#it just like. clicked in my brain and now im like :0
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me, just now realizing kaey stims with his hair:
#° meta discussion !#I HAVE BEEN WRITING HIM FOR 7 YEARS YALL AND I AM STILL FINDING THINGS OUT ABOUT HIM#it just like. clicked in my brain and now im like :0#//it makes sense//#brb losing my shit over this realization
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Ask follow up questions 🗣
You know, actually try and find information about the person you're talking to thats deeper than just, for example, finding out the name of their favourite movie. Ask them why its their favourite, would they recommend it, how does watching it make them feel, there's so many details to get!
Its not that hard to show a little interested because otherwise you just look like you don't actually like the person you're talking to 🥴
(This isn't about my asks on here lol I mean in actual one to one conversation)
#it took me way too long to realise thats what happens basically anytime i talk to folk#like i knew it felt one sided but i just thought i asked a lot of questions#recently understood that nope i just genuinely wanted to learn deeper details#and it wasnt a two way street#like you can learn so much about someone when you ask little side questions#that's how an actual conversation between two people that like each other should be!#when i like someone i want to learn all the things about them because its fun#im on one about this topic lol#but its so true and its ridiculously bad nowadays#i dont understand how anyone expects to make a genuine connection when the conversation is so surface level#reeeeee#no clue why i wanted to post this but its been kicking about my brain for the last few so imma dump it out here#do with the information as you will#and if it wasnt clear i did in fact not make it to bed by 2am since its now 6am#tired pup has all the brain things and 0 filter sooo#okay i really should try and sleep now since one of my siblings is coming to hang out this afternoon lol#feel free to comment or leave asks or whatever about the actual post topic if yah want#im not like grumpy as such or maybe i am in general? more frusted i think#and annoyed i wasnt able to call someone out on this in the moment because it didnt click this is what was happening but ah well#i know now and so do you so we can all do better right? right?!#okay imma go for reals now#my tags do be descending into madness#a cookie for the people that made it to this point 🍪
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Hello hrkg nation...
So, I was on the htk tag (as one is) and someone posted this screenshot from the novel when Kagiura is saying the room feels a lot emptier without Hirano and... shout out to OP because that literally changed my brain chemistry. Idk why but it literally clicked a switch in my head despite me reading the novel before and that specific part numerous times.
Not to overanalyze but this brings up a greater point in my years of being obsessed with HtK that reminds me that these two already destroyed one of the obligatory boundaries of being in a senpai/kouhai arrangement, moreso hirano though, by foregoing the expectation of "im supposed to help my kouhai become acclimated and fostering a friendly environment between us so that you can rely on me when needed (while also maintaining a respectable distance between he and I so that he can grow independently and do the same thing to a kouhai next year)" by becoming addicted to the feeling of spoiling him and being spoiled in return with honesty, genuine gratitude and happiness.
And what makes me bring this up is, its not unusual to become close to someone in a semester or to even begin to really like someone in that time. What always gets me though is that the level of sincerity never wavered. The feelings were never surface level. They have a deep and crucial understanding of each other that I wouldn't hesitate to call love. This doesn't apply to just Kagiura though, but Hirano. Now I might be reaching HEAVY and im not sure exactly what I might be saying with this, and this is gonna be a hashtag Flaming Hot Take bc some people dont see it this way and that is A-Okay 0 hard feelings. But im so convinced (and almost always have been) that Hirano has been in love with Kagiura for just as long as Kagiura has veen in love with him. Let me preface that it is no more meaningful if this is the case but this is just something I've been sitting on for literal years and I fear it only took me this sentence to decide to believe it wholeheartedly.
(Screenshot from my e-novel)

Kagiura saying the dorm feels empty without Hirano (affectionate), and this being Hirano's (equally affectionate) reaction.
So, I've actually noticed this pattern with Hirano: when affection is expressed between him and Kagiura, his verbal reaction is something along the lines of "tiredness". As in, Hirano will give or receive affection to/from Kagiura and tiredness is deemed the reason. Now, i dont recall this ever being done with his friends so thats why im extrapolating this phenomenon to hirakagi only (if im wrong lmk). Anyway, here are the examples, other than the one listed. And there are actually more than i thought
Exhibit A: Volume 6 Extra

I think this is the first one we see at all, and its comedic and hes being kind of aggressive about it PLUS we wouldn't think much of it at all because Kagiura literally did NOT sleep since Hirano accidentally slept in his bed. But just note that Kagiura is basically getting a kick out of seeing Hirano embarrassed (which to me. Is affection because. This is Hirano and Kagiura) and Hirano is just like "get your ass to bed." This example is probably less of one than the next ones but 100% worth talking about since this is post Kagiura confession (not sure where in the timeline though) and it still follows the theme of affection/tiredness, as Hirano is recognizing it and deeming tiredness to be the factor making him say what hes saying. Just like in the screenshot.
Exhibit B: Volume 9 Extra (1)

(Definitely in a relationship here LOLLL) And for some reason Kagiura decides that Hirano is acting spacey, and Hirano AGREES. Like, to be fair, Hirano was acting pretty gay this whole extra but its interesting to me that Kagiura is all abashed by Hirano being all suave and congratulating him and his first reaction is, "So... you really ARE tired" (re: Hirano using him as a pick-me-up in the first place). Why. Is it because Hirano is being affectionate? I MEAN, YEAH kagiura clearly took it as such hence the blushing and acting all embarrassed and then proceeding to be like "you must be tired. Anyway youre not being confessed to are you."
What stumps me more is how Hirano agrees with him. We know Hirano will get defensive at stuff Kagiura says (throwback to "them's fightin' words, asshole") and idk the exact wording in japanese but the idea that Hirano just casually agrees to kagiura ascribing his behavior to being spacey and he has nothing to say to it... interesting.
Exhibit C: Volume 9 Extra (2)

Mere moments later on the train when Hirano says "you can be stinky with me bae 😍", Kagiura is embarrassed by this clear sign of affection and what does Hirano say? "Man, am I tired" Okay we GET it. Again hes making a point to emphasize his tiredness and for what? To excuse that hes saying crazy shit? Mkay
Exhibit D: Whatever the hell this is

This... this whole page. Man i don't even know where to begin. Hirano is straight up unabashedly giving Kagiura googoo eyes. I had a violent reaction to seeing this extra. The point here is that Kagiura looked at him, got caught off guard by this absolutely unmistakable "im gonna take a bite out of you in the next ten seconds" look and his question is "are you sleepy". And its like. Okay sure hirano looks a little drunk (in love) yes but. He also looks wide awake. But he does say "a little".
Okay hold on I have to add that I'm genuinely tweaking out over this extra like YES I've seen it before but after volume five and just. Everything i am genuinely aghast at how obvious this is. Like oh my god. Hes practically drooling. Im loosing the plot so bad. What i would do to have this voice acted. Yoshitsugu Matsuoka you absolute legend i KNOW you'd cook for this
Anyway so yeah. I also noticed with two of these examples that its Kagiura mentioning the tiredness and its Hirano agreeing, and with one its Hirano saying it himself, and with two its Hirano saying it to Kagiura. Idk if what im saying makes sense but here's kinda what im getting at (again this extra genuinely made me lose my train of thought happy pride i guess damn): for Hirano, maybe its some sort of code, or something hes experienced from someone else, or maybe its just embarrassment covered up that has become an inside joke, im genuinely not sure, but Hirano will disguse affection as him being tired, or Kagiura's affection as him being tired, and Kagiura recognizes this too.
Why this stuck out to me with the novel is that, so early on, so soon in their relationship with each other, Hirano is already recognizing this affection hes receiving from his roommate, one that is in the general sense no different than his usual honesty and sincerity when it comes to Hirano, and Kagiura himself at this point hasnt quite come to terms with being in love with Hirano at all, just that he HAS deep affection for him. And yet Hirano picks up this DISTINCT affection in a way we've so far only ever seen referenced post-confession AND when theyre in a relationship, that makes him say, "You must be tired".
In other words, we see Hirano, far before Kagiura admits his own feelings or even realizes the extent of them and far before Hirano can even consider his own feelings LOVE, use a phrase that we've only so far seen used in contexts in which the two are being obviously romantic in their affection (the only POSSIBLE exception being Exhibit A but the whole reason that whole thing happened the way it did was because of the romantic context to this otherwise embarrassing but negligible occurrence) and he doesnt even REALIZE it. Even if Kagiura was actually sleepy (and he was), and even if hes just being a little shy, the idea that Hirano's first thought was "dodge" and that dodging is something we see come up in such a specific, familiar way in such specific circumstances following what we would brush off as insignificant in the scheme of things just has me tapping my chin and then going EUREKA! Because Hirano loves him and has and its that simple. Hirano has always associated whatever feeling he had at that moment from receiving a particular flavor of affection with tiredness, with sleepiness, with someone saying those things because theyre not all there right now, they wouldnt USUALLY do that because if they did, it wouldnt make me feel this way, so here is a reasonable explanation. That same principle is then applied to himself; if im saying things that make me feel this way, that are a reflection of how i feel, in such a way that i would never actually do but here it is, just slipping out of me, I must be tired, I must not be all there, otherwise this wouldn't happen, I wouldnt say it.
Hirano loves him, and even if it’s not as AGGRESSIVELY as current Hirano, I think this was at LEAST the beginning of it. Hirano already killed the boundaries of their relationship in order to achieve a comfortable dorm life for both of them, and by doing so he created this situation between the two of them in which there is a very unique sense of closeness and understanding, and bond brought about because they are who they are individually and then with each other. Kagiura is honest about how he feels and before now he wasnt necessarily hiding his affection for Hirano, not in a way that matters. And then he tells Hirano that "Without you, it felt lonely" (with you, things feel whole, and right. if i had to choose, i would rather be with you (i wanna be with you (more than anyone in the world))) and Hirano feels this affection in such a way that creates a pattern in his behavior that he repeats in the future when he knows too that Kagiura is the person he wants to be with more than anyone in the world, where he gets to have that spot beside him, right where he wants to be, right where Kagiura wants him to be, and he says it now. "You must be sleepy." (Because it must be you, Kagiura—so earnest and honest, so much more so when you're tired that you would say such embarrassing things that no one would ever say to me—and not me, who feels each syllable in my chest and remembers the feeling each moment I spend with you in a future I do not yet know I had been wanting).
Also ignore every typo i am so sleepy and im gonna reread this tomorrow and go "burry was onto nothing 🔥🔥" but for right now we will Pretend
#huge reach but#i couldnt not think it#and again ive always thought it#and also again this does not add any significance#to the story's overall narrative#to think that Hirano has loved him all this time#honestly im very sure he has#we can argue what “love” it was but#love as a concept i think#its pretty irrefutable#but what im saying is#hirano loves kagiura#and ill say it forever#and hes such a freak about it too#notice all the future extras hes being freaky deaky#the bedroom eyes#im so serious yall i was gripping my hair and dropping my phone thinking about it#who does that#ANYWAY#hirano to kagiura#kagihira#hirakagi#hirano taiga#kagiura akira#burryisbusy#also kagiura knowing him so well that he repeats tgis rhetoric#or rather its implied hirano excuses his gay behavior with being tired often so nowits a Thing
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Drunk Antics // SKZ!Bf x Reader

how i imagine the kids when they're drunk. (still waiting for the day one of them drink with youngji)
Tags: Alcohol Consumption, Fluff, Est. Relationship
Disclaimer: click on the pictures for a clearer resolution ₍₍ ◝( ゚∀ ゚ )◟ ⁾⁾
hyung line
bang chan

chan is one of the group lightweights. i said what i said. i know he seems like the drinker but i beg to differ—but really it depends on what he drinks, he can take three cans of beer with a few shots but if he goes out to a bar he tends to be carried away with 2 cocktails and a bunch of shots that render him weak in the knees after an hour and a half.
a flirty drunk. will wink at you, spew out the most flirty and corny picks to man. "wait i need to breathe, you're taking my breath away,"
"you're missing something," and when you ask what is it he'll slip your hands in yours and wiggle his brows, "my hands,"
"your lips are kinda dry," he points out and you simply raise your brows in inquiry before he puckers up, "i know what can help,"
when you get back inside you're too tired to lug around a man twice your weight so you both end up in the couch, with him snuggling up to you the best he could before ultimately dozing off to sleep.
both your backs ache the next day but you love him regardless.
lee know

minho isn't a lightweight but he chugs alcohol like its water he ends up hammered so quickly it goes from a literal 0 to 100. when drunk, he screams, he shouts and he chases small critters around until he passes out. the most chaotic drunk if you ask me.
when you pick him up he's gained some resemblance of sobriety, but he loves to babble incoherent sentence because not talking would make him feel like he'd combust any minute now.
"do you know that soonie is like felix?"
"how cute are you? i want you to be my cat,"
"what if i chase jisung around, im a predator animal," and when you correct him that he's a rabbit on skzoo basis he'll fight you.
you fondly roll your eyes at him and entertain him like a sugar rushed toddler unable to stop the motor that is his mouth. it's between an existential crisis or kids show questions which throws you in for a loop because there's "what if people didn't have gravity," to "do we really know what happens when we die?"
the moment you get home, you help him with his shoes and he heads straight to bed, unable to further lift his head and simply passes out face first. you have to roll him sideways so that he doesn't suffocate.
in the morning, he has the worst hangover you help nurse.
changbin

thinks he knows his limit but kinda goes 3 drinks over. but it's fine because once he realizes he doesn't feel too well, he'll stop. and he is the most likely to throw up after drinking. the first time it happened, it shocked both of you and he couldn't face you for a week even after assuring him its alright. however this time, he throws up and you still help him through it, now with less shame than when you both first started.
the softest drunk ever. loves caressing your face and just looking at you with unbridled adoration and love as you drive him back home. he's quite the flatterer when intoxicated and would render you a blushing mess the moment you get home.
"do you know you're the prettiest human I've ever laid my eyes on?"
"you know, when you tuck your hair behind your ear when you're concentrating, you look so pretty,"
"but your pretty any time of the day regardless,"
so on and so forth.
when you get home you help him brush his teeth per his request. while you run the brush through his mouth his hands are on your waist, drawing comforting circles around with his eyes closed. "binnie, baby, you have to spit it out," you cajole the nth time because his brain is getting fuzzier by the minute. you manage to put him in pajamas after and despite you normally being the little spoon, its his turn, curled up against you, face nuzzled by your chest as he dozes off peacefully.
hyunjin

he's a silly little guy when drunk. a kiss monster too. he loves pressing kisses all over your face, on your hands, on your lips and you could mildly taste the tequila on his lips. before you could even drive off you're already making out with the man. you have to stop him and he gets all sulky but you promise more kisses when you both get home.
hes inseparable from you when drunk, having both of you waddle back to your front door because he's clinging onto you like a koala bear. he isn't the most vocal when drunk because he already feels like shit after letting the drinks settle but is whiny.
you give him the promised kisses but only pecks and gentle presses lest you wanna end up in disaster with a drunk person. he will conk out when he gets dressed in his pjs and you just cuddle with him as he dozes off. most likely to wake up in the middle of the night or early morning and then goes back to sleep.
maknae line
han

jisung is the lightest weight amongst all 8 of them and he knows it. he can't take more than 3 bottles of beer before tapping out. the moment he feels anything beyond tipsy he's ready to head home and simply relish in your embrace. there's something about being drunk that he doesn't particularly like, and he doesn't like falling asleep intoxicated either.
his introverted nature and social anxiety works double time when intoxicated so you try your best to make it there as quickly as you can. he's a little weaker to pressure when drinking especially when with JYP.
so when you get home a movie and some snacks to fill his tummy are ready and you watch a round of Ponyo and Howl's Moving Castle before he's ready for bed. he gets a bit restless when intoxicated so he politely requests you to be the big spoon for tonight and play with his hair as you help him off to sleep.
you two don't wake up until noon and its alright since by the time you're awake, breakfast is ready for you. it isn't the most complex breakfast but eggs and bacon would suffice. "thanks for picking me up last night,"
"not a problem honey,"
felix

chaotic drunk, only comes second to lee minho. there's something about felix that just entertains you when he's drunk because unlike minho you do less of the picking up the pieces and more of partying in the car with felix. you guys sing your heart out to lady gaga and ariana grande on the ride back home and it turns into a dance party when both of you are getting ready for bed.
he also requests that you put a face mask on him and have some snacks before you head to bed. and you do, you give him those shitty animal print face masks and start dancing to slayyyter while heating up some dino nuggets you find in your fridge.
this is how the 'bro' side of felix comes out, in contrast to his sweet and gentle loving he loves tackling you to bed and tickling you because the alcohol gives him such a rush. both of you pass out on the bed sprawled against each other after the face masks and wake up with your head hanging off the bed, with felix completely on the floor.
seungmin

softie + "no im not drunk" drunk. doesn't wanna bother you so doesn't message you to pick him up, and that usually leads him to denying he's drunk when you say you're picking him up. although when he's extra tired he'll just give in.
he tries his best to not act drunk, not taking your offer to help him in the door and unlocking it, insisting that 'he could still do it,' but fails miserably, the key slipping from his hand and he'll just stand there with a pout like a lost puppy and you simply can't help but fondly laugh at his clumsiness.
once you get in, he starts to brush his teeth and get himself in pajamas before you give him a glass of water. he has to hold your hand while drinking the water which is one of his cutest drunk habits before you guys go to bed. he wordlessly pulls you to his arms and presses you against his chest then its lights out for him. not the most chaotic affair to say the least.
i.n

competitive drunk. and given jeongin's chaotic history, he has definitely drank underage before. he'll make sure to challenge all his hyungs who can drink most and it'll ultimately backfire against him because he is the strongest drinking out of all of them but is also the flimsiest drunk. he cannot walk, for the life of him, and in minutes he's stumbling all over the place.
it is a challenge for you to take him back to the car but with enough chanting of "left, right, left, right," you manage to get in the car with minimal casualties (aside from that trash can he nearly knocked over).
his brain is working just fine, its really his motor skills that are put to the test because he could barely lower the car windows, having to do it yourself. getting him in the house is another challenge because jeongin isn't light by all means, especially his added muscle mass overtime but you power through it and by the time you get him to bed, you're sweating like crazy.
what a big baby, but he's your big baby.
if you wanna send in a prompt or an ask or just say hi feel free to do so!!
#skz bang chan#skz han#skz changbin#skz scenarios#skz#stray kids#stray kids x reader#skz lee know#skz seungmin#skz hyunjin#skz felix#skz i.n#bang chan x reader#changbin x reader#han x reader#lee know x reader#seungmin x reader#hyunjin x reader#felix x reader#i.n x reader#skz fluff
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Owner of the now-dead @lilythecattt Dandy’s World AU Sprout Roleplay Blog.
Owner of the semi-alive Roblox blogs: @robloxiansurvivors and @blog-tales-decasquad!
Other Blogs <in the underlined text!
Forsaken Corrupt Worlds AU masterlist:
📝 Personal List thingy (ignore this)
I don’t bite I friendly! Promise! :>
“I am like a Crazy Cat Lady—If instead of cats, it was a bunch of abandoned AU’s and OC’s for obsessions that come and go at random!” -Said few people ever… Probably.
ASK ABOUT MY GOOBERS!- Or other fiction stuff. Or random stuff… I don’t mind! :D
If you want more Intro-stuff, click below the pictures :3
(Edit: May 2025 // you’ll never know if i edited this a week, or a day ago!)


Goofy SW!Sprout Blog Asks :3
About me:
-She/Her
-Call me Kit, Lily, or Cat! Preferably the first one, but I don’t mind the others!
-I’m in the U.S, You can guess what Timezone I’m around
-I believe in Jesus Christ :D (*Previously this said “I’m Christian” but apparently even that can make people assume the worst. I’m not the kind of “Christian” that uses their faith purely as an excuse to be a Shhzy person I promise)
-Do not send NSFW things in asks, you will get blocked.
Fandom stuff (Even though I like lingering in corners :p)
-Dandy’s World obsession died… Forsaken Obsession is- less prevalent now… Idk.
-I have a couple of Favorite Characters, My main favorite switches with my current obsession xd
Other Fandoms I’ve (kind of?) been in, are:
Sonic The Hedgehog (Reoccuring hyperfixation… My beloved…)
Object Shows (BFDI/TPOT, HFJONE, A few others…)
Cookie Run (Kingdom mostly)
And Splatoon (I don’t play it anymore, but I know the lore! Marina my SILLY-)
Roblox Forsaken. mostly joined because “Chaotic Child”, and my Robloc OC’s, honestly-
Block Tales now, apparently?
I know some Vocaloid songs and producers, but my music taste is just whatever sticks in my brain. (My playlists are a mess ;u;)
(Roblox) Fandoms I am purposely trying to consume the lore of get into:
Roblox Phighting [//TAG FOR PHIGHTING: “Phighting Notes”]
Pressure (Yes, the game with the hybrid fish-criminal guy that I totally know the name of /sillyj)
Block Tales
Tbh there are more… Tbh the one I most likely will play is Block Tales. Sadly I lost interest in playing PVP or Team Based games a while ago, but that won’t stop me from lore digging! (Feel free to lore dump at me about these! If you’re unsure about me being fine with it you can always just ask! :3)
My Tags (Mostly for myself to remember):
EDIT: HELP ME IM DROWNING IN TAGS… I really need to tone it down to just 3 don’t i. Maybe 5. AGH BUT I DONT WANNA TRY AND MOVE MY WHOLE TAG LIST D,:
-lilythebloop [Ramble tag! For literally anything!… Originally was supposed to just be for short random thoughts I had.]
-Lilythe:) [Favorites! Double-favorite is “Lilythe:3”]
-lilythe:] [Interesting lore thing/headcanon you got there!… Mind if I just—yoink]
-LilytheASKS [Asks I get :333]
-Lilyblogstuffs [blog things.. mostly asks, answered or not]
-LilytheRoleplay [Roleplays I do, or talking about them! Mostly not Dandy’s World, but can be sometimes.]
-LilytheAnons [Anons I made up!… Usually I name them after an Ask I sent on a blog.]
-LilytheHMM [Very “hmm” ideas… May consider them.]
-LilytheHELP [Cursed things… Also is “LilythepleH”]
-lilythe… [If I’m dead inside that day]
-lilythebleh [Slightly less dead inside, but not necessarily in a positive mood.]
Etc:
-Mutual Things :D
-lilythevidoes [//Spelled wrong on purpose :3]
-carpposts :3 [Also “Carpposts:3”… Just sh-post stuff]
-lilytheOCs [self explanatory]
-lilythetakingnotes [//idk notes on lore stuff for things, or ideas for things idk]
ROBLOCS:
-Phighting Notes
-lilytheforsaken [Roblox forsaken… sigh]
-CWS!Forsaken AU [AKA: “Corrupt Worlds!Forsaken AU” and “Corrupt Worlds!Roblox AU”]
-Forksaken [Might use this as my own tag for forsaken things I like… or just forsaken idk]
Shelly’s World AU:
-SWAUIceberg [L o r e]
-SWAUStuffs [Might not be deep lore, but it’s still related.]
-SWAUWriting [Fanfiction.. for later I guess]
Tags for other stuff:
-Dandy’s World Glutter [Okay I’ll admit; i stopped trying to make Glutter famous. :c]
-Glistenlings [Rodgerlings… Astrolings… ___lings…]
-Dandy’s World Cuddle Pile (Haven’t found as many of these as I thought.. huh.)
Non-Dandy’s World Other Stuf:
-C00Llings [Gues whooooo! C=]
Old Tags here…
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Links to other Parts of this Bloggg! :D
Other Blogs I own… :3
Note to self: Anonymously Click the underlined #III rebmuN
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~Forshakern~
Forsaken/Roblox CWs!AU Masterlist
Termination/Getting Banned in Corrupt Worlds AU!… (The Banlands, how it works, etc)
Frogcore Noob…
CWs!C00lkidd Survivor Moveset idea (not the full concept(s))
My Bobot robloc oc
(Photo) Mafia guy VS Detective!
(RP) Detective Fedora meets Cl00n7!
(Video) Forsaker cool chase-music covers (C00lkidd, & Bluudude…)
(Blog Event) That one time C00lkidd hacked me… (March 18th)…
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🌈~Dandy’s World below here~
Dandy’s world lore gushing (+THEORIES AND HEADCANONS):
New Shelly’s World AU Explanation/Introduction thing!
Old Sprout-Blog Intro…
Shelly’s World Sprout Blog Updates!
Shelly’s World AU (Reformed!DW AU?) Dancifer Lore Rambling hehe…
(*Note: I might make one on Shelly… Eventually. :D)
(*Also how do you change what the url is named? I wanna put a silly thing like i’ve seen others do :<)
(*^Edit: Doesn’t matter anymore because the Text is the Link now :D)
Dandy’s world Youtube Playlist, but it’s vaguely connected to SW!AU Lore and Ideas for characters!
(For anyone digging around for AU Lore.. whatever reason)
*Vaguely* reminded me of SW!Astroke.. but also another Toon… (SONG: Rät - Penelope Scott)
SW Echos… Wonder whose language this is? (SONG: Language of The Lost - Riproducer)
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Alt Dandy’s World AU’s:
Dandy’s World Trapped-in-Tapes AU Concept (basically dandy traps the Toon’s minds inside the tapes to save them from being twisted, and tries to keep them from recovering their memories, because he fears they’ll go insane or something (they will eventually regardless))
Dandy’s World “Handlers Return AU” Concept!
Dandy’s Parasite AU Concept
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Because I forgot to LINK THE FLIPIN SW!AU FANFIC BEFORE… <There it is :3
WIP Shelly’s World Fanfiction Note:
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overthinking… (ae)
DO NOT GIVE A CHARACTER A PLACEHOLDER NAME LIKE THIS
Tumblr “Mass Tag Replacer”? Whatever that means…?
OC DESIGNING STUFFS
What not to do when writing injuries… For future reference…… :)
Site that lets you type in words for a word, and it gives you the closest word to it:
NO BUT SERIOUSLY- THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING OMGGGG I KNOW BETTER WORDS FOR A “Hesitant Glare” and a “Fake Smile” now!
#lilythecaatt silliness#lilythecaattt silliness#dandy’s world askblog#dandys world askblog#intro post#blog intro
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tuesday again 5/14/2024
googled "sample bon mot" in a fit of desperation, considered asking chatgpt to generate me some for 0.2 seconds before the visceral BLEUGH reaction plus remembered that every query is like pouring a 16oz water bottle out on the ground, and figured this series of events would be a better intro than anything else i could come up with
listening
miya folick's Pet Body was off last week's spotify rec playlist. i had liked some individual songs by miya folick (singer/songwriter/alt/indie/dance/electronica) but now i gotta really dive into her discography-- this particular very peppy and upbeat song with dire lyrics is really clicking with me lately as my body overreacts to texas pollen and engages in other known misbehaviors.
the chorus, my god
Proper care and feeding for my pet body
and this verse
I'm just a brain with a pet body Out for a walk until I croak I'm just an ordinary subject In an ordinary book
as my mother used to say, i'm real fuckin sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!
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reading
ough i need to vacuum. i picked up Mrs Vargas and the Dead Naturalist by Kathleen Alcalá for a dollar last summer bc 0) killer title 1) it was a dollar 2) cool cover 3) autographed 4) endorsed by le guin.



kind of fascinating as an object: weird little lesbian (?) boutique press that's still around, idk ive ever seen a notice about steps they took to ensure the longevity of the physical book before?



i find myself bouncing off latin and south american magical realism a lot bc i am not in those authors’ intended audiences/i do not have the background to fully appreciate them. i have a bachelors of science. and that’s fine bc that’s the point! this is one of the very few times post-college where i caught myself thinking “man i gotta find a class to take about this”.
even if i do not understand the wider cultural context or the real-life figures she obliquely references in many of these short stories (i am convinced the bird-voiced singer is based on a real singer), i do appreciate alcalá’s craft: true short stories, she makes her point and then ends it. the twist in Reading the Road specifically— woof that’s gonna stick with me for a bit. a perfect little o henry twist of the knife. i wanted so badly to link this specific short story but apparently nobody has used it to teach anything and the book itself is not widely available/on the internet archive/etc. u will have to find this story of a roadside fortune teller (who is current on all her business permits) and one day's fortune telling, by yourself perhaps through your library
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watching
youtube
the prisoner, the seventeen episode british sixties tv cult classic. let's yoink the description from wikipedia.
The Prisoner is a British television series created by Patrick McGoohan, with possible contributions from George Markstein.[2] McGoohan portrays Number Six, an unnamed British intelligence agent who is abducted and imprisoned in a mysterious coastal village after resigning from his position.[3] The allegorical plotlines of the series contain elements of science fiction, psychological drama, and spy fiction.
number six shares a lot of traits with my cat philip marlowe, as they are both hell fucking bent on escaping and all attempts to restrain them just sort of train them to be better at the next attempt? as one might expect from a heavily allegorical sixties show, kind of heavy emotional going so im watching an episode every day or two.
why am i watching this? it's free on my library streaming service (and tubi), and i don't have a lot going on. i love one-season cancelled shows, i love Dad Media, unfortunately i was a navy brat and i do love some cloak and dagger shit. i LOOOOVE a fucked up little town and bureaucracy-as-cudgel. i actually came across this when i wishlisted the game We Happy Few back in 2018, another entry in the "creepy little british towns" genre. have yet to play it
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playing
the cosmology and general backstory of genshin is convoluted as hell (The Gods are real and live in the sky, but some lowercase-g gods are also rulers of the seven nations in-game) but they have been foreshadowing a grand showdown since the very beginning of the game. one player character cannot de- or re-stablize so many regions and engage in so many power struggles without someone taking notice.
i did NOT, however, expect one of the regional god-rulers (purple) to start planning for this divine war in a side cutscene in a seasonal event. a seasonal event around rock n roll rhythm games. absolutely devastated i missed the pink fox lady's rerun right after i had to give my work laptop back and before i got the PC fixed. this game will not run on my iphone 12 for love or money
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making
bit of a depression hovel situation going on. we are slowly rolling that back tho. finally met my landlord during the HVAC replacement debacle, he said that he bought this apartment in 2009, lived here for ten years, and then his parents lived here for a couple years. i am the first non-family tenant, i think. all of the appliances and fixtures are from 2009. i think the fridge will be the next to go. ANYWAY. i asked him what the deal was with the lack of bathroom vents and HE said when he had an air conditioner put in in 2009 the HVAC guy then assured him he only needed the HVAC vents and closed up the actual vents. which is a load of shit. i am not really excited to live here for another year but i really super can't afford to move and finding an apartment in houston the first time was such a goddamn nightmare. i cannot do three years tho. hopefully something will have changed by august 2025.
i have also, through a special cashback bonus reward on my credit card, a sale, a gift card, and cashing in more cashback money, acquired a cat tree for philip. modeled here by mackie bc we did room swapping again as i was writing this. i cannot be bothered to install curtain tiebacks or properly fold anything, as you can see below

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THE WEIGHT OF SILENCE: CHAPTER 3: :0 previous, masterlist, next wc: 2.5k
a.n: oh my god im so sorry i like ghosted you all😭 ngl i forgot i was writing this and just now remembered- i promise i'll try to be more steady with my posts in the future so heres chapter 3!
day 3
you keep going back to that little cafe. you’re not totally sure of the reason, but it’s likely a mix of the sheer amount of work you manage to finish while there and that one guy you keep seeing. it’s the third day you’ve gone back, and the tall guy behind the counter recognizes you and smiles. “oh, hi again!” he exclaims, a small wave pairing with his actions. you wave back, offering another smile while you walk over to the table you usually sit at, putting down your stuff and walking up to the counter like it was routine.
“hey! what can i get you today?” the guy asks, still smiling from his working spot. you smile back and look over your options. “hi! i’ll just get an iced latte and a chocolate croissant, please.” you say, looking up from the case as you finish. he nods and starts to ring you up. “yn, right?” he says, and you nod. he just nods in return and starts making your drink.
“you’re here pretty often now, hm?” he hums while turned away from you. you nod. “yeah, i mean, i found it, and i love the place, so,” you trail off a bit. “my name’s mingyu, by the way.” he adds. you both converse for a moment before you notice the guy walk in. from the back? you turn to mingyu and take a chance.
“mingyu,” you start, and he turns around, holding your stuff and handing it to you. “yeah?” “do you know what that guy’s name is?” you point subtly towards him and hold out hope that mingyu knows. “that guy? oh yeah. that's my friend minghao.” he answers, and you just nod, happy at your newfound information.
minghao. that’s a nice name. you think to yourself. you pull out your phone to text a quick message to your friends once you’re back at your table.

day 4
day four in a row of going to this cafe, and you had a nice conversation with mingyu while he was making your drink; something about classes slowing down because of spring break coming up. once you settled back at your table, you instinctively looked up at where minghao would be, smiling a bit at the sight of him focused.
something caught your eye though. his own gaze seemed to avert from whatever he was just looking at before. he looked a little… panicked? you brushed it off, but a small giddy sensation filled your body, accompanied by a flutter in your stomach.
minghao looks back down at his laptop screen, eyes widened a bit as he pretends he’s in the middle of a task. fuck, i cut that close. he scolds himself silently before something clicks in his head. wait. we almost met eyes… which means she is looking at me too. he feels his heart get a bit louder in his chest at the thought.
day 5
another day at heaven’s cloud cafe! you’ve fallen into a routine of walking in, setting up in your little corner, having a nice conversation with the barista you’ve seemed to befriend at this point, and then scanning the rest of the area for minghao.
minghao sighs for the nth time that day, trying to use his brain and think of an idea for this damned project. why was this so hard? it really shouldn’t be. he takes a few sips from his drink, looking up from the screen, making him want to rip out all of his hair for a moment.
his eyes land on you, working on a mix of your laptop, ipad, and notebook. you were effortlessly beautiful, your hair making a nice silhouette of your head against the bright window behind you.
his first instinct was to get up, go over there, and ask you on a date right then. but then the doubt started to creep in. what if you didn’t find him as intriguing as he found you? what if you were weirded out by this stranger asking you on a date? i mean, you didn’t even know each other.
the doubful thoughts (realistically, as well as the impending task of figuring out his project theme) stopped him from acting, staying silent at his seat as he fantasizes of what could have been.
day 6
wow. the cafe is busy today. those are minghao’s first thoughts when he enters the cafe on the thursday afternoon. he can’t help but feel bad for mingyu who is doing his best to handle the rush despite working alone today. he moves toward where he usually sits, stopping in his tracks when he notices that the table is taken. someone is already sat there.
he just blinks as he processes this information. he lets out a sigh and looks around for another seat, finding an empty table and setting his stuff down to save the spot. he decides that he can wait to get a coffee today, hopefully lessening poor mingyu’s workload a little bit. he pulls out his laptop and starts to reopen the tabs he needs to start this homework.
before he can settle down from the buzz of the crowd into his own rhythm, something catches his eyes from his peripherals. you. had he accidentally chosen a table closer to you while looking for a new place to sit? he wonders, subconsciously straightening himself. he tries to ignore the thought that you’re only a few feet from him, but his heart is pounding in his ears, and it won’t quiet down for the life of him. he lets out a small breath and refocuses, putting on his headphones to hopefully pull his attention away from your presence.
he gets a surprising amount of work done with the amount of movement in the cafe, but something keeps nagging at his nerves. was he imagining the feeling? you could feel it too, right? he felt this tension between the two of you, thick and humid. he shakes his head a bit, fixing the hair falling in his eyes before getting back to work, mentally scoffing. why would you feel it? he’s being delusional.
you sit at your usual table, thankful today of all days that you chose one in the corner of the small cafe. for whatever reason, today the cafe was unfathomably busy. like you-can-barely-breathe-without-being-on-top-of-someone busy. luckily, you got there before it got too busy, so finding a table wasn’t much of an issue for you. you refrained from getting anything, not wanting to put more on mingyu’s shoulders.
you were absorbed in your work, completely focused and getting a shocking amount done until something broke you from your focus. you feel like someone’s eyes were on you? you look around for a moment and shake it off. however, just as you turn to go back to your work, something catches your eye. is that minghao? sitting at the table next to me? oh my god, why is he so close? your mind races.
from this new angle you could clearly see his full body, and god were you right about his style being enviably good. you could now clearly see his hair—dark and a sort of mullet cut with a bit of texture—and his side profile. oh, he was gorgeous. you exhale softly, turning back to your laptop in fear that you looked a little weird staring at someone like that. oh, you’re fucked. you also think, noting that you’ll need to rant to yunjin and lily later today.
you actually manage to get a good amount of work done despite the constant distractions of someone talking too loudly, being uncomfortably close to your seat, and minghao sitting within just a few feet of you. unfortunately, the chaos did not end there.
someone lets out a high-pitched squeal as they trip on someone’s chair leg, spilling their drink on the floor next to you. you look down, sighing when you see it didn't get on you until you feel a wet sensation on your left shin.
you close your eyes and sigh, standing to go get some napkins. before you can even take a step, minghao is on the floor, cleaning up the spill with a handful of paper towels. when did he even leave his seat? he looks up and grabs a few, handing them to you and gesturing to your leg. you take them from his hands, nodding wordlessly as you sit back in your seat, bringing your leg to start wiping down and drying where the drink got on you.
you finish relatively fast—only a bit having gotten on you—eyes trailing to minghao’s form, still on the floor as he gathers his, now wet, paper towels. he stands, your eyes follow, and he starts to make his way to a garbage can. you just sit at your table, now facing your laptop as you think about what just happened, a small, fluttery feeling making its way into your stomach.
day 7
wow, seven days at this cafe? how you haven’t gotten bored yet is beyond you. you’re sitting in your favorite seat as usual, latte and pastry sitting next to your laptop. however, minghao isn’t here yet, somewhat dampening your mood. your laptop is open, but the screen is black. you’ve resorted to just scrolling on your phone for the time being. after about an hour of you being there, minghao still hadn’t shown, and you find yourself scoffing at how crazy you must be. waiting in a cafe for some random person you find attractive. you haven’t even spoken yet!
you gather your things, throw out your trash, and call out a goodbye to mingyu, turning back to look at him waving when you crash into something in front of you. you turn back and let your eyes widen at the sight in front of you. you just ran into minghao. his hand was loosely around your waist, his own eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort as he let go. he clears his throat, and you both stand there for a moment, just looking at one another.
“my bad,” he says, and you almost melt at the way his voice sounds. you nod softly and adjust your bag on your shoulder. “it’s alright,” you say, walking past him and out of the cafe.
minghao stands there for a minute after you leave, just staring off into the distance. a shrill sound pulls him from his mind, eyes moving to where mingyu is doubled over, cackling. minghao furrows his brows, huffing softly and walking back to his table. “my bad” ?!@?@?! that’s it??? that’s the genius flirt you came up with??!@?!? he thinks to himself, absolutely dying in his own skin because what do you mean he had the perfect chance to say something flirty and said, “my bad”?? his first words to you were “my bad” ??
he sits down at his usual table, burying his face in his hands as he cringes at his own actions. mingyu’s laughter dies down after a while, and when minghao brings his head up to see what happened, an iced americano is in front of him. a message in mingyu’s handwriting, in sharpie, splayed across the front of the plastic cup. “MY BAD.” minghao lets out a soft groan and drops his head on the table, sighing to himself.
that’s it. he can’t do that again. next time he sees you, he’s going to act.
day 8
minghao straightens when he watches you walk into the cafe, hiding his phone behind his laptop as he panickedly texts mingyu. for once, he came in before you, coming in with mingyu at the literal opening of the cafe this morning just so he could be there first.
minghao lets out a breath, closes his laptop, and stands up, his feet moving forwards before he can have a second thought about it.
you’re doing work, nodding your head along with whatever song is playing in your headphones, fingers flying over the keys on your keyboard. for lack of a better phrase, you were locked in. that is, until something interrupted your focus. or rather, someone.
a hand taps one of the corners of your laptop screen, and you feel a spark of annoyance before it melts away the second you look up. mingho stares back down at you, and you just blink before pulling your headphones off. “can i help you?” you ask, cursing yourself mentally when you hear your voice wavering a bit. he just looks down at you, swallows, and then blurts something out so fast you’re not even sure it was a real language.
you blink up at him, eyebrows pulled up in confusion. he exhales and speaks slower this time. “you’re really pretty and i’ve seen you here a lot and i was wondering if i could have your number and if we could go like do something tomorrow,” he blurts out, still speaking fast but understandable now. you blink up at him again, eyes wider this time as you practically feel your heart pounding out of your chest.
“uh,” you say, clearing your throat and swallowing before continuing, “yeah, uh, that sounds great.” you watch as his figure untenses and a soft smile takes form on his lips. “great. can i have your phone? i’ll put my number in,” he says, eyes moving to where your phone was before returning to your face. you nod and grab it, unlock it, open it to a new contact, and then pass it to him.
you watch as he bites his lip softly in focus as he puts in his contact information, passing your phone back to you. you look at the screen; he had sent a smiley face to himself. “i’ll text you later, then,” he smiles, turning to walk away. “okay, bye,” you mumble softly, still in shock as to what just happened.
you get up from your seat, getting your stuff together before exiting the cafe (but obviously not without bidding a goodbye to the grinning mingyu), the butterflies in your stomach practically making you want to throw up out of excitement.
TAGLIST: @whoisbaek15, OPEN! (send an ask or comment and i'll be happy to add you :D)
#yourenzoo — `📝` — fics#yourenzoo ― '🗨' ― t.w.o.s.#yourenzoo ― '🗨' ― the weight of silence#xu minghao#minghao#the8#fem reader#x reader#minghao x reader#the8 x reader#fluff#romance#angst#smau#seventeen#svt#jeonghan#joshua#junhui#jun#dokyeom#mingyu#dino#huh yunjin#yunjin#nmixx lily#lily#choi yeonjun#karina
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Emi Plays Revue Starlight: El Dorado Part 10
ok time to finish off the clautaba stageplay bit and we'll see if i'm insane enough for mahiru to start that route or wait til tomorrow after work
uh....cw?: for my brain finally catching onto lines in the play that straight up tell u whats going on but it didnt click til mahiru said the lines
oh right forgot to know who junna n nana are. sounds like junna's luigi so my guesses have been on the mark this time
ALSO I REALIZED THAT KAORUKO N FUTABA ACTUALLY GET TO KISS EACH OTHER ON STAGE THATS NOT FAIR KJHKJSDF
oh interesting. miguel and carmencita are here at the grave
ajsfdf mahiru cavallero is just Immediately Shady As Hell thats very funny. tbf it Does help jam in that cavallero is not offering to take salvatore in outta charity
oo now the ring swap. that fits in better. also god i have to turn the bgm even further down so i can actually hear the voicelines
futaba praise :)
d'awwwww hikari talked a lot about futaba
yknow cavallero does say salvatore has a lusty toned technique is he like. sexually abusing him? not an interpretation i got outta the others but 3rd time reading and mahiru voicing it makes it sound that way
i mean he has to be abusing his sailors in SOME way for them to hate them- it just didnt rlly click that rape was a possible option til now.
ble ble ble columbus
ohohohoho? isabel asking to come along this time. this was the only time til now i actually got that salvatore was the one grabbing isabel n kissing her junna salvatore there was 0 impression for me to Not think it was isabel doing it before running off
kaoruko salvatore at least had lines in the intermission that made it seem so
...
YEAH I RLLY SHOULDA PUT TOGETHER IT WAS SPOSED TO BE RAPE BEFORE NOW- this isnt even subtext why did my brain just assume it was vague physical violence when its just.....obv sexual assault. tsk tsk at the other cavalleros u didnt say ur lines like a predator enough
sometimes i get overly concious of my art mistakes and then starlight goes and puts out an official product i had to pay for with art like this and i'm like 'i'm fine'
i dont even have a team of editors or ppl meant to be checking this stuff. or speak japanese well but i can still tell when they fucked up a line's translation (sometimes)
i think its funny that in the intermissions the gfs of everyone come up to give them water
EXCEPT for nana to junna. futaba gave junna water bc nana was off crying in a corner about her kissing mahiru
well now im just thinking about arisa freaking out at kasumi in bandori s2 skjhf
kiss again. do it you two. kiss again
kaoruko what does THAT even mean
oh my GOD kaoruko i s2g
make allll that fuss about being embarrassed and then have to save face by calling the kiss futaba's "audition" i'm going to bang my head through a wall
yeah yeah obv futaba n claudines performances were inspired by the others
tabun
back to da play. carmencita still does Nothing
oh interesting, actual scenes of alejandro catching up to salvatore. .....ALEJANDRO WHY U HIRE THE BULLIES FROM THE FIRST ACT
ISABEL AS A STOWAWAY????????/ oh boy with all the upheaval to the status quo on this one i cannot WAIT for mahiru route
also i fuckin hate this line ksjfh (not literally but)
all i can think of is
oh i guess you can sail to granada from wherever they started-
it still makes 0 sense to me on how alejandro caught up to salvatore
SJKFH THE CACKLE I LET OUT
isabel using alejandro just to get to salvatore oohh man just rub it in
yeah sorry bud
i like how the eyebrow is hidden by the eyepatch but not the hair
i was wondering what isabel was doin all this time. just watchin i guess. she screams after salvatore jumps ship
rip isabel....still stuck in a destiny thats not of ur choosing
gah i want to mahiru route now. but i know i'll want to play it thru straight. and i have work tomorrow so i cant do that bc gotta get to bed at a semi-reasonable hour. esp if it'll be longer than the other routes like it prob will be
i wonder how tragic it will end...and also presumably where hikari pops in. like i know she's in here SOMEWHERE ksjfdh
<<part 9 part 11>>
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tag game etc
tagged by @solo-uno !! thanks :]
shuffle your on-repeat playlist, then list the first 10 songs
(my current on repeat playlist is. exclusively wrestlers' entrance themes which is boring so. ima do the playlist i usually listen to when i haven't lost my whole min
1)Hurricanes by Rina Sawayama
2) Another Day of Sun from La La Land
3) Brand New City by Mitski
4) Watch Me Shine (Bianca Belair) by CFO$
5) A Lovely Night from La La Land
6) Sky's the Limit (Sasha Banks) by CFO$ (i think)
7) Curses by The Crane Wives
8) Cult of Personality by Living Colour
9) Verbatim by Mother Mother
10) Feed the Machine by Poor Man's Poison
okay the original prompt was "your top 15 favorite shows" but i hate watching shows, so i'm gonna do my favorite video games instead because that seems more representative of. me
Breath of the Wild: the game that turned me into a Gamer
Who's Lila? has a very sweet spot in my heart, as just a very well made small experience that was suitably numb and pretentious but also very emotional
Spiritfarer: waghrsh wahr
Hollow knight: i fucking love it
Inscryption: game play loop breaks my brain
Norco: my brain keeps coming back to this game months after I played it, tiny good indie game with gorgeous art and capital F feelings about living in a tiny dying, industrially choked town. play it
Outer Wilds: sometimes the feelings in this game come back to me and i just. oomph hit in the heart and now im crying
return of the obra dinn!! good
disco elysium: god i should replay this game; it didn't really click for me the first time around but it seems like something i would like
Where the water tastes like wine: playin that right now, and i have mixed feelings about it but its definitely an experience
fear and hunger: a game that didn't really land for me as well as it did for other people but yk. its neat
minecraft: i hate playing this game on my own but i have very good memories of hanging out with my irl friends who i now miss dearly
yakuza 0; a game i have to actually go back and play at some point
the original hyrule warriors, my first video game that i ever played 8 years ago
pathologic at the very bottom of this list because i have a complicated relationship with this game but it did fundamentally change me as a person so. it's earned its spot
absolutely no pressure but here's who's getting tagged!!
@swampbestie @im-new-in-town42 @tubercloset @gayrmlin @existentialcrisisetcetera @god-is-a-dyke @sethjolras @sanpape
if you want to do top 15 for a different form of media (ex: books, looking at you K). yeah go ahead!!
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hi, super unrelated to obey me BUTTTT i was wondering how you handle your request inbox? is that what it’s called? is it ask inbox? nvm you get my point… i think? idk i just imagine it’s very stressful, like do you chose a prompt that interests you first or do you go by the oldest first.
i like to think about how fun it would be to write stuff and posts about my interests — i even think it’d be fun to get requests. however, i also recognize that i don’t think i could handle it. as much as i’d want to write as a hobby, some part of me knows the moment i start getting requests, i will start viewing it more as a job. i bet there are asks that also bring motivation or inspiration but i’m not 100% sure.
i was just curious if you would be willing to give some insight or your personal experience. totally fine if you don’t want to or don’t know how to respond to this. thank you!
hello!! this is different from the stuff i usually get but I'm super happy to answer your questions and try to help out :)
not really sure what it's called either now that i think about it. i think i just call it my inbox?? idk haha. i rarely talk about my tumblr with anyone and actually don't even mention i write just to have to avoid explaining what exactly i write is to someone who doesn't know. the only two people who know are two of my best friends <333 love you guys since i know you might see this <3 although i will say mentioning that youre a tumblr writer always seems to kill the convo haha
usually, i work in the order i get them! right now, i've just made it into the beginning of feburary since i just have so many and i don't want people to feel like picking favorite because ultimately, anons are people who enjoyed my content enough to make a requests and i want to see that through, to let them feel that excitement that someone whos work they liked actually wrote their idea! some requests can be kinda hard to do sometimes, so i usually need more time to do those so i have time to dwell on the idea. but sometimes they just click and i have it done in less than twenty minutes! sometimes i do occasionally fast track a request if i'm very inspired or if it really speaks to me!
the amount of requests can get a little overwhelming at times, but it's so heartwarming to know that many people like the content i make. right now i have 77 unwritten i think? one day i'll make it through all of them but i don't think ill ever get back to 0 /pos
in order to continue writing it has to be fun for you!! it for sure should not feel like a job. i used to write back in 2020 because of all the extra time i had on my hands, and i lost the time to keep up, so in 2023, i migrated here to try and pick it up again. i'm a stem major (bio my beloved <3) and it's my passion but it leaves little room to be creative, so this is my outlet! i feel like it's a good way to express yourself if you couldn't otherwise. i was so excited when i got my first request! i still remember it clearly just because of how excited i was. it's fulfilling to make people happy with something as simple as words that came from my silly little brain
honestly i blew up much faster than i ever thought i would so i still feel like im all too new at this tumblr blog thing. i still learn new things about tumblr all the time, such as custom themes on desktop haha. i've had this account and have been writing since march of last year but i didn't really start to pick up steam until january of this year because i started posting daily to try and get through all my waiting requests just to like, explode probably because of the consistent posting, so if you are still interested in writing, for sure take it slow! if it's just for fun, don't worry and actually try not to be too consistent. if you want to grow quickly, consistency is key no matter what schedule you decide on.
if i get rude requests, which has only happened a few times now, i just don't do them because i don't want to reward that kind of behavior, even if the idea is magnificent. for sure lay out rules if you do plan to go ahead with writing. be firm with them! im not great at that lol. also remember that you aren't obligated to at all! you are the one choosing to be here and you only have to do the ones you want, or none if you choose not to take requests. i like them because it gives me ideas i wouldnt have before because it can be kinda hard to come up with original ideas at the pace i would need them for my daily post. but, the pace i move at is very fast and it even scares me sometimes, so that wouldn't be too much of a problem for you if you chose to write
hope this was helpful and let me know if you need anything else. always happy to help <3
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rating my spotify playlists (in alphabetical order) <3
404 error ethan not found
8/10 - way too sad and yearn-y for this name but i was being gay about stuff and i respect that. points deducted because there was no reason to be sad about this and now ive lost a good name
2. ah yes, the feels
ill be honest fam i dont even remember making this. 6/10 - i dont like these songs anymore but i was going somewhere with the name
3. All the songs you wanna hear right now
3/10 - there is no universe in which i would want to listen to this combo of songs. points added because i like maybe 4 out of the 40 songs in there
4. Apple music who?
??/10 - i dont even know if ive ever listened to this. zero points added for the name, a bit of sympathy bc it was created for f1 reasons
5. bear hug
decent 5/10 - i see where i was coming from and i would like a hug right now
6. brain go brrr
7/10 - brain do be going brrr ive missed these songs
7. do you love me, hate me, I don't understand
9/10 - i wouldn't click on this myself but i would vibe to the songs in a heartbeat and the name fits the vibe
8. fire *cackles*
6/10 - decent songs coupled with some that i simply have zero vibes with
9. get a panda, name him Horse
9/10 - honestly the only reason this doesnt get a 10 is because i havent touched it in years
10. hi *waves* im not the sea
984693/10 - WE FIGURED OUT WHERE I HEARD NO LOVE IN LA FOR THE FIRST TIME other than that not rly my vibe anymore ngl
11. if you dont like my presense why would you invite me
10/10 simply *chefs kiss* i love it, if you dont like my presense why the fuck would you invite me??
12. if you hate the royal family clap your hands
4/10 - honestly points given only for the name
13. listen to this 🔪
currently empty but i dont think i could rate it anyways, i just need to remember to listen to song recs
14. i listened to this now what
follow up of the previous playlist, honestly i dont think i can rate it
15. imyb <3
10/10 playlist for when youre in the feels, name fits so no points deducted for that
16. *insert good playlist name here*
-137/10 - unoriginal name and i swear to god ive seen the same combo of songs in a previous playlist
17. *insert good name here*
3/10 - honestly only stays bc i think i made it for a friend like 4 years ago
18. i wonder if you think of me ✨
10/10 - i do. wonder if you think of me. sometimes. and the songs are seriously fire <3
19. lets see, what do we have here
5/10 - love the artist hate the name, havent touched it in years
20. More Songs I will listen to once and then inevitably go back to Minecraft
3/10 - points for the accurate name but i didnt even remember this existed until now
21. new songs playlist *ahem* lies *ahem*
??/10 - not even gonna rate this one its the millionth time im seeing these fucking songs
22. Oh? Brauchst du einen Name? Ich kann dir nicht helfen
4/10 - points for the name but i fucking. havent listened to these songs in 4 years
23. physics? who is she i dont know her
110/10 - honestly? the reason i made this to begin with who is physics i dont know this woman
24. pretend this has a name
0/10 - unoriginal i kinda like the songs but i havent touched it in so long anyways
25. sea sickness
5/10 - i was going thru my tiktok phase okay
26. songs you listen to instead of going to sleep
5/10 - i guess?? fam i dont remember listening to this i know i used to like the songs but its been like. 5 years.
27. your friendly local neighberhood unhinged screamer
7/10 - lando norris cover in a palaye royale playlist you cant go wrong with this one
28. your voice. gimme.
6.5/10 - listen i was figuring out my gender and corpse has. a Voice.
#today on things i do instead of going to bed at a reasonable time#tw caps#tw emoji#fandomchaos posts#today i found out i have 28 playlists (and i should prooobably delete some). tomorrow? who knows
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i havent liveblogged a piece of media in so long but im reading Another 2001, the sequel (ok..like 3rd sorta cuz there was a weird interlude book between them?) to the novel Another. I didnt read the original novel, but ive read the manga adaptation and watched the anime 100 times. i read the like...prequel to the sequel?? sorta book Another S/0 and it wasnt really my taste, but 2001??? god 2001 is so good so far. im almost 300 pages in, right about to the half way point. i have so many theories.
if this ends up in a main tag pleeeeeease dont spoil me or confirm any of my theories! i just gotta get em outta my brain, theyll probably change as it goes anyway
ok so like. for one i love that we know whos dead from the beginning. akazawa was in grade 3 class 3 in 98 and died in every single adaptation - shes 100% the dead student and its such an interesting shift from the og where the dead student wasnt revealed til the very end.
since ive only seen adaptations of the original, i dont know how much character development akazawa had in it, but the manga and anime both portrayed her as so stuck up and bossy, and downright crazy and evil at the end. its really cool to see her in 2001 being so...chill. she HATED mei in the anime/manga for "failing" at nonexisting (even tho it was her fault not meis) but in 2001 not only is she chill w mei, shes chill with hazumi when she wants to exist again! she blames herself even. its so radically different, i love it. its like despite being dead for 3 years she still kinda grew up? also p cool her only unique characteristic is she likes to collect dinosaur figurines lmao
ok but my THEORIES
so like. i think there was a reason they tried to Start with 2 nonexisters. i think somehow akazawa - who is dead - instinctively knows theres TWO dead students. no idea why, but i genuinely believe there are two dead students. i think when hazumi gave up, it really DID make the calamity start, because sou is cancelling out akazawa and hazumi was canceling out the other dead student.
as to who the other dead student is...im not sure. i had a hunch it was sou himself at first, but itd be really weird for the Phenomenon to build him a whole fucked up ghost based backstory prior to being in 3-3
my other idea was its misaki fujioka. of course, the main issue w that is she looks so much like mei that sou would have mentioned that he saw a girl who looks just like mei considering his gigantic crush on mei lmao every single chapter would mention the girl in his class who looks exactly like mei. unless...hes never seen her. i think makise is off somehow...she feels like an obvious mirror to fujioka. shes hospitalized from the beginning of the year, and fujioka was sick and eventually dead in april, the first month of classes. why she would be going by makise I have no idea, but i think theres something abt her.
partly because when sou goes to the hospital he is drawn to see her room, but he doesnt go. kirika is seen exiting the same hospital occasionally - is she visiting her niece? finally, mei has a difficult time saying misaki fujiokas name all together, in general it was difficult to tell the story of her adoption. the end of it had a similar vibe as when akazawa meets mei or chibiki and the world does that camera click effect as the Phenomenon rewrites peoples memories. is there some reason mei was able to push through that to say her sisters name despite her being alive 3 years after her death?
i think thats really pushing it, tbh. it would be really fucking cool if fujioka was in the class alongside akazawa, but its more likely that if my first theory is right then its just a random other student from a random other year. even then, my 2 dead could very much Also be wrong.
right now thats where my heads at tho.
im at the end of june now, weve lost the class rep in her gnarly pipe to the throat, the other students mother, the biology club leaders insane centipede-bite-shattered-tank-to-the-throat death, and his brother and parents all in one go.
(i will say, having at least 2 deaths at once by now kinda makes me more sure of my 2 dead theory, but its also only the first 2 incidents and doubles have happened before for sure, and technically the club leaders brother and parents died a couple days later so eeeeeh maybe just a coincidence)
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reblogging comment review from @zyafics
too obsessed with this series to stop (i also think it's so hilarious this started as a oneshot request 😭) ur brain just couldn't stop ⬇️
It was a burden you bore silently, the weight of protecting your brother from a world that seemed determined to break you both.
GIGI WROTE HER FOR ME
There were moments, rare and fleeting when you allowed yourself to dream. You imagined a future where you and JJ were free from the chains of your upbringing. But dreams were a luxury you could rarely afford.
god i love ur writing i swear this fic gets better with a new update
“They chew up people like you.” “I’ve been chewed up by worse.”
oooo reader 1: rafe 0 she ate him up
"Change of plans."Before you could react, he pushed you back inside the room, slamming the door shut. He didn’t push you hard enough to fall, but the treason came so suddenly that you nearly lost your balance as you heard the lock click, the sound echoing ominously in the small space.
why was this so clever (also rafe's obsession w locking people in rooms 😭)
So, nothing new, you wanted to tell him. Any place infested with men or drunk men was a trap of its own. But instead, you only offered him a curt nod of thanks before dashing out the door again. You needed to find Rafe, you couldn’t afford to waste any time.
i honestly would've sat in my room n draw or smth

Were you getting mugged?
with no money 😭
His left eye twitched in irritation, the look he gave you filled with enough ire to leave a hint of satisfaction sparking in your chest, “Maybank, I have half a mind to spank you right now, don’t fucking push it.”
hes so kinky (do it)
“Show me.”“Uh?”He nodded towards the gun in your hand. “Show me you know how to handle it.”
i just realized why ur writing is so magnetic; it's because u write almost like a screenplay, like i can visually see all of ur scenes played out on a show or a movie or something; especially your dialogues like it belongs in hollywood
“Atta girl.”
pls sir, just one chance 🛐
“They’re about you.”"Me?" you repeated confused, your voice barely a whisper, as if speaking too loudly would shatter the fragile moment between you. Rafe nodded, scanning your face for any sign of understanding. "Yeah. You."Your brows pulled together, “What is?”He visibly gulped, pressing his lips together, blinking several times before releasing a held breath “The nightmares.”
oh my GODDDD
These were dangerous waters. If you couldn’t sleep before, you sure as hell weren’t about to do it now. All you could think about was that night, how he felt, how he touched you, how he fit right.
im giggling so hard rn
“Tell me stop, please,” His mouth brushed against your ear again, words coming out a slurred mess.
he's so whiny i love him
“Can’t belie—fuck. Can’t believe I get to have you again.”
i'm so quiet during this smut scene bc im enjoying it too much
He collapsed onto you, both of you panting and trembling. His weight was comforting, his breath hot against your neck as he pressed soft kisses to your skin, his earlier roughness giving way to a tender aftermath.
he's so hot ohmyfuckinggod
He cradled your face in his hands. "We’re gonna be okay," his breath felt warm against your lips. The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten with emotion.
back to our regular scheduled program: emotions
"Yeah, I am. This...And—don’t know what I’m doing either. But I want it. I want you."“But it’s wrong.”“I know, pretty.”
they r so enemies to lovers u did this so well
"We’ll figure this out, Maybank.”“Promise?”He hesitated, his brow furrowing slightly. Promises weren’t something he was used to making, you knew that. But then he nodded.“Promise.”
i love them so much i could cry
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
FINAL THOUGHTS | god this smut scene was TOO good i gotta say ur best work to DATE 🤭 okay, okay, but onto the real business. i think what i love about this part (i think this has to be my favorite part by far) is that, like i said, ur writing plays out like a movie. the way you describe things with such beautiful prose and the way their dialogues bounce off each other. i always compliment your dialogues because it's so true, i am in absolute love with the way it feels so rich and organic and unpredictable (not in a bad way). like there's a conventional storytelling to certain scenes/dialogues but you always manage to surpass expectations and make it innovative and engaging! i fucking love how you build the intimacy through rafe and reader through touch and little acts where you have to read between the lines to understand. and when i get them? 🫠 reader is so independent and stands on her own shit which i love and it reminds me a little too much like me (who said that) but overall, for this specific part, i was obsessed with their banter during the gun scene, and during the smut (of course) but just truly, the way you WRITE it's so so incredible. i'm trying to find better words to explain myself. i love how rafe was yearning for her so badly during the smut, but he backed off bc she said so, and kept asking for clarity and she gave it. it gave me butterflies fr (u saw how quiet i was during that whole scene i barely annotated) and i love the way he kept praising her (blushing fr 🥰) because ur dirty talk is TOP TIER!!! and lastly lastly, the way their fears is embedded in things changing and how they have to confront this new reality of them falling for each other 💘
THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - three
request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛"
WARNINGS: maybank!reader; smut!; rafe is a red flag; guns; mentions of human trafficking; 80% of it is smut you've been warned;
word count: 7.9k...
part i; part ii; part iv



Growing up, you had to develop a thick skin. With two deadbeat parents, it wasn't a choice—it was a necessity. Unlike JJ, you never blamed your mother for leaving. She was a victim too, and despite your nightly wishes and prayers that she had taken you with her, you found solace in knowing that at least one of you had escaped the torment of the Maybank household.
You learned early on to rely only on yourself. While you had your younger brother, you never placed that burden on his shoulders. As the older sister, it was your responsibility to take the blame for everything and to shield him from Luke's drunken or drug-fueled rages. You never resented JJ for it, you couldn’t—neither of you asked to be born into this situation.
You tried to take each day slowly, avoiding the house and staying at John B's as much as possible. It was easier said than done; it was hard not to feel like a burden to your friends, especially since you were the one who had to be the adult in the group. Kie, Pope, John B…They weren’t supposed to take care of you. And yet, they did. They took you in, shared their homes, and gave you the semblance of family you craved but never had. It was a delicate balance, living with a foot in both worlds: the chaotic storm of the Maybank household and the calm haven of your friends' places.
At John B's, despite its share of brokenness, it provided a refuge where you could breathe without the constant fear of violence. You often found yourself on the porch, watching the sunset over the marsh, your mind wandering to dreams of freedom. Those moments were precious, tiny pockets of peace in a turbulent life. But no matter how much you tried to distance yourself from the chaos, it was always there, lurking in the background.
Luke Maybank’s shadow was long and dark, and it followed you everywhere. Each time your phone buzzed with a message from JJ, your heart would race, fearing the worst. It was a burden you bore silently, the weight of protecting your brother from a world that seemed determined to break you both.
You eased into being the provider, to think, to act, to protect. It became second nature, an ingrained part of your identity forged from necessity. While others your age worried about trivial matters, you were strategizing the best ways to keep your brother safe, figuring out how to stretch what little money you had, and ensuring that there was always something for JJ to eat, even if it meant you went without.
You learned how to calm Luke down when he was on the brink of a violent outburst, and how to read the signs of an impending storm in his eyes. You figured out which neighbors might turn a blind eye to your requests for help, and which ones might call social services if they saw too much. There were moments, rare and fleeting when you allowed yourself to dream. You imagined a future where you and JJ were free from the chains of your upbringing. But dreams were a luxury you could rarely afford.
So, when Rafe told you—no, demanded—that you stayed in the deadbeat motel room while he met up with his contacts, you lost it.
He'd gotten the text earlier in the morning and decided he was smart enough to lure you out of this. Except he wasn't.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not going.”
You didn’t take it lightly to people making choices for you. Your eyebrows shot up, mouth opening in indignant shock, "You think you can just order me around like I'm some puppet? I'm not staying here while you go off and do God knows what.”
Rafe's eyes narrowed. He wasn’t used to people standing up to him, and for a moment, he looked like he might’ve backed down. But then his expression hardened, the arrogance, and entitlement you’d grown to familiarize yourself with flaring up again.
"It's for your own good," he said, his tone condescending. "You don't understand the kind of people I'm dealing with. It's dangerous."
"Dangerous?" you laughed, a harsh, bitter sound. "You think I don’t know what danger is? Look around, Cameron.”
Rafe opened his mouth to retort, but you cut him off, stepping closer and jabbing a finger into his chest. You’d done a lot of that recently.
"It’s my life on the line too,” you said, your voice low and steady. "And I’m not going to sit here and wait for you to come back like some obedient little bitch.”
His face practically matched the color of the deep red curtains, “You’re making this a lot harder than it needs to be, Maybank.”
"No, you are," you fired back. "I’m going with you.”
“No.”
“I wasn’t asking.”
He took a step away from you, fingers pointed at his temples, “What part of fucking dangerous do you not get?”
“If it’s dangerous for me, it’s dangerous for you.”
The defiance in your fixed look mirrored his own stubbornness. Rafe’s jaw clenched, the muscles in his neck tensing visibly. His gaze bore into yours, and you’d be damned if you were the first one to look away.
“This isn’t a game,” he said, his voice tight with frustration. “You have no idea what these people are capable of.”
“Maybe not,” you conceded, “But I’m not staying behind and you’re not going alone.”
He let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand along his grown-out hair.
“They chew up people like you.”
“I’ve been chewed up by worse.”
He knew that. For a moment it looked like he might’ve argued. And then, he saw the determination in you, that unyielding resolve that drove him up the fucking walls and he understood that he wasn’t going to win the fight. Unless he played dirty.
“You’re too stubborn, y’know that, right?”
You chose to ignore him, grabbing the simple sweater he’d gotten for you the day before at a local market, “So, when do we leave?”
He almost sprinted to the door, “Now.”
You moved to follow him as he stepped outside into the hallway, but before you could follow, he grabbed your arm.
"Wait."
You almost pulled away, frustration boiling over.
"What now?"
His grip tightened, "This might hurt.”
"What?" You tried to twist free, glaring at him.
"Change of plans."
Before you could react, he pushed you back inside the room, slamming the door shut. He didn’t push you hard enough to fall, but the treason came so suddenly that you nearly lost your balance as you heard the lock click, the sound echoing ominously in the small space.
"Rafe! You piece of shit!” You pounded on the door, fury and panic mixing in your chest. "Let me out! You can't do this!"
His voice was muffled but firm from the other side. "Stay here.”
"You motherfucker!" You screamed, kicking the door. But there's no response from the other side. The only sound was the echo of your own frantic breathing. He was gone, the stupid bastard.
You collapsed against the door, your breath coming in ragged gasps. Rafe just left you there, locked like some helpless child. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall.
You were a Maybank, damn it, and Maybanks didn’t back down from a fight, even when their choices were taken from them.
In any other situation, you would’ve jumped out the window. You’d done it enough times back home, but this was different. Your room’s floor was too high and even though you could get away with just a few scrapes or a broken finger, you couldn’t risk putting yourself in such a vulnerable state. You needed your body intact in case danger was nearby. If you had to run for your life, you needed both legs functioning.
You glanced around the room, eyes landing on the bed, its frame sturdy and dependable.
That’s it! You thought to yourself as you rushed over and began to strip the sheets from the mattress, working quickly as you tied them together, creating a makeshift rope.
And they said pogues weren’t fucking smart.
It wasn’t your best work, but it was the best you could have under the circumstances. Once you had fashioned the rope, you secured one end to the bed frame, testing it to ensure it could hold your weight. Satisfied that it was sturdy enough, you tossed the other end out the window, watching as it unfurled down the side of the building.
Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you gripped the makeshift rope tightly and began to lower yourself out the window. It wasn’t your first rodeo; you knew better than to rush. Your heart pounded in your chest as you slowly inched your way down the side of the building, the ground looming ever closer with each passing moment.
Finally, your feet touched solid ground, and you released a breath you didn't realize you were holding. You tried to remember bits and pieces of information Rafe had laid out the night before, about the meeting, something about a dingy marine bar, a bartender named Miguel.
You rushed back inside the motel, ignoring the puzzled look from the front desk guy as you practically demanded information about the bar. He hesitated clearly taken aback by your urgency, the way you blurted out the words, but you didn’t have time for explanations.
"Just tell me where it is," you pleaded, your voice urgent, “It’s important.”
After a moment of hesitation, he relented, quickly scribbling down an address on a piece of paper and thrusting it into your hand.
"It's not far from here," his tone was wary, "But be careful. That place is no good for a lady on her own.”
So, nothing new, you wanted to tell him. Any place infested with men or drunk men was a trap of its own. But instead, you only offered him a curt nod of thanks before dashing out the door again. You needed to find Rafe, you couldn’t afford to waste any time.
You nearly raced through the streets, the address clutched tightly in your hand, a feeling of unease gnawing at the pit of your stomach. And then, before you could process what the hell was going on, a hand enveloped your upper arm, fingers digging dip in your flesh before you could make a turn, dragging you to the dark alley you’d avoided.
The situation felt all too familiar. Your heart leaped into your throat, adrenaline surging in and out of your veins. Instinctively, you struggled against the unknown grip, kicking and clawing in a desperate attempt to break free. Were you getting mugged?
"Let go of me!" you shout, your voice echoing off the narrow walls of the alley, “I got nothing on me, let me go you stupid fuck!”
With a surge of adrenaline, you mustered all your strength and delivered a sharp elbow to your captor's stomach, causing them to grunt in pain and loosen their hold for a brief moment. You wrenched yourself free, stumbling backward as you scrambled to put some distance between you and your attacker. You were about to land the best punch of your life as you spun around to face them, but as you finally got a good look at him, fear turned into anger.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!”
“Me?” Rafe barked, all up in your personal space, “What the fuck is wrong with you? You jumped out a fucking window?!”
He knew you wouldn’t back down so easily. So he waited around the corner, hoping you were smart enough to keep still even though he knew you would never.
You blinked, the shock of seeing him in front of you momentarily overriding your anger. "You... You locked me in there!"
"Yeah, because you wouldn't listen!" he shot back, his frustration evident in his tone, “Fuck—Jesus fucking Christ.” He was shaking his head wildly, his hands balled into fists as he cursed away like a mantra.
"I told you; I'm not staying behind while you go off risking your life!" You nearly spit but managed to tone down just enough.
"And I told you, it's too dangerous for you!" Rafe's voice rose with each word, his hands balling into fists at his sides. His pacing intensified, his agitation palpable in the confined space of the alley. “What the hell were you thinking? What were you gonna do? Walk in and what, huh? You don't even have a gun on you!"
“So? Give me yours!”
Rafe’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Give you, my gun?! Did you hit your fucking head against the concrete?
“I’ll hit your head against the concrete if I have to.”
His left eye twitched in irritation, the look he gave you filled with enough ire to leave a hint of satisfaction sparking in your chest, “Maybank, I have half a mind to spank you right now, don’t fucking push it.”
You ignored him, “You’d rather I go in there unarmed?” you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm, “I can do it.”
“Clearly. Look at you,” Rafe’s voice was sharp, his frustration evident. “You think I wanted to leave you behind? You think I liked putting you in that room?”
“You didn't give me a choice! You think I was just gonna sit around waiting for you?”
Rafe sighed, palms pressing into his eyes “I’m trying to protect you, God fucking damn it. I’m trying to keep you safe.”
“Save it,” You hissed out, pressing a hand to your chest as though to keep everything in. “How am I supposed to trust you when you pull this—this shit!”
Rafe reached into the waistband of his trousers, his movements slow and deliberate. Your breath caught in your throat as he pulled out his gun, lifting his shirt in the process. He took your hand and dropped it into your palm, his touch firm.
“Show me.”
“Uh?”
He nodded towards the gun in your hand. “Show me you know how to handle it.”
The sudden shifts in his attitude always left you speechless. You hesitated, staring at the weapon in your hand. You had never held a gun before, let alone fired one. But the authority in Rafe’s eyes spurred you to action. With trembling fingers, you checked the safety and made sure the gun was loaded, trying to mimic what you had seen in movies.
“Alright,” Rafe said, his voice low. “Now, point it at me.”
You only gaped in disbelief. “What?!”
“I said point it at me,” he repeated, his tone firm, “C’mon.”
You swallowed hard, your grip tightening on the gun. This was crazy. With shaky hands, you raised the gun, aiming it at Rafe’s chest. Your heart pounded in your ears, the weight of the weapon feeling heavier with each passing second.
“Good,” Rafe said, nodding in approval. “Now, pull the trigger.”
“What the hell?! Rafe?!”
“Trust me, Maybank, just once.”
Your breath caught in your throat.
Pull the trigger? He wasn’t fucking serious, was he? You couldn’t actually shoot him, could you?
But Rafe’s expression remained steady, unwavering. Maybe months ago you would’ve done it without a second guess, now? “I’m not pulling the trigger.”
“Just do it. You’re not going to hurt me, okay?”
With a deep breath, you squeezed the trigger, half expecting the gun to recoil in your hand. But nothing happened. You had forgotten to chamber a round. He knew that already.
Rafe’s mouth twitched in a half-smile, as if the entire situation was normal, “You forgot to chamber a round.”
You watched him carefully, his bottom lip stuck out and, embarrassingly, you found you wanted to kiss him. You lowered the gun, your hands shaking with adrenaline. You had just fired a weapon for the first time in your life. He reached out and gently took the gun from your hand, expertly chambering a round before handing it back to you.
“Try again.”
This time, when you aimed the gun at the wall and pulled the trigger, you felt the recoil jolt along your body as the bullet fired. The sound echoed off the walls of the alley, causing your heart to race even faster.
“Atta girl.”
“I’m still pissed, Cameron.”
“I know,” Rafe conceded, his voice softening slightly as he reached up to brush your hair from your eye, fingers grazing the side of your neck. “I panicked, okay?”
You studied him for a moment, taking in the tired lines around his eyes, the way his shoulders sagged with exhaustion. He’d done so much for you over the past weeks, it shook you to the core. The countless times he had gone above and beyond, selflessly putting your needs before his own. So maybe, just maybe…you could let it go.
“Okay.”
"Let's go.”
“Wait, right now?”
“Yeah,” Rafe said, his tone brisk as he holstered the gun. "We’re late.”
⋆ ✧・゚: *✧・゚⋆ ✧・゚: *✧・゚⋆ ✧・゚: *✧・゚⋆ ✧・゚: *✧・゚⋆ ✧・゚: *✧・゚⋆ ✧・゚: *✧・゚
Hours later, you collapsed onto the bed, the weight of what just transpired settling heavily on your shoulders, as you and Rafe sat in silence, the events of the meeting replaying in your mind like a broken record. You’d never met such a group of people before. And you didn’t want to, ever again.
"Human traffickers," you muttered, the words feeling foreign on your tongue. "I can't believe we just met with human traffickers."
Rafe nodded solemnly; his expression unreadable. "Yeah.”
"I don't trust them. What if... What if they decide to snatch us up and... Oh my god, what if this is all just a ploy..."
“Hey, look at me,” he said, voice weirdly soft, “We’re in this together, okay? I won’t let anything happen to you.”
You wanted to believe him.
Your brow furrowed, your mind racing with questions. “How do you even know these people?”
He hesitated, “Barry. It’s... a long story. But right now, what’s important is that we got a way out, yeah?”
You nodded slowly, realizing that asking him for more information wouldn’t get you anywhere. There were more important matters at hand.
You didn’t know what was worse, running from Ward Cameron, finding yourself at the mercy of human traffickers, or potentially developing feelings for someone who’d ruined so many lives.
God, if your brother saw you now…you’d be the greatest disappointment of his life. The mere idea consumed you entirely. The things you’d done.
The way you’d let Rafe into your bloodstream. You hated yourself for it. Everything felt like it was spiraling out of your grasp, and you hated it.
What would you even tell him? You didn’t even know if had made it, but something told you that he did. He always did. And that meant that sooner or later you’d see him, and you’d have to watch him gradually despise you.
And then there was Rafe. The very thought of him made you want to stop breathing altogether. How could you even begin to reconcile the feelings you harbored for someone who had brought so much pain and destruction into your life? It felt like a betrayal to even consider it.
“You good, Maybank?”
You dragged your gaze away from the swirling fan on the ceiling to meet Rafe's concerned stare. He was studying you intently. You shifted on the bed, turning to face him fully.
"I don’t know,” you muttered, forcing a weak smile that didn't quite reach your eyes, “You?”
He reached out to gently tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His touch always surprised you, how surprisingly light it felt, a stark contrast to the chaos that seemed to constantly surround him.
“I don’t know.”
He had every reason to abandon you, to wash his hands clean of the entire situation, but he hadn’t. You nodded, a lump forming in your throat. It was hard to believe that someone like him could be capable of such tenderness, such vulnerability. But there he was, lying beside you, his attention fixed on you with an intensity that made your heart race.
“They’re about you.”
"Me?" you repeated confused, your voice barely a whisper, as if speaking too loudly would shatter the fragile moment between you.
Rafe nodded, scanning your face for any sign of understanding. "Yeah. You."
Your brows pulled together, “What is?”
He visibly gulped, pressing his lips together, blinking several times before releasing a held breath “The nightmares.”
You almost stopped breathing, "What about them?"
He shifted uncomfortably, “They used to be just about my mom. Then dad. Now, it’s—uh, it’s just you. Ever since that night, it’s just you. Dying, because of—yeah.”
Oh.
You hadn’t realized the extent of the impact that night had on him, on both of you. It was a lot to process, the realization that you had become a part of his nightmares, a constant haunting presence in his thoughts. Rafe’s fingers brushed over the scar on your arm, and a rush of memories flooded your mind. The gunshots, the crippling fear you felt when they got to you, how Rafe reacted, how he touched you.
“You should’ve told me before.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
You flinched instinctively at his touch, the sensation sending a jolt of electricity through your body. But as it lingered, a strange sense of comfort washed over you, like a balm soothing an old wound. For a moment, you let yourself lean into his touch, allowing the warmth of his hand to chase away the ghosts that haunted you.
"Does it still hurt?" He asked, leaning in so his nose brushed against yours; it was warm against your skin.
You shook your head, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. "Not anymore."
His fingers continued their path up, eventually reaching your cheek as he cupped it tenderly, carefully, as if he’d break you if he rushed it.
You closed your eyes, savoring the closeness between you. And then, almost hesitantly, you felt him lean in, his mouth brushing against yours in a delicate caress. You hardly had to move to kiss him, only tilting your chin up. It was tender, different from the ones you had before, just so quiet that it made you want to burst into tears.
Once again, you felt a rush of conflicting emotions coursing between you. Guilt, fear, desire, all intertwined in a tumultuous dance within your heart.
You kissed him back, tentatively at first, then with a growing hunger that mirrored the longing you felt deep within your soul. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as if afraid to let you slip away. And you melted into his embrace, your bodies fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the dangers lurking in the shadows, not the weight of your past sins, not the uncertain future that lay ahead. All that existed was the intoxicating feeling between you and Rafe.
But as the kiss deepened, a voice of reason scolded you in the back of your mind, reminding you of the consequences of your actions. You pulled away, breathless and dizzy, your heart pounding in your chest.
“We shouldn’t…” you mumbled, your voice barely audible over the beating of your heart.
Rafe only stared, before he nodded, understanding dawning in him. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his touch lingering like a promise of things left unsaid.
“I know,” he sighed, “Just get some rest.”
You nodded in agreement, grateful for the distraction. With a heavy grunt, you lifted yourself off the bed, making your way to the bathroom to change into some booty shorts and a simple tee. When you emerged from the bathroom, Rafe was already settled on the bed, only in his boxers, his attention fixed on some point in the distance. You hesitated for a moment before joining him, the distance and closeness between you feeling suffocating.
You wanted to say something, anything to break the tension, but the words stuck in your throat like a lump of lead. Instead, you settled for a nod, and a quiet “Goodnight.”
You slipped under the covers, the warmth of the blankets cocooning you in a false sense of security.
“Night, pretty Maybank.”
You shut your eyelids, willing your racing mind to quiet down. But no matter how hard you tried, sleep eluded you, slipping through your fingers like grains of sand. Every creak of the floorboards, every distant sound of passing cars sent a shiver down your spine, your senses heightened to the point of paranoia. You shifted restlessly in bed, the new sheets tangling around your legs like shackles, trapping you in a prison of your own making.
You heard Rafe's voice beside you, breaking the silence of the room, “Can’t sleep if you keep moving.”
“Sorry.”
Rafe reached out, his hand finding yours in the darkness, “What is it?”
“I can’t sleep.”
Rafe's hand tightened around yours, "I know, Maybank," he spoke in a ushed tone, "But you're safe here. Try to relax, okay?"
You squeezed your eyes shut, already feeling the upcoming headache, “I don’t know how to.”
It was quiet again for a minute and you feared you’d bored the man to sleep with your insecurities, but then he spoke again, “Turn around.”
You opened your eyes, even though you could barely see him, face twisting into confusion.
“What?”
Rafe's thumb gently brushed against the back of your hand in a soothing rhythm, “Turn round f’me, kay?”
With a soft sigh, you shifted, turning onto your side to face away from him.
Rafe moved closer, his body pulling against yours as he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you snugly against his chest. His warmth enveloped you like a shield as he pressed a light kiss to the back of your neck, his lips lingering against your skin.
“There,” he whispered, his breath tickling your ear. “Better?”
Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
These were dangerous waters. If you couldn’t sleep before, you sure as hell weren’t about to do it now. All you could think about was that night, how he felt, how he touched you, how he fit right.
Your pulse quickened, and your skin tingled. An almost overwhelming feeling of arousal took over you, and with whatever courage you had left from the day, you shifted again, pressing yourself impossibly closer to him. His warmth seeped into your skin, melting away the tension that had coiled tight in your muscles during the day, you could feel every ridge and turn of his body.
Your touch drew a low, guttural groan from Rafe, his breath hot against your skin as he pressed closer, his arousal unmistakable against your back. His teeth grazed your shoulder, followed by the flick of his tongue, and you released a breathy sigh as he lowered his head to bite the area.
His arm tightened around you as you traced the contours of his fingers, mapping out the familiar territory with ease and want. His heartbeat echoed against your back, a steady rhythm that matched the frantic beat of your own heart.
His lips brushed against your neck, sending a jolt of electricity straight to your core, “Relax,” he murmured, his voice low and hoarse with purpose, “’M right here.”
With a boldness that surprised even yourself, you shifted your hips, grinding back against him, seeking the friction that would ease the ache between your legs and your head. Rafe's response was immediate, his hands roaming over your body with a fervor that left you dizzy. His fingers found their way to the hem of your shorts, teasing the sensitive skin with feather-light touches that sent shivers down your spine. You twisted your fingers into his long hair, tugging lightly, delighting in the gasp it pulled from him.
“Tell me stop, please,” His mouth brushed against your ear again, words coming out a slurred mess.
You ran you finger over his leg, where his boxers had risen, the warm skin driving you insane. If you lifted your fingers just a little higher, you’d be able to feel all of him.
You had to bite back a squeal when his thumb brushed over your covered nipple, “I can’t.”
You felt the tension in his muscles as he paused for a moment, his grip on you tightening. An unrestrained, almost desperate plea escaping his mouth, "Are you sure?"
You swallowed hard, the weight of his question settling over you. The uncertainty, the fear, and the desire all came down together in a chaotic swirl. This was so fucking wrong. But underneath it all, you knew what you wanted. You turned your head slightly, your lips grazing his jawline as you muttered a "Yes."
You gasped when Rafe raised his thigh, placing it between your own, as he used his hands on your hips to guide you back and forth, grinding you down against his skin. You couldn’t remember a time you’d ever felt so out of control, so desperate for someone’s touch. The thin barrier of your shorts and panties felt like an unbearable hindrance, a small but significant obstruction to the shattering desire coursing through your veins.
One of his hands slipped under the waistband of your panties, the other splaying across your stomach, holding you firmly in place. His fingers found you slick and ready, a whimper vibrating across his chest at the discovery.
“Fuck,” he breathed out, his fingers starting a slow, torturous rhythm against your clit. You bucked against his hand, seeking more, needing more. Your head fell back against his shoulder, and you turned slightly to capture his lips in a heated kiss. You felt his tongue press against yours and you nearly came on the spot. He slowly circled your clit, sending your hips jerking into him, “I can’t stop touching you.”
You struggled to form words as breathy moans escaped your mouth, “Please don’t,” you rasped, your thoughts blurring as he dipped the tips of his fingers inside you, gathering your wetness. When you finally found your voice, it was a mere screech, “Rafe...”
“I’ve got you,” he murmured back, finally pushing two fingers inside you, at an agonizing pace, “I’ve got you.”
Your jaw went slack as he curled his thick fingers, a gasp escaping when he found that spot that made you see stars. Your nails involuntarily dug into his skin. The heel of his hand pressed against your clit, pulling another moan from you. With his other hand still on your hip, he pushed you back, guiding you to grind against his fingers.
The rhythm he set was maddening, each movement driving you closer to the edge. Rafe's breath was hot against your neck, his voice a growl as he removed his fingers, making you whine in protest.
He glided one between your folds, the wetness easing up the process, “You’re so fucking perfect,” he muttered, his words sending a thrill down your spine. “Can’t get enough of you.”
“Ra—You’re gonna make me cum,” you gasped as his arm left your waist, sliding underneath your ribcage and resting on your chest, kneading your breast through the fabric of your shirt, “Fuck.”
“Yeah, baby, that’s the point,” he purred into your ear, two fingers sliding inside you again, so suddenly you threw your head back again, thighs clenching together tightly as he pumped his fingers in and out.
At this point, you were lightheaded, fucking yourself back onto him, grinding down as you chased your orgasm.
“Don’t stop,” you begged, your voice trembling with desperation. “Please, Rafe...”
His fingers quickened their pace, each thrust sending oceans of pleasure down your body. “Not stopping,” he promised, his voice a rough whisper. “Want to feel you cum around my fingers.”
His words sent you spiraling, the buzz building to an unbearable peak. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your body trembling with the intensity of your approaching climax. Rafe's touch was relentless, his fingers curling inside you, hitting that perfect spot over and over.
“Rafe—” you cried out, your voice breaking as your orgasm crashed over you, wave after wave of intense pleasure radiating from your core. Your body convulsed, and you clung to him, nails digging into his arm as you rode out the ecstasy.
Rafe held you without a break, his fingers never slowing, drawing out every last tremor of your release. When you finally came down, breathless and spent, he gently withdrew his fingers, not giving you a break to breathe as he shuffled behind you, pulling his boxers down, just enough to release his aching cock, doing the same to you as he slid his length between your folds.
The sensation was…everything, his heaviness pressing against your sensitive, slick entrance, the heat of him making you shiver. You bit your lip, suppressing a scream as Rafe's hand gripped your hip, holding you steady.
“Fuck,” you breathed out, barely able to form coherent thoughts. The anticipation coiled inside you again, your body already aching for him, “’M sensitive.”
“Shhhh,” he purred, his voice husky and all rough against your ear. “Just relax, pretty.”
He rocked his hips slowly, the head of his fat cock teasing your entrance, not pushing in but sliding between your folds, spreading your wetness over his length. Holy fuck, you’d gone to heaven. The friction was maddening, each movement sending volumes of satisfaction through you.
Rafe's breath hitched, his grip on your hip tightening as he struggled for control. “You feel so good,” he groaned, his voice thick with desire. “So perfect.”
“Oh my god,” you sigh, biting your lip when his tip bumped against your clit, “I need you to—Shit, just fuck me.”
With a slow, deliberate motion, he angled his hips and began to push inside you, inch by tantalizing inch. The stretch was exquisite, slowly filling you in a way that left you gasping, your body accommodating him with a shuddering breath.
“Jesus,” Rafe hissed, his head dropping to rest against your shoulder as his cock twitched inside you. “So tight.”
Your fingers dug into the sheets, the thrill and the sensation of being filled to the hilt almost too much to bear. You could feel every part of him, the way he throbbed inside you, the way his body fit perfectly against yours. You felt his breathing against your skin, coming out in uneven and ragged breaths.
He started a slow, steady rhythm, each thrust measured and deep, pulling out almost completely before pushing back in. His other hand found your breasts, kneading the sensitive flesh through your shirt, sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core.
You couldn’t hold back the mewls that escaped your lips, each movement driving you higher, the tension building again rapidly. Rafe’s breath was ragged against your ear, his lips brushing your skin in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. He gently bit your earlobe, withdrawing his hips until only the tip of him remained inside you, before slowly pushing back in with deliberate, languid movements. You reached back, tangling your fingers in his hair once again.
“Rafe... harder, please,” you begged, shame thrown out the window, “I need it harder.”
He moaned, the sound vibrating through his chest as he complied, his hips snapping against you with more force, the sound of skin against skin filling the room. His hand slid down from your chest to your clit, circling the sensitive nub in time with his thrusts, driving you closer to the edge.
You felt the familiar coil of pleasure tightening, your body tensing as you teetered on the brink.
“Can’t belie—fuck. Can’t believe I get to have you again.”
You curved your back again, meeting his thrusts with equal fervor, your body craving the release that was so close. His hand on your clit moved in time with his hips, each touch sending you spiraling higher.
“I can’t hold on much longer,” you gasped, your voice barely more than a breathless whimper.
“Then let go,” Rafe growled, his fingers pressing harder against your clit. “Cum for me, baby. I want to feel you.”
You groaned, “I want to see you when I do.”
Before he could answer, you pulled away from him, making him groan in response, but you shut him up as you turned to face him, dragging your shorts and panties out of the way, not looking where you threw them as you quickly lifted your body and settled over his, hands pressed to his naked chest as you rubbed yourself against him.
Rafe's hands gripped your hips firmly as you positioned yourself above him, “You trying to kill me, pretty Maybank?”
You smirked, leaning down to press a quick peck against his lips, “Yeah.”
Without any warning, you lowered yourself onto him, both gasping at the sensation of being joined once again. He filled you completely, stretching you in the most delicious way, his tip touching your cervix. Your movements were slow at first, savoring all of him, every sensation that rippled from end to end of your body. But soon, the slow burn of desire ignited into a raging inferno, and you found yourself moving faster, chasing that peak of pleasure one more time.
“Get this fucking thing off,” He growled, pulling at your shirt. You would’ve found it funny if you weren’t so desperate to feel him.
You sat up, quickly tugging the shirt over your head and tossing it aside. Rafe's eyes darkened with lust as he took in your bare chest, his hands immediately finding your tits, thumbs brushing over your nipples in a way that made you gasp and arch into his touch. You started to move again, lifting yourself up before sinking back down onto him, each movement sending waves of desire through both of you.
A filthy kiss followed, all spit and tongues tangling messily as if trying to devour each other whole. The taste of him filled your mouth, a heady mixture of the cigarettes and toothpaste, his moans mingling with yours. The kiss was a brutal assault, his teeth nipping at your lips, drawing blood, which only seemed to fuel the frenzied rhythm of your body. Rafe's grip on your hips tightened, guiding your movements, and encouraging you to take him deeper, pounding into you, abs flexing.
You leaned forward, your hands bracing against his sturdy chest, the new angle allowing him to hit even deeper inside you. The room was filled with the sound of your heavy breathing, your cries, and the rhythmic, filthy, slap of skin against skin.
“Fuck, this pussy can’t be real,” Rafe groaned, his eyes locked onto yours, the intensity of his gaze making your heart race. “Ride me harder, baby. Wanna watch you.”
You increased your pace, the friction and fullness driving you closer to the edge with each thrust. His hands moved from your hips to your waist, holding you steady as you moved, his touch grounding you even as you felt like you were about to come apart at the seams. His thumb found your clit again, rubbing it in tight, precise circles that had you crying out his name.
“Oh god, Rafe, I’m so close,” you panted, your body trembling with the effort to hold back your release, wanting to savor every second of this moment.
“Cum for me, pretty,” he urged his voice rough and filled with need. “I want to feel you cum all over my cock.”
That was all it took. With a loud moan, you came, your body convulsing around him, your nails digging into his chest as the phases of your pleasure crashed over you. Rafe watched you, his expression one of pure awe and desire, his hands never leaving your body, grounding you through your orgasm. As your climax subsided, your breathing ragged and your limbs trembling, he gently kissed your temple, his lips soft and tender. He murmured soothing words, his voice a sexy whisper that sent shivers down your spine. You felt his heartbeat, steady and strong against your own racing pulse, a reminder of the connection between you. His fingers traced lazy circles on your back, calming you, bringing you back to earth.
But as the waves subsided, you became acutely aware of Rafe's cock still hard and throbbing inside you. His breath was ragged, his eyes void of any color, and you knew he was on the brink. You lifted yourself slightly, feeling him slip almost out of you before you sank back down, taking him deep again, despite the way your thighs burned, the way your hole ached.
"Rafe," you called, "I want to feel you cum inside me."
His grip on you tightened, his eyes briefly closing as a guttural moan escaped his lips. He released you for a moment, only to bring his hand down sharply, delivering a stinging smack to your ass, "Watch your fucking mouth.”
The sudden impact made you gasp, the pain amplifying your desire.
Rafe's eyes snapped open, dark and intense as he watched your reaction. "You like that, don't you?" he growled, "Look at you."
You could only nod, breathless and aching for more. His hands returned to your hips, guiding your movements with a renewed urgency. The sting from the slap lingered, a delicious reminder of his dominance, the only place you'd let him take the lead.
You started to move again, your pace slow and deliberate, your movements designed to drive him wild. Each time you sank onto him, you could feel him throbbing, his control slipping with every passing second. His hands roamed over your body, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he tried to hold on.
"Please, baby," you whined, "I need to feel you cum."
The pet name did it. His response was immediate. With a growl, he shifted, flipping you onto your back and pinning you beneath him.
The sudden change made you gasp, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he drove into you with a powerful thrust. His pace was relentless, his movements fueled by a desperate need to reach his release. His face was a mask of intense concentration, his jaw clenched as he pounded into you. The sounds of your “oh’s” mixed with his grunts, creating a symphony of raw passion. You could feel the tension coiling inside him, the way his body strained against yours, every muscle taut with anticipation.
"Gonna fill you up,” he grounded out, his voice strained, "So fucking close."
You tightened your legs around him, pulling him deeper, your nails raking down his back, leaving red trails in their wake. "Cum for me, baby," you urged, your desire reigniting at the thought of him finding his release, “Need you so bad.”
His eyes snapped open, locking onto yours with a feral intensity. "You want my cum?" he growled, thrusting harder, making you cry out in pleasure. "Beg for it."
"Please, Rafe," you gasped, feeling the pressure building inside you, "Fill me up. I need it. I need you."
With a final, powerful thrust, Rafe's body stiffened, his head dropping to rest against your shoulder as he let out a hoarse cry. You felt the hot rush of his release, the pulsing of his cock as he emptied himself inside you. His entire body trembled, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps as he rode out his orgasm. You could feel him pulsing, the warmth flooding you as he let out a primal growl, his grip on you almost bruising. And right there, another orgasm ripped through you, your body tightening around him as you cried out his name.
He collapsed onto you, both of you panting and trembling. His weight was comforting, his breath hot against your neck as he pressed soft kisses to your skin, his earlier roughness giving way to a tender aftermath.
You held him close, your hands running soothingly over his back, feeling the ridges of the muscles you had just marked with your nails. your own body still buzzing with the aftermath of your pleasure. When he finally lifted his head, his eyes met yours, a look of pure adoration in his gaze that rendered you speechless. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a tender, lingering kiss, his touch kind and reverent.
He cradled your face in his hands. "We’re gonna be okay," his breath felt warm against your lips. The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten with emotion.
Tears welled up in your eyes as Rafe's lips touched yours again, the faint tender kiss a stark contrast to the man you used to know. You tried to hold back, to keep the overwhelming tide at bay, but the dam broke, and a sob escaped your lips.
He pulled back slightly, concern etched across his pretty features. "Hey," he murmured, his thumb brushing away the tears that spilled down your cheeks. "What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?"
You shook your head, "No, it’s not that," your voice trembled, “I’m scared.”
Rafe's expression softened, thumbs gently caressing your cheeks. "Shh, it's okay," he soothed his voice a comforting balm to your frayed nerves. "Let it out, baby. I’m right here."
You buried your face in his chest, your tears soaking into his skin. The warmth of his embrace, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and the gentle strength of his hold were the only thing keeping you together at this point and if you didn’t feel so much, you’d feel pathetic for relying so much on someone else. He held you tightly, his hand stroking your hair as you cried, releasing the pent-up fear and anxiety.
"We—I, I don’t know what I’m doing," you admitted through your tears, your voice muffled against his chest. "I’m really, really scared.”
Rafe kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering in a gesture of reassurance. "I know, Maybank," he whispered, his voice steady and unwavering. "I’m scared too.”
You pulled back slightly, looking up at him through tear-filled eyes. "You are?" you asked, almost in disbelief.
He nodded, his attention never wavering from features.
"Yeah, I am. This...And—don’t know what I’m doing either. But I want it. I want you."
“But it’s wrong.”
“I know, pretty.”
He pulled out slowly, both of you hissing at the sensitivity. Rolling onto his side, he gathered you into his arms, holding you close. You nestled against his chest.
“I’m sorry for jumping out the window,” you murmured, your voice muffled against his skin, “You just...make me so angry.”
He chuckled softly, his fingers running through your hair in soothing strokes. "I shouldn’t have locked you in.”
You closed your eyes, feeling the last of your tears dry against his skin. The comfort of his embrace, his steady presence, was grounding you. You knew things wouldn’t be easy, but his reassurance gave you strength. After a while, Rafe shifted slightly, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze.
"We’ll figure this out, Maybank.”
“Promise?”
He hesitated, his brow furrowing slightly. Promises weren’t something he was used to making, you knew that. But then he nodded.
“Promise.”
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Do you have a tip for making wallpapers? :)
i just did one in my life cuz i got overwhelmed by having to do all swatches three times for the wall heights :/
Hey! I feel this so hard asdfghjhgfds. Honestly? My main saviour is organisation - and as possibly the messiest and least organised person you will ever meet, i dont say that lightly asdfghjhgfdsdfghjk. im gonna pop it under the cut so i dont slap a long post on peoples dash asdfghgfd.
SO. Really the only thing that helps me keep my sanity for wallpaper is having pre-made photoshop (or your editor of choice) templates. These are my most prized cc making resource asdfghjkjhgf. I have PSDs for each of the three wallpapers set up, and each one is already prepped with the recolouring actions I use, and has a folder containing both brown and white wood panelling that I can toggle on and off. this sounds super basic but i s2g when i first started doing wallpapers, i would have like 5 gazillion images open in PS at once where I'd recolour each separate 'style' of wall (i.e plain, panelling, wooden trims etc). looking back now, i've no idea how i managed it asdfgfds. anywway here is a super laggy video of my template set up!
I will have all three height templates open at once, to save having to go back and do the same recolour but on a different wall height later, because that's way too tedious for me. I'll recolour one after the other, and then save them to their relevant folder (with file names like 1 Short, 1 Medium, 1 Tall etc). When it comes to panelling, I do it in a more cyclical way; I'd do all the different wall patterns/colours with the brown panelling, and then go back to the beginning and do each one in white. Because I use pattern fill layers, this takes like 0 time because I just have to click on the relevant pattern and its done, and I prefer this method over doing the brown version and then the white version at the same time because i'm liable to get in a mess and confused asdfghjhgfds.
basically that's a WHOLE lotta words to say the only thing that really helps is having a system that's as streamlined as possible, and works with your editing style. this way works really well for me, and i just get into the groove of it. i will say, i would NOT be able to do any of it unless i had a banging playlist or audiobook on as i do it, because then i really would lose what's left of my brain cells asdfghjhgfd.
anyway sorry this is all over the place! making wallpapers can be SO tedious but i also find it really satisfying at the end when it's all finished! if i didnt explain something clearly or anything, please lmk and i'll try and reword it or just record the process asdfghgfds!
#this is why i would never be good at doing tutorials#bc i have rocks for brains and use way too many words lmao
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hi hi so i like many others have headcanons for next gen kids and i wanted to share my kamishin kid bc i LOVE him and have so many headcanons for him. he's very fleshed out so click that mf keep reading 😤😤🔥✨-> ->
so this all started with my quirk fusion idea — This boy is an instance of quirk singularity combining quirks to a dangerous degree. His quirk is that he can manipulate the electricy in someone else's brain— so essentially “fuck up your brain” The Quirk. this can range short circuiting other people to straight up, on the spot murdering someone with 0 fight at all. Just. Insta-kill. its very dangerous and since it’s sort of impossible for him to train without risk, he is essentially quirkless.
Its hard for him though, to live in this superpowered world where he’s powerless but also secretly incredible powerful? not many people know the truth about his quirk
this is one part anxiety but also a conscious decision on him and his dads’ parts. while prohero kids are out of the spotlight, kamishin is quirkless as far as the public knows, for his own protection bc of the fear that villains would try to take advantage of him/any negative attention he recieve
while all of this definitely gives him angst and issues, it helps that he has two really great and loving dads <3 (and pro hero aunts and uncles 🥺)
he takes after shinsou a lot with the quirk angst. he's feared turning villainous or hurting people and stuff 🥺. but it helps a lot to have a dad who Gets it and bc shinsou understands him he definitely has an easier time with his issues <3
the first time his quirk manifested was luckily on denki and everyone was very confused. like, is denki bceoming so talented he can short circuit without activating his powers? ehh... nope 🙃 the second time it happened was against his kindergarten teacher — he put her in a coma for like three days and thats when things got serious. i know this is effed up but im sorry that's like his whole deal :/ :/
The other more fun stuff!
deku is his favorite uncle :) between the relatability of growing up quirkless and the positive vibes he just loves him. also deku has brainstormed positive ways to use his quirk but its still too risky to try but kamishin appreciates ☺
he's also really close with eri! she's a very cool younger aunt and their quirk manifestation origins are kind of similar in the hurting people department so she's VERY protective of him. if theres anyone he could train with itd be her, but he doesn't want to risk it. and despite deku's encouragement, his quirk is dangerous
personality wise he takes after shinsou more, but not entirely! he’s definitely more energetic and spunky
oh he’s a bitch in the best of ways
he has Kaminaris pick up line tendencies but it fucking WORKS??? yeah he's a bastard and a flirt
childhood friends with the kiribaku kid but lately there’s definitely been something more between them??? sparks are flying 👀👀
being a hero's not really an option for him but he’s cool with that. he has a pretty deep seeded fear of his own power. i have to make a separate Krbk kid post but kiribakus son is also not interested! they kind of bond over it. they both love their dads but think they’re kind of lame lol
His favorite pro hero is dynamite ☺️ like it says in the pic this is one part to piss of his dads and the kiribaku kid lol but also he loves how headstrong bakugou is
has kamis adhd but shinsous smarts
a real science nerd, in a bookish way but also in a lets-experiment-with-getting-electrocuted-way
he's planning on going into quirk research. he's smart and sciency and is obviously very personally invested in learning and contributing to the quirk sciences!
oh he a music boy!! In a band with momojirou kid -- just look at that fucking punk
its hard to see in the pic but he has gold freckles 🥺🥺
i dunno that's all i have for now!! i love him!!
#ive always vibed the most with kami and shinsou so making this character just felt really RIGHT#not even that this kid is like me bc he's p different#i just vibe with him too ya no??#also i LOVE the kiribaku kid and have to make another post#spoilers i have two kiribaku kids and while this one doesn’t wanna be a hero the younger one does!#kamishin#bnha next gen#shinkami#kamishin kid#shinkami kid#bnha fusions#bnha fusion#bnha original character#bnha oc#mha original character#mha oc#mha next gen#my stuff#my arts
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Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players
aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update
PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen
Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch
"Fck this game, i've had enough,"
"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"
Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"
"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"
His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see
"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"
Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far
"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"
"I think i get your fav character?"
"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"
"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"
Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long
"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"
"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"
"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"
"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"
"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"
!!!!
It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it
Type of player
Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner
Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month
"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully
He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!
He's very lucky. Very
Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.
'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'
'I want to be like him'
Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home
"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish
"not NOW!!" Clicks
The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.
Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.
"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"
He will be a c6 bennett haver!!
Type of player :
Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.
Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.
Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.
Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.
He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.
Everyone loves his teapot
Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real
"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"
"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"
"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"
"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"
'Bp?'
"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies
"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"
She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon
"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"
"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"
Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."
Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly
"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS
Type of player :
Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going
She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka
Ayaka main btw
Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out
Fragile resin = 0
Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon
"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"
"But i cant,"
Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there
Only coops if mitsuri is there
"So that someone can calm me down,"
"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"
Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.
"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"
"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"
"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"
"Oh yeah i know,"
"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"
"i just know right after you told me,"
"...."
Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something
"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"
"But the next banner is zhongli's,"
"....."
"Ah fuck it," buys
My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists
"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"
That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person
"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears
Type of player :
Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants
Zhongli main
Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it
"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"
Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it
Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs
Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.
"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"
His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it
They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately
Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears
"Zhongli main forever,"
Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.
Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.
"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"
"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"
Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit
"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"
"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"
In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team
"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems
"Tengen, you should control yourself!"
"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"
"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops
Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.
"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"
"Who do you main uzui?"
"Beidou,"
Type of player
Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs
R5 every battle pass weapon
Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff
Mona wanter
Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery
Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs
Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers
Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down
Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it
In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"
Doesnt heals his characters
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer hashira#kny hashira#tokitō muichirō#shinazugawa sanemi#shinobu kochou#uzui tengen#rengoku kyojuro#kamado tanjiro#kochou kanae#iguro obanai#demon slayer headcanons#kimetsu no yaiba headcanons#hashira headcanons
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