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‷ Aemond Targaryen x F!Reader
{ CHAPTER I ; LOST & FOUND. }
You save a man from drowning and he claims he's Prince Aemond Targaryen who you know died in 130AC, surely he's just crazy, right?
Warnings: f&b spoilers, nothing too triggering really, reader thinks he's gone bonkers, fake dates, 1024 is basically 2024 + not proof read.
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He felt Vhagars body giving up beneath him, her poor wings too exhausted to hold up her own weight to fly anymore as they battled, her croaks as she struggled to breathe fire onto the enemy before him.
His uncle, Daemon targaryen.
Aemond is sweating, he had been waiting all his life for this moment- to fight his uncle and at last his dream came true because of the witch he had taken in.
It was an open trap.
She envisioned that he'd win the battle, that he'd be alive.
That was a lie.
âDracarys!â Daemon yelled distantly the fire being spit out by Caraxes, Vhagarâ in a final attempt at protecting her rider, shielded Aemond with her wings, but that sudden movement caused Aemond to lose hold on her reins, His body falling down from the dragon's.
He only realised the lie as he fell through the skies, piercing through the wind at an intense speed as the dragons continued to fight before him.
Nonetheless he had no other choice but to accept his death, and so he did.
The waters welcomed him as if they had been waiting for him, he felt his life slowly slip away just like his sister had predicted that he would die, he closed his eye, just accepting his own fate, hoping that at least he'd find peace in the after life, or maybe he wouldn't; maybe he'd suffer in hell, after all he hurt many innocent people.
âYou were swallowed up in God's eye, never to be seen again.â Helaena's words rung through his head, voice clear as day, feeling more suffocating than the water he's drowning in.
Just as Aemond's mind was reeling through the possibility, he felt a gust of air which made him breathe on reflex as he was pulled up by someone. He opened his eye in surprise.
He was⊠alive?
Someone saved him? Was it Alys? Was her prophecy right?
Many questions ran through his mind as he adjusted to his vision, but it was then he realised that he didn't recognise this place. Neither did he recognize you.
âSir! Are you okay?!â You ask in a panic at the man who almost drowned before you. You were just taking a walk nearby the lake when you saw bubbles floating up to the surface with a silhouette of a man below, you immediately jumped in; knowing how to swim and ended up saving this man's life.
You took a note of his attire, noting that it might be very old fashioned style, perhaps he liked the medieval aesthetic? His shiny locks clung onto his clothes.
He coughed, water spurting out from his mouth and nose as his body desperately tried to get rid of the liquid that he drowned in. Aemond stared at the ground in shock.
His careful eye took note of the surroundings that were around him. Tall buildings that had square openings that shone brightly, even during what was supposed to be called a nighttime.
Quite frankly, it hurt his eye, the lights blaring into his cornea. He shut in reflex, not adjusted to whatever place he was at. You watched in silence as he sat up completely. His clothes were sticking to his body in an uncomforting manner.
âWhere am I?â He asks, his face and tone sharp, behavior notwithstanding someone that was just drowning mere moments ago. âUh? We're currently at God's eye lake.â You reply, not wanting to be too judgemental.
âGod's eye? Where's Harrenhal?â He asks and you laugh at the mention of that place. âYou mean the old castle? Yeah that was towed down years ago, they tried reconstructing it but weird incidents occurred, now that area is nothing but a memory.â You inform him.
âThis doesn't look like God's eye.â He states out loud, taking in the difference in sight, a few boats floating on top of the waters, tied to a ledge, they did not look like the wooden boats.. They seem like they were made of steel. His eye widens. âMetal floats on water now? What is this sorcery?â He exclaims.
âSorcery? Chill out with the medieval vocabulary, my guy. Aren't you too invested in your aesthetic?â You reply, shrugging his behavior off. âYou mereâ peasant, I am a Targaryen prince. Dragon blood runs through my veins, how dare you speak and mock me?â He grits his teeth, his voice low and dangerous.
You blink for a few moments before bursting out in laughter. âOh gods! You're quite hilarious for a man that was drowning mere moments ago, say you didn't damage your brain did you?â You chuckle, checking his temperature.
The air gets knocked out of your lungs when he grabs you by your throat, pushing you onto the ground as he gets on top of you. âI will have your tongue, shall you speak any further mockery.â He whispers cruelly, his grip tightening around your neck. You gasp for air as you claw at his hands trying to pry them off, but he's too strong.
Great, is this how you're going to die? By the hands of a man who seems like is homeless or on drugs whom you saved? The seven are indeed cruel.
Your cursing to the God's was probably heard when you feel the oxygen rushing back in your lungs as he removes his hand away, but still straddling you. You look at him with doubt, wondering if he'd gone insane.
âI am Prince Aemond Targaryen, what is the Lady's name?â He asks, referring to you while getting off you and you wanted to laugh once again but you decided not to.
âPrince Aemond Targaryen? Are you serious? If you're Prince Aemond Targaryen then I'm Alicent Hightower.â You roll your eyes at his words waiting for him to act embarrassed as you made fun of him, but he doesn't say anything. He squints his eye in disbelief.
âSeriously? Cosplaying a historic character is one thing but claiming you're them seems more of a mental illness.â You tell him, getting off the ground and standing before him, looking down at him from above.
You waited for him to drop the act, yet nothing came out of his mouth. âWhat year is this?â He asks and you blink in confusion. âUhm 1024, why?â You reply and his mouth drops in shock.
He had been sent 894 years into the future. His heart begins to race as he takes in his surroundings once again, nothing looking the same way as it did before.
He looked at you, the one who pulled him into this world, was it magic? No, you were too much of an airhead for this to be magic. Aemond sighs.
He had nowhere to go in this world. All his family was likely dead. So he stares at you in thought, acknowledging that he probably looks like an insane person to you right now. A person from the future.
He gulps as anxiety eats away at the pit in his stomach. âYou alright?â You ask, but he suddenly stands up grabbing you by your shoulders. He had only you now.
âWatch.â He tells you, one of his hands travelling to his eyepatch before pulling it off and revealing his eye. Hoping that it would convince you that he's not crazy.
âA sapphire.. in your eye like Aemond Targaryen, wow the dedication is indeed there.â You clap lightly but Aemond tuts, annoyed at your skepticism.
You couldn't help but feel a little intimidated by him, the subconscious of your mind seemed to know more than you did, for some reason, it believed him.
He didn't look like a crazy person while claiming those things, he looked you dead in the eye while claiming that he was a Prince, and Aemond Targaryen himself. So you couldn't help but wonder if it was really true.
âCan I touch your hair?â You ask, the question leaving your mouth unexpectedly and you cover your lips in shock. Fuck, you needed to hold your tongue. He tilts his head.
âNobody except the Targaryens have platinum blonde hair, the hair colour now cannot be inherited genetically as they are long extinct. Every last one of them died. Now you can only see this hair color if you bleach your hair or wigs.. But they have weird textures so.. I need to see if you're telling the truth.â You explain yourself as fast as you can before he gets mad. He processes your words and gives you permission to touch his hair, and you touch it indeed.
Your eyes widen at the smoothness, his hair showing no signs of dye or bleach, it's way too healthy and non frizzy. Out of curiosity, you pluck one of the hair strands which makes him wince. âYou wench howââ He begins to speak.
âShh!â You shush him, holding the hair closer to your face, as you stare at the root part of the hair, platinum blonde just like the rest. Your heartbeat starts picking up its pace as you stare at the shiny hair intensely.
You turn your head to look at him, his features stoic, way too calm and collected. You ignored this before but he radiated off such a mightier energy, his posture was prim and perfect, his sapphire eye glinted and stayed snuggled up in his eye. His working eye just stared at you, the pupil shrinking and expanding, mimicking the turmoil of emotions within him.
Your gaze took in his features intently, the nose, the lips, the eyes, the face shape all were similar to the painting you had seen when you were in high school, studying history.
That's when your history teacher's lesson replayed in your memory, recalling the memory, pulling you into a flashback.
//
âAemond Targaryen, fell into the Lake God's eye during the battle with his uncle.. His dragon, Vhagar, was found at the bottomââ You write down the notes as the teacher speaks, writing down the dates of the incident.
âHowever, eerily enough, his body was never found. Not at the bottom, nowhere. It was as if he just vanished. Never seen again.â
âHis body was never found.â you scribbled.
âAs if he vanished, never seen again.â you took out your highlighter and highlighted the point.
//
You stared at the man in front of you before you looked at the lake you guys were standing at the edge of, the water coming to your feet, pulled by the wind, towards you.
âHis body was never found.â
âNever seen again.â
The words repeated in your mind as you look at him again.
âSo you really.... are Aemond Targaryen?â You question, your body shaking with the realisation, the weight of it feeling heavy on your shoulders, you hoped it was a joke, that the man in front of you was playing a joke. But everything fell in place way too perfectly.
ânever found ; never seen again.â
âHmm.â He hums.
#; borderline !#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond targaryen x you#aemond x reader#reader insert#x reader#hotd fanfic#hotd aemond#fics
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Extra Reading, Ch. 2
More illiterate rook x emmrich fluff
Opposites attract will always and forever be one of my favorite romance tropes.
Emmrich searched through the piles of books he had pulled from his shelves, all potential contenders to be the first book Rook would read. The gravity of the decision was not lost on him. Finding a balance between something that wouldnât be too challenging at her current skill level and would actually interest her was a fine line to walk. Certainly none of his necromancy texts, nothing that assumed the reader was already somewhat knowledgeable on the topic, and nothing that overindulged in grandiose language. Which sadly precluded the majority of his library as candidates. He tried to think of everything he knew about Rook, and came up with a pitifully short list. She was a Grey Warden, she had spent time in the Anderfels, and she didnât mind necromancy. When he had inquired if his magical practice would concern her and her teammates, she had just laughed and said âshe had seen worse things happen to dead bodies than doing chores in the Necropolis.â Concerningly, she had not elaborated on that point. He paced the balcony of his room, repeating the words Grey Warden over and over in his head until they lost all meaning. Suddenly, the perfect book came to him, and he walked over to the bookcase that housed his choice for Rookâs first foray into literature.
The History of Grey Wardens in Ferelden by Ferdinand Genitivi. There was a reason he was one of the most popular authors in Thedas- his writing style was approachable, but engaging. And the subject matter was relevant, given Rookâs background. While she seemed to react to most things with amusement, when speaking about the Wardens, her demeanor changed. She spoke seriously, with passion and conviction, her connection in the institution clearly going deeper than ideology. Emmrich wasnât sure what her life was like before joining the Wardens, or the circumstances that led to her recruitment. When he had asked where she was from during their initial journey in the Necropolis, she said she had trained in the Anderfels, but offered nothing about her origins. As curious as he was about Rook, he knew that if a Grey Warden didnât freely offer information about their past, it wasnât a good idea to inquire further.
A knock sounded on his door. He peered out over the balcony, searching for Manfred on the floor below before remembering he had left earlier in the night to watch Lucanis cook dinner. Tucking the book underneath his arm, he rushed down the stairs to open the door for Rook. She stood in the hallway, hands on her hips, a small smile on her face. Despite her diminutive size, her presence dominated whatever room she was in.Â
âWelcome, Rook!â he greeted her, the excitement over having a new student starting to build in him. As much as he had been enjoying his time away from the Necropolis, he couldn't help but miss the comforting routine of academia. She strode into the room, taking in the mess he had left when finding the perfect book for her. Turning towards him, she raised a questioning eyebrow, and embarrassment began to burn over his face. In his single-minded focus to find a suitable text for Rook, he had neglected to clean up after himself. âI apologize for the state of the room, I suppose I lost track of time.â
âProfessor,â Rook laughed, âI promise you Iâve seen worse living situations than this.âÂ
âEmmrich is just fine. This isnât a setting that demands formality.âÂ
âBut itâs such a fun word! And Iâve never gotten the chance to use it before!â Rook argued, putting on a playful frown. âLet me at least use it while youâre actually teaching me.â She took a seat next to his desk, staring expectantly at him.
âIf you wish.â Emmrich gave a slight laugh before sitting at his desk, opposite to Rook, and handing her the book. As Rook stared at the cover, he realized he didnât actually know how much she could read. Previously, she had simply said she couldnât read âwellâ, but that wasnât a very useful description. If he underestimated her abilities, he ran the risk of appearing condescending, which is that last thing a teacher should be. Overestimating her, on the other hand, would leave her without the instructional support she needed, and if she felt too shy to ask for help when she needed it-
âI donât know what that says.â Rook said bluntly, interrupting his overthinking, pointing to the word Ferelden on the cover. âI know the words Grey Warden. Obviously. Iâve seen those enough. But I donât know what a Feer-... a Far-...â she narrowed her eyes as she stared at the text, her finger running over the word as she tried to sound out the syllables.Â
âTake it one part at a time.â Emmrich instructed, motioning for her to hand the book to him. He laid it flat on the desk, placing his hand over the word so only the letters âFeâ were showing. Once she read the syllable correctly, he moved onto the second, and the third. âNow string them together.â
âFerelden... Oh! I know that, thatâs where Hardingâs from!â Rook grinned, joy from her accomplishment radiating off of her. Emmrich smiled, the familiar sense of satisfaction gained from watching a student succeed filling his chest. âOne part at a time.â Rook reminded herself as she grabbed the book that lay between them and opened it to the first page. She settled back into her chair, tracing her finger over the lines of text slowly, silently mouthing the words to herself. Emmrich picked up his own book, a study of the aftermath of the Breach.
They spent the rest of the evening in a similar manner. Rook would stumble across a word or passage she struggled with, and would ask for help without hesitation or shame. After a bit of help, she would figure it out, celebrate for a moment, then dive back into the book. Eventually, Manfred returned, delivering a cup of coffee to Rook from Lucanis. A comfortable silence settled over the room, the only interruptions being the occasional question from Rook and the turning of pages. Emmrich peered out over the top of his own book, studying Rook. She was curled up in his chair, intently studying the book while hugging her cup of coffee, unaware of his observation. The contrast between the force of nature she was on the battlefield to who she was in the moments she thought nobody was paying attention to her was striking. He hadnât gotten many chances to interact with her past the visit she paid to the Necropolis to recruit him. But here, without her armor and weapons, without the demands of the outside world, she radiated a sense of calm he had yet to observe elsewhere.
The colors of the Fade outside began to shift from pinks and oranges to a muted purple, which was the closest approximation to a sunset they got at the Lighthouse. As the light in the room shifted, the glow of his candles fighting off the falling darkness, Rook looked up from her book towards him.
âEmmrich⊠thank you.â Rook said gently. âNot just for teaching me, but for being so nice about it. I was never really embarrassed about not being able to read until I joined up with Varric and realized it was strange. So, thank you for not making me feel weird about it.â
âOf course! You have nothing to be ashamed of.â He reassured her, setting down his book to give her his undivided attention. âHow are you liking the book?â
âItâs good! Makes me want to read about Wardens in the Free Marches.â
âWhy the Free Marches?â
âThatâs where Iâm from. Grew up in the alienage in Tantervale.â
âIâm certain I can find it for you.â Emmrich smiled, gratified by Rookâs desire to delve deeper into the subject matter.Â
âI should probably try to get some sleep. Would it be okay if I took this with me?â Rook tentatively questioned, holding the book up expectantly. He nodded, and she smiled, hugging it close to her. It was difficult to not be charmed by her mannerisms. Among other things. âYou do realize Iâm going to be bugging you with a lot of questions, right?âÂ
âI was hoping you would.â
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Thank you to the person/people who have been submitting so much propaganda recently! I appreciate the enthusiasm and it makes the tournament so much better to have more visuals of the nominees. Here's the updated list of those that have neither visual nor written (nor audio) propaganda:
Bessie Jones
Barbara Keith
Jennifer Warnes
Written propaganda is well and good, and it really gives some good reasons why a particular nominee is so wonderful, but in a contest about looks, it helps that we can see more of a person! The following nominees have WRITTEN propaganda, but NO VISUAL propaganda:
Shirley Bassey
Ivy Benson
Diahann Carroll
Patsy Cline
Rosemary Clooney
Doris Day
Sandy Denny
Maureen Evans
Annie Haslam
Mary Hopkin
Betty Hutton
Sonja Kristina
Peggy Lee
Lulu
Anni-Frid Lyngstad
Liza Minnelli
Stevie Nicks
Virginia O'Brien
Anna Russell
Melanie Safka
Doreen Shaffer
Patti Smith
Barbra Streisand
Don't feel pressured to submit for these ladies, but they're the most in need of visuals right now. Of course, feel free to submit more written propaganda, if you want, it's always fun! Get in your propaganda by June 25th at midnight PST to have it included in the post!
#'no visual' does not include the icon image btw#it just means nothing below the 'read more'#EDIT: please also check the original long post for updates#i can only edit the original otherwise i'd be editing reblogs
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 67
as I read live
Thank the gods. Even though they were the last beings Rowan wished to thank.
She rested a hand atop Goldryn's hilt, flame dancing at her fingers, seemingly into the red stone itself.
"It would take years," she observed, "to heal everyone infected by the Valg."
"Each of those soldiers has a family, friends who would want us to try."
"I know."
The chill wind whipped her hair across her face, blowing northward.
"Could Yrene heal them? Erawan and Maeve? I don't know why I didn't think of it."
"Is Erawan's body made by him, or stolen?
Is Maeve's?" Rowan shook his head. "They might be wholly different."
"I don't see how I can ask Yrene to do it.
Ask it of Chaol." Aelin swallowed. "To even put Yrene near Erawan or Maeve... I can't do it."
Rowan wouldn't be able to, either. Not for a thousand different reason.
"But is it a mistake to put Yrene's safety above that of this entire world?" Aelin mused, examining one of the enemy daggers she'd pilfered. An unusually fine blade, likely stolen in the first place.
"She's the greatest weapon we have, if the keys are not in play. Are we fools not to push to use it?"
It wasn't his choice, his call. But he could offer her a sounding board. "Will you be able to live with yourself if something happens to Yrene, to her unborn child?"
"No. But the rest of the world will live, at least. My guilt would be secondary to that."
"And if you don't push Yrene to try to destroy them, and Erawan or Maeve winsâwhat then?"
"There is still the Lock. There's still me."
Rowan swallowed. Saw the reason she'd needed to be away from the others, needed to walk.
"Yrene is a ray of hope for you. For us That you might not need to forge the Lock at all. You, or Dorian."
"The gods demand it."
"The gods can go to hell."
Aelin chucked away the dagger. "I hate this. I really do."
He slid an arm around her shoulders. It was all he could offer her.
Overïżœïżœïżœshe'd said she wanted it to be over.
He'd do all he could to make it so.
Aelin leaned her head against his chest, and they stared across the cold lake in silence.
"Would you let me do it, if I were Yrene? If I were carrying our child?"
He failed to block out the image of that dreamâof Aelin, heavily pregnant, their children around her. "I don't let you do anything."
She waved a hand. "You know what I mean."
He took a moment to answer. "No. Even if the world ended because of it, I couldn't bear it."
And with that Lock, he might very well have to make that decision, too.
Rowan ran his fingers over the claiming marks on her neck. "I told you that love was a weakness. It would be far easier if we all hated each other."
She snorted. "Give it a few weeks on the road with this army, in those mountains, and we might not be such pleasant allies anymore."
Rowan kissed the top of her head. "Gods help us."
Even with the hours of instruction on the journey back to this continent, Rowan and the others had not wholly mastered the language of the half-forgotten marks. But her mate remembered mostâas if they'd been planted in his mind.
Aelin carefully studied the line of symbols across the page. Read through them a second time. "It's not what we're looking for." She pulled on her bottom lip. "It's a spell for opening a portal between locations-just in this world."
"Like what Maeve can do?" Borte asked.
Aelin shrugged. "Yes, but this is for close traveling. More like what Fenrys can do.
"Or had once been able to do, before Maeve had broken it from him.
Borte's mouth quirked to the side. "What's the point of it, then?"
"Entertaining people at parties?" Aelin handed the book back to Rowan.
Borte chuckled, and leaned back in her seat, toying with the end of a long braid. "Do you think the spell existsâto find an alternate way to seal the Wyrdgate?" The question was barely more than a whisper, and yet Rowan shot the girl a warning look. Borte just waved him off.
No. Elena would have told her, or Brannon,
if such a thing had existed Aelin ran a hand over the dry, ancient page, the symbols blurring. "It's worth a look, isn't it?"
Rowan indeed resumed his careful browsing and decoding. He'd sit here for hours, she knew. And if they found nothing, she knew he'd sit here and reread them all just to be sure.
A way outâan alternate path. For her, for Dorian. For whichever of them would pay the price to forge the Lock and seal the gate. A desperate, foolish hope.
Chaol found his father where he'd left him, seething in his study.
"You cannot give a single acre of this territory to the wild men," his father hissed as Chaol wheeled into the room and shut the door.
Chaol crossed his arms, not bothering took placating. "I can, and I will."
Chaol sighed, slumping back in his chair. A lifetime of thisâthat's what Dorian had laid upon him. As Hand, he'd have to deal with lords and rulers just like his father. If they survived. If Dorian survived, too. The thought was enough for Chaol to say, "Everyone in this war is making sacrifices. Most far, far greater than a few miles of land. Be grateful that's all we're asking of you."
"I hope Anielle burns to the ground. And you with it." A small, hateful smile. "That's all your brother said. My heirâthat's how he feels about this place. If he will not protect Anielle, then what shall become of it without you?"
"She discovered the trunk. Right before we got word of Morath marching on us," his father said, his smile mocking and cold. "I should have burned them, of course, but something prompted me to save them instead. For this exact moment, I think."
The trunk was piled thick with letters. All written by his mother. To him. "How long," he said too quietly.
"From the day you left." His father's sneer lingered.
Years. Years of letters, from a mother he had not heard from, had believed hadn't wanted to speak to him, had yielded to his father's wishes.
"You let her believe I didn't write back," Chaol said, surprised to find his voice still calm "You never sent them, and let her believe I didn't write back."
"Watching you with that wife of yours only proves it. I'd think you'd bargain quite a bit to be able to read these letters."
Chaol only stared at him. Blinked once, as if it would quell the roaring in his head, his heart.
His mother had never forgotten him. Never.
Stopped writing to him.
Chaol smiled slightly.
"Keep the letters," he said, steering his chair back to the doors. "Now that she's left you, it might be your only way to remember her." He opened the study door and looked over his shoulder.
His father remained beside the trunk, stiff as a sword. "I don't make bargains with bastards, Iâm certainly not starting with you."
Cain's people or they had been. Aelin decided not to mention him during their brief introduction. And Chaol, wisely, refrained from admitting that he'd killed the man.
Another lifetime. Another world.
Seated atop a fine Munigi horse Hasar had lent her, Aelin rode at the front of the company, as it marched from Anielle, Chaol on Farasha to her left, Rowan on his own Munigi horse to her right. Their companions were scattered behind, Lorcan healed enough to be riding, Elide beside him.
And behind them, snaking into the distance, the army of the khagan moved.
The khagan's armies had crossed every terrain, though. Mountains and deserts and seas.
They did not balk now.
So Aelin supposed she would not, either.
For whatever time she had left, until it was over.
This final push north, homeward
ă»ă»ă»
She smiled grimly at the looming mountains, at the army stretching away behind them
And just because she could, just because they were headed to Terrasen at last, Aelin unleashed a flicker of her power. Some of the standard-bearers behind them murmured in surprise, but Rowan only smiled.
Smiled with that fierce hope, that brutal determination that flared in her own heart, as she began to burn.
She let the flame encompass her, a golden glow that she knew could be spied even from the farthest lines of the army, from the city and keep they left behind. A beacon glowing bright in the shadows of the mountains, in the shadows of the forces that awaited them, Aelin lit the way north.
#Chapter 67#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#final chapter of part 2#all caught up#all updates are now live#read with me live updates#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 67 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Chaorene#Rowaelin#I love you always northward Gavriel learning to heal she could be there way out still they try for Hope I don't LET she'd drifted away agai#she's trying to figure out why their evil maybe they're possessed she wouldn't let Yrene near yet that's where she would be#because that's the price she will pay comfortably but the selfless guilt of 2ndary our hopeful Yrene she did not like this#he knew what she meant she's fighting but also it mean different he couldn't forget the dream their dream it was a dream truly a dream#the full circle heir of fire irony him holding her like Qos but this time different and also not flinching -#-when she hops onto a different track also props2her learning Wyrds-#What Maeve could do foreshadowing maybe-the order to rest-Chaol having that talk now vs Khagan frustrations-nothing#Yes Terrin-she fought for him&that made all the difference-heâll see her himself-this time Rowan&Chaol at her sides&the position means#Rowan smiled-Hope continued-Their team-Lorcy healing-Where fang had gone-Full circle long ago-the rivers-is the Ruhkin just Ruk full name-#rum hen have hypogriff vibes-Oakwald would be proud-the way north-home-finally-gods and gates-#Wyrdmarks. A good spell for encouraging your herb beds to grow.#had leaped at the chance to assist them passing Valg duty onto her scowling betrothed#Hafiza's forbidden library atop the Torre nothing had proved useful.#Aelin tipped her face toward that cold sky as they began the endless series of switchbacks up the mountainsidesAelinsEternalAmusement-to TO
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Links to Pacific Rim creator Travis Beacham's own posts on drift compatibility and drifting
Drift compatibility is psychological, not genetic
The better you know someone, the more likely you are to be drift compatible
Drift compatibility is potential, not fate
Drift compatibility can be a choice
Friendship is the foundation of drift compatibility
The drift requires trust
Trust is fundamental; also drift compatibility can be determined with anything that tests how well you can anticipate each others' moves
That even includes multiplayer video games
Many cadets wash out during Pons training when secrets come out in the drift and shatter their relationships
A lot of pilots get messed up by flinching over sexual thoughts
Trying to avoid thoughts just makes them worse
Not everything you see in the drift is always real; also the way to deal with thoughts is just let them flow by
Pilots communicate through "headspace"
Illustration of a conversation in headspace
First drifts can be very confusing, because partners don't understand each others' minds very well yet
The drift exposes pilots to each others' raw, unfiltered thoughts
Raleigh knew what Yancy was going to say
The drift doesn't let you read your partner's mind like a database, and you may not necessarily understand what you see. Also when Pentecost says he carries nothing into the drift he means he's calm and stable.
Pentecost gained this calmness through meditation
Trying to block your partner from your mind will make you lose control of the Jaeger
Pilots who fall below 90% sync will be in trouble
General information plus info on RABITs
You can chase your partner's RABIT
Another post confirming you can chase your partner's RABIT
More RABIT info
More general information
Travis Beacham defines ghost drifting
Partners' personalities can rub off on each other
Neural overload doesn't hit you all at once; it accumulates
The time a pilot can go solo varies, and it's a steep curve from fine to dead
More info on solo piloting
Being high in the drift probably makes it harder to avoid chasing the RABIT
#pacific rim#pacific rim 2013#travis beacham#pacific rim lore#pacific rim resources#drifting#the drift#drift compatibile#drift compatibility
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What I Want You To Know About Long COVID
Well lads, I've been suffering from Long COVID for over a year now. My life is at a complete standstill. I'm 25 years old and I'm too sick to go back to school, I can't work, I had to move back in with my parents and I'm still stuck here.
Here are just a few things I wish people knew about Long COVID, including things I didn't know myself until I got it.
COVID destroys your immune system. Yes, even if you don't have Long COVID. Are you getting sick more often now? When you get sick, does it last longer? There are many studies showing that COVID causes t cell depletion, even in mild COVID cases! T cells are how your body remembers how to fight off infections you've had before so losing those cells? Bad news.
Your initial infection can be mild and you can still get Long COVID. Right from Yale Medicine, "Most people with Long COVID had mild acute COVID." (This is also a good link for a basic Long COVID overview).
There can be a gap of time between when you "get better" from the initial COVID infection to the onset of Long COVID symptoms. Some people get sick with an initial COVID infection and never get better. Some get better and then weeks or months later start developing Long COVID symptoms. Long COVID symptoms can even fluctuate over time, can go away for months and then suddenly come back.
So many people have Long COVID and don't realize it. Do you feel more tired lately but no matter how much you sleep, nothing helps? Is it harder to concentrate at work or school? Can you just not think like you used to? You could have Long COVID and not even know it. Even mild post-COVID symptoms are still Long COVID.
COVID can do anything to your body. Long COVID has over 200 recognized symptoms and can affect basically any part or system of your body. There is no one mechanism or cause of Long COVID which unfortunately also means there's no one cure either.
The effects of COVID are cumulative. Each COVID reinfection increases your chances of developing Long COVID. COVID is also affecting your body in other ways, yes, even if you're otherwise young and healthy! "Repeat COVID-19 infections increase risk of organ failure, death".
Once you have Long COVID, repeat COVID infections will make your symptoms worse. "80% [of Long COVID patients] saw their symptoms worsen [from reinfection]. In 60% of people who were in recovery or remission from Long COVID, reinfection caused a recurrence of Long COVID."
There is a lot more I want to say about Long COVID but I want to keep this post at least somewhat manageable to read. Like how when COVID is contracted during pregnancy, those COVID-exposed fetuses have a 6.3-fold increased risk of motor developmental delays, or that another study found 50% of babies exposed to COVID in utero had developmental delays.
You need to keep caring about COVID, for others around you and also for yourself even if you're "healthy". Everyone is at risk. And don't forget 40-60% of COVID infections are asymptomatic, which is why masking even if you feel fine is crucial. The only way right now to not get Long COVID is to not get COVID in the first place. It's not too late, if you've stopped masking it's never too late to start again! I know it's easy to get distracted by things in your life that seem more real than the possibility of getting sick some time in the future, and the peer pressure to not mask can be intense. But it only feels less real or less important until your entire life is having Long COVID. Trust me.
I know this is a complicated issue, many people can't afford to stay home when sick even if they want to because of their jobs, there are disgusting policies trying to ban wearing masks, but please if you can. Keep masking. Masking works, masking saves lives.
This post got a bit longer than I wanted so below the cut is a non-exhaustive list of my Long COVID symptoms and some of my experiences as one of the "healthy young people" who got "unlucky". cw brief mention of suicidal ideation.
Welcome to the Thunderdome that is my body with Long COVID. Keep in mind these are just my experiences and symptoms, Long COVID can cause any range of symptoms at varying severities.
Dysautonomia: Exercise intolerance, Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM), fatigue, and heat intolerance. What do those things mean? Here's some specific examples. Absolutely terrible circulation I am so cold all the time but also, if I get a little too warm I will pass out. Eating hot food makes my heart rate spike, I sweat, my body feels heavy. Blood pooling and pins and needles in my feet when I walk. Don't even think about exercising past walking, it's impossible. I used to work out an hour a day 4 times a week and now walking up one flight of stairs makes my heart pound and I can't breathe. Can't take even just warm showers anymore or I will pass out. Heat rashes from being in the sun for 10 minutes.
Digestive issues: Honestly too many to name but: constant bloating, extreme nausea, constipation, slow motility, lack of appetite, just so much cramping and pain. I lost 18 pounds from Long COVID, as someone who was already considered underweight their entire life, and almost had to get a shunt put into my chest to deliver nutrients because I was nearly completely unable to eat. For the first 6 months of Long COVID, if I could manage 600 calories a day, that was a good day.
Histamine intolerance: Oh boy. My worst symptoms, I don't even know where to start with it. If you know Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) it's very similar. I can only eat 19 foods. If i eat a single bite of something not on that list, it's 48 hours of absolute hell. Coughing, migraines, itchy eyes, such extreme nausea I cannot even describe it, panic/feeling of doom, racing heart rate, derealization, rash, uncontrollable muscle tremors. I only learned about histamine intolerance 5 months into having Long COVID so before that, I was experiencing these symptoms nearly every single day. Terrifying isn't even a strong enough word to describe how it felt to experience all this and have no idea what it was, how to stop it, or if it would ever stop. Really dark times.
Neurological issues: More of that derealization. Inability to concentrate. Anxiety. OCD-like symptoms such as thoughts getting "stuck" in my head, repeating 24/7 completely unable to stop them, genuinely felt like my brain had cracked open and I had lost my mind. Constant dizziness like I'm on a boat.
Sleep issues: I sleep like garbage. I have insomnia, I wake up dozens of times every night and every single time I sleep I have intensely vivid dreams. I can't sleep longer than 7 hours total no matter how exhausted I am. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted, I'm so so tired.
And finally. Just. Really intense suicidal ideation. My body, my health, my entire life has been stolen from me because someone else decided my life was worth less to them than wearing a mask or staying home if they feel sick. Before I got Long COVID, I was preparing to go to South Korea to teach English, then on to a PhD in neurolinguistics, I was supposed to meet my long distance partner and had already booked plane tickets when I got sick. All of that has been destroyed.
Most of us with Long COVID are stuck in a cycle of being extremely sick, then if you're lucky you'll slowly get better over months, just to get reinfected and go right back where you started or worse. Honestly, I'm not scared of dying from COVID. I'm scared of living for a long time, suffering from Long COVID the entire time. This isn't living.
I don't know how to end this now. I'm still fighting, I'm trying experimental treatments, I'm not giving up yet. I hope everyone reading this stays healthy and well.
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â stay with me, sleep with me
⥠perv!ellie x fem! reader
synopsis: ellieâs desperate moans pull you from your sleep and after fully waking up, you realize just how badly she needs to touch you.
a/n: wrote while extremely high i am so sorry
warnings: DONT LIKE DONT READ ! â established relationship, a bit of somno, dry humping (a blessing), cursing, ellie is a complete perv, dom ellie, sub r!, degradation (both receiving), impact play, ellieâs strap is referred to as a cock, a vile amount of spit mentioned, super sloppy sex sorry, cunnilingus (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), ejaculating strap, breeding kink, consensual pics after sex, begging, kinda perv r! tbh, sex, deep penetration (?), porn with no absolutely no plot and not proofread
wc: 4k
It was hard to register anything at all as your eyes fluttered open, your mind muddled and confused as you are yanked out of your soothing sleep.Â
The room is still dark, only being illuminated by the small night light on the bedside as the clock reads 2:42 am, and yet you have no time to notice it. All you are focused on is the fact that you could hear Ellie whimpering, the warm feeling that spread throughout your lower body being due to her humping your ass like you were nothing but a toy.Â
âElsâ you whine quietly, your voice still groggy with sleepiness. Despite the suddenness of your words, Ellie doesnât falter in the slightest. Instead, she grips your hips tighter, making quick work of flipping you onto your tummy so she can straddle you easily. Pinning you down takes little to no effort even as you squirm a bit, as Ellieâs strength is best shown when she is hyper focused on pleasure.Â
âShut up, just shut upâ she mutters, now grinding against you desperately, the way her clit is being nudged through the fabric of her boxers is enough to make her act carelessly. âYou were teasing me on purpose⊠wearing nothing but those pathetic little panties to bed. And you expect me to be able to sleep?â she scoffs, her words breathless and frustrated.Â
All you can do is whine as your face is shoved into the pillow below you, your mind desperately trying to catch up to the situation. It finally dawns on you that she is desperate to get off, so desperate that she was using your sleeping body.Â
Throughout your relationship, you have learned that Ellie has a tendency to be grabby and a bit pervy to put it nicely. Whether youâre at home or in public, sheâs always groping your tits, smacking your ass, or cupping your cunt right before she gives it a little smack. Every little thing you did made her horny, so much so that she couldnât sleep properly unless she fucked you at least twice a day.Â
But to know that she could get off just from seeing your body while you sleep is enough to make you moan weakly as she grinds against you. âDidnât mean to tease, promiseâ you grunt against the pillows, desperate to defend yourself and yet she scoffs at you reply.Â
âIâm not telling you to give me half assed excuses, Iâm telling you to just shut the fuck up, for the love of Godâ she seethes, her words barely coherent as she rocks against you, her mind blinded by pleasure. Her words make you shut your mouth instantly, able to tell that there was no way to talk yourself out of this situation.Â
âThaaaaaaatâs itâ she praises upon your silence, begrudgingly slowing down her hips since she could finally do what she had been so desperate to do. She takes in a few shaky breaths, keeping you pinned down with her weight but leaning back a bit so she can take in more of your body.Â
Seeing you clad in only cozy white cotton underwear has Ellie more desperate than ever. Her fingers trace your puffy cunt through the thin material, testing your patience with her movements. âStop fucking teasingâ you groan, pressing your hips back against her touch in search of some sort of relief.Â
For a moment you think she isnât going to bother responding to you, that is until you feel a hard smack against your ass. Itâs harsh enough to make you yelp in surprise, your skin tingling with pain from the impact.Â
âWatch your goddamn mouth when youâre talking to meâ she seethes. âWas gonna be all sweet on you but stupid girls like you donât deserve that kind of treatmentâ she mutters, the anger in her voice making your whole body feel as if itâs on fire.Â
Before you can beg for her to go easy on you, she is pulling up your hips till your ass is raised in the air and your knees are spread. You use your arms to help push yourself up, now on all fours as you look back at her.Â
Ellie is wearing just a black tanktop with her boxers, and yet she manages to look absolutely perfect. The way her chest rises and falls at such a quick pace shows her need, her complete desperation to have you all to herself. Her eyes flicker to meet yours, having a terrifying edge to them as she analyzes your features.Â
âAw, did I scare you, baby?â she coos with false pity. Even if you know she is mocking you, you still nod your head, albeit in an unsure manner. She gives a little âawhâ before lowering her hand so she can toy with the waistband of your panties.Â
With the material pulled snug against your cunt, she can just barely make out the wet patch that has formed since itâs still dim in the bedroom. She lets the material snap back in place against your skin, a pleased smile on her lips when you flinch and let out a hiss of pain.Â
âJust doing what you want me to do, sweet girl. Look at how soaked you are just from being hit and usedâ she hums, landing another rough smack on your ass that makes it hard to keep yourself upright. âSâ fucking filthy, you know that?â she questions, not caring when you donât offer her a verbal reply.Â
Instead you let out a soft moan as the pain from the hit settles in which causes pleasure to shoot down right towards your pussy. Itâs too much to bear, the anticipation of her touch leaving you breathless.Â
She smooths her hands over your aching bottom to soothe the pain only to quickly yank your panties down to your bent knees. Cool air hits your cunt and makes you let out a puff of breath, feeling so exposed and at Ellieâs mercy.Â
âPerfect little cuntâ she praises, running her thumb between your folds just so she can gather the slick that is rather prominent. âThank you, Elsâ you breathe out, needing to get back on her good side or else it would be unlikely sheâd actually let you come.Â
Your sentiment is not wasted on her, as her touch becomes more gentle, leaning down to let spit drip down from her lips so it can slide down your cunt slowly. Itâs so warm that you canât help but shiver, letting out a borderline pornographic moan as she uses her lubed up finger to gently press against your entrance.Â
But just as you think itâs about to begin, she pulls her finger back. âYou gonna let me taste you or are you gonna be difficult again?â she questions, sucking your juices off her fingers before crossing her arms over her chest as she leans back.Â
You immediately turn to look back at her, your eyes pleading. âIâll be good, baby. Wanna feel your tongue, please. Want your fingers too, fuckâ you rush out, your words slurring together just a bit.Â
All you can think of is her touch, her body, how low her voice is when she speaks to you like youâre just some stupid girl. Your mind is barely functional at this point, not minding as she yanks your body down until youâre at the very edge of the bed. She settled onto her knees, dreaming of the bruises that will likely appear from doing so.Â
She spreads open your cunt with her fingers, wanting to take in the sight of her spit that had managed to mix with your own arousal, leaving you a dripping mess. âAtta girlâ she praises despite the fact that you are doing nothing but allowing her to see you completely.Â
The mixture of being praised along with the feeling of her warm breath fanning against your cunt as she inches closer. âWanna make this pretty pussy feel so good; gonna make you mineâ she mutters, not even thinking anymore. She is akin to a shark that has just smelt blood, her eyes narrowing as they focus on your cunt that sheâs about to eat out without hesitation.Â
Her words wash over you and take away any tension left in your body. She presses an open mouthed kiss right on your clit, always loving to surprise you with a shock of pleasure. Within a second of the kiss, she is flicking her tongue against your cunt like a starved woman.Â
âFuck, fuck, fuckâ you huff, your eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of her tongue working against you. The sounds she makes are absolutely obscene, moaning against you as she keeps her face completely buried in your pussy. She doesnât make you work for anything at all, already licking upwards towards your aching clit.Â
She closes her lips around the soft bud, sucking on it so perfectly that for a moment you swear you can see stars. Your moans mix with hers in the filthiest way, as youâre both overcome with pleasure. âJesus, mâ sensitive, fuckinâ aches, Elsâ you murmur, unsure if youâre trying to get her to ease up on your clit or suck on it just a bit harder.Â
Ellie chooses to ease up, giving a final lick to your clit before she shoves two fingers into her own mouth, getting them slick with saliva so you wonât feel any sort of discomfort from them. âLove those noises youâre making, baby. Could fucking come from listening to you moan my nameâ she says with a breathy chuckle, finding herself entertaining as per usual.Â
You canât help the lazy smile that spreads on your lips from all the attention she is giving you, an exasperated groan as you feel her pressing both fingers against your opening, trying to ease them in before you have time to protest.Â
She usually does one finger on its own but she is terribly impatient and some sick part of her loves feeling how tight you are when youâre not prepared for such a stretch. You practically mutter every curse in the book as she pushes them in, feeling slightly embarrassed from how easily they slide in due to your slickness and how relaxed you are from her touch.Â
âJesus Christ, your cunt is sucking me in, so fucking tightâ she says with a drawn out groan, the way youâre squeezing against her fingers making her head spin with delight. âSo bigâ you moan out, as Ellieâs fingers were the perfect length, reaching spots you could never get to by your own hand.Â
The stretch is enough to have you writhing, your arms shaking from weakness as she pumps her fingers in and out of your sloppy cunt. âTaking me so well, angelâ she grunts, curling her fingers in a way that has you pleading with her to slow down a bit. But she is too focused on bringing you to the edge, needing to make you feel good no matter what.Â
âYou gonna come on my fingers, hm?â she questions with a teasing edge to your voice, never ceasing to be amazed at how easy it is to make you fall apart completely. You nod, your arms aching as your muscles burn just to keep yourself in the perfect position.Â
âFeels uhmâ holy shit, feels like heavenâ you gasp out, the realization that she has her fingers knuckle deep inside of you only making your cunt clench more. âYeah, baby? Bet that pretty little head of yours is all empty now. All you can think about is how fucking deep my fingers are in your little cuntâ she says, knowing that her words are completely true.Â
You only nod as Ellie focuses on how perfect your tight heat feels as you desperately bounce back against her fingers. âJusâ a little moreâ you whimper, and Ellie is more than ready to give you what you need to push you over the edge.Â
She flicks her tongue against your clit, alternating between that and sucking on it sloppily, her spit dripping down onto the floor at this point. Neither of you care, as you are far too busy crying out her name. Your arms give out and you press your cheek against the soft mattress, your hips still in the air as she works.Â
âCan I come? Pleasepleaseplease, can I come?â you ask, knowing better than to do so without her permission. Your well behaved demeanor never fails to please Ellie, her eyes practically rolling back from how obedient you are.Â
âCourseâ you can, sweet girl. Just let goâ she mutters against your over sensitive cunt before lapping at your clit once more. Her fingers slide in and out with ease and she can tell youâre about to let go completely.Â
With her permission, youâre coming, the taste of your arousal filling her senses as your clit pulses against her tongue. You canât even thank her for giving you permission, practically braindead as your orgasm crashes over you. Your own drool seeps into the blanket beneath you, a fucked out grin on your lips as Ellie finally pulls her fingers out of your pussy.Â
Your body feels completely relaxed, your hips finally dropping down so your aching muscles can relax. You take a moment, a little sigh of happiness leaving your lips as you listen to Ellie suck your juices off her fingers as if it were the best thing she has ever tasted.Â
âCâmon, baby, I wanna see that pretty faceâ she coos, helping your weak body so that you can turn onto your back, your chest still heaving as she lays down beside you, not giving you any warning as she shoves her fingers into your mouth so you can taste yourself as well.Â
You take it just for her, letting her practically fuck her fingers into your mouth just for her pleasure. She eases her fingers out when she has had her fun, pressing her fingers together before spreading them once more just so she can she the strings of spit that connect them together. âYou made such a messâ she observes, a grin on her face as she glances at you.Â
All you can do is grin at her, knowing how much Ellie gets off on helping you feel good. She leans close enough to press her lips against your own, the kiss so intimate yet needy. Her tongue slides against yours, letting it trail against your teeth whenever she pleases. A whine is pulled from your throat when she grips your cheeks with her strong hand, forcing you to stick your tongue out. She offers you no explanation before leaning back in to messily suck on your tongue, her moans making your cunt ache for more attention.Â
She only pulls away to catch her breath, already missing the warmth your mouth provides. âGettinâ so much better at kissing, baby. Guess Iâm a good teacher, huh?â she quips with a grin. You only nod, your lips still slick with saliva as you give her your prettiest smile. âThe best teacher everâ you hum.Â
Ellie pauses for a moment, noticing the way youâre already pressing your thighs together, a sign that you are getting yourself worked up. âAw, poor thing. So pathetic and needy for my attentionâ states mockingly, although she couldnât be more pleased that she will be able to give you more.Â
âJust let me grab somethinâ to help make you feel goodâ she instructs, pushing herself up from the bed and parting from you so she can find what she knows will help you get all that extra energy out. For the first few minutes you simply stare up at the ceiling, eventually growing bored and quickly propping yourself up with your elbows.Â
You were met with the sight of Ellie tightening the harness against her body, turning just enough so that you can see which strap it is. it doesnât take long for you to realize, your tummy aching in the best way as you stare.Â
Itâs the fucking ejaculating strap, the toy only being used when Ellie wants to make a real mess all over the bed and maybe because she needs to watch her come drip out of your poor used cunt.Â
Its an intimidating sight, the way Ellie looks down at you, her hand at the base of the silicone cock. âGonna knock you up tonight, I swearâ she mumbles with a soft smile that sends shivers down your spine.Â
Even if you know itâs not possible, it doesnât stop you from feeling completely vulnerable to her. Itâs undeniably dirty, the idea of her coming inside you causes you to instinctively part your thighs for her, gently rubbing your clit and smiling weakly as you make tight circles with your finger.Â
âNeed you to, Els. Wanna feel when you finish insideâ you plead, trying to entice her. Without even truly having to try, she is giving in to you. âYouâve got a dirty fucking mouthâ she huffs, quickly striding towards the bed and pushing your legs up a bit higher. Her tone of voice leaves you feeling helpless to her in that moment.Â
She uses one hand to slap her strap against your needy clit, her mind filled with everything she wanted to do to you in that moment. The way you yelp and flinch is more than enough to please her; raising her hand to spit into her own hand, stroking her strap as if she could truly feel it. Ellie tilted her head back, her fist pumping in the most perfect manner, as it forced the material to nudge up against her clit.Â
âGonna fuck you till youâre a mess, all for meâ she breathes out, slowing her fist down now that her cock was thoroughly coated with spit, she teasingly pushed it against your entrace, letting it catch in the slightest before continuing on.Â
âNeed you to fill me up, pleaseâ you beg, looking up as ellie towers over you from her higher position. Your pathetic plea makes her genuinely smile and she is more than eager to finally give in to your request.Â
âHow can I say no when you ask so nicely?â she teases, getting you distracted so she could slowly push in. Your brows knit together once you feel the stretch, the thickness of it making you thankful Ellie had soaked your pussy with her spit.Â
âEllie, fuckâ you shudder, not complaining when she decides to push your legs further apart so she can push all the way in. Every time you think itâs over, another inch slips in and leaves you barely able to take in a few breaths of air.Â
When she finally manages to get all the way in, she lets out a curse at the way she can literally feel her hips against your own. Your hands clench at your sides, the feeling of being so full making it impossible to think for yourself.Â
She pulls out all the way to the tip before pushing her hips against yours to fuck you as deeply as possible. Her pace only quickens when your moans are only full of bliss. âYou hear that, sweetheart? Your cunt sâ fucking soakingâ she groans between thrusts, her hands lowering to slap your tits and grope them carelessly.Â
Her thrusts are forceful enough to really be able to make Ellie moan weakly, the material bumping against her making her grip on your thighs tighten. She looks you in the eyes as sheâs buried in your cunt, letting silence fall between the two of you so you could her the dirty sound of your wet cunt slapping against the base of her dick. It left you more flushed than you already were, your lips parting in an attempt to say anything at all.Â
âYouâre such a nasty pervâ you moan out between each thrust. âGetting off just at the idea of filling me up with your cumâ you tease, knowing the effects it would have.Â
Being called a perv for her behavior makes Ellie whimper pathetically, loving when you tell her how disgusting her behavior is. âFuck, say it again babe. Gonna make me fucking come if you keep talking like thatâ she states, barely getting in a few breaths as she speaks.Â
Her words only spur you on, as you have the need to make her feel good as well. âSo wrong of you to use me while Iâm sleeping, isnât it?â you huff, feigning disgust. âAre you so desperate that you have to hump me like Iâm just a toy? Because thatâs disgustingâ you continoue on.Â
All the while, Ellieâs moans grow louder as her physical and emotional pleasure build intensely. âAnd now look at you, trying to breed me like you own meâ you scoff, doing your best to play the part for your girlfriend.Â
It seems to please her, as sheâs fucking into you at an unbelievable pace. The strokes being so deep and swift that youâre back to being unable to speak, reduced to something weak when she was taking you like this.Â
âI do own you, stupid. Iâll use your body however the fuck I want and I know you wonât complain because you get off on it just as much as I doâ she groans, making you feel like you donât even have any purpose other than to be Ellieâs girlfriend.Â
âYou own me, Iâm sorry, you own meâ you gasp as pounds against a soft spot within you that causes you to lock your legs around her, refusing to let her pull out. âAnd I am gonna breed your filthy cunt, sâ all mine anywaysâ she states weakly as youâre both about to fall over the edge. Your tummy feels tight, clenching around her strap as you try to prepare to take her load.Â
âHoly fuck Iâmââ she begins, her hand tightening around the base of her strap so she can release the surprisingly warm cum into your pussy. Both of you moan over one another, hips trembling and shaking as Ellieâs cock remains deep inside you, cum dripping from the corners of your cunt.Â
Youâre flooded, feeling completely full and used. Each tremor makes you mewl, as her cock manages to move inside you. Before you can protest, sheâs pressing her body closer to yours, pinning your hips down with her own.Â
Slow and steadily she fucks you back open, each thrust intimate and loving. âGotta make sure it takes, angelâ she mutters to soothe your shaking body, completely overstimulated by pleasure. She fucks her cum back into your sore cunt, not wanting any of it to go to waste. Both of you were completely delusional, as you could swear in this moment you were truly going to have her babies.Â
After a few soft thrusts, she presses a small and gentle kiss to your lips as she eases her cock out of you. The loss of it leaves you groaning, already missing the feeling. You clench as best you can just to keep the cum inside to please Ellie.Â
âDonât wanna forget thisâ she states in a rushed manner, scrambling up to grab her phone off her nightstand. She quickly places the camera above you, giving a little âsay cheese!â and awaiting your bright smile before she snaps the perfect pictures of you. Youâre completely fucked out and a total mess, her cum even still dripping out during the photo.Â
You adore when she takes pictures of you, as itâs something special that is only for the two of you. She sets her phone down on the bed beside you, quickly taking off her harness and placing the messy strap onto the dresser so she can deal with it when she wakes back up.Â
And just like that, sheâs back in bed with you, peppering your face with kisses. âTook me so well, baby. Looked so perfect for meâ she praises, her touch feather light as she brushes her fingertips against your soft tummy. âBet you wanna get cleaned up and back to bed, hm?â she questions, knowing you must be exhausted.Â
And you absolutely are, your energy all used up. You nod weakly at her words, pressing your body against hers for more comfort. âJust a quick shower, okay?â you mutter, simply wanting to go back to sleep as soon as possible.Â
Your words make her chuckle and she nods, helping you sit up by keeping you in her arms as she gets upright. âThatâs right, just a quick one and youâre all doneâ she agrees, knowing itâll help keep you in a soothed state.Â
Part of you canât help but be glad this all happened, already planning to wear your skimpiest pair of underwear to bed tomorrow to see just how far sheâll go when sheâs desperate.
#ellie x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams x f!reader#ellie williams tlou
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You Arenât Creating Anything. You Are Remembering Everything.
(manifesting proof since some of yall still depend on the 3d) (boooo)
Re-read the title please. You aren't creating anything. You are remembering everything.
How can you create reality when reality is already created? Creation is finished boo. Donât give yourself that much credit. Stop looking at manifestation as if itâs bringing something new into your life. Itâs âbringingâ you more of you. When you want to experience something, itâs because you already have and you are now remembering what that experience was like.Â
Every time I want to manifest something, I start to question myself on how I got what I manifested.
âHow did that trip to Dubai end up going? I know I had wine and food on the plane but what were the beaches like again??â The picture below was taken when I was on a yacht headed to the beach btw.
Deliberately change the way you speak on the inside and your outer world will shift to your desire. You didnât create your dream car â I mean the car you now ownâ it was created before you thought about having it as yours. Does that mean it wasnât gonna be yours anyways??? No. All your desires exist now because they exist now. There is nothing you can think about manifesting that isnât already in existence. Take that pressure off yourself and realized that you are simply remembering what itâs like to have what is yours. Just like sitting down to remember what elementary school was like when somebody asks you, remember what itâs like and how you felt getting everything you once wanted. Your desires are in the past now and a part of your present. Let's be so fr please.
#itsrlymine#loa success#sucess story#law of assumption#manifest#manifesting#manifestation#loassumption#lawofassumption#void state#shifting#shiftblr#shifting community#shifting blog#imagination is reality#reality shift#success story#pure consciousness#i am awareness#shifters#loa blog#loa tumblr#instant manifestation#desired reality#living in the end
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scary dog privilege - best friend!eren x reader one-shot, 18+!!
hellooooo i have had this in my wips for like two entire months and i am giddy and ready to share it. this hopefully will just be a one-shot, but you guys know i love to create a universe for each of my erens so god only knows where we'll end up with this one. best friend eren appears to be my angstiest, broodiest one yet, and i love him lol. wanted to make some use of classic fanfic tropes, so here we get best friend eren and fake dating!! woohoo!!
beware: this is absolute, pure filth once you get into it lol
pairing: eren jaeger x afab reader
wc: 9.1k
DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.
CWs: smut, consensual hook-up, rough sex, biting, dirty talk, oral sex (fem!receiving), alcohol use, cussing, squirting, penetrative vaginal sex, swearing, use of names (baby, pretty baby, my girl), crying, multiple orgasms, eren being a menace per usual, jean's an asshole (i'm so sorry you guys know i love him but it had to happen)
have fun ;)
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This is a terrible idea, and it had been from the start. You know it and so does he, but you had insisted. Now that youâve made your bed, you have to lay in it, you suppose. You press your forehead to the cold, tinted window of Erenâs ridiculous muscle car, ignoring the vibrations from the rock music heâs blaring and the consistent fluttering in your stomach, and think back to your conversation earlier that week.
âCome on, Eren. Itâs just one night!â
âAnd what about after? When you run into Sasha at the coffee place or Armin after work? Did we just suddenly âbreak upâ?â Eren scoffs, pushing past you to grab a Red Bull out of the fridge. You collapse into one of the barstools in his kitchen, having prepared yourself to accept defeat from the moment you posed the question.
âI just canât face him alone,â you sigh, âitâs only been four months and Sasha told me heâs hooked up with not one, not two, but three girls already. I havenât even had a drunken makeout at the bar.â
âSo? Just because Jeanâs been whoring around doesnât mean you have anything to prove.â Eren's tone is thoroughly unimpressed as he pops the tab to his energy drink.
âYouâre my best friend. I just need one tiny favor.â
âWho would even believe us? Itâs not like itâs a huge party- we know everyone going.â
You cock an eyebrow. âHow many times have Annie and Mikasa tried to con us into a double date? Connieâs been teasing us for years, not to mention the waiter at lunch the other dayââ
âFine!â
âFine?â
âFine. Iâll be your date for one night. But all of the explaining is up to you. And,â Eren takes a sip, leveling a glare at you over the top of the can, âIâm going on the record as saying that this is a bad idea.â
He may be reckless, arrogant, and a bit of a brat, but if Eren Jaeger is one thing consistently, he was right. You chance a glance at your âdateâ. Heâs in his typical uniform: black hoodie, black jeans, the little silver chain he never takes off, key swinging over his chest as he turns the car. He looks good, appealing even. If Jean dares to show up with a girl, she wonât consider you to have downgraded, thatâs for sure.
You consider your own outfit, an anxious fist tightening in your stomach at the thought of seeing Jean for the first time as an ex. He would have hated it. Your nothing-to-the-imagination outfit is all thanks to Sasha.
You had clued Sasha in on the plan; you hoped having one more agent in on your secret would help sell the act. Sasha had gone all out, lending you an incredibly low-cut black top and some black leather pants that would have caused at least a twenty-minute argument with Jean. Had he not dumped you, you remind yourself bitterly. Sasha had insisted you borrow her all-black outfit to match Erenâs typical attire âjust to be cuteâ. In hindsight, her enthusiasm about this whole situation should have been a red flag, but youâve already gotten everything lined up, and itâs too late for regret.
Itâs far too late for hindsight, too; youâre already ten minutes into receiving the official girlfriend treatment from Eren. He had worn you down on picking you up, opening the car door, the works. Hell, you wouldnât be surprised if he pulled out a bouquet of roses at this point. You can hear his obnoxious tone now: Even if youâre my fake girlfriend, youâre getting the full package. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Eren parallel parks smoothly on Arminâs quiet street, unusually busy with the buzz of a house party and lined with your friendsâ cars. Itâs Connieâs birthday, but Armin always hosts. Itâs an unspoken rule at this point; you arenât sure why he keeps volunteering, especially after Sasha had projectile vomited all over his bathroom at the last get-together, but again, dig your own grave and lie in it. You and Armin are in the same boat there.
When the car switches off, Eren takes a moment to consider you, wrapping and unwrapping his long fingers around the steering wheel, a nervous tic heâs had since high school. âYou ready?â
âReady as Iâll ever be,â you sigh, reaching for the door handle. Before you can wrap your hand around it, Eren leans over and pinches you harshly on the thigh. âOw!â
âI open the door, remember?â Eren says, visibly annoyed.
You roll your eyes at him.âIsnât this a bit much?â
âYou think Iâm going to be caught dead letting my âgirlfriendâ open her own door? I have a reputation to uphold.â
You decide to bite back a snippy comment about the many girls who cried over Eren in college and cross your arms over your chest, pouting instead. âFine.â
If Eren can be dramatic, so can you.
As naturally as if he had done it a hundred times, Eren slings his arm over your shoulders on the walk up towards the door; the weight of it, both physically and mentally, is heavier than youâre willing to acknowledge. When you catch sight of Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie peering through the window, a flutter of nerves erupts your stomach; you reach a hand up to play with Erenâs fingers, absentmindedly spinning one of his rings and trying to sell the look as best you can. âWe better pull this off.â
âItâll be fine, just follow my lead.â Eren pulls you closer, kissing your hairline. Goosebumps rise all over your body; not at the action itself, but how disturbingly easy the affection seems to come to him. As Eren knocks on Arminâs bright red door, you pack that thought away and shove it to the back of your mind to collect dust.
âHiâŠguys?â Arminâs friendly smile upon opening the door falters in confusion as he takes you in, absorbing the sight of you two intertwined on his doorstep. Arminâs wide, blue eyes flick between the two of you, and you can see the gears churning in his head, trying to make sense of how awfully close you and Eren are. Pitting your fake relationship against Arminâs intellect is the perfect first test; a nervous sweat breaks out under your skimpy outfit.
âSup, âmin?â Eren smiles back, the very picture of nonchalance, extending his free hand to shake Arminâs shoulder.
âCome on in.â Armin, ever polite, turns to allow for plenty of room for Eren to pull you inside. He doesnât outright ask why Erenâs holding you, but his eyes betray his suspicions. It seems like your plan, as terrible as it is, is working. One down, a dozen or so to go.
Never dropping his arm from around your shoulders, Eren steers you into the living room where one of Connieâs favorite bands is already blasting from the speakers. Annie and Mikasa are curled up together in Arminâs recliner, hands interlocked as usual; Sasha and Connie are positioned at Arminâs bar cart, violently shaking two cocktail shakers apiece; Reiner, Bertholdt, Marco, and Jean are on the couch, arguing over something sports-related. With a sinking stomach, you notice that thereâs only one unoccupied seat left in the room.
âMy two favorite lovebirds!â Sasha cries, abandoning her cocktail shakers and rushing over to give you a hug. Upon Sashaâs impact, Eren drops his arm and grabs your hand thatâs closest to him as a substitute, never taking his hands off of you. His actions are pointed, purposeful; every pair of eyes in the room looks between the two of you in surprise. You can practically feel a hazel-tinted laser beam burning a hole into your forehead. âYou guys are so late; honeymoon phase gotcha already?â
âLaying it on a little thick, Sash,â you whisper into Sashaâs ear, cheeks burning. To your chagrin, Eren only curls his mouth in response.
âWhat?â Connie frowns, still shaking his drinks. âHow long has that been a thing?â
You pause, your heart nearly stopping. You should have made up a story, you realize, something to explainâ
âJust a few weeks.â The still-strange weight of Erenâs arm around your shoulder returns, and his jade eyes rest on you, adoration beaming through his always-cool gaze. Against your will, butterflies start dancing in your stomach; apparently Erenâs quite the actor.
âYeah,â you jump in, grateful for Erenâs lead, âwe just wanted to feel it out before we told everyone, thatâs all.â
âSasha knew.â Mikasa raises a suspicious eyebrow. Annie smirks at the two of you, a knowing look on her face.
âItâs about time.â Marco appears from the kitchen with a huge bowl of tortilla chips in one hand and salsa in the other. âGood for you guys.â
You canât help yourself, finally meeting Jeanâs eyes. Heâs openly scowling at you, which is to be expected; where Eren is a criminally smooth liar, Jean wears his heart on his sleeve. You recognize that face all too well: anger to mask heartbreak, the same face he wore when you used to fight. For the first time, it occurs to you how cruel this plan might be, how Jean might react to you moving on with a mutual friend. Guilt washes over you, cold and heavy.
âThanks for giving me a heads-up before you moved in on my fucking girlfriend, Jaeger,â Jean snips, taking a long swallow of his beer.
The guilt drops away from you as quickly as your jaw; youâve forgotten what a prick Jean can be. Eren has been slowly guiding you over to the singular remaining seat throughout the conversation, and after Jeanâs comment, he tugs you down firmly onto his lap. He rubs a large palm over your thigh, a blatant gesture of ownership.
âNot your girlfriend anymore, Kirschstein.â You can hear the distinct note of pride ringing through his voice, hear the nasty look leveled at Jean without turning to face him. Itâs been fifteen minutes of fake dating, car ride included, and you can already feel the friendship line blurring. Your head spins.
âAnyway,â Armin, ever the gracious host, interrupts, breaking the awkward tension that has settled over the room, âwhat bar does everyone want to head out to later? Connie gets the first pick, being the birthday boy.â
The conversation in the room picks back up into a familial bickering over the eveningâs next destination. All of your friends have become accustomed to the occasional awkward moment over the years now that some of you have begun to couple up; Mikasa and Annie especially are notorious for bickering like an old married couple, no matter whoâs around.
âI need a drink,â you murmur to Eren, moving to stand.
âDo you mind getting me one, babe? Donât want to lose our seat.â Eren pecks you on the cheek, smiling up at you as if everything about your situation right now is normal, natural for him. Jeanâs eyes follow you every step of the way, and your face burns.
Over the years youâve been friends with him, itâs never been lost on you that Erenâs attractive, not after the dozens of women he ran through in his college years. Peeking over your shoulder now, however, feels like youâre seeing him for the first time, seeing him the way the world sees him. Heavy-set dark brows frame his bright eyes beautifully, his jawâs grown sharp and severe, and his lips are soft and pouty, stretching into a wicked smirk with sharp canines. He had grown into a heartbreaker, and heâs your best friend and now fake boyfriendâ you swat away your private admiration as soon as it comes, taking a deep breath to center yourself and rifling through the bar cart in a daze.
âWant me to make you one?â Sasha waves a bright red concoction under your nose. âConnie and I made them- it has three different types of liquor in it, and you canât taste any of it!â
One sip of the tiny cocktail straw has your nose wrinkling in disgust. Youâve worked behind a bar since the day you turned twenty-one, and the drink Sashaâs offering you tastes like an overly-syruped nightmare. âUmâŠno, thatâs okay Sash. Iâll probably just stick to beer.â
Connie sticks his tongue out at you. âBoring!â
Predictably, Sasha pouts. âOkay, but weâre definitely making you take a shot. We can chill it in the kitchen, want to help me get some ice?â
Holding up a bottle of tequila, she cocks her head toward the kitchen and wobbles her eyebrows madly. You almost laugh; anyone who canât pick up on a hint from Sasha is walking around with earplugs and their eyes closed.
âFine. Let me just grab Eren a beer, and Iâll meet you in there.â
âUgh, couples,â Connie rolls his eyes, wandering over to fiddle with the dusty karaoke machine that Armin claims broke years ago. Youâve always been dubious as to the truth of that, but knowing your friends, you canât blame him.
Opening the cooler, you smile to yourself; Armin remembered your favorite IPA from the brewery down the road and stocked the cooler accordingly, nestling a few Hazy Dazeâs between Reiner and Bertholdtâs domestics. You pick your way through the haphazard seating arrangements back over to Eren, holding a cold Budweiser bottle towards him. He pauses in his conversation with Reiner, grabbing your hand that holds the beer and removing it from your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips, brushing them over in a light kiss. He looks you up and down lecherously as he does it, a dangerous curve to his lips.
You return a weak half-smile, doing your best to not appear outwardly shaken by Erenâs behavior and keep the what the fuck? thoughts from showing plainly on your face. Eren waves you off to the kitchen with a light pat on your bottom, innocent as ever.
âHowâs it going?â Sasha asks, safe now in the privacy of the kitchen. Her face is already full-flush with excitement and that awful cocktail she was sipping.
âI mean, it seems like everyoneâs buying it. Jean looks pissed, though.â
âWhat were you expecting? Heâs always thought Eren had a thing for you.â
âEveryone thinks Eren has a thing for me,â you roll your eyes, âat least itâs working in my favor now.â
Sasha fixes you with a glare, wobbling slightly. âIf you donât think Eren actually has a thing for you, you must be blind. Deaf, too.â
âSashaââ
âI mean, even if you hadnât told me, I would have fallen for it. Is it not, like, weird for you guys? That itâs just natural for you two toââ Sasha burps, interrupting herself, and giggles. âJust makes ya think.â
âSasha!â Connie calls from the living room. âLetâs do Eye of the Tiger first!â
âWoo!â Sasha shouts, abandoning you and running into the room to take part in the newly-revived karaoke festivities.
You stand alone in the kitchen, shell-shocked by Sashaâs observations. The truly irritating thing is that sheâs entirely right. Not only do Erenâs little kisses here and there, the constant touching, even the pet names come naturally, it almost feelsâŠnice. Itâs as easy for you to receive his affection as it is for him to give it. You peek around the corner, grimacing at Sasha and Connieâs amplified wailing, just wanting to look at him. Really look at him.
Kicked back, beer in hand and jacket thrown over the back of his chair, Eren oozes charisma. Even doing nothing but holding a conversation with Mikasa, the room gravitates around him. Jeanâs angry glare never leaves him; Armin has switched to drinking Budweiser, even though you know he hates it; Annieâs nodding along with whatever Erenâs saying; even Sasha and Connie are angling their performance around him, alternating between singing together and holding their microphones towards him, trying to elicit a reaction. He has this undeniable magnetic force, one that you arenât exempt from.
Youâd met him nearly a decade ago, in high school, and initially couldnât stand him. His hair-trigger temper had hardly cooled with age, and his ego had gotten unthinkably larger, but you grew to find both of them charmingâ to a degree. One thing led to another, and before you knew it, Eren was the one cleaning you up and getting you drunk after every bad breakup, introducing you to all of your favorite sports teams and lending you jerseys for the games; hell, he even read that smutty fairy fantasy series youâd been obsessed with in college. Had the man you attempted Star Wars marathons with until you both fell asleep really looked like that the entire time?
He catches your stare, beckoning you over with one long, crooked finger. As his girlfriend for the night, you have to obey, even though you would much rather roll your eyes at the cliche.
âMissed you,â he mumbles as you sit back on his lap, breath hot against the shell of your ear.
âYou too,â you respond accordingly, wrapping your arm lovingly around his shoulder. Erenâs eyes flit down to your cleavage, but knowing him, itâs impossible to discern if itâs part of the act, or Eren being himself.
His hands rest comfortably over the casing of your pants, one on your thigh and one on the small of your back, one thumb rubbing circles into your soft flesh. Reveling in the drag of his rings over your clothed body, you couldnât help but wonder how theyâd feel on your bare skin, on your throat, on yourâ
Surprising yourself at the dirty direction of your thoughts, you swallow your beer too quickly, coughing. Eren, who had coincidentally been taking a sip at the same time, laughs at you mid-sip, choking beside you and spraying beer out of his nose.
The entire room bursts into laughter; Eren regains his composure and joins in good-naturedly. You giggle along, relief coursing over your body. Sure, Eren might look a little extra handsome tonight and be a bit touchy because you asked him to, but heâs still Eren.
âTheyâre practically in sync already.â Hitch, Marcoâs girlfriend who had apparently joined the party while Sasha and you were in the kitchen, rests her face on her hand dreamily.
âItâs a little freaky,â Annie observes with narrowed eyes, but the slight curve of her lip betrays her. Not only were they believing your little farce, but they were happy for you. Thatâs enough to make you flush a little, realizing how naturally everyoneâs just accepted your fake relationship. Everyone but one person, at least.
Jean suddenly stands, ripping a beer from the cooler and storming into the kitchen. The laughter dies as quickly as it had come, everyone exchanging nervous looks.
âIâll go talk to him,â Eren offers, nudging you off of his lap. You blanch.
âEren, I donât know if you should-â
âItâs fine,â Eren drops a soft peck on your forehead, walking away before you can stop him. You meet Mikasaâs eyes, wide and concerned. To everyone else, Erenâs walking calmly, not a hint of aggression in his gait. But you know him, know him well enough to catch the anger simmering in his eyes, quiet, but there.
Jean and Eren have always been friends, albeit reluctant ones at first, but too similar where it counted not to get along. That had abruptly come to a halt when you had fallen for Jean. At first Eren had been confused, but over time that confusion had melted into constant irritation. Jean and you were wrong for one another, you know that in hindsight, but at the time, you had chalked all the fighting up to a passionate relationship. The constant tears had driven Eren nearly to a breaking point; multiple times you had begged him not to bring his frustration to physical blows. And now, your fake-boyfriend slash best friend and ex-boyfriend with the two worst tempers out of everyone you know are âtalkingâ. You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek to keep the worry in your chest.
âAre you alright?â The question comes from Armin, whoâs placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. âIâm sorry that Jean isnât taking the news well.â
âThereâs no news,â Mikasa says low enough for none of the others to hear over the music, now standing directly behind Armin.
A neat little cross appears between Arminâs eyebrows. âTheyâre-â
âFaking,â she interrupts Armin, âthey arenât dating.â
Armin stammers, trying to correct her and apologize to you for her at the same time, but you just sigh. âHowâd you know?â
âOne of you would have told me,â she shrugs, âor at least Iâd like to think you would.â
âItâs justâŠI couldnât bear to show up alone, not with Jean here and apparently sleeping around since the breakup.â You cross your arms over your chest, grabbing your own shoulders tightly. Itâs your fault, you know it is, but you had only wanted to feel a little less pathetic, a little less heartbroken. Drama had been an unfortunate and unexpected side effect.
âWhy would Eren agree to that? It seems silly,â Armin muses, noticing your glare and immediately turning bright red, âI- I donât mean youâre silly, just, you shouldnât-â
âYou know.â Mikasa bumps him. The slightest hint of a smile plays on her face, a knowing look directed at you. You frown, trying to look confused through the pink rising to your face.
A loud crash from the kitchen catches all of your attention, saving you from an uncomfortable line of conversation but making your heart beat that much faster. Dashing to the kitchen door, the entire house party hot on your heels, your thundering heart sinks.
Eren has Jean pinned up against Arminâs cabinets, forearm tight against the other manâs neck. Jeanâs still seething at Eren, raw ego washing against the cool anger blazing in Erenâs eyes.
âNeed to learn how to watch your fucking mouth, Kirschsteinââ
âEren!â Your voice is surprisingly firm, given the nauseating mixture of embarrassment, confusion, and panic swirling in your stomach. âLet him go!â
âDo you want to tell her what you said, or should I?â Eren hisses, nudging into Jean further. Jeanâs eyes dart to you, back to Eren, and for a fleeting moment, you have hope that maybe this all can be resolved peacefully. And then Jean makes a fatal mistake.
He spits directly in Erenâs face.
Just as Eren swings, Reiner collides with the two, just barely catching Eren by his forearm before he can make contact with Jeanâs cheek. Bertholdt, as always, is Reinerâs shadow, grabbing Eren by the shoulders and wrenching him away from Jean. It takes Connie, Reiner, Marco, and Bertholdt to restrain both of them, Armin standing in the middle and shouting how ridiculous the fight is above the curses.
âItâs my fucking birthday, Jean, come on bro!â Connie growls, pinning Jean to the cabinets with his back.
âJaeger- back off!â Reiner manages to pull him back a few inches, hardly able to contain Eren, whoâs struggling furiously, in his massive arms. Jean finally relents, slouching into the multiple arms holding him back. After several seconds, Eren does the same, never taking his eyes off of Jean. Into the shocked silence, Armin bravely speaks first.
âMaybe we should leave,â he suggests awkwardly, âtake the party elsewhere.â
You pity him, poor Armin and his hosting inclination. Eren finally turns to face you. The wrath laid bare in his eyes sends a chill over your body.
âWe are,â he spits, sparing Jean one last threatening glance before storming over, grabbing you harshly by the wrist, and practically dragging you towards the door.
âEren, waitââ you try to reason with him and dig your heels in, but itâs fruitless. Erenâs strong, stronger than you, and you donât stand a chance stopping him now that his mindâs made up.
He doesnât drop the act at the car, ripping your car door open, waiting impatiently for you to step into your seat, and slamming the door behind you. As soon as he turns the ignition, the same angry rock music you had listened to on the way over blasts from the speakers; Eren makes no move to turn it down and neither do you. After so many years together, his temper rarely scares you anymore; itâs more of a nuisance than anything when it flares. You stare out of the window, seething with anger, arms crossed and foot tapping.
Five minutes into the drive, you realize Eren isnât taking you to your house, but to his. What heâs thinking, you canât be sure, but you go ahead and start making your plans to give him an earful and call your Uber the moment you get there. You just canât wrap your mind around why he would attack Jean and embarrass you like thatâ Eren may have been a hothead, but rarely did he let his temper escalate to that degree, especially against a friend.
Eren whips his car into the driveway, parking with such force you nearly knock your head against the headrest. You reach for your door handle, ready to throw it open, but Erenâs faster. He hits the child lock button and slams his own door behind him, storming around the car.
âThe fucking child lock button?â You leap out of your seat once heâs opened your door, glaring up at him with your fists curled by your sides. âIs that what I am, Eren, a child?â
âCome inside.â Erenâs voice is low, dangerous. Youâre too angry to indulge his temper.
âNo,â you snap, âIâm going home.â
No sooner have you pulled your phone out to call an Uber than Eren snatches it from you, sliding it into his pocket. He repeats himself, more forceful this time. âCome inside.â
You stand rooted to the spot for a beat, so angry you arenât sure what you want to do more: run home, punch him, or kick his precious car headlight in. Eren simply glares down his strong nose at you, face unreadable as ever, rage still glittering in his eyes.
âCome inside, please,â Eren repeats himself again through gritted teeth. You decide youâll indulge him and go inside, hear him out, and then punch him. At least itâll catch him off guard, and youâll have a better chance of getting your shot in. Without another word, you stomp up the walkway to his house, into the house, and into the kitchen, shoving your shoes off. Stupid fucking kitchens, you think to yourself, kicking your bare foot against the base of his kitchen island. Immature, but the little burst of violence feels good.
Whether Erenâs house smells like him or Eren smells like his house youâve never been able to decide. The distinct scent of him envelops you: a boyish, sharp smell, laced with a hint of the weed he kept in the living room. Ordinarily itâs a comforting smell, but tonight, it nearly makes you sick with irritation. Fighting with Eren is something you do rarely, but you know the both of you well enough to buckle down. Arguing with Eren means you have a long, nasty, and emotionally gutting night ahead of you. Youâre more than ready, fists shaking by your side.
âWhat the hell was that, Eren?â
He doesnât answer, swinging the fridge open and grabbing a beer. He twists the top, tossing it aside carelessly and taking a healthy swig, bun bouncing on the back of his head, making no move to acknowledge your presence.
âAnswer me!â Your voice rattles the cabinets. âYeah, was the fake dating a stupid idea? Sure, fine, it was stupid, but starting a fucking fight with Jean on poor Connieâs birthdayââ
âYou didnât hear what he said,â Eren says simply, still chugging his beer and avoiding your gaze.
âWhat could he have said to make you do that? What was so awful that you had toââ
âIt was about you.â Eren finally brings his eyes to yours, staring you down through the little hairs that have escaped his bun with such intensity that it nearly knocks you clean on your ass.
Your heart stutters. âYouâ what did he say?â
âTold me if I wanted to taste your âslutty pussyâ so bad, I could just smell his breath. Sâwhy he spit in my face.â Erenâs fingers wrap and unwrap around the beer bottle anxiously.
Your mouth drops agape, tears immediately springing to your eyes. No, you set your resolve, praying your body cooperates. âHeâŠhe said that?â
âWhy didnât you tell me youâd been fucking him?â Eren spares you another scalding look. Your temper flares at his anger, one fire against another.
âExcuse me?â
âDonât play dumb,â Eren snaps, âthis whole thing was your idea. What am I to you, just some toy you can dangle in front of your pussyboy ex boyfriend? How long have you been fucking him?â
âI havenât been fucking him,â you hiss, âhe lied because he was jealous. And youâre not some toy, youâreâ youâre my best friend. I needed you.â
Eren freezes, eyeing you across the kitchen. His expression has changed, infinitesimally so, a pinch of the fury fading from his face but none of the heat. It strikes you that in the years youâve known him, heâs never looked at you like this before, not once. âSay it again.â
âYouâre myââ
âThe other thing.â
âI needed you.â
âAgain.â
âI neededâ fuck, Eren, what is this? Some kind of game?â
He stalks toward you, silhouetted by the light behind him and looking sinful, closing you in. Heâs forceful and shameless as he backs you into the counter, as quintessentially Eren as he can be. âSay it one more time.â
âIâŠneeded you,â you indulge him, brain slowing down to pick up each little detail. His cologneâ when did he start wearing cologne?â musky and thick in the air, one of his tattoos peeking above the collar of his shirt, the tangible sensation of emerald eyes dragging along every inch of you.
âI like the way you say that,â his tongue darts out, wetting his lips. You stare blatantly. His mouth is red, pouty, and full, bottom lip a little chapped from where he was chewing it in the car. âThat you need me.â
Words are lost on you; even if you could gather something to say, it would probably get stuck in your throat the moment it materialized. His presence is choking you. He brings one of those massive hands up, cupping your jaw, running a thumb over your lip. His posture, looming over you, is demanding, almost hungry.
âDo you still?â
âStill?â
âNeed me.â
You blink, eyes still watery. âHow?â
âYouâre a smart girl,â Eren murmurs, hot breath laced with beer fanning over your face, âyou know. Youâve always known.â
You do know. When he ghosted a hand over your thighs at the bar, when you fell asleep on his chest watching a movie, the way he had kissed your head, nearly fought Jean, protected you at every twist and turn. You had kept it relegated to the recesses of your brain, slid a hand between your legs and allowed it to simmer to the surface, maybe for a moment, before pushing it back down. You had always known. He has you on the edge of a cliff, and with a thin gasp, you understand him now: he wants you to jump. And so do you.
âI still need you. Now.â
Something critical snaps in both of you. The countertop digs into your lower back, a beautiful, aching pain blooming up your spine to meet the sting of his teeth sinking into your bottom lip. Heâs kissing you; this magnetic, maddening man is kissing you, hard. Itâs all tongue and teeth, fingers wrapping in hair, hands exploring familiar places in a new way. Greedy, demanding sounds slip through his teeth as he paws at your clothes, squeezes your curves through the silken shirt Sasha had lent you.
âThis shirt is ridiculous,â Eren pants into your mouth, âwish I wasnât about to rip it off of you.â
A little whimper leaves your mouth at that, and your knees buckle. Eren catches you, grabbing you by your torso and lifting you up onto the kitchen counter; you use the extra height to wrap your legs around his hips. A groan from deep in Erenâs chest rumbles against your lips as he rolls his clothed cock insistently against you. The low, simmering heat in your stomach catches fire; heâs big, even through both of your pants, rubbing himself into where you need him most. A hand creeps up your neck, grabbing a fistful of hair and forcing you to look up at him. It hits you how large he is; six feet and some change of taut, corded muscle, bad intentions, temptation.
His voice is quiet and controlled, so close to your face that his nose moves against yours as he speaks. âIâm going to take you to my room. If thatâs not okay with you, I need you to say it right now.â
You nod urgently, relishing the burn in your scalp where he holds your hair tight. âI want it- want you.â
Eren slides you off of the kitchen counter and holds you firmly around his waist, making a beeline for his room. You mouth at his neck, enjoying the little grunts he makes against your ear. You drop unceremoniously onto the bed, left to watch as he tears off his shirt.
Oh, and do you watch. Itâs difficult to comprehend that your best friend is the man standing above you. Youâve seen him shirtless countless times, but not like this: chest heaving, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, muscles flexing as he reaches for your shirt, ripping it from you and tossing it away. Your eyes draw towards the defined v leading down beneath his jeans, and you wonder how it might taste under your tongue.
Your bra comes next, Eren moving down to take your lips in his again as he deals with the clasp. He pushes you onto your back, kissing down your neck, sneaking harsh bites in between the gentle presses of his lips.
âCareful, Erenâ youâll leave marks,â you gasp, pulling at his hair.
âGood,â Eren replies against your neck, emphasizing his point with another deep bite to your neck, âyou wanted everyone to think I was your little boyfriend, didnât you? Let them see.âÂ
Your panties grow damp and hot against your core at that; you have no other response than to choke out a stunted moan.
âFuck, you have no idea,â he growls, traveling down, teeth scraping the top of your breast, âwhat you do to me. How long Iâve wanted you.â
Your mind falters, caught in the crosswires of Erenâs confession and the way youâre clutching his head to your breasts, fingers desperately threaded in his dark hair and pulling him as close as you could get him. His mouth is so hot it burns, even against your feverish skin.Â
âRememberâŠâ Eren muses, mouthing his way down your stomach, âremember college? When youâd wear those slutty little dresses out?â
âI remember,â you breathe, impatient and urging him towards your lower half.
âUsed to come home from the bar and jerk myself off, thinking about this sweet little cunt,â Eren tears your pants down your legs, panties following, âcould practically see it in those short ass dresses. Iâd cum thinking about how youâd sound when I stuck my tongue in it.â
A lewd whine rips out of your throat before you can stop it. Erenâs pressing your thighs open now, and his words and the quick little swipes heâs making across your clit are making you dizzy.
âFuckâŠâ Eren trails off, eyes wide, âgot such a pretty pussy. Just look at you.â
âEren, please,â youâve never been the begging type, but the bright green eyes peering up at you from where your legs are propped open by broad, strong shoulders take your sense away.
âIâve got you,â he shushes you, grinning as he leans into your center. A thick stripe of a lick up the center elicits a groan from you both. âSo fucking sweet. Knew you would be.â
Eren hooks his arms around your legs, dragging you down the bed to be flush with his face. Erenâs no amateur when it comes to women, you know that, but you had never dared to let yourself imagine what that might translate to in practice.
He licks little figure-eights around your clit, not quite hitting it; heâs teasing you, the antagonist that he is. You tremble under him, little gasps and whimpers puffing out of your lips. Eren smiles contentedly against your pussy, nose flush with your clit, nudging against it rhythmically as he licks through your folds, circling your entrance. You bring your hands down your body, grabbing a fistful of dark hair and pulling him closer to you; you donât even know what you want, the singular word more ringing in your head like a church bell.
Eren chuckles. âYou need something?â
âStop fucking with me,â you breathe, inwardly cringing at the desperation in your voice, laid bare for him to see. You brace yourself, looking down to meet his eyes, and instantly regret it. The anger has faded entirely from his face, replaced by an unyielding hunger. A wet, wicked smile plays at his mouth; you can physically feel your cunt dripping just at the sight of him.
âYou want me to stop fucking with you?â
âPlease, Eren, I need youââ
âThatâs all you had to say.â
And then, like he does with everything else in his life, Eren licks into you like his life depends on it, like heâs trying to drown himself in you. His tongue pushes in and out of your hole, swirling around your clit, and you can distantly hear the most obscene sounds youâve ever heard slipping from your mouth. Heâs so good, better than youâve had in years; you throw your head back against the bedspread, hardly able to focus on breathing.
Just when you think it canât get any more intense, Eren slides one long finger inside of you, curling it against a spongy spot in your walls that makes you see stars. He chuckles at the loud, long moan that you let out.
âMy girl likes being full, doesnât she?â He pumps his finger slowly, testing your limits. Your walls clutch down on him, begging.
âM-more,â you stutter, barely able to form a coherent word through your panting.
âWhat was that?â You can hear the shit-eating grin on his face.
âI needâ fuckâ I need more.â
âMagic word?â
âPlease, Eren, fuck!â
âGood, good girl,â he coos, pushing another finger into you, âso sweet and needy for me, yeah?â
Your eyes fly open at the stretch, the fullness of his fingers moving inside you. His other hand comes up to push on your lower stomach; your head snaps up, and you frown at him, panicked.
âW-what are youâ oh,â you hate yourself for it, but you canât even speak as he applies pressure onto your abdomen. You feel strange; itâs just right and too much all at once. The familiar bubble of an impending orgasm swells in the pit of your stomach, but itâs more intense, wetter than youâve ever felt it.Â
âClose?â
âMhm,â you force out through gritted teeth. Eren moves his elbow slightly, just enough to bear down on your hip bone where youâre pushing your hips up towards him unwittingly. âBut it- it feels weirdâŠI, I canâtââ
âSh,â he murmurs, mouth back against your clit, âyou can do it, just for me, I know you can. Itâs going to feel so good, youâll see.â
Your eyes roll back in your head as you teeter on the precipice, blood roaring in your ears. You want to, you need toâ
âCum all over my fucking face baby, give it to me.â
The band in you snaps, your eyes rolling back into your head. You can feel your cunt spasming around his fingers, pushing something out. Liquid sprays from you, all over Erenâs face, soaking the sheets beneath you. You canât even hear the lewd sounds coming out of your mouth, too surprised at the gushing orgasm. It finally winds down, and once you gather the energy, you shove insistently at his hand still pumping in and out of your sensitive pussy.
âYou have the messiest little cunt,â Eren chuckles at you, wiping his face and kissing his way back up to your gasping mouth, âknew you were a squirter.â
He lands a few gentle taps against your sore pussy, and you flinch.Â
âIâIâve neverâŠâ you take a shaky breath in between every word, ânever done that before.â
Pride illuminates his face. âReally? I knew you could do itâ just for me, right?â
You nod, sitting up on trembling elbows. âYour cock, Iâ I want it in my mouth. Please let me.â
You reach down to fumble with the button of his jeans, but Eren grabs your wrist, pulling your hand up to kiss it gently. âNext time. Iâd never forgive myself if I busted before I got to fuck you.â
Too overwhelmed to answer, you simply nod again, sitting back as he shimmies his pants off. Once you catch sight of it, your mouth waters. Heâs big, bigger than you thought, wide enough to where your fingers wouldnât touch if you grabbed it, and long enough to make you gag. The thought goes straight between your legs, cunt still throbbing and clutching around nothing, and a rush of anticipation washes over you.
Eren flips you over onto your stomach, shoving a couple of pillows underneath your hips to prop your ass up. âChrist,â he exhales, landing a sharp smack to your ass.
âPlease, Eren- oh!â You jump; Erenâs circling your asshole, using the mess youâve already made as lube to pop the tip of his thumb in. âErenâŠâ
âYouâd let me fuck you there, one day, I bet,â he mutters, more to himself than to you, you think. Your body tenses in response, the memory of your first glance at his cock fresh in your mind. Eren swears under his breath. âMaybe next time, then.â
You hear him spit, hear the slick sounds of him lathering himself up. You have a brief moment to think to yourself, with the last glimmering shreds of consciousness in your orgasm-dazed mind, that this is Eren. This is your best friend, pinning you to the bed by the back of your neck, rubbing your lower back, admiring you, fucking you. And then the head of his cock is pressing into you, and that last little bit of hesitation gives way.
âOh, baby,â Eren bends over you to growl in your ear, ânever gonna forgive you for keeping this perfect pussy from me all these years.â
âEren, itâs soâ oh my god,â you trail off, eyes rolling back into your head as a few more inches of him sink into you. The way your body stretches for him, the way he fills you, is unbelievable, sweetened by just the slightest burning sensation.
âFuck,â he hisses, pressing his forehead into the back of your neck, âyou feel so fucking good. Best Iâve ever had.â
You whine at that, pushing your hips back into his and forcing him to bottom out. Eren swears against your skin, nearly collapsing on top of you. Your cunt pulses around him, desperately trying to hold him. You can hardly fathom the weight of him inside you; youâre just so full, the word runs through your mind on a loop.
And when he rolls his hips into yoursâ you nearly start praying. He drags against your walls so nicely, you nearly cum again then and there. He works up a torturously slow rhythm, grinding his hips into yours. You bite down hard on your bottom lip, trying your hardest to suppress the obscene groan about to leave your mouth. You taste blood.
âNever giving this pussy up,â Eren grunts above you, ânever letting you give this to anybody else again. Itâs mine, isnât it?â
You nod into the pillow beneath your head, tears pricking at your eyes. Heâs picking up the pace now, and the exquisite push-and-pull rhythm of Eren moving inside of you coupled with the fact that itâs Eren moving inside of you is destroying any semblance of intelligent conversation you can muster.
âSay itâs mine,â his face is beside yours now. A hand grabs your hair, turning your face towards him. You know how dazed you must look, mouth open in a permanent gasp, eyes watery and full of hearts. âGod, you look fucking incredible. Say it.â
âMyâŠmy pussy is,â you swallow hard around the delicious knot of shame in your throat, âyours. Itâs yours.â
âThatâs my girl,â Eren sits back up, thrusting even faster, âmy pussy, my girl. Isnât that right?â
âYes,â you pant, canting your hips back against his, feeling your next orgasm approach embarrassingly fast. Eren understands, already knows your body as well as he knows you, and moves the angle of his hips just so to hit that spot he had found so quickly with his fingers earlier. You keen, drooling into the pillow, letting him fuck you stupid.
Eren shoves you over the edge for the second time that night. Itâs toe curling, almost violent in nature, the way you cum around him, listening to him hiss as you tighten around him, vice-like. He fucks you through your orgasm for just long enough to see you through it, and flips you onto your back the moment you begin to twitch and shove at his hips, desperate for a break.
You slowly blink your eyes open in surprise, letting the tears roll down your cheeks, expecting to see Eren lining himself up, ready to fuck you senseless once more. Instead, heâs studying you, wiping a tear from your face, licking it off of his finger. Thereâs a moment happening here, an important one, one you donât have the mental capacity to absorb right now.
âI want to see you now,â Eren says quietly, âneed to see your pretty face when I cum, mâkay?â
You nod dumbly, not knowing how to respond to him in the thick air hanging between you. Before Eren can get any more words out of his open mouth, a loud ring startles you both.
Your phone is buzzing on the floor where it fell from Erenâs pocket; the name on the screen nearly stops your heart. Jean.
You stare into Erenâs eyes, a long, silent beat passes between you both. Your hazy mind is scrambling, grasping at anything you can say to take his mind off of the awkward interruption, but to your surprise, Eren cracks a grin. Itâs a wicked grin, prettier than the devil himself and twice as evil.
âYour other boyfriend calling? Checking up on you?â
âHeâs not my-â
âBetter not be. Not after what I did to you tonight,â Erenâs voice drips with ego. Something in his eyes is territorial, carnal.
You find your words, but they come out quiet. âHeâs not. Never again.â
Erenâs grin grows darker. Heâs nudging your knees apart with his own, reaching down and pulling one of your legs to wrap around his waist. Heâs pushing himself in now, the ringing of your phone fading into the background as the all-encompassing stretch of Eren inside you takes over your thoughts.
âSuch a good girl,â he coos, thumbing at your bottom lip, âsuch a good mouth. Always telling me what I want to hear.â
You nod again, urgently this time, pulling your other leg up to hook them around his waist, hold him inside you, make sure he never leaves again. Youâre addicted already; addicted to the pressure in your abdomen, addicted to the way his tip kisses your cervix, addicted to the taste of his sweat as you lick a strip of it from his face, cheekbone to temple.
âIâŠâ you arenât sure how to articulate how good it is, how good he is. A defeated laugh of your own making interrupts you. âYou feel so fucking good. I feel so fucking good right now.â
âGod, just look at you, all fucked out for me. You love it, donât you?â Eren kisses your forehead, face to face with you after propping his elbows on either side of your face. âLove how I fuck you like a whore, donât you? Tell me, baby.â
âI love it,â your voice is quivering, and youâre vaguely aware of tears streaming down your face. Youâre overstimulated, you at least know that, but he just feels so good that asking him to stop seems more painful than letting him keep hammering into you.
âMy pretty baby, youâre so fucking perfect,â Eren rambles, âso pretty when you cry for me.â
You canât break away from his gaze, not through the tears or the rapid-fire speed of him fucking into you. Your legs are shaking so badly you can barely hold them up; Erenâs letting a flurry of little grunts and groans fly out, grabbing onto your cheek with one hand.
âGonna cum soon,â he huffs, hips still pistoning into you hard enough to hurt, âgonna cum in your pussy, really make it mine, okay?â
âOkay,â you whimper, clamping down on him at the mere thought of it.
âFuck, you like that donât you?â He seethes against your forehead, thrusts beginning to falter. âYou want to be mine? Want this pretty cunt stuffed full of my cum?â
You can feel him getting closer now, sloppy thrusts punching into your cervix, the ache of bruises forming on your inner thighs as he uses you, chasing his orgasm. You force your eyes open, meeting bright, hypnotizing green. Your voice is going to break, you know it, you hate it, you love him for it. âIâ I want to be yours. P-please cum in me Eren, I need it.â
He slams into you one last time, holding his hips as tightly to yours as he can manage, cumming deep inside you with a breathless curse. You arch your back, relishing the feel of his cum in you, warm and filling. Even in your fucked-out mind, you know itâs a lot; you can feel the drip of it, seeping out around his cock and down onto the sheets. The leaden collapse of his body into yours, the gradual softening of him inside you, grounds you, pulling you down from the clouds and back into the bed.
Itâs Eren on top of you, sweaty skin clinging to yours, his cum that you begged him for leaking out of your abused pussy. Your eyes shoot open. Heâs incredibly heavy, your breath still coming out in short puffs as you try to catch it. He slides out of you; one last pitiful whimper leaving your lips as you find yourself empty.
âHoly shit,â Eren breathes out into the tension, a humorless and exhausted laugh punctuating his statement. As he rolls off of you, youâre overcome with the urge to smack him.
âThatâs one way of putting it.â You scrounge around in the bed, trying to find the edge of the sheets to cover yourself with. Eren lays beside you, arm tossed over his eyes, as if the entire axis of your friendship hadnât just flipped on its head. After a beat, you speak your mind, testing the waters. âI should probably call Jean back.â
That catches his attention. Eren sits up, scowling at you. âWhy?â
âMaybe he wants to apologize.â
Eren snorts, rolling off of the bed and pulling you up with him, bridal-style; you arenât sure where heâs taking you, but all the fightâs been fucked out of you, and you melt into his arms, eyes falling closed. âWho fucking cares?â
âI might,â you answer quietly, adjusting to the heat radiating off of his body. When your eyes open, you realize heâs carrying you to the bathroom to clean you up. Your heart thuds sadly in your chest, overcome with so many emotions you couldnât begin to name them if you tried. You almost want to cry again, for a different reason now.
Eren sits you on the toilet, not responding to your small confession. He drops to his knees before you, reaches a long arm behind him over to the fixtures on his obscenely large bathtub, pushing the plug in and turning the water on. You draw your knees up to your chest, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed. Satisfied with the water temperature, Eren turns back to you, one hand placed firmly on each of your kneecaps.
âYou donât need him,â he says, solemn as youâve ever seen him, âand from what I saw tonight, you donât even want him. You know that now, right?â
Thereâs something about the way he says it, a hidden thread of pleading woven into his words. Your exhausted brain holds onto that, but your heart refuses to believe in it, broken and beating wildly in your chest.
âI justââ
âI meant it, you know,â Eren avoids your direct gaze, eyes flitting over every feature on your face, âIâve been thinking about this for a long time. Meant every word of it.â
You pause, wondering absentmindedly if he can hear the pounding of your pulse. âReally?â
âWe donât need to get into it now,â he shrugs, âbut you know that. You know Iâd do anything for you. You know Iâd treat you well. âM not a bad guy.â
Your chest aches. âI know, but Erenââ
âSo that wasnât the best sex youâve ever had in your life?â He fixes you with a singular, raised eyebrow, so serious that you giggle in his face.
âYou might have me there.â
âBetter than horseface?â
âWatch it.â
The light returns to his eyes; it loosens a hard little piece in your chest, flooding you with warmth. It hits you just how much you love that little sparkle amongst the green, just how much you would give to see it as often as you can. âWe wonât talk about it, for now at least. Iâll get us cleaned up, and we can go watchââ
âMamma Mia,â you blurt, hopeful.
âNo fucking shot. But we can watch something else of your choosing, if you let me eat you out again.â
âEren!â You smack his shoulder, scandalized. Both of you laugh; your fake outrage is twice as funny considering the state of you right now, smeared makeup and bruises on your neck.
He grins crookedly back at you. âThatâs not a no.â
#aot x reader#eren x reader#eren jaeger x reader#eren yeager x reader#eren jaeger smut#eren x you#eren yaeger x you#eren yeager smut#aot fanfiction#eren jaeger fic#eren jaeger fanfiction
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Pairing: Logan Howlett ("Worst" Wolverine) x f!reader
Rating: Explicit (for themes and smut).
Word count: 16.6k
Summary: At the edge of the world, someone from another keeps you from stepping off.
Tags/Warnings (Please, read the warnings!!): Post-Deadpool & Wolverine, female reader (female anatomy etc + 2 mentions of hair long enough to fall into your eyes), strangers-to-lovers, depression, suicidal ideations, suicide attempt and mentions thereof, addiction, drinking alcohol, drugs (mentioned not used), panic attacks, sobriety meetings, anxiety, recovery, co-dependency vibes, sprinkles of soulmateism, explicit smut (oral and unprotected PIV), happy ending (yay!!). If I forgot anything, please let me know!
Notes: Deadpool and Wolverine re-triggered my X-Men obsession and what started as a means to write some smut actually became this idea about two broken people who shouldn't even have met in the first place finding each other. There's a lot of me in this story, more than there's ever been I think. I'm sorry for this glimpse into my head, and I'm sorry if this isn't as Reader-insert as it should be, but... I'm not that sorry, you know. Huge thanks to @javier-pena , for not only reading this over and fixing so many embarrassing mistakes, but also for saying she'd read this even if it was 20k words and always believing in my abilities as a writer, even when I sometimes didn't.
If you want to read the smut as a standalone, you can! Just CTRL + F (or search in page) for 'Logan reaches for' and read away.
THE LOOKOUT
With closed eyes, you inhale the cool, December air, before looking down at your feet. Here, at the edge of the lookout, the grass has been trampled. You imagine friends taking bets on who dares get closest to the edge, lovers making memories, families taking pictures. Itâs strangely soothing that maybe youâre not the first to stand here to do this.Â
Far below your feet, the water laps at the rocks. The force of it depends on the weather and tonight itâs violent, with big splashes and crashing sounds. The wind tugs at your coat, pulling you towards the water as if to help you along, making you look up again as you hold your balance. In front of you, the line of the horizon is dark but visible â it would have been impossible to make out if the moon hadnât been as bright as it is.
Itâs like youâre looking at the edge of the world.
During the weeks that fall had made way for winter, you scoped the place out a couple times. The first time you stood at this cliffâs edge, the place it took you to mentally scared you so much that you got back into your car and broke down in tears. The next couple times, things became more and more serious, as your life crumbled around you, and your feelings numbed, and nothing seemed to matter anymore.
Something had crept in while you werenât looking, settling somewhere behind your eyes and spreading out to make a home behind your ribs, slowly but surely changing you. And once you realized it, it was already too late. It had grown large, became jilted and jealous, like it wanted all of you. It pushed away everyone and everything you held dear, until it was just you and that⊠something.
Especially during the quiet of the night, the lookout became soothing, a strange sense of familiarity enveloping you each time you were here. It was addictive and pretty soon, it became a daily routine to visit. But lately itâs been losing its shine, your feelings here dulling and darkening too. Youâre exhausted, fed up, tired of giving it more of you.
Today you want it to be your last time here.Â
Youâve had countless hours to contemplate what it would be like, imagined â all but romanticised â how the cold water would paralyse your limbs if the impact wouldn't do the trick. You read somewhere that itâs apparently like falling asleep when the water finally fills your lungs. Youâll be gone, but the thing will be too.
The thought makes your eyes fill with tears, but not from fear. All you feel is relief, like itâs right, how itâs supposed to be. It makes you smile despite everything, andâ
âHey, stop!â
A voice behind you thunders through the silence and makes you shriek into the night, dirt toppling over the edge of the lookout below the shuffle of your foot. A string of curses follows, heavy footfalls behind you indicating that the intruder is approaching you.
âFuck off!â you throw over your shoulder, your voice a roar with how itâs amplified by the wind.Â
After, your throat closes up, fighting the angry tears over the fact that you canât even fucking kill yourself in peace. Never have you seen anyone here at night, never. What you hate even more is how it breaks your momentum. The haze that was surrounding you is pierced, and your bodyâs baser instincts kick in. Adrenaline suddenly pumps through your veins, making your legs tremble, your heart hammer, your body scream for you to step back from where youâre standing. Your anger, however, has you nailed to the floor.Â
You almost miss the much softer, âHey,â as a man steps into your peripheral vision. You pretend like you donât hear him, or see him â you simply pretend he isnât there, focussing on getting back into your previous mindset.Â
But then he takes his hands out of his pockets.
âDonât fucking touch me,â you warn, hating how your voice comes out trembling â weak.
âEasy.â He holds his hands up in surrender. âWasnât planning on it.â
You stand there together for what feels like hours. You will yourself to not let it affect you, setting your jaw to keep your teeth from clattering on account of the cold, allow the wind to blow your hair into your eyes without brushing it away. Even when it begins to rain, you donât move, donât blink even once more than you need to. From the corner of your eye you watch the man shove his hands back in the pockets of the brown leather jacket heâs wearing, and you quietly celebrate that your surroundings are fazing him more than they are you.
âYou knowââ he begins.
âIâm not really looking for a conversation.â
âMe neither,â he immediately counters, suddenly impatient, âso Iâll get right to it: You planning on jumping? Because if you think the waterâs gonna be nice to you, youâve got that wrong. Youâll end up in there feeling everything, that fall isnât gonna do shit.â
Having expected a gentle approach, his bluntness and his tone knock the wind out of you. You cock your jaw, the shame creeping up your body the first bit of warmth youâve felt in a while. Your cold fingers ball to fists as you will yourself not to care. Yes, his words and the way he's shatterĂng your expectations with them sting, but you donât even know this guyâ
âAnd thereâs nothing fuckinâ peaceful about it, itâs just panic. Right before you go too farâŠâ He raises a fist and holds it against the center of his chest, â...thereâs this burning right here thatâs hell.â
âAnd what makes you such an expert?â you finally spit out.
âDied like that a couple times,â he says without waiting a beat.
The casual statement of something so bizarre beats your resolve before you know it, your head turning in his direction. ââA couple timesâ?â
âI, uhâŠâ You watch him hesitate, the moonlight illuminating the tick of his jaw, the bob of his throat as he swallows, the way his chest falls as he sighs, âLetâs just say I canât die.â
Before you can stop yourself, you snort at that. âThat must fucking suck.â
He barks out a laugh, âGot that right.â It startles you when his head suddenly turns to you, when he looks you in the eye for the first time. âBut trust me, being down there isnât much better.â
Thereâs something in the way he looks at you that makes you waver. You canât really place it, or decipher why it makes you want to open up to him. Maybe itâs because youâre freezing and itâs your body betraying you, tricking you into moving so you can generate some warmth, moving your lips to keep them from going blue. Or maybe itâs simply because heâs a stranger and itâs so much easier to be honest when there are no consequences.
âThings just feel soâŠ,â you begin, voice shaky. Every possible way to end the sentence crosses your mind, seemingly all wrong, before you settle on whatâs closest to how you feel, âendless.â
To your relief, he doesnât say anything. Doesnât tell you to give it time that it will get better, or any of the other bullshit youâve heard from all the other people that had been in your life and left a long time ago. You do find something else in the shift in his eyes, something you havenât encountered before.
Understanding.
It might be worse. If anything, itâs overwhelming, making your eyes dart away from his as you sniff.Â
The wind still tugs at you, the waves still hit the rocks, but your moment seems to have passed. Itâs a sobering conclusion, a twisted version of wrong place, wrong time. Or maybe it was him who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, the outcome is the same.
You take a step back, and another, but it takes considerable effort; you hadnât taken your numb legs into consideration. You stumble, falling back on the dewy, cold grass, not quick enough to catch yourself on your hands. With a groan, you move to sit upright.
âShit. Hey, you still with me?â The stranger kneels next to you, fingers lifting your chin to look into your eyes. âJesus, youâre fucking freezing.â
âNo s-sh-hit,â you retort.
He sighs, offering you a hand so he can pull you up. âCâmon, let's get you warmed up.â
â â â â â
Logan.
Thatâs his name.Â
Itâs how he introduced himself, anyway, after he suggested you follow him. To his credit, he did offer to drive you, but you didnât want to leave your car in the parking lot of the lookout. Logan waited 15 minutes for you while you put the blowers on the highest, warmest setting and waited for the feeling to return to your limbs. After, his brown truck led the way here â here being some hole in the wall, 24 hour diner. You could have not followed, but the drive was kind of mesmerizing; the night seemed darker than usual, and Loganâs tail lights served as a lighthouse.
Outside, the diner is all Christmas lights and flashing signs, but the interior is like something straight out of Twin Peaks; booths to the left, red barstools to the right, a girl that looks too pretty and too young to be here standing behind the counter. There were two other patrons you spotted along the way as Logan led you to one of the back booths. Once seated, Logan studied the pamphletsâor pretended to, more like, because as soon as the waitress came up he ordered two whiskeys and nothing else.
Between then and now, as you nursed your drink sip by careful sip, you hadnât learned much more about him other than that he could knock back a glass of whiskey like he got paid to do so. And in truth, you like it this way; preferring silent company, the droning of the machinery behind the counter and the quiet hum of a song on the jukebox next to the entrance. The white noise helps to distract from the white noise in your head. Settling back into the leather cushions of the booth, you let some warmth seep back into your body. Opposite you, Logan does the same.Â
Some moments after you finish your drink, one of the waitresses walks up to your booth to ask you about a refill, like sheâs asked Logan twice now. Youâre handing her the glass when Logan says, âSheâs had enough.â
Your head whips from her to him. âExcuse me?â
He doesnât say anything, and from the corner of your eye, you see the girl leave. With your glass. Loganâs is on his lips, his eyes observing you over the rim, looking at you like heâ Dammit. You sigh deeply, a sense of anger filling you. You donât need this, least of all from him. When you stand from the booth, those eyes follow you, making you voice your observations,
âQuit pitying me, Logan.â
âIâm not,â he says before taking another sip. âYou still have to drive.â
You quirk an eyebrow at him. âAnd you donât?â
Logan shrugs. âItâs different for me.â
Anger is still prevalent in your voice when you ask, âWell, let me guess, itâs another case of âI died like that a couple timesâ?âÂ
He hums.
âAnd how does that work?â
âRegenerative ability,â he sighs. Another sip before he elaborates, âX-Gene.âÂ
The admission makes you plop back down in your seat. Well, that explains things â heâs a mutant. Youâre not familiar with that world, but you know enough to know it meant that. It isnât like you couldnât have deduced it before, but truthfully, you kind of thought he was bullshiting you as part of some tactic. Now, his actions and words make more sense: He really knows what itâs like to... Thatâs why he had that look on his face. Suddenly, you see him in a different lightâ
âNow whoâs pitying who, hmm?â Logan asks, giving you a thin-lipped smile that doesn't reach his eyes as he sets his glass down on the table.
âIâm not, Iâm just⊠processing. So this...â you lift his glass, swirl the contents around, â...doesnât even affect you?â
âIt does. For a few seconds.â He plucks the glass back from your hand, and throws the whiskey back with one gulp. His pupils dilate, pushing the hazel of his irises out until his eyes are almost black for a second, two⊠before going back to normal. âBut if I chugged the bottle, Iâd pass out.â
âWell, so would I,â you say with a chuckle. âSo maybe weâre not that different after all.â
Just as the corner of his mouth lifts, your smile falls, because⊠it isnât true; youâre very different. Youâre pretty sure you donât have what it takes to do what he did tonight. To care enough to do it. To sit with a stranger and hear them bitch and moan about being denied a drink. A feeling creeps up on you, sticky and uncomfortable, like youâve overstayed your welcomeâburdened him.
âI should head home,â you say, standing again.
Lightning fast, Loganâs hand shoots out to close around your wrist. âThat really where youâre going?â
âYes,â you reply. When you pull your hand back, he doesnât let up. You fish your car key out of your pocket with your free hand, voice tighter when you say, âLet me go.â
âJust promise me something,â he says, eyes as dark as theyâd been earlier, yet his drink has gone untouched since. âDonât go back there again.â
âNot making promises I canât keep,â you say, giving him a wry smile. âTo strangers, but least of all to myself.â
He sighs, and lets you pull yourself from his hold.
THE CRAVING
New Years comes and goes, and you quickly discover that it was foolish superstition to think that it might change how you feel.
You find yourself in some club, a drink in each hand. You hate to admit it, but Loganâs words scared you out of your original idea and the only time you can bear to think of how to move on from it is when alcohol soothes the embarrassing grief of your shattered, macabre fantasy. Itâs not a good way to deal with things, but it works.
Thereâs a part of you that welcomes feeling anything at all, but that⊠something inside you is busy trying to squash it.Â
Itâs getting somewhere, because you have no idea how much youâve already had to drink, but youâre buzzing pleasantly. Adding to it, you knock both drinks back, slamming the glasses on the bar before spinning around and facing the crowd of dancing bodies. The music sucks, the dance floor is cramped, youâre tired⊠The truth is that youâre too old for this, but itâs easy to escape here, surrounded by strangers. You clumsily drag the back of your hand over your wet mouth, push your sweaty hair from your eyes, and join them.
The past couple weeks, you found yourself craving something. Contact. And here is where you can get your fill; a hand on your waist, lips on your ear, the music too loud and yourself too drunk to even comprehend whatâs being said, but never more. You want them to get close, but never too close.
After some time â could be an hour, could be 10 minutes â you make your way to the bathroom. Itâs quieter here, the dulled thump of the music making the time you spend there feel slow and syrupy.Â
When you exit the stall, you bump into someone.
Itâs a man. The dark hood over his head obscures his eyes, but you canât help but think heâs looking right at you when a bright, almost unnatural grin appears on his face. It draws you in like a magnet, more so when he says, âNeed something to take the edge off?âÂ
Curiously, you watch as he opens his palm, long fingers unfurling slowly until they reveal a small plastic bag in his hand.Â
âFirst timeâs on the house.â
You have no idea what it is exactly, but your eyes widen. This is new territory for you, and all the possibilities it opens up are suddenly invading your mind. As if on auto-pilot, you reach for the place where you keep your money, the sound of the door opening completely lost on you.
A hand closes around your bicep, pulling you aside with a quick yank of an arm.
âShe isnât interested, pal.âÂ
Itâs another man, who effortlessly tucks you half behind him. Before you can protest beyond an indignant huff, thereâs a sound, like a sword being unsheathed, and you catch a flash of red, and of knives. Frowning, you try to get a better look, but your view is obscured by the manâs shoulder. The hooded man seems undeterred, regarding the weapons with the same sickening grin, before leaving the bathroom, muttering something that you donât understand on the way out. The sword sound returns, the man twists around, andâ
âLogan?â you slur in disbelief.Â
Logan doesnât reply, instead takes hold of your arm again, making you follow him out of the bathroom. There he stops the two of you to murmur something to a woman wearing the same clothes as him, before tugging you along again. Youâre stumbling after him on account of his pace and the iron grip he has on you as he leads you to the back door. He pushes it open with enough force to make the hinges creak, a gust of wind blowing in your face. Itâs a contrast to go from the crowded, sweaty club to the silent, cold back-alley where tall brick walls and employee cars cage you in. You shake your arm and Loganâs grip loosens â another and he lets you go.
âHow did you even findââ You cut yourself off, eyes widening, âOh, my god, are you following me?â
Logan scoffs, narrowing his eyes. âOh, please, do you think I have time to follow you around all day?â
âYouâre here, arenât you? You and your fuckingâŠ,â you gesture wildly into the air at him, âsavior complex.â
âI work here,â he growls. When you give him a look, he adds, âItâs temporary. âSides, me and my savior complex are the reason that creep isnât selling god knows what to you in that bathroom right now!â His voice is a roar, echoing off the walls around you.
âMaybe I wanted that creep to sell god knows what to me in that bathroom,â you say, doing a poor impression of his voice, before turning and walking away from him.
Logan sighs. âWhere are you going?â
âIâm leaving.â
âAnd then what, huh?â
âI donât fucking know, Logan,â you say, twisting around to face him again, arms spread out by your side. âFigure out a new way out of this.â
âYeah? Third timeâs the charm?â
âWhy do you even care, huh? You donât even know me,â you say. Almost immediately, you let out a bitter laugh as your own words hit your ears, a sad realization dawning on you. âBut I guess that makes two of us.â
Itâs not like you expected him to, but he doesnât answer.
âYou know I used to like myself? I used to smile, I used to have friends, I used to be more sober than drunk. But this feeling, it takes⊠everything.â You raise a fist, hold it to the center of your chest. âIt takes everything I love, pushes away everyone I love, including myself. It eats me up, and wants more and more, until Iâm something Iâm not and until Iâm so far away from that version of myself, my old self, that it feels easier to just fuckingââ you pause with a wet gasp for air.
âDestroy yourself,â Logan finishes for you.
Your chest heaves, an unshed tear clings to your lash line. âExactly.â
He takes a step closer to you. âLet me take you home,â he says, voice gentle.Â
You should hate the implications of that gentleness, but you donât. In your drunk state of mind, itâs easier to admit itâs nice that someone understands, that someoneâs there to stop you from going too farâŠÂ
Tomorrow, when some of your pragmatism returns, youâll deny this embarrassing thought ever occurred; if relying on other people worked, it would have worked a long time ago, and you wouldnât be standing here with him. If youâre lucky, you might even forget this entirely, and wake up with a hangover that youâll enjoy a little too much because it feels like a punishmentâ
âWhat about your job?â you ask with a sniff.
Loganâs palm finds the space between your shoulder blades with a gentle push, the warmth of it seeping in through your clothes, and he leads you to his truck. âTheyâll manage without me.â
â â â â â
When you wake, your world is tilted sideways, a blanket is pulled up to your chin and there's a pillow under your head. Theyâre not your own; the blanket is itchy and the pillowâs too small. When you try to move your legs, they stick uncomfortably to the material below them, and you realize youâre on a leather couch. You squint at the light that comes in from a window across from youâ
âMorninâ, sunshine.â
The voice startles you, eyes shifting to focus on the source: A man lying on his front on the floor, chin in his hands as he kicks his feet back and forth in the air.Â
âWish I could say itâs a pleasure, but it hasnât been very pleasurable. Youâve been barfing up the place since the moment you stepped inside. Kept poor Al up all night. Her ears are sensitive,â he adds with a whisper. âBut donât worry, she left about an hour ago.â
âWho are you?â you slur, blinking against the light.
âLogan.â He sighs when you frown. âI know, not how you remember. This is what I look like during the day; blessed with incredible good looks at night and, well,â he gestures at his face thatâs covered in scars, "this, during the day. Bit of a reverse Princess Fiona situationââ
âCut it out, Wade,â comes the sharp protest from next to you. With considerable effort, you turn your head and see the actual Logan, slumped back in a recliner next to the couch, rubbing some sleep out of his eyes while motioning for the other man to go.
âIâll let you two talk.â Wade winks.
Logan stands when Wade does, walking from your field of view. Your head is scrambling to catch up, trying to piece together what happened last night, but only coming up with bits and pieces.
âHow are you feeling?â Logan asks as he makes his way back to you, handing you a glass of water.
You flinch when the front door closes behind Wade with a bang, before taking the glass from Logan and taking a few thankful sips. âLike shit.â
âYeah,â is all he says as he sits back down.
âWhatââ
âYou fell asleep in the car. Didnât know where to take you, figured the couch was the safest place.â
âOhâŠ,â you say, voice small.Â
You try not to think about being so wasted that you had to be carried out of Loganâs car, or about what Wade said earlier about the things that happened as soon as you stepped inside the apartment. During your silence, Loganâs fingers fiddle with the armrest, before his hand balls into a fist, and it unlocks something in your hazy memory.
âI have the weirdest memory of you having⊠a sword?â
You watch as Loganâs lips purse in amusement. His tongue rolls around in his mouth, seemingly contemplating something, before saying, âYou probably saw these.â He holds up his fist, flexing his forearm before three blades shoot from between his knuckles like claws, accompanied by a shing!
âJesus fucking Christ,â you startle, spilling some water on your blanket. Your head spins with your hangover and the bizarity of the situation. If it didnât sound so much like how it did in your memory, you might think you were still drunk.Â
Thereâs so many things you want to ask, your intrigue almost winning out over your hangover until the sharp start of a headache gives you pause. Instead, you take another sip of water before rubbing your temple.
âItâs a story for another time,â Logan says, like he can read your mind, and you want to ask him that, too. His claws retreat, the cuts they leave between his knuckles immediately smoothing over until theyâre gone. âI gotta go check if I still have a job.â
The words make you feel warm all over, the memory of your back-alley conversation coming back in full force. The thought of the things you admitted to him and that you put him in the position that he had to risk his job for you make you feel even warmer, your gaze no doubt laced with embarrassment and worry when you look at him.
ââS not your fault,â Logan assures, standing and fishing his car key from the pocket of his jeans. âYou donât have to rush but um, make sure you close the door behind you on the way out. Gets jammed sometimes.â
âYeah, okay,â you say, watching as he makes his way to the front door.Â
He takes a final glance at you over his shoulder, then leaves, accompanied by a bang.
THE PUZZLE
It takes you a little over a week to muster up the courage to go back. Admittedly, your courage is aided by another, foreign feeling. You donât have a name for it yet, or maybe youâre afraid to call it what it is, but somewhere along the week, you became consumed with the thought that feeling like you did wasnât all there was. That there is something beyond this.Â
Perhaps foreign wasnât the right way to describe it, because it is something youâve felt before â itâs just been long dormant. The last time, it lasted about a month before it all came crashing down, and you swore you wouldnât fall for it again, but you canât help it. The feelingâs too sweet, and the idea that thereâs still some baser instinct willing you to keep fighting for yourself makes you feel like the sun is shining on you.Â
So yeah, maybe youâre just having one of your good weeks, where the thing sleeps â quiet while its presence still simmers. But you figured nowâs your chance to take advantage of its unguarded moment.
Sneaking into the building is surprisingly easy. It helps that it isnât anything fancy. You wanted to forego the humiliation of ringing the bell and him not letting you in, but standing in front of the door now, panting after climbing three flights of stairs, you donât know if this is much better.Â
Just when youâre about to knock, the door swings open. In the opening, Logan has one arm in his jacket, head twisted to watch the other thatâs caught halfway in the sleeve. It takes him almost bumping into you to realize your presence. âShit, sorry.â He steadies himself with a hand on your arm, the touch leaving you as fast as it appeared.
âHi,â you breathe, taking a step back to give him a little more space.
He nods in greeting. âBrings you here?â
It takes you a moment, caught off guard by him skipping over pleasantries and cutting right to the chase, despite your best intentions; itâs not that heâs ever been any different in his interactions with you.
âI came by because I, um, owe you an apology, for my behavior at your workplace and for, you knowâŠ,â you trail off, gesturing at the door.
âBarfing up the place!â comes a shout from inside the apartment.Â
Loganâs eyes close with a sigh, before he steps into the hallway with you and closes the door with a bang.Â
âThat,â you finish sheepishly. âIâm really sorry.â
He nods in acknowledgement.
âI also wanted to ask, um, if you want to come with me to get a coffee. To make it up to you.â
Logan just looks at you, the leather of his jacket creaking as he crosses his thick arms in front of his chest. He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly. You hate how he somehow can see right through you, how he makes you elaborate, and honest.
âI want to quit drinking,â you say, fiddling with the sleeve of your coat. âIt doesnât make me better, and when I donât do it I finally feel a little⊠normal. Maybe coffeeâs technically just as bad, but itâs the only thing thatâs currently acting like⊠like a reverse gateway drink? And I feel like youâre the only person I know that might get that feeling ofââ
âI do,â Logan cuts in, voice softer than before â assuring. His arms drop from where theyâre crossed and he starts making his way to the stairs. âLetâs go.â
â â â â â
You donât know this coffee place, and from the way he looks around and shifts around in a chair that might be a bit too small for him, neither does Logan. Main reason you picked it is because the booths remind you a little too much of a bar â and you like the tall windows. The coffeeâs pretty decent.
âDid they fire you?â you ask, picking at a loose corner of one of the laminated menus before setting it back in its holder.
âBoss commended me for helping a customer, but not so much for leaving before my shift ended,â Logan replies. âGot off with a warning.â
âIâm sorry.â
âSaid that already, and I accepted,â he says. When he takes a sip of the coffee, he winces. âNo need to worry about it anymore, okay? I would do it again.â
You nod, folding your hands around the warm cup in front of you.
âBut, um, Wade hasnât shut up about⊠the incident.â Thereâs a different tone to his voice, like heâs trying to lighten the mood. âHis words.â
âYou know, I kind of get the feeling that Wade doesnât shut up about a lot of things.â It comes out a little meaner than you intend, but it makes Logan laugh and finally slump back in his chair a little.Â
âYouâre a quick study.â
Offering him a short smile in return, you continue with the other real reason you came to see him, before you chicken out. âI also stopped by because I wanted to, uh⊠because I realized I never really⊠I never⊠I never thanked you, for um⊠Andââ
With a shake of his head, Logan sits upright. âYâdonâtââ
To your horror, your eyes brim with tears, âLogan, Iâm supposed to be deadââ
âSo am I,â he counters. He lets the words hang between the two of you for a moment, until you look at him, before he continues, âIâve been where you are. Past it, even.â
You donât know what to say to that, if the lump in your throat will even permit you to speak, but itâs impossible to look away from him. Loganâs gaze is piercing, frown ever present, but itâs not from anger. Instead, itâs like heâs searching for something, the right thing, to say. The silence doesnât bother you; if anything, it makes his words seem more genuine when he does speak,
âI had someone who was annoying enough to not give up on me when I could really use it. If getting a coffee with you thatâs, franklyâŠ,â he makes a face as he pauses, âa horrible excuse for a coffee, helps⊠I can do that. I want to do that.â
The corner of your mouth lifts as you blink away your tears. âWas it Wade?â
Logan lets out a chuckle, and itâs honest â fond. âYeah.â
âFigured,â you say. âHow did you meet him?â
Across from you, Logan stills. You swallow thickly, adjusting yourself in your chair. Itâs an innocent question, but maybe it isnât something heâd like to revisit right now. Loganâs mug squeaks when he grips it tighter, and he looks at you with something like defeatâÂ
It makes you deflate. This must be what you looked like the night you metâŠ
Thereâs no way to have prepared for what he tells you next: That he came from another timeline about three months ago, that he and Wade saved this one from being destroyed and almost got killed in the process, that he has nothing to go back to after the death of his team, so he stayed here.Â
Thereâs hesitation in it, like he isnât telling you the whole story, though you donât comment on it. He doesnât owe you anything and youâre too busy putting all the pieces in the Logan-shaped puzzle in your mind together; his words and actions towards you are starting to make more and more sense.
âItâs a very brave thing the two of you did,â you say when heâs finished.
âHmm, it was all Wade,â Logan muses. âHe did it all for the people he cares about.â
âIâm sure you would have done the same if you were in his place.â
At that, he lets out a dry laugh with absolutely no joy behind it. âDo me a favor, donât put me on a pedestal.â
You frown, but before you can comment, he stands. A knot forms in your stomach, worried youâve offended him, but he clears up the uncertainty immediately.
âI gotta go but um, Wadeâs friendsâ,â he stops himself, correcting, âour friends are coming over to watch a movie, next week, 7:30. I have no idea what crap theyâre going to be watching but⊠itâs nice. Itâll be nice to be around good people.â Logan doesnât wait for your answer, simply takes his wallet from his pocket and leaves enough money to cover the bill.
âWait, no, I invited you,â you protest. âI shouldââ
âYou can pay next time.âÂ
When you nod, he says his goodbyes with a jerk of his head and makes his way to the door.
â â â â â
You see Logan two more times for coffee that week. He never lets you pay.
THE PANTRY
ââbut itâs the best one!â Wade protests, DVD in hand.
âThey fly a car into space, Wade,â Laura sighs.
âLaunched off a jet,â he corrects. Like it helps.
You cover your mouth with the back of your hand, hiding the smile that appears at everyoneâs babbling. Unbeknownst to you, you had found yourself invited to a double feature night, with Wade as the self proclaimed DVDJ. The credits had barely started rolling on A Good Day To Die Hard, or Wade had another DVD at the ready. It was met with the same amount of enthusiasm as when he presented the first.
It hadnât been easy to make yourself go to this tonight. On your way, youâd thought of turning around at almost every step. Of course, that was all before you knew it would be this fun, and that youâd be relieved you hadnât canceled last minute. Even meeting everyone hadnât been as bad as you feared.Â
Thereâs Peter, Wadeâs friend. Ellie, another one of Wadeâs friends. Yukio, Ellieâs girlfriend. Laura, Loganâs daughter. Mary Puppins, Wadeâs small, disgusting but adorable dog, who had greeted you with equal amounts saliva and enthusiasm, before falling asleep next to the TV, completely unbothered by the commotion. Unlike Althea, Logan and Wadeâs blind roommate, who had taken one listen to the gaggle of voices and left. The elusive Vanessa, Wadeâs ex-but-we-might-get-back-together you heard about a couple times, wasnât there.
Logan had been right, it was nice to be surrounded by good people. Especially good people who were⊠unconventional. It made joining them less complicated, less performative, and as the evening progressed it made you a participant instead of a silent observer. Wade even called you, âgood for the group dynamic,â and it made you beam with pride.
âDonât they have like, rockets attached to the car?â Ellie questions, to which Yukioâs eyebrows knit together.
âExactly!â Wade exclaims, mistaking her confusion for enthusiasm. âCitizen Kane wishes.â
Thereâs more grumbling from everyone when Wade pops the DVD into the player, and he grumbles something back about how Logan would back him up if he wasnât in the bathroom because he, quote unquote, goes way back with some of these dudes.
Youâre pretty sure heâs the only one who knows what heâs even talking about.
An empty bowl of popcorn rests in your lap, and as you put it on the table, you notice how sticky and greasy your fingers and palms are. When the opening credits begin to roll, you get up to wash your hands, assuring Wade he doesnât need to pause the movie before you go.
The apartmentâs small, so it isnât far to the kitchen, but itâs nice to stretch your legs. You can still hear the sounds from movie night; tell-tale action movie music, comments of disbelief and Wade shutting them down. Theyâre more faint, though, more so when you turn the tap on and wash your hands.
Right as youâre finished, you hear a dull thud. You turn the water off, head tilted and at attention while you dry your hands. Thereâs another sound, like a muffled groan. Itâs coming from the pantry, you realize, noting that the door is slightly ajar. Thereâs a shing! sound followed by a distressed grunt, and before you know it youâre walking over, wrapping your fingers around the door to pull it openâ
Youâre not sure what it was you were expecting, but it wasnât this. Loganâs sitting on the floor, uncharacteristically small, curled up against one of the walls. His chest is heaving, shoulders all but going up to his ears with how heâs trying to draw in breaths. Next to him, his fist is balled against the hardwood, claws buried in the floor.
Fuck.
Dropping to your knees, you wedge yourself between his. âItâs okay, youâre having a panic attack,â you explain, your hands landing on his shoulders with a light shake. âYou need to breathe. Iâll help you, just look at me.â
Loganâs head stays tipped down, a deep, rattling breath sailing from his mouth as he curls further in on himself.
âHey!â you say sharply, cupping his jaw with two hands and tilting his face up, âLook at me.âÂ
Loganâs eyes are wet when they meet yours, moving frantically as they search your face, tears spilling over when he blinks. Something changes in his gaze, like he finally sees itâs you, and his bottom lip begins to tremble. His hand lifts from where itâs buried in the floor, clutching onto your wrist like a lifeline.
âBreathe,â you instruct, trying not to flinch at the sharp claws in front of you. He doesnât catch on immediately, so you overdo the purse of your lips when you blow out a breath before exaggerating an inhale through your nose, showing him what to do. It starts off shaky, a fresh set of tears falling from Loganâs eyes as he does as you instruct, but after a couple of times you find a rhythm together. The silver between his knuckles slowly disappears. âThere you go, good job. Keep going.â
You sit like that, until the wild shift of his eyes stops, his pulse steadies beneath your fingertips, and eventually his eyes close with a deep exhale. His grip on you loosens and you take it as your cue to let go of him, slumping back against the wall opposite him with a sigh of relief. The both of you catch your breath, sitting together in silence until Logan breaks it.
âCame outta nowhere⊠suddenly I was back there⊠letting them down.â
âIt caught you off guard, it happensââ
âI let them get killed,â he says, voice raw. âThey were likeâ They were my family, they trusted me to be there for them and I⊠I was too caught up in my own bullshit. I should have been with them, I should be dead with them.â
Loganâs tears still come, but the words almost sound reverent; as if saying them out loud just to punish himself with his own shortcomings is a balm. Heâs talking about his team from there, you realize, and something clicks. All this time, you thought this was about him being unable to die due to his mutation, but itâs more than that. Itâs shame, remorse, grief, survivorâs guilt, all wrapped into one.
Itâs the final piece of your mind puzzle that makes his picture appear.
âHowâ How can I ever atone for that?â he asks. âHow can I everââ
âLogan, you can't change your past,â you interrupt carefully. âYou made your choices and they made theirs, and you honored them byâ byâŠstepping up to the task, by doing what you did with Wade.â
âWhat if it wasnât enough?â
âWhat if it was?â you counter. Your hand finds his knee with a squeeze, before adding, âYou did what they would have done. And now you⊠you need to allow yourself to honor their memory without feeling like you have to destroy yourself to do it. You deserve that.â
Logan blinks at you, eyes still glossy. He looks devastated yet calmer than before, like the emotion is still there, but displaced. For a good while, you sit with him like that while his sniffles lessen and his breathing returns to normal⊠until thereâs a loud explosion coming from the living room. Itâs followed by cheers and hollers, and youâre both suddenly reminded of where you are.Â
âCâmon,â you say, patting Loganâs knee before using it as leverage to haul yourself up with a groan. You give him room by holding the door open for him. âBetter get back before we miss the good stuff.â
Still on the floor, Logan exhales heavily. âThink this was the good stuff.â
â â â â â
Three weeks later, on your way to your third movie night, you catch Wade and Vanessa making out in the building hallway.Â
It stops you dead in your tracks and makes for an awkward meeting with Wadeâs mystery woman, who is beautiful but very direct when she asks you what the fuck youâre staring at. Wade certainly has a type when it comes to the company he keeps⊠He quickly shushes the situation, introducing the two of you, and it immediately makes Vanessaâs expression twist into recognition.Â
âNice to meet you,â she says, followed by an apologetic smile.Â
You respond in kind.Â
When Wade tugs at her jacket impatiently, they brush past you and make their way to the exit. âSee you around!â she throws over her shoulder.
A grin forms on your lips, realizing what you just witnessed, and you race up the stairs. With Wade gone, youâre not sure if there will be a movie, but at least you have gossip to share with your friends.
THE MEETING
April flies by, rolls into May, and thingâs are⊠okay.
With some help, you find a therapist. Itâs good, sheâs good, but itâs difficult to be confronted with things that are painful, week after week, and to keep reminding yourself itâs all part of the process youâre going through.
Last week, after a particularly difficult session, youâd left her office being auto-piloted by dark feelings, like they knew exactly when to strike. You had turned corners and crossed streets, wandering as you stewed on everything youâd discussed â like your mind was playing a constant loop of your most painful moments. It was a small miracle you had heard your phone, and that you had the presence of mind to thumb the green button.
Youâd answered without saying a word.
âGot any plans?â Logan had asked on the other side of the line.
âNo,â youâd replied, coming back to yourself a little bit at the sound of his voice.
âAlâs making her meatballs â she and Wade canât agree on if theyâre famous or infamous. Thought you might like to come. If it tastes like shit, weâll order in.â
Youâd hummed, managing to ask, âWhat time?â
It had stayed quiet on the other end, and thatâs how youâd known he was onto you, could picture the pinch of his brows, his lips forming a thin line. For the first time, you welcomed itâwanted so badly to reach through the phone, shake his shoulders, ask for his help and accept it, like he had done with you weeks ago.Â
âSounds to me like now might be good.â
âYeah,â you had agreed, the constricting tightness in your chest easing up. âYeah, Iâll be there soon.â Youâd released a shuddering breath, ear still pressed to the phone as you took in your surroundings before you auto-piloted yourself to a different destination.Â
âLogan?â
âStill here.â
âThank you for calling.â
ââcourse. Get here soon, Iâll stay on the phone.â
The afternoon had ended with Logan and yourself allowing Althea to boss you around in the small apartmentâs kitchen, rolling meatballs, sharing stories â Altheaâs recollection of something that happened to her in her 20s that involved her stealing a police horse while wearing nothing but a thong, made you cry from laughing.
The meatballs were the best you ever had, though you couldnât be sure if they actually were, or if it was just the taste of the moment that was better than anything had been that day.Â
Sometime after dinner, Logan had nudged your shoulder to show you a little plastic chip. He flashed it at you long enough that you could read the words one month, before he pocketed it again. Then he suggested you come with him next week.Â
âI thought it was bullshit too, but it helps,â heâd explained. âFigured I couldnât continue to drink whatever that stuff is you call coffee to⊠avoid my problems.â
You contemplated his suggestion. Things were going well for you in that regard, but your therapist had also recommended you go to one of these things, even if it was just for the community aspect of it. It just made it so⊠official. Your problems, but most of all, your recovery. You werenât good at keeping promises to yourself, and this felt like a big commitment. Not to mention the speeches and other peopleâs problems...
But as Logan told you more about it, the location, how it had been for him, you sensed something else between the lines: He wasnât just asking for you, he was also asking for himself. Maybe⊠this was his way of telling you he needed some support.Â
Thatâs how you find yourself inside a high school gymnasium a week later. Itâs as gloomy as you expected. Slick floors, gray fold-out chairs set in neat rows, buzzing lights in a high ceiling, and a slightly raised podium with a whiteboard that reads a welcome message in capital letters.Â
Unsure of what to do, you follow Logan as he weaves through the crowd to find a seat. As you do, it strikes you that thereâs a pretty even distribution of people, with many genders, ages and lifestyles represented. Eventually you take a seat; not quite in the back, but definitely not in the front.Â
The whole thing goes by in a blur, but where you expected to be overwhelmed, you feel⊠connected. Here you are, surrounded by people with different backgrounds, different lives, but all their stories have something you can relate to. Where you thought addiction was the common denominator, itâs actually the desire to turn your lives around that unites you the most.
âBefore we end the night I want to circle back to last week, when we spoke about goals, or things we want to work towards,â says the woman leading the meeting â youâre ashamed to admit you already forgot her name. âDoes anyone want to share something about that?â
It takes a lot to hide your surprise when Logan raises his hand.Â
âLogan! Come on up!â She sounds as surprised as you feel, beckoning him to her.
The plastic chair he sits on creaks when he stands and his boots squeak against the shiny floor as he does as she asks. He looks so out of place on a podium; both larger than life behind the lectern and lost to the space of the stage. He clears his throat as he retrieves a paper from his pocket and unfolds it while his eyes scan the room until they land on yours. You give him a little nod of encouragement, and it kicks him into gear.
âNot good at this stuff, so Iâm going to keep it brief,â he starts.Â
It earns him a chuckle or two from the other attendees, and you can tell he doesnât expect it when he looks up from his paper. Your hands clasp together with nerves as you watch him divide his weight from one leg to another, before focussing his gaze back down.
âMy life has changed a lot over the past few months. For the first time in a long time, itâs not all bad. Coming here has been good. Iâm starting to feel more like I did beforeââÂ
He stops his monotonous droning with a frustrated sigh, stuffing the piece of paper in his pocket and sounding considerably more lively after.Â
âI have people I care about again, and um, it scares me. âCause I donât want to let them down, and every day I feel like I will because of all of my⊠past shit.â He pauses and swallows hard before he continues, âThey show me so much kindness and understanding, that⊠that even though itâs fucking hard, I want to be able to see myself the way they see me. And allow them to care about me without feeling like I⊠have to earn it all the time, without destroying myself to do it.âÂ
You exhale for what feels like the first time in an eternity.
âSo, thatâs what Iâm currently working on.â Logan sighs. âThatâs it. Thank you.â
A small applause follows, and you quickly unclasp your hands to join in.
Your palms hurt after.
â â â â â
âIt was really nice, what you said in there,â you say, fingers caressing a little plastic chip of your own that you keep safe in your coat pocket. You havenât felt proud of yourself in a while, but tonight you do.
The evening is nice, the setting sun bathing the city in hues of orange and pink. Your pace is slow and comfortable, your arm occasionally brushing Loganâs when you make room for all the other pedestrians. You didnât plan on him walking you home, but he insisted and you enjoy the company â it makes you a little sad when you turn onto your street.
Logan scoffs in reply.Â
âIâm being serious,â you say, knocking your elbow against his arm on purpose now. âIt was nice for people to hear a guy like you say those things. Iâm proud of you.â
You swear he blushes. âA guy like me, huh?â he asks, almost amused.
Itâs your turn to scoff. âYou know what I mean.âÂ
âA mutant?â He looks at you from the corner of his eye.
âNo,â you say, because itâs not what you meant, but the hint of seriousness in his voice and the fact heâs not entirely wrong make you track back. âWell, maybe that, too, but I meant someone who looks like you, allowing themselves to be vulnerable. Sets a nice example.â
Logan doesnât shoot your comments down like you expect. Instead, he seems to consider your words, maybe he even silently accepts the compliment. âThink you have some things to say that could set a nice example, too.â
âMaybe next time.â
During the comfortable silence that follows, youâre reminded of something youâve been considering for weeks now. You hadnât paid much attention to it since that night, but as you worked through the feelings that got you to that point, the question kept coming back.
âIâve been wondering something,â you begin. âThe night we met... What were you doing at the lookout?â
Logan glances at you, contemplating the question. âWhen I had just, um, gotten here, it wasnât always easy to adjust, you know? So I went to all these places that I knew from back there, to ground myself, to see that things may be different, but that theyâre not that different.â
âYou went there on your side?â
He hums.
âBy yourself?â
He hums again.
âDid youâŠâ You hesitate to finish your sentence, both because youâre not sure if you have any right to ask and because youâve reached your building. You stop walking, and Logan follows your lead.Â
âNo, no, no, I⊠I canât explain it, itâs just one of those places I was always drawn to,â Logan says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans with a shrug. His brows furrow suddenly, his mind seemingly lost in something before his eyes flick back to yours. âThink it took me coming over here to find reason in it.â
Itâs a thought thatâs equal parts sad and lovely.Â
The silence that follows hangs between you, thick with something you canât place, but Logan doesnât look away from you, eyes scanning your face before they land back on yours. You canât help thinking that maybe this is how he does it, and the question comes out before you can help it,
âIs mind reading part of the X-Gene thing?â
His eyes widen â amusement or surprise, you canât say. âIt can be.âÂ
âCan you do it?â
âNo,â he says. âAnd itâs for the best, fucking hurts when you canât control it.â Then the start of a smile begins to form on his lips. ââsides, I donât know if I would have a lot of⊠consideration for peopleâs boundaries.â
It makes you chuckle. âRight. Not to mention some minds are probably a lot â imagine reading Wadeâs mind.â
âHurts to even imagine,â Logan says, gesturing for you to be quiet as he winces, but a smile breaks through anyway. When your shared laughter dies down, he jerks his chin at the building behind you, âThis your place?â
âWhaâ?â Going home long forgotten in the moment, you glance over your shoulder. âOh! Yes.â
âAll right,â he nods. âSee you next week?â
âDefinitely,â you reply.
âOh,â Logan says right before you turn around. âBring coffee? You owe me.â
You make a face at him. âYou donât have toâ Iâll get you something else, I know you donât like it.â
âI like it when I drink it with you.â
Itâs incredibly hard to hide your grin. âOkay, Iâll bring coffee. See you next week, Logan.â
âSee you.âÂ
He lingers, watching you climb the steps, waiting until the door opens after you turn your key in the lock. Itâs not until you close the door, when you can only make out his silhouette through the patterned glass window in it, that he walks off.
THE SUMMER
Walking back from a very successful job interview, you find yourself on your way to your friends with a big, plastic bottle of coke under your arm. Itâs a warm feeling to know that youâll soon have a job that suits you and that you have people to celebrate with; you look forward to seeing them and sharing this with them.
Youâre invited inside with open arms, tight hugs, exclaimed praise and congratulations, and it makes you giddy, a feeling so foreign that you wish you could bottle it up right this instant. With a grin, you shake the Coca Cola bottle, before twisting the cap off. You let out an excited shout as you watch the foam shoot out from the top, bubbles and dark liquid pulsing down the neck of the bottle as cheers surround you.
Itâs not champagne, but Althea grumbles about the soda ruining her floors, Wade gets mismatched glasses from the cupboard, and Logan clinks his glass to yours and tells you heâs proud of you.
Itâs way better than champagne.
â â â â â
Youâre in serious, desperate need of a new placeâŠÂ
The August heat is relentless, and the entire buildingâs AC isnât working. Itâs with considerable effort that you manage to make your way to your friendsâ place, the promise of a constant, cold stream of wind the only thing that keeps you going. But when the front door opens, it isnât with the welcoming, cool waft of air you were hoping for. Instead, thereâs no temperature change, only Wade in his underwear.
âNo.â Itâs a little embarrassing how you literally pout, but these are desperate times. âHere, too?â
âIf it wasnât this fucking hot Iâd be offended by that greeting.â He sighs. âCome in.â
Slightly defeated, you shuffle past the threshold, while Wade lingers. Mary Puppins trots by, an ice-pack wrapped in a towel secured on her back, and you catch a glimpse of Logan exiting the bedroom. Heâs in black shorts and a ribbed, sleeveless shirt, and with a desperate groan, he lets himself fall back into the recliner in the living room.Â
âTried everything, thereâs no fixing that fucking thing.â
Wade makes a face, âListen, I know what youâre thinking: Wadeâs in his underwear, Loganâs emerging from the bedroom⊠But we didnât fuck, itâs not that kind of stââ
âWho are you talking to?â you ask from behind him, glancing over his shoulder into the empty hallway.
âNo oneâYou!â The door closes with a bang.
Confused, you walk further into the apartment. âWell, telling me you didnât is just going to make me think that you did.â Wade darts past you and takes a seat on the couch, but you hang back and lean against the kitchen table to avoid sitting on leather.
Wade suddenly turns to face you. âDid I ever tell you about our time in The Void?â
âWade,â Logan warns.
Wadeâs eyes are sparkling with mischief and you canât deny how fun it is to indulge the way he pushes Loganâs buttons. Itâs a good distraction from how youâre drenched in sweat. And youâre actually curious.
You play your part, letting out a faux-scandalised gasp. âDid you..?â
âOh, yeah, baby. Wolverine goes both ways. All the ways, really.â He grins. âWeâre so alike.â
âShut up. Both of you.â Logan groans, lacking any real threat as he adjusts in his seat and wipes some sweat off his brow. âItâs too fucking hot to be annoyed.â
It isnât lost on you he doesnât deny a thing.
â â â â â
Apartments look weird with nothing in them.
Itâs what crossed your mind after you finished packing up your place three days ago, and it crosses your mind now as you look into the open space of your new one from the doorway. Itâs a pleasant, late summer day; perfect weather to move, which was on your schedule for today.
âIncoming!â comes from behind you, followed by quick, heavy steps.
You jump aside as Ellie sails through the door, carefully setting a big box marked âKitchenâ down in its designated area, followed by Logan who is balancing three boxes at once. After a beat, Yukio follows, holding a single table lamp in her hand. It takes some effort not to laugh, not just because of how funny it looks, but also because you relate; after all the exhausting late nights you pulled packing up, thatâs also the kind of energy youâre bringing to this.
Itâs nice of them to help, and instead of shoving that feeling away in fear, you allow yourself to bask in it. You donât get long, however, because more help has just arrived.
Wade. With Vanessa. Hands interlocked.
It draws everyoneâs eyes to the doorway. Wade looks almost bashful, and it baffles you how someone who can say the most insane things unprompted, all without batting an eye, could blush while holding hands with a girl he likes. To his credit, he shakes it off quickly.
âAll right, all right,â he says. âStop ogling me and my girlfriend and get back to work everyone!â
â â â â â
âSo it was like an experiment?â you ask, stirring the pot on your stove before taking a careful bite of food off your wooden spoon.
Tonightâs your first night hosting at your new place â Family Dinner, Wade had dubbed it. With fall setting in, you had an idea of what to make, but it still made you nervous to have everyone in your space. Logan saw right through you, offering to come over early to help you prepare.Â
Once he had arrived, it hadnât taken long for him to admit he wasnât much of a cook, so he mainly chopped vegetables as you chatted; you about your new place, Logan about his new job as a boxing instructor, Laura going off to college. You donât remember exactly how the subject of his adamantium came up, but he was telling you freely about it.
âThey needed someone who could regenerate fast enough to bond with it,â he explains. âI was in a dark place. Figured I didnât have anything to lose if it didnât work.â
You nod in understanding. âDo you⊠remember much about it?â You put your spoon down, then put the lid back on the pan.Â
Loganâs knife stops hitting the cutting board. âYeah, I⊠I remember every second of it.â
You look at him then. His eyes are still cast down at his task. Unsure of what to say, you think about what youâd want to hear, and you find it might be best to say nothing at all. Instead, your hand finds his shoulder. Loganâs head turns to you, and you feel like the look you share is more important than anything you couldâve told him. His hand covers yours with an appreciative squeeze.Â
âBut Iâm trying to leave that there so I can focus on remembering what happens to me here.â As soon as heâs said it, his hand quickly slips off yours, adding, in a rush, âHere in this timeline, I mean.âÂ
You smile at him, but a strange feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. âThat sounds like a great idea.â
â â â â â
âI need your help with something,â you say, balancing your phone between your ear and your shoulder while you turn a birthday card over in your hand. Deciding you donât like it, you throw it back on the pile of cards and continue your grocery shopping.
âJust say the word,â comes Loganâs reply from the other end.
âI need you to steal something out of the apartment for me.â Thereâs a silence, and you purposely let the feeling of trepidation linger.
âAm gonna need you to say a little more than just that.â
You laugh, âWadeâs been talking about getting a little frame for his polaroid. You know, the polaroid that you held on to for him in The Void, after the two of you fuââ
âYes, I know the one,â he interjects with a huff. He pauses, sighs, then says, âConsider it done.â
THE PARTY
âThere you are!â Wade shouts after he opens the door. He pulls you into a hug that you return with a wide smile. Over his shoulder, you see that the apartmentâs crowded, bustling with people who are there for his birthday party.
âI got you something,â you say, offering the small package to him after you step inside and hang up your coat.
âWouldnât have let you in if you hadnât,â he admits as he closes the door behind you with a bang. Wade takes the package from your hand, shaking it next to his ear but hearing it make no sound in response. âIs it a cock ring?â
You canât help but laugh at that. âUnfortunately, they were all sold out.â
âThey always are,â he says, making a disappointed face. Bottom lip tucked between your teeth, you watch as he tears at the wrapping paper to reveal his gift. He makes another face when he sees it. âWell, now I feel like an asshole. This is really nice.â
âLogan helped me kidnap it,â you explain, pointing at the picture. âAnd the little red hearts on the frame, well, theyâre your color, but they also reminded me of how much you care about people.â
When he looks at you after, itâs with genuine emotion⊠but Wade is Wade. âNever thought Iâd say this, but Iâm kind of happy you walked in here barfing up the place.â
A strange mix of embarrassment and gratitude claws its way up your neck. âThank you.â
âWe should take a new one,â he decides suddenly, pointing at the picture. âYou both should be in it.â His head turns, watching as Logan approaches the two of you. âBut letâs be realistic, his shoulders are so broad he wouldnât even fit in the frame, much less his bulââ
âStop talking about my dick, Wade,â Logan snaps.
âI was saying only good things! Jeez, so sensitiveâŠâ Wade turns, putting the picture on the kitchen table behind him where it joins all the other gifts.
âDid he like it?â Logan asks, voice low.
âYeah,â you smile.
âGood,â he replies. âWas a nice idea.â
You eye all the other gifts, some clearer who they are from than others. âWhat did you get him?â
The corner of Loganâs mouth lifts as he points at a roll of silver duct tape with a small red bow on top, making you fix them both with a confused look.
âItâs an inside joke,â Logan shrugs.
Wadeâs eyes sparkle, but in a rare turn of events, he doesnât elaborate, only adds, âItâs classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.âÂ
âAnd I have top level clearance, lieutenant,â you reply. You exhale through your nose in an amused laugh when Wade makes a surprised face that indicates youâve gotten the reference. âWhat, you thought a Tom Cruise impression could save you?â
âNo,â he grins, and as if on cue, the doorbell rings, âbut that can. Birthday Boy duty calls, but I want it on record that I could do Top Gun, easily, while Tom would never be able to pull off Deadpool.â
â â â â â
The party settles into something comfortable, soft music in the background of lively chatter. Yukio has just finished telling you about a Professor Layton cosplay sheâs doing when you excuse yourself, both your glass and your social battery empty enough to look for a momentary out. Finding your way through the crowd, you make it to the kitchen, filling your glass with water and taking a few sips.Â
While you do, the music suddenly gets louder, taking over for the steady chatter. You turn around, leaning back against the kitchen counter, and watch as Wade drags Vanessa to the middle of the apartment. People make room for them, exchanging looks while Wade wraps his arm around her waist, takes her hand in his and begins dancing with her. With a laugh, she slaps him on the chest, before settling into his embrace anyway. Some follow their lead, but your eyes stay glued to them. Wade spins Vanessa under his arm, the smile on her face bright enough to light up the entire room. In return, he looks at her with so much adoration heâs almost glowing himself. It fills you with warmth to see the both of them so happy.
It hits you how you havenât thought about this in a while. Youâd decided long ago that the future wasnât something you had to worry about, but suddenly youâve arrived, like youâre in some alternate reality where your future is now, and that it would be nice to share it with someone. The sting behind your eyes catches you a little off guard; mixed feelings of time that has been taken from you, but also of time youâre getting back with the life you now have.
For a while now, youâve suspected the thing inside you is gone, that there isnât much to feed off of anymore. If it is, it would make sense that thereâs room for something else.
Wade and Vanessa make it look easy, even though you know itâs been far from easy for them. You suppose thatâs what itâs like, especially as you get older. Itâs less about big gestures, more about small ones; someone to make you laugh, to spin you under their arm, who knows how to apologize, seeks you out during your quiet momentsâ
âDo you dance?â
You startle, head turning towards the voice next to youâÂ
âLogan,â you breathe.Â
Itâs like youâre seeing him for the very first time. Heâs standing so close, almost touching you but not quite, heat radiating off of him nonetheless. The plaid shirt heâs wearing isnât even buttoned and still the fabric is pulled taunt over his shoulders and the thick of his biceps. Heâs grinning, his nose pulled up in an adorable scrunch, the corner of his eyes crinkling - you never noticed before, but thereâs a hint of green between the hazel.
It hits you so suddenly that you have to grab the counter to keep your balance. Everything thatâs been happening, that youâve been feeling, all the times something happened between the two of you that you couldnât put your finger on⊠it falls into place with a well-timed, completely unrelated question and a glance at him.
You like him.
All you can do is blink at him, dazed, unable to speak, even more so when he leans in a little closer, mistaking your silence for misunderstanding. âI mean, not that Iâ You and Wade were doing a bit earlier, itâs a reference toââ Logan straightens suddenly, his expression slipping into concern as he watches you, âAre you okay?â
You feel warm, so aware of all his attention on you that youâre afraid he might be able to see your pulse blink rapidly below the angle of your jaw. âYeah,â you reply, voice hoarse, looking away from him to blink the leftover wetness from earlier out of your eyes.Â
Anxiety claws its way into your chest, your mind coming to terms with what itâs puzzled together at such a sickening pace that thereâs an immediate knot in your stomach. The party has instantly lost its shine, and you look down at the glass in your hand, gulping down its contents. You need to be alone with your thoughts, you need to think about this beforeâ
âI gotta go,â you say in such a rush that it almost sounds like one word while you set your glass on the kitchen counter.
Loganâs eyes follow you as you push past him, grab your coat and reach for the doorknob. âWaitââ
âBye, Logan.â
THE TABLE
Once at home, you change into something more comfortable, your mind racing while you peel your party clothes off, toss your bra aside, change into an oversized shirt and plop down on the couch after.
Despite having already established that your mind was occupied with other things for a very long time, itâs laughable in hindsight that you never noticed your feelings before. Itâs not like you donât know what Loganâs like; heâs kind, funny, supportiveâŠ
âŠbroad, handsome.
Shit.
Why did you have to come to your senses? Things were better before that moment. Loganâs your friend, whom you met in the most unconventional way possible. Itâs ridiculous to want more than what you have when what you have is good. Or to think that he would want more.
But he might.
Because you may have been occupied with depression, anxiety, recovery, and everything in between, but you were there; you remember the time you spent with him, the way he looks at you, drinks the coffee you like, laughs at your jokes, seems to know exactly when to call you, seeks you out in a crowd.
But it would change everythâÂ
Actually, not a whole lot would change, if you really think about it. You already see him all the time, youâve seen the very worst of each other, overcome a great deal of hardship together, you make each other better, his friends are yourâŠÂ
friends.Â
You didnât say goodbye to Wade.
The thought comes suddenly. It was his birthday party and you didnât even say goodbye to him before you left. Youâre a terrible friend. Dread sinks into your limbs, and you reach for your phone to type out a quick, apologetic message. Just as you hit send, thereâs a series of loud knocks on the door, and it makes you freeze up where youâre seated.
âAre you in there?â a muffled voice calls out.
Itâs Logan, you realize, and a plethora of fake excuses as to why you left the party early present themselves to your mind as you quickly make your way over to the door.
The first thing you notice when you open it is that heâs dripping wet from the rain, clothes soaked through and his hair flat. Thereâs a deep furrow in his brow, and itâs different from how he usually looks; he looks actually mad.
âLogan, is everythingââ you begin, concerned, but he cuts you off by pushing past you and letting himself inside, boots stomping against the wooden floor.Â
âJesus, here you are. Whyâd you leave like that, huh? Saying goodbye, your eyes all wet. I went after you and you were fucking gone, it scared the shit out of me. Didnât see the car at the lookout, but I went to look for you anyway, and you werenât in the water, thank fuckââ
âWait, you wentââ you pause, the mental image of Logan running out into the rain to the cliffside making your eyes widen. âDid you think..?â
âYeah,â he sighs, shoulders slumping.
âShit.â Your heart is racing when you step closer to him. âNo, I wasnât⊠I donât want that anymore.â
âThen what the fuck was that all about?â
The desperation and misunderstanding in his eyes is unmistakable, and you hate that you made him feel like that. âI was just⊠I needed a moment, after seeing Wade and Vanessa like that,â you say, trying to provide yourself with more time to think, unsure if you already want to broach the subject of why you really left.
âYou⊠like Wade?â Logan asks, his frown deepening.
You canât help the laugh that escapes you at the unexpected question. âNo. I mean, I adore Wade, but not like that. Heâs with Vanessa.â
The answer does nothing to change his expression. âAnd you want it to be different?â
His line of questioning confuses you. âIâ No. Logan, this isnât about Wade or Vanessa, but itâs about⊠what they have. Something thatâs real, but imperfect, and thatâs what actually makes it perfect, and I just⊠I was in a really bad place for such a long time, I didnât give myself time to even think about⊠I havenât felt myself wanting for so long,â your gaze flicks up to his. âSeeing them just made me realize thereâs so much left that I still want.âÂ
Internally, you curse the way he always makes you say too much, because you can see the understanding wash over his features. His expression softens, the balled fists by his side loosen, and his eyes search you, as if to see if that thing you want is him. Thereâs no doubt he finds his answer; youâre ever the open book when it comes to him, and your pulse quickens while he silently observes you.Â
Logan reaches for you so quickly that you can barely prepare for it, a hand on your waist to pull you in, another on your cheek to tip your face up and guide your mouth to his. A shaky breath sails out through your nose when your lips meet, your eyes fluttering shut and your palms sliding up his damp but warm chest to curl in the soaked fabric of his shirt. Itâs eager, and the angle is off, but itâs quickly adjusted with a brief parting and a near in-sync tilt of your heads in the other direction.Â
Logan pulls away, but stays close, and you almost feel his words before hearing them, âBeen⊠thinking about doing that.â
âReally?â you say, breathless and amused. âWhen did you, um, start wanting to do that?â
âFew weeks agoâFuck, no, more than that. Almost did, that day after your first meeting, after you told me you were proud of me,â he admits. âBut I wanted to give you time, space. Wasnât sure if you feltââ
âI do. Didnât realize it before, but I fucking do,â you assure him, another tug on his collar trying to pull him back to you. His admissions, knowing he wants you too, only make you want him more, like you have to make up for all the time you wasted not doing this sooner.
Loganâs hand on your waist holds you off. âI just donât know how to⊠how to be this,â he confesses softly.
âThatâs okay,â you say, your nose brushing against his. âI donât either.â
He inches forward like he intends to kiss you again, but seems to reconsider, swallowing hard before saying, âWouldnât be the first time we figure it out together, huh?â
The words make you surge forward to close the gap between you, your brows creasing, attempting to convey everything you feel with one press of your lips to his. Loganâs hand slides from your cheek to the back of your head, pulling you to him in a way that seems to mirror your efforts. Something lights up inside you, something you lost long ago, and it makes you bold, opening your mouth under his to get a taste of him.Â
His grip on you tightens with a groan, spurring him into action and walking you backwards into the dark kitchen, the only illumination the slivers of moonlight that come through the kitchen window. You jolt when the back of your thighs hit the table, before youâre scrambling to get on top of it, two hands at your waist helping to hoist you up. Your thighs widen to make room for Loganâs while you push the green flannel shirt off his shoulders, struggling to peel it off his arms to the point you have to break away with a laugh to really get it right. It lands on the floor with a wet sound, before he reaches for the back of his shirt, curling his fingers around the collar and pulling it over his head.
Loganâs sturdy, warm to the touch and surprisingly pliant when you canât help but let your fingers flit along the corded muscles and protruding veins while he toes off his shoes. His hand flies to the back of your head to fist the hair at the nape of your neck when your lips explore, find his jaw, and travel down his neck. A soft sound sails from his mouth, a barely audible moan that carries over into something deeper when your lips brush a spot just above his clavicle. Using the grip he has on you, he drags you back up to his mouth, doing some more of his own exploring when his warm tongue strokes against your own.Â
âYouâre so good to me,â he murmurs with a buck of his hips against yours. The thrill of having him pushed up against you, half-hard, warm, full of promise, makes you moan, teeth clacking against his when you do. âAlways so fucking good to me.â
It makes you want to protest, from the very moment you met, heâs the one always being that to you, but it dies on your tongue when Loganâs flicks over the tips of his fingers. His impatient hand finds its way between you, disappearing under the waistband of your underwear and stretching the material to make room. His name comes out as a whimper when his spit-slick fingers easily glide through the soft skin between your legs. He curses, another buck of his hips pressing his hand closer against you, and your kiss turns messy and uncoordinated when he dips one finger to touch your clit.Â
âThis okay?â Logan asks when you gasp, drawing languid circles between your legs.
âYeah, itâs justâ Oh, god.â Two thick fingers find your entrance, swirling the wetness there around. âBeen a while,â you manage to finish your sentence.
âIâll make it good for you,â he promises. âYou want that?â
All you can do is nod, and Logan presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before he pulls his hand back. Itâs paired with a wet sound that makes your cheeks heat, more so when you watch him get on his knees and yank you to the edge of the table, the quick turn of events and the casual display of his strength making you a little dizzy. Loganâs nose presses into the fabric between your legs with a sharp inhale, before quick, practiced moves work your underwear down your legs. One eager hand places a thigh on his shoulder as another holds you at the bend of your knee. You lie back, arching as you hurriedly pull your t-shirt over your head, leaning up on your elbows just in time to watch him bend down.Â
The feeling of Loganâs hot breath sailing out over your sensitive skin alone is enough to make you gasp. He drags his lips and nose across your folds, easing you into it as much as his lack of patience will allow before tasting you with a swipe of his tongue. It isnât tentative or testing, but firm and sure, and clearly for his enjoyment as much as yours when he repeats his action and groans into you. The vibrations of it and the gentle scratch of his facial hair only add to the liquid feeling in the pit of your stomach. Letting go of your knee, he curls a strong arm around your thigh, spreading you open then pulling you flush against him while he sucks your clit into his mouth.
âOh, that feels really good,â you spur him on, your heel digging in between his shoulder blades. You watch him with hooded eyes, shifting your weight to one elbow so you can cup your breast with a whine.Â
Loganâs eyes slip shut in focus, working his tongue up and down your clit and making you arch into his mouth. Reaching for you blindly, he slides a hand over yours on your chest, fingers fitting between your own and squeezing while his tongue slides lower to lick over where youâre dripping for him. He lets out an appreciative hum as he repeats the move until your thighs clench and shake around his ears. His tongue dips inside you, curling up against the slick walls of your cunt, and his name tumbles from your mouth, soft, pleading, making his eyes shoot open to meet yours.
The sight of him looking up at you like that from between your thighs, with dark eyes, the tip of his nose glistening with your wetness, will probably haunt you for the rest of your life.Â
Logan shushes your begging, pulling away and watching as your pussy clenches at the sudden lack of attention. âLet me give you something to come on,â he murmurs, before fitting a finger at your entrance. It meets absolutely no resistance, a second finger sliding inside with just as much ease, and he sets a steady, deep rhythm before his mouth returns to your clit.
âOh, fuck, fuck, fuckââ Your head rolls back between your shoulder blades, mouth open on a silent gasp, but he draws your attention back to him with a curl of his fingers, finding a spot that makes you go rigid for a second. It all builds so fast, so suddenly. The hand on your chest shakes Loganâs off, finding the crown of his head and sliding your fingers into his hair. Heâs too strong to really make purchase, but you try anyway, using your grip to roll your hips against him. The sound of his groans, every flick of his tongue and every squelching, delicious curl of his fingers all send you closer and closer, until his hand presses down on your belly, andâŠ
âLogan,â you manage, voice sharp with a warning that comes too late when he makes you tumble over the edge.Â
Itâs so much after so long, the force of it making you fall back against the table, something between a gasp and a shout tearing from your throat. He holds you tighter, to keep you in place and guide the desperate roll of your hips against his face. Your orgasm quickly slips into something bordering on oversensitivity, and you let out a dry sob that makes you slap a hand over your mouth when Loganâs tongue travels a path from where his stilled fingers disappear inside you, up to your clit. He stays there, gentle, uncharacteristically patient as you slowly come to a twitching halt.Â
Heâs a blur when he comes back into your field of view after standing up, towering over you to watch as you come back down to earth. Becoming sharper with every heavy blink of your eyes, you notice the smile on his face is smug, that the hair surrounding it is a shade darker than the rest. You sigh softly when his fingers slip from you, the feeling of them sliding wetly over your clit making you tremble, but his touch doesnât leave you completely when he moves to stroke the outside of your thigh.
âHowâs that?â Logan dares to ask.
âHmm, no speaking yet,â you protest.
Reaching for him, you slide both of your arms up over his broad shoulders, wrists crossed in the nape of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. Itâs slow, and deep, the taste of yourself shared between the two of you as your tongue slides over his. The table protests with a creak when his hands land beside your head, more when his chest pushes down on yours and you wrap a leg around his waist to get him even closer. The hair scattered across his broad chest teases your nipples and the hard ridge of his cock strains against his jeans and presses up against your slick cunt. It makes your jaw go slack, stoking your desire and making you burn with the need to make him feel as good as he just made you feel.Â
With a push against his shoulders, you take him along as you sit upright again, accompanied by another creak of the table. Mouth still on his, you slide a hand down to cup him over his jeans, the weight of him against your wide open palm making you pulse. Logan grunts when your hand squeezes, and your mouth slides off his, kissing his jaw, sliding back down his neck. He cups your head, keeping you in place while watching your hand.
âFeels nice,â he husks, voice so deep it makes you want to push him aside and get on your knees for him, but then he asks, âAre you gonna let me fuck you?â
âGod, yeah,â you say with a nod, watching as the mark you just sucked into his neck disappears far too soon while you continue rubbing him over the denim. âWant you inside of me.â
âJesusâThen get it out,â he instructs, guiding your hand to his belt.Â
If you werenât so turned on you might wince at how eager you are, at how quickly you tug the buckle open and pull the leather free. Logan groans when it relieves some of the pressure, letting his forehead rest against yours. Together, you watch your hands make quick work of his zipper, your fist closing around his cock while your other hand works his pants down until he can kick it off and under the table.
He fits nicely in your palm, heavy and ready, sticky at the tip. With a purse of your lips, you let your spit trickle down in a straight line, and he hisses when it hits him. Your free hand flattens against his stomach, sliding down along the hard planes of his body and following the vein just below his belly button down, until it meets your other hand that loosely strokes up to the root of his cock. Logan arches into you when you stroke back up with a tighter grip, all but getting on his toes to chase your touch. Using both of your hands to get all of him, you twist your fists in opposite directions once, twice, before circling his tip with one thumb. Your other hand curls around the underside of him, dragging some of your spit down to his balls with the tips of your fingers.
âFâfuck,â Logan stutters when you play with him there, cupping him in your hand as well as you can and squeezing his shaft when it twitches in response. His eyes slip shut as his palms land on the outside of your thighs with a smack, fingertips digging into your soft skin.Â
It makes you jolt, then grin, giddy from the sharp sting and the power you have over his pleasure. âHowâs that?â you echo with a teasing lilt.
He does have the words to answer, albeit a little slurred, ââS good, sweetheart.â
The nickname tacked on at the end takes root in your chest, blooms bright and makes you ache. You translate your appreciation into tightening your strokes and spreading more of the precome that steadily leaks from his tip around.
âCâmere,â Logan says softly, taking over for you with one hand, giving himself a few strokes before pushing your thighs further apart and shuffling closer to line himself up with you.
Youâre so wet that the head of his cock is practically already slipping inside of you, but your hand clasps around his bicep when he really starts to breach you. After giving you a shallow little thrust, his hips draw back, before pushing a little further, gauging your reaction.
âJust like that,â you sigh, watching the careful slide of him in and out of you. âKeep going just like that.â
He gets you opened up like that, giving you a little more with each wind of his hips. Loganâs hand finds the back of your neck, his palm splaying out and keeping you close enough that youâre practically sharing air with each sigh and moan. Eventually, your knees have to draw up to his flanks in order for him to keep going and you wind a leg around his hip to close the final distance with a press of your heel into one of the firm cheeks of his ass. A long breath sails out from between your lips when you pulse around him, slowly adjusting to having all of him filling you up. You can tell he has to put considerable effort into letting you, wood groaning below you when he clutches onto the table.
âFuck, itâs a lot,â you say, and when he grins against your mouth you canât help but kiss him again â just a peck. The hand at the back of your neck squeezes in reassurance as he continues to let you lead, and itâs a small gesture, but it makes you feel warm all over. You melt into it his touch, your body relaxing as the pleasure of the stretch of him takes over. Â
âCan stay like this a little longer if you want,â he says, but the strain in his voice says something different.
âHmm, no, you can move.â Youâve barely said it, or his hips are drawing back, and it would have made you laugh if it didnât feel so fucking incredible. He almost slips from you completely, before sliding all the way back inside with a grunt. The table scrapes along the floor, and vaguely you register one of your chairs falling over in the process. When he repeats the action, the furniture squeaks again below you. âJust donât break my table.â
The sound he makes in response is non-commital, and when he fucks back into you and nudges against something wonderful, you canât say you disagree. Grabbing hold of his shoulder and using the leg you have wrapped around him, you roll your hips against his, and he begins to meet you halfway until you work up a rhythm together. The table protest further, a shrill sound filling the room after each slap of skinâ
With a frustrated groan and accompanied by a startled squeal from yourself, Logan lifts you. The surprised laugh that threatens to bubble up your throat quickly morphs into something heavier that comes out with a rasp when he makes it all look unusually effortless. Attempting to brace yourself, you sling one arm over his shoulders, the other winding around his neck so you can rake your fingers through the hair at the back of his head. Itâs a struggle to keep your balance, a helpless heel digging into the back of his thigh to keep yourself upright. Quick to aid, Logan slides an arm under you, fingers splayed across your ass as your knee hangs off the inside of his elbow. He turns a quarter, presses you up against the wall, and doesnât miss a beat as he continues fucking you.Â
âJesus, Logan,â you say, voice almost a growl and barely recognizable as your own.
With your new position, you can see him better, the both of you lit from the side with the window to your left. The moonlight paints him in a tapestry of light and shadows when the wind blows through the tree branches, momentarily amplifying the glint in his eyes and the flex of his chest and arms like a strobe light.
The different angle he finds with his cock is a little too good, the feeling of the thick base of him stretching you open with each thrust making you dazed and talkative, âItâs so deep like this, canâoh, my godâcan feel you everywhere.âÂ
Logan curses at your words, squeezing your waist and pushing you harder against the wall. Thereâs a deep-voiced appreciation of how good you feel in there too that doesnât quite make it from your ears to your brain because somehow heâs still speeding up. His head ducks down to your chest, mouthing at the soft skin of your breast before closing his lips around a nipple.Â
You whine, using the grip you have on him to roll your hips against the piston of his while you pant into his crown. Though the sound he makes against you when you do it makes you beam with pride, itâs not something you can keep up for very long, your hold on him slacking after a few thrust until you slip back against the wall.Â
Logan pulls back when you do, tightening his hold on you while his eyes glide from the bounce of your tits that glisten with his spit to down between your bodies.Â
âTouch yourself,â he instructs, grunting when you immediately do as he says by bringing a hand down between where youâre joined. Your fingers spread in a V-shape around where he fucks into you, collecting some of your mixed arousal before using it to rub your clit. âThatâs it, sweetheart, fuck, make yourself come.â
You nod, rapidly feeling everything zeroing in on the fingers that draw tight circles over your clit and that spot deep inside you that Loganâs finding with every thrust. âYeah, fuck, IâmâDonât stop, donât stop, pleaseââ
Heâs coming before you are, tucking his head below your chin to let out a deep, drawn out moan against your neck that ends with his teeth grazing your skin. Itâs so much, the pressure of him grinding himself into you with twitching, barely there thrusts, the heat of his release as it fills you where youâre gripping him like a vice, and as your fingers still twirl between your legs you come, and come, and come.Â
The leg you have wrapped around his hip slips off, but before your toes can even scrape the floor, he catches your thigh, cupping your ass with both hands now to keep you up, and close. With a soft, satisfied sound, you let your forehead fall against Loganâs shoulder, tasting the salt of his sweat with every light press of your lips there.
It takes you a moment to notice your back has come off the wall, that Logan is walking the both of you into your living room and to the couch. He bends his knees, dropping you between your pillows, where you land with as much grace as you can muster considering you feel like youâre made of lead. The soft couch is pleasant against your body, your sore limbs sinking into the cushions.Â
Logan fits himself between your legs again, widening them around his broad shoulders before his lips find your overstretched thighs, leaving marks and kisses up up up, until his tongue slips back into your pussy. Your back arches off the couch, hands shooting down to fist his hair with a whine while Loganâs hand fists his cock. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell heâs already getting hard again, and his tongue is making something swirl low in your belly thatâs making you pant, and...
Itâll be a long night.
THE PEARL
It had taken a lot of convincing and downright groveling, but Wade had allowed you to bring a movie for movie night. It wasnât that he didnât trust your taste in movies, his main gripe with your choice was that it wasnât a Christmas movie â mandatory for December. Wadeâs right, but after you explained that itâs the movie you always watch at the end of the year (and after Logan and yourself conceded that yes, his birthday was technically also your anniversary) heâd agreed.Â
Now that youâre actually watching it, you suspect heâs genuinely invested, because after a handful of comments about The Hulk, heâs been quiet for longer than youâve ever heard him be quiet.
In the scene on the screen, Mark Ruffaloâs character Dan and Keira Knightleyâs character Gretta are taking an evening walk around New York City, dancing, singing and sharing music with each other as they do. Eventually, they stop and sit next to each other on some steps, watching as the city continues to move without them.
â...the most banal scenes are suddenly invested with so much meaning, ya know? All these banalities, they're suddenly turned into these⊠these beautiful, effervescent pearls,â Dan says, wistfully looking on as New York bustles around him. âI gotta say, as I've gotten older these pearls are just⊠becoming increasingly more and more rare to me.â
The arm Logan has slung around your shoulder tightens, and the couch creaks softly as you lean further into his side, your cheek squishing against his warm chest.
âMore string than pearls?â Gretta inquires with a frown.
âYeah. You got to travel over a lot more string to get to the pearls.â Thereâs a pause as he turns to look at her, âThis moment is a pearl, Gretta.â
She gives him a hint of a smile. âIt sort of is, isn't it?â
âAll this has been a pearl,â he admits, sharing a look with her.
A finger curls under your chin, tipping your head up until your eyes meet Loganâs. He gives you the same look you just saw on the screen, his eyes soft as they take you in, the hint of green between the hazel illuminated by the light of the television. A thumb swipes over your bottom lip fondly, before he leans down to kiss you.
It takes a lot of string indeed.
Sometimes even interdimensional string.
â â â â â
(THE END)
If you made it all the way here, thanks for reading. Seriously. Please come say hi and/or share your thoughts via ask/messages/reblogs/whatever you feel comfortable with. I hope to share more writing soon - emphasis on hope, I'm not making promises, just an educated wish.
And lastly, if you're struggling with mental health problems, please don't wait for a handsome stranger to sweep you off your feet. I know from experience that it can be incredibly difficult to reach that hand out, but I also know from experience that things can get better. There are ways to get help and you deserve to get help đ«
#dani writing#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#james logan howlett x reader#worst wolverine x reader#logan x reader#x men x reader#worst wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut
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Do you ever just see the replies of a post only to remember why you don't want to engage with the average fandom person on this place? Me? All the time.
#i mean there's reasons why I don't read anyone's stuff here ngl#not for moral reasons but if everything has an average build up for an expectable outcome that shouldn't be spoken about#it's a big no#any writer who do that is a fucking amateur especially if they signed with a label only to serve that kind of bullshit only#no fucking idea why it sells and could have beef with anyone who eat that up#and no there's nothing wrong with having standards there's a bigger problem with being bad and insisting you aren't thooo#also romance is overrated if more than 20% of the vibes rely on that then fuck off#also whoever consider the average characterization of shipping content to be nuanced well just gotta say please go out#and talk to actual people asap#like i mean that does not apply to kids and we know it i mean i don't even know if anyone below 25 look at my shit to begin with
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under the table
description: you and sim jaeyun have been academic rivals for as long as you can remember, competing intensely to beat the other in every class you've ever shared. for years, you've hidden your feelings for him, burying them deep down where jake can't find them, and you're hellbent on ensuring he never discovers your secret.
word count: 22k
contents: academic rivals to academic rivals with benefits to lovers, lots of angst, slight crack at points, overuse of nicknames (angel, pretty, gorgeous, etc), jake is kinda mean in the beginning, heejayhoon are flirty frat boy menaces, reader works herself to exhaustion in one scene, jake is stupid with emotions, characters get drunk/drink a lot, lots of party scenes and wonyoung as your roommate/best friend bc she's the first idol i thought of
smut warnings below the cut
a/n: thank u to my lovely bff @seung-log for letting me bounce ideas off of you and for beta reading this fic and giving me encouragement the entire way! ilysm <3
now playing: under the table by banks
smut warnings: dom!jake, sub!reader, hard and soft dom jake, implications of sub!jake (my agenda y'all he had to be here somewhere), degradation (slut, whore, etc), praise, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!), fingering, oral (m. and f. rec), handjob, titjob, multiple orgasms, squirting, hate fucking (kinda), cumming inside, cum swallowing, cum as lube (kinda), finger in ass (f. rec), orgasm delay, marking, biting, spit swallowing, dry humping, grinding, slight 'sir' kink, choking, slight size kink (big cock/tiny pussy), fucking with clothes on, overstimulation, crying, slight dacryphilia, clit pinching/slapping.
your eyes drag over your paper hurriedly, looking for the red ink splotched at the bottom of the page, skin tingling as blood rushes to your head.
95.
you flip your paper over, eyes darting to your side where a pair of big brown eyes are already staring back at you. jake raises an eyebrow at you, showing you the big fat 100 plastered on the top of his test sheet.
your nose scrunches as you attempt to not give any reaction to the fact that jake has beat you. once again.
âha! knew it,â jake smirks, basking in his triumph.
âwhatever, sim. you know physics is not my strongest subject.â you try to brush his statement off, but his gloating begins to get under your skin. you poke your tongue on the inside of your cheek, resisting the urge to smack him as he continues to sit there, simply staring. âwhat is it?â
jake shrugs, ânothing much, y/l/n, just the usual. enjoying the fact that i beat you for yet another week in a row.â
heâs absolutely over exaggerating, knowing you just topped his score in english literature yesterday. âwhatever,â you repeat, not wanting to him to sense your sulkiness. âstop staring.â you wave a hand in front of his face to get him to look away, to which he relents after a moment.
jake would stare in shock and awe if he ever found out how this rivalry actually drives your anger. losing to him is always frustrating, of course, but nothing is more soul crushing than the butterflies bouncing around in your stomach every time jake looks at you and the way you fail to will them away every single time.
âwasnât staring,â he disagrees, turning to face back towards the whiteboard, his leg beginning to bounce from the excess excitement.
âsure you werenât,â you respond dryly, utterly too exhausted to deal with his bickering today. not with that way that stupid button up with rolled sleeves fits snugly on his biceps, round silver rimmed glasses sitting lazily on his nose, strands of hair falling delicately across his face. to top it all off, heâs wearing a ring on his pointer finger, tapping it lightly against the edge of the desk. the sound is bothersome, but not as bothersome as how utterly attracted you are to the mere image of the metal around his long finger. long fingers that are attached to large hands that lead to buff, veiny arms and broad shoulders, the whole sight nearly making you drool.
he must know how absolutely attractive he is right now. he must.
âhey jake, you going to the party at heeseungâs frat tonight?â jungwon calls from the seat behind him.
jake turns, nodding slightly, âjay and hoon are forcing me to go, i told them i already had plans but they wouldnât listen,â you scoff, digging through your backpack for your laptop, knowing his plans were simply to study the entire weekend, plans that completely mirrored your own. he glances at you with an eyebrow raised in confusion before turning back to jungwon. âwhy?â
âthe sorority girls are all coming,â jungwon cracks a smile, the smugness in his voice dripping with every word that tumbles out. he lowers his voice, leaning in as you still, trying to listen to jungwonâs hushed tone. âkarinaâs gonna be there, bro.â
you freeze, eyes glancing up as you pray youâve heard wrong. yu karina of phi mu royalty? the most gorgeous girl on campus who also, unfortunately for your cynical brain who wants so desperately to hate the girl, happens to be the kindest person on earth? of course jake would be interested in her, just like half the student body is.
jake nods slightly, muttering a âthanks, jungwon,â before turning back towards the front. you busy yourself with logging into your laptop, willing your brain to think about anything other than jake and karina together.
god, this is going to be a long day.
luckily enough, friday is the day where you only see jake once during your courses. you head home to your on campus apartment after the day ends, tired of your racing thoughts and hoping to recover in the confines of your warm blanket, cozied up with a good book and a cup of tea before doing some nightly revision.
you are not allowed such a reprieve from the day.
ây/nieeee!â wonyoung greets you at the door, a bright smile gracing her face. âweâre going out tonight!â
you drop your bag on the sofa before plopping down next to it, sinking deep into the cushions. âno, wony, weâre not going to heeseungâs party.â
her smile drops, pretty lips curling into a small frown, âwhy? and how did you even know thereâs a party at heeseungâs tonight?â
âdoesnât matter. weâre absolutely not going.â
she huffs, stomping her foot lightly. âcome onnnn y/n! donât you ever get tired of working yourself to the bone week after week? i think you need a break, even if just for the night.â
you sigh, rubbing at your face with your hands, trying to fend off the impending headache that started on your walk from your classroom. you relent to her, a small sigh escaping your lips before you mutter, âjakeâs going to be there.â
âand? donât you want him to see your sexy ass in something skimpy?â
your cheeks burn at the insinuation of sim jake having his eyes on you in any context other than a negative one. âno, plus karina is going to be there. heard jungwon mentioning her specifically to him in physics today. so iâd rather not go and see something thatâll hurt my spirit more.â you pause for a moment, âhe already beat my score on our physics quiz this morning, and i havenât stopped thinking about him and her together all day. so can we please stay home?â
wonyoung sighs deeply, sitting down next to you. âwho cares if theyâre going to be there? youâre y/l/n y/n, you deserve to have a life outside of academics and obsessing over jake. and if he does get with her? then fuck him!â
you can feel your resolve breaking, knowing you can never truly say no to wonyoung with her pleading eyes and tiny pout.
âoh my god, fine.â you relent, sighing deeply when she jumps off of the couch with a little squeal. âoh iâm so excited! letâs go to your room, i know exactly what youâre going to wear.â
and thatâs how you ended up standing outside heeseungâs frat house, your comfy tennis shoes contrasting the skin tight strappy black dress with a plunging neckline that wonyoung forced you to wear. âiâm not breaking my fucking ankle just so you can have more fun playing dress up, wony. itâs the dress and these shoes or iâm taking my ass there in sweatpants and no bra.â
âcome on, letâs get a drink,â wonyoung grabs your hand and pushes her way through the crowd of bodies, âweâre probably gonna need it.â
âwelcome ladies! wonyoung, nice to see you again.â you are both greeted by park jay mixing drinks when you step into the precipice of the kitchen. he does a double take when his eyes register you in front of him. âand y/n, wow! you look drop dead gorgeous. iâve never seen you at one of these parties before.â
your cheeks burn lightly as you opt to ignore his comment, knowing jayâs reputation with the student body for being a man who⊠definitely gets around. wonyoung lets go of your hand, beginning to browse the drink options laid out on the kitchen island in front of her. âyeah, wonyoung made me.â you respond, coming to stand on the opposite side of jay as you eye the shaker in his hands. âyou playing bartender?â he nods slightly. âwhatâs the strongest thing you can make me?â
jay chuckles in response as he pours what he was mixing in the tumbler. âhere, try this,â he hands you the cup. you take a reluctant sip, the liquid going down with a strong burn. you shake your head lightly in response to the strength before downing the entire cup in a few gulps, needing the liquid confidence desperately.
âa woman after my own heart,â he stares for a moment before handing you another drink, this one pre-prepared. âtry this one. donât down it all at once though, i wonât be able to satisfy you if you keep that up.â
you nod, taking a small sip before a warm feeling begins to settle in your belly. âthis one is tastier.â
âfigured youâd like it, a sweet drink for a sweet girl.â
wonyoung cocks an eyebrow at him before shaking her head lightly at the way his gaze is completely on you, the ogling heâs giving your curves going right over your head but catching her attention instead. âme next, bartender.â he nods, turning back to face the counter. âyour regular?â she nods in response, walking around him to slide up against you.
âyou have a regular?â you giggle at her. wonyoung nods lightly, the small smile never leaving her lips, âjayâs been playing bartender for me since we were still in high school.â
jay makes wonyoung her drink and hands it over and the two of you exit the kitchen, opting to walk outside for some fresh air and maybe a free spot on the lawn to sit down at. there are small clumps of people scattered around the impeccably green lawn. people sip from cups and bottles, a few from cans. there are fairy lights strewn across the underside of the covered porch, and you wonder which frat memberâs girlfriend convinced them to put them there. the moon illuminates the darker parts of the lawn, some of them coated in artificial light from various tiki torches strewn about aimlessly, stuck into the group roughly.
âwonyoung!â lee heeseungâs booming voice carries across the lawn from where heeseung and sunghoon are playing beer pong. âcome join!â
you approach the table, ây/n, is that you?â you nod, smiling. âhi, heeseung.â
âis this your first frat party?â you nod again and he cracks a smile in response. âhow are you enjoying it?â
âwe just got here, so i havenât seen much.â heeseung nods, scooting over on his side of the ping pong table.
âbe my partner, wonyoung go stand by hoon.â you find nothing inside of you that wants to argue, knowing that you and heeseung get along, as much as two people who donât know each other all that well can get along.
you glance up at heeseung as you stand next to him, âiâve never played, heeseung.â his smile grows wider at your admission. âwell, itâs our turn, so let me show you.â
heeseung moves you to stand in front of him, pressing you between the edge of the table and his wide t-shirt covered chest. âso grab the ball,â he places it in your hand before covering it with his own, much larger one. âaim, and toss!â heeseung guides you to toss the ball, it lands in one of the cups with a satisfying plop and you smile, glancing up at him where heâs smiling back down at you.
across the lawn, unbeknownst to you, an irritated sim jaeyun is ignoring his conversation with karina, watching the way heeseung is crowding your space and holding your hand. heâs not mad, no, why the hell would he be mad? he hates you. heâs got the yu karina in front of him giving him bedroom eyes, yet all he can focus on is the way heeseung presses himself against your back. jake feels the strange anger brewing inside his gut, completely checked out of his conversation with karina.
karina is here, ripe for the taking, absolutely willing and eager to flirt with jake, but all he can manage to do is stare at you, willing you with his mind to glance over at him, to see him standing here with her. he canât believe youâre standing so close to his best friend, basically inviting him to fuck you in front of everyone here with your innocent stare.
wonyoung takes the cup and downs it, ânext time let her throw for herself, hee.â sunghoon accuses, âno cheating in beer pong, man.â
ây/nâs never played!â heeseung defends, never moving from where heâs got you trapped, his body feeling so close and his towering size intimidating you a bit. âhad to teach her, itâs the least i can do.â
before he can register how his body is reacting, jakeâs leaving karina without so much as a second glance as his legs carry him over to the table. âmove over hoon,â jake commands from the other side of the table. heeseung meets jakeâs eye, having a silent conversation that not even sunghoon is privy to. heeseung gives sunghoon a look and sunghoon relents, allowing jake to take his place before wandering off to see jay in the kitchen and maybe find out if riki is passed out somewhere. wonyoung catches your gaze, her eyes as confused as yours are at the sudden intrusion. âgonna school you, y/n, just like i did in physics this morning.â
you roll your eyes while heeseung feels your body tense in his hold. âitâs okay, we got this. jake sucks at beer pong.â he says lowly, smiling to reassure you. you nod your head in response.
jake does, in fact, suck at beer pong, a fact you become well aware of within his first few throws. usually jake is decent at beer pong! but heeseung has watched jake down multiple drinks this evening, and when jake gets drunk, his beer pong skills significantly drop off. jake swears under his breath with every miss, hatred brewing behind his gaze every time he sees the way heeseung keeps you held in place, the way the pair of you celebrate every successful toss with a small high five, heeseungâs hand dwarfing yours in size.
âyou lose, jakey boy,â heeseung announces as you sink the last ball with a bit of guidance from him. jake downs the last cup before slamming it back down on the table, the flimsy plastic being crushed beneath his hand a bit. heeseung gives you a squeeze of the shoulders and one last high five, âdonât be a sore loser, man.â heeseung moves, finally letting you escape as you walk to meet wonyoung at the other end of the table. heeseung grabs jake by the scruff of his neck, guiding him to another part of the backyard.
âgod, that was so weird.â wonyoung shakes her head, âwhy was jake so mad? and heeseung is being weird tooâŠâ
the words swim in your own brain. was jake mad that you were there at all? youâve never been to one of heeseungâs parties before, so that could be it, he could feel like youâre intruding on his space. youâd feel the same way if he ever raided one of you and wonyoungâs girlsâ nights; though wonyoung would argue that that is a completely different situation if she ever heard your battling thoughts. was it because heeseung was so close to you? did he think you were cheating at beer pong like sunghoon did? thatâs just too many questions for your already intoxicated brain to handle. your heart swelled at the fleeting thought that maybe he was angry that heeseung was close to you for an entirely different reason, completely unrelated to the game or his urge to beat you in every aspect of your shared existence.
âi think itâs time for us to go home,â you interject her ramblings, the entire situation beginning to overwhelm you, âiâm feeling tired.â
wonyoung eyes you with a raised eyebrow and a slightly squeaky whine as the two of you walk inside, âwe just got here! come dance with me at least for a little bit.â
across the lawn, heeseung is scolding jake. âwhy are you being a fucking asshole to y/n, bro? sheâs just trying to have a good time.â
âme? being an asshole? thatâs rich coming from you, you weâre basically fucking her against the table, heeseung!â
heeseung rolls his eyes, knowing he was being very tame in comparison to some of the compromising situations jake has seen him in before. and itâs not like you or heeseung felt that way about each other. âi knew youâd be mad at that. jake, open your fucking eyes. people who actually hate each other donât feel that way you do about her.â
jakeâs drunk mind refuses to relent to heeseungâs words, always needing to be right and knowing heeseung is dead wrong, âshut the fuck up, you donât know what youâre talking about.â
âi do, actually, and i know better than you do.â heeseung shakes his head, sighing, âyouâre too stubborn for your own good, sim.â
âfuck off man,â jake shakes himself out of heeseungâs grasp, heading inside for god only knows what reason. just to get away from heeseung and from his confusing thoughts of you, he supposes, in his far too drunk mind.
wonyoung tugs you into the living room thatâs been taken over as a dance floor, but you tear away from her before she can drag you into the sea of people, trying to avoid dancing entirely. âiâm going to find the bathroom,â wonyoungâs attention is grabbed by a mutual friend of yours and she stays to chat with them, watching you stumble into a nearby hallway out of the corner of her eye, following your figure until you disappear around a corner, worry bubbling in her gut.
someone stumbles into you, nearly knocking you onto your ass. âhey, watch where youâre g-â
your sentence is cut off by someone pressing you against the wall in the dark corner of the hall, your eyes rising to meet a pair of pretty brown ones, jakeâs pupils wide from how buzzed he is right now. you can feel yourself tensing in his hold, both scared and turned on from the mere proximity of his body. the heat of his body overwhelms you as he places one hand on your waist, the other against the wall at the side of your head, trapping you in place beneath his towering frame. âget off of me, sim,â you push against his chest, his body not moving an inch. fuck him and his broad shoulders and his thick, toned arms.
âare you trying to piss me off or something?â jake seethes, and you can see the anger in his eyes and the way he grips your hip tightly, threatening to leave a bruise. âtrying to fuck all my friends? just opening your legs for every one of them like a whore?â
âfuck off, jake!â you argue, anger bubbling as you watch his eyes scan across your face, trying to ignore the bubbling arousal building in your gut, overwhelmed by his voice, eyes, presence, all of him being so terrifyingly close to you. âif i wanted to fuck all your friends, i already wouldâve!â
jakeâs hand next to your head is suddenly gripping your chin, forcing your head to look up further and stare up at his face. he sucks at the inside of his cheek, trying to reel his anger back in. âlisten here, princess. none of my friends would ever fuck you, so stop trying before you embarrass yourself. youâre pathetic,â he moves his hand from your chin to wrap around your throat lazily. you canât help the way your panties stick to you, wetness growing at the sight of him degrading you, his big hand wrapped around your delicate neck. you can feel your brain slipping already. âyouâre worthless, do you understand me?â
you nod dumbly, swallowing a bit of spit to keep yourself from drooling.
âgood girl,â is all his drunk brain can tell you, voice gravelly and lower than youâve ever heard. his vocal tone makes the feeling in the pit of your stomach reignite. âremember your place, doll.â you nod mindlessly again before he lets go of your throat, his hand at your waist shoving you away from him. âget out of here before i have to teach you a lesson.â
monday rolls around unceremoniously, and knowing youâll have to see jake first thing this morning is making you consider skipping class entirely.
you shake your head, knowing that nobody, especially not a man, is worth jeopardizing your grades over. no matter how annoyingly attractive he is.
you plop down in your seat, ready for the lecture. jake saunters in, his usual smile plastered on his face before it drops at the mere sight of you. your heart sinks, knowing that even your academic rivalry has never produced that sort of reaction from him.
âso, you and heeseung, huh?â
jake sits down next to you, eyeing you inquisitively. âwhat? absolutely not!â you hiss, âwhy the hell would you think that, sim?â
âbeer pong,â he mentions, in a tone that makes you feel like youâre stupid. âi donât like heeseung and i know he doesnât like me. be serious now, jake.â you scold him, desperately hoping heâll drop this.
âdidnât seem like it to me,â is all he says before tugging his laptop out of his bag and watching as the professor walks in the classroom.
âwhatever, sim,â you brush him off, and the rest of your sentence gets caught on your tongue. ânot like i care what you think,â you wish you could say, despite knowing just how much of a lie it is.
âgood morning everyone, i finally have your test from last week fully graded,â your history teacher greets everyone and begins winding up and down the aisles, handing back papers with various numbers scribbled on top of each.
she places your paper gently on your desk, a huge smile greeting your face once you see the large 100 sitting on top in deep red ink.
âdonât start gloating now, princess. i got the same. you're not special,â jakeâs words kill your remaining semblance of a good mood, feeling like heâs being meaner than he usually is.
âjake itâs 8 am, stop being such an asshole so early in the morning.â you fight, shoving the paper in your bag unceremoniously, missing the small frown that flits across his features. his thoughts flick back to heeseung scolding him at the party, making the frown grow on his face. you nose scrunches at his actions not turning you on like they normally did, instead just making you angry at him.
he shouldnât feel bad, he really shouldnât, and he's tricked his brain into thinking he truly doesn't care. your relationship has always been like this. something about seeing you this weekend made jake extra angry, and youâre the one he needs to take it out on. and if he kills your mood to match his already bad one? then all the better for his ego, annoying you being one of his favorite past times.
he continues his nasty quips throughout the rest of class, ones you try your hardest to ignore but somehow they slip under your armor and make hits at your fragile heart every single time.
after spending your down time studying in the library, you reach your next course and sit next to jake in math, leg bouncing roughly at the anxiety brewing at the thought of losing to jake again.
âoh thank god,â you sigh in relief, a 99 with a large circle sitting at the top of your surprise quiz from last week. jake feels his face twitch as he glances over to find your test sporting a higher score. he never loses to you in math, and he can feel his anger boiling.
âlucky break, y/n,â he bites, not missing the way your eyes turn downcast silently instead of fighting him with a quick, competitive response. jake doesnât know why the sight of you ignoring him and not even arguing back makes his heart twinge.
class after class for the rest of the week, you keep topping jakeâs score, but you canât bring it in yourself to care. you feel like his combative words are filled with real venom now, versus the usual merely competitive undertones that they carry. sure, you enjoy when heâs mean sometimes, but it feels like heâs somehow crossed an imaginary line between sexy and hateful. and your brain can only take so much negative rhetoric before youâre closing in on yourself, blurring the edges of your consciousness to prevent any more hurt from being cast upon your body and mind. you barely stumble your way through the week, struggling to even drag yourself to class every day, knowing youâll be met with his usually soft brown eyes staring daggers into your side profile.
youâre so worn down from the emotional toll this week has taken on you that you donât even care that wonyoung shoves you into another tiny dress and drags you to another party hosted by heeseung. you choose to keep your inner turmoil to yourself, and wonyoung relents, allowing you to have your secrets for now despite being able to sense that something is absolutely wrong.
âjay, give y/n what you gave her last weekend, she needs it.â
âwelcome back, pretty girl,â jay greets you, âbad week?â you nod numbly, meeting his gaze with obviously tired eyes. âlet jay help you.â he gives you a soft smile, beginning to whip up exactly what he gave you last weekend.
âthank you, jay,â jay notices the smile doesnât reach your eyes, but he doesnât take it personally. âanytime, pretty.â
wonyoung grabs the nearest bottle of whatever beer theyâve stocked up on for this so called rager and follows you as you wander aimlessly. she grips your elbow, leading you to an open seat on the sofa in the living room. the party is less packed than last weekend, with only a few people mingling around the house, the living room no longer being taken over by an impromptu dance floor.
âhi y/n, hey wonyoung,â jungwon greets the pair of you, dropping down into the cushion next to wonyoung. âwhatâs up? enjoying the party?â
you nod simply, nursing your cup gently as your eyes canât focus on any one thing in the room, vision slightly fuzzy and never once regaining clarity as you let all thoughts leave your head.
âyou with us, y/n?â wonyoung waves a hand in front of your face. unbeknownst to you, ten minutes had already passed and both wony and jungwon had watched you as you barely even moved, aside from the cup occasionally being pressed to your lips. âyeah, sorry.â you mumble out. wonyoung gives your shoulder a small squeeze before rising to her feet. âweâll be right back, jungwon and i need a refill, okay?â you nod as her figure disappears into the house.
a large shadow casts above you, drawing your attention up to meet big brown eyes. âwhy are you here? here to gloat some more?â
a small sigh leaves your lips as you tear your gaze from him before downing your drink at once, eyes fluttering shut. you place the cup on the coffee table in front of you before looking back up at him, âi donât have the energy to fight with you right now, jake. please just leave me alone.â
jake sits down next to you, hand resting on your knee as he whispers lowly for only you to hear, âso youâre trying to act like you didnât just kick my ass all week? youâre not gonna say anything about that?â
you nod a little, unable to meet his gaze, âjake, iâm so tired, please. i donât want to fight right now.â
seeing the vision of you, a usually fiery, independent, self assured woman, surrendering to his words so easily causes a twitch in jakeâs pants, his jeans beginning to feel a little too snug all of a sudden. âis that so?â he teases, his anger from the week still present in the undertones of his speech. âso you donât even have the energy to be a good rival and taunt me back?â
you shake your head, âjake, please,â you whine, and its music to his ears. he squeezes your knee lightly, invading your space some more. âplease what, angel?â
your cheeks burn at the sudden nickname, mouth going dry at the three little words heâs just whispered to you. you stare at him with doe eyes and a shut mouth. âwhat is it, you can tell me.â he tries to coax the admission out of you.
âjust so tiredâŠâ you relent, limbs feeling heavy.
jake stands and pulls you to your feet, ignoring how heavy his cock feels behind his denim as he leads you upstairs, âcome on, letâs go find somewhere you can lie down.â the sudden kindness heâs showing you would strike you as strange if you were in your right mind, but the fogginess taking over your brain hides how absolutely weird this would be on a normal day between you and jake.
jake tugs the door of heeseungâs room open, guiding you inside before shutting the door and locking it. âlie down.â his voice is gentle, coaxing you into submission and a sense of calm, feeling safer knowing youâre away from the crowd and are able to breathe a little better without a thin sheen of smoke filling your lungs and obscuring your vision.
you obey, crawling under the covers that heâs pulled back for you before he tucks you under the plush material. âyou shouldnât be here while youâre feeling like this,â jake scolds you. your eyes shut gently, already falling asleep with a heavy heart and heavier limbs. jake watches you with a protective gaze as you drift off into dreamland, a sigh leaving his lips knowing you might finally have time to just exist, versus your usual act of constantly pushing yourself to the limit and further.
âyou canât just let people crash in my room, jake!â
âitâs y/n, hee.â jake glances up at the taller man for a moment, âshe⊠something was wrong, but i didnât want to send her home by herself. wonyoung certainly wasnât going to go with her.â he scoffs at your roommateâs inability to grasp how strange you were acting. heeseungâs eyebrows shoot up at this admission, nodding slightly. âis she okay now?â he questions.
âsheâs still sleeping,â heeseung had caught jake sneaking out of his room trying to get you a glass of water for when you wake up, planning to run up and continue watching you as you slept. not in a creepy way, just in a i donât want anybody to come in this room trying to fuck on heeseungâs bed while y/n is sleeping there kind of way, as well as a i need to make sure no one tries to take advantage of her kind of way. why he wanted to do all of this, why he was treating you this way at all was still a mystery to him. âdidnât want anyone coming in and waking her up or messing with her while sheâs sleeping.â
heeseung scoffs a bit at his answer, âyou still donât get it, do you?â
jake watches him with a blank stare, âget what?â he shakes his head in response, muttering a quiet ânothing,â before peeking inside his room to check on you.
âsheâs fine, heeseung.â jake argues, quietly yanking the door shut. âlet her sleep.â
heeseung shakes his head, âjust let her uber home with wonyoung,â he suggests, testing the waters further to prove his theory is rocksolid.
jake gives him a glare that could kill, âdid you not fucking listen to a word i just said?â
bingo.
âiâm kidding, chill.â
jake lets the comment go as well as he can, âif youâre done saying stupid shit, can you go grab me some water for when she wakes up?â heeseung scoffs at his words, but returns shortly with a bottle of water, to which jake gives him a small thank you in return.
âjust⊠try not to be an asshole when she wakes up, okay?â
you donât know how you got home that night. wonyoung told you it was jungwon ordering the three of you an uber, opting to leave with you since he lives in your building with sunoo and riki as his roommates. the rest of the weekend passes unceremoniously, your color slowly coming back after an absolutely off week. as you slouch down into the chair next to his on monday morning, you can only hope jake doesnât fuck up your good mood as fast as he did last week.
âhad a fun weekend?â you canât decipher the tone of his voice.
âit was fine, i guess.â you shrug in response. âi donât remember most of it.â you admit, not even caring how absolutely embarrassing that sounds, especially coming from someone of your academic caliber and positive reputation.
jakeâs face seems to drop at your admission, quickly shaking off the expression, âwell, are you ready for another week of me kicking your ass?â
âweâll see about that, sim.â you smirk lightly, feeling your spark in this rivalry returning a bit, along with your deeply imbedded feelings for the man beside you. jake seems to have let go of the intense hatred he was holding the previous week, a friendly feeling returning to your long standing rivalry. âdonât think iâm gonna go easy on you, now.â
jake smiles secretly, happy to see the pep back in your step, so to speak. he hated seeing you the way you were at the party, your eyes looking lifeless and staring into the void aimlessly before he laid you down for a well deserved nap.
âhmm, whatâd you get?â you peer down at the paper your professor has just laid in front of you. â97. you?â
â98.â
jake groans loudly, âgod, you canât just let me win, can you?â a smile graces your lips, ânope, youâll have to fight me for it, sim.â
âalright, you two,â jay teases the two of you and you turn to face him. ây/n, youâll never guess what today is.â he smiles brightly.
âiâm not sure, what is it, jay?â
âitâs my birthday, and iâm throwing a party at the frat tonight.â you smile at his admission, âwill i see you there?â
jake shakes his head, teasing, âno, sheâs probably gotta stud-â
âsure,â you interrupt jake, shooting him a glare before looking back at jay, âiâll be there, jay.â you offer him a small smile, one which he mirrors while jake looks between the two of you with a scowl.
oh, youâre gonna get it.
you arrive at jayâs party, opting for a more casual pleated skirt and t-shirt since jay told you it was casual wear and he wanted a chill vibe, just some close friends. youâre assuming he invited you because of wonyoung, who had to opt out of tonightâs festivities since the poor girl caught a nasty case of the flu over the weekend. you heated up some canned soup for her and made tea before leaving for the night, telling her to text you immediately if she starts to feel worse.
âhi, gorgeous,â heeseung smiles at you, greeting you warmly and placing a drink in your hands.
âhi, heeseung,â you return his smile, watching him over the rim of your solo cup as you take a sip. âdamn, this is nasty. what the hell is this?â
he shrugs lightly, âbeats me. jayâs mingling instead of making drinks, so sunghoonâs doing the best that he can, i guess.â you nod before bravely taking another sip of the gross concoction.
âwhereâs the birthday boy?â
âask and he shall appear,â jay smiles, coming to stand next to heeseung, âhi, angel, glad you could make it.â you smile at the two men towering over you. âthanks for inviting me, and wony sends her apologies. she got sick over the weekend.â
âthatâs alright, hope she feels better.â heeseung says before the two of them begin whisking you off into another part of the house. heeseung separates from you and jay to greet a few people, jayâs hand on your waist to guide you without you getting lost. âi heard hoonâs making drinks? this is nasty, jay, have you taught him nothing?â you tease, glancing behind you at a loud noise sounds behind you. after finding nothing, you begin to turn back to jay before your eyes find jake standing with karina. the sight makes your blood boil, but you nearly shiver after finding him already staring over at you and jay out of the side of his eye. you shake off his dark stare, returning to your conversation with jay, not noticing the way his hand hasnât left your waist despite the two of you no longer moving through the house.
âiâll be right back,â jake tells karina, no longer focused on their conversation. karina scoffs lightly, knowing this is the second time in two weeks that jake has left her high and dry while sheâs been trying to talk to him.
âjay,â jake greets his best friend, earning him a look of confusion from the birthday boy, ây/n, can i talk to you?â you glance at jay with a confused look, the man in front of you mirroring the same expression back at you.
âiâ sure, jake.â you relent, setting down your already empty cup on a random surface before heâs tugging your arm, not caring about the searing grip he has on your wrist.
âdidnât i warn you to not fuck my friends?â jakeâs hushed voice meets your ears, a frown pulling onto your lips at the question. you donât remember talking about being attracted to any of his friends at all, let alone with jake himself.
âwhat are you talking about, sim?â you question, growing irritated at the implication that he probably thinks youâre easy.
âgod, youâre so stupid sometimes,â he growls, pressing you against a bedroom door in the empty hallway. âyou donât even see them all eye fucking you? donât be naive, y/n.â
you shake your head, convinced heâs fucking with you. âjake, your friends arenât eye fucking me itâs called being friends with the opposite sex, you should try it instead of being an asshole all the time!â
jake yanks the handle near your hip, tugging the door open and shoving both of you inside before locking it behind him. âyou drive me up the fucking wall, you know that?â
âthe feeling is mutual, sim,â you deadpan. âare you done yelling at me? iâm ready to leave this fucking room and get far away from you. iâm trying to enjoy myself tonight, jake, i donât need you fucking with my mood again.â
the dam in his mind breaks, and suddenly jake feels all his resolve slip away. he pushes you up against the closed door and squishes you against it. âgod, youâre so fucking annoying, you know that? always know how to push my fucking buttons.â
the proximity has you holding your breath, waiting for his next searing words to tumble out of those plush lips.
âstop staring at my lips,â he demands, taking both of your wrists in one grip of his hand and holding them above your head. âyou gonna keep making me mad?â
âstop fucking with me, jake, let me leave.â you know your words hold no weight in either of your minds, your body betraying you as your arousal is evident in the way your legs squeeze together.
jake shakes his head, âyou need to shut up and take what i give you, since youâre so ready to be a slut for all my friends.â he grips your chin and squishes your cheeks with his other hand. âyou gonna behave for me? or are you gonna be a brat?â
you finally relent, letting go of your argumentative front that youâve put up around him for years as his grip on your cheeks loosens. you relish in the feeling of allowing him to take control, of jake offering you a moment to just exist without any expectations or responsibilities, to let him take care of you completely, ââm gonna be good for you, jake.â you watch him with big eyes, his stare unrelenting as he watches you for any sort of discomfort.
âyou sure you can take it, angel? iâm not gonna be nice.â you nod briefly, trying to use your hand before he grips tighter, âwhat is it, pretty? you can still back out now.â he tells you, giving you full control of the situation for a moment.
he watches a look flash across your face before you look downwards, embarrassed at the thought of what youâre about to ask. jake tugs your face to look back at up at him roughly, âwant you to choke me,â you mumble. he grins wildly at your admission, hand on your chin snaking down to rest at the base of your neck. âlike that, baby?â you nod slightly, pressing your legs further together under his intense stare. âtell jake what else you need.â
you take advantage of his momentary kindness to lean forward and capture his plump lips in a kiss, dirty and messy and utterly desperate. desperate for his touch, however you can get it. jake returns the favor, slotting his lips against yours, feeling every crevice of your gorgeous lips under his own. he fights back a moan, knowing he needs to maintain dominance over the situation. he squeezes tighter on your neck and you let out a small moan, allowing him to press his tongue into your mouth. you nearly gasp at the intrusion, relishing in the feeling of him nearly eating you from the inside out.
jake pulls away to stare back at your face, your expression already portraying how utterly fucked out you are just from a few touches. âcanât just take what youâre given, can you? greedy girl.â his tone is laced with warning.
âi can take it,â you argue lightly and he chuckles before moving you from the door to the bed, making you lie down on the mattress in front of him. âpromise.â
âi believe you.â jake admits, sinking down to his knees and flipping your skirt up before pressing his nose against your clothed core. âbet you taste delicious, angel,â he stays there for a moment, licking against the fabric of your panties before pulling away. jake stands back up and unbuckles his belt, âanother time, baby. need to fuck the attitude right out of you. always getting on my nerves.â
you watch as jake drops his pants and boxes just below his knees, revealing a thick, veiny cock with a blushing red tip. your cheeks go redder at the sight of him, already afraid of the stretch, âyouâre so big.â the words tumble out of you without realization, your cheeks burning at the sudden admission.
âi told you iâm the best, baby,â he taunts you, âdonât worry, iâll make you take it all like the cock slut we both know you are.â jake rips your panties, pulling a gasp from your chest as he holds the tip against your wet folds, the sight hidden from you by your skirt, âgod, this turns you on, doesnât it? when i call you a pretty little whore?â he feels your walls tighten slightly around his tip at his words and smirk casts over jakeâs lips. âso all this time, my little angel has been getting wet every time we talk? dirty girl.â you shake your head, trying to hide your embarrassed face as your cheeks heat up. âdonât lie baby, i can feel you clenching around me.â
all the air is knocked out of your lungs when jake buries his huge length all the way inside, your hands going up to grab his biceps for something to hang onto as he begins ravaging you with a brutal pace, âsee what you do to me? you make me so fucking angry, i canât help but take it all out on you.â he feels your walls flutter around him as his thick cock drags against you, feeling every ridge of your pussy as his tip bruises your cervix with repeated precision. âgod, youâre taking me so well, tiny little pussy was made to be destroyed by my big cock, wasnât it?â
you nod dumbly, feeling cock drunk already, feeling yourself slip further away from reality with every drag of his veiny dick passing through you. jake fucks you into the mattress like heâs trying to split your entire body in half. you canât get enough as jake moves your arms for a moment to tear your shirt off your body hastily, both hands reaching around and unclasping your bra before discarding both items somewhere in this random bedroom. he watches your tits bounce with each deep thrust, âgod look at your tits baby, fuckâ i could just eat you alive right now.â
âplease,â you whine, not knowing what youâre whining for. âplease what, my pretty little slut?â you donât answer him, moaning loudly as he takes both your tits in his grasp, a hand holding each in a grip thatâll surely leave a mark.
âthatâs what i thought,â he quips as he continues to plow into you, his head starting to spin from the feeling of your walls sucking him in with every thrust, never fully accommodating his size, âfuck, just take it all like a good cock slut, you were made to take me.â
his squeezing of one of your tits halts, moving down to pinch your swollen clit harshly, smiling wickedly at the groan of pain and pleasure that escapes your mouth. âtoo much?â you nod roughly, pleading eyes meeting his dark gaze, âtoo fucking bad.â
jake begins alternating between pinching and slapping your clit, relishing at the slight squeeze each action grants him, feeling himself tumbling to the edge already. âdonât you dare fucking cum,â he warns as he grabs your hips, shoving you up and down on his length like a fuckdoll, and you take it, sitting pretty with gasps leaving your parted lips as he chases his own pleasure. âfuuuuuck,â jake stills, cumming deep inside you, holding your hips flush to his body until heâs milked his own cock dry. you can feel your body on the edge of an orgasm as you wait for jake to finish you off now that heâs cum inside you.
he pulls out, watching his cum drip out of your gaping hole, âgod, you still make me so fucking mad,â jake shoves his length back inside roughly, stuffing his cum back into you, âcanât wait to watch you come undone beneath me.â he moans, rubbing rough circles against your clit. you throw your head back, moaning his name loudly.
âthatâs it, pretty baby, let everyone know whoâs making you feel this good,â jake leans in and bites the skin on your neck, sucking and licking at the spot to soothe it after. he places a sloppy, open mouthed kiss there before leaning up and prying your lips apart, mouth opening obediently. your eyes open in shock, watching him hover above you before he spits in your mouth, then sliding his hand down to rest at the base of your neck, squeezing lightly. âswallow it.â you follow his instructions promptly, a moan escaping your lips after feeling it slide down your throat paired with the pressure heâs applying.
âcum all over my cock, angel,â jake growls in your ear, the grit in his voice causing your dam to break, the rubber band in your stomach snapping before your eyes roll back, colors passing through your vision and limbs feeling numb and tingly as jake fucks you through your orgasm.
âjake, stopââ you attempt to push him off, your actions doing nothing to halt his movements, feeling overstimulated as your orgasm finishes washing over your body. âjakeââ
jake leans in, capturing your lips in a messy, sloppy kiss to distract you as he slowly slips out of you, taking his fingers and shoving the cum mixture back into your leaking hole. he pulls away, glancing down at the sight of both of your fluids leaking out of you, groaning at the sight, âfuck, youâre perfect,â his head feels dizzy as he catches your lips again, biting softly against your bottom lip before pulling away again. âlet me clean you up,â jake presses a final kiss against your lips, resisting the urge to slip his tongue down your throat as far as it can reach.
he returns shortly with a wet cloth from the en suite bathroom, manhandling you to sit further up against the pillows before wiping you down, getting the cum out of your gaping hole. he returns to the bathroom, wiping himself off before tugging his jeans back onto his hips and tossing the washcloth in the trash. whatever frat brother this room belongs to certainly wonât be missing thatâŠ
you stare up at the ceiling, panting and wiping the sweat from your forehead. âfuck.â
âfuck what? fuck you? i just did,â he argues, grabbing your torn panties from wherever they landed in the room and pocketing them discreetly.
âshut up, sim,â you cover your eyes with your arm, refusing to look at him.
âhey, look at me,â jake pries your arm off and your eyes open slowly, the sight of him with his post sex glow knocking the wind out of you. âyou okay?â his question is sincere, his gaze on you doubly so. you nod lightly, a small smile taking over your features, âgood.â
âcanât believe you ripped my pantiesâŠâ you grumble, sitting up slightly to look for your shirt and bra. jakeâs hands grip your tits absentmindedly, âiâm not a fucking stressball, jake!â jake just laughs, pinching one of your nipples in retaliation, watching the nearly silent moan that leaves your perfect pink lips. âfuck, donât do that again unless you want another round.â
he perks up at the words, âyou really mean that?â
âiââ
a loud pounding on the door startles both of you, âopen the fuck up!â
you scramble to grab your bra and shirt, shoving them back on as jake wills his slowly rising dick to lower once more. he glances at you and you nod at him. jake unlocks the door and swings it open, meeting the eyes of a very tall, very angry man.
âget the fuck out, both of you,â he booms and the two of you scurry out quickly, a small giggle escaping your lips at the sight of his bright red, angry face.
âhe was gonna kick your ass, jakeâŠâ you tell him as the two of you rush down the hallway, unknowingly in the opposite direction of the living room.
âwouldâve been worth it,â jake smirks, stopping and gripping your hips lightly, the intimacy of his thumbs rubbing on your bare skin making your head spin, âyour pussy is heaven.â
you smile, small and subtle, eyes wide, ânot mad at me anymore?â
he shakes his lightly, âcould never really be mad at you.â jake offers you a coy smile.
âdoesnât seem like it,â you argue, smile slipping from your features the tiniest bit. âwell⊠every time you make me mad i can just fuck you like that again. is that what you want, pretty girl?â
your cheeks burn at the sudden nickname, âis that what you want, jake?â he nods slightly, âiâll fuck you whenever and where ever you want if youâll let me, baby. no strings attached.â
your heart drops at those three little words leaving his lips, hope of jake reciprocating your feeling sinking deeper into the abyss that clouds your mind most days. his offer is a glimmer of hope, your brain reeling to feel him like that again, even if heâs âfucking the attitudeâ out of you over and over. you nod, âyeah, iâd like that.â you half-lie, continuing to shield your true feelings from him.
âjust promise not to fuck any of my friends⊠youâre mine now.â you nod, heart fluttering at the implication of being jakeâs, and the sudden possessiveness heâs now displaying.
jakeâs grin grows, pulling you in by your hips for a frantic kiss, pushing his tongue past the expanse of your lips, exploring your mouth with need. you sink into his hold, stomach fluttering at the feeling of one of his hands reaching your ass, squeezing it in his large palm. you groan against his plush lips, allowing him to slip his tongue further down your throat.
âoh my godââ a shrill voice screeching from behind you has you pulling away from jake, seeing sunoo standing there, his hand now covering his eyes, âiâm so sorry, iâ jay just told me to round everyone up for cake.â he apologizes and promptly rushes back to the living room.
âdonât worry,â jake whispers, âi can make sure sunoo doesnât tell a soul, say the word and itâll be our little secret, angel.â
you nod slightly, staring up at him with wide eyes, âthank you, jake.â
âanything you need and iâll make it happen,â he promises, giving your ass one last squeeze and a small smack before guiding you forward, âgo join the party, iâll be there in a minute.â
âwhere have you been, dude?â heeseung questions jake after the cake is cut and shared, prompting the shorter man to shake his head. ânowhere important.â he can see the hidden smile on jakeâs face as heeseung watches him, smirking knowingly as he catches your eye in the crowd where youâre talking to riki and waves you over. you excuse yourself and approach the two of them, trying to hide the blush in your cheeks when you glance at jake.
âhi, y/n,â heeseung smiles, âwish you were here earlier, i kicked the birthday boyâs ass in beer pong. it was quite the show.â
you return his smile, âsorry i missed it,â you apologize sincerely, looking down at your plate as you break off another piece of cake to eat. heeseung glances at jake, the smirk still covering his lips. heeseung takes in the way the tips of jakeâs ears are turning red as he watches you place a piece of cake in your mouth. ânowhere important, right?â his low tone misses your ears as you munch happily on the vanilla treat.
shit.
jake smacks the back of his head, shooting daggers at his best friend as he whispers, âshut up.â
heeseung leans over to speak into jakeâs ear, âjust donât break her heart, jakey boy.â
things are normal between you and jake during the classes you share, for the most part. you canât stop staring, watching jake and zoning out as your professors drone on about whatever topic youâre covering during the period. you watch his eyes, beautiful and brown, as they stare forward, glancing to meet your gaze every once in a while. you watch his lips, perfectly plump and pink, which tug into a smirk every time jake catches you staring, biting down on his bottom lip at the sight of you watching him.
you take in the overwhelming presence of him, your nerves running in overdrive since the night before, knowing how absolutely stuffed he makes you feel, how jakeâs big hands burn where ever they touch, leaving you yearning to be constantly held by him and his soft palms. his hair urges to have a hand run through it, dark and falling across his face in a satisfying way, framing his forehead delicately.
everything about the man beside you overwhelms you, and you canât seem to look away.
god, youâre fucked.
âwhat the hell is going on between you and jake?â jay questions as you approach him, nearly falling into him as you try to walk around despite the slight buzz filling your bloodstream.
âjongseong, i donât know what youâre talking about,â you tell him, grabbing a seltzer from the fridge and cracking it open, not hesitating to take a few gulps before returning your gaze to him. his eyebrow is quirked up when you look at him again, âyouâve never called me by my government name,â jay challenges, smirking with a knowing look.
âshut up,â you move to cover his mouth, to which he swats your hand away easily, his tolerance much higher than yours. âno,â he argues grabbing your wrist as you try to smack him, âi wanna know.â
you narrow your eyes at him, an action he sees right through, knowing youâre not actually angry seeing the blush growing on your cheeks, ânothing is going on between me and jake.â
âno, thereâs something there,â jay tells you, âare you two fucking?â
you nearly spit your sip of seltzer out, coughing for a moment as he hits your back lightly, concern washing over jayâs sharp features. âjesus christ, y/n, donât die in the frat house, none of these idiots here would know how to help you.â
you shake your head, breathing returning to normal, âjay, weâre not fucking.â
âyouâre lying,â jay cracks a knowing smile, laughing lightly, âanyone with eyeballs is able to see thereâs something there.â
your resolve begins to crumble, the alcohol seeming to take over your brain more and more, âiâ i donât know what weâre doingâŠâ you shake your head lightly, âwe⊠we fucked on your birthday,â you relinquish. âi⊠i donât know how he feels about me, jay.â you hear a noise escape your throat, one that sounds far too vulnerable, and you chase the sound with another swig from the can in your hand. âi try not to think about feelings that much, honestly, theyâre so overwhelming.â
jay laughs, âyeah⊠me neither, donât worry,â he clinks his solo cup against your can and you both take a sip, âwho made the first move?â
âjay!â you shove him, âstop asking so many damn questions!â
âtell her not to shove me like that, jake,â jay says, watching you with satisfaction as your eyes go wide and you whip around to see jake approaching the two of you.Â
âdonât hit jay, princess, he has weak skin,â jake tells you, to which jay retorts with âfuck you, sim, youâre supposed to be on my side!â
princess?
well thatâs a new one⊠all of these new nicknames jake has given you since he fucked you have been driving your head crazy, less than platonic feelings swelling inside your tiny, drunk brain as you stare up at the man who grabs a water from the fridge.
âiâm on no oneâs side here,â jake argues, twisting the cap off and taking a sip of water. you watch his throat suck the liquid down, adamâs apple bobbing. your body buzzes in response to the small action, stopping yourself from reaching out and running a finger, or your tongue, over the expanse of his throat.
jay tucks a finger under your chin, pushing upwards to make your jaw return to the rest of your face. you smack him on the chest, âdonât touch me, jongseong,â you warn, trying to ignore the fact that you were nearly drooling over jake right in front of him.
âyou wanted him to see you drooling, then?â jay counters, voice low enough for jake to miss it.
âshut the hell up,â you ignore his words, eyes returning to jake who is watching you expectantly.
âiâll be back,â jay exits the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone in the dimly lit room among the various bottles of liquor lining the island and fridge.
âhi, gorgeous,â jake invades your space, pushing you backwards until your back is pressed against the edge of the cold granite countertop.
âjake!â you place your hands on his chest, trying to push him away, âare you trying to make sure people see us like this?!â jake wraps a hand around you, his palm splayed against your upper back, pressing you closer to him.
âmaybe.â
you shake your head, watching his eyes darken as he watches you, âdid you have fun talking to jay, baby?â
âjake, iâm not going to fuck him, so donât even start getting mad,â you warn.
âi know pretty, iâm the only one who gets to see you like that, arenât i?â your silence paired with flushed cheeks gives jake the answer heâs searching for, grinning in response. âgood.â
âmeet me in the bathroom at the end of the hall in two minutes,â he whispers into your ear before departing from the kitchen, the words making you squish your legs together. you wait with bated breath, watching as the clock on the microwave ticks to the next minute. fuck it, you mumble before setting your drink down and following him, knocking softly on the door before jake tugs you inside.
âhmm, eager, are we?â jake teases, locking the door and pulling you against him by your waist as he leans against the bathroom counter. âcouldnât wait any longer, could you?â you shake your head, words failing you as your face sits desperately close to his, desire swirling beneath your skin. âmy obedient girl.â
âwanna suck your dick,â you beg, jake groaning and leaning his head back at your admission, âfuck, pretty, you canât just say shit like that,â he pushes you down onto your knees, watching in awe as you instantly begin to fumble with his pants, tugging them down. you watch with wide eyes at the sight of his half hard dick sitting beneath his boxers, placing a kiss against the length through the fabric.
âdonât tease me, pretty girl,â jake warns, his tone conveying all the punishments youâd receive for disobeying him. âyes, sir,â you reply, the words going straight to jakeâs cock as it hardens in your grasp. âsay that again,â he groans, watching your tiny hand as youâre barely able to wrap all the way around his girth.
âsay what again? sir?â you watch his cock twitch in your hand, the sight bringing a smirk to your face, kitten licking his tip before placing a delicate kiss on his slit. âyouâre so big, sir, i donât know if youâre gonna fit in my mouthâŠâ you look up at him, blinking your eyes innocently.
you watch as his eyes darken at your actions, âiâll make it fit, angel,â he presses on the back of your head, guiding you to take his length in your mouth. you slide down, his long cock pressing into the back of your throat harshly, the girth of it stretching your mouth out. âfuck, look at youâ you were made to take my cock like this.â jake groans as he watches you suck him in, âmy cock.â he reiterates and you nod around his length, continuing to bob up and down before jake takes control, fucking your face.
you begin to drool around his length as you let him use your mouth for his own pleasure, âfuck, baby, taking me so wellâ letting me fuck your throat like this, youâd let me do anything to this perfect body, wouldnât you?â he doesnât need a reply, already knowing the answer as he admires the way your lips stretch around his length, the sight stirring a feeling deep in his stomach. jake thinks you look gorgeous like this, gazing up at him with wide eyes and a hungry gaze, somehow taking his cock deeper every time.
his tip hits the back of your throat repeatedly as jake fucks your face, chasing his high. you keep your mouth slacked, his girth and length making you feel completely stuffed, âlook at these tits,â jake watches your tits bounce beneath your tank top, âfuck, youâre perfect,â jake groans as you reach down and squeeze his balls with one of your hands, the other gripping his thigh to keep yourself upright as you sit back on your haunches.
âiâm gonna cum down that gorgeous throat,â jake babbles, even his mindless near-orgasm ramblings sound like music to your ears. he yanks you back and forth along his length a few more times before shoving your face against his pelvic bone, nose smushing against the space right above the base of his dick. you groan at the feeling of his cum hitting the back of your throat, âtake it all like the dirty slut you are,â jake commands, pulling away from your mouth slowly after his balls are empty, watching you with a lazy gaze. âswallow.â you follow his instructions promptly, gulping down before sticking your tongue out for him to examine, the sight nearly making him hard again. âgood fucking girl,â he praises you, tugging you up off of your knees to meet your lips in a searing kiss.
you groan realizing jake is tasting himself on your lips, the fact not seeming to bother the man as he pushes his tongue into your mouth hungrily, large hands holding your face possessively. âmine,â he whispers against your lips, feeling as you nod in response. âthank you, baby.â he presses one last, gentle kiss against your waiting lips as he tucks himself back into his jeans. âlet me make you feel good, too.â
you shake your head, resting both of your hands on his chest, a yawn rising from deep in your belly, âiâm okay, jakey,â you offer him a smile, âtired all of a sudden.âÂ
âcome on, iâll take you home.â
âi missed you,â wonyoung smiles as the two of you sit together in the library, âfeels like that damn flu took me out for fifty years,â she exaggerates, giggling lightly as she sips on her coffee through a small blue straw.
âi know. youâve missed⊠a lot.â you cover your face, embarrassment already heating your cheeks. âi⊠jake and i are sleeping together.â
wonyoung squeals and you glance around worryingly, watching as other students glare at the two of you. you smile in apology, turning to wonyoung and smacking her arm, to which she exclaims a small, âow!â
âwhy are you hitting me? this is so exciting!â she whisper yells.
you shake your head, âi mean, yeah itâs exciting, kind ofâŠâ you sigh before meeting her gaze, âhe doesnât⊠itâs⊠he made it clear that this is a no strings attached kind of situation.â
wonyoungâs eyes go wide, âyouâre lying!â you shake your head as her expression shows how much of a hard time she is having trying to process this information. âiâ and you agreed to that?â
you nod, shame dusting your face and ears in a deep pink hue, âi just⊠i couldnât say no, he had just finished fucking the brains out of my skull, and i think iâm just desperate to have him around in any way that i can⊠even if it means hurting myself in the process.â
âmy poor y/nnie⊠he still doesnât know you like him?â you shake your head, to which wonyoung sighs, âitâs been so long, why donât you just tell him? whatâs the worst that could happen?â
âyou know exactly what could happen, wony. i could fuck up years of a friendly-ish relationship, and double fuck up the situation we have now. feelings just get in the way of everything.â
wonyoung places her hand atop yours on the table, rubbing the back of your hand in a soothing motion, âwell, whatever you decide, it will all turn out okay. i promise. i donât think jake would ever hurt you on purpose.â
you inhale deeply at the thought of jake caring about you on more than a surface level. âdonât say that, donât get my hopes up⊠itâs just gonna hurt more when everything ends up exploding in my face.â
you donât know how jake convinced you to go to the library with him, citing something about how youâve been sucking in class these days and he needed to make sure you were studying so that he still had someone to compete against. which was a lie, you were doing just fine in class recently.
youâre absolutely trying to study, but feeling jake beside you makes it an impossible feat. your eyes skim over the digital textbook on your laptop in front of you as jake zones out at random areas of the room, every once in a while his eyes landing on you as he stares for a beat before allowing his eyes to wander around the room once more.
jakeâs leg is bouncing up and down as the two of you sit side by side, tapping a pattern on his jeans as he struggles to focus. you eye him up with a confused stare, âwhat is it?â
jake pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, the sight sending heat straight to your core. âyou donât wanna know, baby.â
his response has a strange bout of confidence sprouting inside your tummy. your hand rises to meet him, rubbing and squeezing on his inner thigh, scarily close to his dick thatâs getting harder by the second, âyou donât wanna do that, angel.â jake warns, watching you with a dark gaze. you can see the lust fluttering through his irises, dark and intoxicatingly addictive. you move up to his clothed bulge, giving him a feather light squeeze. jake bites back a groan, his head tipping back as his eyes flutter shut in an attempt to keep his composure. he leans over to whisper in your ear. you can feel his breath on your neck sending shivers up your spine.
âstop, or iâll bend you over this table right now and fuck you in front of everyone here.â
you gasp in response, grinning as you watch him with a mischievous look in your eye, one that heâs come to quickly recognize since agreeing to your⊠special relationship.
jake pulls back, his stare darker than moments before and you feel yourself falling into his brown eyes, pupils wide and staring at you as lust dances across his irises. âlast chance to back out, angel.â
you shake your head lightly before jake rises, packing both bags in a hurry, tugging you out of the library and heading to your apartment building. âyour apartment better be empty, or else wonyoung might get a free show.â
âoh my god, jake,â youâre barely able to keep up with him as he drags you along with him, nearly stumbling over your own feet to keep up. you enter your lobby, leading him to your first floor room and unlocking the door hastily. the moment heâs inside the foyer of your apartment, jake is shoving you up against the door, his lips finding yours instantly. âtrying to work me up in front of everyone, baby?â he purrs, one hand cupping your face gently while the other has a searing grip on your hips. every spot he touches burns, watching him with affection in your gaze. âtoo needy to wait until later, huh?â
you nod dumbly, covering the hand against your cheek with your own, nuzzling against it as you try to hide your growing shame at being so insatiable that you couldnât even be in public with him for more than thirty minutes before jumping his bones.
âoh, my pretty girlâs all shy now that weâre home? what happened to that brat attitude from before?â jake kisses the back of his teeth before placing a closed mouth kiss on your pouty lips. you hide from his gaze, embarrassed at your bratty behavior from before. ââm sorry, sir.â
jake nearly moans hearing you use the name he heard for the first time just days before in the bathroom when you sucked his soul out through his dick. he pulls you close in another passionate, messy kiss. âyeah? babyâs sorry?â you nod, watching him with wide, innocent eyes, not seeing the wheels turning in his head as he watches your tiny figure with glee.
jake walks you through the hallway, lips wandering and planting kisses on every bit of exposed skin on your upper half. you lead him to your door, twisting the handle quickly before stumbling inside. jake shuts the door with his foot as he backs you up onto your bed. âi think my baby deserves a punishment.â
jake presses further against your lips, his hands sliding up your frame to hold your tits gently, âcould play with these all day,â he mumbles, kneading them in his large hands. you kiss him back slowly, feeling the tension from the past few days dissipate the further he pulls you in, losing yourself in the feeling of his soft lips dancing against yours.
jake smiles as he gives each breast one final squeeze before pulling your sweatshirt over your head, âhad i known you were bare under here, babyâŠâ jake sucks harshly on your nipple, your back arching up against his mouth, begging for more.
âyouâre lucky i didnât bend you over that table,â he bites at your breast, leaving a teeth mark on the side of the plump flesh. âeveryone would learn fast who you belong to, wouldnât they?â
you nod, moaning out as he continues his onslaught against your nipple, sucking and biting with fervor, his cock standing tall and proud in his sweatpants.
âyou wore those on purpose,â you squeak out between loud moans.
âwhat? these?â jake motions to the gray sweatpants covering his strong legs, âdidnât know theyâd affect you so much, wouldâve worn them way sooner if i knew youâd pounce on me like the little slut you are.â he guides your hand to the crotch of his pants, allowing you to squeeze his length through the fabric of his sweats. more wetness gushes out of you at the feeling of the weight of his member, knowing all the damage he can do to you with it. âmy little slut, isnât that right?â you nod diligently, rubbing up and down on his length, trying to rile him up.
jake halts your actions, ânaughty whore, canât even be patient,â he scolds, leading your hand to dip under his waistband. you gasp at the feeling of him not wearing any boxers, allowing you to hold him in your hand, warmth spreading through your body as you jack him off lazily.
jake pulls his sweats down just below the base of his dick and it springs free, hard and ready for you. âfuckââ you groan, watching closely as your hand continues its diligent motions. âlove your cock, sir.â
âi know you do, baby,â jake pets your hair gently, âsuch a good little cock slut, always ready to take me,â he dips his other hand beneath the waistband of your sweats, pushing his hands through your folds. âalready this wet and iâve barely even touched you.â
âjust for you,â you groan as he dips one finger inside, pumping roughly, searching for that spongy spot inside of you. jake slips another finger inside, his movements quickening as he listens for the gorgeous noises he loves to hear spill from your lips.
âpull these down,â jake commands and you use your free hand to tug your pants and panties down and off your legs. jake can feel himself salivating at the sight of your gorgeous pussy, slipping a third finger inside next to the other two. he buries them knuckle deep before pulling out, repeating his actions over and over as he watches your facial expressions convey the pleasure heâs bringing you. âfuck, look at you, weak for me and iâm only using my fingers,â the commanding tone in his voice makes you shiver, eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze, dark and swimming with lust. âfuck, jakeââ you groan as you feel his fingers begin to reach deeper, your pussy nearly swallowing his hand to the knuckles each time.
âlook at how iâve stretched this tiny pussy out,â jake chuckles, his voice rumbling with need as he glances down at his cock where youâve halted your handjob, back arching off the bed. he removes his fingers promptly, causing you to whine loudly.
âsir, pleaseââ you plead, eyes brimming with tears, âwas so close! iâll be a good girl!â
jake watches you with amusement, the sight of you whimpering beneath him forcing his brain into overdrive, âgood girls do as theyâre told. keep jacking me off and if you stop again i wonât let you cum.â you nod at his words, resuming your actions, groaning as you pay extra attention to his leaky red tip, squeezing harder every time you reach the top.
jake dips three fingers back inside you, watching as you squeak out and start panting as he hits a particular spongy spot inside of you. jackpot.
he assaults this spot, other hand snaking down to rub mercilessly at your clit. jake groans as your grip on him becomes tighter as you near your high, âgonna make a mess on my fingers like the good girl you are?â
you nod quickly, mouth hanging slack with your tongue lolling out as you squeak at every jab against your g-spot. âfâ fâ uâ uckââ you scream out between thrusts, your pace on his dick speeding up as you approach the edge.Â
with one particularly tight yank of his dick and a swipe over his tip, jake cums hard, liquid spurting out onto your chest and some on your gaping hole. he stills his actions for a moment before coating fingers on both of his hands with his seed. you feel his cum inside you, tears flowing at the onslaught of varying sensations on you at once. his other hand returns to your clit, his lips coming to suck on it as he rubs roughly, while still fucking you with his long, slender fingers.
âahh!ââ you scream out, back arching off the bed as the coil inside you threatens to snap, âfuck! jakeââ a slap against your clit followed by a harsh suck of the hardened bud causes you to tumble past your precipice, all of your limbs stilling as jake never halts his actions. he pulls away from your clit to look down. the sight of you cumming, liquid spilling everywhere makes his cock jump, âfuuuuuck, baby,â he continues ramming his fingers inside of you with expert precision, âsuch a messy girl.â
his words bring a burning sensation to your cheeks, trying to scramble away from jake as he overstimulates you heavily, never ceasing his actions, âjake, pleaseââ
âyouâve got one more in you, baby,â jake tells you, âlet jake help you.â
jake removes his fingers before sliding home, his thick cock reaching impossibly deep inside you instantly, sucking him in with familiarity and a still present stretch from the sheer size of him. âfuck, your pussy is heaven sent, angel,â jakeâs need overtakes him, jackhammering inside of you harshly, your body jerking with each thrust inside of your already abused hole. he snakes a hand around, holding your asscheeks apart with both hands, lightly tracing a finger around the rim of your asshole. âahh!ââ you gasp at the intrusion, âjake!ââ
âthis belongs to me, too,â jake tells you, slowly pushing the pad of his finger past your puckered ring, âjake!â you scream, eyes rolling back at the feeling of being double stuffed, even with just a bit of his finger breaching your ass.
âi knew youâd be a slut for anal,â jake whispers as his pounding continues, finger slowly pushing further in through your backdoor, âiâll hit it from the back next time, how about that, my dirty girl?â
you shake your head, your bodyâs reaction saying the opposite as jake starts to pump his finger in and out of your tight hole in rhythm with the way his cock is pounding your pussy. âmoremoremore!â
âyeah baby? more?â jake shoves his finger further, picking up speed in both holes, nearly cumming seeing the bruise already forming on your plush breast from the searing bite he gave it earlier, the imprint of his teeth visible even from a distance. jake uses his free hand to squeeze your throat tightly, âgreedy little cock slut always needs more, canât just take what sheâs given.â
your vision starts to go white from the pressure on your windpipe combined with jakeâs dick hitting your spongy spot and his finger pumping knuckle deep into your ass, knowing heâs the only one whoâs ever been there. your eyes roll back into your head as you cum, the experience feeling different from any other time youâve orgasmed.
âyou trying to make me cum right now? squirting on me like that, baby?â more liquid continues to gush out of your hole, the wetness on jakeâs dick making him groan loudly. he pulls his finger from your ass when the liquid is done streaming from your weeping cunt, smacking your ass harshly and groping at your cheek. ânext time, iâm fucking this ass.â he gives you another rough smack, this time on the opposite side, before pulling out of you. âright now? iâm gonna fuck these tits.â jake crawls up your body sliding his dick between your plush mounds of flesh, squeezing them tight around his length. âlook at you, letting me use this fucking perfect body however i need,â jake groans, pinching your nipple with one of his hands as he pumps in and out, eyes trained on the way your tits nearly completely cover his length. he chases his high, knowing youâre not anticipating his next actions, your eyes fighting to stay open as he uses you as he pleases.
âfuck, youâre perfect,â jake whispers, teetering on the edge of cumming before he slides away from your tits, shoving his length back into your gaping pussy. a few pumps is all it takes before heâs spilling inside of you, cum hitting your walls in long spurts and filling your pussy, dripping out of you and landing on the sheets beneath you. jake fucks you through his orgasm, pushing two fingers into your mouth before rubbing your abused clit with precision.
âno!â no more, jake!ââ you try to push him away, overstimulation tingling around your body after two mind blowing orgasms have already rendered you utterly exhausted.
âyour bodyâs telling me otherwise,â jake smirks, feeling your pussy tighten around him with every pump of his cock and flick of your hardened nub, âgonna give you one more, angel. you can do it.â
you argue against him, the little whimpers leaving your mouth betraying your actions. you scream loudly as the wave of pleasure washes over you, and still jake fucks you through it, his movements never ceasing. you still as it wrecks through you, orgasm finally subsiding as jake pulls out of you slowly, hands running up the sides of your body gently, holding you like youâll break if he presses too hard. he traces the curves of your body with admiration, wondering how he got so fucking lucky to have you beneath him.
âlook at my pretty girl.â he smiles as he watches you return to the land of the living, your mind spinning after three orgasms. jake leans over your body, placing gentle kisses all over your face and neck, littering your body with affection. âdid so good for me, angel. such a good girl.â you smile as his words register in your ears, the ringing in them finally leaving as your body returns to its natural state of relaxation.
âno more, please,â you beg.
jake nods, offering you a smile, one that neither of you realize has hidden feelings brewing behind it. âno more, promise. my baby did so good.â he stands on the side of the bed, picking you up and leading you to the bathroom. jake sits you on the counter and starts running water, testing the temperature for you before corking the tub and watching it fill with perfectly hot water.
âmmmâ jakey,â you mumble.
he turns to you, standing between your legs, rubbing circles on your kneecaps as he watches your drooping eyes try to focus on his face. âstill with me, angel?â you nod lightly as he places a kiss on your forehead. âgood, gonna get you all cleaned up and then weâll get some sleep, okay?â you nod again.
jake sits there for a moment, memorizing the lines of your face and the feeling of your soft skin beneath his fingertips. he turns and stops the water from running. âcome here, beautiful,â jake lifts you up again and places you into the tub. you sit there, mind still fuzzy, watching the ceiling lights reflect against the surface of the water. jake tugs his shirt off before sliding in behind you, letting your back rest against his chest.
jake grabs your body wash, lathering it between his hands before he gently spreads the bubbles across your body, diligently scrubbing your tired body clean.
âthank you,â you mumble, leaning the crown of your head back against his chest to look up at him, âof course, angel.â he kisses your forehead and you smile at the action, feeling him rinsing the soap from your skin before your eyes flutter shut for a moment.
the sight of you falling asleep against jake gives him a warm feeling in his stomach.
he washes up quickly, trying to not disturb your sleeping form. jake uncorks the bath and stands, reaching for the nearby towel before helping you to your feet. he dries himself quickly after realizing thereâs only one towel, and then heâs wrapping you in it and guiding you to step out of the tub, your eyes still conveying how tired you are. jake tugs on his sweats before stepping back into your bedroom, digging through your drawers for clean clothes. he finds a suitable sleep set and a clean pair of panties before returning to your exhausted form standing still in the bathroom, leaning against the countertop.
âalright pretty,â he guides your legs to step into your panties, pulling them up your legs slowly before following them with a pair of shorts, âdid so good for me, baby.â he reassures your tired mind, placing a gentle kiss on your hip after pulling the shorts up to rest on your waist.
jake finishes drying off your top half before tugging the shirt he picked out over your frame, helping you get your arms into the holes. once youâre fully dressed, he watches you with an unknown emotion stirring deep inside his body. ânap time,â he offers you a smile before leading you back to your bed, making note to wash your cum covered sheets later once the two of you wake up again. he lays you down on top of your comforter to keep a barrier between the stained sheets and your freshly washed body, crossing the room to grab a throw blanket and placing it on top of you. jake sneaks in behind you, wrapping his arms around your center and resting his head on your shoulder, breathing in your fresh scent, a smell that brings a sense of peace to his otherwise busy mind.
âget some sleep,â jake kisses your cheek then your shoulder before returning his head to the place it feels most comfortable.
âgoodnight, angel.â
you slide through the front door of the frat house the next day, watching as yet another party unfolds before your eyes. you glance around, looking for heeseung or jay, or even sunghoon, knowing jake would reveal himself later in the evening when he got tired of watching you walk around in the tiniest skirt known to man, one you wore purposely just to rile him up.
you pass by a few aquaintances as you continue your search, greeting them kindly, stopping for small talk. the hallways reveal none of the men youâre looking for as you glance down the endless expanse of random doors that line the walls. you stand at the bottom of the stairs, about to head up before you see two people nearly fucking on the top of the steps, causing you to turn around and head back towards the living room.
you walk out into the backyard, finding sunghoon talking with someone near the side of the house, beginning to approach them before you stop. their hushed voices reach your ears as a distinct accent hits you.
âthereâs no way you donât like her, man, iâve seen the way you look at her.â
âsunghoon,â jake warns, âi donât like y/n, bro. she means nothing to me, seriously. drop it.â
you feel your heart shatter beneath your ribcage, pieces scattering out and stabbing themselves into your organs as you step back into the house, bumping into someone who catches you before you can tumble to the ground.
ây/n, you okay?â heeseung asks as he watches you, searching your face.
âiâ iâm fine heeseung,â you try to wrestle from his hold, âplease let me go,â you whimper, tears sliding down your cheeks pathetically, trying to hide your embarrassed face from the tall man.
heeseung drags you into the kitchen, thankfully empty of jayâs usual presence, and he lifts you to sit you down on the counter, the cold surface against your bare legs grounding you the slightest bit. âwhatâs wrong? do i need to call wonyoung?â
you shake your head, burying your face in your hands, sobs racking your entire body. âiâm so stupid,â you explain between tears, âi shouldnât have been eavesdropping, i really didnât mean to, but i heard jake talking about me with sunghoon and iââ you whimper audibly, wiping your eyes with your forearm as you look up at heeseung, who is watching you closely. âi like him so much, heeseung, i have for so long, and he said i didnât even mean anything to him, and now i feel so fucking embarrassed!â you ramble, your mind feeling fuzzy as you try to fight the tears continuing to tumble down your cheeks, âever since jayâs birthday party heâs been treating me different, and sometimes i guess i had tricked myself into thinking he might like me back⊠heâ he says the sweetest things whenever we have sex, and treats me so gentle after and calls me all these nicknames⊠i guess he just says that shit to every girl he manages to get in his bed,â your crying has slowed, anger beginning to mix with sadness as your emotions shift slightly.
âi canât believe i actually went along with his dumb idea,â you scold yourself, âiâm seriously so stupid.â
you canât believe you wanted so desperately for jake to return your feelings that you let him use you, believing that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way you did. and he shoved your hope right back in your face just to taunt you with it.
god, this is useless.
youâre useless, your brain reminds you.
maybe jake had a point in using you for his own pleasure. he has never once shown you any romantic interest before you agreed to a change in your relationship dynamic, so why would anything change suddenly at the drop of a hat?
why would you think youâd ever be enough for him?
you shake your head, eyes brimming with more tears at the memory of allowing him to use you without question, wondering if you even meant anything at all to jake, sexually or otherwise. how had your crush gotten so bad that youâd let a man devour you and rip you apart just to leave you to pick up the pieces yourself? the sim jaeyun you found yourself crushing on was leagues different than the man you just overheard, and you felt your stomach sink at the thought of the boy you once knew becoming barely recognizable.
ây/n,â heeseungâs voice brings you out of the fog, ây/n, itâs okay, youâre not stupid.â he wraps you in a tight hug, the tears returning as you soak the shoulder of his shirt. âjakeâs stupid if he doesnât realize what a catch you are, pretty.â he rubs your back gently.
âeverything okay in here?â
ânot now,â heeseung attempts to shoo jake away, to which the australian boy stands still, watching with confusion. âjake, seriously, go away.â
heeseung stumbles as jake shoves him lightly, âwhat the fuck did you do, man!â
âwhat you should be asking is what the fuck did you do, jake,â heeseung glares at him, watching his best friend nearly fuck up everything he doesnât know heâs been longing for this whole time.
jake lets heeseungâs words slip past him, turning to you, eyes lined with concern, âyou okay?â
you watch jake, tears still slowly sliding down your red cheeks, shaking your head, âleave me alone, sim.â the venom in your tone tears at his heart, watery gaze watching him with hatred brewing in his heart, âdonât pretend like you care about me.â
âiââ
âjake, leave before something worse happens,â heeseung advises him, holding back the words he actually wants to say to his helplessly blind and stupid best friend. jake obeys, walking slowly out of the kitchen with one last glance at you, the sight of you crying into heeseungâs hold nearly breaking him in two.
oh fuck.
the tidal wave of emotions hits jake all at once, feelings heâs unknowingly denied since you first met all those years ago beginning to settle into his gaze, watching you with hurt at the way you pushed him away with your words.
heeseung pulls jay into the kitchen as heâs walking by, instructing him to take care of you. heeseung approaches jake, who is standing right outside the kitchen and tugs him further into the house, away from you and your sad eyes. âjake, what the fuck dude!â
âi didnât do anything!â he fights back.
âwhy the hell would you say that shit about her to hoon!â
realization dawns on him, bringing jake to rub a tired hand against his face, âgod, she heard me, didnât she?â jake asks sheepishly, to which heeseung hits him in the shoulder, saying âyes, you idiot!â
âfuckâŠâ jake sighs deeply, looking up at heeseung, âi really fucked up, didnât i?â
âyes, dummy!â
jake pinches the bridge of his nose, biting his lower lip out of frustration, âif i was her iâd hate me right now.â
âdid you actually mean all that shit you said?â
âiâ i didnât really think much about what we were doing, but hoon was grilling me and saying all this shit like he always does and i just wanted him to shut the hell up, he was overwhelming me with all his stupid questions,â jake shakes his head, frustration brewing in his stomach.
âyou like her, donât you?â jake doesnât meet heeseungâs eyes, only nodding and sighing deeply, âi didnât think i did, but seeing her push me away like that made me so sad, dude. i donât want her to hate meâŠâ
âsometimes youâre stupid, jake,â heeseung places his hands on his shoulders, âjust go, man. sleep it off and give her some space. you broke her damn heart, dude.â
you wake up in an unfamiliar bed, glancing around before realizing youâre still in the frat house. âgood morning, sunshine,â sunghoon smiles at you as he exits the bathroom, âabout time you woke up.â
âsunghoon⊠what the hell happened last night?â your mind is running a mile a minute, praying you didnât sleep with jakeâs best friend.
âthere was no funny business, donât worry your pretty little head about that,â he reassures you, âheeseung brought you here after you nearly cried yourself into a coma in the kitchen.â
you rub at your eyes, sighing loudly as the nightâs events wash over you suddenly. âjakeâs not here, is he?â
sunghoon shakes his head, âno, heâs not here, so donât freak out.â
you sigh loudly, âare jay and heeseung here?â sunghoon nods in response, âyeah, jayâs probably cooking something up for you right now.â
âmorning, sleeping beauty,â jay greets you as you stumble into the kitchen, the clothes against your skin meant for a much larger frame as you nearly trip over the extra fabric hanging off the bottom of your sweatpants, the legs too long for your shorter body. these must be heeseungâsâŠ
âhi,â you return the greeting, sliding up to sit at a barstool at the island. âis⊠are you guys okay?â
âus?â jay questions, glancing back at you from his spot at the stove where heâs frying two eggs for you, âi should be asking how you are, y/n.â
âiâ i donât know, honestly. my head really hurts.â jay nods his head towards the end of the island, âheeseung left some ibuprofen out for you.â
you take it, mentally noting to thank him later. âhow are you feeling about⊠everything you heard?â jay questions, trying to choose his words carefully.
âiâ he really hurt me, jay.â jay can hear the sniffle in your voice, mentally cursing out his best friend for being so damn blind to his own feelings this whole time. âi donât⊠i donât think iâm gonna go to class today. i canât face him right now.â your voice is small, your spirit broken from what you overheard last night, knowing all of this, all of you, everything the two of you experienced together and made each other feel, truly meant nothing to him.
âeat up,â jay presents your plate to you. âhowâd you know how i like my eggs?â
jay shrugs, grinning, âlucky guess,â he lies easily, knowing now wouldnât be the right time to tell you that jake gave all six of his close friends a rundown on your favorite and most hated foods after getting plastered one night a few weeks ago.
heeseung ends up driving you back to your apartment, despite protests that itâs close enough to walk. he drops you off, making you promise to eat lunch at the least.
you spend the day lying in bed, alternating between crying until you can feel your chest heaving and a dryness in your eyes from having already cried all the liquid out of your body, to taking intermittent naps, snuggling under your blanket, grasping it tightly for any semblance of stability.
of all the people he chose to hurt, it had to be you. you, the person who has been with him through many stages of life, competing closely with him and hiding your feelings from the first day that you met. the doe eyed boy you met all those years ago felt like a distant memory from the man who decided to control your life and mind, using you for his own gain and tossing you aside when he felt it was fitting.
oh the things youâd do to forget you ever met sim jaeyun.
the next day you drag yourself out of bed, attempting to at least look presentable before stumbling into class, walking to the back and sitting next to riki, not daring to even glance in jakeâs direction. riki greets you with a slight nod of his head and you offer him a small smile, the most genuine one you can muster up, for him not forcing you to speak. you know your voice will betray you, and the minute you start speaking youâll cry instantly.
jake canât stop looking back at you, his heart breaking every time he sees the frown etched into your features, brows tugged down and lips curling into the opposite of what he wants to see. he tries to catch your gaze, but you avoid him completely, âcan he stop looking back here,â you mumble, pulling a small chuckle from rikiâs lips. âdonât pay him any mind, y/n.â
the class goes by agonizingly slow, each pointed glance in your direction from jake tearing the pieces of your heart further apart. you ignore him time after time until the professor dismisses you, and you turn to riki with pleading eyes. âcan i⊠can i walk out with you?â
âof course,â rikiâs kindness makes your gloomy day a little bit brighter as he gathers his things and leads you out of the classroom, using the door furthest from jake. jake watches you leave, sighing deeply, hoping you wonât avoid him forever.
you walk into your next class with jake a minute late, glancing around to see all the seats taken besides your usual one beside the man youâd like to see the least right now. you set your things down gently and take your seat, watching the professor as they drone on about the lesson. you will your brain to focus on the lecture, but the presence beside you is causing a thumping in your skull and a buzz in your bones. jake keeps stealing glances at your profile, watching and holding himself back from reaching out to touch you gently, to calm the leg that youâre shaking beneath your desk.
you spend the period zoning out, not even caring when the teacher hands out the tests from last week, a high score sitting atop your worksheet. jake watches as you pick the paper up, seeing that heâs lost to you again. the realization doesnât bring him anger or a competitive drive today, no, it brings him an immense feeling of being lost. jake thinks heâs lost apart of himself when you started ignoring him, and he knows itâs his own fault, vowing to heeseung that heâd fix what he broke between the two of you
you leave the classroom as quickly as humanly possible, hoping to escape without jake catching you. ây/n, please, can we talk?â he questions after catching your wrist in his grasp in the hallway.
you shake your head, watching him with a teary gaze, unable to even squeak out all the things you want to say to him. you want to curse him for ever making you fall for him completely. you urge to reach out and pound your fists against his chest, knowing heâs not hurting the way you are. you want to cry in front of him, making him watch to see how heâs broken you down to the lowest version of yourself. but you donât want to give him the satisfaction of any of these reactions, knowing heâd love to see you suffering because of him, knowing he played you just the exact way he planned to.
you yank your hand away from his grip, the skin burning after you rip it from his grasp. you leave as fast as your exhausted, beat down body can carry you, opting to skip the rest of the dayâs obligations.
ây/n, here,â wonyoung perches herself on the side of your bed, âi brought you some ramen, heeseung dropped it off for you, said itâs his favorite brand.â heeseung had omitted the fact that this brand is actually jakeâs favorite and not his, the sneaky bastard. she smiles as she presents the bowl to you, with some fresh toppings she obviously adding sitting atop the broth and noodle mixture.
âthanks, wony,â you take a bite, groaning at the taste, âthis is so good.â
âgood,â she watches you eat with worried eyes, âhow are you feeling?â
you swallow your bite before looking up at her, âa little better, i guess.â
wonyoung offers you a weak smile, knowing itâs killing her inside to see you going through this situation with jake. âare you going to your next class?â she questions, hoping youâll say yes, knowing your grades will start to be affected if you keep skipping the way you have the past few days. she also knows all too well that no man is worth jeopardizing your future over, no matter how long youâve liked him.
you nod, slurping up the bowlâs contents with speed, âyeah, my professor emailed and asked if i was okay, and i donât want to worry her any further.â
wonyoung nods in approval at your response, âgood. just ignore him the whole time, okay?â to which you nod, gulping down the rest of your broth.
you approach your next class feeling a bit better after eating the meal wonyoung so generously made for you, even if ramen is quick and easy to make, she really didnât have to care for you the way she did time and time again.
you feel a tug on your arm as someone tugs you in the opposite direction of the place you were heading to, pulling the both of you inside an empty classroom and blocking the exit.
you look up to see jake watching you, his eyes less bright than they usually appear to be, the spark you see whenever heâs hellbent on beating you seemingly absent from his gaze.
âplease donât,â you beg him, not wanting to hear him gloat or whatever the hell heâs planning to do here.
ây/n, please,â jake begs, eyes searching your face for some kind of reassurance that you wouldnât leave, âplease, i need to apologize.â
âyou donât have anything to apologize for,â you lie straight through your teeth, âso can i please just leave?â
jakeâs pleading voice is slowly breaking down your resolve, âplease, can i at least explain?â when you donât answer, he takes the opportunity to start laying his feelings out on the table.
âwhatever you heard me say, i know it sounded horrible, but i didnât mean it.â
âoh, so you didnât mean that i meant nothing to you?â he winces at the words that you throw back in his face, knowing that was one of the worst things he couldâve said.
âno, i didnât mean it,â jake tells you, gaze piercing yours, âiâ i was stupid, y/n, you have to believe me. i only said that to get sunghoon to back off, of course i care about you. iâve spent how many years by your side? and you think i would actually hate you?â
the words ring in your ears, making your head hurt as you continue to listen to him. âiâm so sorry, y/n, i really am. sunghoon wouldnât leave me alone and i just wanted him to shut up for once.â jake rubs his hands over his face, breathing a deep sigh against his palms before shoving them back into his jacket pockets, gaze meeting yours again. âwhen we started messing around⊠i didnât know how i felt⊠i thought it was just fun. but every time i saw you i felt weird, and i didnât know what it meant, i figured it was normal because weâve been rivals for so long and iâve always felt this drive to be better than you. but it started feeling different⊠i started to just want to be around you all the time, whether we were fucking or not, and i kept denying it to everyone who would ask me.â
jakeâs mind flashes back to the countless times sunghoon has harassed him, asking when heâs going to confess to you. âi donât know when i realized it, but i like you, y/n. i guess i have this whole time, and iâm so sorry i made you think that i didnât.â he resists the urge to reach out and hold your hand in his, knowing the physical touch would likely only bring him comfort, versus the intent being to ground you as well. âi⊠i really fucked up, i shouldnât have asked you to be in a friends with benefits relationship, i shouldâve known thatâs not what you wanted. iâm sorry if you ever felt like i was using you, i⊠iâm sorry i didnât realize my feelings sooner.â
jakeâs speech knocks the wind out of you as you stare at him blankly, tears brewing in your eyes, âjake, iââ you mumble, mind swimming at his admission. âthank you for apologizing, iâ i think i need some time, if thatâs okay.â he nods quickly in response, the action warming you up inside.
âtake all the time you need. what i just said is a lot, and itâs okay if you donât forgive me. i just needed to tell you before i lost you forever.â
âiâ iâll talk to you later okay?â jake nods, moving out of the way of the door, watching you walk away. anxiety brews in his gut as he hopes with his entire being that youâll forgive him, even though deep down he wonders if he even deserves an ounce of forgiveness.
jake concludes that he doesnât deserve your forgiveness, that heâs royally fucked up and heâs determined to fix what heâs broken between the two of you.
you let your emotions brew for a few days, jake choosing to give you space during class and every other time you find yourself near him. relief washes over you every time you see him and he doesnât rush to your side, knowing the simple action would just further complicate the already confusing thoughts in your mind.
youâre still obviously hurt by what he said, jakeâs words creating a hole in your heart feeling like you wasted so much time loving someone and hoping to be loved back, even agreeing to a relationship you knew you couldnât handle without your emotions getting in the way somehow.
the sincerity of his apology and the fear in his eyes when he explained everything to you still remains in your mind, all the positive memories you have with jake sitting in the forefront of your consciousness. you are itching to forgive him, but the fear of him breaking your heart again rings through your mind with every passing thought.
youâve made a decision in your head, praying itâs the right one, not wanting to get burned again.
âcan i talk to you?â
jake nods his head, bidding his friend goodbye as he follows you through campus. you stop at a bench near the fountain by the engineering building, watching as the water spouts up in a gorgeous display, zoning out for a minute. jake waits patiently for you to speak as he takes a seat next to you.
âjake,â you turn to look at him, âi⊠i accept your apology.â jakeâs eyes light up at your admission, âi know feelings are complicated, mine certainly are right now, i justâ did you know the whole time how much i liked you?â
jake shakes his head, âno, y/n, i wouldnât put you through that on purpose, i promise.â
you nod in response, watching your hands that are clasped together in your lap for a moment before looking back up at him. âiâ do you really like me? you promise youâre not lying?â
jake nods, reaching out to take your hand in his, giving it a small squeeze, âno lies, i promise.â
âwhat⊠where do we go from here?â
jake thinks for a moment, not prepared for the question, before sucking in a breath and asking, âhow about i take you out on a real date?â
he catches you off guard with his question, âyeah?â he nods, âyeah, pretty. i meant everything i said, i donât want you to slip away when you mean so much to me⊠it just took me an embarrassingly long time to realize how absolutely infatuated with you i am.â
his last sentence makes you embarrassed and you attempt to hide your burning cheeks, knowing your ears are betraying you with the tips turning red. âokay, sim, you can take me on a date.â jakeâs eyes sparkle at your agreement, relief crashing over his body in an overwhelming display. you smile at the way his eyes shine as he watches you, feeling contentment settle into your heart, as if heâs putting the broken pieces back together slowly, fixing what he accidentally broke inside you.
âjake, where are you taking me?â you question, brow quirked as the man youâve wanted for so long stands before you, leaning against his sleek red car. the sight of him waiting so casually, eyes trained off at something in the distance, makes your heart flutter.
âhi, beautiful,â jake greets you, grabbing your hand and raising it above your head, guiding you to do a spin for him as he appreciates your outfit. âyou look gorgeous, angel.â
âyou donât look so bad yourself, handsome.â you smile at jake as he leads you to the passenger side, opening the door for you and helping you inside. he steps over and takes his seat on the driverâs side, the engine revving to life with the press of a button. âwhere are we heading?"
jake uses his left hand to steer, the right resting on the gear shift as he takes the two of you off campus, being extra careful as his car now has precious cargo inside. âitâs a surprise,â the midday sun beams down on the two of you as he turns into a neighborhood. you watch his face, appreciating every feature that youâve admired for years, heart swelling at the thought of the man in front of you reciprocating your feelings.
jake shifts the car into park after a short drive and you look around, taking in the surrounding area. a playground sits in front of you, a small forest sitting a ways behind it, tall trees towering over everything nearby. the sun still cascades through the leaves as jake opens your door, shutting it behind you as you step onto the asphalt of the parking lot surrounding you. he opens his small trunk, pulling a basket out and a small pink and white checkered blanket. you feel a buzz beneath your skin as your eyes sparkle, realizing jake has packed the two of you a picnic lunch for your first date.
jake leads you over to a small patch of grass behind the playground set, the spot having the greenest grass. you wonder if he picked this spot special for the two of you, the possibility of it making your heart soar. he lays the blanket down, flattening it out so no wrinkles are in sight before placing the basket on top and helping you sit down.
âdonât go thinking iâm some master chef now, okay? i had jay help meâŠâ jake says, wanting to hide his face in embarrassment as he pokes fun at himself. you watch as he pulls a variety of dishes out, âbut i made some stuff by myself, too!â
this feels strange, but seeing the usually confident and argumentative man you have fought against academically for all these years seemingly doubting himself? it is definitely a different sensation than the ones youâre used to. but the sight made your insides feel fuzzy, butterflies sprouting in your tummy, watching in real time as you feel yourself falling for him even more. âjake, this is lovely,â you place a hand on his arm, his movements halting in response as you reassure him, giving him a light squeeze. âyouâre lovely. iâm flattered you did all of this for me.â
âi wanted you to see that iâm serious about this, about us.â
jake takes the plates and bowls out, handing you one, before setting the silverware down in the middle of the blanket. âhere, we made some of my favorites and some foods i remember you mentioning over the years⊠i hope you still like them,â you can hear how nervous he is, âjake, seriously, stop freaking out. itâs just me,â you tell him as he opens one of the glass dishes revealing a bowl of homemade kimchi stew, a dish you know jake has loved for a long time.
âthat doesnât help me,â jake laughs a little at his own embarrassment and nerves, âthatâs the whole reason why iâm so nervous⊠youâre you, and this is my one chance to show you how much i care about you.â
you watch as he opens the next dish, a box of chocolate covered strawberries, âjake,â you glance up, meeting his eyes as you nearly cry at the worried look in them, âi donât remember the last time i even had these⊠thank you.â
âi remember you mentioned them sometime in sophomore year,â jake replies sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck nervously. âholy shit, that makes me sound like such a creep.â
you shake your head, watching jake, âstop it, jake, seriously. i think itâs adorable that you remembered that from so long ago. itâs not weird or creepy!â
jake sees the sincerity in your gaze, letting out a breath of relief, âi⊠i really like you, seriously, i donât want to mess up my one chance.â
you grab the sides of jakeâs face and gently pull him towards you, capturing his lips in your own, hoping to wash away some of his worries with the action. you feel lighter as you kiss him, his plush, delicate lips feeling like heaven against your own. you missed kissing him, and kissing him now feels so⊠different. refreshingly so, knowing that the man youâre holding in your arms reciprocates your own feelings that youâve pushed down and hid from the world for so long.
you pull away after a moment, resting your head against his, âyou havenât messed anything up, jake, okay?â
jake stares into your eyes, his emotions bubbling and growing beneath the surface, watching as he falls more in love with you the longer he watches your gorgeous irises stare back at him, ones that he wouldnât mind getting lost in. âokay, y/n.â you seal your promise with another kiss, feeling him smile against your lips this time, knowing the man youâre sitting across from is the same one you fell for all those years ago. caring, kind, extremely driven, gorgeous, and above all, captivating in every way, his drive and need to succeed always pushing yourself to be the best version of yourself. and you know his drive to be the best has extended here, going above and beyond to impress you with a sentimental date, the concept of which makes you feel mushy inside.
time passes quickly, conversation and good food flowing between the two of you, giggles and stories being shared, feeling yourself fall further for him the longer you spent by his side. when the sky starts to darken with clouds and the threat of rain, you and jake pack quickly, rushing to the car when raindrops start to fall on your heads. jake drives you both back to campus, the ambience of the water falling on the hood of the car along with the low lull of the radio causing you to fall asleep. jake pulls into his usual parking spot outside his apartment building, picking you up in his arms and setting the picnic basket on your stomach, carrying you to his home, a small studio apartment on the second floor. after somehow unlocking the door without dropping you or waking you up, he sets the picnic basket on the counter before placing you in his bed, tucking you in under his freshly washed blanket. jake busies himself with putting leftovers away as you sleep before coming to join you, sneaking under the covers and spooning you.
jake places a small kiss against the back of your head, watching as your stomach rises and falls peacefully with each quiet breath you take. âsleep well, angel.â
âi havenât told the guys yet,â jakeâs statement shocks you as the two of you walk into the frat hand in hand, a bustling party happening around you. you couldnât believe after three successful dates and jake asking you to be his girlfriend, that he has kept that from his friends for all that time. âi wanted to tell them together, so they couldnât bully me.â he jokes, leading you through the house, looking for his three best friends.
you find the three of them standing at the end of a hallway, near the room where you and jake first hooked up. you blush at the sight, glancing up at your boyfriend who gives you a quick wink. âwhatâs happening in your pretty little head, angel?â
ânothing,â you smack his arm, attempting to push him forwards to meet his friends, âletâs go talk to them before you or i do something crazy.â
âcrazy doesnât necessarily mean bad, though,â jake teases you before relenting, walking towards his friends who all smile at the sight of the two of you.
âi told you so,â heeseung grins the widest of all before jay and sunghoonâs faces drop suddenly, âpay up, jayhoon.â
âstop fucking calling us that,â sunghoon shoves his friendâs shoulder before fishing a $50 bill out of his wallet, jay doing the same but with a $100. âjay you should just be my sugar daddy at this point,â heeseung smirks as he tucks the bills into the inside pocket of his jacket.
sunghoon scoffs at heeseungâs words, shoving his wallet back into his pocket. âheejay will never be a thing, so keep dreaming.â jay teases before looking at you and jake again, watching as you lean your head against his arm as you continue to hold his hand. âglad you came to your senses, jakey boy⊠i told you itâd work out, didnât i, y/n?â
âyou didnât say anything remotely close to those words, jay,â you argue, to which he shrugs, âwell, i was going to but then you started hitting me.â
âyou were playing twenty questions with me while i was in a crisis!â
âweâre actually⊠i asked y/n to be my girlfriend last week,â jake scratches the back of his head, âso expect to see her around a lot more.â
âha!â sunghoon smacks heeseungâs shoulder, âpay up!â he sticks his hands out to the other two men, who promptly give him $20 each.
you watch as the money is exchanged, âhow much betting on us did you guys do?â
heeseung smirks at the two of you, âa lot. itâs been happening for longer than either of you will ever know.â
ânobody expected jake to actually man up and ask you to be his girlfriend officially this soon except hoon,â jake smacks heeseung and jay at this admission as you realize the trio has known of your semi secret dating the entire time, âwhat the hell, guys!â
âdoesnât matter, because it all worked out, didnât it, lovebirds?â heeseung watches you two with a pleased look on his face, âand i knew it would happen, it just took a little while for jake to get his head out of his ass.â
âbe nice,â you scold heeseung, âhe didnât know, donât be mean, heeseung.â
heeseung relents, raising his hands in a defensive manner, âfine, fine.â
the five of you fall into a comfortable conversation, with jay cracking jokes and sunghoon laughing at all of them, heeseung watching them both with amusement in his gaze.
âcan we go home? iâm kinda tiredâŠâ you ask jake after a while of conversing and enjoying yourself with the four men, staring up at him with two wide eyes that he realizes heâs never been able to say no to, and today will not be the day that he starts. little does he know the ulterior motive brewing in your stomach, wetness growing between your legs since you passed by the room where the two of you first slept together. âsure, pretty. letâs go.â the two of you bid your goodbyes to the trio, watching as they bicker about their betting habits as you head out.
the two of you drive back to jakeâs apartment, which will soon be yours since your lease with wonyoung is coming up, and your soon to be former roommate and still current best friend has decided to take a semester abroad, getting into her dream program that sheâs been talking about since the summer.
âare you really tired, baby?â a mischievous smile overtakes your features as you shake your head, leading jake to the bed and pushing him to sit on the edge of it. âoh, i seeâŠâ jake smiles, hands covering the expanse of your hips as you straddle to sit on his lap.
âwant you to make love to me, jakey,â you plead, grinding your core down onto him.
âgod, angelââ jake groans at the feeling of you pressing yourself against him, âfuck, you drive me crazy,â he pushes you down further onto his clothed member as you continue your motions, needing to feel more friction. âif i werenât so hard right now iâd make you ride my thigh forever.â
you groan at his admission, movements faltering and he takes your moment of distraction to pick you up, placing you against the pillows. he pulls back for a moment, tugging his shirt over his head and you gawk at the sight of his toned stomach, only ever seeing it in glimpses during your previous escapades.
âmmm, i could just eat you up,â you tell him, running your fingernails up and down gently along his abs, âcanât believe youâve hidden this under your shirts all this timeâŠâ
âyou were itching to get a peek all these years, werenât you, baby?â jake teases as he takes your shirt off next, tugging your bra off after and pinching a nipple between his fingers. you groan, back arching up as he sucks on the opposite one harshly. âjâ jakeââ you groan, hands threading into his hair and pulling lightly. he groans against your skin, loving the feeling of the pain rushing through his scalp. âoooh, you like that, pretty boy?â jake moans as you pull his mouth away from your nipple, eyes fluttering shut at the sting traveling through his scalp as you tug at his locks again.
âstop,â jake begs, âanother time, baby, let me take care of you tonight.â he sighs in relief as you release your hold on his hair. âalright, sim, youâre free to go this time⊠but iâll be saving that for later, baby boy.â
âgod, youâre such a menace,â jake groans as his mind returns from the subspace he was slowly slipping into, sliding down the bed until heâs eye level with your core, seeing the wetness nearly escaping from your thin panties. he tugs your skirt off unceremoniously, âbeen wanting to eat you since the first night i had you, pretty,â jake bites at your panties and yanks them down with his teeth, the sight making you whimper at the pure sex appeal oozing from the man beneath you. jake leans in and dips his tongue between your folds. âfuck, knew youâd taste so sweet, angel.â
jake eats you out like a man starved, slobbering into your folds, pushing his tongue into your pussy, flicking his tongue inside of you. you moan loudly, hands gripping the sheets on the bed, a nearly pornographic sound escaping your lips as jake sucks harshly on your clit, stars appearing behind your eyelids.
âfuck, jakeââ you glance down to see the man of your dreams perched between your legs, whimpering at the sight of him biting your inner thighs and gripping your legs tightly, holding them wide open for him to have full access. âyou close, angel?â he smiles up at you, the vision of him with your wetness coating his mouth and chin pulling another noise from your parted lips. you nod quickly, âplease, jake,â you plead, a request he responds to by continuing his assault on your already abused and leaking pussy, his tongueâs movements pulling a well deserved orgasm from your body, watching as your back arches up, pushing your core further into his mouth.
âjake!â you whine, fluid still gushing out, eyes squeezed shut as the pleasure continues to pass over you in overwhelming waves. ââs too much!â
âoh no itâs not, my sweet angel girl can take it,â jake argues before biting your clit.
âahh!ââ you scream, the sound bringing a smile to jakeâs face, continuing to push you to overstimulation with his wet muscleâs motions against your pussy.
jake finally relents after youâre nearly in tears from the overwhelming sensations heâs putting your body through, bringing his face up to be level with yours, his clothed member pressing against your still dripping pussy, âyouâre so pretty when you cry, baby.â he whispers with sincerity, capturing your lips in a quick, searing kiss before pulling away again to whisper, âi only ever want to see you cry because iâm making you feel good, okay?â
âokay, jake,â you whisper in response, smile tugging at the corner of your lips at your boyfriendâs insistence on treating you right until the end of time.
âno more crying unless itâs on my cock,â jake smirks, the words making you clench at your pure attraction and adoration for the man in front of you.
watching jake tug his pants down his legs makes you groan, staring down at the huge bulge pressing against his thin boxers. âstop teasing, jake,â you whine.
âbaby canât wait any longer?â you shake your head, watching as jake pulls his boxers off, the blushing, leaking tip of his cock making your mouth water. âahh, what an eager girl. if you werenât dripping onto my sheets right now iâd make you suck my cock. but iâll be nice and give my baby what she needs.â jake rambles on as you can do nothing but stare at his length, drooling at the sight of it, knowing the stretch it gives you is always delicious, never fully adjusting to his generous size even after all the times youâve been together.
jake breaches your entrance, letting just the tip sit inside your hole. you wiggle, trying to force him further inside, âpatience, baby,â he scolds and you whimper at his strict tone coming out. âdonât want me to punish you, do you?â you shake your head. you know you could take a punishment, but right now you just want jake to hold you close as he makes love to you.
jake slowly slides in further, watching with hungry eyes as your hole takes him easily, âfuck, baby, iâm gonna keep you stuffed, my sexy ass girlfriend deserves to be filled up all hours of the day,â he babbles as he buries himself to the hilt, the snug fit of your walls filling his brain with even more delicious, dirty thoughts.
âmmâ feel so full,â you mutter, watching jakeâs face with adoration and love in your eyes, âthank you, jakey,â you whimper as he slides nearly all the way out, allowing just the tip to stay inside before pushing back in slowly, groaning at the feeling of your gummy walls sucking him right back in without protest, âgod, this tiny pussy was made just for my cock.â you nod in response, seeing jake watching your face now before heâs wrapping his arms around your shoulders, pressing himself as close to you as he possibly can as he presses his face into your neck, sucking and biting at the junction between your throat and shoulder. jake tries desperately to leave marks, wanting to see them on your gorgeous skin when he wakes up next to you the following morning; little does he know youâll wake him up with his cock in your mouth, mumbling around the dick that pushes an ache to your jaw about how you just wanted to help as you saw him sleeping with a tent in his boxers.
âneed you closer,â you plead as jake rocks slowly in and out of you, love penetrating each thrust as he buries himself as deep as possible inside your pretty hole, the sensations pushing jake to the edge, the rubber band in his stomach begging to snap. âughââ you groan against jakeâs lips as he captures them in a kiss, slow and sloppy but so full of want and need and unspoken pleas of never leave my side.
jake pulls away from the kiss, continuing to push into you with slow movements, wanting to feel every inch of your walls with each drag of his cock, holding his impending orgasm back behind gritted teeth, âtell me what you need, baby, wanna feel you cum all over my cock.â
âjust need you,â you plead, eyes watering from the overwhelming presence of jake bearing his body to you, his mind and soul on display as he shows you how much he needs you with each loving action. âjust need you,â you repeat, mind slipping away as he continues his movements, hips never tiring as he chases what he knows you need. jake removes one arm from your neck to snake down to your core, rubbing between your folds to gather up your own wetness before rubbing against your clit in the pattern he knows you love.
âfuckâ jakeyââ you groan, burying your head into the crook of his neck as he stares down at where the two of you meet, mind never getting tired of the visual of you taking him all inside, his length sliding in and out with ease. jake begins to fuck into you faster, nearly rutting against you as he chases the orgasm he knows is brewing in your gut. âcome on, my angel girl, make a mess on me,â his words in your ears as you pull away from his neck to look at him. you nearly cry seeing jake meet your gaze; his delicate brown eyes meeting your own, need swimming in his gaze, âfuck!ââ you gasp, beginning to babble words that donât register in your mind as your high washes over you. jake watches your eyes fluttering shut, finally allowing himself to cum with you, pushing as deep as he can. jake watches as your breathing returns to normal, glancing down at the white ring surrounding his length, some of your cum mixture escaping and spilling everywhere. âgod, baby, look at you. my perfect angel.â he traces his thumb along your cheek, watching a smile overtake your lips, knowing youâre utterly spent after only two orgasms. the dayâs festivities have taken a toll on you, and he can see the tiredness in your eyes as they watch him with adoration.
you smile, âyou donât even know how happy you make me.â
jake cleans both of you off diligently, promising to throw the bedding in the wash tomorrow, knowing the cum would stain if you left it any longer. âi love you,â he breathes out, watching your face for a reaction at his sudden admission. you nearly cry as the words reach your ears, an overwhelming sensation in your gut. âyou do?â you whimper, eyesight feeling blurring from the tears accumulating along your lashline. âi do, baby.â
âi love you, too, jakey.â he wraps you in a hug, neither of you caring that youâre both still naked, just needing to feel his hands holding you close to him. your voice is shaky and quiet as he holds you impossibly close, âi love you so much, you donât even know.â
jake pulls back, holding your shoulders and placing kisses all over your face, on any spot he can reach, âyou donât know how happy i am to hear that, angel. youâve made my life so much better.â
ânow you have a built in study partner for life,â you tease, smiling at his continued onslaught of gentle kisses across your cheeks and nose, on your eyelids and on the corner of your mouth. âfor life, huh?â jake teases, watching as your cheeks burn red at the realization of what youâve said.
âdonât worry, pretty. now that i have you, iâm never letting you go.â
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summary: make up sex with old man!logan.
cws/tags: smut, mdni! oldman!logan. insecure!logan. petnames. logan calls reader âkidâ. jealous!logan. daddy kink. oral (f receiving). not proofread.Â
Logan canât be âmadâ at you for more than a day. He just fucking canât, alright?
He tried to keep his hands to his own as a protest of yesterday's quarrel. Logan still doesnât know if itâs meant to be a punishment for you or himself.Â
The older man does know that when heâs jealous, heâs doing it in a self-destructive way.
How he isolates himself and avoids you instead - because he knows that he doesnât deserve you. A fucking hundred-year-old something whoâs angry all the time, whoâs aloof to the world, and whoâs pining over someone as pretty and young as you.Â
It fucking wound him too when he pretends nothing ever hurt him, that the way you laugh too loud at the guyâs jokes at the pub did not have any effect on him. That he had to pretend as if heâs not an insecure old man who just wants you all to himself by making things worse.Â
âCâmon.â Itâs all that Logan could force out as he skims through whatever heâs pretending to read, ignoring the way his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth in ferocity, âWhatâre you on, huh? Yâve got no reason to throw a tantrum like this, kid.âÂ
He sees the moments when your gaze changes, hurt bleeding into the orb, âYouâre mean, Logan.â It wounds him - but this kind of confrontation is all heâs ever known.Â
Hell, he doesnât even know why you decided to stay with him. He thought youâd leave in the middle of the night of the first month after figuring out how much of a failure of a man he is.Â
So when he goes back from his tiring work and still sees your figure cooking dinner for him in the kitchen, he fucking loses it. His breath gets stuck in his lungs as he watches you stroll around with one of his henley shirts, humming softly the tunes of your favourite song.Â
Maybe heâd use a different type of confrontation nowâmaybe heâd talk about his feelings more often. Heâd do everything not to lose this sole sight: His pretty girl being so domestic that he canât help but get so shamelessly hard.
The way he tried to gain composure and not to lose his coolness but fails miserably at the sight of his your shirt riding up to give him a good view of your perky ass as you reach something from the top cabinet.Â
Logan takes you by surprise when he wraps his arms around you, nipping and kissing the soft skin below your earâhis way to say sorry - itâs all my fault.
âWill yaâ forgive your old man, sweet girl?â
He hates how he sounded so unconfident - so different from his younger self.
But when you lean your back onto his chest and shyly nod, his worries are buried. Logan hauls you up with a smile, the bone-cracking sound reminds him of his old age. He rumbles in laughter when you squeal in surprise before spreading your thighs apart on the kitchen counter, pulling your legs around his head so he can eat his dinner.Â
His big nose drapes around your clothed pussy before groaning at the smell of you. Cursing himself from avoiding you yesterday when he could have had this. âYâve got such a pretty pussy, baby. âS mine, huh? My pussy.â He says as he takes off your panties.
The statement itself and the scratchy feel of his ragged beard made you arch your back from the rough surface, âA-ah, âs yours, Daddy.â
âThaâs right.â Logan licks a stripe of your dampening pussy, deeply humming in delight when you let out a high-pitched whine and subconsciously locking your legs tighter to pull him closer. You trail your hands down and tug at his greying hair while he laps you up and fucks you with his tongue. Making you come undone in just a span of a short time.
Logan wipes his mouth and beard as he stands before you in quick breaths, looking at you all apologetically: Iâmsorry Iâmsorry Iâmsorry-
Youâre teary-eyed, blinking up at him - whining for him to fuck you hard now - to make up his stupid faults.Â
Stupid old man who thinks heâs not worthy of you.
 Logan groans as he tosses away his belt, holding the base of his cock as he teasingly drags the head on your wet folds, âSsh. Let Daddy make it up tâya, alright? Daddyâs gonâ give it to you now, baby.âÂ
#logan howlett#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett x reader#old man logan#old man!logan#old man logan x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#logan by nina <3
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âč àŁȘ Ë ÖŽ Û« đŹđšđŠđđđĄđąđ§đ đđš đĄđđ§đ đšđ§đđš | đ.đđ
â PAIRING: fuck buddy ! cat dad ! minho x f. reader
đ„» SYNOPSIS: A broken air conditioner in your best friend's apartment leads to him having to shack up with you until things get sorted, but considering his sex drive, it doesn't take long for things to get steamy in a different way...
â WARNINGS: KINKTOBER SPECIAL, swearing, temperature play kink, kissing, dry humping, masturbation (f. receiving), minho gets a bit jealous at one part, mentions of food, mentions of enhypen's jake, crying (barely), finger + tit + neck sucking (f. receiving), not proofread
đ„» WORD COUNT: 5.2k - DAY 5
â AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic was originally intended to be a gift for @minhosimthings 's 21st birthday, but since I was such an amazing moot and didn't finish writing it in time, I simply decided to save it for now hehe ^^
OCTOBER.
Not usually the warmest month of the year, but it had become precisely that for your close friend Minho when his apartment AC suddenly gave out, leaving him to sleep with nothing but his boxers on almost every nightâ
âProof?â You asked via text while ending your three-hour long conversation with him one night.
Ding!
A picture of Lino and his sweat-glazed body took over your phone screen, his toned thighs just barely hanging off his gingham-dressed bed set with a spare pillow being placed precariously in the place where you're certain his bulge would be.
âSince you were so desperate to get a first-hand glimpse of my suffering⊠hope you're satisfied now,â his text read below the photo, and you smiled at the message, not even bothering to scold yourself for blushingâŠ
âTrust me, this did the trick... can't wait to get you outta that hell hole and in some proper air conditioning, though...â
âLooking forward to it,â Lino texted back with a pink heart emoji, âgoodnight now, kitty.â
âNight night!â You returned, feeling your cheeks warm up at the pet-name he used for you, and you used to hate smiling at your phone whenever you got a flirty message from someone, but when it came to Minho, you didnât mind the butterflies as muchâŠ
You laid your head on your pillow, facing the ceiling as a gentle sigh fell from your lips, and the selfie that Lino sent you meddled in the back of your mind, causing your imagination to do wonders in making the photo come alive...
Despite being best friends who admittedly had sex with each other from time to time, Minho, had been the subject of your sexual fantasies for a while now, and you honestly couldnât blame yourself for itâŠ
I mean, letâs be real, he's got that dark and handsome thing going on with a platinum smile to match.
And let's not forget about his muscular build, too, which is the result of hours spent either dancing or hitting up the gym every week.
Youâve always had a thing for him, and you vividly remember the first night you two crossed the line between strictly friends and something a little more than that.
It was the night right after he got fired from his job, and while upon stopping by your place to cool off some steam, the both of you were two drinks passed tipsy as the sexual tension ran rampant between you.
Yâall were cooking dinner together, and you couldn't help but steal glances at him as he chopped vegetables and sautĂ©ed meat...
The way his toned muscles rippled under his T-shirt as he navigated the kitchen was too much for you to handle that night... you remember feeling your panties grow damp in that moment, just like they were now as you imagined him pinning you against the kitchen counter and fucking you completely senseless.
Sliding your hands beneath your covers, you found the hem of your pajama pants while imagining Lino was right before you, telling you to undress for him.
And although your eyes were closed, you could see the whole memory as clear as day, playing each moment over slowly in your mind as if watching a clip from your favorite movieâŠ
You thought about how you put the spoon down that you used to stir the pasta before walking over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist while sighing at the contact.
Envisioning the way he looked back at you with a mixture of pleasant surprise and desire staining his gorgeous features, you remember feeling his hard cock press against your front.
And back then, it startled you at first⊠the fact that he had gotten so turned on just from being around youâ
âMinho,â you remember whispering to him, and you did the same thing now as you laid on your mattress with a heavy heart, your fingers slowly gliding over your bare cunt in the same way that his fingers touched you before.
In your memory, he only responded by grabbing your waist and kissing you deeply, all before lifting you up onto the counter and spreading your legs apart so he could get between them.
He leaned in close, his breath warm yet shiver-inducing against your face as he whispered back, âI want you so bad, ____âŠâ
He trailed kisses down your neck, making his way to your cleavage where he toyed with your nipple slightly, and you let one of your hands grope your tits to mimic the way he touched you then.
Arching your back against the mattress, you recall moaning faintly as he sucked and bit at your sensitive skin, his skilled hands roaming your body beneath the thin fabric of your shirt.
You reached down for the button on his jeans and undid it before pulling down his zipper to free his aching cock, and you remember stroking it gently as you felt it twitch in your hand.
Lino groaned at your touch, and it wasnât long before he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you to the edge of the counter, positioning himself at your entrance while teasing your clit with the tip of his cock.
You whimpered, both back then and presently while laying in bed, and you begged him to fuck you as if he was actually there with you.
Using your index and middle finger, you jammed them inside your cunt, crying out in pleasure while imagining your pathetic digits were your best friendâs fat cock thrusting inside you.
You remember being fucked rough and fast by him as his balls slapped against your ass with every snap of his hips, and you could feel yourself growing closer and closer to orgasming.
âM-Minho, Iâm gonna cum,â you gasped, feeling your walls clench around your fingers as you kept fingering yourself to the memory of him making you love to you, and you eventually did just thatâŠ
Your climax ripped through your body like a freight train, and you imagined Minhoâs orgasm following yours soon after, filling you up with his hot release.
Panting out loud, you slipped your fingers from your cunt, only opening your eyes slightly now as you melted back into reality, wishing that Minho could be right beside you now like he was back thenâŠ
You thought about the way he looked at you with a satisfied smile before pulling you into a tight embrace.
âI love you, ____,â his voice responded in the back of your mind as a gentle whisper, and you felt yourself becoming sleepy as you turned to lay on your side, still shaken up from climaxing so fastâŠ
âI love you too, Minho,â you whispered to yourself as if he could hear it, smiling with closed eyes as you finally fell fast asleep, just mere hours from facing the morning ahead of youâŠ
THE NEXT MORNING came by faster than you expected as a now fully clothed and much less sweaty Minho stood at your doorstep, a dainty porcelain dish resting in the grasp of his veiny hands.
You had invited him over to stay over at your place until the broken AC situation at his place got sorted out, and you were more than ready to spend the next few days with him under the same roof as youâŠ
âI come bearing treats,â he chirped with a smile as you welcomed him in with a friendly hand.
He was wearing a dark turtleneck sweater and dark pants to match with an auburn, plaid trench coat to top of his gold accessories.
âOh, Minho,â you began while taking the tray from him, a certain smell having distracted your train of thought, âyou didn't have to go out of your way and⊠wait⊠is there espresso in this?â
âMhm,â your friend nodded proudly while kicking off his shoes before making his way to your all-too-familiar kitchen where he opened the fridge door for you, âwith mascarpone creammm, lady fingersss, cocoa powderrrrââ
âYou made me tiramisu?â You asked with widened eyes, making him chuckle a bit at your shocked reaction.
âAs a symbol of my appreciation since you opened your home up to me, of course,â Lino smiled before leaning against the kitchen counter, and you couldnât help yourself from giving him a hug in this moment.
At first, his body tensed up at the way your hands felt upon wrapping around him so suddenly, but he eventually relaxed as you lazily spoke the words, âYou feel like a human oven right nowâŠâ
âAnd you feel like a freezer,â Minho returned while chuckling, just as you broke from the hug.
âYea... I guess that happens sometimes when your air conditioner isn't bustedâŠâ you shrugged sarcastically, and Minho gives you a painfully forced laugh before following your trail back to the living roomâ
âWhere're your cats?â You inquire, noticing that he had brought all of their play and food gear, but the pets themselves were no where in sight.
âOh, they're waiting for me in the car, actually,â he said, walking past you to put his shoes back on at the front door.
âSo your precious little felines are too good for a local pet-sitter now?â You tease, feeling your heart warm up at the sound of him snickering at your comment.
âNot just that,â he began, âmy little kitties are angel's indeed, but I'm not ignorant to the fact that they can be a handful... even for me...â
You let his words sink in, taking a mental note of what he said.
âWant me to help you gather them from your car then?â You offer, meeting him where he stood at the door now.
âPlease,â Minho scoffed, side-eyeing you with a small smirk, âyou doubt that I can handle my own three baby's or something? I mean... c'mon, have you seen my arms lately?â
âNo, actually... just your thighs,â you said while tilting your head at him, clearly checking him out, and the look he gives you wouldâve otherwise knocked you clean off your feet if he was any closer to youâ
Beep beep.
The sound of Minhoâs car blared in the distance as you pressed to âUNLOCKâ bottom on his keys upon the two of you making your way outside together.
Single-handedly, Minho opens the door for himself, and you watch with a shy smile as he scoops his cats up in his arms, their dainty paws tugging and scratching at his jacket almost immediately.
âSo much for making me feel loved and cherished, you guys...â Minho says jokingly as of his cats can understand his words, and you help by opening the door for him to come back inside when you get a notification from your phone.
The sound catches Minhoâs attention immediately, but youâre not aware of the dinging until you hear it again⊠and again, til you hear it a total of five times.
âLooks like someoneâs popular today,â your friend says from behind you while setting his cats down to roam the house freely.
âEh, itâs probably just my boss,â you return while walking over to your desk to see who the message is from, âI have a meeting later today, and heâs probably just wondering if Iâm still up for itâŠâ
Her boss?⊠Sending her more than three messages in a row?⊠Minho thought to himself in the back of his mind, and his ears are quick to notice how quiet you get suddenly.
He waits for you to say something⊠anything at all, but you remain silent, a focused expression taking over your face now as your thumbs tap your phone screen like crazy.
Ding.
Another message comes through, and Minho canât ignore the curiosity brewing inside him anymore.
âWhoâre you texting?â
âA friend⊠good thing it wasnât my bossâŠâ
âWhat friend?â He asks again, and heâs trying to hide the irritation in his voice as you fail to look him in the eyes while speaking to him.
âJust JakeâŠâ
âJake?â Minho repeated, almost sounding disgusted that you had even said such a thing, âyou mean that⊠that dog guy?â
âIf thatâs what people are calling him these days, then yes, that dog guy,â you return plainly, eyes still glued to your phone.
Minho makes sure your front door is locked before walking past you to grab the remote from your desk, clicking the TV on so his cats could watch something while sitting on your couch.
âWhatever,â he scoffed beneath his breath, and you only spare him a quick glance before going right back to texting, âyouâre clearly more of a cat person anyways⊠right?â
âLino, he was just wishing me good luck at my meeting, alright?â
Yea, the meeting you didnât even bother telling me about, Minho thought to himself again before your voice interrupted him to say:
âItâs really not that deepâŠâ
âRight⊠not like I'd expect much depth from Mr. Short-Stuff to begin withââ
âBro, knock it off, will you? You two are literally the same height for crying out loudâŠâ
âWho said I was talking about height?â
You look up from your phone, giving him a deadpan look as you sighed with frustration, âMinhoâŠâ
âAlright, alright, I'm knocking it off now, relaxâŠâ he said as the sound of a random TV show filled h the w background now, and he internally rolled his eyes at the way you were acting with him now.
âThank youâŠâ you replied half-heartedly before setting your phone down on your desk finally, âand enough about Jake for the rest of the time youâre here, please⊠he's not a concern to youâŠâ
âYea, of course,â Minho sarcastically agreed as he made his way over to sit on the couch with his cats, âno concerns⊠no worries⊠you and I are just friends at the end of the day, too, right?â
âRight⊠just friendsâŠâ you returned, just as the alarm clock on your phone went off this time.
âShit, I gotta get ready⊠Iâll be doing my meeting here at my desk, so if you could turn the TV off once I come back, thatâd be great, yea?â You asked in a rushed tone, and Minho simply nodded, right before you made your way to your bedroom, closing the door behind you.
Sighing, the poor guy couldnât help but feel threatened by Jakeâs presence in your life⊠and as hard as it was for Minho to admit, Jake was a good looking guy who had an equally attractive personality to go with itâŠ
âWeâre just friends,â Minho said to himself in a mocking tone as his cat Dori crawled into his lap, purring softly for cuddlesâŠ
âYea,â he continued to say out loud, feeling the stress in his hands barely ease away as he massaged the top of Doriâs head, âfriendâs who fuck each otherâŠâ
ABOUT AN HOUR had passed before your meeting was finally all done and over with, and to your favor, everything turned out great!âŠ
Though, you still expected to be glued to your desk for at least another hour or two as your boss had assigned you with a new company proposal to work on.
Your home-printer had just finished spitting out a stack of 25 sheets of paper that you were expected to have proof-read and revised by the next morning.
Yes, you genuinely did love your job⊠but sometimes, the workload could be a handful, and it wasnât helping one bit that Lino and his cats were having a play date just a few feet away from you.
Cat toys like fuzzy balls and squeaky fish decorated your floor like a daycare center as the three animals crawled on every surface they could in your home.
Paying Minho a quick look, he was still sitting on the couch, Soonie laying on his chest as he brushed over her fluffy body with his hand, cooing at the sleepy creatureâŠ
Seeing Minho behave so lovingly with his pets always touched a soft spot inside you, and thatâs when he senses your eyes are on him, turning his head on the couch briefly to return a glance.
âBeautiful, isnât she?â He began, and the cat visibly purred at the feeling of Minhoâs deep voice vibrating against her body.
âVery,â you said softly, looking away now as you reached for the nearby stapler, clipping the stack of paper in place, âso beautiful that itâs distracting, in factâŠâ
âI wasnât talking to you, silly,â Minho chuckles, making your eyebrows screw into confused squigglesâ
âI was asking Soonie about youâŠâ he finishes, looking back at your for a second with a loving look in his eyes, and you try not to smile at his words, only because you know how much he likes teasing you for getting flustered with himâŠ
You loved the way Linoâs presence always had a way of warming you up from the outside-in, and you almost started to feel guilty for giving him such a hard time earlier.
Clink!⊠SplashâŠ
âDori, watch out!â You called out suddenly with a loud voice, and Minho turns to see what youâre yelling about.
âThatâs Doongie, ____⊠sheâs the orange one, remember?â Minho asked jokingly, but youâre too distressed now to pay his humor any mind.
âWell, maybe you shouldnât have bought so many cats so I could recall their goofy names betterâŠâ you sighed with a broken voice now, looking at the mess before you that Minho was still oblivious toâŠ
Dori, Doongie, or whatever he name was had leaped onto your desk out of excitement, only to knock over your cup of coffee, causing it to spill all over the documents you just printedâŠ
And yea, it was obviously an accident, but this was the second time today that you ran into an obstacle since Minho arrived, and you couldnât hold back your anger anymoreâŠ
âHeyyy, thatâs not nice,â Minho began with a pout, though his voice sounded quiet in your ears as your eyes started to brim with frustrated tears, âmy kittie's were very respectful when you first joined the family⊠even when you always stole their daddyâs attentionâŠâ
With a quiet sniffle, you wiped the tears from your eyes as fast as you could before Lino could notice it, sulking to yourself as you thought about how long itâd take to reprint all the papers and go over them with new revisions againâŠ
âYouâre right, Lino,â you said in a weak voice, picking up the curious orange cat from your desk as she was only starting to track coffee-paw prints all over your keyboard, âAnd sorry, Doongie⊠I shouldnât have yelled at you...â
Everything was stressing you out, at this point, and it only made you feel worse for being such a miserable host to Minho, especially in his first day over.
âIâll come back in a bit to clean this up, but I just need to lay down for a minute if thatâs okay?â You whispered, and by time Lino could process everything that was happening l, you were already walking off back to your room.
âC-clean up?⊠____, come back please,â Minho stood up from the couch, calling after you only to have you shut the door at his words⊠literallyâŠ
A small sigh fell from his lips as he walked over to where you sat, and heâs just now becoming aware of the huge mess of coffee and soggy papers all over your desk.
âOh, DoongieâŠâ Minho sighed again, looking back at his cat who sat quietly at the very top of the cat tree set, playing with one of the fuzzy toy balls she had carried from the floor, âway to go ruining my romantic momentâŠâ
MINHO TOOK IT upon himself to help and tidy things up while you were regathering yourself in your bedroom.
Sure, he usually didnât handle household chores much beyond cooking or baking, but he still made it his duty to correct some of the damage he had cost in one way or another.
A pile of dirty dishes in your sink became the centerpiece of your kitchen, coupled with the mini trashcan in the corner being filled to the top with old coffee pods, crumbled up sheets of paper, and takeout containers.
Though, by now he had already replaced the dirty trash bag with a new one, wiped off the coffee splatters from your desk and keyboard, printed a new copy of your work documents, and jotted down all the revisions you made to the best of his ability,
All that was left to do now was tackle the dishes you left behind...
Running some warm and bubbly water for the dishes, Minho slipped on a pair of rubber gloves, grabbed a sponge, and started scrubbing away.
You could faintly hear the clinking of plates from your room which made you run out to see what he was up to.
âHello again, strangerâŠ.â Minho greeted sarcastically, despite the way he smiled at you.
âHeyâŠâ you returned quietly while walking behind him and wrapping your arms at his waist... a gesture you're just now realizing you did a little too frequently to call yourselves just friends...
âYou didnât have to do all this,â you continued, looking beside his frame to watch as he rinsed the bubbles from around the sink, âI should be cleaning my own messes, Minho... you're supposed to be a guest, for Christ's sakeâŠâ
âI know,â he says softly, mirroring the tranquility in your tone, âjust figured you could use the extra help, thoughâŠâ
Slipping off the gloves, he hangs them over the sink, before removing your hands from hugging him, âGo in the den real quick, and I'll meet you in there...â
And either being too exhausted to object or simply obedient to his dominance, you do exactly as he says, walking back to the living room and taking a seat on the couch... and you're glad to find that his cats are sleeping in their shared kitty bed, resting soundly together.
Meanwhile, Minho was busy rummaging through your fridge, looking for the dessert tray he had brought earlier. He wanted to cute you a nice square of tiramisu from the dish before heading back to the living room, a single fork clad in his grasp.
You watched him with a raised eyebrow as he approached, placing the plate of tiramisu in your hands. He then settled at the end of the couch across from you, reaching down to grab your ankles and pull your legs toward him.
That was odd, you thought to yourself, very odd...
âSo, let's skip the bullshit here and cut straight to the chase,â he began in a low voice, shamelessly letting his fingers trail up your calves before parting your legs open at the knees; âYouâve been trying to avoid me, haven't you?â
You let yourself blink a few times before challenging him in a similarly catty tone, âI donât know, have you given me a reason to?â
âOf course not⊠Hell, I even made you this fancy ass dessert from scratch... you should be praising the air I breathe right now...â
âAlright, Gordon Ramsey... give me a second to taste it first and then Iâll decide if you deserve that muchâŠâ You replied, taking the fork that he handed to you from his grasp before sticking it into the fluffy treat and bringing it to your mouth.
âFinally... now how's it taste?â He asks, tilting his head at how long you took to swallow such a small bite.
âIt's delicious,â you return with a nonchalant voice to egg him on even more, even though deep down you had to fight the urge to take another bite.
It was almost shocking how good it tasted, and his ratio of all the ingredients was worth cultivating an entire culinary study for...
Though, your train of thought was soon interrupted once he leaned in closer to you, resting his flexed hands on the couch armrest you laid your head on, caging you beneath his frame...
âY'know... you seemed much more pleasant over text the other night, but now... you're cold⊠what changed?â Minho asked, and you fought the feeling of nerves growing within your stomach, thinking back to how you imagined him on top of you just like this while you fucked yourself dizzy with your fingers...
âMaybe itâs this,â you whispered, tugging at the lower hem of his shirt, as a glint of playfulness flickered in his eyes, âyou should know by now how bothered I get when thing's keep getting in the way of my desires...â
âGood, then. Iâll keep it on so you have something to hang onto,â he returned through a smirk, and you scoffed at him, right before taking another bite of the tiramisu.
âPlease, just drop the act, ____,â Minho chuckled at your failed attempt at being intimidating, âYouâve practically been eye fucking me this whole time, anyway, so it's no surprise youâve been so moody all day⊠you need me to fuck your nerves away, huh?â
âOh, don't flatter yourself, Minho,â you retort, even though the dirty manner of his words makes you feel a rush inside.
Clink.
You take the fork, digging into the tiramisu once more as you gathered a hefty forkful, right before feeding some to Minho.
Though, a bit of the cream lingers at the corner of his mouth, and you moisten the tip of your thumb with your own spit before swiping at his lips and asking, âYou always eat this messy?â
And Minho only responds with the fattest smirk you've seen all day, grabbing your wrist as he took your whole thumb in his mouth, humming around it as he sucked it clean before releasing it with a pop.
âYou freaky bastardââ
âJust admit that you miss my touchâŠâ Minho interrupts your insult, his voice laced with seduction as he shimmies all the way between your legs now, pressing his crotch against yours, âyouâre doing anything you can to put your hands on me, anyway⊠so why don't you just take what you want?â
His question meddles in the fog of your mind, and you feel your heart rate start to increase just from having his body pressed so close to yours...
It was different from the times when you'd innocently hug him... it was different from the fantasies you had in the darkness of your room while completely alone... and above all, it was different when you were sober, fully present to experience every emotion bubbling inside you, even the nervous ones.
âPoor baby,â Lino pouts, and his voice pulls you back from your thought, shivering from wishing as he takes the cold, metal fork and runs it along the side of your neck, âyou're too shy for your own good...â
His words resound in the back of your mind again, and you're not sure how long they linger there, but before you know it, he has his lips against yours, kissing you deeply as the thought of tiramisu is long gone, the pastry plate sitting on the floor now.
And he's groaning into your mouth, the taste of espresso on his tongue making you chase his lips even more, but only for his hand to keep pushing you down by the chest.
âM-Minho,â you mumble in between kissing him, âcould you stop teasing me for one fucking second, please?...â
He lets himself chuckle at your neediness, smiling against your lips now as he whispers, âSorry, kitty... I just like getting you worked up sometimes...â
And that's when your turn comes around to make him feel flustered as you let one of your hands find the base of his neck, and his breath hitches as you squeeze slightly, watching as the sexiest smirk overtakes his face now.
Leaning back down, Minho kisses you even harder now, and his hips can't help but to grind against you, and even though his movements are gentle at first, you let out a desperate moan that let's him know to keep going.
Both your bodies were heating up like crazy now as Minho's hand slowly crept under the soft cotton of your shirt, caressing the smooth skin of your stomach.
His breath was just as hot against your lips as his tongue danced with yours, making you shiver with anticipation as you both explored and claimed every inch of each other's mouths.
Foul wet sounds were filling the space now as his pelvis kept bumping into yours, rolling against you in fluid waves as if he was doing the sweetest dance of lust with you.
Minho's hands found their way under your shirt again, but this time he reached for the clasp of your bra, unhooking the latch with deft fingers and freeing your aching breasts from the confines.
You whined into his mouth as his hands cupped the weight of your tits, letting his thumbs teasing your nipples to hardness as your hands got equally busy, clinging at his shirt as you fought to get it off of him.
As your palms made contact with his warm flesh, you dug your nails into his back, urging him closer to you as a shaky grunt slipped past his own lips now, glaring at you with darkened eyes as the pain you caused mixed with pleasure.
Breaking from the kiss, Minho left a trail of wet kisses along your jaw before stopping at the sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder.
He sucked and nibbled, marking you as his, and your eye rolled to the back of your head at the tantalizing feeling of his rough bulge humping against your clothed cunt.
It wasn't long before you two decided to change positions, though, straddling Minho's lap so that his rock-hard erection was trapped between your two bodies, allowing you to rock your hips at the perfect angle to draw him over the edge.
And you both were cursing under your breath at this point, practically drooling at the sensation of you rubbing your heat against his hardening length through your clothes.
Forcing you down and against his body, Minho captured your mouth in his again, claiming it with urgency as his tongue mimicked the rhythm of your hips.
You felt your arousal start to seep through your panties, and that was likely the last straw Minho needed to let himself go, whining beneath you as your hips bucked against his erratically.
âOh, fuckkk!â You cried out, feeling your breath coming in short, desperate gasps as Minho, with one final thrust, felt himself cumming in his pants, a warm and sticky stain rising to the surface of his pants now as you cried out each others names, waves of pleasure consuming you both...
Panting and covered in the evidence of your mutual pleasure, you let your spent body collapse against him, hearing his heart race against your head as you laid on his chest.
âHoly shit,â he whispered, a satisfied yet tired smile on his face, âthat went by so fast, but it felt so good,â he went on, âso... fucking... good...â
You laughed at his words, feeling how his warm breath tickling the top of your head.
âYou have no idea how long I've wanted to do that,â you added, just as one of his hands moved up to stroke your hair slightly...
Snuggling impossibly closer to him, you hear him let out a sigh, one that started in agreement and ended in painful realization...
âI should probably get cleaned up now so you can finish revising that company proposal before the morning comes,â Minho says, but his words make you cling to him even harder, making it obvious to him that you had no intention of leaving him alone again anytime soon...
ââ±âź Thank you to everyone who made it to the end of this highly belated birthday fic, which actually concludes DAY 5 of my Kinktober Event !! If you're interested in reading more works like this, feel free to check out my main enhypen masterlist or my kinktober masterlist by clicking one of these links !!
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THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, pt. 2 â JJK (m.)
for as long as you can remember, youâve always been a hopeless romantic.
the girl whoâs always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesnât come grand â itâs simple and itâs quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that youâve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader
GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 27.5k
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, hopeless romantic!oc. shirtless jk in almost every scene ijbol he needs to get locked up, jk thigh tattoo đ a dash of sexual themes (ie: making out, grinding) and violence, this is pretty much MED SCHOOL LORE GALORE bcs boy, was there so much history mentioned here, 3/4 of this is in jk pov, so ladies.... prepare yourselves đ€so much fluff, and we counter that with not major but not minor either ANGST, so many conversations and dialogues in this one lol, this hopefully offers every answer youre looking for from part one, when ur done reading the chapter this is how the keyring looks like
NOTES hi!! this chapter was supposed to be longer but i was like.. fuck that đ its getting too long. anyway. hope u guys enjoy this one!! this is my most favorite thing ive ever written i think n im weirdly very proud of this one idk. scream into my inbox and the reply section if u have #thoughtss đđ [ important: pls make sure to read the note below ]
[ TLP MOODBOARD ] // [ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ]
SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST
You take your sweet time trying to right your wrongs.
After that day, you were the one to initiate a call with Mingyu which he answered thankfully (you were a little skeptical about him calling you that night). You went over to his place after your shift, apologizing to him for lying about your roommate situation. Admittedly, Mingyu still doesnât seem to be wholly okay with it â but he doesnât really say anything more about it. He kissed you better that night, his lips making you forget all about the stress that youâve went through for the day, convincing you to stay over.
The night bled into two when he said he couldnât let you go. Mingyu was persistent and you were unwilling to go in the first place. Partly because who didnât want to spend more time with their significant other? But itâs also because of a certain someone that is no other than Jeon Jungkook.
Those two nights are going on four â which means that youâve been avoiding Jungkook for the past three days now.
It doesnât seem like a difficult task though because Jungkook seems to be doing the same. That was your hunch. He replies to you with dry-ass âokayâs when you text him about not going home because youâre staying at Mingyuâs. Nothing more, and nothing less.
Which is unusual of him. Sure, in your almost decade-long friendship, youâve fought a bunch of times. But it usually gets resolved in a day or two. And Jungkook wasnât ever cold like he is right now.
See, the regular Jungkook would find you anywhere on your floor at the hospital just to annoy you. When your time allows it, you eat together with your friends at lunch.
But now, he seems to always have something to do â which, okay, fair. Heâs a surgeon, after all. But he doesnât even spare you a glance whenever you two meet halfway in the hallways. Yesterday, you coincidentally scrubbed in together for the same surgery but he did not say a word to you other than, âScalpelâ.
The rest of your friends are already asking about it. Doyeon told you he had lunch with Jungkook this afternoon, but when she mentioned that maybe you were free to go with them, Jungkook suddenly had to look over a patientâs chart.
Itâs not just a hunch anymore. He really is avoiding you.
And to be honest, youâre tired of the whole pussyfooting around. Heâs being childish â and youâll be the better person to come and talk to him about it. Granted, youâre three days late. But at least youâre doing it.
You texted Mingyu earlier this afternoon that youâre coming home to your apartment tonight. He was bummed about it, you could feel it through his message, nonetheless he replied saying heâll miss you, which put a smile to your tired face from work.
When you went home from your shift at 9pm, Jungkook wasnât anywhere in the house. Which was a shame â because you were planning to talk to him.
Well. Maybe youâd wait for him.
But it seemed like you underestimated your exhaustion for the day because as soon you finished showering, dressing yourself with your bed clothes which consists of comfortable flimsy camisole and panty shorts, you went straight to bed and passed out â forgetting about Jungkook.
Itâs past 2 am when you feel yourself waking up from your deep slumber, stomach grumbling at the emptiness, and you realize you did not only forget about waiting for Jungkook but also about eating dinner.
Walking out of your room, you head straight to the kitchen where you immediately go to open the refrigerator to see if thereâs something in it you can consume. There are boxes of Chinese food take-out which makes your eyes light up. When you open to smell them, it seems that theyâre still new.
You deduce it must be Jungkookâs.
That gives you the predicament of whether you should eat it or not. You take youâre not exactly on good terms as of the moment â therefore you canât eat his food. But youâre really hungry.
Throwing away your inhibitions, you open one of the boxes, not even bothering to heat the food.
âHey,â
You almost jump upon hearing another voice. Looking to your side, you see Jungkook approaching, with only his boxers on, upper half naked. Â
âH-hey,â you say, pursing your lips into a thin line. âAre these yours?â You point to the take-out box in your hand.
Jungkook nods and heads straight to your direction. Taking one of the boxes, he hauls himself to the kitchen island, twisting his body so that he can face you.
âYep.â he responds, dipping his fingers inside the box and taking out strands of noodles from it.
You wince at the sight. âLook like worms.â
ïżœïżœïżœJust like worms.â Jungkook grins, chewing on them in that obnoxious way because he knows you donât like noisy eaters.
Frowning, you decide to follow him to the island and haul yourself on top of it as well, sitting beside him. Jungkook scoots to the side to give you more room.
âItâs kind of like eating naengmyeon, I donât like naengmyeon.â You tell him, opening another box and feeling delighted to see untouched stir-fried rice. âDid you just buy this earlier?â
Jungkook nods. âLeft them in the fridge when I realized I wasnât too hungry.â
âThen you woke up feeling hungry?â You smile at him.
He chuckles. âYeah. When did you get off work?â
âNine. You?â
âTwelve am.â
You grimace at that, but nod in understanding.
Thereâs a beat of silence before Jungkook speaks up again.
âDidnât expect to see you here tonight.â
âJust wanted to remind you Iâm still your housemateâŠâ you joke, brushing your elbow against his arm in a teasing manner.
Jungkook laughs as he shakes his head. He picks up another batch of noodles in his fingers and then offers it to you, prompting you to arch your brow at him. âTry it.â
You shake your head. âI hate cold noodles.â
âJust try,â He insists, placing it closer to your face. You scrunch your nose, skeptical. It makes Jungkook chuckle lowly. âHead back.â
Hesitantly, you tilt your head back and open your mouth as Jungkook puts the noodles inside it. You almost choke on it when Jungkook laughs mid-way, making you laugh as well, but thankfully, you were able to chew all of them just fine.
âWhat the fuck.â You frown, slapping his arm good-naturedly.
âWasnât so bad, huh?â
âIt was bad.â You say, going back to eating your fried rice. Jungkook gives you a look that says heâs not convinced. Looking at his face, you roll your eyes, âItâs like eatingââ you stop mid-sentence as Jungkook quickly wipes off something on the side of your lips. Itâs so quick though that you brush it off just as instantly and continue, ââliteral worms.â
âImagine if worms tasted like noodles. Wouldnât that be sick as hell?â Jungkook muses, stretching his arm over you to reach for another take-out box on the counter. Itâs so sudden that your immediate reflex was to stretch your upper body backwards, feeling a little taken aback when Jungkookâs face gets a little too close to your stomach, with his arm rubbing over your bare thighs.
He seems like it doesnât move him, though. Just goes back to his position casually and opens another box. As he does, you canât help but take a quick look at his bulging thighs, the short length of his boxers letting you get a brief view of the tattoo that peeks out of the expanse of his skin. Youâve seen that before many times, but not the entirety â of course not. It looks like it goes up from way above. Anyway, itâs sort of like a flower, but youâre not sure. You never really asked him about it. He never brings it up either.
âOh, man, the dumplings got cold.â Jungkook picks inside his box as if heâd miraculously find one thatâs not cold.
You roll your eyes at his antics. âYou stored them in the fridge for like how many hours now?â
Ignoring you, Jungkook takes out one dumpling, trying to eat it, and you watch as he visibly winces. In a moment, he shoots one straight to the trash bin across from you.
âOh, thatâs real mature.â You say dryly.
With that, Jungkook throws another one, giving you a cheeky grin when it lands in the bin successfully for the second time.
Pursing your lips, you sarcastically say, âWow. Two points to Xavier from Jeon Jungkook.â
That makes Jungkook look at you instantly.
âHow the hell do you know that?â He gives you a look of confusion but thereâs amusement written all over his face at the same time.
âWell⊠Mingyu told me you both played for the basketball varsity team back in undergrad, so,â
Jungkook stops. Thereâs look of something in his eyes that you canât quite point out, but then suddenly, he nods.
âHe told you how good I was?â He says with a teasing tone, a contrast to his sudden and quick drop of mood a few seconds ago.
You throw him a tissue. âDonât be cocky. He just mentioned it.â
âI was captain. Two-time MOP, 2018 and 2019 NCAA Menâs Basketball Tournament.â
You look at him with silent reverence. Well, Mingyu didnât tell you all that, thatâs for sure. Itâs a bit surreal to picture Jungkook wearing a basketball uniform, though. Youâre so used to seeing him in scrubs and lab gown and his usual casual, occasionally suits when you attend formal conferences. Youâve only ever seen him sweat it out whenever he works out in the living room.
âImpressive.â You say. Jungkook grins proudly. âItâs strange I only know about it now, though.â
âYou never asked.â He shrugs. âWhat âbout you? I only know youâre little miss summa cum laude.â
Huffing, you jab at his arm when he mentions it, rolling your eyes at him which only earns you a chuckle. Regardless, you tell him, â2018 NCA College Nationals. We won Coed Division One.â
Jungkook arches a brow. âNCA⊠National Cheerleading Association?â You nod, eating from your take-out box so as to avoid Jungkookâs look after you do so.
âNo fucking way,â He says incredulously. âSeriously?â
âYeah,â You bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling too much. You never really get to share this part about you with a lot of people. To quote Jungkook, they never ask. Itâs funny when they do get surprised by it though, like he is now. When Jungkook stares at you â you donât know if itâs just in disbelief â longer than necessary, you realize heâs staring at your face and that makes you consciously fix a strand of hair behind your ear. âGo big blue, go big blue, show âem what wildcats can do.â You sing a in fast tempo, chuckling about how silly it sounds.
Jungkook utters a sound of amusement. âThatâs⊠wow. Right now, Iâm just picturing you cheering but itâs a bit hazy and shit.â
âYouâre saying you canât picture me cheering?â You playfully accuse, but you know exactly what he meant. Even you still donât believe that you actually did cheer in undergrad. When you signed up for it, it was just because you had to choose a club, and you werenât interested in anything other than that. You thought cheering would be fun and it was fun.
âNo, Iâm justââ Jungkook cuts himself off and looks at you. âOkay, now I totally deserve a cheer for that two-point shot I made just now.â
You laugh loudly at that. Covering your mouth, you look at him to see if heâs joking but he seems to be serious.
âNo.â You say, your eyes widening, body stiffening.
âCome on,â Jungkook chuckles.
You roll your eyes. âYou have to do more than a two-point shot to get a cheer.â
âOkay, what do you want me to do?â Jungkook eagerly presents a challange. You stifle a laugh when he gears up for something. âI can shoot dumplings further from here with my left hand.â
âTen feet away,â You muse, giggling when Jungkook suddenly gets off the counter, carrying the box of dumplings, and positions himself further away from you. Laughing, you shake your head before you say, âYou canât do it.â
âTry me.â He says as he begins to pick out a dumpling and concentrate on the trash can. Before he shoots, he tells you, âThis oneâs for you.â
You watch as the dumpling misses the bin.
Jungkook beats you to speaking first. âI admit. Iâm a bit rusty.â
Sneering, you eat your fried rice, not straying your eyes from him. âYou have to shoot, like, three dumplings.â
âThat was a trial shot.â he insists, eyeing you playfully, before he gears up for another again. You watch closely when he makes a move to shoot another dumpling.
It goes in. Jungkook smirks at you when you look at him, impressed.
âNot bad.â You cock your head to the side.
âTss.â He shoots another shot again and itâs successful for the second time. âThatâs two.â Jungkook shows you his fingers and you chuckle at his enthusiasm.
âLetâs see if you can get the third.â
Jungkook nods, and you cover a snicker again at the way his stance suddenly turns serious, as if heâs really taking the whole thing seriously.
In a few seconds, he shoots the last dumpling straight to the bin just as successfully as the last time.
âWhat did I say?â Jungkook brags as he goes over to the island across from you, sitting on the high chairs this time. You turn your body to look at him, containing your smile. âYour turn now.â Jungkook says with a smirk.
Your purse your lips. âIâm a bit rusty.â
âSo was I!â Jungkook claims which prompts a chuckle from you.
You look at him for a while, unsure. You close your eyes, bobbing your head side to side, covering your face as you suddenly feel a sense of embarrassment at the thought of dancing in front of him.
âPromise you wonât laugh?â You say after Jungkook tries to remove your hands off your face.
He raises his right hand and fixes his sitting posture upright. âPromise.â
âIf you show your teeth Iâll stop and so will this friendship.â You threaten as you bring your legs over the island to his direction.
Jungkook chuckles while saying a series of âYeahâs, holding your hand to help you hop off the counter safely.
You take a few quick strides to place yourself in the space between your counter and dining area and look at Jungkook who settles himself comfortably in the kitchen island chair, watching you with relaxed position and crossed arms.
Feeling uncharacteristically shy, you stand upright, suddenly aware that youâre only wearing a pair of panty shorts and a fitted camisole. You donât work out so youâre a bit conscious in front of Jungkook who looks really good in his natural form. You donât even understand how he finds time to go to the gym or do his little work-out sesh during some nights or weekends, but you shake away the thought and smile at him coyly. He has the better body, sure, but you know well enough heâll never judge you for yours⊠besides, itâs just Jungkook. He makes you feel safe and secure, no matter the context of the situation.
Off the top of your head, you do whatever it is you remember from your college routines and begin your yell.
âWildcats, get up and shout! Weâre the team thatâs gonna take it out! Give it all youâve got, letâs hear you roar!â You chuckle mid-way, forgetting a step. âSorry,â you apologize quickly, but then continue right away, trapping your bottom lip with your teeth to prevent yourself from completely losing it. âWeâre the Wildcats, and weâre here to score! Go Big Blue! Go Big Blueâ" You make a mistake again and skip a beat with your finger snaps, and when you look at Jungkook, you canât help but give in to the laughter thatâs been bubbling up inside you. âI canât do it!â You say, cutting your âperformanceâ short.
âWhat? It was good!â Jungkook says, encouraging you to continue further.
You stifle a laugh as you go back to the top again but then your mind forgets the next step and youâre messing up the choreography again. At that point, you start mindlessly cheering; jumping around and flapping your arms to make it look like somewhat of a cheer but none of the coordination. You know it looks messy, so you run over to Jungkook shamefully, plopping on the chair beside him. Bringing your legs up to the seat and covering your face in your thighs, you canât help but giggle in embarrassment.
âWoah,â Jungkook says, but you can say thereâs a hint of laughter in his tone. You know itâs not out of mockery when he lifts your head up and boop your nose. âThat was cute. Best cheer Iâve ever seen.â
âYouâre pushing it.â You hiss, kicking his knee slightly.
Jungkook captures your leg, and you squeal when he pinches your thigh. You both laugh at that and you thought Jungkookâs gonna let go of your leg but he keeps it on his lap.
âMy stomach hurts from laughing.â You tell him, taking a deep breath, trying to regulate your heart. Everything feels funny. Your cheer was funny. You mustâve looked so stupid.
Jungkook chuckles. âWildcats, get up and shoutââ
âJungkook!â You cut him off, removing your leg from his lap to kick him again on the thigh this time. That only prompts him to laugh louder.
When the high of the moment fades, Jungkook looks over at you.
âDo you feel sleepy?â
You shake your head. âNot really. At least not yet.â
He hums, and then takes your box of fried rice to eat from it.
Thereâs the silence again, but itâs quiet and comfortable. No weird tension sitting in the air.
âJungkook,â You call him after a while.
âHm.â
You clear your throat. âI meant to talk to you,â Jungkook stops eating and looks at you to acknowledge you. âIâm sorry.â
He stares at you for a moment. Then, he chuckles, shaking his head. âYou know whatâs funny? I was gonna talk to you yesterday to say Iâm sorry but then you didnât talk to me at all in the OR. I thought you were still mad at me.â
With furrowed brows, you tell him, âI thought you were mad at me. You only said âscalpelâ in the OR and then that was it. No hiâs or helloâs in the hallways for the past three days.â
âMe? Mad at you?â He says, as if he canât believe you would even think that. âI mean, you piss me off sometimes, but I donât think I was ever mad at you.â You pout. Jungkook smiles. âI can never be mad at you,â His look is gentle and warm that you feel a little flustered for a reason unknown. It just ticks a little something in your brain, tugging something at your heart. Then, Jungkook sighs. âIâm sorry, too. For the way I went about it. The âbringing boys hereâ comment was out of line.â
Thereâs a wince on your face when you hear that.
That comment did hurt a little.
But you know it was just a heat-in-the-moment type of thing, and he just wasnât able to think through his words well enough when he was⊠well, pissed â and rightfully so. Because you did something offensive to him, and you canât blame him for feeling the way he felt.
You nod at Jungkook. âThank you for saying that. Iâm saying sorry because I realized what you said. I shouldâve informed you I was bringing Mingyu home, and I shouldâve told him about you being my roommate. We really couldâve avoided that situation.â
âYou can just tell me beforehand if youâre bringing him to our place.â Jungkook shrugs.
You chuckle. âNo. That wonât happen again.â And itâs true. Itâs awkward and itâs rude when you have a roommate.
Jungkook looks at you. âOkay. I wonât do it as well,â You shake your head, playfully rolling your eyes at him. âIâm guessing you settled it pretty quickly with him?â He gestures at your neck and you realize heâs referring to the necklace youâre wearing â the one Mingyu gave you the very same day you fought.
You want to point out itâs not really new, but you settle with, âYeah. Fortunately.â as a response.
âI really am sorry for what happened.â Jungkook says and you can feel the sincerity in his voice.
âItâs fine,â Touching his arm, you give him a small smile. âHave you and Mingyu talked?â
Jungkook shakes his head. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you think about how thatâs⊠not good. They were friends before you and have just met each other again after so many years â you do not want to be that kind of person who gets in the way of some other peopleâs relationship.
And you really canât have Jungkook not liking your boyfriend or your boyfriend not liking Jungkook, either.
But as much as you want to suggest that they talk it out, you know you canât. Besides, you trust that they eventually will. Theyâre grown men.
âSoâŠâ you trail off. âAre we okay?â
Jungkookâs lips tilt upwards. âAre we okay?â
âCome on,â you roll your eyes. âDo we hug it out or like â I donât know â handshake on it?â
âLetâs hug it out like weâre twelve.â Jungkook grins and in a moment, he scoots closer to you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.
The angle is a bit awkward with Jungkook crouching too much you donât doubt his position is anything but comfortable, but it works, and it gives you the opportunity to pat his head as you say, âI missed hanging out with you, buddy.â
âCanât say the same thing.â
That earns him a slight pinch to the ear easily accessible to you.
âOw!â Jungkook says and then add, âI hate to ruin the moment but⊠youâre not wearing a bra.â
You quickly grab both sides of his head to get him off your chest. He comes back sitting upright on his chair, laughing.
âFuck offââ you flip him off and then look over your box of fried rice, but then you remember he was also eating it earlier. âYou ate all of it!â
âFinders keepers.â
âI hate you.â
âHm.â
You shake your head, standing up and starting to grab all the boxes to take them to the trash bin.
âBy the way, I just got my approval from HR for our trip the next two weeks. Have you?â You ask him across the room. You can see Jungkookâs face light up at the mention.
âYeah, of course. Got approved yesterday.â Jungkook grins. You watch as he stares at you a bit longer, his face showing a hint of confusion.
You arch a brow. âWhy does your face look like that?â Jungkook shakes his head, obviously ready to dismiss it. But youâre persistent. âWhat is it?â You say, walking towards his direction and stopping in front of him.
âNothingâŠâ he trails off. Then he rubs the back of his head. âI just really thought that youâŠâ You squint your eyes at him. Then he chuckles lightly and swipes his fingers through his hair. âI just thought the trip would be cancelled.â
Your eyebrows furrow. Frowning, you nudge at him. âWhat? Of course, not! We planned that trip like six months ago. Iâm not backing out.â
Jungkook gives you a shy smile.
âOkay.â
You canât help it. You bring your hands to his cheeks and pinch them.
âHeâs so excited for his birthday trip!â You say, intentionally talking like you would to a toddler.
Jungkook predictably forces your hands out of his skin and holds your wrist a bit tight as he rolls his eyes at you.
âKnock it off.â He glares at you. But youâre not done with your fun, so you poke your finger to his waist, knowing thatâs his weak spot, and tease him some more. âSeriously.â Jungkook huffs out and your laughter becomes louder because he looks like a grumpy child right now.
âSorry.â you say, still giggling. He furrows his brows, and you canât help it, you poke at his waist again. When you do it, though, Jungkook captures your wrist, effectively stopping another one of your juvenile assaults. Suddenly, you start noting the mirth in his eyes.
Youâve seen that look before and it always ends up with you almost dying from too much laughter because he alwaysâ
âYouâre gonna regret that.â
You let out a squeal as Jungkook takes ahold of your waist, and before you can even voice out a protest, he easily hoists you up against his body, bouncing you up until you're hanging around his shoulder like a sack bag.
âWhat the hell, put me down, you prick!â You complain, slapping the rugged muscles on his back. But Jungkook just responds with a series of clicks of his tongue, carrying you across the living room.
You know heâs about to put you on the couch to tickle you to death, so you do what you could and bite down on the skin of his back.
âOuch!â Jungkook immediately reacts, stumbling a little in his stride. You snort at that, but you immediately frown when you feel a slap to your ass.
âYou asshole!â
âYou just lowered your chances of being spared,â Was his last words before you feel yourself getting put down on the surface of the sofa. Soon after, Jungkookâs poking his fingers to your waist and stomach, prompting you to erupt in fits of giggles and laughter, thrashing beneath him like a caged animal.
âPlâstopâoh my god!â You say, weakly reaching for his arms. When Jungkook doesnât relent, you continue wriggling under him, laughing and choking, saying a variety of, âStop! Iâm ââ giggle, âgonnaââ then another snort, ââdie!â
Jungkook chuckles. He torments you some more before finally stopping his fingers in their ministrations.
âYou deserve that.â Jungkook says when you both came down from the high, laughing at the messy state of your hair and the way you try to catch your breath like you just ran a triathlon.
You breathe in and out deeply, clutching your stomach that still hurts from laughing.
âFuck you.â You hiss, giving him the finger.
Jungkook bursts into laughter, and from his position in between your legs, he lets himself fall on top of you.
âJungkook, no!â Pushing him off you, you try to get away from him but the goof just forces himself beside you instead, sticking his much bigger build in between you and the back of the couch. It makes you scoot near the edge as a result, and you hold onto his arm so that you donât fall off, tangling your leg against his own for added support. Pinching his waist in which he lets out an ingenuine âOwe!â to, you face him as you say, âYou are so annoying.â
Jungkook just gives you a shit-eating grin. âWho started it?â
âYou almost killed me.â You say dryly.
âDonât be dramatic.â He rolls his eyes.
Suddenly, you realize the position you are both in.
Your bare legs are intermingled against each other, Jungkook has one arm wrapped around your waist, and from the lack of clothes on both sides, you can feel pretty much everything.
Thereâs a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach upon the epiphany.
Jungkookâs looking at you with a playful grin, but as he notices you staring at him, he stills. From such close proximity, you can almost trace out the lines of his features. The scar on his cheek, the mole under his lip, and the pimple scar that was probably from a week ago. At that thought, you think about: if you can see him so close like this, he can also probably see you, and thatâs when you break away from the contact.
âShit.â You hiss as you let yourself fall off the floor by rolling around, away from his hold and touch and him in general.
Jungkook immediately scoots to the edge of the sofa to look down at you with confused eyes. âThe hell?â
âDonât worry,â you wave your hand at him.
He snorts. âDid you just fall?â
You roll your eyes. Of course, heâd think that. But you let him, standing up from the floor.
âYeah, yeah, whatever you say.â
You hear Jungkookâs boisterous laughter as you walk towards the kitchen again, stopping in front of the fridge to get some water.
âYouâre going to bed now?â Asks Jungkook, following you to the fridge and mirroring your activity.
Nodding at his question, you peer from the rim of the glass as you answer, âYeah, I donât want to be sleeping at the hospital later.â
âFair.â
Soon after, you both decided to clean up a bit in the kitchen and when you finished, you two headed towards the direction of your bedrooms. Itâs located just near the kitchen, with the doors located beside each other.
When you turn the knob open to your own door, Jungkook calls you, catching your attention.
You arch a brow at him, waiting.
âGood night,â Jungkook says. You drop your kitted brows and smile. Youâre about to greet him the same but then he adds, âAlsoâ that was a really great cheer.â
âUgh, Jungkook!â
You look across the bed to see Mingyu still on his laptop on his worktable, working on something. An hour and thirty minutes have passed since you arrived at his place, but youâre still not getting the least bit of attention from him.
You get it, itâs work, but he asked you to come over⊠isnât it only fair to expect a little bit of something?
Getting up from the bed, you trudge over to his direction.
âHi,â you say, ducking down to wrap your arms around his neck from the back of his swivel chair and kissing the spot below his ear.
âHi,â Mingyu meets the kiss you give him on the lips. He reaches for your hands resting on top of chest and holds it there, looking at you. You delight at the hint of attention. âIâll just be in a few minutes. Youâre staying, right?â
You grin. âOf course.â
âGood.â
Rolling your eyes, you take your hands off him and stand upright once again. Mingyu rotates his chair so he can look at you with his undivided attention, voicing out a low whistle when he takes in your outfit â or lack of it thereof.
You arch a brow, knowing well heâs ogling you only in your bra and panties, squinting your eyes at him. Slowly, you glide your leg over his waist and plop yourself down on his lap, waiting for any protest from him. It doesnât come, and so you give him a grin before planting your lips against his.
The kiss turns heated in a matter of seconds, with Mingyu squeezing over your bra and taking in your soft moans against his mouth, feeling the delicious roll of your hips against his crotch where you feel a semi growing already. Â
âSweetheart,â Mingyu grunts. When you donât answer that, he cups your jaw, making you look at him. â__.â
âWhat?â You say, more like a whine, looking at him with hooded eyes. Youâre starting to feel sticky in your underwear and you need him to do something about it.
âNot now, sweetheart. I told you, Iâm working.â
You frown. Thereâs a beat of silence before you let out a sigh. âOkay.â You say, getting off his lap.
âIâll take care of you when Iâm done.â He promises, taking ahold of your wrist, looking up at you.
Pursing your lips, you look away. âItâs fine.â When Mingyu lets go, you look at the direction of the bathroom. âIâm gonna take a shower,â you tell him. âYouâre free to join me if you want or whatever.â
You know he canât and that he wonât.
âAlright.â Was the last thing you heard before you walked towards the bathroom door.
Youâve been over at his place too many times to count now, and youâre slowly building your shower essentials in his own bathroom. Your body wash, your face cream, your shampoo, your conditioner â even your moisturizer and your eye mask are already placed inside his bathroom cabinet.
As you step out of the shower box, all clean and fresh, you go over to the lavatory to brush your teeth. At the sight of both your cups sitting beside each other, you smile.
You look in the mirror â noting the way your lips canât stop from curling up at the thoughts running inside your head.
Shaking them off, you grab Mingyuâs robe and put it over yourself, turning the knob around to step out of the bathroom.
You see Mingyu on his bed this time around, but his laptopâs still perched on his lap.
He looks up when he sees you. âReady to sleep?â
You nod, feeling at home the way you automatically go towards his closet to pick out a shirt and some panties you left over the time.
As youâre in the process of dressing yourself, a phoneâs ding rings in the room.
Looking at Mingyu, you watch as he checks his phone, assuming it came from him. When he puts it down, he looks at your plugged phone on the bedside table.
âWhat is it?â You ask, now properly dressed, walking to the bed.
You note the way Mingyuâs gaze changes as he hands you your phone.
âItâs Jungkook.â He says with a weirdly clipped tone. Then another ding comes. A beat, and then your phone rings.
Your brow shoots up, taking the device from him and checking it yourself.
Jungkookâs face is plastered over your screen â a picture of him wasted in his room two years ago, taken from your Thailand trip with the rest of your friends. Heâs sleeping with his mouth open, shirtless in the middle of the hut, only covered up with his trunks. You remember setting it as his contact photo because it was funny back then. Jungkook hates the photo, and your friends always made fun of him for it.
Right now, though, it doesnât feel the least bit funny. Not when Mingyuâs certainly saw it. Not when he looks a little put off as soon as he sees a glimpse of it when he was passing your phone to you.
âIâll just answer this.â You say, standing from the bed again.
You donât expect Mingyu to suddenly shoot you a question, âYou canât answer here?â
Brows knitting together, you give him an uncertain look. âItâs just Jungkook.â
âYeah⊠so, why not here?â
You relent, seeing the point heâs trying to make. Plopping yourself on the bed again, you answer Jungkookâs call and put the phone over your ear.
âJungkook,â
â__,â he sighs out your name, sounding relieved. âThank fuck.â
âWhatâs wrong?â You ask, growing a bit concerned at his tone.
You can hear some shuffling from the other line as Jungkook tells you, âDid you see me with my pager in the locker room earlier?â
âOh, uh⊠let me thinkâŠâ you trail off, trying to remember the events earlier. As you do that, you notice Mingyuâs fingers trailing his hands to your bare legs, but you ignore it as you answer Jungkook, âI think I didnât, yeah. I didnât.â Jungkook hisses. âDid you check your car?â you ask, trying to help out.
âAlready did. Itâs not in there, either. I really think I accidentally threw it out in the bin along with some trash in my pockets.â He says, sounding a little distressed now.
âWell⊠you can always just go to the operator, you know? Get a new pager?â you offer. Thereâs a drop of kiss on your shoulder that makes you shudder, and you look at Mingyu with furrowed brows. He doesnât say anything, though, just let his fingers trail upwards, his hand sliding under your shirt, gripping your thigh. Your boyfriend just gives you a sly smile, and you squint your eyes at him, confused at what heâs playing at.Â
âI know. But, ugh, you know I lost two pagers already this year. Sungkyun hates me at this pointââ
Jungkookâs answer suddenly drowns out when Mingyu grazes his thumb on your clothed clit.
âOh.â
ââwhat?â Jungkook halts, asking about your abrupt reaction.
You bite your lip in an effort to shut yourself up, and when Mingyuâs hand makes another move again, your free hand shoots up to stop him.
âHold on a second, Jungkook,â you say, quickly pressing mute.
Mingyu looks at you with a smirk, playful smile painting his face. âYou know you can continue, right?â
At that, your brows furrow even further.
âWhat are you doing?â You didnât mean to sound curt but with the way Mingyuâs expression changes, it may have sounded that way.
You⊠couldnât help it.
âI wanted to touch you,â Mingyu tells you after a beat of awkward silence. Then, his hand retreats to himself. âDo you not want to?â
Thereâs guilt that springs up inside you when you see the look on his face as he says those words.
âNo, Iâm sorryâ itâs just⊠I want to. I just⊠not with somebody on the phone?â You put it out like a question, unsure of yourself.
The room is quiet for awhile and suddenly thereâs a thick tension that hangs in the air.
You reach out for Mingyu but then drop your hand to your sides when he moves to sit on the edge of the bed.
He turns his head to you with an unreadable expression on his face. âIs it because itâs Jungkook?â
You frown at his tone.
It sounded accusatory.
âExcuse me?â You say, taking immediate offense. When Mingyu shrugs, you feel a bit of annoyance bubble up inside you. âI wouldâve still stopped you if it was anybody else on the phone, Mingyu.â you say, tone firm and leveled.
âIâm sorry, then.â
But he definitely doesnât sound like it. His sarcasm makes you snap. âWhatâs up with you?â
Mingyu opens his mouth to say something but then he closes it again. You watch him with confused eyes, completely at loss of context where heâs at. The night was going fine as usual and suddenly, thereâs this.
After a few seconds, Mingyu sighs. âWhat are you even talking about right now?â He glances at your phone.
âItâsââ you take a glance at it too. âItâs just his pager.â
âPager?â
âYes.â
âHe asks you about his pager in the middle of the night, knowing full well youâre with me?â
âIââ you stop yourself, words suddenly getting lost in your tongue. Not because you donât know the answer to his question, but because you hate the way he phrased it â and honestly, youâre starting to feel icky about how heâs going with it. What was he trying to do? Pin you down with accusatory notions?
You donât fucking get it. Jungkookâs his friend. Itâs so bizarre to even think about how Mingyu is seemingly acting jealous over his supposed friend.
âYou know what?â You say instead, not wanting to discuss it further with him anymore. Itâs just gonna lead to an unnecessary fight â and frankly, you donât want to deal with his jealousy. It seems so⊠futile. âCan we just sleep this whole thing off?â
Mingyu looks at you and for the first time, his eyes donât look gentle. He looks at you with a bit of a frown, and you get it. You do. Youâre not exactly happy, either. Not right now, with the way heâs acting.
âDo you want me to go?â You ask, ready to step out of bed.
âI didnât tell you to.â Mingyu says, voice equally strained.
You sigh. âWhat do you want me to do, Mingyu? Are you jealous, is that it?â You meant it to be completely rhetorical, not at all expecting him to say anything.
But he answers instantly. âWhat if I say I am?â
Your lips part. Youâre surprised at the confirmation, but you shake your thoughts off it.
âThen itâs completely unnecessary,â you tell him, as genuine as you can sound. When Mingyu doesnât move in his position on the edge of the bed, you crawl towards him. Testing the waters, you touch his arm to see if he would avoid your touch, but when you do rest your hand on his shoulder, he doesnât stray. âI like you, Gyu.â
Cocking your head to the side, you watch as his face still sports a cold expression. But he says, âI like you too, you know that,â
âButâŠ?â you try to get out the words from him, because you knew thereâs more.
âI donât want you to think Iâm being irrational about this whole thing,â he starts, and you nod your head, trying to show him that you get it. Mingyu licks his lips before he continues, âI just⊠I guess I just want you to put boundaries around your friendship with Jeon.â
That makes you stop. Nevermind the strange way he called Jungkook by his surname.
âHow do you mean by that?â You ask with furrowed brows.
âYouâre just really close with him. And you live in one apartment together.â He points out.
âMingyuâŠâ you say, suddenly feeling tired all over again. âI thought we already talked about that.â
âDoesnât mean Iâm a hundred percent comfortable with it, you know?â
It feels like you got electrocuted by his words the way you quickly retreat your hands. âThatâsâŠâ you trail off, not really knowing what to say.
Thankfully, though, Mingyu interjects before you can slip into a dilemma.
âI know, I know about why youâre living with him and all that stuff. We talked about it. Itâs justâŠâ he reaches for your hand. Entangling your fingers together, Mingyu brings your knuckles to his lips and presses a kiss there. âI want you all the time. And I guess I really am just jealous â even though itâs juvenile. Iâm jealous that heâs known you far longer than me.â
âButâ Iâm here thrice a week. I make time for the both of us. And it doesnât really matter how long youâve known me for, Gyu,â you respond truthfully.
He nods.
âIâm sorry.â
You shake your head. âNo, Iâm sorry. I guess I justâ I got in way over my head that I also forgot to take your feelings into account,â
Mingyu smiles, and there goes his soft gentle expression again.
âI know. Itâs fine. You donât have anything to be sorry about. Itâs me whoâs being unreasonable.â
âNo, itâs not unreasonable,â you tell him. âI get it. Boundaries, Mingyu. I know what youâre talking about.â
Mingyu scooches closer and presses a sweet kiss to your lips. You gladly bask in it, smiling against his lips, keeping your gentle gaze towards him as he breaks away.
âIâm sorry for being a bummer.â
You kiss him again and the way he inserts his tongue in your mouth distracts you a bit but you manage to break the contact. Soon, heâs lying down beside you and when you check your phone, your call with Jungkook has already ended, but there are two messages from him on your notifications.
[12:35am] jaykayđ€ : are you still alive [12:38am] jaykayđ€ : ok nevermind iâll hang the call i actually found my pager just now đ [12:38am] jaykayđ€ : it was in the kitchen counter LOL [12:45am] jaykayđ€ : ok bye. night
You were going to reply but decide against it for some reason.
Putting your phone down to the bedside table, you follow Mingyu under the sheets and as usual, you face against his direction just like he does.
Unfortunately, he doesnât really like cuddling that much. Heâd share his space to a certain extent, just like how you got into his bed in the first place, but not the lengths of cuddling together in bed. Mingyu didnât tell you why â and you donât want to come off as clingy, so you donât bother asking.
Itâs strange, though. Now that he told you a while ago that he, apparently, âwants you all the timeâ. Shouldnât he like to cuddle you in bed, then? But you donât want to dwell in it too much, afraid that you may be digging yourself a hole if you were to keep it up.
As you lay your cheek on your folded hands, you play back the events of the night and think about how youâve seen this film before.
When you were in med school, Eunwoo always had something to say about your friendship with Jungkook. He wasnât direct with it, but with the way he never bothered to make friends with Jungkook or always had a grimace on his face when you mentioned him in passing, it was enough for you to conclude that Eunwoo was always⊠wary of Jungkook â and definitely in a jealous type of way.
He said almost the exact same thing as Mingyu â that boundaries should be built; that Jungkook and you are too close, why is he calling you in the middle of the night to ask about mundane things, why does he know too much about your motherâs preferences, and why is he buddy-buddy with your dad who otherwise always had an uninterested expression on his face?
It wasnât even just Mingyu. Your past flings for the past four years youâve been single always got put off when they heard that youâre rooming with a guy â even more so when you mention that heâs your bestfriend.
Youâre not stupid to not see how it looks like from the outside perspective â and youâre not dense to not ever consider the possibility of something romantic brewing within the friendship. You have thought about it before â had an instant crush on him the first time you met at the law library back in post grad school. But it was fleeting at best, especially when Eunwoo came into your life a few weeks later.
Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung have also hinted at it. Sometimes â most of the time, really, teasing you two, especially Taehyung. Even the most mature one among your friends â Yoongi â once told you both to get married at forty. He was joking, though he looked way too serious for someone who was just supposed to be joking.
And there was that one dreadful time in third year of med school when Jungkook almost kissed you.
You buried that memory in the very depths of your mind â not ever wanting to revisit it again. It was a bad time, and it was just not a good thing to look back at. Jungkook acted irresponsible, and you stupidly let yourself be complicit in it, even though you knew better.
Nothing even happened â but that memory was just that. A mere memory. You doubt Jungkook even remembers that himself.
Hereâs the thing: youâve just never seen Jungkook past the person you consider as a friend. Youâve never been weird about the women he dated â or if he dated, at all. Heâs also always been supportive of your relationships⊠as far as youâre concerned. Regardless of what everybody says, you both seem to agree that youâre just better off as friends. You work better that way.
Jungkookâs a good guy, though. He does have tons of flings â but heâs just conventionally attractive and works hard for a body that is to die for. Women like that. Additionally, he has a stable job and even though he annoys you about splitting the delivery fee when you do take-out, heâs actually quite rich â or, his family is â heâd always insist.
You get it though. As a co-resident, you both donât really make that much (for the work that you do) â at least not yet.
But he was indeed born in generational wealth, coming from a family of doctors, which is why itâs quite impressive that he knows how to handle his life by his own hard work. His intelligence and perseverance are some of the things you admire about him, his drive to make a name for himself and never leeching off his familyâs name. Jungkook doesnât ever brag about how his neurosurgeon dad is one of the best in the country and how his mom is a legend in cardiac surgery â even though sometimes, he could use it a little. Heâs playful yet charming; quiet when youâre just knowing him, but heâll eventually talk a lot when you get close.
As a friend, heâs quite the best youâve ever had.
And even though you donât really see him past that, you know in your heart that whoever ends up with him romantically will be a very lucky person.
âYouâre a pussy.â
âDoyeon.â
Doyeon huffs, rolling her eyes so hard at Taehyungâs reprimand and then goes back to glaring at Jungkook again who just looks at her with a pathetic expression.
âWhat? Iâm right. Heâs a pussy and youâre an even bigger pussy for defending him being a pussy.â She says, furrowing her eyebrows angrily.
âWhy are we talking about pussies?â
Nayeon suddenly enters the on-call room and Jungkook nearly has a heart attack.
âWhat the hell, you should at least knock. Jesus.â Jungkook says, clutching his chest, looking at Nayeon with an almost offended expression who closes the door behind her.
âWere you scared it was __? See!â Doyeon sighs out in frustration. âSuch a fucking pussy.â
âSuch a fucking pussy,â Jungkook mocks, using a higher pitch to imitate Doyeon poorly.
âAnd a child too.â She rolls her eyes and throws him a pillow. It misses Jungkook and hits Taehyung instead.
âSeriously, what are you so mad about today? You have that mood. Did you and your secret boyfriend fight?â Taehyung spits out.
Everybody stills in the room when Doyeon gives him a sharp glare. That pretty much makes everyone shut up, especially Taehyung who makes a show of physically zipping his mouth.
Nayeon fakes a cough and trudges towards Jungkook sitting on one of the beds. She throws her heavy hands on his shoulders, more like slaps, and then looks at Doyeon as she asks, âWhat are we calling this man a pussy for?â
âOh, ask him. Or his dumber best friend.â Doyeon rolls his eyes and looks at Taehyung, crossing her arms and leaning her back on the chair sheâs sitting on from across the room.
âYouâre starting to hurt my feelings and I hate you.â Taehyung says from the other bed.
âWhy?â Nayeon ignores their banter and furrows her brows at Jungkook curiously.
Jungkook hisses under his breath. âItâs nothing. She calls me a pussy for literally everything.â
Doyeon butts in. âYeah, are you gonna cry?â
âIf __ was here, sheâs gonna be on my side, you know that?â Jungkook rebuts.
âIf __ was here, youâd be panicking because sheâll know about your little secret.â
âOof.â Taehyung comments.
âOh, JungkookieâŠâ Nayeon looks down at him with worried eyes. When he looks up with a sad look, she starts rubbing his shoulders as some sort of comfort, already knowing about what this might be about. âThis is about⊠the thing?â
He nods weakly. âYes. And no. Uh, well, this is⊠you know about the birthday trip in the next five days, right? So, she asked me if she could bring, uh, Mingyu along.â
âOh.â Nayeon utters, looking at Doyeon for confirmation.
Doyeon nods, and then nags, âAsk him what he said.â
Nayeon looks at him. âWhat did you say?â
âI said yes.â
âOh.â
Jungkook looks down in slight shame at Nayeonâs reaction. She completely stops her handsâ ministrations on his shoulder, indicating that even she could not believe what he just did.
This makes Jungkook even feel worse.
Leaning his elbow on his thighs, he runs his fingers through his hair as he says, âI mean, how could I have said no? I wouldâve looked like an asshole. Besides, Mingyu and I are college friends. Thereâs no reason for me to prohibit him from this trip. Like, at all.â
âYeah, you and Mingyu are college friends but, ultimately, itâs our trip, right? __ wouldâve understood if you said no.â Doyeon says, still not over her justification from a while ago.
âI know, I know. But still⊠I didnât want to say no to her.â Jungkook tells Doyeon, not having a lot to say more than that.
Itâs the plain truth, anyway. He truly, simply does not want to say no to you. Not ever.
âBut JungkookâŠâ Nayeon interrupts. âWould it be okay for you? We know how you feel about the whole â er â Mingyu thing. Can you really take them being close together? Especially on a trip for your birthday?â
Though Nayeonâs voice is soft and her gaze gentle, her words hit him like a ton of bricks.
Truthfully, he doesnât know what to feel about the whole thing. You dating Mingyu is one thing, but you bringing him along on your trips is another. It means that heâs it.
That youâre getting serious.
He hates himself for hating the idea. Jungkookâs always wanted to be nothing but supportive of you. Heâd done it perfectly well with Eunwoo before, and your flings in the past four years have never upgraded past to being solely flings so he never worried about them, but now with Mingyu⊠itâs hard to pretend like itâs not killing him when you talk about how much you like him.
You have that lovestruck look on your face when Mingyu comes up in a conversation. For the first time in a while, you look genuinely happy. Jungkook always thought that your feelings for Eunwoo still lingered over the past few years â and how could it not, when you were literally engaged to him for a year? You told him one time that he may have been your greatest love⊠and he fears that it might be the same with Mingyu.
Where does that exactly leave him?
âWhat I think doesnât really matter. And itâs just for week.â he murmurs, but the others hear it anyway.
âAn excruciating week, you mean.â Doyeon says. She stands up from her chair. âYou know what, Iâm over this whole thing. Iâve witnessed you pine over her for whole eight years â and Iâm just â Iâm moving on from this. And I have a surgery. Iâm going out.â
Jungkook grimaces when Doyeon heads towards the door.
âDoyeon, donât be mean to Jungkook. Heâs trying his best, you know? The timing is just not right andââ
âWhat timing?â
As soon as Doyeon twisted the doorknob, pulling the door open to completely head out, you came barging in, cutting off Nayeonâs words.
Her eyes widen a little at your sudden arrival. And Jungkook scrambles to think of an effort to swerve the subject, but Taehyung beats him to it.
â__, heyyy,â he prolongs the word quite unnaturally, chuckling at the end of it for no reason. Jungkook internally notes to tell him later never dare try to save anything ever again.
That makes you furrow your brows in confusion. Directing your look to Doyeon who stopped on her tracks, you ask her instead, âWhatâs going on? What about Jungkook trying his best?â
Doyeon looks at Jungkook and then you. You wait, but then she just rolls her eyes â just completely done about the whole thing. Like she said earlier.
âHeâs trying his best not to be a pussy â well, allegedly.â At that, she goes out of the room, ignoring your calls to pull her back in.
âUh⊠I think I have a surgery in twenty. See you guys around. Gotta scrub in.â Taehyung jumps from the other bed and Jungkook makes sure to extend his leg forward so that the older guy trips on it as he walks. âWhat the fuck, man.â Taehyung looks at him, offense written all over his face.
Jungkook gives him a glare. Taehyung chooses to ignore it rather than prolong it and walks past you at the door.
âBye, fuckers.â
âDonât call me a fucker!â Nayeon chimes in but Taehyungâs already out of the room.
âHey, seriously! What was that?â You head towards the bed where Jungkook and Nayeon are, situating yourself on the far end of the bed to lean on the frame. You take off your sneakers in one swift move and lay your feet on Jungkookâs lap.
âItâs nothing. You know how Doyeon always bullies meâŠâ Jungkook says, ignoring the tingling sensation that starts to creep up his spine at the way you casually initiate physical contact.
He needs to get a grip. You most probably donât really mean anything by it.
âShe does not bully you.â Nayeon rolls her eyes beside him.
âYou probably deserve it.â you say, pulling out and eating some strawberry yogurt.
Nayeon laughs at your remark, but then itâs cut short when a pager suddenly beeps. Instantly, all of you take out your own and check if it was yours.
âAlright, thatâs my call.â
âBye. Good luck.â You say, offering your cup to Nayeon, but she only shakes her head. Meanwhile, Jungkook gives her a pair of thumbs up.
When Nayeon leaves the room, you nudge Jungkook with your foot.
âHey,â
Jungkook looks at you with a brow raised.
âCan you rub my foot? Please rub my foot.â You say, making the best rendition of puppy face, extending your sock-cladded foot in his direction.
He scoffs. âDo you think Iâm a pushover?â
You gasp dramatically. âI do not! I think youâre a cool person whoâd totally give me foot rubs.â
âUnfortunately, Iâm not a cool person who would give you foot rubs.â
You groan. âI gave you a massage weeks ago.â
âThat was, like, two months ago.â Jungkook says drily.
âIt counts because you didnât do anything to repay me for my kindness.â
âOh, you need your kindness paid back?â Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
You pout at him and then whine. âPlease, just three minutes, I swear. Iâll even put up a timer.â
Indeed, Jungkook is a pushover. Pushover to your cute pout and every request. Again, he could just not find it in himself to say no to you. Not even in his wildest dreams.
But itâs never not fun to tease you before he relents. âFine. Two minutes.â He says, pretending to begrudge the thought of giving you a foot massage, even though inside, heâs quite thrilled to be doing so.
It would be a lie to say that it isnât one of his favorite past times in the quiet evenings of your apartment. Jungkook loves the weight of your leg on his lap, loves the way you thank him in between groans, and loves that he just gets to be close to you in almost such an intimate way.
âYour feet stink.â Jungkook decides to tease, scrunching his nose, feigning disgust.
âDonât lie. Also, your feet stink even more, donât try me.â
âMy feet do not stink.â
âLetâs just agree to disagree,â You grin. âIâm starting a timer.â You say, grabbing your phone, pressing some stuff on it before you put it on the mattress.
âLet me see, for all I know, you set it to five instead of three.â
You look at him with widen eyes, stiffening.
âItâs three minutes.â
âYour nostrils are flaring, youâre lying.â
You groan. âPlease. Dinner is on me later.â
That obviously catches Jungkookâs attention.
âYouâre staying at home for the night?â
You look at him weird. âYeah, of course. Whatâs with that face?â
Jungkook shakes his head, hides a small smile as he looks down to your feet on his lap and takes a hold of one. He takes off your sock for you and begins massaging the tendons of your foot, noting the way you immediately lean back and relax.
âNothing. I just thought youâd be staying at Mingyuâs again.â
âAh,â you nod your head. When Mingyu's name is mentioned, you visibly frown. Itâs the kind of face that you make when youâre deep in thought. âI was supposed to. But I donât know⊠we fought this morning.â
Jungkook raises a brow. âYou wanna talk about it?â
You shrug. âNot really. Itâs a weird argument. I donât know.â
He wants so badly to poke around and find out⊠but somehow, thereâs something in him that tells him not to bother.
Anyway, youâre going home tonight so thatâs all that matters. Jungkook begins to think about what to eat for dinner⊠heâd love to cook something, nevermind that heâs tired from his overnight shift yesterday. He also only got around four total hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, and that was not even consecutive hours â just the sum. That is why he was in the on-call rooms, until Taehyung suddenly barged in, followed by Doyeon, Nayeon, and then you.
âOhâ there, thatâs so good, Jungkook,â you say after a particularly hard press against the ball of your heel.
Jungkook knows better than to let his mind wander upon hearing that from you. Heâs massaging you, of course that was gonna be the natural reaction.
Itâs also quite pathetic to be even thinking about it in the first place â considering that your mind might most likely be weighed by yours and Mingyuâs argument â your boyfriend.
âHey, about what I said a few days ago,â you started to speak again, breaking the momentary silence. Jungkook hums to acknowledge you. âI know you said yes to me bringing Mingyu along, but, uh, Iâm not sure if he still plans to.â
âAh,â Jungkook nods. Was the argument that bad? âOkay.â
âYeah. He has to fly over to Arizona for something that week. Told me he may be able to arrive and join us on the second day, which is the exact date of your birthday, but honestly, Iâm not sure. His sched changes a lot.â
Deep down, Jungkook wishes Mingyu just opts out of joining in altogether.
But he doesnât have to tell you that.
âThatâs a shame.â he comments, not really meaning it. He massages your other foot with ginger hands, which has you letting out soft sighs again. Jungkook buries them in the back of his head, lest his mind goes to territories that are absolutely humiliating.
âI knowâŠâ you trail off. You look like you have more to say as well, but then the door to the room opens. Again.
âForgot my pager.â Doyeon announces, crossing the room with quick steps to reach for the forgotten thing she left on the table.
When Doyeonâs gaze falls back to the both of you, she raises a brow, and then her eyes direct their way towards Jungkookâs hands on your foot.
Youâre about to say something when Doyeon rolls his eyes at Jungkook. Then, without giving you the opportunity to speak, she heads out of the room quickly, leaving Jungkook to look in another direction in quiet shame.
âWhat was that?â You comment, confused at what just happened.
âEh, sheâs in a sour mood today. Itâs regular Doyeon.â Shrugs Jungkook, trying to swerve the subject.
You pout. âAre you two fighting again for real?â
Jungkook chuckles. âNo, itâs not serious. You know how Doyeon and I get.â
You squint your eyes, but say nothing nonetheless.
Meanwhile, Jungkook hisses internally.
Jungkook gets Doyeon. You all have been friends since freshman year of med school â the founder of your study group â and she was also the first one to find out about Jungkookâs little crush. He didnât even have to say it explicitly, she just knew. Eventually, Jungkook told Taehyung. He has quite a big mouth, unfortunately, so when you started your internship at the hospital â he lets it slip in a conversation with Nayeon who was just becoming your friend that time â leading the situation to where it is right now.
Out of all of them, though, Doyeon got it pretty hard. Sheâs witnessed the early stages of Jungkookâs infatuation towards you in the first semester of med school, had to keep quiet during study sessions. She was even supportive that time, telling Jungkook to just go for it â but then Eunwoo happened, and the confession never saw the light of day.
When they broke up, Doyeon became hopeful again, just as Jungkook was. But you were showing no signs of moving on and Jungkook had no choice but to step back for a bit.
The past two years, though, Doyeon became more insistent, telling him youâre single and itâs the fattest chance Jungkook can ever get.
But sheâs right, after all. Jungkookâs a pussy. He hides his feelings well â a pro at the sport, really, at this point.
When Mingyu happened a few months ago, Doyeonâs just over it. She told Jungkook one time in a drinking session that the ship has sunk and heâs going to be in his sixties regretting not ever confessing to you. Sometimes, he wakes up at night in sweat from a nightmare that involved Doyeon murdering him because of his emotional constipation.
Jungkook knows she just wants the best for him â even though sheâs more on showing him tough love instead of a gentle one. Doyeonâs always been like that, but sheâs a good friend. When things went haywire, she was there to genuinely sympathize with him and console him â together with Taehyung and some of his other friends.
But in Jungkookâs defense, Doyeon just also doesnât get it.
Itâs so easy to just say fuck it and make a confession already, so easy to think about how things could turn positively â but sheâs not â theyâre not â in Jungkookâs shoes. They will never be.
So many things could go wrong if he ever were to listen to his heart. Sure, heâs had the chance over the past four years â most would say that. But itâs not a chance when youâve spent half of it moving on from Eunwoo. Itâs not a chance when you spent the other half trying to go on dates and fail â each one making you more miserable about your love life, as you told him so many nights ago in those rare special moments in the balcony of your apartment.
Those four years you were single was never a chance â not when you never showed any bit of interest.
Itâs the reality that his friends always somehow miss when encouraging him to confess his feelings.
Youâre friends for almost a decade now â eight years to be exact â but not once did you ever hint at wanting to be in a relationship with him. Your reaction to that always involved a disgusted expression and a variation of âNo way!â. Might be a joke just to tease him â but also might be rooted in something genuine deep down.
Jungkook likes to think that physically, he doesnât look so bad. Heâs nice when he wants to be, especially towards people he cares about. Heâs a resident surgeon who makes enough. Could be funny, charming⊠whatever.
Most of all, he likes to think he could deserve you one of these days. That he could be the man that youâre searching for.
But itâs been eight years and youâve never once looked at him like how he surely does at you.
God knows how many times Jungkook has tried to move on â how many sleepless nights he has trying to erase the feeling of so much longing for you. Sometimes, it works, when heâs on his casual dates and hook-up with all those women that thankfully fancied him enough. He momentarily forgets about your laugh and your hair and the crinkles on the sides of your eyes when you smile and your soft hands and your gentle voice â but it cracks when the sex is done and heâs staring at the blank ceiling of his dateâs apartment, hating himself for yet again seeing your picture in his memory when heâs buried in somebody else, wishing it was you instead.
It hurts so badly. Especially when you seem to look at everybody else except him. You wanted to weed out someone for you â meanwhile, heâs just right under your nose, and yet you donât see him. Itâs at this point, when you have Mingyu as your boyfriend now, that Jungkook is starting to realize that you donât see him not because you canât, but because you choose not to.
Regardless, he knows you love him. Knows you care about him on a deeper level. Would probably sacrifice a bit of your time to tend to him if he needs it. But itâs the kind of love thatâs not comparable to the one he has for you. Jungkookâs feelings encompass every single kind of love a human could have for another being â but you only have one kind for him. The platonic kind.
And even though itâs painful to face the reality of that very idea, Jungkook thinks that maybe⊠just maybe⊠Mingyuâs actually it.
Mingyu wasnât exactly a saint the last time Jungkook saw him, but people change and the way you seem so genuinely happy these days tells Jungkook that maybe Mingyuâs another version of himself now â the better one who will never hurt you or make you cry.
Maybe this is what loveâs all about. Youâre content with seeing them happy, even if itâs not with you.
Jungkook thinks that as he steals a glance at you looking at your phone â most probably playing that landlord game on your phone youâve been obsessed with the past few weeks â and youâre so beautiful like this. Even when youâre probably running on limited hours of sleep just like him.
Your hair is put up in that tulip hairclip you have a lot of, stray hairs framing some parts of your face. But he sees your features just fine â notes the way they are structured so perfectly it truly awes him that men and women didnât beg for your attention whenever you went out in public.
Because he would. He did. He does. He always teases you for the purpose of your reaction⊠because Jungkook likes it when you pay attention to him. So much that it kills him to think that maybe, that attention will die soon as you and Mingyu get closer as another week passes by.
The timer that goes off on your phone snaps Jungkook out of his thoughts, and you look at him with widened eyes.
âDonât stââ
âItâs my turn now,â Jungkook cuts you off and gently places your legs on the mattress, bringing his own on the soft surface as well.
You jut your bottom lip out â and Jungkook feels himself wanting to give in.
âFive minutes is so quick.â You say, but nonetheless takes his shin to your lap.
Jungkook tries hard to sway the butterflies in his stomach at your touch.
âFavor for a favor, remember?â He teases, lifting one of his foot to your direction.
You pretend to gag. âI hate you.â
Jungkook laughs, quite boisterously. Because he knows you donât mean it. I hate you basically just means I love you but youâre annoying me right now in your own little dictionary â and he always gets giddy whenever you tell him that â as weird as it may sound.
But Jungkook likes this, though.
Sure, it would be so fucking great if he could just confess and lay out his cards all at once, but the chances of you not taking it well is too big â and even though Jungkookâs usually a risk taker, he couldnât ever risk you all over his dead body.
He can keep his hurt to himself over you feeling anything but romantic towards him â because if he confesses and you donât feel the same way, he knows damn well that heâll lose you completely.
And the thought makes him shudder.
That probably catches your sight, so you ask him about it.
Jungkook tells you itâs the AC.
[ DAY 1 | August 31st, 11:04am ]
The beating sun feels uncomfortable on Jungkookâs skin, but thereâs no way heâs wasting a day like this holed up in the villa he and his friends chipped in to rent. It costed you all a shit ton of money â might as well enjoy every waking day he gets to spend here.
Itâs why he decides to goad Taehyung and Nayeon into coming with him along the shore where sun loungers are lined up to accommodate the few visitors who were also at the resort. He tried to convince Doyeon, but she goes straight to sleep as soon as the rooms were assigned.
He gets it â you all did travel by plane instead of car (because that would've taken you twelve hours) and Doyeon gets airsick whenever she rides in a plane. Jungkook also tried to talk you into it, but you said you were just going to lounge about by the pool at the villa and follow after a while.
Your âafter awhileâ takes about thirty minutes, and Jungkook thinks youâre missing all the fun, especially when Nayeon and Taehyung are starting to strip off their clothes to submerge themselves in the ocean.
With his loaded watergun, he goes straight back to the villa, and it doesnât take much time to spot you by the terrace, lying down on a sun lounger with your big hat and sunglasses on, a book opened in your hands.
Unsuspecting, you let out a sudden squeal when Jungkook presses the trigger of the toy in his grip, a spring of water meeting your bare legs. Jungkook obviously tries hard to ignore that youâre wearing a flimsy pair of white bikinis. He saw you pack it two days ago⊠and he remembers taking too long to move on from the image heâs conjured up in his head upon seeing it.
âJungkook!â
He chuckles at your reaction, poorly hiding the watergun behind him. âWhat?â
âIâll kill you.â You seethe, your body coming forward to sit upright, hastily taking your sunnies off so he can see the cute glare on your face.
âWhat are you going to do? I have this,â He points to his weapon. âAre you challenging me into a hand-to-hand combat?â Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrow.
You groan. Then, you lay back on the lounger again, opening your book, deciding to ignore him.
Jungkook canât have that, of course. So, he walks closer to your direction, stopping beside you, effectively blocking the sun and in turn, dimming the light source of your book.
âYouâre blocking my sun.â You say, looking up at him.
âYouâll get all the sun you want if you haul your ass off to the shore. Come on, weâre all swimming in there,â he tries to convince you, nudging your thigh with his knee.
You give him a pout. You sound whiny when you say, âBut itâs too hot.â
âThatâs why weâll get in the water.â
âDonât be sassy.â You roll your eyes. âI meant the water would be way too hot.â
âItâs not, Nayeon said so.â
You glance at the pool across from you. âWhy canât we all just swim in here?â
Jungkook deadpans. âBecause this is a five-foot pool and absolutely no one will enjoy it.â
You frown at him, quietly telling Jungkook heâs right.
âUgh,â you groan. âBut Iâll have to reapply SPF firstâŠâ You grab the bottle of lotion thatâs just placed on the small table on the side of the lounger. Then you look at him with squinted eyes, âDid you wear sunscreen?â
Jungkook rolls his eyes but nonetheless says yes, knowing how you always nag him about it whenever you guys are at the beach. Itâs not even just him. Itâs also with your other friends.
He watches as you rub lotion over your body, but when you get to the back, you look up at him and extend the bottle towards his way.
âCan you help me with this, please?â You say.
Jungkook automatically takes the bottle but it takes him a full five seconds to understand what youâre getting at.
Youâre asking him to put sunscreen on your back. Youâre very naked back that sports nothing but the tiny strings of your bikini holding your chest.
Of course, you donât notice his dilemma. Twisting in your seat so that your back faces him, you gather your hair to the side, obviously waiting for him to do your request.
But Jungkookâs distracted behind your back. Heâs distracted at how smooth it looks under the scorching sun and how easy it would be to paint it with something other than the natural color of your skin.
Itâs not even the first time heâll do this â youâve been to trips before and putting on sunscreen over your friend is about as natural as it gets like how he would do it as well to Taehyung or even Doyeon or Nayeon if they ask to.
But it doesnât mean it doesnât affect him one bit when it comes to you.
Needless to say, his mind is pre-occupied as he sits down behind you where you left some space for him to sit, squirting the lotion into the palms of his hands, gingerly spreading it over your back once he got it.
âBe sure to cover everything,â you say, obviously not aware about Jungkookâs mental crisis behind your back.
He thinks itâs worth the crisis over though, as youâre so soft under his touch. Jungkook kneads the span of your back, squeezes your waist lightly to even out the cream, and makes sure to put it over your shoulders as well. When his hands fall, he hesitates.
âShould I â uhââ
âYeah, just go under the strings.â You tell him before he can even finish.
Thereâs a lump in his throat that he swallows before he goes under the strings of your bikini top, his heart doing funny somersaults against his ribcage as he spreads the lotion over your skin. It guilts him to no end that his mind thinks about how heâs just inches away from your breasts.
He retreats his hand right away. âDone.â
You turn back to him. âThanks. You want me to do yours?â
âSure.â
Jungkook sits on the edge of the lounger and lets his back turn to you. He hears the cap of the lotion bottle being opened again and soon your hands are lathering the cream over the expanse of his back.
Itâs embarrassing the way he lets himself savor the seconds of your every touch. Embarrassing the way his mind zeroes in on the way your soft hands caress the tendons of his back muscles. He thinks about the weight, how good this feels; your hands on him. Suddenly, thereâs a zap of electricity that goes through his spine, and then he feels it.
The twitch in his dick and the blood that he feels rushing to it.
âOkay, youâre done.â You say, tapping his back twice so he can turn to you.
It snaps him out of his thoughts, but his dick is thinking about something else and as he subtly looks down, thereâs already a growing semi on the crotch of his trunk shorts.
Jungkook curses himself internally, shutting his eyes close in slight frustration.
Fucking uncooperative dick.
He stands up from the chair when you nudge his back with your foot, thinking that heâd see you coming along in a few seconds. But you donât, and as he turns his heel to look at you, youâre back in your cozy lying position on the lounger, with your book opened, just like how he saw you when he came in a while ago.
Jungkook parts his lips in disbelief, but also finding the whole thing funny.
âYou minx.â He muses, playfully squinting his eyes at you upon realizing the trick you just pulled.
âEnjoy the beach, Jungkook. Send my regards to Taehyung and Nayeon.â You say, giving him a taunting flying kiss. âAnd thank you for reapplying my sunscreen.â
Jungkook chuckles at your remark, and just like that, he forgets about his stubborn dick, and goes over back to you, blocking your sun once again.
âYouâre blocking my sun againâ Jungkook!â
Itâs predictable the way you hurl a series of creative curses at him as Jungkook forcefully picks you up from the chair, knocking your hat and your book on the ground as he hoists you against his shoulder, carrying you upside down like a sack of potatoes.
âJungkook, I swear to god!â You squeal, repeatedly slapping his back as he walks to the direction of the shore, but Jungkookâs nothing but a solid muscle, firm over his hold on the back of your legs.
âBe quiet.â He says, chuckling at your sounds of opposition.
âI hate you, youâre such a prick, ugh!â
He picks up his walking pace and you scream again when you see the ocean water from your view.
Jungkook chuckles as you continue to plant your fists on his back, and when the water reaches his knees, he throws you in it.
âFuck. You!â You say, glaring at Jungkook in the middle of his uncontrollable laughter.
âCome on, Taehyung and Nayeon are over there,â he points to the deeper part of the ocean a few feet from where you are, and when you turn your head, you see Taehyung and Nayeon with their floaties.
âUghâŠâ Jungkook hears you groan before you follow behind him. When Jungkook looks back, he sees you paddling around the water like some puppy, and he snickers to himself. That earns him a splash on his way, with you rolling your eyes at him.
âJungkook! __!â Yells Nayeon over their direction, waving her hand around. Taehyung and her are perched on the big floatie they fought over with at the villa earlier.
âJungkook,â calls you behind him.
Youâre starting to cross the deeper part of the ocean and itâs within Jungkookâs chest now. Meanwhile, your friends are still about a few feet away, so the level would definitely be on his neck by the time. Youâre considerably tall, but Jungkookâs still half a head taller than you, so when he looks back at you, the waterâs already reached your shoulders.
âThis is way too deep!â You complain.
âDonât be a pussy, __!â Comments Taehyung from afar.
âFuck off,â you murmur and then beckons Jungkook to you. âHelp me a bit here.â
Jungkook shakes his head, chuckling as he moves a few steps back to get to your direction.
âYou big baby, you never learned how to swim, have you?â He teases, playfully clicking his tongue.
âWhat for?â You say when he gets near.
Jungkook feels pleased with himself about you asking for his help to cross the deeper part of the ocean, but heâs met with surprise when you heavily plant your palms on his shoulders, causing him to be out of balance and tripping over his feet under the water.
It causes a misstep and he nearly chokes as he comes back up for air again only to see you laughing your ass off. Nayeon and Taehyung are also laughing along, even from afar, and Jungkook wipes the back of his hand over his eyes to see clearly.
âThatâs for throwing me in the water earlier,â you say in between your snickers and Jungkookâs just about to say something back when you suddenly wrap your hands around his neck from the back, your legs locking around his waist. âCarry me to the floatie, pretty please,â you say against his cheek in a sing-song voice.
With that, Jungkook feels your whole entire body against his back, your breasts pressing against his skin. He ignores the way the physical contact makes his body tingle, and he hopes you donât notice his blush when he raises his arms to hold the back of your legs.
âOnly because youâre annoying.â He pretends to sound annoyed, but the laugh that comes out of you at the remark makes him smile anyway.
[ DAY 1 | August 31st, 11:35pm ]
Your daytime activities at the beach included jetskiing â one that knocked Taehyung off the water way too many times that he just gave up halfway through it. When Doyeon woke up a little later in the afternoon, all of you decided to get food from the dining hall and ate your hearts out at the buffet.
The day ended with all of you back in your assigned rooms again. Since you rented a two-bedroom villa, Jungkookâs rooming with Taehyung in the secondary bedroom while Nayeon, Doyeon, and you are all inside the primary one since itâs bigger.
Itâs past thirty minutes to eleven in the night when somebody knocks on Jungkookâs shared bedroom with Taehyung. When Jungkook looks at him from across the room, heâs knocked out on the sofa, soft snores coming out from his mouth. Him and Jungkook decided to take turns with the bed itself throughout the whole vacation. Thereâs an extra cushion Taehyung couldâve laid on the floor, but he was way too tired to set it up and to even care â looks like he doesnât really need it, though, since he looks so peaceful in his position.
Grumbling, Jungkook gets out from the sheets, scratching his bare chest and rubbing the back of his head as he walks over to the door to open it.
When he does, heâs welcomed by the sight of you in your big grey hoodie and some shorts.
âWear something.â You say as soon as you take in his appearance.
Jungkookâs habit of going to sleep with only his boxers knows no bounds. Even when itâs below 20 degrees Celsius outside, he always opts out of his pajamas, choosing to go bare in his sheets instead. In his defense for now, the duvet is thick and it provided him with enough protection against the cold of the AC and the summer night.
âWhat are you doing here?â He says as he trudges back inside the room to wear a pair of sweatpants hanging from the chair.
âRude.â You comment, following him in the room. You look at Taehyungâs passed out state in the couch. âHeâs going to wake up in the evening tomorrow and miss your birthday.â
That makes Jungkook smirk, remembering Taehyungâs high energy in the morning.
âNo consequences. Itâs vacation week.â Jungkook raises his eyebrows. âSeriously, what brought you here? Itâs almost midnight.â
You sit on the edge of the bed. Thatâs when Jungkook notices the black plastic youâre carrying in your hand. âItâs not that late. Letâs head out for a bit.â
He raises a brow, confused. âWhere to?â
âYouâre going to find out. Wear a jacket, itâs a bit cold outside.â You say as you stand up from the bed again, heading for the door.
Jungkookâs confusion just grows with passing seconds. Nonetheless, he canât say heâs not intrigued.
Unsure, he goes for his small luggage and takes out the only hoodie he packed. Itâs grey as well, matching the one you have on. Jungkook tries to shake that thought off his head as you both quietly head out of the room.
Itâs late into the night and when you head out of the villa, thereâs not many people hanging along the shore anymore.
âFollow me,â you tell him, and Jungkook does.
It may have been his drowsiness that kept him quiet throughout the whole walk â just quietly following along with you, your rented villa no longer in his line of sight. Jungkook couldnât exactly pinpoint where you currently are, but this side of the beach is a bit rocky, and much, much colder. He feels it even through the thick material of his hoodie.
âWeâre here.â You announce, a proud lilt to your voice. Jungkook bumps with your back when you suddenly stop on your tracks. It prompts a chuckle from you, turning back to him so Jungkook sees the crinkles on the sides of your eyes as you do so.
It makes his lips curl. âWhatâs this?â He curiously asks, looking around.
Your grin grows wider. âWeâre gonna take those stairs and itâs gonna lead us to some pretty view.â Jungkook looks to the direction you pointed at, seeing the stairs you just referred to. Still unsure, he glances back at you. You laugh. âYou remember when Doyeon and I went out for a walk earlier for a bit? We found this place.â
Jungkook nods. âI see. Thought for a second there you found a place to dispose my body at.â
You snort as you take Jungkookâs wrist to hold on to as you climb to the stairs.
âI wonât do it as such a public place.â
âSo, you really are thinking about it in the first place.â Jungkook nods his head, guiding your back up the jagged stairs. You manage to get to the smoother surface and Jungkookâs quick to follow you towards the straight path of the narrow walkway.
âItâs my favorite past time, really.â You look back at him cheekily, a playful grin painting your lips. Jungkook scoffs.
The hallway is colonnaded with some flags, and thereâs an edge where the concrete stops, the ocean water splashing against the big rocks beneath the broken bridge.
You set aside the black plastic youâve been carrying around and Jungkook realizes theyâre Smirnoffs. Sitting on the concrete, you let your feet hang on the edge.
âHey, be careful,â Jungkook comments as he sees you do that. This part of the ocean isnât necessarily far â where you were earlier when you were swimming was far deeper, but still, it could be dangerous if you make a mistake. Jungkook wonders what the designers of the beach thought about when they made this plan.
âCome on, donât be fussy. Sit here with me.â You say, patting the space beside you.
Jungkook follows, of course, and you scoot to the side a little to give him more room.
âItâs nice, right,â You look at him, cocking your head to the side.
Jungkook feels the breeze of cool wind passing, and itâs a bit strong that it moves his fringes and yours as well. You put your hair up as usual in that big metal clip you always wear, but some strands of your hair escape and they frame your face.
With your big hoodie on and smile, Jungkook thinks you look extra cozy. He may have been hot and bothered by your bikini ensemble earlier, but now heâs bothered for another reason. He canât stop thinking about cuddling you under the night sky full of stars at the very moment.
âFeels good.â Jungkook comments. He plants his palms on the hard surface of the concrete behind him, leaning back as he looks to your side. âYou wanted to drink here?â
âOh, yeah,â You say, twisting your body a little to pick up the plastic cellophane. You take out two bottles of Smirnoffs and offer one to him which he gladly takes. Taking a bottle opener out, youâre about to open your drinks when Jungkook offers to do it for the both of you. You donât protest, just let him do his thing, smiling when he hands you your Smirnoff.
âThis is really nice.â Jungkook sighs after he takes the first sip, looking straight ahead to the mountainous view in front of you.
You hum, seemingly enjoying the moment as well. Jungkook takes a quick glance at your side profile and then quickly looks back ahead when he feels you do the same.
âWhyâd you bring me here?â He asks.
âNothing. I couldnât sleep, and I thought I could bring you here. So.â You shrug.
Jungkook nods.
âIâm turning thirty-one tomorrow. Or, in an hour, actually.â He says, automatically looking at his wrist but then realizing he took off his watch and left it at the bedside table. He didnât take his phone with him either.
âI know. Youâre so old now.â You tell him with a teasing tone in your words.
âFuck off,â he snorts. âIâm only a year older than you.â
âHmm⊠still old. Imagine, you turn fifty, I would still be forty-nine.â
Jungkook laughs at that.
âWhatever makes you sleep at night, babe.â He lets the pet name slip, and he did not mean to. It just rolled off his tongue for some reason. Quite easily, too.
You donât seem to care â or even notice â as you chuckle.
Thereâs a comfortable silence that hangs in the air again when Jungkook decides to break it.
âHey, I really appreciate you for coming along. You and the gang, really. This is a really good trip so far.â
You give him a smile as you look at him. Itâs one of those pretty ones that are a bit small but thereâs a certain shine to your eyes and Jungkook just really loves looking at you with a smile on your face. Youâre so pretty, he thinks heâs so lucky to even get the chance to look at you.
âYou know we all need this trip, right? I think itâs all our first time vacationing in two years.â
He nods, chuckling to himself. Itâs true. The last time was the Thailand trip and it felt like eons ago. Being a resident surgeon means less free time for leisure â and so you always make sure to spend your days off wisely. Even this trip took a lot of pre-planning to be possible just so all of your schedules would match.
âItâs crazy, thoughâŠâ you say suddenly.
Jungkook cocks a brow at you. âWhatâs crazy?â
âThat weâve known each other for like â what? Eight years?â
Eight years and four months to be exact. Jungkookâs not keeping count â he just will never forget the exact moment he met you for the very first time.
Itâs truly one of his core memories â knowing you. He remembers having to pass by the law library to meet Jimin â one of his closest friends who was studying law at the same grad school as him at the time. They were planning to eat out for lunch, but then he saw a woman at the individual study areas with a reading material thatâs familiar with his. Netterâs Atlas of Human Anatomy. You wore that maroon hairclip you loved so much during first year (Jungkook remembers you losing it in the second semester and how he bought you another one in your birthday), and when you looked up from your book for awhile, taking a break from taking notes on your iPad, that was when Jungkook saw your face and he nearly falls over back then.
Itâs common knowledge among your mutual friends and acquaintances that youâre pretty. Itâs the first thing that Jungkook noticed about you, the reason why he harbored an instant crush. That pretty much turned into⊠well â something deeper as the years passed by and he got to know you more than just your beautiful physical appearance.
He found it strange at the time to find somebody who was obviously a med student studying at the law library, but he soon found out it was because you didnât like studying at the med lib, said you felt too much pressure being among your fellow med students. Jungkook understood that in a spiritual level, and so when you became friends, you studied a lot at the law lib, until you met Doyeon and she formed a study group. It wasnât long before Taehyung joined the equation.
Looking back at it, Jungkook thinks itâs surreal. How knowing you led to him knowing more people that would soon be important in his life up until the age of thirty-one.
âAlmost a decade.â He says, canât help but smile at the thought.
âRight? It feels so surreal sometimes that we all knew each other at, like, twenty-three and twenty two. And now weâre in our thirties.â
âWhen you put it like thatâŠâ Jungkook trails off, laughing at how young you actually were eight years ago.
âYeah, I know!â You giggle. You look ahead, then you laugh again to yourself. Jungkook looks at you in confusion, giving you a questioning look at your sudden burst of laughter. Looking at him, you shake your head, âThis is a bit of a TMI, but I was twenty-two when I entered med school, so I just lost my virginity three years ago. You know whatâs funny? Iâve always thought I would lose my virginity, at like, thirty. Or twenty-seven. But that was even way too early for me.â
Jungkook almost splutters at the way you casually bring it up. He takes the bottle of Smirnoff away from him and looks at you with a chuckle. âLosing your virginity at nineteen is common.â
âWell, did you? Lose yours at nineteen?â You arch a brow.
âNope.â Jungkook shakes his head, tipping his head back to drink again.
âYounger?â You ask again.
Jungkook chuckles at your curiosity. Much to your surprise, he shakes his head again. âNah. Junior year. I just turned twenty-one. Lost it with my first girlfriend.â
Your lips part and Jungkook meets your shocked stare, brow cocked upwards.
âYouâre fucking with me.â
âWhat? No, Iâm not.â He laughs. He gets your surprise, though. Taehyung couldnât believe it either when it came up in a random conversation.
You still look incredulous as you say, âYou mean, like you never dated until junior year of undergrad?â
Jungkook shakes his head once again. âYes, and noâŠ? I mean, I had a⊠sort of girlfriend? Back in highschool, yeah, but it was more of like a mutual crush thing rather than an official relationship. But yeah, never dated and never had sex âtil I found my first girlfriend in third year.â
You look at him suspiciously still, and Jungkook canât help but laugh even more at your reaction.
âI really donât believe you.â
âWhatâs so surprising about that?â Jungkook knows the answer, though. He sleeps around, and you know that. Itâs probably why you canât believe heâs only started having sex until third year of college.
Youâre quiet for a bit.
âSo⊠you and that girlfriend broke up, and thenâŠâ you trail off, letting him finish the pieces.
Jungkook chuckles, recalling some memories that he thought were already hidden well at the back of his head.
Jiyeon. Her name was Park Jiyeon, his first girlfriend. He was the one who ended things â and not because he didnât have feelings for her. It was the other way around.
âYeah,â Jungkook fills in. âDidnât date seriously after that.â
âUh⊠was it a bad break-up?â You say, and thereâs hesitance in your voice. When Jungkook looks at you, you open your mouth to take your question back, probably, but Jungkook just gives you a warm smile.
âYeah. It was bad. But I donât really think about it now.â
You nod. âI see.â You say, looking ahead at the ocean again. âYou dated⊠quite seriously again in our last year of med school, though.â
âSora?â
âYeah.â
Jungkook nods, remembering the only one-year relationship he had. Min Sora was a fashion magazine director at the time. Jungkook liked her as she did, but they had too many differences that lead to too many arguments. Sora ended things before the relationship dragged out. Jungkook was grateful for it. Theyâre casual as of now⊠good friends, maybe?
âI always wondered why she broke up with you.â You say quietly.
Jungkook doesnât expect that. âYou wondered about that?â
âYeah. I mean, you seemed like you were both really into each other, so I just thought⊠you know,â you shrug.
âAh. That,â Jungkook looks afar, recalling the day when she ended things with him. It had been because of the stress that the last year of med school brought â he likes to think that. But it was also during the time when Eunwoo proposed to you and what he thought was feelings forgotten for you came back resurfacing and Sora just⊠figured him out. She told him he loved you, and sheâs got no spare time to compete with that. Denying it at the time was futile â Sora was smart. A wise, independent woman. She ended the relationship herself before she got deeply hurt. Jungkook has always felt sorry about how things turned out. No, he doesnât regret the break-up â just regrets the way he hurt her â unintentionally â even though she didnât show it. âJust didnât work out, I guess.â
You nod again.
Silence sits in the air.
It feels a little strange to talk about these things now. Itâs not that you both never share these aspects about your lives to each other, but itâs the first time you ask him about Sora. He never really bothered to share, though, for the record.
From his periphery, he sees you taking your phone out from your pocket, then gasping.
Jungkook immediately looks at you to see whatâs wrong. You show him your phone and he notes nothing of significance first before you say, âItâs 12:01 am. Itâs September first!â
âOh.â
âHappy birthday, Kook.â You say, smiling at him, and itâs an underestimation for Jungkook to say he nearly gets blinded by it. You look so gorgeous in your happy smile, so genuine, so warm, so cozy in your big grey hoodie.
Jungkook wants so bad to plant his lips on yours right then and there, but he reminds himself that he canât do that. He reminds himself that youâre taken. That you like somebody else. The somebody else arriving tomorrow, as per your words earlier this day when he asked about Mingyu.
Still, it doesnât stop Jungkook from mirroring your smile.
âThank you.â
âAnd, before I forget,â you stuff your hands in the pocket of your hoodie and Jungkook watches as you take out a small rectangular box. As he pays you a glance, youâre a little bit shy, not looking straight into his eyes as you say, âUh. I saw this somewhere, and I thought youâd like it.â
You extend your hand to him and Jungkook lets go of his beer to take the velvety green box from you.
He feels jittery as he takes it in, caresses the ribbon first before opening it altogether.
Whatâs inside surprises him.
âIt didnât cost much so donât throw it away,â you say, uncharacteristically defensive. Jungkook canât see your expression, but he bets your thoughts are going haywire as it takes him awhile to say anything about your gift. You always get nervous when it comes to gifts. â... and anyway, itâs not even my real gift. My real gift is a hairdryer, so Iâm sure youâre gonna like that better. But itâs cute, right? You can hang it in your keyholder or somethingââ
â__,â Jungkook cuts you off, his eyes still on the keyring laying on the box. âYouâre giving this to me?â
âY-yeah. Itâs⊠uh⊠cute, right? I thought it was cute.â You say, and when Jungkook looks at you, he sees the adorable way your brows furrow.
He chuckles, looking at the keyring again. Itâs a silver Claddagh.
âDo you know what this means?â Jungkook asks.
âThe what?â
Jungkook points to the Claddagh. âThis symbol.â
You look away as you say, âNo, not really. I just thought itâs a cool keychain. You told me you like keychains, but I donât ever see you with a keychain. So.â
With your nostrils flaring a little, he knows youâre lying. You definitely know what the Claddagh symbol means.
But instead of goading you about it, Jungkook takes the keyring out of the box and hangs it over his finger, admiring the item.
âThank you. This is really cute, and I love it.â Jungkook tells you, giving you a soft smile.
You stare at him and then cave into a smile of your own. âIâm glad you do.â
Jungkook looks at the Claddagh again and smiles heartily.
His heart aches with so much yearning and longing when you go back to the villa that night, spending about three minutes staring at the Claddagh you gifted him that he immediately hangs in his key holder. Jungkook thinks heâs going to transfer it to his work bag or the back of his rearview mirror, but his keyholder would do for now.
You love him alright, certainly not the way he does, but itâs enough for him.
[ DAY 2 | September 1st, 11:55pm ]
It was not a secret among Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung that Jungkookâs mood considerably plummeted down as soon as Mingyu called you early in the morning that heâd be landing in the afternoon.
Afternoon came, and he tried to suck it up like a grown man â and because as far as you know, theyâre both friends. And Mingyuâs your boyfriend. He should be nothing but supportive.
But it was especially hard when you gushed about being excited that he was finally here. Itâs been four months since you started seeing each other, two months since you officially dated, but somehow, Jungkook still could not process it.
He knows heâs being unfair. To you and to himself. But he couldnât help it. He couldnât help the feeling of ugly bitterness that sat in his heart as you told him about how Mingyu rented another villa so you both could room together, effectively taking you away from the rest of your friends.
Of course, you all spent his birthday together â doing tons of water activities in the ocean, eating at the dining hall, and roaming around for some more leisure time, but Jungkook could not help but think that ever since Mingyuâs arrived, youâve been sticking with him, even taking the time away from the gang to show your boyfriend around the resort.
Even at the villaâs porch where all of you took out your foldable chairs to drink outside, you were with Mingyu, perched on his lap, laughing at the jokes getting thrown around in the circle.
He tried not to look too much at how Mingyu comfortably wrapped one arm around your waist while the other held a drink, how you leaned into his touch, and how easily he blended with the group with his charm.
âWhereâd you get the ice cream?â Doyeon asked as Taehyung sat down on his chair with a small bowl of the sweet treat.
âFridge. Nayeon and I bought it earlier.â
âThereâs ice cream?â Mingyu asked, in which Taehyung nodded to. He turned to you. âDo you want it?â
Jungkookâs brows furrowed in confusion. â__âs lactose intolerant.â He noticed everybody suddenly looking at him. Feeling cornered, he drank from his beer to avoid their gazes.
Mingyu, obviously surprised by the declaration, glanced back at you. âBaby, you didnât tell me that?â
You winced. âItâs not really a big deal.â you waved him off and when you laugh.
âYeah, sheâs stubborn about it. She can inhale five cones in one sitting.â Taehyung said which made everybody laugh. Jungkook knew it was to lighten the mood. So, he laughed as well, even though from his periphery, he could see you giving him daggers through your eyes.
Jungkook doesnât know why you had to pretend it wasnât a big deal. Sure, Taehyungâs right about you not taking your lactose intolerance seriously sometimes, but youâve also gotten into a lot of trouble because of it, hence why youâve been making conscious efforts to not eat dairy.
The whole day leaves a sour impression on him with Mingyu around. Quite a shame, really, since he started his birthday so well with you taking him to the far-end of the beach to drink and give him a Claddagh.
When the night becomes much darker, Jungkook sits on the terrace near the pool all by himself. Everybodyâs fast asleep at this point. He doesnât know about you, though, âcause youâve probably transferred all your stuff to the other villa Mingyu rented around.
âHey,â
Jungkook looks at the embodied voice that suddenly calls. He sees itâs Doyeon.
âHey,â Jungkook smiles, taking the other bottle of beer on the coffee table and offering it to her.
She waves his hand. âNah, Iâve had enough for the whole day.â Doyeon situates herself on the folding chair next to Jungkook.
Jungkook nods, looking straight ahead to the pool. They sit in comfortable silence for a while until Doyeon speaks.
âHey, Iâm sorry for the last week,â
Jungkook glances at her with a small smile. âWhat for?â
âFor calling you a pussy. And just⊠being harsh. Had a tough week and your emotional constipation just pissed me off more. Youâre still a pussy, but I shouldnât have rubbed it off your face.â She says.
Jungkook stares at her with parted lips.
âWow. I donât know if thatâs an actual apology.â
âItâs an apology with a hundred percent realness, you know I donât baby anybody.â
âHah,â Jungkook scoffs, amused. âYeah. Well, youâre right, though. Todayâs beenâŠâ
Doyeon sighs. âItâs hard on you, right?â
Jungkook can only give her a meaningful smile.
âBut you donât exactly have the right to get jealous⊠sheâs not your girlfriend and you two are not anything,â Doyeon says, and it tugs at Jungkookâs heartstrings. Meanwhile, she looks ahead and continues to speak. âItâs hard when you have all these feelings for someone, but you have to hide it. You just want to show everybody they mean so much to you, but you canât. It sucks.â
Jungkook thinks sheâs still talking about his situation with you but then as he glances at her, she seems to be deep in thought. As if sheâs actually speaking from her own experience.
Heâs intrigued by that, of course.
âWoah, are you still talking about me?â
That seems to get Doyeon out of her trance.
She rolls his eyes. âWho else would I be talking about?â
Jungkook opens his mouth to say something. You guys have always had the theory that Doyeon has a secret boyfriend. Itâs silly at best but sometimes, he thinks itâs true. Doyeon has never been the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, though. Sheâs tough and sheâs frank a lot of times. But sheâs the kind of friend whoâd call you a bitch in your face but then would go to all the lengths to defend you from everybody.
âOkay.â Jungkook nods, dropping the subject.
âHas she told you yet?â Doyeon asks suddenly.
âWhat?â He mirrors back, knowing exactly who the she Doyeonâs referring to.
âSheâs planning to move in with him some of these days.â
âIâŠâ Jungkook stops, his mouth opening and closing like a fish in water. To say that heâs stunned is an understatement. Obviously, you havenât told him anything.
âYou donât know.â Doyeon says upon realization.
Jungkook shakes his head. âShe didnât tell me.â
Doyeon lets out a loud sigh. âItâs not really set in stone, though, thatâs what she said. But theyâre discussing it.â
âAh.â Jungkook nods and looks ahead at the pool. Another beat of silence, a sip of beer, and then he scoffs. âI really shouldâve confessed even way back then, huh?â He laughs but thereâs no humor in it.
Doyeon stares at him. âI didnât tell you about that so you can regret not telling your feelings for her earlier.â
âI didnâtââ
âI told you that so you can move on, Jungkook.â
Jungkook closes his mouth shut.
She looks away. âYou remember the time I liked you in med school?â
âDoyeonâŠâ Jungkookâs lips part, not at all expecting for her to bring that up. Itâs been so long ago and ever since⊠Doyeonâs confession, they never really talked about it again.
âOh my god, look at your face,â She laughs. âGod, do you think I still like you? I moved on the day after you rejected me.â
âI didnât reject you.â Jungkook defensively says.
She rolls her eyes. âI asked you if you were interested and you didnât say anything. You just looked at me like this,â Doyeon stiffens her body and widens her eyes in a comical rendition of Jungkookâs famous OJO face.
Jungkook canât help but scoff. âThat was the strangest confession that happened to me, though. You told me you liked me in the straightest face ever, I still think it was a cruel prank of some sort.â
Doyeon bursts into laughter, and Jungkook follows along, recalling that time.
âYeah⊠that was funny. But⊠it was real, not a prank at all. I donât remember why I liked you, though.â
Jungkook looks at her incredulously. âOkay, but thatâs actually the most hurtful thing youâve ever said to me.â
âDonât take it personally,â Doyeon rolls her eyes, but thereâs a smile on her lips still. âAnyway, I brought it up because that was the same day when I realized you like __. I mean, I had my suspicions, but I confirmed it around the time.â
Jungkook shakes his head. âWas really surprised when you told me that. I thought I hid it pretty well.â
âYeah, but not to me. You know, I donât even know how __ didnât figure it out herself. Youâd always follow her around and in our study sessions, you always stayed up late with her and was overly attentive. Whenever Taehyung asked you too much, you sort of like reached a point where you just told him to suck it up. But if it was __, you were so patient,â Doyeon giggles. âShe had a really hard time with Biochem. I remember you tutoring her all the time.â
âThat wasâŠâ Jungkook bows his head down, a bit embarrassed at being read like that. âShe cried a lot during first year.â
Doyeon purses her lips. âYeahâŠâ
Both stare ahead again, with nothing to say for a few more seconds. Jungkook continues to sip his bear while Doyeon quietly sits.
âI have this biased notion about Mingyu,â Doyeon speaks up. Jungkook looks at her she continues, âI keep on telling myself, heâs probably gonna fuck up anytime soon â and thatâs because deep inside, I still want you and __ together. You know Iâve always wanted you both to be together. Itâs hard to see __ struggling with her love life. She almost failed the internship when Eunwoo broke up with her, and I donât want her to go through that again as her friend. Itâs hard, because I canât do anything about it. I think of you, and how much you love her, and I think youâre good for her⊠but at the same time, I feel bad for thinking that. Because I can see that Mingyu makes her happy. Itâs different with the other guys she dated before him. Sheâs truly happy with him, and I find it hard to think that Mingyuâs gonna break her heart. He seems⊠nice⊠and that heâd be good for her, you know what I mean?â
Jungkookâs quiet, processing her words.
Doyeon sighs before she speaks again. âBut that hurts you in the process, doesnât it? Seeing her happy but not with you. Youâre both my friends and Iâm in the position where itâs hard for me to situate myself in a certain place. Because I want __ to be happy, but I also want you to be happy â but your happiness is interconnected and itâs⊠tricky. Itâs a tricky situation.â
Jungkook doesnât realize that heâs gripping the neck of the bottle quite tightly at Doyeonâs words, but he listens.
âI donât normally say things like this, Jungkook, but Iâm your friend so Iâm just gonna let this go,â Doyeon finally looks at him, and he meets her gaze. âIt hurts me to see you hurting like this. It hurts Taehyung and Nayeon as well, but they wonât say it. Just⊠just be⊠just be okay, please?â
Jungkook exhales a sharp, shaky breath.
He knows what Doyeon meant by that. Sheâs asking him to⊠find happiness on his own. Happiness that doesnât lie on __âs reciprocity because with the way things are going, thatâs impossible. Sheâs planning to move in with Mingyu, and most of all, she seems genuinely happy.
âI⊠I know. Thank you.â Jungkook says, not really knowing what to say.
Doyeon chuckles. âDo you want a hug?â
He looks at her with a smile. âI could use one right now, yeah.â
Doyeon laughs before standing up and going over to where Jungkook sits on his own sun chair. When she steps in front of him, Jungkook wraps his arms around her waist and lets himself rest the side of his head on her stomach, closing his eyes when Doyeon pats the crown of his head.
âBelated happy birthday, Jungkook.â
Jungkook chuckles. âThanks. Youâre unusually mushy today.â
Doyeon pinches his ear slightly which earns her a groan.
The two stay like that for a few more seconds when suddenly, Jungkook hears a familiar voice.
âOh, h-hey guys,â
Jungkook immediately looks ahead to see you standing from the other side of the terrace, looking at him and Doyeon. At that, Doyeon lets go of him, twisting her body to look in your direction. Jungkook retreats his arms back to his side and smiles to acknowledge you.
âI thought you were sleeping already.â He says.
âYeah, what brought you here?â Doyeon asks.
You approach them with unusually slow steps, as if reluctant. âLeft my wallet here. Just realized it a while ago,â you say. After that, you stop on your tracks. Your gaze falls between them with an unsure smile on your face. âYou two drinking?â
âNah, Jungkook is.â Doyeon says, pointing to the bottle of Smirnoffs on the small table beside Jungkookâs chair. Then, she looks under her own. âWhereâd you leave your wallet?â
âOver my chair earlier.â You give her a smile again. But somehow, it looks a bit awkward. A little forced. Jungkook knows you well enough to identify your smiles.
And as he looks at you longer, he realizes you have a certain color on your face, but itâs one of those expressions he canât read.
âWell,â you blurt out after a beat of silence. Looking around, you go over to where you were sitting earlier then duck. âI think I left it hereâŠâ you trail off. Jungkookâs just about to stand up to help as well when you suddenly pull up a brown leather, grinning at both of them. âYay.â
Jungkook chuckles. âThat wouldâve been the third wallet youâll lose this year.â
You mirror his laughter, and Doyeon joins in.
Thereâs another pause and then hesitantly, you ask, âDid I⊠uh⊠disturb something? OrâŠâ
âWhat?â Doyeon asks with furrowed brows. âNo,â
âAh, okay,â you smile at her and then insert your wallet in your shorts. âAnyway, Iâm heading back to Mingyu. The villa he rented is just at the back of ours, so⊠feel free to visit anytime or whatever.â
âSure.â Jungkook says. He didnât mean it to sound clipped and short but he must have unintentionally let the tone slip, as you and Doyeon immediately give him a look. He clears his throat. âI mean, of course. Tomorrow?â
You nod.
You look at him. And then, you point between him and Nayeon. âAre you two staying up here late?â
âNah, Iâm heading to bed actually.â Doyeon says, picking up her phone from the sun lounger.
âYeah, me too.â Jungkook puts the beer to the coffee table and stands up.
You nod. âOkay, then. Well, good night to you two.â
âAlright, good night. Iâll head out first.â Doyeon says before disappearing into the sliding door that leads straight to the villaâs living room.
You soon turn your heels back to head out as well, but Jungkook calls after you. Turning around, you hum, acknowledging him. âHm?â
âGood night, stinky.â
You deadpan. âNight, fucker.â
Jungkook laughs, watching your retreating back as you leave.
[ DAY 4 | September 3rd , 3:05 am ]
Jungkook likes to work out when he has a lot in his mind. But sometimes, he opts for jogging or walking around to clear his head.
With the turn of events since Mingyuâs arrival and Doyeon informing him about your plans on furthering your relationship with Mingyu, he finds himself along by the shore at three am with high hopes to clear his mind. It doesnât give the solution, but it temporarily does the job.
Inserting his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, he looks ahead at the view of the ocean, trying so hard to shut his head down with overbearing thoughts of you. Itâs no use, though, itâs always filled with thoughts of you and you alone.
Jungkook thinks about the time in med school when he thought he was completely over you. It had been after you made it official with Eunwoo two months into seeing him. He thought it would be a âbigger personâ thing to do, moving on, that is, after you announced that you got a boyfriend â but then later on, when he slept with other women or had his casual dates, you suddenly popped up in his head randomly, and his heart suddenly ached when Eunwoo would drop by the university to fetch you. He felt ugly bitterness when you smiled too much whenever Eunwoo was brought up in the conversation. He found himself wishing it was him instead â the guy you thought of buying shirts for, the guy you randomly thought of when you saw something at the mall or the park, or the guy you called when you needed anything.
It was that spring break in second year when he realized that he loved you, after trying hard to brush his feelings off for you as a mere infatuation because you were gorgeous and smart.
He finds himself thinking about the time when he almost let out his heart when you had a fall-out with Eunwoo during your third year. Thinks about how pathetic he was for thinking that he finally had the chance. It had been when you called him at midnight, crying onto the phone as you asked him if he wasnât busy. Jungkook had been studying for a Clinical Skill Assessment at that time, but heâd have been a fool to make you feel lonely when you already seemed like you were not fine. So, he had set aside his studying that night and went right over to your place. You told him about how Eunwoo was going cold, how Eunwoo was getting too close to the senior architect at his firm which youâd been having huge arguments about during those days â Jungkook remembered feeling broken at the sight of you crying, could feel himself building up hatred for the guy who was fucking up his chance with the woman he did not deserve. He thought about how he would never do that to you, thought about how he could be better for you â the envy bubbling inside his heart too big to ignore.
Jungkook remembered thinking how he would never fuck up any chances with you, and how Eunwoo was a fucking idiot for even making you feel that way.
That night, he almost kissed you. And the day after that, you avoided him like the plague.
Doyeon told him he was just as much of a big fucking idiot as Eunwoo for doing that. And Jungkook remembered regretting that night, and swearing off to never, ever make a move on you ever again because your avoidance of him made him feel like the biggest fucking piece of shit to ever exist on Earth.
He remembers you didnât talk to him for about a month. And he remembers fearing that that was finally it. Â
Of course, you made up â youâre still in his life. You let him still be in your life even though he betrayed your trust. The trust that lies on the fact that he was your best friend. Someone who was not supposed to take advantage of your vulnerability, someone who did not suddenly try to kiss you when you were at your worst.
It was a memory you two werenât fond of. Heck, youâve never ever brought it up not even once since it happened. When you finally talked to him again after that, you did not let him apologize for what he did â just shut him down by saying that you two should just forget about it and never mention it again. You made it clear that you did not want to talk about it â not at all, not in a million years.
Again, Jungkook has had a million attempts to move on. Especially when you got back together with Eunwoo. He did temporarily, when Sora came into the picture. He genuinely did like her, even more than his first girlfriend in college, and he thought he could eventually love her the same way he does you, but Eunwoo suddenly proposed⊠and his defense came crumbling down. The fear of losing you once again was too overwhelming that he ruined the relationship with Sora because admittedly, he had always been pathetic like that.
Even now that youâre with Mingyu, heâs still pathetic. He still thinks that one day, you can finally look at him. Like, really look at him and feel anything but friendly towards him. Itâs extremely pathetic that he keeps on telling himself that your friendship will be enough, but then deep down, itâs not.
Jungkook shuts his eyes close when he feels the cool breeze of the wind hitting his skin under the hoodie. He lets himself stand there for a while, just trying to bask in the surroundings, ignoring the heavy feeling that sits in his heart.
But then he smells a sudden waft of smoke, and he knits his brows as he opens his eyes back again, turning to the direction of the smell.
When he turns back, he sees a familiar figure of a man.
âMingyu?â
Mingyu glances back at him with the same surprised look on his face, but it disappears just as quickly. Pinching the cigarette between his fingers, he blows smoke in the air and inserts one hand in his shorts.
âJeon.â
âStill Jeon to you, huh?â Jungkook sneers, walking over to where Mingyu is. âWhy are you here?â
Mingyu arches a brow. âI could ask you the same thing.â
âWoke up a few minutes ago and couldnât get back to sleep.â
Taking a hit of his cigarette again, Mingyu shakes his head. âThatâs tough.â
âSame with you?â Jungkook asks.
âNah. Had a discussion with my girlfriend. Just wanted to clear my head.â
Jungkook nods, not saying anything to that. Itâs weird that youâve been fighting a lot lately. He wonders if youâre okay.
Pulling out a pack of Marlboro and a lighter, Mingyu extends them to Jungkook.
He looks down at it and thinks about how this exact thing happened in college. Mingyu always had the pack of cigarettes and the link to the best weed man in college. He used to think they would be fond memories.
But Jungkook shakes his head, looking ahead.
âI quit years ago.â He says. And it is true. He wasnât much of a smoker and only did it occasionally when he was extremely stressed, but it took him awhile to stop the habit completely, only dropping the cigarettes during second year of med school. Jungkook would say it was due to his own concern about his health â but there was an incident in the same year where you caught him smoking at the uniâs park after a particularly taxing exam, and how you did not hesitate to tell him that you hated â absolutely abhorred â smokers. You said you didnât care if he smoked, but as a med student he shouldâve known better.
He never touched that shit again.
âChanging your ways now?â Mingyu says with a teasing â more like mocking â tone, inserting the pack and lighter back in his pants.
Jungkook shrugs at that, which earns him a scoff from Mingyu.
âDo you smoke around her?â Jungkook suddenly asks.
âWho?â
â__.â
A beat of silence. And then Mingyu laughs.
âNo. She doesnât know I smoke. She doesnât have to.â
Good. Jungkook thinks. Good that he doesnât smoke around her. But what did he mean by saying she doesnât need to know?
âShe doesnât like smokers, you know.â Jungkook tells him.
From his periphery, Jungkook sees Mingyu glancing at him. It takes a while for him to say something.
âYouâd know that, huh?â
The dip in his tone makes Jungkook meet his gaze. Suddenly, the smirk on Mingyuâs face is gone, and thereâs something behind his eyes that he canât quite put a finger on.
Jungkook tries to ignore that. âIâve known her for a long time. The others can also tell you that.â He says, referring to the rest of your friends on the trip.
âYou think I donât know?â
With furrowed brows and growing confusion, Jungkook stares at Mingyu.
âWhat?â
âThat you like my girlfriend.â Mingyu spits the words out like venom in his mouth, but itâs in a way that tells him itâs been sitting with him for far too long. Jungkookâs surprised at the declaration, feels himself being taken aback by the blunt way he said it as if heâs so sure.
But Jungkook doubles down, to Mingyuâs surprise.
âSo?â
That obviously wasnât the answer the other man wanted to hear. So, what? He can dish it, but he canât take it?
âYouâre goddamn pathetic, then.â Mingyu says after awhile, taking a hit on his cigarette again.
It itches the bubbling anger Jungkook has had for him for the past ten years.
âI like __, and Iâm not gonna deny that to you,â Jungkook faces him. âBut you donât have to worry about that, because unlike you, I have enough self-respect to not sleep with my friendâs girlfriend.â
Itâs another response that Mingyu does not expect. Jungkook also did not mean to let that out. But his tongue glided with the words and he couldnât help it. Suddenly, memories of junior year in undergrad comes back flashing to him; Jiyeon and Mingyu, fucking in his goddamn bed, his girlfriend cheating on him with his best friend.
Jungkookâs already moved on from that. Jiyeon was not a loss, even though she was his first girlfriend â heck, first love even, but she cheated on him. And not just with anybody but his best friend at the time. The worst thing was that Mingyu was completely in on it, and Jungkook doesnât think he ever felt remorse about what happened back then. Mingyu gave him a half-assed apology the day he walked in on them, even had the gall to âexplainâ Jiyeonâs side, that apparently, she just wasnât âfeeling itâ with Jungkook anymore, and that Mingyu and her had been hitting it off. Jungkook realized it was why Mingyu suddenly came over way too often over at his apartment.
Itâs exactly why he never bothered to meet with Mingyu after graduation. Why he was not enthusiastic meeting him at the engagement party.
But that happened so many years ago that he thought Mingyuâs changed. He didnât want to burst your bubble and tell you what happened between them back then because heâd be the one to ruin the happiness youâve wished for all these years.
âI see youâre still hung up on that.â Mingyu says after a while. He throws the cigarette away and steps on it with his heel.
Jungkookâs jaw ticks in what he feels is growing rage. âIâve moved on. Iâm just letting you know that even though I like __, Iâm never doing what you did back then.â
âYouâre such good guy, then?â
âIf not cheating makes me a good guy, then maybe I am.â Jungkook shrugs.
âJiyeon was a bitch. She was never gonna be good for you.â Mingyu suddenly says.
It makes Jungkook seethe. âAnd so you fucked her?â
âShe liked me better than you. Women always liked me more, thatâs why I was going through them while your goody-two shoes virgin prude ass was daydreaming about dating to marry. You remember that, right?â Mingyu looks at him with a mocking stare. âAnd Jiyeon was smoking hot. She offered, I just delivered. Said you couldnât make her cum properly. We could have shared her, you know?â
âFuck you.â Jungkook spits out. He feels enraged and pissed and disgusted all at the same time.
âAre you getting mad?â Mingyu levels him with an infuriating smirk. âYou always got a stick up in your ass, Jeon. Kyungmi told me youâre just a regular playboy these days, said it was the effect of your first girlfriend cheating on you. Right now, though, is that just a front to hide your feelings from my girlfriend? A pathetic boy best friend just wanting to be noticed by his hot girl best friend? You play that role so well. Telling me sheâs lactose intolerant, she doesnât like smokers⊠you want to fuck her so bad itâs laughable because you know you canât.â
âDonât⊠fucking talk about her like that.â Jungkook growls, and he feels blood rushing through his veins.
Mingyu shakes his head. âYou know what I thought when I first met her? I was completely interested right away, but when you showed upâŠâ He chuckles in the way that makes Jungkookâs skin prickle. âIt just made me want her more.â
âYouâre fucked in the head.â
âThis fucked in the head guy got the girl you want wanting to commit to him. I donât know if she told you, but weâre moving in together.â
Jungkook pokes his tongue to his cheek. âYou think I wonât tell her about this?â
âYou think sheâs gonna believe you?â Mingyu fires back. Jungkook closes his mouth, doesnât really know if heâs confident enough to say yes. That earns him an arrogant smirk from Mingyu. âThatâs right, she wonât. I have no doubt sheâs gonna choose me over you. Jiyeon has had before. And if youâre gonna fight the same battle again this time, youâll lose.â
Jungkook regulates his breathing hearing his words. Heâs starting to not see clearly, his fist clenching on his side and he knows better than to resort to violence, but Mingyuâs testing his patience.
Heâs completely wrong for thinking that he isnât the same asshole he was back in college. Heâs completely wrong for not telling you about him sooner. Heâs completely wrong about everything.
Glancing at his hand, Mingyu looks him in the eyes, leaning forward. âYou wanna hit me just like how you did back then? You almost fucking killed me when you gave me that head injury that kicked me out of the fucking team.â
The head injury. That fucking head injury. Jungkook was so mad when he found out that he just saw pure red. It wasnât his best moment â he knows. He lost control and just⊠went for it. He still regrets doing it â not punching Mingyu â but for losing it when he couldâve shown him that heâd always be the bigger person between them both.
Heâs quiet and Mingyu takes that as a win. Scoffing, Mingyu says, âI couldâve reported you to the admin and you couldâve been expelled, and if that happened, you couldnât have gone to med. You are where you are right now because of me, so donât fucking show that animosity towards me because you fucking owe me one.â
Jungkook canât help but laugh. But he does so humorlessly. âYou really think that?â He stares at the other guy. âYouâre just as delusional as you were back then, Gyu. You think everybody liked you â but that was just because you were a touch-deprived loser who would fuck anything that breathed near him, and I wasnât. I only entertained women I liked. You thought you were smarter, but I was always the one who got the better and higher grades, even though you studied way harder. Is that why you went with law? So you wonât have to compete with me in the med field? I also know you were pissed as fuck when the captain title was passed on to me instead of you,â Jungkook leans closer as well. âYouâve always thought of yourself so highly, but deep down, you were just an insecure little boy trying to compete with another guy that didnât even see you as competition because you were that irrelevant.â
Mingyu, in his own fir of rage, grabs Jungkookâs collar, but Jungkook stays in his place, face stoic as Mingyu snarls, âYou keep running your mouth while you cry yourself to sleep because those donât mean anything when Iâm the one fucking the love of your life,â Jungkook visibly recoils to that, and when Mingyu notices, he smirks, adding, âYeah, yeah, you wanna know how __ is in bed? Because youâll never see her sopping wet when you give her cock. That angelic face of hers⊠youâll never know sheâs a slut the way that filthy mouth asks me to fuck her harder because I am that gooââ
He wasnât able to finish his sentence when Jungkookâs heavy fist suddenly lands on his cheek.
That effectively gets Mingyu to let go of Jungkookâs collar as he loses his balance and steps backwards limply, thumbing the side of his mouth only to see blood.
Whisking away his fist, Jungkook looks at Mingyu with fire in his eyes and venom in his voice when he says, âDonât you ever fucking dare talk about her like that, you fucking piece of shit.â
The moon hangs low in the sky, casting a silvery white glow over the beach, but the comforting sound of waves and the calm of the surrounding is a contrast to the rising tension between Jungkook and Mingyu.
When Mingyu doesnât say anything, Jungkook turns on his heel, ready to leave, but suddenly, he feels the back of his shirt getting pulled and being met with a fist right on his cheek, close to his nose. He barely dodges the hit, taken aback by the unexpected attack.
âFuck you.â Mingyu grits, eyes blazing.
With that, the fight intensifies, with Jungkook throwing a quick jab back. Mingyu retaliates with as much fury, the two of them grappling, their bodies colliding with violent force. Soon, the sound of their grunts and the occasional crash of a punch against flesh is drowned out by the crashing waves.
And then a familiar voice calls their names.
âJungkook! Mingyu!â
âOh my god!â
Jungkookâs suddenly being taken away by somebody by his arms, and he realizes itâs Taehyung when he speaks up again once he and Mingyu are off each other.
âWhat the fuck are you two doing?â Taehyung asks incredulously, rightfully shocked at what heâs seen. Jungkook forces his way out of Taehyungâs hold in frustration, wiping the side of his mouth. Mingyuâs on the other side a few inches away being hesitantly held down by Nayeon, who looks at all of them with deep worry in her eyes. Turning to her, Taehyung says, âCall Doyeon and __. Theyâre sleeping in the same room together at the villa.â
âYou donât need to do that,â Jungkook says, glaring at Taehyung.
He looks at him angrily. âYouâre fistfighting with somebody at fuck oâclock in the morning. Weâre going to get run off by the police, be thankful we saw you.â
âI-Iâll call Doyeon and __.â Nayeon stutters, reluctantly pulling away from Mingyu and going to the direction of the villas.
When she leaves, Taehyung looks between the two beaten up men, not believing their busted faces. Rubbing his own with his hands in frustration, he looks back at them again, saying, âWhat the fuck happened to you guys? Why were you fighting?â
âItâs none of your business.â Mingyu says.
Taehyung glances at him with irritation. âNone of my business? Fuck off, Kim Mingyu. You joined in on this trip. Everything that happens here is quite literally each otherâs business.â
âTae.â
âI canât believe you guys,â Taehyung shakes his head, ignoring Jungkook. âFighting like goddamn immature teenagers⊠are you not embarrassed?â
Looking away, Jungkook decides to sit on the sand and let Taehyungâs words go from one ear to another. His energy is waning and the rage he had a while ago is just simmering down to⊠nothing. He feels absolutely empty.
âJungkook?â He doesnât realize the steps that were coming towards them were you and Doyeon. Itâs obvious that youâve both been sleeping, still in your pajamas as you rush towards their direction. He looks at you when you call his name, but then suddenly, you turn to Mingyu. âMingâ what happened?â
Jungkook feels his heart break when you come towards Mingyuâs direction first. He knows why you did. Heâs your boyfriend, of course you are going to tend to him first.
Suddenly, he remembers what Mingyu said. About you choosing him over Jungkook.
Jungkook didnât doubt that, but it doesnât mean it doesnât hurt a little to see it fully realized.
âJungkookâ Jesus Christ,â Doyeon comes over to him and quickly checks his head. With knitted brows, she casts him a look.
âIâm fine.â
Sheâs about to say something, but then she closes her mouth and then glances at you.
Sighing, she turns to everyone and announces, âLook, letâs just get them back to the villa. Treat their wounds before they get infected.â
âRight.â Taehyung says and then comes over to Jungkook to help Doyeon guide him in walking. He relents first because he doesnât need their assistance, but Taehyung looks at him and he knows heâs pissed. So, he lets them.
As he tries to subtly look over to where you were, you have your arm around Mingyuâs waist while Nayeon helps guide him as well.
It takes a tedious few minutes to get back to the villa where Doyeon and Taehyung decide to take care of him in his room while Nayeon and you tend to Mingyu back in your room.
Doyeon nor Taehyung doesnât say anything the whole time. Just let the silence fall in the room as they clean his wounds and put bandages around the cuts on his face and treat his busted lip.
He knows theyâll talk to him in the next few hours. Itâs inevitable. But at least theyâre sparing him for tonight â or today, since itâs almost four am.
Jungkook regrets not seeing the sunrise.
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this chapter is not over yet! tumblr has a 1k paragraph/block limit in a single post and so i can't put the whole thing in this. please look thru the reblogs to read the last scene and the continuation of this chapter or click on this [ link ]
#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#bts smut#jungkook x reader#mingyu x reader#bts imagines#bts scenarios
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Need
Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Summary:
Daryl comes back from a run acting strangely needy, and you find out that Zach made him jealous. (You may have to thank Zach later.)
Or - Daryl fucks your brains out to prove to himself that you're his.
Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut/PWP. Set during early Season 4/The Prison Era.
Word Count: 3,000
The Walking Dead Masterlist | AO3 Link
Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: this is mainly a smut fic - the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; the reader and Daryl have a sexual relationship that skews slightly romantic; the reader's age is not at all specified; Daryl being very needy (hence the title); Daryl is more dominant the reader is more submissive, but there is no laid out rigid roles; Daryl is jealous and trying to 'claim' the reader after someone else makes sexual comments about her (when she is not around to hear those comments); mentions of Daryl drinking alcohol and smoking (does not take place during the fic, just a background element); some manhandling - from Daryl towards the reader (nothing unrealistic or beyond Daryl's known strength); oral sex - reader receiving (Daryl certified pussy eater); references to hunting/killing animals for food (come on, this is a Daryl fic); Daryl is slightly mean in this (he tells the reader to shut up) - but he's not vengeful or mean on purpose, he's just in a mood; spit kink - Daryl spits on the reader's pussy; pussy spanking (this was such a last minute addition and I am so glad I did); Daryl calls the reader 'woman'; overstimulation - towards reader; mention of the reader crying/having tears in her eyes (due to overstimulation); Daryl being very possessive due to his jealousy; hair-pulling - Daryl receiving; very slight anal play (Daryl tongues the reader's asshole - juust a bit); penis in vagina sex; unprotected sex - they don't use a condom and there are no mentions of other forms of birth control (don't be like them); there is no mention of Daryl cumming inside the reader, though because the fic ends before we get to his orgasm (sorry, Daryl); slight cockwarming; the sex gets rough toward the end; I believe that's it for this fic?
A/N: No, this was not the winner of the poll. But right now I am in a mindset for TWD fics because I have been watching the show and I think it's a good opportunity to get this one out of my drafts - especially because it's shorter and easier to edit. If it's not your thing, feel free to ignore it. Also, I am not doing a taglist for this one because a lot of people on the taglist last time did not follow my taglist rules (basically, they were tagged and they didn't show up to read the fic, so it feels like a 'why bother' type of situation). So I'm gonna clean out the taglist and after such a short time, I am considering quitting taglists altogether. Anyway, if you do read it, I hope you enjoy the fic.
...
Need.Â
That was the only word you could use to describe Daryl in those moments as he threw you down onto the cot and ripped your pants off with record speed. The air was absolutely ripe with need, the likes of which you had never felt or seen from Daryl before. Especially not in this magnitude.Â
Daryl Dixon was someone who rarely came off as needy.Â
Since the two of you had started this relationship (it was strange to call it a ârelationshipâ when there was so little conventional romance to it, and so few words) - Daryl was never someone you would have described as âneedyâ. He was always the definition of calm. He was level-headed, quiet, reserved - even more so in the face of your intense needs. The more you became a puddle of melded need, when you boiled over into pure want, especially in his presence, the more he turned into a stone wall of uncrackable cold hardness that you wanted so desperately to see crack.Â
It was a game the two of you had been playing since day one. And he hadnât lost yet, not once.Â
Of course, the sex was amazing - even if he never let that facade down. He made sure that your overwhelming, unhidden need always came first. He made sure that you had cum first - usually more than once - before he even considered sticking his cock inside of you or letting you drop to your knees in order to serve him. He was never selfish - a man that lived to serve, in fact.Â
That was why it surprised you when he came back from a run that day and grabbed you by your arm, practically dragging you out to the admin block. It was a place that you and Daryl had set up a little nest for personal privacy in the old wardenâs office. Daryl had chosen the location both for its privacy, and for the wonderful irony.Â
He found it downright hilarious that he was someone who had been reprimanded by cops before the total collapse of society and had been nearly arrested half a dozen times (he liked to put the emphasis on nearly, because he was a fast runner and often disappeared into the woods where they didnât care to chase him, in contrast to someone like Merle, who was a known drug dealer was of far more interest to them - and much slower). Daryl was someone who could have easily ended up in prison, and now he could sit behind a wardenâs desk and smoke a stash of fancy cigars that he had found hidden, and he had polished off the fancy whiskey in between fucking you.Â
And he took an even greater enjoyment in fucking you pinned against the wardenâs desk - but for practical purposes, he had lugged a cot into the office and set up a more comfortable space for the two of you there. The two of you even slept there sometimes because he still refused to sleep âin a cageâ - as he put it. Everyone else in the prison liked to fake that they didnât know where the two of you went, but really - they were just glad that your love nest was far enough away from everyone else that they didnât have to be subjected to the sounds you and Daryl made.Â
And you were glad that you didnât have to pretend to go hunting in order to escape to the woods for some privacy. Especially because, even as capable as Daryl was, the threat of Walkers looming over your head while he fucked you did make it a bit difficult to get fully lost in the sensations.Â
But all of that was far at the back of your mind while he shucked off his crossbow and tossed it aside carelessly (usually he was someone who was careful to put away his weapon, not wanting to damage it so that he wouldnât have to waste precious time on repairs) - but today, there was something simply rabid about him. Something itching and impatient.Â
You couldnât deny that it turned you on, but you had to question what had caused the shift in him. Especially when all of your little games - your teasing, your flirting, your dirty words - hadnât been able to crack him for months.Â
âDaryl, whatâs gotten into-?âÂ
You couldnât even finish posing the question before he began ripping on the waistband of your pants once again. That tense irritability became potent in the air once again when the fabric got caught up in your boots, Daryl letting out a deep grunt and glaring at the obstacle.Â
You reached for the laces in order to get everything off, thinking this was what he wanted, but he simply put two large, commanding, calloused hands on the backs of your thighs and shoved down - hard. He pinned you down to the cot with a tough force, something that made the metal of the supposedly temporary furniture squeal with a worrying sound. You almost didnât hear it over the pitiful, whorish gasp that escaped your lips.Â
He was never like this. He was never so desperate.Â
You loved it. Your body was flooded by heat, equally as desperate within seconds.Â
âDaryl!â You cried out, half confused, half hot red and turned on.Â
Your cunt ached fiercely and clenched around nothing and Daryl locked eyes with that pulsing gash, letting out a pleased hum. There was barely a blink before he dove between his own hands, digging in his fingers in tightly where they held onto your quivering muscles and immediately he licked a long, hard stripe up the center of your pussy.Â
Hungry.Â
That was a word you would have used to describe Daryl many times before.
He was messy and shameless when he ate meals. You had seen him dig into game bloody and raw when he had taken you out hunting, when he was starving and impatient and truly treasured a fresh kill.Â
Currently, thatâs exactly what you felt like - a fresh kill, recently captured by him, a true prey animal under his grasp being absolutely devoured while you could do nothing more but lay there and take it.Â
It felt utterly amazing.Â
It felt like where you belonged.Â
The room soon became filled with sounds - loud, adamant slurping as his tongue furiously worked over your cunt, creating the same kind of shameless slobber that he did when he was thoroughly enjoying a meal. Your gasps and moans shuddering through your lungs as the sensations rocked your body, the pitiful squeaking protests of the cot as Daryl leaned against you more, putting more weight on those rusting springs.Â
He began moaning against your heated flesh while he continued to hold you down by your trembling thighs, and while your ears rang with blood and your face bloomed with heat, you soon realized that the distant, repeated keening sound you could hear - almost like a dying cat - was you.Â
You were having difficulty catching your breath and you quickly became dizzy from the hot, heavy pleasure vibrating up your body from his tongue. Made even better by the feeling of his coarse beard rubbing against your sensitive pussy lips, and the deep vibrations of his moans against you.Â
All you could do was tightly clutch onto the blanket you had used to make up the cot and buck your face against him, hoping for him to shove his tongue deep inside of you or put some more persistent attention on your needy, throbbing clit, rather than simply grazing against the sensitive organ with each pass, making you more and more needy -Â
Daryl groaned into your cunt and then, much to your frustration, he pulled away completely.Â
âStop squirminâ.â He grunted at you, his voice a whole new shade of dark and lustful thick that you had never heard from him - one that made your whole body quiver.Â
You let out a pathetic moan, more wetness gushing out of you.Â
âDaryl, please-âÂ
âShut up.âÂ
Somehow, him barking this rudely at you made you even wetter.Â
You squeaked out another pathetic little sound, expecting that he would get back to devouring you like you were his last meal, seemingly for his own pleasure - but then, he managed to surprise you yet again.Â
He used his hold on your thighs to spread your legs (as much as he could with your pants still tangling your ankles together). And then he pursed his lips and heaved a thick, heavy glob of spit onto you - aiming perfectly and causing it to land right on your sensitive, swollen clit.Â
Just like his perfect mouth, it was hot and slick, and simply seeing the shiny bead come from his lips to land on you caused you to scream and buck against him like a cow being branded. Which is exactly what he had intended - for you to be branded by him, marked as his, fully owned by him.Â
Hot tears of pleasure escaped your eyes and he locked right onto your gaze - even through the choppy dark curtain of his too-long bangs, his steel blue eyes pierced into your soul and the burning lust you saw there punched you in the gut. When he took one of his hands off your thigh, you didnât have a moment to think about what he was going to do before he brought the heavy pads of his tough, well-worked fingers down onto your already sore clit and spanked you.Â
Once, twice, three times - something he had done to you before, knowing exactly how hard to hit you without making it painful, just enough to jolt shocking pleasure through your body and make you sob.Â
âListen, woman.âÂ
He ground his voice again, lowly, making you shiver when he leaned in and gripped your face with that now wet hand, forcing you to face forward and pay attention to him. You stared at him through tear-misty eyes, absolutely enraptured and lustful, wanting nothing more than him.Â
âThis is mine.â He growled these words with quiet power, driving his point home with another smack to your cunt that had you crying out and seizing against the touch.Â
âYours.â You chirped back, eager to affirm it, your brain filled with nothing but him. âYours, all yours. Daryl-âÂ
Before you could babble out any more affirmations, he took an even tighter, possessive, bruising death grip on you once again. One hand on your hip and the other on your thigh - trying to keep you right where he wanted you as he dove back in, just as hungry. This time he gave into exactly what you wanted, seemingly because your words had been what he wanted. He knew you all too well even without words, and he latched his mouth around your mound with intent, laving his tongue furiously across your clit without relenting.Â
You werenât sure which was worse - the teasing, or him tongue-fucking your clit like he was trying to drive you insane.Â
Your hand flew to his hair with the intention of shoving him off as white hot sparks of overstimulated pleasure-pain flew up through your gut, but your muscles curled instinctively and you wove a tight grip into his locks without thinking. Unintentionally drawing him closer and locking him in place as you gurgled out cries of wounded pleasure and he continued to moan against you, almost making your poor clit numb.Â
But of course, being as perfect at this as he was with everything else, he drew an orgasm out of you just as he wanted to.Â
âDaryl! Fuck! Iâm cumming! Iâm cumming! Iâm - ah!âÂ
He moaned against you in pure pleasure as it happened, and then he retreated down your pulsing hole to lick up every single bit of your wetness as it freshly flowed out of you. He continued to moan, slurping and flexing his tongue so he wouldnât miss a drop, eating you like the finest delicacy he had ever experienced. His tongue even strayed down your perineum, dipping into your other hole a bit, clearly unafraid and never shy, not wanting to miss a single bit of your taste.Â
You were left panting, desperate to catch your breath, and with your brain still completely out of commission, he stood up, his mind already on an entirely new track. You couldnât contain your whine of disappointment when all of his warmth was suddenly gone, even his hands losing contact with your thrumming skin.Â
âDaryl-?âÂ
You didnât have long to question it before you heard the sound of a zipper.Â
Not even knowing when you had closed your eyes, you whipped them open to see him shoving his pants down to mid-thigh and pumping his cock in hand a few stray times before he stepped toward you. You werenât the biggest fan of the âbent in half like a pretzelâ position, as your back was starting to ache slightly, but he took the look of pure hunger in your eyes was all the consent he needed (especially with the way your gaze was focused on his cock, the slight glisten of precum beading at the tip).Â
He was secure in knowing that you would stop him or tell him no if you needed to.Â
And there were absolutely no thoughts of stopping on your mind when he put a hand back on your hip and used the other hand to guide his cock into you, sinking deep inside of your slicked, hot cunt in one smooth movement.Â
Fuck - he always filled you up so fucking good.Â
âDar-âÂ
âAll fuckinâ day.â Daryl growled out, tight through his teeth, taking only a single moment before he began to pump his hips forward, fucking into you.Â
He wasnât quite as furious as before, his pace slower now. Seemingly, he had gotten some of that pure need out of his system by eating your pussy. He began to thrust in and out of you at a leisurely pace, making you feel comfortably, pleasantly full.Â
âAll fuckinâ day, I had to listen to Zachâs goddamn yappinâ.âÂ
Your brain was slowly coming back into function.Â
He had gone on the run with Zach and Sasha.Â
You thought Daryl liked Zach?Â
Surprisingly, Daryl then reached for your shoes and began undoing the laces - perhaps now finally interested in getting your pants and shoes out of the way. You just laid back and let him do whatever he pleased, your cunt flashing with a warm, pleasant feeling - simply enjoying that it was Daryl fucking you.Â
âHad to listen to that little smart-mouthed fuckinâ asshole-âÂ
Daryl let out another grunt, smacking his hips into yours particularly hard, causing you to let out a gasp. He took off one of your shoes and dropped it to the ground.Â
âHad to listen to him go on and on about you.âÂ
What?Â
Then went the other shoe.Â
Your jeans followed soon after, easily untangled from your legs by Darylâs deft fingers, making your legs free up to spread widely, inviting him in further - he laid himself down against your body, and you found your muscles much less stiff with your knees bracketing around his waist. There was another moment of comfortable fullness - stillness, as he laid there, nosing at your neck, seemingly enjoying your scent with deep breaths.Â
You ran your fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp in a way you knew he liked, boiling over with curiosity until the question leapt out of you.Â
âWhat happened with Zach?â You had to ask, still slightly fuck-dumb and confused.Â
You didnât know it, but hearing the name come off your lips was enough to trigger another intense wave of that feeling in Daryl. The jealousy, the neediness, the urge to claim you.Â
Daryl let out another harsh growl - a sound coming from him that made your pussy leak around him and clench down hard on his cock. He grabbed both your hands and entwined your fingers with his - a fierce, demanding grip rather than a romantic one. He kept you pinned in place, right where he wanted you, and he began fucking his hips into you at a fast, hard pace that was enough to push a scream right from your lungs.Â
âHe - would-nât - shut - the - fuck - up.â Daryl grunted in your ear, emphasizing each sharp syllable with a deep, harsh pounding of his hips into your pussy. âAbout you.â He whispered those words lowly, dangerously into your ear.Â
âDaryl-â You gasped, your whole body dizzy and vibrating with that electricity once again.Â
âAbout your ass-âÂ
He reached down and grabbed your ass - harsh, digging his fingers into the flesh with a possessive touch that made you cry out. He hammered his hips forward and used that touch to drag you toward his cock, fucking you onto him like a fleshlight for a few moments before he continued speaking.Â
âAbout your tits-âÂ
He reached up and groped your breasts aggressively through your shirt, popping one of the tiny decorative buttons. A wreckage that would only serve to show off more cleavage in the end. Your nipples instantly became stiff under his touch and you arched into his hands - only for the rough, wonderful feeling to be gone too soon.Â
âDaryl,âÂ
âHe wouldnât stop talkinâ bout what you might look like when you cum.â He growled out. âWhen he ainât never gonna get to know.âÂ
It was thrilling, him being so possessive of you now. But you knew that it was so Daryl. Him being angry at Zach for speaking about you in a vulgar way, but holding his tongue - not speaking up then because he wanted to keep your relationship private, didnât want to claim you in front of someone publicly.Â
Or he simply kept his mouth shut because he didnât want to lose his temper when they had a job to do.Â
âHe wouldnât stop-âÂ
âPlease, Iâm yours.â You moaned out, grinding your hips into him desperately, needy for his full and focused attention.Â
As much as you enjoyed the jealousy streak that had started this heated encountered, you needed Daryl to focus on you now - not on the words of some petty boy who had either been trying to rile Daryl up or didnât even know the two of you were together because of the lack of PDA in your relationship.Â
âDaryl, please. Iâm yours.âÂ
âThaâs right,â Daryl growled out, his voice dangerously low. âYouâre mine.âÂ
He leaned tightly over you once again, and when his hips picked up speed - you were done for.
...
A/N: Please keep in mind, this is a oneshot, and there will not be a continuation or a 'Part 2'. If you are going to comment, please comment about the body of work that has already been written. If you like this and you want to see more of my fics in my style, you can check out my most recent fic Heaven's Gate, which is also a Daryl Dixon x Reader fic, or you can check out my other TWD works on AO3.
#sundrop writes#daryl twd#daryl dixon x reader#twd daryl#daryl dixon smut#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon#the walking dead daryl#daryl fanfiction#the walking dead fanfiction#twd fanfiction
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