#it started because toddy's family thought it would make them look good to have someone in the family do charity

[multishipper-baby]

Anyway after some thinking I've decided that Toddy and Onnie are married in mg future AU. She's gaslight gatekeep girlbossing her way through life and he's her househusband.

[officialwittek]

pt. 4

*gif is not mine* 

word count: 2,101

Ever since my little conversation with the girls I haven’t been able to really be myself around Jeff. Now I notice the side glances, the lingering touches on my thigh, the way his breath hitches when I get pushed a little too close to him at parties, and everything else I haven’t noticed before. My friends were adamant that he liked me back but I couldn’t see it. Slowly I distanced myself from them, for one my manager thought it would be a good idea to release some new music soon so I was extra busy and I can’t really be around my friends without feeling like my heart is going to explode. Of course they started noticing and not a day went by where I didn’t get texts from at least three of them asking where I was and why I stopped coming around. Even Jason and Josh dropped my apartment to make sure I was still alive.

Three weeks have gone by since my sleepover with Jeff. We still talk but not as much as before. Carly and Natalie were constantly calling and texting and I truly felt bad, but it would seem like such a bullshit excuse to say it’s because of my crush on Jeff.

“Sage, this is... this is real good work. I’m thinking we finish it up, and be set to release it in two weeks” James, my manager, said listening to to the final of three of the songs

“Thanks dad, I think today we’re recording the last song. I’ll email you our final version by the end of the day” I reply, he ruffles my hair and nods, leaving for another meeting while the producer and I talk about the last track

We record for about four hours, fine tuning every last detail. After the two of us finally felt good about it we sent the file to James who also gave the approval. We sent it in the the higher ups who also gave us the ok. All the promotional pictures were finished, we had an album cover chosen, now to put it all together and make this my first serious piece of art. After the long morning I decided to head straight to my apartment. I wasn’t particularly hungry anyways. I parked my car and took the elevator up to my apartment.  

I noticed shushing and brushed it off, thinking it was just Carly and Erin messing around. I unlock the door and see all of my friends crammed into this fairly small apartment. No one had their cameras out and they all had their arms crossed I sighed and put my things down before shutting the door.

“Before you even say anything. No I’m not on drugs, I don’t hate anyone, and I actually have been working on my music. My first EP is coming out in a few weeks” I explain, their faces relax and Carly walks up to me

“Don’t you ever try to ghost us like that again. We hated it” She said, wrapping her slender arms around my shoulders and I nodded, our friends came around and we all had a sweet group hug

“Well a congratulations are in order. I think we should celebrate tonight” David says, laughing loudly

“Fine, I’m stealing a Red Bull from your fridge though” I say, we all go downstairs and I finally notice some of their cars parked there

We all head to David’s house and I grab a Red Bull. We all sit in the living room. Filming dumb bits and getting ready for tonight. David wanted to throw it at his house since he wanted to keep it relatively small. Natalie, Carly, and Erin went to stock up for the night, asking me about all my favorite things. It took about an hour and a half for them to come back. Everyone helped get things from Nat‘s car and set up. We were finally ready and decided to start drinking before everyone got here.

“May Ilya and Zane stay away from the hospital. Amen” I yell, all of them cheering in response as we take our shots

After a few rounds of shots I was already pretty tipsy. I sat down at the couch, answering a few congratulatory texts from others. I talked to a few of our friends here and there. Jeff was nowhere to be found. I frowned a bit, but who can blame him? After all, I’m the one who made the decision to not talk to him.

“Do you think we could get a sneak peak?” Jason asks, taking a set next to me but I shake my head

“I want to keep it a complete surprise. Plus I’ve been thinking about having a release party and showing everyone there” I said, Jason actually thought that was a much better idea than just playing it

We made small talk here and there, apparently Wyatt has been dying to see my new studio. I loved Jason’s kids like they were my own family, especially since Wyatt and I have such a love for music.

“I’d love to have Wyatt at the studio. He can even record some things if he wants to. I know how to produce as well” I said, Jason damn near cried at the suggestion and we set a date

“Someone looks a little sober” Zane yells from behind us, I laugh and allow him to take me to the kitchen where the others were taking shots or making their best interpretations of different cocktails

After sampling everyone’s horrible attempt at a blackberry mojito it’s safe to say I was one shot away from exiting the physical realm. Especially since Zane decided it was appropriate to just dump nearly an entire bottle of rum in the drink. After a few minutes Todd headed to the door and let someone in. I heard the familiar accent and my heart dropped to my stomach. Jeff is here.

To be fair, I’m probably the only one who really cares that much, especially since I’m drunk as hell and I have a crush on the dude. I try to run and hide in a corner but there’s a lot more people now. I finally see an opening and head straight for the backyard. Thankfully no one noticed because Zane was too busy doing something extremely dangerous. I sit in one of the chairs we reserve for smoking, hitting my puff and scrolling mindlessly through TikTok, trying to get the thoughts out of my head. I hear the sliding door open and look up to see David.

“Alright what’s wrong? You look like we threw a party because we killed your dog” David jokes, my lips spread into a light smile

“Nothing, I’ve just been so exhausted lately with everything going on.. that’s all” I lie, I mean I’m not really lying, just not telling him the whole truth

“So it has nothing to do with Jeff showing up and you’re definitely overthinking and avoiding him even more. C’mon I’ve known you for forever, you can’t lie to me” He replies, his tone suddenly being serious

And it’s true, I’ve known David since I moved out here. He was my first real L.A friend. He’s seen me at my absolute lowest moments, and someone I could always go to whenever something was wrong. I hated that he could read me like a book.

“Fine, the Jeff thing is a contributing factor. But I’m being honest about the exhaustion” I say, crossing my arms like a child

We sit and talk, something we haven’t done in forever. It felt nice to have someone listen to me. After about half an hour of just talking we decide to head back inside. I felt too sober again and took some shots with Natalie and Toddy. I could feel Jeff’s eyes glaring a hole into the side of my head, but I was too sober to deal with anything right now.

At around 1:00 am. I got hungry and ordered DoorDash for everyone. All the other guests had left so it was just our main group scattered around the house. Jeff was surprisingly still here. Todd had whispered to me earlier that the only reason he was sticking around this late was to make sure I got home alright. I smiled at the sentiment, he was always making sure my drunk ass was safe.

Our DoorDash arrived and we all ate while watching some movie David found on Netflix. Jeff took a seat next to me, the look in his eyes was telling me he was going to ask for my permission so I simply nodded and scooted over so he could be comfortable. After we ate David wanted to get some last minute bits before we left for his vlog tomorrow.

“Jeff are you attracted to Sage?” David asks, my breath hitches in my throat, making me choke on my water

“No, I’ve blocked her out. Since she’s part of the friend group I don’t want to make anything weird” He replies, I can tell the answer even made David a little upset

Jason makes a joke to lighten the mood before there’s any tension which I greatly appreciate. Although Jeff’s words struck a cord, while I sit there repeating what he said it hits me. He’s right, I can’t guarantee that if Jeff and I were together that it would be for life and I can’t lose my second family. He’s right, it would never happen. Before I know it I feel my eyes watering and Natalie gently grabs my hand before leading me to her room with the rest of the girls in tow. When she closes the door I finally let it all out

“It’s ok princess, let it out” Mariah says, the girls wrapping me in a group hug

“It’s so stupid, we’re best friends before I let this stupid ass crush ruin everything but just hearing him say that out loud made it so much more concrete that we will never be together” I cry, resting my head on her shoulder

We have a little talk and I clean myself up before we all go back outside. At that point  David was done filming and was looking through the footage on his camera to pick out some clips. Jeff was waiting patiently on the couch before Corinna spoke up.

“Hey Jeff, I’m gonna take Sage home. We have some plans tomorrow and it would just be easier if I stay over” She says, it’s sort of true, Corinna has some meetings in the morning and they’re closer to my place but she isn’t staying over

“Oh ok, I should head out then. I’ll see you guys later” Jeff says, saying his goodbyes and leaving

“So was anyone else uncomfortable with Jeff’s answer or was it just me?” David asks, the group agrees, it’s definitely in his right to say that I mean no is mad

“Yea, I wasn’t mad cause it’s his own opinion and Jeff is a big boy, but he seems to sort of lead you on for him to turn around and say that he doesn’t even see you like when we ask him about Natalie and Corinna” Heath replies, everyone nods in agreement and I just sigh

“I’m not mad, I mean I have been sort of ghosting everyone these past few weeks, maybe he’s just upset” I explain, Heath and Todd give me the look

“Baby that’s bullshit and you know it” Heath laughs, Todd agrees with him and taps my leg

“To be honest, he was very stressed out while you were gone” He says, I know he’s trying to make me feel better but it doesn’t really help

Corinna and I leave shortly after we have our little group talk. We caught up during the car ride and before I know it we’re at my apartment. We say goodbye and plan to meet for lunch tomorrow before I head up to my apartment. I knew Carly was probably fast asleep so I tried to be as quiet as possible.

I get ready for bed and climb into my warm blanket, wrapping myself like a burrito. I browse TikTok on my phone for a few minutes before setting my alarm. Just before I let sleep take over my phone buzzes on my nightstand.

Jeff: I missed you.. I’m sorry for being an asshole tonight. I had no idea that I was leading you on, but I didn’t know you had a crush on me..

Fuck.

[nelllraiser]

sharks and strippers | group birthday chatzy

LOCATION: a frozen pond in the forest. PARTIES: @chasseurdeloup, @divineluce, @beatrice-blaze, @whatsin-yourhead, @connorspiracy, @phoenixleah, @notsoharsh, @corpse--diem, @detectivedreameater, @letsbenditlikebennett, @halequeenjas, @walker-journal, @seizethecarpe, Jack SUMMARY: nell’s birthday party has a surprise guest. 

It was technically still two days until Nell's birthday, but with that actual day of celebration stuck right in the middle of the full moon and during the beginning of the work week, it had made much more sense to have the party today. The three Vural girls had pooled their magic to freeze over the pond they'd found to make a suitable outdoor ice skating rink, and hired someone to rent out skates for those that needed them. Fairy lights were hung around the perimeter of the new ice rink, and not all that far away was a bonfire pit already stacked with wood and marshmallows for s'mores nestled into the surrounding snow. Somewhere nearby was a speaker to play some music to skate along to, but perhaps most important was the little tent and table where guests could find an assortment of alcohol. Whoever said intoxication didn't mix well with ice skating hadn't watched their friends hilariously fall on their asses countless times. The spicy aroma of mulled wine and hot toddy filled the air along with irish coffee. In addition to the winter drink staples there were also the typical options for the more traditional. As she waited for others to arrive, Nell paced by the edge of the rink, realizing perhaps a bit too late that a magical invitation might not be all that intuitive for everyone receiving it. "You don't think they'll get lost, right? I mean- if you saw a golden trail come from an invitation you'd follow it, wouldn't you?" she asked.

Kaden wasn’t really up for a party, but this was for Nell. And the invitation was from Bea. So he’d make a brief appearance. Plus, it was a decent distraction. Might as well. And he knew it would be a sight to see. He ripped the invitation, followed the golden light and ended up in the middle of the woods. Of course they made it a magical invite. It took a while to get there, but none of it felt like the middle of the woods. It was decorated to the nines, as expected. He dropped his present off at the table that looked like it was meant for that sort of thing and saw the set up for alcohol. His first stop. Easily.

Luce leaned against one of the tables that had been set up, her hands tucked in the pockets of her jeans as she stared at the ice skating rink she and her sisters had put together. The effort had taken more out of her than she'd thought it would and, right now? She just wanted to sit down. She didn't even really want to be here. But, after all the shit she'd put Nell through, she had to be here. It wouldn't be fair to Nell if she wasn't here at least pretending like she was enjoying the party. Wandering over to the drink station, she made herself an Irish coffee and took a sip from it. Fuck that was good. They might not have access to the family bank account anymore, but they could still throw a good party. "We're witches. They'll figure it out." Luce said with a shake of her head. "Happy Birthday, Nellie." She added, doing her best to smile in a way that she hoped was convincing.

"I think you're overthinking things," Bea told her sister with an amused smile. "If they don't find it with that, they'll hear the people eventually. Or they can just call one of us. They have my phone number." She went over to the tent with the alcohol,"What do you guys want? I'm getting an Irish coffee." She would be skating drunk later and no one would be able to convince her not to.

The invitation was a little strange. Remmy had fiddled with it for a while before realizing that it was asking them to literally rip the piece of paper in half. As soon as they put that together, they realized that was definitely a very Nell thing to do. Or maybe it was just witches that would do stuff like this. They wondered if Morgan had ever done a fancy invitation thing like this, as they followed the trail through the trees and came upon a lake, frosted over. Nell was there, and they spotted Bea and Luce as well, waving over to them and giving a slow trot over. "Hey! Happy birthday Nell!" they said, trying their hardest to stay bright and happy. They didn't need to think about other stuff right now. Held out the card they'd made her. "Sorry it's not much."

Connor had been happy to receive the invitation to Nell's birthday, but that had led to his tiny dilemma of what to get as a gift. He'd asked Bea for some ideas and brainstormed based on what he knew about her. She seemed the sort of person who would just get whatever she wanted regardless. Ultimately he'd decided on a punny t-shirt that had a cactus on the front with 'Don't Be A Prick' written under it and a six month cactus subscription service so Nell could try out a bunch of different types. He wrapped up warm, like Bea had suggested, following the trail to the party. He put the gift on the gift table, looking around for someone he knew before heading to the bar where he ordered a simple beer. "Hey," he greeted, recognizing Kaden, and recognizing Bea's photo from her online account.

As the invitation led Leah to Nell's party, Leah couldn't help but feel equal parts excited and anxious. It was always a blast to celebrate with the Vurals, but the rumors that they were going to be ice skating had her worried about exposure. She wasn't cold at all, but she was still wearing her heaviest coat, gloves, and a hat. She made her way right to the alcohol tent, knowing full well that's where Bea would be. "Surprise me", she said with a grin, still holding Nell's present under her arm. "Where's the birthday girl?"

As people began to filter towards the party, it seemed that Luce's and Bea's words had come true. With an instantaneous wave at those arriving, Nell greeted everyone with a wide and eager smile, just happy that people had showed up. "Hi guys! Thanks," she said to everyone that greeted her, already bouncing towards the bar where people were seeming to gather. "I'm glad you guys are getting your alcohol before you get on the ice. Then it can be my gift to watch all of you fall." In a moment she was grabbing her own drink in the form of a hot toddy, having already asked for it before the festivities began.

Harsh lurked in the shade, waiting for the sun to dip just a bit more. At least it was getting dark earlier and earlier now. He wouldn't have to wait too much longer to grace Nell's party with his presence. He ripped open the invitation, blinking at the sudden spill of golden light. Witches, they always had the best toys. He followed it, careful to still stick to shady patches where he could find them, just in case the setting sun had it out for him. It didn't take too long to wander his way to the end of the golden path. He dropped his small, neatly wrapped present off with the others before glancing around, grinning when he spotted Nell. He lifted a hand in a little wave before heading over to inspect the booze.

Kaden gave Connor a small wave as he ordered a hot toddy. "I see you all went all out," he said to the sisters. "I expected nothing less." He recognized a number of familiar faces and expected more would file in as the night went on. "Have to say, I'm worried about the ice skating. Did you bring magical first aid kits out here, too? You might need them."

“There’s no location,” Erin pointed out as she inspected the invitation. Keys in hand, jacket on, present in tow, she was ready to head out the door when she realized this one crucial piece of information. How did she miss that when she’d originally received it or when she had made the initial RSVP with Bea? She started out the door anyway, pulling her phone out, hovering over the older Vural sister’s phone number again. “Are you ready to go?” She called back to Marley, narrowing her eyes, scanning the invitation for the fiftieth time. With all the heaviness surrounding them lately, Erin had actually been looking forward to this. She dialed the number and shrugged at Marley as she waited. “I think there’s a typo or something. I'm calling Bea now,” she said, holding it out to her.

Marley picked up the invitation handed to her and read it over once, before rolling her eyes and looking up at Erin. "It literally says right here to rip it in half," she answered, not waiting for Erin to say anything before taking the paper and ripping it straight in half. She handed the two pieces back to Erin before pulling on her jacket. "There better be alcohol at this party," she mumbled, "I don't do parties without alcohol."

Connor smiled over at Nell. "Darling, people are going to be falling arse over tit by the time this is over. If watching people fall is your idea of a good time, you're gonna have a hell of a birthday." He spotted Leah, giving her a grin. "Hey, thanks for the book help the other day." He glanced around. People were still trickling in. "I hardly know anyone here. Some of Nell's friends are kinda old."

Bea grinned at Kaden as her phone rang. "Hello, this is Bea, if this is about the party rip the invitation in half. It'll guide you to us. Bring a jacket too!!" She answered chriply.

Ariana had followed the little lights from the invitation with a fascinated look on her face. While magic was over her head, she found it to be too cool all the same. The little glowing lights led her up to an outdoor ice skating area. She could hear the chatter before she approached and smiled when she saw some familiar faces. She waved in Nell and Connor's direction and brightly greeted, "Happy birthday! Hope you don't mind- I dropped your gift off by your house because it would have been a pain in the ass to carry home. You'll see what I mean."

There were too many people by the alcohol. And, when Luce's choice of who to talk with were between Remmy, Kaden, Leah, some random white boy who was calling people old? Christ. No fucking thanks. Slipping away from the crowd of people, she took her steaming cup of Irish coffee and made her way over to the fire that was roaring off to the side. She didn't care much about the heat or the smores, she was just glad to be out of the fucking away. She'd hang around and make sure the fire was going. She'd do her part to make this a nice birthday for her sister. Glancing across the fire, she pointed at the sticks that were left for people to stab marshmallows on. "If you want smores, go nuts."

Nell waved over at Harsh as he greeted her, hoping the sun would set a little faster so that he'd be able to join the festivities a bit more freely. Nevertheless, she waved him over to the bar where everyone was. Laughing a little she quickly said to Connor, "Why do you think I specifically chose an ice rink? Watching my friends make fools of themselves is my dream." Then she was grinning at Ariana, waving yet again with vigor. "It's that big?" Nell chuckled curiously. "So are you gonna skate with me?"

Connor raised an eyebrow at Ari's mention of her gift. "Bruv, what do you mean? Too big? What'd you get her? A life-size sculpture of Greg the dog?" he asked with a chuckle. He lifted his beer in a small toast. "Happy birthday to Nell, happy party-day to everyone else. I'm Connor, by the way."

Jasmine decided she maybe should have worn more practical heels for this little follow the light to Nell's birthday venture. Normally, she was all about the whole being extra thing, but today, her feet were not particularly feeling it. For Nell, it was all worth it. She'd had a gift in hand that she set down on the table as she approached. She gravitated toward Bea and huffed, "Leave it to you to go all out down to the invitation, Beatrice." She scanned the crowd and waved at a few familiar faces.

Ariana tried to muster her most serious face as she answered Connor's joke. "Obviously. What else would I have made Nell for her birthday?" At Nell's mention of skating, she lit up. Given most of her skating past had included playing hockey, but skating just for skating's sake was always fun too. "You don't have to ask me twice. I love ice skating."

Harsh glanced around, finding a few familiar faces. Huh, it really was a small world. Or a small town, whatever. He followed Nell's wave, casually keeping himself out of the sun. There were enough shadowed spots that it shouldn't be too obvious. "Thanks for the invite, it's pretty cool out here." Trying to catch Kaden's eye, he gave him a little nod. "Hey man, didn't know you were gonna be here. I really need to get out more, I can't remember the last time I went to an actual party."

Remmy,confused, watched Luce slink away and over to the fire pit. They furrowed their brow, but chose to ignore it for now, and smiled at Nell. Moose was already rolling around in the snow, happy as ever. The one person Remmy didn't recognize yet introduced himself as was Connor and they waved. "I'm Remmy," they said, nodding, "and I think I'm gonna try skating!" They backed away and headed over to the table full of skates to rent and picked out their size. They plopped down, put on their boots, and stood up. They hadn't been skating in ages, but how hard could it be? They gave a pointed glance towards Luce at the fire pit before stepping out onto the ice, watching Moose tentatively test it out before deciding to sit happily in the snow at the edge.

"I do have some magical first aid kits, just so you know. I'm prepared for a few scraps," Bea told Kaden. She looked over at Jasmine with a shrug,"You remember how her birthdays were as a kid. She deserves all out." Bea and her friends had always been the few people who came to Nell's birthday parties when she was young. Her classmates, and even the kids in the coven, had avoided Nell. Her sisters had to give Nell a good birthday, especially after how this year has gone for them.

Connor nodded, giving Remmy a smile. "Nice to meet you, mate. Once I've finished this beer, I might grab a pair of skates myself. Hopefully still got enough of my ballet co-ordination to not make an absolute dick of myself." He edged a little closer to Nell, lowering his voice. "How do you know the old people?"

Erins’ mouth gaped as she literally tore the invitation. “What are you--” Almost at the same time, Bea answered and confirmed her question before she could even say anything. Lights appeared out of thin air. “Oh. Thanks. See you soon.” Of course. Magic. That was pretty cool actually. She hung up and led the way. “We’re going to a 24 year old’s birthday party. If there’s not alcohol, I’m leaving,” she joked. Kind of. But if she thought the lights were cool, the frozen pond that definitely shouldn’t be frozen in this weather was just as cool. She moved towards the first familiar face she saw, surprised to see her realtor with Bea, as well as a few others that were less pleasant surprises. “Oh, great,” she mumbled to Marley when she saw Kaden, waving towards Bea and Jasmine. “Please tell me you see the alcohol.”

Ariana snickered to herself as she heard Connor whisper about the old people.

Leah R Sipped her sangria, eyeing the rink cautiously as she walked closer to Bea, Kaden, and Jasmine. "How good are those first aid kits at healing broken bones?" she teased playfully. There was no way she would be out there skating today, but it would be fun to watch her friends tumble over each other. She glanced at Kaden, giving him a short, tight smile, before she looked back to her friends. "That stripper dude that came to your birthday isn't coming, is he? I think it's probably too cold for a stripper."

Luce wasn't surprised by the way Remmy looked at her and she let out a sigh. This wasn't the time or place for drama. Taking another large drink from her cup, Luce looked at the fire and nudged it with magic. The flames turned a slight blue color as she helped it burn a little higher. Glancing over the firepit, she watched as Jasmine, Erin, Marley, and a few other stragglers made their way into the party. What the fuck kind of shoes was Jas wearing?

It took a quick moment to lace up her skates, and in another second Nell was making her way to the ice with her drink still in hand, beckoning the others along. Nell's snicker was quick to join Ariana's before she said, "You know old people need attention, too. If you don't pay attention to them that's how they get wrinkles." Her tone was purposefully loud enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear."

"I sure do," Marley answered, because she'd scouted out the bar table the second she'd gotten there. There were a few familiar faces around, including Langley, of course, but she really didn't care. She didn't exactly want to be here in the first place, but Erin had bullied her into going, and she did kind of like the littlest Vural. Even if she was annoying. Mostly. She split away from Erin and headed towards the bar table, not waiting for her, sunglasses snug on her face. The sun was bright and it was making her head hurt to look at, and this place had just the cure. "Mexican coffee," she said, pointing at the tequila and then the big pot of coffee. "Put a little extra love in it, too."

Jack hadn't expected to be invited back to an event by a Vural after the last time, and definitely not socially rather than as a performer. As he eyed the ice and his breath curling in the cool air, he was kind of glad of that though. He couldn't quite show off his incredible abs and biceps to the crowd in his coat, but there was no amount of clothing that could hide his immaculate silhouette. He slid over to the bar with a casual grace. "Hey Bea, how are you doing?"

Jasmine nodded as she remembered Nell's birthday parties when they were kids. She never quite understood why other kids didn't show up but she was glad Nell got to have something this special now. Even if she did have to walk out here in heels. Skates would actually be a nice change of pace. "Point taken. Next time just warn a girl and she'll wear chunkier heels." She nudged Bea's arm jokingly and gave Kaden a wave. She was just going to gloss over the fact she thought he was a stripper up until a couple of weeks ago. She smiled brightly as Erin approached and said, "You could not be more right, Erin. I need a glass of wine."

Kaden gave Harsh a nod back. "Yeah, I've been friends with Bea for a while now. Nell's had to put up with me at enough dinners over at their house. Guess that earned me an invite." In truth, he cared about Nell, too, but admitting that was different. "How do you know the Vurals?" He blinked in confusion as he saw the stripper from the last party walk in. It was... outdoors. And cold. There was no way they were going to be subjected to this again. At least no one was asking him to strip. Again. For now. Putain. "I think I'm going to need more alcohol for this."

Connor snickered, lightly elbowing Nell. "Oh, better make sure you give them all the attention then. Especially that truck-sized man over there." He could see the sheer size of the man's muscles even beneath the layers of clothing. "Is that Remmy person cool? I'm trying to decide how long is socially acceptable to wait before I ask to pet their dog."

"Not good at all," Bea replied. She wished she could drag her friend out there, but the risk of her breaking wouldn't be worth it. "You could hang out of the edge of the pond? We could try to skate around there if you wanted." She let out a soft laugh as Leah spoke,"I invited him actually. He's sweet and here he comes now!" She grinned at Jack,"Hi! I'm great, so glad you can come! How are you?" She looked over to Jas quickly,"Try the mulled wine! Jack, do you want something to drink?"

Harsh couldn't bite back a laugh. "Wait, you had a stripper at your party? Okay, I clearly need to party with you more often." He turned his smile toward Leah. "Hey, don't think we've met, I'm Harsh." Looking back toward Kaden, he shrugged. "Nell and I hang out sometimes, I haven't spent too much time with the others though. I guess now's a good time to change that."

Jasmine laughed al Nell spoke more loudly. "Yeah, if you don't believe in the old people. They just wither and wrinkle away." She shot a glance over in the area Kaden, Erin, and Bea were standing. She shrugged and looked over to Remmy and asked, "Hey, do you mind if we pet your dog?"

Ariana laughed al Nell spoke more loudly. "Yeah, if you don't believe in the old people. They just wither and wrinkle away." She shot a glance over in the area Kaden, Erin, and Bea were standing. She shrugged and looked over to Remmy and asked, "Hey, do you mind if we pet your dog?"

"Oh hey!" Nell exclaimed as she spotted the enormous man seemingly appear out of thin air which was...quite a feat for someone so large. "Have you met, Kaden?" she asked, pointing towards the man in question. "I think he's actually looking into the stripping business if you have any tips for him," she said in a hushed tone to Jack. Then she turned back to Connor. "Yeah, Remmy is great! And if Moose isn't working I'm sure they'd be fine if you asked to pet him. He's a good boy." Then she turned to Ariana, trying to tug her friend towards the ice with her.

Leah shrugged, not at all put off by not being able to participate in the more physical activities that her friends enjoyed. She was used to it, honestly. "I'll just hang onto the side if I get the urge", she teased, right before her eyes went wide at Bea's next words. "You, invited him? Are you buds with an immaculately sculpted stripper now?" Leah felt heat rise to her face at the idea of it, remembering how forward the man had been at Bea's party. A stranger's introduction was the perfect excuse to calm herself down from the embarrassment. "I'm Leah,” she said with a smile, shaking his hand. She wondered if her body heat crept through her gloves. "I'm good friends with Nell's sister, haven't missed one of her birthday parties yet." She smiled as she looked around at the other members of the party, most of whom she'd met at least once before. "Everyone here is pretty cool, mostly anywhere. There are a few stragglers", she said, her gaze falling to Kaden.

Connor nodded a hello to the other person close-by that he didn't know, who had introduced himself as Harsh. Ariana, in true form, wasn't shy about asking about the gigantic Leonberger. "Well, I don't see a vest on him, so I guess it's okay to ask." People were heading towards the ice, so he decided to go and rent some skates too.

A long, elongated shadow moved under parts of the ice, bumping against the ice occasionally.

Bea pointed at the ice and laughed, "Look, a shark."

“You and me both,” Erin grinned at Jasmine. “I didn’t know the whole town knew the Vurals.” She wasn’t surprised to see Marley already ordering something for herself and followed suit to the table and ordered a glass for herself. “I thought this was supposed to be a kid’s party?” She joked, watching the crowd. Not that she was complaining. She leaned closer to Jasmine, smirking, lowering her voice like she was sharing a secret. “Also, did I overhear someone say there’s a stripper?”

Luce tossed a fresh couple of logs onto the fire and brushed the bits of bark off her hand. Walking away, she made her way back towards the ice, moving past Leah, Jasmine, and Bea. Raising an eyebrow at Leah's words and pointed glance at Kaden, she raised her eyebrows. As she neared the edge of the ice, Luce frowned. There was a dark shadow under the ice-- what? What the fuck was that? Looking over at her sister, Luce rolled her eyes. "It's probably just a piece of driftwood." She said, though she kept her eyes focused on the strange shape.

Connor turned his head at the mention of the word 'shark', furrowing his brow. "Oh, nah, not more White Crest bullshit. It's a birthday party, bro."

Nell saw the shadow moving beneath, and for a quick second wondered whether Ma'al's tentacley ass had decided to make an appearance. Was that cult appropriate? "Maybe it's Squidward," she chuckled, remembering the demon who had lived in the lake.

Jasmine tilted her head and gave Leah a questioning look as he gaze implied Kaden wasn't cool. She barely refrained from asking about it in the moment. Instead, she smiled brightly at Jack. "It's nice to have you here as a guest." Though she did slightly prefer his stripping attire. "Mulled wine it is." She agreed with Erin and said, "They really do, but it's good to see a familiar face. How do you know the Vurals?" She laughed at the mention of there being alcohol and a stripper at a kids' party.

Remmy stopped in the middle of the rink at the mention of 'shark' and glanced around their feet. They noticed the shadow swimming around under them then over to the edge. "Is that, like-- possible? Is he okay? Do you think he's scared?" they asked, skating over to the edge back near Moose and trying to scrape away some ice with the pick of their skate. "Should we do something!?" they asked worriedly.

Kaden rolled his eyes at Leah's pointed comment towards him. What he did to piss her off other than existing, he didn't fucking know. At least he knew why Marley and Erin disliked him. That was good and earned. His brow furrowed at the mention of a fucking shark in the pond. "Only in goddamn White Crest. What is it?" he asked as he approached the ice, drink still in hand but reaching for his knife, just in case.

Bea laughed,"Are you shocked that I became friends with him? He was fun at the birthday party and I love having connections with performers." She kept her eye on the shadow, "Luce's right, it's driftwood, but I'm also right and it's a shark. Driftwood shark. Sharkwood?"

Luce glanced over at Remmy, blinking at their question. "I really don't think that it's a shark. Bea's joking. Or hitting the irish coffee too hard." As Kaden walked up, hand going to the knife on his belt, Luce scowled at him. "Stand down, Ranger Rick. It's nothing. We would have noticed if there was a damn shark in the pond." Right? They would have noticed, right?

Connor hadn't even got to the skate rental booth. He'd turned to watch what was happening with the shark. He doubted it was spiritual in nature, so an exorcist wouldn't do any good. Instead, he stood at the edge of the pond, a little ways back. "Of course Kaden's got his knife." He wasn't complaining when the guy had helped with his Snicker Snacker problem, but at a birthday party? Only in White Crest.

With everyone distracted, maybe Marley could just slip away and go home. Erin seemed to be having fun with her actual friends, anyway. The woman she was with was one Marley recognized from somewhere. Like...a post sign or an ad for something. Marley squinted at her, luckily her gaze hidden behind her glasses, but she wasn't exactly being subtle about it. She sipped her coffee and plodded a little further away, sitting near the fire pit but away from most of the others gathered around it. Where the _fuck_ did she know that woman's face from?

Nell took note of her own knives that were nearly always on her person, not pulling one out but all too willing to take a tease at Kaden despite the hypocrisy of it. "It's the only way he knows how to make friends." It was...actually somewhat true considering all the people he'd to mistakenly hunt and then befriended.

Harsh returned Leah's handshake, more than a little grateful that her gloves probably hid the fact that he was a little colder than he should have been. "Nice to meet you. If they throw a lot of parties like this, I've got to get myself invited to more." The word 'shark floating around turned Harsh's head, his brow furrowing. Well, it probably wouldn't be a White Crest party without some kind of insane nonsense. He casually sauntered a little closer to the ice, trying to catch a glimpse of the supposed shark. "Well, if it's not hurting anyone, or itself, maybe we should leave it be for a bit."

Ariana looked down at the ice and tried to decipher what was underneath it. "Doesn't look like a shark." She peered over the ice as she tried to get a better look before shrugging and deciding to skate anyway. "Come on," she motioned for Nell and Connor to join her while also laughing at the joke's at Kaden's expense.

Leah shook her head with a laugh, grinning. "Listen, I don't know why anything shocks me anymore. As long as you think he's cool and he won't give me a lap dance, I don't mind getting to know him." She tilted her head as the attention turned to a figure under the ice. "A pond shark? It's pretty unlikely". It was more likely a Selkie or a mermaid, here in White Crest. She hoped whoever froze over the pond checked for anyone alive underneath, first. She nodded at Harsh's comment. "Yes, let's let it Bea. It's probably just, uh... saying hello!"

The shadow swam another lap of the pond at unbelievable speeds, banging its tail against the ice where the crowd was.

Remmy shrugged, then, looking at Luce and then everyone else who just didn't seem to care about what was under the ice. Whatever it was, it probably was okay under there. Still a tad nervous, Remmy stood back up and skated backwards, slowly, away from Luce and towards the middle again. "Should we at least give it a little place to get out?"

Erin should have been better prepared for that question. Any which way, her connection with the Vural’s was wildly illegal. “Oh, just family friends,” she shrugged, taking a hearty sip of the mulled wine. And then another when there was sudden talk about a shark in the pond. “Sharks and strippers. Why does this feel appropriate for a Vural party?” Maybe she should have been more worried about whatever was floating down there but she couldn’t bring herself to do more than drink again. Erin glanced over at Marley and narrowed her eyes. “Are you…good?”

Connor wandered over to Jasmine, almost like a child returning to a mother's side during a time of crisis. "Hey, do they have pond sharks in White Crest?"

Jasmine vaguely noticed one of the women staring at her. It wasn't entirely uncommon, her outfit did look great. She decided to stay at the table with the alcohol at the mention of a shark in the pond. It wasn't surprising to see Harsh check it out more closely. Ever the hunter that one was. She stayed close to Bea as she had no need to see what animal was in the pond. "I don't know what it is, but I think I'll let someone else figure it out." Not a ghost, not her problem was her mentality for today. Especially with a hunter present. She still felt eyes on her so she opted to smile and wave.

Luce jumped back as the shadow moved under the ice and began to smack against the ice. "Fuck!" She swore, startled by the sudden movement and noise. Glancing over at Leah and the random dude next to her, Luce glanced around at the people who were gathered. Pond shark, or whatever the fuck it was, didn't wanna be in there. At Remmy's words, she nodded. "Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Outta the way, people." She said before raising a hand. A small flickering blue flame appeared on the ice and began to melt through. As a hole began to form, Luce snuffed out the magic and then drove the heel of her Doc Marten into the weakened section of ice. Kicking at the ice, she broke open a small area of water and looked down at it. "Uh... shark? You there?" She asked, feeling real fucking stupid as she did.

Harsh grimaced. Alright, that probably wasn't normal. Pond sharks were one thing, but aggressive, turbo, pond sharks were probably worse. He glanced around. "Alright, maybe it's time to get off the ice." He drew a little closer, watching as Luce took charge. "We should give it some space. If it's confused, it might bite anything it gets close to."

Bea watched as she sipped her coffee. It was mainly whiskey, but she was happy with it nonetheless. Pond sharks were exciting and people seemed to be intrigued by it. "I gotta thank whoever put the shark in the pond, this is fun," She wondered if Luce did it as a surprise like Nell had hired Jack for her party.

Jasmine nodded. "Family friends, good stuff." She gave Bea a smile and explained, "I've known this lovely lady since kindergarten." Her attention turned to Connor as he approached and she gave him a pat on the shoulder, "I know the lake used to have a squid. Don't know about pond sharks."

Connor was too stupid to be scared of whatever was in the pond, and instead opted for excitedly intrigued. He sensed he was about to watch one of the Vural sisters do some magic and was thrilled at the prospect. "I love that."

"Wait, I wanna see what it is!" Nell told Ariana as she tried to skate away. "Maybe he just wants a drink..." she mused before tipping a bit of her drink onto the ice as if she were making an offering. "Here you go, Shark-Boy."

Jasmine pouted and scooted up towards the edge of the ice. "It's probably just a fish!" Maybe not in White Crest, but she wanted to skate. "Oh my god," she laughed as Nell poured out a drink on the ice. "You're really giving a whole new meaning to pouring one out for the homies."

Marley felt like her name was right on the tip of her tongue, the mystery lady at the table, but she couldn't figure it out. Grumpily, she sipped more of her coffee, finishing it off before standing up and heading over for another. While she waited, she looked at Erin, then to her companion. "I know you from somewhere, don't I?" she asked, rubbing her eyes briefly before glancing sideways at Erin. "Peachy keen," she said with a grimace, "I've got coffee and alcohol, what more could a girl want?"

Ariana pouted and scooted up towards the edge of the ice. "It's probably just a fish!" Maybe not in White Crest, but she wanted to skate. "Oh my god," she laughed as Nell poured out a drink on the ice. "You're really giving a whole new meaning to pouring one out for the homies."

Jasmine tilted her head and tried to gather if she recognized the other woman. "I don't think we've met, but I'm Jasmine. You've probably seen some of my advertisements around town." She raised her glass towards the woman and said, "Good to meet you."

Bea inched closer to the crowd, she wanted to see the shark. "Do sharks like coffee?"

Luce scowled as Nell leaned over and poured her drink into the ice. "Don't do that. You might... drown it? Can coffee drown sharks? Or is that poisoning?" She asked, looking around for anyone who might have more than a high school freshman biology background.

Adam busted in late pretty sure his ass was grass for getting 'delayed'. However when it turned out that the lady of the hour was peering as some shark circling beneath the ice, siblings and dumbasses in tow, Adam promptly decided to take a swig of birthday wine earlier

Connor couldn't hear all the conversation that was going on surrounding the shark, but he'd decided to forgo getting his skates for the time being. He put his empty bottle in the recycling and ordered another drink. "Well, whatever it is, Kaden is about to go all Crocodile Dundee on it's arse, so I'm not worried about it.”

Leah glanced toward Bea as she inched closer to the pond, pressing her lips together. "I don't think they do... but are we sure that's even a shark?", she wondered aloud. She sipped from her sangria again, she was far too sober for this.

Remmy skated over a little closer to the hole Luce had made and watched with the others, wondering what might come out of the hole. "It-- I...don't think sharks can drown, Luce," they said, a little confused. Could they? "Don't they like...breath water? They've got gills and stuff..." They looked over at Luce and Ariana, pouring stuff onto the ice and into the hole for him. "Maybe we're scaring him by all standing around. SHould we give him some space?"

"It's a shark for sure, I have a degree in this," Bea told Leah seriously, though they both knew that was a lie. "Do you think the shark can get caffeinated?" Seeing Adam, she waved,"Adam! There's a shark here!"

Jasmine took a sip of her mulled wine and looked towards Kaden. Crocodile Dundee? She trusted Harsh to handle it more if it was really needed. "Right, well, he can have fun with that then. I'll be over here enjoying my wine away from the wild life."

Adam threw up his hands and said. "People told me NOT to bring my guns to a party! What the Hell!"

Jasmine shook her head at Nell's gun nut boyfriend.

Connor had watched Adam stroll in. He hoped the guy had brought Nell a bloody good present for turning up late. She didn't seem too upset about it though. "That's Adam. He's just... special."

“Oh, I remember the squid,” Erin shook her head. Boy howdy did she ever. “Jasmine’s the one who got me set up in my apartment, actually,” she added, glancing at Marley, though it was hard to keep her attention off of the group circling the hole in the lake. Leaning against the bar, she ordered another drink. “They look like they’ve definitely got it under control.”

Luce raised an eyebrow at Adam's outburst before returning to the hole. There wasn't anything going on at the moment, but that didn't mean it wasn't gonna pop out of the ice and try and eat them or something. Poking at the water with her boot, Luce looked at Remmy. "Shark's got stage fright? I mean, I've heard weirder shit, so you might be onto something there." She said before shuffling back a bit.

One minute, Dave had been scouting out whether there was any Gryndylow in this tiny pond, beating the pond bottom with his fin to disturb whatever was down there and get a feel for it. The next, he was resurfacing and had banged his head against a lid of ice. No way in hell had it been anywhere near cold enough to freeze over the entire pond in the ten minutes he'd been down there. But it had. Dave had swum around and around, looking for any gap, and had bounced his body against it to try and break the ice until he had a headache. It was only then that he began to worry, the oxygen in his arteries slowly running out. When he'd noticed shadows moving over the ice, he'd tried to get their attention, banging on the ice. Suddenly part of the water warmed up, and he felt the ice crack through his whiskers. Dave swam up quickly, poking his heavily scarred snout out of the water to breath deeply. Imminent threat of death solved, he now had to address the seal in the room: that there shouldn't have been a seal in this pond, and that there definitely shouldn't have been a loose leopard seal on this side of the equator.

As soon as the seal's head broke the ice, a look of slight disappointment came over Nell's face. "Oh. It's a seal." A shark would have been cooler.

"Oh, yes! Right! That's where I've seen your face! On the bench outside the precinct! You're the realtor gal, Jasmine Hale," Marley said, excited suddenly, that something, finally something could come to mind without hours of sitting and thinking about it. She sighed with audible relief and grabbed her next drink, sliding up next to Erin, suddenly much less moody than before. She leaned against Erin as she held her hand out to Jasmine. "Marley Stryder. Nice to meet you. For real. You're like half a celebrity in this town, considering your face is everywhere."

Adam looked at Bea with a scowl that betrayed just a hint of disappointment that a deadly predator hadn't shown up at a social occasion. "It’s a fuckin seal.”

It struck Connor that he'd been the first to ask how Nell knew all these old people, but now he was the one hanging out with them all while the rest of them were skating. "Jas and I only met after I'd found my beach house, but she's pretty good at her job. I bet your place is sick." He turned his head at the commotion as the shark - which actually now revealed itself to be some type of giant seal - emerged from the icy water. "Don't stab it! Or shoot it!" He called, stepping closer to the ice. "Just... I dunno, let it wobble off or something."

"Well, it looked like a shark!!" Bea isn't sure why anyone believed her, but it was nice to know her influence. "Do seals like coffee? Or whiskey?"

Ariana stopped skating as she saw a seal emerge from a hole in the pond. A seal. In a pond. Was it Ricky or Skylar? She'd never actually seen them as seals before so she skated closer to the opening. She eyed Adam and Kaden to see what their reaction would be. "See, it's just a seal. No reason to not skate."

Kaden was waiting for a monster of some sort to pop out from the hole in the ice. It was absolutely the sort of thing that would happen in White Crest. When he saw a seal, a leopard seal at that, all he could say was "putain de merde." There was no reason a seal like that could be in a pond unless it was a selkie. He really should stab it. He would have a year ago. But for now, he sighed and put the knife away. "Leave the seal alone."

Harsh glanced at the weirdo yelling about guns. "Yeah, I still don't think shooting it is the best idea. But I think we should all give it some space, like they said," he noted, nodding at Remmy. His eyes went wide as a seal poked its head up out of the ice. Well, that was new. He moved closer carefully, kneeling near the open hole. "I think it's alright, but uh, I wouldn't give it any alcohol."

Luce swore as the ice was broken and a big fucking animal poked its head out of the water and huffed. "What the fuck is that thing doing in our pond?" She asked. Looking over at Nell, she realized her sister was right. It was a seal. And now Adam had figured it was a seal. Okay, apparently everyone was a fucking zoologist or whatever. "Yeah, what the pasty british kid said. No one attacked it. Just stay away from the hole and let it have room to breathe or whatever."

A seal? Wait-- it wasn't-- Remmy blinked and focused on them. No, not Skylar. Sighing with relief, they skated back over, still keeping a distance. "Umm, are you okay mister seal? Or um-- misses seal? I can't-- I don't know seal genders..." they looked over at everyone else, up to Luce, shrugging. "Maybe they got stuck? Do you need help? I think there's a river close by..." But no one else seemed to be moving to try and help the surprised looking seal. "Should we help them?"

Leah laughed at Bea, shaking her head. It was definitely not a shark, then. But a seal, which meant it was a selkie, which meant they probably needed some room to breath. "Maybe we should leave it alone", she said, agreeing with Kaden for once. She was surprised that he wasn't attacking it, didn't hunters hate selkies, too?

"Big seal," Bea observed. "I'm kind of disappointed that it wasn't a shark, but a seal is cool too." She considered her little sister's friends for a moment, before speaking to the crowd,"Don't try to pet the seal too."

Adam disappeared off to the greenhouse for a time and returned with some plywood planks. Merrily slide-swearing his way out to the pond, Adam proceeded to cover the hole so people didn't plunge in.

If Dave had been able to hear the reaction and thoughts of everyone there, he would have been offended. As Immo's most murderous character, he was definitely more dangerous than the average shark.

Connor couldn't even be upset at the pasty British kid comment, considering it was true. "Yeah, see?" He swallowed another mouthful of beer, deciding he was actually going to get his skates now. He joined the others on the ice within a few moments, but not too close to the seal-hole. "Come on, mate. Weirder shit happens in this town than pond sharks and pond seals. As long as it isn't eating anyone, it's fine." He looked over at Adam, who'd returned with some planks. "Dude, I know you're a football player or whatever, but you know seals need to breathe, right?"

As the wood covered the hole, Nell tried to pour a little more of the hot toddy through the planks of it, figuring the seal should also have a good time. "It's okay- maybe he just wants a drink."

Adam peered down at the seal whose hole he was boarding up, give him a long "Dude we gonna do this or naw?" stare.

Luce shrugged at Remmy's suggestion, shaking her head as she stared at the seal that still had its head poking out the hole. "I'm not about to try and get that thing outta here, I'd get my hand bitten off if I tried to help it out." Watching as Nell moved to pour more alcohol on the animal, Luce grabbed her sister's arm. "C'mon, don't fuck with the wildlife." She chided. "How'd you like it if someone dumped a hot toddy on your head after you got out of bed or whatever?"

Dave carefully considered his options, breathing deeply. They'd forget this, right? Regular humans would talk about the weird fish they'd seen. Just as he'd gotten enough air for half an hour, that fucking kid he'd met in the underwater cave that one time began boarding him up. I damn well saved your neck back then he thought aggressively at Adam, slowly slinking back into the water. As a hot liquid was poured on him, he jerked back in clear discomfort, diving back under the water. He'd have to wait until they fucked off before leaving.

Erin raised a skeptic eyebrow at Marley, her mood suddenly brightening. Didn’t have time to question it as the creature was revealed to be a seal. “Aw, a seal?” Wait, a seal? Her first thought went to Skylar. She doubted it was her but she started gravitating a little closer. “Jesus Christ, Nell, stop pouring alcohol on the seal!” She yelled.

"Aww, oh no," Nell said as the seal obviously didn't like her offer of a drink, not having meant to pour it on the seal. "Sorry!" she called down into the hole even after the seal had disappeared. "I can get something colder if you want?"

Adam murmured "Hey uh Nell....did you like...brain-warp this seal in here..or?"

Remmy frowned, a bit sadly, as Adam started boarding up the hole the seal was in. What if it was a selkie, like Skylar and Ricky? What if they were worried or scared? But they didn't have too much time to contemplate this, as the seal recoiled and dove back under. "Ahh, wait-- oh," they sighed, "bye seal." Waved at them before standing up again and looking down at Luce. "Are you gonna sulk by the fire pit the whole time, or?" they asked, raising a brow. "Don't tell me you don't know how to skate."

Nell considered the question for a long-moment in her inebriated state, wondering if she had actually Summoned the seal here. "...maybe? I don't think so. No- if it was me it would have been a shark. A shark would have been cooler," she lamented once again.

Kaden shouted out at Nell, "What did I say? Leave the sel-- seal. Leave the seal alone." He grumbled and went to refill his drink. He was going to need a lot more to deal with this.

Harsh rose as the gun weirdo moved to board up the hole. Well, crisis apparently averted then. He so needed a drink. Hands in his pockets, he wandered back over to the drinks table to grab something strong.

Adam gave Nell a helpless 'babe your crazy is hot but it scares me' grin and stood up to awkwardly scoot his way over to actually get some skates

Ariana kept skating around the ice and her features brightened up as she saw Adam grabbing skates. "Finally."

Bea looked over at the older crowd around her, "Do we want to get on the ice too?"

Luce looked over at Remmy, squinting as they waved "bye seal" to the weird fucking seal chilling in the pond they'd commandeered for the party. Okay then. Well, that was enough excitement she could take sober. She needed some real fucking alcohol. "I do know how to skate, but I'm sure not gonna do it when that," She gestured to the recently vacated airhole, "is swimming underneath us. Did you see those teeth? It'd fucking bite off a leg. I'm gonna drink is what I'm going to do."

Leah glanced at her friends, deciding what might be best to do. "I'll just walk on the ice, not skate. That's way less chance of me falling in, right? Walking and holding onto the side." Somehow, the drink in her hand was already empty, and a warm haze surrounded her vision.

Jasmine took another long sip of her wine and happily said, "Absolutely. Now that I know nothing in the pond will try to eat me, I'm game."

Connor skated around with Ari and Nell and Leah and now, Adam. "Are you the only one underage?" he asked Ari, giving her a little smile. "Don't worry. Fuck pre-gaming. We can post-game at my house now that it's not infested any more."

Kaden sighed. "Are you going to make me?"

Adam looked back at Connor with a frown, wondering if the infestation was ghosts or cockroaches or satan or something but decided not to ask. He tied up his skates and began breaklining across the pond, perhaps unsure of what 'casual skating' was.

Remmy shook their head. "Scaredy cat," they teased, before skating away. Moose had been following them along the outside of the pond, running back and forth, making sure to stay away from the hole. Finally, he settled into the spot next to Luce, laying down next to her as he watched Remmy skate away. They were choosing to have a good time, Luce could stay behind and be grumpy all she wanted. They skated up to Nell. "Wanna race?"

Jack was better in high heels than skates, but he got on the ice with enthusiasm. "I don't know what all the fuss was about that big fish," he said with a shrug, flexing his gorgeous muscles as he skated about with perfect grace - even when he lost his balance and fell on his ass.

Ariana knew Remmy wasn't talking to her, but couldn't resist a good race. "Hell yeah she does. I'm getting in on it, too."

Marley took another long sip, watching as everyone finally dispersed once the seal was gone and the hole was boarded up. She looked over at Erin, who had started walking towards the pond as well, yelling at Nell. "Ah, leave her alone," she said, grabbing at Erin's arm, tugging her back, "it's her birthday. Let her be crazy." Besides, she wanted Erin to stay with her. "Wanna roast marshmallows? I hear those are supposed to be good or whatever." Plus, she'd never done that before, and she kinda really wanted to try.

Connor was more than happy to join in one the race, provided they all stayed away from the hole. "Oh, I'll play too, but can I please pet your dog after? He's so cute."

Bea put on her skates and waved to all her friends. "Come on! Have some fun! See Jack is having a great time!"

Adam zipped to the far side of the pond and produced a 'flag' from the jersey under his jack, holding it up high for the races to take their places.

For the rest of the evening, Dave would periodically resurface in that tiny hole to breath, and spent the rest of his time judging everyone at their ice skating skills.

Erin winced when the muscle-y hunk of a man she could only assume to be the stripper hit the ice hard. She wanted to skate but she got the impression Marley wasn’t ready yet. “Sure, marshmallows sound good. But don’t think you’re getting out of getting out there with me,” she said pointedly before following Marley to the open fire.

Seeing Remmy come up beside her, Nell didn't hesitate to answer. "Hell yeah I do!" she echoed Ariana's sentiment. "I can start us off." Then she began a countdown. "Three...two...one...go!" On the word 'go' she didn't hesitate to playfully shove both Remmy and Ariana as she took off and Adam worked his makeshift flag, trying to get a cheap head start by throwing them off kilter. Then she called back to Erin and Marley. "Yeah! Leave me alone!" she laughed as she skated on, carefully avoiding the hole in the ice. Despite the seal, and perhaps even in conjunction with the seal, the warmth of the party had her grinning as she raced around the rink, unable to think of anything she'd trade this party, company, and seal for.

[boreothegoldfinch]

chapter 12 paragraph viii

Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight towards a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster? Is Kitsey right? If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement, the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? Or—like Boris—is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name? It’s not about outward appearances but inward significance. A grandeur in the world, but not of the world, a grandeur that the world doesn’t understand. That first glimpse of pure otherness, in whose presence you bloom out and out and out. A self one does not want. A heart one cannot help. Though my engagement isn’t off, not officially anyway, I’ve been given to understand—gracefully, in the lighter-than-air manner of the Barbours—that no one is holding me to anything. Which is perfect. Nothing’s been said and nothing is said. When I’m invited for dinner (as I am, often, when I’m in town) it’s all very pleasant and light, voluble even, intimate and subtle while not at all personal; I’m treated like a family member (almost), welcome to turn up when I want; I’ve been able to coax Mrs. Barbour out of the apartment a bit, we’ve had some pleasant afternoons out, lunch at the Pierre and an auction or two; and Toddy, without being impolitic in the least, has even managed to let casually and almost accidentally drop the name of a very good doctor, with no suggestion whatever that I might possibly need such a thing.

[As for Pippa: though she took the Oz book, she left the necklace, along with a letter I opened so eagerly I literally ripped through the envelope and tore it in half. The gist—once I got on my knees and fit the pieces together— was this: she’d loved seeing me, our time in the city had meant a lot to her, who in the world could have picked such a beautiful necklace for her? it was perfect, more than perfect, only she couldn’t accept it, it was much too much, she was sorry, and—maybe she was speaking out of turn, and if so she hoped I forgave her, but I shouldn’t think she didn’t love me back, because she did, she did. (You do? I thought, bewildered.) Only it was complicated, she wasn’t thinking only of herself but me too, since we’d both been through so many of the same things, she and I, and we were an awful lot alike—too much. And because we’d both been hurt so badly, so early on, in violent and irremediable ways that most people didn’t, and couldn’t, understand, wasn’t it a bit… precarious? A matter of self-preservation? Two rickety and death-driven persons who would need to lean on each other quite so much? not to say she wasn’t doing well at the moment, because she was, but all that could change in a flash with either of us, couldn’t it? the reversal, the sharp downward slide, and wasn’t that the danger? since our flaws and weaknesses were so much the same, and one of us could bring the other down way too quick? and though this was left to float in the air a bit, I realized instantly, and with some considerable astonishment, what she was getting at. (Dumb of me not to have seen it earlier, after all the injuries, the crushed leg, the multiple surgeries; adorable drag in the voice, adorable drag in the step, the arm-hugging and the pallor, the scarves and sweaters and multiple layers of clothes, slow drowsy smile: she herself, the dreamy childhood her, was sublimity and disaster, the morphine lollipop I’d chased for all those years.)

But, as the reader of this will have ascertained (if there ever is a reader) the idea of being Dragged Down holds no terror for me. Not that I care to drag anyone else down with me, but—can’t I change? Can’t I be the strong one? Why not?] [You can have either of those girls you want, said Boris, sitting on the sofa with me in his loft in Antwerp, cracking pistachios between his rear molars as we were watching Kill Bill. No, I can’t. And why can’t you? I’d pick Snowflake myself. But if you want the other, why not? Because she has a boyfriend? So? said Boris. Who lives with her? So? And here’s what I’m thinking too: So? What if I go to London? So? And this is either a completely disastrous question or the most sensible one I’ve ever asked in all my life.] [That little guy, said Boris in the car on the way to Antwerp. You know the painter saw him—he wasn’t painting that bird from his mind, you know? That’s a real little guy, chained up on the wall, there. If I saw him mixed up with dozen other birds all the same kind, I could pick him out, no problem.] And he’s right. So could I. And if I could go back in time I’d clip the chain in a heartbeat and never care a minute that the picture was never painted. To try to make some meaning out of all this seems unbelievably quaint. Maybe I only see a pattern because I’ve been staring too long. But then again, to paraphrase Boris, maybe I see a pattern because it’s there. [Do you ever think about quitting? I asked, during the boring part of It’s a Wonderful Life, the moonlight walk with Donna Reed, when I was in Antwerp watching Boris with spoon and water from an eyedropper, mixing himself what he called a “pop.” Give me a break! My arm hurts! He’d already shown me the bloody skid mark—black at the edges—cutting deep into his bicep. You get shot at Christmas and see if you want to sit around swallowing aspirin! Yeah, but you’re crazy to do it like that. Well—believe it or not—for me not so much a problem. I only do it special occasions. I’ve heard that before. Well, is true! Still a chipper, for now. I’ve known of people chipped three-four years and been ok, long as they kept it down to two-three times a month? That said, Boris added somberly—blue movie light glinting off the teaspoon —I am alcoholic. Damage is done, there. I’m a drunk till I die. If anything kills me—nodding at the Russian Standard bottle on the coffee table—that’ll be it. Say you never shot before? Believe me, I had problems enough the other way. Well, big stigma and fear, I understand. Me—honest, I prefer to sniff most times—clubs, restaurants, out and about, quicker and easier just to duck in men’s room and do a quick bump. This way—always you crave it. On my death bed I will crave it. Better never to pick it up. Although—really very irritating to see some bone head sitting there smoking out of a crack pipe and make some pronouncement about how dirty and unsafe, they would never use a needle, you know? Like they are so much more sensible than you? Why did you start? Why does anyone? My girl left me! Girl at the time. Wanted to be all bad and self-destructive, hah. Got my wish. Jimmy Stewart in his varsity sweater. Silvery moon, quavery voices. Buffalo Gals won’t you come out tonight, come out tonight. So, why not stop then? I said. Why should I? Do I really have to say why? Yeah, but what if I don’t feel like it? If you can stop, why wouldn’t you? Live by the sword, die by the sword, said Boris briskly, hitting the button on his very professional-looking medical tourniquet with his chin as he was pushing up his sleeve.]

And as terrible as this is, I get it. We can’t choose what we want and don’t want and that’s the hard lonely truth. Sometimes we want what we want even if we know it’s going to kill us. We can’t escape who we are. (One thing I’ll have to say for my dad: at least he tried to want the sensible thing—my mother, the briefcase, me—before he completely went berserk and ran away from it.) And as much as I’d like to believe there’s a truth beyond illusion, I’ve come to believe that there’s no truth beyond illusion. Because, between ‘reality’ on the one hand, and the point where the mind strikes reality, there’s a middle zone, a rainbow edge where beauty comes into being, where two very different surfaces mingle and blur to provide what life does not: and this is the space where all art exists, and all magic. And—I would argue as well—all love. Or, perhaps more accurately, this middle zone illustrates the fundamental discrepancy of love. Viewed close: a freckled hand against a black coat, an origami frog tipped over on its side. Step away, and the illusion snaps in again: life-more-than-life, never-dying. Pippa herself is the play between those things, both love and not-love, there and not-there. Photographs on the wall, a balled-up sock under the sofa. The moment where I reached to brush a piece of fluff from her hair and she laughed and ducked at my touch. And just as music is the space between notes, just as the stars are beautiful because of the space between them, just as the sun strikes raindrops at a certain angle and throws a prism of color across the sky—so the space where I exist, and want to keep existing, and to be quite frank I hope I die in, is exactly this middle distance: where despair struck pure otherness and created something sublime.

And that’s why I’ve chosen to write these pages as I’ve written them. For only by stepping into the middle zone, the polychrome edge between truth and untruth, is it tolerable to be here and writing this at all. Whatever teaches us to talk to ourselves is important: whatever teaches us to sing ourselves out of despair. But the painting has also taught me that we can speak to each other across time. And I feel I have something very serious and urgent to say to you, my non-existent reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you. That life—whatever else it is—is short. That fate is cruel but maybe not random. That Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn’t mean we have to bow and grovel to it. That maybe even if we’re not always so glad to be here, it’s our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts open. And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn’t touch. For if disaster and oblivion have followed this painting down through time—so too has love. Insofar as it is immortal (and it is) I have a small, bright, immutable part in that immortality. It exists; and it keeps on existing. And I add my own love to the history of people who have loved beautiful things, and looked out for them, and pulled them from the fire, and sought them when they were lost, and tried to preserve them and save them while passing them along literally from hand to hand, singing out brilliantly from the wreck of time to the next generation of lovers, and the next.

[theforce]

presumptive horrible rotten case of corona: symptoms

presumptive bc i couldnt get a god damn test i live in new york and while there are testing sites all over the state and our state govt is doing what they can now, i don’t want to be the person taking away a test from someone else especially now that i am mostly better, most of this went down at the beginning of the month and i’m still dealing with the effects of it. 

there was a lot of confusion here even as recent as 2 weeks and we are the state that’s testing more than the rest of the entire country so here is my account of what went down w me, and honestly, what might go down with you or someone you know as soon as this reaches your state

1) i threw up all night long, thought it was a stomach virus, had a lot of stomach issues for like 24 hours, very strange i haven’t had a stomach virus in YEARS since i was a literal child, anyways right before i started puking up my life i developed this weird cough, it felt like it was from my throat, like i was trying to clear it? but it was often and annoying 

2) after my 24 hours of hell i felt feverish and exhausted but i chalked it up to being on the floor of the bathroom all night, exerting my esophagus and body to throw up the devil himself, i tried to sleep it off, i woke up a few hours later in a fog, i was shivering but i was also burning up, i couldn’t tell left from right, up from down, my fever was 100.3, at this point i had my mom call my doctor and make an appointment, she made it for me w the receptionist, everything was fine until 20 minutes later i got a call back from my actual doctor not the receptionist who was like, oh no not you’re not coming here with those symptoms baby and i was like ?? ok cool thanks, she said to keep watching my symptoms, slam some tylenol and if i felt shortness of breath to call or text her personal cell phone and she would get me set up at the nearest hospital i said ok sounds fucked up i mean i didn’t say that bc i was too fucked up to even speak, she also gave my mom instructions to keep me in my room, to not go near me, to give me a designated bathroom, to have food and water delivered to my door, my mom was like u dont gotta tell me twice (she has lupus) during this time my cough become dry and horrible, i could feel my lungs rattle, i would cough so hard and for so long i’d wake from my feverish coma to kneel over my bed and just let loose on the world, it felt like i was drowning, i couldn’t get enough air everything hurt, everything was sore 

3) things continued on like this for 5 straight days, i was literally in and out of consciousness, my fever got up to 102 and my mom said that if it raised at all from there we were going to the fuckin hospital and i was like listen la rona i know u wanna take me out but i havent even ever eaten a krispy kreme donut, please let me survive this i can’t leave this way, in that moment i literally had a fever dream of god herself, i said take this from me and i’ll stop being such a cunt in life. i started slamming hot toddy’s, i’d drink as much water as possible in between the time i wasnt literally trying to expel my lungs by way of my mouth

4) woke up from that whole ordeal drenched in SWEAT from my feet to my head i was soaked, it was gross, at that point i still had a sense of smell so let me tell you my last and final symptom should have kicked in a bit earlier but i checked my temp and it was normal! i didn’t feel like my head was going to explode! but i had new things going on i had a new stuffy/runny nose, my cough was producing some liquid which i proceeded to throw up into a mcdonalds cup i took a shower, i brushed my teeth, i felt like a brand new woman, i had cold like symptoms but i can live with cold like symptoms, i had an appetite for the first time in a week, felt like i could eat my whole family out of house and home given the opportunity, i’d lost 20 pounds in less than 2 weeks and ya girl was honestly, looking good but THAT’S A BAD WAY OF THINKING disregard please thank you, at this point i went into my doctor with a full on mask, gloves, hair pulled back, she gave me every test you can think of, most importantly a flu test which is all she could do since getting a test was impossible at this pint, which of course came back negative 

5) things continued like this for weeks, up until right now actually, exhaustion was gone, fever gone, cough still here and there but not like how it was, i’ve put on makeup in my room, i’ve watched every season of law and order svu, i’ve gone on drives in my car just to drive, i’ve tried to keep myself as busy as possible, 3 days ago the strangest, most inexplicable and hopefully last symptom arrived, a complete loss of smell and bc of that taste, i’ve tried smelling candles, essential oils, laundry detergent, canned meat, my brother lit a match with my back turned and asked me what the smell was, i ate extra hot cheetos, raw onions, shot of vinegar, there’s nothing there, i just hope it comes back 

during this time i haven’t been even close to my mother, who has lupus or my sister, who has asthma, i stayed in my room, i’m still in my room actually 14 full days out from the last time i left the house, one month since this whole thing started, i eat in my room, i use a different bathroom than my whole family, everyone talks to me from my door frame besides my little brother who also was sick but recovered super fast, he bleaches the bathroom after i use it, he puts all my food on single use plates, he brings me jugs of water and reminds me of what it’s like to at least talk to another person. 

on a more serious note, i haven’t touched another person in 20 days nobody has even been within 6 feet of me besides my doctor who was administering the only tests she could administer, fully decked out in a hazmat suit, she was scared for me, i could tell, she was trying to put on a brave face and downplay the severity of my symptoms but thank god for her, she’s checked up on me, she’s tried everything, she’s put in calls, she’s made herself as available as possible even though she’s probably going through the same thing with countless other patients, i worry for her, i’ve worried for my family, i’ve stressed beyond the point of no return which has for sure slowed my recovery and i was one of the lucky ones! all of this and my case was considered mild because i never really had trouble breathing beyond being choked by my own coughing. 

people have been there for me during all of this, in ways that are further reaching than touch, i have been very vocal about not liking when people touch me but i do look forward to the day i can hug my mom, where i can tell my friend to take a sip of my drink to see if she likes it, to have someone pat me on the shoulder and tell me to keep my head up or whatever 

hopefully im on the other side of this, my more at risk family members are about to be 14 days from the last time any of them were near me or my brother, they’re at the end of a long tunnel and i’m just so happy that maybe soon we’ll all see the light 

take care of yourselves

[quaalussy]

Dreamboy Episode 7: The Rally

Hi I’m back with another Dreamboy transcript, this is a great episode! Sorry for any mistakes I might have made.  Also: if you’re looking to hire a transcriptionist for your podcast or anything else please feel free to shoot me a message, I’m always looking for work!

LITTLE KIDS [sung]

She won’t be able to run in the grass

She won’t be able to lay in the sun 

She won’t say hi to the people who pass

She won’t see hi to anyone

She won’t be able to love or dream or anything else that we said 

Cause zebras can’t do anything after they are dead

[CROWD CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

DIANA

Thank you! Thank you! Keep it going for Ms. Hernandez’s second-grade class from Pepper Heights Elementary, with the shockingly accurate little ditty that they wrote! Wow! Thank you, kiddies. Now don’t let your energies flag, kids. Everyone, I know it’s getting late, I know we’re tired and scared and wondering whether this is all gonna lead up to anything useful, but it is. We’re gonna stay here and we’re gonna.. we’re gonna keep our feet planted on the ground until our demands are met. I, Diana Greasefire, am determined to have our voices heard. I will stay here with my zebra striped sleeping bag and my zebra striped mask, and I will sleep here until I get answers. Alright come on how’re we, how’re we doing out there?

[CROWD CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

DIANA Good? 

[CROWD CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

DIANA Oh, I can’t hear you.

[CROWD CHEERING AND CLAPPING LOUDER]

DIANA Yeah? What do we say?

CROWD

SAVE ZOE!

DIANA What do we say?

CROWD SAVE ZOE!

DIANA WHAT DO WE SAY?

CROWD 

SAVE ZOE!

[CROWD CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

DIANA That’s right. Now, we have a long night of rallying ahead so have some coffee. It’s free over at that table, donated by the lovely folks down at Settler’s Coffee. 

[SMALL GROUP CHEERS]

DIANA

I tell you this little sexy zebra print number has served me well the last few weeks down at The Hussy, but if I’m honest, now that I'm outside in this cooler October night air, I just wish there were a little bit more of it. But then again, how else am I gonna get Mr. Kritch to come out and talk to us?

[CROWD BOOS]

DIANA We know you’re in there, Kritchy! We know you ain’t leaving anytime soon, cause your car is currently surrounded by morbid second-graders. 

DIANA [to child]

Go on sweetie, yeah you can stand on the car, jump up and down.

DIANA [to crowd]

Okay. so, I'm gonna bring up my co-host, you may know her from other animal activism activities. She is currently working to educate uhhh people about uhh, hang on I have to read this part. “The effect of deforestation on the delicate symbiotic evolutionary relationship between the Madagascar Honey Orchid and the Madagascar Honey Wasp, its only known pollinator.” Well, that’s a mouthful. Anyway, please welcome to the stage Carol Buxtrom!

[CROWD CHEERS AND CLAPS]

CAROL

Thanks, Diana. Uh, you look really good. [clears throat] Whoa, okay. All of you out there you all are really rad to show up for a cause like this. When I think about this issue, I just get so worked up and angry, and I didn't trust myself to not get all emotional up here, so I wrote it down. So I’m just gonna read this and try to, you know, stay calm and Carol on. Okay, here goes. [clears throat] Last summer on August 29th, just after one A.M., a scared and defenseless wild animal had its space violated by an intruder, and in a split second reaction of fear, defended itself to the best of its ability. The intruder was a boy named Ian Harris, and he was killed. Our hearts go out to his family, but that wild animal is a zebra named Zoe that has spent nearly sixteen years interacting with the publics here at Pepper Heights with no incidents. Tomorrow morning, Judge Elizabeth Gardner [sobs] is set to. Sorry. [sobs]

[CROWD CHEERS]

CAROL

Is set to announce her decision about the euthanization of Zoe the zebra. She could very well decide to end Zoe’s life based on incidents that were not at all her fault, but we still have tonight to let her know how Pepper Heights really feels, so let’s be a loud voice in her ear. Everybody: 

[CROWD CHEERS]

CAROL

Get out your phones and tweet: #SaveZoe at Judge Elizabeth Gardner. Go ahead, everybody, do it now. Or you could email too, judgeegardner@hotmail.com. 

DIANA

Hotmail? Oh my god. Can I hear some of her songs on Myspace? [laughs]

CAROL

While you guys do that, I wanted to read some uhh zebra facts to you that you might not know. Uhhh, okay. Zoe the zebra’s latin name is Equus quagga. 

[CROWD CHEERS]

CAROL When zebras stay in groups, their stripes confuse the eyes of would-be predators, making it hard to single out an individual. The stripes of each zebra are unique, like...

DANE [to listener]

The all-night rally. I totally forgot it was tonight. It’s fucking going strong now too in the parking lot. Jesus, like everybody from Pepper Heights is here. I’m just wandering through the crowd, everybody all around me in their zebra shirts with their “SAVE ZOE” signs, and my head is killing me because I haven’t eaten like anything all day, and I just got escorted out of my work place by Sheila fucking Panzarelli and then told to wait here by a fucking twelve year old. Which, I was so out of it that I actually did for a minute before I was like “what the fuck am I doing?” Also, why the fuck is Sheila doing security sweeps? [sighs]. I should probably just go home. Hey, I know that guy from the coffee shop. Wait, maybe they have free food here. The crowd is starting to get very bored of the wasp lady’s zebra facts. 

CAROL Zebras are not horses, people.

DANE I see Luke looking down at his phone on the side of the crowd. He looks up, and for some reason I do that thing where I act like I don’t see him, and I think I’ll just look back in a couple of seconds and casually see him, but when I look back he’s walking away, like maybe he didn’t see me the first time? So I start to thread through the crowd to follow him, but I keep losing sight of him, and the boring science channel stuff on stage apparently signaled bathroom and coffee break to everyone, so they’re all moving around. And all of them are wearing zebra stripes so they all blend together, like, my eyes hurt. Where the fuck did he go? I think- there, there. No. there! No. I literally feel like a starving lion trying to pick a meal out of the black and white swirl. Jesus, this really works, good job nature. So I start moving quicker through the crowd, and I think I'm turned around, I'm going to the middle again? People are really starting to jostle me now. The murmurs have turned into full on talking, like no one’s even pretending to pay attention to the stage, which is somewhere behind me at this point. There! I see him again. He’s just fifteen feet from me, facing the other way.

DANE [to crowd]

Excuse me, excuse me, sorry, sorry.

DANE [to listener]

I bump into some teenage boys, I pass a  family, almost tripping over a stroller. Finally I get up to him, and I reach up and tap his shoulder.

DANE [to boy]

Luke. 

DANE [to listener]

He turns around, but it’s not Luke. it’s just another boy. 

DANE [to boy]

Oh, s-sorry. No I just… I thought you were someone else. 

DANE [to listener]

I turn back towards the stage. It’s just a sea of writhing zebra stripes. Then someone taps my arm. I turn around quick, but I don't see anyone. Wait, it’s a kid. Like, seven years old maybe? Standing there and looking up at me. 

DANE [to kid]

Hey. Do you need help?

DANE [to listener]

He hands me a flier. I take it and look at it, but it’s not a “SAVE ZOE” flier. It just says “#WHATABOUTIAN” in big, bold type. I look back up at him, but he’s already running back out of the crowd. And then he disappears into a smaller crowd at the side of the rally that I hadn't noticed before. They’re counter-protestors. Some of them have signs that say the same thing: “#WHATABOUTIAN”, and others have signs that have two pictures side by side on them. The first picture is Ian as a little kid, smiling and playing in the grass, but the second picture is the police photo of when they found his dead body. Wow, it’s intense.

CAROL 

A group of zebras is referred to as a herd, dazzle, or a zeal. Ha! which is totally neat. Of course, Zoe is a single zebra which is, you know, just called a zebra. Umm-

DIANA

Ok, Carol, thank you. 

[LIGHT APPLAUSE]

DIANA

Let’s do more facts later.

CAROL Oh, Okay. Anyone who has questions can talk to me later.

DIANA Okay! [sighs] Okay Kritchy, you coward! I am standing here in my zebra striped dress with my zebra striped sleeping bag, in case this goes long, and my thermos of hot toddies and my zebra slippers, and I am waiting for you to get up the courage to come out here and look me in my face. What do we say, everyone?

CROWD SAVE ZOE!

DIANA What do we say?

CROWD SAVE ZOE!

DIANA

That’s right!

[CROWD CHEERS AND CLAPS]

DIANA

I think we should try to enchant Mr. Kritch out to talk to us with a little song. 

[ACOUSTIC GUITAR CHORD]

DIANA What do you say, everybody? You wanna sing together with me? Come on, you ready? Here. 

[BEGINS TO PLAY GUITAR]

DIANA I’ll start us off.

[GUITAR INTRO]

DIANA [sung]

We shall overcome

We shall overcome

We shall overcome someday 

PERSON IN CROWD I love you Diana!!

[CROWD CHEERS AND CLAPS]

DIANA [sung]

Deep in my heart

I do believe

We shall overcome someday

DIANA

We’ll walk hand in hand!

CROWD [sung]

We’ll walk hand in hand 

We’ll walk hand in hand

We’ll walk hand in hand someday

[SONG CONTINUES UNDER THE FOLLOWING]

DANE [to listener] I swear I just heard Luke’s voice. Like, close by. I look around, but I don't see him. Then, a huge zebra striped balloon floats by, and I look. I watch it pass, and then Luke is right there, just ten feet from me. He sees me too. He doesn’t seem surprised, though. I walk up to him slowly, and he puts his phone in his pocket and straightens up. As I get closer I can see his face. It’s sort of a mix of shy and embarrassed and glad and pouty all at the same time. 

LUKE Hey. 

DANE Hey.

LUKE

What’s up?

DANE Nothing, what’s up with you?

LUKE Nothing. 

DANE AND LUKE

[unintelligible]

[BOTH LAUGH]

LUKE Yeah, so look, I just um, you know-

JENNIFER

There you are, jesus! Why didn’t you stay over there?

DANE

Fuck, Jennifer! Because I'm not your poodle. Like, for being an anti-fascist you really are-

JENNIFER We don’t have time for this.

DANE [to listener]

The twins, Merryl and Sherryl, walk up behind her. Jennifer looks anxious. She looks down at her watch and then scans the crowd. Luke looks at all of us with a wrinkled expression.

LUKE 

What are you guys doing?

DANE We are doing nothing. I don’t know what she’s doing

DANE [to listener]

For once, Jennifer doesn’t look angry or mean or smug, she almost looks like a kid. She gets closer to me, looks right at me.

JENNIFER

They are keeping an animal I love in the dark alone in there, and it’s killing her. Tonight, I’m gonna go get her out of that dark. 

DANE That’s, like, literally what happens at any zoo.

JENNIFER Exactly! They’re all animal jails. 

LUKE So you wanna jailbreak Zoe? You’re a little badass. 

JENNIFER Yes, but...

DANE [to listener]

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, then lets it out and opens them and looks at me JENNIFER

I need your help.

DANE [to Jennifer] What are you talking about, you’re crazy. Like, you’re twelve years old, what the fuck are you planning on doing?

JENNIFER First, I’m almost thirteen. Second, growing up is a myth. And third-

DANE [to listener]

She looks back at the twins, standing on either side of her, and then back to me with a weird smile

JENNIFER We have a plan. 

DANE [to listener]

Then she sees something to her left behind me, and her eyes go wide and her face gets serious

JENNIFER Oh no. He’s early. 

DANE [to listener]

I turn around and follow her stare. On the back edge of the parking lot, far from the crowd, there’s a utility truck parked under a light pole, and a man in a bucket on a crane coming up from the truck, and the bucket is rising. It gets to the top and then stops. 

JENNIFER Okay, okay, it’s go time. Merryl, Sherryl, stay on the time markers no matter what? Got it?

TWIN 1

Got it.

TWIN 2

Uh, okay.

DANE [to JENNIFER]

What is going on?

JENNIFER No more time.

DANE [to listener]

She looks at me and Luke.

JENNIFER

You in or out?

DANE I don’t… I don’t even know what you’re talking about, like in what? 

DANE [to listener]

Her face looks strange.

JENNIFER Please.

DANE [to Jennifer]

Please what?!

DANE [to listener]

The power goes out, the lights on the stage and everything. The crowd stops singing and everyone starts shuffling and murmuring, slowly starting to panic. People start yelling for their kids. The only light is from the billboard for the exhibit way at the other end of the parking lot. Luke steps forward and looks at Jennifer. 

LUKE We’re in. 

DANE [to listener]

I look at Luke. he won’t even look back at me.

JENNIFER Great. Follow us. 

DANE [to listener]

She takes off through the crowd, the twins just behind her. I keep looking at Luke, but he just takes off after them. 

[SILENCE]

Jennifer, the twins, and Luke are all standing in front of a hole dug under the fence in front of the zoo. Right as I walk up, Jennifer kneels down and starts to go under the fence. I look around, but nobody sees her, everyone's just scrambling in the dark and paying no attention. The power going out was a classic diversion. Did she plan all this? Like, what organization are they a part of, the CIA for kids? Jennifer goes through the hole, then the twins, and then Luke. [sighs] I look around one more time. Fuck. [sighs] I follow them through. [panting] I get up and brush myself off, and then I go over to where they’re at, in the shadows against the souvenir stands and ticket booths. 

[DREAMBOY SONG PLAYS IN BACKGROUND]

DANE [to group]

Guys! Am I the only one worried about getting caught? Like, what about the security guards? Or Kritch, Sheila.

JENNIFER Kritch is watching the livestream of the rally in his office, I bet you fifty bucks, and the security guards follow the same routine every single night. Three guards, three booths, they rotate between the three booths every thirty minutes.

DANE [to listener]

She looks down at her watch. 

JENNIFER We have another twenty-five minutes before the next rotation.

DANE [to Jennifer] What about Sheila? Like, she’s the scariest one.

DANE [to listener]

Jennifer considers the question. 

JENNIFER

She is sort of a wild card. But it’s a risk we will have to take. The good news is, she’s not exactly good at being covert. Everybody just look out for a wheezy, cussing thing with a lightsaber flashlight.

DANE [to Jennifer]

Look, this isn’t just about getting banned from the zoo or me getting fired, like we could all get arrested. On serious charges! Which is a big deal if you’re not a little kid. 

DANE [to listener]

Luke still isn’t looking at me. 

LUKE

It’s weird they leave the music on all night. 

TWIN 

It’s for the animals. 

JENNIFER

Okay, let’s go. 

DANE [to listener]

Jennifer runs off into the shadows, weaving between food stands, pausing whenever she can, looking at her watch. God, it’s like she was made for this. Her legs flick in and out of the dim light, and the twins are in lock step right behind her, and Luke is right behind them, his legs almost as quick, and I'm following with legs… legs of a person that doesn’t wanna get arrested. 

[CICADA NOISES]

DANE [to listener]

[sighs] The twins are whispering things to us like little tour guides

TWIN 1 Over there’s the rides.

TWIN 2

And the Candy Clown

LUKE

[sighs] I used to hate the Candy Clown. 

JENNIFER

Come on!

DANE [to listener] Jennifer’s moving like a little Navy SEAL, doing that thing where she points at her eyes then points ahead. 

TWIN 1

There’s the swan. 

DANE [to listener]

The other twin points to a single white swan next to the pond. It looks blue in the night, its head is hidden in its wings. I stop. There’s an information kiosk in front of us, but there’s a movement inside. 

DANE [to group]

Guys, wait. There’s someone inside that booth.

DANE [to listener]

The twins both look back and smile.

TWIN 1 Lost and found.

TWIN 2

All the phones. 

DANE [to twins] Oh, jesus. Okay. 

DANE [to listener]

I look in the window as we pass it. There’s a cardboard box full of phones. A lot of them are dead, but some are flickering with messages. “Where are you?” “Are you mad at me?” “Hey.” 

JENNIFER Come on!

DANE [to listener]

We round another food stand, walk along this low wall for a few seconds, and then I see it. 

TWIN

The animal gate.

DANE [to listener]

There’s this tall, decorative iron gate set into a high stone wall that separates the animal exhibits from the rides and food and stuff. It’s this overwhelming, intricate scene of animals all sculpted with wrought iron, their bodies all twisting around each other and their faces all looking up. It’s like a gothic mural but with metal animals, but I’ve never actually really looked at it cause it’s swung open when the zoo is open. Now that I see it, it’s really beautiful. Luke slowly walks forward and looks up at the gate.

LUKE Oh my god. I remember when I was a kid, getting here early enough to see them open the animal gate was like the most magical thing, and then once we got inside my mom and I would always do the same exact thing every time: chocolate ice cream cone with a hard dipped shell and then visit Zoe. I remember her being almost close enough to touch, it’s like so weird to think that-

[JENNIFER GRUNTING]

DANE [to listener]

I look over off to the side of the gate. Jennifer’s trying to unlatch the huge metal bar attached to the stone wall. 

[JENNIFER GRUNTING LOUDER]

DANE [to Jennifer]

Mmm, need help? DANE [to listener]

Then the latch comes loose and the gate swings free with a loud deep groan.

[GATE CREAKING, JENNIFER PANTING]

DANE [to group]

Wow, lotta good that does keeping people out.

DANE [to listener] Jennifer steps back onto the path and brushes her clothes off, a little out of breath.

JENNIFER

It’s not meant to keep us out, it’s meant to keep them in. 

DANE [to listener]

Then she walks through the gate; the twins follow. Luke goes through behind them but stops when he sees I'm not following. He turns around and looks at me, for the first time since the parking lot. 

LUKE You coming?

DANE

[sighs] I don’t know. What if I say no?

DANE [to listener]

He walks up to me. His face is really soft and sweet, and he doesn’t look mad at all, like does he not know he didn’t text me all day long and like left me hanging? Like, what the fuck is he thinking?

LUKE

Are you really gonna say no?

DANE [to listener]

He reaches out and grabs my hand. My body twitches like an electromagnet.

[TWINKLY MUSIC]

DANE [to listener]

The animal section of the zoo is dark except for a few random bluish-white lights that make everything look dead and icy. Luke is still holding my hand. 

LUKE These lights are weird. Also, isn’t the power out? Like- 

JENNIFER Those are emergency lights. Backup generator, only essential systems.

DANE [to listener] She keeps her eyes ahead as she talks. And all three of them, the not girl scouts, are walking in front of me and Luke at that specific speed of children that want you to know that they know where they’re going and that they’re not afraid. And Jennifer starts whispering things too and pointing. It’s like all three of them have the whole history of this place memorized, but I can’t quite pay attention because all I can think about is Luke’s hand. 

JENNIFER

That’s the creepy-crawlies building. My dad says that it’s just an old shed they like infested with bugs, and it’s a crime that they make people pay to see it. TWIN

That’s the parrot William something. He’s old. He talks but he just says numbers.

JENNIFER

There’s the lion and tigers and bears exhibit. A lion, a tiger, and bear that used to be movie animals. The tiger’s been dead for years, though.

TWIN 

So now it’s just a lion and a bear. 

DANE [to listener]

I’m trying not to look at Luke, but there’s this feeling between our arms. It’s like a buzzing. 

TWIN There’s the new exhibit. They’ve been digging holes over there for months now.

DANE [to listener]

There’s a low wooden barricade in front of the new exhibit with a sign that says “coming soon” on it and another sign that’s half ripped down that says “Forgotten Sea”. The buzzing feeling surges. We both yank our hands away. 

TWIN That’s a bathroom. 

DANE [to listener]

I hear a tarp snapping in the wind somewhere over in the dark of the new exhibit. Something in my body turns over. Then I hear music. Opera. 

[OPERA PLAYING FAINTLY]

JENNIFER That’s Madam Beauregard’s radio. She has to listen to music when she sleeps or she has nightmares. She used to be a NASA flight test chimp, and she went to space once, but she came back crazy. Then she lived in the swampy part of Florida where some man made her do this sideshow act on the side of the road.

TWIN

Made her wear a nightgown and read a paper and drink coffee

JENNIFER Yeah, but he actually gave her real coffee, so she got addicted. Now she has to have coffee right when she wakes up or she goes insane. 

LUKE Wow. How did I not know any of this stuff? 

DANE [to listener]

We come around a curve where the main path sort of narrows and then ends at this long iron fence. Just darkness beyond. Jennifer walks up to the fence and stops. 

JENNIFER Zoe’s exhibit. Or, used to be. 

DANE [to Jennifer]

I mean they still let her outside a little bit, way far back there so people at least can still see her.

DANE [to listener]

Jennifer looks at me with a pathetic look. Then she hops up and starts to climb the fence.

DANE [to Jennifer]

What the fuck are you doing?

DANE [to listener] In no time she’s over and standing in the artificial savannah, looking back at us. 

JENNIFER Come on.

DANE [to listener]

The twins go over. Then Luke. I'm starting to sense a pattern here, so I put my foot on the fence, but it immediately slips, and I hit my knee hard, and I fall a little bit, and I do that thing where it hurts so bad that you just hold it and rock back and forth while everyone waits. [grunts, breathes deeply, sighs] I try again. I really don’t know if I can do this. Jennifer’s trying to coach me, but it’s just annoying. 

JENNIFER

Ughh, just put your foot on the wall.

DANE [to Jennifer]

Yeah. JENNIFER Put your other foot on the fence. Now grab the- No no no.

DANE [to Jennifer[

What?

JENNIFER

Hold on with both hands and kind of swing your hip, yeah. Swing your hips. Okay, no, like that but do it better.

DANE [to Jennifer]

I’m trying.

JENNIFER

Just swing your hips, yeah, now pull- pull yourself, now pull yourself, okay.

[DANE GRUNTING]

JENNIFER

Okay, there it is.

DANE

Goddamn.

DANE [to listener]

I finally make it over and land with a grunt in the dirt. [groans]

TWIN 

This is the spot where the Harris boy climbed in.

DANE [to listener]

The twin is looking right at me, then she points to a spot on the ground by the wall.

TWIN 

And that’s where he died.

DANE

Whoa. 

DANE [to listener]

I look at the spot. I think about the picture I saw on those signs in the parking lot.

JENNIFER

He wouldn’t have died if it weren’t for toxic masculine peer pressure. 

DANE

What? TWIN

It’s a tradition for high school boys to break in here at night and touch Zoe. 

DANE

But he was like eleven.

JENNIFER

Exactly. He heard about his older brothers doing it and wanted to be cool like them. Stupid boy stuff. 

DANE Exactly. Stupid. And here we are doing the exact same thing, like-

JENNIFER Trust me, I have a plan. 

DANE [to listener]

I look down at the spot on the ground again. I think I can still see blood stains, but it’s so dark I can't be sure.

JENNIFER

Now, let's go!

DANE [to listener]

We tip-toe through Zoe’s artificial environment. It’s made to resemble a rocky outcrop in an African savannah, so what look like rocks from the front are actually just plastic and hollow in the back. But, I mean, I guess this savannah wasn’t made for Zoe anyway. 

JENNIFER

[breathes deeply] Okay. This is it. Where’s your keys?

DANE [to listener]

There’s a door. It’s made to look like stone. 

DANE [to Jennifer]

That’s the help you needed? My keys? I told you I only have keys to the ride building and the broom closet, that’s it, those two. So looks like we’re all just gonna go home, good plan. 

LUKE

Wait, we’re not actually gonna go inside-inside are we?

DANE 

No we’re not, not without keys. 

DANE [to listener]

Jennifer walks up and looks at me and slams her brow down over her eyes.

JENNIFER

Listen: come in or not, I don’t care, but I’ve been planning tonight for months, and all I need is to get through that door, and then you can go. After that door is open, I don't care where you go. 

DANE [to Jennifer]

Yeah right, and let you just get killed by a murderous zebra? They’d put me in jail for letting you in, stupid. 

JENNIFER

I told you already, Zoe died months ago. Give me the keys and I'll show you. 

LUKE Wait, what?

DANE

These keys? 

DANE [to listener]

I take my keys from my pocket, and I throw them at her feet. 

DANE [to Jennifer]

Go ahead, try them. I told you they don’t fucking go to these doors, so have at it.

DANE [to listener]

Jennifer grabs the keys from the ground, walks over to the door, and sticks them in. The broom closet one immediately works. The door swings open. She yanks my keys from the knob and throws them back at my feet. Then she snears at me and disappears into the dark. The twins follow. [sighs] I don’t understand. Like… I don’t understand. 

LUKE

Zoe’s dead?

DANE [to listener] 

I’m still looking at the dark of the doorway where Jennifer and the twins disappeared. Almost talking to myself. 

DANE [to Luke]

I... who knows? I don’t know. She could be, I guess.

LUKE

Zoe’s dead.

DANE [to listener] I hear something edging in Luke’s voice. I look over at him. He’s looking down. His eyes are distant. 

DANE Well, we don’t know that yet.

DANE

He kneels down quickly and starts to pick up pieces of gravel just to have something to do with his hands, it looks like. The whole time, he’s looking off in the distance. I walk up to him slowly and kneel down beside him. His lip is trembling. He can’t look at me. I wait a few seconds, unsure of what to do, and then I reach out and put my hand on his shoulder.

DANE [to Luke]

Hey…

DANE [to listener]

But as soon as I touch him, he just start sobbing like he can’t hold it back anymore 

[LUKE SOBBING]

DANE

And he falls into me, and he wraps his arms around my torso and cries onto my neck. I feel the wetness on my skin. It feels weirdly good that he’s crying on me, and then I feel weird that it feels good. 

DANE [to Luke]

Hey buddy, you’re okay, you’re okay.

[LUKE BREATHING DEEPLY]

DANE [to listener]

After a bit, his rhythm slowly evens out, and his fingers unclench from my shirt in the back, and he buries his face in my neck and just breathes. I breathe too. Our breathing is lining up. 

[DANE AND LUKE BREATHE]

DANE

We both pull away, and get to our feet. We don’t really look at each other. Instead, our eyes fall on the open doorway. 

LUKE

We have to go in there. We have to make sure they don’t get hurt.

DANE 

[groans]

LUKE [sighs] Yeah, I know.

DANE 

The darkness in the doorway seems to be looking back at us like a giant eye socket. I don’t wanna go in there. But I know whatever’s going on with this zoo and this zebra is weird. I mean, everything about this place is weird, but I just feel like the answer’s... the answer’s through that door. 

[DISTANT SCREAM]

[DREAMBOY THEME PLAYS]

ELLIE HAYMEN

Dreamboy is co-created by Dane Terry and Ellie Haymen. Developed and directed by Ellie Haymen. Written, composed, and performed by Dane Terry, featuring Michael Cavadias, Dito Van Reigersberg, Renata Friedman, Morgan Meadows, Avery Draut, Gianna Masi, Alice Tolan-Mee, Somerset Thompson, and Jake Sellers Sound Designed, Engineered, Mixed and Mastered by Chris Weingarten at Bananappeal Studio. Edited by Alexander Charles Adams. Creative Producer and Assistant Director: Ashlin Hatch. Associate producer: Adam Cecil. Executive Producer: Christy Gressman. A very special thanks to Night Vale Presents. You can find us on Twitter and Instagram @dreamboypodcast. For more info and for merch check out dreamboypodcast.com.

[toddysdiaries]

Family Ties - Jeff Wittek x Reader

((GIF IS NOT MINE))

Pairing: Jeff Wittek x Reader, Toddy Smith x sister!Reader

Requested?: yes, by anon:

‘Being toddy’s sister and intressed in Jeff but you are both to scared!!’

Summary: You’re Toddy’s sister and you and Jeff are in love with each other, but Toddy’s protectiveness leaves the pair of you unable to be together.

Words: 2,707

Warnings: angst, couple of swears, mention of previous domestic violence (mostly mental rather than physical), Toddy being a bit of an asshole

A/N: Requests are open! I am definitely willing to write a part two for this, let me know if you want it!

Being Toddy’s sister had always been hard. In high school, you were always expected to live up to Toddy, who was sporty and funny, but in reality, you were neither. Teachers prejudged you, thinking you’d mess around like Toddy did and underestimating your academic abilities. Girls would laugh at you, wondering how someone like you came from the same parents that created someone as gorgeous as Toddy.

Toddy had also been the cause of your singleness throughout high school. Any guy that dared to get beat you ended up being chased away by him. In the end, you learnt to be sneaky about your dates, getting your friends to cover with fake study sessions and making out under the bleachers and away from your brother's watchful eyes.

If you were being honest, you were glad when Toddy moved away. Even though he was only an hour away in Los Angeles, you finally had the space to breathe and grow. You died your hair and got the nose piercing you always want, and you spent more time at the beach, flirting with topless guys and tanning.

Eventually, you settled into a long-term relationship, and it wasn’t for a few months that you saw your boyfriend for who he really was. At first glance, Jacob seemed like a sweet, charming man, but in reality, he was a controlling, manipulative man-child, who never let you do anything on your own or go anywhere without knowing where you were going. That was when you realised that Toddy was nothing but protective of you.

Your relationship culminated in a fight when you had genuinely been scared for your life. Jacob had thrown glasses, plates and anything that he could get his hands on at you. When he'd pushed you up against the wall, you'd managed to push him off of you, and you ran out the house, managing to grab your keys from the bowl next to the door and drove away and didn't stop driving until you reached your parent's house.

Since it was the first time that it had been this bad you weren't willing to call the police, you just wanted out of Huntington Beach. Your father had called Toddy, while your mother comforted you. You were shaking like a leaf, just glad that you hadn't moved in with your boyfriend - ex-boyfriend - and he'd never shown any interest in meeting your family.

"You're going to go and stay with Toddy for a while." Your father came back into the room and knelt down in front of you. "You've got some things here, take them with you. I'm going to wait a few days and then take everything from your apartment up to you. We're going to leave now." You nodded, still shaking like a leaf. Luckily you worked for an online gossip website, so you usually worked from home anyway.

You had only just managed to calm down when your dad pulled up to a house that Toddy definitely didn't own. "It's his friend's house, you're going to meet them all anyway. He's filming today, I didn't think it was right to tell him over the phone, you know he'd just work himself up over it."

That was definitely true, but you didn't want to have to watch Toddy blow up in front of you after Jacob had. "Can-can you tell him? Maybe without me there?"

Your dad held your hand. "Of course, sweetheart. Of course, Toddy is going to be upset, you're his little sister." You nodded, Toddy had always been very protective of you. "He'd never hurt you, you know that."

You followed behind your dad like a lost puppy, surprised at the house that you were seeing. You looked up as the door opened, a gorgeous bearded man opened the door. "Oh, you must be Toddy's dad and sister." He grinned at you, and you felt your inside's turn to goo and then promptly scolded yourself, you'd just gotten out of a shitty relationship, and this guy was one of Toddy's friends, there's no chance he would ever let you date him. "Come on in."

The good looking guy led you through the lavish house, that shocked you a little more the further in you got. Eventually, you came to a living room and was a little shocked at how many people there were.

"Todd, your dad and sister are here." The good looking guy threw himself down on the couch and Todd came in from the kitchen.

"Dad! Y/N!" Todd ran over to the pair of you. "What's going on, why do you need to stay with me, Y/N?"

Your dad cleared his throat. "I need to talk to you in private Todd."

"Take him to the podcast room." A younger man with messy brown hair told him.

Toddy nodded. "Okay, guys this is Y/N, make her welcome while I go talk to my dad!"

Two girls wandered straight up to you, one was short with bleached blonde hair, and the other was much taller with brown, dip-dyed hair. "I'm Carly, and this is Erin."

"It's nice to meet you guys." You weren't sure that you were going to fit in very well with these people, they all seemed to have big personalities, and you'd never stood out very well.

"Come sit with us!" Erin smiled and held her hand out to you. You tentatively took it and followed the girls over to the couches. "These guys are Zane and Matt." Erin and Carly introduced you to all the people that were in the living room, you felt a little overwhelmed, you had never really had that many friends before.

"So, what are you doing in Los Angeles?" Jeff, the attractive guy that had answered the door, asked you, a slight glint in his eyes.

You hesitated, you were sure that it would all come out at some point, Toddy would probably start yelling about it any second. "Nasty break-up." You settled for, it was kind of true anyway.

Jeff's eyes seemed to glint again at the thought of you being single. He opened his mouth to ask you something else when Todd came storming in.

"Tell me the piece of shit's name, tell me where he lives. I'm gonna beat the shit out of him Y/N, I swear to god!" Toddy leant down in front of you, his voice raised, you flinched back against the couch, slightly.

"Todd!" Your dad had come in behind Todd. "I told you not to raise your voice, you're going to scare the shit out of her."

A small hand slipped into yours, and you knew without turning that it was Carly. "Todd if you go looking for him, he will find me. You have to let it go. I just want to move on." Your voice was quiet and shaky, but it was very much audible over the silence of the room.

"He hurt you, Y/N! You can't just let him get away with it!" Todd yelled. Jeff and David, who you learnt owned the house you were in, jumped up and gripped one of Toddy's shoulders each.

"You're scaring her man." Jeff's Staten Island accent rang out.

Toddy scoffed. "I'm not gonna hurt her, him on the other hand..."

"Dude, she's just had a man yelling at her, she doesn't need another right now." David's soft voice spoke.

Toddy hesitated and looked at you, noticing how you were shaking, your hand's grasped between Carly and Erin's, your dad's hand rubbing your shoulder. "Fuck..." Todd dropped to his knees in front of you, gently resting his hands on your knees. "I'm sorry, Y/N/N, you know how much I love you, I've always tried to keep asshole guys away from you."

You chuckled. "I noticed Toddy, you're the reason I didn't have a proper boyfriend until I was 19."

"They were all assholes!" Toddy insisted.

"I wish you were there to warn me off of this one." You frowned deeply.

Toddy nodded sadly. "Would you have listened though?"

Your dad chuckled from behind, and you let out a small chuckle too. "Probably not."

Over the past month, you had gotten to know all of the 'vlog squad', as you learnt that they were known as. You were particularly close with Carly, Erin and Zane. Your interest in Jeff had also blossomed into full-on feelings, but you were well aware that Toddy would never let you date a former convict, something that Jeff was never able to forget around the 'vlog squad' who often joked about his time in jail.

You were well aware that Jeff also had feelings for you, but he had yet to speak to you about them. You hoped that he wouldn't ever bring his feelings up, because it would make things awkward when you told him that although you liked him, you could never be with him.

Toddy had become your overprotective older brother once more. If you went out clubbing or to a party with the rest of the vlog squad, Toddy was watching you the whole time, not even drinking to make sure that he could keep a proper eye on you. You were starting to feel overwhelmed with how closely Toddy watched you, but you were nowhere near ready enough to go back to Huntington Beach, in fact, you were thinking about cancelling your apartment lease and going apartment hunting in L.A.

One day you had just had enough. You had made a new friend at your yoga class, and Toddy didn't want you spending any time with her alone. "Toddy, you need to start giving me room to breathe!" You snapped. "You're acting ridiculously!"

"I'm just trying to protect you, Y/N!" Todd's arms flailed around as he tried to make his point.

"I can protect myself, Toddy!" You screamed back. By this point, you had attracted the attention of the rest of the vlog squad.

Toddy scoffed loudly, letting his flailing hands slap down on his thighs. "You clearly can't make those choices yourself if you ended up with Jacob!"

The room was suddenly loud with collective gasping, the group was in shock that Toddy had actually gone there. Your hand reacted without permission from your head, and you slapped your brother across the face, hard. Toddy's hand flew to the reddened flesh of his cheek, his lips parting in surprise.

"You hit me," Todd mumbled, fingers gently stroking his cheek in disbelief.

You scoffed. "You deserved it, you're a disgusting excuse for a brother, picking on the one thing that you know will break my heart." You collected your belongings together. "Can someone give me a ride back to Huntington Beach?"

A few people immediately said they'd drive you back, but you took up David's offer, thinking he could use the opportunity to get some footage, Jeff trailing after you.

"Y/N, I know you're mad at me, but you can't just go back home, Jacob might find you!" Todd tried to follow you out, but Zane and Scotty had grabbed a shoulder each and held him back.

You practically growled. "It's been a month Toddy, I doubt he's still looking for me, I'll have David and Jeff with me anyway."

If you had been more angry and less clear-headed, then you might have gone much farther and slept with Jeff, just to spite your brother. But that would have really annoyed Toddy, plus you'd be using Jeff and hurting the pair of you.

Much of your car ride back to Huntington Beach was spent in a reasonably comfortable silence until you broke it. "I'm not moving back, I just want to start sorting out what's left in my apartment and cancel out of my apartment lease with my landlord."

You could hear Jeff let out a sigh of relief in the back of the car.

"Are you going to look for an apartment in L.A.?" David piped up next to you, turning the radio down slightly.

"Yeah, most of my stuff is already in Toddy and Jason's house. It's just some kitchen and bathroom stuff that's left, plus the furniture, I'm going to put it in my parent's garage for the time being. But I need a new bed anyway so that can just go down the dump." You shrugged. "I might get new couches too, I'm not sure yet."

David laughed. "We're not going to get everything in my Tesla."

You scoffed. "My dad has a van we can borrow to move the furniture, we'll just load the stuff I'm taking back to L.A. in your Tesla."

Going through everything that was left in your apartment didn't take as long as you thought it would and by the time evening came you were ready to go back to L.A. with the majority of your possessions.  You had gifted your couches to a work friend and had taken your bed to the dump, as well as a lot of random things that you'd forgotten you had or had no use for.

You had spoken to your landlord and cancelled your lease while David and Jeff loaded the Tesla with what you were taking back to L.A. When you went back to your apartment you noticed that all of your boxes had been taken downstairs. You were about to lock the door and take the keys to your landlord when you were stopped by David.

"I really need to pee," David whined, making grabby hands for your keys. "I'll lock up after and drop your keys off."

You handed him the keys and yelled after him, amused as he ran into your apartment. "There's no soap in there!" You said a quick goodbye to your apartment and then went down to wait in the Tesla.

"David caught you then?" Jeff's Staten Island accent met your ears as you got into the car.

Nodding, you dropped your bag in the footwell and did up your seatbelt. "Just about."

There was a slight pause, and then Jeff spoke again. "Y/N, I need to talk to you about something."

You froze, crap, he was going to do it right now. "No, you don't Jeff. Somethings are better off left unsaid." You told him firmly.

"No, I need to tell you." Jeff insisted, leaning forward between the gap in the two front seats.

"Jeff, it'll change everything." You whispered, eyes flickering over Jeff's beautiful face. "You know this can't happen, we can't happen."

Jeff's face dropped. "But why?"

Shaking your head, you scoffed. "Because of Toddy. He's way too overprotective, I know you're his friend, but there is still no way he'd ever give his blessing on me dating you."

"He doesn't have to, Y/N!" Jeff protested, hand coming out to cup your cheek.

"He does, Jeff. Because then you'd stop being friends with him and everyone else because of it and I'd fall out with my brother." You let out a deep breath. "Neither of us wants that, Jeff."

Jeff seemed defeated and frowned deeply. "But you do like me, right? This isn't just one-sided?"

A stray tear dripped down your cheek, and you made no move to wipe it away. "Of course I like you. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone before. It sucks so much." You sniffed slightly. "And what sucks, even more, is that it's going to change our relationship now."

Shaking his head, Jeff carefully wiped your tears away. "It'll never change our relationship."

"You promise?" You whispered.

Jeff nodded adamantly. "I promise." Jeff paused slightly. "Could I kiss you, just once?"

You hesitated. In one way it might feel like closure, another way you could end up falling for him even more. You said to hell with it and leant forward, gently capturing Jeff's lips in a sweet kiss. It seemed like it was over no quicker than it started, Jeff pulling away with a final peck to your lips and leaning back into his seat.

David came back at that moment. "Sorry, I got lost." He explained sheepishly. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." You agreed softly.

David frowned and turned to look at you and then Jeff. "Are you guys okay?"

"We'll be fine," Jeff commented from the backseat. And you would.

[whereisyourtruenorth-blog]

True North Winter Tips

I’ve casually looked around the internet (namely pinterest and youtube) for winter wardrobe tips and have genuinely laughed and been disappointed at the content that was brought up. Not that these people uploading these things didn’t post quality things, they just live in an area where their idea of Winter isn’t....well....is it REALLY Winter? Peep toed any sort of shoe? Thin knee length skirts with sheer tights? It just wasn’t practical and where I live I’m surrounded by northern, older generation practicality. I have a deep appreciation for the logical, simple, practical views on things here so I thought I’d share some. Some of them you may already do...they aren’t all about clothes because in real Northern weather it’s just not something you entirely think about.

1.) Dress appropriately. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. When it’s -40 and the sides of your driveway are like The Wall in Game of Thrones (bust out your inner Ygritte) you must learn the appropriate way to layer your clothing. Learn about/wear base layers that trap in your body heat and wick moisture. Dampness can make the cold feel many times worse if you are wearing anything that soaks up moisture without expelling it. If you can, invest in a pair of good winter boots. and socks. Tuck your pant bottoms into your socks before putting your boots on so no air or moisture can get to the skin of your ankles. Mittens are a better option because they keep your fingers together to provide heat. I have found that locally made mittens that are a blend of wool/cashmere to be the best at half the cost of store bought mittens. Remember to protect your ears and head as well! If you’re going to be outside for more than 20 minutes a snood is perfect to tuck the bottom half of your face into to breathe into it to create moisture. If you’re prone to wind burn I suggest swiping a small amount of Vaseline or something similar onto those areas (usually cheeks) and on your lips for protection.

2.) Update your tires! Not all of us have trucks but 4 wheel drive is a great help. It can be expensive to be ready for Winter but if you live here long-term and have the means to slowly do things, tires are important. It’s a terrible idea to drive on bald tires in general but especially on snowy roads. If you have a smaller, compact vehicle it’s a great idea to add weight in your car to reduce sliding on slippery days on the road. Cat litter or 50lb bags of salt can help add a little traction.

3.) Have emergency items in your vehicle at the height of winter. An extra blanket or two, extra mittens, a small emergency kit, matches or a lighter, “Heet” for your gas tank, keep your gas tank ABOVE half consistently in case you get stuck somewhere. A lot of people keep a large empty tin can and candle in their vehicle in case they get stranded and for some reason you don’t have heat in your car. You can light the candle inside of the can and the can will act as a heat source. Do not keep items that can explode in the extreme cold. It’s not fun.

4.) Stay active! If you dress appropriately, go for walks! Around the block or more if you can. I swear it will reduce your seasonal moods. If you already enjoy partaking in winter sports that’s even better. If you’re living in a Northern state long-term you may as well bite the bullet and embrace it. Staying indoors constantly is what will deplete your happiness and Vitamin D levels. The sun is still out there! It’s even better if your family or friends are interested in doing something active with you. It can be as light or as strenuous as you want so long as you get outside for even 10 minutes.

5.) Eat seasonally. At least where I’m at it’s extremely easy and accessible to get local produce. Most people here have a garden but if not nearly half of the driveways have carts of produce at the entrance. We are also surrounded by Amish who do the same and have some of the best stuff there is. People here are decently sustainable and share produce or grow their own. I know that is not the same for everyone but find out what is local to you and utilize those resources. You will be supporting someone else local instead of a large corporation and getting great produce for a lower cost. Here I can get all root vegetables and squashes for the winter (or we can summer abundance), honey, maple syrup, oats, apples, pears, peaches, etc) Most of our homes have an area usually in the basement or pantry for root vegetables to store throughout the winter.I believe eating seasonally can give you nutrition that’s a little lost during the hardest months of the winter. The food is heartier and more dense than water summer foods for a reason. Incorporate these and some broth into your diet to help you re-load your energy.

6.) Site “How to Hygge” by Signe Johansen for a real play by play on the art of hygge. I bought this book about four years ago and I still go back to it every year. Coziness truly helps when it starts getting dark around 4pm. Light candles (evergreen scents are by far my favorite) and lots of them! Get small fairy lights. If you don’t have a real fireplace invest in a small electric one that will heat a room and create that ambience. Isn’t seeing people chop wood satisfying? I think it’s because it harkens back to when people did it purely out of survival. The scent of wood burning stoves are on my top favorite scents out there. I know it’s hard but try waking earlier in the day to get the most of the daylight that you can. People wake much later than in past generations and miss a decent chunk of their day. In the winter it’s important that your body gets the most daylight it can. Wake early, make your bed, go outside for a minimum of 10 minutes. It’s the easiest recipe for a little happiness.

7.) Crack your windows for 1/2 hour every week to bring in fresh air and the old can be drawn out. Sometimes our allergies worsen because our home is shut up with all of the dust and allergens. Crisp, fresh air for a small time every week can help clear it out.

8.) Speaking of windows...find which windows in your house let the most air seep through and get a plastic window kit to cover them. It can help for comfort ability and your heat bill. Obviously I suggest keeping one uncovered (whichever one doesn’t let air through) to be able to crack it once a week.

9.) Get a bird feeder or if you have one try to keep it stocked consistently! Sometimes seeing birds, especially cardinals and blue jays can improve your mood in the winter. When you unexpectedly catch a pop of red against the blanket of white is a real treat in February. Birds have more food options during the warm months but is harder to come by in the cold. I try to mix my bird seed with dried mealworms or make my own suet with lard and peanut butter because fats and heartier things like mealworms can really aid their lack of abundance in the cold. Plus I get excited when they seem to like my suet!

10.) Do not constantly engage in whining collectively about the weather. Spin the narrative. Whining about it helps no one and there’s a reason why Scandinavians are said to be rated some of the happiest people! They flow with nature including in the winter. You can be active as well as be a hermit. Get up, get dressed, go outside a little before or after work, come home and light your candles. Make a hot toddy with Tom and Jerry mix (nods at Wisconsinites) and get COZY. People are sometimes depressed, anxious and paranoid because there is a difference between earning coziness and just sheer laziness. Sometimes you get down on yourself because you wish you would be doing just the basic every day tasks but don’t. Even just trying to be positive about winter and saying something positive will help you and make others potentially have a different thought.

11.) Share with your neighbors! Winter is the seasons of the holidays and having people with you is a joy. Find a hobby that is something other than sitting on the couch all day on the computer, phone or TV watching. Your favorite TV show is not a personality trait. One of my favorite hobbies is baking. It gets my mind on the right track and I’m not spending hours scrolling through someone else's life. I’ve noticed that in Wisconsin we love fruit based desserts and pastries. It’s probably because at the end of fall we have a surplus of berries, tree fruits and rhubarb from the trees in our yard or garden or we foraged it ourselves in the woods. Apple or rhubarb crisp anyone? Make a crisp or whatever you want and give some to your neighbor or someone you know who may not have a lot of support or are going through a tough time. Instead of spending hours scrolling it can be such an easy way to bless someone else and you feel happy in turn.

12.) Do not over lotion your skin on cheap lotion! I really suggest oils or thick butters like pure shea butter in the winter months. Try not to constantly wash your hands in hot water as tempting as it is for hot water can dry your skin quicker. Bar soap (especially locally homemade) naturally has a higher fat content and can help keep your skin moist rather than liquid soap that has the tendency to strip moisture. Wilder Supply out of Alaska is a great company if you can’t find local.

13.) Buy YAKTRAX. These are seriously awesome for someone who enjoys being outdoors in the winter or if you have an outdoor job orrrrr if you’re just paranoid falling on ice ;) They are really affordable and offer a few different varieties depending on your activity and intent for them.

I could name so many more but for now that’s the top ones the came to mind to jot down!

[hecallsmehischild]

Today’s candle (and the candle for the last few days) is Sugared Cinnamon Apple. Not my most favorite apple candle (which probably was Spiced Apple Toddy) but a lovely, gentle scent.

I suppose now is a good time for Current Events.

Thursday night I fractured my pinky toe during Krav Maga warmup. As of yesterday it’s been set and taped and I’ll be six weeks out from class while it heals. The lady at the doctor’s office said to me, “Are you the one who’s paying {for the bone-setting}? You look like you’re twelve!”

I’m nearing the end of two series I’ve been reading since... basically the beginning of March and they’re both lovely works in their own way. Can’t wait to give final thoughts on them.

Spinel from Steven Universe has been occupying significant brain space since I saw the movie. Not sure what will happen because of that. Fic? Drawings? Time will tell.

Monday I fly to Pennsylvania to visit my middle sister over her birthday. Haven’t seen her in person since I got married last year. It will be lovely to spend a few days with her. We’ll be going to see the production Jesus at Sight and Sound Theater in Lancaster, the theater she has dreamed of working for for years now. She lives practically across the street from the facility now, and we hope she can find an in eventually.

Then, a week from tomorrow I fly to Santa Monica. Sergey is spending the week with his tech community there, so I get a chance to tag along and visit family. Also, one of my favorite coffee shops is in walking limping distance, so I’ll have some good opportunity to sit down and force myself to write.

It’s been three months, now, since I tried to re-take my eyebrows. Except for a tiny patch that’s giving me problems, I declare them regrown for the first time since I was eight. I’m so happy with them.

I finally got the certified copy of the name-change order in the mail. Now I can move forward in getting my passport with the correct last name, and once I have that, all other IDs and name changes with the bank will fall into line.

A lot of house decor has come to a standstill. There’s four places in the house that are unsafe for me to try and paint because the ceilings are vaulted or there’s some super tricky niche. I got quotes from three painters and chose one. Now we’re just pending a scheduled day for them to come in and paint four large areas in one two-day fell swoop. That will be marvelous. After that, I think, I’ll be able to move forward again. Heck, after that I might think decor is “done enough” for me to do a video walkthrough, even if it’s not COMPLETELY done.

I’m starting to get excited about cooking. I have some new toys that really help, and by really help, I mean one major roadblock to me having ever wanted to cook was the amount of effort that it takes. Or, the amount of effort that I presumed it takes. Turns out an electric mixer drastically decreases the effort involved in a fresh batch of baked sweets. Turns out a pressure cooker can make a really lovely meal with minimal preparation once you get the hang of its settings. Turns out a food processor... well, I haven’t played with that yet. But I’d like to. Those are my three new toys, and with them I actually am interested in/excited about cooking, because I’m not utterly drained at the end of my efforts. I’ve started compiling dishes I can make and Sergey and I have talked about doing more meals at home WHICH, as home decor winds down anyway, is something I find myself more interested in turning my attention to.

It’s almost like these things I feared I would never be good enough to do (taking care of a house, cooking meals, being a wife) were, in large part, because I was so internally exhausted there just wasn’t the reserve to experiment with new things unless it was absolutely necessary. I have been resting, resting, resting for a long time, now. I left my job in September 2017, and I am finally starting to find in myself not only a reserve to experiment with, but a DESIRE to do so.

I am not boasting. I do not mean, here, to flaunt. I am humbled and grateful and kind of awed. I speak about it and because talking about things is how I process, and again, perhaps there is some small grain in the mess of my brain that someone else can find and use for themselves.

[emospritelet]

KOL: Gold tucks a sick Belle in bed

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11]

AO3 link

Gold woke with a start, momentarily confused over where he was and the warm presence beside him.  Belle was still sleeping, and he hastily moved back from where he had been curled around her. At least he hadn’t been prodding her with a raging erection this time, so that was something.  He rolled onto his back, lifting his head to look around the room. He felt better, but still weak, and he suspected he would need to take it easy for the rest of the day. The fire had burned low, and he slipped out from beneath the covers, going to stack some more wood on it.  Belle shifted at the sound of it, watching him with heavy eyes over the top of the blankets.

“How long was I asleep?” she asked, and he glanced at the clock.

“A few hours,” he said.  “It’s just after two. How are you feeling?”

“Thirsty.”

He poured her some water, and she pushed up on an elbow, taking the glass and drinking it down.  Gold placed his palm over her forehead, and she moaned at the feel of it, leaning into his touch.  She was still burning up, and he frowned, shaking his head.

“I’ll be okay,” she whispered.

“In a few days, perhaps,” he said.

At that moment the lights flicked back on, and they both looked around before sharing a smile.

“Power’s back,” he said.  “I’ll just check the kitchen.”

“Do you have a phone charger?” she asked.  “I should really call my dad, he’ll wonder where the hell I am.”

“I’ll find your phone,” he said, heading for the kitchen.

The heating system was ticking into life, and he spotted Belle’s phone on the table, plugging it in to charge.  The battery was completely dead, so it would be a little while before she could make a call. He filled the kettle with water, figuring that he could make them both a hot toddy with the ingredients Jefferson had brought.  He sliced lemons and placed them in cups with spoonfuls of honey, a cinnamon stick broken in half and a few cloves. He then poured a generous shot of whisky over and finished with the hot water before stirring everything up.

Belle was propped up against the pillows when he went back through, and he sat down beside her and handed her one of the cups, setting his own on the table.

“The place should be warming up soon,” he said.  “I plugged in your phone. You should give it ten minutes or so.”

“Thanks.”  She breathed in the scent from the toddy.  “Wow, that’s strong!”

He grinned.

“Should do you good,” he said.  “Or at least it’ll taste good. My aunts used to make it when I was young.  Swore by it in the winter. I mean there’s some science behind it due to the medicinal properties of the ingredients, but honestly I think they just liked the whisky.”

Belle giggled.

“Are your aunts over here?” she asked, and he shook his head.

“Passed away a few years ago,” he said.  “They were in their forties when they took me in, and raised me from around age seven.  Good women.”

“I don’t really have any wider family,” she said.  “Never knew my grandparents, and Dad’s an only child.  Mum didn’t speak to the rest of her family - apparently she married beneath herself, or something ridiculous - so I never knew them.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah.”  She patted the blankets beside her.  “Come on, get back underneath. The house isn’t warm yet.”

He slid beneath the blankets, picking up his drink and taking a sip.  It was soothing, the heat of the whisky and spices, the sharpness of lemon juice and the rich, sweet honey.  He let his head roll back against the pillows with a sigh, and Belle eyed him over the top of her mug.

“How come you ended up in the U.S.?” she asked, and he pulled a face.

“Got a scholarship to med school,” he said.  “Seemed too good to pass up.”

“Do you miss home?”

“A little,” he admitted.  “But I’ve been here a long time, and I like that the north-eastern U.S. has rain and snow and is cold enough to freeze your arse off at times.  If I’d ended up in Arizona or something, I may have fled back home far sooner.”

“Well, at least you have good neighbours here to clear the snow for you,” she observed.  “I guess now the power’s back on I should be heading home.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” he said sternly.  “You still have the flu, and I’m not about to toss you out into the snow.  The furthest you’ll be travelling is upstairs to the spare bedroom. Doctor’s orders.”

Belle grinned at that.

“What about you?” she asked.  “Are you going back to work?”

“Tomorrow, I expect,” he said.  “No doubt they could use my help, but I’m sure they’ve kept on top of things.  Jefferson and Whale are very competent, and Nurse South runs a tight ship.”

Belle chewed her lip, looking uncomfortable.

“Look, I - I didn’t want to say anything,” she began.  “I was kind of hoping it would have blown over by the time you got back, but just in case it hasn’t, I - I think you should know that Zelena’s been spreading stories about us.”

He made a noise at the back of his throat, a low grunt of irritation.

“Jefferson told me,” he said shortly.  “Don’t concern yourself, I’ll deal with it.  I don’t have the patience for gossip, and if Miss Mills is so short of work she’s spreading ridiculous rumours, I’ll just have to find something for her to do.”

“Okay,” she said.

“I’m sorry if it’s distressing you,” he added.  “But if it’s any consolation, I very much doubt that anyone at the hospital believes her.”

“Oh, that doesn’t upset me,” she said.  “I just thought - I thought maybe it might upset you, that’s all.”

He suspected she might have been offended by the suggestion that the two of them were an item, but was too polite to admit it.

“Well, we both know it would never happen, so I’m trying not to let it bother me,” he said.

Belle blinked at him, and he wanted to sigh.  Yes. The idea had upset her, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying so.  It was bad enough that she had been snowed in with an invalid and ended up catching the flu herself.  Now she had the hospital rumour-mill to contend with. Bloody Miss Mills!

“I’ll deal with it,” he repeated.  “You just concentrate on your recovery.  The sooner you’re feeling better, the sooner we can get you out of here.”

“Right,” she said quietly, and sipped at her drink.

x

Belle felt awful, the illness taking all of her strength, and once she had finished the toddy she snuggled down in the bed, drifting in an out of sleep as Gold got up and went upstairs.  He left her alone, only coming back around five to check on her and make her drink some water. She needed the bathroom, and made her way on shaking limbs, breathless with the effort by the time she got back under the covers.  He offered to heat up the chicken soup that Jefferson had brought, and although she wasn’t hungry, she agreed.  Her phone was charged, and so she called Ruby, who squealed down the phone as soon as she heard her voice.

“I almost called the cops!” she said.  “Why didn’t you come over? Your dad said he didn’t know where the hell you were and he seemed like he couldn’t care less, so I was kind of thinking maybe he’d killed you and buried you in the woods or something!  I’ve been worried sick!”

“I have the flu!” protested Belle.  “My phone ran out of juice, the power was out… Stirling and I had huddle in the lounge to keep warm.”

“Who the frilly heck is Stirling?”

“Oh.”  Belle blushed.  “Dr Gold. I - I came over to look after him, because he was sick, and - and I kind of got sick too.”

Ruby whistled, and Belle’s blush deepened.

“Shut up,” she muttered.

“No, this is awesome!” said Ruby enthusiastically.  “You like him, right? As in like him like him?  As in you’d have sex with him?”

“Ruby…”

“I’m just saying, this is looking a lot more promising than that blind date I set up.”

“Look, I gotta go,” said Belle wearily.

“Wait!  Are you okay?  Do you want me to bring you anything?”

“Not right now, I just need to sleep.”

“You know you’re always welcome to stay here if you want,” added Ruby.  “No sexy older guys, but I can make you hot cocoa!”

“I don’t want to give this to you,” said Belle.  “I’ll be okay, I just need to rest and let it take its course.”

“Okay.  Call me tomorrow, okay?”

“Thanks, Rubes.”

She rang off and called her father, trying their home when there was no answer at the shop. He was grumpy when she answered, and didn’t seem at all concerned that she hadn’t been home in days.

“I told you you’d get the flu,” he said, when she explained her situation.  “Didn’t listen, did you?”

“Thanks for the sympathy,” she said, rolling her eyes.  “Just thought I’d let you know I won’t be home for a day or two at least.”

“So what am I supposed to do for food?”

“What did you do before I came to Storybrooke?” she snapped.  “Microwave something!”

She hung up before he could snap back, and tossed the phone aside, irritated.  The sooner she could get a place of her own, the better. She heard the tap of Gold’s cane, and glanced over to where he was coming into the lounge with a tray perched on his free arm.  A steaming bowl was set on it, and she took it from him, along with a plate of bread and butter that she didn’t really want.

“Was your father worried?” he asked, and she snorted.

“That’ll be the day,” she said dryly, taking up a spoon and stirring the soup.  “God, I really need to start saving up for my own place! Are there any major landlords in town?”

“Not that I know of,” he said.  “You could try putting up a notice in the break room at the hospital, though.  Someone may have a place to rent.”

“That’s an idea.”  She blew on a spoonful of soup to cool it.  “I don’t need anything big, just a one-bed. There has to be something around.”

“So your plan is to stay in Storybrooke, then?” he said, taking a seat.  “What about that librarian position you talked about?”

“Not much chance of that at the moment,” she said gloomily.  “One step at a time, I guess.”

“Jefferson said the patients will be pleased to get their librarian back, anyway,” he said.

She sent him a grateful look.  It was good of him to remember what was important to her.  She suspected that was what made him a good doctor, the ability to remember what people told him, however unimportant it might seem to others.

“Eat your soup,” he added.  “We’re going to attempt to get you upstairs to a comfortable bed, and it could take all our combined strength, pathetic as we are.”

She returned his grin, and picked up her spoon again.  It would be nice to lie down properly and get some decent sleep, but sharing the couch with him hadn’t been so bad.

x

After the soup was eaten, and the dishes cleared away and washed, Gold managed to get Belle upstairs to the spare bedroom, and tucked her in, drawing the blankets up to her chin.  He laid a damp cloth over her forehead, and she moaned in pleasure, a low, groaning noise of pure bliss.  He had some vivid and arousing dreams that night, and was almost certain that Belle’s noises of pleasure were the cause of them.  Luckily he had slept in his own bed, with no one beside him when he woke, and no worry at the back of his mind that he would embarrass himself with involuntary erections.  Waking up alone had seemed strange at first, and he told himself not to be so ridiculous. He had been waking up alone for decades, after all.

Gold felt considerably better the next morning, if a little light-headed, and decided he was well enough to return to the hospital, albeit for a shorter shift than he would usually work.  Belle was worse, barely raising her head when he brought her tea and a jug of iced water.  Her fever made him frown, so he gave her something to reduce it, and made her drink a full glass of water before he left.

“I’ll check in on you at lunchtime,” he promised.  “No parties while I’m out, alright?”

She let out a soft giggle at that, and he nodded and eased the door closed, hoping she would start to feel better soon.

The hospital was busy, but Jefferson was right - things didn’t seem quiet as hectic as they had been.  He got an update from Whale as he changed into his scrubs; the influx of flu patients had slowed to a trickle, but they were now getting patients with complications arising from having had the flu itself.  Miss Ginger had ended up with pneumonia, and there were several instances of patients trying to do too much, too soon, and fainting in the middle of the street. The storm had also led to numerous broken bones as people slipped on the ice, but Whale said he had dealt with the majority.

“Which of the nurses are on duty?” asked Gold.

“Dorothy and Astrid are on the children’s and long-term wards, assisted by Miss Blanchard,” said Whale, buttoning his shirt.  “I put Zelena in the emergency room. She was getting on my nerves, so I figured I’d keep her busy.”

Gold grunted at that.  Good bloody riddance.

“Is Nurse South in?” he asked.

“Should be.”

“Thanks.”

Gold closed his locker with a clang and drew on his lab coat, nodding to Whale as he left the locker room.  He made his way down the corridor to where Nurse Glinda South kept her office, and found her going through the shift rotas for the week.  She sent him a warm smile as she looked up, blonde hair teased up into a neat bun.

“Dr Gold,” she said.  “I’m so pleased to see you back.  How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you,” he said.

“I presume you’ve come for an update on the patients.”

“I’ve already been through that with Dr Whale,” he said.  “Actually, this is something more delicate.”

“Ah.”  She put down her pen, sitting back.  “Would you like to take a seat?”

“Thank you, but I’m better standing.”  He opened and closed his hands on the cane handle.  “I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but it’s my understanding that Nurse Mills has been spreading false and salacious rumours about myself and Miss French, one of the assistants.”

“I did hear something being whispered around in the canteen,” she said, frowning.  “Didn’t pay it any mind, but it sounds as though it’s gotten out of hand. You’re sure it was Zelena?”

“Quite sure,” he said.  “She came to my house. Uninvited, I might add, and quite unwelcome.  Upon seeing Miss French there, she apparently got the wrong idea about our relationship.”

Glinda’s mouth flattened.

“I see,” she said.  “Well, thank you for bringing it to my attention.  I’ll be having a stern talk with Nurse Mills.”

“Thank you,” he said.  “I would have spoken to her myself, but honestly it seems as though any attention might be misinterpreted, and I’d rather not encourage her.  Besides, I didn’t want to tread on your toes.”

“I appreciate that,” she said, and picked up her pen, tapping it against the schedule on her desk.  “As luck would have it, I was about to redraw the staffing rotas. I’ll be sure to fix it so that Nurse Mills has as little interaction with you and Miss French as possible.”

Gold felt a smile spread across his face, and he inclined his head.

“Thank you, Nurse South,” he said.  “I’m obliged to you.”

[toddykun]

toddy, what do you think of donald and scrooge relationship in this episode???

oh anon, you just asked THAT question to my overanalyzing ass lmao thank u so much, i will indulge in this without restrictions ggg

little summary of donald and scrooge’s relationship in the episode: #TeamUncleForTheWin2k18 in a—more literal sense than expected. this gonna  be a looooooooooooooooooooong post anon, so hold yourself. and take into account that this is my opinion and my interpretation so i could be right or wrong, we just dont know, so that :D

all those scrooge and donald’s bonding moments were wholesome and funny (i loved them with all my freaking heart is2g they having a better relationship is my fuel to keep living lmao) but there is still some things that are hanging on even after scrooge definition of family that is obviously about them so lets start

1. scrooge choosing donald immediately and ‘i was in the will?’ moment

after going awwww when scrooge excitedly goes around screaming game night and he immediately chooses donald and laughing my ass off because donald’s ‘i was in the will?’ line, all that got me thinking because i cant stop my overanalyzing ass lmao. why did scrooge choose donald and why was donald surprised to be in the will? the overcompetitive nature of scrooge answered the first one really fast, scrooge chose him, as always, because it benefits him for reasons, reinforced by the threat of them losing and removing him of the will, more than because he wanted them to bond over board games. this is actually not that weird for scrooge, he usually does this a lot, especially to donald. i actually have problems with this more because of the actual status of their relationship more than because scrooge did this, this will be explained with the next point so i will go with my second question.

why was donald surprised? there are two possible answers for this: 1. donald didnt ever really thought about the will matter, the theme is new to him so hes surprised 2. donald didn’t think scrooge cared enough for him to be in the will so hes surprised when he actually is. i will be expanding in the second one because donald could have thought various things from this: 

1. he could have thought that because of scrooge’s greedy nature, the possibility of him having a will was nonexisting, he wouldn’t want his fortune to be someone else’s even after death, even when real scrooge would consider that a waste, the possibility of anyone being in scrooge’s will is a big ‘wait what’ to him 2. his board is the one getting everything lmao theyre the ones handling all those business stuff and that whats matter to scrooge, so why would anyone else be in the will? 3. if someone from the family was meant to be scrooge’s heir, it wouldnt be him, it would be only della, the twin that scrooge favored the most. definitely not him, the twin that scrooge reprimanded and dismissed the most. him? in the will? wtf? scrooge couldn’t care enough about him to put him in the will. but he does and whoa, wait what i am???? donald didn’t think scrooge would care, and that makes sense, this scrooge is terrible at really showing donald he cares about him outside from fighting and using him as bait. so, donald is surprised.

the good thing is, i actually see this version of scrooge having everyone in his will: the twins, the triplets (especially louie, hes probably his principal heir at this point lmao), webby, mrs beakley, launchpad, matilda (if shes alive), his parents (who are kind of immortal now?) even gladstone, fethry or grandma duck (if shes alive). leaving them all a special thing that would help them in some way, something with meaning for every person. especially to the twins, who are like his children. another good thing, scrooge is starting to show donald that he cares, enough to put him in the will and i hope this progress in scrooge showing him that he cares about him more than he actually shows him.

bonus: scrooge running stairs down with donald was precious and funny. 10/10. not bad, scrooge was just so excited. so cute.

2. ‘that’s why he chose him’, charades and non-verbal communication, understanding donald, and acting nonsensical moment.

‘ooooh, thats why he picked donald’, dewey just confirmed my suspicions about scrooge’s motivation for choosing donald, it saddens me but i expected it. again, not because scrooge did this because of his competitive strike but because he hasnt show donald that he would choose him even if he couldnt get something out of it. i want more scrooge respecting donald for who he is more than for what he can get out of him. i need scrooge choosing donald because he is family too cuz almost all the time he only chooses him for benefits. like overall, scrooge probably plays favoritism with the twins over anyone else in the family, but with the twins themselves? he favors della over donald, in an over ridiculous open way, he is really not trying to hide it. like, he recriminates donald for not being like della in the ‘17 comics? how fucked up is that? i try not to use the comics’ standpoint of their relationship because it upsets me honestly, they glorified della too much and abused donald too much. maybe because theyre from scrooge’s view of point? hes always going around talking about how great della was but donald? the series at least says that donald is actually freaking good, strong, smart and sharp and deserves the fandom getting over the top for him. the comics well….u know. but the thing is, the comics actually explain why donald is so surprised every time scrooge shows him affection or why donald looks not surprised when scrooge just uses him as a decoy, like bruh :/

‘you spent thirty years guessing what donald was saying, you must get good enough at non-verbal communication’ donald and scrooge are, not-so-surprisingly, good at charades (della must be too, now that i think about it, if scrooge and donald are almost unstoppable then the twins are really hardcore about it), this comes from donald having a speech impediment, something that probably led him to use a lot of non-verbal communication in the past. kids with especially difficult speech impediments to deal with rely heavily on non-verbal communication, usually because they develop social anxiety, insecurities and are overall scared of not being understood and being punished for it, especially outside of their safe circle (bullying, indifference, little to none social circle). baby donald probably suffered from this (who am i kidding, he definitely suffered from it, hell, donald is the most suffering classical disney character honestly the old comics are not even subtle about him being mentally ill and disabled), these kids can even stop altogether talking even to the ppl they know can understand them. all this comes into play if we assume that scrooge hanged with the twins since they were kids. hortense or not, grandma duck or not, scrooge spent time with the twins like he spends it now with the triplets. donald is not the most confident person, since he was a kid, for a good reason, he probably didn’t talk a lot as a kid with ppl outside his safe circle, scrooge comes to play later into his life so hes probably an outsider at the start of their relationship. but adventure needs communication for teamwork and to keep kids safe out there you need to be able to understand them and they need to understand you. this left scrooge with only an option: learn to understand donald, no matter what method he uses. charades? scrooge understands. ASL? scrooge understands. unintelligible gibberish? SCROOGE UNDERSTANDS! wow, hello, lost confidence. 

that probably boosted donald’s confidence quite greatly. an outsider, uncle scrooge that is grumpy and kind of asocial, gave the effort to understand little scared and unintelligible donald that probably only his twin and parents until now could understand perfectly. if that didnt bust his confidence idk what could. points for scrooge for being a great uncle!

for all this, he hasn’t told donald he doesn’t understand him because he does understand him, almost perfectly (like the triplets should do, just saying), he isnt going to have an ‘i dont understad you’ moment…..yet i expect it doesn’t happen or else, im gonna cry, first the triplets who had lived with him all their life? and now scrooge who webby said has spent at least thirty years with him? fucking come on. if della comes back and she doesn’t understand his twin brother perfectly im gonna cry, fucking honestly. donald needs to confidently talk with his speech impediment, excitedly, happy, almost unintelligible but with the confidence that there are ppl out there that do understand him and love him. i expect scrooge and della to be those ppl (not counting the caballeros, uno, storkules, and other family members, who can maybe understand him but arent with him constantly to remind him to not let down his confidence in that matter).

also they fighting nonsensically is the best thing, because they do that a lot, they fight over the most ridiculous things and they act like that sometimes, just pure idiocy over the most unimportant matters is like their default mode is the best. they’re can be so ridiculously petty, i love them. 

3. ‘team uncle for the win!’, hug and retreat and lets just shook hands moment

THEY HUGGED!!!!SO!!!GOOD!!!!! wait no keep hugging what are you doing? show each other how much you care, you need it, you dummies, goddamit and now you’re shaking hands ok why not fucking god

well besides that, ‘team uncle for the win!’ was a beautiful, spontaneous and wholesome moment that i shouldnt overanalyze but i will anyways lmao i have the opinion that scrooge said that spontaneously but can be interpreted in a more literal sense to understand scrooge and donald’s actual status of their relationship. team uncle is literally for the win, it wouldnt exist if it didn’t fulfill that specific function, donald probably knows this team up is more a way for them to win, for scrooge to win. but when against all odds they are successful in jenga (lol) this triggers something in scrooge that genuinely burst him into an affection spring and makes him shout that, it was just a piece, they both know it but its almost the first time they have bonded in years and donald, who is particularly sensitive and reacts a lot to emotions, reacts as well with affection and excitement, and what happens when ppl sync up their emotions spontaneously like that? they are overflowed with it, they need to act on it, emotions are almost impossible to control, they’re unpredictable, quick and extremely powerful driving forces so what obviously happens? THEY HUG!!!! emotions made these two idiots hug, they havent hug in years!!! YEARS!!! and they hug again in years because they were overflowed with genuine affection!!! but like i say, emotions are quick and when they end, its like a slap of realization in the face, they go ‘omg i did that!’ and separate immediately, just to go and cordially shake hands? when emotions are involved, context usually flies out the window, they probably forgot ten years of separation in that instant, but when it ended all those years came back and made it kind of uncomfortable. so their ‘we’re doing this just to win’ attitude comes back.

but it was good! its a good start! i dont know if they showed each other this kind of spontaneous affection but without embarrassment, pre-della disappearing but it. is. GOOD. these two need as much fluff as the triplets and webby get. uncle-nephew/niece relationship is a big thing in the DuckTales universe, and for scrooge and donald to not have as much as the triplets get kills me inside. they need this the most, so i hope this season provides because it started well in that matter, i hope it progresses into unapologetic and genuine affection without embarrassing departings and weird shake hands. 

4. helping him get up moment

completely underrated and wholesome moment, like there are no downs at this moment, its too good, they helping him up? nice. scrooge looking at them mad while protectively holding onto his boy who i remind you is in the will and for consideration, he’s one of his heirs (the other one being definitely della and very probably the triplets)? so nice. beautiful, i love it. mindless fluff this was. 10/10.

5. using donald as a weapon and scrooge’s definition of family.

like theres a difference between fighting alongside scrooge and being used to fight by scrooge. and here we see it, that even when scrooge is technically using donald, they are actually fighting together, its different from when scrooge just forces donald to danger and fights and you know why? because donald is doing it willingly. he is enjoying himself fighting, donald has shown from time to time that he likes to fight. so when he fights willingly and scrooge joins him, he enjoys himself, he is happy. like, look at his face, donald is into it, this is a duck that likes adventure and fighting, this is different from the gladstone’s episode and the ‘17 comics, where scrooge just pushes donald into things without his consent or knowledge because what? he thinks donald wouldnt understand? that donald is going to say no to protect his family if necessary? goddamit scrooge, if you took the time to let donald trust you and explain things to him, he would do the things you ask him, he is smart and u know it. this is one of the things where i hc the twins to differ, adult della followed scrooge almost blindly into danger, pushed by her own ambition and thirst for adventure, while adult donald, careful donald who was probably in the navy and has seen things and adventure spirit has matured, did not. i dont think scrooge took that as good as he should. scrooge favored della for throwing herself at danger just like that, confidently and recklessly, but would frown at donald, who turned around and asked why, who said no, who said but, who said this doesnt worth losing ourselves, who was again, too careful. so, scrooge decides to push him around, to see if this could trigger something, instead of talking him into it, and we know how hard it can be for scrooge to talk things trough. i dont think scrooge had any malicious intent but he didnt choose the best way into that and well, when you force someone into something they dont want, it doesnt end well. scrooge needs to learn to talk things through. also, scrooge needs to apologize, donald already forgave him but just that its not going to fix ten years of separation and past issues. scrooge needs to put his weight into this relationship too. and this probably starts with scrooge’s definition of family:

“You drive each other crazier than anyone could and still care about each other more than anyone!”

we have seen this particular definition of their relationship play into the old comics a lot, and in some low level in the series. but the thing is and i have pointed it out several times for the whole post, scrooge is not exactly good at showing donald how much he cares about him in the series to the point that it surprises donald when scrooge does show that he cares about him, and it makes sense that donald is surprised by it, scrooge had openly displayed favoritism for della saying how incredible she was but for donald the only thing he has really openly displayed is dismissal, comparisons to his sister and that scrooge usually just uses him to his beneficial. scrooge needs to learn how to show his affection to the twin he has left effectively, we know he cares, but donald doesn’t and for good reason! scrooge, show him your love for real!

in conclusion, their relationship is improving! it still needs time and adjustment and for scrooge to meet donald halfway into the whole forgiving the past stuff. however, they love each other despite everything and i think thats what matters the most :D they can do it! these ducks dont back down! AND…

[perfectirishgifts]

Garrett Marcantel’s ‘12th Date Of Christmas’ Is Here, And What He’s Learned Is To Live Without Labels

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/garrett-marcantels-12th-date-of-christmas-is-here-and-what-hes-learned-is-to-live-without-labels/

Garrett Marcantel’s ‘12th Date Of Christmas’ Is Here, And What He’s Learned Is To Live Without Labels

Garrett Marcantel appears in HBO Max’s 12 Dates of Christmas and is a real estate agent in New York … [] City.

Subscribers to HBO Max receive an early holiday present to open and binge tonight: the final three episodes of the reality rom-com series 12 Dates of Christmas.

Jilly Pearce, executive vice president of the production company, Objective Media, told Deadline this time last year that 12 Dates of Christmas would be a “romantic, fun and feel-good dating show, with a difference.” That difference is Garrett Marcantel, a gay man set on a mission to find love in a faraway fantasy setting.

Producers plucked Marcantel and two other attractive young singles from their lives in the U.S. and placed them in an Austrian winter wonderland.

It’s reality TV, but the stars of this show aren’t secluded in a rose-festooned California mansion, stranded on a tropical Pacific island or trapped on a TV studio backlot; An actual castle is the playground for these hopeless romantics looking for that special someone to bring home for the holidays.

For those new to the series, which dropped on Thanksgiving, Marcantel, Faith Fernandez and Chad Savage met for the first time in episode one inside the castle’s huge banquet hall, crowded with Christmas trees.

From left to right, Garrett Marcantel, Faith Fernandez and Chad Savage meet in the castle on the … [] series premiere of 12 Dates of Christmas, titled, “Meet, Sleigh, Love.”

Fernandez and Savage are straight, and over the series’ run, each of the three reality stars meet potential partners on festive dates that send them ice skating, on sleigh rides, hosting ugly sweater parties, après-ski activities and enjoying hot toddies after a fun day in the snow. And of course, since this is reality TV, there are “twists and turns.”

“This was a huge learning process for me,” Marcantel, 29, said in a phone interview. The Louisiana native is a New York City-based real estate agent and developer who came out five years ago. It’s an historic bit of casting, believed to be the first time that a gay lead stars in a mainstream dating competition on a major network or streaming service. But Marcantel said he had no idea what he was in for, until nearly the last minute.

Garrett Marcantel on 12 Dates of Christmas.

“I found out that I was a lead just before arriving to the castle,” he said. “I was thrown into a situation where it really tested my character, and what I thought I would want in a relationship with another person.”

Marcantel said he likes to be open minded when it comes to opportunities, even this one.

“When I was asked to be on the show, I thought that it could be a really unique opportunity to potentially capture a love story that could be cherished and shared, even when I am an old person.”

Without giving away any spoilers, Marcantel said meeting his reality co-stars while shooting the first episode burst his “gay bubble.”

“Meeting Faith and Chad was kind of an introduction back into the straight community,” said Marcantel, who’s been living in New York City the last five years. “I pretty much lived in a gay bubble. I was excited to see how straights date, to be honest. It was quite entertaining to see Chad get so excited with every single girl that was introduced to him, and then to see Faith’s love journey. She really fought to to keep a special connection that she found in the castle.”

From left to right, Garrett Marcantel, Faith Fernandez, Chad Savage of 12 Dates of Christmas.

Prior to coming out in 2015, Marcantel studied natural resource management and geology while attending college in Salt Lake City, Utah, a progressive city which he called “a place of refuge” to help him figure out his sexualtity.

Growing up Roman Catholic in Lake Charles, a very conservative, industrial town on Louisiana’s Gulf coast, was arduous for Marcantel, he said. His ancestors settled the state back in the 1700s, so both faith and tradition were drilled into him from an early age. But something else was on his mind: boys.

“I knew I was gay since I was, I think like nine or 10 years old. I was really young,” said Marcantel. ”The hard thing was, I didn’t have any anyone to talk with about this; There just weren’t any resources. Being a kid in the ‘90s in Louisiana, I was all alone.” He battled depression throughout his childhood, he said, and got away first chance he could, upon graduating high school.

“I just wanted freedom; just to feel free,” he said. “And the only place that I really felt that was in nature. So, I chose the University of Utah because it was right in the heart of the mountains, and I could ski. I just really kind of wanted to be in a place that was completely different than Louisiana.”

Garrett Marcantel

The scenery had changed, but Marcantel hadn’t. He struggled resolving his desires with his upbringing and was confused by the young men he dated, who were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

“My time in Salt Lake was more or less a battle for me, and I was also going through that with these Mormon boys as well,” he said. “It was this confusing, difficult road and I was intimidated by some of the members of our community that were out and living their best life, because it was also against the the way that I was taught. That time was more or less a war, as I wrestled with the question: ‘Am I truly going to get to a place of freedom?’ I did not know how to get there, so that was a very difficult time.”

Following college, Marcantel “stuck to the nature route,” working as a park ranger in a cave system and in Yellowstone National Park as well as in the Grand Canyon area.

That certainly was different from where he was raised along the Gulf of Mexico, but nothing could be more different than where he landed next.

“New York, it’s in my blood, and I don’t think I could ever leave now that I’m in New York,” said Marcantel. “New York was the place that I say really allowed me to be me, for the first time. I lived in Bushwick, Brooklyn. It’s a very open, artistic neighborhood.

Although he dated in Utah, Marcantel was not out until he moved to New York City five years ago. “In my first year in New York, I started going on dates and I realized that at point, if I wanted to fall in love with someone, then I needed, I owed it to myself, to come out to my family.

The openness of the LGBTQ community helped guide him to a place he described as “sexual freedom.”

“I had enough confidence that I was able to make the trek back down to Louisiana and finally be honest with my family about my experience,” he said. Their initial reaction was shock, “And there were tears involved.”

His mother had the hardest time, and asked him to be patient with her. “She was on a new path that she didn’t necessarily see me on; she had a vision of me marrying a woman and having a traditional life,” said Marcantel. “It was kind of like a death had occurred and and she just had to process it.” Ultimately, he said his mother did just that, and embraced him.

One of the still uncharted journeys for many in the LGBTQ community is something Marcantel said he is “comfortable with:” dating people who identify as transgender.

That isn’t something that came up on 12 Dates of Christmas, or on any reality dating series, so far. But Marcantel said he’s no stranger to the trans community and is open to dating trans people.

“It’s a personal experience I had, and it showed me that I’m also on the spectrum of fluidity,” he said. “I think people love labels and stereotypes. And I think that we as humans are much more complex than what those stereotypes and labels are, the ones that get put on us.”

Marcantel told this story that raised his awareness of who he is, and his own feelings:

“My one crush on a girl in high school in Louisiana was from my cross-country team. We went to a couple of school dances. She actually fully transitioned to a man after college. When I heard of his transition I wanted to reach out and congratulate him. It was then to my surprise that, yes I was still physically attracted to them, and even more so than I was in high school. He seemed very happy, and had a boyfriend, so I left it at the congratulations.

“That showed me, though, that I physically wasn’t opposed to the option of dating someone trans. We did have a special unspoken connection when we were younger, as we were both in the closet. We never spoke about it, since we were living in such a conservative environment, but this experience made me feel more comfortable with the idea of dating trans in the future.”

Who will Marcantel wind up bringing home to Louisiana? The series 12 Dates of Christmas is now streaming on HBO Max.

Garrett Marcantel on a date in 12 Dates of Christmas on HBO Max.

From Diversity & Inclusion in Perfectirishgifts

[michaelchinworcester]

Improve Your Muay Thai Now: How Master Toddy Trains Champions, Part 2

Read Part 1 here.

ON THE ROPES

The muay Thai trainer known as Master Toddy likes to have his students cut their teeth on a specially designed striking pad that’s positioned near the ropes that surround one of his boxing rings.

“You can stand in front and hit it to get your distance with uppercuts and other punches until you feel comfortable,” Master Toddy says. “Then you learn how to punch and kick while bouncing off the ropes to get their energy. You really need that energy in round four and round five.”

ON READING YOUR OPPONENT

“In round one, watch your opponent,” he advises. “Notice how he stands, how he moves, how he blinks. You have to feel him out and think about what he wants to do to you.” That’s the best way to beat him, Master Toddy says.

ON THE PHYSICAL VS. THE MENTAL

“Fighting is 50-percent mental,” the muay Thai master says. “Conditioning is only so important. I know one guy who runs marathons, but the conditioning doesn’t do him much good in the ring. He never wins; he never believed in himself.

“I would say, ‘Kick him with your right leg.’ He would ask, ‘What happens if he kicks me at the same time?’ I told him I couldn’t be his muay Thai teacher because we couldn’t connect. Letting him stay would have wasted his time.

“You have to be determined to win. If you’re not, you’re wasting your time.”

Wang Bo, formerly of Shaolin Temple, is the featured instructor in an online kung fu course from Black Belt. Titled Tree of Shaolin, it streams video lessons to your preferred digital device. Sign up here and start your journey along the 1,500-year-old Shaolin path!

ON GOOD TEACHERS

It’s very common for good teachers to connect with their fighters — even if they don’t call it “connecting,” Master Toddy says. “I might do more than other people because I come from the background of a monk. My family believed in the same things I do. My fighters do, too.

“Like Lisa King — we connect every time she fights, and she wins. She has the spirit. Of course, everybody has bad days. If your spirit is strong, though, it won’t matter. You can still be strong and win.”

ON MEASURING SKILL

Master Toddy says people often ask him if the person with the better technique will win a fight. “No,” he says. “The person with the heart of the lion wins. It can help you beat someone who’s technically better than you.”

The best test of skill in muay Thai is competing in Thailand — with no family and friends around you, he adds. “You can’t call yourself the world champion of muay Thai without having beat the Thais.”

ON EMPATHY

After one incident in Thailand, Master Toddy began cautioning all his fighters about unexpected mental conditioning. “I had one fighter who went there to train,” he recalls. “She was watching a fight, and a boy she knew got knocked out right in front of her. She felt that knockout and heard his head hit the floor. She said, ‘I hope that doesn’t happen to me!’

“Then everything started going wrong. I tried to get rid of her negative thoughts, but she got knocked out in the first round of her next fight.

“Whenever someone gets knocked out, you shouldn’t look at the person getting carried out. You should look at the winner — and celebrate! Feel his victory!”

ON CATCHING UP

Thais start training in kickboxing at age 4 or 5, making it extremely difficult for an American fighter who doesn’t begin until he’s 25 to catch up. But Master Toddy has a solution.

“I have them train certain things and fight smart,”  he says. “For example, in Thailand, they don’t score much on punches because they don’t want muay Thai to become boxing. So training smart might include developing a big punch or a sneaky elbow. The Thais are so far ahead that a foreigner doesn’t have to win to be victorious there. If he goes five rounds with a Thai champion, he’s a winner to me. If he loses a split decision, I jump up and down!”

Silat for the Street is an online course from Black Belt Hall of Famer Burton Richardson and Black Belt mag. Learn the most functional silat techniques whenever and wherever you want on your smartphone, tablet or computer. Get more info here!

ON PREPARATION

“Prepare everything before a fight,” Master Toddy says. “Your clothes, gloves, even your toothpaste and toothbrush — everything you need to make your day. Then you don’t have to worry about the little things. You can focus on fighting and winning.”

ON BEING BOSSY

“I don’t believe in telling my fighters every move to make,” Master Toddy says. “Many fighters ‘die’ because their cornerman tells them what to do. You have to let the fighters make their own decisions.

“I try to keep my instructions short: ‘What a beautiful day! You look good. I like your moves.’ Then, after everything positive has been said and the fight starts, I might say: ‘Breathe until you feel better. I believe in your right hand. Remember when you knocked out your last opponent with it? You can do it again.’

“With some people, though, you have to yell. It depends on the connection.”

ON ANGER

“Some instructors train their fighters to be angry,” he says. “I don’t like my fighters to get angry before a match. When you get angry, you drain your energy very quickly, and you can run out of gas.

“My style is to tell them to relax, that when the time comes, they’ll do the right thing. It’s a Buddhist attitude.”

Announcing the Greg Jackson Mixed Martial Arts Core Curriculum, an online course from Black Belt magazine and the world’s leading MMA coach! Learn the best fighting techniques, combinations and strategies on your tablet or smartphone. More info here!

ON THE BENEFITS OF STUDYING

Much of the payoff of training in muay Thai isn’t about learning how to kick and punch, Master Toddy says. “It’s about the spirit, as well as discipline and mental training. That’s why we have the pra jiad, or armband.

“We used to cut the clothes of our mother and father to make it. Then we would wrap them together with a small Buddha. If I hit your arm, it was weak. But if you wrapped the band around your arm first, you wouldn’t get hurt. It’s all psychology. That’s one reason we have to honor tradition. Muay Thai is not too much about religion; it’s more spiritual.”

ON IRONY

“Thailand is one of the hottest countries in the world,” he says. “How do I train my people to compete there? I turn the heater on in the gym here. I put them in hot water before they go so they get used to the ‘pressure’ of the heat and humidity.”

ON BASEBALL BATS

“I always try to encourage my students, but I punish them, too,” Toddy says. “I have a baseball bat, and sometimes I hit them until they do things right.” (laughs)

Read Part 1 here.

Robert W. Young is the editor-in-chief of Black Belt.

from Black Belt» Daily » Black Belt http://ift.tt/2tlSraZ via Michael Chin Worcester Systema

[toddysdiaries]

Family Ties Part 2 - Jeff Wittek x Reader

((GIF IS NOT MINE))

Pairing: Jeff Wittek x Reader, Toddy Smith x Sister!Reader

Requested?: yes, repeatedly:

‘Will there be a family tie pt 2? It was v good!!’  ‘LOVED fam ties dude! Is this going to be the only one? Or are there more? Ur da bomb’ ‘I need part 2 to family ties already!!’ ‘Part 2 to family ties??’

and my favourite:

‘Tell me Family Ties has a pt 2!!! That can’t be the end!!! What if the Ex end up tracking her down cause he sees her in a vlog?! What if her and Jeff never get together omgggggggg😭’

Summary: Todd starts to get suspicious and confronts Jeff. Then he confronts you.

Words: 1,202 words

Warnings: swear words.

A/N: Requests are open! NO MORE JEFF OR DAVID REQUESTS!!!

As time passed not being with Jeff began to hurt more and more instead of less like you thought it would do. You could tell by the looks that Jeff snuck at you that he felt the same way.

Toddy had finally noticed the secret glances and had grown slightly suspicious, he knew that the pair of you weren’t dating because Jeff was with him 80% of the time and wouldn’t have been able to hide it. Your relationship with Todd had improved slightly, and he’d backed off of being so protective, but you still couldn’t be with Jeff because you knew that that would set him off. He was beginning to become worried about how melancholy you were and wondered if it had something to do with Jeff.

“Hey, Jeff?” Todd had been hanging out with Jeff and felt that it was time to find out what had gone on between his friend and his little sister.

Jeff’s gaze snapped to his friend, Toddy was using a tone of voice that he hadn’t heard before and couldn’t quite place the intonation. “Yeah?”

Todd turned to face his friend fully. “When was the last time you got laid?” Todd was trying to figure out if Jeff had slept with his sister and then messed her around.

Cheeks colouring, Jeff’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to work out why his friend was asking him such a question. “About 8, 9 months ago, I guess. Why?”

Eyes widening, Todd looked confused. “That long ago?” His sister hadn’t been in L.A. for anywhere near as long as that, so the last person Jeff had had sex with had to have been his ex before they broke up.

Jeff rolled his eyes feeling thoroughly embarrassed, he knew that Todd had a lot of sex. “Yes man, that long ago. Fuck you.”

“But why?!” Todd blurted out, he knew that many girls threw themselves at Jeff and he would willingly admit that Jeff was a good looking man.

Groaning, Jeff pulled his hat off and ran his hand through his unstyled hair. “Well, at first it was because of my breakup, I thought we were going to get back together, and so I wasn’t sleeping with anyone.” Jeff didn’t want to say why he wasn’t sleeping with anyone then because even though Todd wasn’t the brightest crayon, he would probably work it out.

“And now?” Todd pushed.

Jeff rubbed his hand over his mouth. “I fell in love with someone.”

Todd’s eyebrows furrowed again. “Who? Have you told her? Does she love you?”

Scoffing, Jeff fixed his hat back on his head. “Yes she knows, and yes she does love me too. It’s just complicated, and we can’t be together.”

“Why not?”

Jeff exhaled loudly. “Bro Code.” He immediately regretted it as soon as the words had left his lips.

Todd’s eyes widened. “It’s not Corinna, right? Or Liza?”

“No, man, of course, it’s not Corinna or Liza.” He shuffled uncomfortably, he didn’t usually talk about this stuff with anyone. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

Unfortunately, Toddy had figured it out. “Wait, is it Y/N?!” Toddy watched as Jeff tensed, his body language giving away the answer. “You’re in love with my sister?!”

Jeff sprung up from the couch and held his hands up defensively. “I haven’t touched your sister, I swear!”

“Wait, she loves you too?!” By this point, Todd had sprung up too and was stood in front of Jeff.

Sighing, Jeff crossed his arms over his head. “Yes.” He mumbled.

“What’s complicated about that?”

Jeff’s arms fell away from his head, and he looked at Todd in disbelief. “What, what’s complicated about that?!” Jeff squeaked. “Todd you almost punched a guy who looked at your sister's ass the other day!”

Todd scoffed. “He was a pervert!” Something clicked in Todd’s mind. “Wait, did you think that I wouldn’t want you dating my sister?”

“I have a criminal record!” Jeff waved his arms around. “Something that you all keep reminding me.” He muttered under his breath.

“Dude, that was like 10 years ago!”

Jeff just stared at his friend, too shocked to even think.

“Are you really not dating Y/N because you thought I wouldn’t want you dating her?” Todd looked downtrodden.

Jeff hesitated. “Yes,”

Todd walked out of the room and up the stairs, into his bedroom, walking out a few moments later fully dressed. “Come on.” Jeff watched as he stepped into his shoes, pulling them on with the laces done up and searching for his car keys. Jeff just stared at him dumbly, only following when Todd turned around to stare at his unmoving form.

“Where are we going?” Jeff thought to ask when they were settled into Todd’s car, and he was driving away from his and Jason’s shared house.

“Y/N’s apartment,” Todd said simply.

Jeff startled slightly. “What?! Why?!” Todd didn’t answer him. “Todd!”

Todd exhaled. “Just wait.”

Jeff sat restlessly for the rest of the journey, worrying that he was going to forbid the pair of you from even being around each other. It was stupid, he was a grown man, even older than Todd himself, he could see you if he wanted to. Jeff didn’t even notice that they had reached your apartment building until Toddy had slammed the door shut after getting out of the car.

Following Todd up to your apartment, Jeff’s heart began to beat heavily in his chest as he counted down the door numbers until he got to your apartment and Todd confronted the pair of you. His heart almost beat out of his chest when Todd knocked harshly on your door.

Your eyes were surprised when you opened your door, unexpecting of company. Your eyebrows furrowed as Todd pushed into your apartment, immediately looking to Jeff, who looked at you apologetically, shrugging slightly.

“Todd, what are you doing here?” You didn’t really spend much time with your brother anymore since you had argued and slapped him.

Todd exhaled sharply and started to pace. “I just had a conversation with Jeff.” His tone was pointed, and you knew immediately what he was talking about, you turned around to face Jeff.

“Jeff, what the fuck?” You asked, clearly thinking the worst.

Todd cut Jeff off before he could reply. “Y/N, why would you think that I wouldn’t want you to date, Jeff?! Of course, I’d love for you to date Jeff. He’s a great guy!”

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish as you tried to formulate a response.

“Wait, what?!” Jeff burst out. “You’re telling me that I could’ve been dating Y/N the whole time?”

Rolling his eyes, Todd scoffed. “Well, why the fuck couldn’t you?!”

At that, Jeff crossed the short distance between the pair of you and brought you into a passionate kiss. You squeaked slightly in surprise but began to kiss back in earnest.

“Hey, hey, hey.” You heard Toddy’s voice and broke apart. “You can date, but I don’t want to see the pair of you get it on!”

Jeff chuckled and pulled you back to him, sticking his middle finger up at your brother. He had a lot of lost time to make up for.

[johnbattlesca]

Improve Your Muay Thai Now: How Master Toddy Trains Champions, Part 2

Read Part 1 here.

ON THE ROPES

The muay Thai trainer known as Master Toddy likes to have his students cut their teeth on a specially designed striking pad that’s positioned near the ropes that surround one of his boxing rings.

“You can stand in front and hit it to get your distance with uppercuts and other punches until you feel comfortable,” Master Toddy says. “Then you learn how to punch and kick while bouncing off the ropes to get their energy. You really need that energy in round four and round five.”

ON READING YOUR OPPONENT

“In round one, watch your opponent,” he advises. “Notice how he stands, how he moves, how he blinks. You have to feel him out and think about what he wants to do to you.” That’s the best way to beat him, Master Toddy says.

ON THE PHYSICAL VS. THE MENTAL

“Fighting is 50-percent mental,” the muay Thai master says. “Conditioning is only so important. I know one guy who runs marathons, but the conditioning doesn’t do him much good in the ring. He never wins; he never believed in himself.

“I would say, ‘Kick him with your right leg.’ He would ask, ‘What happens if he kicks me at the same time?’ I told him I couldn’t be his muay Thai teacher because we couldn’t connect. Letting him stay would have wasted his time.

“You have to be determined to win. If you’re not, you’re wasting your time.”

Wang Bo, formerly of Shaolin Temple, is the featured instructor in an online kung fu course from Black Belt. Titled Tree of Shaolin, it streams video lessons to your preferred digital device. Sign up here and start your journey along the 1,500-year-old Shaolin path!

ON GOOD TEACHERS

It’s very common for good teachers to connect with their fighters — even if they don’t call it “connecting,” Master Toddy says. “I might do more than other people because I come from the background of a monk. My family believed in the same things I do. My fighters do, too.

“Like Lisa King — we connect every time she fights, and she wins. She has the spirit. Of course, everybody has bad days. If your spirit is strong, though, it won’t matter. You can still be strong and win.”

ON MEASURING SKILL

Master Toddy says people often ask him if the person with the better technique will win a fight. “No,” he says. “The person with the heart of the lion wins. It can help you beat someone who’s technically better than you.”

The best test of skill in muay Thai is competing in Thailand — with no family and friends around you, he adds. “You can’t call yourself the world champion of muay Thai without having beat the Thais.”

ON EMPATHY

After one incident in Thailand, Master Toddy began cautioning all his fighters about unexpected mental conditioning. “I had one fighter who went there to train,” he recalls. “She was watching a fight, and a boy she knew got knocked out right in front of her. She felt that knockout and heard his head hit the floor. She said, ‘I hope that doesn’t happen to me!’

“Then everything started going wrong. I tried to get rid of her negative thoughts, but she got knocked out in the first round of her next fight.

“Whenever someone gets knocked out, you shouldn’t look at the person getting carried out. You should look at the winner — and celebrate! Feel his victory!”

ON CATCHING UP

Thais start training in kickboxing at age 4 or 5, making it extremely difficult for an American fighter who doesn’t begin until he’s 25 to catch up. But Master Toddy has a solution.

“I have them train certain things and fight smart,”  he says. “For example, in Thailand, they don’t score much on punches because they don’t want muay Thai to become boxing. So training smart might include developing a big punch or a sneaky elbow. The Thais are so far ahead that a foreigner doesn’t have to win to be victorious there. If he goes five rounds with a Thai champion, he’s a winner to me. If he loses a split decision, I jump up and down!”

Silat for the Street is an online course from Black Belt Hall of Famer Burton Richardson and Black Belt mag. Learn the most functional silat techniques whenever and wherever you want on your smartphone, tablet or computer. Get more info here!

ON PREPARATION

“Prepare everything before a fight,” Master Toddy says. “Your clothes, gloves, even your toothpaste and toothbrush — everything you need to make your day. Then you don’t have to worry about the little things. You can focus on fighting and winning.”

ON BEING BOSSY

“I don’t believe in telling my fighters every move to make,” Master Toddy says. “Many fighters ‘die’ because their cornerman tells them what to do. You have to let the fighters make their own decisions.

“I try to keep my instructions short: ‘What a beautiful day! You look good. I like your moves.’ Then, after everything positive has been said and the fight starts, I might say: ‘Breathe until you feel better. I believe in your right hand. Remember when you knocked out your last opponent with it? You can do it again.’

“With some people, though, you have to yell. It depends on the connection.”

ON ANGER

“Some instructors train their fighters to be angry,” he says. “I don’t like my fighters to get angry before a match. When you get angry, you drain your energy very quickly, and you can run out of gas.

“My style is to tell them to relax, that when the time comes, they’ll do the right thing. It’s a Buddhist attitude.”

Announcing the Greg Jackson Mixed Martial Arts Core Curriculum, an online course from Black Belt magazine and the world’s leading MMA coach! Learn the best fighting techniques, combinations and strategies on your tablet or smartphone. More info here!

ON THE BENEFITS OF STUDYING

Much of the payoff of training in muay Thai isn’t about learning how to kick and punch, Master Toddy says. “It’s about the spirit, as well as discipline and mental training. That’s why we have the pra jiad, or armband.

“We used to cut the clothes of our mother and father to make it. Then we would wrap them together with a small Buddha. If I hit your arm, it was weak. But if you wrapped the band around your arm first, you wouldn’t get hurt. It’s all psychology. That’s one reason we have to honor tradition. Muay Thai is not too much about religion; it’s more spiritual.”

ON IRONY

“Thailand is one of the hottest countries in the world,” he says. “How do I train my people to compete there? I turn the heater on in the gym here. I put them in hot water before they go so they get used to the ‘pressure’ of the heat and humidity.”

ON BASEBALL BATS

“I always try to encourage my students, but I punish them, too,” Toddy says. “I have a baseball bat, and sometimes I hit them until they do things right.” (laughs)

Read Part 1 here.

Robert W. Young is the editor-in-chief of Black Belt.

from Black Belt» Daily » Black Belt http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/traditional-martial-arts-training/muay-thai/improve-your-muay-thai-now-how-master-toddy-trains-champions-part-2/ Improve Your Muay Thai Now: How Master Toddy Trains Champions, Part 2 published first on http://thrandythefabulous.tumblr.com

[thrandythefabulous]

Improve Your Muay Thai Now: How Master Toddy Trains Champions, Part 2

Read Part 1 here.

ON THE ROPES

The muay Thai trainer known as Master Toddy likes to have his students cut their teeth on a specially designed striking pad that’s positioned near the ropes that surround one of his boxing rings.

“You can stand in front and hit it to get your distance with uppercuts and other punches until you feel comfortable,” Master Toddy says. “Then you learn how to punch and kick while bouncing off the ropes to get their energy. You really need that energy in round four and round five.”

ON READING YOUR OPPONENT

“In round one, watch your opponent,” he advises. “Notice how he stands, how he moves, how he blinks. You have to feel him out and think about what he wants to do to you.” That’s the best way to beat him, Master Toddy says.

ON THE PHYSICAL VS. THE MENTAL

“Fighting is 50-percent mental,” the muay Thai master says. “Conditioning is only so important. I know one guy who runs marathons, but the conditioning doesn’t do him much good in the ring. He never wins; he never believed in himself.

“I would say, ‘Kick him with your right leg.’ He would ask, ‘What happens if he kicks me at the same time?’ I told him I couldn’t be his muay Thai teacher because we couldn’t connect. Letting him stay would have wasted his time.

“You have to be determined to win. If you’re not, you’re wasting your time.”

Wang Bo, formerly of Shaolin Temple, is the featured instructor in an online kung fu course from Black Belt. Titled Tree of Shaolin, it streams video lessons to your preferred digital device. Sign up here and start your journey along the 1,500-year-old Shaolin path!

ON GOOD TEACHERS

It’s very common for good teachers to connect with their fighters — even if they don’t call it “connecting,” Master Toddy says. “I might do more than other people because I come from the background of a monk. My family believed in the same things I do. My fighters do, too.

“Like Lisa King — we connect every time she fights, and she wins. She has the spirit. Of course, everybody has bad days. If your spirit is strong, though, it won’t matter. You can still be strong and win.”

ON MEASURING SKILL

Master Toddy says people often ask him if the person with the better technique will win a fight. “No,” he says. “The person with the heart of the lion wins. It can help you beat someone who’s technically better than you.”

The best test of skill in muay Thai is competing in Thailand — with no family and friends around you, he adds. “You can’t call yourself the world champion of muay Thai without having beat the Thais.”

ON EMPATHY

After one incident in Thailand, Master Toddy began cautioning all his fighters about unexpected mental conditioning. “I had one fighter who went there to train,” he recalls. “She was watching a fight, and a boy she knew got knocked out right in front of her. She felt that knockout and heard his head hit the floor. She said, ‘I hope that doesn’t happen to me!’

“Then everything started going wrong. I tried to get rid of her negative thoughts, but she got knocked out in the first round of her next fight.

“Whenever someone gets knocked out, you shouldn’t look at the person getting carried out. You should look at the winner — and celebrate! Feel his victory!”

ON CATCHING UP

Thais start training in kickboxing at age 4 or 5, making it extremely difficult for an American fighter who doesn’t begin until he’s 25 to catch up. But Master Toddy has a solution.

“I have them train certain things and fight smart,”  he says. “For example, in Thailand, they don’t score much on punches because they don’t want muay Thai to become boxing. So training smart might include developing a big punch or a sneaky elbow. The Thais are so far ahead that a foreigner doesn’t have to win to be victorious there. If he goes five rounds with a Thai champion, he’s a winner to me. If he loses a split decision, I jump up and down!”

Silat for the Street is an online course from Black Belt Hall of Famer Burton Richardson and Black Belt mag. Learn the most functional silat techniques whenever and wherever you want on your smartphone, tablet or computer. Get more info here!

ON PREPARATION

“Prepare everything before a fight,” Master Toddy says. “Your clothes, gloves, even your toothpaste and toothbrush — everything you need to make your day. Then you don’t have to worry about the little things. You can focus on fighting and winning.”

ON BEING BOSSY

“I don’t believe in telling my fighters every move to make,” Master Toddy says. “Many fighters ‘die’ because their cornerman tells them what to do. You have to let the fighters make their own decisions.

“I try to keep my instructions short: ‘What a beautiful day! You look good. I like your moves.’ Then, after everything positive has been said and the fight starts, I might say: ‘Breathe until you feel better. I believe in your right hand. Remember when you knocked out your last opponent with it? You can do it again.’

“With some people, though, you have to yell. It depends on the connection.”

ON ANGER

“Some instructors train their fighters to be angry,” he says. “I don’t like my fighters to get angry before a match. When you get angry, you drain your energy very quickly, and you can run out of gas.

“My style is to tell them to relax, that when the time comes, they’ll do the right thing. It’s a Buddhist attitude.”

Announcing the Greg Jackson Mixed Martial Arts Core Curriculum, an online course from Black Belt magazine and the world’s leading MMA coach! Learn the best fighting techniques, combinations and strategies on your tablet or smartphone. More info here!

ON THE BENEFITS OF STUDYING

Much of the payoff of training in muay Thai isn’t about learning how to kick and punch, Master Toddy says. “It’s about the spirit, as well as discipline and mental training. That’s why we have the pra jiad, or armband.

“We used to cut the clothes of our mother and father to make it. Then we would wrap them together with a small Buddha. If I hit your arm, it was weak. But if you wrapped the band around your arm first, you wouldn’t get hurt. It’s all psychology. That’s one reason we have to honor tradition. Muay Thai is not too much about religion; it’s more spiritual.”

ON IRONY

“Thailand is one of the hottest countries in the world,” he says. “How do I train my people to compete there? I turn the heater on in the gym here. I put them in hot water before they go so they get used to the ‘pressure’ of the heat and humidity.”

ON BASEBALL BATS

“I always try to encourage my students, but I punish them, too,” Toddy says. “I have a baseball bat, and sometimes I hit them until they do things right.” (laughs)

Read Part 1 here.

Robert W. Young is the editor-in-chief of Black Belt.

from Black Belt» Daily » Black Belt http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/traditional-martial-arts-training/muay-thai/improve-your-muay-thai-now-how-master-toddy-trains-champions-part-2/