#it judt hits different
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Me when omegaverse (platonic or romantic)
#i cant help it#men with slick#it judt hits different#thinking about...#omega jason todd#what if i milk him#like he booba i milky#jesus help me#hrnnn batfam omegaverse#pack dynamics#got me giggling and shit
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Akatsuki makes me sick to my stomach
#squid speaks#tldr of the event story its just them going I love You i love You i love you over and over in different ways to eachother#andnit was always souma.its always souma#im so fixated on akatsuki mutial adoration and support and how they judt Understand eachother#but when the kurokei illness hits. my god it will.
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tbh i loathe my social emotional lesrbing class every video lesson inly has 2 questions after it and the first question is How do you respond to this situation and the second question is what happens bc of how you responded. and the correct answers to the second question are always 'the other person appreciated/forgave me' and its like. ok but what if they didnt. like its possible that doesnt happen. you dont get 2 decide how people react to you
#idk. its also judt dumb. it makes up stupid situations like My brother is making a mess and im mad. and you have to say I dont get upset#with my brother for making a mess of our shared.pace.#and then you have to say My brother appreciated and explained that he got hit by a car and couldnt clean up. ajd its like. how is this#supposed to help me learn social inderactions. you are literally just making up scenarios#ik I makeup scenarios in my head all the time but the difference is that im maladapted and need to tearmy brain out ajd hit it with hammers
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I didn't participate in the sexyman tournament because a lot of those characters I understand to be important to people but I've interacted with basically none of the things they're from so it felt unfair to have a say about characters that I don't particularly care for. But when I tell you I blacked out when I saw I had the chance to crown my girl Barbue as queen of tumblr..
#i still don't know who most of the characters ive seen really are#is it fair to call my love of dolls a special interest at this point? the way I've seen them described it really feels like it#like it shouldn't legitimately distress me to see people say mean things about barbie and yet.. i have irrational feelings anyway#i couldn't even check the notes on that poll because after i saw someone say a violent thing about rainbow dash in another one#i judt knew i couldn't check these anymore#i mean. as someone in the brony fandom in 2012 i had Definitely read about violence towards rainbow dash#but it hit different this time idk
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thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .
#mildly joke but im so excited those specials were so fun...#we watched all the 14th dr specials bc Major donna fan ohh my god they were fun i liked them....#i worry im like. being unfair somehow. but i loved like..some of the things with 13 i just likee. the writing it was..off to me... sigh. i#rly wish her seasons had better writers i suppose. BUT. im excited bc my mom told me 15s run is super good so far#i cant believe im almost caught up wndr who. a crazy world i live in. i suppose next me and my mom will have to huddle around an old timey#radio like max n ruby to listen to the audio dramas#and then wencan read bedtime stories to eachother or something#Or of course i could just track down the old series. KDNFJFN. but the computer always its a commodity...#but ya. those were funn i rly liked the like. 2 of them had a bit of body horror like. mild babys first body horror. but i liked it. and#they were funnyyy god i missed donna so bad the show is SO funny with her there. the chemistry w her and 10nis just chefs kiss. loves it#i feel bad bc i liked the like. Suggested personalities of the last companions but they felt kind of lackluster in practice ? like..it felt#like we were told how they were but in practice they kind of just. were there. and then would react to the dr. and then were judt there#idk... i wish they had been more like. fleshed out one supposes#it rly to me feels like they spent 13s seasons kind of just farting around and then covid hit and they were like Fuck now we have to like.#avtually write a plot#flux was like. i think you can do a storyline w like. a bunch of different plotlines that all ties up but it was confusing#😭😭 it ws like. ig rhe most engaged i was w/ 13 but thats just bc stuff was being thrown at me constantly...#but ya. its rly nice to see donna again after having a bunch of companions who just didnt feel like they got their time to shine. in my eyes#bc donna feels so well written and real and like. believable to me. like it feels like shes an active member instead of like. just standing#around and then having her alloted 4 minute emotional conversation before jumping back into action. yk#also i literally said as soon as the bigeneration happens Oh rhis is good 14 can judt go be a weird uncle. ajd then he literally did#so funny tho that rose and donna get their own tennant doctors and then my best friend martha is just chopped liver ig.#good for her tho. that man needs to stay away from her (joke)#but ya. YAY. intrigued by nailpolish woman its also fun bc weve gotten to the point where my mom has only watched the episodes once#so she knows less and its more fresh for her#which is rly fun. im a little worried about umm. when were fully caught up#bc i believe my mom and dad watch the eps together#and like. yk. much love to my dad but like. idk me and my mom have a specific sort of banter when we watch and like. he sits in sometimes#and i tend to just go silent 😭😭😭#its like. not a conscious thing i just. yk. i have trouble being Relaxed when theyre in the same room together
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I don't have the energy to actually write much about Sebastian knowing proper choking techniques, so just a quick thought:
Ignoring an obvious kinky undertone that I strongly get the vibe from for Seb, I judt know he's been choked a time or two and has picked up techniques through bascially osmosis, lmao, what if Seb knows how to choke someone properly because of his role for Bucky? The winter soldier does it a shit ton. He had to have been trained for that. Stunts don't fuck around and choreography takes time to learn. Time that, Chris, we know, takes less of. He picks up stunts wildly fast, being shown beats back to back and parroting them perfectly. Seb, like a normal human, takes more time.
So, Sebastian probably worked a lot more with the stunt doubles and stunt performers before finally having Chris show up for a few practice runs before the final shot.
They practice a lot.
They test a few different camera angles, trying to figure out exactly how to solve this artistic problem. The tension pulls Chris' muscles into a tangled knot of anticipation. He could vibrate out of his fucking skin.
The intensity of that repeat repeat repeat, hand-around-your-neck problem solving is hell. Sisyphean if the boulder were pressing on your throat and you liked it. It's the closest Chris has been to Seb. Maybe. They've shot lots of scenes. Lots of stunts. None quite like this, though. Even when they were wrestling, all but fucking grinding, for Captain America: Winter Soldier, Chris at least knew how terribly torturous that would be, how much he would struggle through gritted teeth not to get hard. Here, now, he didn't expect this. It hits.
It's good.
It shouldn't be. But it is.
Chris has been fucking lusting after Seb hard since that first film--who could stare up at Sebastian (standing on an apple box to give the illusion hieght difference for skinny Steve) and not fall madly in love lust with such a pretty man--and needing to have his fist, cold and hard yet so gentle and caring every time they call cut, wrapped around his throat for his fuckin' job only makes it worse.
It was worse already when Seb showed up to set jacked outta fucking control, looking thick as fuck, prowling around, heavy and taking up space but still being so fucking sweet.
It's worse than worse the next morning when Chris rolls over in bed, sleeping naked, to feel a low, thrumming ache deep in the tendons and muscles of his throat to go with the gentle, expected pulse of morning wood between his legs--he knows how he gets on set with Sebastian, so close to him, breathing in his cologne, watching his face evolve, choking back the constant urge to praise his skill, his beauty, his everything.
Chris knows, immediately, with such a sensation around his neck even without the assistance of a mirror that he's got bruising, probably faint. He's just pale enough for it to show, he's sure, but, yes, bruising.
Huh.
Chris swallows on reflex, his mouth suddenly dry, then again on purpose, reveling in the ghostly, intimate sensation of squeezing touch. Tight. Touch. Just enough constriction to make him start to feel the edge of dizzy, like being tipsy.
Yeah.
The memories of yesterday lazily replay in Chris' tired mind.
A shiver rolls through him, leaving behind an army of goosebumps raised over his bare skin despite the heat of his body trapped in his bedsheets. The idea of Sebastian touching him--touching him--his mark left on his body, pressed into his skin, reminding him of exactly what he did, grabbed him and pulled him close, biceps fucking bulging, shoulders shifting, eyes so intense, mouth pink, face, just, like that.
God.
Chris remains in his bed, swallowing, sweating, and... thinking... for a little longer than he should.
He's late for his call time.
And he absolutely does not blush when the makeup artist clicks their tongue, carefully brushing their fingers across his jaw this way and that to get a sense of the bruising, and tells him he should ask the director for a raise. The stunt performers get adjustments, you know, when they take a really hard fall, so should you. That, or, see if you can bruise Seb up in return--they don't mean it, everyone loves Seb on set. It's impossible not to, look at the guy!
Chris doesn't want a raise. He doesn't want... he wants... he kinda wants Seb to do it again. He might really want to ask Seb to show him how so he can use it against him 🥴🥴 He wants red-faced and gasping and hitching breaths that are more moans than anything else, he wants eyes rolling back, he wants trembling, he wants lips loosely whimpering tighter, harder, more, please 😮💨
#you KNOW at least once during those takes Chris' breath hitched and then came out rough... almost like a moan... almost like he really liked#feeling seb's hand around his throat more than he should#fandomfluffandfuck#chris evans#sebastian stan#evanstan#rpf#real person fanfiction
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So a few different ideas about minotaur maxy cos am spiralling:
Maxy moo being born a minotaur after the curse hit pregnant Nico and Nico managing to run away with his baby when Maxy is like 8 or 9 months old or so, after which they live happily ever after with Lewis at the tower and Maxy gets to have his childhood with momma!
Max cursed later on in life? Like maybr when he is like 6 or 7 so still a kiddo but had more time with momma and it breaks Nico to leave his baby in the labyrinth and gets banished himself, living in poverty around the maze trying to find a way in to at least be with his baby! And poor Max just calling for his momma a lot🥲 maybe someone gets thrown in as punishments, the minotaur might bot be big enough to kill but the maze itself can. Maybe it's a young single momma like Seb? Nico sees Seb getting thrown in ans tries to tell him about his baby moo, and after takes care of Seb's young son Charles the best he can. Meanwhile Seb coming across The Fearsome Beast who is judt a little boy drawing stars on the floor with chalk and he will try to get this litlte thing out with him!
Alternatively, it taking many many years for anything to happen, poor Nico never leaves the area, always stays close to the maze but he never manages to get his baby out. He knows Max is still alive because he is made to fight in the arena sometimes and Nico cries seeing his poor baby frantic and confused trying to find off animals and other monsters. He I'd never killed tho, he is too important to keep, but he is scarred and scared🥺 Maybe it's still Charles being thrown in and Charles is the child of Seb and Toto (the kind advisor helping Nico as much as possible while hiding he has a family cos the king doesn't allow it!) And Charles gets thrown in the maze after saying no to the advances of the new Prince. Toto alerting nico and Nico manages to get into the maze with Seb after Toto creates a commotion. Please the two mommas stumbling in to the centre of the maze and Seb instsntly has his arms full of Charles, who is relieved but not hurt! Meanwhile Nico trying to approach Max but Max is so confused, Nico smells familiar but he csnt place it, maybe its someone who tried to hurt or ridicule him before? He is so tense and maybe tries to hide behind Charles? And poor Nico bursts into tears going "don't you remember me, Maxy? My little star, I am your momma..." and Maxy rasps that hid mother thought he was a monster and put him here, that's what he was always told...
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HELLO please tell me about your cd collection?? i would love to hear about it genuinely
HAIII BELL!!! i am more than happy to talk about my cds!!!
i included pics of my current collection 🕺!
i’ve been collecting them most of my life. i got given a cd player at a young age which is why i started collecting. as a kid it was mostly so fresh & now hits of summer cds that are still somewhere in the house (also alvin & the chipmunks).
these days i collect them because my car is old and doesn’t have aux or bluetooth so cds and the radio get me through. i’ve included pics of my glovebox, the ones that live in a bag cause i have too many to fit in said glovebox & my current listen. i’ll just list them as they appear and where i got them from!!
gorillaz, the now now- bought first hand. at the time i was listening to it almost daily
gorillaz, demon days- actually belongs to my sister. she doesn’t have a cd player so it judt lives in my car for when we go on drives
twenty one pilots, trench- a gift for my birthday last year. i have most of tøps discography and i was obsessed with it when it released (saw them in concert & everything)
my chemical romance, the black parade- found this one in an op shop. there’s a few i got at the same time, some emo must’ve donated their collection in one go. love this album its one i listen to a lot
panic! at the disco, a fever you cant sweat out- also found in the op shop haul!
panic! at the disco, pretty odd- another op shop haul find. i didn’t listen to this album a load back then compared to the rest of their stuff but its one of my faves now
my chemical romance, three cheers for sweet revenge- shocking news, found this in the op shop haul!
bastille, all this bad blood- at some point during my teens i spend my pocket money on this. definitely glad i still have it, there’s so much music on that album & i still love bastille
twenty one pilots, blurryface- another one i spent my pocket money on!!
twenty one pilots, vessel- another pocket money purchase
fall out boy, folie à deux- found in the op shop haul. didn’t even listen to this album at the time & i forgot i had it until way after i fixated on it and then went through my collection again
fall out boy, infinity on high- another op shop find, very fun find!! was a fave at the time
fall out boy, american beauty/american psycho- op shop haul find!!
fall out boy, save rock and roll- op shop haul find!!!
my chemical romance, danger days- my brother found this one in an op shop for me
will wood and the tapeworms, everything is a lot- bought this one online when he dropped the last of the original pressings a few years back. its signed but the signature is rubbing off a bit
will wood, in case i make it- i got this one when i backed the album when he was fundraising for it
the libertines, up the bracket- i think my mum gave this to me, i’ve never listened to it lol
janelle monáe, the archandroid- dad gave this to me. one of my favourite albums of all time
sara bareilles, whats inside: songs from waitress- this was a pocket money buy. i think i bought this before i actually listened to the waitress musical? so it was my introduction to it and then waitress was what made me fall in love with musical theatre
the hush sound, like vines- found this in a record shop. was very excited, i was playing one of their songs on repeat at the time
pulp, different class- mum gave me this one as well
the breeders, cannonball- my dad got it for my brother who didn’t want it and i slid in like hi, yes i love the breeders, this is mine bye.
troye sivan, wild- a pocket money buy. i really wanted blue neighbourhood but they only had this ep so its what i got
sara bareilles, the blessed unrest- another pocket money buy, i had a huge sara bareilles phase at some point in highschool
the scary jokes, retinal bloom- bought this one in one of the packs when the album was about to be dropped. gawd i love the scary jokes
the scary jokes, burn pygmion!!! a better guide to romance- what i listened to todayyy. probably my number one album ever this was a christmas gift!!
theres two fob cds i skipped cause they’re just a compilation & cd that all the songs on are on my other cds.
theres so many more that have come and left my collection but this is where its at now and i can’t waiiiit to find more!! especially w my damn car. NOW TELL ME ABOUT YOURS (please ^3^!)
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okay chat. slightly infuriated. i will back up this individual
HIGH HIGH HIGH. emphasis on their caption. like i get u fr. i WAS. this person too and it sucks sry but like seriously talking to someone who just cant help themselves is so tiring. im a hypocrite cuz i was this person and bless everyones souls who talked to me despite it but god? hello? sorry i know my experience isnt the same as everyone but u know ur not gonna get better if u dont try. ahain ji agree cuz of like, comfort in sadness, some people dont wanna get better, etc etc. but im just saying eventually u’ll have enough. this is morbid chat but if u havent killed urself by now then does thag not say something??? u’ll get tired. tired of hating urself and tired of being sad all the tome and depressd and hating ebrrything it will hit u ebentually. u people who say this just havent hit that point yet (and maybe some people just never will but thats a whole different discussion and not to add fuel to the fire but also maturity?)
like chat be mad all u want but thats judt kinda how it is. its not a savior complex usually it often comes down to just caring? wanting to help ur friends cuz theyre struggling? like the idea that yeah i dont have to help u but i want to because i care. for me it goes down towards that toxic empathy struggle again cuz i cant control that . i carw so soosososo much and its so sickening to me to see people hurting and okay. sure maybe i can stand back but you know like……. it sucks. just sayign. like now i kinda understand how it is coming from both sides and maybe this is a thing of selfishness cuz like “u shljld care more ab the other person!” but thgs what im doing??? i care so much ot makes me sick. its just like uuugh i have so much shit i cpuld say ab this but naaah im tired its jjst like… you’ll get there eventually and youll understand and if u dont? you’ll kill urself im being so fr. u will die in that hole bcuz thats where you’ve put urself
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hey! i want LORE on your hippie ghouls (really loved their designs, they're so different and recognisable). are they some kind of a community? and what are relationships between them?
Totally! There are some more ghouls, humans, and mutants to come in the future, as well! Judt gotta do some more design work haha
I've also been planning to post lore, I just wanted to get some drawings to post with them for ✨️ flavor ✨️, but since you asked, I can share some!
Warning: this will be very rambly and I'm doing it on mobile at 1 am 🤡
The community they're from has existed since years before the war, starting as a hippie house by Lake Arcadia on Route 66 (I wanted to use some landmarks, again, for ✨️ flavor ✨️. Such as Pops, even though it was built after the 50-70's, it's got such a vibe. Info on how the bombs affected the state will come later on with different lore posts. This will include wildlife, weather patterns, factions/gangs etc...)
Most of the ghouls in the house, which name keeps changing every couple minutes because I can't settle on one... for now let's just call it Rainbow Garden because I Do Not Know. Lmao. The house was settled in by Jolene and Kenny who are de facto leaders of the community, though Jolene takes charge mostly. Even before the bombs dropped, Jolene was organizing protests and planning events, always ready to protect her family from cops and 'vigilantes' that might want to harm them. She's the kind to "be kind and love others but take no bullshit". Kenny is more laid back in comparison. The two are partners, though there will be more on them and their relationship later.
Folks that lived at the house prior to the bombs included them, a yet-to-be-seen ghoul named Gray Swan and her family, Russ, and (technically) Dezi. Dezi had been away for a couple years for a protest when the bombs dropped. They're a very lucky person is what I'll tell ya, now 💀. She made it back to the house, thankfully. Betty also lived there in a van she had parked in the house's driveway. She ran out of gas while visiting and just stayed. (I have more ghouls to design who did not live in the house, and any ghoul or person is also welcome to move in lol!)
Now (in latest game time, I suppose), humans have moved in, as has a super mutant named Melon and his son. Melon and his son ARE designed, but I gotta design the humans. I have so many characters to design for this and other projects fr lmao
In brief:
Jolene is a tough yet kind leader. She is open to change and open to anyone who has a good heart. She is vain and cares about her appearance-- and her wigs-- just about as much as she does her family.
Kenny is a laid-back fella. He lets Jolene take the lead and is perfectly comfortable in it. He is a very unqualified doctor, but has learned a lot in his years of patching folks up after protests. He will fight for what he's passionate about.
Dezi is a bit of a nut, in the best way. They're insanely passionate, if you can't tell by them leaving for YEARS to engage in a very crazy protest (loosely based off real events). They were devastated after the bombs dropped and, despite higher education, seems to having a growing interest in science.
Russ is a bit of a loner, doesn't talk to folks too much, but is a very bright artist who makes gifts for those he cares about. He always liked to give back to the community and, now that there isn't much left, occasionally leaves the house to do graffiti in nearby towns.
Betty was hit hard by radiation, and her glowing nature pushes her to being very careful ever since humans have moved into their community. It's hard for her, as she was a very bubbly young lady. She, like many in the community, were devastated by the change in her voice. Singing was one of her favorite things, after all.
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Oh nooo! I had the same problem with my nails breaking but they finally started growing out, tho I don't like having them too long anymore.
I've been dancing ballet for about 8 years now but I recently also got into swing, whuch if you don't know are a group of vintage dances originating from the 20s onwards. I absolutelly love it, they take you into a completely different world and the community is so nice. Definitelly very different from ballet, but I still love ballet, tho I've been slowly lessening the intensity at which I do it.
Your walks sound so cute:) Maybe I should take a page from your book and install pokemon go to motivate me hehe. I definitelly don't go out enough, oopsie. I'm not sure I would say running will become a habit, but I like that I'm proving to myself that I can do it and that it can be enjoyable. And it's so cool you liftt, I have had urges to start but I end up being a bit scared of the new situation.
Also for the question part of this ask: do you ever listen to music during sex? I remembered this one from the list of asks you rebloged. I haven't ever given it thought and then once I did I could not think of what would be something to listen while. Hopefully the ask isn't too invasive, I'm judt curious but of course don't feel like you have to answer it.
-your sleepy anon
Ohh forgot to say I hope you have a nice day:) And yesterday I had a tough day and it honestly made me smile when I saw your response.
Hmm that's fair, long nails can be tricky too
Oohh that is so cool! I always admired ballet dancers, it just looks so elegant Swing sounds fun as well! I'm glad you like the community 😊
Pokemon go for sure was a big motivator for me to go outside more It sounds silly, but a few months ago I went through a bad depressive episode and rarely left the house, but for some reason trying to find new pokemon, collect cute ones and looking for pokestops really helped with going outside more It also started with just tiny 10-15 minute walks, but now I can be gone for over an hour fighting in gyms and catching pokemons It still feels silly to explain to people a game made me walk more, but you know, if it's silly but it works, it's not really that silly I get that! It doesn't have to be or become a habit, but it's great that you have proved that to yourself, so proud of you :) Lifting was for sure scary in the beginning, just the gym, the people, the using weights and machines I still get nervous from time to time but I happen to train at a nice gym with superfriendly employees, I've even had the courage to ask for help a couple times and they were so nice about it
Oohh a question! I do yeah, not always but having music on while having sex or doing naughty things can be very nice or useful! I actually have a sex playlist lmao, although I do need to go through it sometime and remove some songs But it can be nice when you are not home alone to reduce the chance of other people hearing you, it can help set the mood if you have the right music or be useful when you are doing impact play Impact play can be quite loud so having some music can help muffle those sounds Also Daddy sometimes hits me to the beat of the music, which is very funny xD It wasn't an invasive ask at all! Don't worry 😊
Hihi it's okay! I hope you have a nice day as well Ahww really? 🥺 that makes me happyy :)
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HIIII HI HI IM OFFICIALLY CAUGHT UP ON DREAMSTUCK AGAIN HELL YES. GOOD SHIT. ok now bc it is on my mind. i am DYING to know ur classpect thoughts on judt. everybody. handing u a free pass to ramble. u dont have to do all of them bc thats a lot but if u have favorites 👁👁 i am looking
OUGGOHIGIG WELLLL IF U INSIST
ok ok. jack. motherfucking manifold. likeeee cjack drives me insane i hope u know that idk what crack he put into his silly little minecraft rp character but it drives me insane. pages lack their own aspect/concepts related to their aspect right. cjack died so many times but it just NEVER STICKS. he wicks it off like its nothing. he’s miserable yes but nothing will ever give him the relief of dying. ds!jack is going to suffer that same fate. “Those bound to the aspect of Doom are fate's chosen sufferers. At their worst, they are bitter, resentful, and fatalistic.” CAN YOU HEAR MEEEEE!!! I’m so going to lean into the “Fate’s chosen sufferer” thing later on in the story. it’s killing me. cursed to keep living no matter what happens, even if death would be preferable. yeagh
also ummm. witch of breath hannah. channah has had her autonomy taken from her by the egg, by her wings burning and leaving her ground-bound, and breath is all about freedom. i want her to take it back yk. i want her to snatch her freedom from the universe and be able to DO THINGS. ds!hannah is going to be pushed and pulled in a thousand different directions until she snaps. the hand that feeds her is also the one that hits her and she’s going to bite it. i want her to go fucking feral
KNIGHT OF HOPE CPUFFY. HELLO. do u remember is dsmp when eret decided to make a faction against the egg and named it the knights of hope and puffy was one of them. puffy also used to be one of eret’s knights way back in the beginning as well LIKEEE. shes constantly trying to protect people she’s defensive she helps people she pours her entire being into the things she cares about. she’s so knight coded. there’s no other class for her i think. also the fact that it’s always eret who she’s the knight of. something something the unbreakable relationship between the space player and the knight who helped breed the genesis frog and the universe being built from their two hands etc etc. also remember her during the banquet after cfoolish was killed. i think if cpuffy had been allowed to shine during lore more like that she could have either fucked shit up or maybe fixed the entire server ngl. she’s THAT powerful i think. genuinely. she was so determined to make things better and if she’d been allowed to she could have gone down two paths: knocked some sense into everyone and rallied them all against a common enemy (cdream) and gotten rid of the biggest problem on the server, or snapped and set off the nukes herself in a wave of unbridled frustration. a knight of hope is a very powerful thing yk. and if cpuffy couldn’t reach her full potential in dsmp then BY GOD I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN IN DREAMSTUCK.
i feel like it would b a crime if i didn’t talk about. cWilbur. my little prospit dreamer destructive heart player meow meow <3 like u know how he is. he hates himself more than anything. he’s obsessed with himself. he knows he made something beautiful and amazing but also he thinks every single problem ever is his fault. he can’t stand himself. he regrets everything he’s ever done but if he did things differently maybe he wouldn’t be the same person he is now and that thought both elates him and terrifies him. dirk imploded with self hatred, and wilbur EXPLODES with it. he destroys other things with the contradicting force of his own identity. he dies and comes back RIGHT. but also wrong. very wrong. but it’s also the best he’s felt in decades. yk. he’s a walking juxtaposition and that’s so incredibly heart player of him.
ok ok this is getting long so i’m going 2 leave it at them for now. honourable mentions for classpects that drive me crazy go to: csam thief of heart, which makes me want to gnaw on plywood; ctechno prince of rage, because AUGH AIOAUBAIGH AISHkgGHH HRGHNGBGNNHN; cbad prince of blood, because oh my god. ohhhh my goD oh my god; and cponk sylph of mind, because urnghnghn *sounds of me chewing on styrofoam*
#dsmp classpects#dreamstuck#whiskeys word soup#will probably expand on others that drive me batshit up the fucking belfry later#but right now i ammmm. augahgahah#used up all my braincells writing this. they drive me crazy <3
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i jwu from a bad dream and i judt need to share it for my mental health. its sorta mixed with the conjuring but besides that. my crush was fucking a twink male prosti on like a live tiktok (but for s3x n stuff). and he was racist homophobic in the dream, so it came as a shock to everyone and it made me mad and sad.
context in the dream prior to the twink prosti: we were recreating barbie movies, like a playdate with him, a friend, a supervising adult, and ncuti gatwa (he was my bestie). the supervising adult was nonchalant and the three of us were playing. it was clear to them (not him) that i was trying to seduce him. wearing super short shorts and loose crop top.
me, ncuti, and friend went off to get food. the adult no where to be found. walking back, there were streets with.. different characters of kink? being a group of cruel bitches, we were making fun of them. laughs and such, we enter the building thingy to find him and the twink moving together. being sweaty and bodily fluids all over but still had most their clothes on.
they were on the said live, and ncuti was on the same live and jumped in on it, going "wtf are u doing". the two were unaware that we were behind them. my crush too enagaged in pleasure to even realize he's being recorded. (he hates getting his pic taken irl)
there was something that ncuti said that broke him in a trance, that's when i lunged in and yelled at them for being gross. i was saying things like, "you were supposed to be my first!" "youre not homophobic!" "you knew i liked you" i freaked out and started hitting him while he gets his pants back on, saying nothing and looking down.
when i woke up, i still feel so hurt. maybe because dream me felt like even if she wore diamonds as lingerie, he still wouldn't bat an eye on me. like all her efforts to make him like her was so foolish of her. dream me felt like she's so unwanted that he'll fuck anything but her. and im so sad for her. my heart physically aches at the thought of my inner unconscious self being so heartbroken from my conscious confession (that lead to me not getting rejected but also not being reciprocated).
i just thought to share my pain.
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Rick was panting, in anger, deep anger- after he missed the punch, he was breathing so so fast, in and out, eyes teary, full of hate, as if some monster wanted to break free from Rick's body tear that version of him apart and come out- the same Rick who had killed Gareth, Joe, those Saviors- such a savage side of him, all his frustration and hate, condensed, accumulating every day, for years now- having those short outbursts- like when he killed 68 walkers on a row-
Then Jadis lowered her arms, told him to hit her- Rick approached her more, shaking, but he judt shouted, yelled, roared at her- it was loud and feral and so painful and long. It sure would attract the walkers wandering nearby. But that was his rage- it had to come out or it would kill him...or her. Better to release in a shout than by jumping on her and tearing her apart. There was also sadness and suffering in that cry. He had spoken and talked so many times already, maybe now she would underdand his pain and rage, how he felt- his grief
As the first walkers got closer, faster, Rick threw himself at them, tactical knife on his right, the blade of his prosthetic hand on his left, he seemed like a monster, ripping the faces of those walkers, punching with his left, slashing and twisting with his right- the metal hand crushing the faces with impact- whenever walkers gathered to bite Rick, he would push his left metal hand into their mouths, give the protected left forearm for them to bite the hard material shielding it.
Rick always had been fast, but due to his light weight and mid height, his strikes would often get stuck, or he had to use an axe for extra impact. But now it was so different. Rick's strikes were just...going through the walkers making it look easy. Despite all the weight of the equipment, Rick moved so fast, his slashes precise, blood spilling all over.
The man went berserk, shouting at the walkers, yelling back at them, grabbing their throats with his left hand and twisting- in the middle of that gore, he looked like a monster.
Five, ten, fifteen...Rick took down so many and so fast, as he was shouting, they were fast to come at him, and Rick was fast to finish them on. Almost a pile formed around him- when he was done, he stumbled back to Jadis, he had never moved far from her. He was silent, quiet finally, head low. The berserk explosion he had...it had ended. He was just panting, and he stopped by her side, looking down, not challenging her anymore with his eyes, he settled near her like some obedient dog. His hair was wet, so messy over his face. His body was so warm, heat coming from him passing to the air around, the soft low whimpers and groans that came by the end of his panting were so painful and sad, until he became nearly silent.
@annestokes
🤜
She saw his fist coming right at her face and she quickly dodged it. Did Rick seriously just try to punch her? Yeah, he did. And was she shocked by that? Slightly she thought that they had an understanding. That they were going to try and work together. But maybe she was wrong, It wouldn't be the first time she had been. Not to mention she didn't think that after the deal that they had made he would still be holding these feelings towards her. Yeah, she wasn't that good, But everything that she did and does was for a reason.
"Seriously Rick?" She asked her tone of voice held shock but who could blame her. " I thought we were past this." She told him as she stood there. She could tell that he was going to try again to hit her. And part of her was honestly wondering if she should just let him. Maybe if she let him hit her he would get it out of his system then maybe they could actually work together. Because at the moment they were in a very shitty susation and if they didn't work together she was sure that there was a good chance that they were going to die.
"Fine, You want to do this now Rick… Let's do it. Punch me.. Beat the hell out of me. " She looked at him as she lowered her arms from a defensive position to rest at her side. " Do it Rick, Get it out of your system now because I don't know about you but I think we need to work together so that we can have a chance to get the hell out of here. Alive." She said just as she heard the sounds of walkers growling. The thing was these were different walkers, Stronger, Faster, and harder to kill. " So make up your mind Rick… We don't have much time." @rickgrimesdoingrickthings
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Soooooo yall know how I put my fairy lights up over my bed a bit ago? I also got some fake vines to put up inbetween the strands because itd look pretty.
It does! But unforseen side-effect; Now the shadow people i see in the corner of my eyes are closer!
#leaving it up though cause its REAL pretty#need more so i can cover the roof part too but thats for a later time#shadow people have moved from my door to the side of my bed? theyre not actually shadow people jts judt things in the dark that stick out#where it was a chair across the room its now leaves right by my bed. cahse the dark hits em different idk but id like the shadow people to#chill a lil#go haunt my closet like normal shadow people or does the whole no door thing make it unacceptable
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mobile post but i’m on the east coast! my sister is graduating also so we’re coming to visit. i just landed like 3 hours ago and i’m exhausted but i just wanna let y’all know the activity might be spotty for the next couple of days 😊
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