#it probably won't stick because i need her to have more blue and while the lineart here fulfills that the design itself is lacking

[op3ra]

design refreshes for my rusty and london wrench

[nightingale-prompts]

Batboy Meets Batfam

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"Relax Batty, it's just one dinner." Dick parked the car inside the Wayne family manor's garage.

"But I hate billionaires. Can't we just go to Batburger and go home." Danny whined slumping in his seat.

"What's so bad about it? He's your grandfather now." Dick asked.

"The last billionaire I met was the only other of my kind. And he was awful. Tried to kill me, clone me, marry my mom, kill my dad, ruined my life. That last one was something he achieved." Danny's wings materilized and wrapped around him as he sulked.

"I know it's hard Danny and I can't promise no one will ever try to hurt you like that again but I can promise I'll stick by you. I can also promise to kick the butt of anyone who tries messing with you." Dick said ruffing Danny's black hair that popped out from under his leathery wings.

"Still don't wanna go." As Danny said this he began to shrink.

Dick sighed, he had learned recently that Danny was a shifter of some kind. It was useful to hide his identity but he would also use it to get out of doing things. When Dick told Danny to clean his room or study Danny would shrink to the size of a toddler and say "Im baby" to get out of it. Dick is ashamed to admit that he's let Danny get away with it because baby bat pictures are precious and worth their weight in gold. He has a wallet full of pictures now.

But Dick has to put his foot down this time.

"Danny being little won't get you out of this. Do you really want to meet your new family like this?" Dick asked.

Danny huffed and turned in his now ill-fitting hoddie the size of a 6 year old.

"Alright come on." Dick gave up scooping the toddler-sized teen under one arm and walking into the manor. "Alfred still has Bruce's old baby clothes somewhere."

"Ahh!"Danny yelped.

"What? Don't want that? If you show up as a baby, they will think you are one. You know Tim Drake is going to be there. He's going to be in the same school as you. Do you want him to think you're a baby?" Dick said holding the kid at eye level.

In surrender, Danny grew back to his normal size.

Dinner was oddly quite as everyone studied Danny closely.

Barbara was the least concerned as he talked about work with Dick and pushed Danny a bowl of strawberry salad. She wanted good aunt points. Danny would love her the most.

Cassie studied Danny's features. It was almost creepy how much he looked like Dick. She'd believe it if Dick was his biological father. Except for the eyes. Danny had a very particular eye color they were blue in the center but kind of had a green ring on the iris. The condition was called central heterochromia and it's rare.

Damian wasn't glaring like he usually would. He looked almost wide-eyed at Danny but remained silent.

Jason was absent as always apparently he was moved by Dick's announcement.

Then again Danny was supposed to be a surprise.

Tim and Danny seem to strike a cord immediately. Danny despite how silly he was the teen was very intelligent. Tim wasn't as subtle as he wish, mostly because Danny cornered him in conversation.

"So you're more used to living in a small town?" Tim smiled politely.

"Hmm? I didn't say that exactly. I said Im just new to the city." Danny responded.

"So you're from a different city? Metro or Star?"

"Neither, It's nowhere you'd know. Not really notable."

"You're going to be family soon, of course i want to know."

They went back and forth for a while. Tim was probably irritated after finding nothing about Danny's identity. And that meant Bruce was probably suspicious as well. Dick had to bet that Bruce's overactive paternal instincts would overwrite his need to investigate.

"So Danny, have you heard of the new vigilante in Bludhaven? The one they call Batboy?"Bruce asked wiping his mouth with a napkin as he ate.

This was the question Danny was waiting for.

"Of course! Have you seen the pictures on social media! Everyone is talking about him. Like, he has wings like a bat. Do you know what I'd do to get that power?! I mean he's not Superman but come on its so cool. We don't have metas-Is that what you call them? Yeah, metas. We don't have them where I'm from so I didn't think I'd ever met one. Dick said he met him the last time he saw Nightwing and promised to get me a picture but he didn't and he said he forgot." Danny put on a pretty convincing fanboy routine.

"I see. So Dick told you he's friends with Nightwing?" Bruce probed.

"He didn't need to tell me. Nightwing found me after I ended up in Bludhaven. I was pretty banged up and he parched me up and took me to the police station. I tried to leave but he told me that Detective Grayson would look out for me." Danny said digging through his salad to pick out the fruit and nuts.

"What about your parents?" Bruce asked softly.

"Bruce," Dick said in warning.

"Its fine...my parents didn't want me anymore. I can't go back. They'd probably kill me. But it doesn't matter anymore, they aren't here." Danny said stiffly feeling uncomfortable for saying a bit of truth.

They say the best way to lie is to have a bit of truth. Danny disagreed. The base way to lie is to have no truth, so they can't tell the difference.

Dick pulled the teen closer as Danny pulled his hands inside this hoodie hiding one of the burn scars on his arm but just enough to show that they were there.

Bruce didn't say another word.

Damian seemed to make his mind up at some point and joined in the conversation.

"Do you eat meat, Nightingale? I've noticed you haven't touched anything with it." Damian sounded oldly cordial.

"Ew, no. I don't eat meat. My friend always said meat was murder and taught me about how evil slaughterhouses were. We once raided a local farm to-oop. I forgot there are detectives at the table. I promise I'm a law-abiding citizen and not an eco-terrorist...anymore." Danny smiled too innocently.

Damian nodded in understanding. They had found common ground. That still doesn't mean he liked Nightingale. But he couldn't fight him since he didn't seem to know anything about their vigilante lifestyle.

Damian had to begrudgingly admit that Danny's presence was welcome. Soothing even.

It didn't matter. He and Drake still had bigger plans. Finding out who this "Batboy" was. They just needed Dick five up some information about the bat metahuman.

Tim had his suspicions that it was Danny but Batboy had stark white hair with black streaks and green eyes. Not to mention wings.

They would have to agree to disagree.

"Danny you have to eat something other than fruit. Eat the rest of the salad." Dick tried to sound stern but caved almost immediately when Danny pretended he didn't hear that.

Bruce internally sighed. Does he step in and help or let Dick figure it out. How does one be a grandpa to a non-vigilante who you can't threaten with no patrols?

*Bonus*

Danny when he see fruit.

[thegnomelord]

Ahhh! The Harpy Gaz fic was so cute. But that section at the beginning has me thinking about Ghost, who is interested in reader hybrid that has a very unusual courting ritual(s).

Like, apparently, pandas have a weird hostage situation. The female runs and hides in trees while male competitors fight for her. They will follow her around and try to steal her away until she's ready to mate. It's theorized that this little battle actually stimulates the mating cycle. Similarly, female ferrets don't ovulate unless they're being mauled half to death. (Doesn't sound pleasant to me, but to each their own) my thought here would be more like Ghost's total confusion as to why you seem to like fighting him so much.

Or one of my personal favorites, certain birds and pufferfish (and probably many others that idk yet) have taken to terraforming. They'll create intricate designs and illusions with sand, rocks, sticks, bones, whatever you can think of to attract a mate. The structure they create doubles as a sort of nest. Bowerbirds are particularly keen on displaying an assortment of blue things specifically.

Ooh or shrikes, imagine Ghost's reaction to seeing his favorite food impaled on a sharp object (maybe a combat knife). Tbh, that would be a little threatening. Opening the fridge and seeing a steak or something stabbed with a combat knife and a little note saying, "For Ghost, I hope you enjoy 😁❤️"

Sorry for the little rant, I have an unnecessary amount of knowledge about animal mating rituals.

- 👑 anon

No, no, as a fellow animal nerd I find this stuff so interesting!

I think Ghost would be weirdly into the knife being impaled in his food. Especially if you attempt to feed him with the knife, like sticking small chunks on the tip and expecting him to eat off the knife. And while he acts aloof he's hard in his pants because there's something hot about you using a dangerous object so tenderly with him (also weapon kink idk)

I really love the idea of reader being some deep sea monster or of some species that has a "fuck or die" mentality. Like some anglerfish or spider sexual dimorphism thing where if you were to court your own kind they'd be like 4-5 times your size and wouldn't hesitate to eat you. So you're very crafty and your courting rituals are weird as fuck.

Like Ghost is reading up on your species mating habits and seeing you tie up your mate and if they can't get out you fuck? And if they can you die? Should he be worried? And like he's rethinking every enemy takedown simulation you two had when you needed to tie him up like; were you courting him? was he courting you? what?

Or an especially powerful monster that has a tendency to make nests out of bones, to show how strong they are. So Ghost just walks into your room to see it covered from floor to ceiling in bones of all kinds of creatures with you looking at him like a puppy lol

Or or some kind of mercreature monster reader having a ritual where they pull their mate down to the depths away from competitors, because if it's not dark and cold and you're not drowning your mate won't want to fuck, and Simon's wondering if he needs to buy scuba gear?

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

Everlark (Catching Fire, Ch. 15-16)

(finnick and johanna are in the building. i repeat, finnick and johanna are in the building!)

katniss likes her men medium handsome. she likes to find the beauty in the ordinary things. so of course finnick is of no interest to her whereas peeta...

katniss mocking finnick to peeta is hilarious

"because you have a weakness for beautiful things and i don't" "having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness... except possibly when it comes to you" i know peeta had katniss's insides turning to mush on the regular. again, them having another compliment-off. they love those.

katniss fixating on peeta's blue eyes. again. "those blue eyes" - they're nothing spectacular... they're just blue eyes that belong to him so they're those blue eyes.

hand holding is just their thing. constant handholding at every opportunity. their hands are permanently intertwined

"peeta and i.. are so mesmerising" "peeta and i appear... young and strong and beautiful"

katniss being JEALOUS when johanna strips down. like she's so annoyed she won't look at peeta and throws his hand away from her when johanna leaves. "she spends the whole ride... chatting to peeta about his paintings while the light of his still-glowing costume reflects off her bare breasts" - she's MAD mad.

their fight after the elevator is so teenage it makes my heart ache. like they're really just teenagers navigating so many human experiences for the first time amongst this chaos.

one of the main reasons she's still angry with him the next day is because of him teasing her (and lingering jealousy over johanna). her being like 'i don't want his comfort but i'm still gonna die to ensure he's alive but i don't owe him more than that' (paraphrasing) is so funny because what do you even mean, katniss? she's unhinged

peeta just having a big group of friends around all the time, like he did in district 12 - and still it's katniss he wants the most. aw. "it's amazing that he ever took any notice of me." you can't convince me that katniss doesn't absolutely adore that she's peeta's chosen one. like she feels so special that he fell in love with her/chooses to love her.

"so i'm stupid for thinking that they might be useful. because of something johanna mason said while she was oiling up her breasts for wrestling" - oh she is so jealous and mad. lmao

i don't think i hold anything against peeta for not saying/doing something to chaff in the moment he kisses katniss. like he's also just 17 and he was probably equally caught off guard. haymitch really should've been the one to protect her but he laughed. peeta saying he won't let chaff kiss her again feels like him teasing but also him realising that she really didn't like that and i know for sure he wouldn't let that happen again.

katniss being like oh these people are quite nice and friendly and quite damaged that i would want to protect them "but all of them must die if i'm to save peeta" - she's unhinged. and this goes back to my point that a lot of her motivations are driven for selfish reasons. she's saving peeta for herself, because it's what she needs to happen

katniss doesn't want to stick it to the gamemakers because they're terrible people (although i'm sure that plays a part), it's just so she can draw attention away from peeta and hopefully onto herself for the sake of his survival

[sissylittlefeather]

Introducing...

A Very Quiet Life

A/N: this is an AU in which Elvis is your next door neighbor in the suburbs in the mid-late '60s. I have three parts completed and more in the works, so hang on for some chapters!

I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: The reader is a widow. That's about it. It's pretty fluffy, but don't worry. The smut is coming 😈

Song inspo:

Gif inspo (this is how I picture him in this one)

The little house is perfect for your family of 3. You stand and look at it from where you've just gotten out of your car. The white siding and blue shutters are exactly what you wanted. You'll have to get a lawnmower, though, because the yard is already a little wild.

"Mama, can we get out and see?" Your 7-year-old daughter, Jane, calls from her place on the backseat. Your 5-year-old son, Michael, is knocking on the window. The sound of the kids pulls you out of your daydream about how many wonderful memories you'll make there together. You turn around and let them both out of the car. They run up to the front door and you decide to unload the car later. The movers have already gotten all the furniture and big boxes into the house. When you open the front door, you have a soft pang in your heart as you think of how your husband had carried you across the threshold at your old apartment. Now that he's gone, you'll have to carry yourself. You walk in and go to the kitchen to start unpacking. You're excited to make this into a home. This little house is your pride and joy. Between your husband's army death benefits and your part time job typing in an office, you were finally able to save up for the house. Now it's yours and you can't wait to live here and have a real future. Since your husband died, you feel like you've been in a holding pattern. However, it's been almost 4 years, and you're ready to live again.

As you unpack glasses into the cabinet, something catches your eye out the window over the sink. The window looks into your neighbor's front yard. It's beautifully manicured and you can see why. There's a man out there cutting the grass. A very attractive man, you think to yourself. His dark hair is wet with sweat and his white t-shirt sticks to his broad chest, revealing a manly and strong physique. When he pushes the mower, his muscles flex and the veins in his forearm are visible. His skin is tanned from working outside, probably on the lawn. You don't even notice you're biting your lower lip until he looks up in the direction of your window. You gasp and drop the glass you were holding in the sink.

Can he see you?

Thankfully, the glass doesn't break and you're able to pick it up quickly and go back to what you were doing. When you take a chance and look back out the window, you see that he's shaking his head and smiling, looking down at the mower. His smile almost takes your breath away. You wonder if he's smiling because he saw you or because of something else. Deciding it must be something else, you turn and go back to unpacking boxes in the kitchen. Your neighbor is a lucky woman.

******

You smooth Michael's hair and brush some crumbs off of his front. Then, you straighten Jane's hair ribbon.

"Now, remember to smile. We want our neighbors to like us." You coo to the children just before you knock on the front door of your neighbor's house. You've been in your new home for three days, so it seems like the right time to get to know the people around you. On your right is Mrs. Pottsboro, an older lady with several cats. She was very kind and appreciative of the cookies you brought. She also volunteered to watch the children if you need her to, which is an offer you won't forget. Directly across the street are the Walters, a family of five with kids around the same ages as yours. You enjoyed a nice conversation with them while the kids munched on cookies and ran around the yard. Now, you are at the house to your left. As you knock, you briefly remember the man you saw mowing the lawn. You've seen him a couple of times since then, getting the paper and watering the grass. You really need to meet his wife and put a stop to the things you've been thinking about him.

The door opens and it feels like a ton of bricks has landed in your stomach. It's him. After a few seconds of standing there smiling like an idiot, him trying to suppress a smirk, you clear your throat and speak.

"Hi! I'm y/f/n y/l/n and this is Jane and Michael." You touch the kids on their heads as you say their names. "We just moved in next door, so we wanted to stop by and say hello and give you these." You hold out a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

"Thank you. Why don't you all come on in?" His voice is warm and the southern accent makes it sound honey-smooth. You start to sweat a little, standing on the porch. He takes the plate of cookies and gestures for you all to come in. When you pass him, you catch a wave of his scent and it's warm and masculine, like his body seems to be. A part of you longs to smell it closer, but then reality slams into you like a freight train when his wife rounds the corner.

"Oh, hello!" She's petite and blonde, with her hair twisted into a tight bun.

"Beth, our new neighbors are here. They brought us cookies." He smiles warmly at you and holds the cookies up for her to see.

"That's so sweet! Unfortunately, we don't eat sugar." She grabs the plate and tries to hand it back to you. He intercepts it.

"She doesn't eat sugar. I do." She makes a tight-lipped smile, her eyes overly bright.

"Right. Well, thank you." She walks out of the room, leaving you and your kids with him. He bends down to be face-level with your kids.

"You guys want to help me eat these?" They both smile and nod their heads, taking a cookie from the plate that he holds out to them. He seems to be enlivened by their presence, asking them questions about the new house and their new school. They respond to him easily, comfortable with him instantly.

"Does your daddy like the new house?" He asks innocently, looking up at you.

"Oh--" you try to cut in, but Jane beats you to it.

"--our daddy is gone. He died a while back. It's just us now." His face changes to a look of deep sympathy.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Jane." He looks up at you but keeps talking like he's talking to her. "If you or your mama ever need a man to do anything around the house, you just let me know. I'm right next door." Michael jumps in.

"Mister, I'm the man of the house now. I can take care of mama and Jane."

"Of course!" He smiles. "I bet you do a great job, too. If you ever need a bigger man, you come get me, okay?" He does a little fake punch on Michael's chin. Michael nods in agreement.

"Yes sir, Mr...?"

"Presley. Elvis Presley. Pleased to meet you." He shakes Michael's hand and kisses Jane's lightly. You have to shake yourself a bit to remember that you should leave.

"Alright, kiddos, we've bothered Mr. Presley long enough. Let's go back home." You try to usher the kids toward the door. As you walk out, he turns to you.

"It's really no problem at all, ma'am. I like kids. And I'm serious, if you need anything, let me know." He winks and you almost melt into a puddle on his front porch.

"Thank you, Mr. Presley."

"Elvis, please."

"Thank you, Elvis." It feels strange to call him by his first name, but since he insists, you oblige. He closes the door behind you and you take the hands of both kids and walk back to your own house.

******

You're doing dishes a few days later, looking out at your crazy yard compared to your neighbors' perfect one. For a second, you consider asking Mr. Presley to come mow it for you. But you don't want to inconvenience him. He was so kind to you and the children when you were there. His wife wasn't much to smile at, being almost cold in her refusal to talk to them. To be honest, you've thought of inviting him over several times. You've even considered breaking something just to have him come fix it, but you also know how bizarre and wrong that would be. You finish the dishes, get the kids ready for school and head to your job at the office.

******

After work, you drive up to the house, excited for the hour of free time you have before you have to pick up the kids. To your surprise, most of the yard is mowed. You're trying to figure out how that happened when you spot him. It's Elvis. He's out there mowing your yard without even being asked. As you walk up to the door, he turns and waves to you. You mouth "thank you" and walk inside the front door. You need to do something to show him that you're thankful for what he's doing. In the kitchen, you whip up some sweet tea and pour two glasses. By the time you get them on a tray and to the front porch, he's finished mowing the lawn. He's sweating again, T-shirt tight on his shoulders.

"Would you like some tea?" You ask shyly.

"I would, ma'am, thank you." He walks up on the porch and takes the glass from the tray.

"You don't have to call me ma'am. You can call me y/n."

"Oh, well, thank you y/n." He smiles and you feel yourself tense up. He's standing close enough to you that you catch the earthy smell of his sweat mixed with deodorant or aftershave or something manly. It's intoxicating. He's intoxicating. He takes a deep swig of his tea and then looks at you.

"Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" It seems like a strange request, since his house is so close, but you don't seem to be capable of telling him no. You lead him into the house to the small guest bath. When he comes out, he walks over to where you're standing in the kitchen, trying not to be too obvious about waiting for him.

"You didn't have to do that." You gesture to the yard.

"I know. But I wanted to. I was serious about you letting me know if you need any help." He smiles warmly.

"Kids still at school?" He looks around the house, seeming almost disappointed that they aren't there.

"Yes. I'll pick them up soon. I just come home a bit early to have an hour of quiet before I go get them." He nods and you suddenly realize that you're alone with him in your house. Your mind goes wild with daydreams of him laying you down on the couch and having his way with you.

"Well, thank you for the tea. I should be getting back." You nod and head for the door.

Before you can get there though, you feel a hand on your wrist. You look up into his face for half a second before he presses his lips against yours. You should pull away. You should stop him. But you don't. Instead you go limp and let him wrap his arms around your waist. The kiss is a sweet one, with no tongue or anything. He just holds you there with his mouth pushed into yours. When he finally pulls back, you feel like a rag doll in his arms. You desperately want him to keep kissing you, but he doesn't. Instead, he unravels his arms from around you and heads for the door. He mumbles a quick apology and disappears before you can say anything else.

You haven't felt this alive in years.

******

Chapter 2 coming soon!

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Taglist: @itlover8000 @deniseinmn @elvisalltheway101

Want to be added to the Taglist? Let me know!

[hereforthefunnyguys]

yugioh characters sexuality (long edition):

yugi: bisexual and possibly aromantic. In the case of the last one it took him forever to admit it to himself because he associated it with the usual "I shall be unlovable and monstrous forever" schtick. Also he's nonbinary

atem: asexual and biromantic (is tag-teaming with yugi. Covering each others bases) doesn't know what a gender is and is slightly perplexed by his partners complex relationship with it

joey: I like how we have all agreed he’s bi. Has a slight preference for men (55-45 ratio about) and simultaneously a preference for more feminine looking people. outside of gender terms he's a leg man don't @ me

Anzu: also bisexual with a preference for men (60-40). Tgirl Anzu that is hustling to pay for estrogen and bottom surgery and does dance partially because it gives her gender euphoria my beloved

Honda: gay sorry miho. Took longer to admit it than Joey but is dealing with it better than he is tbh. Give him a good boyfriend for his patience please

Ryou: we’re not sure actually. He’s not even sure. Likes guys… probably. May not like women… maybe? Likes ghosts. Whether or not he's a tboy is a 50/50 toss in the air

Evil(tm) Bakura: he came from a time before pride pins existed but mostly likes guys yeah. Not actually as horny as people make him out to be. Tkb has no rizz I will stand by this he was a feral child that was mostly focused on vengeance and food all the time.

Pegasus: straight in a gay way I won't be elaborating. Might be a lesbian.

Kaiba: Blue Eyes White Dragon with left homophobia regardless of any actual attraction he experiences.

Duke: Bisexual but he does not know how to be normal about it. There is a difference in his mind between exploiting sexuality/flirting and actually engaging in it on a personal level. The first he is good at the latter less good at. He will have a gender crisis once and return with his new gender, Cis+ and/or genderfluid.

Marik: Sometimes a man is misogynistic enough that he becomes gay (real talk he is gay and the idea of needing to Procreate for the sake of the tombkeepers lineage has haunted him from day 1). Also he might be transfem but probably will never know that due to internalized self loathing and various other issues (is tempted to just stay a cis guy because everyone assumes hes a girl because of how he dresses and that was just like. Normal Guy Clothes for him growing up)

Yami Marik: technically the same thing as normal marik but also he couldn't gaf about something as stupid as 'gender' (his or others) in the long run because he has better things to do, like murder people and lick random surfaces

Ishizu: Lesbian and was not looking forward to continuing the bloodline of the Tombkeepers Heritage (tm). Is going to have a gender crisis at age 23 and her siblings are going to be very supportive of her while she cuts off all her hair and starts wearing exclusively wearing business suits (may or may not stick)

Rishid: The only relationship i care about is rishid x therapy. Someone a while ago said nb lesbian rishid and i support the vision

Mana: Girl :) (no further explanation in her head). She is putting off marriage for as long as possible, a difficult feat for your average well-off teenage girl in Ancient Egypt.

Zorc: Zorc 𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙𓆙!

[greatestrival]

in celebration of star trek day (which i am. three days late to) have this star trek maxiel au from an abandoned star trek au that i won't finish until aos4 comes out. which will probably never happen. but enjoy!!!

879 words.

“Are you staying onboard for shore leave?” Daniel asks.

They’re both in Max’s quarters. Which doesn’t mean much considering Daniel’s quarters are only four rooms away. Though, everyone on the Nomad knows that Max’s quarters have been the Verstappen-Ricciardo quarters since the start of her second voyage. The medical crew would ping Max’s quarters if they ever needed Daniel, same with any urgent messages from the commanding officers. Daniel’s clothes are stacked inside of Max’s closet and Daniel’s blue uniform hangs beside Max’s red on the rack. 

“Max...” Daniel whines. They’re both lying on the bed. These beds weren’t made for two people. Even if both of them have lieutenant commander privileges, Starfleet isn’t particularly encouraging bed-sharing between personnel. They make it work. Daniel is a chronic cuddler and Max is a chronic Daniel-er. 

Daniel is lying on Max’s chest. They’re both wearing loose shirts and shorts. Both of them know that with all the privileges of being high-ranking officers, they have the responsibility of being the first people called in any emergencies. In short, they don’t have the privilege of sleeping naked anymore. 

Max already has his eyes closed and only lets out a short grunt as Daniel pokes him in the chest. The thing is, Max enjoys a good night out as much as anyone whose job is to be cooped up in a skyscraper-sized Starship. But it’s already passed the halfway point of their deep space exploration. Which means that the Nomad will need more reparations and inspections before they can come back to Earth. During shore leaves, it’s the best moment to do inspections since there’s no rush to turn on the warp core for a speedy exit. Max knows it. Daniel knows it too. 

But the thing is, it’s been a while since Max has gone out on a date with Daniel. During their last shore leave, they were running the warp core a little too much after a hostile encounter with some Klingons. Forcing them to retreat after attempting to contact any nearby vessels for aid. Starfleet informed them to dock on a nearby known friendly planet and Captain Horner declared a shore leave as the engineering and operations team worked night and day to fix everything. Safe to say, Max did not have enough time to enjoy the days off. 

Neither did Daniel. 

After the announcement, Max told Daniel that he should spend some time off too. He and his crew were running on fumes after taking care of all the injured. The planet that they docked at was known for their night markets and after a quick search, famous for their grilled—something? Daniel read out loud from an article that the flavour is similar to an Earth grilled barbeque and Max knew that it was one of Daniel’s vices. 

Daniel had taken a look at him and told him that he’d bring something nice back. On the first night of the leave, Daniel showed off all the things that he brought back and hand-fed Max something grilled on a stick. Max had been too tired to notice what it was he was eating other than the fact that it was good and Daniel was feeding him. Then Daniel proceeded to hole himself in Max’s office for the rest of the shore leave and declared himself the “Max recharging station!” whenever Max got too frustrated during repairs. 

It was safe to say that many engineers only had their heads still stuck above their shoulders because of the “recharging station.” 

(What Max doesn’t know is that the engineering department had sent Daniel a box of nuts-free chocolates.)

“Where are we going?” Max decides to say. 

Daniel rolls over him to grab his data pad off the table and the screen immediately lights up. Max scrunches his nose as he tries to cover his eyes with his arm and Daniel says a quick, “Sorry.” 

“Holy shit Max. We’re docking on a beach planet,” Daniel says.

Max mumbles an affirmative. 

“You wanna go surfing? Look, Max,” Daniel rolls back to face Max and tries to shove the data pad in front of his face. Max barely opened his eyes before he turned his body away. 

“Max, c’mon babe.”

Max mumbles—“Whatever you want.”

“Sorry I didn’t catch that babe, what’d you say?” 

Not wanting his sleep to further be interrupted, Max fully opens his eyes before rolling back to face Daniel. He’s scrolling endlessly on the datapad, more than likely just looking at what the planet has to offer. Max huffs. 

“Daniel. I obviously have no preference over what we should do. I just want to enjoy some time with you,” Max says earnestly. Daniel turns his head to look at him, smiling widely. He turns the datapad off and puts it back on the table. Then, snuggles closer to Max until their noses touch each other. 

Max had closed his eyes already when Daniel suddenly asked him, “D’you wanna know something, babe?” 

Max simply acknowledges him with a nod. 

“I like you so much.” Max still has eyes closed but he blindly throws his arm around where he guesses Daniel’s waist is to get them closer together. He uses the opportunity to nuzzle his nose to Daniel’s collarbones. 

“I like you so much too.”

[imagines-babes]

Amor Eterno (Foolish)

Hello thank you for over 70 followers and reblogs,likes, and request. I will be getting back to qsmp quackity but someone from my wattpad had an idea of Qsmp! Wilbur headcannons so that in the near future. Anyway today story is long. Also warning this does involve death and a shooting. Just remember this is all fake and it is for the story. The song for today is ‘Amor Eterno,’ Rocío Dúrcal. I hope you enjoy and you can request okay that’s all bye. One more thing it does use his real name in the story.

Foolish_Gamers list Masterlist

**************

Foolish pov

Just another day, it was a happy day. No distractions. No streaming. No filming. Just me and y/n. Us together.

It started in the late morning. We didn't complain. We both needed it. Maybe me more than y/n. But still, we needed it. Getting dressed for the day together. Y/n said they planned the day. Which if it was me I would probably not have done a good job even if y/n tell me otherwise. She kiss my cheek as I chuckled.

Leaving to head inside the car. Sitting on the passenger side as she drives. There was one thing that she wasn't bothered by that made me like her more was she didn't mind if I was a passenger princess. She enjoyed driving but if she drove she has to pick the music. Which I agreed to those rules. Placing a hand on her thigh while she drove his face broke into a smile. For I, looking to the side out the window remembering how we first met. Usually, I won't remember most things but at that moment it was the most important thing for me.

It was the day of the streamer awards. Everyone was being seated while others started to talk seeing their friends for this awards ceremony. Tina was talking to her. She sits at the table next to us. Her dress was navy blue but under the lighting was black. She started to talk more as she look over at me flashing a smile towards me as I froze. Karl was trying to get my attention snapping out of a trance looking over at him. I didn't hear much because my mind was still on her. Till Tina called me over and introduced us. She smiles once more. The smile made me fall for her. I didn't even know them well and I fell for her hard. Her name was Y/n. After that night, we went on to the message and me asking her out.

Feeling the car stop, she looked over to me, 'Ready to go inside.'  Look out the window once more, 'I thought we could go to the aquarium if that's fine with you.' I nod. 'Anything you have planned is always gonna be fine with me.' Giving a smile we both walk inside. Looking at all the fish, sharks, and many other sea animals. Holding her hand as she sometimes rushes to the next part taking every detail in one section. While I started to stare at her. Noticing her smile, the perfume that she puts on, how she does her hair, and how she talks about anything. She looked above us to see a shark smile. 'Hey look it's you,' I look at her then above us to see it swimming around. We reached a part where we can touch the sting ray, I look over at her once more as I notice she was scared. 'It's alright you know you don't have to be scared,' shaking her head immediately. 'I'm not l. I've touched one before for your information Noah.' She stares at me as I called her bluff. Going up to pay for herself to touch one. She stands near the area looking around sticking her hand in as I stand beside her. ‘You sure you can-‘ she glared at me, ‘I’m just feeling the water shut up I know I can do it.’ Watching her hand reach in deeper and then pull it out. There were no strings ray around so we moved to a different spot. Noticing one near a child. Looking at the water once more seeing them touch the little girl's hand while I looked over at y/n. She held her hands together. ‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to.’ Y/n looked up at me as she shakes her head. ‘No, I’m doing it. I paid for it so might as well do it.’ The little girl no more than 6 looked over at us. ‘Are you scared?’ She had a red baseball hat looking over at y/n. She nods. ‘Yeah, but I can do it.’ The little girl gave me a stare then back at y/n. ‘We can touch the next one together.’ Y/n nods putting her hand in once more with the little girl having her hand inside already. The stingray is approaching. The little girl felt it first then move her hand to not touch her hand. She looks at y/n. Y/n felt the stingray back as it was slimy as she pulled it out. The little girl clapped for y/n as I did the same. ‘You did it,’ the little girl smile as she stepped away from the touch tank. ‘Thank you. Where are your parents?’ Y/n asked as the little girl saw them in the corner. ‘They are over there with my brother.’

The atmosphere change as soon as a guy came in with a duffel bag. A guy was feeling as soon as y/n notice him. Both of his hands were in his bag. ‘Hey, little one why don’t you go back with your parents? We will walk you to them right Noah?.’ All I did and agreed. We started to hear till the gunshot appeared behind us. We were all running. All you could hear was glass shattering and people screaming. The little girl was holding onto y/n we ran to the door to leave. Hearing something fall behind us was one of the guards from the front. With us outside we start to hear sirens and lights. Y/n, let’s go of the little girl as she ran to her parents. They thanked you. Mostly y/n. ‘Noah I don’t think I can stand,’ I feel her lean into me. I grab her before she can hit the floor. Looking down at her shirt seeing a gunshot in her chest. I tried to put pressure to stop it from bleeding. Trying to call for someone there was a crowd starting to form. ‘Call 911 please anyone.’ I stare back at y/n she gives a weak smile. Feeling her hand on top of mine. ‘ The little girl is safe right?’ Y/n asked as I nod. ‘Don’t worry about her. Worry about yourself alright y/n’ a person from the crowd says they were 12 minutes away. Looking down at y/n. ‘Do you hear that y/n they are 12 minutes away you just have to stay awake alright?’ Her breath started to slow down. I feel her hand on my cheek. ‘You are gonna be okay alright,’ she was talking as if she was going to die. ‘Don’t talk like that y/n Please don’t talk like that.’ She smiles at me. ‘You are one of the prettiest men I know you know that Noah.’ She moved my hair out of my face. I nod. ‘Noah..how far are they?’ The time felt longer the 12 minutes felt like an hour. But only two minutes have passed. ‘10 minutes okay just breathe and stay with me.’ She tried to nod but her eyes started to close, ‘No No No y/n you have to stay with me, honey. You have to alright they will be here,’ she shakes her head. ‘I’m tired Noah I need to close my eyes,’ she close for a second till I shake her, ‘ I love you you know that Noah I never loved anyone like I have loved you. I need you to let me sleep and I need you to be happy for what we had,’ she stare at me. Shaking my head as she nods, ‘No I’m not gonna let you sleep you have to stay with me please y/n. Who is gonna be with me? When I sleep? When I stream? Who’s gonna make fun of me for when I messed up? Who is gonna laugh with me other stupid jokes. Y/n you can’t leave me not now please.’ I start to hold her with one arm. Feeling her thumb crests my cheeks. ‘ Someone else will and they will do something’s that I couldn’t do. I love you Noah more than anything but they won’t make it and I need to know you will be okay.’ All I did was nod. ‘I need to hear you say it.’ She looked up at me wiping some tears. ‘I will try to be okay’ she breaks into a smile pulling me in for one more late kiss. This kiss was a goodbye. Goodbye for us. Pulling back from the kiss she stare at me once more with a smile. The spark in her eyes as she smile slowly went away. Feeling her hand slide off my cheek to her chest. Hearing the paramedics park near us the rush. They tried to move me away but it wasn’t worth it. They tried to catch a breath or something to revive her. It was too late. They were a minute late. Y/n died in my arms.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. But it did.

[imdoingsortagay]

Claiming the last slot because Jen Barkley needs some love.

A Jen Barkley who has found herself with genuine feelings for you, someone who was supposed to be just another one of her many one night stands. She plans a grand date for Valentine's, wanting to be everything she's always sworn she wouldn't be (cheesey) in order to ask you to be her girlfriend. (This can be celebrated with her then taking you home wink wink nudge nudge)

I won't say ( I'm in love)

Summary: Jen surprises her friend when she talks about wanting to plan a romantic dinner for you when most of the time the woman she fucks never seem to stick

Warnings: Soft Jen? Claire again cause yes. disney songs.

a/n: omg I've fed so many people with Kathryn stuff but here's this <3

" Jennifer Barkley ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE FLING FROM WEEKS AGO?"

" shut the fuck up Debella," Jen tells her friend as she shoves her into the office, scared to have someone hear the other woman say that she has feelings.

Jennifer Barkley is known for being a cut throat bitch, never showing any sort of soft emotions as her only goal career wise was to move up in the political ladder. Which she’s already done, but there was something always missing from her life

A partner or someone for her to come home to besides an empty apartment and several toys to get through the night. That is until you came into her life one faithful Saturday night when all your friends were late to the bar you recommended.

It’s been going on like this for about three months between the two of you. Jennifer would text you to come fuck, she’d let you stay and you’d give her food, and help her clean around her apartment with her attempting to cook in return. It was a sort of domestic bliss if Jen had to name it but there was something always holding her back.

The fear of rejection.

While she knew you’d never hurt a fly ( you personally ask her to save the spiders in her apartment), her inner thoughts always seem to sabotage any sort of chance of Jennifer asking you out on a date.

Until now when she decided to tell Debella about her current crush on you.

“ what’s stopped you from asking her out on a date ? “

“ don’t make fun of me,” Jen mumbles as she makes her way to Claire’s desk, a bit nervous about talking about such vulnerable stuff.

“ never “

So Jen rambles onto her friend about her fears and thoughts while Claire listens. After an hour of crying, fixing her makeup, and more crying from the politician and Claire asks her friend a question she'll probably regret.

" Did you want me and Birdie to help you plan a date for them? "

" What?" Jen asks, wondering if her ears are deceiving her as Claire is never the one to ask to help with anything.

" Birdie always loves to plan our dates and I even took some of those tips too, but if you don't want her to know it's all good," she explains while Jen contemplates having the blonde bimbo in on the plan as just having Debella know already makes her nervous.

" How quickly can she plan a date for Saturday night?"

" For being a bimbo," Claire starts," my girlfriend is quick when she wants to be".

"That's what she said" Jen mumbles and she gets thrown a pillow.

" Stop acting like a dummy and come over here we got a date to plan Barkley?"

Saturday Morning

Jenny Poo: Be ready for me to get you at 12pm y/n, wear something comfy.

y/n: May I know where?

Jenny Poo: Just do it okay

y/n: Okay !!!!!!!!!!! Packing snacks too

In the couple of months that you've known the older woman, she wasn't the one to plan things out of the blue, always claiming that she thrived on having a set schedule but nonetheless, you got ready for the surprise that she has for you. Bringing some snacks that she always mentioned having in her office, humming a tune while you hope the time goes faster.

While on the other side, Jen is freaking out driving to your place, hoping that between her, Claire and Birdie have done a perfect job to impress you. Having paid closely to when you'd sleepily mumble to her about your favorite things to make this date the best thing you've ever experienced. Sure, for the most part, it was Jen who was doing all of the work as Birdie and Claire were flirting for a bit like horny teens, the outcome of last-minute planning was worth it.

Jen just hoped that it was enough to show you that she wasn't afraid to commit to you, to commit to having a relationship with you.

All the overthinking seemed to help her as she made it to your place in no time, sending you a quick text for you to come out.

Jenny Poo: Im outside your apartment honey, ready when you are

The moment you see her text pop up, you respond with a quick heart before running around your place to ensure everything is in order, double-check again then lock the door and try not to speed down the building to Jen's car.

" What did I tell you about running like a maniac to my car honey?" Jen lectures you.

" Jenny Poo it's the middle of the day and I know how to look both ways before crossing," you say as you get into her car, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek.

" You gotta stop with the nickname "

" Never will Jenny Poo"

" Wait til you see what my contact name is for you honey," she mumbles to herself, while you buckle up.

" It better be something with the word ' the best' Jen"

" Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh sure," she says as she drives the both of you to the mystery location for the date. Jen was happy to see your smiling face, singing along to the playlist that you made after the second time Jen had given you a ride in her car and she had nothing playing.

Sing-alongs, talks of snacks, and more stops than Jen needed and the both of you were at the location, the older woman making sure to cover your eyes with a blindfold to take you to the surprise.

" I can close my eyes, Jen, cmon now," You while as she places the blindfold over your eyes.

" While I trust you with that baby," she starts off," this is something special I planned for you".

At what Jen said, you let Jen lead you to the location, holding her hand and humming a tune to calm her down as she's very bad at being calm around you, and at this moment the woman needed it.

After a couple more minutes of silence, Jen smiles as the both of you arrive at the far side of the park and she places you at the front of what she set up for this date.

" Are you ready for me to take off the blindfold?"

" Been waiting Jenny," you joke with her which earns an eye roll from her.

" Call me Jenny again and watch what happens when we fuck later tonight," she says sternly to you which as always, makes you shut up right away. She slowly takes off the blindfold and you are met with one of the most beautiful dates set ever, so full of flowers around the gazebo, in the middle a table full of your favorite foods that you never thought Jen would ever remember and it made you tear up a little.

" Oh god" she freaks out as she sees you start to cry," I knew this was too much, baby I didn't mean to overwhelm you my bad-"

Jen is surprised at the surprise kiss, her brain all over the place before realizing this was a happy kiss and leaning into you, not caring who passes by to see what she had planned for you.

" Fuck," you say as you pull away, to see that Jen was also starting to tear up, something you never saw from her.

" Are those happy tears Jenny? Never thought I'd see the day you cry".

" I never thought that I'd find anyone as amazing as you my little y/n, someone who makes me hopeful for a future," she says before you give her another kiss back.

She never thought in all of her years, someone would make her heart grow a bit, make her realize that someone like her would find any sort of love but she was very grateful to have found you that fateful day at the bar.

[this-is-all-unreal]

My Dear Friend

Part 11

Masterlist

    I never realized how quickly time passes when things are going well. It's almost cruel that time seems to move slower when you are experiencing something unpleasant. Dick trying to teach me how to do a backflip is one of those times when time seems to move slower. 

     "Just bend your back, no not like you are trying to touch your toes. like this, make a bridge." He says as he bends backwards effortlessly. I didn't understand how someone could bend like that. 

     "I don't think I can do that. What if my back breaks or my legs or something." I say as I sit on the blue gymnastics mat he's laid out on the floor of the gym. 

      "You won't break anything, come on. If I can teach Jason I can teach you." He says pulling on my arm to get me to stand on my feet. The mental image of Jason trying to do a flip in his creepy red mask while double fisting pistols gave me a pretty good laugh but I didn't think it was funny for too long because the idea of a 6'4 200lbs man jumping through the air while shooting wildly sounded down right terrifying the more I thought about it.

       "I don't need to know this. When has a backflip ever helped you?"

        "It helped me pick up a girl once." He says with a big grin. I attempted the back bend but my arms gave out and I fell on the top of my head. 

      "That was pretty close!" He was always so supportive even when he probably shouldn't be. We practiced for what felt like forever till I was rescued by Tim telling us Bruce wanted to talk to everyone. 

      We were all gathered in the living room closest to the front door. Bruce had a few suitcases with him. I was scared he was going to tell us we were going on another camping trip.

      "I know this is short notice but Alfred needs to help some old friends in England and I'm going as well to lend a hand." 

       "I thought I told you I could handle it, Master Bruce." Alfred said as he walked past the archway, suitcases under each arm. They had a very polite disagreement for a few seconds before Alfred gave up on trying to change his mind. 

        "Dick you are in charge of Margaret and Tim. Jason don't give Dick a hard time. It's only going to be a few days." Bruce says as he hands off his suitcase to Alfred who seems very eager to get going. 

      Bruce pulled Dick aside and whispered something to him. After Bruce and Alfred said their goodbyes and left for the jet. Jason walked off heading to his room and Tim followed up after him.

      "Ohh while the cats away the mice will play. How far is the closest casino do you think?"

      "Wait, we should get around for tonight. We are going to be majorly shorthand without Bruce." Dick said, calling up to the boys. 

       "We can't all patrol tonight. Who's gonna keep her from sticking a fork in an outlet or something?" Jason asked as he pointed down at me. Dick looked over at me for a second before smiling. 

     "She's gonna come out with us."

     "What?" Both Jason and I ask at once. 

     "Yeah. Bruce has been throwing something together for her. You know just in case." Bruce had said I wouldn't have to go onto the family business if I didn't want to. Has he been expecting me to change my mind about it? 

      "No offense Margaret but this is a horrible idea." Tim chimed in as he started to walk back down the stairs. 

      "I can be left home alone, you guys know that right?" It wasn't like I was completely helpless. I'd probably just sleep the whole time. They were completely over reacting. 

        "Yeah, you tell them. With them gone we can see which part of the house burns the fastest."

 ��      "Stop it Felix, that's not funny." Normally I'd ignore him in public so I didn't look crazy but I had to nip this in the bud or he might just try. 

       "That's why you can't be left home alone. Bruce doesn't want you alone for too long with Felix." How long had that been the plan? I wish I hadn't heard that now I'm going to feel like none of them actually want to hang out with me. Dick seemed to realize his mistake quickly. "Not that he thinks Felix is dangerous. He is worried about Felix getting lonely. Ideal hands and what not."

       "Nice save." Jason sneered.  

      "He was thinking the name Magpie suited you well." Dick says as he opens the glass display case.

      "See they are expecting me to act up. Who am I to disappoint."

Everyone went down to the batcave. It hasn't changed much since I was here for the first time. Tim and Jason grabbed their suits to get change. On the very end next to the old Batgirl suit was a black, white, and blue suit. It looked like it had some built in armor to it. It had a long cape that connected to the arms. It was mostly black with accents of white. The underside of the cape was a blueish green. It came complete with a black domino mask. 

       "Do I get a suit? I'm going to be the one doing all the work."

      "I know Bruce is going to be disappointed he couldn't come out with you on your first night but I think he'll understand." I didn't want to do this but what could I do? Run hide? They would just catch me and drag me along. 

         "Please, I want to stay home. I'll sleep the whole night, don't make me go!" Begging couldn't hurt. Dick is a pushover. He frowned for a second but then handed me the suit. 

         "You are going to do great. You are gonna be with me all night. Nothings going to happen." Does he think I'm scared I won't do a good job? I'm scared I'm going to get killed. 

         Against my better judgment I get changed and meet the boys around the Batmobile. 

        "Wow you look um..." Tim was quickly cut off by an elbow in his side courtesy of Dick. "You look great." He finishes trying to cover for himself. The armor in the suit made me look so bulky and the domino mask had a small point at the nose making me look like I was some kind of buff bird.

        "Why is my cape connected like this?" I flap my arms around trying to demonstrate the issue. 

        "It's so if you let go of your grappling hook you can open your arms and glide rather than plummet to your death."

         "Jason what the hell don't say that!" Tim yells.

         "Should I lie to her? I almost dropped my hook the first night it happens." 

       "No no, the cape is not for that. Magpies are birds so you have wings. That's it, don't listen to Jason." Dick says looking proud he covered for Jason's bluntness so artfully. I didn't buy a word of it. 

       "Okay Jason you and Tim go south we will take north. If you run into anything that looks even remotely suspicious give the directions over the coms and we will be there. We play it safe and slow tonight. Worst case scenario I use this." Dick pulls out a watch. "The big guy himself gave it to me. He said it emits a frequency only he can hear. One press of this button and he'll be there."  

      "Whoa no way!" Tim exclaimed looking at the watch. 

       "I know right he gave it to-" the fan boying was interrupted by Jason revving the motor of his bike. 

      "Let's get this show on the road guys." He pulls on his mask and speeds out of the cave. Tim puts his helmet on cursing under his breath and gets on his own bike to chase after him. 

       "I'm so glad you're my partner tonight." Dick unlocks the Batmobile and we drive to the north end of the city. After parking we take to the rooftops. I had to cling to Dick for dear life as he used his grappling hook to climb the build. 

       Heights didn't bother me as much as I thought they would. After being carried by superman over Gotham City a roof top was nothing. Dick was pretty quiet. I could tell he took this all very seriously. The night was mostly calm. Dick would move us around a bit and stopped a few muggings but aside from that the streets were quiet. Tim and Jason seemed to be having a similar night. The sound of the police radio was starting to make me a bit edgy. Dick never let me out of his sight even when stopping muggers he'd look up to the rooftop to make sure I was still there. 

        "They still don't trust you. Can't say I blame them, I wouldn't trust you either. If I kidnapped someone there would be no way I'd let them out again." Felix was getting a tad antsy as well. 

        There was a crash on one of the bridges, something about laughing gas and clowns. The handheld radio came alive with chatter. Jason and Tim had already made it over there but Dick had to be careful when moving with me. He couldn't swing from buildings the way he normally could. We were miles from the Batmobile. He stops on another rooftop and looks down at me. 

      "I need to get over there. Can I leave you here? Just stay put and stay out of sight please." He sounded so worried it was hard not to agree. He was gone just as fast. He swung off into the distance becoming a small dot on the horizon. 

       "Wanna play tic-tac-toe?" I ask Felix as I sit down on the roof and use my finger to push around the dirt to make a board for us. 

         "Do I look like I want to play tic-tac-toe? Let's go see what's happening. I'm bored to tears up here." 

           "I can't leave if I wanted to. I can't use this thing." I say as I hold out the hook. 

      "Stand up, I'll get us down." I didn't like how that sounded but he wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize his existence at least not without provocation. So I nodded and stood up. 

      "Now what?"

     "Do you trust me?"

      "Sometimes." 

      "Just don't scream." I hear him move behind me. My feet started to lift from the roof. Before I knew it I was being dangled by my arms in the air. I stay as loose as I possibly can. I could feel hands under my armpits floating me up and over. Slowly I was lowered onto the street below. My feet touch solid ground again and my arms fall to my sides.

      "I didn't know you could do that!"

     "I wasn't sure I could either but that's a good trick to have up our sleeve eh?"

     I started to walk in the direction I saw dick swing off in. I wasn't sure where I was going but I figured I'd know when I was getting close. I ran past an alley and heard some kind of laughter coming from it. 

       "Stop" Felix said flatly as he pulled on my cape. I looked back at him to see what he wanted. "Something is down there."

       "So? It's a dark alley alot of things could be down there!" I say as I yank my cape away. Felix normally didn't get fixated on something like this. It sent a chill through me when the laughter seemed to get closer. Out of nowhere Felix started to laugh a little. 

        "Something isn't right." He said as he chuckled it was eerie to say the least. I started to fumble with my tool belt and found a small flashlight. I pulled it out and shined it down the alley. A man with his back turned to me was just standing there. He swayed a little as he stood. His outfit seemed familiar. It looked to be a tacky purple suit of some kind. I knew this wasn't good. I pressed my finger into my ear like I saw Dick do but I realized I wasn't even given a com. It was like a nightmare. Feeling so helpless all the while Felix was still laughing like a mad man. The police radio said there was some kind of laughing gas. Maybe this guy needs some help.

         "Hello?" I call out softly as I take a step closer to the tacky man. My heart pounded in my chest so fast it felt like if not for this armor on my chest it would leap right out. "Sir? Can I call someone?"  I froze in place. I didn't want to get within grabbing distance but he wasn't responding. I wasn't sure what to do.

[dreaming-of-the-end]

echoes, saltwater, lemon juice (or: a lesson in pressing bitterness into wounds): Kam

A/N: In which i give them the unhealthy relationship they deserve <3 Love these babies. Hi @pissy-victorian-vampire, I’m your secret santa! you said angst of any sort soooo...

Summary:

Keefe leans forward, places his hands on either side of Tam's legs and presses their lips together, quick, warm. "I'm sorry about that." He's not.

"You're not," Tam says.

TW: kissing? there’s a brief mention of physical violence. also, death mention. and mental illness.

Taglist: @steppingonshatteredglass @real-smooth @sunset-telepath @melanie-schmelanie  @stardustanddaffodils @jaxtheoraliestanner  @song-tam @turquoise-skyyyy @completekeefitztrash @wu-marcy  @saintashes  @rune-and-rising @lavender-and-rainy-days @chasteliac @confusedamphibian @hellomyfriends @cadence-talle @kai-i-guess @callas-starkflower-stew @a-harmless-poison  @professionalwhalewatcher @theogony @gay-otlc @confuzzled-fox @almostfullnerd @athenswrites @synonymroll648 @squishmallow36 @xanadaus

"It burns you sometimes, doesn't it?" Keefe twists his paper napkin so tightly it rips, shreds of the stained white scattering over his black pants. "The memory, I mean."

He doesn't have to ask what he means. "Like lemon juice. Like saltwater."

Keefe's fingers trace the grainy wood of the restaurant table with difficulty, the surface probably still sticky from the syrup-soaked pancakes he'd finished less than five minutes previously. "Like echoes?"

Tam stays silent. His hands are at his sides: he's never liked the cheap fast food places, preferring the clean-cut elegance of his own kitchen over screaming children and food he can't trust. More than that, it's the effect of it all: the bright lights in his eyes, the under-flavored over-sugared food, the lack of privacy, the smack of chewing gum coupled with the constant thrumming of the kitchen fridge, the tacky orange booth seats that stick to his skin.

And this conversation is too rich for the mediocrity of his surroundings. There's must still be something to be said about nights under the stars in a clearing in the woods, or perhaps a dock in the middle of the ocean, or floating in space, filled with the possibility of nothing and everything all at once. These words don't belong here. But Keefe does—not in a way to call him cheap or tacky, but in a bright, everything-everywhere-all-at-once kind of way. He's everything loud, everything bright, everything overwhelming.

"You need the reminder," Keefe says, resolute, as stuck in his self-righteousness as Tam's fork is to the syrupy table. "It's not over, Tam."

"Can't it be done? Can't it have died with her?" Tam feels the warm scent of unwashed bodies brush his skin. He wasn't made for this.

"You know that you did this to yourself."

And he hates Keefe for saying it. He hates him more than anyone, with an overwhelming catastrophic desperation that makes the entire world fade away, because it's always been that way with him. Keefe is simple and complicated in a terrifying, tell-me-who-i-am-and-i-won't-like-the-answer kind of way.

You know you did this to yourself.

Add that to his list of mistakes. Along with falling in love.

...

Tam might have physical echoes, but Keefe's are just as tangible.

The thing is, it's impossible to measure who has it worse (not that it stops him) when Tam's power is the thing attacking him night after night, while Keefe's mind is the only thing holding him hostage.

He's been there during attacks, of course. The times Tam loses himself in nightmares and his shadows come to life on the walls, shadowflux taking physical form to rake scratches into the mellow blue wallpaper Keefe handpicked for their bedroom, foggy condensation dripping from the ceiling onto the sunny yellow sheets of their bed. Their room is falling apart around them, and Keefe can't lie. He doesn't lie anymore.

It's his fault. Tam's.

His fault for choosing to learn shadowflux at all. Umber's journals taught him to weave shadow arrows and knives, rend apart concrete as if it's paper, bring objects crashing down when they're trying to sleep.

It's his fault. But he knows the way it burns. Lemon juice, saltwater, the sting of a frown and the twinge of hate. He knows burning like his own name.

So he knows regret. It calms him somewhat, to know that it was his own fault that he has these nightmares. At least he doesn't have to deal with blaming Tam.

Every day, he sees her: light auburn hair pulled into a bun tight enough to stretch the scars on her face that he'd given her. Right before he ended that light in her cold eyes, the ones that live on in his own face.

Gisela is trapped in his mirror. He has to live with the knowledge that every day, she might escape.

Every time he stares into it, meets his own eyes (her eyes) he feels her a little more. The burning of hate, of the fight with Dimitar and the salt of the ring in his wound. Sophie's desperate eyes, tear filled with prepared grief, because she knew then who he is now, and it destroyed both of them. And so he lost her.

Keefe plays that moment in his mind over and over, but he can’t come up with a version where she doesn’t learn who he is, what he is. He can’t come up with a version where she doesn’t leave him.

Sophie was right to mourn him then. Didn't that make it better when he died? When his mother killed him every way but physically?

...

Tam does not know who they want him to be.

It's a game of fear and choices, both of which he has learned from a schoolbook, studying the art of it.

This is fear: when your nightmares come to life, when your partner clutches at your arm because his mother formed from shadows made real, when the ghosts take physical form and you are powerless to stop them because you learned too well how to make them and not enough of how to send them away.

This is choice: to leave or to stay, to live or to die, how to run and how to love, how to unpack his clothes into drawers or how to make promises and keep them, how to leave one for another, to trust in his safety and let those he loves leave his sight to go with another.

And it's an art, along the lines of painting or singing or the poems he scribbles in his private journal. A love letter to terror, asking it to please stop calling because I'm happy now, I promise I'm happy, I don't need you anymore. All these lies.

He knows lying better than fear. Better than choices.

Tam knows lies, like the ones he tells himself. Like it was my fault (trying to convince himself) when it's not. It wasn't.

It was his fault. Keefe's.

Because he picked up Umber's journals for him, memorized every word to make the shadows leak into Keefe's head correctly, twisted his own insides around to keep him safe.

He would do it all again, of course. Every time, he's the one to lose himself in the glory of being a shield: Linh's protection, Sophie's rock, Keefe's last shred of common sense. It's him who makes the sacrifice, him who chooses to be exiled, to join the Neverseen, to give bits and pieces of himself away in a bargain that cancels out the danger instead of fixing it. He’s a bandaid on a gaping wound.

So perhaps this is fear: when you've given enough of yourself away to not recognize your shadowed eyes when you see them in the mirror.

Perhaps this is choice: whether to go on as half a person, or steal yourself back and take some of them with you.

...

"It drowns you sometimes, doesn't it?" Keefe watches Tam's legs swing back and forth on the countertop, and presses his hands against the cool marble. The chill is a tether and a knife cutting him free from his body. "The anger, I mean."

Tam considers this. Or, he puts on his Thinking Face, the one where his head tilts to the side and his eyes get all wide and his mouth comes open just a little bit, waiting for the spark to come through the space and light an idea in his head. It takes him a little while to form an answer, and when it does, it comes slow, tight with guilt. "Of course."

Keefe leans forward, places his hands on the counter on either side of Tam's legs and presses their lips together, quick, warm. "I'm sorry about that." He's not.

"You're not," Tam says.

He likes the anger, and Tam knows it. The day the two of them stop being angry about what happened to them is the day they turn into their parents and start being angry about what other people are doing and thinking and saying. It has to go somewhere. They have to go somewhere.

Keefe shrugs. He's less furious and more simmering these days. He paints it, his anger, the coolness of ice and piercing eyes. They stare at him always, worse at night, worse with Tam's shades bringing his mother back to life like she hasn't been dead for nearly three years. "You're not, either."

"No," Tam agrees, and this time it's him who moves forward to kiss him. His breath is warm against Keefe's cheeks, and he uses that warmth to center himself. Cold at his palms, heat on his lips.

See, he wishes he can tell his mother, I can still feel. Killing you didn't break me.

Tam did, though. Broke him apart and remolded him. For the better, maybe, or for the worse, probably. With a fire in the pit of his stomach like the throwing star he'd landed in hers. He hates him a little for that: for making him a new version of himself that he doesn't entirely like.

It's an attack, Tam's hands on his cheeks, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb, pulling him closer, threading through the tangles of his hair like he's not a boy made of lemon juice, of saltwater, of echoes. An attack because of how much it hurts, in his lungs and blood and bones, as Tam's palms warm his icy skin and Tam's lips part his own and Tam's eyelashes brush against his cheek with their closeness.

Keefe writes his own name in the fog in the mirror after he showers so he doesn't forget it.

He lets himself forget it now.

[streetcornertwoam]

15 people, 15 questions

Tagged by @eriquin

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope, definitely not...lol. I know I've asked before why they chose my name, but I don't honestly remember. I think it basically just boils down to, my mom saw the name in a baby book and liked it *shrugs* Y'know...since this was before every other goddamn person was named 'Kelsey' lmao

2. When was the last time you cried?

Um...not that long ago, honestly. Like...a day or so maybe? I don't know, haha. But like...really really cried...also probably not that long ago, but I don't know. I feel like anymore I cry pretty easy

3. Do you have kids?

Nope, and it's gonna stay that way. I'm more than happy to remain the cool aunt

4. What sports do you play/have played?

I never really played sports. I like...very briefly did volleyball, but didn't stick with it. And likewise I did also golf a bit for a while, 'cause my dad. But...he's also the reason I quit lmao So *shrugs*

5. Do you use sarcasm?

The urge to use sarcasm to answer this is strong, but...I shall refrain.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes, I think.

7. What’s your eye color?

Blue.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I do enjoy scary movies, but I'm a sucker for happy endings.

9. Any talents?

....no? Not to be like...self-deprecating or whatever, but I really don't think so. Not like...the typical 'oh I'd show this off in a talent show' or something. I can....type fast...haha

10. Where were you born?

Illinois, USA

11. What are your hobbies?

I don't...really have any? That's not entirely true, but like...I don't know. I enjoy painting sometimes, but I just don't ever really have the...opportunity to do so anymore. Similar with reading.

12. Do you have any pets?

One cat, her name is Cocoa and she's very cute. She's also getting older, and it makes me so sad 'cause I feel like it won't be long til she's gone and then I won't have a cat anymore, and....I gotta stop thinking about it or I'll start crying ajdklf;

13. How tall are you?

5'4

14. Favorite subject in school?

Probably English. Not because I was ever super good at it (as you can probably tell), but I don't know...more the reading than the grammar of English. I did also take a class my freshmen yr of high school that was Creative Writing. I adored that class. And senior yr I had another class that was called Novels, also really loved that class. It actually got me back into liking to read books, so...it worked out that it was a class I did not sign up for, but got put in anyway, and I didn't want to ruin my schedule by switching to a different class. Sometimes laziness pays off ha

15. Dream job?

I...honestly don't know. Something that allows me to have as little interaction with others as possible ha. But yea...I really don't know. 'Cause like going back to painting. Let's say I got like...REALLY good at art, y'know. I...wouldn't want to make that a job I think. Similar to like...cooking. I can follow a recipe and stuff. I enjoy cooking/baking, but...I wouldn't want to do that for a job. I think it would suck all the enjoyment out of it for me. So I need something that I don't already like...super enjoy doing, so that I don't mind doing it but also so that it's not taking it away from me just...doing it in my spare time. ........yea I got nothing ha

Tagging: @zeldanoel @blowfishdiaries @theonevoice @runnerfivestillalive @moontosis @prideofyunmeng @thebandersnatchoftheshire @captainhaterade @sandraugiga @frumpybutsupersmart

Absolutely no pressure, if you don't wanna do this...totally fine, just ignore. And if you don't wanna be tagged in things like this for the future, just lmk I'm so sorry in advance. And also, if I didn't tag you, and you wanna do this...go for it! Just a bit of fun

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets: Bear in The Big Blue House Special (Share, Bear, When You Gotta Go, And a Berry Blue Christmas)

Welcome to big blue house, greetings from this large orangutan man. I'm Jake and this is muppets monthly, my monthly morsel of muppet madness comissioned by my good friend Emma. This months we're doing things a bit diffrently in two ways. The first is that this won't technically be monthly as we're doing TWO for you! This article and a suprise one i'll announce at the end of this one that's a big deal.

Neither however is what was previously announced in my last Monthly Muppets review: Follow That Bird. So for those of you who read these monthly, hopefully at least one of you but if not that's fine too, a quick explination: life happened while I was busy making other plans. And while normally that sets me back work wise and sometimes causes me to cancel reviews outright, here it was a good thing and a rare thing too: Disney actually put a show from the archives on disney+!

This is notable because while EVERY company hoards one or two shows and dosen't put them on streaming wether it's the plug another service, make money on tax writeoffs because their dickheads who somehow make disney look dignified, or

Disney is still one of the leaders in hoarding a decent amount of cartoons and a few other shows for no reason and has released them at a rate of

So when one finally happens, it's an event. Now to me this was neat, but not a huge thing, as while I love any muppet stuff getting published and this show had always seemed decent, I hadn't grown up with it the way many of you probably have and while I watched plenty of Nick JR as a kid even in elementary when nothing was on Cartoon Network, and geninely enjoyed some shows like Blues Clues i'm not ashamed to admit, I just never checked out playhouse Disney.

Emma however grew up with the show, and it was osmething she brought up any time I brought up the fact Disney realyl needs to pry open that vault. So since she pays for these I suggested covering a bunch of episodes, so I could experince the show myself since not being in the target Demo's never stopped me before. She agreed easily, and here we are.

For this I had her pick 4 episodes, since my usual going rate is 5 dollars an episode and since she was picking three (the equilvent of a movie) she got a fourth episode free. So I watched the Season 1 ep Share, Bear, the season 2 ep When You Gotta Go, and the Season 3 two parter a Beary Blue Christmas. What did I think of this very vibrant, mildly weird, show? find out under the cut.

Big Blue House Things

So before I get to the episodes themselves I wanted to break down my impressions on the shows style itself. I would break down it's history but I got VERY little: a little googling turned up nothing, and while the DefunctTV episode for Buzz Lightyear of Star Command was super helpful for that review, the episode for Bear in the Big Blue House, one of the few things I could find, only covered that it was made as part of Playhouse Disney, now Disney Junior's humble beginnings and was it's first big hit, and that the creator of the show wanted to make the show a calm peaceful place, the opposite of what he grew up in. So there you go.

Like most preschool shows, the show sticks to a very tight formula: after the very catchy theme song welcoming us to the blue house and everyone inside it, the titular bear, a kind, gentle fellow played by Noel MacNeal welcomes the viewer.. .then sniffs them

He then does something with one of the four children in his house. Naturally this being a kids show why Ojo the Bear (Vicki Ebner) , PIp and Pop future walter Peter Linz and Tyler Bunch) the twin otters, some sort of horrifying demon in the body of a lemur named Treelo who hangs out with Ojo lest it eat her soul,

Tutter (linz). I did far more thinking than is sane or acceptable on this topic to try and figure out who was actually living here, why they were all here if some of them have relatives, what the fuck Treelo is and if their going to kill me in my sleep while the last one will likely haunt me into madness, I did come up with the answers to

What's Bear's Legal Guardian Status For These Children

Ojo I assume is Bear's daughter, adopted or otherwise, who he shares custody with someone else, as she apparently sleeps over in one episode, so she dosen't apparently live there for whatever reason. Maybe he and her mother divorced, maybe she died and her grandparents take her on weekends, maybe hse does live there and they just played sleepover. I don't know, i'd have to watch more episodes. I"m going with Emma's suggestion for Tutter: that he just came with the house and while he does have a grandma and uncle, they may just not be able to take care of him full time or knew he was squatting in a big blue house, and let Bear adopt him. He is the only one fully confirmed to live in the house, as he has a tiny hole with a tiny toilet and everything. For the twins, I assume Bear simply looks after them: they do have grandparents who show up in the intro for the christmas ep and then in no other part of it and their otter pond is nearbye. My guess is since, according to wikipedia, the two run the town library, they need someone to look after their kids during the day and bear being basically jesus but a bear in both senses of the word, gladly does so. Finally we have Ojo, some ratty squeaky voiced nightmare. Picture elmos voiced but pitched up, on a mountain of cocaine and nigh incomprehinsible. If your not recoling in terror your stronger than I. Ojo I see as kind of like the collector from Owl House: a cosmic entity with the mind of a child. And as such while my reaction to her screeching voice and desire to take all things from everyone is

Bear is trying to raise her right so she dose'nt kill us all one day. He truly is our own personal jesus. Our star jesus given his parents are the sun and the moon. Don't ask questions.

Anyways after that cul de sac…

Back to the Formula

So bear usually visits shadow, a living shadow whose owner.. died I guess? I don't know, but she and bear are close friends and she might have a thing for him given she gives him a smooch in the christmas ep. We'll never know. Shadow usually brings a video for bear, they watch it , and she saunters off. I like shadow a lot being adorable, kind and energetic.

Bear will then get back to the topic/problem of the day, stuff sure does happen, then we end the episode with Bear visiting what I assume to be his mom the Moon as she's known him his whole life. Otherwise it's just creepy. He recaps the episode, they sing an adorable goodbye song and now you knwo the plot. IT's simple and while it got a tad repetitious after four times, though the christmas ep helped with it's serious overarching story, I get that younger kids LOVE repetition as much as Bear loves honey, and that this seris ultimately wasn't aimed at grown men. It's perfectly lovely to watch, having great puppetry, fun characters aside from that thing lurking in the dark waiting to summon it's brothers the lords in black, and beautiful music. It's just aimed at a much younger audience and wasn't made with multidemographic appeal in mind like most cartoons I watched. It was made to edcuate and soothe young children without talking down to them, with a calm wise mentor doing so. It does that excellently. As for what I thought about each episode and what dumb jokes I can make about each episode… let's see

Share, Bear (Season 1)

Share Bear follows Bear as he collapses finding out the tragic bloody history of Bear Sauske's older brother while he prepares to burn the world and Ojo, realizing she can't fix his bloody path, prepares to sacrifice herself ot kill him. Oh wait tha'ts something else i've been consuming. No this one follows the kids as they have various squabbles Bear breaks up through compromise getting them to share. The first is Ojo and Mouthface, the beast of a thousand nightmares, who are arguging as Green Machine wants to consume Snow Bear, Ojo's cuddly toy. Bear uses a game I swore he was making up but didn't, snow bear in the woods, to get them to share.. and to teach Ojo not to consume the innocent I assume.

Next up is Tutter who makes a big sandwich that sure looks good. Bear wants to eat it, but Tutter says no so like the cool dude he is, Bear backs off. Pip and Pop, being two little schemers, do not back off and keep pressuring tutter. Bear, not getting boundaries forces Tutter to share, but agrees to get Pip and Pop to share their apples. As you can see i'm not really fond of this one as while I belivie sharing is nice, sometimes your stuff.. is just your stuff. Like a sandwich that probably took you two hours to make because your a tiny little guy. It's okay to OFFER to share and good too, but you shoudln't force it on someone.

Finally he has to break up a fight between all four as they all want the attic, because to a kid the attic is either spooky as hell and full of crown molding spiders… or the coolest place ever and full of crown molding and spiders. Bear gets them to visit the picnic, all is well, this episode is pretty good. The next two are better but it has a simple lesson it mostly dosen't botch. It is nothing however compared to the next episode which is paticuarlly famous why…?

When You Gotta Go (Season 2)

BECAUSE THIS ONE'S ABOUT THE BATHROOM

… i'm not exaggerating. This one has Bear teaching kids about the potty. They use the term potty more than your average episode of Rugrats. It is everywhere. It's valid for the target audience and done with care, teaching kids not to hold it and that accidents happen to everyone. And look i'm not usually a big toilet humor guy.. but a bear singing about the potty for two minutes broke me. I suppressed a laugh so hard not because I had to but because my mother who works from home (and yes who I live with at 30), was downstairs and can hear it when I laugh loudly as this deserved. There's also Shadows song which is just singing about how good the potty is. This episode wasn't OUTLOUD hilarious but it's hard not to.

Like I said though the aseop is well done and relatable even at 30: Everyone's held it for stupid reasons, everyone had an accident as a kid (and sometimes as an adult when your sick), and it's valid to tell little kids that you NEED to just take a break and pee when you gotta or that if you miss the toilet it happens as long as you tried, and HOW to go about both things. It's not something that really takes a lot of depth and nuance from me to disect, but it's well done tv and I can see why this stuck with emma.

Despite the subject I can't even riff on it TOO much as it meant well and was trying to edcuate kids. Sure hearing that "your mom and dad" had a potty made me giggle like a child, but MOSTLY this episode avoids any sort of weird stuff.

That being said.. there is one thing we have to talk about in detail: Bear's toilet. Now he has a toilet sized for Ojo, for the otters, and one in tutter's mousehole. A little guy toilet. But as far as I can tell the rest of the bathroom is not sized for bear. And bear is well.. bear sized. Like the puppet is a guy in a full body suit. It's how he showed up on many things including hollywood squares, which I will HAVE to review next year as a clip of one ep he was on showed it also featured Macho Man randy savage. I never knew Randy Savage interacted with a muppet, but now I do it's all I can think about.

Point is he's a big boy. At best if he poops in this toilet it's going to cause a disaster that goes down in the history books and my therapists notebook. I get as Emma postulated he's probably too polite to make a fus about it but it's his house. Just install a fourth toilet bear. The cleanup isn't worth it. We all love and worry about you bear! Quit shitting on a toilet too small for you! You deserve better! your raising four children and the spawn of chtulu. GET YORUSELF A GROWN BEAR TOILET.

Or maybe he poops in the woods. I dunno. Solid episode. Could've used one more song.

A Berry Blue Christmas

Our last ep for today is a great one and a Christmas one. Yes it creeps in earlier every year don't it?

This episode got way more serious than I was expecting.. and it's not like say, the bear gets scabies and the kids all have to deal with the ramifications, it's more that it tackles an issue I didn't expect a show for toddlers to tackle, but one i'm glad it does and does so with maturity, grace and civility some shows meant for way older viewers lack on the topic: homelessness.

The episodes center around Jack, an elderly dog who Bear finds howling in the woods and takes in, and who turns out to be of course homeless. It's done well with the kids being confused and shocked and poor tutter being terrified by the idea, even singing a whole song about it complete with an utterly heartwrenching black and white vision of a homless tutter worrying if his friends can find him. Bear assures him of course he'll always have a home here, but it's still sobering and tackles what most kids probably would feel at that age realizing this is a thing that happens and it's horrible.

It's also nice just how much compassion the show has: not suprising, it's a very lovely show, but it shows that someone whose homeless is what they are: just a person without a home struggling to get by and who needs warmth and love. Jack consequently is a good boy, being kind to the kids, and fine they didn't get him a gift as gladly welcoming him into their home, feeding him and including him in thier activities is enough, and he even helps the kids make a present for bear as they didn't know what to get the man who has everything. The story was all out of alien dream plants.

Another thing I can give the show over MANY adult shows tackling the same topic… is that they DON'T just abandon Jack after this episode. While he gets a happy ending, Doc Hog, a local hog I swore was the show gaslighting me when they opened with half a dozen characters we hadn't seen before, many ff whom barely factor into the episode or in the case of tip and tup's grandparents, not at all, adopts him and gives him a home, he dosen't just vanish. Looking into it he shows up at least once next season running the fire station. Most episodes that do an aseop tend to forget the character exists for convivences sake but it took a show aimed at toddlers to realize "Hey people will notice this person vanished".

Jack is also played by David Goetz, aka Gonzo, and I had to look up who as while Goetz uses that voice a decent amount, I didn't know who did it exactly. I did recognize it from this threatning pig who lives rent free in my head though.

The special also welcomes all holiday cultures. While primarily about christmas, like most specials at the time it also covers Hannukah and Kwanza. I honestly miss that and wish more shows would do more than just christmas, with The Ghost and Molly McGee being the only one in recent memory I can think of. If you know more please feel free to tell me. Nothing wrong with christmas, as my usual holiday deluge of reviews will show, it's just said deluge also shows it's the most covered of any holiday and there are others like ramadan that have'nt gotten a special i'm aware of. The songs are both for diffrent holidays and it's nice.

We also have bears own bearcentric tradition the winter berry hunt, a hunt for one berry based on a bear long ago finding only one berry and splitting it. It's also how jack gets a home as the twins use their wish for him because he's a very good boy.

Some final notes the twins ask for millions and millions of clams in the christmas gift asking song. THEY NEED CLAMS, INFINITE CLAMS, CLAMS TO DROWN OUT THE SCREAMS AS THEY BUILD THEIR CLAMOCRACY. THE FUTURE. IS. CLAM.

Also the Goodbye Goodbye song includes, depsite it's joyful tone, homeless tutter and the kids worrying about not having a present for jack. I couldn't stop laughing

Finally we have our ranking as thanks to Letterboxd having this special, I can include it in our list along with the toilet episode since they both had vhses!

So that's goodbye goodbye from me, and i'll see you pretty soon I know… as next time we cover MUPPETS FAMILY CHRISTMAS. Muppets, Seasame Street, Fraggle Rock. All under one roof. Be there and thanks for reading.

[mystiika]

@cxldblxxded asked: ❛ How badly do you want me? ❜ ( normal k questions ) meme: subtle smut

just putting the whole thing under a read more at this point lol

adrian found himself seeking solace in some washroom too far from the commotion of the set for him to be found. he was exhausted. the shoot kept being delayed by his unfortunate co-star — a woman named michelle who chases as persistently after him as she is terrible at remembering her lines. she can act well enough if she even gets that far, but between that & her following after him like a lost puppy, it was no wonder adrian needed a break from it all. besides, its not like they'd need him back for another hour at this rate. but already he was half past 10 & he'd already missed his dinner with k. ❝ thanks for chatting with me. i called because i missed your voice but somehow i think this made it worse, ❞ he finally says, eyes closed as he leans his temple on the cool wall beside him. surely its silly how difficult he finds it to be away from k ( but he can't be bothered to care ). ❝ buuut, ❞ his eyes open again as a small smirk upticks the corners of his mouth, ❝ i can think of a way you can help me miss you a little less.... hey, baby, what are you wearing right now? ❞ even though he knows k won't clue in yet. ❛ clothes. ❜ comes k's simple answer. ❝ can you be more specific? ❞ adrian's tone inches towards sultry. ❛ oh, um— the red & yellow striped shirt with the buttons that you got, some blue jeans. fuzzy socks. ❜ ❝ i see. that's too bad. i was hoping you were wearing a little less, i want to listen to you touching yourself. is that okay? ❞ of course he knows it is, but he wants to hear k say it for himself. ❛ if i can listen to you as well, of course. ❜ ❝ well, that can be arranged. ❞ already he'd been using bluetooth, freeing up both his hands the moment he places his phone aside. his fingers deftly unbuckling his pants & adrian lets out a shuttered breath as he feels his cock hardening where he presses against it with his palm. ❝ come on, kandirarak, ❞ adrian draws out, slipping in a few toned sighs of his own sprinkled in. ❝ i want to hear every. little. noise. you make. ❞

adrian tugs his cock free from his boxers, leisurely stroking it to its full height, littering the almost silence with shaky breaths & moans. then among the sounds adrian heard coming from k's end, ❛ how badly do you want me? ❜ the words alone make his cock twitch with newly added pressure. ❝ terribly, ❞ he breathes. ❝ i want you so bad i can barely stand it... ❞ adrian's almost whimpering, playing up his desperation ( but only barely ), ❝ i want your lips on mine... your teeth on my neck... your weight pressing me against whatever surface you want. ❞ just talking about it was already turning him on. ❝ don't you want to make me feel good, baby? ❞ he eggs himself on. ❝ because i want you to, ❞ adrian adds, almost like he's begging. ❝ i wish you were here... kissing me senseless, & touching me. god i want you to touch me right now... i'd move your hand onto my dick, & put my hand one yours so we could jerk each other off, maybe while you suck on my chest... ❞ his own hand sliding under his shirt to grope his peck, rubbing & pinching his nipple while he pictures k doing it with his teeth & tongue. ❝ just hearing your voice, your breathing, your moans... fuck... you sound so hot... ❞ as if adrian wasn't 10x as noisy. ❝ i want to make you feel good too though, i can't have all the fun... so... if i was there... i'd get on my knees in front of you, keep your cock still with one hand while i lick every inch. you could probably feel a hum while i moan too. i bet its hot knowing i could get myself off just from touching myself a bit while i suck your cock, hm? i'd take it into my mouth... ❞ hand abandoning his chest in favour of sticking a couple fingers into his past his lips, playing with his tongue & sucking on them, the sound just clear enough for k to catch. ❝ & i keep going until i can feel you hitting the back of my throat, pulling back only to drop back down until your cock was right back where it belongs, with your hand in my hair to keep me in place until you're satisfied with me. ❞ he didn't think hearing himself talk would turn him on so much but here he was, on the verge of coming just from thinking about k. ❝ fuck... ❞ its airy, almost inaudible, but k knows better than anyone what that kind of whine that was. ❝ k, i think i'm gonna come... ❞ he could only hope that the sounds k was making was a warning off his own, but either way, k's moans send him over the edge, adrian's voice a mix of moans of his own, breathing jagged as he rides out his high, milking every last second as he listens to k on the other edge. then after a few long seconds of just breathing, adrian breaks the silence. ❝ i was right, that did make me feel better. ❞ smile, evident by his tone. then, almost a whisper as if someone would somehow hear him, ❝ ...is it bad i want to just slip out of here & come home? i dont know how much longer i can take michelle ruining another take because she doesn't know her lines. ❞ he almost groans, but would rather avoid getting worked up again. ❝ you know what... let me see if i can track down my manager, see if he can get me out of it somehow... i'll talk to you in a bit, love you, bye !! ❞ then about 4 minutes later, in a text : mission success. i'll be home in 30 🥰🥰🥰

[phobophile-psychiatrist]

The Quinzel Effect

When I buzzed, you could hear her squeal through the glass wall. I opened the door to a-- kind of dressed Harleen.

"Heya, Jonny! Whatcha doin' down here? Come to gossip? Or play doctor?"

"Harley, how you doin'? I'm actually here to ask some questions."

"Oh," Harleen chuckled, "Advice? Startin' to sound like Red."

I hesitated, "Eh, close, I s'pose. I wanna know sum about-- you."

Harley chuckled, "Hittin' on me? That's barely professional Dr. Crane!"

"Not like that, Harley," I approached the cell and pulled a metal chair away from the wall, "It's more about-- feelin'."

"Feelin'?" Harley was taken aback, "Jon, is this you trying to open up?"

"It workin'?"

"It's-- a start."

I sighed, "Fine, Crowley wants me to be more-- honest. I don't know where to start."

"And?"

"I wanna know why she-- I don't know how to phrase it."

"Cares?" Harley folded her arms, sitting down on her bed, "Loves you?"

"You think she-"

"Think? Don't you also have a psych degree?"

"I ain't ever been good at-- this kinda stuff. At least, regardin' me."

"What did Eddie say to you?"

"Wha' d'ya mean?"

"You wouldn't voluntarily come down here, Jonny."

I scoffed, "He didn't say nuthin'."

"He told you to come to me because you feel like you're Crowley's Mista J, don'tcha?"

"That degree didn' go to waste."

"You're here because you wanna know why I loved Mister J, so you might know why Crowley loves you."

"Unhuh."

"Well, sorry, Jonny. I was a good-for-nuthin-outta-my-gourd-run-of-the-mill basketcase masochist who was manipulated into submission by a psychopathic sadist with a batman fetish."

"You think I manipulate her?"

"No, Mista J manipulated me," Harley laid on her side and propped her head up on her palm, "Crowley thinks you're a lot like her. It's different. She forgives ya, sure, but she doesn't think you're infallible."

"I don't understand."

"And I don't expect you to. That's somethin' you have to ask Crowley, not me."

"How do you-"

"You see how she looks at you? Remember that time in the cafeteria? When she pulled the straw off of you, or when she smiled at you while you were eatin'? A doctor doesn't care like that, a friend doesn't even care like that."

I averted my gaze from Harley's blue eyes.

"Tell me about Crowley and you. When she first came here, you two already knew each other for a long time, didn't ya?"

"GCU. She was in her early 20s."

"Oh, lots of history!"

"She was in my class," I chuckled quietly, "Top of it and everything. Two of us begin there, she would stay after class and even volunteer for whatever I needed help with. She loved to stick around. I remember she admired me then, which, for what I was doin' here, felt undeserved."

"What were you doing here?"

"I was revisiting fear toxin, experimenting alongside Strange on the concoction and some of his own projects." I sighed, "I was having some-- complications with Diane back then."

"Diane, your ex-wife?"

"Yeah," I leaned forward and folded my hands, "Crowley became the only real reprieve of my day, the only thing I looked forward to. Eventually, her being in my class grew somewhat scarce."

I brushed auburn hair back, "She was engaged to some-- boy, back then. William, I think? I don't remember. I remember her chasing him around like a little neglected puppy. He didn't give a damn about her. I won't deny I grew rather possessive of her by then-- I hated seeing her chase a kid that didn't have the balls to admit her relationship with her professor scared him."

I chuckled dryly, leaning back in the chair, "I kinda stalked the kid."

"This goin' where I think it's goin'?"

"Probably," I said, "I found out the boy was distancing himself from Crowley because he had another partner-- actually, Crowley had become a sidepiece to him. So I did what that itch in my mind wanted me to do."

"Oh, Scarecrow."

I nodded. "I took the boy to the barn for days. Kept him there. Injection after injection. He let me refine my toxin; he became my first mistake."

I sighed, pinching the skin between my eyes, "Crowley's friends got privy to the idea I may have had sum to do with it. A few approached me, sure, but Crowley never did."

"She had skeletons in her closet too though," I chuckled, "I mean, she knew where I lived-- where my barn was. Ion tell anyone where my barn is."

"Crowley's got a little stalker in her?"

I snickered, readjusting in my seat, "I s'pose."

"I guess Crowley's always had a thing for ya Jonny-boy."

I sighed, and massaged my temples, "But I came here to find out why."

Harley groaned loudly, "It's a feeling Jonny! You're literally a feelings doctor!"

"I'm a psychopharmacologist."

"You're a psychiatrist and a psychology professor!"

"Still more of a chemist."

"Yeah, a Fear Toxicologist."

I gave a dry chuckle.

"The satisfying answer you're lookin' for is somethin' you're gonna have to ask Crowley directly."

"You saw how I tried to ask you."

"Yeah, terribly."

"I can't just ask Crowley."

"You mean to tell me you can kiss her but not talk about your feelings with her?"

"How do you-"

"I can read, Jon," Harley snickered, "That woman writes everything online."

"I-"

"Jonny, talk to her when she gets back. For real, for once."

I sighed and stood up, "Well, it's been enlightening, Dr. Quinzel."

"Always a pleasure Jon-Jon," She chuckled, "And, quit bein' a stranger, wouldja?"

I gave a halfhearted smile and turned on my heel. "See you soon, Harley."

Notes, Harley Quinn: Good friend. Means well.

[from-dre]

The Value of Experience

I once knew a girl in high school who I admired very much. Her grades were consistently at the top of the class. She had a style all her own. Her bedroom walls were covered in magazine clippings and collages she'd spent long hours on. She didn't mind falling off a skateboard and scraping her elbow. Her creativity just shimmered through everything she did, no matter how small. She seemed like the model student. More so, the model friend. Then she started trying different things. Introducing different chemicals into her already-brilliant psyche. She figured that she may as well now, while she was still young and able. That—in her words—she'd like to have all these things "under her belt." It confused me. She already seemed perfect. Why the need to experiment if you've been blessed with so much? Stranger yet, her grades never suffered. They didn't dip once. Throughout all the psychedelics, pills, and whatnot—, she remained on top of her class. This confused me even more.

Long story short: she transferred schools and I never saw her again. I'd often think back to her free spirit and nonchalant attitude toward drugs and try to see the soundness therein. Her premise was probably that the more experiences one has, the more they'll have to draw from, hence, the more reliable their conclusions will be.

But I don't need to stick a needle in my arm and shoot up heroin to know it's bad for you. There are studies available. I've skimmed a few.

All sarcasm aside—there actually are people in this world who won't respect an iota of your opinion if you haven't done each and everything you're describing on a firsthand basis, multiple times over. Though, nobody reaches the top of the Empire State Building and needs proof that jumping toward the street below will be the worst—and last—mistake they'll ever make.

It's common sense. It's engrained into our DNA. Rationale; it's there to be used, often.

So why this elitist obsession with having as many things under one's belt as possible? They claim "enlightenment" as these would-be’s ingest handfuls of brightly technicolored capsules and listen to music so new that it hasn't even been assigned a sub-genre yet. These "brave" culture warriors teeter the edge which divides our mainstream from the scary wilderness beyond. They self-appoint themselves the true curators of cool but only because there is nobody else who cares enough to make such a huge production out of whatever the current flavor-of-the-week happens to be. Everyone else is gone. They've moved on. They grew brains and with them created goals, outlined plans, and just started taking those who chose to stay behind at their words.

"Oh..., too many counteractive drugs in your body will shut down your central nervous system?"

So I’ve heard.

"Oh..., you smoked three packs a day for twenty-some years and now you're bummed out by your test results?"

Hmm...

"Oh..., going through withdrawals really isn’t fun?"

Wow.

Opposite a posteriori, a priori knowledge is independent of experience.

If a privileged upper-middle class teenager who's been lucky enough to grow up in an environment where the realities of drugs could be observed through both those that litter the streets of his downtown and the internet at large, still needs further empirical evidence to fully commit to a conclusion, then I would venture to say that he is probably welcoming of all the misery he's plunging himself toward.

There are certain things in life that I don't need to experience on my own skin in order to label them a certain way. A priori knowledge. Anyone who sees this as whimpering away with fear is a masochist and can be my guest when it comes to trying "that new gasoline stuff.” My only guess is that people are forever trying to one-up each other. “You've tried the pink powder? Well I've tried the blue.” And so on and so forth. I don't admire this type of thinking. It gets you killed or at the very least, makes you extremely regretful. The one I admire is the third person looking at the two arguing with a look of bewilderment that shouts out: “Why?!”