#it only really registered with me that he´s looking at us on my like 4th rewatch or something with friends

[amyriadfthings]

I wonder if this is just foreshadowing the fourth wall break in the actual speech? I don´t think that´s all. Is it demonstrating that between us observing him in the mirror and the open curtains of the window behind him he´s still Crown Prince Wilhelm even in the privacy of his bedroom? He looks SO exposed in this shot. Even though the door of his room is closed he seems to have no privacy here, and he isn´t private Wille. (Which, seeing he´s in his bedroom, also reminds me of the queen working in what looked like pajamas, pointing to Future King Wille?) Is it showing us Wille finding a way later in his speech to break down the barriers between private Wille and official Wille and uniting them in front of the world? I love this show.

It's very interesting how they choose to show us Wilhelm rehearsing his speech into the mirror, and then have him look right at us

[shotorozu]

hellolololo!¡! so i recently saw this video where their

s/o goes on to omegle and the other person from omegle like goes “hi ur cute” or “u have snap?” and then their boyfriend just enters the frame,, can u do that to todobakudeku separately :3

if u dont understand u can check this out 😭 https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJdEqc7V/ tyy ❤️❤️

“ur kinda cute” on omegle

(tiktok prank)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (bnha)

part two — part three

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, crack — ‘x reader’

note(s) : i love these types of requests 🤩 so i plan on making 3 parts with this (oh and don’t worry, i’ll finish the other tiktok prank series i have going on at the moment)

also, there’s no proofread on this so if there’s any typos or mistakes, sorry! i’ll be editing them in the morning

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

todoroki shouto

okay so, the entire tiktok idea was planned— but the part where shouto came in surely wasn’t staged

so, being a curious young person— you wanted to make a tiktok, where you went on omegle just to speak to people for fun

and inside of your head, you’re kinda thinking that “this is dumb, omg im going to get flashed on there.” also while you were setting up your laptop

but you just used the appropriate tags and !! you were set off for an adventure

you set your phone aside, and you filmed most of the experience— cutting out the not so interesting encounters out of your tiktok

and then came on a dude, who had a,, unique reaction. he didn’t seem all that fishy— until he asked you for your snap (your social medias, essentially)

“you’re kinda cute, y’know. how did i not see you before?”

you shake your head, “oh no no! i appreciate your compliment, but i’m very much taken!” your mind immediately flashing back to the image of your icyhot boyfriend

“nahh you’re lying! i don’t see any dude back there”

oh,, and that was because shouto was out getting snacks 🧎 “no really dude, i appreciate it! i’m very much taken and being disloyal is out of the question!”

this dude just kept insisting and insisting, and due to the struggle— you weren’t able to hear the door knob jiggle

it seemed to be that his advances came to an end, and your lover made an entrance— a mop of red and white peaked out from the door frame

and the dude literally got scared and ended the conversation 💀 because you really weren’t lying!

you also figured that it was time to end your omegle shenanigans, and finish the tiktok— because your boyfriend was already there “hi love, who were you talking to?”

you closed your laptop, and offered him a smile “i was on omegle for a tiktok! i’m glad you’re back.” you discard your phone, wrapping your arms around his torso (and also making sure you don’t delete the draft)

shouto doesn’t say a lot, but he immediately accepts your touch, setting the groceries aside.

he doesn’t question the fact that you were on omegle because well,, he had to get used to your shenanigans on tiktok SOMEHOW

a few hours later, you posted the tiktok— and almost immediately, the tiktok gains a lot of attention

“i love how your boyfriend drove the last dude away 💀💀” “man the last dude didn’t take the hint 🗿” “your boyfriend indirectly protected you! we need more guys like him.”

you snicker at the comments, which ultimately gathered shouto’s attention “what’s up, love?”

you show him the tiktok, “the tiktok did well.” he’ll comment calmly, but shouto’s lowkey MAD ?? that a dude had the audacity. but he’s just glad that you’re happy just maybe,, don’t go on omegle anymore 💀

“love— next time, let me in on your tiktoks.” he says, running a thumb along your cheek lightly. because he was actually quite entertained, putting everything aside

bakugou katsuki

as if bakugou katsuki would let you go on OMEGLE, a place that’s known for having the sketchiest people to ever exist— but make it virtual

but being with you made him realize that well,, if you want to do something, you’ll go through lengths just to do it.

even the great bakugou katsuki can’t really stop you. whatever makes you happy— but oh, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t highly discourage it

which lead you to go on omegle for a tiktok in the other room, while bakugou exercised in the very next room.

when you told him that you wanted to film a tiktok, bakugou only shrugged— “don’t do overly dumb shit.” was what he only told you and he left the door open too

you then set up your phone and laptop, applied the appropriate tags— and went off to make your tiktok

you only filmed the interesting encounters, and the people you met on there were very diverse in personality and just,, in general.

after the 4th encounter, then came a rather interesting dude. he didn’t seem all that ordinary but he wasn’t spectacular. he was just nice

and the conversation was rather normal— until he started asking for your socials “putting everything aside, do you have social media? you’re really cute.”

you reject immediately, “oh no, i appreciate your words but— i already have a boyfriend.”

you just have to hope that he noticed bakugou walking back and forth with equipment, but with his next words— that doesn’t seem to be the case

“i didn’t see anyone back there, a simple no would’ve been sufficient instead.” uh oh

“no really, i—” and before things escalated, katsuki’s head peaked through the door frame, freshly out of the shower “are you almost done, idiot?”

the dude literally looked behind you, and thought “oh shit, their boyfriend is bakugou fucking katsuki.” because bakugou is famous for,, multiple different reasons

the dude’s camera shakes in terror, “oh uhm,, it was nice meeting you!��� not long before he dips from of the conversation, never to be seen again.

closing your laptop— you end the tiktok while bursting into laughter, and this action just confused katsuki ever further. he heard you speaking to someone, and when he looked, the person was nowhere to be seen

“what are you laughing at??”

“nothing katsuki, i was laughing at the tiktok i just made.”

then— you figured that it would be best to tell katsuki now that you were on omegle (long story short, he wasn’t pleased)

he scolded you that you shouldn’t be on omegle, but let’s be honest, he couldn’t stay mad at you— so he just cuddles the frustration away

when you upload the tiktok the following hours, it blows up pretty quickly—with comments like “LOL IS THAT BAKUGOU KATSUKI??” “he had guts until he saw bakugou katsuki 💀” “tbh i’d be scared too”

and when you report the news the katsuki, he smirks— “as he should be.”

midoriya izuku

at this point, izuku is very much used to your shenanigans on tiktok. he’s very supportive of whatever you do all in all

but, about omegle,,, yeah,, as much as he trusts you— he does not trust omegle. he’s aware that it’s a shady place, and he doesn’t advise that you do go on that website bc he cares

so when you brought up the tiktok idea, he proposed that he’d be there, right beside you just to monitor if anyone’s being weird :)

and that’s great! because you also wanted to ask if he wanted to be a reoccuring guest in your tiktok— and of course, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he opposed?

he helps you set up your laptop and phone— all of that sort of stuff, and then you guys were off to make an interesting tiktok

oh, but izuku did apply the appropriate tags because he didn’t want you to see odd things he was secretly nervous but,, you were very ethusiastic, so he was too.

the first several people were interesting in their own way— especially with their reactions to your boyfriend appearing on screen

usually, they’d back off with, and comment on how cute your boyfriend is— wishing the both of you well before calmly leaving to meet new people,

that was how it was, until you met this person in particular.

he sounded very,, egotistical— i wouldn’t say that because you’ve just met the dude, but he acted like everyone wanted him or it sounded like that

then he says, “you definitely have a phone number, right? you’re cute, just my type.” wkdksmd this is awkward since izuku’s right beside you, but he’s just outside of the frame

then, izuku pops out of the frame— in all his cute ass glory, he gives a small wave to the not so pleased stranger

“please, that’s your boyfriend?” he scoffs, “with those arms, he looks like he could be your little brother! now let me ask again—”

it’s really weird?? because have you seen izuku’s gainz?? and this dude’s audacity is extraordinary.

but little did this guy know, he’s looking at midoriya izuku— and,, you’ve seen his performance in the sports festival.

the dude takes another glance at your boyfriend, who’s sitting there right beside you— and he realizes who he was talking to

“oh shit, you’re—” and before the both of you could realize it, he nopes out of the conversation.

after that encounter, you burst into a fit of laughter— the look on izuku’s face being priceless. “you should’ve seen your reaction!”

“haha, i guess he knew who i was,” he says bashfully, cheeks warming up. because it registered in his mind that people actually knew who he was. “can you,, upload the tiktok later? i want to hug you— i mean! if that’s fine.”

of course it’s fine! you oblige, and give him all the hugs he could ever need

after cuddling with izuku, you do upload the tiktok— and an hour later, your tiktok notifications blow up

the tiktok all in all gathered 1M views, 780K likes, and over 1,500 comments— most of them saying stuff like

“your boyfriend’s reaction was so cute?? i know he looked like he was going to punch him through the screen but 👀” “last dude was just not it.” “LMAO HE REALLY TRIED IT” “is your boyfriend IZUKU MIDORIYA??”

when you excitingly showed him the tiktok’s results, he was certainly pleased— because most of the comments were positive, and also because the tiktok’s results made you happy

“i’m glad that it did well!” he’ll sigh in relief, pressing a kiss against your temple, let’s just not go on there ever again

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

April 2021 Part 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Close Friend Ep 2 (JaFirst) - First is a cat. No actually a cat. It was WEIRD. Cute, but creeping towards beastiality. It reminded me of that strange series out of China (@heretherebedork says Youth in the Breeze). The most amusing thing to me was that the cat used Thai formal linguistic register when of course cats would use informal rude guu mueng with EVERYONE. No cat would use pom. Don’t be ridiculous, Thailand. 

Second Chance Ep 5 - still invested, things progressed for all 3 couples, in one direction or another. They cuties. I love them. Carry on. 

Y-Destiny Ep 5 - the “virgin scoreboard” is gonna make the seme real hard to redeem with this pairing. If they bother. This might be a life lesson episode. What does it remind me of? Oh yes. Kids. *SHUDDER* Point of interest: did you notice Team uses ha with Mon? What a pushy flirt. 

Lovely Writer Ep 10 - honestly I just love it when Poppy shows up in anything, why is he such a delightful screen presence? (Gene’s brother) Sorry, distracted. What happened in this one? Oh, ya know, stuff and things. Family drama. (It is just me or have they been giving us some long ass episodes lately?) Obligatory beach trip activated. (Result = dumb probability mathematics jokes.) Next week it looks like we have Keeping Actor’s Closeted 101. You know the Casting Couch? This is the Casting Closet. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 4 - early stage confession, how fun. It’s not unprecedented it just usually means we are in 4 act structure, not 3, which means Fish might go more serious than I thought. Honestly? I’m losing interest mostly because I’ve gone from mild annoyance to active dislike of Pi. Happened to me with Tine too. They better redeem this obtuse tsundere uke soon or he’s not tsundere at all he’s just a jackwit. 

Brothers Ep 13 fin - a kiss and the family finds out about the not-so-brotherly brothers, drama, graduation, THE END. My side-dish happy heart made thumps over Q + delivery boy, I’m sad they got so little screen time. My babies KhunKaow did get a tiny coming out sequence as such. I’m seriously considering doing myself a bootleg of just the KhunKaow plot, but that means I’d have to rewatch the whole darn series and I can’t STAND the idea. Which should give you insight into how not good this show it. Very NOT good. Must we get a season 2? Please stop now, Line. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 7 - Muren is the cutest peanut and anyone who says otherwise can fight me, although they probably have to go through Licheng first. I was NOT invested in these two at the beginning, but as a couple? They own my soul. The other storyline is still the dumpster fire that I can’t decide to roast marshmallows over (knowing they’ll get tinged with eu de trash) or flee from in horror clutching my pearls and my nose. H4 continues to provide the quality psyche torture I’ve come to expect from this franchise. *sarcastic thumbs up*  *** A word on seeing Boxiang show up (side dish from H3:MODC). It was an unexpected pleasure, I loved his pairing (May/December is a winner for me *glares at Method*) but I do think it was a bone from the franchise telling us that we are never getting that spin-off or reboot that people yearn for. However, how AWESOME that Licheng has someone to go to and ask about topping properly. Otherwise he’s sure to have screwed it up. (Pun intended.) 

Papa & Daddy (Tailwan) Ep 1-2 - this came out of nowhere and is ADORABLE. Applies a ton of BL tropes (cheek kiss, his closet, B&W stripes, drag baby around, boop) but what IS it? More slice of gay domesticity than romance. Like 2019′s Kinou Nani Tabeta? or currently airing Close Friend. I enjoy this style, very wholesome, but I’m not sure what to call it. (Bonus points for cutie lesbians.) A bit weird to have a kid with your partner and STILL not be out to your parents. I hope they aren’t going to throw in a break up for dramatic effect. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 4 - I’m really enjoying this series. It’s unabashedly queer, although there’s some problematic stuff lurking under the wig. How it ends is gonna dictate if they handled this stylishly. But hot damn the leads ZING on screen together and their crackling prank-flirting is a joy to watch. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 31-33 - moving into the home stretch. Big rescue and the band is back together (presumably for the final slaughter). Then a death! *this is my shocked face* Did I tear up? Of course I did. 4 act structure is designed for maximum pathos during the final 1/4. Did we all faint from the symbolism of the love token hair stick being gently thrust into Ah Xu’s bun? Sure we did. All that and sill I’m flagging. This is a long-arse show. Save me, Korea, with your iItsy bitsy teenie weenie...

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 5-6 - I am getting such strong 12th Night vibes from this. Tae Hyung is now brigadier of BL’s historical himbo brigade. (To be deployed whenever you are in need of poetry or a cut sleeve.) This show is all ridiculous charm and I LOVE it. Although, five seconds of Lee Sang is not enough Lee Sang. I had to immediately rewatch Wish You. 

Gossip

Nitiman gave us an actor intro BTS teaser. 

Kang In Soo (AKA Kyang Insoo) posted a cute behind the photo shoot of Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding plus a silly interview with Jang Eui Soo on his YouTube channel (you should subscribe, it’s a fun channel, his fitness regime is both insane and inspiring). 

My Engineer 2 dropped a couch interview with the boys but it feels like one that was filmed a while ago (oh and no subs).  

STARTING SOON: Nitiman, Love Area, Top Secret Together, Be Loved in House, & I Promised You The Moon  

Nitiman (Thai) May 7, One 31. University set, moons, engineering students, enemies to lovers, adapted. - Looks to be a solid 2 Moons knock off, I’m in.

Love Area (Thai) May 8, AIS Play, 10 eps total. Restaurant set, stars Pak Chavitpong (the only good thing about Cupid Coach) and the OST is sung by Jeff Satur (Ingredients). - It’s boys in love revolving around food = my kryptonite, try to stop me from watching this probable trash. 

Top Secret Together (Thai) May 14, Line TV. 5 couples, one IRL (Newyear from I Am Your King), story arcs revolve around secrets.  - I’m getting fatigued by these multi-couple sampler pack dramas, but I’ll try it for Newyear’s sake.  

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan YES!) May 20, Viki. Office set, relationships prohibited at work by a new boss, one of the employees is determined to figure out why. Grumpy/tsundere pairing so loads of drama. - I am so flipping excited for this one. A 4th BL series from Taiwan in less than a year? That’s unprecedented. GO BABY ISLAND GO! 

I Promised You the Moon (Thai) May 27, Line TV. Follow up to I Told Sunset About You with the boys now at university. - I won’t be watching this as I have yet to finish season 1. 

Possibly Gameboys season 2.  - Rumors are all over the place right now on this. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[let-them-read-fics]

Yours Truly (Pt. 2)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Here's the second and final part of the imagine, gang. I hope you enjoy the adventures I wrote for you! Let me know about your fav part(s)!

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 1 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

5.) Epiphanies

A Week Later

"Yuqi, why the hell did you drag me here? I'd so much rather be writing…" you shove your hands further into the pockets of your hoodie and look at her with a scowl. Rows of people fill the bleachers around you, everyone excited for the football game that's scheduled to start soon. Happy couples sit together all around the stadium, and the sight only works to remind you of how weird things are with Jisoo right now.

"One: it's a Friday night and you need to let loose, and two: I wanted to come, so you have to tag along by default. The rules of friendship are very simple, Y/N," she trails off, tilting her head at you with a smile. 

"Well I am gonna go get some food," you imitate her, "Do you want anything?" You stand from the bench and look down at her, noticing how her permed hair sticks up in a few different places. You smooth it out for her as she answers, "Nachos, please." 

"Alright, dork. I'm sure the line's kinda long, but come look for me if I'm not back in 20." She pats your butt as you leave, and you just shake your head with a smile. 

"--I know! Did you hear about Lee's new girlfriend? I heard she got in a fight with his ex last ni--"

"I'm fucking starving bro."

"Yeah, they totally hooked up at Jackson's party!"

Various conversations work their way to your ears as you walk towards the back of the line, but you attempt to not get too invested in the gossip. As welcoming as your school tends to be, even it has its fair share of scandals and drama. You've never been one to care about rumors though, and you don't plan to start now.

"I heard that Jisoo likes someone." 

Funny how plans can change in an instant, don't you think? 

You can't find it in yourself to ignore the childish desire to eavesdrop, so you listen in as the line slowly shifts forward with each new customer served, doing your best to be inconspicuous. 

"Supposedly she's been into them for a while but they don't know about it. I guess Lisa is planning to get them together tonight or something, I don't know." You recognize the brunette speaking as Seulgi, a dance major that you share a couple classes with. She's talking to Yeri, whom you've seen a few times in passing. 

That must be why she was defensive about the kiss; she has feelings for someone else. 

"Ooh, that'll be interesting. I can't say that I'm not disappointed, though; now Jisoo's gonna be off the market." The shorter girl frowns, basically reading your mind with her statement. You've never fooled yourself into believing you have a chance with Jisoo, but knowing that she'll be whisked away by some lucky classmate of yours definitely isn't an easy pill to swallow. 

You pass the remaining wait time by imagining who that person may be. Jisoo has a lot of friends, but you've never seen her around campus with any particular love interest; she always puts her studies first, deciding that her education is far more important than any potential relationship.

You remain lost in your thoughts until it's your turn to order.

"Hey Y/N, what can I get for you?" The cashier greets, resetting the register as she grins at you. 

"Hi Yeji," you smile back, happy to see your old friend again after what feels like forever. Your busy schedules have kept you from hanging out much lately, but seeing her now is something you're grateful for. "I'll take two waters, a medium nacho, and 1 hot dog, please." 

"You want everything on it?" She asks in reference to your last request, assuming you still stick with the order you used to go with in your childhood. 

"You know it. And make sure to--"

"--spread the toppings out well. I remember, girl." She says with a wink, turning around to get started on your order. The familiar interaction warms your heart, aided by the idea that some things never change. After she packages your things up in a convenient little container, you thank her and pay, walking away with a promise to meet up at the school's café next week.

About halfway back to your seat, something unexpected happens.

"Rosie, we can't buy out the whole place. This is the 4th trip we've taken back here and the game hasn't even started yet!" You freeze as you round the corner, almost dropping your food as Jisoo's low voice sounds off nearby. 

"Unnie, I didn't even get to eat much of the other stuff at all! Lisa and Jennie stole it and shared it with everyone else," the artist pouts, rolling her hands into fists at her sides like a toddler. 

"Fine. But this is the last trip I'm taking." She warns, rolling her eyes when the Australian attacks her with a flurry of kisses. "Yah! Let's go before we miss something." She says, pushing her off of her with a smile on her face. 

Even her voice makes your heart ache, and it reminds you of what her kiss felt like against your lips. It was short, no doubt, and barely there; but the sparks remain, waiting to be reignited anytime she's around. Maybe you're just destined to pine.

----

"There you are! I was literally about to go steal some food from Shuhua because you were taking so long." 

"Yeah, yeah," you say, sitting down beside Yuqi with the cardboard box in your hands. "You're lucky I love you enough to pay for this. Now I'll have to survive on 3 grains of rice and ramen for the next few weeks." 

"Oh, the struggles of being a broke college student." She says woefully, clutching her hands together in front of her chest to add to the effect. 

"Precisely," you agree, scooting closer to offer her some nachos. When she tries to greedily take the whole tray of them, you're quick to stop her. 

"Ah, ah, ah," you warn, pulling her wrist back down. "We're sharing, chica." She huffs, but eventually settles down and decides to shove her face full instead of protesting anymore. 

Now, with your best friend happily eating, you relax and begin to prepare yourself for the match. 

--

"LET'S GO!" You shout with Yuqi, chanting together as your school's anthem echoes throughout the stadium. The rival team has been behind the entire game, but they closed the gap in the last few minutes and now it's neck and neck. Your band plays loudly to encourage your team, and it seems to be working; they manage to repeatedly hold the others off and keep them from scoring. 

It's the start of the fourth quarter now -- the home stretch. With their spirits still high, your team continues to keep victory out of their opponents hands. The black paint underneath their eyes is really streaked now, showing all the effort and sweat that they've put into the game so far. A beautiful sunset just previously gave way to a rapidly darkening evening sky, allowing some stars to peek out now.

"My high school team sucked; this is epic!" Yuqi says, making you laugh. You tear your eyes away from the heated game to say something to her, but all thoughts soon disappear from your mind and you stop mid-sentence. 

She notices your sudden silence and looks at you, only realizing what's happening once she follows your line of sight. Jeong is standing against the metal fence that borders the track, mingling with everyone at the bottom of the bleachers. That doesn't bother you, but what you see next certainly does; you spot Jisoo beside him, giggling at something he said as he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. 

"Oh shit," Yuqi breathes out, fully grasping the weight of the situation now. She doesn't even attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he knows how in love you are with Jisoo and yet there he is, flirting away. He's the only other person besides Yuqi who knows of your feelings for the brunette, and you really trusted him with it. Clearly that was a mistake. You blink a few times and set your jaw, quickly looking away as he moves closer to whisper something in her ear over the noise of the crowd. 

"I'm gonna head out to the car. Just let me know who wins," you mumble, brushing past her on your way toward the exit. You know there's no way you'd be able to focus on the game anymore after seeing that, so going is your best option. She catches your arm before you can slip away, and says, "Wait, I'm coming with you. And don't even try to tell me no; I can always watch highlights later. I'm not gonna let you be alone right now." 

Knowing it's pointless to argue anymore, you nod once and wait for her to gather up her trash and coat. "Let's go," she says, taking your hand after tossing her garbage in the can conveniently placed at the end of your row. She squeezes it a few times for reassurance, and a bittersweet smile works onto your lips at the gesture. 

You don't notice how Jisoo's eyes follow you, every fiber of her being yelling at her to go after you. She hates seeing you sad, and although she isn't 100% sure of the reason for it now, all she wants is to cheer you up. 

"So, Jisoo. Do you have any plans after the game?" Jeong smirks, quirking a brow suggestively at his own question. Jisoo grimaces, saying, "Yeah, I do. I have to study." She tries to find you in the crowd again, but it seems that you've already slipped away. 

"We're throwing a party tonight, you should come." He leans a little closer to her, but she takes a step back. The only reason she's even talking to him right now is because Lisa introduced them, and it would be impolite not to. She turns him down, yet again sneaking a glance around the stadium. 

"No wonder Y/N's too chicken to ask you out; you're hard to get, but I don't mind a challenge." Her head whips around at his statement, heart regaining that familiar uptick at the mention of you. "What?" She blinks, not believing her ears. Surely she was just hearing things. 

"I said I don't mind a challenge," his words come out slightly slurred, and the effects of the alcohol he's been drinking are beginning to show themselves in all the wrong ways. The more he talks, the less Jisoo can stand him. "Look, Jeong -- I'm not interested. I'm sure there are other girls here that would love to get to know you, but I'm not one of them. Now, if you'll excuse me," she says, turning her body to the side to maneuver around him and get to the stairs. He lets her go without another word, his pride too bruised to come up with a more fitting response than a muttered insult. 

She makes quick work of getting to the parking lot, where she spots you approaching Yuqi's car, head hanging a bit. Seeing you upset saddens her, and she's determined to find out what's wrong. 

"Y/N! Wait up!" The shout catches your attention, and you slowly spin around. Jisoo begins to jog out to you, and a scoff slips past your lips (though you don't put much effort into stopping it). You're hurt, and half of the reason for your pain is staring right back at you like nothing happened. 

"What do you want, Jisoo?" You sigh, not looking forward to where this conversation will most certainly go.

"I want to talk, Y/N." She's in front of you now, scanning her eyes between yours to gauge your reaction. 

"What is there to say? Just go back to talking to Jeong; you looked like you were enjoying yourself." She can hear the jealousy laced in your tone, and things finally -- finally -- begin to click for her. 

"Is that what this is about?" She asks in reference to your sadness. The question isn't accusatory at all; she's genuinely trying to piece things together. 

A disbelieving laugh leaves you at that. How is she still so oblivious? "Yes, Jisoo, it is. I just had to witness someone who I thought was my friend flirt with my crush. So yeah, that's what this is about." Sensing that she doesn't know what to say, you decide to conclude things for her. This is already pitiful enough, and you'd rather spare the both of you from having the "it's not you, it's me" talk. 

"Look, I get it. You don't like me back, and you were only trying to be friendly by inviting me to the rehearsal that night. Just please, for the both of us, forget it even happened. Forget all of this. It was a mistake, and I won't do it again."

Jisoo hates that you're jumping to conclusions without even knowing her true feelings; you automatically think that she couldn't possibly feel the same, and you use her moment of silence as a form of evidence to prove that. The complete opposite is true, though you'd never give her enough time to straighten out her jumbled thoughts and tell you that. 

She finds her voice when you turn away, and she reaches out to touch your hand. "Stop, you've got it all wrong." Your eyes glance down to your intertwined hands, but you wiggle out of her grip with a heavy sigh. Over your shoulder, you shakily say, "You don't have to pretend for me, Jisoo. I'll be alright. If he makes you happy, then so be it." 

With that, you get in Yuqi's car and tell her to drive away, leaving Jisoo to deal with the sinking feeling in her chest that worsens as the car's tail lights grow dimmer and dimmer in the distance. You're gone, and she really has no idea how to come back from this. 

6.) Broken Hearted

The next few weeks were hell. You avoided Jisoo as much as possible, too embarrassed to face her after what happened and too weak to be close to her again. You'd surely fall even harder if you allowed yourself to grow any closer, so you didn't take the risk. How could you? Falling alone isn't an enjoyable experience, and you've been teetering on the edge of no return ever since that afternoon at the daycare. 

It was hard enough to escape her hold -- her face was everywhere, plastered on ads and bulletin boards all throughout campus, on reminders and sign ups for student council. You used your sick days in order to hide away in your dorm and block out the world, only being comforted by Ryujin when she wasn't busy with her own life or Yuqi when she could spare a few hours. They always made sure to care for you as much as they could, knowing first hand how tough heartbreak can be -- especially with the added stress of schoolwork. 

One person you thought about often was Jeong. Every time he'd cross your mind, dirtying up your brainwaves with the mere notion of himself, you'd grimace. He didn't deserve the attention, and yet you couldn't help but question why he did that to you. He hadn't reached out since that night, likely due to Yuqi giving him a piece of her mind after the game. He made it clear that he wasn't sorry, and that if given the chance, he'd play his cards even better and hopefully score a date with Jisoo. 

Maybe that was the worst part of it all. Hearing that it hadn't just been a stupid thing he did because he was drunk; he realized the weight of his actions, and he'd do it again, over and over, without caring about how you fit into the equation. That football game was simply a turning point, hidden in plain sight as an unassuming night for you to hang out with Yuqi. But you learned more then than you had ever intended to; Jeong's selfish, and he probably never even cared for you in the first place. The idea of that makes you feel dirty -- like you wasted so much of your time with such a horrible person, sticking up for him and defending his name when he wasn't around when he never even deserved that in the first place. You wish you would've known who he really was back then; you would've stayed away. 

Unbeknownst to you, Jisoo was struggling much like you -- minus the whole "betrayed by a best friend" situation. Every time that she showed up in class, she hoped with every piece of herself that you'd walk through the door and grace the room with your presence. You seldom ever did, though -- but when you ran out of free days of absence and were forced to attend class in order to keep your grades up, you never even uttered a word to her. She'd make it a point to ask questions in class, hoping that hearing her voice would bring something out of you, as yours did to her. She longed to talk to you again, if only for a minute; but your resolve remained strong, and her determination grew weaker as the days went by. 

Being the person she is, though, she knew giving up wasn't an option. After a few weeks of that cycle, greeting stands were placed at the front doors of each complex on campus, manned by different members of the council. She came up with a story for the administration on the fly, using her people skills to convince them that it would be good for student morale and getting more people to join clubs. It was a great effort, but she underestimated your avoidance skills; you thwarted her plans again, slipping right through her strategically linked fingers. 

Eventually, she lost hope. She exhausted every option she knew to try, and the girls ran out of new ones as well. Seeing their unnie so upset saddened them, and they did all they could to cheer her up in any and every way they knew how. 

7.) Premiere Night

"Y/N, get up. You're gonna shower and get dressed if I have to force you to do it myself." Yuqi commands, blasting into your room and flipping on the overhead light that shines far too bright for your liking. 

"Mmm," you groan in protest, not even bothering to roll over. 

"I mean it; don't test me, you know I'm true to my word."

"Why, Yuqi?"

"Because we're going to the performance tonight. The big show that everyone has been going on about is premiering, and you're coming with me to see it."

"I can't do that." You say, her words sobering you up from your sleepy stupor.

"I know who the lead is," she informs, already knowing about your reasons for being hesitant, "and that's precisely why we're going. You can't keep living like this, so either go get your girl, or agree to be friends with her and work past what you're dealing with." 

"You sound like a mom at the end of an 80s movie."

"80s movie moms are valid, so I'll take that as a compliment. Now go!" She shouts, shoving you off the bed. You tumble to the floor in a heap of blankets and pillows, still managing to hit your funny bone as you let out a pained groan. 

"Remind me to slap her later, Ryujin." 

"Will do." She salutes, reaching a hand down to help you up. With one last glare at an annoyingly bubbly Yuqi, you head to the bathroom to shower. 

----

"How do I look?" You ask, looking yourself up and down in the skinny mirror attached to the wall. 

"Is it gay if I say I'd ask you out?" Yuqi asks with a smile, fanning herself animatedly when you strike a pose. 

"Very much so, yes." 

"Well, hand me the rainbow suspenders, then." 

You push her over with a laugh -- the first real one you've shared in a while -- and wrap her in a hug. 

"Thank you, for real. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you." You say against her shoulder, pulling back to look at your roommate and add, "Either of you." The three of you settle in for a group hug and tell a few more jokes before Yuqi finally drags you out of the dorm. 

----

"How does it feel to be back in society?" Yuqi whispers, leaning in close to you to read the seat numbers printed on your tickets. 

"As lame as ever." You add, amusingly unenthused. 

"You're never gonna convince Jisoo to date your dumbass with that attitude." She retorts, feeling a little guilty when she sees your expression change upon hearing her name. You're afraid to see where the two of you will stand at the end of the night, so saying it's still a sore subject is the understatement of the year. 

"I'm messing with you, dude. If she doesn't want to be with you, then it's her loss; but I highly doubt that's the case. I've heard she misses you a lot." For once, Yuqi's words are halfway encouraging to hear, and you let out a light smile. 

"Well I'm prepared to worry about that whole situation later. For now, let's find our seats and enjoy the show." Your best friend quickly agrees, and the two of you squeeze through the crowds in the aisles to get to your row. 

----

"Jisoo, I promise you'll do well. You've been practicing for months; you've got this," Soo-hyun says, rubbing his co-lead's back in reassuring circles. The certainty in his deep voice gives Jisoo some semblance of security, and she stands to look at him with one final, nervous sigh. Stage fright has never been this big of an issue for her, but the size of the crowd and the idea that you might be out there scare the hell out of her. She wants you to be there with all of her heart, but she doesn't know if she'll be able to handle watching you walk away again. The past few weeks have been torture, and she misses your presence and witty remarks more than she ever thought possible. 

"Thank you, Soo-hyun. I'll meet you out there in a couple minutes, just let me collect myself."

He nods and says, "Take your time. I'll let Mrs. Choi know," before leaving and shutting the door behind himself. Now alone again, Jisoo digs through her personal bag that lays neatly on the small futon of the dressing room. When her fingers come in contact with that familiar material she's spent hours staring at, she bites the inside of her cheek and unfolds it for the millionth time. Multiple poems and blurbs litter the page, accompanied by cute doodles and cartoons here and there that give it a personal feel. She's spent the time away from you methodically working through the different writings, restraining herself from reading all of them in one setting so that she can have new content from time to time. 

She's down to the last one, now, and a surprising sort of realization hits her when she reads it. It instills within her a sense of determination -- determination to get you back and set things right, one way or another. She makes a plan to find you after the performance.

-- After The Performance -- 

It was even more spectacular than you ever imagined it could be. The school spared no expense in getting the best props, employing the most skilled technicians on hand, and recruiting the best artists that the school had to paint the backdrops. Everyone behind the scenes worked tirelessly to produce the best show possible, and their efforts really paid off. 

And, of course, you can't forget the actors. 

The entire cast was incredible, their talent matching some of the world's most sought-after stars. Every part was played to perfection; even the smaller, supporting roles were acted with passion, really bringing the piece together as a whole. The production left you wanting more, too inspired and awestruck by the amazing performances to be content with just seeing it once. So, after numerous calls for an encore, the cast returned to run through a few of their key scenes. 

---

As the cast takes their final bow, large cannons placed on either side of the stage shoot out bursts of colorful confetti, and you watch it flutter down around them. Some try to catch a piece or two to add to their scrapbooks, wanting to have a trinket from their college years, while others just hug each other and twirl around with content smiles on their faces. The crowd continues its loud cheering, and eventually you find the courage to sneak a glance at Jisoo.

To your surprise, she's looking right back. 

Her eyes hold a mixed softness; she's proud of herself and glad that you came to support her on such a big night, but part of her wants to escape the busyness of it all and tell you everything she's been feeling. She'd be content with looking at you forever, she realizes, as she studies you. You're the true star in her eyes, always shining so bright and making everyone feel at home whenever they're around you. She hopes you know how special you are. 

Mrs. Choi approaches the cast from stage right, gathering their attention to congratulate them and commend them for their performances. Jisoo reluctantly looks away from you, unsure if it's the last time she'll be seeing you tonight. The thought upsets her, but there isn't much she can do about it right now; so, she gives her attention to her professor and flashes that smile that makes everyone weak in the knees. 

You knew it was just a matter of time before she'd be pulled away and immersed in some conversation about the show, but the selfish side of you never wanted her to look away. No matter how confusing things may be because of all of your unresolved issues, she still looks at you like she always had before -- her gaze is kind, albeit bittersweet, but it's full of care. Seeing her like that makes you feel like even more of an asshole than you already do -- maybe you should have just listened to her at the game. Running away was an immature choice, rooted entirely in your own sadness in that moment as you deprived yourself of any explanation she could've offered, though you can't judge yourself too harshly. The situation is complicated, and you still don't know whether to hate yourself for running or go easy on yourself in light of what happened. 

When Yuqi sees you stand up and shuffle towards the end of your row, she sends you a warning look. 

"Dude, I'm not gonna run away. I'm literally just gonna step outside for some fresh air, I promise." She visibly relaxes, no longer having to prepare herself to wrangle you back into the seat. 

"Fine. But if you aren't back in 15 minutes I'm coming to track you down. You really need to talk to her." 

You sigh, nodding in agreement. "I know, trust me. Just let me get my thoughts together first." She sends you off to do just that, but not until the two of you complete the special handshake you made up all those months ago. 

---

Brisk air rushes over your skin in waves the moment you exit the side door of the building, automatically sending goosebumps to raise in its wake. It feels nice, though; it grounds you, and works to cool off your heated skin. The atmosphere inside was thick with the tension you've been feeling ever since what happened that night at the game, and its effects were only heightened by the raw performances of the evening. Passion and longing were the driving factors of the play, ironically, and many of the scenes drew eerie parallels to your current situation. So, it's no wonder that you're thankful to step away from it all for a bit.

You greet a few stray audience members that're puttering around outside as well, opting to walk down a little further away from them and lean against the building. The wall's brick material feels rough against your back, lightly scratching it whenever you shift your weight from one foot to the other. You don't mind it, though; it's oddly nostalgic, somehow. 

When you hear the door open again, you think nothing of it. The metal hinges latch just the same as they had for you, so there's really no reason for you to even look up. However, that all changes when you feel someone's eyes on you.

Unprepared is leaps and bounds away from being a fitting statement to describe how you feel in that moment; Jisoo stands merely 10 feet away from you at most, right next to the stage door that she just came out of. Her hands fiddle with the drawstrings of her costume, seemingly always needing to be occupied when she's nervous or unsure of herself; it's a habit you've picked up on after seeing it so many times. 

The longer you look at her, the more you want to look away; she's so beautiful it hurts, and the silence is eating away at you. You can't blame her, though; neither of you know what to say or do, and the only thing you seem capable of is staring at each other. When you break the intense eye contact you were sharing to turn away, only intending to take a minute to collect yourself, Jisoo is suddenly set in motion. 

She's afraid you'll leave again, and she's prepared to fight even harder for you this time.

I love you as the stars love the night sky

A fateful, cyclic romance

A game of eager greetings and reluctant goodbyes

Those words -- ones that you remember penning one day in class while completely entranced by Jisoo -- roll from her lips effortlessly, as if she had spent time committing them to memory. She had, in fact; whenever days passed without her even catching a glimpse of you, she always found herself unfolding that note again, tracing a finger over the curve of your unique letters as she reread the poem. It always brought her comfort to think that you were in just as deep as her, and a similar sense of hope blossoms in her chest now when she spots an unbelieving smile tug at the corner of your lips as you slowly turn to face her again. 

You're still into her, and she's falling even deeper at the realization. Maybe she didn't lose you after all. 

She takes calculated steps towards you and breathes a sigh of relief when you stay put, not showing any signs of running. The wheels in your head are going into overdrive now, turning and churning as you process her little recital, and she prays with all of her heart that you won't be upset once you put two and two together. 

"How did you…"

"You dropped it one day, and I picked it up. I meant to give it back to you, but I guess I just never got around to it." She feels a little guilty for keeping it as long as she has, but it's served as a way of keeping you close during your time apart. Those bits and pieces of you, scattered around on that page, encapsulated by the annotations and doodles you so kindly left behind, have stayed in her heart. Ever since she discovered it all that time ago, it's never been very far from her; she cherishes it more than you'll ever know. 

"You didn't show it to anyone, right?" Your voice is laced with worry, lowered a bit to keep others from overhearing. 

"No, no! Of course not. I just… kept it for myself. You're really talented; I couldn't stop reading your stuff." 

"Thank, I guess?" You awkwardly chuckle, still a bit rusty on how to interact with her after everything. Plus, to be fair, having your crush read one of the love letters you wrote about her is a bit unheard of. Newfound territory, you think to yourself.

"How long?" You ask after a minute of silence, only realizing how loaded your question is after it slips past your lips, turning into a puff of steam in the chilly atmosphere. "How long have you… felt that way about me?" You quickly add, "Assuming that you feel what the poem says, of course." 

An amused smile tweaks her lips at how cute you are. "I do, Y/N. I always have; ever since that afternoon at the daycare." 

"Really?" The question is quiet, full of childlike disbelief. 

"Really. It was always you." She says it freely now: unafraid.

The sentiment is sweet, but memories of the football game come flooding back and you're reminded that as much as you want to skip this next part, you still have things to discuss. 

"What about Jeong?" 

"What about him?"

"Did you ever like him?"

"No. The girls thought so, but it was just a misunderstanding. That's why Lisa introduced us at the game; she thought I had a crush on him, but I told her that you were always the one I was looking at. I told all of the girls that, after that night." 

Her confession renders you speechless -- only capable of listening and nodding every now and then. She takes advantage of your silence to finally explain herself and tell you everything she's been dying to. 

"I didn't know you felt the same until our talk in the parking lot. I mean, I was hopeful after some of the moments we had, but I didn't know for sure until then. I wanted to beg you to stay and hear me out, but you left before I had the chance."

You blink a few times as the reality of her words begin to sink in. "I had no idea…"

"Yeah, well…" she trails off, unsure of what to say next. She's forgiven you for walking away, knowing you were just hurt, but the whole situation still left a bad taste in her mouth. So much pain could've been avoided for the both of you if you had just listened.

"How did they take it?"

"They yelled at me for waiting so long to tell them, but then they tried to help me get you back. Remember those student council booths?" She leans in a little closer to ask that last line, her lips pulling to the side in that iconic smirk of hers. 

You audibly gasp and point at her animatedly. "I knew that was you!"

"Mhm, pulled some fancy-sounding excuse out of my ass to convince the board, and boom; 20 brand new tables set up the next day. I still can't believe you managed to slip past them, though. I mean, c'mon, have you seen how talkative those kids can be?" 

"Trust me, it wasn't easy," you laugh with her. "I had to sneak to the back entrances like a drug dealer." 

"I can totally see that." 

"I'm dedicated, what can I say?" The stupid hair flip you do makes her laugh even harder, clutching her stomach as those beautiful sounds slip past her lips. 

As your shared laughter eventually turns into soft chuckles, she smiles at you, saying, "I really missed this. I missed you, so so much." 

"I've been a wreck without you, Jisoo. It's honestly embarrassing." 

She looks at you with something new shining in her eyes, and she carefully contemplates what she's about to admit. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course." 

"I rarely cry, Y/N, but I did over you. So you have no reason to be embarrassed. It seems like both of us were pretty bad off." She looks down after saying that, scuffing her foot against the concrete of the sidewalk. Being vulnerable isn't usually easy for her, and she never really lets people see that side of her -- not even the girls. She feels like she has to stay strong for them to keep things running smoothly, but she fails to realize how important her own feelings are. You're different, though; she feels like her entire collection of secrets would be safe with you, and you make her feel secure enough to be open like that. 

When she feels you step closer and hook two fingers underneath her chin, her eyes dart up to yours and her heart speeds up. Your other arm hesitantly wraps around her waist, giving her plenty of time to step away and deny you. You've spent so much time convincing yourself that she couldn't possibly want someone like you that you're genuinely surprised when she steps further into your embrace, pulling your arm tighter around herself. 

Her right arm comes to rest loosely on your shoulder as her other hand caresses your forearm, rubbing various patterns against your smooth skin. "I tried so hard to get you to pick up on my flirting," she starts, playing with the baby hairs at the nape of your neck as she holds you close. "Every touch," she runs a finger down your arm, leaving a trail of electricity in its wake. "Every look," she moves her hand from your neck to your cheek, cupping it sweetly as she gazes into your eyes. She strokes your skin with the pad of her thumb, smiling beautifully when she feels you nuzzle into her hold even more. 

"And that kiss…" she says, sounding breathless at the mere thought of it. "I wanted it to last forever." 

"Why didn't you tell me that, then?" You ask, not even a trace of anger in your tone. You're determined to let go of all the hurt and fear that your misunderstandings have caused, opting instead to finally get the answers you've wanted for so long. "After I came back from putting Aera to bed you were just… different. And then when you said it was just a part of the script--"

"I know. I was afraid that if I let myself have you like that -- if I let you in all the way -- there'd be no going back." When she sees the confusion building in your eyes, she continues on. "I don't usually let myself get distracted; I can't afford it. You know how seriously I take my studies." You nod, recalling the numerous times you've found her in the library until it closed, studying hard for the exams everyone knew she'd ace. "But you wiggled your way past every line of defense I ever put up. You became my favorite distraction." A dopey grin tugs at your lips at receiving that title, and you subconsciously hold your head a little higher.

"But I wasn't prepared for that. You make me feel things that I've never felt before, and I really didn't think I could afford to let myself have you. Not fully, anyway. I could deal with a crush; I told myself I could keep you close enough that I wouldn't miss you, but far enough that I could keep myself protected."

"What changed?" You ask, smoothing your hands over the small of her back, feeling the heat radiate from her skin. They've worked their way under the hem of her shirt during your conversation, subconsciously seeking to share her warmth, and Jisoo has been acutely aware of it the entire time. 

"When I saw you walk away like that I didn't know what to do with myself. I've had people leave before, so it's not a new thing; but I never missed them like I've missed you."

A bittersweet, melancholic look settles on your face at that; she deserves every good thing that the world has to offer, so knowing that you played a part in her sadness -- whether it be direct or indirect -- disheartens you a bit. 

"But you're here now, and that's all that matters." She says, leaning her forehead against yours. 

"And I'm not going anywhere," you affirm, holding her even closer than before. She brushes her nose against yours with a quiet sigh, relieved to be in your arms, caught safely in your warm embrace. If falling feels like this, she's more than okay with it. 

"Can I?" You ask, glancing down to the heart shaped pillows you've dreamt of having against yours again. 

She nods, uttering a soft, "Please", as she tilts her head to the side in expectancy. You close the remaining distance, bending your knees slightly to tighten your hold on her waist and pull her flush up against yourself. Both of her arms wrap around your neck now, occasionally coming down to tilt your head and allow her better access, or run her fingers through your hair. It's sensual and meaningful, but an air of urgency hangs in the air, thickening it the longer her lips are on you. Both of you are making up for lost time, so it's no wonder you're so eager. 

She takes your bottom lip between her teeth as she backs you up, pressing you against the brick wall that you had migrated a few steps away from during your conversation. If she were kissing anyone else, perhaps she'd care about the strangers staring, or what they might say; but as she stands here, feeling your hands explore her body in the ways that she's dreamed of and your lips kiss her senseless, that's the furthest thought from her mind. Her hands grab at the collar of your shirt, balling the material up in her palms as she pushes her lips against yours from a new angle. 

When you eventually pull back for air, you can't help but say the phrase that's been sitting on your mind for weeks. "I love you." 

Her heart speeds up to match yours, both of them racing as you look at each other with giant smiles on your faces. "I love you, too. If you hadn't already guessed that," she chuckles, leaning up to kiss you again. This one's more innocent, though -- full of giddiness as you replay each other's declaration in your minds. 

"Y/N L/N IF YOU AREN'T OUT HERE--"

Yuqi bellows loudly, blasting through the side door and out into the chilly night air. The metal smacks against the wall from the force she exerted, and you physically cringe at the sound. Jisoo does the same, quickly pulling away to find out what's going on. 

When Yuqi's line of sight settles on the two of you, her eyebrows raise and a smirk lands on her lips. "Well, well, well. Looks like my work here is done," she says, cocking her head to the side self-assuredly when she sees how swollen both of your lips are and how mussed your clothing is. You send her a look that she registers as "Get lost", and she retreats back into the performance hall with her hands raised in surrender.

"Idiot," you mutter under your breath, shaking your head as you watch the door close behind her, its poor hinges still recovering from her assault. Jisoo's giggle makes you turn back to her, finding a breathtaking smile forming on her lips. "You're so cute," she coos, poking your cheek, "especially when you blush like that." 

You fight the bashfulness that attempts to take over, managing to cock a brow at her and say, "Hey, watch it -- I might not be so kind in my next poem if you don't stop teasing me." 

"Aww, don't be like that, baby." 

She tenses up after realizing she let that pet name slip out at the end, but your smile only widens. 

"Say that again."

"Baby," she drawls in her signature sultry tone, stepping closer to you again. 

"Mmm, I could get used to that." You hum against her lips, pressing yours to them at the end of your statement. 

"Good, because there's more where that came from." 

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm," she settles into your arms again, looking into your eyes with so much love you nearly swoon. "This is only the beginning for us." 

[kingbiwing]

Hey! How ya been?

Hi @mr---moth, it's been a while!

I haven't really been active on this blog for a long time, but I've been meaning to come back, so I'm going to use your ask to like, rant and give some news! Good, bad, neutral, I don't really think it matters, I just miss telling everyone on here how I've been!

I genuinely have no idea of how to properly TW/CW all of this, so here are the topics that I will talk about:

Birthdays, fear of growing older (?)

Mental health issues/relapses, non-graphic mentions of suicidal thoughts, diagnosis, mention of having a shitty psychiatrist

Family, legal guardianship, court

The most recent one is: I'm sixteen now! Woohoo! It's been five days now, so I'm not exactly used to it yet, but it's been good so far. The week before my birthday was pretty stressful, notably because I wasn't really (at all) supposed to live this long.

For some reason, I always had it as my last limit. I'm pretty sure it was already set when I was maybe six, years before I had my first suicidal thoughts. I suspect it is somewhat related to how the media (and the people around me) always called sixteen the "perfect age to be" (and the fact that the term "sweet sixteen" existed too didn't help either). I mean, your high school years are the best of your life, right? /s. And sixteen is the middle. You enter at fourteen, leave at eighteen, it only makes sense.

Anyways. I was still up at midnight, on that day. Not surprising for anybody- many people stay up until then, especially on a birthday.

Funnily enough, my childhood friend Isaac (whom I've met merely a few days after I turned ten) sent me his message only a few seconds after it turned to 12! I honestly don't know how they did, because they said they didn't even notice how early he was.

It felt... I don't actually know how it felt, to be honest. It wasn't a shock, nor scary or sad, or any opposites. I don't think I even registered it. I was just mostly glad that he remembered, because we only reconnected in summer 2021 after about three years without any kind of communication.

I still don't "feel" sixteen, to tell the truth. I am aware that I am, I don't mess up on my age, I know it. It just doesn't feel real.

But, overall, it was a pretty nice day! Not the birthday in itself, but knowing that my closest friends remembered (whether they wished it to me or didn't, some avoided it because of how stressful it was to me, but I know they didn't forget about it) and getting gifts was pretty cool!

I got a total of four comics from my parents in law, including an integral. I don't think it'll surprise anybody to learn that all of them were about Nightwing! :)

And I got blankets, too! Two of them, a purple and a bright pink one. And a bathbomb.

And also something I didn't even know existed: a Bat-Signal lamp! Not only is the light bat-shaped, but the lamp in itself is designed to look like the Bat-Signal; that's so cool!!!

So, yeah, TL;DR: I turned sixteen, and it wasn't that bad. Plus, cool gifts!

Oh, and another thing! I've known I had ADHD for years now, and it's here! I'm finally officially diagnosed and medicated for it! Isn't that amazing??? (I mean, I technically got diagnosed with ADD, but that's only because my psychiatrist didn't believe me to be hyperactive because she "doesn't see it", despite my neuropsychiatrist saying that I had eight symptoms of hyperactivity out of nine. Whatever, I will keep on saying I have ADHD, I don't think anybody cares anyways.)

I will also be going to court on May 4th to be officially put under my parents in law's care. They technically won't be designed my legal guardians, but something called "trusted third party" (I don't know if that's a thing everywhere else, so I'm just translating it literally). Don't ask me what the difference is, I don't know! But yeah, that's nice. My mom's social workers will finally stop bugging her about where I am.

On a slightly more negative note, my mental health has been pretty random for the past few months. I've had mood swings for years, but it has somehow worsened. I've been lashing out about twice a day for quite a while now, and I can't control my emotions anymore now. I already didn't have a strong grasp on them (especially anger), but it's completely gone now. Yesterday, my fiancé told me he loved me, and I started crying out of sadness (despite how happy I am that he loves me!!). Everything I feel is extremely overwhelming, and my continuous relapses and recovery attempts in every single issue I've ever had are of no help.

I've also attempted to drop out of high school (I tried to go online for this school year and it didn't go well either), but due to a bunch of (mostly recent) stupid laws and issues, I can't, despite the fact that anyone in France is technically legally allowed to drop out after turning sixteen. As I mentioned, there are more things involved, so it's not a possibility for me anymore.

I honestly don't know what to do about it, considering how hard this whole situation is to me, but I'm managing. I think.

This post/answer probably doesn't make a lot of sense (especially with my tone, it took my an hour to write this so I don't think I succeeded in keeping the same tone the whole time), but I wanted to try and only include the most important events/changes/things, because so many things happened during this past year that it'd take me days to finish writing everything down!

However, do you know what hasn't changed?

I still don't know how to end a post... eh.

- Lys

[lovelysugawara]

**grammatical errors ahead, sorry guys**

plot: you and Kuroo are married, but your husband turns cold over you, because of an incident a year ago. Will he once again love you back???

Part 1-12 

https://lovelysugawara.tumblr.com/post/640042466973761536/love-me-again

Cont…

Part 13

*Kuroo’s POV*

I wake up the next morning with a bit of a headache.

But i don’t mind.

The most important thing in my life now is sleeping beside me. 

-My wife.

Hinari is peacefully sleeping and even snoring a little bit. It’s been awhile since I saw her like this.

She felt warm and familiar, I wanted to bury my face in the curve of her neck and never let go. 

I miss her touch, I miss her skin, her lips, her hands on me, I miss her everything. 

Her voice, saying I love you’s, and how much she loves me.

I can’t help but kiss her while she’s sleeping.

I really missed her.

I remember last night after I kissed her, I swear I can taste the next hundred years of my life.

I have to thank the boys for making me drunk.

And of course Kenma, I didn’t know he can pull punches like that.

I also need a serious talk with him too.

But for now, I have to focus my eyes on the precious queen besides me.

I put both my hands and hugged her tight, causing her to wake up.

“Good morning.” I said while smiling at her.

Her eyes slightly adjust to the sunlight from the window.

When the whole night registered to her, she suddenly blushed, and looked away.

“G-good morning, Tetsu,” she said. How cute.

“Did you sleep well?” I asked, and I touched her face with my left hand.

She also touched my hand and closed her eyes to feel my touch.

“Like a log. I didn’t even dream,”

“That’s good. Coz me too.” I said, she smiled at me.

I opened my arms and she knew what it meant, she curled up against me. I held her close and kissed her hair. 

“I want to kiss you, Hina.”

She touched my face, “You don’t have to ask permission. I’m yours.”

And I didn’t waste time, I once again claimed her as mine.

***

We decided to get up at 9 am.

We cooked breakfast, together. We do things together for the whole morning. I don’t know but I always make sure to hold or touch her whenever I have the chance. We ate breakfast, while we held hands.

“Are you sure you’re not going to work?” she asked worriedly.

“That’s the 4th time you asked me that, do you want me to go to work?” I asked her as we cozily lay on the couch. 

She blushed and looked away. “No, I don’t want to.”

She once again put both her hands at my neck and buried her face at the crook of my neck.

***

I know we're happy, but I also know we need to talk things out.

Kenma’s right. I have to tell her the truth.

“Hina, we need to talk.” 

We are now sitting and facing each other.

“I wanted to say sorry. For everything.” I said looking straight to her eyes.

I saw her flinched, and I know I’m digging deep into her wounds. The wounds I already inflict to her. And I’m well aware of that.

“Tetsu, I-”

“No, let me finish, Hina.” I stopped her by saying I don’t have to do this, that she already forgives me, because I know how much I hurt her.

“First of all, I’m sorry for invalidating your feelings about our angel. Our baby.” After I said those words, her tears fell. I fight back myself from not hugging her right away. 

I hate seeing her crying face, but this is the price I have to pay for my wrong doings. 

“I ignored you, taking you for granted. I even purposely try to forget loving you. I was wrong, I thought it’s only me who is hurting when we had a miscarriage. When the most hurt one is you, and I failed as a husband to protect and support you in times that you needed me.”

I don’t mind crying in front of her, I don’t mind showing how weak I am, and I don’t mind if I have to bow my head to ask for her forgiveness. 

“I wanted to apologize and beg you for any little chance you can give me. I hurt you big time, and I don’t know if you still love me or the marriage paper is the only thing holding you down. But I can’t imagine my life without you.”

She’s sobbing already, crying her heart out.

And I can’t help myself anymore, I throw myself to her, and hug her. Cry like a baby and we both sobs.

We both cry like our tears are unlimited, I felt her punching me, probably she wanted to release how badly hurt she is.

“I-I a-always question myself if it is still worth it to stay beside you, even if you always push me away. I cried myself to sleep after our baby was gone. And I expected you to hug me tight and remind me that it will be fine soon and I got to hold on. How many times I have to cry because all I can see at night is your cold back and it’s like I’m alone fighting.” she said in a shaky voice, she almost can’t finish those sentences without breaking a sob. she ‘s pushing me away, but I won’t let go.

I kept saying I'm sorry, I kept on saying please forgive me, until she calmed down and went limp on my arms. 

“You messed up so much Tetsu. You messed up big time.” she said in between sobs.

“I’m sorry,” I kissed her head, and I felt her hands hugging me.

I want her back, I want to start over.

But there’s this thing about Mayuri, and Hina needs to know it.

“Hina,” I cup her face, and look into those sapphire eyes the most beautiful color I have ever seen.

“What is it, Tetsu?” she said as she also holds my hands. 

“About Mayuri,” I saw her flinched after mentioning her name.

I know something happened the day Mayuri brought me here months ago, thus the result of her keeping a distance with me. 

“What about her?” she then looked away, and i felt her tremble more.

But I have to see her eyes, I have to see her face.

“No, please baby, look at me.”

I draw her face so that she can see me.

Her tears are already falling as she looks at me.

“Listen, Hina, I’m not having an affair with her. I didn’t like her.”

I said firmly.

And it’s like the time stops, she blankly stares at me without saying a word.

“Hina, did you hear me? I’m not having an affair with her, she’s-!”

I didn’t have the chance to finish what I’m saying after she suddenly kissed me. A kiss of relief, for the both of us.

“Please, love me again, Hinari.” I can’t help it, but my voice trembles.

She smiles gently at me, “I love you, Tetsuro. I love you. I never stop loving you.” she keeps on saying, that makes my heart melt. 

And I know I am the luckiest guy knowing this woman is all mine, forever.

“And I love you too, Hinari. And I promise, your love is forever safe with me. You have all my words, my love.”

I can’t think of any greater happiness knowing she loves me and that she’s mine forever.

***

“We have to talk.” I said it after I suddenly showed up at Kenma's flat. 

He swiveled his chair to face me, “Gladly, I wanted to settle the score Kuro.” he said as he stood up and went straight to the door. 

And I can’t believe how fearless he is right now. 

And I followed him.

“Look, Kenma I’m not here to fight you know?!”

When he suddenly gave me a glass and poured an expensive red wine.

“Our favorite, Château Lafite 1787. We need to celebrate right?” he smiled at me.

This guy, really.

“You had me there, yeah, we need to celebrate.”

And we both laugh as our antiques already subsided. 

***

“So you finally make up?” Kenma said as we sat at the bench of his balcony.

“Yeah, I also told her that I’m not having an affair.” I sip a little of the wine that tastes like the old days.

“You have to get rid of her, transfer her somewhere far. I can help you with that.”

“I might take your offer. And yes, I’ll definitely need to transfer her.” I said agreeing to his idea. 

“An obsess woman is the most dangerous one. It’s scary. I can’t believe it’s her. She followed you even at your work.” Kenma’s voice is a bit irritated.

“At first I didn’t recognize her, she changed her name and even her appearance. But It’s definitely her. I guess I’m wrong that I followed her every whims, I’m just afraid she’ll hurt Hinari. I’m such a coward.”

I won’t ever forget how Mayuri threats me to hurt my wife if I don't follow what she wants. 

“We should ask a mental institution for that. Leave it to me. I’ll deal with her.” Kenma said as he started typing on his phone. 

“Thank you, Kenma.”

Few seconds later he puts down his phone, “Done, you don’t have to worry about her.”

“That was fast!” I can’t believe how scary his connections are. But I’m amazed at the same time.

“All for Hinari, of course I’ll do anything to keep her safe.” 

There it is, the gentle and fondness he had for her.

Ahhh, I should have been mad at him, but I also love this guy. He’s the best man ever!

“So are you going to confess to her?”

“Will you let me?”

“I don’t mind.”

“You only say that, because you are so confident she won’t run away with me. Ah! So rude of you Kuro!”

“Hey, as if I will let that happen!”

“I need to think of ways to convince Hina that I’m the better guy for her.”

“Kenma stop, you still have the bruises on your face, I feel sorry if I have to add more.”

“Try me,” Kenma confidently said to me with a sharp eye.

And then, we burst out laughing.

This is so hilarious! I miss laughing with my best friend.

This is the first time in a while that we laugh carelessly, sincerely.

“Ah! I know the two of you are here!” 

We both looked at the door way, and saw Hinari walking towards us.

“Seriously, when can I have my own privacy? I can’t believe I gave my password to the two of you?!” Kenma complained but laughed at his own remarks.

“Too bad, we both have it, right Tetsu?” Hina smiling at me, as she put her hands on both of our shoulders.

“She’s right. Who will also remind you to eat or something if we didn’t know your password?” I added and saw him make face.

Hina just laugh at him and we are all laughing right now.

Kenma suddenly smiled gently, “Don’t ever break up, you two. Or I might be forced to kidnap you two and throw you to an isolated island somewhere. You two are my most precious friends, and I wanted you two to be happy. Always.” 

And that’s the sweetest message he ever said to us, and the best compared to his message at our wedding.

And me and Hina already crying, “K-KYAAAAANMAAAAAAAA~!!!” We both said

“HUH?! WHAAAT- NO-! ASHAJDHFJHASKFK!” -Kenma

We both hugged him tightly.

He’s really the best man ever.

***

**A/N updates every FRIDAY..**

Heyya guys, I would like to announce that the series will end until part 15. Thank you for supporting this fanfiction, I really enjoyed writing this. And I had the chance meeting you all. 

Stay tuned for last few chapters. Have a great day ahead!

~

Taglist:

@dekuspet​ @mkkhaikyuu​ @captain-eagle-art​ @rozesarered @kurooloves @elianetsantana @saamsstuff @seijohsangel

[monellabella]

The Starving Games ft. Freddie Weasel: AKA Pt. 1 of my Hunger Games x Harry Potter crossover series (OC x Fred Weasley)

Warnings (None of these are really graphic, but feel free not to read if any of these things make you uncomfortable!!): Blood, knives, knife wound, character death(s), severe injury mention (lost limbs), dead animal mention?? (a rat) 

This is the first fic I’ve ever written! I got the idea from a post I saw from @wand3ringr0s3 Comments and criticism are GREATLY appreciated and it’d be really cool to get some feedback on my writing style!! 

a/n: Also if I do write more, this is gonna be an enemies to allies to lovers situation bc I <3 angst 

Tagging my mutuals: @ourloveisforthelovely @darthwheezely @amrtxntia  @anchoeritic @kellsslut @whizboingies @beiahadid

Darkness. Pure black. I hear noises coming from somewhere. Muffled. Echoing through the endless void around me. The noises become louder. Someone is talking. The more I listen, the louder and clearer they get. Clear enough that I can almost make out the words. Suddenly, everything goes deafeningly quiet. My ears start ringing. But then, a single voice echoes through the silence, “Seph?”. I recognize it immediately. “Maeve?” I call out. “Seph? Is that you?” she responds, her voice shaky with fear. “Yes, yes, Maeve, it’s me. Where are you?”

“I don’t know.” she responds, panic rising in her voice. “Seph, I’m scared.”

“I know. I know, kiddo,” I swallow hard, “Hey. Hey, listen, I’m gonna find you, okay? Just stay calm.”

My heart is racing. I look around for some sort of clue, but nothing but complete darkness surrounds me. I tentatively reach my hand out in front of me. My fingertips graze something. Something cold. I take a step forward and reach out again. My hand finds what feels like a thin chain. I roll it around in my fingers before pulling down on it. The space is immediately flooded with blinding white light. I blink a few times to adjust my eyes to the sudden brightness. I’m at home; a tiny one room flat that I share with my mother, sister, and our cat. Except it’s empty- no furniture, not even a door. I see my sister standing a few feet in front of me, her hands bound together by a thick rope. “Maeve!” I rush towards her. “Seph!” she cries. As I reach out to hug her I’m pushed back by an invisible force. I look up and there she is- standing inside a giant glass dome. I take a few steps back, trying to register what I’m seeing.

“Shall we draw the names?” I whip my head around to see a woman in a magenta frock standing on the other side of the room. Her dress is covered in so many frills and flounces that she takes up half the flat. On her head is a ridiculous blonde wig that must add at least two feet to her height. Her face is covered entirely in white powder, with her cheeks overly rouged, and her top lip painted magenta to match the dress. She looks like a very posh clown.

“I-I’m sorry what?”

She laughs airily, “The names, darling. Surely you remembered?”

“Remember what?”

She tsked then pulled out two smaller versions of the glass dome from the frills at the front of her dress. They each had a small slip of paper in them. “Go on. Pick one.” Her voice was incredibly high-pitched, and she spoke with a capitol accent. I stepped towards her and hesitantly reached into the bowl in her right hand. I unfolded the slip of paper, ‘Maeve Whitlock’. I stared at the name in confusion.

“I don’t understand.”

“Will you take her fate as your own?”

“What do you mean? What fate?”

The woman let out another laugh, this one high and cold, it echoed around the entire room and caused the floor to shake. Suddenly, I heard Maeve call out to me, “SEPH!” I looked back to where she was in the dome. There was a dark, shadowy figure standing behind her, holding a knife to her neck. Her hands and feet were bound to a small wooden chair, and her mouth was now gagged with a dishcloth. I ran towards the dome, panic rising further in my chest. “MAEVE!” I shouted desperately. She looked at me fearfully, tears rolling slowly down her cheeks. I banged and kicked and rammed my body at the glass so hard, I should’ve shattered something. But it was no use. I looked back to where the woman had been standing, but she was gone. The shadowy figure stood still, holding the knife to my sister’s neck.

“LET GO OF HER YOU FREAK!” I cried, banging my fists against the dome. Maeve was panicking now, her chest rising and falling rapidly, tears running down her face, her muffled pleas penetrating through the glass. “MAEVE.” I cried out; my voice cracked as the salty tears streamed down my cheeks. But I was too late. The dark figure suddenly slashed the knife across her throat, her cries stopped and she slumped down into her seat, eyes still half open, blood now seeping into her blouse. “NO!” I screamed, sinking down to the ground. The glass squeaked as my hands dragged down over the exterior. I looked back up towards the shadowy figure, only to see it was no longer there. In its place I saw myself, a satisfied smile on my face. I heard the clownish woman’s disembodied laugh echo through the flat, “What a pity,” the voice said, “you could’ve saved her! But now, I’m afraid, you must face the consequences of your actions.” The clone slowly raised the hand still holding the knife, and pointed directly at me. Suddenly, I felt the cool touch of metal against my throat. The other me winked, and I felt the blade drag deep across my neck. I started to choke, the blood pooling into my airways. I instinctively brought my hand up to the wound. My vision started turning black around the edges. I looked down to see the front of my dress already soaked in red. The last thing I saw was my own hand, holding the knife, droplets of blood falling steadily from the tip of the blade. Then, everything went dark.

My eyes shot open. All I saw was fur, and something was blocking my breathing. I sat up quickly, and the ball of fluff leapt off my face. The cat looked up at me from his new place on my lap- those big amber eyes practically staring into my soul- and meowed loudly. I sighed in annoyance. “Stupid cat.” I grumbled as I lifted him up and let him jump to the floor. I rubbed my eyes and tried to slow my racing heartbeat. My body was covered in a sheen of cold sweat. I looked down at the bed to see my sister still sleeping soundly beside me. I took a deep, shaky breath and stroked the top of her head, moving away some of the stray hairs lying across her face. I glanced over at the digital clock next to me, SUNDAY: JULY 4. 8:26 AM. Today was Reaping Day; no wonder I had that horrible nightmare. This would be my 4th year participating in the drawing, it was Maeve’s first. How unlucky it was that her twelfth birthday had only been three days prior. If she’d just been born a few days later, she could’ve been spared for another year.

I sighed and swung my legs over the side of the bed. My mother was already awake, sewing some buttons back onto Maeve’s school shirt. “Hi, mom.”

“Hi, sweetie. Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah, just now.” I yawned.

“Is Maeve still asleep?”

“Yeah.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 8:30. Should I wake her up?”

“No, it’s okay,” she sighed, “let her sleep some more. I’ll wake her up soon.” She held up the shirt to examine her work, “Still needs a few more stitches…” She held the needle between her teeth and reached down to her sewing basket to grab another spool of thread. I looked down as I felt the cat’s bushy tail brush past my ankles. I knelt down and scratched behind his ears.

“Did you feed Tulip yet?” I asked. The fluffy, tricolor, flat-faced cat was now sitting at my feet, purring contentedly.

“Didn’t have to; he caught his own breakfast. A huge rat, which he so lovingly dropped on my pillow this morning.” My mother replied.

I stifled a laugh.

“Since you’re already up, go ahead and shower. I’ve laid out your clothes for you on the kitchen table, so when you’re done, just change into them and come back here so I can do your hair. Okay?”

“Okay.”

She smiled at me then went back to her work. I grabbed some soap and a clean towel from the small shelf near the entrance and walked out. “Make sure you don’t use up all the hot water!” she called out as I closed the door behind me. “Don’t worry, I won’t!”.

We didn’t have our own bathroom- there was one toilet and one shower per floor, which could be shared by anywhere from 5 to 20 people. There were 5 apartments on each of the 4 floors- all one room- with one bed, a stove, a sink, a small table and chairs, and some shelves for storage. Each apartment had a heater and air conditioner, but they were never guaranteed to work when you needed them. Sometimes only one side of the building would have heating, or only certain floors had AC, or only specific apartments. Often, the whole building wouldn’t have either for days at a time. The same thing happened with the water and electricity. You could never fully rely on any of the appliances being in working order. As a result, we shared a lot with other apartments. If someone’s stove wasn’t working, they could just knock on a neighbor’s door and use theirs. If only one apartment on our floor had heating during the winter, there were no objections when everyone else would come over and make themselves at home. It made it feel like we were all one family, and it was customary to refer to many of your neighbors as your aunt or uncle. This was common throughout the District, as almost everyone aside from the mayor and peacekeepers lived in small, rundown tenements, expanding outwards from the city center, which was home to the Justice building. Here, in District 8, we produce textiles. There are 6 factories in total; one of which is entirely dedicated to making peacekeeper uniforms. We typically start in the factories at 14, splitting the day between school and work. We aren’t assigned specific jobs until we turn 18. Until then, those in charge of production make requests for certain numbers of workers, and we go wherever we’re needed. Once we finish school, we’re assigned permanent job positions based on both our aptitude tests and our performances in various factory tasks. The better you do on the aptitude test, the better (or at least safer) your job will be. Those with the highest scores tend to be assigned as desk jockeys- where the risk of dying on the job is fairly low. Those with the lowest scores are sent to work in the most dangerous parts of the factories; you can always tell who works there because chances are, they’ve lost some part of their limbs...or face...or they’re, you know, missing a hand...Then there’s those whose scores fall somewhere in the middle; if they have a specific skill, like baking, or perhaps healing, they’re assigned a job based on that. The rest are assigned mid-level factory jobs, which were still dangerous, but the chances of getting to keep all your fingers were significantly higher! (But not guaranteed).

When I turned on the shower, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the water was delightfully warm. It took everything in me not to keep standing there, enjoying the warmth, until the water would turn cold. I shivered as I stepped out of the shower and quickly wrapped my towel around me. I walked swiftly down the hall and flung open the door to the apartment. I grabbed my outfit from the kitchen table. A white trapeze-line dress ending an inch or so above my knees, long billowy sleeves pulled tight at the wrists, and a mock turtleneck with tiny ruffles adorning the edge. My shoes sat on the floor next to it; dark blue suede ankle-boots with small square heels.They were a birthday present from my mother; most definitely from the black market. I got dressed and pulled up a stool in front of my mother’s chair. She combed through my curls as gently as she could, but I still winced when she pulled too hard at a knot. She braided four small plaits at the front and sides of my hair, pulling them into two larger braids that she twisted together and pinned to the back of my head. She handed me the mirror. I looked into it and smiled, “It’s beautiful. Thank you.” I turned around and hugged her tightly. She smelled of soap and clean linen, and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on- all I knew was that it was comforting and warm. I held on a little longer than usual. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. She brought her hand up and gently stroked the back of my head. We both knew what could happen today...I tried my best not to think about it. Maeve soon came back from the shower and changed into a mod-style purple dress and black mary janes. My mother braided her hair in a similar style to mine, adding a small flower clip at the side. She looked us once over, nodded, then stood at the mirror and added a few pins to secure her own hairstyle. She sighed, “Ready?”

“Yeah.” “Yeah.” my sister and I said in unison.

My mother chuckled lightly as we stepped through the threshold.

We walked the few blocks over to the underground and boarded the train headed to the Justice building. The train car was packed. Everyone was dressed in their best (and most colorful) outfit. These types of clothes were only worn on special occasions; those above working age wore grey coveralls to work and school, and something drab and ill-fitting otherwise. As we exited the train car, I kept a tight grip on Maeve’s hand. As we emerged from the underground, our eyes were bombarded with light, and I squinted as the brightness flooded my vision. When my eyes adjusted, I spotted the registration table. I gave my mother a brief hug and went to join the girls’ line with Maeve. Soon, we’d reached the front. I looked down at Maeve, “You want me to go first, kiddo?”

She glanced up at me with wide eyes, then stared forward and shook her head. 

“You sure?”

“Mhmm. I just wanna get it over with.”

“Okay.” I hunched over and whispered into her ear, “You’re gonna be fine, I promise. It’s not as bad as you think. I’ll see you in a few minutes, yeah?”

She nodded. I gave her hand a squeeze and watched her walk up to the table. I heard them speaking faintly and a few minutes later, she turned around to look at me, a nervous expression on her face. I gave her a reassuring nod then headed over there myself. 

The woman at the table sat there with a bored expression. She looked to be in her 30’s, but the heavy dark circles under her eyes seemed to age her quite a few years.

“Last name?” She said. She didn’t bother to look up at me. 

“Whitlock.”

“Whitlock…” she muttered, flipping through the pages, “Right, Whitlock. Persephone?” 

“Yeah.” 

She crossed my name off the list. “You’re sixteen?”

“Yes.” 

“Okay,” she sighed, “Hold out your hand, please.” She took a small device next to her and clipped it onto my index finger. I winced when I felt the needle prick my skin. She unclipped the device then stamped my wrist with the capitol’s sigil. 

“You can go join your age group, fourth line from the left.”

“Thanks,” I muttered.

She paused, then looked up at me sympathetically, “And um, good luck.”

I nodded and gave her a curt smile before heading over to join my peers. We were arranged by age and gender, boys and girls separate, all standing in rows in front of the stage. I stood waiting, and mindlessly watched the rows slowly multiply. I didn’t know how much time had passed, but soon enough, I looked up at the stage to see a woman in a bright magenta pantsuit. The hem of her skirt was decorated with a flounce of fabric, and she wore a light pink blouse underneath her suit jacket. The front of it contained so many ruffles, you could hardly see her neck. Her hair was pale blonde, and styled in a way that made it look like a cloud sitting on top of her head. Her face was powdered white, save for her blushed cheeks and glossy lipstick. Her lips were absurdly over lined, both painted a shocking fuchsia that closely matched her outfit. She approached the podium with tiny steps and cleared her throat daintily, “Welcome, everyone, to the reaping ceremony for the 59th annual Hunger Games!” People remained silent; the only reaction being a cough from someone in the crowd. She cleared her throat once more, “As always, we shall begin by watching a special film from the capitol, telling us the history and origins of this unique tradition, and to remind us why we are all standing here today.”

At her words, the two televisions turned on to display the Capitol’s sigil. It faded out, and a film about the glorious history of Panem started rolling. I tuned out and stared blankly at the rows of people ahead of me. When the film concluded, Ms. magenta up at the podium clapped enthusiastically. She was the only one. “Oh, wasn’t that wonderful?” She exclaimed, “What a rich history this nation has.” 

I scoffed, that’s one way to put it, I thought. 

“Now, as always- ladies first.” She stuck her hand into the large glass bowl on the right side of the podium and shuffled her hand through the slips of paper before snatching one up. She gingerly unfolded the paper and held it delicately between her index finger and thumb. 

She cleared her throat and read out the name, “Maeve Whitlock.”

I felt my heart stop in my chest.

No. 

My eyes darted through the crowd and I saw people make way for her as she slowly walked to the stage, shaking with every step. Images from my dream flashed through my mind- most poignantly, the image of me watching helplessly, as a dark shadowy figure slashed a knife across my sister’s throat. Panic rose in my chest; my heart beat so loudly in my ears that I barely heard myself shout, “WAIT!” Everyone turned to look at me. My breathing sped up as I suddenly felt at a loss for air, “I volunteer.” I added, my voice cracking slightly, “I volunteer as tribute.” Maeve looked back at me with pleading eyes and shook her head furiously. I avoided her gaze and stared straight ahead as the crowd parted to allow me through to the stage. I paused to grab Maeve’s hand and squeeze it tightly. I cradled the back of her head and planted a kiss atop her forehead. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as I shakily released her from my grasp and allowed the other girls in the crowd to place a comforting hand on her shoulders as they quietly pulled her away from me. I walked up to the stage and slowly climbed the short flight of steps to then take my place just behind the glass bowl from which my sister’s name was drawn. I can’t believe I’m about to be shepherded to my untimely death because of a stupid glass bowl. I felt my hands getting clammy, and I held to the hem of my dress to keep them from shaking. Ms. Magenta smiled and stepped towards me, “And what is your name, dear?”

“Persephone Whitlock.” I stated.

“And you are…?”

“Her sister.”

“Her sister! Oh, well, of course you are!” she remarked, “Well, that was a very brave thing you just did, Persephone. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that this was a truly inspiring moment! Well done! And may the odds be ever in your favor.” she smiled brightly and turned towards the crowd. There were a few measly claps, but they quickly fell silent. “And now, let us draw our male tribute.” She stepped over to the glass bowl on her left and repeated the process. I stared blankly past the rows of people; only when she read the name was my trance broken, “Frederick Weasley.” A tall, redheaded boy emerged from the crowd. I stared as he made his way up to the podium. I recognized him from school. I didn’t know him well, but I knew he had a twin brother- George, I think- who’d lost an ear in a factory accident a few years prior, and was thus ineligible to compete in the Games, as his injury would be an unfair advantage to the other tributes. Apparently, he’d been checking the cogs underneath a broken machine when it somehow turned on and cut his left ear clean off. It was formally reported as an accident, but it’s been rumored that he did it on purpose. There were no witnesses, so no one can say for sure, but if it was intentional, I can’t say I blame him for doing it. There are very few ways you can get out of the games if you’re under 18- something as extreme as losing an ear would certainly fall under that category. I stared at the redhead as he took his place behind the other glass bowl. He was tall, at least 6 foot 4, and seemed to tower over my own 5 foot 10 frame. I’d always thought I was fairly tall for my age, and was used to surpassing most adults in height; but standing next to him, I felt like a child. His entire body was long and lean, but I could tell from the way his shirt clung to him that he was not just skin and bone. He had a well-structured face. Round brown eyes, thin lips, a prominent, romanesque nose; his jaw was clenched as he stared straight ahead and refused to look at me. Him and his brother were known for pulling pranks and cracking jokes at school- there was a strange, impish quality to his features that unintentionally revealed his penchant for mischief. Every inch of his cool, pale skin was covered in freckles. Despite his pallid complexion, his cheeks always seemed to have a slight blush to them that made everything about him appear bright and lively. However, at the present moment, his face had been drained of all colour, save for a rather sickly green tinge. No wonder he doesn’t want to look at me- poor kid looks like he’s about to puke. Ms. Magenta finally stepped forward, “Excellent! We now have our two lovely tributes! Both of whom will now be escorted into the Justice building to await further instructions; Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!” And with that, the Capitol’s sigil was once again displayed on the TVs, and its anthem blasted through the speakers. Suddenly, I felt four hands grab me by the arms and forcefully pull me backwards. I stumbled slightly, and looked up to see the two peacekeepers responsible. They continued to pull me across the stage before practically shoving me down the stairs and onto the cobblestone street. From the corner of my eye, I could see that my fellow tribute was receiving the same gentle treatment as they dragged- I’m sorry, escorted him- to the large, looming structure behind us. As they “escorted” me towards the building’s heavy brass doors, I looked back frantically, trying to spot my mother and sister. But the crowd had gotten rowdier, and they were all being jammed together as the peacekeepers continued to push them away from the stage. My breathing quickened, and I could feel the blood pumping through every vein in my body. When we reached the threshold, the brass doors opened to reveal a high-ceilinged marble hall, and a rush of cool air escaped them. So THIS is where all our air-conditioning goes, I thought to myself. Every sound echoed through the building’s marble interior. I craned my neck upwards and tried to take in every opulent detail as I was dragged down a hallway and shoved into a small room, where the peacekeepers finally released me from their vice grip. “Wait here,” one of them said. They both left and shut the door behind them. I massaged my sore upper arms. “You didn’t have to pull me so hard, you know!” I shouted at the door, “not like I was planning on going anywhere!”. I sighed and stepped back from the door. “Assholes,” I muttered to myself. I plopped down onto a green velvet armchair and examined my surroundings. The walls and ceilings were paneled in rich, mahogany wood. The square panels above me were covered in intricate carvings, complementing the elaborate crystal chandelier hanging in the center. While I assumed the floor was wood, it was hard to tell because of the heavy oriental rugs that adorned its surface. There were two large windows behind me, both framed by plush velvet curtains. They were the same emerald green as the chair, and were tied back with a thick, gold rope that had tassels on the end of it, so as to allow in natural light. There was not much furniture in the room aside from two armchairs- one of which I already occupied- a round, wooden coffee table between them, and two empty bookshelves inlaid in the wall on either side of the room. A thin blue vase containing a single white rose sat in the center of the coffee table. The smell of it was unnaturally overpowering. Something about it made me uneasy, so I carefully pushed it to the far side of the table and shifted away from it. I unconsciously started chewing on my lip. I couldn’t sit still. Sitting there shaking my leg, or playing with the hem of my dress, wasn’t helping. I let out a frustrated groan and jolted up from my seat. I continued to chew my lip as I restlessly paced back and forth across the room. The heavy rugs didn’t hide the creaking of the floorboards as I stomped across them. After what felt like hours, I heard the door creak open. I stopped in my tracks and ran to the door to greet my mother before she’d even entered the room. Her and my sister enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug which I eagerly returned. The peacekeeper standing behind them cleared his throat. We slowly let go of each other and turned to face him. “You have ten minutes to say goodbye- not a second more.” he said in a gruff voice. As my mother and sister stepped fully into the room, the peacekeeper roughly shut the door behind them and left. 

END OF PART ONE

a/n: If you’ve made it this far,  1. Hi, I love you 2. Will I write more for this series? To quote John Mulaney, “Who’s to say?”. 

[mermaidcashton]

i hate to admit it

author: claire (@mermaidcashton) ship: michael clifford/reader prompt/AU: this is a gift for the wonderful @h0tsos who wanted soft, subby Michael in an enemies to lovers capacity (and i snuck some coffee shop!au in there as well, and some weebness because, well, it’s Steff and Michael) wordcount: 4k+ warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions, explicit sexual content a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (which was a gift exchange this time around) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘this means war’ by mariana’s trench • ‘my hero academia’ is a manga/anime series. there are references to it and a few of the characters in this but you don’t need to know anything about it to understand what’s going on.

i hate to admit it *** “So, they’re like...superheroes?” 

Luke sipped on his glass of rosé, nodding like he understood whilst making a face that showed he absolutely did not.

“Yeah, dude, pretty much!” Michael nodded along with your co-worker with so much enthusiasm he looked like one of those dogs people put on their dashboards. Except less cute. Wait, no - not cute. Definitely not cute at all. Good save, you. Couldn’t have your own internal monologue thinking you felt anything for the moron you were forced to work with 3 times a week was anything more than an annoyance you had to endure. With a butt that wouldn’t quit. Dammit, self! 

Michael took advantage of Luke showing an interest in his (and yours) favourite anime, and began bombarding him with half baked theories, predictable favourite scenes and shitty character analysis. He nearly knocked his own hat off as he flailed his hands around in an attempt at explaining the dynamics of a battle from the second season. Luke smiled politely. 

You snorted into your drink as you drained the last of it; you were definitely going to need another. If Michael started fanboying over Deku again, you were going to scream.

As you placed the empty bottle onto the wood of the coffee table, you took another glance around the apartment you were in. You’d never been up here before, despite spending a minimum of 20 hours a week in the coffee shop downstairs. But after this evening’s staff meeting tackling such issues as ‘who forgot that milk needs to be kept in the fridge overnight’ (Luke), ‘who is putting too much whipped cream on hot chocolates’ (Michael), and ‘who wrote ‘THIS COFFEE IS HOT, BUT U R HOTTER ❤ ) on a customers caramel macchiato’ (Luke again), Ashton had invited you all upstairs for a ‘employee chill’. You had been surprised a week or so into your employment when you had found out that the manager was also the owner who lived in the apartment above Screamin’ Beans; he was only in his mid twenties, but the more you’d experienced his drive and determination, the more your surprise had dwindled. Ashton really was a great guy, with one big flaw; Michael. They had been best friends for years, hence him moving into the apartment when he came back into town and the job Ashton had given him; which in your humble opinion was the equivalent of setting a monkey loose on the milk frother.   

Michael had sealed his fate with you the same day he’d started work. He arrived 10 minutes late (from upstairs), sleepy eyed and shy smiled. His fluffy blonde hair was spilling out of his beanie, and he kept biting his very pink lip bottom with sharp little teeth. The way he pronounced your name was adorable. You’d burned your hand on the espresso machine. Strike one. Things unravelled quickly after that. He was ‘too shy’ to take orders and work the register so you were stuck there all day talking to goddamn customers about why it wasn’t a good idea to have 3 pumps of every syrup while he hid behind silver machinery and dirtied way more jugs than you deemed necessary. Strike two. And then he’d dropped a latté into that ladies bag - sorry, very expensive bag. Michael had let out a ‘uuuhhh’ sound like a malfunctioning robot without moving for so long that the furious customer had stopped trying to yell at him and focused her rage on you instead. When he had eventually come to whatever passed for his senses, Michael had power walked into the employee bathroom and didn’t return until Calum arrived to join the shift and assured him the woman had left, twenty minute later. You were beyond strikes. You’d been so sure you could talk Ashton into scheduling you together as little as possible. There was no reason to put you down to work nearly every shift together, especially shifts where only two staff were on! Except, apparently there was because he kept fucking doing it. Every time you pressed Ashton on it, he’d say something about how he needed Michael ‘trained by the best’, or ‘matching availabilities’, or he thought their ‘energies combined well; auras are meshing, y’know?’ The one might have been on you for catching him as he was returning from his Vibe Check Yoga class at the studio down the street. 

He’d also emphasised that Michael needed more friends now he was back in the city, and you two had loads in common! You both liked pop punk! You’d rolled your eyes. And Italian food! A ‘tch noise. And anime! Okay, you’d bite. 

The next time you’d gone into work, you’d engaged Michael in a conversation about ‘Tokyo Ghoul’ and recommended ‘Demon Slayer’; things started to pick up. You didn’t fantasise about locking Michael in the walk-in fridge the whole shift. And then…

“You watch ‘My Hero Academia’, right?” “Uh, yeah! I love it.” “Me too! I just ordered a Todoroki tee yesterday. And another Deku one, of course; gotta rep my main man!” “Oh..cool! He’s your favourite?” Of course Michael was a basic bitch. But hey, that’s fine. Deku was fine. He was the main character, after all. And he’s a little less whiny in the recent manga issues, you guess. And the way Michael’s face was right now - open, comfortable, lit up like the 4th of July? That was good, too. His eyes were so green.  “Yeah! Who’s your favourite character?” “Well, I would die for a bunch of ‘em, but I’m a Bakugou girl at heart.” You laid a palm flat on your chest, choosing to ignore the feel of your heart beating faster than it had been five minutes ago beneath it.  Michael wrinkled his nose. “Bakugou? But he’s like...he’s so mean! And angry!”

Oh no. You’d had this conversation before. You locked eyes with Michael, hoping he could see the warning in your eyes. Don’t do it, ho.

“Like, he’d probably make a better villain than hero!”

“You okay, boo?” Calum slid into the space on the couch beside you, holding out a fresh beer for you to take. “You look deep in thought.”

You hummed and accepted the bottle from him, letting go of your train of thought as you caught sight of Luke trying to prove he could get his overly long leg behind his head. Michael and Ashley F. were both actively trying to avoid getting kicked in the face with a sparkly boot, whilst Ashton was just monitoring the situation very intently; you’re not entirely sure when he last blinked. 

You snorted again as Luke’s foot slotted into place in a position you were 85% sure he would not be able to get out of again without assistance, possibly from the emergency services.

“I’m fine. Gotta be one of us capable of thinking here, y’know.” You teased, looking sidelong at Calum. He laughed, rubbing a hand over his freshly shaved hair; he’d always been as easy to get along with as he was obnoxiously handsome. “Hey! You’re lucky I know you’re talking about the human pretzel over there! And I guess, your boyf-” Big brown eyes glittered at you over the hand you’d slapped over his mouth. “-fwendth.” Narrowing your own eyes at your friend, you hissed. “Shut up! I would rather die.” Calum waggled his eyebrows incessantly at you until you relented and dropped your hand. “You knew who I was talking about, though.” Ugh. Smug was not a good look on Calum. “You know, smug is not a good lo-oh fuck, is that the time?” The clock behind Calum’s head showed 8:58; your auction ended at 9:00. You fumbled into your bag for your phone, unlocking it and flicking straight to the app you needed. Phew - still the top bid. “Whatcha doin’?” Calum hooked his chin over your shoulder, blowing your hair out of his face before settling down. 

“Bidded on a really cool, limited edition figure. One of my all time favourite anime characters. The auction is about to end.” You explained,  making sure Calum could hear you other the cacophony of sounds associated with Luke trying to get his other leg behind his head. You both watched the seconds tick down, your username sitting securely by the words ‘Winning Bid’. At two seconds to nine, the page refreshed, then refreshed again; it was over.

‘Winning Bid: BIGRED69’ “Uh...what happened? That’s not you, right?” Calum asked, tilting his head to look at your face, and the rage it contained. BIGRED69. He’d done it again. 

“Uh oh, Y/N - what’s wrong?” Ashton’s voice pulled you out of your internal screaming, and you looked up at him. 

“She’s losing her weeb shit at a heavy eBay loss” Calum answered for you, nodding solemnly as he pulled away from you, giving you room to bonk him with a cushion. “Oh! That’s too bad, but that’s another thing you and Mikey have in common!” Ashton beamed. “Mikey!” Oh no. Oh no, no.

“Yeah?” Michael sloped over, getting his black boot caught on the corner of the leopard print rug as he did. Ashton caught him with an ease you suspected (knew) came from practice. “Why don’t you take Y/N to see your anime dolls? She collects them, too!” Ashton looked so pleased with himself and his suggestion for further ‘bonding’ for you and Michael, and Michael looked like he’d been force fed raw lemon at the phrase ‘anime dolls’, so you let it go on your own behalf. Except now Michael was waiting expectantly for you to follow him to his room and Calum was shoving you off of the couch to get you moving. Fuck your life. You sighed as you got up and started walking. “Fine, let’s go; you can show me your Todoroki body pillow and then we can get on with our lives.” Michael let out a small hiss like an angry kitten, his cheeks colouring a pretty pink. He spared a glance at everyone left in your wake. “I, um, don’t have a body pillow, you guys.” “Suuuuure!” You rolled your eyes, waiting for Michael to enter his bedroom so you could follow. The blonde flicked the light on and moved slightly further in so you could pass him, before shutting the door with a small ‘click’. You decided not to comment on this action, looking around at the posters on the walls and figurines on the shelves instead. You were undecided on whether or not you were going to comment on how cool a lot of Michael’s shit was. A ‘Full Metal Alchemist’ poster over his bed, a full shelf of Funko Pops from movies you loved, framed prints of album artwork by Waterparks and The Maine. Fuck. You were really aware of Michael staring at you with an almost hopeful (?) look on his face as you let your eyes travel around his room before he could show you his ‘anime dolls’. Fuck. Your stomach felt fluttery, and you thought you might have a serious problem here, before you caught sight of a very different problem on Michael’s desk. 

A rare Kirishima Eijirou statue - box signed by the voice actor - you’d been outbid on last month. By BIGRED69. What were the chances a different one was sitting by Michael’s laptop?

“So,” You said, trying to keep your voice neutral and non-murderous. “Where do you get your collectibles from?” “Forbidden Planet, Tokyo Toys, eBay…” Michael rattled off, until you interrupted him. “Where did you get that one? Looks rare - it must have been difficult!” 

“Oh! eBay! It was, but I have an app for it, so…” Michael grinned, looking pleased with himself. An app? “An automatic bidding app? You sniped me?! That’s cheating!” You squeaked; you could not believe this. It was unbelievable.

Michael blinked at you, head empty. “BIGRED69?!” You managed to make the world’s stupidest screen name sound like a terrible accusation. Which it was.

Comprehension dawned on his stupid, beautiful face all at once. “Oh my God! That was you that I’ve been fighting for this stuff? No way! But you didn’t know it was me?”

“Why the hell would I know it was you!” You threw your hands up, and Michael just stared dopily back at you.

“‘Bigred69?! Obviously I assumed you were 12!” Michael let out a squawk of protest, before folding his arms defensively across his chest.

“Clifford!” “What?” Michael’s tone became more insistent. “My last name! Clifford!” You pulled an exaggerated ‘so?!’ face, throwing your hand in the air again. 

Michael had the unmitigated gall to huff, like you were the biggest idiot in the room; like he wasn’t always the biggest idiot in every room, all rooms, ever, in the history of rooms. “Clifford the Big Red Dog!” He said, insistence heavy in the words.

You often swore you could almost hear the old internet dial up tone trilling inside Michael’s brain when customers at the coffee shop asked him such difficult questions as “What dairy alternative milks do you carry?”, “Where is the bathroom?”, and even once - you swear - “What’s your name?”. In Michael’s defence, that last one had been asked in more flirtatious-than-not tone by a brunette who clearly had some kind of vision problem (he’d been dressed more horrendously than usual that day beneath his uniform apron; was that a utility vest?!), but had fluttered her eyelashes at your idiot colleague so hard, for so long, you’d been concerned she’d be leaving without what little vision she’d arrived with. But still. Idiot. Michael, not you. And yet, now it was you with your brain puttering through the information you had with the shrill electronic sound of the 90’s in your head. “Clifford the- are you for fucking real?” This could not be real life.

“It’s totally clever!” Michael asserted, continuing in earnest once you scoffed in reply. “No, listen! Because of Clifford, and also, I had red hair when I made it, and 69 is funny - it is! - and, well-” His face flushed slightly before he puffed his chest out a little, apparently deciding to commit to his defence of his screen name. “I’m big, so it works on like, loads of levels!” 

This could not be happening to you. You were decidedly not standing in the bedroom of a coworker you simultaneously couldn’t stand and also couldn’t stop thinking about kissing as you restocked the counter fridges in the evenings, as he explained that his auction site handle was a combination of a previous dye job, an insinuation about his dick and a massive fucking dog. You could not let Michael have the upper hand here, but you were floundering. So you fell into more familiar, more pathetic territory. 

“If you were called something like ‘deku-loving-loser’, then, sure - I would have known it was you!” “Who’s 12 now?!” “Uh, still you!” Okay, so this wasn’t your finest moment, but you were in it now. And you’d really wanted the Kaminari figure tonight. Michael didn’t even like him that much!

“The point is, you totally sniped me! And you get stuff about basic canon wrong! And your understanding of the characters is one dimensional! And, and...your hat is stupid!” Well, shit. In your defence, Michael’s hat was stupid. You could feel how hot your face was, and Michael’s eyes looking right at it was only making it worse. You couldn’t read his expression at all; he looked like he was searching for something, and you didn’t know what it was, or if he’d find it. You could only assume he had when he took the most decisive steps you’d ever seen him take, reaching you in two huge steps and cupping your face with both hands. Michael kissed in a way he didn’t do anything else; he felt sure and certain as he pressed his lips to yours, moving them with intent. Your brain became overtaken with television static almost immediately as you moved your mouth in time with his, opening your mouth immediately at the questioning press of his tongue. You had enough of yourself left aware to yank his stupid fucking hat off his head as you tangled your fingers in his blonde hair, Michael’s hands sliding down to clutch at your waist as you swayed with the kiss. As Michael pulled back ever so slightly, you took the opportunity to press your teeth into his plush bottom lip, the way you’d thought of doing in afternoon slumps on shift. The whine that came from deep in Michael’s throat made a split second decision for you. 

You pulled back further from Michael, yanking your top off in one go and starting in on the buttons of his black shirt before he fully registered the sight of your bra and the top of your full breasts.  

“Shit, Y/N, are you…” Michael trailed off as you pulled his sleeves down his arms, and the shirt off this body. Your eyes met his as you popped the button on his black jeans and placed your hand on his zipper. “Do you really want me to overthink this, Michael?” A moment’s pause, then he shook his head vigorously, leaning down to pull his boots off once you’d yanked his jeans to his knees. By the time he was left in his (funnily enough, black) boxer briefs, you’d discarded your own jeans and were knelt at the foot of his bed in your soft, lilac underwear. Michael’s breath hitched as his gaze drifted down your body, taking it all in under the artificial light of the room. “Get over here, Clifford…” You teased, trying not to second guess what was happening. Michael broke out of his trance and more or less threw himself onto the bed, settling his head on the pillows and pulling you on top of him for another kiss, and then another, and another. By the time you pulled back to catch your breath, your head was spinning. You braced yourself on your forearms on the bed, taking the time to admire Michael’s body beneath you. 

You’d seen the tattoos on his pale, strong arms before, but they looked different in this context; the contrast between the milky skin and dark ink made your stomach swoop. The blonde hair on his head is also a contradiction; to the dark hair on his chest and the hair trailing down his stomach and disappearing under his waistband. Your mouth felt very dry as you let your gaze continue downward, to the straining bulge beneath the fabric.

You flicked your eyes back to meet Michael’s in question, your fingers suddenly resting on the waistband of his underwear. Michael swallowed thickly, and then nodded once before fixing you with a gaze of pure anticipation. 

No use waiting around. You propped yourself up onto your knees over him and pulled on the fabric decisively, not stopping your motion until his underwear bunched up at his ankles. Holy shit.

You always knew Michael had to have at least one redeeming quality, and you’d finally found it. His cock was huge, hanging heavy and hard between his fuzzy thighs. The head was flushed the darkest pink you could ever remember seeing, and the slit was already shiny with precum. 

If a voice in your head that sounded unfortunately like Calum pressed that Michael had lots of qualities you secretly found redeeming, you ignored it in favour of getting straight to business.

“FUCK! FUCKIN-” 

Apparently, Michael hadn’t been prepared for you to take half of his impressive length into your mouth in one go. You sucked with intent, casting your eyes up to take in the sight of him. His pupils were already starting to blow, and you’d barely done anything. God, that was so sweet.

But then Michael threaded his fingers through your hair, his hand pressing ever so slightly into your scalp. The blonde wasn’t pushing down, but his grip was firm. You could feel the weight of his hand on the top of your head as you held his cock in your mouth, and that shit? Would not stand.

You grab the wrist brushing your hair a second before your other hand finds his idle one, fingers twisted loosely in the sheets. Once you’ve captured both wrists, you guide both to the same point above Michael’s hips, before slamming both into the mattress with purpose. 

If you’d had time to think about it, you’re not sure how you would have expected Michael to react. He didn’t really put out the energy of a man who’d properly fight you for control, either in a domineering way or with more of an air of fragile masculinity. Perhaps a bit of questioning but ultimately compliant as long as he got his dick sucked. But the wanton moan that kicked out of Michael’s chest as you settled into a tight grip on his wrists where you had them pinned on the sheets with intent? That was unexpected. That was interesting.   

Your mouth had remained still on his cock whilst you got his wrists pinned down, more cockwarming him than blowing him. But now you had him so pliant and under your control, it was go time. You pulled back up his cock, wrapping your lips tightly around the head of Michael’s cock, and sucked with gusto. Another groan from above you. You worked your tongue all the way around the head before pulling back enough to flick it into Michael’s sensitive slit. “Oh my fuuu- Y/N, God, I-” Michael was starting to writhe, his hairy legs rubbing into the sheets beneath you. You could feel his wrists moving along with the rest of his body, but you knew you’d made it clear you’d wanted him pinned, and he made no move to get his hand free. Good boy. You sank steadily back down Michael’s length, at least to the six inch mark, before pulling back up, hollowing your cheeks as you went. Back down a little further, then up, back to teasing the head, using your tongue. Michael couldn’t predict what you were going to do next, and it was clearly pushing all of his buttons. You could taste the precum that his cock kept kicking out into your mouth and throat, and see the flush spreading down his neck. By the time you’d pulled, drool beginning to build at the sides of your mouth, Michael was a mess, moaning as much as he was breathing. This could get addictive, you thought to yourself as you let your mouth drop to his balls, and your thumbs press into the pulse points on his wrists. You hummed before you released his left ball from your mouth with a wet pop, and that’s when Michael started begging. “Please, please, Y/N, I wanna-” he panted, cutting himself off over and over. “You’re so beautiful, lemme- God, fuck, it feels so amazing, you’re- I’ve been good, I’ll do anything, please…”

You pretend to consider his pleas as you dragged your tongue over his right ball, dipping into all the creases and leaving them wet behind you. Drawing back up onto your knees, you released one of his wrists so you could push his sweaty blonde bangs back from where it was plastered to his forehead, drinking in the vision before you. His green eyes were nearly completely black, blown out with arousal. The sheen on the skin of his face and body made him glow. His lips were chapped from his teeth tugging on them, and the pink of the matched the flush spread from his cheeks down his chest. And the wrist you were no longer restraining hadn’t moved a centimeter, still pressed firmly to the mattress. Michael was a good boy. And you knew how to treat good boys. With no preamble, you took Michael back into the wet heat of your mouth, relaxing your throat and not stopping until your nose was buried in the soft thatch of trimmed hair on his crotch. You took a moment to situate yourself and enjoy the deep whines bursting out of Michael’s throat into the quiet of his bedroom, before you began to move again, swallowing around his cock. You saw his thighs begin to tremble to the side of you before you heard him speak. “Fuck, fuck, Y/N, please, I’m gonna-” You hummed as hard as you could, pushing Michael’s wrists with that little bit more force into the bed as you did. Michael let out his loudest whine yet - bordering on a sob- as he came, shooting down your throat as he writhed beneath you. 

You swallowed everything he gave you, and when you were sure he was finished, you pulled off slowly, and gently, releasing his wrists as you stood back up on your knees.

Michael looked blissed out, staring dreamily up at you with bright, adoring eyes. He still was yet to move his hands. “Hey.” “Hi.” You smirked down at him. “I believe I heard something about you’d ‘do anything’?” You shot a quick glance at the figurine on his desk, and down at yourself. “I had some ideas…” 

collab masterlist • my masterlist

[knifehappybastard]

~ PURR ~

[Pairing: HABITxDamsel (by extension EvanxSteph) from EverymanHybrid

Category: Fluff? For HABIT? It E X I S T S ?!

Warnings: HABIT being HABIT

Words: 857]

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"-an?" HABIT's eyes open before it registers she's been calling his name. His vision is still fuzzy with sleep, and he turns on his back as Damsel moves to lay herself over him, her weight aiding to calm his, well- the host's racing heart. It hadn't been a nightmare. 

"You were...being weird in your sleep again," she admits, and it only makes him grumble in mock agreement, he wasn't sure how long it was going to take before the girl realised he had control most days. 

Then again, he could give her back the man she'd fallen in love with, but what was the fun in that; just to have her pouting and all depressy when he took over again? Not HABIT's style.

It's a low laugh, and he turns his head to look at her, she's curled into his side, one leg thrown over his, head resting on his chest- that thick artificially darkened hair was so easy to braid and tangle in his hands, the sounds he'd pull from her with- "Can't be worse than normal." 

He feels her shake her head, soft lips press against his flesh before Damsel's head lifts.

He blinks - with it being so dim in the room, any light is going to make his eyes have that stupid cat glow to them. All the fucking cat similarities, I suppose I deserve this. I do call them rabbits after all.

"No, you were yelling and purri-" she stills, word dying on her lips. There, she knows. 

"You didn't know humans are capable of that, did you? See, it's back to those primal tendencies- ways things won't be fucked up because they're base instinct. Like a pack of wolves picking off the sick calf - all that hunting shit." HABIT scoffs, his current host has an affinity for knives (which absolutely thrills him) yet the girl said host is dating clearly has no idea how deep that affinity and knowledge really goes.

He says hunting and her eyes seem to dart left, then right, as if looking for something.

"That's base instinct, but it's not threatening." She refutes, trying to still come to terms with the fact that she'd go to bed with Evan and wake up with HABIT, or viceversa, or- she doesn't like to think about the times it happened mid-sex. That was always an experience in itself.

"Not threatening?" HABIT's tone is lighter, he's amused, borderline playful. "Oh, honey, I can show you threatening."

One hand moves to grab for the nape of her neck, so he can get a grip and kiss her, but as he moves she faintly protests. 

"Don't."

He pauses. 

"What was that?" He's not sure if he likes this, she sounds defeated and not scared, tired and ready to give up. 

"Don't." She repeats, sighing now.

His brows furrow. Why the fuck- hesitantly, to test it, he adjusts them so he's sitting up slightly, she still leaning into him. He's careful to be nose to nose with her, violet gaze locked against her own. And then, out of curiosity, he purrs.

It's soft, a warm rumbling from somewhere towards the mid of his throat. There's an intonation behind it, much like the innocence of a cat asking a question. Surely this can't-

But it is, or atleast appears to be that way. 

"You're not shaking, you're not scared- you're not even trying to leave the room." He's mildly amazed, had she finally realised that HABIT was here to stay?

"It's comforting." 

HABIT blinks. And blinks. And blinks.

"My purring...is...comforting?" And now he's throughly confused, humans could be so easy to misunderstand. 

Damsel nods.

"Just- don't show me threatening. I like it being comforting, I just- I've never heard either of you do that before, which is why I woke you up." 

He nods in understanding, smirking a bit before purring again, only to watch her smile. This was strange, but maybe he could get used to being…what was it the humans called it? Affectionate? No, he wasn't… didn't like to be. But HABIT knew she and the host were closer, so he figured he'd attempt some sort of...equality, even if she could tell who was in control. 

She yawned around the 4th time, and one hand lifted to her hair to run fingers through it instead of pulling at it like he'd planned. 

"Sleep. I guess I'll sit here and do this till you knock out." 

What the fuck is getting into me?

"Habit, I- thank you. For listening. It's… nice for a change." Damsel points out, laying back down, though she turns away from him so his arm goes around her waist as his lips brush her ear and he pulls her against him. 

Maybe she doesn't have to be terrified of him after all. He's learning. One hand hesitantly grabs his and slides it, and she exhales heavily - Evan knew, she was sure HABIT knew by now as well.

He scoffs, thankful the dark is camouflaging whatever fucking tint his cheeks have when he feels Damsel move his hand over her stomach and the whatever-small-animal-size-now human residing there.

"Whatever."

[yume-x-hanabi]

Echoing Song ~Kresnik Fragments~ (4th Night)

This is a translation of the fourth short story from the Tales of Xillia 2 Official World Guidance book. Prepare tissues.

--

The World Riding On A See-Saw

“Aah! I’m against tomatoes!” Elle’s tantrum could be heard all throughout the vegetable corner.

“They’re not just tomatoes, they’re cherry tomatoes. Aren’t they cute? You should try them at least once.”

“Boo! I won’t get tricked by a cute name!”

“Hey! Stop yelling, it’s embarrassing!”

Ludger and Elle both turned to me at the same time. “You’re the loudest one here.”

A nearby client snorted. My cheeks turned red. “You’re the ones who’re making me raise my voice!”

“Meow...” Rollo seemed to sigh in his carrier.

It had been a while since Spirius gave us a break. I was dragged on grocery shopping with Ludger and Elle.

Ludger looked like he was having fun as he pushed the cart around. Didn’t he have anything better to do on his rare holidays? … Well, not like I’m one to talk.

Setting foot in Trigleph’s giant supermarket was a shocking experience. A staggering amount of food was lined up in this stupidly huge building, in which more than ten times the total population of Nia Khera came and went to do their shopping. And perhaps the most incredible was that the food was replenished as soon as it was sold.

I had no idea there was such a world outside of Rieze Maxia… No, it was more that I had severed my ties to that world when I received my mission, because everything about the food lined up here—its production, export, sale—was based on devices using spyrix technology.

“Why do you hate tomatoes so much?” Ludger asked Elle.

“Because they’re all squishy and mushy.”

“But you like eggs, don’t you? Aren’t they squishy and mushy as well?”

They continued their chit-chat, ignoring how I was lost in thought. It was hard to believe this was an agent who destroyed worlds.

“Don’t compare eggs and tomatoes! It’s an affront to eggs!”

Elle tried to sound mature—and where did she learn that kind of expression anyway?—but the effect was a bit lost with her brown pigtails bouncing.

“Do you even know what an affront is?”

“I-I know! It’s when you make fun of someone.”

“Hmm. If you say so.”

“Hey! That’s an affront to me!”

Oh, so she understood after all. When you thought she was just trying to have the last word, it turned out she actually got the essential part down.

Ludger and Elle’s argument eventually settled on the decision to make rice omelette for dinner. In other words, Elle won. She marched toward the egg’s aisle with a triumphant look on her face.

“How soft.”

“Hm? Oh, she wants the sauce to be demi-glace. Instead of the usual, she asked me to cover the rice with a soft, fluffy omelet, like a bride’s lacy dress. She saw it on TV, apparently.”

“Not the food. You.”

Ludger’s eyes clouded from my brusque words. “That’s not true,” he answered bitterly.

I suddenly felt like water filled my lungs. …Ah, right. There was no way he was soft.

After all, you deceived me, killed my sister, and destroyed my world. What’s the point of acting humble now? It’s not like I’d ever forgive you. You, whose job is to destroy other people’s worlds. I’ll never forgive—

“Ludger! I found cheap eggs!”

The icy tension between Ludger and I was broken by Elle’s innocent voice. She was running toward us holding a pack of eggs.

“Look! It’s only 20 gald for a pack of six!”

“Don’t run! It’s dangerous.”

Just when Ludger yelled that, Elle ran into a cart pushed by a middle-aged woman.

“Elle!!” I screamed.

Packs of food and vegetables fell on the floor in slow-motion.

 Fortunately, Elle’s only injuries were slightly scrapped knees. However, Ludger was forced to pay for the food that was ruined due to her carelessness.

“You’re really stupid!” I told Elle. Relief turned my worry into anger.

We were sitting on a bench on the place in front of the supermarket. Elle’s clothes were sticky with egg yolk, and she looked dejected. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. At least you didn’t get hurt,” Ludger replied, wiping her shirt with a towel. He was being soft again.

Dude, that’s not how… Wait, why am I feeling so shaken?

“But you learned a lesson, didn’t you? Be more aware of your surroundings next time.”

“…Okay.”

I gasped.

Sparks ignited through my head. This was just like… just like the words of my sister when she protected me from Exodus fifteen years ago.

“You learned a lesson, didn’t you? You have to be more careful, Milla.”

“But… Muzét… Your eyes…”

Stop! Is this a joke!? It’s just eggs! Muzét lost her light because of that injury! That’s why she started hating me and she…

She…

“Unfortunately, the omelette will have to wait. …I’m broke.”

“You need to work, right? I’ll help!”

Like mirrors, the two smiled at each other.

“It’s not funny! Think of how it’d feel to be destroyed for some omelette!” Before I knew it, I had started screaming. “Destroying worlds! That’s what you mean by ‘work’!!”

“W-What’s wrong, Milla?” Elle asked in a shaky voice.

When I came to my senses, I was running through the streets aimlessly. There was nowhere I could go in this spyrix-infested world. My chest felt like it was going to burst open, but I couldn’t stop running.

 I knew what they were going through. I didn’t want to understand, but I did.

I kept screaming in my mind, and after running around for a while, I ended up at the park in front of Ludger’s apartment building. There was a long shadow basked in sunset. It looked silly, trembling along my unsteady breathing.

“Well, of course. It’s my shadow after all.”

I felt so tired… I sat down on a see-saw.

“In the end, there’s nowhere I can go…”

I sat alone in a city of steel and stone and spyrix.

An unknown city. Unknown people. An unknown world. The only thing that felt real was the warmth of my knees as I hugged them to my chest.

The shadow at my feet smiled faintly. “Haven’t you always been alone?” it said.

Back in Nia Khera, I knew the believers’ faces, but not their names. I didn’t know anything—not the meaning of my mission nor the true shape of the world. I didn’t know anything, did I?

“…No!”

I had a sister. A kind sister.

The shadow swayed eerily and whispered. “But that Muzét died because of you.”

No!

“Because you betrayed her.”

No!

“You killed her.”

No!

“She died hating you.”

No, no, no!!

I gasped. The shadow swirled and from its center came out my sister’s silhouette. I held my breath. Blood oozed from her mouth. A lance was sticking out from her chest and she glared at me, screaming…

“Milla!”

Something warm appeared by my side suddenly and called my name.

I raised my head and saw my red-eyed reflection in wide turquoise eyes. Elle’s face was so close I was startled. She looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t know how to word it. What a silly face. Heh heh heh… It’s funny how her feelings showed on her face, clear as day.

The moment I let out a breath, Elle jumped into my arms and hugged me. Just like that time when my world shattered.

“Don’t worry me like that! I thought you disappeared for good!”

Why was she angry? It didn’t make any sense. But…

“…I’m sorry.” I found myself apologizing, though I did not know what for.

The piece of board holding me and Elle creaked and lifted us in the air.

“Uwah!” Elle squealed excitedly, clinging to me.

On the other side of the see-saw were Ludger and Rollo. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to word it. Pfft, peas in a pod, those two.

“Milla, the see-saw!” Elle adjusted her posture in my lap and rocked her body.

How complacent. The shadow sneered again. Playing with those who robbed you of—Yes, you’re right. I know that, painfully. But… Still…

“You know, that’s the first time I ride a see-saw!” Elle exclaimed.

My reflection in her turquoise eyes smiled.

I started rocking the see-saw vigorously, stomping on the shadow with all my force.

“Me too, actually!”

The world swayed, Elle laughed.

Ludger started humming a funny song following the rhythm of the see-saw going up and down. Elle joined him. How carefree, Mr. world-destroying agent. But that song felt nostalgic, as though I had heard it before… Should I start humming too? Only if I feel like it.

Ludger and Rollo. Elle and I. Back and forth. Up and down. The “world” riding on a see-saw in the corner of a city colored in dusk did indeed seem balanced.

 Extract from Spirius Corporation archives

Name: Ludger Will Kresnik

Address: Frères Apartments, Room 302, Trigleph

Date of birth: Primia 4285

Home situation: Foundling. Deposited at Zorya General Hospital, Trigleph. Family register and parents’ names unknown. Raised in Rodo Private Orphanage. Adopted in Primia 4290. Dependent of Julius Will Kresnik (foster brother).

Information compiled by: Julius Will Kresnik, Examiner

* P.S.: Evidence of tampering with the above data was found. Permission to investigate granted.

Signed, Vera Lou Leshy CEO’s Secretary

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch.21: Simple as That

WORD COUNT: 5.8K 

A/N: Enjoy!!! I’m lowkey liking Sammi being with Nikki OOPS

WARNINGS: Language. 

TAGS: @madamsixx​

Read on Ao3 

Previous/Next

July 4th, 1984

Fireworks burst in the air to perform for the guests at Grand Park, families, and couples spread out on the grass. Music played in the distance on giant speakers, blasting ‘Jessie’s Girl’ along with other pop songs. “God, Mick. When did my life become this fucking song?” groaned Nikki, leaning against a tree as he drank from his beer bottle. Mick chuckled dryly, seeing Nikki’s inner crisis. He only shrugged his shoulders, sipping on his beer as Mick watched the firework show. “Maybe you should’ve told her how you felt,” muttered Mick. Nikki rolled his eyes, chugging the rest of his beer. “Thought I had made it pretty clear before,” said Nikki, looking out to see a happy dad play with his son. Mick whipped his head as fast as he could to Nikki, scowling with lips partially open, “The fuck did you just say?” Nikki cleared his throat, meeting Mick’s gaze. “Nothing, Mick. I just thought my horrible flirting would help,” trailed off Nikki. 

“Well just like you call her, the Princess needs a lot more than shit flirting to win her over,” said Mick,  finishing his beer. “Yeah, but a guy who’s the biggest manwhore shouldn’t have won. Just waiting 'til he fucks up,” said Nikki, couldn’t help but long at the father and son. 

“You really think he’s gonna fuck up fast?” asked Mick, getting a shit-eating grin from Nikki.

June 5th, 1985

 Brightness crept through the thick black curtains, a lawnmower echoed in the distance of the neighborhood causing Sammi to stern from her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and registered the light snoring right on her ear coming from Nikki. Sammi rubbed the sleep away from her eyes, feeling Nikki’s arms have a firm hold on her. She carefully lifted Nikki’s arm from her body as she sat up on the bed, gathering the blanket to cover her bare chest. Sammi looked around the room for her clothes, seeing them spread out in different corners of the gothic bedroom. Sammi flipped her hair to one side, smiling down at Nikki’s disheveled hair spread on the pillow. The clock right on the nightstand readout 11:30, Sammi’s cursing under her breath. Sammi tiptoed out of bed, getting her panties and bra at the end of the bed, then her loose jeans by the closet door. She could see the mess from the ajar door but didn’t bother to investigate. Sammi looked over her shoulder, seeing Nikki stretch out his arms with a yawn. 

 “What’s got your ass up so early?” asked Nikki, reaching out for Sammi. She moved over, sitting right next to him and kissing him tenderly in the morning. 

 “First off, it’s almost noon. Secondly, I still need to finish packing some things for my trip,” said Sammi, putting on Nikki’s loose Aerosmith shirt she found on the floor. “My flight leaves in the evening,” 

 “What’s so great about Miami anyway that you have to leave?” pouted Nikki, looking around the room for a drink. Sammi chuckled with Nikki, grabbing his chin to meet eye contact. 

 “It was either get the fuck out of California or have a graduation party with everyone I know. The last time there was a party, I almost threw a bottle at Vince’s head when I saw him,” said Sammi, kissing Nikki before slipping on her shoes. 

 “Well, I mean hey the guy shouldn’t have cheated on you. Wait actually-” 

 “Finish that sentence and your ass is going celibate,” warned Sammi, pointing her boot at Nikki. 

 “My ass is going celibate already for two weeks,” mumbled Nikki, kissing Sammi’s neck. Sammi raised an eyebrow at Nikki as she stood up, putting her hair up in a ponytail. “What?” 

 “You’re telling me you’re not gonna go find someone with Tommy? Or any other band guy you hang out with?” asked Sammi, hand on one hip. Nikki scuffed at Sammi’s tone, scrunching his eyebrows together. 

 “You really think I’m gonna just go fuck some random while you’re gone?” asked Nikki. Sammi nodded causing Nikki to clench his jaw and look away from the girl.

 “I’m somewhat offended you think of me like that,” said Nikki, scowling up at Sammi.

 “Serious? It’s not like we’re exclusive. You can do whatever you want,” said Sammi, biting her lip. 

 “So are you gonna go and fuck random dudes?” asked Nikki. 

 Sammi stayed silent for a moment, playing with her finger. “No, I wasn’t really thinking of hooking up with anybody,” mumbled Sammi, her cheeks flushed from a bit of embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like an ass,”

 Nikki stood up from the bed, wrapping a blanket around his naked torso. He got a firm grip on Sammi’s waist, bringing her to a warm tender kiss. Sammi couldn’t help but smile through it, resting her hands on Nikki’s bare chest, trying to ignore the butterfly fluttering feeling. “I don’t have to call you my girlfriend to give you some respect. If I don’t wanna fuck anybody else, I’m not gonna fuck anybody. Simple as that,” muttered Nikki with a smirk, kissing Sammi again.

 “Okay. I won’t fuck around with anyone else either. Simple as that,” said Sammi shrugging her shoulder, withholding a smile as she looked up at Nikki with a twinkle in her eyes. Nikki couldn’t stop himself from just staring at Sammi, gently rubbing his thumb against her cheek.

 “You have fun with Em and Sabrina. You deserve it, Ms. College Graduate,” said Nikki. 

 “I will. Be nice to your band members while I’m gone. And make sure Tommy doesn’t die either,” mumbled Sammi, kissing Nikki one last time. 

 “Eh no promises,” joked Nikki with a smile making Sammi roll her eyes. He chuckled, kissing Sammi until she finally had to leave. Once he was by himself, Nikki hid away from all his responsibilities in the walk-in closet. In a new secret hiding spot, Nikki pulled out his wooden box that became filled with new heroin and needles. Nikki rubbed his forehead in frustration, catching a glimpse of himself in the floor-length mirror. It only took the man 14 days behind Sammi’s back to get into his habit again. He only tells himself we’ll keep it under control. 

June 13th, 1985

 “Okay! I’m gonna head to the grocery store. You two wrote everything down on the list?” announced Sabrina, picking up the list placed on the small breakfast bar by the front door. Sammi lifted her resting head on the sofa pillow, tossing a magazine she was reading on the coffee table. She sat up on the all-white sofa, putting on her flip flops.

 “Yeah, everything’s there. You sure you don’t want one of us to go with you?” asked Sammi ready to tag along with her friend. 

 “No, it’s totally cool. I love grocery shopping by myself and it’s my little me time I get while on vacation,” smiled Sabrina, swinging her messenger bag over her shoulder. Emma walked into the living room from her shared bedroom with Sabrina, combing her freshly washed damp hair. 

 “If I didn’t like living alone, I’d love to have you as a roommate,” smiled Sammi. 

“Touche. I won’t take that long,” said Sabrina, grabbing the rental keys on the holder as she opened the front door. “Bye girls!” 

 “Bye, S!” Emma and Sammi said in unison. Before Sammi could even move an inch, Emma quickly noticed the gossip magazine, showing Vince in a tiny corner. Sammi’s eyes went wide, rushing to the table. Emma grabbed the idiotic magazine quickly, holding it over her head to keep out of Sammi’s short reach. “Sam, why do you have this trash?” asked Emma, flipping to the small section article of Vince.  In bold white letters spelling out ‘He’s a Dad!’ with a photo of the new happy family, and a brand new baby girl in Sharises arms. Sammi stood on the sofa, yanking the paper booklet from Emma, frowning at Vince’s happy bright smile. Emma pressed her lips tightly together, sitting down by Sammi, grabbing her hand to bring her back down to Earth. Sammi couldn’t help to take her eyes off the article, reading about how happy they both were. 

 “Sammi? How are you doing? And be honest,” asked Emma, slowly taking the magazine out of Sammi’s hand. Sammi leaned against her knees, pushing the hair that fell on her face. She stayed silent as she looked out of the giant glass door from their rental apartment. 

 “It’s been a couple of months and you really haven’t said much since. I thought you might’ve moved on until now,” said Emma.

 “I should have trusted my gut about Vince. I know Athena and Tommy thought what was best for me, but I should’ve tried harder to not think about him,” uttered Sammi, resting against the sofa. 

 “Do you think he’s gonna leave you alone after this? It’s not like there’s a lot of room for space if we’re being honest,” asked Emma. Sammi shrugged her shoulders only, messing with the fringe from a pillow near her. “I know I haven’t known Vince as long as you have, but I do think he cares about you. He just probably doesn’t know how exactly,” said Emma, smiling with optimism.

“Em, I told him to his face he would end up with a mud wrestler way ahead when we got together. It’s like I predicted the future for myself,” mumbled Sammi, trying to keep her composure. 

“He could still grow through. Maybe mature a bit,”

 “Then he’s never gonna learn from me. Maybe Sharise and their daughter can fix his shit a bit. I’m done with him until further notice. I only got the magazine because it just made it officially real. Vince is a dad,” muttered Sammi. Emma tenderly squeezed Sammi’s shoulder, smiling at her for comfort.

 “Well if you’re really done with him, then let's find you someone to help you forget!” excitedly said Emma, poking Sammi in the cheek. Sammi chuckled, moving away Emma’s hand from her. “Sabrina is totally ready to be by your side with the guys,”  

 “I don’t know about the whole guy shopping agenda. I rather just surround myself with you girls and that’s it. Maybe also work on my tan,” said Sammi, averting her eyes as she rubbed the side of her head. Emma raised an eyebrow to Sammi, reading her body language as hard as she could. 

“Sam, it’s okay to hook up with people while on vacation. And especially after getting cheated on. It’s totally normal,” said Emma, resting her arm on the back of the sofa. “You’re really gonna be a nun the entire time we’re here?” 

“Yeah! I’m fine with not kissing or having sex with anybody. For a good while. A long while actually,” said Sammi, smiling at Emma to convince her. 

“Fine, in that case, let’s see how tonight will bring us,” said Emma, clapping her hands together. 

“Tonight?” asked Sammi. 

“Yeah. I wanna head to that tiki-style bar by the beach. The place where we can wear our bikinis,” said Emma, grabbing a beer from the fridge. Sammi nodded. “What? You don’t wanna go clubbing anymore either?” asked Emma with a playful smirk. 

Sammi rolled her eyes, grabbing a beer for herself. “No, I’m not that holy. Especially in Miami,” said Sammi, matching Emma’s smirk. 

“Good!” said Emma, clanking the bottleneck with Sammi’s beer. 

* 

 All of Miami was littered with people from all over the country for summer break, lines forming outside of every club and bar. In the open tiki-style bar, people danced to loud music, some even swimming in the giant pool. Emma, Sabrina, & Sammi laughed alongside each other by the bar, sipping on fruity alcoholic drinks that tasted only like fruit. Sammi looked over her shoulder, noticing a handsome muscle man eyed her with lust. He had shaggy brunette hair that wasn’t stylized like L.A rocker guys, but still, put effort into his look. He looked expensive compared to other men in this bar, his belt buckle with the monogram of a designer brand. Sammi only smiled politely at him, giving her attention back to her friend. Sabrina soon noticed the man, wiggling her eyebrows to Sammi. Sammi only shook her head at her friend, noticing Emma’s attention on her. 

 “Sam, why not just flirt with a guy? You’re not gonna see him again!” shouted Sabrina into Sammi’s ear from the loud music. Sammi tugged her ear lob, pursed out her lips as she thought of an excuse. 

“Because I just don’t want to! Guys, I really am great not hooking up with guys! If you think he’s cute, you can have him, Sabrina,” shouted Sammi, gulping down the rest of her drink. Emma and Sabrina exchanged looks to each other, shrugging their shoulders in unison. Suddenly a gentle hand touched Sammi’s shoulder, making her jump in her seat. In a quick glance, the handsome man smiles warmly at Sammi, handing her a brand new drink for the night. Sammi’s cautiously at the man, muttering a thank you under her breath.

“Hi, I’m Michael. What’s your name, beautiful?” asked Michael, extending a handout. 

“Samantha,” said Sammi, barely making an effort to shake the man's hand. Emma smirked at the two, tapping Sabrina’s arm as the two stealthy escaped to the dance floor. Micheal smiles past Sammi, making her turn to see them alone in the unknown bar to Sammi. She mentally cures to herself, keeping her composer in front of the man. 

“I like that name. It’s classy. What brings you to Miami, Samantha?” asked Micheal, pulling up a bar stool by Sammi. 

“I just graduated and I’m celebrating with my friends. A nice vacation,” said Sammi with a tight-lipped smile, twirling around the bracelets on her wrist. 

“Wow, a smart woman. You’re proving to be my type after all,” smirked Micheal, casually resting his arm behind Sammi’s back. She could feel Micheal’s arm on her bareback, afraid of him messing with one of her bikini ties. Sammi tensed up, straightening her back and keeping her guard up with the stranger. 

“And what exactly is your type?” asked Sammi, crossing her arms. 

“Smart. Natural. Looking innocent and sexy without even trying. I could explain more, but I would rather show you what I have to offer,” said Micheal, sipping his drink as he kept his strong eye contact with Sammi. 

Sammi’s shot wide, nodding along to understand. “Pretty bold but um, I don’t do one night stands,” said Sammi, picking at her nails from under the bar. 

“Which I completely respect, but doesn’t mean we can’t do other things,” smirked Micheal.

“Look you’re handsome but I can’t. I just got out of a relationship so I’m not in the mood to jump on someone,” said Sammi, tugging her earlobe once again. 

“Oh, I know. Vince Neil really messed up on you,” said Micheal, leaning closer on Sammi with their bodies now touching. “I hate that piece of shit band anyway,” Micheal whispered seductively into Sammi’s ear, making her physically cringe all over. Micheal’s hand grazed down Sammi’s spine, his lips leaning closer to her neck. Sammi elbowed him hard in the gut, throwing her drink in his face as she jumped up from her stool. Micheal hunched over as he lost almost his balance, wiping away the alcohol from on his face. “What the fuck?!”

“That’s my brother’s band you fucking idiot!” shouted Sammi, grabbing her purse and sprinting off as best as she could in cork wedges. She pushed past every staring club go-er, getting more annoyed the longer it took her to find Emma and Sabrina. Sammi could feel her blood boil all over her body, palms gaining sweat. She glared with anger at any girl that gave her a mean look. As Sammi reached the entrance, she heard yells of her name, making her turn around with more annoyance. Her eyes bulged out at the sight of Emma and Sabrina following Sammi’s footsteps.  “Why the hell did you leave me alone with that dumbass?!” shouted Sammi. 

“We wanted to give you a chance with him! What even happened?” asked Sabrina, trailing behind Sammi as they tried to find their way home. 

“He called Motley a piece of shit band and knew I was with Vince. Clearly, he wasn’t smart enough to know I’m Tommy’s sister!” explained Sammi, stomping down the busy sidewalk as she yelled over her shoulder. Emma huffed under her breath, grabbing Sammi’s arm to halt her in her tracks. “What?!” 

“We’re sorry we left you alone with that guy, but you seriously have to talk to us on what’s wrong,” said Emma calmly, keeping her loose grip. 

“The fuck are you going on about?” said Sammi, eyes shifting from Emma and Sabrina. She could see their looks of knowing, almost being able to read through Sammi clear as day. 

“Have you met yourself? You’re kind of terrible at hiding things from people, everything is written on your face,” said Sabrina, looping her arm with Sammi’s along with Emma, continuing their walk down to the rental. Sammi looked down at the ground to stay silent, knowing Sabrina was right like always. It was never a mean type of always right, Sabrina knew when things could be different and it happened to be the better way. “What’s going on, Sammi? You know you can talk to us. We never judge,” said Sabrina.

“Emma, promise me you won’t tell Athena anything. Please?” asked Sammi. Emma nodded. Sammi let loose of Emma and Sabrina, pushing her hair out of her face as she saw the vacation apartment building in the near distance. The girls entered the building together, Emma & Sabrina on the edge of what was happening to Sammi. The elevator ride was short luckily for Emma who couldn’t handle the silence, taking the lead down the hall to open the door. 

“Okay! What’s been going on with you? I never thought you’d throw a drink on a guy,” asked Emma, sitting Sammi down on the sofa. Sammi inhaled deeply, twirling the ends of her hair around her finger. 

“The reason why I didn’t want to hook up with anybody is because…” hesitated Sammi, scratching her nose even when a feeling wasn’t there. “I promised Nikki I wasn’t going to…” Sammi looked up at Emma and Sabrina, seeing the confusion play out on their face. 

“Okay, why did you randomly promise Nikki that?” asked Emma again. 

Sammi groaned, shooting up from her spot, “Because Nikki and I have been hooking up!” 

“What?!” Emma and Sabrina yelled in unison, eyes growing at Sammi. “Since when?!” asked Sabrina. 

“Since February…” uttered Sammi, dropping back down onto the sofa. 

“How the hell did that even happen for you to move on that fast?” asked Emma, scratching her head as she pondered. 

“Not that we’re judging, we’re just curious because you never said anything,” reassured Sabrina.

“Well wasn’t the first time we had sex,” said Sammi, shifting her eyes between her friends. Sabrina scrunched her eyebrows at Sammi, looking at Emma’s shocked face. 

“And when was the first time?” asked Sabrina.

“And how come you never told us?” asked Emma, scowling as she thought hard as she sat in the accent chair of the living room. 

“The night after I had my fight with my old roommates, I went to Nikki’s because I was pissed at Vince. It was just me and him at his old apartment for a couple of days before the tour and one thing led to another. We just never talked about it after, and especially after Vince and I got together,” said Sammi, hugging the large sofa pillow for comfort. 

“Damn… I guess I really can’t tell Athena then,” mumbled Emma, pressing her lips in a tight line. “How did you hide this for a whole year?” 

“I had just met you guys when I started dating Vince, so I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell Athena and Tommy because they would probably lecture me like always. Mick basically acts like a dad, would be the same thing. And obviously, I couldn’t tell Vince. Which in hindsight, maybe I should have and save myself the tears,” mumbled Sammi towards the end, tucking her chin under the pillow.

“So are you and Nikki a thing? Or is it just for sex?” asked Sabrina. 

“I don’t know… He told me he wasn’t gonna get with anyone while I was gone, but the whole label shit isn’t for me right now,” 

“I think we can all agree about being in a relationship after what you went through isn’t ideal. Still, be careful though, not just ‘cause he’s Nikki but because he’s a guy,” said Emma as she leaned over to squeeze Sammi’s hand as a sign of peace, Sabrina doing the same. 

 “I guess that answers my curiosity about you and Nikki,” uttered Sabrina, smiling at Sammi. 

 “What do you mean? You already thought we were hooking up?” asked Sammi, wrinkling her eyebrows into deep elevens.

 “No, I really didn’t but…whenever I saw you and Nikki together, he seemed to soften up a small bit. Even if Vince was around, he’d still looked less ‘uncomfortable’ when you two talked,” said Sabrina, shrugging her shoulders at Sammi. 

 “Yeah but he still acts like a macho man with everyone else around,” added Emma. 

 “But you seriously can’t tell me I’m wrong, Em. I know you’ve seen it too,” said Sabrina, raising an eyebrow to Emma. 

 Emma huffed, throwing her hands up in defeat that made Sammi chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you are right. He does act differently when you’re around compared to when you’re not, Sam,” said Emma. 

 “That’s nice to hear I guess. I hope he isn’t doing anything too stupid while I’m gone,” said Sammi, letting out a long yawn. 

 “With another girl or?” 

 “No, just him being crazy with the guys,” said Sammi, rubbing her tired eyes. “I’m too tired to explain it. I’m going to bed,” said Sammi, getting up from the sofa as she left the girls alone in the living room, not seeing Emma mouth something to Sabrina. In her room alone, Sammi stripped off her bikini to drape Nikki’s t-shirt he didn’t seem to miss. Sammi dropped herself on the bed, hiding away in the heavy white sheets to shut her eyes. As Sammi could feel herself drift asleep, the bedside telephone rang out loud, making her eyes slowly open in irritation. With a groan, Sammi sat up against the headboard and picked up the phone to her ear. 

 “Hello” muttered Sammi, her voice sounding raspy. 

 “Sammi?” Sammi hit her head against the headboard, scuffing at the sound of this person’s voice. 

 “Vince, how the hell did you get this number?” asked Sammi, facepalming while cursing like a sailor in her head. 

 “I, um, I wouldn’t stop bothering Athena for days until she cracked. She just gave me your number,” mumbled Vince on the other line, sounding like a nervous little boy. Sammi rolled her eyes, making a mental note to shout at Athena the next time she called. “But how has Miami been? I know you loved it when we-” 

 “Vince, just tell me why you’re calling. Shouldn’t you be changing your daughter's shitty diaper right now?” barked Sammi in a low voice, messing with cord. She kept her glances at the door, praying no one came in to hear this conversation. Vince stayed silent on his line, making Sammi bite her cheek as she was on the edge of her seat for him to talk. “Well?”

 “I… I wanna talk it out, Sammi. I miss you so much and-and I know I messed up but please just hear me out. You said it yourself you can’t be mad at me forever,” uttered Vince, his voice shaking in Sammi’s ear. 

 “Yeah, when you fucked my best friend before we got together. And now you fucked some blonde bitch and got her pregnant. What can you possibly say that is gonna make it better?” asked Sammi, frowning to herself.

 “That I love you. That I’m sorry for being a drunk idiot so many times. I just need to know you’re not gonna just leave me hanging here by myself,” said Vince, Sammi’s eyes beginning to fill with tears. 

 “I can’t promise that, Vince. I really can’t,” Sammi’s voice cracked, wiping away a fallen tear. 

 “Why not?” 

 “You hurt me so bad and you don’t even fully realize it. You’re in a relationship now. You didn’t even try to hide that you moved on to the world. I can’t just be around waiting for you to change. My life doesn’t revolve around you!” 

 “We’re not even in a real relationship! We barely know each other unlike you and me, Sammi. You and I have history,” shouted Vince, immediately whispering again in hopes Sharise never heard him. 

 “Look, I know I can’t be completely away from you, but you still need to give me space. Get it through your head. Get it through your head that you cheated on me and I can’t forgive that easily. Please just leave me alone for a moment,” Sammi inhaled deeply, laying back down on the bed, rubbing her temples. 

 “Alright. You’re right. I’ll give you all the space you need, but can you promise me one thing?” asked Vince. 

 “What?” asked Sammi in a monotone voice, just ready to go to sleep. 

 “Promise me you won’t get with Nikki,” Sammi eyes fully opened wide at Vince’s request, her heart beginning to pound from nervousness. 

 “No, what? You can’t fucking tell me what to do, Vince,” spat out Sammi, frowning more. 

 “Please. You can get with any guy I know from the scene but just not Nikki. Please, Sammi,” begged Vince. 

 “Do you know what’s my favorite thing about not being with you anymore? I don’t have to deal with your shitty jealously over Nikki! Now don’t fucking call me again,” shouted Sammi, slamming the phone down hard. She rubbed her head to calm her down, praying Emma and Sabria couldn’t hear her conversation. Sammi turned on her side to finally get some sleep, trying her hardest to forget the last couple of hours. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling and let them go as she fell asleep.

June 21st, 1985

Stepping down the open airport corridor, the three girls followed the signs to the luggage roundabout and exit doors, tired from the long midday flight. The crowds of people around them practically ran in comparison to the girls' slow pace, wanting to be greeted by loved ones and dash home. As the girl reached the end, Sammi almost stopped in her place as she saw her name on a cardboard sign. Nikki stood by a row of waiting chairs, Sammi’s suitcase and duffle bag by his feet as he held a little sign that wrote ‘Samantha’ in bold black letters. He looked tired from when Sammi left but tried his test to look normal with clean clothes and washed hair. Sabrina couldn’t help but a smile a bit at Sammi, enjoying her surprised face like Emma’s. Sammi stood right in front of Nikki, raising one eyebrow at him while eyeing him. He smirked back at her, “Surprised? Nice tan by the way,”

“Yeah, I never thought you’d come to get me at an airport by yourself. I was thinking of taking a cab home,” said Sammi, swinging her duffle bag over her shoulders. Nikki shrugged his shoulders, waving slightly at Emma and Sabrina as they withheld shit-eating grins. 

“You two need a ride home? Or you girls gonna walk home?” asked Nikki, resting his arm around Sammi’s shoulders. 

Emma shrugged with a smile, “Yeah just let me get our bags. Come come, Sabrina,” Emma pulled Sabrina by the hand, leaving the couple alone to see if they would try anything in front of them from afar. 

Do they know something I don’t know or is Emma just finding my face funny?” asked Nikki scrunching his eyebrows together, making Sammi giggle.

“No, I think they’ve never seen you do something nice for me is all,” said Sammi, hugging Nikki’s waist. Nikki smiled smugly at Sammi’s words, feeling a bit proud of himself.

“So? Is Florida still like I somewhat remember it?” asked Nikki, looking down at Sammi. 

“Yeah it was great, but I need some explanation from my sister,” said Sammi, sucking her teeth with irritation. Nikki scrunched his eyebrows, looking past to see Emma and Sabrina still waiting for their things.  

“Why? The hell did she do while you were gone?” asked Nikki. Right when Sammi could explain, she shut her mouth tight as Emma and Sabrina walked closer to them. “I’ll explain it later at my place,” muttered Sammi.

“Oh we get to go to your place?” whispered Nikki in Sammi’s ear, making playfully roll her eyes. 

June 26th, 1985

 Sammi walked up the outdoor staircase of an L.A apartment building, appearing brand new in comparison to the other buildings around the area. All the way up to the third floor, Sammi knocked hard on the metal door that read Apt. 302, fixing her jean shorts on the hot summer day. Athena happily opens the door with a big smile for her sister, open arms ready for her. 

 “You’re back!” exclaimed Athena, hugging Sammi tight. Sammi returned the hug with less enthusiasm, but still upholding a smile. 

 “Yeah. Sorry I couldn’t visit your new place sooner. Work got pretty busy when we got back,” said Sammi, walking into the nicely decorated apartment. Athena’s interior style slowly but surely became more mature as she moved between apartments. Sammi sat down on the dining table, dropping her purse on the wooden surface. Athena soon pulled out a bottle of white wine Tommy gifted her from her refrigerator, getting two clean wine glasses. She poured the glasses perfectly even, sliding it across the short table. They cheered together, Sammi remaining silent. 

 “So, how was Miami? Meet any cool people?” asked Athena, taking her first sip of wine. Sammi drank alongside Athena, pursing her lips out as she thought of the last two weeks. 

 “It was pretty great. Amazing beach. Cool clubs. There was one thing that kinda ruined it,” said Sammi. 

 “Really? What was it? You didn’t fight with the girls did you?” asked Athena, scrunching her eyebrows together. 

 “No nothing like that. It was just Vince finding out my phone number. Because apparently, my sister who always butts into my life fucking told him,” said Sammi, leaning back into the chair as she crossed her arms, raising a questioning look at Athena. Athena bit her lip, looking down at her hands with regret. She stayed silent, not being able to look Sammi in the eye. 

 “Sam, I’m sorry. I thought it would help…” said Athena, slowly meeting Sammi’s sight. 

 “Help who? Him? The man that fucking cheated on me?” asked Sammi, biting the inside of her cheek.

 “Help you hear him out without getting angry fast! He fucked up, I get it but you can’t run away from him. Or throw things at him when you see each other,” said Athena. 

 “Yes, I can! What is it that you don’t understand? Vince fucked up! And I don’t want to hear any bullshit that comes out of his mouth!” shouted Sammi. 

 “People make mistakes. He was drunk! The guys make mistakes all the time when they’re drug or high!” 

 “None of them that equaled a fucking child that they paraded around on magazines! This isn’t the first time he made a mistake with a girl that hurt me. Why do you have to side with him? You’re my sister!” shouted Sammi, wanting every inch of her to run out of the apartment. 

 “I’m not on his side, Sammi. I’m sorry for giving him your phone number. It’s just we’ve known Vince for a long time, and I feel like it could still work between you two,” said Athena, rubbing her hands together. Sammi rolled her eyes at her sister, not caring if she appeared rude. She was pissed. To Sammi, almost no one understood her anger like she thought they would. Her siblings were supposed to support Sammi, not someone else. 

“Listen, Athena, I know you and Tommy always look out for me but this is different. I’m only gonna say this once and nicely to you. Please just stay out of my love life, it has nothing to do with you or Tommy. I’m grown so I’m perfectly fine handling things myself. If you want to keep hanging out with Vince, you can do that, but don’t expect me to run after him for a long time. Got it?” ordered Sammi, look directly at Athena. Athena nodded with hesitation, finishing off her glass of wine. 

“Can you at least tell me what Vince said? Or a watered-down version?” asked Athena, pouting a bit in an attempt to make Sammi spill. Sammi groaned, nodding as she drank her wine. 

“In gist, he doesn't want me to leave him or jump on Nikki. Both of which I told him I can’t do and give me space. I just want to be left alone in all of this,” said Sammi. 

“You can’t stop yourself from jumping on Nikki?” Athena asked, scrunching her eyebrows together in deep elevens. 

“No… I didn’t mean it like that,” huffed Sammi.

“Well like what then?”

“I meant it in a ‘you can’t tell me what to do’ kind of way. I seriously mean it when I say I want to be alone,” said Sammi, swallowing hard and made the effort to keep eye contact with Athena. 

“Alright, I get it. You said it yourself before, you wouldn’t touch Nikki with a ten-foot pole” said Athena, pouring more wine for her and Sammi. Sammi sipped on her wine, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. 

“Yeah you’re right I did say that,” mumbled Sammi. “I don’t think Nikki would try anything. He would’ve already done it,” said Sammi, giving a convincing smile. She sipped in her wine until the last drop, glancing at the clock on the wall. Sammi remembered her plans with Nikki, thinking of an excuse to give her sister. “Hey Athena, I have to get going. I just remember I got plans with Em and Sabrina tonight,” said Sammi, standing from her seat.

“Em? Are you sure? We were gonna have a movie date later. I was going to ask if you wanted to stay,” said Athena, squinting at Sammi to read anything on her sister's face. 

“Oh? Well shit, she didn’t say anything to me. Em could’ve called Sabrina already, but it’s cool. We were just gonna go eat somewhere,” said Sammi, swinging her purse onto her shoulder. Athena nodded along with caution, remaining silent as she showed Sammi the door. 

“Okay then, have a fun night. I’ll see you on Sunday at mama and Dad’s place,” said Athena, hugging Sammi goodbye. “Love you,” 

“Love you too,” replied Sammi, walking down the stairs with a little pep in her step. Athena couldn’t help but make a small mental note for when Emma would come over. Ready to see if Emma would agree with Sammi or try to lie.

[loganscalesaurawrites]

9/1 Prompt for @tsshipmonth2020 ‘s Soulmate September stuff. I haven’t written a lot of Sanders Sides though [... Or fanfics in general that were more than oneshots/fallen projects. so expect roughness.

[I’ll be doing a mix of platonic soulmates and romantic soulmates as this goes on [If I write more], because I’m a big fan of the sides as a big poly web with Roman and Remus being the only two not actively dating because remro/m = no.]

This one’s the full web with remus and roman as platonic soulmates! Because start with your favorite thing.

[Remus is also probably a bit ooc, but I like the headcanon that he plays up his “Depravity” as a side, and in human!Au he’s just someone with a morbid fascination with death or biology that leaves most people unnerved/is prone to blurting out what he’s thinking without really caring about other people’s comfort until he’s told off.

Soulmate Marks had been appearing for centuries at this point with very limited knowledge on how or why exactly they did, a short list of names appearing in either a dark crimson for your lovers, or a glittering emerald for those who you bond with as friends or even a found family in most cases- both darkening with an outline the moment you came in contact with your soulmates. These started forming generally early on in life as your soulmates were born and names chosen, or you were born  with them if you were the youngest of your soulmates.- Though rarely were they ever more than a year or two apart, and with astonishing frequently, you started meeting your romantic soulmates a few days after your eighteenth birthday.

It was a rarity for someone to have more than one [maybe two] of both, but when they were born, the Alvarez twins had a stretch of four crimson names, and the moment their names were chosen emerald swirled on each other’s wrists.

But that was almost two decades ago, now it was eighteen years later, nearing the end of the school year a few days after the twins’ birthday and Roman, once again, was trying to figure out his soulmates.

Patton Kravitz: His last name had changed quite a lot early on, which his parents said probably meant he was bouncing around in adoption centers until he settled in a few years prior. The original name was long forgotten in his memory, but he was sure it was’t a masculine name to start- but that was fine with them both, whatever pronouns- [Roman had a hard time switching to they in his head, but was working on it![- their soulmate had they knew to respect.

Logan Sanders: A simple, regular name. [Remus even jolted up about three times in the past week hearing either of the two seperate, but had to be reminded their birthday hadn’t come up yet, it was unlikely.], unlike the 

Virgil:  No last name, at least not one in english, Roman no matter how hard he tried to learn japanese for the sake of this soulmate was just unable to figure out how to read the kanji [Though Remus could, and it infuriated him to no end when he never said how to read it].

Janus : No last name again, though he had disappeared for a week, before coming back in the same exact place [Remus was the most panicked about this, his more... grim worries flashing through his head before Roman calmed him down, talking about how Patton’s name flickered a few times while his name was in flux, so maybe Janus was similar to patton, just took longer.

  Roman quietly stared at the names on his wrist, again pencil tapping rapidly on his desk, a few rapid bounces of his leg came before the teacher called on him, jolting him out of his reviere and rushing to catch back up on which question they were on.

His brother behind him softly snorted, tapping a rapid series of things and Roman quickly flicked forward and read the line out with a narrowed from his teacher, but the bell rung right after and he quickly rushed to get his things and dart before he could get told off for daydreaming again.

Right behind him Remus playfully chided his brother with a low tsk. “C’mon, Ro, I thought we said you only get one longing lovestruck look at your names a day, that’s the third time I caught you thinking about them and how much you-”

Roman gently elbowed the other as he snickered, “Oh please, you’re the one who daydreams about the bedroom, I’m pure and chaste and romantic.”

“Say that to your picture of Aladdin-”

“He is a god among mortals and you will shut your face before I do-”

Remus’s cackle was heard through the hallway, the two seniors bickering on their way to the car as Roman slid into the passenger’s side, flapping his hands about in excitement as Remus let him jabber on, driving their way to a nearby coffee shop during their lunchbreak. He quickly passed by their usual one, Remus deciding to try different places nearby to hopefully get his brother to shut up about them for one second.

“What absurd thing’re you going to ask them to put on your cup this time?” Roman slid out staring Remus down, ticking his latest creations. “Last name sucker, first name Dick? Boo T Chaser?”

Remus shrugged, grinning wider than Roman had seen, “Just Remus!”

There was a second, Roman waiting for the beat to drop before he blinked, frowning. “... Remus?”

“Yeah, I mean you’re obsessed with our soulmates, might as well make it easier, besides seeing the two of us together and our last names on the cups should abso fucking lutely make these people notice. You think one of our soulmates’d be willing to bang me right after we meet or should I buy them dinner fi-”

Roman threw his hands up in the air, slamming them down to his sides with a snort that betrayed his annoyance. “Your pansexual ass needs to chill.”

“And your Ace ass is the only person I can talk to about this who won’t squirm in discomfort and would dropkick me. Thank god you’re not repulsed otherwise I have no idea how we’re soulmates if you can’t reign me in, princey.” Remus stuck his tongue out, ducking a grabbing hand at the childish nickname before walking in.

The shop itself wasn’t all too unique, a simple cafe with a chalkboard menu above the counter, currently being updated by a guy in a patchwork purple hoodie doodling all sorts of plants along the frame of the board. One of the baristas- dressed complete in suspenders and the hipster aesthetic from the looks of it [who else’d wear a necktie to a casual cafe]- pratling to a customer with a cardigan around his shoulders. Remus met the light chill of the AC with a happy sigh, quickly rushing to stand behind a guy with multicolored skin [Vitiligo- Roman remembered reading about it once] and he jolted when Remus had already moved to the register.

shit.

“Hi I want your darkest roast you’ve got, black, and sunshine here’s gonna need more cream and sugar than coffee. If it’s not whiter than a sheet of paper he won’t drink it.”

“Asshole.” Roman elbowed Remus, turning to the barista. “I’d like just a latte, if you don’t mind. And I’ll pay extra for it too, but if anyone working can do that fancy latte art stuff I’d appreciate it?”

“Very well.” The barista’s tone was an odd mix of clipped formality, and warm gentleness that immediately made Roman melt, and the Barista pulled out two cups real quick, grabbing papers. “Names? And please-” he glared at Remus. “This time, do not make me call out “Luke Kinfor Cawk”

Roman ignored the soft snort from the arist above them, hearing him grumble “Is that any way to treat a customer?”

He glanced up, glaring at the smirking artist- Remus gawking at his light makeup for a second and mumbling something about needing tips from the stylish asian indivudal- “I’ve been working here for a week, I’ll do better about it.”

“God I’m joking Lo, take a hint. Though you’re leagues above where you were when we met. Sorry about that.” The hoodie wearer hopped down, dusting his shirt and picking up a pen himself. “Welcome to the Roast, since he forgot to welcome you. I can do latte art, so any requests?”

“Yeah, can I kiss you-” Roman’s hand slapped over Remus’s mouth- surprised at the safe for work flirt and he stumbled out.

“My apologies, my brother here’s... Eccentric, I apologize if he’s ever gone too far.”

The barista shrugged- and Roman noticed neither of the employees had a nametag on. Odd. “The first time yes, but I just hold it against him since we’ve had a pretty decent rapport.”

“How you can stomach all that biology I don’t know. You two start prattling off those facts in the corner like it’s a science course.” The other two customers nearby snorted, trying to hide their eavesdropping as they themselves chatted, and the artist quickly pulled the labels off. “Names?”

“Roman and Remus Alvarez-”

All at once, four different things fell over. The pencil in the artist’s hand, the mug the barista was cleaning, the coffee that the cardigan clad guy was sipping from... and the 4th individual in his entirety, who somehow litterally fell over at the name spontaneously as though it shocked him.

The twins stared at one another for about half a second, seeing things processing on the other four, before Roman grinned, hands moving up and showing the lines of red names on his wrist.

“Virgil, Logan, Patton and Janus I presume?” Artist, Barista, Cardigan, and the one currently still on the floor in shock nodded in that order, and Remus cackled like mad.

“Ok now that it’s a LOT more kosher, Specs or Chalkboy, can I kiss you now” Remus helped Janus up from the floor, dusting his shirt off while pouting at the workers and Patton giggled.

“I get the feeling we’re gonna be skipping the rest of school today, Remus.” [Don’t do that kiddo!][Please do] “There’s a lot of stuff to talk about.”

[artisticestheticreads]

No Scrubs Allowed

A/N: I got another one for y’all. So, I was listening to the 90′s R&B/Hip-Hop playlist on Apple Music and “No Scrubs” by TLC came on and that's when I got the idea of writing a one-shot inspired by this very song. This is a one-shot of Erik “Killmonger” Stevens and his boy out and about during the summer when he stops the Black Reader and her friend beside them; he tries to shoot his shot. What will happen? Hmm... 

WARNING: Profanity; c*ck blocking and pettiness. 

RECOMMENDED LISTENING: No Scrubs by TLC

PAIRING: Erik Stevens x Black Reader

  July 4th, a hot summer day when Erik was in the passenger seat of a 2020 Fluorescent Yellow Neon Lamborghini Aventador. The inside interior was a glossy leather with a dark oakwood dashboard, banging sound system and red threading on the outer corner of the seats. He looked over his lighter complexion friend who drove 10 and 2. “A, why the fuck you driving like that man”, he asked leaned back in his seat. 

  “Because this is a nice ass car, man, and I ain’t tryna scratch it the fuck up.” Erik rolled his eyes before scrolling through Instagram. “Bruh, cars come and go, my G.” Aaron looked at his friend with an appalled face and said: “Niggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, this shit was ex-pen-sive. Do you not see this detail. The dashboard was made Italy by delicate hands.” They finally pulled up to a red light when another car pulled up; a 2012 Nissan Altima. Erik looked over to see the driver, a woman with skin like his, long hair and bright colored nails. She was dancing to the Apple’s playlist. 

  Erik noticed another woman. Chocolate skin with her kinky curls in a low ponytail and a smile on her face watching her friend. Erik tapped Aaron’s arm before leaning out, whistling to get their attention. The driver looked over at him and rolled her window up until her friend smacked her arm to roll it back down. “How y’all ladies doing today? I’m Erik and this is my dude Aaron.” The driver looked at him up and down then at the car; she looked passed Erik then Aaron. 

  “Hello, Aaron. I’m Kelly and this is Y/N. How you doing” she said as she bit her lip. Aaron was too focus on the road. Erik looked at her face and chuckled until he saw Y/N looking at her. “How you doing, princess”, he asked Y/N and she said “I’m fine. It's just a little hot out here. They smiled at one another and before she can say anything else, Kelly blocked his view. “She is way too good for your freeloading ass. Ya game is weak as fuck and you need to get like ya friend. You broke ass nigga.” She turned up the radio as TLC’s No Scrubs played and sang the words loud enough for him to hear. He was about to tell her off until he noticed Y/N shaking her hand. He looked her as she signaled him to follow to the 7/ll straight ahead with a wink. Erik nodded watching them drive off and tapped Aaron saying “follow them but stay a few cars behind.” 

    Aaron looked to him chuckling and did as he was told. They followed the girls never being detected until the pulled into the lot. Kelly parked and Y/N got out the car with her phone in hand; they stood and talked for a while. When Erik saw her walk into the front door, he was stunned. She wore a tie-dye body con dress with Vans and her body was nothing like he ever imagined. She was thicker than a bowl oatmeal out the freezer. When Aaron parked beside them, Erik stepped out in his white tee, army cargos, and fresh air force ones with his black diamond watch and his father’s chain. Kelly scoffed and before she can even say anything, he placed his hand a few inches as saying ‘talk to the hand.’

   When he walked in, looking for her when he spotted her in the chip aisle. He walked up to her with his hands in his pockets. “If I were you, I would get the Limon Lays. The perfect combo of salty and sweet.” Y/N looked up to him grinning before getting the chips. “Good choice.” She began walking when she signaled him to follow. “So, Erik. I just wanted to apologize for Kelly. She can be a huge b-word sometimes”, she said while choosing a watermelon Arizona; he nodded in approval. They began walking to the candy aisle when he said “Nah, don’t trip, little one. I’m used to those types of females. But why you hang around her? You seem sweeter than this whole fucking aisle.” 

  She giggled and said “that was a good one. See, ya game ain’t weak at all.” He chuckled with his fist to his mouth. “Nah, I’m playing. I knew her since we were younger. She was only the friend I ever had.” Erik looked out to see Kelly flirting with Aaron, touching his chest and all. Y/N watched them too when Erik said: “well, she ain’t ya only friend anymore, Y/N.” She looked up to him to see he was looking at her as well. He touched her arm with his fingertips and said “look, I don’t know her all too well but her heart ain’t in the right place. Kelly ain’t all that special little one”; he wrapped his arm around her neck as they walked around grabbing more snack.

   They soon were at the register when Erik put his snacks with hers. “And who said I was paying for yours too”, she asked with an amused look but was being ignored by Erik who was smiling. “Your total is $45.98. Will that be cash, debit or credit”, the cashier asked and before Y/N pulled out her card, Erik said “cash” and pulled out a roll of hundreds out his pocket; Y/N watched as he handed him the money and got his change back. Erik pulled their bag to the side and her hand in his hand softly. She was mentally asking who he was and it was like her read her mind. He looked out and she followed his gaze, smiling and looking down. “So, Y/N. What do you have planned for tonight”, he asked with a smile making her blush even more.

   He walked out with their bag in hand and saw how close Kelly was to Aaron at the front of the car. “Aight, A. I need the keys man.” Aaron nodded and passed them into Erik’s hands. Kelly folded her arms and asked, “Aaron, you are really gonna let him borrow your car.” She rolled her eyes when Erik went to the passenger side and received no answer until she heard the door open. “Aye, princess. Did ya get everything ya pretty self wanted” Erik and she raised the bags of Malibu Pineapple Rum, Vodka and Jack Daniels with chasers. “Sure did, E.”

“Damn, you gonna drink all of that,” Erik asked with a chuckle. She walked over to the car to get her small backpack then to him saying “well, you did say I could get anything and everything I wanted. It was all on you, remember.” He shrugged and said, “I am a man of my word.” She stood next to him when Kelly said “lemme get this straight. Aaron, you letting him borrow your car and money. Before Aaron said anything, Erik stopped and said: “Kelly, love do me a favor and read the license plate for us.” Kelly looked at him then to Aaron. 

  “K. L. L. M. N. G. R”, she read and Erik slowly applauded her; “very good. You can read”. He looked to Y/N and said “now, Y/N. Do me a favor and tell her my nickname. I just love how you say it.” She giggled and in a sweet voice, she said “Killmonger”. He shimmied as he opened the door for her and handing her the bags. “Oweeeee. The way she says it, makes a king feel good.” He looked at Kelly, closed the door and said “Ya see. I had to remove the vowels so that my whole name can fit. I let Aaron drive it because he has never been in one.” He stood in front of her and said: “ya know, with a such a pretty face, you sure do have a shitty ass personality.” He went to Aaron and gave him dap. “Aight, bruh. Get home safe. I know Kelly will give ya a ride.”

  Aaron chuckled and Killmonger got in the car, buckling them in and asked Y/N “so, beautiful. What ya got a taste for” as he caressed her chin. She thought about and said “how about pizza? I know the best place in downtown. Waaaay cheesier than you.” Erik started the car and laughed. “Damn, must be cheesy as hell” Y/N smiled as they pulled off, leaving Kelly’s blood boiling, wishing she was Y/N. 

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never ever judge a book by its cover

WRITER’S NOTE: Thank you for reading. Tomorrow, I will be posting a final part to this and Chapter two of Summertime Magic as well. Please like, reblog and tell me your thoughts. 

𝒯𝒜𝒢𝒢𝐸𝒟 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸𝒮

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[catsandstrawberries]

Real Family: 6

Pairings: BTS x female reader, platonic love

Warnings: Language, domestic abuse (future), neglect

A/N: Thanks for all the positive feedback so far guys!

Summary: It’s not blood that makes a family. It’s love.

Masterlist

Just as I thought, I had gotten no sleep that night, and instead choose to watch the transition from night to day. Shortly after the sun had risen from the horizon, a knock sounded from the closed door followed by a head of brown hair poking into the room. 

"Hey, breakfast is ready if you're hungry." The moment I slid into the chair I'm served an enormous platter of food. Eggs, ham, pancakes, piles of fried potatoes. A tureen of fruit sits in ice to keep it chilled. The basket of rolls they set in front of me could keep me going for a week. There's an elegant glass of orange juice set beside my plate and I can't help but look up towards the boys. As if asking for permission to eat. Jin nods his head at me, his eyes crinkling in a smile as I forced myself to eat slowly so I wouldn't look like a complete slob. Most of the boys slowly trickled in, Namjoon being one of the first. Just as he took a bite of his banana a ding sounded from his pocket, he quickly pulled out his phone turning towards Jin and Hoseok. “Bang wants us to take her with us to the studio to do some promotional advertising with her, get photos, make videos, stuff like that.” They continued on with their conversation and I promptly decided that the scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon, and herbs were much more interesting. 

“Would you like to come to the studio with us (Y/N)?” I looked up from my plate, mouth full and turned to Hoseok, a blush on my cheeks as I simply nodded while swallowing. He pinched my cheeks, a smile spreading across his face, “(Y/N)’s so cute!” I flinched at his hands, nervously looking down just missing the hurt and confused gaze that fell on his face. Thankfully, Tae had entered grabbing a piece of toast and shouting on his way towards the door,

“let's get going slow pokes, let's not forget we have a photoshoot today!” Jungkook stumbled down the stairs, his hair sticking up in several places mumbling under his breath as he sat down next to me chugging a glass of water.

“Jungkook-ah we have to leave in a few minutes, you and (Y/N) should both go get ready,” Jungkook grumbled, grabbing an apple then shuffling back up the stairs, quickly following in his footsteps I stumbled after him but instead went to my own room. Looking through my backpack for some decent clothes I pulled out a pair of black ripped jeans and a short sleeve blue button down-either that or one of my stained sweatshirts, and pretty sure the boys said I would be doing an interview so I should probably look presentable.

Rushing down the stairs towards the front door I pulled my sneakers on and was met with a white limousine. I stared in awe at the car before jumping in the seat, squeezing in next to Jimin. I stared at all of the boys, somehow dressed casually but still looking like they could walk the red carpet. Namjoon furiously typed on his phone, a few of the other boys doing the same while the rest relaxed against the seat.

“(Y/N) are you excited to see BigHit?” Hoseok broke the silence, the question causing some of the boys to turn to me. “Yeah, Is BigHit where you work?” He nodded at my question,

“It'll be cool to see what you guys do behind the scenes and the process of making music.” Just as the words left my mouth large groups of people surrounded a huge, curved building, windows decorating the corners and bodyguards standing at the entrance and clearing a path for the boys. I visibly tensed at the crowd of people, scenes from leaving the orphanage entering my mind.

“Don't stress too much (Y/N), our bodyguards are good at what they do.” Taehyung's reassuring statement eased my nerves slightly, but as soon as the door opened I was immediately blinded by the bright lights from the cameras. Ears buzzing from the screaming fans, I glanced over to the boys as most of them gave small waves to fans but didn't stop to talk to them. They looked so unfazed by the various screams coming from all directions, how did they do it? Suddenly a pair of black sunglasses were being placed over my eyes, giving the world a darker tint and easing my sight from the bright lights. A hand on my lower back led me into the building through the front doors, and as soon as I was shielded by the glass roof and the high arched ceiling I let out a breath of relief. “I don't understand how you guys do that every day.” I mumbled just as Hoseok had taken the sunglasses off my face that I assumed were his, 

“you’ll get used to it.” 

An older looking man, who looked to be in his late 40's turned the corner. He was wearing a casual dark blue suit, short brown hair and grey wire glasses laid on his face. His arms opened as he saw us, "there's my favorite Kpop group." The man gave Namjoon a hug as Jimin spoke up, "Hey Bang." The man, who I assumed was Bang, turned towards me after giving each of the boys a greeting, a smile on his face, 

"this must be (Y/N), so excited to meet you." He gave me a once over, and I pretended not to notice the judging look in his eyes as he took in my appearance. 

"That's me, you must be Bang Pd?" I reached my hand out and he firmly took it. "Let's all head up to my office and we can talk about the plan for today." The boys nodded, and I followed there lead as they led me through the huge building. Numerous other males and females dressed in suits and dresses passed us by carrying stacks of paper, talking into earpieces, and rapidly typing on phones. Almost all of the workers looked up as soon as we walked by, even those emerged in their phones. Staring at awe at the boys or with a blush on their faces. I guess that's what happens when you become famous. Bangs office was on the top floor, the elevator leading straight to his office after he slid his ID passed a scanner. The room was huge, painted white with a black glass desk sitting in the corner of the room. The room was uncluttered and minimalistic, plants residing in the corner, and on his desk was a simple leather notebook, a computer, and a trophy shaped similar to an old fashioned microphone. It was gold, shiny and on the plaque in bold read, ‘Billboard Music Awards.’ The wall behind his desk, however, was a floor to ceiling window. The bright sun and calm clouds made me wonder what the view would look like at night. 

“Take a seat.” Bang motioned towards the black leather couch in front of his desk but then looked towards me just as the boys sat down. “(Y/N), do you mind grabbing me some coffee from the 4th floor?” A part of me wanted to say no considering I literally had no idea where I was going, also I'm pretty sure that the owner of a huge corporation like BigHit had people to get him coffee. “

Sure,” I said walking towards the elevator. Tae turned towards me giving me a reassuring smile. As soon as the elevator door shuts I couldn't help but press my ear to the door. “Boys, what the fuck are you doing? You're all so awkward around her.” I jumped away from the wall at his voice and decided to stop eavesdropping and actually find out where the coffee was. Once I had gotten to the fourth floor I was immediately met with a room full of people. Concept maps were posted on the wall with different themes such as bad boy, high schoolers, light, lost souls, I stopped in front of one of the boards. Unlike the other ones, this had little to no pictures, words or connections on it. The only reason I had stopped was the two bolded words at the top. It read, ‘family’ and under that, a red string connected it to, ‘adoption?’ 

“Excuse me,” I whipped my head around at the feminine voice, finding a young woman wearing a pencil skirt and blouse. “Are you lost?” She gave me a once over then raised an eyebrow, probably thinking I had snuck in. “Kind of. I'm supposed to bring Bang some coffee,” I mumbled as the woman's gaze hardened, “Okay kid, enough with the lies or I'll call security.” I knew I definitely didn't fit in with the atmosphere but I didn't think it was that obvious. Also, apparently need to work on my acting skills. “I came here with the boys-” she let out a curt laugh wiping an imaginary tear from her eye, “you're telling me that BTS adopted you, why?” 

Funny, I had been asking myself the same question. 

“Honestly I'm just trying to find the coffee, and if you're really worried I'm not who I say I am then you can supervise me till I get busted.” She raised an eyebrow then tilted her head to one of the corner rooms. “Thank you,” I rushed towards the room, finding a setup of multiple foods and beverages, a coffee stand to the left. Multiple types of coffees, sugars, and creams were laid out in front of me and at the sudden realization, I paled. I had no idea what he wanted in his coffee. Let alone if he liked extra dark roast, light roast or anything in between. My eyes glanced over each of the brews and I decided to pick the caramel dark roast with a little bit of cream and sugar. I winced as I put the lid on the cup, what if he hated it? But could he really be mad at me when all he told me, was to get him a coffee? I carefully picked up the beverage heading back over to the elevator and cautiously watching where I was going so I wouldn't be spilling a hot drink all over someone. Before I could press the up button on the elevator it suddenly beeped open, and I came face to face with a wide-eyed Jungkook. He glanced down at the coffee in my hands and gently took it, bringing it up to his lips and taking a swig. His face contorted in disgust and he prompted to throw the cup into the trash can outside the elevator. 

"Seriously (Y/N), that was disgusting we need to work on your coffee tastes." I shifted my gaze from Jungkook and the trash can, 

"wasn't I suppose to bring that to Bang?" His early words then started to register in my brain, "hey! You can't blame me there were at least ten different types of coffees over there and I didn't know which kind he liked." I pouted while Jungkook chuckled, 

"don't worry about it, Bang doesn't even like coffee." I didn't even try to hide my shocked expression but before I could comment Jungkook was pulling me into the elevator with him. "Only ten coffees, huh must be a slow day." He gave me a cheeky grin just as he pressed the button for floor six. 

"Where are we going now?" I asked out of pure curiosity, "WE have a photoshoot." I raised an eyebrow at the stressed syllable, "We?

[dilettantereviews]

Due to some personal circumstances, finishing this list took longer than I’m proud of, but I hope it’s worth it.

Isolation by Kali Uchis- This was a hard album to write for, not because of the quality (obviously), but because it’s so all over the place and hard to classify. I first paid attention to her through an ONTD original about pop stars with personas, then I thought of her as an indie pop girl, and her collaborations with rap and Latin artists make me compare her to women in R&B or urban music as well. But she’s just Kali. People always talk about “it took Ms.Nancy 8 years for her debut but it’s iconic!!” but for Kali I definitely feel it. The psychedelic baroque intro alone lets you know that you’re about you go on a journey of an album. Songs like Miami, Tomorrow, and Your Teeth, My Neck (and I guess Just a Stranger) all talk about the uncomfortable intersection between wealth and desire, while songs like Dead to Me (lol) give some brevity and energy to this album. For critics who think she can’t sing, Killer has a great Winehouse-esque performance. The album cover looks like a Prince Protege vanity set fantasy painting.

Joyride by Tinashe- Tinashe had a weird 2017, with Flame flopping, Light Up the Sky dropping, and a bizarre Taco Tuesday outing (why?!?! They said it was a networking event, but for who? The girl has more collaborations than all the different companies Pepsi distributes for), but her 2018 was better. We got a random HQ picture that turned out to be the first cover for a tringle that lead to Joyride. She answered many questions like yes, she did need to use legal options to release Joyride, and no, she didn’t like Flame. She release a great pop album that is a little Frankensteined together but you can still use all the songs. Although things seem murky now, I feel that Tinashe will keep giving us great, unique music. Personal favorites include No Drama, Faded Love, No Contest, and Ooh La La.

Caution by Mariah Carey- I keep seeing people mention that this is their first Mariah album, which is appropriate, because this feels like a new beginning for her. It’s my first Mariah album too, but I’ve seen one Popjustice member say that this is her only album where she mainly sings in a lower register and where the background instrumentals are darker electronics. I’ve heard that Me.. I am Mariah at least tried out new things, but this incorporated everything successfully. I’ve never really listened to Mariah before because I just figured it would be mostly ballads and midtempos, but this album kept things unique. Highlights include GTFO, A No No, Giving Me Life, and Portrait. This album is the sonic equivalent of putting your favorite Bath and Body Works moisturizer on, making a warm drink, and hiding under a weighted blanket, and who doesn’t want that in a year like this?

Take Me to the Disco by Meg Myers- People say that there are too many meaningless buzzwords (true) but I don’t think alt vs indie rock is one of those. Indie is generally minimal and guitar based but alt is left of the middle rock and expansive. Meg went for category 2. Following her great debut album from 2015, she went for a bigger, better, and darker sound this time. It reminds me of Tori (Tear Me to Pieces and Jealous Sea sound very Choirgirl), PJ, Trent, and the Smashing Pumpkins. Take Me to the Disco is a nice ballad that starts out the album, which doesn’t prepare you at all for Numb, the following track. Done and Funeral are also strong. Listen if you’re tired of slackers in music.

Childqueen by Kadhja Bonet- If music indicates mood, I don’t know what Spotify premium subscribing, Allmusic reading, time travelling aliens would know about 2018. Sure, there were some political albums, but I feel like the pace of crappy events was faster than (High quality) political music. Even on a personal level, 2018 wasn’t ridiculously iconic or anything for me, and I was still petty and had grudges to work on. That being said, I have no clue how psychedelic music became big for me this year. We had Moodoid, Melody’s Echo Chamber, The Internet (sort of), and Dita Von Teese. But my favorite is perhaps Kadhja Bonet, whose theatrical sounds are like the score to an old Disney movie. Mother, …, and Second Wind are great. Bonus EP was released this fall.

so sad, so sexy by Lykke Li- I haven’t really listened to Lykke before, so I figured her pop reinvention was a good time to get into her. This album reminds me of Nelly Furtado for indie songwriting but with hooks. Although sometimes the trap parts are a little awkward (use vaporwave instead!), this was a good reinvention. My favorites include Two Nights featuring Amine (he is NOT a rent a rapper!), Jaguars in the Air (you and me we’re psychedelic!), and of course, sex money feelings die. I would love a Jessy Lanza remix album commissioned.

Silk Canvas by Vanjess- Everyone loves whisper registers and high pitched whisper singing in R&B (Diana Ross, Janet, Aaliyah, Ciara, Cassie, Tinashe) but what I really love is a deep voice (or at least one that sounds a little raspy). Vanjess joins Her, Total, and T Boz and even The Weeknd in the deep vocals crowd. Don’t mark these Nigerian princesses as spam, just give them a stream, no bank accounts required. I like that they have a better understanding of making a cohesive album with different genres and still staying in a certain vibe instead of doing the same song 12 times. Even their remix EP gets that. Control Me and Addicted, the big singles from this album, are good symbols for their moody R&B sound but they have more than that. Touch the Floor is more uptempo in the vein of Kaytranada, as are the excellent Through Enough and Another Love. My Love reminds me of Aaliyah’s One in a Million. The One picks up where the 80’s revival trend left off, but improves on the synth funk sound. Even Cool Off the Rain, a 2 minute interlude, is worth listening to.

7 by Beach House- I don’t know what made this album click with me. This is my 4th album for Beach House, so I thought I just wouldn’t get them by now, I listen to dream pop and shoegaze enough where I thought I’d like any vibey music. This album didn’t reinvent the wheel but it has warmth to it, without losing their signature ‘when your arm has pins and needles and you need to wiggle yourself to a healthy blood circulation again’ sound. Favorites include Lemon Glow, Black Car, Dark Spring, and Girl of the Year. I also recommend Wax idols and Pinkshinyultrablast if you’re looking for more shoegaze..

Dita Von Teese by Dita Von Teese- This was always going to be a niche passion project by a burlesque artist, so I don’t think it was ever going to set the charts on fire, but not even the internet cared about this? If you miss Lana’s old Hollywood glamour, you should check out this album. It mixes 60’s psychedelics with electronic music to create a perfect loungy sound. I’m not saying I’m those “I miss 2012 Lana!!” but I stuck with her through her Old Hollywood Jackie Kennedy Born to Die phase, her 60’s Manson Girl Ultraviolence cult phase, her 50’s (?) maps to the stars Honeymoon, and 70’s singer songwriter Lust for Life phase, so I was excited to see what other incarnations we would get. Would we get a full on spaced out culty version of Honeymoon? An 80’s Midwest goth album? A late 90’s vaporwave mixtape? Okay, most of these are just words thrown together that nobody would want, but Dita’s album had the concept and the execution there, all it needed was the audience. The French songs have a certain sadness in them. I like Bird of Prey and Dangerous Guy as well, but the whole album is well produced and beautiful sounding, so you should listen to it if you just want some easy listening that’s riskier than most of pop and alternative’s current artists.

Black Panther- Yes, this should count as an album. I’ve seen people treat The Hunger Games soundtracks (yes, those movies didn’t spontaneously appear on TNT one day) as real albums and stan Lorde’s vision for it. I’ve seen people stan the soundtrack for A Star is Born, like it’s a real Lady Gaga album, but Black Panther is where y’all draw the line? Okay. Aside from the breakout single, you get a good vocal performance from SZA, a top tier Jorja Smith song, the best flute performance of 2018, and the downtemp Seasons. That a random soundtrack can have that much cohesion is good for Kendrick Lamar but bad for other artists.

[stargirlrchive]

Unexpected

remus lupin x reader

okay i am in the biggest remus mood and it’s honestly all because of @lupintales <3333

masterlist ; prompt list (request stuff!)

disclaimer(s): mentions of unprotected sex, unexpected pregnancy, !!!drinking!!!, things that involve before/during pregnancy (gif isn’t mine)

word count: 1595

8 months before

I had woke up to a throbbing headache and a pulsing in my stomach, my eyes were trying to adjust to the light and that just made my head hurt even more. As I sat up properly my eyes adjusted to the bedroom I was in and a small sigh of relief left me as they took in Remus’ belongings.

The relief was very short lived as I felt a small stir besides me and I saw Remus in a deep sleep but with nothing on. As soon as I caught a glimpse of his bare back, flashbacks of the night before came flooding into my mind.

We were so drunk and Remus was trying to cope with a breakup that happened a couple of months ago. Everything was flashing so quickly in my mind and I began to fear for the worse, this was going to change so many things between us.

As everything finally registered in my mind I realized that Remus might not even know we slept together. If I hadn’t woken up next to him I would’ve just thought I fell asleep and took my clothes off before. I quickly changed myself and tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to make myself some coffee.

I heard several snickers behind me and James, Lily, and Sirius all had smug looks on their faces,

“6 years of unspoken feelings let out in one heavily heated act of passion.”

“Sirius, shut up. I don’t even think he’s going to remember so please don’t mention it. He’s still not over his breakup and honestly it was just a hook up. I was so hammered I would’ve hooked up with you.”

“Hey! You can do a lot worse than Sirius!”

James had piped up and he and Sirius shared a high five.

Lily’s eyes had rolled so far back and she scoffed quietly, “I don’t know how you do it, (Y/N). I’m actually with one of these morons and I wouldn’t move in with the 3 of them.”

“You get used to it, honestly. However I get what you mean, they’re complete morons.”

We had all been sitting around in the kitchen when a loud groan came from the door way that had all of us shutting up, the tension was quickly filling the air as Remus entered.

His hands were pressed to his temple and the look of utter pain decorated his features.

“Merlin, why’d you all let me get that hammered. I don’t even remember what happened after James and Sirius began singing Stevie Wonder.”

A small sigh of relief had left all of our throats but I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit disappointed.

-

5 months before

It was small signs that things were off. I had been so stressed that I had not noticed that I hadn’t been visited by my normally monthly friend, also I had been craving random things. Things that had never sparked my interest before or the way my skin felt dry and I was constantly feeling like I was burning up. Then it was the fact that I had gained 7 pounds in a week. But again I had been so stressed with work that a part of me just believed it to be stress eating.

However the thing that possibly shouted pregnancy in my head and that had me piecing everything together happened today, just a couple of hours ago when I woke up to an upset stomach and a heavy wave of morning sickness that lasted quite some time.

I had instantly called out from work and asked Lily to accompany me to the local doctors office. It had only been about 3 minutes before the doctor came in bearing the news but it felt like an eternity,

“Congratulations Ms. (Y/L/N), you’re 12 weeks pregnant.”

-

4 1/2 months before

I just remember crying for the first 2 weeks of finding out, and avoiding the boys at all cost. I would lock myself in my room and contemplate how in the world I was meant to tell Remus that 1) we slept together about 4 months ago and 2) you’re going to be a dad now.

I had still been avoiding the boys, I’d wait until they weren’t in the living room or in the kitchen to eat or I’d make sure to just take my food into my room because looking at Remus just made me want to cry.

However today my stomach had been grumbling so loud and I felt like I was starving. So I really couldn’t wait and I quickly made my way into the kitchen, the smell of the food instantly hitting me and I could feel myself bubbling up at the thought of eating.

“I forgot we had a 4th roommate.”

The snarky comment from James had me feeling extremely bad, and the stupid hormones were not helping and I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. The utter shock on their faces and the apologies didn’t stop the tears from flowing rapidly down my face and I mumbled ‘sorry’s’ as I turned to walk back to my bedroom.

“James, you arse! (Y/N) stop, James was just messing around because they haven’t seen you in a while. He didn’t mean it.”

Lily had pulled me back to the table and she quickly got up and served me a plate, once again I could feel the happiness bubbling in my stomach as I began eating.

The boys had been eyeing me warily as Lily quietly engaged me in a conversation,

“Do they know yet?”

I shook my head no and the nerves settled into me once again.

“I need to tell them but I’m scared. How do I tell Remus?”

“I think you should just say it right here and right now. Either way they’re going find out sooner or later.”

My eyes had settled on Remus and he was already looking at me, his cheeks glowed with a soft pink and he smiled at me. A part of me felt like he knew we had slept together, one way or another he had an idea that something happened because James and Sirius began making comments and subtle jokes that Remus would just get quiet when they did.

“I need to tell you guys something.”

The silence that settled in the room made my nerves act up even more and I couldn’t stop myself, “I’m moving out!”

“(Y/N) that’s not what you were going to say.”

The boys had began talking rapidly in the back and I wanted to laugh, “Ok, I’m sorry I’m not actually moving out. I just got scared.”

The boys once again were staring at me intently, probably trying to decipher my odd behavior.

“I’m pregnant. About 4 months.”

They had stilled so much that I couldn’t even tell if they were breathing. 

My eyes were stuck on Remus and once again his eyes were already on mine. His eyes glimmered slightly and he broke out into a huge smile. Maybe things weren’t going to be as bad as I thought they were. I’d just have to tell him sooner or later that it was his child I was pregnant with.

-

We had all gone up to sleep when I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door, the door was pushed open and Remus’ head popped in,

“Can I come in?”

At my nod he walked in and laid down next to me, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“You think I’d forgot something that I had been wanting to happen for the longest time?”

“You never said anything about it.”

“I thought you were embarrassed. You left the room before I woke up so I just assumed you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“And I assumed that you weren’t going to remember and I didn’t want anything to change between the two of us.”

His hand had rested on the very small bump that was barely beginning to grow form, “Were you scared to tell me?”

“Yes, I’ve known for almost a month now and I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you.”

“Well just know I’m never leaving your side now.”

“I’m fine with that.”

He pressed a small kiss to my temple and his hand drew small shapes all over my stomach, drumming small beats on it as well.

-

Present time

Remus had his head on my lap and he was rubbing small circles all over it, he only seemed to not kick when he heard his fathers voice and as much as I loved the fact he was moving around, it hurt.

Every jab of his foot made a small whimper leave from my lips as I could never seem to be comfortable.

Remus had began to press kisses all along the swell of my belly and rub the sides of my stomach as well, he was talking and talking for what felt like hours and I could feel him calming down and drowsiness began to creep up inside me,

“You need to be good, little one.”

All together the kicking stopped and I could feel myself relaxing even more, “Thank you.”

“Of course, love.”

His lips pressed to mine gently and he shifted us so I was resting my head on his shoulder. I let myself sink into his arms as Remus and I talked about how 3 weeks was so close yet so far and how we couldn’t wait to finally have him here with us.

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