#it just requires a lot of writing and im a lazy writer lol

[head---ache]

Wow look is this the kind of abandoned but still beloved Shadow Creatures Au???!?!?!?!!! Yes it is!!!!!!! Rouge redesign because I kind of hated her last one and Shadow's social life evaporating completely!!!!!!! Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[n7punk]

i was going to describe something as a pet peeve but really it's just a let down lol and then it turned into a longpost but i gottaaaaa get this off my chest. anyway a big let down in romance writing (fic and published) is when the basis of the story is two total strangers meet for the first time and they're suddenly drawn to each other for no justifiable reason. you'll see this all the time in fic and it's supposed to be acceptable because we know the characters and know that they're perfect together, but it's lazy no mater the format unless you have a later plot point that actually justifies why they would feel such a pull towards each other.

like in a simple coffee shop au, it's inexplicable to be like "she's my favorite customer, i can't say why because she isn't different than any of my other customers, but i feel drawn to her." conversely, you could totally justify it by starting the story with "she's my favorite customer because one time i accidentally upcharged her and she pretended i didnt because she could see my manager within earshot and didn't want me to get in trouble" and that's a viable reason for a stranger to stick out that you can still establish in just one paragraph.

i feel like people don't want to make it attraction-based (it's a perfectly valid premise and the only actual reason strangers have ever asked me out because that's how it works) because it's not ~special~ and lacks deeper meaning, but, "i dont know why i just do" has no meaning! having a line like "i see attractive girls like her every single day but i feel weirdly drawn to her in particular" doesn't make it feel special, it feels unrealistic and dull, and for some reason these "magnetic pull" stories almost always include a line like this.

this is muddied by sometimes - very rarely - when you think a story opening with this kind of thing is bad and actually it's a smoking gun. maybe in a "the characters later realize they knew each other once" way, maybe in an "oh shit, we're both cursed by the same person and couldn't consciously figure out we're sensing the same magic energy from each other, now lets team up and take them down" way, maybe even in an "actually i really was just attracted to her but i'm so repressed i couldn't figure it out" way and at least you've learned something interesting about that character! i'm pulling stuff out of my ass here (clearly), but it could be a real plot point and the few times it is always make me doubt giving up on something that really isn't worth my time. plot stuff like this requires that your audience have some faith in your writing and are willing to stick around after they see the opening, though, and sometimes im not willing to do that even when a book comes recommended.

in fics it's a lot more low stakes and obviously, you can write whatever you want and whatever makes you happy (and honestly every writer should get one freebie on this kind of thing because writing is hard guys and sometimes you just want to write the shenanigans that come after and you don't owe anybody anything!) but i do think pushing yourself and your writing is good thing when you're up for it. we just don't always have to be up for it lol. anyway this is just a personal rant about stories that have disappointed me, not instructions for anyone to change the way they write to have fun

[nonclassyparty]

also please tell me that san "fucking up" in act 8 won't be him cheating on boyoung... if it's that kind of fucking up then there's truly no hope for him and he won't deserve y/n OR boyoung.

idk is it just me or do i hope for happy endings for all involved parties? i think y/n and mingi would be happy together, if they could get past their current feelings towards each other. because let me just say this, y/n and san don't belong together. it's one of those things where you just know two people aren't right for each other, they're not the one for each other. and i think that's where the heartbreak is coming for y/n, the fact that she desperately wants to be the one for san, but she's not. boyoung is.

i'm not sure what exactly is gonna transpire between the current act 3 and the letter y/n has written, but considering what you said about boyoung not being one to do anything wrong at all, i genuinely think that it's not fair for y/n to assume boyoung's got a superiority complex. if anything, y/n might just be projecting her own complex. i know this story is supposed to be mainly focused on y/n, but i think boyoung has a lot of potential and room for growth/development. maybe now she's all timid and shy, but i really do hope she can learn to grow into a more confident person that doesn't allow bullshit from anyone, including y/n. i just think a story is more interesting when every character is fleshed out really well. i also hope boyoung learns that she deserves more than what san can offer her (i'm guessing his fuck-up in act 8 might still have something to do with boyoung, which is why y/n mentioned in the letter that they were broken up), and i hope that san understands what a good thing he has, and doesn't let his past get in the way of his future. i truly do hope they can be happy together, regardless of what y/n and her vanilla-sex hating ass might think.

if it seems like i'm harping on y/n too much, my apologies 😭 i don't truly think i'm on anyone's side tbh, my only wish is that each major player get the character development they deserve, including y/n. i think you're a really capable writer and i'm excited to see what comes next!

there will be no cheating because he really does have feelings for boyoung 😭

also boyoung IS insecure. while writing this story, i really tried to make her be the most stereotypically shy, timid, sweet good girl she can possibly be to fit the overused trope and most of them have major confidence issues. and sure, she might have things going on that we dont know about but i personally dont care much 😭. if i open wattpad and go through the good girl/player trope, any backstory of the female oc will fit as boyoung's backstory as well and since in act 3 san let yn know how he actually felt about her and she'll sort of back off from him (and im not saying give up on him completely but she'll be focusing on other things in her life)- there will be no need for me to work on boyoung more since yn wont have any altercations with her that would require boyoung to have any character development (it might sound lazy but im personally just bored of her character so i dont want to spend more time on her than i have to 😭)

i think the letter sorta led all of you in the wrong direction which is definitely my fault since im the one who wrote it but its going to be fun when you guys find out whats ACTUALLY going to happen lol

[the-francakes]

c h r i s (:

C: What character do you identify with most?

idk chris you tell me. uh probably hermione in the virgo know-it-all detail oriented logical mindset i have. though the way i write draco is basically me with how sarcastic, untrusting, completely over it, and ready to be run over by the hogwarts express he is.

H: How would you describe your style?

comfortable: leggings and a t-shirt or crewneck/hoodie. both at home and for work. at home i just wanna be comfortable and lazy, at work im running around and its super relaxed/casual. the only requirement is wearing all black most days but i like black so i wear it at home a lot too. i think i have like 15 pairs of black leggings at this point.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

not longterm really? i dunno. i think im a bit of a sponge so if i read something that i like, i bring it into my writing or try to emulate it. theres no one i would be like THIS WRITER tho. in fandom, screenwriting, or books.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

idk. probably not. procrastinating and playing the sims instead of doing either LOL

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

opposites attract, enemies to lovers, but also i try not to read them if im writing them? so i resist a lot haha. my cousin is always like yOU HAVENT READ THAT ONE YET?! and im like no sorry not until im done writing this damn wip

[codedredalert]

this might be odd but i really admire your work for law in that op zine and was wondering how you'd manage to come across zines to apply for because it's hard to filter through results on twt and hard to find exactly who is doing what

hey anon, thank you so much! i'm really happy with how that law fic turned out, glad you like it!

not odd at all, i agree it's hard to filter zines! let's see if i can help. this got a bit long bc i misread the question and talked about finding zines to apply for as well as generally what i keep in mind when choosing what zines i apply to so im putting it under a cut

best generally / for fandoms you're already deep in/ fandoms you're less invested in and just happen to think are neat if they pop up. for the op tarot zine, and most zines i applied to/ got into, usually i heard about via word of mouth. so that's reblogs of the promo posts or casual mentions from people I follow, or discord servers, or just chats with friends in that fandom. i like this method because it's the lowest effort and highest likelihood of matching my interests and having the apps still open, and they tend to be a little more reliable bc you already have one layer of someone checking them out/ vouching for them. (but bear in mind i'm also someone who mostly only reads recommended fics from friends whose taste i'm familiar with)

second best/ new fandoms/ fandoms you're not established in. here we have to actually search (boooooo) (i'm lazy lol). you can still use the first method a little bit by searching on the page/blog of a creator you like in that fandom, because that helps filter a bit for interests/ style/ taste/ reliability. i also searched [fandom name] zine or variations. so like "#ygozine" or"yugioh zine" when I was looking for yugioh zines to join. then i consider the application open ones to see if i like the theme, and whether the other details work for me (eg amount of work expected, schedule, rules, faqs, charity/profit, mods, physical/digital only etc).

zine promo / app amalgamation sites. it's pretty easy to find them by looking at existing zines promo posts and seeing the amalgamation blogs/accounts they tag. i don't really use them that much so i can't really recommend specific ones, and the ones i know don't sort easily by fandom or deadline stage, so it's too much work for me personally. i might browse them a little to try my luck but it's the highest effort for the lowest reward. still worth a shot if you can define your search terms well or are willing to trawl. I'd try by just searching the fandom confined to the blog/page. (on tumblr you can do this by adding "/search/[fandom name or shortname]" to the end of the URL.)

very established in a fandom/ willing to ask randomly. you might get invited or someone might drop you an ask saying hey check this zine out they're looking for writers/ other types of creators. you can also just do a general post asking for help like "does anyone know of any zines for [fandom] that are open to apps?" personally and from what i gather from friends, just because they're recommendations doesn't mean that they will necessarily match what you look for in projects but they're worth checking out bc the person recommending usually has some idea of your likes/style/fit. this method has a lot of constraints obviously.

when applying... it may be worthwhile to consider why you're interested in joining, what they are looking for, how many slots they have for what kind of creators, how popular the zine is, what you "specialise" in for the fandom, what your best skills are, what the mods might be looking for (most if not all zines require you to submit sample work). tailor your application. of course, not all zines take writers so your options here might be a little limited (though i'm happy to say i feel like including writing is becoming more common). at the same time, a lot of people underestimate themselves, so definitely apply if you want to even if you feel you might not get in. i think this is probably not what you're asking about though so i wont belabour the point

be careful. i have had the good fortune to have only been in "okay" to "amazing 10/10 extremely trustworthy" zines so far (fingers crossed), but i do have a couple of friends who were burned by dishonest or unreliable zine management before, so do take care! you can save yourself a lot of heartache at the stage when you check out the zine you are applying to. some general indicators for me are whether mod skills cover necessary categories (zines are essentially a business venture and i feel like a lot of people underestimate or do not give enough respect to that); mod experience, age, personal reputations; how questions, rules, schedule, expectations, compensation/charity are addressed. Also these are after joining, but mod treatment of contributors via email or in the discord server and how assignments are handled are early enough that you can form your own assessment and drop if necessary.

take care of yourself also i feel like in these trying times i want to add a note on mental health. i see this too often in my friends, but if your personal circumstances change and you feel like you can't handle the zine obligations anymore, just drop. early is better than late for both you and the organiser, and respectful communication of "sorry i can't be part of the zine anymore for personal reasons" is totally fine. you don't have to disclose anything you don't want to in order to leave and no one can force you to. it's also okay if you don't get into a zine. it doesn't say anything about your worth as a person, even though we as creators can feel rejection of our work very deeply. take time to recover, block/mute/unfollow whatever keywords or accounts you have to for even the tiniest of arbitrary reasons (i absolutely do and highly recommend it), take time to nurture your skills, take time to make things that bring joy, take time to appreciate yourself and the people who like your work. maybe i'm just old/lucky but fandom has been an incredibly accepting and enjoyable place and rejection from a zine (though it can hurt like a bitch sometimes) is not rejection from the community.

i hope this was helpful!

[dangoghz]

legitimate advice for new phandom blogs

hey !! so i know sometimes posts like ‘RULES FOR THE PHANDOM XD’ are made and they’re all like “numba one. dan is a squishy bean respect this uwu” but this isn’t gonna be like that lol. im just going to list a few actual things that might help people new to the phandom learn about and become integrated into the community! of course these aren’t ‘rules’ and u dont have to listen to any of it ofc,,, im not here to control ur blog, just here to say what people normally do. feel free to rb whether u are a new blog or not, ill appreciate it either way!

(NOTE: PLS TELL ME IF ANY OF THE LINKS DONT WORK AND ILL FIX THEM PERIODICALLY!)

italicized text is defined in the glossary at the bottom!

1. be interactive! 

here, unique to our corner of timmy darn communism, we have a lot of like virtual traditions that everyone knows. these help you to make friends and also grow ur blog with some new mutuals. here are some examples.

networks: networks, or nets, are a sort of selective gc, usually with a theme or concept that it’s based around, in which all who wish to be part of fill out an application form that determines whether they get in. this is kinda the one with the most work, as u also have to make a group blog and info post, but it’s definitely worth it. i have made my closest friends in nets (such as @phleurnet which i birthed), and a lot of people on here would say the same. if you want to know more or apply, my friend diana runs an update blog @phandomnets! (examples, these are all open btw: x x x)

meetups: meetups are not in real life, don’t worry. a meetup is when someone organizes a specific time at which we all post thing around a certain theme! for instance, on halloween on tuesday, my friend milo hosted a halloween meetup. usually people post selfies but if u are uncomfortable with that, u can post art, music, or anything else related to the theme. a blog called @phandommeetupwatch keeps track of these! (examples, all happening soon/just happened: x x x)

follow forevers: a follow forever is a big celebration post when u reach a follower count milestone, no matter 50 or 5k. u tag all of the blogs you love, and they reblog it to appreciate u! it’s really positive and shows people how their work has paid off. usually people are tagged in alphabetical order, and sometimes people bold their favorites but the stylization is up to u. (recent examples: x x x)

milestone activities: sometimes people do things for their followers when they reach a follower count that involves their followers requesting something! there are many many forms of this type of thing. a common one is blog rates, in which there is a set template and the blogger rates each blog that sends in an ask using the template (info post ex: x; rate ex: x). there are also url edits (x), name/url moodboards (x), and more. u can certainly come up w an idea of ur own, being creative is great!

talk to people: that’s right dude!!! ye!!! u can message a blog u think is cool, or send an ask if u think something they made or are talking about is interesting, or add something sweet in the tags (more on etiquette later) when u rb their post. additionally, sometimes people stir up discourse, and u should participate in it if u want (past discourse examples: x x). u can also send asks when people reblog ask games, which are a list of questions with a theme (new one of mine ex: x). 

2. play around with your blog!

customizing your blog can start giving you what we call a branding, making you distinguished from other bloggers. this can include everything from as simple as using an icon to coding your own about page. 

themes: a blog can be way more appealing if it is aesthetically pleasing. admittedly, i often follow people just because of the smoothness of their mobile theme. a mobile theme is rather easy to construct as u can do it on ur own with a phone. it is how ur blog looks on a phone. although u don’t have to do this, i recommend sticking to two to four colors on ur theme and avoiding stuffing it with a lot of bright things because it can distract from content. additionally, bloggers often make their descriptions short and succinct. (my fav mobiles: x x x.) on a pc, your blog theme can be customized completely on html, meaning there is a lot of freedom. u don’t have to learn to code for this, bc u can find free themes anywhere, just search ‘free tumblr themes’ on google. once again, be creative, but u shouldn’t overload. (my fav pcs: x x x.)

about pages: in order to avoid chunky descriptions but still let people know the key deets about themselves, bloggers create about pages. sometimes these bout pages are uncoded but u can also use html code if u want to. some common things in an about page are interests, maybe personality types/horoscopes/hogwarts houses, original content, and links to other social media. (examples: x x x)

urls: urls are a key part of your blog’s brand. ‘rebranding’ is what people say if they change their url! if u are tired or bored with your url, changing it is an opportunity to change your theme and other parts of ur blog as well. (url change ex: x). 

saved urls: saved urls are basically when bloggers hoard sideblogs in order to reserve the urls used for them. if you ever encounter a blank blog that has ‘saved’ as its title, that’s probably it. sometimes people like to give away their urls, either as a constant thing (ex: x) or by doing a url giveaway (x). either way, it’s a good opportunity to change it up!

tags: in order to keep their blog cleancut and organized, a lot of bloggers have special tags for certain people, certain topics, and/or certain types of media. many people in the phandom particularly have tags for dan and phil that match (strawberries and cream, lune and sole, etc). if they have many of these tags, there can be a page for their tags on their blog. this page can be coded with special html or just a regular tumblr page, it doesn’t really matter. but it’s very useful for those who visit your blog, and makes it easy for u to navigate older posts as well! (examples: x x x)

3. learn to make og content!

producing original content helps you establish what your strengths are and why people should follow you. it also allows u to contribute to the fanbase, and gives u a chance of being noticed by dnp! and the validation is lovely. there are many options if u want to make something. 

gifs: gifs are an ART here in the phandom, and its mechanisms still perplex me to this day bc ive never tried it. u probably already know what a gif is, but if not, its essentially a short animation made in photoshop that repeats. gifmakers are often distinguished by a unique coloring (example gifmakers: x x x), such as my friend emily’s smooth dark blue tint (x). it can be a long process to learn how to gif but it is very rewarding in the end, from what i’ve heard. (tutorials: x x)

art: there is a very wide range of phanartists, all with such talents, either digital or traditional, that you can draw inspirations from for your own work. you can make cartoons, comics, realism, abstract, nsfw even, or any mix (or none) of the former. artists on tumblr definitely deserve more attention than they get here on tumblr, so be sure to show appreciation towards them! (my fav artists: x x x)

edits: edits are the Graphic Designs of our community and are usually very aesthetically pleasing. they can be centered around a certain event, like a video or something dnp made, or just for fun. the more practice you get making them, the more dexterous u’ll become. they can be a great tool if u like the design aspect of art but don’t want to actually draw. (edit makers: x x)

icons: icons are just the little profile picture that u can insert for ur blog. it’s really easy and fun to make them, kind of like a lazy version of edits. you can make them using photoshop or an app like picsart or medibang, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. more on how to use icons in section 4. (examples: x x x) (my lil tutorial: x)

moodboards: moodboards are nine pictures arranged 3 by 3 that have a certain color scheme. it’s kind of like a collage except the photo feature here separates the pictures for u. there are a lot of innovative moodboard makers that stun me w how pretty it looks or how they arrange the pics. moodboards are also an easy and fun option! (moodboard tags: x x x)

textposts: this is by far the easiest and more common form of content u will find. it’s just writing about dnp in a textpost! if a textpost isn’t very serious, people also call it a meme or shitpost. shitposting is defs on the rise here so its a good business to get into. it’s also a great outlet for ur emotions or personal connections to what dnp do! (example talk tags: x x x)

fics: by far the most famous media to come out of here, phanfiction is a popular form of phan indulgence. u have probably heard of the most scarring ones (list: x), but there is actually a really vast range of it, not just creepy smut! some other genres are fluff, angst, and slow burns. u will discover that, despite the sterotype, not all fanfiction is bad. you can find lovely fics on @phanfictioncatalogue by genre, au, or topic. and, if u need help writing something, many writers would love to help. (a few well-known fics: x x x x x)

4. tumblr etiquette!

i know tumblr might seem like a simple social media (or perhaps not after u’ve read all the above?) but there’s a lot of things that u just....u just don’t do. it’s sort of like virtual manners, and if u don’t follow them, then it’s unlikely that people will like ur blog. once again, this is by no means me forcing u to run ur blog a certain way. it just happens that the types of ppl who break these rules are who we mock in gcs :////////. so yea, here’s some advice.

credits: if u decide to use someone’s art, edit, gif, or icon on the theme of ur blog, check what they require of u before u use it. most content creators strongly ask for credit in the description of ur blog, either by link or like ‘icon/header/art by ____’. it is just a common courtesy to the person who spent time on that, and if u think credit will ruin the aesthetic of ur blog, a) u probably don’t have an aesthetic in the first place and b) learn to appreciate art, binch. 

anonymity: anon asks can be very powerful either negatively or positively depending on how u yield them, so make sure that u are careful with what u send. compliments are always welcome and criticism as well, but blatant rudeness or hate will do nothing. u will only make someone feel bad about themselves and it will not accomplish anything. also, u face the threat of all their friends turning u into a meme. 

sensitivity: a lot of people here are way too easily offended by harmless jokes, a common example in the phandom being when we insult dnp affectionately and people take it way too much to heart. please don’t start drama over something w no real meaning. however, there are times when it is indeed necessary. if u want to criticise a blogger, be respectful of them simultaneously. by all means, if u spot someone being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, or the like, feel free to call them out on it. but beforehand, make sure that u have done ur research and are educated on the topic, or u could turn out to be blatantly wrong. 

adding to posts: everyone makes this mistake when they start out here and that’s totally okay, but adding to every post u reblog is incredibly bothersome. a rule of thumb would be don’t add anything unless what u say will actually improve the post significantly. if ur additions are along the lines of ‘LOL’ or ‘i relate!!!!’ or ‘philly is a smol bean XD’, learn to use the tags for heaven’s sake. they’re there for not only organization but also for commenting. some exceptions, though, would be if u are mentioned in the post or the op is your close friend. 

respecting privacy: this should already be obvious to u, but respect dan and phil’s boundaries. do not tag them or their main tags (#daniel howell, #danisnotonfire, #amazingphil), in any phanfics, phanart (like specifically with them as a romantic ship), or phan edits. do not talk to their family members, expose their personal info like address or phone number, and do consider that they are real people just like u. we may make things based around phan, but it is kept in a community for us and not for dan and phil’s eyes. this is very important.

5. have fun!

sorry if this is all overwhelming, but i tried to make it as simplified as possible. and also sorry for the sass, i’m kinda tired of all the ding dongs on here and want to prevent further ding dongs from being created. thanks so much for readin and be sure to send me an ask anytime if u have questions! welcome to hell!

glossary

timmy darn communism: me being my usual weird self and replacing ‘tumblr dot com’ with random words that start with the same letters

mutuals: someone who you follow and who follows you; usually who u interact with most

rb: shortening for ‘reblog’

discourse: when theres is intense discussion of a certain topic, sometimes phan-related sometimes not, sometimes serious and sometimes silly

branding: the word ‘branding’ kinda started as a joke, but it’s generally what we use to call what someone’s blog reminds them of, whether it be a certain color or a discussion topic; my branding, if u asked a mutual, would probably be impressionism, tea, and baguettes (dont ask ab that one)

html: a simple type of coding used for designing websites! u can learn basic html here or here, it’s way easier and funner than it looks

dnp: dan and phil; we also say ‘deppy’, ‘dip and pip’, ‘the boys’, ‘the rats’, and more

coloring: basically the stylization of a gif, shown through filters, textures, contrast, brightness, etc. 

talk tag: a tag in which all of the textposts that a person makes are sorted into

phanfiction terms

smut: porn fic :/ 

fluff: just what it sounds like, a type of fic that usually has a lot of soft stuff like cuddling, flirting, and looooove

angst: a fic with a lot of drama, usually sad or very emotional

slow burn: a fic where a pairing, in this case phan, slowly falls in love

au: stands for ‘alternate universe’, a fic in which dan and phil are written not as youtubers but in a completely different scenario (ie. bad boy and new guy in high school, university students, space exhibition, anything u can dream up really)

anon: short for ‘anonymous’

op: short for ‘original poster’, aka who made the post

[avocadolouie]

soooo @hrrytomlinson and @wubwubnparmaham decided to be hoes and tag me in the fic writers ranking their fics thing and even though I'm soooo lazy and this is taking all of my energy haha. I'm doing this only because lauren is practically holding me at gun point...so.....

1. fake it till you make it 

its my longest fic and i love it the most because of how random and absolutely ridiculous it is! like i was inspired to write it because of that time when liam referred to them as brothers and louis was instantly sooooo triggered haha and i was like harry and louis pretending to be brothers would be like TOO FUNNY so anyway i had looooaaddddssss of fun thinking of the most awkward and embarrassing and wild scenarios and it was a BLAST 😅

2. all i wish not to remember 

with this fic i literally broke my own damn heart. its inspired by my all time favorite piece of literature, the count of monte cristo, and its just non stop angst and sadness and unfortunate times. this one required a lot of personal introspection about life and what it means to love someone and anyways i really love how it came out even though it broke me rip

3. too real to fake it

a fic with literally no reason to exist except to be the kid fic i always wanted to write lol. its the sequel to fake it till you make it, so its just as wild and lame and stupid as its predecessor. i love picturing h and l as parents and there honestly aren't enough kid fics so this was my attempt to rectify that. i still think about their kids in this fic and wish they were mine lmao

4. escape (the piña colada au)

my shortest fic and an angsty little ode to the wonderful and timeless escape (the piña colada song) {btw look how creative i was with the title haha jk} anyways this fic wasn't meant to be sad but I'm a hoe for suffering so its actually pretty sad and unfortunate but its just how i interpreted the song in a real life kind of way

5. all we can do is keep breathing (unpublished)

 this could end up being my absolute favorite of all my fics when i finally finish it but its going to be really sad and heartbreaking. its similar to all i wish not to remember in that sense (lets just say any fic i write that starts with the word “all” is going to be painful), but its a pretty intricate plot and i have tons of work to do to get the dynamics right still, but I'm working! i don't even want to give anything away about it yet because its still such a young babe of a story. but its like 60k right now and its not even half way rip so theres that. wish me luck! :)

ok so im not gonna tag anyone because i think?? all of my writer friends have been tagged?? if not?? you can absolutely do this and tag me! thanks to everyone who ever supported my work evveerrr, i love you all  ✨🌻

WAT!! @miniature-lou 👀 jodie whats good 

[tortuga-aak]

10 things every college professor hates

Getty Images/Kevork Djansezian

I got this email from an Ivy League student when I arrived to give a speech. She was responsible for making sure that I was delivered to my hotel and knew where to go the next day:

Omg you’re here! Ahh i need to get my s--t together now lol. Jk. Give me a ring when u can/want, my cell is [redacted]. I have class until 1230 but then im free! i will let the teacher she u will be there, shes a darling. Perhaps ill come to the end of the talk and meet you there after. Between the faculty lunch and your talk, we can chat! ill take make sure the rooms are all ready for u. See ya!

To say the least, this did not make me feel confident that my visit would go smoothly.

I will use this poor student to kick off this year’s list of Professors’ Pet Peeves. I reached out to my network and collected some things that really get on instructors’ nerves. Here are the results: some of the “don’ts” for how to interact with your professor or teaching assistant. For what it’s worth, No. 2 was by far the most common complaint.

1. Don’t use unprofessional correspondence.

Your instructors are not your friends. Correspond with them as if you’re in a workplace, because you are. We’re not saying that you can’t ever write like this, but you do need to demonstrate that you know when such communication is and isn’t appropriate. You don’t wear pajamas to a job interview, right? Same thing.

2. Don’t ask the professor if you “missed anything important” during an absence.

No, you didn’t miss anything important. We spent the whole hour watching cats play the theremin on YouTube!

Of course you missed something important! We’re college professors! Thinking everything we do is important is an occupational hazard. Here’s an alternative way to phrase it: “I’m so sorry I missed class. I’m sure it was awesome.”

If you’re concerned about what you missed, try this instead: Do the reading, get notes from a classmate (if you don’t have any friends in class, ask the professor if they’ll send an email to help you find a partner to swap notes with), read them over, and drop by office hours to discuss anything you didn’t understand.

3. Don’t pack up your things as the class is ending.

We get it. The minute hand is closing in on the end of class, there’s a shift in the instructor’s voice, and you hear something like “For next time …” That’s the cue for the students to start putting their stuff away. Once one person does it, it’s like an avalanche of notebooks slapping closed, backpack zippers zipping, and cell phones coming out.

Don’t do it.

Just wait 10 more seconds until the class is actually over. If you don’t, it makes it seem as if you are dying to get out of there and, hey, that hurts our feelings!

4. Don’t ask a question about the readings or assignments until checking the syllabus first.

It’s easy to send off an email asking your instructor a quick question, but that person put a lot of effort into the syllabus for a reason. Remember, each professor has dozens or hundreds of students. What seems like a small thing on your end can add up to death-by-a-thousand-paper-cuts on our end. Make a good-faith effort to figure out the answer before you ask the professor.

5. Don’t get mad if you receive critical feedback.

If an instructor takes a red pen and massacres your writing, that’s a sign that they care. Giving negative feedback is hard work, so the red ink means that we’re taking an interest in you and your future. Moreover, we know it’s going to make some students angry with us. We do it anyway because we care enough about you to try to help you become a stronger thinker and writer. It’s counterintuitive, but lots of red ink is probably a sign that the instructor thinks you have a lot of potential.

6. Don’t grade grub.

Definitely go into office hours to find out how to study better or improve your performance, but don’t go in expecting to change your instructor’s mind about the grade. Put your energy into studying harder on the next exam, bringing your paper idea to the professor or teaching assistant in office hours, doing the reading, and raising your hand in class. That will have more of a payoff in the long run.

7. Don’t futz with paper formatting.

Paper isn’t long enough? Think you can make the font a teensy bit bigger or the margins a tad bit wider? Think we won’t notice if you use a 12-point font that’s just a little more widely spaced? Don’t do it. We’ve been staring at the printed page for thousands of hours. We have an eagle eye for these kinds of things. Whatever your motivation, here’s what they say to us: “Hi Prof!, I’m trying to trick you into thinking that I’m fulfilling the assignment requirements. I’m lazy and you’re stupid!” Work on the assignment, not the document settings.

8. Don’t pad your introductions and conclusions with fluff.

Never start off a paper with the phrase, “Since the beginning of time …” “Since the beginning of time, men have engaged in war.” Wait, what? Like, the big bang? And, anyway, how the heck do you know? You better have a damn strong citation for that! “Historically,” “Traditionally,” and “Throughout history” are equally bad offenders. Strike them from your vocabulary now.

In your conclusion, say something smart. Or, barring that, just say what you said. But never say: “Hopefully someday there will be no war.” Duh. We’d all like that, but unless you’ve got ideas as to how to make it that way, such statements are simple hopefulness and inappropriate in an academic paper.

9. Don’t misrepresent facts as opinions and opinions as facts.

Figure out the difference. Here’s an example of how not to represent a fact, via CNN:

Considering that Clinton’s departure will leave only 16 women in the Senate out of 100 senators, many feminists believe women are underrepresented on Capitol Hill.

Wait. Feminists “believe”? Given that women are 51% of the population, 16 out of 100 means that women are underrepresented on Capitol Hill. This is a social fact, yeah? Now, you can agree or disagree with feminists that this is a problem, but don’t suggest, as CNN does, that the fact itself is an opinion.

This is a common mistake, and it’s frustrating for both instructors and students to get past. Life will be much easier if you know the difference.

10. Don’t be too cool for school.

You know the student who sits at the back of the class, hunches down in his or her chair, and makes an art of looking bored? Don’t be that person. Professors and teaching assistants are the top 3% of students. They most likely spent more than a decade in college. For better or worse, they value education. To stay on their good side, you should show them that you care, too. And, if you don’t, pretend as if you do.

 NOW WATCH: 'Shark Tank' star Barbara Corcoran: How I went from a 10-kid household and more than 20 jobs to become a real estate mogul

from Feedburner http://ift.tt/AzuLz2