#it ran away from me but I really like it!
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Oh, I really, really like your recent blurb! Jason having a secret girlfriend/family is my favorite trope, but it is so hard to find!
Would you write about silly instances where Jason spots his family in public and tries to shuffle and guide you away without you noticing?
Ahh! I feel that validated in both my love of Jason and my love of the secret relationship trope! (This might not be exactly what you were looking for, but I hope you like it anyway!)
The first time it happened was a few weeks into your relationship, back When the two of you would meet for breakfast or brunch at the little cafe, a few blocks away from where you worked.
Jason Todd would always show up, yawning and exhausted from how tired he always was since he hadn't told you about his night job yet. But he was still on time, excited to see you even if he would go straight home and nap immediately afterwards.
The two of you would always spend more time talking getting to know one another than actually looking over the menu and ordering something to eat, but neither of you minded.
Then, one day, while he was looking away from you to hide the smile you had caused, he caught sight of Tim waiting in line to order a coffee.
Without really thinking about it, he grabbed both of your menus, propping them up and leaning over the table, trying to hide both your faces.
You frowned in confusion but leaned in too, until your faces were close together. "What are you doing?" You whispered.
"Nothing," he lied poorly, being his head over the top of a menu to see if his brother was still there and darting his head back down when Tim walked past the table. He let out a breath of relief, staring at you. "You look really pretty this close."
With an amused eye roll you leaned back in your chair, folding your arms and waiting for a better explanation. "You just wanted to talk really close for a moment?"
"Okay, fine," he sighed heavily. "I wanted to look at your freckles, alright? They're adorable. The ones on your nose are really cute."
It wasn't a lie, technically. He did love them. And you actually believed him, he thought. Or if you didn't, you didn't push the topic.
The next time you accidentally ran into somebody was at the mall, when you had dragged Jason along to help you look for a dress for a mystery date night he said nothing about, except for the fact that you had to wear something nice.
It was just his luck that you had picked the same store Stephanie happened to be shopping in as well. In most circumstances, she might not even notice him when they crossed paths in public, but in a woman's clothing store which was relatively empty, there was no way she wouldn't see him when she turned around.
Without warning, he tugged you away from rack you were looking at, pulling you into a cramped dressing room, locking it behind you.
"Wha-" You stared at him like he had lost his mind. "Why are we the dressing room?"
"How do women try stuff on when they can't turn around?" He countered, ignoring your question and planting his hand on the wall by your head to try to give himself more room in the tight space.
"It's typically not made for two people," you explained "Especially not 6'2 men."
He grinned a bit. "Do you like my height?" He asked, enjoying the proximity a bit more than he would admit.
Yes. Obviously. Who wouldn't? He towered over you. His arms could wrap around your entire body without even straining to cover more skin. Plus, he could reach the top shelf so you didn't have to climb on a chair.
But it was still too early in the relationship to tell him that.
"That's besides the point," you muttered. " Why are we in the dressing room?" You repeated.
"I just...always wanted to see a woman's dressing room," he told you, frowning at his own lie.
"Seriously?" You questioned. "You could have at least picked the big one at the end. And you didn't even let me pick anything to try on."
"Right, well..I figured we could try a different store," Jason explained, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "Nothing here would do you justice."
You huffed, finding it slightly amusing how foolish he was acting. But frankly, it wasn't terribly bad to be stuck in a tight space with him. So, you waited a moment longer before unlocking the stall.
You still had to find a dress.
Things were peaceful for a bit, you and Jason seemed to be growing stronger in your relationship and things began to get a little bit more serious. Jason seemed to be growing stronger in your relationship and things began to get a little bit more intense.
He knew that eventually he'd have to tell his family about you, but the next time he saw one of his brothers in public, he couldn't help but shy away from the task of introducing you.
In his defense, Damian really wasn't the first sibling you would want to meet.
He'd taken you to a nature preserve, because you said you used to go all the time as a kid but stopped after getting older.
You were practically giddy, feeding the animals from your palm, scrunching your nose when their whiskers ticked you. Jason was enjoying it too, more so because of you than the animals.
But while he was mocking you for your squeals, he heard a familiar voice having a one sided conversation with a lemur.
He turned and there was Damian, having his biweekly visit to see the animals that Father wouldn't let him bring home.
Jason cursed internally, pulling you away from the animals, accidentally spilling the feed from your hand.
"Hey, I stillwanted to see the—"
"I'll bring you back, I promise," he said, cutting you off as he dragged you behind a tree.
You wiped off your hand on your jeans and tilted your head. "What is it?"
"I just think you've been giving the animals too much attention," Jason noted. "I feel left out."
"Oh, c'mon," you rolled your eyes.
"Really," he insisted. "You kissed a sloth and a goat but not me."
He pouted a bit and leaned back against the tree, still holding you arm, though loosening his grip before running his hand up and down your arm apologetically.
You sighed, glancing around briefly, not really taking notice of the small, angry child, yelling at some poor worker, before leaning up on your tip toes to kiss his lips very quickly. "Satisfied?"
He smiled softly. "No." He shook his head, pointing to the exit. "Can we leave?" He asked gently.
"Will you bring me back?"
Jason nodded immediately. "Whenever you want," he said.
You gave up and left with him.
Now, if you really thought about it, you could easily put two and two together, but really, the instances were so far apart that you didn't really question the strange behavior.
He had managed to be, for the most part, pretty subtle about pulling you away from his family whenever he encountered them, as few and far between as those moments were.
Like the time you were walking down the street while it was raining and he spotted Duke crossing the street towards your direction. Even though he knew you loved the rain and hated umbrellas, he still pulled his jacket off, covering your head.
"Jay, I told you, I'm fine," you assured him, trying to move it off of you.
"Yeah, but you'll catch a cold," he insisted, pulling even further over your head while blatantly stealing an umbrella from a small stand that was selling them.
He popped it open, covering his own face as you walked past Duke.
"I will not," you told him, finally tugging it off. You frowned, not feeling any rain on your skin. "Where the hell did the umbrella come from?"
"Uh- someone handed it to me," Jason muttered. "Nice man."
And even though he despised running into people he knew because it always put him on high alert, trying to figure out what to do or where to go to keep whoever they ran into from spotting them, sometimes, he actually rather enjoyed the chance to pull you away from the rest of the world.
For instance, when you insisted on going to a carnival, which he wasn't a big fan of at first, until you guys got there and he saw your eyes twinkling at all the lights.
Any thoughts of boredom were quickly drowned out by the sound of your screams on the scarier rides, when you'd reach for his hand. And he bought every single treat you so much as looked at— the funnel cakes, the fresh lemonade, the Carmel corn.
He was watching you pull fresh cotton candy from the stick it was spun around when out of the corner of his eye he caught his brother Dick, along with Wally walking across the fair grounds.
Jason was sure they wouldn't notice you with how far away they were, but he refused to take the chance. So, he interlocked your hands, tugging you into a nearby photo booth as you made a sound of confusion.
"Just thought we should grab a souvenir," he said, beating you to the punch before you could ask what he was doing.
"I'm still eating my cotton candy," You told him. "I should fix my hair too."
Jason got a devilish glint in his eye and ran his hand through your hair jostling it further as you screeched in disbelief. "I think it looks good like that," he admitted, staring at you now that it had a bit more volume.
You blew a loose strand from your face. "I can't believe you did that," you stated. "It's all disheveled."
He nodded, still thinking it looked beautiful. Sort of like how it was when you woke up next to him.
"C'mon," he urged, pulling you into his lap. "I like you this way." He threw a few quarters in the slot and before you knew it you had a strip of three pictures, none of which were appropriate to show to anyone.
A picture of him stealing your cotton candy, a picture of him nuzzling your neck while you scrunched your nose in the way that made his heart clench, and a picture of him tasting said cotton candy on your tongue.
So, maybe it was an over reaction to pull you away from the rest of his carnival when it was huge and chances were Dick never would have even seen you. But God, did he enjoy it.
Then, there were, of course, the far less subtle times which didn't end quite as well.
Like when you just so happened to be walking out of a movie at the same time Cassandra and Barbara were heading into one.
"I think the sequel might actually be better than the original," you told him, arms interlinked as you walked.
"Uh huh," he wasn't paying attention anymore after seeing his sister and Babs at the soda machine, filling up their drinks.
He couldn't exactly pull you into a different theater, especially since he didn't know which one they would be going into.
The next best option? Throwing the empty popcorn bucket over your head.
"Jay?!" You exclaimed.
"It's a discount thing," he muttered vaguely, grimacing at his own excuse. "Wear the bucket out and you get a free movie."
Okay, not the next best, probably. Maybe like...sixth best? Seventh at most.
He pulled you past them, keeping his hand on the top of the bucket to keep it in place while raising his hoodie and keeping on the 3D glasses from the movie until you were past them both.
Once you were, he pulled it off and you were...well, fuming. Rightfully so.
"What the hell was that?" You asked, a bit bitterly, not buying his excuse for a second. "I'm covered in popcorn butter.
He cleared his throat, kissing your greasy cheek and licking his lips tasting a salty popcorn and butter on your skin. "Tastes good, though," he mumbled.
You stormed out on him.
And then, when you chose to walk all the way back to your apartment in frustration, both with his actions and lies, he finally came clean.
"I just... don't want my family to mess anything up between us," he confessed, barely even looking at you.
Vulnerability wasn't his strongest asset, but he was trying. For you.
You washed your face off in the sink for the third time and still felt greasy. Even if you got it all off your face, you'd need a shower to get it out of your hair.
"Why couldn't you just tell me that?" You asked, still confused. It wasn't like you didn't already know who his family was.
"I just- I didn't want you to think I was hiding you," he muttered.
"Jason, you put a bowl of popcorn over my head so your sister wouldn't see me. That's hiding," you stated firmly.
"Yes but it's not hiding out of embarrassment!" He clarified. "My family can be a lot to handle and they might scare you off and they'd definitely mock me endlessly for being in love with you."
His eyes went wide. That...was an accident. He didn't mean to confess that.
You stared at him for a moment, blinking. "Did you just say what I think you did?"
"I uh- well that wasn't..." He cleared his throat. "Yeah," he finally agreed with a slight nod. "But you don't have to say it back or anything, I know I'm not the easiest person to love and it—"
You were already kissing him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. He was caught off guard, but it didn't take him long before he kissed you back, his hands finding your waist and steadying you both.
"You're stupidly easy to love," you told him, resting your forehead on his.
(+Bonus)
It was a quiet Friday night when the two of you were at a nice restaurant, celebrating a year of being together. The food was good, the music was soft and nice, and Jason was practically a drooling mess over you, like usual.
So much so, he didn't even notice when his father walked into the restaurant with a date of his own.
You did, though. And in keeping with the spirit of what had apparently been a pretty large part of your relationship, even without you knowing it, you slid out of the booth quickly grabbing his hand and pulling him from his chair.
"Hey, wait a second!" He exclaimed as you rushed him out of the restaurant before he got to finish his dessert. "We still have to pay."
"We'll come back tomorrow and pay," you assured him, pushing open the door, into the cold evening.
"What the hell was that about?" Jason asked once you were outside and seemingly slowed down.
You pointed towards the window. "Your dad," you muttered.
He could see Bruce sitting at a table across from Selina, his eyes scanning a menu while occasionally looking up, probably to compliment her or something.
He huffed. "Add that restaurant to the list of places we can't go," he mumbled, shrugging off his jacket and handing it to you. "It got cold outside," he simply said when you frowned in confusion.
You pulled on the nice jacket that matched his suit. "Thanks," you said, wrapping your arm around his, tugging him away from the restaurant. "C'mon, I'll buy some more dessert."
He hummed, and pressed a kiss against your head. "Alright," he agreed, letting you lead him away from the restaurant and down the street.
#x reader#headcanon#jason todd#jason todd imagine#jason todd x reader#batboys#jason todd x you#dc comics#plethorawrites
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pretty tattoos -> ln4
wc: 1.2k tags: piercer!lando, cockwarming, unprotected sex, piv, part one | part two | part three
Lando’s shop was empty and quiet. Probably because it was already after working hours when you arrived, like the two of you had agreed.
After the last piercing you had gotten, Lando had indeed taken you out to dinner. And after that, the two of you were inseparable. And you couldn’t be happier.
It was after a night out that you mentioned wanting a tattoo. Immediately there was a sparkle in Lando’s eyes as he began gushing over how he hoped you would mention it because he was itching to ink your body.
After he dropped you home, laying a gentle sweet kiss to your lips before walking away, Lando had texted you the date and time of your tattoo appointment. Only if you wanted it, of course. And boy, did you want it.
Lando’s shop was a familiar place by now. Both from your own experiences and from the little visits you made just to see him. So you didn’t hesitate to get yourself comfortable as Lando prepared everything, the stencil already pressed against your skin.
Getting a sternum tattoo as your first tattoo was certainly a bold choice, you wouldn’t deny that. The room was slightly chilly, causing your exposed nipples to perk up, goosebumps raising along the skin of your arms.
“You changing your mind?” Lando asked, noticing you had gone quiet. His voice was teasing, but you knew that if you really did change your mind he would drop everything without a word.
“No,” you shook your head. “Just a bit nervous. I heard the sternum is a painful place to get a tattoo.”
“It is,” Lando agreed, smiling at you. “Don’t worry tho, I’ll keep you distracted.” he said with a wink, bringing a smile to your face.
“Oh, you’ll keep me distracted!” You teased, prompting him to laugh.
Lando finished setting the necessary material up and sat down in the chair. You looked at him, tilting your head to the side. “Isn’t that my spot?”
“Nope,” he told you, shaking his head. “Your spot is right here.” He patted his lap, his lips curled upwards in a smirk.
“How could I forget,” you smiled, walking towards him slowly. You ran your hands down his body, palms pressing against his chest before dipping lower, toying with the zipper of his pants.
You opened his pants and Lando wasted no time lifting his hips to help you slide them down his legs, the outline of his already hard cock visible in the grey material of his boxers. A wet patch was already forming on the material from where his leaky tip was positioned.
Lando took the boxers off quickly, pushing them to join his jeans. His hands grabbed your ass and he pulled your body closer, your bare legs pressing against his.
You giggled, wrapping your hand around his dick. It wasn’t your first time seeing him naked but everytime was as good as the previous. Your eyes zeroed in on his piercing, going through the tip of his cock, the metal balls shining under the led lights of the studio.
Spit dribbled down from your mouth onto his cock and you used it as lube to stroke him a few times before lifting up your skirt and climbing into his lap. The lack of pantied underneath the skirt made it all the easier to position his dick at your entrance and sink down on him, taking him fully.
“Fuck,” Lando groaned, his hands gripping your hips, both of you moaning at the sensation. His piercing pressed against your walls, adding to the stimulation. Lando’s hand caressed your back, making you arch your chest forward him.
“You ready?” He asked gently, one of his hands groping your tits, his fingers playing with your nipples and twisting your piercings.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” You replied, nodding your head at him. “You sure you can tattoo in this position?”
“Oh please,” Lando scoffed playfully. “Of course I can. Now hold on, this is gonna hurt a little.”
Lando lifted up the tattoo gun and started his work, tracking the stencil on your skin. You gasped a little at the pain, feeling your chest tighten as he worked, involuntarily clenching around him which had his breathing going shallow.
Thankfully it was a small tattoo, which meant it didn’t take much time for Lando to finish it. The whole time he kept teasing you playfully, talking about random things and cracking terrible jokes in effort to distract you from the pain, which really did work. But so did the feeling of his pulsing length buried deep inside of you.
You finally felt like you could breathe again properly when Lando finished the tattoo, putting away the machine and cleaning it up. One of his hands cupped your flushed face, his eyes meeting yours. “Looks pretty great if I do say so myself,” he told you, his eyes flicking down to the tattoo. “Now how about a reward for my best client?”
“Please,” you gasped out, your walls clenching around his dick. Lando groaned, wrapping his arms around you and standing up then pushing you onto the leather chair all while still remaining inside of you.
“Did so well,” he told you before pressing his lips down against yours in a sloppy kiss. “Took it so well, didn’t you? Now you’re gonna take my cock, yeah?”
His thrusts started slow, making you feel every inch of his hard cock, the piercing dragging against your walls, making your head spin with pleasure. One of his hands sneaked between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit fast and rubbing circles around it before he flicked your piercing, making you moan out.
The rhythm of his hips grew frantic, becoming more desperate with each thrust. After cockwarming him for what felt like hours it didn’t really take long for either of you to reach your orgasm.
“God, Lando!” You moaned, nails digging into his back as your orgasm crashed over you, triggering his own.
You both stayed still for a moment, catching your breath, then Lando pulled out slowly and used one of the previously prepared tissues to clean you up, all the while rambling about the tattoo healing process. You really couldn’t deny that he was adorable.
The two of you put your clothes back on and you waited for Lando to finish closing up the shop before you left together. “So, wanna come over to my apartment?” You asked, taking his hand in yours. “I got some great leftovers. And they’re not expired.”
He laughed, lacing his fingers with yours. “You truly know a way to my heart!”
Lando Norris had pierced his way into your life and permanently inked his place in it. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
thank you for following along the piercer!lando mini series. want more piercer!lando? send an ask and tell me your ideas. feed my need for validation and let me know if you enjoyed this one! like and reblogs are greatly appreciated as well. <3
#piercer!lando#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#formula 1#lando norris x reader#lando x you#lando norris#lando x reader#lando norris smut#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#ln4 smut#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you#ln4 x y/n#dia writes#lando x y/n#lando smut#f1 smut
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My girl! - Choi Su-Bong/Thanos x reader part 1/?
Summary: You had been a dancer for Thanos a few times in the past, but after he started acting more like an ass you cut off ties, until he saw you again in a death game against him.
warnings: nothing really, just your usual squid game gore.
You had met the infamous rapper Thanos twice before, being called back to his music video shoots repeatedly, so you weren't strangers, but you were sure he didn't know you other than one of his dancers. You were mistaken though, The moment you stepped into the room Choi su-bong had his eyes on you, he liked you, you were the first one of his dancers to not throw yourself at him the moment he walked into the shoot. You watched as a few names listed off with their debts, stifling a laugh seeing the familiar face appear on the giant screen hit his vape before being slapped, frowning whenever you saw yourself, watching as you took the slap recovering quickly before it flashed to a man with 10 million won worth of debt.
Thanos felt his body tense watching the recruiter smack you, you were as small and fragile as a flower, why such force behind the slap? As you navigated to your bed to sit down, you spotted Thanos and another man causing a slight scene with a third guy. Smiling to yourself whenever you saw his friend stop him from hitting the dude, that's whenever you froze, your smile falling and face turning red whenever his head turned and his eyes locked onto you.
"Thanos? Who's that boss?" Nam-gyu asked "My girl!" Thanos shouted, a smiling stretching across his face as he ran over, throwing himself onto the bed next to you "What're you doing here, senorita?" He asked, making you shrink back into the mattress trying to hide from the sudden rush of attention being drawn to you. "M-my brother's in debt..I wanted to help him" You explained quietly, trying to get him to get the hint to lower his volume by emphasizing your whispers. "You were always so sweet, that's why I made you one of thanos's girls" He said giving you the infamous smirk he'd always flash you in-between filming scenes for his videos "I am not one of your girls, I like to think I have more respect for myself than that" You tried to say confidently, Choi su-bong laughed in reply, throwing his head back just to prove his point more that he found your reply terribly funny.
Before you could ask what exactly landed him here, the guards were waiting for you all to leave single file, Thanos made a point to stay by your side the entire walk out to an outstretched field with a doll at the end. "So, y/n, why didn't you come back for my last shoot?" He asked pouted, causing you to roll your eyes "I just, didn't have time, plus, I have the right to say no, ya now" You argued, trying to listen to the rules before the game started. "And with that, let the games begin" You took off as soon as you heard greenlit, it you were gonna do this, you were gonna be the best. Freezing when you heard red light, you looked at the people in front of you, jumping as a loud gunshot fired off and people started screaming. As you heard green light you used your time to look back, scanning for whatever the commotion was, and where choi su-bong was. Seeing him fidgeting with his necklace, you both froze as you heard red light again, locking eyes, you could see the blood on his faces, and the panic in his eyes, holy shit. Whenever you heard green you took off for the end, desperate to get away from this damn area, as you heard redlight again, you tried to stop, but the dirt shifted under your feet and you felt yourself start to lose balance. A hand grabbed your wrist, spinning you around, and pulling you in until you were face to face with Choi su-bong's chest "I gotchu, Can't have one of my girls dying on me can I?" You heard him say. You held your breath, waiting for it all to end, but instead the game persisted, Thanos taking you by the hand as he galloped and leaped the rest way to the end.
You let out a shaky breath, trying to hold back every bit of panic and anxiety that was currently washing over you "Hey, you're alright" He whispered, using his index finger to have you lock eyes with him, this was the Choi su-bong you remembered and liked working for, sweet, gentle, but after he got a little fame boost and a group of friends from his underground battles, he just got really rude and disrespectful, that's when he started to fully go by Thanos. "I-I don't wanna d-die here, su-bong" You whispered, gripping onto your jacket to keep your hands from shaking, he was quick to counteract that by grabbing them and holding them gently in his "You won't, I won't let you! You saw! I was like woosh woosh!" He shouted, recreating his actions from before, his gentleness was gone, and Nam-gyu now stood next to him. That's whenever it finally dawned on you, it wasn't that su-bong changed, he was acting badass for his friends, at your expense most times.
You were silent the walk back to the room, making a straight shot for your bed, desperate to get away from him. He was still on your heels, the entire walk, eventually catching you giving Nam-gyu an annoyed glare and shooing him away. "my girl! please! I hate when you ignore me!" He begged, you just kicked off your shoes and crawled underneath the blanket they provided you, not wanting to hear him. "Please" He whispered, kneeling down to rest his forehead against yours "Baby.." He begged quieter, running his hand through your hair "Just because I'm speaking to you right now, does not mean I forgive you" You replied "But you don't call me that, you had a chance, I asked you out to dinner, and then coffee after you said you didn't have time at night, and that's whenever you told me you don't date 'dancers' in front of all of your friends, remember?" You spat glaring at him, just wanting to smack him across his stupid handsome face. "I don't date people who work for me!" He whisper shouted at you, you huffed "Fuck you Su-bong" That's all you could you say, you were too pissed off to think of anything else, he took notice "Punch me" He offered "What?..." you questioned, he grabbed your hand balling it up "Hit me" He repeated, you just shook your head, trying to push him away, before you could realize what happened, Su-bong was tumbling down the few steps that separated your bed from the floor, you jumped up, well, you tried to, rushing to the bottom to check on him "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to shove you t-that har-" You were cut off by somebody shouting "Holy shit that crazy bitch just shoved that kid!" Su-bong's head snapped over, he immediately popped up, almost like a cartoon character "Who the hell!?" He shouted, you jumped, flinching back a bit worried he might be yelling at you, until he stormed off, you rushed out to get a better view of him nailing someone in the jaw, Nam-gyu and you both rushing over "Thanos!" He shouted "Su-bong!" You grunted, both of you shoving the other two away from each other "Nobody disrespects my girl!" Su-bong shouted, walking over wrapping his arm around your waist "Stop it" You whispered, feeling everybody staring at you, he just tightened his hold around your waist "Let's goo!" He shouted all of a sudden rushing over to where him and nam-gyu sat, ready to talk about the next game.
#choi su bong x reader#thanos x reader#thanos/choi su bong#squid game thanos#squid game season 2#choi seunghyun#thanos squid game#squidgame#squid game
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This is along similar lines to my last reblog, because I've been thinking about this stuff a lot lately.
I decided to simply (haha) set my new fantasy, DnD-esque book in the southern hemisphere of its world. Southern hemisphere flora and fauna, with some extinct megafauna in place of dragons and unicorns.
And OOOF. I ran headfirst into so many of my own biases and assumptions about how a fantasy book like this should look and feel.
Just a few points I had to think about, to give y'all some examples:
Lords and monarchs? Why am I doing this?
Hang on, is land ownership even a thing?
In a warmer climate that's less reliant on European agriculture, will people be more mobile?
What does land management look like if I strip away my very European-centric preconceptions?
What do communities look like when a large percentage of the population is on the move most of the year?
What does everyday food look like if there's no wheat, no cattle, and few sheep?
Do we have leavened bread?
How do people move around with no horses, cattle, or camels to carry people and pull wagons?
What alcohols are available, and what are they brewed from?
Let me make one thing super clear: I'm no expert on this, and I'm not saying you should follow my example! I have a lot of biases that I'm still unpacking and unlearning. My point is more: this is all stuff that I hadn't really questioned before, in a fantasy setting. It's not all How's my diversity looking and Do I allow for gay people to exist.
Resources that I personally found helpful for helping me to pull out of a European-centric viewpoint for my fantasy:
The Biggest Estate on Earth, by Bill Gammage
Plants: Past, Present and Future, part of the First Knowledges series
They both got me thinking in a wider context, and I appreciate the hell out of the authors of these books for that.
In the past fifty years, fantasy’s greatest sin might be its creation of a bland, invariant, faux-Medieval European backdrop. The problem isn’t that every fantasy novel is set in the same place: pick a given book, and it probably deviates somehow. The problem is that the texture of this place gets everywhere.
What’s texture, specifically? Exactly what Elliot says: material culture. Social space. The textiles people use, the jobs they perform, the crops they harvest, the seasons they expect, even the way they construct their names. Fantasy writing doesn’t usually care much about these details, because it doesn’t usually care much about the little people – laborers, full-time mothers, sharecroppers, so on. (The last two books of Earthsea represent LeGuin’s remarkable attack on this tendency in her own writing.) So the fantasy writer defaults – fills in the tough details with the easiest available solution, and moves back to the world-saving, vengeance-seeking, intrigue-knotting narrative. Availability heuristics kick in, and we get another world of feudal serfs hunting deer and eating grains, of Western name constructions and Western social assumptions. (Husband and wife is not the universal historical norm for family structure, for instance.)
Defaulting is the root of a great many evils. Defaulting happens when we don’t think too much about something we write – a character description, a gender dynamic, a textile on display, the weave of the rug. Absent much thought, automaticity, the brain’s subsconscious autopilot, invokes the easiest available prototype – in the case of a gender dynamic, dad will read the paper, and mom will cut the protagonist’s hair. Or, in the case of worldbuilding, we default to the bland fantasy backdrop we know, and thereby reinforce it. It’s not done out of malice, but it’s still done.
The only way to fight this is by thinking about the little stuff. So: I was quite wrong. You do need to worldbuild pretty hard. Worldbuild against the grain, and worldbuild to challenge. Think about the little stuff. You don’t need to position every rain shadow and align every tectonic plate before you start your short story. But you do need to build a base of historical information that disrupts and overturns your implicit assumptions about how societies ‘ordinarily’ work, what they ‘ordinarily’ eat, who they ‘ordinarily’ sleep with. Remember that your slice of life experience is deeply atypical and selective, filtered through a particular culture with particular norms. If you stick to your easy automatic tendencies, you’ll produce sexist, racist writing – because our culture still has sexist, racist tendencies, tendencies we internalize, tendencies we can now even measure and quantify in a laboratory. And you’ll produce narrow writing, writing that generalizes a particular historical moment, its flavors and tongues, to a fantasy world that should be much broader and more varied. Don’t assume that the world you see around you, its structures and systems, is inevitable.
We... need worldbuilding by Seth Dickinson
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That's so True pt. 2
~That's so True by Gracie Abrams~
Author's note: you guys really wanted a part two, so here we go! I am not super fond of how this ended BUT I had so much fun writing this so I hope you guys enjoy reading it! Summary: Luke tries to win Y/N back Warnings: implied smut, brief description of a broken ankle Word count: 12,696 Luke Hughes x fm!reader Part One
She walked into the house, well before the party started. She saw Mark and Ethan cleaning up the living room area. Only for it to get destroyed later tonight. “Y/N!” the two of them cheered as she entered the house. She rolled her eyes playfully as she shyly brushed a few pieces of hair away from her face.
“Hey guys,” she mumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her gaze scattered around the house in search of Luke. Ethan met Y/N’s brief gaze, knowing what she was thinking. A soft chuckle fell from his lips before he let out a long huff of air.
“Hughesy’s in his room,” Ethan offered. Y/N nodded as she met Mark’s gaze briefly. His phone vibrated in his pocket, he smiled widely as he pulled it out. “Is that the red hair–”
Y/N walked away from them towards the hallway leading towards Luke’s room. She began to tune out whatever Mark and Ethan were saying. Carefully, she raised her hand up and knocked three times.
Luke let out a loud groan from inside of the room, which she assumed was his attempt of asking for her to come inside. Slowly, she pushed the door open to see Luke laying on stomach. His face was smashed into his pillow. His eyes opened slightly looking towards her direction.
She unzipped her jacket as she quickly pulled it off of her shoulders. She delicately rested it onto his desk. Y/N slipped off her shoes, tilting her head to the side. His cheeks were flushed red and he dark under eye circles. He looked like he hasn’t slept in days.
“What’s wrong, baby?” she asked softly as another groan fell from his lips. Her lips fell into a pout as she walked towards the bed. “Lukey,” she mumbled as she leaned down towards the bed. She ran her fingertips through his hair. He hummed.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” he mumbled, his voice was scratchy and hoarse. Her lips pouted as she continued running her fingers through his curls. “I’m probably contagious,” he muttered as his eyes opened, meeting her gaze.
Her hand glided along his upper back for a few seconds before she climbed over him. “Baby, no–go enjoy the party. I’ll be fine,” it sounded like it was painful for him to speak. Luke rolled onto his back, his lips were in a pout. Y/N laid beneath the comforter as she held out her arms towards him. “Go enjoy the party,” he sniffled, “I’ll be okay,” he mumbled.
“Will you–just–” she muttered as she waved her hands towards him. He sniffled before he rested his head into the crook of her neck. Their legs instantly entangled as his hands glided beneath her shirt. His hands were delicately along her side.
One of her hands ran through his curls as her other hand gliding up and down his bare back. His body erupted in goosebumps with her soft touch. His breathing was raspy as he was probably dealing with a chest cold.
“I’m going to get you sick,” he whispered against her neck.
“I don’t care,” she whispered as he pressed his lips against her neck briefly.
‘I feel like you should care a little bit,” he muttered back as he ran his thumb along the skin of her stomach.
“I want you to feel better, so I don’t mind,” she mumbled. He took a deep raspy breath as he lifted his head up from her neck. He leaned up on his hands as he looked down towards her. She raised her hand up and glided her hand along his flushed cheeks. Her lips fell into a pout, “You’ve got a fever, baby,”
His face scrunched together for a moment before he rested his face into the crook of her neck.
“Lukey,” she mumbled, “Let me get you some medicine,” she whispered. He let out a long drawn out groan before he rolled away from her body. He fell onto his back.
“Hurry back, I miss you already,” he mumbled as he brought the blanket up towards his chin. Slowly, she stood up from the bed, rolling her eyes playfully.
“Stay there pretty boy,” she teased as she slipped out of his room.
People were starting to enter the house for the party. So far the music was loud but it wasn’t party level yet. Y/N walked towards the kitchen smiling towards Mark. He explained something quickly towards the red haired girl beside him. Mark jogged towards Y/N.
“You and Hughesy joining us?” he asked hopeful. She took a deep breath as she began to dig into the medicine cabinet. The medicine that she has stocked for the boys because they were clueless.
“Luke’s not feeling good and has a fever,” she explained as she pulled out Ibuprofen from the cabinet. “I’m gonna make sure he’s okay,” she expressed as she met Mark’s gaze.
Mark nodded, “That makes sense he was slow all practice,” Mark expressed, “Do you want a drink?” he walked towards the fridge.
“Can you just grab two waters,” she asked. He nodded. Soon, he placed the drinks in front of her. “Thank you, Markie,” she let out with a soft grin. She took a hold of two tiny pills as she carried the waters back towards Luke’s room.
Slowly, she pushed the door open to see Luke was laying on the bed, the blanket all the way off of his frame. “Take these and drink this.” she instructed as he slowly sat up. She handed up the two tiny pills and the bottle of water.
He didn’t hesitate as he took the medicine and drank most of the bottle of water. She placed her water onto the night stand before she climbed onto the bed. She laid beneath the comforter and this time Luke instantly laid on top of her.
“Thank you baby girl,” he whispered against her neck. She hummed as he leaned away from her. “You’re like a sauna,” he muttered as he fell onto his back. He tossed the blanket low on his frame. His chest was rising and falling quickly.
Her lips fell into a pout, “What can I do?” she questioned. He shook his head slightly. Rolling onto her side, she took a hold of his cheek, forcing his gaze towards her. “I’m gonna kiss you,” she mumbled as she glided her hand across his flushed cheeks.
“I’ve got germs,” he muttered as he scanned her features.
“Will it make you feel a little better?” she questioned. He nodded as his gaze lingered on her lips. “Then I’m going to kiss you,” she mumbled.
“You’ll get sick,” he muttered as he reached his hand over and tangled it into her hair.
“It’ll be worth it if I can make you feel a little better,” she let out as she leaned towards him, kissing him delicately.
A soft hum fell from his lips. After a few seconds, she pulled away. Opening her eyes, she saw Luke’s eyes were still shut as he was breathing unsteadily. His lips were still curled upward. Her thumb glided along his flushed skin.
“Yeah, that–that helped,” he mumbled as he manuvered to lay on her again.
Mark sat in the living room, watching a movie with his new girlfriend Ava. Her legs were draped across his lap as he slowly gliding his hands up an down her thighs. Mark shifted his gaze towards Luke who was walking out of his room.
He looked ridiculous. His face was hidden in a black hoodie and his legs were covered by very lose sweatpants. Luke didn’t look towards Mark or Ava as he continued walking towards the kitchen. They shared shifty glances towards each other then to Luke.
“Is he okay?” she asked barely above a whisper, sitting up slightly.
“He’s not,” Mark let out softly as he shifted his gaze towards Ava. “He messed things up with Y/N and she like put the nail in the coffin,” he explained while gesturing slamming a hammer. Ava shot her head back, chuckling softly.
“I hear you talking about me,” Luke shot back from the kitchen. He was slamming the fridge door shut. Mark’s eyes widened as an awkward chuckle left his lips. “And she didn’t put the nail in the coffin, I’m gonna fix things,” he said as he walked passed them carrying a gatorade.
“And how are you going to do that?” Mark asked him, sitting up straighter.
Luke leaned against the doorway to meet Mark’s gaze. Luke had a sad smile on his lips as he took a deep breath. “I don’t know but I’ll figure someting out,” he let out simply as he walked back towards his room. He left Mark and Ava alone.
Luke instantly collapsed onto the bed, laying on his stomach. He took a long sip of his Gaterade. His phone was vibrating beside him. Luke forced his gaze towards his phone to see Quinn was calling him. He furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled the phone in front of him to answer the FaceTime.
“How’ve you been, Lukey?” Quinn answered the call instantly. Luke’s eyes widened slightly as he looked towards his eldest brother.
“I’m alright, why?” he questioned suspiciously.
“You haven’t called and you look like shit,” Quinn said while he rested his phone down. He began walking through his kitchen area. Luke didn’t reply as his mouth fell open, confusion written all over his features. “Dad also said that you and Y/N broke up,”
Luke dropped his head, a soft groan falling from his lips. “I said we stopped hanging out, we weren’t together,” Luke muttered.
Quinn let out a dramatic laugh as he walked back towards his phone camera, his mouth fell open. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Quinn asked while shaking his head slightly.
“What?”
“She wasn’t your girlfriend?” he asked while his eyebrows furrowed harshly together. Luke shook his head, before he laid onto his side, holding the phone close to his face. “You’re an idiot,” Quinn said as he placed a cutting board in front of him.
“I’m not an idiot,” Luke mumbled as he began to scroll through his camera roll. Quinn on FaceTime was in the corner of his phone screen. Quinn took a deep breath, preparing to give Luke a lecture.
Luke’s eyes landed on a photo of him and Y/N. He clicked it and it was a photo they took after one of his games. His face was sweaty as he pressed his cheek against hers. Her hands were squeezing his cheeks with a beautiful grin on her lips.
“Okay, I’m an idiot,” Luke forced out as he took a deep breath. “Jack’s been telling me that it’s ‘any minute now, Lukey, any minute you’ll get the call’ so I didn’t want anything serious,” Luke explained, mocking Jack’s voice.
“Why not? What’s wrong with serious?” Quinn asked as he began chopping an onion loudly. Luke continued to look through his camera roll, stopping and admiring each photo with Y/N.
“I didn’t want a girlfriend when I went to Jersey. I didn’t want to worry about anything holding me back,” Luke explained.
Quinn stopped chopping and placed the knife beside him. He took a deep breath before he took a hold of his phone. Bringing it towards his face, making sure Luke knows he’s serious. “You’re so fucking stupid. She was like perfect for you,”
She was laying in bed, a hoodie covering her frame. Her blanket was tugged highly up beneath her chin. She was sick, overwhelmingly sick. It was probably the worst she’s been sick in years.
There was a soft knock on her door and she forced out a barely audible, “Come in,”
She kept her gaze towards the TV that was playing New Girl. “Hey baby girl,” Luke mumbled as he walked inside, twisting the lock in the process. “I brought you some liquid IV and some soup,” he expressed as he walked towards her. Slowly, she sat up sniffling slightly. “I didn’t know what else to bring but I thought this was a start,”
“Thank you,” she forced out, she barely had a voice. His lips fell into a pout as he placed the soup onto her dresser before he kicked off his shoes. He took one of the water bottles from her dresser; that Lydia dropped off for her a few hours back. She was so bed ridden that she couldn’t get up to grab it.
“Oh baby, it’s kicking your ass, huh?” Luke mumbled as he began to pour the powder into the bottle of water. Shutting it, he quickly began to shake it. He placed it onto the side table. She hummed as she watched him pull his hoodie from his frame. Slowly, he climbed over her to lay beside her.
“You don’t have to stay,” she forced out. He let out a teasing gasp as he ran his fingers through his hair. Quickly, he laid onto his side reaching for her waist at the same time. She let out a huff of air as she laid down, facing away from him. He looped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. He pressed his lips against the side of her neck.
Her body fully relaxed with her back pressed against his chest. Luke glided his hands along her stomach as he dipped his hand beneath her hoodie. “I’m the reason you’re feeling like this, let me make you feel better,” he mumbled against her neck. She mumbled something he couldn’t hear, instead he continued to glid his hand along her skin as he shifted his gaze towards the TV in front of them.
She took a wheezing breath as she reluctantly sat up. Luke tried to keep a protective hold over her frame, but she carefully swung her legs to hang off the bed. “What do you need? What can I do?” Luke asked instantly as he followed her movements. She chuckled dryly as she reached towards the bottle of water beside her. He raised his hand up and ran it along her back.
She took a small sip, cringing at the taste before she placed it back down onto the side table. “They only had lemon lime left, I’m sorry,” Luke mumbled softly.
Carefully, she laid back down. This time she faced him. His eyes were flickering all over her colorless features. “It’s okay, I appreciate you,” she let out barely audible. He hummed as he glided his hand through her hair. He pulled her closer to him as he laid onto his back. Allowing her to rest her head onto his chest.
“Have you slept?” he asked softly as he continued to run his hand through her hair.
“No,” she muttered.
“Try to get some sleep, I’ll be here,” he mumbled as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. Slowly, she sat up; Luke trailed her movements. She took the ends of the hoodie on her frame and pulled it over her head. She tossed it to the floor as her body was now only covered by a tanl top.
“Too hot,” she mumbled as she laid facing away from him. He chuckled as he watched her movements. She scooted back, a soft smile on his lips as he wrapped his arm around her frame. His hand glided along her side, hearing her wheeze for breathing.
“Do you regret kissing me?” he whispered into her ear. A soft tight lip smile formed to her lips.
“Never,”
Luke rolled onto his back, keeping his phone rested beside him. He stared towards the ceiling for a few seconds. “How do I fix this?” he asked softly. “I mean–I tried but she won’t even talk to me. She won’t even come to the house to see Markie,” he explained.
“Well, what the hell did you do?” Quinn asked.
Reluctantly, Luke explained what happened for the last three weeks. He talked about how he realized he had fallen for Y/N. How he ended things over text and how Kaleigh’s friend practically jumped his bones the second she found out Luke and Y/N ended things. How he didn’t stop it. How his thoughts were consumed with Y/N as the other other girl’s lips were on his. How he thought that if he was kissing another girl, he would move on from her faster.
It was the exact opposite. He needed her more. He craved her more. He was in love. For the longest time, he didn’t know what being in love was like. Except, his level of happiness was so high with her around. His heart would be beating so slowly, almost as if he was completely content and his natural state with her.
Yet his heart would slame hard against his chest any time their lips connected, it was a blissful combination that he craved. He needed the surge of emotions and response, she gave.
“All I know is that I fucked up and I need to know how to fix it,” he expressed as he finally took a hold of his phone screen to see Quinn still preparing his meal.
“What is she doing today?” Quinn asked.
“Uh–pretty sure she’s got like an exhibition game thing today,”
“So, go,” Quinn expressed while dragging out the words.
“She doesn’t want me there,” Luke let out softly.
“Do you want to try and get her back or not?” Quinn let out frustratingly. Luke let out a dramatic groan.
“I’ll see if Markie and Ava wanna go,” Luke mumbled, “I’ll call you later,” he said before he hung up the phone, not giving Quinn an option to reply. Just as he was standing up from the bed, he heard a knock on his door. “Yeah?” he called out.
Mark pushed the door open and stepped inside. Ava stood awkwardly in the hallway. “I’m getting the house together to go watch Y/N play today. You wanna come?” Mark asked as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Luke grinned as he nodded.
“I was just about to ask you guys that,” Luke said excitedly.
“Of course you were. Is this a part of your plan to get her back?” he let out teasingly.
“Maybe,” Luke said as he tossed the hood off of his head.
Mark rolled his eyes playfully as he shut the door, “I’ll text you when we’re leaving!” he shouted through the door. Luke smiled to himself as he walked towards his closet to get a hold of a new set of clothes.
She was nervous. Today was her first game back after being injured four games ago. Of course her first game back was against Michigan State. Usually, the crowd was packed for the rivalry night. At least she was told. Tonight was her first time since she was a freshman.
The music was loud as both teams were warming up. Her eyes were dancing around the crowd, searching for her friends and family. It was an important game.
She stepped up into the drill, preparing to hit the ball over the net. The ball came into her direction and she leaped up and smacked over the net in the designated spot she was aiming for. Landing hesitantly, half expecting her ankle was going to bother her. It didn’t. She smiled softly as she walked towards the back of the line.
Her eyes landed onto the student section, watching it get more and more crowded. She searched for her friends but they were no where in sight. She took a deep breath as she switched her attention towards the Kendrick Lamar song playing in the background.
Quickly, she found herself searching again. Her eyes landed on her family sitting on the complete opposite side of the small arena. They instantly waved towards her. Seeing her for the first time in months. She grinned before the whistle blew, forcing them off of the court for the other team to warmup.
“Y/N!” her coach called after her. Her eyes widened as she took fast steps towards her coach. “How’s that ankle?” he asked her.
“Doesn’t hurt,” she said as she rested her hands onto her hips.
“Get it wrapped anyway,” he instructed, pointing towards the table with the athletic trainers. “And get ready, you’re starting,” he continued. Y/N nodded as she walked towards the table and smiling towards the trainer.
“Ankle?” she asked as she began pulling out the tape.
“Doesn’t hurt but he wants me to wrap it anyway,” she expressed.
“Smart, let me know if this is too tight,” she explained as she waited for Y/N to take off her shoe. She leaned back letting the trainer wrap her ankle as she looked up towards the student section. All of her friends and Luke were sitting front row. She smiled softly as she stared towards her friends.
Luke looked down towards her, waving subtly towards her. Her grin widened as she met his gaze. Mark and Ethan were talking about something while Luke kept his gaze towards Y/N. He held up a thumbs up before switching it down to a thumbs down. She gave him a thumbs up.
He nodded as he returned the thumbs up. Rolling her eyes playfully, she looked towards, Reagan. Reagan looked towards her suspiciously. “Shut it,” Y/N mumbled as she shut her eyes, focusing on the song playing throughout the arena.
“Who’s that grin for?” Reagan asked teasingly. Y/N chuckled softly as she glanced back towards Luke.
“My friends,” she let out cautiously. Reagan finished taping Y/N’s ankle, tapping the table. Y/N instantly began to put her shoe back on.
“Uh huh,” Reagan said while nodding her head slowly.
She hopped off of the table, jumping a few times; testing the tightness of the wrap.
After a few minutes, the arena lights went out as the hype video for the team began to play with HUMBLE. by Kendrick Lamar on the jumbotron. Y/N shifted her weight back and forth as she stared towards the giant screen.
The video was a lot of fun to film. It was one of the most important pieces of team bonding they did. They spent several hours dancing and screaming towards the camera. Kendrick Lamar’s music played on repeat for the whole time.
Dina and Y/N part was right before the beat drop to highlight the teams best plays from last season. The crowd started cheering loudly as the highlights started playing on beat to the song. This specific hype video was edited differently to show all of the spectacular plays they have made against MSU last year. Dina smacked Y/N’s arm excitedly as the video slowly faded as the crowd cheered loudly.
Luke was hanging behind the group, suddenly incredibly nervous that Y/N would’ve been pissed that he was there. Luckily for Luke, the game was only an off-season match up. Mark and Ava led the charge while the other roommates were in a cluster. Luke pulled the hat off of his head as he ran his fingers through his hair before he covered his hair again.
They walked into the student section, that was surprisingly getting full. Mark guided the group to sit front row, like they always do. Luke hesitantly sat down beside Ethan. Luke instantly searched for her number on the court. She wore the number four. His eyes landed on her waiting in line for a warmup drill. His lips curled upward as he watched her smile and laugh with her teammate.
“Oi Laser!” Mark shouted, forcing Luke’s posture to straighten and his eyes to widen. Y/N spun around, switching her gaze to the student section. She grinned widely as she scanned the crowd. Y/N met Luke’s gaze. Her smile faltered only slightly as she waved softly towards them.
“Laser?” Ava questioned softly.
“You’ll see,” Mark let out teasingly as he glided his hand across Ava’s lower back. “She’s killer,”
Luke chewed on his bottom lip as he watched them go back to their bench. The assistant coaches and interns were cleaning up the volleyballs.
Y/N and Dina stood on the sideline doing their long extravagant handshake. It was something they have done for nearly every game since the beginning of their last season. They stayed off of the court as the usual non-starters hit the court first. Luke kept his gaze on Y/N as subtly as he could.
She was smiling, happy. Nothing like the last time he saw her a few weeks back. But she always had a different aura during games. She was definitely her happiest while playing. Similar to how he was with hockey. Maybe that’s why they got along so well.
He watched as she shifted her gaze towards the student section; or towards him. He couldn’t tell. Their eyes met, at least he thought, she pressed her lips together awkwardly as she cheered for her teammate that achieved a point.
The first set ended with a win for the Wolverines, which meant Y/N was getting on the court. She was in the front row, anticipating the serve. The serve went over the net and immediately Dina bumped it towards their teammate Georgia.
Georgia set the ball towards Y/N. She was already up in the air as she hit it straight down split between two of the other teams players. It instantly it the ground, awarding a point to the Wolverines. The crowd cheered as the team got together high fiving one another.
“Fucking Laser!” Mark cheered loudly. Luke smiled as he clapped his hands together before he leaned forward, resting his arms against his legs. The following rally ended with a similar kill by Y/N. She was one of the nominees for freshman of the year in their conference, so it was no surprise to anyone in the arena that she was going to stand out.
Luke watched as she jumped up, attempting a solo block and succeeding. The student section instantly stood up clapping and cheering. “Stonewall,” Luke muttered as he smirked as he watched her dramatically hug Dina.
“She’s fucking insane, dude,” Ethan mumbled. All Luke could do was smile before he looked back towards the court.
The game was tight. They were tied at 2-2 sets and were in the middle of the last set. Y/N had a career night already. She totaled nine kills and fifteen blocks on the night. The team was currently on a timeout, they were all huddled together; drawing up a quick play to hopefully get the win. The Wolverines only needed one more point to clinch the win.
Luke’s gaze was on his phone, scrolling through his Instagram feed. He landed on an Instagram post that the volleyball team shared. It was a video of the kill that pushed the game to a fifth set. It was a dominating and badass. She hit it practically straight down between two of the the Spartans players. She fell back to the ground stepping backwards, a wide cocky grin on her face as her teammates all crowded her.
She looked so hot, Luke was getting all flustered the more he watched the highlight. She was incredible in more ways than one.
He shared it to his Instagram story with the word, “Yup,” and a blue heart beside it.
He lifted his gaze to see them line up, she was set up in her usual spot. Luke watched as Dina served the ball over the net. The other team had a play drawn up and instantly hit the ball in Y/N’s direction. She was already in the air, her hands up to block the ball. Her block attempt worked and the ball went back to Spartan’s zone. It caught them off guard and the ball instantly hit the ground again.
Y/N jumped in the air as the entire arena erupted into loud cheers. She had a huge grin on her lips as her teammates began to surround her. Luke shot up from his seat, cheering loudly.
“Atta girl! Let’s go, baby!” he cheered as he cupped his hands around his mouth. The crowd started to leave the stands towards the court. Y/N and Dina hugged dramatically.
Y/N eyes danced around the overwhelming amount of people on the court, until her eyes landed on her parents. She took fast steps through the crowd towards her parents. “Y/N!” her mom let out happily as Y/N excitedly gave her a hug before she gave her dad a hug.
“Awesome game, sweetheart,” her dad let out as she pulled away from the fast embrace.
“Thank you, I’m glad you guys were able to make it!” she said smiling widely.
“How’s that ankle?” her mom asked. Y/N shifted her weight back and forth, waiting for the adrenaline to wear off.
“It’s good!” she mumbled as she glanced behind her to see Luke and the roommates standing in a group a few feet away. She looked back towards her parents, “I’m gonna go say hi to someone really fast and I’ll be back!” she offered.
“Of course, honey, we’ll be right here!” her mother offered as she waved Y/N off.
She smiled kindly towards her parents before she began walking towards Luke. She met his gaze, he grinned once their eyes met. He stepped towards her, holding out his arms for her. Instantly, she wrapped her arms around him. He engulfed her body with his. He held her tightly to his chest.
“Great fucking game,” he whispered into her ear as he shut his eyes. She chuckled as she rested her head against his chest for a few seconds.
She pulled back, awkwardly crossing her arms over her chest. She began putting the majority of her weight onto her right foot as she was getting an overwhelming amount of pain in her left ankle. She winced slightly before she looked into his eyes.
“Thanks,” she mumbled.
“Hurting, huh?” Luke asked as he glanced down towards her foot.
She nodded, “It wasn’t for a while,” she mumbled as she attempted to put more weight back on her foot.
“Good thing, you won’t have a game for a few days.” he mumbled as he glanced behind her. She followed his gaze, looking towards her parents. They were watching them expectantly. She looked back towards Luke, smiling softly. “This is the first game they’ve been able to come see, right?” he asked softly as he stepped a little closer to her.
“Yeah,” she mumbled before she glacned behind herself again, “I’ve gotta go back,” she let out awkwardly, “I’ll see you tonight?” she asked softly as she subconsciously delicately took a hold of his arm. She dragged her thumb across the skin of his bicep before she pulled it away; suddenly aware that her parents could see her.
“Of course, yeah,” he mumbled as he stepped back, smiling towards her before he faced his roommates.
Luke loved watching her play. She was easily one of the best players on the team, maybe in the conference. She was a walking highlight reel and her celebrations were always one for the books. It was his favorite when she would have a cocky grin on her face as she would stare down the other players.
Ethan used to say they were perfect for each other on their shared love for over the top celebrations. He wasn’t wrong, most of their friends agreed.
Right now, the exhibition game was on the verge of ending as the third set was almost closed out. Y/N was subbed out as it was uneccessary to keep her in the game. Luke kept his gaze towards her as she looked back up towards him. This time she had a small smile on her lips.
The Wolverines were able to close out the game with a dominating win. The crowd cheered loudy as they instantly started to leave or head down to the court. Mark and Ava led the charge again towards the court to go see Y/N. Luke and Ethan hung back as they walked slowly behind them.
“Surpsised you joined us,” Ethan expressed as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Luke nodded as he pulled the hat away from his head as he ran his fingers through his hair before he placed it back onto his head.
“We agreed to be friends,” Luke said.
“Markie said you’re trying to win her back,” Ethan said while nudging him sightly. Luke smirked while stifling a laugh.
“That too,” he let out as the group approached Y/N and Dina. Y/N smiled towards the group, her gaze lingering on Luke.
“I didn’t know you guys were coming,” she offered as Mark wrapped his arms around her for a second before he pulled back.
“We were bored and wanted to watch you destroy,” Ethan chimed in.
“And you did,” Luke let out while meeting her eye. She pursed her lips forward as her and Luke’s eyes remained connected.
“Thanks guys,” she said as she forced her gaze towards the other people in the group.
“Do you want to go get dinner or something?” Mark asked her as he had a protective hold around Ava’s waist. Y/N’s eyes widened as she subconsciously looked over to Luke for a moment. Luke chewed on his bottom lip before he took a deep breath. He dropped his gaze shyly towards the floor.
She nodded as she adjusted the skin tight long sleeve on her body. “Just let me head home to shower,” she expressed.
“Did you drive?” Mark asked. She shook her head as she pointed behind her towards Dina. “Lukey, why don’t you take her back to her place to get ready,” Mark said with a teasing grin on his lips. Luke’s eyes widened as his lips parted slightly. His gaze darted towards Mark’s direction.
He would never admit it out loud, but he loved them together. Sure, he missed spending time with Y/N but he’s never seen her so happy before. She was the happiest when she was with him.
Ethan’s mouth dropped open as he shifted his gaze between Luke and Y/N expectantly. The other roommates all fought grins on their lips as they looked towards Mark. Ava smacked her hand against Mark’s stomach, almost to scold him.
“Only if you want to,” Luke mumbled out as he ran his hand over his nose. He avoided her gaze.
She looked towards Mark as she clenched her jaw. “Sure,” she drew out the word, creating a collection of muffled conversations between the group. “Let me grab my stuff,” she mumbled as she walked away.
Luke forced his gaze towards Mark, “Okay, just throw me in the deep end, thanks,” Luke said with a nervous laugh falling from his lips. The group began to laugh as he ran his hand across his chin.
“You’re welcome, Hughesy,” Mark said with a wide teasing grin. Mark smacked his hand against Luke’s shoulder. “Now’s your chance,” Mark mumbled as everyone began to leave the court; except Luke.
Luke shifted his weight between his feet as he forced his gaze towards his phone. He saw a handful of texts from Quinn asking how it’s going. He was always so nosy.
She walked back towards Luke awkwardly, shifting her bag in her arms as she looked up towards him. His heart jumped into his throat as he looked over her frame. “It was awesome to see you play again,” Luke expressed. She forced a small smile on her lips.
“It was great to play again,” she mumbled as she squeezed the bag strap on her shoulder. He tilted his head to the side as he slowly began to walk back out of the court. She kept her gaze low while she followed after him out of the small arena. Luke didn’t push anything or try any conversation as he guided her towards his car.
It was freezing outside as it was drizzling. Y/N sped up to walk beside him. He shifted his head to meet her gaze. “I promise I didn’t ask Mark to do that,” he expressed as he pulled his keys from his pocket.
“I saw your face, I sorta figured,” she let out while laughing. He tossed his head back as he unlocked the car. “It’s okay, I trust your driving more than Dina’s,” she mumbled.
Slowly, she walked back towards her parents. Y/N tried to hide the fact that her ankle was in overwhelming amount of pain. It was throbbing, it was creating a headache for her. Her mom had a small grin on her lips as she crossed her arms over her
chest.
“Who was that?” her mom asked teasingly once she stepped up towards them. Y/N’s eyes widened as she spun around to look towards Luke’s direction. He was already looking in her direction, he had a small smile on his lips. Awkwardly, he dropped his gaze towards the floor, pursing his lips forward.
“He’s my friend,” she let out as she looked back towards her parents, a small smile on her lips. She pressed her lips together as her eyes widened.
“Friend?” her dad asked. Rolling her eyes, she pushed her parents slightly.
“Can we leave please?” she asked softly.
“Where’d you park your car?” her mom asked as she wrapped her arm around Y/N. She took a hesitant breath as she kept her gaze onto her feet, limping slightly.
“Luke drove me,” she muttered, hesistantly.
“So the friend has a name,” her dad teased, “He was sitting with Markie, does he play on the team?” her dad pressed as he wrapped his arm around her as well. She hummed dramatically. “Is he one of Markie’s roommates?” he pressed again. She hummed again.
Slowly, she slipped away from their grasp. Wincing, she cringed at the pain shooting from her ankle. “Please stop asking questions,” she whined out. Her parents laughed as they let her walk ahead of them. “Can you guys buy me dinner already?” she asked while laughing. She pushed the door open and stepped outside to see the sunset cascading outside of the arena.
“If you tell us more information about Luke,” her mother teased.
“There’s nothing more to tell,” she let out while taking a deep breath.
“Then no dinner for our daughter,” her mother let out.
The entire drive to the restaurant, she kept avoiding the topic of Luke but her parents continued to press on about it. How was she supposed to explain to her parents that he was a friend who she was sleeping with nearly every day. How was she supposed to explain that she was falling in love with her friends with benefits.
They were immediately sat in the restaurant in a booth near the back. Y/N kept her gaze on her menu, scanning every option. Everything looked amazing. Her phone vibrated and flashed on beside her. Her nosy mother glanced down towards her daughter’s phone screen.
Y/N’s phone screen background was a selfie that she had taken with Luke. He was laying on her chest, smiling softly towards the camera with her. Her fingertips were gliding in his hair in the photo. Just so happened to have a text from Luke.
Her mouth fell open as she instantly stole her phone from the table, putting into her lap. “Just friends, huh?” her mother teased.
“What did you see?” her father asked while grinning teasingly. Y/N’s cheeks flushed as her body became overwhelming hot.
“A really cute photo of her and Luke as her phone background,” her mom teased while grinning widely.
“Please stop,” she mumbled as she tilted her head back, “I don’t want to talk about it,”
“Why not? If he’s your boyfriend, you can tell us,” her dad said.
“He’s not my boyfriend,”
“Oh I see,” her mother offered with a smirk toying to her lips.
“Mom,” she scolded.
“Are you being careful?” her mother asked.
“Mom!” she scolded while laughing nervously.
She sat still as she waited for Luke to pull out of the parking lot. He kept his gaze on his phone for a moment, texting someone. He chuckled softly as he placed his phone into his cup holder before he pressed play on the songs he queued up.
“Ready?” he asked softly. She hummed as she subconsciously lifted her gaze to meet his eye. He had a soft smile on his lips before he began to back out of his parking spot.
“Kaleigh said that you and Sophie aren’t seeing each other anymore,” she let out, swallowing harshly.
His eyes widened slightly as he took a shaky breath. “I’m not even sure we we’re seeing each other to begin with. She found out that we weren’t—um—together anymore and she saw an opportunity,” he explained. He took a deep breath as he tilted his head back against the head rest.
“Opportunity?” she asked with a smirk toying to her lips.
“She kept kissing me and then like a few minutes later ask if Jack was coming to visit any time soon,” he explained while chuckling. Y/N barked out a laugh as she shook her head. “When I sobered up, I told her to practically leave me alone and she listened,”
“What? Were you drunk for three days straight?” she asked teasingly.
“Yeah—yeah I was actually,” he said while laughing, “Not my proudest moment,” he mumbled as he clenched his jaw.
“I know,” she mumbled while forcing her gaze towards her lap again. “She was really hot,” she forced out trying to sound like a joke but it came out a little sad.
“She’s not really my type,” he said as he glanced towards her. Rolling her eyes playfully, she looked towards him. His cheeks were flushed red as he was biting his bottom lip nervously.
“Yeah and what’s your type then?” she let out while chuckling.
Luke pulled up toward a red light, shifting his head to the side to meet her gaze. He fought off a grin on his lips as he scanned her features. He ran his hand across from his nose as he took a deep breath.
“I like volleyball players,” he muttered shyly. She rolled her eyes dramatically as she tossed her head back.
“Luke,” she let out barely above a whisper.
“You asked,” he mumbled as their eyes met again. Her eyes softened, the longer their eyes remained connected.
“I know what you’re doing,” she muttered as her eyes lowered towards his lips. She took a deep breath as her body erupted with a wave of heat.
“Is it working?” he asked barely above a whisper. She shook her head as she forced her gaze forward. Luke smirked as he began to drive ahead. “You’re smiling, so it’s a start,”
“I’m a smiley person,” she teased as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“You haven’t been smiley around me for a few weeks,” he let out as he pulled up towards her sorority house. “As long as you’re smiling, then there’s a chance,” he teased as he put the car into park.
She tilted her head to the side, meeting his gaze. She took a deep breath while taking off her seatbelt. “Luke,” she offered as she raised her eyebrows. He hummed as his gaze dipped towards her lips. “Not gonna happen,” she mumbled as she opened the car door. He dropped his head while laughing.
“Okay,” he mumbled as he fought a grin.
“I’m serious,” she let out as she leaned her head back into the car.
He smirked as he scanned her frame, admiring her thighs briefly before shooting his gaze back up to meet her eye. “Sure,” he mumbled.
“Luke,”
“Just go shower, I’ll be waiting here,” he let out while chuckling. She stayed still for a moment as she continued to look into his eyes, “Unless you want me to join you,” he said mockingly. She slammed the door shut causing Luke to tilt his head back and laugh to himself.
~~~
It had been a few days since she last saw Luke. He wasn’t pushing any boundaries. Wasn’t trying to beg or do anything that would make her uncomfortable. But he was still trying to win her back in the most subtle ways possible. Sending her TikToks that he thought she would find funny. That was the plan. At least until she agreed to hang out again.
Mark was the first one to realize in the last three weeks that they were miserable without one another. Luke was feeling helpless and stupid over everything that he did after he ended things with her. While she was feeling sad. The only way to describe what she was feeling. She was sad and the only two times she looked like herself in the las few weeks were when she was in the exhibition game and when she was sitting next to Luke at the dinner that same night.
She continued to have a subtle sad pout to her lips when he was not around. Mark was tired of seeing it and was tired of the cat and mouse game the pair were starting to do. Especially since they keep talking to him about each other; he hated being in the middle.
Mark and Y/N were jogging outside, in the cold, trying to maintain fitness in the off season. Mark was slightly ahead, used to constant running while she was used to more short bursts of cardio.
“Have you spoken to Hughesy since your game?” he questioned, breathing practically normal.
She took in an urgent breath. “Texted a little,” she mumbled out.
“Have you forgiven him yet?” he asked as he began to run backwards to meet her gaze. She shrugged while she took another urgent breath.
“Thought you agr—agreed to hate him,” she said as she tilted her head back, squinting slightly as the sun blinded her.
“That was until I saw how fucking miserable you are without the nerd,” he let out while grinning.
“His tongue was down ano—another girl’s throat the next day after ending things with me. Of course I would be fucking miserable,” she stopped short, bending over trying to catch her breath.
“To be fair, I think it was her tongue down his throat,” Mark said while chuckling.
“Still,” she muttered as she began to jog ahead. Mark began to follow after her again. “You guys must think I lack a lot of self respect to go back to him after that,” she said pointing a finger towards him.
Mark’s mouth fell open for a second before he clamped it shut. He ran his fingers through his hair as he slowed his pace to match hers. Mark stared towards his feet, trying to find something to say to that.
There was so many things that he wanted to say, tell her that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. Even herself. Luke was so madly in love with her that he was afraid of something real. Mark wanted to tell her that, tell her that Luke meant it.
“You know guys are—like—dumb right?” he let out as he reached towards her, forcing her to stop running. She spun around meeting his gaze. “Luke doesn’t have a mean bone in that Gumpy ass body,” he began. Y/N rolled her eyes playfully as she took a deep shaky breath. “He was dumb but he wasn’t trying to hurt you,”
“I know! But just because he wasn’t trying doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be upset,” she said as she frowned slightly.
“But at least let him make it up to you!” Mark urged as he jumped slightly.
“Why do you care so much?” she asked while dragging her tongue across her bottom lip.
“Because I want my best friend to be happy,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And that nerd made you so fucking happy,”
She fought a grin forming to her lips, she was definitely the happiest she’s ever been when she was with him. She was in love with him, she was sure of it. But she still hasn’t been able to get the image of him kissing Sophie out of her mind.
She took a deep breath as she ran ahead, “We’re not talking about this anymore, how’s Ava?” she switched the subject as she spoke loudly. Mark rolled his eyes playfully as he was following after her urgently.
“She’s amazing, doesn’t have a single jealous bone in her body,” he expressed happily.
“Finally, tired of being stared down for existing,” she uttered as she chuckled.
“That’s because Ava is hot and confident and sexy so she doesn’t need to be jealous,” he explained as he jogged ahead of her.
“She is hot—like—really hot, so don’t fuck it up,” she teased, “She’s like way too hot for you—”
“Okay, damn, rude,” Mark said while laughing. Y/N barked out a laugh as they were running side by side down the street back towards his house. “How’s that ankle?” he asked as they jogged up the stairs towards the front door.
“Back to normal,” she smiled as she pushed the door open. Her eyes landed on Luke who was sitting in the living room with his laptop in his lap. He lifted his gaze, smiling softly once he saw them walk inside.
“How was your run?” Luke asked as he kept his gaze on Y/N. Slowly, he trailed her frame, not so subtly.
“I thought it was fun but Y/N thought otherwise,” Mark offered as he jogged towards the kitchen. Luke placed his laptop beside him as he stood up. He walked towards her, their eyes connected. She ran her hand over her forehead before she dropped her gaze towards the floor.
“Haven’t been good at running since my ankle,” she offered.
Luke kept his gaze on Y/N as she laughed at something Dina said to her. She leaned forward as she rested her hands against the top of her thighs. Luke bit his bottom lip as he leaned forward staring towards her. He watched as she prepared for the play to start.
The other team sent the ball over the net directly towards Dina. Luke’s body straightened, completely ignoring what Ethan was ranting about beside him. All Luke knew was that Ethan was upset about something with Dina. He’s had a little crush on her for a while. Luke watched as Y/N hit the ball towards the back right corner of the court.
She came back down and instantly collapsed to the ground as all of her weight landed on her bad ankle. The whole arena gasped as she kept her leg limp against the ground. She had let out a loud sob as she kept smashing her fist towards the ground. Her entire leg felt like it was on fire from the pain.
Luke instantly stood up, leaning against the railing in front of him. He squeezed his hands tightly as he stared towards her laying there. His heart jumped into his throat. “Luke,” Ethan whispered as he stood up with Luke. He felt his body run hot as he felt his hands were starting to shake as he kept watching her.
“Come on, baby,” he let out softly.
Dina waved her hand towards her coach and Reagan, practically begging for them to come over to help her. Luke’s lip quivered as he continued to stare towards her not trying to stand up. He kept watching her fist hit against the ground, trying to switch her attention to something other than the pain shooting up her leg.
Reagan ran her hand up and down Y/N’s back while she was whispering something to her. Dina was leaned down beside her, glancing awkwardly around the court. Y/N finally rolled to sit up as she reached towards her coach and Reagan to help her stand up. They both looped their arms around her waist, helping her stand up.
“Come on, baby, put some weight on it,” he mumbled as he watched her delicately put her toe against the floor. Her entire body was on the verge of collapsing again. Luke dropped his head as his shoulders slumped. “Fuck,” he let out while taking in a deep breath.
“Excuse me,” he mumbled towards the people sitting beside him as he started walking out of the student section. He could hear Ethan and Mark call after him but he didn’t care. He continued walking down the stairs to turn and head towards the main level of the arena.
He walked up towards the doors that were blocked by a security guard wearing a bright yellow jacket. “Sorry, kid, you can’t go in there,” he alerted. Luke’s eyes widened as he looked towards him urgently.
“Y/N, the girl that got hurt, she’s my—she’s my girlfriend, please,” he practically begged. The security guard took a deep breath as he stepped aside. That was the first time he’s said that word.
“I’m not supposed to but go ahead,” he instructor. Luke muttered his gratitude as he quickly took a left to walk towards the corner where the athletic training table was at. Luke jogged up towards the table, watching her force her eyes opened slightly.
Her lips fell into a pout, “You can’t be here,” she mumbled softly. Reagan began to delicately untie her shoe. Y/N tossed her head back against the pillow, the delicate touch was even too much.
“He can stay,” Reagan expressed as she tried to losen the shoe as much as possible. Luke delicately ran his hand across the top of her head. Before he leaned down and carefully pressed his lips to her forehead.
“How bad is it?” he asked softly before he kissed her forehead again.
“She said she felt a snap,” Reagan offered as she slowly began pulled the shoe off of her foot. She winced instantly as covered her face with her hands. “I know, I’m sorry, I know,” she mumbled.
She pulled her hands from her face as she opened her eyes to meet his gaze. Her foot began to throb instantly as the shoe was completely pulled off of her foot. Luke wiped his thumb across her cheek, wiping a tear that was streaming down her cheek.
“Did I at least fall gracefully?” she asked, trying to lighten her own mood. Luke chuckled softly as he leaned down and kissed her lips swiftly.
“It was very graceful,” he muttered before he kissed her lips again for only a second. She smiled softly for a moment as if all of the pain dissipated. “It’ll be okay, baby, it’ll be okay,” he whispered as she continued to scrunch her features together as Reagan slowly unwrapped Y/N’s ankle.
“She’s still got it,” Mark offered from the kitchen as he walked back towards the living room. He tossed her one of the water bottles as he returned to the room.
“Course she does, it’s Y/N,” Luke offered as he tilted his head to the side while smirking slightly. She rolled her eyes playfully as she took a sip from her bottle. Shyly, she looked down towards the floor as she shifted her weight back and forth. Mark grinned as he looked back and forth between them.
“I’m going to my room,” he let out with a smirk toying to his lips. Y/N mouth fell open as her eyes widened slightly as she watched Mark walk away.
Luke dropped his head slightly as he awkwardly ran his hand along his neck. He took a deep breath as he lifted his gaze again to meet her eye.
“Can we talk?” he asked softly. She pursed her lips forward as she slowly nodded. He led the way towards his bedroom. He pushed the door open as he pressed his back against the door. She met his gaze as she walked into the room. Carefully, he shut the door behind them, locking the door in the process. He didn’t want Mark or any other roomates of his interrupting them.
She sat on the edge of his bed, awkwardly fidgeting with the label of the plastic water bottle in her hands.
“I’m really fucking sorry, Y/N,” he said as he kept his back against the door. His breathing had picked up as he watched her lift her head up to meet his gaze. Hesitantly, she placed the bottle of water on the floor as she continued to look towards him.
“Luke,” she mumbled.
“I know I hurt you and I’m so fucking sorry. I know you don’t want to hear it but I was so scared,” he let out as he clenched his fists a few times as he stepped towards her before he hesitantly leaned back against the door. “I never had girlfriends in high school, I never had anyone even like me long enough to stick around but you did. I was terrified of that,”
He kept his distance, not necessarily blocking the door to keep her inside but he needed something to lean against. “I know I messed up with ending things the way I did and with Sophie and I know that you probably can’t forgive me for that. But what if you at least let me try to make it up to you,”
“Luke,” she mumbled again. His eyes widened as he stepped towards her nodding.
“I’ve been called stupid a lot over the last few weeks for how I’ve treated you—if that’s any constellation,” he expressed. She rolled her eyes as a laugh fell from her lips. “Laughing, that’s a good sign, right?”
“Mark’s called you a nerd a few times,” she offered. His mouth fell open as he glanced behind him. Almost as if Mark was standing there.
“I am not a nerd, I am stupid but I am not a nerd,” Luke offered as he walked towards her.
“What’s your comfort movie?” she asked as her head tilted to the side, a smirk toying to her lips. His cheeks flushed red as he finally sat beside her. He kept some space between them but his eyes were still connected with hers.
“Okay, maybe a little nerdy,” he mumbled as his gaze dipped towards her lips.
“I want to forgive you,” she forced out as she dropped her gaze towards her lap again, “But I can’t get the image of you and Sophie kissing out of my head. Like it felt like you were cheating on me but we ended things. An—And it’s not like we were dating or exclusive,” she mumbled.
“I wanted to be together but I kept feeling like if we were serious and I left then I would be like the worst boyfriend of all time. And then I did all of that. I’m so sorry, Y/N, I really am.” he explained softly.
“I’m sorry too,” she mumbled as she pressed her lips together for a moment. “I should’ve said something about my feelings sooner maybe you wouldn’t have gotten so scared,” she expressed watching his eyes widened slightly. “I really think we could’ve been great,” she muttered.
His heart jumped into his throat as he took a sudden breath, “Could’ve? Like—you don’t want to try again, for real this time?”
“I don’t know, Luke,”
“One more chance,” he mumbled as his gaze dipped towards her lips. He admired the soft curve of her lips and thought on how much he would love to kiss them again. He had no idea how he managed to spend so long without her lips on his. He doesn’t want to go this long ever again.
“I don’t know if I can get the image out of my head,” she muttered as their eyes connected. He nodded as he chewed on his bottom lip for a second as he leaned back. He tilted his head back as he took a deep breath.
“Will you go on a date with me?” he asked softly.
“What?” she asked softly.
“Tonight, movie date. We’ll set up in here. Pick a movie and we’ll actually watch it or I’ll talk through the whole thing and we’ll start over,” he explained, a soft chuckle falling from his lips. She stared towards him suspiciously as she fought a grin forming to her lips. “We’ll start small because we’re used to this, right? So first date, here, right now,”
She took a deep breath as she smiled softly, “Right now?” she asked while chuckling. He nodded encouragingly. “I just finished a run. I’m gross and sweaty. I—we can’t,” she let out as she stood up.
He immediately stood up, “Counter argument, you can shower in Markie’s bathroom and put on the clothes I have here in my closet,” he said while walking towards his closet and pulled out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt of hers. He handed them towards her as she laughed.
“Fine,” she drew out the word for a few seconds as she stood up and began to walk out of the room. “What if I don’t come back,” she let out teasingly as she kept her hand on the door handle.
“You will,” he mumbled as he winked towards her. She rolled her eyes playfully as she slipped out of the bedroom.
She was laying on her bed with an ankle that was broken in two different places. Her season was done and she was angry. Everything was supposed to be great, her freshman season was supposed to be record breaking. At least that was the expectation put on her and now it didn’t matter.
She was frustrated and constantly in pain despite the amount of medication that she was supposed to take. The medicine made her feel dizzy and she would rather be in pain that feel unlike herself.
There was a soft knock on her door and she didn’t say anything. She tilted her head back against the headrest while clenching her jaw. The door was slowly pushed open with Luke stepping inside. He was carrying an iced coffee that he was only half-convinced was correct.
“How’s it feeling?” he asked as he twisted the lock before he walked towards her. She didn’t say anything as she kept her gaze onto the TV screen beside her. He stood at the foot of the bed, glancing down towards the dark blue cast on her foot. “Baby,”
“Please go home, Luke. I’m not in the mood,” she mumbled as her voice cracked slightly. His lips fell into a pout as he walked around the bed as he delciately rested the coffee onto the side table. “Luke, I’m serious,” she muttered, still avoiding his eye.
“I know, but I’m not leaving,” he let out as he leaned down and delicately pressed his lips against the top of her head. He glided his hand across her cheek as he forced her gaze to meet his eye. “I know how much this fucking sucks. Let me take care of you,” he mumbled as he scanned her features. Her lips quivered slightly as she tilted her head back.
“I don’t get injured, I haven’t even pulled a muscle since I was like eight,” she let out as she looked deeply into his blue eyes. He glided his thumb across her cheek. “I don’t get injured,” she mumbled again as he pulled her towards him, pulling her into an embrace.
“I know,” he mumbled as he held her tightly to his chest, “You’ll have an amazing comeback,” he whispered against her hair. She pulled back rolling her eyes playfully. A soft smile formed to her lips, “There’s my girl,” he whispered as he took a hold of her cheek again. “What can I do?”
She took a deep breath, “Maybe you could help me get in the shower but that’s like the least sexiest thing of all time,” she let out jokingly. He rolled his eyes playfully.
“You must think so little of me,” he let out teasingly before he leaned towards her kissing her softly. “I always think you’re sexy,” he mumbled against her lips, a teasing grin on his lips. She pushed him back rolling her eyes playfully,
“Okay, help me up,” she let out while laughing. He leaned down and took a hold of her body bridal style, “Not what I meant—okay—this works,” she laughed.
“Come on beautiful,” he muttered as he carried her towards her bathroom.
Luke quickly emerged from his own bathroom while dramatically towel drying his hair. He was waiting for her to come back for their impromptu first date. He tossed the towel into his laundry bin before he walked back towards his bed. He adjusted the sweatpants on his frame. He reached to the candle on his night stand and immediately began to light it. He placed it back down before he spun around and walked towards his closet.
He took a hold of one of his UMich hockey hoodies and instantly covered his frame. There was a soft knock on his door. His heart jumped into his throat as he walked towards it and carefully pulled it open.
He met her gaze as he pulled the door opened wider, “She returns,” he muttered as he allowed her to step inside.
“Almost didn’t,” she shot back as he shut the door behind her, twisting the lock in the process. He flipped the light switch so that only the candle and the soft lamp in the corner of his room illuminated the room.
“Do you have any movie ideas,” he asked softly as he pointed towards the bed.
“I know what we shouldn’t watch,” she let out teasingly as she climbed onto the bed. Luke watched her sit in her spot, she had sat up while leaning her head against the headrest. He mimicked stabbing his chest as he climbed beside her, keeping some distance. Luke didn’t want to push her. All he wanted was to spend time with her again.
“You enjoyed it,” he offered as he tilted his head to the side to meet her gaze. Her gaze landed on his lips as she took a shaky breath. A soft hum fell from her lips as she trailed her gaze to meet his eye again.
“Luke,” she let out softly. He hummed as his eyes flickered all over her features. “What’s gonna happen if you do get the call?” she asked softly, her body erupting in flames.
His eyes widened as he inched towards her. Hesitantly, raising his hand up. It ended up hanging up in limbo. He dragged his tongue over his bottom lip. “I don’t want to think about that,” he mumbled.
She took a deep breath while shaking her head. “Do you want serious or not, Luke? Because I’m not doing this with you unless I know,” she mumbled as she turned her body towards him.
“Of course I want serious,” he let out, “I need you,” he mumbled as he finally took a hold of her cheek. He looked deeply into her eyes, searching for some hidden answers between her dilated gaze.
“Promise me that if you get the call you won’t end it because you’ll be in Jersey,” she asked as she inched towards him.
He leaned towards her pressing his lips against hers urgently. She parted her lips as she allowed his tongue to slip into her mouth. Luke instantly began to climb on top of her as she slowly laid onto her back. Her hands began to glide along the base of his neck, desperate for him.
Luke pulled back, leaning his forehead against hers, “I promise,” he mumbled before he leaned down and began to trail his lips down her neck. Slowly, he began to suck and graze his teeth against the hot skin against her neck. A muffled hum fell from her lips as she tilted her head back allowing him more access of her skin. Her fingers ran through his curls.
“Luke,” she mumbled as she arched her back into him. He pulled back, staring towards the redden mark on her body. Usually, it was something he avoided doing but it’s been too long since his lips have been on her skin. He leaned down and kissed her urgently, his lips controlled the fast sloppy pace.
Her hands tugged at the shirt on his frame, craving the heat radiating from his skin over her frame. He pulled her bottom lip into his mouth sucking on it as he heard her breath unevenly.
Tilting her head back, her lip popped out of his mouth. Before he began to trail wet kiss down her jawline, towards her neck. Sucking and bititng against her skin every so often.
“This isn’t how first dates usually go, by the way,” she expressed breathlessly. He chuckled against the skin directly above her collarbone, sending an electric vibration all over her frame.
He took a hold of her shirt and began to pull it up her frame, arching her back she allowed him to pull it over her head. He tossed it towards the floor as he bit his bottom lip as he scanned her frame. It was as if it was the first time he’s seen her like this. He tilted back, tugging his own shirt from his body towards the floor.
She fought a grin forming to her lips as she trailed her manicured finger nail down the curve of his muscles. Tracing each line of his abs as she watched his body tense under his touch.
“We’re supposed to be starting over,” she mumbled as she continued to look over the muscle of his abs. He took a sharp breath as he slowly rolled away from her. Her eyes widned, “I didn’t say stop,” she pouted as she reached towards him.
He chuckled as he tilted his head to the side to meet her eye, “You’re right, though,” he mumbled as they laid facing each other. He rested his hand onto her waist as he slowly pulled her towards him. Her hands continued to trace along his skin. “I don’t want to stop,” he muttered as he leaned towards her. Slowly, he pressed his lips against hers.
“Then don’t,” she mumbled against his lips. He chuckled before he pulled back slowly. Quickly, she took a hold of his cheeks and kissed him urgently.
“Baby, are you sure that all of this is okay?” he asked as he pulled back. His gaze flickered all over her features. Carefully, he dragged his thumb across her bottom lip.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life,” she mumbled before she desperately leaned towards him kissing him.
~a little ways down the road~
Today she had an important conference game against the Rutger Knights. It was an early game, something that she was not used to. She lined up beside Dina and the rest of her team as they began to jog towards the net and back towards the base line.
“Is Luke coming?” Dina asked as they began to set up one of their drills. Y/N took one of the volleyballs and began to toss the ball from one hand to another quickly.
“He can’t, he’s got a game tonight, remember?” Y/N let out as she kept her gaze on the ball in her hands.
“Not until tonight, he should be here!” Dina begged. Y/N started lining up to serve the ball over the net. She launched it and it hit the top of the net before it barely collapsed onto the other side of the court. She cringed as she jogged towards the sidelines to start her stretches for the game.
Dina’s serve was perfect like it usually was for her. She instantly jogged towards Y/N. “Did you even ask him to come to the game?” Dina asked while shifting her weight back and forth. Y/N jumped up and down several times. Before every game she always had anxiety that she would hurt herself again.
It was as if there was an overwhelming surge of anxiety every time that she would line up for the game. Usually the feeling would disappear halfway through the first set but every game was the same. She took a deep breath as she began to roll her ankles, letting them pop slightly.
“He told me that the timing wouldn’t work which is fine because I’ll see him tonight anyway,” she explained as she began to walk back towards the drill.
For the next five minutes, the drill was going perfectly.
Every hit and ever serve she had went exactly how she needed them to go. It’s been a long time since she’s felt confident before a game.
Her teammates hit the ball towards her. Instantly, she leaped up into the air and smacked the ball hard towards the back left corner. It was barely in but her coach hollered at her; praising her.
The ref blew the whistle sending her team off of the court. She groaned as she jogged back towards the sidelines. She stood on the side of the court, stretching her entire body as the other team started warming up.
“Hey,” Dina mumbled as she stood in front of her. Y/N’s eyes widened as she took a deep breath.
“Yes D,” she mumbled while laughing awkwardly.
“Turn around,” Dina said while smiling widely.
Y/N spun around to see Luke, his brother, and some of his friends standing near the stands. A sudden gasp fell from her lips as she instantly jogged towards him. Luke walked towards her, his arms were held outwards as he was waiting for her. She leaped into his arms as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he wrapped his arms around the center of her back.
“I thought—” she mumbled as she glided her fingers through his hair. “I’ve missed you so fucking much,” she whispered against his ear.
“I’ve missed you too, baby,” he whispered as she pulled back, meeting his gaze. Leaning towards him, she kissed him urgently. He hummed against her lips as she glided her hands towards his cheeks. She pulled back as she opened her eyes to meet his gaze.
“You have a game later,” she mumbled as he slowly lowered her to the ground. He kept his hands loosely on her frame as he looked deeply into her eyes.
“I don’t know how often I’ll get to see you play in person anymore so I had to come and see you,” he mumbled. She grinned widely before she leaned towards him and pressed her lips against his. She pulled away as she rested her hands onto his chest. “Also these guys have never been to a volleyball game so I dragged them along,” he explained.
She smiled as he guided her towards the three guys behind him. “Hey Y/N,” Jack muttered as he awkwardly held his hand up waving discreetly.
“Baby, this is Johnny and Dawson, this is Y/N, my girlfriend,” he explained.
“Nice to meet you guys,” she offered as Luke kept a protective hold on her waist. “Hopefully we can put on a good game,” she expressed as she took deep breath. Luke leaned down and delicately pressed his lips to the top of her head.
There was another loud whistle. “Go get ‘em, Laser,” he mumbled as she looked up and met his gaze. Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers briefly.
“I love you,” she whispered before she jogged back towards her teammates. Luke stepped back, watching her jog away. Luke had a soft smile on his lips as he continued to watch her.
“Laser?” Jack asked while chuckling.
“You’ll see,” Luke let out as he pointed towards the stands as he continued to admire his beautiful girl.
#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes imagines#luke hughes fanfic#luke hughes#nhl imagines#nhl#nhl x reader#nhl fic#hockey#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes imagines#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes imagines#jack hughes#new jersey devils x reader#new jersey devils fic#new jersey devils#nj devils
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NEEDY
in which rafe just wants to nap
fem!reader x rafe cameron
fluff
warnings!: bit of sarah shade. cameron siblings getting along (iktr 🙂↕️), reader is from the cut and kind of a pogue idk,
a/n: hiii ! first rafe fic ever and first fic since 2023 (oops...) to my spiderverse readers i will write when they give us content and when the fandom is alive. hope this fic is good and people like it. it's not the best but i'm working on other fics so give me a chance please 😣. this ones pretty short. pls let me know if you enjoyed this or if there are any spelling errors. requests are open !
masterlist
summer in the outer banks was nothing short of fun. spending most days at the beach taking in the warm sun, relaxing and cooling down in the cold water, all while hanging out with the people you love most. but fuck, did it get so hot sometimes. unbearably hot. it wasn’t enough to cool down in the water, the intense sun on skin overpowering the coolness of the ocean. it was worse at the chateau, or anywhere on the cut. only a lucky few could afford the luxury of air conditioning. fortunately, you had a super awesome hot rich boyfriend with a mansion with air conditioning that ran 24/7.
you laid in bed with the youngest cameron sibling, helping her with online shopping for the upcoming school year. having been with rafe for just a couple months, you had become close with his sisters. you saw sarah at the chateau with john b more than you had ever really seen her at tannyhill. therefore, when you spent time at the mansion, you typically spent time with wheezie when you got bored with rafe.
“wait, that one’s cute,” you pointed to a crop top on wheezie’s laptop which rested on her knees.
“i think i already have that one though.” she looked around her room to see if the top was among the clothes on the floor before giving up and continued scrolling through the catalogue, “i feel like these clothes are too revealing.”
“cmon wheeze! this is nothing, you just gotta get out of your shell. it’s just clothes, try something new and i don’t know, maybe you’ll like it.” you tried convincing the younger girl. over the past few months you had become like an older sister to her, as sarah spent more time with john b and the other pogues.
“my dad would never let me buy these,” she turned her head to look at you.
“just put it on rafe’s card,” you whispered, “i won’t tell.” you stuck your pinky out and wheezie quickly wrapped her pinky around yours, giggling.
as wheezie finalized her cart a familiar voice began to call out for you, “babeee! babeee where are you!”
wheezie rolled her eyes, “speak of the devil,” she muttered.
“summon him and he shall come,” you smiled at her which she returned, “i’m in wheezie’s room!” you called back. on queue, you heard obnoxiously loud stomps coming up the stairs. “he is so dramatic and for what?”
rafe stood in the doorway looking at you and his younger sister, “why’d you steal my girlfriend, wheeze?”
it was your turn to roll your eyes, “she didn’t steal me, dipshit. you were too busy ignoring me for topper and kelce and your stupid game so i came up here where i am truly loved.” you sighed, wrapping yourself around wheezie who stuck her tongue out at her older brother. in return, rafe picked up one of the shirts laying on the floor and chucked it at wheezie.
“douchebag!” she yelled.
“cmon y/n, i wanna go take a nap.”
“but i’m so comfy here!” you whined cuddling wheezie tighter.
rafe walked over to your side and quickly got on the bed, spooning you and throwing one of his long legs over your body, reaching wheezie. rafe wasn’t an affectionate brother by any means, but when he was with you he definitely softened up with everyone around you guys.
wheezie kicked her brother’s calf, “ew get your nasty dogs away from me!” but rafe didn’t budge.
“what’re you guys doing?” he mumbled looking at the laptop screen.
“y/n’s helping me shop for school.”
“why? you have enough clothes. you don’t need none of those crop tops. no boyfriends till you’re 30.” rafe stated as he viewed the clothes on the screen.
you gently smacked the leg that was on top of your own, “don’t be rude! wheezie’s not little anymore.”
“hm, whatever.” he grumbled, nuzzling his face against your neck, eyes shut as he fully enveloped you leaving no space between your bodies. his hands found yours, wasting no time to intertwine your fingers.
“get off me, fatty!” you feigned disgust, as if you weren’t enjoying every second of rafe’s neediness to cuddle.
rafe grumbled, “only if you come take a nap with me in my room.”
“fineeee, get up then,” you reached behind to gently smack his butt and he quickly got up, no effort to hide his big smile, “sorry wheeze, duty calls.” you sighed, getting up following rafe as he walked to wheezie’s door.
before walking out he turned back to wheezie and stuck his tongue out as she had done earlier. with no hesitation, wheezie returned the gesture as you smacked rafe’s head and shoved him out the door.
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fluff#obx imagine#rafe cameron#rafe cameron blurb#rafe obx
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BOUND BY BLOOD
PAIRING — yoon jeonghan x fem!reader
❝ WHO WILL YOU BE WHEN NO ONE CAN STOP YOU? ❞
WORD COUNT — 23k
SYNOPSIS — in an attempt to escape your past, you join your mother when she moves in with her soon-to-be husband at the other side of the country. the only downside is that your new stepbrother causes you to sink deeper into the rabbit hole you were so desperately trying to leave behind.
TAGS — depictions of death, dark content (stepcest + incestuous undertones), mc and jeonghan are two fucked up pervs coming together to maximize their joint slay, explicit sexual content, red hair!jeonghan, author hates her fucking writing and is a raging perfectionist, do with this information what you will!
♪ — ethel cain - family tree,, charli xcx - apple,, ruelle - monsters,, boy harsher - pain,, lana del rey - in my feelings,, unloved - danger,, twin tribes - monolith,, banks - the fall
NOTE — title is not what u think it is i promise. do keep in mind that this is just fictional and nothing more than a silly idea i wanted to make into a story, so please (!) skip if the tags make you uncomfortable <3
PROLOGUE
when he checks her pulse to see if she’s still alive, you see a single car nearing the scene, the driver of which you then recognize as the last person that should see this.
joshua hits the brakes and hurries out of the car. “i saw you drive off like crazy, what the hell happened—”
his words are caught in his throat when he sees the body.
“shua. she’s gone.” your voice is strained as the sobs remain choked-up in your throat, your shaky hands tugging at his arm.
tears well up in his eyes. “what the—how did this happen?”
jeonghan forces himself to sound remotely shaken up. “i just drove here and she ran in front of the car. it was an accident, i swear.”
but a part of joshua doesn’t buy it. “out of nowhere? what the fuck is this, jeonghan? are you lying to me?”
“no. i swear to you—”
but he doesn’t let him finish. “this is insane. we have to do something, tell the cops what happened here, and with her brother—”
it’s then that jeonghan’s softer approach fades into something meaner. he pushes him against the hood of the car, trying to talk some sense into him. “and what do you think the cops will say, huh? you think they’ll just smile at you for fessing up and let you walk out freely? you’re an accomplice to murder, shua. everyone you know will hate you. this will haunt your name for the rest of your life ― get it into your thick skull once and for all.”
joshua’s breathing quickens with his sobs. “i can’t deal with this the way you can. i can’t do it.”
“you can, and you will.” he grabs his face, wiping the fresh tears away. “you just have to breathe, and you deny. you deny everything. you were not here, okay? i need you to go home, she and i will fix this.”
“you can’t keep making me go through this. how many more deaths do i need to have on my conscience?”
jeonghan shakes his head calmly, embracing him, his one hand on the back of joshua’s neck. “it’s not your fault, shua. it’ll be okay, promise.”
I. STRANGERS
[ SEVERAL MONTHS EARLIER ]
your mother has always had a habit of moving from relationship to relationship. the passing of your father, which happened when you were too young to remember, left her trying to find something in the men around her you highly doubted she ever would.
but that changed a few weeks ago. because apparently, she’s finally found herself a man she wants to stay with. or so she told you. you’ll have to take her word for it.
the one wish of yours she’s always respected was to keep her boyfriends away from you — the last thing you wanted was some guy trying to be a father figure, and since her frequent relationships were often short-lived, there wasn’t really a point to getting to know them. seeing as you departed from home for your freshman year of college nearly two years ago, it’s no surprise that you were barely able to keep up with your mom’s romantic life.
when you arrived home for the summer break, she told you she finally found someone she was madly in love with, happily showing off the shiny diamond sitting on her finger. her fiancé is apparently some rich man living a few hours away, in a huge house at the outskirts of the city.
she initially didn’t expect or plan for you to come live there with her, nor for you to transfer to a different university, though she figured it must’ve been because of what happened last year.
nevertheless, she was happy to have you with her.
and now, two days before starting your third year at a different school, you’re seated in the backseat of the rolls-royce with your mother, and all you can do is stare out the window while the car pulls through the tall gates.
the place is even bigger than you were expecting — a manor straight out of the movies. the last sunbeams of august shine on your face through the glass window as you gaze to the outside.
well, you suppose living here for a little while before you find your own place isn’t the worst thing in the world.
you’ve only met your mother’s future husband once prior to the engagement. you remember he introduced himself as the owner of a successful international hotel franchise. he’s not too bad, clearly doing his best to not act like a father to you whilst simultaneously trying to show you that you’re more than welcome.
once you’ve arrived and said your greetings, your mother looks around for a moment. “where’s your son? is he inside?” she asks, but her fiancé sighs in disappointment.
“no, his flight was delayed, unfortunately, so he’s staying there for the night. he’ll be home tomorrow.”
right, you almost forgot. the fiancé has a son who’s a couple months younger than you, and since university is only twenty minutes away from the house, he still lives here as well.
yeah, you’re not looking too forward to meeting the guy. your mom hasn’t met him yet either, nor do you have any idea what he looks like, but from what she’s told you, he’s around your age, wicked smart, and friendly.
as you go inside the house, you quickly realize that your mother managed to land herself a man with a massive bank account. expensive chandeliers, marble tiled floors with big carpets that don’t have a speck of dirt on them, staff that’s taking your belongings upstairs — you’re impressed.
a member of said staff shows you to your room, which could honestly be considered an apartment, given its size. aside from the spacious bed that could easily fit three people, the room is decorated with dim lighting, big glass windows with a view of the courtyard, a fireplace, and your own private walk-in closet and bathroom.
well, shit. maybe you should just ask your mom if her future husband would pay your tuition as well.
despite getting to sleep in the most beautiful room you’ve ever seen, your first night in the manor is restless, and you arrive at university with tired eyes, hoping the caffeine will kick in soon.
traffic was so shitty that you’re now running late as well, so you rush to the elevators to get to your class in time.
you have a lecture scheduled on the seventh floor, yet you don’t see the number on the display, and you don’t particularly feel like walking up a ridiculous number of stairs.
“you gotta be fucking kidding me.”
you look down at your phone to see if you got the number right, only to be greeted by a guy with dark hair and tiny silver hoop earrings standing beside you, clearly looking you in the eye. “everything okay?”
“i just—i’m new, and i gotta get to the seventh floor, and i don’t understand why this elevator doesn’t go there—”
he quickly interrupts you. “we have two elevator blocks. this one is for even-numbered floors, you need the other one. c’mon, i’ll show you.”
you walk after him, passing two corners before getting to the elevators that take you to the odd-numbered floors. he presses the button, gesturing to the free elevator about to go up.
“thanks for the help. you got a class too?”
“yeah. ninth floor, though,” he replies, smiling at you, “i’m joshua, by the way.”
joshua’s hair is neatly gelled back with one or two strands hanging out at the front. you notice his slightly red lips, strong jawline, and gentle smile.
the door of the elevator opens again, and you realize you’ve already made it to your stop.
“sorry, i gotta go. it was nice meeting you.” you tell him before getting out, failing to introduce yourself.
you faintly hear him say bye as you head into the lecture hall, a big sigh escaping you once you’re finally seated.
your first day consists of a lecture of two hours followed by a regular class of three hours. the experience of a long first day in a constantly crowded space has made you both anxious and tired, so you go outside, stumbling upon a secluded spot between the buildings you’ve had class in today.
it’s the quietest place you’ve come across so far. it allows you to take a breather, a moment to yourself in the hot mess that’s been the past couple weeks, if not months.
although you don’t smoke often, you do have a pack of cigarettes sitting in your bag — and you find yourself reaching for it. unfortunately, your lighter doesn’t really seem to be working today, and you can’t help but groan in annoyance. “fucking hell—”
“you know that’s against the rules, right?”
when you look to the side, you spot some guy standing across from you, his hands sitting in his pockets as if he’s got all the time in the world to have this conversation with you.
a snarky reply works its way out of your throat. “what, you planning to rat me out?”
he pretends to think about it for a moment. “wouldn’t be a lot of fun if i did that, right?”
all you do is shrug your shoulders as you attempt to light your cigarette again, but he suddenly stretches his arm out, holding up his own lighter to let him do it for you.
the gesture makes you stare at him from under your brows for a few seconds, but he doesn’t move a muscle, waiting for you to accept.
so you slightly lean forward, allowing him to light it, and he looks at you with a certain level of intrigue.
he’s got something interesting about him, aside from the fact that he’s ridiculously handsome. his hair is dyed in the shade of a dark red — burgundy, in this bright sunlight — where you guess his natural hair color must be a dark brown, given the color of his eyebrows.
while he’s not the tallest guy you’ve seen here so far, he still sticks out above you, his long legs and lean physique doing enough to make him appear quite tall. he wears a lazy smirk like it’s his default expression, and you’ll give it to him — if he was trying to get your attention, it worked.
he leans against the wall, watching you exhale the smoke. “i don’t think i’ve seen you around. are you a first-year?”
“there’s thousands of people attending here. of course you haven’t seen me before.”
“how straightforward of you.”
“do you prefer small talk?”
the corner of his lips curl up. “i don’t. my question still stands, though.”
“i’m in my third year. just transferred.”
“well, i guess you fit right in. this is the place where i always come to get away from everyone else.”
“is this your way of telling me i gotta go elsewhere next time?”
“took the words right out of my mouth.” the chuckle he lets out sounds low and relaxed. “no, you can come here and join me whenever you want. only if you’re good company, of course.”
you finally take the bait of engaging in the conversation with him and roll your eyes. “sorry to disappoint.”
“i doubt you’d disappoint me.”
“oh, please. you don’t even know me.”
“i do now.” jesus christ — does he always talk like that? like he knows more than you do? “but, if you want me to get to know you, you should tell me your name.”
his gaze becomes surprisingly intense in the blink of an eye, and something suddenly weighs down your body like feet glued to the floor. “i’d love to stay and chat, but i have a class to get to. i’m sure i’ll see you around, though.”
he hums in a bit of a smug way, as if he can look directly into your thoughts and see what you’re thinking. you feel his eyes burning in your back as you walk away from him, into the building, and you force yourself to regain your composure.
several hours later, just in time for dinner, you get back to the house, utterly drained.
the living room has dark walls with a few shiny brown bookcases that reach the ceiling, a comfortable sofa and several other chairs. if anything, the house is styled with rich, darker colors, creating a moody atmosphere, especially at night with the dim lighting.
your mother calls out to you once she notices you standing there. “honey, come here and introduce yourself, will you?”
she’s standing next to her fiancé, but there’s another person with them, whose back is facing you — and you suddenly spot the color of his hair.
when he turns around to face you, it feels as if the air is knocked out of your lungs.
you can’t be serious.
it’s so ridiculously cliché that part of you wants to laugh. what the fuck are the odds of the guy you met earlier today becoming your stepbrother?
though judging by the way his face falls, he was just as unaware of your identity as you were of his. not for long, of course — that damned grin is back on his face in seconds.
he takes a few steps over to you, extending his hand to formally introduce himself, as if you didn’t meet hours before. “i’m jeonghan.”
you stare at him with a deep frown but play along nonetheless, so you shake his hand, curtly saying your own name in response. he repeats it to himself with a softer voice than before, and you hate that you like the way your name sounds when he says it.
then you look down, realizing he’s still holding your hand, and you almost push him away, trying to act like his presence doesn’t affect you in any way whatsoever.
dinner goes by achingly slowly. your mother is being all social and just so damn eager to get to know her future stepson, asking him questions, clearly taking a liking towards him.
jeonghan tells her all kinds of stories, making sure to infuse his words with all the charm he’s probably got in that frail body of his. as you watch from the sidelines, you can tell he knows exactly what she’d like him to be, and he plays the role wonderfully.
well-mannered, friendly, charming, intelligent. he gives your mother subtle yet sickeningly sweet compliments and she just eats it all up.
every now and then, he glances at you, even shamelessly eyeing your chest up and down.
you hate that you’re still intrigued by him.
he asks you questions as well — small talk, of course. probably just for show. your answers are shorter than necessary, and he quickly notices you don’t feel like talking at all.
once dessert is over, you excuse yourself, saying you still have some work to do for tomorrow, and you exit the room immediately to ensure your mother isn’t able to protest.
the sound of footsteps behind you makes you quicken your pace up the stairs.
as you’re walking down the hall, heading to your room, his familiar voice pops up from behind you. “you should’ve just told me your name.”
of course he’s the one going after you.
you scoff at him. “wouldn’t have changed anything.”
jeonghan has his hands sitting in his pockets when he steps towards you. “you would’ve known who i was.”
“did you know who i was?”
“i didn’t, actually. when my dad told me i’d be getting a sister, i didn’t know what to expect.”
“sister?” the way you say it makes it sound like an insult. perhaps it is in this case. “we’re just strangers. nothing more than that.”
oh, jeonghan already likes you much more than he anticipated. there’s a certain sharpness to every single thing that comes out of your mouth ― you’re surprisingly cold. he wonders if you do it on purpose.
“such hostility.” he remarks, enjoying the fact that he’s standing so close to you.
“maybe i just don’t like you.”
“maybe. but you’re not all that talkative with my dad either, nor do you seem to plan on it.”
“so?”
“so, for someone who voluntarily came with her mom to live with complete strangers, you don’t come across as willing to bond with anyone. unless that’s not what you’re here for, of course.”
“what are you saying?”
“you’re a smart girl. if you already built a life for yourself in another place, why come here? you don’t seem ecstatic to be part of a new family.”
“i wanted the change.”
“did you?”
“yes. what does it matter?”
jeonghan won’t outright tell you he finds it strange you get so hostile when asked about your reasons for coming here. “i’m just curious.”
“has anyone ever told you it’s impolite to poke your nose into other people’s business?”
“if you’re going to hide something, at least come up with a better lie.”
waiting for you to respond, he resists the urge to bite his lip, and the two of you stare at each other for a moment, a palpable tension rising between you.
“look, i’m not hiding anything. i’m happy for my mom that she found someone she loves, but as for everything else that comes with it, you couldn’t pay me to care. so i suggest you go and play with someone who does.”
truth be told, you do sound convincing, but then he catches you eyeing his body, and he makes up his mind just like that.
the only person jeonghan wants to play with right now is you, and he’s not one to give up easily.
his voice is all sultry when he bids you goodnight. “good luck studying, sweetheart. i’ll see you tomorrow.”
as he walks away, you grab the handle of your door, but you still look at him going back down the hall, and you find yourself wondering what his room looks like, what he thinks of you ― and perhaps more importantly, what it is he’s planning.
II. BEWARE OF YOUR BROTHER
“hey. jeonghan. d’you know her?”
joshua points to the other side of the hall, at which his best friend curiously looks in said direction, only to find you standing there, typing away at your phone while looking as bored as ever.
“why?” jeonghan asks, curious as to why joshua would ask for you, since he hasn’t yet mentioned the news of his dad’s fiancée having a daughter.
“i bumped into her last week, on monday. she’s new. i introduced myself to her but didn’t get her name ‘cause she was running late for a lecture.”
well, that’s unexpected.
of course you met both him and his best friend on the same day. fate has such a way of bringing people together, it’s laughable.
jeonghan just gestures for his friend to follow him, and the two of them walk over to you, after which he greets you. “hey, sis.”
you look up at him with pure annoyance. “i told you to stop calling me that.”
“i told you i wasn’t planning on it.” he retorts with one corner of his mouth curled upwards ― he reminds you of the cheshire cat.
joshua watches the interaction with a deep frown set into his forehead. “am i missing something here?”
“the woman my dad is marrying has a daughter. daughter being her.”
the younger of the two looks wildly surprised as he processes it. “you’re gonna be his stepsister?”
“so he likes to remind me, yes.” you answer, vaguely recognizing him. “wait, didn’t i meet you last week?”
“you did, yeah. though i didn’t catch your name.”
jeonghan watches as joshua’s tone becomes even sweeter than it already is, his smile only growing bigger once you’ve given him your name.
oh.
oh, no.
the discovery that joshua thinks you’re cute flips a switch in him. you are cute, don’t get him wrong, but he doesn’t like that his friend is looking at you that way.
“well, i gotta go to class. it was nice seeing you again, though, joshua.” you smile, proceeding to shoot your future stepbrother a glare, and he’ll take any attention you give him.
as soon as you’re out of earshot, joshua hits his shoulder. “why the hell didn’t you tell me this sooner? is she living with you?”
“well, i had other priorities. and yes, she is.”
“i can’t believe she’s gonna be your sister. what’s she like? she doesn’t seem to wanna be around you all that much.”
“she’s distant. keeps to herself a lot.”
“so she’s awfully similar to you, then.”
similar to him? he doubts you are.
jeonghan averts his gaze to the courtyard, absentmindedly replying, “i suppose she is.”
a few days later, your mother’s scheduled an appointment for both you and jeonghan at a clothing store in the city to get your measurements taken for the wedding.
which is why jeonghan finds himself standing outside the classroom you’re currently having a lecture in. his class ended about fifteen minutes earlier than anticipated, so he figured he could just wait for you here, since you’d agreed to go to the store together and meet your mom there.
once your class is finished, the door opens, and a huge number of students walks out of the hall, passing him by. to his surprise, though, he hasn’t been able to spot you yet.
when it seems the last students have left, he frowns to himself. just for good measure, he peeks inside the lecture hall to check if anyone’s still inside.
the hall is almost completely empty, save for you and some other girl who’s talking to you.
but there’s something off about the conversation you’re having, because it doesn’t seem like you and her are friends ― matter of fact, you look colder than ever, and he feels the harshness of your glare even when it’s not directed at him.
but then you look his way, and he realizes he spoke too soon, because you certainly don’t seem to be softening up the slightest bit.
you abruptly walk down the stairs, moving right out of the lecture hall, blatantly ignoring him as if he’s not even there.
he turns around and follows you with a chuckle. “trouble in paradise?”
“why do you care?”
“well, i like a bit of drama.”
“i’m sure you do.”
“seriously though — you’ve been here for two weeks now and already made enemies? going for a new record?”
“why the hell were you even outside my classroom? we were supposed to meet by the entrance at the ground floor.”
“my class ended early. and you’re dodging the question.”
finally stopping in your tracks, you stare at him. that cockiness in his attitude is really starting to get on your nerves.
so you grab his arm, and he looks pleasantly surprised at the way you grab him, pulling him around the corner, away from the crowded corridor.
but then jeonghan suddenly finds himself backed into a corner ― no one has ever backed him into a corner. “what are you doing?”
your fingers glide across his double-breasted blazer, and you have such a tight hold on the fabric that it almost knocks the air out of his lungs.
the expression painted on your face is unreadable to him. cold, perhaps a bit smug, but not sharp.
“you know, i’m starting to think you have a thing for me. being unnecessarily nosy about my reasons for coming here, now listening in on my conversations… i don’t like being put under a loupe,” you shrug, “i’d prefer it if you stayed away from my private life.”
“your private life? we live in the same house.”
“we do. but the thing is ― i’ve seen what you do. observing from the sidelines, watching everyone and everything. you’re not as subtle as you think you are.”
he tilts his head. this is a challenge he’s never had before, and it actually excites him in a way. because who the fuck is this girl who’s onto him and his ways?
“is being observant a bad thing?”
“not with other people, no. with me, it is.”
“you sound self-serving.”
“i am self-serving. i’m also mean, condescending, maybe even a bitch. the only reason i’m tolerating your presence is because i have to.”
jeonghan finds your self-awareness admirable. he doesn’t move from his spot by the wall you’ve pushed him against, but he does lean his face a bit closer to yours. “see, that’s the thing, sis. you don’t have to, just like you didn’t have to move here.”
fuck. he’s got you there, and it causes you to get hostile towards him again. “stay out of my private life, jeonghan.”
“or what? afraid i’ll find something interesting?”
“we may be family now, but that doesn’t mean you can bother me as you please. everyone has secrets ― either you respect mine, or you don’t. i’m not as friendly when people pry into business that clearly isn’t theirs.”
the smug smile you have on your face is borderline provoking. it almost makes him want to pry into your business. something about the way you look at him and touch him just riles him up like nothing else.
he mirrors your expression. “are you threatening me?”
“consider it a piece of advice. it’s all your choice.” you shrug indifferently, and you shoot him a fake smile before backing away from him, heading down the hall by yourself, and jeonghan huffs, leaning his head back against the wall.
well, so much for bonding with you. he’ll admit that perhaps he’s been a bit too persistent in his teasing ― for all he knows, you could’ve been deeply unhappy back home. he should probably hold back on pushing you about your past for now. maybe you’ll even start liking him at some point. even if you haven’t shown much interest in him, he certainly finds you interesting, and he’d like to become closer with you.
and besides, he’s not one to back down from a challenge.
the ride to the store is completely silent. neither of you bother to say a word to each other, and upon your arrival, your mother happily greets you both, pushing you inside the luxurious shop. an employee smiles at you, handing you all a glass of champagne.
it’s a little early in the day, but fuck it. calming your nerves a bit would do you good.
while jeonghan gets his measurements taken, your mother tells you to pick out a few dresses you like, mainly to see what style of dress you’d like to wear to the wedding. once you’ve decided on something, you’ll be getting one custom-made, tailored to your body, all courtesy of jeonghan’s father.
eventually, once they’re done with jeonghan ― since he’s wearing a simple suit to the wedding ― he plops down on one of the soft, velvet chairs, scrolling through his phone, only putting it down when he hears you stepping out of the changing room to show the piece you’ve put on.
by the time you’re changing into your fourth dress, your mother mentions she’ll just quickly head into the bathroom, and once she’s gone, he hears you call out from inside the changing room. “mom! can you zip me up? i think it might be stuck halfway.”
he doesn’t hesitate to walk up to you, pushing the curtain to the side, but it’s only when you notice it’s him doing it that you jump in your spot.
“what the hell are you doing?” you ask with furrowed brows, and he motions for you to turn around.
“your mom went to the bathroom, so the only one currently around to fix your zipper is me.”
you scoff. “well, aren’t i lucky.”
jeonghan tells himself not to focus on your deep cleavage, so he looks down to where his hands are.
as he gently tries to get the zipper to move, since a piece of fabric seems stuck in it, he bites his lip. “i thought about what you said, and i… i think we may have started off on the wrong foot. i’ve been pestering you for… no real reason. sorry about that.”
you’re certainly surprised by the change in approach — but you’re not exactly trusting. “does this mean you’ll stop asking about it?”
“yeah, i will. promise.”
“okay. in that case, i should apologize for being a little too hostile. when something upsets me, i get mean. sorry.”
he lets out a low chuckle, finally managing to separate the fabric from the zipper. “don’t worry. i can handle a mean girl.”
his hand pushes your hair over your shoulder to avoid getting it caught before slowly zipping you up, and the sensation of his cold fingers brushing past your warm skin makes you shiver.
“turn around.” he says, and you raise your hands, not expecting him to compliment you, but jeonghan appears to be full of surprises. “this color looks pretty on you.”
with a raised brow, you say, “don’t push it.”
he laughs at your response, “i’m serious. really, you do. aren’t i supposed to be your overly honest brother?”
unfortunately, he is.
so you cross your arms. “what’d you think of the other dresses?”
“that second one was terrible. you still looked gorgeous, though.”
the comment comes so unexpected that it renders you speechless for a moment, which makes him smirk in satisfaction again.
when the curtain suddenly whips open behind him, you both turn to your mother, who appears ecstatic to hear her ever-so-charming future stepson is being so helpful to her daughter already.
which makes jeonghan figure she must’ve missed the way he’s been eyeing your curves in every single dress you’ve shown so far, just as she’s been missing how your cheeks heat up when you catch him staring at you with that glass of champagne still sitting in his hand.
it’s all you’re able to think about during the ride home, and the rest of the evening.
the house is huge, yet it feels empty when jeonghan isn’t home. he left to go meet up with some friends for dinner after you were done at the store, and you find yourself restless over the things he said today.
you have difficulty trusting people, and you probably shouldn’t trust a guy like him, yet a part of you wants to ― badly, for whatever reason.
it’s the middle of the night when you reach for your bathroom cabinet to get some aspirin, and you come to the realization that you forgot to buy a new pack, so your only option is to either suck it up or head down to the kitchen.
in a white tank top and loose-fitted sweatpants, you quietly make your way down the stairs, huffing when you see all the different cabinets you’re still not used to. it takes you a few minutes of searching until you stumble upon the drawer with medicine, and you take the new pack to smuggle it to your own room.
“what’re you doing?”
the voice behind you popping out of nowhere nearly gives you a heart attack. “jesus fucking christ―can you stop?”
“stop what? i just walked in.” jeonghan replies in the same tone, grabbing your lower arms as if to make sure you remain standing. “i thought you’d be asleep, not ransacking a kitchen drawer.”
“i was supposed to be asleep, but i got a headache. obviously.”
he watches you gesture to the strip of aspirin on the counter and lets out a noise of understanding. “want me to make you a cup of tea? it might help you sleep.”
if you weren’t so tired already, you’d let him, but you shake your head. “no, it’s fine. thanks for offering though. you had a fun night?”
“yeah. maybe you should come with next time. i’m sure my friends would like you.” he almost makes the mistake of mentioning joshua asked for you, remembering to keep that to himself.
there’s something you’re dying to ask him, and you decide to just do it, since he’s standing in front of you anyways.
“are you being this nice to me ‘cause you like me or just for the sake of your father’s marriage?”
he doesn’t reply right away, grabbing a bottle of juice from the fridge first. “my father’s been in serious relationships with other women before. i never cared much for them or their families. does that answer your question?”
“somewhat.”
“you don’t sound convinced.”
“that’s ‘cause you’re not convincing.”
jeonghan’s buttons are easily pushed, at times. you like pushing him.
he smiles to himself, averting his gaze for a moment, only looking back at you once he’s significantly closed the distance between your bodies. “i like you. a lot, actually, even though you’ve mostly just been cussing me out.”
“which you probably deserved.”
“i guess so.” he hums playfully, and you mimic his mannerisms, nearly skipping over the fact that this is the closest you’ve stood to him since meeting each other.
part of you wants him to be even closer.
then his gaze moves down, and you follow it.
even though the top you’re wearing isn’t see-through, its fabric is thin, and you didn’t put on a bra before leaving your room because you didn’t expect you’d be running into anyone, especially not him.
as soon as you realize he’s looking at your breasts, you cover your chest, immediately scolding him. “oh my god, you’re such a pervert.”
of course, he’s hardly impressed, not appearing to care in the slightest that you caught him staring. “cussing me out again? really?”
“i’m heading up to my room. don’t even think about following me.”
“well, shoot. there go my plans for the night.” he remarks, grinning at you. “sleep tight, sis.”
“yeah, whatever. night, hannie.”
hannie. that’s cute. he doesn’t think you’ve ever called him that before.
once you’re gone from his field of view, he bites his lower lip, unable to wipe that damn expression off his face as he thinks of you.
he can’t get enough.
III. WHO IS NOT WITHOUT SIN?
despite being an adult, your mother’s authority still has a hold on you sometimes.
which is why instead of being in bed all morning like you’d planned, you’re currently in a grand church, seated on a bench in the back of the spacious hall with jeonghan next to you.
your parents were adamant on sitting near the front, but when you were walking into the hall just ten minutes ago, it was jeonghan who quickly grabbed you by your arm so that you and him could sit in the back together, and you’re honestly thankful for it.
it’s only been a few weeks since he told you he’d stop bothering you with questions about your past and start being nice to you, and so far, he’s kept his promise.
you wouldn’t say you fully trust him yet, but you definitely are growing fond of him. he’s been showing you around the city, taking you out to lunch, studying with you in the library at university, and it’d be a lie to say you haven’t enjoyed every second of it.
physical touch is clearly a habit of his with people he’s close to — joshua, his father on occasion, as well as some of his other friends he’s introduced you to.
for some reason, you’re always hyper-aware when someone touches you, and you have to admit, he does a great job at easing into the physical contact. it started with some simple touches on your shoulders and upper arms, slowly but smoothly continuing, allowing his hands to sit on your waist and lower back.
and he enjoys the dynamic he has going on with you. it’s mostly lots of sarcastic comments, teasing and joking around, but there’s moments where you just quietly appreciate the other’s presence.
with a sigh, you don’t know if you’re talking to yourself, or him. “i have no idea what i’m doing here. i’m not even catholic. pretty sure my mom isn’t, either.”
“no? not a fan of monotonous singing in a cold hall on sunday mornings?”
a scoff escapes you, followed by a sarcastic quip. “such a way with words, brother dearest.”
jeonghan shrugs, as if he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing. “maybe you should pretend to be sick next time our parents want us to tag along. i’ll have no other option but to stay home and take care of you.”
is it so wrong of him to want you all to himself?
“creative.” you mutter with a grin, simultaneously hiding the effect his words have on your body.
he only gives you that mischievous smile, looking at you from the corner of his eye, and you can’t resist the soft chuckles escaping you.
not much later, he’s sitting closer to you, using it as an excuse to whisper in your ear. “me and my dad aren’t catholic either. i’m guessing it’s just about appearances.”
“of course,” you roll your eyes, “maybe they wanna get married here and this is their way of checking it out.”
jeonghan, very selfishly, doesn’t want to think about his father and your mother getting married. he just smiles at you as a way to conceal his true feelings, and all he can think about is that he should’ve met you first, that you should’ve been his.
so he averts his gaze, attempting to focus on whatever the pastor is saying, hoping it’ll take his mind off it.
the preaching is grim and anything but welcoming. words like hell and damnation are thrown around numerous times in a speech that feels almost like it’s spoken in a foreign language, and he hates it — he hates being here.
but perhaps not as much as you do.
“we must and will all pay for our sins, one way or another—” the pastor’s voice rings through your ears. his words keep replaying in your head, and it begins to make you feel dizzy, heavy existential suffering overtaking your chest, like a loud scream being pushed down but fighting to work its way up your throat.
you have to stop thinking about it.
you have to let it go.
jeonghan takes notice of your change in body language. where you were previously hardly moving a muscle, your breathing has become irregular, chest rising and falling more visibly, and you’re digging your nails into the skin of your thigh.
what he’d do to know what’s going on in that head of yours.
he puts his hand just above your knee to comfort you, and when you look up at him with almost disturbed eyes, all you find in his gaze is — understanding.
jeonghan doesn’t know what it is you’re hiding from him, but he figures you must’ve done something wrong in your past, if this is your reaction to the speech currently being given.
but he’s done wrong too.
his palm is still resting comfortably on your bare skin, and your shaky hand reaches out for his instinctively; it feels so right. instead of letting you put your hand on top of his, he raises it to hold yours, intertwining your fingers.
when you look at him with the corners of your mouth downturned and eyes glossy, your hand clenching his like you need it as much as you need to breathe, he chooses not to give a damn whether your parents choose to get married or not.
he’ll be there for you when you need it — he’ll make you his.
the mass is over before you know it, and as you’ve just walked out of the church, you spot your mother excitedly chatting away with her fiancé, not paying you any mind.
jeonghan catches up with you and gently puts his hand on your lower back. “are you okay?”
blinking a few times, you nod, trying to sound more cheerful than you are. “yeah. it was just… getting to me, is all. i don’t know why.”
but even you know the excuse is not gonna fly with him. he knows you’re hiding something — but he refuses to press you any more than he already has. “i want you to know that… you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. but i’m here for you, okay? i want you to be happy.”
god, you could actually cry.
the words affect you, and you move to hug him, which he embraces like his life depends on it. “thanks, hannie.”
“anytime, sweetheart,” he mumbles into your shoulder, his heart racing when he realizes this is the first time you’ve hugged him like this, and that’s special to him.
the two of you hold one another for a little longer until you release him, and you loop your arm through his. “i’m drained after hearing that speech. wanna go get coffee?”
“you read my mind.”
leaving your parents behind, jeonghan takes you with him, hoping to spend the rest of his day with you.
the café you’ve just arrived at is relatively small, with a few people seated on the terrace outside and an older couple inside. jeonghan urges you to sit down at one of the tables and relax ― he figures you might like that after getting upset in the church.
with your go-to order already in mind, he goes up to the counter to order for both of you, and you’re staring at the people passing by on the sidewalk until a high-pitched shriek pulls you out of it.
“jeonghan? oh my god! it’s been so long, how are you?” the girl at the counter says cheerfully to him, and he’s pretty sure she would’ve pulled him in for a hug if it weren’t for the counter separating them. “i almost didn’t recognize you with the red hair! suits you, though.”
he gives her a polite smile in return. “i wanted the change, i guess.”
“what can i get you?”
“a regular cappuccino and a decaf, please.”
“oh, you got company?”
“girl by the window.”
her expression falters a bit. “is she your date?”
a question he’d prefer not to answer, really. she doesn’t need to know you’re the stepsister he has a massive crush on, so he just gives a vague answer like he always does. “something like that.”
she seems intrigued but refrains from asking any further questions. “alright. you got a stamp card?”
about three minutes later, he puts two cups of coffee on your table, sitting down across from you.
“thanks.” you mention, and jeonghan notices just a slight difference in your behavior. “the barista, is she a friend?”
jeonghan puts two and two together ― or so he thinks ― before taking a first tentative sip of his coffee. “her name’s bitna. we went to high school together.”
“oh, i know her name. she’s in my class, unfortunately.” you mumble mostly to yourself, but he hears it, gesturing for you to tell him more. “you remember when you saw me arguing with a girl before we went to the store a while back? it’s her i was arguing with.”
that raises questions in him. “what was she bothering you for?”
“fuck if i know. she was pressuring me about my reason for transferring, i just… i don’t know.”
“if she bothers you again, just come to me. i’ll deal with her.”
“well, contrary to how she spoke to me, she seemed pretty excited to see you.”
“well, this was our first time seeing each other in two or three years. but she’s always been… expressive.”
“ah.” you hum, averting your gaze when you take your cup, secretly cheering that she’s not some girl he’s seeing. when he taps his fingers on the surface, you watch him leaning forward over the small, wooden table.
“not jealous, are you, sis?” he asks you with a brief quirk of his brow, and you shrug.
“what should i be jealous of?”
“you? nothing. ‘cause you already have me,” he drawls, “from what a friend told me, bitna liked me when we were still in school together, but i highly doubt she still does. i mean, it’s been years.”
“you didn’t like her back?”
“nope. not my type.”
“so what is your type?”
a few strands of his dark red hair dangle before his eyelids when he looks up at you from under his brows. “i don’t know. i don’t think i’ve ever been in love.” but maybe he is now.
even though he doesn’t say the last part out loud, it’s like you can still hear it, and the way he looks at you ― god, has anyone ever looked at you like that?
the silent eye contact speaks volumes, and he moves to stick out his index finger, pointing at your cup. “i think your coffee might be getting a bit cold.”
rolling your eyes at his attempt of taking your attention off him, he just chuckles, and while you and him enjoy each other’s company, you fail to notice how the barista has barely taken her eyes off the two of you since jeonghan sat down.
two weeks pass by, and as your mother’s wedding approaches, you try to ignore the growing feelings for your stepbrother.
you thought it’d go away if you repressed it as much as you could.
which was a big mistake to think. huge.
the relationship you have with jeonghan becomes more complicated by the day. people around you, especially your parents, encourage you and him to bond like a brother and sister would, they even seem to act like you are related in that way — even though you most certainly aren’t — but whenever you’re alone with him, it’s completely different.
every touch you give each other feels more intimate, every kiss he presses to your cheek gets closer to your lips. with every passing day, the boundaries of what should be a familial connection get pushed further, the lines blurring.
and it, frankly, drives you insane.
jeonghan hasn’t directly expressed how he feels about you ― not that you have either, for that matter ― but the way he acts around you and talks to you feels like he’s definitely insinuating it, and you’re not sure how much longer you can keep it up.
but you have to, because he can’t be anything but a brother to you.
is it really that selfish of you to just want to have him kiss you? just once?
“honey, it’d be great if you could focus on standing still and upright.” your mother’s stern voice suddenly rings through your ears, shaking you awake from your thoughts.
“right. sorry.” you mutter, glancing at the dressing mirror in front of you. on your bare feet, you’re standing on a small, round display platform so the two assistants of the designer can perfectly see whether the dress you’re gonna be wearing to the wedding fits well and if it needs any adjustments.
the dark navy satin dress just about reaches your knees, and you have to admit ― you feel very pretty in it.
“the waist just needs to be stitched a bit tighter; it’ll enhance her features more.”
“i agree. we could also adjust the straps a bit.”
the assistants converse with your mother about their thoughts, and they follow her out of the living room not much later, leaving you in the same spot, admiring how the dress hugs your curves in the mirror since you’re by yourself anyways ― though not for long.
jeonghan, who’s just arrived home, peeks around the corner, and he leans against the doorframe to gaze at you, even if you’ve already spotted him.
“that dress is gorgeous on you.”
turning around to look at him, you smile at the compliment. “you think?”
he nods, taking a few steps over to you. “i do. looks like the bottom is a bit twisted, though.”
then you face forward again, to the mirror in front of you, and you watch as he’s standing behind you, feeling him tug at the fabric a little as he fixes the back of your dress.
goosebumps erupt on your arms when he suddenly touches your skin. the way his fingers slide from above the knee to your upper thigh is slow, and his voice is a lot closer to you than before.
“how does that feel?” he whispers, lips brushing past your ear, and you make eye contact with him in the mirror, your back pressed against his front.
you have to force yourself not to squeeze your legs together to give yourself some friction. the way he teases you has you aching to be touched. “feels… good.”
ironically, he needs to force himself to have self-restraint more than you do right now. he wants nothing more than to just rip that fabric off your body and get on his knees to taste you, but he can’t. he shouldn’t.
you’re the forbidden fruit, after all.
“i’ve thought about doing this since the day i met you. wrong of me, right?” he rasps, the cold metal of the silver ring sitting around his index finger causing you to shiver.
“yeah—you shouldn’t.” you tell him, yet you grab his arm and lean into his touch, allowing him to roam your body.
if anything, the way you give in to him like this only gets him hotter. “where do you want me to touch you?”
“hannie…”
the nickname has him inhaling sharply, “answer me.”
swallowing, you give him what he wants. “higher.”
your wish is his command — so he moves his fingers up higher, towards your underwear, and you let out a soft gasp, which nearly has him moaning in your ear.
then he rubs over your clothed pussy, and when you lean your head back, on his shoulder, he presses kisses all over your neck and cheek.
with a low voice, he whispers, “you’d let me have you right here, right now? when anyone could walk in?”
when you hum in response, he wonders how the hell he managed to come across a girl this perfect.
he pushes your underwear to the side and watches your lips part as he slides two of his fingers into you.
feeling you squeeze around his fingers makes him ridiculously hard in his jeans. “that’s it, pretty girl. relax for me.”
the gasps leaving your mouth are hot and erotic. hearing his breathing get louder and uneven turns you on even more, and you can only imagine the idea of having his cock inside you instead of his fingers — god, what you’d do to have him in your bed.
his eyes remain on your face. he thinks you just look so fucking pretty when your eyes roll back in pleasure, and it makes him want to drop everyone and everything just to be able to keep watching you like this.
right when he’s about to add another finger, you hear your mother’s voice approaching again, and jeonghan steps away from you, hiding his hands behind his back.
your mother looks surprised at the sight of her stepson standing near you but forgets about it once she notices your red cheeks.
“everything okay, honey? you look like you’re burning up.”
all you can do is stumble out an excuse. “yeah, i’m fine. just, uh… is it warm in here? it’s warm in here.”
she only raises a brow but continues talking to the assistants about the changes to your dress, and jeonghan subtly backs away from you, shooting you a satisfied grin.
it’s hard not to catch the smirk on his face when he leaves the room, sucking the taste of you from his wet fingers once no one but you is looking at him.
when he’s actually gone, you realize what just happened — he didn’t just make a move, he actually went as far as to touch you.
fuck.
IV. SUCCUMB TO YOUR GREED
much to your frustration, you’ve hardly seen jeonghan since he stuck his fingers in you.
he went on a trip to the other side of the country for one of his courses, which took four days, and he only got back from said trip last week. while you’ve seen him around at certain moments since his return, it’s only been briefly or when your parents were in the room.
so, to put it shortly, you pretty much haven’t talked about it.
if anything, nothing has changed in his behavior towards you. he’s still as smug and sarcastic as ever — you’d think nothing happened.
reality begins to kick in when your parents announce they’ll be getting married in a mere two weeks, and the smile you have on your face is so utterly fake that it almost hurts.
all you can think of is how much you want him to yourself.
later that night, when your parents have gone to bed, you head into the kitchen for a snack, and jeonghan stands there, downing a glass of alcohol, it seems.
he lazily eyes you as you come up to him, and you turn the bottle to read the label. “whiskey? pretty sure you shouldn’t be drinking that like you’re doing a shot of vodka.”
“i know. if i’m drinking like this, it’s to get drunk. or at least tipsy.”
“by yourself? at home? you’re not secretly an alcoholic, are you?”
he rolls his eyes with a huff, pinching at your skin, at which you laugh and push him away. “no, i’m not. just wanna stop my mind from racing.”
“is something bothering you?”
he can’t stand how pretty you look, even in the darkness of the kitchen.
“yes.”
“wanna talk about it?”
“no.” he responds, and he swears he finds something of disappointment in your features.
his sweet girl ― how could he not give in?
the glass hits the countertop with a clink when he puts it away. jeonghan moves in to kiss you with full force, his hand behind your head to make sure it doesn’t hurt when your back hits the fridge.
what kills him is that you immediately kiss him back, because this is all he wants. you.
when he pulls away, his lips are swollen and tainted with your lip balm. your hands are on the back of his neck, and he has his one hand on the side of yours, thumb sitting underneath your jaw.
your heavy breathing matches his, and you lean in to kiss him again, but he hesitantly stops you — as if he needs to restrain both of you from letting this get out of hand.
“i’m sorry.” he has to push the words out, letting go of you, grabbing the bottle of whiskey and its matching glass before disappearing from the kitchen.
in disbelief of what just happened, you can only blink, dumbfounded.
the kiss is all you can think about whenever you see him the following days. despite everything that’s happened between you when you were alone, neither of you has brought it up, nor has your behavior towards each other changed in any way.
perhaps it’s the lavish wedding your mother’s so busy with that you can barely even think about it properly. the two weeks pass by so fast that you begin to process it on the day of the event itself, and just like that, you’re standing beside jeonghan by the church’s altar, watching with a blank stare as his father says the vows you couldn’t care less about.
what you do care about, though, is how criminally dashing your stepbrother looks in his suit, which matches with your dress. you can’t help yourself, glancing at him from the corner of your eye every now and then, and when he momentarily shifts his weight from one leg to the other, he purposefully brushes past your leg.
as your parents walk down the aisle together after being pronounced husband and wife, everyone’s attention being on them, jeonghan leans down to whisper in your ear, “we’re officially brother and sister now.”
“lucky me.”
he plays with your earring for a moment until you swat his hand away. “oh, don’t act as if you don’t like me.”
“i find you highly annoying, actually.”
“whatever makes you sleep at night, pretty girl.”
he’s given you so many compliments at this point that you’re able to hide the redness of your cheeks, but it still makes you feel like a schoolgirl getting praised by her crush on the inside.
all you can do is ache for him. have you ever pined for someone like this? you doubt it.
the wedding and everything that comes with it goes by smoothly, just as planned — except for your own agenda.
maybe it was selfish of you to hope that jeonghan would touch you again during the night of the wedding.
but he still hasn’t. and it’s starting to piss you off. first he nearly has sex with you, then radio silence, then he kisses you, followed by radio silence again — and you’re planning to find out just how far you need to go to make him cave.
it’s only a week later when the perfect opportunity arises, all courtesy of joshua.
would you consider yourself a party girl? once a month, maybe. you overall like to stay in more, but you welcome the occasional night of letting loose.
you very subtly mention the event to jeonghan on purpose. “are you also going to the party one of joshua’s friends is hosting tomorrow night? i forgot the guy’s name—”
“you’re going to mingyu’s party? with who?”
oh, you definitely detect that surprise in his tone. “just a few friends from class. they asked me if i wanted to come with, and joshua asked if i came as well, so… will i see you there?”
“maybe.” he answers with a furrowed brow, leaving the room, immediately texting mingyu about the details of the party, despite having declined the invitation two days prior because he wasn’t really feeling it.
and just like that, around eleven o’clock, he finds himself getting ready for the party, cursing himself for the way you make him act.
he hasn’t seen you since this afternoon, since you told him you’d go with one of your friends after class and get ready with her.
with his hair slicked back — save for a few strands hanging in front of his forehead — and a leather jacket thrown on, he heads out to mingyu’s place.
it’s the host of the party who comes up to greet him. “jeonghan! good to see you, i almost thought you weren’t coming.”
“i’m not planning on staying long. just wanted to say hi since life’s been busy recently.”
“i met your sister. she’s nice.” mingyu says, and it feels as if a switch flips in his head.
“yeah. where is she, by the way? i actually gotta talk to her about something.”
the taller of the two points to the kitchen. “i think she was getting herself a drink.”
“alright, thanks. i’ll talk to you later, yeah?” jeonghan says, giving mingyu a squeeze in his arm, which he reciprocates.
the party started about an hour and a half ago, the room already warm and reeking of alcohol and sweat.
when he enters the kitchen, he doesn’t see you anywhere at first — that is, until you turn around.
you look like a dream. perhaps even that’s an understatement.
a tight, black satin mini-dress with a sweet-heart neckline and a gold necklace sitting on top of your exposed collarbones. your makeup suits you perfectly — you look gorgeous.
what tops it all off is that sweet smile that rises to your face as soon as you recognize him.
“when did you get here, hannie?”
“i, um…” he looks you up and down once more, almost forgetting to answer you, “just now.”
you move in to give him a quick hug, and he has to hold back from letting his hands roam too low, sucking in a breath when you press your body against his even more than usual.
“wanna do a shot with me?”
“depends on how many you’ve had already.”
“only two. i’m a big girl, jeonghan. i don’t need my brother to take care of me.”
a funny statement, considering you’d actually like him to take care of you.
“it’s not you i’m worried about, baby.” he responds, mimicking your tone and attitude, which makes you grin.
you’ve shoved the tiny glass filled with vodka into his hand in the blink of an eye, and he clinks his glass with yours before downing the bitter liquid, feeling it burning in his throat.
“that was my only alcohol for the night. i drove here,” he informs you as he’s putting the glass on the counter, “you’re coming with me after this, right?”
you push your tongue against the inside of your cheek as you think of the best way to answer him. “well, it depends.”
the tension between you grows when he looks you in the eye. “depends on what?”
“don’t play dumb.”
he’s about to say something when he catches you briefly glancing at joshua, who’s absentmindedly checking his phone at the other side of the room.
oh, hell no.
“you’re kidding, right?” jeonghan scoffs, appalled at the idea of you landing in his best friend’s bed. “him, of all people?”
you’ve come to be so comfortable with him that you don’t mind being a little spiteful. “what? he’s cute.”
“i don’t care if he is,” he gets closer to you, his tone lower and sterner than before, “he’s my closest friend.”
“so? he doesn’t seem to mind that i’m your sister. besides, plenty of girls have a thing for being with their brother’s best friend, and vice versa. what’re you gonna do about it?”
jeonghan’s frustration suddenly dies down like a fire being put out, because he’s finally realizing what you’re doing, and his cockiness comes right back to his features. “you don’t even like him like that. you’re just trying to provoke me.”
well, shit. there goes plan a.
“no i’m not.”
“you definitely are.” he smirks gleefully, knowing damn well he’s right.
“i like joshua enough to let him give me a fun night.”
he has to dig his nails into the palm of his hand to stop himself from saying he’d give you a better one, but a part of him doesn’t think you’ll go as far as to go home with joshua.
“if you say so. have fun, sweetheart.”
“i will.” you tell him, leaving him by himself in the kitchen, and he rolls his eyes.
being at this party is slowly but steadily pissing him off. he can’t have fun or focus on anyone or anything else as long as you’re in this room, knowing you’re preparing to make use of joshua’s little crush on you. and to what end? to make him jealous?
he figures this, in a way, is the result of his own actions. he’s been sending mixed signals towards you about his feelings. the stunt he pulled at your dress fitting was uncharacteristically impulsive of him, as was that late-night kiss in the kitchen, and it’s not that he doesn’t want you like that ― it’s that he can’t.
or shouldn’t.
after two hours of unbearable small talk and several glasses of non-alcoholic beer, jeonghan decides he’s had enough. he will be taking you home tonight, one way or another.
from the other side of the room, he watches joshua lean closer to your face just to say something in your ear over the loud music — and he’s touchy. shua only gets touchy with those who are either friends, family, or people he wants to pursue.
a raw sense of possessiveness begins to swirl in his gut, the feeling of it reaching the tips of his fingers.
envy is a rare thing for jeonghan. usually, he’s the one people are envious of, as arrogant as that may sound. it’s not something he brags about, really.
but when he’s envious, he gets selfish. a little manipulative, even, if necessary to get what he wants.
so his legs move to get to you before joshua can do anything he doesn’t approve of, but then someone calls out his name.
“jeonghan? hey!”
he turns his head to find the last person he cares about right now. matter of fact, he really doesn’t want to talk to her, since she’s bothered you a while ago, yet out of good manners, he doesn’t show it, remaining somewhat friendly. “bitna. nice to see you again.”
the girl smiles a little too brightly at him for his liking. “are you in a hurry? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“no, i just… it’s nothing.”
while his head is spinning from sheer jealousy, he’s about to walk away from bitna when she speaks up again.
“i actually wanted to ask you something.” just the mere sound of her voice makes him press his lips together out of annoyance ― is it not obvious to her he has other matters to attend to?
“you do?”
“look, i, um… i’ve liked you for a while now, and i was just wondering if you wanted to… go out with me sometime?”
the confession falls on deaf ears, since jeonghan can only focus on the fact that his best friend is making a move on you across the room. “i’m—i’m sorry. i can’t really talk right now. see you later?”
bitna lets out a baffled scoff when he pushes past her to walk to the other side of the room, and she begins to get a faint idea of the reason behind his hasty behavior when she notices him approaching you and joshua, and she watches the interaction from afar like a hawk.
jeonghan runs a hand through his half-long hair and walks over to you, one hand on joshua’s shoulder and the other on your upper arm, as if greeting two friends.
“there you guys are. been looking all over for you.” he puts up a smile relatively naturally to appear convincing.
joshua, with a drink still in hand, looks a little bummed that his best friend had to come over to interrupt the conversation, but his fondness for him quickly returns.
“ready to go?” jeonghan turns his attention to you, and you have a hard time keeping your balance.
“already? i just got here, hannie!” you exclaim, your usual calm and quiet demeanor replaced by an outgoing and giggly one. he thinks it’s cute to see the effect alcohol has on you, though he doesn’t think you’re drunk, just very tipsy.
“i know, i’d prefer to stay too, but i promised your mom i’d get you home at a… somewhat reasonable hour. got the family gathering in the morning, remember?”
honestly, you can hardly even call it a gathering. you simply made the deal you’d be home to see your parents off before they go on their honeymoon, and it’s a perfect excuse to take you home now ― though you certainly could refuse him. if you wanted to.
but jeonghan knows better. you want only one person here, and it’s not joshua.
you let out an exaggerated huff. “fuck, i forgot.” but even in your less-than-sober state of mind, your infatuation for your stepbrother floods your senses, and you desperately want to be around him, ready to leave everyone and everything behind.
so you take a step towards him, nearly losing your balance, yet he catches you with ease. for someone appearing on the frail side, he’s actually a lot stronger than you’d think.
he puts his arm around your waist to ensure you don’t fall, and you happily wave at his best friend, who’s still standing beside you. “bye, shua.”
his friendly smile briefly returns to his face at your sweetness. “bye. drink some water when you get home, okay?”
you nod, walking out of the place with jeonghan’s arm still around you.
the road back home is quiet, and a bit of a blur to you, if you’re honest. he helped put your seatbelt on when you were struggling with the buckle and proceeded to force you to down an entire bottle of water, which you did with a pout.
with barely suppressed laughter, you and jeonghan walk up to the front door of the manor, and he has to constantly shush you to keep it down so your parents don’t wake up.
the house is completely quiet, save for the creaking of the chandelier above the stairs in the main hall. he guides you up until you finally make it to your room, where you let yourself fall onto the bed with a loud thud, eliciting a snort from him. “nope. to the bathroom you go.”
“ugh, to do what?”
“to drink some water, brush your teeth, et cetera. c’mon.”
“but ‘m so tired, hannie.”
“i know, baby. i’ll help you.” he coos, and your heart beats just a bit faster at the nickname.
so he helps you up and gets you to the bathroom, holding your jaw to brush your teeth. he’s awfully focused on the task, and you’re just staring at him the entire time, causing him to laugh.
“staring is rude.”
“maybe i am rude.”
he laughs again. “sure.”
you spit the toothpaste out in the sink and finally get some water in your system, and it feels like the sobering up of your senses is already happening.
it doesn’t make you act any less bold, though.
when he wants to say goodnight, you grab his arm. “wait—can you just—help me with one last thing?”
“what?”
“my dress. it’s so fucking tight that i barely got it on myself, my friend helped put it on. please?”
he looks down at the dress and back up at your face, and either you’re playing him to get him to undress you or you’re genuinely clueless.
but jeonghan tells himself he can do this. “turn around.” his voice is a bit lower than before, and you shiver at his tone before doing as he says.
the faint sound of the laces slowly being undone brings goosebumps to your skin, and you know it means he’s looking at the now visible clasp of the lacy black bra you’re wearing underneath the dress.
“were you hoping to impress someone with this tonight?” he somehow still manages to sound sweet despite the snark in his attitude. “joshua?”
it makes you look at him over your shoulder. “he’s cute. just… not really my type.”
he chuckles to himself, your back still facing him. “yeah, i could’ve told you that.”
you beat around the bush just for the sake of doing so. “why? how would you know what my type is?”
as he moves on to the laces covering your lower back, he pulls on them a little harder than before. “it’s unlike you to play the fool. especially with me.”
all you can do is scoff.
once he’s reached the last lace, he glances at your body for a moment before backing away from you. “change into some comfortable clothes and get some sleep, alright?”
with the dress still on, you turn around to face him again. “are you serious?”
“what?”
“you bring me home early as soon as your best friend is about to kiss me, and now you’re just not gonna act on your feelings? all of that for nothing?”
“not for nothing,” he says coolly, tilting his head, “i made sure joshua didn’t get to make his move on you.”
honestly, you’d be pissed off at him if you actually liked shua in that way. what does piss you off, though, is that he won’t make a move on you.
“i could always call him,” you suggest, though you wouldn’t act on it, but he doesn’t need to know that, “maybe he’ll give me what you won’t.”
but as always, jeonghan sounds unfazed. always the smartest guy in the room. “he’s too sweet for you. a good catholic kid. he probably wouldn’t even know what to do with you.”
“like you would.”
“i think we both know the answer to that question.”
“oh, please. you barely even touched me.”
“true. but you must’ve enjoyed it, since you’re here, asking for more.”
“and what’s stopping you from giving me that?”
“we’re family now.”
“says the guy who calls me baby and kisses me on the lips,” you scoff, making it your mission to get him to give in.
so you shrug off the dress that was loosely clinging onto your body to drop it to the floor, and the second he lays eyes on the lacy lingerie, you know he’s practically done for.
“it’s simple. say you don’t want me, and i’ll let it go.”
there’s something charming about his brain short-cutting now that you’re standing in front of him like this, and you’re backing him into the corner so easily. “sweetheart―”
“have you thought about it, since you touched me? having me like this?” you interrupt teasingly, and when he doesn’t say anything, you can’t help but smile in realization. “oh my god, you have.”
he’s clearly doing his best to maintain the untouchable persona, but even you see the truth. “it doesn’t change anything.”
you want him to act out for once, see what’s underneath that exterior. something about him makes you want to be bold — yet completely you.
so you reach behind your back to undo the clasp of your bra, and he has to swallow to keep it together.
if anything, he’s a bit baffled. he didn’t expect you to undress right here, right now, in front of him. but you just do it, looking as confident as ever.
with two small steps forward, you put your hands on his chest to push him back on the chair behind him. his breath hitches, and he tries to hold you back, failing to sound convincing in the slightest. “we shouldn’t.”
“you touched me first. you started it.” you shrug, moving to sit in his lap, and he does his best to focus on anything but your bare chest.
“i know that, but… i can’t. regardless of how much i want to.” he breathes out while your hands move from his cheeks to the back of his neck.
“i wore this set for you, y’know. just like that dress. hell, why do you think i even went to that party?”
oh.
oh.
sure, he figured you messed with joshua on purpose to rile him up — but he didn’t think you’d planned the whole night like this.
it’s something he would do, and a certain sense of pride rushes through him.
he makes the mistake of looking down where your nearly naked body grinds against his clothed crotch, and it makes him sick.
because the feeling of it is so much better than it already was in his wet dream.
“if i fuck you now—” he inhales sharply with his hand trembling on your lower back, “it won’t end there. i’ll want you again, and again, and again.”
it’s the only reason he hasn’t given in fully yet, something he realized after touching you the way he did and nearly getting caught.
he likes you more than he’s ever liked anyone, you’re addictive to him, and he knows that once he crosses this line with you, it’s over for him. he’ll want nothing more than to be with you, to fuck you and love you and have you be his.
even more than he already does.
“did you think i wanted this to be a one-time thing?” you ask, putting your hands on his jaw. “fuck me, hannie. please.”
jeonghan takes one look at your eyes and decides to say goodbye to that last thread his honor was hanging onto.
your kiss is gentler than anticipated. perhaps it’s because this is the first time you both fully get to savor it, taste it ― it’s so sickeningly sweet that he almost forgets you’re practically naked on top of him, while he’s still fully clothed.
he shrugs his jacket off with ease, throwing it onto the floor, your lips on his again before he can comprehend it. his hands roam all over your body, his breathing speeding up as his kisses trail down your jaw, to your neck, the sensation of his tongue on the skin by your collarbone making you feel weak.
with your legs around him, he gets up from the chair and puts you down on your bed. “i didn’t get to make you cum last time, so i should probably finish that, right?”
“but i want―”
“i know what you want.” he cuts you off, removing his shirt, smirking to himself when you shamelessly stare at his abs. “i’ll give it to you, but i wanna taste you first.”
he gets on the mattress in just his jeans, the waistband of his underwear peeking out from the top of his pants, and you like the sight of his bare chest.
unlike his usual patient self, jeonghan refuses to waste any more time. the way he acts isn’t rushed, but he’s got a certain hunger clawing at his chest that’s fighting to get out ― and it only really wants one thing.
your hands quickly reach out to grab his dark red hair once he’s got his head between your legs, his fingers firmly clasped on your thighs. he’s greedy, mouth and nose buried in your wetness.
“fuck—jeonghan—”
it’s when he hums in satisfaction that your eyes roll back. you prop yourself onto your elbows to watch him run his tongue over your pussy, savoring the taste of you.
the sheer emptiness in your gut while you’re getting wetter by the second is driving you insane. you’re clenching around nothing, aching to be filled up, and he’s so mean for not doing so already.
his lips latch onto your clit, and you inhale sharply, your hold on his hair even harder than before, making him moan. he’s rubbing his clothed cock against the mattress while his hands and mouth are on your body, and he’s close to feeling fucking ecstasy.
when he comes back up for air, he’s breathing heavily, moving upwards to kiss your stomach. you take his wrists to bring his hands up to your breasts, and he’s almost hypnotized by your greed.
“fuck, hannie, ‘m so wet—just take me. please?” you beg, and he just can’t help it; he can’t refuse you.
he sits up on his knees to unbutton his jeans, fingers trembling in anticipation as he watches you glance at him.
shrugging off the last of his clothes, he reaches for the condom he’s got sitting in his wallet, rolling it on swiftly. he almost laughs at the way your eyes follow his every move.
“put your legs up.” he mutters, and you mindlessly follow his command, feeling the warm buds of his fingertips on your calves as he puts your legs over his shoulders.
jeonghan pushes into you slowly and gently, allowing you to adjust. you bite your lower lip with a soft grunt while your heat wraps around him.
your hands immediately reach for him, and he enjoys the feeling of your hands on his skin.
“i can’t believe you orchestrated this whole night. were you thinking about this when you nearly kissed my best friend?”
all you can do is let out a playful laugh. “would it be so terrible if i said i was?”
“a little. but i like terrible,” he shrugs casually, and you force yourself not to get caught up in the silver chain dangling above your face.
it’s then that you realize it’s a cross necklace.
the irony of it makes you chuckle, and jeonghan catches you staring at it, his eyes lighting up dauntingly.
“to think our parents got such a wonderful wedding in that church, and all i wanted was to fuck you right then and there,” his fingers dig into your thighs as he keeps his pace slow but deep, teasing you to no end, “i fucking knew you wanted me too. decided to make me jealous just to get me to fuck you — so dirty.”
“you’re the one fucking your sister—”
“says the girl who begged to be fucked by her brother,” he moves his hips harder, making you moan, “but don’t worry, baby. i don’t judge.”
he’s awfully cocky about the situation, which you do think is hot, but it also riles you up.
completely taken aback when you flip the two of you over, he’s suddenly got you sitting on top of him, and you’re shaking your head. “don’t start things you can’t finish, hannie.”
the lazy smirk he always sports falters when you slowly rock back and forth, his cock twitching inside you.
“fine. then you should finish it,” he mutters breathily, failing to come across as smug as usual, giving you full control to do whatever you want with him.
he hisses through gritted teeth when you clench around him, his hands finding their way to your hips.
“oh, fuck.” he grunts, briefly closing his eyes in pleasure, and you think it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. “you feel so fucking good, baby.”
as his breathing begins to quicken, he circles your clit with his thumb, causing you to shudder on top of him.
“shit! don’t—don’t do that, not yet—”
“i want you to cum around me. you can do that, right?” he urges you, feeling close to begging you simply because he wants to see your face and feel your body shake on him.
humming a response, you move your hips faster, trying to give him what he wants while simultaneously chasing your own high.
“oh my god, jeonghan—”
“that’s it, baby. doing so well for me.”
his praise is enough for you to hit your climax, your thighs trembling beside him, and the tightening of your muscles hits him to the point it makes him hit his peak as well.
once you’ve come down from it, he flips you over, going right at it again and again, until it’s deep into the night and you’re both spent.
your head lies comfortably on his chest, trailing his warm skin with your finger.
he’s softly stroking through your hair. “i can’t believe you did all of that. poor joshua became collateral damage.”
“you don’t sound like you care that much.”
“he’ll get over it.”
“you’re so mean.”
“hey, you took part in it too, sweetheart.”
“ugh, you’re right. you know, maybe i should go to the church. commit to the catholic confessions and all that.”
jeonghan scoffs. “what would you even say?”
you shrug, the sarcasm dripping from your words. “forgive me father, for i have sinned. i was at this party, and this guy who likes me was about to make a move on me, but i pretty much just left him by himself to go home with my evil stepbrother, who then proceeded to rail me into another dimension—”
“since when am i evil?”
“since the day i met you, if not long before.”
he laughs at the irony of it. “perhaps.”
V. FAMILY TREE
life is surprisingly good when you’re in a secret relationship, jeonghan finds.
whenever your parents are asleep, he quietly moves to your room, slipping under the covers to find you naked and wet and aching for him. he’ll have his hand under your jaw as he buries himself inside you to the hilt with slow, deep strokes.
at breakfast, while your parents are completely oblivious, jeonghan has to fight the urge to smirk, knowing he was inside you a mere hour before.
the sex is ridiculously good ― but he feels as if you’re still closed-off to him. that distance that he felt in those first weeks of being around you has decreased, but it’s still there. he wants nothing more than to be trusted with whatever’s clearly on your mind, but he figures you don’t. not completely.
as jeonghan repeatedly knocks on your door to get you to hurry up for your trip to the cinema, he’s suddenly greeted by your mother walking down the hall, motioning for him to come over to her, away from your door.
“jeonghan,” your mother says softly, “i wanted to thank you for taking such good care of my daughter. she seems… happier, these days. she’s fond of you.”
the heartfelt words make him smile genuinely. “i’m fond of her, too. she’s good company, and i… well, i’ve never had a sister, so…”
“it’s wonderful to see you two get along so well, especially after last year. she was so torn up about it.”
“last year?” he asks, confused.
your mother in turn looks confused as well. “she hasn’t told you?”
“no, i don’t think so.”
she looks behind her for a second to check if the hallway is still empty, proceeding to speak in a more hushed tone. “oh, it was terrible. one of the girls who was a member of her sports team fell to her death while they were all gathered at a party together. the police officers weren’t on the scene quick enough, so all the girls saw the body, and the blood... it took a toll on her, she cuts me off whenever i try to talk to her about it. but since moving here, i suppose she’s gotten the fresh start she needed.”
well, that’s an interesting twist, to say the least.
how traumatic that experience must’ve been for you ― he doesn’t know why you wouldn’t tell him something like that. do you really not trust him at all?
when he takes you out to the city just five minutes later, he pretends not to know a thing about your mother’s words to him. he’s eager to wait and see when you’ll open up.
it takes you several weeks more to do so. you’re in his room, and he’s laying down on his back while you’re on your stomach next to him, pushing yourself up on your elbows, fiddling with your fingers. “do you think what we’re doing is wrong?”
“million-dollar question, isn’t it?” he shrugs while looking up at the ceiling. “it feels good to us. why would it be wrong?”
“everyone would disapprove. our parents would probably disown us, one might argue it’s even, you know… morally wrong.”
he blinks at your words slowly, voice slightly gentler than before.
“perhaps you should start looking at things differently. y’know, i ask myself a certain question sometimes.” jeonghan finally meets your gaze, and it’s almost hypnotic. “who will you be when no one can stop you?”
“and what’s your answer?”
“as for me — someone who doesn’t live by the rules. i live my life however i want. if that means doing something other people consider to be ‘wrong’… so be it.”
“how far would you take that? how wrong?”
“as wrong as you want it.”
he notices your breathing quicken. his eyes flick down to your collarbone before moving back up again. your hand faintly brushes past his, and he goes out of his way to put your hand on his chest, so utterly desperate to have that intimacy with you at every possible opportunity.
“can i ask you something, hannie?”
“always.”
“would you still like me if i said i was guilty of something?”
jeonghan refrains from making a playful comment when he takes notice of the seriousness in your tone, like you’re about to confess something. “what’re you guilty of?”
“i…” your breath hitches in your throat, and your impulsivity fails you, “no, forget i said anything.”
that’s when he turns his head to look at you. “hey, don’t do that. you can tell me anything.”
“i want you to still like me, jeonghan.”
he feels genuinely touched that you value the bond you two have as much as he does. “sweetheart, you could tell me you’re secretly the head of a drug cartel and i’d still like you. c’mon, tell me.”
you fiddle with his fingers to avoid looking at him, but you do begin to open up. “last year, i was a member of the university hockey club. i was close with a couple of my teammates, but not all of them. in february, there was a party on campus to celebrate the nearing end of the sports season, just like every year.”
jeonghan can almost see your throat tightening up. your struggle is so utterly visible that it makes him grow worried.
but he stays quiet.
“at a certain point that night, it was so hot inside that i went up to the rooftop to get some fresh air, since we were high up in the building with the party. about ten minutes later, one of my teammates also came up to the roof. we hated each other’s guts since the start. it was pretty obvious that she had too much to drink, but she began to just… talk shit to me, saying the team was better off without me and other teammates i was close with, and i got riled up, ‘cause i knew she didn’t like me at all. so our fight eventually became physical ― she tried to claw at my hair and face, and i pushed her away from me in the heat of the moment, i didn’t see that she was standing at the edge until she…”
he finishes the sentence as you refuse to do so yourself.
“until she’d already fallen to her death.”
you nod as a confirmation, and he finally manages to catch your gaze, a pair of glossy eyes staring back at him.
all kinds of questions run through his head. “what happened afterwards?”
“hannie…” you softly protest, heart crumbling with every word that comes out of your mouth, because it makes you feel so fucking vulnerable ― you can’t bear the thought of him leaving you or judging you.
he hums, tilting your chin upwards so you keep facing him. “no, baby. tell me.”
the nickname rolls off his tongue so naturally that you nearly miss it. “everyone who was there that night was questioned. there were no cameras, no witnesses, everyone knew she had a problem with alcohol… so i… i just said the same as everyone else. i lied. when the police ruled it an accident, everyone believed it.”
“it was.”
“except it wasn’t, because i pushed her.” you bury your face in your hands for a moment. “the shock hit me so hard that i went to the bathroom and threw up everything i ate that night. but once it wore off, i just… i didn’t feel guilty. i don’t care that she fell to her death ― it was unfortunate but bound to happen. and that’s what scares me, ‘cause i’m―i’m supposed to feel guilty about this, right? what kind of shitty person am i that i just don’t feel that? what the fuck is wrong with me?”
everything suddenly falls into place. the threatening arguments you had with bitna, the way you nearly had a breakdown at the church, the distance you’ve been so eager to keep since the day you stepped foot in this place.
this is what you were trying to run away from by coming here.
you don’t feel guilty because you pushed a girl plummeting to her death ― you feel guilt because you simply can’t bring yourself to care.
“did you want to push her?”
“jeonghan.” your tone is close to hostile, but his calm demeanor somehow pushes through.
“answer the question.”
“i—”
the stumble of an answer makes him smirk, and his face inches closer to yours, not allowing you to try and give the answer that’s clearly not the truth. “you did. you’re glad she’s dead.”
“stop. just stop.”
“you’re just saying this because you feel obligated to, not because you mean it. tell me how you really feel. i won’t judge you.”
every word coming out of his mouth tears you open little by little, exposing your biggest secret and darkest thoughts. but if he’s already deducted it — why not tell him?
it’s like you hit an internal switch. the stress begins to leave your features like he’s never seen before.
he finds it intriguing.
you finally give in and tell him the truth. “okay, fine. i hated that bitch to the bone, and i’m glad she’s dead. but i guess i still have some level of guilt, because now that i’ve done what i did… what kind of person does that make me?”
jeonghan flinches. he’s heard those words before — in his own head.
he wants to tell you that it makes you a lot more like him than he thought, to the point that it almost scares him. you’ve just trusted him with your darkest secret, yet he’s afraid to trust you with his.
what would you think of him? would you still want him the way he wants you?
“it makes you someone who had no choice. she was drunk, looking to start a fight, and you defended yourself.”
“do you really believe that?”
“i do. good and bad are a matter of perspective, and i believe you did the right thing. you’ll let go of that guilt with time. trust me.”
finally telling someone what you’ve had on your chest for so long is freeing, and he hardly appears as repulsed as you’d imagined him to be.
your voice becomes smaller. “but what if i don’t?”
“then i’ll help you. you’re my sister; i’ll take care of you, always.” he promises you, intertwining his fingers with yours, and you don’t know how to respond at first, solely because you don’t think you’ve ever been loved like this ― unconditionally.
with his free hand, he gently runs his hand through your hair, and it’s like you can finally relax now that you know jeonghan sees you as you are and cares for you just as much as before.
“thank you, hannie.” you mutter, laying your head down on his chest, and he presses a kiss on top of your head.
“anytime, sweetheart.”
his shoulders sink in relief under you. all he wants is the people he cares for to put their faith in him, and you’ve just proved you trust him with everything you have.
with you on his mind and in his arms, he drifts off into a deep slumber.
it’s remarkable how your parents remain completely oblivious of everything that’s been going on right underneath their noses. there’s been a few close calls, but nothing serious.
the last thing you expected after opening up to him was for you to grow even closer than you already were, yet that’s exactly what happened.
jeonghan has been particularly insatiable over the course of the past weeks. being all handsy, urging you to stay in his bed a little longer in the mornings, begging you to let him bury his head between your legs when he’s already done so several times — whatever’s in his system these days, it is strong.
not that you’re complaining.
being so comfortable with each other apparently also means pushing limits; the limits to possibly being caught, that is.
pushing his fingers inside you underneath the table when you’re having lunch with your parents, sneaking off into an empty classroom at university, showering together despite everyone being home ― the list goes on. there’s something thrilling about the idea of indulging in something you know you shouldn’t.
one line you haven’t crossed yet is slipping away from a charity event hosted by jeonghan’s father, though it seems that’ll be changing tonight.
jeonghan wasn’t planning on fucking you while the guests are still here, in his own home ― but you just look so gorgeous in that dress, and his jealousy is slowly but steadily going through the roof with every man coming up to you, clearly eyeing your dangerously low neckline.
as you’re heading to grab a new glass of champagne, you’re greeted by your dear stepbrother, and you’ve come to know him well enough to recognize that smug expression painted on his face.
“no.” you immediately tell him, and he huffs.
“oh, c’mon. you’re so not having fun right now.”
“can’t we just wait until everyone’s left?”
“on the contrary. this is the perfect timing.”
“yeah, for you, i bet. are you all hot and bothered, hannie?”
“i am, and you’re the only one who can fix it.”
the sarcasm might as well drip from your tongue. “wow, i feel so flattered.”
while your full attention is on jeonghan, and his attention is on you, neither of you are aware that joshua, who was invited alongside his parents, has been staring at you two since jeonghan approached you.
truth be told, joshua’s had the idea something was off about your dynamic that first moment he ever saw you interact with him, in the hallway at university.
jeonghan has never looked at anyone like he looks at you — full of intrigue, full of longing for something he can’t quite put his finger on. which he dismissed at first.
in spite of their close friendship, there is a certain barrier between them. there’s certain lines joshua won’t cross that jeonghan most definitely will, and perhaps he’s found his match in you.
but he still assumes that the relationship you have is platonic. surely it has to be.
only with each passing day, he begins to doubt that.
he’s itching to find out how you are with each other when you’re alone, and it’s a terrible thing to listen in on a conversation, but he wants this. desperately, for whatever reason.
he can’t help himself when he notices you going after him. following you from a distance, he quickly recognizes the room you head into is jeonghan’s.
the walls prove relatively thick, and his attempt to listen in from the outside fails, because he can’t hear anything.
so he blames the three glasses of champagne he downed earlier for making him go on with hasty decision-making as he quietly pushes the door handle down, not planning on actually entering the room, only having the door ajar.
jeonghan’s room is as big as a spacious apartment, so it’s no surprise joshua doesn’t see you anywhere at first.
it’s relatively quiet, with the crackling fireplace making the most noise, and he’s about to turn away from the door when he hears your voice in the background.
“you’re so impatient.”
then there’s jeonghan’s voice. “sue me.”
it remains somewhat quiet after that, until joshua hears noise he can’t make anything out of.
his curiosity gets the better of him, so he takes a few steps forward, peeking around the corner — only to find you together on top of the bed with messy hair and hands all over each other.
he’s taken aback with eyes blown wide as he watches the girl he likes half-naked and writhing underneath his best friend.
he hates how pretty you both look with the light of the fire reflecting on your skin.
jeonghan is completely caught up in the feeling of your heat around him when he throws his head back, but then he catches movement near the corner — and suddenly the two of them lock eyes.
of course he sees how borderline horrified joshua looks at the scene in front of him; he just can’t bring himself to care.
if anything, he simply ensures you keep your head turned the other way while burying himself deeper inside you, shooting his friend one of his classic lazy grins. your moans are the last thing joshua hears before he blinks to himself, leaving the room, nearly stumbling over his own feet in the process.
and jeonghan can only let out a satisfactory chuckle to himself, continuing to fuck you as if he didn’t just catch his best friend staring at the two of you.
matter of fact, it’s not until several days later that he sees him again, at university.
the hallway is as good as empty when joshua shakes his head at the sight of him. “i don’t wanna talk to you.”
“no? why’s that?”
shua grits his teeth. “how long has this been going on between you and her?”
“not long before our parents got married.”
“that’s several months.” he exclaims with his face even more horrified than before. “why the fuck would you hide something like this from me for so long?”
“why would i tell you at all, shua?”
a pang of hurt shoots through joshua’s chest, and he presses his lips together. “because i liked her.”
“and how was i supposed to know that?”
“you always know these things before i know them myself. don’t tell me you weren’t aware.”
jeonghan catches the hurt in his voice and decides to tone things down. “you’re right. i knew how you felt. i guess i didn’t know how to tell you.”
“look, whatever you’re doing with her needs to stop.”
well, so much for toning things down. he thinks he much prefers being clear and forward instead. “no it doesn’t.”
“jesus christ — you’re fucking your stepsister, jeonghan! how can you be remotely normal about this?”
where joshua’s anger rises, all that surges through jeonghan’s body is pride.
yeah, perhaps the whole thing should make him feel ashamed instead of boosting his ego, but it’s not like he hasn’t already crossed the line of what is and isn’t right. what’s the harm in going even further?
“i’m normal about it ‘cause i like doing it,” he shrugs, hardly attempting to hide his enjoyment, “we’re both adults. we already were when we met several months ago, we weren’t raised together, we’re not related in the slightest. so what does it matter?”
“oh, c’mon. she’s family to you now.”
“true. but i don’t care if i have to break up my father’s marriage for this, shua. she’s mine, one way or another.”
“is it just physical?”
“you’re asking me if i love her?” he nods for a moment, admitting how he feels about you. “i do. a lot. i don’t think i’ve ever felt this way about anyone else.”
that certainly puts a halt to joshua’s snarky comments for the time being. jeonghan is not the type of person to say something like that easily, which also means that no matter what he says, his best friend is not planning on giving you up anytime soon.
but joshua feels hurt ― so he’s going to test that love jeonghan harbors for you, even if it means stooping lower than he ever thought he would.
it’s silent, briefly. he leans closer to his face, narrowing his eyes. “does she know what you did?”
jeonghan’s blood runs cold at the sentence alone. his entire demeanor changes like the flip of a switch ― his lips are pressed together in sheer anger, and he visibly has to hold back from shoving his best friend against the wall. “the fuck did you just say to me?”
“she deserves to know.”
“oh, so now is the moment you suddenly have morals again? what happened to ‘taking it to the grave’, huh?”
“i don’t care what you do, it’s not my secret to tell. but like you said, she’s your family. if you two care about each other so much, then she should know.”
“shua, i value our friendship, which is why i won’t cuss the shit out of you right now, but this is not your business to meddle with. we keep this between us, just like we promised back then. got it?”
“sure.” the sound of joshua’s humorless chuckle rings through his ears. “you know, i used to wonder when you’d finally break. when the burden of what you did might get too much for your conscience. but eventually i realized that’s never gonna happen, because that conscience i thought you had? it doesn’t fucking exist.”
with those words, his best friend leaves him behind. jeonghan has to take a second to comprehend what just happened ― hell, he’s still not sure he heard it right.
neither joshua nor jeonghan are aware that you’ve been listening in on nearly the whole conversation from the other side of the corner, and you’re left asking yourself if you made a mistake trusting jeonghan with your secret.
because he clearly doesn’t trust you with his.
VI. WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE
jeonghan stares at the screen of his laptop with a hollow chest and overflowing thoughts.
truth be told, he doubts he’s ever felt this vulnerable.
ever since his falling out with joshua two weeks ago, life has been particularly shitty. his best friend still isn’t speaking to him, and you’ve suddenly started to distance yourself from him too, for whatever reason.
he’s pretty sure he’s going insane. it’s not like he said something to offend you, and you don’t even appear to be angry with him at all ― you’re still as lovely as ever, except you keep yourself far away from him.
every time he’s tried to talk to you, you managed to worm your way out of it, leaving him no choice but to speak to you when you’re about to go to bed.
“you’ve been avoiding me.”
as you’re taking your earrings out in front of the mirror, he watches you raise your brows in annoyance. “yeah, i have.”
“have i done something to upset you?” he hesitantly asks with a gentle voice and big eyes, and you almost begin to feel bad because of it.
you consider denying it and brushing it off but decide not to. “i overheard your conversation with joshua.”
he digs his nails into the palm of his hand. fuck.
“right.”
“that’s it? no witty remark?” you shrug, and jeonghan doesn’t miss the sharp edge to your words.
when he opens his mouth, nothing comes out. it’s rare for him to be speechless, but he simply doesn’t know what to say to you.
it makes you even more annoyed than you already are. “you’re not going to tell me about the little secret you share with him, are you?”
he shoots you an apologetic look. “i can’t. i’m sorry.”
“why not?”
“because—” because he’s even worse than you are, “—i just can’t. and it’s not ‘cause i don’t trust you—”
“are you serious?” you frown at his sad attempt of making up an excuse. “look at what i’ve told you about me. i trusted you with something like that, but you don’t trust me.”
“i do.” he firmly interrupts. “i trust you more than anyone.”
“well, forgive me if i don’t believe that. if you’re not gonna tell me whatever it is you’re hiding, there’s the door.”
he waits for a second, the spasm in his fingertips being the only visible sign that he’s itching to tell you what’s been sitting on his conscience for so long ― yet not a single word comes out of his mouth.
with shoulders slumped in defeat, he hesitantly takes a step backwards, leaving you behind as he exits your room.
while walking down the hallway to get to his own room, he takes a deep breath. all he can tell himself is that this will probably blow over soon, and perhaps you’ll even forget about it, with time.
several weeks later, he realizes that those thoughts couldn’t be less true.
in the days that have passed since the argument, you’ve hardly even looked at him. he can’t stand this sudden distance between you ― he wishes you understood why he hasn’t told you the truth, but he’s afraid you’ll only understand that once he actually tells you. in which lies the problem.
he doesn’t do that kind of honesty. not usually, anyways.
now, for the first time in weeks, the crippling sense of loneliness he’s been feeling is replaced by annoyance.
he’s always hated the parties hosted by his father’s social circle ― but if he wants his inheritance, he’ll have to bear it. so he finds himself attending a gala in his tailored tuxedo, his hands sitting in his pockets, a deep frown set into his forehead.
maybe it was uncharacteristically naive of him to think everything could go back to the way things were before that conversation with joshua. the last thing he expected, though, was that he’d be the one left behind.
from a distance, he’s been keeping his eye on you. and from what he’s seen, you and joshua are friendly with each other again, and jeonghan gets the feeling his best friend only holds him accountable for the fact that you’re fucking.
truthfully, you came up to joshua a few days after overhearing their conversation, and you apologized he had to see you and his best friend together in the way that he did. with shua still holding a bit of a soft spot for you, he accepted your apology, and you’ve been enjoying his company ever since.
but he’s not jeonghan.
while anxiously tapping your finger against the champagne glass, you look around the room, since you’ve hardly even seen him tonight.
it’s as if joshua can read your mind. he leans down to speak in a hushed tone. “trouble in paradise?”
him taking notice of it makes you shrug. “no, everything’s fine.”
“sure.” he chuckles knowingly. “i get it. why do you think he’s still my best friend after all these years?”
“what do you mean?”
“i know you overheard our conversation a couple weeks ago. i saw you slip away, and now that i know you’re not on speaking terms with him, well… you put two and two together.”
“i’m guessing you’re not gonna tell me either?”
“i can’t. unfortunately.”
the cryptic response has you rolling your eyes at him. “i don’t understand why you guys are being so secretive about it.”
“because if he told you, you’d see him for who he really is.”
“and who would that be?”
“someone who…” he swallows for a moment. “someone who will make you question your own sanity. he’s willing to do the worst things you could possibly think of and then act like it’s completely normal. he’s the worst person i know.”
the brutal honesty catches you off guard. “so why do you keep going back to him?”
“i’ve asked myself the same question. there’s something about him that… i don’t know―just pulls you in, i guess.”
the short-lived silence makes you look at your glass of alcohol with a certain distaste.
“why are you telling me this, joshua? are you saying i should distance myself from him?”
“that’s the thing. there is no distancing yourself from him.”
“you make him sound like a monster.”
joshua doesn’t meet your eyes. “perhaps he is.”
the bitter statement leaves you baffled for a second — until you decide you’re sick of it. “for fuck’s sake, joshua, you can’t say something like that and not elaborate. i live in the same house as him.”
he’s clearly surprised by your sudden and strong grip on his arm, but all it takes is catching a single glance from jeonghan across the room for him to backtrack.
“i’m sorry.” is all he says to you before leaving you behind, hoping to find some peace and quiet in the empty hallway.
all he finds there is the opposite.
“you seem awfully close with my sister. thought you’d try again now that she’s not talking to me?”
joshua stops dead in his tracks. he turns around, seeing his best friend casually leaning against the wall, the soft light of the lamp above his head reflecting on his face. the red circles under his eyes almost match his hair.
“i’m not trying anything. i know she doesn’t like me like that.”
“i’m aware. but perhaps she’d naturally gravitate more towards liking you if you told her… our secret.” jeonghan manipulatively emphasizes, which his best friend fails to register.
joshua clenches his fist. “that’s something you would do. not me.”
“right. you’re a much better person than me.”
“i didn’t say that.”
“no, but you implied it.”
“just―just tell her the truth. i can’t stand that she knows we’re hiding something.”
“we’re not guilty of anything, shua. i told you that.”
“then why won’t you tell her?”
“because she wasn’t there. she wouldn’t understand.”
but his own worry clouds his judgement and shifts the conversation into a different direction. “i saw bitna tonight. it’s like she fucking knows what we did to her brother―”
jeonghan’s anger comes swift and harsh, causing joshua to flinch. “we agreed to remain silent on this, shua, so you need to keep your end of the deal.”
but jeonghan suddenly notices his best friend is now focused on something behind him, and as his body language changes into something smaller, jeonghan turns his head.
only to see you standing behind him with confused eyes.
fucking hell, he thinks to himself. what is it with everyone and eavesdropping these days?
“joshua, go outside, take a breather. i’ll be back.” he says, taking charge of the situation, barely making eye contact with you when he takes a few steps toward you, grabbing your hand and pulling you with him to an empty room he finds after opening one of the doors, shutting the door behind you. the jealousy is painfully obvious in his face.
“you can’t avoid me forever. and what the fuck are you doing ― being besties with joshua all of a sudden? seriously?”
“oh, so i need your approval on who i befriend now?”
“you know damn well that’s not what i’m saying. it makes zero sense for you to be mad at me but all buddy-buddy with him.”
“because you’re the one i trust! i never put my faith in him the way i put it in you!”
“do you really think i don’t feel the same way? if you actually believe i don’t trust you, you’re not as smart as i thought you to be.”
“fuck you, jeonghan. if you think i’ll ever open up to you again in the way that i did, you’re wrong.”
when you’re about to leave him behind, he stops you, tugging at your arm, and you sigh.
“please don’t leave. please.” he begs, his voice turning small. “i wanna tell you — i’m just scared to lose you when i do. and that’s the one thing i cannot handle.”
you scoff. “oh, c’mon, after what i did, how much worse can it possibly get?”
when he keeps quiet, looking you in the eye with a stern face, yours drops.
“jeonghan, what did you do?”
after opening the door to check if anyone’s there, then closing it again, he rubs his forehead. “me and joshua went on vacation to a winter retreat over our november break with a group of twenty, it was an initiative from a classmate. it ended up being a couple days of a lot of drinking, and then one night, someone pulled out the harddrugs. shua and i didn’t want any, and the guys who brought it clearly thought it was stupid. one of them was bitna’s brother.”
you just listen intently, gesturing for him to continue.
“eventually, he went outside to grab more beer from the storage by himself, which was about a five-minute walk from the house. i slipped out of the room without anyone noticing and went after him. there was a snow storm outside, so the weather was shit. once i got to the storage, i told him to stop harassing shua about taking any drugs, but he reacted badly to it. we got into a fight, i don’t even remember who threw the first punch, but… i pushed him, and when he fell backwards, it’s like i could hear the crack in his skull. he was bleeding from the back of his head, unable to get up. i grabbed my phone to call for help, but all i did was stare at my screen. the guy was bleeding out in front of me and i let him die instead of letting anyone know. and it would’ve been fine — had joshua not come outside.”
“did he watch everything?”
“no, i don’t think he did. i told him exactly what had happened, and he… he came up with the idea of framing it as an unfortunate accident. so that’s what we did. the other guys were so coked out that night that they only found the body the next day, buried under a layer of snow. the cops found the drugs in his system, and he clearly hit his head, so they ruled it an accident like we’d hoped.”
“and you swore to take it to the grave.” you fill in the blanks, and he nods at you. “why didn’t you tell me this when i asked you? what were you so afraid of?”
you see something in him you’ve never seen before — tears. nervousness. panic.
his eyes turn red and his throat tightens up. “when you told me your secret, i was… happy. because the person i care for the most is the only one who’s experienced what i have. but what you had to do was nothing more than an accident, and what i did was on purpose. i could’ve saved that guy, yet i chose not to. i don’t care if that makes me a bad person — i just don’t want you to see me that way. as selfish as that may be.”
he’s on the verge of sobbing, trembling fingers sitting on your waist.
little does he know that you don’t view him as a bad person at all. “you had to make a choice, and you made the right one. who knows what they would’ve done to you if you’d told the truth.”
all he can do is nod, his throat too closed-off to talk.
“you’re my brother. you’ll always have me, jeonghan.” you tell him, remembering the words he said to you after you confessed what was weighing so heavily on your conscience.
and jeonghan cannot help gazing at you ― he realizes that you understand him more than anyone else ever will. he’s free to completely be himself with you as you are with him, and he’s finally processing that.
he cups your face, staring at your lips before pressing his own on them.
the kiss is slow but hungry — full of greed and care and wanting. his hands move from your face to your back, pressing your body closer to his, aching for your bodies to mold together and become one.
his whole body trembles when you break the kiss, and you cup his face as he did yours.
he can’t believe he gave you his bare heart on a silver platter and you chose to stay. you see him for all he is, and in spite of his many flaws, you want him just as much as before.
yoon jeonghan, for the first time in his life, finally knows what it’s like to be loved in the way he so desperately yearned for.
and he wants to show you that he loves you just as much. he leans in to kiss you again, but just when his lips are about to touch yours, the door whips open, and you’re greeted by a phone shoved in front of you.
the vulnerability on your faces is gone the second you recognize the person holding the phone as bitna — who seems horrified.
“what the fuck are you doing?” jeonghan sneers when he realizes she made a picture of your near-kiss.
she stumbles in her step, and it seems like she’s had one too many glasses of champagne. “at first i thought i was imagining things at the party, but i was right. i was trying to finally tell you how much i liked you, even after all these years, and you ditched me for your fucking stepsister!”
that makes you raise your brow. jeonghan just confessed to killing her brother, yet this is what she chooses to talk about — she probably wasn’t eavesdropping, then.
“and how is that any of your business? we’ve barely even spoken to each other since high school.” he responds, his voice to her colder than he’s ever been to you.
“maybe it’s not my business. but the rest of your friends here deserve to know what you’ve been up to, if you ask me.” she says, attempting to make her tone sound just as mean as his, but the tremble in her voice gives her away.
when she grabs her phone and begins to type like she’s on a timer, you both realize what she’s about to do — she’s gonna upload the picture.
if that photo of you and jeonghan gets out, it’ll have serious consequences.
you attempt to snatch the phone out of her hand, but she’s quicker, her sharp nails leaving a scratch on your wrist.
jeonghan sees you hiss from the pain, and he pushes her up against the wall, his hand wrapped around her throat.
“don’t even fucking try it.”
bitna panics and shoves her knee right into his crotch, causing him to grunt from the impact, forced to let go of her neck as he collapses on the floor.
she grabs her phone and runs out of the hallway, and you don’t waste a second, running after her.
with the gala taking place at a mansion by the countryside, you’re far away from civilization, mostly just surrounded by the forest and some badly lit roads.
you go after her even when she runs outside through the backdoor, right between the tall trees. it’s when she trips over her heels that you’re finally able to catch up with her, and you flip her around to choke her unconscious, but she uses her nails to scratch across your face this time.
“fuck!” you yell, and she uses the moment to escape once more.
with a few drops of blood on your face, you get up to go after her again, fueled by the adrenaline and blazing hatred in your system.
she keeps running, looking back to you from over her shoulder, and it’s right at that moment that she runs onto the road, forgetting to check whether there’s any traffic in her haste — and she gets pushed over by an incoming car.
shock hits you briefly, and you contemplate hiding between the trees to leave the scene of the crime until you recognize the car as well as its driver.
jeonghan gets out, and you run over to him, finding him standing by bitna’s body, which is now several meters away from the car due to the crash.
“fucking hell — what just happened? i wasn’t even trying to hit her, she just ran in front of the car out of fucking nowhere—did she do that to your face?”
with your breathing slowing bit by bit, you nod, and you both look down at the body, only to realize she’s still breathing, but her injuries are so bad that she can’t get up, and she’s coughing up blood. hell, it looks like she can hardly even move at all.
the sound of her pained grunts hardly affect you when you take her phone out of her pocket to delete the picture before putting it back again.
“sweetheart.” jeonghan says to you, and you look at each other for a moment. “she knows too much.”
you sigh, turning around to check if there’s any cars coming, but the road is remote and empty, and it’s late at night.
“who’s gonna do it?”
he wordlessly sinks down to one knee, staring down at bitna even when his hand squeezes her throat and the life leaves her eyes. he only closes his eyes when some splatters of the blood she was coughing up hits his cheek, which he wipes away with his other hand.
when he checks her pulse to see if she’s still alive, you see a single car nearing the scene, the driver of which you then recognize as the last person that should see this.
joshua hits the brakes and hurries out of the car. “i saw you drive off like crazy, what the hell happened—”
his words are caught in his throat when he sees the body.
“shua. she’s gone.” your voice is strained as the sobs remain choked-up in your throat, your shaky hands tugging at his arm.
tears well up in his eyes. “what the—how did this happen?”
jeonghan forces himself to sound remotely shaken up. “i just drove here and she ran in front of the car. it was an accident, i swear.”
but a part of joshua doesn’t buy it. “out of nowhere? what the fuck is this, jeonghan? are you lying to me?”
“no. i swear to you—”
but he doesn’t let him finish. “this is insane. we have to do something, tell the cops what happened here, and with her brother—”
it’s then that jeonghan’s softer approach fades into something meaner. he pushes him against the hood of the car, trying to talk some sense into him. “and what do you think the cops will say, huh? you think they’ll just smile at you for fessing up and let you walk out freely? you’re an accomplice to murder, shua. everyone you know will hate you. this will haunt your name for the rest of your life ― get it into your thick skull once and for all.”
joshua’s breathing quickens with his sobs. “i can’t deal with this the way you can. i can’t do it.”
“you can, and you will.” he grabs his face, wiping the fresh tears away. “you just have to breathe, and you deny. you deny everything. you were not here, okay? i need you to go home, she and i will fix this.”
“you can’t keep making me go through this. how many more deaths do i need to have on my conscience before it’s enough?”
jeonghan shakes his head calmly, embracing him, his one hand on the back of joshua’s neck. “it’s not your fault, shua. it’ll be okay, promise.”
joshua glances at you, seeing your distraught face, and the portion of trust he lost in his best friend, he chooses to find in you.
and so he believes it. he tells himself it was an accident, and does what he’s told.
the moment joshua walks back to get into his car, jeonghan peers at you, the flickering red light reflecting on your tear-streaked face. the emotions you were displaying mere seconds ago are entirely gone, replaced by something numb and indifferent in the blink of an eye.
it’s like looking into a mirror.
as joshua’s in the driver’s seat, jeonghan tells him what to do one last time before the younger of the two drives off, leaving only you and your brother behind.
what happens next is like a blur. jeonghan tells you something about a nearby lake, which is where he takes the body to get rid of it. once he returns, he’s empty-handed, save for the fresh blood on his conscience.
you’re in the driver’s seat, watching him get in beside you, his clothes stained with red spots.
he sits still for a moment, but as soon as you turn your head, he holds your chin and kisses you.
it’s far less gentle than before, more lust than anything, but it’s something you both need right now.
with your forehead leaning against his, you breathe into each other’s mouths. “we gotta go home, hannie. before our parents get back.” you whisper.
all he can do is hum in agreement, kissing you one more time before you start the car.
once you’re home, you park the car out of sight, as it needs to be cleaned and repaired.
you eventually manage to get into jeonghan’s room unseen. he yanks his stained shirt over his head, throwing it into the fireplace to get rid of every piece of evidence he can think of. you immediately go on to wash your hands by the sink.
it’s interesting for you to watch how he behaves at a moment like this — it’s hard to tell whether his thoughts are racing or completely frozen. he moves to the bathroom to scrub the blood off his hands and nails, going at it for several minutes until there’s not a speck of red left.
then he comes walking back, heading straight for the whiskey bottle on top of the coffee table to down two glasses in one go.
“you put up a show for joshua.” he states.
“what do you mean?”
“the crying. it stopped the second you knew he wasn’t paying attention to it anymore.”
kudos to him for being so perceptive. you didn’t think he noticed.
“so?”
he takes a few steps over to you. “i saw it. that moment your expression completely changed… i used to think we were different, in a way. but we’re really not.”
it only makes you shrug your shoulders. “and now? am i no longer a good person to you, little brother?”
jeonghan mimics the teasing in your tone. “i think being a good person is overrated.”
his tone and gaze and grip on your hips is harsher than usual, and as soon as he’s got you pressed against the wall, you realize he’s rock-hard.
“you looked so fucking good doing that. the way you talked to joshua, saying the exact things you needed to say to get him to believe you, the blood on your face—” he mutters, completely lost in his desires now that you’ve made them a reality, “you were perfect. my sweet sister.”
your nails harshly dig into his skin, hot arousal dripping between your legs. you pull your dress of and discard it onto the floor, taking a few steps back to his desk, pulling him with you with your finger at the waistband of his boxers.
“need you in me. please, i’m so fucking wet—”
after laying you back on his desk, he rubs his cock against your entrance, finding you soaking for him, and he has to force himself to keep his composure and not completely fall apart already.
a shameless moan escapes him when he pushes himself inside you, and his pace quickly increases, his mouth moving to your sensitive nipples. you wrap your legs around his waist at the sensation, and his warm saliva coats your breasts while he keeps fucking into you.
you don’t think the coil in your stomach has ever built up this fast. all you want is for him to keep fucking you throughout the night, and by the looks of it, he’s far from done with you.
he leaves hickeys all over your upper body, feeling more possessive of you than ever before, and you suck his cock so tightly into your cunt that he wants to stay like this forever.
“let me cum inside you, baby, please. wanna see it drip out of you — oh my god, please, let me have it—”
the sound of his begging turns you even wetter. “yes, yes, cum in me, hannie.”
it’s a mere matter of seconds before you feel him shudder, emptying himself inside you, and he looks down to see drops of his white cum seeping out of your dripping pussy. he watches you rub at your clit before you dip your finger inside, pushing his cum back into you, and his breath visibly hitches in his throat.
his cock has never been hard faster, and he rubs himself at the sight of your pussy, moaning when you begin to finger yourself in front of him, the wet noise ringing through his ears.
“let me fuck you again. wanna fuck you again so bad, baby, look at how wet you are, jesus christ—”
“want it harder this time, hannie.” you nod, pulling him closer to you again, and he’s utterly hypnotized, as if you’re some holy being speaking to someone beneath you.
and as always, he’ll gladly oblige you, so he sheathes himself inside, giving you exactly what you want.
you both lose complete track of time in his room, lost in your own world, waking up the next day to the news that the girl whose body you dumped into the lake is considered missing by the authorities.
it’s two days later when they discover her body, and as you’d hoped, the police appear to believe her death was an unfortunate accident rather than cold-blooded murder.
bitna’s funeral is grim.
it’s more crowded than you anticipated, but the majority of people attending are either family, current classmates or former classmates, you and jeonghan falling into the latter categories. you blend in well with the other attendees.
with your black coats and leather gloves on, you stare at the casket being lowered into the ground.
once the people leaving are out of earshot, the two of you glance at the tombstone. “what a shame. she was young.”
jeonghan nods slowly. “and she made a mistake by trying to meddle with business that wasn’t hers.”
“do you have any regrets? about the things that happened?”
“no. do you?”
“i should, probably. but i don’t.” you shrug, crossing your arms over your chest. “i have a feeling joshua is gonna lose his shit, though. he’s fragile.”
“you’d be surprised, actually.” he leans toward you, making sure that no one can hear him. “when bitna’s brother died, it was his idea to frame it as suicide.”
“seriously? i thought it was yours.”
“to be fair, i’d come up with the idea already, but i wanted him to be the one to say it. all he needed was me mentioning what the consequences would be — were we to confess what happened. the image of spending a solid part of your life in prison does wonders for some.”
deadpanning a stare, you snort. “you manipulated him into coming up with the suicide so he couldn’t blame you later on.”
a smirk tugs at his lips, yet he tilts his head. “don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.”
“fine, you got me there.”
you both chuckle quietly, after which it’s briefly quiet. shifting your gaze down to the ground, you huff to yourself.
“well, i guess this is who we are when no one can stop us.” you sigh. “somehow always at the scene of the crime.”
“this is who we are when we take care of each other.” he loops his arm around your waist, pulling you to his side, rubbing at your clothed skin as he holds you. “you’re my sister. i’ll do anything for you — i want you to know that.”
“i do.” you nod, laying your head down on his shoulder. “i also know you don’t want me to protect you, but… i will. always.”
with a kiss pressed to your temple, he gives you his response to the sentiment.
sure, you and jeonghan may not share the same blood, but you are bound by the secrets you’ve shared and the blood you’ve spilled, and all you can feel for the future is… excitement.
thank u for reading. please let me know if u enjoyed it x
® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
#yoon jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x reader#svt x reader#svthub#seventeen x reader#jeonghan angst#jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan fanfic#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic
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YOU 🫵 AGAIN HAVE FORSAKENED ME
I went to Walmart and saw THIS and was like, yeah I need that 😭 THEY HAD SO MUCH TF:ONE STUFF TOO?? My bank account is crying already 😭😭
Sorry for shit quality. I was excited 😅
All the figures! 🤣 Do it, do it, do it
Everything Is Alright Pt 104
IDW Starscream x Reader, Megatron x Reader, Soundwave x Reader
• “Problem?” Megatron growls, tempted to reach and touch you just to antagonize Starscream, but something about the expression on the Seeker’s face is almost dangerous. Furious and desperate and barely in control. “You should be gentler with your mate,” he says instead as Starscream’s optics narrow. Remembering those ragged sounds of grief you’d made and the way they'd twisted through his spark. You're only human and he shouldn't even care, but those sounds had bothered him. Never wants to hear them again. Sliding off the berth, he towers over the Seeker, ignoring as Starscream flares his wings. “Don’t make our pet cry again or I’ll take it out on you.”
• Gritting his denta as he stands his ground, Megatron shoulders past him, unconcerned with his anger. Not seeing him as a threat. Turning when the door closes behind Megatron, he mass shifts and grabs Soundwave’s shoulder, trying to pull him away. Hissing through his denta when the communications officer loops a possessive arm around you. Refusing to let you go from where he has you in his lap. “You left,” Soundwave growls in warning and his wings droop.
• “I came back,” Starscream mutters, optics sliding to you and expression softening. Kneeling beside Soundwave and offering you his hand. Asking you to come to him willingly. And you're not sure that you want to. Soundwave stayed and he didn't. “I’ll always come back for you.” But he still left you. Again. “Please?” That raspy whisper does you in and you reach for him, let him pull you to him and wrap his arms around you.
• “You keep hurting me,” you whisper and Soundwave’s spark constricts, hearing the unspoken ‘and I keep letting you.’ Knows you love the Seeker and he hates that fact right now. Hates Starscream as the Seeker rests his chin on top of your head, optics shuttering. Because he’s not sure the other mech understands how badly his rejection and denials hurt you. That alone convincing him that he needs Megatron tied to you. Someone that can force Starscream to be better. Because he won’t allow him to hurt you again. He can't. You'll forgive him in time. Realize that this was the only way. That it was all for you, to protect you.
• Grinding his denta at the pain in your voice and that you don’t sound surprised, like you expected him to hurt you. And that hurts him spark deep. Don’t you understand how much you mean to him? That you’re home and now a future? That you're the only spot of warmth and happiness in his life? Wings flicking as he tries to ignore Soundwave watching and listening, he tips your chin up and brushes his mouth against the corner of yours, nudging your forehead with his helm. "I was afraid," he admits, lips brushing yours, hating saying it out loud. Owning up to the fear and insecurity. Little, soft hands touch his face as you brush a kiss against him.
• "You think I'm not?" Because you're terrified and the one person who should have been there, ran away. Again. Really, you're the one in the dark here. Sparklings? You have no idea how this is going to work. Because the thought of actually birthing something like him, metal not soft flesh like you? There are so many questions, but you're half afraid if you ask them, he'll panic and bolt again. He's already so fidgety and uncomfortable. But he still loops his arm around you, holding you close. And you want to believe that he won't abandon you again, but you're not sure that you can anymore. Once is an accident, but twice?
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#transformers x reader#idw starscream#starscream x reader#megatron x reader#soundwave x reader#idw megatron#idw soundwave#soundwave#megatron#starscream
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The Deal - Chapter 2
Pairing: Hwang In-Ho/ The Front Man x Female Reader
Story Summary: You get suspicious of Player 001 and confront him. That decision leads to a deal that will change the fate of your life forever.
Chapter Summary: Conversation with the enemy.
Warnings: None for this chapter. NSFW warnings will be added in future chapters.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 3
In-Ho had left to join the players, he couldn't be gone for long to risk someone wondering about him. You didn't really know what to do, so you turned on the big screen in front of the armchair. Your stomach churned when you saw what was on. The next game. So, this is how In-Ho liked to entertain himself? Watching people get murdered? You felt sick just thinking about it.
You turned it off and started examining the room. There wasn't much there, but you did find some books to read and a bathroom. Well, thank God for that. At least now, you didn't have to wait for permission every time you needed to use the restroom.
You didn't know how much time had went by when the door opened and a guard with a square on his mask walked inside. He was carrying a black box with a pink bow on it. Your pulse quickened as flashes of the dead players being put into boxes went through your mind.
"The Front Man wants you to take a shower and then put this on," the guard said and handed you the box.
The Front Man? So that was what they called him?
You took the box out of the guard's hand and he left without another word. You looked down at the box with curiosity and carefully took off the lid. Your eyes widened as you took out the gorgeous, golden silk dress and a matching pair of high heels. The dress was ankle long with thin straps and an open back. At the bottom of the box, there was a pair of golden silk thongs to match the dress. Wow...and he even had all of your sizes right.
The warm water on your skin felt rejuvenating. It almost melted away all your thoughts and emotions you'd experienced since you'd woken up in the bunk bed.
You looked at the stranger looking back at you in the mirror. Where was the joyful person from a year ago? Before your husband died and left you with all his debts you couldn’t possibly pay, debts he hadn't even told you about. Fuck, you hated him for that. You sighed and slid the thong up your hips, and shimmied into the dress, let the soft material glide down your body. You ran your fingers through your wet hair, wishing you had a hairbrush. You slipped into the high heels and made a grimace. You'd never been a fan of them.
There was a set table waiting for you outside, with lit candle lights and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the center. What was this? You took a few steps forward and that's when you saw In-Ho standing at a bar counter, opening a bottle of wine. He looked up, his eyes twinkling up with interest when he saw you, his gaze slowly taking in your appearance with appreciation. He put down the bottle and approached you with a confident gait. You could feel your heart racing and your breath hitching from his closeness as he stood before you, and his gloved fingers slowly running up your bare arm.
"You look exquisite, y/n," he said in a hushed tone as his gaze followed the trail of his fingers. The mix of his deep voice and touch sent a jolt of arousal through your core and settled between your legs. Fuck, you didn't want to feel this way about this man. You despised everything he was doing here and hated your body for reacting this way.
In-Ho's lips curved up into a smirk and you knew. You knew he knew exactly how your body was reacting to him. Well, fuck him. He wasn't going to have the higher ground here. So, you held your head high and looked him straight in the eyes.
"If you're trying to woo me with a candle light dinner, it won't work. I might have agreed to give you my body, but you will never have my soul."
In-Ho only smirked wider in return and you hated him more.
"Please sit down, y/n. Dinner will be served soon," In-Ho said and smirked at the glare you gave him. Oh, he would have so much fun with you.
You hated to admit how good it felt to get a real meal of food in your stomach. And the red wine...you rolled it in your mouth, taking in every detailed taste of it. It was delicious.
"So, how did your husband come to have such high debts?" In-Ho asked and took a sip of his wine while fixing his gaze on you.
You looked at him, surprised by his question.
"Uhm...well, you know. The usual stuff. Addiction to gambling, spending money he didn't have. That sort of thing."
In-Ho nodded in acknowledgement.
"What about you? How did you become...this?" you asked, motioning to his appearance.
In-Ho smiled. "You know, I was once the winner of the game."
You almost choked on your wine and stared at him in disbelief.
"Really?"
In-Ho nodded. "But my wife died while I was here, and I had nothing to return home to. So they offered me to stay as overseer of the games."
"They?"
"The ones who created the game. I don't even know who they are," In-Ho said with a dry chuckle. "Just a voice talking on the phone."
"Why are you telling me all of this? Your name, your backstory."
In-Ho shrugged his shoulders. "I guess...It feels good to have someone to talk to again."
You studied his face, every beautifully carved feature, and you could see the sadness written in them, but also the longing for something more. Perhaps, deep in his heart, he didn't want to be this cold, ruthless person.
"Well, It seems like I'm not going anywhere, so you can talk as long as you like," you said in a joking tone and smiled at him, trying to lighten the heaviness of the situation you were in.
In-Ho looked at you and smiled back, and the soft chuckle coming from his mouth warmed the inside of your chest in ways you didn't want it too.
~ to be continued...
#hwang in ho x reader#hwang in ho smut#in ho x reader#the front man x reader#the front man#hwang in ho#squid game fanfiction#squid game imagine#squid game smut#squid game#squid game fanfic#player 001 x reader#player 001#player 001 smut#the front man fanfiction#the front man smut#squid game season 2#in ho squid game#in ho smut
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franco thoughts: 18+ car quickie 1.6k
“You should’ve stayed back, I know you get car sick”
“It’s fine, we’re not even moving anyway.”
You had been stuck in traffic for a while. You didn’t really know where you were but it was a busy avenue. The car was quiet, the radio barely audible and none of you saying much as the sky darkened above you. You had been sent to get some missing ingredients for dinner before the sun even set.
Now it was night, you hadn’t even gotten to the market yet and you were bored out of your mind. The only thing keeping you entertained was your shirtless boyfriend.
He was coming out of the pool when his dad threw the car keys at him, giving him the chore. You were kind of glad that he was such a stubborn person and didn’t listen to you telling him to change before getting in the car, he only threw a shirt over his shoulder instead.
You wish you could stop starring but the thing was, you had been staying with his family for the holidays so alone time was a tad more difficult. You had tried the first night you got there, of course, you missed each other and couldn’t stop your hands, but the next morning at breakfast you could see his family avoiding eye contact — so there was no way you’d do that again. But it had been more than a week now, and God, you were horny.
You couldn’t help but reach out for his thigh, he looked down at your hand and covered with his.
“You okay?”
He watched you nod and moved his hand away from yours after a squeeze. He didn’t get it. You removed your hand from his thigh and took it to your shirt undoing the first few buttons, exposing your chest and the bikini top that barely covered it. It took him a while to notice but when he did his eyes rolled back into his head.
“What are you doing?”
“Just getting comfortable, looks like we’re gonna be here a while.”
You leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, but not without your hand pressing hard on his thigh. When you sat back on your seat he was glaring at you.
Another idea popped in your head when you realized the first wasn’t working so well. Your hands dropped to your jean shorts, slowly unbuttoning them. Franco started watching you, eyes on your body as you struggled to get out of your shorts.
You heard him curse something in Spanish and it only made you smile as he moved the car a couple meters forwards. You spread your legs open on his passenger seat, only your bathing suit covering your bottom half. You caught him shaking his head from the corner of your eye as your fingers danced around your clothed middle.
“You’re fucking impossible” he muttered
“C’mon, Franco, let me touch you, I miss you so much” you practically whined “please?”
He didn’t say anything at first, just turned back to the road, relaxing and spreading his legs wider.
“You see that street over there?” he pointed through the glass “I’ll stop there to sort you out.”
“If you can last till we get there” you teased, dipping your hand into his shorts before he could even stop you.
He was starting to get hard, you could feel him becoming warmer and stiffer in your hand. His entire body tensed up for a second before he relaxed again. Franco shook his head when you started massaging him. Your palm ran up and down his shaft till you felt him completely hard in your hand, soft sighs leaving his lips.
You pulled away just to move in your seat, settling into a position where you could simply bend over the center console and face his crotch.
"Mi amor, please"
"Please, what?" you teased, lifting yourself till your lips where brushing his cheek, "want me to stop? Just say the word, yeah?" you kissed his face as your hand pulled him out of his shorts, making his eyes screw shut, still not saying anything. "Right, just enjoy, love"
You bent over again, your lips meeting his tip in a quick kiss before you spit on him. He groaned as you paused, waiting for the spit to drip down his shaft. A few more licks, quick kisses and soft touches till you sat back in your seat, leaving Franco confused, looking at you.
"The traffic lights, Franco" you told him, nonchalantly. He drove the car for a couple more meters before turning back to you. "I need you to concentrate, you don't wanna hit anyone in this state, do you?"
Your hand dropped to his lap again, grabbing him.
The spit helped as you started moving your hand up and down. You were being extremely slow with your movements, partly to tease him and partly so he would last.
Your hand worked skillfully around him, squeezing, thumb pressing his veins and his tip, making curses and moans fall from his lips. You tried to stop when he had to drive but it just made him more desperate.
"Don't cum yet, I really need you." you whispered to his cheek.
He nodded, flicking the turning signal on. The noise driving you insane for the next couple of minutes till he finally reached the street. He struggled to turn, almost scraping the car in front but nothing was gonna stop him. He parked behind a building, immediately pulling the handbrake.
"Come here" he whispered, pulling the seat back.
You chuckled as you climbed over him, sitting on his thighs. He finally felt your lips on his, soft and warm as they moved together in a rushed kiss. His tongue pushed into your mouth as his hand dropped to your middle.
You felt his fingers tug your bikini to the side, easily sliding between your wet folds. A sigh left your lips when they pressed against your clit, making you pull away from the kiss. He smiled at your reaction and let his lips drag down the side of your face, meeting your neck.
Franco kissed and nibbled at your neck as you teased each other with your hands, sighs and soft moans leaving your mouths as you did.
“Fran, please” you whined, both of your hands going to his hair, tugging on it.
He nodded and pulled on the side tie of your bikini, making it come undone. Franco didn’t even bother with the other side, he just lifted your hips up and pushed you down on him. Satisfied groans left both of your mouths, your foreheads meeting.
“Ai, mi amor, missed this so much” he whispered, diving his hand into your hair to pull you into a kiss.
Your hands rested on his bare chest as you started moving. His own hand running up your waist to tug your bikini top out of his way. You moaned into his mouth when his cold palm met your breast, your nipples hardening because of the temperature.
Your hips moved against his in a slow rhythm, enjoying the drag of his skin against your clit as he kissed you. That was till he dropped both of his hands to your hips, guiding them up and down. Franco then wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you close to him.
He bounced his legs to help you move on him. His chin rested on your chest as he looked up at you, watching your face twist in pleasure. He couldn’t care less about his pleasure as he saw you use his body for your own.
You were shocked as you felt the warmth of pleasure grown inside of you so early but when your boyfriend took his hand between your bodies to circle at your clit there was no doubt that your orgasm was creeping up on you. Your walls were clenching around his cock as every single muscle in your body tensed up. His legs still bouncing to work you entirely as you reached your high.
He watched and felt all the little reactions your body had as you moaned. Your hands closed into fists on his hair, making him groan at the sting. Franco almost spilled inside you as you convulsed around him but he managed to ground himself, waiting for you to come down and finally pull out.
You smiled and kissed him, sitting back in his thighs. “You could’ve come inside, you know I don’t mind” you whispered to his neck, still lost in the bliss of your orgasm.
“No, I wanted to cum in your mouth, don’t want you to be a mess while we shop”
You smirked and moved away from him, settling back on your seat before bending over to take him in your mouth. He tasted like you when you first took him in so you made sure to clean him off, licking and sucking away all your wetness from him. His hand dropped to your hair, pulling it away from your face before he bucked his hips into your mouth, holding you in place as he shot ropes of cum.
A Spanish curse left his lips in a sigh as he finished and finally let go of you. “‘m sorry”
“You don’t need to apologize, love.” you pecked his cheek, “if I wanted you to stop you would’ve known.”
“You okay, though?” he asked as he tucked himself away.
“Perfect, love” you gave him a peck on the cheek.
You fixed your clothes as he took off and it turned out, there was a better way to the store, you were there in no time.
#franco colapinto smut#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto imagine#fc43 smut#fc43 x reader#a writes
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I am always impressed with how little a lot of students can take away from highschool English. There was definitely some real dross in there, you wouldn't catch me willingly rereading Border Crossing (think Equus but much longer and with all the fun and vitality and rambling about Gods and Place stripped out and add in more descriptions of a middle aged man's sad penis), but they're really trying to get you to at least remember something. Engage with anything at all please.
Best highschool English text for me was by far the class reading of Oedipus. That year's teacher was new but realised she could run the mandatory Shakespeare portion in the mandatory film element and have us read the old dusty copies the school storage shelves had as our play given ancient history was no longer running (teacher who ran it was caught with CSAM). I was one of maybe three kids in the room who knew what was going to happen and was therefore barred from talking about it or being one of the readers. Most of the readers were pretty checked out half heartedly saying words they didn't care to understand or think about much, because it was a great way for the teacher to force participation from the most lackluster students. The moment of the reveal there was a beat and then the kid who's reading Oedipus' parts goes "what?" The wave of calamitous revulsion that radiated out from him at that point, the way you could hear the outlying students starting to eew as the more central ones were going back to "you can't be serious did he really this can't what". The effort that was put in to relitigating the steps of this deduction, the clues to the events that led up to this now with added interest was an incredible change. The instinct of 16 year olds to be like no, adults wouldn't actually trust us to let alone make us act out a literal mother fucking play, a play where someone has fucked his mother and that's been the problem the whole time. The impact of the reveal's aftermath with everyone in the room now at real attention.
Get yourself a group of unsuspecting kids to read Oedipus and some of them will come out of the room grinning from the experience of seeing a real life chorus reacting to disturbing and shocking new information (an incredibly old and well known story). And most of the rest of the class will at least remember something of it I'll tell you that much.
I straight up do not trust you if you did not enjoy a single book you had to read for English class. I know they assigned some real stuffy stinkers and the curriculum varies across districts but not one? Not The Outsiders? Not The Picture of Dorian Gray? Not Fahrenheit 451? Not even Frankenstein? Damn. That’s crazy.
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Threshold
Post-UD, everybody lives. Established Steddie
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Eddie couldn't do it. He turned, ready to run, but Steve's hand clamped down on his arm like an iron manacle.
"Fuck you, let me go," Eddie hissed.
"Like hell I will," Steve replied, just as harshly. "You have to do this, you're the only one who can."
"I'd rather die."
The sales clerk cleared her throat and Eddie snapped his mouth shut.
"Are you-- can I help you find anything else," she said softly, her hands open in front of her.
"No," Steve replied. "Just this."
'This' was a vacuum cleaner. An upright vacuum cleaner with hose attachment and a retractable cord. A one hundred dollar vacuum cleaner.
Eddie felt sick. He pulled his hand away and Steve let it go awkwardly. Eddie cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, just this." He pulled out his wallet and passed over the money. Signing the warranty card in a messy scrawl.
They walked out of the store and loaded the vacuum into the back of Steve's truck.
Steve and Eddie had gotten to the car in silence but once the doors were closed it started.
"Babe," Steve said, his voice soft but firm. "What was that about? We agreed we need a new vacuum. Wayne's old one gave up the ghost and the carpet sweeper does nothing. I thought this was cool."
Eddie groaned and rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "It's not-- it's just..."
He couldn't find the words and Steve didn't press him. The interior of the truck's cab was quiet, windows muffling the noise of other shoppers moving through the parking lot, the occasional sound of their radios drifting on the air.
Eddie took a few breaths, heard Steve do the same beside him - in - out - in - out
"Can I check in," Steve says after a few breaths.
"Almost," Eddie replies and they go back to breathing.
This time Eddie breaks the silence. "It's real, right?"
"Real," Steve echoes. "The vacuum? Yeah?"
"It's -- the vacuum we have now? Wayne got it from the Johnsons before they moved to go live with their kids in Des Moines. It was a really good vacuum. Lasted, like. Seven years. The one before that Wayne found in the trash. It needed some fixing up and the hose had to be taped together but it ran for two years."
Steve hums, just a considering noise to show he's listening but leaving Eddie some spacw to talk. Eddie cannot explain how much he appreciates that.
"The stove was a store display they were gonna toss out because the wiring was bad. The couch was abandoned on a curb up in Loch Nora. Most of my clothes come from the Goodwill; Wayne's too, even his work boots. My guitar, my sweetheart, is a hand-me-down to I don't know how many degrees."
Eddie sighs and tips his head back against the headrest. The ceiling of the cab is upholstered in dark blue fabric. Eddie drags his fingers over it.
"Munsons don't get new things, Steve. Not nice ones, anyway." He blew out a rough breath. "I know this is stupid. It's just a vacuum cleaner, but--"
"Don't say that," Steve interrupted. "If I don't get to say stupid neither do you."
Eddie reached over the gear shift and clasped the hand Steve offered.
"Okay," Steve said. "Do you... should we return the vacuum?"
"No," Eddie said. "No, that's not the answer. We-- I have the money. I can afford a new vacuum, a nice one."
"A really nice one."
"And it's okay to buy new things."
"It really is," Steve said.
Eddie nodded. "We're grown ups now, Stevie. Got good jobs, a nice apartment, a fancy new vacuum cleaner. What's next, a picket fence? 2.5 kids and a dog?"
Steve smiled and pulled Eddie's hand up to his face, pressed a kiss against his knuckles before letting go and reaching for the ignition. "I'm allergic to dogs but let's get home and we can start working on kids."
Eddie reached out for Steve, pulling him across the armrest into a fierce kiss.
Steve fell back into his seat, a bright flush in his cheeks. "Wow," Steve said, starting the car. "What are you gonna do when we buy a house?"
The radio came to life but Eddie could barely hear it over his own laughter.
#fanfiction#fanfic#littlechivalry#my writing#steve harrington#steddie#eddie munson#stranger things#being poor is hard#that first big purchase is incredibly scary#i grew up on hand me downs and coupon clipping#i almost had a panic attack buying my first laptop#it was a thousand dollars - that was insane money#also i have no idea what vacuums cost in the late 80s
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Irresistible
warning: sexual intentions
characters: jobe x fem!reader
summary: when you're going to spend a few days at your boyfriend's house but have more fun plans with him
may contain spelling and translation errors!
It was a warm summer night in Sunderland, and the city seemed to sigh with the heat. You were sitting on the couch in Jobe’s apartment, the lights in the living room low, creating a quiet and intimate atmosphere. You were wearing short cotton shorts and an old t-shirt that you had stolen from your boyfriend years ago, but that still held his scent.
Jobe had just gotten out of the shower, a towel hanging over his shoulders as he walked around the apartment, barefoot, with the black t-shirt tight, outlining the muscles of his torso. He was casual, but somehow he seemed even more irresistible like that. You watched him out of the corner of your eye, trying to hide the smile that insisted on appearing on your face.
He grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen, but noticed your gaze and arched an eyebrow.
—Why are you looking at me?
He asked, with that crooked smile that left you speechless.
You shrugged, trying to appear indifferent.
—I’m just thinking about how handsome you are. Like, annoying handsome.
Jobe laughed, approaching with slow, provocative steps. He bent down, getting to your eye level, still holding the bottle.
—Handsome? Just handsome?
He teased, his voice husky enough to make your stomach knot.
You rolled your eyes, but the sparkle in them gave you away.
—Okay, very handsome. Like, young, tall, charming…
—Ah, now it’s starting to sound better. —Jobe joked, leaning his weight on the arm of the couch, holding you in place. —Go on.
You laughed, pushing him lightly on the chest, but not too hard.
—Okay, that’s enough. I don’t want to inflate your ego.
—Too late, babe.
He smiled, leaning in to leave a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth.
You closed your eyes for a moment, absorbing that moment. When you opened them, Jobe was still there, looking at you in a way that made everything around you disappear.
—What are you thinking now?
He asked, his tone softer this time.
You bit your lip, feeling your heart race.
—That maybe I should hold you hostage.
You joked, but the intent in your eyes was anything but innocent.
Jobe laughed, but there was something in his eyes that showed he was taking the idea seriously.
—Hold you hostage, huh? —He raised an eyebrow. —And what would you do to me, exactly?
You tilted your head, your hand slowly moving up his chest, feeling the heat through his thin shirt.
—I don’t know yet… But I think I would have some ideas, darling.
—Really? —He challenged, his voice deeper now, his eyes fixed on yours. He placed the bottle of water on the table next to you and used his free hand to gently hold your chin, keeping you in place. —I want to hear them all. And maybe even put them into practice.
You smiled but didn’t respond, leaning in to close the distance between you. Your lips met in a kiss that started slow but quickly deepened, the intensity growing like the summer heat outside. Jode’s hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer as you moved onto his lap, fitting perfectly. The heat surrounding you was almost unbearable now, but neither of you seemed to care. In that moment, the whole world could wait.
His hands slid around your waist with a familiarity that made your heart race. Sitting on his lap, your legs intertwined, you felt every movement, every heavy breath against your own body. Your kiss, which had started as a tease, was now something more intense, full of desire and a kind of need that only grew.
—Do you have any idea how impossible it is to say no to you, Y/n?
Jobe murmured against your lips, his voice husky and low, enough to make your skin crawl.
You smiled, your eyes shining as you ran your hands through his still damp hair.
—Oh, I know. And I love it.
He laughed, that deep sound that made the heat in the room seem to double in intensity. Jobe tilted his head to kiss your neck, leaving a trail of light kisses that made you sigh and squeeze his shoulders.
—You're so...
He started, but stopped, his hand going up to the back of your neck, his fingers intertwining in your hair.
—So what?
You teased, your voice a little breathless.
—Irresistible, babe. Irresistible.
He finally answered, before pulling you in for another kiss, a little more possessive this time.
You felt your body heat up even more with the word and the way he looked at you, as if you were the only person in the world. The heat between you was almost tangible, each touch and each kiss seemed to carry the weight of all the times you had held each other, of all the unsaid words, of all the love you shared.
You slid your hands down his arms, feeling the muscles beneath his skin. He was strong, but at the same time, there was a tenderness in the way he held you, as if you were both something precious and something he couldn't live without.
—Did you know I planned on behaving today?
You teased, smiling against his lips.
—Oh, I know. —Jobe replied, with that crooked smile that made your heart melt. —But clearly, I wasn’t in on the plan.
You both laughed, but the laughter soon turned into sighs as the youngest Bellingham slowly laid you down on the couch, keeping his weight on his elbows so as not to crush you. You felt the fabric of your shirt fold under his hands as he explored every inch of your body, as if it were the first time, as if each touch was a rediscovery.
You bit your lip, feeling your breath and his mix. The world around you seemed to disappear. Nothing but the heat, the touch and the sound of heavy breathing seemed to matter.
—You know… —He began, his voice deep and slow. —That I would do anything for you, don’t you?
You felt your heart clench in a good way, as if his words were the answer to something you didn’t even know you were looking for.
—I know. —You answered, pulling him closer. —And I would do the same for you, babe.
And on that warm Sunderland night, while the world continued outside, you created a universe of your own, where nothing else mattered but what you felt for each other.
#dorabellingham#jobe sunderland#jobe bellingham x fem!reader#jobe samuel patrick bellingham#jobe bellingham x you#jobe bellingham x reader#jobe bellingham#jb7#jb7 x reader#jb7 x fem!reader#football x you#football x y/n#football x reader#football fanfic#imagine#fanfic#one shot#jobe bellingham fluff#jobe bellingham smut#jobe bellingham angst#jibe bellingham x reader
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The Lottery V
Read The Lottery here | ~8.7k words
From me: the idea of making this two shorter parts or one long part was a very difficult decision. Hopefully you'll enjoy 💕 I think you'll see Peach and Harry again soon 🥰 you get to find out why I named it The Lottery too
Warnings: you get to find out why Harry is so grumpy so it's angsty and sad af I think. There is def some fluffy and love parts for sure!
Summary: Harry loves peaches. And Peach. She is quite possibly the most important person Harry has ever met.
*I highly recommend listening to Home Run by The Man The Myth The Meatslab*
After work, Harry ran errands. He went to the grocery store for his own house and planned on ordering take out because after working and all the errands, making a whole meal sounded horrible. As he approached the door with arms full of grocery bags, he swore he heard music playing loudly from inside.
He had to be imagining it.
But he tried the handle and was surprised (but also unsurprised) that it was unlocked. The second the door was out of the way she was in front of him. “Hi!” She cheered excitedly, grabbing two bags from his arms and turning quickly to the kitchen to bring them to the table. He stared at her, nearly unblinking as she continued stirring something on the stove. “I found this recipe that I wanted to try,” she explained. Was he dreaming? Most of his dreams involving the pretty bookstore owner and town princess were similar to this moment. Nothing really out of the ordinary except she was in his house, maybe he called it their house in his sleep. But the groceries were heavy on his arm, and he didn’t usually feel pain in the dreams.
“So y’broke into m’house?”
“You break into my house all the time.”
“Because y’leave the door unlocked. You had t’use m’key.”
She huffed. “Look.”
But there was nothing to look at. She kept watching her food cooking. Harry ignored it and put his groceries away. “Do y’need help?” He asked.
She shook her head. “I thought you were going to be home sooner. It’s almost done. I hope you didn’t have plans.”
Any plans Harry would have had would be canceled the moment he saw her. “No plans,” he assured her. “M’jus’... gonna put this stuff away,” he mumbled referring to the bathroom and cleaning items. Harry returned to her putting a plate together and setting it on the table before putting her own plate together. Then they sat and ate at his small dinner table in the middle of his kitchen. It was quiet, they didn’t speak, and she scrolled on her phone as she nibbled on her food. “Peach?” He said quietly. “Something wrong?” He asked.
“What could possibly be wrong?” But whether she realized it or not, she was holding the little moon charm between her fingers, rubbing her thumb along it like it would fix everything.
“Peach. Shouldn’t y’be... I don’t know... out with Malcolm?”
She paused very briefly and put her phone aside before she cut into the delicious-looking fish she prepared. It was covered in a layer of crunchy breadcrumbs and spices. It was beside roasted broccoli with a sprinkle of the same breadcrumbs and spices. Along with cheesy yet somehow creamy scallop potatoes. It smelled incredible and Harry didn’t think he deserved such a nice welcome home. Especially when she was seeing someone else. “No,” she whispered quietly.
Harry wasn’t going to harp on it if she wasn’t. Especially when she looked so upset about it. “Alright,” he said simply and dug into his own delicious food. They ate silently, her scrolling on her phone, reading emails and work orders. She had her to do list notebook beside her as well and she scribbled some thoughts onto the paper. Harry grabbed his book when he got up to grab them drinks. He put more potatoes on his plate and returned to sit across from her reading silently while they ate.
Harry cleaned up while she found a TV show to watch. Something silly and easy to watch. She was snug in the corner of his sofa and Harry sat at the other end. Once he was seated, she stretched out putting her feet in his lap and throwing the blanket along the back of the couch across them. Harry dropped his hand onto her legs and mindlessly rubbed over her blanket covered body. They silently watched TV like they silently ate dinner.
She was used to long periods of silence with Harry. This time was no different. But it was. Because Harry was her very best friend and she was in love with him but couldn’t have him.
“Peach?” He asked. “You’re crying,” he murmured, concern laced in his voice.
“Fuck,” she whispered and turned her head the other way swiping at her cheeks. His grip tightened on her leg.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just... don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing is wrong with you,” he assured her quickly, squeezing his hold on her shin. “What happened?” He asked.
“It’s not like we were in love or anything,” she mumbled. “I just... I feel so underestimated all the time and so...” she swallowed. “No one in my life seems to believe in me... and not like the people in town. Everyone is so lovely for accepting me. I don’t even know why I need approval from people who I hardly see anymore or new people who hardly care about this place... but I do. I need it more than I realize, and I don’t know why. I don’t know why they don’t believe in me,” her voice was so quiet and soft.
“Then fuck them,” he squeezed her leg again. It was the only thing he could do.
She laughed, tears leaking from her eyes again, but it was an honest to God laugh. Harry hated seeing her vulnerable like that. She was amazing in every possible way. It was a tragedy that she could ever see anything but perfection. He smiled. Not quite those rare, genuine smiles that she saw in his eyes that only really appeared around Gemma or Louis. But it was gentle, warm, and made her feel like she would really be okay. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“Yeah, Peach. Of course. Thank you for dinner. Y’didn’t need to do that.”
“Well, I figured if I only ever made food for you when you were sick, you would think we weren’t really friends,” she smiled.
He chuckled quietly, a huff of laughter that he covered with a shake of his head. He turned back to their show and kept his hand moving along the blanket.
“Peach?”
“Hmm?”
“Think you’re m’best friend.”
“Me too, Harry.”
*
If Harry wasn’t working, he would find himself at her bookshop, sitting between shelves on the floor, reading and watching her at work. Watching her during reading-hour was one of his favorite things. Watching her tutor was also a delight. But watching her read while waiting for customers behind the checkout counter was by far the best. The quiet of the moment, the beautiful, peaceful expression on her perfect face.
“You’re staring at me,” she nearly sang while flipping to the next page.
He looked back at his book.
“Now you’re blushing,” she giggled.
He put his book in front of his face to hide from her.
“Do you like it?” She asked.
“It’s cathartic,” he mumbled.
She grinned. She loved it when Harry read his books in front of her while she worked. There weren’t many ways he could reciprocate the way she sat at his counter and watched him cook breakfast and serve lunch. He was handsome and sweet. Her very best friend.
*
She came home to find Harry on her sofa laying across it with the clicker in hand. “Hi,” she blinked in surprise.
“I ordered pizza, s’in the kitchen,” he told her.
She nodded. “Sure,” she glanced at him curiously and walked to her bedroom to change into something cozier. The entire time she heard the TV going, which meant Harry was still there. She didn’t mind his presence. Not in the slightest. But she wasn’t used to seeing him laying on her couch like he lived there. He was usually fixing something or making dinner. This was peaceful and gentle. She went to the kitchen next, grabbed the pizza and headed to the living room again. She curled in the chair turned toward the sofa and TV for conversation and Harry merely continued watching TV as if this wasn’t a crazy moment.
“Everything alright?” She asked.
“Mmm,” he hummed.
“So, it’s okay when you break into my house?”
His lips twitched in his signature smirk, and he shrugged one shoulder. She nodded, biting into her pizza and turned her attention to her TV.
*
They traded off randomly appearing in each other’s homes. But it didn’t take a genius to recognize she wasn’t in his house when she was seeing another guy. Harry still visited her at work but when she talked about the guy she was seeing, he tried to keep his distance at her home to a minimum. It wasn’t fair to her to make that choice and if she was going to be in love she deserved to be in love with someone that wasn’t so grumpy and irritated with the town she loved so much.
But she still came to the diner and even introduced a few of the men in her life to Harry. She convinced Harry to help each Christmas and had him make hot dogs and hamburgers for cookouts in the summer. During the fall he provided hot apple cider per her request and helped her decorate the outside of the bookstore. In the winter he checked on her pipes and after her washing machine broke, he went with her to purchase a new one to make sure they didn’t try to swindle her of more money just because she was sweet and pretty. He even installed it himself.
But one day she came home to get ready for her date with Bodie. She liked him a lot. He was kind, funny, and intelligent. He worked hard and appreciated her love for the small town.
However, instead of heading to her bedroom to change and do her hair and makeup, she found Harry on her sofa. Which was weird as she had noticed the pattern of him staying away from her house when she was in a relationship. “Hey,” she frowned. “You okay, Harry?” She asked.
“Yeah,” his voice was quiet. He was turned toward the back of the couch. “Are y’busy tonight?”
She frowned. “Um... not till later. What’s wrong?”
“Jus’... wanted t’see you,” he mumbled. “Feel like I haven’t seen y’much.”
Did he sniffle? Her heart was going to break. She set her stuff in the middle of the floor and approached him like he was a wild animal. Not because she worried about her safety or that he would attack her. But because Harry was grumpy and angry. He was short and hardly smiled.
Harry was never vulnerable and that terrified her. If he cried, she was done for. Quietly, she sat on the coffee table facing him and watching for signs of trouble or something worse. “Yeah... sorry about that. I’ve been a bit busier than usual lately.” He didn’t respond, just stared at the back of the couch. She reached out. “Harry—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said quickly, his voice shook, and it felt like a knife to her heart. Quickly, she dropped her hand to her lap. After a moment, she nodded, and he turned to lie on his back. He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed heavily. “I shouldn’t have come over,” he said. “I don’t mean t’bother you,” he pulled his hand away and she noted how red his eyes looked. Like he had been crying and so that knife in her heart turned into an entire sword.
“Course you should have, Harry. That’s what friends are for,” she promised.
“Y’have plans,” he mumbled.
She shook her head. “My only plan right now is to be here for you, Harry,” she assured him. “Move your head.” He sat up. She quickly got herself situated at the end of the sofa and then pulled him gently by the shoulder to lay his head in her lap. Her hand immediately dove into his hair. This was the closest they had ever been, and she knew it wasn’t a good move for her heart or her head, but her best friend was sad. So, she couldn’t care about that.
Instead, she watched the show he put on, combed her fingers through his hair, and ignored when the tears leaked from the corners of his eyes.
*
At some point she must have lost track of time, her leg was numb, her fingers were still curled around his soft locks. The TV show had caught her attention more than she thought. Harry was asleep, peaceful and she wished she could have pressed more. It killed her to not help him more, but he was quiet as always. Never letting her in deeper than need be. Sure, she read between the lines, but it hurt a little that he didn’t feel he could open himself up to her. But she understood. Harry was closed off for a reason and that was very okay.
The only reason she ignored the way her leg was losing circulation, and she wasn’t lost in the way his hair felt between her fingers was because of the knock at her door.
Fuck. She mouthed to herself. Slowly she untangled herself from Harry. She carefully lifted his head and placed it gently on the sofa. He turned, settling into sleep and she limped to the door with her leg nearly asleep.
“Hey, love,” Bodie smiled leaning in to peck her cheek. “You ready to go?”
She smiled softly. “I’m so sorry, I should have canceled,” she whispered. “Something’s wrong with Harry and he’s—”
The smile on his face immediately disappeared. “Oh, for the love of God,” he rolled his eyes.
The frown on her face settled and she tilted her head. “What?”
“It’s just... you talk about Harry all the time. He’s your best friend, I get it. But don’t you understand how difficult it is to think about you with another man?”
She bit her lip and looked at her feet. “We’re just friends.”
“I understand, but are you going to put him first forever? Everything you do revolves around this place, the diner, your bookstore. Don’t you want to live?”
She frowned. “I think you should go,” she whispered without looking up.
“Yeah. I was thinking the same thing,” he sighed and headed back to his car. She watched him leave, her heart aching, but it wasn’t hard to notice that it didn’t ache nearly as much as Harry’s sadness made her feel.
When she closed the door, she found Harry sitting on the sofa. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Hey,” he murmured. “Sorry, I fell asleep.”
She shrugged, sat on the chair. But she missed the way his head felt on her leg and how his hair felt between her fingers. “It’s okay.”
Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. “What are y’doing here, Peach?” He asked.
“I live here,” she laughed.
“Peach,” he sighed. “Here. In this town. Y’could be running a company, or... mayor of an actual town. Y’would probably be making more money in a city with a bigger house that didn’t have bad pipes even after y’replaced them.”
“Well... that’s not—”
“He was right,” Harry interrupted making her chest hurt again. The sword turned into a harpoon. “Don’t y’want t’live, Peach? There’s no living here. S’nearly the same thing all the time.”
She swallowed. “Harry,” she frowned.
“I’ve been here m’whole life and s’not...” he rubbed his hands over his face. “You’re too good for this place.” She felt tears prick her eyes. The heartache about Harry’s sadness, Bodie’s uncalled for breakup (even if she wasn’t upset about the breakup), and now... “Stop, I didn’t mean t’make y’cry,” he said hurriedly. “Fuck. Don’t listen t’me. M’jus’...” he shook his head. “M’fucking sad and m’taking it out on you. After y’were so nice t’me and I ruined your date and—”
She smiled, her heart aching a little less. “I’m glad you did,” she sniffled. “I guess—”
“Peach.”
“—I guess I just never liked the city, and I just wanted the feel of being known and not—”
“Peach.”
“—and not just some random person that no one would ever really know because it’s too big out there. There is so much and I’m not—”
“Peach,” Harry’s voice was soft, and he pulled her toward him and cupped the back of her head as he pulled her into his chest. His chin resting on top of her head and he sighed. “M’sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t want you t’go anywhere,” he promised.
She clung to him and nodded. There was nothing else to say.
*
For all the guys she brought around, Harry never brought a single girl around and she could never figure out why. But she never asked. She assumed if he didn’t want to tell her, then he didn’t want to talk about it. So instead, she asked him for pancakes that he didn’t want to make. Ordered pizza and only went over to his house when she wasn’t in a relationship.
He smacked her hand when she reached for sugar and cream. He rolled his eyes when she left her stuff on the counter for hours at a time. When she needed help stocking the shelves he was there. When she shoveled the driveways of everyone in town so did he. He hung up her Christmas lights and made sure she had hot chocolate on cold days.
She made him soup when he didn’t feel well. Made sure she stocked books that were cathartic. Helped serve at the diner when it was busy. And most importantly didn’t tell anyone he was dressed as Santa each year.
“Can I have a white chocolate chip pancake and a peach pancake?”
“No.”
“Please, please, please, please!”
“No.”
“Did you see the moon?”
“Yes, Peach, s’very pretty today.”
“Do you know how to change a lighting fixture?”
“I’ll come over later.”
Whenever he returned from the kitchen with pancakes, there was always a peach pancake hiding the one white chocolate chip below it.
“Muffin today?”
“Please.”
“Did you rotate your tires?”
“Every time I drive.”
“I need some new shirts, could y’go with me?”
“Is this so you can take my car to the shop?”
“Yes.”
“I would love to.”
And so, it went on.
*
Then there was Alex.
No one liked him. They tolerated him for her benefit. There was honestly nothing wrong with him. He was a lot like Bodie. Smart, funny, kind. He had his own business in the city. He supported her. Appreciated her kindness for the small town and like her business. He was also handsome if you were into that sort of thing (which Harry begrudgingly accepted). He didn’t feel threatened by Harry and thought that the idea of settling in a small town was going to be great for family life.
Which was probably why they had been dating for a year. There was sincerely nothing wrong with him.
Except he was not Harry, and everyone in town noticed that for sure.
Alice had no trouble telling Harry that.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Alice,” Ed sighed.
“Harry, we’ve been coming in here for ages and you have never looked at anyone the way you look at her.”
His lips twitched but he hid it because she was still his best friend, and he wanted her to be happy. Harry wasn’t a happy person. Perhaps he never would be. So, if she was in love with Alex, then she was in love with Alex.
And if she stopped coming to his house unannounced then he was fine with that.
Totally, completely fine with it (and he definitely didn’t need to buy a new refrigerator for opening the door so hard it broke at the hinge).
*
“Did you see the moon!?” There was so much delight in her eyes. Harry had heard her say it so many times, it instinctively brought a smile to his face (internally). He had never met anyone so excited about the moon even when it was out seven days a week.
Harry discreetly glanced out the picture window of the diner and caught a glimpse of it. Alex was looking at his phone while she nearly snapped her neck to get a better view of it.
“Honey, seriously! It’s so pretty today, and you can see Venus next to it and it’s just so lovely,” she sighed and got up grabbing his arm. But he nearly paid no mind to her.
“Alex, look—”
“Oh my god. I don’t want to look at the moon! It’s the same moon I’ve seen for years. I don’t care.”
She swallowed the words in her throat. She took a deep breath and returned to her seat. Not at the counter. Quietly, she poked at her food and sipped her tea. Harry thought her eyes looked shiny. The whole diner heard it. Harry felt the smile (internally) fall off his face.
How could he hurt her like that? He wanted to kill him. It was much too quiet and uncomfortable. Clearing her throat, she started with small talk. Things she was going to do that day, errands she needed to run.
The entire time, her fingers danced along the charm around her neck.
*
Hey
Hi...
Everything alright?
Yeah, why?
You don’t usually text me. Unless you want to tell me I’m not allowed to leave my stuff at the counter even though I’m coming back later.
He sent an eye roll emoji. It was hard to be nice to her when she was annoying. But not really.
Yeah... fine. Just...
I was taking the trash out behind the diner... and...
The moon looks really pretty tonight. Have you seen it?
Her heart softened reading the message. She knew what he was doing even if he was trying to be sly about it. But she loved the moon. She stretched in her hammock to look between branches of the trees she was sitting below. Yeah, she had seen the moon already. It was all she could look at tonight. But when Harry said it, she wasn’t going to be the one to tell him she already saw it. Not ever.
Oh! Yes, I hadn’t seen it yet. Look at that :)
Hope you’re relaxing. You deserve it. Night, Peach.
Night, Harry. Sleep well ❤️
There was something about looking at the same moon Harry was at that moment. Sharing something that they weren’t even in the same room for. But maybe, mostly because he had remembered how much it meant to her when no one else did.
Harry continued to message her about the moon every time he saw it over the next few months.
He took a screenshot of that sweet message she sent with the little heart emoji. He wanted to frame it and put it in the diner.
Maybe one day he would.
*
Harry entered his place, and it smelled like baked goods. But to his knowledge they hadn’t broken up. In fact, she hinted that wedding bells were in her future, (so Harry now needed a new stove because the oven door faced the same fate as his refrigerator).
He also wasn’t sick. So, she wasn’t making soup for him. There was no holiday or festival in sight, so she didn’t need help. It wasn’t winter so her pipes probably weren’t broken. So why was she there? Baking in his house? “Peach?” He called.
“Did you move the flour?”
“The cabinet on the right.”
“I’m making cookies for the kids—”
“Peach.”
“—they have their big exams coming up—”
“Peach.”
“I saw this recipe and thought I would give it a try.
“Peach.”
“I thought I had everything, but I always forget something.”
“Peach. Why aren’t y’with Alex?”
She stopped, gripping the side of the counter in front of the sink. She looked at the ceiling. “Because I need my best friend,” her voice cracked, and she sniffled before she wiped her arm across her nose. She shook her head and turned the sink on to wash her hands again.
Harry nodded to himself. Not knowing what was happening but couldn’t bring himself to care. He put his hand on her back briefly and she sniffled again as he grabbed the flour for her. He settled it on the counter and turned her toward him and cupped the back of her head the way he did when Bodie broke up with her. He rubbed his hand up and down her spine while she sobbed into his shirt. The ache he felt for her sadness made him want to cry himself.
He kissed the top of her head. “M’sorry, Peach,” he whispered.
She continued crying for a while. Her hands covering her face as she leaned into Harry’s embrace enjoying the feel of him cradling her like she was something precious. “Did y’see the moon, Peach?” He hummed quietly.
She shook her head. “It’s a new moon today,” she told him.
He snorted. “S’what I get for trying t’help.”
She laughed through her tears making him smile. Perhaps it was because they were in the privacy of his home, and he was heartbroken by her sadness.
But his smile was real and stretched across his face for anyone to see.
Even if it was just the sweet girl in his arms.
*
Harry didn’t ask any more questions about why she needed him. They baked cookies in silence and Harry made her dinner because it had been a long while since they had a dinner in his place. He made her favorite pasta dish and packaged it up so she could take it home when she ate no more than five bites of it.
Instead, they watched TV in silence. Seated on two different pieces of furniture and he glanced at her way too often assuring himself that she was okay when she didn’t seem to be at all. Eventually, he noted her eyes were shut, her neck awkwardly turned and slumped against the corner of the sofa.
Carefully, he took her shoes off. Brought her feet onto the couch turning her ever so gently because he didn’t want to wake her. He made sure the remote was within reach on the coffee table. Then he covered her with a blanket.
He would be up before her for the early morning breakfast, so he left her a note to come get her silly pancakes. Or her weird omelets if she wanted them. He would even throw in a muffin to go, and her coffee would be cold just the way she liked.
Then Harry went to bed with the sweet bookstore owner on his couch.
*
They didn’t talk about the night before. Harry didn’t smack her hand away from the cream and sugar but only because she didn’t reach. When she only ate two bites of her pancakes, he packaged them up for her to take home. They didn’t speak and Harry didn’t read her little to-do list.
“Have a good day, Harry,” she murmured getting up from her seat.
“Peach?” He asked.
She looked up at him, her fingers touching the moon charm once more. His eyes flicked to the movement and then back to her eyes. Saddened, exhausted. God, was that what Harry looked like? No wonder she was constantly trying to make him better.
But she couldn’t look that way. No. She was perfect. Pretty and lovely. Intelligent and kind. She couldn’t get grumpy the way Harry had. “New moons symbolize new beginnings.”
She smiled, it hardly reached her eyes, but it was better than the flat expression across her face. Her cheeks glowed a little brighter, her eyes a little less sad. “Yeah,” she nodded. “They do.”
“So... every twenty-nine and a half days... y’can start over if y’have to. If y’need to.”
She nodded again and smirked. “Twenty-nine and a half? Did you do some research?” She laughed from the doorway.
“Something like that.”
*
What Harry hadn’t anticipated was her coming back for dinner. He assumed with all the leftovers she would be happy at home. Her dose of her grumpy friend no longer necessary. Perhaps she would call Bailey, who was arguably a much better person to assist her in relationship troubles. Or even Louis would have been a better call. At least that may have ended in some laughs at Harry’s expense.
But instead, she was back at the diner. Sitting at the counter as if it were the morning.
Harry headed back to the grill to get plates of food and returned to find Alex sitting beside her. She faced forward. No food in front of her, just her eyes focusing on the pots of coffee that were empty—waiting to be refilled for the morning.
“I didn't mean for it to happen. But when I look at her, my bones ache, love. I want you to have that. I want you to have a love like that. But you won't have it with me,” he told her.
She continued staring at the back wall behind the counter. Swallowing hard. Trying to ignore him. He pleaded with her. Only to make himself feel better for breaking her heart, Harry was sure. For stringing her along. How could she love so hard and not have someone love her back? She won’t ever forgive him. She can’t do it anymore. It’s not fair.
“Alex, just go,” She closed her eyes, and her voice felt weak. She was exhausted. It was plain on her face. She didn’t want to talk anymore. Especially not to Alex.
“Honey...”
“No.” Her voice was just a hair stronger than it was a moment before.
“Please just let me—"
“I really need you to leave,” her words were shaky. Cracking on every other syllable. She squeezed her eyes closed tighter. Like she could make the image of him breaking up with her in front of everybody go away. This was a dream. She was going to wake up any minute. But the pain was a lot. It felt like someone had ripped her tired, broken heart out of her chest.
“I don’t want you to think—"
Without warning, she slammed her fist on the counter gathering the attention of everyone in the diner. “I need you to leave,” her voice was so quiet. So different than the shake she just gave the counter, let alone the entire diner. Harry felt horrible. So completely horrible.
With a long look, Alex stared at her before leaving without so much as another word of apology.
Without truly realizing, Harry had followed him outside after the unending silence.
"Hey!” Harry had never confronted one of her boyfriends before. Not the one that told her she ate too many pancakes. Not the one that told her that her bookstore wouldn’t survive in a small place like this. Not the guy that told her she looked better when she styled her hair on special occasions. Or even Bodie who thought she was more than this town and even if that was true, he could have supported her anyway.
But this one... this one that just stopped loving her. Because of someone else. As if someone else could possibly compare to the most beautiful, kindest, most intelligent person he had ever met.
Alex turned around and sighed, rubbed a hand over his face. "Harry, I didn't mean to—"
"You jus’ lost the lottery,” he interrupted. His heart was pounding, and it felt separate from his brain. Like he is all too aware that his heart shouldn’t beat that fast nor be beating so hard for the girl that was heartbroken at the counter. But he couldn’t figure out why he chose today to confront Alex... and even his own feelings.
There was a deafening silence as he processed Harry’s words. "One in a billion. No. One in eight billion." Harry didn't move, just stared at him. "And you're throwing her away," he shook his head slowly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and sighed, defeat falling over his posture.
"I'm sorry,” Alex said. “But I couldn’t... we all deserve happiness,” he promised. “Even idiots like me.”
Harry had nothing else to say to him, so he returned inside. People were staring at her silently as they pecked at their plates of food. Individually, Harry headed to each table and quietly requested that every one of them leave.
Food’s on the house.
I think she needs a minute alone.
Please, just go quietly.
Once everyone was outside, he left a crate in front of the door for empty dishes for people to finish and return once they left. Harry flipped the open sign to close. He headed to the kitchen and whipped up the fastest batch of pancakes he had ever made: one peach and one white chocolate chip.
“I wish someone loved me that much,” she whispered to no one.
Harry came from the back and set the two pancakes in front of her. He met her teary gaze with his.
“Eat your pancakes.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Peach,” his voice was gentle but still very firm. “Eat them, please,” he repeated.
She picked up her fork and drowned the plate in syrup. Harry wondered why she didn’t just drink it straight from the bottle. Mum was insistent that food would cure anything. A cold. a broken leg.
A broken heart.
She had tears rolling down her cheeks as she ate but Harry ignored it. “Never had a peach and white chocolate chip pancake before.”
She sniffled. “Yeah?”
He smirked. “Been making them for you for so many years. But no... Never.”
She smirked through her tears. “Figured you were eating them back there to keep your ratios on par,” she cut a piece of each one off and held her fork out to him. He took the bite enjoying the little piece of her that existed in her favorite breakfast. It was delicious. He could see why she would want one of each.
He chuckled around the bite. “Gave up on worrying ‘bout the ratios,” he shrugged.
“How come?”
“Y’eat them enough t’save the ratio in spades.” Harry felt like he won the lottery just by hearing her laugh; especially when she probably didn’t want to. “Do y’want t’watch a film?”
She nodded. Harry picked up her plate and let her lead down the hall. He flicked the lights off to the diner as they walked back to his little apartment home. She fit in the room so easily. Quickly, she made her spot on the sofa, Harry sat close beside her. Harry didn’t pay any mind to the movie he picked. In a matter of minutes, she was drowsy. The movie was nearly irrelevant because she was nearly asleep half a dozen times throughout the movie.
“Did y’fall asleep?” There was a smile in his voice when he asked the first time.
“No,” she mumbled.
“Peach... y’fall asleep?” She muttered a quiet no, again. She could still hear the movie. But the third time, she was simply too tired, physically and emotionally to respond. “Kitten, are y’awake?” She couldn’t speak to even register he called her something new. She was too tired. She simply continued listening to the movie playing and Harry asking her if she was asleep.
“My mum died out of nowhere,” he told her. It felt like someone punched her in the stomach. “It broke me. Broke me t’pieces,” his voice was nostalgic. “I was twenty almost twenty-one. She didn’t even see me graduate.” She should have told him she was awake. He didn’t want him to spill his secrets to her if she was awake. That much was clear in the way he asked the last two times. “Gemma had been stuck here t’see the aftermath of everything. I needed t’finish school even though I didn’t want to. She tried so hard t’keep this place afloat, but she didn’t like cooking, and she didn’t know how t’run a business. I didn’t want t’come home. It broke me all over again. Because I was already weary. Didn’t want t’relive the hometown heartbreak I suffered. This girl I dated from town. She wanted nothing t’do with this place, but I loved this town so much, Peach. I loved it like you do. So maybe s’on me. Because she said she wasn’t going t’stay and it broke m’heart. It broke m’entire plan t’stay here. I hated it here. I hated that it wasn’t enough for her. For us.”
This wasn’t right. Listening to him when he was sharing something personal that he clearly didn’t want to tell...but she was in too deep now. “M’plan turned t’helping Mum find people t’run the diner for her and then move away. Find m’own footing. That had been the plan since I started college. And then Mum...” he sighed and paused. She wondered if he could hear how fast her heart was beating. “I graduated. I cried. I drank.”
Her heart hurt. “I thought maybe I’ll jus’ burn the place down. If Mum’s not here, what’s the point?” His voice was so quiet. “Gemma was heartbroken. She was there when it happened, and she couldn’t stay. Didn’t want t’stay and how could I let her? She was holding everything together. She’s a superhero m’sister,” he whispered so quietly. “She didn’t know what t’do. But she knew she wasn’t any help. She told me it was okay t’sell it. T’move away. T’escape the heartache.”
She tried to think of this little town without the diner. Without Harry. It would be missing something. She was sure. But staying here, the ghost of a girl who was clearly just not good enough for his sweet heart and the ghost of his mother and the family that had to leave because it was too much, she understood. Of course he wanted to leave. How could anyone blame him? “I had a realtor. I had a buyer. A lawyer. I had it all. It was only days away from turning into something and I jus’ had this horrible breakdown before I opened,” he reminisced, his voice was far away. She heard him swallow audibly. His voice cracked. “I was sobbing on the floor over a dozen broken eggs.” The sound of the movie was gone. She couldn’t hear anything but Harry and his soft breathing. Her stomach hurt at the thought of his distress and wanted to make it go away retroactively. If only she had a time machine. If only she could have known him and done something. If only his mom was still there. “I begged Mum for a sign. I wanted her approval. Afraid I wasn’t doing the right thing. Afraid she would hate me for running.”
Of course she wouldn’t have. Harry was... Harry. No one could hate him. Especially not his mother. “I think everyone kinda knew it was coming. Even though I didn’t tell them. I was going t’tell them that day, actually. That I was selling and moving and... the diner would be no more. End of a chapter. End of a life. End of a story.”
She could hardly take how sad it all was. No wonder he was grumpy. She couldn’t figure out why he was telling her. She inhaled a little deeper, ready to tell him she was actually awake and that of course his mother wouldn’t hate him. Never. Not even from wherever her soul was out in—
“But then this insanely intelligent, beautiful girl sat at m’counter. Asked for one peach and one white chocolate chip pancake. Told me the ratios didn’t matter. That she would like t’open a tab.”
She swore her heart stopped. Time stopped. Everything stopped.
“Y’can’t have a tab if there was no diner,” he said simply, a shrug in his voice.
Like it was that simple. That in asking for a tab erased all that heartache. How different her life in this little place would have been without Harry through the years. She couldn’t imagine it. Her best friend just not there. Who would dress as Santa? Or help her rake leaves in the fall? How would she set off the fireworks?
“I didn’t think I would ever be happy again and y’jus’...” there was a quiet pause that seemed to last for hours. Harry’s voice sounded wistful. Like he was remembering every moment since she moved. “Y’were opening a bookshop and y’moved into a house with bad pipes. I didn’t want you t’be stuck in the dead of winter with no hot water,” he continued. “Y’jus’ wanted pancakes and cold coffee, and I didn’t want t’be the one t’stop y’from getting whatever you wanted. Peach, y’love this town like y’grew up here. Y’take care of everyone and everything. Y’are endlessly kind and wonderful and the most annoying person I’ve ever known. Y’love the moon when all anyone can talk about is how nice and warm the sun is. You are everything I wanted and all y’did was waltz into m’diner on one of the worst days of m’life.”
There was no way Harry couldn’t hear her heartrate flying. It felt like a hundred dragonflies were trapped in her ribcage begging to get out. “M’nearly certain I’ve loved you for as long as I’ve known you. The moment I met you and made you your ridiculous pancakes and all those omelets. M’never going t’stop loving you. No matter how many stupid men you date that don’t know that you’re the best thing that’s ever graced this town, this world, and especially my life.”
The sound of the movie seemed to come back as Harry stopped speaking for a bit of time. The movie filled the silence instead of his words and she felt like she might need to cry again. For several moments she kept quiet, trying to calm her heart. When she felt a sufficient amount of time had passed, she reached up to rub her eye with an exaggerated yawn. “Fell asleep again,” she sniffed turning to Harry. He was smiling at her with a little nod in the way he always did. A smile that didn’t spread across his face, but it was in his eyes.
“I know,” he whispered very softly.
“Sorry. Can we watch the movie another day?” He nodded again, still gazing at her. “Are you okay?” She asked.
“Should be asking you that.”
She bit the inside of her cheek. “I think I’m okay.”
“Y’sure?” He asked. “I... I wanted t’kill him. T’be honest.”
She shook her head. “He’s not worth it.”
“No? Thought y’wanted to marry him.”
“He...” she sighed. “He doesn’t like the smalltown life after all,” she shrugged then looked at Harry with a smile. “He doesn’t care about the moon.”
He grinned ever so gently at her. Not quite those secret smiles that he hid from everyone, but it was more than his signature twitch of the lips. “Yeah?”
“I can’t be with someone that doesn’t care about the moon.”
He felt his cheeks warm and was glad the room was dark aside from the glow of the TV. “I never really thought ‘bout the moon until y’rolled into town.”
“No?”
“M’more of a sunrise guy with the diner.”
She smiled. “I like the sun too.”
“The moon is better. Y’can stare at it without hurting y’eyes.”
She giggled. “That’s true.”
“I think ‘bout y’every time I see the moon,” he murmured.
She was closer to him than she ever had been even when he held her the night before and kissed the top of her head. She could feel his breath on her face, and she loved his eyes so much. They were so pretty. “What about when the moon is gone?”
“I think ‘bout the moon in the middle of the day, as soon as I wake up, and as the sun sets.”
She doesn’t know why it was then. Why she didn’t know...how she didn’t know. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. The way he looked at her. The way he always looked at her. Harry was her best friend, and she never thought he loved her beyond that. She thought he only barely tolerated her as a friend. But the look on his face...
“Oh,” she managed. Breathless, her heart pounded. Harry didn’t date. Harry didn’t... love... right? Harry didn’t really love her, did he?
But he did. He told her (albeit, what he thought was her sleeping body). So, she wasn’t supposed to know that. Not really. Maybe he was just saying it because he felt bad for her and how upset she was. But he shook his head and smiled—really, really smiled.
“Peach, y’have m’whole heart,” he shrugged one shoulder as if this wasn’t the biggest deal in the entire world. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Whenever you’re ready,” he said simply. “M’not going anywhere.”
*
She woke up and it was still pitch-black out. With a glance at the clock on her bedside table she found it was only four thirty and she was so awake. Even Harry wouldn’t be awake yet. She didn’t feel sad about Alex. Why was she crying about him yesterday anyway? He wasn’t Harry. He wasn’t someone who anticipated things she needed done and offered to do them before she knew it. Harry thought about her like she was an extension of him, which is exactly how she thought about him. He showed up when she least expected it but he was there.
Her fingers skimmed the moon charm on her necklace. Something she couldn’t stop wearing if her life depended on it. The thought of losing it made her nauseous. It was so comforting to have a piece of Harry with her all the time. How could she think she could marry someone that wasn't him?
Was it too soon? Maybe. But it was a long time coming. Had been for so many years. Harry was hers. Maybe whether he wanted to be or not. Because she loved him from the moment that she met him, and she couldn’t have imagined a more perfect person than him.
Hard pass. You need a nice bubbly guy like you.
Harry wasn’t bubbly. But he was nice, and he was more than perfect.
Suddenly, she was out the door running. Running through the quiet, sleeping town. Did she close her door? Maybe Edith or David would do it for her. She barely stopped when she got to the front of the diner. Harry wasn’t down yet—of course he wasn’t, it wasn’t even five—so she knocked on the door rapidly; peering through the glass waiting for the most perfect man she knew to appear. She could have used the key, but this was important, and Harry needed to open the door.
After what seemed like eternity, Harry came from the back: hurried, no shoes, and still in his sweatpants.
“Peach, what are y’doing? I hate when y’come here this early when s’dark out. On foot. What if someone snuck up and kidnapped you?”
“Oh my God, Harry. Shut up about being kidnapped. Everyone in town knows me.”
He snorted. “S’not good t’run in the near dark—Fine, whatever. Peach, what’s wro—”
She pulled his face to hers and kissed him. For so many years she dreamed of his lips. How soft they would feel, how nice they would feel. It felt electric. He tasted like toothpaste and summer. His skin was warm, and he loved her.
Harry reached down and cupped the back of her thighs, pulling her legs around his hips. She looped her arms around his neck, clinging to him wishing she could get closer somehow. He closed the door to the diner and fiddled with the signs. Opening late. She imagined the sign was being placed in front of the closed sign. Harry kept one arm beneath her butt, supporting her against him as he walked across the diner and placed her on the same stool she sat on each morning.
He brought his hands to her face, sliding his fingers through her hair, his thumbs skimming across her cheeks as he kissed her again. Her mouth was so warm.
“I could hear you talking last night,” she whispered against his skin as his lips moved to her jaw. "During the movie." She had to tell him the truth about some things. Many things. Some things she hadn’t thought about in ages. Some were still fresh. If this was going to work, she needed Harry to know everything.
“I know y’could, Peach,” he hummed quietly and moved across her collarbone, pausing to kiss the moon charm around the chain. His lips started their ascent up the other side of her throat. Her skin felt hot, tingly from head to toe. "Wanted you t'hear."
Her heart ached a little less. “Is this too soon?” She asked.
He shook his head. “Feels like s’been too long,” his kisses worked up the side of her face, skimming every inch of her like he was going to draw her face with kisses on a canvas and he was measuring what that would look like with an outline.
“Harry,” she whispered, shivering slightly. He didn’t respond as his lips were at the top of her head, kissing her hair line. “I’ve... I’ve known your mom passed away... since I moved in. Alice told me the first week I was here.”
Harry paused his kisses. He drew back to look her in the eye. There was a pucker of confusion between his eyebrows, and he looked at her like he had never seen her before. “Y’never said anything,” it wasn’t accusatory. It wasn’t mad. It wasn’t sad. A statement. That’s all he said.
“You clearly didn’t want to talk about it.”
His heart swelled. “Y’never... treated me differently.”
“I never asked about your mom, Harry. You didn’t notice?”
Well, now it seemed so obvious. “No,” he mumbled.
She smiled weakly. “You weren’t ready to tell me.”
“Y’didn’t look at me with pity.”
She shrugged. “You did that in spades.”
He smirked and rubbed his thumb on her lip before he took it between his again. “S’much as I want t’make more memories on this seat, s’going t’get light soon,” he pecked her lips and scooped her back up. There would be someone walking their dog and they would peer in and see something they shouldn’t. “But ‘ve wanted t’kiss y’in this seat for ages,” he assured her. He gripped behind her thighs again rewrapping them around his hips and lifting her into his arms again. He kissed her the entire way down the hall to his little home behind the diner that made his heart hurt for so many years. Now it was filled with peaches. So many sweet memories to take away the hurt.
“Harry,” she whimpered as he nipped at her skin.
“Y’taste so sweet, Peach,” he mumbled into her mouth. She shivered, making Harry squeeze her tighter. Then she smiled against his lips. Her fingers tangled in the back of his hair. She ground her hips against him in a needy fashion that she never imagined she’d ever get to do to him. He groaned softly into her neck kissing a path across her collarbone again. “Easy Peach,” he hummed. “M’pretty... starved for attention.”
She huffed a breath of laughter. “You can have all my attention,” she promised. “I’m not going anywhere, Harry Styles,” she pulled his face back so she could read his eyes. “Ever. I’m going to die on that stool in your diner eating peach and white chocolate chip pancakes when I’m a hundred years old.”
He smiled. That genuine, gorgeous smile that she loved so much but he kept so hidden. “Perfect,” he whispered and captured her lips in his again.
“I’m glad it was a new moon,” she whispered.
“Me too, Peach,” he laid her gently on his bed, stripped his T-shirt over his head. “I needed a new beginning.”
“Hey Harry?” She whispered.
“Hmm?” He pulled his sweatpants off next. Leaning to get them off his legs which left him in the perfect position to kiss the length of her leg, starting with her ankle and working his way up to her hip.
“I love you too. In case it wasn’t obvious at this point.”
He stopped, looked up at her, peering into her eyes like he was going to gaze at her for eternity. “Peach,” he said simply. “I’ll never stop loving you.”
--
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Strategic Allignment
Alex Morgan x Reader imagine
The dining room of my father’s mansion was a monument to old money, a place that could easily have served as the backdrop for some dull historical drama about the aristocracy: glimmering chandeliers that cast shadows over the polished mahogany table, velvet curtains that hung like somber reminders of the walls closing in.
The air was thick with something far worse than just fine wine. It was the scent of suffocating expectations. I knew it, and Alex Morgan, the American soccer prodigy sitting across from me, seemed to know it too. Both of us, trapped in the tangled web my father had woven for us, had adopted the same uncomfortable posture, shoulders stiff, eyes darting away from the elephant in the room—the very one sitting right between us, looking smug at the head of the table: my father.
I could feel the weight of his gaze, trying to drill through me, but I wasn’t going to let him win. I never did. With a flick of my wrist, I broke the silence, my voice smooth but with the bite that had earned me a reputation. "Let me get this straight," I said, leaning forward slightly, letting my sarcasm bleed through every word. "You’re marrying me off to her because… what? You ran out of business partners to exploit?"
My father, unfazed as always, didn’t even blink. His hand rested perfectly on the table, a symbol of control, as though this whole conversation was a mere inconvenience. "It’s not exploitation, sweetheart," he replied, the words falling from his mouth like he had rehearsed them a thousand times. "It’s strategic alignment. The Morgan and Y/L/N families merging through this arrangement will benefit both parties immensely."
The word "alignment" hung in the air, as though I should care about it. My eyes narrowed. "‘Strategic alignment’? Is that what we’re calling human trafficking these days?"
The tension that settled in the room could’ve been cut with a knife. Alex, sitting stiffly in her seat, didn’t make a sound, her face betraying a blend of confusion and forced politeness. But I caught it—the slight cough, the faintest hint of amusement trying to escape her lips as she swallowed her water. At least someone found this entire circus amusing.
"You know, Dad," I continued, tapping my fingers on the table for effect, "you’ve really outdone yourself this time. A soccer star and a business contract all rolled into one. What’s next? Marrying me to the next tech CEO to boost our Wi-Fi signal?"
My father’s eyes flicked to me with a glint of frustration, but he held his ground, ever the image of indifference. "Y/N, this isn’t up for debate. The wedding is in two weeks. You’ll thank me someday."
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, instead meeting his gaze with a blank stare. "Oh, sure. I’ll send a heartfelt thank-you note from the honeymoon—assuming I survive the sheer embarrassment of this circus."
Alex shifted in her chair, finally breaking the silence with a soft laugh, one she quickly tried to stifle. "For the record," she said, her voice calm but carrying an undertone of awkwardness, "I didn’t agree to this either. I was just told it’s happening."
I turned to her, my smirk finding its way back onto my face. The sarcasm practically dripped from my words. "And you’re just going along with it? What, they promise you unlimited cleats and a lifetime supply of protein shakes?"
Her lips twitched, and for a second, I thought I might actually crack her, but she quickly masked it, her poker face coming back with a practiced grace. "No, but the idea of spending the rest of my life with someone so… charming was hard to resist."
I leaned back in my chair, studying her for a moment, then let out a low chuckle. "Ah, sarcasm. A girl after my own heart," I remarked, tapping my fingers on the table with a thoughtful expression. "I knew there was something about you that wasn’t just… football and bright smiles."
Just as the words left my mouth, my father, finally losing his patience, cut in. "Enough," he said sharply, his voice more commanding than ever. "You two need to make this work. I don’t care how. The media rollout starts tomorrow, and you’ll be acting like a blissfully engaged couple by then."
I couldn’t help it. The sarcastic impulse was too strong. "Blissful?" I repeated, my voice dripping with mock enthusiasm. "Got it. Should we practice our public displays of affection now, or do you have a PowerPoint on it first?"
"Y/N..." His voice dropped to a growl, a tone that was supposed to be threatening but only made me roll my eyes harder.
I stood up from the table, stretching lazily as though I wasn’t bothered by anything. "Relax, Dad. I’ll play nice," I said, tossing my napkin onto my seat. "But I’m going to need a drink, though. Or twenty."
As I turned to leave, I heard Alex’s voice behind me, light but sincere. "For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about this. It wasn’t my idea either."
I paused at the doorway, glancing back at her. My smirk returned, sharp and calculating. "Don’t apologize yet, Morgan. You haven’t even seen me in action."
Her eyebrow arched in genuine curiosity. "Should I be scared?"
I gave her a wink, then turned and left the room without another word. "Terrified," I called over my shoulder, my voice carrying the weight of a promise I wasn’t sure either of us was ready for.
I was nursing a glass of wine in the library when the door creaked open. Alex stood there, framed by the dim light from the hallway, as though unsure if she was stepping into enemy territory or a sanctuary. She hesitated, her fingers wrapped around the doorframe, her posture stiff. It made her look almost… human. Vulnerable, even.
I didn’t bother glancing up from my glass, the liquid swirling lazily in the crystal. "Let me guess," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, a perfect match for the situation. "You’re here to discuss our ‘strategic alignment.’"
There was a beat of silence before she chuckled—genuine, unguarded—and stepped further into the room. "Actually," she said, her voice steady but laced with something that could almost be called concern, "I came to ask how you’re holding up. This can’t be easy for you."
I slowly raised my eyes to meet hers, a dry laugh escaping my lips before I could even stop it. "Aw, concerned about me already?" I leaned back in my chair, letting my smirk widen. "You’re making this fake marriage feel so real."
She raised an eyebrow, amusement flickering behind her eyes. "Are you always this sarcastic, or is it just because of this... situation?"
"Who, me?" I lifted my glass in an exaggerated gesture, swirling the wine, letting it settle before speaking again. "This marriage is just the cherry on top of the disaster sundae my life’s been serving me. The sarcasm is practically a reflex at this point."
Alex shook her head, her lips curling into a small smile that she couldn’t quite hide. "You really are impossible, you know that?"
I looked at her, meeting her gaze for the first time since dinner, and for a split second, I saw the flicker of understanding in her eyes. It was strange, the way it almost felt like we were in this together, despite the fact that neither of us had chosen this.
"Yet here you are," I said with a soft chuckle, raising my glass to her, a mock toast. "To impossible people and ridiculous situations."
She didn’t hesitate this time. Her fingers tapped the edge of her glass, though she didn’t have one in her hand. Her eyes locked onto mine as she mirrored my motion, her voice light, yet edged with something darker, almost resigned. "And to the fact that we’ll probably kill each other before the wedding."
I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound escaping from deep in my chest. It was a laugh of recognition, like she understood exactly what I meant. Maybe it was just my sarcasm speaking, or maybe it was the truth we both saw hanging between us. I leaned forward, the glass in my hand glinting under the low lights. "That’s the spirit," I said, savoring the words with a devilish smirk.
There was a long pause, and for the first time that night, the silence didn’t feel heavy. It wasn’t the awkward kind that hung over dinner, suffocating the air with every word. No, this felt almost like… mutual acknowledgment. Like we were on the same page, even if we didn’t want to be.
She leaned back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest, her face still half-hidden in the shadows. "You know," she began, her voice low, almost thoughtful, "I didn’t ask for this. Neither of us did."
I took another sip of my wine, letting her words linger in the air. "No, but here we are anyway," I said, my voice flat, like it was something I had resigned myself to long ago.
Alex nodded, her eyes flickering to the fireplace across the room, though her focus was clearly somewhere else. "I hate how your dad thinks he can control everything. I don’t even know why I’m here, honestly. Just doing what I’m told." She exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair. "But I get it. He’s not exactly the type to give you a choice, is he?"
I couldn’t help but let out a humorless laugh. "Oh, believe me, if I had a choice, I’d be anywhere else right now. Anywhere but here, pretending to be engaged to you, a woman I’ve barely said five words to."
She looked at me then, her expression softening, just a little. "You’re not the only one stuck in this, you know."
I didn’t know what I expected her to say, but something about the honesty in her voice caught me off guard. I thought I was the only one dealing with the weight of this mess, the only one battling the invisible chains my father had wrapped around me. But here she was, feeling just as trapped, maybe more.
I set my glass down with a soft clink, leaning in slightly. "Yeah, well," I said, my voice quieter now, almost contemplative, "just because we’re stuck in the same situation doesn’t mean we’re going to get along."
Her gaze was steady, unwavering, as she met my eyes. "No, it doesn’t," she replied with a quiet intensity. "But we might as well make the best of it. For whatever it’s worth, I’m not here to make this harder on you, even if I seem like the enemy."
The words hit harder than I anticipated, and I almost found myself speechless. She wasn’t just some stranger being shoved into this. Alex Morgan, soccer icon, was just as much a victim as I was in this ridiculous charade. For the first time that night, I saw her as something more than just a pawn in my father’s game—a woman who didn’t ask for any of this.
I didn’t respond immediately. Instead, I leaned back in my chair, letting the silence stretch between us, allowing the weight of the situation to settle. She wasn’t wrong. We were both caught in this, for better or worse. And maybe, just maybe, there was a way out—or at least a way to make it through the storm.
"I suppose," I said, my voice low but tinged with something closer to resignation than sarcasm, "we’ll have to see how long we can last without driving each other insane."
Alex’s lips twitched in amusement again. "I don’t know about you," she said, her voice lighter now, "but I’m aiming for a solid six months before I snap."
I laughed, the sound escaping more freely this time. Maybe we weren’t as far apart as I thought.
"Six months?" I said with a grin, the sarcasm creeping back into my tone. "I’ll give it a week. You’ll be begging for a divorce before we even get to the aisle."
Her smile widened. "That’s the spirit," she said, matching my playful challenge.
And just like that, despite everything, the weight of the world seemed a little lighter. Maybe this absurd contract my father had drafted wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe, just maybe, it was the beginning of something else entirely.
#uswnt#uswnt players#alex morgan#alex morgan x reader#alex morgan imagine#imagine#one shot#fanfic#woso#woso x reader#alexia putellas#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso soccer#smart contracts#business#gxg#women football
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i love that you don’t put sonic as a jerk in your headcannons but rather supportive! this is so cool, because sonic really wants all of his friends to be happy and with amy wouldn’t be different, specially since they’ve known each other since they were children and sonic himself said that she is a special/dear person to him so i agree he would be happy if amy and shadow got together. as much as i love sonamy, i also love shadamy (sorry for the long ask it’s just that is not that common seeing sonic being portrayed like this in some ffs)
Thanks for the compliment! This one means a lot because I think I’m actually harsher toward Sonic sometimes than a lot of modern shadamy writers are. I say “modern” because new “Amy goes for Shadow because Sonic is a jerk” stories are actually few and far between. It’s easy to think they’re all over the place because there absolutely are a lot of them, but the ones I run into are usually from, like...2012. If you sort by Date Updated on AO3, it tells a different story, pun intended. I believe there are three main reasons for this:
1. Since half of shadamy fans started shipping them in SA2 two and a half decades ago, a ton of us are in our 30s now, writing more mature stories with more fine-tuned characterization. This is one of the advantages of having an ancient ship.
2. It’s a tired trope. We’ve all read a million of them. Most people don’t like how Sonic acts in them for his sake, but my biggest gripe is that they undersell what Shadow has to offer. He’s not just good for Amy because he’s Not Sonic, he’s good for her because of who he is.
3. Sonic treats Amy much better than he used to. The reason “Sonic is a jerk” fics were so common 10-20 years ago is because he was a jerk, almost exclusively to Amy.
These fics exist because no other character works better than Shadow as an arbiter of justice for something that bothered a lot of Amy fans at the time.
More on this under the cut. Lots more. I got kind of carried away.
It’s easy to forget how bad Sonic was when we have games like Frontiers and comics like IDW and Mega Drive now:
Between new fans who aren’t as familiar with older games, longtime fans who haven’t looked at their history in a while, and fans who love Sonic and just don’t want to see him in a bad light, tons of people sweep his old behavior under the rug without even realizing it.
I don’t think any of that is fair to Amy.
A brief reminder of their dynamic in the past:
1. Constant abandonment. He ran from her in Sonic Adventure...
...Sonic Heroes...
And four times in SA2 alone! More on that later.
2. Standing her up on dates. This mostly happened in Sonix X...
[Episode 42, episode 45]
...but there was also Sonic and the Black Knight, where he didn’t show up, didn’t apologize, never made it up to her, and made no attempt to reschedule.
3. Uh...literally hurting her, for some reason...?
At the end of Sonic Riders, when he didn’t feel like properly handling a hostage situation:
Oh, welcome back, episode 42! Didn’t expect to see you again:
The new version of Sonic Generations altered this cutscene, thank god, but back in 2011, players saw this:
4. And the worst part of this, to me, is that he lets her get her hopes up. It’s not just the almost-dates he skips. Knuckles teases Sonic in Heroes, saying, “Are you playing with that girl’s heart again, Sonic?” It’s intended as a joke, but then he does things like this:
Sonic X, episode 52. You know what roses are, Sonic, you know how she’ll interpret this, and you know you won’t follow through.
I know I’m picking on Sonic X a lot, but it was pretty popular at the time, even among fans who didn’t touch the games or comics. This was how they saw these characters growing up, and it made its way into countless fics.
But even after all these years, no matter which continuity you work with...he still won’t give her a solid “no.”
Not liking someone back is fine. Not being interested in a relationship is fine. But letting her believe she’ll win you over if she chases you long enough isn’t, and that’s what he’s doing to this day.
Fans throw around the same tired old “justifications” over and over for why he is/was like this to Amy, but they don’t hold water. People say he’s mean because he doesn’t know what to do with his feelings for her, but he liked Elise, too, and he was nothing but kind to her.
(Putting this here because although fans don’t like to admit it, Elise was indeed intended to be a love interest. She and Amy are presented on par here, so if you think he likes Amy, then he liked Elise, too. You get exactly the same result regardless of who you choose for this trial.)
The other frequent “justification” is that he ran and lashed out because he was afraid of her, often accompanied by awful Amy hate (“stalker,” “psycho,” etc.). This also doesn’t work because Sonic was always harsh to Amy no matter how gentle she was. Classic Amy is the sweetest, most adorable little munchkin in the world...
...and he still ran away.
^ These are from the same exact comic, by the way: IDW Sonic’s 30th anniversary. Five pages apart. How in the world could anyone not want her around?
Amy had more spunk in Adventure and Adventure 2, but she was just as sweet, and he still treated her like a pest to be swatted. The ending of her story in SA1 is this:
But...why should she have to? He treats everyone else with the same baseline of respect, at least until they give him a reason not to. Why is it just Amy? He wasn’t just mean to her, he was uniquely mean to her. She didn’t act out until Heroes in 2003, when she’d already been ignored for years. Standing on the sidelines wasn’t working, so she tried being more “proactive.” Was it the right way to do things? No...but I honestly can’t hold it against her. It makes sense in context. She was a kid, and kids act out when they’re neglected.
And this is where Sonic Adventure 2 comes in.
SA2 was pivotal for Amy. Nearly everyone tossed her aside; Sonic left her behind four separate times in this game alone. First was right after she broke him out of jail on Prison Island. He ran off the second her back was turned:
Second, he and Tails both walked away from her after Eggman blew up the moon. She easily could’ve gotten arrested here.
Third, Sonic and Tails made a plan to stop Eggman right in front of her, blatantly leaving her out of it as if she wasn’t even there:
...which, if you’ll recall, led to Eggman holding her at gunpoint:
...and when Sonic set out to rescue her, this was his recap:
This does not work as a joke given how they treat her. He pretends she doesn’t exist to her face, then says this behind her back.
And immediately after that, when it was time for them to save the world, they left her alone again.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I was furious by that point.
But then...something interesting happened.
A photoset or gifset can’t do this scene justice, but I think most shadamy fans have already seen it plenty of times. For the few who haven’t, you can watch it here.
The contrast between Shadow and Sonic is impossible to ignore. By building up this moment the way they did, the writers primed us to notice it.
Sonic runs from Amy’s hugs, while Shadow would like more of them, please and thank you.
Sonic pretends she doesn’t exist, while Shadow’s moved to tears and changes the course of his life because he values what she has to say.
Anytime they’ve interacted since then, he’s been uniquely respectful and gentle with her. It’s what she deserves, and for a long time, this was all we had. He was all we had.
The other half of the equation is that it is very, very easy to picture Shadow taking Sonic and the others to task for their mistreatment of her. As a blunt person who’s not afraid to confront Sonic, Shadow is the most believable candidate to this day. The only person to fully respect her from the start also happens to clash with the person who hurts her most often? Of course those fics exist. It’s a perfect storm.
And it’s no wonder that this attitude persists somewhat even now, because Sonic is still doing this, even if he’s “nicer” about it. That prison escape from SA2? The one he never thanked her for? He still gives all the credit to Tails for that, even up through Frontiers:
Amy. Amy broke you out of prison. Tails broke in, and then she snuck through a maximum-security prison, somehow stole a card key, and saved your life. We’re in the 2020s, but he’s still disrespecting her. And don’t get me started on the TailsTube Secret Santa episode.
It feels like Sega wants us to forget all of this ever happened, and it has some very confusing results. From that same Sonic 30th anniversary comic from above, the one where he and the others abandoned her:
Like...this? This is lying. He’s just lying to her. I can’t tell if they think we all collectively have amnesia or if it’s some weird, mean-spirited joke at her expense. I genuinely don’t know what they’re trying to say.
It’s not enough to pretend it never happened and move on, not to me. Sonic should be held responsible for what he canonically did. Him supposedly being bad with feelings didn’t make it hurt her any less, and he’s older than Amy, so he should’ve been the mature one.
The longer the writers keep this up, the worse Sonic looks, and I don’t think that’s what they’re aiming for. Ignoring the problem is not a solution. Amy might forgive, but I’ll never forget.
I just want to see a canon apology so I can reason out why she put up with it for so long. I want to at least be able to buy her having a crush on him. I can do that when he’s being selfless and heroic. I can’t do that when he treats her like the plague, and pretending he never did doesn’t match the Sonic I legitimately like. I bet a lot of s0namy fans would like to see a resolution like that, too.
Sorry to turn your thoughtful compliment into a rant. I really do appreciate it, and I’m glad you enjoy the stories!
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