#it just happens to coincidentally fit with a chapter i had planned

[enmi-land]

and before you ask: no, you don’t get to know what they’re about!! 🤭 but they are requests, so do whatever you want with that information ✨✨

[quaranmine]

Things that Could've Happened in Firewatch AU but Didn't

Hi, and welcome to scrapped plot points. This fic had a general direction from the beginning but a lot of details came together as I went.

🔥First of all, I've posted the discord message before, but I actually originally envisioned it as "ambigious" whether Mumbo was dead or alive. This was scrapped the moment I tried to determine HOW one makes that ambiguous. think about it for a moment.

🔥I've also stated this before but I initially wanted this to just be a string of vignettes throughout the summer with no real plot or resolution to it. This is where I got a lot of early ideas for Grian and Scar hangout/character relationship development back in Dec 2022 (Scar and Top Gun, Scar's job as a door to door salesman, etc) (the salesman idea was actually from one of my tumblr asks, thanks!)

🔥Originally I....had more of a human conflict present? I actually struggle to remember some of what I planned because it got scrapped so quickly once I thought it through more. But you can still see references to it in my notes:

(last one is from first draft of chapter 11, one year prior to the final draft.) There's??? so much conflict implied here. Grian gets CHASED! people BROKE into his tower! someone STOLE THE BIKE! drama!!

I scrapped it because it was too unbelievable. Specifically, it was unbelievable for this plot line. I still had the same "truth" to the plot present—that there was no conspiracy and Mumbo had just died after being injured in a place outside the initial search zone. All this other behavior would have just been red herrings from people who had nothing to do with Mumbo's disappearance.

A lot of this also very reminiscent of the actual Firewatch game type of intrigue. I was always heading to a similarly anti-climatic ending (aka no overarching conspiracy) as the original game. But this did not fit. Because...why would someone else do this? They wouldn't have the same motivations as Ned Goodwin in Firewatch. It'd just be some pissed off teens/the firework couple who decided to mess with Grian to throw him off. Except they wouldn't know they were throwing him off anything, because they wouldn't know him, so it'd just be purely some third party messing with him. But I felt like real life is rarely this....malicious. I've had people go out of their way to harass me with road rage, sure. But all of this drama was scrapped because I felt it was SOOOOO unlikely for a random person to just be harassing Grian like this Just Because. It did not fit! It was so coincidental and requried people to make questionable decisions that I couldn't fit into any good framework of motive.

It was a bad idea and I'm glad I abandoned it. It might have been a good idea in a different context...but it did not fit at all here.

🔥I briefly toyed with something like what happened with Cian McLaughlin happening in this fic. Cian McLaughlin is an Irish man who went missing in Grand Teton National Park (nearly adjacent to this story's setting) in 2021. He was never found, unfortuantely. His case is notable because a woman provided a false eye witness report of seeing in a completely false location. On purpose, to be clear. She purposefully lied to the National Park Service about seeing him somewhere she didn't, while providing enough personal detail they thought it was a real report. She claimed to have done this to ensure that multiple locations were searched for him, to expand the search area, but she really just derailed over 500 hours of search time to the wrong place. It's so sad.

I was like, this is an intriguing case. What if this happened with Mumbo? What if this is why he was in a different location than the search was? Because someone falsely reported him being where he wasn't? But I faltered on it for many reasons. First of all, I felt it was kind of disrespectiful to Cian Mclaughlin and his family to blatantly draw off details of his real life disappearance in such an obvious way. It's a recent one too. This is not a cool mystery detail, this is real life and a real person and a real grieving family. Secondly, it goes back to the problem with the other issue about people interfering the case: why? You could ask why this woman interfered with Cian's case too, and that's real life. But in a fictionalized setting—why? What would it add, when I know that the truth of what happened to Mumbo was going to be mundane anyway? Why introduce this bizarre secondary plot element just to distract Grian and the reader? It could have just been a mistaken report, not a purposeful one, but it's just derail the story in a very unsatisfying way.

In the end the only remaining trace of this idea is Grian in chapter 5 (?) saying that someone had seen Mumbo at the Cloud Lake Trail and provided an eyewitness report. Which, for the record, is supposed to be an accurate account—he did go there, his car was there, and he did get spotted there at the beginning of his trip. He just diverged from the trail at a later point.

🔥I meant to do a fun little formatting thing and have Mumbo's past through processes and actions be intercut with Grian's present-day processes in Chapter 11. Or to put that more clearly, when Grian was running down the mountain away from the fire (but before he saw Mumbo) I wanted his choices to be contrasted with the ones Mumbo made. It would've been a stylistic choice. Mumbo's paragraphs might have been in italics, and I toyed with doing a right alignment instead of left alignment so it'd really stand out. The idea was to show how their two independent thought processes converged and led them to the same point on the mountain at different times. It would've been the only time in the story we ever got something from Mumbo's POV.

I scrapped this because I hated what I'd written in Mumbo's sections and never got around to rewriting it or adding it in retroactively. I think it was a cool idea but I did not pull it off. I don't the the fic is worse for it, though. I think it does a good enough job leading the reader into that parallel without spelling it out Quite that much. I also kind of....like that Mumbo never has his own voice in this story to explain his own decisions. It's sad, but it's part of the story.

🔥I seriously did not always have the main wildfire at the end of the story in the plot. I actually initially had Scar just coaxing Grian to tell him where he was, or allowing the search and rescue to come find him. And that would've been it, the search and rescue coming.

🔥Or.....when I toyed with whether or not Grian and Scar should meet at the ending of the story, I also considered an alternate ending where Scar came to Grian to rescue him. That he reported Grian's location to SAR, and then came himself. I scrapped this because it made no sense logistically. It's all well and good for there to be a dramatic scene of Scar coming to Grian's aid and them meeting for the first time in person. But Scar is miles away. And more importantly, Scar has an established disability and chronic pain that limits the trails he walks on. He specifically says he hasn't explored trails too far from his lookout because it'll pretty much wipe all his spoons for ages. (well, he doesn't say spoons because this is the 80s, but that was the meaning.) I was like okay. He's not only far from the trail but he's literally physically unable to make it there in time and one thing I'm NOT doing in this fic is undermining his disability (especially since I already had to make him a ~certain~ degree abled in order to do the job.) So I kept him in his spot. I think it added more tension anyway, because it's such a special kind of horror he experienced having to witness everything go down but be unable to help Grian other than over the radio.

🔥Speaking of the wildfire, I had a version where Grian escaped it for an embarassingly long time. Like until January or even February still (of this year!) The idea was the Grian outran it and then got found. A lot of this was just that I didn't want to figure out how to write him surviving a wildfire. I knew it'd be difficult and straddle the line of unbelievable. I wanted to take the easier way out of writing the scene.

But honestly...there was no way else the scene could've gone. I spelled it out in chapter 8 with my rather blatant foreshadowing—you CAN'T outrun a wildfire. I mean, I guess in good circumstances with good wind and experience you probably could. Afterall, hotshot crews and wildland firefighters are able to get in and around the fires without (normally) casualties all the time. But fires move faster than people. WAY faster. It'd just be a disappointing conclusion for Grian to somehow be the Super Lucky One who somehow skipped being in the danger. No, I had to follow through with what I'd set up and just go for it.

🔥I also entertained an idea of him sheltering in the overhang with Mumbo. It would've played out nearly like the fire played out in the main fic, the only difference was with him. It was the most "meaningful" option for shelter (since the other options were no shelter, and random shelter.) He would've been surviving death right next to Mumbo, who didn't survive. I could have made that very poignant if I wanted.

But I disliked this because I'd already written the part about Grian deciding to move on. I felt that bit of the scene was really key for the message of the story as a whole.

I wanted Grian to make the CHOICE to live instead of just refuse to move and survive anyway. You know? Grian, in-universe, would have no idea what decision would lead to his survival. But as the author with the power to do what I want, I knew he was surviving all my options. So my options were: 1) easy scene to write where he survives but doesn't experience much danger, 2) hard scene where he survives and makes the conscious decision to live and move forward, and 3) medium difficulty scene where he survives but was still emotionally stuck-in-place.

(Above: some random notes I typed about the finale scene options on my phone, in a situation where I should NOT have been writing fic notes on my phone lol)

In case it's not obvious, the final scene is the second one—Grian makes that key decision to live, but still experiences the danger I've set up so that I can follow through on the tension I created.

🔥I restructured the final chapter so that there was a bigger gap in time between Scar and Grian talking about Everything and Grian arriving. I initially had it when Grian essentally just came...and then like 5 mins later they were laying all that out while Grian sat on the bed. It just made the vibes of the scene Off. It was too quick, not satisfying. So I kept most of the same dialogue and stuff and structured it into a chapter where Grian meets Scar, and they kind of spend a mostly chill afternoon talking and hanging out until they delve into the Deep Stuff later that night while stargazing (let's be real you can never go wrong with stargazing for a deep scene.) I felt it was likely they'd kind of pretend everything was "normal" at first until they were more comfortable in each other's prescence. Also, we ALL know the middle of the night is when the real stuff comes out lmao. You can see my cut up and reused pieces of the original chapter version in the indented italic parts of chapter 12. I liked some of those interactions so I wanted to preserve them somehow even though the final chapter was structured in a way that cut it out.

So far, that's all of the major plot differences that I can think of at the moment. Some of the other elements (like the mistaken permit situation) came into play after I already had chapters uploaded, but I don't have a concrete idea of what might have happened in their place. Chapter 9 really evolved and got out of hand as I wrote it, but I knew from a few chapters earlier that he was going to do Something that got him fired. So I was able to refine the specific actions when I got there, since I just knew it had to be major and outlandish in the name of getting more information.

I had most of this story worked out ahead of time. But there were absolutely major changes that happened during the course of writing it. I was just fortunate that my intense outlining and focus on it ensured that I never encountered a situation where I had to make changes that majorly affected an already uploaded chapter. Yay for sticking close to the general outline even when the details were in question!

If I think of anything else, I'll reblog this post. :)

[otherworldseekers]

A moment of agreement

So! I didn't have anything I could think of that worked for this. But this morning I happened to to get the motivation to work on my ARR wip and it coincidentally fits this prompt! So consider this a combination answer/ WIP Wednesday offering. It's just after the last bit I posted of chapter 6 of Something's Gotta Give.

“Oho, so here you are, Warrior of Light,” said the Saucer’s proprietor. “Skipping away from your duties to tryst with your lover. I had thought better of you than that.”

“He’s not my-” Severia reddened. There was no point. It looked exactly like what he said it did. 

“Your little party is not a duty of hers,” Nero interjected, his tone acidic. “Certainly not if you are going to thrust her into situations without her permission. You overstepped, old man.”

“She agreed to assist in my efforts to raise money for the needy,” Godbert said.

“She agreed to nothing. You bullied her into attending your gala,” Nero shot back. “And you’re treating her like a marketing gimmick.”

“You act as though I’m doing this for my own benefit. The orphans-

“I don’t give a damn about your orphans.”

“You wouldn’t, would you, Nero tol Scaeva? Considering you’re the man who made many of them. Oh yes, it wasn’t difficult to find out your identity. What you are doing here with the Warrior of Light, however, is still a matter I am deeply curious about,” said Godbert as he faced Nero with calm confidence. 

Nero opened his mouth to retort, but paused when he felt a small hand on his arm. Severia gave him a smile that she hoped conveyed that he was grateful for his defense of her, but he was clearly making things worse at this point. She steadied herself and turned to Godbert. 

“His presence here, at this gala, is your own fault,” Severia countered. “His presence with me in Eorzea is Scion business and none of yours. But I think we can come to an agreement, Mr. Manderville. I will participate in your auction. You will keep your nose out of my actions and affairs afterward.”

Godbert stared at Severia with a calculated expression, but she didn’t back down. “Very well, Warrior of Light, I will agree to your proposal. On one condition.”

“What is that?”

“No tricks. I want you to be seen dancing with someone other than your Garlean paramour,” he said with a growl.

“He’s not my-” Severia sighed. “Fine.”

Godbert nodded. “I’ll expect you back in the ball room momentarily.” He exited through the balcony doors, leaving them open.

Nero laid a hand on her shoulder. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” said Severia with more confidence than she felt. “I have a plan.”

Thanks so much for sending me an ask! 🥰

[carmenized-onions]

Oh my onions ,

This chapter was the first thing I saw when I opened my phone this morning and I immediately started reading cause when I tell u I have been waiting for it like crazy. I took a break and kept reading after my statistics class (master’s thesis kicking my ass thank u). 

It was such a relief of the tension in the previous chapters, some honest moments between Carm and Tony and also the reality and craziness of their family and faks being around. 

I am so curious to see how the DD and kids dynamic will unfold cause in season 3 I bawled my eyes out in the ice chips episode and I was so happy Sug is taking those baby steps towards redefining her relationship with her mom now that she herself is one. It would be nice to see some cathartic moments here too(obviously given the complexity of the relationships cause lord knows it’s fucked to the core). 

HELL YOU ARE MAKING ME MISS CHRISTMAS NOW I KINDA WISH WE HAD LIKE A WEEK TILL CHRISTMAS IRL CAUSE I HATE THE SUMMER. 

cuteness baby Michaela and Tony (hohoho make her and Carmy babysit pls pls) 

RICHIE THE MAN THAT U ARE. he totally is an old fashioned in my brain so I get the whiskey and peaches thought Tony u are right. 

Also …. Sydney baby I can sense the tension…. I see u getting off the floor … I SEE U NOT SAYING IT BACK SO …. 

Also side note I always listen to music while reading this to set the cinematic vibe yk yk and today I happened to listen to father John Misty’s “I love u honey bear” and “everything is free” and COINCIDENTALLY they match the vibe quite perfectly make sure to check them out if that’s your vibe, I feel the lyrics to these 2 songs were kinda fitting to this chapter (are they my personal soundtrack that played in this episode ?! Yes they are !) 

Can’t wait for next one u never fail! Can’t wait for the Christmas special if u will. ALSO 14 K I know u said for both our sanities it’s getting shorter but I’m so glad I saw a double digit no pressure my love Heheheheheh !!!! I gotta stop yapping stay safe till next one :)))))

AHHH I hope the next one isn't shit, we're dropping in like idk whenever I finish answering these last couple asks that i've let sit in my inbox for DECADES (a couple weeks). If I failed this time, no one tell me. Let's all let onion live in ignorance okay. a handful of times i was like "what if I simply restarted" at like 8k in.

But I've finished my final draft edits and I think it's fine. I think it's a very necessary chapter. It's like how I felt about Doing Too Much back in the day, but now that one's like, one of my faves in terms of how much it actually establishes--- ANYWAYS WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT let's talk about your talkings

I hope your thesis went/is going well!! It's been so fucking long where is everyone on their life projects. Me personally I'm applying to OTHER FUCKING JOBS. Who wants to pay me to write CK full time? I'm so fr.

Chapter 14 will always be that girl when it comes to tension breaking. Like christ. Two Steps Back is my favourite chapter to reread because I love Mikey and Chip and I also think I am the most in my bag when I'm writing sad shit but Chapter 14 is always nice when I'm havin a ROUGH DAYY

I hope. When I do eventually cover DD. Which is tragically for me, quite soon, that I do it fucking any justice. I'm very thankful for the compliments comparing me to canon but MAN if anything is a test of my ability to understand these characters, Donna is my final fucking exam. I am so bad. At writing moms. Just in general. Ice Chips was truly like my favourite episode of the season too, so I hope I can do all the fucking insane dynamics of adulthood blended with motherhood justice. I can barely do them justice in my own life, YKNOW??? man.

Me and my roommates take christmas so fucking seriously. As we have for the past... 3 years. And now that this is our first christmas living together again, I truly start gift planning now. did someone say psychotic? NO. i just PUT THE DATES OF EVERY SALE OF EVERY IMPORTANT RELEVANT RETAILER IN MY PERSONAL CALENDAR. I'M NORMAL. FUCK YOU I'M NORMAL!! what i'm trying to say is, it's christmas whenever you decide it's christmas.

Ohhhh Michaela Blurb. Someone request it someone request it. I so hope in S4 they let that man be a good Uncle. I know he avoids family like the plague but come on man. its a BABY!!!!!

I hope everyone loves the drink menu I have planned, or I mean--- Sorry, the drink menu chip has planned. Jerimovich you whiskey peach bitch da MAN YOU ARE!!!

It's s o hard to not write like a little bit of tension with Syd. Like I can't not. It's so in my brain I cannot get squidink out of there someone call the police dont actually

i love. when an indie bitch enters my domain. i love father john misty!! I can so see those songs. There's a lot of songs I adored for this chapter. I think my most probably unagreed with would be I Like It, by DeBarge--- Listen, I know it's so cheery-- But that's exactly it. That is so Song That's Playing At The Wedding Outside The Bathroom While We Full Breakdown In Here. HEAR ME OUT OKAY

We are,,, at 15k for this chap. Chap 14 was 14k,,,, I feel like Chap 16 is not going to be 16k (but rather, horrifically, more), but it'd be cute to continue the pattern. I'll attempt to reduce myself.

Also:

I WISH THEY MADE A CHICAGO JOKE IN CANON, esp with Carmen's drive by about Musicals in ep2? Come on man. Chicago's (the city) like. top 3 of american cities for theatre. what the fuck. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ARTS???

i love chicago (the musical) (maybe also the city idk), so I had to give a little credit. And frankly, while writing that bit, I watched the moment back--- He did KIND OF RUN INTO IT, LIKE I HONESTLY THINK THAT WAS KIND OF AN ACCIDENT

anyways i'm gonna shut the fuck up now chapter out soon love you bye gotta answer more asks!!

[fellow-traveller]

Alright. Finally have the time and peace of mind to talk about

CDDH Chapter 15

I drafted a write-up on it and it ended up being 5 pages long.

Strap in, boys and gals!

(under the cut, mainly because I’m gonna debunk something the fans had started to believe in and I’m positive it’s not gonna make them happy)

---

Okay, before I start...this review won’t be in chronological order. I tried, but failed. I’m sorry.

So it’s going to be a little convoluted, but I hope I managed to get the ideas and other things I had in mind about this chapter across. I’ll start with the heavy thoughts, then simply talk about the scenes, and finally I’ll jump to the debunking.

---

This second last chapter is more Hol Horse-centric, which is, I believe, the actual climax of the story. I know a lot of fans saw CDDH as a spin-off for Part 4 Josuke (and even Kakyoin), but from the very beginning, it’s actually Hol Horse’s. Josuke is really just a secondary protagonist. So it’s fitting to end the series with a conclusion to part of Hol Horse’s story.

I believe the scene with Ryoko threatening Hol Horse with a gun is the peak of their own development in this story. Ryoko having to prove to herself that she was no longer the one to blame for her cousin’s death, and Hol having to prove to himself that he was no longer the one that blames everyone else for every single mishap happening.

And I have a feeling Hol knew she was struggling with that; most likely from how shaky her hands were when she held the gun (obviously, surely, Hol would know how one would handle guns, right?). She was, in a way, doing what he had done so many times before – blaming someone else for something he didn’t do to make himself feel better. And when he couldn’t find anything to blame on, he’d run away.

Which is interesting if we tie this to his “Mr No.2” principle. Hol’s reason to be second most likely and partially stemmed by his tendency to blame others. When things did not go his way, he could at least blame his partner for it. When J. Geil was killed by Kakyoin and Polnareff, Hol basically had no one to blame for the loss, so he ran away. When he teamed up with Boingo, he blamed the kid when Thoth’s prediction wasn’t going as planned, even if the mistake was pretty much coincidental and was a product of misinterpretation.

(it also kinda ties with the Emperor tarot card, and I’ll try to explain it below)

In CDDH, Hol did want to blame Dio for everyone’s death. Kakyoin’s death more so, even if it really wasn’t his fault. But Hol was Dio’s agent, making Dio indirectly his partner. And now that Dio was dead, naturally Hol should run away.

But because CDDH is literally Hol Horse’s redemption story, this negative part of his personality has to be eradicated.

And so we were blessed with this puppy eyes look that Hol Horse gave Ryoko after he realise running away was no longer an option he should have and the only right, good and correct way to everything was being truthful to himself and others. The look that Ryoko instantly equated to Kakyoin’s during her encounter with his soul, because like Hol, Kakyoin too was blaming others for the misfortunes he experienced throughout his life, and ran away from the life he knew in Japan for the adventure to Egypt to make himself feel better.  

It works, eventually. I mean...no one should say ever say no to that calm and accepting cowboy face.

---

I also find it kinda interesting that, all the talk of Hol Horse “respecting women” is basically just him being a good person. A genuinely good person, who doesn’t want any rewards of any kind whatsoever for saving someone’s life. I’m just guessing his tendency to save women more mainly lies in his Emperor trait, but there could be a possible backstory to it. I may be reading too much in it (plus, I forgot what the Japanese text were for this excerpt to properly look into it) but I have a feeling the “healing after being hurt” wasn’t in a physical context for Hol.

It could be his broken pride, his low self-esteem and cowardice, the breaking of the set of rules he had given himself...but there’s also the possibility that it traced back to a past that was yet to be fully elaborated. Perhaps we’ll see it in the novel? Who knows.

(it’s a nice quote, btw)

Anyway, I digressed.

Hol being a good person goes back to the interpretation of the Emperor card that is already “fated” to be how he was, is and will be as a person.

(again, disclaimer: I am not an expert in the Major Arcana. I just happen to read a lot on it. But if I am wrong in any way, feel free to correct me)

So, Emperor, first and foremost is a symbol of structure, rules, systems, knowledge and paternal figure. The absolute male ego, the ruler of the world (which is interesting, because Hol was about to rule over Dio, who held The World), the ultimate power and authority. This is on top of the traits Hol mentioned in this page, which signifies control.

All in all, good traits to have for a good cowboy.

In a person, Emperor represents a strategic thinker that often makes sure the plans they planned worked. Which brings me back to the part about Hol blaming others and running away, when his plans to kill the Crusaders AND Dio did not work. Emperor desire to create happiness and peace, foster honour and discipline, not only for himself but for everyone around him.

Including the women who were still alive among the dead ones used as Dio’s food, whom Hol had nothing to do with their life choices that had them ended up in a vampire’s mansion. True, Hol could have just leave them there. It wasn’t his business.

But he made it his business. Why? Because he’s the Emperor. He has to bring forth happiness to the people around him, he has to honour them and keep their honour, and he most certainly has to live up to his own set of rules – “to be the nicest guy in the world when it comes to the ladies”.

After all, an emperor’s job is to rule, as much as he is to serve his subjects. He follows the calling of the crown he wears above all else.

Emperor being about control is also considered the ultimate improvement that Hol needed. Out of the many Emperor traits, control is something Hol still wavered in, most notably the control on the direction of his life. But in this chapter, Hol choosing to not blame himself let alone anyone else for what happened to Kakyoin, and not running away from the question either, was literally him taking control of the direction of his life. Just like how he takes control of the trajectory of his bullets.

And with control will come more positive traits for Hol, including acting rationally for the greater good, having strong determination to reach a goal, and being a strong leader.

These are all upright significance of the Emperor card. Hol Horse used to be the reversed – inability to handle difficult situations, the rules he created and the plans he planned no longer worked, and  ultimately forgetting his call to be the good person he was supposed to be out of fear of losing – before he took the stand to betray Dio. I guess it’s correct to say that the reversed traits that Hol used to have became fully upright then, and it’s proven with the flashback in this chapter.  

---

So, Hol admitted that he was Dio’s servant who was sent to kill the Crusaders including Ryoko’s cousin (and also admitting that he was no match against them – something he had been very truthful about since his first fight), and I believe it is really the correct thing to do on Hol’s part.

I do feel the turning point of Ryoko dropping the gun and helping Hol up proved the idea that...it’s okay to be a coward, for whatever reason one can think of. I feel like that’s part of Hol’s character as well. Too many times I’ve seen fans making fun of Hol for being a coward (mostly light-hearted, of course), but comedy aside, I do think it’s a good trait to have in difficult situations. It makes you survive longer, and be more understanding towards the people around you. It sums up Hol a lot, and it’s also a good development trait for both Kakyoins.

I particularly liked that Hol kept it simple and told her that the Crusaders saved the world. For someone who wasn’t there and not understanding how tremendous the task to defeat Dio was, simply saying the Crusaders – or Noriaki Kakyoin, for her sake – had saved everyone on Earth, is more than enough.

And Thoth did that kind of prediction again. So the “shooting Hol in the head” was just the old bullet wound from the last time he had his face shot at in SDC opening up. I’m just guessing that the stress of hanging by the ledge on one hand and having a gun he cannot control being shoved to his face had caused that.

But after 10 years? I don’t think Hol led a stress-free life after the events in SDC. Continuous stress can make a wound not heal properly after all. But damn, 10 YEARS...

;-; if only I can hug Hol tightly, I would. Cowboy deserves all the hugs in the world.

(will Josuke help heal this old wound for good? I hope so!♥)

Also, I love this panel. Hol acting like a father, in addition to the usual Hol respecting women trope. After getting himself near to the brink of death, the way he just casually and nonchalantly took off his long jacket to give to a half-naked young woman in front of him...it seemed so natural. I truly believe Hol would protect women any chance he gets.

We will always love Hol Horse for this. Yes, we do.

Also, the whole CDDH gang ♥ Truly a great way to end the chapter. And this particular panel sure looked like a groundwork to more adventures for them (minus Josuke, maybe, he has Part 4 to be in). But even if there would be no more stories for the gang, it’s still good way to finalise the story.

Overall, strongest chapter in my opinion.

---

Talking about more adventures, apparently after the CDDH manga ends, the novel version of CDDH will be out; similar to Purple Haze Feedback and Over Heaven. I believe it’s the same story as CDDH manga, but with more details? I hope they explain a lot more on certain unexplained events (Karaiya’s grandfather, Boingo’s own demons to conquer, to name a few...) and maybe expand more on SDC from the villains’ POV, since Hol Horse’s past as Dio’s agent was heavily referenced in CDDH.

Whatever it is, I hope it gives a good read. I’m certainly buying the novel. It’s not always you get to see a minor antagonist in canon be the main protagonist in a spin-off after all...

I’m also just...liking the fact that Hol Horse no longer worked as mercenary-cum-assassin, but a private eye in CDDH.

Private Eyes by Hall and Oates...I see what you did there...♥

---

Now...on the debunking part.

I don’t know who first made the assumption on this, but whoever you are, no hate. If anyone wants to firmly stand by that theory, go ahead. You’re free to do so; that’s the beauty of fiction.

But because I try my best to tie CDDH to the canon JoJo timeline, I just have to. I’m sorry.

So, the assumption was that the ladies that Hol Horse saved from Dio’s mansion were the mothers of Giorno, Rikiel, Donatello Versus and/or Ungalo. The idea is intriguing, I know, but...

Giorno was 3-4 years old when SDC happened. Versus was 1-2. The most I can take are Rikiel and Ungalo since they were born in 1988 (SDC’s timeline is 1988-89), but that’s quite a stretch.

We know Hol Horse was an outsourced mercenary hired by Dio to be an agent, and was not recruited into his cult-like group via his charisma (like Enyaba, Enrico Pucci, Mariah and Terence D’Arby were, to name a few). I’m not sure if I can provide much evidence on this, other than the fact that out of all Agents of Dio, he was one of those who were not given a fleshbud (it’s common ground that Dio gave this to his followers if they had a strong sense of nobility and he felt like they will cross him one day) and the only one willingly betray Dio. Plus, there’s a microscopic scene in the anime where Hol Horse was showcasing his Stand’s ability to Dio and Enyaba, which, in my opinion, he didn’t have to if he was already in the cult of Dio.  

Which brings us back to the timeline. The only time and space where Hol Horse would be in Egypt, in Dio’s mansion, would be the time he was hired between 1987 and 1989 (1987 was presumably the year Dio started recruiting allies after receiving a Stand). So if the women were to be the ladies who conceived Dio’s children, they had to at least be saved in 1984 or 1986. Hol Horse wasn’t even there in the picture then.

Another reason I don’t really see the ladies conceiving Dio’s children – at least not the ones we already know – is the fact that Dio lets Giorno’s mother live back in 1984, a year after Dio reawakened. There is a possibility that she started off as Dio’s food, but ended up intriguing Dio enough to let her go and have his child. Or she was, like Mr Nijimura, a part of Dio’s cult for the money.

(which made me wonder if Hol Horse was in it for the money too, before Dio noticed he had a Stand and recruited him as an agent instead of a mere cult member...it’s a good possibility to think about!)

So yeah. The ladies are definitely not the mothers to Giorno, Donatello Versus, Rikiel and Ungalo. They are just there to tell you how Hol Horse REALLY was; the cowboy who willingly placed his neck under a raised guillotine to be a genuinely good person, even if circumstances did not allow him to be one.

However...I’d be lying if I say I don’t wish the three ladies Hol saved will reappear again and meet Hol to thank him for his help. I hope that happens in the upcoming CDDH novel.

Additionally...goddamn, Hol Horse is FUCKING STRONG. He managed to carry 3 grown women while running...just...wow.

Also, I’d like to believe Hol finished most of his cash during the SDC event to pay for this taxi driver. He was left with mostly coins, after all, and those too went to Boingo, just in case the kid got lost.

---

Finally, please ignore my fangirling over this panel of Hol Horse remembering the Crusaders, and Polnareff’s goofy smile was part of his memory whereas the others are just...killed and dead.

As a huge HolPol/PolHol enjoyer, let me have a moment with this one ;-;♥♥♥  

---

Can’t wait for the final chapter, and certainly can’t wait for the novel!

--- 

Special thanks to WNMY translators for translating this chapter! You all did wonderfully :D

[fangs-claws-paws]

Silken Cell

1, 2, 7, and 15

From this ask game

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

A couple different things inspired me to write this fic. Frustration at the lack of mpreg content regarding specific content I liked, such as armor/gear with an emphasis on helmets as at the time all I could find was supernatural or teen wolf mpreg fics, and I only read them because I would just replace the characters with characters I thought of while I was reading them out of sheer desperation. Also I was frustrated how the male character who got mpregged would suddenly act like a stereotype of pregnant women, and that bothered me because I felt/still feel that being pregnant doesn't automatically make you act like that. Also one fic I read really peeved me, in that the first chapter was the standard rape/non-con and I didn't mind, but the second chapter really wanted us to feel bad that the victim didn't want the attention of the rapist afterwards. It was just so odd and really rubbed me the wrong way that I started making up A Silken Cell in my head as my own bizarre train of thought regarding what I liked in a fic that focused on rape. One other factor that contributed to me posting it was my then boyfriend happened to share the same mpreg kink as me, so I'd end up sexting him random blurbs of either canon characters I wanted mpregged, or an extremely rough version of A Silken cell. He encouraged me to start writing A Silken Cell and helped proof-read some of the early chapters. Unfortunately most of those blurbs no longer exist both because he changed phone numbers and I changed phones so any texts have been lost, and the rest were posted in the text chat for Teamspeak that no longer exists.

2: What scene did you first put down?

Honestly the first scene I wrote was in fact chapter 1. Writing stuff out of order never really works for me tbh, it just gives my brain instant gratification and then it never wants to work on the rest of it. I have a couple fics stuck as disjointed pieces cuz of trying that method. Now technically the first scene that I ever made in my head was an alternate path for Baldarich that I didn't go with in the end. In that Baldarich was a Blood Angel instead of a Dark Angel, and while he was also killed by Ansovald instead of being for aborting his children it was because the Blood Angel kept having miscarriages. I didn't go with this both because Blood Angels have the Black Rage, which I feel is a recipe for disaster in the harem, and I liked a more resistant harem member to contrast with the submission of Caedmon and Azad.

7: Where did the title come from?

The title I came up with just based on what I felt described Caedmon's situation with enough brevity to sound interesting, he is trapped in what amounts to an extremely fancy prison cell. It was only a couple weeks after posting it and googling the title that I realized there was a song that went by the same name, and while it certainly fits the vibe of the fic, that's mostly coincidental

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Honestly one of the biggest things I've learned is my brain can hold onto the story for a shockingly long amount of time without ever touching it. As I recalled what I wanted to do after my 2-3 year hiatus as clearly as when I had just put it down. Which is extremely funny as - fun fact - there is no written outline or planning sheets for this fic, all the information is stored in my brain and nowhere else. So if I were to somehow lose my memory, there would be no information as to the direction I had planned the fic to go in. Might come back to bite me in the ass, but we'll see.

[deltaclaws]

Monkie Kid: Creature's Comforts, Chapter 2- Non-Potable Nonsense

A chapter that ended up way bigger than planned and took me way longer than I liked to cut down and finish, whoo! Pop over to AO3 if you'd prefer to read it there!

[Prev. chapter]

___________________

“Sooo,” Wukong started as he hopped off his cloud, landing with a disgusting ‘squelch’ at the bottom of the pathway up to his hut, “That could’ve been worse.” He turned back and gave a forced smile to his student, meanwhile tugging off his sopping wet scarf that had been choking him for most of the ride back to Water Curtain Cave.

“Wuh-worse?” MK echoed- landing with an equally gross ‘squit’ thanks to waterlogged shoes. He flipped back his once-fluffy fringe that had been laid flat against his eyes to send an incredulous stare to his mentor. “I dropped us in the ocean. F-for like, the second time!” he added past chattering teeth, taking a moment to wring out his tail.

Monkey King offered a half-shrug as he tilted his head away. “Yeah well, this time,” he counted off on one hand, “It was an accident, you didn’t lose your stuff, and!” he rebuked, holding up a finger as he slung his poor scarf over a nearby branch that promptly snapped under the weight, “We didn’t end up at Ao Guang’s palace. I consider that a win.” the stone monkey finished cheerfully. He sat himself on a blissfully warm rock and began taking his boots off. To no surprise, they were full of sea water, and one very confused shrimp.

MK huffed an annoyed breath through his nose as he plopped his duffel down to shrug off his jacket. “It wh-wouldn’t have happened if I could control my, myuhuh,” He stuttered, nose wrinkling and mouth hanging open. He turned away in time, avoiding splattering Wukong with spit as he let out a rather adorable sneeze, accompanied by a light show. The small ‘ka-chew’ did not fit the “drowned rat” style MK had going- which is, coincidentally, what he turned into after the cloud of magic dissipated.

Monkey King was making sure to be a better mentor for MK. Part of that included biting the inside of his cheek to keep from letting out a snort of very inappropriate laughter as he watched his poor, small, sick student wriggle out from under his discarded jacket. Once he was free of his wet confines, MK checked over his new form, and let out a high pitched groan of indignation as he slapped his tiny rat feet over his tiny rat eyes. “Two years spent learning how to use my 72 transformations, and I finally turn into a rat after I SNEEZE?! ” yelled rat MK.

Unbidden, a “haHAA! ” shot out of his mouth faster than he could stifle it, and Wukong quickly turned away and shoved his fist against his face.

“Aa-ha-hm!” he coughed, “Think I, euh, got some se-hee water in my throat!” was all he could muster beyond his horribly disguised giggles, daring not to even glance at his successor until he was changed back. Monkey King could feel two beady eyes trying to bore holes into his back as he did his best to not laugh.

It wasn’t funny! Absolutely not! His tail swishing behind him as his shoulders quaked meant nothing.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw MK shift back to his monkey self, picking up his belongings as he stood up. “ Nooooo, go on, Monkey King, laugh at me.” MK groused as he swung his duffel  back over his shoulder. Wukong’s body only shook harder. “It's toooootally fine to laugh at your successor’s misery.”

“Who said-” he cleared his throat of the last remnants of his giggle fit, while setting his boots next to him to dry out in the sun. He turned to MK finally, giving his most sincere yet lying-through-his-teeth grin to his dear student. “Who said I was laughing? Told ya kid, just swallowed sea water the wrong way.” he finished nonchalantly as he rubbed a hand under his nose.

MK responded with an “Uh-huh.” that not only didn’t sound like he was convinced, it was three times removed from sounding even remotely convinced. It almost, almost made Wukong crack up again.

To the kid’s credit, it was hard for him to stay peevish over minor things. If he didn’t know any better- which Wukong did- he would think that MK was leaning into the ribbing with his dry comment and the barest hint of a smile on his face. That uneasiness from earlier today had almost entirely faded seeing his student still in relatively high spirits.

The moment dissipated as Monkey King stood and padded up the walkway with MK falling in line, the kid’s shoes making a rhythmic plop-plop-plop as they ascended. “Since you’re my guest, and you’re sick, you get dibs on the shower, bud. I’m gonna go take a bath in the river.” The joy shining in his student’s eyes as he fist pumped was endearing.

“Yesss! Fresh, hot, not fishy wat- wait.” he stopped, one foot still in the air. “You’re taking a bath in the river? ” he balked, eyes wide.

“Uh, yeah?” Monkey King replied, like the kid had asked him if the sky was blue. “It’s clean water.”

MK’s tiny V-shaped nose scrunched up. “Uhh, not to judge you Monkey King-”

“Which you totally are,” Wukong interrupted.

“Isn’t river water still kinda dirtyyyyy?” He finished meekly, tapping his fingers together as his tail curled.

At that, Wukong got a little defensive. “Ok, a river doesn’t have nearly the same health benefits as treated water in a house, I’ll give you that, but it’s still fine to bathe in- we’re at Flower Fruit Mountain! We used river water when we were on our journey for the Samhadi Fire too, remember?” he added pedantically as he spread his arms wide.

“I mean, yeah, we did, but like,” MK stuttered, making his worn-down voice crack even more. “We still filtered it.”

Wukong’s face melted into a flat stare at that. “Kid, you chugged muddy desert water at a swindling fish demon’s outpost.”

“But we were so thirstyyy!” he moaned, tugging at the still damp fringe that hung limply at the sides of his face. “We hadn’t had water for hours! That’s completely different!”

“Ah ah, no, that proves my point.” Wukong replied smugly as he waggled a finger, turning away from MK and continuing up the steps. “We’ve been over this lesson- use the environment around you to your advantage, kiddo! That includes using fresh river water for baths.” he called over his shoulder.

“Does that also include getting sick from gross, untreated, mountain water?” MK jabbed right back.

At that provocation, Wukong continued to argue with MK over what could be considered clean enough water the rest of the short way up.

___________________

Unfortunately for MK, Monkey King was very good at arguing- he had over a thousand years of practice compared to MK’s 8 or so. It was unfair from the start. Also, y’know, loads of knowledge on just about everything. Despite that, MK still stood firm on his view of what did and didn’t make for usable bath water, even as he lost the battle.

“-and that is why non-potable doesn’t mean unusable. Anyways!” Monkey King clapped his hands together, swiftly changing the subject now that they were in his home. “You know where the bathroom is. There’s a bunch of towels for you to use in the hall closet, and a hair dryer under the sink. Try not to slip and fall while I’m out, m’kay? You don’t need a concussion on top of being ill.” his teacher added helpfully, lightly tapping his fist on the side of MK’s head.

MK let out a ‘pssh’ and playfully shoved Monkey King’s hand away. “C’mooon. I’ve had at least,” he paused to count on his fingers real quick, “10 different Big Bads smack me around, and a bunch of life or death battles that I’ve managed to walk away from in one piece. This stone-cold noggin ain’t going anywhere!” he stated proudly, also knocking his knuckles against his head.

Monkey King smiled and gave his shoulder a quick pat as he passed him to go to his room. “Let’s not push our luck anyways, bud.” he stated, sounding almost fond. MK smiled back and set to taking off his drenched footwear. “Now go shower, you’re making my house smell like a seafood market.” he said with a dismissive wave.

MK let out a reedy, affronted gasp. “Hey!” he shouted hoarsely at the back of his mentor, almost tripping out of his drowned sneakers. His only answer was a distant laugh muffled by a shutting door. Rude.

He puffed his drying- fur? He’s pretty sure it could be counted as fur now- out of his field of view so he could see long enough to grab a non-saltwater soaked outfit and his toiletries out of the duffel. He thanked his past self for his forward thinking in getting a waterproof bag for these kinds of situations.

New outfit chosen, and socks and shoes deposited outside, MK walked back down the hallway to Monkey King’s bathroom.

He knew where it was, but he’d never actually been inside. It felt strangely personal to go in when his teacher wasn’t around, despite having free run of the place when Monkey King had left last year. MK carefully creaked open the door to a darkened room, unsure of what he would see there aside from the obvious. It only took a few seconds of smoothing his hand against the nearest wall to find the light switch and flick it on. What he saw was…

Pretty basic, honestly. The floor was tiled in a color that was complimentary to the rest of the house, a couple bath mats were laid out in high traffic areas for water, the toilet, sink, and mirrored medicine cabinet were off to one side, and the shower sat on the opposite wall. MK gingerly stepped the rest of the way in and shut the door behind him. Unsurprisingly, the vague aroma of peaches hung in the air.

“Huh.” was all he could think to say at the very normal presentation. He didn’t expect anything grand- well, maybe a little lavish, like the palace he had read about in the orignal Journey to the West- but even so, seeing an average bathroom in the Monkey King’s home felt strange.

MK set his clothes and toiletries on the edge of the sink and took a moment to finally get a good look at his current state in the mirror. The monkey he saw there had a mane that was damp and sad-looking, with an equally sad red headband that had slipped down and was touching the edge of his peach-shaped marking. MK ran a hand through his hair- the monkey did too. He wrinkled his reddened nose- the monkey wrinkled his. MK pulled the goofiest expression he could think of, and the monkey in the mirror matched him perfectly.

He relaxed his face and continued staring blankly at his reflection. Each day it got a little easier to believe he was a celestial monkey, had secretly been one his entire life- yet more often than not it felt like one giant hallucination. Like the dreams he had when he was little.

It was hard not to think about who or what made him after… that, but MK knew it wouldn’t help him any to chew on big questions he didn’t have answers to. It definitely wouldn’t help get that piece of seaweed he now saw clinging to his bedraggled fluff.

Snapping back to reality, MK opened up his small travel bag and set to putting his stuff in the medicine cabinet. Inside, there were even more completely boring items one would expect to be there. As he arranged what little he brought to fit in amongst his teacher’s things, MK mused on how this felt like a sleepover.

… Wait.

His eyes widened and he shut the cabinet door, his reflection equally as shocked.

That’s what this was. He was having a sleepover- a slumber party, even, with the Monkey King, at Monkey King’s house. His definitely flawed but still super-cool teacher and friend. 

MK turned on the water and waited for it to get to the perfect temperature.

‘We’re having a sleepover,’ he thought. Possibly a week long sleepover. However long it took until he was feeling better.

He tossed his still damp clothes to the side and stepped into the cozy embrace of a hot shower.

‘We’re having a sleepover,’ he thought. They were gonna watch sooo many movies- they had to, at least one every evening.

MK washed his fur free of salt and that single piece of seaweed.

‘We’re having a sleepover,’ he thought. They needed to stock up on ALL of the sleepover snack essentials.

As he cleaned up, that train of thought ran over and over through his head, and MK daydreamed about what they could possibly do for a potentially week-long sleepover.

Five towels and an hour spent running the hair dryer later, MK was clean, fluffy, free of fish stank, and in his second favorite outfit. He bundled up his dirty clothes and put them in what he was 87% sure was the laundry hamper as he wandered back out to the main room. Monkey King wasn’t back yet, as far as he could tell, but a handful of his monkeys were sitting on the couch and taking in reruns of Chang’e’s cooking show. MK found an unoccupied spot and flopped down on the cushions, with only some annoyed chirping coming from the fuzzy couch potatoes. A slight quickly forgotten as two of them snuggled in on his still-warm body.

The hot shower had helped immensely with improving his mood and opening up his stuffy nose, but the body aches from forcefully changing had only been mitigated some. A bummer for sure, but nothing a little rest, medicine, and not coughing or sneezing under any circumstances couldn’t fix.

The ‘rest’ part of that could wait for a little bit until he knew where his teacher was.

“Do any of you guys know where Monkey King is?” MK asked the TV-tranced primates. One spared enough brain power to point at the general direction of the front door, giving out a small ‘Ah’.

MK craned his neck over the back of the couch to see no Monkey King behind them. “Mmmmmgonna take that as he’s still out.” he said to no monkey in particular. With all of his energy exhausted in trying to find his teacher for two seconds, and now fully ensnared by the gravitational combo of couch-plus-TV, MK settled in to watch Chang’e talk about Bingfen.

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 30 - thoughts.

Hello everyone!! Here we are… back again… with more notes! The behind-the-scenes, what makes me tick… or not lol.

As always, I do not recommend reading this before reading chapter 30, which you can find right over here in ao3!

Thus, these notes contain SPOILERS.

Now, without any further ado, let’s get into the details 😏

I posted this small spoiler a while ago:

and as foretold, here is a callback of that infamous chapter 12 lol. Even the “Let’s get something to eat” is worded exactly as Naoya did because I wanted to show this is some heavy case of déjà vu, even though it’s not under the same sentiment. As well as to scare y’all with the thousands of possibilities that could lead to the same results as before

Anyways, moving on 😳

Y/N doesn’t want to be there, outside of the necessary, just how Naoya was during the first time they went to the doctor, and Naoya wants to be there, and not because he is eager to learn about Y/N’s condition (although, deep inside him… very, very deep inside, he is, mostly out of his curiosity/ignorance) but rather because he wants to be with her and rekindle what they never had.

I know many were expecting something to happen between the two at this point, specifically in the communication department 😂 but let’s be real hahah Y/N is uninterested In anything that has to do with Naoyaaaa she doesn’t care, she doesn’t bother, and more specifically, she doesn’t want to interact with him (queue a song from the group I now realized most of their songs fit the story perfectly, coincidentally, my favorite one)

Their whole interaction was… hard to write down, and I guess it makes sense because it’s supposed to be frustrating, it’s supposed to be awkward. Show that their relationship is broken (beyond repair?) and everyone can see that 😅 Can you imagine seeing them at a distance and their issues are like so obvious that you're just like

The people helping them throughout they visit must've been like "uuhhh, should we leave?"

Naoya wanting to talk to Y/N was somewhat… pathetic at one point. I felt sorry for him but hey, as I said before, play stupid games win stupid prizes.

He tries to have conversations but he’s just acting… I don’t know how to say it, blindly? Delusional? Like he doesn’t get why she is being so cold towards him without bringing Naoaki—and that’s another thing that even bothered me lol Naoya is very self-conscious, his self esteem is on the ground, if not lower, he literally can’t stop thinking about his brother and his wife and wondering just what kind of things they’d do together 😂 like, I get it but come on!!! (more than I would like to admit 😭)

He's nowhere near understanding what is actually the real cause of his broken relationship, but as they continue to interact (kind of) with one another… maybe he will. Or not. That’s the interesting part that I’m looking forward to explore hehe. If there’s any redemption on Naoya’s part, is not going to be easy, and certainly I don’t think Y/N is willing to accept it right now (or at all) anyways.

I wonder how can he be redeemed? What will it take for him to finally open his eyes?

Now, moving forward to the whole medical thing.

Naoya and Y/N going to certain doctors prior the main consultation was definitely Ranta’s plan. It was something of “You need to reaffirm Y/N’s health beyond any reasonably doubt, is there anything you can do to do that?”

“The doctor did say something about getting examinations…”

And there you have it. Naoya made the call, scheduled the exams, and took Y/N. But I’m not going to say that he didn’t take her before because he forgot, in between work and having the general understanding that her issue was going to be fixed by just “waiting it out” he just… well, Naoya didn’t care about doing anything until it was beneficial for him, since he’s the kind of person to underestimate women’s health and the issues they could have. Let’s not forget he was forged in a misogynistic household so... 😭

Also, I’m not sure if there are certain labs that process your results in matter of hours lol since the earliest I’ve seen is… aa few hours, later that day if you’re there as soon as they open, but who knows?? Money makes the world go round haha. I actually had to go to the doctor a few weeks prior so everything was fresh 😎 I hope that even when time was overlooked, the rest was accurate 😂

From there, Y/N.

Y/N is… healthy. As healthy as she can be. Hormonally I think that’s a bit difficult to find out (and considering that Naoya was doing everything quickly, as well as the doctor and the Zen’in clan not interested in giving her “treatment” for it…) which is why the doctor was a bit curt when it comes to responding Naoya’s question. As well as trying to fill out another agenda.

It’s just putting Y/N in a stickier situation, but at the same time, gives her more time to stay away from Naoya, and get rescued by Hinata on the process. Had the doctor said she was fertile by some reason… ugh. Nope. Or not, because Naobito also gave them a timeline to act if their marriage was to continue, or in Y/N’s case, her life. (Please don’t ask me about times hahahahahah)

However you look at it, they're on the short end of the stick. Y/N is just in the shorter end. (Naoya consoling himself with the fact that at least she won't be with Naoaki in one of those alternatives is nasty. get rid of him, please)

I guess we could say that it would make sense Y/N was healthy. She’s taken the medication the doctor prescribed her, as well as stopped taking anything that might alter her hormonal profile or whatever. And in the sense of her wounds, she’s abstained from doing anything that might worsen that situation, thus, she healed rather quickly… let’s say that her health predicament is a combination of a rather healthy disposition, and well, maybe something having to do with her impressive ascendancy 👀?

We all knew that, however, the doctor and Naoya didn’t and I find it atrocious how they’re scrutinizing her for it.

Writing how Naoya was there while the ultrasound was being performed on Y/N JUST TO SEE IF HE WOULD FIND A FETUS OMG that was super infuriating and demeaning. I was just… UGH instead of wondering if she was ok, if there was a way to support her, Mr. Delusion was thinking about Naoaki and his wife!!! Kajgakgkajghkajgvhjka AND THE WAY THAT HE LISTENED CLOSELY TO THE DOCTOR’S INSTIGATION TO SEE IF SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH??? ah, isn’t he a wonderful husband?!

I think that Naoya might’ve kept this a secret from Ranta since he knows he wouldn’t approve of him taking this moment to also check if something had occurred between the two.

Although I presume Ranta already knew his best friend was going to do something like that (Hence the BE GENTLE NAOYA instead—as to make up for the errors he absolutely knew he was going to commit lol) Ranta really is the voice of reason in this situation, yet, wrongly motivated.

And if Naoya is somewhat trying to become… “better” (due to RANTA’S SUGGESTION) he still has a loooong way to go. Hm.

Finally, the doctor :>

Ok so, we already knew he was a terrible, unprofessional man from the last time we visited him, but this was just in a whole ‘nother level. And all because he was previously informed by Naobito himself!!! Even as awful as that really is in the story, I loved writing it because I like tormenting my characters hahah it's a way to ground, remind them of the the fact that even if they were away (feeling somewhat safe) he’s still closely watching.

I’m sure Ranta warned Naoya about it, and Mariya might've considered it, but it was one of those things that they'll have to deal with, even if it’s risky 😅 because both are still getting something beneficial out of it, even if it's the bare minimum.

The instigation on his part, however, although ignited by Naobito… I don’t think it was intended to go as far as it did (He’s still a mere mortal compared to the Zen’in haha so he might get fired from it) but that didn’t stop him. Naobito was pretty clear with what he wanted, to remind them of what's at stake and to stop playing those "stupid games" of getting along with one another and just do what's expected 😳

His words were designed to light a fire under Naoya's ass and stop moping around the estate. Hence, the constant reminder of Y/N's possible infidelity.

And he didn't stop there, he also slandered his close relatives lol it was a combination of "your brother's are worthless, and yet, look at one of them, getting all cozy with your wife :^)"

I would've loved to see him bring Toji into the conversation—I bet Naoya would've jumped to defend him 🙄

Y/N being compared to Tomoko by being “difficult” was foul for both women. Tomoko had a rough set of pregnancies because of Naobito’s obsession with getting a powerful heir that will help him secure the position of leader of the clan. (can't wait to develop her a bit more 😏)

The husbands in the equation are putting their respective wife’s health in a critical condition, and they don’t even realize it… wow. Is this man even passionate about his career? Why did he even choose something like that if he was not going to help them, or at least call them out?

Money, I guess.

But circling back to Naobito’s intervention, it makes me wonder just how far have the rumors of the situation going on between Naoya and Y/N have spread. I doubt the Zen’in are ones to reveal their issues to other clans (at least intentionally) but it kind of reminds me of the situation with the Kamo clan and Noritoshi’s mother.

The L/N knew of it because they were a close relative of hers, as well as being there to receive her when she was eventually cast aside. However, it’s been stated that the Zen’in are particularly… secretive towards Y/N’s family due to something Naoya might’ve or might’ve not done. So at least, we know they don’t know (and care).

As for the rest of the clans, I’m sure the elders have gossiped more than they should’ve (or maybe even the staff) and some words have reached the ears of the Gojo clan whom more likely than not, have people sneakily hidden inside the ranks of the Zen’in staff in hopes of getting something that might benefit them lol.

At the end of the day, this whole chapter was a callback to that infamous doctor visit, and see… what has changed so far. Naoya and Y/N are completely different people from back then, and we’ll see it on the following chapters!

There’s going to be more call backs, (yellow… yukata…) as well as exploring a bit more of loreeeeee!!!! I’m so excited to write these chapters as the story progresses, and overall, just see where the characters take us!!

Gjklagjkahgjka Thank you so much for your patience!! I hope you continue enjoying and supporting the rest of the story!! Take care, and hope to see you soon!.

P.S. These are just the most important parts that I remember as highly influential for writing the chapter, but if there’s something that you’d like to see further explained just send me an ask and I’ll be more than happy to respond!!  ❤  (At the best of my spoiler-free ability, of course)

P.S. 2: I’m going on a break after the following chapter because I’m going on a cruise!! It’s so…. Exciting… 😭 I’m looking forward to it. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get some inspiration out of it hehehehehehheeh

[lilshocker8]

Hello!! I’m a huge fan of Refuge Rulers and I have a question about it, but I’d like to share what made me think of it and create a Tumblr account to ask you in the first place.

I was watching random Newsies clips last night and one of the videos was from the proshot - the part in Carrying The Banner where you can see all the guys spaced out on the structures (hopefully you can picture that, it’s early in the number). When the Newsies from the outside boxes move into the middle structure, I happened to notice that with Jack and Crutchie in the center was Albert, Buttons, and Finch - very coincidentally the Terrible Trio in your series!

So my question: How did you decide on the different friendships within the Newsies?

I really enjoy how unique they all feel in how they interact with each other, and I appreciate the spread of ages across all of them, too.

Love your writing, keep the great work!!!

Hi!! :D Oh my gosh you created a Tumblr account just to ask a question I am so flattered ^///^ And very happy to answer it!

Yes, I know what part you're talking about! I've watched the proshot so many times I can play it in my head on command now xD Though I somehow managed to miss that it was the Terrible Trio standing with Jack and Crutchie during that part! That is so fun, thanks for pointing it out :D The Trio are one of my favorite friendships in the series (up there with Morris and the Rich Kids) - I can't wait to write their backstories and show how they came to be in canon ^^

Behind the scenes, though, I wish I could say I had some big plan, but I really didn't xD I never really intended to post Summer, 1899 since I was just writing it for me, so I didn't worry too much about setting background details at first.

I worked out ages for the kids and general personality beats based on their lines in the show/role in Refuge Rulers, and then I just started writing and let them tell me who the friend groups were! Romeo and Race stuck together, the Trio immediately latched onto each other, and Mush and JoJo bonded in that way that kids stuck with much younger children around tend to~

Once I saw who was spending time with who, that's when I began digging deeper into the friendships and building them up into what is ultimately in the published story! And of course I also worked on those kids who *didn't* naturally fall into any friend group, like Henry (one of my favorite kids now - he's got a POV coming up in Chapter 5 of Solitary Situation that gives more insight into his whole situation), Tommy Boy (the hanger-on to the Trio who doesn't quite fit with them due to how perfectly they slot with each other), and Elmer (the new kid still finding his footing within the group).

I hope that answers your question! And thanks for asking it, I love getting to blather about my process xD I hope you'll continue to enjoy this silly little world ^^

[mycurrent-hyperfixation]

Take A Chance On Me - Chapter Six (Eddie Munson x Reader Series)

Series Summary: Corroded Coffin is lacking only one thing that could help them win the upcoming Battle of the Bands; original songs. So when a new band comes to town with a lead singer that looks all too familiar and a repertoire of original songs up their sleeves, Dustin concocts a plan that will get you to spill all of your songwriting secrets to Eddie. It’s just a few dates, right?

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

Word Count: 4.5K

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Reader, Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, 10 Things I Hate About You AU

A/N: First off, just wanted to point out that, no, I do not think Eddie Munson would listen to My Chemical Romance. But the songs I've chosen for all the songs in this fic are based more on the lyrics rather than anything else so let us focus on that instead. My Spotify wrapped is gonna look super weird this year because of this fic. I've listened to so many songs trying to find the right ones to fit the different plot points so I don't want people to get too hung up on the genres I'm choosing from. Lyrics, people. Let us focus on the lyrics. Also, I know this chapter is on the shorter side, but the next chapter is going to be soooo long, so that will make up for it. I love and appreciate you all for keeping this fic alive so please keep up with the likes and comments because they honestly make my day. As always, I love all of you xxx

Eddie could feel the change more than he could see it.

His interactions with you since that fateful night of the party had been fleeting, coincidental occurrences. That was at least what Eddie told himself when he found himself driving to Family Video or the record store or the Hideout, knowing full well that you would be there and yet hoping that his feigned surprise at seeing you was enough to play them off as chance encounters.  

When you spoke with him it was always with your usual smile so that sometimes Eddie found himself questioning whether anything was wrong at all. And yet it was in the way your eyes met his less frequently now, your gaze always wandering away from him, seemingly more interested in your surroundings. It was in the way you sought him out less to talk, only ever engaging when he spoke first. It was in the way you spoke, less animated when you did so; your smile less wide, the sparkle between your eyes slightly dimmer.  

So when Eddie saw you emerge from your car in the parking lot of the competition’s venue, your eyes alight as you continued on in whatever conversation you were enraptured within, he couldn’t quite stop himself from staring. Your lips were curved into a smile; the very same smile that he had so thoroughly missed over the past week so that even from the distance that stood between you he still found his heart beating faster at the sight of it. This was the real smile—the genuine one—not the slightly forced and slightly fake one he had seen so often lately.

The drive had seemed so very long this time without you by his side. Periodically throughout the journey Eddie had found himself searching for your car by the side of the road, hoping that maybe a new issue had arisen; perhaps a flat battery or a punctured tire. But then of course he would catch himself before the thought was even fully formed, chastising himself for ever wanting such a thing to occur. Good people did not wish for their friends’ cars to break down on the side of the road. And yet as much as Eddie hated himself for it, he could not quite quell the small sliver of hope that it would happen.

But it hadn’t.

“Why don’t you just go over and talk to her? Your pining is starting to get creepy,” Dustin said from beside him as the rest of the boys unloaded their instruments from the van. The strap of Eddie’s own guitar case hung loosely from his shoulder, his grip on the strap tightening somewhat as a laugh escaped from your lips.

“I think she’s mad at me,” Eddie responded, his gaze not moving from you.

“Well we’ve got the song for today, so something seems to be working,” Gareth called.

Eddie flinched.

“I think we should stop with the plan,” he mumbled.

“Oh, have you already written the other songs we need?” Mike questioned.

“No, not yet, but I-”

“Well then a few more dates can’t hurt,” Jeff added.

Eddie wholeheartedly disagreed. Because every time he looked at you and remembered the plan that had been so stupidly concocted that night within his trailer, the sinking feeling that had slowly been forming over the past few weeks somewhere within the pit of his stomach grew stronger. It ate at him, slowly and yet surely so that now, whenever he found himself within the warmth of your presence, there was that feeling lingering in the back of his mind.  

It disgusted him.

The plan had seemed so innocent at first; so easy. And yet now the thought of it followed him around like a shadow. He had considered just telling you, maybe playing it off as a joke so that the guilt he found himself constantly racked with would finally leave him. But then he would think of the change that had already begun to occur between you and he could not quite bring himself to push you any further away from him.  

“Whatever,” Eddie mumbled, not having the heart to continue with the conversation.

“You know, she’s not going to get less mad at you if you’re all the way over here,” Dustin said.  

A small smile grew upon Eddie’s lips.

“You’re wiser than you look, little Henderson,” Eddie said before he found himself traversing the carpark. His legs felt slightly unstable as he walked—your figure slowly growing closer and closer towards him—until he felt almost as if they were about to buckle right out from under him when he found himself within your presence. Your back was to him, your head slightly hidden in the boot of your car as you grabbed your guitar from within.  

“Allow me, m’lady,” Eddie said and before you could respond he was leaning over you and grabbing the strap of your guitar case, flinging it across his shoulders where it joined his own. Eddie could tell that you were slightly taken aback by his sudden presence, although your surprise could have also partly been because now he was standing so very close to you. He could feel the heat emanating off your skin, could smell that same tantalising scent of your perfume, and although he knew he should probably step away from you, he did not particularly feel like doing so.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said, and Eddie could’ve sworn he saw the slightest upwards curve of your lips before it vanished. He so missed that smile.

“I know,” Eddie responded. “But I want to.”

A silence lingered between you then, and Eddie could feel the rest of your band staring quite unsubtly at him.  

“Okay,” was all you responded with before you were walking away from him. You made your way hastily over to Vicki as you entwined your arm with hers before beginning the walk over to the venue without so much as a backwards glance.

Eddie sighed.  

“Just give her some time,” Eddie heard from behind him, and upon turning around, found Robin looking almost pityingly at him.

“I’m guessing she told you what happened then.”

“Oh yeah she called me straight after.”

Eddie sighed again.

“Does she hate me now?”

Eddie furrowed his brows when Robin burst out laughing.

“Men are so dumb sometimes,” Robin said, and then upon seeing Eddie’s confused expression, elaborated. “She’s not angry, she’s embarrassed, dingus.”

Robin rolled her eyes and turned on her heels as she begun making her way across the carpark. Eddie hastily followed.  

“You’re the first guy she’s let herself like in…forever,” Robin continued. “So when she tries to actually show some sort of affection and gets rejected…well that’s not great for anybody’s ego.”

“She likes me?” Eddie whispered, his lips upturning into a wide smile. He didn’t miss the blatant rolling of Robin’s eyes. “But I didn’t reject-”

“I know that, you know that, and somewhere in that stupid little brain of hers, she knows that. It’s just hard for her to open up and now she’s embarrassed since it didn’t play out like how she wanted it to.”

“So what should I do?”

“Jesus, do I have to spell everything out for you? Why don’t you grow a pair and—oh, I don’t know—actually ask her out!”

Eddie was too stunned to form a coherent response. He didn’t quite know what he had expected from this conversation, and yet being provided such an obvious answer had not seemed to even cross his mind. He turned his gaze forwards and watched on as your figure disappeared into the venue. Slowly, he felt a sly smile creep onto his features.  

Eddie eventually found you sitting within the green room, still enraptured in a conversation with your bandmates. You looked up as he walked in and Eddie offered you a smile, his heart skipping slightly when the corner of your mouth upturned slightly in response.

“I thought you’d run off with my guitar there for a moment,” you said.

Eddie, in all honesty, had forgotten he was holding it.  

“O-oh, yeah,” he said, hastily reaching to unsling your guitar case from around his shoulder, outstretching it towards you. When you reached out and grabbed the strap, your fingers brushed ever so faintly across Eddie’s so that now he found it was him who was averting his gaze from you as a vibrant blush crept up his neck. It was stupid really, blushing from a simple touch of your hand, and yet Eddie’s heart beat faster all the same. “I’ll have to keep that in mind for next time, though. It’ll be hard to win the competition if you’re down a guitarist.”

Eddie offered you a devilish grin and found his breath hitching in his throat when you smiled back at him. Whatever he was doing seemed to be working, for this smile was different to the ones you had been offering him lately. This one was wide and full and so very breathtaking that Eddie knew it was genuine. At the sight of it, he allowed himself to hope that maybe he was succeeding in getting things slightly back to normal.

“Even without my guitar we would still thrash you, Munson.”

Oh, how he had missed you.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, sweetheart.”

Faintly, Eddie could hear the rest of his band slowly begin to make their way into the room, but in that moment he seemed incapable of tearing his gaze away from yours. You were close now, closer than he remembered getting to you, and your eyes were so very hypnotising as he stared into them.

It was this that he had missed, he quickly realised. It was the taunting tone of your voice and the confidence in your smirk and the unrelenting attitude that never seemed to back down. It was the way you relished in the challenge of it all. It was the way you never seemed to be scared of Eddie—even with his long hair and dark clothing and inked skin—your eyes instead always focusing on the smile on his lips or the glint in his eye. And as you looked at him—really looked at him and did not back away from what you saw—Eddie felt himself begin to melt.

It was only when Dustin loudly cleared his throat that Eddie finally pulled away.  

“Finally finished a song then?” you questioned with a smirk.

“As a matter of fact, we have.”

“So what’s it called?”

Eddie’s smile widened.  

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

---

Your band was playing first this time much to your dismay as you waited in the wings, hands gripped so tightly upon your guitar that your knuckles were turning white. It was harder now that you no longer had Eddie beside you as a distraction, the familiar feeling of your chest constricting and your palms sweating coming back in full force.  

But then the stage manager was ushering you forwards and so you had little time to think of anything other than placing one foot in front of the other. The crowd cheered as you appeared on stage, the lights so blinding that at first there was nothing but a sea of darkness stretching out before you. Eventually, as you begun to set up and as your eyes slowly started to adjust, you began to make out faces among the crowd. Your breath hitched in your throat when you noticed that the size of the crowd had grown, a feat you had honestly not thought possible considering how many people had been present at the last performance.  

With a shaky exhale, you tried your hardest to curve your lips into a smile, allowing your gaze to flicker quickly over the crowd. Most of the faces you found staring back at you were smiling, which you supposed was a good sign, but you still could not quell the anxiety that lingered in the pit of your stomach. As if drawn to them, your gaze came to find Eddie’s, his tall frame lingering off to the side slightly. When his eyes met yours, he offered you a wide smile, and even though the change was barely there, you felt your nerves ease somewhat.

“Hello everyone!” you called, revelling slightly as the crowd erupted into cheers. “Tonight, this song goes out to all the wannabe lovers and to the all the cowards who won’t do anything about it.” A few whistles joined the cheering now. “This one’s called Kiss Her You Fool.”

Eddie couldn’t quite stop the laugh that erupted from his throat earning him several confused looks from his band mates standing next to him. He paid them no mind as he continued to look up at you, your eyes meeting his one last time before you began as you flashed him a cheeky smile.

When the song began, Eddie found he could not quite wipe the smile from his face.

“Stop making up your excuses

Call her up, tell her you forgot something

It’s worth more than you are thinking

Don’t be a fool, tell her you think she’s cool.”

When you closed your eyes as you so often did when you played, hands still moving fluidly over each string, Eddie found his gaze flicking over to Robin for just a moment. She was staring right at him, a wide smirk upon her lips as she pulled one eye down in a not very subtle wink. Eddie rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Stop waiting for a fairy-tale to take you away

Don’t wait for someday.

She’s thinking the same thing as you

Don’t be afraid, dreams aren’t found they’re made.”

Eddie did not regret the decision he had made within his van that night. He was, in all honesty, quite in awe of how he had even managed the self-control to pull away from you in the first place. He did, however, regret the way he left things. He regretted letting you leave his van without explaining himself further, without setting things right. Because in that moment when the pungent smell of alcohol had wafted towards him, he had thought of nothing other than you.  

You would regret the action when you were sober, he had been quite sure, and maybe in the end it would have caused a bigger rift to grow between the two of you. A drunken decision, nothing more, probably made from a primal desire to seek out warmth in the cold of the evening. And even though Eddie had dreamed about kissing you—the thought often plaguing his mind at odd hours of the day—if he was ever lucky enough to get the chance to do so he needed to know that you wanted it to.  

“Cause you’ve only got one chance.”

Your eyes found Eddie’s once more.

“You’ve only got one chance

Kiss her you fool.”

For just a moment Eddie allowed himself to dream. He allowed himself to think about that night, how lovely you had looked in the dim light of his van. The alcohol had caused your cheeks to redden slightly and had probably had some effect on the wideness of your smile. But you had been so very beautiful sitting next to him all the same so that sometimes Eddie found himself wondering whether he had not been more drunk than he remembered and had simply hallucinated it all.  

But this dream was different this time. Because as you sat before Eddie, your hair falling slightly in front of your face so that he had the desire to lean over and brush it away, you were not drunk. He smelt only the familiar scent of your perfume as he leaned forwards, so that this time there was nothing but his own racing heart making him hesitate before closing that final distance between you. But in the end he did, and he was positive that you would have been just as soft and warm and delicious as he had imagined you to be.  

Eddie was pulled from his reverie as Jeff tapped him lightly on the shoulder, gesturing that it was time for them to go.

---

As you ran offstage, the adrenaline from the set still rushing through your veins, you couldn’t quite help the smile that erupted onto your lips at the sight of Eddie waiting in the wings. His guitar was held firmly in one hand, Gareth, Jeff and Mike beside him as they awaited the signal to start heading onstage. He smiled at you as you approached him, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Interesting lyrics,” Eddie said with a smirk.

“Yeah well Robin’s been pining after a crush for quite some time, so I guess I was inspired.”

“Liar,” Eddie whispered to you just as the stage manager signalled for him to go. He left your side with one last smile, revelling in the slight blush that began to creep up your cheeks.  

By the time you had hastily put your guitar away and made your way into the crowd, Eddie and his band had just finished setting up their instruments. The crowd was so dense that you ended up having to remain on the outskirts, unable to penetrate very far through the throng of people to get any closer to the stage. But Eddie found you anyway, smiling before he tapped upon the microphone.

“Hello!” he called, clearly revelling in the cheer from the crowd. “We are Corroded Coffin and tonight we’ll be playing an original song that was named by a very special friend of mine.” You furrowed your brows slightly as Eddie’s eyes remained upon you. “This one’s called,” he shot you a wink before continuing, “Na Na Na.”

Eddie could see the rolling of your eyes all the way from the stage and found himself having to stifle a laugh as you flipped him your middle finger.  

Gareth tapped his drumsticks together four times before the room became alight with music.  

“Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na,” Mike, Gareth, Jeff and Eddie practically screamed in unison. It was electrifying, the concoction of drums and guitar that exploded throughout the venue so that you couldn’t quite blame the crowd for going wild. It was an easy song to get lost in, the beat so very prominent so that one could almost not help but bang their head to it. You found yourself doing so after only the first few counts.

“Drugs, gimme drugs, gimme drugs,” Eddie broke off on his own.

“I don’t need it, but I’ll sell what you got

Take the cash and I’ll keep it.”

You hadn’t quite known what you were expecting from an original song that was written by Eddie Munson, but the loud, dramatic and practically unhinged music that filled the room was probably close. The song was fast and rowdy and partly deranged in such a way that was so very him so that you couldn’t quite wipe the smile from your face as you listened.  

Eddie was having fun. It was so very clear on his face as he sang and as his hands danced over the strings of his guitar. And although you had seen him play before and although that experience had itself been entirely captivating, it was somehow even more so now that he was playing his own creation. There’s was an enthusiasm behind his voice now, something so clearly genuine that it would have been hard for anyone not to love the song.  

“Love, gimme love, gimme love

I don’t need it, but I’ll take what I want from your heart

And I’ll keep it in a bag, in a box”

Eddie’s voice was not one that was entirely smooth. It instead possessed a slight rasp to it, and although it was not exactly conventional, it seemed to only add to his charm upon the stage. His voice was something that was perfect in an imperfect way; something that was gruff and guttural and entirely hypnotizing so that the more that you listened to it the more you began to wonder how husky it would get in the early hours of the morning.  

The thought caused a heat to erupt low within you and a blush to rage violently across your cheeks. But the thought continued to grow and develop and multiply until it was almost like it possessed a mind of its own. There was the image of a mop of curly brown hair laid out messily across a pillow. There was the sight of a wide expanse of skin, a bare torso littered with black markings lying beside you, half covered by a blanket. There was the beginning of a voice, deep and hoarse as it wished you a good morning, pulled from the depths of sleep. You physically shook your head to dispel of the idea, and yet still the remnants of it would not leave the depths of your mind as you tried to focus back in on the song.  

The lyrics seemed slightly manic and altogether quite haphazardly strewn together, each line of the chorus intermingled with that same opening sequence of na na na’s sung by Gareth, Mike and Jeff. The song was a call to arms, a rebellion against conformity that managed to get the crowd so worked up that halfway through the song, people began to repeat the na na na’s until the hall was practical shaking with the sound. It was entirely electrifying, the buzz in the room practically palpable.

It was a good song, you had to admit, and the small inclination of annoyance that lingered within you because of this had you altogether feeling quite guilty. And even though your comment regarding Eddie’s song-writing troubles had been said in passing that night at the party, and even though you had said it with the intention to help him, this blatant implementation of your tip had something twisting within your stomach. It was a strange concoction of pride, jealousy and hurt, for you had never had such a large reaction from any crowd that you had ever played. And although you were well aware that your feelings were largely unwarranted and completely unfair, as much as you tried to dispel of them, they continued to remain.  

---

“Interesting lyrics you had there, Munson,” you said as Eddie entered the green room. Most of the other bands had packed up and left already, leaving the space oddly quiet as the rest of your own band began making their way out of the door. Before she left, Robin turned back to look at you before flashing you a wink paired with a grin. You rolled your eyes as she disappeared from sight.

“I just have these genius sparks of inspiration sometimes,” he responded with a smirk. Without another word as you clipped the case of your guitar closed, Eddie leaned over you and plucked it from your grasp, slinging it across his shoulder just as fluently as he had done the first time. And as you turned to look at him and as he continued to smile down at you, the curve of his lips soft and relaxed in the position, all the animosity and resentment you had felt within the crowd slipped away.  

“I want writing credit if you ever record that,” you said, pointing a finger up at him sternly.

You slowly began to make your way from the room, Eddie staying by your side as you traversed the hallway.

“I’m surprised you would want to be associated with such a…hmmm what was it…mediocre band I think you called us.”

A laugh escaped your lips.

“You’re not getting out of this one that easily, Munson”

“I hardly think you can copyright ‘na na na’.”

“It was practically half the song!”

Eddie bent his head back slightly and let out a hearty laugh. Your walk was slow, hesitant almost as you emerged from the depths of the dark hallway out into the moonlit carpark. Eddie’s shoulder brushed periodically against your own as you went, and although you thought this an indication that you were likely walking too close, you did not move away. You could see your friends lingering by the side of your locked car and Eddie’s bandmates doing the same by his van, and although the wind brought with it a slight chill, neither of you quickened your pace. Whilst you still could, you simply allowed yourself to relish the moment; the comfort of the silence that lingered between the two of you, the thought of a boy walking beside you as he carried your guitar bringing a smile to your lips.  

One of Eddie’s hands gripped lazily onto the strap of his guitar case, the other dangling between you. You thought briefly of reaching out and grasping it within your own, entwining your fingers with his. They would be large, you thought, and would likely engulf yours completely. For just a second, the skin on the back of Eddie’s hand brushed against your own, but whether it was intentional or not you couldn’t quite tell. Either way, the touch had you yearning to reach out and do it again.

But then suddenly the walk was over as you came to stop by your car. Your bandmates stood around it, quite unsubtly staring straight at the boy beside you so that your movements were done hastily as you unlocked the vehicle for them. Hesitantly, they began to pack their instruments away before climbing inside.

There was another silence that lingered between you when you turned back to face Eddie; this time something thick and timid and slightly awkward.

“Well I’ll see you later, Munson,” you said, reaching out one hand to open the door of your car.  

“Wait.” Eddie wasn’t quite sure what overtook him, but suddenly his own hand was outstretching towards yours, trapping your wrist within his fingers. You widened your eyes slightly in surprise, but you did not pull away from him.

“I wanted to ask you,” Eddie continued, his heart suddenly thundering in his chest. “Um…I was wondering if maybe…if you were free…only if you wanted to, of course…I could maybe…take you out sometime?” Eddie cringed internally at his own lack of confidence, the timidity so very clear in his voice.  

You simply continued to smile up at him devilishly.

“The thing is,” you said, pausing for a moment. “I don’t really go out with lyric stealers.”

Whatever Eddie had been expecting you to say, it certainly wasn’t that. A hesitant smile formed on his features.  

“So…is that a yes?” he asked.

“No.”

Eddie felt his smile falter slightly. You had meant it as a joke, had said it in the same taunting and teasing tone that you always used with Eddie. And yet you saw it all in the span of a second; the doubt and the embarrassment and the sheer heartbreak that flashed behind his eyes. All of it had you hastening to continue, but before you could do so Eddie spoke once more.

“So was it a no?”

There was a sadness behind his voice now, one that had your heart beginning to break.

So with a movement so quick Eddie wasn’t altogether sure it actually happened, you were suddenly standing upon the tips of your toes and placing a delicate kiss against Eddie’s cheek.

“No.”

---

Songs Used:

- Kiss Her You Fool by Kids That Fly

- Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) by My Chemical Romance

---

Taglist:

@alicetweven @juggernort @theh3aven @manamitoyota @mimiluvsualot @cherrypieyourface @kaqua @c0untryclub @goldencherriess @emotionaldreamer @givemethesleep @milkiane @miscreantsnopossoms @legendaryfestsoul-blog

Series Taglist

@grungegrrrl @thirddeadlysin @boomitsallie1 @renaroo123 @wordsthatwaterflowersinyoursoul​ @annnnn91 @bakugouswh0r3 @aivilovio @wannabewiedzma

[queensoybean0724]

Succession Chapter 8 (Karl Heisenberg/female reader) Resident Evil Village fanfic

Chapter 8 is here!

Title: Succession Chapter 8

Characters: Karl Heisenberg, female reader, OC

Rating: R for language and explicit gore (may be triggering with the descriptions of the bodies in the factory)

Summary: you discover a long lost relative has died and made you his sole beneficiary.  While flying to collect your inheritance, you crash in a village in Romania.

Author’s Note: I do not own the characters from Resident Evil Village. This is a work of fiction.  Anything remotely similar to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter 8

The soft tugging of your wrists woke you from sleep.  You blinked rapidly and looked up to see Heisenberg removing the cuffs and setting them on the floor.

“What are you doing?” you asked, bringing your hands close to your body and rubbing your wrists.

“Sorry to wake you,” Heisenberg murmured, “but I’m going to work for a while downstairs...didn’t want you to be shackled to the bed the whole time.  Do you need to use the bathroom before I go?”

You nodded your head, realizing you were in need of the facilities.  Standing slowly to your feet, you padded to the door and walked across the way into the bathroom.  Once you relieved yourself, you washed your hands and made your way back to the room.

“I’ll be down there for several hours,” Heisenberg said as he rinsed his hands in the sink, “I’ll probably skip lunch.  Help yourself to whatever is in the refrigerator.”

You thanked him and curled back up under the covers.  You couldn’t believe it, but this fucked-up picture of domesticity was starting to grow on you.  Last night’s dinner outside at sunset was quite pleasant.  Heisenberg didn’t talk much aside from the occasional grunt or nod if you said anything.  It seemed that something was weighing on his mind.  And when you asked him what he had been working on at his desk a few hours earlier, he once again told you to mind your business.

Heisenberg put on his hat, sunglasses, and trenchcoat and left without another word, closing the door behind him.

You fell asleep for another three hours before finally waking up and looking over at his clock on his nightstand.  The time read 11:46am.

Rising from the bed, you cooked yourself some breakfast and filled a mug full of water.  You ate leisurely and leafed through a fashion magazine that had been stuffed into one of the suitcases Heisenberg had brought from the crash site.  

Once you were finished with your plates, you washed them in the sink and put them away.  You had made up your mind that you were going to shower.  You hadn’t washed since Heisenberg brought you here and it was creeping up on day three...or was it day four...five maybe?  Either way, you needed to wash.

You gathered your shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and sponge.  You also reached for your razor and shaving cream.  It had been several days since you shaved your legs and you wanted to be clean and smooth...just in case…

No, you thought, not because of Heisenberg!  But because I want to get back to feeling normal again!

There were a couple of towels hanging over the windowed walls of the shower, no doubt used by Heisenberg himself.  You made a mental note to ask him for towels of your own when he got back…

Then it occurred to you.  When he left, he closed the door, but you didn’t hear the loud click that his key usually made in the lock...

He didn’t lock the door.

*

As you shaved and showered, you mentally weighed the pros and cons of whether or not you should leave Heisenberg’s living quarters.  He had never not locked the door.  Maybe whatever work he had planned was at the forefront of his mind and he had simply forgotten to lock the door.  Or maybe, just as he trusted you to go back and forth from the bathroom without him keeping watch over you, maybe he was starting to trust you not to leave the room.

The monotony of the room was starting to become boring...perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to walk around and stretch your legs.

You put on a pair of jeans, a long sleeved shirt, socks, and sneakers. Promising yourself that you wouldn’t walk too far, you opened the door quietly and peeked out into the hallway, looking right and left.  Heisenberg wasn’t in the vicinity.  The usual sounds of the factory rang out in the distance.  You strained your hearing to listen for footsteps.  Except for you, the area was empty.

Pushing the door all the way open, you stepped out into the hall.  You walked down the hallway, making sure to keep your steps light and quiet.  The pounding of your pulse was ringing in your ears and you were terrified of Heisenberg finding you outside of his living quarters.   He would not be happy with you if he could see you at that moment.

You walked to a closed door and opened it to see the suspended walkway you had run across on your first day.  The noises were louder as you looked out among the metal, chains, steam, and rotating bodies.  A large body of water was several feet below you.  You stood there for a minute and looked all around, afraid that Heisenberg would be nearby and see you on the walkway.

The coast was clear.  You quickened your pace as you walked, making sure to tiptoe.  You reached the door on the other side, pushing it open.

This was uncharted territory. You didn’t know what was around the corner and made a mental note of which way you turned, how many flights of stairs you went up and down, and factory signs.  The signs were written in Romanian, but you sounded them out in your head in hopes you would remember your way back.

Occasionally you would open a door or two along the way, poking your head in and scanning the rooms.  A part of you felt guilty...you were being invasive and nosy.  This was Heisenberg’s home and even though he was keeping you here against your will, you thought it unlikely that he would want you poking around in his factory.  You could picture him now:  his brows furrowing, his gloved hands balling into fists, and his mighty voice booming as he yelled at you to get back to his quarters.

Dear god, why did that turn you on?

You had descended stairs earlier and hadn’t seen another set in quite a while, so you assumed you were down in the dregs of the factory.  It started to feel warmer the further down you went.  Why wasn’t Heisenberg’s room down here instead of higher up where the cold slid in through the walls so effortlessly?

You turned a corner and came up to a heavy steel door that was slightly ajar.  Leaning forward, you peered down a dark hall...with bodies hanging along the right side.  “Oh my god…” you whispered.  You couldn’t tell whether they were alive or dead, but a gas mask sat over each of their mouths and they hung from a tight leather strap wrapped around the breastbone and up under their arms.  Their skin was pale and their eyes closed.

Keeping your back flat against the left side of the hallway, you quietly and slowly made your way across.  You counted in your head...one, two, three, four, five, six bodies spaced out along the hallway.  Was this part of the work that Heisenberg was doing around here?  You shook your head.  Why was he doing this?  What was he doing with all of these bodies?

Another steel door was at the end of the hall and you silently turned the knob and pushed it open.

Upon entering the large room, you gasped audibly, your eyes wide.  The place looked like a morgue.  Five steel tables sat in the room...with five more corpses lying on top of them.  They each looked recently dead, their skin not as pale as the men hanging in the hallway behind you.  Decomposition had not occured yet.  The bodies had various trauma to them.  One was missing an arm.  One had its left leg sewed on.  

The other three were fitted with a visor over their eyes.  They laid shirtless on the tables.  One was a woman, her bare breasts visible with a gaping hole in her chest where her heart was supposed to be.  She was clothed from the waist down in a uniform that looked familiar...she was wearing a flight attendant’s uniform.  Could this be one of the attendants from your plane???

The other two bodies had something different over their left chest.  A circular metal contraption was lodged inside.  “What the fuck…” you murmured softly, walking amongst the carnage.  You were beginning to think that maybe you should have stayed inside Heisenberg’s quarters.

A door was opened on the other side of the room.  You crept towards it and looked inside.  The room stretched out before you and you could see a steel wall in the middle, separating one section of the room from the other.  A steel table stood next to the edge of the wall and you saw that you would have to circle it to see what was on the other side.  Swallowing the growing anxiety in your throat, you stepped closer.  

You reached the table and the wall and leaned forward, peering into the room.  Your mouth dropped, your eyes widened, and you gasped loudly.

“Bruce???”

Bruce Williams sat in what looked like a dentist’s chair, his body slumped forward.  A visor, just like the ones the three bodies were fitted with in the previous room, was also sitting over his eyes.  Three or four tubes were hanging from the ceiling and plugged into different areas on his body.  But the worst thing was his arm...the forearm from the elbow down was missing...and what replaced it was an electric saw.

A tear rolled down your cheek.  Oh, god, Bruce, you thought, what happened to you?

Before you were able to put two and two together, there was movement behind Bruce’s body.  An open door was against the back wall and Heisenberg entered the room, both of his hands holding surgical tools.  He stopped in his tracks when he looked up and saw you standing before Bruce.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?” Heisenberg growled, “how did you get out of my room?”

Panic, disbelief, and terror surged through your body.  You found yourself mourning for Bruce all over again and being gripped with fear over being caught...but even greater, fury had begun to make your blood boil.

“What is this?!?!” you cried out shrilly, “what are you doing to him???  Bruce...he was seated next to me on the plane!!!  OH DEAR GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM???”  You took several steps back, your fingers gripping your hair.  This was not happening....this was not happening...you were dreaming again…

“Y/N, let me explain…” Heisenberg said, fastly approaching you, putting his tools down on the table.

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!” you screamed, turning on your heels and running out of the room.  You ran into one of the bodies on the table, your body falling forward.  Your chin touched its cold skin and you let out another loud scream.

“Y/N, stop!” Heisenberg commanded.  You felt him behind you, his hands gripping your shoulders.  You yelped and whirled around, shoving his body away from you.  You ran for the exit just as one of the tables with a body flew out in front of you, blocking your path.

Adrenaline was pumping through you and you quickly ran around the table and out of the door.  You ran down the hallway, ignoring the hanging bodies, your heart hammering in your chest.

“Y/N!!” Heisenberg yelled as he ran after you.  You were in total flight mode and you couldn’t remember which way was up.  The little notes you had jotted in your memory were long gone and you had no idea how to get out of the factory.

As you turned a corner, you saw a large industrial lift.  You darted inside, gripping the sliding elevator door from above, and pulled it down shut.  Looking over at the buttons, you hit the UP arrow rapidly in pure panic.

Heisenberg ran full force at the door, his fingers wrapping around the wooden railings.  You screamed loudly, scrambling back against the other side of the lift, pressing your back against the wall.

“Y/N!!” Heisenberg shouted, “Y/N, STOP!!! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!!!”

The elevator lift began to ascend, putting more and more space between you and Heisenberg.  You could hear him shaking the wooden railings, screaming your name over and over.  Looking upwards, you watched with growing impatience as the lift slowly made its way higher and higher until it stopped at the very top.

There was a metal door before you with thin railings.  You looked between them to see a small field surrounded by a barbed wire fence.  The metal door was shut tight.  You started to kick at the door and shove your shoulder against it, desperate for it to open.  After what felt like several moments, you shoved your body once again and the door flew open.  You spilled into the grass and looked around wildly.  Where could you go?  Where could you hide?

You looked to the left and saw a small section of fence that was rusted and pushed back, creating a space that would allow you to escape.  Running as fast as your legs could take you, you pushed at the wire and slithered your body through the hole.  Jagged edges snagged your skin and your clothes, but you were too fueled by panic to worry about scratches.

After clearing the fence, you jumped to your feet and ran towards the trees and the mountains, desperate to get as far away from Heisenberg as you could.

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Lovebug (14/14)

Summary:

“It might be a bug.”

“A bug?”

“Sometimes the developers of this application make mistakes. This is our first time meeting I’m sure so…Isn’t it a bit weird that we just met for the first time and it rings like this? And for two strangers to coincidentally ring each other’s alarms?“

Levi is the developer of the Love Alarm App and Hange is married to Zeke.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Notes: I know I usually post on Wednesdays but I'll be on the road on Wednesday and if I don't get this out soon, I'll probably end up dropping it next week or smthg so here it is. Two days early. I hope you enjoy :D

Is this all that there is to life? A glaring question that came unexpectedly, in between reading through codes for his nth freelance project the past few years.

In response, Levi closed his eyes, sat back and reflected. A part of him may have been asking that question for a while and slowly, Levi started to understand why he was asked that in the first place.

A few minutes ago, he had been strangely happy to see his code compiling at the first try. And just a few hours ago, he had been enthusiastic at running a debugger through a code and finding a few typos to fix.

Happiness. That was happiness right?

That part of him continued to nag. It soured that 'happiness,' leaving a burning dissatisfaction inside him. You’ve experienced better moments, happier moments.

Then Levi got fed up. He reached into the back of his mind, he remembered, then something stopped him from reminiscing for a while longer.

Something strange. Something buried.

He hadn’t allowed himself to feel much since he first moved into that new city. He had allowed the novelty and the business to carry him through his first months. But the novelty of a new beginning never lasted long.

Too shaken to even bother applying for a new job, Levi opted to work freelance. Consequently, his only companions were the four walls of his studio apartment and the occasional voices from next door.

There was only so much which could stimulate interest. His mind continued to search for them and naturally, time continued to move along with it. Routine and episodes of ennui seemed to last infinities in the moment. But in retrospect, it felt like they all happened too fast.

He had made sense of time in milestones, milestones worth ten times the refreshing feeling of running a debugger through code or the fleeting euphoria of compiling codes at the first try.

Is that all that there is to life? Eventually, he made sense of that strange voice. There was reason to that question.

That day was another milestone. If it wasn't for his nagging mind, he could have missed it.

It was a blustery autumn day in late October, the weather similar to the last view he had of his home five years ago. Shifting his gaze from the window of his present apartment, he took a quick look at the calendar and it was like a dam had ended up spilling open inside him.

The five year mark was a bittersweet milestone, five years since he left home. The fifth year rang more loudly than every year before that. Maybe because five was such a perfect number, or perhaps because he had been keeping something in for a while.

He felt a release. Then a reprieve from the monotony, a reprieve from the five years avoiding his old life. Levi found himself opening his browser tab, typing the words ‘love alarm’ on the search box and deleting it a second later.

An aimless and useless sequence of movements. He didn’t need a quick google search to know how it was doing.

The love alarm had become a household name even all the way in his side of the world. With his very human need to go out, whether it be for groceries, shopping or just some fresh air, Levi couldn’t completely ignore it. With the right decisions, Levi could choose not to give so much as a side glance at the people walking, heads bent down, staring at the number of hearts on their application.

When he went out though, even with his music at full blast, he would hear the familiar alarm as he walked through crowds.

At first, it had left a pang in his chest, a brief bout of nausea, perhaps disgust or embarrassment at his old life.

It had been five years since he first arrived though and it turned out, time did heal.

Levi looked through the wikipedia page of the love alarm and he found, it hurt more like a raw scar than a stab in his chest or a crushing weight. The nausea, the pang in his chest that plagued him years before were weak if almost nonexistent.

Curiosity took over.

He took his phone from the side of his desk and downloaded the application again. The name Jaeger was under the title screen and right next to it were the words ‘All rights reserved.”

Would would have felt like an ache in the chest years ago, felt more like a mosquito bite. Levi was just slightly annoyed. It did nothing to stop him though from registering again and looking through the application interface.

Nothing much had changed. There were some slight changes to the skin of the registration page, a change in the name of the company at the bottom. Levi purposely touched the activate button rapidly and found he had crashed the application.

That was one bug that he never got to fix. He turned his phone to the side, noting the way the screen glitched as it adjusted to the landscape orientation of the phone. Another bug Levi never got to fix.

Then he wondered who the developer on the other end had been to have never even caught it.

Biometrics registered, Levi activated the alarm to find no hearts. He couldn’t help but entertain that slight disappointment. Of course no hearts would have appeared though. He hadn’t even interacted with his neighbors.

It would have been creepy it rang. Letting out a sardonic laugh just loud enough for himself, he leaned back on the chair and stared at the ceiling, forcing his thoughts back to whatever coding freelance project he’d been dealing with a few minutes ago.

Work came in freelance projects. They were enough for rent, for savings and some capacity to eat out occasionally.

A simple yet comfortable life. But is that all that there is to life? That voice continued to tear into his work related thoughts. Levi gave in to the nagging thought again. He started scrolling through wikipedia articles detailing use, detailing acquisition history, he found another key word under related articles, more interesting than ‘love alarm.’

Mood Alarm.

It sent a strange shiver through the back of his neck. Levi rolled his shoulders, relieving the tension that came with the last few eons of reflection. He let out a whistle, opened the new article and scrolled down towards references.

There were lists of articles.

Partner of Zeke Jaeger and freshly minted PhD graduate Doctor Hange Zoe release Mood Alarm.

Doctor Hange Zoe. Something inside him was fighting for control. He couldn’t bring himself to click the link. At the same time though, there was this curiosity inside him that he couldn’t seem to get to the bottom of.

Under the link to the article was the official website.

At the front page, there was a boring and overly professional introduction Levi didn’t bother to read

Below them, everything else had been interesting enough to give more than a second long glance.

The list of functionalities. The color codes. Then newly launched dashboard functionalities, almost a carbon copy of the plan Levi had sent years back.

“Fucking hell, you actually did it,” Levi muttered. He couldn’t help but just allow the smile that tugged at his lips some control. Excitement had him searching for the application on the play store, downloading it and methodically going through the same registration process as the love alarm.

It didn’t look much like the mood alarm Levi had worked on years ago. He saw hints of it though and worked from there to admire it.

The front end had been cleaned up. The font chosen fit the silver-to-white gradient of the application. When Levi clicked ‘activate,’ the screen loaded.

The colors mixed against one another for a second, an aesthetic choice of animation that Levi couldn’t help but be amused with.

Red. Yellow. Blue. Purple. Green. Orange.

The colors continued to mix. Then some disappeared as if they had lost themselves in some colorful war.

Then it was only blue and yellow. The two colors danced against one another for a few seconds longer before they disappeared too. More specifically, they bundled against one another.

Green. It took him at least five seconds to get that reading.

He didn’t have to look at the guide on the website to know what it meant.

Sad happy? Or happy sad? Whatever that feeling was, Levi felt no need to introspect, or maybe he had been too lazy to.

It had been a while since he had even let himself feel something. The green on his screen, the feeling that accompanied it, seemed more like an old friend he hadn’t talked to a while.

If he had any ability at introspection, maybe it had already rusted. Still, he let those emotions inside him, that yellow and that blue do their work.

They had him turning off the mood alarm, then turning off the love alarm. Something inside him still hesitated to delete the applications. Then it had him considering the space on his phone for just a second.

He downloaded another app that night. A familiar app with a flame, then another one with a bee. Only months into his new life in a new city with a new job, Levi was already bored— and if he had to admit it—terribly, terribly lonely.

And maybe the best way to cure it was to spend the whole night swiping.

***

Finding a companion wasn’t as easy as desperation and a few second long rush of confidence made it out to be.

Perhaps, online dating was a rash idea, an uncharacteristic move.

Didn't he reject Petra years ago? How could he date anyone else? Petra… How is she… With nothing much to do but wait for his date, he found himself texting Petra as he waited in the cafe.

He sent a few thank you messages at her well wishes. They exchanged brief updates and Petra’s own updates dragged on for longer.

Her life was more eventful than his.

Petra had started dating Oluo. She had found someone who loved her, just as much as she loved him. Keeping a correspondence with her only highlighted points for reflection for Levi. The more he reflected, the more questions came up. The more he reflected, the more complicated the questions became.

He was lonely but could he be picky? At the same time, did he even have the heart to put anyone through the shitty experience of a half hearted courtship?

Hange’s words echoed in his head, not in any specific string, a few parts in words, a few parts in phrases.

Considering the circumstances… Love is a choice.

When he let her words echo through him, he managed to grip a presence long gone. A presence and a relationship, he clarified, that had never been his in the first place.

He never did completely brush away the guilt that accompanied every passing thought of Hange. There was this strange acceptance though that appended it, and it had him a little more discerning, a little more prudent.

If he couldn’t have her, he could always just keep her close in his own personal way.

“Have you heard of the love alarm?”

How long had she been there? How long had she been talking?

Right, Levi was on a date. She had said words before that question and Levi could have sworn they had exchanged greetings even before that.

“In passing,” Levi said. He manifested some reality from the words, as if a firm response was enough to forget decades worth of overtime and testing.

“It’s this application we can use to test compatibility… So at least we know if this could work.”

Levi listened with some fake intent as she explained how the love alarm worked. He made sure to nod at points where her tone had gone a little higher or louder.

“What do you think?” There was some finality to her voice, an expectant look on her face.

Levi hummed in thought.. “I don’t believe in using an app to check compatibility. What about when we consider circumstances? Get to know each other… Then decide if it could work?”

She looked at her phone for a second, then back at Levi, her brows furrowed in confusion.

Levi shook his head. “Sorry, I just don’t believe in things like the love alarm, it seems just like horoscopes or Myer Briggs to me. Compatibility, relationships, they’re just gonna be choices we make anyway.” He found himself guiltily looking away as he said those last points.

The pout that played at his date’s lips was evidence enough, there probably wouldn’t be a second date. “It’s not like our love alarm’s would have rung anyway,” she said.

It had been a while since Levi dated though and he started to realize, maybe his filter and his social skills had rusted just a bit.

***

Love is a choice.

It looked like he might have been the only one to believe that. He had managed to piss off countless other dates with his own ‘love is a choice’ schtick.

And he had been dating semi regularly for the past year already. Yet, nothing was coming up fruitful.

How the hell did Hange even manage to get married? Or maybe Hange had just been the exception. He then concluded, Hange just had too many other loveable qualities which could make anyone want to snap her up early on.

The more he entertained the thought of Hange, the heavier his own chest became. Then he stopped entertaining her then the cycle would start again, a very vicious cycle.

It just so happened that sometimes the thought of ‘Hange’ manifested as some domineering thought. ‘Love is a choice’ and the strange sensation that came with his whole body protesting, rebelling in their own little way worked hand in hand.

He was confused and consequently desperate enough to open the mood alarm for some inkling of comprehension. He would focus on the way the colors switched among one another, disappearing, always revealing a yellow and a light blue dancing between one another then always ending with a light blue.

Sometimes he was blue. Sometimes he was green.

Ane he continued to check. After all, he mood alarm had become a beautiful and constant companion. He had deleted the love alarm but kept the mood alarm close.

“What do you think of the love alarm?”

How many people are gonna ask about that fucking application?

Zeke had just been a little too good at marketing. It was the nth time someone had broken the ice of a first date with that fucking question and Levi regretted not making a drinking game out of it. Maybe he would have been able to drink enough to forget that cursed product.

“Are you okay?” his new date asked.

He had spent the past few minutes too silent, not thinking. “Nifa…” That was her name right? He cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”

She looked as nervous as he did, or even more nervous. That part was comforting at least. In a way, her demeanor seemed a little more pleasant, more genuinely curious than wary. “I asked just a second ago, have you ever used that love alarm?” she said in response.

Levi followed the same script. "In passing."

“Would you like to try it out? Just to make sure we’re on the same page, relationship wise.”

“I’d rather we relied on circumstances and compatibility to make the choice for us. Get to know each other maybe…” When it came to suggestions, Levi had revised his script just a bit. Too many people got offended by his invalidating horoscopes and Myer Briggs type for some weird reason. “Like get to know each other, like…” Levi trailed off for a second, allowing himself a pregnant pause. ”... Elizabeth and Darcy?”

Nifa had cocked her head to the side curiously, thought for a long second and smiled just a bit wider. “You read Pride and Prejudice?”

Levi nodded subtly. “A while back,.”

She paused for a second, seeming deep in thought. “Well… Now that I think about it, you might be right,” Nifa said. “This compatibility thing… Your idea of love. I think it makes sense.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, why?” Nifa asked.

Levi dropped his shoulders in relief, the weight of at least a hundred failed dates fell off his shoulders. “I’ve been dating for years and I feel like you’re the only one who actually said that.”

Nifa didn’t reply immediately and the longer Levi sat there, the more clearly he saw her face. Surprise morphed into something that seemed more like pity. Then, the chronic pang in his chest came back.

A first love did that to people maybe? A painful first love lost had that special power to maybe just twist his own philosophies, to make him almost disgusted at his own creations and the way it had challenged his own convictions.

Are you scared? Levi thought to himself. He couldn’t be too sure how he was handling himself in front of Nifa. He looked down at his hands, opening and closing them a few times and if he looked closely, he could almost feel those uncomfortable twinges in his wrist that came from years of coding.

“I’m willing to put the time into it if you are.” Nifa’s voice was more gentle and it flowed as if she had sensed the stiffness in his voice.

Levi didn’t respond immediately and suddenly their little corner of the crowded cafe was eerily silent. There was a melancholy that had blanketed their little corner despite the Saturday afternoon crowd.

Nifa seemed like she was trying to break away from it with some light conversation. “Hey, have you heard of the mood alarm?”

“The mood alarm?” Levi let that half smile creep up his lips, just high enough to be more invisible than obvious. Three words from a stranger and his emotions were reduced to a mess.

He once again felt that twinge again at his rests and that sleepless night, and her. He was remembering her in his office through sleepy exhausted eyes, with a cocktail dress and a sandwich bag in one hand.

There was also something amusing and painfully ironic about hearing his own brainchild, from someone so casually, as if it had turned into some household name while he wasn’t looking.

The conversation was getting painful, painfully interesting and the masochist in Levi was gripping him and pulling him back to reality. “Like the love alarm…” Levi added.

“Well, they’re products from the Jaeger corporation… You know the Jaeger family right?” Nifa added.

Levi could only be thankful he hadn’t been sipping at his tea then. He probably could have choked. How could he ever forget Zeke Jaeger?

He might have gotten a lot better at hiding his own disgust or Nifa could have been too deep in thought. She continued to talk. “They bought Love Alarm a few years back.”

“I know the Jaeger family,” Levi said.

“So you know about their eldest son, the heir of the Jaeger corporation… And his partner?”

Levi took a sip of tea, not bothering to respond.

Nifa may have taken that as a ‘no.’“His partner was working towards a PhD in psychology and apparently that was her final project. The codes for the mood alarm are very similar to the love alarm apparently."

“Oh?” Levi asked, feigning interest.

Soon, it turned into something genuine. Nifa was offering new information. “She got the PhD a few years ago and soon after that, the application was launched. And now they’re launching a solution for hospitals.”

“What kind of solution?” Levi asked.

“Wait, have you ever used the mood alarm? Or do you know how it works?” Nifa asked. “Anyway, I realized I ended up digressing here… The point I was trying to make is, the one who developed the mood alarm was able to prove that whatever measurements they use for the love alarm, are related to emotions. And what if, understanding how we feel when we work towards a relationship is a better determinant of whether the relationship could work?”

Levi nodded quickly, an attempt to be polite. At that point though, he wasn’t too interested in the point she had been trying to make “I’m familiar with the application and how it works. But you mentioned something about a solution for hospitals…” He didn’t think it was worth lying. He didn’t need a long winded explanation of the alarm he made. He needed an explanation of what Hange had been making."

Nifa didn’t seem to get the message. “So, the application will determine your emotions for you--- I have one right now and we could use it over time to articulate how we feel.” She pulled out her phone and dropped it on the table. “I think analyzing our own emotions would do a better job than relying on how the love alarm processes the emotions.”

There was something surreal about seeing a user explain it to him, as if they knew it more than him.

For a while, he couldn’t help but just entertain the possibility that in her own way, Nifa may have known more. With someone explaining and demonstrating, he was more easily able to make sense of the changes that had been implemented since Hange acquired it.

The app icon was reminiscent of the love alarm, two rings around it but instead of a heart in between, there was an icon, an elegant cross between a flower and a color wheel.

Red. Blue. Yellow. In between the primary colors were purple, green and orange.

Nifa activated it and held the phone between her fingertips. Just like the night when Levi had first played with it, the colored blobs swam amongst one another again, each blob would disappear one by one, leaving the remaining colors.

Yellow and Orange. “Looks like I’m happy,” Nifa commented. “So apparently the new dashboard allows us to connect this reading on the phone to a PC and get a more detailed explanation, numbers, heart rate, all the like.”

“You seem to know a lot about the app,” Levi mused.

Nifa cocked her head to one side. “Well, I’m into psychology too. I work as a psychologist in one of the hospitals. Our hospital is one of the first ones to buy software licenses so I’ve done my research.” She hummed, looking straight at him for a second as if studying him. “Now that I think about it, your job wasn’t on your profile. What do you do for a living?”

Levi’s response was automatic. “IT work.” He was suddenly self conscious about even mentioning the word ‘developer.’

“Ooooh... So you’d probably figure out how this app works much faster than I would.” Nifa sighed. “And you could probably help reassure me about this."

“Reassure you about what?”

“I’m honestly pretty nervous about rolling out this software.”

“Why?”

“Well, it’s relatively new, a few bugs would come up here and there.”

“All softwares are going to face new bugs with every update. It’s never ending,” Levi said nonchalantly.

“Spoken like a true IT guy,” Nifa joked. She took a sip of her shake and stared down at his tea and up at him again. “Say, since you’re in IT, you think you can hook us up with someone?”

“Hook you up with someone?” Levi asked. His mind was going places more suited for a tinder date than a conversation on career. He raised one eyebrow in question. He couldn’t be too sure of what she meant just yet.

It looked like she had started to understand that double entendre. Nifa blushed then let out a cough. “No, no. Our company is looking to build a small support team.”

“An IT support team?” Levi asked.

“Well, people who could focus on learning the product, dealing with whatever bugs, testing them, compiling them and sending them over to the Mood Alarm team. You think you’d know anyone tech savvy? Maybe familiar with how biotechnology works?

“I could try to look around…” Levi said.

“Great!” Nifa chimed

By some magic, the conversation shifted elsewhere. Nifa had a way with conversation, keeping some sort of a flow, talking about her own job and getting him to talk about his freelance projects.

Levi’s thoughts on the hospital solution though were an ubiquitous part of his mind space.That was the whole point of the investment right? Back then, Zeke and Hange had plans on selling it to hospitals.

And there was a free trial. That night, Levi had been curious enough to click the ‘book a free trial button’ and to even fill out the first few lines.

Organization name? He didn't have one.

Purpose? To catch up with his own brain child maybe.

He ended up staring at the blank screen for a while, wondering where the hell he would get an organization and a valid purpose.

He wanted to check it out, he really did. And he was a little salty that they required a background check before they even allowed trials for a project he created.

Curiosity became desperation. With desperation, came creativity, audacity. He took his phone with the intention of just asking Nifa a few questions, only to see there was an unread message from her.

Thanks for today! I had a lot of fun. Hopefully, we can plan something soon. I might be busy with work this week but maybe the week after?

Levi stared at her message and composed a quick reply, pleasantries forgotten.

You mentioned something about IT support openings in the hospital...

***

The hiring manager introduced himself as Moblit but he didn't say much else. Instead, he spent the next few minutes looking through Levi's resume, his brow wrinkled.

"Is there something wrong with my resume?" Levi asked, breaking the silence. He had kept it minimalistic, only sticking to odd jobs the past five years.

Moblit shook his head. "Nothing, it just doesn't look like you have support role experience."

"Do I need experience in a support role? I think I'm familiar enough with how apps work to stand in as one," Levi said. Should he mention that he had done the support work before?

"So you've compiled tickets, sent them over to developers?"

I'm the developer who deals with those bullshit tickets. He thought to himself. On the outside though, he nodded and leaned a bit more forward on the table. It wasn’t too difficult to show interest. He was genuinely interested, having given in to that curiosity-turned-desperation.

"Well, if you're interested in taking the job then…” Moblit said. “Let's see how much you know about the mood alarm app." He opened a folder. "It's a relatively new solution, so I don't expect you to know much but if you've heard of the love alarm?"

"I have."

"Well they're from the same corporation…"

Information on their history flew into one ear and out the other. "Do you have any more questions for me?" Levi asked. He could have interrupted Moblit there but he didn’t want to hear about a history he actually experienced first hand.

Moblit cleared his throat. "Well, if you could tell me how you think the mood alarm works? Then I’ll give you a list of common bugs and can you tell me how you will go about raising them to developers?

***

Six years hadn’t done much to make him forget. He had been working with the love alarm for almost a decade after all.

And the mood alarm? He had a strange connection to it, he couldn’t explain.

The code wasn’t open source. Of course it wouldn’t. That was an enterprise application and they wouldn’t want any hacker just randomly getting it. Yet, why did he feel so offended at not having access?

“Hey Levi, how would you handle this?”

“Handle what?” Levi didn’t look up from his monitor immediately. The voice and the question have all were all too familiar and it wasn’t urgent anyway.

“Levi, take a look…” Farlan seemed more frustrated than a second ago.

Levi looked at Farlan’s screen. Another display issue. He was all too familiar with the bugs and it looked like the love alarm and the mood alarm were coming up with the same issues. “Click the activate button three times really fast, right click the desktop, select inspect and take a screenshot. We send it over to the developers on the mood alarm team,” Levi said. That had become routine after a while, yet somehow, his two colleagues Farlan and Isabel were still asking questions.

Maybe because he was the only one who understood what the hell the developers needed to see to actually get to the bottom of the problem.

“Make sure to check it in both light mode and dark mode,” Levi said. “And also, there’s a known bug for the phone app, check if turning on the alarm affects your ability to receive notifications from other apps.” Those words had sent a wave of nostalgia through him. That was one of the bugs he had gotten around to fixing with the love alarm.

“Hey...”Isabel’s voice sounded from next to him. Levi turned around, almost jumping when he saw she had been close enough to look over his shoulder. “What are you researching?”

It wouldn't look good if he slacked off at work in front of colleagues a good few years his junior. Levi closed the tab. “Just my own research on mood alarm.” And when he looked at his codes a little longer, then back at Isabel who seemed almost confused, Levi realized it had looked more like extra work than anything else.

He spent the whole morning on ‘extra work, watching the API calls, making notes to himself to check the codes he had sent Hange years back just to see how much had changed.

“You finished all your tasks today and you still wanna do research on the mood alarm?” Farlan asked, a look of utter amazement on his face.

“What can I say? This app is pretty interesting.” it wasn’t a lie. Watching the growth of his own child from afar, was a fun thing to do.

“It honestly feels like you’ve done this type of work before."

“I did something similar,” Levi said.

“What kind of place did you work in before?” Isabel asked excitedly, her tasks also forgotten.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Levi answered, his tone unchanged.

“Something like the love alarm?”

Levi nodded. “Maybe that’s the reason I can figure things out pretty fast,” he said. The best plan of action was to digress.

“So that means we could make you handle the harder cases?” Farlan snickered.

“I’d rather you learn how to deal with others on your own,” Levi said. “I’ve worked with these apps for a long time. The bugs never end.”

***

“Moblit’s saying you’re doing a pretty good job picking out the bugs,” Nifa spoke above the bustle of the lunch time crowd.

“Are we?” Levi asked. He kept his words brief, not wanting to waste too much energy speaking over the others in the hospital cafeteria.

“Well, he was talking about you mostly,” Nifa said. “Most big issues get resolved with each release. And Moblit was saying that our support team just gives really good feedback.”

“The developers do the work. All we do is find the bugs.” Levi started to pick more meticulously at his salad

Nifa shook her head. “I think the support team deserves credit too. It’s difficult figuring out whether issues are user issues or there’s really a bug. Isabel also told me you find ways to reproduce it quickly.”

“Do I?” His responses were getting less and less creative. There just wasn’t much to say and the compliments were making him more and more uncomfortable by the second.

Moblit was a life saver. He had broken out of the crowd, running to Nifa, an urgent but excited expression on his face. “Nifa, you’ve got to hear this.”

Levi used that brief distraction to shovel more salad into his mouth.

Moblit had spoken just beneath the sounds of other conversations and Levi couldn’t make out what he had said. He did make out the urgency in Nifa’s face and the excitement. Whatever Moblit had said was contagious.

“When are they coming?” Nifa asked, her voice much louder than Moblit’s.

Levi stood up, gathering his plate, his utensils and his unfinished salad. “If I’m not supposed to be in this conversation…”

Moblit shook his head. “Levi, no, please stay. I’d rather you hear this since this is related to your line of work too.”

“Why?” Levi raised one eyebrow.

“Zeke Jaeger and his partner Doctor Hange Zoe, they’re planning to visit,” Moblit said.

Levi couldn’t even tell what expression he had on then.

Maybe Moblit had interpreted shock as confusion. “Zeke Jaeger is the owner of the love alarm. Hange Zoe’s the creator of the mood alarm… In case you didn't know.”

***

“Hey, I wanna see her… Is this how she looks like?” Isabel’s voice was a whisper, a very loud whisper. “She looks smart.”

Farlan’s voice wasn’t any softer. “Well, that’s what you’d expect from the mastermind behind the mood alarm right? I heard Zeke Jaeger bought her the love alarm so she could look through the code and make the mood alarm for herself.”

“Where did you hear that?” Isabel asked.

“Watch the interviews.”

The click and clack of the keyboard. Then there was the sound of voices coming from the loud speaker from Farlan’s computer.

Then Hange’s very familiar voice.

Levi didn’t want to listen. “You know, if you spend too much time looking through this. You’re not gonna get anything done.” He forced his voice into something louder than what he was comfortable with. “Don’t you two have other tasks to do?”

“Aren’t you excited to meet them?” Isabel rolled her chair next to Levi.

No way in hell am I meeting them. “I’m planning on taking a leave,” he said.

“Wait, why?” Isabel seeming heartbroken, as if Levi taking a leave was the most terrible thing in the world.

“Well, as employees we’re entitled to leaves right?” Levi asked emotionlessly, willing himself not to at all be affected by Isabel’s puppy dog face.

Farlan sighed. “You’re the best one at this type of work among the three of us. You know, this is a good opportunity for you to get noticed.”

“I don’t wanna get noticed,” Levi said, as he focused back again on the screen, refreshing their ticketing software a little bit faster that time. It really was an uneventful afternoon. He couldn’t blame Farlan and Isabel for doing nothing.

“It’s a big money, a chance at a big career move,” Farlan said, raising his voice as if that could have done anything to convince Levi.

Levi looked up from the monitor and back to Farlan. “Do you really want me out of here?”

Farlan shrugged. “I dunno, you just seem too overqualified for this kind of job.”

Levi sighed. “Believe me, I’m happy to be here.” He continued to click refresh, just in case anything could have halted that already seemingly awkward conversation. The reason why he didn’t want to run into Zeke or Hange… Was it written all over his face?

Just in case Farlan and Isabel were mind readers, Levi kept quiet, kept his eyes glued on the screen and he prayed the day would get busier somehow.

It did. But it got busy so close to the end of the day and overtime seemed inevitable.

“We’re not receiving any readings.”

The same exact fucking line, from ten different customers from different hospital branches around the country. “You’re fucking kidding me,” Levi muttered.

He opened all the test devices, only to find, none of them were receiving readings from the mood alarm either. He was sure though, he was annoyed, very very annoyed. Maybe even angry. “Try testing,” he ordered.

Farlan and Isabel were more emotional than he was. If it didn’t work for them, it probably wasn’t working at all.

They had full trust on him. Isabel and Farlan nodded and they went through the devices quickly. All test devices exhausted and there was nothing much to do. Levi was convinced it was an issue that could only be investigated on the backend. “We’re done for the day.”

“We have to send a report right?”

Levi started to pack his bag. “Send a report saying we’re not getting any readings,” he said with a shrug. “It’s probably a backend issue or an issue with their API.”

“You sure we can’t do anything from our side?” Farlan pressed.

Levi shook his head. “None.” He logged out, slung his backpack over his shoulder and exited the office.

He sensed their disappointment in him. In his months working there, Levi had never left the office without doing a thorough investigation and writing a detailed report.

That might be the first time in months, they would give something completely unhelpful for the developers. That wasn’t Levi’s intention though. There were just some things that were better off investigated on his own personal PC.

For the first time in a while, Levi didn’t go straight for the shower when he arrived back home. He booted up his own PC. When he checked his cloud account, he found the private repository with all the codes from the love alarm and the mood alarm was still there.

It hadn’t been touched in years though.

He scrolled through the code, allowing that wave of nostalgic to wash over him gently. Having been the only one who worked on the base, Levi was very very familiar with it. Memories came quickly with the nostalgia. There was a point where the server was down and he remembered the hundreds of support tickets about the temporarily malfunctioning love alarm.

No readings were coming through. Levi did a quick calculation of the time zones of his own city and of the mood alarm headquarters. Then he looked through the code again.

Convinced that it was a fair theory, Levi opened his pseudo email, entered the support email for the mood alarm and left just one sentence on the email body.

I’m convinced one of your devs left a debugger on one of these codes on the backend.

A few years ago, he had been guilty of leaving a debugger running overnight,  fucking up the whole command system of the love alarm.

He copied and pasted a part of the code and the sent the email off. For all he knew, the mood alarm could have branched off far from the love alarm, rendering his theory completely stupid. Still, it was a theory worth entertaining.

The issues from work forgotten, Levi started to open his other emails, finding one from Petra on the third page, dated months ago.

Just a reminder that he hadn’t opened that email in months. “A wedding invite?”

Petra Ral and Oluo Bozado invite you to celebrate their wedding…

He didn’t need the rest of it to convince himself to go. He only needed to look at the date under, conveniently a week after Hange and Zeke were scheduled to visit the hospital where he worked.

He sent off two emails that night.

One to Petra, a very very late RSVP.

Then one to management, a request for a two week leave. For personal reasons.

A wedding always made a good personal reason. That was probably only half his actual personal reason though.

***

“I didn’t even expect you to come.” Petra seemed happy.

It could have been the make up or her natural blush. She was a glowing bride, glowing bright enough that Levi was starting to feel lonely.

“It’s been a while,” Levi said. “And you two are looking good.”

“How’s life abroad?” Petra asked.

“It’s fine,” Levi said.

“You adjusted well?” Petra asked again.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Levi took a sip of his wine.

“You managed to get a software engineering job there?” That time it was Oluo who asked.

“Something similar,” Levi said. He started to shake his glass a bit, feigning deep consideration. Maybe that would explain his inability to respond. In truth, he was in no mood to make conversation but when the bride and the groom had gone out of their way to sit next to him on the bench outside their party, and they had gone through all the trouble of asking, it was only polite that he kept his side of the conversation.

Somewhere along the exchanges, Petra brought up a question. And whether it had been appropriate or not, Levi couldn’t tell but he thought it worth an answer at least.

“Have you met anyone?” Petra asked.

“What?” Levi responded.

“I dunno… I guess someone who makes you feel good? Someone who manages to ring your love alarm?” Petra gave him a knowing look.

Levi only had to shift his gaze from Petra to the seemingly blank face of Oluo to know, Petra had at least kept that part to herself. To the others, his alarm ringing with Hange could have been just a bug.

Levi shook his head. “I haven’t touched the love alarm in years,” he admitted.

Petra seemed more understanding. “We haven’t touched it in years either.”

Levi raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

Petra stared ahead, looking deep in thought. She turned to Oluo. “Well, I guess a part of us wanted to build this organically, get to know each other first. And maybe that’s the best way to find people. I think the love alarm just causes unnecessary chaos sometimes.”

Levi only had to look back at his past five years to see it. To be honest, he could actually put the blame on the love alarm for completely uprooting his life. He couldn't say he totally agreed though. He didn’t regret the time with Hange either.

But he wasn’t going to deny her credit where credit was due. “You make sense.”

It wasn’t as simple as that though. Somehow, Hange’s own words had torn into the silence. Just for him. The love alarm causes chaos but sometimes it can tie loose ends.

And for him, it had been both. It had caused chaos but somehow, meeting Hange, having gotten to know her, having gotten to talk to her had tied some loose ends inside him.

What kind of loose ends? He couldn’t be too sure.

“Even when you don’t use the love alarm now, have you met other people?” Petra was still very interested in his love life.

Oluo should have been silently uncomfortable about that. Levi couldn’t tell with a quick glance.

“I’ve met a few people though… There’s someone named Nifa,” Levi said,

“Next time you come here, you’ll take her for a visit? Make sure to introduce us to her?” Petra asked.

“Or maybe next time, it will be us visiting,” Oluo added.

The brief conversation ended soon after, with a few exchanged greetings and a promise to bring Nifa. In case something ever happened between him and NIfa.

By the end of the night, he had made a promise to himself not to use that love alarm to find his next love.

Petra was right, the love alarm could cause unnecessary chaos. Besides, love is a choice right?

***

Levi came back from his very relaxing two week leave to two words that made his stomach turn.

Doctor Zoe. That was what Farlan and Isabel called her.

“Doctor Zoe…” Levi repeated. The words tasted unfamiliar. Suddenly, the road trip, the beach trip and just the quiet meetings in the cafe all seemed like just a fevered dream.

“And she stopped to talk to all of us!” Isabel sang, her eyes filled with wonder. “You should have stayed. I swear, I feel like you would have gotten along. She never stops talking. You two could have talked about the mood alarm for hours.”

“She sounds tiring to be with,” Levi said, an attempt at a halfhearted reply.

Farlan grinned, an alarmingly knowing expression on his face. “Don’t lie, you would have enjoyed at least listening. You’re way more enthusiastic about the mood alarm than we are.”

“I’m just being a good employee.” Levi shook his head, as if that was enough to erase the regret that shoved itself into his throat and down to his chest.

“She really made sure to talk to everyone,” Isabel said. “And she stayed for a few days longer. Maybe the plans changed since she went alone.”

“Wait, she came alone?” Levi said. Don’t regret. Don’t you dare regret leaving.

Farlan nodded in response. “Moblit explained this to us before they came.” He turned to Isabel as if expecting some explanation from her.

“I can’t be too sure either, I’ve only heard a bit about it. And rich people like the Jaegers, they like to keep their personal lives a secret right?” Isabel answered.

Farlan shrugged. “Anyway, from what Moblit told me, they intended to visit all the major customers including our hospital chain. They’ve been planning this tour for months, maybe even years but Doctor Zoe ended up going alone.”

“Did you ever find out why?” Levi kept his voice soft, anything louder and he might just look more invested. He turned back to the unopened tickets on his screen. From his peripherals, he could see Farlan and Isabel exchanging glances.

It was Farlan who spoke up. “I have a theory.”

“Tell me,” Levi said.

“They fought.”

“Okay, couples fight.” Levi continued to click at the tickets, opening them one by one, just to feel productive.

“Yeah, but it must have been a big fight right?” Isabel added. “I did some research on Doctor Zoe after we met her and apparently, they were having problems even years ago. Apparently, there are rumors that her husband bought the love alarm to save their marriage.”

“Where the hell did you get that info?” Farlan sounded incredulous.

Isabel chuckled mischievously. “The dark, dark internet.”

“That can’t be true.” Farlan shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t really prove it anymore. A lot of the threads online that actually discuss this get taken down by the admin. But I swear, now that I think about it, it does make sense. I read some articles, no one expected Zeke Jaeger to buy the love alarm… Some said he did it to save the love alarm after a major bug showed up that could have prevented PR….Apparently, there was a certain point a few years ago, where there were photos of Doctor Zoe with another man. I tried looking for the photos but I can’t find them anymore.”

“You really got invested in her love life huh?”

Isabel groaned. “I couldn’t help it. She seemed so nice and she talked to us a lot even when we were just support, she took the time to teach us and she’s just so humble…”

“But what if she really did cheat on her husband?” Farlan challenged. “I mean, the rumors have to have been there for a reason right?”

“Do you think she looks like the type to cheat?” Isabel asked. “That very honest and open face?”

Farlan coughed in surprise. “She doesn’t for sure---but rumors don’t come out of nowhere right?”

“You two, go back to work,” Levi said. While the two had been working, he had been assigning tickets to them, an ingenious way to compose himself.

“Wait not yet, what do you think Levi? You might have better intuition than we do.”

“Intuition?” Levi repeated, one eyebrow raised.

“Does she really look like the type to cheat?” Farlan asked.

Levi continued to stare at the screen, not willing to risk showing them whatever expression played at his face then. “I didn’t meet her. You two did so you’re better qualified to answer that question. Tell me, does she look like the type to cheat?”

Farlan paused for a second, then narrowed his eyes at Levi. “I think I have a question which you might be more qualified to answer,” Farlan said. “You’re pretty good at finding bugs. Have you ever done research on the love alarm bug? What do you think the bug was… The one which made Zeke Jaeger buy the app?”

“I don’t think there was a bug,” Levi said.

“What do you mean?” Farlan pressed.

“Get back to work you two.” Levi kept his voice firm, loud and authoritative. Something he would have rather not done, if it hadn’t been for the weight which came with what should have been a light piece of gossip, and his whittling ability to keep a stoic demeanor.

The deep dark internet. Levi watched his two companions. Their eyes were once again fixed on the screen, Farlan’s fingers were flying over the keyboard, Isabel was playing with some test device.

Deep enough at work for Levi to take his own quick break. He opened an incognito tab and put his headphones on.

One video or one article, and he’d get back to work. He found an interview, the opening questions had been the same familiar ones Farlan had been playing on speaker months ago.

He played the first few questions at twice the speed. He knew the answers already.

What inspired you to make the mood alarm?

“Love alarm… Codes… Yadayadayada…” Levi muttered just a loud enough for himself. Hange had been careful not to mention anything about a developer. He could see the way she had shifted gazes for just a second, seeming uncomfortable.

He couldn’t blame her. Isabel had said so herself, in the deep dark internet, maybe there were rumors of an affair.

And some journalists were aware.

Personal Life? Around the point that someone asked about her personal life, Levi slowed the clip down. They had timed it, to the exact point where Hange had tensed up and looked away for just a second.

“Can you tell us about your relationship with Zeke Jaeger? How has it been?”

“How did you feel when you realized he bought you the love alarm? Is it true he bought it to win you back?”

Hange was admirably professional about it. “We’re digressing now,” she said with a light hearted tone, a laugh which seemed more rehearsed than actually Hange’s.

Is it true you had an affair with another man? It wasn’t loud enough for Hange to have heard it, just a sound among others. When Levi had been looking for that question and it rang more loudly for him. He rewinded the video a few times just to make sure.

What the hell… No we didn’t… We. Didn’t. Have. An. Affair.

“Levi, are you okay?” Isabel asked

“What?”

“You were talking to yourself just now.”

Levi quickly closed the tab as Isabel looked over his shoulder. “Nothing, just looking at tickets,” he said. He went back to their ticketing application, opened a few more tickets and decided to table the research until later that evening.

***

The deep, dark internet.

With his own personal wifi and his own VPN, Levi had more wriggle room to dig deeper.

There was a mention of a fight, a marriage on the rocks, and the rumors only grew from there. The more Levi found, the more courage he mustered. It turned out, the process of scrolling through threads, joining chat groups had been nothing but liberating.

Liberating but infuriating.

The internet was an aggregate of bad takes and the occasional good one. From bad takes came horrible half baked rumors.

I swear, if they end up divorcing…

Jaeger should have dumped her fucking ass from the start.

Slut…

Whore…

Hange Zoe. Fucking gold digger.

There were rumors that she had manipulated Zeke for the money. Rumors that she had only married him to complete her PhD.

Levi quickly went through those.

Some of the people were nice though and Levi read those comments a little more slowly.

The mood alarm was Zoe’s deal.

The money Jaeger put into was a donation.

If they’re not happy, let them divorce.

And there were videos, particularly zoomed videos in events of Zeke and Hange in conventions and conferences, the latest one only a few months ago. Before Hange  had visited the hospital.

In the most recent one, they were talking, just at the corner behind the stage, still visible from the camera. Levi rewinded the video again and again just to confirm their identity.

The Hange on the screen seemed indignant. Zeke had pulled her in by the waist, she pulled away. In response, Zeke had once again gone for her hands, pulling her towards him.

Just like back in the school gym.

It was different, that time in the gym Hange had been accepted yet determined at the same time. The Hange on the video, or the least, the one he could make out from the flailing of her hands, the stamping of her food on the ground, the moment she had pulled away then turned away was telling.

Hange wasn’t accepting anything anymore.

Levi scrolled through the comments.

If Hange Zoe divorces Zeke Jaeger… If she keeps possession of the mood alarm... she’s a gold digger.

She needed Jaeger funds to complete PhD… It’s Zeke Jaeger’s PhD not hers lmao XD

It was around the fifth most liked comment when Levi closed the tab, not bothering to bookmark the site. That was enough internet toxicity for the day.

***

“You’re transferring me?” Levi had ended up preempting the discussion.

Nifa and Moblit looked at each other, then back at him. Then Nifa nodded.

Moblit shook his head, creating some confusion. “No, we wanted your opinion on this first. The city we’ll be transferring you to isn’t very… convenient.”

“But you will be paid more,” Nifa said.

Since no one actually wants to live there. A fact no one actually admitted during those types of meetings but Levi had been in corporate long enough to know.

“And it’s just for a few years,” Moblit said, his tone, a tone of reassurance more than actual confidence. “Our hospital got special permission to do testing and research and we’ll need one support guy there. This is an important project for our hospital so...”

Levi had done a quick google search of the city under the table, a name he never heard of, and just the picture of a very sleepy town with not many buildings with even two floors was indicative. There was a reason why Moblit and Nifa seemed uncertain about a transfer.

There wasn’t much he did anyway in that city. How could moving away be any different?

“What’s this research about?” Levi asked.

Moblit responded to that more clearly and more confidently. “We’re planning to do further research, create programs for kids who grew up in difficult households to help them process emotions better. We’re starting with a few kids, on a small research facility up north… And having someone on call would be helpful.”

It didn’t take much to convince Levi after that. “There isn’t much for me to miss here anyway.” Really, he would have taken that transfer even without the pay raise.

***

There was peace and quiet which came with living in the middle of nowhere. Peace and quiet had a way of making Levi unbearably bored yet at the same time more perceptive as to why the hell no one wanted to live there in the first place.

Winters were cruel, with snow piling up meters high. Even in the summers, the sky was overcast and in all four seasons, the air still found a way to be suffocatingly dry.

Someone mentioned something about lake effects and something about rain shadows, and Levi couldn’t really tell which one was it. He wasn’t a scientist after all.

He was human though, a very simple minded human with no science degree. So he let the weather affect his moods, maybe even affect his long term philosophies in life. His current environment was too different from the bustling city he grew up in, or the other urban jungle he had lived the past five years of his life, he deemed his new home, the epitome of the middle of nowhere.

It was completely unfamiliar and by some psychological consequence to Levi, it was too far flung from his old life for Levi to even entertain anything about his old life, beyond work. So it became easier to take a more pragmatic approach at reminiscing.

A few months into his transfer, he had even started reading articles on Zeke and Hange again.

Billionaire Zeke Jaeger finalizes divorce would Mood Alarm founder Hange Zoe.

Then the comments section:

That was fast.

I knew it, Zoe’s a gold digger.

There was the string of names, whore, sluts, cheaters and gold diggers that never made too much sense as sentences. So Levi quickly closed the tab.

You actually did it. He thought to himself. And when he thought a little longer about it, he realized he did feel happy for her.

Happy? Sad? Disappointed? Out of curiosity, he opened his own mood alarm and clicked activate. It glowed with a bright green.

He could have been happier.

Levi decided to blame the sky for his fickle mood. That grey view that stretched far unimpeded by any of the surrounding low rising buildings, only ending by the mountains that seemed hundreds of miles away.

The surrounding mountains and the large lake followed him to work. An overly scenic landscape that reminded him, the train back to the capital only came once a day, the train that passed through the next major city only passed three times a day.

And fucking hell, train tickets were expensive.

By some modern day definition, Levi really was trapped in the middle of nowhere.

The weather only made him more cynical, yet angrier at the tasteless comments under the news article on Zeke and Hange’s divorce. As he neared the research center, he ended up tabling that reflection with one sentence, something comforting yet oddly depressing.

Hange wouldn’t look for me. Then he brushed it away violently soon after. The audacity of even considering the prospect that he was important enough for her to want to search for him. Why would Hange care where he is?

The fact that Hange was followed by the press while he was trapped in the middle of nowhere was indicative enough. They were from two completely different worlds.

***

It may have taken months more, but what Levi clocked to a ‘bout of wanderlust’ eventually settled. He found, keeping himself busy with the right work had done wonders to placate the turmoil inside him.

Keeping busy somehow made it easier to sit up and get ready for work. It meant managing to desensitize his own moods to the weather around him.

Most importantly, it meant seeing some connection with the world, some sliver of motivation to go the extra mile with the people who worked with.

“Early as always, Ackerman.” Same greeting everyday.

“Morning to you too, Onyankopon,” Levi responded as he entered the irsmall office.

Onyankopon was a companion  duringearly in the mornings, lunch times, late afternoons and sometimes, even the dinners when he would invite Levi out for a drink in the only bar for miles around.

Still, it made life remotely eventful when the only changing things had been the weather and his work.

And his work was very eventful.

“Uncle Levi! Did you find any bugs yesterday?” Just like every other morning, the two kids would burst through the door. Or more specifically, the brunette was always the one bursting through the door, the blonde just followed.

“Gaby, you might be bothering them,” Falco said. He said that at least three times a week.

Levi had never been the type anyway to tell them he didn’t mind their morning visits. It always meant something to look forward to.

“Nothing so far,” Levi said. He looked towards Onyakopon, the one in charge of reporting issues. “Hopefully.”

Onyankopon raised his hands in defense. “Don’t get mad at me, get mad at the devs who created the mood alarm in the first place."

Levi was constantly mad at the devs anyway, if he considered that constant state of self loathing. Working on the mood alarm as support had only made Levi realize how many shortcuts he had taken into making that damn application years ago.

“There’s nothing today,” Levi said as he looked at the two kids. “But I could give you a quick lesson,” he added. He couldn’t say no to the crestfallen faces of the two kids.

He dragged one seat next to him and guided Gaby to one of them and Falco to his own seat. “When I want to look for errors in the code, I look here first.” It was a terribly boring lesson, a useless one. Support 101. At the least, the kids seemed satisfied. “If I right click here, and then inspect, I can see what this website is made out of.”

Gaby let out a breath, a mix between a ‘wow’ and an ‘oh.’ “I can’t read it.”

“It’s another language,” Levi explained. “Computers don’t understand our language. So we have to learn another language to be able to talk to them. And when we’re able to tell them what we want, they’ll do things for us, things we can’t do ourselves.”

Gaby had asked more questions after that. Falco had asked his own too, albeit hesitantly.

The difference between the network and console tabs, the meanings of the strange brackets, what happens if they just aimlessly click…

That morning session ended with less than half the questions answered, and a promise to teach them more the next morning. Like every other day before, at eight in the morning, Onyankopon brought them to the activity room and Levi was left alone in the office.

There weren’t many people in the research center, only five employees in total. After all, there were only ten to twenty kids who came and went every day, a very manageable number for five people. He and Onyankopon shared an office and with Onyankopon busy a good chunk of the day, Levi was left alone.

With his own efficient working methods and his outstanding ability to quickly pick out the bugs, Levi was usually free for a cumulated five hours a day.

When he first started working there, his five hour long breaks consisted of reading novels or whatever stupid article came up on his timeline. He could have taken longer breaks yet chose to spend them as short sporadic bouts of inactivity

By spreading out periods of inactivity, Levi managed to somehow pacify the guilt at ‘doing nothing’ while being paid for the eight hours a day. There were times, it was strong, remnants maybe of his stint with the love alarm, barely taking leaves, willingly putting him through the pain of overtime.

Some days, they were particularly strong, sometimes incomprehensible that Levi suspected they could have been related to the burning curiosity, the burning attachment to his own application that never abated.

A burning attachment, a natural need to be productive eventually resulted in sporadic bouts of unproductivity spent just testing the mood alarm all for a brief look into his own emotions.

Even when he wasn’t feeling anything in particular, the application continued to glow colors, just flitting between greens and blues. They could have been yellows or oranges maybe, when Onyankopon or Gabi or Falco visited. He had never been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve though and thus, had never opened it with them around.

That day wasn’t any different. Alone in the office, he opened it again, held it in his hands and watched the colored blobs swim amongst each other, mix amongst one another, then disappear.

Blue or Green? That day it was blue. Why blue and why not green? He could never ask. ‘How’ was always an easier question to answer. He only had to connect his phone to the PC then boot up the dashboard.

His next break, he decided to try a visualization exercise, like every other time before.

Memories never seemed to do the trick. He’d take a risk and dive deep, into his memories with Hange, his anger at the situation, the loss of a life before. Yet it all came out greens and blues. The alarm rang, an almost deafening sound in the silent room and for a split second, it had Levi attentive and a little paranoid. Levi knew though, with the thick concrete walls around him, it was a sound just for him.

He connected his phone to the dashboard and booted the PC again.

There were numbers. He switched to a bar graph view, noting how there were terms, hormones and chemicals he could only barely make sense of. But the blue and the green bars higher than usual yet still very low were signs in themselves.

That morning was a normal morning. And every morning since he built that habit had been a normal morning.

The only thing which ended up different about that day was when footsteps sounded just outside the door. If Levi had been listening closely, he would have been able to point out, those weren't a rhythm of footsteps he was particularly privy too.

But normal mornings tended to desensitize people. Footsteps weren’t particularly interesting either.

In a town with only a few hundred people, it would most likely be someone who already lived there. He continued to work. He disconnected his phone from the dashboard and played with the mood alarm in his own phone again.

The door clicked open behind him, slowly enough for the creak to sound, then fast enough for the slam to come right after yet gently.

Onyankopon always opened the door a little wider, always slamming the door behind him and in between, there was always a greeting. If Levi had been more aware of his surroundings, maybe the lack of all that could have peaked his interest.

In the grand scheme of things though, the door slamming wasn’t anything particularly interesting. Levi continued to sit and stare at his phone.

“Levi Ackerman.”

A voice in an empty room though, was always an interesting thing. By some natural inclination towards voices, any presence in a room that was always his by mid morning, Levi was listening.

Making sense of the voice was a surprisingly slow process. The mood alarm reacted first.

The alarm sounded.

A wave climbed from his chest up until his neck, there was a bristle at the back of his neck, a tickle at his ears, then something pricked at his eyes. He looked down at the alarm before he could completely understand. The colors continued to swim then mix.

They always disappeared and finalized the reading in five seconds.

A second or two passed, and the colors still didn’t look at all in a hurry to disappear.

You’re going crazy Levi. He took a deep breath. He was dreaming. Because what the fuck. Of course she wouldn’t be here. She had an international company to run.

“Levi…” The voice sang. “That’s you right?”

Don’t look back.

“Or maybe there are just a lot of developers named Levi in this world… “ The footsteps were only getting closer. “Developers who are just really good at using the mood alarm.” Then the voice was right next to him.

When she had settled on that seat right at his peripherals, he couldn’t exactly chalk it up to a fevered dream. The mood alarm in his hands continued to ring. He could have sworn at least five seconds had passed. Yet the colors never disappeared, countless colors still swimming around on the interface as the mood alarm continued to read his emotions.

Levi had never been a master of articulation. The war of colors, the chaos on the phone were the best visual representation. He struggled to find the right words, but she continued to stare from his peripherals, her face many things at once.

Apologetic? Expectant?

“It is you,” she said, triumph and relief apparent in her tone.

That only pissed Levi off more. Another emotion added to his boiling pot. Eventually Levi thought it necessary to respond. With too little time, too little mindspace to even attempt to articulate, Levi kept himself to three words, the only three which could have meant everything at once.

“What the fuck.”

In response, she let out a soft laugh. “Are you crying?”

Crying? Now that Levi did think about it, there had been a crack in her voice too. Levi looked up to see her, smiling. Her eyes were smiling too. Then he followed the tear streak that barely grazed the side of her lip.

There was enough time, enough silence for Levi to gather himself. To stare at the reading on the application that couldn’t seem to decide what emotion Levi was feeling.

With enough self discipline, enough concentration, Levi managed to speak. “Hange, if you ask people why they’re crying, you’re just gonna make it worse.”

***

There was only one tea shop in the town, a tea shop which naturally, Levi had chosen as his favorite hang out spot.

Over the months, he had grown familiar with it and in turn, it had grown to become an intimate friend. An intimate friend he had never expected to ever introduce to Hange.

Onyankopon and Moblit had joined them for tea though, and suddenly, Hange didn’t feel like Hange. It could have been the way she shifted to an ‘all business’ demeanor or maybe a part of him was still trying to rationalize what he had deemed to be a very irrational thought.

Maybe he had imagined visiting the cafe with Hange a few times. The realist inside him though, had always believed it to be impossible. At that moment, the dreamer inside him was still taking its victory lap.

“You should have told us you’d be coming. We could have set up something better than late afternoon tea,” Onyankopon said. Either way, he seemed very happy to see them.

Moblit took a sip from his cup then revealed an apologetic smile underneath as he put the cup down. “Apologies for visiting all of a sudden. Doctor Zoe is a very impulsive person.”

Hange nodded. “I hope you don’t mind. As soon as I heard about this, I hopped on the next plane just to get here as soon as possible,” she said “I’m hoping to start something like this in the hospitals back home.”

Moblit put his cup down. “Right, I never got to properly introduce you to Levi.” He turned to Onyankopon then to Levi. “But I’m sure you’ve had a fair share of introductions… You did barge into his office this morning.” He had an apologetic look on his face.

“Hey, Doctor Zoe just wanted to see how we were using the software,” Onyankopon said in Hange’s defense. “I’m more than honored to see that the founder of the mood alarm is taking the time to even wander around our facility.”

Moblit cleared his throat. “Anyway, Levi, this is Doctor Hange Zoe, the founder of the mood alarm application. She visited our main hospital a year back but if I remember correctly, you were on leave right?”

“On a personal leave,” Levi clarified. He couldn’t find much else to say. He took a long sip of tea.

“This is Levi Ackerman,” Moblit said. “One of our best in IT support. He learned how to use your application pretty fast.”

“Yes…” Hange said. “And ever since you told me about him, I’ve been very excited to meet him.” Her grin only got wider as she studied his features, her eyes giving him a good once over. “I guess that’s the reason I ended up taking my own tour of the center while you too were catching up. I wanted to see your genius IT support in action,” she joked.

It was almost unbelievable that that morning, Hange had showed a completely different side to him. She had wiped her own tears pretty fast, shifting her expression to something very professional as soon as Onyankopon and Moblit had entered the office just that morning.

The whole afternoon, Hange was busy with activities and tours of the town, Levi busy with his own work. They barely got to talk. Fortunately, that had allowed Levi time to compose himself, enough to keep a straight face when Onyankopon had invited them over for some tea.

Then and there, there were conversations of partnerships and business, almost reminiscent to whatever bullshit he had to deal with in his old company. But this conversation had Hange, and Hange had shifted her gaze towards him enough times for Levi to feel it only proper to reciprocate.

“Once this project is over, would you consider letting Levi go?” Hange asked. “I’d love to have him visit our main office, maybe help out with some of our development work.”

Moblit shook his head vigorously. “No hesitation. It always felt like he was overqualified for this type of job.”

“By the way you talk about him, I can tell.” She looked at Levi knowingly, a silent form of communication just between both of them. She turned back to Moblit then Onyankopon, her face once again all business. “There are many things I hope to still improve with this application so any support on research, troubleshooting, development is very much appreciated.”

“What do you suggest?” Moblit asked.

A quick glance at Onyankopon and Levi knew he was asking the same question.

Hange put one finger to her chin in thought “A partnership…”

It looked like they had expected Hange to talk Levi’s ear off non stop about the application. Moblit had mentioned something about going straight home while Hange discussed the partnership with Levi, mentioning bugs, the debugger that had been stuck in the system and the bugs which Levi had been quick to point out.

Levi, being respectful, had only listened.

That was until Onyankopon and Moblit offered to walk ahead, leaving Levi and Hange alone on the red brick road overlooking the large lake.

It was early in the evening but it still felt like late afternoon. The sun never set until seven or eight during the mid months of spring.

Yet, the streets was empty, bereft of anything but the both of them.

With one quick scan of their surroundings, Hange turned back to him, she bit her lip and took a deep breath.

Her demeanor was suddenly a stark contrast with the enthusiastic, eloquent one back at a cafe. The sudden transformation was enough for Levi to tense up,

Hange spoke up. “This town really sleeps early,” she commented. “You're planning on going home now too?”

“I usually go home an hour earlier, especially on weekdays,” Levi responded. “I’m only out at this time because they invited me for late afternoon tea.” Technically it was dinner.

“Do you go home….” Hange started, she paused for a second, a very out-of-place pause. “To anyone?”

It took a lot of effort for Levi to resist choking or even letting out a ghost of a laugh at that question. I’m married to my job. That was the answer that popped into his mind out of instinct.

“Did I make it time?” Hange added a second later, only reminding Levi that he hadn’t even mustered a glimmer of answer.

“Make it in time?” Levi asked, in an attempt to stall for time.

“Petra…”

“She married Oluo.”

Hange didn’t seem satisfied. “Is there someone else…” she pressed. “Someone else...”

Hange started to speak with her hands, gesturing for Levi to ‘go on,’ in some awkward wave of a hand. The first awkward gesture Hange had done since they arrived.

Levi couldn’t help but just appreciate that bout of vulnerability he could pull out of her. “There is,” he said.

Just for a second, Hange’s face fell and for a moment Levi relished it.

“Oh…” Hange turned away. “Then, I should take you home… I’d love to meet her…”

Then suddenly, Levi felt just a little bad for that trick. “I was fucking kidding,” he said.

Hange let out a loud sigh of relief, an ugly huff and she looked away, suddenly self conscious.

Levi had to admit, it was an ugly snort. He was tempted to take a good look at her face, and maybe he had craned his neck as she kept silent for a second longer. “I’m not some idiot who would marry someone just because it’s convenient," he said.

“Give me a break. I just graduated from college when I decided to get married,” Hange said. “Besides, we enjoyed each other’s company.”

“If you chose that type of life, I wouldn’t have stopped you. Besides, you had a lot on the line, your PhD, your mood alarm, the love alarm, your reputation. It wouldn’t have been easy choice to make.”

Hange hummed. “The PhD is done, my reputation, I don’t give too much of a rat’s ass about that. And the mood alarm? That has always been mine. I put my own money into building that business.”

“It definitely wasn’t cheap.”

“It wasn’t,” Hange admitted. “What if I told you, I earned my own capital for building it in one night in a casino.”

Levi's thoughts flew back to the night at the casino. He grinned. “I’d believe you.”

“So the mood alarm is mine and I managed to keep it,” Hange said. “But I never forgot you know... The plans, the codes, they’re all yours.”

“So you did get the email,” Levi said.

Hange nodded. “And the email got me thinking…” she trailed off for what seemed like an eternity.

Levi couldn’t wait. “About what?”

Hange thought for a few seconds longer, putting her hands behind her back. “That ended up one reason why I even considered leaving Zeke,” she said. “He has a different way of loving, I have a different one too. Love is freedom. Love is just trusting. Zeke on the other hand, always likes to play safe, tie people down.”

“What happened to ‘love is a choice?’”

Hange seemed unperturbed. “Love still is a choice.”

“Then why not choose to love Zeke?” Levi challenged.

Hange sighed and put one hand up. “You said it yourself, deciding to leave wouldn’t be an easy decision,” she started. “I considered three things.”

She put one finger up. “Our own views of love. Zeke sees it as a game, as an investment and he approaches it conservatively… On the other hand, I see love and relationships as a form of freedom, a risk. In love, I don't believe in playing to win.”

She put another finger up. “I considered how I was feeling, this really weird feeling, my thoughts on Pemberley then on colors.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be a slave to your emotions.”

Hange shook her head. “I’m not. I approached this methodically. Even before considering my feelings, I considered my circumstances.” She put the third finger up. “I considered the backlash, I considered Zeke’s feelings, dealing with a divorce. And that’s what brought me here, despite the criticism, despite my inability to buy the love alarm and to barely salvage the mood alarm.”

“You still gave in to your emotions.”

Hange nodded. “After thinking long and hard about it, I did. But before that, I weighed all three, and I decided to take the risk.”

“Was it worth it?”

Hange shrugged and she leaned over the rail, seeming mesmerized by the lake. “I won’t know yet but I guess, even when I thought you had someone else…” There was a flash of hurt on her face, enough for Levi to regret playing that little joke on her.

“I don’t have anyone else,” Levi clarified.

Hange continued to speak. “I still thought the risk was worth taking. It would have been unfair to Zeke if I stayed and who am I to stop you if someone makes you feel happy.” She turned back to him. “This is the way I’ll choose to love. I’ll weigh my emotions, my circumstances and my worst case scenarios. Then I decide the most loving thing to do. If I have to take a risk, I take it. And I guess, given all that, looking for you seemed like the correct decision.”

Levi couldn’t stifle that smile any longer, and he hoped somehow, his own words would stop it from getting any wider. “Well, it's too early to tell if it's a good decision.”

Hange opened her phone and opened the application. “Can we try again?”

“You wanna use the love alarm?” Levi asked. “Your ex-husband’s application.”

“It’s still your brainchild,” Hange said as she waited for it to load. She hovered her thumb over it.

“I don’t have it installed,” Levi said.

“I can wait,” Hange said. And there was no room for argument in her voice.

An awkward few minutes as Hange watched him download the application. Levi focused on the loading bar, and luckily, his biometrics were still registered from that brief experiment of a year ago.

“On three…” Hange said, her voice a little stilted.

But they didn’t finish counting or maybe they just counted at completely different paces.

The alarms rang, filling the empty space between them, two rings which never seemed to find a uniform pace. Even with a very dominant fastidious side though, Levi wasn’t thinking too much about such a small detail.

Hange’s was smiling, grinning, or whatever that was called. Her face was a mix between pure ecstasy and pure passion. She wrinkled her eyes at him, her mouth climbed into a grin wider than he had ever been used to.

She let out a loud sigh. “I was fucking scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That you would have gotten over me… I dunno, thought you might just think love was a choice, and I dunno, stop feeling whatever that love alarm thing was feeling.”

“I don’t think the love alarm works like that,” Levi said. Really, he started to realize he didn’t know how it worked.

Hange shook her head. “I’m probably just overthinking. You know… I learned how to code over the years, talked to a few developers and tried to look into how the application works,” she said.

“Did you find anything?”

“Remember when you told me that the love alarm starts to figure out for its own what love is. It creates its own definition. Something we can’t even comprehend...” Hange was still grinning, her voice coming out as breaths and sometimes sounds.

Still, Levi could comprehend most of it. “You have any theories?” he pressed. Hange always had theories.

“Soulmates? Relationships in a past life?” Hange suggested.

“Well, we can’t really look back at those right?” Levi said. “Well, what else?”

One word, one word out of Hange’s mouth. “Pemberley.”

“Pemberley?” Levi asked. Somehow though as Hange looked back at the lake, up at the sky then at the gaudy main street of that small town. Levi started to understand it himself.

“It’s ugly here,” Levi said. At first he had meant it. As Hange started to look at her surroundings then back at the lake, with a look of wonder in her eyes, Levi was sure he had meant it as a challenge.

“When you’re in love then with the person we love, everywhere starts to feel like Pemberley,” Hange completed a second later.

Does it? And he wondered why the hell, he needed Hange to point it out.

They were in an ugly town, a place people were paid to live in. The sky was constantly overcast. When it wasn’t raining, it was snowing and it snowed six months a year. When it wasn’t snowing or raining, the sky was at least threatening it.

The way that Hange had looked at it with such naive wonder, the way she had just stood there, looking at everything and back at him, Levi couldn’t help but entertain the idea of Pemberley.

Maybe give the colors a chance to show themselves? Hange didn’t say it out loud. In the moment they made eye contact though, Levi couldn’t help but just give that little piece of advice a chance, whether it had been his own or Hange’s.

He looked first at the main road and the red brick path, noting how the gaudy red, worn by the elements more than actual foot traffic seemed to still glow a bright red despite the grey undertones. He then looked to the buildings, varying shades of concrete grey yet ‘the varying shades’ of it seemed to still have some sense of novelty.

He then looked back at the ocean, the dark sky above never allowed it a more beautiful shade of blue, yet the bluish black still continued to glow. The waves only sent glimmers of silver against the dark blue. Then it was only natural that he looked up at the sky, the sky which never allowed any other shade for itself, except on a few select days a year.

The fog blocked whatever green the mountains beyond the lake would have shown him.

Looking back at Hange then back at his surroundings, he started to accept it. There were greens, reds, blues, yellows and every other color in the spectrum. The world glowed with so many colors, so many lights and sounds. His emotions were a whirlwind that spun to whatever rhythm the lights and colors blinked at.

Colors persevered and they’ve always persevered.

Emotions persevered and they’ve always persevered.

Even emotions we don’t understand ourselves. Levi added to himself.

Maybe Hange was right. That was what the love alarm had been trying to show. The one person who made the colors, the emotions all the clearer.

“This is a beautiful place,” Hange said. “And I wouldn’t mind staying here, lay low a bit, just long enough for people to forget the divorce fiasco.”

“There are a few nice places here,” Levi said.

Hange continued to stare.

Why don’t we just live here together right Levi?

I know you, you wouldn’t be able to stay out of the action.

Levi felt almost ashamed at that mystery response that seemed to pop into his head out of nowhere. We can live here long enough to get our shit together. "First things first, let’s discuss this partnership, over tea in my house.”

“Now?” Hange’s widened her eyes. And her eyes were smiling.

“Well, unless you have other plans tonight,” Levi said.

Hange shook her head. “Nothing much…”

They made the whole way back to his home in silence. Surprisingly, Levi preferred it that way. It had been enough for him to appreciate his new comprehension of his surroundings, the small details he hadn't noticed before.

It wasn’t just the view. The rhythm of their footsteps, their uncoordinated breathing, and just the way the trees rustled, the wind blew, always found a way to glow different colors. His emotions, the chaos of every moment after that were also challenging him to find their colors.

And the circumstances that had them locked in his cramped apartment, sitting over tea, with no one else watching, nothing restricting them had Levi reflecting. It probably had Hange reflecting too. They spoke unhindered with just thoughts, expressions and locked gazes.

For one reason or the other, it happened quickly and abruptly, leaving no space or time to comprehend it.

Sitting on his living room sofa right next to her. Hands clasped against the other. Her dry lips were on his.

The magic welling in his chest, the thunder that climbed quickly up his throat, persevering even underneath the grey. They were all screaming at him then, they all glowed colors.

At that moment though, he had been to tired to reflect on it for any longer. He decided to just roll with it.

It was no use making sense of it. After all, life, love and emotions... They were all just complicated that way.

[yandere-sins]

The Fox Wedding - Embrace the marriage (Kita)

Summary: You are to marry the fox spirit Kita Shinsuke after you accidentally agreed to become his wife by signing the deed to your new home. A contract is a contract, he says, but is there more to this marriage than you know? Will you be whisked away by one of the foxy twins instead, or have to marry Kita after all? Can you be with a creature that only seems tender on the surface, or will you try to run even if it might cost you your life? Choose your route carefully, you never know what these foxes are up to!

Characters: Kitsune!Kita Shinsuke x afab!Reader

Rating: Explicit   Warnings for this chapter: Yandere, Kidnapping, Forced/Unhealthy Relationship, Rough Handling, Mention of bite marks, Mention of Non-Con, Pregnancy, Mention of (not human) blood, Monsters, Mention of burns, Verbal threats

“Don’t you remember?” 

He asked you this again on that one gloomy night as you rearranged your kimono. You had gotten good at putting it on, not because you wanted to learn how to do it, but because it was the only thing that made you feel better about yourself. The way Shinsuke owned you was painful, stinging, and tear-inducing, and you felt better not having to see the countless bite marks of possession he put on you. Thus, you learned how to do it. Better you than a maid, or worse, Shinsuke himself. 

“I don’t.” 

Your answer was always the same. How long had it been that you two were wed on that sun-filled, rainy day? A month? Three? Half a year? Yet, he never stopped with his riddles, and this question was the only one that arose every once in a while. Your heart ached with the desire to go home, leave this godforsaken country to be where you belonged - where you never should have left. But of course, it wasn’t that easy. 

“I see,” he whispered, and from the moon shining in through the open windows in your shared bedroom, you could see him nod his head thoughtfully while his eyes focused on your stomach. “You were still so small back then. The smallest human I had ever met.” 

His soft smile was lost on you as you shook your head, unbelieving of his words. Shinsuke didn’t like unnecessary talks. He’d rather have a quiet morning than one filled with small talk you learned. And when he spoke, it was hard to accept what he said. Nothing good ever came from him saying your name. No affectionate string of words sounded like he meant it when he said it in the usual indifferent tone. An ‘I love you’ was quick to change into ‘Mind your manners’, and often he ignored your wishes in favor of fulfilling some kind of clan duties. 

Perhaps, the only moment you managed to catch him off-guard was when a doctor - or something close to that just less human than you liked - announced your pregnancy, but you had been too shocked to be able to react to the sincere smile on his face and the tight hug he gave you despite the news being more of a tragedy to you. It wasn’t the child’s fault, even you knew that, but from day one, you felt responsible for it yet devoid of the feeling that you could love the kid like a normal mother would. 

With your hand falling to the little bump on your stomach, you were glad it was still decent enough to not be immediately visible. Yet, as long as you were aware of the growing life inside you, the more you felt the dread of having to take care of yourself for its sake. There were worse wounds that Shinsuke could inflict on you, and unfortunately, you wouldn’t even put it past the clan to follow his lead rather than step in and stop him. It still made your blood freeze to think back to when you saw the real him for the first time. No, not him. The monster he was. 

It was hard to forget the ashen creature that brought fresh meat for the village. You always thought foxes were small, playful yet wild animals, but that didn’t seem to apply to fox spirits. These images kept flashing before your eyes as you stroked your belly reassuringly, the baby inside of you not yet in need of comfort, but you sure were. 

Fox spirits were tall as bears, and every one of them deadlier than a pack of wolves. It was bewildering to learn that Shinsuke wasn’t even fully grown yet, only six of nine possible tails emerging from his back once he turned into that beast. You could have sworn with his fox form being as tall as you were, he’d be at least grown out, and it unnerved you to imagine what he’d look like once he was. 

Even if he allowed you to pat his fur, nudged you into the affection despite smearing deer blood all over you, it was no less reassuring to know what he really looked like even if he acted like that. You had seen him snap a deer’s neck in two cleanly with his maw. You had heard him growl. And none of this made you any less afraid of your own husband, the father of your child. 

Involuntarily, Shinsuke had made you become what previously had been your worst nightmare. You were a healthy woman, so it was only a question of time until his forced intimacy would produce the child everyone around you was looking forward to. Except you, but how could you possibly be when this wasn’t what you wanted at all?

Even so, you realized the child was just another innocent soul in a much more complicated scheme of his ‘love’. One you still not understood even though he was so insistent that it existed. Nevertheless, you couldn’t let yourself be punished and endanger the little one, always seeing these huge, beastly creatures in your inner eye whenever you thought about running or misbehaving. However, you also couldn’t stop yourself from flinching when he reached over to caress your stomach, unable to forgive and, even more so, forget what all he had done to you.

Tearing you out of your life, your world even, force you into this relationship and himself on you, was small compared to the ‘lessons’ and ‘training’ he made you go through to become more fitting for your role as his wife. Your maltreated body was only one evidence of his ‘care’ and ‘love’ that he so generously had sworn to you before your wedding. There was no ‘happiness’ in sight even after being married for so long. If he thought that child made you happy, he had been wrong.

Answers. Answers would have made you happy - or at least, made this more endurable. 

“Back then, you were scared too.”

His palm clasped around your hand tightly as he began to circle it over the baby bump. He acknowledged your flinching, your fear. Though even if he noticed, he only ever did so in his favor, dismissing it to do whatever he pleased or continuing to force you into obeying his will. Shinsuke always looked serious and talked with logic, you wouldn’t have believed the slyness in all of his doings even though it dawned on you that it was one of the foxes’ main traits. 

“Back when?” you mumbled, wanting to pull out your hand but getting stuck in his grasp, sighing inwardly as you gave up on fighting him. Not when he was so close to the child. You didn’t want to risk upsetting him. 

“Twenty years? Thirty? Time--” Interrupting himself, Shinsuke let out a thoughtful hum, clearing his throat before he resumed speaking.” Time is tough to calculate when you live for so long. Day is day, night is night. Sometimes it snows, and sometimes it rains, and all the other days are mostly the same. Only now, you are here with me, and that makes me happier than anything else.”

This time, it was on you to ponder, wondering about the time frame. There was no reason to get upset about the fact Shinsuke didn’t seem to know your current age, nor how long it really had been. The message ’a long time ago’ was received by you either way. What you couldn’t rack your brain around was that there wasn’t an instance you could remember meeting Shinsuke before, especially since you hadn’t been to Japan when you were as young as he made it seem-

“Oh,” you whispered. Oh, you had been to Japan before as a child, with your family to visit friends that resided in this beautiful country. But you had forgotten all about it, how old had you been? Four? Maybe five? Now you remembered that the reason for your first trip as a teenager had been to see the country you had been to before but could barely remember since you were just a toddler back then. 

Finally sitting up from his futon, Shinsuke moved over to sit next to you, his right arm snaking around your waist while his left hand remained on your belly. “Do you remember it now?” he cooed softly, leaving a kiss on your cheek as he waited for an answer patiently. 

“There was a fox…” you mumbled, straining yourself to remember what happened so long in the past. “I think it was wounded.”

“Continue,” Shinsuke instructed gently, bringing his lips to your temple before brushing back your hair to continue down your neck, leaving pecks of affection behind wherever they wandered. 

“It was wounded, and I… I--”

“You gave me your rice ball,” he finished for you as you struggled with your words. 

“That was… you?” you slowly but surely pieced it together, and he nodded, pulling you closer to him and burying his face in the crook of your neck. His embrace was tight but less formal than any other touch he laid on you so far. A wave of honest emotions seemed to overcome him as you remembered, a voice of relief leaving him as your shared past revealed itself to you.

“But… But--” 

So many questions rushed into your head before you could even utter one of them. How much of what happened was coincidental? Was everything planned? Staged? Arranged? Your thoughts must have shown in your gaze, and though he only looked up for a split second, you were sure he noticed it as he chuckled a few times. 

“The truth is, back then, I wanted to kill you. I came back for you every day, and you were always playing in the garden, but your parents were always around watching you.”

Shinsuke sat up straight, instead now pulling you to lean on him and petting your hair. Your instinct detected hostility in his words, yet, your body told you to stay put and not allure him of the fear that crept up in you. You now remembered the silver fox you had met as a little kid, and though the memories were spare and rare, to think you could have died by his maw back then made a cold shudder run down your spine. 

“I didn’t want the humans to find out my clan was in that forest - now, this forest - I knew it would mean that I caused them to have to leave or hunters would come. However, when you did tell--”

“No one believed me…” This time you finished his sentence instead, and Shinsuke nodded. 

“I couldn’t rest, so I came back day after day, until suddenly… you were gone.” 

“Yeah, we flew back home after two weeks,” you mumbled, explaining it to him despite realizing you wished you had kept it a secret. He simply didn’t deserve knowing even a little bit more than necessary.

“Exactly.”

Gently rubbing your back, Shinsuke kissed your hair, his grip on you unbudging, but there was no notion and no feeling of yours that stayed hidden long from him. “Later I found out that the owner of that house - your family’s friends, I reckon? - were aware of us, and their ancestors were granted land from us to build their house in exchange for keeping this village and residents hidden. It’s passed down as a family secret.”

“And then…” For the first time, you sat up, and Shinsuke let you go without a moment of hesitation. Slowly, but surely everything made sense, even if those answers were less relieving than you had hoped. “I bought their house when they became too old to live there. Was that- Was that all planned?”

With your brows furrowing, you looked at his face, and Shinsuke closed his eyes for a moment thoughtfully, humming in contemplation. “Was it? Who knows. Once I learned the truth, I decided you shall be my bride.”

What a dissatisfying answer, you thought, and your expression faltered, body turning away in displeasure. For the first time since you were married, you heard him make a deep sigh, the shuffling of fabric behind you as Shinsuke inched closer, having recognized your defensive stance as telling him you weren’t all too happy with his story. 

“If we say fate brought us together, then destiny arranged everything. But I rather think that it was meant to be. You coming back to me is because we are meant for each other, [Name].”

“I don’t agree,” you muttered, feeling defeated. All this time, you had wondered how and why this all happened to you, but in the end, it really had just been Shinsuke’s doing. Part of you felt more betrayed, but the other half wasn’t actually feeling impressed by the knowledge. Disappointed, but not surprised, as a friend of yours always liked to say. “Then why the contract? Why set me up like this?”

“What do you think? Do you think you would have married me otherwise? Do you not despise me? Think that I am a monster? I think that’s what you called me before.”

The level of self-awareness was nothing you would have expected from him. Instinctively you would have liked to argue against him, but at the same time, his words depicted your feelings quite well. “Maybe I wouldn’t have thought that if you had--”

“[Name], please.” There it was again, the patronizing tone in his voice that had been the end to many of your conversations before. His arms wrapped around you from behind, lips landing at the back of your head as he mumbled into your hair. “I waited for you all this time, and know my feelings. There was simply no need for a year-long courtship and proving what I felt.”

“I could have needed it. Are my feelings that unimportant to you?”

Gripping his arms tightly, you dug your fingers in as best as you could. You had enough. Enough of his will being absolute and everything centering around him. All this misery just because he decided on marrying you long, long ago on his own. For the first time, you managed to pull out of his hold by your own strength, twirling around quicker than him being able to capture you again and complain. 

“You are a monster! I don’t care about your feelings either since you can’t seem to respect mine! I never wanted any of this!”

Gesturing loosely to him and your stomach, you made room for your anger, even getting up to stand your ground properly. You half expected him to follow, but Shinsuke kept sitting comfortable, merely lowering his eyes and shaking his head. “Calm down, [Name]. You’ll wake the whole village with your voice.”

“What if?! As if they didn’t know how I truly feel! As if they didn’t just turn a blind eye on this situation for your sake!”

“Arranged marriages are very common here--”

“But not arranged by the groom himself! And even so, you still forced me into this, I couldn’t even refuse! You… You beast! You monster! You’re the absolute worst being I ever met, and I hate you! I hate you so much!”

Finally, Shinsuke looked up again, his gaze calm and collected as always. It was the last straw that even now, he did not budge from his views, and you decided to do something you had tried to avoid ever since becoming pregnant. Turning on your heel, you marched towards the door, gripping into the depression of the sliding door to open it. As luck would have it, these kinds of doors didn’t have locks. Thus someone usually watched over you, never leaving you alone, but weirdly enough, it didn’t budge no matter how hard you pulled and tore on it, demanding quietly that it would move out of your way.

“[Name] stop. It’s not good for the baby to get so upset,” Shinsuke called after you, and you just knew he was standing up as he spoke, causing more pressure to fall onto your shoulders. You’d run away. No matter the cost, you wouldn’t stay here. Feeling the door heat up, you jumped away from it, shocked, looking at your fingers while eerie, small flames sparked up at the spot you just touched. By now, you were a little too familiar with foxfire and what it felt like, and yet, angry as you were, it only made you spin around to face him, not expecting to have his face right up in yours the moment you turned.

“I said, stop.”

“Then I won’t listen,” you hissed back at him, rubbing your fingers carefully as they trembled in fear. Never before had resisting him done you anything good, but you reached a point of no return. 

“Let’s go back to bed,” Shinsuke instructed again, his patience wearing noticeably thin as you were unbudging. “You go to bed. I am going home.”

Taking a deep breath, he stared you down with those sharp, shining eyes of his, a glare that usually made your knees buckle in fear. You never had given him such a hard time before, normally yielding before it got this far. In some way, it was thrilling, in another, nerve-wracking. 

“I’ll say it only once more,” Shinsuke warned, reaching for your wrist that you pulled away before he could reach it, slapping his hand away in the process. 

“Or what?” you spat at him, as disgusted as you could. This would end here, you decided. All of it: The fake marriage, your submissiveness, the way you played along and embraced your role as his wife until now. The child too, if you got out of this house, this village, and his clutches. 

“You saw the beast before.” Shinsuke spoke his words calm and slow, but his voice lowered dangerously as he kept up his glare unbudgingly. It was just his way of not losing his temper despite you being aware that he wasn’t going to be gentle from this point onwards. There was a never before heard tremble in his voice as he spoke again, the sentence making every inch of you freeze in fear.

Perhaps, you had needed that. One last attempt of being deviant. How else would you have learned that this place might not make you happy, but at least it was the only place that would keep you safe. Safe of Kita Shinsuke’s true nature, the one completely insane from his love for you. How else would you have known that calm waters were the deepest of them all? Deep enough to let you drown in them if you did anything to disturb them?

Maybe, being his wife wasn’t the worst there was. 

“But you haven’t seen the monster yet.”

The worst was Shinsuke himself.

a/n: Thank you for reading Kita’s route of this story, I hope you enjoyed it! I noticed last chapter that it didn’t seem as enjoyable than the Prologues, I still hope that you will move forward to explore the other routes and enjoy this experience ^-^ Let me know what you thought, that would make me very happy ♥

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[blackmissfrizzle]

Just Right (3)

Part 2

Characters: Angel Reyes x black!plussized!reader

Chapter Summary: Someone throws a wrench in the plans.

Chapter Warning: Footbal AU. Don’t hate me please 😬 angst, implied smut, and some very petty behavior.

If you want to read more here’s my masterlist and you want to be notified when I post here’s my taglist

Divider credit: @firefly-graphics

The next morning, you had a pep in your step. Angel left you in bed with breakfast and a note saying he went on a run.

Coming downstairs you heard Angel’s voice, you assumed he was on the phone and not talking to the devil herself.

“Adelita, this is a surprise.” Angel backed away from her when he heard your voice.

“Y/N,” she smiled and pulled you into a hug. Backing away she twirled your hair around your finger. “I see the drought is over. Who’s the lucky guy?” If Adelita wasn’t so damn conceited she would’ve smelled Angel on you. But of course, you wouldn’t be able to bag a guy like Angel.

Angel cleared his throat and stepped in between the two of you, grabbing onto Adelita’s hips. “Uhh, let’s leave Y/N alone. I’m sure she’s not the kiss and tell type.”

“Not around you.” She joked, patting Angel’s chest. “Once we’re done talking me and you can have some girl talk like old times. Just you’ll be the one sharing stories this time.”

The nerve. This is the second time in your life that you wanted to knock Adelita out. “Yeah sure.” You gave her a tight smile over your shoulder and went back to your room.

While walking you could hear the hushed whispers and the sounds of lips kissing. As soon as you knew you were out of sight you ran to your room and immediately started packing.

“What are you doing?” Right after Adelita left, Angel ran to you. “What does it look like Angel?”

Tugging your pants out of your hands, Angel stopped you. “You don’t have to leave.”

“And what?!” You screamed in his face. “Stay here with you and Adelita?!”

He tried to hug you, but you pushed him away. “You really must be crazy. How are you just gonna take her back?”

“She was my fiancée, she deserves the benefit of the doubt.” Angel explained like it was a one size fits all reason.

“Oh, the same fiancée that dumped you once your future was unsure.” You scrunched your face up. “The same fiancée that told you it was over through a letter? The same fiancée that was all over social media hanging out and partying while you were in rehab? The same fiancée that so happens to ‘coincidentally’ come back into your life after you just made the biggest comeback ever?” You brushed past him went out the door. “Yeah, you can miss me with that bullshit.”

Angel trailed behind you, hoping he could amend things with you. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

Whipping around you shoved him. “Yeah, you are. You know honestly, I don’t feel bad for myself as much as I do for you. I pray to God that he never makes me as pathetic as you. Have a nice life, Angel Reyes.”

Opening the front door revealed a sympathetic Mr. Felipe and an angry EZ. They both tried to stop you, but you kissed each man goodbye promising to keep in touch.

EZ waited until he saw you drive away to attack his brother. “What the fuck did you do?” Angel blocked some of his brother’s punches, but EZ managed to get some in.

Felipe was able to pull his youngest off his eldest. “EZ that’s enough!”

“Nah, Pop! You saw her. She practically ran out in tears.”

“It’s none of your damn business, Ezekiel!” Angel tried to walk away from them, but Felipe stopped him. “Explain yourself, son.”

“Adelita.” Both his father and brother groaned at that name. Now they knew why you ran out like that.

EZ didn’t have time for whatever excuse that his brother had. “You two deserve each other. And I hope when you come to your senses it’s too late.” He slammed the door on the way out, too disgusted with Angel to stay.

A few moments later Felipe followed his son out. “Pop,” Angel cried out, hoping to gain some sort of sympathy. “Not right now, Angel.” He stopped at the door and looked back at his son. “Unlike your brother I hope it won’t be too late for you to come to your senses. When you stick your head out of your ass, you and Y/N are perfect for each other.”

Once he was alone, Angel sat on the staircase wondering if he made the right decision.

Losing Angel just wasn’t about your heart breaking, but also losing your best friend. Those months spent with him was probably the best time of your life. The only thing that got you through the days were work and Rio.

At first, he assured you that he could just be your friend but someway somehow, he wormed his way into something more. You told him that you didn’t want him as some rebound, but he cockily said, “Ain’t no way I’m a rebound.” So, you stayed and started dating him.

You were reading a book when Rio came and laid his head in your lap. “Mamaaaa,” he sung kissing the little bit of your exposed fupa. “What do you want?” He was only this adorable when he wanted something like that extra cookie that would mess up his diet. “Nothing extra. Just go to dinner with me.”

“That’s it?” You closed your book and set it down to look at him curiously. “Yeah, I got a dress picked out, hairstylist and makeup artist on the way.”

“Wait, what kind of dinner is this?” Dinners with Rio never required all the hoopla. “The league always hosts a dinner for all the teams in the semifinals.”

“I know, I know, I know,” Rio trampled over your words, not letting you get a word in. “I know that dumbass is gonna be there, but I think it would be the perfect place to show him what he’s missing out on.”

If you went this would be the first time you saw Angel and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that. Last time he made you look like a fool. “I don’t know Rio.”

Sitting up, Rio picked you up and sat you down in your lap. “But mama,” he attacked your neck with his lips, adding a little bite every now and then. “I’ll be bored without you. And who am I gonna shove in a closet and fuck her like a dirty girl?”

“You’ll be fine without me for a couple of hours.”

“Alright, time for the big guns.” Rio led you to his bedroom with a covered mannequin in the center. Unveiling the mannequin, he revealed the most beautiful dress. You would be crazy to not wear that dress.

“Ok, I’ll go!” Rio pulled you by your hips against him. “Good, I thought I would have to use my other negotiation methods.”

“Nah, I still need convincing.” Rio backed you into the bed and pulled off your shorts. “Okay, but you got 15 minutes to cum two times before the stylist gets here.”

Angel was doing his best at trying to keep his cool. Adelita was making her way through all the owners, sponsors, and players ‘networking’ to gain traction for her cause. It wasn’t that he didn’t support, actually he was very supportive of it, but this night was in celebration of him and the other players. And he couldn’t ask her to quit it without looking like a complete douchebag.

“Are you two seriously making bets?” Angel wasn’t paying that much attention to Coco and Gilly until they said Adelita’s name. They were betting on when she would corner their team owner, Miguel Galindo. “How else are we gonna pass the time? Ain’t like there’s scintillating conversation.” Coco collected money from Riz and put it in his breast pocket.

“Pendejo,” Angel ordered another drink and while waiting for it he heard Coco whistle. Turning around to see what made Coco speechless, Angel was glad that he already set his old glass on the bar top, because he would’ve dropped it. There you were in the most beautiful dress looking like a goddess, but his mood soured when he saw that it was Rio escorting you.

Bishop walked up beside him and smacked him in the back of the head. “Fucking dumbass. Now she’s with that asshole.” Angel opened his mouth to say something, but Bishop held up his hand. “I don’t wanna hear it. And you better leaver her alone, she looks happy.” His coach pointed his chin towards you and Rio kissing. Angel slammed back his drink and ordered another one. This was about to be a long night.

“I’m gonna go say hi to Bishop and the guys.” Rio looked for your friends and saw that Angel was right there next to them. “You sure? You want me to go with you?” It warmed your heart that Rio was so protective over you. It was unfamiliar territory for you. Usually, you were the one protecting others. “No, you stay here with your team, I’ll be okay.” Rio quirked his eyebrow, questioning you. He was trying to break you out of the habit of you masking your feelings, pretending you’re fine when you’re really not. “Rio, I promise. I’ll be good.” You patted his chest and started to walk away, but then he caught Angel staring at the two of you real hard and he couldn’t help but give him a show.

Spinning you around into his arms, Rio smashed his lips against yours. His still taste a little bit of yourself from when he wanted to make you his meal. Rio’s hands drifted to your ass and you did little to stop him. Ending the kiss, he tugged your bottom lip slowly releasing it and ending your connection. “Go say hi to your friends.” He whispered in your ear, fixing some of your lipstick that got under your lips.

Angel wanted to knock Rio the clean the fuck out. Who the fuck did he think he was practically dry humping you in public like that? “You better keep your mouth shut. You lost your privileges to be mad.” Coach Hank warned Angel as he saw you approach the group.

“Hey guys!” You were genuinely happy to see all of them. Since, you cut off contact with Angel you haven’t talked to any of them at all.

They all lined up to hug you, almost fighting each other to be the first one. But Angel waited his turn. He had a lot more to say than just hi.

It was a bit awkward at first. Neither one of you made the first move. Eventually, you threw yourself in his arms and you were almost a goner. You did not know that hugging him would bring back all those feelings you tried to bury deep down.

“You look beautiful.” He kept a hand around your wrist, his thumb stroking the inside of it. “Thank you.”

His eyes kept dipping to your dress. There were some cut out pieces revealing more skin than he cared for. “Where’s the rest of your dress?”

Snatching your wrist away, you crossed your arms over your chest to keep yourself from slapping the shit out of Angel. “Rio doesn’t seem to mind.”

Angel invaded your space and glared down at you. “Do I look like Rio?”

“Do I look like Adelita?”

Angel bit the inside of his cheek. He knew he had no reason to question you. You weren’t his, but damn it he wanted you to be.

“This was a mistake coming over here. Go back and talk to your fiancée.”

“She’s not my fiancée.”

Skrtt, you stopped your retreat. “Say what?”

“I said she’s not my fiancée.” Angel wasn’t able to explain further. Adelita finally came and graced you with her presence. She didn’t pay any attention to Angel. All her attention was on you. Adelita was actually pulling you away to talk to one of the other coaches about joining their staff.

This was almost as torturous as talking to Angel. Adelita barely let you get a word in. She was acting like she was your damn agent. Luckily, Rio came and saved the day.

“Where are we going?” You whispered as he pulled you into the hallway. “Don’t worry about it.” He jiggled each door until he found an unlocked door and pushed you through.

“Rio no,” you weakly protested clutching onto his tux. “What? You don’t wanna give daddy a little something something?” He pouted, knowing it was your weakness.

“Okay, but it has to be fast.” Rio kissed you some more knowing how turned you got by simply making out.

Due to your combined breaths getting heavier neither one of you heard the turning of the doorknob. It wasn’t until the light from the hallway shone on you and Rio, exposing your dirty deed.

“Oh shit, my bad dawg!” Angel lifted his head from Adelita’s neck and apologized to the other couple. He didn’t mean it all. Angel saw Rio lead you to the hallway and by the mischievous look he had on his face, he knew his opponent was up to no good.

The little smirk on Angel’s face told you that none of it was an accident. “It’s okay, I wasn’t feeling well anyway. I think we should go home.” You smirked back at Angel. He wasn’t the only one that can play games.

“C’mon Angel, they need to get home.” Adelita winked at you and led an unwilling Angel back to the party.

You were almost out until you got stopped by Mr. Galindo. He was the only team owner you hadn’t talked to that night.

With Miguel Galindo trying to convince you to join his staff and Adelita standing next to you patiently waiting for her chance, Angel and Rio were left alone with each other.

“I don’t know what you’re doing, but stay the fuck away from Y/N. You’re no good for her.” Angel had to refrain from snatching up Rio as he laughed. “You got jokes man.” Rio stepped closer to him, they were basically nose to nose. “At least when I make her cry it’s from my dick and not from being a dickwad.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you kept watch on Rio and Angel. Those two couldn’t be alone without trying to fight in the first 30 seconds.

The scene before you was getting to be too much, but you couldn’t do anything without being disrespectful towards Miguel. Thankfully, Coco and Gilly were watching them too and were able to pull Angel away.

Somehow Miguel talked you into staying for the entire dinner. And because the universe loved you so much you and Rio were assigned to the same table as Angel and Adelita.

After Adelita formally introduced herself to him. And you didn’t know if it was the alcohol or not, but it seemed that she was flirting with Rio. Not that you had anything to worry about. Rio wasn’t entertaining her at all.

“She take my money when I’m in need. Yeah, she’s a trifling’ friend indeed.” As soon as you recognized the notes, you tried to stomp Rio’s foot, but he was too quick.

“Huh, what was that?” Adelita didn’t quite catch what Rio was saying. “Oh nothing, I just got a song stuck in my head.  Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger. But she ain’t messing’ with no broke bro.”

Angel had to admit to himself that was funny, but ain’t no way he’ll let Rio know that.

“Stop it!” You whispered in Rio’s ear. Even if Adelita was oblivious to him making fun of her, everyone else surrounding them wasn’t. “Now you know you always tell me that but we both know you don’t mean it hear or at home.” Heat crept up your face and all you could do was hide your face in the crook of Rio’s neck. Rio slightly turned to kiss your forehead while fingering the bracelet he got you.

Once the glint of the bracelet caught Adelita’s eye she snatched your wrist from Rio. You didn’t mind though because you and Rio were off in your own little world. Not even the harsh stare from Angel could tear your eyes away from Angel.

“Ouch! What the fuck, Angel?” Adelita rubbed at her ankle. “My bad.” He frowned as Rio smirked at him knowing full well he was the intended target.

As the night went on, Rio’s and Angel’s antics went up. You don’t know what you did, but you had two petty kings arguing over you. And at times it was funny but also stressful.

The little innuendos concerning you flew over Adelita’s head but everyone else was getting them. They were getting so vicious that Coco and Gilly started another bet on who would swing first.

The event was concluding when things got downright ugly. Angel once again voiced his concerns of Rio dating you. Rio had enough and went for the low blow. “You’re just mad because I already took your girl and I’m about to take your city and your ring.”

Coco and Gilly’s bet was long forgotten as Angel went for Rio. “Don’t be mad, Reyes. I’m just spitting facts. If I’m wanna keep it hunnid, if I threw the right amount of cash, I could have your other girl too.”

“RIO!” You scolded him trying to pull him away. Thank god, Adelita was nowhere near to hear that little bit.

“Nah, babe fuck that.” Rio shrugged you off of him and stood toe to toe to Angel. “You ain’t on top no more big dawg. Get use to it.”

Angel just shook his head and turned around like a wounded animal. “Coco, give Gilly his money.”

“What?” Coco asks too late because Angel threw the first punch at Rio. And once they started fighting it was hard to get them to stop. Even Gilly couldn’t hold Angel. It wasn’t until you did something that they stopped.

Bishop tried to stop you once he noticed what you were attempting to do, but you slipped right past him. The boys were in between blows giving you the perfect opportunity to step in the middle of them. As soon as you became an obstacle each man lowered their fist.

Angel actually started to cower some when he saw your face. This was like your training face but a thousand times worse. Rio never saw you this pissed and he was beginning to get scared to breath the wrong way. Either way both men knew to shut the hell up.

Facing Angel first, you shoved him in the chest. “Angel Ignacio Reyes, I know you were raised better than this.”

“I’m sorry.” Angel mumbled, his eyes downcasted.

“And you!” You faced Rio, pointing a finger in his face. “I’ll deal with you when we get home.”

“Next time leave your petty bullshit for the football field.” You told the both of them before heading out without even waiting for Rio. 

Damn, you knew you should’ve stayed your behind at home.

Tagging: @tashawar​ @ourlittlesecretsoveragain​ @starrynite7114​ @sambucky8​ @mygirlrenee​ @richonne4life​ @readsalot73​ @chaneajoyyy​ @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​ @jassydwill11​ @otomefromtheheart​ @miss-nori85​ @xsweetdellzx​ @cocogodess15​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @my-rosegold-soul​ @angrythingstarlight​ @brattyfics​ @lovebennycolon​ @langiinspirations​ @chibsytelford​ @trulysuccubus​ @spookys-girl​ @sesamepancakes​ @literaturefeen​ @brownsugarcoffy​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @fvckthisbxtchup​ @theartisticqueen​ @vsfavs​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @angelreyesgirl​ @woahitslucyylu​ @marvelmaree​ @blessedboo​

[cali-holland]

Forever and Ever, Ch. 6: Surprises, Sweets, and Sapphires

Tom Holland X Osterfield!Reader, Wedding Series

When Tom comes back from filming, the next stages of wedding planning continue: cake tasting, Tom’s suit fitting, and a special lunch with Nikki

Warnings: some sexual themes/references

Word Count: 3600

Series Masterlist

Masterlist   Tom Holland Masterlist

“Lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday”

Lucky, Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

A/N: Special thank you to @duskholland​ for proofreading this and for listening to me talk about this chapter for the past like three months whoops

~~~

You threw the front door open, gasping for air as you came to a sudden halt. Proudly, you announced, “I won!”

Less than a second later, Harrison came sprinting up behind you. “You cheated.”

“Nope.” You shook your head, making your way to the kitchen for some water.

“You shoved me into a hedge. You cheated.” He repeated, proceeding to take off the scattered leaves that had clung to his running clothes. 

You rolled your eyes at him and took a large drink from your water bottle. Your morning run with Harrison would be nothing without a little competition, a.k.a. racing each other for the last couple hundred meters and shoving each other out of the way to win. You still had a bruise on your knee from when he tripped you last week.

“Y/N had a solid five-second lead,” Harry stated from where he sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone and enjoying a cup of tea.

Taking notice of Harry in the room, you casually made your way into the living room. You wandered to the far side of the room, checking behind the couch, doing your best to act casually about what you were looking for… or rather who you were looking for.

“Missing something?” Harry asked, eyeing you with a teasing smirk on his face.

“He’s not here.” Harrison laughed from the kitchen, “You know Tom flies in tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but I know how you all get the day before Tom’s scheduled to arrive.” You said, narrowing your eyes at Harry to see if he showed any sign that his brother may in fact be here already.

Tom has surprised you by coming back early four times over the course of your relationship. And every time, it was a scheme crafted and executed by himself, Harry, and Harrison— sometimes Sam, Tuwaine, Nikki, and Dom even pitched in. 

The first time it happened was definitely the most notable.

It was just another Friday night for you, and you were spending it by watching Say Anything with Harrison (it was your turn to choose a movie). You weren’t really focused on the movie- you’d seen it a thousand times; you were distracted thinking of Tom. It had been over four weeks since you’d seen him in person, and, since you’ve only been dating a few short months, it felt like an eternity. You weren’t sure how you could ever grow accustomed to it, but you knew it would be worth it once you were in his arms again. Your heart soared just thinking about holding the love of your life again tomorrow. You were so in your own head that you didn’t hear the front door quietly open and close.

“Haz?” You turned to your brother, your back turned from the entryway.

“Yeah?” He asked. You looked down at your hands nervously, oblivious to how Harrison was watching Tom tiptoe behind the couch, staying out of your eye line, while Harry got out his phone, filming it. Harry gave Tom the go ahead, and just as he was about to surprise you, you spoke up again.

“I love Tom.” You blurted out, feeling your heart race in anticipation as you finally said what you’ve been holding back for weeks. All eyes fell on you, though you were only aware of Harrison’s. Tom was frozen in his half-crouch, trying to comprehend what he just heard. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Is it too soon to tell him tomo-”

You were cut off by a loud clanging behind you. Your eyes immediately landed on Tom, who was quite literally on the other side of the couch from you; you didn’t even process that it was Harry dropping his phone that caught your attention in the first place.

“Tom, I-” You started, but he cut you off, leaning over the couch to kiss you as if Harrison and Harry weren’t even there.

He pulled back, a smile on his face, “I love you, too.”

And then, the second time, Tom surprised you at the pub and you choked on a beer in shock. The time after that, Nikki coincidentally had an extra place setting at the Holland family dinner that you and Harrison were invited to. The last time, you were getting in your car to go on a grocery run with Harry when Tom jumped up from the back seat.

It was safe to say you were still on edge, knowing it could happen at any moment… if it did happen, that is. You just had a feeling that something was up, even though Harry, Harrison, and Tuwaine seemed to act like it was a normal day. In fact, none of them even left the house, unless you counted your morning run with Harrison.

As you got ready for bed later that night, you frowned a little at the empty sheets before you. All day, you’d hoped Tom would be home early; at least, you just had to sleep one more time alone before he was back. You slipped on one of Tom’s sweatshirts as your sleepshirt for the night and crawled into the cold bed. You checked the door one last time, just to make sure, before turning off your bedside lamp and putting your phone on the nightstand. Snuggling down in bed with your back to the door, you closed your eyes and tried to sleep.

After a few minutes of lying motionless in the dark, you gave up on trying to sleep for now. Grabbing your phone, you blinked sleepily as you turned down the brightness and unlocked it. You went straight for your photos app, knowing exactly which video you wanted to watch. You scrolled back three years to find the video of Tom surprising you for the first time, the very first time you both said: “I love you”. You quietly said the words aloud to yourself, hoping that maybe he could hear it, wherever he was in the world. 

“I love you, too.” You heard a whisper from the doorway. Your light flicked on, and you hurried out of your bed and into Tom’s arms. He held you tightly, not wanting to let go of you ever again.

“I missed you so much.” Tom murmured.

You pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes again, your hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I missed you, too.” You leaned in and kissed him, pouring every bit of relief to have him back into the kiss. You broke the kiss, just to mumble against his lips, “So much,” before kissing him again.

After a moment of being completely enraptured in each other’s embrace again, he stepped back, a sheepish look on his face, “Can we continue this in a moment? I really have to piss.”

“Ever the romantic.” You teased. As you climbed into bed again, Tom laughed and fully brought his luggage into the room, since he had dropped it to embrace you in the doorway. He left it all in the corner (and you made a note that tomorrow would be laundry day) before he disappeared to the bathroom. He came back a couple of moments later and went to grab out some pajama pants to change into.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You asked him with a small smirk, but his back was turned to you so he didn’t catch the look on your face.

“Getting pajamas, love.” He laughed. You let out a small sigh before taking off his sweatshirt that was wrapped around you.

“Your fiance is waiting.” You stated, throwing the sweatshirt at him as he turned around to face you.

“Well, we can’t have that now, can we?”

~~~

“We need a pool.” You could hear Harry say from the kitchen as you and Tom made your way downstairs the next morning.

“No, indoor gym- that’s the way to go.” Harrison insisted.

“What are you two on about?” Tom asked, his hand leaving yours to pour two cups of tea, one for you and one for him, while you popped some bread in the toaster for the two of you.

“Renovations for the house.” Your brother said, “I think we could use an indoor gym a lot more than a pool.”

“You know, actually, we need soundproof walls.” Harry joked, making Tom’s face turn red.

“I’m the one right next to them.” Harrison let out a groan, throwing his head back dramatically.

“You should both know by now to stay clear of the house when I come home.” Tom shrugged, and you nodded in agreement.

“Tuwaine learned after the first time.” You stated, taking a sip of your tea.

“Fucking animals.” Harrison muttered, shaking his head, before finishing off his tea. He cleared his breakfast spot and left the room without another word.

“So, when do you two get to do the wedding cake testing and can I come?” Harry asked cheekily.

“No.” You and Tom said simultaneously. With a grumble about you two being ‘no fun’, he left you both alone in the kitchen.

Sitting down to eat your very fancy breakfast of toast with nutella, Tom looked a little lost in thought. You waited a moment for him to speak up, but when he just munched on his toast quietly, you asked, “Is everything alright?”

“When do we get to do the cake tasting?” Tom asked, completely serious in his question.

“We can call some bakeries today and see what’s open this week?” You offered, and he nodded in agreement, taking a bite of his breakfast. Leaning in next to Tom, you pulled your phone out and began to look through Pinterest under the wedding cakes tag.

“I like that one.” He pointed out a beautiful three-tiered cake with delicate roses angled around the cake.

“The roses are a nice touch.” You hummed in agreement, adding the picture to a saved album. You paused your scrolling on another cake, a simpler two-tier with leaves intricately placed on the sides, “How about this one?”

“I like the roses more, but add it to the album for ideas.” He admitted, and you did just that.

“It just looks smoother. Maybe we can do both? Roses and a smooth finish.” You suggested, and Tom nodded.

“Sounds perfect.”

By some stroke of luck (or Tom name dropping himself while pretending to be his assistant), you two managed to get a cake tasting appointment in just a few days, which lined up perfectly to be just hours before Tom’s suit fitting. With a few decorative cake ideas already in mind, you both felt decently prepared about this next step in wedding planning.

“Are you absolutely positive you don’t need me to come?” Harrison asked. He was practically itching to put on his shoes and leave with you and Tom right now. “I’m the best man. I should be there.” 

“I’m the photographer. Who will capture this moment if I’m not there?” Harry questioned, and Tom furrowed his eyebrows at his younger brother.

“Mum’s coming.” Tom stated as if it was obvious.

“You invited mum and not me?” A sense of betrayal shone in Harry’s eyes.

“You’ll just have to wait for the wedding if you want cake.” He laughed, opening the front door. 

As you and Tom stepped outside hand in hand, you heard Tuwaine shout behind you both, “Bring the leftovers to your fitting!”

“We’ll never hear the end of this.” Tom muttered when you two were in the safety of his car.

“They’ll live.” You joked. Holding onto his hand loosely as he pulled the car away from the house. “Do I get to see what your suit looks like?”

“Not unless I get to see your dress early.” He laughed. As he stopped at a light, he brought your hand up to his lips to kiss you delicately.

“That’s bad luck.”

“And who says it’s not bad luck the other way around?” He raised his eyebrows at you, laughing softly. “You’re going to look like a princess in that dress, and you're going to make me cry at the altar, darling.”

“Happy tears, hopefully.” You teased lightly, even though you both knew he was being absolutely serious.

Tom just sent a smile your way, continuing the drive, before adding, “I really am the luckiest man to be marrying you.”

“You’re such a sap.” You said lovingly, making him laugh. “But I really am the luckiest girl. I can’t wait for our forever to start.”

“Forever and ever.”

When you two arrived, Nikki was already there. The three of you went through the process of ordering which cakes you’d like to try and speaking with the head baker about styles and designs. As you all sipped on champagne and waited for the baker to return with the cakes, Nikki spoke up.

“I never thought my Tom would grow up to have pink roses on his wedding cake.”

“What’s that mean?” Tom asked through a laugh, trying to hide how his ears tinted pink.

“I remember you going on and on about how you wanted a red and blue wedding cake.” She knew exactly what she was doing, and you could tell by Tom’s face that he had hoped she’d forgotten that childhood detail.

“I was seven. Of course I wanted a Spider-Man cake.” Tom insisted, his hand finding yours underneath the table. Whether he was doing it out of nerves or embarrassment, you weren’t entirely sure, but you intertwined your fingers with his and squeezed his hand reassuringly. It took you a moment to realize that all he really wanted was to hold you in any way possible.

“You were eleven.” Nikki corrected.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do pink roses then. Red’s always been more of your color.” You teased your fiance, and he looked at you, playfully unimpressed.

“Time to redo the wedding. We need it to be red and blue.” Tom joked, taking a sip of his champagne.

The baker came back with a tray of assorted cakes, a bright, yet nervous smile on her face. You could tell that she wanted to impress prospecting clients, but the way she eyed Tom was a dead giveaway that she knew exactly who he was. She set down the pieces of cake on the table, explaining each one- chocolate with cappuccino mousse, pink champagne with vanilla buttercream, lemon cake with a limoncello buttercream, and a classic fruitcake, extra boozy.

“I’ve never been a fan of fruitcake.” Tom admitted as the baker left the three of you alone.

“It’s traditional.” You reasoned, “Besides, it can be the top tier so it’s the smallest.”

As you took a bite of the fruitcake, which had to be the best and booziest fruitcake you’ve ever tasted, Tom turned to his mother, “What kind of cake did you and dad have at your wedding?”

“What kind do you think?” Nikki laughed, taking a bite of her fruitcake piece.

Tom shuddered, and you playfully rolled your eyes at him. Holding out a forkful of your fruitcake to him, you teased, “Come on, you big baby, just try it. It’s incredible.”

Without any objections, he did as told. You watched as he bit back a smile at the taste. “It’s not the worst thing ever.”

“Uhuh, that’s what I thought.” You nodded, helping yourself to some of the chocolate cake. The second it hit your tongue, you knew you wanted it as a part of the actual wedding cake. It was the perfect balance of chocolate and espresso flavors, and you just wanted more of it.

“Shit, that’s a good cake.” Tom said beside you, having just had a bite of the chocolate as well. He barely got the words out before he went for another bite. With a mouthful of chocolate cake, he turned to you, “We have to get this one.”

“Definitely.” You agreed.

If you thought the chocolate cake was perfection, the pink champagne one was a slice of heaven. The lemon one, while it was the best lemon cake you had ever eaten, just couldn’t compare. 

And, as quickly as you all had tried (more like, eaten) the cakes, you had decided on the flavors: chocolate as the bottom-most tier, pink champagne in the middle, and a small fruit cake tier perched on top. Thanks to your saved images on the Hollosterfield Webbing Pinterest board, you both knew a three-tiered, smooth white cake with pink flowers trickling down the side was how you wanted your wedding cake to be designed. 

After everything was finalized with the baker, the three of you exited the bakery and made your way to the cars outside. Aloud, Tom pondered, “I wonder if they’ll let us come back and sample some flavors again. We didn’t get to try the red velvet.”

“We’ll end up with a million wedding cakes if we sample any more.” You teased, and he just shrugged.

“That doesn’t sound like a problem.”

“Are you off to your suit fitting?” Nikki asked Tom, when the three of you came to a stop in front of Tom’s car and Nikki’s. He nodded in response.

“I’ve got to drop Y/N off at home, and then I’ll meet the boys at the tailors. They’re probably already there waiting for me.” He admitted sheepishly, making Nikki shake her head.

“I can drive you home, Y/N.” She offered. “And we can stop for lunch, too.”

“I’d love-” You began, but Tom cut you off.

“Mum, are you trying to steal my fiancee?” There was a small, overdramatic pout on his lips, and you rolled your eyes playfully at his antics.

“Oh no, you’ve uncovered my master plan.” Nikki said, sarcastically.

Laughing, you turned to Tom and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into his embrace. You leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Go get yourself a hot ass suit.”

“A hot ass suit? So I can’t get a vomit green suit?” He joked.

“Preferably no vomit green.” You stated, and Tom leaned in to give you a chaste kiss.

“I’ll see you at home.” He whispered to you, giving you one last peck on the lips before he stepped away from you to go to his car.

“Don’t miss me too much.” You blew him a kiss, and he overdramatically pretended to catch it. He was a dork, but he was your dork- and in a few months, he’d officially be your dork forever.

Just over an hour later, you and Nikki had finished eating your lunch, but you found yourselves still enjoying your chat away from the others; it was a rare occasion that it was ever just the two of you.

“Thank you for this, Nikki.” You told her with a smile.

“You don’t have to thank me. You’re family, now.” She reassured you. She paused for a moment, “I wanted to give you something.”

“Oh, Nikki-“ You started, but your voice got caught in your throat as she slid a small, dark blue velvet box across the table. Slowly, under her anxious and watchful eyes, you opened it. On a soft white cushion inside sat a pair of sapphire stud earrings, encased by small, beautiful diamonds. You were at a loss for words as you gazed at the brilliant jewelry before you.

“When Dom proposed to me, my engagement ring had two sapphires— my birthstone, and, when we got married and I got my wedding ring, I stopped wearing it. Then, Tom proposed to you, and I had the ring’s sapphires remade into earrings. I told myself I’d give the sapphires to my daughter, and you’re my daughter now, so that it’s only right that you have them.” She explained. When you finally managed to tear your eyes away from the earrings to look at her, you saw the proud, yet nervous smile on her face and the slight buildup of tears in her eyes.

“Thank you,” was all you could manage to say. You reached over the table and held her hand, giving it a squeeze of reassurance, to silently tell her how much it meant to you because both of you knew you the tear gates would open if you spoke another word.

That night, as Tom got ready for bed, you couldn’t help yourself from looking at the earrings again, eyeing how the glittered in the dim light from your nightstand. Tom wandered into the room, his sweats hanging low on his waist.

“I’m exhausted. Who knew eating cake and taking measurements would be so tiring?” He yawned, getting into the bed beside you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, ready to cuddle as he fell asleep, when he noticed the box in your hand. “What’s that?”

“Your mum gave them to me. The sapphires were used in her engagement ring.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke, both of you knowing the weight of the words. You felt Tom’s fingers shift to find your hands, his finger ghosting over your own engagement ring. “She said they were meant for her daughter and that I-“

You stopped yourself short, knowing he could fill in rest. Ever so sweetly, Tom placed a chaste kiss to your lips, and his hand cupped the side of your face as he pulled away. “You’re a Holland now.”

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex @theamazingtomholland @Hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart @joyleenl @t-o-m-hollands @lonikje @sleepybesson @bvttercupbby @hollandsamor @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @gorrillaglue23 @petersoftboyparker @musicalkeys @duskholland @biebsmylife95 @dummiesshort @perspectiveparker @miraclesoflove​ @ethereal-beauty-p @rebekkah4766​

Tom Holland Tag List: @quaksonhehe @tomkindholland​ @tomthetease​ @agustdowney​

Series Tag List: @thefallenbibliophilequote @wassup-peoples @thevelvetseries @greatpizzascissorstaco @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe @asonofpeter @millennial-teenybopper​

[therealvinelle]

Maybe this is bold of me to ask, but are there any deleted scenes from your fics, or scenes you had consideted writing but didn't? And if yes, would you be willing to share them someday?

Oh no problem!

Usually when a scene is deleted it stays deleted, so I don't have a lot to give you. There are a few things that were cut in betaing for various reasons, I can put a few of them below a readmore in this post.

There's the prologue that never was to Nebuchadnezzar's Dream, from back when the fic was supposed to be told alternately from Bella and Carlisle's respective points of view. In the prologue we saw how Bella, Alice, and Edward came to the point where they decided to overthrow the Volturi. Or, we would have, except I didn't actually like that prologue, and found myself jumping straight to writing chapter 2, the "Carlisle is at a party and gets attacked by a werewolf" chapter instead. My good beta @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin asked why I didn't simply make the whole fic from Carlisle's point of view, I realized she had an excellent point, now here we are.

For that matter, this is nowhere near the only significant change that happened to this fic during writing. One example, in the original outline I never brought up Carlisle's gift. Two significant things in the last chapter were not planned until after I published chapters twelve and thirteen, respectively (Luckily for me it'll look like I plotted them all along, so yay for that). For a tightly plotted fic, this one has had a lot of leeway.

Slight caveat, as I’m self-conscious: with most of these you will probably be able to tell why they’re deleted scenes. Especially the prologue. God, that prologue.

(Also, for the record yes I do write other things, but due to 1. being betaed, and 2. being long, I really only have examples for Nebuchadnezzar's Dream.)

The prologue that never was. Apologies for the fluff saturation:

The Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar II once had a dream.

There was a statue that was gold on top, then silver, then copper, then iron, then clay and iron. As he watched, a rock struck its feet, and soon the whole statue crumbled, leaving nothing but rubble. The rock then grew into a great mountain that covered all the world.

This, the prophet Daniel told the king, was a message from Jehovah.

The statue represented five great human empires, the golden head being the Babylonian Empire, and the following three being those who would come after. The last would be both iron and clay, a divided kingdom. It will fall, and then the kingdom of Heaven will come, crushing those empires in its path.

Thousands of years later, in 1453, the Byzantine Empire fell. The last of the Roman Empire, a divided kingdom, had fallen.

The Christian world trembled, because reckoning was surely near. With the fall of this last, great human empire, all the world would fall to rubble.

-

Fifteen years had passed.

The Cullens had left Forks behind, settling in the small town of Grafton, Idaho. Carlisle had quickly settled into the new hospital, and Esme had designed a beautiful new home for them while the rest attended the new school. Jasper and Rosalie were Carlisle’s younger siblings while Bella, Edward, Renesmée and Esme comprised another set of siblings. Alice and Emmett were the fosters.

Jacob wasn’t far, he still lived with his old .

«Did you hear they all scored an A on Mr Rosen’s test? Seriously, all of them!»

The words were uttered by Jenna Gilbert, a blonde sophomore who reminded Bella very much of Jessica Stanley. She was sitting on the opposite end of the cafeteria from Bella and her family, though

«Jen, it’s the Cullens, that’s just what they do. You should stop comparing yourself…» her friend said soothingly.

Bella ducked her face into her hand to hide her smile, and winked at Alice, who grinned back at her.

It was Bella and Renesmée’s first time going to high school as a vampire. It was exactly what Edward and Alice had said it would be, for better and for worse.

For the worse, because she spent her days pretending to be a human girl, never using her strength or speed, pretending Edward wasn’t her husband and Renesmée wasn’t her daughter.

For the better, because she got to spend every day with Edward, Renesmée, and the rest of her new family. The others had done the high school routine too many times to see things the way she did, and Renesmée had never known a life without the Cullens, but to Bella, attending high school as one of Dr. Cullen’s adoptive kids felt like she had truly come full circle since that first day she spotted Edward in the cafeteria. She was one of them, truly, irrevocably, and high school was nothing if not a promise of the countless years to come surrounded by the people she loved.

Edward caught her eye, and she smiled back at him. She lowered her shield briefly to show him how happy she was to be with her family.

His face softened into that beautiful, lop-sided smile of his, and he leaned in to whisper into her ear, «You’ll be less happy when you’ve been through English 101,» he said.

«Hey, hey,» Jasper said quickly. «Don’t you dare, Edward, I need all the happiness I can get in this place.» He locked eyes with Bella. «Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.»

Bella laughed, and rested her head on Edward’s shoulder. He placed his hand above hers on the table, and she smiled. «Not a problem, Jazz.»

Jenna’s voice caught her notice again. «Look at how they’re sitting! Try and tell me they’re not incestuous, Cam. Just try.»

Her friend didn’t reply to that one, although a quick glance informed Bella that the girl was staring at the Cullen table with a frown on her face.

Bella and Alice caught each others’ eye again, and this time they couldn’t hold back the giggles.

***********

Later in the day, Alice’s eyes lit up. «You’ll receive a letter from Stefan and Vladimir a week from now,» she chirped.

«Oh!» Bella exclaimed. «What does it say?»

«The usual,» Alice replied, her eyes slightly distant as she concentrated. «They hope we’re all doing well, and they included a new story of how things used to be before the Volturi. It’s the story of how they once built an entire temple for themselves in just one day. Oh, and they have a new phone number. O-seven nine six five nine six.»

Bella’s eyes widened as Alice talked. She hoped they had included drawings of that temple, it sounded incredible.

Bella hadn’t expected the Romanians to stay in touch, when they left after the thwarted battle with the Volturi she thought they would slink back into the old European shadows they had cloaked themselves in for that past several thousand few years, not to be heard from until some new threat to the Volturi loomed.

But no, that very next Christmas Bella had received a gift from them. It was an old, if flaked painting of Ivan the Terrible looking a lot like Vladimir, and a note from Vladimir explaining how he fooled all of Russia into believing he was their ruler for decades, all right beneath Aro’s nose. Carlisle had broken into a fit of uncharacteristic giggles when he heard that, and even agreed to put the painting in the hallway. To this day, he’d huff with silent laughter whenever he walked past it.

After that, Bella and the two Romanians had been in touch. They’d send her gifts, stories, and their own observations about the Volturi, and she’d respond fondly.

It was a very unlikely friendship, but she was was eternally grateful to all those who had stood with her family when the Volturi came. The Romanians were no exception,

«Are you going to call them?» Alice inquired.

Bella nodded. «They were going to tell me about their visit to Thebes.»

(Outline: Prologue of sorts. Status quo update, everyone’s happy except for the part where the Volturi are waiting to kill them. Alice, Bella, and Edward form their plan. Alice sees that she’s going to have to send Carlisle away, and coincidentally his hospital colleagues are having their Christmas weekend in Montana. PERFECT. She talks to him.)

***********

Heavily altered scene from chapter 7

Carlisle makes more jokes than he did in the final product, they're unfunny to the point where my beta said "you can't publish this", the plague joke in particular is a bit too dark for him so I gave it to Jane instead. More importantly, the chapter itself has a very weird, clunky start:

«Is it the gift of being profoundly unimpressed by ridiculous claims?» Carlisle deadpanned. «Because if so, Aro, I think you might be on to something.»

Several seconds had passed since Aro made his ridiculous claim. At first, Carlisle had burst out laughing. Then, as he realized he was the only person in the room laughing and Aro was staring at him in full seriousness, his laughter had trailed off and he’d been left to stare dully at Aro for several long seconds, waiting for Aro to crack up and say «gotcha!».

Aro never cracked up.

Carlisle had absolutely no idea what Aro was playing at, especially not immediately after Carlisle had very reluctantly decided against shutting him out of his life.

«You can’t be serious,» he’d said.

Aro had sighed. «I’m afraid I am.»

And now, at Carlisle’s deadpan guess, Aro only shook his head. «Not quite.»

Carlisle stared at him for another second, before he ventured another, scathing guess. «Are you hoping it’s the power of being highly suggestible? Because I definitely don’t have that, or I would have abandoned my diet centuries centuries ago.»

Aro just looked at him. «If you would let me explain-» he began, but Carlisle cut him off.

«No, no, you want to try and convince me I have some sort of gift, then I want to guess at what you’re going for,» he said, crossing his legs at the knee and propping his chin up on his knuckle in a faux-pensive look.

«Now,» he continued, even as Aro gave him the world’s most unimpressed glare, as if Carlisle was the one who was being ridiculous, «I’m pretty sure I would have noticed the power to throw fireballs by now, so it can’t be that,» he mused aloud. «Same goes for the power of…» he searched his mind, «turning into a bat. That one would definitely have come up at some point. Or maybe I should suspend myself upside down in a cave. See if it triggers anything. Just to be sure.»

«Carlisle,» Aro murmured, but Carlisle wasn’t done.

«Maybe I spread disease. My father certainly thought demons did. Maybe that’s why I get so many interesting patients. Those brain fungi,» he nodded towards Renata, who was still sitting with the book open in her lap, «I’ve had two in one year. That’s a lot.»

«Carlisle-» Aro tried again, but Carlisle held up a finger, a wide grin spreading across his face.

«The power to change my eye color. You see, yesterday they were black-»

Aro actually rolled his eyes at that. Of course, he made the insolent gesture look like a fluid, enchanting movement.

«Yes, quite funny, now if you would let me explain…» Aro tried again while Carlisle tried not to snicker at his own joke.

***********

Two deleted paragraphs from chapter 9. The alteration was made because it was a bit on the nose about what Renesmée does.

Humans were mammals, and mammals were hardwired to protect their young. This extended across species, making mother cats care for puppies and humans care for anything that was small and cute. The instinct to love and cherish anything cute and helpless was an evolutionary necessity, and had to run deeper than anything if a species wanted to survive.

Enter Jane, who was the smallest, cutest thing Carlisle had ever seen, but from a species humans instinctively knew to fear. Maybe the very fact that she was something that humans knew they should want to care for made their fear exponential, made it impossible to deny that something was very wrong about her, that they were looking at a predator.

Perhaps too there was something to vampires having retained some of that human instinct to protect their young, if the countless stories of covens dying to protect their immortal children was anything to go by. Carlisle himself had been no exception when the Volturi came for Renesmée, even as he found himself risking the lives of countless friends.

How far things had come, he thought, from preparing to die along with his loved ones at the hands of the Volturi to sitting across a café table with Jane and pitching costume ideas.

***********

Chapter 9 was heavily altered, mainly as it was too funny the first (and second!) time around and I kept having to return to insert more existential dread. A side effect of this is that Carlisle in the original draft was still undecided on whether he had a gift up until the very end of the chapter, whereas it's proven beyond a doubt much earlier in the published version.

Jane was looking a bit daunted, though it was nothing compared to how Carlisle felt.

Silently, they went to stand in front of one of the many sports stores that Whitefish had to offer.

«This could still be confirmation bias,» Carlisle whispered, and leaned against the wall. For all the human blood that was in his system, his knees felt oddly weak.

Jane let out a startled laugh. «You’re seriously still in denial?»

Carlisle shook his head quietly. «They reacted pretty reasonably, just because they didn’t run away screaming…»

«Reasonably?» Jane echoed dully. «Carlisle, you can’t actually…» she shook her head. «Remember that bubble we talked about?»

Carlisle put his head in his hands, and let his fingers move up, under the wig, pulling it off in one neat motion.

Jane shook her head at him. «You look even more glamorous with your real hair.»

Carlisle still said nothing, balling the wig together in his hands.

Could it be he actually had a gift?

***********

The chapter 11 outline originally had Renata and Carlisle failing to communicate like normal people because they've spent too much time with Aro, and unintentional innuendo keeps ruining their attempts to make polite small talk. Sadly (or happily) this is a lot easier to conceptualize than carry out in actual writing, and their conversation wound up being far too serious for that, so it was cut. Luckily for you I did pen Carlisle flashbacking to a time his foot got in his mouth:

The moment after the words were out her face scrunched up.

Carlisle snorted. «Aro is a horrible influence on us all.»

He remembered one of his first talks with Jasper, when they were still getting to know each other.

Jasper had been a little starstruck when he learned Carlisle’s friends in Italy were those Italians.

He’d asked Carlisle a lot of questions once he got past a misplaced sense of awe, wanting to put a face to the eternal, petrified, leaders of the vampire world.

During a hunt with just the two of them, Jasper had been asking about Aro’s gift.

«What do you even think about when you’re with him?» Jasper had marvelled aloud, and he would later explain that the way he say it, this was like the way the Egyptian gods supposedly measured souls.

Place your heart upon the balancing scale against the weight of a feather, and if your heart weighs heavier it is devoured by the demon Ammit.

Place your hand in Aro’s, and if he deems you guilty of breaking his law, you will be torn to pieces in the space of a second.

Being friends with the man sounded unbearably stressful to Jasper.

Unfortunately, Carlisle’s mind had gone in the opposite direction, and what came out of his mouth before he could stop himself was, «England.»

He’d covered well enough for that, or he hoped he had. Jasper never asked.

***********

Chapter 11 was also supposed to have Renata being brave enough to ask for a selfie with Carlisle when they're both in black robes, this because I just really want Edward to sift through the Volturi group chat after all this and finding that. Alas, I couldn't work it in there. (Determined to not lose the joke, I had Aro take the photos in chapter 12 instead.)

***********

Chapter 12, the fandom ghost requested I include another butt slap and offered me fanart if I fulfilled her wish.

And so:

He held up a hand, presumably to touch Carlisle’s arm in comfort, but just then Alec started retching.

«He ate human food,» Jane deadpanned to Demetri, Felix, and Renata. Shaking her head, she brushed Alec’s hair out of his face as he hurled into the river.

Aro grimaced slightly, his hand hovering in the air.

Carlisle felt all the bread, corn flakes, and water that he’d swallowed press uncomfortably against his esophagus. «I’ll do you one better, Alec,» he choked, before he span around, fell to his knees and started retching, much like a cat.

Aro, evidently not sure what to do with his arm but not about to let it drop purposelessly, gave Carlisle a supportive pat on the bum before kneeling beside him to hold his hair as he hurled.

It was funny, but simply didn't fit the tone considering what happened after. It had to go. But hey, I got the art.