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#it might never be normal but they'll always have each other no matter what
loumauve · 2 months
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if I still wrote I sure would write a Nancy/Robin fic to Noah Kahan's Halloween. it just such a good song and it fits the-post-all-things-Upside-Down them so well
it's the
And the last that I heard you were down in New Orleans Working your days at the print I'll drink 'till I drown and I smoke 'till I'm burning Your hands are all over my scent I worry for you, you worry for me And it's fine if we know we won't change
and the
But the wreckage of you I no longer reside in The bridges have long since been burned And the ash of the home that I started the fire in It starts to return to the Earth I'm leaving this town and I'm changing my address I know that you'll come if you want It's not Halloween but the ghost you're dressed up as Sure knows how to haunt, yeah, you know how to haunt
for me.
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uravitypng · 5 months
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𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬
pairing: bakusquad x chubby reader (katsuki bakugo + hanta sero + mina ashido + eijiro kirishima + denki kaminari)
word count: 4.4k words
a/n: definitely haven't been working on this for months <33 this turned out more fluffy than intended for a free use fic asdfghj. basically they all need to be dating!!! none of the bakusquad have any contact with each other... yet... idk i might make a part two where they're not just taking turns but all together with the reader
content warnings: free use, unprotected vaginal sex, oral (f!recieving & m!recieving), vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, cockwarming, groping, biting, dumbification, slight breeding mention, somno, wlw, spanking, petnames - mdni (like my whole tumblr)
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when becoming friends and roommates with the bakusquad you didn't realise what it would exactly entail. becoming friends with five successful pro heroes while you're a civilian is something you would never expect, not in your wildest dreams, so it's not a surprise to you that your feelings for them grew with each day and after a particular turn of events you let them use you however they wanted. if they want to take out their frustrations of a stressful day by roughly fucking you than you're more than willing to oblige to their request or if they want to tenderly make love to you after an emotional and exhausting day you're more than willing to oblige- you're their toy after all.
they'll use you anywhere and anywhen, it doesn't matter if you're in public or if you're sleeping, you've given them your full consent.
the first time it happened was with katsuki. he was angry and annoyed and you didn't know what to do, you've never truly seen him like this before and you haven't been friends with him as long as the others have been friends with him, you didn't want to make it worse. ideally you would ask the others what you should do but they were all busy working.
you later found out a journalist cornered him after a minor rescuing incident and asked him more intrusive questions than normal and that day it got to him more than normal too. for some reason the press always seems to ask him more personal questions than other heroes you know and you can't figure out why but you have a few ideas: to see his reaction, to get more information about his private life from him because he's one of the more secretive heroes, or to see his 'real' personality wondering if everything they see in public is all just an image.
"i'm sorry katsuki. is there anything i can do to make you feel a bit better?" you ask him and in less then ten seconds he's pinned you against the wall and is biting your bottom lip making you moan, giving him the opportunity to move his tongue into your mouth, intertwining your tongues and muffling any surprised noises that threaten to come out of you. you feel his large callus palms run all over your body as he pushes up your shirt and touches every single part of his skin he can get his hands on, leaving bruises and pretty marks to decorate your equally pretty body.
katsuki shoves his hand underneath your underwear, not bothering to take off your clothes and fingers you until you start screaming his name and your vision begins to go blurry.
"holy shit katsuki. feel's so good." he pumps two of his thick fingers inside of you and his ego soars as he not only feels how wet you are but hears it too as your cunt squelches and you clench around his fingers. he smirks as you come undone on his fingers chanting his name over and over again, your fists gripping onto his shirt tightly.
"this'll make me feel better," he grunts and tries to press his body closer to yours than it already was, your tits now completely pressed against him. "god shitty woman how oblivious can ya be? swear you're useless sometimes. a fucking dumbass." if you were someone else you might have taken offence to him calling you shitty woman or useless especially in the position you're currently in but you're use to him calling you names by now knowing he doesn't mean them negatively, if anything they're affectionate, most of the time he'll call people extras and you're glad he doesn't see you as an extra.
"oblivious?"
katsuki grits his teeth, "shut up," he grunts and you feel his hardened cock against your thigh, he slams his lips against yours again and starts kissing you even more furiously, if you didn't know better you'd say passionately but you don't think he'd ever kiss you passionately.
he sees your eyes glazed over with a daze on your face and smirks. his hand goes behind you to cups the curve of your ass then slaps with the sound echoing against the walls, making you whine. you feel the humidity that's resting on his palms and your whole body tingles imaging him using his quirk (controlled) on you.
"no one else has made ya feel this good have they sweetheart?" he asks gruffly already knowing the answer.
"no, no one else 'suki. no one has ever made me ever feel this good!" you reply honestly, tears starting to fill your waterline.
he knows you're being honest and if anything you're being more forgiving of your previous sexual encounters and talking more favourable about your past sexual partners than they deserve. "fuckin' criminal."
after what happened with katsuki you sat down with your friends and told them that you give them your consent to use you whenever. katsuki looked so much calmer after and his body looked more relaxed, less tension. you couldn't help but think that your other friends would be the same.
you were bashful the whole time while speaking, mumbling and looking away, your whole face felt like it were on fire but you were offering to help them all, you knew how stressful their work is and you wanted to help.
you want them, you wouldn't tell them that part though, neither did you ever have to think hard on your proposal.
all of them loved the idea, why wouldn't they? they're madly in love with you. over time all of them fell in love with you but none of them would ever make a move on you not willing to lose or jeopardise the friendship they have with you nor are they willing to make a move while knowing how the others feel about you either. you're sweet, and kind, and beautiful, and brilliant, and a hundred million more things that make you special in their eyes.
none of them thought they would ever get the chance to be with you in any such way, romantic or sexual, and they were more then content with being your friend, strictly platonic, but now they get to be your friend and they get to sleep with you, they're ecstatic.
hanta likes cockwarming with you, every single chance he gets he pulls you onto his lap and onto his cock without warning and puts on a movie to watch as he watches you squirm and try to keep still but it's so hard keeping still when the longest dick you've ever seen is inside of you and you feel it throbbing.
hanta sees you struggling and grins as you shift around and whimper quietly. you're biting your hand to try to keep silent but it's ineffective. "hush princesa, i'm trying to watch the film." he says teasingly, holding onto your plush waist to keep you from moving and lifts up your top, caressing your soft skin making you get goosebumps from the sensation of his cold rings touching you.
occasionally he'll lazily thrust up into you, making you squeak, he'll chuckle at the noises you make and get off on how needy you are for him. "you look so beautiful sitting on my lap mi amor," your heart flutters and your face heats up whenever he calls you affectionate names in his first language and especially when he calls you my love, "but aren't you suppose to be pleasing me? you seem very needy and demanding for someone who has offered their body to me." you shudder as he speaks, still with his hand caressing your body.
you look at him and pout, causing his grin to widen. "not my fault, you feel really good."
hanta's voice drops lower and becomes husky while he leans closer to you, "yeah?"
you nod your head and try to wrap your arms around him, admittedly unsuccessfully from the position you're currently in as you're facing away from him to 'watch' the movie with him, making hanta chuckle. "yeah," you reply.
hanta smirks as he looks down at you over your shoulder and tenderly strokes your arm, "beg me to move." with no hesitation you beg.
with everyone else they'll take what they want from you and get you to come as many times as they want (if they do want you to cum) without you having to beg but hanta is different, he'll make you cry and beg for him. no matter how horny he is he'll wait for you to become putty in his hands as you cry buried in the crook of his neck, trying to grind against him and wetting his shoulder with your tears, pleading for anything he gives you. he loves seeing you cry for him and plead for his cock.
you're always so pliant for him and he likes to make you even more pliant. as your reward for listening to him he grabs your wide hips and starts to move you up and down, harshly, making the ability to breathe leave your body momentarily at the sudden movement all while cooing at you, albeit condescendingly. "awe does that feel good princesa? you finding it hard to take it all?" he grins as you tip your head back and rests it on his shoulder, your moans getting louder, unable to respond and form a coherent sentence.
you feel like you feel him all the way in throat, a completely impossible thought of course but it's hard to think otherwise with each time he slams you back down and your pelvis meets his it's making you lose every braincell you have with how good you feel and how good he fills you up.
"open up," you compliantly open your mouth still in a daze and hanta spits in your mouth, grinning as he watches you swallow it without any prior audible command to do so already knowing from previous liaisons.
his pace changes, every so often becoming quicker with shallow thrusts than back to a regular pace with deeper thrusts just to tease you and make you light headed, not knowing what to expect next. his groans become more audible and he grips onto you tighter, his blunt nails making a crescent imprint on your hips. "s-shit hanta i can't, too much."
"i thought you were my good girl. you were begging for me only awhile ago." he smirks, starting to get close.
"i am! i am your good girl, promise! just 's a lot."
he chuckles at your obedience, you really are his good girl, made for him- and the others.
but he does wonder if you're that obedient with them as you are with him.
he purposefully slows down his pace and wraps one arm around your supple middle keeping you bouncing and tilts your chin up to look at him with his other hand before placing a gentle chaste kiss on your lips.
mina seizes every opportunity to lay lingering wet kisses down your neck all the way to your chest. you get goosebumps as you feel her breath against your skin and feel the sticky lipgloss left over from her lips.
mina never wears lipstick but she's nearly always seen wearing lipgloss and they're always flavoured ones, enjoying the look of how the sticky remnant remains on your skin after being transferred from her lips and how you seemingly unconsciously swipe your tongue out over your own lips afterwards to taste the flavour that remains.
whenever a man comes onto her apparently not understanding the word 'no' she comes straight to you afterwards so she can feel you up and touch your soft body and curves. you're so much better than anyone else and she's so glad that you let her touch you however and whenever she wants.
beforehand when someone was so persisted that it grossed her out she still would come to see you, you were roommates and very close friends after all. mina would complain about them and you would listen and bash them because how dare they keep being so disrespectful, unable to be take a hint or handle rejection.
the entire time when mina used to talk about them she'd think about how soft your lips looked, how good her hand would look wrapped around your throat and how she wants to go down on you so bad that you pull her hair and more importantly squeeze your thighs together in between her head.
"such a sweet little thing for me," she tells you and kisses your ankle. you whimper and she opens up your thighs wider for now, wanting to get a good look at your pretty pussy. mina flicks her tongue up against your pussy lips making a shiver run down your spine before her tongue enters into your soaking hole, moaning at your taste and your aroma, making her dizzy in the process. you can't help but squeal and shudder at the sensation as her eyes gleam with every new noise you make. she removes her tongue from inside of you, the sweet taste still lingering on her tongue. she flicks her tongue up again, curling two fingers back into you and starts sucking on your clit.
the pleasure builds up inside of you with every curl of her fingers, "that's a good girl, come for me," mina mumbles against your clit and you squeeze your thighs with mina's head between them, not being able to stop yourself as you're about to come again for the third time in an hour.
"oh fuck, min-" the last syllable of mina's name is silenced in an inaudible groan as the coil in your stomach snapped and you unravelled where she helped to ride out your orgasm still between your doughy thighs.
now she gets her wish whenever she wants as she's able to look up to see how your voluptuous body shakes. she gets to feel how soft and warm your thick thighs feel wrapped around her head.
as you calm down from another intense orgasm you move to look at mina, "what about you?" hinting that you desperately want to return the favour.
she can see the neediness in your eyes and giggles. "i can't right now sweet pea, i've got to go to work."
"already?"
mina giggles again, "i'll be back soon babes then we can carry on from where we left off, okay?" she smiles brightly and takes her leave feeling equalling as needy as you but who can blame her when she spent the last hour pleasuring you and feeling your plump body underneath hers and getting you see your gorgeous face scrunched up in pleasure. mina doesn't mind the needy feeling though as the look on your face is worth it as she leaves because she knows when she comes back home you'll make her feel just as good as she made you feel.
eijiro works nights a lot of the time which means typically you get woken up by him. this means most nights you sleep with only a nightie on or a baggy pyjama shirt foregoing underwear or pyjama bottoms so eijiro doesn't have to worry about fiddling with any layers and pulling them down. the only exemptions about the clothes are when it's particularly cold that night.
after work he'll want to feel your soft body squish in between his fingers as he presses down on your malleable skin, groping you wherever he can get his hands on and pumping his girthy cock in his other hand a couple times, wanting to be buried in that sweet cunt that he loves so much so it's no surprise to you to be woken up to his grunts and gentle thrusts.
whenever you do wake up he feels guilty. he knows you need, and like your sleep and he never intended to wake you up so he strokes the sides of your body and softly tells you to go back to bed while kissing your temple.
sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but no matter the outcome of trying to get you to go back to sleep your body always has the same reaction, mewls and moans leaving your body involuntarily and you becoming more and more wet with each thrust that it's dripping down to your thick thighs.
the times when you don't fall back to sleep you don't move much, very much a pillow princess in those moments but that's what eijiro prefers. he likes looking after you and treating you like the princess you are. he enjoys doing all the work so when you do wake up all you can do is rub your eyes sleepily and moan louder while he tries to shush you because no doubt someone has to be up in a few hours for patrol.
"p-please," you whine but you don't know what you're begging for. eijiro knows though as he pushes the remaining inches of his cock inside of you, you both hiss, and he slowly and deeply starts moving in you. you grab hold of his muscular forearms and whine about the pleasurable stretch.
you turn your head to the side so your neck is bare. he knows what you want more than your tired words can mumble out so he turns your neck further to the side than you did to keep you still and bites down, not hard enough to cause serious pain and break your skin but enough to hurt slightly and cause you to gasp, your mind momentarily going blank and your hips to jerk up.
before you started sleeping with eijiro you didn't know you liked the sensation of getting bitten so much until he bit you to keep himself quiet while at a very lively party. normally he wouldn't mind people hearing how good he makes you feel and vise versa but there was a minority of people at that party who were all trying to make a new hero commission and he didn't want to to draw attention to you or him with those people, knowing what the last commission did. even though you are just a civilian he wants to make sure they stay well away from you but still that wasn't enough to drag you into an empty room and fuck you until you couldn't stand after seeing how beautiful you looked that night.
ever since then biting became involved in your sex life. eijiro knew he liked biting people before you, he enjoys the surprised gasps and how bodies move but with you it's completely different, it's on a whole new level with how plump your body is, it's like heaven. no matter where he bites you there's always some part he can sink his teeth into making your body beautifully buck up uncontrollably. the whole experience and sensation making him groan and the noises you always make in bed are like no over- ethereal, just like the rest of you.
when he hears the slapping sound of your two bodies making contact get louder and louder and sees the creamy ring left over from each thrust he has to hold onto you tighter, gripping hold of your love handles, enough to leave bruises, and looking up at the ceiling not wanting to cum yet. he knows as soon as he looks down at your cute face or perfect body he'll immediately orgasm so to try and make himself last longer he'll look up.
that on top of the quicker pace and him touching your clit, just the way you like it, makes you come. you clench around him and moan words incomprehensibly causing him to come too as he feels you get tighter around him.
"gonna clean you up in a second baby just let me stay inside you for awhile." at this point you're both falling asleep, he wraps his muscular arms around you tighter and manhandles your chubby body so you're laying on top of him, your arm on his chest and your face in his neck, the whole time making sure his dick doesn't accidentally slip out of you. even though you're semi conscious you know that you're going to be sleeping like this all night, both of you are too tired to move, with your last moments of consciousness being your slow blinks that you use to gaze up at eijiro admiring how handsome he is, you like when his hair is down after showering because without it being styled to be spiky you can see his roots coming through, red mixing with his natural black, even now when he's half asleep and ready for bed he looks just as handsome as he does at any fancy hero event he attends. "you feel too good to get up and leave and anyway i've got to plug you full, breed you properly to make sure it sticks." he mumbles against your forehead half asleep, drifting off only a minute or so after.
out of everyone denki is the one to touch you the most, if no one else is kissing you he's taking the opportunity to kiss you and hold you all over. he's the most emotional and vulnerable when it comes to sex too. he feels safe around you, to let his carefree persona down and to be sensitive and vulnerable, just staying fully in the moment with you.
the first time you slept together, you kissed his chest all the way to his hips making his hips buck up. he had wanted you so bad for so long and now he finally had you.
originally, you had stroked his cock for the first time and you heard a string of moans and it immediately turned you on more than you already were. as he got closer to his release he said breathy, "please don't stop, this will probably be the only chance i ever get to touch you." it had shocked you not realising that he felt that way but you didn't stop, doing what you were told, and knowing you were going to talk to him after.
not long after, he came and you threw your arms around him, arms wrapped around his neck and clinging onto him. he was still catching his breath, "do you really think this was a one time thing denki? i told you all before that i want to do this." he blushed and squished your cheeks, a habit he had picked up on doing recently at the time, you swat his hands away and giggle, denki smiles.
denki is also the most possessive which surprised you, if you thought anyone would be possessive your guess would be katsuki but it's really denki. he gets jealous when you spend more time with the others than you do with him and will want your attention. it's even more noticeable when it comes to other people who aren't in the bakusquad.
if you ever smile too cheerfully at someone, laugh too loudly at someone's jokes or if someone flirts with you he gets extremely jealous, you never flirt back though, you have everything you need and sometimes you don't even realise they were flirting in the first place.
at times like that denki is the most vulnerable. as soon as you both get home he's kissing you tenderly and holding you like fragile treasured glass in his arms. most of the time he takes you to the bedroom and lays you on the bed but this time he pushes your head down gently and you fall to you knees carefully. "do you need a cushion babe?"
your heart warms at how considerate he is. you look up at him and shake your head, "i'm okay," you smile up at him and you don't miss the way his cheeks are dusted pink. unzipping his jeans and pulling them down, along with his boxers that already are wet with precum leaking from his cock, you kiss his thigh and stare at his .
denki holds onto your head as you part your lips and open your mouth, taking him in your mouth. you hollow your cheeks and grab a hold of his thighs. he keeps his hips still no matter how much he wants to rut inside your wonderful wet and warm mouth. when his hips do occasionally buck it makes you gag before he corrects himself and pushes back against the wall trying to control himself not to pound up into you, he wants you to control the pace. the moans that he makes as you take him further only spur you on as your pace gets quicker and your nose presses against his lean stomach momentarily before having to leave and gasp for air. denki may not be as thick as eijiro or as long as hanta but he's still big, more than people would assume, he's bigger than average (only if slightly.) denki's arm rests of his head while he takes deep breaths.
"fuck babe that was-" you cut him off as you take him in your mouth again and wrap your lips around him and you hollow your cheeks once again. his moans and groans become more frequent and you can tell that he's about to come.
his grip get's tighter while resting on your head and his groans get deeper. "gonna come, you swallow alright babe." you hum in confirmation, "shit, shit, shit," his eyebrows pinch together and his hot cum sprays in ropes at the back of your throat and you mourn not being able to properly fully taste him. denki lifts you up by your elbows and when you come face-to-face you kiss his cheek, he's not satisfied with that though and he passionately makes out with you not caring that he just came in your mouth and is holding onto your plush waist while grinning against your lips. "bedroom." he whispers in your ear making you shudder at the demanding tone he used, not often does he use it but whenever he does... well it makes your whole body tingle.
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valeriele3 · 6 months
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hello! I've been craving some octotrio angst and was wondering if you would indulge lol. if it's within your boundaries, what about a reader who struggles with self harm?
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Octotrio x GN!Yuu/Reader
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The reader in this fic is Yuu although the fic is mostly in 2nd pov ^^; Warnings: Self-harm(reader/Yuu), attempted suicide(reader/Yuu), and implied depression(reader/Yuu), not proofread (Please lmk if I missed smth) Words: 2019
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Self-harm
It was one of the things you thought you'd never do.
Everything was perfect; your life was perfect, or so you thought.
You were grateful; you really were. You had both your parents, had nice siblings, or, if you ignore the usual sibling shenanigans, they were nice, your grandparents had always supported you, you had a lot of friends, good grades, you never had to go through a day with an empty stomach, and even lived in a decently sized house.
So where did it all go wrong? Why have you fallen into this hole? When did it start?
All you knew was that one moment everything was perfect, and the other everything seemed to crumble down.
Little by little, the beautiful tower you had built crumbled and turned into ruin. 
The anger, the sadness, and the fatigue that you had been keeping locked away burst open, spilling all over.
No matter how much you try to scoop it up and place it back into its container, it leaks back. After all, a broken container can't keep everything inside; it'll continue to leak.
The festering emotions got too much to handle.
And so, you just gave up.
Why try to contain something that'll somehow keep getting out?
You hid
You cried
Pleading that someone, anyone, to help you, to rescue you, to be that prince who rescues his damsel in those fairytales you've read as a child.
But, oh, you've mistaken something. Life isn't a fairytale; it never was and isn't even close to being one. This is reality; there is no shining prince to rescue you, and there is no happily ever after.
But then, you thought of something; why not distract yourself instead?
If, for even a second, you could forget about your troubles, wouldn't that be great?
Although temporarily, you can be free.
'Ah, but isn't self-harm bad?'
'I̵̬͝'̸̨̈́m̷̘͒ ̸͙̅s̷̹̋u̶̫͗r̵̠̾e̸̘͝ ̶̳̈́i̵͓͂t̷̤͊'̷̞̓ṣ̷̃ ̶̪̆f̴̮̔i̸̳͆n̸̜̊e̵̤̍.̸̱̈́ ̸͎͝Ì̷͖t̸͙͠'̶͇̄s̴̻͛ ̶̛̼ó̴ͅn̴̝͝l̸̤͛ý̵̤ ̴̹̔ó̴̖n̴̖̄c̶̻̈́e̵̦͘ ̶̟̀o̷̻̎r̶̺͛ ̷̬̄t̵̜̏ẃ̴̠i̴̗̇c̵̱͌ȩ̶̑ ̶̺͋a̶̱͋n̷̪͘ỳ̴̖w̷̤̐a̷̟͋ỳ̸̟.̵̠̂'
'Just o̵̪͒n̴̜̈c̵̤̃e̴͕̚ then..'
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Oh, how foolish you were.
Once someone feels the relief they've been longing for, it's hard to let go.
They'll keep seeking it.
They'll keep wanting.
They'll grow to be reliant on that addictive feeling of your worries going away.
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With each passing day, week, and month, the scars on your arm increase.
Your family has grown worried.
Their once cheerful child suddenly turned gloomy. Oh, what could have happened to their beloved child? But alas, they never dared to ask.
They just watched as you spiraled down into the abyss.
Everyone did
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T̶̻̑h̶̄ͅĕ̷͖r̸̩̀a̶̫̕p̴̝͝y̶̧̎
You and your 'friends' were hanging out during lunch.
You sat at the farthest corner, listening to their laughter, when suddenly one of them piped up, "Hey, Yuu, you should go to a therapist; otherwise, you might just infect everyone with that gloom you have." Everyone seemed to think it was funny and burst into laughter.
That comment was obviously a jab at you, but.. maybe they were right.
A therapist—you never thought of that. Maybe.. you can return to your old ways if you try it out.
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You had been going to a therapist for the past 2 years.
The progress is slow, but there's a bit of improvement, at least.
You were slowly returning to being a "normal human being."
You'll be free.
Soon
You'll be free from the shackles.
You just have to endure a bit more.
'̶̯͠A̶͓͠h̸͎̊,̵͇̈ ̸̺̍ȟ̶̜o̷̬͒w̵̠̎ ̸̤̏s̸̬̅t̸͙͠ǘ̸̠p̷̙͝i̷̯͝d̶͔̂ ̷͈̚I̶̧͗ ̷̤̉w̴̩̄ȃ̸ͅs̸̠̿ ̴͚̀ť̴̫o̴͉͛ ̴̜͗b̸͎̏ę̷̂l̷̰̂ị̶̈́ẻ̵̩v̴̟͐e̶̗͘ ̷͒͜ḽ̷͌ì̷͙f̶̹̓ḙ̷̂ ̶͒͜w̸̻̿o̷͚͛ų̴̛l̶͈̉d̵̠̀ ̷̧̈́b̵̛̜e̷͍̾ ̴͙̓t̴̞̋h̶̥̍à̶̫t̶̖̿ ̶͈͛ë̶͎́a̸̭̍s̷͚͂y̷̼̾'̴̯͝
Just when you thought life had finally smiled upon you
Everything seemed to crumble again.
Your failing grades had caught up to you; your family is now struggling to make ends meet; and the people around you slowly left one by one.
"̵̭́W̷͔͂h̵̯̚ỵ̸̐?̴̧̕"̷̰͆
̸̳̂"̵̦͊I̵̡͝'̶̺̑l̷̼̈́l̸̬͌ ̴͓͠b̸̩͌e̷̳͒ ̶̪͝b̴̨͆ḛ̶̊ṯ̸͘t̵͈̅e̵͓͐r̸̫̃ ̶̮͝t̵̫̓h̵̻͐i̷̖̅ș̴̎ ̸̞͌t̶̼̆i̵͓̿m̸͓̀ë̵̻́!̵̪͂ ̴̙̀P̴̋ͅl̶͔̾e̸͇͌a̴͍̾s̶̬͝e̴͉͑ ̴̺̈́c̶̜͊o̷̘͝m̷̩͛é̶̟ ̷̜̊b̷̦͝ä̶͎́c̷͍̐k̶̩̓!̸̭̒"̶̞́
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Everything crumbled beyond repair
Life.. felt hopeless and useless; it was painful.
You were walking down the street when you thought
'Maybe if I were to rush into oncoming traffic, my pain will finally end'
Just as you were about to take a step towards the traffic, you heard a horse neighing. 
You turn your head to the left and see a carriage heading your way.
You were frozen.
One part wanted to move away from danger, and the other wanted to stay in place.
Y̵͚̋ò̵̝u̴͍͑ ̴͔̍w̴̪͆ã̴̙n̷̠͝t̷̖͌e̴̳̍d̶̖̑ ̸̦͆t̵̗͑o̷̫̓ ̶̙̉l̶̞̔i̵̦̿v̵̩̈́e̷̡̔
Not even a second later, you collide with the carriage.
'Ah, I guess I really am destined for a bad ending'
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"Shrimpy~, wake up!"
"Floyd, I'd wish for you to please not bother the prefect."
"Eh~, but they're cryin' in their sleep."
"What?" Jade and Azul say in sync.
"Floyd! What did you do?!"
"Wha~t? Me? I didn't do anythin'!"
"Don't blame me, blame Jade!"
"I don't see why I should be blamed, Floyd."
"I bet you made Shrimpy cry with your weird mushrooms!"
"I don't see any reason for my sweet innocent mushrooms to be dragged into this conversation" Jade says, giving his signature customer service smile.
Grumbles and mischevious laughter fill the room.
"All right, stop it, both of you. You'll wake the prefect up if you continue this childish banter."
"Aha ha! It looks like your warning came off late, Azul~"
"Welcome to the world, Shrimpy!"
"Ahem..I believe it was, "Welcome back to the land of the living," Floyd" Jade snickers.
Floyd ignores Jade and opts to engulf you in a hug instead.
You feel him squeeze tighter and tighter until you can barely breathe.
"F-Floyd- a-ir"
Azul gives Jade a pointed look, signaling him to stop Floyd in his assault lest you go back to being knocked out.
After catching your breath, you look around the room you're currently in.
You were in the lounge VIP room.
"Ahem, um, what am I doing here?"
"Hm? Do you not remember?" Azul turns to you
"No, I don't think so.?"
Floyd was about to say something when suddenly Azul stopped him from saying anything further.
"Jade"
"Yes sir"
With that simple exchange, Jade drags Floyd out of the room.
'Weird..'
"Since it seems that you've forgotten, allow me to refresh your memory."
"You see, you came here to have lunch, but then suddenly you fainted! We were so worried that we decided to graciously let you rest in here until you woke up."
"I see.." 'I guess that explains why my head is sore..Although it feels more like I got hit rather than some sort of mental pain..'
You decide to trust Azul this time
"Anyways, feel free to rest some more or leave if you feel like you can move without any problems."
"Right, well then, thank you for taking care of me." You begin to stand up, only to almost fall down.
It seems that your leg fell asleep.
You chuckle awkwardly. "Or... maybe staying a bit won't hurt."
"I..Please stay as long as you find necessary." Azul pretends to have seen nothing.
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After resting for a bit, you exit the room and walk around the place.
Noticing a glint in the corner, you turn your body towards the source.
You come face-to-face with a room full of aquariums.
No, can you even call it that? The room was so majestic, it almost felt as if you were in the ocean itself.
It felt.. relieving, serene, and healing.
Suddenly, you were engulfed in a hug.
You tried to turn your head, but the person ensured that you wouldn't be able to see them, even hiding their face in the crook of your neck.
But hidden or not, you could easily tell it was Floyd. Due to the number of times he'd hugged you, you learned to recognize it right away when it was him who hugged you.
"Who made you cry?" His voice, barely above a whisper, was laced with concern, sadness, and anger.
"Cry? What do you mean, Floyd?"
You received no reply.
Just as you were about to speak up, your eyes got covered by someone's hands.
Naturally, you started to panic, but then a gentle voice spoke, "Don't keep everything inside. It's alright to cry." You recognized the voice to be Jades.
The tightness around your chest, your vision blocked, only able to rely on your sense of hearing
It would make one panic.
It felt suffocating, but.. for once in your life, this tightness, this darkness you feel around you, felt warm, comforting, welcoming, and protecting.
Footsteps..
You hear footsteps make their way towards you.
You can hear them stop in front of you.
"Yuu, don't be afraid. It's alright, you can let it all out."
"We'll be here supporting you."
It was Azul; he tries to sound confident and maintain his usual composure, but you can easily tell by his tone of voice that he feels awkward saying this.
Suddenly, you feel a sort of gust of wind, and next thing you know, the solid floor you had been standing on is gone.
You panic once again and try to speak up, but a finger, presumably Azuls, shushes you.
The tweels let go of their hold on you. You opened your eyes, and in front of you was complete darkness.
"Jade? Azul? Floyd? Where are you?"
You turn but something feels off.
The pressure you feel makes it feel like you're underwater.
All of a sudden, a light enters your field of vision.
Two blobs? 
You notice the two glowing things getting closer to you.
Hurriedly, you try to swim away as fast as you can, but something else keeps you in place.
Something slippery, like tentacles, held you in place.
You close your eyes, accepting your fate, but after a few beats of nothing happening, you open your eyes to see once again, only this time you could actually see something and not just darkness.
In front of you were the tweels, with one of them barely being able to contain his laugh, and the tentacles that held you in place belonged to none other than Azul Ashengrotto himself.
Upon noticing your gaze, the octopus man, as if acting on instinct, slaps your face in the other direction.
You stare dumbfoundedly.
"Ah, ahem..I sincerely apologize for.. slapping you, Prefect."
Floyd, no longer able to contain his laughter, bursts out laughing, "Pfft- Aha ha! Shrimpy looked so scared, and Tako-chan accidentally..Pfft"
Azul gave Floyd a pointed glare. "Hmph, and here I thought you'd dropped that Tako-chan ages ago" he mumbled.
"Fufu~ As entertaining as this is, I'm afraid you guys just traumatized the prefect."
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After giving all the explanations (Especially how you're able to breathe underwater and not die from the water pressure..) and needed sorry's, they officially started the so-called "Give the Prefect a relaxing day." mission.
The name really didn't match any of the events that happened today, but.. you can't do anything about what's already happened, sadly.
And so, the rest of the day consisted of them dragging you around the ocean and showing you things they thought you'd like.
Visiting the city and just having fun.
"Azul, Jade, Floyd! Look! It's ice cream! Underwater!! This has to be magical ice cream!"
The octotrio watched as you admired the ice cream you had in your hand. It was like watching a child see ice cream for the first time.
Seeing the smile on your face, the trio deemed the mission accomplished.
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Tired, you and the trio decided to rest in a nearby, secluded spot.
"Thank you"
"Hm? Did you say something, Prefect?" Jade asks.
"Ah, no, it's nothing." You smile, silently thanking the trio once again.
After a while, you unknowingly fell asleep, and when you awoke, you were back at the Ramshackle dorm, safely tucked away in bed.
You figured that maybe what happened was just a dream.
Unbeknownst to you, however, while you were still asleep, the trio swore an oath to make sure you were protected and would never be hurt again. Be it physical or mentally
The scars on your arms felt different this time around. As if someone had kissed it so lovingly and thanked you for being still alive that you were still here in the world, but, oh well, it's probably just your mind making things up, right?
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.ೃ࿐Reblogs are highly appreciated! ^^
I'm so sorry for this abominationnnn. I lost all the vision I had by the time the trio appeared, and when I regained it, it was already too late, as I had already written a lot. And the ending is so rushed too T-T
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veintrry · 2 years
Text
what are we?
wanderer x gn!reader, could be a modern au, angst & fluff, he's scared of trusting his 'heart'.
an: i had a dream he asked this (he asked more but I couldn't remember) and it was like a twitter back and fourth😭
ac: @/syea-say on tmblr | @/syea_say on twt & ig
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"What kind of relationship do we have?"
The question came abruptly, bringing the silence to an end. You noticed beforehand that it seemed like something was on his mind, he appeared to be elsewhere in his mind, pondering deeply. Is this what that was about?
He doesn't wait for you to answer, not yet, he continues,
"Love always ends in disappointment." He turns to face you properly, a stoic look in his eyes, his lips pressed into a line. "You're a mortal too, so what's the point of pursing something like this when it'll come to an end anyways?"
He was right to say that. I mean, you are a mortal, you have an expiration date, so does everyone, but to you and the majority of others it's normal, because it's something you learn to live with an accept.
"Everything ends at some point, you know there's not much to be done about that. We can only make good of what we have now."
"That's such a boring answer." He scrutinises you, his brows furrowing. "You know that's not what I want to hear."
You stare back at him, quiet as you think of what to say. You could easily just tell him that you won't leave him, that you'll never allow that to happen. But you can't make such a huge promise, if you break it, it would feel like a lie. You don't want to lie to him, but you don't want to disappoint him.
"There is no real point." You turn your head to look elsewhere, opting to view the scenery than see his face scrunch up. You didn't want whatever reaction he had to offer you, not when you weren't sure if the reception would be good.
"Do you think I do things because they'll last?" You crouch down to the plants nearby, touching their tips with your finger. "Nothing lasts. Everything ends." Life was no different than a leaf, but what defined it was not the tree that beared it nor it's kind but rather how far it travelled, how big it's world was. "But if I just did nothing my entire life and waited for that end to come it would've been no different from the beginning."
"What the hell are you trying to say?" The wanderer crosses his arms. He doesn't want anything complicated right now, each answer that isn't what he wants to hear sounds more like the opposite; Like you don't want to be here, with him.
Turning your head up at him, he was starting to bother you with his unspoken persistence for you to just say what he wanted you to and you began speaking directly, "I'm saying that the only reason life is considered to have an end is based on if you actually do something during it." You stayed quiet for a bit before letting out a heavy breath after some contemplation. "I don't want to do nothing." It didn't matter how many years passed, how old you are or how weak you are. If you still have time then you might as well live in it.
"Kuni, you might have existed a long time but have you properly lived? You act so humane and yet you deny any internal ties to humanity. Isn't it more like you're using my mortality as an excuse to forbid yourself from acknowledging your own denials?"
That, that was most definitely the last thing he wanted to hear. You having said you can't be here with him would have been bad, but somehow this was worse because he had his reality forced infront of him. It was humiliating in a way, to be exposed when you were always bare. You can see his face growing frustrated, he seemed as though he was trying to bite his tongue but you might've struck a nerve. "An excuse?" A degrading laugh erupted from his throat, "Are you serious? Why would I need an excuse? I don't need to be human in the first place, this has nothing to do with that. You're the one making up things and avoiding giving me an answer."
You were on the brink of leading to an argument and even you couldnt keep your head cool. You stand up in defense as you shoot back. "I'm not avoiding anything. I'll stay with you for as long as my lifespan allows it, but I cannot and will not tell you that I will stay forever."
There was an aching silence that followed. As though this was concrete, like this was just shattering. You didn't know what it was breaking, you didn't know if it was your relationship or him, but you had to try and fix it before it worsens.
"Kuni, I love you, I want you to be happy, not just now but onwards as well." Your gaze falls onto his hands. You want to reach out, but you cant bring yourself to out of fear he'd deny you. You know he might want you to, as a sign of.. anything, but you can't. "I don't want you to rely on me, I want you to be capable of accepting yourself and finding comfort within who you are."
"Well then, ...Who am I?" The wanderers head stays stuck to the ground as if if he keeps his sights on it it would open up and just, do something, swallow him, let him forget this, forget everything, Bury him deep in the dirt and have the roots of all life suffocate him. "What?"
"You said within who I am, so, who am I?"
You didn’t want to do this a second time, "Kuni-"
"Please," He pauses, releasing a shaky breath from the confines of his chest. "just answer."
"You're who you say you are. I won't define you."
He latches onto your wrist, pulling you to him, underneath his hat as his head beckons upwards and you finally get to see his face rid of that anger. Instead, it is replaced with a pleading look, almost desperate. "I want you to,"
"I need you to do it. I don't know how else I am meant to do it. I don't know who I am. I wasn't meant to have an identity, I'm not like you, I'm not a human." In a way, admitting that was a painful thing. No matter how alike to humans he was, he wasn't one. "You were made, I was built. You breathe the moment you are born, I taught myself to." The more he spoke you felt like he was trying to implement this difference into your mind, that if you couldn't promise him forever you should be irked by him.
"We are different, but you are still a person to me. Do you think that I've ever seen you as anything else? Do you think I want to leave you alone? I care for you, I do so much that it kills me. And I hate how if you asked something of me I'd give it to you so easily, but not this. I won't lie to you." It would've been an odd thing for you to say, but to you, the wanderer made you feel alive, it made all the previous events of your life pale in comparison, and you truly, felt alive. You don't know why but with this emotion came care and you want to continue to value him, to love him, even when you've passed.
"Our relationship doesn't matter, you just need to know that I love you." You yank his wrist and pull him into you as your other arm slips under his and around his back, holding him tightly as you rest your head in the coup of his neck. "I love you, Kuni. I love you, I love you, I love you." And with each time you repeated it you lifted your head to his neck, planting small kisses, hoping he can feel it, what you do.
The wanderer merely stood there, paralysed. He still wants the unreal fantasy of eternity. But, he finds himself caving to the warmth of what you were offering despite how bittersweet it. It was fulfilling despite the fact it reflects the temporary time you two had, but he no longer found his mind wandering off to then, to when you'd slip away from him. He could feel you. Hands slither to your back, pulling you deeper into him, so deep till there was no space between you two but he still wanted more. He wanted to be with you, just as one, to know all of you. And he was worried he wouldn't have enough time for that. But just for now, for this moment, he wants to listen to your voice, to feel your body temperature, and rest.
He simply leans in, and kisses your forehead, before tilting his head onto yours. This is fine, this is okay. He can live with this, for as long as he can have it.
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nogenderbee · 1 year
Note
Hi! If you still take request, can you please write yandere alphabet with bachira and isagi? The letters are A, H, and N
Thanks!!❤️
Hello! They still were when you ordered so yes, of course! I hope you like it!
Help, I feel like this turned out cringey...
Isagi, Bachira A, H, N yandere alphabet
TW: unhealthy obsession, abuse, manipulation, threats, all the yandere stuff in short
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⊱ Abuse = Could they ever hurt you physically or mentally? What would be the reason?
Isagi would never hit you. He may raise his hand or so to scare you a bit and yell at you but he'd never actually hurt you physically.
Mentally tho... he totally would. Threats may even be on daily basis with him if you like going against him or pissing him off for whatever reason.
Mental abuse isn't as often either tho... it usually happens when you've been avoiding him for more than a week or have been way too close with male friend of yours even tho he told you to abandon ant contact with them. Those are usually the causes of him being a bit more aggressive.
"You need to stay right here. I swear if you won't, I'll make sure your family won't wake up tomorrow, is that clear?"
⊱ Hide = How easy is it to hide from them?
It's kinda east to hide from Isagi, really. All you need to do is fine big crowd and move through as many people as possible untill he eventually lists sigh of you. But that might not necessarily work if you're tall or have flashy look... so just be aware that this might be harder like that.
In dark alleys or less crowded places tho, he won't hesitate to run after you. So let's just pray that you're faster than him and will actually have chances of escaping and hiding from him again.
"Y/N don't run! I have your favorite sweets! We can have a date you always dreamed of!!"
⊱ Non stop = How clingy they'll be when you're in relationship? How possessive are they? And how much free space do they give you?
Isagi is really more clingy than possessive. Of course, he wants you by his side basically all the time and it has to do with both, clinginess and possessiveness, but first option to is more likely with him.
He'll always hold you hand when you're walking together and huh you normally or from behind whenever you're just standing or sitting next to each other. He likes to show everyone that you're his in that way.
As for freedom... you don't really get much of it. He likes to have you by his side ALL THE TIME! So there's no way for you to have some space... you can get privacy by him being next to you but not staring at your phone or whatever you're doing. He wants to be close but won't intervee this much.
"C'mon, I need to show everyone that you're taken by me so no one dares to make a move on you!"
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⊱ Abuse = Could they ever hurt you physically or mentally? What would be the reason?
Bachira tried to be nice and funny towards you but manipulation was on his side the moment he started feeling more intense love for you. So it was just the matter of time when this manipulation turns into abuse.
Surprisingly tho, he doesn't do physical abuse other than throwing mean comment when you're doing something he doesn't approve of. But if he has enough, he'll just slap you to let you know you really messed up. He doesn't do it in front of big crowd tho, in front of small group of people that don't even know you... sure he may. And abuse of this kind is usually caused by emotions and he'll either regret it later or think that it was the only right option.
"Don't look at me like that. If you wouldn't go there, it would never happen. Now you know to take my words seriously."
⊱ Hide = How easy is it to hide from them?
It's actually kinda hard to hide from Bachira. It's as if he has some kind of 6th sense for that! But in reality he's just acting so natural that it's hard to detect him.
If you're hiding in the crowd, you won't see hint of him being behind or in front of you. You can only realize he saw you when he catches your wrist with small "gotch you!", and that smile of his only tells you in what kind of problems you just got yourself into...
If you're hiding in silent corners, dark alleys, he'll have a bit bigger problem... like said preciously, it's crowd that usually helps him out. But in situations like these, he mostly doesn't care and will follow you quickly while calling after you. He won't run unless you do or will turn out that your walking speed is a bit faster than his.
"Y/N~ no need to run from me. C'mon, we can have so much together!"
⊱ Non stop = How clingy they'll be when you're in relationship? How possessive are they? And how much free space do they give you?
Bachira will be clingy but not extremely... he just expects that you'll hold hands everywhere in public and cuddle or kiss anytime he asks, he it in private or in public.
He is more of a possessive type tho... he gets easily jealous and won't really hesitate to make it known when someone makes him feel this way. But in the end, it's still you who'll get the lecture of how you should "only keep your eyes on him".
So in short, he gives you freedom but at the same time he controls that freedoms, if that makes sense... you can do whatever you want but you can't do anything against his will, that comes with mostly being lovey dovey or even simply interacting with others.
"How are you doing today? Have you met or talked with anyone? I hope not... you have me right here after all!"
❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉
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actual-changeling · 7 months
Text
ahhhhh fuck it. sure. back to normal meta posting.
do not copy or otherwise repost any of my writing without express permission, including (but not limited to) any and all blogs that are dedicated to harassing people based on their opinions.
a south downs ending does not equal a fairy tale ending/happily ever after.
regardless of how you personally characterize crowley and aziraphale and interpret their actions, ignoring the emotional impact of pretty much the entirety of season two would be a disservice to neil (and terry) as a storyteller.
aziraphale not just broke crowley's trust, he repeatedly chose to side with heaven and "morality" over him—crowley has always been the second choice, otherwise aziraphale would have fallen long ago. he would not fall for crowley because so far he has not fallen, he turned away from crowley every single time it came down to either falling or continuing to hold his position as an angel.
meanwhile crowley fell from both heaven's and hell's graces long before he fell in love with aziraphale; it has never been a choice for him because he decided on who he wants to be and how he wants to live once he found out about the 6000 year deadline on the universe.
crowley fell for what is right, for what is decent and kind regardless of the consequences he'll have to face afterwards.
aziraphale has not fallen simply to keep his personal comfort intact and stuck to the selfish ideology centring whatever is the most convenient option in a given situation, and no matter how you twists and turn it, that's at the heart of it—because, again, otherwise he would already have fallen.
so when neil resolves their conflicts—because i trust that he will do it in a way that's satisfactory for everyone involved, including us as the audience—those centuries predating season three don't just magically disappear.
crowley will hopefully have learned to live for himself and not anyone else, which allows him to choose what kind of relationship he wants to have with aziraphale. they might move into their cottage with their relationship still healing and the end result open. content and together, sure, but crowley is under no obligation to forgive aziraphale for any of the shit that he put him through. there's a degree of intimacy and trust they'll never get back; it sucks, it's sad, but it is what it is.
meanwhile aziraphale will have to face that he fucked up, openly acknowledge how he's hurt crowley and others, and apologize without expecting forgiveness; he might get it, he might not, but he needs to keep growing/learning/changing no matter what.
think about the ending of season one—they're dining at the ritz, content and happily enjoying each other's presence, but outside of that we are not given more information. i can see exactly that happening at the end of season three, a satisfactory ending that also simultaneously allows us to decide for ourselves what happens once we leave them.
if there is a single thing i am certain of it's that we will not get a fairy tale ending, no happily ever after, and if that's what you're expecting going into it, then you will probably be disappointed.
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doberbutts · 1 year
Note
I think it's also wild the way people assume the stealth experience is roses and butterflies. I went stealth+DL about being gay for about 2 years at work in order to be able to work in a trade where people generally skew extremely homophobic/transphobic/misogynistic. I had been on T long enough to pass reliably so I thought, ok, cool, this is where my life as a Normal Guy kicks in, this is where I get to flex the old Male Privilege and work in an industry culture that is toxic to everyone but cishet men.
and I mean yeah, materially? I did okay in my profession, I was good at what I did. People were pretty chill to me because my only major flaw to them was being the New Kid, a problem that eased with time. I did have a female coworker who I learned dealt with some hazing that I didn't. I will say, in that particular situation, I had some privilege over her since my sexist coworkers never said anything to me the way they said shit to her.
but here's the thing - I still heard all of it. The gross misogynistic things they were saying were not meant to be about me, but they sure as hell were anyway.
but oh, boo hoo, I had to hear remarks, but you know, I didn't face any actual barriers or opposition right? yeah, okay, I guess not, and I'm not saying it would have been better to be out in this scenario, or to be a woman, but there's a reason I ended up leaving that field. walking into work and feeling like - no, knowing - you have to lie to all your coworkers and your boss every single day or else they'll hate you and treat you like shit is not a great feeling. you never have a truly good day when that is always at the back of your mind no matter what. you never develop genuine friendships or connections at work if they're all built on lies.
I ended up getting so burned out. it was a good job, a union job, and I was making a good income. I had a path upwards to make *great* income if I had stuck with it long-term. but I ended up leaving it for a non-union job at a younger company, with a more "hip" HR culture that seemed like maybe I would be in a better place emotionally. I took a pay cut to do that too. but a lot of my new coworkers had the same attitudes as my old ones - the first week I was there, one of the other employees went around the shop asking each person, "if Kylie Jenner was trans, as in, used to be a man, would you still fuck her?" and most people, including the fucking foreman, said "fuck no." I ended up saying something like "it makes no difference to me, sure, fine, she's not my type anyway" (having to not reveal I was trans and also not reveal that I prefer men), and right in that moment I realized this wouldn't be a place I could be open either, and it would feel the same as the old place.
so the burnout for that job came much quicker. I quit after only a couple of months. I did actually end up telling the HR manager why, given that this company actually had one, but she was the only person at the job who ever knew I was trans (since she saw it on my background check anyway).
so yeah like, being stealth at work? it's not a privilege. it's a defense mechanism, and it feels like shit. you feel every transphobic and misogynistic barb even if it's not meant for you. one could argue that I would have never even been able to get those jobs if I were out, and yeah, maybe, that's possible, but I had female coworkers at both places. And yeah, one could also argue that, in terms of pay, I was likely doing better than my female coworkers. And you might be right about that if I hadn't gotten burnt out and quit before having a chance to build up any kind of seniority. But instead I took pay cut after pay cut until I finally decided to put my life in full reverse and go back to college - where I had struggled severely due to mental illness, and still do - since trades were clearly not the place for me.
I'm just really sick of people who have never actually lived what it's like to have that "male privilege" of being a stealth trans man deciding it's just the great, most ideal way you can exist as a trans person. I'm sure there are some stealth trans men who were able to adapt to that environment that I wasn't. but at what fucking cost?
I have a friend who worked a military job training the bomb dogs. He is 100% stealth to the point where even people who know, who have seen him naked and even had sex with him, often forget that he's transgender and why he has that barrier of access to some things if he wants to remain stealth.
The type of shit that people would just. Say to him. And he was always having to balance saying something or keeping quiet so as not to draw too much attention to his status as transgender. He was provided room and board by his job and thus lived with 5-6 similarly aged cis men in the same house and the amount of dodging them and biting his tongue he had to do to just to survive... And the job wouldn't be chill if they found out, the talk he'd heard made it very clear that he was at all times operating with a noose around his neck ready to tighten at the very first infraction.
Anyway that's what passing privilege is. Is your life somewhat better because you pass well enough that no one questions you? I mean I guess technically. But what happens in the mean time to your mental health? Having to hide large aspects of yourself and constantly worrying and looking over your shoulder to make sure no one is looking too hard at your hips or your hands or your chest. My friend is post-op. He's "done", so to speak, outside of taking testosterone. And yet this was still something he had to keep in mind.
He ended up leaving that job due to some Stupid Workplace Bullshit unrelated to his gender status but he told me that honestly it was also a huge sigh of relief. The money he got was great but it was corroding his soul to stay. He ended up taking a pay cut and working elsewhere that he is still stealth but no longer feels like he's got an axe to his neck in every interaction.
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stevethehairington · 2 years
Text
Things are not looking good.
Eddie's never been much of an optimist — never been much of a pessimist either, to be fair — but this is more a matter of realism anyways. And there's no sun shining down on him today. No rainbow in the dark. No silver linings.
He's going to die.
He can feel it. His consciousness slipping. His vision going spotty, getting blurrier and blurrier. He can feel the blood — so much blood — too. Hot and wet and way more of it than there should be outside of his body. It's slick down his sides, slick through his fingers, slick across his cheek and over his lips. The tangy iron is strong in his nostrils and down the back of his throat — it makes him feel sick, but there isn't anything he can do about it.
It goes dark, and Eddie thinks this is it but then there's something sharp against his cheek, a stingling staccato as something smacks against his skin.
His head lolls, but his eyes flutter open, and there's Dustin. Dustin. His little sheepie. His brother in arms. His friend.
"Dustin," he says, but it's slurred, heavy on his tongue. It takes real effort to push the sounds out.
"Eddie, Eddie, come on man, come on, keep your eyes open! You're— you're here, I'm here, you're gonna be fine, you're gonna be okay, just keep your eyes open, keep your damn eyes open!" It's frantic, high pitched and hysterical. It does nothing to reassure Eddie that he's going to be fine (he knows he's not), but it's a lifeline for Dustin, who out of any of them is the optimist, and that makes Eddie want to smile.
He tries to, but he thinks it comes out as more of a grimace, and it can't be too reassuring, with all the blood in his mouth — coating this teeth, dribbling down his lips, the side of his cheek.
Dustin's red, tear stained, snotty face grows fuzzy in front of him, and the little spots of black that have been lining the edge of his vision start to grow. Eddie's eyelids feel heavier and heavier, and he can't remember why he was supposed to keep them open anymore.
So he stops fighting it.
The last thing he hears is a loud, panicked, "Woah, hey!"
Everything is black for a moment, but then Eddie sees his uncle.
He sees Wayne, and it's that last day again. The last time they'll see each other.
Eddie's late, so so late, and normally he wouldn't give a damn, but he's got a test this morning, first period, and Miss O'Donnell is notorious for having the test papers on their desks before they even come in so that they can start the second the bell rings. Eddie needs every god damn second for this test, his high school career is counting on it. But, of course, he's running late.
He barely had time to stuff his feet in his shoes, and he probably definitely should have skipped the toast, but Wayne is always getting on him about breakfast being the most important meal of the day and feeding his brain, 'specially before a big test, and all that bullshit, so Eddie took the time to listen.
The toast pops and Eddie definitely doesn't have time to butter it, so he just shoves it between his teeth, snags his backpack, and hurries for the door.
Hurricane Eddie sends the door flying, and nearly crashes straight into Wayne, who must've just been getting home from work.
"Woah, hey," Wayne says, holding out a hand and catching him on the shoulder to steady him.
But Eddie doesn't have time for this. He barely even spares Wayne a second glance as he ducks out of his grasp and squeezes past him, grumbling out some half hearted sound that doesn't even qualify as a proper greeting around the toast.
He's down the steps and at his van in second, and he doesn't look back as he peels out of Forest Hills.
That was the last time he'd seen his uncle. That was the last time they'd ever spoken. Except, Eddie barely did either of those two things. He doesn't know what color Wayne's flannel was. He doesn't remember if Wayne was wearing one of his hats. He can't even recall if Wayne said anything else to him but "woah, hey". He thinks he might have, but Eddie hadn't been listening. Not that time.
He'd been in a hurry. Figured he'd have plenty of time to ask Wayne about his day when he got home later. That he'd get the chance to (hopefully) give him the good news, that his test went well. He thought he would be able to thank Wayne for his help. To tell Wayne that he loves him.
He never got to tell Wayne he loves him.
Eddie's heart kicks weakly in his chest, slower and slower as the seconds tick by, but it's enough. With all of the strength left in him, he opens his eyes.
He tells Dustin that he loves him.
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amberbeach · 1 year
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'ONE IN A MILLION'
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gif belongs to me
"And front kick! Flip! Double kick!"
You sighed as you lowered your arms, looking at the Blue Ranger, resting your hands on your hips. Theo turned to you when he realized you were no longer following his instructions to help you train.
"What's wrong?"
"We're in the middle of nowhere." You stated. "Honey, I love you, but when I pictured our time together - our limited time together - I hadn't imagined this."
Theo raised an eyebrow, "I have roommates."
"I can be quiet." You dragged an invisible zip across your lips and he tilted his head, chuckling at your expression.
"What? I could! Besides they'll be working in the parlour anyway."
Theo shook his head, "We've already started we might as well finish the -"
You expertly showcased the move and Theo's eyebrows raised. You ran a hand through your hair, keeping it away from your eyes as you sent the Blue Ranger a smirk. Theo knew what to expect from that smirk.
"We're in the middle of nowhere..."
He shook his head, chuckling, "At least I managed to teach you something - mm -" He was cut off when you kissed him, grasping his collar, pulling him closer.
After a few minutes, you pulled away to catch your breath, running your hands down his chest.
"You never keep quiet." He stated matter of factly, and you pushed his chest, a giggle leaving your lips. Theo countered, pulling you back into his embrace before you could step too far out of his reach and you sucked in a breath when his lips grazed yours. He combed the fallen strands from your ponytail behind your ear, whispering, "I've missed you."
"I know." You replied, earning a raised eyebrow. "What? I know I'm adorable."
Theo chuckled, placing a hand on your cheek, as he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, deepening the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
From the second you arrived at Jungle Karma, you both knew your time together was limited. You were needed at the academy, pushed to earn your mark, and your visit was fleeting. So you savored every second, enthralled with each other which reminded Lily of the simpler days back at the Academy.
His jaguar spirit was a match for your puma spirit, which challenged each other. It showed during classes, and when you arrived Lily explained to Casey, the complex relationship between you and Theo - as you each tried to compete against each other until one day she was sure you would have kissed during a sparring session in front of the entire class. Your chemistry was unmatched, and whenever she felt Theo becoming more single-minded, she contacted you, and he would receive a letter from you, reminding him that he was not fighting alone against Dai Shi She was certain you were the only reason he kept fighting, adapting, growing, to protect you from the warrior that was Dai Shi.
Theo was frustrated when you first arrived at the academy. You had lived most of your life purely through your animal spirit and when Master Mao found you he wanted to help you advance your skills, whilst living a normal life. Theo was jealous at first, as he quickly realized you were more in tune with your animal spirit than your predecessors, and you gained his envy. A truce was formed between you during class when you sparred and you were impressed by his discipline, and he was stunned by your ability to hone your animal spirit.
Now here you were, years later, still competitive but in a healthier light, proud of each other's achievements. Theo learned there was so much to learn from you, as you gained much knowledge from him. When he became the Blue Ranger, you weren't surprised and bid goodbye, parting with a necklace that referenced eternity.
Theo still wore the necklace that held a deep meaning. Your love was never-ending. He carried you with him every second of the day and you were always his first and last thought of the day, as he was yours.
Theo looked around the tree line before looking at you. "We better not get caught."
Your smirk grew, wanting to remind him of the time he spent in your quarters, sneaking off in the early hours of the morning to his own room, avoiding suspicion by the Masters when they called upon students to do a roll call.
However, you kept quiet, knowing Theo didn't need reminding of the one time Master Mao caught you leaving his room, mistaking his shirt for your own, and sentencing you both to cleaning duties for a month. Even if you argued he looked amused at the time.
The memory made you smile and Theo broke the kiss, looking down at you as you lay on the grass. "What?"
"I'll tell you later."
He shook his head, kissing you with a passion that caused you to forget everything else, as he intended, wanting to be the only thing you focused on. Your animal spirits were competitive by nature but Theo had long ago given up fighting, smirking as your Puma spirit submitted to his Jaguar spirit, his hands pinning your wrists above your head on the grass.
"Should I be concerned?" He murmured, lips grazing your ear.
"No." You whispered, "Reliving memories that's all."
He smirked down at you, an eyebrow raised as he quickly deduced which memories you were reliving. It had caused him great embarrassment in the past, but now he found the humour in it.
"You were always my greatest temptation."
You grinned, "Really?"
His kiss answered all your questions and erased all your doubts. Even after months apart, your love burned as strong as ever. And you knew as you laid your head on his chest in the wood, that it would always be this way. Your love was one in a million.
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mmmmm000001tr · 2 years
Text
My thoughts on omori secret/true ending. and all points of forgiveness.
Sunny's main strength in telling the truth is he believes his friends will forgive him and basil. he have to trust them because his biggest fear is they would hate him and not forgive him. After Sunny faints after his fight with Basil, Basil says:
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İ also thinks this is Basil's spirit/thoughts. Because “My thoughts will follow you into your dreams”. İ think we see first time normal Basil here.
later, Sunny takes his broken violin. The violin was a gift from his friends. It represents the bond between them. He broke this bond by breaking the violin. He is repairing the violin by remembering his memories with his friends in memory lane. Sunny will use the violin in BACK STAGE and omori fight.
Oh don't forget to seashell necklace. You can use seashell necklace in omori fight too
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"to help you remember your friends" Remembering his friends make him stronger
and at BACK STAGE his friends say they will always be best friends with him. Hero says that Sunny has to trust his friends, that he has lived with this pain for a very long time, that he will be there for him because he wants to and they will cheering him in omori fight. Aubrey emphasize their friendship by saying that Sunny always has time for her and she can always count on him for that. Kel says they missed each other over the years but it doesn't have to be like that anymore, people always call him careless but he will always be there for Sunny, doing something bad doesn't make you a bad person and they will always be best friends.
AUBREY:
"You know... before we met.I had a lot of trouble fitting in...
Even after we all became friends... I always assumed you were going to leave me eventually.
But... when the others were busy doing things.... you always seemed to have time for me.
You would listen to me talk for hours and
hours... I could always rely on you to do that."
Kel: "People always tell me that I'm dense or that I'm kinda careless... but I'll always be here if you're okay with that! Just because you've done something bad... doesn't make you bad. And... We really hope that this isn't goodbye. You can do this, SUNNY! I promise to stick with you until the very end! Yeah... I think we'll always be best friends. That's okay with you too, right?"
Hero: "SUNNY... We know that you're not someone who likes to take the lead. This has been really hard for you. But... you have to put a little bit of trust in us, too.(for forgive) You've had to live with this pain for so long... and you've been keeping it all inside. It might be easier to ignore your problems, but it's okay to cry about them too. There's more good times to come. Life gets better... and you can be the one to make that happen. But we're here for you because you want us to be. Keep us in your thoughts. We'll be cheering you on."
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All speechs
In the omori fight, omori says that his friends will hate him, they will abandon him and he will never gain their trust again for hurting them. This is Sunny's fear
OMORI: "Your friends will never forgive you. They'll abandon you like you did to them... and that's what you deserve.
You're nothing but a liar... and when they see the truth... They'll hate you as much as you hate yourself.
If they know the truth, you'll never be able to regain their trust. No matter what you do, it will be hopeless. All you'll do is make things worse."
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But Sunny can keep fighting with remember these words from his friends.
KEL: "Friends... Friends are supposed to be there for each other. "
AUBEY: "I hope you can find some peace... or you know... some happiness."
HERO: "We made the mistake of leaving each other when we needed each other the most. This time... we'll stay together."
BASIL: "Maybe one day... things can go back to the way they were before."
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His friends support is necessary for continue to fight. The hope that his friends won't abandon him and that everything will be as before keeps him fighting against omori. and Sunny beats omori by playing the last duet with Mari and remembering all the memories with his friends and that's how Omori found out he was wrong with Sunny's friends
Sunny dreamed of going on adventures with his friends for 4 years and hanged out in real life unknown years . They are so important for him. Now he will don't care them?
looking at all this. How could Sunny, who wasn't very good at smiling, smile like that at the secret ending? Because he betrayed his friends ? Because he destroy the friend group again before leaving? Because he leave Basil alone with the consequences? would Sunny smile if that was the case? Sunny could smile like that if he see his friends like that before he moving? But Sunny's motivation is obvious right?
Also Sunny told the truth, knowing Basil's wish, fear of being alone, and that himself moving soon. And Basil smile back Sunny. what is does that mean? i think answer is obvious
OMOCAT says in this tweet what omori is about.
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>After OMORI, I understand why I love MOTHER a bit better now. For me, MOTHER is a story about hope. It's about finding the willpower to do something impossible, overcoming grief and pain, and the unwavering strength of friendship. Perhaps the genres of the games are different, but OMORI is about that too.
- story about hope. It's about finding the willpower to do something impossible, overcoming grief and pain, and the unwavering strength of friendship. -
if OMORI is about these. it would be nonsense doesn't get to these conclusions right?
this shows that Sunny and Basil are forgiven and they are still together.
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İt's not open ended!
---
İ think its showed enough reason for why friends Understand and forgive Basil and Sunny .
Sunny hasn't been out for 4 years, was malnourished, his father left him, and he lost an eye. Hero knows sunny hates being alone "So where should we sleep, SUNNY? Probably somewhere in your room, right? I remember you used to hate sleeping alone."
Also, while playing hide and seek at the beginning of the game, his friends say that he doesn't like to be alone and they worry about him. So probably they know as well
they promised to be there for each other no matter what.
KEL: Friends... Friends are supposed to be there for each other.
HERO: We made the mistake of leaving each other when we needed each other the most. This time... we'll stay together.
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it's impossible to didn't see Sunny's pain and regret. he was malnourished, did not go out for 4 years and now he lost his eye. Friends knew Mari loved him.
AUBREY:I'll never forget that moment that she carried you out of the lake. And when you finally opened your eyes, she fell on top of you and burst into tears. ... I had never seen her that way before...
HERO: MARI really loved you, Sunny. You know that, don't you?
and they know Sunny loved mari too.
They have to know Sunny is good person. they must have seen it with the flowers around his hospital bed. He helped the whole town. (I take universally loved achievement as canon). They have to knowing that such a person would not knowingly want to do something bad and would regret it if he did. especially to his friends. Especially to his sister. (Sunny didn't even push Mari strong enough to cause fall Mari have a bad knee and there's broken violin on the floor) And if Sunny cries while confessing, Aubrey, kel and hero will definitely understand. They will understand his regret. They have to know things can go back to the way they were before. they were hanging out normally before telling the truth. why does this have to be ruined after saying? The entire point of the reality segment is to show you how the group is not doomed, how they can recover, and how they might in time be close the way they used to be. Arguing against that idea is pretty much confirming what Omori was telling Sunny in their fight.
Sunny and Basil also loved Mari. and suffered from what happened obviously. now they can all leave behind everything they've been through together. It's nonsense that friends get together just to break up again. It's nonsense that things go bad again when things getting better. I don't believe this is intented
Hero and Kel's fight is similar to Mari and Sunny's. this may help them better understand the situation accident
Sunny's thoughts of his friends
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They have to know very well what mari would want
Hero: But I knew her as a person who would always want all of us to be happy, even if it was without her.
Kel: Look at all of us back together again... MARI would be so happy for us!
Kel: But, yeah... it's true. I know we'll always be there for each other. Just like I know that MARI's still here with us too.
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Opinions from other people why they would forgive
Hero, the one who beats himself up for "failing" Mari and being unable to keep everyone together, gets a weight off his shoulders knowing Mari didn't commit suicide. And he promised that he'd keep the group together. Plus, he's studying to become a doctor and would be able to recontextualize all of Sunny's actions. People always act like Hero would hate him but that is so off base it's unreal. Hero would probably be the first to genuinely understand Sunny's mindset.
.
also my point of view on this. I feel like Hero would sympathize with Sunny because he also went through a hikikomori phase, one year to be exact ,but he still had family around him, he still had his brother and in the end that saved him from this sedentary state that he was in and he managed to recover. Now think about it, Sunny , who killed his sister the only one who has ever been shown to protect him, was stuck for 4 years in this cycle with no one to get him out. I think that Hero would actually be the first one to hug him...because he went through a similar experience and more than that, it is what Mari would have wanted, she would have wanted for them to be happy again.
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Aubrey would definitely be the one to really care about what happened to Sunny and Basil tbh. She legit knows what it's like to hurt someone you care about, and I feel like she'd be pretty much, like, not even forgiveness. Just comforting from the start.
.
It is also no accident that Aubrey pushing Basil into the lake and almost killing him (and Sunny) is juxtaposed with Sunny pushing Mari and killing her. The player is supposed to see Aubrey in this state, and understand (like the rest of the group does) that it was an accident. It could happen to anyone; someone’s life can be ended in a second. I think it’s unlikely that the group would break up and never speak to each other again. I also think it’s unfair and frankly naive to think that the only “realistic” end to this story is a sad one. That seems to suggest that people who have gone through trauma can never move on, and the point of the game is to suggest otherwise. 
hero and Kel understood Aubrey's situation and how she was feeling. Even hero said before talking to her.
Hero: "What? That was AUBREY back there?No way... She wouldn't do that to BASIL. I'm sure there was some kind of misunderstanding."
(yes, Kel was angry at Aubrey when she pushed Basil into the lake, but at that moment Kel thought Aubrey did it on purpose at that time. and all that talking she did before she push Basil to lake is effective to Kel think this way. Basil was not blocking her way and she was the one who yell at Basil and she bullied Basil every time she saw him. Of course he would mad at her at that time. He always tried to talk he but she all she do is cause trouble and this make Kel give up on her. later at Aubrey's house, After talking and putting photos to photo album with her, Kel understood Aubrey did not purposely pushed Basil into the lake and how she regret for that.) She have a bad home life, no father, catatonic mom , she felt abonded and now she regret what she did to Basil and other things. AUBREY: "Sniff... I don't...I don't deserve friends like you."
Also, Sunny was 12 years old. Aubrey is 16. and Sunny has been alone for 4 years while everyone goes to check on Aubrey 1 day after she pushed Basil. they have to understand Sunny's regret
Basil... Basil's grandma dead, he has no parents to be by his side since he was toddler, bullied for 4 years, almost died in lake, he did not lose his eye but he beaten up enough to go to the hospital. and maybe they know he attempt suicide (unintentionally. I know he is hallucinating). You would leave alone someone like this? Friends went to sleep over at Basil's house to see how is Basil was and not to leave him alone.and it would be nonsense if they just left him alone after that. especially in this situation. Basil also doesn't want to be alone again. His friends means everything for him. He connected his friends with flowers and took pictures of them. photo album is his most precious belonging. he can't handle loneliness again, and this time he's grandma is dead.
BASIL: I don't... want to be... alone... not again. You... can't... leave me... again...(to sunny. Before the fight)
so why he smile to Sunny in the end if he would lonely again? I think Basil's wish is happen. BASIL: Maybe one day... things can go back to the way they were before.
This is the only way that fit writing wise/story wise. I have a hard time believing that anyone would smile after losing 3/4 of their best friends after their biggest fear is being alone, hated by his friends and their dream is about trusting them. Yeah.. this is what intented
I want share this blog (use translate)
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aroaceacacia · 2 years
Text
ok but the 3 heart trio + zam conversation is actually REALLY INTERESTING.
narratively, they're both in very similar positions - they've cut ties with team awesome (aka mapicc and ro) and as a result, they're now poor. but they're foils, you see! because zam is alone; he used to think everyone hated him, now he just thinks hes friendless. his friends were ro and mapicc, and hes realized they're evil and that being with them made himself evil and that he doesnt like that. so he took a stand, got his ass kicked, and left.
but 3 heart trio, on the other hand, are - as zam pointed out - the longest-lasting team of the entire season. when 3 heart trio had to chose between TA or APO, they chose team awesome partially because the APO only wanted planet. no matter what theyve done, 3HT has always prioritized keeping all three of them together. not only is it just... not in their nature to want to turn on each other, from a more cynical standpoint, it would make zero strategic sense. planet, bacon, and jaron are three of the more... uh... down bad? Broke?? players on the server and tend to be chronically low on hearts. when you're in such a difficult position, it is much easier to escape and grind for materials if you have people helping you! and that's how 3HT has always operated - it's simply a given that they'll share with one another.
when they approach zam, hes wary! when they discuss trust, hes shocked at how comfortable they are talking to him - he says they shouldnt have trusted him (but they did), he says hes killed them over and over and personally wronged them (which he did). but they still offer an allyship: more substantial than a truce, but not an acceptance into the 3HT fold, either.
zam refuses because ultimately he cannot reconcile the wrongs hes done to them & the server with the simple and honest trust they offer him freely. "I'm evil," he insists, over and over, as he's reconstructing the ground at spawn and building new earth below their feet. "I haven't changed." "We can fix him But you admit that you're evil," Planet says in turn. "That's the first step to being better." Jaron makes a quip about a 12 step program. Bacon asks for advice, and encourages Planet to write down the scraps of offhanded wisdom Zam gives by mistake. They're genuinely interested in his story; when Zam explains how he's actually doing better than he looks, Planet likens it to a breakup with a shitty partner. Yeah, Zam might look like hell right now, but he's free.
They come to Zam immediately after all having died in "space" with no hope of regearing, each down from 3 hearts to 2 (and one of Bacon's is borrowed from Spepticle). Zam is at twelve. His sword has smite on it, but even that would have easily killed any of them. And yet, and yet, and yet, they climbed the mountain anyway, and went to speak to him.
3 Heart Trio are, like Mapicc and Roshambo, a tight-knit group, one that's so deeply intertwined with each members' identity on the server this season that it'd be near impossible to break them up. Like Mapicc and Roshambo, Zam will continue to be an outsider to that. But, even in just once conversation, 3HT were able to do something for Zam that TA couldn't do: Be Normal
or maybe, in the words of planetlord, it's just that "bro is using reverse psycologhy 💀". the world may never know
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butmakeitgayblog · 1 year
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In the AWTR honeymoon ask, you wrote that they make plans for things they'd like to do together in the future even though they both know they will never get that. What kinds of things do they dream about and wish they would be able to get to experience together?
They talk about moving to a big city and making someplace their home. Getting a shitty one bedroom apartment together where the AC never works quite right and has more stairs than an Aztec pyramid just to get to. But none of it matters, because at the end of the day it's a place where the mailbox has both of their names. It's a place they both come home to.
Lexa liked the thought of the actual process of moving in together. As in, lugging boxes up 6 flights and finagling it all through too-narrow doorways and ending the day collapsing into a sweaty heap together on their unmade bed that lays on the floor. "It will build character," was how she had definitively put it in rebuttal to Clarke's groan of, "Oh fuck that."
Clarke just sighs and kisses the naked hip under her head. Maybe she'll end up liking it when they actually do it. Someday.
They talk about what they'll do for their first anniversary. For their 10th. 20th. Their 50th way down the line. Plans for exotic vacations and vow renewals, if for no other reason than to give themselves more moments just like this. They plan as far out as their 23 yo selves can really fathom, and even beyond that. Because Lexa says in no uncertain terms that she doesn't have any plans of divorcing Clarke's silly ass at any point in the future.
They seal the agreement with a potentially legally binding pinky-promise and a kiss when Clarke just shrugs an easy, "Yeah well, me neither."
They talk about if they're gonna have kids. When they will. How many. The dreaded conversation of whether they'll raise them to be Disney kids or give them even a remote chance at being normal 🥴
Eventually they settle on a cat at some point. Much easier logistics than weighing the pros and cons of summer camp vs annual trips to financially gluttonous amausements parks. Besides, Clarke's always wanted one, but Marcus is allergic. And she likes the thought of them being moms to a little fur baby before they commit to a life of no sex and little sleep.
Lexa agrees on the strict caveat that she gets to name it, leaving Clarke with zero vetoing power.
That gets sealed with a kiss too.
They just spend the time coming up with any different scenarios they can think of. Some wild, some as mundane as who will be in charge of the dishes. They make promises to be vulnerable with each other and never totally shut the other out. They promise to compromise in their lives and always make choices with the other's happiness and mind, to give each other space to be angry or sad or afraid. They promise that even when things inevitably get tough, and they feel like they might break, they're not going to be like everyone else. They're gonna make this marriage thing work.
They will.
Just as soon as they get their someday...
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Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 15, Episode 5
This Magic Moment to end off this half of the series, so excited to write what happens next 😊
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They're watching each other again, they're always watching each other when Matty drives. I wonder what they're thinking about, if Ethan is still thinking about how it didn't make sense, or how they accept him and want him there, if he's wondering if he should really stay because there's no need to go back even if he's wrong? And Matty, if he's wondering (my hands no joke just type wonderful on instinct) if he'll stay, or how he's feeling after their talk, if he's okay, or maybe if he's wondering what else Ethan might be hiding from them or if he's ready to keep accepting him no matter what the truth is.
I need to talk to everyone who worked on this show or I will end up haunting the earth with unfinished business
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This song is so them-coded I needed to make it theirs only to make it hurt, I'm all for a good song being ironically played in serious scenes, it's hilarious to me and this is the other scene I filmed on my phone to share the first time I saw it, but c'mon, does it not fit them being in love exactly?
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Sure doesn't look too happy to see her even though she should be signifying that he can go home soon huh. She even told him she'd be down there and he looks more shocked than relieved, and half of me is like 'she's there to take him home and he doesn't want that' and the other half is like 'he told her the times and now she appears and this is bad news' like how I wrote it in my fic, but this is canon Ethan so he could also be thinking anything with how he doesn't look too worried when they arrive
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Poor Matty he's just glancing over at a passing car, he's heard her voice, seen her here, and also meets her and never once does he connect the dots I need to protect him from the oncoming heartbreak he goes through enough
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Thank you, dear god, if I saw anyone else play Johnson it wouldn't have worked even half as well, there is only one Johnson and he can only be played by David Dastmalchian and I stand by that so hard.
Also lol at Matty leaning back so far and seriously cause he's in the shot
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This is also unforgivable, how dare she do this right after sending the Brawlers after him, she's officially put him into danger by association and she knows it and she still gives him this wave, as a character she's so fascinating but my god I can't forgive her
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And then it's over. You can only pray that this has nothing to do with what you talked about yesterday, Ethan, and that they'll still love you when it all comes out
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The casual pull up, this is just another normal drop, things are calm, Ethan gets to toss Matty the bag this time, he fixes his sleeves Johnson-style, and then it all goes to hell. This is probably the first time Matty's seen anything like this, since he got here after the war and all, and Johnson's probably thinking 'oh no not again' after so long of things being good, but Ethan, with him seeing this and then throwing away his phone next ep, he knows that this is his fault
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Matty freaking out and explaining things to a couple random Brawlers before turning to Johnson as he walks away, Johnson motioning for someone to come over, and Ethan for some reason went to talk to his own random Brawler, interesting choice there, I wonder what he said
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This shot has an interesting cut, on Hulu it starts later and goes for longer, and on Amazon it starts sooner and ends halfway through, so I spliced them together to make one big shot. I know they did it since the following scene was cut and they needed to keep the Joel continuity, but still, I loved seeing all the differences between the two as I did this ep
Oooooooough Matty all curled up while he talks to Joel, he's the only one who wants to become a Brawler and he's the one panicking the hardest here outta all of them, even Ethan is just standing around while Johnson sits off to the side, why wouldn't he also be talking to Joel about this? I'm telling you, he only talks to people whenever Matty can't, and I will bring this up again when I do ep6 and 10
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This scene was cut entirely, which is a shame since it's so good. We got Matty being all panicky and fidgety, we got Meredith being sisterly to Lyla which is always nice, we got Avron 😒 and we got a nice shot of Johnson they robbed from us. The rest of their convo is unintelligible, I can make out Matty saying 'He just-' and then that's it, with whispers of them still going, wish the Brawlers could've talked a little less here
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I love the reveal that Bash did this cause Percy was his brother, every reveal is great in this show, but this is about the Phoenixes so we must look at them. Of course they gotta go back to show them what happened, but what I wanna know is why Ethan is the one chosen to drive back. I wrote Matty as being too wired to concentrate, and Johnson is taking his sweet time back there (he throws out his cigarette twice lol) but you'd think that Ethan might also be too wired since he saw an actual dead body like an hour before, even if they don't know each other that well.
There's also something in the backseat of the third gif and I still have no idea what it is
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Like is this a piece of film equipment? I have no idea what that thing is in both show and real world context, it almost looks like a speaker or something
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Bonus Meredith and Lyla cause this shot was also cut, the rest of the ep is the same from here
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All three of them waiting outside and giving them time to inspect/grieve 🥺 they didn't even try to stop Bash when he rushed out, they just get back in the car and wait for Joel to follow. Matty doesn't even really look in, he's just looking down and away, which Johnson does at the same time I just noticed
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Matty is driving, but there's no one in the backseat unless they turned into shadows or I'm blind
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RIP Gary, your promised rematch with Matty would've been legendary
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It's hard to see cause this is the world's darkest bar but Johnson actually reacts to this one, he touches his forehead just over Joel's shoulder near the end
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Matty once again looking to only Johnson while he's already looking at them and not the carnage /)o(\ This is what your loyalty to Doris did, Ethan! Just tell her to fuck off instead of answering her ;w;
And that's it, I won't do the rest of the eps until I'm done writing Light the Fuse, which I was hoping to be doing this whole time but it's been so busy I haven't had a chance to sit down and write anything OTL but since this ended up finishing on a Tuesday, I'll give myself one more week to try and stock up (since I've got nothing to post heh ;w;) and then in a few months when this fic is all done we can look at more details together~
Thanks so much for joining me so far, this has been a lot of fun and I can't wait to get back to working on both the fic and this series again asap ❤️💙💛
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yandere-daze · 2 years
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Aaahhh I feel bad sending more ideas because you're so packed with them but I had another one - imagine if darling Did date someone in Enstars, But they're exes now, the ex unit would deffo be batshit insane and obsess over what made you two broke up, even if it's reasonable in normal circumstances... (Ex: breaking up because you two don't mutually connect or are compatible enough, the relationship was too toxic, etc) the others units though, hoooo... Yeesshhhh - diary anon
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Oooh this is such a good idea though, very spicy!! Yanderes and break-ups don't match well, huh?
gn reader
tw yandere, obsession, possessiveness, jealousy, implied stalking
What if darling dated someone in the Yandere! Enstars world but broke up with them?
Well, I think your little description was very fitting for this!
When you first agreed to date them, the yandere in question was probably over the moon. They've been yearning for you for so long, always thinking about you and daydreaming about what it would be like to spend every waking moment by your side.
They were trying their hardest to get close to you, to hopefully worm their way into your heart just as you did to them, and then it actually worked out. They couldn't believe it at first, too overwhelmed with happiness, that you were now a couple.
They did it. You're dating. Somehow it all worked out in their favor and they can't believe their luck. Now they can proudly proclaim themselves as being all yours! They want everyone to know that you're dating them and that you're happily taken. These other pesky idols should stay away as far as possible and leave the two of you alone!
The yandere is probably the happiest they have ever been and they're already imagining spending the rest of their life with you, moving in and growing old together, when you approach them one day, an uneasy expression on your face.
Of course they smile as soon as they see you but they can't help but be worried about the frown on your face. Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?? Are you okay???
But instead, you say something completely different. Something they didn't expect and quite honestly never wanted to hear from your mouth.
"I think it would be best if we broke up"
A single sentence, and their heart shattered into tiny pieces. Where did this come from? Weren't you both so happy together? Weren't you having a lot of fun? They enjoyed every single moment they got to spend with you so where did they go so wrong? They don't understand!
They're so taken aback and in despair that none of your words even register anymore as they try to think of *anything* that might have been the cause for this. They don't listen when you explain that you're incompatible, that you need some space from them, that you don't feel like this relationship is healthy for either of you
Did they accidentally say something that upset you? The very thought makes them sad but they'll be sure to apologize if that's the case! No matter what they did, please don't give up on this relationship so easily!
Or maybe the gift they gave you last time wasn't to your liking and you think that they don't actually know what you enjoy? Well that couldn't be further from the truth, they know all about you from secretly watching you for so long!
Or.. did someone else put this silly thought into your head? Did they feed you lies and told you to break up with them so they could sneak by and take you for themselves? Is that it?! No, they won't let anyone else take you away, you two are perfect for each other! They love you so so much, they can't just let it end like this! They need you! They can't live without you!
Please just give them a second chance! They promise they'll make it up to you, they can be good for you! Just don't give up hope and believe in them and your relationship!
And yet, when word gets out that you're single again, your ex isn't the only one that practically goes crazy.
When it was announced that you were now dating someone, everyone else quickly fell into a pit of despair, sadness and anger. They loved you just as much, no, even more so!! They wanted to be with you so desperately but you were deceived and stolen away by someone that was unworthy of being with you!
Of course they had always hoped that the relationship would fail and maybe tried putting some uncertain thoughts into your head that maybe your current partner wasn't a good match for you...
But it actually worked? You broke up with them for good?? Oh, they couldn't be happier! There's a huge amount of relief washing over them, now that they know that there is still a chance. A chance for them to fill the void in your heart and make you fall in love with them.
They too want their happily-ever-after with you and so they will do their absolute utmost to finally win you over! They won't take any chances and let you get swept away again when they know that they're your soulmate!
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three-duck-houses · 1 year
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@fe-oc-week Day 2 - Relationships
Nico has several relationships with characters before she meets the Lords in Remire, including her family, the Troupe, Lady Daphnel, Byleth, Jeralt, Shez, and Leonie. She then develops more throughout the school year (Hilda, Claude, Raphael, Caspar, Sylvain, Felix, Flayn, and Seteth)
(This got loooooooooooooooong and kinda rambly, I'm sorry<_<;;; )
Her family:
There's her maman Mali, her sister Cassida (Cassi, Mali's daughter), uncle Perry and aunt Helan, her cousin Ryan, and Gramps and Gramma Eisner. Also her Mamani (Mali's mother), uncle Rafa, and cousins Rizeti and Kota in Almyra who they lived with while they were there. She adores them all and will do anything and everything she can to make sure they're all happy and healthy and safe, even things she normally hates, like murder. And lying
The Troupe:
The Portia Performers Troupe is a group of about 90 people who split into 4 travelling groups plus those who stay at "base camp" to help make props and costumes and look after those who are too old young or injured to travel. Nico had plenty of "cousins" to play with while growing up, since most children stay at camp to be raised communally by those who stay behind until they're old enough to not be in danger or pull their own weight on the road. She adores her extended family, and will always try her best to keep them safe and happy. Especially those who she grew up with, and she has something of a flirty banter type relationship with them, since that's just what they're like? (Being able to read and flirt with people is a good skill to have when you're hoping they'll throw money your way)
Lady Daphnel:
Nico admires and respects Lady Daphnel a lot, and is extremely grateful for everything she's done to help her family since they came back to Fodlan. Including giving them a place to stay and helping them all find jobs, especially her (since she'd never planned on bringing a wyvern back with her, which sort of got in the way of her vague plans on joining the troupe since she'd never be able to afford Kilani's food if she did)
She's loyal to Lady Daphnel, placing her interests a very close second place after her family's, and strives to live up to the faith her Lady has placed in her when she was made a personal messenger for Lady Daphnel... and entrusted with collecting spy reports from around Fodlan since she can carry messages much more securely and quickly than other messengers and methods, since she can magic the winds to make Kilani fly faster
Byleth:
Nico loves spending time with Byleth no matter what they end up doing, whether that's fishing, cleaning and mending things around the camp, cooking together, sparring, or Nico telling stories she'd learned while travelling. Her "cousin" might not say much, but anything she does say is well worth listening to. She's found Byleth has become a little more expressive over the 4 years she's known her, that or Nico has simply gotten better at noticing the tiny changes in expression and body language Byleth makes, but either way, Nico is right more often than not at guessing what Byleth is thinking, and putting whatever that is into words
She's worried about Byleth being at the academy, since when she healed Byleth a while ago she found the giant lump of rock embedded in her heart, and Jeralt ended up telling them both about what happened with Byleth's birth since it was probably related to the rock. But besides being nearby in case anything happens, she'll follow Byleth's wishes and try to not make too much of a fuss while they're here
Shez:
Shez is her bestie, pretty much the first friend she ever made who wasn't in some way related to her. She kind of treats him like she does her troupe cousins, but also kinda doesn't, since he can relate to the fighting bandits and monsters aspect of her life more than her extended family can, who can only relate to the constantly moving around part
They're very relaxed and casual with each other, and always found something or other to talk about when they ran into each other
At one point, Nico asked him to pretend to be her boyfriend to help her get out of a potential arranged marriage meeting her Mamani had been asked to set up, and he thought the idea of someone wanting to marry her without having met her hilarious, so agreed to go to the meeting with her. The plan worked, and he enjoyed meeting Mamani and trying a bunch of Almyran foods, so when she needed his help again he agreed, and kept agreeing to the point they swapped from pretend-boyfriend to pretend-fiance
(Neither of them are the least little bit interested in each other like that though. Shez is pretty much in it at this point for the home cooked food and Mamani doting on him and calling him a handsome young man)
She got Shez to join the Blade Breaker crew after the run in between them and Berling's lot, since she pointed out that it was kinda just business gone bad, Berling's crew hadn't had to die if she hadn't been trying to kill them, and, well, he doesn't have anywhere else he needs to be/can go? And also please don't keep trying to kill Byleth, as much as she does adore Shez, making people pick between two options never really goes well for the person pushing the choice...
Leonie:
Leonie is Nico's other bestie, and her first and only real "normal" friend she has until she starts at the academy, since everyone else is either "family" or Shez, who's a constantly moving merc
Nico has a somewhat flirty attitude towards Leonie, because it's what she defaults to when not using her suck-up-to-nobles manners, and Leonie has either never noticed or never cared and has thus never asked her to tone it down or stop
She loves spending time with her since she always knows where she stands with Leonie, and any arguments tend to be over silly things, like if Nico really has to keep practicing archey till she hits the damn target please Leonie please let me stop I've been shooting this damn bow for half a bloody hour please
Hilda:
Nico sort of knew Hilda before she meets her at the academy, because she knows Holst from delivering letters and stopping by the Locket on her way to and from visiting her family in Almyra, and Holst had asked her to buy various jewellery supplies from the markets
She thinks Hilda is nice enough--as nobles go--at first, but quickly catches on to her lazy tendencies. She's happy enough to let things go and pick up Hilda's slack, since she is just a commoner who hasn't paid for her place here like others have after all.
After Nico knocks Hilda out of the way of an attack and gets a nasty axe wound to her arm, Hilda starts trying a little harder to get to know her, and when she realises just how socially awkward Nico is with people who aren't Byleth, Shez, and Leonie, she sort of takes Nico under her wing, and teach her the other forms that friendships can take
Claude:
Nico's relationship with Claude is... complicated
It starts off pretty badly when she gets upset he let her babble on about how great Oswald, no, sorry, she means Lord Rei-damnit all, Duke Reigan is, without stopping her or telling her he's his grandson. And then he gets very suspicious and wary of her when she tells Byleth and Jeralt in Almyran that she can get enough money to bribe the three lords to pretend they didn't see the crew, since some guy has been pestering her uncle to get her to find the youngest Prince who's not been seen in over a year, and offering her a literal Prince's ransom for her trouble...
His opinion starts to change when she takes an arrow in the back of her shoulder in the classes first mission. And then when she gets poisoned while keeping him safe from an assassin. And then when Judith tells him that she trusts Nico, so even if he can't trust her himself can he trust her judgement?
She stops being mad at him pretty quickly, but by that point he's wary, and then by the time he's started to open up to her, she's put him pretty firmly in the "employer I must keep safe" mental folder, so she feels pretty conflicted about if she can or should befriend him or not
At least, whether she should while they're here at the academy. After he's graduated and she's not being (sort of) paid to look after him, anything's possible
Raphael and Caspar:
Her training buddies! When taking the weapon proficiency exams when she enrolled, Nico demonstrated that she knew some hand to hand combat. But it's vastly different to what is taught for Brawling. And both Raphael and Caspar wanted to spar against her to try and pick some of it up
So every week they get together and work through some of the exercises she uses, and she's slowly teaching them some of the other "fun" things she can do, like floating push ups, and handstand push ups, and how to jump half your height from standing, and tight rope walking
She likes them both a lot, since like with Leonie, she pretty much always knows where she stands with them, and they're both great to train with since they're both really encouraging, and take feedback well
Sylvain:
Sylvain reminds her a lot of one of her troupe cousins, and she unintentionally treats him as such... flirty banter and all
After a conversation in which Nico spells out that she has no real interest in dating him, flirting is just fun sometimes coz it's nice to make people feel good about themselves, and Gautier is kinda far and too fucking freezing for her to want to visit him at regularly, Sylvain realises that she honestly does like him for him, and doesn't want any of the things he assumes most girls do
They fall into a tentative friendship, blurred a little because Nico runs cold and Sylvain runs warm and she has odd definitions of personal space, which get worse later in the year because reasons, but mean she'll sometimes sit on his lap and wrap herself around him under his jacket to try and warm up, which he's kinda fine with so long as Seteth won't yell at him for it?
Felix:
At first she got on ok with Felix, he was fun to spar with and she got to demonstrate a wide variety of fighting styles to keep him on his toes with. But then after an incident on her dead mother's birthday where he wouldn't take the hint to stop asking her to spar, and she lashed out at him, accusing him of being the insatiable Blue Lion who won't take a girls no for an answer, the somewhat friendly rivalry disappears in smoke
It takes several weeks after her heartfelt and public apology before he'll look at her again, at which point he grudgingly admits she had a point, now shut up and teach him how she does that dance move he saw her do, it looks like it'll be useful for fighting
So things become kinda ok between them.
He sometimes joins her Raphael and Caspar for the "odd" training, and she gets him to walk the tightrope, saying it's good dexterity practice
(she just wants an excuse to throw things at him and try to knock him down)
Flayn:
Nico knows pretty much from the moment she meets them that they aren't human, because she's got a spell tattooed around her eyes that lets her see magic that she kinda can't turn off (long story), and their internal magic flow is very much not the same as everyone else's. Only matched by Rhea's, really. And kinda similar to what's around Byleth's heart rock... hmm
She makes an effort to spend time with Flayn when she sees she's alone, because while she's heard about how protective Seteth is, she also knows how lonely it is to be alone while surrounded by people. She keeps conversations to safe topics at first, but soon discovers that Flayn is an absolute treasure trove of stories she hasn't heard before, and is more than happy to trade stories with her that she'd learned on her travels.
Seteth:
Seteth is unimpressed with her at first, partly because of the fact they'd had to let Nico join the academy in order for Byleth to stay (Byleth was going to refuse if Nico and Shez couldn't stay for the year too), and partly because she was openly spending time with Flayn
But after Nico tries to prevent Flayns abduction, and then pushes her magic beyond its limits and severely injures herself while getting Flayn back, he mellows slightly towards her, both because he feels he owes her something of a debt, but also because he sees Nico honestly does care for Flayn
It makes the tail end of the year rather interesting =3
There are a few other relationships I could possibly mention, like the also complicated ones she has with Dimitri and Edelgard, but I'm going to call it there, because this is already way too long as it is <__<;;
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bestcurse · 1 year
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it might not look it from a glance in his direction, but miller can't quite remember the last time he's ever felt this miserable before. parties, he could usually handle— well, he's grown a lot more accustom to them, as of late, now that he's got devon, a kindred spirit to stick by— but tonight she's far out of reach, and he's been pushed towards someone their friends think would be a good match for him, introducing them both in the hopes that they'll hit it off. and it's not as though miller's trying to be rude, but he can't seem to help the way his eyes continue to drift over towards the person of his true affection, seemingly always able to find her, no matter how thick the crowd is, or where she ends up. but, it's here, when longing stares of his own shoot across the room, that confusion begins to settle within his frame, too. he knows that there's something deeper going on between the pair of them; that their illusion of just friends wasn't holding up any longer. truthfully, for him, it hasn't been since that night they shared their first kiss, but it's only in the aftermath of her previous relationship, once it had ended, that the sentiment has really rung true for him. it's stemmed from the nights they've spent glued at the hip; the new discoveries he makes of her each and every day, only liking her all the more, because of it. there's nothing else, really, that he'd like, other than to be directly by her side, right now, continuing to build on what they've already started to develop, but it's as he stands across the other side of the room, stuck in a loop of conversation he barely has an interest in, that he realises nothing's been set in concrete. that they've never had that conversation of exclusivity, or anything of the sort— that actually, this was a completely normal thing for him to be doing, considering he barely knows where he stands with her. and so, maybe with the aid of a few drinks, he finds himself entertaining the other as much as he can; not necessarily to raise feelings of jealously, or anything similar, but more so to garner an understanding of where they stood, what any of the past few weeks have meant. though, as much as he tries to, he can't hold out for very long, soon excusing himself under the guise of getting another drink, but really he's just looking for the excuse to bump into devon, which he does, once he reaches the kitchen. " oh, hey, " he begins, voice a little too casual, considering this is one of the first times he's spoken to her all night long, fingers reaching out for a fresh red cup. " having fun? " / @hurtingkind
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