#it might end up being like book length lol

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

The worst part about following the game missions in fics is trying to pick the ones that make the most sense for the story lmaoooo

[bokutosbiceps]

don't be afraid to catch feels

eustass kid/monkey d luffy/roronoa zoro/trafalgar d water law/usopp/vinsmoke sanji  x gn!reader | fluff | ~2k words

warnings: some suggestive/18+ themes but nothing explicit

a/n: idk i just really wanted to write so THIS was born !!! how some of the one piece boys realize they have feelings for ya !!  might do this for other fandoms too…actually yeah i will LOL probably if i don’t forget

NOTE: i end them after their confession on PURPOSE so you can choose your own adventure 😆 also there’s more dialogue for luffy’s + usopp’s so they’re a bit longer !!

18+ MDNI | under the cut for length

eustass kid is angry. he's angry that he developed a crush on you. it's so stupid, he thinks. so outta character.

everyone on the victoria punk knows it, including you. and much to kid’s dismay, so does killer. killer talks to him about it everyday, trying to coax a confession out of him in the most gentle yet firm way he can. he wants his captain to be happy, and he knows that you can make him happy, because you already do without knowing it.

kid is completely docile in your presence, and protective. he’s more quiet, because he wants to hear what you have to say. he’s around more, because he wants to keep an eye on you. and maybe because he likes being in your presence.

kid tells (threatens) the rest of his crew that, even though they’re like brothers to him, they’ll be ripped to shreds if any of them so much as glance at you the wrong way.

luckily for you and unluckily for him, you’d heard his very public threat to the kid pirates, save for you. 

you ask kid what the hell all that was about and he simply shrugs, rolling his eyes and trying but failing to keep his cool. you scoff and chuckle at his indignance. you continue to press him till he finally gets annoyed and locks eyes with you, his pupils dilated and his lips spread out into a crazy grin.

“jus’ claiming what’s mine.”

monkey d luffy is seeking out the smartest person he knows, and once he sees her, he’s barreling toward her at lightning speed. hands appear, arising from the wood of the sunny’s deck and forming a net right in front of robin, effectively catching luffy and recoiling him flat onto his butt.

“robin! what was that for?” luffy whines, adjusting his straw hat and tilting it back so that he can look at robin.

“i’d prefer to not be crashed into, captain.” robin shuts her book and gives luffy a gentle, almost maternal smile. “now, what has you so excited?”

luffy is thoughtful as he opts to lay back down on the deck, tilting his straw hat over his face to shield his eyes from the sun. he’s not excited, kinda confused, actually. 

he’s good with his feelings, because he knows his feelings. he's familiar with them. but these feelings—the ones he's been feeling for the past couple of weeks or so—are new. he doesn’t know them, but he wants to learn about them. so here he is, ready to learn with the smartest person he knows.

“well…i wouldn’t call it excited, ya know?” luffy stretches his arms overhead before folding them behind his head. robin chuckles quietly, already aware of luffy’s feelings before he'd even realized them himself.

“what would you call it then?” robin asks patiently.

“like…i dunno! it’s different! it’s different with ‘em…” luffy trails off, sinking back into his thoughts.

“different with who?”

“y/n!” luffy chirps, feeling himself smile at the mention of your name. “i’m really happy they’ve joined the crew!”

“happy like…you’re happy that i joined the crew?” 

“nuh uh, like…i always wanna be near ‘em. i like when they laugh, when they’re happy. their smile’s real nice, too.” luffy pauses. “it’s a lot of fun to be alone with ‘em! makes me feel good…”

robin takes her time explaining what these feelings mean, that that bubbly, queasy feeling in his stomach was not, in fact, indigestion. once robin’s words seep into luffy’s thick, rubber skull, he jumps up off the deck and wraps robin in a tight hug, grinning the whole time and whisper yelling i gotta go tell ‘em!

luffy finds you instantly, almost like his body contains a homing device that always leads to you. you notice way too late that you are in the direct path of the tornado that is luffy, and he tackles you, causing you to fall back. luffy is quick to catch you, stretching an arm around your waist and bringing you to his chest, looking at your face with such intensity you can’t keep your face from heating up.

you’re breathless. due to the adrenaline from almost cracking your skull against the wood of the ship, and from the i’ve got feelings for ya! robin says they're love feelings! do you feel the same? that rushed out of luffy’s mouth.

roronoa zoro is confused. honestly, more confused than he’s ever been in his life. then he’s annoyed. why did he have to develop feelings for a crewmate, let alone you? it would just get in the way of everything. he wants to focus on his dream, on luffy’s dream, and sometimes even on sanji’s dream.

he doesn’t consider himself a particularly selfish person, but he wanted to focus on himself first. 

but then he sees you smile. he hears you laugh. he watches you work and hone your craft, a look of ecstatic determination on your face and the tip of your tongue peeking out between your pursed lips as you focus. suddenly, he realizes it’s really not about him anymore. it’s about you.

he starts to avoid you like the plague—he figures that if he can’t see you, you can’t see him. but he’s oh so wrong. 

when you decide you've had enough of this, you stop zoro, your hand gripping his shoulder and pulling as hard as you can. zoro raises an eyebrow at you and turns around, crossing his arms and waiting for you to explain yourself.

“you’ve been avoiding me.” you state, leaving no room for disagreement or excuses.

“says who?” zoro is very good at playing dumb.

“says me. and luffy.” you huff a bit as you remember your encounter with your captain. how his lips had twisted to the side and how his eyes had shot up to the sky when you’d asked what zoro’s problem was.

“luffy doesn’t know��”

“know why you’ve been avoiding me?” you step closer to zoro, your eyes locked on his and staring into his soul, searching for answers. “i’m sure we’d both love to know.”

zoro scoffs and rolls his eyes, taking a step back from you and turning his face to the sea. the cool ocean breeze feels nice against his burning face. he grimaces as he turns back to you, figuring he might as well get this over with.

“ilikeyou.” zoro mumbles, the words rushing out of his mouth and stopping quickly as they had started.

you shake your head and lean closer to zoro, turning your head to the side so his lips are inches away from your cheek. 

“can you repeat that, please, roronoa?”

“i like you.” zoro says the three, short, quipped words. he’s frowning and his arms are crossed and pulled tightly against his chest, in hopes to dampen the hammering of his heart.

trafalgar d water law is no stranger to stuffing his feelings deep inside of his chest and leaving them there to rot. so he’s wondering why in the fresh hell these annoying feelings for you keep resurfacing. they crawl up his esophagus and reflux into his mouth, leaving a bitter taste behind and making him scowl every time he feels them. 

and to you, it seems as though every time the two of you lock cross paths, he narrows his eyes at you and stalks away. he rarely talks to you anymore, although the conversations you'd shared before were usually very short, yet somehow still meaningful.

you decide to confront him about it, byway of bepo, who happened to know exactly why law was seemingly scarce around you. 

“c-captain? our captain?” bepo stutters, bringing his paw up to his mouth and feigning surprise. “wow! i have no clue why he’d do something like that!”

you frown at bepo. it’s painfully obvious he knows everything about the answer to your question. “spill it, bepo.”

bepo starts to make gestures with his hands and little struggle noises with his mouth. he has no clue how to get out of this one. so he does, indeed, spill it. 

a few minutes later, after bepo was done with his rambling and law’s confession, you approach law with a smug smile on your face.

it doesn’t take a genius to be able to tell why you’re smirking like that, and law immediately pinches the bridge of his nose and tilts his head down.

“that damn bear…”

usopp is sweaty. he’s sweaty, he’s wringing his hands, twirling his hair around his fingers, readjusting his goggles on top of his head. he can’t sit still. he’s been thinking about how on earth to deal with his feelings: does he just shove 'em deep down inside or does he shout 'em from the crow’s nest? he hasn’t had romantic feelings for anyone since he left kaya, and he simply cannot deal. 

“usopp…” nami says softly, touching usopp on the shoulder. he jumps, then flinches at his overreaction to his best friend’s simple and gentle gesture. “can you just tell them, please?”

“n-no! why should i?” usopp frowns at nami and furrows his eyebrows, knowing full well that it’d be best for his health and the crew’s sanity to just come out and tell you.

“if you don’t…” nami grins at him, slowly and mischievously, “i’ll tell them myself.”

usopp immediately springs up from his chosen sulking location and mutters an okay, okay! behind him as he leaves nami. he’s back to sweating, wringing his hands, playing with his hair, and fidgeting with his goggles.

you notice usopp looking particularly dreadful and wait for him to get closer to your position on the deck. you reach out and catch his hand, giving it a light tug so that he’s moving closer to you. he seems so deep in thought that he doesn’t even notice.

“usopp?” you tug on his hand twice, trying to get his attention. usopp meets your gaze and stares at you blankly before shaking his head and becoming aware of the situation. he tries to withdraw his hand from your grip but you’re holding on tightly, and he realizes he’s trapped.

“y/n! fancy seeing you here!” usopp laughs loudly, trying to mask the way that he’s absolutely crumbling and melting.

“what’s on your mind, usopp?”

“you.” usopp covers his mouth with his free hand immediately after the words come out of his mouth. what was he thinking, being so forward? he quickly looks away from you, directing his eyes to the clouds above. “i mean, nami was talking about you earlier. that’s why i’m thinking about you. no other reason!”

a small smile spreads across your lips. “oh, yeah. she told me something super interesting about you earlier today…” you say, drawing out the last few syllables and relishing in the way usopp looks at you in utter horror.

“nami told you that i like you?” he breathes.

“no, but you just did.”

vinsmoke sanji is aware that he actually likes you. that you're not just another pretty face he admires. he’s always known you were gorgeous, the apple of his eye, the object of his affection. you never noticed that it different, though. thinking back on it, you’re glad that you didn’t notice, because you might’ve thought it meant something bad. quite the contrary, in fact.

sanji knows he loves you when he feels calm in your presence. when he’s not acting like a fan boy and when he spends hours talking with you while he cooks or does the dishes or plans the crew's next meal. you’re always around, and yet, he’s never nervous. 

when he really realizes it, though, it’s when he catches a glimpse of nami’s naked silhouette through the crack in the bathroom door and he doesn’t even flinch. not a tingle, not a single palpitation. it’s not you, and his heart knows it, so he’s calm. this is when he knows he has to confess.

“y/n…darling…” sanji says, grasping your hands in his own and looking you in the eyes. “i have to tell you something—something i’ve never told anyone before.”

you look at him, an eyebrow raised in skeptical curiosity. sanji looks worried, and he almost never looks worried. your mind is going a mile a minute, your brain flipping through pages and pages of things he could possibly say to you within the next minute. because of this, you miss the way sanji squeezes your hands, and the way he sucks in a deep breath.

“i’m in love with you.”

taglist: @usoppsstar (i literally can’t remember anyone else rn lolol, i just knew i wanted to surprise ya coco) | @kingofthe-egirls | @pileofmush | @anemptypuddingcup

[the-goddess-of-mischief-writing]

Random Captain John Price headcanons

sfw and nsfw

pairing: Cpt. John Price x reader (cod mw)

tags/tw: domestic stuff, afab!reader, masturbation, spanking, hickeys, Price is an ass-man

a/n: inspired by a conversation I had with @melancholyy-hill and just some random thoughts, might do a second part to this, tell me if you want any other characters

John Price MASTERLIST

sfw

-Price has two phones, one for work and a private one, he doesn't like using the same one when he's deployed in countries where there's definitely a chance of it getting hijacked

-he's so tidy, like having a surroundings to calm his mind, make it easier to concentrate for him

-he's also pretty strict with his own cleanliness

-don't get me wrong, Price doesn't mind getting dirty on the field and in bed, would be weird if he did lol, but once at home or base, he takes care of himself

-we talking beard oil, grooming, trimming his nails if they got jagged during deployment and picking out the dirt from beneath them

-not that he dislikes showing you off in public, on the opposite he loves having you by his side, showing others you're his, but he gets uneasy with PDA

-that's why he's such an old-fashioned gentleman with showing you affection around people, those small gestures that make women swoon and telling you that you're found 'a good one, god you're so lucky'

-hand on the small of your back in a crowd is a must, palm resting on your knee when sitting down, you walk on the side furthest from the road, standing/walking behind you on the escalator or stars if you're wearing a skirt, kisses to your hand, temple, forehead or crown

-he always does the bed in the mornings despite you being the one who wakes up last

nsfw below the cut

-he's such a fucking ass man, like he appreciates boobs, thinks your nipples look good poking through a shirt or deliciously teasing in lingerie, but he prefers your ass

-like this man's hand is drawn to the plush flesh of your rear like magnets, just like his eyes

-back turned? eyes down, staring at ass.

-don't get him started at how he folds when watching it jiggle in doggy style or reversed cowgirl

-lowkey struggles not to blatantly stare or grab at you when you're in public and the pants/leggings you're trying on make it look too fucking good for his health

-sometimes you can just be relaxing, laying on your stomach and he comes up from behind, kneading your ass, swatting it to watch it jiggle

-other times, he pulls you on top of him, resting a book against your ass as he reads, one of his hands always groping you, you simply prop a pillow on his legs to get comfortable as you'd gotten used to this request of his

- you've stopped counting the times he'd put down his book and started parting your asscheeks as he massages your rear, in the end Price can't help how his thumb rubs the folds of your covered pussy

-if he gets to know you don't mind spanking, it's over, the man swats your ass constantly around the house,

-he thinks your gasps are adorable as you shoot him a look he ignores bc he knows you like it

-does not whine, not a particularly big moaner either, but the grunts and groans is enough to make up for it

-high-sex drive when he's around you, but during deployment he keeps it under wraps, which leads me to...

-not that big of a masturabator, but once in a while he needs to rid himself of the crawling desire in his spine, simply having to jerk one out to be able to concentrate, probs because he thought about you for too long

-BUT he actually really loves mutual masturbation, started when he walked in on you once when returning unexpectedly early from a mission

-'don't mind me, love, continue' he would husk at your wide eyes following him as walked from the bedroom doorframe to the little seating area you had in front of the bed, sometimes used when you did your makeup or Price would read, sitting down and to your surprise pulling down his pant, jerking his already half-hard cock to full length, waiting expectantly

-he puts on a show as well, using two hands, one to stroke himself in matching speed to how you finger yourself, the other cupping and fondling his balls

-would definitely not shy from throwing his head backwards when reaching his sensitive cocked with palms too rough in comparison to your soft ones

- Price is so fucking sly about where he leaves hickeys

-as previously mentioned, he doesn't really like the public attention it pulls, but a primal part of him swells when seeing the marks he's left during your intimate moments, so he definitely likes to give you little lovebites

-so you can bet your ass you could leave the house in a crop-top and they wouldn't be visible, strategically placed where no one but him and you could see them, meaning the line of your panties, on or around your breast, inner thighs, etc

-the beach might be a problem however, you would never forget the time Soap had cackled like a fucking madman when he'd spotted the marks' inconspicuous placement, leaving absolutely no room to guess what Price had done between your legs

[002yb]

Secretary AU: A pipe has burst in Jason and Dami's apartment--they have to stay elsewhere for a week or so while it's repaired and things are being cleaned up and restored. Where are they staying, and how does Bruce make it so the manor is the obvious solution? 😂

It goes without saying that Bruce is the first to extend an invitation for Jason and Damian to stay at the manor while their apartment is being restored. A very eager, borderline aggressive invitation for how intensely it's offered lol.

Jason respectfully declining because Bruce is his boss; it'd be weird. A devastating blow to Bruce's heart, truly.

But Bruce isn't deterred. He insists.

And is promptly reprimanded by Tim who smacks him with a folder filled with contracts they need to review because Bruce is going to be the face of their next HR mandated training on harassment if he doesn't watch it.

Just Bruce tasting bitter defeat in the face of corporate culture and an amnesiac son who still doesn't remember him (and who Bruce had an ulterior motive to wanting to stay at the manor because maybe if Jason could stay in his old room, he would remember something. Something being Bruce. He misses his boy).

Tim offering to help find a hotel. Which he's already researched at length and has a list of suitable choices (all high end, safe, conveniently located on a route to/from the manor).

Jason being grateful for the effort up until he sees the unrealistic prices, at which point his smile drops to an unimpressed look of pure judgment because CEO and CFO salaries can afford this; Jason is a secretary.

Tim insisting WE will front the charges

Leading to Jason quipping about how Tim is going to be at the top of WE's audit risks this year, undoubtedly

And Tim can't even argue because either he's an audit risk or an HR problem - there's no winning

At which point Jason laughs and thanks his bosses for looking out for him, but Jason is fine. He can take care of himself. He's already got a motel booked.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Tim doing their utmost not to react to 'motel' like the rich bitties they are; they can't help it. They do ask which one though. And only let themselves visibly wither and die after Jason leaves the room because it's in such a dangerous location!! They know for a fact that there's an open investigation for a murder that happened on the premise; drug deals go down regularly in the alley just behind it!

Cue Batman and Robin wasting a portion of patrol monitoring the location. Stewing over the circumstances and startling when another pipe breaks.

It's an act of god (it's the League, courtesy of Talia who hears the news and refuses to have her son stay in such an environment) and, like the overbearing dorks they are, Bruce and Tim text Jason to check in, fully expecting news of needing a place for the night after all

The message they get instead: All good. Thanks.

The both of them thinking Jason is too proud or doesn't want to impose. But it's like, 2am and Jason is caring for a toddler. He needs support.

Which is precisely when Dick pulls up and Bruce and Tim (still as Batman and Robin) are so peeved because fucking dick.

But yes, Jason turns to Dick when everything at the motel goes tits up. Because somehow all the motels nearby are booked (again, courtesy of Talia) and Jason just needs help for a night, please.

So Dick comes over despite the late hour (and having been on patrol himself). He helps pack up the few things Jason and Damian have into the car, sends a cheeky little nod Batman and Robin's direction, and then they're off.

Which leads to the dickjay portion of this ask ///u////:

Where Dick's apartment isn't much of a home. It's not something Dick has ever cared about; he's not around enough for any comforts to matter.

Only he might care in that moment. Because Dick brings Jason over to this. Someplace empty and unwelcoming and cold.

'Did you get robbed?' Jason asks, a joke that Dick can't help but laugh at because he realizes that there really is nothing.

Because Dick moved abruptly. He left what little he had behind because everything he wants is here in Gotham now that Jason is back ;A;

But also because he genuinely stopped caring at some point and he's a bit staggered by the apathy in that - it's depressing.

It's such a contrast to Jason's apartment which is filled with warmth and life and comforts. Books on tables, Damian's art displayed on the fridge. Worn blankets folded over chairs and discolored drapes that paint shadows like lace across Jason's skin when the sun starts to set and they're sitting back on his couch and-

Dick's apartment isn't a home. And Dick might feel a little self-conscious about it because there's a vulnerability in exposing your home to someone and having there be so little. ;//////;

And Jason might not say anything, but he clues in. It gives him a new perspective on Dick and it's surprising, but he's not put off. Jason's more than familiar with having nothing and the slow process of finding things to build yourself (and your home) up.

But anyway. Dick showing Jason to the guest room. Scrambling to find which box he stowed away some quilts in. Passing off extra sweatshirts because they might not be enough to keep Jason and Damian warm.

And Jason calming him down by simply grabbing Dick's sleeve and looking up at him and telling him, 'thank you.' Because even if Dick feels it isn't enough, the gesture of being there in a time of need and putting himself out and wanting to do more for them means a lot more than Dick gives credit.

Stand by we're gonna get back to the building a home train of thought after this:

Where the next morning Dick is cooking breakfast for everyone and lowkey sweating because the domesticity is a lot

Jason coming out first (in Dick's sweatshirt and it might take Dick out at the knees a bit; might steal his breath) and being all endeared because Dick is cooking according to Damian's dietary restrictions and the thought is really sweet. ;U;

Something something wholesome breakfast while stood/sat at the counter. Dick, Jason, and Damian ahhhhhhhhh.

And that's how Bruce and Tim find them. Because they 'have a key' (they don't) and 'wanted to talk to Dick about a family matter' and 'oh, hey Jason didn't know you were here.'

Just the contrast of these two guys dressed to the nines while Dickjay + Damian are still in their sweats/pj's LOL

Then they all have breakfast together and it's sweet. It's a taste of the big family Dick misses from his childhood. <3

But yes, back to Dick's home being so scarce. Because of course by the time Jason and Damian leave to return to their apartment, Dick has Damian's art pinned to the fridge. As well as a blanket Jason knits (while on the clock at WE lol; Bruce and Tim are so jealous it's not even funny). It feels like this AU's Jason would know how to knit. Or he’d teach himself on the spot just for this.

Dick's home becoming more and more full of things as Dick sets down proper roots. Gifts from friends and family, second hand furnitures he picks up that Jason (+Tim and Bruce when they find out) helps him move in. (♡´艸`)

[obae-me]

Yes! Finally someone said it!

At first when I saw the interaction I went- hey he's being such a jerk- Ohhhhh wait! This is literally him wanting us to stay soo fricking bad, but Mr.Pridey McPridepants just can't admit it. OFC HE WOULD TRY TO IMPRESS US (even if this emotionally constipated man can't differ b/w chivalry and being an asshole). He's trying to so bloody hard to sweet talk his way into us staying. Even if he's being forceful and manipulative; it's because he's so shit scared of giving us the choice and then us choosing to go cuz he KNOWS wherever we going must mean a lot to us especially when we are going such great lengths to return.

Not to say, that this behavior is ok or good but at the end of the day isn't obey me about flawed and morally grey characters? Even the ANGELS aren't perfect and morally sound, and if I dare say, sometimes they make decisions even crueler than the demons. We are literally talking about the AVATAR OF PRIDE HERE! XD

Literally as soon as you look past the image that he literally puts up cuz he wants ppl to see him that way, you will realize that he really is just a soggy, pathetic man who can't put aside his pride to ask us to stay like a normal person XD Also to point out a lot of ppl LIKE Levi and Mammon BECAUSE OF their pathos lol.

I have always seen that there is SUCH a double standard when it comes to him. Ppl say that he's being too fake and only cares about his image and not his brothers, but when he does show his softer side, they say he's not being genuine or he's pushy or something of the sort. What most ppl fail to see is that he loves his brothers and mc, probably even more than his own life but he's just so bad at showing it because he is held back by his own trauma and sin. While that does not make him innocent... that does make him like his brothers. He acts this way because thats literally the only way he knows how to keep things in his control and keep his family safe and ppl fall for it ... LIKE IT'S NOT THE REAL HIM! TvT

I have this theory (might be a hot take idk?) that most of the ppl playing obey me are pretty young, so they don't like Lucifer because they are anti-authority (I also am, its not a bad thing) but this man is anything but Authority and Power. I might be a lucifer apologist lol but all I am saying is for ppl to look at him with the same open-minded lens they see the other brothers with and you might find him a lot more bearable and dare I say... likeable?

Phew, sorry for rambling in your inbox but I have some strong feelings for that stupid old man XD Also, this feels a lot similar to how expectations are so high and rigid for the eldest sibling whereas these same expectations become a lot less severe for the other siblings...

Firstly, thank you for calling him a soggy pathetic man, that gave me a good chuckle.

And YES! All of this, 100% yes. He doesn't want to admit that there are other things out there more important than him. Not just because of his Pride, but because he finally let someone else behind the walls he put up around his heart (we saw this around Nightbringer lessons 11 and 12, when he was ready to be THE enemy to protect his family, only to end up admitting to himself that he cared about MC just as much) and now, after all that, MC is determined to leave. I'm sure somewhere in his mind, he feels like he's failed.

He's puffing up his feathers as big as he can and screaming "look at me, look at me, look at me"! The big peacock man is flailing.

He's afraid. He's hurt. And so now these weird (and problematic) safety mechanisms are being put in place to protect himself.

Things in his mind are SO 'not fine' that now he's parading around trying to convince everyone (including himself) that everything is perfectly fine! Everything is perfect, everything is great, the outfits he chose are pristine, the food he settled on is text-book. It feels like he's following some sort of guide, like even the things he's saying have been pulled from a novel somewhere. It's not quite the way he normally speaks. If everything can play out the way he sees it in his head, there won't be room for error. Right?

And this isn't new behavior either. It was the ENTIRE plot of season 1 in Shall We Date. Lucifer locked Belphie away because he was worried of what might happen to his sibling. But in a way, 'protecting' his brother was mostly protecting himself.

He's worked so hard to create what he has, that he can't stand the idea of losing it all.

There's also a whole spiel I could go into about how everyone in the family fills a certain "group" role that keeps everything balanced and running smoothly (as smooth as it can get for them). For example, Mammon is the energy of the group, the drive. Beel is the motivator, the encourager. Asmo is the dreamer, etc. Lucifer has to be the guider, the manager, the authoritarian.

While, yes on multiple occasions, he's dismissed his brother's wild antics outright, there have been so many other instances where his brothers say "I want ___" and he gives them the advice or the structure they need to accomplish it successfully. OR even ending up providing it himself should his brother's wishes be genuine (Mammon's car for example).

When he's more on his own, he can drop that uptightness completely. As we see again in Shall We Date, when they're taken to the video game world, and when he doesn't have the worries and responsibilities placed onto his shoulders, he's capable of skipping classes to take a nap on the roof. And fully enjoys it, with a smile on his face and everything.

At the very root of him, while he needs to fulfill the controlling dynamic, he does not want to. At least not completely.

I've always known this, but Nightbringer actually gave me a big confirmation boost! In Wanders Whereabouts, Barbatos gives Lucifer a video call in which he tells Lucifer about all the recent trouble the brothers have gotten themselves into. Barbatos then proceeds to let Lucifer know that as their guardian, the eldest needs to essentially work harder to keep them in line. Then Barbatos sends the damages bill to him.

If he isn't constantly keeping his siblings in line, he takes most of the blame!

And thirdly, I think you are correct, yes. I think especially with the addition of Nightbringer and the anime, a good portion of the fandom is a younger demographic, which doesn't surprise me (listen I played Mystic Messenger when I was a preteen/teen, I was there when the dark texts were written). And a lot of what appeals to that demographic is the coming-of-age, rebelling against conformity sort of story.

And, I want to repeat, my initial post that you are referring to wasn't meant to come off as a "oh everyone is so stupid thinking Lucifer is this way, you should all love him" but more of trying to explain the fullness of his character since it can be harder to spot.

Like, people in the fandom almost always completely understand Mammon. He's not just, "tough and grumbly man who steals things". He's someone who struggles with admitting his own feelings, someone who lets his ambitions blind him from the troubles they can cause, and someone who at the end of the day, loves his family more than anything. And most everyone in the fandom fully understands this.

And yet, with Lucifer, a lot of people tend to take him exactly at face value.

There's a lot of things I could explain about him needing to play a "Parental Guardian Figure" while also just being their brother at the same time, and in a lot of media where the older sibling is forced to become a guardian, they get a lot of flack for not doing it correctly.

Anyways, I could ramble on and on and on about Lucifer as a character, but I think this a good chunk of condensed thoughts. And thank you for sending this over, I always love a good Inbox ramble! Especially about my favorite grumpy, sleep-deprived man <3

[moodymisty]

Surprise

Author's Note: Loosely based off my personal experience struggles learning Spanish and Portuguese. I wanted to do something sfw to work on König's character and get a feel for things with CoD. I'll make some filth soon lol

Any German used is one or two very easily understandable words, and anything more in-depth is just implied via italics. Far easier than making an arse out of myself with Google translate because we all know how that works.

Summary: You've been studying German in secret from König for weeks now, hopefully it pays off.

Relationships: König/Fem!Reader

Warnings: I do not know German so I apologize, Fluff, Reader is implied foreigner but from where is not specified, Fluff without plot

Word Count: 2016

Closing the book in your lap you take your hands away from the pages and rub them over your face, feeling the way your eyes almost burn from overuse. Squeezing them shut helps, but it almost seems like the letters are burned into the back of your eyelids.

No more information can be shoved into my brain; Not tonight.

It's late- the sun has long since set and if you start another section, you might end up hearing the birds outside start chirping by the time you finish and go to bed. With König gone and it being the weekend you can at least sleep in, to cover up your late night of studying.

Getting up off the couch and taking your notes and textbook, they both come with you to the bedroom; Where you hide them underneath the cushion of the window seat. It was a place that he would never look, at least not without good reason.

That was part of the plan after all, for him to be surprised by all this.

As for all the time you've known König his mother tongue has remained a mystery to you, unable to understand whenever he mumbles it under his breath while fixing himself something to eat, or yelling at a door frame he hit with his shoulder or head by accident. Which happens frequently, as unfortunately the apartment isn't exactly built for a man of his size.

You’ve picked up words and small sentences over time; Maus, danke, bitte, ich liebe dich; Scheisse as well, much to König's playfully faked distress. He's always tried to refuse teaching your swears, but you've picked up on them anyways. He thinks they sound too cute to take seriously when you say them. They just make him laugh.

But none of it is enough to hold any length of conversation. König is sweet and always helps whenever you need something translated, but you know sometimes words just don't cross over one to one. Not to mention you don't want to always rely on him. So you decided to learn as much as you could, but keep it a surprise. At least for a bit. There was only so far you could get without speaking it, using it- but for now you could at least try and listen.

''Can you help me?' You stumble out in practice before sighing, slipping into your nightclothes as your bed remains unmade and calling out to you.

Could really use some of that right now.

You keep mumbling to yourself, the words floating through your head, hoping they'll stick to the image of an object or scene that follows in tandem. It's such a silly, impossible goal, but you want to impress him. You slip into bed and begin relaxing, hoping you'll be able to sleep before light starts bleeding through the curtains.

The ring of your phone however distracts you from any further thoughts, grabbing it off the bedside table where it had been charging. Only one person will call this late, and since you’re already in your nightclothes, you answer without even checking the caller id. It would just say 'Unknown' anyways, if it was him. You answer and speak up.

"Good evening. Or morning? Afternoon?"

König chuckles and even if it's hundreds or even thousands of miles away, it still makes you smile. When he's gone you usually don't hear much from him at all, so it's always a wonderful treat when he does manage to find a moment.

"Evening. The sun is just about to set." You're sure he can hear you rustling of the blankets as you pull them over your body, laying down with your phone on speaker right in front of the pillow.

"Keeping busy, Liebe?"

"As busy as I can, it's really late. Was just about to sleep." König hums, and you can hear the scratch of him rubbing his head.

"Ahh, am I keeping you up? I don't want you tired because of me." Just as you go to answer him back someone must enter the room, asking him something. You can hear the question and König's extremely curt and irritated response to it, and it's a struggle to not laugh when you realize you understood enough of it to put the pieces together.

So all this studying wasn't for nothing!

It's nice to finally see that you've been making at least some sort of stride. Once he finishes grumbling a reply at whoever had interrupted him- ignoring how cute you find it that he's so feverishly defending what tiny bit of time he has to talk to you- You answer back.

"Don't worry, I want to stay up; I miss you. I miss hearing your voice before I go to bed." You hear König let out a shy cough, rustling around. Sometimes he still gets a little bashful when you're particularly overt with how you feel about him.

"Then I will stay with you as long as I can." You know that's asking a lot of him; To even get a few moments time while he's deployed in the middle of god knows where is asking for a miracle. A damn good miracle at that.

"I miss you too, liebling."

His voice sounds so quiet when he speaks; You don't know if it's because of there being someone else in the room with him, or that he's just still not used to saying things like that.

The bed is warm and the blankets are soft, but it's still nowhere near as pleasant when König is here beside you. Neither of you have any idea how long he's going to be gone this time, but you always prepare as if it's going to be a long while. Hopefully however, it wont. You're not going to last very long without having him here with you. Just the feeling of being stuck in his arms because he's dead asleep and his grip is so strong- you miss it. You miss him kissing you on the cheek to wake you up in the mornings, and the feeling of his hand on the dip of your waist. His voice always sounds so gruff and sore in the mornings, whispering in English or German or a mix of both as he hides his face in your neck.

The sudden increase in background noise from the other side of the call jolts you out of any sort of fantasizing you were in, thankfully before it went down a path perhaps a bit more appropriate for such a late hour. König speaks up before you have a chance to ask if he needs to leave.

"I have to go; I promise I will try and find another moment to talk to again, ok?" You can hear the sudden rustling around in the background; Some of it from him, some clearly from elsewhere in the room.

He whispers again; Unsure under his breath 'I love you', the words still a bit shy and experimental on his lips. You return it quickly before the line goes dead. You have to reach a hand from under the blanket to lock your phone, staring at the lock screen for a moment.

Now the room feels almost, eerily quiet.

You turn over to set your phone down on the nightstand and turn off the last of the lights, heading to closing your eyes and trying to get some sleep.

When König returns, it's usually not without a fair share of eventfulness.

Normally he spends a day or two somewhere else first before coming back to you, which you understand; He doesn't want to bring 'that side of him' back home. Doing what he does isn’t a 9-5, and it’s not something that’s easy to leave at the front step.

After having a bit to decompress he's finally returned, having just closed the front door. He finished unlacing his combat boots and putting them beside your own shoes, as you shuffled off to get him something to drink after already tackling him. You had nearly jumped on him the moment you hear his key hit the lock, feeling him mumble a surprised but happy greeting against your lips.

Leaning over he goes to pick his pack back up off the ground to move it, but it either gets hooked on something, or the fabric finally gives. Either way the contents then spill out all over the floor, from clothing to whatever else he has stuffed inside.

"Damn it! You fucking piece of-"

The stream of swears he lets out makes you nearly winge, between about how he's going to damn the thing to Hell or set it ablaze. Either or. You try not to smile and quickly go to help him clean up the mess of his belongings that's now scattered all over the floor. You shoo his hands back a bit.

"Here, let me help, instead of you yelling about trying to set it all on fire."

König quickly stops what he was doing, and watches as you come closer. He looks confused for a moment, brow furrowed as if trying to see if you’re just being silly, or got lucky guessing what he was saying.

“...Did you understand me?” He experimentally says; As If in disbelief. You can’t help but smile and respond back.

“Are you surprised?” You cover your mouth and laugh, while cringing.

"Oh god my accent must be terrible, I haven't spoken it to anything other than the-" König bursts up from his awkward squat on the ground and wraps his arms under the crease of your bottom, lifting you off the ground. "-Wall!" Your arms wrap around his neck trying to keep yourself upright while he eagerly kisses your cheek. Over and over again, until it’s nearly red.

"Meine Liebe you sound perfect, how long have you been keeping this from me?" In any other context he probably would've been upset you were keeping secrets from him, especially big ones, but he seems too happy with the outcome to even care.

"A couple months. Long enough that I was scared you might catch me." The idea of him 'catching' you seems to make him laugh, but he still refuses to put you down.

"You made my terrible day so much better, I hope you know." He gives you another kiss this time on the lips, made easier from you being lifted to his height. Your arms snake loosely around shoulders as you giggle against his mouth, fingers tangling in his messy, soft hair. He's long since abandoned his mess on the ground at his feet, finally putting you down only to awkwardly bend over with you and kiss you again. His lips feel soft against yours and his hands cup your jaw so gently, before his lips leave yours with a soft pop.

"I hope you know you don't have to do this for me, liebling."

His eyes are tired from spending so long awake, hair messy and unkempt. You know the moment the excitement is all over he's just going to want to take a nap.

"I know, but I wanted to." You awkwardly try to hug him around the shoulders. "You're dedicated to helping me now, though." König lets out a quiet laugh.

"Of course, but can we take a nap first?" He always says we, as even though you're probably not tired in the slightest, he quietly hopes you'll join him for his own piece of mind. You help him sleep better, he confessed one night.

"Go lay down; I'll pick this all up." Listening to you he leans up to his full height and sluggishly walks off, retreating to your bedroom as you pick up his belongings. You stuff them all in the bag for him to go through himself later, before you follow and find him already face down on the mattress. He barely even bothered to change; Only his trousers are swapped to something more comfortable.

The moment you climb onto the bed with him he's trying to drag you into his arms, wrapping them tight around you and tugging you close to his body like some sort of stuffed animal. He feels so warm, your hands softly laying against his back.

You hear him mumble sleepily; Something about you being his little 'stuffed bear', before he's out like a light.

[illarian-rambling]

This has also been a long time overdue lol

Character Introduction: Elsind Cavernsight, the People's Assassin

Mashal paused only briefly. The replacement turned about, taking in the space as it set down its own bag of less-integral books. He waited until its back was to him.

Then he sprang.

There was a meaty thud as the replacement was tackled into the floor, followed by a shriek that was cut off as quickly as it came by a bronze hand over its mouth. A low grinding sound filled the room and suddenly, a sword slid from Mashal’s other wrist, his hand being shunted down an inch to make room for the slightly curved blade. He put it against the creature’s throat.

“I don’t know what you are,” Mashal hissed. He pressed the blade close, causing a single drop of purple ichor to drip down its length, rather than red blood. “But you can bleed, and all things that bleed can die. You’ve got one chance to answer me honestly and completely, wretch. What did you do with Astra?”

The creature writhed and clawed at the ground, but with his knee on its spine and his hand over its mouth, it couldn’t gain an inch. At that point Mashal realized, oh yeah, it couldn’t talk. He removed his hand.

“Answer me.” A press of the sword yielded another dribble of thin, lilac blood.

“Ja’sempon tuel Yanasi,” it choked out, voice cracking with fear. I don’t speak Janazi.

“Tesuvei lara et’hon ri?” Mashal shot back. Then what the hell were you speaking before?

The replacement froze. For a moment, Mashal was uncertain. Was it angry? Readying for an attack? But then its lip began to tremble and—in a display the face’s owner would’ve laughed at—the creature began to cry.

Steams of tears leaked from its stolen, bluejay eyes while it hiccuped pathetically. Mashal didn’t let up on keeping it pinned, however, his blade drew back an inch just from sheer shock.

“I— I knew you’d find out,” it blubbered, face going splotchy as it hid in its hands. “I didn’t want to but— but Thibault said I had to and— and— I told him I didn’t have enough. He— And now— And— And—”

The creature was so busy sobbing that it hardly noticed its attacker slowly drawing back in horror. Because as its tears dripped away, so too did its face.

Five fleshy petals unfolded from the middle of its face, bases anchored to the back of its skull, Astra’s face and hair now a cheap mask on the backs of them. Any three-dimensionality was long gone as her mouth was split in two and her eyes went glassy. On the underside of the petals was grayish-purple… meat. It reminded Mashal of nothing so much as raw meat or flayed skin, all of the individual, spiderwebbing fibers clearly visible.

In the center, where the seeds would be on a daisy, he supposed, was a smooth, featureless mask. It was made of the same, slimy, mauve matter as the underside of the petals, with only the faintest dents where eyes might have been. The dents wept, a viscous fluid seeping from inbetween the muscle fibers.

“I’m a failure,” the creature continued to sob. “This one thing? I couldn’t just get this one thing right? Gods beyond, I’m going to die here and it won’t even mean anything.”

It slumped facedown against the floor, hiccuping softly. The backs of its petal-like protrusions had now re-absorbed Astra’s face and hung limply like meaty, underwatered ferns. Mashal slowly put his sword over the back of its neck. He didn’t think it had even noticed him draw back in shock.

“Hey. You.” He prodded the sniveling creature with his foot. “What did you do with my friend?”

Its whispered answer was inaudible as it was spoken directly into the ground.

Mashal shook his head in confusion—did it even have a mouth?—before deciding on a better course of action. With one hand, he picked the creature up, holding it suspended a good foot above the ground. It was exceptionally light, even for his mechanical strength. Astra’s clothes now hung limp against the thing’s spindly build. A tail ending in similar petals as ringed its face flicked lifelessly from under her skirts.

“Talk.” He shook it once. “Where is she? The woman whose face you took.”

“You weren’t supposed to be smart,” the creature lamented, wiping its ‘face’ on the back of a three-fingered hand.

“And you ought to be smarter.” Mashal tightened his grip on the front of its blouse, enough for it to imagine clearly what it would feel like if he’d grabbed it by the neck instead. “I’m giving you one more chance before….” He glanced around. “Before I find out what sort of thing you are by way of dissection.”

Oh, that sounded psychotic, didn’t it? Gods beyond, I’m terrible at this. That was a terrible thing to say and now it's crying again.

“She— She’s alive,” the creature sniffled. “She’s…. Are you going to kill me? Make it quick if you are, please. Leave my body somewhere heroic. Don’t kill me if you don’t have to though, but I don’t know anything more. I— I promise.”

Mashal looked at the thing skeptically, then gave it another shake. “Where is she? Why’d you do this?”

“With the SLP.” It held its hand up pleadingly. “She’s with a rebel group. We— we needed an in, someone who could get close to the Archduke during the Feast of Erani to take him out. We were going to try to get our own agent hired as the Duchon’s tailor, but then, well, your friend got the job instead. She’s safe, I promise! The others said they’d take her to a storage space until I finished my mission—they won’t hurt anyone they don’t have to. And that’s all I know! I really promise this time! Are you still going to kill me?”

“I…. No.” Mashal set the creature down, brushing its stolen blouse back into place. “Wait, so you are here to assassinate the Archduke? That’s your job?”

“Don’t remind me.” It sunk down against the wall, burying its featureless face in its hands. “I’m pathetic, I know. I couldn’t even fool one person for all of twenty minutes. I’m a rotten excuse for a changeling.”

Mashal hesitated for a moment. Twenty minutes…. Closer to two seconds, but I won’t tell it that. Then, against his better judgment, he slid his vambrace sword away and sat down beside the morose, would-be assassin. Was it really possible that this all had nothing to do with Vermir’s notes or the runes they’d been stealing? That it was all an unhappy coincidence that Astra had just happened to get caught in the middle of what seemed to be a rebel cell’s plot?

“I’m not going to kill you, or hurt you at all if I don’t have to,” he promised. The changeling’s damp ‘face’ and wavering frills were bathed in white light as it looked up at him. “I’m…. I care deeply for the woman you replaced and I wasn’t sure if she was safe or not, so I apologize for my untoward words—they were born out of fear. I’m not going to dissect you. I shouldn’t have said that. What— What are you, actually?”

The assassin wiped its face. “I’m Elsind. I’m a changeling. I… kind of thought that was obvious at this point.”

Sorry for the long excerpt again lol. If you'd like to hear more about this funny little fellow, it'll be under the cut :)

Elsind is what's called a changeling. They can mimic the appearance of anyone they've seen before and, due to a lack of bones, can alternate between a solid and liquid shape. She has never met any other changelings, as her father was never in the picture and her mother was an elf. On the planet of Illaros, changelings are widely distrusted and exploited. No one knows where they come from, so superstitions abound. Additionally, since most live in hiding, most changelings will go their whole life never meeting another of their kind. This cultural understanding is important, as it has shaped Elsind's life in almost every area.

As noted above, his mother was an elf and he never knew his father. Elsind grew up in the northern, elven nation of Skysheer. Their childhood was happy, if very lonely. Elsind's mother knew great danger could befall their child if people were aware that they were a changeling, so she did her best to keep Elsind hidden from the world while also raising them in a healthy way. Elsind's best friends growing up were her dog and her mother’s books, which started a lifelong love of reading.

Things went wrong when Elsind was thirteen. At this age, they had better control over their form, so their mother let them go into town to run errands occasionally. Except, on one of these days, they slipped up. Her true form was revealed before some town guards and a day later, the lord of the land, Marquis Sunflight, swung by to claim his newest court freak.

Changeling court freaks are a common entertainment for Skysheerian nobility, and highly coveted. Elsind was kidnapped and enslaved for the next five years. They were forced into many horrible acts, including performing unwillingly as a jester, being made to drink to the point of losing their ability to keep a solid form, and sexual assault. He lived as a shadow, ever afraid to speak out or fight back for fear of even more abuse. He became, in his own words, just another broken toy of the nobility.

Elsind's luck changed when a rebel cell known as the Salis Legion of the People broke into Marquis Sunflight's mansion to steal food. The SLP's goal is to liberate the Skysheerian city of Salis, and then eventually work change across the whole nation. With Sunflight being beholden to the Archduke of Salis, his downfall was a part of the plan. Instead of reporting these rebels when she caught them in the pantry while looking for a midnight snack, Elsind begged the rebels to take her with them. They agreed, and Elsind ended up under the command and care of the SLP leaders; Thibault Blueweather and Indre.

Elsind found a new purpose with the SLP - freeing all the Skysheerian citizens who'd been abused at the hands of the nobility just like themself. Thibault and Indre trained them as a rebel at their insistence. Elsind was able to use their changeling abilities for their own ambitions for once and gained some experience in spycraft and infiltration during the two years they spent with the SLP. At the start of Mortal God book 2, they've taken on their biggest job yet - assassinating the Archduke Spearsong of Salis. But have they bitten off more than they can chew? And can their heart handle the cost that comes with taking a life?

As a person, Elsind is a kindhearted chatterbox who is both easily overwhelmed and a people pleaser, which is a combination of traits that doesn't always go well for her. He loves to read romance novels - the trashier, the better - and longs for someone to love him like a character in one of those stories. Though he sometimes seems a bit spineless (literally), Elsind has a determined heart and an incredible bravery he's all but blind to. Their primary weapon is their cunning. Elsind is a skilled spy, even if they don't enjoy lying.

Now for some fun facts!

Elsind uses they/them pronouns in their true form and whichever pronouns fit best when wearing another form. When referred to in the abstract, anything goes.

They find every face beautiful and can get overwhelmed by the masterpiece that is even the blandest of visages.

Due to some serious coaching from his mother, Elsind has never struggled with the body negativity many changelings fall prey to in human and elven societies. People might say he looks creepy, but Elsind is proud of his headfins and boneless limbs.

She is very averse to any alcohol or other mind-altering substance.

She makes friends incredibly easily and will push herself to live up to all of their expectations. In the case of the SLP, this meant agreeing to many jobs she might not have been ready for.

And just for funsies, here's some Elsind art ;)

Their skin is muave and slimy, with lilac ichor serving as blood. Technically, he's a single celled organism (I have a better explanation of all that here), so he's mostly made of water with a flexible membrane.

And with that, my characters' introductions are caught up on! As always, lmk if you have any questions and have a bitchin day :)

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[miabebe]

I Am What I Am (IV)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together. But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu × OC

Word Count - 9.9K

Warnings - guns, mild violence, mentions of blood, death, mild exhibitionism but not really lol I don't know how else to explain it but basically people think they are having sex in the bathroom?

Chapter summary - Every coin has two sides that cannot see each other but Na bi has finally seen them both. Yet, rather than the coin being tossed, it was her that was being spun between two worlds - She had to crack them before they broke her.

| Previous chapter | Masterlist |

When Na bi's eyes fluttered open, the stars stuck on her ceiling were gone.

She blinked at the plain concrete, brows slowly pulling into a frown. That can't be right. She would never remove them....

The bed under her was a lot softer too. The room felt warmer than usual, there was a strange smell of damp wood and lilies, and the crakling of a fire was the only thing audible. Rolling onto her side, Na bi raised her head, looking around, eyes slowly adjusting to the dimness. She could barely see anything except the silhouettes of furniture placed around a room - a room that was definitely much bigger than her apartment......that's when she realised, eyes widening.

She was not home.

Instantly scrambling between the black and grey sheets, she sat up, forehead breaking out into a cold sweat as she frantically looked around in the darkness. Panicking at the lack of visibility, she slipped out of the warmth of the bed, reached for the floor length curtains of the nearby windows and pushed them open, biting back a gasp.

Trees.

Thick and tall and lusciously green trees as far as the eye could see, the vibrant colour eventually blending into black shadows. Birds sat perched on branches, some flying around, circling the bark and then up into the sky. The late afternoon sun struggled to seep between the canopies, barely illuminating the forest floor that was nothing but mud and roots.

She was in the middle of nowhere. She was in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Trying not to let the realisation terrify her, Na bi took a step back and then two, finding herself in the centre of the large bedroom. Her head began to spin as she turned, looking around, eyes falling on all the contents - a king size bed against a stone wall, a fireplace burning away wood, a set of stairs leading up to what seemed like a small loft, a huge mirror beside a small study space, books lining the shelves, couches placed below them and finally, finally, a door. Finding her only way out of here, without thinking twice, Na bi sprinted towards it.

She didn't know what exactly she was expecting on the other side, but for some illogical reason, it was not a house. To be specific, it was a corridor lined with a glass railing, opening to the view of an elegant, unfathomably large living space, ominously coloured in shades of black, grey and green.

Surprisingly, Na bi nearly lost herself in the beauty of it all - the way the rugs and couches were arranged, the way it all led into a simple, efficient looking open kitchen, the way the roof was almost two floors tall and high. She stood entranced, till her wandering eyes fell on the floor to ceiling windows that spanned across the space and the view outside - the forest.

Heartbeat picking the pace again, she turned on the heel of her foot and rushed down the stairs, the edge of her long dress dramatically caressing each step. Eyes immediately finding the large oak doors at the far end, she ran towards it, pushing them open with all her might, only to be welcomed by the sight of more trees. Taking one last glace at the house behind her, she submerged herself into the woods, trying to run away as far as possible.

And Na bi ran for what seemed like forever.

She had no idea what she was running from or where she was running to, but for miles, all that was around her were trees, trees and more trees. She tried screaming for help but it only dried her throat up. Her bare feet were now a collage of mud and twigs lodged in her soles, her dress formed a shredded trial behind her as they got ripped by the bushes and her whole body was cold and sore, begging for relief, for an escape. It was only when she could no longer breathe that she finally stopped running, panting as she gripped the sides of her hips, looking up at the barely visible sky, praying.

For what Na bi?

All of a sudden, as though her dormant brain had just woken up, Na bi compelled herself to think about what she was doing. As though her body was stuck in a flight response, she had just been running and running, without so much as trying to figure out why. Ignoring the searing pain in her head, she racked her brains, trying to recall the last of her memories. She remembered going to the grocery store today. She remembered being chased down an alley. She remembered the phone call. She remembered a black van....

Na bi took mindless steps, wandering further into the forest. That black van, where had she seen that before? Why did it seem so familiar?

She didn't ponder over it for long - she couldn’t when her ears caught the sound of water. Desperate for hydration, she ran in its direction, pushing her way through the forest floor, feeling the mud get looser beneath her feet and the air get cooler, stronger. As she made her way out of the last of the branches, her feet landed in the soft golden-white sand of the beach, eyes falling on the gentle waves going to and fro from the shore.

Na bi felt every cell of her body freeze. It was a beach.

She was standing right in the middle of a beach that stretched endlessly on either sides, curving away at the corners. She was standing right in front of the sea coming up to lick the sand one minute and going back to meet the sky the next. She was standing right in the middle of possibly the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen - the sun slowly making its way across the pink sky to sink into the waters for night. It was all so mesemering and stunning except..... Seoul didn't have a beach.

It was at that moment that she felt her head spin uncontrollably and before she knew it, she was one with the softness of the sand. Staring at the clear blue sky, hair fanning out behind her, dress blending into the golden sand, her eyes slowly found the darkness she was running away from.

When Na bi's eyes fluttered open, the stars stuck on her ceiling were gone. Again.

She stared at it, wondering if she was stuck in some strange time loop - she had the same pain in her head, felt the same softness of the bed, saw the same greyness in the ceiling. But one thing was different this time - this time she smelt whiskey and roses.

Raising herself on her elbows, she blinked her heavy eyes open, which didn't have to struggle to adjust, not with the all lamps turned on. The curtains were open as she had left them, except it was pitch black outside, like night had finally fallen. Pushing the thick duvet off her, she swung her legs off the bed, wincing in pain as they touched the wooden floors. She looked down at her feet to see they were no longer covered in mud and sand but had white bandages wrapped around, the execution of which was honestly-

"Mediocre at best, I know."

Na bi turned at his voice, eyes falling on his broad back as he sat crouched by the fireplace, poking the firewood ambers. His presence didn't surprise her. The whiskey and rose scent had already told her he was here.

"It can be better." She muttered as he stood, brushing the ash off his hands and tucking them in his pocket as he turned towards her.

"Ms. Baek."

"Changkyun."

She breathed in the sight of him yet again.

He was dressed in a black shirt, black slacks, matching the ambience of the room. His hair was falling down into his eyes like he needed a little trim, his face beautiful as ever. Na bi gripped the sheets hard, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. He walked up to the bed, getting on a knee before her, picking up her foot as he studied it, his fingers softly running across the sole. He then reached for a box she hadn't noticed by the wall and slid it onto her lap, opening it to reveal a pair of white sneakers.

"For whenever you wish to leave."

Na bi looked down at the new shoes that seemed to be exactly her size.

"How did I even get here?" She glanced at him who seemed to be inspecting the other tiny cuts and bruises she sustained on her arms, thanks to the multiple twigs and thorns in her way. "Where am I?"

"In my house."

Na bi blinked at him, shocked. "Y-your house? This is your house?? This is where you live??"

"Yes, yes and yes." He answered, counting diligently, as he got up and walked to the shelves.

"It's...." Na bi followed him, stopping at the centre of the room, taking it all in once again. Earlier she had missed the many details of the room - the tiny gold accents hidden everywhere, the splashes of green amidst the heavy tones of black and grey, the random placement of tiny tables and books and empty vases here and there. She didn't realise how minimal yet luxurious the whole place looked, strangely homely yet forbidding. Na bi was never really a fan of dark colors but somehow, she wasn't so repelled by the sight around her. "It's so beautiful."

"Thank you." Walking up to her, Changkyun held out an ointment, looking pointedly at her wounds. "Apply this twice everyday to avoid scarring. My doctor strongly recommends it."

Na bi took it, turning the tube in her fingers, recognising the medicine approvingly before raising her eyebrows. "You have a doctor who's not me?"

He chuckled, cocking his head. "I need someone who'll be by my side till the end. You're not going to, are you?"

Na bi felt her heartbeat in her ears. His question seemed to holder a greater depth than he meant, yet his eyes as usual, remained unreadable. But she had her answer. Stepping closer to him, she grabbed fistfuls of the fabric of his shirt on either sides of his waist, earning a curious look, but he didn't stop her.

She pulled the tuck out of his pants, dragging the shirt up his body, ignoring his sculpted abs as she moved closer to him, breaths mingling in the loud silence, gaze fixed on each other. When she finally tore her eyes away, she looked over his shoulder at the mirror behind him, catching sight of the knife wound she had once tried to heal. It looked better, but definitely not at its best.

"You're not going to make it till the end without someone like me." She pulled back, hands slowly letting the fabric go, eyes meeting his again. "I would've done a much better job."

"I don't doubt that." He replied, stepping away, but not taking his eyes off.

"Is that why I'm here?"

He shook his head, amused. "You sustained a mild concussion earlier today Ms. Baek. Clearly, its affecting your otherwise impeccable analytical abilities."  He smoothened the fabric of his shirt slowly. "Let's start over. What is the last thing you remember? Before you got here this afetrnoon?"

Na bi stared at the dark wooden flooring, trying to recollect the scene once again.

"I was coming back from the grocery store when I had this strange gut feeling that I was being followed. I looked around and there was no one, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was being watched. I started walking faster, then I noticed footsteps getting louder behind me so I began running and suddenly about 5 to 6 men appeared, chasing me down the alley. I tried to call the 112 for help and I was around a corner when a black van stopped right before me and pulled me in...." Na bi trailed off finally piecing it together. Of course. "Wonho. It was Wonho's van." She sighed, rubbing the spot on her head that she had knocked against the door when she was forced in. "So I've been kidnapped yet again."

Changkyun let out a small laugh, walking away from her to the table, pouring a glass of water. "You've been rescued yet again Ms. Baek."

Na bi blinked. "From whom?"

"I'm guessing the same people who attacked me." He walked back, handing her the glass. "It seems you too have been compromised."

"But.... but I thought it was all over?" She took the glass from him, frowning hard. "I thought they didn't need me anymore since they already found you."

"Figured me, yes. Found me? No." He glanced at the darkness outside the windows, turning to it. "Perhaps they were trying to get a hold of you so they could bait me into coming out of hiding."

"You think they wanted to get to you through me?" She scoffed, taking a sip. "Why? What could I possibly mean to you?"

"I believe they've identified you as someone I care about."

Na bi looked at Changkyun in the reflection of the windows only to find him already looking at her. Someone he cared about.

She cleared her throat, looking away. "So you're telling me they might know who I am, where I live, all of it?"

He hummed in response, nodding.

Na bi cursed under her breath, downing the last of the water. "So what do I do now? How am I supposed to go back home? That place isn’t safe for me anymore."

"I can have more men stationed around for your safety." Changkyun offered, taking the empty glass from her. "They can guard your house, even accompany you when needed-"

"I've seen what these people are capable of doing Changkyun, to both you and your men." Na bi placed herself between him and his reflection. "I may not be particularly afraid of dying but I sure as hell am not willing to lose my life over something this insignificant to me. There has to be a better option."

She could see the way his jaw tightened, hand gripping the empty glass tight.

"The safest place for you now is probably right here, in my house but I can't possibly ask you to stay."

Na bi swallowed the phantom lump in her throat. "Why?"

"Ms. Baek, my house is no better than a prison, if you can't already tell." He looked over her shoulder pointedly. "There's no life here - it's quiet and dark and lonely. Don't be fooled by the magnificence of the things around you. This place can, quite literally, be hell."

Na bi stared at him, once again failing to read his expression. Hell?

"But you live here."

He nodded.

"Then I can too."

"Despite seeing what's out there?" His head inclined curiously. "That was just the beginning-"

"Doesn't matter what's out there or in here." Na bi curled her hands into tight fists. "Right now all I know is that if I want to be safe, this is my best choice, you're my best choice. I can't trust anyone else."

"Can you trust me?" He smiled at her cockily. "I thought you had no reason to."

Na bi felt her heart thumping in her chest. She didn't have a reason. Not a single one.

"I'll..... take my chances." She drawled slowly, looking at him side eyed. "Unless you don't want me to stay..."

"Then I wouldn't have offered."

"Right." Na bi let out a deep breath, looking around. "So I guess..... I guess I'll be staying here then, till you sort things out."

Changkyun gave a single nod.

"I'll need some of my things though..."

"Whatever you need will be arranged."

"And uh... should I stay here? In this room or?"

"If its to your liking." He slipped his free hand into his pocket. "There's another guest room down the corridor if you're not comfortable here."

"No no, I think I'm fine. I don't mind...."

She trailed off into a loud silence. A few days ago, she didn't know if she would ever see him again and now suddenly, she was living with him, in his house? Oddly, it was all aligning too well, too easily.

As she tried to navigate through the silence, she watched him, also at a loss of words. What was going on in his head?

"I have to go Ms. Baek. I'm-"

"Y- you're going?" Na bi stuttered. "Oh I....I just wanted to ask if-"

"In due time." He promised, walking back to the door. "You need rest and I have business to attend to."

"I know, but I was just wondering if....." She took hurried steps towards him, halting abruptly as she caught her reflection in the mirror, her question drying up in her throat. That floor length, flowery dress was most definitely not her style. Or even her dress. "Did you.... did you change my clothes?"

Changkyun smiled at her, amused. "There's a lot you're yet to learn about the this place Ms. Baek." He raised the empty glass at her mimicking a toast. "Welcome to Asphodel."

And with that he shut the door behind him and disappeared.

Na bi shut her eyes as the warm water of the shower ran down her body, taking away all the mud, sweat and tears.

She was crying.

The moment she stepped into the shower, unwarranted, tears just began flowing down her cheeks. She wasn't particularly upset or sad or hurt by anything, just.... tired. Tired of it all. Tired of always running, tired of never being allowed to stop, tired of never being able to take a breath in peace. Everything had barely just fallen into place and she was already exhausted.

Scrubbing a very sweetly scented soap down her body, she cleaned herself, wondering if it will truly wash away all that was dirty about her. She didn't like anything about the way things had turned out. She didn't like Changkyun walking back into her life again. She didn't like having to stay in his house. She didn't like any part of what she was about to do. But with a mask on her face, she pushed through it, knowing why it was necessary to.

When she opened her eyes, everything around her spun again and her empty stomach attempted to throw up nothing. She needed to get over this concussion as soon as possible so she could function at her best again. She needed to get it together.

Wrapping a towel around her body, she vigorously rubbed another one into her wet hair, catching sight of her reflection in the large mirror above the sink. She looked worse now that she was cleaner - the dark circles stood out more, her eyes were swollen and empty, cheeks sinking into her face. Leaning forward onto the ledge of the sink she stared at herself, whispering.

"Get it together Na bi. You need to get it together."

Knowing she had no other clothes in this house, she settled on wearing the same long dress again, wondering who's it was. If she wasn't wrong, she hadn't woken up in this dress the first time. She was definitely wearing something red - she remembered catching sight of it in the reflections of the windows and in the pieces that lay torn on the forest floor. This dress didn't have a single rip on it, it wasn't the same.

The walk in closet beside the bathroom wasn't the same either. When Na bi went past it about half an hour ago, she was certain it was empty but looking at it now, her jaw dropped. Every shelf was full. There were dresses, pants, blouses, all kinds of footwear, bags, accessories, and in the drawers, even neatly folded innerwear. That wasn't even the surprising part - it was the fact that nearly everything in here was blue. There were a hundred different shades of it splayed before her, some light, some dark, some patterned, but all of them were most definitely blue. He still remembered.

Na bi felt her lips involuntarily curl into a small smile as she walked in slowly, getting a closer look of it all. It wasn't all her style and every piece looked new, like the kind who's price tag carried a number way too big. On the ottomon, there were more things laid out for her use - a neatly folded nightgown, a fresh set of white bandages, and a bottle of shea butter body lotion, the only scent she ever used. He....noticed?

Her smile slipped away from her as his words rang in her ears. I believe they've identified you as someone I care about. Everything in this space was a testament of that. But why on earth did he care about her? How did he manage to arrange for whatever she needed and so much more? Why did he even bother?

Ignoring the bandages and lotion, she grabbed the nightgown and changed into it, taking one last look at herself in the floor length mirror, sighing, reminding herself yet again.

"Get yourself together Na bi."

When she walked down the stairs of the loft, back into the room, the smell made her insides turn ravenously. On the table was a plate of hot kimchi rice, the scent so alluring, that the moment she laid her eyes on it, she rushed to devour it, not caring for the way it burned her mouth. Breathing in relief as life flooded back into her, she sank onto the couch nearby, chomping away on the unbelievably delicious meal. Glancing at the clock, she realised this was her first meal in over 24 hours - her day had been a whirlwind for a while now.

Everything was supposed to end 10 days ago. Changkyun was gone, the threat on her life was gone, the whole fiasco was over. All that she was left to deal with was her idiotic month long suspension.

At first Na bi was furious about it - it was unfair, illogical and no one was even willing to listen to her side of the story. But eventually, she got around it - afterall, she was finally getting a break. She had the time to spend on herself, to catch up on those shows she stopped watching years ago, to make her home a more habitable place, perhaps even shift to a nicer neighbourhood, closer to the hospital. She could now try to learn making something other than the damn kimbap, she could peacefully listen to her favourite artists, she could maybe date once again.

Na bi's throat tightened as she thought of Mingyu. Following her suspension, he had been the sweetest person possible, constantly checking up on her, making sure she was doing fine, even cheering her up with a handmade pretty bracelet of butterflies that was now missing from her hand. Na bi felt like she was finally finding solace in a decent, appropriate person, even looking forward to going out with him, curious to learn more about him. It was on her fourth date with him that things changed. Forever and for good.

They had gone to his favourite pizza place just the day before for what he called the best pizza in the world. Na bi had to agree, it was truly better than any pizza she had before. In fact, it was so good and she had focused on gobbling it down so fast, she barely remembered the conversation he was trying to have with her. Now they were out at her favourite restaurant, an Indian place in the middle of the city and as usual, the food was absolutely delicious.

Na bi wasn't a huge fan of cocktails, and considering they had quite a lot of beer just the day before, she straight up refused the drink Mingyu ordered for them. He insisted, asking her to just try it once and to her surprise, it wasn't too bad. In fact, it was nice enough for her to finish a whole glass in one gulp, making her head immediately spin. As she tried to pull herself together and stared at Mingyu who turned to order another glass..... everything clicked into place. Everything finally made sense.

Mingyu. Police officer Kim Mingyu. The seemingly sweet, innocent Kim Mingyu who was handing her another drink. A drink that tasted the same the night she first met him, the night she first went out with him, and every night he insisted she drink with him.

Third time is fate Dr. Baek.

"Mingyu."

He looked at her, eyes innocently big, features molded in question.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah sure, is something wrong? Are you-"

"Not here." She got up, nearly toppling her chair as she began walking away. Mingyu looked confused till he saw her head towards the washrooms, his expression changing as he followed. Hesitating, he stepped into the ladies room where she had disappeared into.

"Na bi, I shouldn't-"

He choked to a stop as his eyes fell on her standing right in the middle, sliding her thong down her legs from underneath her dress. Ignoring his absolutely stunned expression, she walked past him, hanging it on the handle of the door as a very evident symbol of what was about to happen inside and shut it. Mingyu watched as she walked back, softly brushing against his shoulder and slid onto the granite counter of the sink, beckoning him closer. Mingyu took a wavering step towards her.

"You wanna do it here?......"

His words drowned out as she pulled him by the collar, smashing her lips onto his, making him groan against it. At first he didn't respond, holding himself back from causing a scene in a very inappropriate place but when she softly bit his lower lip, Mingyu couldn't stop himself anymore. Running his hands up her thighs under the dress, he gripped them hard, pulling her closer, right against his chest, wrapping her legs against his waist as his tongue slipped into her mouth.

They had kissed after their dates, in the car, on the streets but it was nothing like this. She hadn't felt him like this since that night in the bar. The thought of their first meeting twisted something inside her guts. How did she not realise? There was no such thing as a coincidence, eveything happened for a reason.

Moaning against her skin, Mingyu moved down her jaw, latching himself against her neck. Na bi let her hands wander down his chest, trailing them to his back, finally, finally getting hold of what she wanted.

The look on Mingyu's face was of pure betrayal when he stepped back realising what had happened - when his eyes fell on the gun in her hands, the one she just pulled out of his holster. Na bi looked at it before looking up at him, face looking equally betrayed.

"Na bi, that's dangerous. It could-"

"I'm not an idiot Mingyu, I know what a gun does." She caressed it carefully before raising it, pointing right at his chest, making him flinch. "I, however, don't know what you do, which makes you more dangerous."

Mingyu frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

"I was a fool to not see beyond your sweet little boy act." She cocked her head at him. "You've been drugging me."

His Adams apple shifted as a drop of sweat rolled down his neck.

"That's not true."

"I know my tolerance Mingyu. I know what alcohol does to me, I know how much I can handle. Yet every time I had a drink with you, things just did not go right. I had less control over myself, my actions were more impulsive," She recalled that night she kissed Changkyun - it was the first night she met Mingyu. That night, when she had that ridiculous dream about him, that was also after meeting Mingyu. "I thought I was losing it. Turns out its been you all along."

Mingyu exhaled, defeated. "I can explain-"

"You can explain drugging me?" She looked at him incredulously. All this while she had only suspected but his attempt to clarify confirmed it. "Mingyu, aren't you a cop? How could you-"

"I'm not."

Na bi felt fear grip her throat. Mingyu ran his hands through his hair, kicking wall behind him frustrated, making her flinch and grip the gun in her hand tighter.

"But you came to the ER that day. You were wearing a uniform....."

"I am a cop, but not really. I....." He looked at the gun still pointed to him and pulled out a badge from his pocket. "I'm a member of the NIS, National Intelligence Service of Korea and I've been working undercover as a cop because I'm on a mission. A mission to get Seoul's infamous, or rather I should say, barely known mastermind," He walked up to her, eyes surprisingly narrowing in accusation. "I.M."

If Na bi wasn't already sitting, she was certain she would have felt the ground slip beneath her feet. Changkyun? Mingyu was looking for Chankgyun. Through her.

"Who-"

"You can drop the act Na bi, I'm aware that you know him." He leaned closer. "I know a lot more than you think."

Na bi stared at him, speechless.

"I was hoping everyone was wrong. I was hoping that you were not one of them. I really hoped...." Mingyu stared at the gun in her hands. "Perhaps I was wrong."

"What do you mean?" Na bi felt her ears turn hot, as panic rose in her and she finally lowered the weapon. "You think.... you think I'm with him?"

"You did side with a criminal-"

"I did not side with anyone."

"Did you not let his men escape from the hospital?"

"No! God, no, I had nothing to do with that-"

"Did you not let him hide in your house?" Na bi's mouth hung open, unable to say anything. "Did you not let him safely leave from there?"

"You're reading everything wrong." She slid off the surface, when Mingyu moved away from, like her inability to give any answer had given him all his answers. "It's not like that-"

"Did he or not stay in your house?"

"He was injured. He came to me bleeding, I gave him a few stitches." She looked at him desperately. "I'm a doctor Mingyu, I just did my job-"

"Why didn't you call the cops?"

That was a question many people had asked her. Changkyun, Seokmin, she herself and now Mingyu. Every time she didn't really have a valid answer.

"He was right there, he would know!" She justified, covering up her actions. "My life would be in danger. I'm sorry I wasn't able to think beyond myself-"

"Is that the only reason?" Mingyu neared her, making her take a scared step back. "Not because you're working for him?"

"No!" Na bi looked at him incredulously. "Of course not. Why would you even-"

"We found bullets in your house Na bi." He clenched his jaw. "In the kitchen drawer. There were bullets that belong to the make of a gun that, forget legal, is not even found in this country-"

"You searched my house? How could you-"

"You were helping a criminal!" Mingyu raised his voice, the sharp sound of it nothing like she had ever heard before. "You chose to protect him, a man who's responsible for what happened to your friend. You chose to-"

"My friend?" Na bi's eyes widened. "You... you know about Ana?"

Mingyu leaned against the door of the stall behind him. "Ana was the reason it all started."

He took a shaky breath, taking his phone out, scrolling through it, before holding it up. "She's dead."

The moment her eyes fell on the image, Na bi instantly felt everything in her stomach violently turn. It was her. It was Ana lying on the ground, lifeless, blood all around, her wrists slit. Both of them.

Na bi leaned against the wall behind, to stop her knees from giving away.

"When....when did that happen?" Her voice barely left her. "What happened?"

"The day after our second date." Mingyu recalled. My men have found lead on Ana. "It was I.M."

"No." Na bi whispered. I will do what I can. "How can it be him, he promised-"

"And he's the epitome of goodness so of course he'd stand by it, right?" Mingyu looked at her scoffing. "You see that, the slits on both her wrists? I'm sure you're not unfamiliar with that in the ER. That's his signature, Na bi. That's how he kills, by letting his prey slowly bleed to death. That's how Tartarus functions."

Na bi frowned, confused and overwhelmed. "What's Tartarus?"

Mingyu raised an eyebrow. "You don't know Tartarus?"

Na bi swallowed the bile rising in her throat again, feeling anger course through her veins. "For the last fucking time, I don't know a damn thing. I don't know anything because I have no part to play in any of this. Why won't you believe me?"

Mingyu stared at her in thought for a bit before he continued. "Tartarus is I.M's secret organisation, made of criminals, assassin's, fighters and many others. They wreck havoc in the city to get what they want and if they don't, then they kill, using their signature move to send a message." Mingyu sighed, "Tartarus used to be run by the Blackjack before he was taken down in the WipeOut. We assumed after his death the organisation would have crumbled but it seems to have shifted to a new leader and is operating more ruthlessly and more efficiently from the shadows." Mingyu stared at himself in the mirror, his voice strained with anger. "They've been showing us hell for years now and we barely know anything about them - who I.M is, how to identify the people working for him, where they operate from, what-"

"Ana knew." Na bi whispered softly. "Ana knew who he is. She knew where to find him."

Mingyu frowned at her. "How would Ana know?"

"I don't know. He doesn't either. He said he wanted to find her so he could ask her himself. He said he had a lead on her location that night but...."

"Perhaps he's gotten the answers he wanted" Mingyu mulled. "and then got rid of her, now that she's of no use-"

"Don't talk about her like that-"

"You're mad at me? What about the man who actually-"

"I know!" Na bi slammed the granite. A violent desire to claw out her own skin ran through her body. She saved a murderer. If she hadn't perhaps Ana would still be alive. Perhaps she would've been okay. It was all her fault.

"How did you...." She looked up at the man before her. "I need you to start from the beginning Mingyu. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Minyu held out his hand slowly. "Give me the gun and we'll talk."

She looked at him disbelief. "You really think I'm with him?"

"I don't, I want to believe you're innocent because my gut says so. I've been waiting to hear your side of the story, I promise but, " He sighs. ".... please, let's just put the gun aside."

Na bi shook her head. "I've had enough placing blind trust in people. The gun stays with me. Either you talk or I use it." She raised it, pointing at his chest once more. "And don't doubt it, I know how to."

Mingyu stayed silent, staring at her like he was weighing his odds.

"A few weeks ago, a missing report for Ana was filed at a local police station." He started. "When the cops investigated, they felt her disappearance was suspicious so they sent the case to us. Most cases that disappear for too long tend to be linked to I.M and usually, we either find them dead or our investigation reaches a dead end. As usual, without much hope, we began investigating on our own, following her trail when one day, surveillance noticed a woman broke into her house." Mingyu looked at her pointedly. "You."

Na bi frowned at him. "Those people in her house that day were....you guys?"

Mingyu nodded. "Local police. We had them keep the house under observation, as a part of protocol. Usually it doesn't lead to anything significant but that day, we saw you. More suspiciously, as we tried to go after you, you were picked up and rescued in a flash, making us wonder how you might be involved in all this."

Stupid Wonho and his stupid black van.

"We found your fingerprints on the closet and managed to identify you on our database. We wanted to get a hold of you first without making a legal scene, just to verify facts before taking any action but you were guarded 24/7. There were people who always had their eye on you, who were always looking out for you, it was nearly impossible. We couldn't approach you as investigators and that's why I met you in the bar."

Mingyu looked at her guiltily.

"There's a serum being developed by the R&D team at the NIS. It's still in its trial stage but it supposedly has the ability to selectively depress the nervous system, allowing people to lower their inhibitions and be more...." Mingyu swallowed, speaking faster. "...willing to speak, willing to tell the truth. We wanted to extract information from you with that but that night, you ran away."

Na bi recalled the events that followed their first meeting. She had shot a man. She had barged into Changkyun's hideout. She had thrown herself at him like he was all she wanted. God.

"The next day the ER escape incident happened and our suspicions that you were tied with I.M were confirmed." Na bi opened her mouth in protest but Mingyu continued. "I know you said you have nothing to do with it but there were too many things pointing at you. We also knew that he was out there somewhere, unguarded and perhaps injured in the same fight as his men but the very next night, we received intel that he had gone back into hiding. That was on the night of our second date where I gave you the serum again. The night you tested my knowledge about the mafia. The night you didn't let me in your house."

Na bi shook her head, sighing in defeat. Everything was perfectly fitting a very, very inaccurate picture.

"Since that day, we established that you were one of his people and that we probably couldn't get any information from you directly. The plan was that I would continue to pursue you and given your suspension, we'd have both time and a sympathy factor to get closer and I would be able to find out more about I.M but here we are...."

"How convenient for you, that my suspension would align so well...." Mingyus face continued to look guilty and Na bi felt her ears grow hot. "You had me suspended."

"It was my team leaders doing." He confessed immediately. "I swear, I didn't know that was the plan...."

Na bi felt a pure, unadulterated desire to put a bullet through him and everyone who had walked into her life the last few weeks. She had become a joke, a toy for everyone to play around with, to use as they wished. If there was no knocking on the door, her anger would have perhaps started her mass elimination with Mingyu.

"Five minutes!"

"Miss, I'm afraid this is not allowed-"

Na bi walked up to Mingyu, and harshly stepped on his foot, her heel bruising the middle of his foot and covered his mouth, turning his loud shrieks of pain into muffled groans. The person on the other side of the door instantly shut up.

"Five. minutes." She repeated as Mingyu looked at her, hurting. She didn't feel sorry. It was his stupid low inhibition, truth telling serums fault.

"Now," She removed her hand and stood back, as he straightened himself, wincing. "Let me tell you the truth."

And Na bi told him everything. Her accidental kidnapping, her being set free, her being stalked, revisiting Changkyun, him coming home, him leaving to find Ana. Everything. Everything except his name. That sounded like venom in her mouth, she couldn't bring herself to even say it.

"That can't be right." Thankfully, Mingyu spoke only after she was done. "He kidnapped you accidentally, then let you go. You went to Ana's house and he let you go. You revisited him at his hide out and he still let you go? He even came to you when he was in danger? For your help?"

"I told you, he was using me as bait so I was his safest choice. And apparently using me has become a very common mode of action these days-"

"Na bi, Tartarus is a massive underground organisation of hundreds of people. They lack humanity, they have no regard for rules, and they are in every inch of the city. Are you telling me a man with all that in his disposal, needed your help?" She blinked at him, lost in thought. "He's one of the most powerful people out there, even if there was a threat to him or he was in danger, trust me, eliminating it is not hard. There's clearly something else he wants...."

Though Na bi had an idea where Mingyu was going with this, she still asked. "What?"

"You." Mingyu stated like it was the most obvious thing on the planet. "All this while we wondered why I.M would choose someone like you to be on his side, now it makes sense. He likes-"

"Stop, stop, that's not possible." That night they were making out, Chankgyun stopped her. Everytime they looked at each other, he never seemed like he wanted more. Everytime she felt the slightest of sparks between them, he would always pull away. Changkyun was definitely not interested in her. "Trust me, I'd know if he felt like that."

"Think about it. Saving you so many times, having his men look out for you, opening up to you, listening to what you say, that's... that's a man who's interested." Mingyu stared at the design on the floor, brain working fast. "His world is different Na bi. Its not as simple as yours or mine. I think he was testing you, seeing if you'd actually be able to fit in his life and you do. Not only did you throw yourself at him-" Na bi winced at the choice of words. "-proving that you too were interested, you also saved his life and you let him escape. You're exactly what he's looking for." Mingyu looked at her, a strange something brewing behind his eyes. "And we have to make use of that."

If Na bi heard the word use another time from anyone's mouth, she swore, she would put a bullet through them.

"You said you're not on I.M's side right? That you were just trying to save yourself and not protect him?" Mingyu looked at her eagerly and she nodded. "Then prove it. Help us. Come on our side and help us take him down-"

"No." Na bi stared at Mingyu like he was insane. "None of this is my business, I was never supposed to be involved in any of this in the first place. I've barely gotten out of all this alive, if he even gets the slightest clue that I might be helping you, he'd have me killed-"

"How about for once," And the next set of word were too harsh for Na bi to even hear. "Just once, you think about someone other than yourself? Do you know how many lives you can save if he's gone-"

"That's not fair." She said softly. "I am in this mess because I cared about Ana. I am in this mess because I cared enough to save a dying man despite knowing he was not a good person. You're taking to me about saving lives? I'm a doctor Mingyu, I do that anyways."

"Then do it for Ana." His eyes looked softer now, almost like they were begging. "Don't you want justice for her? Don't you want to punish those who did that to her?"

Na bi felt her heart thumping in her chest.

"Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you too have feelings for him-"

"What is wrong with you Mingyu-"

"You did admit to being attracted to him-"

"Attraction is temporary, fickle feeling. It's barely something you allow to cloud your judgement. " Na bi looked at him incredulously. "I don't know the man, I don't have any feelings for him, I never can." Disgust rose in her chest at the memory of Ana's lifeless body. "Not with someone like that. Just beacuse I couldn't keep it in my pants on a night that, let me remind you, you drugged me, it doesn't mean-"

"The serum only lowers inhibitions Na bi," Mingyu reminded her. "The choices are still yours."

"It was merely a primal response of a woman to a man." Na bi crossed her arms decisively. "But I am an evolved being Mingyu, I can differentiate between what's right and wrong."

"Then you'd know it's right to side with me." He moved closer to her. "That you should pick my side of this fight."

Na bi stared at Mingyu thinking about the last few days of her life. She was at the edge of a rabbit hole and if she let herself fall, there was no way out. No way back. She didn't want to get trapped again. She really didn't.

A sudden knocking frightened them both, making them jump in their skin, turning to the door.

"Sir, I'm afraid if you don't come out, we're going to have to call the cops."

Na bi sighed annoyed and finally handed Mingyu his gun which he immediately stashed away. She turned to the mirror, haphazardly arranging her fringes and smudged her lipstick at the corners, looking at his reflection.

"Would you rather people assume we had sex or have them find out that man from NIS, at gunpoint, confessed to drugging and violating the privacy of an innocent woman's life?"

Mingyu immediately unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and ran his hands through his hair, neatly messing it. Giving him an approving nod, Na bi went over and opened the door to a bunch of waiters, security guards and a suited man.

"Ma'am, I must tell you-"

"We're done and we're going."

Na bi brushed them away, grabbing her underwear from the handle and tucked it in Mingyu's back pocket, widening everyone's eyes as she walked away. Mingyu followed, muttering a bunch of apologies, joining her as she stood by the empty road, looking down it.

"I think we are banned from ever coming back here." Mingyu looked over his shoulder at the manager angrily shutting the restaurant door behind them. "I'm sorry, you said it was your favorite-"

"There's a lot more things you should be sorry about that I've not heard an apology for."

"Na bi, I really am sorry, for everything. I was just doing my job." Mingyu insisted. "You know what's that like."

Na bi stared at the far end of the one way street.

"So will you help us?" He eyed her from the side. "Please, just think about it-"

"Help you how?"

"We'll figure that out. As long as you say you'll help, I'll talk to Jihoon. I'll convince him that your innocent and we'll formulate a plan. I just need you to assure me you'll help."

He looked at her so expectantly, though Na bi didn't owe him anything. But she did owe one person.

"For Ana." She turned to him. "Only for her. Only because I want answers for her."

The relief on Mingyus face was like no other. He immediately fished for his phone, mumbling a bunch of things under his breath. Na bi didn't care enough to hear - she had enough for the day.

When the cab approached, she flagged it down and got in without so much as looking at Mingyu. That was the second last time she saw him.

The last time she saw him was about five days ago, at the Chinese place downtown who's address Mingyu had texted her. The moment she asked for him at the counter, they led her to the "special seating in the basement" which turned out to be a long corridor of doors, ending at a storeroom fermenting wines of various kinds.

The table in the centre was illuminated by a dull lamp throwing light on all the papers and maps and laptops lying askew. Men in black jackets stood around it whispering in hushed voices, while the men in green stood in the shadows behind, holding their rifles agaisnt their chest. Na bi felt something cold trickle down her neck.

"Lover boy, your girl made it."

She turned to a man just about her height, walking past her to stand next to Mingyu, who she had just noticed. The bigger man flashed her his usual canine smile which she did not return. She wasn't here to exchange pleasantries.

"What is this place?"

"NIS special operations office." Mingyu answered, approaching her. "One of many. This is the branch we use for-"

"Sure, why don't you tell her the exact coordinates of all our other operative locations too?" The shorter man began flipping through the files before him, barely looking at her. The hostility towards her was not hidden.

Mingyu flushed, looking embarrassed. "That's Jihoon, team leader." He whispered. "That's just the way he speaks. He's a bit-"

"Bit of an ass." Na bi completed loudly for him, getting Jihoon to finally look at her.

"You have quite some nerve." He crossed his arms, anger evident in his voice. "I see why I.M would pick you."

Na bi rolled her eyes turning to Mingyu. "I'm not sure why I'm trying to help if your all-knowing team leader doesn't even trust me."

"Trust is earned Dr. Baek."

"Like you tried to earn mine by spiking my drinks every chance you got?" She raised an eyebrow at Jihoon. "Or by having me suspended for no damn reason?"

Jihoon was just about to retaliate when Mingyu stepped up, concerned. "Jihoon, I trust her. Her side of the story aligns, it makes sense. You said you trust my judgement." Jihoon rolled his eyes, turning back to his files. "Na bi, please give him time. We've been seeing you as an enemy for days. It's not easy to accept you on the other side of the fight." Na bi stared at the unbothered man before her and nodded unwillingly.

"Let's make this short and quick." Jihoon pulled up a chair before her, sitting with a manspread. "You can start with telling us everything you know about I.M"

Na bi stared at him angrily as Mingyu pulled up another chair for her and hurried to diffuse the situation.

"Jihoon, she doesn't know anything about him."

"She's met him, is there really nothing of value she can offer?" Jihoon leaned, interlocking his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "As far as we know, you're the only one who's ever seen him, Ms. Baek."

"Dr. Baek." Na bi corrected, deeply disliking the way he spoke to her. "I can describe how he looks, how vivid is your imagination on a scale of 1 to 10?"

"Save the smart talk for the sketch artist Dr. Baek." Jihoon scoffed. "We should arrange for one by next week. In the meantime, you can enlighten me about some other details, any clues that might help."

Na bi sunk into her chair, gathering her thoughts. She didn't really know that much about Changkyun. He had a lighter that be never seemed to part with, he smelt like whiskey and roses, he could tell if a gun was loaded by its weight, he wasn't a picky eater, and he was good at doing dishes. That was about the depth of her knowledge, none of which were helpful.

"I uh know the address of the warehouse that I was taken to the first time I was kidnapped."

"They might have abandoned it once you rediscovered them." Mingyu pondered.

"Yeah.. but you might find some clues there?"

"They wiped a whole hospital clean of their existence." Jihoon added. "You think a warehouse would be spared?"

"There's no harm in trying." She gritted between her teeth.

Sighing, Jihoon handed her a notepad and a pen, allowing her to scribble the location down. One of the men in black walked up and took it from her as the team leader whispered instructions in his ear.

"There's a man named Wonho, who is his right hand of sorts. He frequently roams around in a black van, that's what they used to kidnap me. Twice."

"A name and a car colour is not enough Dr. Baek."

"Well that's all I have." She snapped. "We didn't exactly sit and exchange life stories."

Jihoon stared at her, then Mingyu.

"We need to get her to him." Jihoon grabbed his phone from the table. "She knows nothing, but if she's by his side, she might learn more."

"What do you mean?" Na bi's eyes flickered between the two men.

Jihoons eyes scanned her up to down. "I hear you're his latest love interest-"

Na bi rolled her eyes. "He's not in love with me."

"In love, attracted, infatuated, whatever, I don't care. The key word is interested. If he's taken an interest to you and you have his attention," Jihoon cracked his knuckles. "then that shall be our weapon. You shall be our weapon. We'll put you right next to him, perfect to find and feed us intel - where his headquarters are, where his hideouts are, crucial details of his organisation-"

"You're asking me to pretend to return his apparent interest in me, collect information about him discreetly and report it back to you?" Jihoon nodded at her, like it was obvious. "You're insane. I agreed to help you, not kill myself. If he finds out what I'm up to, I'll be dead in an instant."

"Are you saying you disapprove of my idea Dr. Baek?"

"No, I'm saying that it's outright stupid and doesn't consider the risks that it holds for me." She sat upright. "I'm sure there's other things I can help with. We still don't know why and how Ana got involved in all this. Since I know her, I can work with Mingyu on that-"

"Dr. Baek, since you're so eager to give suggestions, let me remind you what exactly your position here is." Na bi could see the pulsation in Jihoon's temple. "You are still a suspect of being I.M's aid, proven by the fact that we found your fingerprints in Ana's house and bullets in your own house. The only thing saving you from being prosecuted right now is Mingyu's willingness to take your responsibility and your ability to help us. Should you back off now, imagine the effect that would have on your life? On your career?"

Na bi looked at Mingyu in disbelief. He didn't meet her eye as Jihoon continued.

"You will be prosecuted. You would be going in and out of court for years, trying to prove your innocence, only to be trampled by the judicial system that functions purely on hard facts and evidence, which I have. Have you considered these risks for yourself?"

Na bi felt like air was knocked out of her lungs. "Are you threatening me?"

"I'm reminding you." Jihoon threw her a photo of the bullets laying stashed in her kitchen drawer. "This is as important to you as it is to us. I hope you will start to take it as seriously."

Na bi stared at the picture in her lap. She never should have hidden the bullets from Chankgyun. One stupid, stupid move and she was trapped.

Picking up the picture, she ripped it, earning a glare from Jihoon and an inaudible, concerned whisper from Mingyu. She had no way out.

"I don't have any way to contact him." She threw the pieces on the floor. "How will I find out anything?"

Jihoon looked at Mingyu who got up immediately, walking to the table.

"If our theory of I.M taking a fancy for you is right, he must still have his eyes on you." Mingyu started. "It shouldn't be impossible for you to get a hold of him again."

"If he still has his eye on me, anything we try wouldn't work." Na bi wondered how on earth this man managed to work in intelligence. "He would have seen me hanging out with you for days now, and given your genius undercover role was that of a cop, he's not going to try and approach me anymore."

"Cops aren't a threat to him." Jihoon interjected. "Majority of the cops in Seoul don't even know about I.M and the ones that do, work for him anyways."

Na bi's eyes widened. "C-cops work for him? A criminal?"

"If good men were purely good, evil wouldn't exist Dr. Baek. How do you think the man has been able to stay so powerful? He's got his people everywhere." Mingyu nodded at her in agreement. "More frustratingly, there is loyalty for him everywhere. Over the years, any of his people that we've managed to get a hold of would rather kill themselves in custody than reveal anything about him.... That's why you're our only way." Jihoon looked at her very differently now. "The only thing that can take him down is betrayal. That's what you need to do."

Na bi gripped her thighs to stop them from shaking. It was getting all too much. Too much.

Jihoon got up, joining Mingyu at the table. "What was your plan?"

"We need to make him believe her life is still in danger." Mingyu started slowly. "If he truly cares, like we assumed, he will try to protect her again. We can start from there."

"And if he doesn't?" Na bi walked up to him, standing on the other side, glancing at his paperwork. "What if he doesn't fall for it? Or if he doesn't try to protect me again, then?"

"I bet my ass this would work." Jihoon clicked his tongue at Mingyu's choice of words, making him apologise before he continued. "We have back up plans. If not this, then-"

"Sorry, boss." The black jacket man from earlier returned, making all three of them turn towards the door. "I have intel. I enquired about address she gave. It's an old warehouse that stores spare parts of cars. It hasn't been used in years but a week ago..." He looked at Na bi then Jihoon. "There was electrical issue, a faulty wire that led to sparks and... the place caught fire. It's completely burnt down, there's nothing but ashes."

Jihoon glanced at Na bi who let out a shaky breath. She knew what his stare meant - she really was the only way out. She was their only solution.

That's how barely five days later, true to their plan, albeit at a much earlier time than she was informed, she found herself being chased down the alleys. And exactly as Mingyu predicted, Wonho 'rescued' her yet again, bringing her just where she had to be - right by Chankgyun.

She scrapped the last of her food off the plate, forcing it down her throat though all she wanted was to throw it all up. She needed to eat, she needed her energy - things were only just beginning. She had only entered hell today.

Tomorrow, she was to begin her mission to take down its king.

Next chapter

[nephriteknight]

Thoughts on Daggerheart!!

I'll admit I haven't really been following it until today, but after watching the videos released today I got very excited and ended up building a character and reading a lot of the book, as I am wont to do (might post about them later lol).

Now, full disclosure, I wouldn't say I'm all that familiar with the TTRPG space outside of D&D, so take my opinions with a grain of salt. That said, I've played D&D, Wanderhome, Alice is Missing, and the fan-made Hollow Knight TTRPG, and I've watched some AP of Kids on Bikes, Call of Cthulhu, Monsterhearts, and Candela Obscura, which is a longer list than I was expecting. Huh. Anyways, my thoughts!

I really like the duality dice! It's such an interesting way to do mixed success that incorporates story/character into mechanics, which is great.

Related to that, I also like Hope as a fluid resource, and I think that Fear is a nice way to both prompt GM action and to just create a fun sense of dread as the GM takes more tokens

The lack of turn order/action economy is... cool, and a really interesting idea, but my thoughts on this are complicated. As we're seeing in the oneshot right now, it really helps to keep combat as part of the story and give the players and GM room for creativity. (For example, Bunnie describing a counterstrike as part of her dodge, and being able to take it as soon as the GM's turn is over, as well as the tag team feature, which is very cool.) That said, I think this mechanic might not work so well with less experienced or less confident players, who might have trouble taking the initiative (heh) to act in combat (I know I certainly would if I wasn't playing with close friends). That's not really a criticism though -- this is a collaborative storytelling game, and part of playing it is making big moves and taking turns guiding the story. If that's not for you, then you might prefer a different system, which is fine! I think this mechanic has the potential to be really, really dope, but I also think it's the bit that has the most potential to go poorly in my eyes.

The art, design, and general aesthetic feel of this game are so unbelievably up my alley. I love it. That's all.

I'm excited to see that they're working on mechanics for playing disabled characters, but since they aren't out yet I can't really comment. (I did notice that the character in the bard art is in a wheelchair, which is dope.) Also, as others have noted, Daggerheart uses "heritage" and "ancestry" rather than "race", which is a small but good choice.

Personally, I also really like the choice to move away from precise measurements of distance and gold. This one is very much a personal preference, and I know some people will rightfully disagree, but I like it! As a DM, trying to determine the appropriate costs and rewards for things has always been a headache, and this seems much easier to manage; measuring distances with convenient and tangible measurements like the short side of a playing card or the length of a piece of paper also feels much easier to use.

The downtime mechanics are great! Each of the activities you can take prompts you to describe how you heal yourself or another, destress, repair armor, or prepare yourself for what's ahead, which really encourages quieter character moments both introspectively and with others. I'm a big fan of this. This combining of role play and mechanics is also present in other features, such as one of the major level 1 healing abilities, which is more effective if you spend the time it takes to cast learning something new about the person you're healing or sharing something about yourself.

I didn't look at this too closely because I was just making a character for fun and don't have a party to play with, but as part of character creation you're given questions about your relationships to your party members to answer. Wanderhome also has these, and they were MASSIVELY successful in creating depth and meaningful connections between players -- after our table's session zero I was already so invested in all our characters, and when we actually played them they really came to life. I haven't looked to closely at Daggerhearts version of this, but I'm very excited to see them.

The experience mechanic seems really fun and creative, and I especially like the idea of using a phrase rather than something specific. That said, when I played the Hollow Knight TTRPG, which also lets players create their own skills, the open endedness of it was more confusing than inspiring, and there was a lot of potential for a usefulness disparity between players. I do think Daggerheart explains it better, though, and limiting the use of experience with a Hope cost helps to counteract any choices that might be too broad, so hopefully it will work better

I probably have more thoughts, but it getting late and I have a headache, so that's all I'm saying for now :D

Overall, Daggerheart has combined a lot of things I've liked in other games with promising mechanics I haven't seen before, and I'm very excited to try it out. I'm now realizing that I just made a list of things I like without any negative feedback, which isn't what I wanted to do, but I'm not really sure what to criticize without having played it myself.

I'm most curious to see how the non-initiative mechanic works; it has the potential to be a really excellent solve for a major problem in D&D (plenty of people have talked about how initiative limits teamwork, can be boring when its not your turn, etc, so I won't get into it here), but I don't think it's a solution that will work for everyone. Of course, games can't work for everyone, and shouldn't try to. It's working really well on CR's oneshot as I write this, but making choices and sharing spotlight in TTRPGs is literally their job, so I'm not surprised this works for them. I could see this going really well with some tables I've played with, and really poorly with others. I'm still really optimistic, though; it seems like the kind of thing that with the right table could be really excellent.

[arsonisticscholar]

Your mxtx posts are getting to me. I am so intrigued by the fanart. So my question is

Where do I start? 👀

Ooooo heheheh

Sorry I kinda went on a rant there but I hope this helps lol

(Post typing I kinda went on a little rant but you can decide depending on the info I put in there, I’ll cut it for the sanity of my followers and I’ll separate the different sections a bit and highlight what each section talks about. Veeery mild spoilers but one is a plot ‘twist’ that gets exposed in the first book and one is a content warning so. But also they all have a bit of violence which gets graphic at times so keep that in mind)

Ok there’s three different series by mxtx in release order: scum villain self saving system(svsss) (idk the Chinese name oops) the grandmaster of demonic cultivation or mo dao zu shi (mdzs) Heaven officials blessing or tian guan ci fu (tgcf)

I won’t include major spoilers but there’s still stuff like typical trigger warnings that I might want to add

Ok there’s a few different ways you could read them depending on how familiar/comfortable with different things

~~~

The easiest thing to say no for reading is sex, and while there are no plot points that you’ll miss by skipping anything and only once has there been a sex scene outside of an extra chapter this still could be important for some so I just wanna be sensitive. If you’re not totally comfortable with sexy stuff or want to build up to it go in this order:

Heaven officials blessing (nothing explicit, some innuendos and references and implied and it does happen but it’s never descriptive at all, I wouldn’t feel morally objectionable if I gave it to a young teenager)

The grandmaster of demonic cultivation (explicit extra chapters, is not generally sex related during the main plot)

Scum villains self saving system (has an explicit sex scene during the main plot, has multiple sex scenes in extra chapters, and has casual references to sex and sex jokes throughout)

~~~

If you’re not super familiar with Chinese names or words (idk you’re nationality but I’m American and white and it took me a minute for sure) or if you’re not familiar with xianxia terms then read in this order

Scum villain (mostly sticks to courtesy names so only one name per character, doesn’t get too deep into politics, and doesn’t rely to heavily on genre knowledge for worldbuilding without explaining it)

Heaven officials blessing (has like three different names per character, gets pretty deep into those Heaven officials drama, but easy enough to follow once you know the characters, relies a little on the reader already being familiar with the genre but does enough of its own worldbuilding that it’s honestly fine if you were familiar with Chinese names then this would be the easiest to rawdogg and understand what’s happening)

Mo dao zu shi (uses both given and courtesy names and nicknames and every name under the Sun to refer to a character, gets suuuuper deep into inter-sect drama, and got a little hard to follow at points keeping track of family trees and which sect was where and that guys sister is who’s wife?? Might need a whiteboard idk, also most of the worldbuilding is around the politics and sects relationships so if you don’t know much about the genre might want to pull up the fandom wiki)

~~~

If you wanted to know the length of each series it’s

Scum villain (4 volumes, 3 main plot 1 extra chapters)

Mo dao zu shi (5 volumes (eng ver.) 4 1/2 main plot second half of 5 extra chapters I think? Or 4 main plot 1 extra chapters)

Heaven officials blessing (8 volumes, first 7 1/2 main plot ends the 8th vol with extras)

~~~

And ik you said you were curious about the fanart so if you’d like visuals to help decide,

Top left image: on the left is Luo Binghe, on the right is Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuan/Shizun(just teacher but a lot of the time people in the fandom just call him shizun lmfao)

Top right image: on the left is Xie Lian, on the right is San Lang/Hua Cheng

Bottom image: on the left is Lan Zhan/Lan Wangji/Hanguang-Jun, on the right is Wei Ying/Wei Wuxian/Yiling patriarch

~~~

I personally read them Heaven officials blessing, Mo dao zu shi, scum villain

My favorite to least favorite is scum villain, Heaven officials blessing, Mo dao zu shi

The most popular are mo dao zu shi, Heaven officials blessing, scum villain

~~~

The content that exists for each series are:

Heaven officials blessing:the original completed book series, season 1&2 with 3 on the way of animated series, live action in production, audio drama with upcoming episodes, and a few volumes of comics

Mo dao zu shi: the original completed book series, a completed (but heavily sensored) live action show, season 1(?) of an animated series, completed(?) comic series

Scum villain: original completed books, season 1 of a 3D animated show, actually that’s it I’m starving

[aeithalian]

……you MUST know I want your director’s cut thoughts on a shard or two lol xoxo MJ/kiwiana-writes (my kingdom for asks from sideblogs)

OOOOH hehe hello MJ i keep seeing you pop up reccing a shard or two and just know that every time i see it, i send up a little prayer that your pillows are cold on both sides.

ANYWAYS (most of my followers on this blog aren't RWRB fans but who cares) a shard or two is definitely a weird fever dream of a fic. I read the entire book in like 24 hours (this was just before the movie came out, so less than a year ago) and I, having a strange interest in politics, was like 'hmm, you know what? not enough politics'. So now we have a shard or two. I've always had a interest in politics and I always felt weird about being that person who has a strange in-depth knowledge about the US government, but I think writing the fic helped me think about politics in less of a pessimistic way, like 'here's what I would want to see in modern-day politics'. It also kind of raises the philosophical question of how good people function in a corrupt system without being corrupted themselves, and Alex is such an interesting character to play with on that front because I view him as so idealistic that he refuses to be corrupted purely out of spite and stubbornness.

So, that's how it got started, I think. I told myself I wasn't going to start another WIP while I have one going for a different fandom, but here we are. I originally intended for it to be way shorter than it was (here I was thinking last October that 20k was an insane length for chapter 1, and then chapter 3 ended up being 100k all put together), but it's been such a fun passion project and a real stress-reliever for some reason, and a great way to develop my writing. Somebody in the comments asked me if I write professionally (I do not, and I likely never will, but I appreciate the sentiment).

As for director's commentary, I'm just spitballing here but I have so much fun stuff to share so here ya go.

I know there's this whole debate in the fandom about whether or not Alex goes into politics post-canon, like either go into local politics or start his own firm or whatever, and I generally don't see a lot of people saying that he would go into upper-level politics like he does in the fic. Very rarely do I see any post-canon fics that delve into what Alex's future career might look like if he ran for any office, so I kind of just did it myself, as one does. I do remember seeing CMQ say on their Instagram that Alex wouldn't run for president, but he might run for governor of Texas, but I kind of pulled a Harry Potter fandom and ignored the author (sorry not sorry), but I did make a reference to it early on in chapter 3 for anybody who's looking for any easter eggs). Regardless, it's very fun writing a Gen Z politician who gives no fucks (Alex is Gen Z, I'm taking no critiques on this). I'm so excited for people my age to start running for office. We're going to kill it, I feel it in my bones (you won't catch me up there, but maybe in some health policy behind-the-scenes work, who knows).

The names for the characters were a ton of fun to come up with, and I tweaked them all the time, but here are some tidbits behind some of them:

Edward McKinney's (opposed the amendment in chapter 2 and was Alex's opponent for the Democratic nomination in chapter 3) last name is a play on William McKinley (the 25th US president) to kind of bring this mindset to the table that McKinney is exactly who your stereotypical politician is who would run for president.

Pinkley's name is also a reference to Charles Pinckney, who ran for president in 1804 and 1808 as a Federalist. For no particular reason. I was just having fun with it.

Treacher's name actually comes from the word 'treacherous' because I originally intended for him to be way more of a villain than he ended up being, because I thought it would be interesting to have a political opponent who isn't necessarily an enemy.

Aksel Wolter's (the guy who overthrew my man Onderburg for the Baltonian presidency) name was originally going to be Signe Wolter, but then I saw a cool TikTok that compared some enemies throughout history and saw how similar their names were (George Washington & King George, Jesus & Judas, Obama & Osama, etc.) so I thought it would be cool to have an Alex and an Axel, but the spelling was too similar so that's how we ended up with Aksel because that's also a way it's spelled in northern Europe.

Erik Onderburg's (you know who he is, RIP 😈) original name was Henrik, and that got all the way into the published version of chapter 2 (he's mentioned towards the end), and then when I was writing the first scene of chapter 3 and realized that Henrik and Henry were way too similar, I had to change it.

Ellie (full name Elena) is named after Ellen, with a bit of a Hispanic twist. I think Alex and Henry's deal was if they had a girl, they'd name her after Ellen, and if they had a boy, they'd name him after Arthur. I like to think the middle name would have been Orion either way.

Hunter Weaver (the in-universe replacement of Anderson Cooper) has nothing to do with WASPY Hunter. That was a total coincidence and completely unintentional. But, hey, if you want to believe they're the same person, go for it.

All the research in there is legit! Wikipedia has been a fucking godsend for election results and facts about government structures outside of the US, but it kind of sucks trying to relay stuff into two decades in the future. You never know what kinds of issues are going to be important in 20 years, so I actually kind of avoided that problem by just relating it to some of our current issues today: queer rights, specifically in trans communities, election fraud, 3rd party candidates, human rights issues (ikyk) and so on. And the makeup of NATO, the UN, G20, etc. haven't changed because I can't see into the future.

I also had to do a surprising amount of math? Trying to figure out dates and stuff was way more difficult than I anticipated, especially for election results and percentages, but I realized I really don't need to pull out my TI-84 calculator for a fucking fanfic, but I'm also terrified of the prospect that somebody will correct me on any of my math or research so the calculator stays. It makes for some funny moments, though, like when I realized that if Alex actually ran in the 2040, he would really have Teddy Roosevelt beat for the post of 'youngest president' by, no joke, 3 weeks. So that's kind of fun (and how I firmly decided to have that be the timeline of things).

I write most of the speeches the characters give myself, but I use chat gpt to get me started sometimes (the product is always pretty bland, so it's really just a reference for structure), but I use real-life speeches for reference too. For example (and a bit of a sneak peek), in chapter 4, Alex is giving a speech to the UN General Assembly, and I lifted a couple phrases directly from one of Obama's speeches.

Writing this fic on google docs was a terrible decision. When i was writing chapter 3, the entire word count was well over 160k and the software was getting so laggy every time I needed to control f something for reference. So chapter 4 and beyond is currently being written in a new google doc. Speaking of which, having to switch all my formatting over onto ao3 with chapters this long is a pain in the ass. 0/10 do not recommend having to go through each chapter and fix the formatting every time just because I wanted to have fun little article inserts.

I was going to make it smutty and then i chickened out. i deeply apologize for my cowardice (i've never done smut before).

I guess if you want a couple sneak peeks for chapter 4, I can do that too 😜

If this next chapter had a motto, it would be "every president has their tragedy". Yes, that should probably scare you. (honestly, I'm a little nervous to write it too, just because I know it's pretty dark but hey, if Disney can show Mulan killing 2,000 Huns in an animated children's movie, then I can tag this as mature and not be worried about traumatizing people, okay?)

If it had a theme song, it might be 'Fourth of July' by Sufjan Stevens or 'Abstract (Psychopomp)' by Hozier. (Don't be scared, you'll be fine, because if the chapter after that had a theme song, it would be 'Dog Days are Over' by Florence and the Machine)

So, all the chapters are titled with 5 stages of career development (completely arbitrary, I worked off Indeed's for a while and then I said 'fuck it'). Stage 1 was Establishment, stage 2 was Maintenance, stage 3 (spanning ch. 3 and 4 on ao3) was Advancement. So stage 4 (ch. 5 on ao3) will be Obstruction, so take that how you will. But stage 5 (ch. 6 on ao3) will be Resolution, so that should make you feel better. They're sister chapters, so although the conflict itself is resolved in chapter 4, the lasting changes and long-term effects of that conflict will be mostly featured in chapter 5 (which, honestly, is the one I'm most excited to write because I feel like it's that moment when Alex really grows into himself).

And a little fun knowledge just for you: there's actually going to be a stage 6 (ch. 7, on ao3). I was going to surprise readers by adding on a chapter after I publish stage 5 with a 'psych! you thought this was over, suckers'. Stage 6 is titled 'Reflection', so I'm planning for it to be about how Alex leaves office dealing with the idea of his own legacy and accomplishments (but as I teased in Stage 3, he won't actually be 'done').

I think that's all I've got in me. Chapter 4 is in the works, but it's taking way longer than I'd like (I've only just started part 1 😬) since I started a new job that's kind of sucking the life out of me. I'm very excited to share it, though! I'll be sad when it's over (maybe I'll do a missing moments oneshot series after, who knows).

director's cut ask game

[kawaiibarty]

the phantom's game

wow okay, this fic has A LOT of lore. if you don't want to read a fic with a plot full of Plot and Slow Burn then this isn't the fic for you. alternatively, if you're looking for a fic that reads like it should be shoved in the recesses of a dingy library then this might be the fic for you?

masterlist

the fic:

the phantom's game will be incredibly slow in the beginning because it's basically remus just getting his footing in the world of literature and it's building up to the main plot.

this fic will also be written in three parts (but it will be put all together as one fic in case you want to download it or whatever, it also makes reading easier i think) or at least that's the aim. it may end up being more than three (maybe four MAYBE) and the word count aim is around 100k to 120k words. ideally the fic was to have around 40/50 chapters but as of now im really uncertain about the length (even though i know how it ends lol) because, and im such a nerd for this, but i ended up doing some math about fic chapter length compared to the original work and so far ive gathered that for every 1 chapter in the original work i have 2 chapters for my fic and an additional 1.5k words. it took me forever to work that out please clap. counting words in a book is hard.

and also

i feel like it's a testament to the dedication im putting into this fic 😔

the point of view might change from third to first person after part one, which may be a bit confusing so im putting a pin in this idea for now as im not even close to part two (let me know what you think about this!)

characters/relationships

this fic is written from the perspective of remus lupin and the main pairing is wolfstar (remus/sirius). main characters are remus, leo ferox (from the fanfiction all the young dudes), and sirius black. other characters are barty crouch jr, lily evans and her father who is an oc; maurice evans and other characters will be added as i write because i cba to actually flesh it out rn (and also i dont want to spoil). there are also minor relationships that are discussed.

trigger warnings/content warnings:

there are quite a few things that happen in this fic that id like to forewarn you of should you decide to read it. there are discussions of abusive parents, substance abuse and violence. in one of the chapters there will be some dubious consent, drugging, there will be descriptions of murder and violence as well as discussions around mental illness and homophobia. discussions/mentions of suicide!!!!

i will be adding on as the fic goes because i know there is stuff that ive missed.

why am i doing this???

i largely wrote this fic because i got high on meds and some other stuff it was wacko and i had absolutely nothing to do. id completely given up in trying to recover my old zombie apocalypse fic (it's a long story) and i really wanted something that i was familiar with not just because i liked the complex and the idea but because i knew it. iykwim?

it's based on a book i read when i was fifteen that got me out of the second largest reading slump in my life and basically catapulted me into the genre of fantasy realism and the whole dark/chaotic academia scene. i also decided that i would continue writing it after my beta @thestrawberryapologist showed interest in it.

another reason why i continued it rather than trying to piece together a nonexistent zombie apocalypse fic was because i have recommended this book COUNTLESS times but it seems no one i recommended it to seemed to like it.

so this is me saying, very passive aggressively, that the plot IS GOOD :(

i smashed the original book in like 2 days and ive been thinking about it for four years straight. i haven't even gotten to reading the other parts of the series because im still hooked on how THIS specific one was written.

its also a really fun (and for me) a new look into the characters because ive really never written anything this detailed before. the plot is a rollercoaster and you HAVE to stay on your toes with the the original work and i would really really like to reflect that onto my writing.

this is also the first time since i was 15/16 that ive properly attempted anything full length with the means to actually finish it off.

when is it going to be finished?

that's a good question. and one i don't know the answer to. it took me 2 months to get to chapter 4 so... it may take a year or two or 6 months dude but it's gonna be long and it's gonna be full

please don't be shy to ask me about it (though that doesn't mean im inclined to spoil it — which i won't!)

[roxanaagriche111]

Before you read, I would like to explain some things! First off, if you guys don’t know what the rules are then please go back to the masterlist page here! If you have any problems with the rules then please kindly leave!

In this story, you are Yuu’s little sister. Yuu is a boy in this fanfic! Yuu never left Twisted Wonderland as he decided to stay there. It turned out he had magic this entire time that was sealed away for unknown reasons. Anyways, Yuu decided to stay after making friends and fond memories with the others. He also didn’t think he would fit in with his past life since there are no magic involved. He is still the Prefect from Ramshackle and had adopted Grimm while also being adopted by Divus Crewel.

FYI: In this information about who you are in this story. I had already made your personality, hobby, likes and dislikes, and background, etc. while the rest you decide! If they are wrong then I’m sorry, but I don’t know who you are, what you look like, etc. This is all based on fanfiction!

Thank you and enjoy!

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Name: (Y/n) Divus

Gender: Female

Age: for this story you are around 15-16 (you are supposed to be like Chii from Chobits. You don’t have to look like her with skin, hair, eyes, etc. but your behavior is like hers. Chii’s age is unknown so I made you 15-16 cause she looks like one )

Height: for this story you’re 5’0 (gotta make you smol for this story. Imagine the males all swooning at how tiny and cute you are! But if you are smaller or a bit taller then you’re welcome to change it as you please!!)

Body figure: you decide

Hair color and length: you decide

Eye color: you decide

Skin color: you decide

Sexuality: straight

Wording shortcuts: (Y/n)=your name, (L/n)=last name, (h/l)=hair length, (h/c)=hair color, (e/c)=eye color, (s/c)=skin color, (fav/f)=fav food, (fav/c)=fav color

Origin: you decide

Family:

(F/n) (L/n) (father/???)

(M/n) (L/n (mother/???)

Yuu Divus(older brother/alive)

Grimm Divus (adopted younger brother/alive)

Divus Crewel (adopted father/alive)

Dire Crowley (somewhat adopted uncle figure/alive (sadly))

Most of the teachers (older siblings/uncles/alive)

Best friends:

Ortho

All of the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd years.

All the teachers

Students from Royal Sword Academy

Species: Human

Occupation: Yuu’s little sister / Night Raven College’s cute princess / Ramshackle’s princess

Suitors (some might have slight Yandere tendencies cause who can blame them?! They need to protect!!):

All of the dorms plus its members (too lazy to put everyone’s names and last names lol)

Royal Sword Academy (some are Oc found on Pinterest, in my head, or in the game)

Rollo Flamm (depending)

Platonic relationships:

Grimm

Ortho

Checka

Personality:

In this story, you act like Chii from the anime Chobits. You tend to blank out a lot and wander off by yourself causing your older brother to panic. This is not only because you wander off on your own. You also tend to fall asleep on random people either because you’re too tired or you think they are your brother. Nobody can push you off or wake you up cause you’re too darn cute!! You tend to also be curious about places and people. You also have somewhat of a childlike behavior.

Extra fact about your background/personality: you would often latch onto someone. Rather in a day dream state or not. You would run over to that person and wrap your arms latching onto that very person. Sometimes it’s your brother, animals, or even those that you feel familiar with. You latch onto them and fall asleep with ease despite many possible dangers.

Hobbies:

Don’t judge, but you love reading child books for unknown reasons. (Chii likes to read the kid's books in the anime) You also love to draw, but you seem to love sleeping more. Especially wandering off somewhere to who knows where. Where your older brother ends up having to find you a lot of times.

Likes:

You care for your brother a lot and those that you’re close with. You love animals of all kinds and are quite curious of them. Drawing is also your favorite pastime along with sleeping.

Dislikes:

You dislike mean people and those who bully your friends. You don’t like being left behind or worse forgotten. You also don’t like getting hurt or injured because you make your older brother worry about you. You don’t like getting wet a lot such as swimming. This is because you’re bad at swimming and don’t know how to swim. (This is because you had accidentally fallen asleep at a public pool and almost drowned. You’re too scared being in a certain amount of water after almost drowning!)

Background:

You are Yuu’s little sister and it’s uncertain if you have magic or not. You don’t talk as much and mostly write the things you want to say, but you’re not mute for some reason. You also have a tendency to get injured easily or bruised up very quickly. If you bump into a wall or something, you instantly have a bruise. In other words, you’re fragile like glass. For another odd reason, you tend to blank out and wander around before falling asleep on someone or something. You don’t know how many times Yuu would panic if not seeing you in his eyesight! You did go to public schools, but considering your blank and wandering nature, plus sleeping at random places or people. You became homeschooled and is taught/watched over by your neighbor named granny. You are watched by your neighbor as your brother goes to public school and later picks you up.

Fun extra fact: You tend to forget to put shoes on and walk around barefooted a lot, rather it’s inside a place or out. Poor Yuu has to make sure to carry extra shoes on him to make sure you don’t injure yourself. Since you also tend to wander around while loosing sight of your brother. You have these four small bells on you. Two on each leg wrapped around your ankles. This helps your brother locate you better. You don’t bother to take them off cause you tend to forget very easily.

These are what you would wear at the college and what you tend to wear when not in class.

Also, you like to dress Lolita style like how Chii from Chobits would wear. This is because your character is based on the characteristics of Chii!!

Your uniform:

Your casual clothing

MASTERLIST

STORY SUMMARY

PROLOGUE COMING SOON

CHAPTER 1 COMING SOON

[bereft-of-frogs]

I have a new crackpot theory that is sure to get proven wrong

under the cut for spoilers and...length...(got out of hand)

I wonder if Torbin's crime was leaving Mae behind.

This is like, the opposite of the other theory I've already commented on (that the conflict sparks because the Jedi also want to take Mae) but idk. Maybe it's not what we think.

Vernestra in this last episode seems particularly upset that Sol never mentioned the possibility that the other girl lived (it seems like Sol never even mentioned that there WAS a sister), maybe because she was afraid exactly what ended up happening would happen (Mae gets scooped up by the Sith) and also neither Torbin nor Indara seem particularly surprised that Mae's still alive. It is possible that Indara thought it was Osha, but she does see the mark and that's when she's like 'what are YOU doing here' so it seems like she knows it's Mae and isn't like 'omg you're alive what' so it definitely seems like she knew Mae survived. And Torbin specifically says he's been waiting for her.

Sol is the only one insisting that she had to be dead, and no one could have survived the fall. So maybe, with his attention on Osha in that chunk of time we're missing between them escaping and her waking up, he doesn't notice Mae surviving, but the others encounter her on their way out and choose deliberately to leave her alone for some reason. (Maybe they're spooked by her power, she definitely seems like the stronger of the twins and obviously she's got some real dark stuff going on already.) And that might be something the Council would get upset about, judging by Vernestra's reaction. And enough to feel profoundly guilty about, leaving behind an 8 year old because you were scared of her power?

Whether Kelnacca knew she was alive or not remains to be seen (or might remain a mystery idk), but judging by all the marks he's drawn all over his walls, it seems like he was investigating something about the coven's power or history?

Anyway, also I'm currently placing all my money on it being Qimir behind the mask lol. I rewatched that monologue and obviously the voice has been altered but I feel like there are a couple lines that suspiciously resemble Manny Jacinto's cadences. Also that tonal switch when he tells Mae 'he'll kill you' (I saw someone else point out there was also a tonal shift when he tells Osha 'you look just like her' that's kind of suspicious), the fact that he knows so much and keeps prodding her on the riddle...it's SO him. I'm not discounting there being another Sith master though (maybe that he's the apprentice and someone else is pulling the strings)...

...I do just wish people would stop theorizing it's Vernestra haha. As I said before, if Vernestra turns out to be Sith it would take Leslye Headland, Justina Ireland, and Tessa Gratton all coming, in person, to my home to explain themselves for me to accept it. Otherwise, I would have to just believe it's two separate characters that happen to share the same name, species, and relative age. Hey, what a coincidence!

Just with three books left in the series, and judging by where we've just left Vernestra, it would take something MASSIVE to get her to the point of 'yeah I'm going full dark side'. And I feel like it would just be an asshole move to hijack that storyline with such an extreme twist this late in the game. Like...idk maybe they would but...it would be an asshole move to take someone else's character and 15+ books into a series be like 'oh surprise twist that undermines everything'. And you cannot say 'well it's been 100 years maybe something happens in between' because that's just shitty storytelling, it hasn't been 100 years for me, it's been four days since I finished Temptations of the Force, you cannot ask me to reconcile the Vernestra Rwoh who confronts the Eye of the Nihil herself and gets them across the stormwall, with a secret Sith manipulating everything from the shadows based on stuff happening off-page/screen. I cannot see it.

I DO however totally see where the cracks could form with her relationship with the Senate. I bet you the Senate accepts Marchion Ro's deal to save them from the blight and the Jedi feel betrayed by that and that's why she's like 'fuck the Senate, we do this on our own'. I think that would make sense for her last big unresolved relationship arc, her issues with Elzar, because Elzar has just committed to being the liaison between the Order and the Senate. (I do think they're going to get over though, Elzar mentions twice that he wants to give her Stellan's lightsaber and he doesn't, I don't think they'd do something that significant off-page, I bet that will close out this arc on a good note.) And it would be some juicy conflict between her and her non-Jedi friends, like I'm sure Cair and Jordanna having seen the effects of the blight, would be on board with doing whatever it takes to stop it, but I can also see some of the Jedi characters feeling betrayed by that, like they've been left to deal with the Nameless on their own for so long and now they feel like they're getting sold out by people they thought they could trust to the exact person who's been killing and torturing them.

Also just practically, it seems like by the time of the show Vernestra is an important enough figure in the Order's hierarchy that people would like....notice if she was fucking off all the time to go secretly be a Sith? Idk, I guess Palpatine had time to multitask but I think he was doing most of his Sith-business while still hanging around Coruscant, it seems like the Sith are out on the Outer Rim a lot, you'd think people would start to get suspicious if Vernestra was gone for long stretches of time. I guess she's done that before lol maybe they're just like 'oh Vernestra's off on another one of her unsanctioned walkabouts', and it is kind of sus that she's so upset Sol didn't tell her about both girls if the theory that the Sith wants both twins is true, but...yeah to get me to accept this they'd have to come explain themselves to me personally. XD

Idk. I almost convinced myself there it's a possibility. But we haven't seen the lightwhip scene yet, and that looks like a forest, it feels more likely she's going to go confront Mae's master herself, and that would just be an unreasonable level of subterfuge for the audience to accept (on the level of 'Indara is the Sith master and faked her own death in the first episode' theory)

Anyway, how did this become novel theorizing and also Star Wars fandom stop theorizing my favorite Jedi ladies are secretly Sith, leave my girls alone--

ETA: I definitely also think there's a reason the Sith (maybe Sith, I guess I should stop assuming) wants the four Jedi dead. They definitely witnessed something that night that they shouldn't have and I think got distracted by their own issues with what went down, but it looks like Kelnacca was close to figuring it out. Proof: after Mae tells Qimir she doesn't care about revenge anymore, she's just going after her sister, the master comes to kill Kelnacca himself, also feels like solid evidence of Qimir being the master...

ETA: wait I talked myself out of the most suspicious thing, why would she be so obviously upset at Sol for not telling her about Mae if she was the Sith master and would have known from the start? Unless she's playing him? But idk that break in frustration appeared genuine. I'm back to being reassured that it's not her. That would be SUCH an asshole move with only three books left to go in the series and none of the dangling threads of Vernestra's storyline having really anything to do with dark side struggles. (She struggles more with despair while she's mourning and being like slightly judgy of Elzar, it doesn't seem that serious. They're definitely going to focus on whatever this mysterious path she got from the ghost of Mari San Tekka and her unresolved issues with Elzar. Ok I'm back.)

[theboardwalkbody]

This is a snippet of the Twister imagine (also the Reader-ish OFC / Dusty thing). It is very much written quickly and a literal play-by-play of how it was unfolding in my head in real-time. So not really structured as properly as a regular fic. Part of me WANTS to flesh it out properly for a fic but I also feel that if I try to it might just never happen where if I release it this way at least SOMETHING will get put out.

Anyway, this is how I introed it in my drafts:

I am in the mood for a fluffy, summery imagine so here's something (note - it's actually just me writing out the daydream I was having earlier) (note 2 - there is absolutely hints of 'reader' and dusty crushing on each other) (And here's another note - I ended up putting a read more cut due to length, I didn't realize this would be so long also it gets VERY Dusty/FReader under the cut all hints out the window really lol You know the 'only one bed' trope? yeah it's that, except there's only one shower oops - but there's nothing explicit sorry friends):

If you're interested I'd love feedback on if you'd prefer it to be released in ANY format (as in this style being ok or actual fleshed out story) OR if you're only really interested in a fully fleshed out / polished format. Again, I'll be honest, this might be the only thing I have motivation for (and it is still taking me some time) so IDK how a more "polished" thing would go BUT I am still interested in feedback. Or if you like where it's going or whatever. I'm considering switching from F!Reader to OFC if its more polished but that's not set in stone either. All of this is a lot of scenery so far. lol

INTRO TO FIC/IMAGINE/SOMETHING BELOW:

You're in the pool, at first sitting on the bench between Haynes and Laurence; she's reading a trashy gossip magazine (she would otherwise be on her phone doing the same thing but she's not one to bring valuable electronics around the pool even if they're water resistant), and he's got a book and nearby a waterproofed go-pro. Eventually you do decide to journey off the bench and begin simply walking a circle in the shallow-end. After about twenty minutes of what is basically your attempt at water-based exercise just for the heck of it you start feeling even warmer than when you'd first gotten in so you decide to actually submerge yourself up to your neck and explore the deep end; swimming back and forth between there and the shallow end. Every so often you sing softly along with the music but not loud enough for anyone to really hear.

Off the shallow-end on the deck Jo is getting in some sun on one of the lounge chairs. She's wearing brown-tinted sunglasses that, thanks to how dark they are, anyone could easily assume she was asleep but knowing Jo she's keenly aware of what everyone's doing. On the lounge chair next to her is Melissa (because I like to imagine they could all be adults and remain friends despite all the events they been through). Melissa, like you, is wearing oversized sunglasses. She has accented her swimsuit with a large sunhat. She has a novel in hand and her work cell on the table between her and Jo's chairs next to the pitcher of iced tea that is dripping with condensation. Melissa's glass is nearly empty where Jo's sits half full next to her almost empty bottle of Twisted Tea.

Over at the gazebo Bill, Joey, and Preacher sit, each with their own bottles of beer in hand. They're having a conversation but between the music and their distance from you, the sounds of the water as you swim through it, and the shouts from the rest of the gang the only bits of their discussions you can hear are their intermittent bursts of laughter. Scattered around the tables under the metal roof were bottles and cans of different beers and sodas belonging to the men otherwise unaccounted for by the pool and in the gazebo.

On the opposite side of the pool, the farther side of the yard, the open grassy area is being utilized by the rest of the group. The volleyball net had been taken down and gently placed along the fence to make room for a game of touch football. Dusty and Beltzer VS Rabbit and Sanders. This group was particularly raucous. Laughter, shouts of playful jabs, whoops of celebration, expletive exclamations of defeat and disagreement over calls. Occasionally one of them would call over to the gazebo group demanding a referee call - often answered by Joey who was paying slightly more attention to the amateur football game than his conversation buddies but occasionally answered by Bill if the debate was getting too heated.

At some point in your playlist the new Luke Combs song, Ain't No Love in Oklahoma, comes on which gets some of the group singing along, none more so than Dusty and Beltzer, however. The sound of them shouting along the words almost drowned out the actual audio from the speakers. It made you, Haynes, and Jo crack subtle little smiles. Jo because she enjoyed seeing her group having a good time, Hayne's because she enjoyed seeing Beltzer have a good time and found his singing enjoyable, and you because you enjoyed seeing Dusty having a good time and always thought it was cute when he would get so into things and just be fully and unapologetically himself; loud, fun, goofy, sweet - all of it.

[cardinal-copia-popia]

Always same anon here, maybe we Will have to give me a name😂 loved the last fics❤️❤️🫶

I feel romantic today, and i was thinking about a copia, already papa, with a sister of sin that have a crush on him and that leave flowers every morning in his office? I dont know the location, up to you👀 , but leaving no letters or name. So Its basically copia having a secret admirer. But i love the idea that the sister speak to him normally during the day, teasing him even about having a secret admirer, and that the only One She told Its her Is terzo👀 because i see him as a gossip baby.

I would love to read something like that, and knowing your thoughts about It too ❤️❤️ thx you and like every time have a good day

Yes, anon! We'll definitely have to come up with a name for you! If you've got any ideas, let me know, because I'm rather terrible with coming up with nicknames 😅 Also, I LOVED this idea so much it was difficult for me not to turn it into something much longer, lol! So, thank you for the very sweet prompt!

Also here on Ao3

Rated G. Under the cut for length

Say It With Flowers

Copia cursed under his breath as his key slipped from his fingers. These past two days just were not his days. Nothing seemed to be going right. First, he slept past his alarm both times and was late to a meeting with Sister Imperator yesterday; then he spilled coffee down the front of his shirt; today, he had been walking around with a nice smear of paint across his face that no one told him about; and finally, to top it all off, he felt like he had made a complete fool of himself in front of his favorite Sister of Sin.

He was trying to be suave, maybe trying to be a bit too much like Terzo, and ended up falling flat on his face. Almost quite literally. He tripped and nearly knocked you over. You were immediately concerned as to his well-being, but Copia, stumbling over an apology, quickly retreated. How unbefitting for a Papa…

You were always so sweet to him, and he was not sure what he did to deserve your kindness. You had been so sweet to him ever since he had first arrived at the Abbey several years ago at this point. But he was too chicken to say anything to you about how he had grown so fond of you.

With a sigh, he stooped and picked up his key. He was ready for this day to be over with, and it had only just begun. As he retreated into the sanctuary of his office, he was met with a most welcomed, if not a bit frustrating, sight. 

Over the past several weeks, nearly every morning, he had come into the office to find a bouquet of flowers on his desk. There was never a note, but the flower used in the bouquet changed every so often. Copia even borrowed a book from Primo to help him figure out their meanings. They started out with friendship in the form of yellow tulips, then small sunflowers indicating admiration. And then, a few days ago, he had received red tulips, a declaration of love. He had spent the better part of an hour staring at those, wracking his brain trying to figure out who was sending these.

Copia had no idea who it could be, which is the part that frustrated him. But he still loved coming into his office bright and early to find them there. Any time he started to feel overwhelmed by his papal duties, he simply took a moment to admire them and ponder. 

He went up to the fresh bouquet now, leaving the door open. The flowers — dark red carnations this time — were ones he recognized from Primo's garden. Copia once asked Primo about who might be sending these, but the man just smiled knowingly and told him that he would find out all in good time.

He quickly rounded his desk and pulled out the book Primo had loaned him, flipping it open to the page detailing carnations. He felt his cheeks heat up, and a smile tugged at his lips as he read their meaning.

Red Carnations: an aching heart; a deep, aching love.

His secret admirer had admitted their love in various ways many times before, but this? This was a step up.

"Ah, a new bouquet, I see?"

Copia looked up to find Terzo leaning against the doorframe. 

Copia's smile turned bashful. "Sì."

Terzo smirked and pushed off the door, stepping up to the desk. "More declarations of love?"

"So it would seem." He sighed and shook his head. "I just wish I knew who they were from."

"Is there anyone in particular you want them to be from?"

Copia lowered his head. Of course, there was, but you would never… You knew about the flowers and often good-naturedly teased him about them. "Sì, but why would she need to be so secretive?"

"Well, whoever it is, maybe they're just as shy as you when it comes to matters of the heart."

"Perhaps…" He then looked up sharply at Terzo. "Do you know who it is? Please, Terzo, if you do—"

"It's not my place to say," he said quickly.

"So you do know!"

Terzo held up a hand. "I never said that!"

"No, but the implication was there!" Copia collapsed back into his chair. "I just want to know, Terzo. Is that really so bad?"

"Of course not, but again, it's not my place to say." Terzo hesitated a moment. "Tell you what, be out in the courtyard tonight."

Copia frowned. "Why?"

"Just… be there. Perhaps I will give you a hint…"

With that, Terzo left, leaving Copia to his thoughts.

He hurried down the hallway and rounded the corner, finding you waiting where you said you would be. 

"Well? What did he say?" you asked, nervously wringing your hands.

Terzo smiled. "He wants to know who you are, cara mia."

You looked away, your expression sad. "I want him to know, too."

"Then go in there and tell him!"

"I can't!"

Terzo sighed. "Fine. Tell you what, Sorella, why don't we have dinner tonight, and we'll discuss this? I'll help you figure out a way to tell him."

"You'd do that?"

"Of course! That is what friends are for! Meet me this evening in the courtyard."

You nodded. "Alright, I'll be there. Thank you, Terzo."

He smiled a bit smugly. "Don't thank me yet, cara mia."

***

Copia nervously paced along the path in the courtyard, wondering what Terzo was up to. He nearly left a few times, but with a sigh, he turned and continued his pacing. He was out there for almost twenty minutes before he finally heard someone approaching. Copia turned and froze upon seeing you stepping out into the cool night air. When you saw him, you froze, too. 

“Sorella? What are you doing here?” he asked.

You hesitated for a moment. “Hello, Papa. Terzo told me to meet him here for dinner.”

Copia felt his heart sink. So, you had a date with Terzo… “Ah, so that is what the table is for,” he said, gesturing to one of the big trees behind him. He fought to keep the disappointment from his voice. “I thought a couple of Siblings of Sin had a date earlier.”

You walked past him and stepped up to the table. “It seems to be for us,” you said, holding up a card.

Copia blinked in surprise and took the card. He did indeed see your names written there. “I don’t understand… What is he up to?”

You glanced up at him. “I… I think I know.”

Copia looked at you with a frown. You nervously cleared your throat. “Terzo said you wanted to know who was sending you flowers.”

“Ah… Sì… He seemed to know who it was.”

You walked away a few paces from him. “I know who it is, too…”

“You do?” Copia asked in surprise. “Who? Please, Sorella… Please tell me. I cannot take not knowing any longer.”

There was a long pause before he saw you take a deep breath. “Me. It was me. I sent you all of those flowers.”

“You?” he asked and immediately cringed when he realized how accusatory it sounded. “I mean… You’re serious? You are not pulling my leg?”

You looked up at him and smiled sadly. “No. No, it’s been me all along. I teased you so much about it, hoping maybe you’d get the hint that it was me.”

Copia stared back at you. “You love me?”

“Yes, Papa… I do.”

“Why did you not tell me to my face? Why the flowers? Not that I did not appreciate them!”

You shook your head. “You never gave me any indication that you returned my affections. You’re Papa now. I didn’t feel like it was my place to just come out and say it.”

Copia stepped closer to you and took your hands in his. “Oh, Sorella, I so wished it was you but thought it so impossible….”

You gazed up at him in awe. “You wanted it to be me? You mean…”

Copia smiled. “I have become so very fond of you, cara mia. I have been for a long time now.” He then shrugged. “In all honesty, I thought you and Terzo were an item, so I never felt like I could tell you. If Terzo could win your affection, what chance would I have?”

“Terzo just likes to be nosey; that’s the only reason he knew anything,” you explained. “But you’re the one I’ve always wanted, Copia. I fell for you a long time ago.”

Copia drew you closer to him. “I’ve always wanted you, too, cara mia.” He glanced down at your lips. “May I… May I kiss you?”

You smiled shyly. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

He wasted no time after that and gently pressed his lips to yours, finally doing what he had wanted to do for so long. You both sighed through your noses as if in relief that this was finally happening.

“I’m so pleased it was you,” he murmured after parting from you, though he did not go far.

You had your hands on his chest, leaning into him. “And I’m pleased I finally told you. I guess we have Terzo to thank.”

You shared a chuckle.

“I may know now who my secret admirer is, but…” he began with a sheepish smile. “I truly did enjoy receiving flowers.”

You smiled and pecked his lips. “Don’t worry; so long as Primo has flowers to spare, I’ll keep sending them to you.”

“Grazie, cara mia. And,” he said, leaning over to pluck one of the roses from the vase in the middle of the table, “perhaps it is best to say it with flowers.”

“Well, you know what roses mean,” you said, smiling coyly as you took the proffered rose.

Copia grinned, his heart full to bursting with the happiness and love he felt for you. “Sì. I love you.”