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md-admissions · 4 years

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2020 (The dumpster fire) in review

I’m BACK after a long, long year. I’m working on figuring out the evolution of this page/blog. It’s brought me a lot of joy over the years and I want it grow as I grow. What that means, I’m trying to sort out.

But for now...let’s talk about THE year.

1 - What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?

Survive a pandemic, publish in JAMA, start teletherapy, enjoy dating, kiss someone while sober, I ALSO KINDA DATED SOMEONE, GUYS! Got broken up with, healing from the break up, started a twitter, took on leadership roles I’ve never taken on, took my ID Boards exam, gave job talks, interviewed for jobs remotely, bought a recording microphone, lost 50 pounds (intentionally!!). Started a master’s degree, QUIT the degree program. 2 - Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept 5 out of 7 of my New Years resolutions!! So I’m absolutely making more.

3 - Did anyone close to you give birth?

Guys...nine people. Count ‘em. Nine people. All my close friends. Gave birth. Like...end me.

4 - Did anyone close to you die?

No but I knew many who died. Or bore witness.

5 - What countries did you visit?

I narrowly avoided country-passed quarantines in January as I flew back from Asia. Won’t say what countries for now.

6 - What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?

More progress in radical honesty, vulnerability, healing traumas that have held me back from creating healthy boundaries. More time with friends, more art, more music. More time unafraid to love and be loved. 7 - What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

11/4/2020. Took my ID boards that day.

8 - What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Publishing in JAMA with a colleague I have the privilege to call a phenomenal friend and the best collaborator I’ve ever had.

9 - What was your biggest failure?

Waiting so long to finally hear my inner voice tell me that master’s degree wasn’t where or who I was anymore 10 - Did you suffer illness or injury?

Minor things. 11 - What was the best thing you bought?

The lap desk I’m currently using. Or my noise cancelling headphones. 12 - Whose behavior merited celebration?

My ID division. We fucking came together during this horrible shit. I’ve never been prouder or felt closer to a group of colleagues. 13 - Whose behavior made you appalled or depressed?

Anti-maskers, most of the US government, the list is so long.

14 - Where did most of your money go?

Food and clothes. Clothes because I lost so much weight I needed new clothing

15 - What did you get really, really, really excited passionate about?

Excited feels like a strong word. I was passionate about many things. Passionate about BLM, PPE shortages, writing out my advanced directives. Mentoring during a pandemic, being a mentee during a pandemic. 16 - What song(s) will always remind you of 2020?

Betty Who: You’re In Love 17 - Compared to this time last year, are you: I. Happier or sadder?

Sadder, but I know it’s the only way to feel after such an awful year. And that it will take me to a happier me as I continue to work through it. II. Thinner or fatter?

Thinner

III. Richer or poorer?

Richer.

18 - What do you wish you’d done more of?

Therapy 19 - What do you wish you’d done less of?

Think that I was alone and only I could solve my problems 20 - How will you be spending/spent christmas?

Christmas at home with some Chinese take-out and watching It’s a Wonderful Life

21 - Did you fall in love in 2020?

No but I learned to really like someone without becoming infatuated 22 - How many one-night stands?

Zero. 23 - What was your favorite tv program?

Next in Fashion, Legendary, Bridgerton, Giri/Haji, Castlevania

24 - Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Uh hell yeah 25 - What was the best book you read?

This is How you Lose the Time War 26 - What was your greatest musical discovery?

This will sound odd but...re-discovering my own love for singing and music 27 - What did you want and get?

To publish meaningful research, to break internal emotional barriers, to stop using food to address feelings and actually ADDRESS them, to make true friends 28 - What was your favorite film of this year?

Gosh...I don’t remember any this year. Was kinda...drowning in work

29 - What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32 and I got donuts for the infection control and stewardship departments that I work in! I ordered fancy Thai take out. I slept in. 30 - What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

No pandemic. A girl can dream.

31 - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?

LA pop/punk, but make it office 32 - What kept you sane?

The Ologies podcast. Intense talks with friends. 33 - Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

KEANU REEVES. ALWAYS. Especially this year.

34 - What political/social issue stirred you the most?

Black Lives Matter. 35 - Who did you miss?

My best friend. 36 - Who was the best new person you met?

For all the pain I’m currently going through, a guy I met at work who I maybe-kinda-sorta-dated for 2 months. I made some wild breakthroughs and grew a lot from it, even though it didn’t end the way I wanted. I’m grateful for the me that’s growing and becoming through that experience.

37 - Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020:

The best, most authentic people are vulnerable because it’s scary as fuck and necessary

#year in review #2020 in review #a dumpster fire year

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mikauzoran · 4 years

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Ask Game: Mikau’s Headcanons - This Should Be a Drinking Game

Anonymous asked:

5&6

Thank you for the ask! ^.^

(The questions are from this list. So far I’ve done five, six, eleven, and fifteen.)

5. What’s your favorite headcanon you use in fics?

Oh my gosh. There are so many headcanons. XD I was actually just thinking last night that I needed to compile a list and turn it into a drinking game or something.

Take a sip of tea every time:

1. Félix is Adrien’s older brother (eight years older). He left home at sixteen, married Marinette’s cousin Bridgette, and now lives in Marseille where he’s a homicide detective. Bri runs her own bakery. They have a daughter named Noëlle and a son on the way. Fé used to play the violin competitively growing up, and Adrien learned to play Danse Macabre and the first movement of Beethoven’s Kreutzer Sonata from him.

2. Émilie was a stage actress, and Adrien used to do the child roles in whatever production she was in, so he grew up backstage and going to the theatre to see his mum a lot. Her signature role was Viola in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. When Gabriel and Émilie met going to high school in Marseille, she was performing Viola and dragged him into being on the costume crew for the school play once she discovered he was an aspiring fashion designer.

3. Adrien decides to pursue a career in acting. He misses performing from when he did it with his mum when he was a kid, and it makes him feel connected to her. He likes getting to portray all kinds of different people and experiencing what it’s like to be someone else. It’s a safe space for him to experience emotions since expressing emotions was frowned upon in his home growing up. The roles he really wants to play are Jean Valjean from Les Mis, the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera, Elphaba from Wicked, and Viola from Twelfth Night.

4. Adrien is originally left-handed but has learned to be ambidextrous. This is my hill to die on, and you can fight me over it. ^w^ It’s probably just production error/the creators not really caring, but I’ve noticed several times in canon where Adrien has been shown doing things left-handed. (I mean, he uses his right hand for things too, but...) In Origins, when he’s walking to class and signing autographs left and right, he does so with his left hand. In Marchand de Sable/Sandman when he’s doing homework in his room, his writing supplies are on his left side. (I just want some left-handed representation. Is that too much to ask? ;-;)

5. Adrien is biromantic asexual. Even when I pair him with Marinette, he’s never not bi. I don’t always write him as ace; sometimes he’s bisexual in my works, but I could see canon Adrien as ace.

6. Adrien’s comfort foods are mint tea and salad. When he was little, when he or Émilie had a bad day, she would kick the kitchen staff out of the kitchen, and they would make a big salad and some mint tea and enjoy it together. Now that she’s gone, he has mint tea and/or salad when he’s feeling down, and it’s comforting because it reminds him of his mother.

7. Adrien is a total anime nerd. He grew up relatively isolated from the outside world, so he learned about life and “normal”/“acceptable” human behaviour from Disney movies and anime. He’s always wanted to be a Disney princess and a magical girl. He was really inspired by Disney and anime protagonists who overcame the difficulties in their lives to achieve their dreams and find happiness and love. He has a lot of strong, female role models, starting with his mum, so he tends to identify with female characters more strongly than male characters.

8. Adrien is a polyglot. Obviously, he knows French, and he’s learned English because it’s required. Chinese lessons are canonical. He taught himself Japanese so that he could read manga and watch anime in the original (and pass it off as “studying”). He also speaks Russian (see “9″ below). He doesn’t speak Italian, but he has a passing familiarity with the language. He knows some phrases from opera from watching it himself and his mum’s career. He has some of his favourite portions memorized. He can insult someone’s sartorial choices in Italian from listening to his father do so on trips to Milan for business, and he knows survival phrases, but he can’t actually construct sentences or have conversations. He just hasn’t invested himself in it.

9. Adrien’s bodyguard’s name is Victor (really Viktor, but he uses the French spelling to fit in). He’s originally from Russia and still has family there. The reason why he doesn’t speak is because, even though he understands French just fine, he’s self-conscious about speaking it because of his accent. He’s also afraid to make mistakes, especially in front of Gabriel who is not a patient or tolerant man. Victor taught Adrien Russian, so now they can speak together, and no one knows what they’re saying. (Nathalie has picked up a little bit here and there, but not enough to have conversations.) Victor calls Adrien Adrianka. (It’s the Russian diminutive.)

10. Nathalie speaks a little bit of Mandarin Chinese. Her tones are so-so, but she can get her point across. She learned from listening in on Adrien’s lessons so that she could make sure he stayed on top of his curriculum. When Adrien has to miss Chinese lessons on short notice, Adrien’s teacher works with Nathalie instead.

11. Luka loves all music, not just rock or punk like we’ve seen on the show. I mean, the guy is portrayed as music being his whole life, right? He came to music through rock and roll because that’s what he was exposed to through his mother and her music career, but if you dig into the music and look at its history, where it came from, what inspired it, you start wandering back through time until you get to the big names of classical concert music. Luka is an inquisitive, thoughtful guy. I can see him digging into the roots of the music he grew up with and finding all sorts of cool influences. I can see him learning about and experimenting with different types/genres of music.

12. In university, Luka studies Literature with an emphasis on nineteenth and twentieth century Russia. Why? Below is excerpted from my response to a comment asking about this point.

Especially in the nineteenth century during the height of Romanticism, a lot of literary elements and themes made their way into classical music. Program music uses literary texts as a base and illustrates the story with music. Composers drew from the Russian literary tradition as well, particularly in opera. Tchaikovsky's The Queen of Spades is based on Pushkin's short story, and I just found out a month ago that Shostakovich turned Gogol's short story The Nose into an opera. In the arts, one thing always leads to another. It's like looking up something on Wikipedia. Two hours later you've become an expert on botany or Balkan folk dance. I think Luka would dig into the sources of inspiration for the music he was consuming in order to better understand the works and as a means of getting inspiration himself.

So that's why Russian Literature. I think he'd eventually find his way to it through music. Then, once you find Tolstoy or Dostoyevsky, you really get sucked in. For me, those two have such a way of depicting real human beings and what it means to be human. They really get at deeper human truths. Anna Karenina, Crime and Punishment, and The Idiot really capture that essence for me. (War and Peace too to some extent, but not as much as the other three.) I think Luka would really be drawn to Russian literature too and come to love it for itself apart from the musical inspiration he was able to derive from it.

13. In his teens, Luka takes more of an interesting in the piano and falls in love with the violin. He adds piano and violin performance majors halfway through university and ends up becoming a professional solo pianist as well as a first violin with the Orchestre de Paris.

14. Luka wears reading glasses. I don’t think I’ve used this one much. Actually, I can’t find where I’ve used this at all. :/ Well. I suppose there will be no tea drinking at this time for this headcanon. ^.^;

15. Luka has tattoos. I don’t think I’ve gotten around to this one yet either. Adrien and Luka talk about possible tattoo ideas in Chapter Four of Nachtmusik, but... At any rate, the full extent of the tattoos would be a stylized snake on his pelvis, Odin’s raven’s on his shoulder blades, a stylized snake bracelet under his regular bracelets, and a Chat Noir paw print under his ring. So far the paw print is the only one that I’m one hundred percent positive that will happen. The stylized snake on the pelvis is pretty up there too because in the Jabberwocky/Daisy universe I was going to have Adrien and Marinette squabbling over Luka, and Adrien was going to say that he bet Marinette hadn’t seen Luka’s snake tattoo. When Marinette asks Luka where he has a snake tattoo and learns how low on Luka’s stomach it is, she’s left wondering what’s going on between Adrien and Luka. I’m undecided about the ravens and the snake bracelet.

16. The children are always named Hugo, Louis, and Emma, but the birth order depends upon the pairing. Lukadrienette have Hugo (biologically Luka’s), Emma (Adrien’s), and then Louis (Adrien’s). Lukadrien have Emma (Luka and Rose’s), Louis (Adrien and Rose’s), and then Hugo (Adrien and Juleka’s). Adrienette have Louis, Hugo, and then Emma.

Which is your favourite of my headcanons? Which one would you like to see more of? Did I miss any? ^.^;

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aaronmaurer · 4 years

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Music I Liked in 2020

Every year I reflect on the pop culture I enjoyed and put it in some sort of order.

I can’t say I discovered a lot of new artists in 2020, but I did find a lot of solace in new records by familiar voices. During days of intense isolation and lonesomeness, music provided support, hope and the occasional semblance of peace. I’m especially grateful for the musicians who found new ways to perform live from their home studios, once the entire touring industry completely shut down. I’m sure we all found our own rabbit holes, but live-streamed sets from the likes of Ben Gibbard, Jimmy Eat World’s Jim Atkins, Better Than Ezra’s Kevin Griffin, Geographer’s Michael Deni and Ben Folds kept me sane during April, May and beyond. As did all of these albums, which I highly recommend.

15. Serpentine Prison – Matt Berninger

The National frontman’s first solo record is a slow-burn that may not reach the heights of his work with his main group (or sideproject El Vy), but still has signature moments of poetic beauty. The title track is a clear standout (and when it gets stuck in your head, you can have fun brainstorming your own alternate non-sequitur couplets; examples: “Tripping on Molly / Salvador Dalí”, “Praying to Jesus / Ramona and Beezus” / “Sell it on Etsy / Heavens to betsy” / “Patio tables / Anne of Green Gables” It’s fun! Try it out!)

14. Local Honey – Brian Fallon

Speaking of Matt Berninger (and solo projects from alt-rock frontmen), I hear a lot of his influence on the latest from Gasoline Anthem’s Brian Fallon. This largely stripped-down affair has quiet splendor to spare and provided a balm in the early days of the pandemic.

13. Gigaton – Pearl Jam

Pearl Jam’s latest record finds the band operating in a variety of different modes – head-on rockers, balladeers, experimentalists – yet doesn’t quite gel into a whole the way their very best work does. That said, it’s an energetic album with many songs I look forward to hearing live, someday…

12. George Clanton & Nick Hexum – George Clanton & Nick Hexum

A vaporwave collaboration between electronic artist George Clanton and 311’s Nick Hexum? Really? Somehow it works, and its chill vibes were a perfect backdrop for lonely summer malaise this year.

11. Petals For Armor – Hayley Williams

Paramore’s Williams branched out on her first solo record this year, allowing her to operate in a variety of styles without losing her powerful voice. Moments of slinkily seething electronica (“Simmer”) share space with pop smarts (“Dead Horse”), quietly pretty harmonies (“Roses/Lotus/Violet/Iris”) and all points in between.

10. Mordechai and Texas Sun EP (with Leon Bridges) – Khruangbin

Houston psych-rock trio Khruangbin did double duty this year, first releasing a collaborative EP with Leon Bridges then following it up with a new full-length a couple months later. Both records hang in the air like hazy, languid summer heat, in the best possible way.

9. RTJ4 – Run the Jewels

RTJ4 is just as rollicking and propulsive as Killer Mike and El-P’s previous collabs, but with a greater sense of socially conscious urgency and righteous anger, giving it an even rawer power. Tracks like “Walking In The Snow,” “JU$T” and “a few words for the firing squad (radiation)” are just the tip of the iceberg on this incendiary record.

8. American Head – The Flaming Lips

American Head returns the Flaming Lips to the melodic soundscapes of The Soft Bulletin and Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, which is my preferred mode for the band, and thus is my favorite thing they’ve done in at least a decade. The record is a bit more dreamily melancholic than those earlier releases though, creating atmospheres of contemplative beauty.

7. Punisher – Phoebe Bridgers

Coming after collaborations with boygenius and Better Oblivion Community Center, it’s hard to believe this is only Bridgers’ sophomore album. Punisher takes the winning palette of Stranger In The Alps and mixes in more colors and texture. This is an album that rewards repeat listens; tunes that I had initially dismissed have ended up becoming my favorites as they get their hooks into me. The most immediate tracks like “Kyoto” and “ICU” don’t lose any impact over time, but the likes of the quietly devastating “Chinese Satellite” sneak up on you and gradually reveal their layers.

6. Imploding the Mirage – The Killers

I was done with The Killers. My interest always ran hot and cold anyway, but after 2017’s Wonderful Wonderful, no thanks. So imagine my surprise when I gave Imploding the Mirage a shot and found I LOVE it! It may be my favorite of their records yet, at least the most consistent, where they most fully realize the confluence of their Springsteen-tinged Americana fetish and electro-rock sensibilities. Bombastic 80s arena percussion and over-the-top synth flourishes combine in the best possible way. There’s not a dud on the album for me, but I’m especially fond of “My God,” “Lightning Fields” and “Dying Breed.”

5. The Ascension – Sufjan Stevens

The Ascension hits with similar energy to 2010’s polarizing Age of Adz, but with more easily accessible songs. It’s a dark and introspective record about disillusionment with America and oneself, but also highly danceable – if a bit overlong. Standout tracks like “Goodbye to All That” and “Lamentations” provide transcendent moments of soaring beauty like calm in the storm. And the brilliant title track plays like a self-interrogating rejoinder to Adz’s pep talk “Vesuvius” in which, instead of cheering himself on, Stevens probes and calls into question his motivations and beliefs.

4. Song Machine, Season One: Strange Timez – Gorillaz

The latest record from Damon Albarn’s ever-evolving cartoon collective is its most engaging since Plastic Beach, with a spirit of musical exploration that reminds me much of 2001’s self-titled debut as well. The project was introduced as a series of one-off singles, so what really surprises is just how well they cohere into a full record, featuring a plethora of A-List guest artists and Albarn holding down the fort with some of his best songwriting yet.

3. 10 Songs – Travis

Travis are a band that I’ve casually enjoyed (2001’s The Invisible Band is great) but never followed all that closely. I certainly wasn’t expecting much from a latter-day record from them, but 10 Songs is one of the 2020 releases I have returned to most. The songs are the audial equivalent of a warm blanket, with a lovely wistfulness permeating through. Standouts include “The Only Thing,” “A Million Hearts” and “Kissing in the Wind,” but all ten songs are great.

2. Devastator – Phantom Planet

Phantom Planet’s first record in 12 years doesn’t miss a beat, finding a sonic middle ground between their early indie-pop leanings and their later punkier direction. The hooks are plentiful and the lyrics poignant (this is basically a breakup album about the end of frontman Alex Greenwald’s relationship with Brie Larson), with highlights including the up-tempo “Only One” and the elegiac “Time Moves On.” Return of the year.

1. folklore and evermore – Taylor Swift

Top 40 Pop Music is not really my thing and while I’ve certainly appreciated some of Taylor Swift’s work before (Red has jams!), I wouldn’t have called myself a fan. 2020’s pair of surprise release records are a different mode of songwriting for her and right in my wheelhouse, with indie-leaning production courtesy of fun./Bleachers’ Jack Antonoff and The National’s Aaron Dessner. While my impressions of Swift’s past work have been navel-gazy and self-mythologizing (not a problem, but not that interesting to me), folklore and evermore broaden her storytelling to paradoxically become more specific in its universality and/or more universal in its specificity. The moments that are autobiographical (“mad woman,” “invisible string”) have an authenticity and self-assuredness that make them all the more accessible. This is romantically nostalgic poetry with the power to reopen old wounds and maybe also start rehealing them at the same time. While I still give folklore the edge (I love “august,” “exile” and mirrorball,” to name just a few), evermore is steadily growing on me with each listen.

Here’s a playlist songs from each of these records for your sampling pleasure:

Bonus! 2 Unexpected Cover EPs:

Switchfoot – Covers EP and Death Cab For Cutie – Georgia EP

As society grappled with lockdowns and concerts were uniformly cancelled the world over, many artists kept occupied with livestreams from their home studios. Switchfoot’s Jon Foreman and Death Cab’s Ben Gibbard were among those who posted daily songs or shows during the early days and their bands would each end up releasing EPs of cover songs during the year. Switchfoot take on a range of songs from the likes of Vampire Weekend, Frank Ocean and The Verve and Death Cab honor Georgia artists like R.E.M. and Neutral Milk Hotel for a Bandcamp fundraiser for voting rights. Both efforts provide some unexpected reinterpretations that elevate them above the average covers album.

#music

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fandomfanfics12 · 4 years

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We Are A Family-Part 27

Title: We Are A Family. Pairings: Steve x tony, Peter x Wade, Nat x Clint, Sam x Bucky. Part: 27/? Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, eventual smut, slowburn. Summary: When Nat comes into the avengers tower with baby Peter Parker, the avengers didn’t know what they were getting themselves into. But now that Peter is here,Steve and Tony both feel protective over him. It doesn’t help that Peter hates everyone other than Steve and tony. But as Steve and tony raise Peter, they start to fall for one another. Will this superfamily work out or will it all turn to hell? A/N: All i’m going to say is that we’re in the endgame now.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26

When tony walked inside the house, Chinese, ice cream, movie and tissues in hand. The boys were in the kitchen.

"Hey dad." Peter smiled as Tony walked in and Tony tilted his head to the side.

"I got dinner." Tony said and Wade stood up.

"I should get going. I don't want Al to worry about me." Tony's eyes looked Wade over and suddenly it seemed so obvious that he was sick; the bags underneath his eyes, the wrong skin complexion, the frailness of his body, his patchy hair. God, how had Peter reacted to the news?

"oh, well do you want me to drive you home?" Tony offered and Wade shook his head.

"no I'll be fine. Thank you sir." Wade said and Tony frowned.

"it's really no trouble." Tony offered again but Wade shook his head.

"I'll see you tomorrow Pete." Wade said and Peter nodded. Then Wade was out the door and gone.

"Peter?" Tony asked and Peter looked down at the floor.

"I don't want you to freak out, okay?" Tony nodded and sat down on the kitchen stool beside Peter, putting the food down on the island.

"Talk to me, what's up?" Tony took his hand and Peter met his eyes. He didn't look devastated, he was probably in shock.

"Wade and I had our chat, and you were right. it wasn't bad." Concern flooded through Tony. But then, maybe Wade had softened the blow? Made it seem like it wasn't as bad as it actually was?

"And?" Tony asked, not wanting to make this situation worse by saying something that he wasn't meant to.

"This is the part where I ask you not to freak out, okay? I've known for a while now about this and I know you'll be supportive but it's still hard to say." Tony nodded and forced a relaxed smile onto his face.

"I'm not gonna freak out, alright? I know things haven't been easy the last couple years. We've gone through a lot, we're all we've got and that's okay. Because you're my kid and I love you, whatever it is, I'm still going to love you. okay?" Peter nodded and began to bounce his knee.

"Wade and I, we're kind of together now." this was the absolute last thing Tony had expected.

"What?" Peter's head shot up and his eyes widened. Tony's voice had come out angry, and Peter looked panicked.

"I've known that I was gay for a while now, and you promised you wouldn't freak out!" Peter exclaimed but Tony shook his head.

"It's not, I just, what?" he couldn't believe this. May had told Tony that there was nothing that could be done. Wade had months, months. And here he was, preparing Peter's life to turn into a total shitshow.

"Wade and I are together, I thought you of all people would be supportive about this." Tony squeezed his eyes shut. three hours ago he'd been hoping for this. he'd expected this, but now that this was happening?

"no." The word slipped out and Peter flinched. Was he supposed to tell Peter, was he supposed to keep this secret?

"No?" Peter asked and Tony gritted his teeth. He stood up and began to pace, Peter anxiously watched him. He wanted to protect Peter, he didn't want to lie to Peter about this. but he didn't want to break Peter's heart either. He couldn't forbid Peter from seeing Wade, not if he only had a few months left. To say Tony was between a rock and a hard place would have been the biggest fucking understatement of the century.

"Steve would know what to do about this." Tony whispered and again Peter flinched. But Tony knew he was right. Steve would know what to do about this. He'd be able to tell Peter, or he'd talk to Wade. He'd have a solution.

"Dad?" Peter asked softly, his eyes shone with tears.

"Pete I am happy for you, really. I've been rooting for you and Wade to get together for years. Steve and I used to joke about it all the time, it's just..." Tony trailed off.

"just what?" Time. Tony needed time to think about this, time to figure out his next move. His plan.

"I'm gonna put a pause on the movie. Can you go do some homework for a bit? I promise we can talk about this, I just need to figure something out." Tony pleaded and Peter sighed.

"you're keeping a secret, aren't you?" Tony nodded.

"I'm gonna fix this problem and then I promise I'll tell you everything. Just trust me, alright?" Peter hesitated and then nodded.

"Alright."

Three hours passed and Tony hadn't called for Peter. Peter couldn't sit still. Couldn't focus on his homework. Not when all he could think about was how poorly his dad had taken the situation. Steve would know what to do about this. God, every time his dads mentioned each other, it sent shockwaves through Peter's body. Back to a time when things had been normal. Before the fights and the broken furniture, before the divorce. Peter's mind flashed back to the wedding, how frantic his pops had been, how desperately he'd asked for Tony.

"what are you two hiding?" Peter whispered to himself and then the house phone rang. Peter ran out of his room but watched as his dad answered.

"Stark residence." Tony said and Peter stumbled. That was new. His whole life it had been "Stark-Rogers residence". Peter watched his dad's face and knew that whoever had called, they didn't have good news.

"Dad?" Peter asked as Tony hung up the phone. He seemed frozen and his eyes lifted to meet Peter's.

"Put on some shoes and grab your coat." Tony said and his voice shook a little. Peter did as told and his dad checked that everything was locked and all the lights were off.

"Dad?" Peter asked again as he put on his seatbelt. Tony began driving, his hands shook ever so slightly. The nervous energy was enough to make Peter feel nauseous.

"That was the hospital." Shit.

"And?" Peter's mind was racing with lists of names of people in the avengers. But from his dad's reaction, he knew it was someone important. Someone close to them.

"And, uh, well..." his dad was stalling, and they both knew it. this was really bad then.

"It's okay, I'm not a kid anymore. I can handle it." Peter said and Tony tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

"It's Wade." Peter's brows rose and the whole world slowed down.

"I don't understand." Peter said and Tony nodded his head, his knuckles were now white on the steering wheel.

"I know kid, but we'll get this sorted. Alright?"

"what happened?" Peter asked and Tony turned a corner.

"Well that's harder to explain." The nervous energy increased and for a moment Peter thought he might actually be sick.

"Spit it out." Peter ground out and Tony's eyes darted to Peter.

"Pete?"

"I'm fine. Tell me what's going on." Peter said and Tony sighed, eyes returned back to the road. The hospital was in sight now.

"Wade's been diagnosed with cancer. It's in his liver, prostate, lungs and brain. The doctors think he only has a few months left. That's what he was supposed to tell you tonight." It felt like Peter's head exploded. No fucking way. This couldn't be happening. Not to Peter, not to Wade.

"No." he whispered and Tony's hand reached over and squeezed Peter's knee.

"I'm so sorry kid." He whispered and Peter bit his fist to stop a sob from escaping.

Tony's heart broke for Peter. And even though things had been absolutely devastating with Steve-he wished he was here to support Peter. Steve would know what to say to make this better. Tony found himself thinking as he pulled into a parking spot. The two of them sat in the car for a while, Peter desperately tried to calm down.

"How long have you known?" his voice was small, weak.

"I only found out tonight. I called May to see what she knew and she met me at the Chinese place. I'm so sorry Peter." Peter nodded his head and took a deep breath.

"So that's why he was staying with May? So she could take care of him?" Tony nodded his head.

"Al wanted to, but with her sight issues she couldn't manage it. He's wanted to tell you, but he didn't know how." Peter nodded and unbuckled his seat belt.

"so is he..." Peter couldn't finish his sentence.

"He's alive. He collapsed on the walk over here. He's been staying here for a couple weeks now." Peter nodded his head and then got out the car. Tony got out, locked the car, and followed Peter inside of the hospital. May was waiting for them.

"Hey." She pulled Peter into a tight hug.

"I told him." Tony said and May nodded.

"He's okay. Just tired, he's asking for you." she told Peter who nodded.

"He's okay?" his voice wobbled and May nodded.

"Yeah, he's just tired. But he really wants to talk to you. this nurse will take you to him." She motioned to a lady hovering nearby. Peter nodded and left without looking back.

"How'd he take it?" May asked and Tony shook his head.

"Not well, actually, pretty well. As well as you could take this situation." Tony said and she nodded.

"Are you okay?" she asked and Tony took a deep breath.

"No. it's times like these that I'm reminded why I didn't want to do this alone."

"Steve would know what to say." May said and Tony nodded.

"He was good with Peter in the tough times, wasn't he?" Tony nodded and crossed his arms.

"Yeah. But you're good with him too." May said and Tony nodded.

"I know, I just, Steve had a way with Peter. In the beginning, Peter picked us. There was never a doubt in his mind that he belonged with us." At that May smiled fondly.

"I remember when he was just a baby, Ben and I had taken him back. I remember the look on Steve's face when he held Peter in his arms, and I felt so guilty for separating the two of them." She shook her head.

"I remember that day." Tony smiled as he thought back to when he'd been in his workshop. Steve had angled his body so that Tony hadn't been able to see Peter. The excitement at the three of them, getting to be together, even if only for a few hours. Despite Tony's newfound happiness, he longed for the ability to go back to that time, to be able to be that happy again. To be with Steve again.

But that would never be Tony's reality, Steve had moved on. Had created this new reality for them all. He'd told Tony that it had been a mistake to choose this life, he'd picked Bucky and that was that.

Peter felt like he was about to projectile vomit. Not just from his own tirade of nerves and emotions, but also from all the emotions of everyone in the hospital. The nurse led him to Wade's room. Which was practically bare apart from the record player and the Wham! album.

"Peter?" Wade was in bed, in a hospital gown and Peter's heart broke a little more.

"Hey Wade." He sat down on the edge of the bed and Wade smiled. The nurse checked his vitals and then left.

"Who told you?" he asked, staring up at the ceiling.

"Dad, May told him." Peter hated how his voice shook with each word.

"I wanted to tell you. there were so many times where I wanted to. So many times where I almost did, but you were the last normal thing in my life. And your life hasn't been great lately and I didn't want to add to that."

"You should have told me."

"When? Between your dads getting a divorce and the nightmare wedding, there wasn't exactly a good opportunity." Peter scowled and shook his head.

"You should have told me anyway. We could have figured something out." Wade shook his head.

"that's why I didn't tell you! every part of my life, it was all about cancer. My time with May, all we talked about was cancer. Whenever Al was there, it was all about cancer. There was doctors and nurses constantly fussing over me, all our teachers would pull me aside and tell me not to worry because I'm dying. It was constantly shoved in my face and then there was you. and all you wanted to talk about was my shit taste in music. And I know it was shitty of me to not tell you what was going on, but I just wanted a little bit of normalcy." Peter nodded, tears in his eyes.

"I'm not mad at you. I just wish you'd told me."

"Would you have kissed me if I had told you?" Wade asked and Peter inhaled sharply.

"Was that real? Or were you just trying to distract me from this?" Peter asked, unable to look at Wade.

"Fuck, of course it was real. I didn't lie to you, not when it concerned us." Wade took Peter's hand and Peter felt relief wash through him.

"Good." He curled up next to Wade, resting his head on Wade's chest. Wade wrapped an arm around Peter and they breathed one another in.

"Everything's different now, isn't it?" yes. Peter thought.

"No." Peter said.

"Liar."

"We're the same. You and I, we'll always stay the same." Peter whispered, he'd figure something out. His dad would find a way to fix this. and then they'd be together. Because Peter couldn't imagine his life without Wade. Whatever future he pictured for himself, Wade was there in it.

Long after lights out, long after Peter was gone, a man in a suit stepped inside Wade's room.

"Wade Wilson?" the man asked and Wade sat up in his bed.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked, readying to press the nurse button.

"I'm a man who can help. My boss took a look at your file, and he can cure you of this." Wade rose his brows.

"Bullshit."

"I wouldn't lie to you about this Mr Wilson. We have an opportunity for you to get cured of your illness, but you have to come with me right now." Wade thought of Peter, his mind reeling.

"okay."

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oediex · 4 years

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49 Questions You Have Never Been Asked tagmeme

I got tagged by @jarakrisafis a while back and since I liked theirs and @felassan‘s replies so much, I figured I’d do it.

Uhm, I guess I’ll tag @blarrghe, @lovegoesalongway, @sleepbeliever, @localwhiskeylez, @silverslitherer and @spontaneoustangent. If they’re up for it. Always fun to get to know people better.

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

Well, it’s bamboo, so I guess it’s light brown. It’s completely worn, though, I need to get a new one.

2. A food you never eat?

Animals.

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Neither! I guess I know how to dress myself? When I sleep, I’m usually too hot though.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Feeding my babies.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

I... don’t have one? I don’t eat candy. Love chocolate, though. As dark as it gets.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sporting event?

No. I find it quite boring. Would have more fun doing the sporting myself.

7. What was the last thing you said out loud?

Telling the dogs to come back inside so I could go back to my nap.

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

Chocolate-flavoured and cruelty-free.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Orange juice! I usually drink orange juice with my meals because it helps with iron uptake from my food. :)

10. Do you like your wallet?

I do, actually. One wallot, for my cards, is actually a little sleeve that once held sugar beans, which are given in Belgium when a child is born. And the wallet that holds my cash is a little sort of folding coin pouch with a clickety lid? Kind of like this. But with a different pattern. It was probably a gift or a souvenir at some point in my teenage years? My previous wallet, which was made from a drink carton and given to my by a couchsurfer, (and that I really really liked as well, by the way) truly started falling apart at some point (I really held on to it for a long time but then my coins started falling through the holes, so I had to admit that was the end), so I needed to find a new wallet and didn’t really want to buy one. And then I found these two little pouches that I’d kept around for a while without using them but thinking they’d be useful someday, and I found that one was perfect for my cards and the other for my coins! Wow, who’d have thought this question would get the longest answer???

11. What was the last thing you ate?

I made gazpacho for lunch. :) And then I had some ‘fun cereal’ (as my ex-housemate used to call his unhealthy cereal) as a sort of dessert.

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

No. I haven’t bought new clothes in years. I buy almost all of my clothes second-hand. If we’re counting that as new clothes ... yeah, it’s still been a while.

13. The last sporting event you watched?

Ha! Like, on tv? Okay, I guess a couple of years back, when I lived in England, a friend invited me to come watch the finale of Wimbledon? I think?

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

There’s no such thing.

15. Who was the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. My parents came around to bring something on their way to the zoo that’s around my corner.

16. Ever go camping?

We used to go on a camping vacation every year when I was a kid. I don’t really do vacations anymore. I enjoy being at home. :)

17. Do you take vitamins?

Is iron a vitamin? I take those sometimes. I’ve also taken vitamin D in the past and in the winter I might take some once a month. So far, I haven’t had to take any vitamin B12, somehow my body has enough stored or something? We’ll see what the test says in a couple of months. Last year’s blood test, my doctor also said something about my calcium being a bit low, so might have to take that one soon as well, if that’s still the case.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

No. Never did. Technically I’m catholic but I don’t take communion anymore when I’m in a church for weddings or funerals.

19. Do you have a tan?

Omg, no. I’m so pale people often ask me if I’m feeling okay.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

PIZZA. The cruelty-free kind. I don’t mind Chinese food, though, especially since I’m vegan. Give me all the vegetables!

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don’t ever use a straw.

22. What color socks do you usually wear?

I rarely wear socks because I’m usually barefoot... When I do, they are a variety of colors and patterns. Usually, when I need some new ones, I put them on my Christmas/birthday list and see what my family comes up with. Once, when I was a teenager, my parents bought me Harry Potter socks and to this day, those are the coolest socks I’ve ever owned.

23. Ever drive above the speed limit?

I don’t drive, so no.

24. What terrifies you?

The fact that I’ve started lowering the dose of one of my antidepressants. I’m very very scared to fall back into a depressive episode. I’ve been episode-free for 2 years now.

25. Look to your left what do you see?

The back of the couch I’m lying on. The book Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks is lying on top of it, because I’ve just finished it. It was excellent.

26. What core do you hate?

So, I think this is meant to say “what chore do you hate”, so I’ll just answer that question. I don’t enjoy cleaning the bathroom. It’s a lot of work. The rest of the house is fine.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

Well, currently, as I’ve been watching The Good Place with my housemate, it reminds me of the part of that show that takes place in Australia.

28. What is your favorite soda?

Soda is a soft drink, right? I really like cola. But I drink it rarely. I prefer the organic kind they have at the farm where I get my vegetables. I really like Coca Cola too, but I don’t like the company so I try to avoid buying that.

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive through?

I never ever go to a fast food place.

30. Who was the last person you talked to?

The dogs that live in my house, when I told them to come back inside. See question 7. I mean, in a way, those two questions are kind of the same?

31. Favorite cut of beef?

The kind that doesn’t exist.

32. Last song you listened to?

Pfoo, probably something by Billy Lockett?

33. Last book you read?

Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks! It’s a book about a village in the 1600s that goes into quarantine (voluntarily!) when the plague arrives from London in a box of cloth. It’s based on real events! The village’s name is Eyam. Look it up. :) Next book I’ve already started is the last book in the Earth’s Children series by Jean M. Auel, The Land of Painted Caves. I started the series about a year ago!

34. Favorite day of the week?

All days are the same to me. :) I guess I like weekdays, because then I have the house to myself (well, excluding the dogs that live here and the foster kittens that might be hanging around too.)

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can, actually. I once had to do this as a challenge at a Scouting Summer camp and I can do it ever since. In English I’m a little slower than in Dutch, though.

36. How do you like your coffee?

Non-existent.

37. Favorite pair of shoes?

No shoes. Barefoot is the best.

38. At what time do you usually go to bed?

Around 10pm.

39. At what time do you normally get up?

Around 8 or 9. I bring my housemate’s kid to school.

40. What do you prefer - sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets, because I’m usually not around for sunrises.

41. How many blankets are on your bed?

Currently, just a duvet sheet (without the duvet) and one blanket. By winter time, I want to have figured out how to use multiple blankets instead of a duvet, because I always get so hot while I’m sleeping and I hate it. So I want to get rid of my duvet.

42. Describe your kitchen plates?

Well. Only one of the kitchen plates here is mine? All the others are my housemates’. So the one that is mine has a ladybird on it. It was a gift once. I like ladybirds.

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?

Wine. Mostly red. Sometimes white. Never rosé.

44. Do you play cards?

No?

45. Can you change a tire?

On my bicycle, I can. I don’t do cars.

46. What is your favorite province?

Can’t say I have one.

47. Favorite job you ever had?

Teaching philosophy at university. :)

48. How did you get your biggest scar?

Well, when I was about 8, I was cycling down a hill with my dad on my way to a Scouting meeting. For some reason it was just me that day - I guess my sisters didn't have a meeting that day or mine was on a different day than usual. And so we were cycling down the hill and going very fast, like in the 30s km/h. I remember my dad commenting on that. And at the bottom of the hill, a pedestrian path was reintroduced, where beforehand there was only a cycling path. So as I was a kid, I moved to go cycling on the pedestrian path. And there was a little difference in height and somehow my wheels slipped and I fell really hard on the sidewalk. I remember sitting on the doorstep of a house there with my dad. I was crying very hard. And I had cuts and bruises all over. One of those bruises was on my hand, on my wrist. About the size of a £2 coin, but oval, not round. It wasn’t bleeding, but it was grazed pretty deeply and you could see the blood was just underneath the skin. We cycled on to the Scouting meeting place, because it was pretty close by, where they cleaned me up. They asked if I wanted to stay then, but I didn’t, so we cycled back home and I spent the rest of that day resting in the garden in the sun. I vividly remember this. Anyway, long story short, that became a pretty big scar. A part of my skin that was always a bit darker than the rest. Kind of looked like a birth mark. Now, at 31 years old, it’s pretty faded, but since I know where it is, I can still see it a bit.

49. What did you do today that made someone happy?

Well, I’ve mostly been home alone. But, I did make my foster kittens pretty happy by feeding them. :) And they make me pretty happy with their cuteness and cuddles.

#tag #tag meme #fun!#I think this is the first time I've ever done?#about me

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rafaelafranzen · 5 years

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In which I answer many questions about books

I came across this survey from @drawlight and I thought it’d be fun to fill! Fun fact: I’ve been an unabashed devotee of literature and stories all my life and am a stalwart champion of connecting people with stories – I’ve spent most of the last decade attending and volunteering at literature festivals and crossed fingers, am trying to get a job there. I don’t do the tagging thing, but if you’d like to fill this tag me back so I can discover your literary world!

I, like everyone else, am drowning in Good Omens right now, including the script book and original publication, so I’ll omit them from my responses for a bit of variety.

1. What book are you reading now?

Kraken – China Miéville. Yet another book about an impending apocalypse set in London, because I’m a sucker for undercurrents of fantasy in places I’ve walked in. This one’s a dark comedy about a squid-worshiping cult, where the initiating event for The End of the World is a forty-foot giant squid specimen being stolen from the Natural History Museum.

2. What are your favourite books?

I’m a bit of an odd duck in that my favourites change all the time at different points in my life. I hate to do the thing where you divide things up by genre because I think stories are valid in so many shapes and forms but it’s an easy shorthand – a few top favourites:

Literary Fiction: Spill, Simmer, Falter, Wither – Sara Baume (a book about a misfit man who brings a misfit dog into his life. I’ll never get tired of recommending this. The poetic turn of prose in this book is astonishing, and I’m reminded of it every time I read something by Drawlight, actually).

SF/F: Neverwhere – Neil Gaiman (again pushes all my right buttons with undercurrents of another world in places I’ve been) and The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories by Ken Liu – the titular story in this anthology made me cry on the train, in public – you can find it in full here. It’s a quick and heartbreaking read about the tenuous relationship one so often has with their parents.

Short Story: The Great Hargeisa Goat Bubble – Julian Gough (A economic satire and the first fiction piece ever published by the Financial Times, which was subsequently adapted to a Radio Play by the BBC which is also available in the link if you prefer listening. Will make you clutch your sides with laughter, teach you about securitizations, futures and hedge funds and global market forces without the need for you to get a degree in economics first, and ensure you never look at goats the same way again.)

3. How did you learn to read?

Other than the obvious – school, my mother used to take me to the library each weekend when I was a kid and let me borrow 4 books using my library card, and another 4 books with hers. I’d devour all 8 and rinse and repeat the next weekend.

4. What foreign languages do you read?

I studied Chinese as my second language for 12 years and subsequently lost pretty much all of it due to lack of usage after. I can still muddle my way through a menu but that’s about it.

5. What’s the funniest book you ever read?

The Teenage Textbook – Adrian Tan (I’m sure I’ve read plenty since that are better, but this is always the first one I think of. A bit of local nostalgia.)

6. What books have changed the way you look at the world or the way you live your life?

Without a doubt, This Is What Inequality Looks Like by Teo You Yenn. It is a non-fiction book told through the lens of people in poverty, and just as equally, from vantage point of the privileged, us folk who are more or less living in the median of society and the different frames of ‘common sense’ that need to be considered from these perspectives. It is a book about how acknowledging poverty and inequality leads to uncomfortable revelations about our society and ourselves. And it is about how once we see, we cannot, must not, unsee. It is a book that might sober you up for the rest of your life.

It was one of the books heavily drawn on to produce a play titled “Underclass” which I once described to a friend as “the wokest shit sandwich you’ll ever eat”, and I mean this in the best kind of way – it’s the most difficult pill I was ever made to swallow. It left me questioning every assumption I had about poverty, inequality and human dignity, left me squirming and uncomfortable in the way we gloss over the marginalized, and forced me to ask hard questions about the systems of society and who provides for those who fall through the cracks. I saw it a year ago and I still can’t stop thinking about it.

7. What books have affirmed what you believe about life or the way you look at things?

Not entirely sure how to answer this one, I take away bits from every book and media property I encounter. I suppose if I would recommend anything, especially from the perspective of a writer, that rejection is par for the course so long as you keep forging on, and keep at it, then Stephen King’s On Writing. And on the love for the parts of your life that are odd, glorious and to be cherished, Sue Perkins Spectacles. Her letter to her dog Pickles in the book, available here, is one of the greatest confessions of adoration I’ve ever read, and will speak to every love you’ve held close in your life)

8. What are some of the scariest books you ever read?

To be frank I don’t read much horror, though I used to as a kid. I don’t have enough memory of any specifics to give titles.

9. About how many books do you think you have read in your life?

I’ve not the slightest idea. Probably hundreds.

10. About how many books do you own?

Currently, probably between 50-100, only limited by my bookshelf and now much it can hold. Most of my major book-purchases come around during the Singapore Writers Festival, so annually I drop between $100-200 on new books signed by authors I’ve met in person. Every 2-3 years I cycle out books from my bookshelf I no longer care to go back to and donate it to the book exchange shelf in my local library to make room for new titles.

12. How much would you say you’ve paid in library fines in your life?

Probably less than $5. I’m pretty neurotic about returning things on time.

11. How many books per month do you usually borrow from the library?

Probably less than one to be honest, but when the Writers Festival swings around, loads, to get an advance look at the authors that are coming I may enjoy the work of. Nowadays I usually buy my books.

13. Do you read in bed?

A resounding yes. It’s how I screwed up my eyesight as a kid!

14. Do you ever read while walking or driving?

Sometimes when walking but often I’m just scrolling reddit or catching up on current affairs and UK politics (I don’t live there but I can’t help following it). I don’t drive but I do read books when I commute on public transport.

15. OK, let’s get real. Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever read a book?

What, pray, be a strange place to read a book?

16. Do you listen to audiobooks?

Not particularly, as I find I can absorb information much faster reading words on a page. I also find it hard to multitask when something’s being read out because I want to pay attention to the story. I do, however, listen to radio plays adapted from books!

17. Has anyone ever read aloud to you or you to them?

Plenty, being on the receiving end of readings from many authors from attending the Writers Festival and events at independent bookstores. For me reading: loads of times workshopping my own work while I was pursuing my creative writing minor in university.

18. What was the most difficult book to read?

I attempted Lolita by Nabokov when I was about 14 or 15 and don’t think I got past the first 50 pages.

19. What books do you intend to read but keep putting off?

Craptons. Including the aforementioned Good Omens which I’ve owned for 7 years but never finished. Others that have been sitting on my shelf for the longest time now include The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and The Book of Dust by Phillip Pullman (Lyra, my chosen name that I now use professionally, came from the protagonist of Pullman’s His Dark Materials). As you can see my stable of books mainly tend towards SF/F.

20. Do you buy new or used books, paperbacks or hardcovers, leather or collector’s?

Absolutely! I buy mostly new – see Writers Festival book acquisitions from the earlier question. Mostly paperbacks but occasionally hardcovers if the price difference isn’t too dear. Secondhand bookstores are a dying trade here so I don’t get much opportunity to shop for used. I’m also constantly wary about how much room I have on my shelves and pick my purchases carefully. I usually don’t buy collectors editions because I don’t like having to be precious with my books - they’re there to enjoy, to crack the spines in and get their corners banged up from being hastily stuffed into bags. With special editions I feel an odd obligation to keep them pristine.

21. How do you feel about writing in books?

Depends. If it’s a book I specifically want for reference, especially non-fiction I don’t mind marking them up. Otherwise I typically don’t.

22. Do you lend books?

I do! There have been books I’ve lent out for years and not sought back though. I do prefer to get them back eventually because books I do keep on my shelves usually hold the memory of the time I had with them, and are usually paperback editions whose covers I enjoyed and are no longer in print. It never feels quite the same to just get a new copy.

23. What were your favourite books as a child?

I read with such volume and variety when I was a child I actually hardly remember specific titles. I’m sure there was Dahl in there somewhere. An awful lot of Blyton and Nancy Drew/Famous Five which are now horrendously outdated but from which I still hold onto fond imagined memories of British summer days and mysterious nights, which are experiences I still sort of seek out when I go to the UK on rambles or hikes.

24. What children’s books do you enjoy as an adult or young adult?

If we’re talking specifically Children’s books and not YA, almost anything written by Kes Gray (Oi Frog!/The Trouble with Daisy series) and Julian Gough (Rabbit and Bear series, whose first book is a great introduction to the concept of gravity, hibernation, and the nutrition of rabbit poo). I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Terry Pratchett’s Discword series, which includes several YA titles but even the main books in the series are fantastic reading for kids I think.

25. Do you ever read the ending first?

Oh gosh, why would anyone do that to themselves?

26. grab the book nearest to you (I picked something non-GO related), go to page 29 and type line 17 (if there isnt a line 17 type line 3)

“You always tell me that when someone is special, then the system has to make an exception." Connect (Julian Gough) – a cheeky one-of a kind signed edition I got from Julian’s apartment in Berlin when I visited him a couple months ago, combining the UK book jacket with US deckled-edge hardback. He started out as a writer I admired, then a mentor, and is now a fond friend.

#personal #wew long post is long #it was fun to look back and think about the books that were notable to me though!

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thebritishblabbermouth · 6 years

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Jungkook Fanfiction- BTS Mafia AU

Heyya :))

@atricksterwithwings requested a beautiful BTS mafia au, and I loved writing this for her. I’ve split it into three parts. Scroll down for the first and for the link to the latter.

A/N: I’ve mentioned Zhang Yixing in this fanfiction aside from the other BTS members. Its totally okay if you dont know who he is...although you probably do, he’s like such a popular sheep ;) Find information about him here .

Tell me your thoughts on this fanfic, Id love to receive any sort of feedback on my work and I totally think that likes and reblogs are recognition too :) Have fun reading, I know I really enjoyed writing this :) Its like 12 pages long on a word doc...idek anymore xP Jungkook is gorgeous. :)

Also...there is cursing in this, mention of the mafia from different nationalities and part two and three are rated M (its smutty xP) Reader discretion is advised if any of these things bother you.

Lots of love :) <3 - Enjoy :)

PART 2

PART 3 (final)

Jeon Jungkook stood at the 77th floor of Euphoria, the headquarters to the largest crime syndicate east of the Pacific Ocean. The height was dizzying for most, but not for him.

Jungkook had no fears; or so was assumed.

The man himself, was built at an impressive 6 feet and constituted of raw muscle, protein and a rather cynical approach towards life. Outwardly, the leader of the most legal crime syndicate was cold, intimidating and the type to burn you to ashes with a glare from his heated eyes.

Inwardly, he was exactly the same.

He was well aware of the effect he had on his employees, men and women who knew exactly of his affiliation with the Japanese Yazuka and the Italian Camorra yet pined to work under Jeon, the sheer power of his company bringing everyone to their knees with respect.

Euphoria was a giant.

It had dealings with government run telemarketing firms, banks, real estate agencies, alongside finance and technology markets. An easy way to convert money earned through extortion, gambling and trafficking to its pure and pristine form. The corrupt politicians whose elections he had funded didn’t complain. No one cared where the money came from and no one dared to ask otherwise. The cause of the founder’s formidable aura wasn’t a secret. Everyone knew how he had been tortured by his father, abandoned on the streets by a mother who seemed to love Heroin more than her own son. The story had been plastered all over the internet, and Jungkook would never deny reading through its many exaggerated versions. They were entertaining and did well to remind himself about how important money and power were, without those weapons, he too would be sitting in a room, writing about a life that belonged to someone else.

Materialism was reality and wealth- it’s currency.

~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’Sir, your coffee…’’ you said, walking through the office doors, a skip in your stride. There was no knock. No hint of awkwardness, no aspect of fear in the way she spoke. If anything there was the undertone of coercion, almost coaxing the man to leave his billion dollar thoughts in the gutter and focus solely on the warm drink.

Your playful extortion had worked, he was focused. Just not on the coffee.

Three months ago, Euphoria had issued an internal opportunity- PA to Jeon Jungkook. The post received 3 applications from his 20,000 employees. Min Yoongi, his chief of finance and operations took to appointing the least qualified of the bunch, a woman- aged a mere 22 years. The pitch to his ever frightening boss had been simple. ‘’You’ve let down 30 men in the last 6 months. I am done handling my job as well your shit. Those Harvard lunatics are too busy tending to their stupid resumes and I don’t have time for the garbage they throw at me when you fire their sorry arses. You’re settling with the woman, she’s got sick parents to feed- she won’t give a damn for ego as long as you pay her on time.’’

Jungkook could only snarl at the curses, the audacity of the man to speak in the way he did. Anyone else and they’d be lying in a pool of their own blood within seconds of the first word spoken against him. But Min Yoongi couldn’t be touched and this was a fact.

Jeon Jungkook was putty in the hands of his elder brother.

Today, he sent thanks to his sibling, for his aggressive outburst and daunting approach. You were priceless and the best decision ever- professionally of course.

He gave no reply to your request, not even a glance spared in your direction as your placed the drink onto his desk. There were just a series of footsteps, the man walking over to his maple work table, ready to do as he was told.

You had no idea of the prerogatives you held, and at that point, neither did him. The slight tease in your voice had mellowed down completely- replaced with the air of innocence and obeisance. Jungkook groaned at the sight.

‘’So I was thinking…it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow…and well…’’ you said... Shuffling your buckled black heels.

‘’You aren’t leaving early.’’

His abrupt command had no thought behind it. Other than the fact he couldn’t let you out of his sight for more than a few hours, often paging you unnecessarily just to make you think of him.

He doubted you ever would if he didn’t.

‘’I am not…my parents are flying in tomorrow…it’s a small get together at my place with a few colleagues. I figured since you didn’t have anything planned…you could join us?’’

Your apprehensive feet clicked across the hardwood with anticipation, the weightlessness behind your request holding the air in a trance.

‘’You’re my personal assistant, not event manager. You do not handle my private affairs so don’t think for a second that I care about your stupid Christmas dinner or the family I saved from crumbling.’’

It wasn’t what he had intended to say. Rather, his mind had flourished a thought he needed to keep locked away. He wanted to tell you that he’d love to join your family, share potato salad and amusing anecdotes across the table... All the while pressing his hand into your thigh- a subtle promise of sinful satisfaction later that night. But he wouldn’t dare to voice his feelings. You didn’t need to get involved with his shit, the scars that graced his back or the life full of gluttony and gambles he had chosen to lead. It was compulsion, to remind you every second of every day that the apartment which he bestowed upon you just 3 floors below his office- was a gracious boon, a gift given to improve your petty life. You had to be reminded of your father and how had been released from Jail after almost overdosing on the crack he had envisioned to peddle. Jeon Jungkook had to remind you of how ugly your tear stained face looked as you begged on your knees- begged for him to save your family.

There was simply no other way.

If you weren’t reminded, you’d crawl your way into his heart and sit there- encasing it completely.

He was just a damned moth to your flame.

‘’I know…and I am trying…I am trying to repay you. Please. Come over. I won’t waste your time.’’ You said. The words articulated with a purpose, were laced with meaningful sorrow but you couldn’t help the small smile that graced your lips.

He hadn’t declined.

Jungkook noticed how your full lips turned upwards, noticed how you had bent your head downwards, trying to hide your amusement. He knew he hadn’t said no, he knew inside the pits of his soul that was going to attend. Your reaction publicised his private notions completely.

It wasn’t hard to hate you.

Rather, it was the easiest thing in the world. His life had been built upon layers of lies, fear, judgement and mistrust. You tore everything apart with one look. He despised the hold you had over him, envied your purity and tried his best to tarnish it with his own two hands. Even if it meant burning your entire persona to ashes. He was well aware of the impact his audacious remarks on your large heart, knew just how much you wished to throw your small fists at his chest in rebuttal- he could see it in your eyes. But he knew you’d never break.

‘’Get out. I don’t have time for you.’’

Fuck.

Why couldn’t he just say no?

Probably because the thought of abjuration had never once crossed his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~

11 pm saw him standing at your door, a bouquet of Lilly’s in his hand. The flowers had almost wilted away. What the hell was he doing? Why was he even here? There was no noise from behind the oakwood and why would there be?

Your offer had been for dinner, not a midnight snack.

He wasn’t going to come, prove you wrong and act smug about the ordeal. However he had shown up, at 7 pm, flowers fresh and suit prim. Ready to tap onto the door and shimmy himself into you…your apartment. But his confidence dropped as he heard your laughter, it was beautiful, natural and something he had never experienced before.

Jeon Jungkook had never made you laugh, but had every thought of hearing you scream.

It wouldn’t have mattered to him if you were any other woman, but the lack of knowledge frightened him, made him think there would be another man who would have the pleasure of witnessing both sounds.

Every. Single. Day.

His heart beat erratically, edging him into a state of worry and insanity. What the fuck was wrong with him? It would be a complete lie if he said he hadn’t just stood in front of your door for 3 hours, praying he didn’t hear sounds of men. The silence at 11 pm provided comfort and he walked away, only after dropping the Lilly’s inside the vase at your desk.

You had been pleasantly surprised the next day, and you knew exactly who they were from. The flowers- drained from their pretty colour -were beautiful nonetheless and you couldn’t help but run your hands over their soft petals.

They were perfect- just like him.

~~~~~~~~~~

‘’See that guy over there…he’s checking you out hon.’’ Lisa, the American-Chinese intern, stirred her tea at an exceedingly sluggish pace. Her eyes were glued onto the 27 year old accountant who stood in the corner of the room, photocopying his work and humming to himself. She’d been a temporary employee at Euphoria Inc. for a bare 3 weeks but had done well to pair 4 couples with her self-praised matchmaking skills.

3 of said relationships had broken up within 24 hours. And thus, It was only natural that her impeccable track record attracted many an employee to her small cubicle, ready for her to set them up with dates and one night stands.

It seemed that you were her next target.

You sighed and turned to look at Jamie. He was tall, considerably well-built and had this collegiate boyish charm to his appeal, his long-slightly raven locks sat faultlessly over his glasses.

The image was so immaculate it made you uncomfortable.

However in your opinion, the man on the 77th floor was nothing short of perfection. His ruffled hair didn’t need to be waxed and placed as it were; it fell naturally and it made you want to run your hands through it. His rugged and damaged personality sheltered his otherwise kind heart and you saw right through the vile facade. You didn’t hope for him to change. Didn’t hope for him to suddenly become a goofy cheeky soul; the kind who would sit and chat with his workers.

You loved the man as he was. A little broken but a hell of a lot confident.

‘’Lisa…I don’t really want to date him…’’ You mumbled, eagerly emptying coffee beans into the machine.

She laughed at your reply and peeled her eyes away from the man. ‘’Who said anything about dating love? I just said he was checking you out.’’

It was hard not to grimace at her words but as crude as they were you had to smile politely. Offices were run on brutal honesty and cut throat depositions. There was no room for pleasantries or hospitality and any that appeared were a courteous formality. You hurried in your steps and brewed the concoction with ease. It was 8 am and he required his morning fix, even though he never actually asked you to prepare it. You had just finished placing his black on the tray and had turned around to deliver it when a firm body crashed into yours, spilling the brew all over your clothes and the floor. The heat burned through your blouse and scorched your skin, it had been hard to not curse at the pain but you dealt through it, eyes shut tight in response.

‘’Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!’’ said the voice. It was a man, sharply handsome, his cheekbones were protruding and you were sure his skin glowed. It didn’t take long to recognise him.

Kim Taehyung.

He had been a prospective fiancé, from a year ago.

From a time when you had no viable job, no future and the money the Kim Family offered in exchange for your hand in matrimony, had been a welcome surprise to your household. They were staunchly against same sex marriages and Park Jimin had been banned from their home with immediate effect. The marijuana had inflected your otherwise gentle father and he had agreed in seconds to the proposal, not once considering your opinion. You had declined Taehyung in private, and he had hugged you in thanks. The man was humble and docile in more ways than one, and his heart had been taken years ago- by none other, than his childhood piano teacher. There was no way Taehyung would’ve agreed.

‘’Tae!’’ You screamed, surprised yet elated at the discovery.

‘’Hey there fiancé. Glad to know you remember me…but really, why do we always meet in the worst of situations.’’ He walked over to the counter as he spoke, grabbing up as many napkins as he could find. His gentle hands took to patting at your chest, handing you the tissues while doing so and it didn’t take long for to dry up your blouse.

‘’I thought you’d be more respectful than that. Letting your fiancé walk into my building and displaying yourself open for the man. Tch Tch…I guess a lowlife is always a low life no matter what her circumstance.’’ Jeon Jungkook stood against the door, leaning onto it with a posture that screamed indifference. But in all reality, Jungkook was seething.

The small Glock tucked into his suit was ready to fire and destroy Kim Taehyung and maybe even leave a flesh wound inside Jamie the accountant.

However in that minute, his primal desire had been to destroy you. How dare you hide the news of your engagement? How dare you wear that damned pastel pink blouse to work, and let another man touch you so unabashedly? How dare you smile when you saw your betrothed? He hated you for everything.

And he hated himself for falling for you.

‘’And who the hell is this Joker?’’ Taehyung turned around to look at Jeon, the tissues in his hand soiled from the spillage. He had been invited to the corporation by Min Yoongi, a dear friend who had promised him help with TaeMin Designs, an upcoming entrepreneurial, founded by his beautiful husband. It didn’t occur to him that he’d meet you, but he was pleased that he had.

You were wonderful.

If it hadn’t been for your confidence, he would have never proposed to Jimin, never left his awful family and never been as happy as he was now. He owed you his life and his prosperity.

‘’Tae…he’s my boss. I’ll talk to you later. Please. I’ll call you hmm?’’ you tried your best to nip the fight in the bud. Taehyung was cool headed but an agitated version of the man could lead to the emergence of fists and blood. You were lucky he understood your pleas, and he grunted towards Jungkook while exiting the room, the daggers leaving his eyes were filled with venom and anger.

‘’I’d like you to pay attention to your job. Not to every single man out there. Why don’t you just do as you’re told? I don’t care what you do and who you do it with when you’re out of here.’’ Jungkook straightened himself against the wall and pocketed his hands. He told himself he enjoyed watching your eyes brim, told himself that his anger was justified. But god knows how much he wanted to cradle you and whisper apologies until you were forced to believe them.

‘’Let’s keep your sluttish acts away from the office hmm?’’

It was a harsh blow, enough to cause the first tear to slip from their confines. Why did he have to behave like that?

Why did you have to love him regardless of the way he did?

~~~~~~~

‘’How long is it going to take you leave? It’s pretty simple. Take the bag to KM Constructions, drop it there and leave. What’s so hard? '' Jungkook’s anger had sky rocketed ever since the incidence in the cafeteria and he didn’t even understand why he was asking you to be a bag drop. Never once in a career spanning 6 years had he ever made a woman a part of a deal. But it seemed that you were an exception with everything.

‘’I am just leaving Sir.’’ You said, buttoning up the grey pea coat.

He noticed how inappropriately dressed you were, how feminine and vulnerable. He knew how lecherous men could be, knew it wasn’t safe. But annoyance clouded his senses and he threw the thoughts away. It was simple enough, no interactions. You’d be fine.

If only he knew.

Part 2

Part 3

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davidpwilson2564 · 3 years

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Bloglet

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

Bight sunlight. Bitter cold. I to to the East Side to see Dr. Harmon. I am put through numerous tests by his assistants, all very nice. As my folder is passed around each of them sees I have a birthday coming up, the thought of which, no surprise, doesn’t make the heart sing. (In between tests I head back to the waiting room. The octogenarian Chinese twins [I have seen them before] are there, one of them sort of leading the other by the hand. Someone on the staff is fluent in Chinese, making matters less complicated.) I see Dr. Harmon. He is masked, of course, and wearing a kind of doo-rag. The good news: he says he doesn’t have to see me for six months. Exiting...There is faint choral music coming from the room where the young lady is doing the books. Not quite loud enough to identify (say, if I were able). I ask her what the music is and she says it is a “Mozart Mass”...a contrast to music usually being played in doctor offices.

I want to do some shopping on the way home but I am intent on getting warm. I head home. Ah...home...and glad to be.

Wednesday, January 12, 2022

The Jan 6 Committee requests that Kevin McCarthy speak with them. No way. He is under strict orders to remain silent.

Trump consents to speak, by phone, with the NPR guy, Steve Inskeep. I know his voice but had no idea what he looked like, or how to spell his name, until I read the article. Trump calls Mitch McConnell a loser... They are a few questions into the interview when Trump starts talking about the “landslide” victory that was rightfully his. All of those dead people who voted... Oh boy. When pressed on the accuracy of this story (which is pure fiction) Trump hangs up. (He’s good at this. Remember the “Sixty Minutes” interview...)

Night noises. I have told you before about the murphy bed above me that sometimes comes crashing down at the odd hour. (But...still..I am so lucky...prewar building...thick walls...) Sometimes the upstairs person (not the owner of the apartment but, I think, a friend...a casual sublet, contrary to house rules) walks around in the wee hours. I am reminded of a line from Nabokov...”I lodged under an old lady with feet of stone and above a young woman with hypersensitive hearing.”

The Spectrum Classics channel. There are some pieces I cannot hear enough. And some pieces I cannot bear to hear again. Listening, at its most pleasant, brings back memories of first having heard a piece (live on in person). At its most unpleasant, memories of a conductor who was a pill.

to be continued

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memorylang · 4 years

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February’s Holidays in America | #50 | February 2021

Been feeling great! 2O2I goes well for me. I’m excited to have received more word from the Peace Corps that they’ll be in touch when they have a final timeline for reinstatement. Till then, I’m savoring my weeks still stateside.

February 2O2I encompasses many holidays, including Lunar New Year, U.S. Presidents’ Day, St. Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday. Some Americans may consider the Super Bowl a holiday, too! (Ah, if only Kansas City could make lightning strike twice this year.) Anywho, this month’s tales are on how I’ve spent my holidays. I’m ecstatic to have gotten in another national parks trip!

Lunar New Year 2O2I

I begin these tales from Lunar New Year’s. (I’ll double back to recount January adventures toward the end of my tales in this blog story.) This year, my LA sister who was in wanted to celebrate the Lunar New Year with more activity, so she’d returned to Vegas, she decorated, we wore red, and we cooked.

We made dumplings and 包子 /bāozi/, which were tasty. I enjoyed getting to show my sister how Mom had shown me how to pinch them. I remembered too cooking with my Mongol host family two summers ago. This year, our older brother and his girlfriend came over to celebrate, as well as a couple of my sister’s friends.

This year’s Year of the Ox is my zodiac year. It’s the first one I remember, since in that year when I’d turned 12, I’d been still adjusting to life in Vegas after having moved from Indiana with my family the year before. Here in 2O2I, though, at what was midnight in China, I called our relatives over WeChat. We chatted briefly in Chinese and English. Many got confused about which of my sisters was which, which amused me. I felt glad to have gotten to reconnect.

For the rest of my friends and relatives, I shared photos from Tsagaan Sar 2O2O. Last year, I hadn’t posted much amid hastily packing as a Peace Corps Volunteer to evacuate Mongolia. This year’s been calmer.

Later that Lunar New Year’s Day, I and my national parks friends like Victor Del Valle embarked on a new adventure, this time to Utah’s sites. Having my driver’s license felt empowering.

The Mighty Five

By our trip’s end, I’d reach 14 national parks! I look forward to getting to share these experiences with folks abroad who want to visit the States.

On Friday, our first day, my friends and I visited Canyonlands National Park then Dead Horse Point State Park. I enjoyed seeing the canyons within canyons. Since the Wednesday before was a virtual high school reunion, I decided to wear my ol’ student council shirt.

That night we checked into this awesome and affordable place, the “Rustic Inn” in Moab, Utah. I recommend it to anyone coming through the city. It was so fantastic that I wrote a Yelp review.

On Saturday, we reached Arches National Park early, standing below the iconic Delicate Arch before rain picked up. Despite the cold wind and rain, I loved the hike to the Double O Arches. The trek involved rock scrambling what I call the ‘rock vault’ and walking across elevated slabs that I consider the ‘train cars.’ On rock scrambles, I felt like Spider-Man. Across the elevated slabs, I felt like Violet Evergarden or Captain America. We’d taken so many cool photos that day that my recap post for social media contained numerous photos from Arches.

For the Feast of St. Valentine, that Sunday, Feb. 14, my aunt who’d visited last summer had mailed ahead candy. Her gift was a pleasant surprise. Coincidentally on that Sunday, my friends and I saw Capitol Reef, to which she’d taken me last summer. But, my friends and I entered from a different side than when I’d seen with my relative. My friends and I also hiked to Cassidy Arch, along a remarkable trail that I hadn’t seen on our first trip. Though I first overshot the destination by a half-mile, I enjoyed the sights! That arch reminded me of Sedona’s Devil’s Bridge.

"A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one”

On Monday, my friends and I had meant just to see Bryce Canyon but fate had other plans. Winter snow and ice limited our Bryce options such that after experiencing its safe sites we went to Zion. Still, we enjoyed the Dr. Seuss-like sound of “hoodoos” and questions like, “What do the hoodoos do when who doesn’t?”

Zion felt like Disney, with its wonders at every turn. I’d never seen rock formations like those of the park. Its overlook path, which my friends insisted wasn’t even one of its best hikes, blew my mind. I wish that we’d had more time to see Zion. Our time was short. I resolved to return someday.

Up next is Redwood National Park in a few months! I’m so excited. Redwood was one of the first national parks of which I’d heard when I was young in Indiana reading about California. I hope that those tall trees are amazing indeed.

From 2O2I’s First Week

Presidents’ Day made my friends’ and my trip possible this month. So, in honor of Presidents’ Day, I want to share some January 2O2I experiences with its major event, Inauguration Day! With all that led to it, this year’s was one to remember.

I kick off my Inauguration Day stories with Wed., Jan. 6, an especially tense day for Americans. That morning, I’d been still in Reno, having arrived to ring in the New Year. That Wednesday, my folks and I were following results from the Georgia run-off election. Georgian friends said not to hold my breath. Well, I felt amazed to see that the two Democrats won.

But later that day, when I and my D.C. friend were to begin our usual 3 p.m. EST video call on my week’s Bible readings, we began with a different conversation. She asked me if I’d heard about what was happening at the Capitol Building. I hadn’t. She said that police were trying to protect Congresspeople from rioters who’d broken in—American rioters.

I hadn’t imagined that day that I’d be praying for the safety of our leaders, but I felt moved to do so. I tried not to let the news get to me, too much. I hoped that things would sort themselves out. I’d underestimated.

“What a year this month has been”

The next Monday, Week 45 (Jan. 8–15), I felt a bit ashamed to try explaining to my group of Mongols learning English about the U.S. Capitol events. I wasn’t certain about the facts, beyond that rioters opposed the certification of our November election’s results. Ultimately, I suspected that the media had overplayed the drama of the events. Still, I felt ashamed that not outsiders but American citizens had attacked our own Capitol.

That week’s Sunday, I also attended and later spoke at a Zoom service in remembrance of my late supervisor, Rich Siegel, co-chair of the Honors Community Advisory Board for which I’m secretary. Many on the call wondered what that man, a champion of the American Civil Liberties Union, would have thought about the violence at the Capitol. He would surely have condemned it. After our service, I spoke briefly in gratitude for Rich’s mentorship. A woman at the service contacted me with thanks for sharing my experiences with him.

On a later week, my English-language learners in Mongolia asked me to weigh in about my trust in the election results. I explained my usual position that I tend to believe whatever our courts conclude about the security of our processes. Our courts declared the election secure, so I trusted our results. Regarding America’s Capitol riots, to my amazement, my Mongol friends compared them to moments in Mongolia’s young democratic history of riots outside of their parliament building and leaders resigning. I felt strangely comforted by similarities.

Inauguration Day

At last came Wednesday, Jan. 2O. I was back in Vegas, glued to the telly from dawn till dusk. This was the first Inauguration Day I could recall when I wasn’t in school, so I decided that I’d watch the whole thing. By that day, I’d also finished much of the yard work and had even gotten halfway through the “Kafka on the Shore” book to which I’d been listening.

On Inauguration Day, I kept downstairs with a Snuggie, sitting in a soft rocking chair with a space heater between me and the TV. I set the telly to a channel showing four stations at once—this time showing CNN, FOX, MSNBC and the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies (JCCIC). I liked most the JCCIC broadcast since its hosts sounded passionate about our inaugural setting, having usually given tours of the Capitol. Commentators felt delighted that despite the violence just two weeks earlier, the area was safe and secure now.

I felt a little disappointed to learn that President Trump had decided not to attend the inauguration, instead taking off quietly from Washington. I’d loved seeing U.S. Presidents Clinton, Bush and Obama gathered. I hope that in the future, Trump stands among them as a fellow past leader of our great nation.

Inauguration

As President-elect Biden and VP-elect Harris arrived, I felt moved. I remembered my time as a young journalist reporting live during Election Night, November 2OI6. Seeing our new administration arrive in January 2O2I, I remembered the faces of people, many of color, who had felt saddened half a decade prior.

Though I live in Vegas, I wasn’t expecting to enjoy much Lady Gaga’s performance of the national anthem. Generally, I’m not that interested in her music. Well, I felt awed. I found her rendition of our anthem among the most moving versions that I’ve heard. She performed in ways like a guide on our nation’s musical journey.

In terms of speeches, I enjoyed hearing Rev. Dr. Sylvester Beaman bring to light important issues of diverse communities and felt blown away by the poet Amanda Gorman. Her words resonated powerfully. Her references to “Hamilton” were wonderful, too. That the Biden-Harris administration had given the green light to this magnificent speaker of my generation gave great hope.

Inauguration Night

I spent the rest of Inauguration Day texting friends as I watched the feeds on traditional Day 1 activities of new U.S. presidents. I especially loved watching that afternoon the Biden-Harris administration’s first press conference. We’re returning to transparency.

That evening, I saw the virtual concert commemorating our day. I enjoyed seeing talks and performances by Bon Jovi, Foo Fighters, Yo-Yo Ma, Broadway stars and John Legend. New to me yet delightful still were “Better Days (feat. Justin Timberlake)” by Ant Clemons and “Colors” by Black Pumas. Our sun set on what felt for many a renewed nation.

I didn’t see much other inauguration coverage besides a James Corden treat. He’d made a parody of “One Day More,” which I showed many. I found its lines, “What a year this month has been,” and, “Politics are dull again,” so comical.

As days went on, I felt delighted to see Dr. Fauci on TV looking far more chipper than during preceding weeks. I felt amused by Stephen Colbert’s return to jesting about political norms instead of contested facts. Thus our world turns.

Back to Reno

After my Week 49 (Feb. 11–16) Mighty Five Utah parks trip with my friends, I returned from Vegas to Reno. That Tues., Feb. 16, I got to drive the hundred miles from Tonopah, Nev., to Hawthorne, Nev.! I felt delighted. Seeing the sunset while listening to my friend’s party music evoked joy in possibilities of where I can go and what I can do in life.

The next day, Feb. 17, was Ash Wednesday. That day I returned to my college parish since I’ve been singing for this year’s virtual “Living Stations of the Cross” production. Revisiting the parish and chatting with our staff returned to mind among my favorite undergrad experiences. Meanwhile, our student coordinators have worked so hard to make their office into a recording studio. I look forward to sharing our performance video when it goes live this Lenten season.

With Ash Wednesday as the first day of the season’s fasting, I had a bagel and tea for breakfast then water throughout the day. That evening, after a series of delightful meetings, I saw a long-time friend when he had a moment free. The homie was Darren Dang, one I’d met when we’d lived in the same residence hall, fall 2OI5.

That afternoon, Darren and I visited Roberto’s Taco Shop down the street, where we caught up like we’d done a couple years ago, before I’d graduated the University. COVID causes weird circumstances, but we make the most of them. Coincidentally, I’d reconnected too with a mutual friend, through a Pokémon GO group chat when I’d asked what I’d need to do to complete the week’s challenge.

My friend wished me Happy Lunar New Year in a traditional Vietnamese greeting! I enjoyed that greatly. I knew informal New Year’s greetings in Mandarin and Mongolian, so I said those in exchange. Seeing long-time friends warms my soul.

Lent 2O2I

Later this February marks the first anniversary since I learned that I’d evacuated from Mongolia. So by the time I next blog, I’ll have been back in America for a year. Expect March tales to feature my reflections. I’m coming back to Vegas in March to see off my LA sister before she moves for work in Seattle!

The rest of February, I mean to focus on singing for the church production and revising my research for resubmission by early March. I’ve enjoyed seeing WandaVision while not working. My language and outreach projects continue.

This Lent I've also resumed my habit of praying a rosary a day in addition to daily walks and stretches. I've added, too, Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer. Let me know if you'd like to pray with me! For now, I leave you with this copy of the text that I’d found cited on Wikipedia (195I):

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

#Peace Corps #Mongolia #nationalparks #memorial #WithMe #COVID-19 #Zion #Nevada #Coronavirus #lunarnewyear #news #winter #inauguration #Utah #USA #memoryLang #God #Catholic #story #memoir

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cardiococktail · 4 years

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Sure Signs You Have Long COVID, Reports WHO

As coronavirus cases recede in America, more than 10% of those who caught the virus may feel symptoms for years and years, possibly forever. They have Long COVID and yesterday, the World Health Organization (WHO), held a seminar to sound the alarm about it. “Long COVID should not fall through the cracks,” said WHO director-general Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus. “Long COVID could become the pandemic on the pandemic,” warned doctor Gail Carson, from the International Severe Acute Respiratory and Emerging Infection Consortium. “People are losing jobs, they're losing relationships. There's a real urgency to try and understand this,” she said. Read on to see if you have some of the most common symptoms of Long COVID, ranked from less common to most common—and to ensure your health and the health of others, don't miss these Sure Signs You've Already Had Coronavirus.

You Might Vomit

You might throw up, especially after exerting yourself. “It's the weirdest thing I've ever experienced,” Helen Calder, from Liverpool, told the BBC, which reports: “Nearly four months after she and her family caught the virus, and after needing hospital treatment twice, she still experiences a relapse roughly every two weeks where she is hit by debilitating fatigue, nausea, headaches, and limb pain. Her doctors have diagnosed post-viral fatigue and she says any small over-exertion while she is feeling well can set her back for days at a time.”

You Might Experience Confusion

Although low on the WHO's list of symptoms, confusion, or “brain fog,” is quite frequent among Long Haulers. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the chief medical advisor to the President and the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, calls it an “inability to concentrate” and it can result in forgetfulness and anxiety, as well.

You Might Have Abdominal Pain

Long COVID-caused abdominal pain may be hard for doctors to diagnose. “I have had a rotating constellation of symptoms, different each day and worse each evening: fever, headache, dizziness, palpitations, tachycardia, and others,” writes Jeffrey N. Siegelman, MD, a long hauler himself, in a piece on JAMA. “As a result, I have been reminded of the need to listen to the patient first, even in the absence of conclusive testing. The next time I care for someone with vague abdominal pain, or fatigue, or paresthesia, or any of the myriad conditions that are uncomfortable on the inside but look fine on the outside, I will remember that these symptoms are real and impactful for patients.”

You May Have Chest Pain

Your Long COVID chest pain may be tissue inflammation—or it may be a heart issue. “Covid-19 is not only a lung illness: it can cause other life-changing complications. In particular, because it can increase the risk of blood clots, it can lead to deep vein thrombosis, heart attacks and stroke,” reports BHF. “Less commonly, it can cause heart muscle inflammation and heart rhythm disturbances, such as atrial fibrillation. (This isn't specific to coronavirus—for example, damage to the heart is also known to happen in severe flu).”

You May Have a Sore Throat

In one study, says McKnight's: “Almost 17% of patients who were considered fully recovered tested positive for the virus in follow-up screenings. And patients who were most likely to have a new positive test result were those with sore throat and rhinitis (chronic sneezing or a congested, drippy nose), reported lead author Francesco Landi, M.D., Ph.D.”

You May Have Nausea

“It is now clear that not only the lungs, the gastrointestinal tract could also be attacked by SARS-CoV-2,” says one study in the Journal of Microbiology, Immunology and Infection. “Its host receptor angiotensin-converting enzyme 2 (ACE2), which acts as a gateway to infection, has been found to be highly expressed in the gastrointestinal epithelium and may lead to the development of nausea/vomiting.”

You May Have Dyspnea

“Few sensations are as frightening as not being able to get enough air. Shortness of breath — known medically as dyspnea — is often described as an intense tightening in the chest, air hunger, difficulty breathing, breathlessness or a feeling of suffocation,” reports the Mayo Clinic.

You May Have Congestion

Says the Mayo Clinic: “Nasal congestion or ‘stuffy nose' occurs when nasal and adjacent tissues and blood vessels become swollen with excess fluid, causing a ‘stuffy' plugged feeling. Nasal congestion may or may not include a nasal discharge or ‘runny nose.'”

You May Have Diarrhea

“In the early days of the SARS-CoV-2 outbreak, clinicians focused on respiratory symptoms and transmission, but Chinese researchers soon identified the GI/fecal/oral route as another avenue of spread for this imperialistic virus,” reports MedPage Today. Long Haulers may experience diarrhea as a result.

You May Have a Loss of Smell or Loss of Taste

“Obviously, the early symptoms of COVID-19 disease are very similar to a flu-like syndrome,” Fauci told The Washington Post. However: “Many people now have this curious loss of smell and taste.” This sensation can last for long after you've shed the virus.

You May Have Chills

“When chills are accompanied by other symptoms, such as fever, body aches or fatigue, they're more likely associated with a systemic infection,” says Keck Medicine. “Chills boost your body's core temperature when your immune system attempts to fight off infection,” says Rose Taroyan, MD, MPH, a family medicine physician at Keck Medicine of USC and clinical assistant professor of family medicine at the Keck School of Medicine of USC.

Fever

Temperature fluctuations are not uncommon for long haulers. “My symptoms have gotten worse and are typical of what is being reported for COVID-19 ‘long-haulers' — recurring fever, debilitating fatigue, inability to concentrate, headache, dizziness, body aches and more,” reports one first responder to the Washington Post.

You May Have Body Aches

Fauci calls this “myalgia” and you may have pain in all sorts of places. “Multiorgan symptoms after COVID-19 are being reported by increasing numbers of patients. They range from cough and shortness of breath, to fatigue, headache, palpitations, chest pain, joint pain, physical limitations, depression, and insomnia, and affect people of varying ages,” says a report in the Lancet.

You May Have a Headache

“In some patients, the severe headache of COVID-19 only lasts a few days, while in others, it can last up to months. It is presenting mostly as a whole-head, severe-pressure pain. It's different than migraine, which by definition is unilateral throbbing with sensitivity to light or sound, or nausea,” reports Novant Health.

You May Cough

“The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published a report in July that showed that 35 percent of 292 non-hospitalized COVID-19 patients continued to experience symptoms—such as cough, fatigue and shortness of breath—up to three weeks after diagnosis, whereas 90 percent of influenza patients fully recover and regain functionality within two weeks of a positive test result,” says the Texas Medical Center.

RELATED: 7 Tips You Must Follow to Avoid COVID, Say Doctors

You Are Most Likely to Have Fatigue

Fatigue is the most common symptom of Long COVID, according to most researchers and patients. This most resembles, according to Fauci, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or myalgic encephalomyelitis, which the CDC says is: “a serious, long-term illness that affects many body systems. People with ME/CFS are often not able to do their usual activities. At times, ME/CFS may confine them to bed. People with ME/CFS have severe fatigue and sleep problems.”

Long Haulers Most Often Experience More Than One of These Symptoms

If you just have a runny nose, it's unlikely you're a long hauler. But if you have a runny nose, headaches that just won't quit, bone-crushing fatigue and some weird pains, it's possible—especially if you feel or know you had COVID-19 at some point. Call a medical professional to get checked—and to protect your life and the lives of others, don't visit any of these 35 Places You're Most Likely to Catch COVID.

The post Sure Signs You Have Long COVID, Reports WHO appeared first on Eat This Not That.

source https://atlantaloser.com/sure-signs-you-have-long-covid-reports-who/

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ferrybaker0-blog · 5 years

Text

Rappahannock Oyster Bar (Los Angeles, CA)

Rappahannock Oyster Bar at ROW DTLA 787 S Alameda St, Los Angeles, CA 90021 323.435.4004 www.rappbardtla.com / www.rroysters.com/restaurants/rappoysterbardtla Sun 08/12/2018, 07:30p-10:15p

[Note: Nick Erven has apparently left the restaurant since the writing of this entry.]

We last reported on Nick Erven back in August 2016, shortly after he'd opened Erven, his eponymous vegan joint in Santa Monica. People really seemed to enjoy it, but the spot just couldn't survive, and ended up closing at the start of this year, not long after the Chef started consulting for The Venue in Koreatown. Following the shutter, it was announced that Erven would be leading the team at the upcoming Rappahannock Oyster Bar at ROW DTLA, and the restaurant eventually opened at the start of May for lunch, with dinner coming a month later. We recently paid the place a visit for a birthday celebration.

A bit of history: Rappahannock actually traces its history back to 1899, when James Arthur Croxton Jr. (the current owners' great-grandfather) started an oyster business. He ran the company with son William Arthur Croxton Sr. until he passed away in 1961, while William himself passed in 1991. In 2001, cousins Ryan Croxton and Travis Croxton decided to revive the family business, and renewed their grandfather's oyster bed leases. Following, they began experimenting with oyster farming, and were able to starting selling product in 2005. The two were key in putting Virginia oysters on the culinary map, and in the process, they also helped revive and restore the Chesapeake Bay ecosystem.

The Croxtons' next step was to get into the restaurant business. They teamed up with Scott Croxton (another cousin) and the three purchased a property near their oyster beds, which they turned into Merroir in 2011. The "tasting room" was a success, and was followed up by the first Rappahannock Oyster Bar in DC's Union Market in September 2012. Rappahannock Restaurant in Richmond, VA arrived in December that year with Jonathan Staples--husband of Hilda Staples (Volt, Family Meal, Rogue 24, Graffiato, Aggio)--on board as a minority partner. The adjacent Rapp Session opened in February 2016, while Charleston's Rappahannock Oyster Bar dropped in March 2017. There's another Oyster Bar in the works for DC's Wharf as well, slated to debut later this year.

Travis has also expanded (sans cousins) into non-Rappahannock restaurants, collaborating with Derek Brown in 2013 on Eat the Rich (and oyster-slash-cocktail bar) and Southern Efficiency (a whiskey bar) in DC's Shaw district. He also got a piece of Graffito's (now-closed) Richmond expansion and opened two Rocksalts: one in Charlottesville, VA in September 2014 and one in Charlotte, NC in February 2015. Also in his portfolio is GWARbar in Richmond, VA (January 2015) and Brine in Fairfax, VA (May 2015).

Rappahannock DTLA was penned by Studio Unltd (Bavel, Dominique Ansel, The Rose Cafe, Otium, Chianina, MessHall, Bestia), and shows off a contemporary maritime sort of aesthetic. The open kitchen and concomitant Carrara marble dining counter dominate the room, and there's considerable patio square footage out front as well.

Erven was given free rein on the menu, and as a result, the food turned out much more interesting than I was anticipating. Beverage-wise, we have a compact wine list and a decent array of beers too. Corkage is $25, and we were charged twice. Click for larger versions.

uni-corn [$17.00] | sea urchin, corn, piquillo hot sauce, cotija, smoky mayo The name "uni-corn" is utterly obvious now that I think about it, so I'm surprised that this was the first time seeing it on a menu. Moniker aside, the elote-esque dish worked things out, presenting a mash-up of corn and urchin sweetness with an omnipresent, lingering smoke and a touch of heat.

pork belly lettuce wraps [$9.00] | pineapple bbq, shishito, benne We ended up getting comped a couple dishes (birthday boy was a regular at Saint Martha), and the first was this ssam-like preparation of pork belly. I certainly didn't mind it, finding the heavy, hearty flavors of the meat surprisingly well-matched to the sweet-tangy BBQ sauce while the veggies provided the needed contrast.

blue corn hush puppies [$8.00] | smoked maple butter, lime The complimentary hushpuppies turned out to be some of the best I've had. They highlighted the actual corn really well, and worked beautifully with the sweetness of the paired butter. I appreciated the acidity provided by the pickled onions, too.

deviled eggs [$8.00] | smoked trout, house hot sauce Being the egg fiend that I am, this was a must-try for me. The eggs were on point texturally, and the yolk matched like clockwork with the smokiness from the trout roe. I would've liked more heat from the advertised hot sauce, however.

Our first beverage was the 2018 Modern Times Wizard & Graf: Chapter 2 with Cherries, a saison-apple cider hybrid aged in both clay amphoras and French oak with Montmorency and Balaton cherries, created in collaboration with Shacksbury Cider out of Vermont. Its nose was barnyard-y and sour, but with a distinct cherry note. Taste-wise, I got more tartness and funk commingled with a soft acidity, minerality, and a sweet cherried spice on the mid-palate.

large tower [$150.00] | 12 oyster, 6 scallop, 6 clam, 6 shrimp, hamachi, uni guac, caviar, lobster salad Given the number of people we had, we opted for the restaurant's large seafood tower. We'll start with the tower's lower level; clock-wise from left we had:

Rappahannock River Oysters - These were among the easiest-eating oysters I've had: soft, sweet, mild, with surprisingly little salt.

Rochambeau Oysters - I didn't get to try these, but from what I heard, they were clean and subtly briny, and went down pretty easy as well.

Olde Salts Oysters - I found these creamy at first, but this quickly transitioned to a strong, focused salinity that really stayed with me.

Peruvian Bay Scallops - With tarragon, poppy seed, yuzu juice, and burnt orange oil. Again, I wasn't able to try one due to the number of people we had in our party.

Clams - Super clean, with a sharp, oceany taste.

Shrimp - Fresh tasting for sure, but also just briny enough, with a citrusy tartness and an herbaceous, astringent character.

Accoutrements, meanwhile, included horseradish cream, maple-black pepper mignonette, kimchi mignonette, and "awesome sauce" (a Vietnamese-style ceviche sauce if I'm not mistaken).

And of course here's the upper level of the tower; clock-wise from left we had:

Hamachi, Sliced Plums, Watermelon Radishes, Serranos, Garlic Ponzu, Shiso - I got a nice depth from the soy here, along with a persistent heat on the finish thanks to those serranos. The other elements contributed a bevy of contrasting tart, tangy notes that I appreciated as well.

Caviar, Crema, Toast - I was a fan of how in-your-face salty the caviar was, and how that was tempered by the lushness of the cream and the bit of toast on the bottom.

Uni Guacamole with Masa Fries - Fries were crispy and wonderfully corn-forward, and went swimmingly with that zippy guac.

Lobster Salad - Typically found in the lobster roll at lunch, this was delightfully sweet, creamy, and clean.

crispy brussels sprouts [$14.00] | dill-tofu ranch, trout roe, "everything spice" The Brussels delivered, no doubt. All the smoke and char and crunch and bitterness that I wanted was there in spades, evened out by that "ranch" while the red onions provided a welcomed sharpness to things.

grilled octopus [$19.00] | lobster rice, chili pepper, sauce nero I had to get the octo of course, which I did not regret. It was super savory, but also super tender, with a lovely hit of citrus that served as a great accent piece. The lobster rice was unexpected, but worked as a rich, creamy, cozy complement.

Our next beer was the 2017 Modern Times Swift Midday Brilliance, a sour blonde-sour saison blend, fermented with Saccharo/Brett/Lacto, then aged in white wine barrels with mangoes. It smelled tart and Bretty for sure, but with the sweetness of the fruit peeking through. On the palate I found sourness and acidity initially, along with rich, true-to-life mango flavors coming through toward the back end.

"loaded" potato latke [$16.00] | bacon, scallion, crispy cheddar, crème fraiche, caviar Here was a mash-up of a latke and Waffle House hash browns, a wondrous mélange of potato, pork, cheese, cream, and salt that I found utterly gratifying. A favorite of mine.

cheddar biscuits [$9.00] | kimchi, smoked apple butter Erven's biscuits were ostensibly inspired by Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay examples. They were soft yet crispy, and buttery certainly, and had a flavor profile that reminded me of Chinese cong you bing, which I loved. Delish alone, but even better with a dab of that sweet 'n' smoky butter on the side.

burrata [$15.00] | heirloom tomato, cucumber, crispy pita, olives, red wine vinaigrette This panzanella-ish salad was a pleasant surprise. The burrata was as cool and creamy as you'd expect, and really worked as a foil to the potency of the olives. The veggies provided further contrast to the dish, and I was a big fan of those crunchy shards of pita, too.

lambs and clams [$24.00] | fennel, fingerlings, poached egg, grilled bread Erven's take on a Rappahannock staple was a monochromatic affair, but fortunately it tasted better than it looked. The crux was the balancing act between the brine of the clams and the savory depth of the lamb, with the potato serving as a moderating element. The fennel, meanwhile, added a welcomed zinginess to the dish.

The evening's final beverage was the 2017 Modern Times Expulsion of the Princes, a blended, red wine barrel-aged, Lacto/Pedio/Brett-fermented dark sour ale with blueberries and blackberries. Aromas were on the vinous side, with dark berry fruit, leather, and light grain. In terms of taste, I got more of that rich, jammy berry alongside light smoke, light acidity, and a crisp-drying character.

eggplant [$15.00] | chili-hoisin, lettuce, cucumber, radish Here was the most overtly Asian-y dish of the night. We had what seemed like an entire eggplant, a meaty, satisfying specimen doused with the familiar, dark-toned savoriness of hoisin. It was some pretty heady stuff, so the veggies on top were crucial as a counterweight.

shrimp and grits [$22.00] | anson mills grits, benton's bacon, corn succotash, chili butter, sunny egg Last up was the Chef's version of a Lowcountry classic. It was a homey, comforting dish, the well-spiced grits meshing well with the sweetness of corn and the considerable brine of the shrimp (which, I will say, were a touch over).

Since this was a birthday dinner, one of my dining companions ended up preparing a coconut cheesecake with passion fruit. It was actually one of the best cheesecakes I've had in a while. I found it relatively airy, with a good back-and-forth between sweet and tart, while the crumbly crust was thoroughly enjoyable. The key, though, was the subtlety and finesse of the coconut, which served as the perfect accent to the classically rich, creamy nature of the cake. Note that the circular depressions on the surface of the cake were due to non-edible, succulent-themed decorations that were removed.

Given my preconceived notions of Rappahannock, I was expecting some fairly prototypical East Coast seafood from this place. However, I should have known better with Erven in command of the kitchen. Even though Rappahannock's sort of a chain restaurant, the place felt distinct, unique, "LA" if you will. Certainly, the food is centered on the classics, with a lot of Southern influence to be sure, but you'll also find plenty of contemporary details and multicultural leanings that touch upon the diversity of Los Angeles. This was my first meal at the new ROW development, and it's a promising start.

Source: http://www.kevineats.com/2018/08/rappahannock-oyster-bar-los-angeles-ca.html

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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zendallkiner · 7 years

Text

Lists are key

Journal excerpt, June 6, 2017

Day in the life - Senegalese style

7:15 Awakened by noises of intense sweeping. Falls back asleep.

8:00 Feels guilty for still being asleep, rolls back over. Falls asleep again.

8:15 Forces self to get up...scope out the scene for mice. Coast is clear, goes to bathroom.

8:30 If laziness doesn’t overtake my body, workout.

9:15 Shower if water isn’t cut off

9:30 Eat breakfast...make it last as long as possible before leaving the house. Judith (my aunt) comes who tells me I’m ignoring her or offers me her baby...depending on the day...or the mood..The definition of a f***boy (in the nicest way possible. I love Judith).

10:15 If nothing is planned (nothing is ever planned) leave the house and walk aimlessly. Prays for someone to call me over to talk*

*By call me over I really mean hiss

10:30 or 11 Must have been hissed at by now so most likely sitting with someone talking....explains Peace Corps, explains I don’t have husband, a child, a fiancé or a boyfriend (thanks for the constant reminder) and no I won’t marry you.

12:30 Getting hot, probably annoyed and thinking about going home

13:00 Begins to retreat back to home. If walking, stops at least 6 times to talk with construction workers on the road*

*Explains again, no I won’t marry you. No I’m not Chinese. Yes I’m 22 and single (thanks again). And no, I won't bring you to America. Also yes, I speak Wolof.

13:20 Returns home, greeted by all my siblings with excitement, “Danty’s home!! Danty’s home!!) so much touching. so hot. so f******* hot.

13:25 Change pants immediately. Drinks water. Sits. Waits for lunch.

13:45-14:15 anytime between this time, lunch is served. Rice/some kind of sauce. Pretty delicious.

14:30 Retreats to room, reads until hot/tired

14:50 - 16:00 (sometimes 17:00) takes nap. more like day sleep but whatever. again too f******* hot.

17:30 Exits room, greets family if they’re there or awake

18:00 Go on a night adventure. Sometimes talk with people until dark. Sometimes break fast* with people where I’m forced to eat until I can’t move. Also have to eat dinner later...

*Applicable during month of Ramadan exclusively

20:00 Goes to fruit stand to chat with my friend, buy some fruit etc etc

20:30 Goes to family restaurant, help out, sit around with my family just talking, watching videos or learning to cook

22:00 Return home. Run into neighbors. Talk to them for a little, feels guilty for not seeing them frequently enough. Says I’ll come tomorrow*

*forgets

22:10 Eats dinner (prolly fried dough of some sort with a lot of grease and definitely onions). Gains more weight

22:30 Reads my book while kids study*

*By study I really mean play cards, run around, yell at each other etc etc

23:00 Retreats to room, reads a little. Fights off mice with broom, falls asleep.

00:45 Arm is numb, wakes up.

1:45 Hears cat, sounds like its dying. wakes up. thinks of mice. skeptically falls back asleep.

4:00 other arm is numb, wakes up.

7:15 Repeat.

#list #dayinthelife #senegal #peacecorps #peacecorpssenegal #travel #international #culture #integration #cultural #africa #westafrica

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coffeeselfies · 10 years

Photo

This is technically the “I think I need coffee,” selfie, but it’s been so long since I’ve posted that I figured anything was better than nothing.

I’m still trying to sleep through the inspiration of a very wonderful Bob Goff.

I. love. him.

But on to darker things, like my not-so-distant past!

Hahaha. So I was looking for an old assignment I e-mailed myself, and instead found a bunch of cryptic-heavy things I had texted one of my rarely used e-mails from my phone.

So of course I’m going to put them together, here, since I will probably just lose them otherwise. And because everyone on the internet loves reading the things I e-mail to, well, myself (WAIT, DO I NOT HAVE FRIENDS, WHAT IS MY LIFE). :p

4/12/12 - A veces no quiero hablar Por Nada con mis amigos. Solamente, "Hoy me dice ,estas loca, pero le esta loco a Juan!" Y mas Nada. Yo quiero hablar about cosas lejas. Ayer y Hoy hable con jean y veronika, solamente small talk primer. Pero despues, yo decido hablar about the things which I was.actually thinking about lately, the deeper layers. My thoughts were kind of awkward. Random. But I'm so glad I did, it lead to such good convos! As if, although my own thoughts or specific revelation (another one about love, of course), but led to true, sincere convos from the heart. Yes! Thank you, Lord. It's funny how I won't open up and ill get frustrated at the lack of depth in a conversation, yet really all I need to do in some cases is just jump right into the true issues. Ahh small talk kills me.

3/4/12 - He asked us a few questions: Who are you using?

How are you using them?

Physically. Sexually. Emotionally. Spiritually. Monetarily.

How can you restore that? Who's using you? Do you love money, and use people?

Or do you love people, and use money?

5/9/12 I think my id and superego are in conflict... I prefer that psychological term to saying that right vs wrong or my flesh is in rebellion, I guess. I just want to do all sorts of things that aren't of God, and i don't even know what to do. I think I need to just remember that life is short, and not about what I want. I'm getting too caught up in the worldly details, my visions going, my path, every time I think I'm expanding it, is getting more and more limited. Goodnight, from post Dave n busters with cartel, post umsl, going to school tmrw.

5/17/12 - "Can you keep a secret?" I should have realized by now that this question should be answered with fear and heaviness rather than curiosity.

5/29/12 - I dreamt that, after they thought I had left, my parents started fighting. Loudly, viciously, hatefully. I came down shouting, 'stop it, stop it!!' But their heads were already covered in blood, as I'd they were going to kill eachother. I never found out if they stopped or not, because dad called to me in real life from the other room. At first I wondered if I had really been shouting, and that's why he had contacted me, but no, it was just about bulk trash being today. Something sounds like its gnawing on something, I can hear and feel the vibrations of it through my pillow. Creepy.

6/4/12 - I have always been a compassionate person – making little houses for wounded snakes and worms – befriending the kid who’s got no one but himself for company, partnering with the girl who doesn’t really speak English. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve recognized that God has been faithful in granting me patience, mercy, and grace as well, and I know that these are not my own, but I am meant to share them with the very people God has give me a heart for – the downtrodden, broken, and outcast, and ultimately just humanity in general. This has, more or less, been my (more recent) life pursuit. To follow God’s Will for my life, regardless of where it takes me. So far that has meant giving hope to weary and often lost travelers of Amsterdam, mentoring at risk juveniles and raising awareness for human trafficking in Los Angeles, running English and Summer-School programs for Chinese immigrants in New York City, training and creating jobs for families in Haiti, as well as hosting events and creating opportunities for girls to leave brothels , learning how to run a business in Mexico while also helping out at various orphanages for disabled Children, and even just being there for my own family and friends when they’ve needed it most. It has meant months of Ministry Training schools, years of living in International Community Houses, working in roles that range from administration, to construction, to managerial, and an ever growing reliance on and relationship with Jesus Christ.I’ve been back in Saint Louis for a year now,

7/1/12 - Today started strangely, my head still a little blurry from the wine from the night before. I went to church, very late, where daren had a cupcake waiting for me. Why? Because Tuesday I had admitted I had experienced some downer bdays and he realized that it was my half birthday. Mom came, cried, we hugged, went to the church picnic.. I went home, told dad about her accident, and he just started weeping, so hard that his nose began to.bleed. I stroked his hair and.got a bit teary eyed.and then we got.on our knees and prayed... Later was feeling down and missing Luke, but jean got me out.

11/11/12 - And with your hands in the air, your feet barely touching ground, I take that smile to mean that life is finally turning 'round. And we laugh til we cry and we dance til we cant, and I feel free as can be each time I see that gleam in your eye. Then the secrets come out and its less about being blessed and more about a high. So when you're dancing I'm wondering if that's you, and when you're singing, I know you would be singing.the blues... But that gleam in your eye, well really its more of a glaze all along, I just saw what I wanted as you,strung me along.

12/20/12 -

Well the queens off her throne Hiding in a stairwell Feet strewn about the stairs Seeming barely aware That her kingdom awaits The king, divorced long ago He's crying Where's his iron fist? Seems he's traded it for sentiment "Pathetic!" He might self accuse If only his tears would let him Seems everything's a dream these days, Some hellish, some sweet But all

I used to find the idea of receiving a text in the middle of the night strange.

Now, after years of practice, I find it comforting, perhaps a reminder that I am not so alone as I would feel.

I hadn't realized this, of course, until now.

Now, when I wake up to nothing but darkness and my own thoughts.

Now, when, regardless of whether I toss myself awake at 2am or 4am, there is no message.

There's nothing to reassure me that there's another person in this world who is awake and eager to share a moment, even a small, electronic message with me.

1/11/13 - Today Gave my testimony. Adopt a block, played ninja. Eva likes hanging out with Christians. I break rules and have real convos with the disciples. Play bs. Go to angelus temple. Do food distribution. Met hosea who talked to us because he thought I was pretty, was super catholic, thought tim was my bf, etc etc etc

1/29/13 - Oh hi, I'm feeling cold and pathetic, and thought I would ... Email myself. That seems fitting. Somehow emailing yourself feels much more pathetic than just journaling. Right now I feel like I wish anyone, absolutely anyone , would sit down across from me. Even the old creepy man who, after asking a few non essential questions, left me for the warmth of the indoors, or... I don't know, a donut. Why do I feel like this.Lord? Is it because I am not so busy in school? Is it because Adam moved and despite the fact that I was barely hanging out with him last semester anyway, he was a crutch, and knowing that at 1am when I feel pathetic and lonely and confused, I can't even text someone I know would care? I mean. I know others would care. But we aren't exactly on that level just yet. What is my life? Why am I this way, and why do I want attention for it? Or why do I feel the need to find someone who would , what, save me ? From myself.? From my thoughts? Why am I seeking comfort in shallow things, the wings of friends and acquaintences and , frick, anything. Whywhywhywhy. I don't know. Is this what life is like for people? Lord, you are the one God, the only thing worth it, you are good when no one else is, am I getting caught up in things that I shouldn't, what am I even going on about? Life life life. It's all good, right

2/13/13 - (From a voice to text translator)

tomorrow I'm supposed to have an awkward cuddling session with my love scene manager and a love my phone from church I'm not sure how I get myself into these awkward situations but I definitely am good at it office tomorrow my uncle is moving in for a month but should be really awkward and I wish that I had a lock on my door and the house I'm learning that the things that I desire to have a find myself feeling empty when I do get them but I'm happy about it because it gets me clarity because it shows me that nothing else really matters is just kind of in my head really got the only thing that matters is the only thing I should pursue S I miss Adam I know you won't hang out that much before you left but now I guess I'm missing him double I don't know I don't know what I mean exactly but he's been gone a few weeks now and it's weird not having a best friend to talk to you about everything I have a lot of friends I have a lot of good friends but this is different it is different when you have someone who knows so much about you already and you don't have to tell the back story every time you tell them a new story because I already know who so I'm so is or why you feel that way or white was a bad idea that you did that so I'm also giving up ice cream and I'll call for lunch and I'm going to be time to eat a lot better subject tomorrow hopefully that I've also really just been wanting to be free of employment just live and everyday wake up and say what I want to do without help homeless people if I want to make something I want to sell another day love you babe I wanna go out with a friend I make my card I definitely don't want to spend 5 shifts a week at cartel but at the same time I don't feel like I'm self disciplined enough to not have a job I'm just getting tired of the creepers and the internet the kids off work as well as yeah I don't know ent from my HTC on the Now Network from Sprint!

8/18/13 -

Woke up really missing my dad. Go figure. Able to properly seduce emotions into a flat, shruggable denial ever since those first few days, and now, on the day I hoped to "stay strong" the most, I can't stop thinking of part of the song he wrote for Rachel, only now in regards to him - "I miss you, in the summertime.. I miss you, in the wintertime.. I miss you - all the time. I love my Rachel Sue." Only.. Daddy-o, or something. Ahhh.. Thank you, Lord, for such a kind father. Please help today glorify your name, run smoothly.. its so obvious we can't do it without you.

8/19/13 - I miss my dad. I am sad that I'll never have him burst in my room in November at three am with pancakes and lit birthday candles because he started thinking about some of the birthdays of mine he had missed, and wanted us to be able to celebrate together. I can't drink milk or even look at rootbeer without hearing him ask for some, so eagerly, and then sigh 'mmmm, now that's good,' so contentedly after his first sip. I miss that his crazy stories are not going to be things that I share in everyday conversation with my friends, because they're all old stories and it will seem out of place. who do i have to talk to about my dad? no one. it makes everyone sad. theres no one to just share his life with, aside from close family, and that will be limited. Everyone keeps telling me I'm so strong. What does that mean?I'm strong because I didn't start sobbing when I spoke? Because I'm smiling and laughing with you? Is that strength or disposition? Blake said that I was handling this better than anyone he's ever seen deal with death. What does that mean?

12/13/13

I see a sadness in your eyes.Behind the words, another message.The weight of your world becomes tangible, heavy, a thickness that weights me like a fog rolling in with, strapping invisible bricks to my body. Sometimes it's your words, blatant and straightforward, other times it's the sighs, the eyes that flash with emotion for just a moment, Did you know that's been seen? So many words, how can they be contained? I hear things you've never said, I see

1/03/14-

I've tried reflecting on 2013.. tried finding words which could somehow, miraculously encapsulate all of the growth, struggle, joy, depression, transformation, and experiences that it contained. It will be one of the most memorable years of my life, for many reasons, but it may also be one of those years that the full impact of may be lost on me for awhile now.In the past few weeks, I've been looking through journals, photos, and letters, remembering and realizing exactly how many changes this year has brought. Led my first missions trip, felt the loss of saying goodbye to one of my best friends, discovered what living with not just my dad, but my uncle Ken, five chickens, two cats, two ducks, a dog, and whoever else decided to stay over was like, became the missions director at middletree church, became an AUNT to the most beautiful little Emelia Skye, gained a new set of amazing and wonderful friends, played nurse/daughter/friend/staff member/sister/maid/hopsicecare/barista/student/leader to the point of confused identity and exhaustion, left cartel to become part of the Caife Caife family, DIDN'T leave the country for the first time in yeaaaaars, actually had to turn down exciting travel/jobs, speaking opportunities, and a leadership position with a non-profit (rather than seek them out, like usual), spent 7 months of the year experiencing the beauty, hardship, and love of caring someone who is dying in more and more ways every day, the trauma and release of my dad's actual death, the months following that are nothing but fog, sorrow, and blurred memories, the 14-state family road trip of a lifetime, moving to the Loop with Dani, experiencing being 'home for the holidays' without any actual family to be home with, and .. I don't know.. the Sara of today, who can look back on things only a year ago and find I have a whole new perspective on them. ..I only wrote one public (well, as public as it can be when I have a total of 8, predominately inactive followers) blog post in 2013, mostly talking about overcoming fear to become the person I feel I'm called to be. It was mostly inspired by revelations from the LA Dream Center trip, and I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to look back on the goals and dreams I wanted so desperately to become a reality, and to be able to say that, even through all the changes and sorrow of this year, that they were able to come to fruition. I'm not in to new years resolutions, but I do highly recommend kickstarting your year with an inspiring, transformative experience, which can set the trajectory for how you are going to live, what goals you will meet or fall short of (but still come closer to, which is still GROWTH, something to celebrate!) in the coming adventure of 2014. No matter what 2013 held, don't let fear of who you were just last month keep you from being who you want to be tomorrow. This little blog post is nice for me to re-read, because it reminds me of my fears, and what overcoming them, even one step at a time, can lead to. 2013 was a hard year for me, but it has also brought me to exactly where I feel I'm supposed to be right now.

1/29/14 - "I'm good" I wore the reassuring words like a blanket. Cover, no, smother whatever was beneath, within. Protect yourself from the cold, vulnerable words might slip thru the holes in the blanket... exposed means they can feel temperature of your meaning. Heavy, heat from the heart. you can feel their response. Pray for a warm touch, but there's always risk of icicle daggers

2/19/14

it's just that

I have a lot of thoughts

ideas, fears, ..a lot of places that I'd like to explore

But they feel so heavy when it's just me and them

feels like there’s a lot of trees to climb before i get to the clouds

and I'd like to share them with someone

who cares about them just as much as I do,

someone with just as much to risk,

who understands each side of the story.

And sometimes, I see planets in those eyes,

but have no rocketship to get me there

And I see that depth, but there's just no way to tap in

Im searching for someone to explore with

those infinite galaxies in your mind and mine.

Someone to make sense of it,

write poetry about it

but not get so caught up that it's just us - no

Always God first.

Always seeking his planets, his stars, his truth..

and maybe that's the adventure..

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stormycloudzz · 7 years

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Anon Questions

1 - Who was the last person you texted? friend 2 - When is your birthday? 10th June 3 - Who do you want to be with right now? friends and boyfriend 4 - What sports do you play? haha me playing sports? funny joke 5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? old friend that i hate now 6 - What is your favourite song as of the moment? any Twenty One Pilots song tbh 7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? best friend and boyfriend 8 - What do you feel right now? tired and craving tea 9 - What chocolate is your favourite? lol i dont like chocolate 10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? 1gf 11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? because im obsessed with fandoms and i got nothing better to do 12 - Who is your favourite blogger? idk i like lots 13 - Where do you want to be right now? in bed (i am rn) 14 - What do you want to be in the future? idk im stressed with future life rn 15 - When was the last time you cried? Why? listening to Goner by Twenty One Pilots 16 - Are you happy? yep 17 - Who do you miss? idk 18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? yes (everyone in my family are happy together and we had a bit more money) 19 - What was the best thing you were given? my tablet 20 - Who was the last person who called you? friend 21 - What is your favourite dish? Chinese duck and pancake wrap thingies 22 - Who is your bestfriend? Beth 23 - What is your biggest regret? idk many things 24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner? noo i love him <3 25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? best friend 26 - Name someone pretty. Jaiden Animations 27 - Who was the last person you hugged? best friend 28 - What kind of music do you listen to? Twenty One Pilots and stuff 29 - Are you over your past? yea i guess 30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? idk lol 31 - What kind of person do you want to date? boyfriend 32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? i dont sleep at night. i sleep at day 33 - From whom was the last text message you received? friend 34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? jeans 35 - How’s your heart? alright 36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? no 37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? yep 38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? fuck off you twat 39 - Do you have any phobias? spiders, needles 40 - Did you try to change for a person? no 41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone? idk 42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? lol no 43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? good 44 - Name someone you can’t live without. friends 45 - Describe your dream date. idk 46 - Describe your dream wedding. idk lol 47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? i got sweets tbh thats better 48 - Have you ever been kissed? parents- yea. partner- no. we will do it when we’re ready (*cough* school friends *cough*) 49 - How long is your longest relationship? 6-7 months? 50 - Do you regret your past? somethings yea 51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? probably 52 - Have you ever cried over someone? yea 53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? yep 54 - Are you a crybaby? yes 55 - Do people praise you for your looks? no 56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? no 57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? yep 58 - Do you like getting hurt? no 59 - Does anyone hate you? probably 60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? YES AND NO REGRETS 61 - What hair colour do you prefer? idm tbh 62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? body 63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? yes 64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? yes 65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? yep 66 - Can you live without internet? noo 67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? idk 68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? no 69 - Are you a crybaby? yep 70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? no 71 - Are you a KPOP fan? noo 72 - Do you study hard? lol no 73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? no 74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? no 75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? yes 76 - Did you have an accident last year? no 77 - What kind of person are you? open minded 78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? yep 79 - Have you ever been jealous? yes 80 - How can you prove your love to someone? be there for them 81 - What are you thinking right now? im tired 82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? idk 83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? yes 84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? no 85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? yea 86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? yea 87 - Do you have trust issues? yep 88 - Are you broken-hearted? no 89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? boyfriend 90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? no pain 91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? sort of? 92 - Who do you want to marry? idk 93 - Do you believe in destiny? idk 94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? idk? 95 - How do you look right now? messy 96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? no 97 - Have you found your true love? idk 98 - What should you be doing right now? homework 99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. rachel (fucking bitch omg) 100 - What is your sexual orientation? biromantic 101 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? yea 102 - How old are you? 13 103 - What age do you get mistaken for? idk people dont say 104 - Who is your celebrity crush? tyler joseph, josh dun 105 - What is your OTP? joshler 106 - What is your favorite book/series? warrior cats 107 - Who is your favoroite author? Erin Hunter 108 - What is your favorite band? Twenty One Pilots 109 - What is your favorite TV show? Gravity Falls 110 - What is your favorite movie? Rise Of The Gaurdians / How To Train Your Dragon 111- Post a picture of yourself. lol no 112 - Post an old picture of yourself. lol no

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seeing-thesun · 8 years

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All even #❣️😘

Thanks girl!! 💕 2. Are you outgoing or shy? Super shy until I get to know someone and then I tend to be a little more outgoing  4. Are you easy to get along with? I try! I can be really needy tho lol 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? All kinds!  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? 😍 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My mom, earlier today 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? How Far I'll Go- alessia caraBurning love- Elvis Wild horses- birdy (Sam feldt remix)Church on Sunday- grace That's what I like- Bruno mars  14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? absolutely 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? probably idk  18. Do you still talk to your first crush? no, not for a few years now  20. Do you like your neighbors? yeah, most of them.  22. Where would you like to travel? Greece 😍😍😍 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? makeup every morning  26. What do you do when you wake up? snooze all 20 of my alarms lol 28. Who are you most comfortable around? bff Amelia  30. Do you ever want to get married? yes! I've wanted to get married since I was five  32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Rihanna and nick offerman 34. Do you play sports? What sports? I played soccer as a kid, but quit when I got to high school  36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah, I've had a few crushes that I didn't talk about lol  38. Describe your dream girl/guy? A bit taller than me but not too tall, cute, sweet, fun to be around, caring, spontaneous 40. What do you want to do after high school? well I'm out of high school, doing hair for a living, so that I guess  42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? it could be anything tbh lol 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? bottom of the ocean!  46. What are you paranoid about? Being annoying or being a shitty person or people getting tired of me. I literally need constant reassurance lol 48. Have you ever been drunk? yeah lol 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? maroon and white  52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? be less needy lol I'm such a baby 54. Favourite store? old navy! Or target  56. Favourite colour? blue  58. Last thing you ate? mashed potatoes  60. Ever won a competition? For what? nope.  62. Been arrested? For what? never  64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I was a freshman in high school and he was my first boyfriend lol 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? my two tumblr friends are my real friends lol  68. Twitter or Tumblr? I like both, but it depends on my mood  70. Names of your bestfriends?  Amelia  72. How many pillows do you sleep with? one, but there's like 6 on my bed  74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I saved one or two from when I was a kid  76. What colour is your underwear? black and lacy  78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Smores 😍 80. What colour pants? none  82. Favourite movie? it's a wonderful life  84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls!! 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Bruce 88. Last person you talked to today? S  90. Name a person you love? Amelia 92. In a fight with someone? Nope! Annoyed but not fighting  94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? like 4 but I think only one is actually mine  96. Favourite actress? Emma stone  98. Do you tan a lot? lol noooo I'm way too pale. I just burn and I'm back to being pale  100. How are you feeling? tired and stressed bad no more than usual  102. Do you regret anything from your past? yeah, a few things  104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Nope!  106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I seriously doubt it lol  108. What should you be doing? taking off my makeup and going to bed  110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? I don't think so  112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? lol Amelia when we went to see that dog movie  114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yeah, a bunch of times!  116. Are you listening to music right now? no, watching my 600 lb life  118. Do you like Chinese food? yes, but I'm super picky, so I only eat certain things from certain places lol 120. Are you afraid of the dark? yeah! I sleep with a nightlight 😂 122. Is cheating ever okay? no... 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Sort of!  126. Are you currently bored? nope!  128. Would you change your name? my last name for sure bc it reminds me of cowboys lol but I like my first name  130. Do you like subway? yeah!! Love it  134. Can you count to one million? if I tried yeah, but I don't have time for that  136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed!  138. Curly or Straight hair? curly on myself or curled but I look 12 with straight hair  140. Summer or Winter? both! Summer for activities but winter for the temperature  142. Favourite month? September and October  144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk usually  146. Was today a good day? yeah, my family got some bad news, but other than that it was good  148. What’s your favourite quote? I don't really have one  150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first lineThere's no books in this room lol

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