#it just hurts because what she did to me can't be undone and even though i tried during the last weeks to be normal when we interact

[sappho-favourite-pupil]

My ex is at it again

[hcneymooners]

⋆ beg until i'm in.

ambessa x wife!reader. men and minors dni.

synopsis: you and ambessa are estranged wives, but are you really estranged if she refuses to divorce you, and every time you see each other, you can't help but fall into bed?

cw: light angst, emotional hurt/comfort, getting back together, top ambessa medarda, dom/sub, dom ambessa medarda, she has soft spot for you, pleasure dom ambessaaaaa, just for you though, strapping, rough sex, rough body play, hair-pulling, name-calling, pet names, lesbian sex, dildos, vaginal sex, cunnilingus, overstimulation, she is strapping you down, you will not be walking, cock worship, blow jobs, the strap is the cock in question no men i swear to god, mommy kink, praise kink, mating press, age difference, older woman/younger woman, marriage, she does not play about you, realizing this might have slight primal play, orgasm edging, begging, spanking, impact play notes: i am a FREAK about this woman. also i wrote this for @sheloveschai because she has been bringing me joy through their work and i want to do the same.

“she thinks i’m a monster.”

the words hung in the air, dense as the afternoon heat, heavy as ambessa’s head in your lap. how you’d ended up here—her armor gone, her weight so familiar—felt like one of those moments you’d look back on, trying to pin down the thread that led you here. you couldn’t.

your lives were separate. estranged wives, that’s what you told yourself. she wouldn’t divorce you, and you weren’t exactly rushing to draw up the papers. but estrangement was such a tidy, convenient word like the absence between you both was clean and intentional. it wasn’t. she blurred the edges every time she showed up unannounced, stepping into the space she left behind like it still belonged to her. and maybe it did.

she came today, her arrival marked by the low hum of her car pulling up the dirt road. the ranch was still, caught in that honeyed pause between afternoon and evening. the house she’d bought for you sat perched on its patch of green, neat but unpretentious—a porch for watching storms, white siding that seemed to glow in the late sun. the kind of place that felt like it had existed long before you arrived, waiting for someone to live in it properly. around it, the land stretched wide, unbroken except for the fences hemming in the garden you’d built with your own hands.

you were out there, barefoot and stubborn, locked in a battle with the soil. a carrot clung to the earth like it had something to prove, your hair slipping from its tie as you yanked at it, dirt smudged across your face from an earlier showdown with a deer that had dared to challenge your lettuce. the dress you wore—white, soft, and loose—shifted around you like a second skin, its ruffled straps falling to kiss your shoulders. it was stained at the hem, caught on brambles, but it moved with you, romantic in its simplicity, something that could’ve been borrowed from another life.

ambessa watched from the car. you didn’t notice her at first, too busy flailing after some audacious bit of wildlife, but she noticed you. her eyes followed the sway of your dress, the way the sun painted gold onto your skin, how your body moved with a kind of rawness that had always undone her. she waited because ambessa always waited. but there was a tension to it, like watching something she didn’t want to admit she needed.

hours later, she was here, sprawled in your lap like it was the most natural thing in the world. her hand rested against the fabric of your dress, her breathing slow but uneven. you stroked her hair without thinking, staring out at the horizon. the horses were grazing, lazy against the emerald sprawl. the ranch, her gift, felt heavier than it had in a while.

“at one point in time,” you said finally, the words tasting of truth, “every daughter views her mother as her monster.”

her hand stilled. you could feel her thoughts shifting, coiling like a tide just out of reach. she didn’t say anything, but the silence was loud, charged. you didn’t press her.

“you were always so hard on yourself,” you continued, your voice quiet but steady. “you can be… strong, stubborn, cruel. i’ve felt it. i know it. so much of your decision-making is absolute like the world is this black-and-white chessboard you’re determined to win on. there’s no room for anyone else in that kind of thinking. it can be stifling. but—” you hesitated, fingers idly brushing the hem of your dress as you tried to hold her gaze.

“love is always the basis when it comes to the people you care about: mel, kino—”

“you,” she interjected softly, her voice barely audible but so certain it almost startled you.

you hummed in agreement, the corners of your mouth tugging into an easy smile.

“me,” you admitted, your chest tightening at the confession. you sighed, the sound carrying years of ache. “your problem is that you don’t believe we can love you back. not really. you think we can’t be safe with you. so you send us away, like that’s protecting us. you decide things for us—these big, sweeping decisions—and suddenly we’re standing outside looking in, strangers in our own lives with you.”

you paused, thinking of her daughter. “mel’s a teenager. she’s going to buck against you because that’s what teenagers do. you have to let her. you can’t control everything, ambessa. we don’t learn any other way.”

ambessa watched you, her face unreadable but her eyes dark and intent. her voice was indescribably tender when she spoke.

“you’re such a wonderful stepmother.”

the word made you scoff. you pushed her—gently but firmly—off your lap and rose to your feet. she let you, though her eyes lingered on you. she could never let go entirely.

“don’t let her hear you say that,” you muttered, shaking your head.

mel had not taken your marriage to her mother well. and really, who could blame her? you were more than half ambessa’s age. you’d once been mel’s peer at university, brushing shoulders in the same circles without a clue that your lives would one day intertwine like this. to make matters worse, mel hadn’t even learned of the relationship from her mother or you. no, she’d found out by walking in on the two of you in a position that still made your cheeks burn to think about.

what followed was relentless: the icy distance, the sharp words, the careful avoidance. love, for you, had always been hard, but this was a different kind of difficulty. you’d tried to explain yourself to mel, fumbling for words that didn’t sound hollow. you told her you loved her mother simply because you did. it wasn’t about their wealth or their influence. you’d come from nothing—a small town with a crumbling church, miles of barren land, and a quiet resignation to a life of struggle. you were used to living hard and mean, to fending for yourself.

but ambessa… she had swept into your life with the force of a storm. she needled at you, chipped away at your shell until you were belly-up and tender, soft between her teeth. you were an easy kill in her hunt, and she was ruthless, selfish, and she could be so fucking mean. but none of that mattered.

you loved her with the kind of blind devotion that defied reason, and you couldn’t imagine doing anything else. being her wife was your greatest pride, and tending to her was your guiltiest pleasure.

mel couldn’t understand that, and the rift between you grew wider with each passing day. then came the public’s growing animosity toward the medarda family, the rising tensions, and ambessa made one of her absolute decisions. the separation blindsided you. you’d cried so hard you blacked out in the hall, and when you woke, you left without looking back. you thought mel wouldn’t care.

which is why you were shocked when ambessa brought you mel’s request for your perspective.

you turned toward the stove, busying yourself with the rhythm of dinner prep. it was easier to focus on the small, manageable things—chopping vegetables, lighting the flame—than to meet her gaze.

“she doesn’t hate you, [name],” ambessa said suddenly, her voice calm but insistent.

you froze, the knife hovering mid-air before you carefully set it down and turned on the stove.

“you staying for dinner?” you asked carefully.

you heard her shift behind you, felt the warmth of her body as she closed the space between you. her arms circled your waist, firm but gentle, and you shivered, instinctively leaning into her. god knows you were never the strongest soldier. she pressed a kiss to your temple, her lips lingering just long enough to make you melt.

“i admit,” she murmured, her voice low and quiet, “i had other motives for coming here.”

“bessa,” you began.

ambessa held you tighter, her lips brushing against your temple, the warmth of her breath sending shivers down your spine. her silence stretched just long enough for you to grow uneasy, but then she spoke, her voice low and thick with emotion.

“they’ve been asking for you,” she said, her hands smoothing over your waist.

you stiffened slightly, unsure if you’d heard her correctly.

“who?”

“mel. kino.” she pressed another kiss to your temple, then let her forehead rest against the side of your head. “they’ve been pleading with me to bring you back. they won’t admit it outright—god forbid they ever say they were wrong—”

you shot her a look.

“—but they’ve missed you. and they hate the way i’ve been without you. they say i’m different when you’re there.”

your breath hitched, your chest tightening with a mix of disbelief and something dangerously close to hope.

“they don’t even like me,” you murmured, your voice cracking.

“that’s not true.” ambessa’s tone softened, her grip on you tightening like she was afraid you might slip away. “they’re too proud to say it, but they’ve developed a soft spot for you despite everything. they miss you as much as i do.”

you turned your head slightly, just enough to catch the edge of her expression—open, raw, and devastatingly honest. by instinct, you lifted a hand and cradled her face. you hated it when she was sad.

“oh, bessa.”

“i’ve realized,” she continued, her voice dropping to a near whisper, “that i am nothing without you. i thought i was protecting you by letting you go, but i was wrong. i’m tired, my love. tired of waking up alone. tired of pretending i don’t need you. i do. god, i do.”

you felt a weight lift from the depths of your body. you’d waited so long to hear this—to feel wanted, needed, like you weren’t just a fleeting chapter in her life. tears welled up, and before you could stop them, they spilled over, hot and fat.

ambessa turned you in her arms, her hands coming up to cup your face as you began to cry in earnest.

“oh, sweetheart,” she murmured, her thumbs brushing away your tears. “don’t cry. please don’t cry.”

“i don’t want to do this anymore,” you choked out between sobs, clutching at her arms like she was the only thing keeping you upright. you pressed down on the thick cords of muscle, pleading with the strength of your grip. “i don’t want the house or any of this shit. i’m so tired of taking care of myself, ambessa. i just want to come home.”

her expression crumpled, and for a moment, you saw a vulnerability in her that she rarely let show.

“i’m sorry,” she said, her voice tight. “i’m so sorry, my love. i never should have let you go. i’ll make it right—i swear to you. i’ll spoil you, take care of you, and keep you forever. you’re mine, [name], and i’ll never let you forget it again.”

you sobbed harder, your face burying into her chest as her arms enveloped you completely.

“i know, baby. you did so well. i’m so proud of you,” she murmured.

she continued to whisper soft reassurances, mantras of “sweetheart,” “my sweet girl,” and “my sweet baby,” until the tears slowed and your breathing evened out. you shuddered against her, refusing to remove yourself from where you were pressed tightly against her chest. she shifted, and you jolted—fingers splaying desperately across her body.

“shh. i’m just making us more comfortable,” she told you.

the two of you moved, a single weeping entity across the floor of the kitchen into the living room. ambessa settled you on the couch, continuing to trace a hand across the landscape of your back.

“come back with me,” she murmured, her lips brushing against your hair. “let me take care of you. let me love you the way you deserve, hmm?”

you nodded against her, your hands clutching at the fabric of her shirt like a lifeline.

“that's all i want. i never stopped loving you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

“i know,” she said, tilting your face up to hers.

the kiss she gave you was desperate and all-consuming, a culmination of every time you had woken and found yourself alone. her hands roamed over your hips and your waist, pulling you closer as if the space between you was unbearable. you gasped into her mouth, and she deepened the kiss.

“i’ve missed you,” she murmured against your lips, her voice low, rough with hunger. “did you miss me?”

you shivered, your body instinctively pressing into hers.

“yes. yes, i did. i swear, bessa,” you insisted, your voice trembling.

“shh, my love,” she said, her lips trailing down your jaw to your neck to soothe you. “i believe you. a sweet girl like you wouldn’t lie to me.”

with a groan, she lifted you, guiding you toward the bedroom, her hands never straying from your body, her kisses growing more frantic. when your back hit the bed, she hovered over you, her gaze dark, possessive. a hand came down to cup your cunt, firm and promising.

“yes or no?” she asked.

she only asked out of respect. ambessa had long ago perfected the art of taking what she wanted. you found you didn’t mind. it was easier this way, surrendering to her because she knew your body—your needs—better than you ever could. in her hands, the pressure of choice vanished. you trusted her to always know what was best.

suddenly, you were reminded of when she proposed. you felt the same now as you had then—wide-eyed, carnivorous. gently, you pulled her closer, brushing your lips against hers. the room smelled of apple blossoms and her intoxicating scent.

“yes,” you whispered, your voice barely a breath.

satisfied, she lowered her mouth back to your neck. at that moment, you could have mistaken her for a vampire—hunting for your pulse, for that line of forever-promised blood.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

“ambessa.”

“hmm?” she answered, her hand tightening where it reigned on the nape of your neck.

she had you face down with your ass up, her other hand holding you at the small of your back as she thrust into you. you let out a high moan as she began to move faster, her cock moving deeper as you bore down on her.

“you feel so fucking good, sweetheart. so tight and sweet for me. it’s almost as if you haven’t been touched in a long while.”

“bessa—” you choked out, and she let out a laugh.

“oh, baby. i know that’s not true.” bending forward to brace herself on the bed, she began to pump into you. “you were always so hungry for it, so eager. i know you’ve probably stuffed yourself every single night since i’ve been gone.”

you whimpered, drool beginning to spill from your lips.

“but it didn’t feel like this, did it?”

“no,” you answered, squealing as ambessa brought a hand down on your ass. “no, baby. i can’t take care of myself like you do.”

“no,” she agreed. “you can’t. you just get so stupid when you’re fucked. you have no chance of doing this alone. not well, at least.”

“bessa, please,” you mewled.

with a bored sigh, she tightened her grip around your band of hair and yanked your head back, pounding into you with predatorial precision. you moaned as she began to focus on your g-spot, pulling your head back roughly to further increase her control.

“shit, bessa. fuuuuuck.”

“yeah?”

all thoughts were being fucked out of your head. you managed to get a hand on your clit, rubbing furiously to add stimulation.

“uh, uh, uh. oh, fuck. holy shit. ambessa, fuck. please, baby. please don’t stop.”

for a moment, she paused, and you remembered how cruel she could be. tenderly, she turned you over on your back and slid back in, placing your hands on the back of your thighs so that you were holding yourself open. with a grunt, she sunk deep until her hips were once again clapping against your ass.

a strong hand came down, fingers hooking into your mouth and tugging till she could see your teeth. you felt like an animal.

“stop fucking talking,” she told you, and you nodded, spit slicking all over your mouth and her fingers. “good girl.”

the praise settled on you, and you moaned weakly. her next thrust hit you like a line of coke. she was pressing into you, working for something. you weren’t sure what, but you could feel the way she was aiming to break you in.

“come on,” she murmured, retracting her fingers to grope roughly at your tits. “say it.”

your brow furrowed, and she came to a slow, gradual stop. sliding out, ambessa crawled onto the bed and placed a hand on your chest. you watched her, eyes large and glittering with tears. her breasts hung heavy over you, ripe and full with age. you wanted to suck and bite her nipples till she was shaking on the bridge of your nose, pussy-deep into your throat.

carefully, she slipped the holster from her hips and removed the girthy dildo from where it sat, slick with your heat and arousal.

“maybe this will jog your memory,” she said, and you didn’t have a moment to think before her cock was in your mouth.

you choked loudly, but she paid you no mind. with a few circular motions of her wrist, she made you deepthroat every inch, her eyes darkening as you audibly gagged and sucked on it. you ran your tongue over the artificial veins, getting it as wet as possible.

you were tasting yourself, strawberry sweet with a hint of bitterness and slight musk. you could feel your cunt pulsing, fluttering as ambessa’s eyes grew darker. she prohibited you from letting your legs down, and your thighs were burning, sweat garnishing your skin with a light sheen.

you felt so exposed, so debased like this: holding yourself wide and open while gagging like a well-trained whore on the toy.

“remember now?” she asked, and you breathed hard through your nose.

you were trying, bless you, to remember, and she dropped a kiss on your cunt for the effort.

“look at this pussy, sweetheart. fuck, baby.” ambessa lifted from where she’d been dragging her free hand through your folds. her fingers were soaked. “you’re rinsing me.”

something about her tone jogged your memory, and suddenly, you knew what she wanted to hear. in your excitement, you whined, and she met your gaze. she considered you and then removed her cock from your mouth.

“mommy,” you breathed, and she smiled, her face warm and rivaling the sun.

“that’s it,” she said, pride drenching the words. “good job, sweet girl. you deserve a reward.”

you beamed and wiggled your pussy in silent demand. ambessa laughed at your eagerness, bending to kiss you. her lips trailed lower till she was mouthing over the sopping mound of your count. around and around, her tongue wet, her teeth softly grazing your clit. you snapped upward, letting go of your legs and clutching at her braids instead.

“goddamnit, ambessa! fuck!”

she continued to eat you out, shaking her head and sucking loudly. still, she found time to pinch the inside of your thigh in reprimand.

“that’s not my name, sweet girl. i won’t tell you again.”

“fuck. fuck, i’m sorry. i’m sorry, mommy. just—please.” your voice cleaved in the middle. “please, i need to cum. i want to cum so bad for you, mommy. let me. please just let me—”

with a wet pop, ambessa broke away from your swollen pussy and looked at you. you breathed heavily, eyes caught on the way she gazed at you from between your legs.

“nothing is stopping you, my love. do what pleases you.”

she lowered down again and spat right into your cunt. you let your head fall back.

“i told you,” she said. “i plan to spoil you. this will only be your first.”

and with that, she suctioned her mouth around your rosy pussy and sucked, pointing her tongue and slipping inside of you. you came with a high wail, legs clamping around her head as you bowed over her. you felt light-headed, slit open, and destroyed.

and true to her nature, ambessa never stopped.

© hcneymooners.

[losergender]

you know what's timebomb coded? the entire home video album by lucy dacus released in 2021. (s2 act 3 spoilers ahead)

"you used to be so sweet, now you're a firecracker on a crowded street" -> from powder being a major sweetheart to jinx being (lovingly and not so lovingly) a pain in the ass that annoys everyone (and also literally carrying explosives around) | "led me to the floor even though i'm not a dancer" -> literally them dancing in ep7 | "how did i believe i had a hold on you? you were always stronger than people suspected, underestimated and overprotected" -> GUYS THIS IS LITERALLY EKKO TALKING ABOUT POWDER ISTG !!! "a hidden gem, my own goldmine, you had the wide and wild eyes" -> jinx eyes changing color and all "NOW YOU'RE THE BIGGEST BRIGHTEST FLAME, YOU ARE A FIRE THAT CAN'T BE TAMED, YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVER, BUT I KNEW YOU WHEN IT'S BITTERSWEET TO SEE YOU AGAIN" -> GUYS IS THIS NOT EXACTLY EKKO'S FEELINGS ABOUT JINX COME ON GUYS

the entire "first time" is peak "can we pretend like it's the first time?" | "YOU CAN'T FEEL IT FOR THE FIRST TIME A SECOND TIME" , "and how will i know if history repeats itself? how will I know when it's gonna come back around? how will i know? has my face changed, baby? how will I know?" this ekko after breaking free from the perfect dimension guys ,,, guys..

cartwheel guys. cartwheel. "FIREFLY juice on your skin / you're glowing like an ATOM BOMB" it's them it's them it's so them | "this natural thing that you've undone / outgrew older sister's clothes again / won't admit you're growing tall and thin" ekko watching her turn from powder to jinx from afar,,, | "i thought back to many years ago: a late-night promise on the telephone, we'd build a house of twigs and vines, grow old together just to pass the time // now there's only past and present day, i can't believe a word you say" EKKO WATCHING HER TURN EVIL FROM AFAR GUYS !!! WHILE STILL KEEPING FEELINGS !!!

thumbs it's ekko thinking about what silco has done to her. "i would kill him if you let me, i would kill him quick and easy, your nails are digging into my knee, i don't know how you keep smiling" / "you've been in his fist ever since you were a kid, but you don't owe him shit even if he said you did"

please stay. please stay is literally canon because he literally had to stop her from killing herself a good 5 times. "change your name, change your mind, change your ways, give them time [...] call me if you need a friend or never talk to me again, but please stay" like pleaseeee

and triple dog dare,,, "you're dancing in the aisle 'cause the radio Is singing you a song you know and the kid at the counter is gawking at your grace / i can tell what he's thinking by the look on his face, it's not his fault, I'm sure i look the same / it's what you do, but it's not you i blame" EP 7 TIMEBOMB GUYS | "you know i'll be seeking if you run and hide, if the door were to open, would you walk through the frame? if you're too afraid, it won't be you i blame" that's ekko trying to save her at some point | "i want you to tell me that you miss me, want you to hold and hurt and kiss me [...] it's a triple dog dare, you're a chicken if you don't" -> no explanation needed. | "i can fish for our food and you know how to start a flame, if you don't get out now, you'll only have yourself to blame" this is what he sounded like when he tried to save her from silco (bc i know he tried guys) "You said 'you have me there, if it's a triple dog dare'" bc tell me she is not the kind of person to do anything if it's a challenge. | "they put our faces on the milk jugs, missing children 'til they gave up [...] can't find the feeling of relief, nothing worse could happen now" -> ekko literally putting her face on the missing/dead poster, ekko disappearing in s2, jinx fleeing (she did not die guys trust me),,,

[starsreminisce]

Some e/riels really want to make Elain the mean girl that they are

Well, here goes nothing...

Let's get one thing straight: Elain isn't going to march up to Gwyn and start a hair-pulling, milkshake-throwing, passive-aggressive showdown. Gwyn hasn't done anything to deserve that treatment. She can't help it if both Az and Nesta treat her differently from Elain. Elain's issue isn't with Gwyn. It's with Nesta. And now, we're seeing Elain push back against Nesta's overprotectiveness, especially when she volunteered to search for the trove.

Some fans seem to want Elain to become this vengeful, "mean girl" character, shedding her good-girl image to match Azriel's demeanor. But Elain's version of "mean" could cut Azriel to the core.

There's a kind of meanness that comes with laying bare someone's flaws—not to hurt, but to finally express what's been bottled up for too long. There's a meanness in honesty, too. Sometimes, you have to draw the line and speak your truth, even if it stings.

People don't suddenly grow claws. They've always been there, waiting to be wielded when necessary. And in SF, it looks like Elain's reached that point, where others are deciding her truth for her.

Sure, some fans are hoping for a Villain Elain, but it's ironic how we're demonized for standing up for ourselves or wanting to take up space. I think Elain's journey will be more about asserting herself and saying, "I need you to hear me."

But Nesta cut her off, seething at the pity about to be thrown her way. “Look who decided to grow claws after all,” she crooned. “Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.” Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike. Elain’s eyes brightened with pain. Something imploded in Nesta’s chest at that expression. She opened her mouth, as if it could somehow be undone. But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And itcaptured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” Nesta blinked, everything inside her hollowing out.

Azriel struggles with criticism—we've seen it time and time again. That's why I doubt Az and Elain could work out. Elain is starting to call people out, and Az tends to freeze up when confronted. If Elain were to challenge Azriel over his objections to her searching for the trove, would it lead to a productive conversation? Their conversations could easily turn icy, as we've seen with Feyre's orders to him as his High Lady.

But there's someone who handles criticism well—or at least, better than Az.

My nails dug into my palms hard enough to hurt, but I remained seated on the bedroll as I bared my teeth at him. “And that’s why you’re here. Not because it’s right and he’s always been wrong, but just so you can get what you think you’re owed.” “She is my mate and in my enemy’s hands—” “I’ve made no secret from the start that Elain is safe and cared for.” “And I’m supposed to believe you.” “Yes,” I hissed. “You are. Because if I believed for one moment that my sisters were in danger, no High Lord or king would have kept me from going to save them.” He just shook his head, the candlelight dancing over his hair. “You have the gall to question my priorities regarding Elain—yet what was your motive where I was concerned? Did you plan to spare me from your path of destruction because of any genuine friendship, or simply for fear of what it might do to her?” I didn’t answer. “Well? What was your grand plan for me before Ianthe interfered?”

Lucien faced Feyre's accusations head-on when they clashed over priorities. He didn't deflect; he engaged. He was ready to hash it out, even when Feyre wasn't. Lucien could have abandoned her, returned to Tamlin, but he stayed. There was no bargain between them, so he had a choice—and he chose to stand by her.

I'm eager to see a showdown between Elain and Lucien about their bond. How will Lucien react when Elain claims he's entitled to her? And how will Elain respond when Lucien says he's done all he can to stay out of her life?

It promises to be a cathartic conversation, especially now that Elain's been rejected twice—presumably because of their bond.

[fanficfanatic000]

bad habit love

Bad habit love Eddie Munson x best friend fem reader

Based of song

18+

You and eddie have been best friends for years you've always loved him and he always loved you but neither of you knew And you both go to high-school and prom is coming up.

"Princess?!" The messy haired metal head said while waving his ringed hand back and forth in front of your face "What? Edds" You said "well love we were in the middle of a conversation then you dozed off" "oh. Sorry eddie what were we talking about?" He chuckles to himself "i said are you coming to dnd tonight?" You shake your head no "sorry eds i got some homework thats due" you grabbed your books from your locker and walked away. Eddie follows you "no problem ill see ya afterwards though? Cause i found a new horror movie we could watch" he smirks "Yeah sounds good at your place " you wink at him "okay ill be of hellfire at 5 so just wait for me " he says running off He's always had a charm about him . He goes to hellfire club but then Mike brought in your replacement for the night Chrissy cunningham she liked eddie so of course she flirted with him he was skeptical at first because of his feelings for you but he knew you don't like him that way so he asked her to prom afterwards. . It's 5:10 and no eddie to be found You sighed "nerd club probably is just lasting longer then usually" Robin said to you. "Yeah probably… go ahead eddie will be out eventually" 5:40 you go back in the school and you see eddie and chrissy talking in the halls he looks to almost be out but you can't help but get upset. Jealous. Hurt. Sad. So you just decided to walk home. Well run home Eddie walks out of the school wondering where the hell you are then he checked the time 6:00 "fuck munson get it together" she probably got a ride home from Robin.. he thought to himself… he gets in his van and drives down the road then he saw you walking on the sidewalk to your house he pulls over and got out "Princess?" He says walking up to you "Eddie?" "Princess why are you walking home this late alone?" "Well umm….. i just decided to" "Why?….." he looks at you concerned "Well you were late and i didn't want it to get any darker so i just walked." "Im sorry my sweetheart. Do you still want to watch the movie or?" "Eddie im tired take me home" you kinda snapped at him But you were trying not to cry infront of him and just seeing him makes you want to cry.

The next day: You wake up and put on your ripped black jeans with a hellfire t shirt that you ripped into a tank top and put on your eyeliner and waited for eddie to pick you up 5 minutes later he pulled up "looking good Princess" he winks. But you rolled your eyes and couldn't help but smirk a little Last night you just accepted the fact that of course eddie would want the cheerleader not some nerdy girl he is friends with. Silence the whole ride to school He got out and opened your door "so you going to steves party tonight?" "I thought i might.. robin wanted me to" "Well now that you're going i will be there .ill give you the ride" "Yeah but first you'd have to take me to my house to get ready beforehand" "alright"

After school eddie is waiting for you to co.e out of your house Then you did wearing a pretty little black dress with layered necklaces and combat boots "R-ready gorgeous?" "Yep" eddie is wearing a black button up with the top button undone. Damn he's so sexy without even trying

At the party: Outside at the pool side This fucking asshole has been chatting about something stupid for hours and eddie is chatting with chrissy and you've had a couple beers And you got hit by a heat wave you grab the asshole infront of you Jason carver and you throw you and him in the pool Eddie sees as you come up his hands all over your soaked body the dress clinging to you and the dress lid down just enough to reveal the color of your red bra Jason picked you up and puts you on the ledge of the pool and trys to slide your dress farther down until eddie picked you up like a bride and carried you to his van "fucking asshole" he mumbles he puts you in the passenger side and got in the driver seat "fuck Princess what has gotten into you. Youve been distant and You got drunk and started to come on to jason come on you know someone like his is gonna take advantage of you when you're like that" "like what eddie?!" "Well when you get drunk you kinda get……….horney…..and usually you come at me with it not some stupid asshole Cause i know you.. you dont mean it so im okay with it but not when you go to someone else" "not like it matters eddie you dont care " "i do care because i dont want someone to hurt you you're my best friend…" "yeah well you were distracted with chrissy so i didnt come to you " You thought about telling eddie. He already hurt you so no more damage can be done at this point He took you to his trailer so he could take care of you. He picks you up and carries you in. Of course wayne works at night so that wouldn't be a problem. Eddie set you on his bed and tossed you a shirt one of his then he turned around as you took that dress off and put the shirt on. And it hit you eddie probably will do this with chrissy. Will probably put his hands on her and then tears start running down your face… Eddie turns around. "S-sweetheart why…. are you crying….?" You smile "i-i im not its fine…." "Princess..? What's wrong?" He sits next to you not knowing he's the one making you cry "eddie i think im just tired" he knew you weren't just tired you lied he thought Jason carver what did you do to her You and eddie just lay next to eachother for the hundredth time of course because of you and eddies late movie nights

Day of prom: You wake up remembering everything of course eddies not next to you but then you hear a girl voice coming from his living room then you hear him "well i'll see ya at prom bye chrissy" "then you needed to escape so like any normal person you put your boots on and climbed out his bedroom window and walked your ass home still in Eddie's shirt. "Fuck" you whispered looking in your bedroom mirror You hear ringing and you awnser "y/n you going to prom its robin ya know your other best friend " "fuck i dont have a dress that isnt at eddies house" "okay well take a shower ill be there to go dress shopping" . After dress shopping: you bought yourself a nice red dress sure to wow everyone not just eddie…red his favorite color… but also yours.. you did your makeup and you were ready . Prom: robin and her girlfriend gave you a ride then ran off and disappeared… and you were alone. No date. No friend even then eddie walked through the door he had a black suit with a blood red tie just as you imagined and his arm around chrissy she's wearing a short blue dress she's stunning and it killed you cause you know what happens prom night…. you walk to the one person you know has forbidden alcohol Gareth eddies band dnd friend you never really talked but you and him had a type of brother sister complex "i need the strong stuff " you say handing him a 10 dollar bill "Fine ill let you have a discount this time" He usually charged 20 dollars but this time you got lucky. You fucking chugged the small bottle of alcohol tiny enough to fit in your purse. Then eddie saw you as he was walking to the punch with 2 red solo cups "Sweetheart what the hell happened youve been weird lately like avoiding me and shit " "eddie im fine you probably need the free time " then Jason walked through the door and eddie still thought he might of did something to you so he rushed him grabbing the collar of Jason carvers shirt " what did you do to her?!" "Look freak i didnt do anything to your girlfriend." "Shes not my girlfriend shes my friend now what did you do" chrissy watching looks horrified "EDDIE jason did nothing to me i promise" eddie looks at you and then let go of jason "then what… what is it?" "Eddie j-just enjoy your prom im fine…" your voice broke as you started to cry and ran away out the school doors You walked outside and just sat on the sidewalk and cried "Sweetheart? Please tell me whats wrong " he tilts your head to look in his eyes as he is seated next to you. His eyes were dark and worried "look eddie i have had feelings for you this whole fucking time.. i know you dont feel that way about me but ive always been fucking stupid… i kinda thought maybe you'd ask me to prom but you asked chrissy cunningham the pretty cheerleader… i-i cant blame you im just a nerdy girl you hang out with cause you're bored…." He looks at you his eyes looking at you intensely "Princess i didnt know you felt like this Why The hell would you!? Your beautiful, smart, funny, and hot as hell why would you want the freak? I-i didnt know you were an option" "an option?" You look at him annoyed "no i mean i didnt know i could be with you if it did i-i" he grabbed your waist and leaned you down and climbed on top of you " i would have done this sooner" he kissed you softly but needy And you kissed him back "Princess i love you" his metal rings on your coverd waist made you feel warm and fuzzy "Eddie!" You squealed as he took you to his van in a swift movement and he hopped in passenger and put you on his lap "I wish I knew you wanted me. my girlfriend ?" "Yes eddie im yours all yours"

@avintagepumpkin

[askmemenoquestions]

Slay the Princess Starter Sentences

*Contains spoilers

"You have a job to do here. Just get in there and do what needs to be done."

"While I appreciate the mental exercise, we are running up against a bit of a ticking clock."

"It's no use arguing semantics over a metaphorical chicken-or-egg, because the egg is hatched and it's about to ruin everything."

"If anything, slaying a princess is better than slaying a seamstress. Seamstresses contribute something of value to society."

"You're playing a dangerous game by coming here unarmed."

"We could have gotten out of here together. Were you just lying to me this whole time?"

"If I have to kill you, I'll kill you. Do you think I need both of my arms to do that?"

"This vessel is full of you. I need something empty I can crawl inside of. I need something shaped like me."

"This world is broken beyond repair. We must weave something new."

"Do you want to linger here, entwined with a creature you taught to hate you forever? Eternity never ends."

"You shouldn't have let that fear creep into your heart. You had the upper hand, and now look at you."

"Don't think that just because I'm the one in chains it means you have a right to interrogate me."

"You poor thing. I'll go ahead and put you out of your misery."

"This was fun. You put up more of a fight than I thought you would."

"You have made a decision. It is the wrong one. I love you."

"Please, shake yourself out of it. We have to get out of here."

"No... this is the beginning of eternity. Your reward."

"And then you locked us away in an empty void for eternity."

"Like I've been saying. She's dead. We killed her already."

"Why are you even here? Just making sure you finished the job or what?"

"I was willing to ignore everything you did to me so we could get out of here. Together."

"But I guess violence is the only language you speak."

"On second thought, let's not kill him. Let's throw him someplace that never ends. I'd like to see what that does to him."

"You are familiar, but you are not me. I feel sadness, longing, hope as I witness you."

"I'm sorry. There are some changes that can never be undone, there are some tears that can never be unshed."

"I have not lived. I am not afraid to die."

"If you need time, then I'll wait with you."

"What textures will you weave for yourself to occupy forever? Will you place 'You' and 'I' into a box for safekeeping?"

"I will be here waiting by your side until you're ready to return to mine."

"She asks that I tell you to remember her. You won't."

"You've made a terrible enemy, and there's nothing in the world that can possibly save you from me."

"After all this time alone, I thought I'd finally found a friend. But you were just another monster, weren't you?"

"I know who you are, and I remember what you've done."

"We don't have to make things better. We can't make things better."

"We're just meant to chase each other in the dark until one of us catches the other."

"I'm glad to die horribly if it means you die with me. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"The thing that sits beyond our edge speaks his logic into us. He tries to grasp at things that cannot be grasped."

"It was a fitting end. I'm sorry if it hurt. But doesn't this make it all seem so small?"

"Whenever you are ready, I will wipe your slate clean once again."

"Words are... difficult for me. They never fully weave what I wish to say."

"There is nowhere for you to be but here."

"You have already committed to my completion. You cannot go further astray."

"What you're seeing here is obviously real. Just accept it and go with the flow."

"You are like me, even if you have chosen not to look at the corners of you that do not fit, even if you have chosen to ignore the brilliant contours of your soul."

"The desires of my multitudes thrive in endless competition with themselves, but none of them rise above their dance to influence me."

"You've brought that knife again, even though you know it's useless. Such charming audacity."

"Oh? Are you still trying to defy me? I. Said. Kneel."

"What a pitiful display. A wounded little bird thinking it can defy a god."

"Was severing the tendons of my ascension not enough for you? Was it not enough to rend my divine heart?"

"I hope you weren't planning on dying. We're going to make this last forever."

"These gifts are a conversation, and each one shows me the contours of your heart."

"I'm going to have fun breaking you into little pieces."

"You and I are always going to end in violence, so why bother to run?"

"I never wanted to fight you. So how do we leave?"

[ryan-the-dark]

Tobey's angst attracts me, and I enjoy it even more when Becky is not the only one who comforts him (STILL TOBECKY FOR LIFE). Let the kid has other friends.

So yeah, this is based off this one scene with them in the background and wanting a fluffy scene with them for some reason because of headcanons and need for platonic relationships between men and women. Men and women can hug without any romantic feelings.

This is how it feels like being Theodore McCallister the Third.

You know that you do wrong. You hate what you do deep down. You hate that you just can't fit in.

You want to be friends with Becky Botsford. You want to be friends with people, but your ego, your insecurities, get in the way every time.

You want to be friends with everyone, but you just can't control yourself. You can't control how you are as a person.

You try your hardest.

You try so much.

At Katy's birthday party, that is when the cracks begin to show. When you broke that girl down to tears. She's friendly to you now, but you can't tell why.

It has been reinforced when you realize how untrustworthy you are as a person. When the librarian herself didn't believe you when you claim you didn't lose a book. It hurts. It all hurts so bad. At the time, you give off the impression of being unmoved and collected, but now...

Now, when reflecting among those events, you realize how right Becky was. Night after night, you feel the events of everything catching up with you. You garnered distrust from people with your actions.

Victoria Best? You relate to her so much because her parents are like how your friend was. He was worse. He viewed you as garbage, as a mistake. He called you that once. Ripped you away from the childish innocence of the world and brought down to face reality.

'You were a mistake. You were never meant to be born. You are trash.'

Your mother pull you away and went on a tangent on him. That has been the last time you saw him.

No one cares about you.

And you haven't helped it.

You... are dark.

Too dark.

That is why your father left you.

You and your mother.

Your mother will leave you eventually. You know she tries. She always tried to force you into clubs and meet people, but you throw that in her face. You hate that too.

Middle school...

Well, things are softening up... somewhat.

But you feel it.

The cracks... even more...

How did you ever end up with Rose and Victoria as friends? That is a question that you still ask. Will you lose them as well?

Surprisingly, you agree with spending time with them because it's easier. Rose's compassion and Victoria's joking nature makes it easier. Everyone else laughs at you. Everyone else treats you wrong. Not those two, surprisingly. Becky kind of warm up to you, but you know you started it all. Even if Becky and WordGirl are one of the same, that makes it worse.

You know your actions have been unforgivable. Trapping a living and breathing individual into a robot and forcing her to do horrible things. Threaten to destroy another's house two times. Cheat on a stupid election that ruined another event for her even though neither of you were selected.

One day, it comes undone.

One day, you can't hold back anymore.

People hate you. All of them. You realize it in Art class where you have to break off into groups. Where even people will work with comic book nerds than you. When you trips over a banana pill into a locker and everyone laughs. It stings.

You just... it never bothers you before. But why did it now? When Rose and Victoria push through the crowd, the latter grabbing her flute, a nonverbal threat to use it, when the former picks you up and leads you away from the laughs, from them all.

It has been the end of the day so you are led out. You fall against a nearby tree, as if bricks have unleashed on you, as if stress of it all, the hurtful words, the laughs, the mocks, all of them. Something wet is in your eyes, and you hate it because you are Theodore McCallister The Third. Crying is a weakness.

And of course they notice. They are your only friends. Becky is a frienemy if anything else. While she isn't exactly mean to you, there seems to be an even bigger wall thrown up. She doesn't joke nearly as much as she used to. You know you deserve contempt, that you aren't a victim, but still...

Will you do the same with Rose and Victoria because you're chasing dreams? You realize you need them. You need their friendship. You need Rose's chipper attitude and Victoria's competitive nature. Humans need other humans a lot of times, and you are just another among the spectrum.

But if you hurt them, if you mess everything up like you possibly did with Becky, with WordGirl, if you continue throwing fits, you can lose them too. And you don't want to lose them.

"Tobey, what's wrong?" the former asks while the latter appears concern, even though she wouldn't admit it.

"Why are you here?" You ask. "Everyone hates me." You whimper, but at that moment you couldn't care because it's been all painful and agonizing. You know that you'll push them away... eventually with your own actions.

Both look shocked. Even Victoria. The girl has never been a supervillain. At least not to the core. Just crappy parents. He knows that.

"We don't hate you," Rose speaks softly, and damn it all she knows exactly what to say. She calls you out when necessary but she knows how to be convincing. "You're a good person, Tobey. You deserve friends and support. Don't listen to those jerks."

"I don't know," you grumble. You aren't usually so emotional because crying wastes water, and no one in this city cares about a few waste soil. No one in the world as well. "I push everyone away."

"That's obviously not the case. Don't let them get to you." She pushed. "True friends wouldn't abandon someone for some imperfections. You aren't perfect, but nobody is."

You sigh. "I wish I can be better."

"You have to get there first. You are growing. Things are changing. Everyone changes with time. Just make the choice to change." he responds.

"You're alright. You're going to be okay." she pushes.

Victoria's snide nature falls away. Well, with a twist. "Yeah, I mean you're not the best like me, but you're still good enough to be around."

You snort. "Geez, thanks."

Rose rolls her eyes while Victoria looks entirely casual. "But yeah, we don't hate you, Tobey, we never will. I promise."

You straighten because you have already lost so much, and you wouldn't lose them no matter what. You care about them. Sisters you never had type of manners. Rose's capabilities in seeing through imperfections and Victoria's own struggles which matches your own.

You grip Rose's hand, and is surprised when Victoria's own grip your shoulder. And they pull you into a hug and you accept after the initial shock wears off. A hug that promise to be there for everything. A hug that promises unity and companionship. You haven't hugged other people besides your mother a few times, and creeping on WordGirl that one Valentine.

And you realize that having a few friends is alright.

Maybe...

Maybe this can be the new normal.

[pubbee]

i can't remember if you've ever said anything about it before but as the resident Ronin Enjoyer do you have any thoughts on some of the more irredeemable or straight up bad parts of his writing (i.e. what he did to zane in skybound and possibly ToE? but mainly the one thing with nya. like i'm not gonna fault anyone for not liking him but i personally feel like that never should've been written in in the first place and it sucks seeing people act like liking him is a sin. you know :/)

Ronin my guy my scrungle he is not the best man but also he suffers from bad writing lol. The Nya thing.... As much as I personally prefer to pretend it didn't happen because it feels like in the early days of Ninjago the writers consistently kept forgetting that she's supposed to be a minor (SKYBOUND) as well as making her face the occasional casual sexual harassment/assault (evil Jay forcefully kissing her), this is actually consistent with Ronin's character because:

Yeah.

Granted, the reason I prefer to ignore this aspect of him is because it's just plain stupid and he gets no real backlash from it in canon. And with Misako it's very much out of nowhere and Ronin doesn't even seem like he's interested. He erased her memories to pit her against the ninja and nothing else, but for some reason it was decided she should be putting her hands all over him like that 💀 However, I don't blame people for looking at this and deciding he's unlikable for it.

With the Zane stuff, I look at him taking Zane and Pixal to Chen's as something he had no other choice to do. It's kinda confirmed in the book Way of the Departed that it's the case (though my own reasoning is a bit different compared to the book), but at the same time, this was during a time he was a bit more eviler lol. So if he did this with evil intent then well he's grown since then at least.

As for what he did to Zane in Skybound, tbh fucked up and I'm glad it was technically undone. But Zane and Pixal were also kinda treated like objects that season in general too. The way Zane treated Pixal, the general existence and then complete dismissal of Echo, and whole thing with the Mechanic.... not great.

For me, personally I see Ronin as a tech lover who loves R.E.X so much he considers it a person, and by extension would respect Zane and Pixal in that regard, especially after befriending them but that's just me 🤷

But tbh there is something Ronin has done that is far more heinous than being robophobic and a creep, and that's what he did to the Islanders. I do not like season and what it did to him. Of all the people he goes and robs, it's the isolated people no one knows exists lmao. He doesn't just take their money, he takes their food, and takes so much they resort to human sacrifice. Like what the fuck. This felt more like something maybe SoR Ronin would do. And he was treated more like a common villain with no real history with the ninja at the end, too.

I don't wanna fully say it's out of character for Ronin to rob an entire island of people though, because I do feel like if desperate enough, he would go back to how he was before. I don't think he's above betraying the ninja, or hurting innocents because we've been shown he's afraid of dying (or at least going to super hell lmao) and is overall untrustworthy. But the thing is, he was fine! He had a deal with the Commissioner and was doing fine! Why make him do this, and then arrest him with the very people he used and put back in prison himself and then have him be just.... totally fine and friends with everyone again, prisoners and ninja alike lmao. It's bad writing to me. And after his development and and his relationship with the ninja, it seems very ill fitting to have him be the one lead the prisoners on the island when the Mechanic and/or Ultra Violet are right there.

So yeah I mean, if people don't like him I get it. At face value he is not a great guy lol. But for me there's a lot to like about him just because I really like his type of character when done well. He was a great influence for Nya and I love their relationship. He just suffers from poor writing just like.... every other character in this show 💀

And people better not be harassing or hating on others for liking a goddamn LEGO of all things. Please there are real problems to have. I'll continue loving Ronin regardless if others consider it a crime to lol I'm a grown bitch and can do whatever I want ❤️

[apirateslifefor--smee]

support women's wrongs: a majke de spell playlist ( @majkemaniiia )

prairie girl by rah rah

i did something bad by taylor swift

bring me to life by evanescence

pierre by ryn weaver

nothing matters by the last dinner party

free by florence and the machine

you know i'm no good by amy winehouse

hounds of love by kate bush

still sane by lorde

run by daughter

prairie girl by rah rah

I am a prairie girl Straight to the bone I'll cut you off on the drive back home I spend my winters alone Yeah there's just no place quite like home

I feel like this song is so underrated lol I used to LOVE it in high school. This song is about being a #tough girl but also maybe you fall in love a little bit but NO YOU DON'T you get the hell out of there before you can get hurt. And it just felt like a good place to start for Magica who is very self-sufficient and independent but I also think somewhere deep down she is kind of lonely... but anyway it's fine she's a prairie girl!!

2. i did something bad by taylor swift

They say I did something bad Then why's it feel so good? They say I did something bad But why's it feel so good? Most fun I ever had And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could It just felt so good, good

Sorry sorry one thing about me is I'll sneak tswizzle onto these playlists. Obviously this song is about a lot of different things and not necessarily about summoning demons but like lowkey it could be. Magica is kind of the weird one in her family for being into shadow magic and I just think she'd be like ok u say i did something bad... but WHY'S IT FEEL SO GOOD!!!!

3. bring me to life by evanescence

Wake me up inside (save me) Call my name and save me from the dark (wake me up) Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) Before I come undone (save me) Save me from the nothing I've become

Stay with me here lol. This is less about the lyrics and more about the VIBE. Like if there was ever a song to summon demons to it'd be this song. You know what I mean? I really don't think that's what this song is about but I just had to put it here for the vibes.

4. pierre by ryn weaver

And I fell for a vagabond, a month at tops Lied and said his bike was in the motor shop Drove my car once and made the tire pop Still we had some fun, till I came to 'Cause I wouldn't be with you

This song is about hooking up with a bunch of guys who are probably con artists/grifters/liars because you're running from your feelings about someone. And idk if that's true for Magica but I DO think she is like simultaneously really savvy but also drawn to liars at the same time. Maybe because she is a powerful lady and can handle herself so she might as well have a little fun. Also I just think this song is whimsical and witchy idk you get the vibe.

5. nothing matters by the last dinner party

I put my heart inside your palms My home in your arms Now we know nothing matters Nothing matters

I also kind of put this song here more for the vibes than the lyrics because it sounds kind of witchy and whimsical but I also think it goes with the theme of Magica's hot girl energy. She's here to fuck around and get what she wants and as I said she can handle herself etc so if ppl try to use her she will also use them!

6. free by florence and the machine

I'm always running from something I push it back, but it keeps on coming And being clever never got me very far

Once again the theme of running from something! Magica is always on the run but I think she also knows herself really well and knows what she needs to feel #free. Whether that's dancing or magic or something else. Also once again we are here for vibes. Florence is always a witchy vibe.

7. you know i'm no good by amy winehouse

I cheated myself Like I knew I would I told you I was trouble You know that I'm no good

To me this song is about thinking you're the bad guy and then finding out actually the person you're with is also the bad guy and still managed to hurt u even though u thought u were immune to that! And I think it gets at Magica's vulnerability despite this powerful witch exterior she has.

8. hounds of love by kate bush

Among the hounds of love And feel your arms surround me I've always been a coward And never know what's good for me Oh, here I go, don't let me go

I am obsessed with this song lately?? I wanted to give Magica one love song bc I think she should get one <3 This song is about feelings coming for u like a pack of hounds and you're like you know what let's just give into it! And I know this is not Magica's usual vibe but once in a while we see her soft side and I love that <3

9. still sane by lorde

Only bad people live to see Their likeness set in stone What does that make me?

I loveeee this song. It's so creepy and evocative. I think this song could be about the consequences of making yourself very powerful and like dealing with the fallout of that. What happens when Magica faces what she's done?? Will she ever?? Much to consider...

10. run by daughter

I don't know what we're doing I don't know what we've done But the fire is coming So I think we should run

Returning to our run theme! I don't know what the speaker in this song has done to make them have to run, but Magica is always careful not to have anyone look too closely at what's going on with her demon niece! And again I thought this song had a very creepy/witchy vibe so it seemed like a good place to end.

[princessaurorasdiary]

Diary 3/1: Kissing a girl for the first time

I kissed her then ran away, or at least as much as one can without leaving the car we were in. It took more than 2 hours of holding her hand and trying to find the right moment, even though she's expecting it, and waiting for me. Maybe half an hour in I tried to kiss her, cupped my hand on her face and got so nervous I jumped away and hid under my jacket like a security blanket.

It was both easier to try and kiss her because I know she was waiting, and harder, she told me she would be, I told her before I was nervous and that last time we talked in her car for 3 hours I spent the whole time wanting to hold her hand

So this time I held her hand as soon as we were settled into our parking spot, with my very large Dr pepper, I barely drank any of it since my throat hurts still getting over a 24 hour cold, she doesn't care if she gets sick, but I'm still nervous to kiss her.

After 2 hours she pokes me and I poke her back, give her a kiss on the cheek when she plays injured, some time later she pokes my knee, I tap her's, she plays injured and I tell her I know what will make her feel better and finally kiss her, I then ruin it with how I have physical reactions to being nervous and perceived and jump away from her and curl into a ball, I tell her I wish I wasn't like this, running away from her after finally kissing her, she tells me its okay, I believe she means it but I still feel stupid for it, after I calm down I go back to holding her hand and talking and then see its 11:11, I tell her to make a wish and she kisses me and says her first wish came true, my wish was that, honestly my brain said multiple, at first my default, that I wish for everyone I care about to be happy, then that she's happy, then that we're happy together and that this all goes well since she's leaving in a month.

She says her second wish was to be a penguin, she loves penguins, I tell her I couldn't kiss her if she was a penguin 🐧 and kiss her again, every time I've kissed her I've cupped her face in my hand, the video tutorials all did that, and I don't know what else to do with my hands. At some point after the first kiss I started making more physical contact with her, and after the third I was scratching her leg or arm lightly, the way I've always wanted to do to someone, the way I do to myself when I need comfort, the way I want her too.

She wants me to take the lead but I have no experience and we have so little time, she's been taken advantage of by lovers and less in the past as a sex object and kink for being trans, but I don't really think of her as anything but what she is, a gorgeous girl who makes me happy, it took her time to believe I didn't kust want her for sex like the others in thd past, and I didn't mind giving her time and reminding her whenever she asked "why?", I want to show her love like she's never been shown before so I'll keep trying to be bold and take the lead, and I know one day I won't be so nervous, but hopefully I won't be too late by then, her move date got moved up by multiple months, because I don't know what I'll do with myself if I can't have specifics to think about when she's gone.

I kissed her again before I got out of the car and she teased me that I was running away again, I had no way to retort but to say "well, technically, but also no, I'm just walking away, because." And gave up and told her goodnight.

At some point before I kissed her I said I was gonna steal her hair band and then stopped, she asked why, I then playfully actually took it and put it on my wrist, after a minute I went to give it back and she asked why, I said I'm not gonna steal your hair band (scrunchie that actually I noticed later matches the shirt I was wearing) she says I should and I take my hat off and put it on my already tied up with a small band hair, the undone hair I was hiding because my hair looks horrible not styled, I don't think anyone cares more about how stupid my hair looks than I do though and people keep telling me it's fine but I can't seem to believe them.

At some point before I kiss her she says I've missed about 24 chances to kiss her and she'll tell me all of them one day, I tell her I'm aware, because believe me, I am.

I will now never get rid of this hairband, I know this in my heart, I have a great memory for trinkets and why I have them, it's why it took me 6 tries of going through everything I own to undo the hoard, but now I want her to have something from me, I haven't decided what. Can't be cloths, I'm half her size. So I'm thinking a bracelet, from my friendship bracelets stuff, make her one I think she'd like, or have matching ones maybe, or maybe make them together? Idk yet

Well, It's extremely late and I think this is enough to post into the void, for others to maybe possibly come across and for me to read later. I wanted to write this down, because of how bad my memories gotten these days, as I was falling asleep I realized I have to do it now before I forget the details by the time I wake up, but it's 3:20am now, which isn't great lol

[bklynmusicnerd]

Is it just me or are they repeating Esme storyline from when she first showed up:

Spencer moves in with E out of obligation, meanwhile he's pining over Trina. E thinks she finally has her family, but realizes Trina is a threat because Spencer cant move on from her, so she starts plotting to get rid of her....

I heard a rumor that E and Spencer kiss, which brings back her memories, and Spencer picks up on it. So we may also get the "Spencer staying with evil Esme to get proof " storyline again too.

And what are they going to do with Trina during this mess?

I haven't watched the last two eps of this week yet and really only got the gist from my mom so keep that in mind with this answer.

In general though, my biggest frustration with this terrible demon spawn story for Spencer is that it's all just been one big regression for him. All the lessons he learned during the trial story were completely undone.

So it comes across like we're back to dealing with a pre-trial Spencer that doesn't want to make tough decisions or give up anything, that would rather take the easy way out and a Spencer that continues to shape his entire life in reaction to his father. That version of Spencer hurt Trina, and that's one of the reasons she's reacting so strongly.

As for that rumor, that's the first I'm hearing of that and it sounds like some crap made up in one of those "expert" Facebook groups. None of that speculation makes sense. Spencer doesn't need to get proof, Victor's final gift to him was proof. Spencer hasn't been clear and consistent on much but his overwhelming lack of romantic interest in the sociopathic mooch hasn't changed.

The most I can see is her pathetically trying something (although it'd be weird to do it now when Laura and Kevin are there and not during the summer when they were alone), and he'd probably shove her off like he used to and head straight to the bank to go get that evidence. And as far as "bringing her memories back," there are increasing hints that they've been back and never left.

Everyone is incredibly cornered in this story imo. Spencer and the sociopathic mooch living together has been the status quo. There's no drama on their end, in that anymore. The drama in this story is not "omg what's gonna happen with Spencer and Esme?" The drama is "Can Spencer hold on to Trina, or is he doomed to lose her?" Imo Trina's pov is the only really dynamic one in this story because if Spencer remains delusional, it becomes a choice for her of whether or not love is enough and should she walk away from him.

But even if she did, all I see that leading to is Spencer being depressed and pining for her while the sociopathic mooch terrorizes her again because she can't get Spencer to love her because he loves Trina. A beat between these three that's already been done to death. The problem is that there is no story for Esme on the outside. It's all played out and stale.

This is why I think the only dramatic option left for her is prison. From what I can see, Spencer's ideal is keeping Trina and keeping demon spawn. He really doesn't perceive the sociopathic mooch at all and that's the crux of his issue with Trina. I see no point in building up Spencer being messy and selfish again if this isn't all building to him using the evidence in a drastic attempt to get everything he wants.

[melodyplucked]

   ❝    i’ve missed it too, and you... and us.   ❞    because really- how could he not. after loving her practically his whole life, it was never an option... like she'd said herself. he feels a bit bad honestly, bringing it up when it seems that no, she'd rather not know she wasn't the only one hurting when they'd parted.   ❝    you weren't being stupid. i told you- i don't want to hold you back. i've always believed in you, nini. and i always did want to be your best friend even if you didn't think you could handle more, being across the country and all. we made that decision together. to break up.   ❞    and yeah, it had hurt like hell seeing her leave... but at the same time, if that's what she needed... he'd take the heartache over and over again. hand rubs her back as she buries her face in his chest that way, holding her so close to him.   ❝    she makes a good point.   ❞    he chuckles, grinning at her happily.   ❝    i’d definitely love to live together as soon as you're ready for it. and the hoodie thing's just a bonus- i mean- we won't have to trade, with all the time we like to spend together anyway...   ❞    ricky nods, fingers tracing little hearts on her hip.

as she trades her dress for his hoodie, he can't help but admire her. she's just here- real- comfortable in his space like it's her own. like it will be. and it really will be. not too much longer... she belongs in his life and they both know it. they belong together.   ❝    i’ve missed seeing you wearing my clothes. you in that hoodie with no pants is a sight i didn't even realize i've been missing so much.   ❞    he says with a bit of a smirk on his lips as he finishes changing too, the remaining buttons of his shirt quickly coming undone until he's left in a black t-shirt that fits just a bit too tight. or maybe just the right amount. it's domestic like this- getting comfortable for the night together. it's like no time has passed. this is nothing like taking home a stranger like her friends are probably thinking...

the admission has him smiling.   ❝    i always loved seeing that around your neck. how you wore it every day those few years... it's really cool- knowing you kept wearing it. i know it gets to be a habit and all, but- still. lots of memories...   ❞    once he's close again, his own fingers are toying with the delicate chain around her neck and just ever so lightly touching her skin.   ❝    feels good- having you call me baby. i love you too. and i love our memories... even though i'm pretty sure kourtney gave me an earful about not stealing her best friend away after that night.   ❞    and he hadn't really... not in that way... he and nini have just... always been special to each other. and their relationship had evolved with time. freshman year of high school especially, after middle school had made the changes between them evident.   

❝    yes- i'd love to. let's sit out on the fire escape. weather's nice and i like being able to see the sky.   ❞    he remarks, nodding in response to the question.   ❝    plus, we've gotta get you off those feet.   ❞    ricky looks at her a bit mischievously before sort of bending down a bit and scooping her up in his arms, fully prepared to carry her out to that big window and the fire escape.   ❝    nothing i'd like more than to just cuddle and talk with you tonight.   ❞    

❝     not     loving     you     was     never     an     option.     ❞     nini     tells     him,     a     decisive     shake     of     her     head.     she'd     made     a     choice,     one     that     she     wasn't     all     that     happy     with,     and     she'd     had     to     live     with     it.     but     not     loving     ricky     bowen?     that     was     just     never     going     to     happen.     she'd     loved     him     for     almost     her     entire     life.     she     giggles     at     that     comment,     but     it's     been     true     for     as     long     as     she's     known     him.     worming     her     way     into     his     space     has     been     a     thing     she's     done     since     they     were     just     little.     back     when     they'd     been     allowed     to     have     sleepovers     and     she'd     curl     up     right     next     to     him,     falling     asleep     with     fingers     interlaced,     to     school     days     when     the     teachers     learned     they     had     to     be     seated     next     to     each     other     at     all     times     or     nini     would     get     pouty.     she     needed     the     comfort     of     holding     ricky's     hand.     ❝     i     love     being     close     to     you     like     this.     being     held     by     you...     i've     missed     this     so     much.     i     missed     you     so     much.     ❞

❝     it     doesn't     make     me     feel     better,     no.     ❞     she     says,     brows     knitting     together.     ❝     i     hate     knowing     that     a     decision     i     made     hurt     you.     you     didn't     deserve     that.     you     weren't     holding     me     back.     it     was     stupid     of     me     to     think     that     i     needed     to     be     single     and     unattached     to     move     across     the     country.     that     was     dumb.     you've     only     ever     been     my     biggest     supporter     and     best     friend.     being     scared     of     the     distance     was     a     stupid     excuse.     ❞     she     tells     him,     her     forehead     pressed     against     the     crook     of     his     neck.     she     hated     knowing     he'd     been     crying     over     her.     

❝     my     lease     will     be     up     a     while     before     yours,     so...     ❞     she     looks     at     him     with     that     devious     little     smile     of     hers,     the     one     that     has     gotten     them     both     into     trouble     in     the     past,     and     bats     her     eyes     at     him.     ❝     really,     where's     the     sense     is     renewing     it     when     you've     got     such     a     nice     place     here?     ❞     she     asks,     looking     around     at     the     room     they     were     standing     in.     

❝     i     think     i     won't     need     to     switch     out     hoodies     a     million     times     if     we're     going     to     be     practically     living     together.     ❞     she     says     with     a     laugh.     watching     him     walk     into     his     bedroom     sucks     a     little.     she     wants     to     follow     him,     but     she     keeps     her     feet     planted     where     she     stands     until     he's     back.    she     needs     to     get     dressed     for     bed,     for     the     evening     they're     sharing,     but     she     doesn't     want     to     leave     him.     maybe     she     should     ask     him     where     his     bathroomis,     but     she     doesn't.     instead,     she     steps     back,     and     rids     herself     of     the     tight     dress     she'd     wiggled     her     way     into,     and     pulls     the     hoodie     on     so     happily,     grinning     brightly     as     the     material     pools     around     her,     cocooning     her     in     warmth     and     the     scent     of     her     beloved.     she     really     didn't     need     the     sweats     he'd     brought     her,     what     with     the     way     the     hoodie     is     almost     a     dress     on     her,     but     she     pulls     them     on     anyway,     and     pulls     the     drawstring     as     tight     as     it'll     go     to     get     the     pants     up.     

❝     i     haven't     taken     this     necklace     off     since     you     got     it     for     me,     except     for     when     it     had     to     be     taken     to     the     jewelry     store     to     be     cleaned.     it's     a     permanent     piece     of     my     wardrobe.     ❞     she     says,     hand     reaching     up     to     toy     with     the     little     pendant     on     a     chain.     she     loved     it     so     much.     she     smiles     at     his     question;     the     picture     was     adorable.     their     memories     were     so     important     to     her     and     seeing     that     reflected     in     his     home     was     incredible.     they'd     really     never     fallen     out     of     love     and     it     made     her     so     happy.     ❝     i     love     it,     baby.     i     love     you.     freshman     homecoming     sure     was     a     night,     huh?     ❞     she     asks     with     a     laugh.     she     and     kourtney     had     vowed     to     go     to     the     dance     together,     but     when     ricky     had     asked     her,     she     couldn't     tell     him     no.     she'd     told     kourt     it     wouldn't     be     any     different     if     ricky     tagged     along.     that     had,     of     course,     been     untrue.     she'd     spent     so     much     of     the     night     dancing     with     him,     begging     the     dj     at     every     turn     of     a     song     to     play     something     slow     again.     every     request     she'd     written     in     the     dj's     book     had     been     something     slow,     so     they     could     dance     that     much     closer.     

❝     can     we     sit     somewhere?     curl     up     together     and     talk?     ❞     she     asks,     shifting     on     her     feet     where     she     was     standing.     those     heels     had     done     a     number     on     her     and     her     feet     were     so     sore.     not     to     mention     how     much     she     just     wanted     to     be     cuddled     up     into     his     side     with     his     arm     wrapped     around     her     so     nicely.

[tarabyte3]

I Want You to Show Me Weak

Fandom: Andor

Pairing: Kino Loy/F!Reader

Chapter 5/27 (4k words)

->start at chapter 1<-

<- Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 ->

Summary: You're pretty sure Kino Loy hates you. He screams at you, grabs you, and shoves you against the wall, and it's becoming a problem because, well...it shouldn't fluster you as much as it does.

Warnings: Explicit rating, Smut, Prison, Prison sex, minor non-graphic injuries, Dom/Sub, sexual tension, dirty talk, praise, hair-pulling, light choking, unprotected sex, oral, angst

A/N: You can all have some light smut. As a treat. Work title is from "Poison" by Vaults. Chapter title is from "Bedroom Hymns" by Florence + The Machine . Previous chapter links up above.

AO3 Link

Chapter 5 - Sweating out confessions, the undone and the divine

"Look at those smug assholes at table 3. They're a rack up and they think they're so great, even though there's still two hours left." Taybus throws a large socket wrench down a little too hard and it clatters on the table. Threl straightens up and glares at him.

"I know you're not trying to break shit when there's only two hours left," he scolds.

"If they gave us better tools then we wouldn't have to worry about breaking anything." Taybus pouts as he checks his work.

"They aren't gonna give us better shit, boy." Jevid grunts as he passes Sorrek the hanging drill. "So stop whining about it."

"I'm bored. This shift is taking forever!" He picks the wrench back up to tighten the part he half-assed the first time.

"Are you? We hadn't noticed!" Alis doesn't look up from locking the joint in place opposite you. "What are you in such a hurry for anyway? Got a hot date? Dinner plans? Wanna see how much your mustache has grown since we been in here?"

You can't help but finally crack a smile and you look up to see Alis grin and wink at you.

"I have to take a shit and I already used my second break. If I go back, Kino will kick my ass."

Your face immediately falls at hearing Kino's name, and you hover closer to the table. Alis sighs. He opens his mouth to say something else, but there's the sound of a fist on the table.

"Taybus," Sorrek's voice is stern and angry, "I know things have been tense around here, but this isn't helping."

"They're up one more," Jevid cuts in.

"If you want first place that god-damned badly, then focus on work. That's what will help. What you are doing right now serves no one. So stop it. Now." You look up just in time to see Sorrek give Taybus a thin lipped, angry stare down. Taybus breaks the eye contact first and looks at his feet, dejected. You can't really blame him. It's Sorrek's full disappointed dad voice. Even you feel a little guilty because it's your fault things are so tense in the first place.

"What's gotten into you anyway?" Threl shakes his head.

"His sparring partner isn't up for his shenanigans and he's worried, but doesn't have the emotional capacity to handle it." Alis slaps the top of the part to let Jevid know he's done, and then looks between you and Taybus daring either of you to tell him he's wrong.

"I'm fine," you grumble.

"I am not worried! What's it to me if she's sulking because she got yelled at?"

"Clear!"

You take a step back and glare at Taybus. "Yep, that's me, the giant baby at the table that has never gotten yelled at before. It hurt my delicate womanly feelings."

"Then what the fuck did he do back there? Spank you?" Taybus rolls his eyes, but you feel a wave of hot anger.

"Shut the fuck up, Taybus! Right now." Your usual light tone is missing and everyone, not just Taybus, seems taken aback.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean it! I was just trying to make you laugh." He sounds genuine and you know things must be bad if he's actually apologizing. You suddenly feel like an asshole because of course he doesn't know.

"No, I'm sorry." You sigh and look around the table as the next piece clicks into place. "I know I've been miserable to be around. I'm really trying, here. Just...give me time."

Kino walks by at that exact moment, and glances up from his data pad to look over the table. You're the last thing his focus lands on. When his eyes meet yours, there's a flash of something in them. Sadness? Concern? You can't tell, as usual, and you're tired of trying to figure it out. You quickly look away.

"Good work," Kino pats Threl on the shoulder and moves on to the next table.

"Wow, he didn't even yell at us." Any trace of Taybus's humility from being snapped at by the rest of you is already gone. "Being in second place is kind of awesome."

You just grumble, "Give me a lot of time, apparently." The only one that hears you is Alis.

"Want me to shit on his bed for you?" He whispers.

And you can't help it, you howl with laughter. For the first time in too long. It feels nice.

Your table gets second place by less than a rack. You're all a little disappointed you were so close to first, but it's still second place. The mood has been bleak for a while now so you'll happily take the small win. Maybe tomorrow you can actually get first, now that you have a taste for it. Maybe tomorrow you'll start to feel better.

It's that evening, on the heels of your second place victory, that Kino visits you. You're lying in your cell, facing the wall once again, so you don't know he's there at first. Or how long he stands there just watching you. You hope it isn't long so he didn't see the way you hug yourself as you curl your knees to your chest, or hear your little sniffles and world-weary sighs.

"Are you busy?" His voice comes from the doorway of your cell. Your stomach knots and rolls with dread at the sound. It's the first time he's spoken to you since…since The Hallway. With a deep, calming breath, you school your expression into an impassive stare and get up from your cot to stand in the middle of the small room.

"No. I'm not busy," you deadpan. You briefly meet his eyes, but you keep your focus on his shoulder instead. It feels safer that way. He looks the same as he always does, that halfway point between irritable and indifferent, so you're not expecting an apology. Why bother to give yourself that hope?

You expect him to talk to you from the main floor while leaning against your bench. That's what most people do when they chat during freetime. Instead he takes a step directly into your cell. Right before his foot touches the floor, you call out "wait!" and tense with panic, anticipating a shock that never comes, even as he stands before you.

You slowly unclench as you attempt to convince your body it's safe. Then you turn to him, wide eyed in surprise. "How?"

"Manager privilege." He moves to stand in front of you, and he's too close. Not as close as he gets when he's mad, but close enough that you can see every line on his face and darker hair in his beard. The strong angles of his jaw and speckled blue of his eyes. And god, how did you ever look into those eyes and not immediately feel like you're being plunged into water, swept into a wave, and dashed upon rocks? Because this has to be what drowning feels like.

"Oh." You blink at him, trying not to get distracted admiring his worn face, even though you've already failed at it. "I...didn't know you had that as a perk."

He shrugs and says gruffly, "Never wanted to use it before."

You're disgusted by the small thrill in your chest, both at his words and his presence.

"I'm going to guess you would like to talk, then." You want to sound flippant, but can't keep the ache and curiosity out of your voice. You also wrack your brain trying to think of anything you could have done during your shift that could be construed as worthy of a conversation, and nothing comes to mind. You've been very careful.

"You did well today." He takes a step closer. Now he's so impossibly close. You could lift your hand and touch his chest to feel the steady rhythm of his heart if you wanted to. And with dismay you know that you do want to. "In fact, you've been doing well for a while now."

You blink at him again. "What?"

"I thought you deserved to know that I've noticed." He leans in and lowers his voice to that gravelly half whisper. "And it made me realize that I've been so focused on punishment, I haven't given any consideration to how I might reward you."

You jump back like you've been slapped and your legs bang against the raised platform of your bed. Reward? Is he mocking you? Whatever this is, it's cruel and you've officially had enough. You don't deserve this.

"What is this?" Your voice is stern and outraged, and he looks taken aback by your tone and your reaction. "I know you hate me, but I guess I don't understand what the angle is here. To hurt me? To break me?" At that the creases on his forehead deepen in confusion. "If so, mission accomplished."

"I don't hate you." He frowns.

You give a bitter laugh. "Yes you do. You yell at me all the time." You lift your chin in challenge, daring him to refute it. You want to say more, to throw the rest of it in his face, but you don't trust yourself to not start sobbing or screaming or to push him out of your cell.

"I have to keep order on the floor. If I don't, they fry all of us as punishment. I yell at anyone that's disruptive. You just happen to have been particularly disruptive lately," he says, as if that should be obvious. As if he doesn't understand why he has to say it out loud.

You lean back, trying to create space between you to process that. And he's right. You have seen him yell at other people before. It's different with you, though. You know it is. "But you don't…grab anyone else like you've grabbed me."

His eyes flicker to your lips when you mention grabbing you and you watch a brief glimmer of heat appear on his face. If you hadn't been watching him so closely, you would have missed it.

"I suppose I don't, do I?"

What?

Wait.

What?!

Your heart pounds alarmingly against your ribcage, then, because that small action brings you a moment of absolute clarity:

"They aren't allowed to bother you." Every thing he's said to you. "Says me." Every piece you've been missing. "I know what she needs." Every double meaning of conversations you weren't privy to. "Are you going to behave?" Every damn shred of context. His nose brushing against yours as he holds you against the wall. It all slots into place in your mind, like stepping back from a puzzle to view a full picture. You see. Finally. He doesn't hate you.

Kino Loy wants to fuck you.

You have to sit down.

It's only after you sit that you realize you said that out loud. He's standing in front of you, waiting patiently.

"I didn't say you could sit."

And, oh God. You've just realized what this is. What you've been doing this whole time.

"Fuck," you swear under your breath. You know at that moment you have a choice to make. You can stay sitting and walk away. You can end this and heal and move on with time. You can try to resume what little semblance of a life you had in here. Or you can stand up.

You also know this isn't even a choice for you. There was only ever one outcome when it came to him.

You stand back up so you're face to face with him. He smiles at you, and it is triumphant and ruthless. He's been waiting for this.

Then he lessens the gap between you, but doesn't close it. His mouth hovers near yours, and though it's something he's done before, it is an entirely new and intoxicating sensation now that you realize what it fucking meant. That he enjoys it just as much as you do. That he's into it. A shiver travels down your spine from your neck to your tailbone, and overflows deliciously to your core.

"Stop me if at any point I'm wrong," he growls. "The first time I grabbed you, you liked it." You take a quivering breath, but don't say anything. "When I pushed you against the window you liked it even more." Your tongue darts out to unconsciously lick your lips as you remember just how close he had gotten and how you thought he might kiss you. His own lip curls into a gratified smile at your continued silence. "But when I grabbed your face and humiliated you in private? You liked that best of all."

You swallow hard because despite how much it hurt you emotionally, physically you fucking loved it. "You know I did."

"I wanted to hear you say it." His mouth ghosts against yours, a phantom of a kiss.

"Were you pushing me to see how far you could take it before I would break?"

"Not break," his voice rumbles, "surrender."

You shiver at the word. At the implication of the word. "If I didn't figure it out and continued to sulk, what then? What was next?"

"Do you really want to know, or do you want me to save it?" He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and you have to fight to remain upright and focused.

"Would it be my reward for behaving?" You're panting now and your entire body feels like an overstimulated, exposed nerve.

He gives you a smug, hungry gaze. "I told you I realized you don't respond to yelling."

You whimper and desperately want to press against him, to bring your bodies flush together, to touch him, but you stay where you are. You behave. "Save it."

"Does that mean you want this?" He lets the very tip of his nose brush your cheek.

"Yes," you gasp.

"Say it."

"I want this, Kino." You quickly bite your lip to stifle a moan. "Fuck, have I wanted this."

"I thought you may have. Now do me a favor and be very quiet for me." He shifts on his feet to further block the view from the other cells.

You give him a dazed look and manage to get out "what?" before his hand is running through your hair and he's massaging your scalp. It feels remarkable because it's touch, but more specifically it's his touch. You lean into his fingers like a lothcat, seeking more, and he rewards you with a slow drag of his nails. Some of the tension you had been holding on to for weeks at this point starts to melt away.

Just when you're ready to smile lazily up at him, his hand tightens around a large fistful of your hair. Then he wrenches your head back, exposing your neck to him. You start to cry out, but the sound dies almost immediately when you remember what he said to you.

"Very good," he purrs in your ear before moving to breathe against your now vulnerable throat. "You don't want to draw attention to this, do you?"

"No," you whimper.

"I don't think your table would appreciate it, would they? What would they think of you if they saw you whining and eager for this?" He lightly drags his scruffy cheek along your sensitive skin.

You feel a surge of arousal in response, which causes you to redden in shame. They can never know about this. About him, yes, but never this. This is yours. He tilts his head until his lips graze your neck as he talks.

"If they knew how wet you are right now, just from my hand in your hair?" He squeezes his fist to emphasize his point and you gasp. "Because you are, aren't you?"

"Yes," you choke out.

"Are you going to touch yourself later and think about me?" You swallow down the groan that nearly escapes your mouth. The tip of his nose traces your jawline and you feel your knees go weak, but he holds you steady. His hand is an anchor while you stand there in your cell, the backs of your knees against your bed.

"I will," you arch against him, breathless. "I do." He pauses, fighting to maintain control of himself after your admission. Feeling bold you add, "Do you want to know what I think about?"

There is a twitch of his lips against your throat, then he slowly resumes the near touch of his exploration. "Tell me," he sounds more unbalanced than before.

"I think about you fucking me in that hallway with your hand still on my jaw and my throat." He grunts and rests his forehead against your cheek for a moment.

"Fuck," he pants. "You don't make this easy for me, do you?"

"No," you whisper back, "I intend to make it very hard."

He wrenches on your hair again and you're expecting it, but the sting still causes a swell of pleasure between your legs.

"I'm going to have to come up with something to keep your mouth occupied, aren't I?" You gasp and lick your lips. "I take it you like that idea."

"Yes," you moan as quietly as you can.

"Are you going to think about it later with your hands down the front of your pants?" He runs his rough, fuzzy cheek against your neck again, but harder this time so that it burns.

"Yes, Kino." You're so lost in sensation that your words are almost inaudible.

"Do you think about anyone else when you touch yourself?"

"No," you hiss, "only you." You vow it with such ferocity that you almost don't recognize your own voice.

He hums in approval and rewards you with firm, open mouthed kisses below your ear. They trail down your neck and his tongue laps hungrily at your skin. Just when you've adjusted to the feeling enough to stop squirming, he nips at your throat and your eyes close in rapture. In that moment, everything you know and everything you are is bliss.

"You did so well," he praises. His fingers immediately relax in your hair, and he's tenderly massaging your scalp and hovering before you once more. Your muscles are weak, there's a dampness between your legs, and you crave more.

You also know he's not going to give it to you. You're going to have to work for every touch. For now, reward is caress. It's a kiss. Soon it will be stroking and touching until he finally fucks you. Punishment is humiliation and none of that. And god, do you want him to reward you.

"Thank you." You turn your head so you can nuzzle your face against his arm.

"You understand now?"

"I do," you sigh.

"And you still want this?"

"I want this," you insist.

"If at any point you don't, you tell me. Because you are not powerless here. I want your surrender and your devotion, but only if you give them to me. Do you understand?"

"I understand, Kino." The word devotion sets your mind and nerves alight, makes you ache and tingle. You look into his eyes so he knows you mean it. They're so wide and blue and beautiful. It's almost as if you can see the sky again. He fills you with such warmth that you want to bask in front of him like he's the sun.

He softens and his other hand delicately cups your jaw, which is so different from the last time his hand was on your jaw. You're nearly overwhelmed by all of the affection he's giving you after feeling nothing but misery for too long. "I'm sorry you didn't before. That was my fault. I really thought you did because the way you came undone in my hands…" he takes a shaky breath, "but I should have made sure. That will never happen again."

Then he kisses you—truly kisses you. Lightly at first, adjusting to the touch of your lips and how you slot together, which sets your mind reeling and draws another whine from your throat. And that would have been enough because Kino is kissing you and you're allowed to finally wrap your arms around him. To touch him. To feel his hands gripping your waist and running a long your hips. It would have been everything, but when you moan against him, he deepens it, tasting you and letting his tongue slide against yours.

It isn't reward or punishment. It's just him, and it's an apology. One you know you deserve. You want to lose yourself in it, to never stop kissing him and letting your hands roam over his back and shoulders, but too soon he pulls away. When he looks at you, his lips are red and kiss swollen against the grey of his beard. You can't help but groan at the sight. To wonder what he looks like further wrecked.

"Do you…?" You trail off, suddenly shy. Which is silly, you think, considering what just transpired between you. But there's still a part of you that hasn't accepted he doesn't hate you. That needs to absorb this.

"Do I what?" There's an amused look on his face.

He doesn't hate you, you tell yourself. He knows. He knows and he wants you.

"Do you touch yourself and think about me?" You whisper.

"Every night." He growls and presses your foreheads together.

"When?" You sigh into the touch. "How long?"

"The first time I grabbed you and just held you there. I had intended to yell at you, but god, you were trembling and writhing, and making this little noise in your throat. Every thought I had then was gone. I just stared at you, thinking about what other sounds I could coax out of you."

"Oh," you gasp because he could have fooled you. Did, in fact. He was so stoic. "I didn't realize what it did to me at the time. Was I that obvious?" You cringe thinking about how it must have looked to everyone else.

"It was to me." His voice is a husky rasp.

"Good." You can feel another surge of arousal between your legs.

"Unfortunately, I should go now. It's getting late and it will be a hot floor soon. Everyone at your table will be returning to their cells any minute." He sounds regretful, at least.

"Okay." You sag a little in disappointment and look down at the floor because you just got this and you don't want to let it go yet.

"Hey." He places a finger under your chin so that you are forced to look him in the eye. "Continue to behave. I'm always watching." He gives you a hungry smile. "And I can come back tomorrow."

You nod, your disappointment fading away at the promise of more. "You know I will."

Before he leaves your cell, he pauses and looks at you over his shoulder. "You really thought I hated you?"

"Yes." You say without hesitation.

"What did you think was happening then?"

"That you knew how I reacted and how I felt, and you were humiliating me out of cruelty. To get me to listen." He flinches and you know it hurts him to hear, but you aren't trying to cause him pain. It's simply a truth that had hurt you to go through. You don't want anything left unsaid.

He looks at you with an expression of profound conviction, one so open and sincere that you could never doubt it for a moment. "Never cruelty."

It's breathtaking, and you wonder why he scowls at all. You give him a nod because now you believe him. Now you know the truth. Satisfied, he exits your cell.

Later that night, you do exactly as promised. You slip your hand into the waistband of your pants when everyone else is asleep, wondering if he's down the hall doing the same. You think about his hand clamped around your jaw and twisted in your hair. Think about him pressing you into the wall, his lips on yours, the feel of his tongue. What would have happened if no one else had been looking? Would he have taken you against the window? Pushed you to your knees? You think about supplicating yourself before him and showing him just how devoted you can be.

NEXT CHAPTER->

[bgharison]

TEN RANDOM LINES

tagged by @goneahead thank you❤️!

I hope I didn't go overboard with too many words . . . it's hard to choose!

Rules: Pick any ten of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people. tagging @thekristen999 and . . . well shoot, I can't keep track of who all has been tagged. If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged! Please share!!!

All of these are from the H50 fandom

Seals and Other Animals

“I’m sorry Grace got hurt today,” Steve said.  “Do you think we would have ended up here, if she hadn’t?”

“Oh yeah,” Danny said, without a moment’s hesitation. “We’ve been headed here since we drew down on each other in the garage. You make me so crazy, you self-sacrificing nincompoop.  I was on the verge of making a huge scene, declaring my undying affection in the middle of a shootout, or using kissing and groping to distract you from a bad idea while we were standing around the smart table.”

“Don’t tell Kono,” Steve warned, “she’ll demand a reenactment.”

2. Illness, Exhaustion

Steve fidgeted with the neck of his hospital gown, attempting to re-tie it without tangling the IV line.  When Danny couldn’t take it anymore, he stood up, batted Steve’s hands away, and tied the strings.  He rested his hand on the back of Steve’s neck, squeezing gently.

“What.  The hell.  Were you thinking?” he said.  The words were familiar, but his hands were still, and his tone more fond than frustrated.

Steve tried to put his still-fuzzy thoughts in a semblance of order.

“I’m sick,” he started.

“So I gathered.”

“It’s leukemia.  From the radiation.”

“I’ve been told.”

3. Drastic Loss

Julia laughed again.  He couldn’t see her now, but he picture her, the sun sparking off her hair, in wild tumbles of waves around her face, like it had that first time he met her.  And he could hear her, that laugh. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch up, even though he wasn’t entirely sure why.

“Oh, Steven, really?  You know you prefer blondes.  I thought you would have sorted that out by now.”

4. Assumptions

Because they’d danced around it, slinging innuendo and loaded glances and “babe” until Danny flung open the back of the truck in North Korea.  And when they finally landed at Hickam, it was Danny who slid behind the wheel of the Silverado as if he had done it a thousand times, Danny who steered them home, Danny who held him in the shower and carefully washed away the blood, and the grime, and it was Danny who finished taking him apart, piece by piece, and then slowly started putting him back together again.

5. Unraveled

And that’s it, that’s Danny’s whole life, everything he thought he ever knew and everything he never knew he wanted, unraveled, right there, unwoven and undone on Steve’s front porch.

6. See You Tomorrow

And I just . . . I just want you to feel like you can be honest with me, Steve, just between us.  You owe me that much, I think, because I get shot at, because of you, on a semi-regular basis.  Are you, you know.  Are you wrecked enough that you could?”

Steve looked at him, finally, and his eyes were filled with so much raw emotion that Danny stopped breathing.  Sadness, and loss, and something just unfathomable, all underneath those ridiculous lashes and --

“I’m wrecked enough that I could, Danny, and even more wrecked because I can’t,” Steve said, quietly, “because I wouldn’t.  I won’t.  I wouldn’t do that to the team.”

7. Relief

“Oh, God, Steve, I get it, I do,” Danny said, his voice low and urgent. The sirens were very close now. Maybe two blocks. He pressed harder on the wound. “I understand, Steve. But I can’t, buddy, I can’t tell you that it’s okay to let go. I just can’t, you understand, right?”

8. Ua Hopu (Caught) McKono Tag

“Adam . . . Noshimuri?” Danny repeated, incredulous. “He put a hand on her? On Kono.”

“He did.”

“So Steve found out, and he --”

“Looks like.”

“Oh,” Danny said. “Oh.” He looked back at Chin, grinning. “Well, we wondered what it would take.”

9. Believe

Steve finds relief in cleaning his M4. It feels better in his hand than rosary beads ever would.

10. Don't Ask, Don't Tell (Don't Look Too Close)

“Hey,” Danny said, so softly, and Steve almost couldn’t take it.  Afghanistan had taken all the softness out of him, couldn’t Danny see that?  It had drained out, out with his sweat and his blood as it had spilled out onto the sand, and then the sand had rubbed all the rest away.  “Hey, slow your roll.  No one’s asked anyone to move in yet.  Hell, I don’t even know if you’re a good fuck.”

“Fuck you,” Steve said, laughing, but he was shaking, and his knees suddenly didn’t work. 

[sapphicwhxre]

your first time | HCs

what your first time having sex includes (for anon)

Г includes : hermione granger, draco malfoy, harry potter, ron weasley, ginny weasley, pansy parkinson, fred weasley, george weasley, luna lovegood, cho chang, fleur delacour, nymphadora tonks, bellatrix lestrange, and narcissa black

♡─

hermione granger

♡─

actually researches everything she can to make it good for you (which ends up working really well)

is such a nervous wreck about making it perfect that you have to remind her

"it's with you, it'll already be perfect"

uses terms like vagina until you straight up tell her you're comfortable with dirtier words

foreplay QUEEN

does absolutely everything in her power to get you as wet as possible before doing anything

to the point where you wonder if you'll cum before even fucking

is already asking you what kinks you wanna try at this point

doesn't shut up but she's complimenting you the whole time

gets really encouraged + turned on whenever you moan

clingy, grinning mess after

asks you immediately what you want her to do better next time

♡─

draco malfoy

♡─

cocky, cocky, cocky

secretly really nervous but still plays it up

will not let you top

returns anything you do

doesn't stand for you being quiet

he will do everything in his power to get you as loud as possible

also doesn't take his eyes off you at all ─ like he wants to memorise every second of it and every inch of your body

pretty rough but instantly softens if he thinks he hurt you or something

won't cum until you do

tells you how hot you were after

teases you for cumming for him like that wasn't the intended goal

acts non chalant instead of telling you how head over heels he is

♡─

harry potter

♡─

harry is CURIOUS and no one can tell me otherwise

you're the one that has to tell him it's ok to touch you and he goes all out once you do

wants to do everything, touch you everywhere

actually wouldn't be able to get over you or shift his focus from pleasing you

"these are so pretty", "i love this", "say my name again", etc.

you probably have to pull him away at some point if you want to actually touch him ─ or fuck

absolutely shook when do you touch him

tries to stay quiet until you tell him you wanna hear him

then he won't shut up with the babbling and the praises

wants a second round as soon as you finish

♡─

ron weasley

♡─

thanks to hbp, we know how inexperienced ron is

so don't expect him to get actually kinky the first time

sure, he wants to go all out with you but he's actually really gentle

accidentally tries something in the moment (like choking, degrading, basically any kink) and apologises

then can't believe the experience actually gets better when you roll with said kink (and enjoy it)

slows and asks if you're ok the whole time

and every time you say yes, he gets really encouraged

doesn't even want to pull away when you're done ─ basically never wants to take his hands off of you again

heavy breathing and huge grinning right on your skin when you're done

having a snack together after because it's cute and he's all worn out so

♡─

ginny weasley

♡─

effortlessly sexy

honestly gets you going without even knowing it (you're done for when she actually tries)

she's really casual but sweet

definitely confident

puts her hair in a ponytail so you can see her face but still grab her hair

can't stay serious for shit ─ she's so happy and makes sure you know it

absolutely teases you if you stare at her

"its like this is the first time you've seen me naked!"

voices how turned on she is and how hot she finds you

forces herself to keep her eyes open because she wants to see you come undone

gets as many orgasms out of you as she can

sits on your lap and plants all these little kisses on your face when you're finished

♡─

pansy parkinson

♡─

"y/n and i are going to fuck, you should all be jealous" "oh my gods pansy,"

only a little nervous ─ she's more excited than anything

starts to confidently tells you about her daydreams, fantasies, and wet dreams but ends up blushing really hard

gets to work immediately

assumes she's topping but is actually willing to let you if you'd like

cocky, teasing, and sweet the whole time

goes for dirty names right off the bat

doesn't miss a beat when you cum, "baby 'm gonna take you against the wall now"

keeps going even after she gets tired

finally stops once you're both mindblown and unable to walk

falls asleep naked with you, head in your hair, mumbling about how she has the best s/o

♡─

fred weasley

♡─

will pick you up/drag you/etc. to wherever you're doing this

excited as fuck but wants a safeword first and foremost

probably makes it something really stupid

you can barely get anything other than moans out once he starts touching you

gives you kisses, talks dirty, fucks you as hard as he can... he goes all out

just to make your first time the best you've ever had

focuses on giving unless you want more

softer during the second round but way kinkier ─ the boy likes trouble more than work but he's still a quick learner

slow, tired makeout when you're both worn out and him spooning you

♡─

george weasley

♡─

also really excited

has already figured out your kinks at this point through conversation cues and imagined making you cum with all of them

won't stop kissing you, saying stuff like, "ready to cum for me baby?"

SWOONING banter, "so long as you fill me up love"

confident + teasing about it

"fuck, how did you know i like that?" "a weasley is always prepared y/n," "didn't you forget to wear shoes to class last week?"

absolute gentleman

makes sure everything's ok with you

knows how to get you hot and bothered without being too rough

grunted i love yous

pulls out of you once you're all fucked out but keeps you close so he can give your forehead wet, praising kisses

♡─

luna lovegood

♡─

so ready to do this

tells you really non-chalantly how bad she wants you

also a queen of foreplay

undresses you so carefully and slowly, telling you how gorgeous you are

long kisses

open about her kinks, asks straight up what yours are

locking fingers while you fuck and agreeing to only let go if one of you wants to stop

spoiler, your hands may as well be fused together by the end of the night

coaxes you through her moans and checks on you

even though she knows ─ and trust me, she KNOWS ─ you're having the time of your life

wants you to lay on your back after you cum and plays with your hair + swirls her fingers on your skin from her comfy lil seat on your waist

♡─

cho chang

♡─

sweet over sexy first time

nervous at first that someone's going to walk in but once she starts touching you, the whole world disappears

lots of blushing and giggling

nothing too serious ─ your legs are tangled and you're just heart eyed

plants kisses all over you the whole time

actually loses herself with you

like eyes scrunched shut and looking like an angel

if she didn't want to see you all pretty and moaning so bad, she'd probably keep her eyes closed and just be happy with how good you feel

whispers the cutest but dirtiest shit

so smiley when you cum

gets pouty if you pull away or stand up after

wants to cuddle, skin to skin, and keep giving you kisses

♡─

fleur delacour

♡─

wants it to be perfect

wears the prettiest lingerie she owns

sets a romantic scene

physically and verbally

trust me when i say this girl is a romantic goddess when it comes to words

pulls out the french and tells you how beautiful she thinks you are

magic touch ─ her fingers are stroking and caressing you during everything and it feels magical

during this first time, actions > words

barely says anything

other than moaning your name

quietly praises you under her breath but says it louder if you tell her to

just really sensual and passionate

holds you in her arms and kisses all over your neck and shoulders when you finish

♡─

nymphadora tonks

♡─

"love, are you sure you want to do this together?"

the second she has your full comfort and consent?

she goes wild

fucks you a thousand different ways but is being so sweet with her words

respectful yet dirty, complimenting in the sexiest tone you've ever heard

wouldn't want to do anything too kinky the first time

only because she wants to leave you wanting more

(as if you won't already ─)

definitely loses control of her hair colour in the moment

it just feels so good that she can't help but go bright and vibrant

all bubbly and talkative when you finish + gets herself together and changes her hair back to your favourite colour

♡─

bellatrix lestrange

♡─

lays out all her kinks that first time

goes absolutely wild in bed

covers you in sloppy kisses and hickeys

moans shit like, "i have been thinking about this since the moment i laid eyes on you,"

loud the whole time

possessive pet names

my doll, my love, my pretty little thing

melts the first time your hands are in her hair

(whether they're pulling at it or running through it)

won't say anything about it but looks for cues that you're comfortable and enjoying it as much as she is

doesn't stop until you're completely worn out

lays on your chest when you're done

and falls asleep mumbling praises

♡─

narcissa black

♡─

tease

wants to stretch out your desire before you do anything for as long as she can

long kisses, hooked fingers, etc.

and when she does fuck you?

respectful queen, looks at you for consent before trying anything

stays serious but if you let out a little giggle, she indulges it because she's just as excited to finally be doing this with you

knows what she wants and expects it

she doesn't stop coming up to kiss you

tells you how good you're doing the whole time

makes you cum as many times as she possibly can before finally letting go

doesn't let go when you're done ─ she wants to stay close to you, hot breaths and juices mixing while she kisses the top of your head

─────

[pinksopaque]

love should be allowed to defend herself , she really should . even though she knows the hate in his heart - she's still there , being the devoted one in their marriage , defending him , being alongside him as he's killing people because she is too ! it doesn't make her any better , although ( ... ) love can't talk about herself , she kills people as much as he does , acts on her own violent impulses because that's just the way that she is , she does rather than thinks - that much has gotten her that far in life , but love isn't boiled down to her own thoughts , she's much smarter than that .

it's like they're at the climax of a horror movie , the one part where the main character finds out that their loved one is a killer - that's currently love & joe , except she feels like she has the upper hand in all of this , the way that the knife is so close to his throat she could puncture his skin to tear him apart . something about joe like this , easy for her to access when she wants to hunt him down , harm him like he does his victims - how beautifully ironic , isn't it ? for him to see that his loving wife isn't as scared as he thought she was , for him to see that she's capable of hurting him as much as he's capable of hurting her , in fact .

since she's got him backed up against the wall , it seems like she has the upper hand , considering the weapon in her hand , the words she's spoken playing in her head - he doesn't love her , she's like some awful regret to him , he should've killed her the moment she found who he really was , he should've done anything to get the mere existence of love quinn out of his head . but did he ?

a rather bittersweet chuckle comes from her lips as she listens to his words , the knife almost stumbling out from her hand , but she keeps its' grasp . " i've seen the way you've looked at that goddamned librarian , joe ! it's like you're waiting to replace me with her , isn't it ? " it's the way her voice seems to falter at her own question , like she knows it to be true - that he's waiting to kill her off to chase marienne for his happy ending that wasn't with her , that would never be with her because love is too insane for him , because she's like a mirror of all of his bad ideas .

she can hear her own mother's words in her head , ringing like it's some absolute fucking nightmarish alarm that she can't get rid of , it seems .

everything about them is unraveling , coming undone because they were never meant to be together , because their loving relationship was a sham ( ... ) or so she thinks . love wants the love that she's never had , the one that died along with her first husband , the one that she'll never get back . her hand trembles , eyes wavering his way as she's letting out a scoff , showing off a more weakened side of herself , although , love knows that she's not weak , that she can take him down no matter what he tries to say . " i saw you , joe ! saw ( ... ) past tense , " she goes , her voice just one more octave as a tear seems to fall down her cheek , wanting to keep her guard up . " it was only a fantasy because i thought you loved me , too . because i thought we'd be happy with our lives in this fucking town ! not that it matters because you can't resist looking at another person when your wife is standing right next to you ! "

once his voice booms along the walls of the kitchen , love flinches like he's hit her or something , but joe would never put his hands on her , he'd never . that's his wife right there - the mother of his son , henry . " fuck you ! " she yells back , defending her own self because she wants to fight back , because she wants to prove to him that she's not as frail as he thinks that she truly is . love is spiraling , she doesn't know why , but she's fucking spiraling - the more that they have this exchange , the more she feels like she's going deeper & deeper , down this fucking hole that she knows she wouldn't be able to get herself out of or so it seems . her eyes glance at his hand along her wrist , knowing that he's trying to coax the knife out of her grip , however , she's not going down that easily , she can't .

as he squeezes onto her wrist roughly , love's eyes give him this sharpened expression - shaking her head slowly , she can't let him win , not this time . " let my fucking wrist go , joe . or so help me god , i will cut through your neck . "

𖥸 ─ I’m not a monster – I’m not. I did what I had to do, that’s it! Those who were disposed of deserved it. But Love, she doesn’t see it that way – she thinks I get fucking hard slamming heads in tubs, in strangling, in slicing a throat. It’s messy work and it isn’t fucking fun. I’m angry – I’m fucking pissed off – but I’m not. A. Monster. I see darkness at my peripheral, I see red in my immediate field of sight – I feel like my whole head is on the verge of bursting like a maggot infected wound – but I am not. A. Monster. Fuck you for thinking that, Love. Fuck. You.

Because I see it in her eyes. I see it in the way she glares at me the way the knife glares. She wants to stab me and get away from me. This is all her doing – this is her fault! Madre Linda was her idea. THIS was her idea!

You don't love me , joe!

Now I’m the one with the glare, with my jaw so fucking tight my gums have turned white and muscles ripple along. you never did . nor do you even want me , i know it . i've seen the way you've looked –

“Go on, finish what you wanna say, Love”, I growl.

Am i that replaceable to you ? is this replaceable to you ?

I do believe she wants to be in that cage. I put them all in there but I never put Love in it. I almost killed her in it (I’m pregnant!) but I never locked her inside. She thinks the women catching my heart all end up in the cage? Is she that jealous? “I thought you saw me”, I sneer after that laughter I barely recognized as mine ebbs into a snarl, “– isn’t that what you said? That you were really seeing me while I was busy looking at a goddamn fantasy? Who’s living a fantasy now?”

i don't want to be in that glass box , not that thing where others have died in , joe . i don't want to be in anything , except for free - out of this nightmare scenario

“THEN FUCKING ACT LIKE IT!” I shout. I never do that... I always so calm, which is why when I raise my voice at last, bar that laugh, I know it’s a shock, a surprise. Good. I hear the tremble in her voice – it hurts, it breaks me, but fuck, she needs a reality check and I’m slowly losing my own grip. My patience is not as sharpened as Love – I can be a bit explosive I suppose – “Enough”, I hiss under my breath and suddenly my hand is wrapped around Love’s wrist. It’s small in my large hand, my fingers draped and curled with ease – and I squeeze. Hard. “Let the fucking knife go”, I warn, tone shifting to a throaty low: “Now.”