#it makes him less of a perfect main character and makes the protagonists less... cardboard

[anakinh]

finished sea of stars. spoilers ahead.

overall i really liked it! but honestly? thought it was kinda mid until the clockwork castle. It got really good when you entered the sea of stars, but I've always loved sci-fi more than fantasy (and sci-fi fantasy mixes more than either of the two), so that's not surprising. didn't much care for the golden ending either. I think it's because i didn't love garl? which is surprising, usually I like good good boys.

tbh i think that's because they really mythologized garl. like, he's a 100% great dude, would love to be friends with him in real life, sounds like a wonderful guy. but as a character? he has some trauma but he's well adjusted? he's not snarky or bitchy? he's not even dumb?? but all my favourite good good boys fall under at least one of those categories!

anyway i loved resh'an, serai, and erlina. not surprising. especially resh'an's immortal all-powerful being love affair with a dude destroying entire worlds. i was a doctor who fan.

edit: one other thing to add. Sea of Stars is gorgeous. it's amazingly beautiful. play it for the art alone. hell, play it for the attention to detail in the art - the way it shifts when you move worlds is so great.

[fortuneravine]

Tell me about each of your PMD teams!

OH BOY ok okok

starting off with team obsidian (explorers of sky)

Mistral is. complicated. for starters i have played as her in rescue team, explorers, And super because at the time they were kinda just. me. less of an oc and more just my self insert (i actually changed their name because her old name is. just my name now)

but lately i've wanted her to be her own character and not me in totodile form so i'm kinda in the process of redoing everything about them.

Cinder i can say more about! they are a disaster. an absolute mess. sopping wet kitten born in a cardboard box all alone. she's wanted to be an explorer since she was little, but being a huge coward kinda got in the way of that. they got that scar on their chest when they went into a dungeon alone and it scared them away from exploring for a long time. it wasn't until she met mistral that she started to get her confidence back and they're much calmer and less afraid of everything nowadays!

now rescue team. i played as mistral again in my first pmddx playthough along with a cubone partner but. i have kinda replaced them as my Main pmd1 team with these guys. oops.

campfire are much more developed characters anyways so im gonna talk about them!

fig (she/any) is very quiet, as are basically all of my heroes because my selectively mute ass keeps latching onto silent protagonists. she's definitely the one i've given the not talking trait to the most though. chive is extremely extroverted and chatty so she handles all the talking. others tend to see them as closed off or mysterious because they can't get a good read on her. they're really sweet though

chive's main gimmick is she likes cooking! will probably settle down and open a little cafe once she's done with the rescue team business. likes to experiment with random berries and nuts she finds (fig keeps joking she's going to poison herself, but she owns like 3 different foraging guides, she knows what she's doing.)

next is team hydra! their ref is old and i need to redo it so here's one of my heropartnerweek pieces badly cropped. their names are Ceru (she/xe) and Olivine (he/they)

it turns out i lied when i said all my heroes are quiet ceru is actually pretty outgoing. still the more introverted of the duo but mainly because olivine is a people pleaser extraordinaire. she actually had a pretty boring life as a human and is a lot happier as a pokemon. she was Devastated about returning to the human world, mostly because xe didn't want to leave xyr friends, partially because oh come on it's so much cooler here i don't wanna go back to working retail

olivine, as i said, is a people pleaser, often to his detriment. he's always prioritizing other pokemon's happiness, even when it's at the cost of his own. they get better at this over time (ceru helps him a lot with learning to say No). he and ceru are inseparable besties. they're like a comedy duo. 2 things have olivine's undying commitment, his friends and The Bit

finally. super. again i already talked about mistral so here is Basil.

honestly? i feel like they don't have much of my own spin. pmsd partner is already a perfect character. they are so full of love. they love making others smile and they're maybe a little too enthusiastic about it. they tend to come off as overly friendly at best or annoying at worst. before meeting mistral they were pretty lonely despite trying so hard to make friends. they're very happy to finally have a real close friend who likes them how they are

this ended up a little rambly!! oops!! but there's my guys hope you like em :)

[nobodyfamousposts]

You know I was watching a video by overly sarcastic productions and I’m pretty sure that from that definition Adrien is a Mary Sue. The episode was Trope Talks: Mary Sues.

Pretty much Adrien is this to a T.

I hear people throwing the term around a lot and complaining about the term being thrown around a lot but I think what ends up being missed is what actually constitutes a Mary Sue in the first place.

A Mary Sue is not a character who is overpowered or “too strong” like the complaints about Captain Marvel. If that was true, then literally every anime protagonist or super hero that exists is a Mary Sue by default. Every one. Ever.

Nor is it someone with a tragic backstory like Batman or any other long line of superheroes or anime protagonists. Whether it’s dead parents, a past trauma, abuse, bullying, or just a conga line of horrible circumstances, plenty of characters have had bad things happen to them. That’s kind of part of life and what makes them relatable and sympathetic.

It’s not even someone who is loved by many people. Or is a good judge of character. Or whom manages to talk someone into a heel-face turn. Regardless of what claims may come, these are not what make a character a Mary Sue.

What makes a Mary Sue—the central core aspect of what makes a character problematic all boils down to how the narrative itself treats the character.

The narrative is generally indicative of the author’s own preferences or leanings. We see it all the time with stories that create straw characters to symbolize people the author doesn’t like or things the author doesn’t agree with in order to belittle it. The opposite can just as easily occur where a character or position is hyped up to look better or promote what the author wants promoted.

Those previously mentioned tropes are a sign of that. For a Mary Sue, everything from powers to past traumas to relationships are all just “things“ for the character to have. Whether to emphasize their importance or to highlight their greatness. While they’re not necessarily what automatically makes a character a Mary Sue, they are often utilized as tools by the narrative for the sake of propping the character that is a Sue. That’s why they’re easy to pick out and attribute to a Mary Sue as well as used to claim characters are Sues. Because they are tools used to try to make people support a character instead of actually making a character people can like and WANT to support.

A Mary Sue is given powers for the sake of making the character awesome without the character actually doing anything to be awesome. A Mary Sue is is given a tragic backstory for the sake of making the character sympathetic without the character actually doing anything to warrant sympathy. A Mary Sue is given relationships for the sake of being the center of attention and adoration by other characters to shell how awesome they are without having to do anything to show how or why anyone would or should actually like them. Any relationships a Mary Sue has are NOT legitimate connections between two or more people, they’re just labels to slap on the Mary Sue to make the character seem more relevant and important.

Ultimately, a Mary Sue supplants the story for the sake of having this character BE the story, and it’s a major reason why they are despised in most fandoms. A reason that, sad to say, was actually deserved in the early days of fan works.

That said…

Adrien IS a prime example of a Mary Sue because of the way the narrative is going out of its way to portray him. Even the creator has come out and said he is “perfect” and that any flaw he could have isn’t actually on him so much as an indication of something being wrong with the world around him. Anything bad that happens, even as a direct result of that character’s own actions, is portrayed as being the fault of anyone and everyone else but that character, in this case Adrien. That, RIGHT THERE is pretty much the epitome of what a Mary Sue IS.

Some call it an ego trip. Some call it a power fantasy. Many consider it as a sort of reality warper. It’s ultimately the case when the story is being turned in on itself to make this character look good without the character actually DOING anything to BE good and even when the character is specifically doing things that AREN’T good.

This is why Bella Swan from Twilight is a certifiable Mary Sue.

This is why it can be argued that Rey from Star Wars is a Mary Sue.

This is why Anita Blake is definitely a Mary Sue.

And this is what separates Adrien from Marinette. And Adrien from pretty much everyone else in the series.

It’s not that he has superpowers—if anything, I think he got cheated in the powers department, all things considered. No, it’s the way he doesn’t seem to take those powers or the responsibilities that come with them seriously. Given that he has had THREE instances already in which he threw a major fit in the middle of an akuma battle because he wasn’t happy about something only for him to be shown as being RIGHT to do so even to the detriment of his partner, his Miraculous, and ultimately all of Paris.

It’s not that he has a missing mom and a neglectful dad, it’s how the narrative keeps emphasizing how sad Adrien is without actually DOING anything with it so they can milk the “Sadrien” angle. Because let’s face it, seeing Adrien looking sad sells.

It’s not that he has multiple girls who like him. I mean, he’s a model, and is rich and famous. I’d be surprised if he didn’t have multiple girls who were into him.

No, it’s in the over the top emphasis of his supposed greatness. It’s in this consistent impression the narrative is giving that the female lead we are supposed to be rooting for—whom we all KNOW has gone well out of her way to do things for him, try to make him happy even to her own detriment, and has struggled more than any rational person should be willing to just to try confessing to the guy is somehow the one side of the love square that “isn’t trying hard enough”.

It’s in the way he is always portrayed as being the “moral voice” and the one in the right in any situation regardless of how little he’s involved or even understands what’s going on. Whether it was lecturing people on how to deal with a bully or for being happy when their bully was leaving (when he was never actually a target of that bully). Or lecturing people on how to deal with a liar (when again, he wasn’t the one being played or threatened). Or threatening to quit when Paris was flooded by an akuma all because he wasn’t being told secrets that he wasn’t showing he was ready to know and that his tantrum CERTAINLY didn’t show he was ready or mature enough for.

It’s in the back and forth on whether he is supposed to be the epitome of “perfection” and the wise person everyone should listen to only to suddenly be made out as the innocent victim of everyone else when his less than noble or heroic behaviors are pointed out in order to excuse or justify his behaviors. (I call it the Standard Adrien Defense and it follows this trend each time.)

It’s in the clear and blatant double standard between what Adrien/Chat is allowed to do and get away with vs what is allowed from anyone else. It’s in the way that Adrien can do things that anyone can agree is wrong without getting so much as a lecture but anyone else in his place will—and have been raked over the coals by the same narrative that gives him the equivalent of a pat on the head and a cookie.

It’s in the way he’s just…there. He has the plot connections. He has the relevance. He has the position of being at the center of quite literally everything from the villain’s plans and motivations to the adoration of the female lead…and he does NOTHING with any of it.

And it’s in the way that no matter what he does or what side he takes, the narrative always ALWAYS frames him as being the one in the right when there’s a conflict, the one to sympathize with when he and another character are hurt, and the one we as the audience are supposed to agree with and support more in any situation.

And the truly sad thing is that Adrien as a character has potential. From a humorous character to a serious one, from the wise and introspective person to the wide-eyed innocent being thrown into the hero job, there was SO MUCH that could have been done with his character. Instead, Adrien is reactionary. Anything involving him is less a matter of what he personally is doing and more about what is being done to or for him. He has no dreams or aspirations other than being with the main female character, has no interests to speak of, and his other relationships actually seem pretty lacking—again, based less on what HE’S doing and more on what other people are doing to and/or for HIM. He somehow has a wide-ranging impact without actually taking action.

As it stands, Canon Adrien is about as real as the cardboard cutout or wax statue of him. To the point he might as well be either for all that he actually seems to accomplish. Because nothing annoys fans or creates salt quite like wasted potential, and that’s all canon Adrien is at this point.

That’s why Fandom Adrien is awesome, whether he’s portrayed as being dense as a brick, showing a polite exterior while internally screaming, acting like a massive dork, or just acting passive aggressive in how he deals with his father and people like Chloe or Lila. Because however way he’s being made to deal with the crazy situations the fans put him in, he’s at least doing SOMETHING besides standing there and looking pretty for people to fawn/fight over.

Strangely enough, this may be the first case I’ve seen where fans have taken a Mary Sue and made him a real character rather than the other way around.

[veroticker]

Instacrush - Kate Meader

Summary (from Kate Meader’s website)

Theo Kershaw is the luckiest guy alive.

Roaring back from a life-threatening injury, he has the world at his skates as defenseman for his new team, the Chicago Rebels. Everyone adores his big personality, his on-ice talent, and his killer smile. Everyone but his prickly neighbor—or so he thinks. One chilly Christmas Eve, Theo will learn that maybe the girl next door isn’t such a hater after all . . .

Elle Butler is the most embarrassing person on the planet.

How else can the ex-military-now-bartender explain her crush on the hot jock who lives across the hall? True, he has gorgeous green eyes and perfect cheekbones, but the filter between his brain and too-sexy mouth is permanently malfunctioning. Yet she can’t stop checking out his Instagram antics or sneaking looks at him when he’s in her bar. So. Mortifying. Running from a past filled with damning secrets, Elle’s determined that this guilty pleasure remains buried in her deepest fantasies.

Because she couldn’t possibly indulge with the Theo Kershaw. Or make a mistake that draws attention to her under-the-radar life. And she especially couldn’t be a mom to a pro-athlete’s baby . . . could she?

Blurb

““Morning, hockey fans! It’s another fabulous day in Chicagoland!”

Grrr. He was already irritating her. Why must everything out of his mouth be punctuated with exclamation points? The guy was so extra which was probably why people adored him. As for Elle? She was here for the pretty.

Black, wavy hair that had clearly undergone some sort of finger-rake attack topped his ridiculously handsome head. His full, sensual lips were perfect for mouthing ludicrous opinions that had invariably bypassed his brain filter. Those cheekbones must have been carved by malevolent angels determined to make every man suffer by comparison, then stumble through the rest of their miserable lives when they realize perfection is unattainable.

But the kicker was the eyes. She’d read somewhere that less than 2% of the world’s population had green eyes. Theo’s were emerald chips raised to unstinting magnetism by flecks of gold, which was probably even more rare. (Because, Theo.)

Barely ten seconds into the video, and Theo seemed to realize that, as awesome as his cheekbones and hair and eyes were, the effect was magnified tenfold when he repositioned the camera to take in his broad shoulders and defined pecs. A flurry of emojis flooded the screen. He laughed, knowing exactly how that maneuver would be received.

Elle wasn’t laughing. Her mouth had turned as dry as butterless toast. To think she’d met him in person, had served him drinks in her bar, was less than thirty feet away from him right now—and she didn’t mean the metaphorical distance between his on-screen presence and her hormonal one.

Because Theo Kershaw, defenseman for the Chicago Rebels, teammate to her roommate, known as Superglutes because of his most excellent posterior, was also her neighbor. As in across-the-hall-hey-how-are-ya neighbor.

He was over there now, making this damn video and she was watching the show like a creeper.

Clearly satisfied with the effect his muscles had on his fan base, he brought his camera back in close. “So, we’re two days out to Christmas, friends, and I don’t have a game until two days after which means I have time to … wrap presents!” He flipped the lens to take in his living room, cluttered with wrapping paper, scotch tape, and assorted boxes. Something twanged in Elle’s chest. There would be no presents under her tree this year. Estrangement from one’s family tended to put a damper on the gift exchanges. But she’d made her decision, choosing her conscience over her blood. Now wasn’t the time for regrets.

Back facing the camera, Theo smiled. Elle swore she heard the thud of thousands of dropped phones the world over. “Anyone want to guess what I’m buying for my gran?”

The predictions came in hard and fast, ranging from a cashmere sweater to scented lotions to inappropriate items that no guy should be buying for an elderly female relative.

Theo’s dark eyebrows (probably professionally shaped) lowered as he read some of the messages, then raised as he likely came across the more risqué ones.

“Hold up there, I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your grandmother, but we’re not that kind of family!” He chuckled, the sound deep and going straight to her core. She had to give it to him: he knew exactly how to connect with a million plus people and their genitals.”

(review under the cut)

Review

I have read a couple of Kate Meader’s books after I fell in love with Luke Almeida (Flirting with fire), but no male protagonist could compete. Until Theo Kershaw. Theo is a puppy. A sexy puppy, mind me. He’s pretty, he’s hot, he’s funny, he’s loveable, he’s nice, he’s generous... and he’s a killer on ice. Perfection!

I really enjoyed the story of Superglutes--his nickname, due to a fabulous butt--that we discovered in Good guy. His relationship with Elle--Levi’s friend--was adorable, with the added bonus of a surprise pregnancy. It was my first introduction to the trope, and it couldn’t have been better: here we have a young guy who’s ready to do anything for a blob of cells conceived because of a failed condom.

Following the very strong feminist message in Good guy, Kate Meader kind of focus on the allies this time. Theo is adamant that Elle’s agency must be protected. Her body, her choice. And he’ll support her in any decision she’ll make. Good role model on top of everything :)

All the relationships (between friends, between boss and employees, between parents and children) were fascinating, with very compelling characters. And, of course, we still get the witty dialogues that are a Kate Meader trademark.

Also, as a hockey fan, I greatly enjoyed the depiction of various games. You can almost see the Rebels on the ice!

I highly recommend this one! You’ll have to wait though, as it won’t be released until December 10th. I had the privilege of winning an advance copy.

Quickie

Series: Rookie Rebels #2

Hashtags: #hockey romance #surprise pregnancy #con artists #family sucks

Main couple: Eloise Butler & Theo Kershaw

Hotness: 5/5

Romance: 5/5

+ Theo Kershaw (nuff said)

- Elle’s family was a bit ‘cardboard’ for me

Stalker mode

You can suscribe to Kate Meader’s newsletter on her website.

You can also follow her on Facebook.

[young-prince-lotor]

S8 Review, beware of spoilers, tears and fucking language.

Angry? Frustrated? Confused? Welcome, my fellow Voltron fans!

I have watched the first five seasons in a single week (the week before S6 came out) and I loved it. It was everything I could’ve hoped for in a show! Diverse characters, strong girls, thoughtful character developments, each person had a unique, moving story arch and the animation was so very beautiful. I still think this reboot was the best that ever blessed humanity with its existence.

And then S6 came out and I was hella disappointed. But wait, we still had two seasons to go and there was not all hope lost yet. Actually, they had even more potential now!

But it just... didn’t get better. It got worse.

I‘m gonna ignore S7 and come directly to the final season, ‘cause I’m still trembling and I need to fucking rant.

Allurance was pulled off a lot better than I expected, I’ll give you that. The date episode in general was okay, even though it seemed like Shiro had lost all relevance to the story at this point and could as well be made of cardboard. We still didn’t see his family, and don’t know if he had anyone close left on earth, basically, all his emotional connections were on the Atlas and Voltron now and completely ignored during the last season.

Anyway, even though Allurance was less artificial than feared, I have some criticism:

It still felt awfully one-sided. Allura was always passive, never initiated something like she did with Lotor.

The ship was ignored for six seasons. There was no slow buildup, no slowburn, it was just Lance swooning over a pretty girl who in turn had better things to do. Like saving the world.

Lances character development? His self-esteem issues? Poof, gone, he has a girlfriend now!

What was excellent however were the references to the old show, Pidge-Coleen-arguments and Coran being himself, honestly, that man is flawless.

So, let’s get back into space. Honerva’s memories were horrible and wonderful at the same time, her search for Lotor so heartbreaking. Kid Lotor was so pure and wonderful, and I can’t believe Dreamworks still wants us to see him as failed and evil after showing us his upbringing. Oh My God. Fuck. Fucking fuck. Baby.

Okay, change of plans, I’m not going to talk about every episode because I’m sure as hell not going to rewatch this torture. So here are my main problems:

The return of Sincline. How? No idea. What happened to the cosmic Komar? Who knows? And what the fuck did they do with Lotor? Boom, Sincline’s back, Allura gasps “No” and “Lotor is back!”... but then he isn’t? Did I miss something? We don’t see him again? We don’t learn what happened to him? If he or his corpse is still inside the ship? Like, we don’t know ANYTHING! They just present us this BOOM and go on as if nothing happened? What the fuck?

The entity. Oh, the entity. Where did it come from, where did it go? Where is the logic, Cotton-eye Joe? Did Honerva enter the rift while we weren’t looking? Did she find new friends in Sincline? Did she say Hocus Pocus Fidibus and created them out of thin air? Who knows? Certainly not Dreamworks. And then Alluras connection to it. It started as something fascinating, as so much potential for her to fall to a darker path and fight her way out of it. Like, it could’ve been perfect! She gets obsessed with it like Honerva did, has to recognize she’s not as puerely light as she thought, ultimately decides against power and for her newfound family and rids herself of the entity! But no. She’s Allura and always knows what’s best, keeps the entity and... nothing happens. It remains inside her until the end, with no more effect on her and the story. So much potential - wasted.

Lance turning Altean. LANCE turning ALTEAN. It just... it makes so little sense I don’t even know what questions to ask. How? Why? It doesn’t make any sense! Ignoring that it sends a really weird message to just let someone change species, it didn’t... it doesn’t... gawd! It’s no solution for anything, it’s no improvement for him, it’s no close for a story/personal arc! Why??? Just WHY?????

Allura dying alongside Honerva. First of all, why did they give Haggar (fucking HAGGAR!) a redemption, but Lotor is dead and chilling in the shadow of eternal evil? Like, Allura said some nice words and walked towards him and the end, but he didn’t get a chance! He couldn’t explain anything! He was just a pretty token that was no longer useful to the way they wanted it to end! And then they fucking killed Allura off. Swoosh, realities are back, oops, where did Daiberzaal and Altea come from?, we’ll give Allura a nice statue and be done with her. The main protagonist. The savior of life. Princess of Altea who had so. Much. More. To. Give. Why couldn’t she be happy for two fucking seconds?

I felt like this season was one giant Fuck You Move - towards the fandom, towards Lotor, towards Allura, towards everyone. It was just trying to go bigger, better, shinier. There was no more depth, no more of this Voltron-feeling. It was empty drama and tearjerkers, flat romance and felt like the creators just wanted to finally be done with us (not that I can’t understand that, we are kind of an unpleasant fandom). But fuck it, they shouldn’t have let the quality of this show suffer for it.

I probably forgot my other points, feel free to add yours. If anyone’s up for writing a fic that is basically an alternate Season 8 (or 7), sign me up cause alone I won’t get shit done in this mess of emotions I’m in.

[bionicallywriting]

Dramione & Reylo: Parallels

I'm always amazed at the first people to start shipping a relationship. Who are these creative geniuses? What did they see that nobody else saw? I, for one, never saw the possibility of Dramione until I started delving into the goodness that was the fanfics. Never imagined the possibility of a relationship that was the dream of a romance reader. The juxtaposition of the classic Romeo and Juliet conflict, but with more depth to it than two horny teenagers caught in the crux of a family feud they didn't really care about.

Hermione and Draco have history together--the type of history that binds them together just as surely as it forces them apart. They are possibly even more at odds with one another than Draco's and Harry's unfortunate first meeting, with even less background in common. They despise each other, with good reason. They're not drawn to each other just on the basis on anonymity, as with the older, more outdated, and substantially more simplistic Romeo and Juliet--there is a history of hatred and propaganda and bullying that goes beyond their own lifetime behind their relationship, and that's why their supposed would-be attraction is all the sweeter. Without this attraction to everything he is taught to hate, then the character of Draco is unredeemed, unexplored, unfinished.

Draco was the promised prince of the new wizarding world, the bright shining beacon that represented all the good things of the old world, with breeding and looks and money and intelligence. The fact that someone so privileged becomes the dark prince leaves so much area to be unexplored, so much more than Snape, who receives his redemption in canon.

(But note how Snape was also supposed to be an antihero archetype, thus the half blood PRINCE.)

I suspect that this relationship dynamic is exactly why so many Dramione shippers turn into Reylo shippers. In fact, if not for these fanfic artists and writers, I wouldn't have been able to see the appeal of Kylo Ren. Who was this whiny, angry, out of control brat who slashed out whenever something displeased him? He seemed more dangerous than Vader just on the basis of how unpredictable he was.

Kylo Ren is Draco Malfoy.

The shining scion of his world. The name that everyone knows. Deemed as spoiled, but bound by strictures more stringent than anyone truly spoiled could be. The privileged, talented prince from a background that set him on the path to become a hero, and when he couldn't live up to the promise of his background and name, the downward spiral into an unwilling villain, lured into the dark side, aided and abetted by the regrettable decisions of parents, and thus with the capacity to have a redemption arc as the antihero.

When I rewatched the Force Awakens and the Last Jedi (as well as read the novelizations for insight), it was to find that this was the quintessential love story background. This characterization is what draws people to Dramione, and I believe, what they managed to do so well for Reylo.

Without romance and love tied into the mix, Kylo Ren is unable to be the textured tapestry of the perfect antihero. He would simply be another whiny privileged brat who would be best rewarded for being an annoying emo by being kicked off the bridge of a ship.

The only way his character makes any sense, the constantly alluded power and potential--all of which were unseen on-screen--would be if all his actions and inexplicably mysterious one-liners were all for the love of one obscure rat from Jakku.

That's the only way he makes sense as a character, or lives up to the promise of a complex antihero.

His moodiness and rages. His prolonging the fight with Finn, who's supposedly nowhere near his equal. His drawing out the fight with Rey. His ineptitude in battle and command of military matters. None of this renders him in any way competent or even likable as a main character or even as the endgame villain--unless it were justified by an underlying romantic theme of loneliness, jealousy, and obsession.

There's always been something fascinating about the coming together of opposites. Black and white. Ice and fire. Earth and air. Ying and yang. There's something about being attracted to opposites that simply is dynamic, at least if it's fiction.

At the core of these two very similar OTPs is the heroine, and heroine they definitely are. They are, within the confines of their own tale, the makers of their own destiny, impetuous, moral, and feminine.

Make no mistake about it. Hermione was supposed to be feminine, despite all the extra words depicting her as unattractive. The fact that she was supposed to have a romance of her own and received a makeover of her own in GoF, as well as an international star who was infatuated with her, someone who then later vocally claims her as pretty--Hermione definitely was never meant to be a spinster friend.

As for being a heroine of her own tale, I sometimes wonder if the author felt she made a mistake not having Hermione as the protagonist, since she ended up being just as big a protagonist as Harry, what with her very compelling background and even becoming the one who is tortured on-page--there's surely not much more you can do to make someone the protagonist heroine than having her be captured and tortured in lieu of the hero.

Rey, also, similarly has the same scene--in her own battle against the villain in front of the male protagonist. Parallels.

And of course the most obvious would be their status in this world as the complete opposite of their antihero. Nonentity to Kylo's infamy. Muggleborn to Pureblood. Years of breeding to a complete freak of nature. Flowy white-ish attire to structured black armor. Jeans to suits. A spectrum of color versus black, the absence of color.

And yet. And yet. These two women have that something that makes them a match for their counterpart. The force. Intelligence and fierceness. Determination. Idealism. Willingness to sacrifice oneself.

For Draco to want Hermione simply makes sense, in a literary cosmic way, and a lot of writers must have sensed this.

This is the heroine & antihero redemption storyline, the Beauty and the Beast. This is probably why so many writers put these characters into a captive & captor role, of feminine defiance winning against the reluctant conqueror. Reylo is Dramione, the canon no one got. The similarities are the reason both are seen as a trash ship, unhealthy and unwise. Why would anyone fantasize about Draco/Kylo?

But as in Beauty and the Beast, this is the ultimate fairy tale, to find the prince instead of the monster you saw. It isn't just enough that you found the perfect man, but that you found an imperfect man who realized his own imperfections and wanted to change them. Because no one wants cardboard perfection and no one wants what's so easily attainable. What one cherishes is the ability for self-reflection and that diamond that's all the brighter when your hands were the ones to rub away the dross.

[littlemisssquiggles]

Pinehead Headcanons:  Oscar’s Legacy: The Pinerose Children

keyenuta asked “Hey meister squiggle, what do you think oscar and ruby’s kids would look and act like in your opinion. I am really interested in your thoughts. And as a bonus how wiykd oscar and ruby’s future relationship be like? “

Squiggles Answers:

@keyenuta Aah yes, the RoseGarden future kiddos.

Lots of fellow RG-shippers have their own interpretations of Oscar and Ruby’s potential offspring.  And funnily enough, so does this squiggle meister so I’m glad you asked me this question, Key. Gives me an opportunity to share my ideas for the RG kids.  So let’s get into it:

Alright, so I kind of have an inkling of a story for a Future RWBY AU. I’ll call my version, N.O.V.A because it’s the name of the huntsmen team that one of the RoseGarden children is a part of. If RoosterTeeth and the CRWBY ever decided to expand the RWBY franchise and give us a spin-off series taking place years later that follows the children of Team RWBY and JNPR, then I think that could be another awesome way of growing the RWBY universe. But that’s just me.

In my N.O.V.A universe, Ruby and Oscar got married ten years after the Death of Salem and like most couples, settled down to start a family together under the last name: Pinerose, a combination of their surnames as a symbol of their union.

“What would Ruby and Oscar’s future relationship be like?”

Well, in my interpretation, I’d imagine Ruby and Oscar having a pretty great marriage. I mean I don’t expect them to have the most sugarcoated, cardboard cut-out, dream house perfect marriage. They’ll still have their fair share of trials and triumphs and occasional disagreements like any average couple would. However in my head, Ruby and Oscar share a nice, comfortable and happy marriage that’s built on a strong relationship of trust, honesty and loyalty that started from since they were young huntsmen training and fighting alongside each other as brethren-in-combat. And this bond only strengthened when they became husband and wife.

And of course, there is the unyielding love they share for each other. The kind of love where if one of them suddenly died or disappeared off the face of Remnant, not only will the other be devastated by this loss but they would also become determined to do everything in their power to find their lost companion.

The idea I had for N.O.V.A is that prior to the story, Ruby Rose sacrifices herself during an incident that almost destroyed the Beacon Academy for a second time in Remnant history. She was then never seen again after that night. Though many believed the former Silver Eyed huntress to be dead, since her corpse was never salvaged from the wreckage of Beacon, there is an underlining mystery surrounding her untimely demise that sets the stage for the plot of this future AU of mine.

My concept is that N.O.V.A takes place a year after Ruby’s alleged death. It is told through the eyes of one of the Pinerose children who is our main protagonist and follows their story as they start their first year of huntsmen training at the new Beacon Academy. Beyond this, the narrative also touches on storylines that highlight how Ruby’s family and closest friends (like her former teammates of Team RWBY and JNPR) are coping and moving on with their lives after losing her all wrapped up in a strange enigma that begs the question, what really happened to Ruby Rose.

That’s the idea I had. Speaking of Pinerose family…

“What do you think Oscar and Ruby's kids would look and act like in your opinion?”

Aww yeah, here’s the fun part. So for me, I pictured Oscar and Ruby having four kids: two boys and two girls. In N.O.V.A, the names of Ruby and Oscar kids are Ozma, Scarlett, Oliver and Ivy.

The Pinerose Siblings:

Ozma II

[TBD]

Scarlett 

Scarlett Pinerose is the second oldest of the three Pinerose children. She got her name for her most striking feature---her long, wavy scarlet red hair that’s almost as long as she was tall. When I picture Scarlett, I see her having hair so long that it would give Weiss Schnee a run for her money since Weiss has the longest hair of any character I’ve seen in RWBY so far.  

As a matter of fact; at some point in Scarlett’s childhood, her aunt (and godmother) Weiss had to intervene in her upbringing when her parents allowed Scarlett’s hair to get so long, the girl was practically tripping over her own hair at some point; insisting she got a haircut, something that Scarlett didn’t like at first. In my head, Scarlett isn’t fond about cutting her hair, a sentiment and understanding she shared with her Aunt Yang. Fortunately, her Aunt Weiss had decent hair styling skills and would often help educate Scarlett on how to care for her long hair since she herself is no stranger to long luxurious locks.

In terms of appearance, I pictured Scarlett more taking after her mother in looks. The only exception is the colour of her skin. I imagined her skin tone being a mix of her parents. As a matter of fact, I pictured both Pinerose girl children sharing a complexion that is closer to their father’s tanned skin tone while the son, Oliver, inherited his mother’s lighter skin tone.

In regards to Scarlett, older Oscar would always joke and say “…At least one of my kids turned out more like me but I’m happy she’s as beautiful as her mother though…”

This is going to sound odd, but another idea I had for Scarlett is that, she was like Pyrhha Nikos reborn as Oscar and Ruby’s first daughter. As a matter of fact, in N.O.V.A, Scarlett’s full name is Scarlett Pyrhha Pinerose with Ruby honouring her former huntress by give her first daughter her name. She had originally wanted to name her Pyrhha but since Jaune wanted to name his first daughter after Pyrhha, as she was his teammate; Ruby decided to make it Scarlett’s middle name instead.

So in N.O.V.A,  both Ruby and Jaune have daughters sharing the name Pyrhha. Double the tribute to their former friend.

However, the irony is that Scarlett is more like Pyrhha than Jaune’s own daughter Pyrhha. Personality-wise, Scarlett shares Pyrhha’s selfless and kind-hearted nature making her quite friendly and sociable. She is also an exceptional fighter.

Scarlett is also much like her father, if Oscar inherited some of Ozpin’s personality traits after their fusion into the Wizard. Such as his calm and collected nature and his ability to remain resolute even in the direst of situations

At nineteen years old, Scarlett is a third year huntsmen studying at Shade Academy. In the story I concocted, Scarlett was originally a full-time student of Beacon Academy until the school was destroyed for the second time, rendering half the compound in shambles. It took almost an entire year for the school to be restored and during that time, the students had a choice of whether or not they wished to wait for the school to be repaired or continue their training elsewhere in one of the remaining huntsmen academies.

Scarlett, like many of her fellow third years, decided to temporarily continue her studies elsewhere during the year long hiatus and opted for Shade Academy since Vacuo was the closest kingdom to her family’s home in the Patch near Vale.

Another trait about Scarlett is that she was born ‘mute’ due to a complication during Ruby’s first pregnancy. Despite this, Scarlett never allowed her disability to hold her back. I got the idea to make Scarlett a badass mute after seeing how cool of character General Amaya from the new Netflix series: The Dragon Prince is.

For N.O.V.A, Scarlett is also the leader of her huntsmen team: Team SLVR and one of her teammates, a boy named Victor is also her best friend who acts as her ‘voice’ amongst their group. Despite lacking a voice of her own, that’s never stopped Scarlett from making her presence known. I imagined Scarlett to be fierce, determined but above all else, she is a kind and compassionate young woman who strongly values her friends and family because she considers them her greatest strength.

Speaking of which, Scarlett is especially close to her family. Being the first born child and big sister, she shares close ties with every member of her family household. She is especially close with her siblings, more so Oliver than Ivy since the two are two years apart. Scarlett was also once close to her mother, Ruby, which was why her ‘death’ hurt her just as much as everyone else.

Though she never allowed it to break her down too much especially after seeing the pain the news took on their father. As the oldest, she had the responsibility of being the pillar that kept her household from falling apart.

There was even a point when she considered quitting becoming a huntress in order to care for her family since firstly, her father, Oscar, was a complete mess, spending most of his days in bed following a meltdown over losing Ruby that left him, less of himself.

Secondly, her little sister hadn’t started combat school as yet and still needed to be looked after whereas lastly, Oliver was in his final year of combat school and…wasn’t doing so well himself emotionally since their mother’s passing left him more angry than anything and he would often get himself into reckless trouble while trying to cope with that anger.

So because of this, Scarlet had to become the glue to hold everyone together as best as she could.

But it was eventually the wise words of her Aunt Yang and the encouragement of her grandfather Tai Yang and great-uncle Qrow that convinced Scarlett to resume her training under the implication that it’s what her mother would’ve wanted for her to do. Yang told Scarlett that her sister would’ve wanted her oldest daughter to honour her memory and press on for the greater good of mankind rather than allowing her to be what holds her back.  

So Scarlett returned to school with the promise from Yang, Qrow and Tai that they would keep an eye on her family while she focused on her training.

Tai looked after Ivy, Qrow dealt with Oscar and Yang knocked some sense---I mean disciplined Oliver.

Oliver

Oliver Pinerose is the only son of Oscar and Ruby. In appearance, Oliver takes the most after Oscar of all his children. You can almost say that Oliver is the spitting image of his father at seventeen years old but with Ruby’s hair colour. Like his father, Oliver is freckly and shares a face full of freckles.

Oliver is also the only one of the Pinerose children to inherit his mother’s Silver Eyed powers. However the idea I had is that for the longest while, no one believed Oliver was a Silver-Eyed Warrior because technically he doesn’t have silver eyes. On the contrary, Oliver’s eyes are hazel brown with a bit of grey around the iris. But just as how Yang’s eyes used to turn red like her mother’s whenever angry, Oliver’s eyes would turn silver when channelling his Silver Eyed power or…at least that’s the idea I had in my head.

I also figured that, as a tribute to Ozpin, Oscar would give his son Ozpin’s original name. I’ve had this long-standing theory that Ozpin is only an alias that the old wizard carried for himself and shared with his successors. I figured that like his many other forms; Ozpin too had an original name before becoming Ozpin. I figured once Oscar learnt that name, he’d give it to his only son so that a piece of Ozpin’s legacy would carry with his son as well. So Oliver’s full name would be Oliver [Insert Ozpin’s true name here] Pinerose.

At seventeen years old, Oliver is the proclaimed ‘wild child’ of the Pinerose Family. Though he looks the most like his father out of the three siblings, Oliver shares a lot in common with his mother in terms of character. Like picture a gender-bent version of Ruby Rose only more hyperactive, more prone to trouble with a bit of hot temper and tendency to perform daringly crazy stunts when provoked enough.

If I had to surmise my concept for Oliver’s character in one phrase, it would be ‘…A huntsmen eager to be the hero whose heart is always in the right place and while his actions mean well, often times, the way he decides to go about things is what puts him in the most trouble…’

For example: Oliver would be the type of guy who would willingly go out of his way to return a wallet to a person after being stolen. But would also secretly swipe a few hundred lien from said wallet to give to the homeless person he noticed the wallet owner callously refusing to give money to for food earlier on.

But more times than none, the way he chooses to go about helping others and the lengths he’s willing to go to accomplish that---while some might call Oliver heroic. Others, especially the people who care about him the most and acknowledge his rash nature, like his father, might find him dangerous. A lose canon. A hazard to himself and if not to careful, others who might look to him as an ally. 

It’s for this reason why Oliver and his father, Oscar, don’t often see eye to eye. In N.O.V.A, Oliver and Oscar have a somewhat strained relationship as father and son. Both Oliver and Oscar share very different ideologies of what it means to be a hero and what needs to be done for the greater good of protecting others.

Don’t get me wrong, Oliver and Oscar are close, as close as any father and son could be but their different ways of thinking often cause them to butt heads. Sounds familiar?

This doesn’t mean Oliver hates his father (though he often acts like he might) nor does it mean Oscar loves his son any less than he does all of his children. Their relationship is just, very complicated and it was only made worse by the events that took Ruby.

Ruby meant a lot to Oliver. To him, she was more than just his loving mother that would bake his favourite chocolate chip cookies whenever he was sad or stay up till way past his bedtime having pretend sword fights with him where she pretended to be the dastardly villain to his valiant hero.

She was more than the woman who trained him to be a scythe wielder just like her and never got angry with him whenever he’d mess up during his training; especially during the two times he accidentally shot Grunkle Qrow trying to use Crescent Rose for practice.

More than the woman who would act out stories of her most daring adventures to him and his sisters when they were children. More than the woman who once shouted from the rooftops of their house in the Patch of how proud she was of her son when he got accepted into combat school when she was still pregnant with his baby sister, nearly giving both his father and his grandfather joint heart attacks. More than the woman who was also his best friend.

She was his hero. The person who inspired him to become a huntsman in the first place and was the most supportive during his years of combat school training. Even during the times he messed up really bad. She was the one that saw past his so-called ‘dangerous’ persona like his father once described him and saw him for what he truly was---someone still worthy of being a great hero in spite of his flaws.

Oliver loved his mother and when she was taken away from him and his family, he was beyond crushed. He was furious. And unfortunately, losing his mother consequentially hurt his relationship with his father even more. In Oliver’s head, he believes his father had abandoned their mother. Even when Oliver disclosed to him his suspicions that Ruby was still alive somewhere and practically begged his father to help him find her, what did he do?

Well first, he lay around in bed all day like a pussy (as Oliver put it) forcing his sister to quit school to do his job as head of their household. But what honestly hurt and angered Oliver the most was that even when he recovered, all Oscar did was return to the title that, according to Oliver, was apparently more important to him than being husband to the best huntress in Remnant and his own father. Being the great and powerful Headmaster of Beacon Academy.  

However, being headmaster doesn’t mean that Oscar neglects Oliver. On the contrary, Oscar spends more time worrying over his son (and by extension his huntsmen team) than any other student at Beacon. So much so that his own vice headmistress has to often scold him for his lack of professionalism in differentiating his duties as a headmaster and as a father.

Oliver’s reckless persona coupled together with Oscar’s own misunderstanding of his son’s actions often causes him to be more protective of him. So as a result, Oscar is stricter with Oliver and more prone to keeping a watchful eye on him as opposed to his sisters. This, in turn, results in Oliver misunderstanding his father’s overbearing protectiveness for either not trusting him or not believing in his abilities as a huntsman. And the fact that Oscar happens to be the headmaster of the same huntsmen academy his son attends with all the power and ties in Remnant to put reigns on him doesn’t help either.

As mentioned, in the N.O.V.A universe, Oscar is the current Headmaster of Beacon Academy (because of course he would be), following in the former Ozpin’s footsteps. At Beacon, Oscar even prefers for the staff and students of the school to refer to him as Professor Ozpin reserving his real name: Oscar Pinerose for only his family and most trusted allies.

That doesn’t stop Oliver from referring to him by ‘Oscar’ (or more rudely, ‘Ass-car’) whenever speaking of the headmaster though. He doesn’t even call him ‘dad’ anymore. Just straight cut to his real name or a cruder nickname.

I know I make Oliver out to sound like a real brat but…at his core, he is a great person; I swear. Like I said, he’s a lot like Ruby. It’s just that when it comes to how things are between him and his father coupled together with Oliver’s obsession in finding his alleged missing mother, it brings out a different side of him that could either be interpreted as good or bad. That’s the concept I have for him.

Oh and as a final note, if you haven’t already guessed, Oliver is part of Team N.O.V.A that my RWBY Future AU is based on. He’s not the leader though. Then again Oliver never aspired to be team leader. All he desired was to be a part of an amazing group of huntsmen who would become his most trusted allies both on and off the battlefield, and who would ‘see the good in him when others don’t’ and/or ‘help him to stay on the straight path if he ever wavered’. And fortunately for Oliver, that’s exactly what he got and more.

Ivy

Last but not least, there is Ivy Pinerose. Full name Ivy Summer Pinerose. At thirteen years old, she is the youngest of the Pinerose Siblings---the baby of the bunch.

Appearance-wise, Ivy is a mix of both of her parents. Some days she looks more like Ruby however on most days, she resembles a female version of Oscar. Like her father, she has tanned skin (a little darker shade than her father’s complexion) and short black hair like her father’s that’s the same length as her mother’s hair when she was a teenager.

She also had freckles. Oliver and Ivy are the only two of the Pinerose kids to inherit their father’s trademark freckles though Ivy just has a couple on her nose and shoulders while her brother got the most of the freckle gene.

I also had this idea for the Pinerose kids inheriting their father’s eye colour. Oscar’s signature hazel eyes are on the most striking things about his appearance so I really love the idea of his children gaining that trait from him.

In my head, both Scarlet and Ivy have hazel eyes just like their father’s. The only exception is Oliver who takes after Ruby. Qrow did mention back in the canon series that having silver eyes is a rare trait. So out of the three kids, Oliver is the only one to gain his mother’s ability (despite technically not having silver eyes).

In terms of personality, I picture Ivy being pretty brainy for her age. She loves learning about everything around her. She’s very curious, sometimes to inappropriate levels. Because of her curious nature, growing up she had a habit of breaking things, like her toys (and sometimes her sibling’s things) apart in order to understand them better. Don’t worry. She always puts them back together after she fully learning understanding how they functioned…but only if her folks managed to catch her in time before she tried to ‘upgrade’ said object or use its parts towards an experimental project of hers. Ivy had a lot of those growing up. However her true love is huntsmen weapons.

Ivy loves admiring huntsmen weaponry just as much as she enjoys trying to craft her own as a hobby. Who do you think helped put mom’s Crescent Rose back in one piece after Oliver accidentally broke it when he was her age---an incident that coincidentally also led to Ivy assisting her brother in building his trademark scythe. It’s one of the ways, the two siblings bonded as kids. As an added note to Oliver’s character, he shares in his baby sister’s admiration for huntsmen weaponry but lacks the brains and skill to make his own. At least he can draw. Hence the appreciated sister from his brainiac, weapon-genius younger sister.

Making Oliver’s signature huntsmen scythe was one of the fondest memories Ivy had hanging out and collaborating with her big brother and sister while he was still at combat school.  As the younger siblings, Ivy is close with Oliver and the two often keep in contact while he’s at Beacon Academy with Oliver confiding most of his adventures in his little sister.

When it comes to a battle of intelligence, Ivy’s main weapon is her mind…and her sass. But despite being smart, Ivy isn’t the most sociable person in the world. She’s outgoing enough get along very well with the members of her family but immediately becomes uncomfortable when having to interact with others outside of her family.

She isn’t the best at making friends…at least with anyone who wasn’t related to her in some shape or form. However for some strange reason, communicating  with animals or animal-like creatures have never been a problem for Ivy.

I say animal-like creatures since animals, though existent, are also quite scarce in Remnant for some unexplained reason. We see more of the Grimm and the Faunus than we do of any actual animals. Makes me wonder if there is a connection to that but…I digress.

Anyways, it’s her introvertedness that made Ivy quite nervous about attending combat school. The story I had for Ivy was that she was supposed to start her first year of combat school while her brother and sister went off to their respective huntsmen academies. But due to anxiety which only worsened following the ‘death of her mother’, she decided to not attend combat school reconsidering to become a huntsman at all.

So for the time being, until she could make up her mind on what she wanted to do, Ivy is staying with her grandfather, Tai Xiao Long while the rest of her family were away from home. At this stage, Tai would be retired, both from being a huntsmen and a teacher over at Signal.

But that doesn’t stop him from wanting to help his youngest granddaughter. When her nose isn’t buried deep in a book or piece of tech, Tai would encourage Ivy to practice her fighting skills. So the two would often spa together like how Tai was with Yang in V4. 

Because of this, Ivy is pretty decent at hand to hand combat, courtesy of her grandpa’s training.

Fortunately for Ivy, due to her grandfather being a former teacher of Signal Academy, Tai was able to ‘pull some strings’ to ensure that Ivy didn’t lose her spot at the academy. The current headmaster of Signal Academy was understanding enough of Ivy’s predicament (after hearing of what happened to her mother) to give her one full semester to make up her mind about joining the school. So for the time being, Ivy is with Tai while the retired huntsmen does his best to help her through whatever grief she’s going through while the rest of her family were absent.

The idea I had is that, of the Pinerose Siblings, Ivy is the one who is the least sure about becoming a huntsman. Unlike Scarlett and Oliver who both aspired to become huntsmen from since before they were Ivy’s age, Ivy was never quite sure if the huntsmen lifestyle suited her.

She knew she definitely wanted to help people---well more so animals than people since she got along better with animals than actual persons who weren’t her immediate family. But she wasn’t sure if becoming a huntress in order to achieve that goal was the path best for her.

So that’s the dilemma she has to face in her side of the story in N.O.V.A.

To conclude:

And…that’s all folks!

That is my version of the RWBY RG Future AU. I hope that best answers your questions Key. Thanks again for asking and giving me the opportunity to share my ideas for this. Let me know what you think if you can and the same goes for anyone who reads this.

What do you guys think of this squiggle meister’s version of the RoseGarden kids as well as the crumbs of the N.O.V.A storyline I sprinkled throughout their character notes. I’d like to hear your thoughts on my thoughts.

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

[snicketsleuth]

Slackin’ with the Sleuth: Reviewing Netflix’s “The Austere Academy”

Writing a season opener is an ungrateful task: once you have recapped the previous year of plot and set up the precious exposition, there is usually not much left to enjoy. That being said, this installment could very well be the weakest double-episode so far: it struggles to start the running B-plot of the season to the point that it forgets to be an adaptation of a particular book, or even a basic episode of a streaming television series. It is, quite frankly, a mess with some fantastical bits. But the sum feels less worthy than the amount of its parts.

At this point the Netflix series has fundamentally changed the basic narrative structure which befits the story. It is strange to remember that the books closely follow the point of view of the Baudelaire orphans and never leave their side. Of course, this story is told by a tangential narrator who frequently interrupts the tale of the children to make allusions to his own life… but “allusions” remain the key word there. Daniel Handler even had to release supplementary materials (“The un-Authorized Autobiography”, “The Beatrice Letters”, etc.) to clear up parts of the plot which couldn’t have been included in the main series itself, as it needed to focus on its protagonists. And that is precisely what the Netflix adaptation loses here: focus. We are dealing with an ensemble cast off to its own particular adventures, its own separate plotlines. The camera moves from one protagonist to the next like a player over chess pieces, leaving little time for the characters to breathe.

And it is unfortunately for that reason that Duncan and Isadora become even more forgettable than they are in the books. Several key dialogs from the books, intended to work up their charm, were omitted (the initial confusion of the Baudelaire orphans over the twin/triplet controversy, Duncan’s pyrophobia, the wild dreams of the printing house: etc. Most of the charm of “The Austere Academy”, as a book, is the opportunity for the Baudelaire orphans to relate to another set of people who have fallen in similar circumstances, to find some manner of community. Its adaptation has no time to explore that. Given the importance of the triplets in later episodes, it is honestly dumbfounding that the writers didn’t take more time to establish them as characters. Especially considering the great work they did to develop more secondary players like Georgina, Babs or Hal, not to mention non-entities such as Gustav. The next episodes cannot make up for this as Duncan and Isadora are limited to a much stricter screen-time, because of plot constraints.

It is natural that the writers would fall in love with characters/relationships they essentially created or introduced for the show… but a line must be drawn when it comes at the expanse of preexisting characters. What, indeed, did the actions of the V.F.D. supervisors amount to? There is not much point to Olivia Caliban’s character in this episode, and even then, little which could not have been accomplished just as well by the character of Jacquelyn Scieszka. Larry’s quest is ultimately pointless as the Baudelaire orphans never really get to browse the contents of the book he’s trying to deliver. Jacques Snicket’s earlier introduction is, however, a welcome and even necessary invention. His death in the books has shock value yet nothing else, as the reader knows nothing about him. The Netflix show instead sets him up as likeable support primed for heartbreak.

Lemony’s monologue in his brother’s car is admittedly the best scene in “The Austere Academy”. Patrick Warburton delivers the perfect emotional cues without breaking from his usual flair. His admission of how much he misses Jacques, who we can still hear whistling nonchalantly, goes down as one of the most emotional scene in the adaptation. A perfect testament to the narration of the books. The talent of the writing team never leaves the screen for a second, it’s just… misdirected.

Speaking of characters, it’s about time we address the real star of this episode… And as strange as it may seem, sometimes an actor can be too good. Kitana Turnbull is adorably obnoxious and obnoxiously adorable as the infamous Carmelita Spats, but at what cost? She acts Malina Weissman and Louis Hynes under the table. Baudelaires and Quagmires look stiff and awkward next to her. Even her singing sounds too harmonious. We should NOT be looking forward to the sound of Carmelita’s voice, she’s supposed to be annoying! The writers even felt obligated to have Violet begrudgingly admit her recitals are “improving”. That being said, two hours of “The Carmelita show (starring those cakesniffing orphans)” is far from an unpleasant experience. Although Carmelita only becomes Olaf’s sith-in-training much later in the series, introducing their dynamic right off the bat is a great idea. The show even suggests a possible etymology for the word “cakesniffer”, whose exact meaning remains a mystery in the books. The answer is both blunt and traumatizing.

We should also not forget Roger Bart’s performance as Vice Principal Nero, which deserves just as much praise. The secondary players of “A Series Of Unfortunate Events” are tricky parts, as they rely so much on caricature. Finding some warmth, some internal struggle to sell the character as more than a bland cardboard cut-out is no easy task, but Bart undoubtedly succeeds. It is only while watching the episode that I understood the point of Nero’s character in the books; he is very much Daniel Handler’s dark alter-ego, a somber reminder of the bitter maniac he could have become had he not succeeded as a writer. You have to give credits to the writing team for trying to expand on these characters while retaining as much of their original lines as possible.

As usual Neil Patrick Harris expanded Olaf’s disguise-of-the-week in interesting ways, and Coach Genghis could perhaps be the most ambitious yet. He retooled the character persona as a mix of Hitlerian youth leader and self-actualization guru, all in the name of “school spirit”. The end result is strikingly similar to several criticisms made on the education system in other books (“The Basic Eight”, “Why We Broke Up”, etc.). The social satire of the original series lost nothing of its bite. If anything, it’s coming back with a vengeance. Putting Genghis’ arrival at Prufrock as the mid-episode ending was definitely a mistake, however. Olaf has already come back to torment the Baudelaire orphans under three disguises at this point, therefore the revelation of a new one is not much to fuss about.

And if we have to really put our cards on the table, I suppose I should once again speak of the worst, most damageable aspect of the Netflix series: its music. No, scratch that; its sound design. The series is extremely fast-paced and dialogue-heavy. With Lemony’s narration already commenting on everything, putting so much music into every single scene is the worst possible choice the directors could have made. It drowns out the lines of dialog, which become difficult to follow, and every scene feels, looks and sounds the same: accordion and klezmer everywhere. There is, to put it simply, no pacing and no ambiance. It’s heartbreaking to see so much money wasted on expensive sets when you know it’s going to get ruined by the same cursed accordion notes.

On that regard, there were clearly some budget accommodations made on this episode. The director of “The Miserable Mill” simply made Prufrock Prep way too big: its exterior layout makes it look big enough to house a thousand students, but we only ever see a hundred of them at the pep rally… And the cafeteria can only seat two dozens.

More new musical themes could have helped. It’s really more of a general complaint, but it’s especially bad in “The Austere Academy”. Nero’s terrible recitals actually act as welcomed pauses in the pacing, since they require silence in the background. But the worst offender has to be that final scene before the midway point: as Genghis is about to introduce himself on stage, the Quagmires cry out to the Baudelaires, who can’t hear them because of how much noise the crowd is making. But we don’t even really hear the crowd making a ruckus: the accordion music is louder, it just sounds and feels exactly like every other scene, noisy environment or not. Therefore the viewer can’t really understand why the Baudelaires and Quagmires can’t communicate. It’s a painful and spectacular failure of sound mixing.

The entire ordeal is a cacophonic catastrophic in that it robs several key scenes of their intended emotional resonance. The Quagmire’s final capture is but one many dark and dramatic moments in the plot on which the Netflix adaptation fails to capitalize. It’s nowhere near as bad as the humorous trombone played over Josephine Anwhistle’s death scene, but it’s getting close. So far “The Austere Academy” retains too much of the original books’ contents, and understands them too well, to deliver anything but great television… but it succeeds in the details rather than the big picture. If only it could be the other way around!

[basklin]

A love letter to Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number

or how I learned to stop worrying and love the game.

Hotline Miami 2 turned 3 yesterday, I thought I’d write something up for it!

The following contains spoilers for both Hotline Miami and Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number. I'm going to put it under a read more seeing as I got carried away.

I didn't get to play the game on its release date, I was busy with real life. My sister was playing a part in her university theatre troupe and had a role as Miss Prism in The Importance of Being Earnest, it coincided with the date of Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number's release and I was going to go back to the house me and my family were staying in at the time. It was a moment of respite during a time of year where I was working on my final art presentation for my school and I had worked non stop on it. I wanted to play the game since its announcement and having finished the first Hotline Miami less than a year before, I had waited so long, I could wait a day longer, my time was my own to work with. The comics by Dayjob Studio had gotten me really excited for the game at the time as well, more than happy to see my favorite medium put to use in promoting a game I was looking forward to.

I got back to my student flat in the early afternoon and made myself lunch, downloaded the game (updates and bug fixes included) and happily started it up. I'm ashamed to say now that I was expecting most of what the first few levels had to offer, since I'd spoiled myself on a leak that came out a few months before the official release of the game. I originally wasn't going to watch it, but a friend who'd watched before me said there was a character with my name in it, seeing as that was so rare to me, I caved in really fast. (Fun fact: it was the direct inspiration for one of the first comics I did for that game)

I have to point out that I'm thankful that the game's slasher style tutorial wasn't spoiled in the leaked gameplay footage, as it was a genuine joy to see the amount of details in the level design at my own pace. There was a big buzz around that level when journalists were framing it as an unwanted shocking sexual assault scene in a game about senseless violence and cartoonish gore. The game's meta commentary about sequels and how that kind of scene is used in horror movies for upping the shock value was lost on me too, but we can't be expected to get the point of a moment in media the first time. The presentation in most cases for this is frankly overblown and lasts around 3 seconds, a pair of pixellated buttcheeks over a woman I didn't even know the name of yet wasn't going to put me in a catatonic state, but a trigger warning  asking a player if they want to be spared from that kind of scene before the start of the game is always a worthy inclusion.

Even today the first 5 levels of Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number are the perfect representation of the rest of the game: big sprawling detailed areas, a diversity in those locations, playstyles associated with named characters, and an actual commentary on violent video game protagonists.

As mentioned before, I was very much looking forward to the game's release and getting around to playing it. I had gone cold turkey on playing the previous installment, wishing to discover the gameplay anew and making my patience feel like a reward when I got around to playing it.

I wrote “named characters” because giving them a name makes them more real, part of the world, with motivations unique to them. Not just an avatar the player can slip into and mirror back what the little amount of pixels with a human shape might be beginning to feel when committing violent acts. That also means there are more stories that come bundled together, they're more present than ever and harder to ignore for a player who wants to skip to the next action set. The arcade game format of the first game alongside its simplicity is lost, but more story is what I wanted in the sequel, so I can't complain.

Playstyles and characters were a joy to discover and experiment with these characters comprise of:

The Fans, covered in colourful war paint with their individual animal masks and expertise, all set out to go on a vigilante murder spree, chainsaws and guns in hand.

Manny Pardo, the detective whose motives remain unclear, with a more gun oriented gameplay.

Evan Wright, the writer with the one with the most unusual playstyle of the lot, seeing as he tries to do non-lethal takedowns of people he chooses himself to be around needlessly putting him and his family in danger in pursuit of the truth behind the first game's phone calls. This unique gameplay can be made into the default one by going too far on ground executions, making him go into a blind rage and seeing red.

The Soldier, limited to a single gun of your choosing whose ammunition must be replenished through carefully placed boxes throughout the level and an army knife for close range combat.

The Mafia, comprising of the Son of the former leader of the Russian mafia and his Henchman. The former wanting to reinstate the dominance of the Russian mafia after the Colombian cartel took over and the latter wishing to break free of this cycle. The Son has the same array of skills as the Fans, exception made of the chainsaw and gun combo, making him a reckless one man army, and a cool parallel between the Russian mafia and the vigilantes in animal masks.

And the last playstyle, what feels like the default way to play the game, is the one found in the first game. Simultaneously not making you feel contrived to play a certain way, but not making you feel overpowered either. It's shared between a handful of characters in the game: the Henchman , the Rat, the Pig Butcher, and the Snake. (although the latter is able to play in a fists only way with one of his masks)

Guns only, dodge rolling, fists only, a chainsaw and gun at the same time, double MP5s, and even non-lethal gameplay help to define everybody really well, beyond words and appearances.

Getting to explore levels that are massive and open was the biggest game changer, being tunnel visioned and sticking to melee weapons became a death sentence for some levels with frustration quickly rising. I remember reading the advice that guns made too much noise in Hotline Miami, the result was sticking to a melee weapon and executing fallen enemies; which rewarded you with more immediate points than firing with the different array of guns, but rising combo counters and being wary of cover definitely became the name of the game in the sequel, for better or worse.

Gone were the collection of small colourful appartement buildings, what felt like cardboard boxes with “Miami, Florida” scrawled in felt tip pen on them; instead we have unique looking buildings, that feel inhabited, grubby at times, and more unwelcome than ever for a gunfight. More windows, and getting shot from offscreen, and enemies for which you have to use a specific kind of weapons on to progress through the level, all at the same time.

Multitasking is asked from the player, being aware of the enemies in your surroundings along with the abilities and limitations of the character you are playing. Not to mention hard mode which you unlock after finishing the game for the first time, with more reaction time and ammunition conservation playing a bigger role by then. Hotline Miami's puzzle side could expand to its full potential and the developers have truly made a better game. More thought, more gameplay, more amazing music tracks from a variety of indie musicians, and more story was put into Wrong Number, it was everything I was hoping for and I wasn't disappointed by the game at all... At first.

This isn't going to relate to a few people, but I try to finish games as fast as I can. Not speedrun them mind you, I like playing games too much for that, but finish it from beginning to end in a timely fashion. In the past, my interest dropped very fast for games that require time, knowledge of all its controls, or reflexes to beat and will get frustrated if I can't get back into the groove of it after a few months of not playing it. I tend to start over because I've either lost track of the story or of the rhythm of later chapters. On top of that, I didn't want to be spoiled accidentally or put it off too long. I remember finishing Hotline Miami's main story in one sitting only coming back the next day to finish the Biker levels, why not do it with Wrong Number?

To this day, I regret playing Hotline Miami 2 in one sitting. After 3 hours without a break, I had a slight headache, by the time I had finished the game 6 hours later, I had a migraine. By playing it the way I had, I'd successfully completed the game, but gotten a feeling of disgust by the end of it. I've had hangovers that felt better.

On a side note, that day I got a call from a classmate who wanted my opinion on the direction of his end of the year comic presentation was going. He came round when I was in the middle of Deathwish, on the level with Corey, what felt like the ultimate test of skill at the time. And I definitely gave vibes that I wanted to get back into the action, despite taking the time to answer questions and discuss his comic project (if you're reading this Jean, I'm really sorry, come round for tea sometime!). Time feels very fuzzy for this, as I seem to remember spending too much time on that stage, listening to the track Roller Mobster by Carpenter Brut over and over and slowly growing to resent it. I've gotten better since then and like the song just fine now, but I still have trouble with that level.

The assault on the Russian Mafia's headquarter by the Fans is a 4 floor action packed romp, where they all have their own floor for themselves and aim to meet each other on the roof of the building. Things don't go as planned for reasons that weren't explained immediately. Only after Deathwish do we realise that the Fans we had played as had fallen in battle one by one and died during their siege as we were playing the next floor. Now, characters whose gameplay were unique at that point got killed offscreen, with one onscreen by the police, rightfully so as they had only themselves to blame for their demise. I felt drained by the time I had come to what I thought was the end of the game. It turned out that it was the midpoint of the whole story. A pit in my stomach was slowly forming: there was going to be more after all this?

More of everything is both a blessing and a curse, more music leaves room for tracks I'll have a hard time liking, more violence means I'll slowly be apathetic to the character's struggles, and more characters is forgetting the levels that features only one of them, wondering why they were even there in the first place and if they could have been cut in favour of a smaller cast with their unique gameplay. Excitement had passed and doubt had settled in: character driven stories are what I love most of all and the cast was slowly thinning down. Those who had died weren't seen again in the story, was it going to keep my interest? I certainly expected it to.

I finally took a break to have dinner and a stretch before coming back to continue Casualties, the final level featuring the Soldier. The stages between that one and Deathwish are wonderful, great even, but they felt as thought they don't fit into the main story, I remember later trying to rearrange all the levels, keeping in mind which levels concluded each chapters and found that everything fitted really well together as it did. I was still getting over the previous levels so maybe I wasn't enjoying them as much as I should at the time.

I'm going to be honest when I say I forget the Soldier is in the game every time. An actual wartime setting, in an alien looking Hawaii none the less, with a gameplay that's really enjoyable and prepared me for hard mode's ammunition conservation gameplay very well should be memorable. It may be due to the fact that his inclusion was to give a background to the protagonist of Hotline Miami and give the origins of the secret organisation behind the phone calls of the first game, with parallels to mission euphemisms over walkie talkies, commando style hits, and sense of loss to a cycle of violence that doesn't care for its victims or its players. The character's final moments didn't bite as hard this time, even though that one felt the most undeserved out of the whole cast.

The next four levels featuring Richter the Rat are some of the best I've experienced, by that point we were focusing on a new character we'd met in the previous game and of which I didn't think much of at the time. Seeing him was an unexpected surprise for me, a really good one because of all its touching cutscenes and tight levels. Even in his last chapter, with the track Le Perv by Carpenter Brut, reminiscent of Deathwish's nauseating track, was honestly a joy to play through, despite the difficulty. It also was a nice conclusion for the Writer's story, who instigates the Rat's recollection of the events, with a final choice between continuing the book about the vigilante group and its mysterious phone calls or reconnecting with his estranged family while there is still time and discontinuing the cycle of violence, neither choice affects the outcome of the finale, but there is definitely an obvious conclusion in there, for me at least.

Nowadays, I know all the elements and numerous characters were included in Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number so that everything would be done in one game. Everything Dennaton wanted to experiment with, characters that tied different storylines together and both made sense of the first game and concluded its story for good. Hotline Miami didn't have room for flamethrowers or more storylines with other operators, it was an overarching story for the player, to be in the shoes of a hitman in an animal mask, with room to interpret the story for ourselves. The sequel doesn't stand on its own from a narrative sense: I'd be utterly confused by some of the stories of Hotline Miami 2 if I hadn't played the first game, since everything stems from the events of Hotline Miami. The result is that it all feels very heavy to take in all at once.

I really didn't care for Jacket's background, or why he did anything in the first game. He doesn't have a name, or a voice, or a personality, he's really boring in a story sense, but he's the perfect game protagonist. If he can be anything you want him to be, there's no room to dislike him, aside for his violent actions which he doesn't justify to himself in any way, he just does as he is told, like the soldier he once was. We feel what he feels during the violent missions, the sense that we get better and better at the game, the character doesn't improve, as there's no character to improve, we as the player are improving level by level.

So when the sequel explained that he was a veteran that fought in a war we never get the context for or care about, my first thought was that “he was just Rambo”. I hadn't watched Rambo at the time and only ever saw that character in old Atari games where you kill nameless soldiers. He'd always seemed like the generic action movie soldier that looks cool shooting away at his enemies. But since then, I've sat down to watch the first Rambo and saw the tale about young man coming back from war without education, aside from how to kill, back to a country that doesn't need him, and even despises him. It's an incredibly sad thing to watch a character broken by committing and being the victim of violence only to be rejected by the society they served.

The personal interpretations about Jacket is one of the best parts of Hotline Miami, as much as its gameplay, graphics, and music. Wrong Number builds upon that foundation by taking multiple interpretations of what Jacket could be and extends it to the cast of the sequel: he could be a jingoist with a burning hate for Russians (Jake the Snake) just as much as he could be scared for his life and willing to protect a person he loves (Richter the Rat). He's the now unwanted soldier of a war that is long lost (the Fans) just as much as he is the patriot in service of a minority struggling for his rightful place in a hostile environment (the Son). He's also a serial killer in an animal mask (the Pig Butcher) just as much as he is a killer with his own motives that don't have to be revealed to the player (Manny Pardo the Detective). And Biker’s search for answers is mirrored by the Writer, it was only fate that they would eventually meet up.

After the levels with Richter, we have the final 5 levels featuring another one of my favourite characters: the Son. He's the de facto leader of the Russian mafia, a scarred one man army with what feels like the strongest desire of the cast of characters: taking back Miami from the Colombian cartel, the new organised crime network in charge. His Father, the final antagonist of Hotline Miami, felt like a strong businessman with the plan of gaining power over the city through assimilation: striking a deal between the Colombians and their cocaine distribution, owning methadone clinics for the new addicts to heroin and cocaine, and gaining the favour of local politicians. The Son is nothing like that. He has a more aggressive show of power and control, separating himself from organically made drugs in favor for more potent artificial ones produced locally and actively killing his competition through violence, being in a revolution similar to the masked vigilantes in an attempt to undo the damage caused by Jacket in the first game.

As an aside, Manny Pardo has his final level in the middle, throughout the game we are teased with his personal investigation, the one of a serial killer called the Miami Mutilator, separate from the main plot of the game. It all comes to a head in his last level when it's revealed that he is the one behind the murders of the Mutilator, in an attempt to overshadow the media's attention of the masked vigilantes. The interpretation I developed over time was that his story arc was a meta commentary on sequels having their own story and an inevitable lack of interest from fans of the first game, curious instead about a continuation of the first game's narrative.

I remember originally thinking from the game's trailer that Manny Pardo was Jacket and getting really curious about how the story was going to go about, until I realised that he was in fact another character with his own motives and losing interest almost immediately in favour of the Fans revealed alongside him in the video. When it emerged that he was a detective, it seemed immediately more interesting than Jacket ever was, that it would be a character in search of answers, similar to the likes of Biker from the first game. The expectation was subverted, as it turns out that he has more current things to worry about and masked vigilantes are a thing of the past, crime doesn't stop happening and random violence is the norm in the world of Hotline Miami.

After the Detective's final level, we have what has to be one of the hardest challenges of the game: the final showdown between the Son and the Colombian cartel's Boss in his sprawling villa. Even after having been playing the game for almost 8 continuous hours, it really felt like what the game was leading us up to, from random street thugs to the drug army in Miami. And yet, even when the level was all said and done, there was yet another level after that. We are back to what felt like the finale a few hours ago: Deathwish, only this time it's the Son's side of the story, overdosing on his own artificial drugs and going on a overcoloured haze of hallucinatory violence.

Apocalypse is the name of that level, and it's a beautiful boss rush, where all the Fans are turned into monstrous animal shaped fever dreams that the Son has set himself out to destroy in his terrible drug trip, alongside his own men, turned into unrecognisable demons. It all leads to the rooftop, where a rainbow bridge invites us off into the void as the game's credits show up on the screen. The credits fade in favour of the rest of the cast, alive and unperturbed by the finale we as the player went through, only to realise that events offscreen trigger the end of the world, nuclear bombs vaporise them all and...

I didn't get it.

It took a good night's sleep and a bit of thinking to understand what Hotline Miami 2:Wrong Number was about: deconstructing Hotline Miami. The first game's conclusion had a hopeful tone to it, with mocking comments by the developer's stand-ins if we came back looking for more answers by playing Biker's additional levels, with actual answers that feel forced if you actually manage to find all the clues within the game. The sequel ends the world with nuclear clouds and if we start a new game, we get a new introduction at the start of the game essentially asking: “why are you back?”. There were no more answers the game could provide.

Violence is at the core of both of the games and it never seemed to stop. Hotline Miami left us wanting more, Hotline Miami 2 left us with the most violent thing known to humanity. I remember thinking that it was a deus ex machina ending, an answer to problems that seemed unsolvable. But inside the game there’s all this rising tension, focusing so much on the characters distracted me from the fact that it was culminating towards the end of the world. All the characters were trying to solve all their problems through violence, but the world wasn't going to get better through those methods. It was the only conclusion a game like that could have and I love it more than ever.

I cannot thank Dennaton enough for the incredible time I had and keep coming back to with Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number. It has made me explore media I never would have discovered otherwise and draw things I never imagined I would come to draw. Happy 3rd anniversary to an incredible game, and I look forward to the future.

[mst3kproject]

Frankenstein meets the Space Monster

What have we here?  Marylin Hanold from The Brain that Wouldn't Die and James Karen from Being from Another Planet in a stupid alien invasion movie that doesn't actually have Frankenstein (the doctor or the monster) in it?  Sounds like MST3K to me.

NASA has plans for advanced space exploration without risking any more lives: they've invented a robot astronaut, designated Colonel Frank Saunders, to do all the dangerous stuff!  On Saunders' first mission, he is shot down by a ship from Mars and lands in Puerto Rico.  The Martians also land, looking to finish the job they started, and their weapons damage Saunders' positronic brain, leading him to go on a berserk rampage!  Meanwhile, the Martians are afraid that NASA is aware of them now, and accordingly step up their invasion plans.  A recent nuclear war has left Mars uninhabitable, and the Princess is currently the last woman on the planet.  In order to survive, they must get breeding stock from Earth!

Yep, it's Mars Needs Women meets The Astro-Zombies! The closest thing the movie has to Frankenstein is a brief and totally useless remark from one of the scientists about Saunders' malfunctioning state: “you mean he'll become some kind of... Frankenstein?”  Frankenstein's monster normally has connotations of something pieced together from bits, whereas Saunders at this point has been broken down from a whole, so I don't see how it's equivalent.  I think they only put the line in so they could call the movie Frankenstein meets the Space Monster. There is a space monster in the movie, which the Martians have apparently brought along to punish disobedient crewmen by eating them.  It's... you know what?  I'll get back to the space monster.

The summary makes it sound like there's a lot going on in this movie, but when I think back to what I actually saw in it, I'm pretty sure Frankenstein meets the Space Monster is mostly montages.  The first one is characters driving to a press conference at Cape Kennedy, past all kinds of space-themed diners and motels in the town.  This one is kind of cool, as it gives an impression of what living there would have been like during the space race, with the whole population caught up in it.  Then there's a montage of preparing for launch.  Then the two scientists drive around San Juan to another montage.  The troops are called in, with a montage.  Jets are scrambled in a montange.  Is anybody counting? Because that's five montages in a seventy-five minute movie, and I don't think that was all of them.

You will probably not be surprised to learn that these montages are mostly made of stock footage.  The massive military force mobilized against the Martians is pretty much entirely stock footage, because there's no way this movie could have afforded helicopters and tanks. Assorted space launches and the view from the Martian ship in orbit are provided by stock rocket footage we've all seen before, much of it considerably lower-quality than the stuff filmed for the movie. The Cape Kennedy footage is probably all stock, as is all the aerial footage (of which there is a surprising amount).  I can imagine Joel and the Bots paying tribute to this by mustering stock footage to make it look like the SOL is in command of a huge army – the Martians trying to invade are convinced by it and run off.

A movie designed around the available stock footage is not going to be a masterpiece, and the storyline of Frankenstein meets the Space Monster is pretty messy.  There are times when it almost feels like they're trying to make two different movies at once: the one about the out-of-control robot astronaut, and the one about the Martian invasion.  The movies overlap at several points, but characters from the Robot movie don't actually interact with characters from the Martian movie until around fifty minutes in, when the female scientist Dr. Karen Grant is captured and interrogated by the Martians.  Because so much of the preceding time has been spent on setups and montages, we feel like the story is only just getting started at this point, and it's something of a shock to find things building to the climax only minutes later.

Where no stock footage was available, or where the characters needed to be in the same shot as something fantastical, the movie had to come up with special effects, and these are mostly pretty sorry.  The Martians, typified by the Princess' advisor Dr. Nadir, look like Dr. Evil in Vulcan ears.  Keeping helmets on them most of them (and covering the Princess' head with her silly pseudo-Egyptian headdress-tiara-thing) saved money on bald wigs.  We do see some exposed circuitry on Saunders as he wanders the countryside, but the closer we look, the more obviously it's just a couple of computer parts stuck in bad burn makeup.  His glowing eye is particularly pathetic.  The Martian saucer is a geodesic dome made of cardboard, and then there's the titular Space Monster, which looks kind of like Trumpy as the Colossal Beast.  It's all very cheap and shoddy, but usually in a funny sort of way.

There actually is one quite interesting idea in Frankenstein meets the Space Monster, and that's in the character – or not quite a character – of Frank Saunders and his relationship of sorts with his creators, Dr. Karen Grant and Dr. Adam Steele.  Saunders is designed to be the perfect astronaut, both in functionality and for PR purposes.  The personality he shows at the press conference is that of the clean-cut, all-American overachiever, accomplished but humble, trusting in his superiors to make the right decisions.  Although Steele chides Grant for talking about Saunders as if he is a person, it is clear that both of them are very attached to him emotionally as well as in their work.  Grant cannot help anthropomorphizing him even when she is told not to, and Steele refuses to abandon him even when it would be easier to do so.

Saunders is also very attached to them. We are told that he is wandering around Puerto Rico with his memory destroyed, lashing out because he does not know what else to do – the first human-shaped being he encountered after landing attacked him, so he believes he must defend himself.  When he encounters Grant and Steele in the cave, however, he recognizes them as people he must take orders from.  When he finds Grant captive on board the Martian ship, he makes a decision to save her without being given any orders at all.  In fact, Grant must stop him from saving her and leaving the other women behind!  Some form of emotional bond clearly exists on both sides, here.

It would be fair to call Saunders a major protagonist of this movie.  We are invited to like him right away when we meet him at the press conference, and later to sympathize with him both in his confused wanderings and through the bond he shares with his 'parents'.  He selflessly rescues the captured women and destroys the saucer, saving the world at the cost of his own life.  I really wish the movie treated him more as a character and less as a plot device.  Does he know what he is, or does he believe what he told the reporters, that he's an Air Force test pilot?  Does he believe, as is somewhat implied, that he is in love with Dr. Grant?  What is he thinking upon finding himself in Puerto Rico with amnesia?  Maybe I'm the one anthropomorphizing him now... I wish I could tell if the movie wants me to do that.

If there really are two movies, perhaps with their scripts crossbred in order to make one long story out of two that fell short of feature length, then the Berserk Robot Astronaut one is by far the better. The Martian Invasion one is basically here to show us women in bikinis being abducted by aliens, where they are laid out on a table and covered with a piece of somebody's wedding dress to be 'electronically purified', whatever that means.  There are a couple in there that the Princess doesn't like and I think she orders them disintegrated.  A scene in which the Princess 'inspects' the first captive is all about the objectification of this woman, conveniently blamed on another woman.

The most interesting thing in this movie is the relationship between the Princess (according to the credits her name is Marcuzan, but it is never used) and her advisor, Dr. Nadir.  Nadir often seems to believe he's calling the shots, and he certainly has a much wider knowledge base than the Princess – but every so often she puts him in his place and does something he does not approve of, and when this happens the other Martians obey her without question.  She does ask questions when she doesn't understand something, but she makes her own decisions rather than relying on Nadir to do things for her.  Her people clearly have great respect for her, and it's somewhat impressive that the idea of her as 'breeding stock' for the Martian race never even comes up.  She can't sit around having babies – she has a civilization to rule! – and it's quite clear that none of her subjects would dare think of forcing her.

As usual in crummy movies, these good ideas are at best a very minor part of the movie they appear in.  The main narrative chugs away with its bikini babes and stock footage, wasting our time with montages and carefully avoiding anything that might make the audience think. The result is a mess that takes forever to get started, but there's just enough amusement here to be worth a watch.  It would definitely make for a classic episode, and since it's widescreen, maybe we'll see it in Season 12.