#it just makes me lose sense of posting my other art yk?

[minniethefoxie]

Okay, just a little rant but-

Fr, if one more person likes this post without liking a single one of my other art posts I'm gonna delete this one I swear-

Little baby in the egg shell 💖

[suusoh]

i wanna know what’s your theory on what happened to johan after the ending since it’s up to the audiences imagination yk?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ANON! I give you kiss ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ I'm going to diverge more on headcanons of him in another post. These are just my nonsensical interpretations of Johan after monster.

(tw: talks of multiple suicide attempts (all failed though don't worry))

Another anon of mine sent another similar ask (will post said ask shortly as it dwelves more into the x reader aspects hehe) gave the description of post-monster/ post-rurenheim johan as "a juxtaposition to his regular omnipotent self" which is a 1000% perfect way on how I'd describe him post-monster/post-rurenheim.

I really do believe that although he still has a prowess for manipulation skills and psychology after monster, he wouldn't have as much charisma as before. Part of his godly charisma came from the fact that he himself has no identity so he can fine tune himself to anyone (presenting himself with such a pleasing expression and personality, his agreeability with some would come from his own lack of personall thoughts). But now that he's got his own individuality and a name, he wouldn't bother with being agreeable anymore, as it isn't as natural for him anymore.

It's kind of why he doesn't even bother keeping a soft smile anymore at the end of monster when he was confronting dr tenma. He's not trying to be approachable anymore, and instead opts to actually showing how he's feeling rn. Instead of just using a pleasant expression as a placeholder on his face. I mean just look at the stark difference:

All the trauma and stress has finally catched up to him and has even taken a PHYSICAL toll on his body as well. I haven't noticed it before as I thought it was just an art style, but you can can notice that over time after he uncovers his past since the library, his face actually starts growing eye bags

like he is TIRED. He cannot do this anymore, he's burnt out. Which is the number one characterization I would give him post-monster.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE when he is interpreted as still having that small serene smile on his face and living his life calmly after monster. I subscribe to that characterization and would write him like that too, especially if we're going to interpret it as it being second nature or muscle memory for him to have that politeness. —It's just another part of me loves the idea that him being slightly rude and unapproachable even. A part of his reclaiming of his own humanity, is him not keeping up appearances anymore. He doesn't need to keep up politeness and being friendly anymore.

Another thing I can see him doing for a while is actually being quite... listless? If that makes sense. Like he would just do a good solid nothing for a while. Walk around in parks and other places trying to take in the world around him again. Trying to grasp life after losing his inner monster/kinderheim programming/fucked up coping mechanism.

He might try bars now and other social gatherings to see the hype and try to feel something. But maybe it just makes him feel all the more alienated and detached from society. Imagine being surrounded by so much people but still feel so alone. He'd feel all the more disconnected from humanity.

--- talks of suicide start here ---

Kind of dark here but I think this might lead him to trying to attempt at ending his life again. He sees it so pointless now and his entire focal point has been shattered

He knows him and his sister aren't the same people anymore, he knows that he doesn't have to keep living his life as her shadow/half a person/the "worse" version of her. But man... after 20+ years of living like that it's really gonna hit once you realise that you can't do your sole life goal anymore...

His despair might come in the form of him genuinely not knowing how to live. Throughout monster it kinda felt like he was on autopilot, his own individuality and sense of self taking a backseat. So imagine out of nowhere the plane's crashing and you're suddenly put in the driver's seat all of a sudden when, you didn't even bother learning how to drive or fly this thing in the first place because 1.) You were convinced you didn't need to drive ever, you were forcefully stuffed in the plane's cargo by adults who traumatized you, 2.) You didn't even know you'd be flying this long.

(sorry for the plane analogy i'm just rambling my raw thoughts 💀 but yes man is lowkey crashing and burning)

If we're gonna put it in a smaller more related level, imagine your entire life you grew up trained to be like...like an archaeologist or something, like your childhood bedroom had archaeology stuff, you were raised to study archaeology and only archaeology, you excelled at it, you had the gear for archaeology, you're in college studying archaeology and even having a specific vision in your mind of you being an archaeologist....the only thoughts you grew up with is you and archaeology.

Only to find out from nowhere that you never actually were into archaeology. And that you liking archaeology (aka your hobby/interest, your entire IDENTITY) was conditioned and instilled into you by weird freaky scientists when you were a child. You find out that you actually had a personality BEFORE archaelogy, and now you're 20 and you've spent more than a decade of your life dedicated to archaeology only to find out that maybe this whole time archaeology isn't even a thing you liked in the first place.

yeah that's basically the library revelation. HAFHDJAH archaeology being his "monster".

And now you're wandering through life, that isn't about you being an archaeologist..... OF COURSE YOU'D FUCKING DESPAIR. What are you even supposed to do now????

But funnily enough, Naoki Urusawa says that monster is actually a dark comedy in his eyes (Lmaooo just as I thought. I was giggling watching monster), so in true shakespearean tragic-comedy fashion, Johan's attempt here might become a fail. Divine intervention if you will.

But worry not friends, as this suicide attempt of his was made when his monster was gone, where his coolness and emotional detachment are also gone. So I think him doing a suicide attempt post-monster might actually, in some miraculous roundabout way.... scare him a bit for the first time.

I think the scene/poem "The View from Halfway Down" from "Bojack Horseman" is the best way to describe how I see he'll start feeling things.

He'd wonder why his heart is beating suddenly and why a cold sweat is forming on his face and on his palms, and why his breathing is out of control. He's confused as hell as to why his adrenaline spiked up. He walked on the ledges of rooftops, the number of times he's had guns pointed at him is more than the fingers on his hands, he died twice for goodness sakes. So why?...why is he feeling this all of a sudden? he'd start to grow a bit frustrated because this doesn't. make. sense.

If we're still gonna go with the dark comedy route, we could write him as him trying and trying again to off himself💀i'm so sorry. I'm just rolling with Urusawa's vision here of him saying monster is a dark comedy. Each time Johan attempts with ending his life, it would just fail.

But if he got spooked off on his first suicide attempt post-monster, he'd probably stop after that one. Not because he wants to keep living, but because his stupid (incredible) brain chemicals keep making his body hesitate to off himself.

He'd be pissed at his own fear. I could see him actually almost tearing up in frustration at what's happening. He's never had to deal with shit like this before, he never hesitated, he never had to feel fear, hell— he didn't even have to LIVE before. He wasn't actually living during his time as "Johan Liebert". He didn't get the same agency to fully explore and navigate his own life in his own time like every other human being. He doesn't want to try. He just wants to end himself— and he can't even do that anymore. He's so frustrated, and pissed, and he's honestly just so... lost.

Buuuut! To quote Tom Hanks from "Castaway":

I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail."

He'd then sigh softly and shake his head...maybe let out a small sardonic laugh. Ah, how fate really does love to mess with him. Some higher being out there is really taking the piss with him, wasn't it? Because maybe.... just maybe. He kind of realises that Dr. Tenma and Nina were right.

I think this is the point where he'd kinda like.... cancel out nihilism WITH nihilism.

" I found everything pointless... until I realised even that was pointless" kinda vibe

Hope this satisfied your question anon! My thoughts are not organized here so pardon :)! Also please excuse if my tone in the more serious parts sounds a bit too light.

Thank you for reading and and asking me anon! ˘ ³ ˘ mwuah!!

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

Meet my OC Spider-Weaver (Spider-Woman, Earth 50513)

For the next few paras I’m gonna rant abt my spidersona :D this might not make any sense at all bc I’m just rambling at this point but here we go anyway! (a small warning, this is going to be a LONG post)

All images are from Pinterest!

TW: Mentions of death, some queerphobia/homophobia (judgemental aunties suck)

Name: Nikita Raina (pronounced Rhi-na like rhino but with an ‘a’ at the end instead of an ‘o’) (yes she’s South-Indian and yes this is me projecting)

Alias: Spider-Weaver*

Basic stuff to know:

-She’s loosely based off of a golden silk orb-weaver spider! I’m not going to attach an image but if you don’t mind staring at spiders then I suggest you look them up, they’re actually really pretty!!

-She’s been learning ballet since she was 3, picked up gymnastics for 2 or 3 years and then quit

-South-Indian

-Complete empath

-INCREDIBLE at knitting/crocheting/macramé knotting - basically anything involving thread + working with your hands. She literally works magic with yarn. She crocheted matching gloves for all of the Spiderteens one day after finding out that Hobie’s universe is COLD and his fingers are COLD and if she’s going to be holding his hand when it’s like that then she’ll freeze

Fighting Style:

Her fighting style is more aerobic and dynamic than the regular Spider-Man swings; she incorporates jetés and leaps from ballet into it while also using mid-air somersaults and other high-speed flips she picked up from gymnastics. She also teaches herself kalari adimurai (a South-Indian martial art similar to kalaripayittu) later on so she uses a few moves from that as well.

*The reason behind her alias being Spider-Weaver is that her web style has more of a lacy crochet feel to it than a regular spiderweb. This is what one of her webs would look like:

Her webs are bionic and on her web shooters she has built-in settings for the thickness and stretchiness of the crochet web. For example:

She can also switch up the style of her webs depending on how she feels yk? Like if she’s not vibing with any of the more plain ones she can switch to ✨ fancier ✨ stitches like

Arcade Stitch:

Lacy Stitches:

Fan Trellis Stitch:

And lots more. She’s basically got almost all crochet stitches as different settings on her web shooters. An added bonus is that they’re not only unique and quite pretty, but they’re also stronger and more durable than the average single-thread (unwoven) webs.

Backstory:

(canon events will be in red)

-She was bitten at 13. Her older brother (he’s 20, they have a 7 year gap) Ravi figured out something was wrong fairly early but she played it off as nothing, put his worries to rest and found her way as Spider-Woman on her own

-She was best friends with her universe’s Gwen Stacy since they were in kindergarten. She started freaking out few years into their friendship (they’re in middle school now) once they had become basically inseparable because she started feeling giddy and bubbly and getting butterflies around Gwen.

-Poor girl was basically terrified because her aunties (mostly her mother’s sisters) would constantly pressurise her by asking her if she had her sights set on a boy yet or discussing how her marriage to a boy would go once she was older - those prodding conversations and speculations only reinforced her fears that she wouldn’t be accepted and instead would be frowned upon if she told her family that she had a crush on a girl. So she became more withdrawn and distanced herself a little, so as to not to lose the favour of her family.

-Nikita is 14 at this point

-One day she accidentally told Ravi and she went quiet, expecting him to shame her or mock her but instead he just hugged her and told her he loved her no matter what, and guess what,, he’s queer (pan) too :D

-Fast forward to a few weeks later after an almost-death scare as Spider-Woman fighting her dimension’s Vulture (she slipped up, miscalculated a leap and almost got herself killed) she finally worked up the courage to tell Gwen because it seems like she returns her feelings too! So she goes up to her and they hug and they’re talking and she’s about to confess- But noooo

-Green Goblin attacks in the middle of the school day, during a student art & drama exhibition thing (the parents are all there) and hahaha guess what Gwen’s right in the middle of it

-So Green Goblin basically splits the school building in two and she’s on the terrace and she falls down almost 15 feet because the whole thing’s cracked and Nikita doesn’t have enough time to swing to reach her since there are so many people and she’s on the far, far side and-

-Gwen hits the ground at full force. Niki gets there just in time for her last breath and it’s a little bit like the Gwen-Peter 65 scene from ATSV (Niki’s Gwen slowly figured out that she’s Spider-Woman, she just didn’t say anything) yeah I might write out this scene sometime idk

-She manages to deal with Green Goblin for the moment but she loses her dad in the chaos too (basically instead of losing her uncle she lost her dad)

-So she lost her best friend and her father in one go

-She closes herself off and withdraws completely into herself and distances herself from everybody (except Ravi),, & starts going to ballet more to take her mind off things and to get lost in ballet, with the graceful, controlled movements so she doesn’t have to think of how everything’s gone wrong

-During the mourning period she and Ravi grow closer; they both start leaning more on each other and are able to tell each other anything

-Ravi has also started training to be a cop at this point

-Her relationship with her mother grows slightly strained and shaky the older she gets, because of how closed off she’s become

-Fast forward to when Nikita is 16 and a half and the Vulture attacks particularly viciously one day, right on the bridge (the Brooklyn Bridge variant in her universe)

-Her brother (who is now a police captain, despite being a little young) is in the middle of the maelstrom of cars being flung and buildings at the end collapsing. He - a police captain close to Spider-Woman - dies saving a child from falling rubble.

-That does a number on Nikita mentally and she just. Shuts herself down in terms of feeling emotion for a bit

-Like she just goes numb, like she’s in denial about how many people she’s lost in such a short time

-Terrified to make friends or get attached because her losing someone she cares about deeply seems to be a recurring pattern

-The only one she has left is her mom, and she’s grown really distant from her

-Little bit irrelevant but she takes up psychology. She studies how the emotional part of brain works, studies some basic therapy and other think-y stuff like that, and some of her Spider-Woman ‘jabs’ (not really but I can’t think of a word for them rn) are things like “did something formative happen to you as a child? yeah I thought I sensed some childhood trauma, would you like to talk about it?” And stuff like that (she’s pretty genuine about it too, if they start talking instead of just attacking her then she will sit down with a mug of chai and just listen to them rant)

-Anyway fast forward to a year and a half later when she’s 18

-Jessica Drew ends up following an anomaly she’s been tracking into Nikita’s dimension, the anomaly manages to get the upper hand on her and has almost overpowered her when Nikita finally swings in (probably during/right after a psychology exam too) and uses the element of surprise + her speed to get the upper hand on the anomaly and web it up

-She was recruited into the Spider-Society by Jess after she saw how capable and quick-thinking Niki could be. She saw her as someone who could be a useful asset to the society.

-It’s there where she met Hobie, Gwen, Pavitr, Margo, Miguel and Peter B. + a few other spiders she became friends with (I’ll expand on their relationships in a different post)

Suit design:

(I will be drawing this out properly sometime soon, don’t worry!! Feel free to skip this part if you think it’s too complicated ^^ I really have no idea how to describe it in a simpler way lmao)

-mainly shades of gold, black highlights

-on her arms there are black “cuff” markings like a golden silk spider’s legs

-on her wrists she has black bangles (more like cuffs bc they fit around her wrists, they aren’t loose & dangly)

-wears black fingerless sleeves, they look a little bit like Gwen’s but they have black splotches (a little bit like spray paint blobs) instead of spiderwebs

-has a black spider on the front of the suit

-wears a necklace! it’s colourful and has some mismatched colourful beads on a chord and two pendants in the centre, one pendant is a paint-splashed red electric guitar, the other pendant is one of Hobie’s rings

-wears black ballet pointe shoes

-the eye outline is black, the ‘eye’ inside is pastel golden

-black 🕸️ patterns on the side of both of her shoulders (like painted pauldrons)

Abilities:

-Along with the super-strength, super-speed and accelerated healing of the average Spider-Person, she can sense emotions and thoughts.

Not mind-reading exactly but if she focuses hard enough she can sense whatever emotion is radiating out of that particular person’s mind (she used to get very overwhelmed in middle school bc of the sheer amount of envy and insecurity and other emotions in raging hormonal teenagers’ brains and somehow studying psychology helped her figure out how to tune it out a little bit, since every time she can sense too much of intense emotions it’s like constantly blowing a dog whistle around a dog,, and she also gets horrible migraines and headaches from it)

She can even read thoughts if the emotion associated with it is strong enough.

An added ability that stems from being able to sense emotions and thoughts (to some degree) is that she can sometimes predict the moves that an enemy might make before they actually make them. It’s not 100% accurate every time but it’s still pretty useful

I’ll write out her relationships (everyone already knows that Hobie’s no. 1 on that list lmao) and the world descriptions later, but for now here’s the character that’s been living in my head since I saw ATSV :D

Oh also she’s besties with @hobiebrownismygod ’s sona Maitreyi :D desis gotta stick together yk (putting this here so I don’t forget to mention it in the relationships post ^^)

[ducknewtonscoolhat]

No daily duck art today, working on some suggestions as well as another thing (All Duck related LMAO) but I will share my thoughts this evening! I had a few more thoughts about Aubrey and Duck, and their wonderful sibling relationship. I was planning on having a uhhh- a post about this whole idea but I decided to talk about it a little bit here just about Aubrey and Duck because they make me smile more than I realized. It's very likely that their sibling relationship very much stirs from the fact that Justin and Travis are brothers, but yk. Anyways, I was looking at Taz tiktoks and I saw a cosplay of Duck / some art of the scene were Aubrey asks Duck if she can have the last waffle and he tells her they a'int vegan, it is one of the funniest things in my personal and professional opinion. The idea that even though they've known each other like. I dont remember how long it is, I'm gonna bet like around 2 years at this point and Duck just assumes she's vegan and she's just like, "duck... what????" and is like so confused about it. That is the most sibling thing ever, "I swear to all that's holy you said you were Vegan at SOME point." "Duck, I never said that." And (if you haven't read my other posts this might not make a bunch of sense but yk) the years between the end of Amnesty and when they head to the Amazon, I think Aubrey and Duck spend a LOT of time together. Be it the just hang out with one another, sleep over kinda style, or even going on double dates with Dani and Minerva. I think that they helped each other cope through the grief of Ned passing, and, while it was most definitely hard on Aubrey, I can imagine she took it real fucking hard especially after reading her letter from Ned and realizing that everything wasn't the way she thought it was and also the whole thing with seeing Ned's death? Yeah I'm sure she had a lot in her head, but also I think Duck took a pretty big hit too. We read in the letter that Ned and Duck are old friends and I really believe that losing Ned hurt a lot for Duck. Aubrey was there to help him heal, and even if Ned was gone he had Aubrey, and of course the rest of the lodge, but Aubrey meant and means a lot to him as his family. Again I think she reminds him a lot of his sister and some day he ends up introducing them and they hit it off as besties. But like when he goes to the Amazon, I think he misses Aubrey the absolute most. He misses Mama and Indrid and the rest of the lodge, but being away from Aubrey after all those years is probably a really difficult change for him. I think he gets through it just fine, especially externally, but internally I think he thinks about her a lot. That's all I'm saying.

[arudoe]

Ok, first of all I have to say that I love your art style, it's just so comforting idk how to explain it but it's really really really nice

Also I saw your bruise wallpaper hc and you are so right, but which other hc do you have of them??

OMG ueueue thank you so much that is so sweet of you 😢😢

and also im soo glad you liked my silly hc hehe because i have so many its not normal actually

i made a post the other day with some of my hcs (this one) but i have plenty more!! so um enjoy 🦈

- they are both autistic (i infected them /j)

- my jay is transmasc ! (cole too sometimes depending on how i feel)

- they dont rly do petnames only like mean nicknames that are said with very much love and affection (like dummy stink fartface yk…)

- i feel like they do everything together like train play video game even when theyre doing separate things theyre tgt… like its always cole AND jay and never just them seperate… always team up for missions and everything… when they arent together the others will go wheres your other half haha stuff like that also they bicker all the timr and never say anything to each other but when the other isnt around they always talk so fondly about each otjer and 😭😭 it makes me wanna puke /pos

- they have very different music tastes (i hc jay listens to kpop and cole to 80s rock & new wave) and theyll always talk about how bad the others music taste is but secretly they actually like it… (jays kpop playlist got a save once and he was trying to figure out who it was and cole was like whoever it is has the worst music taste in the world) (it was cole who saved it) (also vice versa)

- they play every game and watch every show together and when one of them starts something without the other they get offended 😭😭

- speaking of watching cole cant handle anything scary at all but sometimes jay will somehow convince him to and always puts on the scariest stuff because he thinks its cute when cole jumps 😭

- jay still sleeps with his plushies so when they cuddle jay is spooning his plush and cole is spooning him and sometimes cole lays on jays chest

- they playfight and wrestle a lot and sometimes get seriously hurt while doing it

- they play dancing games tgt… like just dance and ddr

- also i think jay deffo dances to stim (totally not self projecting here) and his dance moves are always a bit silly so cole will copy them and jay is like are my making fun of me >:( and cole is like yeah maybe i am

- on the topic of stims they deffo mimic each other a whole lot in the sense theyll copy each others vocal stims and it annoys the hell out of everyone else because theyll say the same silly phrase over and over again for weeks 😭😭

- i also hc them both as chronically ill (jay is hypermobile and cole has arthritis) and sometimes after especially hard training days they will give each other back rubs/massages…

- they arealso borh very smart separately but when you put them together they become super stupid and lose all their brain cells

UMM okay this is kinda long so ill leave it here i have like a million more but id sit here forever writing them so 😭😭😭 once again im rly happy for ur question im kind of obsessed with them if u cant tell but um yea… enough yapping from me… adios..

[caffeiiine]

hi hi i didnt realize i cant like rb or answer anything answered privately which makes sense cuz its meant tobe private but its a lilinconvenient noq that i think about it but anyway answering stuff about the rewrite!!

the idea that angie can accurately replicate handwriting is so good to me ouagh, i wantee to add something where kokichi's signature was different on angie's note than the actual note for evidence reasons but idk if i ever put that in the doc

okok the wuestions now (i do not remember a lot of these things befause of this having been made 2+ years ago BhbBDFIJGBRJK)

- "how did miu not burn the whole jacket?" - i imagine a leon situation. most of it burned, but a part of it fell out of whatever machine miu made to burn the jacket and she just never picked it up (in part bc she didn't feel like it, in part bc she's dual masterminds with kirumi in this world)

- "why did she wear her jacket if she were trying to frame kokichi?" - yeh no i did not think that through FBHEBIJABFUIA i think me from two years ago just wanted an obvious difference to a character that at first wasnt very suspicious but later was like holy shit ur the mruderer AND HERES THE EVIDENCE sorry i have monster im very shaky so im not fixing typos i hope u can read these BEAUIBDFIUDSFBU

- "miu + angie alliance? :3" - in retrospect i so should have done something with that cuz i lowkey love that idea BUAOHAOJHEAJO

- "[...] if there was a rivalry between your s/i and angie bc of the similarish talents" - never thought about it but absolutely i think yes

- "what was the point of the torture post-mortem?" - angie wanted to make it seem like kokichi had dragged my s/i into his lab and tried to get him to help with some plan but my s/i refused (mightve been my reasoning?) and got to the point he tortured him to try to get assistance or something, angie just wanted it to seem like kokichi had tortured my s/i for some reason (cuz atp they all think kokichi is mega cruel mega heartless ygwim)

with a lot of the above questions i came up with this entire chapter within the span of like... a day home alone on a day off i had from school so i never really changed anything after i came up atih it? and i had reasonings for things i just never wrote them doqn properly and was like rambling to myself out loud ot think that day) (my dogs probably thought i was crazy) (i am crazy)

onto commentary comments :3

YESSS KAEDE IS ALIVE!!!! i wanted her and shuichi to both live in this so i made it happen :3 along with them i think kokichi is the only other of the remaining 5 after chapter 6 that would be alive (kirumi's influence, miu's inventions, they caused Despair and Hell snd whatever yadda yadda i tried making it work and i never really fleshed it out)

ENHABHAJDGBIHA YES ANGIE REPLICATING HANDWRITING HS MY HEART BECAUSE I JUST. i feel like shes really good at replicating styles? like art styles, s the ultimate artist yk, so i feel like she could replicate handwriting pretty well too

BAJHAUAHAJ I QANTED TO MAKE HER HVE SOME REALLY OBVIOUS THING WRONG BUT LIKE TRY TO EXCUSE IT OUT OF TRIAL. i made a few crazy angie sprites actually ebcause i wanted to hold on

crazy angies i made cuz i wanted to do that trial insanely ^ i mightve actually made these before i came up with this idea and then i qas like "WHAT IF ANGIE NO COAT AND NO ONE SUSPECTS ANYTHING UNTIL ITS TRIAL EVIDENCE" idk i had no reasoning to make her go to th etrial qithout her coat other than i wasnt cery good at thinking of incriminating evidence

i cannot actually think of a way to reply to the thing aoubt angie assuming and backing it up with atua + that whole paragraph (it is 12:12 in the morning rn as i type this) but hard agree with everything u say there

ALSO YES ANGIE REALIZING "ATUA" FAILED HER AND LOSING HER MIND OVER THAT ACTUALLY!!! YES!!!

u can like copy paste the format for the trial stuff if u want to btw!! with this i tried to make sure i did a lot of looking into what info i needed (i had an "evidence" tab too but i forgot what i was gonna put there so i left it blank + couldve been the truth bullets or smth! maybe the detailed descriptions for them??? idk) but anyway u can copy paste the actual format itself and leave maybe a few things in each thing to dtermine what exactly it is that you can put there idk idk its 12:15 im struggling BSHBSFDHIHA

ALSO YES HRUTAL MURDER, i didnt realize until i read through it again that it is a very brutal murder + generally brutal case and i put a lot of lements in there but i was very over the top 2-3 years ago so i blame that. id do better now if i could erase my memory of making this case and redo it

also ur welcome for accurate dearh times i think i had to actually look up "does a stab to the back of the neck kill you instantly" i htink the fbi has me on their watchlist now because of that alone BFRUIHRUIAHUIHAGHAH

alos yes i Can read tags on privately answered posts, i watned kokichi angst back then so i thought the best way to do that was to make him fall in love with me adn the n kill myself off BSJAHAUHAHHA, alos probably because i would have died immediately in a killing game so i gave myself the benefit of the doubt for it and made myself live for an extra 4 chapters than i probably would actually live

oookay sorry this rotted in my inbox i now have a spare 30 mins to type this 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

OHHKAY OKAY i was thinking that i was thinking it might be a leon thing or similar to that

AH GOT YAHT👍👍 adding on a little i think it’d be silly if she early on in the trial somebody asked her about her coat and she was like “oh, i lost it!” and everyone brushed it off until later a bunch of things come to light and then its like idk insert reaction i can’t think of anything😞😞

ALSO ALSO if we can fit it in somehow we should use miu + angie alliance, only thing now is would miu hang on until the end in order to not get herself tied up in the aftermath? or would she throw angie under the bus the minute things are turning out bad for her kinda like nagito and teruteru? except she definitely wouldn’t be as nonchalant about things as he was, she’d probably be taking everything as an attack against herself and being super defensive. but at the same time, she also has a super weak will and crumples very easy so at that point she might be more focused on minimizing her position as much as possible? idk im rambling <3

and also that’s so real i have several old aus i made on like testing days and stuff that i just never got around to fleshing out <3 and when i looked back on them they just. SUCKED. so i didn’t do anything with them. not saying yours sucked btw just saying mine sucked [like they were HORRENDOUS. trust.]🫂🫂

off topic i love saimatsu so much <3 anyways the kirumi + miu mastermind thing reminds me of hiyoko and ibuki tbh [LOVE them + that pairing] super super off topic once but me and my friend made a crackship once with ibuki + miu and that just reminded me of it mxnxnd

THATS SO REAL AND TRUE IM STEALING THAT HC

WOOO ANGIE SPRITES!!!! she so deserved to be a killer in the main game idc what anyone says

THE ATUA THING IS A DETAIL ID LIKE TO INCLDIE IN OUR REWRITE BTW <33 OPINIONS ON THAT

YAAY i’ve got the general format in my head for whenever i decide to actually sit down and make the doc since i’ve been procrastinating on that so hard😞

this is so off topic but i feel like you were a theater kid at one point, i barley meet people that are very expressive like you and 9 time out of 10 they are/have been theater kids :3

THATS SO SILLY THOUGH, if im being completely realistic id be the first one gone just bc im stupid😞 and id probably complain about people killing in ways that were stupid to me, id be lucky to get to chapter 2 i think unless i was in some position of power nxbdhdb s/i’s are silly and funny

[termagax]

sometimes people do ask me for advice on how to love their own art more and i always feel bad that i dont have very good tips. but i think the thing that helped me get so comfortable is that my own art is all super self-indulgent, so when i want to look at content of like, my ocs or whatever, i HAVE to look at my own stuff. it means i look at my own art a LOT, and i have an intense fondness for the subject matter, so it helps me feel better looking at it. even the ones i dont so much like i can smile and go but my friend is here!!!!

combine that with a naturally very analytical eye. i am the Noticer i always notice every detail in my own art and the other art i look at and with a lot of time and practice i have a pretty good sense of critique that i dont invest a lot of emotion into? like you guys have seen me blab abt my pieces before i notice every shortcoming and its just a matter of a)accepting that the piece needs to be finished at some point regardless of if i can fix it and b)knowing what to do better on next time. it also helps to use that eye to look at VERY old art and compare it to what you do now. i love looking at art from when i was like. 12-17 and comparing it to current stuff, you can see the foundations for a lot of what i do now and it really helps to get a benchmark for how much x amount of time will do for your skill. im especially fond of doing year-gap comparisons, youll see me post all the time abt what i was up to this month last year because i think a uear is the perfect amnt of time to see my art grow. close enough that a lot of the process is more or less the same and you remember making them but distant enough tjat there is marked improvement and visible change. being able to see your progress REALLY helps u feel better imo, it gives you a sense of "if this is what i did this year, imagine where ill be NEXT year"

thats the other thing i do is like..my art is ROUGH its messy and fast and i like it that way. it makes every piece lower stakes because i know i can just do it again. or finish this one whenever i feel like and move on to something else. or come back in three weeks to change something. im not very precious with my work. i keep everything in one massive file and take grainy screenshots of my program to post stuff and i have no file organization and i regularly lose them on accident to autosave failures and other such stupidness. but i think u have to break that sacredness in order to lower the stakes for yourself. it helped me overcome a lot of my art anxieties and self loathing when i just accepted that like. if i rlly hated something in my sketchbook i could just tape something over it. or tear the page out. if a drawing isnt going well i can just delete the layer or erase the whole thing. its not sacred and messing up isnt the end of the process, yk? this is also why i try not to spend more than like. 2 hours on any given piece. because then i sunk cost myself because i Have to see it through and then i push out a picture i dont like just because i felt like i Had to finish it.

in general just try to notice when your art makes you feel bad and investigate the source of those bad feelings and try to mitigate them. i always burn out when i try to "finish" a piece "properly", so i stop working on something once i stop feeling it. i hated looking at my own work so i only drew things that made me happy to look at. consistency in style/process bores me so i dont bother with it. your art is FOR you. you are the only audience that matters. the process has to be fun or you wont ever want to do it. GO FIND THE FUN

[kuregure]

1. Everything. Whether it's his story, his way of thinking and acting, the fact that he prioritizes his family and always places himself second after them. The fact that he would do anything for them, like lose his humanity if it meant saving them. It's admirable and at the same time stupid, because he is like that. He always takes all the responsibilities on his shoulders, he even blames himself for the things he shouldn't blame himself for because he couldn't do anything about it.

2. That he sacrificed his humanity to save his family in cat16. He took the sword without hesitation even if it was dangerous and even if it meant that he would cease to be completely human. Also, he doesn't know how to cook lmao.

3. I don't know if it's real but the cigarette. In an art from a wit studio artbook, he smokes and it's disgusting lmao. Don't smoke, it's lame and bad so Guren stop that, you jerk.

4. Something peaceful, because the world of seraph of the end is much too scary and hurtful. Maybe a sports manga, it's calmer like Haikyuu. I do not really know.

5. Oh wow, uh it's a French music called "Dépassé" so in English "Overwhelmed" in this sense. It's about someone who is overwhelmed by time, so it strongly reminds me of Guren and it hurts me lmao. I planned to make a post to put the lyrics of the song in English. All the music reminds me of Guren. But then, I always imagine it on absolutely all the music I listen to and it's often kpop. Kpop girl group music suits him well lmao. Like every time Snake from Medusa comes on in my music, I imagine him dancing to it. And it's very funny.

6. Almost the same haircut lmao. Otherwise I don't think I have anything in common with him, I just admire him a lot. Maybe the link with family? Like, that's the most important thing to us. Also, keeping secrets.

7. Some explore Guren's complex personality and it's interesting. Also the teasing. And the incorrect quotes are funny.

8. Spit on him every time he appears in a pannel. Read cat16 and most of your arguments lose their value.

9. Yes, his snoring won't bother me I guess and neither will eating curry every day.

10. Yeah, but he better not sacrifice himself for me like he does with his family.

11. No, it's weird. Go with Shinya, Kureto or Mahiru, it doesn't matter.

12. Ticklish. It would just be funny to see.

13. I don't have one, and I don't even know if Guren would use emojis. Bro doesn't have time.

14. I don't know all the names for fashion aesthetics, but I think he would wear sweats, joggers, things like that. Simple things, jeans, shirts and t-shirts. Although I also imagine it with a trench coat. I think whatever he decides to wear, it will look good on him. 💅

15. Well, I have three and it depends on my mood of the day: KureGure, ShinGure and MahiRen. Then, there are ships that I prefer to keep secret 👁

16. I don't really have any but I think my least favorite are Guren/Ferid and Guren/Mito. I like Ferid (like, i don't hâte him) et I like Mito, but not these ships yk.

17. Hmm idk. Maybe Guren/Sayuri or Guren/Shigure. I really don't know.

18. It's totally okay lmao. Technically MahiRen is canon, I guess? I like Guren, I like Mahiru, I like MahiRen so it's okayyyy

19. Idk. Apart from Mahiru, he has no other relationships.

20. Guren and his entire team, including Yuu. He loves his family the same way.

21. Mmh well act out my ideas in my head, write down information about it. But my least favorite part is just writing the fic lmao, it's hard and it's long and often I'm not satisfied.

22. For me, roles mean a lot because of my preferences so I pay attention to tags often. If there's a tag I don't like, I just don't click.

23.

looks like a model for magazines (Asami knows what he did)

24. I didn't find any characters there right away, so I don't know. Maybe a little Eren Jaeger? For always prioritizing his family and accepting to lose his humanity for them, becoming the “bad guy” in their eyes to protect them.

25. I started with the anime and he immediately became my favorite character. I found him a really cool character. Now I have read his story, the mangas and novels, I am up to date in the scans, I read the interviews etc about him, and I was surprised to learn about all this suffering, because in the anime , we do not see it. So now I love him more than ever. He has become my favorite character in any manga, I like his whole personality, his story, his feelings, his thoughts, everything. And his hair is really cool lmao. My impression is that he is a boy who loves and cherishes those close to him, who would be ready to destroy himself for them. And he made mistakes, yes, and he did everything to fix them. He has to make choices he didn't originally want to make but he did, for his family. He's always desperately trying to save the world when it wasn't his place to do it, he wants to protect everyone but he's just a pretty simple boy, he can't do it alone.

CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! 💫

Send a character + one or more of these question!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

11. Would you date this character?

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

23. Favorite picture of this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Uhhhgghgfhu bye I just realized I forgot to strike through itoshis AGAIN ok from now on if you ever see like random punctuation or symbols or marks next to the word itoshis just know I probably meant to strike through it and FORGOT hsgdksksodj I already realized there was no save ask draft button which is why I write it out separately anyways so I don’t accidentally click out and lose all progress but looks like I still forget a lot of things!!!! But hehe THANK YOUUU I’ll probably need the help when the time comes LOL

But yeah same for me if I fall off the grid for over 24 hours feel free to post something really out of pocket or eye catching because I probably also just missed it or was touching grass to an extreme extent……

Oh yeah huh that’s a good point!! Well assuming all side character enjoyers think alike I think that once we find someone who’s even just familiar with side characters we take it and run LMAOOO I’m so easy when it comes to being baited like I’ve seen a few other fics throw Karasu in as just like a side character and I’m like OMG KARASU MENTION!!!!! I’m so glad you chose to make him talk and that you chose him of all characters because usually people naturally just slap in Isagi and Bachira LMAOAOA I will say you really cooked with all of your writing like I feel like a broken record saying this but truly blessing the hashtags….like after peregrine and pi and then spiraling to cherry tree and the rest of your masterlist like I’m getting converted in the moment to characters I don’t normally care for?? Im ngl sometimes when I’m bored and the hashtags are still empty I just randomly pluck something from your list and start reading again LMAO

and yeah!! I can imagine characterizing someone in actual like writing form is really difficult so it makes sense!! It makes it harder to find Karasu writers fs though LOL especially because a lot of people just haven’t read the manga in general! Wait actually i think you’re a little too big brained wdym you wrote white butterfly purely off wiki and ln research??? That’s too impressive…..and the way you were spot on about your approach too????

BRO THE LAST EPINAGI ONE WAS LOWK SOOOO DISAPPOINTING??? I get it takes a lot of time to crank out a whole color page but they really did not try LMFAO and yeah those three do NOT need more art (Karasu/pxg spread WHEN)

OMG YONA OF THE DAWN MIRA WRITING CRUMBS??? SIGN ME UP I will eat this up as you write bfb LMAOOO

Omg team v is so shoujo coded fr….ok I’ve never watched this series and idk if you’ve seen it before but I think it’s wotakoi…? Somehow just off the bat the dude with the glasses (I assume he’s the male lead) also reminds me of zantetsu LMAOO I have no idea what the stories about so if it’s freaky/weird don’t come for me HAHAHA

I’m pretty certain that’s what people go off of for Nagi?? Like how he “just threw Reo away” and then they become like….Reo defenders like Reo does no wrong to the point that they are such Reo fans that they hate nagi…??? And I’m like do you realize how bad teenage boys are at communication also guys that’s also NOT what happened??? But also literally like did you not read the part where Nagi chose a different team to improve his soccer skills which is….yk…the POINT of bllk….? Just a consideration………..like huh??? And like you said we also get clarification from Nagi that he’s doing this to get closer to his goal with Reo??? Hello???? Also again it’s. SOCCER. oh my god these people make me wanna rip my hair out like what are you talking about?????

I’m just imagining you zooming in on one eye and taking a pic like you’re staring into their soul LMFAOOO but THAT RESPONSE???? Goodbye I think I’d accidentally leave the person on read I think you seriously just have some like 10 mile radius rizz aura??? Mira pulling the soccer team guys it was a SIGN this is so funny obviously doesn’t relate as much I guess but this reminds me of the convo we had about pi y/n liking hiori over Karasu LMFAOOOO you could fr just write fics off of your life atp (without all the really wild wtf toxic shit maybe because that dude tricking you into a date still has me reeling????)

Unrelated but I forgot to mention in some previous reply about secondary character thoughts I will get some ready for you o7 I’ll make a note (THAT I WONT DELETE!!!!! Yelling at myself rn as a reminder smh) and save it for when your list shortens a bit or else I think there’s gonna be like a pi wc worth of asks from me sitting in your inbox (unless you want them now instead LMAOO??)

IN MIRA WE TRUST dw we all know you’re gonna pop off so hard with bfb….enjoy your flight!!! Iirc it’s really soon right?? I think you said Aug 4 but as seen by my memory I could very well be hallucinating…..honestly flights are so nice in that sense because it’s like, well you can’t really do anything LMAO no internet (for the most part) and you’re stuck in the air so it’s the perfect time to get non-internet reliant work done!!!!

-Karasu anon

LMAOOO THAT’S WHAT I ASSUMED DW and yeah i wish there was a way to save drafts for asks but tbh that would probably be like a ton of code so ig it makes sense that you can’t 😩

AWW WAIT I’M FLATTERED!! glad to hear you like whatever i write even the sillier stuff…my aim is to be the kind of writer that people read regardless of character so it’s a relief that you at least think that!! and LMAOO NO FR BACHIRA AND ISAGI ARE ALWAYS THERE honestly neither of them were giving me sassy teasing mf vibes the way tabieita + hiori did so they didn’t even get mentioned (plus yk how me and isagi are)…ironically besides bachira’s mini cameo in that one isagi one shot i haven’t written him at all?? not even as a side character…i guess maybe because my favs aren’t rlly associated w him so there’s no reason for him to make appearances 🤔

LMAOOO characterization is important to me i take it v seriously and i try to stick as close to canon as possible hence the ln + wiki combo!! i think that’s why people consistently comment abt how my characterization is super different but also really close to canon and exactly how they’d picture those characters acting in certain scenarios (gotten a lot of people saying that abt how i wrote nagi sae kaiser hiori and gojo especially) 🤩 i think another reason why it might seem like i’m able to characterize well is because i rlly prioritize trying to show romance and love in ways other than physicality and i customize that to what i understand of a given character!! so w kaiser it was trusting the mc and trying to give her up before he hurt her, w sae it was him continuously finding ways to spend time w reader, etc etc ☝🏻 which maybe makes it feel more natural even when i’m not in love or super comfy w a given character ig??? idk though

the last epinagi one didn’t even feel like anything new it was just the full length panels of the ln covers 😭💔 hoping and praying for at least a tabieita + barou + nagi + chigiri color spread in the next volume though!!

they truly are crumbs of crumbs FJSKSJSK don’t expect anything crazy but at least it’s smth!! the way i spent all of today packing so i didn’t get any writing done 😔 BFB WILL BE FINISHED SOON THOUGH I SWEAR

i haven’t watched it but omg yes that guy is so zantetsu!! shu from princess jellyfish is also very zantetsu to me but him at like age 30 instead of 17/18…ugh i love him though the pretty boy himbo of all time

people either misunderstand reo completely or misunderstand nagi completely there’s very few in between 😭 like either they make reo out to be obssessed clingy and entirely dependent or they make nagi out to be toxic emotionless and cruel 😟 when it’s much more nuanced than that!! at the end of the day it truly is just soccer though like it isn’t as if nagi called an entire race of people slurs and tried to commit genocide (@ geto who everyone forgives and considers a green flag for some reason as if he’s not objectively more horrific??) he literally just. joined a diff soccer team and happened to communicate it poorly (although tbh i didn’t feel like his explanation was too bad all things considered 🫣 but i don’t hate reo for being upset abt the situation considering how precarious everything in bllk is)

LMAO THAT’S BASICALLY WHAT IT WAS i think I just responded w “why did you say that lol” because we were also just supposed to be friends…truly the soccer team predicted my bllk obsession HDKSJD they were nowhere near as good looking as hiori and karasu though sadly 💔 tbh i could write fics based on my life sometimes i’ll drop lore and be like “wow it sounds like I’m making this shit up jfc” 😭 truly that whole tricked into a date situation was insane…the way he tried to get me to let him drive me too bruh i’m so glad i insisted on driving myself so i could make a quick getaway

i will always accept your thoughts as they come 😏 it shall give me much to ponder while on the plane for seven or eight hours!! but ofc don’t feel forced or anything hehe sometimes your thoughts just give me inspiration for other things so i love reading them!!

yes it’s tmrw evening EST so aug 4th!! i do love how flights kinda force you to lock in…like all i’ve got are my downloaded songs my offline writing app and a dream 🫡 so i will be forced to get a lot done!! i really need to get this doneee so i can get to work on other stuff LMAOOO i think people think i’m on a writing hiatus because i haven’t updated anything in forever but like i’m still writing i promise…slower than usual because #vacationprep but still on the grind a bit each day 😓