#it makes me realize one day someone will actually purchase the paid ones too

[akumanoken]

When you see people grabbing your free badges like

[anon-e-miss]

Oooh. Prowl suing CD for repayment on certain bills he'd paid under the assumption it was his bitlet? Even for repayment on say furniture or baby things he'd passed onto Rewind to help woth the set up in the understanding this would be shared child and Prowl wanted them to have the best. So CD is very much spinning the coldhearted greedy Prowl harrassing poor grieving Chromedome but he's legally sound and his lawyer is cutthroat.

Blaster would probably be emphasizing so hard from the side he heard from Chromedome and Rewind and when Jazz looks into the timeline of events is not matching up and certain people or looking a lot less innocent and victimized. Why were they accepting payment X, Y, and Z on these days AFTER Rewind realized it may not be Prowl's and why did the money go to Chromedome's expenses and not check ups or purchases for the baby?

Maybe Chromedome is the one who points Prowl out to Lockdown? To help insure the suit goes away? And Jazz meanwhile has been asked to help by Blaster who is trying to help out CD who's "just too proud to ask"? Maybe Lockdown doesn't go away and is behind some suspicious circumstances following the bidding? Because Chromedome has been getting approval turn over his expenses blocked and delayed to give him time?

He would be honestly suing Rewind because it was Rewind who defrauded him, though Chromedome was complicit, and likely even the brains behind the whole mess. His lawyer isn't going to drop the case because Rewind died. Nope, going after the estate. Prowl was VERY generous and his own bitlet, when he has one is going to need those credits spent on them. Prowl doesn't care if he's seen as a villain here, he absolutely doesn't care. Let them hate him, boo hoo. Not like he hasn't been hated by... eh most mechanisms that he's been around over the vorns.

I think Prowl has extra control issues here, to the point it's toxic. Not so much with other mechanisms but he's in the scene because he needs more rigid rules in relationships, literal contracts that spell out duties in both directions, that your normal relationships don't allow. His difficulty dealing with situations that fall out of his control is a problem. Sparklinghood trauma, I think.

Blaster is empathizing heavily with CD, that's the progenitor of his grandcreation and... thinking his creation INTENTIONALLY defrauded someone hurts. Of course, he knows that Rewind was wrong to have interfaced with CD when on this contract but they were in love and... well, Rewind was his creation. It's put him in a bit of a spot with his regular but not live in sub. Tracks finds the whole thing so distasteful and he is fully on Prowl's side and not quite about it.

Jazz can see pretty quick that the majority of the funds that Prowl shared were not going to Rewind. Like, Rewind was sending him woe is me messages about a bill, an unexpected expense and Prowl sent the funds but it was all lies.

I imagine CD actually gave Lockdown some of Prowl's own funds to try and win the scraplet Prowl's contract. There's a bit of a bidding war. Jazz knows Lockdown burns through credits, his mods aren't cheap and he's addicted to them. When Lockdown seems to have own it, Jazz throws in his bid and wins cleanly. Jazz just happens to have more shanix. Not sure why or what but he has a tidy income.

Prowl's going to be an interesting project. Prowl wants a bitty so he isn't going to resist any fragging, he expects it. But Jazz will need to break him and break him down in to make him actually relax. Prowl tried IVF at a clinic before turning to a breeding contract but he couldn't kindle. He couldn't relax enough according to the medic. He couldn't trust the process. Jazz will need to break down a lot of barriers.

[kleoyeager78]

10 things I hate about you | 9

Trigger warnings: sexual assault, verbal abuse.

I would say my life started going downhill when Eren started bullying me but I would be lying.

Honestly it was way before then. I think it really started the day I was born.

-

I was born into a middle/low class family.

We weren’t dirt broke but we weren’t doing so well financially. Still somehow we still managed to live in a decent house in a decent neighborhood. So I guess you can consider us middle class.

My father was a teacher.

And my mother… well if I’m being honest I never saw my mother with a real job.

She would always tell me she did music but every time I saw her she was passed out on the couch with alcohol and drugs all around her.

Nevertheless to me she was a very good singer. When I was little she would always sing to me old songs or would always show me tapes with her in a studio singing.

My earliest memories are of me singing with my mom in our kitchen while she smoked her cigarette with the window open and her tiny fan going.

Well it probably wasn’t my earliest memory but it was definitely my earliest memory that was actually good.

Now that I think of it my earliest memory was probably my dad coming home drunk and fighting with my mom.

My dad always did that.

He would go to work, go straight to the bar when he got off, then he would come home and yell at my mom and tell her how much she fucked up his life to which my mom would do the same and then he would beat her for it. And then he would go to sleep and go straight back to work.

Yup that’s definitely the earliest. I remember I would always start crying from the loud ‘booms’ coming from the living room and my mom would always come into my room and put a tape of her singing on my tv to calm me down.

That’s probably why I got the memories confused. Because that’s what my parents always do. They fuck up and then they do good shit to make it seem like everything is fine.

They’ve done it my whole life.

Especially my dad. My mom does it but not as much as him. Probably because he does more fucked up shit or the fact that my mom is always too stoned out of her mind to realize what she’s doing is fucked up.

But even though my dad did a lot of fucked up shit I couldn’t bring myself to hate him back then.

He never once put his hands on me and he was the only parent that paid me some attention and gave me the love I yearned for.

He would always buy me things and call me his little angel and I can’t lie it made me feel like the most special girl in the world. “How could I hate a man who made me feel that way?” I used to think to myself.

Well that feeling was bound to come to an end. I was bound to recognize what a monster he truly was.

And when I did, I was able to say that I despise him with all of my heart and that any love I had had for him is now burning away in hell.

Flashback

I was 12 when my parents divorced and I was currently living with my dad since my mom got sent to a mental hospital.

I missed my mom so much.

Even though she was never mentally there for me I couldn’t help but miss her presence.

And plus my birthday was coming up and she usually always made it special. It was the one day out of the year she actually tried to pretend she was a good mom.

I never had a birthday party because we didn't have much money, but my mother would always make me a cake, purchase me some balloons, and give me a little gift while cooking supper.

Although to someone else it didn’t seem like much, it was the world to me. It was a dream of mine to have a normal family so I was very grateful for my mom’s efforts.

But this year was different since my mom wasn’t with me.

I didn’t plan on sitting around and being sad for my birthday though. Nope not me, I had a plan to have the best birthday of my life and nobody was going to stop me.

My dad was coming home at 3pm from a night out so I figured I would put my plan in action then.

When he got home he went straight to watching tv which made me groan.

I didn’t want to interrupt his television since these past few days he’s been getting angry at me very easily. I figured because he doesn’t have my mom as a punching bag anymore.

I felt like I would get in trouble if I interrupted his tv so instead I went to sit next to him until a commercial.

It seemed he was in a good mood today though because as soon as he saw me he paused the tv.

“What’s up princess?” He said sweetly, making me want to throw up. These past few days he’s been so bipolar. One minute it’s princess and the nexts I’m getting called the whore who looks just like her addict for a mom.

“D-dad” I stuttered. “I was wondering if you could rent out a bouncy house for me and Hitch for my birthday.” I asked nervously.

“A bouncy house?” He asked, sounding like he was confused about me asking for a bouncy house but I was determined to execute my plan.

“Yup! Or really just 30 bucks I have money saved up to pay for most of it. You just have to give me 30 to cover the whole thing.”

“I don’t know princess-“ my dad was about to ask me if I was sure but I cut him off because I was more than sure.

“I’m willing to work for the money!” I blurted. This wasn’t part of the plan I just randomly thought of it but still I was more than willing to work for it.

This seemed to catch my dad's attention. “Work for it huh?” My dad took out a cigarette and lit it. After he took an inhale he talked again. “ I’ll have to see princess.” With that my dad got up and walked outside.

I just sighed and went back to my room.

If he says no, I won't be upset because I definitely considered a backup plan. which was spending my money on snacks, then going to the community pool with Hitch and she suggested we have a sleepover at her house so we could conclude the night watching movies. That seemed to me to be just as enjoyable as a bounce house. Hell any day sounded good to me with Hitch.

A few hours had passed by and I was still sitting in my room.

I decided to go see what my dad was doing since it was almost dinner time, but when I went to find him he was nowhere and his car was gone so I figured he went out.

I just sighed and prepared myself a sandwich for dinner.

After I ate I got ready for bed. And then I went to sleep. I thought it was the end of the day for me but boy was I wrong.

I woke up in the middle of the night from the front door opening.

I found it weird I woke up from this because my body was never usually this aware but I didn’t think much of it and quickly shut my eyes again.

I heard my bedroom door creak open and I saw my dad's shadow. I pretended to be asleep so he didn’t scold me for being up this late.

He came over to me and placed a kiss on my head like he usually did when he came back this late.

What I didn’t expect him to do though is climb in my bed. He never did that before so I was shocked but then I remembered I had to pretend to be asleep.

He wrapped his hands around my waist and put his head on my shoulder.

My dad was never this close or touchy with me but my mind told me he was doing this because he missed mom. I thought that he probably needed comfort because she was gone and that’s why he had been aggressive these last few days. If that was the case I was more than willing to give my dad comfort.

Trigger warning: Sexual assault

Well that was until I felt his hand in my underwear.

When I felt them I immediately stopped pretending I was sleeping and was about to sit up but my dad covered my mouth and forced me to lay back down.

“What do you think you’re doing cupcake?” He whispered in my ear. I couldn’t help but smell the alcohol on him and that’s when it hit me he’s drunk.

I tried to talk but his hand was on my mouth which I tried to move.

All he did was laugh at my efforts to move his hand while he continued to roam in my underwear.

“Dad please” I managed to say as I got his hand a little bit off my mouth. He just slapped his hand back on my face.

“You said you wanted 30 bucks right? Well be a good little slut and give me what my money's worth” with that he shoved his finger inside of me making me scream.

He kept doing that until he was satisfied and after he was done he got off my bed and laughed.

-

End of trigger warning

“Damn giving your body away for just 30 bucks huh y/n?” he laughed while I sat there shaking. “Didn’t know I raised a whore.”

I began to sob. At the time I didn’t know what he did was wrong so I was only crying about the way he talked to me and treated me. Not the fact he sexually assaulted me.

When he saw me cry it only made him laugh more. He leaned down to my ear and whispered. “If it makes you feel better it was the best 30 bucks I ever spent” he kissed my forehead and then tossed money at me like he was tossing trash in a trash can.

I laid there feeling like shit. At the time I didn’t even know what a slut was to be honest. All I know is that my dad loved to call my mom that so it couldn’t be good. And that meant he didn’t think good of me which broke my heart.

A few minutes passed and I finally got the strength to get up and take another shower. I felt dirty in a way I couldn’t explain so the only way to fix it was a shower.

When I got out of the shower I still felt like utter shit so I called the only person who could help me feel better.

Hitch.

She answered the phone with a mouthful of food. “Hey y/n what are you doing up this late?” She said with food in her mouth.

“H-hey Hitch” I said on the verge of breaking.

Hitch's line went silent when she heard me break. She immediately got serious because she knew something was wrong. “Y/n what’s wrong?”

“It’s my dad,” I said, beginning to sob.

“What happened? Is everything alright?” She asked her voice full of concern.

“H-he c-came home a-and-“ Hitch noticed that I was having trouble speaking and she wanted to be able to understand me to help me so she interrupted me and told me to text her.

So I did.

She let out the biggest gasp when she read the text.

“Y/n” she said voice also breaking.

I began to don harder and all Hitch could do was listen. “I hate the names he calls me,” I said.

“Y/n he literally assaulted you. This is way more than name calling.”

“Huh?” I was very confused. I didn’t understand what she meant by assault since he didn’t hit me or anything. “He didn’t assault me, Hitch. My dad would never hit me”

Hitch sighed. “Y/n he sexually assaulted you.”

I was still confused. I knew nothing about any of this. I was very uneducated, I guess that’s what happens when you have no one to teach you about these things.

Hitch noticed my confused silence and started to explain. “Sexual assault is when someone touches you inappropriately without your consent and that’s exactly what your dad did.” I was starting to understand what she meant and it made me more sad. “If you want I can meet you half at the park tomorrow and you can stay with me for a while.” Hitch suggested.

“I-“ I couldn’t even get the words out before Hitch was interrupting me again.

“ You don’t have a choice actually. You need to get away from that monster.”

“My dad isn’t a monster.”

“Says only you y/n”

I didn’t even question her. Hitch was way smarter than me so she was most likely right.

“Hitch?”

“ yes”

“Can you stay on the phone with me all night?”

She giggled. “I didn’t plan on letting you hang up”

Her words made me smile. “Why are you up this late anyways?”

“I was watching h20” she said in a low tone.

It made me laugh at how embarrassed she was. “You’re addicted”

“It’s just that good y/n” she said in defense. “Anyways do you want to start packing your clothes while on the phone?”

“Oooo yes! We can find matching outfits”

“Omg yes! We can literally be twins all week” she agreed. The line went silent again. I didn’t say anything because I felt like she wanted to say something else. “Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“Give your dad back his money.”

I was taken aback by her sentence. “What about our bouncy house?”

“We can just go to the pool. Besides we don’t need any money from that filthy pig”

I sighed. Like I said I always listened to Hitch because at this time she was my most trusted friend and the only person who cared about me really. “I’ll do it in the morning when I’m about to leave”

“Okay, make sure you throw it in his face and then run,” Hitch laughed.

I laughed too.

We ended up laughing all night until we both fell asleep arguing about which H20 character is better.

I was so glad I had Hitch, she was always there for me when I needed her and she always knew how to make me feel better.

A/n ~ I’m sorry this chapter is so dark but I wanted y’all to get y/n’s background info. The next chapter will be how she met Hitch and then after that I think I’ll take her back to the present.

[vaporize-employers]

[ID 1 of 2: Post from r/AmITheAsshole, titled "AITA for pretending to get fired when customers get a temper with me?"

I am a high schooler with a weekend job at a coffee shop. My coworkers who work weekends are: James - the owners son, he goes to my school. He's a shift manager but it's not a real formal thing, he's a friendly guy. Danielle - A college student who sometimes works weekends too. So sometimes customers will come in and just be angry about such little stuff. Like literally blow up about nothing. I dunno if theyre in a bad mood already and looking for someone to take it out on or what, but it's a lot… Like how sad so your have to be to be a grown-ass man taking your anger out on high school and college kids. So James and I were joking about having a little fun with them and hopefully getting them off our backs. So one day I was at work and some guy was having a temper about how we don't make the coffee hot enough… Which I couldn't do a thing about because I gave it to him right out of the machine. So James came in and was like "sir is there a problem here" and the guy started ranting at him too. So he was just like "OP, this is unacceptable, you're fired." I started acting real sad, like "no please don't fire me, my family needs the money, I need this job, pleaseeee" and he played up being a hard-ass, telling me to take off my apron and leave. The angry guy started to backtrack, like "It isn't that big of a problem, you don't need to fire her over it. I didn't mean it" and James was like "No, we pride ourselves on the best customer service" Of course after all that drama I still had my job, we were just acting. And we've done it a couple times, whenever a customer will lose their temper at Danielle or I, James will storm in and "fire" us. And almost every time, the person who had come in angry will apologise and say that they didn't mean it. It's kind of satisfying, making people realize their actions might actually have consequences. Anyway, I was telling my friends from school about this and a few of them thought it was a mean prank, to let someone go away thinking they'd gotten someone who desperately needs the money fired. AITA for this joke?

ID 2 of 2: Screenshot of Article titled "An employee whose job was to be sacked"

According to no less an authority than Danny Baker, this story is absolutely true. Harrods in the sixties employed someone to be sacked- surely the best job in the world. Apparently  the employee was paid to sit among the boxes on Harrods top-floor smoking his pipe and reading the Sporting Life. From time to time a bell would ring and he would be summoned to a department where an irate customer was  being mollified by the Head of the Department. Let us say today that Lady Ponsonby-Waffles has discovered one of the precious china teacups she recently purchased is chipped. The Department Head greets our friend with “Lady Ponsonby-Waffles is a most valued customer, your failure to check the quality of her china cups has led to her current predicament, you sir are fired” Despite Lady Ponsonby-Waffles pleas for mercy, the Head cannot be swayed. Our friend slopes disconsolately to the exit. Lady Ponsonby-Waffles drops her complaint convinced to the store’s determination to enforce the highest standards. Our friend, once passing the Department’s exit, slips back to his Sporting Life and his Pipe, to await the next occasion he would be called upon to be sacked.

/end IDs]

[missizzy]

A Game Novice's Baldur's Gate 3 Log, 3 1/2 Hours In: I would like to rage; is that really so complicated?

(Note: this will definitely contain spoilers for all I've played through, and probably quite a bit of the later stuff I've also seen.)

It has now been two weeks since I purchased Baldur's Gate 3 and started a playthrough attempt, despite my not really having enough experience for that. Previously, I had struggled to get the game, and then struggled with lag, but actually not with the gameplay all that much. I spent the week attempting more things to reduce the lag. Friday night, I found myself thinking they might have all helped a little, but two days later I'm no longer so sure.

It may have not helped that after a week and a half of not playing, I had lost track of where the helm of the nautoloid ship was, and so wandered a little more around the ship before realizing the entrance had been right behind us. That did at least result in my looting a few more things I'd missed earlier.

I had already watched one streamer reach the helm. He had chosen to linger to fight Commander Zhalk in order to get Lae'zel his sword, and I had watched him fight and struggle, but hadn't seen the end of that scene. So I actually didn't know the combat would end-as would all activity on the ship-as soon as someone reached the transponder.

I would have played through it differently if I had known. At the very least, I would've done more looting! But instead, especially with Lae'zel urging it, after an initial turn of them killing imps, I just sent her and Shadowheart running for the transponder as fast as dashing would take them.

Sara, on the other hand, I had activated rage for. I'm pretty sure it was activated; there was a visual effect. But the effect didn't stay up, and I was left unsure if it had stuck. She'd done it at the end of her turn, and while in D&D, it would've stayed had someone attacked her, I fear that here, it dropped before the imps could. Just in case it had, I had her lingering to attack whoever came into her range. She also did loot an onyx stone while she was at it.

When the sequence of cut scenes was far enough underway for me to realize my error, I briefly thought I should reload. But as I watched that truly spectacular sequence, even the lag not affecting it too much, I found myself feeling like I shouldn't. By the time I had passed over shots of characters vaguely familiar from other people's streams and watched Sara fall to earth, I felt like that part of the story had now happened to her, and it wouldn't be right to go back and try and rewrite it.

Also, I realized afterwards, I didn't know what key to press to reload anyway. Homework before I resumed yesterday included looking that up. Also looking up how rage worked in the game, but that didn't help me as much.

I resumed to more lag. It made the scene where Sara woke up Shadowheart borderline painful. We lingered around the beach to try to loot the various corpses, though they didn't have much on them. When I read the letter on the fisher from his sweetheart with their plans to run together, I left it on him. It would've been too sad to take it away.

I made Sara rage again when we ran into more imps, and this time made sure to do it right before she attacked. I figured that would have to make it stick. The battle didn't last long enough for me to be sure it had, though. After meeting Astarion and leveling up, I decided to call it for the day.

When I resumed this morning, my first thought was to find Gale. I'd seen his first being found, but the speedrunning streamer I was watching then accidentally killed him instead of freeing him. Also, I hadn't paid close enough attention to know which direction to go in. And I went in the wrong one, and instead came to the entrance of the Emerald Grove, requiring me to do the goblin fight with only three people in my party.

I may have bungled it during that fight, too. The three of us did at least take down the bugbear, but Wyll and the NPCs killed most of the rest on their own. I never even got Sara in melee with anyone, which meant she couldn't rage without losing her needed ability to throw firebolts.

It still felt awkward to then use the waypoint to effectively go backwards to where we'd started, but while I'm willing to let loot go, I was very determined to at least get Gale. But I was tired enough of it I cheated and looked up exactly where he was. Even then, I fumbled trying to get to said coordinates, initially getting convinced we had to break through the locked door. And then I couldn't figure out how to get Astarion to pick the lock. I walked him right up to him, clicked multiple times, even went into his inventory, right-clicked on his thieves tools, and selected "Use." No result. Then I consulted the map for a way around, clicked on the trail above the rocks to get the party to go there, and watched Sara stride right past the telltale sigil on her way to where I'd clicked.

Knowing Gale could get killed at this point, I was tempted to further cheat and look at how to safely extricate him. But ultimately, I didn't have to, at least once Sara critted on her strength check and pulled him out easily. The dice roll lag wasn't even too painful. The ensuing interaction lag, on the other hand, was very annoying. Though it did give me time to admire Gale's looks, and also Sara's reaction to him. It might be my imagination, but I swear she looked flustered. She might be feeling a little something for two of her party members so far.

Except I've got the uneasy feeling I should've retrieved Lae'zel already, and by then I was genuinely tempted to go back to the Emerald Grove without doing so. Which I took as a sign I was done for the day again, so I continued only long enough to level Gale up. For his two new spells, I took burning hands and Tasha's hideous laughter. I don't know if the latter was the most prudent choice, but I want the amusement factor.

Homework will include looking up how to pick locks in the game, exactly, and probably also where Lae'zel is, exactly. I want to get back to the Grove, especially now that I know Wyll's there. He was the one companion where I had no idea when he was going to show up, and the entrance he made into the game was really quite dashing.

[smollobsession]

17.12.23

So a lot has happened... this will just be written as I remember things :D I've restarted online Korean lessons! The new teacher seems lovely. The goal now is to also open the grammar book soon :D

This weekend I've done a lot of clothes shopping. 2xjeans, bras, shirt, 4xleggins, 2xsweatpants... i spent so much money :( but i really ran out of clothes. shirts i have plenty of but trousers and dresses all went through a lot.

I also put away clothes I don't fit right now. I bought 2 more boxes at pepco and emptied my wardrobe of things I don't need, put them up in the loft. I also threw away 10 bulky bras that were taking up so much space and that I no longer wear.

Speaking of the loft, i finally took the sheets off the bed and washed them. ... now waiting patiently for step 2 :P putting them back on and wanting to sleep there.

And, speaking of clothes I don't fit. Weekends are a problem. I'm eating well during the week and then the weekend comes and I undo it all. I definitely need to plan on Friday and do the shopping so I stop eating sweets and ordering lunches that aren't good for me but uh >< the struggle is real.

I was supposed to meet Mr.I last weekend but I cancelled it because I felt sick and then this week he did the same so we pushed it to next year :D

I made plans with E to go to Dresden next weekend. Tickets purchased :) it'll be just a day trip but I haven't been there in the 8 years I've lived here!

Another place I hadn't visited before that everyone talks about is Stromovka. But a few weeks ago I finally went there :) The weather was horrible for the trip back but it was quite lovely for the actual walk. I took some pics I really like. I also slipped on the ice and fell down in front of a lady with a dog - the dog loved skating on that ice lol :D

I haven't been able to participate in any more protests because they overlap with my work hours, but I did manage to do two things.

I went to a Doctors Without Borders fundraiser for Gaza and bought 800czk worth of things. I got some pins and a little wallet that I sent to L as a part of our server's Xmas exchange. I forgot to put the MSF pin in the envelope but that's not a big problem for reasons I'll explain later. I am more sad that I didn't make the envelope more fun but I realized too late that if I didn't send it straight away, I wouldn't do it until a week later and that was toooo late.

I also paid for a 2gb esim that I hope will go through to someone in Palestine who needs it.

At the fundraiser I also bought a watermelon hairclip for my watermelon loving friend V. I will give it to her in February when... we go to Singapore and Cambodia together!

After some waiting all flight tickets have been purchased and all accommodation booked. The rest we have to do closer to the date - visas, sim cards, tour bookings etc.

I'm excited :D I'll see L there and bring her the pin - i find it funny because it's in English and Czech so I think it's be hilarious for her to wear it in Singapore. And I'll pick up the season's greetings I ordered through her <3 (which I have yet to pay for!)

We are, by total accident, landing on CNY so we're definitely going to Chinatown first night to experience THAT :D and then one day I'll revisit some parts with V, see some new things in the city too. And 2 days I plan to spend on the beach and doing the treetops walk finally! I'm kinda hoping D will be able to join us but it's unsure as of yet.

And then we're going to Cambodia which will be one big temples viewing trip and genocide museum sadness and food extravaganza. I'm wondering if I should invite E to this trip...

But! I'm trying to not be too excited so for now that's all I'll say about the trip :D

During the absolute worst of weather I finally went to that shop near Mirak to get A the bag. Luckily they still had the white one (sadly no black one for me :( ). On my way back I stopped by the Christmas Market and had an overpriced trdelnik and a nice raid with only 4 people that we won in the last second. It was fun!

I finally finished sense8 a few weeks ago. I have to say it was a bit more boring than I remember it but ok, I'm glad I finished it.

I also finished MDWAP :( I did find out that FINALLY The Unbelievable Truth hosted by David Mitchell is on a podcast so I'm listening to that now, and I've downloaded Dan Carlin's Hardcore Histories, all the free ones, for the next listening. I'm just glad I'm enjoying things again lol.

I watched some music shows - aaa and a gayo, idk which one :D - with the server and had a lot of fun. Han and Seungmin running back to the stage when 3racha FINALLY WON AN AWARD was so much fun :D

And of course, Dan and Phil are back and they are not only doing their Christmas videos but also giving me reasons to share squees with T on whatsapp :D

Feeling some kinda way about all these people right now O.O

[everythingelseisextra]

Wow. I was so excited for this and it certainly paid off. The start to their relationship is so sweet and soft, I'm absolutely enamored with pre-war Tommy and his boyishness. You write him exceptionally well and I love the conflict that the reader is in. She's tough as nails, you can tell, and she seems like she's dead-set on staying with Tommy, even though both of them are completely oblivious to their feelings with each other.

This whole fic is artwork. The symbolism, the development, and the family dynamics all come together to create a chaotic and restless atmosphere. Here are my favorite parts. Sorry for the mini-essay, I have a bad habit of getting too invested in the fanfics I read.

It’s the first time anyone has ever given him something without asking for it. I LOVE this. It tells us so much about young Tommy. This and the casual reference to his father hitting him all really put into perspective the childhood he had. A lack of stability and kindness is very prevalent in him, and you make it clear that, though he's intelligent enough to make up for it, there's damage that's been done.

“N-no…” your hair falls messily as you shake your head, picking on your nail beds. This line stood out to me as someone who has struggled with my mental health. Perhaps I'm looking too deep into it, but this looks like a sign of early anxiety, and, if you read any of my fanfiction, you'll know that I'm a big fan of mental health representation in fanfics. It's also very well shown instead of told.

He always came to visit when you were seventeen but never looked at you. As if that made it better. There's moments in this fic that really make it clear how twisted being a woman in the early 1900s was. Clearly, men try to convince themselves that what they're doing to the women they purchase is fair, (which in some contexts, maybe, but not in this one), and the reader is at a clear disadvantage to her situation.

We’re all whores, Tom. We just sell different parts of ourselves. Mine just so happens to be my body. I shit you not, this actually gave me chills. Hearing Tommy's words spoken to him from the mouth of someone who truly understands what it means absolutely stunned me. I love how you've worked it into your writing and it got me so excited to see how you'll weave more of canon into your fics.

“They’ve insisted on it for years,” Arthur shrugged. “I don’t think they’re aware,” This is just funny. I can completely imagine young Tommy being so caught up that he can't even realize the depth of his own emotion. The entire family knowing before they do is hysterical to me.

Thanks so much for tagging me in this, I'm sorry it took me so long to reblog it, I had a busy day today.

Toy Horses Outside the Brothel

You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn’t realize that war could change you both. (angst, depictions of abuse, poverty, prostitution, canon-typical themes, death, war, time jumps)

A/N: This is dedicated to @runnning-outof-time​! Thank you for giving me guidelines and for reading my work before anybody else did. You’re amazing and I wish I could write Tommy as good as you do. 

Want to be tagged?   navigation | main master lists | PROTECTION MASTERLIST

BIRMINGHAM, 1900:

Tommy first met her when his father took him to the docks. Arthur Shelby Sr. told impressionable young Tommy that there were kids he could play with by the docks. Tommy agreed, wanting to impress his father. On the way there, right outside of what looked like a house with many rooms, was her.

You were lonely and something in Tommy told him to play with you instead. Besides, the boys were too big around the docks. Arthur Shelby left him right outside the establishment and threw a shilling to you. You picked it up, stuffed it in your pocket, and looked at him.

He smiled at you widely, a tooth missing from his mouth and extended his hand towards you.

“I’m Tommy,” he said. You reciprocate the gesture, telling him your name and shaking his hand. You were more reserved, Tommy noticed. He was so used to the ruckus in their house that he expected every child to be as energetic as them. “Why did my father give you money?”

“He wants me to play with you while he’s inside,” you said. “I don’t have many toys but…I do have this,” you said, showing him your wooden horse toy. They were your prized possession, one of the few gifts that your father sent when he promised the world to your mother.

Keep reading

[jcwriting]

Written in the Stars

summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.

pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader

genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)

word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped

warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!

authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)

(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)

You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.

It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.

From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.

Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.

Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.

He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.

So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.

“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.

Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.

The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.

“What did you just say?”

You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”

“How do you know I was in my rut?”

“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”

Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”

You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”

Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”

“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”

Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.

(It had become your favorite sound.)

For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.

Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.

“What did you just say?”

“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”

Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”

Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”

“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.

“Jungkook!”

He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.

“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.

“Are you going to kiss me?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”

“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”

Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.

“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”

“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”

You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”

“Do you?”

Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”

He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.

By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.

Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.

“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”

“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”

“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”

“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”

“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”

“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.

“Do you know what a true mate is?”

Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.

Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.

“But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.

“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”

“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”

You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.

By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.

“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”

With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”

Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”

“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”

Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”

Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”

Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”

Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”

“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.

Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.

“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”

You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”

Two years passed.

Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.

Except, for one tiny thing.

While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.

It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.

The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.

He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.

This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.

While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.

By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.

This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.

You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.

Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.

Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.

A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.

That’s what you felt now, fear.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.

“Enough, Taehyung.”

“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”

“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”

“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”

“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”

“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”

“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”

“Like what?” Jungkook spat.

“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”

“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.

“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”

“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.

“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.

“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”

“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”

Oh.

That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.

Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.

You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.

Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.

It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.

“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.

You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.

It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.

Well, that was a lie.

Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep.  Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.

I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.

You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?

“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.

“Why do you say that?”

You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”

Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.

By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.

Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”

“Christ, you look like shit.”

You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”

Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.

“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”

Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”

“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.

Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”

Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”

“Take however long you need.”

It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?

Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.

His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.

But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.

Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.

The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.

With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.

When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.

Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.

“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”

“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”

It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.

“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.

“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”

“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”

You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”

“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense.  It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.

“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.

“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”

“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”

“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”

“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”

But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.

“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”

“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”

You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.

“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.

“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”

“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.

“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.

“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”

It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.

“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”

“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”

Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.

Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.

You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.

“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.

“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”

Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”

With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.

It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.

The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.

He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”

“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”

“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”

Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”

“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.

“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.

“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.

Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”

“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.

“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”

Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”

Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”

“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”

Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”

“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.

“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.

It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.

“Love you forever, my darling girl.”

©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

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convenience store stranger | suna rintarou

pairing: suna x f!reader  word count, genre: 2.1k words, college au. fluff. another meet cute story lol.  warning: none  summary: in which your late shifts become less boring and more interesting when a cute stranger stumbles in at 2 AM.  a/n: my first time writing for suna god im scared but i really liked how this turned out!! 

The first time he meets you happens on one of his late night convenience store runs. It was exams season and Suna’s been pulling all-nighter after all-nighter. To say he was exhausted would’ve been an understatement. 

He’s barely making it through on the third night and if he didn’t take a break soon, he was sure he’d have passed out on his desk. With his mind hazy from reading too many words and trying to understand a semester’s worth of lessons in one night, he decides to stand up and get some fresh air. 

Which is how he found himself currently standing at aisle four of the only convenience store that was still open near his apartment. He scans the rack for something that can wake him and his brain up. He doesn’t know how long he’s been standing but he could definitely feel eyes burning holes in the back of his head. 

He settles on a pack of jelly sticks and a cup of spicy instant noodles and heads towards the counter. You mutter a greeting when he reaches the cashier and begin scanning his items. 

When he hands over the cash for payment, your fingers brush with his cold ones, making you recoil harshly as if he was repulsing.

“Something wrong?” He laughs when he sees your reaction. “I know I look like a mess now but I won’t bite you.” He bends his knees slightly, tilting his head to get a look at your embarrassed face.

“No, I’m sorry.” You avoid his intense gaze, continuing to pack his purchase. When you look at him, he’s still staring with his piercing eyes that it almost takes your breath away. 

Shaking your head to bring yourself to reality, you give him his items. “Your hands felt cold and I was just shocked.” You feel that same electricity sparking between you again when he takes the bag from you. “I.. well.. thank you. Have a great evening.”

“It’s 2 AM,” Suna chuckles and you sigh before correcting yourself and bowing to him in goodbye. “See you around,” he shouts over his back as he walks out the door. It was the first time he saw you in that store and he was sure it wasn’t going to be the last. 

The second time he’d actually planned it according to your shift. If his past trips to the store were anything to go by, he’d learned that you always took the evening shift. It was something he discovered after being called out by your co-worker on the third time that he restlessly looked around the store during a visit. 

He should be on his bed, phone in his hand as he mindlessly scrolled until he fell asleep. But with the memory of his interaction with you lingering on his mind, he wanted to see you.

“Hey, got time for a customer?” He greets the moment he steps inside the empty convenience store. You look up from the book that you were reading and quickly stand to welcome him. “What are you reading?” 

Hiding the book from his view, you retort, “Aren’t you going to buy something?” 

He grins, taking in your tired disposition and the bags that had formed under your eyes before retreating to the shelves. When he returns, he slides over a can of energy drink, iced coffee, and a large bag of chips. 

You assume he’d leave immediately once he’s paid for everything. You certainly didn’t expect him to take out the coffee and give it to you. 

“This is for you.” He opens his own drink and leans by the counter. “Doesn’t it ever get boring here? I mean it’s midnight and you’re alone. I’m betting not many people even drop by at this time.” He faces the door, crossing his arms around his chest and staring at both of your reflections at the glass. 

Worn out from your classes in the day, you take his coffee offering, instantly feeling the rush of caffeine flow through your veins and waking you up. “The job pays relatively well. Besides I can’t really work in the mornings, I have uni.”

“So you’re a college student too.” He turns around and extends a hand out to you. “I’m Suna Rintarou.”

You introduce yourself as you shake hands with him. And as soon as pleasantries were exchanged, he immediately launched into a story about how his earlier day went. He was a natural conversationalist and despite this being your first time talking with him, you didn’t feel an ounce of awkwardness. You didn’t know what it was about him but his presence made you feel comfortable. 

You learned about what he was studying (to your surprise, Psychology), how he spends his weekends playing volleyball (he was a middle blocker and an excellent one at that, he boasted), and how he ended up here during the night he first saw you (the all-nighter went well and he passed all his exams). 

He rips open the chips he bought and offers you some as you lay your story before him. He munches as he listened to you rant about how you loathed your course (Business Management) and the many case studies and papers you had to do each day. He nods his head in understanding as you explain why you needed this part-time job (to pay for apartment fees). 

You were having so much fun in his company that you didn’t notice the time pass by. (He arrived to the store at 12:32 AM. The clock on the wall now reads 2:32 AM). And for the duration of his stay, you were surprised that no one ever came by. He only ever left your side when a taxi driver walked in. 

Suna steered clear from the counter and kept his distance as you did your job. From your peripheral, you could see that he watched you like a hawk from the side and it made you somehow conscious. When the customer exited, you playfully threw a tissue at him, 

“I couldn’t concentrate when you were standing there and looking at me like that!” 

He went back to his position but this time, he leaned close with his hands on the counter. “Like what?"  

Well how could you say to him that you thought he looked effortlessly hot in his sweatshirt and track pants? And was that an adorably messy bedhead? How could you say that you liked the teasing smile that he’d been giving you throughout the night?  

You chuckle and shake your head, “Nothing.” You reach for the book you were reading prior his arrival and took your seat. “Don’t you have classes tomorrow? You should go back.”

“Do you not want me around anymore?” 

“It’s not that, I…”

He cuts you off, “Good, then it’s settled. I’m not going anywhere. I like talking with you too much to go back home. Let me entertain you some more.” He sits down at the chair on one of the tables near the counter and then goes back to chatting with you. 

Since that night, Suna had been scheduling more trips to the convenience store. Sometimes, he’d really only visit to bother you. At times, he’d bring his books and laptop with him so he could work on a paper while you restocked the shelves and cleaned around. On rare occasions, he’d help you out on a business plan and the customers who’d enter the store would be amused at the sight of you and him huddled behind the counter with your serious thinking faces on. 

He’d become a part of your life that it felt unnerving not to have him around on your shifts. And it certainly showed on your face how disappointed and heartbroken you were when consecutive nights passed without his visits. Your co-worker even called you out on it. 

“So where’s the cutie been?” She asked one time when the two of you were at the back lounge while you logged in for your shift. You groan at the nickname she gave him and she laughs at you.

“How would I know?” 

“Don’t you guys talk almost every day and night?”

“Only on nights that he visits me.” You pause, thinking about the possibilities why he could’ve stopped coming. And before you knew it, you were ranting. “God, are we even friends? I don’t know his number. Did he ghost me? Is this considered ghosting? It’s been a week. I’m scared I did or said something.” 

She’s watching you pace around the room. “Maybe he got bored of me. Or maybe he realized I’m not really worth his time and dipped. Sleeping is much better than hanging out with me at 1 AM anyway.”

You’re stopped in your tracks when she suddenly grabs your shoulders. “Overthinking is not a good look on you.” She makes you take deep breaths to calm down. “I’m sure he’s just busy right now. He’ll visit again soon.” 

“I don’t know why I’m being like this.” 

The look she gives you is incredulous, her mouth gaping wide at your statement. “Are you serious?” 

“What?” You ask, not anticipating the next words that would come from her. 

“It’s obvious that you like him.” 

The next time you see him was on campus. You don’t know how long it’s been since he last spent time with you on your shift. (Though if you were counting, you were definitely sure that it’s been two weeks and three days since then.) 

You tried not to think too much about what his absence could mean but the pang in your heart never left. Those two weeks that he didn’t show up allowed you some time to think about your conversation with your friend. You like him. 

Back then, you were too quick to shut down the idea. Denying any ounce of feeling for the boy as you saw him as no more than someone who had too much time on his hands to bother you on your shifts. A good friend is what you specifically used to defend your relationship with him. 

So then why was it that your heart was beating so rapidly as Suna waved at you from across the cafeteria? Why couldn’t you stop smiling as you watched him make his way to your table and sit down beside you?

“Hey there.” He slings his arms around and pulls you for a side hug. “Long time no see.” 

You almost couldn’t hear him over the loud thumping of your heart in your ears. He’s still smiling and waiting for you to reply. “Yeah, been a while. I’ve gotten the peace and quiet back in my shifts.” 

He breaks out in laughter while opening a snack bar. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to stop by. I just came out from a major presentation that I’ve been preparing for during the past weeks. And guess what?” 

You perk your eyebrows at his question. “What?” 

“Our group did great.” He raises a hand for a high-five and you indulge him. “The teacher liked our slides and our analysis of the topic. Ah, I feel so good right now!” He leans back with his hands behind his head, but he suddenly jerks. 

“We should go out!” Suna grabs your hands and looks at you expectantly. “You’re free the whole day tomorrow right? You’re not working the shift? Let’s celebrate. It’s my treat!” 

Feeling overwhelmed by his invitation and his overall excitedness, you laugh and pull back. “Calm down, Suna. I don’t know about tomorrow.” 

“Why? Are you busy?”

“Not really but..” 

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem.” He tucks a loose hair behind your ear, leaning close with his voice barely over a whisper, “It’s perfect. I’ve wanted to take you on a date for a long time now.” 

“What?” You stare at him wide-eyed. 

“Come on, you’ve never thought about us?” He finds the situation entertaining. Your flustered reaction reminds him of the night that he met you. 

“Why do you think I’ve been coming to the convenience store when I could be sleeping at that time? I like being around you. My day doesn’t feel complete if I don’t at least see you or tell you about my day or listen to you rant about the latest episode of your favorite series.”

You like him. 

“Go out with me.” He kisses the back of your hand. “Please?” 

The corners of your lips unconsciously curves up and Suna sends your heart doing somersaults when he says something about how he’s finally got to see the beautiful smile he’s been wanting to see for weeks. 

Your friend was right. You do like him.  

[journiland]

9/11/2022

(Long post!)

I had a great time, and learned a lot, at the WV Beekeepers fall conference. It was also so great to see my friends from Women Beekeepers of WV. (The *best* group ever.) Since it's a virtual group, I usually only get to see everyone at the annual retreat.

Also had some great conversations with people I hadn't met yet.

I realized that because I was unpopular in high school, I'm always shocked and can't believe when people actually like me. (*I* generally like myself okay, but feel like an alien amongst humans.) A lady there paid me the greatest compliment. She heard I had a grandkid, and said, "I thought you were in your twenties! I was thinking of trying to set you up with my son!" No way I look that young, but I appreciate that she thought that well of me.

Bought myself a Women's Beekeepers of WV mug (made with WV foraged clay, apparently):

Conference included t-shirt, and got seeds at the seed swap:

My favorite booklets in our packs:

My favorite breakout group was Accessible Beekeeping. Gave me a lot of food for thought. I think there are things I can do to make taking care of my bees less difficult for me. I love my bees, but suiting up and standing in the hot sun, moving heavy boxes, wreaks havoc with the Chronic Fatigue. I barely make it through, and then come in and collapse the rest of the day. Way too often, I put it off because I can't face the exhaustion.

If you know someone who would benefit, search YouTube or a podcast player for "Accessible Beekeeping," or go to www.accessiblebeekeeping.org

(or just because it's interesting - did you know that there are blind beekeepers?)

In that light, I went to the Layens hive breakout group next. No heavy boxes to lift, but I wonder if the frames would be hard to repeatedly lift. (I have weak arms and poor stamina.) I'm leaning towards a long (horizontal) Langstroth, but insulated like a Layens.

And my best purchase....

These are quilt boxes for winter. I've been planning to make some, but they were $45 for the two, and I saved myself so many days of stress: researching, planning, buying materials, procrastinating because I'm too tired, and then feeling guilty about it - besides the actual build. I felt like a weight was off my shoulders and was so happy to have them. They were made by one of the county bee groups who make woodenware and sell at great prices - they're some of the nicest people!

Stayed at a friend's house the night in between - got to pet some adorable!

I only got about 6 hours of sleep the night before conference, and maybe 4 the night I was there - my friend's house was very comfortable, but my insomnia is bad enough without new surroundings. I was pretty much a zombie on Saturday - someone asked if I was melting, I slid so horizontal in my chair.

The drive home was rainy but uneventful. Was dead exhausted at that point, so took care of animals and was in bed within half an hour, 8pm. Didn't get out of bed until 10am (though with the insomnia I was awake off and on about half the time).

So glad I made it. 💙

[stayevildarling]

heyy! could you maybe do a love at first sight with mildred ratched, the setting could be anywhere. thank you!!

Mildred Ratched x Reader- First sight

word count: 7.3k

warnings: smoking, alcohol, fluff

A/N: this is my first time writing Mildred 👉🏻👈🏻

''Finally'' you think to yourself after you just arrived at your hotel a few minutes ago and after signing some documents and receiving your key card, you dropped everything in your room and headed straight for the outside area. As you arrived about half an hour ago, the bus from the airport taking an eternity, you saw the beach area with a bar and also what seems to be a terrace with some lounge chairs overlooking the beautiful ocean in the distance.

Walking out the big doors of the hotel and towards the terrace, hoping to get a good look at the ocean and having a few drinks because after all, you did book an all-inclusive holiday at this resort. As soon as you walk towards the only remaining chair by the bar, you feel the cool breeze from the ocean but also the heat of the afternoon sun. As you close your eyes for a moment, you hear the music playing quietly from the speakers of the hotel but also the waves crashing in the distance sending a shiver down your spine because you had been looking forward to this holiday for a while now, desperatly needing it as life seemed to exhaust you in a way it has never before and you were definitiely due for a break.

''Good afternoon Miss, would you like for me to take you to a seat and bring you some refreshments?'' a man approaches you, dressed in a hotel uniform and a polite smile plastered on his face.

''Um yes sure, I was actually just going to sit over there'' you say and point at the empty chair but he looks down before looking back up at you and explaining  ''I am terribly sorry Miss but that chair is reserved for someone already, how about I show you to one over here?'' he asks and points towards a row of empty chairs by the pool. Slightly confused and irritated by the fact someone would book a chair, you simply ignore it and smile politely at the staff member.

''Sure'' you say with a smile and follow him to one of the loungers and it seems more convenient because you can actually lie down this way and the fact you aren't far from the pool and bar seems even better.

''So what drink might I offer you miss?'' he asks politely and after thinking about it for a moment and glancing over at the bar and some drinks on a board you say ''Tequilla Sunrise please''.  He smiles politely and nods ''Of course Miss'' before leaving.

Absent-mindedly you scan your surroundings and you see the beautiful afternoon sun slowly starting to set in the distance and as your eyes scan the waiter coming over with your drink a few moments later, you see something out of the corner of your eyes. For a second you take your eyes away from the thing that caught your eye but something in your mind tells you to look again. You see a woman now sitting in the chair that you initially planned on sitting and despite her back being turned to you and that you are unable to see her face, you are even more curious as to why she wanted that seat specifically as she seems to be here alone and without company. As you scan her features you see her long red hair in a ponytail and that she is wearing a short sleeved shirt with flower prints on it.

Before you get to scan her any further, the waiter hands you your drink with a polite smile and the words ''Here you go miss'' and you smile before retrieving it and mumbling the words ''Thank you'' but barely able to keep your eyes off the mysterious stranger sitting a few chairs away from you. Shaking your head you remind yourself you didn't come here to observe strangers and waste your thoughts about why they booked a chair or not and so you simply lay back, sip on your drink and close your eyes, taking in the sun hoping you would get a little tan and also the peace and quiet.

Your mind can't help but wander to the reason that initially brought you here after your old job exhausted you so much and you couldn't handle it any longer. People often told you that you should take some time off and relax but you weren't just exhausted from working so much you were exhausted from life. Never did you want that life of working a job that paid the bills but that would make you dread the thought of going in every single day. Every sunday you would sit in your apartment and worry about going in the next day and just daydreaming about a different kind of life, travelling to all the destinations that you had seen in the newspaper before and just escape the nine to five life and capitalism. Growing up you had always been a little different, always having different dreams than your family, never wanting to get a job like that or maybe not even get a job and simply relying on a man, like your sisters. You never wanted a man in the first place, you wanted a pure and a true kind of love with a beautiful woman and travelling to all the beautiful destinations of the world before settling down somewhere with the girl of your dreams.

Momentarily your attention adverts back to the chair only to see it is now quite some time later and most people are gone and so is the woman in the chair. Huffing, you finish your drink and bring the empty glass to the bartender ''Another one Miss?'' he asks but you shake your head with a polite smile before tipping him and saying ''No I am good thank you'' and with those words you walk into the building again, passing by the hotel lobby and getting into the elevator.

Just before the door closes you hear an unfamiliar voice say ''Just my usual chair for tomorrow please'' and the staff member replying ''Of course Miss Ratched''. As the elevator goes up a few floors your eyebrows furrow for a second because despite never being in this place and not knowing anyone here, the voice sounded familiar but you don't know the woman at least not yet. ''At least I know her name now Ratched'' you think to yourself as you walk into your hotel room and drop on your bed because even though mostly doing travelling today and arriving here, you are tired and sleep quickly washes over you.

The next morning you are woken up by the sound of suitcases from people either arriving or leaving the hotel resort but it doesn't bother you in any way, being woken up by them as you wake up to the sun just rising and the soft sound of the ocean in the distance. As you look at the time you realize that it's now just turning eight am which means they are serving breakfast now. After stretching and closing your eyes just for a moment longer, you walk over to the little balcony attached to your room and step outside. Taking in the sounds of the ocean and the smell of both coffee and the delicious breakfast that is being served downstairs. For a moment you debate whether you might be allowed to have breakfast outside because the weather is so lovely, not too hot but sunny.

As you overlook the pool area you see that not a lot of people are outside yet but something catches your attention. You see the little bar area and loungechairs and that a few of them are already occupied by some families or couples. However, you also see the same woman in the same chair from yesterday and suddenly you remember her voice and name ''Ratched'' you think to yourself. She is sitting in the same position, overlooking the ocean and you see one of the waiters taking some juice and a platter with breakfast over to where she is sitting. For some reason you can't help but scan her features and you notice that she is wearing a long loose skirt and a green blouse with a belt. Her red hair is styled the same as yesterday and she is wearing a brown hat. Still you haven't actually seen her face but something about this woman interests you

''Must be the way she dresses'' you think to yourself because you don't often come across woman that put effort into their appearance and everyone from your old home town dressing and looking the exact same. Finally taking your eyes off the woman, you decide to get changed and take a shower as you didn't make it anymore yesterday after being so tired. It takes you less than an hour to get ready with showering, drying your hair and curling it slightly, putting on a jumpsuit that you had purchased for this holiday and some sandals. You grab your purse with your key card and a few other essentials and make your way towards the elevators and down to the hotel lobby.

As the elevator door opens you are greeted by a staff member ''Good morning Miss'' he says and smiles politely and you return the smile and mumble ''Good morning'' and he asks you ''Would you like me to serve you breakfast outside? or show you to our dining hall?'' and after debating about it a moment, the mysterious stranger sitting in that chair outside you quickly make the decision to have it outside.

''Outside sounds lovely'' you reply and he nods and takes you outside to the same lounge chair you sat in yesterday. ''Here is our menu Miss'' he says and hands you a card. After studying it for a moment you decide on a fruit platter and some juice to start your day healthy and light. It takes them moments to prepare it and bring it over to where you are sitting. ''There you go Miss'' he tells you and puts the food on the little table next to you. As soon as the taste of the fresh fruit hits your senses you close your eyes and hold in a little moan because this is everything that you have wanted when you decided on going on a holiday in the first place.

After finishing your food you make up your mind to relax a little and read the book that you had brought here and actually planned on doing something else but relaxing. Opening the book you drown in the pages and words and the world inside the book, the characters and places as if you are a character in the book. What you missed is that in the exact moment you opened your book and pulled it closer to your face, the mysterious stranger with red hair got up and walked right past you, on her way to her room to change into a swimming suit as she planned on going swimming. Because you are occupied with your book you don't notice any of these things or the fact you have yet to see her face and the universe seems to always interfear as soon as the opportunity of seeing each other is close.

Only after about a hundred pages you decide it's time for a break and time for a swim as it is really hot outside now and no one seems to be in the pool anymore, everyone now on their way to lunch or an activity outside the hotel. Thankfully you already planned ahead and put your swimming costume on underneath your jumpsuit so with one swift motion you take the piece of clothing off and put it neatly on your chair. After taking your sunglasses off and applying some sunscreen you walk over to the pool and you scan your surroundings. No one is here anymore not even your mysterious stranger and you wonder what she is up to before shaking the thought away and enjoying the cold water on your skin and swimming a few rounds.

For the remainder of the day you relax and take turns with reading your book, swimming occasionally and tanning plus enjoying a few cocktails that the nice bartender refills whenever you finish one. As the evening approaches, you decide to go back to your room to take another shower and get dressed, wanting to actually enjoy the buffet tonight and eat inside. After getting ready and checking your outfit in the mirror one more time, you feel slightly anxious as most people in this resort aren't here alone and either with their partners and family and you fear sitting on yourself slightly. However, you quickly shake the thought away and admire the dress you had bought for this holiday and you make your way into the large dining room, filled with tables of food and a kitchen where chefs prepare fresh dishes.

''Hello Miss'' a waitress pulls you out of your thoughts ''Room number please'' she asks and you reply ''301'' before she takes you to a table, overlooking the ocean. ''Can I offer you one of our fine wines this evening?'' she asks and despite you not really being a wine kind of girl you accept anyway. After wandering around the large buffet for a while you decide on a variety of salads and some pasta that the chefs prepared freshly for you with your chosen ingredients.

''Room number please'' you hear the same waitress say as you walk back to your table, where you find some wine and water. ''302 Ratched'' you hear the same familiar voice and name and instantly your head snaps the other way because you are desperate at this point to take a look at the mysterious woman's features. But as you turn around the waitress is already leading her to another table further away on the other end of the dining hall and you frown slightly. ''302'' the number keeps replaying in your mind and you can't believe that you and the redhead are neighbors after all and all the coincidenes so far.

After dinner you walk through the hotel lobby and you debate for a moment whether to go back to your room or whether to stay outside a little bit maybe taking a walk down to the ocean. In the end you decide to go to the bar by the pool considering it's already late and you wouldn't want to get lost on the way to the ocean.

You are greeted by the same bartender and a polite smile ''Hello Miss, what can I get you?'' he asks and after thinking about it for a moment you decide to order one of your usuals ''A magharita please'' you say with a polite smile and look down at your lap while he turns around and prepares your drink.

''Sounds lovely, make that another one please?'' you suddenly hear a familiar voice again, the same voice belonging to the mysterious redhead and apparently your neighboor in this hotel. Slowly your head turns in her direction, to your right where she is standing before taking a seat. She is wearing the same outfit from earlier this day but a different shirt and no hat. For the first time in these two days you had been here, you see her face and it's even more beautiful than you imagined. The first thing you see is her bone structures and how there isn't a single flaw in her features. She has dark eyebrows and beautiful red lips and the fancy looking earrings take your eyes off her face for a second. Quickly your eyes wander to her face again only to lock with her brown eyes and for a moment you fear you would never be able to take your eyes off her luminous and penetratring orbs.

''Mildred Ratched'' she introduces herself with a polite smile before the waiter interrupts your moment and places two drinks in front of you two. ''Y/N Y/L/N'' you quickly introduce yourself and thank the waiter with a polite smile before he walks off to the other end of the bar, where some people are sitting. ''Cheers'' the woman whos name you just learnt is Mildred says and raises her glass ''Cheers'' you mumble and yet again your eyes lock and in this moment everything starts spinning and you feel as if your heart might just beat out of your chest.

You feel something in your heart that you have never before, this sense of home and belonging and that the woman sitting next to you and focussing her attention on the drink again, is meant to be someone more as a distant stranger that you would meet at a hotel resort and part ways again. As you locked eyes with her for the first time it felt like your heart whispered ''That's the one'' and even though your brain is reminding you that things like love at first sight don't exist, the feeling in your stomach and chest proves otherwise.

''So when did you arrive here?'' you ask curiously, trying to make some conversation because you would hate for her to just get up and leave again and for her to walk out of your life again. ''The day before yesterday, you?'' she asks and you set your drink down before replying ''Just yesterday'' and the redhead simply nods.

''Are you here alone?'' the woman asks and you feel a little bit of relief that she is now the one asking the questions and keeping the conversation going. ''Yes I was due for a relaxing holiday'' you say and huff slightly ''Job or family?'' she asks and you furrow your eyebrows for a moment not understanding the question ''I mean it seems like you are running from something, I can tell'' she elaborates and for a moment you debate whether she is a therapist or something because how on earth is she able to read you this well already? ''Um my job I guess, I actually quit my job and I don't have any family'' you blurt out without thinking further and you look at Mildred for a moment, scared that you had just scared her away with that confession.

She simply nods and adverts her gaze because you are unaware that her story is somewhat the same. ''Are you here with any family?'' you ask after a moment of silence and the redhead simply shakes her head before explaining ''Here on my own, I'm more of a lone wolf just exploring the world day by day'' she explains and yet again your heart gives you an unfamiliar feeling.

For the remainder of the night you and the now not so mysterious woman talk about small things, you learn that she used to work as a nurse but is now just travelling the world and you tell her a bit more about your past. The two of you stay by the bar until about two am before the waiter comes over ''Let me guess you are going to kick us out?'' Mildred jokes and you chuckle, feeling slightly tipsy.

He smiles politely and nods ''We are closing soon Miss, also we are having a theme evening here tomorrow night, mexican with some food, dances and drinks, would you like me to book either of you a table?'' and Mildred looks at you for a moment before replying ''Sure that sounds lovely'' and he turns his attention on you ''Yes please'' and with that you tip the waiter and you and Mildred walk back into the hotel.

''What floor are you on?'' she asks as you two get into the elevator and you reply ''We are neighbors'' with a grin. ''Oh'' Mildred says and presses the button with a little smirk. ''I guess I will see you tomorrow'' she says as you part ways and you take one more look at her before entering your hotel room and falling onto the bed, daydreaming some more about your redhead neighbor Mildred.

The next evening approaches faster than you originally intended or expected for that matter. You woke up with a headache in the morning so you decided to take things slow and have breakfast inside. After that you explored the hotel a bit more and bought some pain medication as you forgot bringing some and hoping your headache would soon pass because you are looking forward to the mexican themed party in the evening.

For the remainder of the day you sat in your usual position, sipping on some non alcoholic drinks this time and reading your book while occassionally glancing at Mildred sitting in her usual spot and throughout the day a few times your eyes would lock and smiles would be exchanged. ''Excuse me Miss the preparations for the theme party are starting now, if I might ask you inside for a while until preparations are finished?'' your usual waiter informs you and you smile and retrieve your things only to bump into Mildred on your way up to your room.

''Oh hello there'' she says as you also get in the elevator ''Hi'' you answer trying hard not to blush. ''Will I see you at the party later?'' you ask and Mildred chuckles before asking ''Have you forgotten that we both booked a table last night?'' and you blush in embarassment as a result of your headache making you forget some details about last night. ''Oh sorry yeah I- I had a bit of a headache this morning I think it made me forget some things'' you smile and scratch your neck nervously. ''Sprite usually does the trick with hangovers or any lemon soda'' Mildred explains, the nurse within her showing. ''Oh thank you well I will remember that for next time'' you say and wink before you both walk into your hotel rooms to get ready for your nights.

Getting ready and finding the right outfit seems to take you an eternity because you can't quite decide on the right outfit. After spreading every piece of clothing you own and brought here all over the bed, you finally decide on a nice loose dress with some flowers printed on it. You spray some perfume and apply a little makeup before taking your handbag and walking out the room.

You could already hear music coming from downstairs and the party in the outside area and saw people there. However, you are unsure where Mildred is and whether you should knock on her door but then again you haven't decided on coming here together so it's a bit awkward. In the end you figure she must be downstairs already and you walk into the outdoor area only for your eyes to be blessed with the beautiful redhead angel.

She is standing away from everyone, overlooking the ocean and smoking a cigarette. Her hair is slightly curled and looks shorter than usual as she styled it differently. She turns around slightly to flick her cigarette away and you see her lips are the usual red shade but her cheeks are covered with a slight blush and her eyes with some eyeshadow. For a second you get lost, seeing her in a beautiful orange-yellow dress that exposes her shoulders and chest and once again you notice her perfect structure and your heart flutters for a moment seeing her like that.

''Good evening Miss, may I show you to your table?'' your usual waiter asks and you simply nod and finally take your eyes off Mildred and her stunning appearance tonight. ''Here you go'' he says and points you to a small table overlooking the ocean. Suddenly you get this feeling of really wanting to actually walk down to the beach tonight after being here for a few days and not even getting out of the resort. The themed evening seems nice, there is decoration everywhere and by the bar there is a little buffet with different foods and a menu card with all sorts of drinks and cocktails. They have also put up a little stage where a band seems to be performing any moment.

As you scan your area you see Mildred, sitting a few tables away from your own and for a moment you scold yourself for not just asking to sit together tonight and enjoy the evening together instead of separately.

''I will have a magherita please'' you tell your usual waiter and chuckle slightly seeing his sombrero hat that definitely does not suit him. ''In a moment Miss'' he says and leaves again. At the same time you see Mildred ordering the same drink and you feel confident so you wave at her to greet her and she waves back with a little smile. Your attention focusses on the stage as the band starts playing some music. ''Here you go Miss'' he hands you your drink and just as you are about to take a sip, you see Mildred raising her glass at you and mouthing the words cheers. ''Cheers'' you mouth and her eyes on you send little tingles through your body, yet again.

After about half an hour or so and a few magheritas later you decide to get some food and you almost bump into Mildred standing next to you, also a plate in hand and putting some food on it. ''Are you enjoying your night?'' she asks and you smile politely and think to yourself ''It would be much more pleasant spending it with you'' but instead you simply nod. ''You know I was thinking- only if you don't mind of course- we could maybe'' you start stammering and Mildred simply looks at you with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile on her lips. ''Yes?'' she asks somewhat impatiently and teasingly. ''Maybe we could sit together?'' you ask putting together all the confidence you have in yourself.

''I thought you would never ask'' she says and you almost died when you hear those words and see her walk away with a little wink. Retireving your plate now filled with food, you walk back to your table and grab your bag and drink before clumpisly making your way over to hers, almost dropping half of the things in your hand in the process. You sit down slightly embarrassed, your cheeks covered in a slight red shade. ''So, are you enjoying your night so far?'' you ask trying to make conversation while you start to have some of your food ''Yes I enjoy the Mexican theme'' Mildred explains and also starts eating her food

The two of you small talk for ages while eating and sipping on your mageritas, Mildred tells you more about what it's like to be a nurse and some funny patient stories and you tell her a bit more about your life before coming here, without going into any of the sadder details.

Momentarily your eyes widen as you just bit into a very spicy pepper and Mildred looks at you with a worried expression, thinking you are about to choke because your face is bright red and eyes widened still. ''Y/N are you okay?'' she asks, putting her fork down.

Somehow you manage to actually swallow the damn thing but your mouth is on fire ''Pepper spicy'' you choke out and Mildred quickly gets up and walks to the bar to get you something. ''I need some milk'' she explains to the bartender and he looks at her slightly puzzled but hands it her anyway. ''Pepper'' she chuckles and he simply chuckles back and watches her walk over to your table, handing you the glass. You look at her a bit dumbfounded at the white liquid that is clearly milk ''Drink up or don't you trust me?'' she asks raising an eyebrow and in your slightly drunk state you take it quickly and as soon as the liquid hits your mouth, it instantly stops the tingly and hot feeling on your tongue.

''Thank you'' you breathe out, feeling slightly embarrassed. ''As you were saying'' you try and change the subject and Mildred looks down with a smile and it's certainly the most beautiful smile you have ever seen. For the rest of the night, you and her enjoy each other's company and talk mostly and enjoy the atmosphere, music and several tequila shots. ''You know Mildred I haven't actually been to the beach yet, can you believe that?'' you blurt out slightly slurring your words. ''Well me neither, how about we explore it together?'' the redhead asks and even though everything is spinning a little of course you agree. ''Like right now?'' you ask excited and the redhead simply replies

''Sure this music is starting to give me a headache anyway'' and you follow her while she leads the way through the busy crowd of people dancing to the music and onto a little path down to the beach. Thankfully there are little lights leading down the stairs so you don't trip over and die on your way there. ''It looks beautiful doesn't it?'' you mumble seeing the moonlight shining onto the ocean and soon after you feel your feet on the soft sand and you take off your sandals and hold them in your hand. The two of you start walking and you can't help but think to yourself ''With the moonlight like this she is even prettier'' but you don't dare to say those words out loud, not knowing enough about her situation yet.

Thinking about her situation you feel confident and slightly drunk so you ask ''Might I ask why you aren't here with a gentleman accompaning you?'' but quickly feel embarrassed so you add ''Let me guess haven't found mister right?'' but it only makes the situation more awkward.

Just in this moment as if the universe is trying to save you, Mildred trips over a stone and you catch her just in time, holding her up with her hand and your eyes momentarily locking. ''Thank you'' she says and smiles shily. ''No I haven't found the right person yet'' she replies to your initial question and with that you abandon the question and move on, listening to Mildred talk about her travelling.

''I once met this man in France and I thought he was trying to ask me out but in reality he wanted to sell me baguette'' Mildred tells you one of her stories and you can't help bursting out laughing, causing for the redhead to do the same.

''My my it's late and we had too much to drink'' Mildred eventually says after walking up and down the beach and back to the stairs. The walk back to the hotel is mostly quiet because of some people still partying and singing loudly by the lobby and even in the elevators. ''I really enjoyed tonight, thank you'' you tell her and she places a hand on your shoulder and whispers ''Me too darling, see you tomorrow'' before walking into her hotel room, leaving you on cloud nine with that petname.

It takes seconds for you to fall asleep and you only manage to quickly take off your dress before sleep consumes you and it's the same for your neighbor Mildred.

The next morning you wake up considerably late, just before lunch time with a pounding headache and a sick feeling in your stomach. ''Ugh I will never drink again'' you tell yourself because this is the second hangover you have had on this vacation, just this one is considerably worse. For a while you don't get out of bed and wait for the feeling to pass, looking out your balcony window and seeing the ocean in the distance.

Eventually you figure it's time to get out of bed and you manage to have a shower but with the lights turned off and the curtains shut because the light is irritating your vision and only making the headache stronger. After getting dressed in a shirt and some shorts for today, as you don't plan on doing anything major, you walk down to the hotel lobby.

''Hello Miss unfortunately you have just missed breakfast but we will be serving lunch soon'' one of the hotel staff members greet you but the thought of food makes you even more nauseas. ''No thank you I am alright, just looking to get something to drink'' you say and walk to the outdoor bar area. Mildred isn't in her usual chair so you assume she is still asleep as well ''What can I get you miss?'' the waiter asks and you order your drinks ''Could I have these to go?'' you ask

Feeling confident, you make your way to room number 302 with two sprite cans in your hand, remembering Mildred mentioning it helps with hangovers and she for sure would have one too right now. You hear a faint ''Come in'' and you furrow your eyebrows, confused whether she was expecting someone. Hesitantly you open the door and walk inside, only to find Mildred sitting on the balcony, her knees pulled up to her chest and looking into the distance, wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette.

''Hi it's me'' you announce your presence and she turns to you a bit surprised, putting her feet back on the floor and her cigarette on the ashtray ''I thought it was the maid'' Mildred admits and you take a few steps closer and onto the balcony ''I um well brought these'' you say and hand her a can of sprite. Mildred can't help but smirk at the metaphor and you remembering her words ''That bad huh?'' she asks and you simply nod and add ''Well by the looks of it, yours is too considering you are wearing sunglasses despite the sun covered by clouds'' and once again the redhead raises an eyebrow at your boldness. She points at the other chair and says ''Have a seat''

--------------

A few days later:

Just with every good and beautiful thing, this holiday is slowly coming to an end and you feel upset that today is officially your last day at the resort before you have to go back tomorrow. Although you have no clue where to actually go because you don't plan on going back to your hometown, not having anything to go back to or anyone for that matter.

After getting ready you walk downstairs and meet Mildred for breakfast sitting in your usual spot. Over the past two weeks, especially after that Mexican themed party, the two of you have gotten to know each other better and spend the remainder of your days here together. You learnt more about what used to be the mysterious stranger, booking the seat you wanted to sit in and she in return.

You had developed little habits like Mildred making the hotel staff add a chair next to hers and always booking those two for the next days. You would meet her downstairs and have breakfast together, overlooking the ocean. Then you would both kinda do your own things like Mildred smoking some cigarettes or looking into the distance, reading the newspapers. You would sometimes go for a swim or read your book but always near Mildred.

You started to grow more fond of her and you developed something more than a little crush on her and the feeling you felt when laying eyes on her for the first time, still hasn't changed. You feel the same tingle in your stomach and fluttering of your heart. It's like whenever you are close to her, you feel as if you forgot how to do anything no matter if speaking or breathing.

At the same time you have been feeling this wrenching feeling in your heart, not just sad about leaving this vacation but also sad about having to say goodbye to Mildred and not having the redhead around anymore. Nothing major happened between you in those two weeks and you doubt she has a thing for women in the first place but you still liked having the company of this woman and learning more about her.

''Hi there, it's a surprise to see you up and down here first'' Mildred notices as she finds you on your usual chairs. ''I guess I couldn't sleep anymore'' you mumble and she sits down slightly concerned, her eyebrows knitting. ''Are you alright Y/N?'' she asks but before you get to answer, the waiter comes over with your usual breakfast orders and also two glasses of champagne. ''These are a little goodbye gift from the resort as you are both leaving tomorrow'' your usual waiter says and you smile and thank him

The rest of the day, you spent with reading your book and finishing it, swimming a little more and talking to Mildred. ''How about we have dinner at the beach tonight?'' the redhead suggests and you are a bit surprised at her invitation. ''Yes I would love to, do you think that's possible?'' you ask wondering how that would work because the beach isn't on the premises of this hotel. ''Oh Darling come on, don't you know me by now? I am always prepared'' she says and explains how she already had the staff prepare a little something.

Just as the sun sets, you and Mildred walk down to the beach with a blanket and a basket that the staff had prepared so the two of you could enjoy your dinner by the beach. ''This is beautiful'' you state as you and her sit on the blanket and she sets the food and drinks down. ''They really are fantastic here'' the redhead admires the staff's effort and you were about to say ''So are you'' but successfully stopped yourself and held it back

''So where are you headed after tomorrow?'' you absent-mindedly ask while overlooking the beautiful view in front of you. The sun is setting just behind Mildred and you wish your eyes could take pictures and you could somehow save this image and moment forever because she looks breathtaking. Part of you wishes you could cherish this moment forever even if you know your ways are soon to part.

''Italy I think, I will take a taxi down to the nearest city and see what flights might be available'' she says and trails off talking about how she has been to europe a few times but never Italy. ''That sounds beautiful I have always wanted to go there'' you admit, really loving the aesthetic of the beautiful sunny country.

Silence settles after this, you and Mildred just enjoying some of the pasta and breadsticks that the staff and chefs prepared and sipping on some red wine. ''Y/N are you alright? you seem awfully quiet today'' Mildred points out and your lips part for a moment but then again you don't really know what to say to her, not wanting to admit how you feel about leaving this place and more specifically her.

''No I am okay, just a bit sad we- I mean that we have to leave this place'' you admit and Mildred looks down, her gaze avoiding yours as if she wants to say something or something is on her mind. ''How about you? it seems there is something on your mind'' you state, noticing how tense and slightly nervous she seems since coming here with you.

It takes her a few moments to speak again but you want to make sure to give her time and for her to be ready to share whatever she wants to share with you. ''Do you remember when we came here last?'' she asks and you chuckle and reply ''Yes and I remember the aftermath of that night'' you chuckle, remembering how hungover you both were the next morning.

''You asked me why I am not here with a gentlemen and while I don't share this with anyone really apart from my close circle.. I- the reason is that I enjoy the company of other women and I think you might understand that's why I am telling you'' she says and looks up to meet your  eyes. Your heart flutters a little at her confession because your radar really was off with her and you had no clue until she just admitted it.

Quickly you compose yourself and reply ''Yes I do know'' because you would hate to make her uncomfortable by saying the wrong thing or taking too long to reply because you know the feeling well of coming out to people and how nerve wrecking it truly is. ''I do too'' you whisper barely audible because suddenly you feel very nervous and the butterflies in your stomach are back.

Mildred locks eyes with you and her mouth is slightly ajar because even though she had a feeling you might know what it's like she didn't actually think you would be into women but what you didn't see is the little smile playing on her lips and Mildred hiding how exciting your confession truly is to her .

''Where are you planning to go after this holiday?'' Mildred asks, changing the subject again because it makes you both very nervous. ''I don't really know I guess I will see where life takes me'' you admit and look down feeling sad.

''How about Italy?'' she asks and for a moment you are completely dumbfounded and feel like you lost the ability of thinking clearly until you realize what she is truly suggesting here. ''As in -'' you pause for a moment not wanting to make a fool out of yourself by reading this wrong  ''As in you and me'' Mildred finishes your sentence.

It feels like everything is frozen, the only thing to be heard right now, the sound of your pounding heart and the waves of the ocean hitting the shore. ''Do you - I-'' you stutter unable to form a reply. ''The truth is I like you Y/N and I would like to see where this is going'' Mildred admits and your eyes widen because this is better than any of your daydreams you have had so far.

''So how about we take on the adventure together?'' Mildred asks with a smile and you suddenly feel her hand grazing yours slightly. ''I would love to'' you say truthfully and you can't hide the blushing of your cheeks or smile on your face. ''Alright it's settled then darling'' the redhead says before handing you your glass of champagne ''To new beginnings'' she says and raises her glass.

As you sit there, watching the sun set completely and slowly some stars shining brightly in the night sky, seeing Mildred looking at the ocean and occasionally glancing at you, you feel complete and even though things are fresh and somewhat uncertain, right now you know you have a path. And maybe just maybe the day you waltzed into this holiday and met this mysterious stranger that made your heart flutter from the first moment you saw her, also made Mildred Ratched waltz right into your heart.

You smile as you think of the adventures ahead but as you see Mildred looking at you, you turn around shily. ''What is it?'' she asks softly her hand still on yours. ''I- I'm just happy'' you chuckle and you almost faint as she leans in closer and her lips are very close to yours. Everything spins and stops yet again and you are sure she must be able to hear your heart because it is beating out of your chest. ''Good you deserve it darling'' she whispers and then she closes the gap.

Arriving here, you never expected to find true happiness and you expected to only be able to relax a little after what happened with your old job and life before. Coming here you never expected that within the matter of two weeks you would get closer to your goal of eventually settling somewhere with a beautiful woman that you love and spend the rest of your lives together while exploring the world. You had no idea this person would be the mysterious redhead that stole your chair on your first day and finally your heart in the end as her lips meet yours softly.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through? 

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!! 

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available? 

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂 

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is  fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped 

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove? 

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺 

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter) 

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

 Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game! 

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you? 

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you! 

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something? 

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2? 

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates? 

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird? 

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot! 

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related 

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^! 

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets? 

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update?  I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭 

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references 

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive. 

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3? 

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something. 

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants? 

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations? 

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted? 

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia. 

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all? 

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day 

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w; 

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips? 

&

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3 

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!! 

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

The Obey Me Brothers and Undatables vs An Insect/Arachnid Loving MC

I find it amazing how many people find it disturbing that I just love some insects and arachnids (not more than birds but still, insects can be both cute and cool even when they manage to terrify me so I can't help but love them lmao).

It's so cool how insects are actually the most dominant species in the world even before humanity existed and will most likely still be even after humanity ceases to exist, of course some of them actualy spread disease and such but it's not all of them and the mosquitoes that do spread it are females and they are just sucking your blood to feed their babies and the males like flowers over your blood, I actually don't like all spiders but I love tarantulas with all my heart although I can't say the same for wasps, they are evil but they can be so cool I have so many mixed feelings and cockroaches can be so adorable specially the forest/wild ones, have you ever seen them eat fruits??? They are so cute! And don't even get me started on how a d o r a b l e beetles are-

.

Lucifer vs Ladybug

Taking strolls in the Castle's garden when you are accompaning Lucifer in his work are very common.

Just taking a fresh breath of the Devildom's air in between breaks with you by his side powers him up like crazy.

Now that being said, he doesn't really appreciate losing your attention to a little, colorful, bug crawling on one of the flowers in said garden.

"Lucifer, look! It's a ladybug! It's so different from the human world!"

That is true, ladybugs in hell were brighter in color and had a toxin in their bodies that- Oh wait

"Don't touch it!" Lucifer grabbed your hand in realization "haven't you learned anything about bright colors in nature? The toxin in their bodies can melt your skin off!"

He really didn't expect your eyes to get even more shiny.

"Ladybugs in Devildom are both bright and dangerous??!! I'm so jealous!"

With that, he became both exasperated and more in love with you.

Does this have a relation to the fact that you love him and his brothers even thought they are demons?

He is definetelly giving you a brooch in the shape of a ladybug later

.

Mammon vs Cockroach

If you think this man didn't scream like a plate being scratched with a fork when he saw a cockroach in your bedroom, you are wrong.

I mean, okay, he was on the floor and the thing just decided to crawl up to his head out of nowhere.

He jumped over the table so fast it probably has beaten a world record.

"Aw! It's a baby cockroach!"

It's true, it was very small compared to adult ones, but Mammon didn't care.

"STOP FAWNIN' OVER THOSE CREATURES FOR ONCE AND KILL IT ALREADY!!"

And of course instead of killing it you just raise your eyebrown at him while scooping the thing up with a paper.

And of course you needed to bring it really close to him just to watch him squirm before you decide throw it out of your bedroom's window.

He definetelly will ask you to wash your hands before comforting him even if you didn't even touch the cockroach directly.

.

Leviathan vs Dragonfly

You cannot tell me dragonflies in Devildom are actually very few and actually have the size of a small dragon.

It all happened on the day you and Levi got lost in the forest searching for a raven that stole his just purchased phone charm of a game that he was currently addicted to.

Both of you were looking for a way out when you heard an extremelly loud buzzing noise from somewhere in the woods.

Of course both of you followed the sound because first, you just know that must be one big ass insect since it sounded almost like a helicopter and you had to see it, and second, Levi suddenly forgot all about the charm (and being lost) and started rambling about how 'it couldn't be! Is it really-!'

And that is how you guys found his new Henry.

A giant, navy blue, shiny dragonfly, that was currently eating the Raven you and Levi were searching for.

Let's just say Levi got his charm back and both of you got a free ride to the House of Lamentation.

.

Satan vs Spiders

Where there are old books, there are spider webs, and where there are spider webs, there's at least a 50% chance there are spiders in there.

So you can say Satan was quite familiar with the eight legged creatures, although he never really paid them much attention.

That is until he found they were of your interest.

You will never see someone start to give spider names, treat them with courtesy and have small talks with them faster than with this man.

Getting a book from the House of Lamentation's library and there's a web in the way along with a resident spider? "Excuse me, I will have to disturb you a little, I hope you don't mind a bit of damage to your home"

He is reading and suddenly sees a spider dangling down from a web string right besides him? He is definetelly letting it land on his hand just so that he can show it to you.

One day he even choses to read a book in his berdoom that a tiny spider was standing on. The sight of the tiny thing crawling around the pages as he reads it and explains some things out loud is so precious to see.

.

Asmodeus vs Scorpions

Of course, what would suit the Lust Demon better than his own patron?

That is until you teach him that there are more than just one type of scorpion, and there is one type that has really big claws and a thinner tail that are usually pretty big in size.

Why would learning that be a bad thing, you ask? Instead of stinging its food, it actually grabs it like a crab.

So yes, the day Asmo held one and didn't use his charms, it pinched him.

Needless to say, it was chaotic.

Leaving the fact he is never approaching those kinds of scorpions ever again, he coos a lot at you while you coo at the small scorpions.

If you tell him the fact that they are his patron just makes you love him more, he will be so happy he will be squealing for the next 5 minutes.

He has definetelly taken a few dozens, of pictures for you while holding one or more scorpions.

His followers in the devilgram were surprised at how even while holding that thing, Asmo still looked amazing.

Scorpions definetelly became sensation in Devildom after that.

.

Beelzebub vs Flies

Again, nothing better than his own patron.

If he didn't have to swat them off his food that is.

He has definetelly eaten some accidently.

"Look! I managed to make it crawl up to my finger without scaring it!" you say.

"That is cool. But you should probably wash your hand." He replies.

He's right, wash your hands if you ever grab onto flies.

He finds it really cute that you like insects, and it makes him tingly on the inside when he remembers that his symbolic creature is an insect itself.

Don't hold back on asking him to change into his demon form more often, he is very happy to do it.

He starts paying more attention to insects and flies in general after he finds out how much you love them.

How big their are, their color, where he saw them, what were they doing, if they tasted good.

And then he proceeds to tell you all about it.

He is very cute.

.

Belphegor vs Butterflies

It's not that he attracts butterflies, no. But he actually likes them, finds them cool even.

Did you know some butterflies disguise as another type butterfly because that type is actually not very tasty to eat so the animals stay away from them?

And how many of them have patterns on their wings that look a lot like Owls and again, it makes animals stay away from them?

And the whole symbolism of life, death and rebirth around them? And the fact that the larvae eating everything around them reminds him a lot of Beel?

Belphie definetelly likes butterflies and you cannot tell me otherwise.

So when he finds out you love insects? Oh he is definetelly taking you to the best butterfly watching spot either in the Devildom or the Human World.

It's specially cute when he falls asleep and one lands on his face.

He definetelly had a minor heart attack when he woke up to the sight its wings but he will never admit it.

Also definetelly grabs it and puts it on you instead.

It's counterproductive as you end up looking too cute for him to handle.

.

Solomon vs Beetles

I mean beetle fights.

You thought you liked insects, just wait until you see this man cheering on a beetle like an excited kid.

Also finds it hilarious when one just yeets the other away.

And because now you are there to feed more into his love for beetles, one day he casts a spell on two of them to make them big enough to ride and just showed up outside your window like:

"No time to explain, get in the beetle"

Because of safety measures, no, you guys didn't have a giant beetle fight.

But you did ride them around the Devildom forest at 2am.

You thought it would be an insane ride with lots of adventures

But you guys just ended up star gazing while laying on them.

He forgot to turn them back to their original size and they scared a few of the residents of Devildom.

.

Simeon vs Mantis

Warning: it's a big goreish

When you introduced the praying mantis specifically to Simeon, he was immediatelly in awe.

And then you proceeded to show him how they can have many shapes and forms, be it as leafs, tree branches, and others.

And he was so intrigued!

But then you gave him the more, specific details.

Like how they can feast on their prey while they are still alive.

And how it actually can attack small birds such as humming birds, eating their brain tissue through their eyes.

And how the females practice a cannibalism ritual, feasting on their partners after mating.

That's when his writer self came to light.

What I mean is, he was now both horrified and extremelly inspired.

Simeon can be scary sometimes.

.

Diavolo vs Ants

If you can find ants in every nook and crany around the world, you cannot tell me you can't find them in hell.

If they are able to travel the sea just by being taken along with baggage on accident, they have definetelly come to hell the same way, specially black crazy ants.

So honestly, I wouldn't find it surprising that Diavolo would have at least one big colony of ants he takes care of.

But he didn't have it until you pointed out why ants were awesome to him.

"They don't eat the leafs, they are farmers and what they eat is the other tiny creatures that decompose the leafs" "they can go to extreme lenghts to find their food and they have a real good teamwork, often they don't eat right away but instead bring the food back to the colony to feed the young" "Some ants that live in tropical weather that rains a lot, such as the amazon, can swim! And they do it together in big, ant, nests!"

Needless to say, he was intrigued.

Such tiny creatures are able to eat other insects much bigger than them? And they love sweets?

They actually like their homes clean and throw their trash into the very corner of their enclosure? Their bite can actually hurt a lot even to creatures gigantic copared to their size such as humans??

He had his own personal colony the very next day.

.

Barbatos vs Bees

This man definetelly has his own share of appreciation for bees even before you told him you like insects.

They are very good helpers in the garden, their honey can be used on a extremelly big variety of both food and health products along with their wax, and honestly, they're just so fuzzy and cute.

If you want to get a rare laugh or chuckle out of him, make bee movie references.

He will just stop in his tracks and cover his mouth as he tries not to laugh.

You could almost make him spit his drink if you do it while he is drinking something.

And you can't tell me this man can't make bee related puns with a straight face. It's unbeeliveable

Aight, imma head out

.

(This was basically an insect/arachnid appreciation post and I have no regrets)

[skellebonez]

32. Are you aware of how much money you spent? Tang and Pigsy

go wild god of fanfic prompts, go wild

I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR ANON JDFKLSJFAS But that's very sweet of you to say! And I couldn't pass up a great chance to write these two as the old (but not that old) married couple I know them to be in my heart. I tried something a little experimental, this isn't exactly how I would normally write them but I had a little idea and wanted to see what I could do with it.

Are you aware of how much money you spent? 

Tang loved Pigsy. And he wasn't afraid of who knew that fact.

"You sure you wanna come with me to the market after... you know,” Pigsy said with a shrug as he rubbed his neck awkwardly.

Tang knew. He remembered the events of quite a few months ago very well. Over half a year if he remembered correctly. It was the last time he had gone with the chef to purchase his ingredients at the market, not wanting to go anywhere close to what was likely still far too close to the lair of the Spider Queen.

Especially not after their later encounters on the new year and the following weeks.

“I’m sure.”

It wasn’t as if they didn’t spend pretty much all their time together anyway. Tang had work, of course he did, and he wasn’t always in the shop 24/7. But whenever he could take his work on the go or take a break or just have the day off he would be by the chef’s side. He always had been for as long as he could remember since their first meeting in college.

At first it was simply from a sense of loyalty to an old friend. He’d kept in touch with Pigsy since they had graduated together, went to the restaurant from day one since it opened, and went back almost every day since then.

And then... he’d lost his apartment, an accidental electrical fire no one could have prevented and he had been glad no one was hurt, and Pigsy had just offered him his spare room like it was nothing.

Tang could have possibly stayed in a hotel until he was able to find another apartment, at least for a while. But not forever. Not the way people who knew who he really was thought he could.

Once someone learned you were the descendant of a long distant cousin of the Tang Sanzang they had a tendency to assume and want things from you after all.

He wasn't in any way rich, far from it. But people thought he was the second they learned he was related to Tang Sanzang and he was just well off enough for people to assume they were right. Just enough for people to expect more from him than he could really give. And he gave all the same, scared to disappoint. Scared to be left alone. Scared to be alone.

Not Pigsy, though. He didn't tell the chef for a long while before moving in and not for quite some time after, guilt from not revealing who he was making Tang leave him far more money than would be his reasonable share of the rent despite the fact he didn't really have it to spare, and the charade would only last as long as Pigsy was willing to ignore that.

It took 1 month and 28 bowls of noodles that Tang vastly overpaid for before Pigsy dropped an overstuffed envelope with all the excess money (which was really nearly all the money he could spare) he had given the chef right into his lap while he was attempting to study a book on their now shared couch.

Pigsy barely got out his question of "why?" before Tang buckled under the pressure and revealed everything.

His heritage.

His past with others.

His feelings.

That last one had been an accident. Truly it had. He'd never planned on telling Pigsy that he had developed a crush on him ever since he had asked him to taste test some of the recipes for his shop. That he kept going to the shop not because the food was amazing (even though it absolutely was, the best he'd ever had and he was certain ever would have) but because he just wanted to see Pigsy more. That the day he'd asked Tang to move into his spare room in his own apartment his heart had skipped a beat and he wondered if there was a deity out there both enjoying the idea of giving him everything he wanted on a silver platter while also reveling in the idea of it being snatched away in an instant because he was certain Pigsy had never liked him back.

Well. Was certain.

Until Pigsy stared at him for a few second too long before a lopsided grin spread on his face and he ignored every single other part of his confession to ask "you had a crush on me too?"

It had taken a minute or two for them to realize they were both hopeless idiots who had been mutually pining for each other the entire time.

They felt pretty silly after that, having lived together for a month when they probably could have been doing so long before.

~

"You don't have to keep givin me all this, you know," Pigsy said firmly once everything was out in the open, gesturing to the envelope that Tang now held in his hands.

"I know," Tang admitted, worrying his fingers over the edges. "It's just... everyone else always wanted more from me and... I was scared, I guess..."

"I'm not everyone else." Pigsy gently took hold of Tang's hand, giving it a careful squeeze. "I don't care who your great uncle or cousin or whoever was. I mean, I do, cause they're your family!" The chef corrected himself, flushing a deep crimson in embarrassment. "But you could be related to nobodies or a king and that wouldn't make you less you to me. I like you for you! I... am I makin any sense? I didn't go to college to sound nice, I went for business stuff!"

Laughter bubbled up from somewhere in Tang's chest, making him squeeze the chef's hand back.

"You are," he said, feeling a lightness inside him that he didn't realize he hadn't felt in a long time. "I get it. I like you for you too, Pigsy."

"Good," the chef said, a chuckle of his own resounding in unison. "Good..."

The two sat for a moment longer, staring at each other before Tang started to lean forward. Pigsy followed, just as he had with the laughter.

It didn't take long for noses to bump each other awkwardly and for the two of them to burst into cackles as they realized they would need to remember to turn their heads before they kissed.

And then they shared their first.

~

They'd been together for years after that. Scholar and chef, old college buddies now roommates turned boyfriends and then later husbands. Most people didn't even know they were married at all, "if they couldn't see it when it was right in front of their faces why explain it" was Tang and Pigsy's mutual reasoning. And for those that did know, some people didn't really understand their relationship. Not with how they carried on with the whole "freeloader" thing.

But that was because of one of Pigsy's only requests when they started dating.

"Don't feel like you gotta pay me for anything, ok? I don't know what other people have said to you, but you don't gotta do that with me."

Tang liked to take that a little far, admittedly, for the fun of it with the noodle orders at the shop. He couldn't help it, he loved everything about Pigsy! His smile, how much he cared behind his gruff exterior, his cooking (obviously), and how cute he was when he would let out that exasperated sigh at the end of the month and just look at Tang's tab as he took out whatever was extra in his half of the month's rent to pay for all but a few yuan of it and just change into that soft smile all over again.

The tab was real, but Tang always paid it at the end of the month. Even if Pigsy always insisted behind the scenes that he didn't have to. He could just stop giving Pigsy the extra cash and they'd wash their hands of the tab and the freeloading completely if he wanted to.

But Tang liked teasing his husband too much and Pigsy was happy as long as Tang was alright with that.

Something in the back of Tang's mind wondered if he was still just scared though, despite everything. As if the ideas of his youth were too deep seated to really go away, intrusive thoughts needling into his brain in a way that would need something even more life altering than he already gone through to get them to leave, and he kept the tab and the teasing around just for some extra security so he would know he'd get to see Pigsy's exasperated smile and hear him say he could stop again. He was certain he was just overthinking things, something he did more often than he would like to admit.

Of course... that was until Spider Queen.

It hadn't been a good morning already, the selection at the market had been poor and Tang was tired from a long work week. Pigsy had been determined to find the right ingredients for... something that, frankly, Tang couldn't remember after all these months. What he did remember was the way the Spider Queen drew Pigsy in, despite his sniping at him while they were tied up he knew that the chef really was only after actual vegetable, and being in that lair.

It was awful.

They hadn't been down there long, but it was long enough for Tang to suggest Pigsy stay away from the market entirely and order his food via online delivery. Pigsy thought he'd been jealous at first, until he realized that Tang was just... scared. Scared of Pigsy getting hurt, scared of losing him. Just scared.

Until MK had shown up there really was no telling if they would have made it out. And that scared Tang. A lot.

Pigsy didn't stop going to the market entirely, but for Tang's peace of mind he bought most of his food via delivery like he suggested and took MK with him every time instead. Tang refused to go back, not when he knew how close that stand was.

And then the Lunar New Year happened and Tang no longer really felt safe anywhere.

Oh he acted like everything was fine alright, but he knew Pigsy could tell how defeated he was in knowing that Spider Queen and her crew could just show up anywhere at any time now. It left him tired, having trouble sleeping, and just emotionally exhausted.

Until this morning. When he woke up before Pigsy and got dressed and ready to go and suggested they go to the market together.

He was tired. Too tired.

Tired of letting himself be afraid. Of Spider Queen. Of the market. Of his old intrusive thoughts.

After all he had used a giant gun sword on that one spider guy with the pony tail who insisted on teasing Pigsy for some reason. And went through whatever happened with that weird shadow puppet guy. Why be afraid anymore after all that weirdness?

So at the market they were, looking over the selection of ingredients together for the first time in months almost as if nothing had happened. No one would have been able to tell except for the way Pigsy kept looking over at Tang to make sure he was alright.

Tang loved that about Pigsy too.

“Tang you don’t have t-”

“I want to,” the scholar said firmly, handing his card to the merchant they had stopped at over Pigsy’s head before the other even had a chance to argue further.

“Tang!” Pigsy yelped as his card was handed back, gesturing to the bag of food he was being handed shortly after. “Are you aware of how much money you spent? That stuff’s expensive!”

“I know,” Tang said nonchalantly, smiling softly as he turned to head to the next stall. “I told you, I wanted to buy them.”

“But why?” Pigsy insisted, looking a bit lost at having to be the one to follow someone else through the market for once. “You know I’d never make you pay for anything... well, heh, except your tab that you insist on keeping open.”

“About that" Tang said, smiling softly as he turned back to the man he loved for so long. "I don't think we need to keep that open anymore."

Pigsy froze, staring at Tang in confusion for a moment before his eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said. He blinked, looking at the bag of ingredients, thinking about the amount of yuan Tang had spent before he finally caught on to what the scholar had so sneakily done.

The exact amount down to the last little bit.

Paid in full.

"You're serious," The chef said as he took in Tang's expression carefully, reaching out to grab his free hand softly and squeeze. "What brought this on?"

"Just thought it was time to let go of old fears," Tang answered with a shrug, and he barely had time to react before Pigsy tugged him forward with a tilt of his head and pressed their lips together.

Tang didn't keep count of how many times they kissed over the years, who would after so long, but he was sure he'd remember this one as vividly as the first.

"Let's get back," Pigsy said after he pulled back, smiling warm and bright and just looking the way being home felt. "MK's probably waiting to get that out of the city training started and we don't wanna keep them all waiting."

He loved Pigsy.

And the one thing he was never ever afraid of was who knew that.

[traincat]

I know the comic piracy debate is a never-ending cycle, but in India where I live, you can't get western comics (or manga for that matter). There aren't comic book stores. Sometimes on Amazon you can find collected editions worth more than INR 1000 at least, for the paperbacks. Most older collections, even from the early 2000s, will be upwards of INR 6000. And sure, it's because the exchange value is so low for Indian rupees, but that's still a LOT of money to Indian citizens. You can get digital editions of random odd issues for approx. INR 150, so that's there. But overall it's really a huge investment to buy a physical comic. So yes, I pirate. But I get so guilty when this debate rolls around, every time. I just don't see any other alternative.

I debated whether or not to answer this considering I haven't really addressed the comics piracy issue before so I'm not sure I'm the right account to talk about it, and also because my askbox is not a confessional and I am not a priest, but then some Spider-Man news broke that I feels ties into it this so whatever, we're going for it. The comics piracy debate comes up every couple of months and will probably continue to come up every couple of months until forever and all of these points have been stated before by others because nothing in this debate is new. First things first, you shouldn't feel guilty. I'm going to suggest actually that nobody should feel guilty, unless you are like, a millionaire and you're exclusively pirating indie books. The prices you're quoting are prohibitively expensive but I have some unfortunate news for everyone involved: the prices are really bad in the US, too. If you want good collected editions, especially in hardcover, they're going to run at similar if not quite equal prices. Comics have gone from a cheap hobby to an overwhelmingly expensive hobby.

This is a good article comparing to the cover costs of American comics since the 1960s adjusted for inflation which I think puts some things in perspective. Comics currently cost roughly $5 USD per issue, which doesn't sound that bad, even though most of my monthly streaming services are roughly that price for a whole month's access to a library of content. But it only doesn't sound that bad if you're not buying special issues (the Marvel Pride book retailed for $10), and if you're only reading one or two books a month. The problem is, American superhero comics are specifically designed so you're not reading just one or two books per month -- this is why we have events! And crossovers! Not for the story potential but because it forces the consumer to purchase more product. This is why there's constantly an event running with a checklist of tie-in issues in the back. So now you're spending probably at least $20 a month. If you're a fan with a lot of interest in different titles, and in different publishers, this can easily hit triple USD digits. It's a money pit. It's not affordable to most people. And this is where that new Spider-Man news comes in, because it was announced today that Amazing Spider-Man is going back to a thrice monthly schedule like it used to operate on during Brand New Day. Which sounds good at first -- more comics, yay -- until you realize that's probably going to be $15 USD a month for a one title. That's $180 a year for one title, not including annuals or special issues. That's not feasible for a lot of fans -- young fans, poor fans, fans with other financial obligations etc. And most people aren't reading just one title. I don't know how the X-Men fans are currently financing their Krakoa habit and I'm afraid to ask. There are services like Marvel Unlimited, which make things slightly more affordable, but I imagine the wait for newer issues to hit the service can be alienating for some fans who want to join in current discussions, the library has some incredibly massive holes in it which is unacceptable when it's coming from inside the mouse house, and I believe, although I could be wrong, that it is not available in all countries. Comics are no longer an easily accessible hobby, if you're paying for everything you read.

"But the creatives deserve to get paid" is the common argument and yeah, they do, I'm not arguing that point. They should absolutely get paid and they should get well. I'm a writer, I'm a published writer even, and I want to be a published novelist, and I definitely want to get paid, and I'm reserving the right to be a complete hypocrite about this, as I do with everything in my life, but this is where the difference between indie publications and Marvel publications comes in: Marvel is owned by Disney. There is absolutely no excuse for Disney not to pay their creatives. If they are not getting paid fairly, it's not because you pirated a book -- it's because Disney has a vested interest in not paying their creators, as evidenced by Alan Dean Foster's lawsuit claiming that they are withholding royalties from him. Fans pirating these books are not the reason the creatives are not getting paid fairly -- the creatives are not getting paid fairly for the same reason that Disney park employees experience homelessness, and it's because Disney would rather put that money into the pockets of their executives. There is no debate on that subject. It's easier and perhaps more convenient to blame fans for pirating comics rather than putting all of their money into what has been for years now a prohibitively expensive hobby to keep up with, but the fact of the matter is Disney could pay all of their creatives what they're worth without hurting their bottom line and instead chooses not to. That is not on you, as an individual reader. You have no reason to feel guilty about that, no matter what your circumstances are, and you do not have to justify your actions to either me or the House of the Mouse. I'm with you, and Disney ultimately doesn't care. They're making that money up elsewhere and then not distributing it fairly to the people who create the properties their media empire is built off of. But especially if you're buying older books, you should know that your money is not going to the creative team -- once it's out of publication, they're not going to get any of the money you spent on it. The argument then becomes that you should be supporting local comics stores which yes, is true, but also doesn't apply to everyone, like anon who doesn't have access to local comic book stores. And again, this can become prohibitively expensive -- collections are expensive. Older, hard to find collections can be very expensive. Once something is out of print, all bets are off on what it might be selling for. Buying single issues is only affordable if the single issue isn't desirable or sometimes if it's in exceedingly bad condition. For the sake of transparency, I have a fairly big single issue collection because it's my preferred format, but I had the time to bargain hunt, access to local comic book stores and large comic conventions, and I'm very good at sniping eBay auctions. The most I have ever dropped on a single issue was expensive for me -- and still under three digits USD -- and it's for an issue from the '60s that is not in great condition.

The problem with this debate is that it is generally a nuanced issue that always gets boiled down to "piracy bad" in a way that makes a lot of well meaning and well intentioned fans, especially the ones with extenuating circumstances, feel bad. It's not your fault. You shouldn't feel guilty. There are a huge amount of reasons why someone might pirate something that are not bad reasons and do not make you a bad person who is personally withholding money from the creators -- because you're not. I don't publicly tell people where to pirate comics, mostly because I really don't think it's that hard to find out for yourselves especially because several creators involved with Marvel themselves have, I suspect accidentally, posted pages of their work to social media WITH THE BANNER OF A WELL KNOWN COMICS PIRACY SITE STILL IN THE IMAGE please learn how to crop, so maybe my standpoint on the issue wasn't well known, but there it is. I think readers should, if they are able to financially and otherwise, support the creators they like, but that it should be acknowledged that this is a more complicated issue than it's commonly made out to be on Twitter and that the largest part of the blame needs to be put on the companies making these comics inaccessible to many and who refuse to pay their creators fairly, not on individual fans. Don't feel guilty, anon.

[queenmuzz]

Devil’s Advocate

You’ve read the Dante’s Valentine’s Day Special, now it’s his brother’s time!

You awoke to the soft delicate scent of roses, and knew your ‘secret’ admirer had made yet another appearance.  ‘Secret’ was definitely a bit of an exaggeration, but still, you enjoyed these clandestine little gifts you had received, and were willing to wait as long as it took for the man responsible to reveal himself.

That man, of course, was the stoic, stony, yet surprisingly sensitive Elder son of Sparda, Vergil.  As a demon hunter yourself, you had come into contact with the Legendary Devil Hunter, Dante quite a while ago, but only recently, had you met the twin brother he’d never spoken to you about.  You never asked, but you sensed some tension, albeit rather gentle tension between the brothers, but you had decided ‘any friend and/or relative of Dante, is a friend of mine’.  And so, you attempted to befriend the aloof man, and though it took a while, it actually wasn’t as hard as you had expected.  

You had proven yourself an adept fighter, a voracious reader, and a perceptive listener, to the man, and cautiously, (and much to Dante’s surprise), you’d formed a friendship with him, a silent understanding that you had each other’s back, that he’d be at your side when fighting off the denizens of Hell, and you’d be there when he tried to figure out how to navigate a (frankly terrifying) world he hadn’t been a part of for over two decades.  

It HAD been nice, enjoying his silent presence, until your friendship had blossomed into something more serious...at least on your end.  Even a blind man could tell he was attractive, and behind his stony mask, there was a man who was deep down, courteous and kind.  A man you could imagine spending the rest of your life with.  But there was a teensy weensy fly in the ointment: You had no idea if Vergil would ever reciprocate your feelings.  It had taken so much time and patience to form a platonic relationship with him, and you didn’t want to destroy what was a perfectly good friendship over something as trivial as unrequited feelings.

But then, a box of chocolates had appeared on your desk one day.  Your favourite, the ones with the silky smooth French Vanilla filling, straight from the little chocolatier from across town.   Dante also had been hovering around, just out of sight, and just happened to walk in as you opened the box, making you suspect he had gotten them for you.  But seeing as he was more interested in ‘helping’ you eat the contents, as opposed to your reaction, you chalked it up to a thankful client.  Strange, it didn’t have a note accompanying it.

Then, a few weeks later… something appeared on your dresser in the small room you ‘rented’ (AKA, helped Dante keep the lights on) from the devil in red.  It was a beautiful green leather planner, with a matching enamel pen, all wrapped simply with a sky blue silk ribbon.  It had been your first clue that the box of chocolates were not just a gift from an anonymous client.  

Because you had seen this exact planner in the window of a little out-of-the way boutique while you were out running errands, and had stopped to admire the fine craftsmanship, but winced at the price tag.  You had planned to buy it later on, when you got paid from your latest job, but by then, it was gone, purchased by another customer.

The fact that this was the exact same handcrafted book that had been on display, and was now your possession, was no coincidence.  And...who was with you to run errands on that very day, who watched your eyes lit up as you peered at it through the glass?  Vergil.  There could be no doubt, the man was leaving gifts for you.  A token of friendship?  Both gifts could be seen as purely platonic, but there was always the chance…

And yet, when you came down the stairs that morning, to see Vergil sipping on his morning tea, trying to figure out the new fangled ‘cell-phone’ his son had given him, he barely gave you anything but a perfunctory nod, which made you question if he really was the gifter.  After all, even someone so emotionally guarded as Vergil would give some sort of clue, a slight inquisitiveness at why you couldn’t get that darn smile off your face.  But nothing. Perhaps the poor man was too shy to admit his feelings, or even quite understand his feelings for you...romantic or not.  And so, you would not mention the gift to him or anyone else.

A week later was the thing that really made up your mind.  Not only were you awoken by the scent, you could have sworn as you opened your eyes, a flash of bright blue, and what sounded like someone hurriedly leaving your room in a tremendous hurry.  (Like Dante when you caught him eating the last of your chocolates)

There, placed delicately on the pillow beside your head, was a single blue rose, its soft velvet petals unfurling in the morning light.  It had been freshly picked, and had no blemish.  You sat up, and cautiously picked it up, as if you weren’t quite sure it was a figment of a rapidly fading dream, and inhaled its scent.  This was no dream, the sweet scent was too real, too vibrant.

This sealed it.  The gift was from Vergil, and the meaning was clear.  One did not leave secret flower gifts to people they considered as ‘just friends’.  You spun the stem between your fingers, admiring its beauty from every angle.  You’d have to find a way to thank Vergil for such a thoughtful gift, to admit you had feelings for him too...but first, you’d need something to place the rose in, to preserve its beauty.  And Dante must have a vase in his kitchen somewhere….

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

It turns out, Dante did NOT have a vase in his kitchen.  Still, there had been a champagne glass, with the words “HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2007!” written on it, so it would have to do.  It didn’t dampen your happiness as you hummed and spritzed the flower with water, as you placed it in the newly cleaned glass. You were so happy, that you hadn’t noticed that someone also had entered the kitchen, and was silently watching you.  Only when you spun around, finally deciding on a perfect place to place it, did you come face to face with Vergil.

He seemed pale, even more than usual as he stood there, still in his pajamas, not looking at you, but at the flower in your hand.  After a few moments of awkward silence, he spoke. “Where.” a pause, as if he was having trouble voicing his thoughts, “where did you get that?”

You were taken aback.  Why would he ask such a question?  Surely he had given you the gift!

You decided to answer as truthfully as you could.

“It was on my pillow this morning.  I thought maybe you had given it to me…” you trailed off dumbly as he just stared at you.  “Along with the chocolates and the notebook…” Now Vergil looked alarmed, and you realized you had just misjudged the situation.  It was obvious that he hadn’t given you anything.  But even now, you searched his face, hoping against hope that he was just joking, that he was playing dumb, even though it would be totally out of character for him.

And without warning, he spun around, left the kitchen with footsteps that were quiet to a normal person, but for you, they sounded like the angry stomps of an elephant.  Out of sight, you heard him ascend the stairs, and then...his bedroom door slammed.

You stood there, confused and upset, the blue rose petals trembling in their makeshift vase.  You felt like something had changed between yourself and Vergil, and you were pretty sure it could never be restored. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

To say Vergil was angry was an understatement.  He was absolutely livid, as he stalked up the stairs and into his room.  Not at you, that was absurd.  You were innocent in all of this, an unfortunate victim.  His anger was directed at one person...himself.

He yanked open the nightstand drawer, and to his fury, the chocolates he had placed there a month and a half ago were gone.  He had heard you and Dante speaking about sweet tooths, and you had admitted that there was a little shop that sold dark chocolates with gooey french vanilla filling that you could die for.

And so, without really thinking, he had gone there, and purchased a box for you.  Why?  As  a token of friendship? A way of saying ‘thank you’ for being patient and understanding with him?  In the end, he couldn’t really decide WHY he wanted to give them to you, and so he placed them in the bottom of the drawer, away from prying eyes, (or his brother’s sensitive nose).  Maybe he could give it to you when he had a plausible excuse, such as your birthday.  But now...it had vanished.

Beginning to panic, he ran over to his wardrobe, and began pushing things aside on the top shelf.  The planner, which he was certain he had hidden under several of his sweaters, was also nowhere to be seen.

What you’d been doing that day, he couldn’t quite recall, only that he felt some compulsion to come with you.  To protect you? No...it was just to run some errands...then why had he felt better by your side?

As you and him chatted about plans for his son and grandchildren to visit, you had suddenly stopped at a storefront window, your eyes locked on something in the display.  A beautiful, handbound planner, with a matching pen as a mate.

“My old one is nearly used up...I’ve been looking for one to replace it, but something a bit more durable than what you get in a big box store, you know?”  Why had his chest hurt when he saw your crestfallen look at the price tag, and how you reluctantly walked away?

Only a day later, when he went back to purchase the book, did the clerk help him realize why he was feeling the way he did.  

“Ah a gift for someone special?” they asked as they tied a decorative bow around it.

“Yes...It’s for…” a friend?  No...that wasn’t it.  It was something more, at least for him.  He honestly didn’t know what you felt about him, and frankly, he was terrified to find out.

“It’s for someone very special to me”

And yet, when he had come home, instead of handing it to you, taking secret delight in the joy on your face… he had hidden it, out of sight, out of mind.  Because what if he was overstepping?  What if you saw him as just a friend, and nothing more?  Could he ever face you again, after destroying something he and you had worked so hard to build?

And now...he looked at his dresser, to find nothing but a glass of water.  The night before, he had, on a whim, stopped at a florist and purchased one, perfect blue rose.  This time, unlike the chocolates and the planner, who had a much longer lifespan, the rose would lose its lustre in a day, forcing him to give it to you, to confess his feelings for you.  

And yet, as you smiled at him as he walked in that evening, telling him that supper was almost ready, did he change his mind.  He’d just place it on the dresser, and let it bloom for him, and him alone, a reminder of his cowardice.

How you had gotten a hold of all three things, made no sense to him.  

Wait...three?

You had mentioned the book and chocolates, and he had seen the rose in your hands, but you hadn’t said anything about the fourth intended gift. He had been contracted to kill a demon that had been summoned by some robbers trying to break into a jewelry shop, (a creative way to destroy the security systems, but it had backfired immensely, as demon summoning usually did.)   The elderly owner, in gratitude, had offered him the pick of anything in his collection.

Vergil was going to pass on the offer, as there was only one piece he had worn, and it was long gone, but then his eye fell upon a delicate silver chain, with a pendant of sapphire and tiny diamonds.  You would certainly love it, he had decided, and so the grateful owner had placed it in a black velvet case and given it to him.  But as a gift, it was far too forward on its own...it was best given after he had confessed his feelings to you… and so it had laid, under his bed, waiting for him to work up the courage to do something.

He quickly got on his hands and knees, frantically searching for the box...but nothing…  Just a dust free spot outline where it had been.  Where did it go?  You didn’t have it, or you would have mentioned it.  It wasn’t in his room…  The only person who could have access to his room would be...Dante…

He grabbed Yamato, intending to wake up his no doubt still slumbering brother with an impalement.  It was so like his little brother, taking things that didn’t belong to him. And the implications troubled him.  Was DANTE trying to court you?  You and him had known each other far longer, but he’d never expected his idiot brother to try to undercut Vergil’s attempts for your affection…

Ah, but you never did anything in the first place to court them, he reminded himself, you were never even in the running…

Still, by the time he was done… There would be nothing left of Dante to court you-

He stopped in his tracks.  There, standing in the doorway, was an ethereal blue figure. His doppelganger, its face unreadable as it stared at him intensely.

“Out of way,” he ordered, but all he got was an amused huff.

Vergil was not amused and tried to barge past it, tried to summon it back to him, but he met both as if they were a solid brick wall.  This was odd, in battle his companion would always follow his directions,  why not now?  Whatever it had in mind, it wasn’t going to let him through.

“My brother has stolen things from me, don’t you understand why I am angry?”

He’d never seen his familiar  show any emotion, but now… he was certain it was laughing...

Laughing at him…

“What,” he said between gritted teeth, “do you think is so amusing?”  But all he got was the creature striding past him, and opensx the drawer of his nightstand, mimed taking something out, and then going to the wardrobe, and pretending to retrieve something from the top shelf.  And then, claws clicking the hardwood, it walked to the dresser, and plucked an invisible rose out of the glass, before turning back to him, a look of pride on its face.

And now the pieces were falling into place.

His Doppelganger had given you the chocolates

His Doppelganger, an extension of himself, had given you the planner

His Doppelganger, himself without his stony emotional wall, had given you the rose.

He stood there, unable to think.  Betrayed, by all things....himself.  And yet, he felt a wave of relief. As he watched you humming, and cleaning the glass to place the rose in, he saw the delight and happiness in your eyes.  And you seemed to already guess it was him that was giving you the gift.  Perhaps, his fear of ruining his friendship with you was unfounded.  But his reaction to the scene in the kitchen a mere few minutes ago threatened to ruin everything, and he had no idea of how to fix it.  Vergil was never fond of apologizing, nor very good at it.

And then, with a flourish, his doppelganger’s tail flicked around, and the tip hovered before him, wrapped around a familiar narrow black velvet box.  It seemed his companion hadn’t given away everything just yet.

Sighing in defeat, he took the box, and only then, did the ghostly apparition allow him passage, and followed him down the hall, until, after a moment’s hesitation he paused by your door.  It had been open when he had first come down the stairs, but now it was closed, indicating you had holed yourself in there after his confrontation with you.  Looking down at the box in his hands, he realized he had one chance to make things right.  He took one last glance at the doppelganger, who merely stood a distance away (blocking the stairway, he noticed)

💕💕💕💕💕💕

You sat on your bed, unable to take your eyes off the rose on your dresser, looking a bit less vibrant than before.  Where had you gone so wrong?  You had let your feelings colour your assumptions, let your blossoming affection for the man made you think that he must obviously felt the same for you.  But obviously you had misjudged, and now the carefully laid relationship was on the verge of crumbling, never to be rebuilt again.  Hopefully you two could still work together.

A soft knock came from your door, and hesitantly, you approached, knowing exactly who would be on the other side, but unable to figure out what to say.  Apologise?  Act like nothing happened? Pretend it was all a joke?You took a deep breath, and hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst, you opened the door.

There stood Vergil, stiffly, with his hands behind his back, looking like a boy forced by his mother to apologise for egging his neighbor's house.  For an awkward few moments, both of you first stared at each other, then looked at the floor, as if suddenly interested in the pattern of the hardwood.  Finally, when you could take it no more, you spoke first.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed that you had gotten me those things...I guess I had just,” you paused, desperate to not cross this rubicon, but seeing little other choice, “I guess I had just hoped that they were coming from you.  That they meant something I had hoped was true…”

Vergil pursed his lips, opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, and looked like he was about to turn away, before a  threatening rumbling grumble down the hallway, just out of sight, rooted him to the spot.  You saw his adam’s apple bob up and down as he attempted to form his words.

“No…” he began hesitantly, “I did not give you those gifts, although I wish I had.” You blinked at that last part, about to ask him exactly what he meant before deciding not to interrupt him, as it seemed he was working so hard to muster up what he wished to say.

“The chocolates, the planners and...the rose, were given to you, not by me, but by it…” he motioned to the side, and you peeked out your door to see Vergil’s doppelganger, tail practically wagging, waving to you like an eager schoolchild.  You barely caught in the corner of your eye, Vergil sighing in embarrassment.

“But wait,” you were connecting things together, “isn’t...your doppelganger basically...you?” Vergil bit his lip, then nodded.

“Yes, it’s an extension of me, but a version unshackled by doubts and fears…” he admitted, looking more and more uncomfortable by the minute.  

“So...you and it have the same feelings, same thoughts...just that it is able to act on them...which means…” The sudden realization made your mouth very dry.

“That I had...every… intention to give you those things, but my own weakness, my own fears of how you would react prevented me from following through with my plan.  Apparently,” he nodded back, almost in a gesture of thanks towards the ethereal creature, “Even I was getting sick of my own procrastination, and so...IT took matters into its own hands...or claws, as that is a more apt description.”

You did your best to suppress your giggles as the doppelganger smugly stuck out its chest, no doubt being quite pleased at itself.

“But…” Vergil’s voice yanked you back, “It also gave me one final chance to make things right, to take that step I have long feared to tread.”  From behind his back, he pulled out a long black velvet case, and gently, under your widening eyes, undid the clasp of the box, revealing a beautiful, delicate silver necklace, with an amulet that was a deep blue, and glittered like the entire Milky Way had been shoved inside of it.

“Will you forgive this hapless fool?” he asked as he offered it to you.  “I may not be as skilled with my emotions as I am with the blade, nor do I truly understand this whole ‘courting’ business but-”

He never finished, because you grabbed his arm, and pulled him in for a deep long kiss.  The necklace was beautiful, there was no denying that, but it wasn’t the gifts, nor even the way they had been ‘given’ to you that had attracted you.  It was the man, the frustratingly complex handsome, adorably awkward Vergil, that you had fallen in love with.   And silently, you pulled him inside your room, and silently shut the door, giving you both the privacy you both deserved.  No doubt it wouldn’t take Dante long to figure out what was going on, but that was a problem for the future you.  The future BOTH of you…

But as the door shut, you swore that down the hallway, you heard a very pleased, very demonic, rumble of a chuckle…..