#it seems very gray
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As a very out of touch 24 y/o nonbinary person who's just trying to figure shit out cause I grew up in the south; is nonbinary in the trans community? Cause I'm not necessarily wanting to transition medically in any way, I'm comfortable with my weird lil body aside from maybe a binder, but I've heard both them being grouped together, and separately, and I just don't want to have the wrong idea
#lgbt#nonbinary#queer#ive seen completely oposite sides of the argument and it freaks me out cause i just wanna know where i belong#like im afab and tend to look somewhat like it#but i dont identify with it at all#im just a creature#but i dont want to upset ppl by getting the wrong idea#but also mentally i feel like i identify with the trans community but idk if its the same and dont want to intrude#i just dont feel like my birth sex but i dont want ro transition if that makes sense#just moments with mikky#ok to interact#it seems very gray#like my afab parts dont work properly and i think thats why im not so aggressive about transitioning but idk#ive been thinking a lot abt this and its kind of stressing me out and i want answers
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just road being road, cosplaying her siblings
#in celebration of new chapter#i wanted to do jasdevi + mananea but.#i have this terrible condition#its uncurable#and it seems to be chronic#called#being the laziest person in the world#yeah sorry u_u#its very tough to live with BTLPITW#u_u#anyways#dgm#d gray man#road kamelot#vicky.txt
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Mel haters are so funny to me because they quite literally have nothing to say against her besides "nooo she used Jayce for hextech!!" well, it's what happens when that's your fucking job
#also people do not know how to read#like my guy snapped at her bc he was confused and felt lonely and betrayed#and i don't think she used him in any way lmao the feelings were pretty much real but#but people forget there is a very very very blurry line when work and love get together#despite their love mel had her responsibilities and she is a politician after all#it is normal for jayce to feel betrayed and confused when they never fucking talk these things out i swear to god#their situationship is the clear consensual workplace relationship but angstier and worse and used as a metaphor for politics#'he was sunshine i was midnight rain' or something like that#their whole thing is so messy but they kinda did unconsciously use each other for their own reasons despite real love also being there#both things can coexist btw it seems like gray relationships and dynamics aren't a thing in fandoms or????#anyway mel if jayce don't want you i do i do i do i volunteer#arcane#mel medarda
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If Laura Ingalls Wilder had written The Wizard of Oz.
Kansas would be portrayed as a wondrous, beautiful place at least as good as--or better than--Oz.
Dorothy would come from a very devoted loving household.
Her father would be in the house with her when the tornado hit and would be her guide and protector through all their adventures.
Dorothy would absolutely still have a devoted dog.
Dorothy would not go to the Wizard to ask for help. The "kill the Witch" requirement (or some other quest) would be presented early on as the condition she had to fulfill to earn her way home.
Instead of giving life and backstories to inanimate objects (like the land of the porcelain figurines), the people and creatures Dorothy would meet would provide explanations for things that happen in nature (like, explain where the colors of sunset come from).
#the wonderful wizard of oz#laura ingalls wilder#books#the fun thing about ideas coming to me when i'm busy#is that you get the thoughts filtered through four layers of association#this started out when it hit me that it was super weird#that baum made dorothy's most intrinsic goal to be getting home to kansas#but portrayed kansas as 'it's gray and depressing and they're dirt poor and her aunt and uncle tolerate her at best'#and i compared that to how wilder made kansas seem beautiful#(yes she was writing this from nostalgia in the thirties)#(rather than in the immediate aftermath of the '90s depression)#(but even when she was living through that '90s depression)#(she saw parts of kansas she thought were gorgeous)#and then it hit me that wilder also wrote fantasy#so here's the post#and it's making me realize how much more of a fairy tale tone wilder's work has in some ways compared to baum's#she wrote a much more romantic but still very american fairy tale#never thought i'd place those two authors in the same category but there it is
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I fully agree the league timeline and lore is kind of a fucking mess rn and I don’t like that they made arcane canon, personally, just to let you know where I’m standing. But in Bite Marks, it doesn’t look at Kat has her MAGIC yet (she didn’t teleport to the knife, she just moved to it), and Darius has no grey hair and no scar, so I’m thinking (hoping) that this is just prequel to the invasion of Ionia and Swain’s coup. …but I have no faith in Riot to not literally retcon literally everything anymore, after they murdered Viktor.
I am speaking out of just about 2 watches of the video, but while Kat's move is kinda obscured, I do think it was meant to be read as her teleporting.
Like, she notices her target is moving freely, plants her dagger, move to the other side of Elise, only to go back to her dagger and kill her target, in a way that if it was just moving fast, Elise would have stopped her, given she stops the dagger mid-air.
But I get where you're coming from. There is still a way to make all of this a less awkward fit and we do have very little to go off fo, but we wouldn't be having this conversation if the stories told in this medium had their own continuity, understood to be, in parts, incomplete in regards to whole of the IP.
#And Darius not having gray hair and scars could be the regression to “conventional attractiveness”#I don't think it is. Fortiche clearly knows how to make diverse characters hotter than lava#LeBlanc has a much more distinct face shape here than on any other incarnation#But Riot itself seems to be very inclined to only making the most milktoast boring version of hot again and again#Arcane#League of Legends#Welcome to Noxus#Noxus#Katarina#Elise#Darius#Fortiche#Bite Marks
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One of my least favorite parts of how JRO wrote Optimus is that he wanted so badly to continue his dark and gritty world building making the Autobots problematic, but evidently couldn't reconcile this with Optimus being a Heroic Paragon, so instead he leaned way too hard into "oh Prowl was the one who did this and it was behind Optimus' back" which if anything I think makes Optimus look worse, not better. Because then it's like, okay I know Optimus trusted Prowl a lot as his friend but you CANNOT TELL ME that over the course of 4 million years, Optimus as the leader of the Autobot army who literally would have access to 99.9% of all the records they produce, would never notice or question where some of these odd/inconsistent details were pointing. It just seems really inconsistent with how a real military would actually function, especially regarding Optimus' character, who is incredibly thorough and responsible and wouldn't neglect to keep up with all the details of his army.
Hell, Optimus knows who the Wreckers are and had them on call for tricky operations when he needed them (Stormbringer) so he's literally not at all ignorant of/averse to the use of special wartime units composed of dubious individuals. He's the fucking commander of an entire army, of course he knows that War Is Hell (TM) and no one's hands are clean. That's not even getting into all the stuff he got up to in phase 2/3, I mean everything from the annexation of Earth to OP breaking humans out of prison against Council orders shows that Optimus is no stranger to immoral and/or unlawful means.
It also leads to a lot of annoying fanon where people write Optimus (sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not) as like some sort of ignorant fool who's unaware of the machinations of his own army or has some sort of naiveté of "b-but we can't use bad tactics against the enemy! I would never condone the use of morally gray means in war!" No, IDW Optimus knows perfectly well all of the bullshit he's enacted/condoned for the sake of trying to win the war. Some stuff is definitely out of character for him and was only machinated because of Prowl, but I think this fandom REALLY underestimates Optimus' personal agency/responsibility as the commander of a whole ass army and ESPECIALLY underestimates Optimus' capacity to condone morally gray Bullshit Of War while still being a good person individually as well as, comparatively, the lesser evil compared to Megatron/the Decepticons.
Anyways what I'm saying is JRO may be a good writer but he's really hesitant to make Optimus morally gray and does some asspulls sometimes to justify most of the bad things the Autobots did as "Optimus just didn't know," and since the majority of the IDW1 fandom only reads JRO's stuff they go running with this premise of ignorant/uninformed Optimus when there's evidence elsewhere in canon to show that Optimus is, in fact, very highly aware of the bullshit he's allowed "for the greater good" and the only stuff he was "unaware of" was the stuff he would literally never agree to the ethics of, like bombing innocent neutrals disguised as Decepticons to get them to join the Autobots.
#squiggposting#idw op love#i feel like part of the issue is that for a franchise whose entire premise is war#i feel like a lot of this fanbase. hasnt actually read a lot about war (fictional or nonfictional)#bc a lot of ppl here really seem to struggle with reconciling OP as a good person and OP#as a war leader who had bad things happen under his rule#and bc they dont know much about war in fiction or IRL they treat this as like. one extreme or the other?#when like if ur someone whos read a lot of war literature it's very easy to comprehend both of these as being true#like idk i think the 'OP was ignorant' defense isnt even how being a commander works#but it's also a cop out to make OP less interesting/morally gray than he could be#like idk how to explain that war is an inherently corrupt/immoral institution where in pretty much all of history#the act of waging war in itself is a moral compromise. war is literally about killing more of the other side than they do you#you are treating human life (and society and gov and the environment) as tools for victory#no matter how righteous your cause is or if you follow rules of engagement you literally are going to do bad things#so like this idea the fanbase seems to have where they like. want OP to be sheltered/ignorant of these realities#is SO not how reality works and wouldnt ever be in character for like 99% of optimi#i'm still trying to pull together my thoughts on this sorry the tags are so incoherent
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"The newly widowed Elizabeth (Woodville) was exceptionally vulnerable. Several of the trustees responsible for her jointure refused to hand over the manors that were meant to sustain her in her widowhood. Moreover, her brother-in-law, Edward Grey, had seized estates that her son Thomas should have inherited from his paternal grandfather, while her mother-in-law’s new young husband, Sir John Bourchier, had prevailed on Lady Ferrers to settle her principal properties on them jointly for life, ensuring that Thomas would have to wait far longer for this inheritance too. Rivers and Scales were pardoned in July 1461 and swiftly moved into the Yorkist establishment, which perhaps explains the success of the chancery suits Elizabeth launched to regain her jointure. Her son’s inheritance proved harder to recover. By 1463, Rivers was often in (Edward IV's) company and on his council, but Elizabeth needed someone with much stronger influence over the King. She turned to a distant kinsman, William, Lord Hastings, the King’s chamberlain. Hastings drove a very hard bargain for his aid but it was probably amid these negotiations that the King’s desire for Elizabeth was kindled."
-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: the Knight's Widow", Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, and Dynasty
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#Elizabeth really had terrible in-laws#And these people weren't even the worst of them - that particular award goes to Richard of Gloucester#As complicated as her first widowhood sounds it was a breeze compared to the literal nightmare she went through during her second.#Honestly though: part me wonders what Elizabeth's first marriage was like because we know absolutely nothing about it.#The marriage itself is a blank slate but the fact that her husband's parents & siblings were so indifferent and uncooperative#to her - and their own kid-grandchildren?? - after he died indicates that his family may have been rather dysfunctional imo?#Certainly they (or most of them) don't seem to have cared about the wellbeing or dignity of his young and newly widowed wife which#doesn't exactly suggest closeness or support during the marriage itself from their end.#Elizabeth doesn't mention John Gray in her deathbed will either though she mentions Edward IV. She may have thought it was#'inappropriate' to mention her first husband beside her significantly higher-ranked second husband...but she DOES mention her son by#her first marriage - which would have drawn attention to it anyway - alongside her royal daughter so that's unlikely to have been a reason.#Maybe it was simply the passage of time? She and John had been married for very few years and she lived such a different life after that#So it's possible that her first marriage simply seemed very distant and faraway to her.#Alternatively it may have simply been undivided affection for Edward IV (her husband of 19 years who she married for love)#which fits well into the relatively personal nature of her will.#Of course we don't actually know anything about any of this and this is all pure wild speculation on my end...but I'm curious.#It's really a shame how little we actually know about Elizabeth's life - made worse by the very limited primary records of Edward IV's#reign and the fact that his chamber records don't survive. And it's even more frustrating that this is so rarely actually acknowledged#by historians. I'd argue we know far more about the life & interests of most other 'prominent' women of the Wars of the Roses#(sans the Neville sisters) than we do about Elizabeth Woodville.
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Decanted the flower dyes I've got going yesterday.
The reason for decanting (rather than just removing the flowers) is that I was pretty sure I could get at least a little more color out of them, but the water was so saturated I didn't think it would happen before the flowers started to mold.
I also was going to strain all of them through a cotton rag to remove the particulate matter, which is mostly in the two hollyhock dyes, but that turned out to potentially not be a very good idea.
This one was marigold, the first dye I decanted and strained. I was in the process of pouring the right bottle into the left (through a folded rag that was in the funnel). I'm not sure if this will actually improve the color I get but the left bottle (which has been strained) does look a lot brighter !
After that was the yellow hollyhock. Same setup: right is before straining, left is after straining. I think I lost a lot of color--im starting to suspect that the color from hollyhock dye is in the particulate, which of course is what I strained out (although it's still very cloudy and there was clearly still particulate left, along with the much weaker color). So I didn't do that with the red hollyhock.
Sorry for the random assortment of jars and bottles, I think one of my roommates has been throwing away jar and bottle lids and I haven't had a chance to ask them yet, so this is what I was stuck with lol. The yellows and reds both look identical, although with hollyhock (from what I've read and seen myself) the color you see in the dye is not particularly likely to be the color that you end up with, so I'm not very bothered.
I refilled the jars with more water, and here's how they look today.
There was definitely more color left ! Especially with the nasturtium (which is a beautiful neon pink at lower concentrations) given that I'm still putting more flowers in.
#natural dyeing#natural dye#hollyhock#marigold#nasturtium#some of the nasturtium dye spilled and seemed to oxidize into gray which is very interesting
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People who are getting upset about Fernsong getting a small bit of hate would NOT survive being a Onestar fan
#Oh no your random bg character is getting hated on after 6 years of being praised for doing less than the bare minimum#Sorry but Fernsong in canon kind of sucks#We get one scene in a novella where he is mentioned to be in the nursery but that's it#In the main series it genuinely seems like he made a promise just so ivy would have kits with him and then immediately broke it#You can have all the den dad headcanons you want but... Thats not what we were shown in the books#In TBC shadowsight and rootspring's fathers were very active in their lives...#No big scenes with bristlefrost and fernsong#The line about him in the nursery was only there to shut up people sad about ivypool getting a mate#Pisses me off that it actually worked#You all praise warriors for doing the bare minimum#Warrior cats#Warriors#Fernsong#Fernsong hate#Warriors opinions#Onestar was a good character#Shitty SE not withstanding#'morally gray character enjoyers' when a real morally gray character comes at them
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Drawing the Dorian Gray Characters for class part 2! Basil Hallward<3
#goood i lovee basil sm#smitten artist he just like me fr#i feel like he was the same age as dorian but had more of a scruffy unkept beard at the age already#just more unkept in general whcih makes him seem a bit older#also made him very green because he has green vibes#feel like he could also be a dirty blond but i think this color fits more for his hair#basil hallward#the picture of dorian gray#tpodg#dorian gray#my art
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if no one else will say it i will. the ballad of songbirds and snakes should have been split into two movies
#HEAR ME OUT#i normally dont vote for splitting a book like that#BUT this one lost so much of the second half by being condensed#we lost all of the covey scenes and the work coryo and sejanus were doing#coryo was in 12 for a while and developed more of an attachment to lucy gray#but the movie made it seem like he was only there for a couple weeks#and a lot of the other mentors were VERY skipped over#i stand by this statement#the book was split into parts for a reason!#oh shush#tbosas#lucy gray baird#coriolanus snow#thg
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the urge to write morally gray f/f enemies to lovers h/c...
#it is 1am#on my mind rn is h/im/eko x ka/f/ka as exes (more morally gray) and#ko/k/osa/ra (less morally gray usually but still definitely enemies)#but i am pretty sure the snzblr interest in both those ships is nearly nonexistent#hime/ko x k/a/fka is so...#the PINING?? the miscommunication?? the 'character who doesn't feel pain and fear and seems impervious to everything#placed into a situation where they're forced to show vulnerability' I AM GRITTING MY TEETH!!#paired with 'character who is very much not over the breakup and does not want to show how much they still care'#in the reluctant caretaker role...#🍽️ 🍽️ 🍽️ the table is SET i am ready to eat#i have actually not written anything at all for months so i probably will not write anything now
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Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol
#There's a water problem in the apartment so thats been taking most of my attention lol.. the way maintenance happens here is just#this big long vague wait with no clear communication. You just send in a request to the apartment building and then you might hear from the#any weekday from 8am - 4pm any time after that. Sometimes it's quick but sometimes its like days before you hear anything. So then#you just have to be operating under the assumption that at any time during working hours you might get a call or a knock at the door#Like if you were expecting company at any time for a week straight ghjhj.. ANYWAY.. I've been working on making a little discord#server thing for the game maybe for playtesters to communicate in initially i guess but then also after it's out or... something like that.#no idea how all of that works. but you hear about people doing it. or something... Still not entirely sold on the idea since I'm not really#a big user of discord format speaking (like little chats and stuff) but.. again idk.. seems like.. common.. for things...(< socially odd#hermit fumbling through trying to imitate what '''normal''' people do/enjoy/desire lol..). Since I think my biggest issue is I am very bad#at socializing and thus marketing since a lot of that is social. The type to just google ''what do people do about games once they've#made them'' and just go after whatever the top 10 things apparently are hjbjhbjh... But like I said. still unsure it will be utilized. it#all feels very awkward to me. then again most things do. But that's what the ''overall progress'' screenshot is from. the little channel#where I've been posting updates to myself lol. Also ''coding'' in that being used very lightly consdering it's ren'py and I'm only using#the very bare bones most basic functionality of it lol. Extremely intense highly daunting master level coding such as ''if x then y''. gbjh#slacked on writing a lot due to the evil maintenance and such things... and just general... appointments... events... aughhhhhh#I think it's Goose Time here or something because nearly every day I hear big V shaped rows of geese flying by like multiple#times a day and they're so pretty and neat to watch. They've really inspired me somehow. Today it was rainy and gray skied and high winds#and cold (some of my favorite most beautiful weather) and I went out to check the mail and like 6 or 7 rows of geese fluttered#by in the air. I felt like that meme image of that guy that looks kind of weird (william dafoe??) and its like black and white and#he's looking up at something almost teary eyed wide eyed in awe.. The goose... those are my goose.. the universe sent those gooses just#for me and the high speed winds blowing my coat open and chilling my face... a tender platonic kiss from the world is often delivered#by way of chilly weather and bird formations.. peace and love on planet earth truly..#OH and of course.. boy with boy!!!! shout out to those little mcdonalds toy animal plushies from like 2006 or something. I found the#gray cat one and was like.. hrmm.. I have one of those as well (a real life gray cat). surely they're friends now.
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I hate hate HATE that "touch grass" has become this gotcha concept. I hate that it's seen as "haha you are too online" instead of "here is genuine and well-meant advice that will make your life better." For Ilsensine's sake there are studies proving that looking at a picture of plants improves your mental state when you're stuck inside.
It's not something I say a lot (because of this nonsense) but please if I ever do say "touch grass" I truly genuinely mean it, and I mean it in this particular way. I mean it like "Moss."
#Wildermyth is a good game#it is all very sad actually#and every year I seem to cry less and less#but I know that kind of weariness#and I know that fear you feel when it seems like your heart has grayed#may you rove around to look at the moss#bend down to look at the clover#run your fingers through the moss and the clover#smell the damp earth and stones#Wildermyth
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You ever just see something that makes you say "yes, this is what is supposed to happen."
Because one of my cats loves cardboard boxes so today she spent a long time like this
#cat#cats#my cat#cats in boxes#i love her orange arm#most of her fur is gray tabby so her orange arm just seems so cool to me#she's mostly gray tabby with some spots of orange#but her arm is the most orange part of her#her purr is also very loud and I love her so much
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Rereading The Raven Cycle ten years later and why is the Gray Man making me feel ~a type of way~? Is it because I’m older now, and he’s like an intellectual, nefarious version of Gansey? His flirting with Maura sent me over the edge, he recited poetry on the spot per Calla’s request, and now he’s sitting in a stakeout passing the time by reading a translated Bede’s Death Song?? Daddy hitman 🥵
#gurl I can barely remember his story#I don’t remember him at all#I remember very specific things about this series and seem to have forgotten others but this is a pleasant and entertaining surprise lmao!!#does he survive?? I can’t remember!! I’m in for the ride#the Raven cycle#decade trc reread#trc#the gray man
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