#it just hurts to see them trash supernatural for just one episode

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E6 "Urgent Care" thoughts

Colin being interesting was a cool idea that never crossed my mind it could be possible... but I think it was presented a little... abruptly? It's like there wasn't any prelude to this plot.

I can't add more fuel to my one-sided beef with FX networks merch department but seriously guys: Froguillermo plushies/figurines!!! You just don't want to make money at this point (look at me being all capitalist and shit).

Already said it in a different post but the Nandor/Colin pairing is very rare and I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed it, considering both have this "nuisance of the group" energy. I noticed that Nandor storylines usually are very isolated if he doesn't have one with Guillermo or a is part of a bigger group. He has few plots with only one of his roomies (again, without counting Guillermo).

That dangling feet looked disgusting. Loved it.

I cant say much about the scene of Colin with the actor (didn't make me laugh so much), so a personal anecdote: for years I believed this Mad Men dude and Ted Danson from The good place were the same person.

I lied, there was a moment that made me laugh: in the car when it looked like Colin was successfully about to bore the actor, the camera pans to Nandor, and he looks SO devious, like his eyes were literally shining at the sight of Colin feeding (and his plan working).

Another thing I already mentioned in a separate post, but the set design of this hospital place was *chef's kiss*. It looked so good and expensive. You can tell when the people behind the scenes show care for their craft (reminds me of the beautiful sets from "The Night Market," one of the only good things from that episode).

Anyone noticed a random vampire wearing those lamp collars for pets on the waiting room? Made me think good kinky things I shan't say!

I've read lots of people mentioning this, and I agree with all of them: THIS is the Nadja and Guillermo crazy murderous shenanigans that we felt robbed of in S4.

also lmao of course i cant make one of these s5 thoughts without trashing s4. Yes, I sound traumatized (its because i am).

Nadja punching guys doesn't have the right to be this sexy.

There are rooms on this supernatural hospital that genuinely looked scary.

The Guide random appearance was more like "hey we're billing Kristen Schaal as a main cast now, so we have to put her somewhere", also she's wearing her hottest outfit thus far :D

High Guillermo was hilarious, and I think we don't praise Harvey's comedy chops on this show enough. (Usually, I see his dramatic moments being more highlighted.)

I CALLED IT! At the start of the episode I thought "oh so this is the episode when Nadja LEARNS". I also predicted right that every housemate will learn the truth about Guillermo except for Nandor, c'mon! that's a classic storytelling trope and I fuckin love how high drama all this shit is. Also happy that FINALLY I called something right with this show, the past year all my predictions on twt were debunked by bad writing, so I'm glad to have one W.

Nandor being desperate for a dying Colin, then Colin helping Nandor back. LOVE!

D.C + A.S.S.

Nandor has "the privilege" of murdering Guillermo… h*ly shit its all about the language this writers choose sometimes.

At first I dint get what the little frog said, but lovely people on this site helped that it croaked "guillermo"... so....what's up with that?

Biggest laugh of the night: "Guillermo you think I'm an idiot?" "Say no".

Yay this shit is gonna hurt so bad and I'm so ready for it. I want Tears! Blood! Screaming accusations!! High Drama!!!

Seriously, where's the Djinn?

[nothing-ever-really-ends-does-it]

So, after taking some time to process, I think I’ve reached the conclusion that it’s not the worst ending possible.

Is it perfect ? No

Is it the best they could have come up with ? No

Do I love it and will forever hold it dear to my heart? Absolutely no.

Do I think it was a great idea killing Dean with a rusty piece of metal ? NO

Did it ruin Supernatural forever for me ? NO

Were the main problems easily fixed with some creative decisions being different? Yes

BUT

Do I hate it ? No, I don’t think I hate it. I mean I don’t like it 100% , and I would change a million things if I had any power to do so. But I don’t hate it anymore and it won’t make me hate the entirety of the show obviously.

I’ve been here since season 1, 2005, when I was probably too young to be allowed to watch it. I do believe that Sam and Dean Winchester are THE fundamental pieces of the show. I understand that they tried to go back to the roots of the show. I understand that they tried to play with symmetry here and take us back to simpler times where it was Sam and Dean against the world hunting normal monsters and I don’t think that’s wrong. I mean at the end of the day everything that happened happened because of them, around them and for them. But they could have honored them and also everyone else in their lives.

I actually think the episode was good until Dean’s dead, even then I think I could have forgive the decision of killing him with something so mundane because it would have cemented the idea that their lives could have been normal but there was always someone pulling the strings (Chuck), I would have still HATED the decision to have Dean killed less than a few months after defeating GOD and by a piece of rust 🤡 when he deserved so much more of life but I could have accepted it, and move on if they had made some changes in the time and the how.

It does hurt to know Dean is dead, but then, dead has never been the same for them, every single time one of them has died, they come back, they have literally fought Death and Dean has killed it twice. So Dean dying now hurts but not as much as it hurt in season 3. Dead does not feel bigger than them anymore, it is no longer this doom hanging over their heads as a threat. Like It feels different, these guys are legends, they have gone to heaven, hell, purgatory, AUs, the past, the future, etc dead feels kind of beneath them (?) and tbh I did expect them both to die by the end of the series. To me that move was a given.

I guess what bothers me the most is that SPN has always been a show about family, found family and blood family. Sam and Dean made their own family welcoming people into their lives and caring for them. It’s one of my favorite things about the show. When John comes back and tells Dean he is sorry he never got to have a family and Dean says that he has one, omg, YES I loved that. Because it is truth. Dean always wanted family, it is revealed so early in the show, that the thing that moves him is love and his sense of family, love for his mom, for his dad, for Sam, and later on for everyone else he gets to call family. It’s what makes him do great things and stupid things.

There’s a point where it stops being only about Sam and Dean, I still think they are the core and the heart of the show, but it’s not just them anymore. They keep adding so many people to their circle, and it’s a joy to watch their interactions with everyone else, for them to have nice and normal moments with people they care about like visiting Jody, or spending time with Charlie.

I think that maybe the biggest flaw of the finale, is the lack of more, more of the people that became their family too, more time of them being happy on earth. Or maybe it’s just me not accepting it ended.

If I had been showed Dean getting to meet all the people he lost, and being welcomed there by the family he made, I would have been at peace with the end, because in a way Dean would have gotten to be, to live free of burdens and violence, with no fear of losing more people he loved and just enjoying simple things. it would have made the ending more sweet than bitter.

I’m not even a hardcore Destiel shipper,I mean I LOVE them but I love that relationship being it platonic or romantic, I think their story it’s great and I would’ve been ok with whatever decision they made about them post declaration 15x18. I wouldn’t have cared if they kept it platonic or if they dared to do more. I just love them interacting in any scenario.

But the fact that CAS did not appear in any capacity ?! WTF, shipper or not there’s no denying the importance of their relationship for their character development and for almost every major event of the show since season 4. Unrequited love or not, however they wanted to play it, they value each other, they enjoy each other’s company and they consider themselves FAMILY. Other than Sam, Cas has been the only constant in Dean’s life, I was absolutely sure he would make an appearance I WAS SURE, and I kept waiting and it all ended and he never arrived. That felt like a punch because I have loved Castiel since he first appeared in Lazarus Rising.

That does not mean that my ONLY problem with the finale was the absence of Cas (it’s probably the main one but not the only), or the absence of Eileen (💔) , it does not mean I do not value the other nice moments, or the beauty of how death was like a new life in heaven. Jensen and Jared put their heart in their performances. I cried when Dean died and gave his last speech to Sam, it was everything Sam needed to hear even If he knew. i liked the concept of time being different on heaven and earth. I love the idea that everyone gets to be together now. And that Jack is making everything better thanks to all he learned from them. It really had very nice elements. Just poor execution.

At first watch, all the bad made it imposible for me to concentrate on the good. I was caught between being sad, wanting to try and make sense of out the finale and also being kind of dissapointed. But I guess that my conclusion is that, at the end for me it changes nothing, I”ll still love this show with all it’s missed opportunities and mistakes.

I know some changes had to be made because of Covid, i know they had probably planned to bring back a lot of characters, and it’s unfair to be mad IF it was out of their control and IF that was the reason Cas and Eileen did not return. I know a lot of things were left implied and open for interpretation, I know the actors and crew put their love in filming every episode. I know that. I do believe some things changed last minute.

But the TV industry big bosses do not care for things like this, what matters is money and timelines and contracts and I can see some of it affecting the production of the last episode. It still sucks, I’m still salty about it but I guess this is me letting go and letting it be.

[hells-plaid-angel]

In the ‘Good Version’™ of Supernatural that lives in my head, they would have addressed Dean’s bisexuality way earlier, I’m talking pre-Cas era. For example, I’ve been re-watching Supernatural and I saw a perfect opportunity.

S2, ep 3 ‘Bloodlust’, it’s a pretty unassuming, monster-of-the-week style episode that honestly I’d forgotten until the rewatch but it has the opportunity to sow the seeds of something interesting. The basic summary, it comes after two memorable episodes (1) John’s died, (2) Dean’s just trashed the Impala.

Dean and Sam go out on a hunt to deal with their dad dying. It’s a typical vampire situation. They run into another hunter, Gordon in town while looking for the nest. After they kill a vampire Dean and Gordon bond at a bar, enthusing about the kill. Sam feels uncomfortable and decides to head back to the hotel. Gordon tells Dean how Sam isn’t like ‘them’, he doesn’t have a hunter instinct, then opens up about how his sister was attacked by vampires. Dean also actually opens up  and admits he’s not in a good place after his dad’s death, admitting he essentially used to think his father was invincible, but he feels he can’t talk to Sam about it.

Meanwhile, Sam’s getting kidnapped by the vampires. They tell him they’ve only been feeding off animal blood and say they’ll let Sam go to show that they aren’t hurting anyone. Sam comes back and tries to convince Dean that they are good vampires but Dean’s still siding with Gordon. Sam makes a kind of weird comment that the only reason Dean is siding with him is that he’s trying to replace their dad with this guy.I say weird because he doesn’t look much older than Dean and nothing about their relationship has given ‘familial vibes,’ if you know what I mean.

Long story short, Gordan kidnaps one of the vampires, cuts himself and makes Dean watch as the vampire’s fangs extend, trying to prove that all vampires are inherently evil. However, the vampire doesn’t try to suck his blood and in turn, Dean decides Gordan is the monster, not the vampires.

The episode ends with Dean going on a mini-monologue, wondering how many ‘monsters’ they have killed on hunts with their father who didn’t deserve it. He realises the world isn’t as black and white as he’d assumed.  He basically compares himself to Gordan,  saying that he’s a killer/ ‘monster’ because  he’d been working under the assumption that all ‘monsters’ were evil but he is beginning to realise their dad might have been wrong.

Dean: ‘And the way he raised us, to hate these things? And man, I hate 'em, I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill, I didn't even think about it. Hell, I even enjoyed it.’

I should also mention that in this episode the same actor who plays Benny, plays a vampire called Eli. From my understanding, they aren’t meant to be the same character but they are both ‘vegetarian’ vampires. I think you might be able to see where this is going.

So, here’s where my own rewrite comes in. A few tweaks could take essentially the same episode and introduce Dean’s whole struggle with internalised homophobia to the forefront of the plot.

First things first, Benny is going to be the vampire in the episode. Instead of Dean and Gordan bonding over their love of hunting we’re going to have Dean and Benny meet at the bar, maybe Dean’s doing some solo investigating looking for the vampire nest. Benny’s at the bar and offers to buy Dean a drink. It’s going to ride the line between ‘is this guy being friendly, or is this guy being flirty,’ because there’s no way Dean could deal with obvious flirting, he’d shut it down or get really flustered like he did in 8x13. They get to talking and realise they’ve both recently lost someone, in Benny’s case it’s the other members of his nest, while for Dean it’s his dad, we see Dean open up to Benny.

In the end, either Gordan or Dean kills Benny, because they realise he’s a vampire, and Sam is busy getting kidnapped by the rest of the nest. The rest follows the same path of the episode but we draw parallels between Benny and Dean, not Gordan and Dean. Dean bonded with a ‘monster’, with a vampire and let himself be convinced that they were evil, not because of what they did but who they were, innately.

Sidebar: we are also going to explore the parallels between minority groups and ‘monsters’ in fiction and often the parallels between vampirism and the LGBT+ community because in the rewrite I would lean into this subtext hard.  For example, older horror and folk law often draw parallels between their ‘monsters’ and things that were either ‘unknown’ or ‘threatened’ commonly held ideologies. We’re talking about the way Lovecraft’s monsters were a manifestation of racism or how witches were literally a way to persecute women of science or those who didn’t conform to the more pious ideologies of the time. 

Then there are vampires. Vampires have often been connected to ‘queerness’. Think of ‘Carmilla’, one of the classic vampire novels, which has a lesbian relationship at the heart of the story and spawned practically a subgenera of vampire lesbians. There is also themes of bisexuality raised in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Not to mention Interview with The Vampire and its subsequent novels/ movies very much revelling in the connection between vampires and homosexuality/ bisexuality.  This is why vampires are the perfect monster-of-the-week for this episode.

Basically, in my ‘Good’ version of Supernatural, we take a more Guillermo Del Toro’s The Shape of Water style approach to Dean’s relationship with monsters, hunting, toxic masculinity and internalised homophobia.  Del Toro often notes how people who feel ‘othered’ by society see themselves empathising with monsters in fiction because they know what it’s like to be misunderstood. So in summary, I’m going to leave you with this quote from Del Toro, to bookend what I’m proposing.

‘As a kid, I knew that monsters were far more gentle and more desirable than the monsters living inside 'nice people’, and I think accepting that you are a monster gives you the leeway to not behave like one. When you deny being a monster, you behave like one.’

TLDR: I propose Guillermo Del Toro’s 'Supernatural’

[sillysunshinesstuff]

The Absolute Fuckery that was 15x20

Ok there were a lot of reasons why the final was bad. Like so many fucking reasons. Even without the queerbaiting,this is some of the worst writing I’ve ever seen and here’s a few reasons why: 

Destiel

Yes. Big main reason here. They should not have included a confession and have one of the main plots of season 15 be Castiel’s and Dean’s relationship if they didn’t intend to follow through in any way. It shouldn’t have been introduced because the story became disjointed and thematically unsatisfying due to not being addressed in the final in any sort of way. Also, queerbaiting in 2020? Just to get your views up for the last few episodes because they knew Supernatural had become a shit show of bad ratings? Calculated and cruel toward the LGBTQIA+ community who has supported their careers for years. 

Saileen

The absolute least they could have done was see this plot point through but they did not. We do not know if Eileen lives and even if they release information that she did, it’s still bullshit because we don’t get to see any part of her story. She has been reduced to a two dimensional character with no agency or purpose. Another woman just meant to prop up the male lead. Bullshit. 

The Empty

What the fuck was the point of everything about this plot line if it would just be trashed half way through? Why did Cas make that deal with Ruby? Why did she beg to get out? Why did the Empty accuse Jack of making it loud? I really thought they were going somewhere with this one but they chickened out. There was so much potential for this; the angels and demons being awakened, balance being restored in heaven and hell, a big final show down between them and God. There were so many things just dropped when it came to this and that is why season 15 is absolutely frustrating because it feels like we just wasted our time with useless world building that didn’t amount to anything. 

Kevin

I truly did think they’d address this in some sort of way, but the last time we saw Kevin, he was cursed to wander the earth until he became insane because his soul couldn’t ascend to heaven. I was really excited about this because I thought it meant there was going to be some restructuring of the Supernatural universe. The plot would be how the universe Chuck created wasn’t perfect and it had flaws and it was up to Team Free Will to fix some of these gaping holes. They made a point of calling it unfair. It was a wrong that should have been righted in some sort of way in the final. 

Benny

This really isn’t just about Benny, it is about the concept of purgatory. A running theme in the show is that good people don’t deserve what happened to them. We see a lot of “good” monsters throughout the show. Characters who helped, sacrificed, and died for the brothers. At the end, they are sent to monster hell or purgatory. There was an episode this season where Sam and Dean killed a teenage boy who had been turned into a vampire. The teenage boy accepted his death because he knew it was for the best. He was afraid of hurting more people and he accepted that it was unfair. They made sure to emphasize how unjust the rules of this universe were and the emotional toll these universal rules took on the boys. Benny’s demise was spoken about briefly and we see Dean very hurt about his death. But the audience is left with the feeling that this is wrong. That the way the Supernatural universe is structured is wrong. Good people get turned into monsters, die, go to purgatory, and then die the ultimate death there. Is this what’s in store for all the “good monster” characters in the show? Garth? His family? They’re werewolves who fight their monster instincts, do they they still deserve purgatory? Did that teenage boy? A gaping hole that I thought the show was going to address in some way. Maybe offer redemption to those in purgatory or have Jack completely wipe away the concept of monsters in the universe. After all, it was just Chuck’s shitty writing, why couldn’t they wipe it clean and just leave people? “Cure” people of the monster and officially give the boys a way out of hunting? No monsters means no hunting. They’d be truly free. I thought this was direction they were going based off the certain episodes and characters discussed. But nope.

Jack

They reduced Jack’s character to plot food and that’s it. His ending was sloppy because it didn’t take into account any of the growth he’s had over the last three seasons. We predicted his ending from season 12 and that’s bad writing. Just. Awful writing. This character had dreams, motivations, relationships, but that all quite literally dissipated. He was used as a magic button that solved all their problems. 15x19 truly showed the lack of thought put into his character. He should not have been a main character if he didn’t have more influence on the plot than simply being a cop-out for having to write a well thought out solution. He was literally just there to snap his fingers and fix all their problems. 

Dean

Oh yeah, Dean’s ending was a big fuck you to any character growth this character has had over the last 15 seasons. There is a line in his final 15 minute goodbye monologue where he says they always knew it would end this way. Which, exactly. We always thought it would end this way because it’s so goddamn predictable. It’s shitty writing because it doesn’t try to subvert this. It quite literally says that any growth Dean has had meant nothing because it didn’t change his end. Dean Winchester was always meant to die a young, bloody death. Everything he’s done, everything he’s bled and sacrificed for meant nothing. His prediction came true. It makes the audience wonder why they stuck around for this long ass journey if they knew the ending all along. It isn’t about what this character deserves. We have always known that the hero deserves happiness, but the ending should say something about why the story matters. Why did we see Dean struggle all his life about accepting himself? Loving himself? Seeing himself as someone who deserves to live? It was yet another theme and plot point throughout season 15. It’s what Castiel proclaimed to him in his confession and it is what Dean finally acknowledged by telling Chuck that’s not who he was. Dean Winchester is not a cold blooded killer. Dean Winchester deserved to live. It was beautiful character growth. A wonderful end to him. But they said fuck that when his last words were that he always knew it would end this way. That he always knew he wasn’t meant to live a long life. The writers wanted tears and they got them. I was crying, not because it was a beautiful satisfying death or ending, but because they tore apart 15 years of development for my beloved character. Dean Winchester has shown consistently that he wanted more than hunting, he wanted more than the life he got stuck with. But they didn’t follow through. They just decided to make an emotional ending because that was the coolest broest bro masculine thing to do. 

Castiel

Literally everything. Literally fucking everything. Another character that was reduced to plot food. Castiel, the angel who rebelled against heaven and fell for the man he raised from perdition, was not deemed important enough to be in the final. This was the biggest fuck you of all. His story had become so complicated over the last few seasons and his purpose was kinda everywhere but they finally focused it when they had his happiness be Dean. When he said he found his faith when he found a family. When he became a father to someone who would one day save the universe. Castiel lived for the love he learned he was capable of. His ending just made no sense. I guess we’re supposed to assume Jack saved his from the empty but he wasn’t shown. He was not shown greeting Dean, the man he died for over and over again, his happiness. He was not shown being reunited with Jack, his faith. He was not shown enjoying the life he fell from grace for. He was a book with half its pages ripped out. Castiel didn’t get an ending. He got erased. 

Sam

That fucking wig. 

This is just some of my rambling thoughts I wanted to share will all of you. I have been a fan of this show for so many years. I invested so much time and love into something I’m going to look back on with bitter disappointment. Some of shittiest writing I have ever seen. Thanks for reading and add some more reasons. I know a missed a shit ton. 

[aeempress]

Apritello Express Evidences, part 3

Apritello, my dear friends, is really all hints, devil in details, little pieces that, in the end, become a huge picture.

I can't say that there are a lot of episodes with April and Donnie spending quality time together, no. But all episodes are important to understand how their relationship are involving, growing. If you have sharp eyes and think about all of this even a little bit, you will be surprised how gracefully their relationship changes and grows, how characters evolve.

Dear passengers, we're about to start. Mind the gap!

Episodes “The Gumbus” and “Mrs. Cuddles”. 

I think it would be appropriate to analyze these episodes in bunch, because they have common situations of spooky supernatural stuff and reactions of characters to this.

When you watch these two eps in raw, it's easy to see how alike are reactions of Donnie and April in some scary, really odd situations. 

Adrenaline ‘n’ reclessness

April is really into all spooky things in “The Gumbus”, she's not afraid of some creepy stuff and she's really brave girl who easily copes with stressful and life-threatening situations.

Donnie is incredibly calm and collected when alive doll talked to him.

But still, April was frightened about plush rabbit because it was really unexpected for girl, she wasn’t ready to realize that plush doll that she’d worked with is alive fear-eating monster who will hurt and intimidate to get their precious screams. But point remains: Donnie and April share crazy fearlessness, which turns into an adrenaline addiction.

And here I am, a science guy, who tell you: adrenaline is a big deal for our body. This hormone can even provoke an onset of romantic feelings. Chemistry and anatomy come to fill the gaps: when a person is afraid, their pulse quickens, a cocktail of hormones is releasing into the blood, which sharpen the senses and reflexes. It will create a strong emotional bound, that's important for maintaining romantic kind of feelings. The more impressions there are (even negative ones), the higher the chance that person will remember his|her partner, and want to see them again – the body gets hooked on adrenaline, like a drug.

That’s why D&A have so strong, unshakeable boundaries. They are so alike: their attitude to scary things, the way Donnie and April cope with them, the adrenaline addiction their share. They even express feelings the same way.

And one tiny detail: April and Donnie start the teasing Raph for his fear of mrs. Cuddles. So they become the first victims of plushie.

Friendly reminder: they were the 1st victims, and what’s happened with them we don’t know, because it wasn’t shown due to not ruin the atmosphere of suspense.

But we have a beautiful quote of mrs. Cuddles and this precious shot which explain everything

Raph: Where’s Donnie?

Cuddles: In a happy place where he’ll scream and I can grow forever and now you’re gonna join him!

In a happy place, huh? Tied up with April in Splinter’s bedroom, a really happy place. Hold a sec, are they -

And after that Donnie’s responding is killing me.

Donnie:[OS] I'm afraid of togetherness.

Yep. All normal here. We should continue.

"Operation Normal" even though doesn't show a lot of interactions between April and Donnie, however continues the general outline highlighting the topics that were mentioned earlier in the show.

Firstly, April's relationship with her classmates. We're able to see how poor her scholar life is in "Hypno Part Deux" and "The Purple Jacket". She has no "normal", human friends except some strange remora guy, more like acquaintance than friend, though. But still, having "be normal" kick she's fine with Donnie's weirdness ( Mikey is always beyond all normal comprehension, Raph goes weird while he's alone, without brothers, and his fear of miss Cuddles is no big deal to fam, Leo didn't show any weird stuff during the series, like, reeeeal weird, m'kay?).

Conversation between April and Donnie at pizza spot

Really interesting and smooth scene. We’ve got Donatello who stares at April while he’s waiting his favourite pizza, no big deal.

And his legs.

If a person is interested in you, during a conversation, they will put their right foot forward (a left-handed person is more likely to put their left foot forward) in order to close the distance between you. - Check.

being in company, peson will point the sock at the most pleasant interlocutor for them. - check.

April’s legs are ponted at Donnie. Checkmate.

Yeah, April is hanging out with Donatello and Leonardo, but the main focus of hers is on Donnie. 

All these scene makes me think that Donnie, knowing about how badly sometimes April  wants to be normal, is up to help her overcome this. Fight fire with fire:  fill up her life with all of this weird, mystic stuff so it will be normal with time. Regular people go to pizza spot to spend some quality time together, so we have pizza restaraunt here, in Hidden City. Make all odd normal, and problem will solved.

Donnie really tries his best, look at his face. Dee’s fine with all this bizzare things what happens to April, he’s fine with her. But still he fails, because April’s concept of normalcy differs drom Donnie’s.

And again, for Donnie it’s not a problem at all. He’s always was at the opposite side of normalcy and it doesn’t matter for him if April is in the same boat with him. Cause, as I said, Don’s fine with that.

Second, how much Donnie knows about April.

- Scoff! Are you really still on this whole "I want things to be normal" kick?

- Yes, what big city girl doesn't have a kayak and has hazmat suit?

Interesting detail here: this line launches Donnie’s flashback (because the first scene is from “Purple Jacket”, it’s Dee’s episode, obviously). And Don, as far as I can tell, has in his flashback moments with April when she did something reaaally impressive. His face is way more louder than any words.

- Short answer: no. Long answer: nnooooooooo.

- Oh, no! You know how April freaks out around the cosplay wizards!

These tiny lines are containing a lot of background, stories, intimate conversations that April and Donnie share. This show always does the same trick: we never see a direct action, we are only able to see a result or statement of the result. But series do a great work telling us with such small and imperceptible gestures that their bonding at this point is mutual. Not only D tells April about his inventions, family and fam's issues he has and even his falls, mistakes and failures. April does the same thing, sharing with Donatello one of the most important things to her. Problem that really bothers her.

C'mon, he'd even memorized Sunita's name, though April messed up with this situation a bit. It seems Donnie memorizes facts about April - he remembered the wi-fi password from old April's work as we can see in "The Longest fight" (he could hack it easily, he's a genius, why he's been keeping in mind some piece information that useless for a year? It doesn't make any sense)

Oh, and that. Just a coincidence, I guess?

Just alike suits, no big deal. Plus, the whole family has it (and something tells me that guys have suits at the behest of Don, so probably April does). But Donnie and April has a lot in common like emotional expressions, reaction about some kind situations, fight style and even tastes in fashion.

Also, it seems like Donnie's been watching April for sometimes.

While Leo was hiding in trash can, to not catch anyone's eye rather than April. He definitely couldn't know who was passing by, but there was Donnie to observe from above. That's why he was hanging down the stairs when Leo spoke to April.

It’s not the first time Donnie dress up as old lady to monitor April’s day.

Leo: Why do you always make us dress up as old ladies? Donnie: №1: confort, №2: to blend in as we monitor April’s day for max normalcy.

 3. Even when D took away this cosplay wizard, he's still keeping eye on her.

Oh no, you don’t. Grandmas here!

Donatello changes his foe to save April exactly. He fought all evening with Brutus, but when April slightly gets in danger, Donnie just attacked anyone who has intention to hurt her and ruin her evening.

Is that a flying turtle in an old purple dress?

April, who all evening was trying to look “normal”, hiding her real friends because they are mutant turtles and pretending that nothing unusual happens here, finally gives up when Sunita mentioned Donnie. Even though new April’s friend has asked her before about Leo.

His eyes. 

Donnie is really impressed but what he saw, and the reason - April O'Neil.

The episode "Warren & Hypno, sitting in a Tree" is another incredible piece of whole picture.

Turtle tank is decorated for April birthday in purplish scheme, definetely Donatello's work.

Dee's nonverbal speech.

• He seems more interested and softer than usual looking at April. It's easy to say comparing him with brothers. Mikey is in anticipation of fun mode, Leo relaxed and show his "whatever it will be fun" attitude, Raph is listening carefully, but still, Donnie could just turn his head in April's vouce direction, not a whole body.

• Warren felt Don's gaze while talked with April, so worm made the remark. Pay attention to the construction of the frame of neighboring scenes. The second frame is April's perspective. And Don is looking namely at her.

Indignation. Disappointment. Spark, storm, madness (i love this russian meme, sorry not sorry)

• Donnie seems sincerely sorry for this situation with April's b-day. And again, this soft gaze and "Raph, shut the shell up, your nonsense is upsetting her"-eyes.

• Donatello is kind of person, who’s avoiding a proper confrontation, so he rarely stands up for someone.  He were remaining silent, when Raphael tried to cheer April in the most radiculous way, but when Hypno tried to play with April’s feelings, Donnie blew it. 

He’s obviously in wrath as D emote that expressively. Yeah, he had much on his plate at April’s birthday, but it’s her b-day on the line, not his pride.

Warren used April, playing with her fan feelings. Her idol betrayed her, she was locked up in a cage, and now we have Hypno who wants to use her again by pitting and pushing for her compassion, because, it’s obvious - boys would do everything she said. 

And Donnie tries to keep Hypno away from her, protect her feelings from another betrayal. 

As he’s already stated - “For you, anything”.

The show always tells us: if you wanna trigger Don, bring April in. 

Hypno tried to turn this thing around, Leo did the same in “Al be back”. 

If Hypno-tamus did that accidentally as he found out that April O’ Neil is a birthday girl, so her wishes that day were laws, Leo did it on purpuse.

Leo is good at manupulating and pulling some strings, plus he knows his twin as back of his hand. That’s why Leo mentioned April in the end as she was always the most powerful argument, the reason and motive for Donnie. At second he’s even panicked, but remained calm. He almost blew up his coolheaded image because of one certain girl in yellow.

• Donnie is really happy to present Warren's arm to April. He even holds it like a rare, priceless treasure. D is really proud of himself right now: he saved the day, after all. The emotional reaction of hers is exactly what Donnie wants to get. And then, his final pose, while April is on 9th cloud from happiness - that's really territorial gesture, D claims his supremacy and confidence, telling "See? That's my happy birthday girl".

Leapfrog with a composition

Donnie and April are more and more eager to be together in the frame. Composition’s boners, m’kay.

Special ride for April

Yeah, Donnie used to offer his battleshell to give April a special ride. It even has  a seat and handlebars for her comfort. She can control the flight as well as Donatello, they are like co-pilots. But he never carried her on his back before.

Usually, April is carried by Raphael, on his neck/shoulder, and she’s fine with it. Raph is strong enough to carry her without any difficulties or slowing down.

It’s not Donnie’s weak to carry her - no, he strong enough to carry his battleshell with a lot stuff in it everyday, Don can carry Splints on his shoulder without any apparent difficulty. He strong enough to hold the weight of his battleshell+April. Oh, c’mon, D assembled the Turtle tank only by himself and this for sure requires a lot of physical strength in order to engage in auto mechanics. Try lifting the wheel with tyre, and you'll see what I mean. Of course, there is a jack, but it will not solve all the problems. Don could use hydraulics and Archimedes ' laws, but I'm sure he did most of it with his own hands. Lifting and carrying, all by himself.

Not the strengh what’s matter but another point.

The sequence where Donnie carries April on his back doesn’t last long, it’s pretty easy to miss, while Raph openly do that with April on him. 

Plus April’s gaze: she’s staring right at us with her “ninja-eyes” as if they were caught in the middle of something. The duration and length of the sequence, the way it is made all of this arouse certain thoughts. 

It’s like nobody should see this. Too personal. To be more specific - too close and intimate? 

Donnie stated a few times that he’s not into togetherness, tactile interaction and phisical side of contacts. Although he's fine with his brothers, don't forget that April is a girl. Even if she feels like part of family, she’s not his relative. She’s not his sister. 

Some people tend to avoid physical contact with the objects of their interest. And this behaviour fits in Don’s character. He’s anxious type with a lot of psychological and emotional issues. Yeah, he tries to cover it up, built a shell to protect himself, behave as confident extravert but he’s nothing like that. Sometimes D tends to distance himself from his family, to hide in his shell, and we've seen that throughout the show. 

Don hangs by his phone quite often, he addicted to this as his comfort zone, his peaceful cave, where everything is much easier,

Don pretends he’s so busy with his science stuff to ward off his brothers (ep. Mind Meld), 

Don went to the lab to work on his projects, while he could hang out with April and the brothers (ep. Mrs. Cuddles). And he left for what? To work on self-cleaning tooth pick, or the titan bust of himself? It’s seems like lame excuse to be alone. He’s definetely an intovert, who sometimes needs some space and time with himself. 

All his cocky behaviour is showing off to hide insecure, diffident and vulnerable creature, softshell purple turtle. Yeah, Donnie has confidence in what he’s great in: tech, science stuff, where he’s only one is capable of. But if someone steps on his domain or doubts his authority, his true colours exposed.

And, once again, “Mind meld” is a great evidence of that. Would callous, unsumpathetic guy without heart have a wall with pictures of his fellows? I’m afraid not. Donnie has a soft, caring heart.

There’s an alley of his the dearest moments, because photos - are always memory, precious moments we want to keep. 

1 - from “Minotaur Maze”. Don loves good pizza, loves his brothers, and they have a little adventure together. Yeah, this photo isn’t on champ wall, but still.

2 - from “Mascot melee”. Important day for bros as they show themselves to people at daylight to rescue Raph and their operation to buy a new robe for his father. It’s their joint brothers dance, and D is loving to dance, remember? Definetely special occasion.

3 - from “Mascot melee”. Splints was really glad to receive a gift from boys. And Donatello, as we know, is always eager to achive for pop’s approval. This for sure must be in his precious moments collection.

5, 7 - from “Donnie’s gifts”. He even keeps a dorky photo, which Raph uses as profile pic at Donnie’s number.

8, 9 - “Down with the sickness”. It was funny to survive all the 7 stages to achive what boys wanted. They failed, but still.

10 - from “Al be back”. Who knows that Splints is so good at singing?

4, 6 - from “The Fast and the Furriest”. Strange choice, cuz, you know, photos ten seconds before his collision with April bat?

And yeah, he HAS April’s photo here. And at this pic it’s April, and April alone,without his brothers. 

Don’s a real softie, see?

And avoiding physical contact is a way to protect Donnie’s already shattered self-esteem. To not cause any doubts in front of girl which he’s interested in. That’s possible reason why we did not receive any heartwarming hugs in “The Purple Jacket”.

But Donnie carries April, because it’s her birthday. On the one hand, the girl claims that  her b-day is cursed, and Donnie could, by any chance, do something nice for her, and on the other hand - any request of the bithday girl - is the law, as we could see earlier.

Gift for birthday girl

There is no Donnie in the scene after Draxum throw off Warren's arm. While Raph comfort April about her birthday, Donnie was looking for it to present it to April.

He knows the best what is the most precious gift for her. Warren Stone, her idol, goat of making news; she have been in Stoneheads fanclub for 9 years. Also, it seems that Donnie is the one of turtles, who collected info about this worm.

Also, he stopped immediately when April stepped between them and show no disappointing (remind you about Donnie's sadistic science guy nature). The reason is April.

And another cute detail: their glasses are the same form.

Another episode "Mystic library" has slightly touched D&A interaction. But were talking about Apritello, it's all hints but quality.

When Mayham trapped in the mirror and Raph, Leo and Mikey obviously are not coping, April decides to call Donnie to clear situation up.

Donnie, mister "I ruin everything", she's going to call for help. I repeat this. April calls for help Mr. Science to solve mystic problems with her pet. MYSTIC PET.

 And he AGREES.

Turtles dissuade their friend from calling Donatello but after a while, April returns with Donnie, and sees the bathroom in ruins.

I'm gonna clear this moment.

1. April haven’t called Donnie.

2. Some time later she returns with Dee.

3. Our girl is pretty shocked to see her bathroom in ruins, argo she didn't see/hear Raph chose to solve problem with smashing.

It must mean only ine thing: April went for Donnie by herself. We don't know where was he, we don't know what the reason April brought Donnie with her by herself, 'cause we know that if she call Dee, he will definitely get to her immediately.

Something is definetely off.

By the way, April changed Don’s profile pic.Yeah, the first one is very informative since Donnie is a turtle and he’s purple and he has bandana. Seems like April have done it by herself, editing the photo of real turtle. She didn't put a lot of effort into this, this image doesn't show her real attitude towards Don. But second is more personality-tinged. Sleeping Donatello in all his gear - this detail can tell us about only one thing - he was photographed when he fell asleep after his sleepless night(s) working hard at something - is something she can catch or receive by boys (namely speaking, it’s Leo, according to Ben Schwartz stated in an interview, that if Leo had an Instagram account, that 60 to 70% of his photos would be his brothers caught sleeping or slipping on things). And still. April has a dorky and little embarrassing pic of Donatello and this is... Interesting and cute?

This profile pic remind me about ROTTMNT: Sound off! (2nd issue)

The next station is “The Purple Game”.

Another episode in which the interaction of the characters is small in timing, but great in content.

And once again: they have a lot in common. I’d never tired of repeating this thing ‘cause the series do the same trick, showing one thing from different points of view. April and April shares the same taste in games, the same attitude, the same mojo. 

But the most important thing here is how D&A interacrions are shown in this episode. Unlike other episodes, the interaction here is indirect, is provided by gaming.

Their customized avatars reflects their personality. I mean, the colour schemes (though Donatello has never shown any interest in yellow, he used it for customization of his persona), the way their avatars looking. Game even refering to Sherlock_Corn as “she”, albeit it’s impossible to refer to her avatar in female pronoun. Because, you know, design and nickname?

And the in-game interaction of the avatars resembles D&A irl relationships. Bootyyyshaker 9000 don’t like togetherness, he’s looking like Donnie’s expectation of himself (cool and tough guy, as D sees himself in his own dreams)

Their dialogue

Actually. Actually, Donnie and April are not able to hear each other as game has no voice chat, but their lines make an perfect dialogue nevertheless.

April:Bootyshaker9000? Donnie? 

Donnie:April? You’re the last person I need to destroy to achive rank №1!

April:Ditto!

Both:There can only be one!

Donnie said the cheat combination, so April would know for sure what he is supposed to do, but she has no idea.

So, once again: their sync is incredible.

And can we talk about that?

April’s attack

As it seems, attacks may be customized by players. Bootyyshaker has attack that refers at Donatello main feature - superior intellect.

And this attack isn’t effective, because REAL April O’Neil has a resist towards it. She has known D for years, she knows what he’s capable of, she’s aware of his nerd side. April’s immune to it, so Sherlock_Corn is.

 Sherlock_corn has a default attack - kernel cannon. It’s nod to her nickname: kernel, corn, the same book. But her second atteck is something reflecting her personalitiy. Plus, April is aware of Donnie’s “fear” of togetherness. All’s fair in love and war, right?

April took a lot of BS9000 hp by her “friendly hugs”. And, by the way, his sweet reaction for hugs.

So:

The selection of the final opponent. It might be literally anyone, but we wouldn’t be able to see Dee’s obsession in that case. Yeah, he’s already had a  demon possesion ™, but it was too easy to him to win. No challenge. No “kill or be killed”, “It’s me or you” mojo.  He needed some tough gamer for challenging, to develop his character, push him too far. And  April, actually, is an excellent choice to reveal the character of certain purple turtle.To expose his true colours. And April do a great job: they know each other, so battle will be spicy, they are both compepitors, they are so alike, so it would be intersting to watch Donatello vs April. And it will, ‘cause In-game April and In-game Don is somewhat different than them usual.

April is Don’s slayer for sure. She’s good at gaming, her last attack was almost fatal for him. So he had to to cheated on her. 

Captain Cuddlecakes. Yes, she know about his afraid of togetherness. And there’s lovey-dovey attack animation with this cuddling and Donatello’s persona behaves like him. And it was SPECIAL RUN, so... I haven’t the foggiest why. Cute detail, I mean.

Just look at it.  Isn’t it cute?(at least we got their hugs somewhere... kinda. kinda.)

“Snow Day“, albeit  being family episode, shows a lot about D&A relationship through “family war”.

First of all, the same taste in films.   

Donnie’s already shown the same attitude to fashion, scary things as Cap O'Neil, April shares the same gamer’s mojo as Donatello, but now? We have Donnie and April that are loving the same movie.

For love of purple supernovas, of all the Jupiter Jim’s movies (and there are more than 60 of them), that's a convinient coincidence, they like the same movie.

It stated in series several times that Dee is fond of Atomic Lass. He had crush on her when he was child, he admires her by all his heart, so it will make sense if films with this character he would be his favourite. It’s logical, isn’t it?

Atomic Lass, even if she is part of JJ-universe, however, isn't in every movie. Leo described "JJ: Pluto vacation IV" and there is no sights of Atomic Lass. Like, at all. 

Nevertheless, April’s claimed that “PV-4” is the best movie of the time, and Don agrees. 

April:What the whaaaat? Hold up, Skip. “Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation 4″ is the best JJ movie  of all time.

Donnie:Ranked, by us, just now. So it’s basically official, no arguing.

And they do this thing again. Reflecting each other. Facial expressions, intonations, poses and etc. Haven’t I mentiones that? Mirroring is natural way to build communication. People, who communicate enthusiastically, who have sympathy to each other, feelings of certain nature, unconsciously copy each other's poses.

Direct reflection and close contact have a strong effect. This is used between lovers, people with close relationships or interested in each other.

And you can see that during not only episode, but through the whole series. 

Poses, gestures, facial expressions they share constantly. Even if they are apart, they are mirroring each other, showing their bound. Because Apritello is not always about sitting close, holding hands and blushing. Apritello is about staying together even if they are not.  It’s about solid foundation, about synergy, about chemistry Donnie and April share. And all of these are not always so obvious and clear, evident. But so realistic nevertheless.

And that’s why they splitted off the fam - they are too close and alike. 

I stated it before but DonniexApril team is way more effective than Donniexbrothers team. Donatello and April are equal, worth each other. They are comfortable with each other, their teamwork is amazing. 

They are always near, close to each other for the entire episode. Stand up for each other, side by side. They have no need to do team-building, because their sincronization is incredible. April works well together with Donnie, their skills compliment each other. 

I love that April in a first place look at Donnie to check is everything alright.

And a cherry on top?

This inviting gesture. Donnie just watched all along how his brothers and April try to throw some cold water on this situation (khem, it slipped). But when April call him with this inviting gesture, he’d like to help. 

In other words, he was waitng when April requests for his help.    

Composition’s boners

Sometimes it happens during the show, but this episode beat hte score at this point. I say only one word: physics. Or, more precisely, the force of attraction. Or, maybe Mayham.

... Anyway.

Fitting in the type

April can play not so nice against her enemies, she got steady hand and meanness, merciless and reclessness. She’s passionate and kinda badass, sassy - in a positive way, she’s baddest girl who can kick your butt if you mess with her, and she really good at this. 

She has a fire, and Donnie likes that. Dee never stated that directly but miss O’Neil impressed him so many times and in different way so it’s kinda pretty obvious. 

Just look how Donatello reacted the way April took Raph down a peg. Her actions are elegant, relaxed but really sly. She almost dare Raph to put his flag on top only to bring him down to Earth in really painful way. She destroyed Bros’ team so easily just by waiting a bit and by calling Mayham. 

She’s definetely got some pepper.

Pretty cute but baddest, don’t you think?

And Donnie was impressed for sure, he admitted it - “That is fun for me”. He don’t even stand a chance, c’mon: she’s smarass and elegant, she can be mean and cute at the same time. 

Even though that’s it for season 1 analysis (the last series is more appropriate  to review as part of 2nd season, plus it was a reaally big post, I need some time)

You can refresh this whole situation in the car 1 and the car 2 or follow the hashtag #apritello express as you please. It’s a pleasure of mine, keep in touch :)

[i-love-hobbies]

My happiness with Eda kinda not being rude towards Lilith (ft. Hunter)

I already praised this but I just realized, I should have more!

In this essay I acknowledged everything bad Lilith has done, so I'm not doing it here, but you DON'T need to read it to understand this post!

Here I forgot something really important.

Lilith was in a cult!

We all know about the people that tell cult members stories of how they have sacrificed people to satan and then laugh about it.

They're laughing about someone being genuinely scared for their life!

This is a threat to them!

Sometimes people that run cults use this to make sure their members are scared from the people outside the cult.

They also make them try to "save" others so it gets even worse.

I'm really happy that Eda's answer to "You look like some sort of a trash collector. Oh wait, you are!" wasn't "I was told by wild magic to sacrifice the person that says this to me at midnight! The last time this happened It felt so relaxing! See you then!"

This repeated a few times in my opinion would have stopped Lilith from saving Eda in episode 19, because if she doesn't join the coven she is beyond saving plus Lilith is risking to become just like her. And later on Lilith would have probably had even more mental health issues. I don't want to imagine Luz, King and Hooty.

Disclaimer:

I can't find a way to continue without saying how I think this should be handled. So I should say I'm not an expert.

I'm an atheist, the last supernatural thing I believed in was fortune telling, chakras and so on. But I realized how easily this can be used to scam people.

My parents buy this tea from this people, that say every doctor except for surgeons can be replaced.

Luckily my parents don't believe in everything.

I wouldn't say I have a lot of experience with this as I'm not sure if what I described is called a cult, honestly. But I've seen some stuff.

Like the fear in my mom's eyes, when I don't take tea, cause it "helps with my tics, adhd and mental health".

How did Eda handle it?

We don't know much about how Eda decided to not join a coven or how much she has heard of other people stories.

But we do know at one point she stopped believing in Belos.

Season 1

She never really talked about Belos with Lilith.

I think this was a good choice, cause all she would get is Lilith telling her how clearly in the wrong she is. Plus Lilith is tired, she can barely process new information and everything in her life is about the coven.

I've heard some people suggest that Eda should have broken into the coven and gotten Lilith out of there. This is a horrible idea. It would only scare Lilith and she would try to run away.

She shouldn't be kept captive. This will traumatize her even further. At this point she'll try to kill herself so she doesn't become like her sister.

So what did Eda do? She put on a show for Lilith to enjoy, full of nostalgia.

She gave Lilith what she needs, a break.

She was showing her that things haven't changed.

When Lilith opened up a bit in episode 11, she showed that it isn't dangerous.

When Lilith came to her house, she played a game with her.

The only time she did something resembling her "I'm gonna steal your tongue." jokes was "If anyone is putting you down it's gonna be me."

Which considering what just happened was clearly not gonna be taken seriously and gave Lilith even more nostalgia.

If Belos didn't give Lilith a timer she was on her way out of the coven.

The problems I have with Eda here are her laughing at Lilith for thinking she'd join the coven as if anyone in there is an idiot, making Lilith defensive.

Also her lie in episode 17 which made the game way too important.

Don't get me started on what would have happened if she lost or when Lilith realises she was lieing.

Episode 18/19

Now in episode 18 Eda lost it. She tried to talk Lilith out of it IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT.

She was trying to hurt Lilith the whole finale, both physically and emotionally.

I'm not calling Eda a bad person, this is how humans react, she went through hell, but this was a mistake.

She should have tried sneaking or something and if she got caught only force to the point of getting out. No name calling.

Season 2

It took her less than two weeks to stop guilt tripping her.

They worked on their competitiveness problem in the second episode.

They could trust each other with physical stuff like the other putting themselves in danger for them.

Lilith is in a safe space, wether she believes so is debatable, though.

I'm impressed by Eda except for the guild tripping but again she's "human".

She deserves praise for this impressive response to Lilith being in the coven. It's not perfect but knowing the average person, it's godlike.

Hunter

After episode 9 I think she might try to help, but so far she hasn't.

She threatened him and then got humiliated.

She made fun of him even after seeing Hunter obviously being hurt by it.

"Don't you recognise that annoying voice?"

"Why does everyone say that?"

"You must be fun at parties!"

No wonder Hunter doesn't respect her at all. He has only seen her the episode after the finale and one episode after Eda's requiem.

The last line was after he was trying to help her.

The only good thing is that, she isn't talking about Belos.

I died from second hand embarrassment watching both of these episodes.

[bestiarum]

Alright.

You know what? I know. I KNOW.

The ending? By far the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

But is it really the ending of the story? I mean, this episode felt so differently than any other episode of the show? Everything that happened in the past 15 years was thrown out to the trash. And you know what? I'm actually glad. And don't get me wrong, I am pissed and sad and devastated and disappointed because this show has been the most important part of my life. It was the one thing that kept me going, the one thing that made me laugh, and cry and care. And it hurts like hell to see it end this way. But you know what? Fuck that. Honestly. Fuck the producers, the writers, the CW. Fuck all of them. Apparently they don't know the story at all. They don't know who Dean and Sam and Cas are and they don't know how their story ended. When I say that I'm glad I mean that I'm glad that this episode was so incredibly horrible. You know why? Because it's easier for me now to pretend like it never happened. Simply because it just didn't fit with the story. And yes, I know that it's awful that the show failed us and disappointed us in such a profound way. We all hoped for something better, we all hoped for something that would make this show remembered as one of the best shows in history. But I will remember the show as the best story in history regardless of the ending. And it hurts and it's tragic that we can't have a canonical ending that would satisfy us, but for me, right now, it's going to be fairly easy to imagine a different ending. Because when the writers of the show completely fail to understand the entire story and the characters, it just makes it easy for me to believe that they are just like Chuck. That this is not the end of the story, that this is not how it went. That this is just some crappy writing that Chuck is responsible for. That all the things that the characters have been through, every bit of pain, all the tragedy and tears were actually worth something, and that Sam and Dean and Cas and Eileen got their well-deserved happy ending.

This is not me trying to tell you that the way Supernatural ended is a good thing, because it's not. I left a 1 star review on the IMDB page, which has never happened before. It's queerbaiting, it's horrible and unacceptable to end such a beautiful story in such a way. All of us have every right to want to tear whoever is responsible for that apart. But I think that the show is so much more than just a show, that it's possible for some of us to move on and to have our own version of the ending. Apparently, we know the characters better and we care for them more. It's us, the fans, who carried the story and brought it to the 15th season. It was us who loved Castiel, it was us who insisted that Destiel is real.

I pity the members of the crew, the actors, and everyone who actually cared about the show. I pity the fans, myself included. It's unbearable to think that all these years of work and love and care that so many of us put into that show is just wasted now. It's awful that we never got to see Cas and Dean kiss, or Sam and Eileen get married, or Dean own a bar, or all of them retired, on a beach somewhere, sipping on their beers. And it hurts me so, so much to realize that Supernatural will be remembered as a bad show with a bad ending. But I also think that all of us who loved it, and who laughed because of it, and who cried because of it, and who cared about it will remember not the ending, but the story that we have been told, and in which we participated, for the past 15 years.

And of course it won't feel as good and fulfilling as it could have felt if the show ended well. But my love for the earlier seasons, for the earlier episodes, for the characters, the story, and the members of the crew will not disappear. It will not vanish because all of this is too important for me and I hope that it's too important for all of you, too.

Knowing you, has been the best part of my life. The things we've shared together, they have changed me. You are my family. I love you. I love all of you.

The end has no end.

[lunmelia]

A List of All of Dean Winchester’s Injuries

Yes. I did. I did go through every single episode of Supernatural and recorded every time Dean got injured. Do not question me, I know what I did, I had no one tell me ‘no’ so I did it, and now I’m done. 

Now, this list might not be the most accurate. I did not sit down and watch every single episode in full, eyes glued to the screen for every time Dean got injured. I only skimmed. Here’s a gif I made to show how I did it: 

(sorry it’s bad quality it’s the first gif I’ve ever made) I skimmed through the episode and used the little preview screen to look for any time there was fast movement, blood or a spell that might require someone cutting their palm. I also kept an eye out for angel-banishing sigils. Since I only skimmed, there’s a chance I missed some injuries or even times that Dean was magically healed. So again, might not be an accurate list but I did my best. Feel free to tell me anything I missed. 

Here’s a key to help you through the list: - most of this lists the actual injury, e.g. “cut on left temple” but other times it’ll list an action that may cause injruy, e.g. “thrown into wall”  - “thrown into/against” means that he impacted the object, but the object did not break / he did not go through it - “thrown through” means that the object broke on impact and he ended up on the other side - “internal pain” means that someone used magic to do something to him, but I have no idea what, all I know is that he looked in pain and was mostly gripping his stomach - “handcuffed” means actual handcuffs were used, “tied around wrists” means either rope or zip-ties were used - “punched” means just punched in the face, any other area on the body will be specified - any episodes that aren’t on the list means he wasn’t injured in them

Some misc notes: - I do not include any injuries that don’t actually happen, e.g. future visions, nightmares, hallucinations or a fake reality - I might be inconsistent with the amount of times I specify what was used to knock Dean out, and not listing what was used. Sorry about that. It’s because I either just couldn’t see the object, or I was lazy that day - I don’t usually specify the size of the injury either, I usually just say “cut”, sorry. I only realised like 6 seasons in that I probably should be specifying the size, and also taking screenshots, but I couldn’t be bothered going back and fixing it, nor could I be bothered specifying the size from then on. I’m sorry, it was just going to feel weird if 6 seasons in I only then start specifying - I don’t include possessions, but I do specify when injuries happen while possessed - I include some commentary of what kind of injuries I thought should’ve happened based on the action - There will also be a list for Sam’s injuries posted later, but there will not be one for Cas. Going into this, I only wanted to know Dean and Sam’s injuries for some redesigns I want to do, I didn’t feel it was necessary for me to know Cas’ because he won’t have scars in my redesign (at least his vessel won’t). Please don’t expect me to go back and make a list for Cas, this already took up so much of my time and I don’t want to do it again. 

Let’s begin, shall we?

Season 1

1x1: Pilot - jumps off a bridge 1x2: W*ndigo - wrists tied above his head - cut on left side of forehead - cut on right cheek - cut on right side of neck 1x5: Bloody Mary - infected by Bloody Mary 1x6: Skin - tied to a chair around his chest, hips, wrists and ankles 1x10: Asylum  - shot in the chest with rock salt - mind almost influenced by Ellicot, manages to burn the corpse before he can, but it did cause him pain 1x11: Scarecrow - knocked out with the butt of a gun - wrists tied up above his head 1x12: Faith - electrocuted, passes out - heart attack - heart is damaged (their words not mine)  - healed by a reaper - life drained from him, process is stopped before completed 1x15: The Benders - cut above right eye - knocked unconscious with a pan - punched - burn on upper left pec 1x16: Shadow - cut on edge of right eyebrow - wrists tied - four claw marks down the left side of his forehead 1x18: Something Wicked - cut on left side of hairline 1x22: Devil’s Trap - thrown into a windshield - diagonal cut across his chest

Hey! Under the cut this post is really long!! Please be sure you want to read the rest before clicking because you’ll be scrolling for a while!

Season 2

2x1: In My Time of Dying - in a carcrash  - vertical cut on right side of forehead - cut on right ear - cut on left cheek - bruised and cut knuckles - head truama - cut on left forearm 2x2: Everybody Love a Clown - punched 2x3: Bloodlust - punched - thrown into a table 2x7: The Usual Suspects - handcuffed 2x10: Hunted - knocked unconscious by the butt of a sniper rifle - tied around his wrists and ankles 2x12: Nightshifter - choked - punched 2x14: Born Under a Bad Sign - knocked unconscious with a gun - shot in the left shoulder - thrown against a wall - punched - cut above left eye 2x15: Tall Tales - thrown around - punched 2x16: Roadkill - cut along the right side of his jaw / cheek - thrown against a wall 2x19: Folsom Prison Blues - handcuffed on wrists and ankles - punched - cut on left cheek - hit in the gut 2x20: What is and What Should Never Be - strangled - put to sleep by a Djinn - wrists tied above his head - drained of his blood 2x22: All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 2 - thrown into a gravestone - diagonal cut on the right side of his forehead

Season 3

3x1: The Magnificent Seven - hit in the face and stomach 3x2: The Kids are Alright - thrown around - punched - kneed - elbowed  3x3: Bad Day at Black Rock  - stumbles and falls into a table - hit in the chin with gun 3x4: Sin City - thrown around - strangled 3x5: Bedtime Stories - strangled - thrown into a cabinet (probably has cuts since the cabinet had glass) - punched - cut on left side of his hairline 3x6: Red Sky At Morning - thrown into a gravestone 3x7: Fresh Blood - slash on inner left forearm - thrown into a wall - bit on the right side of his neck 3x8: A Very Supernatural Christmas - head banged against a wall and knocked unconscious - tied to a chair by his wrists and ankles - slash on inner left forearm - slash on inner right forearm - cut on right side of hairline - punched 3x9: Malleus Maleficarum - either hexed, sick by voodoo or a spell, they never really specify, but he vomits blood (healed by a potion) - thrown into a picture frame (likely bleeding at back of head) 3x12: Jus in Bello - handcuffed - shot in the left shoulder - punched - thrown against wall 3x13: Ghostfacers!  - thrown around 3x14: Long-Distance Call - punched - cut on right eyebrow 3x15: Time is On My Side - thrown into a cabinet 3x16: No Rest for the Wicked - kneed - punched - cut above right eye - thrown onto a table - torn to shreds by a hellhound - (3 long slashes on left thigh) - (4 long slashes down chest) - (1 long slash from right shoulder to hip, back and front) - DEAD 

Season 4

4x1: Lazarus Rising -(resurrected by Castiel, clean slate, no scars) - handprint burnt into his left shoulder - cut on inner left bicep - bruised and cut knuckles - bleeds out of his ears from Castiel trying to talk to him 4x2: Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester - punched - kicked in the face - kicked in the gut - Victor’s ghost hand in his chest 4x3: In the Beginning - thrown into a wall - punched - kicked - thrown into a bookshelf 4x4: Metamorphosis - thrown against a wall - strangled - slammed into a table and knocked unconscious - cut above right eyebrow 4x5: Monster Movie - shoved into a wall - drugged - tied down in a metal contraption - punched 4x6: Yellow Fever - crashed into a shopping cart - infected by “ghost sickness” - three scratch marks on inner left forearm - punched - both inner forearms scratched up (disappears once the ghost is killed) 4x7: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester - internal pain - thrown into a wall 4x8: Wishful Thinking - super punched into some trash cans - possible broken knuckles - strangled 4x9: I Know What You Did Last Summer - shoved into a wall - punched - jumped out a window - dislocated shoulder - cut on outer right forearm - possibly some cuts along his torso - slash on outer left forearm 4x10: Heaven and Hell - punched - choked 4x11: Family Remains okay so I literally could not see a thing this episode, it was a very dark episode, but I think Dean got punched 4x12: Criss Angel is a Douche Bag - hung by his neck 4x14: Sex and Violence - infected by a siren - punched - thrown around - stabbed in the back of his right shoulder 4x15: Death Takes a Holiday - thrown into a gravestone and knocked out 4x16: On the Head of a Pin - punched - cut across nose - cut above left eye - strangled 4x17: It’s a Terrible Life - thrown into a shelf - thrown against a wall - cut on left side of hairline 4x18: The Monster at the End of This Book - hit by a car (he’s fine) 4x19: Jump The Shark - thrown through a glass door - punched 4x20: The Rupture - cut above left eyebrow - punched 4x21: When the Levee Breaks - punched - kneed - thrown face first into a mirror - thrown into a glass table - strangled 4x22: Lucifer Rising - punched Cas, hurt his knuckles

Season 5

5x1: Sympathy for the Devil - punched through wooden railing - kicked through a door - kneed - drew an angel banishing symbol so there is a cut either on his left forearm or left palm - stage 4 stomach cancer (healed) 5x2: Good God, Ya’ll! - kneed in the groin - punched 5x4: The End - knocked unconscious - handcuffed - punched 5x5: Fallen Idols - punched - knocked unconscious - tied around wrists 5x6: I Believe The Children Are Our Future - thrown into a wall - strangled 5x7: The Curious Case of Dean Winchester - aged rapidly into an old man 5x8: Changing Channels - grabbed on right bicep with super strangth - shot in the back (possibly healed by Gabriel? they don’t specify what happened) - shoved into a door 5x9: The Real Ghostbusters - thrown against a wall - strangled 5x10: Abandon All Hope - punched into a tree - cut on edge of right eyebrow 5x11: Sam, Interrupted - thrown against a wall - punched 5x12: Swap Meat - thrown into a wall - thrown into a mirror 5x13: The Song Remains The Same - strangled - thrown through a window - knocked unconscious  - thrown around 5x14: My Bloody Valentine - punches Cupid - thrown into a door - cut above left eyebrow 5x15: Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid - handcuffed 5x16: Dark Side of the Moon - shot in the chest - DEAD (resurrected by Joshua) 5x17: 99 Problems - bruised and cut knuckles - strangled 5x18: Point of No Return - drew an angel-banishing sigil so he must have cut himself somewhere but it isn’t visible - shoved against wall - punched - kicked into chain-link fence - cut on left cheek - handcuffed - split lip - cut on his chin 5x19: Hammer of the Gods - thrown into a shelf 5x20: The Devil You Know - cut on left side of hairline - kicked 5x21: Two Minutes to Midnight - affected by pestilence (stopped later on) - faints  - fingers stepped on, possibly broken  - left palm burnt 5x22: Swan Song - thrown into windshield - punched - cut on right cheek - broken nose - cut above left eyebrow - (all healed by Cas)

Season 6

6x1: Exile on Main St - stabbed in the chest with a syringe - poisoned by Djinn 6x2: Two and a Half Men - thrown around - strangled and passes out 6x3: The Third Man - there’s an angel banishing sigil that I’m assuming he drew, so there might be a cut on one of his forearms or palms 6x5: Live Free or Twihard - thrown into a dumpster - punched - forced to drink blood of vampire - passes out - cured of vampirism  6x6: You Can’t Handle The Truth - knocked unconscious - tied by his wrists 6x9: Clap Your Hands If You Believe - abducted by fairies (don’t know if he was knocked out or if something else happened) - punched - handcuffed - thrown into iron bars - cut by right eye 6x10: Caged Heart - knocked unconscious 6x11: Appointment in Samarra  - DEAD (brought back by Dr. Robert and Eva) 6x13: Unforgiven - tied up with webs - strangled 6x15: The French Mistake - thrown through a window - punched - internal pain 6x16: ... And Then There Were None - infected with the khan worm - electrocuted on his left outer forearm, leaves a horizontal burn mark 6x18: Frontierland - jumps through a window 6x19: Mommy Dearest - bit on the lower left side of his neck, near the nape (healed by Cas) 6x20: The Man Who Would Be King - punched 6x21: Let It Bleed - thrown into a car - strangled - punched 6x22: The Man Who Knew Too Much - in the impala when it’s flipped over - thrown over stairs and impacts onto a metal table (that honestly should have straight up broken his back)

Season 7

7x1: Meet the New Boss - horizontal cut on right forearm - thrown into a metal table and glass jars 7x2: Hello, Cruel World - left palm cut, maybe back of hand - broken right leg 7x3: The Girl Next Door - cut on left eyebrow - cut on left ear 7x4: Defending Your Life - possibly knocked unconscious - chained to a chair 7x5: Shut Up, Dr. Phil - thrown through a glass door - punched 7x6: Slash Fiction - handcuffed - thrown into a trophy cabinet 7x7: The Mentalists - window exploded next to him (he should earn some cuts from that) - punched 7x8: Season 7, Time for a Wedding! - thrown into a column - strangled 7x9: How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters - poisoned by goo (nothing serious, he’s just unconcerned with everything for a bit) 7x11: Adventures In Babysitting - horizontal cut on his left outer forearm - strangled 7x12: Time After Time - handcuffed - punched - strangled 7x15: Repo Man - stabbed with a syringe on the right side of his neck - tied around his wrists - vertical cut on his left outer forearm 7x16: Out With the Old - kicked in the face - thrown into a glass cabinet - thrown into a table with glass on it - thrown through a glass door 7x17: The Born-Again Identity - head banged against glass - thrown into a shelf 7x20: The Girl With the Dungeons and Dragon Tattoo - somersaulted through glass 7x21: Reading is Fundamental - drew an angel-banishing sigil, so there is a cut on one of his forearms or palms 7x22: There Will Be Blood - cut on left palm - thrown around

Season 8

8x1: We Need to Talk About Kevin - horizontal cut on his left outer forearm - horizontal cut on his left inner forearm - honestly cannot tell what’s meant to be his injury and what’s meant to be someone else’s blood. He might have cuts on his ears, head and neck, right cheek, and nose. Maybe along his chin and jaw too - bruised and cut knuckles - strangled 8x2: What’s Up, Tiger Mommy? - cuts around his right eye - cut on his upper lip - thrown into a wall 8x3: Heartache - punched - slammed onto his back - five holes in chest from fingers 8x4: Bitten - thrown into a wall 8x5: Blood Brother - cut on his left cheek, though I’m not sure if it’s new or from the last Purgatory flashback 8x6: Southern Comfort - punched - strangled - thrown into a table - infected by a coin? I’m not completely 100% sure what happened there - thrown into glass 8x7: A Little Slice of Kevin - horizontal cut on left inner forearm - rolled down a hill - thrown into some chains 8x8: Hunteri Heroici - hard impact on floor - hit in the face with a pan 8x9: Citizen Fang - punched - handcuffed - cut above right eyebrow - thrown into some wood planks - slice on the left side of his neck 8x10: Torn and Frayed - threw himself against a door multiple times - thrown against a window - strangled 8x12: As Time Goes By - handcuffed 8x13: Everybody Hates Hitler - thrown into a car - punched 8x14: Trial and Error - possible claw marks on left side, he puts his hand there but injury isn’t visible and not treated after 8x15: Man’s Best Friend With Benefits - thrown into a bedside table and knocked unconscious - thrown into a painting and tables 8x16: Remember the Titans - tripped and tossed onto the ground - flung back against ground - thrown against column 8x17: Goodbye Stranger - thrown into a wall - either broken or twisted right arm - punched - cut on left eyebrow - cut on bottom lip - cut on left cheek - cut near centre of forehead - cut on left temple - cut on nose, nose also probably broken - (all healed by Cas) 8x19: Taxi Driver - thrown into a tree 8x23: Sacrifice - handcuffed

Season 9

9x1: I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here - head banged against boot of impala - windows exploded around him, might earn him a few cuts - strangled - cut on left side of hairline - cut on left eyebrow - cut below left eye - possible cut below lip, can’t tell if it’s meant to be a cut or if it’s just a lot of blood - either a cut on his left ear or his ears bled from the sound of angels - possibly went unconscious for a second - two cuts on right cheek - cut near his left temple 9x2: Devil May Care - punched - arm twisted - thrown through a window 9x3: I’m No Angel - thrown into a counter and hits a trashcan when he falls off 9x4: Slumber Party - punched across room - kicked in groin while possessed by a witch 9x5: Dog Dean Afternoon - punched - kneed - elbowed - tied around wrists 9x6: Heaven Can’t Wait - thrown against a wall 9x7: Bad Boys - thrown against a wall - choked - thrown into a table - handcuffed 9x8: Rock and a Hard Place - enveloped by blue flame - thrown through table and knocked unconscious 9x9: Road Trip - punched unconscious - thrown against column 9x10: Road Trip - thrown into a bookshelf 9x11: First Born - thrown onto a table x2 - kneed - punched in the chest - shoved into a shelf, counter and wall - Mark of Cain transferred over to him 9x13: The Purge - passes out 9x14: Captives - knocked unconscious - cut on left eyebrow - tied around his wrists - cut on right side of neck, under jaw 9x15: #THINMAN - tasered unconscious - handcuffed 9x18: Meta Fiction - cut up knuckles 9x19: Alex Annie Alexis Ann - knocked unconscious with a piece of wood - punched through a chair 9x21: King of the Damned - thrown into a glass frame painting 9x22: Stairway to Heaven - handcuffed - punched 9x23: Do You Believe in Miracles - vomiting / coughing up blood - thrown into a concrete wall x2 - kicked in the face - crushed wrist - cuts along hairline - cut on right eyebrow - cut on left cheek - stabbed in the centre of chest with angel blade - cuts on chin - possible split lip - cut above left eyebrow - DEAD (wakes up as a demon)

Season 10

10x2: Reichenbach  - cut on left palm (heals itself) - cut on left cheek (heals itself) - handcuffed 10x3: Soul Survivor - tied around ankles (still handcuffed) - needle in right inner forearm x 4 - needle in back of neck 10x4: Paper Moon  - hit on the back of head with gun - punched 10x5: Fan Fiction - thrown into a wooden set piece - backhanded a few feet 10x6: Ask Jeeves - thrown into a bedside table and lamp - hit shoulders against doors multiple times 10x7: Girls, Girls, Girls - punched - hit in the face with a gun - hit in the gut - cut on left cheek - cut on left eyebrow - cut on right side of cheek 10x8: Hibbing 911 - knocked unconscious - tied around wrists - punched 10x9: The Things We Left Behind - bottle smashed over his head - cut on left side of head - kicked in the face 10x10: The Hunter Games - bruised and cut knuckles 10x11: There’s No Place Like Home - strangled - punched - kicked - kneed - thrown - cut across nose - cut on right eyebrow - bruised and cut knuckles 10x12: About a Boy - strangled - elbowed - hit repeatedly against tiled floor and fridge 10x13: Half & Catch Fire - thrown into a brick column - thrown through a door and into a shelf - strangled 10x14: The Executioner’s Song - hit in the right side - thrown around  - punched - thrown through a window - lots of small cuts around right eye - strangled - split lip 10x15: The Things They Carried - thrown onto a table and into the edge of a fireplace - tackled into a table 10x16: Paint it Black - backhanded across a room - strangled 10x17: Inside Man - hit in the back - tackled into a wood column - tackled onto a pool table - strangled - punched 10x18: Book of the Damned - tackled by someone who just jumped through a window - punched 10x19: The Werther Project - cut on right side of hairline - possibly a cut or two on or behind right ear - cut on left side of hairline - bruised and cut knuckles  - tied to a chair by wrists, middle and ankles - horizontal cut on right forearm 10x20: Angel Heart - kicked - punched 10x21: Dark Dynasty - kicked in the back - strangled  - thrown into a dumpster 10x22: The Prisoner - handcuffed - plastic bag over head, suffocated - tied down to a table by wrists and ankles - maybe some cuts on his head, arms and knuckles but honestly I think all the blood on him belongs to others, I don’t think he was injured at all while killing the Stynes 10x23: Brother’s Keeper - punches a mirror - cut on left palm - punched - struck by lightning that removes the Mark of Cain

Season 11

11x1: Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire - pushed to the ground 11x2: Form and Void - headbutted - thrown through a door and into a wall 11x3: The Bad Seed - thrown into a concrete wall - thrown through wood pallets - thrown into a chain-link fence - punched - cut above and below left eyebrow - split lip 11x4: Baby - punched - strangled - cut above left eye - two cuts below left eye - handcuffed - three cuts on right cheek, close to jaw - cuts worsened from the impala crashing - cut on or behind right ear - shoved against impala  - bit on left side of neck - cut on right temple - cut on nose - cut below lip - (all is hinted to be healed by Cas later on) 11x5: Thin Lizzie - knocked unconscious - cut on left side of hairline - tied around wrists - hit in head by gun 11x6: Our Little World - thrown through a mirror - thrown against stone pillar - thrown against wall 11x7: Push - face smashed against bars - thrown against desk - thrown through glass door - strangled 11x8: My Imagination - tied around his wrists - cut on left cheek - cut on left ear 11x10: The Devil in the Details - vomited - kicked - strangled - cut above and below left eye 11x11: Into the Mystic - eyes and ears bleeding from Banshee’s screech - head bashed into wooden column multiple times - cut on right side of hairline 11x13: Love Hurts - target of the “Kiss of Death” curse - wrist either broken or twisted 11x14: The Vessel - head banged on table - thrown onto table and lands on floor - shoved against stone column 11x15: Beyond the Mat - thrown against a metal beam - thrown through a door and into a wall - thrown down onto concrete ground - punched - tied around wrists 11x16: Safe House - hit by something and impacts the ground - knocked unconscious - cut on left palm - punched (while possessed by Soul Eater) - elbowed (while possessed) - thrown into table (while possessed) - chair smashed over him and knocked unconscious (while possessed) 11x17: Red Meat - punched - tasered unconscious - skid marks around left eye - broken ribs - overdoses on barbiturates (resuscitated) - handcuffed - strangled 11x18: Hell’s Angel - either internal pain or choked 11x19: The Chitters - punched 11x22: We Happy Few - thrown against a metal... cage, thing (I don’t know what it’s called) 11x23: Alpha and Omega - absorbs a couple hundred thousand souls that are later extracted by God

Season 12

12x1: Keep Calm and Carry On - arm pulled - foot pressed against throat - arm twisted - punched - knuckles punched with brass knuckles - thrown into car 12x2: Mamma Mia - handcuffed - hung by his wrists - punched with brass knuckles - cuts behind left ear - punched - (possibly healed by Cas seeing as he’s completely fine in the next shot) 12x3: The Foundry - throws himself against a door multiple times - elbowed in the face - choked - almost frozen - thrown against wall 12x5: The One You’ve Been Waiting For - tackled into a metal cabinet - punched - headbutted - thrown through a window 12x6: Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox - thrown into a table - thrown through a glass door 12x7: Rock Never Dies - thrown off a stage 12x8: LOTUS - handcuffed around wrists and ankles 12x9: First Blood - DEAD (ressurected by Billie) - cut on left palm 12x10: Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets - momentarily blinded - thrown into a wall x2 - right palm cut 12x11: Regarding Dean - blasted with a spell and knocked out - gradually loses his memory (restored by Rowena) 12x12: Stuck in the Middle (With You) - elbowed in the face - flung backwards - hit in gut with base of spear - headbutted - hit in the face with base of spear 12x16: Ladies Drink Free - shoved into a shelf 12x17: The British Invasion - flung back and hard impact on ground - thrown into big wheel 12x18: The Memory Remains - fell off railing and onto floor, knocked unconscious - cut behind right ear - wrists tied - head hit onto tiled wall 12x19: The Future - broken arm (healed by Cas) - elbowed in face 12x20: Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes - internal pain 12x21: There’s Something About Mary - kneed in the groin 12x22: Who We Are - stone dust in eyes - really bad gash in left knee - sedated (needle in left side of neck) - thrown into bookshelf - punched - injured leg kicked - elbowed in face - cut on right cheek - cut on left earlobe - injured leg hit with a piece of wood - hit with piece of wood - strangled with a piece of wood 12x23: All Along the Watchtower - previous injuries healed by Cas - hit in the face with gun - punched - kicked

Season 13

13x1: Lost and Found - thrown into a wall and knocked unconscious - cut on lower lip - cut knuckles from punching wood sign - handcuffed - punched - hit in the face with base of angel blade - punched in side - kicked into desk - headbutted 13x2: The Rising Sun - punched in the back and face - shoved into table - tackled through wood room divider - choked 13x4: The Big Empty - knocked unconscious x2 - handcuffed - hit in the face with gun - cut on left cheek 13x5: Advanced Thanatology - thrown into chain-link fence - kills himself (resurrected by Billie) 13x6: Tombstone - thrown back into trolley 13x7: War of the Worlds - punched - strangled 13x8: The Scorpion and the Frog - middle finger pricked 13x9: The Bad Place - headbutted 13x10: Wayward Sisters - hit in the face with base of spear and knocked unconscious - tied around wrists 13x12: Various & Sundry Villains - hexed with love spell - hexed to stay in one spot - thrown into wall - thrown into glass frame picture - strangled - hammer to the back of left knee 13x13: Devil’s Bargain - thrown through door and into wall - internal pain 13x14: Good Intentions - kicked by big strong man - choked 13x15: A Most Holy Man - handcuffed 13x17: The Thing - shoved into wall - strangled - knocked unconscious - tied down to a table by wrists and ankles 13x18: Bring ‘em Back Alive - shot in the right shoulder - poisoned by bullet (antidote applied by Ketch) 13x19: Funeralia - hit in neck / face not sure which one - punched - cut on left cheek - strangled - elbowed in face - punched in gut - thrown into table - headbutted - thrown around - kneed - cut on left side of forehead - right side as well - cut on nose - bruised and cut knuckles 13x20: Unfinished Business - whipped - super slapped by Loki - punched in gut - punched 13x23: Let the Good Times Roll - windows exploded near him - arm twisted and punched - strangled - cut on bottom lip - elbowed in the face - hard impact onto ground - punched in the gut and face (while Michael possessed him)

Season 14

14x3: The Scar - hit in the face with hilt and base of spear - tackled into wood column - headbutted - kicked in the face - punched - strangled 14x4: Mint Condition - headbutted - thrown into morgue drawers - strangled 14x5: Nightmare Logic - thrown across room - strangled 14x6: Optimism  - tackled into bookshelf 14x9: The Spear - elbowed in face - punched in gut - kicked - strangled 14x11: Damaged Goods - hard impact against floor 14x13: Lebanon - either jumped back and hit the wall or he was thrown back by the force of the fire - elbowed in the face x2 - kicked - headbutted - thrown onto counter and hits ground - super backhanded - punched - thrown into shelf with glass cups - strangled - cut on bottom lip 14x14: Ouroboros - backhanded - face slammed into wood pillar two times and knocked unconscious - cut on right temple - not able to breathe - temporarily blind - internal pain 14x20: Moriah - thrown into bookshelf - thrown through gravestone

Season 15

15x1: Back To The Future - thrown against dumpster 15x2: Raising Hell - thrown through shelf 15x5: Proverbs 17:3 - shoved against wall - strangled - thrown back - cut on left cheek - cut on right cheek - cut on left side of torso - cut on either right side of torso or front of right thigh 15x6: Golden Time - thrown across hallway and into wall - internal pain 15x7: Last Call - knocked unconscious - tied to a chair by wrists and ankles - blood being drained from left arm - punched in side - punched - bottle smashed over head - cut on left eyebrow - hit with pool stick 15x8: Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven - cut on left palm (healed by Cas) - punched - kneed - thrown - strangled 15x9: The Trap - knocked unconscious - super backhanded by God 15x10: The Heroes’ Journey - kneed in the groin - headbutted - strangled 15x12: Galaxy Brain - hit on wrists and face with stick - strangled 15x14: Last Holiday - thrown back - hard impact on ground - thrown back into wall 15x16: Drag Me Away (From You) - slammed onto ground and strangled 15x18: Despair - thrown into wall x3 - elbowed in the face - thrown back - pain in heart 15x19: Inherit the Earth - headbutted - thrown into wall - thrown back across beach - internal pain - punched - kicked - broken right arm - broken right leg - two cuts beside left eye - cut on nose - cut on bottom lip - cut above left eye - (all healed by Jack) 15x20: Carry On - slammed to ground - impaled on a piece of broken rebar - DEAD (permanently) 

[beckydoesthings]

various fics of hxl that i adore reading! this list is quite lengthy, but feel free to message me if you have any questions!

*will continue to be updated. also, if i mistagged you, i apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*

Love Is a Rebellious Bird

E | 134k | @100percentsassy and gloria_andrews

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

i think this tickled every bone of my musical self and also made me cry (are you seeing a theme here??) one of the first fics i fell in love with and one i keep coming back to.

Collision

E | 226k | @tequiladimples

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

(Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

the world building in this one is insanity - so much good mythology mixed in and it made me screech with joy. i think i can firmly say that i did not expect where the plot went, but that made the story so much better.

Flour and Chocolate

M | 145k | @danosphere91

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

OR

Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.

the miscommunication in this fic is SO REAL and makes for a good read. the rest of the flour and chocolate series is also fantastic. i thoroughly enjoyed both the ziam and ed/niall arcs that bring the whole story together.

run away home

E | 106k | @hattalove

Louis stands, in the middle of a clearing with his hands in his pockets, and stares. This boy—God, this gorgeous, gorgeous boy. He seems so clumsy, confused at the best of times, but there’s a wisdom about him as he speaks, a maturity that belies his age.

Louis is hopelessly, wildly attracted to him.

or, louis is a successful jockey down on his luck, struggling to get his life back on track after an injury. harry has a horse, a house fit for a prince, and a broken heart.

it takes them a while to figure out that they need each other.

this makes my inner horse girl extraordinarily happy - even if i don’t know anything about horse racing. louis’ story in this is beautiful and makes the whole piece worth a read.

waiting for the tides to meet

E | 60k | @nauticalleeds

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

gorgeous soulmate AU that gives me summer cruising vibes. worth the read for the lettuce scene alone (i kid, i kid)

Do Not Go Gentle

E | 70k | @afirethatcannotdie

“This is all a game to you, isn’t it? Well, it’s not for me. This is a real life or death situation,” Louis says, spitting the words at him. “And I just don’t think you’re cut out for it.”

For a moment, they stare at each other in complete silence. Harry can feel his blood thrumming between his ears, can see Louis glaring at him, feels red-hot anger. And then all he feels, oppressively and desperately, is lust.

Suddenly Louis is surging up to him to press his lips against Harry’s. Harry walks the two of them backwards, pressing Louis back against the door. Louis oomphs in surprise and brings his hands under Harry’s scrub top, scratching at his lower back.

“Lock — oh — lock the… fucking door,” Louis mutters.

When Harry Styles starts his first day as a surgical intern, he expects a lot of things: to treat patients, to observe a surgery, to feel a bit overwhelmed. What he definitely doesn't expect, however, is that the handsome guy he kicked out of his bed this morning is also an intern.

A Grey’s Anatomy AU where tensions are high, Harry and Louis are hooking up in secret, and no one has time for love. Or do they?

okay i’ve watched maybe 3 episodes of Gray’s Anatomy, but i feel like this encompasses the vibe of the show: medical stuff with a hefty dose of angst and sexual tension

Falling For Me Won’t Be A Mistake

M | 58k | @all-these-larrythings

Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn't know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he's ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.

one of my favorite mpreg fics so if that’s not your cup of tea, then don’t read it. i love surgeon harry with a vengeance, but honestly Gems and Niall are iconic in this one.

Watching the World Fall

E | 11k | @crazyupsetter why won’t it let me tag :(

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

i have a soft spot the size of Antarctica for Late Late AU fics (we stan James Corden) and for exes to lovers so this checks all the boxes.

autumn leaves

E | 27k | @suspendrs

“Brave?” Harry frowns, caught off guard. “No, not particularly.”

“You seem brave,” Louis decides, pushing off the wall and stepping on the butt of his cigarette. “You are strong, and you are not mean. That’s good,” he assures, touching Harry’s arm gently.

“Thank you, but that’s not true,” Harry smiles ruefully. “I’m really not anything special.”

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

love love french AUs and while this one isn’t sunshine and rainbows, it’s a beautiful yet heart wrenching piece. warning for period typical homophobia

caught up in your love affair

NR | 8k | @disgruntledkittenface

“And the corgis took to you straightaway,” Harry remarks.

“That’s true,” Louis chuckles.

 “I’ve spent the last 29 years being barked at,” Harry deadpans, jerking his hand toward Louis, “this one walks in, absolutely nothing.”

Louis outright giggles at that, saying, “They were just lying on my feet during tea.”

“Wagging tails,” Harry says, shaking his head.

“It’s because they don’t understand flirting,” Louis tells him, “you can’t charm them the way you do everyone else.”

Royal AU. Prince Harry announces his engagement to Louis Tomlinson in an interview with longtime friend and BBC host Nick Grimshaw. Inspired by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

just. 8k of royal fluff. that’s literally it and i adore it so much.

Apples Always Fall (As I Do For You)

M | 54k | @rainbowsandgucci

”Due to unforeseen circumstances, help is needed here at the orchard for the impending apple season. Looking for someone able to start within the next week or two at the most, is willing to do whatever miscellaneous tasks are needed, such as picking & packing apples, running the cash register, and other handywork that may need to be done. Must be good with customers, and able to lift up to 50lbs. Help will be needed until at the least the end of October. Please contact the number found on this page, or come out to the orchard and ask for Harry. All the love xx” --- Louis is staying at his Aunt's farm in a small town in Minnesota for four months. To deal with the boredom that sets in a week into his stay, he starts working at the local apple orchard, owned by twenty six year old Harry Styles. Louis quickly finds himself falling in love with the orchard, and he finds a family in Harry's friends Niall, Liam, and Zayn. He also starts to fall in love with Harry. Falling in love with him turns out to be the easy part.

i never thought i would enjoy an apple orchard fic?? but it’s so good?? farmer harry makes me laugh to think about, but the heartbreak in this fic is so. real.

Mine Would Be You

E | 114k | @crinkle-eyed-boo

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

exes to lovers drama but make it extra sad. the fact that we see so many facets to this story just makes it all the more painful, yet beautiful. this fic also reminds me of how much i love one mister niall horan.

One for Luck

E | 96k | @leavingonatrain

The very first time Louis remembers hearing Harry Styles' deep, deep voice, he's just won gold at the World Equestrian Games and he's officially back on Great Britain's Olympic team. He's also three sheets to the wind, drunk on victory and champagne, and there's a gorgeous boy whispering in his ear. Life's grand.

(AU: Louis and Harry are professional riders on the British Olympic team.)

again, i know nothing about horses, but i like to pretend i do for the sake of this fic. it’s beautiful, it’s smutty what else could you ask for?

Nothing But You On My Mind

E | 83k | @absoloutenonsense

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

i absolutely. definitely. sobbed tears at this fic. it’s just so beautifully painful to read. don’t want to spoil anything, but this is a must.

Adore You

M | 67k | @isthatyoularry

“We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.

Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.

Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.

i strongly relate to harry in this one! one of my favorite historical AUs and honestly i love the thought of louis in well fitting suits.

leave it to the breeze

E | 81k | @hattalove

Louis couldn’t be prouder of his bake, but there’s something—there’s something. Something about Harry Styles and the earnest way he measures, pours, mixes, scrapes. Something about the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he knocks the air out of his batter.

or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people's business. also featuring liam as louis's best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.

i. love. the. great british baking show. baking + h&l is amazing. and another reminder as to why niall is the absolute best.

Paint The Sky With Stars

M | 62k | @icanhazzalou grrr let me tag

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom.

Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform.

By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help.

Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

gorgeous historical fic that’s so accurate and painstakingly written. i keep coming back to it!

When It’s Late At Night

M | 25k | @all-these-larrythings

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

Or

The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

remember when i said i love Late Late AUs? yeah. i love that louis gives absolutely zero shits in this fic until he gives all the shits.

Chasing Empty Spaces

E | 79k | @domestic-harry

The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.

gorgeous historical AU that goes through Harry’s struggle with his sexuality wonderfully. this one also made me cry.

Resist Everything Except Temptation

E | 100k | @domestic-harry

The lethargic sound of heels clicking against wood resonated across the sea. Footsteps descended the staircase, every assured step creating a menacing aura as it grew closer. Perspiration gathered along Louis’ palms as the rhythmic sound halted in front of him.

“Captain,” Malik greeted.

Louis watched out of his peripheral as Malik’s boots shuffled back a few steps. Sweat matted the hair along the nape of Louis’ neck as he waited for something to happen. He felt as if a sharp blade was twisting his gut as the silence became tangible. There was a metallic slide of a sword being pulled out of its sheath, the sound startling Louis out of his cocoon of sterile shock. His shoulders jumped as the tip of a blade flattened underneath his jaw. Louis’ distorted reflection stared back at him in the polished metal. Engraved rose petals twisted his appearance as they crawled up the length of the sword. The sword lifted and took Louis’ chin with it.

Standing in front of Louis was Captain Styles.

OR

The one where Louis is the commodore's son who is forced to become a part of Harry's crew when he is captured.

love this pirate AU that’s got one badass gemma styles. also, harry as a super cool pirate in gorgeous clothes makes me super happy!

i’ll make this feel like home

E | 49k

Harry to groans himself and then takes a deep breath. “Okay, well. Here’s the thing. I peed on a stick.”

Louis isn’t able to get more than a shocked “What!” out before Harry’s steamrolling on.

“I peed on a stick and it says it’s positive, but you always prattle on about how it’s best to go to the doctor’s before you get excited, you know to confirm it because sometimes hormones are off or you have like a tumor or some shit and get false positives and what if I’m dying and-”

“You’re pregnant?!” Louis shouts out, stomach dropping as the words leave his mouth.

“Um, yeah… maybe.”

[the one where Louis' hopelessly in love with his best mate... who just happens to be pregnant with another man's baby.]

baby momma harry with hot mess!Louis is a recipe for disaster, but this one has plenty of fluff to make up for it.

Hands Clasped Tight

E | 44k | @afirethatcannotdie

“What am I looking at here?” Harry asks.

“This, my friends, is a ‘proof’ Instagram account, run by your students,” Liam announces.

“It’s got all this stuff about how the two of you are together,” Niall adds.

“I heard about that,” says one of the math teachers. “Confiscated a kid’s phone today when they were looking at it. I have to say, the evidence that you’re dating is pretty damning.”

“Really,” Louis says dryly. “Do you think being married for three years might have something to do with it?”

Or the one where Harry and Louis are high school teachers and their students have been playing matchmaker for over a year. Little do they know, Harry and Louis are already married.

love love teacher harry and louis that’s mostly funny fluff with a little angst. just a teeny amount. reminds me of my own experiences with meddling students haha.

*updated 2/16/21*

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 11: 7x02

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

September 30, 2021

7x02: Hello, Cruel World

Written by: Ben Edlund

Directed by: Guy Bee

Original air date: September 30, 2011

Plot Synopsis:

The leviathans destroy Castiel's body and break loose. Now Sam, Dean, and Bobby have to track them all down. Meanwhile, Sam is beginning to struggle with what is real and what is a hallucination.

Features:

Cas walks into the reservoir, Dean holding the trenchcoat like a war widow, more Lucifer hallucinations, finally an episode for the Samgirls, Bobby is a good dad and also capable of performing an autopsy, the indestructibility of leviathans.

My Thoughts:

Half of the effects in this episode are really cool and the other half are incredibly, atrociously bad. I love the black goo dripping off Cas’ fingers and down his face, it is so gross and so ominous and so good. The reveal of the Leviathan mouths though….. Just the worst cgi I’ve ever seen on this show, and there’s a fair amount of bad cgi on Supernatural.

The disappointing thing is that even without enough lead up on the leviathans as a monster (see my thoughts on what would happen this season in the secret good supernatural here), they’re a really cool monster until you see the bad mouths. The ability to infect people via dark clouds in the local water supply (hello, Dead in the Water parallel) and to blend in based on the knowledge of their host body (vessel?) is really cool! The blood splatter was a bit overdone, but it was in a fun way and definitely showed how lethal they are. And then the mouths appear and I completely lose the ability to take them seriously. Also, what a bummer that the one leviathan didn’t stay in the little girl. I love when the monsters are creepy little kids.

This episode gets a bump in my rating because I love watching Dean pick Cas’ coat out of the water and fold it up like a war widow with a flag while he says “dumb son of a bitch” in the shakiest little voice. Makes me sad in a way that is also somehow over the moon.

The Lucifer hallucinations ramp up in this episode and I love them, personally. Unreality plot lines are so fun and I think this one is really well done, even though I wish it ramped up a bit slower. This is my complaint for basically this entire season, can you tell that I love a slow burn? Anyways, I think the scene where Sam is talking to Dean and Bobby about his hallucinations and Lucifer is chiming in rules. It’s just good storytelling! Also very much enjoyed one of the later Lucifer hallucination scenes when Sam is in the kitchen and Lucifer is in the living room, and has red rim lighting along one side of his body the same way Sam does in the season 4 premiere. Good shit.

Do we ever get an explanation about what happens to the original hosts of the leviathans? Like once they’re in a human body they can shapeshift (but NOT in a cool way by ripping off their skin like the original shifters), so when does the soul of the host leave the body? This will never be answered.

If anyone else was curious, I looked up what “5150’d” means (Sam says, “Look, Bobby’s running the hub, I’m – I’m 5150’d, which leaves you to follow this thing up”), and it’s the number of the section of the Welfare and Institutions Code, which allows a person with a mental illness to be involuntarily detained for a 72-hour psychiatric hospitalization.

I do like that Sam and Dean get a chance to talk about their respective Hell-trauma finally, but if I’m remembering right it doesn’t really go much deeper than what we see in this episode, which does bum me out in a big way. Unpack your mental issues! Try and get better! These boys need a therapist (and medication probably wouldn’t hurt, Sam).

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“You think this fruit-bat fever dream is reality? You come back, I'm sorry, with no soul like some peppy American Psycho, till Saint Dean glues you back together again by buying you some magic amnesia. You’re real. I’m very real. Everything between is what we call set dressing.”

“It had to be a mess, Sam, or you wouldn’t believe it was your life.”

“You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine.”

“Now we’re getting there. Pinocchio’s seeing his strings.”

“Hey, so maybe I’m not real. Nobody’s perfect. And I’m not going anywhere, Sam.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 7.5

IMdB rating: 8.5

In Conclusion: Tomorrow is The End, one of my all-time favourite episodes! Get excited!

Also, if you’re in Canada, happy first ever National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. My trash province won’t recognize it but my not-trash employer thankfully will.

<< Previous Day | Next Day >>

[elizabeatrice]

Episode 12 - The Little Mermaid

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #3

Warning: Manga spoilers for The Little Mermaid arc, The Clock Keeper arc, and chapter 64!!! (just a bit, skip point no. 5, 6, and 10 if you don’t want to get spoiled) Also … this ended up way longer than I intended.

Well that was one heck of a feels trip. It’s probably my new favorite episode, just because everyone is here being wholesome lmao.

This is mostly hananene meta I ain’t even gonna lie.

Before we begin, shout out to Black Canyon, our newest anime cutie pie. Just look at him, folks. Just chilling with his sunflower seed.

He has no idea the kind of life his owner leads.

I said before that the best part of episode 12 is how it made Daydream worse, so now I’m gonna ramble about it.

“Maybe different species can’t understand each other after all.”

“Maybe it would be better if I were an apparition too.”

This is my favorite part of the episode. And no, not in the sense that I want Nene to die just so that she and Hanako can be together. But because of how Lerche actually explored deeper what was said only once in the manga.

Well, both in the manga and anime Nene ended up accepting the mermaid’s blood because of her desire to be popular, but the anime decided to revisit what she said earlier in the episode.

Not only did that make her decision kinda less selfish, it’s also just … sad. Thinking that your friend, someone you really cared about, doesn’t trust you enough to tell you things about themselves, to the point where you’re willing to go to such lengths as turning into an apparition just to understand them.

And if you think about it, isn’t this part of her true wish? To have her feelings be reciprocated? Man I just realized that as I wrote this and I am mindblown.

She thought she finally got her wish with Hanako. I mean, he said it himself in the first ep (”You wanted someone, anyone, to return your feelings, right? And as far as you’re concerned, sharing a bond with someone is the same thing, right?”). So it must’ve hit her really hard when she thought he didn’t trust her. Especially with all the wrong ideas the fishes were feeding her mind.

Then we got this little flashback. At first I was like, “Girl, you really be thinking that he doesn’t care about you while recalling the moment he apologized to you and hugged you? Are you insane?”

But after some thinking of my own, it occurred to me. Maybe she was too used to having her feelings not reciprocated, she couldn’t believe it when someone finally did. Not to mention Hanako did kinda trick her with his fake confession a while back (heh, he’s not the only one with trust issues, eh?). And that just made the entire thing even sadder.

So when Nene said, “But I thought, if I were an apparition like you, I could get closer to you. Then, maybe I’d be able to understand you, Hanako-kun. Although I know I probably don’t mean anything to you.”

That was a harsh wake up call for Hanako.

(Btw even more full circle, Hanako brought up Nene’s wish to become human again in the first episode. Nice.)

So. We got one daikon girl who’s afraid of not having her feelings reciprocated, and one ghost boy who’s afraid that daikon girl wouldn’t be his friend anymore if she knew about his past.

While in actuality, said daikon girl already decided she wanted to and would be his friend no matter what, and ghost boy had grown to care about her more than he thought he would.

He heard what she said to Tsuchigomori. He knew all about regret, too.  I mean, honestly, I think if she had said no, he’d let her walk away right then and there, no questions asked. But she didn’t.

Nene’s wish finally came true here. And the best part? It wasn’t the work of magic or curses. Just Hanako finally shoving his fear aside, offering himself as he was, and letting her decide.

And she still chose to be with him.

Heh. Lemme just. Sob for a bit.

Is my hananene trash brain reading too much into this? Idk. Maybe.

So props to the production team for managing to add even more weight to this arc. Which, they had to, since it’s the season finale and all. But I love what they did!

Onto my commentaries!

1. The KouNene

Good shit. She was worried about him but he didn’t want her to worry so he just smiled it off? These two are precious. Thought they were gonna interact. Sadly not. Buuuut! (see point 12)

2. Hanako’s classroom visit

He. Is. So. Adorable. Someone please take his babey license away he’s too dangerous.

Hanako’s classroom visit is like my absolute favorite clingy Hanako moment, so I’m really happy I get to see it this season. Ugh. My kokoro. Hugging her from behind, that semi confession vibe … Smooth mf.

The Mokke brushing Nene’s hair!!! The radish hairdo tho lmao.

On a sidenote, as a history nerd I appreciate that they’re actually putting lessons in the background. And the teacher talked about Apollo 11 again??? While my boy was in the room? That ish both hurt and pleased me.

3. The Clock Keeper rumor drop

Heeeeeehhhhh? What’s thiiiiiissss?

4. This freaking thing

*flips table* Darn production team been knew I’m hananene trash how dare they do this to me.

And lookie here there’s Kodama chilling.

5. Fishies! (!!!manga spoiler for The Little Mermaid arc!!!)

Pufferfish didn’t die. Well, good for him. Also I can’t believe they just call the other fish ‘yeah yeah’ lmao what the freak. Has it always been like that in the manga?

6. AOI AND AKANE (!!!spoilers for chapter 64!!!)

I swear I did not intend this numbering coincidence.

*claps* Boi. Nene asking Aoi about cutting ties with someone she’s interested in? And then Akane just swooped in and say he’d rather cut his head off than cut ties with Aoi? What about getting impaled, huh, boy? Would that do?

The not-so-subtle call out to these two pairs’ parallel? BOI.

7. Nene and Yako

These two just chilling together having girl talk, and Yako let Nene pet her? That’s some adorable shit right there. Admit it Yako you like her.

Yako also be really hitting home with what she said. It was extra heavy coming from her, considering what happened to her and Misaki. Boiiiiii.

8. Tsuchigomori

Oh my God, his laughter. Just … oh my God.

Tsuchigomori in dad mode is always one of the highlights of the episode/chapter.

By the way, in this scene according to the sub, Nene asked Tsuchigomori who Tsukasa is. But she knew who he is already. Is it possible that the sub misinterpreted it? ‘Cause I think what she actually meant was, “What happened to him and Tsukasa-kun in the past?”

If someone who speaks Japanese could share their wisdom, please do!

9. The 5 pm bell and twilight

Look how pretty they are!!!

Lo and behold, another important hananene interaction while the 5 pm bell plays in the background. Also, twilight? Y’all giving me Kimi no Na wa flashbacks.

“Twilight, when it’s neither day or night. When the world blurs and one might encounter something not human.”

Huh … kinda fits the ‘boundary’ concept but it still hurt.

Anyway they still had Hanako tell her what she already knew. And I did say in my ‘Walking Blind’ post that it’d be redundant. But since the episode kinda emphasized Nene’s desire to understand Hanako, having him actually tell her himself, even though she already knew it, was a big deal. It’s not about what she knows, it’s about him opening up to her. So I’m super cool with it.

10. The Broadcasting Club (!!!spoilers for The Clock Keeper arc!!!)

I love how Natsuhiko and Sakura are actually decent people. When he told Mitsuba that he was free to choose to stay with them or not? That’s solid, man. Though, of course, Tsukasa might not be as kind.

Speaking of, I know it couldn’t be anything else, but I’m still not sure if Tsukasa’s drawing was confirmation for season 2. Don’t wanna get my hopes up. Imma just enjoy what I currently have.

Kinda curious, though. Because Clock Keeper wasn’t Tsukasa’s doing. Maybe he was the one who released Mirai? But tbh I’d prefer if it wasn’t so. Because having more cases of supernaturals going loco without it being one of Tsukasa’s games is interesting, and kinda underlines the need of The Seven Wonders to keep supernaturals in check.

11. Kodama just chilling

12. The Adventures of Minamoto and the Summer Vegetables

You go, Kou! I’m rooting for you oh my God you’re so precious.

And look at that ikemen smile! Him supporting Kou is just top notch sweet y’all I can’t-

Ngl this was the biggest surprise of the episode. Teru finding out that summer vegetables = Nene? Broooooo. Interesting. I don’t think this little addition warrants any changes to their future interaction, so it should be safe. Clever replacement, too, those veggies.

It’s so sweet that Nene delivered those veggies to Kou! Just imagine the Minamoto family having veggies for dinner. Awww.

(Also, Nene wrote her name in hiragana instead of kanji. Is that a reference to how bad Kou is with kanji? Lol, so sweet)

13. The Coda!!!

Look at him. Just look at him. Look how lovesick he is y’all I can’t-

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.

All in all, I love this episode. Sorry for how long this post is. I’m just dealing with so many feels right now. Gaaahhhhh.

[consultinggallifreyanfallenangel]

This is probably dumb AF but I can't stop thinking about it..

*SPOILERS SPN & LUCIFER*

I just rewatched all of Supernatural from the pilot, again.. and now I'm binge-watching the newest episodes of Lucifer to get caught up.. and I just find it INCREDIBLY ironic that they brought Rob Benedict (Chuck/God from SPN) into one episode of Lucifer just to kill off one of the main characters.. It's just such a Chuck thing to do since he was the villain in SPN too. So it got me thinking..

.

.

When Chuck destroyed all of the other worlds, maybe more than just AU!Sam and Dean came through the veil from one of the AUs.. Maybe another entire Heaven and Hell, Angels and Demons came through and Chuck never realized or never cared because he was too focused on making the Winchester's miserable. He made everyone on Earth disappear, but when Jack brought everyone back on Earth, some of the AU!Angels, (which were safely hidden in AU!Heaven) decided to come to Earth. Hence the show Lucifer. None of these AU!Characters were aware of the Winchesters and vice versa. Just a seperate story in LA. That is, until AU!Michael finds the original Heaven and the God Vacancy. He wants to fight for the position, become the new God and ultimate ruler of both Heavens and kill any of his brothers and sisters or AU!Siblings to win the throne.

I feel like Chuck's character in Lucifer can be the same character from the SPN universe, since Jack made Chuck human and powerless. I could totally see Chuck changing his identity and moving as far away from the Winchesters as possible, such as France to start a new. Human life. I can see Chuck changing his name to something random like Vincent Le Mec and converting to a new language, French to fit in better.

I could see him being miserable and powerless and lonely for years only to realize that he can gain a different type of power. By using his skills in fear and manipulation to become a French Mercenary and control his own gang to steal valuable items to gain money and earn respect from fear. All of which leads to him becoming more and more powerful, in a business and non-supernatural way.

I can see Chuck/Vincent moving back to America, many years later. Planning on using his new found, non-supernatural power to prove to the Winchesters that he is not powerless and to kill them for revenge for stealing his Supernatural/God powers. He knows that he is powerless against Jack, but he can at least use his people to kill the annoying Winchesters who've done nothing but ruin his story and throw his life away like trash.

But so much time has gone by since he went by Chuck that he has almost forgotten what it was like to be God and to be a writer. He has been living a completely different life with a different goal than he had before. He finds out that Dean is dead and he decides that, that is punishment enough for dear old Sammy. In fact, it's kind of what he wanted all along. He wanted them to kill each other. But, seeing Dean die on a normal hunt, from ONE (1) nail; Chuck/Vincent found it hilarious. So, he decided there's nothing else he should waste his time doing to hurt Sam. He could kill his family off, but seeing him live without Dean means he will never truly be happy or forgive himself for not saving Dean somehow. So, instead of bringing his gang to Kansas to torment and kill Sam's family, he brings them to L.A. and becomes even more power hungry.

Eventually he loses himself in his new identity and completely forgets about his vendetta against Jack and Sam. He focuses on hurting as much people as possible to gain as much money and power as he can. Eventually AU!Michael finds Vincent, thinking he is just another human with a passion to steal if it's worth the price. But he recognizes Vincent and finds out about his previous occupation as God, until Jack stole his powers. AU!Michael convinces Vincent to use his crew to help him find and steal back AU!Amenadiel's necklace, which is the key to the AU!Flaming Sword. This sword didn't exist in SPN, since Dean's vessel was considered Michael's sword so Vincent was mesmerized by this discovery and became hopeful again. AU!Michael wanted access to the sword so he can win the war between his Heaven and Jack's Heaven. He promised to kill Jack as payment for Vincent's help finding the necklace. Revenge on Jack is the only thing Vincent cares about which he thought was impossible without his God Power. AU!Michael can finally get Vincent his revenge and all he wants in return is to become the new God which are terms that Vincent agreed to. However, he fully intended on stabbing AU!Michael in the back to get his own power back from Jack. But he can't access the Flaming Sword in Heaven in his human form so he decides to work with AU!Michael, for now.

Vincent captured and Tortured Dan who was sniffing around for him. He found out about Caleb who had Amanadiel's necklace on his corpse. Dan tried to get away but Vincent killed him. Vincent sent some of his crew to steal the necklace from Caleb's grave.

Later, AU!Lucifer show's up, unexpectedly. Sure Vincent torture and killed his friend for information about Caleb, but how was he supposed to know Dan was a friend of this AU!Lucifer's? He and his demon partner Mazikeen suddenly appeared and murdered all of Vincent's people and thus all of his power in seconds. Horrified Vincent tries to take a shot at AU!Lucifer, assumung he is human at the time.

But this AU!Lucifer easily disarms Vincent with a swipe of his hand, then shows Vincent his Devil Face. Vincent is horrified and never foresaw this happening. AU!Lucifer realizes that Vincent used to be God in this universe. He leans in close, showing Vincent his greatest fear and whispers, "You were always powerless, and a shit writer. Goodbye Father."

Thus, the shittiest character in SPN is killed off by his own AU!Son in Lucifer.

.

.

I know that there's a gazillion plot-holes, but let me have this.

[hot-tea-gardenparty]

SPN 15.20 Reaction

Okay finally watching it live here on the West Coast, albeit I’ve been spoiled by Tumblr so I already know the episode is utter trash. I am very upset. Do not read ahead if you’d rather feel positive.

-          Pie Festival. Sam brings up Cas and Jack and Dean just pushes past that like it doesn’t fucking matter. “We gotta keep living for them” FUCK THAT SHIT. I hate it. So we are just going to keep ignoring the whole Cas confession? Gotcha. Pics or it didn’t happen?

-          Where’s Eileen too? Does she matter nothing to Sam now? What was the point of bringing her back to life and the kiss and whatnot….if she doesn’t matter in the end.

-          Now we’ve got some rando family that I don’t care about and these dollar store mask wearing creepers. I don’t want to see this in a SERIES FINALE EPISODE.

-          So you got all these extras and all these other random actors on set….but you couldn’t include Misha in the finale? Wow.

-          Interrogation of the dollar store creepers. Boring. SO BORING. 15 minutes into this episode and I am BORED. Who cares right now about a VAMPIRE NEST in the FINALE EPISODE. Why was this put in here?

-          A barn….where Dean is supposed to be meeting Cas again but we all know that isn’t going to happen.  No….why would we actually bring back a character that has kept this show from cancellation over and over…let’s just have the brothers fight some stupid vampires that no one cares about.

-          Oh great a fight with the dollar store vampires. The fight choreo is a bit wonky….but if I was honest it’s always been a little wonky on Supernatural (at least the past few seasons).

-          HOW DID THE SPN WRITERS THINK THAT BRINGING BACK JENNY FROM S.1 WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN CAS? LIKE SERIOUSLY…WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK.

-          Fastest cameo ever. What the hell was the purpose of that at all?!

-          This is where Dean is gonna fall on a spike or something and die. Oh…nope…impaled by a vampire.

-          Seriously. Dean is gonna die here? HERE? NOW? He literally just got his free will. ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! Seriously….WHAT IS THE POINT OF DEAN DYING NOW? AND THIS IS WHAT KILLS HIM?  Dean deserves more than this. This isn’t the right way for him to die. Impaled on a spike by a shitty, second tier vamp. He deserved a life. This is just CRUEL.

-          Dean’s goodbye to Sam is kinda squicky. This is crossing into Wincest territory and it’s kinda disgusting. SERIOUSLY DABB WHY DID YOU FEED INTO THE WINCEST BULLSHIT.

-          This death is taking a while.

-          Sam doesn’t deserve this shit.

-          God, I would have been fine with a death like this for Dean if it had happened LATER ON DOWN THE LINE. BUT LIKE THIS? NOW?

-          Serious question. Why did Dean have to die in a barn? A link to Cas maybe? Fuck…why am I doing this to myself….I know now this show isn’t that deep.

-          Hunter funeral. Hey…Sam….question buddy….why didn’t you call ANYONE? No Donna. No Jody? Just you and the damn dog? WTF? Where is your found family? Apparently they don’t matter anymore.

-          The dog is the best part of this episode. It’s cute.

-          So now Sam is going to go on a hunt? Sure. Fine.

-          Dean is in heaven now I guess.

-          You cannot tell me that Dean arrives in heaven, where Cas is now residing, and Cas just doesn’t pop in at all to say HI? BULLSHIT.

-          All Cas gets is a fleeting mention? Thanks. I hate it.

-          “What are you going to do now?”   “I’m gonna no homo this shit-pony into the diarrhea smear sunset!”

-          Sam marries an unknown woman. Has a kid named Dean. Thanks….I hate it.

-          WHAT IS THAT WIG?! OMG NO. AHAHAHAHAHA! They didn’t even fucking try. Jared doesn’t even look aged…jesus christ.

-          Sam dies in old age. Fine. Whatever. I am already fed up with this shitty finale.

-          Why couldn’t supernatural just give us a happy ending in 2020?

-          Carry On My Wayward Son TWICE….IN A ROW. JESUS CHRIST. HAMMER IT HOME HARDER GUYS I HAVEN’T FELT ANYTHING YET.

-          Are you seriously telling me Cas hasn’t come by to say hi to Dean ONCE. NOT ONCE? Fuck I hate this finale. I hate it so much.

Final thoughts: This finale was a mess. Every single emotional thread they had strung was left hanging. I am honestly deeply offended that Castiel wasn’t in this episode. That he was barely even mentioned. I cried about that during the final scenes, not because Dean and Sam died. This finale was a cheap, slap-dash ending…it was the epitome of “rocks fall they all die”. I haven’t felt this hurt and angered by a finale since GOT. I had so much faith in Supernatural and it’s writers….I put faith in the meta readings and I tried to stay a positive fangirl with a sunny outlook. This finale just dashed most of my respect for whoever thought this finale was good enough. For whoever deemed these endings were going to make us fans happy. This was a slap to so many of our faces. It dangled multiple carrots in our face, “it’s not a good ending without Cas” or “Cas is an important character, we can’t leave him out” and “family don’t end in blood”. WELL…apparently family does end in blood…because Dean and Sam literally cared about no one else in 15.19 and 15.20 other than themselves. It’s like the entire ensemble cast was shoved to the side to make sure that the Wincest and brother lovers got their happy ending. I am so beyond heartbroken.

THIS IS NOT MY SUPERNATURAL FINALE.

IT NEVER FUCKING WILL BE.

[d4rk3stn1ght]

Haunted Playmate

Happy Holidays @houser-of-stories ! I was also your gift giver for @sanderssidesgiftxchange and I hope you enjoy your gift

Ships: Platonic Prinxiety, mentioned Analogical and Royality

Warnings: Past character death, cursing, mentioned murder, not meant to be unsympathetic Remus but it kind of comes off that way, if there’s anything else needed to be tagged please tell me

There was a creak on the floor that hadn’t been there before. Was someone invading his home? Well, what was his home. He looked over the banister of the stairs to see a man unpacking his things in the house.“

“Well hello there.” Roman smiled and gently greeted the stranger. Logically, he knew that the man couldn’t hear him, but it was still polite. He had manners! He was a gentleman, thank you very much! Roman watched him from a bit afar. This man tended to talk to himself. Virgil? Was that his name? He mumbled it under his breath fairly often. Virgil flopped onto the couch with his phone, probably to order pizza. He would too if he were the one moving into be moving instead. He missed being able to eat and do things. Well, he could push things over but he couldn’t leave the house. Roman sighed softly before looking through the house to see what his new housemate had done with it. So far, he hadn’t gone up to the attic. If Roman had his way, he wouldn’t be able to. 

Roman hums a gentle song as he peered into Virgil’s room. Oh! He had a Nightmare Before Christmas poster! Too bad Roman couldn’t borrow it or give him his own posters. His were taken as evidence or removed. It sucked but he understood why. He couldn’t exactly stop them anyway, not that he didn’t try. He shook his head at the memories the thought brought. He didn’t need to accidentally cause an inside storm again. It accidentally hurt a small child and he felt so bad for it even though he couldn’t help it. The room itself wasn’t that bad. Yeah, it was a bit dark and dreary, but there was some normalcy from his time. A string of lights to illuminate the room during the night (purple rather than a soft yellow), a corkboard for pictures or necklaces... The desk was cluttered with art supplies. Was he an artist? Did he have any sketches out? A glance over the desk confirmed that that’d be a no. Of course. Why would an emo have anything out in view that could hint at their past? They wouldn’t unless they trusted you. He knew that a bit too well. But ohoho, what’s this? There was a picture carefully placed on the desk with a number with hearts around it. Now that was interesting. Stormy knight had a crush? On this... Logan Omair? The teach? Too bad he couldn’t call that guy at the moment or he so would. He noticed a cup of pens a little too close to the edge and grinned. New game time. How long can he knock things over before the new guy noticed or left? He knocked over the pen cup and laughed at the sound of his new guest jumping up to look.

Roman left the room quickly and headed to the kitchen instead before Virgil could get there. He chuckles at him cursing at the mess but quickly pouts at there being nothing close enough for him to easily knock anything over. Well, he could always knock over the chairs. He froze though at the doorbell. That was really quick or he was losing time again. That tended to happen more recently but it doesn’t bother him as much anymore.

Virgil ran down the stairs and looked out the window before opening the door with an apology. Was he paranoid? Was he running from something? Was he a criminal?! He’d rather side with the law! Maybe he was just anxious. Who knew? Definitely not Roman. He probably never would. The dark and paranormal walked into the kitchen without looking in Roman’s direction. He grabbed two cups, one he set on the counter while he held the other to get ice and soda. Why did he need another cup? Virgil left the cup on the counter while taking his soda one to the couch. When he got comfortable he immediately swiped the cup off the counter before bolting again. 

Virgil smirked at catching a glimpse of Roman’s retreating form, “Gotcha.” He was so glad he didn’t take out his glass cups. A after setting the pizza and the cup of soda down a safe distance from the edge, he got up to pick up the discarded cup and set it down on the edge of the end side table. “Try that one you overgrown cat.” He snarks but unpauses the show to finish it as he ate. 

The ghost thought he was slick, didn’t he? Virgil knew about the haunted house rumors and was ready for anything. Well, as much as Supernatural taught and the limited research he had. While he hadn’t been there long, Virgil had already attempted salting the doorways and windows. He’d noticed a few things, too. The ghost could both float above and walk straight through it, so salt was a bust.The ghost seemed to only do anything when he wasn’t looking or not even in the room. He doesn’t know anything about him aside from him acting like a cat. It was kind of amusing but the pens were annoying. Empty Solo cup? No problem. A full cup and he’s just being a pain in the ass. Virgil took a deep breath before getting up and put the pizza box in the trash. He froze at the clatter of the cup but sighed in relief when there wasn’t a splash accompanied. Virgil mocked him slightly when he laughed. He was just thankful the ghost wasn’t hostile and was just being a bit playful. He settled into the couch again and sipped at his drink while spacing out in thought.

Meanwhile, Roman was snickering in what used to be his room. This was great! He was playing along. It was kinda disappointing that he wouldn’t put anything full against the edge anymore, but he understood anyway. Roman would feel the same way if roles were reversed, at least. He gently ran his hand across the wall. He knew feeling the paint was impossible, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to try. Roman missed his tangibility, but… nothing could undo what he did. Roman closed his eyes to get his bubbling anger under control. It’s not that Roman  hated him, but he was still angry and understandably so. As justified as his anger was, the man downstairs didn’t deserve the backlash it would produce. When he had calmed some, he headed to the stairway to see the poor kid was passed out on the couch with his show running. It was kinda interesting but he couldn’t risk it yet. Maybe the next day but not right now. He nodded in the sleeping form’s direction before heading up to the attic. When he got up there he headed to check on his object. He knew where his body was, but that wasn’t what he was tied to. Instead, he was tied to his class ring from his senior class. He tended to wear it everywhere and it held most of his best memories. That’s why he never let anyone up in the attic. If they were to find it and destroy it, well... that would be it. He would be toast and no one would be able to know the truth. No one had tried to talk to him before but hopefully, Virgil would be the first if he so chose or if he could even hear and/or see him.

A few days later the game was still on. Random cups would fall and Virgil had yet to see anything more than a glimpse of the ghost and the sounds of laughter, followed quickly by a cup hitting the floor. That said, the ghost was getting a bit bolder. He would linger especially when Supernatural was on. Virgil could feel the drop in temperature but if he tried to look, the ghost wouldn’t be there. Virgil had done more research on the property and found a few different murders but he didn’t know which one this ghost was from. Tired of the cat and mouse, Virgil hatched a plan. He needed a job for money and, since this was his second rewatch of Supernatural, he could miss a few episodes of the show and be fine. , Virgil decided that was going to announce he was leaving and leave the show on for the ghost to watch. Then, hopefully, he’d come back from applications and finally see the ghost.

Virgil set his trap the next day, leaving and returning a few hours later. When he got back, he made sure to be quiet as he crept in. His eyes widened. Sitting cross-legged in front of the screen was none other than his ghostly roommate. Dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt, he looked a bit younger than Virgil. Unable to see much else from behind, Virgil slowly crept towards the ghost’s side to see any other features so he could compare them to the other murders on the property. Unfortunately, the episode started the credits and the ghost turned, making a shout of surprise and scrambling back, 

The ghost almost looked panicked, “Um, hey! You’re back!” 

Now that he was facing Virgil, he could see everything. The gold crown on the breast pocket, the line on his throat from where it had been slit, dull green eyes and tanned skin muted by death. 

“You’re Roman!” Virgil exclaimed

“You can see me?!”

“Yes?!”

“That’s awesome!”

“No! Not awesome! I knew you!”

“You did?”

“Yes! Roman Kingston and Remus Kingston!”

“Highschool?”

“Yes. You kept making doll eyes at Patton Amato!”

“I did not! But, uh, uh how is he?”

“Frankly, weI haven’t talked much.”

“Who have you talked to?”

“Logan Omair, Remus, Janus,Remy... But I’ve only  Remy and Logan recently.”

“Cool…” Roman slowly unfreezes and shifts to a more casual posture. “So, I saw your little love letter.”

“What?!” Virgil, who had been doing the same, tenses right back up.

“The number? You-!”

“No! Why you?!”

“No idea. You should ask Remus,” he spat bitterly.

“Right… The article said…” Virgil trailed off, rubbing his neck.

“Yeah.” Discomfort is plain as day on Roman’s face. “Let’s not… Anyway, why’d you move here out of anywhere.”

Virgil is glad to change the subject, “You know, settling down and-”

“It’s because Logan lives here, isn’t it.”

“Shut!” Virgil snaps as his face tints pink.

“So it is Logan! Hah!”

“I will kill you again, you ass!” Virgil lunges towards Roman.

“You caaaaan’t,” Roman sing- songs and laughs as he dodges Virgil’s fist

“Get back here!” Virgil chases Roman through the room, thoroughly annoyed by the fact Roman has more mobility. 

“Nope! When’s your date?”

“Shut! Up!” He catches up and swings again, hitting nothing.

Roman just laughs at him, “Come oooon!”

“We aren’t dating!” Virgil flops down onto the couch in defeat.

“Not yet!” Roman teases.

“Not anytime soon!”

“Who says?”

“Both of us.”

“Why? You both liked each other in high school.” Roman also calms down a bit, sitting on the other end of the couch.

“Yeah, it’s been a little while.”

“Oh right.”

“Yeah. We said someday but for now, we’re just talking as friends and meeting up with anyone still in town.”

“Like?”

“Patton, Emile, Remus, each other.Remy will pop in someday soon.”

“What about Janus?”

Virgil shrugs, “I haven’t heard from him.”

“Ah.” Roman pauses a moment before speaking again. “When will you talk to Remus?”

“I’m going Wednesday.”

“Can you… can you ask him why for me?”

Virgil looks to Roman out of the corner of his eyes, “I can’t promise he’ll answer.”

Roman nods “...Right.”

“Yeah...” Virgil rubs the back of his neck, sensing Roman’s discomfort.

“Sooo... how’d job hunt go?”

“I’ve applied. They’ll call me to set up interviews.”

“Nice. By the way, what’s up with the emo aesthetic?”

“I told everyone it wasn’t a phase,” he jokes slightly.

“We didn’t think you were serious.”

“Dead serious,” Virgil grinned.

“You did not.”

He just burst out laughing.

“I can’t believe you did this to me! Me of all people! How dare you, sir!”

Virgil put an arm around his stomach as he kept laughing.

“You can’t be serious! No! Don’t answer that you dark fiend! I trusted you!”

He only seemed to laugh harder at his dramatics. Roman only pouted as Virgil slowly calmed down.

“You’re an ass.”

“You still love me platonically anyway,” Virgil teases.

“Sadly.”

He chuckles breathlessly,shakinghis head.

“Hey, did they ever find out why that band split up?”

“The one you listened to religiously in high school? No.”

“Damn. I enjoyed their music.”

Virgil shrugs, “I can play some for you.”

“You look like you know something.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“You tease! I can’t tell anyone!”

“I know,” *Virgil grins, “But this is more fun.”

“Asshole.”

“Nice to talk to you, jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Ahhh, there he is.”

“What?”

“The prick of a prince.”

“Hey!”

“Hello.”

“Why must you be so rude to me?” Roman swoons back, the back of his hand against his forehead.

“No one else can.”

“Rude!”

“I’m not that rude.” Virgil rolls his eyes.

“Yes, you are!”

“Nope.”

“Yes.”

“Not arguing.”

“You’re boring.”

“To you.”

“Exactly.”

“Ah, there’s the brat.”

“So good to be back,” Roman said sarcastically but it soon just turned into them giggling.

“By the way...”

“Hm?”

“Don’t tip over anything full ever again.”

“No promises.”

Virgil looks pointedly at Roman, “Roman.”

With a mischevious grin, Roman turned and ran, phasing away through a wall.

“Roman get back here!” Virgil scrambled to chase after him.

This seemed like a great beginning to a new chapter of both of their lives. And what a wondrous start it was.

[hen-of-letters]

To me, the Supernatural finale felt like a slap in the face. And then a suckerpunch to the stomach and a knee in the crotch. Afterwards some more punches, a bit more kicking, and a spit in the eye. So, here's my rambling account of just why I think it was so hurtful, and why I don't think I'll ever stop being sad and angry about how the show ended.

Stories matter. Everything that happens in Supernatural is the result of a decision. Each of these decisions carries a weight and a significance that resonates well beyond the screen.

Castiel's love confession in 15x18 is a beautiful, powerful thing. The love between Cas and Dean has been shown in the text for twelve seasons, but it had never been named in the text until that moment. Castiel's words brought their love out into the open.

However, his immediate and permanent removal from the rest of the narrative (aside from the briefest of mentions) is also powerful. He is erased from the text. After speaking, he is silenced.

Dean is silenced, too. He's never allowed to respond. With him never voicing his feelings for Castiel, their relationship is slammed right back where it came from: into the narrative closet.

Dean's love for Castiel is left as it always was: shown but not spoken. Open to interpretation. This is presented as a positive thing: there's a blank space left in the text where you can imagine them reuniting in heaven.

However, telling the audience that a love story between two men can't be openly declared and that their reunion can't be shown on screen is massively harmful. It perpetuates the idea that queer stories can only be told in the margins, in between the lines, in the silences of the text.

Claire is never shown on screen again after we hear that she loved Kaia. Kaia is rescued from the Bad Place, but their reunion is kept off-screen. Queer love is present, and at least in this case openly defined, but kept in the sidelines, unseen.

It's a phrase with a complex history, but it's telling that 'the love that dare not speak its name' came to be used as a euphemism for homosexual love. Queer love had to be kept silent out of safety. Even now, for many of us, being openly queer can endanger our lives.

Supernatural had a massive opportunity to say: queerness is not to be marginalised or silenced. Here is a love story that is central and spoken and celebrated. I think it's probably the enormous gap between the finale that we had, and the finale that we could have been given (which was the finale that the entire season had seemingly been building towards), that makes Supernatural's ending so heartbreakingly hurtful.

There's a reason, I think, why it feels so viscerally jarring for Cas' confession to never receive a reply or even acknowledgement. Disregarding every other episode of Supernatural up until that scene in 15x18, and with absolutely no knowledge of the characters, what we have is one person saying to another: "I love you". From this point on, every fibre of our being is aching for the answering "I love you, too". That's just how human beings are wired. That's just how narratives function. We hear a question and we need the closure of the answer.

When someone proposes publicly, even though these people are strangers to us, we are all waiting anxiously to hear the "yes". Imagine that you're watching a TV chat show, and then the host announces that someone in the audience has a very special question. Cut to the audience, where someone kneels and says to their partner: "will you marry me?" The camera moves to the partner's face ... and then cuts back to the action on stage. The proposal is never mentioned by the host ever again. You never find out if they said yes. Don't you feel cheated? Don't you feel, maybe, at least annoyed?

Now imagine you have two friends that you've known for years. You've grown up alongside them and you love them dearly. You think they're perfect for each other and you're sure they're in love with each other. One day, you see on Facebook that one of them has finally proposed to the other! You're overjoyed! But this is the last you ever hear from either of them. You never know the answer. You might feel just a little bit frustrated with the ghosting little fuckers. Yes, you can imagine that they're ridiculously in love and they've moved to Maui, but you never know. They might be dead in a ditch. They might be utterly miserable. You just never, ever know.

I swear, I'm normally all about the ambiguity, the open ending, the delicious possibilities of uncertainty. But here the question was too clear, the answer too obvious, the significance too weighty. The entire issue of Supernatural's problematic queer representation came down to this: could we see Dean say "I love you, too"? Could we see them live as well as speak their truth? Sadly, the answer was "no".

There could have been something powerful in the death of the author in Supernatural, in the exhortation to write your own ending, in the acknowledgement that meaning is created in active, creative collaboration between the text and the reader. But this wasn't handing over power. This was passing the buck. Representation is a responsibility.

In the end, Supernatural utterly dismissed the possibility of giving either the characters or the audience the power to write the story. We could have been gifted an open ending: Chuck defeated, Dean, Cas, Sam, Eileen and Jack alive and reunited, and the audience given free will to imagine their future. Instead, it gave us the most closed-down ending possible: all three main characters dead, other characters forgotten, and with nothing more to tell.

Going back to considering characters as friends made me think again about why the finale hurt so much. Yes, the erasure of Eileen from the narrative angered me because the decision was misogynistic and ablist. But also, I absolutely adored Eileen, and wanted her to be happy. She, like every single character in the show deserved better.

However, we don't only see characters as our friends.

We see pieces of ourselves in the characters we love. When we get to see those pieces acknowledged, and treasured, and loved, we feel validation. When we see those pieces disregarded, or silenced, or torn to shreds, we feel hurt.

Consider what someone might see of themselves in Dean Winchester: a queer individual, a war veteran, a survivor of physical, mental or sexual abuse, someone who has felt worthless or suicidal, a caregiver who has sacrificed their own needs for the sake of another.

What killing Dean says to these people is: there is no place for you in the world. The only 'peace' for you is death.

The same message can be read in Castiel's death. It's Castiel in whom I saw a piece of myself. I'm nearly 40, and when I started watching Supernatural in 2005, I didn't yet realise that I was maybe non-binary and definitely bisexual. The world looked at my body and assumed I was a woman. The world assumed I was straight. I was being told a story about myself. It wasn't until later that I realised that there were other stories, that there were other words that I could use about myself. Castiel's story was one that I could identify with (if I'm honest, mostly because of our shared social awkwardness), so his death said to me: if you speak your truth, you'll be shut down and forgotten. Happiness is not something you can have.

The deaths of Castiel and Dean find their bleakest mirror in that of the Kaia from the Bad Place. Not-Kaia wants to return to her own universe, even though she knows it is dying. She feels she doesn't belong in this world: "This place is cold. I don't understand it. I don't know how to move through it. So I just find empty spaces and I hide. This world doesn't want me, and I'm done with it." And, honestly, haven't most of us felt exactly like that at one time or another, for whatever reason? If we've felt different or excluded, if we've experienced physical or mental ill health, if we've felt like an outsider? Although Sam and Dean do try to get her to come back with them, she accepts death - just like Castiel and Dean. Visually, the moment closely resembles Castiel's demise: she's enveloped by blackness, her serene face the last thing to be covered.

Alternate Kaia is the embodiment of otherness. Her hopeless, voluntary annihilation is incredibly troubling. I wonder though if perhaps this moment is the text criticising itself: Alternate Kaia chooses death because the world is hostile towards her. If we marginalise others, if we tell people that who they are means that they have no place in the world, if we tell people that they can only exist in silence and in the shadows, then these people will feel despair. Depression and suicide are a real concequence of exclusion and marginalisation.

In contrast, we're shown Kaia being accepted by Jody. Castiel has already acknowledged that Jody is Claire's found family, and we know that Claire loves Kaia. Here is a hopeful mirror: Kaia, who has been set up previously as an analogue to Castiel, finds acceptance, and love, and a found family.

Dean and Castiel could have been given Claire and Kaia's ending, but instead they die like Alternate Kaia. The world doesn't want them.

I think that the erasure of difference is why the finale feels so flat to me. So empty, so hollow, so silent. The brothers' diverse found family is killed off or forgotten (like Kevin Tran, presumably left to wander the earth forever as a ghost); women are erased; people of colour are erased; queerness is erased. Sam and Dean are reduced to being cardboard cutout versions of themselves, devoid of complexity, with nothing to say.

For 15 years, Supernatural has said: choose free will.  You can make your own destiny.  You can write your own story.  Love can defy the will of God himself.  You can be loved and supported by a family that you choose, even if you are rejected by your blood.  In the final episode, every single one of these ideas was systematically trashed. It hurt.

What gives me hope, though, is how the fandom responded to this hurt: with creativity and kindness. Immediately, fundraisers such as The Castiel Project and Dean Winchester is Love were set up & have raised a massive amount of money. I don't think I'll ever stop being awed by this.

[ella-se-vuelve-loca]

Chapter 16

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

I was inspired by one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite novelas lmao “Lo Que La Vida Me Robó” (What Life Took From Me). I’m not used to writing angst, but I hope y’all like this chapter!

Previous Chapter

~~

Joel’s P.O.V.

Everything changed after that night at Christopher’s.

Days and weeks have passed and I haven’t heard a single word from her. I’m dying to just hear her voice, and not the same recording I get when she doesn’t answer my calls. I couldn’t bring myself to delete her number even though she wanted me to. I haven’t told anyone about what happened because I want to hold onto the hope that there’s still something I can do.

“Chicos! Remember to bring your passports in a few days. Puerto Rico is waiting for us to start off this tour.” Clara smiled as I had looked up from my phone. The tour is literally around the corner and I’m not sure I have enough time to be able to fix us before I leave. I’m leaving the two of us on a bad note if I don’t do something.

Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t want to see me either if I’m being honest…

Huh… honesty.

I should’ve been that in the very beginning to avoid this. Maybe it would’ve been different.

I’ve been in dance rehearsal all day and counted down the hours until I can go to her place to see her at least one last time. I have to try again before I leave because after today.. I’m not going to have any time. It’s just gonna to be “go – go – go” and getting ready to hop on that plane.

“Alright guys, that’s it for today. Go home and pack your bags, make sure you get everything and Zabdiel?” Clara spoke as he looked up at her. “Yeah?”

“Please don’t forget your passport again.” Zabdiel smiled and gave her a thumbs up. “I won’t. It’s already in my bag.” Everyone was grabbing their stuff and a water bottle on the way out while I walked towards the side of the room where the mirrors were. What am I gonna say to her? Will she even let me in?

“Hey, you comin’?” I heard a voice behind me say. I turned around and saw Erick holding the door open as he looked my way. “Yeah.. yeah I’m going.” I sighed and walked over to him. “Todo bien?” He asked as I nodded, walking towards the cars out in front. Before I head over to her place, there’s one thing I have to do first.

‘(Y/N)?’

I waited to see if she would respond back to me. Is this a mistake?

‘I thought I told you to delete my number?’

‘Oh my God, I was so afraid you wouldn’t answer me’

Read at 11:08 AM

‘(Y/N), please, can we talk?’

‘No, I told you I’m done’

‘Listen, I know I messed up, okay? You have every right to be upset at me and I am so sorry’

‘Okay’

‘Okay? Please give me a little more than okay, (Y/N)..’

‘What else do you expect me to say to you? Do you have any idea what it feels like loving someone who’s in a rush to throw you away?’

‘(Y/N) please, let me explain’

‘You have your life and I have mine. Two completely lifestyles that should’ve never combined’

‘Are you saying that we never should have met?’

‘I’m saying that we should maybe just move on and be with someone new. I’m officially setting you free, Joel. Go out there and explore, you don’t have me holding you back anymore’

‘No, don’t do this to me please. I need you, I want you. Give me another chance’

‘Consider this as me doing you a favor. I’m so sorry. Maybe if things were different, we could’ve been together’

‘Don’t you understand? You’re the one I want! Please, let me prove myself’

‘Goodbye, Joel’

‘(Y/N)! I’m so sorry!’

Read at 11:17 AM

‘I was such a dick to do this to you! Don’t shut me out! I promise I’ll make it up to you!’

Read at 11:20 AM

‘I never meant to hurt you or anyone’

Read at 11:22 AM

‘Don’t leave me. I love you, (Y/N)’

UNDELIVERED

‘(Y/N)…’

UNDELIVERED

~~

(Y/N)’s POV

It’s been about a week or two since cut all ties with Joel. I’m honestly so grateful for my best friends though. They’re doing whatever possible to help me feel better and tell me things like how we don’t need no man and shit. Girl power, am I right?

Still, I can’t quite shake the hurt I feel. I know Victoria still wants to see Christopher, but she’s afraid to go out with him simply for the fact that he’s one of Joel’s friends. I’ve reassured her though that I won’t take away her chance at love just because mine didn’t work out. If she ends up with one of his friends, that’s okay because she deserves to be happy too.

As much as I love them, they have their own lives to live and shouldn’t stop theirs just because mine turned to shit recently. I’ve been pretty hesitant to text Johann since that night, not quite sure how I felt about his offer. I sat on my couch as I looked at the TV, ‘Supernatural’ playing on the screen. “There’s no way in hell am I watching some sappy love story..” I said. Maybe ‘Team Free Will 2.0’ can help take my mind off of him. Sam and Dean Winchester, here I come!

I managed to watch almost 3 episodes before I realized that I wasn’t paying that much attention to the storyline. God, I must be out of it or something. What happens if I do take up on his offer? What good will that do? I don’t believe that Johann’s intentions were pure, but maybe can be a distraction, like he said. That’s the only reason why I’ve even considered it.

It hurt to block his number from my phone, but I just didn’t want to deal with anything anymore. I still love him… but he hurt me. Why couldn’t he have been honest with me? Why didn’t he just leave me be the night we met? Why did I even give him my number in the first place? Is this my fault too? If I didn’t give him my number, I wouldn’t be so heartbroken about him right now.

I felt myself wanting to just drift off to sleep before I heard my doorbell ringing. I stayed sitting down, hesitating because I wasn’t expecting anyone to come and visit me. Maybe they’ll go away?

Ding Dong

I guess not. Pausing my show, I stood up and walked towards my front door and opened it. “Listen, I’m sorry but I’m not interested in what you’re selling and – ”

“(Y/N)?” I looked up and saw… him. “Joel?” He bit his lip and cleared his throat. He held a bouquet of flowers in his hands and shifted from side to side. “Um.. hi..” I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against my doorframe. “What are you doing here?” I asked as he scratched the back oh his neck. “I just… I needed to talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t wanna talk to you. Goodbye.” I went to close the door, but he put his foot through and prevented me from shutting the door in his face. “Please, all I’m asking for is a few minutes of your time.” I scoffed and walked inside, him slowly following after me.

I had my back facing him and I closed my eyes, hoping I didn’t start crying with him just being here… with flowers… for me. “I uh got these for you..” He held up the bouquet as I turned around to grab them. “You told me once that these were your favorites and I – ” I took them from his hands and walked over to the trash bin, tossing them in without a care. “Thanks, but I don’t want your flowers.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Oh.. o – okay then..”

I heard him shuffling in the background as I thought about what I’ve wanted to say to him. “(Y/N)…” I heard his voice crack as I slowly turned to look at him, noticing that he was getting down on his knees, his eyes already starting to water. Honestly, this sight, is heartbreaking. “When this all started out, I will admit that my intentions were in the wrong place.” He spoke.

“I didn’t – I didn’t take into consideration about anyone else’s feelings but my own. It was selfish, cruel and I have nothing else to say but I’m sorry.” His hair was disheveled and in a complete mess, not styled like how it was before. “Perdóname por favor..” He sniffled as I sat down on the couch, him right in front of me. “¿Cómo puedes pedir perdón and expect things to go back to the way they were before?” I asked as I frowned at him.

“You used me to try and get with some girl you like… and said you’d drop me once you got what, or who, you actually wanted. You’ve had every opportunity to tell me or stop before it got more serious and you didn’t.” I looked down at my hands and held back the tears wanting to fall down my cheeks.

“I know, I know.. pero.. por favor. Vamos olvidamos el pasado. Let’s just start over and I promise I’ll – ” He grabbed onto my hands before I pulled them away from his grasp. “No, suéltame. No me toques..” He slowly pulled away leaned down, running his hand through his hair, clearing his throat.

“When you kissed me for the first time, you told me that you’ve been wanting to do that for a little while..” I looked down at him and gave him a sad smile. I thought back to that kiss. The way his lips were on mine and how he held me close to him. It was all a lie. Get that in your head, (Y/N). He never wanted you in the first place.

“I wonder if you felt relief when I dumped you, no longer needing me to help with your plan.” I saw his shoulders slump and that action only verified what I thought. It wasn’t real. We weren’t real.

“I thought that you were different. You told me that you were and I was stupid enough to actually believe you..” I looked at him and realized how close he was to me.

“Perdóname, estaba.. muy confundido. I thought Emilia was the one I wanted, but now I know she’s not. She only sees me as a friend and I should’ve left it alone at the very beginning. Like you said, things happen for a reason… I met you..” I could tell he wanted to hold onto me because of how much he kept running his hand through his hair. This is the first time we’ve seen each other in a few weeks and here we are, crying. “This has to be fate.”

“I want to believe you and be able to start over, but that will always be in the back of my head. Just questioning if I’m ever good enough for you and how there is always someone else that you wanted. I’m just your backup..”

“(Y/N), no I promise. I’m the one that fucked this up and it’s not you, I promise.” He sighed and gulped. “I’m.. I’m leaving in a few days. I’m going on tour with the boys and I won’t be back until towards the end of the year..”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked. “Because… I don’t want us to leave on a bad note. I’m telling you because, if there’s any hope for us – a slight chance that we can be fixed – I want you there at the airport. We can travel together, if you want. I know you said that you wanted to travel and all you have to do is be there and I’ll take you with me. If you ask me to stay, I will. Yes, I’ve fought for my place in the band, but I’ve found something more important… I found love..” I sighed and bit my lip, shaking my head. “I can’t make you that promise that I’m gonna be there.” I said.

“Please… I’m leaving in a week. I can take you to see places you’ve never been too and we can be together…” Seeing him hurts. It honestly fucking hurts. “I loved you, Joel, but my life is here. Being with you is going to be difficult and I’d have to change and revolve my life around yours..” I frowned. “Y ahora me pides que olvides todo eso and drop everything to go with you… no puedo.” I moved a strand of hair away from my face as I saw my vision become blurry.

“Qué.. qué puedo ser para mí perdonas?” He asked, looking straight at me waiting for an answer. I frowned and slowly shook my head.

“Nada..”

“(Y/N).. I… no, please. I promise I’ll be better than I was before. I’m being honest and I’ll – I’ll treat you like the queen you are. Please, don’t let me go. There has to be something I can do..” I stood up and grabbed onto his arms, hoisting him so we were almost chest to chest. “Por favor tú… tú vete.” I walked towards one of the windows in the room, facing my back towards him once more. “No te quiero ver, Joel.” My voice cracked. I could feel his gaze on me as I tried to be strong for the sake of my heart.

“Don’t make me say this again. I don’t want to be with… a man like you…” I cleared my throat and crossed my arms over my chest. “Lárgate.” After a few moments of silence, I heard his steps go further and further away from me as he opened the door. I wanted to so badly to just run up to him and feel his arms wrap themselves around me. I wanted to feel his kiss against my lips. I love him… I.. loved him..

He walked out and shut the door behind him, leaving me in silence. It was then when I finally allowed my tears to fall down my face and let myself cry.

It’s done. We’re officially done.

Next Chapter

~~

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