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poge-life · 4 years

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UnderBelly{ Sweet Pea: Chapter One

Stephanie "Stevie" Jones was standing at her so called "locker" when her pinked best friend joined her, "Yes, Toni?" Stevie turned her attention to look at her, who just sent her a smile.

"Your brother is coming today so I can show him around. How ya feeling?" Toni asked, as Stevie turned back to her locker, grabbing her jacket before shutting it and turning back to Toni

"Fine. I see him all the time at home now. Not really different. Except for the fact that now we'll literally be spending every second together. But, now you guys get to deal with another hot head." Stevie explained, linking her arm with Toni

"Wanna come with? I'm sure he'd feel better with a familiar face to help show him around." Toni asked, looking over at the brunette. Stevie shook her head in response, "Can't. I'm supposed to meet Sweet Pea at lunch."

Toni smirked at the mention of their tall friend and Stevie nudged her before turning to walk to the stairs that led to the cafeteria, "Wipe the smirk off your face Topaz. He's just a friend."

"I'm just saying. You two have been hanging out a lot more recently. Before, you two couldn't even be in the same room together without me and Fangs having to hold you guys from beating each other." Toni laughed, causing Stevie to glare at her.

They both turned to walk into the Cafeteria before Stevie stopped at the doorway. She felt a smile make its way across her face at the sight in front of her. Sitting on top of a table where other serpents sat, was Sweet Pea; laughing at whatever was said.

Toni couldn't help but smile at Stevie, knowing how happy she was when she was around Sweet Pea.

"I gotta go grab your brother. Save me a seat?" Toni saluted and turned to walk back up the stairs they just came down from. Stevie shook her head at her pink haired friend and turned to put on her jacket.

At southside high, if you weren't wearing a serpent or ghoulie jacket, you were up for grabs by the ghoulies. But with Stevie being the daughter of Fp Jones, meant that no one even dared to try anything with her.

Stevie made her way to where the Serpents were sitting, causing Sweet Pea to hop off the table and smile at her, "Hey there, princess."

Stevie groaned at the nickname and shoved past her tall friend, "We've talked about this. I hate that nickname." She plopped down on the bench next to Fangs, who sent her a smile and she winked at him in return.

Fangs Fogarty was the newest addition to the Serpents. Having joined at the start of the school year and Stevie thought he was absolutely adorable. He was attractive, she would give him that. Despite having just joined the serpents, him, Stevie, Toni, and Sweet Pea were basically the four musketeers.

Sweet Pea sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side, "Actually. You talked and I listened. And I decided that I'm gonna keep calling you that until I come up with something better."

Fangs had sent both of his friends a look at the sight of them being all lovey dovey at the lunch table. Sweet Pea and Stevie both threw up the middle finger and turned their attention to the conversation that took place before Stevie sat down.

While Stevie was distracted, she didn't see her brother or her best friend walk into the cafeteria but Jughead did notice his sister. Or rather who his sister was with.

"Who's that with my sister?" Jughead asked, pointing to said girl. Toni turned her head to see who he was pointing at and let a smile make its way across her face. Stevie was laughing at whatever Fangs had said while Sweet Pea groaned, flipping him off

"Sweet Pea. He's helped her with everything going on with your dad. He's a good guy. He has a temper. But he's okay." Toni explained

"She sits with you guys?" Jughead asked in confusion and Toni sent him a look of confusion

"She's a serpent. Why wouldn't she be?"

"Stevie? She's not a serpent."

Toni rolled her eyes at the beanie wearing boy and crossed her arms over her chest, "She's been one for while now. Right after your mom left. Probably around the time you left."

"Why didn't she tell me?" He mumbled and turned to walk away. Toni shook her head and made her way over to her friends, "Why didn't you tell your brother you were a serpent?"

Stevie sat up straight and turned to look over at Toni who raised her eyebrows at the girl. Stevie sighed and ran her hands thru her hair. "He gets enough shit about our dad being a serpent and being from the southside. I didn't wanna add fuel to the fire for Alice Cooper to take a dig at me too. I mean, I'm surprised she doesn't know and hasn't outed me to all of Riverdale."

"You guys live with each other. How'd he never notice?" Fangs asked, furrowing his eyebrows

"Jug left after our dad went off the wagon when our mom left. He just now moved back in when dad turned himself around. Besides, I'm always with you guys or at the wyrm so he never got a chance to figure it out." She shrugged, leaning back into Sweet Pea's side.

Toni and Fangs shared a look before turning to face their two friends who glared at them.

"Anyways, we all have a bio project due and her and I are going to the library while you two figure how you're gonna help." Toni spoke, grabbing her bag as Stevie did the same and stood up

"Wait, we have a library?"

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"You didn't tell me you were a serpent." Jughead spoke as Stevie walked into the kitchen of their trailer. She sighed and set her bag and jacket on the table

"You weren't around after Dad fell off the wagon. Even though he was here, he wasn't really here. He was either drunk or passed out on the couch. They've been a family to me over the last few years." She explained, looking over at her brother who just nodded

"Why didn't you tell me? I'm your brother? Do mom and dad know?"

"Because you've already been through so much! You were crushed when mom and JB left. And you left as soon as stuff with Dad got bad. I became one after you stopped living here. Dad was barely there and I needed protection. What better way to get that then joining the serpents. They've been here through everything. When the sheriff department came in here and trashed the place, they were there. When dad got arrested, they were there while you were off living in the Northside!" Stevie exclaimed, standing up to walk to the sink, her back to her brother.

She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, tears threatening to fall, "You've always been so judgemental about the serpents. I couldn't have you judge me too." Stevie spoke in a quiet voice

"I'm not judgemental about the serpents." Jughead started before Stevie cut him off

"You won't even sit with us at lunch!" She exclaimed, turning to look at him

A knock at the door prevented them from arguing anything further. Stevie sighed and walked over to the door, opening it to reveal Sweet Pea with Toni and Fangs on their bikes behind him. He raised his eyebrow at the sight of her bloodshot eyes, "you okay princess?"

Stevie cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"If you say so. You ready?" He asked, crossing his arms and she nodded

"Just gotta grab my stuff." She turned to the kitchen and grabbed her backpack and jacket, " I'll see you at school, Juggie."

Stevie shrugged her jacket on and placed her backpack on her back, shutting the door behind her as Sweet Pea wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "You sure you're okay?"

"I'll tell you later, promise. Anyways, did you use the notes I gave you for your bio test?" Stevie asked, looking up at the tall serpent. She took note of his appearance. He had a green t-shirt on with his denim/flannel serpent jacket on. His hair, which was usually gelled off to the side, was kind of messy today. Not that she minded.

"For like all of 10 minutes. I don't need to study. Collins is an idiot. He'll pass us no matter how we do on the test." Sweet Pea scoffed, walking them over to his bike before removing his arm from her and throwing his leg over his bike, Stevie standing next to him.

"Doesn't matter. You still need to learn this stuff if you wanna graduate next year." Stevie huffed, running her fingers through his hair. If it was anyone who wasn't Stevie, he probably would have broken their wrist, but Stevie was the only person he allowed to touch his hair

Toni and Fangs shared a look with each other, rolling their eyes at the two before Toni called out, "C'mon love birds! We still gotta go to school."

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Stevie sat next to Toni in their English class with Jughead at the desk next to them and Sweet Pea sitting on top of the one diagonal from Jughead. Toni and Jughead were really the only ones paying attention to what Mr. Phillips had to say as Sweet Pea was on his phone and Stevie was doodling in her notebook. Very rarely did Stevie pay attention in her English class, mainly because she already knew everything he had taught.

The entire class was startled by Sweet Pea's sudden outburst.

"What?! Dammit!"

Kicking over the chair in front of him, he stormed out of the class and Stevie rolled her eyes and started packing up her bag

"Stevie..." Mr Phillips started before she cut him off by waving her hand at him.

"I'm already on it."

It wasn't the first time Stevie was sent after Sweet Pea after one of his outbursts. Everyone knew about his temper and how it was suicide mission for anyone to try and stop it. Stevie was often called out of class by either fellow serpents or Fangs and Toni who had texted her and told her about him storming off in a rage.

She pulled her bag over her shoulder and saluted the class before running after said serpent.

Stevie found him outside, kicking the crap out of a trash can. She rolled her eyes and rushed down the steps, "Pea? Hey! Look at me!"

Stevie dropped her bag and grabbed his face in both of her hands causing him to stop his assault on the trashcan and to turn his attention towards her.

"What happened?"

"Those damn Ghoulies. Fucking Malachai showed up at the wyrm, trying to get some of the other serpents to run JJ for him. They refused so they swung first." He explained causing her to nod her head, "Hey! Tall Boy and Hog eye can take care of the wyrm. Right now, you just need to calm down! You can't just go running out of class every time the ghoulies do something that piss you off!"

She noticed his breathing had slowed down and she took this time to look over his face. If you weren't paying close attention or looking close enough, you wouldn't even notice that he had very faint freckles on the bridge of his nose, running across his cheeks. He had black outlining his deep brown eyes with specks of gold in them. He also had an indent of a dimple by his mouth that only showed when he smiled, which he did when he was around Stevie.

"Enjoying the view, princess?" Sweet Pea smirked, causing Stevie to snap out of her thoughts and remove her hands from his face, reaching down to grab one of his large ones in her small hand.

"C'mon. Let's go down to the quarry. We need to get Toni if I have to deal with you and Fangs together." Stevie spoke, turning to grab her bag and lead Sweet Pea back inside of the school.

#sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea imagines #sw #sweet pea fanfic #riverdale #riverdale imagines #riverdale smut #riverdale fanfic #jordan connor #jordan connor imagines #jordan connor imagine #jordan connor smut

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 4 years

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Okay I was talking to the amazing @border-spam and I kinda accidentally Went Off in her inbox so imma ramble here instead cuz I wanna go more in depth on the topic of the afterlife in the borderlands universe bc it is definitely canon thru the Guns Love and Tentacles dlc

Tl;dr: at least they didn't introduce time travel [stares directly into Lilith's fucking soul]

So she brought up the whole aspect of the siren afterlife where the siren can choose their successor or let their powers go off and choose 'their own' user (and they usually choose young kids for some reason) which is a weird thing to suddenly introduce in the 3rd game, because this should've been, if it did exist, talked about before in past- Maya would not have been the first person to know about this. And the fact that this siren afterlife even exists is a weird thing to have in general, to even introduce as a story point when they could've kept it as randomly chosen people getting siren powers (because what sort of sicko wants to give a little girl a probably shortened life of pain and fear that they themselves had to live through).

And it IS weird because introducing an afterlife is just a wild thing to do in a universe where technology can be used for all sorts of weird shit and magic borderline (pretty much) exists. I mean ik we're all pretty much on the page that siren stuff ISN'T actual magic and is instead Eridian stuff that hasn't been explained, but still you get what I mean it is insanely advanced tech or science that looks like magic to us

Because listen. In GLaT that side quest where you go help the dead little girl. That happens because of Maliwan tech. I remember, because I remembering musing to myself that it is probably the same sort of Maliwan tech used to access Heck during the Bloody Harvest event. I am going somewhere with this I promise

Firstly, since this afterlife or weird death dimension is Officially Canon (idk if the Bloody Harvest event is canon but this is official main DLC so it's canon), why is it never mentioned by the characters? I feel like they wouldn't keep quiet about it, and told Tannis, and I don't think she would have let that go without investigating it. The characters don't know they're in a story, and they don't care about satisfying character arcs or development or shit. If Lilith or Tina had the ability to see Roland again, don't you think they'd try? If Ava or Krieg knew there was a chance they could speak to Maya, even if for one last time, don't you think they'd go for it?? Like they don't care about satisfying character arcs, they would try it. Tannis invents a machine that lets us go inside people's heads, this is a universe where you can copy/turn people into AI, and put that AI in a robot body, don't you think SOMEONE would try to make that happen??? When the afterlife scientifically EXISTS?? This removes, like, ALL stakes if we're literally able to open portals to this death dimension and talk to the people in it. And in a game where the writers were soooo adamant that the new-u stations aren't canon, why did they introduce the concept of an afterlife in a dlc that is canon

There is more to this, hang on, I'm not just bitching abt logistics I swear

Okay so when you go thru that quest, there are manticores that appear. Manticores are enemies on Nekrotefeyo, so it's weird that they suddenly appear in this 'completely unrelated' area of the game. I put that in quotes because it's probably related tbh. The green colors in this dimension and the wisps and everything remind me a LOT of Nekrotefeyo's core spilling out. It also reminds me a lot of the wisps we see when we kill Guardians, of their souls/minds getting whisked away to be put in either the main place they're stored OR into another Guardian body, but those are usually R e d. It ALSO reminds me a lot of Krieg's mind's planetscape in his dlc, same color scheme and everything

So u guys know I am a big fan of the whole Eridians created humanity as a step up from the Guardians theory, because we see guardians/Eridians in the murals of the Vaults interacting with humans and gifting the babies Eridian relics and such and such. There are human statues in the Vaults, sirens are obviously linked to Eridians, etc etc. They clearly, at the very least, lived side-by-side, tho I believe the Eridians created humanity. I believe this theory very hard, I wrote a whole essay on it previously, yada yada. So if we take it one step further and imagine that the Eridians created a place to store Guardian souls when they die before they find a new vessel (the inside of Minos Prime, perhaps? The inside of Nekrotefeyo?), what is stopping them from doing the same thing for humans??

Which would explain how this place is accessible through technology- it is a physical place created by Eridians. If it IS the core of Nekrotefeyo, given the color scheme being the same as the death dimension and human 'wisps', it would make sense that dark Maliwan is there doing research and why it is their portals specifically that can access this area, and, if bloody harvest IS canon, why we only fight Maliwan soldiers in Heck (besides ratch). They were exploring their new discovery until we came along

It would also explain how sirens are able to choose their successors after they die- they're brought back to the 'collection unit', the 'soul storage place', idk, and they can either choose someone to burden, or let the powers go and choose a random person.

Which is really messed up if u think about it, but then I don't believe the Eridians are good people ever since they started feeding us to the Destroyer, soooooo.

I wonder if wisps eaten by the Destroyer are lost forever. If so, then I wonder if Steele's Siren powers are gone and that's why her resurrected claptrap body couldn't use her powers, or if her wisp just escaped and her powers went to some random person.

Also why didn't Nyriad choose Leda instead of the twins to give her powers to. It's like Nyriad wanted them to suffer bc she locked herself in the Vault they were conceived in. And like... Can wisps not escape Vaults? Then that brings me back to Steele's Siren powers. She did technically die? Outside the Vault? I think? It's not 100% clear cuz she was definitely impaled outside of it, but idk when exactly she died died. I mean there's the whole thing about how they recovered her body in the first place, buuuut let's not go there bc I'm already brain hurt for today

The main point is: the afterlife is weird. I think it's a place created by the Eridians to store people when they die, and that's why it's a physical place we can go to and open portals to and why the Sirens have the opportunity to burden other people with their powers when they die. It does make me wonder if Troy had absorbed Maya's entire fuckin wisp when he turned her into hot chocolate powder, or just her powers. Cuz the powers go to Ava when Troy's dead, meaning Maya DID choose, but did she choose immediately after she died, or only after Troy died.

These are questions that MUST be answered they're IMPORTANT HHHHH

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #I'm so tired

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ckcker · 4 years

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Fear of Being There

The scientists put 3D glasses on a cuttlefish I read in an article, which I pair with the unread email from a friend of twelve years sitting one tab away, it appears to partly be a link to some video. Feeling brave, I gather speed and push to the open email, purposefully ignoring all of the friend’s written message to zoom into the thumbnail of the video link they shared with me, which shows on one side of the thumbnail the shocked open mouth of a drag queen reacting to what I assume to be the most heinous transgression. On the other side, a porcupine’s needles blasting from inside the mid-section of what appears to be a burmese python. “How could this scenario have ever happened,” I ask myself as I don’t click, then scan the message written above the link:

“are you still in Kansas City??”

“I saw our high school English teacher walking in the park with a huge clump of moss stuck on her ass, I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a long time”

“Carrie is in NA now and I never see her. also I adopted a dog”

“I’m sad I haven’t heard from you in a long time but I respect that you are just doing your thing, doing what you think is best for you, I love you. enjoy this video of a drag queen screaming as she watches a porcupine impale a boa constrictor from the inside, it really made me laugh. It’s not real”

“I would love to visit some time if you’d have me, I would love a long road trip, no pressure.”

All I ever felt towards this person was worry; they were frequently to be found painfully descending the valley of some knotty, unlubed parabola. Suicide often seemed on the table though it was never openly discussed, and what was discussed and unburdened between us never seemed to offer this person any relief. But, I had not seen them in almost two years — still, I worried. The gristle of sympathy. Though now I could only think this person a bit stupid for not electing revenge as the only compatible solution. They wallowed, tried to make inroads on the community around them, multi-tasker, all I did was worry, wonder if there was no chance for them. On my better days I in fact stopped worrying because I resolved to believe that there was no chance for them. On worse days I used to encourage them to online date, to take classes in some technical craft and escape minimum wage, incredibly coming from me who has yet to escape minimum wage, I bloated them with the most despicable general advice most likely invented by some phantom community and popularized by rotating day time talk show cryptids. I surprised myself, the self-help industry deluge came spilling readily from my own mouth, I had no other advice to give. No effect. I had no idea what could help someone, I did not respond to the e-mail, the scientists put 3D glasses on the cuttlefish to study if it uses stereoscopic vision to hunt, love that.

I responded to the email by going out for a long walk. The walk proceeded as planned. And then, in front of my eyes, the glistening juice of a misdirected frappé bronzed itself on the sunlit sidewalk. It was June. The person who bought then dropped it when attempting to give their companion a lil sip seemed one or two involuntary grunts away from the most amateur keening. We did not know each other and passing by I said nothing, in another hour and a half it would be sunset and that was the daily alarm for my worst and most stupid memories.

Walking without a plan for a couple miles had led me to nothing specific: a popular cafe with drive-thru option, and the entrance to some truncated nature preserve with an ample parking lot, that I barely observed. The humiliated and frappé-less melody of the forlorn customer began to spread over my shoulder, I averted my gaze from the nature preserve to treat it as if an attractive face I was intimidated by. The only use for such a pathetic nod to wilderness in an urban area should be frequent alien abduction. I knew better than to hope for that, I was not a good multi-tasker and did best with a single plan of attack. And I already had a good plan, through subtle make-up I was looking older by the day (more like the month). Pretty soon I would dye my hair grey. I considered it was something the young people of the era liked to do and not for the reason of appearing aged. In fact, more than anything this coalition of young and old visual signifiers increased the proof of their wrinkle-free faces and accentuated the domineering stylistic awareness inherent to youth in a, unnaturally long energy-sucking sigh, capitalist country. I continued to high step forward like a finickety markhor in a fugly mood. Then, finding myself facing a hard-to-cross state highway I concluded, “oh, haha…ok, ah……that’s fine” and turned back towards the unused nature preserve parking lot, “I am almost too far away from home anyway.” I sat on a curb on the side farthest away from the road. Looking across the street I saw that the customer and friend had started to kiss. A simple solution to the loss of the drink. His body turned awkwardly, I allowed myself to espy the torque of the male’s twisted cargo short pocket and felt very little. I was turned away from the forest preserve entrance, at sunset I would have the executioner’s urge to once again survey and prepare my Doha nights.

The arrival of sunset did not derail my day, but it always succeeded in sequestering my concentration so as to remember that, perhaps, time — I felt fully sick of telling myself about it. I would prefer an obsession more traditionally fun, there was something about the way the eyebrows (with near-unibrow between) met the sharp lines at the top of the hyrax-like nose of Q.C.’s gradually-hot-to-me face. I did not spend too much time thinking on him, I had little control over my eyes when in his presence. Worse, attempting to appeal to him would mean calling off the whole ambitious deterioration project, which was fully under my control/the best path forward. I did not spend much time thinking of him when not in his presence and the collective shimmy of maple tree leaves in the breeze appealed to my left side as it carried on through the row of trees behind me. A sparrow bopped around the swath of thick grass to my right and was not interesting at all. I knew I felt this about the sparrow because I turned away from it quickly. Finally I rotated towards the nature preserve entrance. Was this an opportunity for me to snag a poesis? I wanted to be home in my bed alone. I also wanted to pretend to be thriving, inspired and free. I wanted to try to see the world for the first time again.

I got up and started towards the forest path with the confidence and direction of the professional managerial class. To appeal to Q.C. would involve a gravitational u-turn, I would have to cut my hair better, with more style and intention, I would have to once again attempt to wear clothes that mostly fit my body, with careful monitoring of the area where jeans could be hit firm with zested glute. I would have to invest much mental analysis into determining how to embody his desire. I would have to keep emphatic track of my body language and reactionary expressions when near him so as to appear at least some low level of confident and laid back. The antithesis of an angry errant stump, sucking vengeance through an ancient straw lined with obsidian spikes that clacked ominously against dentures I did not need. I could not appear as “depressed for two.” Again, and worst of all, I would have to deselect the only source of direction for the future, my only true idea for satisfaction: the pursuit of my literally new age. My only chance to repair my original timeline, by controlling my own time. The old tension between wanting badly to be noticed and desired by others, and wanting that definition of freedom which is the refusal of all external attention, both approval and disapproval, in order to bring about the most contained stability — of course that tension ran me ragged once again. That wan zit, it really seemed scripted at this point, I worked very hard to send it to the background. My body clearly sensed this when it activated the release of an ear wax ball the shape and weight of a gently used cheek piercing stud. The feeling associated with its premiere and gruesome launch was similar to just catching the last concrete appearance and subsequent fadeout of a semi-interesting-but-ultimately-unremarkable ghost of a 52 year old coffee mug.

I entered the forest, which began with a layer of joyless mulch. The opening of the trail had dimensions so wide even the most sexually depraved plant had little chance to gak its repressed gropeage on a passing body. I looked up as I walked, realizing the only animal likely to be spotted here, at this time of day, would be a bird. Perhaps I might see a hawk or turkey vulture. My survey resulted only in the very soft swaying of stacked green branches in front of striated and unremarkable clouds. After watching this gentle tableaux for about thirty seconds, I wanted to more than violently shake an in-his-prime Ansel Adams, ask him what in the unconscionably labyrinthine fauxhawk I’d just seen. Would he have looked twice at this sky — my glance still directed upwards, I heard its scabrous chirp before I saw it, and then I saw it and immediately hated its presence: a sparrow had landed on an oak branch forty feet above my head and wanted to stay there. I refused to let it observe me, turning to it I suddenly screamed in the timbre of an aggressive synth orchestra hit. Continuing my walk after compartmentalizing its non-reaction, I wondered how I might make these natural surroundings matter to me. They made no inherent argument that profoundly engorged the fun bags, perhaps because I was generally hooked into things by chaos, aggression and arguments, not by continuity or bucolia. I could identify the simpler trees at least. Of course pines and maples were easy, birch too. I could usually confirm oak and cherry through guesswork. Otherwise I wandered through a forest in a skein of unskilled silence, in some beta-level abyss that was never fact-checked. I didn’t know if having the names of mosses and wildflowers and mushrooms made it easier to appreciate the woods I forced myself into. That I recognized and questioned such absences in myself was part proof that I felt a large component missing in the ongoing construction of respect for humble surroundings, and part recall of an inherent tendency to not care much about my own construction. Against the spirit of the times, I spurned the concept of “personal development,” both in the thought directives I gave myself, and in the level of base inertia and hatred of fitness that exposed me as down-low sirenia. “Personal development” — I did not trust the idea. But moderate walking was acceptable to me and I continued to walk. All trees beside me were suddenly activated by a quite beefy breeze from inside the forest. Mood was present. And along the audio effects of the wind in heavy leaf-covered branches, I thought I heard a rustling in a different tempo one-hundred feet further along the path. A clench shuttered my body. Once, I was reckless. I entered badly lit hotel rooms brimming with silhouettes of animatronic movements. I took pills handed to me, only asking after I swallowed them what they were (bottom tier migraine medication). These days nearly any situation outside my apartment brought the inflamed trance of cautious thoughts. Where I seemed to hear the sound I saw nothing but the continuation of breeze, and felt fully the irregular welts of my prey mentality.

But I did not turn to exit. The introduction of humidity into early summer pumped a new game in me anyway, the godforsaken thirst for some swell of “possibility.” Against my addiction to titanium cowardice, flicked this vague and acidic proposition for adventure — that most rancid word of careerist travel influencers and successful stunt doubles. Heavy hot air seemed to ferment a perennial wildness of feeling that, in other weather conditions, remained neatly veiled in self-suck. I hated that I could still be easily infiltrated by this hormonal illusion of “anything can happen,” despite all my malevolent associations with the phrase. It was important to make a list of all the things that are possible. “Anything can happen” was a sloppy mantra full of menace and probably popularized at some point in the late 20th century to sell mini frozen bagels with pizza toppings. The list of all the things that are possible is the list of most crucial truth, it is a list that serves as sublime prep for someone who has been through the full consummation of “anything can happen,” when the thing that happened was a mind-shedding, unmentionable thing. I knew the culture at large was heavily against such a distrust of possibility, as the concept suggested monumental change and always for the better — the potential of fortune. I also knew it was against the cosmetic grafting of extra skin to make what I suddenly decided to refer to as ‘my boys’ look especially wrinkled and saggy. I stood still and surveyed the way partial sunlight glazed on and off the nearest bush of presumably poisonous berries. I briefly turned around and took in the forest entrance in the distance, and beyond it the suggestion of abridged midwestern meadow, now also washing in and out of sunlight with an unpunished laze, that I felt very unused to. Nowhere else in my life, to which I paid attention, obeyed that kind of rhythm. This statement was immediately wrong and a direct contradiction of my slow motion lifestyle. I allowed the statement to stand because its wistful gush was enjoyable, roughly spiritual, and juicy.

It brought thoughts of a nightmare I once had that eventually, through sustained lack of action, curdled into just a dream, a dream that had a trolled atmosphere of never-ending. A dream that felt three years long. A nightmare-incubated dream that appeared seven months after that moment of apex possibility and only the second dream after.

There was a group of us. We were in a house, we didn’t know we were in a slasher movie, we had thought it was a self-liberation biopic. We were pursued by a presence we did not expect. But every time there was a shot of the killer, the killer had been deleted in post. Only a tense and expectant camera followed us around, and we screamed at empty spaces at the top of the staircase and in corners of rooms. Dissonant music accompanied us, which, now knowing we were in a horror movie, we expected and rolled our eyes at. But we never saw the killer and nobody ever died.

I also remembered the first dream I had after the event, it was very short and involved me waking up at 7am to give a dog one cup of dry food. The density of hanging leaves in the forest began to inch a feeling of haunch and ceiling overhead, the light landing on the settled foliage only in splatters of rhapsodic dag. The inevitable feeling of being alone in the woods, despite the steady wash of faraway highway motors, is intimacy with something. You believe you are not being seen, when small and mundane animals see you, it means absolutely nothing. With a bear or mountain lion in the mix, at last you will truly feel “seen.” I was in a freely neglected and shrunken nature preserve on the edge of a midwestern city, I did not think it was possible to be seen by a bear and so I did not feel like I could be noticed. Thus I felt intimacy.

The content of that intimacy had zero intellectual value. It was only the comfort of being fully hidden, safe and alone. I was impressed by how much thick cover the trees supplied since the preserve itself was state park theater. The trees hid me from the sky, repressed my existence from something that could watch me. I basked. I thought of the substantial bulge of an older male in tight-fitting jean shorts. In this context of feeling unseen, it seemed the thru line of my consciousness in bringing up such an image was the keyphrase, “something hidden.” The intimacy began to retreat as a counter. Again, my head disenrolled me from a healing terrestrial feeling; it looked at nature with vast inexperience, it pursued a perspective of mountainscape print out. I tried to recover the hypnotic sap of that momentary solitude and continued walking. Of course the interruption of erotica in mind is one of the more iconic nature moves. And yet for some reason it seemed to unravel the hallmark atmospherics of a more investigative mystery. Such a divide was proven by watching my pivots of attention between two tickles. For instance, on one side, direct observation of a boner. The other side, fog covering an empty island highway at night. I thought I knew well the narrative arc of a priapism, and I thought I did not yet know much about the carnage in my seeping memories. It seemed obvious — of the things that controlled me, I prioritized with meaning the one I did not know much about. And instinctively, being alone under thick canopy felt like good setup for that kind of self-irrigation. I thought of the bulge again then saw another sparrow and after it reasonably bopped about for a skoach I suggested to it, “get away from me fuckface.” Again it did not move.

I walked several paces off the path and leaned against a definite oak trunk, wondering if my old person stage makeup was still intact, glancing towards the voyeuristic rays of sun slipping through the trees, well diffused and beginning their noticeable descent. I listened. After approx. twenty seconds of listening I heard the long-churning spew of a motorcycle gunning down the road about a quarter mile away, somehow powerful enough to overwhelm the peaks of forest ambience with its quite rascally discharge, hunh, the streaks of horrific classic rock revival spraying after it. I thought, “stop subverting me,” then felt the newly introduced stance of someone in my peripheral vision. They did not advance or retreat but did fidget. Probably, I could not be sure without glancing directly, pretending to look up something on their phone. They seemed about fifteen feet away from me, I considered if I would have to kill them in self-defense.

“How’s it going?” a man’s voice directed at me from the trail, giving me permission to look at him directly. A balding but well-maintained buzz of greying black hair, glasses, a thin white-yellow-green-black button down tartan print department store shirt tucked into leather belt and loose fitting blue jeans, the eye eventually and uncontrollably being led down to the neon pink, orange and yellow running shoes with white laces low-key dusted in a sampling of diaphanous schmutz. My “hi” was squeezed out with full defenses. The man did not say anything back but immediately enacted some plan of his, made obvious in his eyes that pressed on my face with an unmistakable singularity. He pursued unbroken eye contact to evaluate the potentiality of the interaction. I responded by looking away, remembering it was a powerful move in the game. I also refused to believe he thought me attractive enough for whatever in-development future passed through his turgescent nethers. As a mature adult, I was no longer available to rawk out with my cawk out but clearly the cast of desperation on the man made it possible for me to appear sexually acceptable, as evidenced by his not leaving. Nor did I imagine that he produced much foregrounded desire in an m4m community; lastly he probably stayed because he was closeted. I tried to maintain an appearance of clueless indifference, comparable in chillness to deciding to write ‘U R’ in a text message the same moment you observe a plastic bag fly in the wind towards a sleeping stray cat. Since the man did not leave or say anything, I also waited another 7-10 seconds in silence and downward glance. Yet this tactic, usually so effective in social settings, had failed, and so I looked at him again. And again the charged stare of non-verbal magic. The humid air was beginning to slightly cool as the wind filled the space between my collar and neck, suggesting it might rain soon. But behind the man’s head the sun, flanked by fleshy lard-swept clouds in various indigo exposures, was still visible. I hoped if the increase in gusts continued that they might produce a temporary bald spot on the crown of my head as I said, “why are you looking at me?”

He did not immediately respond, but severed all links with my eyes. I watched his glance minutely dart from one close location on my face to the next, “do you have makeup on?”

Each generation, freer than the last. The man did not know the answer for sure, but that he had noticed something was confirmed. Very exciting, I beamed internally. I controlled the beam. There was still so much work to be done.

Towards the man I projected breathtaking displeasure. I assumed the keyed up tone of someone wanting to be regularly shared on the internet: “I’m just trying to enjoy the forest on my day off sis so don’t—” and shut off inexplicably, though recognizing as the system recoiled that the implication of this man’s advances had lightly cracked some automated timecode in my lower lefthand corner of frame. My body — I had only felt it all of a sudden. Shoulders were arched forward to protect my underbelly, chest was swollen and stuffed with the debris of a delayed reaction of terror, single inconsistent tingle in left leg suggested the tiniest strobing marquee aimed at the brain, suggesting “run.” I had thought, this is not a dangerous situation at all. A little unusual but not something I haven’t experienced before. Something I could refuse and easily walk away from.

The body had behaved differently. Sunset mounted. The body had believed it was going to die. I hadn’t even noticed. Internal monologue always suggested much to investigate when looking for a solution, it presented long interconnected hallways and sliding doors, considerations of escape and tactical movement. It berated the body for not reading the situation correctly or at all, it hated the body’s spontaneous and inept mechanisms. It relished any reference to the phrase “bassackwards” but in this case the body was right. If I was to be killed by this person was still up in the air, I leaned towards no, but the body had not been reacting to my imminent death, only suggesting how relaxedly I pretended to advance through commercial district sidewalks, gas station candy aisles, cruisy chip bag-strewn forest preserves as if I’d never been reorganized by some sort of adaptation of death in which you survive. There was much work to be done, much work, to make the hair of my eyebrows more profuse and unkempt. My nose hair, which was way too thin and manageable, samesies. It was with the failure of a deep breath that the gauze of that summer sunset coaxed me back into the scene, despite the marquee now reading “Run II: Darkest Before Dawn.” The man had not known how to respond to my ejection from the clapback. I took stock, the forest appeared momentarily still and squirrelless. His energy seemed as if grappling with the possible realities of what I was. If crazy, at least in the way that interferes with verbal communication, I was no longer an option in his “mmm………damn”-ridden design. If crazy but able to continue clear conversation, or if so shy as to appear only intermittently awkward in conversation with strangers, I was still a highly available mark.

“Do you like it here?” he asked. It seemed that micro makeup and abandoned sentences were not considered dealbreakers for someone in his position. My body continued to want to leave and I stayed, he took a few steps forward, staring again with that binary intensity where the recipient must commit to its endgame or flash exit.

A strap broke in me: I suggested, “I hate it here.” The comment reached him. He looked as if to be re-processing me under a blank face but maintained his slow approach. I was answering his questions coherently and so I was incredibly sexy, perhaps. “I’m not doing well,” I followed up, using a long-acting smile-to-smirk succession in an attempt to muffle it.

This was ignored, “I’ve got a pretty big one,” silence, breeze, sunset, wow — squirrel, “what are you looking for out here, alone?”

Silence, squirrel, “you know where you are, right?”

Breeze, trees, sunset, reggaeton in the distance, instinct erupted — I stepped forward. “It’s not yet time for my annual anal,” my voice cracked. “In fact, it won’t happen this year, or ever again.”

A pause was produced, though it was clear he didn’t quite grasp my meaning. I stood still, now staring at him in order to properly knead the info. Finally a look of understanding on his face — “oh, I’m sorry” and he exited back up the trail, all spells dismantled.

I remained in the woods. I looked at the squirrel. I even yearned to see a sparrow, uninterested in knowing why. I allowed the intellectual regulations to rest, I listened to the joyous pump of prancing squirrel feet on twig-bedazzled forest floor. I looked at the sunset, while blocking the word “beautiful,” and liked it. I walked to the path, turning away from the exit with the rush of a recently liberated preteen spray-painting an anarchy symbol on the door of a rusty abandoned sedan next to discontinued freight train tracks that are overgrown with weeds and yellow wildflowers. I wanted to walk deeper into the woods, I wanted to be in the woods when it got dark. I wanted to be alone and without a mind. Knowing it was untrue, I nevertheless proposed to myself, “I think I could cum just from being alone for 3 weeks.” After a feisty fifty or sixty steps around the curving path, I met chain link fence separating the forest from a row of backyards and their respective single family homes. I thought of the cliche of an evil character in a kid’s movie laughing maniacally for some time then very suddenly stopping to present a severe and unamused face. It surfaced as a whimper.

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jeongjaehyuns · 6 years

Video

youtube

ok since kellie posted her fancam i thought i’d finally stop being lazy and do the same too :’)

i mentioned this a little bit before but earlier this month, i was lucky enough to get tickets to see nct 127 at the apple music event in la and was able to see them perform! this was by far one of the most amazing and intimate experiences i’ve ever been able to be apart of and being able to see nct 127 doing what they do best together is something i’m going to cherish in my heart for a very long time! here is the link to the full playlist of all their performances!!

underneath the cut will be a much more detailed and in depth account of everything that happened at the event if anyone is interested in reading more about it! ♡

ok hello if there are people who actually decided to keep reading thank u so much and buckle up bc u are in for a riiiiiiiiiide (ridin on that VAAaaaaAAAAan, KEEP dRIVINGGGggGGG) ok anyways! HERE WE GO!

[ ! ] btw the first part is just me talking about everything that happened before the concert so pls feel free to just skip to the last paragraph instead LOL

so when news came out that nct 127 was going to be coming back to the u.s. and perform on jimmy kimmel and that tickets were FREE, my friends and i hi kellie, hi tracey all tried to get some tickets for both the taping and the concert and was able to make it on the waitlist! i don’t live in california but both of my friends do so i told them that if any of us got confirmed tickets, i’d be flying over there for the weekend to attend the show! it’s kind of all a blur now bc the only thing i can remember within that week was stressing out so hard over tickets because the way the whole thing was set up was just SO STRESSFUL because despite being on the waitlist, there is no 100% guarantee that you’d get tickets and they start giving out tickets to people from within a week before the taping to the day of the actual event so really, it was just one massive waiting game. but a week went by and none of us saw any signs of getting tickets and flight ticket prices kept fluctuating for me so i just went ahead and booked my flight anyways without a confirmed ticket pls don’t ever do this omfg please please PLEASE don’t ever do this!!! and PRAYED that one of us would be able to get tickets ;; a few days went by and then nct kept releasing more news and how they’d be performing at mickey mouse’s 90th birthday celebration so tickets for that were also available too and once again, we made it on the waitlist!!! and played not one but now two (2) waiting games!!!! :-)))

honestly i rly don’t remember much that happened during this small time frame bc i was so stressed and anxious over these tickets that it rly took a toll on me physically and mentally LOL but yeah so on wednesday the 3rd, nct 127 posted on their instagram about how they’d be having a special performance partnered with apple music and i was about to start my math exam but the moment i read their post, i ran to the bathroom faster than i’ve ever ran before and of course, i requested tickets and made it on the waitlist again!!!! SO NOW IN TOTAL, IT WAS NOT ONE, BUT THREE (3) WAITING GAMES!!! GAMES THAT I WAS STARTING TO GET SICK OF PLAYING!!! anyways yeah so basically my friends and i made it onto all 3 waiting lists and at this point we really just wanted to be able to make it to at least one event ;;;

fast forward to friday, aka 1 day before mickey mouse and 3 days before kimmel and apple music and also the day my flight leaves for la!!! my friends and i all got a big fat no from mickey mouse saying they wouldn’t be able to accommodate our ticket requests bc they were full so we we re like ok!!! whatevs!!! we still have kimmel and apple to try for!!! so here i am… at the airport… getting ready to leave with no!!! confirmed!!! ticket!!! my flight was quite early in the morning so i was at the airport overnight and it was like around 11:30pm when i was doing homework and i got a notification on my phone… thinking it was just some random notification when in reality, I GOT MY CONFIRMED TICKET FOR THE APPLE MUSIC EVENT :’) it’s a blur to me bc it happened so fast and so suddenly but all i remember was that my jaw literally dropped for the longest time and my hands were shaking so badly bc i cOULDN’T BELIEVE IT??? i wasn’t able to sleep that entire night nor was i able to sleep on the plane from all the adrenaline so that saturday really was an interesting day for me LOL anywho i made it to la safe and sound and spent saturday and sunday hanging out with my friends while we prepared for monday :’)

ok so then despite getting tickets, we had no idea where the location of this event was going to be bc 1iota (the event organizer) wasn’t going to release the information until 10am monday morning and we were planning on waiting in line like early early to get a good spot so we had to be ready and out of the house by 9am!!! bUT WAIT!!! 9am was also when the english version of the mv was going to be released so me and kellie were both !!! bc we wanted to gif the mv so bad!!! so now at this point it’s like 7am and we’re all like half awake trying frantically to get ready and i’m over here trying to stream nct on the radio and listen to the world release of regular eng ver and then somewhere in between all of this, both kellie and tracey ended up getting their emails for confirmed tickets too??? so yeah at this point all three of us are running around like crazy ppl bc we weren’t expecting all of us to go but now all 3 of us get to go!!! so yeah i brought my laptop with me and tried to gif in the car but the connection from my hotspot was so slow so i just sat and cried instead :-) ALSO!!! remember how information about the location was supposed to be released at 10am? yeah well they changed it on us again!!! they delayed it to 2pm so at this point me and kellie rly wanted to d*e bc we did all of that rushing for nothing omfg but fast forward to 2pm, they released the information for the location and since we were already in the hollywood area we went there right away so when we lined up, we were like number 10 in line!!! :D

i wasn’t able to eat at all that entire day just bc i was so stressed and so nervous from everything that the hunger didn’t hit me til like 20 mins before the actual event omg ;;;; i remember saying “omg i’m so hungry” and the girl beside me was like “well sweetie, you’re about to be fed real good rn” and i just died laughing oh my god but yeah i had a priority ticket so i was let in around 7:30pm-ish and the event started at 8! i got barricade again just like last time at kcon ny, my view was reeeeeeally good!! ! i would say even better than kcon’s even tho i was front and center for kcon ;;; back when we were in line, the event organizers kept asking us how we were doing and each time i would tell them that i was super nervous and they’d ask why and i would explain that i just get super nervous before seeing nct omg it’s really true tho idk what it is but i just feel so QUEASY before seeing them… like the fact that you go from seeing them from your screen to seeing them in front of you is just a very STRANGE FEELING FOR ME OK but they kept repeating how we were all going to have a good time and that the space inside was super small so it’s going to be nice and intimate with them and they said how no matter what spot you get, you’re still going to be super close to them… one of the staff members was like “you’re going to be so close to them they’re going to sweat on you” AND GOD THIS JUST MADE ME EVEN MORE NERVOUS KASDJKSAJDKAJDKA

OK ANYWAYS ENOUGH OF THAT, ONTO THE ACTUAL CONCERT! when we got in, the event was actually on a rooftop and so the scenery behind the stage was just soooooo pretty and then they had a playlist of their songs playing in the bg and it was just really nice to listen and enjoy while we waited for them to come out :’) the members kept hiding behind this door and some of them started waving and they were all teasing us so hard bc the moment we saw someone there, we would all start screaming and they just wouldn’t stop :’) then they finally played the apple music documentary video for us and i just remember all of us screaming a lot LOL but then the lights went off again and then we all watched them walk onto the stage one by one and oh my GOD the wait for them to finally start just felt like forever and then next thing i know, the sirens went off and all i hear is “GET IT LIFTED” and then firetruck started omg i was trying to get jaehyun’s attention but then mr. nakamoto yuta… YUTA… looked over on our side and me and him made eye contact for a good solid 3 seconds and i just about lost my shit omg… HE IS SO INSANELY GORGEOUS IN REAL LIFE I WAS RLY GOIN THRU IT… JAEHYUN WHO??? AND THEN HAECHAN OMG… haechan came over to our side like 75% of the time and he is the cutest, most adorable person on this planet!!! he was always smiling and waving and i really can’t think of anything else to describe him other than the sun bc he quite literally was shining that night!!! i think it was halfway through firetruck that we started to realize that the stage was like… a little slippery??? but it wasn’t until limitless started where we really noticed the members starting to slip and stumble here and there ;; also there’s this one part where jaehyun went up super close to me during limitless and i about died… i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again but even after seeing him irl, HE IS SO HANDSOME IT’S UNREAL… HIS VISUALS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD but yeah the staff members would go on stage after each song to try their best to dry the stage but for some reason that wasn’t enough ;; i have no idea why the stage was so slippery but my guess was that it was pretty cool up on the rooftop and with the amount of people there, there was so much body heat in the air and then that mixed with the cool air = condensation??? i also think the shoes the members were wearing had like absolutely no friction at the bottom so it made them slip even more ;; they were also using a fog machine too but idk if that was actually the reason why the stage was so slipper omg but yeah after firetruck, they performed limitless and then they had a small ment here and mark talked about how it was a very special day for them (bc they just came straight from performing at jimmy kimmel too) and then johnny screamed something along the words of being apple music’s next up next artist and he was just so happy!!!! and then mark said that they’ve got october all to themselves and they were so happy to be able to be here with all of the fans! jaehyun also said that the place was so wonderful and said all the fans there were so wonderful and johnny came in to say that they had rehearsals the night before but being there with all the fans, it was a totally different feeling ;~; after that they performed touch and then when it came to cherry bomb (OT10 VER WITH JUNGWOO BTW), this was when things started to look a little :/// bc taeyong had already fell back during touch and at this point i was already beyond worried bc i would rather have them stop the whole thing all together rather than have them risk getting injured just to perform for us??? i shouted so many times to “be careful” in both korean and english T________T IT WAS LIKE THE DREAM CONCERT ALL OVER AGAIN WHEN THEY PERFORMED IN THE RAIN not to mention they had comeback promotions to do once they back to korea too so i rly just wanted them to stop ;;; i also think the members were all starting to get a little discouraged from all the slipping and stumbling during each performance and it kinda just looked like they were all really sad that they couldn’t put on a perfect performance ;; at this point the stage was soooooo slippery and i think they were more focused on not falling rather than performing and my heart rly just was in pieces ;;; taeyong fell again in cherry bomb during the leg split dance and it looked so painful oh my god i was just so WORRIED and i wanted it all to stop so bad ;~; but after cherry bomb ended, i think the members went back down to talk to the staff and then they came back up with different shoes! but finally!!! alas, they performed regular!!! since they switched shoes, the performance went pretty smoothly so i felt a little at ease! taeil, doyoung and mark were still wearing their original shoes so there were a few times when they slipped a little but thank god none of them actually fell ;; despite the song being a released earlier that morning, a lot of the fans did really well in learning the fanchants and singing along with the boys so i think it really helped in boosting the members’ confidence after the prior performances ;; there was a small ment here and doyoung talked and johnny translated it saying how basically the members felt really apologetic that they couldn’t put on good performances bc of the slippery stage and i was yelling with all the energy i had left in my that it was ok!!! that they were doing amazing and that they shouldn’t feel sorry!!! IT WAS KILLING ME INSIDE THAT THEY FELT THIS ASKDJKASDJAKJSDKD I WANTED TO ACTUALLY D*E but then they promised they’d come back to show an even better performance and doyoung held up his lil pinky!!! and then johnny asked how taeyong was doing and he answered back “i’m okay!!!” IN THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE… I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM ONE BIG FAT HUG T________________T and then taeyong said the last mission they had left was to take a picture with the fans and took out the selfie stick to take a picture with everyone! it was so cute TwT

but yeah, overall the whole experience was really really amazing minus the slippery stage and for the most part, i was really impressed with how organized 1iota was! i’m really grateful i got to be apart of it and it still feels like a dream that i got to attend the event and see them perform and promote their new album here in america!!! they were amazing performers and did so well despite everything! i was really really proud of them ;; anyways, thank you to everyone that made it this far!!! i hope you enjoyed this fan account! i know it’s a super long post but if i don’t write it all out now while it’s still somewhat fresh in my mind, i’m going to forget it by the end of the month so i hope you all understand! thank you so much! ♡

#personal #it’s kinda like really long so only read it if ur interested LOL

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princess-of-the-worlds · 6 years

Text

Same Old Love

to @thetourguidebarbie: Happy Birthday, Angie! Enjoy a (hopefully) funny romcom with police and the mob.

Also, this is like the second time I’ve ever written smut, so I hope it didn’t turn out too badly. I couldn’t fit in blowjobs (sorry???), but @itsnotacrimetoloveyou did coach me thru some of it. Lu literally saved this from being a literal disaster so go thank her.

warnings: guns/scene involving a shootdown, a main character getting (non-fatally) shot, smut???

“Chief Forbes,” Caroline’s assistant Matt says to Caroline, poking his head inside her office at the beginning of one of those late nights where she stays back filling out dreaded paperwork, “we’ve got another case. It’s a forgery ring this time.”

Without looking up from the warrant request form she’s filling out, she tells him, “Drop it on my desk.”

Matt drifts in quickly, placing the file neatly on one corner of her desk, and exits immediately, not wanting to remain in her office any more than necessary.

Everyone of her officers and staff knows how she gets on nights like this. They still tell horror stories on the time Valerie the Medical Examiner tried to place a file on Caroline’s desk when Caroline was newly-appointed as Chief of Police.

After she sets her pen down, she reaches for the case file that Matt had placed onto her desk. She pulls it closer to her before flipping it open.

Caroline groans, loudly, when her eyes land on the first page of the stapled packet in the file folder.

She pushes the file away before changing her mind abruptly and pulling it back, hoping against all hopes that the contents of the file will be different when she reopens it.

It’s not.

Shoving her chair back, Caroline teeters to her feet, stretching out her aching muscles, and makes her way to the mini-fridge in the back of her office, bare feet silent again the carpeted floor.

She returns to her desk, bottle of red wine in hand.

She won’t be making it through this file sober.

“C’mon, Care!” Bonnie insists, beer nearly sloshing out of the glass in her hand as she gestures. “Just give this guy a chance! He’s Enzo-approved.”

Judging by the increasing volume of Bonnie’s words, she knows her friend is nearly drunk.

“That’s what you said about Damon,” Caroline reminds her dryly. “Then, he tried to cop a feel of my ass, and I was arrested by my own officers for starting the bar fight that landed him in the hospital.”

“Hey,” Enzo, her other best friend and Bonnie’s husband, pitches in from the other side of the restaurant booth. “I hadn’t talked to him in over six years. He was back in town for a brief while and just wanted a date. How was I supposed to remember how much of an asshole he was.”

“Besides,” Caroline continues, overpowering Enzo’s multiple protests. “I’m already in a relationship.”

“Yeah,” Bonnie says. “Six months, and we still haven’t seen the guy. It’s like he doesn’t exist.”

“He’s an artist!” Caroline states, blushing heavily. “He’s gotta travel for his art shows.”

“C’mon, blondie,” Enzo says. “You move back in town after two years to be Chief of Police and that too with a new beau. It’s a bit odd.”

“It’s weird enough that mob crime picked back up the moment you moved back. Almost like you had something to do with that,” Bonnie notes.

Caroline freezes and nearly panics. “Does anyone want to order a burger? I’ll flag down a waiter.” Her voice rises another octave as she breaks into nervous laughter, but thankfully, Enzo and Bonnie are too tipsy to notice.

Later that night, the bed creaks and dips as Klaus slides in under the sheets besides Caroline.

Having sobered a while back, Caroline flips onto her side and turns to face him. “Bonnie and Enzo were asking about you,” she tells him quietly.

“Oh,” he says with just the slightest hit of curiosity in his tone. “Were they?” He nestles closer to her, the mattress springs squeaking under his movements.

She prods him on the shoulder with a finger. “No, seriously,” she continues. “They thought it was odd that they hadn’t met you yet. What am I supposed to tell them?”

“More art shows?” he suggests, and by the mischief in his voice, Caroline knows that he’s smirking at her in the dark of their bedroom.

She pouts. “It’s a shitty excuse that’ll only hold up for some more time. Please,” she reaches out a hand blindly, dragging it over the rough contours of his unshaven jawline, “they’re important to me. Just like you’re important to me.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he reassures her.

“Fine,” she says, but they both know that she’s stubborn enough that they’ll be revisiting this topic soon. “Now, where were you this morning? I made pancakes that I ended up eating alone.” There’s a bit of a childish whine to her voice.

“I was in my art studio,” he tells her, “painting like the artist your friends believe I am. Besides, love, I’ll make it up to you.”

“Right now,” she insists, and by the rustling of the blankets, she knows that he’s moving to comply.

He rolls on top of her, pinning her legs down with the heft of his body.

“You’re too heavy,” she complains, but he only chuckles, the sound reverberating nicely against her skin.

He continues to move down her body, head ducked under the blanket, brushing his nose against her bare skin at a punishing pace. She sighs continuously at the sensation but eventually grows quieter and quieter.

At one point, when Caroline stops responding, he pinches her, but she makes no sound.

“Caroline?” he whispers.

The only response is a drawn-out snore.

Klaus snorts in laughter, poking his head out from underneath the blanket to realize that Caroline’s fallen asleep on him.

It happens occasionally that one of them falls asleep when the other tries to initiate sex since they both have such busy jobs and work late so frequently. Klaus returns to his position on the pillow besides Caroline, tugs her closer to his body, and closes his eyes peacefully.

“Hey, Chief?” Jeremy asks, peeking into her office. “You wanna ride along? Someone reported a robbery possibly linked to the case you’ve been working on.”

“Sure,” Caroline replies, yawning. “I could use a break from staring at this file all day.”

She could use a nap, really, but she’s at work right now. This damn case has been draining her energy all week. The one time she and Klaus made it to bed on the same night, she fell asleep before he could even try to eat her out!

Caroline will be so glad when she can declare this case closed.

“Damnit!” Caroline hisses as she drops down to the ground, ducking behind the giant dumpster. With a thud, the bullet that had been aimed at her embeds itself in the brick wall behind her, just inches above her head. “Fuck,” she mutters as she ejects the empty magazine from her gun. “It was just supposed to be a fucking robbery.” She searches through her pockets, searching for an extra magazine. “Where the fuck are my bullets?”

She hasn’t been in the actual line of fire in months; she’s been stuck in an office ever since she moved back into town after she was made Chief. Though her hands are steady as they grip and guide the gun she always keeps tucked under her blouse, the unexpected and nearly-unfamiliar tension of the situation she has found herself in has her nerves singing with adrenaline.

“You got an extra magazine?” she calls to Jeremy who’s crouched on the other side of the dumpster. “I’m out.”

“I gotcha, Chief.”

Jeremy works Robbery Homicide and is used to firefights, which this venture was not meant to turn into. They had arrived on the scene of the robbery only to see a suspicious figure fleeing the scene. They’d chased them into the alleyway that they themselves are now trapped in.

Caroline and Jeremy are lucky that Jeremy kept a few bulletproof vests in the trunk of his police cruiser.

Jeremy carefully pokes his head out from behind the dumpster, mindful of any bullets flying their way, and slides Caroline a magazine. Just as he retreats behind the dumpster, a bullet hits the edge of the dumpster with a ping.

She reaches for the magazine and skillfully loads it into her gun, cocking it carefully. With measured movements, she springs up and fires a quick shot after their shooter.

Judging by their shout of pain and stumble backwards, she hit them somewhere vital, but they don’t relent their hailstorm of bullets.

Dropping back down, Caroline shouts to Jeremy, raising her voice to be heard above the chaos. “Where’s our backup?”

He gestures helplessly. “I called them,” he shouts back. “They should be here soon.”

At that moment comes the sound of multiple sets of tires loudly squealing to a stop against pavement, music to Caroline’s ears. Backup is here.

Then, she turns around and realizes that several cars pulled to an abrupt stop on the opposite side of the alley than theirs and are, in fact, backup. But for their shooters.

“Fuck,” she hisses. “This just got more complicated.”

“What do we do now, Chief?” Jeremy asks, eyes fixed on her for guidance.

The new arrivals will outnumber them by many bodies and will be able to proceed down the alleyway with ease, and Jeremy and Caroline will run out of bullets eventually. Their only options are shooting back or running, and both are lose-lose situations.

As if the answer to their figurative prayers, Caroline’s officers choose that moment to pull up behind the dumpster in their police cruisers, spilling out decked in their bulletproof vests and with guns.

“How many?” Bonnie asks, sneaking up next to Caroline.

“At least ten, Bennett,” she tells her lieutenant, taking a peek past the dumpster. “Backup arrived for the shooter a few minutes ago. They must be part of the mob that’s running the forgery ring. Apparently, a warehouse they ran a money press in was ransacked by a rival, and that’s how we got in this whole mess.”

Bonnie whistles in surprise and then wordlessly signals for their officers to spread out throughout the alleyway.

There’s commotion on the other end; the mob boss has arrived in another screech of tires, and he’s yelling orders apparently.

Bullets fly mercilessly towards the police squad, who returns with their own fire. It’s quick and chaotic.

Someone motions for Caroline to retreat and be taken back to the station for her safety, but she wrestles their rifle out of their hands and climbs up, perching on the edge of the dumpster and aiming the rifle towards their attackers.

She aims for nonvital areas, attempting only to incapacitate the shooters. She takes about two or three shooters about of the fight by shooting their kneecaps, forcing them to retreat for medical treatment.

Someone steps into the view of her rifle scope.

Mussed sandy curls. Dimples like deep pools. Narrow cheekbones. Stormy eyes. A shadow of scruff across a strong jaw. Raspberry lips pulled in a tight line. A body of sharp lines and subtle muscles wrapped in a navy suit that’s probably Tom Ford.

He’s lifting a gun straight at her, eyebrows furrowed in a familiar expression of concentration.

Then something’s hitting Caroline’s side like a punch with the force of a sledgehammer, the pain radiating across her ribs and left upper body, and it knocks her off-balance until she topples backwards, crashing a few feet to the ground.

She blacks out instantly before her body can properly register the pain.

Caroline comes back to consciousness and finds herself leaning against the brick wall, the blurry shape of Bonnie leaning over her and pressing an icepack to her ribs. The bulletproof vest is gone, and there’s a hollow achiness to her side that she instantly despises.

“What happened?” she asks Bonnie in a raspy voice. Her throat feels drier than the Sahara, but all of her body’s attention is focused on the cool contrast of the icepack against the bare skin and side. “Weren’t we in a firefight?”

The image of Bonnie begins to crystallize as Caroline’s vision focuses.

“Yeah,” Bonnie tells her. “You got shot in the side, but your bulletproof vest took most of the impact. I had a medic check you out under my supervision.”

And, indeed, if Caroline looks to the side, there’s a few straggling members of the police squad talking to the ambulance parked a few feet away.

Bonnie continues, “You should be fine. It might bruise nastily. They recommended that you take some pain relievers or something. The reason you passed out was because of the impact of the bullet knocked you to the ground, but there was no permanent damage.”

“Okay,” Caroline says and tries to stand.

She wobbles a bit and then crashes instantly back to the ground.

Bonnie reaches out a hand to steady her. “Woops. Yeah, none of that. Here, let’s get you home. I’ll have an officer drive you.”

Caroline gives in; she knows that there’s no point protesting to Bonnie.

“The dizziness should die down in a few minutes,” Bonnie explains.

“Bon,” Caroline croaks. “What happened to the criminals?”

“We caught and arrested most of them,” Bonnie tells her. “The mob boss got away, but we managed to identify him. Nicholas Michaels. A small-time business owner. We’ll put a few uniforms on finding him. Just go home for now, Care.”

By the time Caroline is dropped home, she’s popped an Advil or two and is in much better shape. The pain in her ribs is just a dull throb, and she can think clearly again.

She stumbles into the kitchen, dropping her keys into the small bowl on the counter, and continues into the bedroom.

Turning to the closet, she contemplates taking a shower but decides not to. She’s got a bunch of pent-up aggression and adrenaline and a human-sized problem to deal with.

When she turns back around, Klaus is standing there.

“Good,” Caroline tells him, sternly clipping off the ends of her words. “You’re saving me the trouble off finding you.”

“Evening, love,” he says in response, the edges of his lips turning up in a slight smile. “How was your day at work?”

He’s still wearing the damn suit.

She scowls. “You fucking shot me! That was my day at work!”

Klaus’s expression becomes simultaneously regretful and apologetic. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he replies, “I didn’t know that was you.”

“For fuck’s sake, Mikaelson,” Caroline rages. “You said you cut down the guns to focus on the forgery. So why did your guys still have guns? And why are you getting in mob wars?”

Now, he scowls. “That was all Kol. Fucker can’t let go of the guns, and he keeps going and provoking the de Martels.”

“Ugh.” She throws her hands up in frustration. “I’m the Chief of Police. You’re a mob boss. Why did I ever think this would be a good idea?”

Chuckling smoothly, he stalks closer, a predator on the hunt, herding her towards the wall. “You married me, love,” he reminds her.

Caroline rolls her eyes but continues walking backwards. “And I regret it every day.”

He moves closer. “Is your injury any severe?” he murmurs, ducking his head to trail his nose over her visible collarbone.

“Just the world’s ugliest bruise,” she grouses.

“So, you aren’t advised to engage in anything too athletic?” His gaze is intense and causes warmth to gather in her stomach and in her heart and wetness to pool in her panties.

“Nope.” She shakes her head.

“Good,” Klaus whispers, snaking his head so near that their lips brush against each other. Then, he swoops down and claims her mouth in a fiery, possessive kiss that causes her knees to tremble and ignites a surge of lust in her body.

They kiss like that for several minutes. She’s pinned against the wall, his body pressing down on hers, but it feels supportive rather than restrictive.

Her husband sneaks a hand under her blouse to trace gently over the bruise, but she hisses nonetheless at the contact.

Immediately, he steps back, glancing down at her in concern.

“I’m fine,” she tells him, waving him off.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Klaus shoots back, carefully unbuttoning her blouse and helping her slip it off. He then scoops her up into his arms as she makes a surprised squeak, dropping her gently on the bed and sliding her slacks and underwear off. In quick movements, he also manages to unhook her bra and drops it to the side of the bed, all before she can make another sound. “Now, don’t move more than you have to, sweetheart. I’ll do all the work.”

Klaus trails tender kisses down the slope of her neck. He spends time lavishing the swell of her breasts, his scuff dragging against her skin in a scratchy but appealing way.

She squeaks when he sucks briefly on her sensitive nipples and moans when Klaus draws his fingers down her sides, careful around the bruise. He stops to tickle behind Caroline’s knees and gently grasp her ankles and squeeze them lightly, eliciting a symphony of sounds from his wife.

It’s all over when he gets his mouth on her.

Klaus licks deep into her pussy, flicking his tongue over her clit and inner lips so quickly that she makes a dying whimper at the back of her throat.

But, too quickly, he’s pulling away. To Caroline’s relief, however, he’s only replacing his mouth with his fingers.

He pushes one into her, and she unclenches down on it, but his finger is unyielding inside her, causing her to groan in protest. “Move,” she demands.

As if to infuriate her even more, Klaus lightly draws his thumb over her pussy, teasing her folds slowly as she whines.

“Does that feel good, sweetheart?” he asks cockily.

“I didn’t marry you for your conversational skills, Mikaelson,” Caroline snaps. “It would feel better if-”

He chooses that moment to crook his finger just so, bumping into her sweet spot in a way that silences her train of thoughts and drawing a moan from her.

“I know what you need, right now, sweetheart,” he tells her huskily. “Let me take care of you, Caroline. You don’t always need to be in control.”

Shoving another finger inside her, Klaus doesn’t allow her any time to respond, scissoring her with savage intent. All she can see are bright white explosions every time his fingers bump inside her and her eyes flutter shut.

“You look so beautiful, sweetheart,” he says, eyes glinting with lust. “Practically overcome with pleasure. Wordless. But, of course, you’ll sing for me.” He thrusts his fingers up and further into her, and she cries out. “I love the sounds you make, Caroline.”

“Klaus,” she gasps out. “I’m so close.”

He pulls his fingers out, and she cries out again. She feels so empty, but he’s merciful.

With unrelenting focus and care, he eats her out until she is nearly boneless with pleasure, her body too lax for her to root a hand in Klaus’s curls. All Caroline can do is hang out for the ride, whimpering and moaning in response to her husband’s wicked tongue.

When she climaxes, her body arches up slightly. Her knees tremble terribly. She screams out Klaus’s name before slumping back down against the bedsheets.

Klaus climbs back onto the bed, mouth gleaming with traces of her orgasm. He swipes at his mouth with the bedsheet, cleaning it off, before smirking at her. He leans down to peck her swiftly on the mouth. “Feeling better?” he asks.

She nods weakly. “Definitely. But, I would feel better if I had your cock in me.”

Her husband’s eyebrows raise slightly. “Of course,” he replies. “Who am I to deny my wife?”

Caroline shrugs.

Climbing off the bed, Klaus shucks off his shirt and pants, balling them up and tossing them into an unseen corner of the room.

For once, Klaus doesn’t tease her. They are both subdued. He only lifts her legs to separate them slightly and crawls between them, nudging himself forward until the tip of his cock brushes between her thighs. He positions himself at her entrance and then slowly pushes himself inside.

Caroline whimpers a little, feeling her inner walls stretch slowly to accommodate his solid length inside her.

Not wasting time, Klaus rocks forward gently, and that sets the mood.

It’s less of the quick but gentle fuck that Caroline was hoping for and more of a lovemaking session that she doesn’t mind.

Klaus feels so good inside her, and he keeps bumping against a bundle of sensitive nerves that causes a sudden eruption of pleasure in her body. His cock hits so deep inside her body that her eyes flicker shut as her body arches upwards and she moans loudly.

When she comes for the second time, it’s quieter, her head only tossing to the side on her pillow and her eyes squeezing tighter as her walls flutter around Klaus.

A few moments later, Klaus comes himself, murmuring her name under his breath. He slumps forward, remaining in her but tucking his head between her neck and shoulder.

In a few minutes, she’ll get up to clean them off and change clothes for bed. They’ll have to figure out the mess of their real life and the events of today. But, for now, she’ll rest in this peaceful moment, blocking out the rest of the world and pretending that it’s only Klaus and her in their bedroom.

And, right now, that’s all that matters.

#klaroline #klaus mikaelson #caroline forbes #klaroline drabble #thetourguidebarbie #happy birthday angie

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

im gonna just keep punching thru my WIPs so here’s some ~ign gun stuff~. i know everyone wants to talk about the new trailer and calypso stuff, i mean i do at least, but `checks list` i still have a lot of old stuff to get thru 😵

god i’ve been working on this for *three days* (yes! im not dead!)

tl;dr: i mostly just wanted to talk about how the CoV is using slag to power their guns to give them infinite magazines and ended up getting more proof for my ‘the calypsos are using eridium/slag to quickly mutate their followers and give them special powers’ theory. Also some interesting stuff about troy’s sword and his tattoos and his lil necklace things at the very bottom, if you’re interested. mostly ties it all into the new Eridian glowing stuff we’ve been seeing. they’ve moved on from purple -> red. which brings up some interesting questions...

So first I’m going over the individual IGN weapon videos, which you can find on their site here and on youtube here through HayderHype (doing god’s work). i recommend checking out this version because the ign player is not spectacular.

now to be honest im here to talk about three things from this particular vid: the areas we see in the gameplay, the new funky alien parts, and the CoV guns. the manufacturer perks are cool and all, but we already know most of that stuff. so I won’t be showcasing every gun from the video, but instead the more interesting/important bits I’ve noticed as I watched it

cool? cool!

the first area we get is definitely space rocks, im imagining this is similar to the area we see Zane in on that one promo sheet,

(this one)

and, more importantly, the area where we will find that bigass space laser gun thing. i do believe that giant-ass gun is somewhere within Promethea’s asteroid belt.

(this one)

i am curious why the planet below doesn’t appear to have any asteroids surrounding it. maybe the giant space laser destroyed them. which i do discuss in this post here, if you’re interested in a very long read.

it could be that we’re simply on the side of the asteroids. which then makes me wonder, why are they all clustered there? it’s probably because the fuckin moon was destroyed. maybe by the giant space laser. which is also discussed in the post above 👀

it could also be elpis! the rocks are definitely gray enough lol and we don't exactly have a very good frame of reference for ‘asteroid’ vs ‘moon’. the giant space gun is out of shot, afterall.

ah. alien guns.

i don’t think these are related to the bl1 eridian guns- not the kind we’ve seen that look similar to the Guardians in-game

that is:

this is all the same sort material as the Guardians, with their bug bits and armor and shit and these new alien barrels are all organic and squishy. (oh also take note of that purple thing on the eridian lightning, im going to bring it back later)

these new ones are definitely fuckin creepy looking, but not very bug-like at all. if they are related to eridians, it’s not through the Guardians. (as for the ACTUAL Vault Guardians/Monsters, yeah, it’s possible. i’ll get to that in a secco)

for the tentacle stuff, i know the Destroyer (not a Vault Guardian- it was imprisoned) is all ‘tentacles and disappointment’, but tbh i don’t see the asphalt lookin chunks being part of the Destroyer. and i especially don’t see manufacturers themselves harvesting the Destroyer for gun parts (Hyperion aside lol)

i could see them tying it in with the Rampagers (both fleshy with the black armor bits) but also... they’re not very tentacle-y. and how would manufacturers be getting the rampager stuff anyway? i suppose if that really is a teleportation network, then they would be on all the planets we visit. making them more available for farming. but still.

and yeah, the rocks probably have some sort of relation to Eridians, i mean we’ve seen rocks like these at Eridian dig sites and we know of a Vault Monster made out of similar-looking rocks

plus

this shloot gun, which i will get to later, appears to be made out of the same rock.

so wtf are these tentacle things? made by eridians specifically for weaponry? a different version of the eridian guns we find on Pandora? did the manufacturers find a whole stash of these things and start making their own? instructions on how to build them? we know eridian writing is stashed across the universe, afterall.

maybe they are meant to be something different...

i honestly don’t know, and im getting off topic here, so let’s move on.

not a crashed ship. i haven’t seen ALL the eden-6 gameplay, but i’ve seen a few and they had only gone through the ship AI quest with ice-t and the very uncomfortably long jabber section. seriously, tf was that?

also i still don’t trust wainwright. that fucker is totally gonna betray us for the key once we get him the pieces. also did you know one piece of the promethean key is on Athenas? wildin’. wait this game is just One Piece in space... fairy vearth i am coming for you... oh god, do i have a type? i think i have a type when it comes to media. ... hm.

oh, but the facility. i wouldn’t be surprised if it were Atlas. the red stripes also got me like ‘old Hyperion’, but again tf would Hyperion be doing on Eden-6? plus that one shot with Hammerlock in the new Eden-6 video makes me think it is, in fact, Atlas.

(side note, i love when i search my blog for a post with the word ‘eden-6′ in it and i get literally everything EXCEPT the post where the hyperlink is literally eden-6. tumblr! you suck! your search function is terrible! https://cruddyborderlandstheories.tumblr.com/post/186858618497/eden-6. but yeah this is where that hammerlock shot is, if you’re interested)

specifically this little thing here

reminds me of this labeling system that we see on Promethea, which marks different parts of the city (red and blue are the 2 i’ve seen so far)

which then begs the question: what was ATLAS doing on eden-6? back when i thought this planet was promethea, that was fine. but... it’s not. so wtf are they doing here?

personally, i think they were researching whatever Typhon Deleon found here (or thought he would find here). We see he has historical markers across the planet, so i would not be surprised if he found something.

to add to that, we know there’s eridian things on planet, because a. we see a eridian log in the moze gameplay.

and b, which is new info from the recent community Q&A: those purple crystals we see contain eridian writing, and we use a “special tool” to dig them out

so glad we finally know wtf these are for lol

“There’s Eridian Writing, and you need a certain tool to get the Eridian writing and once you do, you find this across there (the planets i assume) and this Eridian Writing opens up certain things for players”. which has certainly gotten me INTERESTED AS FUCK

i know i mentioned in my post about these crystals that maybe these were parts of eridian artifacts and stuff that tannis would help us with and turn into gear. but honestly given how vague he is by saying ‘opens up certain... things’... i almost want to say skill upgrades.

i’ve mentioned before (and actually it’s come back recently in an ask) that I really, really, REALLY want our VHs to get bonus skill trees due to Siren powers being unlocked (cause like if we do graduate to Vault Guardian then who is to say... we won’t?) and, like, sure, if they can’t break the ‘6 Sirens in the universe at a time’ rule, then mayhaps we will get some sweet Eridian upgrades through these writings to our already available skills. maybe new standalone action skills, since they’ve made it very clear you can equip any action skill you want. lorewise, it could be like how Fl4k’s skag becomes an Eridian Skag (cough LostLegionEternal cough)

or, maybe, they actually are schematics and Tannis will help us build them and we’ll get cool gear out of it. maybe vehicle upgrades or something. maybe even something pertaining to Guardian Rank (which I still think is us graduating from Vault Hunter to Vault Guardian and if thats the case then i really hope siren = vault guardian becau- okay i’ll stop sorry.). I don’t think it will be something that we MUST do for the plot, so it can’t be THAT important to the lore. Like i said in the old post, we probably will break one or two for the main story after getting the stabby brass knuckles, then we will be let loose to collect the others on our own free time.

but yeah, the wording of “opens up” is doing me a big thonk because... well, he’s making it sound like an entirely new aspect of the game we have yet to hear about. of course he could just be using a very literal sense of the word in that we are literally opening up the crystals by smashing them open and freeing whatever is locked inside. especially because he says that specifically the Eridian writing, which we acquire with the tool, is what opens up those certain things.

also guessing we get this glowly stabby tool from Athenas now, instead of from Atlas. I’ll explain in the Athenas post!! I promise. we have LOTS of stuff to discuss there, i’m very excited to work on it.

jesus i got off topic.

but yeah. i imagine Atlas would be researching whatever Eridian stuff Typhon Deleon found here. there’s clearly writing all over the place, with lots of eridian logs

it could also be that this is like Supamax MFG or some other production facility that was shut down and abandoned. doesn’t always have to tie back into the deep lore, as much as i want it to lol

but moving on. because good lord im not even like 2 minutes in on the first video and i have 2 more to go after this.

this area feels like the inside of the asteroid base.

there’s nothing but rocks floating outside! so i guess the theory about this being on the side of the asteroids was correct! huzzah!

poor promethea. they didn’t deserve it. also may just be some way to link up the promethea teleport system (because yeah im still standing by that theory) to the rest of the planets. or this is some way to activate a temple, or a Vault, or something Rhys wants exploded like Maliwan HQ... so many possibilities. Maybe it’s just that Maliwan was sky-bombing Atlas-held areas and he sends us up here to stop it.

so many possibilities. so little time.

moving on

looks like the place amara visits in her character trailer. given we’ve also seen the area Fl4k visits, im excited to see if we’ll also be visiting the areas from Moze and Zane’s trailers.

eyy more looks at that facility. definitely feeling like this is Atlas.

also, this appears to be similar to the window brick, mordecai, and tina stand in front of in that one shot. i know i already mention this in that VERY old post where i organized all the areas of the dev and reveal trailers, but still. good to see it’s standing up

also, if you’re wondering why i have yet to mention or show any of the athenas clips, it’s because im saving those for my next post. athenas all day babey (i am trying to use self-restraint, it’s very hard for me to not just blather on about stuff i want to talk about lol)

this appears to be the tink stripper area lol

thanks gearbox i hate it

why

big varkid!! with what looks like the HBC in the background. possibly some named badass enemy we kill for hammerlock? i can’t imagine this is big enough to be vermi.

the area with the ferris wheel!! i hope we can ride it. also that rollercoaster in the claptrap presents pandora video? omg i want to ride it sooooo badly

ah this is the jakobs family thing. part of the ship from the eden-6 demo

iirc this was where Moze is using Iron Bear during the We Are Mayhem trailer. I wonder if that’s Rhys’s office in the back or smth. very fancy

okay. finally.

the Children of the Vault Weapons. I’m actually going to showcase a few of these, because I think it’s important.

remember, the CoV weapons have infinite magazines (not infinite ammo)

so if you’ve noticed the similarities between these weapons: they all seem to be powered by eridium/slag. some have the purple piping (and with the fire/corrosive/shock elements, i have to wonder if this is similar to how slag mutated enemies will get elemental affinities) and shards of eridium sticking out of the detailing.

given the piping will change colors depending on the element used, i definitely don’t think the glowing purple is just for aesthetic purposes and i 100% believe this plays into their infinite magazine size. i think this is somewhat similar to the Eridian weapons, in which they have infinite magazines and rechargeable ammo

(using the eridian thunder storm as reference here)

the CoV weapons don’t have rechargeable ammo, but they definitely have infinite magazines, which i imagine is a step in the right direction to recreating these eridian weapons with slag/eridium

so is this the reason that slag pool we see is ‘Holy Holy Holy’?

^ this is a glimpse at the structure below in-game spewing out eridium/slag, so we know what the full version looks like

and below is a version without slag/eridium:

i mean, it’s not like there hasn’t already been a precedent for worshipping guns and what provides them. just take a look at the bloodshot ramparts, the bloodshots worshipping Marcus as a god for providing guns to them.

i mean, even the eyeball symbolism is pretty familiar here.

and yes, this could 100% replace my other theory that the twins are mutating their cultists with eridium/slag. but tbh, i think it proves it even further.

remember this?

that piping looks really familiar, doesn’t it?

and we know goliaths in bl2 were mutated by slag/eridium/ruin exposure- it’s explained that a lot of the bandits teetering on the verge on non-human were mutated because of eridian ruins/tech (the key in sledge’s mine). so why would it be hard to believe that the twins are accelerating or activating this process using their own store of eridium/slag?

i won’t go full theory on this, because you’ve already heard me rave about it, but i think this is very nice evidence, so long as our previous assumption about the slag/eridium powering the CoV guns is true. which i believe it is

(From the Eden-6 teaser trailer)

(from the We Are Mayhem trailer)

very similar

so what the hell is in those vials?

looking at them, it’s clear the first matches up with the slag gun and the second with the fire gun. all well and good. maybe they’re bottling up that elemental goodness as sort of an ‘oh shit’ button, or just as a way to stand out in the cult, show off your allegiance to them by mimicking Troy’s vials (which i suppose i’ll have to touch on in another post, because iit will derail everything)

so i imagine this is provided by the cult- maybe because they are powering up their cultists using slag, in a very similar way to how they’re powering up their guns. forcibly mutating them and all that- speeding up the process that normally happens somewhat slowly on Pandora. afterall, isn’t that what the cultists are being promised? ‘special powers’.

but there is more

we know Tyreen’s power is to absorb the powers of people. Phaseleech or something. and when she does it to lilith in the new cutscene, lilith simply has her Siren powers taken away and is left in a near-death state.

which is all well and good, but when Tyreen does it to her cultists... hell, even the Sun Smashers, something different happens:

we’re even allowed to watch the process take place

even before he’s fully dead, this psycho is turning to stone, which doesn’t happen to lilith. there’s a few reasons this could happen

1. Tyreen didn’t have intent to kill. she wanted to leave Lilith for the dogs- the Eridium-tier cultists

2. Lilith’s Siren powers are sort of like a shield- instead of immediately turning to stone under the effects of Tyreen’s powers, she instead loses her abilities

3. the bandits are different from Lilith, and that is because of her abilities as a Siren.

im going to go for the 3rd option.

we know bandits on Pandora are mutated by the slag/eridium/eridian ruins surrounding them. Krieg, an off-worlder, is taken into a hyperion testing facility and tested on with slag, which turns him into the badass psycho we know today. that gives him the exposure to slag/eridium/eridian ruins/tech. you get the deal. (im just going to call it eridium in reference to all eridian ruins/tech/slag/eridium.) and like Krieg, we see badass psychos roaming the wastes, even before Hyperion slag testing began to take place. this is because of their exposure to eridian ruins/technology across pandora- eridium hadn’t appeared until after the first Vault opened.

so i dont think it hard to believe that these bandits are still being affected by exposure, to the point that eridium had begun to build up in their bodies, leading to these physical mutations and new elemental powers. this happens to the wildlife of Pandora, too. Badass elemental skags, fire spiderants, even bloodwing shows (a speedrun version of) this in the WEP. some muted bandits include badass psychos, goliaths, burning psychos, slagged psychos. etc, etc.

i think Lilith, being a Siren, is protected from the effects of ‘background radiation’ of eridium. she’s able to process eridium without any byproduct, and we can assume she’s converting it fully into energy/power (as Sirens are able to charge Vault Keys with it). we could argue that her Siren skill gain in borderlands 1 is explained by her being near eridian ruins for a majority of the game (slow buildup of background ‘radiation’), then in bl2 her skills skyrocket to an entirely new level (teleportation) because of her direct contact with pure eridium. and since she’s able to convert eridium into power, she doesn’t turn to stone when Tyreen absorbs her lifeforce- she has no buildup in her body.

unlike her, the bandits who spent a long enough time (7 years is long enough for the Sun Smashers, I would imagine. also probably long enough for Vaughn to start losing it- just a little bit) on Pandora to continuously absorb this eridium have a significant build-up in their bodies, so when Tyreen absorbs their life forces, the eridium already inside them is drawn out, or reacts with her powers, and turns them to stone/eridium crystals.

anyway.

moving on to more gun stuff

Borderlands 3: Every Gun Maker and Their Perks

like the last vid, im just going to be going over some interesting areas and guns if i see any.

>hold down the trigger to charge the gun and release a powerful pulse shot

did they fix Maliwan guns??? iirc from the demo you had to charge them to shoot at all! that’s wonderful!

also

looks like Zane might have an ECHO log somewhere in the Meridian Metroplex, if the VHs don’t have ECHOs in their inventory as starting gear (im curious if the ones on Sanc-III are supposed to replace that, or if they’ve only been put there for the demo...)

the reason im assuming this is an ECHO is because ur character’s icon will only appear if ur coop player is speaking and they’re far away from you (no coop partner in this clip), or if you’ve activated an ECHO log. there may be a as-of-yet unrevealed option, like maybe the twins playing back a recording, but we’ll see.

so, ahhh if ur in this general location, be on the lookout for anything glowing like a quest item

also also im surprised there are players who are using Zane and not playing with 2 action skills. that’s like... sort of his biggest thing.

ah well, that’s literally the only interesting thing outta this video, so moving on

5 of the Craziest and Awesome Guns in BL3

yeah this is the one gun i wanna talk about- i said i was going to be bringing it back later on and i wasn’t joking

so it should be pretty obvious by now this thing is Eridian. if the symbol on the top didn’t convince you, and the rocks didn’t either, then the diamond should, bc apparently that’s just, like, an Eridian thing now. apparently. no im not salty this shape just started appearing only in the 3rd game. that’s ridiculous.

... okay, only a little, i guess.

personally, i think this gun exists to explain why the Vaults and Vault Monsters drop loot that is... from our world/time period. Feed it Eridium, get guns out. how does it actually make gun? iunno. looks like it’s powered by fire, though. or whatever is in Troy’s sword/the cool knife knuckles

this stuff

orrrr

this stuff.

which... makes me think Troy doesn’t use his sword in the intro fight because he doesn’t have it yet. he might be waiting to get it back (upgrade?) or until he’s strong enough to hold it- or he just hasn’t found it yet.

i mean, the boy can’t even pick himself up off the ground and suddenly I’m supposed to believe he can wield a sword that’s probably heavier than he is? he’s probably waiting to be full strength to use the damn thing.

and if he doesn’t have it yet, i would imagine they find it on Athenas or in one of the other temples while using the teleportation network (i will die for this theory until im proven wrong) and yoink that shit. i mean, who wouldn’t?

which also is making me wonder if the stuff around his neck is the new (old? before/after eridium?) Eridian energy/power. which i guess means we’re looping all the way back around to theory #1: wtf are those things around troy’s neck lol

it would be interesting if he’s gotta hold onto this for his powers or something. double interesting if Tyreen is making him use it because he’s useful, even though it’s killing him- if he’s useful somehow (like thru distributing the powers Tyreen holds, like i’ve been saying with my input/output twins theory for quite some time now) then Tyreen NEEDS him to do this for the cult.

i mean, his tattoos do glow the same color as the Eridian tech when they’re transferring what i assume is energy between the two of them

so it's not too hard to believe that his tattoos are somehow tied to this eridian tech mess.

i almost wonder if this is like... a new version of Siren we haven’t seen yet. one not linked to Eridium like the other Sirens are. maybe created before/after the eridians had access to eridium (before they discovered it/locked it away in the Vault of the Destroyer), or an artificial one produced by the red-based eridian tech- and that’s why his tattoos are the same color as all the new eridian stuff we’ve been seeing.

but, eh. it’s whatever. this is a gun post, not a Calypso post. i’ll go in depth in a later post :^) (i am trying to stay on topic now. we’ll see how long this lasts lol)

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #GUN

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kimber-elise-monroe · 6 years

Photo

“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. no purpose or place. We have no great war. No great depression. Our great war's a spiritual war... our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.” --Tyler Durden, Fight Club

There is something pure, uncorrupted by fights such as the one taking place before Kimber Monroe eyes tonight and despite the illegality of it all. It undoubtedly arouses her own primal urges and dark impulses. Brawls like these, in general, have the power to elicit man’s most basic predilections and feed savage cravings. The desire to dominate. The desire to destroy. The desire to spill blood. The desire to maim. The desire to kill. It’s as innate as hunger and sex, and certainly, an unyielding element etched into man’s DNA. Centuries of cultivating humanity couldn’t deny a man his nature. Wars waged for sovereignty, in the name of God and religion or greed and power, and even the pathetically executed peace, only gave man faulty justification to ease the conscious and weary souls that indeed it’s not about feeding that ferocious appetite for destruction.

This is a truth that cannot be denied and Kimber knows it just as well as any of her counterparts in the dilapidated warehouse if not better. It’s not something she learned out of a book or TV and any violence depicted, but rather a truth she has come to learn firsthand thru experience and even her profession. One can’t live with a modicum of veracity after blood is spilled to these creatures comforts humanity provides and the falsehoods perpetuated. In all reality, if Kimber were to speak her mind, to push the horrors of what is entirely certain in her thoughts and heart of hearts to any of the men cheering and jeering alongside her, she is sure they would haphazardly scoff at her or brush her off with nervous laughter. No matter just how violent or lewd they might be, when it is all said and done, she is still considered just a beautiful woman, a trophy to most and treasure to some, and no less in a world dominated by men and most men find themselves unnerved by strong and opinionated women--no matter how beautiful and intelligent.

Whether legal or illegal fighting, these battles sanction a person's need to witness brutality at it’s finest as well. The raven-haired woman, appearing so fresh and deceivingly unchaste, is no exception to this fact. Kimber bounces on the heels of her dark red cowgirl boots as she watches the fight taking place. Two men are having a showdown as the crowd cheers on--hungry for blood and ultraviolence. A blonde man, one known as the Swede, bouncing on the balls of his feet near the edge of the inner sanctum of the chain link ring, prepares to block yet another blow to the face. The first one caught him off guard and he would be damned if he would let that happen again. That’s when this urban dual of brawn truly begins. All whilst to chorus of a roaring crowd surrounding the fence. The warehouse, potent in its aroma and muggy due to the horde, smells of blood, sweat, tears, liquor, and that good ole’ fashioned greenback called money. In many ways, Kimber finds it intoxicating.

The warehouse itself has hosted many illegal fights and fight clubs for local criminal syndicates over the past few months, but more sinister activities often transpired in the back rooms--rooms in which only a few are permitted to enter. People are throwing their arms up in the air all around, screaming obscenities and cheering on their favorite fighter in this round whilst demanding VICTORY. The Swede, a pale and blonde, grey-eyed man, large in stature but not so much in mass, doesn’t have much a following due to being new to the scene. However, the regulars seem to like that he could hold his own, especially against his opponent--a man known as Mickey the Hook. Mickey the Hook, appropriately named for his powerful right hook, has a face that looks like it has been put through a meat grinder with his teeth lose in his mouth and stained with blood from a prior fight.

Mickey the Hook is lean and muscular, and the sweat glistens off of his bruised and bare torso like baby oil. Dark eyes are matched by his long black, greasy locks that are slicked back on his head only to curl at the nape of his neck. He is the man the crowd loves to hate. He is the seasoned fighter most have placed their bets on. Mickey eyes The Swede, trying to anticipate his next move while spitting out venomous taunts. In no way did he have any qualms about bludgeoning another and if anything, it’s a point of pride for him. He comes at The Swede with his right fist in his signature right hook, but The Swede bends backward just as rough, busted knuckles gaze his crooked nose. Over-correcting, he stumbles forward slightly before swiftly taking a defensive stance. It’s these first few blows that he is able to get into a more accurate defense mode and let his muscles fall into a rhythm for battle. He does not hesitate and thrusts his fist forward going in for a quick jab at Mickey the Hook. Mickey derails the hit with his fist, pummeling into the other’s forearm.

The hit itself is so hard that he loses his balance for a brief minute. A minute is just enough to catch him off guard.and the other man automatically lowers his fist down on the back of The Swede’s head before he spinning around to deliver him an uppercut to the jaw. His head pops back and his jaw snaps, and a sly grin forms along Mickey the Hooks crooked, thin lips. “Aye. This ‘aught to be fun,” Mickey says in a thick Irish accent. The tip of his tongue glides across his cracked pout and he tastes the blood at the corner of his mouth. His dark eyes gleam with wicked delight. He then backhands The Swede literally like a little bitch. Not holding back any of his strength, the other man falls back skidding across the dirty, blood and oil-stained concrete floor. Immediately, he rolls back onto his shoulders and lunges up to his feet. “So we are actually gonna do this?” The Swede asks as he pops his neck. “Aye… I could use a good fight,” says Mickey.

In one calculated move The Swede balls a fist and delivers swift yet hard jab to Mickey’s nose. Mickey ’s head is the one to now pop back. In turn, he responds with a direct blow to the face via his right fist. Kimber, even over the cheers and jeers of the crowd, swears she hears the crack of his nose. Thick, maroon blood starts to gush over his mouth and chin to his bare torso. The blood in his mouth, he angrily spits to the floor. Grey orbs of The Swede’s opponent flash with disdain and an injured ego. “Mother fvcker,” he says as he brings the back of his hand up to wipe his lips. The look on Mickey’s face is that of pure satisfaction now--he revels in these brawls and the pain as well as the brutality. Dropping his hands he starts to laugh loudly. If anything, just to taunt The Swede. His hearty belly laugh only inspires uninhibited rage. Without hesitating, The Swede spins on his heels and gives a cocky, Mickey the Hook, a roundhouse kick to the side of the temple. As his foot drops and his heel slices, the side of his opponents face and lip--a stunned look takes Mikey hostage.

Fat trails of crimson liquid fly through the air and some of the blood spatter shoots through the chain link fence and onto the lower level of the crowd. A few droplets land on Kimber’s boots. A deep and guttural moan escapes his throat as he regains his balance and the crowd cheers! Mickey the Hook charges but does so in a clumsy manner. The blow to the temple obviously dazed him at the moment. The Swede takes advantage and grabs Mickey by his greasy black hair only to bring his face down to meet his knee--HARD and FAST. Kimber watches with features entirely expressionless despite the thrill she is inwardly experiencing. Brutality is something she is very much used to and truth be told, she placed a small bet of her own, but NOT on this fight. No. Her bet is on the next one and her champion, a man she has crossed paths with on occasion and that has undoubtedly inspired intrigue. Shaking her thoughts of the next fight, she continues to follow the one taking place and jumps in anticipation as The Swede pummels Mickey the Hook--ample breasts bouncing beneath her tight Misfits band-tee and perfectly round apple-bottom, sculpted to perfection in her fraying and worn daisy dukes.

Since she is going to have to stick around just to see the next fight, she might as well have a little fun. “What the hell, right?” Precious baby blues fixated, she watches as The Swede continues to have the upper hand and lays waste to the legendary and infamous Mickey the Hook. It had happened so fast. The Swede now gripping Mickey’s hair in a balled fist, he repeatedly slams his knee into his bloodied, swollen face. The fight is lost and Mickey’s body goes limp as a stream of blood explodes from his nose and The Swede releases his grip. Time seemingly slows down as Mickey the Hook falls to the floor. The crowd, shocked into disbelief, goes silent and the sound of Mickey’s rippling mass hitting the concrete reverberates throughout the warehouse. Within seconds, the crowd is in an UPROAR. As the crowd rushes the chain link fence, pushing and shoving in a gruff manner, Kimber looks across the warehouse to the metal doors that the fighters often make their entrance, already anxious and eager to witness the next underground showdown in which her bet has been placed. BRING ON THE BLOODSHED.

#kimberelisemonroe #kem #builtforsin #bfs #fightnight #fightclub

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bangtanhmu · 8 years

Text

backstory

hi hi my friends ! i have finally compiled all of my backstory files & have decided to put them together for u in one giant post since some of u were interested ! i linked the texts where certain info is referenced for some things that u might have missed !!!! n also u don’t have 2 read this @ all like y/n is still YOU these are just like the mini fics i wrote 2 help me write the texts so they’re all unique 2 each individual boy n everyone has their own stories n personalities !

pls put ur reading glasses on 2 protect ur lil eyes bc we are abt to go on a luv~ journey

Y O O N G I: custard bread couple

how they met:

they met @ a clothing store !!! the stylists had finally caught on that yoongi had been taking home his ~work clothes because honestly he had been a lil too lazy to shop or dress himself lately and after he gave them back he was left w very little clean things and didn’t want to go through their communal laundry pile n figure out what was his so he decided to just shop instead. so he went out w the standard celebrity hat + mask disguise combo and tbh noticed y/n working in the shop right away bc she was in the darks section hidden between two racks of sweaters n secretly using her phone. and it was kinda cute n funny to him 1. bc she was slacking off during work and 2. bc she was dressed in white n pastel pink so she did more standing out than blending in. n so yoongi pretended to look thru a rack of black sweaters for a few mins before he cleared his throat n said “is playing hide and seek part of the job?” and y/n obvi jumped bc she didn’t even realize someone had been in that section and dropped her phone on the ground. so she was pouty and ready to kinda say something bratty back but as soon as she took one look @ yoongi n his hat + mask she bursted into laughter and said “you look like a walking police sketch” min yoongi pretty much lost to the demonic possession that is love @ that very moment

backstory: yoongi’s y/n

her parents run an art gallery in gangnam !!! they always gave her lots of freedom 2 pursue her own interests so when she was little she did everything from piano to taekwondo to dance to collecting dragon ball figurines but also rilakkumas. she never rly had 2 worry abt anything bc her parents are super supportive. and now……..because she’s always had so much freedom, she doesn’t exactly know what she wants to do w her life ??? because a lot of things interest her ?? and choosing one thing doesn’t seem like a decision she’s ready to make yet !?? so she got the job @ the clothing store bc she wanted some responsibility (even tho she breaks company policy n is on her phone half of her shift) and routine. n it made her feel a little less guilty abt being ~taken care of i guess ???? but tbh she doesn’t give herself enough credit bc she does a lot for other ppl ??? esp for her parents like she’s always helping out @ the gallery and running errands hmm other things. she has an older brother who studies film (her fam is generally v artistic) n he’s quite serious n like the definition of perfect child and she likes to tease him a lot but she takes care of him a bit too she’ll call him like “ i dropped off some candles n boxes of tea @ ur apartment bc yesterday you looked so stressed u kinda resembled goku abt to go super saiyan. that can’t be good for ur health !!! take care of urself ”!!!! um tbh when yoongi n y/n were getting to know each other like ~deeply she was kinda worried that he’d be put off by her upbringing bc tho they are not completely polar opposite, his is still very very different from hers and she was afraid that maybe he’d judge her for it but it wasn’t like that @ all !!!! yoongi was v happy & relived (?!!!) to hear this bc he knew that she had 3 pillars of support if he couldn’t be there for some reason and also it was so……….. relieving………. for his heart to know that she hadn’t been hardened by the world ??? and like y/n had been studying his reaction super closely totally prepared for some judgment but the only thought in yoongi’s head was “thank god thank god thank god” because y/n is like his own little heaven & that’s hella cheesy for him to think so it’s probably why he calls her demon instead. he likes that she has many interests because she always has something new to tell him and she knows a little abt everything so when they go out n she explains something to him he feels proud ???? and impressed and smitten ?? and not the usual annoyed bc she talks abt things a lot cuter and with less pretense than namjoon does when he’s being a know it all. but he doesn’t feel like y/n is a know it all. she’s just a sharer !!!! she wants to share everything w yoongi from random facts abt soccer or art or the extensive n complicated backstory of the band gorillaz & she gets excited about it and yoongi LOVES it !!!! he loves that when she’s excited the first thing she thinks abt is telling him so he can be excited too and he loves that he doesn’t have to guess what she’s thinking or feeling bc she tells him everything. she doesn’t hide from him and so he feels like he can’t hide from her and pushes himself to be more honest and open and it’s so relieving to finally be able to fully share himself w someone !!! the only thing that takes years off his life is that yoongi is like 90% of y/n’s impulse control (i think u could tell that in a few texts) lmao

custard bread couple things:

side characters - custard bread lady. y/n’s best friend sooyoung who has a very straightforward and ~jeongguk like personality.

reoccurring themes: custard bread, stop saving his fansite pics, love is demonic possession lmfao, RILAKKUMA VS KUMAMON, this face ;(

nicknames: brat (he calls y/n this usually followed by ;( ) demon (they call each other this lmfao) yoongz (y/n calls him this) mim moomgi (y/n calls him this)

how they met custard bread lady:

it was predating. yoongi was walking y/n to work one morning (which….. he’d rather be sleeping but he wouldn’t be able to see her for a week after that so he decided to milk all the time he had) n they decided to stop @ custard bread lady’s shop bc it was open and on the route 2 y/n’s job so it seemed pretty convenient (they had never been there before) n the plan was to get yoongi’s black coffee & y/n’s hot chocolate n get out of there within 5mins which seems like a reasonable plan but little did they know a middle aged man from h e l l would be the customer ahead of them. & every time yoongi tells this story he swears this man must’ve had zero concept of the coffee making process bc he was like ridiculously offended that he’d have to wait a few minutes for his coffee n completely yelling @ custard bread lady for no reason which was……….delaying the production of his coffee even further. n y/n wanted to step in so bad yoongi could see it all over her face she wanted 2 straight falcon punch this middle aged dude all the way to whatever sad desk job he has for disrespecting the god they would come 2 know as custard bread lady. but he knows her. she’s too high maintence for prison. so yoongi rolls his eyes and very loudly says “just go buy a bottled coffee from f*cking starbucks if ur really in that much of a hurry” and the man turns around like what did u say u punk. who do u think you’re talking to. and yoongi has decided to just completely pretend like he didn’t say anything bc if u dont give demons like this attention they’ll eventually go away so he takes the opportunity 2 step up to the counter n is like “can we have a black coffee n hot chocolate pls we’re prepared 2 wait as long as u need” n custard bread lady is so confused bc the man is like still yelling @ yoongi (who is holding tightly onto y/n so she doesnt turn around like “HE SAIIIIIIIID JUST GO BUY A BOTTLED COFFEE FROM F*C—”) so custard bread lady prepares their order n the guy is yelling @ yoongi who is now scrolling through twitter on his phone & taking mental note of all the new curse words he’s learned from this man and eventually that dude leaves (not without threatening to find yoongi later) and custard bread lady is relieved that he’s gone & is thanking them like they’re some kind of heroes & they’re like we literally didnt do anything @ all. but she’s appreciative anyway n throws in free bread w/ their order and unknowingly changed their lives n taste buds 4ever 🍞

face claim:

gfriend eunha

(idk if these are technically face claims bc i rarely show their faces ! i just like 2 use the same girl for one member to keep the texts consistent & unique 2 them)

S E O K J I N - ajae couple

how they met:

they met @ uni !!! seokjin is hardly ever on campus (he’s a v busy man) so he was super super lost n confused trying to find a restroom one day. and while he was wandering through the halls he saw y/n carrying a 50 ft stack (an exaggeration) of coloring books (there’s a reason ehehheh) and even tho his bladder was abt 2 explode he ran over to help her bc it really looked like she’d fall over if a spec of dust landed on top of them. but being suddenly approached by a tall n broad (n handsome) guy startled y/n so s he fell over anyway. and seokjin laughed his rly rly loud goofy laugh as he picked up the coloring books surrounding her and made a rly cheesy "wow i didn’t think you’d fall for me this quickly" joke & @ first y/n was completely appalled but then she realized he wasn’t laughing at her he was laughing at his own joke lmao !!!! not everyone is as confident n open as seokjin he has no problem talking 2 ppl but it was kind of not the case for y/n she didn’t rly know what to say or do so he did abt 90% of the talking as he carried the coloring books (he didn’t ask abt them) to wherever they needed to go n y/n did abt 100% of the laughing bc seokjin held back a little not wanting 2 overwhelm her and because he rly liked hearing her laugh for some reason. so they get 2 where y/n needs to go n seokjin puts everything down n jokingly asks if there’s a 50ft stack of colored pencils that he also needs to bring in n she laughs again so he’s satisfied n decides to quit while he’s ahead. before he leaves he asks 4 her number and also directions to the nearest restroom !!!!!!!

backstory: seokjin’s y/n

she wants to be a teacher. a kindergarten or elementary school teacher❗️👩🏻‍🏫 she’s like a teaching assistant rn n she’s almoooooooost finished w school !!!! i think what she wants 2 do says a lot abt her personality. very patient very kind & gentle !!!!!! and will indulge in ~childish things like games the way seokjin does !!! but i don’t think she’s as outgoing as him she’s more introverted n shy !!!! she’s the oldest in her family n has 2-3 younger siblings so i think that’s part of the reason why she wants to work w kids so much bc she’s good w them and she loves interacting w them and she has more patience than others do so she’s rly good @ taking the time to understand them…………and seokjin lmao. she listens to him like genuinely listens & appreciates what he has to say and it rly means a lot to him bc there’s certain times when he feels under appreciated or like his voice doesn’t matter but she takes him 100% seriously. she encourages all the silly behavior he’s usually told to suppress bc that’s his charm !! and she thinks he’s sincerely funny and cute and interesting and smart. and tbh most people don’t rly remember that seokjin is his family’s maknae and being the oldest of 7 dudes was probably hard to adjust to !!! they talk abt cooking & baking !! it’s usually seokjin leading and y/n assisting but she’s the one who finds the recipes and stuff n gets so excited bc “omg seokjin is gonna LOVE this !!!!!” and tbh she’s so soft for seokjin he still flusters her a lot even tho they’ve been together for a while so whenever she calls him handsome or cute it’s not bc she knows he wants to hear it but bc she’s still like so in awe of him n probably won’t ever stop. family is so important to her & hers really ADORES seokjin like she mentioned how much her mom loves and brags abt him & that makes her so happy ! n it makes him happy too bc he fits right in & he feels like he belongs ! @ the beginning seokjin was rly worried about scaring her off bc she seemed so shy and stuff and he didn’t wanna overwhelm her but they both got comfortable super quickly bc seokjin is such an easy person to be around and once she started opening up he brought out his full personality. and it’s feels so nice to be himself and have someone w/ common interests and someone he can talk to without feeling like he’s whining. he loves her a lot like rly rly rly loves her n is willing to put aside his pride & admit that she might be the most beautiful person on this planet. he loves to take photos of her when they’re out eating n stuff n it makes her shy but he just like loves looking at her and probably spends most of the day remembering her face. but he also loves like how good she is !! like just a genuinely good person w a pure heart and he thinks it’s so cute that all the games she plays are like super mellow nintendo games like animal crossing !!! he probably bought the game too just so he could give her the fruit from his town and bury bells outside of her house. omg he probably screams when he shakes a tree and bees start chasing him and y/n thinks it’s so cute & funny to watch him panic n then complain abt his character’s visual being compromised bc of the stings. tbh they’d be THAT family that has like a yt account where seokjin uploads vids of him & his son’s mario maker map or snack reviews and u can hear y/n laughing in the background as she’s filming. good & pure.

ajae couple things:

reoccurring themes: cooking, food, video games.

face claim:

red velvet irene

J E O N G G U K - choke slam couple

how they met:

these 2 frogs met outside a convenience store lmao !!!! u know those claw game machines where u spend like a billion quarters just to fail @ winning a plushie 50 consecutive times ??? that’s what guk was doing. mingyu made the mistake of saying those things were impossible and of course guk had to prove him wrong. honestly @ the time he didn’t even know why he had so many quarters in his wallet but he’d later find out that it was one of taehyung’s weird pranks that he’ll forever be grateful for because y/n who was eating her convenience store ramen very very slowly had been watching him lose to the machine 7 times in a row and tbh it was so f*vkifng funny to her and watching the rly cute guy getting scammed by a machine had made her forget abt the mental breakdown she had bc of exams 1hr earlier. so she stuffed her snacks in her backpack n watched him fail just once more before sauntering over as he turned to complain to his friend. y/n smiled n said hey as she put 2 quarters into the machine & guk turned around v v v startled but his surprised rounded eyes soon filled w/ awe ? admiration ? worship ? as y/n managed to successfully capture a plushie within 4 seconds n then slid it into the large pocket of his hoodie after she pulled it out of the slot. but guk couldn’t do much 2 respond bc what tf a goddess was standing in front of him??! this divine and hot as hell supreme being who conquered the cursed claw machine in 1 shot. so y/n taught him the secret to beat the game and mingyu had excused himself after the pair had won two more plushies together and guk didn’t even feel bad that he had forgotten that his friend was there bc this really really interesting convenience store girl was leaning over his shoulder n coaching him as he went for the doramon plushie and her hair smelt like strawberries. when he walked her back to her dorm there were 3 plushies in the pocket of his hoodie, one in his actual hood, 3 in y/n’s backpack and one in her arms.

backstory: jeongguk’s y/n

a student !!! she’s a 1st yr university student. she kinda reflects where guk might be if he was a ~normal dude. i think that’s why the way they met is kinda important bc it was 2 ppl the same age @ the same place @ the same time but @ two completely diff places in life & feeling completely diff emotions. she grew up in a competitive environment bc her dad is a taekwondo instructor and her brother is a well decorated like student athlete type of thing in that sport. omg so she spent a lot of time there and idk why i gave her a tiny bit of sad story but she lived most of her life w/o her mom so it’s always been her & her dad & brother like eating take out n watching sports together @ home and that was more than enough 4 her. only her & yoongi’s y/n & hoseok’s y/n seem to be genuinely interested in idol groups and for her i think it’s bc she rly turned to girl group members for her female role models n stuff !!!!! she’s living away from her dad & brother for university & that’s probably why she was having a hard time that night they met. and bc guk knows she’s alone he gives her a lot of attention (in f2l texts he always wanted to talk on the phone or FaceTime even tho they weren’t together yet & he talked abt how he loves being w her even tho sometimes he’s just keeping her company while she studies) guk’s y/n is smart and witty and confident and guk really really really thinks she’s wonder woman or something. in his eyes she can do ANYTHING they joke a loooooot and roast each other a looooooooot but he truly believes she’s the most capable person in the world and he thinks super super super highly of her. she’s funny and dependable and ambitious and understanding and she respects the creative direction of his dubsmash vids lmao. bc they joke around so much guk always takes the time to let her know how much he cares abt her so she doesn’t miss understand. like in the christmas texts and valentine’s texts he’s one of the only members 2 rly pour out his feelings bc he makes sure to put in the effort during special days. y/n sometimes tells him that he doesn’t need to bc she knows without him having to say it and she doesn’t want him to feel pressured but he thinks it’s really important that she hears it from him. it’s a real concern for him he’s mentioned it a few times that his instinct is to show affection through teasing her & memes but that’s bc he was scared of the vulnerability @ first but now he’s a self proclaimed Emo™ and let’s her know that she’s loved by him. their personalities are really really similar so they understand each other easily but are different enough that they compliment each other well and are literally each other’s partner in crime (they talk abt how much trouble they get into). idk if any of u watch running man but there’s this episode when haha’s wife guest stars and they’re paired as a team and the dynamic is sooooooo guk & y/n bc even tho they’re competitive and she’s yelling @ him to endure just a little bit longer so they can win the challenge she’s still being like affectionate n like calling him pet names while coaching him and after he gets eliminated from another challenge and it’s her turn he does the same for her and they won the show that day by like playing to the other teams weaknesses and gassing each other up @ the same time omg & the last challenge was something romantic like they had to both pick a random floor of the building to meet on and if they chose the same one then they’d win and they both picked their anniversary and won & it was so funny & cute bc they were like screaming. and that’s how guk & y/n are. partners in crime but @ the end of the day Emos In Luv.

choke slam couple things:

reoccurring characters: wonwoo from seventeen. uyoo the dog. y/n’s best friend yerin. the napkin lady from the convenience store (who hates them very much).

reoccurring themes: kermit memes / frogs, RIPPED (as in everything he raises [kids…….or puppies] will be ripped like him), jeon jeongguk vs jeon wonwoo, getting banned from places, choke slams

nicknames: frog girl (he calls y/n this because he claims that she looks like a kermit the frog meme) babe (usually it’s hot babe lmfao and he never calls y/n this directly only when he’s talking abt her……..to her?)

face claim:

red velvet joy

J I M I N - snow couple

how they met:

they met…………@ the dmv hehehehehehh! jimin can’t drive yet but he really really wants to and in korea u gotta take one written test n two driving tests. mini is there for the first driving test n he’s sosososo nervous bc if he fails this he really won’t hear the end of it from the others……….especially jeon jeongguk. he’s gone over the procedure abt a thousand times in his head and he’s convinced that he’s ready but then the small waiting room door opens and in walks y/n dressed in all white & her hair in pretty bun (she looks like she has v important plans after this) and she’s reading the driving manual they gave him after his written test and jimin is surprised bc he for sure thought he’d get celeb privilege n take the test alone (plus its early morning who else would be here). y/n sits beside him and notices he’s not studying @ all so she’s like hey wanna share my book !!!! and omg shy jimin is like o….kay…….sure as she scoots closer to him. n jimin pretends to read the left page but rly he’s looking @ her through his peripheral n listening to her whisper the ~important things on the right page to herself and it’s kinda calming but also making him incredibly nervous. n when y/n notices he’s totally not reading she closes the book and introduces herself and jimin (v shyly) does the same n she tells him that she thinks she has a 3% chance of passing considering that her brother has been teaching her & it took him 3 tries to get his license n mini laughs @ this and says that he has a 5% chance of passing because bc he only studied last night and exactly 0 ppl have been teaching him how to drive. so they go out to take their tests and jimin cheers for y/n and she fails n y/n cheers for jimin & he fails but it’s ok and jimin’s like “it looked like u were playing v bad gta” n y/n’s like “well u looked like u were 8th place in mariokart” and while the instructor went to schedule another test for them they were talking abt the teasing they’d get from their friends n jimin was describing guk like an elementary school bully & y/n was like “ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ he’s probably just jealous bc ur more handsome than he is” & jimin was gooooooone

backstory: jimin’s y/n

wow a BIG CUTIE a real flower girl like if jimin was born a girl he might be the cute n small n secretly devilish y/n !!! i imagine her parents to be business people or at least someone mildly important bc she always maintains a clean appearance (like even when they met early in the morning @ the dmv jimin made note of how well put together she looked) and i think she likes that image and so does jimin bc he always feels like he’s meeting up w a princess (except on their secret shinee nights……..that’s strictly business) they can relate to each other in that sense bc even though they’re both very much themselves most of the time there’s still pressure to maintain a certain image in the back of their mind n i think that’s why they clicked right away when they met bc as soon as they stopped pretending to study and joked abt how unprepared they were it instantly became so comfortable. they can admit their faults & insecurities to each other w/o dwelling on it so it’s rly rly rly refreshing n jimin always feels like he’s floating on a cloud when he’s with y/n. she adores him really really adores him so much and i think it’s obvious (even tho she teases him bc his reactions are so cute) bc everything reminds her of him ! jimin has said that she thinks everything small and round looks like him but i really think it’s bc having tiny jimin’s around when she misses him gives her some comfort !!! i don’t think he’s caught on yet bc he still has a hard time comprehending that someone likes him that much & reciprocates his feelings & attachment 100%. she’s the most insecure abt her bf being around so many beautiful ppl !!! n it’s not even that bad like she only ever mentions one group and the only reason it makes her uncomfortable is bc jimin has talked abt them before and jimin is the best guy in the world 2 her so there’s small feelings of “ah am i good enough for him?” but she usually fights those thoughts off. they have so much fun together & they love meeting up outside bc being cooped up is not what they’re abt !!!! but omg jimin is so determined not to waste any opportunity to spend time w her that he sometimes meets up when he’s v exhausted and ends up falling asleep while they’re out (it’s happened twice in daily texts hehe) and y/n doesn’t mind bc she thinks he’s cute even tho it hurts her that he works himself so hard !!! but she’s okay w/ looking after him while he sleeps bc at least she knows for sure that he’s resting. jimin adores her just as much !!! he thinks she’s so funny & amazing & cute & smart and they’re always giggling abt something or talking abt something excitingly but even if they aren’t doing much like if he’s just resting on her lap before he has to leave for a schedule he still feels like he’s on a high. and nothing makes him happier than checking his phone after a super long day n seeing a bunch of goodnight selcas and msgs~ and he appreciates that she feels the need to take care of him bc she’s never really had to take care of anyone before (she's family maknae) and that must mean that he’s rly dear to her so holds that special feeling and takes it with him wherever he goes~

snow couple things:

reoccurring themes: snow app thirst traps, secret shinee thing, apeach, tiny………..park jimin………tears………..

nicknames: mini (y/n calls him this)

what is the secret shinee thing:

okay the secret shinee thing is a………….game? a competition? initially meant to be a stress reliever but it got way too competitive and complicated over time lmfao okay it’s like competitive noraebang + chubby bunny + other special rules !!!!! so the other person picks a shinee song (member solos are allowed too but usually saved for the final round) for you and u have to sing it with 2 marshmallows in your mouth and during a specific members part you have to dance too. and there’s a banned word that u can’t say & u get 5 points deducted from ur score every time u say it and every time u forget to dance. so u have to try to get a high score despite all the challenges and whoever has the highest combined score @ the end wins. okok for example if mini was choosing for you he’d say something like

ring ding dong

jonghyun

banned word: butterfly

and okay if ur score was like 89 but u said butterfly once and forgot to dance once during jjong’s part then ur score would be 79. & if u were picking for mini you’d say something like

taemin

danger

banned word: stay

and the loser has to do like a full game of chubby bunny (i’m imagining jimin rn and dyyyyying) + buy dinner + something embarrassing that the other person gets 2 chose :p

the reason they don’t want anyone to know abt it is because 1. it’s their special game n they’re worried their friends (taehyungandgukbutudidn’thearthatfromthem) might try to take it over 2. they rly look SO ridiculous while playing 3. jimin is actually friends w/ shinee (taemin) and if they found out abt this he’d be mortified 4. they take the competition too seriously heheh :p

face claim:

gfriend yerin

N A M J O O N - aesthetic couple

how they met:

omg they met on set !!!! namjoon is super super super super super super lucky that someone else was sick n y/n was sent to the photo shoot instead. longest photo shoot of his life honestly bc he was hung up on her as soon as she wheeled a rack of clothes past him w/o even looking his way. and he couldn’t help but stare as he was getting his hair done and his eyeliner applied and completely ignoring whatever yoongi was complaining about this time bc the peach tones of her outfit n make up n aura were too captivating & his mind couldn’t rly be bothered to focus elsewhere. and y/n totally knew that he had been staring @ her the entire time bc hello this is y/n she’s always 2 steps ahead of namjoon (which he loves bc he’s always been @ the top of whatever he does he’s never had 2 play catch up before) n so she continued to avoid his eyes as she smoothed out the collar of his shirt & joon was holding his breath bc her perfume that he recognized was really the icing on top of the cake. y/n smiled when he was finally styled to her liking and said “you know my sister likes bangtan. she talks abt jimin 24/7, but i’m more into rappers” joon finally woke up as she was walking away and he shouted out a v awkward “ur wearing chanel no5!!!” and y/n laughed @ his clumsy + cute attempt to impress her. n the fact that she was the smooth one during their first meeting still kills joon 2 this day.

backstory: namjoon’s y/n

she’s a stylist —but not all the way up there yet she mostly does styling for photo shoots n doesn’t have like a person or team she exclusively styles for at the moment but she’d rly like one. she’s interested in design & that would be like a dream come tru and namjoon fully believes in her bc she is so unique & brilliant & pretty much other worldly (in a good way) to him that he knows whatever she creates is gonna be good. she’s like namjoon in that she wants to be cultured ! and has probably studied like foreign language (they talked abt english lessons) or art history or some other interesting thing bc she’s always looking for inspiration. she has a younger sister who loves bangtan (her fave member is jimin) & hates namjoon bc of an incident that happened the first time she met him heheheh her dad is a professor n her mom works very hard to raise the family ! n they’re very well mannered n always had high standards for their daughters n even though they’re not authoritarian style parents y/n & her sister always felt like they had to maintain a certain image. so y/n carries herself w/ a lot of grace & namjoon loves it bc he’s (life threateningly) clumsy. @ the beginning he thought that he was way more into her than she was into him but i think we can all tell from the texts that she rly thinks namjoon is the hottest man alive lmao :p and tbh she finds him rly cute & charming especially the quirky way he dresses & the way he smiles w his entire face & the way he needs to fact check everything !!!!! & she really loves that he’s interested in fashion & supports her work bc she loves sharing each other’s opinions of clothes. they rly are the soulmate couple to me bc even their different interests are similar interests like. they go to record shops/cafes because namjoon likes to find weird english music and she likes to look @ the album art & they have this habit of turning two different things into one common thing. kinda like a puzzle. and that’s why i think they were meant for each other. she’s so openly into him like 24/7 and he pretends to be nonchalant but it flusters him & he loves it but he does his best to act ~smooth. it’s also super good & healthy bc he never feels insecure in the relationship and in return he tries his best to treat her like an actual goddess which she has fun w/ sometimes (the pic of him tying her shoes lmao) but they both receive back the love n attention they give ! it’s a rly good balance. y/n has also mentioned being close w/ namjoon’s mom a couple of times now and he loves it bc he’s such a momma’s boi but sometimes he feels like they just get together over tea and compare notes 📝 bc he’ll get calls from his mom like “you broke her sister’s arm !!!!!!!” or texts from y/n like “i can’t believe it took u 2 days 4hrs and 17 minutes to call your mom back, kim namjoon” lmao they just get each other and are so comfortable w/ each other namjoon can lay his head in her lap and talk abt alternate universes for 3 hours n she’ll let him get all of his thoughts out & he listens to her talk extensively abt the different shades of red. they’re each other’s best friend, personal photographer, #1 fan etc etc. just a good n healthy relationship

aesthetic couple things:

reoccurring characters: y/n’s sister who hates namjoon. y/n’s best friend seungwan.

reoccurring themes: selfie wars, when will y/n’s sister stop hating him?, ryan, mildly suggestive texts.

nicknames: baby (he calls y/n this)

why does y/n’s sister hate namjoon:

he broke her arm lmaoooooooooooo ! accidentally ofc ! it was the first time y/n was introducing her to him n she was very very worried bc her sister is a fan of bangtan n had high expectations that he’d be the person fans thought he was. so namjoon gave 2 of the tickets that are reserved for his friends & family to y/n and her sister and they were gonna meet for the first time after the show n probably eat w his parents or something. at least that was the plan. so everything is over and they’re backstage looking for namjoon & y/n goes to the restroom bc um…….their concerts are like 3hrs long friends. and while she’s waiting y/n’s sister spots namjoon n like naturally she gets v excited bc she’s a fan and stuff n she forgets that she’d recognize him even tho he probably wouldn’t recognize her and she reaches her arm out as he passes to say like “yo my sister is in here” bc he looks like he’s trying to call her on his phone but instead it comes out as a loud n excited HEY !!!! and namjoon looks up 2 see a teenage girl reaching towards him n shouting n wearing the tour merch so he jumps to a very bad conclusion n assumes she’s like a sasaeng or something n gets scared n freaks out lmfao he like pushes his arms out to keep her away n this catches her off guard and she stumbles back n loses her footing n falls v awkwardly n suddenly starts yelling y/n’s name (it all happened v fast they both didn’t have time to react) and namjoon finally recognizes the familiar features and puts 2 n 2 together and hes like oh……………………….shit… and y/n comes out of the restroom and sees her sister on the ground looking livid and namjoon standing in front of her looking like he just signed a deal w/ sweet death and she also says oh……………………shit…and after many bribes including getting jimin to sign her cast she still hates him.

face claim:

apink naeun

T A E H Y U N G - soft couple

how they met:

they met at noraebang late one night omg !!!! taehyung was there w jimin and we know tae doesn’t drink but y/n truly thought he was drunk outta his mind when she walked into the wrong room n found him singing (yelling) and dancing to gee by snsd. jimin was so embarrassed (even tho he wasn’t the one trying to hit taeyeon’s high notes) and just looked @ the doorway mortified but tae didn’t care n offered y/n the microphone as he continued to follow along to the choreography as best as he could. and of course he gained a duet partner bc y/n was smitten as soon as she saw the pure (non intoxicated heheheh) excitement in his eyes :b y/n forgot abt the friends she was supposed to meet there and stayed with the 95z until their hour was up. tae made jimin pretend to be hungry so he had an excuse to hang out w y/n some more and invited her to mcdonalds w them and he kept sneaking peaks at her as they walked the two blocks bc he honestly was convinced she was an angel n now that he wasn’t being filtered by the multicolored lights of the noraebang room he felt a lil shy and ofc jimin noticed this right away and would giggle whenever taehyung’s eyes would go wide when y/n spoke to him and when he stuttered out her order to the cashier !!!! so mini had his fun bc he knew that would be the last time he’d ever hang out w them n not feel like a third wheel

backstory: taehyung’s y/n

if u asked taehyung abt y/n he would tell you that she’s an angel. an angel that has been sent down from heaven to love n protect him. she’s everything an angel would be: kind and caring and sweet and open and loving. she let’s tae be tae and that’s a v important thing !!! often he gets kinda scolded for behaving too ~weirdly or they tell him not to act so freely when they’re on broadcast but that’s never the case w y/n. he’s never heard those things from her. she accepts everything he shares & treats everything so specially n like it’s the most brilliant idea in the world. whenever he’s super excited texting her abt things she never shuts him down or refuses to play along she always joins in just as excited & encourages him to express his creativity and so he always feels super good & confident & he’s never worried that she’ll think he’s strange. and tbh it’s not like she goes out of her way to baby taehyung, that’s just who she is as a person. like when they first met & she didn’t turn around and walk out the door but rather joined in on the fun he was having w/o missing a beat !!!!! she’s just naturally rly open & accepting & fun so he doesn’t feel like she puts up w/ him out of sympathy or whatever. he knows it’s genuine & that she TRULY does think his thoughts and opinions are smart & unique & interesting & she really does fully trust him. and that’s why he think she’s his angel and he’s always reiterating his appreciation for her n complimenting her n making sure that she never doubts the pure love he has for her. she’s an only child and bc of that she’s very sociable and has a lot of friends and obvi has no problems starting conversations w strangers heheh. and she’s also a student like guk’s y/n (i see her doing something w medicine like studying to be a pediatric nurse or something n i can already imagine taehyung shouting nurse wifey !!!!!! when he gets a paper cut) and i think she puts a lot of pressure on herself to succeed in school & worries a lot more than he does in general & she doesn’t rly have to talk about it for taehyung to recognize it so he’s ALWAYS alwaaaaays talking abt her positive qualities bc he never wants her feeling insecure & he mentions how he’ll always be there to love & support her no matter what’s going on in her life bc like he said he loves her when she’s sad happy hungry sleepy thirsty sneezy but especially SAD bc that’s when she needs him most. they’re rly soft and pure omg everything they do is so cute like the couple items? scream. most of it is taehyung’s idea bc he’s excited to be in love and he wants everyone to know !!!!! even though he technically can’t let anyone know & that’s part of why he dotes on her so much too. this is a 2 way angel street. he’s her angel too and she feels it all the time !!!! there’s always a happy guy around that brings out the best in her !!!! n she loves the spontaneity that taehyung brings into her life bc they try a lot of new things !!!!! but still keep some regular things like they’re always eating mcdonald’s lmao (pls help these kids) and they don’t feel the need to go out as often the way jimin’s couple does. they stay in a lot and cuddle up and that’s just as exciting to them bc they have big imaginations and a lot 2 talk abt. they don’t stay mad @ each other bc theyre bother very forgiving n understanding n bc their fights are never fights like they both are very thoughtful ppl they’d never do things like forget an anniversary or say something hurtful that they don’t mean. bc that’s not who they are as ppl (esp in the relationship) taehyung’s jealousy is very small n usually half serious ! bc everyone likes her (like everyone likes taehyung)! from grandmas they meet when they’re out to kids in her neighborhood to her professors to his members (especially guk but it’s only in a noona - dongsaeng way & he mostly just feeds her & the other gfs info on tae/the other boys) so he gets nervous but she always thinks it’s cute and reassures him !!! there’s lots of communication n support n gassing each other up !!!! as expected from angels !!!!!

soft couple things:

reoccurring themes: uses dog pics to represent himself, this couple doodles a lot, tae uses bullet points / report style when he’s trying to make a point without being too serious (ex: missing person report when ur sad, recipe when he’s jealous), emojis, boyfriend daesang, soft memes

nicknames: wifey (he calls y/n this)

face claim:

red velvet seulgi

H O S E O K - best couple

how they met:

they met @ the hospital when hoseok was a handful of months old and y/n was a handful of hours! n there’s not much to say abt that initial encounter but their moms are best friends n they grew up together u know. hoseok would cry whenever he fell n scraped his knee & y/n would tell him she loved him n did her best to distract his thoughts as she placed a band aid over the wound. when her parents didn’t get her the doll castle she wanted for her bday hoseok ran home n gathered up all his legos to build one for her. n so they lived w that kind of dynamic (being each other’s knight in shining armor) for a long time n they loved it u know and they could admit that to themselves and to others but as they grew older they would never admit that they ~more than platonic~ loved each other bc “best friends don’t do that”. so hoseok would sit on the edge of y/n’s desk w his arms crossed n his tongue digging into the side of his cheek as another one of their classmates attempted a horribly thought out confession and instead of direct rejection y/n would ramble on abt what a perfect guy shinee’s taemin was. hoseok still instinctively scoffs whenever he hears replay. it wasn’t easy 4 y/n either bc her bff hoseokie whom she had to quickly change the channel for when horror movie ads came on was suddenly this handsome godly dancer n she had to wash her hands for an uncomfortable amount of time as she eavesdropped on the other girls in the restroom gushing over how hot her best friend was and struggled to deal w the fact that she thought the same.

backstory: hoseok’s y/n

we know a little bit abt y/n’s backstory bc hoseok & y/n mention their childhood a lot. like we know that he’s her best friend and that their moms are best friends and we know that she hasn’t loved anyone besides hoseok (except for shinee’s taemin) she’s basically hoseok sunshine but…………w/ a twist. hoseok is a capri sun & she’s lemonade. she’s rly rly sweet but wow if u even look @ hoseok the wrong way ur dead SO DEAD. but hoseok usually talks her out of being confrontational so u’ll probably just get hit w/ the double stink eye from them. to me she’s got an office job !!!! like she’s the mischievous graduate assistant n probably maknae of the office so she’s well loved but has to do things like run to the store n buy pringles for her coworkers when they’re working overtime and the stereotypic coffee run thing~ she brings a lot of joy to the older employees the way hoseok brings a lot of joy to his members & team so they never work her too hard. i think it’s a v comfortable job for y/n & it’s nice to have kind of a ~controlled environment. the beginning of their relationship was a mix of easy & awkward bc even tho it’s what they both wanted for a long time it was still like…….suddenly ur making out w/ ur best friend what the heck is going on. but after that it was so natural !!!! they know each other’s personalities so well that they’re never confused abt what the other needs !!!! tbh everyone was waiting for this to happen. like their moms have been dreaming abt a wedding for years and yoongi + guk had a bet going on and guk lost bc yoongi did some instigating hehehehh. y/n is so friendly & charming & they’ve known her for as long as they’ve known hoseok so they all like her for him bc she’s absolutely his #1 fan. y/n i think worries the least abt his schedule and not seeing him for a bit bc she’s already experienced it as his best friend and if anything it’s easier now bc she knows he’s ~hers. and if she is missing him he’s rly good @ making himself available to her so things get sorted out pretty quickly ! she rly rly rly cares abt him and wants to protect him bc he’s the best person she knows and so like that’s why she gets so worked up even if someone says they don’t like bngtn lmao & she rly cares abt his feelings like they mentioned that she was a fan of taemin when they were in school but ever since she found out it slightly bothered hoseok (f2l texts) she never mentions it (the way guk’s y/n does. not that she doesn’t care abt guk’s feelings. they’re just 2 v diff boys) !!!!!! she’s always giving him compliments and trying to make him feel good she doesn’t want him to feel insecure. hoseok rly loves her bc he truly feels like he has a person in this world who understands him 100% and he never feels like his personality is too much or too little when he’s with her. everything feels perfect & familiar & it’s like his heart’s home is w/ her and not w him.

best couple things:

reoccurring themes: my mom told ur mom to tell me to tell you / family events (basically all stuff implying that they were childhood bffs turned Best Couple), lee taemin

face claim:

red velvet wendy

#backstory #bonus #relationship details: custard bread couple #relationship details: soft couple #relationship details: best couple #relationship details: chokeslam couple #relationship details: aesthetic couple #relationship details: ajae couple #relationship details: snow couple

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a-panda-reads-act-omega · 7 years

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ACT OMEGA PART 8

THE 24/10/16 UPDATE

Woow, another liveblog from your favorite act omega liveblogger. Are there any other livebloggers out there i need to know. So yeah, here we are with part 8! Big Vriska number for the win. Also only two updates away from double digits! Yeah, I’m not sure I thought this through with the whole update-update format, this might take a L OT of posts to get caught up. Luckily, I have no problem with making a fuckton of posts. Anyways, I think we left off with the kids, so lets hurry up and get back to them!

(Cant post the image. Here’s the link. http://mspfanventures.com/?s=16414&p=47)

GASP, IS thIS SOME MULTIPLE CHOICE SHIT? Well considering I’m forever going to be staying chronological, I suppose I should start with the one on the next page!

A CHARACTER SELECTION MENU appears through the power of NON-LINEAR STORYTELLING. You know the drill by now, have some free will! Or just go in this order, if you think agency is overrated

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE

Oh, that’s helpful. Great, I’ll start with ONE then.

The fact that you are a dedicated and loyal reader is obvious and indisputable, so of course you won’t be moving on ahead without having taken a gander at all of the options presented to you.

Obviously! what kinda brainless CHUMP would move on without you explicitly stating to? NOT ME.

Anyways, starting with ONE.

PFt, woah their eyes.

KANAYA: (Hey) ROXY: oh heeeeey! KANAYA: (Hey To You Again Except Slightly More Quietly) ROXY: (oh sorry)

It seems they gotta be quiet for reasons. H m m M..

ROXY: (why r we whispering) KANAYA: (I Am Not Entirely Sure)

So they just need to be miss zuipPer lips for no reason then?

KANAYA: (That Just Seems To Be What Everyone Has Lapsed Into Doing) KANAYA: (And Now Speaking In A Normal Volume Will Draw More Attention Than Desired Especially When Attempting To Have A Private Conversation) ROXY: (im lovin this private convo already but you might need to make it snappy)

so everybodys just whispering? do they all got SECRETS? Also, what’s the hurry Roxy?

ROXY: (john looks about ready to get down n dirty with some srs leadership biz)

Oh yeah.

KANAYA: (Alright Then I Will Attempt To Be Brief) KANAYA: (I Wanted To Thank You Again) KANAYA: (For The Matriorb Certainly)

Alright cool! It seems that this Kanaya does remember Roxy giving her the good ol’ matriorb.

KANAYA: (But Additionally For Everything Else You Have Accomplished Today) KANAYA: (I Know Being The One To Strike The Final Blow Against Our Shared Enemy In The Midst Of Battle Does Not Necessarily Warrant Gratitude But I Thought It Might Be Nice For You To Hear That What You Did Was Appreciated)

What she DID, was prove herself to be a goddamn BADASS. But honestly everybody here’s a badass one way or another.

KANAYA: (At Least By Me) KANAYA: (On Behalf Of My Species As Well As All Those Who Suffered At The Behest Of The Condesce) KANAYA: (And All Those That May Now Be Born And Live Free Of Tyranny) KANAYA: (You Did Good)

Pft, nice. “Ya did good, kid.”

ROXY: (omg i am cri)

goddammit these lines always manage to be fucking perfect.

ROXY: (that wasnt brief @ all but twas so so bootiful) ROXY: (gdi cmere moms big loveable space gf)

OK this doesn’t need to be stated, but I fucking love roxy.

KANAYA: (Um I Would Prefer It If We Saved The Hug For Later Maybe) ROXY: (aww ok thats cool)

nO FUCKING HUG NOW

KANAYA: (Anyway I Have Only Just Met You But You Have Already Proven Yourself To Be Just As Extraordinary An Individual As Your...) KANAYA: (Uh) KANAYA: (Rose)

Nice Kanaya.

ROXY: (as my rose?) KANAYA: (Yes Your Rose) ROXY: (;D)

ITS CONFIRMED, Rose is Roxy’s Rose. this conversation is so cute.

See you’re still over there TZ. Whatcha lookin at? The uh... oh youre blind. what are you doing terezi?? come on girl, celebrate!

ROXY: (okay looks like john got distracted by somethin) ROXY: (so since we got a little more time to chat it up) ROXY: (and so long as were exchangin bomb as FUCK felicitations) ROXY: (youre not so shabby yourself yknow) ROXY: (like damn i was absolutely right youre one deadly customer)

Yeah no fuckin kidding, this girl knows how to kick ass.

ROXY: (seeing u whip out that BEASTLY CHAINSAW) ROXY: (was a sight to behold)

PFt, that was nothing. You should have seen when she single handedly put three of the most dangerous characters on the meteor out of commision.

KANAYA: (I Really Did Not Do All That Much Surprisingly) KANAYA: (Or Perhaps Unsurprisingly) KANAYA: (I Am Not Sure If I Was Erring On The Side Of Caution After All) KANAYA: (Out Of Consideration For The Gift You Gave Me) KANAYA: (Or If Perhaps I Was Simply Unpracticed)

Well yeah, she didnt do as much in this battle as the others. But like she said, she had the matriorb to keep safe. PLUS, she wasnt godtier. So yeah Kanaya, you’re excused from doing your makeup during the final epic battle.

ROXY: (who cares??) ROXY: (we WON) ROXY: (gave that witch what was COMING TO HER) ROXY: (and thats the end of that no point gettin our knickers all in a twist over it no more)

Roxy’s got the right idea. There doesn’t gotta be any more “proving yourself.” You did the battle, and you came out on top! JUst be done with it.

KANAYA: (Yes I Suppose Youre Right) KANAYA: (Though I Do Wonder How Things Might Have Gone If I Had Attempted To Dust Off One Of The Old Fraymotifs)

Oh shit, Kanaya’s got fraymotifs? And also, you can use fraymotifs without being godtier?

oh. wait. terezi isnt godtier is she? Yeah, you totally can use fraymotifs without godtier.

ROXY: (no kidding!) ROXY: (yeah that woulda been pretty badass) ROXY: (we could have had a sick combo) ROXY: (void and...) ROXY: (uh) KANAYA: (Space) ROXY: (right yeah space)

Well too bad you’ll never have the opportunity to USE that sick deadly combo!

I am ONE HUNDRED percent sure that will be the case

i am SO SURE

nobody has to die anymore

completely sure.

KANAYA: (It May Have Indeed Been Sick But Upon Further Reflection Perhaps Not)

No kanaya, it would be SUPER fuckin badass dont even give me that shit.

ROXY: (wait rly) ROXY: (how come?) KANAYA: (I Dont Feel Like I Ever Got The Opportunity To Truly Get In Touch With My Aspect Like You) KANAYA: (It Has Never Seemed Pertinent That I Be Able To Cast Some Sort Of Spacey Enchantment) KANAYA: (In Fact I Have Yet To Stumble Across A Scenario I Could Not Handle Through More Traditional Methods) ROXY: (u mean a deadly body slam full a sharp metal teeth twice the length of your head) KANAYA: (Yes Precisely) KANAYA: (That Tends To Cover The Bases Pretty Well)

WELL, Chainsaws do seem to cover many different issues. Mainly the ones which involve somebody needing to be cut the fuck in half. But I dont know if being “In touch” with your aspect was ever really a thing. I mean, when did John become “in touch” with his aspect? He just sorta got the powers and did shit with them. i dont really know what that has to do with it- wait a goddamn second. People always associate the wind aspect with like independence and shit, right? And.. the last thing that happened before John went godtier, was a choice. Given to him by Vriska, who for the first time decided to step back and let him decide what to do on his own. Whether or not she would have owned up to what she said about letting him decide how to fall asleep, he still made the choice and went with it on is own. So maybe that’s got something to do with it.

Or maybe I’m just an idiot.

ROXY: (well you know what thats cool) ROXY: (u do u) ROXY: (besides) ROXY: (hopefully there wont be any more reason for you to wreck shit)

GOddammit stop saying shit like that

KANAYA: (That Would Be Ideal I Suppose) KANAYA: (However It Is Always Wise To Be Prepared) KANAYA: (Just In Case) ROXY: (ofc!) ROXY: (and hey) ROXY: (just cuz we won the game doesnt mean there wont be any more opportunities to like) ROXY: (explore yourself and your aspect) ROXY: (our cool powers are too friggin handy for them to just stop bein relevant once we walk thru a magic door)

SPeaking of which, can THEY HURRY UP AND WALK THROUGH THE MAGIC FUCKING DOOR YET IM GETTING ANXIOUS.

ROXY: (maybe someday youll get the chance to blitz ur chakras and get spacey w it) ROXY: (and itll be at your own pace instead of having to rush it for the sake of fixing some giant spacetastrophe) KANAYA: (That Does Sound Nice)

YES IT DOES NOW HURRY UP THROUGH THE DOOR SO THAT BECOMES A REALITY COME THE FUCK ON JOHN

KANAYA: (Considering Right Now I Am Very Unsure Of How To Even Begin Blitzing Those Particular Chakras) ROXY: (i bet u can ask john) ROXY: (hes rly good at givin advice for stuff like that)

YES HE IS BUT HE ISNT GOOD AT OPENING DOORS AAAAA

ROXY: (tho he probably doesnt even know it pffff) KANAYA: (You Are Also Very Good At Giving Advice) KANAYA: (That Was Not Necessarily A Request I Simply Thought I Should Point That Out) ROXY: (TOO BAD youre gettin some anyway ;P) ROXY: (rly tho ive hardly even begun to wrestle my voidy powers into submission) ROXY: (still got a loooooong way to go on that front) ROXY: (but thus far most of my blitzing has just been like) ROXY: (being around the thing) ROXY: (and letting myself embrace this like) ROXY: (natural synergy i got going w it) KANAYA: (When You Say) KANAYA: (The Thing) KANAYA: (Do You Mean Nothing) KANAYA: (Considering Your Aspect Presides Over Literal Nothingness)

Yes Kanaya, this is exactly what she means.

ROXY: (pffft) ROXY: (yes thats what i mean :p) KANAYA: (Okay I Was Just Attempting To Clarify) KANAYA: (How Does One Surround Themselves With The Concept Of Nonexistence) ROXY: (i dunno!) ROXY: (when u put it that way it does sound pretty mind bending) ROXY: (i guess ive just been lucky?) ROXY: (or maybe the nothing is naturally attracted to me and lucks got nothin to do w it)

WELL YEAh, what isnt naturally attracted to you? Guys i just really love roxy help

ROXY: (but yeah i got that voidy ring @ one point) ROXY: (and when john started getting to fixing the timeline he took me to a place that felt like) ROXY: (the nothingest nothing to ever unexist) KANAYA: (That Sounds Interesting) KANAYA: (What Was It Like)

Probably nothing.

THATS a cool panel right there.

ROXY: (well it was) ROXY: (white) ROXY: (but not pure white) ROXY: (just slightly off) ROXY: (and) ROXY: (it was super vast) ROXY: (but not like regular outer space where you can actually see stuff like stars stretch on and on til you cant see it anymore) ROXY: (which at least gives u a sense of distance) ROXY: (but instead it was almost claustrophobic) ROXY: (cuz there was nothing there) ROXY: (you and all the other somethings just completely enveloped by a shrink wrap o absence)

HUmm.. thats pretty interesting to say the least. Not really sure what to think of it though! Just pretty nifty.

KANAYA: (Hmmmm) ROXY: (never really tried putting this into words) ROXY: (i think the thing about it was that the void sort of) ROXY: (changed) ROXY: (depending on how i chose to perceive it) ROXY: (cause the whole point is that its kinda like) ROXY: (idk) ROXY: (maybe a little like binary) KANAYA: (Binary?)

too bad sollux is dead he’d get a kick outta this.

did anybody make this connection. computer hacker guy who likes two’s. Binary. man. i feel like everybody did.

ROXY: (yknow binary) ROXY: (computer language) ROXY: (0011101100101001)

TRANSLATOr HELP

“;)“

omfg she just winked in binary.

KANAYA: (Oh That) ROXY: (the way that works is basically) ROXY: (you have a bit) ROXY: (like a computery bit) ROXY: (and it can say either 0 or 1) ROXY: (and dependin on which it is the computer displays the info differently) ROXY: (but the void is like a completely blank bit) ROXY: (there isnt a 0 or a 1 written on the bit yet but thats all were programmed to understand yknow) ROXY: (like 0 is technically nothing but whats important is that theres something there for you to see) ROXY: (but what im gettin at is that really void is just blank space waiting to be written on) ROXY: (by somebody like yours truly) ROXY: (im the computer and youre the person reading the display)

Oh. That’s pretty cool and shit.

OH shes gettin all magicky here

ROXY: (and my whole voidy thing) ROXY: (is that i gotta figure out the code for whatever i wanna make exist) ROXY: (and write it on the blank bits) ROXY: (then) ROXY: (i snatch em outta the void!)

Oh AGAIN. YEAh, roxys power seems a lot cooler now.

ROXY: (yoink!!!)

*gasp*

nice lipstick yo

Kanaya is so fucking cute oml. She looks kinda dumbfounded by this lipstick.

KANAYA: (Wow) KANAYA: (That Was Really Quite Insightful Roxy) KANAYA: (I Think I Am Already Beginning To Understand Things Better) KANAYA: (But What Is This) ROXY: (p sure its lipstick!) ROXY: (and its 4 u) ROXY: (i dont rly know if pinks ur color but) ROXY: (here it is anyway!)

Oh god help me im already starting to ship it.

KANAYA: (Another Gift) KANAYA: (Why) ROXY: (daaaaw i dunno) ROXY: (i mean its actually kinda cool i was able to make this at all) ROXY: (i bet it must be bc of you somehow) ROXY: (you like lipstick right?) KANAYA: (Yes) ROXY: (i dont know if this is just me but i bet this is totes a thing w space players) ROXY: (like i get the vibe that u guys r more in touch with the objects around you) ROXY: (specially the ones thatre important to you) KANAYA: (I Suppose...)

HMm.. Interesting bit of aspect analysis. That could possibly be a thing.

ROXY: (well?) ROXY: (ru gonna take it or what) KANAYA: (I Really Cant Accept This) KANAYA: (I Was Attempting To Alleviate The Debt Of Gratitude I Have Already Been Accumulating Towards You) KANAYA: (A Measly Thank You Is Hardly Enough) KANAYA: (And Yet You Present Me With Even More To Be Thankful For)

COme on Kanaya dont be like that. Just take the thing and be hAPPY! you dont gotta prove yourself for a gift.

ROXY: (man thats not how this works) ROXY: (you dont owe me nothin) ROXY: (but heck if it makes u feel better) ROXY: (the space egg wasnt rly 4 u it was 4 all the little trollings that need to be born) ROXY: (skewering the batterwitch was definitely 4 me and earth and stuff) ROXY: (and the lipstick is to thank u for takin such good care of my mom :D)

Dont you mean your Rose?

KANAYA: (... That Does Make Me Feel Slightly Better) ROXY: (so youll take it??) KANAYA: (Okay) ROXY: (hella) KANAYA: (Thank You) KANAYA: (Again) ROXY: (dont mention it!)

She will likely mention this many times.

WEll that was the end for their interaction I suppose, so it seems like we get one page of another interaction then? I guess Dirk and Jake.

Ohp, yep. Jeez they look awkward.

DIRK: (... So.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (...) DIRK: (That was some fight, huh.)

Goddammit this is awkward.

JAKE: (Oh yes that sure was a doozy of a brawl we all just participated in.) JAKE: (Or rather multiple brawls.) DIRK: (I think you’re probably up to speed on exactly how well mine went.) JAKE: (Um.) JAKE: (Should i be?) DIRK: (Nevermind.)

Just another beheading of good ol’ Dirk. Seems like that’s a common thing for him.

((OhOFOHSANSIJFN HOLY SHIT I PRESSED A BUTTON AND FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT I ALMOST DELETED EVERYTHING I WROTE DAMMIT TUMBLR GIVE ME WARNINGS))

JAKE: (Sorry... its just difficult to, uh...) DIRK: (Don’t be sorry. It doesn’t actually matter.) JAKE: (The important part is you won right?) DIRK: (Yeah...) DIRK: (How did yours go?) DIRK: (If you feel like sharing, that is.) JAKE: (Oh i won too!) DIRK: (Well. Obviously.) DIRK: (I meant... like.) DIRK: (Specifically, HOW you won.) DIRK: (I’d be down to hear some details of all the kickassery you've been dishing out.) DIRK: (That must've been pretty crazy solo.)

Come ONNNN guys, quit dancing around the topic here. Somethings bothering you and its making everything shitty.

JAKE: (Oh.) JAKE: (Well i wasnt alone for long actually.) JAKE: (In fact it was quite the clusterfuck of skeletons sprites and green goblin brutes!) JAKE: (That crabby troll fellow even showed up at one point.) JAKE: (He seemed to be having a difficult time with one of the tinier rascals but i was up to my ears in fracas and fisticuffs myself and couldnt really lend him a hand.)

Dammit Karkat. I love him, but god he’s adorably pathetic in fights.

DIRK: (It looks like he’s alright, so no harm done.) DIRK: (How many of those green dudes were there again?) JAKE: (Im fairly certain there were 14.) DIRK: (And you trounced all of them?) JAKE: (Actually k...carat dealt with one of them i think.) JAKE: (They were small but a decidedly tricky foe. It was scurrying around so fast i dont think a single one of my bullets even grazed it!)

He has ALLLL the luck Jake, ALL of it! Honestly, can we get a Vriska/Clover battle?

DIRK: (Well, shit. Sounds tough.) DIRK: (Still, my score reads "Jake: 13, Goblins: 0".) DIRK: (Oh, and I’m pretty sure the name you’re looking for is Karkat.) JAKE: (Is that so?) DIRK: (Yup.) JAKE: (My mistake then...) DIRK: (Don’t worry about it.)

Dammit Jake, don’t be so fucking hard on yourself. I feel bad for him now. Like, he’s beating himself up over not knowing a complete strangers name.

JAKE: (Have you spoken to him at all yet?) DIRK: (Nah.) JAKE: (Would you like to?) DIRK: (I guess? Sure.) DIRK: (He and Dave seem to be in the middle of something, though. No point in interrupting.) DIRK: (Besides, I’m talking to you right now.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (...)

(...)

Alright dammit, I guess we’ll see if they get over whatever’s bugging them in the next update, because that’s the last page. Seeya next time and whatnot folks.

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act omega #act omega liveblog #hs act omega #hs act omega liveblog

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

Text

Survey #85

“so you can throw me to the wolves; tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack.”

when was the last time you saw the person you like? february what are you listening to? markiplier playing "scp containment breach." going on a nostalgia binge. would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? nope. tyler wasn't for me. are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? rape and abortion. have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? no. would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? i'd be fucking pissed. not out of jealousy, but because it's lustful and just generally disgusting. your last ex calls wanting to hangout, what do you say? probably "stop fucking harassing me." do you have a friend named ashley? no, but that's my older sister's name. are you an aunt or an uncle? yep. did you use to watch blues clues? of course. are you a twilight fan? i never was. when’s the last time you threw up? couple weeks ago. one of my pills makes me sick sometimes. do you stutter when you get nervous? terribly. what is your favorite superhero movie? "ghost rider," if you count him. do you think that aliens exist? no. do you own a pair of converses? i've got a few. do you regret your last relationship? i sure do. do you plan on having children in the future? currently, no. i really don't think i'm capable of raising another human being efficiently. when did you last go to the doctor and what for? i went to my therapy appointment a few days ago. are you socially awkward? agonizingly would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? horror if you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose? dragon what is your favorite animal and why? meerkats. they're adorable, unspeakably brave and loyal, and so curious. do you find yourself on youtube a lot? it's always open. what is something that reminds you of your childhood? dinosaurs what show do you miss coming on television? "meerkat manor" :( have you ever tried opening your eyes under water? yeah. don't like doing it though. have you ever been admitted to the hospital? five times. do you have a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder? a bit. i used to have baaad repetitive thought cycles when i was younger. do you use any acne medication? nah. i don't really get acne anymore. if you’re offered a trip to either hawaii or alaska which would you choose? alaska what cause (feminism, gay rights, abortion, etc) are you most passionate about? the pro-life movement how much money have you saved by shop lifting? what the fuck?! i don't shoplift to begin with. wtf. do you hate when couples are like “i love you” after dating for about 2 days? it's ignorant as fuck to say, yes. those are dangerous fucking words. have you ever run away? yes. ever been attacked by a dog? no. my little sister has, though. i'm pretty sure she still has the scar. ever had an out-of-body experience? no. ever considered acupuncture? noooo. do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? PSYCHOLOGICAL do you have a favorite youtuber? or do you not watch much youtube? rhett&link + markplier are my literal babes. who do you text the most? or do you like to text at all? sara. do you like ronnie james dio? \m/, motherfucker. ever given a tattoo before? would you like to? no. i have tremors, so that'd be a terrible idea. have you ever had a pet bird? no. do you have any siblings that you never seen before? one half-sister, yes. have you ever heard a song that made you cry? most notably johnny cash's version of "hurt." the first time i listened to it, i couldn't help but cry. like i know it's a cover, but his version just personifies pain. do you like the show “that 70s show”? it's probably like my second-favorite show. it's fucking hysterical. has your house ever been broken in to? thank god no. the bloods tried to break into our old house though while my older sister and her old best friend were home alone. they were terrified. do you listen to blink-182? some of their songs are great, sure. i like a couple. do you listen to nirvana? sometimes. what thumb do you use to hit the space bar with? my right. do you like regular or chocolate milk better? chocolate growing up, did you listen to country music? not usually by will, but i did regardless. my older sister usually controlled the radio and such. if i wanted to listen to music on my own time, it was usually mainstream pop. do you have a gazebo at your house? no do you like tomatoes? nooo. what type of waffles do you like? (plain, blueberry etc..) plain do you like chicken or beef better? or do you not eat meat? i prefer chicken. did america really put a man on the moon? yes. have you ever dated outside of your race? for less than a day. were you born in a hospital, or somewhere else? in a hospital. who is your favorite male singer? patrick stump from fall out boy. do you listen to any acoustic bands, or singers? not specifically. what is your birthstone? amethyst do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? just go to the drive-thru. i mean, isn't that the point of a fast food restaurant, to get food quickly and easily? do you like chinese food over pizza? nope. if someone you know offered you pot, what would you say? well first, i'd say no, and two, i'd most likely dissociate from that person. i in no way get involved with drugs. have you ever been to a strip club? hell no. how was/is the food in the cafeteria at your school? some were actually pretty decent, others were hellish. what is your favorite song? "do i wanna know?" by the arctic monkeys what do you think of the name courtney? i like it. do you have a wild side? not really, honestly. ever gone boating all day? i've been on a boat while fishing most of the day, but not like, all day. what is your favorite thing about going to your grandma’s house? honestly? nothing. i don't even get along with my grandma. do you like eggs? only if they're scrambled and cheesy. who are your heroes? mark fischbach and my mom. do you know who rodney atkins is? i live in the south, buddy. take a guess. are you tall? no. when is the last time you wore a dress? my sister's wedding. what is the last alcoholic beverage you’ve had? a strawberry smirnoff. do you know someone that smiles ALL the time? no. that'd be freaky. who is the hottest person alive? link neal, boys and girls. are you ready for summer? hell no. i hate everything about summer. do you like the sun or do you like snow better? snow!! don’t you love pancakes? hell ye boi. quick name a country singer: tim mcgraw. the only one i sincerely like. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? family. ever had fruit pizza? ew, no. fruit doesn't belong on pizza. do you know anyone named caleb? i'm acquainted with one. he's cool. how many friends do you have on facebook? around 110, i think a little more? what was on the last sandwich you ate? peanut butter. what sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? the same stuff i listen to now: heavy metal. i went through a phase where i listened to even heavier, more emo-styled bands, though. what is your favorite thai dish? never tried any. how many contacts do you have in your phone? i think like 15, lol. when was the last time you made out with somebody? around a year and a half. what month of the year was your mother born? august. how many apps do you have on your phone? only four. my phone doesn't have a lot of memory. have you ever dated a smoker? if not, would you? i haven't, and no, i honestly wouldn't. would you rather travel to japan or scotland? hmmmm... i THINK japan, but i'm honestly unsure. what is your mother’s first name? donna. do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? yes. have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area? it's possible i guess, but i don't think so. how would you label your sexual orientation? heterosexual do you consider your goals easily achievable or are they pretty grand? eh, kinda in-between... my only real goal is to be a photographer, but the photography industry is SUPER competitive. what’s your favorite vegetable? broccoli is yummy. especially with cheese. would you rather eat italian or indian food? italian have you ever missed a flight? no. can you name five adjectives describing you? passionate, shy, sleepy, nervous, and loyal. do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex? a bit long. what is your favorite soda? mountain dew what is your opinion on legalizing drugs? you are honestly naive if you believe that's a good idea. no offense. do you like country music? no. have you ever done something illegal more than once? yes. if you could marry any celebrity, who would it be? mark fischbach omg can you swim? yes. what are your fears? pregnancy/childbirth, closed spaces, being alone in the end, long-legged spiders, the ocean, whale sharks, maggots/larvae, other things... do you shave your arms even though it supposedly grows back thick? no. do you ever get too lazy to clean up your pet’s pee and leave it for your parents to do it? i clean my dog's pee because he's my responsibility. if cali pees, i tell mom. bentley, i tell nicole. what insects or bugs do you fear most? rhino beetles and wasps do you think weed is just as bad as cigarettes? it's fact that it's worse. it has more carcinogens. don’t you just love free samples? obviously. are you someone’s best friend? no. have you ever used alternative medicine or old-fashioned remedies? i don't think so. what color and style is your hair? it's red, but with overgrown roots. do you wear glasses? yeah. do you want kids? no. there's just no way i'd be able to properly take care of a kid. what if you were in a fire and you could only save one object, what would it be? i'm guessing family and pets are already safe? then in that case, my laptop. what if you could ask god any one question, what would it be? "why do people who aren't sure whether or not they believe in you go to hell?" what if you found a suitcase full of $1,000,000, what would you do? honestly, i'd look for identification. i just couldn't take that much money with a good conscience. what if you had to choose, would you give up your sight or your hearing? sight. i couldn't live in total silence. what if you saw a robbery, would you report it? obviously??? what if you were given a chance to go to the moon, would you go? why or why not? no. i don't want to be in space that long. what if your friend could not have a child, would you carry her child for her? honestly, no. my 1st job was: game stop sales clerk favorite dog breed: hmmm. i really really like akita inus. papillons, too. assuming you had the cash to make it happen, what would your ideal living situation be at this point in your life (i.e. with who, where, under what circumstances, etc.)? how does your ideal compare to your current situation? i don't have anyone i'd like to live with besides who i do now, but i know i'd really like a wood house in the woods by a waterfall. it'd be different from where i live now, definitely. we live right beside a road that leads to a small town. if someone were to travel to your city (assuming they have never been there before), what would you tell them to visit? is your city (or the closest larger city to you) a big tourist area at all? lmao there's nothing to really visit. and no. if, as a parent of a teenager, you knew that your teenage daughter was having sex/thinking about having sex, would you put her on birth control pills? do you agree or disagree with those who say that placing teenagers on the pill encourages promiscuous sex? if you’re on the pill, how old were you when you went on it? if you’re not, have you ever considered taking it? i'd be pretty heavily trying to influence her to not have sex as a teen, but if that's what she really wanted, yes, i'd put her on the pill. i don't believe it encourages promiscuous sex, no. i was put on the pill when i was like... maybe 16, but only due to severe period cramps. what is the worst example of poverty you have seen in person? does this make you feel guilty at all (say, for throwing out food that you didn’t finish)? the saddest thing i saw, actually recently, was a pregnant woman with her husband in the pouring rain with just a small umbrella and a sign. can't remember what it said, honestly, but it was depressing. and of course i feel guilty. do you look at sex as a special thing that is shared with someone you love, or do you treat sex more casually? if you are a virgin, are you waiting for the right person to come along, or do you have religious/moral reasons to wait? it is 100% something special you share with hopefully one person. and i'm waiting for both reasons. do you unfriend people on facebook who post endless status updates or seem to be begging for attention? what about family members or coworkers – are you comfortable accepting their friend requests? is there anything on your facebook that could potentially cause trouble for you if someone were to see it? if you're fishing for attention, hell yes i do. i don't put up with that. and i take invites from family, yes. but i guess my use of profanity could cause some nasty looks from some of my family, particularly my grandma. when you have a significant other, are you honest about everything with that person, or do you think that there are some things better left unsaid? do you want your significant other to be willing to tell you anything and everything as well? i'm entirely open. and yes. grossest memory: that one time my late lizard pooped aaall over my hands and shirt. i nearly puked. what do you think of "abstinence"? it's the safest option for everyone. don’t you just hate preachers? uhhh, nooo...? does a mango smoothie sound good to you now? omgggg yaaaas what’s something that you find trashy? very short shorts. cover your ass, please. crayons or markers? crayons would you rather receive roses or sunflowers? roses. do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? honestly, i'm always in my pajamas unless i have to go somewhere. mints or chewing gum? gum. at one point of your life, have you been obsessed with dinosaurs or robots? dinosaurs, yes. i was obsessed as a kid. i still think they're cool. have you ever been in a car accident? yes. are you afraid of stink bugs? yeah, they look freaky. are you interested in anime? somewhat, sure. name your favorite cartoon. pokemon are you afraid of the dentist? nah. do you believe in abortion? no. have you ever tried jolly rancher candy canes? YUUUUM, yes ;v; do you go hunting? no. what is your biggest accomplishment in life so far? recovering. do documentaries bore you? if they're about animals, no. are you usually happy or sad most of the time? happy, as of the late. (: are you afraid of spiders? most, yes. what is your most prized possession? the plaque i have for graduating in the very top percentage of my class. do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? closed. have you ever peed in the woods? no. ever used a gun? no. who would you like to see in concert? METALLICA, PLSSSSSS what’s your second favorite color? pink do you know any african spiritual songs? no. what kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? mustard and ketchup. what’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person? jason breaking up with me. what’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak? again, jason leaving. who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today? myself? what is one thing you feel your life is missing? adventure, definitely. action. which blink-182 song do you think is the most depressing? that i know? "i miss you." what color lights are on your christmas tree? we use colorful ones every year. are there hurricanes where you live? yep. have you ever been to a rehab center? i guess that depends on what you mean by "rehab center." never a place exclusively to get off drugs, no. but the mental hospitals i've been to doubled as detox centers. which was remarkably stupid. you don't treat mental illness patients the same as patients going through detox??? what’s your favorite flavor of ramen? i don't like ramen. have you ever been given an ink blot test? if so, what did you see in it? in a therapy thing, yes actually. and i mean, lots of things? i was shown various things. are you friends with someone who is a stoner? no. wait, yes actually. but we don't really talk much anymore. do you like playing shooting games at the arcade? nah. how long have you lived in the house you live in? only like two months. where did you lose your virginity, if you have? n/a what color car(s) do your parents drive? i think dad's is black, mom's is white. what are your views on getting rid of the penny? i don't really care. which asian country would you most like to visit? japan have you ever had a nosebleed? hasn't everyone at one point or another? do you have bangs? no. have you ever kissed someone underneath mistletoe? i don't think so. do you have a weak stomach? no. which website do you spend the most time on? youtube. it's always open/i'm always listening to something, usually let's plays. have you ever kissed someone of a different race? he kissed me, i didn't kiss him. do you read fanfiction? if so, what fandoms? no, actually. would you go back to your ex if he/she asked you? tyler, definitely not. jason, not right away. he'd definitely have to prove himself to me again. do you like stars, or hearts better? hearts mickey mouse, or winnie the pooh? pooh! where is the best place to get ice cream? coldstone, brother.

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