#it made me feel so ashamed that i stopped using it and only considered buying another one for christmas 2021
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devilmeows · 1 year ago
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i ordered a shower chair the other day and it arrived two days early and ough. Ough. oh i love my shower chair so much
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maverickscorner · 4 months ago
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Faber suae fortunae
Or Maider's love story towards freedom.
Chapter 10
Tenax watched Maider write, captivated.
Although he was mostly illiterate, and secretly very ashamed of it, he understood that it wasn’t the Latin alphabet.
-What language is that?
-Aramaic- Maider replied. -It was the language I used to speak with my father and my adoptive family. It’s easier to communicate with them this way.
-And also more discreet- Tenax observed.
She smiled at him.
-Not that I’m revealing any great secrets. I’m just telling them that I’m well and safe. That I’m free, in short.
-Got it. And in how many languages do you know to read and write?
-Four, but I’m fluent only in Aramaic and Latin. The others… let’s say I get by.
-That’s still quite a number.
-Yeah. You’re looking at a girl who received an aristocratic education.
Tenax chuckled.
-The best one around.
-You can bet on it.
Maider finished writing. She had noticed how Tenax was watching her, interested, and had guessed that he didn’t know how to read or write. Although they had grown quite close, she still didn’t feel ready to explore parts of him that Tenax preferred to keep hidden. She wanted to discover every side of him, but in due time. She, with her impulsive character, would force herself to be extremely patient with him. She cared for him. Tenax deserved it.
Maider let the ink dry. Then she rolled up the parchment, tied it with a string, and handed it to Tenax.
-The destination is the Ben-Hur house in Jerusalem, on Temple Street.
-Alright. We’ll head to the market soon; we’ll meet Porthos there.
Maider looked surprised.
-The market? Isn’t today a holiday?
Tenax realized he had made a mistake. He was used to making decisions without considering anyone or anything. But now there was Maider, and he cared about her. Maider had a decision-making power, a voice, and even the ability to change his decisions.
"Way too much power, but I can’t do anything about it".
-Yes, you’re right. But at Nundinae, in the heart of Rome, there’s also the most important market of the city. People from all over the empire come to sell everything: from food to tools to clothes...
-Hold on, did you say clothes?
Tenax stopped. He nodded.
-Yes, clothes. There are…
Maider’s eyes lit up. Tenax couldn’t even finish the sentence before she burst out like a flood:
-Oh, please, let’s absolutely go! I’ve saved up some money from working at the tavern, and I’d really love to buy a new dress! Claudia was so kind to lend me her old ones, but in Jerusalem I had a whole wardrobe of my own, and here I only have two or three used dresses, and... Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful, but...
Tenax stood up, walked around the table, and stood beside her, gently placing his hands on her cheeks.
-Maider?
-Yes?- she said, captivated.
-I understand, it’s all fine. We’ll go buy some new clothes. You don’t need to overwhelm me with words every time. I care about you. I like seeing you happy. Alright?
She nodded. She hugged him gratefully.
-Thank you, Tenax. I like seeing you happy too, for the record.
Tenax pulled back a little to meet her gaze. They kissed.
-When I’m with you, I get pretty close to it- he confessed -But at the market, we’ll need to be very discreet. No one knows you’re free, nor that there’s something between us. I’m a very... controversial figure, sometimes despised. I care too much about you to let someone hurt you because of me.
-It won’t happen- Maider said -We’ll be discreet. I’ll be discreet. We’ll pretend I’m still your property.
-So be it. Go get changed, then. We’re leaving in ten minutes.
-Alright, my lord and master...- she said, bowing to him with a wink.
Tenax blushed but hid it, watching her slip out of his embrace and head towards her room.
He shook his head.
"You’ll be my undoing".
And he couldn’t be happier about it.
***
The Nundinae market was truly immense.
Maider was immediately captivated, bouncing from one stall to another with enthusiasm. The vendors, charmed by her exuberance, offered her samples of various foods or let her feel how soft the fabric of dresses was or how smooth the metal surface of various tools was.
Tenax watched her with a smile he couldn’t erase, even though he knew it would be more convenient to do so.
He only stopped smiling when he saw people on the street recognizing Maider.
-Hey, look, it’s Maider!
-Yeah, it’s her!
-It's the girl with the most beautiful voice in Rome!
-The one who sings at Tenax’s tavern!
Tenax sighed. Maider’s popularity was growing visibly. It wasn’t that he wanted to keep her chained to him, but he cared about her and worried for her. The word “fame” didn’t necessarily align with “safety.” He had seen it with Scorpus and with himself.
He saw Maider approaching him with her usual smile, and his mind lightened immediately.
-Tenax! That stall has some beautiful pans. You have to come see them; I’m sure Claudia would love them!
-Oh, yes!- said Claudia, joining them with shopping bags in hand. -Claudia would absolutely love them!
Tenax rolled his eyes. He took a small pouch of sesterces from his belt and handed it to the women.
-Alright. Just don’t spend it all, okay?
Claudia and Maider struggled to contain their excitement and, arm in arm, headed for the stall.
***
In the center of the market, there was a square with several stalls dedicated to food. People drank and ate while seated at wooden tables. In one corner, a small group was playing rhythmic music.
Before Tenax could stop her, Maider recognized Reilo among the group and ran to him.
-Reilo!- she exclaimed.
The young man smiled at her from afar and waved. The two greeted each other warmly. Tenax stayed at a distance, keeping an eye on the situation. From time to time, someone would acknowledge him, bowing their head and murmuring "Aedile Ludi". He responded with a polite nod, but nothing more. He had already given Maider’s letter to Porthos, asking for the utmost discretion.
The group stopped playing; Reilo and Maider spoke with the other musicians, discussing something unknown to Tenax. He grew nervous.
“I've never known a girl more stubborn than you, Maider...” he thought. He had told her to be careful, and she...
-Good morning, citizens of Rome!- Tenax heard her saying from the musicians’ platform -How about having a little fun?
Everyone turned towards her. Many recognized her and applauded.
Maider counted to four, then the group started playing a particularly rhythmic tune. She clapped her hands, and the crowd followed. Many stood up.
Maider began to sing.
-My baby wants a tunic, she’s been asking me all night long...!
Tenax’s eyes widened. He looked around as the song continued. People started dancing.
-One, here comes the two to the three to the four...!
Tenax scanned the area. The praetorians at the edges of the square watched the crowd without concern, chatting amongst themselves and occasionally glancing at Maider. Tenax clenched his fists.
-Everybody at the bar getting tipsy!
The crowd was having the time of their lives. People danced together, happy and carefree, to the infectious rhythm of the music. This was Maider’s magic.
Tenax relaxed his muscles, trying to enjoy the moment. He was probably worrying too much, but he would have to talk to Maider seriously after the performance. He always became incredibly nervous when he couldn't keep the situation under control, and it was time to tell her, because sometimes, perhaps due to the carefree nature of her personality, she acted quite wild.
And yet, he couldn't be too angry with her for it. He cared about her mostly because she was different.
Even though her difference, in a city like Rome, could be very dangerous.
***
Further back, on the opposite side of the square, a group of Jewish slaves watched Maider with disgust.
-It’s her- one of them said -The girl from the Hur household who now performs for these damn Romans.
-Another woman of our people prostituting herself for the favor of the oppressors- the eldest said.
-And worse, she sings and plays songs from our folk tradition, but translates them into Latin!
-What should we do, then?- asked another.
The old man seemed to think for a moment.
-She must be eliminated- he said -Or God will pour His wrath upon us.
The other men nodded, and the group withdrew into the shadows.
***
Hi everyone! It's Eli. Things are starting to happen! Hope you like this new chapter. Let me know in the comments what you think. Hugs and kisses ❤️
P.S. This is the songs Maider sings ☺️
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haggishlyhagging · 6 months ago
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In Civilization, women are objectified and treated as property—that is, owned to some degree—more than men. That doesn't change with "sex-positive feminism." The sex-positive idea is that women can gain some degree of control by objectifying themselves. Women remain objects, but if we play it right, the reasoning goes, we can partake in more of the profits of our exploitation.
Women are also human beings, with minds, ideas, desires, feelings, points of view, and consciousness. These are what make us alive, and that life is diminished by objectification.
I am less fully human when seen as an object by others, but I am even more troubled by my own participation in objectifying myself. I actively reduced my own humanity. The loss of my libido was only one measurable result. I was not only a victim of my commodification, but also a perpetrator.
Was I supposed to save myself for Love? I'd already been in love, several times, and my lovers imploded and left me. Men found me "too intense." No one wanted my love, not even me. The idea of men loving me for who I actually was, was long gone. No one wanted my soul, but some wanted my body, which was thin at last, and with makeup, a wig, and high heels was literally a hot commodity.
I was well aware I was supposed to be cautious, and took precautions; I only responded to solicitations specifying "no nudity" and "no sex" (both of which turned out to be laughable, and are tactics still used to this day to recruit young, vulnerable women). I was also aware that I was supposed to feel ashamed. I spent a lot of time considering shame, and rejecting it: I wasn't harming anyone (ha!), my choices were informed, my eyes were open. Sex was nothing to be ashamed of. Objectifying my own body was nothing to be ashamed of: all the strippers, prostitutes, and porn models/directors who spoke at SESI made that clear. It was work, it was art, it was expression. No shame in objectification: we are all objects, we live in a material world. Nothing wrong with exchange for money, either; we exchange all kinds of goods and services for money, why are bodies and sex any different?
Now-me knows sex is different, and bodies are not commodities. Then-me simply wouldn't have believed it. The body is sacred? Nothing is sacred in this world. Was I supposed to just cloister myself, be abstinent until Mr. Right came along? There is no Mr. Right, there was no one who would understand and respect and love me the way I needed to be loved, and time was ticking away while my very temporal body was at its peak of beauty and my hormones were screaming "fuck! fuck! fuck!"
Radical feminism might have helped me, but at the time I didn't know it existed. Dworkin was a dirty word. Plus, my craving for sex with men made it impossible for me to see men as they are, to admit how widespread misogyny really is.
Heterosexuality: it's a hell of a drug.
A hot body is often the biggest asset many young women have. We are lucky if we have hot, conventionally attractive bodies. All my years developing my mind and talents meant nothing compared to my brief moment of hot-boddedness. Men who were never impressed by my art would fall over themselves to buy me drinks and otherwise attend to me when I went out in a wig and makeup. I actually felt sorry for these men, so helplessly conditioned they were to respond to stupid gender cues, their feeble minds taken over by mediated programming. Do I pity them still? As much as I pity anyone who surrenders personal responsibility and critical thinking in favor of unexamined social programming. Such people are pathetic—and authoritarian, dangerous enablers.
For about a year, I enabled them myself, by dressing up as the male idea of a sexy woman: drag.
-Nina Paley, “My Sex-Positive Memoirs: How I Learned to Stop Drinking Kool-Aid and Start Judging” in Spinning And Weaving: Radical Feminism for the 21st Century
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katieslittlethoughts · 2 years ago
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musings from a recovering anxiously attached American abroad
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Well, in a manner that is oh so typical to myself, I wrote two posts and have neglected to write any more. I'm learning that this habit of picking up and betraying hobbies, is not one that I should be ashamed of, but rather accept and make use of. I've noticed that often it is the self-contempt of yet another hobby I've left aside that stops me from picking it up again, so rather than letting the crippling self-hatred set in, I've decided to make the conscious decision to be understanding and patience with myself.
Now, for the content that I'm sure people are actually interesting in: what Katie has been up to abroad! Since January I've been up to a lot (mainly in the 3rd and 5th arrondissement). I've not been experiencing life abroad the way I've heard from many others, that is traveling abroad every weekend. In full honesty, I've only traveled to two other places: London and Madrid (which were both during spring break). A quick word on that, I've found that staying in Paris has been extremely conducive to my own self-development. I've been able to experience truly living in a city, rather than it feeling like a glorified vacation (though I do still find myself pinching myself every day).
As I've already hinted, the 3rd and 5th arrondissement have thus far, been my favorite, with that I'm sure you can also add in the 4th and 6th, but those general areas have been shining stars. The 3rd and 4th have such a vivid community. My favorite church, St.-Gervais-St.-Protais, is in the third arrondissement, as well as my favorite thrift stores. I've always been someone who looked at those cool and stylish people in the streets and wondered how they did that, well my friends, I've learned the answer to that is thrift stores. I've yet to buy anything from a fast fashion store during my time in Paris because the thrifting scene is so vibrant and expansive. However, I will say that the thrift scene in Madrid was magnificent.
The fifth arrondissement, or more so, the Latin Quarter, which from a socal native, is such a misleading name! I heard Latin Quarter and immediately thought there'd be a Latin community, but when the French named the Latin Quarter they were actually referring to actual latin. Nevertheless, the Latin Quarter has amazing bookstores, including my favorite: San Francisco Book Company.
Overall, I've found that my french has not progressed nearly as much as I'd hope. Somehow the French hear my terrible french with the American accent and immediately decide to switch. I'll be honest, I understand that it may be easier for english speakers to just speak english, but it can be discouraging. Just the other day, I spoke in all French to a waiter at a restaurant only to get handed an english menu, truly nothing more humbling. However, while these experiences have been discouraging, I don't necessarily view the French, or rather, Parisians in a bad light because I do think that these experiences are character building. These experiences have, in my experiences, not felt super personal and really, it's helped me self-sooth and have a more innate and secure self confidence.
I've been so grateful for my experience in Paris so far and have found myself able to heal in ways that I didn't think was truly possible. Further, I've been rethinking the ways that I consider relationships, specifically friendships. I've unfortunately had some bad habits when it comes to friendships and being in a city where you can do so many things alone had made it possible for me to take a step back from some relationships and prioritize myself.
With that being said, I plan to be more diligent with my updates because I know I'll look back fondly on these memories.
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mr2swap · 2 years ago
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Take away the last that he has left
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When I started trading body parts with my ex best friend Ryan I couldn’t stop. It all started when I turned 17 and my father gave me a family heirloom, it was a small wooden box with some engraved figures of Asian descent where my family comes from.
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I decided to talk to Ryan the next day, we were both sitting relaxing facing each other on my bed and facing me in the chair in front of my computer. When I told Ryan about the relic he suggested that we sell the box at a pawn shop and that he buy a car with the money so I could get a girl to fuck with and lose my virginity.
For a moment consider Ryan's words because he was absolutely right I was still a virgin, During all my friendship with Ryan I was always jealous of him, he was always popular and good with girls instead I was just a chubby Asian nerd with glasses, I really wanted to look a little more like him.
At that moment we both touched the box at the same time, and we both felt that a slight electric current ran through our bodies, but especially I could feel something growing between my legs, Ryan, as extroverted as ever, did not hesitate to find out what the strange movements were. They came from his cock, he stood up and took out his cock with his hands and to their surprises something supernatural was happening, what a minute ago was Ryan's huge cock reduced its size and changed its shape until it became an exact copy of my pathetic cock.
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- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME ?! WHY DOES MY DICK LOOK SO DIMINUTE? - He started to make a scandal that was heard throughout my house and thank God my parents were not at home to hear all the curses that Ryan said before completely venting.
He could notice how a huge bulge grew in my shorts as he finished cursing a tiny cock, without any kind of delicacy or prior warning he put his hands on my shorts and lowered them to my knees to reveal my new and glorious cock, I just barely and I could believe that this was my cock, the shape, the color, the size, the hair, everything was completely different.
It was obvious what had happened to us, Ryan and I had traded our cocks for the power of my family heirloom, we spent the entire afternoon experimenting with the powers of the box and discovered that we could exchange any part of our bodies.
It all started with a small favor -Dude, do you think you can lend me your muscles? I just need them to have a little more confidence in me and to be able to fuck a girl! - He agreed without hesitation, after all he was my best friend and he felt sorry for me and how pathetic I was.
When we both touched the snare and after wishing in my mind "I wish my body was more like Ryan's" my body started to heat up at the same time as my muscles started to grow and the extra fat covering my body was transferred to the body of Ryan, I could feel the power and arrogance growing in me as soon as I saw myself in the mirror, it was like seeing the version of myself that I always wanted to be, there was only one problem, it was my face, it did not fit with my body, but everything others looked and felt great.
We exchanged our clothes, I slowly took off my shirt to give it to him, Ryan seemed a bit ashamed of his new body he was used to showing off his muscles whenever he could, but now he was rather flabby and with pale skin except for his expensive.
He made me swear that he would return his body as soon as he found a girl to fuck, even though he hadn't given me his cock I felt much more confident and virile. When everything was ready, I left his house and went directly to the mall where there were a lot of girls willing for me to take them to bed, now they were more attractive, but there was one thing that I did not count on ...
- Damn bitch! How dare you insult me ​​like that ?! who does he think he is? - I was again with Ryan in my room, I was telling him how the bitch Stella humiliated me just before she slept with me, she rejected me as soon as I lowered my pants and revealed my tiny cock, she started laughing while getting dressed again - "there is no way you have a chance with me - so I asked Ryan once more to do me a favor -" I need your cock "- after begging him for a long time he agreed to lend me his cock to lose my virginity.
That was about a week ago and since then I have not returned any of his parts, despite having fucked so many girls that I lost count Ryan has become more and more annoying.
when are you going to give me my dick back?
Dude! my parents asked me what happened with my voice and I don't know what to say
Answer me, please! I haven't fucked for days I really need my body back
Today I met him again at my house not to give him back his body but on the contrary to take away the last that he has left, his face will force him to give me his face by force it is not as if he could oppose me now after all I have his muscles and he's just a fucking virgin nerd now.
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I had previously published a preview of this story here on Tumblr and my Patreon subscribers have been able to read it in its entirety for a few months, if you like this story and want to see more of my stories you can take a look at my Patreon page, I have a lot of great stories!
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kikixreverie · 3 years ago
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Hi- may I ask for an angst-mix with Bucky x reader: she had her share of abusive/toxic relationships in her past, but it was nothing she spoke of, and not now when she had James. It wasnt like she thought she was gonna be triggered again, not by him, any other guy- buy not her Bucky! Some tiny bickering evolved to a large dispute, and before she knew what was happening, she shied away from him, making herself small, awaiting the blow - that never came... And instead she was overcome by shame...
Pasts and Apologies
Bucky x Fem!reader
Word count - 3k
Warnings - Mentions of domestic abuse from ex, some descriptions of abuse, angst, trauma
A/n - Okay I definitely went hard on the angst for this one. I kinda just went off on one so not so much bickering and more just a full blown argument but I've been feeling kinda angsty lately so I kinda accidentally made this darker than I expected. Please read the warnings and do not read if you think this could trigger you.
------------------------------------------------
Love had not been kind to you before Bucky. Every decent memory of your ex was clouded with uncertainty, you would walk on eggshells around him, terrified that saying the wrong thing would set him off and you'd be calling Sam again, sobbing down the phone, cradling another bruise at the hands of your 'partner'.
You were together for years, devoted to and unconditionally in love with the man that you had met in high school. Childhood sweethearts.
He always was quick to anger and he wasn't shy about that. He never had any issues with shouting at you when you pissed him off, just as he never had issues with shouting at his mother or younger brother, but at the time, you had always stood up for yourself and defended the poor woman, making him apologise, and he let you, he always let you clean up his messes.
The first few years were spent in ignorant bliss, you constantly ignored the fear that would creep up your spine when he got angry, but you could manage a screaming match or two, you could manage it all because you loved him, you depended on him despite that he wasn't at all dependable.
The arguments were tough, but you never expected it to go further than that, but eventually, it did.
The first time he was physically aggressive was on his 22nd birthday. He had insisted that he spend his birthday with his friends, calling it a guys night, and you were fine with that, you knew how handsy he got when he was with his friends anyway, so you spent the day with him instead, making sure to keep him happy and spoilt rotten.
As the night crept on, you had tried to wait up for him to return, just as he had asked, but as it passed 3am you decided that he wouldn't mind you going to bed since you had work the next day, so you crawled into bed and fell asleep, a mistake, at the time, you didn't know you had made.
When he returned half an hour later to see you unconscious, he woke you up with his shouting, angry that you hadn't stayed up for him, convinced that you were ruining his night on purpose. The loud awakening was enough alone to trigger your fight or flight but when he threw the duvet off you and grabbed your ankle so tightly you knew a bruise would form, you were terrified. He dragged you off the bed and pushed you towards the door, telling you to fuck off, and you did, tears streaming down your face as you laid awake on the couch till morning.
It only got worse from there, when he realised that he could hurt you and get away with it, it became his favourite past time, he'd look for reasons to shout at you, make you do things that would piss him off just so he'd have a reason to be cruel.
When Sam started noticing dark bruises on your skin, he was livid, and despite how often you'd try to convince him that it's just clumsiness, Sam knew better.
There were rare days that you would have long conversations with Sam, you'd talk about how you'd lost all your friends and distanced yourself from your family but you didn't blame your abuser, you blamed only yourself, and Sam would beg you to leave him but you'd be sobbing in his arms, telling him that you still loved the man who hurt you, that he didn't really mean to hurt you and you'd feel even more guilt if you ever got him in trouble for it.
It was a long and hard journey, but the moment you told Sam that you wanted out, he was there for you, offering you to stay at his place and helping you call the cops. He gave you all the resources he could possibly find through the VA and set you up with an amazing therapist and eventually you were living in your own place, talking to old friends again, and filing a restraining order against your ex.
It was nearly two years later when you met him. Introduced through Sam, you met the love of your life on a Sunday. He was quiet and focused, with hard eyes scanning the room, looking for escape routes, analysing people's faces.
You smiled gently at him when you met, opting for a small nod in greeting instead of a handshake. You stayed near him for the remainder of the gathering, not pressuring him to speak to you, just sitting in silence. You were drawn to him, his behaviour was so similar to yours.
You knew what it felt like to want to just blend into the corner, to stay unnoticed, you understood the need to know how to escape a room, and you saw the way he hesitantly returned your smile and then struggled to chase his smile away once you had sat down beside him.
You and Bucky soon became each other's rocks, always there for the other on the hard days, days that you would spend just walking or reading together in calm silence. There was no doubt that the two of you loved each other, and after months and months of trying to hide longing glances and blushing cheeks, you finally confessed to each other, and the rest was history. You trusted him like you had never trusted anyone before.
As your relationship progressed, Bucky started to notice some strange things in your behaviour, how you'd always ask his permission for you to go out with friends, how you were always quick to apologise in any situation and distanced yourself from him when he was the slightest bit irritated.
He had tried to ask you about it, but you always changed the subject as soon as it was mentioned, ensuring him that it was nothing to worry about.
To tell the truth, you were embarrassed, you were ashamed that your ex still had this effect on you, and no matter how many times you told yourself that he would never, that your Bucky would never, your brain refused to allow you to believe it and you continued with the odd behaviour that you used as a defence mechanism when in the abusive relationship.
You never spoke out of line, you never asked him where or who he was going out with, and you never let small bickering escalate.
It was only after you had overheard Sam and Bucky in a heated conversation, Sam scolding Buck for being reckless and stupid during a mission, that you had your first argument with him.
You had called Sam while Bucky was at the store, convincing him to tell you what had happened and after a few minutes of guilt-tripping, Sam finally confessed that Bucky had practically ran into open fire, endangering himself in an attempt to shut down a Hydra base, it could've very easily been fatal, and it wasn't the first time something like this had happened.
You knew it was wrong, you knew you should've just asked Bucky about it, but you couldn't help yourself, and you knew that Bucky would've downplayed the whole situation.
When he returned home you were pacing up and down in the living room, chewing the inside of your cheeks and your nails to pieces because you could've lost him, Bucky could've died and he was acting as if it were nothing.
"Doll?" You could hear the worry in his voice as he placed the shopping bags on the kitchen counter and walked over to you, standing in front of you to stop your movement, pulling your hand from your mouth and kissing your knuckles.
It was supposed to calm you, and it almost did, but as his soft lips grazed your hand, and his eyes met yours, your mind kept wandering to the fact that he could've died.
This moment could've never happened, instead, you'd have Sam or Steve at your door, trying to deliver the news of their best friend's death, your lover.
"Honey speak to me" He looked utterly confused, but the look only made you feel angry.
How could he be so reckless?
"I just got off the phone with Sam."
He froze, eyebrows furrowing and taking a step away from you, waiting for you to explain.
Your gaze didn't move from the floor, trying to even out the anger and worry rushing through you, settling like a heavy rock in your stomach.
"He told me about the missions, about how you've been acting."
"What do you mean, how I've been acting?" He scoffed, sounding offended, and you sighed.
"How reckless you've been acting. Sam said that Tony's considering pulling you out of missions! How many times have you endangered yourself like this? How many times is it gonna take for you to realise that you could fucking die out there, James."
Your voice was stern, and the tone felt foreign against your tongue. Bucky's kept his face hard, refusing to show any emotion, but you could see the way his jaw clenched harshly, eyes glued to the corner of the room, ignoring your fiery glare.
"Were you ever going to tell me? I thought that all the injuries you got were fairly normal for the jobs you do, but when I hear that you run into open fire, that you make decisions on your own before talking to your team, that you've gotten fucking stabbed in the past, and you never told me, how do you expect me to react?"
He sighed heavily through his nose, jaw ticking in annoyance towards his friend, angry that he had told you even though it wasn't his place.
"I told him not to tell you." His voice was gruff, the words spoken harshly under his breath and you felt your anger flair again.
"What and you think that's okay?!"
His gaze shot to yours, looking at you incredulously.
"Bucky we're partners! You're supposed to tell me this shit, you're supposed to tell me when you've nearly died on a mission, you're supposed to trust me."
"You think I don't trust you?!" His voice was slightly raised and you felt your annoyance spike, "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry."
"Of course I'm gonna worry, James. This is a big deal, I can't believe you've been getting seriously injured and not telling me."
"Well, I don't think it's that big of a deal, Sam shouldn't have fucking told you. This wouldn't be happening if he had just kept his mouth shut, but no! Of course not!" Bucky's eyebrows were drawn in tight with annoyance, wishing you'd just drop the subject, "I'm not stupid, I know what I'm doing."
"What the hell do you mean 'You know what you're doing?' You know that you're not supposed to endanger yourself to complete a mission, yet you do it anyway. I'm glad Sam told me because otherwise, I doubt I'd ever find out!."
"I don't see how what I do on missions is anything to do with you. Sam is exaggerating. I'm fine!"
As Bucky's voice raised, you started to lose focus, flashbacks of your past echoing in your mind and in his annoyance, Bucky didn't notice the way your eyes had gone distant, losing sight of the man in front of you, the man you loved, and forming the image of the man you still see in nightmares, the man you're so terrified of seeing in the street that you haven't stepped foot in Queens since leaving him.
You could almost feel the sting of his palm against your cheek, the burn of his hand, tight around your wrist, and you tried to remind yourself that it wasn't real. It had been months since you'd had an episode, and your steps to control them were hard to find with the false image of your abuser so clear in front of you.
"Are you even listening to me?" The statement dragged you back to reality and you felt yourself calm when your eyes focused in on Bucky, reminding yourself that your ex wasn't here, that Bucky wasn't like that, he would never, but as he raised his arm to push his hair out of his face, everything flew out the window and in the moment, you were 21 again and you were sure he was going to hit you, your exes face flashing behind your eyes again.
You flinched, a gasp falling from your lips as your eyes squeezed shut and your head ducked down, breathing heavily through your nose as you awaited the hit.
Time slowed.
Bucky froze completely, his eyes wide and frantic as he quickly stumbled away from you, shaking his head as self-hatred ran through his veins, disgusted at himself for making you think even in the slightest, that he would ever hurt you.
"Doll?" He sounded absolutely broken.
Your head shot up, panic flooding through you when you realised what you had done and pain replacing the feeling when you saw the agony on Bucky's face.
"Y/n, I- I would never-" He kept his voice at a pained whisper, not wanting to scare you further as he stayed at a distance.
You collapsed to the floor, sitting on your knees as the weight of the situation pulled you down. Your hands raised to cover your mouth as a sob threatened to tear through you, so fucking ashamed of what had just happened, so fucking ashamed that your ex had done this to you, and you had let him for so long, ashamed that he still haunted you.
"Babydoll I-" He struggled to find the words, terrified that he had just lost you, wanting to reach out and hold you but scared shitless of hurting you more than he already had, "I don't know what- I'm so fucking sorry y/n, I can't- I can't even fathom the thought of-"
His voice trailed off, unable to even say the words and you felt your guilt tenfold.
"N-No Bucky, I'm sorry I thought-" You struggled to speak through your crying, hot tears flowing down your cheeks as you rocked yourself gently in an attempt to self-soothe.
"Why are you apologising honey? This is on me, this is-"
"No, it isn't, I promise Buck this isn't you, it's.." You couldn't get the words out, you couldn't tell him, "Just come here, please."
You wanted him to wrap his arms around you, you needed him to know that it wasn't him, you know the way his mind works and you knew that by now he would already be drowning in guilt and self-hatred.
"I don't think that I should. I don't want to hurt you, I can't- I can't hurt you" You smiled at him gently through your tears and your chin wobbled as you saw the tears running down his cheeks too.
"It's okay. I'm okay Bucky, I just- I-I need you over here, I need you - I need you to touch me. I need you."
He was over in an instant, falling to the floor beside you and letting out a huge sigh of relief when you instantly wrapped yourself around him, tucking your head into the crook of his neck and crawling into his lap, needing to be as close to him as possible, to rid the memories of the pain, to remind yourself that his touch is good, his touch is safe.
Arms enveloped you and he held you as tight as possible, the both of you crying.
After the two of you had calmed down and a comfortable silence enveloped you, Bucky knew he would have to break it.
"Why did you think that I would hit you?" He asked, his voice tentative and gentle and you sighed, knowing that it was time for you to tell him.
"I didn't, I don't, I promise."
You lifted your head from his shoulder but still stayed on his lap, instead, resting your forehead against his.
"Then why-?"
"I thought I was better, I-I thought it was all over but I just- I lost myself again. Everything got all foggy and I lost where I was and I just, I thought I was there but-" The floodgates opened again and you knew that Bucky had no clue what you were talking about but the words just kept coming.
Bucky's eyebrows were furrowed tightly and when your vague, confusing explanation only made his worry grow, he felt himself pulling you even tighter against him.
"Doll, Did someone hurt you? Is that why you're always walking on eggshells around me? Is that what the nightmares are about?" He struggled against the words, not wanting to say them because he didn't want to believe them and he watched in agony as you swallowed hard and nodded slowly, your hands coming to rest on the back of his neck as you continued to hold your forehead against his.
He refused to let his anger show, he wouldn't do that to you, especially with you so fragile, but he couldn't hide the pained shaky breath he let out at your confession, "Fuck, I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry that that happened to you. Was it your ex? Did he hurt you?"
You nodded again, doing your breathing exercises, and calming yourself so that you could explain your situation fully to your partner.
"I should've told you, I know, I just, I'm so angry that I'm still like this, I just wish it would all go away and I could forget about what he did. I thought I was better. I can't stand that I'm still so haunted by that asshole" Bucky nodded along as you spoke, brushing his fingers up and down your back to help calm you.
"It's okay, Doll. Things like that don't just go away. Believe me, I wish they did too, but things will get better, I promise you that. Thank you for telling me."
You scoffed in self-deprecation, "I should've told you ages ago."
"That doesn't matter, you've told me now, and I'm sure it wasn't easy, so thank you for sharing" His voice was so gentle, his hands caressing your back almost making you feel sleepy.
"And Buck?" He hummed in response, letting you know that he was listening, "About the mission thing, I'm just worried about you. I can't lose you, I need you, and I need you alive."
A gentle smile lifted his frown and he nodded in understanding, feeling bad for getting mad in the first place, and you leaned back, looking down at him, your hands playing with his hair.
"I know. I'm sorry for being an idiot, It's just so hard to look at them and remember what they did to me and know what they've done to so many innocent people and I just lose it, all rationality out the window" You nodded at him, understanding how painful some of the missions must be.
"I'm sorry I got so upset with you, and I'm sorry I went to Sam instead of talking to you. Don't be mad at him, I kinda forced him to tell me" You gave him a sheepish look and he breathed out a small laugh, his nose crinkling like you always loved.
"It's okay doll, I'm sorry for being so careless and hiding the stuff about the missions, I promise I'll be more careful, I gotta make sure I always come home to my sweet girl. And don't worry about Sam, you deserved to know and I know what you're like."
You tutted at him and he smiled in response, the adorable, loving look on his face making you pull him into the sweetest, softest kiss which he instantly returned.
After sitting together in each others embrace for a while, the yawns eventually started. You were both positively exhausted from all the emotions you had both just experienced so Bucky wrapped your legs around his waist and lifted you both from the floor, discarding the groceries still left in bags in the kitchen and carrying you to bed, holding you as close as physically possible as you both drifted off to sleep.
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mercy-burning · 3 years ago
Text
Honeybee
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: While attending Seraphina's wedding, Y/N discovers that her crush on her best friend’s older brother hasn’t gone away after all these years. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Strong language, alcohol consumption, fingering, penetrative/protected sex Word Count: 5.7k
MASTERLIST
NOTE: I know I promised a oneshot over the weekend, but I’m a messy, inconsistent bitch, so you get it a day late 😅🥰
———
Looking back, I was starting to wonder if Seraphina only got engaged and asked me to be her maid of honor just to witness my slow descent into a heaping puddle of lovesick mush.
Truly, it was pathetic.
Yeah, yeah, she was getting married because she loved her fiancé and whatever, obviously, but she was also using it as an excuse to try and get me to admit my feelings for her older brother. Feelings, I might add, that only surfaced when I was a middle schooler and went away once he went off to college.
Sure, I'd thought about him on occasion when he was inevitably brought up around Sera's house throughout the years, but that was it. I'd hardly say I was hard-core in love with him. And I was totally prepared to see him for the first time since our high school graduation.
At least, I thought I was.
And Seraphina—the little shit—knew it, too. The smirk on her face the moment we were all in the same room for the first time in ten years made me want to run and hide more than her brother's figure, right in front of me and hotter than ever.
I was mad. Not at Sera as much, because really there was nothing she could do about the fact that he was her brother, but I was mad at myself. Because how in the hell had it stood to reason that a man I actively didn't think about for a whole decade had this much of an effect on me after all this time?
Honestly? I blame the FBI.
If he'd done literally anything else with his life I probably could have made it. Well, not by much if we're being honest, but come on...
Where he'd been a bit nerdy and reserved as I knew him, the man in front of me had clearly changed. Not just physically, though that was also a pleasant surprise. He looked like he'd been through some shit... And he carried himself taller. There was a new air of confidence that perched on his shoulder and helped him along as he talked with old friends and family members at his sister's rehearsal dinner.
Spencer Reid was older and more experienced this time around, and somehow even more goddamn delicious...
I was a total wreck. And it was about to get a whole lot worse.
He was coming this way. Right for me. He'd noticed me staring at him all night, because I couldn't keep my shit together, and now I was absolutely doomed.
Guess it was a good thing I'd practically grown up with him and knew how to act outwardly.
Still, the moment he was up close and flashing me that little smile of his, I felt the pit of my stomach scream out loud, sending shockwaves through my bloodstream.
"Hey, Honeybee. It's been a while."
Fuck. That fucking nickname...
"Spencer... It has."
When we hugged briefly, I tried as hard as I could not to inhale his scent, knowing that not only was that pathetic and embarrassing, but also I'd never stop smelling it otherwise. I did take note, though, of how strong he was now. He wasn't a bodybuilder of any kind, but he was certainly less bony and more defined.
I had to hold back a whine as I felt him let go of me, because I didn't want to leave his warm embrace but also because I didn't think I could stand to look at his face anymore without losing any and all semblance of my cool.
Still, I let him release me, and even then he didn't go far. We only stood inches apart, and my whole body was practically numb at the proximity. It also didn't help that I had to tilt my head up to see his face— It made me feel extremely submissive, and I could already feel myself starting to shrink.
Whether he was amused at that or just at me in general, the feeling I got was the same.
"Sera tells me you've been busy..." He paused, seemingly searching for the right word, though I could tell he already had it on the tip of his tongue. "Modeling?"
I closed my eyes with a sigh. "It was one job for some obscure European magazine, no one in the country's probably ever heard of it... It's not that big of a deal."
Spencer huffed a laugh. "You sound embarrassed..."
How was I supposed to respond to that? If I lied and told him I wasn't embarrassed, he'd figure it out, and if I told him the truth? I'd still be screwed. Honestly, my best bet was changing the subject.
Though, maybe it wasn't— When I asked him about his travels for work, he ignored it and responded with, "Ah, so you are embarrassed."
"N— I am not!"
"You changed the subject so fast I barely had time to blink... There's nothing to be ashamed of, Honeybee, I don't know why you'd—"
"Look, dude, I'm not ashamed, and I'm certainly not changing the subject. We were on the subject of jobs. So there."
I was aware of how childish I sounded, but I stood my ground nonetheless. And thankfully Spencer seemed to let it go, though not without amplifying that amused sparkle in his eye.
"Okay... Well, I've got some more people to see, but, uh... I'll see you around. Maybe you can show me some of your work."
He didn't even give me time to protest. Though if he had, I was sure I wouldn't have been able to get any words out what with that goddamned face he had, twisted and sculpted into all these beautiful ways that were designed specifically to make me a blubbering hot mess.
I could only gather the courage to nod in response, though he'd turned his back and walked away by the time I got it out.
———
All things considered, I'd managed to avoid him for the majority of the wedding festivities. I focused all my energy on being happy to see my best friend get married, and likewise it seemed that Spencer was inclined to do the same.
He walked his sister down the aisle, and seeing them both so happy truly made my heart sing. To think I'd known them since we were all kids more or less, and now they were both successful, beautiful human beings... It warmed me to my core, and despite the other flames that stung my insides at seeing Spencer in his tux, thing were going swimmingly.
That being said, we were just about two hours into the reception, and there was absolutely nothing stopping me from begging Seraphina to put me out of my misery.
Except maybe pints upon pints of alcohol.
In hindsight, that may not have been a good idea, though. Because as much as the open bar had it benefits, it also hated me. It was mostly my fault, because I was stupid enough to forget that I get frisky when I'm drunk, but that didn't stop me from blaming the bartender for continuing to serve me.
I wasn't quite at the point of all-out inebriation, but I was definitely toeing the line between tipsy flirting and total disaster.
And when Spencer came over to ask me to dance, I knew I was doomed.
I didn't find myself caring about what he was saying, only the fact that he was there, in front of me, putting his hands on me and breathing in the same air that I was putting out. My entire body buzzed, and while I would have panicked otherwise, my tipsy brain welcomed the tingle and made me a bit bolder.
"You enjoying yourself tonight?" he asked, like he couldn't already tell that I was having the time of my life.
"No way. You suck at dancing." The joke rolled off my tongue with ease, a product of years spent teasing him for countless things.
And just like all those times before, he rolled his eyes and then immediately flashed an affectionate smile all the same.
I should have stopped there, maybe tried to do something a bit more romantic like teach him how to dance... Placing his hands and fixing his posture, taking the time to gracefully have an excuse for exploring his body with my hands...
But romance took a backseat when I pressed myself in even closer to him and hummed just under his jawline. "Mmm, but I bet you're good at other things..."
I felt his hands grip my waist just a little tighter, and his throat visibly twitched. "How much have you had to drink, Honeybee?"
"Spencer," I whined, pressing my face into his neck. "Don't tell me you're turning me down, please..."
I could tell by the way he was touching me, his hands wavering and undecided, and the way his heartbeat thrummed loudly and quickly against my own that he wanted nothing more than to entertain my desires.
The thought made me quiver and press further into him. I kissed his jawline tenderly, silently begging him to whisk me away and finally make me his, but it broke my heart a little to feel him peel away from me.
When he looked into my eyes though, I swore the gleam in his own is what put me back together. It could have been the liquor swimming around in my body that made me feel lightheaded, but when Spencer lifted my chin with his fingers and looked me over, I knew that wasn't it. It was wholeheartedly, without a doubt, him.
"Tell you what... You get sobered up by the end of the night, and maybe I'll come find you."
I wanted to nod, but his gentle grip on my chin held me steady—At least until he glided his fingertips down my throat and over my shoulder. Then I downright slumped forward with a whine and a weak nod that seemed to make him smile.
"Thank you for the dance," he said earnestly, leaning forward to press the lightest of kisses to my temple.
Just like that he was gone, and I wanted him back almost immediately.
———
And so the night dragged on, and the longer I sobered up the more it dawned on me what the fuck just happened— What the fuck was going to happen, too, if I played my cards right.
It didn't help that I could practically feel Spencer's eyes on me the whole time. Probably to make sure I really wasn't drinking anymore, a fact that only made this feel more real.
On top of it all, I was starting to lose count of the amount of men here who were trying to buy me drinks. Even if the one man I really wanted tonight hadn't given me a deal, I still wouldn't have accepted them, if only for the pathetic fact that I would have been trying to catch his attention instead.
So much for trying to convince myself I wasn't in love with him...
Was that really what it was? It had to be, right?
Either way, I was determined to find out, and that meant declining every flirtatious offer to drink and dance.
Unfortunately, Seraphina seemed to notice, even on the one day in her entire life she shouldn't have been thinking about anyone but herself. "You're not having fun," she pouted, plopping down next to me and handing me a shot. "Have fun."
I laughed and set the tiny glass down on the table. "I am having fun, I'm just... tired. And being hungover tomorrow does not sound fun."
"Mmm," she responded, visibly suspicious.
I didn't really know what to say to her to convince her not to be though, so I grabbed her hand and smiled. "You're having fun though, right? 'Cause I will not hesitate to kick someone's ass if you're not."
With a bellowing laugh mildly tainted with the smell of champagne, Seraphina squeezed my hand and leaned in close. "I'm having the best time. I couldn't be happier."
"Well, good. You deserve it."
After a small moment of silent shared smiles, my best friend glanced over elsewhere and then back to me with that look in her eye that kind of scared me.
And her words were even scarier... "So, you talk to Spencer at all tonight?"
"Uh— Yeah... Briefly."
"Mhmm... Y'know, I saw you two dancing together earlier. You seemed reeeally close..."
There I was, getting defensive in front of a Reid sibling for the second time that night. And just like before, I was awful at being subtle. "Sera, stop it! It was just a dance..."
"Bullshit! He had his hands all over you, and he had that gross-ass, dreamy-ass look in his eye! He so wants to sleep with you!"
"Sera!" I gently shoved her and tried not to smile at the goofy smile she had plastered on her face.
"Am I wrong?"
"I... I don't..."
"Ha! I'm not wrong!"
The defeated look in my eye did nothing to disconfirm her story.
"So, what's stopping you from letting him?"
I went wide-eyed. "Se—You... You seriously would... You're okay with this? It doesn't... gross you out?"
There were a lot of things I could have seen Seraphina do in that moment, but pinching and yelling at me were not any of them. "Y/N! You idiot! I've been trying to get you two together for years! If I knew all it took was me getting married, I would have accepted Theo Decker's proposal..."
"Wa— In fifth grade? Sera, that wasn't—"
"I know, but you get what I mean! You two are so painfully attracted to each other, it physically hurts me. It's actually disgusting, but if it means there's a chance that you might get to be my sister? I say go for it."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You... You really mean that?"
"What, you think I'd joke about that?"
Everything that she conveyed to me within the look in her eyes, her words, and the squeezing of her hand over mine told me she was sincere.
"I love you, you know," I told her just as sincerely.
Her smile was as radiant as ever, but the teasing tone in her voice was enough to make me scowl again. "Right back at'cha, Honeybee. Just do me a favor and don't tell me any details. I don't wanna know."
I stuck my tongue out at her, followed by a short shove. "Oh, and as soon as you get back from your honeymoon? I'm kicking your ass for telling him about that nude shoot I did for that magazine..."
She only grinned. "Why? I think I did you a favor..."
I rolled my eyes at her, but in the end, I guess she was right.
———
I shouldn't have been pacing. Really, it was pretty fucking embarrassing the way I walked in circles around my hotel room, waiting for a knock at the door or a text message on my phone, or something to let me know that Spencer had really meant what he said and was on his way to come find me.
I didn't have a single drink after we danced, and I swear to God, if he made me go through this entire night all nervous without the liquor to calm me down, for nothing? I was going to kill him tomorrow.
Later today... Whatever.
The point? I was well and truly ready to feel him taking up my personal space, and I was going to feel like a real idiot if I waited around and prepped and everything, only for him not to show. The funny thing was, it was almost two in the morning, and I would have stayed up until the sun rose for him.
Thank God he had the decency to save me the trouble.
A short two-rap knock on the door made me jump, but I ran at it full-speed, flinging the large wooden panel open and letting its momentum blow cool wind over my body. And I needed it, too.
Because standing right in front of me was Spencer Reid in all his semi-exhausted glory. His outfit was loosened, buttons undone and bowtie untied, hanging limp around his neck. His hair sat wild atop his head and a thin layer of sweat coated his skin. Maybe that last part sounded gross, but looking at him? It was anything but.
Especially when he flashed me that damned smirk. "Someone's eager..."
I tried not to sound as dumbfounded by his presence as I felt. "Well, you made me a good offer I couldn't refuse. Excuse me for being excited."
"And here I thought all this time you hated me, Honeybee..."
"That would be easier, wouldn't it?"
His grin transformed into a full-on beaming smile then, and it only made my skin feel warmer and my heart beat faster. I returned his smile with my own, so genuinely happy to see him again after all this time, and with the brightest show of happiness I'd ever seen.
Turns out, smiling like a lovesick idiot was all I was capable of.
"Are you... gonna let me in?"
The low suggestive tone in his voice had me springing into action, stepping back and allowing him the space to come in. And though he had plenty of room, Spencer still decided to brush his body over mine as he passed. His eyes bore into my own as he gently kicked the door shut and enveloped us in a dimness that came from cheap hotel lighting.
Still, I was unable to speak, and hardly able to even breathe, with each passing second.
And then, his hands were on my waist, pulling me to him with a softness that matched the whisper in his throat as he said, "C'mere..." Looking up at him then, his fingers burning holes through the thin fabric of my dress while he looked back down me, eyes swimming in tender desire... It almost didn't even feel real.
And it certainly didn't feel real when he leaned in, one of his hands coming up to touch my face while the other pressed me firmly against him.
The moment his lips touched mine, I was gone. I positively melted into him, so much so that it felt like I was just becoming a part of him entirely, losing myself in the moment and unwilling to let it go.
Even when he sighed against my lips and parted his own to kiss me deeper, I just followed suit and let him take the lead. We moved together as one, fluidly and with as much eagerness was possible. I'd wanted to get a taste of him for so long, and he obviously felt the same way, what with the thorough and precise exploring his tongue did with my own. It shot warmth throughout my whole being, and my legs threatened to buckle underneath me from how weak they felt.
Spencer seemed to understand what was happening to me, because as soon as I'd thought it, he was just as quick to literally sweep me off my feet, scooping me up bridal style and carrying me over to the large bed in the middle of the room.
"I know we're at a wedding and all, but geez," I laughed, watching as he laid me down gently and crawled over my body. "A little much?"
He only rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for trying to be romantic..."
"Mmm, I think you're just being an overachiever. As per usual."
That remark earned me a pinning of my wrists above my head, and the fire that erupted in my very core at my current position only cemented that this was very real.
Spencer grinned, his hips coming down to roll over mine teasingly. He spoke nice and slowly, his voice slicing through my soul like smooth butter. "Oh, Honeybee, I'll show you an overachiever..."
Once again I was rendered speechless. Not like I expected to be talking his ear off or anything, but words genuinely escaped me.
Luckily, Spencer didn't seem to mind. In fact, he knew exactly what to do next, and it made me even hungrier for him than ever before.
He captured my lips in another dizzying kiss, his hands still flexing over my wrists to keep them steady. I moaned softly and writhed against him, and though I would have liked to say that it was a conscious choice to coax him to give me more, really it was just me being unable to handle the fact that this was actually happening.
Actually, if not for the overwhelming and familiar scent of him, I would have thought I was only imagining it.
But alas, here he was in all his floral peppermint glory, grinding his hips down into mine and kissing me like I'd never been kissed before, driving me mad with each adept movement.
Thankfully he seemed to get as lost in the moment as I was, because he loosened my wrists in his grip, and I broke free, flying my hands in between us and down to his belt.
His lips pulled away from mine with a soft smack, a smile forming smugly upon them. "Have you no patience?"
As my fingers fumbled with the metal and leather, I pressed my nose to his and quickly pecked his mouth. "I thought we already established that I have no patience the moment I opened the door..."
"Fair... But still..."
Spencer grabbed my hands again, moving them to my sides and then hiking my dress up slowly. His skin was hot against my own, and it took everything I had not to break down begging for him.
And then he spoke again, his lips barely grazing mine as he did. "Teasing you is so much fun..."
I couldn't really explain what sound escaped me then, but it reminded me of a disgruntled animal, erupting from my throat and getting muffled the moment I took my hands and brought his face to mine. I kissed him fervently as his hands matched the intense nature of my affections— With every soft groan I gave him, he returned it with an inch higher up my leg, until eventually he was toying with the hem of my underwear.
Unable to take it anymore, I gave in and mumbled the most desperate plea I could think of. (Like I had to think that hard...)
"Spencer, please..."
I half expected him to tease me again, but this time I felt him tremble over my body. His fingers slipped under the satin of my underwear and he sighed into my mouth. "God, how could I ever say no to you..."
No sooner had the words left his mouth did he spread me apart with his fingertips, getting a feel for me and a broken sigh falling from his tongue and onto my own. I captured it and kissed him with as much precision as I could while under the influence of his hands working wonders.
Truly, his hands hand a magic of their own that should have been considered as an eighth Wonder of the World. They flexed in all the right places, splitting me open and caressing the most sensitive parts of me, simultaneously breaking me apart and putting me back together...
God, and those was only his hands...
The thought of what else he had waiting for me made me cry out into his mouth, though I'm sure it also had to do with the fact that his fingers were curling expertly inside me and summoning an orgasm that I knew would satisfy us both.
I almost cried out again when his lips left mine, but then they travelled to my neck and paid it the most glorious attention. The alternation of his fingers and his tongue on different spots of my body had me in shambles, and it took no longer than a few seconds to snap.
"Fuck, that's my girl," Spencer grumbled into my neck, helping me through my orgasm. "That's it, honey..."
What I wouldn't have given to hear him talk to me like that until the end of time... His words, their tone and praise seeping into my skin and bringing my soul to life... Coupled with his soft hands and his even softer breath fanning over my neck, I was just about ready to ask him to keep talking to me, to say my name and never stop.
He pulled away though, removing his hand from my lower half and bringing it up to his mouth, and I had the feeling my request wouldn't be a problem.
Spencer's eyes rolled back and his tongue gathered my arousal off his long, well-endowed fingers. And though I could hear his groan well and clear, I felt it more than anything. It reverberated through my body and brought me more to life in a way I never thought imaginable.
No one had ever made me feel that way with one single sound, and that's how I knew.
I thought I knew it from the start—from when we were growing up—that I wanted to be near him forever. But It was always just a silly dream, something I was never quite able to reach, and as I got older and we rarely saw each other, it got harder to even imagine anymore.
Now I didn't have to imagine.
Spencer Reid was right in front of me, touching me, tasting me, verbally praising me with sounds I'd only ever dreamed of...
I wanted him to have his moment, because I was positive he'd wanted this just as much as I did, but this sappy sort of revelation I was having made it nearly impossible to not be utterly wrapped up in him, and I wanted more.
So I wiggled and adjusted myself underneath him before grabbing his hand and placing it over my heart. His eyes widened softly at the sight of me, and I knew then that he was taking the time to memorize my face, and the image of his hand resting at my chest, right where my heart was encased beneath bones, flesh, and fabric.
"I could look at you forever," he whispered then.
I would have been ashamed to admit that I whimpered when he said it, but the way he looked at me afterwards made me feel the exact opposite.
He smiled, using his other hand to come up and touch my face. "You want it bad, don't you, Honeybee?"
I didn't even argue with him this time. My head nodded and my hands reached out to pull him closer. "I want you... More than I've ever wanted anything."
Before he leaned down to kiss me, I could have swore he looked like he was going to shed a tear. The duality of him, his ability to be all teasing and cocky one second and then reduced to a lovesick mess at just a few words from me the next, made my heart sing.
And it kept singing, a sweet, steady melody as Spencer kissed me and touched me like he meant it.
Only this time, he didn't pause or tease me with theatrics. He went straight for the kill, fetching a condom from his pants pocket and then sliding the material down, all while keeping me trapped under his embrace. I welcomed it naturally, humming happily into his neck and jawline and anywhere I could reach as he got us both fully undressed and situated, until finally he had the condom on and his hands rested nicely on either side of my head.
"Promise not to sting me?"
I laughed, draping my arms over his shoulders and flashing him a wink. "Mmm, only if you promise to give it to me good..."
"Deal."
He slowly pushed into me then, and the stretch was far more satisfying than his fingers, though I was in no position to complain either way. If he was even half as skilled with his hips as he was with his hands (which I had no doubts about whatsoever), then neither of us had anything to worry about.
It didn't take long for us to find our rhythm, but I didn't have time to think about that. I was so consumed with just the feeling of him being everywhere that technicalities didn't matter.
That being said, the technicalities were really fucking good.
His hips snapped into mine with sharp precision, and I felt it deep within my bones. My cunt clung around him willingly and accordingly, as did my legs, which hooked over his waist as I dug my heels into his ass.
Meanwhile Spencer grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head again, this time interlocking our fingers and then leaning down to kiss me deeply. It was met with my undying welcome, of course, but with the way he was fucking me, deep and with a devotion that nearly exploded my heart, I couldn't help but whine out for more.
His name was all I could manage.
"What do you want, Honeybee?" he cooed, holding himself deep inside me and grinding his hips in small circles that made it harder to breathe.
"M—More... I..."
"Can you be more specific?"
How he could be such a cocky little shit in this moment I wasn't sure, and it frustrated me to no end. He knew damn well what I wanted, and I knew just the thing that would make him give it to me.
I have him the biggest pout I could, also whining out the most pathetic, "More," in my arsenal. And with a roll of my hips up into his, I gasped out at how deep he got, and whined out again.
"Spoiled brat," Spencer grunted in defeat, retreating only to slam into me at full force.
My small gasps and cries turned into full-blown howls of searing pleasure as he fucked me then. My head tipped back and my back arched slightly, exposing my neck and chest to him, and he took it as an invitation to lean down and put his mouth anywhere he could reach. I was sure there would be small nicks and bruises littered over my skin the next morning, and just thinking of everyone seeing them, seeing Spencer's mark on me, made it harder to prolong the inevitable.
I came with a shout, flexing my hands into his as my body tensed then relaxed, over and over while he whispered praises into my skin. He followed soon after, shoving his face into my neck and muffling the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard as he came.
By then his hands had loosened, so I snuck my own away from his and brought them over to hug him close. One hand knotted into his hair while the other grazed over his back. The thin sheen of sweat forming over his skin once again was more enticing than it probably sounded, but I loved it all the same. I felt him relax and bring his arms down to rest at my sides, his fingertips dancing lightly over my skin and giving me goosebumps.
Then out of nowhere, he said something that confused and mildly panicked me. "I thought you said you wouldn't sting me..."
I pulled away to try and look at his face, loosening my grip on his body. "A—Am I hurting you? I'm sorry..."
He laughed though, peppering tiny kisses up my neck until he got to my jaw. "You're not hurting me, Honeybee... You've just... stung my heart, that's all."
"I... Is that a bad thing?"
"It's a strange thing..."
He looked at me like I was the one thing on the planet he adored, but his words sounded different.
I raised an eyebrow. "You're not helping me understand..."
With another laugh, Spencer Kissed my cheek and rolled off of me, settling for laying on his side and turning me to face him. "Do you remember how I gave you your nickname?"
Despite my confusion about all of this, I entertained him with a huffed laugh. "Yeah, I spilled honey all over my shorts without realizing it, and I had ants all over me in a matter of minutes. I was terrified."
"I was highly amused."
I shoved him. "Yeah, dork, I know you were! You and Seraphina both thought it was the funniest thing on the planet, and then your mom had to come out and spray me down with a hose before I came back in the house."
Spencer barked a laugh, and I wanted to punch it right out of his mouth.
"Tell me again why this is relevant to our current situation?" I reminded him with and sigh, already over his antics.
Thankfully he seemed to take pity on me; He reached a hand out and played with a strand of my hair, smiling even brighter than when I opened the door for him. "That's when I started to feel it. You were just... so cute all angry at me and Sera for laughing, and it... It changed everything."
"You know, that would be more romantic if I hadn't been covered in bugs," I responded with a laugh.
"It's true! And it confused the hell out of me, because how was I supposed to cope with the fact that I actually had a crush on my little sister's best friend like some stupid cliché? You were always so feisty after that, too, and it certainly didn't help... And when I graduated and went off to college, I thought... I thought there was no chance you would ever be able to break the heart you'd managed to steal."
He swiped his thumb gently over my bottom lip and smiled, his eyes going all tear-y again. It sent butterflies through my whole body.
"I would never even dream of breaking your heart, Spencer..."
Our foreheads pressed together then, and the unwavering adoration in his voice when he spoke made me forget all prior confusion and minor embarrassment over re-living our origins.
All that mattered was that he was here, holding me in his arms and making me feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
"I know you won't, Honeybee."
———
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dadbodosamu · 3 years ago
Text
only you || part v
Stepdad!Osamu x Fem!Reader
WARNINGS: spit, semi-public sex, alcohol, oral (f+m receiving), male masturbation, female masturbation, daddy kink, breeding kink, squirting, hair pulling, cum eating
5.6k words
part i || part ii || part iii || part iv || part v || part vi || extras || only you, too
“Can’t I just stay the night?” Atsumu groaned as he got dressed.
“We’re going out tonight,” Osamu said, throwing Atsumu’s shirt at him.
You rolled over in the bed, pulling the blanket over your nude form. You propped yourself up on your elbow, appreciating Osamu’s strong body as he pulled his boxers up.
“Good morning, baby,” Osamu said, smiling as he leaned down to peck your lips.
“Mmm, morning,” you hummed. “What time is it?”
“Five in the afternoon,” he said. “You only slept for a few hours.”
You nodded, stretching out and yawning. “I’m going to shower,” you mumbled, sitting up.
You looked at Atsumu, who was still standing in your room.
“What?” He asked, finally noticing you staring at him.
“Get out,” you said, gesturing towards the door.
“Like I wasn’t just balls deep in yer pussy,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and walking out.
“Like you didn’t nearly cum in your pants while I choked you!” You called after him. You smiled as you heard him grumbling from the hallway.
“Ya okay?” Osamu asked.
You shrugged as you stood up on wobbly legs. “A little sore.”
You took a step towards your bathroom and your knees buckled. Thankfully, Osamu managed to grab your waist before you could fall.
“Let me help ya,” he said, holding you steady as you shakily walked to the bathroom. He sat you on the edge of the tub as he started the shower.
“I’ve got it from here,” you said. Your legs shook as you stood up but they stayed under you.
“Call if ya need me,” Osamu said, helping you into the shower.
You showered quickly. You brushed your teeth and fixed your hair before joining the twins in the living room.
“You never said where we were going tonight,” you said, curling up by Osamu on the couch. “How should I dress?”
“Casual,” he said, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you closer. “What you’re wearing now is fine.”
You glanced down at the sundress you were wearing. It was longer than your other one, so it already had Osamu’s stamp of approval.
You nodded and rested your head on his shoulder.
“We’re getting dinner? Great, where are we going?” Atsumu asked, plopping down next to you.
“We’re getting dinner and yer goin’ home,” Osamu said.
“Worth a try,” Atsumu said, shrugging. “Kiss goodbye?”
“I’m gonna kick yer ass,” Osamu said. Atsumu stood with a smirk.
“Not even a lil one?” Atsumu said. You smiled and stood up, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Don’t forget to cover that bruise on your throat,” you said, sitting back down. Atsumu whipped out his phone, swearing loudly when he saw the hand-shaped bruise across his neck.
“Damn it, what am I supposed to tell the boys?” Atsumu asked.
You shrugged as you cuddled into Osamu’s side.
“That you like getting choked by cute girls?” You suggested. “Nothing to be ashamed of.”
Atsumu groaned out a goodbye as he left.
Osamu pulled you into his lap and peppered kisses on your face as you giggled.
“Not that I don’t like it, but what was that for?” You asked, smiling after he kissed your lips.
“What, I can’t kiss my girlfriend?” Osamu asked, kissing your nose again. “Just wanna remind ya who ya belong to.”
“Never forgot,” you said, pecking his lips. “Need I remind you whose name I was moaning the whole time?”
You cupped his face and peppered him with kisses. “I love you, Miya Osamu.”
“I love ya,” Osamu said, kissing your lips one more time. “Let me go get dressed and we can go eat.”
“I guess I can let you go,” you said, moving off his lap. You laid on the couch, watching him walk down the hallway.
You checked your phone, responding to a few messages from your school friends and checking your socials. As expected, your mom’s ‘it’s complicated’ status had garnered a lot of attention. Comments ranging from ‘oh, i’m sorry sweetie’ to ‘i never liked him anyway’ to, to your joy, ‘he was too young for you anyway, don’t you have a daughter his age?’.
You cackled as you scrolled through the comments. Your mom had even responded to some, stating ‘he knows what he did’. You rolled your eyes and closed your facebook.
“Ready?” Osamu asked, stepping in front of you.
“When you are,” you said.
The restaurant was small and cozy, with the scent of fresh bread filling the air. You smiled as Osamu led you to a table in a secluded corner, pulling out your seat for you before sitting across from you.
“Everything here is fantastic,” Osamu said as you read over the menu. “My friend from uni runs this place, he’s almost a better chef than I am.”
“Almost?” You questioned. “So humble, Osamu.”
“Miya-kun!” A man exclaimed, rushing towards your table.
“Takahashi-kun,” Osamu greeted, smiling at the man.
“It’s been a while!” Takahashi said. “This the wife?”
You winced.
“Ah, not yet,” Osamu said. “I’m actually in the process of getting a divorce. This is my girlfriend, L/n Y/n.”
You smiled widely. “Hi, nice to meet you,” you said.
“Nice to meet you! It’s nice that you managed to get Miya to drag you out here, he rarely makes time to come visit his old friends,” Takahashi said. “I think I met the wife once? Maybe twice.”
“I have my own restaurant to run,” Osamu said. Takahashi rolled his eyes. “You can also visit me.”
“I have my own restaurant to run,” Takahashi said with a small laugh. “Speaking of, what can I start you off with?”
Your food came out quickly. Takahashi made polite conversation before leaving you two by yourselves.
“So, tell me about your childhood,” you said. “I feel like we only ever talk about me.”
“What do ya wanna know?” Osamu asked, taking a bite of his rice.
“What are your parents like?” You asked.
“My ma raised us alone,” Osamu said. He smiled before continuing. “Our dad wasn’t that great, he left when we were still babies.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said.
Osamu shrugged. “He wasn’t a great guy, anyway. Leaving was probably the best thing he ever did for us. He used to abuse my ma. He tried to come back when Tsumu and I were in high school, but we ran him off.”
“Ran him off?” You asked.
“He got a lil too hands-on with ma, and Tsumu and I kicked his ass out the door and told him not to come back,” Osamu said. “And that was the last time we saw him.”
You hummed. “Good for you, then.”
“But yeah, ma raised us by herself, never remarried or anything. She worked two jobs just to support us and put us through volleyball,” Osamu said. “But she never missed a game.”
“She sounds great,” you said, taking a sip of your drink.
“She is,” Osamu said, smiling fondly. “I can’t wait for ya to meet her.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” you said, smiling. “Tell me something else, I want to know everything.”
Osamu smiled at you before reaching across the table and grabbing your free hand.
“Tsumu and I have always been really competitive,” Osamu started. You smiled at him as he spoke.
“I really enjoyed the food,” you told Takahashi as he cleared off your table. “And thank you for the dessert, it was amazing.
“Anything for a friend!” Takahashi exclaimed, stacking the two empty plates in his hands. “And don’t worry about the bill, consider it on the house.”
“I owe you one,” Osamu said.
“I’ll take salted salmon onigiri and your miso soup any day of the week,” Takahashi said, smiling widely. “It was nice meeting you, and Miya-kun, it was nice seeing you again. Don’t be a stranger!”
“I’ll try to come by more often,” Osamu said. You both stood after Takahashi disappeared into the kitchen. Osamu grabbed your hand, pulling you out of the restaurant.
“That was nice,” you said, swinging yours and Osamu’s arms.
“It was,” Osamu agreed. “What do ya want to do now?”
“I don’t know, do you have anything in mind?” You asked.
“There’s a club I like that’s not too far from here,” Osamu said.
“That sounds fun,” you said, smiling. “You’re buying the first round of drinks.”
“Deal,” Osamu said. He stopped abruptly, tugging you into his chest and leaning down. “I love ya.” He pecked your lips.
“You keep saying that like the world’ll end if you don’t,” you teased, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him again.
“Jus’ don’t want ya to forget,” Osamu mumbled. “Gotta remind ya.”
“I think it’s sweet,” you said. You intertwined your fingers with his and brought his hand up to your lips. “I love you, too.”
You smiled as Osamu handed you a glass.
“One vodka cran for my princess,” he said, sliding into the booth next to you.
“Thank you,” you said. You took a sip of your drink and made a face. “A little light on the cran.”
“Lightweight,” Osamu teased. He tossed back his glass of whiskey and shivered. “Ugh.”
“Lightweight,” you mocked, elbowing his side. You downed your drink. “Dance with me?”
“Of course, anything my princess wants,” Osamu said. He pulled you out of the booth and onto the dance floor.
Osamu’s hands rested on your hips as you ground against him. It wasn’t long before Osamu was turning you around, pulling you against his body as his hips moved to the beat. Your bodies moved together, grinding and bumping against each other as the two of you felt the rhythm.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down to face you.
“Ya look like a goddess,” Osamu breathed in your ear. “Every guy in this club has his eyes on ya.”
You let out a shaky moan as Osamu’s hips dragged against yours.
“Come on,” Osamu mumbled, pulling you through the dancing bodies.
Osamu led you into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. He sat you on the edge of the sink, lips slotting against yours sloppily.
“Samu,” you said, running your hands up his shirt as he pushed your dress up around your waist. “Wanna feel you.”
“Later, princess,” he said, pushing his jeans down just enough to release his cock. “Gotta be in ya.”
He tugged your panties to the side and pressed the head of his cock flush against your entrance.
“I love ya,” he said, pecking your lips before pushing into you. You let out a high moan as he stretched you.
“Gen-gentle,” you stuttered. “Still sore from earlier.”
“Oh, princess, I got ya,” Osamu said, tip kissing your cervix. He held you tightly against him as he slowly thrusted into you. You moaned softly as you rested your head against his chest.
“Love ya so much, jus’ wanna fill ya with my babies,” Osamu said. You moaned, wrapping your legs around him and pulling him in deeper.
“Love you,” you moaned, kissing his neck. Osamu reached between you and rubbed your clit slowly, in time with his thrusts.
“Not gonna last,” he groaned. The fingers on your clit sped up. “Cream around my cock, princess.”
Your hands clenched in Osamu’s shirt as your stomach tightens. Your thighs trembled as you moaned in his ear.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Osamu groaned. His cock twitched as your walls clamped around him. You came with a soft moan, burying your face in his neck as Osamu filled you with cum.
“Samu,” you whined as he pulled out. A mix of yours and his cum slowly leaked out of your stretched hole.
“Hold on,” Osamu said, kneeling in front of you. He tossed your legs over his shoulders and licked a bold stripe up your cum coated folds.
“Osamu!” You exclaimed, legs twitching as his tongue licked deep into your hole. You moaned as he ate you out like a man starved, slurping up cum and spreading your pussy lips with his fingers to lick deeper.
“Taste so good with my cum leakin’ outta ya,” Osamu moaned. He stood up and kissed you, pushing cum into your waiting mouth. You moaned and swallowed instinctively.
You hummed and kissed him again. “Mmm, thank you,” you mumbled against his lips.
“Come on, I’m about ready to get ya outta that dress,” Osamu said, lifting you off the sink. Your legs shook as you stood up, and Osamu wrapped his arm around you to keep you steady.
“Let’s go home,” you said, smiling at him.
“Baby, no,” Osamu groaned as you sat up in your bed. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you back down against his chest.
“We’re supposed to meet the boys in an hour,” you said, struggling to escape Osamu’s iron grip around you. “I need to shower and get my stuff together.”
“Can’t we just cancel?” Osamu asked, holding you tighter. “Just, I wanna spend the day with ya. We can do whatever ya want.”
“Baby, we still have three free days before my mom gets back,” you said. “Let’s just go play this game and then we can come back home and spend the rest of the day in bed.”
Osamu pouted but let you go.
“Thank you,” you said, crawling over him. You pecked his lips before you rolled out of bed. “Come shower with me?”
Osamu was up immediately, following you to your bathroom.
Your shower lasted longer than it should’ve, thanks to Osamu. As soon as the water hit your body, his lips were glued to your skin, his hands on your waist. Before you knew it, you were pressed against the cool, shower wall as he fucked you from behind.
“We’re gonna be late,” you complained as you got dressed.
“Didn’t hear ya complainin’ when ya were cummin’ ‘round my cock, princess,” Osamu said, kissing your head.
You swatted him away, glaring at him.
“You’re insatiable,” you grumbled, tossing a pair of black spandex shorts in your gym bag.
“I’ll show ya insatiable,” he said, hugging you from behind. His hand slipped down the front of your skirt, teasing the edge of your panties as he sucked on your neck.
“Samu, no,” you said, making no move to push him off. You bucked against his hand as his fingers circled your clit.
“Come on, baby,” Osamu mumbled, lips pressed against your skin. “Let me make ya cum one more time.”
You huffed. “Five minutes, then we’re leaving.”
“More than enough.”
“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto exclaimed, hugging you tightly as you walked onto the court.
“Bokkun!” You exclaimed, smiling widely as he spun you around.
“Y/n-chan!” Hinata exclaimed, hugging you as soon as Bokuto sat you down.
“My favourite niece!” Atsumu shouted, running across the court to greet you. Sakusa followed after him, offering you a casual nod as Atsumu hugged you.
“I might as well not even be here,” Osamu said, crossing his arms.
“Osamu-kun!” Hinata exclaimed, throwing himself at the man. Osamu immediately caught him, and tossed him back on his feet.
“Just a hello would’ve been fine,” Osamu said.
You giggled as he walked over to you, gluing himself to your side.
“Let us go change and we can get started,” you said.
“Locker rooms are that way,” Sakusa said, pointing towards the end of the gym. “Hope you don’t mind using the men’s, the women’s is locked up today.”
“It’s fine,” you said, shrugging. You followed Osamu into the locker rooms and changed quickly.
“Hey,” Osamu called before you could walk out. You turned towards him. “I love ya.” He pecked your lips before following you out of the locker rooms.
“Okay, let’s play!” You exclaimed, clapping your hands together.
Hinata whooped loudly as he jogged towards you.
“We’re gonna crush them!” He exclaimed. Bokuto high fived you both as Osamu joined Atsumu and Sakusa.
“Let’s warm up first,” you said, smiling.
You stretched out, rolling your shoulders before getting into position. You set a few balls for both boys before Sakusa called for the game to start.
The game lasted five sets, your team winning three of them. After Hinata scored the last point, Bokuto pulled you into a tight hug, spinning you around.
“Aha! Suck it!” You shouted once Bokuto put you down. Atsumu flipped you off, smiling regardless.
“We let you win,” Osamu said, ducking under the net. You rolled your eyes as he pulled you into a hug.
“Oh, sure,” you said.
“No hugging the enemy!” Atsumu exclaimed. Sakusa slapped him on the back of the head before hugging you quickly.
“You’re good, probably better than Atsumu,” Sakusa said. You smiled widely.
“Thanks,” you said as Osamu wrapped his arm around your waist. Bokuto and Hinata both gave you a look.
“I have something to tell ya,” Osamu said. You cocked an eyebrow as you looked up at him. “M/n and I are getting a divorce.”
“Finally,” Bokuto groaned. “I couldn’t take her hitting on me every time we saw each other.”
“So, you’re with her daughter now?” Sakusa asked. Your face heated up as Osamu nodded.
“And this isn’t just you trying to get back at her for trying to sleep with us?” Sakusa asked.
“No, I love Y/n,” Osamu said, glancing down at you with a smile.
“And I love you,” you said.
“As sweet as that is, isn’t it a little fast?” Sakusa asked.
“Probably,” you said. “But who cares? My mom’ll probably be remarried by the end of the year.”
“We know the relationship is a little taboo,” Osamu said, “but we just can’t help it.”
“Pay up,” Hinata said, grinning widely as he held his hand out to Bokuto.
“Fuck you,” Bokuto grumbled, handing a bill over to Hinata.
“What exactly did you two bet on?” You asked.
“When you two would get together,” Hinata said. “Bokuto-kun bet it would be the next time you visited.”
“Should’ve known Osamu-kun would move fast,” Bokuto said, hair drooping.
“Atsumu obviously already knew,” Sakusa said. Atsumu smiled widely.
“It’s a twin thing,” he said.
“Shut up, you literally caught us,” you said, shoving the blond twin.
“But it was my twin senses which led me to catching you,” Atsumu said. You rolled your eyes.
“Anyway, lunch?” You asked.
“Baby, you promised,” Osamu groaned as you sat up in bed.
“Promised what?” You asked, stretching your arms out.
“We could spend one of our days in bed,” Osamu said, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you back down.
“One, I never promised that,” you said. “And two, I need to pee. Then I’ll come right back to bed.”
“Fine,” Osamu said, pouting. He released you from his hold. You hopped up and walked to the bathroom. You showered quickly and brushed your teeth before redressing in your pajamas (Osamu’s t-shirt and a pair of his boxers).
“Ya take too long,” Osamu grumbled as you crawled back into your bed. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest.
“I took ten minutes to shower and wash off, sue me,” you said, rolling your eyes.
Osamu rolled over, pulling you on top of him. “Why wash off when I’m about to make ya dirty again?”
You laughed. “That was so bad, Samu.”
Osamu pushed your shirt up and over your head, tossing it to the floor. He grabbed your breasts, squeezing them and teasing your nipples with his fingers.
“Samu,” you moaned, running your hands over his broad chest. “Let me.”
Osamu pulled his hands away from your skin as you leaned down. Your plush lips wrapped around his left nipple, your tongue teasing the cool, metal barbell as you pinched his other nipple with your fingers.
“Fuck,” Osamu hissed, lowly. His back arched as your free hand drifted to his half hard dick. You palmed him through his boxers, heart racing as you felt him harden beneath your touch.
You pulled back, a string of saliva still connecting you to Osamu. You pinched his swollen, spit-covered nipple, drawing out a high pitched moan from him as you switched to the other.
“Baby,” Osamu breathed, tugging your hair as you suckled his nipple. You hummed in response. “Feels good.”
You smiled against his skin as you continued to palm him. You pushed his boxers down, freeing his cock. You pulled away, straddling him.
“Wanna watch you,” you said, running your hands over his soft stomach.
“Watch me what, baby?” He asked, settling his hands on your hips.
“Wanna watch you get off,” you said. “Please, Samu, I wanna watch you touch yourself.”
“Why would I do that when yer right here?” He asked, moving your hips so you ground against his cock.
“Please,” you begged. “Please, I wanna know what you look like when you’re getting yourself off. Please, daddy, for me.”
Osamu sighed. “Fine, just for ya, princess.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you said, leaning down and kissing him. You moved off of him, watching as he kicked his boxers off.
Osamu wrapped his hand around the base of his cock and let out a shaky breath. He pumped himself once, twice before letting his free hand drift to his puffy nipples.
“Y/n,” he moaned, softly as you leaned back, pushing your hand under the waistband of Osamu’s boxers you were wearing.
“I’m right here, baby,” you said, reaching out with your free hand to touch his shoulder. He relaxed at your touch and pumped his length slowly.
“Doesn’t feel like ya,” Osamu whined as he thumbed his slit. You pressed two fingers against your clit as he gathered precum on his thumb.
“Let me taste,” you said, grabbing his arm. He lifted his hand to your face, letting you suck his thumb into your mouth, licking the precum away.
“Just want ya to touch me,” Osamu said as you hollowed your cheeks around his thumb.
“After you get yourself off,” you said, rubbing your clit in slow circles. Osamu whined as you let out a soft moan.
“Samu,” you moaned, rubbing your clit. “Let me see you.”
Osamu gripped his cock once again. Precum leaked down the side as he slowly pumped himself.
“Baby, take ‘em off,” he said, tugging at the boxers you were wearing. You pushed them down and spread your legs as Osamu watched you dip your fingers into your wet heat.
“Fuck,” he groaned, pinching his nipple and pumping his length faster. His thumb teased the metal barbell as he moaned.
“Samu,” you said, holding your wet fingers up to his face. He groaned at the scent and sucked your fingers into his mouth, licking them clean as he gently squeezed his balls.
“Please, please, I want you to touch me,” he moaned as you pulled your fingers away. You pushed his hands away and straddled him. His cock slotted neatly in your wet folds as you ground against him. You moaned as the head of his cock rubbed against your clit.
“So fuckin’ wet,” Osamu groaned, intertwining your fingers with his. “Just for me, isn’t that right, baby?”
“Just for you,” you moaned, rolling your hips furiously.
“Let me fuck ya,” he said. “Need to be in yer sweet cunt.”
You shook your head. “Sore from yesterday.”
Osamu’s head fell back with a groan. “And with any luck ya will be sore the rest of yer life.”
“Just- just cockwarming,” you said. Osamu nodded and carefully slid the tip into your wet heat.
“Son ofa bitch,” Osamu swore as your gummy walls clenched around him. He slowly bottomed out as you moaned in his ear.
“Oh,” you moaned as his fat cock stretched and molded your cunt. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your forehead against his. “Feels so good.”
“Takin’ my cock so well,” Osamu breathed. He wrapped his arms around you and leaned back against the headboard, holding you closely. “Good girl.”
Your walls tightened at his praise. You sighed as you rested against Osamu’s chest.
“I want this forever,” you mumbled.
“My cock?”
“You, dummy,” you said, smiling as you looked up at him. “I want you forever.”
“Ya can’t say shit like that,” Osamu said, rolling his hips. “Makes me wanna flip ya over and put yer ankles over my shoulders.”
“Do it,” you challenged. Osamu groaned as he flipped you over.
“Yer askin’ for it, lil girl,” he said, pushing your knees up to your chest. You moaned as he pulled out, only to snap his hips against your ass.
“Samu!” You exclaimed as he split you open over his cock.
“I love ya, baby,” he grunted, grabbing your ankles. You cried out as he spread your legs out. You fisted the sheets beneath you as he pounded into you.
“L-Love you,” you stuttered. His cock hit every spot in you, without trying. The cool metal that teased your walls only added to the stimulation.
“Want ya to squirt all over my cock, baby,” he said, putting one of your legs over his shoulder as he reached down to slap your clit. You squealed as he slapped it again before rubbing two fingers over it.
“S-Samu!” You cried as he pulled out. He grabbed your ankles with one hand and pushed them up, folding you in half.
“Such a cute, lil pussy,” he cooed, rubbing his fingers down your slit. Your walls fluttered around nothing. “She’s just cryin’ fer me.”
“Samu, please,” you cried. Osamu leaned down and spat directly in your hole before shoving three fingers in you.
“Clenchin’ ‘round my fingers like a whore,” he said. “Ya want my cock, baby?”
“Please, please!” You moaned loudly. “Samu, please, I want your cock in me!”
“Oh?” He asked, pressing the head of his cock against your clenching hole. He ran the head through your folds, pausing to tease your swollen clit and fluttering hole.
“Daddy!” You cried. “Daddy, I want it!”
Osamu pushed forward, shoving his cock in your tight core. You moaned as he bottomed out, the tip of his cock pressed against your cervix.
“Does my baby feel better with daddy’s cock in her?” Osamu cooed, dropping your legs on his shoulders.
You nodded. “Love daddy’s cock in me,” you moaned.
“I know, baby,” Osamu said. “Ya were made to take my cock. Isn’t that right, princess? Yer just a sweet, lil cocksleeve, meant to take daddy’s cock whenever he wants.”
“‘m jus’ daddy’s cocksleeve,” you moaned. “I was made to take daddy’s cock.”
“Good girl,” Osamu praised, slowly thrusting into you. “Yer gonna be my lil housewife, pregnant with my babies.”
You moaned, unable to speak as Osamu shoved three of his fingers in your mouth.
“Suck,” he ordered. You hollowed your cheeks, tears running down your cheeks as you gagged on his fingers. “Good girl.”
“Wanna be your good, little, housewife,” you moaned as he pulled his fingers away.
“Aw, baby, ya will be,” he said. He reached down to circle your clit. “Cream around my cock, baby.”
“Daddy,” you whined as your stomach tightened. Osamu thrusted into you harder. You cried out as your walls clamped around him, juices gushing.
“There’s my girl,” Osamu said, continuing to thrust into you. You whimpered as his cock twitched inside you.
“Cum in me, daddy, please,” you begged. “Breed me, breed me, I want you to fill me up!”
“Gonna give ya my babies,” he grunted. Osamu moaned loudly as your walls fluttered around him, finally milking an orgasm from him. His balls tightened as he filled you up. Cum dripped down your skin as he fucked you through his orgasm.
“Too much, too much,” you whined as Osamu rubbed your clit.
“Just one more,” he said. You whined as he pulled out. Quickly, before his cum could leak out, he pushed his fingers in you.
“Samu!” You whimpered as his thumb rubbed over your overly sensitive clit.
“Come on,” he grunted, rubbing your clit faster. You moaned loudly.
“Samu, Samu, Samu!” You moaned. He leaned down and wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking harshly as he fingered you.
“Cum in my mouth, princess,” he murmured. Your thighs shook as his tongue pressed against your clit.
“Samu!” You exclaimed as you squirted into his open mouth. A mixture of your juices and his cum dripped onto the sheets and down Osamu’s chin.
“That’s my good girl,” Osamu said, wiping his face with the back of his hand.
“You’re too much,” you huffed, relaxing into the bed. Osamu smiled at you as he laid next to you.
“Breakfast in bed?” He asked. You shook your head.
“We have to clean these sheets,” you said, glancing down at the wet spot below you.
“But then we can get back in bed, right?” Osamu asked.
You smiled and nodded. “After we eat and wash the sheets, sure. And you need a shower, you smell like sex.”
“Join me?” He asked.
“No funny business, Miya Osamu.”
“Omurice and onion soup for one princess,” Osamu said, setting a plate in front of you. You smiled at the cute, panda-shaped omurice.
“Thank you,” you said. Osamu sat next to you with his own plate.
“I was thinking tomorrow we could go visit the Izanagi shrine,” Osamu said, slurping his soup.
“I’ve never been to the Izanagi shrine,” you said.
“It’s dedicated to Izanagi and Izanami,” Osamu said. You nodded.
“Sounds good,” you said. “Izanami is the goddess of creation and death isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Izanagi was her husband. The moon and sun were born from his eyes.”
“That sounds interesting,” you said. “I’ll go.”
You ate in silence, apart from music playing from the tv in the living room.
“Back to bed?” Osamu asked after washing the dishes. You smiled and nodded.
“Back to bed,” you confirmed. Osamu lifted you easily and pecked your lips as he carried you back to bed. The freshly made bed was quickly ruined as Osamu laid you on your back, gently.
He kissed you softly before kissing down your neck. He made quick work of removing your tank top and sucking your left nipple into his mouth as he teased the other with his fingers. You moaned softly as he switched then continued to kiss down your stomach.
“Samu,” you said softly, threading your fingers in his hair.
“Jus’ let me take care of ya,” he breathed, running his fingers down your thighs, pulling your underwear down. You sighed as Osamu kissed up your inner thigh, stopping at your pubic area.
“Such a pretty pussy,” Osamu said, running his finger through your folds. “Gonna make ya cum on my tongue, princess.”
“Samu,” you moaned as he licked broadly up your slit. He moved your legs over his shoulders and wrapped his lips around your clit. He alternated between teasing it with his tongue and sucking at it softly.
“One or two?” Osamu asked.
“Two,” you said.
Osamu slowly pushed two fingers in your opening. Your mouth fell open with a low moan as he scissored you open and tongued at your clit.
“Osamu,” you moaned, tugging his hair. Osamu groaned, vibrating against your clit. “Oh?”
You gave another experimental tug, receiving the same response.
“Ya keep pulling my hair and I’m gonna fuck ya without finishing down here,” Osamu said, pulling away from you. You stared him in the eyes and pulled his hair again.
He moaned then glared up at you. “I wanted to treat ya real nice before I fucked ya again.”
“And I just want you in me,” you said. Osamu crawled up your body, hovering over you as he kissed you deeply.
“What my princess wants, she gets,” Osamu said. He kicked off his boxers and flipped you over so that you were on top.
“Want you in my mouth,” you mumbled, staring down at his hard cock. Your mouth was watering as his cock rested against his lower stomach, head swollen and dark pink, leaking precum.
“What was that, baby?” Osamu asked.
“Wanna suck you off,” you said, looking up at him. You scrambled down the mattress before he could say anything, spreading his legs slightly.
“G’head, baby,” he said, putting his hands behind his head as you placed a kitten lick to the leaking tip. You moaned at the salty taste.
You ran your tongue down his length, stopping to tease his balls. Osamu hissed as you sucked one in your mouth, gently running your tongue around it.
“Fuck, baby,” Osamu said, reaching down to grab your hair. You pulled back and pumped his cock once, twice, three times before taking the tip in your mouth. You hollowed your cheeks as you pumped the rest of his length.
“I know ya can take more than that,” Osamu said. You ignored him as your hand came up to play with his balls.
“Leave me alone,” you said, pulling back. “Just let me make you feel good.”
You took the tip back in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it. Slowly, you took more of his cock in your mouth until he hit the back of your throat. Tears burned at your eyes as you gagged. Osamu groaned and bucked his hips.
“Good girl,” Osamu groaned, pulling your hair gently. You moaned around him, bobbing your head and wrapping your hand around whatever couldn’t fit in your mouth. Your other hand squeezed his balls lightly.
“Fuck, gonna cum,” Osamu grunted as his balls tightened in your hand. You pulled back.
“Cum in my mouth,” you said. You wrapped your lips around the tip and sucked. Your tongue swirled around, moaning at the taste of his precum.
“Fuck, fuck,” Osamu swore, pushing your head down his length as he came down your throat. You swallowed most of it before crawling up the bed and meeting Osamu with a messy kiss. Spit and cum ran down your chins as your tongues danced together.
“I love you,” you mumbled, as Osamu wiped your chin clean with a discarded shirt before wiping his own.
“I love you, too, baby.”
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theycallme-thejackal · 2 years ago
Note
Love all of your writing! And oh the roses! A continuation please??
Pairing: Lenny Bruce & Midge Maisel Rated T
Part 1 | Part 2
There’s a moment before he gets on stage that she considers leaving. Her stomach’s in knots, and the martini is doing nothing to calm her nerves.
But she came all this way, and the truth is she’s curious. She wants to know why he was gone for so long. And why he’s reappeared now.
Lenny steps onto the stage, and when he gets to the mic, he looks out, almost immediately making eye contact with her.
He smiles slowly and begins.
It’s a fantastic set. Material she hasn’t heard before, and she finds her anger slowly fading, giving way to the undeniable affection she feels for him. She laughs like she hasn’t since Carnegie Hall, and by the end of his set, she’s almost forgotten why she was upset to begin with.
Almost.
“You actually made it.”
She takes a deep breath as she looks up at him, nearly as anxious as he was that morning in her apartment. “I actually did. You gonna sit?” She asks. “If we have this conversation while you’re standing I’m going to have some hellish neck pain in the morning.”
He smirks behind his hand. “I thought maybe we could go somewhere quieter,” he tells her. “I’ve got six months of explaining to do.”
Midge takes a beat to look up at him before rising from her seat. “You still buying?”
He tosses a drink ticket on her table. “And the next one I’ll pay with real cash.”
--
They end up at a quiet restaurant a couple blocks away, where they get a table in the corner and a couple of drinks. She takes a sip from her martini and curses her hand for shaking.
Lenny holds his glass between both hands, staring at it for a while. “I’m sorry I haven’t called,” he says after a long moment. “I had some...things to take care of.”
Midge raises a brow at him. “Things?” She questions, trailing her finger over the rim of her glass. “Did you also have to deal with some stuff?”
“Yeah, stuff that has to do with a little black bag and a tendency to pass out on dirty sidewalks.”
Her finger stops tracing her glass, and she looks up at him cautiously, waiting for him to continue. “At first I didn’t call because I was so mad at you. And then I started using more, and before I knew it...”
He’s tapping his fingers hard on his glass, and she has an almost uncontrollable urge to reach for him. Instead, she says, “All was not well.”
Lenny meets her gaze for a moment before dropping it to the table. “I was ashamed, Midge,” he admits quietly. “I never wanted you to see that side of me. It’s why I was such an ass that morning at your apartment. It’s why I avoided you right after Carnegie Hall.”
Midge stirs her drink with her toothpick of olives. “Only right after?”
“The first couple months,” he answers. “After that I wasn’t so much avoiding you as being denied phone privileges.” She furrows her brow. “The facility where I was drying out has pretty strict rules about communicating with the outside world.”
Her gaze softens at that. “You were in rehab,” she deduces.
Lenny nods. “For three months in San Francisco. Only people I was allowed to communicate with were immediate family, so just Ma and my kid.”
“As your wife-slash-sister, I’m a little hurt,” she quips gently.
A soft smile meets his lips at that. “Anyway,” he says quickly, taking a sip from his previously untouched whiskey, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but I didn’t want you to see me like that. And it’s important to me that you know...I wasn’t high that night.”
Midge nods slowly. “Good,” she breathes.
“And...” He scoffs out a nervous laugh. “Maybe we could be friends again?”
She hates the way her heart sinks. “Friends,” she breathes, receiving a little smile in reply.
Is she going nuts or does that smile look sort of...sad?
She shakes her head. “No,” she says. “No, I don’t want to be friends, Lenny.”
His eyes meet hers, and he nods slowly. “Okay,” he whispers. “I guess...I can respect that.”
“No, Lenny - ” She reaches out, taking his hand. “I’ve missed you,” she explains. “I’ve missed my friend, but...I want more.”
He lifts the hand not in hers, rubbing his mouth as he watches her. “You do?” He asks after an almost painfully long moment.
Midge scoots closer to him, threading their fingers together. “I do.”
He cups her face with his hand before leaning in and kissing her slowly.
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taestefully-in-luv · 4 years ago
Text
Always You | JJK (Three)
Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?
Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama
Word Count: 10.4k
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (?),oc and jungkook being adorable bffs, shady tae, oral (female receiving), vaginal fingering, mentions of sex, vaginal intercourse, hickeys, orgasms,
Notes: I actually really enjoyed writing this part! Where’s my bff for bff bubble bath? Lmaaoo. Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to read. Don’t forget to send me an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or if you just want to chat about the story!
Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredescarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @jkslachimolala
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous----Next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You want me to what now?” your voice is unnecessarily high pitched.
“Meet my parents.” Taehyung gives you that awkward Chrissy Teigen meme smile. “Listen—I know it sounds crazy and horrifying but they’re really nice…”
“But why?”
“It’s my fault…I didn’t consider having my sister on social media…and I keep posting you and she told my parents and they’re real excited about me having a girlfriend…and I don’t want to crush them.”
You and Taehyung are seated on your living room couch, enjoying a lazy Thursday afternoon after classes. He brings his cup of water to his lips and takes some generous gulps.
“Listen, y/n I will literally pay another month’s worth of coffee…please just think about it.”
More free coffee? Fuck, that’s kind of a steal considering how expensive that shit is and you no doubt have an addiction.
“…fine…” you say hesitantly, “when?”
“Really?” Taehyung lights up like a spot light, “Well, I was thinking this weekend?”
“T-This weekend? That soon? Which day?”
Taehyung showcases a sheepish grin as he rubs the back of his neck, a habit of his no doubt.
“Like, the whole weekend.”
Your eyebrows crawl to the top of your head as you gape at him, “What do you mean?”
“Like, we would get there in time for dinner on Friday, then stay all day Saturday and leave Sunday morning before they leave for church. Unless you wanna go to church with th—”
“No, not really.” You run your fingers through your long strands, “Holy shit, okay we are doing this.” You nod to yourself, “What’s our story? You know they’re going to ask.”
“Huh? Uh…just the truth. I met you through Jungkook and we hit it off and we started dating.”
You sigh to yourself, wishing that were actually true.
“Just be yourself, y/n.” Taehyung smiles at you. You beam back at him, and his boxy smile only grows wider. “They’ll like you, it’s not that hard to…” his hand reaches for yours, your palms are a bit sweaty since you are feeling like a nervous wreck at the thought of meeting his parents.
Suddenly, the front door swings open and in comes your best friend (who is still mad at you). He walks in slowly eyeing the two of you on the sofa. He notices Taehyungs hand wrapped around yours and Taehyung quickly pulls away. Jungkook takes a look at your face, you’re lost in thought, nibbling on your bottom lip.
Jungkook is yes, still mad at you but also, since he jacked it to your face he is being a little nicer. But as much as he has tried not to have those type of thoughts of you before, it’s not like he hasn’t. So, he’s gotten good at pretending all is well.
“What’s with her?” Jungkook pries, walking closer to the sofa.
“Noth—”
“I’m meeting Tae’s parents.” You cut in to say.
Jungkook’s brows crease as he looks between you and Taehyung. He shakes his head in disbelief, stepping closer to the two of you.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jungkook mutters under his breath. “You’re going this far?” now Jungkook’s face is tilted towards Taehyung. “Why are you going this far dude?” Taehyung stands to his feet, “I—”
“No man, you’ve already dragged her into your shit and now you want her to what, meet your parents?” Jungkook’s voice rises in volume and you start to feel uneasy. Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook—”
“End this.” Jungkook spits out, getting in Taehyungs face. “How is this fair for her…”
You stand up too, your hand pulling him back by the shoulder. “Jungkook stop.” Your voice is unusually calm.
“I’m helping Tae out because we’re friends and also, ya know, free coffee.” Jungkook turns to face you, his teeth gritting in frustration.
“You have no idea what you’re doing.” Jungkook whispers. And with that he takes one more look at Taehyung, shakes his head in disapproval and walks off towards his room.
You and Taehyung continue to stand there in silence, you feel embarrassed because of Jungkook’s actions and ashamed you didn’t do more to stop him. Taehyung on the other hand looks completely defeated.
“I’m sorry about Jungkook I don’t know why he—”
“I should go,” Taehyung cuts you off, he gives you a weak smile before grabbing his things and heading towards the door.
“Are we still on for this weekend?” you sway from side to side, feeling as awkward as you probably look.
Taehyung doesn’t answer right away, instead he rubs the back of his neck with a frown decorating his face. Finally, he meets your eyes and offers another weak smile.
“Yeah, I’ll pick you up at 4 tomorrow.” He doesn’t wait for a response as he is already walking out the door, closing it softly behind him.
You’re left alone in the living room with nothing but a cold, empty couch and your million racing thoughts. Why is Jungkook so against you and Tae? Maybe Jungkook is afraid that you’ll become so close with Tae that he thinks you’ll replace him…but you know in your heart of hearts Jungkook is irreplaceable. Why can’t Jungkook understand that? You haven’t been spending as much time with him lately and maybe that’s the problem. What can’t a drunken slumber party not solve?
You knock on his door, waiting for a ‘come in’ but it never comes. So you knock again. And again. Until finally Jungkook swings open the door with a frustrated sigh and pained look on his face.
“Look, before you scold me—”
“Actually, I had an idea.” You say quickly.
“Oh?” Jungkook’s features relax.
“It’s been a while since we’ve had one of our BFF slumber parties.” You slant your head to the side, a sly smile forming on your lips.
Jungkook stares at you for a few seconds before his eyes fill with something interesting.
“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “it’s been a while.”
“What do you say? Tonight? Me and you? Wine? Anime? Video games? BFF bubble bath?”
“Wow, you want the works.” Jungkook grins. “But you realize I’m still…” he takes a deep breath when he notices your worried, pleading eyes. “Step into my office and we can discuss the details.” He says, opening his door wider, inviting you inside.
His room looks clean besides the few articles of clothing scattered on the ground. He has a scented candle going and LoFi music playing lowly on his speakers. Lofi and candle? He only has that combo when he’s stressed and trying to calm down.
You take a seat on the edge of his made bed, and Jungkook follows you, also taking a seat on his bed next to you.
“14% and up only for the wine.” He states.
“Agreed. Action or horror for the anime.” You pitch in.
“Agreed. Mario Kart for the video game.”
“Agreed. Life altering secrets only for BFF Bubble Bath.”
Jungkook chews on his lips as he thinks of your request. “Okay.”
You clap your hands excitedly for tonight, your chest bubbling with happiness. This is what you and Jungkook need.
~~~~~~
Jungkook is even more excited for BFF slumber party night than you are. He’s missed you. There’s been a real disconnect with the two of you lately and thinks tonight is exactly what the two of you need. He is just coming home from buying 4 bottles of 16% wine and lots of snacks. He got the salty, the sweet and the sour. Feeling proud of his choices, he sets the groceries down and calls for you.
You walk out from the bathroom with a facemask glued to your face with another packet in your hand,
“For you, sir.”
Jungkook chuckles as he grabs the pack from your hands, “Okay, I’ll go put this on, while you pour us some wine.” He nods towards the bottles.
You happily oblige. You grab the cork screw from its designated place in the kitchen drawer and begin to open the first bottle of wine. It opens smoothly, without a hitch.
“Wow…engineering is amazing.” You whisper to yourself in awe.
“What’s amazing?” Jungkook walks into the kitchen, you take a long look at his appearance. The white facemask making him look like a ghost.
“Your face.” You chuckle, a finger going up to touch the material on his skin.
You twirl to face the kitchen cabinets and pull out two wine glasses for you and your BFF and poor a gracious amount of wine in each. You hand him the glass and you clank the glasses together in cheers.
“To us.” You chirp happily, chugging back a gulp of your drink.
Jungkook just watches as you wince at the disgusting flavor and cackles to himself before taking a sip of his own drink.
The two of you grab the bottle of wine and your glasses and make your way into the living room.
“Alright we go by the normal house rules, whichever place you get is how many seconds you chug your drink.” You explain.
“Are you talking to an imaginary audience y/n? I already know the rules.” Jungkook teases.
“I was just trying to get the competitive mood going.” You poke your tongue out, Jungkook is quick to try to grab it between his fingers.
“Ugh, you are so gross.” You groan.
“You love it.” Jungkook smiles so wide his eyes begin to disappear. “Well, let’s play!”
One thing you absolutely can’t stand but also completely adore about Jungkook is that he is a sore loser. And also an ungracious fucking winner.
“You SUCK!” Jungkook cackles obnoxiously in your face, “Like I hope you enjoy chugging for five—no, SIX seconds you mother fuckin loser.” He continues to laugh loudly much to your annoyance but a part of you feels warm that he is having so much fun. You haven’t seen him laugh like this in weeks.
“Okay I get it.” You roll your eyes so far back into your head all you see is whites.
This was the 3rd time in a row you’re getting 6th place, your vision is started to blur at the amount of alcohol you’ve chugged. But only a little, nothing you can’t handle.
“Okay y/n let’s stop now, we can watch some anime while we order some pizza?” he grins your way. “I vote Tokyo ghoul. And the rule is we drink every time Kaneki is fucking cry baby.”
“Well damn, guess we’re getting fucked up.” You declare. You and Jungkook laugh to yourselves at the thought.
The show is on, pizza has been ordered. Life is good. You sneak a glance at Jungkook as he pays attention to the show on screen. You smile when he smiles, you smile when he laughs, you smile when he pouts. Jungkook finally manages to notice you staring at him and snaps his head to you.
“What?” he asks with a toothy grin.
“Nothing…” you sing, your bright smile rivaling the light coming from the TV.
It’s been several hours, two medium pizzas have been demolished, 4 wine bottles have been drank and lots of anime has been watched. You and Jungkook sit on the sofa wrapped in blankets, neither one of you wanting to get up to turn the fan off.
“So cold.” You slur.
“Come closer.” Jungkook slurs back.
“Or we can warm up with BFF Bubble Bath?” you offer, leaning your head on his shoulder.
Jungkook zones out for a second, thinking of your request.
“Been a while since we had one of those, huh?” he finally says something.
“yeah, which is a real shame, isn’t it? I mean, we literally get into our swim suits, draw a hot bubble bath, get in sitting opposite of each other and tell each other our secrets, our hopes and dreams. Then we make a wish that the other person HAS to support and we can’t tell anyone else or else it won’t come true.” You mumble mostly to yourself.
“y/n…once again are you speaking to an imaginary audience?” he chuckles, “I know what a BFF Bubble Bath is.”
“Then hurry up and draw that bubble bath mister know it all.”
Jungkook stares at himself in the mirror, he’s got on his red swim trunks. His hair is a fucking mess, and his eyes are giving away how intoxicated he is but he’s got this dopey smile on his face that he decides is a good look on him. He looks happy. He feels happy.
You walk into the bathroom and eye your best friend. You can’t help but drop your gaze to his thighs, God, you love when he wears tight pants or shorts.
“What’s up buff guy?” you tease, grabbing a hold of his bicep.
“Shut up” Jungkook shudders from your touch. Then he takes one long look at you and he wants to faint. You’re also wearing a red swim suit, it’s one of those strapless kind. The two of you eye each other up and down, observing your matching swim suits and shoot each other some finger guns.
“hehe…well, shall we?” you say, gesturing towards the bubble filled tub.
Jungkook nods his head yes and motions for you to step in first.
The water is hotter than you are expecting, your toes wet with lava. But it’s just how you like it, you have both legs in as you begin to sink deeper into the bubbled water.
“come on in” you wave Jungkook over, he drunkenly stumbles forward until he’s wincing at the hot water that meets his skin.
“You’re really the queen of Hell if this temperature is enjoyable to you.” He deadpans.
“Why thank you, does that make you my loyal servant?”
“ha-ha.”
You and Jungkook stare at each other for a while, enjoying the drunken haze.
“So anything new going on with you?” you begin to pry.
You prying is never a good thing but you can never help yourself. His past is such a mystery to you and it drives you nuts. You’re supposed to be best friends yet he can’t even tell you about his parents without it getting real awkward. He knows all about your family history, but all you know about his is that his dad cheated the whole marriage and his mom finally left him for it—leaving Jungkook behind as well. You understand why it must be hard to talk about but...doesn’t he want to confide in you? You of all people?
“Not really.” Jungkook fingers play with the bubbles at his chest.
“Any girls? Like not just hookups but—”
“Don’t worry about that.”
Such a fucking Jungkook thing to say, it’s always ‘don’t worry about that y/n’ and never ‘let me actually tell you some real information y/n’.
“Jungkook,” you wine into the bubbles.
“Hm?”
“Don’t you have a girl you like???” and suddenly drunk y/n doesn’t want to know this answer. Would sober you?
Jungkook looks down at his wrinkling hands and doesn’t know what to say. Does he?
“No.” is the answer he settles for. And suddenly relief is washed over you.
You want to ask him the thing you are most curious about—his family. But he has said it a million times to you every time he’s asked—its ‘a touchy subject’.
“Ask about it.” He suddenly says, “I know you want to.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about, yes indeed I have no clue.” You slur.
“Y/N.” he warns.
“Fine…when’s the last time you talked to your dad? I know he made mistakes…but I also know he has tried reaching out to you over and over. He calls almost every day Jungkook! Maybe he’s changed. I know your mom left because of everything and you blame your d—”
“Mom…” he begins to cut you off. You notice his eyes gloss over and you feel your heart drop. Jungkook rarely cries and rarely cries in front of anyone. Then he’s clearing his throat, “You’re right. Moms not in the picture anymore and I do blame dad.”
“I hate that your mom left you Jungkook…” you say softly. “She’s the worst for that,”
“You have no idea.” Jungkook breathes out. “Let’s change the subject, please.”
“But—”
“Please, y/n.” his eyes are pleading and you feel your heart drop again. You wonder if he will ever be ready to talk about it.
“Actually…” he awkwardly plays with the bubbles in front of his chest, “There’s something I want to say.”
“What is it?” you can’t help but feel anxious all the sudden.
Jungkook avoids your eyes as he plays with the bubbles, he takes a few deep breaths before lifting his head.
“I’m sorry.”
You tilt your head, “Sorry for what?”
“I’ve…” Jungkook scrunches his face up, contemplating what to say. “I’ve been really unfair to you. I should of never treated you this way…I don’t know what came over me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was hurt, yes, that you chose Taehyung over me but since the beginning I’ve been such an asshole. Fuck, y/n…” his voice cracks, “I’m so sorry. I just wish I could…” he pauses, shaking his head. “No, it’s nothing. I just hope you’ll be careful with Taehyung.” He shakes his head again, “Oh my god, I am so selfish.” He laughs pathetically. “I’m sorry…”
You stay quiet for several moments, you want to agree with him. Yeah it was fucked up what you did, but he wasn’t any better this whole time.
“Why were you such an asshole?” you finally ask.
“Don’t worry about it y/n.” GOD DAMN. You are tired of that response!
You scoff, “And why are you so wary of Taehyung? I don’t get it!”
“Can you just trust me? Please?”
“I’ll just trust my own judgment for now…”
“y/n…” then he is looking into your eyes more seriously, “I’m sorry.”
You bite your lip as you think about his apology. Is he sorry? By the looks of it, yes. But he was so childish…you decide to grab his hand and play with his fingers. He stares down at your hands and smiles softly.
“Will you behave?” you tease lightly. Your fingers weaving through his. He looks up at you with his big doe eyes and nods his head slowly.
“Yes.”
“Then I will forgive you for now but you’re on thin fucking ice, buddy.”
Jungkook can’t help but laugh a little. “Yes mam.”
“Fine!” you say clasping your hands together, “Secret time!”
“Oh great,” Jungkook chuckles. “You first”
“Okay, hmmmmm.” You hold your chin up in deep thought. “Okay I got one I have never told you.” You grin mischievously.
“Okay, go for it.”
“When I was really drunk I most definitely made out with Trina.”
“Yeah, I was there. I’m the one who told you that you should kiss her. I said kiss though, like a peck. But your ass added tongue and all.”
“Wait what? Why would you tell me to do that!”
“I thought it would be hot.” He shrugs.
“Wack.” You slap his hand, “Your turn.”
“Ummm…” Jungkook leans back in the tub, “I’m the one who told Jimin to dare me to kiss you our freshmen year.” Jungkook says just above a whisper. He’s been holding in that secret for 3 years.
“Wait, what?” you ask, totally off guard.
“Yeah.” Is all he responds with.
“You wanted to kiss me back then?”
“Wasn’t it obvious considering how things escalated…”
Your eyes expand in size, the memory of that night flashing in your mind.
“We agreed to never talk about it, ya know, to save our friendship and what not.” You point out.
The bubbles cover your bathing suit perfectly so little was left to the imagination. Jungkook keeps eyeing the swell of your breasts and the pop of your collarbones, you look naked if he has to be honest. And if he has to be honest it was starting to turn him on. Should that be a secret he shares?
“Jungkook?” you say for the 4th time trying to get him out of whatever drunken daze he was in.
“Huh?” he comes back down to earth. “What did you say?”
“I said, what are your dreams?”
“You know them already,” he shrugs.
“Video editor still?”
“Yeah. Maybe Director.” He smiles timidly, “What about yours?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Well, you’re in school for marketing. So something with that?”
“I just chose that because I know I can find a job in the field.” You sigh.
Jungkook studies your features, you look troubled. He leans forward to grab your hands again and says , “Whatever you wanna do, you’ll be great at it,”
You crease your brows together and a pout forms on your lips, “You think so?”
“I know so.”
The two of you smile at one another until you break the silence, “Its getting too hot we should get out soon.”
“Agreed.” Jungkook nods his head.
“Alright let’s make our wishes that we MUST support.” You stick your pinky out for Jungkook to take, “I’ll go first.” Then you become shy with your next words, “I wish Taehyung would feel the same way about me I do about him.”
Jungkook’s smile falters but he takes your pinky anyway.
“My turn…I just…I wish you will be happy.”
You widen your eyes, “Wow,” you say, “What a selfless wish. You shouldn’t waste it on me!”
“It’s my greatest wish right now though…” he slurs his words.
You can’t help but smile as you take his pinky in promise.
Now in some fresh pajamas, you and Jungkook both stand in front of his bedroom door. The two of you are pretty damn drunk but holding it together quite nicely. He sways from side to side with that bunny smile and you can’t help but lean in for a hug. He takes a moment but he hugs you back. You pull away much too quickly for his liking.
“Hey y/n…”
“Yeah?”
Jungkook clears his throat a few times, his eyes darting all around the place, “Could you ever…hate me?”
“Never.” You answer quickly.
Jungkook is hit with a wave of guilt, a wave so big it comes crashing and knocking him down.
“Would if…no, never mind.”
“Never.” You say again.
Jungkook’s smiles fades a bit before a new smile takes over.
“I understand. Goodnight y/n.” and he leans down and places a kiss on your cheek. “sleep well.”
Fire. You feel the burn of fire. His kiss lingered for a second too long because you are burning. His kiss was scorching hot and you can’t help but melt from the heat. You are left speechless. From a kiss on the cheek.How did a kiss on the mother fucking cheek have you reacting this way?
“G-Goodnight Jung—” but the door is already softly closing in your face before you can finish your sentence.
~~~~~
The sun is coming through the blinds in the most offending way, you want to open your eyes and start the day but you just cannot. You have a raging headache from all the wine you quickly drank and you come to accept your fate—you’re hungover. As hell. You crack one eye open to see the time on the clock: 1:52pm
Immediately you sit up in bed, realizing you have slept way too long. How late did you and Jungkook stay up last night? Oh, last night. You smile softly at the memories of the night before. It was a perfect BFF slumber party. You haven’t seen Jungkook that happy in a while and you wonder if the same goes for you.
But then reality sets in—Taehyung is going to be here in 2 hours and you haven’t even thought about what you’re packing for your trip. You still need to eat, shower and get ready. You begin to mentally pack for your trip when you hear a single knock on your door before its opening up and a wild Jungkook appears.
“Morning sleepyhead.” He says with his signature bunny grin on his face.
“Jungkook! Help me pack!” you jump out of bed and walk to your closet, dragging out an oversized overnight bag.
“Like, parent appropriate clothes—I am freaking out by the way. I am meeting Tae’s parents and would if they don’t like me?”
“Relax, relax.” Jungkook walks inside your closet, bringing out a few clothing options. “They’re going to love you.”
“Do you…” you chew on your bottom lip, “Do you think your parents would have loved me?” you ask cautiously.
Jungkook freezes. He is silent for several long moments, making you believe you should not have asked that. But then he turns to face you with a strange smile, “Mom and dad would have adored you.” Then he pats your shoulder. “I put in some good options by the way.” He says pointing to the bag.
“Oh thanks.” You say totally caught off guard. “Okay I’m going to shower can you please, pretty please make me something to eat? I will love you forever.”
“You already love me forever.” Jungkook states matter of fact. “But sure, but don’t blame me if you don’t like what I make.”
“Oh god, you’re making me instant ramen aren’t you?”
“Love you.” He says, walking out of your room.
~~~~~~
“I made a playlist for our drive.” Taehyung hands you his phone, “It’s called ‘Meet the Parents’” he laughs to himself, pointing at the playlist on the screen for you to click.
“The first song is called ‘Please love me’ by Colde” you chuckle, “You think you are funny, don’t you?”
“Maybe a little” he smirks. “But really, relax. My parents are chill, they’re gonna like you, I promise.
“Well, we have a 2 hour drive Tae Tae.” Taehyung blushes hard at the nickname and for once it does not go unnoticed by you.
“I have a question for you y/n…”
You quirk a brow at his curiosity, “What is it?”
“How do you have the opportunity to fake date me? Like, don’t you have someone you like or guys chasing after you?”
“Oh I don’t have much luck with that.” You answer honestly. “With dating and such.”
“And why’s that?” he pries deeper.
“To be honest most guys I have dated end up dumping me if I don’t…”
“Don’t what?”
You grip your purse in your lap, your hold so tight your fingers become sore.
“Dump Jungkook.” You breathe out, “They were always so jealous of him…and… gave me a choice. Them or him,” you pick at the material of your purse, “I always chose Jungkook.” You huff, “Besides I didn’t like those guys that much anyway.”
Taehyung is quietly listening to you, nodding his head at your words. Once at a stop light he turns to face you,
“Yet when I asked you to dump Jungkook, you did.” He points out in a hushed tone.
“I…” you pause, thinking carefully on what to say. “I guess I did.”
Taehyung smiles. But it isn’t his boxy grin, it’s an odd smile. You become anxious, “But it’s more complicated than that.”
“Right.” Taehyung says before facing the road again, accelerating through the green light.
“How did you and Jungkook becomes so close anyway?”
You can’t help but simper.
“Well, we met at a frat party but ended up at a 24 diner until like 9 the next morning. We just—we just really hit it off. I felt like I could say or be anything in front of Jungkook and he would always just give me a silly look and accept whatever it is, whatever I am. You know when you just vibe with someone so well?” you ask, not really expecting an answer.
“Well that was us. We could say anything and still always want to continue the conversation. We ended up taking some of the same classes and studied together then that turned into regular hang outs and then it was like bam—I was with him almost every day.” You smile fondly at the memories.
Taehyung glances at you, he wears a sad smile as he asks, “Have either of you ever caught feelings for the other?”
You choke on the air around you, “What?” then that night from freshmen year flashes in your mind, “No…no.” you say trying to convince him, or is it to convince yourself?
The next few minutes are pretty quiet during the drive, but nothing awkward. You unzip your purse to pull out your phone to see you have unread messages from Jimin.
Jimin 5:30pm
Hey babe, heard you were going to meet Tae’s parents
Jimin 5:31pm
How is Jungkook feeling?
y/n 5:44pm
what do u mean
Jimin 5:45pm
y/n…nothing girl
y/n 5:45pm
????
Jimin 5:46pm
It’s really nothing. Anyway
Jimin 5:46pm
You and tae huh
Jimin 5:46pm
I am happy for you and tae…if that’s what you really want
You stare down at the phone in your hands, contemplating whether to tell Jimin the truth. He is one of your best friends after all.
y/n 5:55pm
tbh with u jimin…im not really dating tae..were just pretending to get this girl off his back
Jimin 5:56pm
What???? Really?? Wait, what girl?
y/n 5:57pm
Some chick named Anna
Jimin 5:57pm
Wait…Anna…?
Incoming call: Jimin
“Are you going to answer that?” Taehyung asks from beside you.
You want to but you two are pulling into his parents drive way and you don’t want your first impression to be that you were on your phone, so you send Jimin a quick text that you can’t talk.
You and Taehyung step out of the car and his parents are already standing outside on the porch. His father has his wife in his arms, they look happy to see Taehyung—they look happy in general.
“Oh! My baby bear!” his mother strides forward until Taehyung is wrapped in her loving arms. She sways their bodies back and forth as she smiles and laughs, the joy of having her son with her evident.
Taehyungs dad is about the same, he pulls him in for a tight hug and scolds him for not visiting more. Then it is your turn. You stand there awkwardly but not for long because Taehyungs mother is embracing you all the same.
“I have seen lots of pictures of you! But you are even prettier in person!” she gushes, her hands holding yours. You can’t help the blush that creeps up on your face as she speaks to you.
“Why don’t you two come inside?” his father gestures towards the house, “We got dinner nice and hot.”
Taehyung blushes as he watches his parents interact with you, he knew they would warm up to you fast but still it makes his heart race.
Dinner goes by quickly, his parents talking a storm. They begin sharing childhood stories about Taehyung and show you baby pictures as he sits there protesting. His pouting face is so cute you could die.
“And here he is with just a towel!” his mom squeals. “But I am sure you have seen that view already.”
“mom…” Taehyung draws out the word in a whine. You just giggle as she continues to show you pictures of baby Tae Tae.
Finally, Taehyungs sister joins the party and she teases him just as much as their parents. You feel right at home with the Kim’s. They are warm and inviting and make you feel so…at peace.
“Oh!” Mrs. Kim pauses, “look at the time!” she points down at her watch that rests on her left wrist.
“It’s gotten so late, my my. Well, us old folks are heading to bed. You two should get some rest as well.” She motions towards you and Taehyung. “Taehyung can show you the room you two will be staying in.”
“Room? As in singular?” you sputter out.
“Well, we only have one room open. One bed.” She juts her lip out innocently. “I figure you two are a couple so…”
“Yeah, we will be fine.” Taehyung cuts in. “Get some rest mom…dad.” He nods towards his father.
One room? One bed? With The Kim Taehyung. Granted that yes, you have become like, friends with Tae so you are more comfortable. But to share a room? Share a bed?
You follow Tae up the stairs and down the hall to a bedroom. It has a single queen size bed in the middle of the room against the wall. You feel flustered like it’s the first time you spoke to him.
“I can sleep on the floor if you want.” Taehyung offers with a shy smile and all your worries vanish. That’s right, Taehyung is a gentlemen and you have nothing to worry about.
“No, it’s fine” you assure him, “We are adults Tae, we can share a bed.”
Your hangover still lingers and the drive is starting to take its toll, your eyes feeling heavy as sleep invites you to visit.
“Let’s sleep.” You yawn out.
Taehyung nods his head with a smile and walks towards the bathroom, “I’ll get ready for bed in here,” he motions towards the bathroom, “and you can change in here. Just let me know when you’re done.”
“Alrighty”
You fall asleep quickly, letting your dreams take over for the night.
Winter break just started and you are supposed to go see your parents but when you found out your new friend Jungkook was going to be spending the holidays alone in his dorm you just could not let that slide.
“It’s not a big deal, y/n. I’m used to it.” He states in a plain fashion.
“it IS a big deal JK. My parents can handle one Christmas without me, but I am afraid you cannot.” You say with a smirk.
“Why are you doing this for me?” Jungkook is typing away on his laptop working on a last minute assignment his professor is letting him turn in late.
“Because even though I’ve only known you for like, 4 months, you’re like my closest friend here.”
“Don’t act like you have a closer friend somewhere else”
“Why do you have to call me out like that?”
Jungkook snickers, click clacking away on his keyboard, “Finally, I’m finished.” He says closing the laptop. Jungkook looks up at you.
“Go catch your flight y/n.” he says with a soft smile.
“Not happening.” You say more seriously.
Jungkook just stares at you for a long while and you stare right back. When the two of you look into one another’s eyes it’s never weird or awkward. You always relish in it.
“You’re something else aren’t you?” he breaks into a toothy grin. “What would we do anyway?”
“We can have a slumber party? And call it BFF slumber party.”
“Sounds fun” Jungkook stands from his rolling chair and sits on the edge of his bed with you.
“You know, you might be the best friend I have ever had.” He whispers.
Christmas passes by in a flash and NYE’s is right around the corner. Your friends are going to be back for NYE’s because of all the parties that required all of your attendances.
New Year’s eve has arrived and you sit in your dorm with Trina as the two of you get ready for the night.
“I hope Stephanie is going to be there tonight…” Trina mumbles under her breath, “If not this outfit is a complete waste.”
You giggle as you apply your red lipstick in the mirror. You get a text from Jimin that he and Jungkook are already headed to the party so you rush Trina to get ready to go.
The party is booming. There are decorations everywhere, people everywhere, and drinks everywhere. You sip on a few beers, wanting to stay at least a little sober so you remember the night, and you hope Jungkook isn’t too trashed either.
Hours pass, lots of dancing goes down and more drinks go down…your throat. It was all fun and games until Jimin called for your group of friends to head to a bedroom to play an innocent game of truth or dare.
You stick to Jungkook’s side as the two of you stumble up the stairs, laughing loudly and holding hands to keep each other stable.
You all sat in a circle in the room, talking and laughing until Jimin clanked a glass with a spoon like a fancy bitch to get everyone’s attention.
“Okay first, lets start with Trina! Truth or Dare?” Jimin smirks.
“Dare, obviously.”
“Okay,” Jimin thinks for a few moments, “I dare you to flash everyone your tits.”
“Oh? Is that all?” Trina says as she quickly lifts her shirt. She was already braless. You and Jungkook cackle at the scene unfolding.
“Okay, Hobi…truth or dare?”
“Dare.” He says with an excited grin.
“Dare you to take 3 shots in a row.”
And the night went on like this until it was Jimins turn again,
“Jungkook, truth or dare?” Jimin had an evil glint in his eye, you should of known he was up to no good.
“Dare.” Jungkook says with a cocky smile.
“I dare you to kiss y/n.”
“y/n?” Taehyung shakes you a bit more, “y/n?”
“Huh?” you begin to open your eyes and take in your view. You are in a small bedroom, there are posters on the wall and a small desk next to the bedroom door. And most importantly a Kim Taehyung in front of your face.
“What…What time is it?” you ask, sleep still evident in your voice.
“9:00” he grins down at you. “We’re going strawberry picking today, get dressed!”
You rub your eyes, trying to rid yourself of the sleep that crusted them but it is no use, you are still exhausted.
“I dare you to kiss y/n.”
Why? Why did you dream that memory? You shake your head trying to rid yourself of the lingering dream in your mind. That was a long time ago, time to move on.
You quickly shower and get dressed and meet Taehyung and his parents for breakfast.
“Wow, smells good!” you inhale the air, while smiling sweetly to Mrs. Kim.
“Do you cook y/n?” she asks, looking eager to know.
“Yeah, I do. Well, sometimes.” You laugh to yourself “My roommate is useless in the kitchen so someone has to cook.”
“That’s great!” Mrs. Kim exclaims, nodding approvingly to her husband. “Taehyungs last girlfriend couldn’t even toast a poptart.” She rolls her eyes but then smiles at you again.
Last girlfriend? You don’t recall Taehyung ever having a girlfriend in the time you have known him. Must have been a while.
“Mom…” Taehyung warns,
“Oh alright, we aren’t talking about her. What was her name again?”
“Mom.”
“Okay okay.”
You awkwardly play with your fingers at their back and forth. Who was his girlfriend? Were they dating more recently? Why has the energy shifted so much in the kitchen?
“So you two are going strawberry picking huh? That’ll be fun. Be sure you bring back the reddest, juiciest ones you can find!” Mr. Kim chimes in.
You and Taehyung arrive at the strawberry farm a couple hours later, you two are some of the only people there.
“Small town.” Taehyung explains.
“More for us.” You poke your tongue out. “You must really like strawberries Tae.”
“Actually, no. I’m tired of them.” His laughter fills your ears, you watch as he sways into your side “But it’s still fun and we can take some cute pics here.”
“Yeah, true.” You try to smile brightly but fall short. “Well I’m glad we’re getting some because Jungkook eats all the damn strawberries at home!” Taehyung watches as you giggle and he frowns.
You spend time walking side by side, taking lots of photos, and enjoying one another’s company. The wonderful breeze rushes through you, making you feel alive and well.
“No way! Trina did not do that!” Taehyung laughs so hard, shaking his whole body.
“I swear! I told her she was going to get caught but that bitch does not listen to me.” You laugh alongside him.
“And I swear to you, I was not about to get caught with her so me and Jungkook ran for it. I would rather fucking die.” You laugh again.
“You don’t say that type of stuff in front of Jungkook, do you?” Taehyungs tone becomes serious, surprising you.
“What stuff?” you tilt you head in confusion.
“You know ‘wanting to die’ bullshit. He really hates that because well, you know.”
“Oh yeah, I don’t say that around him, he’s real sensitive about that for some reason.” You laugh awkwardly, swinging your arms side to side as you two walk.
“Well for good reason. Right?”
“Huh?”
“It’s nothing…” Taehyung releases a shaky breath. “It’s not my place to tell you.”
“If it’s about my best friend—”
“Sorry. Not my place.” Taehyung says more harshly. “Let’s just change the subject.”
Your mind begins racing…why is Jungkook so sensitive about that? What isn’t he telling you?
“Don’t think too much about it y/n.” Taehyung says softly. “He will tell you eventually.”
“Oh…” you bow your head down, “Okay…”
“Well, tell me more about you Tae.”
“what do you want to know?”
“let’s start with the basics! What’s your favorite color?”
Taehyung looks up at the sky and hums to himself, “I don’t have one but today maybe it’s blue.”
“You don’t have a favorite color? Why blue today?”
“The sky. It’s so pretty. I wish I could find this exact shade of blue and recreate this sky…” he sighs to himself, “But then again maybe today it’s green.” He gestures towards your top. “Because it brings out the color in your eyes.”
You pause mid walk, tilting your head up at him. “You like green today because I…I’m wearing it?”
“Is that strange?” he stops walking as well, “Because your eyes—”
“Why not choose the color of my eyes?” you tease.
“Because I like what wearing green does to them specifically.” He rubs your shoulder, “Come on, let’s keep going.”
You nod your head and the two of you continue your walk, he takes your hand in his and you smile to yourself. This feels like a real date.
“What are you most afraid of?” you feel his hand grow sweaty in your palm. “Like, for example, Jungkook doesn’t like spiders or…”
“Being left.” He blurts out. “But yeah, not a fan of spiders either.” He chuckles.
“Being left?”
Taehyung walks towards a bench and sits down, you follow his lead taking a seat close to him. He takes a few deep breaths and lowers his head.
“Imagine a parent or a significant other or even a friend…they say they love you and stuff…but then change their mind or something happens and they end up leaving. That’s what I’m most afraid of. Being left alone.”
You bite your lip, you realize he and Jungkook have this in common. Your hand rushes to find his, you gently stroke your thumb over his golden skin. “Someone would be absolutely crazy to abandon you, Taehyung.”
Surprising you, he scoffs.
“I’m serious…you are…just amazing. You’re sweet, funny, caring and kind and you make great art and you have great taste in movies…you also know the best pizza…” you continue to stroke his skin as you ramble, “You have the most genuine heart, Taehyung.”
Taehyung lifts his head to face you, he looks pained.
“y/n…”
“You don’t have to say anything, I’m here for you, you know?” you scoot closer to him on the bench and Taehyung leans into you.
“You’re too good to me…” Taehyung whispers so quietly you barely hear him. “You really think that of me?”
“Of course, I do. You make me feel…” the words die on your tongue when you feel Taehyung cup your jaw with his hand.
“You make me feel….too.” he whispers just loud enough that you hear him loud and clear.
Then Taehyung leans back, his hand dropping from your face, “I have to tell you something.”
“No.” you cut in. Whatever it is it can wait. Because…because you know it’s not something that will make you happy and you don’t want this weekend to be ruined. You just know.
“Tell me another time?” you lean into him, your fingers intertwining with his. “Please…”
Taehyung exhales deeply, frustration written all over his face. He turns in his seat to face you.
“Soon.” He promises.
“Ha, you sound like Jungkook.”
“Do you always find a way to talk about Jungkook?” Taehyung lifts your chin with his fingers.
“W-What?”
Taehyung looks serious for a second before he cracks a smile and laughs, “I’m just teasing you.”
~~~~~
“Wait, wait. So you’re telling me you ALSO love museums?!” Taehyung squeezes your hand in excitement.
“Yeah, they’re really interesting.” You smile.
“Oh my god, all our friends think they’re so boring. Well, Namjoon likes them. Anyway, why haven’t we gone on a museum date? I want to take you so bad now!” His eyes are shining like a child, you can’t help but adore him.
“Then let’s go sometime Tae.”
Taehyung lowers the basket he’s holding to the ground and takes your basket and sets it on the ground as well.
“I really…” Taehyung pauses, reaching his hand to grab yours. “Really had a nice time with you today.
You look down at your joined hands and smile. “Me too, Tae Tae.”
Taehyung leans over and pecks your cheek. It makes you smile.
“What was that for?” you ask shyly. “There’s no people around.” You chuckle a bit bitterly.
“Just felt like it,” his soft smile making you swoon. “Should we head back? My parents will probably be in bed by the time we make it back home.”
“Sure.”
~~~~~
The house is dark and quiet when you enter through the front door. Only the sound of the ceiling fan rotating in cold, noisy circles could be heard. It was oddly calming and made the long day catch up to you.
“Let’s get ready for bed.” Tae whispers into your ear and it tickles.
The two of you head up the flight of stairs and enter the bedroom. You take turns using the bathroom to get ready for bed, once all done you make your way under the covers and slowly close your eyes.
“y/n?”
You turn over in bed to face Taehyung, your faces just inches apart.
“Yes?” you whisper.
“I can’t thank you enough for doing this.” The guilt in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed by you, as usual. “I wish there was something more I could do for you…”
“You’re already buying me coffee.” You giggle.
“I want to do more,” Taehyung gulps “I want to…” he scoots even closer to you, his hot breath fanning your face. You can smell the mint from his toothpaste and his natural scent. It fills your nostrils and you suck in a sharp breath.
“You want to what?” you say with a shaky voice.
Taehyungs breathing begins to quicken, you can feel each rushed breath and you wonder what’s gotten into him.
“What do you want to do, Tae?” you ask again.
You can see Taehyungs tongue dart out to wet his lips and you can’t help but stare. His lips look so plump and delicious, you want a bite.
“I…I don’t know…” he turns to lay on his back. “Can I tell you a secret?” he whispers.
“Sure.”
“I wanted to kiss more than your cheek today.” He turns back over to his side to face you again. “Is that wrong?”
Taehyung wanted to kiss you? Like, kiss you kiss you? You feel happy, yes. But do you feel your heart racing in excitement? You don’t know.
“Tae—”
“Even now, I still want to…kiss you…” his hand brushes against the skin of your cheek and you start to feel your heart beat just a little faster. Finally…
“But,” he pulls backs, “It’s wrong, isn’t it?”
“Why would it be wrong?”
“Because…y/n…I have to tell you some—”
You quickly lean over to seal his lips with yours. Usually your kisses are short and sweet and tender but this time you use more force as you press your lips over his mouth, the kiss sloppy and heated. He instantly kisses you back with fervor, your tongue prodding its way into his mouth and he obliges in seconds, his tongue playing with yours. You moan into his mouth and Taehyungs hands are all over you, they travel into your hair, down your back, grabbing your hips and rubbing your ass.
“Tae…” you whine out
Taehyungs fingers play with the hem of your shorts and you push your hips into his.
“Please.” You beg for more.
“But wait—”
“Please.” You repeat.
Taehyung stares at you for several long moments, thinking of what to do…he wants to devour you, if he had to be honest. But is this right? But he…
Then his eyes go dark, his gaze piercing.
“I’m going to taste you.” He says in voice so deep you even question that its him.
Next thing you know your shorts are pulled down along with your panties and Taehyungs mouth is an inch away from devouring you.
“Gonna make you feel so good.” He groans into your heat, his tongue licking a strip from your hole to your clit. And again and again. You quietly whimper into the pillow as his tongue fucks you.
“More Taehyung, more…” you moan, your hands gripping his hair.
Taehyung smirks up at you and inserts two fingers into your greedy cunt, he curls and scissors them inside you making you weep pathetically.
“That feel good sweetheart?”
Then he’s diving back in, his tongue assaulting your clit until you feel the buildup of your inevitable orgasm—you mean, it is Kim Taehyung.
He gives your clit one last good suck before you are reaching your high, pulling on his locks and moaning at a higher pitch. Fuck, that was good.
“You sound so fucking hot when you come…” Taehyung moves back up the bed as you lay there breathless. “Next time I want you coming on my—”
Taehyung stops himself from finishing that sentence. You watch as he groans into his hands, “I mean, if you want there to be a next time.”
“Of course I do, Tae.” You flip to your side and find his lips. You give him a long kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. “How could I not?”
Taehyung savors your lips on his, he finds his hands in your hair again as he deepens it. He should feel like shit but somehow he feels…good. And he’s confused as hell for it.
~~~~~
The next morning comes by quickly, you are saying your goodbyes to the Kim’s with promises that you will return soon. And you secretly hope you do.
The drive back to Uni is a slow one, you and Taehyung listen to his playlist and chat every now and then while he holds your hand. You smile like an idiot the whole time.
Taehyungs phone is in your hand as you slide through the music options, you’re about to choose a song when he receives an incoming text.
Anna 10:08am
You think that will work, Taehyung? Try harder.
You slide the message up, trying to ignore it. You don’t want some stalker to ruin the good mood you’re in. But you can’t help but wonder what she is talking about. And why hasn’t he blocked her? You don’t say anything to Taehyung, he is also in a good mood and you don’t want to ruin it. He’s humming the tune from the car speakers and lifts his hand that holds yours and kisses it.
Another hour passes and you and Taehyung are in front of your apartment.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you up?” Taehyung questions sweetly.
“I’m sure!” you stand on your tip toes to kiss his cheek and turn around to walk away.
“Oh no you don’t.” Taehyung chuckles as he pulls you in for a kiss on the lips. Then another kiss and then another. “Now you can go.” He teases.
You break out in a wide grin, and tilt your head up to kiss him one last time.
You walk up the steps to your apartment, and walk towards your front door. What an amazing weekend, you think. You got to know Taehyung a lot better, you met his parents and you two shared an unforgettable night—at least for you. Oh no. Should you have returned the favor? Instead of worrying about it you decide it’s okay, he owes you after all. You chuckle to yourself as you unlock the front door.
You step inside your apartment with a an idiotic, dopey ass smile plastered on your face.
“What’s with you?” Jungkook asks from the living room couch.
“Oh nothing,” You sing, “Just had a really good weekend.”
“Oh? So I guess meeting his parents went well?” Jungkook stands to meet you at the entrance, he takes your bag for you and sets it down.
“That too.” You giggle.
Jungkook cocks his head to the side, “I’m serious, what’s up with you?” he can’t help but smile. You look so happy.
“Nothing we just… we just…” you bite your lip, contemplating on what to tell Jungkook.
“You… just?” his smile begins to fade as realization hits him. Then his face hardens. “Did he fuck you?” Jungkook’s voice is lower than you have ever heard it.
“What?” you choke out.
“I asked if this asshole fucked you?”
“Okay, one: he’s not an asshole. Two: no, he did not fuck me.”
Jungkook visibly relaxes.
Telling Jungkook the truth will probably only upset him for some reason so you decide against it. You don’t need his negativity right now. Finally, fucking finally, Taehyung is crossing a line with you…on the side where friendship is beginning to become blurred and nothing makes you more excited. You have been waiting for this, you have spent so much time with him and and… you need this.
“Okay…” Jungkook leans down and picks up your bag and heads to your room. You watch as he swings the bedroom door open and set the bag inside.
“Wanna order some food?” he calls out, walking towards you again.
“Honestly we got up pretty early this morning so I think I’ll take a quick nap. But after? If you’re willing to wait a couple hours?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. Get some rest.” He smiles, jumping back on the couch and pressing play on whatever show he was watching.
Your bed is so unbelievably soft and warm that as soon as you sink in the sheets your eyes are already closing in exhaustion. But your mind stays awake…you think about the weekend you just had with Taehyung and all the progress you have made. You like him so much, you want nothing more than for him to feel the same way. At least you think you…anyway. You recall his lips kissing down your body, his tongue teasing your thighs, his hands gripping your hips.
Taehyungs dark eyes as he stares up from you is without a doubt one of the sexiest things you have had the pleasure of witnessing. Wait—why one of? Why can’t it be the sexiest thing you have ever seen? Then different images bombard your brain but you’re quick to throw them away. Only Taehyung lives in your mind rent free, god damn it. He ain’t gotta pay a penny.
You think about the light, teasing kisses he left on your neck…you think about his fingers and how they fucked you, god they felt so fucking good. You smile as you think about what else he could do for you…your lazy smile widens at the thought.
Your eyes are still closed and images of Taehyung run wild in your mind as you start to doze off. Yes, you can fall asleep with him in your thoughts. Your body feels heavier and heavier as sleep finally takes over, you welcome Taehyung in your dreams as well. At least you hope you dream of him.
The bed creaks beneath you as Jungkook guides you further up the mattress, his body hovering your own. His hands come to slide up your arms as you shiver under his touch.
“I’m giving you goosebumps.” He says while lightly stroking your arm, feeling each bump under his fingertips. “What else do I do to you?”
“So many things Jungkook…” you heavily breathe out, your chest is heaving at this point. The anticipation of his touch is driving you nuts.
“Need to find out.” He simply states, his head lowering down to the crook of your neck. He breathes you in and lowers himself between your spread legs.
“Can I touch you?”
“Yes, please.” You don’t mean to whimper, but you do. You fucking do.
Jungkook’s slender fingers make their way skimming across your bare stomach until he reaches the hem of your panties. He lifts the band up and slaps it against your skin.
“I want these off, is that okay?”
You only nod your head.
“Words y/n. When you’re with me you use your words okay baby?” His fingers begin lowering your panties down. “Lift yourself for me.” And you obey. Jungkook slides your panties down your legs and you’re left completely naked underneath him.
“God, I can just see how wet you are.” You immediately force your legs shut, feeling embarrassed at his words.
“Not uh, I don’t think so. You got this wet for me? I want to see it. Open for me, baby.” Very hesitantly you begin to move your legs apart, the blush on your face deepening.
The rest is almost a blur. You can recall his fingers spreading your folds, you whining for him to touch more of you. You can recall his mouth hovering your pussy, his tongue swirling around your clit. You can recall his fingers stretching you out and moaning out his name. It’s what came next that is very clear in your mind. Its him kissing your lips, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and his cock sliding between your folds. The desire you feel for him is very real and he can feel that.
“Please, Jungkook!” You gasp out, as he teases his cock at your entrance.
Jungkook slides his gorgeous cock into you inch by glorious inch. His cock twitching inside your pulsating pussy, his harsh breaths fanning your face. Jungkook slams his eyes shut, his teeth gritting in anticipation as he waits for you to give the ok. You only gasp for air as he bottoms out, his dick reaching places no one ever has before, you slowly nod your head giving him permission to fuck you into oblivion. He says he could, so you’ll believe him. .
Jungkook opens an eye to look at you carefully, your face contorted in pleasure showing him how you are indeed okay to go on. Jungkook’s hand massages your hips, his touch setting your skin on fire. He begins to slowly ease out of you until just the tip remains then he slams his hips into yours. His body falls forward and he lifts your head up with his free hand and brings you closer for a wild kiss. He grinds himself into you deliciously, his hips rocking back and forth causing you to moan out for him over and over.
“Please…please.” You pant, rolling your hips into his as you meet his desperate thrusts.
“Please what, princess?” he breathes out heavily, “Told you that when you’re with—” He begins fucking into you faster, “When you’re with me…to use your words.” His pace is bruising, causing you to choke on the air around you.
“Please, harder.” You manage to get out while gripping on to his wide shoulders, your finger nails digging into his soft skin.
Jungkook smirks down at you, his eyes shining with something you can’t quite describe.
“Harder?” he questions, his lips coming down to suck bruises into your neck. “Deeper too?” he bites a particular spot that makes you groan.
“Just—just need more of you…” you grab his hair by the handful and yank his head back and bring his face to yours. Your lips meeting his.
His tongue slips past your lips, tongues dancing to the beat of his thrusts. His cock is buried so deep within you that you feel you are no longer a single person but now a person merged with another. You have never felt more connected.
Jungkook whines at the sight of you—your lips apart and eyes barely open. Your head is thrown back showing Jungkook all the pretty blooming bruises on your skin.
“So fucking pretty.” He grits out, eyes lit on fire.
You’re barely able to respond as he thrusts into you even harder, your tits bouncing with each movement.
“Gonna come soon…” he says between heavy breaths, his pace becoming sloppy.
“Gonna come inside me?” you cry out, your fingernails digging into his back.
“Need you to come with me baby”
You could of came from his cock alone, that you are sure of but when his fingers meet your sensitive clit, you are seeing stars. He’s rubbing messy circles, easily sliding around from how wet you are, his fingers getting drenched.
It’s almost embarrassing how quickly his fingers bring you to orgasm.
You gasp out, voice hoarse from all the moaning and screaming he’s drawn from your body. “Fuuuuuucckk.” You whine, your orgasm leaving you breathless.
“I—I’m coming…” he pants in your ear, his breath tickling your sensitive skin.
He fucks into you quickly before stilling his hips and shooting his cum deep within you, decorating your walls. He doesn’t move. You don’t move. He stays buried to the hilt, breathing heavily into the crook of your neck. You aren’t much better, your breaths also harsh. You look to the nightstand to read the clock that says 4 AM. Fuck, what did you do?
You just fucked your best friend.
Panicked and out of breath, you sit up in bed. Sweat forming on your hairline and dribbling down the side of your face. Why? Why this dream of all dreams? Why this memory?
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itgirlification · 4 years ago
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supermodel | jjk
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the last three months have been hell for you, but Jungkook seemed to be living his best life.
pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader
warnings: explicit mentions of body image and insecurities, infidelity, anal sex, oral (male receive), foul language (kinda), etc.
now playing: supermodel by sza
part two part three
Exactly three months ago, your and Jungkook’s 2 years relationship officially ended. Unofficially, it ended about 5 months ago. And for about one month now, Jungkook’s been seeing someone else.
Your heart and mind told you not to do it but you couldn’t help calculating. Three months ago, you were still dating, two months later, he started dating someone else. That must mean he’s known her for a while. Did he cheat on you with her? Well, it’s not like it matters now anyway, does it?
Her name was Yuki, an undeniable Japanese beauty. You were still in college, studying music and she was a famous model who appeared in internationally known magazines. You assumed she met Jungkook during a photoshoot since he was a professional photographer who often worked for companies like Vogue and Playboy. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her.
It wasn’t the fact that he moved on so quickly that hurt you the most. It was the fact that he knew all about your low self-esteem and how you lack confidence. Especially about your body. And he still went and dated a model, of all professions in the world. He was definitely over you.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he did it on purpose. But thankfully, you knew better, he looked too happy for that to be even considered. He forgot about you.
You’re making yourself sadder by remembering all the times he assured you you were beautiful and your body was nothing to be ashamed of. The times he let his fingertips run over the lines of your stretch marks, whispering in your ear how much he loved them and how they reminded him of Tiger stripes. The times he caressed your jiggly thighs and told you how sexy he thought they were.
Then your mind would drift back to the phone in your hand, the Instagram page of Yuki Sakurai opened, careful not to accidentally like anything and expose yourself. Not that she’d notice anyway, she had 3.7 million followers, while you had a private one with 500 followers and no posts, and she gets around 300 to 700 thousand likes on each post, depending on whether she posts random photos or pretty pictures of herself. Or newly, your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Oh, how crazy everybody goes whenever she posts him. People love them together. You couldn’t blame them. Two attractive people? Of course, they’re gonna look great together.
Fucking great.
That the end of your relationship with Jungkook would look like this was semi-predictable from the beginning. He did admit to you that he never thought he’d date someone that looked like you when you first dated. And your heart broke a little. But he also made up for it in those two years, it was a beautiful relationship nonetheless.
While you weren’t exactly his ‘ideal’ type, he was definitely yours. You always heard from other women ‘when in a relationship, the man always has to love the woman more than she loves him. Otherwise, it won’t work.’ You never really got the saying until your breakup with Jungkook happened. It was the fact that you clearly loved Jungkook more than he loved you that lead to this.
“Oh my goodness!”, your roommate, Jane, dramatically exclaimed. “Will you stop feeling bad for yourself and do something? That’s not what hot girls do, sis.”
Jane was a lovely girl with a not so lovely temper. She always means well and you got along perfectly as soon as you met. Which was around 3 and a half years ago.
She looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. You obviously didn’t want her to see you snooping around your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s Instagram but it was too late.
“Seriously, yn?”, she took your phone in her hand and threw it on the bed. “Let’s go somewhere, you can’t do this to yourself anymore. I’m not letting you.”
Jane was clearly worried about you at this point. The only thing you did these last few weeks was eating, shower, cry, sleep and miss a whole bunch of classes. This wasn’t good at all.
“Where?”, your question was short.
“To the mall? Or the nail studio? Anything that’ll get you out of this fucking dormitory.”, Jane sighed, pulling the blanket off of you, making you whine a little. “C’mon, go put on some cute outfit and we’ll go.”
You felt bad since she was trying hard to make you feel better. But it didn’t really work.
You nodded, standing up from the bed, nonetheless. You picked out a cute two-piece dress, that brought back blurred memories of the time you went on a date with Jungkook, wearing the same two-piece. Bet Yuki would look cuter in this...
‘Shut your petty ass up, yn. It’s embarrassing, the way you’re stuck on a taken guy who wants nothing to do with you’
You wish you could change the way you think, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You wish you would stop imagining Jungkook judging you when he saw you naked or when you told him that you wished you could cut off some of your fat with a pair of scissors.
You were beyond ashamed of yourself. Why wasn’t it easy for you to just stay by yourself? why were you so desperately in need of Jungkook by your side to the point where you’d lock yourself in your room for a month just because he isn’t there?
You needed Jungkook. You became so attached to him in those two years, because you always saw him as a permanent, a forever. Not just a temporary, not just a distant memory. You already saw him as the father of your children, as the man you’re gonna marry.
You were so blinded by the fact that you had him, that you forgot you could lose him anytime.
“I’m done, let’s go.”, unenthusiastically, you announced to Jane, who was already waiting for you.
“Let’s get the fuck outta here!”, In contrast to your spirit, hers seemed to be all roses and daisies. “Lord knows you need it...”
__________
“Look at this cute ass skirt, girl”, Jane pointed at a chic, wine mini skirt she was holding. “You know, when I saw it back there I wanted to have it, but it’d look so much better on you”
You took a few seconds to admire Jane’s beauty. She was about 3 cm taller than you, had a great posture, and almond, dark brown eyes that suited her dark skin tone perfectly. Her body leaned more towards the slimmer side.
“Shut up! No, it would not”, you let out a small giggle. “It would look gorgeous on you, buy it.”
She smiled a little at your laughs. She was happy to see you at least a little cheerful again. “Yeah, but I think it’d look better on you. I’m entitled to my own opinion, am I not?”
You knew this debate was gonna go back and forth, because of her stubbornness. “Let’s both buy the skirt.”
You ended up doing so, added by a bunch of bags full of clothing. This may’ve turned into your new coping mechanism. Who needed therapy when you can go on a shopping spree?
Two hours were spent in boutiques and clothing stores and Jane decided she was tired, wanting to visit the local spa.
“No, seriously, these Riverdale seasons just keep on getting worse and worse. Netflix needs to step up their game ASAP”, Jane ranted, making you laugh at how serious she takes it. “It’s getting embarrassing. I’m being for real.”
The two of you were sitting in the whirlpool at the spa, relaxing your whole bodies a little.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don’t watch these new Netflix shows anyways. Been stuck on the vampire diaries for the last 7 years”, you chuckled, knowing you hated trying new things. “Can you pass me one of those magazines?”
Jane nodded, grabbing a random one from the table next to her and handed it to you, without looking at it.
The cover of it caught your eyes immediately. How could it not, when your ex’s new girl looks absolutely dazzling on the front page of it.
‘Supermodel Yuki Sakurai talks summer fashion tips, struggle with self-love and most importantly, her hot, new boyfriend the media is going crazy over’ was the headline of the Harper’s Bazaar Magazine cover.
You felt your stomach getting sick and your breath getting heavier, but you still flipped the pages until you found the one with her interview. You began reading it, skipping the boring parts.
‘Int: so, we see you have a new boyfriend. Tell us, how did you guys meet?
Yuki: Yeah, he’s an amazing guy. We actually met about six or five months ago at one of my photoshoots, since he’s a photographer and we exchanged numbers and stuff, and then we made it official mid last month.’
About six or five months ago? You were with him back then, but her answer was too unclear to find out if he cheated or not.
“Woah, yn, you okay?”
You entirely forgot about the fact that you were with Jane, let alone somewhere other than your bed.
Before you could react, Jane snatched the magazine out of your hand.
“You really can’t escape them, huh?”, She sighs, taking you in her arm. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. In a few months, you’re gonna look back to this and think wow I really was stuck on a guy who’s scared of microwaves and cried like a bitch when Iron Man died.”
You laughed, punching her arm playfully. “You know, I actually love these things about him. Shows his sensitivity and the way he perceives things.”
Jane looked at you as if she didn’t believe you were actually saying that stuff. “Girl, you’re overanalyzing this. Let’s just throw this shit in the trash, okay?”
She put the magazine aside.
“I just don't know what I did wrong.”, You murmured. “I know we weren't the best, but we didn't even fight that much. We could’ve talked it through.”
Jane pursed her lips and cooed. “You know, relationships are complicated sometimes. The reason why he broke up, to begin with, is probably not your fault.”
“Well, what if it is? I mean what if I was too fat or too ugly for him?”, you asked. “If he wanted a skinny girl so bad, I could’ve lost weight for him, I don’t get it.”
Jane looked at you like you lost your mind entirely. “I can’t believe you just said that! Even if that was the reason, which it wasn’t, you shouldn’t make yourself suffer because of it. That’s his loss. You’re beyond gorgeous and you have an amazing body.”
“You’re just saying that.”, tears slowly started coming up in your eyes. “But the thing is Jungkook knows all about my insecurities. Why would he do that to me? I know he knows that I’m still not over him.”
You usually didn’t like crying in front of other people, but you didn’t really care at the moment, besides that was Jane. You trusted her with your life.
“Girl, men are trash, I can’t believe you’re crying over one right now, seriously.”, she wiped your tears and held your face between her hands. “You know, honestly, I’ve read so many articles about how models actually hate themselves and have like the lowest self-esteem so in conclusion, no matter how miserable you are, his new girl is even more miserable.”
You knew Jane didn’t mean it in a harmful way, but it sounded harsher than needed. “I don’t hate her, she probably doesn’t even know about me. I’m just really insecure. He upgraded from me. He’s dating a whole model now.”
The situation just felt like a deja vu of these last few weeks laying in your bed, even though you were at the spa with your friend. You were supposed to have fun, yet you didn’t feel like having any.
“Why would you feel insecure when all you’ve seen of her are Instagram posts and red carpet pictures? She’s supposed to look beautiful, it’s her job.”
To a certain extent, Jane was right, but that didn’t really help your situation, you still felt bad about yourself. You stayed silent.
“C’mon, this isn’t fun anymore. Let’s leave.”, Jane mumbled.
_______
it’s been two days since the incident at the spa and you felt a little bit better now.
Those days were spent reading the same three book series you’ve read your entire life, overthinking, hot Cheetos, Indian takeout, and Netflix. It really wasn’t as miserable as it sounded.
You were just taking a little rest before term break ends and you have to go back to the shithole college again.
Jane was using the time until college starts again, but in different ways than you were. She was planning on going to some frat party in an hour and forget about the world’ for a minute. Or till 4 in the morning, where she will most likely drunk call you and ask you for a ride back to the dorms, because the friends she went to the party with were shit-faced as well and were in no way capable of driving anywhere without the cops stopping them.
Going out partying on a Friday night was a Jane tradition. In the past, you’d sometimes go with her, but you mostly spent your time out with Jungkook doing something more fun than partying could ever be. Now you can’t do that anymore, but laying in bed is more ideal than a party for you at the moment.
“How do I look?”, Jane twirled around to show off her black cocktail dress. She looked beautiful.
“You look beautiful.”, you responded to her question. “Are you leaving now?”
“Hm”, she said, to which you nodded. “You sure you don’t wanna come with me? It’s gonna be really fun.”
You shook your head no.
“Alright”, she shrugged, making her way out of your bedroom. “But I told you, it’s gonna be fun.”
You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll stay here, I have shit to do.”
“Yeah, right, like binge-watching the vampire diaries and taking 5-hour naps”, she said in a sarcastic tone. “Anyway, bye-bye, Vic’s already waiting for me in the car.”
Victoria was perhaps one of the most obnoxious people you know, yet she was too much of a nice person for you to talk shit about her. The voice of your intrusive thoughts couldn’t help but to, though.
“Alright, bye, take care and say hi to Vic from me.”
After Jane left, an hour went by like it was just a couple of minutes. You were starting to get real bored and decided to watch some regular tv in hopes to find something you enjoy. You ended up not finding anything fun, but you still watched it, because you didn’t have anything else to do.
A few moments later, the doorbell rang and you were suddenly worried. Either this is a serial killer or Jane forgot something.
But to your surprise, it was neither, but it was none other than
“Jungkook?”, truly, those were the only words you were able to mutter out at your shocked state. “What are you do-“
At the speed of light, you were interrupted by your ex-boyfriend pressing his lips to yours. He didn’t say a word.
You weren’t expecting him. Not knowing how you were supposed to feel at the moment, you just let it happen. You were sure your mental state couldn’t get any worse than that, no matter how this will affect you in the end.
“Is Jane home?”, for the first time in 3 months, you’re hearing his silky voice again.
Jungkook knew Jane always had some type of special hatred for him with her killing stares and her bitter comments. You didn’t notice either though.
He also knew she must hate him even more after your breakup. Or maybe she liked him more now since she was able to get rid of him without killing anyone.
“No”, your answer was short and it made a weight fall from Jungkook’s shoulders before he continued kissing you.
It wasn’t anything you haven’t done before, yet it felt like it’s been ages since it last happened. Your mind drifted to the thought of Jungkook and his model girlfriend. You were asking yourself what their sex life was like, if she was tighter than you or if she had stretch marks and scars.
Jungkook’s lips were moving south, giving your neck wet kisses, while you were wondering why he broke up with his model girlfriend. Or if he even did. You felt selfish for not caring.
Removing your clothes one by one, you were left in your underwear, while Jungkook only had his boxers on.
This body was yours. You knew it inside out. Where he liked to get touched and where he preferred not to. You knew him better than anyone else. You were sure.
You already moved to your bedroom, since Jungkook effortlessly carried you there. You were sat on his lap, facing him and your hands were in his messy hair. His hands were around your waist, he was slightly smiling into the kiss, as you started grinding on him. He loved how easy it was for him to turn you on. You were still his.
Cutting off the kiss, he looked you in the eyes, while his hand was on your cheek. “Say aah.”, he said.
You widened your mouth obediently, which was followed by him collecting as much saliva as he could in his mouth and spitting it into your mouth.
“Swallow.”, demanding, he spit on your face, his eyes become darker with every passing moment. You did as he said.
You looked at him with big eyes. He knew you loved it. You’ve always had a thing for him degrading and humiliating you during sex.
He started grinding on you almost desperately. You knew exactly what he wanted.
Getting out of his grip, you dropped to your knees and freed his hard dick from his drawers. You reached for it and started pumping it, and licking it. Your spit was leaking down his dick as you used it for lubrication. Then you started sucking on it, just the way you used to.
Jungkook’s groans and satisfied sighs were enough to make you even wetter than before. You enjoyed giving more than receiving.
Your mouth was wet and warm around him, giving him a feeling of familiarity. You lick over the tip a few times, then proceed to fully take him into your mouth.
The bulge in your throat could be seen and the way your eyes were tearing up a little wasn’t bothering you at all. You loved giving.
Jungkook started thrusting in and out of your warm, welcoming mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat multiple times.
“Fuck”, a throaty moan left Jungkook’s mouth, giving you hints that he was about to cum. And he did, releasing in your mouth before you swallowed it. “Shit, baby, that was so good.”
You felt your face heat up and a sheepish smile made its way to your face. Your throat was sore.
The two of you were on the bed again. To you, it felt like it was the times before your breakup again, when you’d purposely start an argument just for the makeup sex because Jungkook wasn’t giving you any anymore. It was like sex was the only thing to look forward to.
You felt attached to Jungkook to a point where it was dangerous. You weren’t okay when he wasn’t around. He affected every part of your life and God knew it wasn’t always a positive thing. Maybe it was the fact that he took your virginity. Maybe because he was your first boyfriend, the first guy that made you believe you were worthy of love and that someone was actually capable of loving you. One thing you knew was Jungkook had an expansive influence on your life.
While you were practically drowning in your own thoughts, Jungkook was busy taking off your underwear.
“You okay?”, Jungkook calmly asked you, looking at your riddled face.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay.”, you sounded distracted, Jungkook wasn’t sure about asking you what it is though. He didn’t feel like getting personal.
So he shrugged it off and started kissing you again, his dick was unsurprisingly hard again as he played with your tits. He drew lines over the stretch marks of your thighs and kissed them.
“Can I fuck your ass?”, Jungkook’s raspy, tired-sounding voice casually asked, to which you quickly nodded, knowing that Jungkook’s favorite position had always been anal. He was massaging and gripping your ass firmly.
“This is gonna hurt at first, but I promise it gets better.”, He warned calmly into your ear, while putting some lube on his dick and just went right into your ass, slowly thrusting so you don’t feel as much pain.
He was right, it did hurt a lot when he first put it in, but the pain just changed into pleasure in a matter of time and his slow-paced thrusts helped with the adjustment.
“Fuck, I missed this ass”, he practically growled into your ear, as he kept on thrusting in and out, steadily gripping your wide hips with his big, veiny hands. “It just doesn’t feel right when I’m inside her ass.”
You knew your confidence shouldn’t rely on Jungkook bringing his girlfriend down, but you couldn’t help but feel good about your body when he said that. It’s been a while since you felt even a tiny spark of confidence. You weren’t so fond of him mentioning her while he was inside of you.
Your soft moans rang through the whole room like sirens, while he watched your ass jiggle against his pelvis, thrusting in and out faster every second. He missed this.
You had always thought you were indecisive, but you knew exactly what you wanted. You just couldn’t have that, so you’d eventually have to settle for less.
Jungkook wasn’t to blame for it, you just couldn’t concede your shortcomings. The movie’s villain wasn’t always the real villain.
Your hands traveled to your pussy to make sure you’d orgasm as well, when you heard Jungkook’s breathing getting heavier and his thrusts getting gentler than before, indicating that he was gonna cum soon. You were certain he could make you cum with just anal, but you wanted to cum with him.
With furrowed eyebrows and drops of sweat dripping down his body, Jungkook looked down at your arched back. The whole scene was sticky, especially when Jungkook presses his upper body to your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and kissing the spot.
It was kinda odd, having sex with your ex-boyfriend you were crying over just a day ago. There was a certain intensity to it though. Like your long-lasting nostalgia was finally fulfilled.
You’ve realized you couldn’t imagine yourself being intimate with anybody else. Jungkook already knew your body, how it looked without the material protecting it, the strawberry skin, the slightly sagging breasts you swore you’d surgically remove once you had the chance to but didn’t. He knew where you liked being touched, he was the first one to even touch you in those places.
You were unsure what you’d do with yourself when he leaves.
Jungkook’s thrusts slowly started stopping and you too felt the familiar sensation in your stomach.
Suddenly, you two were nothing but desire, fear, and pleasure. And faster than you could process, you came together.
For minutes after your orgasm, you were just laying on the bed, thoughtless. Maybe a little regretful. Not you, but him.
You weren’t facing each other, but you could hear each other’s breathing. Your stomach was filled with something you’d describe as post-sex melancholia.
All of a sudden, Jungkook stood up from the bed, startling your resting self a little, but you decided to keep quiet, wanting to see what he was going to do.
He made his way to the door to leave what he thought was your sleeping body laying there. You couldn’t keep quiet anymore.
“Where are you going?”, your soft voice suddenly rang in his ears. “Don’t you wanna stay?”
He didn’t know how exactly to tell you. You’ve always been a gullible little girl, you were the type of girl to think fucking equals love. Little did you know that wasn’t the case at all.
“Yn.... you know I can’t”, Jungkook responded, you knew it wasn’t gonna be good when he said your name like that. “I got a girl at home and I don’t wanna mess shit up with her.”
There it was. Your suspicion was corroborated. He was still going out with the model and you were a certified home wrecker. Great.
You physically felt your heart breaking. “Bu- but why are you here then?”
You were incapable of being mad at him at the moment. It was your fault for letting him in, again. After breaking your trust and your heart.
“This was a mistake”, he declared, not looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry, yn...”
He’s moved past your room now, already at the exit of your dormitory. He was about to leave.
“You already ruined shit with her when you came here and fucked me.”, your voice was small, but your words were heard.
Without looking back, he left.
And you went back to your room, standing in the middle of it for a minute in silence before your brain fully processed what had happened and your tears started pouring.
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imaginesupply · 4 years ago
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Spencer Reid Imagine: Just peachy
Spencer Reid Imagine: Just Peachy
Summary : Reader (female pronouns, no Y/N, third person) is hosting dinner night at her apartment for the time. Spencer volunteers to help with the preparations. Derek is a good friend.
Warnings: Smut (handjob – male receiving, cum in pants), sub!Spencer, the Lord’s name in vain (only once), one mild curse word. (Because some of this shows Spencer’s thoughts, I had to refrain from using slang words for bodily parts and bodily fluids sometimes. Please don’t judge me.)
Word count: About 1.5k
Note: I wrote this really quickly when I was taking a break from working on my thesis (how Spencer went through the PhD pain thrice willingly, I will never understand) and my brain was fried. Consequently, this is the fic equivalent of the snack you make at 3am when you’re tipsy.
"Remember what we discussed?" Derek asked an exasperated Spencer for umpteenth time as he pulled over in front of their new co-worker's apartment building.
"Yes," Spencer groaned softly, adjusting his hair. "I have an eidetic memory, you know."
Next to him, Derek chuckled. "I know. No need to be so defensive," he teased, "just be yourself and there's no way she won't fall for you."
"Actually, it's not that -"
Derek cut him off before he could say anything more. "Bullshit. It really is that easy, pretty boy and" - he leaned over, grabbing Spencer's satchel from the backseat - "while everyone is due to arrive at seven, I can divert the rest of team if you just send me a text."
Spencer frowned, staring at his friend like he had grown two heads. "Why would I want you to stall -" He stopped in the middle of the sentence, his eyebrows rising high up his forehead and his cheeks turning pink when he finally realized. "Yeah, no, yes" - Spencer shook his head clearing his now corrupted mind - "what I mean to say is that I would definitely text you but - nevermind. Bye." Then he escaped from the car as if it were on fire, almost tripping on the laces of his converse.
Not even thirty minutes had gone by and Spencer already knew he was in trouble.
They walked through the farmers' market, Spencer carrying the fast filling linen bag. She guided him through the crowd, making them stop at the stalls that held anything of interest and buying various ingredients for dinner: vegetarian gratin and peach pie.
Eventually, they stopped at the fruit stand where she approached and asked the vendor if they could taste the peaches. Though they were out of season, they were looking quite ripe. The old man handed her a peach with a smile. "There you go."
She thanked the man and pulled back the sleeve of her lightweight jacket before taking a bite. That was the exact moment Spencer realised this had been a terrible idea. He should never have listened to Derek. He should not have offered to come earlier and help make dinner.
She took in the scent and hummed against the fruit, softly so, that only he would hear and erotically enough that he had to swallow down the saliva gathering in his mouth, his Adam's apple bobbing. She bit down on the fruit, the tips of her lips curling up and then licked off a thin trail of juice along the inside of her wrist and forearm, eyes closed. Then, as if nothing, she turned to the old man. "They're delicious!"
She turned back to Spencer and he noticed she was sporting her usual slightly bemused grin. "Have a taste, darling." She turned the pale fruit in her hand and offered it to him, an expectant look in her eyes. And there, in the middle of the busy farmers’ market, Spencer felt like a teenager whose girlfriend had just slipped her hand down his pants for the first time. Which, of course, he had never experienced so he didn't actually know what that would feel like.
Knowing better than to disobey her, Spencer leaned forward into her hand and took a bite of the remaining fruit, leaving behind only the endocarp, while adjusting his satchel to hide the prominent bulge in his crotch. It was the way she looked and the way she looked at him, the way she made him feel like-
“Are you alright?” She asked.
Spencer swallowed the fruit, his throat tight. “Just peachy.”
If he thought that was torture, nothing had prepared him for the actually cooking part. The space between the cabinets and the kitchen isle was narrow, which meant their bodies always brushed whenever she passed behind him, and he was already a sweaty, blushing mess.
Just be yourself, he reminded himself of what Derek had told him. "Hey, umm," Spencer stammered, drawling off, "did you know that until refrigerators were invented in 1834, salt was widely used to preserve meat."
He heard her soft laugh behind him, immediately turning around at the sound before realising she was bent over the counter, trying to reach something on the highest shelf and he had just inadvertently placed himself right behind her backside.
For some reason he couldn't even begin to explain, his first instinct had been to touch. Luckily, though, he had managed to stop his hands mid air before he could effectively ruin everything, but now all he could see was the black fabric of her pants stretching over the roundness of her hips and the warm pressure against him and-
"Spencer!"
He started, finally looking away. "What?"
She chuckled again. "As much as I appreciate your ability to be a walking encyclopaedia, I'd really enjoy it if you could put your height to good use and pass me the pie dish."
"Of course." Spencer shook his head, clearing his mind. "Yeah, I can do that."
She stepped aside, allowing him to grab the item from the cabinet. "Thank you, darling," she said, grinning.
"No problem," Spencer quipped, wiping his clammy hands on his leg pants as he subtly made sure his predicament wasn't too noticeable.
"Great! You can go ahead and knead the dough before stretching it over the dish."
"Yes, ma'am." His brown eyes went wide when he realised that he'd just said it out loud. It wasn’t even his fault. There was just that natural authority about her that made him very compliant.
She laughed once more, softly, looking up at him almost endearingly. "You can call any m word you like, darling."
His start stopped in his chest. Was she flirting with him? He had noticed her body language did not indicate repulsion and she did touch him more than was strictly necessary, but he didn't think she'd actually flirt with him. Spencer considered that he might really have to send Derek the text, but he tried not to get his hopes up too much. He was already nervous enough as it was.
She came up behind him, taking a look at the dough he had absentmindedly tortured and shook her head in amusement. "No, darling, not like that," she cooed gently, coming up closer until her body was pressed up against his. Spencer gulped nervously, acutely aware of the way her breasts were being squashed against his side.
Then her hand wrapped around his over the dough. "You do it like this, Spencer," she whispered. Her fingers lodged themselves between his, applying light pressure, making them bend to her will. "You need to feel it. Are you feeling it?"
Spencer was certainly feeling it, but not in his hand. He would almost be amazed at how a simple touch on his hand could make him radiate warmth and make all the blood in his brain rush to his dick, if he weren’t becoming so lightheaded.
She kissed his arm over the fabric of his shirt. "Here, let me show you." He felt her free hand slide across his stomach and down to his belt. His body jerked at the touch.
"What are you doing?" He asked, his voice raspy and sounding like a whimper.
Her hand stilled over the now undone buckle. "You want me to stop?"
"No!"
It came out embarrassingly loud and he might have felt ashamed for it, hadn't she managed to remove his belt and open his pants in record time. She pressed her palm to the front of his boxers, cupping his bulge. The fabric was thin and damp, doing little to numb the sensation of her touch. Spencer knew there was already a stain from the pre-ejaculatory fluid he was leaking, but he couldn't get himself to look down. Two senses at once would be too overwhelming and he was already trembling.
At first, she just ran her the tip of her finger up and down his length, making sure to trace the small slit where the wet fabric clung to the damp head. He shivered against her and let out the cutest, most delicious whimper she had ever heard.
"Do you like how it feels?"
"Yes." He choked out the word. His eyes were shut tight, focusing on the sensation but then she surprised him, sliding her hand inside his boxers. And, oh God! Spencer panicked, if her hand alone already felt this good, how could he possibly survive being inside her - "Stop," he moaned urgently, his hand frantically rising to grab hold of hers but it was too late - it was too good.
"Oh, my darling boy," she sighed gently, pressing another kiss to arm as his dick pulsed in her fingers, making a mess of her hand and his boxers.
"I am so -" He didn't know what exactly he was apologising for and he didn't have the time to find out. The bell rang while he was still enjoying the aftermath of his first non-solo orgasm.
Panic set in. He had never gotten around to text Derek.
"Don't worry, darling," she said reassuringly before sliding her hand out of his boxers and bringing it to her mouth to lick it clean. "I'll go get the door and you go clean yourself. Don't want everyone to know how naughty you really are, do you darling?"
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unwrittenlibrary · 4 years ago
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Champagne Problems
Summary: a companion piece to What Kind of Man. Harry never meant for things to end up this way. 
Warnings: Cheating. Forgiveness after cheating. Don’t read if you don’t agree with that. 
Notes: some of the scenes from harry’s pov & some new scenes to dive deeper into harry. this is just march! so it’s a companion to the first piece only & is short!
-
Left you out there standing
Crestfallen on the landing 
Champagne Problems
-
March.
-
Harry wasn’t exactly sure when you and him had drifted apart. Logically he knew every relationship had points where things may feel repetitive or where both people struggle, but the two of you had never felt this cold. 
That doesn’t stop the guilt that sinks his stomach and causes his lungs to constrict when you hang the phone up. “Y/N?” He asks in response to the obvious dial tone. 
The guilt doesn’t stop him from staying at the pub. Niall had left hours ago with a hurried goodbye. Jennifer had declined going out at all, saying all she wanted was rest. All who was left was Mitch, Harry, Ally and their semester law intern, Hannah. 
“Everything okay at home?” Ally asks kindly as Harry slips into the booth. Mitch raises his eyebrows as Harry shrugs. “She sounds pissed, but no emergency.” 
“If she sounds pissed why are you still here?” Mitch laughs. It sounds uneasy to Harry as his friend looks him up and down confused. “I remember when you used to refuse going out with us because you didn’t want Y/N upset.” 
Harry takes a sip of his beer and looks away. The pub was mostly filled with other suits. More lawyers from the firm who worked in offices Harry never visited. Doctors from the hospital two blocks away.
He turns his head back to look at Mitch when he feels a hand graze his knee. “I think you deserve a break.” Hannah says quietly. Harry watches as Mitch shakes his head, but turns away before his friend can say anything else. 
(Because Mitch’s stare just forces the guilt up Harry’s throat and he’s afraid it’ll come out in vile. Things were never supposed to go this far with Hannah. It was supposed to be stupid flirting and compliments. Nothing that could break you. It was never supposed to break you.)
(Harry hadn’t done that good of a job.) 
Harry wasn’t drunk. He hadn’t been drunk since law school. He was an adult. With a high paying position at a sought out law firm. He didn’t get drunk. 
You didn’t leave the porch light on though, so it’s a little hard for him to focus on getting the key in the door and also being quiet. But he’s not drunk, so he can do it. He does it. 
He pauses as he drops his keys onto the entry table. The entire first floor is dark. He slips his shoes off as well and leaves them by the door in order to avoid trying to find the correct cubby for them. 
You had left the hallway light on upstairs, so most of the staircase was illuminated enough for Harry to make it up them without missing a step. That didn’t stop him from stumbling up the last three though. 
He can see the bedroom light had been left on as well. He listens for the sound of you talking to Jack or even just the baby’s giggles, but when all he hears is silence, he assumes you had fallen asleep writing. He pushes the door open. 
You’re sitting on the edge of the bed and twisting your ring around your finger as you gnaw on your bottom lip. Your head shoots up when you hear the door open and Harry’s eyes widen. “Y/N?” He feels his eyes squint at the bright overhead light feeling much harsher with your glare. 
He ignores the pit in his stomach as he lifts his wrist the check the time, “Why are awake? It’s almost three in the morning. (He never meant for this happen. He was never supposed to be in this scene.) 
You shrug and let out a laugh that Harry could only describe as empty. The pit in his stomach grows as you whisper harsh words, “I’m well aware of how ridiculously late it is, Harry. I figure I should be awake though, it’s the only time I’ll see you.” 
Harry looks away as he pulls his jacket off and lays it on the bed beside where you were sitting. “What are you talking about?” In order to avoid your stare he focuses his attention to his white button up. He hands fumble and he notices you stand in his peripheral version. 
His hands pause for a moment, like he expects your hands to steady his shaking ones like they normally did. You almost do, he notices, but a look crosses your face and your arms cross over your chest defensively. 
“The kids missed you.” You say quietly. 
Harry knows what’s coming as his hands fall completely away from the shirt and he finally looks at you. He feels tears rush to his eyes as the guilt from earlier in the night returns tenfold. “I missed them too.” He says quietly. 
“Seph asked me if you were leaving us.” The words feel like a punch to the gut as you just watch him stand and process them. Seph asked that? Had he really been gone so often his first daughter, his best friend, was worried he wouldn’t come back one day? 
“She what?” Harry flinches when he hears his voice crack. “I would never leave you guys, I love you.” 
You look away. “Do you?” And if your words about Persephone had felt like a punch, these felt like a gunshot. Pain splintering from his chest throughout his entire body. 
“What?” He almost yells. But he knew the kids were asleep. He never wanted to wake his kids up to fighting. He feels like he’s sobering up fast and it’s making him nauseous. He takes a hesitant step towards you before placing his hand gently on your cheek. 
Or at least, attempting to. You flinch away and Harry’s hand falls to his side. “Y/N,” He starts quietly. “Don’t think-”
Your laughter cuts him off as your eyes flick angrily back to his. “if you wanted me to believe that, you wouldn’t come home smelling like another woman.” Harry’s heart freezes as his eyes widen. You pull his left hand up, “You wouldn’t leave your wedding ring out for me to see every time I was my hands.” 
Harry tries to pull his hand back, ashamed at the idea of his ring haunting you, but your grip only tightens. “You wouldn’t have a hickey. One I didn’t give you considering we haven’t had sex in months.” Your other hand is point hard into his chest to where a mark lays covered partially by his shirt. 
You let go of him as you fall onto the edge of the bed and look up at him with tears. He feels his chest constrict as he sits down next to you. He pulls both your hands into his, “Y/N...” He says quietly. “I am so sorry.” 
Tears threaten to spill from his eyes as you try to pull away from him. “Am I not good enough?” You ask quietly. He pulls you to him but you thrash in his arms. “Seventeen years of my life. Four kids. Everything. I gave you everything.” You’re crying but your voice is cold. 
You’re thrashing stops and it’s silent. Harry reluctantly lets go of you and you immediately stand up again. You look at him expectantly and Harry feels like he’s going to throw up as he looks down at his hands. 
“It didn’t mean anything.” he says quietly. Truthfully. “It never meant- I love you.” He stresses. He falls from the bed to his knees in front of you. “You’re the love of my life.” He thinks of college. His law school graduation. He thinks getting promoted and buying your home. 
He thinks of divorce papers as you look away from him. “How long?” You ask quietly. 
“Please.” Harry begs. Where would he go if you kicked him out? Mitch would tell him he was an idiot. He loved you. Would his mom take your side? She should, he thinks. Gemma would want to kill him. 
“How long?” You ask coldly. Your face has steeled itself. Harry can see the tension in your jaw and almost feels his dinner coming up. 
“A month.” He wraps his arms around you. He nuzzles his face into your stomach. He sees your hand twitch, almost like you want to run a hand through his hair. “It meant nothing. Y/N. I’ll end it right now.” 
Stupid. His head screams. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 
“Okay.” You unwrap yourself from his arms and step away. Harry watches you confused as you move towards your side of the bed. “I’m going to bed.” You rub a hand over your face before laying down. 
Harry stands awkwardly unsure of what to do with himself. He knew he couldn’t sleep in the bed. That something like that was probably the last thing you wanted to do. 
“Take a shower. Sleep in the guest room.” Your back is facing him and he sees your arms wrapped around yourself. This bed is too big for one person, he thinks. That’s selfish of you; His conscious tells him. 
He moves quickly to get pajamas from the closet. He debates showering in the ensuite, maybe he’d be able to see you again before sleeping, but he turned out of the room. 
He would shower in the kids bathroom. 
-
The guest room was cold. It was the only bedroom downstairs and that made it felt ten times lonelier to Harry. It was rarely used too. Gemma would stay in it when she visited L.A, but she had gotten her own apartment in the city and it was no longer used frequently. 
Your parents lived only an hour away and had no need to spend nights at your house and his mother was rarely able to make the flight over the ocean. It felt like something staged for the sale of a house. 
Harry sighs as he sits on the edge of the bed. With his head in his hands he thinks over where he went wrong. He had never meant for this to happen. For any of this. 
The distance had been a byproduct of the stress. He was worried about the kids. He had done the numbers and sure you two were well off, but four kids was expensive. You had stored any more you’d made from your book in savings. A rainy day fund didn’t calm Harry’s nerves.  
So he worked more. And he went out after work for a drink or two. And he talked. That’s what it had started out as. Just talking numbers over with Hannah, who helped him work them out. She wanted to be a divorce lawyer. Or maybe it was just broad family law. 
Harry thought that was ironic now that his marriage would probably be over. It was running through numbers. Maybe there was a hand on the knee or feet that were just too class together. Things he had brushed off as accidents and completely unintentional. Then it had been him walking her to her car. Then she had kissed him and well- Harry isn’t blameless. 
It would be ridiculous for him to say he was. 
He falls back onto the bed and lets out a shaky breath. How had he been so stupid? 
He sits back up immediately and pulls out his cellphone. He hadn’t even saved her number. They almost never texted and would usually just see each other at the bar. It had only been two weeks since they had kissed by her car. They had only-
He can’t believe he had let it get this far. He can’t believe he’s sitting here justifying himself with onlys. 
He’s unsure of what to say. Should he apologize? It wasn’t anymore her fault than it was his own. 
I have kids and a wife I love. This was wrong. I’m sorry. 
Harry flinches. He felt gross and guilty. The shower hadn’t done anything but sobered him up. He felt everything over and over. Nausea, a headache bound to come on, guilt and just pain. 
He pulls up Mitch’s message strain. Won’t be in tomorrow. Not feeling great. 
He responds within minutes. Hope she doesn’t leave your ass. I’d take her side. 
Harry lets out an empty laugh. Wouldn’t everyone? His mother loved you. She had since the two of you had met in college. When you had found out you were pregnant a semester before graduation his mother had been nothing but supportive; Especially when your parents had poorly hidden their own disappointment. 
Gemma thought of you as the sister she never had. Her and Harry were close, but over the last almost twenty years you and her had grown closer. 
His mind drifts to the kids. How could he do this to the kids? Force them go through what had been devastating to him. He may not practice family law, but he knew how it worked. You worked from home all the time and had been taking care of them their entire lives. 
They would ask the kids where they wanted to go, they would refuse to leave their mother. Harry would too, you were home to everyone in the family. Life without you sounded meaningless. 
Why did you do it then? He shakes his head. He doesn’t know. It wasn’t like you had stopped giving him attention, there was no time for sex and work got in the way of dates. It was his fault. 
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The word repeats itself over and over again in his head. . Even if he could find ways you had ignored him or cast him to the side it would be pointless. It would be placing blame on a blameless person. It was his fault. 
He crawls under the comforter. It’s nowhere near as soft as the one you had chosen for the bedroom. The sheets weren’t slept in so they didn’t feel as soft and worn. Harry thinks of having to find his own sheets and bed, his heart drops. 
He doesn’t sleep. Unable to stop the back and forth of how do I fix this and will she even let me try? 
-
Harry’s fingers tap incessantly on the drivers wheel as he makes his way home from Serena and Oliver’s school. Persephone had been pretty silent to entire drive to her high school, but Oliver had done more than covered for her with his stories. 
How had it gone from breakfast together at least once a week and and family game nights to Oliver wanting nothing more than to be in his mother’s car and Persephone sitting in pure silence. 
Harry’s mind trails back to you as he drives. You had barely spared him a second glance as you sat down to join them at the breakfast table. He had felt his hesitant smile drop when you looked away from him. And even though talking to the kids all morning had caused his happiness to jump, there was still pain steadily flowing as he thought of what your plan was. 
Would you kick him out? Selfishly, he thought that was his biggest fear. Not having you and the kids to come home to everyday and losing the comfort it had always brought him. he had taken advantage of it and now that it could slip through his fingers at any moment he felt disgusting. 
The drive allows him to wallow in his thoughts, but pulling into the driveway is a far worse feeling. Knowing that you were inside and could give him news that would kill him.
Was he allowed to feel that way? He asks himself. Like you leaving him would kill him, when it would be because of his own choices. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to straighten himself out as he steps out of the car and begins the walk towards the front door.
He mumbles apologies and empty words as he walks up. Unsure of what he could say to you to break the silence. When he opens the door, you’re sitting with Jack as he babbles and plays with his toys on the floor. 
“Forgot how much Olly could talk.” Harry settles on starting with. He lets out an awkward laugh as you stand and lift Jack up before placing him in the play pen. You lean down and tickle him gently. “Please don’t escape, little Houdini.” Once you let him go and step away the young boy crawls away with a giggle. 
You make your way towards the kitchen silently and Harry walks behind you with a nervous buzzing feeling in his chest.
You take a deep breath and Harry watches as you slide a piece of paper over the counter and towards. As his eyes scan down the list he feels a sliver of hope creep into his heart.
“What’s this?” He asks quietly. It’s names and phone numbers that have his heart beating a million miles per second.
“A list of marriage counselors.” His eyes follow your finger as you point towards each name and number. “For us to see once a week.”
The hope in him is growing by the second as words keep coming out of your mouth. “You’re not leaving me?” He blurts out in shock.
Your stance turns defensive and Harry takes a deep breath trying to calm himself. “No.” You answer quietly. “Not yet anyways.” Harry can’t help the furrow of his brow as the words hit him. It wasn’t definite and this was a test. You sigh which forced Harry to move his attention back to you. “We have four kids together. A life. And no matter how much you hurt me, I still love you.”
Harry bites back the smile threatening to cross his face. Because despite everything, you love him. You still did. You both glance at your ring finger when he notices you twisting the ring around it. “You’re the love of my life. I don’t want to throw that all away without trying first.”
Harry can’t stop the smile this time as happiness bursts inside him. “Y/N.” He says quietly.
He kind of zones out as he watches you go over what you want to do from here. Counseling and cutting hours back at the firm. Neither a punishment in Harry’s mind.
“I’m not sure if you like, ended it with her.” You start and he nods hastily. “I have. I did last night. I’ll never talk to her again.” He promises. He feels guilt again but part of is held back by the unadulterated hope he has now.
He debates taking the steps towards you before finally deciding it was necessary. When you don’t move away, he pulls you into a cautious hug, one that he’s shocked to feel returned.
“Thank you.” He whispers and you nod.
He would fix this. He swore it. This wasn’t a maybe in his head, it was necessary.
-
Your heart was glass I dropped it.
Champagne Problems.
-
Notes:
Just a small piece while you all wait for third main part to wkm! thank you for the endless patience. hope you all are safe & healthy.
427 notes · View notes
thornedrose44 · 4 years ago
Text
Prompt: “I can’t do this. Just leave me alone.”
Read on AO3
"Goodnight, Kara." Lena said from across the room when she finally managed to catch Kara's eye.
It was the first time they had made eye contact since Kara had welcomed her inside at the start of the night. Kara startled at the sudden sight of Lena, waving farewell as she stepped quietly towards the door, but made no move to follow after her and when the door swung quietly shut behind her Lena knew things would never be the same.
It was Kara's birthday party (her Earth birthday party to those that happened to be in the know, which to Lena's un-surprise was a rather considerable group all things considered). Kara had invited her, further proof of the strength of their newly reaffirmed friendship. Lena had been grateful for the invite, appreciating it as the sign that they were back on the right track, and accepted it without hesitation.
She had then proceeded to spend hours upon hours thinking of the perfect gift for Kara, excitement and anticipation building in her stomach.
It would be her first proper night out in months after being thrown back into her role as CEO and dealing with all the negative press following Lex’s downfall and upcoming conviction. Her working hours had reached an excess that she had never achieved before. The blowback onto her in the form of hatred for the Luthors was even greater than last time as well, despite her crucial role in taking Lex down. She was still deemed guilty by association especially since she had been working closely with Lex for a long time before revelations about his villainy became apparent.
The news were critiquing her every move, slandering her every chance they got and rallying the masses to a fervour - she was now facing at least one assassination attempt every week.
Regardless of all that, Lena had one salvation, one light of hope that she clung onto. Her friendship with Kara. It was growing again. They were spending time together. Relearning one another or learning about each for the first time in Lena's case. The conversation was finally less stilted and the trust was back.
But there was still something missing, something stopping them from returning to exactly where they were before.
Lena, as the months ticked by, realised that they were no longer as physically close as they once were. Hugs were rare. Gentle touches of the hands were swiftly snatched back to prevent lingering. Even extended eye contact was fleeting.
Lena at first thought the problem was that she had hurt Kara so badly that the woman who sometimes communicated solely through physical affection no longer wanted to be touched by Lena. That broke something in Lena. That Kara, even though she was trying to be kind, friendly and forgiving to Lena, was not comfortable with any sort of physical contact between them, drove Lena into a drunken stupor of college-level proportions.
Once the alcohol was out of her system and she had suitably recovered from her hangover, Lena had allowed the scientist within her to take over.
No more assumptions.
She would gather evidence, make an hypothesis and work towards a solution.
If she wanted Kara back in her life properly - cuddles on the sofa and lengthy hugs a necessity of that - Lena would put the effort in.
So she observed… and what she observed was this…
Pink cheeks and bashful expressions whenever their gazes met.
A thick swallow and faltering breath whenever their hands brushed.
Deep sighs and fingers digging fleetingly into her back as if on the edge of pulling her closer whenever they embraced.
Dark eyes and teeth biting into a bottom lip whenever Lena stretched or moved her hair away from her neck.
Attraction, affection and interest .
Lena didn’t believe the results of her evidence; she re-ran the tests over and over again trying to work out if she had just interacted with Kara on an odd day, if she just happened to be thinking about something (someone) else at the same time but… it kept happening over and over again.
If it had been anyone else, Lena wouldn’t have doubted what she was seeing but… but.. This was Kara.
Kara, who she had been in love with since she had walked into her office with her cousin.
Kara, who had never picked up on or reacted to her flirts.
Kara, who had broken her heart with lies.
Kara, who meant so much to her.
Kara, who she had only just gotten back.
Was it worth the risk?
Fear had blinded her, of that she had no doubt, but was it keeping her safe from the hurtful truth of Kara not wanting to touch her anymore or from the potential happiness that Kara returned her feelings but was too sweet or shy to put herself in a position that would make Lena uncomfortable.
Lena decided to take a chance - just this once because even if she was wrong about Kara not feeling the same, she had to believe that Kara was incapable of being cruel to her if she misread it. They promised each other honesty and Lena intended to show it.
It was why she needed to buy the perfect present, something that hinted that Kara’s feelings (if Lena was right) were returned. And just a week before the party, she knew exactly what the perfect present would be.
She wrapped it personally (normally Jess would wrap any gifts she had to send out), wanting to go the extra mile. It wasn’t perfectly done, a bit messy in places and the sellotape was excessive but she had done it herself which she knew Kara would appreciate more than professional gift wrapping.
Lena, however, realised that she had made a mistake the second she arrived at Kara's.
Knew she had misread… everything …
Because Kara… Kara couldn't stand to be near her for longer than it took to say hello, accept the present and then disappear off.
Lena hadn’t expected to be with Kara for all of the party; it was Kara's party and loads of her friends were in attendance, all of whom wanted to spend it with Kara. Who wouldn't?
It's just… Lena…
Lena didn't have anyone else.
It was made abundantly clear to Lena within the first thirty seconds that she was not welcome. Alex gave her a gruff nod from across the room before turning her back to her - she still didn't trust her and Lena had prioritised winning Kara back over the last few months above everything else. Brainy and Nia smiled at her but they were deep in conversation with CatCo employees all of whom were practically snarling at Lena (clearly not Luthor fans). James was here as well and dear God did he give her such a blazing look of hatred Lena was surprised she didn't burst into flames under its ferocity. (They hadn’t dated in this rewritten universe, much to Lena’s pleasure, though his original dislike for her was clearly a mainstay of every universe).
So… Lena grabbed a drink and stood in the corner as Kara moved seamlessly between her various groups of friends and colleagues, never once sparing Lena even a glance. The majority of her movements were accompanied by William Dey, who repeatedly tried to sling an arm around Kara's shoulder - the only joy Lena got from the evening was watching Kara repeatedly squirm out from under his touch.
She held out for two hours, sipping three beers and glancing intermittently at her phone as she stayed in her corner, hoping that Kara would come over for just five minutes.
Five minutes with Kara wasn't too much to ask for, was it?
Five mere minutes with Kara would have made the whole night worth it, made the glares and malevolent whispers sent her way worth it.
It was at the two hour mark that Lena accepted the truth.
Kara wasn't going to come over to talk to her.
Kara hadn't been pulling away from her due to a sudden realisation of feelings and attraction.
Kara hadn't expected her to accept the invite. Hadn't wanted her to accept.
Kara was ashamed of her, that was why she pulled away, why she didn't acknowledge her.
Lena couldn't really blame her but that didn't mean she had to stay and take it. So gathering what was left of her dignity, she shuffled towards the door, caught Kara's eye, waved and slipped outside… though, not before retrieving the present she had brought for Kara… it would have revealed far too much and Lena didn't need to deal with that on top of everything else.
Lena returned to her office for no other reason that she still had some good liquor stored there - Kara had encouraged her a couple of months ago to cut back on her drinking and she couldn’t deny the baby blue puppy dog eyes. She staggered into her office, chucking the present she had spent hours creating onto the sofa - she would buy Kara some random meaningless gift like a nice scarf or jumper tomorrow instead - and poured herself a full tumbler before flipping open her laptop and getting to work. She lost herself in designs and business plans as she made her way through the bottle.
She used to sit and brood when she drank but Sam had made her promise she wouldn’t do that anymore, hazel eyes filled with concern at where Lena’s mind wandered when unoccupied and fuelled by alcohol. Whilst Lena was in a pretty bleak space, she refused to hurt her last (and only) friend by breaking the one promise she had made to her.
It must have been two am when Lena heard a familiar thud from the balcony followed by a gentle knock that could only belong to one person.
“Kara, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Lena called out, not bothering to lift her gaze away from her laptop screen - she wasn't sure whether the sight of Kara would evoke tears or fury and she wished to give Kara neither.
“Hey… I just wanted… I was…" Kara stammered out; Lena didn't need to see her to know that she was fidgeting with the edge of her cape as she tiptoed nervously closer. "You know… flying around and saw the light on and figured I would check in on you, see how you were doing…”
“I’m fine. Just working.” Lena replied brusquely taking a sip of her whiskey.
“And drinking…” Kara muttered, her tone more worried than disapproving but Lena took offense regardless.
“Yes. It’s a Saturday night, cut me some slack.” Lena snapped back, defiantly swallowing what was left in her glass before slamming it down onto her desk.
The loud clack as it connected with the surface was followed by a heavy, almost suffocating silence.
“You left early.” Kara whispered into the unnatural stillness, shattering the fraudulent focus Lena had on her computer screen with those three words. Kara didn't sound confused or upset, just painfully neutral as if to emotionally step back from the situation so that she could garner some emotional truth from the CEO instead.
Well, Lena was done with that, done with giving more of herself than Kara wanted so she took a deep, calming breath and allowed her painstakingly crafted mask to slip into place.
“I wasn’t the first to leave.” Lena pointed out calmly, finally turning to look at Kara, certain she could keep her voice and face blank. It was then that she saw how… small Kara looked, which was never a word Lena would have used to describe Kara in full Supergirl regalia in the entire time she had known her. Kara looked defeated and lost, a tremble to her lip and very being that she tried to hide behind a shy smile.
“Well… I didn’t get a chance to talk to you…” Kara replied, ducking her head meekly as she admitted. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Lena pursed her lips at that, “I was there for over two hours, Kara. You could have come over whenever you wanted. It wasn’t like I was occupied.”
“Yeah… what was that about?” Kara laughed, rubbing the back of her neck, trying far too hard to make her tone light as if even the idea of Lena being without company was an entirely absurd concept.
The high-pitch to Kara's laugh and the unfamiliar tension around her eyes revealed to Lena that Kara knew exactly why Lena had been standing all alone that evening.
“I’m a Luthor, Kara." Lena replied sharply, not interested in trying to smooth over the harsh truths like Kara was always so keen to do when it suited her. "No one wanted me there and they all made that very clear.”
“I wanted you there.” Kara replied so soft and earnest that Lena nearly believed her.
“I highly doubt that.” Lena scoffed derisively.
“I did.” Kara insisted, eyes desperate and pleading.
Lena merely shook her head, turning back to face her computer, “If you say so…”
“Lena, I-”
“Kara… I can’t…” Lena muttered, her voice cracking in the exact way she didn’t want it to. “I can’t do this. Just leave me alone.” Lena requested, hating how it verged on begging.
“What?” Kara murmured in shock.
“I can’t just… pretend that I’m not hurt or upset.” Lena confessed, fingers curling into fists on her desk, eyes slamming shut to lock in the tears. “I just need… time to get over it and accept what we are. So until then… please just leave me alone.”
“I hurt you.” Kara repeated, her voice broken and raw .
“Kara, I didn’t…” Lena shook her head angrily, she didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to inflict herself on Kara who had tried so hard to be her friend. “It's your birthday, Kara.” Lena sighed sadly, “You get to spend it anyway you like with whomever you like.”
“I wanted to spend it with you.” Kara breathed, and Lena could hear the sharp inhales between each word that revealed that Kara was crying.
“Kara, you don’t need to…” Lena assured, with a wave of her hand, eyes focused on her lap, “let’s just leave it, okay?”
“No…” Kara gasped, and suddenly Lena felt a trembling hand connect with her own tightly curled fists, “wait… what did you mean ‘get over it’ and ‘accept what we are’?”
Lena sucked in a sharp breath at the question, biting down harshly on her bottom lip.
“Lena?” Kara pressed.
“Fuck it, fine.” Lena snapped, yanking her hands away from Kara’s infinitely soft touch and shoving herself out of her chair before storming away from Kara, desperate for space. “I thought you liked me.”
“I do-” Kara began, taking a tentative step after her.
“No, Kara.” Lena yelled, spinning back to face Kara, with a twisted snarl of total self-loathing. “Liked me.” Lena stressed, before throwing her hands up into the air as it all just boiled out of her, “God, I sound like a teenager. I thought you liked me. I thought you were touching me less because you were attracted to me. But then… I go to your party and you don’t… it was like you were ashamed of me, I sat in that fucking corner for two hours as everyone wished - out loud, I should say - that I would go. I sat in that fucking corner in the hope that you would speak to me for five minutes. For just five minutes. Because that… that would have made it all worth it. But you could barely look at me. And I realised you didn’t - don’t - like me… you’re ashamed of me, but you’re too kind to abandon me. Too noble and generous but even you have your limits. Of course, you didn’t want to spend your birthday talking to me. Of course you didn’t.”
Lena wanted to punch a wall, wanted to down the rest of her whiskey, wanted to do literally anything than be here in this moment watching the horror-struck expression on Kara’s face grow and grow with every word, watch Kara’s body tremble and shake with each harsh sweeping gesture.
“Lena, no… you…” Kara sobbed, striding towards her with fingers twitching at her sides, “you have got the complete wrong end of the stick. Actually, you’re right but also really wrong. And…” Kara swiped aggressively at the tears rolling down her cheeks as she approached Lena, stopping when the raven-haired woman flinched at their sudden closeness. “I screwed up but-”
“No. You don’t need to do this.” Lena cut in, holding a hand up to stop Kara, wanting Kara to know that her guilt was unnecessary and that she could finally be free of Lena.
“Lena, I’m so-”
“You don’t need to apologise.” Lena insisted, taking a deep breath to rein back in her swirl of her emotions. She could do this. She could let Kara go. “You were trying to be kind but you shouldn’t… god, if I make you that miserable, that uncomfortable, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to interact with me.”
“LENA!” Kara bellowed, stamping her foot to the ground and lifting her chin to reveal a determined expression.
Lena blinked in shock at the sudden volume and intensity; falling obediently quiet.
Kara placed her hands on her hips, took a deep breath, looked Lena straight in the eye with earnest, beseeching blue and declared, “I want to kiss you right now because that would be the big sweeping action that would prove to you that I mean what I’m about to say next but… you’ve been drinking… heavily from the looks of things.” Kara shot a displeased pout at the nearly empty bottle of whiskey as if it was all the bottle’s fault for Lena’s current state of inebriation and not the youngest Luthor’s unhealthy coping mechanisms. Kara turned back to face a stunned Lena, with a fond smile, “And I really want our first kiss to be one you remember and one you can fully consent to. So, you’re just going to have to believe me… please, please believe me when I say… I’m in love with you and I fucked up massively tonight. Really, really fucked up.”
“You never swear.” Lena murmured quietly, and it probably wasn’t what she should have been focusing on but her brain was currently stuck like a record scratch unable to fully comprehend what Kara had just told her; and the swear was just the cherry on top of an entire sundae of confusing and out-of-the-blue revelations.
“Which shows how much I believe that I fucked up.” Kara replied with a helpless shrug.
“But-”
“You were the only person I wanted to spend my birthday with.” Kara confessed, “Well, Alex at some point as well. But you mostly. Alex planned the party and I couldn’t…” Kara huffed out a frustrated breath and rolled her eyes, “she did this whole thing and I didn’t want to turn around and say I didn’t want it. That all I really wanted was a quiet night watching films with you because…” Kara sighed, “because then she’d know… To make it more bearable I invited you but there were so many other people, and I will be honest… I don’t even like half of them. Alex, just invited everyone I was friends on facebook with which is not a good barometer of friendship.”
Lena cleared her throat, none of it making sense, “Then why-”
“Did I ignore you?” Kara guessed with a painful wince.
“Yeah…” Lena muttered, wrapping her arms protectively around herself.
“Because… because I knew, or at least I thought I knew, that you hadn’t noticed how I felt about you.” Kara explained inching just that little bit closer towards Lena, attempting to bring them within touching distance of one another. “And I knew it was only a miracle that you hadn’t until now because…” Kara smiled a lopsided, rueful and self-deprecating smile, “Lena, I am not subtle. Not at all. And I knew… I knew if I interacted with you at the party… everyone else would be able to tell in an instant how I felt.”
Lena exhaled slow and deep, arms tightening their hold around herself, “And you didn’t want them knowing you liked me?”
“Love. Not like.” Kara corrected, patient yet firm, “Love. And no, I didn’t.”
Lena nodded once in understanding, letting out a hollow laugh, “I get it. I wouldn’t want anyone to know I loved me either.”
“Lena… no… no… you…” Kara rushed to explain, finally stepping close enough to reach out and place her hands gently on Lena’s curled biceps. Lena couldn’t help how she instinctively shifted closer, wanting to increase contact with Kara after being denied it for so long. “I didn’t want anyone knowing before you.” Kara admitted.
And that… that snapped something back into place for Lena.
Made the doubts screaming inside her head quieten down just enough to think… maybe…
Because… it was being last that had broken them the first time. Being the only one not to know and now…
“I didn’t want Stacy, who used to cheat off me in exams in college to know how I felt about you before you did.” Kara said, thumbs moving back and forth against the bare skin of Lena’s arms causing a swathe of goosebumps to rise like a wave in the wake of Kara’s every touch. “They didn’t deserve that. They didn’t deserve…” Kara’s jaw clenched, eyes darkening as she studied Lena’s face, “I was trying to protect you from them. They said horrible things about you and you should know, the minute after you left, I kicked everyone who so much as looked at you funny out. It was just me, Nia, Brainy and Kelly left… Alex, as well, but we had a rather heated argument before she was allowed to stay.” Kara bowed her head in shame, “I should have kicked them all out immediately but-”
“Then they would have known.” Lena finished for her.
“I had this whole thing planned.” Kara breathed out, her hands gradually shifting away from Lena’s arms around to her back, surrounding Lena in a loose hold, Kara’s eyes flickering over Lena’s face and body rapidly searching for even the slightest sign that Lena was uncomfortable with their contact. “Once everyone left, I had set-up the roof with lights and cushions and… I was going to tell you how I felt. I just had to make it through the birthday party from hell and I was trying so hard to keep to the plan. To not spoil it. To keep it a secret so that it could just be ours but... I…” Kara’s eyes slid shut and she inhaled a shuddering breath filled with pain. “I hurt you. And there is nothing I can say to make you forgive me, but I do… I do love you so much. And I will never, ever be ashamed of you.” Kara blinked her eyes back open and leaned forward to place a kiss on Lena’s forehead. “I just wanted it to be ours and not theirs. I didn’t want to share. You’re the only thing in my life that… I didn’t want to share.”
“Open your present.” Lena demanded, stepping out of Kara’s loving embrace.
“Lena-” Kara whimpered, pained at the sudden loss of closeness.
“Open your present, Kara.” Lena repeated, jerking her chin towards the sofa where the roughly wrapped present lay.
“I… okay…” Kara replied, watching Lena closely as she tried to make sense of Lena’s clear request. Kara walked cautiously over to the couch, picking up the gift with gentle hands. “Did you wrap it yourself?” Kara asked, her entire expression brightening as she stared down at the crooked, over sellotaped wrapping.
Lena harrumphed at the question, pursing her lips.
“You did, didn’t you?” Kara teased.
“The present isn’t the piss poor wrapping.” Lena replied with an exaggerated roll of her eyes that had the corners of Kara’s lips quirking even further upwards.
“Lena Luthor wrapped my present herself…", Kara whistled in awe, blue eyes twinkling with true delight for the first time that day, "what better gift is there?”
“Open it and you might find one.” Lena said, heart leaping into her throat as Kara’s deft fingers found a line of wrapping paper she could tuck them under.
The sound of paper ripping was deafening in the stillness; all Lena could do was watch and wait.
The paper fell away leaving behind a small black box, Kara shot Lena a hesitant look and it wasn’t until Lena nodded for her to continue that Kara clicked it open.
There was a pause.
A heavy, endless pause in which Lena couldn’t bring herself to even breathe.
“What is-” Kara began before cutting off immediately as she lifted up the beautiful bracelet made of nth metal and inscribed with ‘stronger together’ in Lena’s own cursive handwriting in both english and kryptonian.
The bracelet shined under the lights in Lena’s office, but in Lena’s opinion, Kara’s eyes shined impossibly brighter.  
“You’re in love with me.” Kara whispered, seeing the present for everything Lena had hoped it would convey.
“Yes.” Lena confirmed because there was no hiding it now.
With trembling fingers Kara clasped the bracelet onto her wrist, long fingers tracing the words delicately inscribed with no small amount of wonder. Finally, she turned around and stared at Lena with so much sheer love that the youngest Luthor felt overwhelmed and like her heart might burst right out of her chest in its desire to be in Kara’s possession
Clearing her throat and clasping her hands behind her back, Lena gathered her courage and asked, “If I promise you I’ll remember it and that I am fully consenting… will you kiss me now?”
Kara was in front of her in the literal blink of the eye, hands reaching out to cup Lena’s cheeks as Lena’s hands moved to rest on Kara’s hips gently encouraging their bodies closer with a light tug.
“There is nothing I want more.” Kara assured with the widest grin that Lena had ever seen and couldn’t help but return.
Their first kiss could barely count as a kiss.
Their smiles were too wide to allow for it, but Lena wouldn’t change it even slightly. They pressed their smiles against one another, teeth knocking together and noses brushing.
It may not have been a successful kiss but it was tender and filled with so much joy that Lena wouldn’t describe it as anything less than perfect.  
Their second kiss was an actual kiss, lips slotting together, tongues seeking each other out and teeth tugging whimpers and moans from one another in an endless cycle.
Their second kiss turned into a third, a fourth, a fifth.
They kissed until the sun rose.
Kissed until their lips ached and any remaining doubts Lena may have had were pushed back into the shadows by the light of Kara’s smile and blue eyes.
650 notes · View notes
angellesword · 4 years ago
Text
EUPHORIA | JJK
It’s Sunday. Jeongguk was supposed to be at the gym, serving looks. You were supposed to be at the church, serving the Lord. But you two were at the mall, looking for baby toys. You guessed this was your punishment for letting him stick his dick inside of you instead of just using an adult toy.
Alternatively:
“We share the same painful views. Won’t you please stay in my dreams.”
word count: 2.6k (one-shot) PART OF INTRO SERIES
pairing: husband!Jungkook x wife!reader
genre and content warnings: established relationship, angst, fluff, married au, (forced marriage) mention of premarital sex, pregnancy, abortion, Catholic guilt, death, and mental illness.
Tumblr media
Sunday was church day.
This was what your whole family made you believe ever since you were young. They were firm believers of God. In fact, your first word wasn't like what most babies said.
Jesus. This was your first word and your mom wasn't even complaining. She loved to brag about it to other lectors and commentators. Your father, a lay minister, also took pride sharing the same story over and over again.
Frankly speaking, you were getting tired of it.
Don't get it twisted. You loved Jesus and you believed that he was your savior. You even sang worship songs at the church every Sunday. You were the head of the choir; every church goer knew you—well, not only church goers.
Literally everyone around you knew you.
You were also popular at school. People referred to you as the good girl who had it all.
You were pretty, smart, and your boyfriend was none other than Jeon Jeongguk.
The man you were dating was a jock. He made it clear that he didn't like studying, but he still wanted to go to a university and apply for scholarship. You had no doubt that he would get what he wanted.
Jeongguk was a star football player after all.
"Babe, what do you think of this?" You showed Jeongguk a stuffed animal. It was a rabbit.
"Cute," he grinned at you. Jeongguk wasn't sure what he found cute. Was it you or was it the stuffed toy?
You and Jeongguk were currently at the mall, buying toys for Haneul, your son who was turning one this month.
"We'll buy this next time.”
The smile Jeongguk was sporting turned into a scowl when you put the toy back to the shelf.
"Next time?" He furrowed his brow, reaching for the rabbit. "Why can't we buy it now?"
"Guk," you let out a sigh. He was feigning innocence but you knew better.
You knew you couldn't afford this kind of toy. Why did you even ask him to go here? It was obvious that you didn't belong here.
Years ago, you and Jeongguk had plans. He wanted to be a famous football player while you decided to major in Marketing; however, your dreams had been shattered when you found out that you were pregnant with his baby.
You didn't know what to do that time. You just graduated high school. Actually, you were supposed to take the college entrance exam at Seoul University.
The test didn't happen because you felt sick that day. You had been vomiting non-stop and everything smelt awful.
You still took a test, though. It wasn't the kind of test you were expecting. You woke up that day to chase you dream, but instead you ended up chasing your breath as you cried and cried and cried.
You took a pregnancy test and the numbing slap of your mother was enough for you to know that you were a disgrace.
A disgrace, a disappointment, an animal, a disrespectful child, and a....
sinner.
You accepted it all. You didn't mind that your whole family was insulting you inside and out.
You didn't blame them—couldn't blame them.
How could you do that when you saw yourself the same way they saw you?
Your mind was poisoning you. You were blaming yourself. You were blaming Jeongguk. He did this to you.
He did this to you because you let him.
So basically, this was your fault.
You ruined your future and the only way to restore everything back to normal was to have an abortion.
Of course you considered abortion. You were young and so, so scared. How could you take care of a child when you couldn't even take care of yourself?
And what about Jeongguk? He didn't deserve this shit. He was young too. He deserved the world, not a punishment.
You considered your child as a punishment. Why didn't you just stick to dildo? Or a fucking vibrator?
There were so many options. Why did you have to trust that stupid condom? You knew it didn't work all the time.
Nothing worked according to your plan.
"You are going to marry Jeon Jeongguk." Your father's words screamed authority.
Everyone in your family was aware that once your father demanded something, it should be followed without any questions. He rarely spoke, but when he did, it was absolute.
"But—" despite knowing the end of this discussion, you still tried to reason out.
You were only able to utter one word before you felt another deafening slap from your mother.
Or was it your father?
You had no idea.
All you knew was that everyone was either physically hurting you or emotionally manipulating you.
"No buts! My decision is final! You are going to marry that Jeon boy!"
Ah, that Jeon boy.
Poor Jeon Jeongguk. He had no idea what was about to happen to him. God. He didn't even know that you were carrying his child.
"We won't allow you to live like a slut anymore," your auntie crossed her arms.
This was the thing about your family. Everyone had a say, even your relative could discipline you. According to them, elders should always be respected. You had to follow what they said because apparently, they knew better than you.
Maybe they did. But still, you didn't want to force Jeongguk to marry you.
Sure, you two had been dating for three years now, but that wasn't enough. What if the love he felt for you wasn't the kind of love that you and your kid needed?
Perhaps you should have thought of that before giving into lust. The tiny voice inside your head sneered at you.
You could only sob.
It seemed like crying was all you could do.
You cried when you found out that you were pregnant, you cried when your parents found out that you were pregnant, and you cried when Jeongguk found out that you were pregnant.
All of this was happening because you were pregnant.
Except one thing:
Jeongguk wanted to marry you not because you were pregnant but because he loved you.
"You don't have to force me.” Jeongguk gritted his teeth when your whole family barged in his house.
Of course the Jeons were surprised. They weren't close to your family even though you lived two houses away from one another.
Your family didn’t want to associate themselves with the Jeons. The latter didn't really believe in the Lord, or even if they did, they were still far from religious.
They raised Jeongguk to be a sinner.
Your family firmly believed that you only got pregnant because Jeongguk forced you.
It wasn't true. You both wanted it to happen. You were consenting adults. Besides, your boyfriend asked you thousands of times if you truly wanted to do it.
He didn't force you. He respected you.
"I will marry her." Jeongguk said with confidence. He was looking at your father as if he was ready to knock him down.
"Jeongguk," his mother called softly. She was crying. She was broken. She was ashamed. She was sorry.
"It's alright, mom." The look Jeongguk gave his mother was the opposite of the glare he threw at your father.
Jeongguk was a sweet boy. He loved his parents so much.
"Shall we talk about the wedding, then?" Your father raised a brow.
Everything happened fast after that. Your family and Jeongguk's parents arranged the matrimony that was about to happen.
The Jeons offered to pay for the wedding expenses. Your family agreed. They didn't really care about the details. They only demanded a church wedding. They also wanted to marry you off as soon as possible.
They said it would be a shame if your baby bump appeared before the white event.
Since the preparation was short, you didn't have a choice but to wear a simple dress. Your mother insisted that you add veil as an accessory.
It was a hypocritical move, really. Veils symbolized innocence and purity.
You were neither.
You were a sinner and guilt was consuming your whole being.
Guilt for disappointing your family.
Guilt for breaking your promise to the Lord.
And guilt for taking something away from Jeongguk.
You took his freedom away.
The small apartment where you two now lived was not enough to showcase what he got. This abode was small, suffocating and confining his talents.
It was also too small to cater your unending tears.
You felt like you were drowning.
"Babe..." Your husband whispered, yet his voice still startled you.
You didn't answer—didn't have the energy to do so. You were drowning, remember? It didn't help that you feel suffocated too. The stupid dress you were wearing was too tight.
"You okay?" Jeongguk enquired, sighing.
He was worried about you. The two of you got married today. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days for brides, but why weren't you happy?
Why did you look...dejected?
"Yeah," you tried to offer him a smile. "I just feel hot."
You weren't lying. You didn't like the ambiance of your house. It felt like a vacation place, like you were a stranger, like you didn't belong.
It was because your mother and sisters were the ones who decorated this place.
"You think you can join me outside?" Your husband rubbed circled on your palm. "Let's have some fresh air?"
You nodded in a heartbeat.
You were tired, but you didn't want to be stuck in this room. You wanted...out.
"Okay.” Jeongguk helped you get on your feet. He was acting as though you were an expensive figurine ever since he learned that you were pregnant.
Your husband led you to the small garden of your home. You didn't know that your family decided to buy a place like this.
You were grateful though. The inside of your home was suffocating, but the garden appeared...magical.
"Jeongguk," your eyes widened in shock. "W-What's all this?"
Your hand was shaking as your eyes scanned the garden. There were fairy lights wrapped around the trees. The place was also decorated with different ornaments and pretty flowers.
Your favorite flowers.
"Do you like it?" Your husband was grinning at you. His eyes were shining brighter than the lights.
"Of course," you cupped his cheeks. "This is sweet, Kookie. Thank you.”
"Anything for you," he brought your hands closer to his mouth, kissing it.
"You deserve everything, baby." And with that, Jeongguk dropped on one knee.
"W-What are you doing!?" You panicked, eyes dilating once again.
"I know everything happened so fast." He started, licking his bottom lip. "We didn't have time to process everything. Our family decided what they think is good for us and trust me, I appreciate it."
You knew he was implying that he wanted this to happen.
"But I want to do something that I want.”  He fished a small box out of the pocket of his slacks.
You gasped.
"They told me to marry you." He opened the velvet box.
There was a ring.
"But they didn't give me the chance to do this," he raised the ring in the air.
"Baby," Jeongguk called, looking at your face with so much fondness. "You deserve a better proposal."
You were sobbing.
"You deserve a man dropping down on one knee. A man who will show you that he is serious about this marriage.”
He took your left hand.
"And I want to be that man. I want to be the man you deserved and not the boy your father coerced,"
You laughed, heart hammering through your chest. Jeongguk was so beautiful.
"I love you..." He confessed as he called your name. "Will you marry me?"
The yes that came out of your mouth was instant. You didn't hesitate. You didn't feel guilty. You just felt....happy.
Jeongguk put the ring on your finger. He kissed your stomach before standing up to crash his lips against yours.
Jeongguk no longer tasted like regret.
He tasted like forever.
Forever...
You swore you would stay with him forever. You felt silly for doubting him.
Jeongguk was a good man.
Your house no longer felt suffocating. It was loaded with love and laughter and it made your heart swell with joy.
Your family didn't bother your life anymore. You were on your own. They stopped supporting you. They said you made a choice—a choice to be a mother.
A mother was a provider, a natural giver.
You provided for your new family. You worked harder. You had two jobs: a waitress and elementary tutor.
Jeongguk continued studying. He was a student in the morning and a delivery boy at night.
You two worked in the same restaurant. Jeongguk tried to cover your shift as much as possible. He was basically doing your job.
He was scared. What if you overworked yourself? He didn't want you to work but you said you had to.
Raising a baby was expensive.
But you did it.
Haneul was turning one year old this month. He was a bright kid and he looked exactly like his father. They had the same brown eyes, so innocent and wide.
You knew you would do anything for your baby—well—except for one.
You wouldn't buy this stuffed toy for him. It's not like you didn't want to. It was more like you couldn't.
You couldn't afford it.
You couldn't, but Jeongguk could.
"Let's buy it...” He repeated. "I have money. I worked overtime last night.”
Your husband was still a delivery boy. You, on the other hand, quit your job so that you could look after your baby.
"Are you sure? This is expensive, Kook." You bit your lower lip.
Jeongguk smiled at you.
"But Haneul will like it.”
His reason was enough for you to just give in.
Of course.
Anything for your little Jeon. You would die for your son.
"Haneul, we're home!" You cooed loudly.
You were excited to see your baby. Jeongguk told you to give Haneul the stuffed toy while he go and express his gratitude to your neighbor for looking after baby Haneul.
Little did you know, Jeongguk was lying.
There was no neighbor to talk to.
It was only an excuse so that he could stare at you through the window as you rocked the empty crib in your room.
You were singing.
"You are the sunlight that rose again in my life..." Your voice was sweet that Jeongguk couldn't help but cry a little.
For you, Haneul was light. He shed light when you felt like giving up.
"You are the cause of my euphoria," your child was also the cause of your happiness.
Without him, you would be lost.
Jeongguk knew it.
Haneul.
This was the name you chose for your kid. It meant heaven.
For you, Haneul was God sent.
But Jeongguk was wondering.
If Haneul was God sent, then why did the Lord take him immediately?
Why did your Lord take him away from you and Jeongguk?
"Close the door now..." You continued to sing.
Jeongguk's heart clenched.
He watched you every day, so he already knew the next line of the song.
He sang with you.
"When I'm with you I'm in utopia..."
Utopia was a special place. A fantasy world. A world where everything was possible.
In Utopia, Haneul was still alive.
Jeongguk wasn't crazy.
He knew you needed help.
You were in denial. Too caught up in fantasy that you refused to believe that your son was already dead the moment he was born.
Haneul died in your womb.
He tried telling you, but you didn't want to acknowledge it.
You became hysterical when the words dead and Haneul were mentioned in the same sentence.
Jeongguk avoided using those words. It had been months now, almost a year actually.
He wondered if he could still continue pretending.
Looking at you hurt.
He guessed it was time to let go.
Not now, but soon.
For today, he just wanted to believe that utopia was real.
It should be fine, right?
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furiousgoldfish · 3 years ago
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Hey. I am the guy from earlier, who sent the ask about being tortured. I saw a lot of people replying to my ask and I would just like to say thank you, to you and everyone who is on my side. I also want to clear something up. I was in school with this guy between the ages of 14 and 18. I was hiding most of the things he was doing to me because I was ashamed of it, but my parents and teachers knew that it was going on. I mean, I was sent to the hospital multiple times because of him, once almost dying, when he cut me. His parents are very rich and very religious and they would either buy or pray his way out of everything. My family used to say to me, when it was happening, that God allows this to happen to me to test me and see if I become hateful and lose my faith. I was brought up to believe that dealing with all the pain was the only way to go. My mother even made me pray for this dude after she saw the burns he left on me. Teachers would literally pass down the hall and see him beating me and be like "If you kids have something to solve, take it outside." I don't know if this makes my family and teachers abusive as well or just stupid but yeah. This guy is now working to be a lawyer and he has this great career ahead and he is married and all, he has his life together, and people straight up told me that this is a sign that God forgave him and so should I. That if Jesus was tortured but he forgave the Romans why can't I forgive this one dude? And I just tell them I ain't Jesus. Sorry for the rent, I just wanted to explain things a bit since I saw people were interested. I also never spoke to anyone about it like this and it feels good to let it out.
- Danny
I was absolutely shocked and disgusted reading this, they did WHAT? I mistakenly assumed they just 'let it happen and looked away despite you being very obviously tortured' but this is completely despicable, out of this world, evil. God allows this to happen? It's them who were responsible to stop it! They were supposed to stand up to the child torture regardless of how rich or religious the parents were! You were almost KILLED and they were willing to sacrifice your life? And they went a step further and brainwashed you so you could get tortured some more! I am livid. They made you pray for your torturer. This should never have happened. Nobody was ever supposed to say these horrid, heinous things to you after you were freaking tortured.
I can't consider these people human anymore. Whoever can allow a child to be tortured and VICTIM BLAME THE CHILD INSTEAD OF TURNING THE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN TO STOP IT, is a monster in my eyes.
It's no wonder you're struggling to see how wrong these people are, since they started grooming you at such a young age, while you were tortured, that you exist to be killed for the sake of religion and other people's comfort, and that even then you're supposed to forgive whoever did this to you. It's all lies. You were a child, you were getting so badly hurt your life was in danger, and people protected what was hurting you, instead of you.
This is a really awful case of religious abuse, I know there are forums of people traumatized from how badly they were expected to exist only as a sacrifice, only as a source of exploitation, while also being shamed for their lack of forgiveness. I hope you can find others like you, who have been thru somewhat similar situations, and know you're not alone, and other people struggle with the guilt for not forgiving too. Also that guy can die, even if god forgave him, we will not. Child torturers don't deserve second chances.
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