#it really does feel like waching horror at times

[navree]

horror 🤝 historical dramas, having the audience know right out the gate that something bad is coming and there's nothing that can be done to stop it or change it

[barelyalivebutnotdead]

Chaos

[The bat-brothers: Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian sitting at the dining table in the Wayne Manor. They all sit in chairs lines up, facing the Fanon version of themselves: 'Perceptions']

Tim: (reluctantly) So, these guys are our 'perceptions'?

Dick: (nodding, slightly uncomfortable) Yeah, Zatanna said she will drop by once she has figured out to fix this without collapsing the multiverse in on itself.

Tim: (gulps and points at Fanon!Tim sitting directly opposite to him) Why do I- I mean, why does he look like that?

[Cut to Fanon!Tim with sunken cheekbones, pale skin, skinny frame and dark, chapped lips. He looks undernourished and his eyes are laden with dark circles from sleep deprivation. He looks like a zombie.]

: readmore:

Tim: (whispering to his brothers to not offend the Fanon versions) He looks like a zombie...

Dick: (speechless)

Damian: (Smirks) That's the vibe you emit, Drake. Face the truth.

Jason: (also speechless, raised eyebrows, regrets life and death decisions that led up to this moment.)

Dick: (has the most optimistic 'wtf' look on his face looking at Fanon!Dick)

[Cut to Fanon!Dick sitting on the chair with a huge, 440-watt smile. He looks like the himbo version of a dog wagging his tail.]

Dick: (in both wonder and bemusement) I swear I can see rainbows and sunshine in his eyes...

[Dick internally wonders where Fanon!Dick got the childlike innocence from, considering his sanity has been crumbling for a long, long time now]

[THUMP!]

[Cut to Fanon!Tim faceplanting on the table. Jason looks like he regrets coming back to life. Tim is unsure what to do. Damian's eye is twitching from being around the Fanon imbeciles. Dick is this close to giving up on everything.]

Fanon!Jason: Oh no, baby bird! (Worriedly goes to Fanon!Tim and lifts his head)

[Fanon!Damian sits with hands folded and a scowl, in Fanon!Dick's lap, who hold him very dearly]

Jason: What the fuck?

Tim: What the fuck?

[Fanon!Jason lifts Fanon!Tim's head to reveal a... Less than pleasant face]

Fanon!Tim: (in a very scratchy, weak voice) Coff- coughs -fee! (and then THUMPS on the table head-first, again.)

[Fanon!Jason catches ahold of Fanon!Dick by the collar and gets into his face]

Fanon!Jason: You weren't a good brother to me and now you can't even take care of my Timmy?!

[He huffs and leaps for the kitchen to make coffee.]

[Dick facepalms, he cannot see this. Jason flinches in fear of Alfred's swear jar each time he hears Fanon!Jason swear from the kitchen. Tim buried his face into his hands and slumps against the table, he wishes to disappear and never face reality again. Damian is already reaching for his sword.]

Fanon!Damian: (scoffs) Let the imbecile die. A pathetic soul like his deserves a pathetic death like this.

Damian: (he stands on the table wielding the sword to Fanon!Damian's throat, eyes raging green) What the hell did you just say?!

Fanon!Dick and Canon!Dick: Shut up, Damian! (Who said that to which Damian, I'll let you decide)

[Dick and Tim pull Damian back from killing the Fanon!Damian, fearing that killing them would cause something to go wrong in the multiverse]

[Fanon!Jason returns from the kitchen with a tray in which he decorated a large mug of coffee, a flower vase and a bowl of hot soup.]

Dick: (In astonishment and disbelief) Jason?

[Fanon!Jason doesn't answer him. He goes and sits by Fanon!Tim and sets down the mug of coffee. Then, with cooing words, feeds Fanon!Tim the soup, gently.]

Jason: Where's my crowbar.

Dick: (Lets out he most tired sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose, others are unsure whether he is frustrated over Jason's crowbar or the Fanons.)

Tim: (Turns to Damian with an earnest, pained expression) Damian, kill me before this is embedded into my memory forever.

Damian: (takes a breath and turns to Tim, his voice polite, soft and genuine. Vicarious pain and embarassment flashing in his eyes) I hate this too, Drake. Believe me, I really do. But since this hurts you more than it hurts me, (In the same soft, genuine, polite voice but evilly dramatic tone) suffer.

[Dick looks at Fanon!Dick, somehow glowing with childlike happiness.]

Dick: I wonder how he is so happy?

Alfred: Sirs? It is time for Dinner.

[The boys all get up and help in setting the table. Chaos ensues]

Jason: I'll get the plates. Tim? Get the caserols.

[A very 'undead' Tim walks in, dragging his feet and hunching over with slumped shoulders.]

Fanon!Tim: (Groans) Coffeee!

[Despite having met death, Jason backs away from Fanon!Tim for the fear of God knows what. He watches in a moment of sheer patience Jason didn't know he had as Fanon!Tim streches for the coffee jar on the top shelf, knocks it off as he collapses and proceeds to shove the raw coffee grounds into his mouth. Jason slowly backs away from him.]

Jason: (to Tim, visibly shaken up) I'm not going near that Tim, you shouldn't either.

Tim: (Putting down the caseroles a little lazily) Is that what my 'perception' is? A zombie looking Edward Cullen who survives on coffee and (shudders, refering to when Fanon!Jason fed Fanon!Tim soup.) That.

Jason: I'm going to get Zatanna to erase my memory of this event.

Tim: Yeah, call me too.

[Fanon!Damian sits atop of Fanon!Dick's shoulders, carrying a bunch of spoons while Fanon!Dick walks with glasses in his hands, laughing with Damian while he growls in return]

Dick: (thinks, Should I try to be as happy as him? Then looks down to see Damian watching in stoic horror as Fanon!Damian begins acting like a baby.)

Dick: (Opens his mouth to express his thoughts)

Damian: (Looks up at Dick and squints into a mini-bat-glare before Dick has the chance to say something) Grayson, I know what you are thinking. If you ever try to manhandle me like a baby, you will lose an organ.

Fanon!Tim: (Walks by shoving a handful of coffee grounds into his mouth) I hope it's a spleen. We'll have something in common to talk about then.

[Both Damian and Dick are thorougly spooked.]

Fanon!Jason: (Quivering out of anger at Fanon!Tim's broken, sad, lonely tone) Your fault, Dick!

[Dick gulps wondering if the Fanon!UniverseJason ever got out of the pit madness.]

Jason: (In a tone more broken, hopeless and sad tone than Fanon!Tim's) Why...

[Everyone sits for dinner. Alfred serves]

[Fanon!Dick suddenly gets up, walks up to Fanon!Damian and hugs him. Fanon!Damian responds with a bite. The he goes and hugs Fanon!Jason, he responds by shoving Fanon!Dick away, grumbling about how cruel he was to Tim. Finally, he goes to Fanon!Tim and gives him a hug. He is too busy chugging more coffee to respond.)

[Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are exasperated, to put it simply.]

[Dick slumps onto the table. Jason finally pulls out his crowbar. Tim crumbles upon himself. Damian closes his eyes in an attemp to not lose whatever is left of his sanity.]

Dick, Jason and Damin: (in unison) I wish I had stayed dead than waching this.

Tim: (feels more nightmares of Jason coming to his nights.)

Author's note: Okay, I admit, this may not be as funny as I meant it to be but... I can suck, you know? Besides, this may be terrible but in a universe with the CW's PowerPuff Girls script, it cannot objectively be the worst. And yes, I categorize this as a shitpost.

Sorry for creating this, but I had fun.

[naanima]

This is the promised Ultimate Note (UN) // 终极笔记 rec post, but also honestly just a sincere post of love to the series.

UN is a 36 episodes series that covers the books 4 to 7 of the DMBJ/Lost Tomb book series. Yes, it covers FOUR (4) books over 36 episodes. None of this 40+ episodes covering ONE (1) book bullshit. This means that you won’t have to put up with literal 30+ episodes of fucking filler, pointless romance, and NO drama only characters taking up 50% of the fucking screen time.

What UN is, is that it is a tightly paced, actually decently scripted series, not too badly acted series that’s SINCERE and ADHERE to the major plot points of the DMBJ series. You can tell EVERYONE in the production had great respect and love for the original. The script writers, the set designers and the actors all did their homework. They read the books, studied and what was finally realised on the screen brought me nearly in tears and definite squee. Because fucking fuck, FINALLY, a live adaptation of the DMBJ books that’s good and faithful to the plot and the characters and the core of the series.

Okay, now onto the details of why I love this series so:

The CHARACTERS and their RELATIONSHIPS with EATH OTHER! The Iron Triangle here is new, and at the beginning of the series it isn’t 100% trust yet, but it deepens and strengthens through the series. And it is fucking beautiful watching them trust each with their lives.

Xiaoge – people, this is the Xiaoge of my heart. He bleeds, he fears, and he has so much vulnerability. And despite of it all he is brave, loyal and so very beautiful. He is ethereal! But seriously, he comes across finally as human, instead of a paper cut-out with not depth. Xiaoge has feelings, and they aren’t just about Wu Xie for fuck’s sake. But also, I FINALLY have seen the light that’s the greatness and hotness of Xiaoge. I FUCKING THIRST.

Wu Xie – FINALLY, a Wu Xie who is allowed to be imperfect, a Wu Xie who is normal, who is young and reckless but so fucking brilliant. He has so much anger which he is finally allowed to express here, because yes, he deserves to express his anger and displeasure at the way his life has been manipulated, the way he has to navigate this minefield while family won’t/can’t tell him the truth. It was fucking cathartic and so very fucking satisfying.

Pang Zi – OMFG! PANG ZI! FINALLY. A super fucking competent Pang Zi who is good with his money, sees through the bullshit to reach the heart of the problem. He comes up with the bluntest plans but the plans that work, he can be a leader when the situations calls for it. And he is just fucking amazing.

I LOVE how, each member of the Iron Triangle have a relationship with each other. That Wu Xie and Pangzi’s relationship ISN’T dependent on Wu Xie. The love and bond between Xiaoge and Wu Xie runs deep and it is fucking strong. JUST FUCKING YES.

A-Ning is actually MORE than a sex-dream for men here. She has a PERSONALITY, her own MOTIVATION. She is not set up as a love interest for Wu Xie. I’m so fucking thankful. Like, FUCKING FINALLY.

Sanshu is both uncle and fucking dick. Which honestly is the best portrayal of him. But it is Er Shu who is fucking amazing, I don’t want to say anything else beyond what a terrifying motherfucker.

And Heiye and Xiaohua!!!!!! AHHHHHHH! They are both such fucking badasses. Xiahua here is smart, competent and will go for the jugular. Heiye acts like he has got a few screws loose except when he is kicking ass and we get flashes of the dude beneath the dumbass act. And Xiaohu and Heiye’s back and forth is fucking amazing – you will laugh and you will have your heart clench.

The Sets

GUYS, THEY TRAVELLED TO ACTUAL PHYSICAL LOCATIONS – fucking insane natural mountains, deserts, forests and so much more. Their built sets are beautiful and so amazing, while the CGI isn’t the best (apparently their budget was tiny) but they spent it on the things that mattered. It is FUCKING GLORIOUS.

The PLOT

I love the plot, for once, a DMBJ adaptation that has a COHERENT and TIGHT plot with AMAZING pacing. What is amazing is the fact the scriptwriters integrated information from other books, side stories and fan theories in order to create a tapestry that links EVERYTHING together and makes sense of the fucking mess that has been the previous adaptations. What this means is that it lead to character and story depth, and the viewer is introduced to a sense if history and lived in world. It is beautiful and amazing.

 OTHER STUFF

The New Moon Hotel episodes were fucking beautiful. The pace and tension was intense and just heart pounding good.

The fights are really good. Barring the first third which had too much quick edits.

 THE NOT SO GOOD

Look, some of the actors are young and some of the earlier episodes they are a bit green. But as the series progress their acting improves.

The intrusive bgm, which I personally found super annoying. However, it does disappear in the latter half.

 In conclusion, if you want a new C-drama that’s tightly scripted, decently acted with pretty people, good action with hints of horror, comedy and some truly A++++ friendships. THEN GO WACH ULTIMATE NOTE!

Oh, and of course you can watch this and walk away SHIPPING Wu Xie and Xiaoge, Heiye and Xiaohua.

At the end of the nearly 1k words of love I’m gonna go vids for this show now.

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

Promises We Can’t Keep

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Implied smut, a bit of cursing( I don’t know if I should tag that) Challenge: Bailey’s Birthday Challnge by @jayankles Prompt: 9x08 - Between a Rock and a Hard Place Word Count: 2.117 A/N: I had no internet and couldn’t wach the episode so this fic is based on the Supernatural Wiki page and transcripts so sorrynotsorry if stuff is not 100% accurate, I kinda had to guess their reactions but I think I did okay. Thanks to Bailey for letting me participate in this awesome challenge. Reminded me a lot of the oldschool fanfiction I used to write (it’s still out there. 50 chapters of absolute horror) Also huge hanks for the bilionth time to @queen-fierfly Enjoy :D

“We hope you enjoyed the tour!” Bonnie smiled brightly “Any questions before we get you guys registered?” The two, humongous –if I said so myself- men looked at each other. The taller one, long hair reaching bellow his ears, grazing his jawline, cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah, uh, look, um, Ms. Futchko-“Boy, was he awkward.

“Oh please,” Bonnie smiled again “Bonnie will do just fine” Ugh, I hated her.

Who would’ve known I’d have ended up in a church, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in a town where random people disappeared and instead of actually interrogating witnesses, took a friggin tour. The two poor bastards that were supposedly interested in the tour, two mountain-tall men with beautiful eyes, didn’t know what they had coming to them if they became part of that church.

“Bonnie. Okay, uhm, we… we love the church. We do, but… Well, we heard that a few members have gone missing, and, to be honest… that kinda scares us” I held back a snort. ‘Kinda scares us,’ puh-lease, don’t make me laugh. You’re 50 feet tall and more built than the majority of America’s population, who are you kidding dude.

The slightly shorter man, clad in flannel, just like the Tall one who was either his brother or… boyfriend –it would be a shame, really-, shot me a look, eyebrow raised. His bright eyes searched mine for an indication of… something. He didn’t find it. In response, I chewed my mint gum obnoxiously and shrugged in a ‘me? I didn’t say anything.’ manner. He smiled knowingly.

“Let me assure you, with our increased security, ‘Good Faith’, has never been safer.” She tried to be reassuring, but you could see her almost panic that she’d lose us. She reminded me of those horrible infomercials that lasted 10 minutes and made you want to break the tv “And those people who have gone missing, well, they are front and center in our prayers.”

“Amen,” I feigned relief and smiled as hopefully as I could muster. The Short one nodded in agreement.

“What a relief. Now, you must’ve been, uh, close to them” Something smelled fishy with these two.

“Well, we do share the A.P.U. bond.”

“The what now?” I butted in.

“Our chastity group, “Abstinence Purifies Us” “

Oh boy.

“Oh.” The Tall one said “W-wow. You mind if we sit in on that, maybe see if it’s for us?” He asked kindly.

“Oh, I want in too! Sounds like fun.” Everyone glanced at me. I shrunk back a little.

“I’m afraid it’s members only. I’m sorry, it can get pretty personal.” Her lips pursed and her orange curls bounced a little.

“Then count us in”

“Me too” I grinned. This time my grin was partially true. I realized what was up with the two men.

They were hunters.

How did I not realize earlier?! Built, fading scars on every part of skin that saw the light of day, jumpy and wary, scanning the area as if something would jump them any second now. Jeez, I was oblivious.

“Well, I’ll be a squirrel in a skirt, I’ll be back in a jiff with the papers” Bonnie grinned and ran out the office, pulling papers from a large filing cabinet.

“Okay, what’s your deal?” The shorter one turned n his seat to ask me.

“Excuse me?” I feigned shock and hurt.

“Come on, sweetheart, we’re not dumb, drop the act” I ignored the shiver that traveled down my spine when he used the pet-name.

“Fine” I scoffed “we’re all hunters here, and I’m not very happy you’re ruining my investigation by the way, but I’ll let it slide for once and we’ll work together, sound good? Okay” With an eye-roll, I dropped back on my chair not leaving any room for argument. They looked slightly taken back before recomposing themselves.

“Great,” Green-Eyes scoffed.

“I’m Sam” The Tall one offered his hand “That’s my brother, Dean” he motioned with his head to Green-Eyes as I shook his hand. Sam seemed nice, I thought as his huge paw drowned mine. Dean was hot, but something told me he wasn’t particularly excited of me joining them.

“Brothers, huh? I was betting on couple, but what do you know” I shrugged, mirthfully watching Sam and Dean’s eyes widen a fraction “Y/n” I pulled away and sat back down.

“So wait, a chastity group?” Dean decided to ignore my comment.

“Dean, listen, if all the members were in A.P.U., then maybe whatever took them is stalking virgins” Sam’s glance danced from me to his brother.

“And the Slim guy said he saw fire.—“

“You went to that scumbag too? What a prick” Sam shot me a questioning look “He tried to grope my ass” I rolled my eyes. “so, what are you thinking, dragons?”

Dean hummed

“Shh,” Sam hushed upon seeing the stupidly happy redhead enter the office.

“All righty” Bonnie handed us clipboards and pens “You can just sign here and your purification can begin” She leaned against her desk.

“Purity pledge?” I read questioningly

“It’s a commitment to your virginity”, She said seriously.

“Uhh… About that…” I trailed off

“I don’t think we can really un-ring that bell. You know what I mean?” Eloquent, I thought, giving Bonnie that ‘woops’ look. She looked both at Dean and I quite shocked.

“Oh, I see. Well, if you ask for God’s forgiveness for your sins and make a new vow of chastity, well, then you’ll be born again as a virgin in his eyes” She smiled brightly, having found the solution to our problem.

“So, wait, you just hit the virginity “do-over” button and it’s all good with the man upstairs?” Well, how ‘bout that. All my problems are solved. I laughed inwardly

“It’s not a button.” I have a feeling she doesn’t like me very much “And this isn’t just a piece of paper” She gestured at our clipboards “I mean, this is your clean slate, your chance to be a virgin until marriage” Well that certainly won’t happen soon.

“Well, you had me at ‘clean slate’. Let’s do this” Dean smiled charmingly and we all signed our names at the bottom of the page.

“Congratulations guys. You’re all officially virgins”

“Oh boy” I muttered as Sam and Dean ‘ah’-ed lightly as if sharing and inside joke. Something told me Dean wasn’t gonna hold on to his ‘clean slate’ for long. Something told I wasn’t either. His charming smiles and flirting comments indicated he was no short of a womanizer. Either that or he was just really insecure and tried to cover it up but the way I saw him check out Bonnie’s ass as she walked away and ushered us out of the office, I wouldn’t really count on the latter.

“Oh, by the way,” Bonnie said, making us spin around to face her. “the meeting starts in an hour.”

And so the boys and I killed our time over coffee and a snack in the nearest diner, exchanging stories. Dean would often stare at me for longer than what’s considered normal. And either Sam nudged him, to which when he glanced back at me I’d wink or smile or something of the sorts, or he’d just snap out of it.

I found myself really interested in the Winchesters. These, seemingly completely normal, Titan-heighted men had been through hell and back and then through hell again and they were standing in front of me, entirely sane, two damn heroes that had saved humanity’s asses more times than I could count. Of course in the little time we spent at the diner, they didn’t brag about their achievements. I kinda forced it out of them.

Sixty minutes passed quickly and we found ourselves seated in a circle that reminded me a whole lot of the Hollywood version of group therapy.

I was thinking this while everyone in the room prayed. Apart from me and Dean of course. I was looking up from my lashes, inspecting the space and the girls around me, all mid-twenties maybe early thirties. I wondered what pushed them to want to be part of the virgins-till-marriage club.

I saw Sam nudging Dean and motion for him to pretend to pray. Dean rolled his eyes and then closed them. I did the same, waiting for the cue to open them.

“Amen.” A woman with chin-length wavy blonde hair said, I think her name is Suzy, picking her head up. “Now, does anyone have anything that they would like to share?”

“I wrote a new piece of verse!” another girl got up excitedly “It’s called sex is a racket, and God’s ball is in your court” She grinned and took a deep breath, ready to start talking

“Aand we would love to hear that Tammy- later” Tammy sighed and sat back down, slightly disappointed. “Why don’t we hear from our new friends? Sam, what brought you here to reclaim your virginity?” Sam, rendered a bit speechless and not knowing what to say, subconsciously waved his hands around in that questioning I-don’t-know-what-to-say-or-do-in-this-situation-help motion. His mouth opened in an o shape. He reminded me of a fish a little.

“Uh, well, I guess because every woman I’ve… ever… had relations with, uh… it… hasn’t ended well” poor bastard. Something told me it went past ‘didn’t end well’. Everyone nodded along. Dean chuckled.

“He ain’t lyin’” Sam pursed his lips again and bitch faced Dean. His older brother seemed unphased.

“Thank you for being here, Sam. Stay strong, stay pure” Suzy replied and suddenly the entire circle in sync stated “Stay Strong. Stay Pure” like they were chanting a conjuration.

“How about you, Y/n?” Suzy smiled warmly.

“Uh… I have tough parents. Let’s just say they weren’t really happy when they found out I popped my cherry and well… here I am” I shrugged impassively. “And you, Dean?” I smirked. “Tell us your story”

“Yeah, Dean” Suzy encouraged “Tell us why you came here.” She seemed hungry to hear his voice.

Dean shot a small glare at my triumphant smile, before squaring up his shoulders. “Uh, hard to say, exactly. Yeah. Sex has always felt, I don’t know, good, you know? I mean really, really good.” He looked around, realizing who he was talking to. “Uh… But, uh… Sometimes it just makes you feel bad, you know?” I could see the wheels in his head spinning, trying to find a good, believable enough story. A lie. “You’re drunk, you shuck up.” He smiles “Then it’s the whole morning thing. You know, ‘hey that was fun’ and then ‘adios’, you know? Always the ‘adios’” He looked wistful.

“But you know, when you get down to it, what’s the big deal, right?” Then he turned and stared at me, a small ghost of a smirk forming on his lips. “I mean, sure, there’s the touching and the feeling of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body, the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling…” his bright green eyes were so intense, challenging me to say or do anything. “… grinding” All the women started shifting uncomfortably, toying with their papers, watching him, probably trying not to drop their panties on the floor and beg him to take them right then and there. The asshole knew it but continued anyways. He was trying to get a reaction from me. “Then you hit that sweet spot, and everything just builds and builds until it all just-“ Dean made an explosion noise with his mouth and Tammy’s paper being crunched between her hands echoed in the room. That, along with his brother’s bitchface and my smug look, brought Dean back. He cleared his throat

“Yeah, uh… But the whole thing was a little too, uh, sticky. So, uh, I got my V-card back.” He slapped his leg cheerfully “The End!”

Safe to say I got out of there on wobbly legs.

Sam headed to their room –we found out we were staying in neighboring motels-as Dean offered to “escort me” in mine. I laughed at his face and muttered a mocking ‘sure’ to which he pretended to take offence.

“Hey, I can be a gentleman!” He pouted.

“Key word being ‘can’.” I winked, unlocking my door. “Coming in for… tea?” Tea, Y/n?! Seriously?! Dean practically laughed at my face

“Suuure”

And, predictably, three minutes later I found myself pinned against a wall, racing on who could take his clothes off quicker while kissing. The kisses were messy, full of clashing teeth and laughter and awkward angles but, my God, I didn’t give a single fuck about it.

I won.

“Shoulda known not to wear five hundred layers, Winchester” I grinned, under him, hands tightening in his hair, a moan dying on my lips as he sealed them with his.

“We’ll see if you’ll be throwing any more smartass comments in a minute, sweetheart” The mischievous glint in his eyes sparkled.

“We’ll see if you’ll hold out for even a minute, Dean-o”  I arched up to him, lips messily contracting his.

“That a challenge I hear in your voice?” He grinned. I winked

“Only if you prove me wrong”

And holy hell, he did.