#it prolly took a bit for them to figure out how to communicate and care for one another and like. worry over one another in a way that

[favvnsongs]

everyone makes the carolina & tex "you're not my real mom" jokes but like. she and epsilon have Definitely had a "fuck off you're not my father" conversation.

[kendrixtermina]

Appreciating the Range of Type 6, or, one stereotypical example, and three that aren’t.

I want to tell you about some type 6 ppl that I know in my personal life.

Exemplar #1: F. B.

Complete Stats

Wing: 5 p or cp: largely phobic – lots of safety worries, outright authoritarian follower personality Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 613  - 6w5 1w2 3w2 (“The Taskmaster” or “The Middle Manager”) jungian: ISTJ / SLI-Te oldham: Conscientious & Aggressive Essence Type: Mars Temperament: Pure Choleric

What he’s like:

Not pleasant.

Every “strict conservative middle aged guy” stereotype in the book. Control freak, makes a mountain out of every molehill, sees the world as full of axe murderers, judgemental as fuck, horrible temper and yet completely impersonable, all his opinions are copypasted from right-wing news sites. When they say war is good he’s for war, and when they say war is bad he’ll be like “At least Trump did not start any more wars” without perceiving a contradiction. Despite this, he believes is very hot, principled and funny. He is none of these things. He puts people down nonstop. My knowledge of neurochemistry tells me that he must have emotions somewhere or he couldn’t function, but I ain’t ever seen a single one of those emotions. They’re all for his job and a few trusted mentor figures. And his mom. At least he loved her.

If you say anything he doesn’t like, he “throws the sofa out the window” as his wife once put it.

How he’s a Type 6:

Well, he’s pretty much every negative stereotype in a nutshell… other than distrusting his partner. But that might be cause hes sx blind, or cause the wife is big on monogamy & wouldn’t ever cheat.

The one positive trait of 6 that he has is that he does his research. Before moving anywhere he googles the crime rates and if you need a doctor he might find you the best one. But even that can be overriden by ideology (hydroxychloroquine!). And if you don’t take his exact advice, there goes the sofa out the window again…

And I guess the work ethic from all 3 parts of the trifix really comes through – he hasn’t had a single bad grade in his life and always keeps collecting new certifications, and will make sure you hear about it...

Exemplar #2: I.

Complete Stats

Wing: 5 P or cp: pretty much an even mix of phobic and counterphobic Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 614 - 6w5 1w2 4w3 (Would prolly call herself “The Big Pain” rather than “The Philosopher” ^^°) jungian: INTJ / ILI-Ni oldham: Serious & Conscientious Essence Type: Saturn Temperament: Chlor-Mel

What she’s like:

I’d describe her as serious, mature, discerning, focused and passionate about her friendships, if perhaps somewhat forceful at times, with a dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

Comes across like someone who knows what she’s talking about, with well-articulated points.

Often the Responsible Sibling, Designated Sanity Checker or Bullshit Detector.

Prefers to plan everything in advance in typical Ni dom fashion, even amusement part trips. Gets somewhat anxious without a future plan or shedule.

Often mistaken for a whole lot more sociable and confident that she really feels inside. (even I kinda bought it and got her whole darn trifix wrong on my first typing attempt, though that was when I was new to typology) She can act the boss act temporarily to get the situation over with, but she actually hates making decisions.

She does however have the occasional cute/pure moment where that lower function block comes out.

How she’s a Type 6:

She has saved our family from many a terrible restaurant by making sure to check the reviews. The preparing for all possible dangers is very 6, the acting tough outwardly when youre inwardly anxious, the intellectual problem solving & some tendency towards organization/responsibility/ “logistic” intelligence.

One online test she took gave her 5w6 instead of 6w5 but that’s probably just the ITxx-ness leaking in. I remember this one time we were discussing this artsy-fartsy theater play to which we’d had fascinatingly different reactions, and at one point I half-jokingly said something like “But does anyone ever really feel connected to others, or is that a myth?” to which she wrote, “[Name], what the fuck? Yes I do.” and then immediately deleted it. That’s more of a 6 reaction innit?

Nonetheless the wing does feature in significantly – for example she got very well informed about a lot of topics because she researched them to assuage a random survival-related fear, like, “How to make sure I have enough retirement money”

Exemplar #3: M.

Complete Stats

Wing: 7 p or cp: largely phobic Instinct: sp/sx Trifix: 692 - 6w7 9w1 2w1 (Fortunately very much a “Good Samaritan” rather than “The Stockholm”) jungian: ISFP / SEI-Fi oldham: Sensitive & Devoted Essence Type: Lunar-Venus Temperament: Pure Supine

What she’s like:

Precious! Sweet, nice, good listener, friendly, gives all the best gifts. But also perceptive and good at understanding people, eg. mediating to the parents when one of the younger sisters is having An Emotion™ or winning the trust of problem children.

Unlike I. Who has some soc that helps her keep track of a larger circle of friends despite her introversion, M. tends to enjoy the closeness with her family and have just a few very close friends. Excellent friend material all around! The sx and Se also come out in enjoying art forms involving the body like theatre or dance.

She can be a bit shy, conflict-avoidant and occasionally a lil bit panicky though.

As a small kid she used to be super duper shy but then a wise english teacher encouraged her to play a big role in a play, and since then she’s a lot more confident and doesn’t let ppl push her around without limit, though she’s still a quiet, helpful person. There you see the difference that a good teacher can make.

How she’s a Type 6:

For one thing she moves and emotes faster than a core 9 would, and she fits the body language – big eyes that move around a lot, stands a bit lopsided, talks in a shrill voice on the rare occasions where we exhaust her patience etc. As a xSFx and a w7 she shows mostly the “warm, friendly, likeable” side of type 6. She also has a very 6-ish tendency to very frequently ask people’s opinions & feedback before making decisions. (the other fixes probably add to this)

Alas, she also has a little bit of of the fear/insecurity.

Also she has a social/care job which might be seen as 6-ish desire to serve the community.

Exemplar #4: J.

Complete Stats

Wing: 7 P or cp: largely counterphobic Instinct: sx/soc ?? definitely not sp first. Trifix: 638 - 6w7 3w4 8w9(?) (Shall she be a “Justice Fighter” or a “Kyle”? Only time will tell.) jungian: ISTP / LSI-Se ?? Oldham: ? some Dramatic & Serious, perhaps ? Essence Type: Definitely Mercury Temperament: San-Mel

What she’s like:

The first adjective that usually comes to my mind is ‘cool’. Sassy, energetic & a little bit tough, but also affectionate when she wants to be. (though in admiring way rather than a mushy one)

She says the coolest things, has a certain sly sort of cleverness, and an astonishly good poker face. Bit of an occasional prankster. Hilarious. Knows all sort of cool science facts. Avid gamer. 

Not especially popular or over the top sociable, but she gets sad if no one pays attention to her a while. Will act visibly moody where ppl can see sad or worried and can catastrophize a bit in such situations.

How she’s a Type 6:

I first though we might be getting an ExxP type 7 since she was a pretty energetic child, but once puberty hit and independent thought manifested, she turned out a whole lot too reactive and ‘edgy’ for this, and more on the ‘moderate introvert’ side of things.

Since then the sisterly dynamic has been like one fluffy golden dog and 3 hissing black cats. Hissing Cats #1 and #2 are very proud of her, but cat #1 was forced to conclude that she’s probably not a positive outlook type.

Out of all the reactive types 6 fits best because she does broadcast group identity (like wearing merchandise of her favorite media and wearing buttons in solidarity with ppl she likes.) & has a big case of Big Sibling worship for M, I, and someone else who isn’t on this list due to being a 9. (a 4 or 8 might like their older siblings but probably wouldn’t constantly stress the admiration.), but she can also show lasting, pouty displeasure with authority figures who have slighted her. (Like that one time I went too far in teasing her...)

I’m just assuming the 8 fix because that tends to make 6s more bold, louder & more shameless.

Basically she is the “punk teen” type of 6. She can be a bit dramatic & over-the top but still come to her family on advice (even advice on pranks!) in ways that xSTPs of other enneagrams prolly wouldn’t.

She also tends to use self-deprecating humor in tough situations and deflects compliments to present herself as ‘ordinary’.

...

This may sound like I’m really getting down on my first example (I won’t pretend that I’m not) but the point in bringing him up is that the reason he’s like this is: He was subject to really bad parenting that put a lot of fear into him, there was no good parenting to teach him broader coping strategies, he lived in a crappy environment that crushed his dreams, in a sense ‘confirming’ those fears and making him double down, resulting in a person who is just always rigidly following the same predictable pattern or jumping from one automatic reaction to the next with very little pausing and thinking. That goes for the other types too: A ‘stereotypical’ person is a desperate person ruled by fear, who cant stop or soften up even for an instant cause they constantly feel this fire of threat under their arse.

A lot of descriptions say that 6s ‘Follow authority’ but most would balk at the notion – ‘I do the research!’ they might argue ‘I don’t just trust anyone’ or ‘I’m actually a rebel’. There is of course such a thing as denial  that’s more like the extreme case.

But with a more average, functional 6 it’s not so much ‘obedience’ as that they just like to bounce their ideas off of others to get feedback, or that they feature in other’s viewpoints. So you might get someone who can naturally use feedback (something other ppl may have to learn first) or who is very considerate of others (which others might have to consciously remind themselves to do.)

Those are sometimes pretty good traits actually.

On the other hand this is probably part of what makes decisions hard cause they consider all these possible scenarios of how things might displease or cause harm to everyone involved.

Being able to naturally snap into Action Mode under stress looks a bit enviable from the outside, but I. assures me that it’s actually super stressful & exhausting, even for someone who doesn’t get to a point of just being unreasonably aggro at you.

Though even an extreme case like F.B. would probably claim that he ‘did the research’ even as he’s 1:1 quoting the Pope at you, and then saying that you ‘have to be respectful’ even if you don’t even believe in Christianity. Hence why you get a lot of authoritarians talking about “disrespect”. You didn’t “fail to obey”, you “disrespected the flag” or  “hurt the feelings of the Chinese people”. Because they’re still trying or inwardly thinking that they’re doing the consideritation & considering other’s PoV thing when they’ve long since crossed from respect and consideration into mindless obedience, all while still thinking that they’re very sceptical and discerning cause after all they really distrust the other political party or whatever.  

In a way you get this obsession with ‘mind control’ cause they’re not unaware of & very much looking to guard the blind spot. They’re adults trying to do adult things.

For example, if I voiced an opinion to F. B. which he didn’t like, his reaction was often to ask “who told you that”

That’s just how he seems to think opinions work, somebody tells them to you.

Makes one wonder how he thinks new opinions start.

Yeah - Nobody told me that. I concocted it myself in some corner of my head. And in the interest of objectivity, I should stress that you can also end talking out of your ass that way, if you’re not basing it on enough outside data. Making up new shit has more of a quadratic than a linear learning curve – at least with copying you get something semi-useful right away. In making up your own you might be really off a long time before you stumble on something useful.

Also, I was young at the time and it’s not wholly unreasobale to think that an inexperienced person might be duped. I reacted really badly in part cause he hit my own ego buttons cause I was of course proud of this epiphany that I had concocted by myself, and now he says (or so I perceived it, being sensitive to accusations of incompetence) that I’m too dumb to form an opinion, so of course I launched into full Obnoxious Reddit Dude Mode.

In I. It manifests more on a reasonable useful level like “Oh wait, should [young cousin] be on TikTok? I don’t want him to get sucked into some cultish BS.” which is at least something the parents should have on the radar/ warn him about even if they do let him use TikTok, because for all that it is vital for him to get his experience with independent socializing & experimentig with sel-presentation, people do sometimes get suckered into cults or goaded into unsafe tests of courage.

And in a sense… maybe they overamphasize it but to some extent they’re also simply consciously aware/ mindful of it. The rest of us are not immune to propaganda after all, solong as it’s presented in a way pleasing to our egos. Any type structure can become a ‘hook’ if you’re not careful.

[shameless-selfship-indulgence]

Girl Help Part 2

I wrote this in a fucking frenzy

there’s no, like, content worth warning about in this one though

"calais," said Marvus. "cuh-LIE-is. soundz like a troll name."

"A troll name?" asked Calais.

"fo sho babe," said Marvus. "six n six. marvus xoloto. trizza tethis. all part o da fxxked up hellawhack shiznack dat dictates r planets whole history n shit. twelves all over da dam place."

"Is that what you are?" asked Calais. "A...troll?"

Marvus blinked at her, a slow, lizard-like blink. He gave a low whistle. "dam we gotta start w da basics here."

The planet was called Alternia, the species was called trolls. The entire society revolved around a rigid caste system based on blood color, which divided trolls into twelve distinct subtypes with different physical traits. Red was at the bottom, Fuchsia at the top.

"its all bullshit tho," he added at the end. There was a flash of something in his eyes.

"What was that thing you were doing?" asked Calais. "Earlier. To me."

Did Marvus stiffen ever so slightly? Was that a flare in his nostrils? His eyes flicked up and down Calais with lightning speed before he leaned back with affected nonchalance.

"chucklevoodoos," he said. There was something guarded in his voice.

Calais blinked at him for a second, hoping that the jumble of noise he had just poured at them would sort itself out. No luck.

"Chuck-a-what?"

"chuck-el-voo-doos," said Marvus again. "purpleblood shit. wuz doin it 2 every1, not jus u."

"You mean like...mind control?" Calais guessed.

Marvus frowned. "controlz a strong word 4 it, my dude. its more like vibez."

Calais suddenly understood something.

Should she say it? She usually liked to have her cards on the table. She did it as often as she could, in the hopes that the other person would do the same. She got the feeling this man wouldn't, though.

But then again, he already had all the power in this situation. The only hope that she had was to try to build some sort of relationship with him, and she liked it when those were built on trust. Besides, she liked being honest better. Easier to remember her answers.

But still, a voice in the back of her head screamed at her to think it through a bit more, even as she opened her mouth and blurted out-

"You don't like that you can't control me."

Marvus looked slightly taken aback. He narrowed his eyes a bit. "no, I don't," he said slowly. Candidly. His hand started to edge towards his cane.

Oh shit, he thought she was trying to flex on him. Calais started to fumble, multiple different de-escalators and disclaimers colliding on the way out of her mouth and throwing random sounds everywhere.

Eventually she managed to concentrate enough to form real words.

"I-I mean you CAN," said Calais. "You CAN control me. I just hate it. I hate it enough that I can tell that it's happening."

Marvus paused. Calais continued, trying to explain everything in a rush.

"Not that it feels bad. It feels good. That's what I hate about it. I can tell in my head that it's not how I'd normally feel. I know that normally I'd be...repulsed. Normally I'd have a sense of...boundaries. And what's gross and what's not. And whatever the chuckle thing does, it doesn't stop me from being scared. I'm always scared of that."

"scared of wat?" Marvus asked. His teeth glinted in a smirk. "gettin ur pail on?"

"My what?"

"dam. dunno wat pailing is? gettin freaky, babe. all concupiscent n shit."

"Oh. I mean. Yeah? I'm kind of scared of it...I mean." Calais stress stimmed a little. "It's more that I'm scared of not being in control? Like, did you know that being horny actively lowers your disgust response? Even without the voodoos or whatever. Literally, the only reason that we can enjoy reproducing is because we no longer have an accurate sense of what's gross and what isn't. That's what I don't like. The idea that I could be in a situation where I'm doing all these, just. Objectively disgusting things? And LIKING it? And not being able to tell that it's nasty? Or even being able to tell and not caring. I hate it. I hate it so much. It scares me. And I definitely don't want to be like that around another person."

"huh," said Marvus. "never met any1 else like dat."

Calais shrugged. "Maybe because they don't come to whatever it was you were doing."

"nah," said Marvus. "I seen ppl roll up who didn't want 2 b there. they come around in the end." He tilted his head at them. "prolly cause ur an alien," he said, seeming to decide it as he said it. "pailing n murder r pretty normal mental states 4 us. disinhibition doesn't bother ppl."

He looked a little more relaxed now for having come to this conclusion. Calais figured that was a good thing.

"so wat r u?" he asked.

"Oh! Um. We call ourselves humans," said Calais. "Uh, we all have the same blood color, so that's not a thing...and I'm pretty sure nobody has any psychic powers, either."

"dam. wat do u do then?"

"Uh..." Calais puffed air through her cheeks. "I dunno. I'm not sure what to tell you. Whatever it is would be completely normal for me, so..."

"wat color's ur blood?"

"Um, red?" said Calais.

Marvus winced, but he was smiling. "ooh. dats gonna b rough."

"Yeah, I was gonna say..." Calais curled into herself a little, then remembered her ribs and winced, stopping up short.

"how'd u get here?" asked Marvus.

"I...have no idea," said Calais. She blinked. "I don't know. I don't know at all. I was suddenly just. Here."

"where were u b4?"

Calais looked around, as if the answer were written somewhere in the room. "I...I don't know!" she exclaimed. "I mean, I must have been somewhere, but I don't...I can't..." she started to wring her hands.

"woah, woah, babe, calm down," said Marvus, lifting his hands in a placating gesture. "it's all gonna b ok."

Calais shied away from him instinctively. He was awfully close. But she realized that the fact that this bothered her was a good thing.

"What did you see?" she asked.

Marvus shrugged. "u weren't there. then u were."

Calais wondered briefly if he was telling the truth. But even if he weren't, there was no way they would be able to tell. They would have to take him at his word.

"That's...not very helpful," they said absently.

Marvus laughed. "guess not. dam."

"I don't know what I was doing before I came here, I don't know how I got here, and I don't know how to get back." Calais thought for a bit, chewing her lip. "M-maybe someone at the concert saw? Someone in the mosh pit?"

"m tellin u babe, there was nuthin 2 c," said Marvus.

"Can we...check?" Calais asked carefully, looking warily at her clown host.

Marvus smiled, a somewhat easygoing smile that was nevertheless a little too toothy. "my concerts r wild, my dude," he said. "they was deffs all distracted. n they're all prolly all hells 2 the indisposed atm."

Calais dimly remembered the general reaction - or lack of reaction - to their appearance and realized that this was probably true.

Calais looked at Marvus, running calculations in her head. She was starting to realize how this was going to go, although she didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to need him. But she needed somebody, and...

"u don't have anywhere 2 go, do u," said Marvus. It wasn't really a question.

Calais flinched. "Yes," they said.

Marvus drummed his fingertips against the table he was leaning on. They clicked on the wood. Calais realized that his fingernails were claws and swallowed hard.

. "tell u wat, babe," said Marvus. "m on the homeward part of my tour atm. y don't u come w me n we'll see if we can figure out how 2 get u home."

Calais closed their eyes and took a deep breath. Don't think about the creepy clown, don't think about how you feel, just consider him, consider yourself, consider the situation, there's no need to be scared if you just figure out what's going on and why you're afraid...

Blessedly, Marvus let her sit there in shut-eyed silence until she was able to put her thoughts together and turn to him.

Direct communication. It was something that she liked.

"You want to keep me near you," she said. "You don't know what to make of me, and you want me in...in, like, your hand."

"well yh," said Marvus. "dats all true. but dat doesn't mean it can't b mutually beneficial, ufeelme? yeah ur an alien n u might b useful n shit but dat doesn't mean I can't help u 2. u do need somewhere to stay right? alternia is vy dangerous. 'specially 4 mutants n aliens. 'specially 4 mutants n aliens w red blood."

"I do need your help," said Calais. "I just..." pain and trauma emboldened her; fear wasn't enough to keep her quiet. "I just don't want you to pretend your motives aren't selfish. I don't want you to pretend anything. It's okay that you want to use me...I mean, it's not okay, but I don't exactly have a choice and I probably can't fight you so at the very least I want to know that that's what's happening, get it?"

She picked at flecks of teal under her fingernails and realized for the first time that it was blood. Their stomach lurched and they froze, setting their hand back down. "I'll probably be more cooperative than you think," she said quietly. "As long as I know what I'm getting into. I mean. When you manipulate someone, you want to make them feel at ease, right? Like they can trust you? So they'll do what you want? Well, I'll feel way more at ease if I think I can trust you. If I know you're telling the truth. Even if it's bad. So just...don't try to sell me anything. Do you understand?"

She glanced up at Marvus. He was shaking his head slowly. "ur a rlly weird alien," he said. "sure. if dats wat u want."

"Do you promise?" asked Calais.

Marvus nodded. "fo sho, babe. promise. but m not tryna use u. not yet @ least. ur a wild card. jus wanna keep an eye on u 4 now."

"Right," said Calais.

"so it's a deal, then?" asked Marvus with a smirk. He held out his hand.

Calais looked at his hand, then back up to his face. Hesitated. Then reached out and took his hand.

Marvus' grip was strong, and his hand seemed to swallow up her own. Calais strengthened her grip, but she got the feeling that no matter how tight she squeezed, it  wouldn't impress him.

He grinned at her and gave her hand a quick up and down shake. She seriously doubted that he was trying to make a show of strength, but it still felt as though he could wrench her shoulder from its socket, just by shaking her hand.

"alrite then. it's a deal," he said.

Calais pulled their arm back against her chest. A deal.

This creature was, evidently, not Satan. Just an alien with horns and freaky mind powers. But that didn't keep the phrase "deal with the devil" from reverberating wryly through her mind.

[arsonforcharlie]

Get to know me uncomfortably well: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100

jesus christ

put under a cut because i want to make absolutely sure nobody reads this massive amount of information and also did you ask for EVERY NUMBER EXCEPT 69

1. What is you middle name?

marie

2. How old are you?

28

3. When is your birthday?

november 9 and i bet you didn’t even get me a present, you absolute monster

4. What is your zodiac sign?

scorpio

5. What is your favorite color?

i like jewel tones in general, my fave right now is dark green

6. What’s your lucky number?

i don’t really have one, tbh

7. Do you have any pets?

i do not, unfortunately. i hope to at some point soonish but a lot of that is gonna depend on how my situation shakes out

8. Where are you from?

st. john’s, newfoundland

9. How tall are you?

5′4″

10. What shoe size are you?

9

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

i’m not getting up but like 7? i need to get a new pair for working in and i will be getting rid of the ones i don’t wear so that number is in flux

already answered 12

13. What talents do you have?

none, really. but i’m alright at knitting and generally, like, figuring out how physical objects work and go together. my friends also tens to enjoy the games i run so that’s nice.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

bitch read my mind and find out

15. Favorite song?

i cannot express how impossible it is for me to pick ONE FUCKING SONG that’s my favorite. here’s 5 i always go back to, though!

my tyrant- felix hagan and the family

northbound- grace petrie

staring at the sun- mika

too much- carly rae jepsen

vampire money- my chemical romance

already answered 16

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

well there’s the mushy option in which i name names, but i resolutely refuse to do that since i’ve been informed nobody cares about how queer i am. but generally, i tend towards people i can feel comfortable around. despite me being a huge slut for interacting with people, there’s very few that project the kind of atmosphere that lets me really just chill and start thinking about trusting them.

18. Do you want children?

jesus no don’t put me in charge of a child

19. Do you want a church wedding?

jesus no, even the wedding part of that sounds less than ideal

20. Are you religious?

lmao nah

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yeah, a few times

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

well i have a background check going through right now that’ll answer that for me but i think i have not ever been caught for my many crimes

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

a few- i met russell crowe on a set once, and there’s a good few smaller time canadians i’ve met just, like, around

24. Baths or showers?

i usually go for showers because i am living in a place with an insufficient bathtub setup, but i have been known to enjoy a nice bath now and again

25. What color socks are you wearing?

bold of you to assume i put on socks when i’m not going out

26. Have you ever been famous?

bitch i’m famous now everyone else just doesn’t know it yet

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

probably not, i like the act of grocery shopping and going to shitty bars and disappearing, and i couldn’t do that if i was a proper celebrity

28. What type of music do you like?

loud and i can imagine myself being in a cool music video when i walk places listening to it

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

well yeah obv

already answered 30

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

usually on my side curled up around something, either a person if i’m lucky or a pillow

32. How big is your house?

the apartment is not big enough atm

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i don’t usually eat breakfast at all tbh

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

no but i have held one once

35. Have you ever tried archery?

once in high school gym class. i did...... bad

36. Favorite clean word?

i like words that describe the way dragonfly wings look. diaphenous and iridescent and things.

37. Favorite swear word?

i’ve always been a fan of a good solid fuck, and you can quote me on that

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

two days, i think?

39. Do you have any scars?

yep

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

yeah but they were prolly goofing

41. Are you a good liar?

not under most circumstances

42. Are you a good judge of character?

no, but not in the usual way. i tend to assume people have a lot more hidden motives than they do. like, obviously you don’t want to be FRIENDS with me, you just are PRETENDING for SOME REASON

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

yeah, as a matter of fact, i can do them ALL AT ONCE

44. Do you have a strong accent?

most of the time no, but when i’m talking to people with a strong accent from back home mine slips back

already answered 45

46. What is your personality type?

while i rarely get consistent answers, i just took the myers-briggs again and got enfp so there’s something

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i don’t own much that’s super expensive tbh, i’m broke as shit. my boots cost like 60 bucks and i stressed about that for ages

48. Can you curl your tongue?

yeah, i can do a lot with it

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

nah

52. Favorite food?

there’s so much food i love! i do have dumplings i am excited to eat tho

53. Favorite foreign food?

again, there’s so much! i am really craving a good currry today i guess?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

a bit messy, especially with stuff that isn’t, like, a hygenic risk. if things are just out of place i don’t tend to register that as the same level of unclean as, like, food messes

55. Most used phrased?56. Most used word?

these two are ones my friends could probably answer more reliably than me. i do say i’m not a doctor tho

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

not long, unless i’ve decided it’s a makeup day and i want to do something dumb and fancy

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i talk a big game, but not really, i’m pretty down on myself a lot

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

succ

60. Do you talk to yourself?

mmhmm- specifically, rehearsing conversations that will never happen

61. Do you sing to yourself?

sometimes, when i’m in a good mood

62. Are you a good singer?

absolutely not

63. Biggest Fear?

there’s a few, but i’d say the biggest one i’ve had the longest is a loss of identity of some sort. like, just not recognizing the people around me, that sort of thing. it’s gotten a bit intense recently due to events but yeah

64. Are you a gossip?

not really- like, i will gladly listen to your drama but i only really talk about it to other people if it actually affects me

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

oof jesus, i tend to watch more shitty horror movies than anything else bc i’m hot trash

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both are fine on other people, but short hair is way better for me

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

just did a quiz and only got 40. i didn’t even remember all the ones i had been to so that’s cool. you guys have too many states anyway

68. Favorite school subject?

i was your standard weird queer kid who imprinted on my english teachers

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

nah

71. What makes you nervous?

so many things tbh

72. Are you scared of the dark?

nope

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends on the person and the mistake, really.

74. Are you ticklish?

fuck off

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i don’t think so?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

i’m a dungeon master, does that counts

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeop

78. Have you ever done drugs?

yeop

79. Who was your first real crush?

my best friend in elementary school. i wanted her and i to get married to brothers so that we could live next door to each other and have sleepovers every night because i really liked sleeping next to her and doing her hair

hoo boy baby bobbie (i even knew lesbians as a kid! i grew up in such an accepting family! i have no excuse for being so repressed)

80. How many piercings do you have?

just one ear

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

not competently

82. How fast can you type?

pretty fast- i did take a test recently that came back at 68 wpm so my goal is now to get one word faster

83. How fast can you run?

fuck running

84. What color is your hair?

black with green bits, i post a lot of selfies, you know that

85. What color is your eyes?

grayish blue

86. What are you allergic to?

nothing that i know of. undefeated

87. Do you keep a journal?

i post on tumblr a lot

88. What do your parents do?

my mom works in communications- she used to work in politics but now she works for a non-profit because the staff of the party she worked for was, in her words, a “sack of vipers”

my dad was a journalist and a photographer. he was the editor for the paper back home for a long time, and then after that he did a lot of advocacy work for MS. he ran for office a few times. you know, like you do.

89. Do you like your age?

it’s alright. like, i got troubles but i accept that none of that is because i’m 28 and mostly just because i got myself into a dumb situation

90. What makes you angry?

mostly when people don’t seem to care about how their actions affect others. like, i can almost accept malice easier than a profit motive

91. Do you like your own name?

it’s not bad, and i haven’t really hit on any that i like more than bobbie

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

lmao nope

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i want the child to be born to someone who is not me

94. What are you strengths?

not very many tbh i kinda suck as a human person. i am pretty good at compartmentalizing and staying kinda functional when shit goes down

95. What are your weaknesses?

all of them. specifically, i’m hard to motivate and i got depression

96. How did you get your name?

i was named after my grandmother

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

i know at least one was a criminal. i do have a kickass family crest and tartan tho

98. Do you have any scars?

they haven’t faded since i answered question 39

99. Color of your bedspread?

there’s a gray one and i have a blue weighted blanket i use sometimes

100. Color of your room?

the whole apartment is beige

[normal-thoughts-official]

Spare opinions and headcanons on trans magnus

[cracks knuckles so hard they all break]

okay honestly there are always new trans magnus headcanons to be had but i was talking to kinkym and i realised i never said anything about magnus' transition so

okay so like. magnus knew he was trans ever since he was a kid and that was fine mostly. stepfather was a bit of a dick but he was fine. but because of his stepfather and some other ppl being kind of dicky, magnus started considering trying to change his overall appearance and body. also he already kind of had an interest in medicine/chemistry and he prolly studied a lot about plants' and animal parts' natural properties. he didnt go very far with that regarding his transition but it solidified his interest in related things which would help him later.

so once he started learning to get ahold of his magic, both before and after asmodeus, he started using that. Ive said in another ask that i think magic works like both a sense and a limb in sh lore. so he started using it to kind of try and understand the workings of his body better, you know? and with that he slowly learned how to make changes. and then when puberty started to kick in he noticed the changes in his blood and yeah, that's how Magnus figures out hormones on his own (im not gonna say he discovers it cuz like other warlocks probably already know and i would bet good money that other cultures had already figured this out before modern western did - that only happened in the first decade of the 20th century btw - but you know, he figured out magic by himself, so he's self taught on that department). and so he starts making adjustments on his hormone levels so his puberty is different. but that's kind of a pain, specially because theres such a delicate balance and hormones actually have a very complex self-regulating system (I SWEAR IM NOT MAKING COMPLICATED RESEARCH FOR THIS I ALREADY KNEW THAT I JUST WANTED TO PUT A SOURCE BECAUSE I LIKE SHARING INFORMATION) so what the fuck is going on, right? so he uses magic to study these relations between hormones, and figures out how they relate to each other and where they all come from - so then he just goes on and makes some changes in his adrenal glands and voilà, natural testosterone production + basically a degree in endocrynology at this point. that is why he has a flat chest, is tall and etc; he basically took self made puberty blockers and T because hes a small baby genius who loves science and has a deep liking for chemistry and relationship with nature and ugh im so emo about little scientist magnus

once he joins the warlock community he shares his findings with other warlocks and he is delighted to learn all they know about every subject as well - that's when he falls in love with physichs and starts his portals project, but thats another topic i have way too many headcanons about so lets leave it at that. for a while hes just deep into studyings of science and magic and how he can use them together - wait i said i would move on. fuck. shit. i fucked up. fuck

and like again warlocks are super cool about him being trans, again warlocks dont care about gender and know its all fake anyway, so do seelies - also considering seelies have an even deeper relationship with nature and magic he could also learn so much with them, fuck - vampires are kind of whatever, depends on when they were born really, so his environment is pretty chill when it comes to that. also, hes enby, plus for many years men wearing makeup and "feminine" clothing was perfectly normal and it kind of balanced out his super masc body because he wanted a little more of a mix. but mundanes were shit, so in his mundane life he had to hide most of the time. but look, trans ppl have always existed, and there was something of a queer scene ever since, well, queer expression started being repressed lmao. so what im trying to say is that he met other mundane trans kids and being the sweetheart serial adopter that he is, he not only took them under his wing and tried to protect and help them (with whatever; safe binding, finding a job, struggling with having to hide, the whole shebang, he had enough experience to have useful insight on pretty much any topic) when he met someone who was dysphoric or wanted particular changes in their body he just. secretly did it. like he would "feel" their organism's workings with his magic and just casually adjust some stuff and suddenly they were growing T/Estrogen and becoming more androgynous and wow, what gives? theres kind of a rumor that gets spread that this one bar has magical transitioning properties and it kind of becomes a hot spot for trans youth after that. and that's super cool, so they make the most of it and slowly a trans community starts growing there, with ppl helping each other ge away from abusive environments and housing and protecting other ppl from violence and shit like that. and it's just. an amazing thing that Magnus kind of started and got to be an active part of building and making. ugh im so emo.

and as the 20th century nears those just keep spreading, and magnus is so happy to see that these mundane kids now have something similar to what he has in the warlock/seelie community - a place where it doesnt matter and theres active solidarity and support. Ive already said that i think magnus was at stonewall helping protect the rioters about a million times so i will refrain from saying it again but i will say i headcanon that Magnus was good friends with Sylvia Rivera - an amazing, bisexual latina trans woman who fought to end prison and for queer liberation. ggghhhhhhhggghhh and okay that's what i have so far because every time someones like "hey do you have any thoughts about [subject i have a lot of thoughts about]" i immediately forget all my thoughts but, uh, hmu with more trans magnus questions lmao i live for that shit

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

Lunacy Fringe (Chapter 8)

I’m super sick at the minute guys so bear with me. It’s my birthday on Sunday too so it's typical I’m this sick. Hopefully, I’ll be better by then loool

___________________

Daryl had seen many versions of Carol in his time of being friends with her. From her being a beaten wife, a strong survivor, even to the woman who acted like a perfect housewife in Alexandria. But never in his time as her best friend had he seen her this angry with him. A deep scowl on her face as her arms crossed her chest. He’d gone to see her and told her every painful detail that transpired with Zoey, and to say she was pissed would be an understatement.

Daryl slumped into the armchair, wishing it would just gobble him up so he didn't have to deal with the mess that had become his life. He wondered what Zoey was doing since she left the house. He had left not long after to see Carol. Was she back at the house? Wandering around the community? What if she had left Alexandria all together just to get away from him? The thought made him tense and frown, his breathing picking up, and as if she could read his mind, Carol spoke.

“Relax, she’s with Rick and Judith,” she stated blandly, still mad at him. She had seen the girl storming passed, clearly upset, and she wondered what had gone on. Rick was sat on the porch with Judith and when he saw her. He was concerned and took her inside. She knew Zoey was yet to properly meet Judith and wondered if Rick thought the small bundle of joy would make her feel better.

Daryl visibly relaxed and wiped a hand over his face with a weary sigh.

“The fuck do I do Carol?” he asked exasperatedly. He sounded so lost, pained, and Carol's anger faded just a little as she sat in front of him.

“You need to fix it,” she said firmly, making him roll his eyes at her and shake his head.

“I know that much, but how? How do I fix this fuckin’ mess?” he sighed, resting his head in his hands.

“Look Daryl, you know now, she cares about you. She told you to your face. I knew it all along, Rick knew, but you didn't want to believe it. But now you don't have a choice. You shouldn't have acted the way you did, you know that and so does she,” Daryl huffed, feeling like she was stating the obvious, he just wanted her to tell him outright how to fucking fix the damage he’d caused.

“You should tell her how you feel. Right now she doesn't even know why you acted that way with her, she just thinks you're an asshole. Maybe if she knows that you care about her, she might understand a little better,” she suggested carefully. Daryl chewed his thumb as his leg bounced uncontrollably. The thought of telling her, admitting what he’d been trying to push down scared the shit out of him. He knew she liked him back now, that much was clear, but he still couldn't ease the nerves that crept up on him every time he thought about telling her.

“I don’t know how to just tell ‘er. Every time I think about it I end up gettin’ mad,” he admitted gruffly, frowning to himself.

“You get mad because you don't understand it, its new to you. When you feel it happening, you need to take a deep breath and just think about what you're about to say,”

“That's the problem! I can’t think around ‘er. It’s like when I’m with ‘er my mind just quits on me, and words just fuckin’ tumble right out. I knew before, I knew I needed to stop, but my brain went to shit and I couldn't stop,” he huffed angrily, annoyed at himself and his inability to be a normal fucking human being.

“Maybe you should make her dinner or something, make a night out of it, get her to forgive you. It’ll be kind of like a date,” Carol smirked a little. Daryl tensed, bristling slightly. Was this what would be expected of him if she forgave him? Romantic dinners and shit? He wouldn't even know how to do that if it hit him in the face. Carol saw his face and snorted a little, shaking her head.

“Come on Daryl, it’s dinner, not proposing at the Eiffel tower,” she chuckled at him looking so uncomfortable. He shot her a playful glare and huffed a little.

“Ain’t funny, ass, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’ here,” he grumbled, feeling the tips of his ears turning pink. Carol bit her lip to stop herself from laughing further, she didn't want to embarrass the poor man.

“I’ll get you some stuff to make spaghetti and the recipe, it's simple and easy. Sit down with her, just be honest about how you feel, why you acted that way. She’ll either forgive you and you can figure out where to go from there, or she’ll need more time. Honestly though, I think she’ll forgive you. She cares about you, and once she understands why you acted the way you did, it’ll make her feel better,” she smiled warmly at him.

“Fuckin’ hope so,” he sighed, sounding miserable. The thought of her not forgiving him was one he couldn't handle. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't want him around at all. Carol gave his leg a quick pat before getting up, to get the food. Before she went into the kitchen she turned around to look at him.

“Oh and Daryl, next time you shout at her like that, you’ll have me to deal with,” she smiled sweetly, despite her words, and Daryl snorted a little.

Everything was set, the food was about to be plated up and he’d set the table. There were two glasses of wine ready for them. He hadn't seen her since the fight and the thought filled him with dread. What if she decided she didn’t want to live with him anymore? They weren't even in a relationship but he couldn't imagine living in a house without her. He used to relish in the quiet of living on his own. He worried if she would forgive him or not, and honestly, he wouldn't blame her if she didn't. Even if he felt like there was a reason behind how he behaved, no reason would be good enough to fucking yell in her face like that. He was nervous as shit, his hands were actually trembling slightly and he wondered when he became such a pussy.

He started plating up, anxious for her to return, Carol said she was going to get her to come home but he wasn't sure if she would. Home. Her home was with him, her words pinged around his skull which just made him worry more. He couldn't ever imagine she would feel that way about him, hell, he didn’t fucking understand it one bit, but if she forgave him he certainly wouldn't fucking question his luck.

He heard the door open and he held his breath. He couldn't look, to see if it was even her or just Carol to tell him the bad news that she was done with him and didn't want to see his ugly face ever again. He focused on plating the food, and when he turned to set the plates on the table, it felt like his heart stopped when he saw her stood there looking at him confused.

Zoey had calmed a little since spending time with Judith. The little girl made her smile, and it was nice to see something so bright and pure left in the tainted world. When Carol came to get her, she felt suspicious. She knew she was best friends with Daryl, she had a feeling they'd spoke about what happened, but much to her surprise Carol never mentioned it. Just simply saying it was getting dark and she’d walk her home and making small talk on the way back. When she stepped inside she was taken aback by the smell of food and seeing Daryl in the kitchen cooking. He hadn't cooked a thing since she knew him and she wasn't sure what was happening. Part of her wondered if he was expecting company, there was no way he was cooking for her after everything that happened. Not only was she upset by the things he said, confused by why he seemed so mad at her for getting better. She felt so fucking embarrassed that she blurted out her feelings towards the man. She didn't think she'd ever be able to look at him in the eyes again. He was ridiculously handsome, and he didn't even seem to know it, but she didn't think he’d ever see her as pretty with her body marked the way it was.

When Daryl looked at her, he noticed she didn't look angry anymore which relieved him, but what hurt him was how sad she looked. She wouldn't even meet his gaze or talk to him.

“I uh...Made us some food. Spaghetti. Prolly taste like shit, but…” he nibbled his thumb nervously, glancing at her through his hair and then the floor. She furrowed her brow a little, taking in the table with food and wine, before she finally met his gaze.

“Why?” she asked, her voice sounding a little harsh, suspicious even. He inhaled deeply trying to gather himself. He remembered what Carol said about thinking through his words before just lashing out when he couldn't make sense of anything.

“Just...Sit down first alright?” he pleaded, looking like he was a hundred percent sure she would say no. She chewed her lower lip a little before moving to sit down. She played with her food a little, still not meeting his eyes. He sighed before he sat down, eyes darting everywhere but her as his brain tried to focus.

“I know it ain’t enough, but m’sorry for how I was before. Shouldn't have ever shouted at ya like that, got in ya face,” he frowned, glaring at his plate. She looked up at him, trying to see if he meant in and she knew instantly he did just by his face. When he felt eyes on him, he looked up, relief flooding through him to see her finally looking at him.

“So why did you?” she asked sadly, her gaze felt like it was penetrating to his very soul and he fidgeted in his seat, fighting the urge to run and jump out of the window to get away from its intensity.

“Look...I ain't good at this shit, ain’t ever had to be before. And there ain’t a good excuse for doin’ it, was an asshole. But...I got mad ‘cause, I don't know how to deal with shit alright? And when I get confused, I just get mad... I said before that it hurts...to know ya ain’t need me no more, but I never got the chance to say why,” his voice was low, his eyes staring at the plate in front of him. His hair hiding his face like he was trying to protect himself. Zoey stayed silent and listened intently, wondering if she would finally get an explanation for his outburst.

“I uh...Fuck...I-I fuckin’ care about ya...a lot...more than just a friend. And...I ain't ever think ya'd feel the same, and I was worried...If ya didn't need me then why would ya keep me around...And it was just like...I could feel ya just....fuckin’ slippin’ away from me, and I lost my shit. I shouldn't have, I know I shouldn't have. And m’sorry. Ya can't hate me more than I hate maself for actin’ that way towards ya...And then...then ya fuckin’ said ya cared about me and...it fuckin’ floored me ‘cause I ain’t ever had someone give a shit about me that way ‘fore. And I never thought ya'd think about me that way,” he rambled with a frown, his heart contracting with each word, making him vulnerable and bare for her to see. He wasn't used to being so open with someone about anything like this.

Zoey's cheeks burned brightly. Did he say he cared about her? Like how she cared about him? She felt butterflies in her stomach at the revelation and honestly, it did make his outburst make sense a little. The words he’d said to her.

“I don’t hate you,” she whispered, toying with her hands as she blushed brighter than a fucking tomato. Daryl looked up at her words as he felt like the weight in his chest had been removed, only to see her cheeks flushed. It made him follow suit, the tips of his ears turning pink. Their eyes met, and she smiled shyly at him. It felt like his heart was beating so hard that it was about to burst through his chest.

“Wouldn't blame ya if ya did,” he sighed softly, wiping a hand over his face before grabbing the glass of wine and taking a huge gulp of it. The food still untouched but not important.

“I could never hate you Daryl, I told you, I care about you. You really hurt me, but I’m glad you spoke to me about it. I wish you'd just done that in the first place instead of all of this.” she admitted, nibbling her lower lip as she watched him. He nodded slowly, leaning back in his seat as he looked at her beautiful face.

“I know, I just...Don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’ here. Ain’t ever done this before. I just got mad, I was upset and I got jealous,” he looked down at the wine glass in his hands.

“I wanted to ask you to train me, you were the first person I thought of...But I feel like I ask way too much of you. You help me with so much Daryl, I didn't want to keep asking you for things. I thought it would make your life easier. Everything I've done, getting better, that's the reason why. I pushed myself for you so you didn't have to look after me like that anymore,” she said firmly, resting her chin on her hand. She was glad they were talking openly about this. It felt better.

She was still nervous, like a schoolgirl with a crush and finding out he liked her back. It was almost laughable, the two grown-ups acting this way. He glanced at her, feeling guilty for everything. Now he knew so clearly that what he thought was her pushing him away, was in fact her trying to do something for him.

“Like lookin’ after ya,” he admitted, blushing slightly as he looked at her through his hair. She couldn't suppress the smile that worked its way onto her lips, blushing furiously as she looked down. He felt that weird feeling again, the pride at making a girl like her blush like that.

He’d seen girls act like this with Merle when he was ‘seducing’ them at bars, he never understood the attraction women had to his brother. But now she was looking like that for him. He felt like he was on another planet. He huffed a little laugh at how shy they were being with each other, despite the fact the air was cleared and they both knew exactly where the other stood.

“So uh...what now?” he asked, at a total loss on what would happen next because he'd never done this before.

“What do you want to happen?” her pointed question caught him off guard. He didn't expect to be asked his opinion on the matter. What did he want? He wanted her to be his girl, to grab her and kiss that sweet as sin mouth. But the nerves in his system wouldn't allow him to vocalise that shit. She noticed him shift a little in his seat and blush again, not able to meet her eyes. She remembered how he said he'd never done this before, she found it hard to believe that someone as beautiful as him wouldn't have ever had a girlfriend, but the way he was acting was making it clear he hadn't. She decided to make it easier for him, she’d need to take the reigns with this one.

“We can just see what happens. We now know how we feel, we don't have to rush into anything. Just let it happen naturally,” she suggested, sounding much more confident than she felt.

She was nervous, it had been a while since she'd been in anything like a relationship and she wasn't even sure this could be called a relationship at this stage. But if she had to take control to help him, to guide him, then she had to sound like she was confident in her words. He finally met her eyes again, a small smile on his lips as he nodded relieved. He liked the sound of that. No pressure, just let it happen. He was glad she knew what the fuck she was doing because he certainly didn’t. Zoey looked at his hand on the dining table and nibbled her lip, trying to summon some confidence lest they'd never actually do anything about the situation. She lay her hand on top of his and his eyes snapped to hers, giving her a small smile. He was grateful she’d made the move because he'd been wanting to do it himself.

It was weird, it wasn't like they'd never held hands before. He’d held her hand the day he met her when he went into her room, when he knew already that the girl was special and felt such a strong pull towards her. But this was different, now they knew how they felt about each other, there was a shift in their dynamic and it felt like more now, more than just holding hands. His hand curled around hers and she beamed a smile at him, her cheeks tinged pink. Daryl thought she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid his fucking eyes on. He knew he was doing it again, looking at her like he was in awe of her.

“So I guess we should actually eat then huh?” she asked wryly with a grin making Daryl snort at her.

“Ain’t gotta, prolly tastes like ass,” he smirked, making her laugh. Warmth spread through his chest at the sound and he smiled at her. It felt oddly normal with her, the awkwardness seemed to fade a little as they started to eat and just talk. Yeah, this was nice, holding hands and having dinner with the prettiest girl in the world. He could handle this.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag @keeperofwonderlandus @jodiereedus22 @easnuppa @fand0m-fiend @txladyj-blog @walkingdead-dixon @of-storms-and-sadness

[artnerd1123]

A Familiar World

Sleepy, Not Tired ——————————————-

When Roo decides to spend the entire day holed up in Seraph’s room, it’s more than a little worrying for his other roommates. Especially for the one he calls his beloved... 

The masterpost for AFW can be found here. The chapter post for AFW can be found here.

——————————————-

a self indulgent chapter in which Seraph takes the role as comforter for a certain struggling paint cat. plenty of family fluff is included, and a sweet ending is guaranteed~ hope y’all enjoy!!!

                                                           -----------

The apartment had been oddly quiet that day. Journal was out at work until the evening. Ruffy, as always, had gone out with him. Seraph had busied herself with giving the apartment a good cleaning. And Roo… … well… he’d been sleeping. At least, that’s what Seraph thought. She knew how he got sometimes. And she figured he just needed time to himself today. He’d usually come out of whatever room he’d holed up in for food, and she figured she’d see him then. She’d even baked some biscuits earlier so she’d be ready to help cheer him up. However, it was getting late in the afternoon, and she hadn’t heard so much as a creak from the floorboards. Every time she passed the door to her room, which seemed to be his chosen hiding spot, it remained firmly closed. It was… a little worrying.

Seraph stood before the door now, brows furrowed. She’d known Roo to have his bad days, but he’d never stayed in bed this long. What is he doing in there? She wrung her hands worriedly. I better check on him. Just to make sure he’s ok.  Hesitantly, she raised a hoof to knock. The sound was dull and hollow, slowly diffusing into the quiet of the apartment around her. Almost a dead sound. The familiar tried not to shudder. She waited, then. Listened closely. There wasn’t any answering squeak of old boards. No shuffling of blankets. Not even a confused ‘mrrp?’ of the room’s only occupant. The amount of hush that lay over everything was… unnatural. It made her golden heart feel cold. Seraph gulped quietly. If knocking didn’t work, she’d poke her head in. Surely nothing was wrong. She was just unused to this much silence. Reaching for the doorknob, she took it, feeling the cold metal against her smooth palms. It turned easily. When she pushed on the door, the resulting creak of old hinges made her jump, wings flaring a bit behind her. The light from the hall sliced cautiously through the velvety dark of the room. The only thing it lit up was a section of floorboards and one of her bedposts. Someone had put out all her candles. Seraph almost felt she had to hold her breath as she peeked into the room. The golden ring above her head glowed softly in the dark. Its muffled yellow light caressed familiar things hiding in the blackness. Her bed was still made from the morning. Her bedside table still had one drawer partly open from when she’d left it and rushed to go make breakfast. A couple ribbons were still laid out on top of it from when she’d considered putting up her hair. Her pajamas still needed folded; lying on the floor instead of in their rightful spot in front of her pillow. And the little box Roo slept in was still at the foot of her bed… … and full. It also hadn’t changed since she’d gotten up. A silent lump sat in its center, blankets padded over and around it. As she watched, she picked up the even rise and fall of breath. As she listened, she could pick up the muted sounds of catlike snores. The sound released one of her own breaths. She hadn’t realized her breathing had stopped as she’d gazed around the room. Roo was still there. He was breathing. And… still sleeping, from the sound of it. “Roo…?” she called softly. Her eyes stayed trained on the quiet lump. The soft snores didn’t cease. She sighed. He really was asleep, then. He must’ve been really tuckered out from last night. Though... she couldn’t recall them doing anything. The feeling of something not right was trickling back into Seraph’s mind. But what was she to do? She didn’t want to wake Roo up. He wasn’t known to handle unwilling wake-ups very well. Especially nowadays. She backed up slowly, closing the door as quietly as she could. It felt like she’d just shut it on something precious. He hasn’t eaten today, her thoughts urged. Even if he is tired, you need to do something before the day is up. A quick glance at the window down the hall told her that dinnertime would be coming soon. Journal and Ruffy would likely be home in time to eat. The quiet of the apartment would meet an end. And so will Roo’s solitude, she thought decisively. No matter what he was feeling that day, she wasn’t about to let him suffer in silence.

---------

The evening’s atmosphere was much lighter than the day’s heavy silence. With Journal and Ruffy back in the apartment for dinner, it was feeling much closer to ‘home.’ Even the food brought out the best in the place. The kitchen always seemed to capture just the right scents to make one’s mouth water, and the walls bounced laughter around joyously. Seraph tried to hide a smile with her napkin as Journal recounted that day’s library shenaniganry. “Oh man, and that’s not even considering the guy that came through after the nutjob who took our whole murder mystery section,” Journal snorted, smirking over at Ruffy. The spider snickered in agreement, clapping one set of hands. He quickly scribbled down a response on a notepad, waving it for them both to see. ‘He was raving about some sort of “secret” chocolate eclair recipe, and claiming we were keeping it from him!’ “Just about drove us all crazy before we managed to kick him out… Yeesh..” Journal took a bite out of his spaghetti, washing it down with some coffee. He gestured to Seraph as he finished swallowing. “You prolly coulda talked him down better than we did.” “Oh, I’m sure you all managed just fine,” Seraph chuckled, leaning forward on the table. “You always have the strangest people in the library. It sounds like such a fun place to be.” ‘It is,’ Ruffy waved his notepad again, nodding. The previous page was already halfway in his mouth. There were some perks to using a notepad to talk while being made of ink and paper. ‘But only so long as there’s people in the library to do strange things.’ “He’s right, y’know.” Journal sighed softly. Leaning back in his chair, he glanced towards the empty seat at his left. Ruffy and Seraph’s gaze followed his. The plate in front of it had a serving of spaghetti on it, but all it had done so far was grow cold. The usual occupant hadn’t shown up. The cheerful attitude seemed to fade slightly. “... how’ve things been around here?” Journal asked quietly. Seraph could tell the chair’s emptiness worried him as much as it did her. From the sound of Ruffy’s clicking, it was concerning to all of them. She shifted nervously in her seat. “It’s been… quiet,” she said hesitantly. Her eyes flicked towards the kitchen entrance. Towards the hallway. Towards the room Roo slept in. Her voice lowered as she spoke again. “He hasn’t come out of bed at all today. I’ve been hoping he’d come out for dinner, but…” She shared a look with the two boys. They knew what she meant without words. Silently, they all stood up from their places. “I’m going to go wake him up,” Seraph declared. “I’ll set up the living room,” Journal returned. ‘I’ll pick a book,’ Ruffy chimed in. As they all dispersed, Seraph felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back to see Journal’s worried face. “If you need any help getting him, just come back to the living room, ok?” he said softly. His quiet concerned gaze searched her face pleadingly. “I know you’re planning on doing this anyways, but… be gentle with him. Please.” Seraph nodded firmly. “He’ll be alright,” she reassured him. “I’ll make sure of it.” The two boys busied themselves in the living room as Seraph headed down the hall. The lights might’ve been on in the more communal rooms of the apartment, but the hallway was unlit. The only real light was the dim rays coming from the already brightened rooms. They cast her shadow ahead of her when she walked down towards her room. Taking a breath, she paused in front of the door. It was still closed. Still quiet. Still making that feeling of wrongness tickle at the back of her mind. The door swung open with another forlorn creak, but Seraph didn’t jump this time. She let it swing all the way open. Feeble light spilled into the room. It illuminated everything just the same. Her bed, her bedside table, her pajamas, Roo’s bed, the blankets that filled it… … and a pair of dully glowing eyes peeking out from under them. In all honesty, she hadn’t expected to find Roo awake. His eyes met her surprised gaze almost unseeingly. Everything about those eyes was faint. The exhaustion in such a small gaze was heartrending. She couldn’t stop her hoof from trailing up to her mouth. From the way he was blankly looking at her, she could tell he was waiting for her to leave.  Well… that’s not about to happen. She was there to take care of him. There was no way she was leaving that room without him in her arms. But first, she needed to make sure he would come willingly.  Seraph stepped into the room. Roo’s gaze didn’t move off of her. Nothing about him moved aside from his eyes and the even rise and fall of his sides. Wringing her hooves, she softly cleared her throat.  “... roo…?” she called quietly, “are you ok…?’ The question hung in the air for a few moments. Silence stretched between them; a muffling fog one is hesitant to clear. The muted glimmer of Roo’s eyes disappeared as he shut them. He took a shaky breath. When the feline spoke, his voice was so hushed, Seraph had to lean forward to hear it. “... ‘m tired, Seraph... ‘m jus… tired.” The way he said the simple statement was painful to hear. She’d figured that much. But there was a little more to it than simple bodily exhaustion. That was as clear as day. “... physically, or otherwise…?” she whispered. She figured a quiet tone would be better for him. Not to mention she was almost nervous to push him for fear of the paint cat just shutting down. He’d done that lately, too. The lump of blankets seemed to nod to her inquiry. Then pause. Then, trembling now, simply shrug. Little slits of light stared down at the ground. A watery pattern obscured the corners of the muted rays. Seraph winced slightly. Roo really wasn’t holding up well. He didn’t need to be alone in that little box of his anymore. Softly padding across the room, she knelt at the side of his bed. Those listless slits moved up onto her face. Tears had gathered at the corners of Roo’s eyes. He tried, sniffling, to wipe them away, his paws clumsy and frustrated. Seraph carefully reached out to stop him. When he looked up at her, she simply shook her head. “You’re allowed to cry, you know. There’s no shame in it.” He stared at her for a moment. Sniffled. Bit his lip. It was only when those tears started to drip down his cheeks that he moved to put his arms around her. She drew him in immediately, holding him close as he started to cry. She curled her wings around him like a blanket, trying to comfort him as much as she could. “It’s alright, Roo… ‘s ok… just let it out… there we are…” She sighed, giving him a light kiss on the top of his head. His little body shook as she mumbled reassurances into his bubbly fur. Despite being told he could cry, that it was ok, he still seemed to be holding back. Maybe he was close to shifting. A quick glance, though, told her otherwise. Roo had his eyes squeezed shut, brows furrowed, his teeth almost digging into his lip… It all gave off a vibe of exhausted helplessness. He was too tired to be doing any form changing. As she watched, he took a couple shuddering breaths. “... I-I’m jus… ‘m so t-tired of b-bein t-tired…” he admitted softly. “‘M t-tired of f-feelin this way… of… of j-jus not s-stayin happy... “ His breath caught in his throat. Coughing, he curled up a bit, snuggling weakly closer to Seraph. She could feel him shivering again. “... ‘m so tired, s-ser bear… ‘m sorry…” … She knew how he felt. She knew it too well. The dull ache… the colorless void that takes things in, but leaves you with nothing… feeling nothing… it was horrible. He didn’t deserve that sort of exhaustion. It wasn’t something one could cure instantly, though. She knew that too. It would take some gentle leading. That was something she could manage. Looking down at Roo, she tried to catch his eyes. He seemed determined to keep his gaze down, or at least away from hers. She settled for gently stroking his back. The regular rhythm and closeness would help, at least. “... I’m sorry to hear that you’re tired, honey bun…” she murmured quietly. “And I’m sorry it’s been going on for so long. This sort of thing is never easy.” Roo trembled. Nodded in agreement. “... ‘s not…” he sniffled. “‘S really n-not…” “But, y’know what, sweet pea…?” Seraph gave him another kiss on the forehead, gently tilting his head up. Roo’s eyes stayed firmly fixed on the floor. “I’ve got something important to tell you. To pass on to you.” She took a breath. “A wise, smart, and kind familiar once told me it’s much harder to heal if you don’t let people in.” Roo’s eyes flicked up. Mild surprise flashed across his gaze. He’d recognized those words. Gently, she pressed on. “They told me that isolating yourself and your pain from others only makes it worse. Holding it in where nobody can see it… but where it can wreak havoc on all that’s inside your mind… that isn’t good for you.” Seraph held Roo’s gaze for a minute. She could see him mulling over her words. Almost timidly, he dropped his gaze back to the floor. She sighed softly. The familiar opened her mouth to speak again, but the feline in her arms beat her to it. “S… some hypocrite I am…” Roo mumbled. A ragged, choked sound issued from his mouth. Seraph guessed it was probably supposed to be a laugh. “I c-can’t even follow m-my own advice…” “Oh- Roo… that’s not what I meant… even the best of us can stumble,” Seraph noted. “You’re no exception. Advice is much easier to give than to take. Especially in times like this.” “B… but… I… all I’ve w-wanted to do is just sleep… n-not even go see anyone…” He sniffled, weakly pawing away a few tears. “I don’ w-want to t-tell everyone ‘bout th-the same sad s-song ‘n dance all o-over again…” “Everyone in this apartment knows how that feels,” Seraph said ruefully. She put her hooves on Roo’s shoulders, making sure he was looking at her. “You’re not alone here, Roo. We all know how it is. We want to help you. It’s why I’m here now. For you. Because you deserve to be held close when you’re sad, not to curl up alone in a dark room full of silence.” Roo sniffed again. Droplets of watery paint still dripped down his face, but there were less of them now. Reaching his paws up, he pulled himself back into Seraph’s embrace. He buried his face into her chest, trembling slightly. “... then… i wanna s-stay wrapped in your arms… please…” Seraph smiled. Putting her arms around him, she set her head on top of his. “You won’t have to move from them until you want to,” she whispered. “Not one inch.” “... thank you…” “No problem, honey bun… I love you…”

---------

Coming back down the hall, Seraph and Roo entered a warmly lit living room. The sky outside was dark, but the lamps around the room shone with their comforting amber light. A spot on the floor, right in front of the couch, had been transformed into a blanket nest. One big pillow lay outside of it. A book rested on top of the cushion; some sort of well-loved fairy tale novel. The two occupants of the room looked up as the familiar couple walked in. Ruffy chittered in greeting from his spot inside the blanket nest. He’d already made himself comfortable. Journal, who had been pacing around, stopped in his tracks. He gave the two a relieved smile. It seemed both of them were happy to see their roommates. Seraph smiled back at them, Roo offering a tiny wave. “Well, look who we have here,” Journal chuckled softly. ‘Looks like a couple of lovebirds~’ Ruffy joked. “Hmm… i’d say you may be right…” Seraph teased, looking to Roo with laughter dancing across her face. He returned a small, tired smile. She took that as her cue to settle in over at the blanket nest. No time for snuggles like the present. As she passed Journal, he gave her a questioning look. Is he alright? He begged wordlessly. Is he going to be ok? Shifting Roo in her arms, she gave Journal an almost imperceptible nod. This seemed to steady the sorcerer. Good. Nobody needed to worry anymore tonight. Snuggling into the mass of blankets with Roo proved to be plenty cozy, anyways. She gave him a gentle nuzzle. Ruffy reached over from his comfy blanket den to ruffle roo’s fur. Roo, curled up next to seraph, purred softly at the nuzzle and caress. The sound made her feel warm. The three familiars looked up at their storyteller once they were all tucked in. Journal had settled himself on the pillow in front of the nest, facing towards the group. The book of fairy tales sat open on his lap. He raised a brow at the three of them, a mischievous smile on his face. “Aaaalright… now… who’s ready for a story?~” he grinned. Seraph and Ruffy’s hands shot up immediately, both eager for a whimsical tale. Journal’s smile widened as Roo’s paw slowly rose to join them. “Well, I’d best get this show on the road, eh?” As Journal cleared his throat, the small family snuggled closer, settling in for storytime.

---------

The warmth of the blankets… the closeness of the four… the silly voices and hand motions that wove through the air… the familiarity and excitement the story brought… the softness of Seraph’s touch and comforting smiles… … it all made Roo feel safe. It lulled even the most deeply biting of his thoughts into submission. As his eyes drifted shut, the contentment he felt rolled out of him in a quiet purr.

The little cat was sleepy, now. He wasn’t tired anymore. That bleak, oppressive sensation of being bogged down by his own mind was gone. A quiet, comforting impression of sleepiness had replaced it. The feeling of being layered in muffling warmth, held somewhere safe, and though you were on the edge of awareness, it was alright to just drift off into dreamland. He was sleepy, not tired. It was a much safer feeling to drift off with.

[lore-a-lie]

Chapter 2: I Spit on Your Grave Expectations

Daily Life

Kaede wasn’t sure what to expect after that argument, but when she got to the dining hall the next day after washing the crust from her face and the redness from her eyes it was clear things had only gotten worse. Kaito was yelling at Angie about something and their group of friends was visibly split in two, the sets standing on opposite sides of the hall, but that wasn’t what concerned her the most. Kibo was.

He was pink now. Every bit of his previous gentle cyan lighting was gone, leaving only the nearly toxic looking magenta glow in its place. Even the glare he gave her was an intense pink rather than his previous desaturated blue, which shook her for reasons she couldn’t explain beyond feeling “wrong”.

And as around his neck, catching the light despite the shadows there, was Miu’s layered necklace he salvaged the night before, clean and repaired, she didn’t need to wonder why he did. That was a fair enough warning for what this was about.

Kaede wasn’t a good enough leader for them so Angie wanted to take over her responsibilities.

And had Miu not asked this of me I might have been fine with going along with that. But she did, as our friend, so I can’t give up quite yet. Right? Or did Miu just make another mistake putting her faith in me?

The way the room was divided the two new “groups” was pretty clear. Those in support of Angie’s new leadership were Kibo, Tenko, Tsumugi, Kirumi, and Gonta. Her friends that wanted to keep supporting Kaede’s own attempts to protect them were Kokichi, Kiyo, and Kaito’s trio of him, Ryoma, and Maki. (Little wonder this would happen the day I was the last to arrive huh? Not that I’d blame anyone here.)

“Kaito, please calm down! Let’s just try to talk about this okay? “This” is about how I’ve been leading everyone so far right? Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Atua doesn’t believe you’ve been doing a good job at keeping everyone safe. You are good at bringing us together, but only in ways that have better enabled us to turn on each other. He doesn’t feel only Monokuma’s motives are at fault for that, as you haven’t tried limiting the means for our betrayals. And so He told me Angie should be the one to lead us now, and to make rules to help protect everyone here! We can’t keep hoping for your dangerous dream of going back outside Kaede, we’ve lost enough of us.”

“And that’s why I’m calling bullshit! How long do you honestly think we could stay here?! Have you seen where our food’s been coming from? Any medical facilities, or even a goddamn nurse’s office?! We can’t trust anything here to keep us alive in the long term you idiot!” Kaito was still furious, for good reason.

He should know more about the dangers of being stuck somewhere without any means of protecting or repairing the resources everyone will be relying on than anyone else here, given his talent and experience. And yet Angie and her supporters kept completely ignoring his warnings and concerns.

“But Atua says it’s safe here, and it’s not like we have any better options. Without a safer alternative it’s plain to see this is the best course of action we can be taking, isn’t it?” (No it isn’t. I need to step in.)

“Tsumugi weren’t you the one to warn me to be wary of cults and con artists? Because it’s sounding like you should be taking your own advice right now you know, you can’t just pretend Kaito’s wrong here.”

“How could she? She and Angie were both Con Artists already aren’t they?” Kokichi mocked, looking for all to see like a cat playing with a canary as both girls glared at him for the pun. (But he’s not really okay with what’s happening here is he? This is too dangerous to allow things to keep going on for long, right?)

“Who are you calling a cult?! We are-” Tenko’s yelling was cut off by a familiar chorus of “Rise and Shine, Ursine”, minus the loudest and deepest voice in their tune. The set of three cubs and their father stood in the middle of the room.

“Hello~ my children! My, my, aren’t you all just chomping at the bit today? At least you’ve got a lot of energy for your exploring later, haven’t you?” The three little cubs kept looking between themselves as their father talked, as if communicating amongst each other while he was distracted talking to the class. “And boy do I have some presents for you~ A wonderful set of rewards for you all surviving so far, won’t that be fun? Come on kids, show them their fantabulous new prizes!”

“No.” The monotone syllable got everyone’s attention, all eyes on the half green bear and his siblings.

“... What? Sorry, must have some stuffing in my belly button, it sounded like you said-”

“Not happening pops. Why should we be listenin’ to ya anymore huh?”

“What do you think you’re playing at kiddo?” Monokuma wasn’t amused by his tiger-striped son’s reply.

“W-we talked about things after the last trial! W-we keep dying and no one cares at all but us! S-so… So we won’t do this anymore! We have the Exisals, so we’ll just do things our way from now on daddy!”

“Though this all bein’ said we prolly should hand out these little doohickies shouldn’t we? But let’s try ta change things up! No more o’ this givin’ you the things and then sit back while you bumbling bastards try to sort their puzzles out business! Each o’ us will keep the keys we got as youse guys figure out where to you’ll need to take us. Will we be helpful? Annoying? Try to lead you astray? Who fuckin’ gives a damn!”

“... This is fine. I mean it’s good you kids are taking some initiative right? This is a good thing for a father to witness, this isn’t a cute lil’ coup d'etat by my Ultimate Lil’ Monokubs or anything, nope not at all.”  

Despite saying that Monokuma was somewhat dazed as he mumbled something about going back home to his cubs who do still like him, sounding somewhat delusional given they’re all here. As he wandered off the pink cub- Monophanie, took out three items to pass out to her remaining brothers. She kept the literal pixelated key for herself, Monosuke was given the ninja scroll, leaving Monodam with the golden hammer. But after doing this the cubs looked at a loss over what they were meant to do next.

“So… Now, what Monosuke? Do we just split up?”

“Uhh… Yeah, sure why not? I don’t wanna to spend any more time with a certain murderer I could mention anyways.” Monosuke gave Monodam a pointed glare at that, but Monophanie’s flailing about trying to deny what he did was more of a response than Monodam’s own stoic stare.

“Then-Let’s-All-Get-Along-With-The-Bastards! Let’s-All-Be-Friends-Now, No-Need-For-Killing-Games!”

“WHAT?! Not a fuckin’ chance, the Killing Game’s the most fun we’ve had! Why should we give it up?”

“I don’t know, making friends could be nice, and no more gross gory bodies to deal with. Let’s give it a try at least, we can always change our minds later right?”

“Fuck that! You two can go play house, or class, or whateva the fuck this shit is but I’m out. If any of yous guys want to use my item I’ll be outside to see if ya can get me ta put it where it needs to go, capisce?” And with that, the bespectacled bear squeakily stormed out the door to the porch as the humans watching things unfold remained speechless. (I mean this is too stupid for words right now isn’t it???)

Angie was the first to break the silence as Monophanie and Monodam kept looking between themselves, their items, and everyone else. “Well we already made ourselves into two groups so this works out well, doesn’t it? Praise be to Atua and his foresight of your own changes of heart!”

“What’s an Atua?” (An excellent question, but not one you should ever ask bear. You’ll see.)

“A term stemming from Polynesian cultures that can mean “power” in a more supernatural sense, like “mana” which is quite different from the apparently common video game concept of the same name. However this typically refers to gods or spirits, in this case specifically for a presumably monotheistic entity that-”

“Atua is Atua silly! He’s all knowing and carefully watches over everyone, like a loving father!” Kiyo did not appreciate being cut off mid-lecture by Angie’s attempt to recruit another member to her cause, but he did at least capture Monodam’s attention.

“Apparently common”? Has he not played any games with it before? That’s weird. I wonder if this means Himiko told him about that before she… When they talked before the show. She knew a lot about that sort of thing, so it might have been what helped her and Angie bond too.

“Angie told Gonta Atua was like Grandma, Atua change?”

“Yup-yup! Atua changes to whatever He feels will help those He cares for best after all!”

“That-Sounds-Rather-Unreliable. And-Convenient-If-You-Are-Making-Him-Up, To-Claim-He-Is-Where Ever-You-Say-He-Is. How-”

“It’s is not the place of mortals to question Him or His divine grace you know?” (And so hails the return of Angie’s scary face, oh joy. If there is a God why do I need to be the one to put up with this right now?)

“No-I-Did-Not. But-Father-Claimed-He-Was-Our-God-Too-And-Look-At-Him-Now. We-Don’t-Need-Yours, Right-Monophanie?”

“Hmm, but Daddy was lying about that wasn’t he? Maybe this “God” is different. Why not give it a try?”

“I-Do-Not-Want-To. It-Doesn’t-Seem-To-Be-Helping-Others-To-Get-Along, Just-Making-Them-Fight.”

“Religion has been known to do both, faith can be quite the terrifying thing when taken to extremes. Particularly those that leave no room for compromise or allow themselves to mix with their neighbors. Among many pantheons, it’s common to find deities that in fact originated somewhere else and became incorporated over time to help pacify and better unite with other cultures.” (Nice trivia Kiyo, but no one cares.)

“Why not you come with us then Monodam, while Monophanie can go with Angie’s? Are you going to tell us where your item belongs? I don’t think I’ve seen anything for it before.”

“I-Don’t-Think-”

“I like that plan! Let’s go!”

Monophanie was quick to leave with Angie’s cult, which upset the remaining bear. If his goal was staying as a group he was proving pretty bad at it with how eager his siblings were to avoid him, given his involvement with Monokid’s death and their own personalities. But seeing Kaede’s expectant face he lit back up again, seeing them as other people he could try to “get along with” instead of his siblings.

“That’s-Because-You-Haven’t-Yet! It-Is-Up-Stairs-With-The-New-Labs, I-Will-Show-You!”

Alas, he forgot the stairs he was thinking of were still locked behind the supposed mural of the pixelated door that required Monophanie’s key to open, so Kaede had to hurry after Angie to see about that first.

After some negotiations between the two it was agreed that since the Magic Key had the most obvious use and Monodam’s item would be used in the area it unlocked Angie’s group would be headed outside to solve Monosuke’s Ninja Scroll puzzle instead.

Monophanie was rather relieved this would mean she wouldn’t need to go to the fourth floor yet and instead would get her more time alone with Monosuke, which in hindsight should have been a warning.

Following Monodam soon proved to be a mistake. Not an avoidable one, and not one that was his fault in particular, but it felt like a mistake nonetheless. The fourth floor lived up to the creepier associations with a number a bit too well in Kaede’s opinion. And that’s only speaking from the top of the stairs, they hadn’t even been to any rooms yet. (AND I DON’T WANT TO. AT ALL. WHY IS IT SO SPOOKY?! ... Kiyo’s lab is here isn’t it? It’s gotta be here with this atmosphere and everything, it suits him way too well. Welp.)

Kiyo apparently assumed the same thing as he gravitated to a set of traditional shoji style doors, unlike all the others in the school. Kokichi quickly followed after him while Kaito stayed where he was, sweating and trying not to look at anything around him.

Ryoma was rather amused by this as he tried leading his friend down the halls but given the scream that could not have been from Maki and Kaito dashing back and practically flying back down the stairs that was clearly a lost cause. It didn’t stop an annoyed Maki from following after him to literally drag him back by the arm though, as if in payback for all the times he practically did the same thing for her.

“C’mon Maki Roll, we don’t need this many people here right?! I can go see about the Ninja Scroll or something-” Kaito tried to argue, but she was still having none of his excuses.

“Not a chance. I thought a “manly” guy like you is supposed to be brave, aren’t you?”

“W-well… I mean… T-that’s why it’s good for you and Ryoma to do this alone! It’s-”

“Better for you to face your cowardice here then. You are the only one with a problem, idiot.” Maki challenged with an air of finality that seemed to shut Kaito up for the most part. Minus some nervous keening noises Kaede could hear as he was being pulled away.

Kaede chose not to draw attention to herself and how she proved he really wasn’t the "only one with a problem" and instead made her way with Monodam down the hall to a set of three doors.

She opened the first to see what was in it, only to let out a shriek of her own and slam it shut again upon seeing what she would swear was a familiar looking bear-shaped ghost floating inside. As Monodam grabbed her hand and made a dash back to the anthropology lab she wasn't the only one.

Had she not been so frazzled by everything Kaede probably would have found the confused looks on Kokichi and Kiyo’s faces hilarious, at least before Kokichi started to laugh at her own expression instead.

“... Might I inquire to what exactly that was about? If you’ll pardon my use of the phrase, you look like you’ve seen a gho-” Kiyo tried to ask, choosing to have marginally more tact than the local liar. If only his choice of words had been better.

“Don’t. Say it. Something was in one of those side rooms, honest!” Kaede tried to explain as convincingly as she could, but with everything going on and only the furiously nodding Monodam in her defense that wasn't saying much.

“Indeed, It-Was-Monotaro! But-Different-Than-He-Used-To-Be!”

“ Please tell me- you’re trying to say- you think you say some ghost- of a robotic teddy bear , Kaede. Because this is fucking priceless, you should see your face right now!” Kokichi was barely able to pause his laughter enough to speak, despite the scolding side look Kiyo was giving him for his teasing. (Don’t you fucking pretend I don’t see you smirking under that mask Kiyo! You’re enjoying this too aren’t you?!)

“S-shut up! You can go look for yourself then if you don’t believe me.”

“And leave you and Kiyo in his spooooky lab alone together? Ooookie-dokie! You two have fun~” (... Well fuck. Why couldn’t it be a normal museum? I can handle those! Everything here feels wrong. How many stories does this lab even have?!... Is this just for a visual pun?)

“I hardly see what you’re talking about, the setup they have here is magnificent. I haven’t the foggiest idea where on earth they could have found some of these works, I never expected I’d be able to so much as see them much less be in their presence during my lifetime.” (THAT PROVES IT’S CREEPY DAMNIT!)

As Kokichi stepped out to investigate Kaede’s “ghost bear” it was almost funny to see Kiyo flit about the room like he was a kid in a candy store. Almost. Though hearing him ramble about how there was a book with “spells” written by the sole survivor of a village, fueled by the fury behind the girl’s pen as she wrote, the incredibly heavy dog statue and cage meant for a séance from it, and a genuine katana did nothing to ease Kaede’s nerves at all. Not that he noticed in his sheer delight at everything around him.

Kokichi really should have expected to find her curled up into a ball like this, sitting on one of the seats near the bookshelves with her head on her knees, when he got back.

“Uhh, Kiyo I think you broke her. Great, now who’s gonna save us from Angie’s crazy cultists?! They even have Kirumi, we can’t compete with that! All we have is an idiot and scary people! WE’RE DOOOOMED!” Kokichi faux-sobbed with his crocodile tears again as Kiyo sighed.

“Technically we do also have one of the less incompetent and supposedly benevolent of Monokuma’s progeny, but you make a fair assessment. They also have Gonta and Tenko among them, which is also concerning as both are as strong as they are gullible I fear. Unless Kaede is back with us now of course?”

“Darn you all to heck, you horrible, horrible people” Came Kaede’s deadpanned reply, muffled by her body.

“Nope! Still broken, she can’t even curse now.”

“... Hmm, I see. Very well then, speaking of curses-” Kiyo’s words certainly got Kaede back on her feet.

“NO! NO MORE CURSES. I HEARD ENOUGH TODAY.” Too bad Kaede’s pointer finger in his face didn’t have its intended effect, as he was still more amused than anything else. She chalked it up to the height thing.

“There, that appears to have done the trick. My apologies for not seeing sooner how distressed you were becoming, I got rather overzealous you could say.” (Or you could say you were a dick, you jerk!)

“That-Is-Good-” Monodam caught the enraged glare Kaede gave him and backpedaled. “I-Mean-Not-Being-Insensitive-To-Your-Friends, That-Is-Bad. But-That-Enjoying-Your-Lab-Is-Good! Each-Was-Tailor-Made-For-You-Bastards-After-All.”

“Is that more or less creepy to hear than everything else here?” (LESS . INFINITELY LESS. Er-waitaminute.)

That did explain the selection of music in her own lab, any songs she saw that Kaede didn’t immediately recognize she still had a vague knowledge of. Like she heard of it and just hadn’t listened to them yet.

And it did indicate they were all in this place for a specific reason, to be singled out like this. But not why or what the reasoning behind this could be for. (I mean even if it looks like a prison school only maybe a handful of us seem like we’d actually belong in one, and if Kirumi’s the prime minister in all but title she shouldn’t fit. Unless she was used as a scapegoat for something? Would she remember that?)

“If such efforts were made to study and accommodate us why were we made to kill each other then? This is rather extreme for a mere social experiment, wouldn’t you say?” Kiyo asked, looking over some of his displays as he did.

“I-Can’t-Tell-You-That. Sorry. I-Could-Tell-You-Other-Things-But-Only-For-The-Killing-Game-Itself, Not Where-You-Bastards-Are. And-As-The-Killings-Should-End-Now-That-Doesn’t-Matter-Anymore.”

“I dunno~ If you have a motive for us later it could make you Monokuma wannabes at least a little useful. Might make us like you a little bit. So spill it, any other “special rules” we didn’t know about?” Kokichi said, putting the bear in something between a hold and a hug.

“Umm… There-Is-The-Tiebreaker-Rule? If-Multiple-People-Tie-For-Having-The-Most-Votes-And-The- Blackened-Is-One-Of-Them-Then-It-Counts-And-The-Spotless-Would-Be-Safe-From-Execution. It-Even- Works-With-Everyone-Only-Having-One-Vote, So-If-You-All-Agreed-To-Vote-For-Yourselves-You’d-Win!”

“I hardly believe the blackened would ever allow things to turn out in such a way. They’d simply need to lie and vote for anyone else to ensure their own survival would be guaranteed, yes?”

Monodam began bashfully poking his paws together at Kiyo's point, almost like he thought his way would have really worked. He also got a bit nervous when Kokichi brought up another motive appearing, so even without their father’s “game” apparently his cubs have something in store for them all later anyway.

When Kaede was feeling marginally better she made another attempt at looking for where Monodam’s hammer was meant to be used. Kokichi confirmed the three side doors were empty, denying seeing any ghosts or ghouls with a snicker, as he and Kiyo chose to keep her company. (To see me cry again?! Jerks.)

Monodam was trying to not so subtly lead them back towards the three doors, but instead the group went to see about Kaito’s group in the last room. Well, Kiyo and Kokichi did, as Kaede turned around and ran right back to Monodam upon seeing the blood-red hallway, much to Kokichi’s annoyance.

“Seriously Kaede?! Come on you scaredy cat get back here, we have work to do!” Kokichi called after her.

“We hardly need her for this. As Monodam is indicating this isn’t where his item needs to go why don’t we leave that to her for now? I strongly doubt this will be getting any easier on her mind quite yet.”

“It’s the principle of it! Why should we go somewhere when our “leader” won’t?! Kaede come baaack~”

Kiyo ignored Kokichi’s attempt to drag Kaede back and briefly continued along the hallway that supposedly Kaito was capable of going through, before walking back looking like he found something particularly amusing in the hallway ahead. Kaede didn’t have too long to wonder what sort of horrible thing this was foreshadowing as Kokichi pushed her onwards like she was stubborn packhorse stuck by a river.

The series of Jizo statues, decapitated and otherwise, certainly explained what Kiyo thought was so damn funny, but Kokichi and Kaede were less appreciative of the “joke” as the push shifted into more of a cling. As she tried going back again, Kokichi spun on his heel with the force behind her, but shifted their momentum to shoving her forwards instead. While the two made their mad sprint past the 8 figures Kiyo calmy trailed behind them, pausing to examine the statues and the Torii sitting across the way.

Kaede nearly ran into Kaito in her run to get anywhere but the eerie rotting red hallways around her, who she could not be more grateful to see. Since she was still soon followed by Kokichi Kaito wouldn’t be able to say the same, but since he finally got the hug he asked for before he was certainly not complaining.

“Hey there, you okay?” (NO. I have never been good at test of courage type stuff! I never want to come here again. EVER. At least the hallway here looks normal again? Is that another lab? Are we done yet?!)

As that isn’t best to admit Kaede tried salvaging what she could of this situation. “Y-yeah, it’s just a bit too… Spooky for me, you know? With… The gross wallpaper, and stuff on the ceiling, and the lighting-”

“And Kiyo with his sadistic horror fetish!” Kokichi’s voice chimed in behind her.

“And Kiyo with his- Hey wait no, you stay out of this! You made me go through there!”

“Right into Kaito’s waiting arms! You better not let Maki catch the two of you like this~”

“That could prove most troublesome, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned". And who knows what a slighted assassin may do should her fickle feelings sour.” (Do you really have to say stuff like that here Kiyo?!... Of course you do, stupid question. Please don’t kill me Maki.)

“That’s not funny you two, knock it off!” Kaito scolded, giving both of the boys a firm look as if they all didn’t know that push come to shove either could leave him a terrified mess. “You’re here for Angie’s lab right? It’s open and everything so get move on with it. Though unlike the others this one does have locks, which might cause issues later. No idea where the keys for it are yet since we couldn’t find any inside.”

The high ceilings were weird to see be continued from the hallways around it, but the contrasting tone of the normal white fluorescent lighting was a welcome relief. At least Angie wouldn’t need to worry about art supplies or areas for her work to dry anymore, she could even probably hang stuff from the exposed beams if she had to free up floor space.

Having two different types of doors was another odd detail, considering both in Kiyo’s lab matched. But not all of the light fixtures matched either so maybe this was a preference of Angie’s, as she wasn’t here to give them any input beyond what could be seen. No Flashback Lights were in here at least, just Maki and Ryoma looking around the large workspace.

… Which meant it was likely for the best to leave and go see what Monodam was so intent on. Oh, joy.

Kaede managed to get through the disturbing trek faster this time, at a brisk walk while trying not to look around herself too much, but she had stubbed her foot on one of the Jizo heads lying on the floor in her hurry. (And now we know those things are heavy, even though they’re round it barely budged. OWWW!)

Kaito at least was with her this time, which made for much more pleasant company as he wasn’t faring much better than she was as far as nerves were concerned in these hopefully not-so-haunted hallways. She thought it for the best to not point out other rooms on this floor might not be able to have the title. It was getting easier to get used to this now at least, which was little comfort but a comfort nonetheless.

Monodam was sitting on the floor pulling at his feet with his paws until he saw them return, quick to get to his feet and pull them towards the painted glass at the end of the hallway. He nearly threw his hammer at them trying to “hint” to them how exactly they were meant to solve this “riddle”.

Pushy little brat isn’t he? Cuter than the yellow one at least, since he is trying to make himself useful. Sibling murder notwithstanding of course.

Kaito did what he wanted though, and through the shattered glass another hallway could be seen. Still a creepy hallway in its own way, but this one looked more high tech. Tubes and exposed stainless steel floors almost feeling like they’d be better suited to a spaceship than a school.

The door they found at the end had a light with the words “Computer Room” above it, and when they approached the unusual locks sprang to life to open for them. (Must be motion activated or something then, weird to see here.)

This room was massive, nearly if not as big as the labs on this floor were already, and had it not been called the “Computer Room” already Kaede wouldn’t have known what to make of the large cube in the center of the space, surrounded by monitors. (Right, technically computers are those tower things, not the screens aren’t they? But I’ve never seen one this big! I didn’t even know cables came in that size.)

Kaito let out a low whistle as he took everything in and Monodam explained this was for the latest incarnation of the “Neo-World Program”, a simulated world people could enter if they wanted to. (Miu probably would have had a field day with this thing if she were here… But then that could have just lead to her trying to kill someone anyway, couldn’t it? In a world where she’d know the rules better than us.)

But of more of their direct concern was the treasure chest to the left of it. One that looked just like the one with the previous Flashback Light the time before. Kaede made a beeline for it and took the precious clue to what was going on with her and her friends, putting it in her backpack for safe keeping.

She told Kaito to gather everyone on this floor and meet up later as she headed to find Angie’s group.

Best to have everyone regroup in the Dining Hall to see what we’ll be doing with this. It’s as good a time as any to see what they’ve found so far too.

First Chapter     Previous Chapter     Index     AO3 Version     Next Chapter