#it makes me happy that she left on her own accord and took care of her health like kira

[ferrstappen]

F1 MASTERLIST

CARLOS SAINZ

paella en mallorca: spending time with your boyfriend's family was almost as good as having him for yourself.

mónaco : pero si hay algo que nos quedó es todo lo que pasó en Mónaco (but if there's something left in us then it's everything that happened in Monaco)

CHARLES LECLERC

loving him is red: Charles’ girlfriend receives her first Grammy for Song of the Year, sadly enough the inspiration behind the song isn’t able to make it to the ceremony.

and the Oscar goes to: Charles and his actress girlfriend go to the Oscars, and he has to constantly reassure her.

AirPods and Princess George: a story of lost AirPods and Twitter memes.

titi we don't care: Charles can't seem to handle the fact a notorious singer took interest in you during Monaco GP.

Josephine, baby nº2 and baby nº3 Leclerc (dad!Charles)

the first one (dad!Charles):  Charles tries to prepare to be the best dad for his daughter, even if she’s just two days old.

aren't we supposed to surprise you? (dad!Charles): you somehow manage to overshadow Charles and Jo's gift.

ESTEBAN OCON

LONG LIVE: Esteban Ocon (aka the biggest Spiderman fan, according to himself) tried to bribe his girlfriend for spoilers, but Marvel was just too good keeping their secrets (actress!reader)

LANDO NORRIS

august: every single one of her friends warned her that he was fresh out of a relationship. but she didn't care.

when we broke up series

the first time we broke up: it was easy to remember how you and Lando fell in love, but it kept getting harder for you to remember why you love him.

the second time we broke up: there were reasons to try again, but maybe not enough.

everybody wants a taste : Lando had never been the jealous kind, but after seeing you with many co-stars, he reaches his limit. and his girlfriend doesn't like it (actress!reader)

part ii

Amalia Norris (dad!Lando)

surprise! we are a family : this wasn't planned. you are basically children yourselves and why isn't getting pregnant at 24 not considered teen pregnancy? Now Lando is waiting to meet his baby and hoping he doesn't mess up.

meet & greet : Amalia's first time in the paddock to support her dad.

let me take care of it : when papa isn't feeling his best, baby Norris knows what she has to do.

daddy's a race winner : McLaren garage with baby Amalia in what appears to be Lando’s first win.

MAX VERSTAPPEN

what happens with the kids?: Max really didn't have to find a girlfriend that soon after the divorce, and the fact that his girlfriend had a daughter of her own, didn't really help your case.

max, don't panic (driver!reader): your relationship with Max gets exposed in a non-conventional way, an accident.

max the wag: you can’t keep up with all the drama outside the track, but your boyfriend keeps you updated.

max the wag (again) max the wag (for the third time) max the wag: are we the drama? max the wag: caught in the middle max the wag: is taylor swift coming?

chicken soup: chamomile, green tea, honey, chicken soup, and your boyfriend was the best recipe to get over the flu.

primero llegó verstappen : Suddenly, Max isn't annoyed about being featured in a music video.

SLUT! : this isn’t your first time being a WAG, but people don’t seem to like the idea of you ending your relationship with Joe Burrow and falling in love with Max.

Mila & Luca Verstappen (dad!Max)

SAFE HAVEN: the Verstappen family and St. Barths

Disney World Break: Ahead of the Miami GP, Max and his wife take the twins to Disney World.

happy mother's day, sorry for the mess: Mila and Luca go rogue during Mother's Day, ignoring Max's plan.

unscheduled school visit: the twins’ teacher calls, the twins got in trouble. Max is in disbelief.

maxplaining 2.0: Luca Verstappen's first press conference during his karting career. turns out, he even speaks like his dad.

could you be more obvious? : you show up pregnant for the first race of 2024, just six months after Max won his 3rd WDC.

prompts

Accidentally referring them as "my" (MV1)

and whispering in their ears, "I love you" (CS55)

collections

THE COLLECTION MASTERLIST: pieces inspired by Taylor Swift's lyrics.

all the years we stood there on the sidelines, wishing for right now (EO31)

wanting was enough, for me it was enough (LN4)

[writerslittlelibrary]

I'll always be your safe space, drabble

masterlist

summary: when you come home overwhelmed from a long day of school, all you want is to feel safe and unwind. Lucky for you, your mom and dad are home to comfort you with whatever you need

pairing: Natasha x autistic daughter reader, Bucky x autistic daughter reader

warnings: none I think?  

genre: fluff

words: 858

a/n: hello lovelies, this fic is based on how I experience my autism. please keep in my mind that while maybe your autism might not act this way, that doesn’t make it a wrong representation 🫶

(I was diagnosed by a therapist, please don’t hate on me. I’ve never posted about my autism before because I’ve been afraid of wrong accusations)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Everything had gone wrong today. You woke up with your pyjama pants twisted around your legs and your socks were half off. On top of that, you missed your first alarms, and so you had to wait till 7.30 to get out of bed, instead of 7.15. 

Your days had started off terrible, and it was only getting worse. When you went to get dressed, you discovered the outfit you had planned in your head, was in the wash, and so you had to settle for a different one.

You ran out of your favourite breakfast yesterday, and Bucky had forgotten to buy it, so you had to settle with a bowl of simple cereal instead. 

When you had gotten to school it seemed like everyone had it out for you.

The classes were too loud, and the teachers were annoying. Everytime you zoned out, or decided to doodle a bit to calm down, the teachers called you out and told you to pay attention.

Once you got to maths, the teacher had actually given you detention for doodling instead of listening to her lesson. You tried to explain that by doodling you could focus on what she was saying better, but she wouldn’t hear it. 

Therefore, after the school day, which had already left you insanely overstimulated, you still had to sit through an hour of detention.

After you were finally done, you realised there were no busses driving at this time, so you had to call your mom to come pick you up. Of course, Natasha was happy to do so, and when she opened the door for you, she immediately sensed your mood. 

She didn’t try to talk to you in the car, rather just handed you your headphones and allowed you to go in your own little bubble. 

Once you got home, Natasha had opened your door, letting you out of the car, being careful not to touch you. After you two had gotten up to the apartment, she opened the door for you, allowing you to walk in first.

Bucky was at the kitchen island getting some work done, yet when you walked in he immediately shut his laptop. 

He greeted you with a smile but you didn’t acknowledge him. 

Instead, you kicked your shoes off, heading for the couch and letting yourself fall onto it. Natasha gave Bucky a glance, letting him know what was going on. Of course, he understood immediately, getting up and preparing you a cup of hot chocolate, that, according to you, only he could make properly so that it wouldn’t be too sweet or too watery. 

Natasha took it upon herself to grab your favourite blanket and made sure to grab your some inside clothing, walking to the couch and letting you get changed. 

You had specific inside and outside clothing, and after wearing your clothing outside, it was impossible for you to sit on any furniture in your room with your outside clothing still on. 

After you had gotten changed, Natasha helped you get comfortable on the couch, finally starting to speak. 

“Would you like to watch something, cuddle, or be alone for a moment?” Natasha asked you gently, wiping some stray hairs from your face. You shrugged, not being sure of anything at the moment. 

After a minute or two Bucky walked into the living room, three mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. He had made sure to use your hot chocolate mug, which was different from you cold chocolate milk mug, and he made sure to use the proper spoon. 

He handed you the mug, and you smiled slightly, leaning forward to give him a kiss on his cheek. 

He knew you weren’t up for speaking right now, and he didn’t dare think about pushing you. He always valued the physical affection you used to express your gratitude. 

You sat up on the couch, your favourite blanket draped over you, comfortably weighing you down. 

It was then that you decided you wanted to watch your comfort show, but you didn’t feel like talking, yet you didn’t know how else to express yourself. You though for a moment before turning to Natasha, looking at her with pleading eyes. 

“Do you need something my love?” she asked, softly stroking your hair. 

You nodded and motioned at the tv. Whether it was the fact that they were both highly trained assassins, or the fact that they were your parents, both of them immediately knew what you meant, and they didn’t hesitate to turn your comfort show on. 

They waited for you to initiate the cuddling session, and they allowed you to snuggle into them when you were ready. 

You put your now empty mug down and leaned your head over to Bucky, snuggling into his warm, strong arms and letting yourself feel safe in his embrace. You laid your legs over Natasha’s legs, and she smiled as she say you and Bucky being so close. 

She might not ever admit it, but there was nothing in the world that would ever make her more happy than seeing her child snuggled up with her dad.

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @simp-erformarvelwomen @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @mxximoffswifey @lorsstar1st

[r0-boat]

So..... About that Naga Baizhu? ¬v¬

Snake Man becomes a snake

read all about it!

Naga!Baizhu headcannons+Short drabble

Cw: kidnapping,

Sfw

Cut for length

It all started when a white snake You saw it cowering in fear as to heartless teenagers poked at it with sticks. Pulling at the poor thing's tail even as the creature tried to escape. They had it trapped, Tormenting the poor creature, not until you chase those nasty people away, picking up the white snake gently. The poor thing was hurt and scared You kept it with you until it was ready to be released. When you released the whitesnake it's lizard in the grass and before it disappeared into the bushes It stood up looking at you with its big Ruby eyes flicking its tongue at you You could almost swore it thanked you before rushing into the underbrush.

Your house was connected to a lot of foresty land in the backyard so you are used to seeing wildlife... But you are not expecting the visitor you'll have this morning.

You're not sure how he got into your house. Maybe you accidentally left your back door unlocked.

You heard voices as you were waking up.

"are you sure this is the one?"

"Yes, they saved me a week ago, they're perfect for you."

"All right I'll start burning the blend."

As the blend burned the scent of lavender sage and a mix of other herbs hit your nose. Calming you, as you just woke up you already felt like you were falling back asleep. Barely opening your eyes You could sort of make out the two.

You almost thought you were dreaming when you saw the white snake the same white snake and hearing that same voice from her once again. "They're waking up."

"Don't worry The blend should put them back to sleep."The man next to her said His eyes liquid gold pupils like a snake as he looks down at you His green hair matching with the green scales on his hands I see brushes your hair back caressing your cheek. "Go back to sleep my dear." His voice warm and smooth like honey.

___________

Baizhu had been looking for a mate for a while now, but since Fall Baizhu was too busy taking care of other wild hybrids to worry about finding a mate for spring. So Changsheng to get upon herself, She was careless wanting to see her friend happy She separated from Baizhu's side slithering out of his cave. She didn't mean to be gone for so long.

However, her search was highly fruitful. She found a nice human, a human that took care of her, patched her up, and saved her. The caring hands in sweet smile reminded her of Baizhu. After getting yelled at by an angry, worried, sick Baizhu, his anger softened when Changsheng spoke about what you had done to her. Changsheng is a somewhat prickly character, so listening to her talk so extensively about you made him interested to meet you.

Baizhu knew humans had different mating rituals and knew full well that humans are not a... Intense, as the dominating aggressive Nagas. As much as his species fantasizes about how weaker humans are to them and how they are the perfect mate because of it but very little have the temperament to deal with the relatively complex emotions that humans have.

Baizhu was different. He was not as aggressive or dominating as members of his species. But he was not certainly considered weak either.

The way he took you back to his cave was regrettably something he could have done better. But for some reason, you took it rather well. You are more interested in his snake companion and Baizhu's snake body (which he was happy to show you.) He thought you would fear him. He thought you would run from him. To his surprise, if you'd let you go, you would even visit on your own accord. And you did! You are a strange one. But he liked that about you. He thought he understood humans more than anyone

I references species a lot, but the truth is that Baizhu is the last of his kind. Even with his dear white snake friend being the last, Naga hybrid was a lonely title, so he was so desperate to have you.

Baizhu is obsessed with your human anatomy; He's never seen humans this close. He plays with your fingers, rambling on about how your body looks similar up until the waist—squeezing your legs, wiggling your toes, feeling your smooth, squishy scalist skin. He wants to see if your body will react just like any other female Naga. He wonders what your body would do if he kissed you hot and heavy.

He doesn't mind if you touch him too, He knows that you're curious about him just as much as he is about you. He warns you that his skin is rather sensitive and he does shudder with Even the lightest of your touches. Eucharest his cheek honey hold your hand while nuzzling into your palm his lips gently touch your hand his golden gaze piercing through you.

Naga's are always considered more aggressive monsters, possessive of their mates, and highly protective. Baizhu is on the calmer side, more docile; however, during spring, when his more... Animalistic urges come to the surface, He gets more demanding of your attention—practically hanging off you, desperate to mark you with his scent. Baizhu tries to hold back a lot of his urges, not wanting to hurt you or scare you. Even if you accept his advances, he is still hesitant and tries to be as gentle as he can before fully succumbing to lust. When the cloud over his mind finally lifts seeing your bruised and bitten body, he takes care of you like any good mate and doctor would.

You were surprised how quickly you became Baizhu and Changsheng's heat pack. Baizhu would try to wrap his coils around you in any way when he's doing anything, especially when it's chilly. He'll literally cling on to you have as much of his skin touching yours as he can. This is not inherently sexual to him. He just likes the feeling of your warm body directly touching him. He tries not to admit it, but he gets pouty when Changsheng is being warmed by you but not him.

[rubber-glovs]

I would like to speak up about the hermitcraft situation regarding Iskall.

If anything is wrong, please consult me via dms, I will have it fixed, thank you <3

My heart goes out to the victims of Iskalls manipulation and emotional abuse. I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. Reach out to the other victims or stay anonymous, it is completely your choice.

As to the hermitcraft fans, please do not force any of the hermits for information and do not go to the victims for proof or information. You are not owed it. They are just as stressed as we are. Do not stress them further.

We do not know the full story. Do not assume or speculate about what might've happened. Be grateful for the information we have been given, we are lucky to get this information.

Please do not assume anything about the other hermits in relation to this. Whether it's if they knew or if they have done something similar. This was from ONE HERMIT, ONE PERSON. That is all we know.

Do not make assumptions on why Stress left. We know there are no implications she is involved in the complaints and that False stated she left on her own accord

Hermitcraft is not ending, hermitcraft is not ruined and hermitcraft's community is not unsafe. This was ONE HERMIT, ONE PERSON. There is a difference between the whole server and one hermit.

Believe the victims. It may be hard for you, I can understand that. But with the overwhelming amount of evidence, you simply can not say he hasn't done something wrong. They have been put through a lot by him. It is hard to speak up about something like this, especially with Iskall and his superiority as a popular myct. Listen and hear their voices.

My thoughts and views:

Information and resources:

I feel disgusting and disappointed in Iskall's behaviour. He was trusted, he was loved and he was deemed as a wonderful youtuber. He took this power and his status to his advantage by emotionally abusing and manipulating fans and mods, people who looked up to him.

I also feel betrayed in a way. I never expected something like this to happen in the hermitcraft community but it did. It upsets me. All the people who were hurt had to stay quiet for so long in fear that they wouldn't be listened to. The hermits who are stressed out right now, deleting and removing Iskall from their accounts right now.

I feel terrible for those who were close to Iskall, online or offline. Having someone who you care about so much and seeing him as a close friend/family member and now figuring out what he's done must be hard for them.

I'm sorry for those who loved Iskall's content. I was drawn to him, too, but never got around to watching his videos.

I'm happy the hermits have handled this situation very professionally, allowing the victims to speak up on their own account and not saying much to keep their privacy.

Hermitcraft has become a massive part of my life in the past years. It hurts for me to see something like this. It goes to show that not everything you see online is real. People are different from how they act online.

Stay safe, thank you for reading <3

[eluxcastar]

This is so silly: Fatui Harbingers receiving a bouquet of flowers from their shy s/o?

Harbingers receiving a gift from their s/o

── ୨୧：harbingers x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: it's exactly what's written on the tin but with a side of me being off my head again

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader

୨୧﹑words :: 950

I'm so in love with the requests that let me answer them like a crackhead. but also I'm so sorry to the anons who want me to be serious I've just got the sillies. I spent the entire time calling it a pot until I realised the thing I was actually referring to is a vase and had to go back and change it all

if you're wondering where the shy part went, it was lost to this phenomenon called "I can't read" and by the time I realised it said that I was already done. I feel like this is the second time it's happened.

Alright usual order Tartaglia first. I'll be honest; I have no clue. Like, I literally left his here just saying, "Alright usual order", because what the FUCK would he do. He doesn't seem like a flower person, but also it being his s/o changes that so much because his s/o might make him a flower person. You could guess his favourite colour is yellow and suddenly it's yellow because he's so normal for you. He didn't even like flowers, but omg, you got him flowers. These are his new favourite flowers ever kinda thing.

Next is Arlecchino (more food is coming I promise), and tbh, I feel like she'd enjoy receiving flowers. It's not an overly flashy gift, and it probably took a lot for you to go out of your way to get that for her, let alone give it to her. She appreciates that you would get her a gift at all because receiving gifts feels nice sometimes. You can have a kiss for your flowers.

Third would be Pantalone, whose I kinda answered. Flowers are a gift, and honestly, I love the idea that as long as the gifts have sentimental value, that's what he'll treasure the most. He's gonna display those in his nicest vase for people to see. Why would you be nervous about that? The thought of what people think of them? No need. Nobody critiques his decor and means it. They know better.

La Signora would appreciate them, but they gotta be nice, yk? And like, you've gotta pay attention. There's no point if you just get whatever's available. Does she like those kinds of flowers? Do they smell nice? Compliment their surroundings? It's in the details that say you care because, to her, it means you were paying enough attention to consider it for what is a very standard gift for many people.

I did Scara then realised I forgot Sandrone omg anyway flowers, she would love those in her own silly little way. They're nice, and it's so cute that you went to the effort that she might just smile at you. She's 100% gonna keep those to herself and just stare at them for a while because someone got her a gift (this basically never happens) (if it did who the fuck are they?? unimportant 🙄)

Aight we got Scaradouche. Firstly no way this man is going to let you immediately know you got him a gift he likes. Flowers? That's such a girly present to give someone 🙄🙄 (They'll be in a pot on his dresser within the hour). He wouldn't usually want flowers, but since you already went and got them, he'll just have to. Just a little, I think he'd be losing it on the inside, kinda like when someone says they're so normal about something, and you know they're fucking lying. Like that

I totally missed Pulcinella last time, so he can get some flowers now. Honestly, I can see why I forgot him. I probably intended to do him but didn't have an idea and was like, "I'll come back to it", then got hit with this thing called filthy liar syndrome. Old people like flowers so he'd be happy with that, something nice to add some colour to a room or something Idk I'm not old (I'M SORRY I'LL BE SERIOUS). Some of you have no grandfather OR father you just like me fr so I'll throw in for y'all that he'd be proud of you for picking out such a nice gift and acquiring it of your own accord (which you are capable of) because it must've been difficult to get past the initial conversation starter problem.

Already off that train, we're finally at Capitano. I can't say for sure cause he has two lines but tbh, he seems like he'd like it. You can have a nice pat on the head and everything cause aww you went to all that effort just for him? That deserves a nice cuddle ❤️

Columbina thinks of it like anything else you do, more confused as to what the occasion is than anything and not very sure what provoked you to do this, but she accepts it and thanks you nonetheless because she still does like it. She just also wants to know what you're doing and why, but she's satisfied with the answer that you just wanted to and cuts you off before the apologies if she doesn't like it.

What the fuck did you get Dottore flowers for?? Like, what would he do with them?? That's awkward. He'll take them off your hands, but after that, he kinda just 🧍 because what else does he do? He can look at them and sit them somewhere, but like they have no purpose. The effort is nice. He probably doesn't want these again tho unless he can use them for something. You'll get a thanks, but like he's kinda bad at hiding that he's got no idea what to do with it. Get him some flowers that are useful rather than decorative maybe?

We are at Pierro, and I think it's a bit of a mix. On the surface, he may seem like he doesn't want them and only accepts them to save your feelings but secretly treasures them ❤️ I like the idea of him being sentimental toward his s/o because something about it is just cute. It also matches the vibe, like, he's got a very closed-off exterior that you are used to that's meant to hide that adorable and undeniably vulnerable interior that really, really loves you and all of the things you do for him.

[dgttwisted]

Together

n2 squad aka Leona x Vil x Jamil idea inspired by @mellosdrawings

this drabble is crossing cannons aka not cannon cannon aka (don't think to hard on it i wrote this because i had a cute thought an wanted to wright it)

-

according to the schedule is which dorm takes care of Lilith an Grim which week. as per usual when Vil gets Lilith for a week he spoils the crap out of her. This week will be no exception however he had something a little different planned.

-the night before the new week-

"as you know this week our dorm will be in charge of Lilith's care"

"i know?"

"lucky you"

"well i wanted to do something special we have discussed having kids in the future an i thought all of us could try helping Lilith this week together as a unit"

"sure I'm in as far as kids go Lilith is no where near as hyperactive as Cheka is"

"hate to rain on your parade but that might not work well"

"why not?"

Jamil dramatically points at himself

"oh yea she's scared stiff of you"

"how could i forget she cried her eyes out when you ran into her at night during your stay at the dorm for practice"

"didn't you save her though? during the whole Styx rescue?"

"she was asleep the whole time i doubt she knows what happened unless someone told her I'm pretty sure she has no idea that, that occurred"

"worry not I'll butter her up so when you make your appearance she won't be as scared"

"we'll figure it out sense Vil is dead set on this being a team effort an all" Leona said in a rather dry sarcastic tone which earned him a pillow to the face from Vil.

--the beginning of said week--

Vil had only knocked on the door once before hearing the shuffling as the door swung open Lilith jumped into Vil's arms "VIL!!!!!!"

"my little star!" Vil scoops her up an swings her around

Leona had the biggest smirk on his face he just knows Vil spoils the crap out of her to get that reaction our of her.

"hi Leona...are you sleeping over to?"

"heh yea something like that"

"your not allowed to steal our bed like you did last time jerk!" the shrill voice of grim caused them both to look down at the displeased fur ball. "i'll set you on fire if you do"

"i'd like to see you try-"

"so Lilith not that i need it but i will be getting a little extra help this week watching over you"

"i don't see Rook an Epel"

"that's because its not them this time its Leona an someone else who is very special to me they will be coming over later"

"ok you're here so i know i'll have fun" Vil giving her little kisses on the cheek for that one, Lilith is Vil's trial daughter would have loved to adopt her but was informed it was out of the question.

while Leona an Vil where playing with Lilith they had Jamil sneak into the kitchen the plan is to hopefully bribe Lilith with food to forget her trauma....

Lilith was holding a little tea party she tied ribbons in Leona's hair who just let it happen because Lilith seemed to be having a good time.

"a splendid party like always Lilith!" whenever Lilith is happy she glows so it makes it very easy to tell if she is lying about liking something but she gets rather embarrassed when you point that out.

Jamil had a trey of sweets he only took two steps into the room when Lilith lifted up her head saw him an screamed. 'about what i expected' Jamil thought to himself right before a plastic cup smacked him in the face curtsy of a scared Lilith.

Vil scooped her up trying to calm her down but she was wailing "NO NO GET AWAY!!! MONSTER!!!!"

monster probably hurt him the worse but considering how he treated her while be Over blotted he expected that reaction. he placed the trey on the floor an left the room.

it took Vil quite some time before Lilith calmed down an when she did Leona scooped her up an fed her some sweets gave Vil the look of 'i got this one you get him' an Vil left to check on Jamil

"i apologize i knew she was scared of you but i didn't think it was still that bad"

"you have nothing to be sorry about....this is my own fault"

"i know you didn't mean to-"

"take it out on her? yea well when i over blotted i did! i swatted the rest away an tormented a toddler...."

"but you also saved her even if she doesn't know that you did"

"she won't ever know an that's fine...I'm normally better with kids you know? if we did this whole practice thing with any other kid i could have shown off how capable i am an-" Vil kissed Jamil on his cheek

"i know how capable you are"

--

Leona swaying Lilith about trying to get her in a sleepy mood but she seems to shaken up to sleep. "hay squirt want to hear a bedtime story?" Lilith nodded

"k..." shit guess he actually has to now "long ago...actually it wasn't that long ago probably a week ago a big bad guy with blue flames for hair kidnapped a princess an challenged 5 hero's to stop his evil plan an save the princess they had to split up in order to have a chance of beating him leaving many trials an tests along the way on of those hero's was yours truly an the other was Jamil" hearing his name even during the story made Lilith tremble a little but leona swung her around a bit before nuzzling her face making her giggle "how can a monster be a hero you might be asking yourself? monsters can learn to grow from there mistakes i to had moments of being a monster but i grew out of it" for the most part.

"anyway all the hero's including the monster agreed that we had to save the princess as well as stop him he made it real tough you know every time we made a big attack he kept holding the princess just out of reach so we couldn't save her but i guess it takes a monster to know a monster because the monster saved the princess dove over an grabbed her from the clutches of the bad guy"

"Jamil really do that?"

"yup saw him do it with my own eyes"

"...." she was still fuming "listen kid you don't gotta forgive him for what he did don't blame you if you don't, but i promise you he regrets hurting you an he is trying i promise"

"can i get a different bed time story?"

"nope, you're stuck with the one i gave you"

"Vil would have told me another one"

"I'm not Vil"

Lilith stuck her tunge out him an Leona repeated the motion back at her. "good night little herbivore" he tucks Lilith in an she is sound asleep in minutes.

next morning Jamil making breakfast in the kitchen his plan was just to make food an leave before Lilith woke up. he stopped when he heard a ruffling "grim is that you? you have to wait until Lilith gets her share before you eat it all-" he turned an froze when he saw Lilith peeking from behind the wall just staring at him. he turned away from her so she wouldn't have to look at his face.

he heard tiny foot steps he could tell she was standing right behind him. "thank you" his head went up but he didn't turn around he wasn't expecting that.

"thank you for saving me....Leona told me you saved me from a monster..." she then kicks the back of his leg "i still don't like you though" an she ran away to go get dressed into not P jays

Jamil left standing in the kitchen alone with his thoughts till Vil an Leona came by. "you didn't have to do that"

"what tell her the truth? well i did hopefully she'll throw less stuff at you now-" Jamil rested his head on Leona's shoulder in a very subtle way of saying thank you which Jamil was to shy to say. Leona an Vil hugged him close let him know he wasn't alone an they would figure this all out together.

"hay can i eat food now or do i have to wait till your done hugging an shit" that earned Grim a smack from Vil "you better not say such vile things around Lilith"

"ow! i'd never after all im her role model"

"yikes maybe we should have Lilith move dorms so she has better role models"

"I'm all for that, i say Pomefiore she would have much better role models including Vil"

grim blew out flames "NO SHE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE"

"aw you do care about her"

"duh! She's my henchmen!"

the three of them laughed as they helped get Lilith an Grim ready for class today.

[mirandasidefics]

But Home is Nowhere- Chapter 9 (Pt2)

Pairing(s): Lucien x Plus Size Reader, Azriel X Plus Size Reader, and Ruhn Danaan x Plus Size Reader

Chapter 9 Pt2 Summary: Reader and Lucien finally get a chance to be alone while the High Lord of Day attempts his hand at subtle match making. However, things don't go according to plan.

Word Count: 9.3k (oops)

Warning(s): 18 + (MDNI), flirting, angst, alcohol use, self-deprecation, low self-esteem/worth, sexual tension (no smut), and nudity.

A/N: Here is the second part. This is a Lucien heavy chapter and was a BEAST overall. But I had so much fun writing it. There are a couple of places where the POV switches suddenly, but I wanted to show each scene from different character perspectives and not have to repeat the same events to do so. Again, thank you to @hardcoremarvelfan for her assistance with this chapter start to finish! And thank you to my team of beta readers! You guys are all amazing! Please let me know what you think. This is a slow burn fic, and I hope it's not moving too slowly story wise.

Series Masterlist Divider by @tsunami-of-tears

Previous: Chapter 9 Pt1

During your breakfast of fruits, yogurt, and pastries, Helion informed you and Lucien of Mor’s return to the Night Court. The story he provided was that she had been called away by Rhysand. You knew that was a lie but didn’t understand why Helion would do so. Lucien simply shrugged, not at all fazed by her absence. You knew that he still didn’t quite get along with many of Rhysand’s closest friends and found family. To your knowledge Lucien never joined the ranks of that found family. Never present for the “family” dinners and only stayed for part of the two main holiday celebrations in the Night Court, Starfall and Winter Solstice.

For your first Starfall, Nyx had been just a bit too young to join in on the festivities. So, you stayed at the River House caring for him. After about an hour of supposed celebrations Lucien had joined you. You smiled as you remembered taking turns reading him a bedtime story.

When the Winter Solstice came around, you had opted to stay at the townhouse alone. You claimed to have your own traditions that you wanted to keep. Which was partially true. However, the thought of not being with your own family yet having to witness the happiness of another kept you confined to your bed. Though you had been pleasantly surprised to find the small gift from Lucien on your dresser that morning. It was nothing fancy, just a small blank notebook. The cover consisted of beautiful, pressed pale-yellow chrysanthemums and daisies preserved in a glass window.

Part of you had wondered if the choice of flowers was intentional. So, you had asked Elain if she was familiar with their meanings. She told you they meant friendship and new beginnings. Fitting in so many ways. You returned the gesture a few days later, baking him some of your Grandmother’s famous fudge. He hesitated at first, but eventually accepted the sweet treat.

One of Helion’s hearty laughs pulled you from the memory. You would have to express your gratitude to the High Lord. For the reprieve from being watched. It was a relief to not find Mor outside your bedchamber waiting for you as she had the past few mornings. Now you could have the conversation with Lucien that you’ve wanted to for over a week. You wanted, no you needed to pick his brain for insight regarding your passage through the Prison wards, your confrontation with Azriel, and your dream. He had left so abruptly. You needed to check in on his well-being as well.

Your eyes drifted over to Lucien; the male’s russet eye crinkled at the corner as he joined in Helion’s laughter. The sight took your breath away. The smile was wide on his features. His shoulders didn’t hold the same tension they had the day before. The golden hue of his skin simply radiated joy. In that moment you couldn’t burden him with your problems, despite the pull you felt to talk to him. At least, you couldn’t burden him right now. You knew that you had to talk to him at some point. The confrontation you had with Azriel and Mor’s blatant comments about your time with your best friend weighed heavy on your mind.

“Oh, if the two of you would excuse me,” One of Helion’s attendants righted himself after whispering in the High Lord’s ear. “I have a few things to take care of, but I will see you later this afternoon. If you haven’t had the chance, I would highly recommend a walk through the botanical gardens.” He winked at you and rose from his spot. While you were happy to finally have the time alone with Lucien, you weren’t sure if you’d be up for a walk.

“That sounds lovely,” the Autumn Court male rose from his seat as well, offering his arm. “Shall we, my lady?” You couldn’t stop the laugh that spilled from you. You soon found yourself rising to your own feet, linking your arm with his. How on earth are you supposed to say no to his smile?

Lucien could tell that she was tired. Her steps were slightly slower, and the light tint of blue underneath her eyes hinted that she hadn’t slept. He wondered if her despondent mood was based on the lack of sleep, or if it had to do with Mor's comments. She had been detached for most of their time in the palace and he was having trouble reading her. He had hoped that with Mor leaving her mood would improve. Seeing as that was slow going, he would have to see to it himself that her good humor returned. 

The gentle breeze jostled her hair. The sound of wind chimes echoed across the oasis, nearly drowned out by the sound of the small water fountain at the entrance to the garden. The lush archway was covered in ivy and wisterias. For a fleeting moment he was reminded of the Spring Court, and the gardens that surrounded Tamlin’s manor. He glanced at the human beside him, her eyes glazed over as she took in the scenery around them. A small part of him felt bad for dragging her out here, but they hadn’t really had any time alone together in over a week. All he wanted was some time with her away from prying eyes. 

Of course, separation wasn’t new to them. There had been times when he would be down in either the Spring Court or Mortal Lands for weeks on end. Yet somehow this past week and half felt different. Perhaps, it was because he had remained in Velaris and…he felt guilty for lying to her regarding his whereabouts. Even more so after learning from Ruhn of her sleepwalking incident. He expressed gratitude towards the Midgardian male for being in the townhouse that night. 

A part of him knew he shouldn’t have let Amren’s admonishing comments get to him. Especially after (Y/N)’s breakdown at the Prison. Nonetheless he stayed away. Those comments, coupled with Morrigan’s penchant for observing the truth of matters, perhaps it was high time that new tactics for the woman’s healing journey be explored. He knew Ruhn would be all too willing to help with how tightly he was warped around the human’s finger. Truth be told, the idea of another male sharing her bed didn’t sit well with him. But if Ruhn could provide her with the care and support that Lucien himself couldn’t… He’d have to bite his tongue and express his gratitude again when he asked him to continue to look out for her. 

As they walked towering hedges, ones taller than Lucien, lined either side of the white pebbled path. Every now and again a small alcove would be carved out. Some with seats that allowed you to bask in the sun, others had tables. One even had what appeared to be a canopy bed. Lucien watched her from the corner of his eye as they made their way through the labyrinth.

“Did you get any sleep last night?” He questioned as she tried to stifle a yawn. She turned her head towards him, eyebrow furrowed. He could almost watch the gears turn in her mind as she debated on telling him the truth. Her focus continued to fade in and out, pupils dilating and contracting ever so slightly.

“I haven’t really slept since our first night here,” Her face fell with the admission. His heart ached at the shame that filled her voice. Prior to the events at the Prison, she had been doing well. At least well enough that he hoped a few days away would not have taken the toll it did on her. And if the tonics weren’t working; then they truly would need to find alternative solutions to managing her nightmares. 

“With Mor around I didn’t want to risk,” She paused. “I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. The tonic isn’t helping. I think I’ll need to talk to the healers directly to find out if there was a change in the ingredients. Or if it's possible that a person can become tolerant of them.” She looked at him then. A sadness mixed with that lingering shame. 

Lucien kicked himself internally. He really should have told Mor to shut the fuck up regarding her opinions on their relationship, especially if she was going to continue to keep the nature of her own romances a secret. The fact that she was now the second of the higher-ranking members of Rhysand’s court to express their thoughts on his friendship was not lost on him. It was also not lost on him that (Y/N)’s feelings were irrelevant to them. In much the same way that Nesta had been forced out of her darkness, it appeared that the Inner Circle believed themselves superior in knowing when a person needed healing and how that healing should occur. The only difference between the eldest Archeron and their new target was that (Y/N) was not on a path of self-destruction. 

“We should rest then,” He took her hand and interlaced their fingers. “There was a nice area in an alcove just a few paces back.” 

“No Lu, it’s okay,” She tried to protest. “I’m okay, I promise.” Lucien continued his path, gently tugging her along. Despite her words, her body didn’t resist him. 

“Then why do I not believe you?” The resting area was the perfect setting for a nap. Tucked behind a wall of green and under a beige fabric canopy was a large mattress resting on a stone platform. Pillows and blankets of varying sizes were tossed about in a decorative fashion. Knowing the reputation of this court’s High Lord, the bed was probably used for activities that did not involve sleep. However, his companion desperately needed some rest. Nothing would deter his resolve in seeing that she had found a few moments of peace.

“Why does he have a bed in the middle of the garden?” She asked, coming to a halt after rounding the corner of what served as the entryway to the alcove. 

“I’m almost certain we do not want the answer to that,” Lucien chuckled, pulling her along. He sat her down on the mattress and began to remove her sandals. 

“I can do that myself,” Lucien swatted her hands away.

“It's fine,” He made quick work of the straps. “I’m already done.” He placed her footwear to the side and kicked off his own boots, setting them next to hers. Gently, he pressed her back to lay on the bed. His own body followed, hovering over her form for the briefest of pauses, and then he was next to her lying on his side. She rolled over to face him, allowing his arm to drape over her waist before he brought her closer.

“Get some rest,” He encouraged as his hand began to stroke up and down her spine. A soothing gesture he often used to get her to calm down when her mind raced at night.

“But I’m not tired,” She fought another yawn.

“Bullshit,” He chuckled.

“Okay, I’m a little tired,” She relented, tilting her head to look at his face. “But I can’t take a nap right now, not when I have so much to tell you.”

“And what is so urgent that it can’t wait an hour or two?” He smirked. She twisted her arm out from underneath her body and pointed her index finger at him.

“You have to promise that this information is cataloged in the farthest and most well-guarded recesses of your mind,” Her tone was serious. “Rhysand cannot find out, even if there is a good chance that he already knows.”

“I swear,” He tried to match her serious tone, but he knew that his smile was getting in the way. Pushing herself up on her elbow, she swirled her head around, looking for any potential eavesdroppers. Once satisfied, she bent down towards his ear. Her breath puffed against his skin, causing the small hairs on his neck to rise.  

“Rhysand’s story of me being his cousin is very likely true,” She whispered. “There is a secret entrance to the Prison that Bryce pushed me into that day. I was able to pass through the ward, in and back out, with no issue.” Her eyes were conspiratorially bright.

“Is that what made you so upset?” He tried to reign in his mirth. “That you found out you are related to an overgrown bat?” Rolling her eyes, she sighed and lightly smacked his chest.

“No,” Her tone became softer as she laid back down. “I cried because I allowed myself to feel a glimmer of hope, just to have it dashed by a failed portal to my world.” The hand at her back reached up to her face, his fingertips brushing the side of her cheek.

“I’m so sorry.” She gave him a weak smile, brushing off her own feelings as she attempted to shrug her shoulders. “Is that what caused your nightmare?” His hand returned to its previous ministration along her back. Again, she shrugged.

“Could be,” He felt a shiver run through her at whatever memory surfaced. “All I remember is a festering and desolate darkness that tried to drown me.”

“That’s not ominous at all.” She released a breathy chuckle as her eyelids drifted close.

“My dreams are never prophetic,” She explained. “Just weird. It’s more likely my mind’s way of trying to process being cornered by Azriel in the kitchen that night.” Her voice drifted, and if she noticed Lucien’s hand freeze at her revelation she didn’t let on. Lucien felt locked in his anger towards the Shadowsinger.

“What did he want?” His voice was clipped.

“He wanted to apologize,” She buried her face into his chest, and the rising anger settled. “I told him off instead. Nicked his chin with a knife as well.” Her exhalation evened into a steady rhythm, and he resumed running his fingers along her back. The repetitive action soothed his nerves as well.

“Good girl,” She hummed in response. As she finally drifted off into sleep, Lucien’s mind swirled.

 You hadn’t even been asleep for 30 minutes when an attendant came and woke you. Begrudgingly, you and Lucien complied, the male putting your sandals back on for you despite your ongoing protests. The attendant led you back to your room where several dresses were laid out on the bed and hanging in the armoire. Dresses in varying shades ranging from stark white to cream to ivory. Some were speckled in golden accents, others all monochromatic. One dress was entirely golden.

The dress that immediately caught your eye was a simple column gown with thick shoulder straps that seamlessly flowed down to create the bodice. The neckline was low and would reveal an ample amount of cleavage. A braided rope created a beautiful silhouette, cupping the outline of the bodice’s breasts and wrapping around the waist several times over. The attendant informed you that the dresses were yours and for your use in the Day Court whenever you came to visit, along with the room itself. While it was a similar gift to what Rhysand had done, Helion’s offer was not one of apology or self-assigned obligation. The true intent of his action had not been lost on either you or Lucien. Helion’s offer marked a standing invitation, and an allyship if ever needed.

With the help of another female attendant, you had changed into the dress. You had to hide the small blush on your face as you watched Lucien pause when you emerged from your room. The two of you then followed the male attendant through the winding cobblestone streets of the town surrounding the palace. He led you to a large building whose entrance reminded you of the Parthenon in Athens.

Helion was inside, sitting at a long central table. A stack of books piled to his mid-chest. He was scribbling on a piece of parchment paper with a feather quill. You smiled at the sight, but you couldn’t quite place why. His greeting was as warm as always. Excusing the attendant, he gave you and Lucien a summary of the central library’s history. The one you were in currently was the largest library within the Day Court, but it certainly was not the oldest. However, he was confident that whatever information you were looking for on Prythian's early history would be located within its walls. You simply smiled in thanks; you had not yet revealed that you were from another world and looking for a way home. 

 After an afternoon spent searching through books, the last thing you had the energy for was another formal dinner. It almost seemed that the High Lord was aware of your lack of sleep when he offered a much less formal affair. An evening in a small intimate chamber. The center of the room consisted of a square recessed seating surrounding a fire pit. Two walls were lined with books, while a third housed a small selection of wine next to the door leading to the rest of the place. The fourth really didn't exist as it was yet another open entrance to a terrace that overlooked the lands. So many of the rooms were open in this manner, allowing the natural sunlight to fill the space.

Currently you were snacking on bits of herb roasted chicken, plucked off one of the wooden trays of food that lined the edges of the pit, a few were even scattered along the empty seats. In your other hand was a large clear goblet, filled with a deep crimson wine. Helion informed that the batch was made from the palace’s ancient vineyard, a testament to a perfect blend of ancient craft and magic. You had to admit that the wine was the best tasting wine you had ever experienced.

Fae Wine was much sweeter than you had expected. Flavors of dark cherry and bergamot coated your lips and tongue.At first Lucien didn't want you to drink the intoxicant. After plenty of reassurance from Helion, Lucien only warned you to pace yourself. Of course, you didn’t listen, not fully realizing that Fae Wine was much stronger than normal wine. You found yourself with your walls and inhibitions considerably lowered. For instance, if you had drunk regular wine, you wouldn't have been unabashedly staring at your friend for the better part of 15 minutes. Despite his continued conversation with Helion sitting across the way, you could tell he watched you as well.  

“Forgive me for asking,” You sat on your knees, leaning towards Lucien as he sat in front of you. His legs stretched out on the large couch in a relaxed posture. “I know it must be a sensitive subject, but how does that golden eye work?”

“I can see out of it just like my real eye,” He explained, turning his gaze fully towards you. “My friend from the Dawn Court enchanted it, allowing me to see. I have complete control over the device, and it responds and reacts in all the same ways my natural eye does.” Your eyes went wide, and you felt your cheeks burn from your smile.

“Absolutely fascinating,” You crawled over to him, the alcohol preventing you from caring about personal space. You climbed into his lap, straddling his hips, and began to examine the contraption. You had never looked at the eye up close. The mechanics were definitely a marvel to behold.

“It does more as well,” He smiled at you, his fingers playing with the ends of the cords holding your dress together. “It has the capability to see through magical deceptions. Glamours, spells, and occasionally lingering traces of magic.”

“How?” You cupped the right side of his jaw, turning his face to get a better look. Accompanied by a faint whirring the pupil of the mechanical eye expanded.

“When there is lingering magic on an object, or even a person,” He began. “The image becomes hazy, out of focus. The eye focuses until the image is clear, which allows me to see the true nature of the object.”

“What do you see when you look at me?” He turned his head forward to look into your eyes. His lips open and shut like a fish causing you to giggle. You gently rubbed your thumbs on each side of his face as you held it.

“I think your boldness has put him at a loss for words,” Helion laughed from his seat across the way. You had forgotten that you weren’t alone.

“He’s spent too much time in those stuffy seasonal courts,” Lucien scoffed at the High Lord’s comment, the puff of air hitting your neck. “Perhaps he needs a proper demonstration on how to respond when a beautiful woman seats herself upon his lap. Care to join me for that demonstration?” The High Lord patted the top of his muscular golden thigh. 

You felt heat rise to your cheeks. Biting your bottom lip, you started to move off Lucien’s lap. You only managed to move about 2 inches before you felt his warm hands wrap around your hips pinning you against him. Heat bloomed in your core at the friction. His lips curled up in a snarl as he stared at the other male. Helion merely grinned. 

“Oh hush!” You smacked the redhead in the center of his chest, your other hand moving to his shoulder to keep your balance. “He’s joking. We all know that I’m not beautiful.” Your voice became softer as you said the words out loud. Despite your slightly drunken state, you felt the shift in the air as both males practically began to examine you. 

“How would you describe yourself my dear?”  Helion asked. It was your turn to pause. You had never really seen yourself as beautiful, but you also knew that you weren't exactly ugly. 

“Plain,” You hummed, twirling a bit of Lucien’s long hair around your finger in your attempt to feign an air of nonchalance. “Homely, unappealing, just shy of decent.” You rattled off each synonym. Your attention shifted to Lucien as your name drifted past his lips. You unraveled the hair from around your digit. 

“What?” You honestly didn’t understand why he appeared displeased with your statement. “Oh don’t give me that look, Lu.” You playfully pushed his face away from yours, but remained seated in his lap. 

“How should he look at you?” Helion asked, leaning forward on his elbows. The merriment that filled the room was slowly dissipating. “Because from what we see the description you provided for the woman in the room with us is a bit harsh.” Your face flushed with irritation, leaning back and away from Lucien’s chest. Why couldn’t they understand that you had accepted the fact that you weren’t beautiful and just leave it at that? 

“Well for starters I don’t need false praise,” You tried to keep the air light, the following lie floating off your tongue. “It’s not harsh when what I say about myself is objectively true.” You shifted your weight, but Lucien’s hold on your hips was firm. 

“Then by all means,” He waved his hand, smiling as if he had won. “Tell us some of these objective truths.”  

“I’m not conventionally pretty, but there are parts of me that are…nice,” You stated, turning your upper body  to lock your gaze with the High Lord. You square your shoulders before speaking again. 

“Like my legs.” You felt Lucien’s hands drag their way down your hips down toward your thighs. You felt exposed by the soothing circles he rubbed into the bare flesh as the dress’ fabric fell at the slits. The alcohol coursing through your veins gave the impression that his hands were warmer than usual. 

“What else?” Lucien’s voice was barely above a whisper. A reassuring squeeze to your outer thighs sent a scorching heat through you. Your legs tensed and your hands fell to your sides.

“My eyes,” You swallowed, your attention returning to the male underneath you. “I think my eyes are pretty.” As Lucien’s mismatched eyes bored into you, you noticed a fire burning in his russet iris. 

The flame grew as he stared at you, and your heart began to flutter. You watched as his golden mechanical eye expanded and contracted. His lips twitched with unspoken words. Words you were suddenly afraid to hear. His fingers danced around yours, trying to interlock them, but you kept them at your side. You needed to curb this conversation before you were set on fire by the intensity of his gaze. 

“But it has been my experience that when men give me compliments they only do so because they want something from me, not because they genuinely believe their words to be true.” Your head whipped back to the High Lord. “As soon as they don’t get what they want their pretty words turn to ash.” 

“That last one is not objective then,” the High Lord pointed out. “Rather those are the words of scorned human men, not Fae males who understand and see the natural beauty in everything the Mother has created.” Your body felt hot, and you shifted your weight as far from Lucien’s hips as you could. Poised and ready to leave if this conversation continued. 

“I’m sorry High Lord,” Irritation flashing over your senses, causing the filter from your brain to your mouth to momentarily slip away. “But those are just more pretty words.” Lucien’s hands gently followed your body’s every shift with a sense of hesitation to them. You didn’t want to focus on what that hesitation meant. 

“No need to apologize to me dear one,” Helion leaned back in his seat. His honey eyes flashed to Lucien, whose grip on your upper thighs tightened unconsciously. At least you hoped the action was unconscious. You didn’t want to believe that he would ever want to hold you close in what was certainly a compromising position. Hastily, you stood up from your perch on his lap.

“I’m sorry,” The apology tumbled from your lips, and you ignored the flicker of disappointment on his face. “If I made you uncomfortable…I sometimes…I should go. Excuse me.”

“Wait,” Lucien swung his legs to the side of the couch and grasped her hand, desperately trying to interlock their fingers. “Please, love.”

“Let go, Lu,” Her breath was ragged as she gripped the wrist of the hand trying to hold on to her. “Please.” Her fingers slipped through his, and he could tell that something wasn’t right. His eyes fell to her legs, the fabric of her dress parting at the high slits showcasing their shape as she raced for the door. Helion sat up again, watching as she darted past, calling your name as well.

“I didn’t intend for the conversation to upset her,” Helion apologized as the door shut behind her. “It’s a shame she doesn’t see her beauty. She is remarkable.”

“She is,” Lucien continued to stare forward, his voice breathless as his eyes lost focus. “She’s beautiful.”

“Beautiful, yet in a very different sense from your mate. I have nothing against the Archeron girl, but (Y/N),” Helion’s eyes lingered over the space that she hurried from. “She seems much more your speed. Don’t let her go so quickly.” 

“She doesn’t belong to me,” Lucien stated simply. His eyes regained their focus on the male before him, schooling his features in the process.

“Hmm…Then should I see if she’s interested in joining me in my chambers tonight? Worship her like the goddess she is.” Frustration built up inside him, nearly boiling over and  Lucien’s mask of indifference fell ever so slightly. The High Lord raised an eyebrow. “Or perhaps not.” 

The two males sat in silence for a few moments longer. The once light atmosphere now dulled in the human’s absence. Lucien could feel the beginning effects of the alcohol on his mind, as he drummed his fingers along his knee. Her departure didn’t sit right with him. The way she spoke of herself. If Helion sought her out, his words and actions may only solidify her beliefs about herself. She should hear it from someone she trusts to be honest with her. Lucien had to make it right. She had to see that she was stunning in her own way.

Abruptly, he stood from his chair and strode over to the wine rack. Grabbing two bottles of Day Court’s best he then stormed out of the room.

“Have fun,” Helion smiled as he watched the door close behind Lucien. “Son.”

Lucien didn’t even bother with knocking on her door when he arrived at her room. With one bottle under his arm, he simply turned the handle and strode right inside. 

“Why must you go and say such things?” He demanded.

“What things?” She was grating his nerves.

“You know damn well what I mean.”

“I’d really rather not fight with you Lu,” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Can we have this conversation when we are both sober? My head is starting to hurt, and I’ve not slept in two days!” She walked over to him, hands wrapping around the fabric of his white linen top. A playful pout danced across her features. Almost instantly the anger drained from him.

“By the Cauldron,” He dramatically rolled his eyes. “How can I say no to that look?”

“You can’t,” She smiled, tucking a stray strand of his hair behind his ear. “You are my best friend here Lucien. I just want to change and relax, preferably by curling up with you on the balcony. The weather is so nice here.” He gently clasped her hand, holding her palm against his lips. 

“As you wish,” He watched as something crossed over her features, but it was gone too quickly for his buzzed mind to process. With surprising grace, she walked over to her luggage and pulled out her nightclothes before proceeding to the ensuite bathing chamber. With the tap water running, he made himself busy by finding glasses and pouring each of them a fresh glass of wine. 

When she emerged, he was lounging on the “L” shaped couch set just at the opening of the bedroom as it led to the balcony. The khaki-colored cushions were plush and soft as he leaned against them. She sat down next to him, and he handed her the glass he poured. She immediately consumed half the glass, before she tucked herself into his side.

The town below Helion’s palace glowed a soft warm golden hue. It almost reminded him of Autumn, with the torches and gas lamps lining the streets of the village nearby the Forest House. Together they drank their wine. His arm over her shoulder, her free hand raised to hold his dangling fingers. They sat like that for a while. They sat for so long that he almost thought she had fallen asleep.

“Azriel thinks you and I are fucking,” Her statement pierced the comfortable silence.

“What?” Lucien nearly choked on the last dregs of his wine.

“Yep,” She emphasized the ‘p’ with a pop of her lips. “Apparently, I am a shameless human whore corrupting the right and virtuous Fae Lord.” She giggled to herself. “Oh! That rhymes!” She lightly smacked his chest in delight.

“He called you a whore?” Lucien could feel his fire just under the surface of his palms.

“No. No,” She took a small sip from her glass. Her eyes still focused on the flickering lights of the town surrounding the palace.

“But there was a clear disapproval of the fact that we share a bed whenever we are together,” She sighed, Lucien’s nod was barely visible as she continued to ramble. “Remember when I told you about how he cornered me in the kitchen? That’s when he insinuated that I must enjoy having another female’s mate in my bed. Apparently, beds are no longer used for sleeping. Just fucking, and since we share a bed that must be all that we do. Fuck.”

That now made three. Three members of the Inner Circle expressed their disapproval of his actions. Already believing that he was not a male of his word. He knew he didn’t have the best reputation after…while living in Spring the past couple centuries. If he had to be honest, he was an absolute rake. So why was he trying so hard to prove otherwise now? He was startled as she let out a dramatic gasp.

“What if that’s the reason my sleep tonics don’t work!” Uncrossing her legs she spun to face him. “What if one of those fucking assholes switched them out? For contraceptives!” Lucien blinked at her a few times, his brain trying to process the near ludicrous statement she had made.

“That is an interesting theory,” He couldn’t hold in his laughter. “But you always fall right asleep after taking your tonic. So how does that fit in?”

“That could be the placebo effect!” Her animated movements caused him to laugh more.

“The what effect?” He laughed. She groaned and slapped her palm against her forehead.

“So, the horrible cliff notes explanation is that my brain had adapted to falling asleep right away after drinking my tonic,” He nodded along even though he had no clue what she was saying. “So, if someone switched it without my knowledge, my brain still thinks it’s taking the same tonic. Therefore, it behaves in the same way by flooding my brain with the “sleepy time” signals. My brain is tricking itself into falling asleep, but the tonic isn’t actually in my system to keep me asleep. I have nightmares because my brain isn’t getting what it had been before.” Her eyes were wide, and if she hadn’t drunk nearly three bottles of Fae Wine on her own since the start of dinner a few hours ago, he may have believed her.

“Okay, well then for the sake of the argument,” He placed his empty glass down and began scooting closer to her, “Maybe they are doing us a favor. I do sleep in your bed more often than I sleep in mine. And I was known as a male with many dalliances.” Waggling his eyebrows Lucien clutched her arm and leaned into her side. She looked at him with round wide (e/c) orbs.

“Perhaps we should take advantage of these contraceptives and ravish each other,” He buried his face in her neck, playfully growling and nipping at her skin. She yelped and pushed at his face, all the while giggling. He grabbed the back of her knee, the act of pulling her towards him resulted in her back landing on the couch cushions below. Taking her wine glass out of her hand, Lucien set it on the small table. Her laughter was contagious, and he felt lighter than he had in days.

“Be serious,” She continued to giggle from under him. “You wouldn’t want me.” He leaned down, hovering above her. 

“What makes you think that?” He brushed his nose against hers. This time she didn’t laugh.

“The fact that you are a good male,” She squeezed his cheeks together until his lips puckered like that of a fish. His vision blurred as the skin was mushed around. She let go and slipped out from under his arm. He sat back up and watched as she picked up her glass. His mouth dried up as her ass jiggled from her prancing a few steps out of his reach and back into her bedroom proper.

“That has nothing to do with wanting you or not,” He said smoothly, standing and following her inside.

“You’re right,” She mused. “But you don’t want me.”

“How do you know? What makes you so sure?”

“First, you have a mate,” Her tone took on a more serious edge. “One that is beautiful beyond comparison.” He remained silent. It was true that his mate was the most beautiful female he had ever seen. So then why did he feel guilty when he saw the sad recognition in (Y/N)’s eyes.

“Secondly, this,” His eyes followed her hand as it waved up and down the length of her form. “This is not attractive. This-”

“Yes, you are,” He was breathless. He watched as she clenched her jaw.

“No,” Her tone was indignant. “And I’ll prove it to you.” She set her glass down on a nearby table and her hands immediately clasped around the hem of her top. In one quick motion the emerald top was gone, and Lucien’s breath caught in his throat. Mother spare him, he tried to look away but wasn’t quick enough. His eyes caught sight of her bare breasts as they gently bounced from the movement.

“I hereby challenge you to a game of chicken,” Picking up her wine glass, she sauntered over to him, swaying her hips. “The first to show physical signs of arousal is the loser.” She held out her free hand to him. He knew that the terms of the little contest were set in her favor. She’d have to allow him between her legs for him to see any evidence of her arousal, but he convinced himself that the wine swayed him to agree.

“What does the winner get?” He asked, pulling his shirt up and over his head. Her eyes roamed over the expanse of his chest.

“The right to determine where the night goes,” Her saccharine smile practically sent him to his knees. “Anything goes, except the direct stimulation of genitals.” Suddenly, the room became unbearably warm. She continued her path towards the bed. She set the glass back down on the nightstand, and slowly removed her matching emerald silk sleep shorts. 

He felt himself stiffen at the view of her shapely bare form before him. While he could blame the wine for influencing him, he had clearly already lost. He said a silent prayer in thanks to the Mother that his trousers were still on, and she was facing the opposite direction.

“Though I do believe that the odds are in your favor,” She giggled to herself as she turned to face him. She placed herself on the bed as she watched him, picking up her glass for a final time. He took the opportunity to finish undressing, watching as her throat bobbed from swallowing the rest of her wine. Her eyes sparkled as he shed the last bit of his clothes.

“You know how I know?” She practically purred from her position on the bed. “Because you’re too good a male to find anyone except your mate arousing.”

“Being a good male is a burden really,” He smiled, and began to crawl up the mattress. A fox hunting its prey.

“Poor baby,” She leaned against the headboard, arms settling over her stomach, blocking it from view. He was vaguely aware the pose served a double purpose of hiding what she felt was a flaw while perfectly framing her assets. He reached where she sat on the bed. She allowed his fingers to trace up along her bicep, over her shoulder, and across her collar bones. His golden eye focused on the skin that pebbled in the wake of his touch.

“Poor baby indeed.”

“If you were to relieve your burden,” She allowed his hand to continue its travels up the side of her neck and cup her cheek. The scent of arousal permeated the air, but he didn’t call her out on it. He lowered his face towards hers, their noses barely touching.

“I would wrap my lips around your nipple like a starved babe,” Her eyes went wide but were quickly filled with doubt. He watched as she visibly started to close herself off. Shoulders slumping forward and her knees rose to her chest.

That was not exactly the desired effect he had wanted from  her. He wanted her to know just how gorgeous and tempting she really was. And Cauldron boil him she was tempting. His gaze wandered over her form to the ivory lace bottoms she still wore. Even without the alcohol coursing through him, he knew in that instant that if she were completely bare before him, he would bury his face between her legs. He should have called her out for the sweet scent she emitted.

“We should sleep,” Her voice whispered, as she turned away from him.

“And miss the opportunity to prove to everyone, to ourselves, that-”

“We are just friends,” She interrupted, turning back to look at him. Her gaze traveled over him. “Besides, you lost the game.”

Lucien sighed as she fought back her own giggle. The tension in the air evaporated just as quickly as it had arrived. He didn’t need to look down to know that he was hard as a rock. He should have known better than to agree to her terms.

“Fine you win,” He turned and sat next to her on the bed, his left leg bent to block her view of him. “But you are a cheater by wearing those panties.” She stuck out her tongue. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm his erection. In through his nose, out through his mouth.

“You know,” Her voice trailed off as she covered herself with the cotton sheet. “I feel a little bad about your situation. But I really do believe that…”

“I wouldn’t have proposed anything more than sleeping, love,” He reassured, pulling the sheets back and climbing under them as well. “Not because you are right, but because you desperately need sleep.” She nodded, humming thoughtfully to herself, before she turned on her side facing away from him. He started to scoot over towards her when she pushed her hand in his face.

“Nope!” She warned. “No cuddles until you’re flaccid.” 

Lucien was just on the cusp of waking. His base senses and instinct were the only things drifting through the fog of early morning slumber. The room was quiet, as was the still sleeping city outside. A cool early morning autumn breeze danced over the bare skin of his shoulder as it peaked out from under the light cotton sheet. The air caused the flesh to rise in small bumps, each one threatening to bring even more awareness to his consciousness. However, it was a welcome sensation compared to the stuffiness of the room. Then again, the shifting body next to him was pleasantly warm. 

Slowly he became aware of his hand resting on a soft plush thigh that was wrapped over his hips. The weight of the limb was comfortable and grounding. A steady rhythm of warm air ghosted over the pulse point of his neck. His voice involuntarily gave way to a whispered hum. With the slightest shift, to not wake himself nor the figure next to him, Lucien merged into the softness. Hand wrapping around the waist to bring the plush figure flush against his, he allowed himself to meld with the body resting nearly atop him. Soft full breasts pressed into his chest and a hand found its home near the top of his shoulder.

The scent of vanilla and honey lulled him back into a relaxing sleep. He didn’t even notice the touch of jasmine was missing from his mate’s scent. It was replaced with another soft warm earthy aroma. Amber. She felt so good sleeping against him. A slight nudge of the tip of her nose against his throat caused his hips to buck ever so gently. He didn’t dare open his eyes or move as the female took a quick inhale of breath. Nothing sharp enough to indicate wakefulness. The nose again brushed along the column of his throat, a set of plush lips quickly following. 

He was nearly awake now with the blood rushing to the growing appendage below his waist. He didn’t know what had entered Elain’s mind to where she felt the need to crawl into bed with him, but he was glad she had. Except…that didn’t seem right. He hadn’t fallen asleep in the Night Court last night. Therefore, there was no way that Elain could be here right now. His heart went into an instant gallop as his eyes shot open. It most certainly wasn’t Elain that was so tightly wrapped up around him. Carefully he pulled his head back far enough to look at the sleeping woman. As he looked down at her figure he tried to prevent his length from stiffening more. 

The early morning rays of sunlight filtered through the sheer white gossamer fabric hanging down around the marble columns surrounding the bed frame, cascading down across her skin that wasn’t covered by the sheets. Her features were relaxed as she continued to sleep on his chest. Something deep in him, deeper than where his magic lingered in his bones, hummed. He knew that he should be separating himself from her, but he couldn’t get his body to comply. It was as if it would only respond to a higher power, one that was perfectly content to have him remain right where he was.

He must still be drunk. That’s the real reason for his lack of control. Bits and pieces of the night before tried to stitch themselves together. He remembered entering her room, another two bottles of Fae wine in his hands. Mother above, two bottles. Internally, he rolled his eyes at his past actions. That had been a mistake. He didn’t remember if they finished said bottles, which then led to his conclusion that they must have. It had been a long time since he had woken without his memory fully intact. As much as he wanted to continue to lie like this with her, he knew that should the wrong person decide to enter the chamber they would have a more difficult time dissuading any rumors. However, he couldn’t bring himself to jostle or rush her out of her slumber.

A gentle tracing ghosted along the skin of your back. The shiver that passed over you slowly brought your mind to consciousness. You knew instantly that Lucien was with you simply from the fact that you were not screaming. You felt like you were floating, you were so at peace. Your own fingers twitched along the warm skin of the chest beneath you.

“Good morning sweet girl,” Lucien murmured. Perhaps you were still dreaming, but you could have sworn you felt his lips press against your forehead.

“Hmm, morning,” You didn’t want to open your eyes. Pressing further into his warmth, something stiff poked at your inner thigh. Your eyes shot open. You bolted upright, flinging the sheet to the side and stared at the expanse of golden skin before you.  

“Why are you naked?” Your voice rose in pitch and volume with each word, your cheeks flushing crimson. ‘Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look!’ You really tried not to look down, but you apparently lost the ability to maintain control of your own body. Your (e/c) orbs darted down and back up. You desperately wanted to rid your mind of the image of his hard cock, if even just to prevent yourself from wandering to it late at night, but you knew that that sight would be forever burned in your brain. You shook your head of the fleeting thought that the females in his life must certainly have had a good time with…well, him. 

“I think the better question is why are you?” His own eyebrow quirked up in mirth. He clearly found this all much more amusing than you did. So far, all this has just proved that maybe it was time for distance. You glanced back down at your own body to see that you were in fact mostly nude. You sighed in relief when you saw that you still had a pair of underwear on. However, your relief was quickly replaced by horror in the fact that Lucien was able to see the rest of your naked form. You were aware this wasn’t exactly the first time you’d been in a state of undress around him, but he had always averted his eyes.

Your head snapped up to look at him. Had you been any slower you would have missed the fact that his gaze rested on your chest. Hastily pulling the blankets to cover yourself, your face flushed a second time. You likely would not have minded his stare had you been wearing a bra or a tank top. You knew that your full heavy breasts were eye-catching and enjoyed that fact when you had your short bouts of confidence in your appearance. But that wasn’t when gravity had full control of them as it does now. 

“What happened last night?” You wracked your brain for any explanation as to why you’d both been in your current nude state.

“What do you remember?” He asked. You wrapped the sheet around you, tucking the ends in at the top to form a makeshift robe.

“I remember returning to my room,” Your brows scrunched together. “The rest is blank. Fucking shit balls, I’ve NEVER been black out drunk before.” You pressed the heels of your palms against your forehead. Your head hurt and nausea washed over you. You were going to be sick. Grabbing the bottom of the sheet you ran towards the ensuite bathroom.

The porcelain toilet was cold against your fingers as you heaved your guts into the bowl. Within seconds, a pair of hands carded their way into your hair and pulled it back out of the way. One hand continued to hold your (h/c) locks back while the other rubbed your back in soothing circles.

You were grateful for him. He seemed to always know what you needed and would support you in any way you needed support. And you knew you’d do the same for him. So, the least you could do is support the fact that he has a mate by putting some distance between the two of you. And he’d need to know exactly why, even if it meant being hurtful at this moment.

“The others have been talking,” You started, but another wave of sickness left your body.

“Shh,” He continued to rub your back. “I-I know. We can talk about that later though.”

“I think it's best if there is some separation between us,” The words felt hollow in your ears even though you say them. “I’m not about to be labeled a homewrecker, despite the fact that no home exists for you and Elain right now.”

“Nothing happened between us,” He tried to reason, but you could hear the uncertainty in his own voice. “Did it?”

“You don’t remember?” You turned to look at him as he continued to kneel next to you, you noted that he had yet to cover himself. His hands paused for the briefest of moments. As the waves of your nausea subsided your attention went towards your lower body. You knew your body well. While you were no virgin, it had been a few years since you had sex. Given Lucien’s size, and the lack of a dull ache between your legs, you could tell that at least no penetration

had occurred between the two of you. He was certainly a much better male than anyone gave him credit for.

“I’m quite certain nothing happened,” You rested your head against the bowl. “And why would it? Look at me, I am nothing compared to her.” You wanted to ignore the flame that shone in his eye. The one you knew was sparked from irritation.

“Surely you must not think that I’d be so shallow-”

“Aren’t all men-males?” You were going to win this fight. You would always make sure you won this fight. Anytime someone tried to convince you that your appearance didn’t matter you would argue against it. You had been scorned too many times by men in your past. You knew that your appearance certainly did matter a great deal to anyone that wasn’t just looking to get his cock wet.

“Then again, men don’t care what you look like if they know the night will end in sex.” But they certainly cared when it meant introducing you to others as a potential partner. And as far as you were aware, your physical appearance wasn’t ‘girlfriend or wife material’ worthy. Lucien just stared at you, so you stared right back. Even if he had to lie to you, lie to himself, you could not afford to hope that Fae males were any different. You could not hope that any of them could find you beautiful.

“I will not lie to you-” His voice almost sounded defeated.

“Good,” You cut him off again, looking up. “Then we can move on.” You hoped he didn’t miss the pleading look in your eyes. Flushing the toilet, you made to rise from the floor. Lucien helped you to your feet, and continued to hold your hair as you took small sips of water from the sink’s tap. Removing his hand from your hair, you interlaced your fingers with his.

“I’m not cutting you out of my life, Lucien. You are very important to me. We are friends and can still support each other. I love being with you. We just need to be mindful of how the others see it.” You knew that space was needed. It was necessary, even as something inside you felt like it withered.

“Alright,” He relented, as you splashed your face with the cold water. “What are the boundaries?” He was leaving it to you to decide.

“We have to be the most careful while in the Night Court,” You started. “Physical contact in public should be reduced to linked arms when appropriate. Verbal greetings only. No more nights spent at the townhouse.” You tried to maintain eye contact with him and not let your eyes drift along the expanse of his still exposed body. As much as it scared you, you would have to brave being alone. 

“You and I both know that you sleep better with someone next to you,” He reasoned. “If I can't be there then at least…at least have Ruhn with you. I’m certain he’ll be willing to step in wherever I can’t.”

“He can’t always stay with me,” You informed him. “He has a battle for his own world that he is trying to fight. What am I supposed to do when he’s in Midgard? It terrifies me to think what would have happened that night.” The fact that you nearly walked right off the roof of the townhouse was a chilling thought.

“Then let’s ask Helion for assistance,” Lucien supplied. “Ask him to speak with Thesan. He’s the High Lord of the Dawn Court, a healer in his own right. Surely, he will have knowledge about other sleep or dream preventing tonics.” He raised his hand and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“That could work,” You quickly turned away from his gentle touch. Something deep in you screamed as you walked away and out of the bathroom.

“What do we do when we’re alone?” You tried to stop your heart, but it’s pounding filled your ears. Naturally he followed you, but it was a long while before he said anything else. He slowly got dressed, as did you. Anything to keep yourself occupied while you tried to think.

You didn’t know what to say. If there was nothing between you now, then there shouldn’t be any need to change what you did when alone. Except, being alone with him may only continue to fan the flames of rumors. You needed to do what you could to keep each other in your lives, even if that meant you couldn't touch him in the ways you wanted. Why did this feel like a breakup?

“It’s probably best that we remain consistent,” You watched as sadness flashed across his features."At least for now."

“As you wish.” 

Next- Chapter 10 (~ 7/12/24)

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[playedcrowd5610]

Bedrest - Transformers x Danny Phantom Crossover

Summary: After the events of "Additional Medical Assistance Required," Knockout decides to put Danny on Bedrest. But Danny has other plans.

---

Notes

Set in a series where Danny finds Starscream one day and decides to start haunting the Decepticons. That's basically all the context you need but if you want more here is the rest of the series:

Haunting the Nemesis

Part 1: Chasing Stars

Part 2: Burning Rubber

Part 3: Adventures of the Decepticons' Pet Ghost Or Tumblr Master List

---

Danny’s been put on bedrest, and he was not happy about it. He couldn’t believe it. And surprisingly, it was Knockout who had been the one to try to ensure Danny took care of himself.

“According to this information,” Knockout gestured to the screen behind him that displayed diagrams of human biology and notes that he had accumulated over the last day, “and what the human medic insisted," He rolled his optics. "Humans need rest to heal properly after sustaining significant injuries such as yours. Without it, they risk worsening their condition. So, until you’re healed, you’ll need to remain under constant Decepticon surveillance.”

Danny stared, slack-jawed, perched on the edge of the medical berth. Starscream stood on the other side of the medbay with his arms crossed as he listened. “You can’t be serious. I don’t need to be babysat! I’m fine! This sort of thing happens all the time,” Danny argued.

“The human medic was very clear that rest is essential. Well, when she was not scared out of her mind anyway,” Knockout replied, optics narrowing with a touch of exasperation. “And as the Decepticons’ chief physician."

"Only physician," Starscream muttered.

Knockout continued, ignoring the commander. "It’s my job to ensure the health of those on the ship.”. Danny would have appreciated the care that Knockout seemed to be showing him if it weren't for the fact that Danny. Didn’t. Need. Babysitting!

Danny scoffed, throwing his hands up in disbelief. “Since when do you listen to humans? I know my limits—it’s not that bad.” He paused, frustration filling his field. “And I’m not a Decepticon. You can’t just order me around.”

Starscream’s optics flickered as he stepped forward, his tone sharp but with an undertone Danny could almost mistake for concern. “If your health is at risk, you will listen to Knockout.”

Danny glared over his shoulder, eyes narrowing at Starscream. “You never follow orders when you’re on bedrest. You can’t make me stay here,” he snapped.

Knockout rolled his optics dramatically. “Yes, we can. Until your injuries heal, you are to—” He glanced at the notes on his monitor. Danny didn’t know if they were from the internet or from what the human nurse explained to the mech while Danny was unconscious. “—reduce strenuous activities such as stretching, running, walking, and maintain as much rest as possible. You’re to also remain in calm, non-stressful situations.”

“Right, because living on a Decepticon warship in the middle of a war is so stress-free.” Danny couldn’t help but laugh, though the motion made him wince as pain flared across his torso. He clutched his side, and Knockout raised an optic ridge while Starscream looked Danny up and down, wings flicking with concern. 

Knockout let out an exaggerated sigh. “Doctor’s orders. Starscream, take him,” he said, waving a servo dismissively behind him. “I need to clean up my lab after the organic mess you left behind.” Knockout shuddered. 

Danny opened his mouth to protest, but Starscream scooped him up with both servos before he could get a word out. The Seeker moved carefully, making sure he didn't move Danny too quickly and accidentally strain his injuries.

Danny sighed as Starscream carried him out of the medbay. He was now stuck with a crew of twenty-somthing-foot-tall, metal, battle-hardened babysitters who wouldn’t even let him walk on his own. It was going to be a long week.

-

Danny was already bored, and it had only been two hours. Usually, he would be perfectly fine sitting around in Starscream’s quarters while the Con went over datapads, but the fact that he had to stay there because the Cons said so made him want to explore more than ever.

Danny waited another few painstaking minutes, glancing around at his personal shelf. More and more personal items seemed to be added each month. Sometimes, he would find extra things placed in with his belongings that he hadn’t had before — things he was sure Starscream must have picked up on his little missions. He’d noticed that Starscream was a hoarder, but the Seeker kept everything meticulously organized and enjoyed collecting little gifts or souvenirs. Danny was confident that if he ever asked Starscream where the items came from, the Con would either ignore him or deny everything. The thought made Danny smile to himself.

But he was still bored. And salty about being put on bedrest. He was sitting on the old beanbag, already having tossed one of the miniature datapads haphazardly to the floor. Soundwave had a few extras in storage, and Danny had no idea why the Cons had miniature datapads, but he wasn’t complaining. He rolled his head back and stared at the ceiling.

He needed to stretch his legs. He glanced up to ensure Starscream was still hard at work—and he was. Danny stood up slowly, taking care not to tear his stitches, and walked to the edge. His steps were silent as he kept his eyes on Starscream and jumped off the shelf, floating safely to the ground.

Once on the ground, Danny headed for the door. He felt the pull at his stitches with every step, making him wince, but freedom was worth the pain. He only had about twenty more steps to go until—

Suddenly, Starscream’s large, heeled pede slammed down in front of him. Danny stumbled back and looked up, meeting Starscream’s scowl. Danny returned the expression, crossing his arms. “I was just stretching my legs,” he tried.

Starscream stooped down and snatched Danny up without a second thought. “I believe 'stretching' and 'walking' were both on Knockout’s ‘not for the human’ list,” the Con said briskly, striding back to his desk. Instead of placing Danny back on his shelf, Starscream set him next to the datapads on the desk and sat down to continue his work.

Danny frowned. “Right, and now I have nowhere comfortable to rest,” he muttered, crossing his arms.

Starscream barely looked up. “You should have thought of that before trying to escape,” he said, swiping on his datapad. Danny rolled his eyes and sat down on the cold, hard desk.

He noticed Starscream glancing at him a few times, each look more annoyed than the last. Danny wasn’t even doing anything! Abruptly, the Seeker stood up and walked to the other side of the room, where Danny’s shelf was.

Danny stood up to see better and walked to the edge of the desk. Starscream turned on his heel and brought back Danny’s beanbag, blanket, and one of the datapads.

Starscream glanced down at Danny near the edge and used his servo to push him back to the middle of the desk, likely assuming Danny was trying to escape again. The Con promptly dropped the items next to Danny and sat down to resume his work.

Danny bundled the items together to create a comfortable sitting spot and smiled up at the Con, who kept periodically glancing over as if to make sure Danny was still there. “Thanks,” Danny said.

Starscream ignored him, but Danny could see his wings twitch in acknowledgment.

-

It was the next day, and it was time for another escape attempt. Danny was sitting on the counter with Breakdown and Knockout in the room. He had been told to “stay put,” but there was no way he was going to listen. His wounds had healed more, and the pain was bearable. He was perfectly fine to start walking around now.

He glanced up as Breakdown and Knockout were thoroughly distracted by each other — Knockout fussing over a new ding or scratch in his paint and Breakdown trying to calm him down and help buff it out — an exhausting experience, from the looks of it.

Even though it was entertaining to watch the two scramble like that, Danny had some escaping to do, and this distraction was perfect. He quickly jumped off the counter, landed softly on the ground, and headed for the door. Instead of almost getting stepped on this time, he made it, and the door opened easily for him.

Luckily, the hiss of the door hydraulics was quiet enough not to alert the two mechs. Danny made it down two hallways before a large tentacle wrapped around his torso and lifted him into the air. Danny let out a surprised yelp as he looked around to see who or what had grabbed him, only to meet Soundwave’s visor.

“Oh, hey,” Danny laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “What are you doing out here, Soundwave? I thought you’d be in the control room.”

Soundwave tilted his helm, and the security footage of the medbay flickered onto his screen, showing Danny’s escape. Danny sighed and slumped. Soundwave raised both servos, placed Danny into them, and retracted his tentacle.

Danny sat down in the servos with his legs to the side. Soundwave spoke up. “Statement: Danny is injured. Statement: Knockout has placed Danny on bedrest until further notice. Observation: Danny is not abiding by the rules.” If Danny could see the Con’s optics, he was sure he’d be getting a disapproving glare.

“I’m fine!” Danny threw his hands up in exasperation. “Really, you guys are worrying over nothing.”

“Incorrect.” Danny stared up at the Con. “Soundwave and Decepticons: concerned for your wellbeing. Danny: almost died without intervention.” Danny felt a pang of guilt. He really had almost died. The Cons were just trying to help, in their own way.

Danny sighed. “Fine. I’ll rest,” he relented. Soundwave flashed a smiley emoticon on his visor and started walking back toward the control room. Danny looked up at him, confused. “Am I not going back to the medbay?”

Soundwave glanced down. “Negative. Breakdown and Knockout: proved insufficient at guarding you. Soundwave and Laserbeak: much better.”

Danny laughed and leaned back in Soundwave’s servos.

-

Needless to say, the next time Danny was put under Knockout and Breakdown’s care, he found himself placed in a large glass observation tank to minimize any escape risks. It was something that would easily contain an average human—not Danny, of course, But Knockout didn't know that. And at least it was comfortable. 

Knockout had looked so proud of himself when he set Danny in there, too. If Danny hadn’t been so tired, he would have tried to escape the moment the Con turned around, just to prove a point. But for now, he leaned back on the blankets that had been placed inside the tank with him. This wasn’t so bad.

-

Danny managed to escape from Knockout two more times, and now Soundwave had transferred Danny’s care to some of the Vehicons whenever Soundwave and Starscream weren’t available to watch him. Danny didn’t mind; he loved the Vehicons. 

Danny glanced up at Roddie, who had him clutched in his servos as he and C-27 patrolled the ship’s hallways. C-27 was always a stickler for the rules, while Roddie tended to be a troublemaker. The two were often put on shifts together to make sure that they kept each other balanced. Or, at least, so C-27 could keep Roddie in line.

Roddie was always excited to see Danny, jumping at every opportunity to pick up the "human" and ask him questions. C-27 always seemed snippety around Danny and would tell Roddie off for harassing him. C-27 cared about Danny and Roddie in his own way; he didn't want either of them hurt, but he masked this behind his professionalism and strict rule-following. 

As they walked, Danny shifted in Roddie’s hold a little too quickly, sending a sharp pain shooting through his side. He hissed and grabbed at the injury reflexively. Both Vehicons stopped immediately, alarm sparking in their fields.

“Are you okay?” Roddie’s tone, usually light and playful, was now serious and tinged with worry. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, no, I’m fine. Just moved too quickly,” Danny waved them off.

C-27 levelled his visor at Danny. “If you are experiencing any excess pain, we are instructed to take you to Knockout for an examination,” the Con informed him.

Danny sighed. “Really, guys, I’m fine, see?” Danny smiled brightly and stood up on Roddie’s servos, who promptly used his other servo to cup around him to make sure he didn’t fall. He was met with more flat looks and concerned fields. “Okay, if it happens again, you can take me to the medbay, okay?”

The two Cons glanced at each other and decided that was a good enough compromise. “Fine.” C-27 reluctantly agreed.

“But if you feel any more pain… just tell us, okay?” Roddie said. 

Danny smiled up at them. “Promise.”

They continued their patrol, light commentary passing between them—mainly between Danny and Roddie—as C-27 tried to remain professional. But Danny could tell he enjoyed the conversation, not to mention the company.

-

Needless to say, after all of that, Danny never ended up able to escape. Now, his injuries were finally healed enough to be taken off bed rest, no longer a need for constant supervision. He was still told to keep an eye on his injuries, but he was free to do what he wanted. But now that Danny had the choice, he still wanted to hang with the Cons all day anyway.

---

Find more here: Tumblr Master List

[verdemoun]

au where fuck john marston because playing the epilogue has me upset. let kieran and mary-beth have the beecher's hope happiness

john replaces kieran in horsemen apocalypses with obviously much more devastating impacts

abigail is completely catatonic, leaving it to the gang to take over being jack's full-time carers

it has never been more obvious john was dutch's favorite son. chapter 5 levels of instability with hosea still there to watch his downfall and try to pick up the pieces

the gang go after colm in braithwaite fashion. in the process they discover colm has been working with bronte as mules to run bronte's weapon selling operation, and it was bronte that revealed where the gang were hiding thus leading to john's death

hosea joins in the assault on bronte's mansion, seeing dutch kill bronte and making a grim comment about not being the man he knew[loved], which almost seems to pull dutch out of it

no one realises hosea had in fact been shot until he falls off silver dollar dead, his last words to dutch anger and disgust

the gang are still forced to flee to beaver hollow in the aftermath of bronte's death, which the gang were much more visible and destructive in. all that was left of the mansion was soot-covered marble

except, kieran was able to claim colm's bounty AND retrieve the blackwater money, as an unknown member of the gang with no bounty in west elizabeth. there was an unspoken tension of the gang knowing they had enough money to flee, but dutch has no plan. dutch doesn't care anymore. he misses hosea, he misses his son

as micah becomes a more vocal presence and dutch has clearly reached a point of not caring, the gang falls apart quicker. arthur, knowing he's sick, forces lenny to leave and go find the future hosea wanted for him. strauss and trelawney both leave of their own accord. charles leaves to help the wapiti earlier, while eagle flies recovers from a bullet wound acquired trying to steal back their horses alone. miss grimshaw, seeing her words have no impact on dutch, who is no longer the passionate, charismatic man she had once loved, takes karen and tilly before their alcoholism/loyalty kills them both (arthur aggressively encouraging tilly as a sibling)

mary-beth stays because kieran (who she has fallen more and more in love with, and had those feeling requited) refuses to leave arthur, who he considers a friend and is devastated to watch waste away from illness and mourning, and because she is the only one left who can take care of jack.

abigail is captured by pinkertons, but with john's death, seeing how happy jack has been with mary-beth (who saved jack during the pinkerton attack, and can read with him and seemingly be a better mother than she has ever felt she was) fights more recklessly and is killed saving arthur from milton

sadie and arthur learn not only was micah a rat for the pinkertons, but he had also been an o'driscoll and ratted on them too. milton brags how stupid the vdls had been to let micah in, with micah telling colm their every movement, only to tell the pinkertons both gangs' secrets. which means micah had been responsible for john's death as much as bronte was, and micah had also lead to hosea's death

mary-beth and kieran leave with jack, under sadie's begruding protection while arthur tries to save dutch from blindly following micah's command as micah tries to replace hosea as the one dutch turns to when he doesn't have plan.

this leads to arthur's last stand, with dutch shooting micah as retaliation for john and hosea's death, and sitting beside arthur as he took his last breath. dutch would later be killed by pinkertons, still sitting beside his last son's corpse

mary-beth becomes an author, with jack always mentioned in the dedication as the proof reader. she buys beecher's hope with her book's first cheque because living in saint denis while trying to conceal they were part of the vdls is much more difficult

jack grows up spoiled with his love of reading nurtured and kieran a patient man teaching him about horses in a gentle way that inspires passion instead of the idea of performing masculinity. jack doesn't see his role models belittle his dreams of writing or choose revenge over staying with family. with him. they get a dog and name it merlin because the legend of king arthur is their favorite story to read together. jack reads it to kieran, who does learn to read for himself but will prefer jack reading to him

[bighairyballsharry]

"A downpayment for your love" - Rafayel x Reader

Here you can keep up with this fanfic: Part 2

*** This is a fanfiction based on the Love and Deepspace mobile game. The original story has been altered according to what I had in mind regarding a love scenario with Rafayel. In this, the MC (aka you, the reader, hi there) did not grow up with Zayne. I will try to write it gender neutral, but it will have more feminine takes on you as the MC of my story. ***

You were always poor. Especially after the wanderer attack 14 years ago, when you lost your family. You were left to fend for yourself. Sure, people from the community that knew your parents tried to help you while growing up, but it was never for free. Everybody had to pull in their weight one way or another. You had to either take care of their kids or their houses, make yourself useful in a way.

You learned at a very young age that everything has a price in this world. Even as a young tween, you would often dream about what life would have been if the attack never took place. Maybe your parents would have been the ones working their asses off in order to provide for you, like the other parents in the community are doing for their offsprings.

Growing up, you would look at the families you worked for, wishing sometimes that it was you in their children's place. You were happy to be able to work for your future and collect money, but something deep inside always yearned for the comfort of a family and financial support. It didn't matter anymore, you learned to hide that deep inside, hoping that one day your kids will never have to feel what you have been through. You were putting in all this hardwork for your future family.

You worked through your teenage years. You were always booked, therefore you hadn't had much time to spare for a higher education, or any education at all. Working various jobs, you managed to rent yourself a small studio flat at the ripe age of 18. This way you stopped depending on your parents' friends, finally starting to live on your own and start preparing for your future family.

After working in a few bakeries and trading goods, you decided to focus on just caretaking jobs that would include cleaning and cooking for the elderly, sometimes babysitting. You found out that this was an area that suited you best. After all, you were a very caring person with a big heart. You were longing to fill the void, even if you had to do it by taking care of other people's needs. At least you were getting paid for that and hell, you needed all the money you could get.

"Hey, (Y/N)! How's business?" One of your childhood friends asked. You were taking care of their family's bakery shop for the weekend.

"Depends, mine or yours? I'd say good since I managed to snatch a few clients from your regulars." You said winking jokingly. "Not a lot of people came by today. Maybe tomorrow. I will make sure to stock the bread properly so it doesn't go stale until your dad comes back. I still don't know how to bake properly, so I will sell the stock you've left for this weekend." You smiled at your friend.

"Don't worry about it too much. You are doing us a huge favour by keeping the bakery open for us while we are away." Your friend smiled as they brought in another basket of freshly baked goods. "This should be enough until sunday."

You gave a small nod, cleaning the counter. You were happy to be helpful, even if you worked for free this time. They did provide a shelter for you while growing up, you want to pay them back in your own way.

"Haven't gotten many gigs lately?" Your friend asked as they wiped their hands on a rag.

"I got one new gig, in Linkon. There is an old lady needing a caretaker. I am going on a trial on monday, her granddaughter said she will pay me for that day." You explained eagerly. Indeed, on your terms you were finally breaking through. You made it all the way to Linkon City! Sure, it's a 3 hours train trip, but you were finally able to work in the city, were opportunities to find rich clients were endless.

"Isn't that too little for the 3 hours trip? Your rate is not gonna be able to cover the cost." Your friend hummed, not sure if you made the right choice.

You eyes gleamed with pride. "It's in Linkon, and the payment is 5 times my rate!" For you it was a lot, but for a normal Linkon citizen it was quite a small price. But then again, you were working in a very unfortunate village to begin with, you were not aware that you could win more than that for the services you gave out.

"No way! We barely make that in 3 days, yet you make it in one day?!" Your friend was stunned.

You smiled happily. You were now sure that you finally made it. You felt it in your bones, your luck was about to change!

----------

It was monday morning. You left your village at 4 in the morning to get to Linkon City at 7 o'clock sharp. You were supposed to get to the client's house around 10:30 in the morning, so you wanted to make sure that you will find your way in time. You were hired by a young woman around your age. She is starting her career as a Deepspace Hunter and her grandmother is growing weak, so she wants someone to be by her side while she is away during the day. You were on trial for the dsy and if everything went well, you could be coming in almost everyday. You were excited. You were wearing your church clothes, in hopes to make a good first impression. With the money you were gonna get for the first day, you could buy material to make at least 2 new dresses. Your village is extremely cheap, so for you, today's payment was like a lottery win.

You were walking around and gawking. Everything looked like a dream. You could not believe your eyes the contrast between Linkon City and your village. Your village looked like a nuclear waste field compared to this city. You were starting to feel like you were out of place, as your clothes were really old and sewn together to last longer.

Finally, you arrived at your client's house. It was 10 o'clock. Better to be early than late. You approached the door and gave it a knock.

"Ah, coming!" You heard a woman's voice. Judging by the youthfull tone, you thought this might be the granddaughter that hired you. "Hello, this is-..." The door opened to reveal a thin girl with brown hair. She looked at you with a smile as she presented herself. You quickly bowed your head, straightening the material of your clothes.

"H-Hello, this is (Y/N)! You hired me to care for your grandmother." You explained a bit nervous. As you stood up, the girl smiled at you warmly.

"Perfect, you are early!" She chuckled a bit. Her remark made you feel flustered, maybe you should've waited 30 more minutes. "Come in. It's good you came early, I got a call from the Hunters Association, I have to go in earlier than normal. You coming earlier gives me a chance to also meet you before entrusting you with grandma." She smiled.

Her words were reassuring, her voice and antics making you feel welcomed. You walked inside, shy, folliwing her around the house. She took you to the living room where an old lady was sat in a green armchair.

"Grandma, this is (Y/N). She is here to look after you while I'm away." The girl walked next to her grandma and leaned forward to talk to her, while taking hold of her hand gently. The old lady looked at you, squinting her eyes before putting on her glasses. She smiled once she was able to finally make out your face.

"Oh, hi, dear." The old lady smiled gently. "I am Josephine, it is nice to meet you. My, but your blouse reminds me of how my daughter used to dress when she was around your age." She said genuinely excited. It took you by surprise, and it made you feel a bit self conscious, but you smiled politely.

You sat and chat for half an hour, before Josephine's granddaughter had to leave. Things seemed to workout properly, so you were excited for the actual work to finally start. Once it was only you and Josephine you got in the 'zone', started cleaning up around the house, made food for Josephine and made sure to prepare dinner so her granddaughter had something for when she came home later at night.

You chatted with the old lady and helped her walk around the neighbourhood. You listened to her as she would tell you stories from her youth and sharing wisdom. Of course, you also answered her questions as she tried to find out more about you and your life.

"Poor little thing." Josephine cooed as you helped her sit down on her armchair. You perked your head up, puzzled. "My granddaughter lost her parents too after that unfortunate day, 14 years ago... I took care of her as if she was my own." The old lady went on, her voice warm and comforting. "Even though you went through all that, you managed to keep yourself a clean soul." She smiled at you as she place a hand over yours, keeping you in place, next to her side. "Never taint your heart, my dear, not even for money. I'm sure one day, God will answer to all your prayers." Her words warmed up your heart, almost bringing you to tears. You were glad to have met such a kind person.

"Thank you, Josephine. Hope he will take care of all of us." You muttered in return quietly, holding in big emotions.

After that day, you were called in regularily. You would go there almost everyday, always finishing by 4 in the afternoon, making it in time for taking care of your other clients back in the village.

One day, as you were getting ready to leave Josephine's house for the day, her granddaughter came earlier than usual.

"Hi, (Y/N)!" She greeted you. She walked in followed by a man with light brown hair in a gray suit. Before you could greet her back, she started talking to the man. "I will bring it right away, I didn't even realise he hid it in my bag!" She exclaimed rushing upstairs.

"Artists, always temperamental, always causing ruckus." The man said with a sigh, folding his arms in front of him. "I am deeply sorry to bother you about it, but he threw a tantrum over it not being in his studio anymore." The man pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't be there 24/7, I have to go and take care of the business part, make sure he sells and promotes the right charities."

You listened closely. Everything the man spoke about sonded so strange to you. 'Business' and 'charities' were words thrown in your favourite shows by rich people. You were curious to find more, but you were in no position to ask. You tended to Josephine until her granddaughter was free so you could bid her good night before leaving.

"Here you go." Josephine's granddaughter came back downstairs. She was holding on to a big toy-like charm that looked like a puffer fish. "Why'd he hide it in my bag?" She asked, her brows furrowed in annoyance.

"If I knew how his brain was wired, I'd break it open and rewire it properly." The man answered, exasperated. "I'm so grateful, you have no idea. He is starting to get worse, throwing tantrums over tantrums. The studio is always a mess and he never seems to eat properly. The man has access to ordering anything his heart desires, yet he acts as if it's a mystery to pick up the damn phone!" The man boomed, letting out his frustration. He took a sharp breath in and rubbed his eyes with his palm. "Again, I'm really sorry to dump all this on you, but I'm starting to get to my wit's end. It's like he needs a babysitter. Even this 'bodyguard' charade, it's just him acting out. Why does he need so much attention? Why is he getting worse?"

"I'm sorry, Thomas. I see that you care about him, it's okay to feel frustrated. You shouldn't feel bad. Maybe you should get him an actual babysitter." Josephine's granddaughter laughed as she said the last sentence, patting the man gently on the shoulder. "At least for the weekend, so you can finally rest."

"There's no person in this world capable to put up with his insufferable temper." The man named Thomas groaned.

You were growing a bit impatient, as it was starting to be a little over 4 o'clock and you were about to lose the train back. "Excuse me, miss-..." You started awkwardly, trying to sound polite.

"Oh, (Y/N)!" The young woman said your name, almost as if she forgot you were there, and smiled as she shook her head. "Oh, my god!" She clasped a hand on Thomas's shoulder excited, then turned back to look at you. "(Y/N), do you have experience with toddlers?" She asked, hopeful. Thomas looked at her confused. "(Y/N) takes care of my grandmother, she is amazing!" She explained.

"Are you sure you want her to still work for you? Don't send her my way or you might lose her after she spends one hour with him." The man pinched the bridge of his nose again, groaning. "He is capable to ruin everything when he puts his mind to it." He sighed.

You were a bit shocked, the man seemed to have issues with his father. You figured it must be his old father on the verge of dementia, causing a lot of trouble. You were experienced with such cases, especially with the ones that act out like todlers.

"I have worked with dementia patients before." You answered smiling, hoping to snatch another job. From the sound of it, you could make a lot of money if the job went well, they sounded rich. At least this Thomas fellow looked rich.

Josephine's granddaughter and Thomas remained frozen for a moment. The young woman started laughing, while Thomas huffed amused and shook his head.

"Sounds perfect. Thomas, would you like to give it a try?" She chuckled as she nudged the man.

"I didn't think this day would come. I mean, I knew it might happen, but not so soon." He said, defeated. "Are you free this weekend?"

*** Hi hello, leaving a little note. I will write this as a multiple part story. Not sure if it will get anyone's attention, but in case you made it this far, hope you enjoyed this. Thank you for giving this a chance and I will try my best to not disappoint.

I'm not sure if anyone is OOC, maybe Josephine, but hey, in my version, roles are a bit reversed and Josephine and the game's MC are normal people, while YOU, my MC, are special ☆

[pandoraimperatrix]

Beyond Love

SasuSaku | 3k w | Blank Period| Hurt/Comfort | Read on AO3

Beyond love This man comes to me Heartbreak did this He was made to believe That he should live without it All I know's what I see No change in this Visions born in the dreams Of a world left without it

She was the same. Painfully so. Gloriously so.

In their first stop, helping to build a well in a tiny village on the border of Land of Fire and Land of Rivers, she had befriended every single worker and their mothers. He had never eaten so well in his lonely travels as he did since she joined him.

While peasant wives and mothers avoided his scary figure – a far cry from the attention he used to receive when he was a teenager – they were always all too grateful to his charming companion. And after the good doctor fixed all sorts of health problems their children, husbands and elders may be suffering from; the village women were all too happy to spoil Sakura with delicious food since she didn’t take money.

As they sat there, under the shade of a tree sharing their meal, from his darkness he observed her. It was not for the first time, once upon a time a habit from childhood that he hated in himself, sprouted back to life as if the long winter of half a decade never happened.

Sakura, in soft greens and the loveliest of pinks, spring made flesh, even after two weeks on the road with him.

She caught his gaze, and for once, Sasuke did not avert his eyes, hoping that the heat on his face wasn’t so noticeable, and feeling quite human, quite inadequate.

Her smile so freely given, the warmth of her feelings so obvious. How did she do that? And why? After everything he had done to her… After everything he had put her through…

And how did she make it look so easy to keep moving forward, to just... just live?

His jealous heart ached, his cursed eyes lowered, because he knew, it didn’t matter how long he stared, that was a skill he would never master.

***

“I can’t love you, do you understand, Sakura?”

Her smile didn’t fade instantly, but her ramble died in midsentence suffocated by the soft ruffling of the trees surrounding them.

Sasuke stared down at her, cheeks paling, plump lower lip only giving the tiniest of quiver before she took a ragged breath, composing herself.

He had once heard that Tsunade hid her real face under a jutsu. Others judged her vain for that, Sasuke, on the other hand, understood the ingenuity behind it, especially now, that his own appearance reflected better the evil in his past, and he wondered… Was Sakura’s dull eyes and gash-like smile also artifice?

And if so… what was she hiding?

“There is someone else?” she finally answered with her own absurd question, her voice small, but firm.

Sasuke who, unlike her, had fought all his life to hide his burning emotions behind an stoic facade, lost his composure , what kind of laughable answer with an question was that?

“What?” He scoffed, his body moving on its own accord to face her, breaking into her personal space as if they were about to start exchanging blows “don’t be stupid.”

In that fleeting moment, anger and frustration bubbling under his skin, he couldn’t decide what was worse: did she understand the reason beneath his question? And if she did, didn’t she care? Was she mocking him? Or she simply didn’t understand, and her own question was genuine? And if she didn’t understand at all why was she with him? Why was she doing that to herself? Why was she letting him hurt her again?

She looked amused at his reaction, throwing him in deeper confusion.

What had this disastrous conversation had become?

He had meant well, he was just trying to warn her. Couldn’t she see it?

Someone else?

Ludicrous.

“Oh… I see,” she said simply and smiled again, this time reaching her eyes, that he kept staring at with his own perturbed frown and twitching insides. He had forgotten that since from when they were children, sometimes Sakura made him feel… uncomfortable. 

Sakura lowered her face, staring at her feet, Sasuke’s frown deepened holding back to what was about to come, what would have come if she made any sense. He felt a little sorry for calling her stupid, but it wasn’t in his nature to apologise (and Sakura was already fortunate enough to have been on in the receiving end of his voiced regret), and, on top of that, he was somewhat offended by her question.

Where the hell had that come from?

Did she really understand him so little?

“This is a mistake,” he finally blurted out rubbing his face with his hand and taking a vacillating step back.

“You invited me, Sasuke-kun,” now she sounded at least a little angry. With anger he could deal, he was not used to being on the receiving hand of hers, but still was something different from her latest mindboggling reaction and honestly insulting question.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” his answer came fast, too fast and filled with frustration. She didn’t understand, nobody did. The dobe got close, but still missed the mark and Sakura…

Sakura was biting her lip, staring at him with glossy green eyes, and it occurred to him that something broken could be so beautiful.

“Forget it,” he said and turned his back to her suddenly desperate to move, not daring to look back, half fearing, half expecting that, for once, she would pick herself between the two of them, terrified and hopeful that she would leave.

But she stayed.

And Sasuke found out that, thanks to that, could breathe easier.

***

Sakura was shivering, and even in clear distress, she conjured images of flowers in his head, a late flowering cherry tree shaking under the power of a summer rainstorm.

How could someone be so annoying even when they were asleep?

Not only she had taken her sweet time washing in the stream – he couldn’t understand the need since she still smelled like strawberries to him – and laid obnoxiously far from the bonfire he had lit.

At least she hadn’t bothered trying to keep the first watch like she sometimes would despite his refusals, and sometimes she would try to keep him company, babbling half the night away until sleep made her start bobbing head on his shoulder.

A moan escaped from her lips and she shivered again, Sasuke sighed and rose from where he was sitting, he fell to one knee, not quite sure of what to do. Should he wake her? Scold her for lying in the cold?

Sakura fussed in her sleep. How could she sleep so heavily knowing he was there? How could she trust him? She rolled to her back, arm arching around her head, threads of pink hair falling on her pink lips. Sasuke gulped and pulled his poncho over his head before covering her with it. She latched on it so fast his heart raced fearing being caught, but she remained deep in dreams, now contently wrapped, face pressed on the dusty knit, still warm from his body.

Sasuke stretched his lonely hand to her rosy cheek, but retreated before touching her, he stood up, and when back to his place by the fire.

***

“Sakura, are you done?”

“Just a sec, Sasuke-kun!”

He crossed his arms and took a deep breath, half-delighted, half-regretting it when his nostrils filled with her sweet strawberry scent still hanging to his poncho.

The cadence of her voice reached him first surrounded by male voice. Annoyed, Sasuke turned around. She was coming towards him, but walking half-turned backwards still trading pleasantries and advises with the young master, son of the local nobleman of the village they had stopped to aid, this time separately, Sasuke had helped fixing a mill while Sakura was being interviewed by scholars interested in her medical work and first hand account of the war.

He could have called her out again, he could have done many other things, but he let her walk directly into him.

Her body wasn’t exactly soft, not with the kind of build she naturally had or the kind of life they lead, and still… Guilt and pleasure spread from the place on his chest where her hands rested radiating to his entire body, like fire in dry woods.

“Oof, sorry, Sasuke-kun,” blushing prettily, like she did most things, she didn’t push away immediately, and Sasuke, beyond his best efforts, lowered his face just slightly, like a sunflower obliged to face the sun.

And then, he remembered the other man, moving slightly to send a warning look over Sakura’s shoulder.

***

“I should buy a poncho, too,” he didn’t answer, just continued sharpening his sword by the fire. “Where did you get yours?”

“A family friend.”

“Oh,” he waited for the next question, it was almost funny watching her struggle to ask him that could be a sensitive topic.

Once upon a time, Sasuke hated when people prodded in his business, he still didn’t care for it in the slightest. Twelve years old Sakura was always asking him the most annoying and useless things. He had no idea why his favourite colour mattered so much back then. And he regrettably could remember some instances in which her interrogation inadvertently touched memories from his past leading to spikes of anger. Since not only some memories hurt because they were sad, but there was those he tried to keep buried in some sacred place inside him, because they were good and somehow hurt even worse for being of a life that didn’t belong to him anymore.

“Can I meet them?”

“To buy a poncho?”

Her eyes glittered reflecting the fire as a smile curved those pink lips.

“It isn’t fair that I keep using yours.”

He found out that he didn't mind Sakura meeting the Neko-baa, but hated the idea of her getting her own poncho, because that meant his would stop smelling like too sweet strawberries.

“I don’t mind.”

And for a moment he didn’t let his guilt sour the warm feeling bubbling in his chest as he watched her face morph in surprise and then elation.

“That’s very kind of you, Sasuke-kun.”

***

He was in a bad mood.

Which, to be fair, wasn’t nothing new.

Sakura was ignoring him, well, as much as she could manage considering it was her and it was him.

Usually, ignoring him when Sasuke was in a bad mood was the best call. He even appreciated that, after a month traveling together, Sakura picked his cues and learned to just leave him alone until he initiated interaction again. Usually with some non-verbal behaviour, he would sit next to her by the fire or do something nice like mending her clothes.

After that time he told her he could never love her and she didn’t leave, he even took money for his work only so he could buy her dango, he felt ridiculous the whole time, but it was still worth it.

But this time ignoring him wouldn’t work, it wouldn't work because he wasn’t just in a general bad mood because of the weather, or because of pain in his arm, or because of a rude villager, not even his night terrors and flashbacks were the reasons, no, he was in a terrible mood, because of her.

They took a boat to the Hidden Mist, the idea was keep going east, Sakura was excited, couldn’t stop talking about how she didn’t know a thing about the Far East and how much research she could do and learn.

Sasuke just wanted to leave the Land of Lightening, people still remembered his wrongdoings there and, although he damn well deserved whatever way someone might to try to get revenge on him, Sasuke wasn’t alone anymore.

And Sakura had nothing to do with his sins.

It was as if he knew a storm was coming. He woke up queasy again, seasick, he heard Sakura chatting with a cabin boy the night before, and that had put him in even a fouler mood that only eased a little when she probably noticed his annoyance and followed him down to the cargo hold (where they were sleeping) and offered to help.

He tried to refuse her, still deeply irritated that one: his body was failing him in such an embarrassing manner; two: she was chatting about his weakness carelessly to complete strangers.

“Sasuke-kun, don’t be childish, seasickness is very common, you’re acting it’s like a horrible character flaw,” she said rolling her eyes and sitting beside him on a heavy wooden trunk.

“Fine.”

He expected her to do something about his stomach, it was where he felt the discomfort after all. Sasuke didn’t expect Sakura to get so close, and he couldn’t help but flinch when her hands approached his face, but she didn’t look offended, just smiled, always so understanding, and then, the rough pads of her fingers pressed against the bones close to his ear canal, Sasuke held his breath, suppressing the misguided urge to close his eyes and lean in.

Green chakra glowed softly making her eyes gleam in the penumbra, the ringing in his ears, that Sasuke didn’t even notice that was driving him crazy stopped, and the sickening feeling in his stomach eased first a little, and then all at once.

“Better?”

Sasuke breathed in slowly, under the salt, the fishy sea smell... strawberries.

His lone hand floated on its own accord, and he watched as his forever blood stained fingers dared to touch the precious threads of pink hair from her eyes.

“Thank you.”

The words had barely left his lips when, from the cockpit, shouts and battle sounds broke.

Pirates attacked, and for a brief golden moment everything seemed to be perfect as she fought alongside him.

It didn’t matter how broken he was, she was the best mednin in the world, surpassing Tsunade, there was little she didn’t have a cure for, and for what there was no fixing, she accepted him for what he was, didn’t her? Had she not proved it time and time again? She wasn’t like Naruto, trying so hard to force him to go back to some brief idealized past… No, since the beginning, she had always offered to meet him where he was, he had been the one to use the last scrape of decency to deny her.

But now…

Of course he didn’t deserve her, of course she deserve so much better than him, but as they moved side by side, it felt right, it felt good.

And then, she took a blow that was for him.

Her heart, the one she had given to him, unrequested, undesired, undeserved, stopped.

Sasuke stood there, his past and future, it was always the same. It would be always the same.

In his despair, the chidori cracked in his hand, but before it could reach its destiny the black threads spread from her forehead through her chest, like his cursed mark in the past.

Green eyes reflected the dying thunderbolt in his hand as Sasuke turned his back on her and finished the fight, freeing the ship from the pirates and providing the crew with safe journey.

***

“Sasuke-kun?”

He had seen her wasting her already depleted chakra reserves healing crew members and even some of the captured pirates after the battle, he had said nothing, but he hadn’t need to.

“Sasuke-kun?” She called again, and he hated it, he hated the concern in her voice, hated the part of him that still was somewhat afraid that this was somehow an illusion, that the sort of miracles she pulled didn’t truly happen, and if they did, they didn’t happen to him and to the people he cared about. She died in the cockpit just moments ago, he had seen it, he had caused it. “Wait!” He stopped his brisk walk when her hand reached his arm. “Are you hurt?”

Sasuke scoffed.

“Sasuke-kun, you are shaking…”

“You are going back to Konoha.”

“What? But we are going Far East-“

“No,” he turned to face her and grabbed her by the shoulder; he would shake some reason into her if he had to. “We’re not going anywhere, Sakura. You are going to Konoha.”

Sakura’s face morphed from worried to dignified anger as she absorbed his words.

“No.”

“No?” He, repeated, contempt dripping from his voice.

“No,” she stood her ground, unafraid.

Sasuke took his hand off her, clenching it. How could she still be so unreasonable?

“Sakura-“

“No, Sasuke-kun, listen to me, because I will say it as many times as I need until it sinks into this thick skull of yours,” she sucked a breath in and stared hard into his mismatched eyes, “I love you,” Sasuke opened his mouth, he couldn’t believe she was starting that again.

“No,” she rose a finger, “don’t you interrupt me, I’m talking, I love you. And this isn’t a curse, I won’t die tomorrow out of the blue, there is not tragedy coming towards us. Also, this isn’t some silly babbling from a stupid genin that doesn’t know better. I love you. It’s a fact. You can doubt all you might, you can tell me to leave, to go back home and never see you again. You can run far beyond east, go on, use your rinnegan, open a portal to the moon it still will be true there that I love you. You can’t stop it. No one can.”

He didn’t speak after that, what could he say?

Sakura healed his wounds in silence, but before leaving to the cockpit again, she added:

“You said you can’t love me. Whatever, Sasuke-kun. If you truly believed that I don’t think you would have invited me to come with you, or would be so worked up over what happened in the fight. I won’t pressure you into anything, but when you feel like it, you know you can talk to me.”

She was about to be out of reach when he asked in a small voice:

“Don’t you get exhausted?”

Sakura turned to him.

“Of what?”

“Me.”

She smiled and walked back to him. Sasuke just stared, suddenly feeling exposed and raw despite being her the one to had exposed her heart for him to see and do what he might. Sakura touched his face, and Sasuke’s lids trembled shut, his last defence gone.

“I love you,” she said as if it was the easiest, most simple thing in the world.

We really wanna know Beyond love All I know is what I see and I can't live without this Could you ever believe beyond love?

----------------------------

Happy birthday to the birthday boy (Sasuke) and to the birthday girl (ME!)!!

This fic came through an epiphany, I’ve always understood Sasuke, we share more than a birthday, you see, but Sakura, Sakura was always hard to figure out. I was always very angry with Sasuke, shad real tears, honest. But I did get him and why he did the things he did. I could never fit in my brain why Sakura kept loving him though and then… I don’t need to understand. People don’t love “because”, love is beyond reason. And I’ve decided that I’d try to apply that to myself a little, but it is okay if I don’t always succeed. I’ve been just like Sasuke all my life, since birth one could say, p’untended, but I should be like Sakura too, and love myself, my Sasuke-self, beyond reason, beyond the C-PTSD, autism, ADHD and all the other brain fuckery.

Oh, and Beyond Love of one of my favourite bands in the world, Beach House, helped a lot to give body to the idea of this fic. I recommend not only Depression Cherry that got a little famous thanks to TikTok but all the other albums too, I’m really partial to Devotion and Bloom.

If you liked the fic and read the oversharing leave a comment, it will make my (birth)day!

[wandabear]

EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY [CH 5] - WANDA MAXIMOFF X F!READER

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Summary:   Y/N proposes to Wanda and she says… no. That’s when things get complicated, too much.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x f!reader | Natasha Romanoff x oc ㅤㅤㅤ   

CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO  CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX - finale

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Warning:  Somewhat graphic MCU violence, death, ANGST and FLUFF. Mentions about abuse. As you know me: Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. This mcu style is my own, Natasha Romanoff will not die here. She deserves to be happy.

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Songs for you: Ivy Willow

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER FIVE

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“Thank you, auntie Y/N.” Morgan Stark said with the most adorable smile as she walked hand in hand with y/n.

Y/N took care of the kid that day and together they toured the Compound while Tony finished signing some papers and chatted with Steve, trying to keep things at peace.

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After eating together one of the most delicious cheeseburgers and fries -Morgan's favorites-, she walked with her to the entrance where Tony and Steve were waiting for them.

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“Aw. You're welcome, sweetie.” The inhuman smiled and leaned in to receive little Morgan's hug. “Thank you for keeping me company today. I couldn't have done it without you.”

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“I love you, auntie Y/N. See you later!” Morgan smiled and ran over to her dad, who helped the kid get into the car and fasten the seatbelt. Steve stepped forward to go inside the compound, it was going to rain soon.

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Y/N smiled at Tony. “That girl is getting bigger and smarter, Tony. She's soon going to take our jobs.”

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“What can I say? I was part of the creation of this masterpiece.” Stark joked and both laughed.

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Here they were, years later, Tony became one of the few people left in her life. All the grudges of the past had been left behind.

Y/N kept hands in the pockets of her coat, watching the trees moving slowly.  This time it wasn't Y/N who summoned the storm.

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“You okay?” Tony took off his glasses, he seemed quite worried.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Yeah.”  Y/N sighed and shrugged. “Just tired, there are too many problems on this planet and universe to deal with.”

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“Well, that is now YOUR problem, but… You should eat better, kid, I see you a little pale.” Tony patted her shoulder and smiled, but still looked a bit worried.  “I'll tell Pepper and she's going to scold you. She will send you a cook to follow you everywhere, reminding you to eat.”

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Y/N giggled tiredly and nodded slowly. “Take care, Tony. Take care of them, you deserve it.”

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“If you need something…” He tried.

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“I'll work it out with Steve, Yelena or Bruce. You rest.”

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All these years Y/N had been practicing her powers with Jules, Bruce also helped her to understand herself a bit more. Over time she learned to control it almost perfectly.

Y/N possessed the ability of atmokinesis, one of the most powerful abilities in existence, where one can control and manipulate the various forms and aspects of the weather itself.

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Thor used to say that he was happy with the news, now he could share something so beautiful with a warrior like her. Summoning the most powerful lightning they have ever seen.

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Jules possessed the ability of nature manipulation, another of the most important powers. Although she mostly had developed much more control over plants and some living beings. According to her, they used to whisper to her. Y/N smiled when she remembered that moment, in that same place a few years ago. She used to tease Jules saying she was crazy, because the brunette once said that a sparrow insulted her.

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“Y/N… I swear, that bird called me a ‘shameless slut’ and he then flew away!” 

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“Yeah, sure, I will definitely never believe that.”

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Together, they were invincible. They could make total chaos as well as something very beautiful for this planet. Y/N's idea was to protect this world that was left, while Jules... well, remained a prisoner of her suffering.

Y/N went back into the Compound, stopping to look at that mural in front of her, mural recognizing those who had fallen.

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NATASHA ROMANOFF WANDA MAXIMOFF JAMES BUCHANAN ‘BUCKY’ BARNES CLINT BARTONSAMUEL WILSON

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Y/N stood still looking at the names, thinking about everything that happened all this time. She covered her face with her hands, the stress that Y/N felt lately was overwhelming.

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“So, Stark stopped by to say hi?”  Yelena walked over, this time she wasn't wearing her Black Widow outfit. She always knew how to dress in style, maybe she was coming back from visiting Kate who lived in New York now.

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“He came to tell us that Avengers Tower was going to be sold.” Y/N smiled sadly. “And that if we needed something, we could always count on him. He’s going to retire to take care of Morgan and Pepper.”

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The blonde nodded. Those names made Y/N shed a tear that quickly dried up.

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“I miss her so much, you know?” Y/N swallowed hard and closed her eyes, trying to stay strong but it was so hard lately. Especially when the memories grew heavier in her heart. “She’s the love of my life, how come I'm still doing all this? Why am I still alive?”

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Y/N couldn't help but wept, feeling Yelena's arms surround her.

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“There are days where I don't know how to go on without Wanda.” The agent sobbed in anguish, she always tried to be positive and strong but she no longer knew how to keep going. Especially with some of the remaining Avengers spread across the world. “I- I just… I make myself some tea and I just start crying, and I cry until the tea gets cold, a-and then I have to make another one.”

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Yelena pursed her lips trying not to cry, but tears welled up in those green eyes. Both tried to be strong for each other.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ "Sometimes… I repeat to myself over and over again: what was the scent... what did her hair smell like? Because I remember it was raspberries but what if I forget? What if... I can't remember anymore?" Y/N smiled sadly. “I feel like I'm missing three pieces of my heart, and the only one that holds everything is you.”

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“I know, Y/N/N. I miss Natasha too.” The russian cooed, hugging her tightly. “It hurts me so much… Sometimes I talk to her, whistle to her... but she doesn't answer. I’ve loved her so much.”

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Now she was the one who broke down crying.

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“I’m sorry.” Y/N looked down to see how Yelena hid her face in that hug, and just kissed her forehead, both consoling each other in a big hug at that moment.

Yelena wasn’t the kind of person who shows her feelings easily. No. Fuck, she used to just growl and roll her eyes at her but all this time... all this pain, she could only show it with Y/N.

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“Do you think they're okay? Wherever they are.” Yelena sniffled.

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“I dunno, blondie.” Y/N sighed. “But I hope so.”

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That beautiful moment lasted for a while until Steve quickly led, with a rather worried and confused face.

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“Y/N, Yelena… You two need to see who's at the compound gate now.”

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And when they heard the whole story that Scott Lang had to tell them, they were even more confused and perhaps… deep down, hopeful.

The noise of breaking glass and shots was all that could be heard, besides desperate screams of the members of that gang.

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“It’s her! She’s after Javier!” One of the gang members yelled in Spanish and fired his machine gun into a dark corner of the street. A few seconds later, that same man was thrown into the air and hit the wall with such force that he died on impact.

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The female figure of a black-haired woman stepped out of the darkness, a proud smile and brown eyes filled with a desire for revenge.

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“Todos van a morir, pero ahora solo quiero a Javier. Entréguenmelo y podrán irse. [You all going to die, but right now I only want Javier. Give it to me, and you can go.]” The brunette ordered willing to let go, for now. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

None seemed to obey, in fact some of them laughed and looked at each other.

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“Good, your choice.”

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That woman raised her hands and killed several of those criminals, using vines to catch them, she took one and attracted one using him as a shield.

Jules smiled coquettishly then blew some spores into the man's face, like a poisonous kiss. The man's horrified look changed to a more relaxed one, the irises of his eyes turning green. “You want to protect me, and now… You’re going to kill all of your friends, then yourself.”

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Exactly as she said, the man fired at his own people and then shot himself. Jules sighed and walked to the second floor of that building, where another group of thugs fired at her. One by one, she took it upon herself to clear the path.

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“What do you want?! I didn’t do anything to you!” The leader of the gang asked, walking backwards. There was nothing left but to give up.

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“You’ve survived.” Jules said as she slowly walked towards him. “Half of the planet didn’t.”

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Even though it was her, that was no longer the same Julia from before. Those five years changed a lot in her mind and her heart.

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“They got Thanos… you get me.” Jules cocked her head, biting her lower lip playfully.

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Javier knelt down ready to beg for his life, even if his pride said otherwise.  “I'll give you what you want, but please, don't kill me.”

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“What I want? You can't give it to me.” Jules whispered venomously. Step by step, it was a death sentence. The vines and the ivy were moved like snakes, searching for their prey.

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“Por favor, güerita no me mates… Please, please don't kill me.”

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She just raised her hand and one of the vines wrapped around Javier's neck, lifting him into the air. He began to move her legs, desperate.

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“Julia, stop.”

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Her best friend's voice made Jules turn to look at the door, perhaps with all the noise of shots and screams she hadn't heard the sound of the storm approaching.

Y/N slowly entered that warehouse.

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“Oh, hey sis. Long time no see.”  Jules smiled casually, but didn't let the guy get away.  “Did you finally come to join the party?”

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“I came to save you.” Y/N swallowed, noticing how the vines moved around her as if they had a life of their own, even if Jules controlled them. “Let him go.”

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“No.” her response was blunt, it even made the vine tighten his neck more. “You... tell her... tell her what you've done.”

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 “Please, don’t do this. You’re… not a killer.” Javier could barely say.

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“Oh, look around you, I already am.”

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“Jules, stop.” Y/N begged.

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“Tell my friend what you did and I'll let you live.” Jules jaw clenched, making the vines tighten around the man's neck. He found it difficult to speak, he barely gasped like a fish out of water.

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“What are you saying? I can’t hear you-” She said with an adorable smile but ended up shouting: “SPEAK LOUDER!”

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“Julia, THAT'S ENOUGH!” Y/N took a step forward but Jules raised her hand, stopping her with the vines. Jules looked at her seriously, forcing Y/N to stay still and then turned to see the man again.

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“You took that little one, didn't you? A little girl in Morelos. You did these despicable things to her.”  She hissed angrily, her gaze locked with the man's, who was struggling to breathe. “A child, and not just one...”

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The man just closed his eyes and after a moment, nodded desperately hoping that she would let him go.

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“See, Y/N? This happens when you’re soft like we used to be. When justice forgets what it really means.” Jules felt a huge pain inside her, her hands trembled but she was determined to go for it.   “No matter how much you fight to be better and let go your past, to redeem yourself…”  She thought of Natasha. “…You will die snapped and a rapist son of a bitch will be left alive on this planet.”

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Y/N nodded, trying to reason with her. “You're right, he deserves to face justice.”

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“Justice?!” Jules laughed wryly.  “There’s no justice! Especially when the jury released him because he didn't penetrate one of his victims with his penis… Oh no! He did it with his fingers and tongue, and that to them meant: letting him go!” The brunette screamed, the vines squeezed him enough for him to start turning purple.

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“Justice. That's what that girl didn't have.” Jules took a shaky breath, those brown eyes no longer showed that warmth, patience and tenderness as before.  “But I'll give it to her. To all of them.”

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Without waiting any longer, Jules moved her hand and the vines broke the nasty guy's neck, letting the lifeless body fall to the ground.

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“One less, many to go.” Jules sighed looking at that man's body and then turned around willing to leave that place ignoring her friend.  “You shouldn't be here.”

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“Neither should you.” Y/N followed her.

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“I've got a job to do, you're making it more difficult.” Jules heard the police sirens in the distance, so she decided to go back and take the back exit of that warehouse.

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“Is that what you're calling this?” Y/N walked after her, leaving through the back door of the warehouse. Jules took it upon herself to remove some of the surveillance cameras with ivy before they could capture her. “Killing all these people isn't gonna bring Natasha back.”

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Y/N tried to take her arm.

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“They are not people! They are infections corroding this Earth.”  Jules turned, breaking free of her grasp.  “The little that remains of this world at least.”

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“You are not the one to decide that.”

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“Neither are you.” Jules snapped.

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“Natasha wouldn't want this.” Sadness was reflected in Y/N's eyes, who saw her friend as a poor shadow of what she used to be.

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“She's not here to decide, is she?”

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“But she could… if you come with me.” Y/N she released the best bait that she could to catch the biggest fish in the river. Hoping that was enough to get the brunette's attention.

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And she did it. Jules turned to look at her, this time in a very different way. This time, a small light of hope was born in those brown eyes or maybe it was the anger she felt if Y/N played with it.

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“Don’t do that. Don't play with it.”

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“We found something.” Y/N sighed as she moved closer to her. “A chance, maybe.”

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“That’s impossible.” Jules narrowed her eyes, not understanding.  “You just want to trick me to go back.”

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“No! I swear… There’s a possibility. Just one. But you have to make a decision now, because the police are coming and the quinjet is three fucking blocks away.”

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Now the concern was reflected in Jules face, there was no way to achieve what she said.  “You can't bring anyone back to life, not even I can go that far. Nature wouldn’t allow it.”

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“It is not about playing with nature.”  Y/N walked in a hurry escaping from the sirens.  “It's about going back… Do you love her enough to give it a try?”

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The raven-haired woman looked thoughtful. “Are you sure of that?”

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“Pretty sure it could work.” Y/N looked at who was her friend for so long, for a moment she believed that the sparkle in those eyes had returned.  “But we need you.”

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“Don’t.” Jules said barely, like a sigh.

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“Don't what?” She stopped, making Y/N turn to look at her. The neon signs reflected their faces, like the most beautiful work of art.

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“Please, don’t give me hope.” Jules pleaded.

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And for the first time, Y/N's serious look turned into a softer one.  “I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner.”

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They spent days trying to plan everything they had to do perfectly. Each of the stones they had to 'borrow' and then return. A time heist. Each of them had a plan, but that wasn't what mattered right now.

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“Tomorrow, we will be saving the ones we love the most.” Y/N took the beer and toasted against the brunette's, who was only watching through the big window.

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“Tomorrow.” Jules sighed, her heart skipped a beat at the thought. “Do you think they will understand?”

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“I think so… Yeah, I'm not going to be the one to tell Wanda that her favorite band split up two years ago.” Y/N said making her friend laugh again, missed that nice sound so much. “But fuck, I'm going to tell her that Britney won the damn lawsuit.”

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Y/N laughed and then brushed a few crumbs off her shirt, making the ring she was wearing as a pendant to bounce.

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“Still carrying that thing?” Jules smiled tenderly looking at the ring.

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Y/N looked at it got lost in memories. The ring with which she proposed to Wanda so long ago. “And I will forever.”

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She smiled at her friend, who understood perfectly. The raven-haired woman nodded slowly.

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“If I had married someone... it would definitely have been Nat. She would say ‘No, thank you!’, of course, but at least I would have tried.” Jules said with a broody smile. Natasha Romanoff left a hole in her heart, taken it away forever.

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“Wanda wanted us to get married when we got back from Wakanda.”

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“Maybe you guys can get it right this time. You know that Wanda loved you deeply, right?”

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“I know… I loved her so much, so much that part of me is no longer mine but hers.” She sighed. “And I'm going to keep this.” Y/N looked at that ring with sadness but also hope.  “Until I see her again, this is it, Jules. This is how we get them.”

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“I hope so. I don't know what I'll do otherwise.” Jules looked down, feeling the full weight of her actions.

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At that moment Yelena walked through the living room door, heading straight for Jules. Of course Yelena hadn't been there those days, she was trying to help Steve to convince Tony to help them.

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“Yelena, wait-” Y/N got up seeing the anger on the blonde's face and remembering that she hadn't had the courage to tell her that Jules was back.

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“No, let her do it.” Jules got up from her seat, clearing her throat uncomfortably. “I know you might hate me but-”

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Without further ado, Yelena hit the brunette's face making her face to turn around, Jules noticed blood dripping from her lip. And if that hadn't surprised her too much, after the punch the blonde came to hug her tightly.

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“I’m glad you’re here.” Yelena murmured staying in that embrace for a while. “We're family. I don't want to lose any more sisters... I missed the three of us.”

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And how not to do it? Ever since Y/N and Jules had their separate ways, Yelena always felt in between. With no big sister, feeling like a child with her parents divorced, she didn't know which of them to turn to.

Jules looked up at Y//N and just stroked Yelena's blonde hair slowly. They both looked at each other and nodded. They were all Yelena had left, and none of them had given her a thought.

“Tell me again, why did you bring her?” Tony asked again, narrowing his eyes at the brunette. “She could kill us in a flash.”

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Jules chuckled.  “Yeah, I'm not that fast, Stark.”

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“Isn't that what we need? We need people willing to give everything.” Y/N she sighed, running a hand over her face. It was the third time she'd answered that all damn day.

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“Steve…”

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Steve, who was there with his arms crossed, just stared at them seriously.

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“We all deserve a second chance. We can all regret what we have done, and then do better.” Steve nodded solemnly. If Jules was going to bring something good to that mission and she was going to keep someone from dying, then she was welcome.

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Jules arched an amused brow. “Yeah, I'm not sorry for what I did... I’m just here to help, that’s it.”

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“Shut up, Julia. You're not helping.” Y/N growled.

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Between twists and turns, everyone managed to resolve their differences before keep going with the plan. Each of them had to follow the 'time heist' plan and bring the gems.

And they all made it, making it back alive for the big test. Of course, Y/N kept saying how great it was to see the first S.H.I.E.L.D. base in 1970. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Now, Bruce was ready to snap and change everything. Around him were all of the avengers, who watched him as if in his hands kept the most precious treasure in the Universe. And it was. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you sure, Bruce?” Steve asked one more time. “I can do it too.”

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“No, I was made for this.” Bruce sighed deeply and after taking courage, he settled the gauntlet on his arm.

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Slowly, the power of the gauntlet was consuming him, making him scream in pain. They all walked away in surprise, but they couldn't interfere even if they wanted to.

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“Bruce, remember, everyone Thanos snapped away five years ago...” Y/N explained carefully, watching the gauntlet light up when the big guy put it on. “You're just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last five years.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Please.” Tony added.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Got it.” Bruce growled.

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One.

Two.

Three.

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Snap.

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Bruce knelt in pain and the way the power of the gauntlet burned his arm made everyone shocked.

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“Did it work, Bruce Banner?” Yelena asked curiously.

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Everyone looked at each other for a moment, their phones started ringing instantly and that brought a smile to everyone. Y/N took her phone and watched that something that she hadn’t seen for a long time, now was shown on the screen.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

'INCOMING CALL WANDA MAXIMOFF ...'

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled widely and answered the call.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wands?” ㅤㅤㅤㅤ But the call ended.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And they wish they had time to celebrate or answer; one of Thanos' ships stood behind the Compound. And the first thing he did was bombard the quinjets, taking away their chance to use them.

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Everyone managed to stay safe, while the team tried to fight Thanos hand to hand, others tried to take the gauntlet and escape with it so that the titan wouldn’t have it again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The powerful triad of the Avengers faced him, Thor, Tony and Steve. But he also faced Y/N, Jules, and the Hulk in an epic battle. They didn’t expect that attack, much less in such a treacherous way.

And although they thought that everything would end in the worst way, not just one but several portals opened on that battlefield.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Each of their friends passed through the portal, returning to their side, ready to once again face that enemy, together.

Y/N sighed and tried not to cry when she saw how Wanda ran towards her and melted into the strongest and most needed hug of their lives. Closed her eyes and let herself be carried away by her scent, giggling happily at the scent of Wanda’s hair.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Oh, raspberries.

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A small tear escaped from her eyes.

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“Strange told us.” Wanda cupped Y/N's face in her hands. She looked so… same and different. Y/N's face looked different, not much but small details that she noticed. “Five years, right?”

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“Yeah.” Y/N closed her eyes, getting lost in the feeling for a moment.

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“Five years, wow…h-how are you? Are you okay?” Wanda asked really worried.

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“Can we talk about that later?” Natasha arched an eyebrow, nodding as Thanos's army regrouped on the horizon.

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Y/N breathed deeply watching that terrifying landscape, but despite the fear, Wanda's hand taking hers made her smile. Of course they could against this. They had survived the worst, they could against everything.

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And both armies finally met. Y/N rose into the air and used her powers, making a hurricane to get rid of some enemies. This time there was no doubt using those powers, it was a perfect execution.

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“You are…” Wanda exclaimed in surprise. They both made an incredible team up now.

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“Total control, huh!” Y/N smirked and then rose up.  “You should see this!”

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Her eyes turned white for a moment, and the sky roared like never before. Several lightning bolts fell towards her and towards her enemies. Without stopping, they both fought to protect Peter Parker who stole the gauntlet, getting it as far away from Thanos as possible. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I already saw the boy, he's coming your way, Strange!” Natasha said through her earpiece and fired at one of the aliens, killing him.  But someone worse stood a few meters in front of her, showing that big spear.

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“Not this bitch again.” Natasha complained, seeing how Proxima smiled creepily.

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The black widow prepared herself for the attack, she was ready to face her when some huge vines opened up the earth and took Proxima, getting rid of her.

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“Hey.” Jules smiled at her and stoodnext to her, surprising the redhead. Then raised her hand, making some thorny vines to grab many aliens and completely destroy them.

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“You-” Nat opened her mouth but didn't know what to say, just smiled back.

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“Pretty badass, don't you think?” Jules nodded watching as the earth swallowed them.  “They will be a good fertilizer for the soil.”

ㅤㅤㅤ “That wasn't fair, I was about to finish her off.” Natasha teased, smirking.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Sucks to be you... But by the way: You’re my whole world, Romanoff. I want you to know that.” Without further ado, the brunette approached to kiss Natasha's lips, just a peck. “’kay, gotta go. Don’t die this time!”  

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The redhead just smiled and shook her head, running in the opposite direction.

And despite the losses that are always to be expected in a war, they did it well. Except for Carol, who was still recovering after she'd snapped. She was powerful, sure, but that was a very potent amount of energy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ The corridors of the Avengers Compound were full of people coming and going. The medical room was being occupied by everyone who was badly injured, Dr. Cho was crowded but thanked the civilian medical staff who offered to help them.

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Y/N kept her arms crossed, watching and making sure everyone was okay. Her tired eyes showed how she felt, beside being in pain. Several cuts and bruises in her face and body showed it.

She turned on her heels to leave for a moment, nodding to Steve who was chatting with Tony, Maria Hill and Nick Fury about everything that had happened.

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Now everyone was back and despite the fact that it was a great joy, the world was once again in chaos.

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“Agent Y/L/N.” Nick turned around so she could shake hands with her.  “Here they have told me the great job you have done trying to keep us standing.”

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“Thank you, sir. I only did what I have been taught in S.H.I.E.L.D.” Y/N smiled and nodded kindly.

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“I taught you well then.” Maria Hill said under her breath and they both laughed. Y/N patted the Maria's shoulder and kept walking, looking for that special someone.

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She searched the living area, the lounge, and the medical wing but couldn't find Wanda anywhere.

Not until she saw how a brown haired lady escaping from her, walking quickly towards the main entrance hall.

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“Wanda.” Y/N called out to her loud enough to make her stop.

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Wanda turned around slowly, she looked like she had been crying, because her eyes were a bit puffy and red. She looked quite nervous, looking towards the door as if she wanted to get out.

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“Why are you avoiding me?” That sounded sadder than she expected. You could tell the pain in Y/N's voice, and the obvious confusion.

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“No, why do you say that?”

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“I’m not stupid.” Y/N chuckled sadly.  “I haven't seen you since we were separated in the Med wing. I've been looking for you for a long time.”

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“Yeah… I needed some air.”

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Y/N approached her, both watched the outskirts of the compound with longing. “Are you okay?”

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“Five years, right?” Wanda swallowed, unable to look at her. Couldn't or she would break. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed. “Yeah.”

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“I think… I think I'm not ready for this.” The brunette looked down, playing with her rings.

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Y/N cocked her head to see her. “Ready for what?”

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“To do this, Y/N.”

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“Wow, no ‘detka’ this time.” Y/N gave a sad and ironic giggle. She didn't understand what the hell was happening now. “I don't understand.”

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“Y/N, it's been five years.”

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“Yeah, five fucking years go by and the first thing you do is walk away and ignore me.” Y/N she said a bit annoyed and hurt. “Would you please tell me why?”

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“Because I'm not ready to know how you moved on!” Wanda finally snapped. “I'm not ready to…” Wanda cleared her throat, trying to be strong and not cry but it was so hard. “I'm not ready to see how you've moved on from me or met someone else.”

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Y/N frowned and thought about stopping her, but she had every right to express her feelings. She wanted to know how Wanda felt.

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“While for you it was five years, for me it was just... minutes.” The sokovian began pacing back and forth, finally letting go of everything she kept inside. “And I come back and I see you... so different and at the same time the same. Don't get me wrong, you look as beautiful as ever but I feel like... I've missed so much.”

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"You have… you have a scar there, on your eyebrow, and I- I don't know how you got it! And and I feel so… I left you." Wanda began to cry, and although Y/N wanted to hug her, she only reached out her hand to take Wanda's and gently pull her.

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“How do you think it feels to know that? I've abandoned you for years. God!”  Wanda approached to surround her in a hug, hiding her face in Y/N's chest.  “The things you've experienced and I wasn't there. You were alone.”

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“I wasn’t alone.” It was the first thing Y/N said as she stroked her back.

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“That's why... Maybe you've met someone.” Wanda looked up and tried to get away from her. “I'm not ready to know that you don't love me anymore.”

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“I wasn't alone, I had my friends.” Y / N smiled tenderly and gently caressed Wanda's cheek. “Wanda... I haven't stopped thinking about you, I never stopped doing it.”

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She took her beloved's chin to look into those green eyes. A heart that found its other side again, finally, their souls were entwined once more.

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“I love you. I have loved you these five years... where I didn’t stop thinking about you, loving you, needing you.” Y/N she whimpered and wiped away the tears that began to fall. “I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. You don't know how horrible it was to live without you, you don't know how difficult it is. Cause it wasn't 'living'. You have no idea how gray the world is without you.”

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Tears began to escape from Wanda's eyes and she didn't stop them. They both needed this, they needed to heal.

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“Please, don't walk away.” Y/N begged, feeling Wanda cradle her face in her hands. “I only know that I survived because I had to, because I couldn't leave them alone... because I don't want to be without you anymore. I just can’t. I can’t do it.”

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The sokovian hugged her tightly, allowing them both to release into a healing cry. Feeling the warmth of the other's body, all the pain could finally be left behind.

All those sad dates, all those lonely birthdays, all those cold nights.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you, Wanda.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you so much, detka. I'm so sorry...” She put her forehead against Y/N's, getting lost in that beautiful feeling. “We won't be apart again. Promise we won't.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Nothing will separate us again, my love.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules lowered her gaze and hurried her step in that hallway, trying to get out of that place as soon as possible. Her heart was heavy but she had to do the right thing.

At least this time.

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She was about to walk out of the Compound when a figure crossed in front of her, so fast. There was no doubt that this woman was one of the best spies in the world.

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“Aw! Not even a hug? I see you're not a fan of goodbyes.” Natasha watched her out of the corner of her eye, crossing her arms.

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Jules swallowed, this was what she least wanted.

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“Everyone is there with their loved ones but you… you’re running away without even saying goodbye to me.” Natasha stood idly by, quite hurt.  Although the first thing she did was make sure Yelena was safe, Natasha had not forgotten Jules. “Running away like a quiet and scared mouse.”

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“I’m not a scared mouse.” Jules narrowed her eyes. Those words made Natasha raise an eyebrow, Jules would never have spoken like that.

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“I don't even deserve that? I understand that five years have passed for you, you must… you must have formed another more important bond or whatever…. Or maybe you just stopped loving me, but I am not even worthy of a goodbye?” The redhead scoffed.

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“Nat-” Jules tried.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I would like an explanation, because the last thing I remember is that we were... in love.” She wasn't going to deny that it hurt her deeply. “I understand. I wasn't very direct with that, I admit it... besides that a lot of time has passed and we didn't get to make it official, but that didn't mean I didn’t loved you! I did! I DO!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Nat…” Jules came over, trying to calm me down. She just cradled Nat's face in those soft hands. “It's not that.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules sighed deeply, she didn't have time to explain.

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“I love you, more than my own life.” The raven-haired girl placed her forehead against hers.  “I would give everything for you, I gave everything for you to be here.”

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“Then tell me what's going on...” Natasha pleaded in a whisper, those beautiful eyes sparkling. This was one of the few times that she could see Nat being herself, opening her heart.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules leaned in and kissed her lips, losing herself in them. Didn’t care more than to relive that feeling, that warmth. Nat was alive, she was next to her. As soon as they parted from the kiss, the inhuman hugged Natasha tightly.

Her biggest fear was losing her again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I just didn't want you to see it…” Jules swallowed. “I didn't want them to do it in front of you.”

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Natasha looked at her with confusion and concern. “Do what? Who?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I did some really fucked up things this time where you weren't, Nat... I- I don't expect you to understand me, I just... maybe one day I can explain. They will tell you many things about me, most of them are true... others not so much. And I’m sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that time, General Ross entered with a group of US marshalls and surrounded them. Of course they left Natasha aside, they only came to handcuff Jules who didn't object. Her gaze stayed on Nat's. Sure they had technology strong enough to weaken her, but Jules wasn't going to run away. Not this time.

In fact, it was obvious that she knew perfectly well that this would happen, because Jules never resisted or tried to escape.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Ross, what are you doing?” Natasha asked but one of the Marshalls pushed her back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“My job, Ms. Romanoff. Just my job.” Ross nodded and they walked carrying Jules, although the arrival of the others Avengers made them stop.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s going on here?” Steve frowned. “Ross, we can't go through this now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that moment Y/N arrived, pushing whoever had to to face Ross.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can't do that, she's an avenger.” Y/N tried to intercede adn take her friend, but was stopped by the Marshalls. “Take your hands off me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia Hale, you're under arrest for mass murder in several countries including the United States of America, eco-terrorism, mass property damage, conspiracy, torture, assault, kidnapping… You have the right… to not much at all after that, to be fair.” He sneered. “Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules glanced sideways at Ross, who seemed quite pleased.  “They were bad people.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Ross… She saved half of the universe with us.” Tony stepped forward, ready to intercede too. “There's still fresh blood on her face, look at her! She just saved the world with all of us! Let her go… for now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know, Stark, but it's not up to me. It will depend on U.S. Goverment.”  General Ross started walking towards the entrance, where the SUV's were ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay, I knew this would happen. We made a deal.” Jules looked back, seeing Y/N but was pushed forward.

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Y/N frowned.  “A deal?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They let me help you if I agreed to go with them, for good.”

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“Where are you going to take her?” Wanda asked, feeling the same indignation as her beloved. She hated seeing her like that.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“The Raft, until it's time for her to have a fair trial at the Capitol.” Ross nodded and the Marshalls loaded Jules into the SUV.  “It's not up to me to give her a pardon, it's up to them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't worry, I have a cousin who is a very good lawyer!” The huge Bruce smiled and held up his phone, which made her smile.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone was quite upset and outraged, Tony was talking to Pepper to find a good 'lawyer' to help them with this, besides calling the necessary contacts he had at the Capitol. Wanda took Y/N's hand, who stood watching her friend being taken away and couldn't do anything.

Even if she wanted to, she couldn't make it worse.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But the one who seemed most devastated was Natasha, who watched everything without knowing what to say. She had no idea what was happening, the redhead just went to the car’s door to see her one last time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” Jules moved her lips, watching Natasha, before the truck moved away from the place. Leaving the redhead more confused than ever.

“So…” Wanda murmured entering the room, looking around. Everything felt so new. Y/N invited Wanda to sleep with her in her room.  “It was hell.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah.” Y/N sighed as she slowly removed her suit, the wounds making her hiss. “The first year we were together, Yelena kept us here. We couldn't leave her alone, we had all lost something.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The sokovian sat on the bed, watching as Y/N changed. Her gaze fell on the new scars on Y/N’s body, thinking about everything Y/N went through, without her. She couldn't protect her. Maybe if she was there, those wounds wouldn't have happened.

After taking a nice shower, they both lay down on the bed so they could snuggle together.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I started going to some meetings, you know which ones. About loss.” Y/N took some of her big shirts and handed one to her girlfriend, putting one on as well.  “It didn't help me much but it kept me standing, enough to keep me going for a while longer.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda hugged the side of her body, caressing her belly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“But not Jules. She said that wasn't helping her, then she started to feel… angry.” Y/N was somewhat thoughtful.  “As she learned more about her powers, Jules began to feel everything even more. She has a great connection with nature and that… that made her take a different path.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned and swallowed.  “I tried to make her stay with us but we couldn't. She didn't want to be here, brought back too many memories... About Nat and that, and we couldn't force her.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We lost contact for a few months until... we started receiving some weird cases. They were all bad people, that person was targeting criminals, murderers, cartel people, hunters.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so sorry, detka. Really.” Wanda whispered.  She felt so helpless and angry. Thanos took everything from her. “I'm so sorry about that. I'm sorry I left you alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay now.” She smiled at Wanda, leaving a small kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes feeling that perfume once more. Yes, everything was back to normal.  “I’m so happy you’re here, that's all that matters now.”

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“Do you want to sleep?” Wanda asked as she gently caressed her beloved's face, removing some strands of hair.

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“I'm exhausted, I would sleep for weeks, but I don't want to stop looking at you.” Y/N muttered, her voice slightly scratchy. Her body ached too much, feeling a stabbing pain in muscles that she didn't even know existed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda smiled tenderly, kissing her chin.  “I promise to be here in the morning.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pinky promise?” She brought her pinky so they could intertwine.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pinky promise, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They both laughed and snuggled again when Y/N turned off the lights on the nightstand. They were silent for a moment, sharing only the beat of their hearts, until Wanda spoke:

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “How did you get this one?” The Sokovian traced her fingers over one of the scars on Y/N's stomach, slowly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I stumbled across a turtle.” Y/N bit her lip trying not to laugh, but Wanda just laughed and patted her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, you dork. Tell me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I was bitten by a beaver.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N!” Wanda complained and Y/N burst out laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wanda?” Y/N bit her lower lip.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Mhm?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Taylor Swift released two albums in a single year… and they are very cottage core.” Y/N couldn't help but say it, knowing that it was one of her beloved's favorites.

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“Oh God. How good is to be back!” Wanda chuckled amusedly, leaning in to look at her.  “Which is your favorite?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N bit her lower lip, forgetting her tiredness for a moment and took one of her headphones from the nightstand, she kept one and gave one to Wanda.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Friday? Please, could you play 'Willow'?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

‘Of course, Ms. Y/L/N.’

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

 “This one is for you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

'Willow' started to play, making them both smile as they listened to the song.

Tears fell down Wanda's cheeks upon hearing such beautiful words, tears that Y/N tenderly wiped away.

They spent some time looking into each other's eyes, listening some songs and exchanging smiles until sleep came over them.

✨✨ Yeah, I was thinking about the finale... until @imnotasuperhero wanted a bit more. ✨✨ Don't hate me, hate her, poking the bear is never the answer. I'll bite.🐻 (kidding, i don't bite... yet.) here goes some amazing and lovely people tags   ✨  : @wandsmxmff​,  lonewalker17,  tsmeanobody,  dark-hunter16,  lattayhottay16,  natashaswifeu,  silverockmusic,  kacka84,  emeraldevan! @sunsol-22 @dparker0 @imnotasuperhero @pawiie

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[penultimate-step]

Oshi no Ko 143 Reaction

This was a fun chapter. Ruby getting aggressive finally forcing Aqua to stop ignoring the problems in their relationship that have been simmering for 20 chaps now and actually have a conversation that puts it all out in the open. They're mostly saying stuff I predicted in advance, but some of it took me by surprise.

One bit that made me stand up and !!! was this page:

I thought I was doing something interesting when I compared Ruby's feelings towards Gorou to Aqua's feelings about Ai in my last two analyses but she just came out and said it directly on page, haha. I feel pretty validated.

I still stand behind most of what I wrote last week after this chapter. Ruby is desperately trying to make this a romance, but her best pitch is "I care about you in the same way we cared about idols in our past lives. Parasocially and without regard for the actual person, because I need to put somebody on an idealized pedestal or else I'll kill myself. This is what romance is, right?" Girl with so so so many issues, I love her.

The one thing that did really take me by surprise was the bit where she listed off Aqua's flaws as a person. In the past I assumed that Ruby was intentionally ignoring these flaws and making up a version of Aqua that didn't exist in her head. The way in her mind he's drawn like a romance hero and how she makes excuses for all the things she took issue with before lead me to believe she was intentionally distancing "Gorou, her idol" from "Aqua, the person, her brother" in her head. I'm not sure how to square this knowledge with the way she is (textually, now!) putting him on a pedestal. If I had to guess, I would think she actually is aware of who Aqua is as a person - she was friends with him as Gorou before and siblings for 18 years, she should know him better than anybody - but is intentionally separating this knowledge from the figure she is idolizing, because she needs to keep ahold of something for her mental stability.

I'm reminded of an analysis post of OnK ep 1 I read on tumblr almost a year ago, I forget who posted it so I can't properly credit it but it's not my own thoughts. (if anybody else remembers it please let me know so I can link it!) They contrasted Gorou's parasocial fan relationship with Ai to Ryosuke, the stalker who killed him: both put were fans of Ai, the Idol, but when confronted with the reality that she was more than an idol, that she had relationships and would have children, Gorou decided that the health and happiness of Ai the person was more important than his image of Ai the Idol, and did his best as a doctor to help her, while Ryosuke's reaction to having his image of the Idol shattered was to try and destroy Ai the person. The analysis put forth the idea that this was contrasting healthy vs unhealthy methods of being a fan - that there's nothing wrong with being a fan of someone, necessarily, but you have to keep in mind that you aren't entitled to anything about them, and there's always a real person underneath the performance.

I didn't fully agree with it - in my post about how the series portrays different kinds of love I talked about how it came down very harshly on dishonest and idolizing love - but I did think it was very interesting (obviously as I still remember it almost a year later). Anyway Ruby's approach to Aqua this chapter made me think of that a lot. She makes a big deal out of how Aqua is her idol, their relationship is idol/fan, and she can ignore all his flaws - but at the same time she points out that she does actually know what those flaws are. It puts her in something of a strange position. What would she do if her image of The Doctor, Her Idol, no longer existed, and she was left with just Aqua? Would she care for the person, or be mad at losing the illusion? According to this chapter she fits into neither of those, she chooses to pretend that the illusion still exists even while staring directly at the reality. Ruby seems aware that she is essentially using the idea of the doctor as a coping mechanism, but doesn't want to admit that this desire is directly in tension with the idea about caring about Aqua as a person, romantically or otherwise.

As for Aqua, it's great that he's finally being a little honest with his emotions and feelings after so long, to the one person who is really able to understand the context.

However, I think he's still holding a lot back, especially in the latter half of the chapter, because there are things he doesn't feel that he can say to Ruby, specifically about their relationship. He seems hesitant to directly tell Ruby that he can't be her lover or her idol, he can only be himself - even when he tries to tell her that he can't be the person he was she just brushes it off - and I think with how Ruby's mental health is holding on by a thread he is unwilling to do anything to jeopardize it, even if it means accepting the spot on her pedestal.

My read of the relationship between Gorou and Sarina 22 years ago was that they were genuine friends at the time. Regardless of difference in age and position they were both socially isolated people who found one person they felt they could be honest and open with. This makes their current relationship even sadder - Ruby has twisted the memory of their old friendship into dreams of romance and idolatry to fuel the desire to live one more day. Aqua, who in his last life would have been willing to do almost anything to get her to keep living, is forced to cut away his own relationship to her, both last life friend and current life brother, because being dishonest - being an idol - is the only way he can see to keep her alive and healthy. Both have already cut away most of their other bonds for the sake of the revenge plan, and now they can't even be fully honest with each other. Very tragic stuff.

All in all I really really liked this chapter. The interactions between Ruby and Aqua has always been multiple layers of relationships and mindsets existing on top of one another, and that just makes it super interesting for me. I love it whenever that leads to character tension. They've been friends and siblings and idols and all of that has to coexist, its a very unique kind of character writing that Oshi no Ko does well and I don't see very often and makes me care for the series a lot. I think I have a much more positive view of this arc than most of the fandom because the trainwreck of their relationship is one of the series highlights to me, so chapters like this, where exactly how bad their mindsets have gotten are placed as the main focus, are some of my favorite story beats.

I know there's a lot of negativity about this chap but I'm having a good time over here in my corner. Not sure if it's because I've been letting my thoughts about the series out in posts a lot more recently or because I liked this specific chapter a lot but this is definitely most I've been invested in the series for a while now. I think I was letting the Discourse kind of sour things for me and now I have mentally exorcised it from my mind.

[monowritestoomuch]

This is Going To Get Us Burned For Being Witches, Isn’t It?

Chapter 1: The World Turned Upside Down

Notes: *Tries to make it historically accurate* My google searches are absurd, guys. I don’t know how people in the 1700’s spoke, leave me alone please, I’m just a little guy! There were contradicting sources on what color Hamilton’s eyes were. I tried to find ppl from Hamilton’s actual life, friends from Kings College and such. 

I don’t know whether I want to change the year and have a different plot or something else. Because I have zero ideas on where to place Olympus. I am open to suggestions at any time though! Feel free to do so!

This week was hectic for me! And next week is going to be even more hectic for me! Expect a chapter in the next two weeks. Happy Yom Kippur!

So. . .you may be wondering how I got to camp in the first place? It’s not really–heroic? It’s not heroic, okay! I'm fourteen for gods’ sake! Leave me be!

I wasn’t born in New York, hell, I wasn’t born on the mainland. I wasn't really born at all, but I’ll explain that later. I was born in the year of seventeen-fifty-seven and raised in Charleston on a British owned Island called Nevis. 

According to my–to my mother, she had found me in her house, in a basket on her bed, with a note. She never–she never told me what the note said, but she took me in with no questions. She named me Alexander, because she knew I would be great. I was raised with a brother, James Jr., and my father. . .James Hamilton. We didn’t exactly–we didn’t get along.

I was raised alongside my brother. . .and with my father. For ten years. That was–until he left, something about bigamy, and–other stuff I’d rather not mention for at least a little while. 

When I was ten, my mother and I got sick, sick with yellow fever. I got sick first and I gave it to her. We would lay in that bed for hours on end, days on end. That’s when he left, too much of a bother to deal with us. With the limited medicine, it helped me, it helped her. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t–it wasn’t enough. I got better, but she didn’t. 

Within the next year, when I was eleven, she passed from yellow fever. 

We were sent to live with our cousin, Peter Lytton. My brother blamed me, he blamed me for months. While I was with my cousin, I worked. I needed to make myself into something, someone. I couldn’t die there, on that island. I couldn’t let my mother down.

A few months later, I was working as a clerk, and when I came home–he was hanging. I tried to get help, I ran until my lungs were sore and my head spun, screaming for help, but it was no use. Peter Lytton was dead. 

My brother looked at me with such remorse when he got back from his own job. He looked at me with blatant disgust. I won’t say it didn’t hurt. Even now, as I write this, I think he blamed me. 

Not long after that, he left. He left to go pursue an education.

I worked a whole year more at my clerk job, saving as much money as I could. Skipping meals, and working extra hours. It was grueling, but it was worth it.

Then the hurricane came when I was fourteen, and destroyed my home. I was devastated, but I was too stubborn to give in, to give up. I wrote an article on it, and got it published in the newspaper. I didn’t know it at the time, but it touched the hearts of the people of the island, so much so that they pooled money to send me to the mainland, to New York, to pursue an education. 

I didn’t know how much they cared, but cared, they did. They saw my writing, and they loved it. They wished for me to get an education. I would thank them all individually over and over if I could. 

Less than a week later, I was on a ship to the mainland, to New York. I was ready to pursue a new life, even though I was leaving everything behind. 

But I was naive, so very naive back then. 

I had landed in Boston and made my way to New York City. Boston was large, with protests in the streets and newspapers of scandal about and around. New York was smaller, albeit not quieter at all whatsoever, but a little less. . .mad? Unstable? Unhinged? Certainly, unhinged summarized Boston. 

New York City had pubs and lodges all around, with brick and dirt roads. It was the place to be. I was in awe. . .when I bumped into a fellow running from the opposite direction, who ended up falling far backwards on his hind. 

“Dear me, good sir, are you alright?!” I asked, rushing forward, and holding out a hand to help him up. The man firmly grabbed my hand, standing up and letting go of my hand to brush himself off. 

He wore a tan waistcoat over a white collared shirt, with larger sleeves and darker brown breeches. He wore a dark tan coat that went down to the backs of his thighs, with narrow, buttoned wrists. An ivory cravat was fastened around his neck, with stocking’s underneath his breeches. He wiped off his square-toed buckle-fastened shoes off the bricks, a warm brown tricorn hat lying upon his head. His brown hair was fastened with a ribbon into a low ponytail. His warm brown eyes contrasting to his pale skin.

“I’m–I’m alright,” the man reassured, meeting my own bright blue gaze. “Robert Troup,” he introduced, holding out his hand to shake. “But most simply call me Robert or Dick.”

I held out my hand to his and shook it firmly. “Alexander Hamilton,” I paused. I hadn’t really had many interactions with people my age, which is what the man seemed to be. “–but you may call me Alex,” I finished, smiling in a nervously warm manner. 

The man’s expression changed, eyes widening when I mentioned my name, which was strange, but I elected to ignore it in favor of shaking his hand. He seemed like an alright fellow, and perhaps he would be my first friend. 

That, ladies and gentlemen, is called naivety. This will be understood once you read far later into this book, which I might add, is most likely very long. But I wouldn’t know yet, I’m only on page four. 

But regardless, the fellow was nervous, but firm and standing tall. “New to the area?” he asked.

I chuckled. “How could you tell?” 

“You’ve got a spark in your eye,” he responded, scratching the back of his neck. “Like you hold the world’s hopes in your eyes.”

“I was always told the eyes were the windows to the soul,” I attempted to joke, catching a small chuckling smile from Robert. 

“Still trying to find a place to stay?” he asked me. 

“I am–I don’t even know where to begin to look for work or lodging–” I admitted, grinning sheepishly.

“You can come stay with me–and with my family, in Long Island,” he interrupted, a nervous smile on his face. 

I couldn’t notice at the time, but he was clearly trying to get me to ignore another part of the story he was telling. 

“Would I be so grateful as to take the company of your family and yourself?” I repeated rapidly. “I would be overjoyed!”

“Wonderful!” Robert exclaimed, adjusting his coat. “I rode a wagon here, for some business related to my father, as his emissary. I am heading home tomorrow, if you would care to join me?” he asked. 

His words were smooth and calculated, but nervous. 

“Then we better make haste,” I responded, smiling cheekily. 

The next day wasn’t much different to the day prior, much travel and much more conversing though. 

Robert was an interesting man, although he was my age, he was working for his father’s business. He was born in Elizabethtown, New Jersey, but moved up to New York for his father’s business as a child. He had been studying finance and law for many years alongside his brothers.

He asked howI spent my childhood. I told him how I wrote essays after the hurricane, studied finance, law, French and other such subjects. I told him of how intrigued I was in the sights of knowledge, which gave him a puzzled expression for a single moment. 

I didn’t tell him of my mother. He needn't learn of her demise. 

We had reached Long Island by nightfall, and Robert had mentioned a farm hostel close enough to us that we could lay there to rest for the night. In the past few hours of the afternoon, he had been antsy and anxious, no matter how much he attempted to dissuade the feelings or hide it entirely. 

He kept his eyes on the road, checking behind him every so often, like he felt eyes over his shoulders. 

We were conversing over a minor topic, a topic I can’t even recall now, over the roar of something utterly terrifying.

Fear lined Robert’s moonlit features, his eyes fearful as he hurried the wagon along at a faster pace. I wanted to ask what was going on, but it was clear that Robert didn’t wish to speak at the moment.

Then he brought the wagon to an abrupt stop, pulling at the horse’s reins to stop it, grabbing his bag and my own, yanking me out of the front of the wagon. 

“Run to the barn,” he told me, pushing my bag into my chest. “The–the people there will help you. I’ll try and hold it off–”

“Hold what off?” I asked, my heart racing, bag clutched against my chest. 

He pushed me forward, in the direction of the old, wooden barn. “Just. Run.” He stressed, pulling out a shotgun from the back of the wagon and cocking it. 

His tone didn’t leave any chance for disagreement, so I bolted in the direction of the barn, as fast as my legs, and lungs could take me. That was until I heard the roar again, and the sounds of gunshots, and screams.

I wrestled with the thought of going back, as I was so close to the barn. I could follow Robert’s instructions and go to the barn, or I could run back and help. Another roar, scream, and gunshot later, I had made my decision.

The roars were louder as I approached, and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There was a bull-man. You read that correctly. Bull-man. It had the head of a bull, but the furry body of a man, with no pants on. A monster, truly. A monster with no decency, and Robert seemed to be fighting it.

I had to blink a few times to attempt to see what Robert was doing. He didn’t look quite human either. 

I felt as if I was hallucinating. He had hooves for feet.

He was holding a falchion sword in one hand, a shotgun strapped to his back, a gunpowder scent exuding from it.

He lunged at the beast, twisting and turning to avoid its giant, furry hands. 

I ran to the wagon, not far from where the fight was taking place. I rummaged through the bags, trying to find something to fight with. I found a sword, similar to the one that Robert held. I clutched it, before running back into the fray of the fight. 

I ran up behind the beast, Robert trying to fight it from the front and avoid its thrashing blows. It was a split second until he had noticed me, but a moment too late to caution me to halt in my actions. 

I jumped as high as I could, stabbing the beast in the upper back, before being smacked by a giant, furry hand and being knocked several dozen feet in one direction, bashing into the bottom of a tree. 

My back ached and my head spun, but the beast was turning to dust in my dwindling vision. I heard Robert’s distant cries and pleas for help, before I succumbed to the darkness of sullied sleep.

Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1

Taglist: @emdabitchass @zariahthewitch @elixs-mythology-corner @perseus-oh-my-perseus 

@ducktamer415 @skrunkly-soaked-rat @hammyham-o-o 

@gay11aliens @sleeplessfluid @frayna-of-the-hollow @poppitron360

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

[viilpstick]

"This year, mark my words, neither of you will dare forget about Claire's birthday again," Vil warned Ace and Deuce, still fuming over their oversight from last year. Despite Vil not knowing Claire before her birthday last year, he found the idea of her friends forgetting it outrageous.

"We didn't knew! She never told us- She didn't even told Grim!" Ace attempted to argue with Vil, but his efforts were met with nothing but a darkened glare.

"I do not care what your excuse is." He sighed.

Vil turned his gaze to the window, his mind consumed with thoughts of Claire. He wanted, even prayed, that tomorrow would be a day solely dedicated to her happiness. With a sense of certain despair lingering in his heart, he hoped he could make her enjoy celebrating her birthday for at least this once.

"So, let me get this straight," Deuce began. "We have to keep her occupied elsewhere for as long as possible, so you can set up the decorations with Rook, Cater, Riddle, and the others for her surprise birthday party?"

"Exactly. But tomorrow, make sure to still wish her a happy birthday. Pretending to have forgotten wouldn't be wise," Vil replied, turning his body to face the duo squarely. "Do you both understand?"

They both nodded in agreement. Everything just needed to go according to plan.

Rising early from her bed, Claire embarked on her usual routine. She got up, began her classes, hoping that no inconveniences would disrupt her day, and looked forward to possibly meeting up with Vil later on. Then, she anticipated, she could finally rest once again.

She reached for her phone, intending to check the time, but as the screen illuminated, she realized— today is the day of her birthday.

Surely, nothing would interrupt her routine because of it.

"Claire! I remembered!" Grim exclaimed, waking up in an instant. "It's your birthday! Happy birthday, Claire!"

Claire chuckles a bit. Nothing will, hopefully, change her routine.

"Thank you, Grim. Just let not make a great neither big deal out of it. Okay? Grim playfully pretended to zip his mouth shut. "Again, thank you. You didn't had to, but I appreciate it."

As lunchtime approached, Claire found herself relieved that no one seemed to be acting suspiciously around her.

"Dearest," a voice behind her made Claire flinch, and she quickly turned to see who it was. "Happy birthday, Claire," Vil said with a warm smile, his eyes reflecting his genuine affection for her.

"How-"

"Bold of you to assume your own boyfriend wouldn't know such a thing."

"Still, I never told you..."

Claire chuckled shyly as Vil took her hands, placing a tender kiss on her knuckles. A gentle warmth spread through her at his affectionate gesture, her cheeks darkening to a deeper shade of red.

"I have my ways." He responded with a gentle smile, his eyes filled with fondness as he looked at her.

"Well, thank you, Vil."

"No need to thank me."

After lunch, Claire found herself with some free time on her hands. All the classrooms were filled with students attending their courses, and there were no available classes for her to take. The only options were practical magic and conjuration, where she would likely just sit around doing nothing. At least outside of class, she could read a book. Or so she thought, unexpectedly caught off guard by Kalim.

"There you are! Claire!" He jumped on her, almost making them both fall down. "Happy birthday!"

It was understandable that Vil would know her birthday, being her boyfriend, but the fact that Kalim also seemed to be aware of it was a bit surprising to Claire. She couldn't help but wonder how he found out.

"Why, thank you- But, how did you..."

"Kalim! Back to class!" Crewel's voice cut through the air, tinged with anger, as he swung the door open. Seeing Claire's figure his expression softened. "Happy birthday, pup."

"What-"

"-Have a good day!" Kalim goes back inside the classroom.

The sudden interruption left Claire feeling confused and almost overwhelmed by the unexpected turn of events. Claire struggled to articulate her feelings, but deep down, she knew she wasn't quite liking with the situation unfolding around her.

With some time still left on her hands, Claire decided to make a visit to Sam's store. After all, in any moment, Grim's tuna was going to end.

As Claire browsed the items on the shelves, humming a soft tune, Sam suddenly appeared behind her.

"Why, hello!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

"Hi, Sam. I didn't see you; I thought you might be restocking..."

"If it isn't the birthday girl herself!" Sam interrupted with a flourish of jazz hands. "Happy birthday, Claire! You know, just for today, I can give you an extra discount on the tuna, and-"

"No." She interrupts him this time. "I am sorry, I just feel like it's just a birthday. I don't understand why people make this a big deal." Claire furrowed her eyebrows, not knowing how to explain what was causing her to get so upset.

"My apologies," Sam muttered softly, sensing Claire's discomfort.

"I—" Claire glanced at the clock. "Thank you, I'll just go."

With a nod, Sam watched her leave, feeling puzzled by her unusual behavior.

As the day finally came to an end, Claire took a deep breath, resolving to head to Ramshackle before anyone else had the chance to wish her a happy birthday or engage in any further unexpected interactions.

But, of course life wasn't going to play easy with her.

"Floyd! Put me down."

For, Claire is now getting kidnapped by Floyd and Jade who are taking her to the Mostro Lounge.

"But, shrimpy! It's your birthday, we can't just let you go without showing you what Azul has to offer." He giggled looking behind to his brother. "Ne, Jade?"

"My brother is quite right Claire." Jade nodded in understanding, but Claire couldn't help but sigh, feeling her impatience growing with each passing moment.

Forced to sit down in the VIP room, Claire anxiously awaited Azul's arrival, her mind racing with anticipation and uncertainty.

"First of all; happy birthday, Prefect," When Azul finally arrived, his words triggered an instant reaction from Claire, causing her emotions to surge forth in response. "Second of all, as a birthday gift we have an perfect offer that-"

"I don't care!" Claire exclaimed, rising to her feet with a mixture of anger and anxiety evident on her face. "Why does everyone make such a big deal about birthdays? I've spent so long treating this day like any other, and now suddenly everyone decides birthdays are important?!" Her words carried the weight of pent-up frustration and confusion, her voice trembling slightly with underlying nerves.

She left the room in embarrassment, her cheeks flushed with emotion, unable to bear the intensity of the situation any longer. Trying to hold back tears.

"We were supposed to make her loose more time with us..." Whined Floyd.

"Don't worry," Azul commented, adjusting his glasses with a calm demeanor. "She inadvertently provided key information about why no one knew about her birthday before."

"Has she?" Floyd raised his eyebrow.

"Call the House Warden of Pomefiore."

Opening the door of Ramshackle, Claire felt exhausted and overwhelmed. Yet, as soon as she stepped inside, she was enveloped in strong arms, the embrace comforting and reassuring. Whispered words of comfort washed over her, easing some of the tension that had built up throughout the day.

"Vil?" She asked confused.

"I am so sorry, Claire, I..." He let's her go. Then she could see what was behind him...

The decorations weren't quite ready yet; the only things on the table were some buttery biscuits and a cake that wasn't even finished. It was a plain vanilla cake adorned with scattered blueberries, awaiting its final touches.

Everyone was present, but instead of happiness, an air of shame seemed to hang over them. Claire couldn't understand why.

"Vil and I thought you would like to experience a birthday with us… We just didn't anticipate it would become so overwhelming to arrange—Not that you're ungrateful!" Cater attempted to explain, his words tinged with a mix of apology and frustration for putting his friend through such a horrible day.

"Is…" Claire trailed off, a sadness creeping into her voice as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I just never saw my birthday as something special, so, seeing you all trying to make it be…" Her words faltered, her emotions too complex to articulate fully.

“Darling…” Vil sighs.

"I will have you know, why should all the other birthdays be special, yet yours not be, Claire?" Riddle questioned, his tone gentle but firm, as if urging her to reconsider her perspective.

“Well-“

"Your birthday is important because we care about it. We care about you," Deuce expressed, his smile fleeting as he turned to meet her gaze with a soft and sincere expression.

“I-“ Claire tried to stay calm instead of crying infront of others.

“I spent most of my time in the kitchen this morning to do your birthday cake, this wouldn’t be something I would do for anyone… Unless you pay me and I am at the bakery.” Trey chuckles scratching the back of his neck.

“It ain’t too much, but when we been to Harveston you mentioned to find those blankets really cozy, so I brought you one. Made by my grandma!” Epel proudly says.

“You do realize, my gift for you is an discount at the Mostro Lounge? For who else would I give it?” Questioned Azul.

Claire smiles holding back her tears shyly at the situation.

“You… Thank you, everyone. I just didn’t-“

“-Knew you would be this important? Of course you are?” Cater says.

Claire smiled, wiping her tears gently, feeling the warmth of an extra jacket being draped over her shoulders. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes of the care and support surrounding her.

"Better to find out late than never, isn't it right?" Vil asked, presenting her with a white birthday jacket handmade by him. "Shall we start everything?" His words carried a sense of warmth and reassurance, inviting Claire to embrace the moment and enjoy the celebration that had been prepared for her.

Claire nods with a smile.

“Yes, let’s go.”

Part 1. | Part 2.

[rudywashere]

MARI ANALYSIS (sorta)

NOTE: these are just my personal thoughts about mari’s personality and flaws and most of the proves and reasons i give and show are mostly based off my own interpretation of mari + me projecting myself because she’s a heavykin of mine whagwjswvskegskshq most of the points may sound squishy too because i just copied and pasted everything here while i was talking to my friend at that time

!!!!! AND OBVIOUSLY THERES GONNA BE SPOILERS OF OMORI!!!!!

So many people know and love mari for being the perfect older sister of sunny and overall an older sisterly figure to the rest of the group (except hero of course hahsga) and i am one of those people that love her because of it. despite me heavy kinning her i do have an issue with her character that is kinda being left out whenever people talk abt mari: she barely has any flaws

and whenever the group talked about mari they mostly discussed how perfect she was and how she was literally an angel because of how sweet she is!!! like don’t get me wrong obviously when someone you loved so much dies you can’t think of any negative traits about the person who passed away. you just constantly think about the positive memories you’ve shared with that person. It’s just impossible to think about the negative traits about a beloved one who passed away.

But still even as a mari kinnie myself it kind of bothered me how no one talked about her flaws and such. We all just saw mari as someone who is an older sisterly figure and how perfect she is. The closest we’ve gotten to a flaw of Mari is this

Mari wants to be so perfect that she gets disappointed so quickly when something isn’t good enough for her or doesn’t go according to her plan. That’s it. And whenever people talk about her flaw they mostly associate it with when Mari and Sunny had the fight because Sunny was too pressured thanks to Mari’s perfectionism

PLEASE HOLD ON TO ME IVE GOT A POINT!! Like mari cares ALOT that she HAS to be presented in a perfect manner or else she’ll be unsatisfied. Remember when mari took extra classes to be fully prepared for college??

She did all of it because she really wants to be fully prepared for college. okay now here comes the copy and paste stuff HAVSHAH

If you think abt the college part again mari chose to do these extra classes to be 100% prepared for college and have a perfect start for it because she fears that if she isn’t prepared enough for college, she would fail and failing would not fit her at all because she wants people to see her as a person who can deal with anything and is very independent. It fits to her “perfect status”. So i can see whenever something happens that could even mess some small things up she’ll get frustrated IMMEDIATELY and tries to fix it by herself because Mari is someone who doesn’t want to rely on others. She wants to handle everything by herself.

Personally I think it all started when people started to rely on Mari (mostly the younger ones/the kids that aren’t hero) and start telling her they see her as a motherly/older sisterly figure and mari was so happy to hear it that she doesn’t want to disappoint everyone by failing. So to keep up that title so she will do her best for the sake of not disappointing people. It’s really important to her but also for her friends and Sunny because she cares about them so much.

You could think that Mari’s biggest fear is either the thought of failing itself or disappointing everyone else surrounding her. And I also think that Mari is someone who fears major changes too like MASSIVE changes.

She is someone who wants everyone and everything to stay happy and nice as it has always been. So even the smallest mistake could be horrifying to her and ruin everything, which is why she has to keep everything perfect and make sure everything stays exactly how it is right now. For the sake of her friends’ precious life.

I think the fear of major changes may had hit her SO HARD when she passed away because ever since she died the group had split up, Sunny didn’t leave his house for four entire years and almost everyone isn’t exactly how they used to be. (Aubrey becoming an aggressive person with lots of built up anger or Hero becoming extremely lonely and depressed, having no real desire to keep up)

And because Mari doesn’t want to rely on others and instead lets everyone else rely on her, she doesn’t want to blame anyone for anything that has happened. I remember one specific scene where Sunny looked around in his house and there was some dialogue to a vase that was something like: “A replacement of the vase you have accidentally broken. Mari took the blame for you and said she broke it.”

Hell Mari didn’t even want to blame Sunny for her own death. She instead blames herself. Because of one little mistake she has done. And that mistake was pushing her perfectionism way too hard for the sake of not wanting to disappoint everyone else especially at the upcoming recital. And to think she died while facing one of her worst fears is honestly extremely upsetting for me. Man

Like Mari tried everything from preventing to make something NOT happen only to happen in one of the worst ways possible. Pushing her perfectionism so hard to the of the mistakes she has caused leading her into her own death. And the major changes she has caused to everyone else but also to the friendgroup itself because of it.

I can see why she would take the whole blame for herself and not even dare to make Sunny feel guilty about it. Not only because he’s her little brother but also because she is someone who wants to be responsible. And someone who didn’t want to disappoint everyone else.

PHEWWWWWW

TO SUM IT UP mari is someone who fears failure, little mistakes and especially major changes and her death had made her face those fears. and it’s all thanks to her wanting to be perfect and a reliable, responsible person who’d do anything to make the friend group stay together!!! I really wish omocat wouldve shown more of her flaws in the game and show her “not perfect” nature too!! and her friends would still love her even though she can’t stay perfect forever!!! but she’d still be very very nervous about it!!! again that could be mostly me projecting myself onto her because i heavykin her HAVSGAHSHAH anyways uhmmm if you have read all of it im gonna be SOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT AYAYAYAYA and if not that’s fine too!!’ :D

take care and stay healthy!!!! <333