#it looks/feels like moisturizer (decent smell tho)

[miss-floral-thief]

got this at the dollar store idk about a 'sleep mask' but i guessi can keep it on for a few hours while i'm playing a game/before bed

[scapegrace74-blog]

Ceremonies

A/N  I’ve been very busy with work, life, etc. and haven’t found much time or energy to write.  Add to that the fact that I left Metric Jamie and Claire in a very happy place, wrapped up in each other under the eaves at Lallybroch.  But I found myself wondering how their return to normalcy might unfold, and this little glimpse is what I came up with.

There’s no song to go along with this fic, because finding accompanying music is time consuming!

All other parts of the Metric Universe are available on my AO3 page.   One of these days I’ll get around to re-ordering them chronologically.

September 1, 2018, Spitalfields, London, England

The door to their flat was tight in its frame, still swollen with damp from the aftermath of the fire.  Jamie rested his duffel bag on the hallway floor and gave it a strong nudge with his shoulder.  The wood acquiesced with a squeak.  Her erstwhile roommate and putative boyfriend ushered her into their home with a polite gesture.

Polite.  Since returning from Scotland the previous Monday, politeness had underscored every one of their interactions.  Jamie had accompanied her from Euston Station back to her temporary lodging at Joe and Gayle’s before wishing her good luck for the beginning of her second year lectures and kissing her farewell.  Politely.  His nightly texts were warm and punctual.  Yesterday’s phone conversation to make plans to pick up their keys, brief and business-like.  It wasn’t that Jamie was typically uncourteous.  Quite the opposite.  But there had been nothing polite about the way their bodies came together under the canopy of the laird’s bed at Lallybroch, and it was the juxtaposition that was unsettling.

Jamie re-appeared from his bedroom to find her standing in the middle of the barren living space, arms hanging loosely at her sides.

“I... uhh... I’ll leave ye tae settle in, Sassenach.  I’ll just jog down tae Tesco an’ grab us some basics.  We can do a big shop t’morrow.  If ye wish, that is,” he added hastily.

She dug through her purse to find Jamie some money to cover her half of the groceries.  When she turned to hand it to him, he had already left.

She wished there was a ceremony for what they were experiencing.  Working in healthcare, she had often been struck by the seemingly universal human need to ritualize times of transition.  Pregnancy to infancy.  Childhood to adulthood.  Single to couple.   Living to dead.  A ceremony delineated the transformation, helping those involved cast aside what was and replace it with what was to be.  Sadly, there was no such tradition for the metamorphosis from roommates to lovers.  They were just going to have to make it up as they went.

Surprisingly, their flat didn’t reek of smoke.  Instead, there was an odour of fresh paint and floor wax, but nothing remained of the whiffs of burnt toast, vetiver and damp running shoes that she first learned to associate with Jamie at home.  With a pleasant jolt, she realized that from now on, the apartment would smell of the life they made together.

Unpacking her small travel kit, Claire decided to take a shower.  Dripping wet and wrapped in only a towel, she retreated to her former bedroom while Jamie banged away in the kitchen, singing along exuberantly (though tunelessly) to Biffy Clyro as he made his lunch.

As the signatory of their former lease, Jamie had been the sole recipient of the tenant’s insurance settlement.  It was a paltry sum that he insisted on sharing equally with her.   Her bed furniture had survived intact, and she’d used up most of the money to pay for a new mattress and linens.  Standing beside them now, she considered whether replacements for her water-logged textbooks might not have been a better investment.  Would she even be sleeping in this room, or would she be sharing Jamie’s king-sized bed every night?  Despite the deliberate nature of their courtship, it was another detail they’d yet to address.

“Do ye want mustard on yer sand....” Jamie’s voice tapered off into breath as he entered the room and took in her state of near-nakedness.  She watched in amusement as the tops of his ears grew red.

“I’m sorry, Sassenach.  I shouldha knocked and no’ barged in.”

“It’s alright.  My door wasn’t closed.”

Approaching slowly, he traced the path of a bead of moisture as it escaped her unbound hair.  Her skin shivered to life beneath his touch.

“It feels strange tae be allowed tae see ye like this.  Tae touch ye like this.”

Her mind was bounding ahead of the scene.  Were they going to have sex?   Did she want to have sex?  She’d just emerged from the shower.  But then, sex with Jamie was worth a secondary wash.  Living together as they did, if they had sex every time one of them felt the urge, she’d have a UTI in no time.  During their brief introduction at Lallybroch, Jamie’s libido had proven to be near indefatigable.

“Good strange or bad strange?” she asked the far wall as her thoughts raced, hesitant to meet his gaze.

“The verra best strange ye can imagine,” he whispered in reply before stepping away deliberately.

“Once ye’re dressed, there’s a sandwich wi’ yer name on it in the kitchen.”

Dressing hastily, Claire joined him at the tiny circular dining table, stealing shy glances between bites.

“Thank you for lunch,” she smiled after her last mouthful.  

Unlike her own limited talents, years of bachelorhood had turned Jamie into a decent cook.  Twice a month he laboured over a giant pot of beef stew, adjusting the blend of vegetables and spices with near-scientific focus, before lugging it along with copious quantities of dinner rolls to the fire station, where it was devoured by dozens of appreciative co-workers.

“Och, twas nothin’,” he insisted.

“You’ve got a little smear... no, the other side... just there...”  

Leaning across the table, she wiped a splotch of mayonnaise from his coppery stubble.  Eyes flaring, he grabbed her wrist before she could lean away and deliberately pulled her thumb into his mouth, sucking it clean before releasing his hold.  The air between them pulsed with possibilities.

Once again, it was Jamie who broke the impasse, looking around the sun-filled space.

“This room is sae empty it echoes,” he remarked.

Claire glanced over her shoulder and had to agree.  Besides the two chairs and table they were currently occupying, the only other furniture that survived the fire and subsequent dousing of water and flame retardant was Jamie’s metal shelving unit, her ergonomic desk chair and the wall bracket that once held a wide-screen TV.  It would take them a long time to rebuild.

“We can stream Netflix tae our computers for now, but I reckon we need a sofa, so we’re no’ forced tae sit on the floor when we do so.”

“We could always watch in your bed,” she suggested before thinking it through.

Once again, Jamie’s aqua eyes burned.  She could feel herself flushing, but managed to not look away.

“Aye.  We could.  Tho’ I doubt we’d see sae much as the opening credits.  Dinna tempt me, Sassenach.”

He was almost pleading, and his intent suddenly became clear.  Whether by instinct or design, Jamie was trying to define a new normality for their lives together.  Grocery and furniture shopping were a shared endeavour, but there was still space for privacy and quiet.  Two sandwiches instead of one, but they both could decide whether to eat them together.  

Their ceremonies would be modest, and gain significance by their sheer number.  A dozen funerals for their solitude, and a thousand baptisms of love.

She reached across the table and clasped his hand.

“I saw the perfect sofa in a shop window the other day.  I’ll rinse these dishes, and then let’s walk over and see it.”

[brandywine-tomatoes]

Kyu Sakamoto - an excerpt

Literally just procrastination writing from yesterday. I created 2 badass lesbian ocs for the MCU (mainly Rogers, Barnes, and Wilson's stories) and now I have a 7-page outline...... been in the fandom for 3 days..... ANYWAYS

Masterlist

@icedcoffee101 and @dragon-pups pushed me to write this sad excerpt, so here you go everyone!

TW: sad/depressing thoughts, questioning existence for a hot second, honestly it's just really fucking depressing, but I love it nonetheless.

Word count: 1519

Prompt/Inso: my 7-page outline of badass lesbians that keep an eye on bucky when he's the winter soldier (this excerpt isn't about that tho)

QUICK NOTE: this is during the events of TFATWS, episode 5 I believe? And Grace is mute, so she uses sign language (tho she's only in the flashback). So yeah. Enjoy some sad angst!

--

“Well,” she picked up the leather bag from the chair, holding it up with a smirk. “I brought records.”

Bucky’s resting bitch face turned up into a small smile. The only person with a decent music taste thankfully brought records to Sam’s ‘let’s finally work on this fucking boat’ party with most of the neighbours and people owing favours. Everyone was milling around, fixing whatever they were assigned to fix and laughing in the cool bay breeze.

“I sure hope you have 60s stuff in that huge bag of yours,” he chuckled, walking past her up the dock to bring the record player from the shore. She held the heavy bag with one arm as she unzipped the zipper, an old and dusty smell escaping the inside and showing the spines of dozens of records.

“You pack all those just for us, Ash?” Sarah came up beside her, admiring all the casings.

“I found them stuffed in a closet back in Africa. I thought I’d revisit some old favourites,” she smiled at her.

Bucky and Sam came back down the dock with the record player in tow and an amp, talking with each other about god knows what. They set the gear down on a bench, plugging in the amp. The four of them dug into the bag, each of them taking out 2 or 3 records each to examine.

“Damn, you really like your slow songs, huh?” Sam spoke up, showing her the record covers in his hands were indeed black and white photos and words she didn’t understand.

She smiled brightly. “Yup! The 60s were the times of slow songs, the best ones.”

“I full-heartedly agree,” Bucky laughed. He slid a perfect disk out its paper cover and carefully placed it on the spindle, sliding over the needle to the first song ridge.

“I hope you picked something upbeat,” Sarah said.

The music flooded through the amp, the old-sounding and staticy bass vibrating through the deck and resonated in everyone’s hearts. People started taking their wives and husbands and kids to dance to the seemingly upbeat song.

Sasha just stared wide-eyed at the spinning disk, a long shoved down lump of unshed sobs pushing up her throat.

--

‘We don’t have anywhere else to go, we have the papers, and we have the rings,’ Grace signed quickly, pulling Sasha through the doorway gently and resting her hands on her waist, Sasha’s hands instinctively moving to behind her neck.

“All we need is a song, Graceless,” she smiled softly, mesmerized by her new wife’s radiating happiness and her beautiful smile that could seemingly never be darkened. The white curtains blew gently in front of the open window by their records, the moon's soft glow flooding the hardwood floors the only light they needed.

She nodded in return. Grace pulled away and walked to their stack of brand-new records, picking the one off the top and putting the needle of the travel-sized player on the first song.

‘We better thank him for his demos,’ Grace signed, then extended a hand to her wife. Sasha smiled so brightly as she took it.

“The neighbours will have a fit, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning,” Sasha whispered, putting her chin on Grace’s shoulder and started swaying slowly with one hand lightly holding Grace’s and another around her arm.

‘Doesn’t matter,’ Grace tapped on her shoulder in a familiar rhythm.

She sighed in contentment. Why couldn’t every day be like this, nothing to worry about other than what song to choose, no people to run after, no running from Hydra. Just the soft blowing of curtains and Kyu Sakamoto on their travel record player.

“If you say so, Ana.”

--

“Ash, you alright? You look like you’re about to cry,” Sarah laughed awkwardly and put a hand on Sasha’s shoulder, bringing her back from her wedding night. The others started to notice the reddening of her eyes and the shaking of her hands.

She walked away from the 3 of them, vaguely registering someone's failed attempt at reaching out to grab her wrist.

She couldn’t cry here, not in front of people she didn’t know and wouldn’t understand. She picked up the pace, the dammed river behind her eyes becoming unbearable to keep holding up. Soon enough she was running up the green hill leading to Sam’s house with no intention of stopping until she was with the love of her life again. Running might get her there, it might get her back in her arms, swaying softly to Kyu Sakamoto back in Africa.

She ran across the street of the empty house, bursting through the green forest and didn’t stop. The stray tears escaping her eyes were pushed past her face from the wind, clouding her eyesight.

--

“What was that?” Sarah asking, concern evident on her face.

Bucky sighed in realization of what he did. He dropped his face into his hands groaning. “Shit.”

“What-”

He started walking up the dock to make up for lost time. He shouted back to his friends, “It’s her god damn wedding song.”

“Oh shit,” Sam whispered. He didn’t know much about Sasha or her history, but he remembers her and her deceased wife, how much they loved each other. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what force would be able to pull them apart. They were both super-soldiers, they lived longer than Bucky or Steve had, they had more than half a century of camaraderie. She was off the grid for 7 years after her death. “Oh shit.”

“I didn’t know Sasha’s married,” Sarah tried to lighten the mood.

“It’s a long story.”

--

When Sasha finally collapsed in the dense forest, the light shining through the trees dimmed and turned the colour of the orange clouds above. Little streaks of light escaped the canopy and left little spots of highlighted roots or fallen leaves. Grace would try to step in every streak of light, sign that Sasha should help her find all the new tree sprouts and clear the leaves from around it to give it a fighting chance at survival.

She kneeled in the dirt beside an old and tall tree, the fabric of her jeans digging into the soft earth and the moisture seeping across her knees. The first sob she let go made her feel so weak and helpless, like a wounded puppy trying to fight its way off the streets. After that, she only thought of Grace coming up behind and hugging the life out of her, trying to make her feel as safe as possible. But she’d never feel the bone-crushing safety again, only the hollow and emptiness of her evaporated shadow.

She cried and sobbed and spread her tears around her face well into the darkness of night with only the moon to watch in pity. The sleeves of her white crew neck were dried with snot and dirt and pieces of bark from the tree she was leaning on. It was only a dent, a chip off the sorrow she felt, and it didn’t make her feel any better. Nothing would make her feel better.

Her legs were numb under her body, prickling like hundreds of needles were puncturing her skin. Her hands were rested in the dirt, fiddling with dried chucks as she stared out an open spot in the canopy. It was a clear night, a couple stars blinked back at her tired and puffy red eyes.

She was in the middle of thinking that sinking into the old tree supporting her side would solve her problems when the sound of leaves crunching beneath footsteps came closer and closer and eventually stopped just off to the side of her.

“I’m sorry, Sasha,” Bucky’s words were genuine. She stayed silent, grimacing at the change of sound. “I wasn’t thinking.”

She turned her head to look at him, a frown etched in his face as he took in the sight of how small she looked, how the whites of her eyes were clearly bloodshot, even visibly in the silver light.

“I hope you never find someone that makes you feel this way,” her voice was beyond strained and wavered at every word.

“Sasha-”

“Her real name was Anastasia, like the Grand Duchess. After Hydra tried to burn the warehouse down, we assumed other names,” she looked back to the canopy. “It meant resurrection.”

“Look-”

“I’m not coming back, James. This country has her blood smeared on its soil and I’ll never be able to forgive it.”

Bucky was surprised, to say the least. “We need you here, Sasha.”

She turned a cold and raging glare at him. “We helped you enough. We spent decades helping you. I’m done.”

She had a hard time using her numb legs to get up and the tree's roots around her didn’t help either. Bucky held out a hand for her to take. A last helping move before she left. He knew he wouldn't be able to talk her out of it.

She gripped his flesh hand tightly and hoisted herself up, steadying herself and shaking the blood back into her limbs. She nodded at his darkened face.

“Goodbye, James Barnes.”

--

A/N: WAS THAT SAD OR WHAT?! I teared up a couple times writing this, ngl. If y'all find this interesting, let me know! I need the motivation to write the real fic with Grace and Sasha alive, Sasha isn't always deep in a depressive state with Grace dead.

ANYWAYS! Go drink some water, go have a snack, take a break, you deserve it so much, I'm so proud of you for getting this far!! ❤️❤️

(The nickname 'Graceless' came from my friend Shae and her friend on Insta 💕💕)

[notdeadjack]

How do i take care od my shoes so they last?

CARING FOR YOUR SHOES 101

source: me. i'm a reparative cobbler. i literally do this for a living.ok so you have a pair of shoes of decent quality that fits (or crappy quality shoes that you wanna eek out every last bit of mileage out of in pure spite) and now you have to care for them like a doting parent, but how the fuck are you supposed to do that?? it's not as much of a production as most online how-to's makes it seem:

regular leather: if you're a dirty bitch or one of them people who likes running around in mud for no real reason, remove the excess dirt with a cloth or a soft brush. only use a little water as a last resort. if there's only regular dust and wear, just give them a quick wipe down with a cloth or something idk.apply a thin layer of cream shoe polish (Saphir creme surfine/deluxe is an excellent shoe polish and i highly recommend it. use incolore which has no colour pigments if you can't find the right shade, the shoes have multiple colours or a patina that you wanna keep or if they're brand spanking new and haven't lost any colour). allow it to dry in for like ten minutes before you polish with a cotton cloth (or an old t-shirt or a sock. it's not that important really).

suede/nubuck: remove dust and dirt gently with a suede brush (or one of them nail brushes), spray with waterproofing spray. done. use spray with colour pigments if they look sad and faded. 

do these simple steps as often as you can stand, but try to do it at the very least once a month, preferably every other week. you can never do it too often tbh.

more shoe care tips, materials and products underneath the cut!

other materials:  

spray textile with waterproofing spray. won't actually proof anything but will makes them easier to keep clean. 

syntethic materials won’t accept any help from no shoe care products and will crack or break whenever it damn well feel like it. you can put shoe polish on the fake leather tho, just to make them look nice.

patent leather and such won't absorb any products cause the leather is covered with a thin layer of plastic, but there's special products for keeping them clean and shiny. a moist cloth tends to leave spots bc mineral residues and stuff in the water. do NOT use sour milk or other dairy products on your patent leather

white rubber soles can be maintained by simply wiping them off with a moist cloth when you get home. if really dirty, wash or take to a cobbler to wash.

rubber boots can do with some grease or oil tbh. will help prevent them from drying out. 

oiled leather/nubuck tho. there's special products for these. check the labels but grease or oil spray usually does the trick.

but what about all the other stuff? like, the grease/fat/oil, the waterproofing, the washing and The Removal of The Laces™ that all the how-to's talk about?honestly, those things are often excessive and here's why:

washing: unless your shoes are actually dirty (partied too hard and spilled a drink or olive oil on them, large amounts of mud that can't be wiped off, water or salt stains etc), you don't have to wash them. water isn't good for the leather, dries it out so... only do it if you absolutely have to? preferably, take them to a professional and have them do it.

leather grease/fat/oil: honestly, this stuff IS good for the leather and you should use it. but there is such a thing as too much and y'all have no idea how many times i've had to wash a pair of shoes because the owner used too much too often and now there's clogging and fat and dust piled up at the seams like an abandoned butter factory and the shoes just look miserable. apply a thin layer and allow to dry before you apply shoe polish a few times a year. before and after putting your shoes into storage for the season, if they look and feel dry or if you wear them year round, put some on every other or third month. always BEFORE the polish.

waterproofing aka the thing every single shoe store employee tells you to do and it makes me wanna scream every time i hear it: only necessary for suede and nubuck shoes (and usable on textile, as mentioned above). seriously.  

a)waterproofing your shoes won't actually make them waterproof, will only help suede to repel the stray water droplet so that it doesn't soak in. won’t help when it’s pouring down.b) proper shoe polish contains wax (is what makes shine when polished) that will protect the leather from water in the same way. adding the spray on top of that is pointless.c) can actually ruin your polish work, make it all matte and occasionally even leave stains, discolour or trap dust.d) is sold as a “fix all” for lazy people to use on all of their shoes regardless of material. fixes nothing. don’t bother unless suede.

removing the laces before polishing: ??? you don't have to? you can work around them. i mean, if you're doing a full care with grease and stuff, it might be easier to remove them but that's up to you. you might get some polish on them but unless you have light or brightly coloured laces it doesn’t hurt them. do exchange them if they break tho. (if they break easily, there might be a sharp edge that rubs at them or, and this is the most likely, you don't unlace properly before forcing your feet into your shoes. the laces take a lot of stress, be nice to them!)

other shoe care products:

wax: such as Kiwi Parade Gloss, Saphir Mirror Gloss etc. a hard-ish bit of wax product that comes in a flat tin. is used to acquire high shine on leather shoes (think spit shine). doesn't actually do that much for the shoe except shine and repel some water. a must for dress shoes but should preferably only be used on the toe cap since it can build up in seams and, if applied the bits that moves a lot, can "crack". it's not damaging to the leather but looks scruffy af. apply with one of them tiny brushes you see in shoe care stores or with a sponge/cloth. polish with a cloth, lamb wool polish glove or a horse hair brush.

fisherman grease: are you a fisherman? no? then don't use it.

quick shine or self shine: do not. contains silicone and shit that won't be absorbed by the leather and won't dry. looks amazing when fresh but will attract dust and turn matte within minutes. shit product designed to appeal to your laziness and take your money while giving you a false sense of accomplishment. seriously, if you're good with the shoe polish, all you need is a a quick rub with a cloth (or the sleeve of your shirt, back of your pant leg) to revive the shine. yes i am a little bitter about the existence of quick shine products,

mink oil: mostly used by old people and hipsters who buy into the whole "the old way is the best way". i highly advice you not to. mink oil is too good at keeping the leather soft. can easily make your shoe leather yucky soft and floppy, the shoe loses shape and turn into a sad, sagging lump. can also discolour the leather (usually into an unsightly green). only use a little if the shoe is drier than the sahara desert.

leather balm/renovateur: technically not the same but has the same usage area. generally too light for shoes but is excellent for other leather goods like jackets, bags and gloves. used the same as shoe polish: apply thin layer, let dry, polish with cloth. redo as often as you can be arsed but at least once or twice a year i mean come on, give your favourite leather bag or jacket some love!

shoe trees: please? do use. preferably made out of cedar. can be expensive but will last you a life time. they will absorb the moisture from your shoes after wear and help them retain their shape (see those creases right at the bend behind your toes? yeah, those will always show up but shoe trees will help minimize them). you can get buy with just one pair, just stick them into which ever pair you wore last. it's highly recommended that you let your shoes dry completely and rest between each use. having two pairs of shoes that you alternate between is good enough.

if you're gonna store your shoes and can't afford buying shoe trees to all your pairs, you can just stuff them with paper or bits of a foam mattress or something, just to help them keep their shape. the ones that has a metal spring in the middle and a ball at the end should be used with caution and only for a day or so at the time, since the spring loaded ball (heh) puts constant pressure on the back piece of the shoe and can actually push it out which is bad and also ugly.oh! and if your knee high boots have zippers, do make sure that zipper is straight when not worn. use a boot tree, a rolled up news paper or a stick a plastic bottle in them. just so that they don’t fold over and put stress on the zipper.

shoe deodorizer: if your shoes are leather with a leather lining and leather inner sole (AND YOU WEAR SOCKS! seriously, please always wear socks or hose or something inside your shoes at all times. or your foot sweat, dead skin and dirt will build up inside your shoes and it is Gross™), they honestly won't smell much at all. deo is unnecessary (unless you have some kind of affliction which makes your foot sweat super powered, which some people actually have and i feel for them). synthetic and fabric shoes are satan when it comes to foot odour and all you can do really is make sure to wear clean socks and change the inner sole as often as possible.

the washing machine: PLEASE. DO NOT PUT YOUR SHOES IN THE WASHING MACHINE! no, not even your converse hi-tops. seriously. all shoes are glued more or less excessively, and the heat and water will make the glue unstick and your shoes will fall apart quicker. take them to a cobbler for a wash if they're really dirty.

and finally: inspect your shoes. if you spot a seam coming out, or the sole unsticking on the inner left or the heel piece is worn down: take them to a reparative cobbler asap. do NOT try to fix it yourself (you can actually make them ten times harder or even impossible to fix). most things that breaks on leather products can actually be fixed, but the longer you let it go without addressing the damage, the worse it will get and the more expensive it will be to fix. expect to spend about half the purchase price on maintaining your shoes at a cobbler. more if they're your favourites and fit like a dream. 

do try to find a good cobbler, some are absolute hacks that can ruin your shoes. if you live in a big city, go to the finer parts of town and accost a rich person and ask what cobbler shop they go to. they usually have a favourite cobbler that they remain loyal to/cling to desperately. instagram and/or facebook can also be a good place to check.

craftsmen in europe has journeyman or master "letters" (basically diplomas) that they can only acquire after they've worked in the profession for a certain amount of time and can prove that they're skilled in various parts of the job. you can ask if they have one and if they do, they're probably not completely unskilled.

rule of thumb is if the cobbler also does dry cleaning, seamstress work, plumbing and a hundred other vaguely connected things, chance is high that they aren't as good. this is largely dependent on country tho so... use your common sense.

also, don't bother with chains (such as mr minit) and those that offer quick jobs. doing a job properly takes time and care. rushing generally leads to lower quality work, as with everything. it’s up to you tho.

aaand i think that's about it!

i'll post a guide on how to buy good quality shoes that fit later, but until then, if you have any further questions, or want specific shoe or leather care advice my ask is always open and i'm happy to help :D

[somethingheresomethingthere]

Skincare Journey

March 20, 2020

I’ve decided to start documenting the things I try because actually what the hell is going on with my face. 

I didn’t have this much acne when I was at my peak of puberty, and there’s nothing in my life to explain it. No change in diet, water consumption, birth control, stress or routine. For a few years, I was using Rodan + Fields Unblemish. My skin was generally clear, but I often had dry skin, a breakout here and there, and was unsatisfied with how many harsh chemicals are in the product.

Cleanser

March 20, 2020

Figuring I had generally good skin, should switch to a product that didn’t directly target acne, and wouldn’t be as harsh, I switched to Rodan + Fields Reverse. I used Reverse for about three months before the breakouts came. The product felt way to harsh, and I was swinging between oily and dry skin. Always looking irritated after wash. I realize now, this was dumb cause it is extra harsh, aimed at combatting aging skin. I just went with it, because that’s what my mom uses. Should have tried Redefine if I was going to stay in the Rodan + Fields family.  

I am going for a natural, more hands-off wash. Amber recommends only washing your face at night, but I still want some kind of refresher in the morning. I maintain that moisture must be important-right? Per Ashlin’s recommendation, I ordered Philosophy’s Purity Made Simple One-Step Facial Cleanser; I will only cleanse at night or after a workout. 

April 1, 2020

Started Philosophy’s Purity Made Simple One-Step Facial Cleanser about a week ago and things are starting to clear up. Focusing on washing more intentionally. 

April 6, 2020

Okay, so I know it’s only been two weeks, but things are looking bad. Went online to find some dermatologist solutions. 

Sulfur is good in cleansers because its anti-inflamatory and targets acne, but is sensitive. Unblemish and Purity both have sulfur as a main ingredient, so this is good. 

April 13, 2020

Actually read up on Purity and learned it contains parabans, sulfates, and other irritating ingredients. Parabens are preservatives associated with cancer that are banned in the EU. Sulfates are cleaning agents that are too strong for the human body because they strip away natural oils.

Ordered Derma E Vitamin C Brightening Gentle Daily Cleansing Paste and it should be here next week. Should help with a more thorough evening cleanse.

May 8, 2020

Started Derma E Vitamin C Cleansing Paste.

Recommendations

Pure One-Step Camellia Cleansing Oil from Tatcha. Cleansing Oil helps to remove makeup and other oils. Should use gel cleanser after oil cleanser.

Toner

March 20, 2020

I’ve used witch hazel before as a quick cleanse or refresher in temporary place of a cleanse, but I found it dries my skin and could do without the fragrance for the clean score. 

Per recommendation and curiosity, I ordered Garnier Micellar Water for morning and post-cleansing use to get all makeup/dirt really out.

April 6, 2020

Dermatologist research confirms micellar water is a good. Gentle exfoliant, also takes off remaining makeup. Don’t need to moisturize after micellar if freshening up after workout.

April 13, 2020

Bought fragrance free witch hazel today. It has additional soothing properties over micellar. 

Recomendations

Derma E Micellar Cleansing Water with Vitmain C 

Moisturizer

March 20, 2020

I am using Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream right now, and I feel like it almost over-moisturizes. I’ve used Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Oil-Free Gel-Cream before and liked it better, but no better than the cheaper Neutrogena version. 

I’m also going back to Neutrogena’s Hydro Boost Moisturizer, to be used morning and night. 

April 1, 2020

Been using Neutrogena’s Hydro Boost Moisturizer for about a week and feels much cleaner. Rebuy would switch to extra SPF with Neutrogena Hydro Boost with SPF. Might need more hydration at night tho.

April 6, 2020

Dermatologist research confirms light, water and gel based moisturizer good, but needs to be a sunscreen.

May 13, 2020

Started using CeraVe Moisturizing Cream. It’s a decent price, non-comedogenic, and fragrance free. It is light and water based. More moisturizing then Neutrogena.

Sunscreen

March 20, 2020

The R+F sunscreen was way too thick and oily to be daily. 

April 13, 2020

Neutrogena water gel with SPF 50 came today. I thought it was same thing I’ve been using but with SPF, but it’s more of a cream then a gel. Light enough and I’m liking it so far.

Recommendations:

Tatcha’s sunscreen as a moisturizer. 

Acne Treatment

March 20, 2020

Proactiv’s Refining Mask as a spot treatment is really helping - and yes, it does smell like middle school. 

April 6, 2020

Dermatologist research says to use Benzoyl peroxide to treat white-heads and hormonal acne. This is in the step three of Unblemish, so that’s probably what my skin is missing. Hoping my Curology I ordered today will have some in it. Known to stain clothing. Use over entire affected area not just the pimple. Salicylic acid is an alternative that is less harsh. 

The proactive refining mask is a sulfur treatment, like the cleansers. maybe I need a stronger spot treatment?

April 13, 2020

Started Curology today. My formula is 1% Clindamycin 4% Azelaic Acid and .25% Zinc Pyrithione. 

I’m supposed to stop using these ingredients while my skin adjusts to Curology: Benzoyl Peroxide, Salicylic Acid, AHA (e.g., glycolic acid, lactic acid), Topical Vitamin C, and Retinol - so basically everything that’s supposed to help? I’m guessing the recommendation is to not overload during transition. 

May 3, 2020

Curology is working okay. The hormonal breakouts aren’t nearly as angry. I’m not wowed by the results tho. I plan to keep using and work on my other products before I give up.

June 3, 2020

Switched my birth control back. Started Skinfood Peach Sake Pore Serum.

Recommendations

Serums for acne should include Retinol, Vitamin C, Zinc, and/or Salicylic Acid.

Always moisturize after serums.

Texture may be a result of lack of exfoliation.

The Ordinary Niacinamid 10% + Zinc 1% Serum for Acne

Pixi Overnight Glow Serum for overnight exfoliation

Naturally G4U Beauty Has No Age - Retinol Anti-Wrinkle Serum

111Skin 3 Phase Anti Blemish Booster

Caudalie Vinopure Skin Perfecting Serum

Bioderma Sebium Pore Refiner

TOTAL

$13.95 Derma E Vitamin C Brightening Gentle Daily Cleansing Paste

$4.69 Dickinson's Original Witch Hazel Pore Perfecting Toner

$16 Skinfood Peach Sake Pore Serum

$19.95 Curology

$13.49 CeraVe Moisturizing Cream

$24 Clear Proof® Deep-Cleansing Charcoal Mask

$65 Tatcha Rice Polish: Deep Foaming Enzyme Powder

[freckle-trash]

Daily, weekly, monthly checklists:

This is what I intend to look at for my check lists with the reasoning behind certain ones. If you would like to try to follow this schedule you can but I would greatly suggest also tailoring it to your specific needs. Like certain things like getting dressed is no issue for me but may be extremely difficult for you. That is something you should put on your daily check list. Tbh

DAILY CHECK LIST:

Morning check:

- WAKE UP ON TIME (5:30 weekdays, 9am weekends)

- brush teeth

- Use mouth wash

- WASH UR FACE B

- moisturize face

- Combed hair (trust me)

- Eat breakfast

- Drink a cup of water or Gatorade (try not to drink coffee until after drinking one of those)

- Take ur fucking pills you literally cannot afford to miss them. Even if u think “oh one day won’t hurt me” yes it fucking will. Take them.

- Bruh take the dishes down out of your room, that shit gonna smell rank if u leave it in there

Afternoon check:

- eat lunch for once, try to by 12:30 so you stop getting in trouble at work for not taking a break

- Drink another glass of water before drinking anything else

- Wash your hands thoroughly after eating, it’s strange but will make u feel better

Nighttime check:

- drink glass of water once ur home from work

- EAT DINNER (preferable by 6:30)

- Drink glass of water after

- Pick up any clothes off of the ground of ur room and put it in the hamper. You have such a bad habit of throwing it straight on the floor after work and it piles up if you don’t keep up with it.

- Take a shower/bath (only wash ur hair every other day tho)

- BRUSH YO TEETH AGAIN

- Put your hair up in braids, you’ll be thankful when you don’t have to fight your knotted hair in the morning again

- Grab one last glass of water or get an insulated bottle of water, drink half of it and then keep that beside your bed at night so you can have it if u wake up

- Light a candle, meditate, yoga, breathing exercises in a quiet area. Learn to decompress before bed and let the stress flow out.

- Go to bed at a decent time, try to shoot between 9:30 and 11:30 instead of going to sleep at 2am like usually

WEEKLY CHECK LIST:

- washed the bed sheets and comforter. (I HIGHLY recommend getting the arm and hammer sensitive detergent and then finding a fabric softener of your choice that is your favorite smell. Having your bed smell good and be clean on a weekly basis will improve your mood greatly)

- Do the dishes. Probably needs to be done daily if u live with more than one person but if it’s just u you could possible just do it weekly as long as u rinse out your dishes daily.

- Get your clothes clean, folded, and put away. Don’t let those clothes just sit in the dryer or get put right onto the chair instead of going up.

- Vacuum. If u she’d like me constantly having your hair everywhere pisses u off and the scent of anything smelly stays in carpet. Just do yourself the favor and vacuum.

- Pick one room to deep clean for an hour. An hour of good work gets that serotonin going while also allowing you to feel like you accomplished a lot. (i say set an hour timer because after an hour if you still don’t feel well you can stop but if you feel better you can chose to continue for yourself.)

- Go out and do something with friends or by yourself for at least 30 minutes. Go to a library, go to a park and just walk or run around, see if your towns rec center is holding an event or class that you can go to, take your dog to the dog park, go out for food with friends, see a movie, just take a drive around the scenic part of town, visit a museum, volunteer somewhere, go pick up liter on a beach or at a children’s park. Do something that will get you out of the house and give you some excitement. It will give you that social interaction that human beings need while also making you feel like you are giving back to yourself or others. One thing I did in high school was volunteer to read to the youth group at the public library for fun, helps the community and helps you.

- Make sure u pooped? You should poop at least once a day but if you haven’t pooped all week that’s not good and can actually be a very strong contributing factor to you feeling bad. I had to start taking magnesium and fiber pills on doctors orders because of this exact problem since I’d get so backed up I’d feel like I had the flu. Trust me when I say making sure you’re pooping on a regular basis is a huge help to yourself.

- Do a face mask. Trust me.

MONTHLY CHECK LIST:

- has your washer or dryer been cleaned out lately? Have u cleaned out your fridge? Is your coffee machine clean? Have you checked on a friend or family member in a while that you may not talk to so much? Have u read a book? Seen anything new? Had a new experience? This is a good time to set a monthly day to figure out and do all these things tbh.

[tbhstudying1]

can you review the glossier products you have? i bought the cleanser and balm dotcom a while back and i really like them + looking for some new products to try next !!

oh boy oh boy!! do i have WORDS !!!!!!! im EXCITE okay okay here we go!!!

i’m putting it under a cut since it’s kinda long ;; so sorry to mobile users who have to see this entire ESSAY i have on glossier (ok it’s not rly an essay but it’s still long aaa) + hope this helps :”)

my skin type: dry, sensitive (like,,, Super Sensitive)

also a disclaimer: glossier sent me some products for a pr thing but then ?? they went radio silent on me so idk if i was supposed to promote them or not, so i didn’t. anyhow!! these are still 100% my honest opinions. now, to talk about every glossier product i own:

milky jelly cleanser: love this binch, hella nice, hella smooth, leaves my skin feeling conditioned and soft which i’ve only experienced with one other cleanser (cetaphil)

balm dot com: i have it in rose, birthday, mint, and coconut, and listen!! i love every one!! i hate coconut stuff but i still like this one!! applicable to nearly any dry spot on the skin, soothes my chapped lips, cute packaging, good scent, love it (chef kiss, mwah)

boy brow in black: heLLO my LOVE !! listen, i’ve got pretty dark brows but this baby ELEVATES my brows to a godly level. it’s a gel that helps me smooth my brow hairs into place and i can comb them down a lil bit with the little spoolie brush thing. however, bc my brows are so dark already, i have to make sure to not use too much product ;; 

priming moisturizer: eh, this isn’t anything special. it doesn’t have spf and it’s pretty thin ? i use it for makeup primer bc it is decently okay-ish at that. it’s also unscented which is good. maybe it’s just me and my dumb habit of squishing make-up tubes real hard, but i find it hard to control the amount of product that comes out. would i buy again? nah.

priming moisturizer rich: well, it’s definitely thicker and more moisturizing than the regular one. however, it’s scented and heavier, so i’m rly scared to put it on my sensitive face ;; it’s also in a tub and idk how sanitary that is. i’ve been using it as a hand cream though, and my hands are super soft :) 

glossier solution: hands down the most disappointing purchase i’ve ever made at glossier. it didn’t work, and it felt like it didn’t rly suit my skin type. i didn’t rly notice any changes other than the fact that it kinda ??? dried out my skin even more? maybe folks with oily skin might prefer this more, but idk,,,,,, i have more than 80% of the bottle and idk what to do with it. 

skin tint in medium: it’s. sheer. like, rly sheer. i like it bc it evens out my skin’s redness which is a major issue that i have with it, but i honestly don’t think that it’s worth the money or the effort. even ppl who want sheer coverage might wanna look at a different bb cream than this.

stretch concealer in medium: i rly like this one! it’s smooth and creamy and easily blends it. i just dab it on my dark circles, set with powder, and then sprint off to wherever i have to go. idk how it compares to other concealers though bc i just haven’t used that many ;;

cloud paint in beam: im…. just…. not…. a blush girl….. idk, maybe it’s my constant skin redness, but im never satisfied with the way blush looks on my face. bc of that, i just haven’t experimented or used enough of this blush to rly have a solid opinion on it. it’s hard to control product portioning though ;; a little bit goes a long way, but a large glob always pops out :(

lash slick: i was surprised to see that this mascara rly works in making your lashes longer!! it also comes off more easily than other mascaras. however, it’s a very natural look and it doesn’t rly give your lashes more volume compared to others. i still rly like it tho + when i wanna give my lashes some more OOMPH, i combine it with one of maybelline’s volume mascaras to give them both length and volume. (such a pain to take off though…… i hate taking off mascara)

glossier you: i received this as a sample tube, but it’s rly quite nice! i enjoy the smell and at first, it has this warm scent, but after it stays on for a while and/or if i start to sweat, it turns into this amazing vanilla scent. i’d like to buy more, but i cannot afford the $60 perfume :( i might get the travel solid version tho

things i would like to get but haven’t tried yet: glossier you travel solid perfume, lip gloss, masks, haloscope, wowder

things i’m not interested in: serums, lidstar, body hero, other shades of cloud paint

from for the dreams i want to catch https://ift.tt/2nLUAuM See More

[tbhstudying]

can you review the glossier products you have? i bought the cleanser and balm dotcom a while back and i really like them + looking for some new products to try next !!

oh boy oh boy!! do i have WORDS !!!!!!! im EXCITE okay okay here we go!!!

i’m putting it under a cut since it’s kinda long ;; so sorry to mobile users who have to see this entire ESSAY i have on glossier (ok it’s not rly an essay but it’s still long aaa) + hope this helps :”)

my skin type: dry, sensitive (like,,, Super Sensitive)

also a disclaimer: glossier sent me some products for a pr thing but then ?? they went radio silent on me so idk if i was supposed to promote them or not, so i didn’t. anyhow!! these are still 100% my honest opinions. now, to talk about every glossier product i own:

milky jelly cleanser: love this binch, hella nice, hella smooth, leaves my skin feeling conditioned and soft which i’ve only experienced with one other cleanser (cetaphil)

balm dot com: i have it in rose, birthday, mint, and coconut, and listen!! i love every one!! i hate coconut stuff but i still like this one!! applicable to nearly any dry spot on the skin, soothes my chapped lips, cute packaging, good scent, love it (chef kiss, mwah)

boy brow in black: heLLO my LOVE !! listen, i’ve got pretty dark brows but this baby ELEVATES my brows to a godly level. it’s a gel that helps me smooth my brow hairs into place and i can comb them down a lil bit with the little spoolie brush thing. however, bc my brows are so dark already, i have to make sure to not use too much product ;; 

priming moisturizer: eh, this isn’t anything special. it doesn’t have spf and it’s pretty thin ? i use it for makeup primer bc it is decently okay-ish at that. it’s also unscented which is good. maybe it’s just me and my dumb habit of squishing make-up tubes real hard, but i find it hard to control the amount of product that comes out. would i buy again? nah.

priming moisturizer rich: well, it’s definitely thicker and more moisturizing than the regular one. however, it’s scented and heavier, so i’m rly scared to put it on my sensitive face ;; it’s also in a tub and idk how sanitary that is. i’ve been using it as a hand cream though, and my hands are super soft :) 

glossier solution: hands down the most disappointing purchase i’ve ever made at glossier. it didn’t work, and it felt like it didn’t rly suit my skin type. i didn’t rly notice any changes other than the fact that it kinda ??? dried out my skin even more? maybe folks with oily skin might prefer this more, but idk,,,,,, i have more than 80% of the bottle and idk what to do with it. 

skin tint in medium: it’s. sheer. like, rly sheer. i like it bc it evens out my skin’s redness which is a major issue that i have with it, but i honestly don’t think that it’s worth the money or the effort. even ppl who want sheer coverage might wanna look at a different bb cream than this.

stretch concealer in medium: i rly like this one! it’s smooth and creamy and easily blends it. i just dab it on my dark circles, set with powder, and then sprint off to wherever i have to go. idk how it compares to other concealers though bc i just haven’t used that many ;;

cloud paint in beam: im.... just.... not.... a blush girl..... idk, maybe it’s my constant skin redness, but im never satisfied with the way blush looks on my face. bc of that, i just haven’t experimented or used enough of this blush to rly have a solid opinion on it. it’s hard to control product portioning though ;; a little bit goes a long way, but a large glob always pops out :(

lash slick: i was surprised to see that this mascara rly works in making your lashes longer!! it also comes off more easily than other mascaras. however, it’s a very natural look and it doesn’t rly give your lashes more volume compared to others. i still rly like it tho + when i wanna give my lashes some more OOMPH, i combine it with one of maybelline’s volume mascaras to give them both length and volume. (such a pain to take off though...... i hate taking off mascara)

glossier you: i received this as a sample tube, but it’s rly quite nice! i enjoy the smell and at first, it has this warm scent, but after it stays on for a while and/or if i start to sweat, it turns into this amazing vanilla scent. i’d like to buy more, but i cannot afford the $60 perfume :( i might get the travel solid version tho

things i would like to get but haven’t tried yet: glossier you travel solid perfume, lip gloss, masks, haloscope, wowder

things i’m not interested in: serums, lidstar, body hero, other shades of cloud paint