#it keeps coming more frequently and with more difficulty

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

they say that sticking past the urges, rather than giving in, will eventually make them go away or improve, so why do they keep getting worse

[oblique-lane]

Spy tf2 and his identity

Character analysis (or at least my vision on him, if you believe my reasoning)

What do we know about Spy? He's a disguise mastermind. He can pretend to be anyone in order to infiltrate into the scene to do his job - quite literally, stab people on the back. But when he's not in the battle, what is he to his teammates? A suave Frenchman, a gentleman with taste, somewhat a leader.

At least, that's the persona he prefers to show. But is he really..?

What if I tell you that this person never drops his disguise?

For a man who always wears a mask and who's identity being secret is a sacred part of his role in this job, isn't this persona too much to show if it is real? Frenchman, rich, ladykiller... Wouldn't it be too easy to decipher his identity with so much clues provided? Wouldn't it be dangerous?

While Miss Pauling and the Administrator definitely know Spy's real identity, hiding it is a major thing for whatever reason. One could assume it might be because of Scout (obvious guess) but I doubt he's a sole reason. Spy very much enjoys being the Spy all by himself. Do what's the deal?

Let's start from the beginning.

Why did Spy join Mann Co. in the first place?

Let's take this assumption as a fact: people come here out of desperation. They are professionals in their field, yet in their past/casual life there is a pattern of them having difficulties that push them into joining this service. I don't see why Spy would be an exception.

The reason for joining is usually money. Some people question why Spy, a wealthy man from higher society, would join Mann Co. if he has it all already.

Well, probably because he really does not.

Have you ever met an aristocrat? Wealthy people don't get so protective about their expensive suits, they can afford cleaning or a new one. Regardless, rich people don't usually get stingy about material goods, especially if they're mass produced.

At least, not those who were born into wealth.

Spy's defensiveness about his "wealthy stuff", his pomp-ness, disgust and arrogance towards "plebs" gives off a man who knows what it means to live in poverty and who doesn't want to be associated with it ever again.

(Not even talking about his own filthy habits such as not washing his mask and pissing on walls? Jesus Christ)

Dare I even guess that he might be not French at all? His French is so broken. (Although, so is Medic's German, but at least he uses his language much more frequently and in more complex sentences, while Spy only uses French to say some basic expressions, occasionally confusing them with other languages). Definitely not a native.

If anything, he's not giving "rich man" at all, he's giving con man. And that fits my picture perfectly.

So, poor upbringing. How old is Spy? If he's Scout's father (and he was young when he was conceived), I'd say he's no less than 20 years older than him. I'd give him a few more years actually. So, approximately Spy is around 50 at the events of the game (1968-1972). Let's assume he was born somewhere in the 1910s.

Even if he's not French, I still agree that he's probably European. Hmm, what was happening in Europe at the time Spy was a kid?

Oh yeah. The Great Depression.

See my picture: imagine, a child from a lower class family during the Great Depression, his parents were most likely to not take good care about him (both because of the economical situation AND as an echo to Spy's struggles with his own fatherhood). He has to run away from home early and start to make money. Any way possible.

Unavoidably, it leads to crime.

Petty theft, blackmail, scams. Changing identities. Selling low quality products and services. Changing identities again. When older, seducing rich women to stay at their homes overnight, be fed and supported. Running away from the police. Walking into a trap of the mafia, and then joining them as their goon.

In this nightmare of a life he just had to keep pretending to be someone else, someone better and stronger, in order to his ego to not completely shutter. He had to imagine he was an invincible mastermind trickster of some sort, not just a poor boo-hoo victim of poverty who has never knew normal life and care.

And if you pretend for long enough, you become your role eventually... Right?

His true self was long lost forgotten under many layers of new identities. Worse, his true self was never known. And he didn't want it to be known in its ugly and disgusting vulnerability. Narcissism became his lifeline.

It's so much better to be Spy. To be rich and elegant and respected. His ego rebuilt.

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

🤫🤔🫢🫦🧠🗣️ Your Communication Issues Based on Your Rising Sign 🤫🤔🫢🫦🧠🗣️

Disclaimer: If it don’t apply, let it fly ☺️😌

Aries Rising:

* Speaking aggressively even when calm.

* Noticeable anxiety when they speak ( voice getting louder, shaky voice, stuttering, mumbling).

* Struggle to listen as their minds are fired up.

* Changing their opinion frequently and playing devils advocate.

* Easily able to manipulate others, watch out for their convincing ways especially when they want something.

* Can come across as judgmental and can make people uncomfortable with this aspect.

Taurus Rising:

* Can be hard to know how they truly feel, they can play off just how emotional they are, closed off.

* Reserved and private, hard to get these people to open up.

* They can tell people what they want to hear, instead of choosing to be honest.

* They can retreat into their own world especially to deal with their emotions, hard to reach.

* If they feel a certain way towards someone they can be stubborn, defensive, and take things personally.

* Can hold a lot of their real feelings in.

Gemini Rising:

* Needs an audience or some form of validation to be talkative and social or they will be quiet.

* A lot of pride over their opinions and perspective.

* They can dish it, but they cannot take it.

* Can struggle to allow others to shine, they want to be the brains, beauty, and more.

* Selectively choosing to engage with those who give their ego a boost.

* Saying things just so people can like them.

* Telling lies.

Cancer Rising:

* Categorizing people into boxes before getting to know them.

* Indirect communication style. ( skimming around topics, avoiding certain conversations, not allowing anyone in, passive aggressive).

* Not being authentic in their communication, saying what they believe the other wants to hear.

* Can become detached and emotionally distant when sorting through their own issues.

* Difficulty expressing their feelings, but can be a therapist for other people.

* Criticizing the way they speak too much, over analyzing their communication.

* Can be a complainer.

Leo Rising:

* Perfectionist about your social image.

* Feeling a sense of importance amongst others that can come off as a superiority complex.

* Easily see the flaws of others, but can have a hard time being forthright and transparent about their flaws.

* Always trying to make everyone happy and feel good, but struggling with their own insecurities.

* Being superficial and caring about outward appearance too much, constant criticizing people’s appearance.

* Have a big ego and feel slighted and personally offended fast.

* Wants to be popular so will people please to fit in with the in crowd.

* Can be avoidant or disappear when issues come up.

* Can gossip about people behind their back.

Virgo Rising:

* Can be detached due to their introspective and analytical nature.

* Withdraw a lot and need a lot of time to themselves to process their experiences.

* Intensely introverted and retreats a lot into their own world.

* Going through extremes of isolated and constantly socializing and talking.

* Either dead silent or chatter box’s.

* Scrutinizing themselves too much so others feel awkward around them.

* If not scrutinizing around others, mentally doing it in a conversation and then feeling the need to be quiet.

* Psychoanalyzing and probing others but get uncomfortable when people do this to them.

* Speaking intensely.

Libra Rising:

* There is an excessive need to appear positive, bordering toxic positivity.

* Head in the clouds

* A tendency to overpromise or overextend theirselves to others.

* An issue with instilling boundaries.

* Do things just to keep the peace.

* Will run away at the sight of any issue or problems.

* Friends with people they outgrew but just keep thinking things will get better.

* Can be naive in conversations.

Scorpio Rising:

* Negative, pessimistic, cynical mindset which can often undermine their communication.

* Chronic complainers.

* Feels restricted in speaking freely. Feels they need to speak when spoken to or with people they are close to.

* Reserved and timid.

* Can have a mindset that nothing matters so can a bit dry responding to people’s issues.

* Or may take on other people’s issues as their own and act like a therapist.

* They can probe and psychoanalyze others but keep a lot of their personality and business hidden.

* Need to have control when communicating with others. Control and power dynamics are apparent in their communication.

* May feel more mature than others, so constantly feeling they have to dumb theirselves down or parent others.

* Can be grammar and pronunciation police.

* Judgmental of how people present themselves. May think everyone should be like them.

* Usually ends up trauma bonding or attracting people who vent a lot of their emotions on them.

Sagittarius Rising:

* Has big ideas that often are not yet accepted or people deem crazy, unrealistic, or wishful.

* Want others to join along their ideas, and may deal with pushback from more conservative individuals.

* Interrupts mid conversation cause they have something they have to just get out.

* Doesn’t listen well when people talk to them about things that aren’t interesting.

* Challenges others beliefs which can come off as personal attacks.

* Detached and insensitive when engrossed in a new idea, project, or interests.

* Unpredictable communication.

* Can have random outbursts or random moments where they are super happy and social.

* High energy which can be overwhelming to some. Talks a lot and then distant.

Capricorn Rising:

* Feeling restricted in communication. Wanting to express themselves freely but feeling that they have to control a lot of what they say.

* A sensitive soul with a hard exterior.

* Finding that people project a lot onto them.

* Feeling you they cant be themselves , so choosing to stay silent.

* Being deceitful or lying.

* Having to hold in a secret that weighs heavy on them.

* Needing someone to stimulate a conversation with them or else they don’t know what to say.

* Unclear on how to assert themselves. May come off passive aggressive.

* Off into their own world, withdrawn from the world.

Aquarius Rising:

* Can come across as less emotional and detached. Can say things bluntly and outright that shock or upset others.

* If someone isn’t being forthright and honest you can become irritated easily.

* Needing space to do their own thing. Can feel smothered by too much interaction.

* Unexpected communication. They might go weeks without talking to someone and then call them.

* On the other hand they can attract abrupt personalities where communication is spontaneous.

* Controversial opinions.

* Some of the ways they talk can be strange or odd.

* Females might carry a masculine theme to them that can intimidate others.

Pisces Rising:

* Withdrawn and uncommunicative.

* These people are sensitive and will retreat if they sense an issue or conflict.

* These people struggle to initiate conversation.

* Stubborn towards other people’s ideas.

* Can lie and fabricate things.

* Masters at deflecting and gaslighting.

* Can rationalize their feelings or at times make it seem their feelings are insignificant. They can also do this others.

* Rose colored glasses and can come across as delusional.

* May refuse to take any criticism.

[lunaa007]

Astrology observations #3

These are my personal observations and should be taken in the context of the whole chart, never isolated 😊

Some of this is 18+, no minors allowed

♦️Mars-Uranus aspects can indicate a liking for risky activities and extreme sports, like motorcycling or base jumping. They can even like to put themselves in danger as they need the adrenaline. Routine is super boring for them, they need to try new things very often. They should be careful to release this nervous energy with sports, work they're passionate about or things like that or it can backfire. This aspect can be tempered down with Saturn aspects or a lot of earth energy in the chart.

♦️Venus square mars aspect: can often be mean to the person they like, classic "if he pulled your hair it's because he likes you" stuff. Can be very passionate, might have difficulty to separate feelings from lust. They might have talent for artistic sports like dancing or ice skating. For women, they might like a more sporty fashion style.

♦️Sun-saturn aspects: especially for harsh ones, this can really change the expression of the sun sign. I know someone with sun and several planets in Leo, but they are all square to Saturn and you could never tell she's a Leo; she is very reserved, shy and restrained in life. But as with all Saturn aspects this can change with age, the personality coming through more and more while keeping an amazing sense of discipline, wisdom and grounding.

♦️Moon-uranus aspects: with harsh aspects (conjunction, square, opposition), the mother might have been emotionally cold during the childhood, and she might have been a bit erratic and unpredictable. This could have showed up as frequently moving places, or having a mother considered weird or crazy by society. With soft aspects like trine or sextile this could show up as an untraditional family, maybe having two fathers or two mothers, or parents very into technology, but this was not hard on the person and it helped them develop their individuality and independence.

♦️Taurus mercury: these people can learn much slower than other people (this does not mean they are not as intelligent, their rhythm is just different). At school they might have felt behind their schoolmates or felt like they didn't have enough time to finish their exams/homework. It is important that they don't feel bad about this and take the time they need to do their work. This might be less strong with Uranus influence on mercury. ♦️ Aquarius moon natals and their need to always read and watch self-development content without ever actually feeling their feelings 🙃

♦️ Venus conjunct moon: these people are so kind, they have such a big heart and do not wish harm on anyone, please stay mindful of who has access to you as many people might want to be in contact with this energy but sometimes also energy vampires.

♦️ Mercury conjunct/square pluto and their dark humor! I have this in my chart and one of my colleagues actually said to me three days after she started: "your jokes can be really dark sometimes" 😂 it gets worse when I'm tired as I don't filter my jokes so much before saying them. These aspects might also think a lot about death and dark themes, they can be the type to think "what happens if I die tomorrow", or "I could die if I do this" but not in a worried way, just thinking rationally about what is possible.

♦️ Leo mars women and their secret backup plan of becoming a stripper or an exotic dancer 💃 these women often have a talent for dancing, and performing can make them feel desired and confident.

♦️ Aries moon/mars placements and their road rage! Both my parents have these placements and my god the number of stressful rides to school I had when I was a child 😂 this can also apply to the other fire mars.

♦️ Lilith conjunct ascendant: these people often provoke reactions everywhere they go, they rarely go unnoticed whether it is positive reactions or negative. The women with this aspect might get sexualised a lot, and the men with this aspect might attract animosity from other men. ♦️ Sun-jupiter and moon-jupiter aspects: they might always see the bright side of things, "it will get better", "this is temporary", seeing the glass half-full. A lot of optimism, faith in a higher meaning, maybe too optimistic sometimes and too trusting that things will unfold in the right way.

♦️Mars square pluto women often attract creepy men on the street, interactions with aggressive men might be unfortunately common. It is important to not repress their anger and channel their power in something like martial arts.

♦️Gemini moon/IC: they might love to talk with their loved ones at home, a lot of communication and learning in their private life. If they live alone they might be a lot on the phone or always have music or tv or radio on.

♦️Mercury square saturn: they might doubt their intellectual abilities when young, their learning style might not fit the classic school system. It is important that they are encouraged by their family, and with time they will gain confidence and master the learning techniques that fit them best.

♦️Mars in virgo might care too much about pleasing their partner in bed and have a hard time receiving pleasure without giving anything. They might also feel self-conscious if they do not feel "clean" like not fresh out of the shower. It is important for them to practice letting go of their thoughts and doubts and be present in their body. They deserve pleasure as much as everybody else!

♦️ Jupiter in the 2nd house might have a very good self-esteem, if the moon and venus are not too afflicted. And if it is the case it helps the native deal with the harder aspects.

♦️ That's why it is so dangerous to interpret an  aspect in isolation of the rest of the chart, a challenging aspect might be very beneficial in a chart and less in another one. For instance moon conjunct saturn might be more challenging for a Capricorn moon which is already quite controled and closed off, but in the sign of Aries it might help the native tame their impulsivity and control better their emotions. 

♦️ Or moon square Uranus might be beneficial for a Capricorn moon or a Taurus moon as it might help them break out of their routine and become more adaptable and flexible to change.

Thank you for reading!

@lunaa007

[moonsaver]

The Care Package II

Got your first, shiny new gacha character you were working oh-so-hard to get? That's great! Don't know how to care for it? No worries! This guide will have you covered!

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Summary: not doing this, its in part 1 here, this post has Aventurine and Sunday. The previous one has Dr. Ratio and Argenti. Have fun reading !

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The Gem-Deluxe Package

You receive a lavishly decorated box at your mail! It is covered in jewels and black ribbon, and similarly to the Red Rose Package, users may experience difficulty in unboxing Aventurine from his gift box. Please watch this tutorial in case you are unable to do so aswell.

The gift box is lined with a soft material, and several, smaller layers that act as a makeshift bed for your sleeping Aventurine. Please let your Aventurine wake up on his own accord, or you may halt his growth process from Beginner to Intermediate by communicating urgency if you wake him up too soon. When Aventurine wakes up, he will make his presence known very well, and he will naturally call out to you regardless of wherever you are and whatever you are doing.

Aventurine comes with a unique combination of accessories that are specific to each model – thus a specific user manual is provided for each of his items. You may receive either one of the following SSR items; Gold Coin [I], Pack of gold Cards [I], Small Aventurine Stone [II], Teal Peacock Earring [I]. Please note you may only be able to request another copy with your specific user manual when you open the package - if you are unable to find it, search Aventurine's pillow or ask him about it. Some users express their delight at Aventurine's tricks of hiding certain things, but it is advisable to warn him of certain valuable items before he hides them to entertain his user.

Aventurine may seem as though he does not mind being picked up in any way, however, he wishes to be held with great care. Please hold out both of your hands so he may feel cared for, and wait for him to feel comfortable enough to climb onto your hands. Aventurine may tell you it doesn't matter, but it is advisable to take great care and consideration of his emotional and mental wellbeing regarding your actions towards him.

Beginner Aventurine enjoys enclosures that are bright with natural light and open, but also safe and guarded well. You may keep him near your windows, on your bed, or any designated spot where he is free to explore that is well-illuminated. However, if he is picked up in the middle of his exploration process, he may whine and sarcastically compliment your furniture.

Beginner Aventurine is more personally closed off, so users are advised to be patient. He is, however, comforted by the sight of beautiful jewels, a comfortable bed, and warm food [Please refer to Care Package for accessories, especially regarding jewels. You do not need to buy real diamonds to impress Aventurine.].

The longest stage is the Beginner stage, so users may not be pleased with the delay in level up when it comes to Aventurine. He is not comfortably accustomed to change. It is advised he grows according to the rate he deems fit. However, the new Companion Feature allows Aventurine to interact with Dr. Veritas Ratio, and Aventurine's level up may be encouraged further if he witnesses Veritas Ratio level up, or receive his advice and help. Users are advised to supervise their interactions closely, as Intermediate Aventurine and Advanced Veritas Ratio are prone to petty arguments.

Intermediate Aventurine shows not much difference with the later stages of Beginner Aventurine, however, he may start interacting more openly with his user. He will frequent your personal space, initiate more friendly conversations and become inquisitive about your personal life – please tell him all about your Friends and Family. Aventurine feels closer to people the more he knows about their personal relationships. Users are also encouraged to compliment Aventurine whenever he decides to explore an area he tends to avoid – this will level up Aventurine's premature skill “Lost and Found [I]” to “Observe and Retrieve [II]”. Aventurine may find objects of precious value to user that may have been lost before, and will help the user find misplaced items with greater ease. It also supports the continual growth until he reaches Advanced level.

At the Advanced Level, Aventurine finds it very easy to accustom to User's routine. His skill may also level up from “Observe and Retrieve [II]” to “Initiate and Succeed [III]”. Advanced Aventurine will be more open to user and relay his personal feelings without hesitance. He may also choose to be called Kakavasha at this stage [Our users are informed that Kakavasha was the name of the previous model Aventurine is currently based upon,and to not fear any errors]. Aventurine at this stage may grow exponentially overnight depending on how deep the bond between him and his user is. If you reach a close bond level, Aventurine grows up to a size of 5’6-5’7 overnight, and delight in his own growth. Users are advised to prepare in advance once Aventurine reaches Intermediate stage.

Congratulations! You now have a full grown Aventurine, who may choose to go by Kakavasha in private. Aventurine is extremely skilful in managing the user's finances and personal relationships, offering advice and deciphering actions of others around his user. However, Aventurine is prone to safeguarding seemingly invaluable things, such as handwritten notes, old jewelry the user may have wanted to discard, and frequently visits the user's personal space. Aventurine, however open he may be, still hides some of his personal feelings. Users are advised to be comforting and patient with Aventurine, and oblige with his unsure nature regarding trust and belongings. Aventurine is prone to Neglect [IV], and users are heavily warned to never ignore Aventurine, especially in times of need or when quarrels occur. You may comfort him during your busy schedule by offering him handwritten notes of small reassurance, or provide him with the Gold Card Pack provided within the Care Package.

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The Raven Package

The box is very fragile, and contains many pieces of accessories, so please do not shake it. It is light blue in colour, and is adorned with a small golden brooch the user may keep as a decorative piece. Inside, you receive a transparent box encasing a sleeping Sunday, and a plethora of neatly arranged accessories beside him. Please handle it with great care.

Sunday does not mind being woken up, but he will be displeased if you let him sleep too much. You may use the clockie accessory to wake Sunday up at an appointed time.

Handle Sunday with dignity! Users are advised to not haphazardly hold Sunday, he holds himself in high regard and does not like being carried with impropriety. However, users may occasionally hold Sunday by the back of his collar like the scrunch of a kitten, for short durations of time.

Beginner Sunday requires a well-organised area with neat schedules and planners. He prefers yellow-lighting and if the user has a study lamp, Sunday may occasionally nap under it. He is open to talking but will maintain an ample distance with his user; but do not be discouraged. Beginner Sunday may become more open if the user manages to help him to their haircare products and share tips on preening his wings.

Intermediate Sunday is a bit difficult to deal with, according to user experiences. Sunday may demand more attention and become more meticulous with manner and speech. He may advise the user in their appearance and presentation. However, Sunday does not mean ill. He is simply trying to help his user. If the user becomes agitated due to his constant advice and expresses their feelings, Sunday may enter Sulking [II], and hide in his gift box. You may comfort your Sunday by arranging his accessories Conference Table Prop 2, Office Chair (8), and Sandpit Prop 1, Musical Instrument Violin Prop 2 and Documents Prop, and asking him to check the current layout which will lure Sunday out of Sulking and into Curiosity.

Intermediate Sunday may experience difficulty reaching the Advanced level, so we advise users to be more supportive during this stage. Sunday may act irrationally or out of character, and pace around in a space, supervise you constantly, meticulously manage seemingly insignificant things, and try to manage things by himself, which will leave him prone to Overworking [II] and Exhaustion [I]. You may comfort Sunday by offering reassurances and feeding him small, sliced strawberries, or sweets.

Advanced Sunday becomes much easier to handle. Sunday will become self-sufficient and engage in many conversations, mainly pertaining to your duties and responsibilities and help you become more efficient at them. Sunday specialises in Planning [II] which greatly supports the skill Initiate and Succeed [I]. He will also greatly help the user form connections and relationships, giving them social advice. However, at this stage, Sunday is also prone to Overworking [III] and Loneliness [I], which affects him in a greater degree than Intermediate Sunday. The user has to directly engage with Sunday and lure him out of work actively, and provide long hours of company.

Congratulations! You now have a full-grown Sunday. He may grow up to 5’6-5’7, and does not require much maintenance. You may request a copy of accustomed accessories with the appropriate specific manual provided in the care package. Sunday's Companion Feature works greatly with Robin, and it creates more resistance to Overworking [II], [III] and Loneliness [I], and helps him feel less lonely. However, users are warned to not use this Companion feature with Aventurine or Dr. Veritas Ratio, as it may create animosity between them and stunt Sunday's growth, along with weakening his resistance to Overworking [III] and deleveling his skill, Planning [II] to Planning [I].

[luckshmi]

Retrograde Planets in your Birth Chart

In Vedic astrology, retrograde planets in a natal chart carry deep significance and unique implications. A planet is deemed retrograde when it appears to move backward in the sky from Earth's perspective. This apparent reversal can alter the planet's energy, leading it to express itself differently than it would when moving direct. Retrograde planets often highlight areas in our lives where we have unresolved issues from past lives or where we need to focus more intently in this life. Understanding the benefits and challenges of retrograde planets can offer profound insights into your life's journey.

Mercury

Having Mercury retrograde in your birth chart means you process information and communicate in a unique way. You possess deep insights, particularly when it comes to introspection and understanding complex ideas. This can lead to innovative solutions and profound personal insights. However, communication can sometimes be tricky. You might find that others misunderstand you or that you have to work harder to express your thoughts clearly. Issues with technology or travel plans may also arise more frequently. To manage this, practice mindfulness and patience in your communication. Double-check important messages and take your time to articulate your thoughts. You can also calm your mind with Brahmi oil massages, an Ayurvedic practice that enhances clarity and cognitive function.

Venus

With Venus retrograde in your birth chart, you have a deep understanding of what you truly value in relationships and personal finances. This can lead to a stronger sense of self-worth and more meaningful connections. Your approach to beauty and aesthetics is unique and deeply personal. However, you might experience challenges in love and financial stability, feeling strain in relationships or difficulties with self-esteem. Focusing on self-love and healing past relationship wounds can be beneficial. Use Ayurvedic rose oil for self-massage to open your heart chakra and promote self-love, helping you attract healthier relationships and financial stability.

Mars

Mars retrograde in your natal chart endows you with inner strength and resilience. You can be strategic and thoughtful about how you use your energy and pursue your goals, making you a powerful force when you decide to act. However, there might be a sense of frustration or impatience, as it can feel like your efforts are often delayed or blocked. Channeling your energy into long-term projects and practicing patience can help. Regular physical activity, like yoga or Ayurveda-recommended exercises, can manage frustration and keep your energy balanced. Incorporating Ashwagandha supplements into your routine can also reduce stress and boost vitality.

Jupiter

Having Jupiter retrograde in your birth chart gives you a profound capacity for inner growth and spiritual wisdom. You’re likely to develop a strong set of beliefs and philosophies that guide you throughout life, making you wise beyond your years. However, external growth might feel slow, and opportunities for expansion could be limited, requiring you to work harder for your achievements. Focus on your inner journey and trust that external success will follow. Including turmeric in your diet promotes overall health and well-being, supporting both physical and spiritual growth.

Saturn

Saturn retrograde in your natal chart means you have a deep understanding of responsibility and discipline. This can help you build strong foundations in your life and deal with karma and past life issues effectively. However, you might feel increased pressure to revisit old fears and insecurities, and responsibilities could feel more burdensome. Embrace the opportunity to strengthen your foundations. Practice grounding techniques, like walking barefoot on grass, and use Ayurvedic grounding oils like sandalwood to help you stay balanced and focused.

Retrograde planets in your natal chart bring both challenges and unique strengths. Embrace the lessons they offer, and use these insights to grow and transform. By incorporating Ayurvedic practices, you can balance these energies and navigate their influences with greater ease. Remember, each retrograde planet offers an opportunity for profound personal growth and a deeper understanding of your life’s journey.

[syerra-637]

Hi!! I love your work and this is my first time requesting.

If you can, can you do yandere Rook (TWST) with an S/O who thinks they’re really ugly?

Either way I hope you have a good day/night :3

A/n: Thank you for the request, I was very inspired <3. You didn't specify the format, so I did it in the form of headcanons, I hope that's okay Tw : Low self-esteem, yandere behavior, possessiveness and obsessive behavior, surveillance and control, social isolation, veiled threats, manipulation, disturbing behavior, excessive jealousy, self-doubt, themes of coercion and control, toxic relationships, use of a translator Reader : Gn

You have always had low self-esteem, convinced that you are truly ugly. The comments of others and your own reflection in the mirror only reinforce this feeling.

Despite this, you have caught the attention of Rook Hunt, the mysterious and charismatic hunter of Pomefiore. Rook has fallen deeply in love with you, fascinated by your inner beauty that you yourself do not see.

However, his love for you has taken a dark and possessive turn. Rook began to compliment you almost excessively, his poetic and enchanting words trying to convince you of your beauty. "Ah, my dear, you are like a rough diamond, dazzling despite yourself," he would often say.

He watches your movements from afar, protecting you from the slightest criticism or mockery. Anyone who dares to speak ill of you mysteriously finds themselves excluded or sidelined, sometimes even disappearing.

Rook often leaves small gifts and admiring notes, poems, and flowers in your locker or on your desk. He hopes this will make you see how special you are in his eyes.

Rook becomes increasingly possessive, ensuring that you spend as much time as possible with him. He invites you to secret dates, getaways in nature where he can admire you without interruption.

He has a way of subtly manipulating others to ensure you have no close friends. You start to notice that people are distancing themselves from you for no apparent reason, except for Rook, always there to console you.

His language becomes more intense and a bit frightening at times: "I will not let anyone tarnish your beauty, no one understands how precious you are to me."

You have difficulty accepting his compliments, thinking that he is mocking you or that he is blinded by something you do not see. "You say that, but I know you can't really mean it," you often murmur in response.

Rook begins to gently isolate you, surrounding you with his love and obsession. He tells you that he is the only one who sees the real beauty in you, that others are blinded by superficial standards.

You begin to doubt your own perception. Maybe Rook is right? Maybe you are beautiful in his way? Rook does not hesitate to use veiled threats against those who might potentially harm you or come between the two of you. "No one loves you like I do, and I will do anything to protect you," he says, his eyes shining with a worrying intensity.

His fits of jealousy become more frequent. He follows you, ensuring that no one gets too close to you. It becomes increasingly difficult to find a moment of solitude.

Despite everything, he continues to adore you, repeating how magnificent you are, hoping that you will eventually believe his words and accept his unconditional love, even if it is tinged with madness.

You are trapped in a whirlwind of his excessive attentions, his sweet but suffocating words, and his possessive desire. Rook is determined to keep you by his side, to prove that you are much more than you think.

No matter the means, Rook will do everything to make you see what he sees: a person of unparalleled beauty, worthy of his consuming and delusional love. And he will let no one, not even you, stand in his way.

[redstarwriting]

pda/general affection hcs | ii.

ft. pavitr prabhakar & gwen stacy

request?: yes and no

warnings:  language, cuteness, mentions of injuries, mentions of stressing too much, possibly incorrect use of hindi words

a/n: slay!! i think i love hcs so much bc it gives me a chance to actually get to know the character i’m writing them about lol, i hope y’all enjoy! twas a fun one

if you wanna read pt i. (with hobie and miles), click here!

───────────────────────────────────

pavitr prabhakar | spider-man

pda

- he loves pda - point blank PERIOD - at the very least - his arm is around you - AT THE VERY LEAST - he’s just In Love Dude - and he gets excited every time he sees you - of course, though he reads people very well - so if you don’t like it he doesn’t do it - but bro - he LOVES holding hands - like it’s ridiculous how much he loves holding your hand - and when i say holding hands i mean hands intertwined - doesn’t matter if y’all are walking - studying - eating - just hanging out - if his hand isn’t intertwined with yours his arm is around you - and if he can’t do that his leg is touching you - and if he can’t do that his foot is touching yours - listen - he loves to be touching you - and he loves when you’re touching him - one day after his Spider-Man escapades - he rushed to meet up with you - and his hair was all kinds of blown around - and you giggled - fixing it for him - tucking it behind his ear - he was in heaven - he frequently messes up his hair now just so you’ll fix it - “Pavitr, baby, what’s going on? Your hair’s been so unruly lately.”   “I don’t know, betu, but I think you should fix it for me.”   “Okay, okay, get over here.” - he hopes you never catch on - you already have - but it’s cute so you don’t care - he’s also very partial to staring at you and not paying attention to anything else around him - he has frequently run into a building - or a car - while web swinging if he sees you - and he’s run into poles - other people - more cars - when the two of you are just walking next to each other - the two of you have matching bracelets - he never takes his off - one time he lost it after he took it off - he FREAKED - “(Y/N) I CAN’T FIND MY BRACELET!”   “Pav it’s okay just—”   “I RUINED THE RELATIONSHIP”   “Pav—”   “I— oh hi auntie, what’s that? You found my bracelet! Bahut! (Y/n), the problem is fixed! Our relationship is stronger than ever!” - but he BRANDISHES that bracelet - shows it to everyone - especially if someone comments on yours - he will be right there like - “I have a matching one! Are we not adorable?” - speaking of - he’s not good when it comes to getting jealous - he gets jealous easily - he trusts you 100% - it’s the other people he doesn’t trust around your beauty - he gets touchier somehow - and super pouty - “(Y/n), pay attention to meeeee…”   “Pav, baby, you’re pulling on my shirt like a toddler.”   “Pay attention to me and I’ll stop. Promise.” - he doesn’t get like this all the time obviously - but if it’s obvious some man is flirting with you - he gets this way - he’s also way smoother than you think - sometimes he trips up but he immediately catches it and fixes it up lol - he just loves pda - and you

general affection

- if you thought Miles was affectionate hoo boy just you wait - he has difficulty keeping his hands off you in public so in private? - game over - there are times when he is literally just laying on top of you - i’m not kidding - when y’all take naps together he is sprawled out on top of you - good luck trying to get up - it is not happening - unless you wake him up and even then he’s like nooooooo don’t leeeaveeee :( - his auntie Maya loves seeing the two of you at home - he always pours your chai for you and knows exactly how you like it - he actually knows exactly how you like everything - he will order for you just because he knows how to get it your favorite way - and when you aren’t expecting it he’ll get you coffee - or chai - or literally any drink of your choice because he knows all of them by heart - he also knows how to cheer you up if you’re ever upset - whether he needs to listen - give advice - just hold you - all of it - he knows things about you that you don’t even know about yourself - in fact - he has a little journal where he writes down everything he knows about you - it’s not in a weird way, i promise - it’s more of a “if they need this, do this” type of thing - of course, he also gushes about you in it - because he is literally in love with you - he keeps you out of his Spider-Man business as best as he can - he doesn’t want you to get hurt - because chances are if you get hurt he will literally break down - and if you’re in danger, he believes he could save you as well as anyone else in trouble of course - he’s Spider-Man, that’s what he does - but above all - he would save you - and he really doesn’t want to lose you in any way - it’s actually one of his biggest fears - and when he thinks about it for too long it almost sends him into a panic attack - “Pavitr? What’s up, baby? You’re shaking...”   “Huh? Oh, nothing, (Y/n), don’t worry about me. I’m supposed to worry about you.”   “Uh uh, Pav, that’s not how it works. I’ll always worry about you. If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine, but come here.” - he never turns down cuddles from you - never - in fact, he actually prefers being the little spoon if y’all ever spoon - he just loves being held by you - he also really loves the way you speak to his auntie - you respect her so much - and it’s obvious - the two of you get along so well - it warms his heart - and he will often invite you over for meals - another thing he loves is just being in your presence - like literally as long as you’re around him and he’s around you he feels calmer - he has many nicknames for you - too many to even pick a favorite - he’d have to think about it for a long time to choose a favorite - something he does do is he says bro affectionately to you - “Pav, how do you like this new outfit?”   “Bro! You look so good!”   “Bro?”   “Yes, bro… just like… bro in the sense of ‘I love you you mean everything to me,’ you know?… Bro…?” - he doesn’t call you bro often but sometimes he slips up and does lol - you don’t really care it’s just funny to watch him scramble when he does call you that - and the way he tells you he loves you every day - once in the morning - once in the afternoon - and multiple times in the evening - another thing he does is show off to you in private - he always shows you his spider skills hoping to impress you - you know why he does it - and find it endearing - so you ooo and ahhh like you haven’t seen him do all of it 78 times - it boosts his ego and makes his heart flutter in the best way - he has definitely snuck into your room at night after a long day of Spider-Manning - if he’s hurt, you help - but he honestly tries to cover up any injury he’s gotten before seeing you - he doesn’t want you to worry too much - even though you do - the first time he did come to you injured you helped him immediately - and then had to hold him because you were worried - you fixed the injury - and then just clung to him like a koala - he loves when you do that - he will actually walk around while you cling to him like you weigh absolutely nothing - because you do weigh nothing to him with the absurd strength he has - he finds it so cute - he tried to uno reverse it once - didn’t work out too well for him (or you) - but he still thought you were cute even when you did fall on the floor underneath of him

overall

- he loves pda because he loves showing you off to people - not in a weird way - but in a “look how amazing my partner is! i know you’re all jealous” type way - but my god he’s soft - and he can and will know absolutely everything about you - and picks up on your moods and behaviors and will get you what you need - before you even know it - he’s very attentive - and very in love - he tells you that all the time

gwen stacy | ghost-spider

pda

- Gwen isn’t all that big on pda actually - it’s not that she like - hates it - but she also just - doesn’t care for it - it’s not like she avoids any and all physical touch with you in public - that’s not the case - and she will always be very close to you - to the point where sometimes it’s like - personal space, Gwendy - “Gwen, babe, you’re literally on top of me.”   “What? No I’m not. I can be if you want but I don’t think many people would appreciate me standing on your shoulders.”   “…Gwen I meant you’re just very close to me right now.”   “Oh. Well, yeah. I like being near you.” - she does like to link arms with you - that’s a big one for her - if the two of you are on a walk - she will link arms with you - her hand will be in her pocket too so there’s no escape!! - not actually - you could slide your arm out whenever you want - she also will frequently bump her shoulder against yours - that’s like the biggest way she shows affection in public - she’ll bump shoulders - push you playfully - playfully punch you - playfully slap you - it’s a good way for her to show you that she cares for you - but without all the super lovey-dovey stuff on display for everyone - she will also link pinkies - but there’s not a lot of kissing in public - not even like - on the cheek - maybe - maybe - she’ll blow you a kiss - but i think it would depend on who’s company you’re in tbh - obviously when she’s around people she’s comfortable with she’ll show more - she’ll prop her legs on your lap - wink at you - will have her hand somewhere on your arm or your leg - especially around Pav, Miles, and Hobie - she really doesn’t care that much around them - but she still isn’t outwardly making out with you or anything like that - another thing she will do in public is boop your nose - sometimes you laugh - and she’s just like yeah - yeah that’s the good shit - and she’ll boop your nose cause it’s all scrunched up - it’s actually very cute - “I love your laugh.” *boop*   “What was that?”   “What was what?”   “Why did you just boop my nose?”   “It was all scrunched up and looked cute and it’s my obligation as your girlfriend to melt when you look like that.” - she does make eye contact with you a lot - but she also looks away a lot - girl gets flustered - she’ll be a blushing mess at times - especially if you do something while she’s drumming at one of The Mary Janes shows - those shows are the rare times she will give you a kiss in public - she’s just got so much adrenaline pumping through her she doesn’t give a fuck - she will finish the set and immediately kiss you - “How’d I do, babe?”   “Y-You did great, Gwen…”   “Awww, someone’s flustered. Good to know I have that effect on you, honey.”   “Shut up, Gwendolyn.

general affection

- y’all - 🚨we got a biter🚨 - she will bite your shoulder - not hard or like with malicious intent - but she will just - glomp down on you - the first time it happened you were like girl, what? - but now it’s just kinda - awwww - like you’ll be minding your business - cooking dinner or something - and out of nowhere - *chomp* - “Gwen, babe, I’ll give you attention in a minute just let me finish this.” - she will stay there until you are done - if you walk she walks with you - she’s also much more laidback when the two of you are alone - in fact, she is way more open to everything - she will frequently crawl on the ceiling and hang upside down just to give you an upside-down kiss - it’s like her favorite thing - “Again?”   “Obviously.”   “You know we have the ability to kiss right side up?”   “Where’s the fun in that?” - you must admit - you do like the kisses - something else she really likes to do is dance with you - like y’all will be in the kitchen - at like 3am - looking for a snack or something - trying to keep quiet so her dad doesn’t wake up - and she’ll just start spinning you around - she’s lucky she’s so graceful or else her dad would be ready to fight every time you stay over - he also lets you stay over a lot - he wants to give Gwen freedom - and he knows that he can trust you - you’re also the closest she’s been to anyone after Peter (which you help her with tremendously) - so he’s more than okay with having you around - and she is too - the two of you will share a bed - facing each other - this is when she shows the most physical affection in your relationship she’ll stroke your cheek with her thumb - steal kisses - rub your back and arm - play with your hair - she gets needy when she’s tired - and when she comes home tired from a long day of being Spider-Woman - she’ll just collapse on her bed with you in it - “Babe, you should take a shower”   “But I want cuddles.”   “Gwen, go clean yourself.”   “But I want—”   “I will cuddle you only if you take care of yourself!” - she tends to let her basic needs fall behind her duties - so you are always there to remind her to do things - she does the same with you - in fact, she’ll always put your needs before hers - which you scold her for - but she doesn’t care - you’re more important to her than herself, so - like actually, after Peter she can’t afford to lose another person close to her in her life like that, she’s always checking on you and will frequently stress herself out worrying about you - you’re always cared for - always have food - always have a place to stay - anything you need she will get you - she also tries really hard to tell you where she is all the time - she shares her location with you - and even has another dimension-hopping watch so she can reach out to you when she’s away - took a while to convince Miguel of that - “but he caved eventually,” she said - Hobie made her oneL LMAO - she will write a lot of songs about you - like all the time - you’ll never see them - maybe - and if you do she’ll try to play it off like she isn’t a cheesy romantic at heart - but you mean a lot to her - and she means a lot to you

overall

- Gwen isn’t too physically affectionate - but she is when it counts - and she will do whatever it takes to take care of you - you are the light of her life - she will do anything to keep it bright

───────────────────────────────────

[ddarker-dreams]

each version of yan scaramouche throughout the years is ridiculously clinging in their own strange way. 

as kabukimono, the others at tatarasuna often joke that he follows you around like a duckling. there are practically stars in his eyes whenever you’re so much as mentioned, he’s absolutely smitten. his way of getting closer to you — and staying there — had a rather innocent origin. he just so happened to notice that you dote on him even more whenever he makes a mistake or seems to be struggling with ‘simple’ human tasks. at first, he really was having difficulty with things such as getting dressed and brushing his hair, but over time, he learned to conceal his progress so you would take the time to help him. 

the unknown feeling that blossomed in his chest whenever your fingers brushed or he was close enough to smell the incense on your clothes was divine. he’d come up with any excuse to remain by your side, leaning into his harmless image a little too much, albeit subconsciously. after all, you may not have been so willing to allow a man in your bed just because he claimed his nightmares were making it difficult for him to sleep... but because you think he’s so sweet and lacking any ulterior motive, you don’t even bat an eyelash, gladly opening up the futon for him to lay beside you. he just can’t help himself. there’s nowhere he’d rather be than with you. 

as scaramouche, he has a simple and ineffective formula. keep the doors locked + be the only person you can have verbal interaction with = profit? (there is no profit to be had). you’re so sick of him but he’s there anyway. what makes matters worse is his audacity to act like he’s doing you a favor, spending a few hours of his busy day entertaining someone such as yourself. he says it that way too. word for word. with his nose in the air. you really can’t stand him. this method is what he prefers to utilize by far. sure, there might be some sour feelings on your side, yet it eliminates the risk of you leaving him altogether. he can withstand anything — your glares, the frequent cold shoulder treatment you give him — because it means you’re still there. 

for a person who comes off as greedy as he does, he’s surprisingly content with very little. the slivers of mostly negative attention you give are enough to sustain him, the same way a cactus can survive on very little water. if the balladeer had it his way, he’d always be in your vicinity, but unfortunately, he has constant work as a harbinger. which is why he leaves reminders of his existence on and around you to compensate for his absence. even if he can’t physically be with you, the lingering touches you feel and the marks you see make him impossible to forget. 

as the wanderer, he’s essentially jobless, allowing him twenty-four hours in the day to stick by your side. to make matters worse, the dendro archon herself came to you to ask for your cooperation. lesser lord kusanali has seen how taken with you he is, and after some observation, decides you’d be a good influence on the ‘reformed’ wanderer. lucky you. instead of following you around like a cute duckling, he’s more of a feral stray cat. you’ll ask him if he has anything better to do and he’ll shrug and say not really. trying to throw him off your trail is impossible as well, his ability to track you down is uncanny. he claims that he has a sixth sense for ‘sensing idiots’ every time he catches you. 

in his humble opinion, there’s just nothing more thrilling than seeing every side of you there is to see. he doesn’t want to miss a second. if he isn’t in the mood to chase after you and you try to run away, you’ll end up facing a gust strong enough to knock you off your feet. should he be in a good mood, he’ll catch you. if he isn’t, however... he’ll let you fall over and snicker over your misfortune. his antics to keep you close are mostly bearable, since he doesn’t freeload and offers a decent amount of help in your journeys, whether it be fighting off hoards of monsters or cooking meals. it becomes far more sinister if anyone tries to intrude on what he perceives to be your special relationship, though. 

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

JUPITERS THRONE : ASTRO OBSERVATIONS ON JUPITER PLACEMENTS

Jupiter square ascendant - Difficulty in spaces where their idealistic views and beliefs can piss off certain people. It is because they are more open to the universes astral possibilities and sometimes can be around others who will try to make them 'tone down' there optimism. Sometimes they will have to spend time alone to understand the path they are embarking. It is not until they leave that environment, that inspiring mark they leave on others transforms other people around them.

Venus Sag - Talented in music, arts, spirituality but they have their own twist to it. The seekers they are, they find new ways to bringing out their interest in a light that makes you ponder on it a little. Very intriguing love lives, eventually they let go of all the standards they have over their relationships and make new ones. Trying anything new in their relationships give them the wisdom they need to move forward on their journey.

Don't get your feelings hurt, tho... they are always in charge. Whether you like it or not.

Jupiter Conjunct Moon - The power they have. Whew. They are good orchestras of emotion. They have the ability to cast a spell on you with their large auras. Its hidden in plain sight. It's not until they express their emotions in a way that has people trembling at their feet. Could be amazing performers or people of intellect. They have a lot of knowledge hidden inside them. You just have to be on the other side of their overflowing emotions ;)

9th House Saturns - A long time journey with changing their beliefs through time to time. These people should go on frequent trips to the cabin, and enjoy the mountains for time to time. This will ground them and help them change their perspective a little. A little more outside time will do the trick.

Neptune/ Jupiter aspects - Your subconscious beliefs need to be above the roof. If you have a lack mentality jupiter will extend on it ten times more. Having more faith within your belief system will help you enjoy the fruits of your labor. It's all in the mind, and your luck comes from the infinite consciousness that is your imagination.

Sag Rising - These individuals possess a star light on their appearance that awakens enlightenment in other people. A dream come true in a way. Can have a persona that is of the likeness of a celebrity and have a very powerful energy to them. Something about them screams 'force'. They just got it. The mystery has yet to be solved.

Mercury Trine Jupiter - They could have an audience who just adores their opinions if they just spoke! These people are fascinating to listen to and get their point of view on things. They have a likeable aura when it comes to their speech. The ideas these peeps have within them can be used to change the minds and perspectives of others helping them expand. Can receive divine insight on what needs to be shared, learned or even be expressed in their thought waves. Deep thinkers, but in a way that philosophies whatever it is they put their mind too.

Pluto Trine Jupiter - A POWER HOUSE PLACEMENT!! These are the people who end up wealthy, famous or politicians. Naturally come into positions of power with ease. They know exactly how to get there and what they gotta do to keep it.

Sun Conjunct Jupiter - Popular. Well known. Attractive. Lucky. Lucky lucky lucky. Their faith gets them exactly what they need to fly. Even when the world throws them obstacles they wake up and keep trying. Very inspiring and influential. You can't take that away from them.

Neptune in the 9th - Believe in yourself. The world may not understand you and your own ideas but it isn't for everyone to appreciate, just simply to absorb and allow the consciousness to unfold its gifts into new horizons. Your vision is inspired by the ethereal realms around you and your environment. And you find new ways to gift others a new sense of enlightenment on each persons journey.

[distortedidentity]

How I forced myself to dissociate, a guide for trans/severiDissociative beings

For me, dissociation has always come in "levels." I think, if I hadn't set things up in the order I did, it would be hard for me to dissociate the way I do now. I want to walk you through those levels, and offer some insight as someone who's been dissociating for 4+ years at the time of writing. Of course, everything on this list will be much easier for you if you're chronologically younger (neuroplasticity), and/or under persistent stress. Though, neither of those things are strictly necessary

For @kenochoricgardens. Supreme yapping below the cut

Derealisation

The first layer is derealisation. For me, the easiest thing to do was always detaching from the world around me. Derealisation is the experience of dissociating from your surroundings. I think it's a good jumping off point. The key to achieving derealisation is looking at how cis beings experience derealisation, and trying to "convince" yourself that you are also experiencing it

Cis beings tend to have a foggy perception of their environment while derealising. Some things I see frequently reported are a slowing/warping of time, muffled/distorted audio, and hazy or "far away" visuals. Some beings say their perception of size and depth skews, others say they feel as if in a "dream" or as if experiencing fiction rather than reality

Of course these are all more metaphors than real physical experiences. It isn't hallucinating, these examples are just meant to illustrate how your perception distorts. Even while derealising, beings are aware that what they're experiencing is a matter of perception, even if they're confused by what is real or fake in the moment

The easiest way I found to convince myself to derealise was by repeating affirmations. I know it sounds corny, but it is an easy way to will your brain into tricking itself. When I first started out, I repeated phrases such as "I am dissociating, this is really it, I'm detaching from my surroundings, what is real?" etc. For me it helped to really lay on that feeling of confusion. While you might not experience genuine derealisation the first time, it's the kind of thing you have to do every so often for it to actually kick in

Depersonalisation

Depersonalisation is the experience of dissociating away from yourself. Your sense of being, your own body, your emotions/thoughts, and even your memories. Cis beings tend to report a disconnect from their body when they look down, or an inability/difficulty to recognise their face in the mirror. They may experience their thoughts, emotions, and/or memories to be much harder to reach than usual, or separate from/"foreign" to them. They may feel numb towards pain, or unable to process it in the way they normally would. Cis beings tend to describe it as perceiving their own experiences from an outsiders point of view

Again, be sure to pull out those affirmations and keep in mind that this is all metaphorical. Some of my affirmations when I was starting out were "who am I? Who's body is this? I can't quite recall what I was thinking.. Are these memories mine?" and similar. I'd also recommend trying to "forget" the fact that you exist. Try to detach from your thoughts and your ability to discern that you are thinking. Try to lose track of your identity perception

Despite the fact that you should really try to layer most of these steps slowly, I do actually think you would benefit from doubling depersonalisation up with derealisation (unless you really only want one or the other). I'd wait until you have a bit more experience with the latter, though. Dp without dr is like a girl without a joystick an angel without it's wings /ref. In my opinion tag teaming your lack of dissociation is an effective way to alleviate it

Dissociative Amnesia

Level 3, dissociative amnesia. Dissociative amnesia is fairly self explanatory. Dissociation based amnesia. It usually happens in order to protect the brain from a harmful event/period. You don't really need steps 1&2 to get here, but it certainly helps.

Dissociative amnesia comes in many different forms. You may not be able to remember specific events, you may not be able to remember larger periods of time. You may even find yourself losing significant memory on the daily if you struggle with persistent stress. It also comes in different intensities. Some beings experience a total wiping of the memory/memories, whereas some beings can retrieve their memories with some effort

Choosing to induce dissociative amnesia is difficult, because it's so context specific. Unlike dp/dr it's not something you can repeat affirmations to whenever. Even if you don't have any particularly negative memories, you could still pick a certain memory/time period and refuse to think about it. Though I will say it's most effective when used as a coping mechanism to avoid bad things, as is any form of dissociation

If you do find yourself remembering, you could berate yourself for it. This was most helpful to me, because it gave my brain something negative to associate with the targeted memories. If you're not looking for a negative experience with dissociation, this might not be the best step for you though

Fragmentation

The final boss of voluntary dissociation, identity fragmentation. I don't really understand this as well as other forms of dissociation, but it describes the breaking down of identity into "parts". CDD systems are famous for it, but people with BPD and singlets with (C)PTSD also experience it to lesser degrees.

In systems, parts tends to look more or less like separate consciousnesses/people with their own wants, needs, and opinions. I'm less educated on BPD and PTSD, but it is my understanding that while fragmented, the parts are more facets of the being they belong to, rather than separate consciousnesses.

While I am fragmented, my fragmentation isn't at the level of cisplurality. I was able to achieve this after a year or so of practicing derealisation, depersonalisation, and dissociative amnesia + repressing aspects of myself. I understand that this seems like a very lengthy process, but I hope that your transition can be quicker with your intention, as mine was accidental.

I started by cutting off parts of myself. I convinced myself that they weren't real, that I wasn't really like that, etc. You could do the same. You could also berate yourself for displaying traits of the part you're looking to dissociate from, though again, this isn't strictly necessary if you're looking to have a non-negative relationship with dissociation. Something that will dramatically increase dissociation between your parts is thinking of them less as "parts", and more as psychological objects separate from you. Or, if you're aiming for plurality, assigning them a completely different identity

Final thoughts

In conclusion, affirm constantly. All brains are capable of dissociation to some degree if placed in the right conditions. I understand how slow and tedious transitioning can be, but over time you will begin to notice changes. If it helps, fake it till you make it, even to yourself. Pretending is another form of affirmation. My biggest piece of advice is to use these tips as coping mechanisms. That's typically what dissociation is. I hope this is useful for you. Good luck with your transition!

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Taming Of The Princess

Ao3 cross post

Rated: Explicit | brat taming, brat!reader, fem!reader, dubcon to con, foot fetishist (its minor) (like the good Victorian man who worships you)

it's writing month! and this 3k im crying

Richard has a measure of pride when it comes to playing his role seamlessly. Flawless charming, making himself appear as a humble knight to the lovely ladies of the manor. Oh, he does not forget about men, he is quite equal when it comes to honeyed words, subtle glances, and maybe a few smiles too.

You do not like him.

Lucky Guy and you are from the same century, but you are years further ahead than him. You two are inseparable and quite bold with one another (it said the social norms in your time changed). You hug each other, playfully flirt with each other, and then there is the way you both dress.

The maid dress was at least knee length, but your attire… What was the Lady Nightingale thinking? Your body just displayed so shameless, the way your hips swayed and the collar on your neck begging him to just grab you.

A foul temptress you are to hate him and tease him.

“What the fuck, Dick!” Post-match arguments, “I told you not to go near me!” They happen to everyone, it is nothing new.

“Richard,” Correcting you, “And you were at critical, decoder. My rescue was perfect, it was your primed cipher that was lacking.”

Victor left the match dining room while Naib Subedar watched, he usually does so if anyone gets physical he can put a stop to it before it becomes a fight.

“What!? My cipher was primed when I pinged it. By the time you got Victor, Naiad abnormal it.”

“Then there is no fault—”

“No, you fucked up! You should've left me and popped the damn thing.” You say.

“The match was a loss, (Name).” Naib Subedar cuts him the second he sees your hand ball up into a fist, and slips his hand over yours, “Enough, go.” Stern, you know he wants you to go cool off.

“... Fine.” You still are side-eyeing Richard but you back up from being in his personal space to yell at him. You walk away out of the room.

“That was easier than usual.” Naib Subedar says with his back to Richard then going over to the dining table before pulling back his hood and leading on the table with his hands. Exhaustion clear in his mannerisms and tired sigh, “Don't hold it against her, Naiad has been more of a problem with how frequent being matched with her is becoming.”

Naiad; Richard has some difficulties with her when he does get put into a match with her. Most of Richard’s matches though have been with Nightmare, Fool’s Gold, and often of late Night Watch.

It is a bit arrogant of him but he likes going against the Night Watch, predictable and one who does not relent in trying to take down the knight.

“Ah, well,” Naib Subedar stretches out his back before heading out, “You should go rest before your next match.” Then the knight is left alone.

Richard is learning there is a pecking order here, an unspoken chain of command and seniority. He has no intention of playing lone wolf or trying to seem like a leader, he is a simple knight in shining armor when necessary.

Florian is interesting with his hero complex, perhaps he will be interesting to speak with about the manor.

Richard's charms have already gained him a few admirers among the ladies, a few of the male admirers too because of his feminine beauty.

Two weeks here and he has found himself enjoying himself, though your behavior towards him— Particularly the nickname is bothersome. It is terribly childish yet your guarded demeanor has been brought up twice during gatherings.

You, a quote from a day ago, “Don't trust pretty boys.” 

Laughable given you were in the smoking room talking to Luca about how beautiful Joseph is with and without clothes on.

The mistrust towards him is fine, amusing when others think you are paranoid.

It is not amusing as weeks go by and he finds himself cracking at the seams when you keep pushing and pushing. And then you pushed the knight too far his true color came out… Not that anyone could fault him given the events leading up to it. 

He left the match only after you were downed and you pinged that you would take the dungeon. Perhaps you should not have tested him, or maybe you should have not teased him with backhanded flirting.

Either way, the knight has a plan to deal with your behavior.

"Finally, silence," The sigh from the knight is exaggerated as he looks over his results. It took some time and being a step of you, a cunning little crow— But the fox is far more cunning.

You glare at him as your wrists are tied behind your back and are kneeling, and rope biting around your breasts as he had tied two separate pieces of room to bind your arms in place. The cloth gag was a last-minute choice as you would not shut up, he should have expected that.

"I suppose we can work on your mouth later."

Richard has you in the supply closet in the kitchens, far from the others. He has his advantage and will be using it.

"Cute." Eyeing your bedtime attire, "To think under all that uncouth behavior and improper dressing, there is a fair maiden underneath."

You struggle against your binds, you hiss as the rope keeps your legs folded biting into your skin.

"I understand you enjoy pain but I advise you not to writhe too much... Not yet." A smirk on his face was highlighted by the candelabrum in his hand.

He kneels, his gauntlet hand reaching out tracing your cheek and chin with the back of his finger, eyes admiring the beauty before him. "Cold?"

You are flustered as your nipples are perky and showing due to no bra and the nightgown is revealed by your open robe.

"Fret not, I shall provide the warmth and succor you need, dear maiden.”

The sharp metal is maneuvered with skill and expertise, you whimper with your eyes squeezing shut as his finger moves from your face. Sliding down your throat, collarbone, and reaching the top of your breast. He tugs the front of your robe to further reveal your covered breast, a smirk on his face as he teases by tracing around your nipple. You try moving but you are stuck in place because of the pipe where you can hear water flowing up.

"You once said any girl would want a knight," His voice is so calm as he pinches your nipple and tugs a bit, "I had not realized my wild little crow was a lonely princess in disguise."

You turn your head away as he toys with your nipple causing it to become harder and sore.

"You had to only request my service, my dear lady." His other hand gives your ignored other breast the same treatment with his bare hand. Not much of a difference as both sensations have you struggling not to moan.

"Such a guarded heart. A princess must protect herself when she is alone."

Your back arches towards him by reflex when he leans down enough for his hot breath to caress your nipple through the nightgown.

"You are no longer alone. I am here.”

You are going to kill him, maim him, shove a damn halberd up his knightly persona ass!

The shift to having you on his lap had you struggle then you felt his bulge from his hardening cock within those tight pants, it just had to brush against your crotch. You shiver as his mouth is on your breast, taking your nipple into his mouth even with the fake silk-like fabric. There you moaned as he made sure to be cruel and abuse your breasts to have you rocking your hips for attention elsewhere.

"Oh, how beautiful you are," He guides you to keep rocking your hips, to keep grinding on his cock and staining his pants with your dripping cunt. He grins as he knows your face hidden in the shadows is simply lovely. The pained expression as pleasure captures you without its claws.

He raises your nightgown to your waist then tucks the sides into the rope and does the same with the back.

"Naughty. Quite the lingerie to be wearing, princess."

"Fump humt!" You try back talking which gets you a slap on your exposed ass cheek by his gauntlet. You cried out in pain.

"Behave, though I serve you, you will not disrespect your knight."

You nod as if apologetically.

"Good girl." Kissing your nose, "Now, let me lay you down."

You are untied from the pipe but still helpless and now you are on the floor with wide-open legs.

Princess. The shit you do not call yourself because you are too grown for that!— Plus, you prefer being called kitten or pup, some hot and degrading when you are in the mood. Yet, from him, it sounds like a perfect fit.

You gasp as you feel his metal finger rub up and down your cunt, your partially lace panties captured his fancy. You are wet, and can't be helped with what he is doing with your breasts, his mouth back on them as he tugged your gown down to free them enough to place hickeys on the top.

You writhe and moan, head turning back and forth, back arching up when he gives more attention to your clit. The barrier of your panties protects you from cold metal but does not save you from his touches.

"That's it, so good for me, princess. It is what I am here for, to satisfy you."

The corner of your eyes builds up tears as the stimulation becomes too much. You won't be able to hold back from cumming.

And you swear he knows!

Knows and stops before you could cum, you were expecting him to then pull out his cock and just fuck you.

Oh, how wrong you are. Your knight is hellbent on ensuring his lesson is taught and understood.

He moves your panties aside before putting two fingers in his mouth to wet them before he cups your pussy. You go stiff when he tries to put two fingers in and then puts the middle finger slowly and carefully. He hushes you, finger wiggles and he groans at the way your velveteen walls are so inviting. Tight and wet, he moves it around a bit more before inserting his index finger, a second to wait for you to relax before moving. Scissoring his fingers to prepare you, enjoying searching for that spot; that spot that has any woman hysterical.

You are squirming more as you feel him searching for your demise, and you get unexpectedly loud when he does.

"Rihmrd!"

"Ah, deep right here." As he touches it again. His thumb is on your clit rubbing circles as he now has you trembling before your fall.

Over and over, just on the edge, he kept fingering you to the edge but never letting you cum.

At this point, you are crying and begging for him to just let you cum. You have forgotten about being mad at him for anything! All you want is mercy to be free of this torture!

"Has the princess learned her lesson, hm?"

You nod your head quickly.

"Understand my patience can be tested but you will reap the consequences, dear one. I can be rewarding and merciless." A dark tone you now realize he used during one of the matches where you went too far to be petty.

"You will cum soon. First, you will provide me with a taste of your nectar."

Anything he wanted he could take it with how you are burning alive with need.

Richard Sterling is a beautiful man, there is no denying that truth. So is Frederick, so is Edgar (when he isn't being an ass), and Joseph (God, he is divine).

And you have had your share of fun with them. Nothing serious, just fun.

But you do not believe this is going to be a temporary one-night stand with Richard. You fear he is going to imprint himself on you, have you crawling back to him, to be his pauper turned into a princess by his word alone.

You hate that! Hate him yet he is between your legs drinking from you while you wish you could pull on his hair— Fucking soft looking hair.

His eyes are sharp on you, locking eyes with him is a mistake as his fingers suddenly start moving at a relentless pace and his mouth is on your clit.

That was your end, seeing the damn constellation of stars with how hard you cum.

You are not going to be able to recover from this, he might have ruined you forever for another. Jerk. Asshole. Damn bastard!

"Gorgeous. Well done, princess." Then he chuckles as your glare is back but your eyes are glossy from crying. "There is no need for that."

You are a mess, hot and bothered, and extremely needy for more.

He kisses his way up to your chest then kisses your chin with the satisfaction of a cat who caught the mouse. "We are not done yet, but you know this. You aren't done either."

You huff at him though you still are floating on cloud nine of your orgasmic high. His hands carefully untied your legs, soothing them and kissing your thigh as he rubbed the numbness you were gaining away. His eyes on your face, your parted lips, your eyes that stare wide-eyed at him like a doe-eyed maiden— Though he believes a siren-eyed maiden caught in a fisherman's net.

“How tempting you are my dearest princess. It is no wonder others are enchanted by you.” His voice is so elegant and sweet in the way you imagine romance novel men sound like.

Perfect, too perfect, you are going to dig yourself further into his trap.

The other leg is untied and given the same care, but then he lifts your leg, and—Your flustered cheek hurts from how hot they are! He tosses off your slipper, his tongue sliding up the bottom of your foot up your big toe, his mouth on it— Sucking on it— before bending your knee to allow him to kiss his way up to your calf.

“Fumk ah!”

Richard attacks your breasts once more, you are helpless and honestly do not want to fight, everything he does has you lost in the ether damn pleasure. His cock is not even inside of you and you want it so badly— So badly you are saying gagged nonsense as he switches from your breasts to your neck and face. He licks your tears away, lips on your cheeks, the dark chuckle as he avoids your sweet lips.

“Shh, now, have I not been patient and merciful with you? Foregoing your reasonable punishment.”

You nod as you just want him to fuck you already.

“Of course, anything for you as you hold my heart, princess.” He rips open your nightgown with his sharp gauntlet. “I will ravish you here, upon your bed, upon mine, anywhere your shameless heart wishes.”

The kiss on your nose has you in tears, well, more tears of frustration and need. He looks at you with affection and false pity.

"Now, my princess," The cloth tugged down to hang around your neck, "Beg with that filthy mouth you like to use to berate your knight."

Oh, you do, with a sobbing cracking voice, you beg for cock. Beg and debase yourself for him to finally fuck you the only way he can possibly could give.

"Good girl." He stands up leaving on the floor looking up at him like a savior promising to soothe your misery.

"On your chest, princess, and show me your ass." Vulgar word coming from him only makes you wetter— If that is possible. You do your best while lying down and rolling over the floor, you cringe at how sticky your breasts are on the cold floor. And pushing your legs under you to display not only your ass but your glossy dripping cunt to the fire.

"Magnificent..." Then he slaps your ass from the bottom near your pussy, "A taste of what you will receive if you test me again, my princess." He enjoys your shout of pain and lust from his firm strike.

You are so happy to hear the unbuttoning of his trousers, to hear his feet moving and the thump of him dropping to his knees. Better is his gauntlet-covered hand grabs a hold of your hair as he rubs his very hard and ready cock between your lower lips, his groan when the tip of his cock catches your twitching hole.

"Richard, please! Please, my knight!" Calling to him. He pulls your hair as his other hand guides him inside the paradise he knows well.

This is the point of no return he wants you, the point where he could do anything and you will take because so long as that quim of yours in full; and he will do anything to you. The last piece of rope is a short-lived mercy as the knight yanks off your robe revealing the deep dip of your nightgown.

The growl at the sight exposing the reality of your nightwear is far more revealing than the current ones of his time, anyone could— Have— Seen you like this.

Your arms are fortunately sore but not numb, your hands scrambling to grab onto anything as he moves at a fast and brutal pace— It hurts yet it is amazing! You cannot shut up, moaning and saying his name, you do not care if anyone passing back hears.

Richard just must not stop, never stop, you say it to beg him to not stop fucking you so damn good.

“That's it, perfect, princess.” Sounding equally as affected by this, by him thrusting into you like a rutting mutt.

“Richard! I'm so ah close!” It is too much yet not enough, “More, everything, please!” Broken sentences of desperation, the laugh behind you as he lays upon your back covering your body. All you feel is him, all you smell is him, all you want is him. His hand goes between your legs, you lose your voice as he rubs your sensitive cilt bringing about your end.

It doesn't stop even with you black out for a second, he keeps going with you on your back and him holding your legs together over his shoulder. He looks so handsome like this; his eyes shine with his fulfilled promise of sin, and his swollen bottom lip from biting down on it, the sweat on his forehead as he gives you everything. You cum once more but now with him, the sensation of his cum filling you up reminds you how grateful you are unable to get pregnant in this cursed manor.

The only good thing about this place, is no more menstrual cycles (though the ovation horniness is still there) and no pregnancies.

You both are out of breath, eyes locked on one another, he doesn't pull out. Richard parts and rests your legs down before kissing you, your legs lock him close as he starts touching you again and you fight to get his clothes off.

Richard finds him enjoying your “bratty” behavior, he gets to see how far you go to get the attention you want from him. It has its time and place, and yes it is childish, but he finds that so long as he has you over his knee— Well, you are inspired to behave for a while.

“Princess.” Kissing your hand as he finds you in the library putting away some of the books you borrowed, “Are you preoccupied at the moment?”

“No, why?” Placing the last book back, “Dick!” He pushed you against the wall-mounted bookshelf with both your hands against the shelf.

“Knight or Richard.”

“No Daddy or my Lord?” Being your usual self, “Is my Lord in a good mood if he is wearing his armor.” Winking at him. You like the Red Knight armor set though it is a pain in the ass to get it all off— Not that you want it off of him immediately!

“He is but her highness should address me as ‘sir’ for I am only her,” Sliding down onto his knees, “Modest knight.” You keep your hands in place as you watch him enjoy the benefits of you wearing a summer dress, one you usually wear to tea with Emma and Melly.

“Here?”

“Here.”

[pokemoncaretips]

PSA from the Alolan rangers

This year, due to unusual cosmic activity, worm holes are going to be frequent, and this corresponds to a predicted rise in ultra beast sightings. The rangers have released information on how to keep yourself safe during the next 8 months until the wormholes die down:

Travel in groups and keep alert. We recommend keeping your pokemon out of their balls if feasible.

Familiarize yourself with the cries of ultrabeasts. [A link to a government website is attached with a soundbank of recorded ultrabeast noises]

If you are deaf or HOH, all service pokemon trained in Alola recently are trained to recognize these sounds, but if you have an older service pokemon or are from out of the region, the Deaf Society of Alola will be happy to loan you a trained pokemon for the duration.

Download the ranger alert app for your rotom dex or rotom phone in case of an encounter or sighting. Remember, it is a $5000 fine for making a false report.

Avoid unnecessary travel during this event. If you are someone who works with wormholes or has travelled through or been very close to one, we recommend leaving the region for the duration if you can or increasing security if this is not an option, due to the likelihood of ultrabeasts approaching you.

Ultrabeasts are frequently startled and confused by their sudden arrival here, and are much more likely to be aggressive or reactive. Do not engage ANY ultrabeast. Avoid eye contact and remain still.

Avoid picking up litter with your bare hands, particularly paper litter that seems folded.

Keep an eye on the skies.

If you find dead wild pokemon that have been drained of fluids, vacate the area immediately.

If you feel dizzy, confused or sleepy, leave the area. Pheremosa may be present. Wear a good quality n-95 mask to provide decent protection.

Avoid power plants if you aren't an employee there. If you are an employee, pay close attention to safety briefings and wear all provided PPE. If your employer is not providing PPE, anonymous reports can be made to the authorities here [A link is provided]

Avoid large forested areas and remain alert for a long, low rumbling noise. Stay away from unexplained wild fires.

Obey all evacuation alerts sent out, and keep a survival kit packed with clean clothes, important documents other necessities. A comprehensive list of essential items can be found at the Alolan governments website.

Avoid coming unto contact with naganadel toxin. This toxin is purple and slightly bioluminescent, with a sharp, bitter smell. It's powerfully adhesive and can quickly cause breathing difficulties. If accidental contact occurs, vinegar has been shown to begin breaking it down. Apply white vinegar to the area and contact emergency services.

Make note of stone walls in your area, and report if new ones appear with no signs of construction workers.

Stay safe and don't be a hero.

[dimepdf]

★  𝐆𝐎 '𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃, 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐋 𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐓 + 𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑

masterlist. / taglist. / any request? synopsis. sometimes its alittle hard to get it on with your boyfriend Eren has trouble not sounding like a modern day porn star.

─── ☆ notes. eren yeager brainrot goes brrrr .

─── ☆ length. 1.9k ( 15 min read ) .

─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni,  established relationship, sub!eren, soft dom!reader, mommy kink, teasing, petnames, oral sex (m), teasing, vocal sex, grinding, clothed sex, unprotected sex, cowgirl, begging, consent is sexy, so are whiny men, pee after you're done y'all pls, taiyo supports the practice of safe and healthy banging, reader got that million dolla pasayyy | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

When you first met, the first thing you noticed about your boyfriend Eren was that he was very awkward and skittish. 

Despite being taller than everyone he encountered, he had a bad habit of not being able to maintain eye contact.

He also bit the tips of his glasses when he was anxious and flinched at literally anything, such as if he were a cat with its fur sticking up when frightened.

Given that you were a naturally loud and touchy person around the people you felt more comfortable with, you had found his difficulty to become not startled at literally anything quite annoying.

However, as you were able to help him emerge from the small shell he had created for himself, you began to love all of his qualities and found them to be even cuter as the months of your relationship proceeded, especially when it came to his responses in more private situations.

Eren found it to be more of a problem because he noticed how much you enjoyed agitating him to see what would happen.

It was his fault for not actually telling you about it since he had secretly liked the attention, instead just turning it into the endearing little dynamic you two would adopt, always having him flustered over every little thing that you would do.

Given that you were his first (and only) girlfriend since middle school, it was just in your nature to make him blush for your own amusement since you knew Eren wasn't the most experienced man when it came to the romance or sex scene. 

The extent of his sexual experience is limited to him spending a lot of lone time holed up in his room seeing how many times he could make himself cum with just his hand to keep him company and the secret nsfw Twitter account where he would post audios of him whimpering on. 

Another thing you had noticed about Eren was how easily he had seemed to melt under your touch, with big dark heart eyes and a small exhale of contentment from his lips.

That was how you knew that you had him wrapped around your finger.

He would frequently find himself trying to stifle the stream of uncontrollable groans coming from his mouth by biting into the arm of his sweatshirt.

Of course it was all your fault—like it always is—the effect of your alluring compliments and nudging sexual bluntness, knowing just the right things to say would tent an erection in the poor boy's sweatpants.

Your eyes were glued to the issues, even with your hand pressed right against him, stroking him by the hilt as your fingers continued to entice every little noise that passed from his lips. 

It was becoming more difficult for Eren to not announce to his poor roommates that he was not only breaking curfew by having you over but also in the middle of trying to handle his needy girlfriend, who just couldn't seem to keep her hands to herself.

"Maybe we should do this, ah—another time, lovebug?" Eren muffled through his sweater sleeve, he pleads as you had him with his sweaters tugged down resetting in his boxers laid snuggly in between his parted legs. 

His other hand fisted into his comforter, trying to focus his strength in one place, with his hair disheveled from you shoving him against his mattress the second that he had managed to shut and lock his bedroom door.

"Why, what's wrong?" With your lips pouted you ask out in a false naive tone, chuckling as Eren shuddered at the feeling of your warm tongue swiping up the underside of his dick while not breaking eye contact. 

“Um, I don't know—it's just my roommates are home.” he whined. 

You hummed attention flittering from his face to his dick, your thumb dragging over the precum that oozed from his tip feeling pride in the way you had made his thighs twitch, sending a spark of pleasure down his spine straight to his dick.

"And?" You meant no real harm by it, not being able to keep track of how many times you and Eren had fooled around knowing that his roommates had been just behind the door. 

You also had nothing against his roommates and thought Levi and Armin were good people, but right now you only had one thing on your mind.

You had a committed desire for the sexual hunger that told Eren that you were only minutes away from destroying him, and who was he to deny you of what you craved so eagerly? There was a dark glint in your eye to prove it, that told him all he needed to know.

"You need to take responsibility you know, looking like that just to rile me up." You purred, and Eren knew he was the one not being fair in the first place. 

The second he had stepped foot out of his room to see you with his shaggy long dark hair tied up away from his face with one of your brown hair clips to show off the naturally sculpted face now displayed in full view for the world, it was as if Eren hadn’t noticed his true beauty.

"Plus," you smirked, sitting up to crawl up his legs to hover on top of him just above his pelvis, with your palm pressed flat against his needy erection. "I’m not the one being loud now, am I?"

You wanted to laugh at the struggling exhale that parted from Eren’s mouth, looming over him with such majestic beauty that he couldn't even comprehend how to form anything but a cute whimper, his hips lifting farther into your touch, his body reacting for him.

Eren's body was just so red and flushed with heat, not to mention how chastising your touch was against his skin, that he felt as though he had walked into an open flame. 

His body shook with each tease of your fingers, from the pale pink kiss against the spread of his cheeks to his dark blown-out pupils glittering with lust. 

Eren looked up at you with nothing but utter admiration in his eyes.

You attempted to conceal the fond smile that was sure to appear on your face at the sight of your boyfriend trembling by tucking your bottom lip in between your teeth. 

Eren clamped his hand over his mouth, pressing his fist against his mouth, his teeth grazing against his pale knuckles as you guided his tip between your thighs, grinding against his full hardness.

A struggling noise comes from his throat, and you quickly rid him of that privilege by removing the palm planted against his torso to instead pin his arms beside his head. "P–please, I can't if you keep teasing me, mommy."

Eren chased after the tempo of your hips after you cut him off, grinding against him with just the layer of your underwear slid to the side out of the way of any interruption. 

Your mouth parted as you finally took him inside, sliding him into your bundle of nerves with a wet sound as you slapped down with a bit more rough force against his lap that made him want to drool. 

Eren's intention to keep quiet to avoid attracting the unwanted attention from his poor roommates vanishes as he relaxes against your touch and leans back against his pillows while cowering out your name as if pleading for you to spare him from your chaos.

The pressure of having you hold him down as you shift your weight up and down on his length completely destroyed his composure as your scorching insides melted what was left of his sanity.

Because you wanted to milk Eren for all that he was worth, you weren't one to show him mercy, but that didn't stop you from ruining a perfectly good orgasm for a little bit more teasing.

You were a brat at heart.

As Eren sighed idly, his brows furrowed and his eyes shimmered with threatening tears, you withdrew your hand from his wrist and firmly steadied yourself against the headboard.

"If you're really that worried, I guess we can just stop if you want to?" You cooed, with a small roll of your hips.

Eren wanted to sob, but not in a really sad way; rather, I'm convinced my girlfriend might be some type of succubus way that had him rutting against your still hips shifting under your weight. "No, please, I wanna so bad mommy. I need you, please."

“Hm, I don't know, the last thing I ever wanna do is make you uncomfortable baby.” You had the audacity to say as if you weren't just purposely clenching around him. 

“Please, I'll be good,” Eren whined, pitching his hips up, his hands trembling as he seizes you by your hips changing the pace of your moments to something more tolerable. 

“I just want you to fuck me.” and just that easy had he flipped a switch in your brain, your hands settling pressed against his chest to keep your balance as you followed through with his wishes the squeak of his poor mattress springs not even being able to cover up the sounds of poor sounds. 

It was an agonizing pleasure to still himself as you rode on top of him, holding back from messing up your steady rhythm with the absolute feral feeling that he had built up in his system. Devoting the rest of the control that he had left in his body to cover his mouth, struggling to hold back every gasp and moan praying that his roommates would spare him with mercy the next morning.

“Aww poor baby.” he shivered at the proud smirk on your face, “want me to help?” Eren could only nod obediently, completely had he lost control of his voice not trusting what noises would part from his lips next.

The hand resting against this torso trailed up to grip around his neck leaning down to kiss him, deciding that covering his mouth with yours was a more effective way to muffle him.

Eren responded enthusiastically, allowing his body to melt under your kiss, falling intoxicated to the feeling of your body grinding against his, the amount of friction and ecstasy happening to his body enticing his orgasm closer and closer, panting under your soft lips. 

You were the first to come undone, it was common with all that teasing would you always be the one too excited to hold yourself together in the long run.

The stutter of your hips and the tight clench of your muscles making his brain switch into faulty mod.

Just seconds after had Eren let out a whine of pleasure, you leaned back holding onto the headboard lazily as his hands moving to hold you into place the sound echoing through his shoebox size of a room. 

The noise was definitely heard by the dorm's other occupants as they could only hold so much strength in the trust of a wooden door between them. 

Post-nut clarity hitting Eren like a bus, the sound of your laughter being the first thing he could process after his string of groans. His hands instantly went to cover his face as you snuggled closely against him, giggling at his shy reaction.

“You did that on purpose,” he murmured, mentally preparing himself to have to face the awkward eye contact he would have to endure getting up and walking to the bathroom. 

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[intothegenshinworld]

Fate’s Destiny ~ Chapter 8.7 || The Acting Grand Master

You somehow, not being able to explain it, had fallen into the Genshin world you know oh-so-well. You were no new player and had explored most of the nooks and crannies of the world. When you first had woken up in Windrise you wondered; it might be a dream, after all, you were behind your screen usually, and now- here? It made no sense, and the world was keen on keeping it that way.

Warnings: Spoilers for main story.

Word count: 3.4k+

Summary chapter 8.7: Acting Grand Master Jean has a lot of responsibilities. What can she do to ensure the safety of Mondstadt?

Auteurs note: This is the last bonus chapter before CH9, I promise. This is also the last update before Christmas!! Hope you enjoy

Thanks to: all the people who showed love on the last chapter, even if it took me over a year to update the series <3 your support means the world to me

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Some time ago, in Mondstadt:

It had become an oddly frequent occurrence for the Anemo Archon to stand in Jean’s office. What's worse, she didn't know if she was the only person in the room to think so. 

While she abruptly stood up from her chair, Diluc and Lisa barely acknowledged the bard. Both looked up for a moment, only to focus their attention back on whatever they were doing prior. 

"Ah! Well if it isn't the beloved Knights of Favonious. You know, I would've come sooner if I could!" Venti trips as he stumbles through the door. "Ah, I'll never get used to that. Excuse me—" his tone shifts an octave higher before lowering again into an eager voice. "Where are they?"

"Who...?"

"Oh, Grand Master Jean. Of course I mean the Creator, who else would've been able to steal the winds from the Anemo Archon?"

His statement seems to catch the attention of both Lisa and Diluc, although the former was much more slick about it. With all eyes on him, Venti falls silent, looking around in a daze. It is only after he stands still that Jean notices the bottle of wine in his left hand, and the two wine glasses in his right. 

"Uhm. Hello?" Venti lets out a bubbly laugh that seems unfit for the situation. "I get it, the Creator must've spooked you more then they did me, but uhm." He holds up the items in his hands. "We got loooots of stuff to catch up on, and I'd rather start sooner than later if I want to wrap up the events pertaining to the last five centuries." 

"The Creator…?" Jean hesitantly looks at Diluc and Lisa. She's not sure if she's seeking confirmation more than forgiveness.

Please, for the love of the Archons, please let the imposter not turn out to be the True One. 

Venti raises an eyebrow, scanning the room from Jean to Diluc, to Lisa, and back to Diluc, until finally settling on Jean. “Uh, yeah? Did you not welcome them? I can practically feel their energy overflowing this space." 

He gestures with the wine bottle around the room, and Jean is certain she'll have a heart attack any minute now. 

"The... Creator." 

She plops down into the chair, a gesture of defeat, silently resigning herself to the idea that the real deal had been right in front of her this whole time, and heavily regretting how she considered locking them up. As the Acting Grand Master this is bound to cause the reputation of Mondstadt to fall, not to mention her own betrayal towards the  Creator of everything.

Venti purses his lips as he watches Jean. he shifts his weight from leg to leg, "Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good."

Diluc (praise his soul) helps to divert the attention from Jean when he speaks up, "You mean, Kaeya was right?" He sounds annoyed and bewildered, "That can't be. Surely the real-"

Diluc stops when his eyes land on the somewhat silly looking Archon. He remembers that he never suspected the Anemo Archon to be drinking in his own tavern prior to the Dvalin fallout. So perhaps if an Archon can mingle with their people unnoticed, the Creator could–in theory, too.

Diluc gestures somewhat difficulty into the air. "Well." 

"Well? " Venti mimics him.

"It's a difficult situation," the redhead grunts out, flustered by the fast paced conversation and information thrown at his head. Diluc crosses his arms as a scowl settles on his face.

Venti huffs. "More difficult than dealing with the abyss order and Dvalin when he was corrupted?" he turns around in his place, "surely it can't be that bad. I've only been away for half a week—and I would've been faster if our beloved Creator gave me a notice." He lets out a cheeky laugh accompanied by a wink and plops down into the chair across from Jean. He then carelessly drops the two glasses and wine bottle onto the surface of the desk separating them both. Jean now realizes that the extra glass was meant for the Creator.

The Creator of Teyvat, the one she had thought to be an imposter and nearly banished from Mondstadt.

She pulls her fingers through her hair and faintly prays, "Dear Barbatos–" 

"Oh? You're ready to talk now?" Venti responds as he makes himself more comfortable in the chair. While everyone else seemed tense, he appeared unbothered by the whole ordeal. Probably, because he still believed the Creator to be around. Would he understand Jean’s misunderstanding if she told him what had occurred?

Lisa’s voice chimes over her doom-filled thoughts. "Give her a moment. It's safe to say we're all catching up to the fact that the ‘imposter’ turned out to be the True One."

Venti furrows his eyebrows. "Huh." New information seems to solve a riddle in his mind. When he speaks next, it's more to himself then anyone else, "I suppose that'd make sense why I'm not able to pinpoint their aura." He then speaks to Jean, “So what did you do?”

It wasn’t a question filled with judgement towards her. The tone of his voice was bubbly, as always, and filled with genuine curiosity—though, Jean could feel the concern rise in his words. 

“I am not certain what happened before they reached Mondstadt,” she starts to pile the events in her mind and decides to soften the blow, “–but, ‘the Creator’ seemingly appeared out of no where at the gates. No one, aside from Kaeya and Albedo, were able to sense their aura. If the two tell the truth, Kaeya sent the Creator to Dragonspine when chaos began to rise within the headquarters, and only a day later, the Creator disappeared without a trace once more.”

Diluc adds to her story, “When I spoke with Eula and Kaeya, they believed they had seen a second Albedo before the Creator disappeared.” He hesitates for a moment, “Could this be related? Or could everything be explained with malfunctioning ley lines?”

Jean watches as Venti taps his fingers against the armrest. He slings his legs up and down and nods to himself. “This is certainly a first for me as well. Sure, the Creator has some magnificent powers, but I still can’t explain why they’d appear so suddenly, not to mention the strange events surrounding their descent.”

He opens his eyes and stares into the window behind Jean. There is an odd expression on his face, one that she can’t read.

Venti's next words are once again in a bubbly tone, the earlier melancholy washed away by newfound determination. “Seems like it’s our task to uncover what exactly is going on!” Venti jumps up and reaches for the wine bottle and glasses. “One thing I’m sure of is that you met the real Creator. Now, we just need to find out where they disappeared to.”

Diluc mutters in a tired tone, “That sounds easier said than done.”

Venti shrugs. “Last time we teamed up, we solved the mystery of Dvalin. I’m confident we’ll solve this mystery as well! In the meantime, I’ll be pulling my own strings. If I happen to find a clue, you’re the first ones to know.”

He winks at Jean, and the stress morphs into resolve. It’s awfully frustrating to have all these events happen without her ever being present. All the clues she has, are told by other people. If she wanted to find the Creator, she will have to rely on the other people in this room. 

When the Archon leaves with a wave, she sends a small one back. 

“So.” Diluc crosses his arms, “What are you going to do?”

Jean averts her eyes before she finds his gaze again. “We cannot ask Kaeya for help. At least not while he’s recovering.”

From the short distance in the room, Jean hears Diluc release a frustrated sigh. “I’ll try to ask my own contacts and see if they’ve seen anything out of the ordinary. However, I believe it’s best to keep this between us three.”Diluc rubs his temple. “If this information falls into the wrong hands, who knows what they’ll do. The Creator has been gone for five centuries. Whatever is happening now, it can’t be good.”

In the corner of her eye, Jean sees Lisa nod in agreement. She, too, agrees with Diluc. Jean nods. “Then we’ll wait for your return.” When the brunette faces turns her head, Jean speaks directly to her. “Can you keep an eye on Kaeya for now? I don’t think he’ll do anything to our disadvantage, but I have a feeling he won’t give up on finding the Creator once he’s better.”

“Of course.”

Lisa lets out a warm chuckle, a sound that suggests she's concealing her own thoughts and opinions on the matter—something she’ll likely share once Diluc has left. 

“Alright then.” Diluc purses his lips and gives Jean a firm nod. “I’ll keep in touch.”

“Be safe, Master Diluc.” Jean calls out to him as he closes the door. Although the situation is less than comfortable, she feels safer knowing she can trust on the people around her. 

And so, she waits—until one of her three confidants have found a lead.

When Jean received a letter from Diluc only a day later with an urgent request to meet up, Jean felt her life shatter at her feet. Time seemed to pass antagonisingly slow as she waited for Diluc. In the end, it took only a few hours for him to arrive at her office—it really hadn’t made sense for her to worry as much as she did. Still, the urgency he noted in his letter made her feel off about the whole meeting.

Diluc never sits down in the chair across from Jean. A habit, or perhaps he felt too awkward, and considering he had a past with the Knights of Favonius—the latter made more sense. Either way, Jean is forced to follow his pacing form shift around the room. Without Lisa, the atmosphere between the two was more relaxed, and Diluc is able to speak more freely.

“I’m planning on visiting Liyue myself. Because of the wine industry, I could enter the city on business terms even with the lockdown.” Diluc speaks his thoughts out loud, and the words are said as a statement. He never directly asks for Jean’s opinion or her approval, which he doesn’t need, but it still makes her feel out of control.

Jean clears her throat as subtly as she can before easing into the one sided conversation of Diluc which started after he told her about Rex Lapis' passing. “Why don’t you take one of the Knights?“

She would have offered to go herself, but with her title, she was bound to Mondstadt. She watches Diluc abruptly stop as she pulls him out of his train of thoughts. His eyes sharpen for a moment, eyebrows lowering, and his mouth opens before quickly changing his mind and relaxing when his eyes meet hers. 

He hangs his head low and sighs. “I’d rather not.“

“Diluc,“ He looks up when she calls out his name, “I don’t doubt your strengths, but with the return of the Creator and the death of an Archon, this problem might be beyond our own limits. We should not act hastily.”

His face sours again. “You’re right, and it’s exactly why I won’t let some rookie Knight waddle into Liyue without any knowledge of what’s happening. Whoever you’re thinking of sending, he’ll only burden me.”

Jean purses her lips together, not missing the words he chose. Even without communicating, the two had been thinking about the same person.

He speaks again, “I need you to stay here and keep watch of Mondstadt while I’m gone. I’ll be leaving in a few days after I’ve gotten everything in order.” He crosses his arms, eyes softening despite the serious expression on his face, “I will contact you if I know more.”

Hopeless and without power, she watches Diluc exit as fiercely as he had entered her office. Nowadays, it seemed common for him to stir fires and leave as he unknowingly lets them fester into an inferno.

It had seemed so easy and petty to send her own battalion of Knights while Diluc was still preparing for the trip, but she knew he was right. Only a few people were suited to go to Liyue, and Diluc was one of the two.

The warm steam of the tea in front of Jean swirls upwards and around the room, spreading a soft floral scent that relaxes her despite the stress that she should be feeling. Lisa, who sits across from her, smiles as she watches the tension elevate from Jean’s shoulders. While it wasn’t uncommon for her to bring in tea for the Acting Grand Master, it was uncommon for Jean to nearly doze off in the comfort. 

“Oh dear,” Lisa puts her hand in front of her mouth in a cheeky motion, “If anyone were to enter they’d surely think we’d be slacking off.”

A frustrated sigh escapes Jean’s lips and the tension returns to her body. “I doubt anyone would. They’re all still in the belief of the era of peace. The worst reports I’ve been getting as of late consist of inebriated citizens making too much noise after dark or cats being stuck on roofs.” 

Lisa can’t help the chuckle escape her lips. Sometimes it felt like she enjoyed seeing people twist and turn in discomfort, but Jean knew better. 

“Have you gotten any news on Kaeya?”

The brunette brings her teacup to her lips before setting it down again. “It’s hard to tell what he is actually thinking, but he seems to be back to normal. Earlier today, I saw him enter Angel’s Share.”

“What…?” Jean sits upright and raises an eyebrow. “This early? Isn’t he supposed to patrol until the evening? Has anyone taken over his shift?”

Calm and collected as always, Lisa pushes the porcelain cup in Jean’s direction, a silent reminder for her to relax once more. “It’ll be alright. The abyss order is no longer a problem, and we shouldn’t act like there is one either.” She tilts her head, and a strand of brown hair falls onto her cheek, “For the people it is important to see the Grand Master at ease.”

“Acting— ” Jean mutters out, “Acting Grand Master.”

The tea in front of her has cooled down to a comfortable temperature, and she brings it up to her lips. It had been a couple of days since she had gotten proper sleep and regular meals. Perhaps Lisa had been right, but with Diluc leaving the city tomorrow, she continues to feel restless. 

With only Lisa in the room, Jean lets her body slack in the chair. Papers that were due had been pushed to the corners of her desk, making place for the two, now empty, cups of tea. There was so much to do, but everything felt insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

These moments of silence are the only thing keeping her sane, and she appreciates how Lisa seems to gift it to her every day. If the world were more forgiving, it’d given her more time to rest, alas everyone seems to enter her office in a whirlwind nowadays.

As the door is slammed open, Jean fumbles to make herself look presentable. 

Out of all people...

“Kaeya?!” 

The Cavalry Captain skips any greeting and goes straight to the point as he closes the door behind him. “I have some valuable information.” He walks closer, standing upright next to Lisa, who seems too immersed in her book to acknowledge him. He continues, “I know it might seem like a false rumor, useless gossip—if you may,” His voice falters for a second, his smile falling before reappearing, “but if the news is true, it’d give us an edge.”

Lisa continues to hold her book up, but Jean can see how her eyes have moved up. While she appears unbothered, she is most certainly curious about this tidbit.

Jean watches him carefully. “What news?”

He leans in closer, his voice lower, careful. “Some Fatui were talking about the passing of the Geo Archon.”

From the inside, Jean feels a wave of relief washes over her. When he had entered the room in such an unsuspecting way, she had expected yet another big problem to be shoved into her lap. 

She crosses her legs and inhales sharply as she looks up at him. “We know.”

“You know?” His expression turns into genuine shock, something many people will never see on Kaeya’s face. 

From the corner of Jean’s eye, she can see Lisa resist a chuckle. “I assume you didn’t get this information from the streets? Say, what were you doing in Angel’s share during work hours?” Her forest green eyes move up to him and he dramatically puts a hand on his hip. 

“Gathering intel, as you heard. Though, it seems to be old intel for you.”

Kaeya leans his hand onto Lisa’s chair before he shifts his weight once more. He tries to hide it, but with the confirmation of the intel being true, he is filled with more questions than answers. And instead of asking any, he dances around it.

“I know you don’t believe me, really, I don’t blame you.” He stops for a moment, putting his hand on his chest, “But now with the death of Rex Lapis? Something must be wrong.”

Jean remembers that he still believes that he and Albedo are the only ones to feel the Creator’s aura, and thus their identity. If he hadn’t acted on his own earlier—had he known about Venti—she might’ve told him. 

Before she can do anything, Lisa swiftly acts out and calls out her name. Jean hums, listening to what follows, “Perhaps it would be time to send a diplomat to assess the situation in Liyue,” and the reasoning she gives afterward forces Jean into a corner. 

Kaeya, too, joins in to further pressure her. It is after Lisa continues to push Jean, suggesting to send him, that she finally gives in—hoping her beloved librarian has more than an impulse in mind. 

“Okay,” Jean watches Kaeya’s eye brighten, “but you need to take Diluc with you.” 

The smile on his face falters. ”Diluc, really?”

”He was the one who told me about Liyue’s predicament, and he is more than capable of handling situations like these.” 

Perhaps Lisa made the right move to push her in this direction. She still felt unsettled with Diluc leaving on his own. If Kaeya were to go with him, he’d be prevented from doing anything reckless by himself, and in return, Diluc would keep an close eye on Kaeya. 

While it might seem like a punishment to both, it would’ve been the best course of action for Jean. She watches as Kaeya starts to give in, uttering a ‘fine’ in agreement. 

With a lighter feeling in her chest knowing Diluc would at least not be alone, she asks Kaeya to keep contact, just like Diluc would. If she couldn’t investigate herself, she would have to rely on others, and two had been better than one in this case.

When Kaeya finally shuts the door, Jean looks back at Lisa who moves back into the chair across from her. When her bright eyes meet Jean, she is sent a warm smile. It is supposed to ease her, but doubt eventually settles in her mind regardless. 

“Did you really think it was wise to send him?” Jean hopes for a simple ‘yes’ in reply.

The librarian leans back into the chair, crossing her legs comfortably once she’s settled, and calmly sighing. “If he stays here, he’ll pry until he figures it out.” Lisa turns a finger in the air. “And I do believe Diluc would keep a close eye on him for us.”

Jean sighs. “Still…”

If there was something wrong, would Kaeya suffice with Diluc?

“Don’t worry so much,” Lisa places her hand over Jean’s. “We’ll figure out what’s going on.”

When a soft breeze enters her office, Jean is reminded of someone. 

“Have you heard anything of Venti?” Lisa asks. 

She shakes her head. “If what he said about his power still counts, it might take a while.”

If she thought too much about it, it seemed as if the world itself was trying to prevent its people from finding out what was true and what was not. 

“Should I brew some more tea?” Lisa asks at last. 

Jean nods, her previous thoughts forgotten in the wind. 

© intothegenshinworld. Do not copy, repost, translate or take heavy inspiration from my content. Thanks for reading.

[wordsnstuff]

Hi!

I have reached out to more people, but I'm still having problems with this, and I wanted to hear another opinion.

As a writer, do you have problems continuing a story once you hit a difficult scene?

Because I do, and honestly it's getting me frustrated at this point.

I have a good idea and a plot already done, but every time I hit a difficult scene I just get stuck, and can't write for weeks, sometimes months. I hardly even open the documents when it happens, and sometimes it comes right when I'm on a writing spree and being happy with my writing.

Do you have any advice on how to deal with this? How can I get past this issue and just keep writing more frequently?

I'd really like to hear it!

What do you do when you hit a snag?

When approaching this topic, the frustrating thing is that age-old advice has a lot of truth to it. Sometimes it is true that the best thing you can do when you're stuck is to stop struggling against the resistance and take a meaningful, intentional break to rest your mind and reset your thought process. Sometimes the key to getting started again is shaking up the routine and the altering the process until you find a new combination of habits that meet you where you are.

However, for a lot of us, the turmoil reaches deeper than that. A lot of people who do creative things are neurodivergent, so that has a place in the conversation when discussing what's preventing us from realizing our vision. Even if you don't identify with specific neurodivergence, there are a lot of tools and techniques that have been tried and tested for coping with immense, intrinsic difficulty with things like productivity, mindfulness, interoception, focus, and consistency. Just because these techniques are not specifically designated for you doesn't mean they won't be effective for you.

It is always a helpful exercise to take a step back and examine how you're feeling, both when you are writing and when you aren't, and try to identify any areas where you might be able to improve by changing things within your control.

When it comes to a specific scene holding you back from carrying on, I usually find that it's the result of a decision I made earlier in the plot that isn't serving the story as it continues to develop. I would take a chunk of time to take an analytical look at the scene, where it's come from, what is and isn't sparking in it (is the stagnation mostly due to the characters, events, environment, or lack of information, and is it a scene that is imperative to the reader's understanding?). A lot of the time, it's a scene that can be cut, or it's a scene that can be made redundant by infusing the necessary information of the scene into another place within the story.

If you've identified a scene as "a difficult scene", ask yourself why. If it's daunting because it's too long, then it can probably be cut way down and then added to later if while editing it seems a little thin. If it's challenging because things aren't falling into place and you aren't getting into a flow, then the set-up for the scene probably hasn't been developed effectively and you need to decide whether you're gonna go back in the draft to investigate or move on and return to it while editing.

If the information in the scene needs to be communicated at this specific point in the story, the problem might be the way you've chosen to present it. Pay attention to what your instincts are telling you, because pushing through a scene for the sake of getting past it will not produce a compelling scene to read. If you need to move past it, you have permission to do that. You can always come back and completely dig it up later.

Overall, I think it's very important to write with acceptance that the plot may not turn out the way you planned it. The process is much more effective and much more enjoyable if you aren't trudging along on a predestined path. If the characters and story develop outside of the lines, see where they go. You'll always have the opportunity to return to the outline and tailor later.

Best of luck,

x Kate