#it just doesn't sit right w me
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everything wrong w each tda character:
emma: idolised a herondale
julian: helped a herondale
livvy: kissed a herondale
ty: in love w a herondale
dru: friends w a herondale
kit: is a herondale
#it just doesn't sit right w me#herondales#emma carstairs#julian blackthorn#livvy blackthorn#ty blackthorn#dru blackthorn#kit herondale#the dark artifices#tda#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc
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oh one more thing abt chappel roan. does nobody else think it's weird for a cis woman to dress up as a drag queen ?? like girl .. u can just do drag
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Thoughts on polyshow/polyvbs?
i'm such a basic shipper i'm sorry hfhsh i don't mind both but it's also not something i'd willingly draw for myself. though i think both polysquad n polysho r really cute, a lot of my friends like em so I don't mind it that much
#in another life maybe i would ship em#unfortunately for me i have an ick with poly ships where atleast one ship doesn't sit right w me#i hc both an and emu as wlw so i don't really see them romantically attracted to the two non women in the group#i do however like neneruikasa. i like it a lot#JM NOT SLANDERING EMU I JUST. ITS EITHER EMUNENE FOR ME OR NOTHING#OR I JUST DIE#sorry if this is somewhat a let down ):#ask
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BTAS Batman feels like a normal human who's really trained and skilled and manages to pull off amazing feats
Comics Batman just feels like a superpowered human
#my dc posting#btas#batman#the moment 2 big guys with weapons stop being actual threats is the moment he's no longer realistically human to me#like it doesn't matter how skilled or trained you are. a guy w a weapon is always a threat!!#yes it's fiction this isn't an actual complaint#but the point is when BTAS batman succeeds and does something impressive i go wow! amazing! just a regular human w lots of training#doing cool fucking shit!#but when i see any otherbatman do anything ever i just go -_- bc he's not actually limited in any way or grounded in real human capabilitie#this is why i enjoy the action of BTAS so much bc it actually makes me ROOT for the hero#bc he CAN fail and get captured and all that and it doesn't feel unrealistic and when he gets out of it i actually feel#excited abt it yknow??#is it a crime to wanna watch something that actually manages to make you root for the hero instead of just sitting there like this -_- cus#y'know he's gonna succeed anyway and whatever Amazing Super Cool Shit he pulls off doesn't actually feel all that#...kinda reminds me of doctor who when it's done right#like idc how much i get told abt Wow he's just a non-powered human pulling off all these amazing things! he's just so strong and smart!#when there's nothing abt him that makes me actually believe these are normal non-powered human things#like i'm not gonna cheer when a superpowered guy can fly. they have superpowers. and batman FEELS like that no matter what i'm told by word#idk honestly i'm just complaining at this point. but i like doing that especially abt something so low-stakes as this so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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idk if i want to stay up and find a livestream for 911 to watch at 2am or if i'm ok with waiting until it's on disney+ canada tomorrow evening 😭
#i'm just so excited about the bucktommy plot!!!#if i go to bed early i'll probably wake up at 3am anyway to see everyone's posts right after the ep aired#my brain likes to wake me up at that time whenever 911 airs#if i watch it live i have to sit through american ads and that is enough to make me not want to watch live lmao#but then again disney+ doesn't always work w my vpn
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You know how I posted a while ago that someone in my area has a cyber truck and I finally ended up seeing it? I just accidentally found a post from a local fb group with hundreds of people making fun of it lol
#it's a group for outing shitty drivers in the area which i will not join b/c i don't really agree with that whole concept#oh this person parked stupidly or made a mistake while driving let me take a photo of their vehicle & publicly post it to shame them#doesn't sit right w/ me to partake in that. but also i don't really care to ever see if i end up getting posted to that#NOT that i'm a shitty driver i'm not but you never know what someone else might think or try to blame me for#ANYWAY. as much as i hate the concept of people helping out w/ the surveillance state by posting other people w/out their consent#i do think it's really funny the amount of times i've seen people collectively make fun of their local cyber truck owner on social media#i think this might be the only person in upper michigan with one so it's just really funny. everyone knows it & makes fun of it#p
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just a little personal anecdote/ thought dump in the tags..
#so there's this girl i work with - lets call her E. and i used fo work with her mum - lets call her J.#and E is overall v sweet. tho somewhat manipulative and a bit of a princess. ad i guess kind of my friend?#but only kind of bc she is younger and that maturity difference and also im her manager (we used to be the same rank)#but i was like really good friends with her mum - J. like we had v similar experiences and just clicked.#i dont talk to J anymore for several reasons (she stopped working. i got weird - like insecure and whatnot. she moved away).#and E and J do not get along very well#and like J was my friend first right. i was biased by her side of things and disagreements with E.#and tho my rship w J was kind of fucked up and i definitely carry a sadness for how that ended. it doesn't erase#that she was my friend and we got long v well and we clicked and i felt she understood me and vice versa#and similar life experiences and all that jazz etc#and i dont think it ever has occured to E that like me and her mum were actually friends??#bc like we'll be having a conversation and she'll start talking about her mum in a v negative way#and its just so so awkward#bc i know her mum isnt perfect and isnt necessarily fair to her - compared to her sister#but like E is very strong willed and she's still maturing and struggles to see past her own ego#and J is someone who definitely avoids conflict and confrontation but not by giving in - but by stepping back. if that makes sense#but thats why E and J dont get along. neither knows how to reach agreement or compromise#but anyways i understand J and respect her and it so awkward to sit there whilst E whines and trash talks#and it also makes me sad#and we're well past the pointof me saying anything#like a year ago. sure. and there were several times i did say 'hey. i know youre having feelings about this but like ur mum was my friend?#so i think its better if we dont discuss this' kind of thing#but it didnt stick. plus its kind of weird. bc its v much past tense now - like me and J WERE friends.#and like i think E thinks that she and I are good friends. which is also awkward.#bc we were coworkers so yeh. kind of friends by default - small team and o ly young ppl#but she's not rly the kind of person that i vibe with#and ive been making an effort to withdraw bc I'm her manager now and i need professional boundaries so i can do my job well#anyway thats kind of the end of my story#for some context J was previously my manager and briefly also her daughter's manager#and something ive never admitted fo anyone before but you probably picked up on already - i did have such a crush on J
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Nothing makes you wanna work on personal projects more than being trapped in a situation where you can't.
#I want to make a nearly 5 minute animation despite have shit due already. But sometimes a song goes so insanely hard and feels like#a personal attack on your soul and also fits your precious little angel so so well you kinda have to#It just doesn't sit right w me that the only animatic i have done for a ttrpg character is juli. Who is..#Not my favourite character I've played. I love her but man she's just so different from what I do like.
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[cw vent: chronic illness, general world politics mention w no detail)
"man. i'm so tired. i feel like i can't do anything selfship related. is it because my energy's been sapped from family visiting and everyone wanting to do ~summer activities~ nonstop? am i so in my head about "getting ren's story right without stepping over any lines" that i've backed myself into a perfectionist corner? is the world just going to shit so hard that i can't have one (1) minute of escape on this blog before going back to working through the political hellscape we're in? god even trying to make this plushie pattern is killing me even though i want to hold my guy So Badly AUGH."
/finishes the plushie pattern after trying multiple body bases and literally buying a japanese ebook about plushie face and hair design/
"actually what if i lived forever and spent all of that time making an army of these fuckers to swim in? what then?"
#obviously tagging this as#vent -#lol. lmao. anyway.#when i say i spent all day on this... jumping from base to base trying to find one that worked well for what i wanted#and had the right face shape and the easiest way to map a face onto it and know it'll look Right when embroidered...#and then i just caved and bought a book i'd been looking at since i started making mini ren lol#(by p.iyo p.icco -- their y.outube videos influenced mini ren's design and i plan to give that credit once i post final pics#along with the person who made the 10cm doll base i used.)#and it took so much effort and i kept thinking about how Fucking Tired i am and how frustrating it is that playing cards w family#means i have to spend 2 days recovering bc sitting up + in a chair w no good support + mental games + being social = negative battery.#and then i keep going in circles about ren's backstory and the whole 'this is a story about conditions i have but for anyone#who doesn't know me it DEFINITELY reads like a gross story about a stigmatized condition i DON'T have so i have to tread#very carefully when writing about it... but i don't practice writing like i practice art so i'm simply not at the skill level#to navigate that and it makes me feel like i can't post any of that until i figure it out' Thing...#but i DID finish my plushie pattern. and i will start on it sometime this week? depending on Factors? and if i reeeeally like how it#turns out i might buy The Plushie Making Fabric™... i checked at a craft store and buying 1/4yd of both fabrics won't break the bank...#and then i could make all of his AU selves w different expressions 😏#anyway. recovery officially starts in a few days (doc appts and pest control coming over this week + dogsitting in a few days.#not great for recovery lol lmao.) so hopefully i'll be more Around here by this weekend. idk. don't hold me to that kjsndkjn#i might get sucked into plushie making again and disappear for 3 days straight kjsdnfkjsdnf ;;;#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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— leviticus 20:13 on ao3
#i may or may not be working on a new typeset#saying no would be a lie. and lying is a sin.#like oh my god just take me out back and shoot me#what makes this extra ironic#but still when he wants to kiss tetsurou he cannot help but think of sin and trying to convince himself it's okay to ask for what he wants#by saying it would be a sin to lie and that's why it's okay#even tho he doesn't believe in god!!! even tho there's literally no one around that will smite him down or judge him or tell him off#he still impulsively rationalises his choices in terms of what is and isn't a sin#god it's just so painfully catholic#for the record i do not think like this anymore#and i did always think the concept of not sinning because it went against god was a bit ridiculous even as a child that didn't sit right w/#but this is still relatable#and i think all catholics and ex-catholics can relate to the impulse to always moralise our actions breaking out of the need to constantly#justify TO YOURSELF why you do what you do or want what you want#god it's so exhaustinggggg#anyways this is exhibit a million why this kei in particular hits me quite hard#tsukki <3#kurotsuki#haikyuu#also re my post a few days ago about the importance of tsukki being the one to confess first... prime example right here
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Reason number idk to keep my shot day more consistent (tho tbf i had been doing really well on timing up until last week lmao):
Shot day being off means i get extra weepy over just. anything. everything. My brain looks at anything and goes 'oh yeah, that's like (horrible traumatic memory), you 'member that? Yeah, sure ya do! here's a recap of that particular time for ya too.'
and like??? I am not a fan of it today. i mean i never really am but, I have shit to do rn lmao (dishes and i keep having smutty ed/izzy and nathan/pickles ideas that refuse to actually flow on the page once i open a word doc.)
#text post#typing this up more as warning that i might be extra messy the next few days#there's an in person work thing this Friday im terrified of bc my transphobic supervisor is gonna b there and like#it's abt four hours counting travel time so i know I'll need the bathroom at least once while im there and he made a Big Deal of it b4#and i just. am not looking forward to figuring out how to handle this in addition to it being So Many Ppl in One Small Room w/me#my brain deciding that anytime i have even a minor hormonal shift means weeping and constant memory reliving time is not helping that either#all the more reason to keep next week's shot on fucking time!!!!!#but. yeah. might be some sad lil text posts like this and reblogging a lot of my usual fixations to distract myself#but for now: dishes while i consider my ed cockwarming Izzy's strap idea &#my nathan panic proposes to pickles post apocalypse w/the ring he made for Abigail idea#that one is actually mostly written but. doesn't feel quite right yet#i do like the detail that nathan got it in pickles size & planned to resize it for Abigail#bc he didn't know her ring size but he has pickles' memorised along with all his other measurements tbh#so it just. fits right away and is revealed that they designed the ring as their shared dream engagement ring during a frienderbender#and 'whoever finds the right person first can use it with them' but oh. it was made for the right person all along. right there#a stitched up charles officiates while they're just. sitting in a pile of burning rubble aksndjfngn#anyway enough of this i must dishes and address the anxiety stomachache starting now that i thought abt the work thing 💀
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alright.... i quit trying to watch yugioh gx after the manjoume north campus episode bc i was at my gd wit's end with how ridiculous and contrived the "rivalry" between him and judai was and how every duel has seemed to boil down to "i will conveniently draw a card that combines with the specific card i have out, thus activating the most niche special effect you can imagine that perfectly counters my opponent and wins me the game"
but upon doing some further research and encountering comments along the lines of "the first semblance of a plot doesn't start until halfway thru season 1" and "the early duels are laughably bad" i am. deciding to give it another try. please keep me in ur thoughts
#kal i know i said st like 'this show does not respect my time or me as a member of the audience'#and i did admit to having a small crisis about how this is how i'm spending the limited precious hours of my life#but knowing that i've already slogged thru the worst of it and then quit right b4 the plot just doesn't sit right w/ me TT-TT#veer pro tips
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#honestly they moved me to a different office right now so im not alone in my place anymore and tbh i should not be complaining bc at least#this one gets warn fast and im not in the open first to call usually and all but idk i feel like an intruder there and miss having lots of#place and the fact noone seen my screen etc and just overall i would prefer sitting next to the guys but also 😶 idk i just dont like anyone#hearing my phone calls etc and also i fucked up at work today BADLY but noone knows yet and this sounds like i fuck up a lot but i always#called the smaller mistakes this too i guess shskd also i almsof argued with a man who's our client on the phone but for gods sake i do know#i am right and idk if he's making me feel stupid or something or is he using one of my mistakes for his own good idk idk idk it will be a#nightmare to make this work now#and also we are having some kind of meeting with food etc tomorrow in the office upstairs but also rhe atmosphere is so not it and dudes not#at work tomorrow and he should be the one in there and like idk it all works like a fucked up chaos i also almost argued with the d irector#today bc of this lmao almost on dude's behalf bc tht waa the situation that pissed me off first#and i got to walk or catch a bus home tomorrow and like my mind does work so fast and keeps overthinking lately 😕#walking isnt the best best for me tbh#also i made plans with my friend and i do hope i open to her during the weekend bc i want to talk about everything so badly but at the same#time idk like i cant talk about personal things anymore (except here) she doesn't know what is making w suffer 😔#i think i made a decision about monday tho not the best one but both were bad so at least here i am...#anyone i am still helpless and that's what the sentence will end at bc i don't want to say the same thing again and again and again#anywya i have to delete this bc its too much details soon
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the wayv situation truly is so sad because despite it all most of them are very talented young people who are getting nothing thanks to believing they were signing with a proper company when in reality it was the fraud and exploitation store
#like not to be like this but if chenle was a wayv member things would be veryyy different#or maybe not bc sm doesn't care about foreigners especially chinese idols but wayv couldn't have known that because they hadn't met exom#who were just some of the manyyy examples of mistreatment the company has :-)#and it's frustrating because their music is good and they have talent!!!!! and people love groups that genuinely get along together!!!!!!#we need to stop the dream fever i'm so serious. mark should have ''graduated'' and hchan should have left w/ him#idk it doesn't sit right with me that they prioritize someone who openly admitted they didn't want to become an idol#over someone like winwin who didn't go to one of the best dance academies in the world because they signed a contract w/ you for nothing 😭#like yeah i have no voice nor vote in this because there's only four people on nct that i like as of now and i'm not a real wayv fan#but ten and kun are two of those people so 😭 idk it's frustrating they could be so big by now :(#dara.t
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me when im conflicted
#i love cody but im just#why on earth would u give the tag titles to a team that was JUST made specifically for this ppv compared to a literal faction....#it doesn't sit right w me sorry! r they pausing the story or what
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okay i'm not watching the sneeg stream anymore b/c matpat's genloss theory makes me feel icky lol
#paq.txt#i think i reached my limit on watching live content tho so i'm probably not gonna tune into any more streams rn#idk. i get the reasoning behind the theory but it just. doesn't sit right w/ me#oh well! onto better things
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