#it reminds me of little me trying out dnd with random groups not knowing anyone. it’s really struck a chord in me :(

[killianhemlock]

SENZ I KNOW YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE THIS AND I WILL NEVER HAVE THE BALLS TO POST THIS SOMEWHERE UOU CAN SEE BUT LISTEN TO ME !!!!!!!!!! PEOPLE LOVE YOUR CHARACTER, ALL OF HIS FLAWS ARE WHAT MAKES HIS CHARACTER SO GREAT IT ISNT A HINDRANCE AT ALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOPIXEL IS HARSH SOMETIMES AND MOST OF THE THINGS DONE TO LINK AFFECTED YOU TOO AND THATS OKAY!!!! YOURE FINDING YOUR GROUP!! YOURE FINDING YOUR MOTIVATION !!

SHAKES HOU SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU PLEASE HEAR ME DUDE YOU ARE DOING SO FUCKING WELL FOR KNOWING ABSOLUTELY NO ONE GOING INTO THE CITY !!!!! YOURE DOING SO GREAT AND PEOPLE LOVE YOUR CHARACTER !!!!!! YOU HAVE DONE YOUR BEST WITH WHAT WAS GIVEN TO YOU, AND YOURE EATING THAT SHIT UP !!!!! KEEP GOING DUDE !!!!!

[walksinlatewithcoffee]

“I was traumatized by a so-called friend who used my interests against me so I can’t let anyone know I have Interests check!”

Anyway funny story my lock screen is this like old school tumblr text and image collage that I found on google and I chose it cause it reminds me of Tubbo. It’s got all sorts of corny inspirational messages and little drawings of bees and the whole thing is yellow.

Like that’s my idea of having a mcyt wallpaper on my phone. A random result from googling “tumblr phone wallpaper” that just so happened to be bee themed. And even then I’m terrified of someone noticing that it’s bee themed and noticing that my home screen wallpaper is Pokémon themed (I’m was supposed to be a placeholder but I’m kinda vibing with it, it’s the gen 3 intro screen with the bikes but turned into a full rectangle and it’s actually cool I might keep it for a while) and connect the dots that they’re probably both fandom related and hhhhhh

So yeah just a tiny vent about the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and my trauma from ninth grade when my so called best friend found my ffnet account and cyber bullied me off the website then blamed it on my other best friend. I never told either of them my account name or what the story was about, just that I was writing something. I still to this day don’t know how she knew it was me cause I used a fake name n everything.

I stopped writing completely for like a whole year. Not fanfiction, not original fiction, not poetry, nothing.

Dear lord the thought of someone finding out I watch Minecraft streamers I think I’d die. Even though I know for a fact none of my current friends would even care much less try to pull shit but... idk fandom stuff just Hits Deep. It’s the adhd man.

In high school found a DS Zelda game in a parking lot and threw it away cause I associated the franchise so strongly with someone I was friends with in middle school who also kinda fucked my whole life up to the point where none of that friend group can remember anything from middle school. It’s just a repressed blur. I thought I’d be cursed if I kept anything that reminded me of her.

I couldn’t think about two of my favorite anime for like a year cause the girl that got blamed for the cyber bullying made me move in with her for college, got me to share my favorite shows with her cause she was my only friend for a long while, then destroyed our friendship over stupid shit! Then she made all our mutual friends stop talking to me, then went so far as to track down my younger friends in our hometown and try to make them drop me too.

Luckily they didn’t cause they’re not stupid and they know damn well all the nerdy/geeky/etc. girls in my graduating class were manipulative assholes who preyed on my people-pleasing nature and that none of them could be trusted.

But still. I genuinely hate sharing my interests with people. I hate talking about fandom stuff with people.

But I love talking about fandom stuff with people. I miss getting to talk about fire emblem with some of my community college friends who got me into it in the first place (transferred to the school in my hometown, things were better there) and DnD is always fun with my group.

I even found someone who likes the same cringe anime I do, the sort you don’t tell ANYBODY about in 2020.

And now all I wanna do is tell everyone I know about mcyt. But I can’t. All the joy of telling people about it would be immediately crushed by fear and regret.

[catcatb0y]

I'm gonna update this a little bit: I'm not going to reblog hostile shit (with the intention of agreeing with it). Activists/minorities/marginalized people absolutely have the right to be angry at their oppressors, but treating (everyone who is different) as an oppressor is... not healthy, and it's exhausting.

I'm not out here on Tumblr dot com to guilt my followers into feeling bad about things that they cannot control. I'm not out here on Tumblr dot com to remind myself that the world outside is rotten and bad and I'm powerless to stop it.

I don't have that kind of mental health. It's exhausting.

I want to bring awareness to things and to help people learn just as I am and just as I have, but negativity is exhausting and not helpful. If you can't be constructive, I'm just... not going to pay attention to it anymore. It's not that I don't care I'm just... I'm so tired.

There are so, so, so many problems out there and so, so, so many of them are out of my control. I really want to "do better" but there is so much to "do better" at.

Really, I'm mostly putting this out here for me, but, if you're ever wondering if I have anything on (recent really shitty thing or event), I probably don't. I try to reblog as many resources and facts as I can, but I don't have enough time or energy to fact-check them all.

I'm still working to break out of the shitty, small minded, and probably ignorant bubble that I was raised in, but I'm learning slowly. I don't appreciate being or feeling attacked simply by not knowing things, and, when I see posts that do so, I'm just going to ignore them.

They feel bad.

It would be different if I were learning something, but I'm not, I'm just feeling bad- which spoiler alert! I already felt bad!

But seriously, there's a difference between 'celebrating the bare minimum' and 'encouraging small steps to a greater change' and just saying "yeah, well, you still need to do better," is... exhausting? And discouraging?

Like yeah if you're bare minimum activism is "I didn't call anyone a slur today!" then you need to step the fuck up, but if you can say, "I made an attempt at learning how to recognize my bias!" That's great! Sure, it's not always going to be the best you can do, but telling someone who has started to recognize that, they 'need to do better' is like...

It's really fucking discouraging and annoying, quite frankly.

We all seem to forget what it feels like to learn- or more specifically to RElearn and work past our own biases. Telling people that are in the process of this to "do better," is the easiest way to get them to stop.

Ugh idk I might delete this or start unfollowing people (if I do, it's nothing personal), but we ALL have progress that needs to be made and there will always be two sides to one story.

There are certainly, definitely, for sure people that don't WANT to learn, that aren't WILLING to learn- and I know them and I've come from them, but assuming that EVERYONE is WILLFULLY ignorant of the things that are going on, or of certain words or phrases, or whatever it is... it's just taking your anger out on random people...

Anyway, I, like many other people, am here to distract myself from my daily life- including all of the bad shit that ends up being talked about on here. This is social media. Being "woke" and informed is cool, but taking it out on others isn't... unfortunately a lot of us aren't going to be able to inact the change that we want or that we need and getting stuck in it day is and day out is just draining.

I'm sorry that I, or others, don't understand what you're going through. I'm sorry that a part of my DnD stats circle of privilege has a bar that's higher than yours. I'm sorry that I can't help you or your people when they're going through a hard time. I'm sorry. I really am.

But getting mad at me or getting mad at anyone who passes by you isn't going to help. We are all needed to enact change. Those with multiple privileges and those with only one or two. Change is a group effort, and it's only possible when we push for and expect the best of each other.

Hopefully, we can reach true equality through equity, but, until then, fighting amongst ourselves isn't going to work (we're just playing into the REAL oppressors hand), because we're stronger together.

You do not have to ship BakuDeku to interact with this blog, nor do you have to like Bakugou.

However, this blog is Pro BakuDeku and avidly supports Bakugou's character development. If either of these make you uncomfortable, you are free to leave. This blog is not pro abuse, but we are pro cats because they are soft and fluffy.

If any of this displeases you, feel free to unfollow and block if you so chose.

If not, please have a good day and enjoy the brain rot of my daily life, including but not limited to: dumb posts, bad jokes, and cat videos.