#it is very long and i want people to be able to read it
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rosiewitchescottage ¡ 14 hours ago
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Let's get context here.
When we're talking
'let's get rid of or discourage anyone from reading these books'.
- Reason? Usually because there's some theme that certain people don't want to be known about, or because someone has issues with an author.
100% agreed that this is BAD - Books that talk about slavery, books that talk about The Holocaust.
These should always be widely available, even if they're not very well written, tell the story from an unusual angle or maybe get facts wrong.
All these have the value of getting the subject talked about, and the history studied.
Books that tell m/m or f/f love stories or show a family that simply has two dads or two mums. These books should be available, because whether people approve or disapprove, same sex relationships are a reality.
And as long as they're treated the same way as we'd expect a m/f couple to be, in a book aimed at the same age group, then where's the harm?
Then there's the saga of J K Rowling. You don't like her? You don't want to read her books? Well good news, because you don't have to do either.
But say that no one else should either? Try to erase J K Rowling as author of her own work?
Then don't go expecting to be seen as doing something 'good'.
When we're talking
"These books contain sexual/sexually related words and/or images, which makes them unsuitable for children and young teens. They do not belong in a school library or children's library'.
Then why would anyone have issue with these books being removed from such places?
As far as I know these books can be bought by parents for home use. So they're not getting outright banned.
People talk about children who've been sexually assaulted and needing to talk about what happened to them. And that's important. But I'm still not seeing how all these overly sexual details are necessary.
There's a world of difference between simply naming the body parts where no one should be touching them, especially not grown ups, and using the language of sexual acts!
We can and should be able to name all our body parts, using the right words. And children should know what constitutes a healthy and loving relationship.
But we can help them to talk about violations of this without language that they shouldn't need to know before the middle teens, at the earliest.
And this is NOT supposed to be an anti LGBT matter. This should apply whether a book is showing opposite sex or same sex couples.
As I said earlier. Little children should be able to see families with two same sex parents as well as opposite sex parents, or indeed grandparents.
The issue with 'Grandpa's Pride' shouldn't be that Grandpa has a male partner.
If this was shown exactly the same way that any other grandparents would be. Then I'd be singing a different tune.
Show Grandpa and his partner holding hands and happy, fine. But why the heck do little ones need to see leather BDSM Daddies?! 😡😡😡
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pbaz7 ¡ 2 days ago
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ONE SHOT: HEAT CHECK
paige x azzi
warning: sexual content (whores 😒)
word count: 10.2k
A/N: This idea was not mine at all so all praise to the anon who sent me the prompt. I hope I was able to make your vision come to life lol. Let me know what you think! Very minimal proof reading this time so spare me
—————————————————————————
Paige had convinced herself she was fine, she was great actually. Really, she was.
Sure, her WNBA debut was one of the biggest moments of her life. Sure, she had spent the last 24 hours checking her phone, hoping for some last-minute miracle text from Azzi. But Azzi was in California for an endorsement meeting—one Paige knew was too important to miss.
It’s fine, she told herself again and again all day. She was now tugging at the hem of her warm-up shirt as she stood in the tunnel before tip-off. Azzi had sent her a long, sweet text a few hours ago, promising to watch the game no matter what. Paige could practically hear Azzi’s voice in the words, telling her she’d be amazing, that she’d be right there with her in spirit.
Still, it wasn’t the same.
She had wanted Azzi there. Needed her there, to fall into her arms after the game.
“Damn, P, you good?” Arike nudged her as they jogged back onto the court.
Paige blinked. “Yeah, why?”
“You just look... a little tense.”
Paige forced a grin. “It’s just the nerves.”
And it was. But it was also the fact that the one person she wanted to see in the stands—the only person whose opinion matters—wasn’t going to be there.
She glanced toward the front rows, taking in the packed arena. She couldn’t help but chuckle when she noticed some people.
Ice, KK, Sarah, Morgan and empty seats next to them surely for some other teammates.
They were one row back from the courtside seats, already settled in, talking amongst themselves. KK had her feet kicked out in front of her, looking completely at home, while Ice was scrolling through her phone. Sarah and Morgan were in conversation, but Paige could tell from the way Sarah was laughing that Morgan had just said something ridiculous.
A grin broke across Paige’s face.
But before she could even process it fully, the lights dimmed, signaling the start of player introductions.
She exhaled, shaking out her hands.
Okay. This was good.
Her people were here.
Well… almost all of them.
She swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing herself to focus.
The first half of the first quarter had been a blur. Paige had settled into the game quickly, feeding off the energy of the packed arena, her nerves long gone as she focused on what she did best. She hadn’t even thought too much about Azzi—not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t afford to.
Paige was sitting on the bench during a timeout when the crowd erupted out of nowhere, loud and excited, their cheers rising above the usual buzz of a timeout. Paige, confused, wiped her face with a towel and glanced at the jumbo screen, searching for whatever had them going crazy.
Paige swore her mouth went dry.
Azzi was sitting courtside, waving to the camera like she knew exactly what she was doing. Her hair was in goddess braids—her go-to summer look—but it wasn’t just the hair that caught Paige off guard. It was the entire outfit.
Cowboy hat. Cowboy boots. A very short jean skirt. And Paige’s #5 Dallas Wings jersey.
Azzi was chewing her gum lazily, her glossed lips moving slightly in the process. She turned her head toward the court, her gaze locking on Paige like she had been waiting for this exact moment. A slow, smirk tugged at her lips before she sent Paige a quick wink.
Paige felt her pulse stutter.
“Oh damn,” Lou murmured beside her, letting out a low whistle. “She looks hot.”
Paige exhaled sharply, shaking her head as she wiped her towel across her face again, as if that would somehow cool her down.
Azzi just kept smirking.
The timeout buzzer sounded, but Paige was still sitting there, gripping her towel, her mind catching up to the fact that Azzi had somehow made it. Had gone out of her way to be here. Had done it all without telling her.
She didn’t know whether to laugh or drag Azzi out of her seat as soon as the game was done.
One thing was for sure, though—she’d be thinking about that damn outfit for the rest of the game.
After the timeout, Paige tried to refocus, but it was impossible to ignore Azzi, sitting courtside, looking like that.
Paige was doing her best to stay locked in, but every time the ball left her hands, she felt a certain pair of brown eyes on her. When she drained a deep three from the wing, she knew exactly where to look.
Her gaze flickered to Azzi, who was already watching her, the corners of her lips tugging up in the smallest smile. She didn’t cheer, didn’t do anything flashy like their friends in the row behind her—just raised her eyebrows slightly, as if to say, that’s cute.
Paige fought back a smirk as she jogged back on defense.
She didn’t have time to get caught up in whatever game Azzi was playing. Paige and Arike were playing off of each other perfectly. Their ball movement was seamless, as if they had played together for years and the defense was scrambling to keep up. Every time the defense adjusted, they had another move ready, feeding off each other in a way that made it clear just how dangerous this duo was going to be in the future.
But then, late in the quarter, Paige had to inbound the ball—right in front of Azzi’s seat.
She swallowed, walking over as the cameras in the arena turned in their direction. The moment stretched between them, tension buzzing in the air as Paige took her place near the sideline.
Azzi, fully aware of the attention on them, just leaned back in her seat, crossing her legs as she sipped her drink through a straw. It was a simple action—calm, almost nonchalant—but Paige could smell her perfume, that warm vanilla scent mixed with something slightly sweet, and it had her clenching her jaw just a little tighter.
Azzi must have noticed because she glanced up at Paige through her lashes, her lips curving just slightly before she took another sip of her drink, covering her smirk behind the straw so the camera couldn’t see.
Paige exhaled through her nose, biting the inside of her cheek at the attention.
Azzi didn’t say a word.
She didn’t need to.
She already knew Paige was thinking about her.
The ref finally handed Paige the ball, and she shifted back into game mode, shaking her head slightly to clear her thoughts as she got ready to make the inbound pass.
…
As soon as the final buzzer sounded and the win was officially in the books, Paige barely registered anything else. The moment she finished the postgame handshakes, she was already untucking her jersey, her feet moving on autopilot toward Azzi and her old teammates waiting courtside.
Azzi didn’t stand right away. She let Paige greet Ice, KK, Morgan, and Sarah first, all of them pulling her into hugs, hyping her up.
“You were hoopin’ tonight girly,” KK grinned, giving her a playful shove.
Paige smirked, bumping her back. “You know I had to put on a show for y’all.”
Ice threw an arm around her shoulder. “Let’s be real—you didn’t start playing for real until you saw Azzi.”
Paige rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t even argue.
Finally, she turned to Azzi.
Azzi stood, her smile soft and her eyes warm as Paige immediately pulled her into a tight hug resting her head on Azzi shoulder. Paige held on for a second longer than necessary, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume, her heart settling in a way it hadn’t all night.
When she finally pulled back, she let her eyes sweep over Azzi, her gaze dragging over the cowboy hat, the denim skirt, and—most importantly—her jersey over Azzi’s frame.
“You look good,” Paige mumbled, voice just low enough for only Azzi to hear.
Azzi’s lips curled into a smirk, her eyes flickering with something.
“I know.”
Paige let her eyes drag over Azzi, taking in every little detail. She licked her lips without thinking, fingers twitching slightly at her sides.
Azzi, catching the look immediately, gave her a warning glance. “Stop,” she mumbled, tilting her head slightly. “We’re in public, and there’s cameras everywhere.”
Paige barely blinked. “I don’t care,” she muttered, her voice a little low as she reached down and tugged discreetly at the hem of Azzi’s skirt. “When’d you get this?”
Azzi laughed, shaking her head. “Yesterday.”
Before Paige could respond, Lou appeared, sliding into the conversation with a huge grin.
“Azzi, you made it!” Lou beamed, pulling Azzi into a hug.
Paige took the opportunity to really look at her again, her gaze tracing over Azzi’s outfit, the way the jersey fit her just right, the way her legs looked in that skirt, the way she still had that damn smirk on her face.
Azzi felt her staring.
And she definitely wasn’t imagining the way Paige’s fingers brushed the back of her thigh before she pulled her hand away.
For a second Paige spent some time with her family, hugging her mom tightly, dapping up her dad, and joking around with her brothers and sister. The excitement from her first W game in Dallas was still buzzing around them, but before she could fully settle in, one of the staff members called her over telling her they wanted her for a postgame interview.
Before heading back, she found Azzi again, stepping up close as she spoke. “I’ll have Lou bring you the keys in a second.”
Azzi just nodded, her eyes still holding that same glint from earlier.
But before Paige could walk away, a photographer approached them, camera in hand, gesturing toward them for a picture.
Paige didn’t hesitate. She wrapped an arm around Azzi’s waist, pulling her in close, and Azzi melted into her, tilting her head against Paige’s shoulder. Her hand rested lightly on Paige’s stomach, fingers grazing the fabric of her jersey, and Paige swore she could feel the warmth of her touch through it.
The camera flashed.
Azzi smirked.
Then, they adjusted, shifting slightly as the photographer snapped more pictures.
In one, Paige held Azzi a little tighter, her fingers pressing into the soft denim of Azzi’s skirt. In another, Azzi turned slightly, her hand now resting a little firmer against Paige’s stomach.
Without even thinking about it, they turned toward each other.
For a moment, it was just them.
Azzi smiled first—it was small, soft, just for Paige—and Paige couldn’t help but mirror it, her grip tightening slightly on Azzi’s waist.
Click.
Paige barely heard the sound of the camera going off, but she knew that shit was about to be everywhere.
…
After showering and changing in the locker room Paige felt the exhaustion in her body, but the second she stepped into the garage and saw her car, that tiredness melted away.
She couldn’t fully see Azzi through the tint, but she knew she was in there.
A slow smile spread across Paige’s face as she walked past the driver’s side, stopping at the passenger door instead. She opened it, reaching inside and gently pulling Azzi out.
Azzi blinked at her, momentarily confused, adjusting her balance as she placed her cowboy hat on the seat behind her. "What are you doing?"
Paige just smiled, shutting the door before settling her hands on Azzi’s waist. Her gaze dragged over Azzi’s face, then down to her outfit—the denim skirt showing off just enough to make Paige’s pulse stutter.
“You look so good, baby,” Paige mumbled.
Azzi gave a small smile as she wrapped her arms around Paige’s neck. She hummed, tilting her head slightly.
“I know you already told me P.”
Paige chuckled under her breath, shaking her head. The moment felt thick now—like all the tension from the night had finally caught up to them.
She leaned in, her lips hovering just above Azzi’s, “The correct response is thank you baby.”
Azzi rolled her eyes and exhaled softly, her back pressing against the car as she followed Paige’s lead, tilting her chin up just enough to close the space between them.
The kiss was deep and desperate—the kind that made up for lost time. They hadn’t seen each other in over a week, and while that might not have been long for most people, for them, it felt like forever.
Paige’s tongue slid into Azzi’s mouth, her grip tightening as her hands moved under Azzi’s skirt, squeezing her ass.
Azzi let out a small sound at the feeling, a mix between a gasp and a pleased hum, pulling Paige closer as their bodies pressed together against the car.
They stayed tangled in each other for a while enjoying the feeling of the others lips after so long, But then Paige started trailing kisses down Azzi’s jaw, then lower, her lips brushing against the soft parts of her neck.
Azzi let out a breathy laugh, her hands coming up to Paige’s shoulders. “Alright, that’s enough ma’am.”
Paige mumbled against her skin, her voice muffled. “Come on, I miss you Az.”
Azzi smiled, tilting Paige’s chin up slightly so their eyes met. “I miss you too, baby, but we’re in public. And still in your place of work.”
Paige sighed dramatically, pulling back just enough to pout at her. “Fine.”
Azzi grinned before leaning in one last time, pressing a quick kiss to Paige’s lips, then turned toward the car. Paige exhaled, shaking her head fondly, before opening the passenger door for her.
As Azzi stepped in, Paige smiled, landing a playful smack on her butt. Azzi shot her a look over her shoulder, but the small playful smile on her lips betrayed her.
Paige shut the door, chuckling to herself as she made her way around to the driver’s side.
As Paige pulled out of the garage, steering them toward the afterparty, she finally got to ask the question that had been sitting in the back of her mind all night.
“How the hell did you even make it to the game?”
Azzi smiled, leaning back in her seat. “I moved my meeting up.”
Paige furrowed her brows, sparing a glance at Azzi before turning her attention back to the road. “To what time? It was already early as hell.”
Azzi shrugged slightly, like it was nothing. “Six.”
Paige’s head snapped toward her so fast she nearly forgot she was driving. “Six A.M.?”
Azzi hummed in confirmation, barely reacting.
“Baby, that’s crazy,” Paige said, shaking her head, still processing.
Azzi just shrugged again, scrolling on her phone.
Paige narrowed her eyes. “Did you close it?”
Azzi turned to her, giving her a look like she was almost offended by the question. “Of course.”
Paige grinned, reaching over and squeezing Azzi’s thigh. “That’s my girl.”
They kept talking as they drove, catching up even though they had talked every single day. Paige’s hand stayed resting on Azzi’s thigh, her fingers lazily tracing patterns over her skin as they talked.
Azzi didn’t mind. She let it stay there for most of the ride.
But then, at some point, Paige’s hand slid a little too high.
Azzi glanced at her, eyes narrowing. “Can you not?”
Paige didn’t even look at her, barely suppressing a smirk. “What?” she asked innocently, moving her pinky slightly just to prove a point.
Azzi scoffed. “You know what you’re doing.”
Paige smirked now, finally glancing at her. “I don’t know why you wore that skirt if you didn’t want me touching you.”
Azzi rolled her eyes. “I wore it for you.”
Paige grinned, turning her focus back to the road. “Exactly. So let me be.”
Azzi huffed, shaking her head, but she didn’t bother fighting it.
As they drove through the city, Paige glanced over at Azzi, who was casually scrolling through her phone.
“You know,” she started, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel, “if you would’ve told me you were coming, I probably would’ve played a lot better in the first few minutes of the game.”
Azzi grinned but didn’t look up. “And miss the chance to see your reaction when you noticed me on the jumbotron? Nah.”
Paige scoffed, shaking her head. “You’re rude.”
Azzi finally looked over at her, her smile softening. “You looked good out there, though baby I’m proud of you.”
Paige grinned, tilting her head. “Just good?”
Azzi sighed, playing along. “Fine. You looked great.”
“That’s more like it.” Paige reached over and squeezed Azzi’s thigh, then let her hand rest there again. “You staying with me for the whole month, right?”
Azzi nodded. “Yup. Figured I’d get tired of you after two weeks, but I’ll push through.”
Paige scoffed. “You love being around me.”
Azzi hummed. “You’re alright I guess.”
Paige gave her a look. “Bro please be for real.”
Azzi laughed, leaning back in her seat. “Okay, okay, yeah. I might love being around you all the time, just a little.”
Paige smirked. “That’s what I thought.”
They fell into a comfortable silence again, the only sound being the low hum of the car. After a moment, Paige gave Azzi’s thigh another squeeze before deciding to voice her thoughts.
“I want you to keep it on later,” she said, giving no context.
Azzi turned her head slowly, raising a brow. She didn’t need to ask what Paige meant—she knew.
“Who said you’re getting anything later?”
Paige shot her a quick look, deadpan. “Be for real Azzi.”
Azzi bit back a smile, letting the moment linger before finally sighing dramatically. “Whatever. I’ll think about it.”
Paige smirked as she pulled the car to a stop in front of the club. “Yeah, okay.”
As Paige handed her keys to the valet, she turned just in time to see Azzi stepping out of the car, holding down her skirt as she did so. Paige sighed, running a hand down her face.
��Nah,” she mumbled, eyes trailing down Azzi’s legs before flicking back up. “You’re not leaving my sight tonight.”
Azzi rolled her eyes but smiled, reaching for Paige’s hand and interlacing their fingers. “You’re so dramatic.”
Paige just shook her head. “I’m deadass.”
They walked into the venue, the bass from the music vibrating through the floor as they entered. The afterparty was already in full swing, players, friends, family and staff scattered across the club. Neon lights flickered over the bar, where bottles gleamed and loud laughter echoed over the music.
Before they could make it too far inside, a familiar voice rang out.
“P!”
Paige barely had time to react before Arike, already a few shots in, threw an arm around her shoulder. Her grin was as she pulled Paige in.
“We’re about to go crazy this year,” Arike yelled. “Tonight’s just the start rook.”
Paige laughed, nodding along. “You’re not wrong.”
Arike squeezed her shoulder before letting her go, and moving back toward the dance floor.
Paige turned toward Azzi, who just gave her an amused look. “She’s so different from what I expected.”
Paige laughed. “Bro just give her three more shots, and she’s gonna pull out a bible and make them turn off the music.”
Azzi chuckled as Paige nodded toward the bar. “C’mon, I see Lou, Ice, and KK.”
They made their way over, spotting them leaning against the counter, drinks in hand. Ice was mid-sip when she noticed them, setting her drink down with a smile.
“Look who finally decided to show up,” Ice teased, nudging KK. “And look at Paige bro.”
KK snorted, giving Azzi an exaggerated once-over. “I see why. Azzi, you tryna get someone in trouble tonight?”
Azzi rolled her eyes but smiled. “I literally just got here, and y’all are already on me?”
Lou laughed, sipping her drink. “You did walk in looking like that, though. You knew what you were doing.”
Paige hummed, wrapping an arm loosely around Azzi’s waist. “Exactly what I’ve been saying.”
Azzi just shook her head, leaning into Paige slightly. “Y’all are ridiculous.”
Lou raised her glass. “To another season and all of Paige’s sanity being tested.”
…
Paige and Azzi leaned against the bar, the bass of the music making the floor vibrate as they waited for another shot to accompany the drink they already had. The club was packed now. Paige had one arm draped loosely around Azzi’s waist, absentmindedly tracing her thumb over the fabric of her jersey as she barely listened to what Ice, KK, and Lou were saying.
Azzi took a slow sip from her glass, her lips wrapping around the straw before smirking at Paige. “You gonna keep staring at me, or you actually gonna drink yours?”
Paige huffed a laugh, taking a sip, eyes still on Azzi. “Hard not to when you’re wearing that.” Her hand brushed against the hem of Azzi’s short denim skirt, making Azzi arch an eyebrow at her.
“You’re horny,” Azzi murmured, leaning in just slightly so only Paige could hear.
Paige just grinned, shrugging. “I’ve been told.”
Their easy back-and-forth continued as they downed a couple of drinks, the warmth settling in and loosening them up. They weren’t being overly affectionate—just hanging out, laughing with their friends, letting the night settle around them. At one point, Lou challenged them to a ridiculous game of guessing random people’s professions just based on their outfits, and Paige and Azzi found themselves doubled over when KK confidently said some guy was a lawyer, only for him to turn around wearing a DJ staff badge.
Just as Paige was finishing her drink, she noticed Arike waving her over from a section across the club. With a smirk, she turned to Azzi, reaching up to flick the brim of her cowboy hat playfully.
“I’ll be right back, beautiful,” she murmured, her voice just low enough for Azzi to feel it more than hear it.
Azzi tilted her head. “Don’t take too long,” she said simply, sipping her drink again as Paige walked away.
A few minutes after Paige left Azzi was mid-sip of her drink when she felt someone slide up next to her at the bar. She barely had time to set her glass down before she heard a voice— one with a beach accent and distinctly unfamiliar.
“Hi, I’m Sevgi, but most people call me Sev. Or Gi.”
Azzi turned slightly, taking in the dark-haired woman beside her. Sevgi’s accent was thick, her posture confident as she leaned against the bar. Azzi, assuming she was just introducing herself as one of Paige’s new teammates, smiled politely and shook her hand.
“Azzi.”
Sevgi held her gaze, her lips forming into a smile. “You’re beautiful, Azzi.”
Azzi almost choked on her drink. She set it down quickly, grabbing a napkin to wipe her lips before forcing a tight smile. “Uh… thanks.”
Sevgi’s expression remained relaxed, like she hadn’t just casually caught Azzi off guard. “I’ve watched a few UConn games but I haven’t seen you around before. Did you move to Dallas?”
Azzi shook her head, sipping her drink again. “No, I don’t live here yet. I’m just visiting Paige for a while before going back to school.”
Sevgi’s gaze flickering toward where Paige was standing talking to Arike before settling back on Azzi. “Ah, so you’re here for Paige?” She hummed as if processing something. “Seems like a lot of people are, they love her already around here.”
Azzi simply hummed, confused by the comment. Suddenly wondering where the hell Ice and KK disappeared to.
Sevgi took another sip of her drink before smiling. “Paige Bueckers. One of the best to ever do it they say.” Her eyes flickered over Azzi’s face, her voice dropping just slightly. “I think she’s even luckier than I realized.”
Azzi’s brows lifted, her body tensing slightly as she finally clocked what was happening.
Before she could fully react, Sevgi leaned in just a fraction, lowering her voice like she was letting Azzi in on a secret. “I have a thing for shooters,” she said, her tone light but suggestive. “Especially ones with eyes like yours.”
Azzi, not really knowing how to navigate this, just says “Huh….”
Sevgi grinned, her fingers lightly drumming against the bar. “Mm. There’s something about precision, about the way a shooter locks in. So much focus, so much control…” Her voice dipped just slightly as she added, “It’s very attractive.”
Azzi exhaled through her nose, half amused by the attempt, half uncomfortable. She wasn’t sure if Sevgi just had a naturally flirtatious personality or if she genuinely had no idea that Azzi was very much taken.
Just as she opened her mouth to say something—anything to shift the conversation—she felt an all-too-familiar presence beside her.
Paige, who had returned from talking to Arike and was now standing between them with an unreadable expression.
Azzi barely had time to react to her presence before Paige’s hand was resting on the back of her neck.
“You’re a little close there, Gi, no?” Paige’s voice was light, but there was a slight edge beneath it that Azzi caught.
Sevgi turned her attention to Paige, offering a smooth smile. “I was just getting to know your—” she glanced at Azzi as if choosing her words carefully, “—your beautiful friend from UConn.”
Paige’s jaw tensed slightly, but she didn’t let it show, her fingers subtly tightening against Azzi’s neck. “Yeah? Well, my beautiful girlfriend doesn’t need any new friends tonight.”
Azzi bit the inside of her cheek, holding back a smirk.
Sevgi’s smile didn’t waver. “You know rook, in my culture, we don’t limit beautiful women to just one.”
Paige’s jaw tightened at that comment. “Look, Gi,” she said, her voice calm, “I really don’t know you that well yet, so I don’t know if you’re trying to be disrespectful or not, but I really hope that’s not the case.”
Sevgi held her gaze for a moment longer before raising her hands in mock surrender. “No disrespect. Just an observation is all.”
Paige didn’t blink. “Yeah? Well, here’s another one since we’re giving out observations—you’re standing too close to my girl.”
Sevgi exhaled, taking a small step back. “Noted.” She gave Azzi one last lingering look before saying, “Still… you’re stunning.”
Paige let out a sharp breath, her patience wearing thin.
Azzi, deciding to cut things off before Paige really lost her temper, gave Sevgi a polite but firm smile. “Appreciate it, but I’m good where I’m at. Really.”
Sevgi smiled but didn’t push further. “Fair enough.” She grabbed her drink and disappeared back into the crowd.
As soon as Sevgi was gone, Paige turned fully toward Azzi. Her jaw was still tight, but her eyes softened slightly as she took in Azzi’s amused expression.
“I leave you alone for two seconds,” Paige muttered, shaking her head.
Azzi laughed, looping her arms around Paige’s neck and pulling her in closer. “Not my fault I look good.”
Paige huffed, her fingers tugging at the hem of Azzi’s skirt. “It’s because of the skirt.”
Azzi let out another laugh, glancing down. “You can barely see my skirt—I’m sitting down.”
Paige hugged her tighter, her lips brushing against Azzi’s ear as she said, “Exactly. It’s too short.”
Azzi raised an eyebrow, smirking. “You weren’t saying that when you were grabbing my ass in the garage.”
Paige’s expression flickered for a moment before a smile spread across her lips. “Mmm… you make a good point.”
Before Azzi could respond, Paige pulled her up from her seat, and palmed her ass with both hands, squeezing firmly.
Azzi gasped, half-laughing. “Paige—”
“What?” Paige murmured, leaning in, voice dropping lower. “You were making a good point baby.”
Azzi exhaled, biting her lip as she shook her head. “You’re a perv.”
Paige rolled her eyes, completely unbothered. “No, I’m not. You’re my girl.”
Azzi huffed like she was annoyed, but the way she wrapped her arms fully around Paige’s head said otherwise. She pulled Paige in, pressing their lips together in a kiss. Paige responds immediately, squeezing her closer. The music and noise of the club faded into the background, the warmth of the moment making Azzi’s fingers tighten slightly in Paige’s hair.
Paige gave Azzi’s butt another squeeze, deepening the kiss, but just as she was about to take it a step further, Azzi mumbled against her lips, “I’m bored.”
Paige pulled back just enough to look at her. “Kissing me is boring now?”
Azzi rolled her eyes, fingers still playing with the hairs at the back of Paige’s neck. “No, us being here is boring.”
Paige smirked. “Oh yeah? What you wanna do then?”
Azzi tilted her head slightly, eyes flickering over Paige’s face as she tugged at the jersey she was wearing. “Go home,” she murmured. “Maybe show you how much I miss you… wear this for you like you want me to.”
Paige let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah come on, we’re leaving.”
The drive back to Paige’s apartment was quiet, the soft hum of music playing in the background as the Dallas city lights blurred past them. Azzi’s hand rested lightly over Paige’s, which had been sitting comfortably on her thigh since they got in the car. Neither of them had spoken much.
Paige was focused on the road, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns against Azzi’s skin, but then she felt Azzi’s hand shifting, guiding Paige’s palm higher up her thigh. Paige’s grip instinctively tightened for a brief second before she shot her a look.
“Azzi,” she warned.
Azzi just hummed, acting innocent as she leaned over the center console, playing with the short hairs at the back of Paige’s neck. Paige swallowed hard, keeping her eyes locked on the road.
“You’re gonna make me crash,” Paige muttered, her jaw clenching slightly.
Azzi smirked, watching her with that look in her eyes. “Then keep your eyes on the road, baby.” Her fingers still tracing over Paige’s skin, her nails lightly scratching at the nape of her neck just to make her shiver.
Paige exhaled through her nose, trying to ignore the heat creeping up her spine, but then she felt Azzi shift closer, pressing a soft, fleeting kiss to the side of her neck.
“Azzi.” This time, her voice was rougher.
“Hmm?” Azzi responded innocently, her lips grazing against her again.
Paige let out a slow breath through her nose, gripping the wheel a little tighter as she cast a quick glance at Azzi. A smirk was playing on her lips like she knew exactly what she was doing.
“What you doing, baby?” Paige asked, her voice lower now.
Azzi’s lips brushed against her jaw again, just barely. “I just miss you,” she murmured, her fingers still tracing soft patterns at the back of Paige’s neck.
Paige exhaled sharply but didn’t stop her. “You’re making it hard to drive, pretty girl.”
Azzi leaned back slightly, but not enough to fully retreat, still draped over the center console. “You’ve done more while you were driving before.”
Paige shot her another side glance, smirking now. “I remember. You couldn’t wait until we got home.”
Azzi hummed, tilting her head slightly. “Exactly. I had on jeans if I remember correctly.”
Paige swallowed, her jaw tightening as the memory rushed back to her. She nodded, gripping the wheel a little harder.
Azzi’s gaze flickered down to Paige’s hands before she spoke again, her voice quieter, almost too casual for what she was implying. “I have on a skirt now.”
Paige’s knuckles went white on the wheel.
Paige glanced at her, eyes flickering over her face before settling on her lips for just a second too long. “You drunk or something, baby?” she asked.
Azzi met her gaze. “No,” she said simply. “I told you, I just miss you.” She shifted slightly, her nails tracing absentmindedly over the back of Paige’s hand. “You think I dressed like this for fun?”
Paige swallowed, her throat suddenly feeling dry. Without thinking, she moved her hand up, her pinky brushing lightly against Azzi’s inner thigh.
Azzi let out the softest sigh, barely audible over the low hum of the music. She didn’t say anything, just leaned back and watched her.
Paige exhaled, shaking her head as a slow smirk spread across her lips. “You really tryna kill me tonight, huh?”
Azzi smiled, leaning her head back against the seat. “No. Not yet.”
Paige’s pinky traced slow, deliberate circles against Azzi’s underwear. She kept her eyes on the road, but the slight smile on her lips told Azzi she was enjoying this.
Azzi exhaled softly, shifting just a little, her breath hitching when Paige’s fingers pressed firmer for half a second before retreating, barely there.
Paige hummed. “You were saying?” she mused.
Azzi bit her lip, eyes dark as she glanced over at Paige. “I said… not yet.” Her voice was breathier now, betraying the effect Paige’s teasing was having on her.
Paige chuckled under her breath, her fingers tracing lazily along Azzi’s center, never quite moving where Azzi wanted but never pulling away either. Every so often, her knuckles would graze a little firmer, making Azzi’s legs tense slightly before relaxing again.
Azzi let out another quiet sigh, her fingers curling against the seat. “You’re playing too much,” she said, her voice laced with some frustration.
Paige turned her head just enough to meet her gaze, her smile growing. “Oh, now I’m the one playing?” She pressed her fingers a little more firmly, dragging them slowly along, savoring the way Azzi’s breath hitched again.
Azzi inhaled sharply, her whole body tensing in anticipation the moment Paige’s hand slipped beneath her underwear. Her eyes fluttered shut, a soft breath escaping her lips as she waited.
But then, suddenly, the warmth of Paige’s touch was gone completely.
Azzi’s eyes snapped open just in time to catch Paige lifting her thumb to her mouth, sucking on it.
Paige’s expression was casual, her eyes locked on the road, one hand steady on the wheel.
Azzi let out a sharp exhale, half frustration, half disbelief. “You’re such an asshole.”
Paige hummed around her thumb before popping it out with a smirk. “Oh, now I’m an asshole?” She flicked her gaze over to Azzi, blue eyes sparkling. “But I thought you missed me?”
Azzi clenched her jaw, narrowing her eyes as she shifted in her seat. “I do.” Her voice was firm, but there was a slight pout forming on her lips.
Paige chuckled under her breath, shaking her head. “Then be patient, baby.” Her hand returned to Azzi’s thigh, but this time, it was just resting there.
Azzi huffed, crossing her arms. “You’re mean.”
Paige fired back instantly, her smile only growing. “And you’re a brat.”
Azzi scoffed, shifting in her seat again so she was leaning away from Paige. “Maybe if you weren’t being so mean, I wouldn’t have to be.”
Paige let out a chuckle, squeezing Azzi’s thigh before pulling back again, just to be a tease. “Oh, is that how it works? So it’s my fault?”
Azzi turned her head to look at her. “Obviously.”
Paige bit back a grin, keeping her eyes on the road. “Sounds like someone needs to learn the word patience.”
Azzi let out a scoff. “I think someone needs to stop talking and drive faster.”
Paige hummed in amusement. “Oh, now you want me to focus on driving?” She shot Azzi a quick glance, lifting a brow. “Wasn’t that an issue, like, five minutes ago?”
Azzi exhaled through her nose, shaking her head. “That was different.”
Paige laughed softly, reaching over to tug at the hem of Azzi’s jersey, pulling her slightly closer. “Mm. Convenient.”
Azzi let out a quiet groan, flopping back in her seat. “I hate you.”
Paige just chuckled again, squeezing Azzi’s thigh one last time before finally giving in and stepping on the gas just a little harder.
As Paige pulled into the garage, she barely had the car in park before Azzi was already unbuckling her seatbelt and pushing the door open.
Paige watched in amusement as Azzi slipped out, her long legs moving toward the house without so much as a glance back. Paige let out a chuckle, shaking her head as she turned off the engine.
By the time she made it inside, Azzi was by the entryway, bent down as she worked on taking off her cowboy boots. Paige let her eyes roam, taking in the way Azzi’s skirt rode up completely with the position, exposing more of her toned legs. Smirking, Paige stepped up behind her, hands easily finding her hips before she rolled her hips forward, playfully pressing into her.
“Don’t be like that, baby,” Paige murmured.
Azzi sucked in a sharp breath before immediately shoving her off, making Paige stumble back a step. She stood up, kicking off her boots without sparing Paige a glance before walking deeper into the house.
Paige chuckled, licking her lips as she followed. “Oh, so now you’re ignoring me?”
Azzi still didn’t say anything.
Paige smirked, enjoying this way too much. “Why you being like that, baby? I thought you missed me?”
Azzi exhaled, her hands clenching briefly at her sides, but she kept moving.
Paige trailed behind her grinning. “Mmm. What happened to all that talk in the car?”
Just as she reached the bedroom door, Azzi stopped. She turned her head slightly, finally meeting Paige’s gaze.
Paige smirked at that, stepping into the bedroom with an easy confidence. Azzi followed closely behind, her eyes immediately catching on something new.
“When’d you get that?” Azzi asked, nodding toward the large mirror now positioned perfectly in the room.
Paige’s smile grew, as she leaned casually against the dresser. “Got here yesterday.”
Azzi hummed, her gaze flicking between the mirror and the bed, taking in the angle, mentally mapping it out. Her lips curved slightly. “I like it.”
Paige pushed off the dresser, stepping closer until she was right in front of Azzi, tilting her chin up.
“That’s why I got it.”
Azzi rolled her eyes and tried to walk away again, but Paige was quicker, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back with little effort.
"Stop being a brat.”
Azzi just looked at her, lips pressed together, refusing to respond. Paige wasn’t fazed. Instead, she tugged her closer by the waist, dipping her head to press a kiss to Azzi’s neck.
"Let me get rid of that attitude for you," Paige whispered, her lips dragging against Azzi’s skin.
For a moment, Azzi’s resolve wavered. Her breath caught, and she instinctively tilted her head to the side, granting Paige more access. But just as quickly, she remembered why she was mad. With a sharp exhale, she planted her hands on Paige’s shoulders and shoved her back—not hard enough to truly push her away, but enough to make a point.
Paige only laughed, her tongue brushing over her bottom lip as she grinned. "Oh, you’re really mad, huh?"
“Yes you called me desperate.”
Paige’s jaw dropped. “Bro, no I didn’t.”
Azzi’s glare was instant. “Don’t ‘bro’ me.”
Paige sighed, pulling Azzi closer again, her hands resting firmly on her waist. “Baby, I did not call you desperate.”
Azzi didn’t budge. “You basically did.”
Paige huffed out a small laugh, shaking her head before dipping down to press slow, open-mouthed kisses against Azzi’s neck. “I didn’t,” she muttered between kisses. “But even if I did, it doesn’t matter.” Her lips traveled lower. “You know I love it when you’re like that for me.”
Azzi’s breath hitched, her body betraying her as her head tilted again, granting Paige more access. But she didn’t fully give in—her hands remained stubbornly at her sides, her posture still carrying the weight of her petty grudge.
Paige smirked against her skin, nipping just lightly before pulling back. “What I gotta do to make it up to you, baby?”
Azzi’s lips finally formed a smile at that, looking at her. “I wanna go back to the car.”
Paige raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. “We have a whole house, baby. Why you wanna go to the car?”
Azzi shrugged, but there was a glint in her eyes. “Because we haven’t fucked in your new car yet.” She let that sink in before adding casually, “And it’s bigger than your Jeep.”
Paige scoffed, about to respond when Azzi leaned in close, her breath warm against her ear.
“And,” Azzi murmured, right before biting down softly on Paige’s earlobe, “you can’t run from me in the car.”
Paige swallowed hard, her eyes fluttering closed for a brief second as she licked her lips. She nodded—maybe a little too eagerly—before mumbling, “Okay… yeah, we can go to the car. Whatever you want.”
Azzi beamed at that, turning on her heel and heading toward the closet immediately. Paige watched her, smirking when she saw the first thing Azzi grabbed. But then her smirk dropped completely when she saw the second.
Her brow furrowed. “What’s that for?”
Azzi barely glanced at her as she responded, “You know what it’s for.”
Paige’s stomach tightened as she watched Azzi casually walk out of the bedroom, clearly expecting her to follow. She hesitated for a second before trailing behind her, saying, “I almost died last time we tried that.”
Azzi threw a smile over her shoulder. “Well, you shouldn’t have called me desperate.”
Paige groaned, dragging a hand down her face. “She’s about to kill me,” she mumbled under her breath, shaking her head as she followed Azzi out of the room, through the house, and straight into the garage.
Paige got in the car first pushing both front seats forward to create more space. She moved with ease, but there was still an underlying tension in her movements—anticipation low in her stomach as she adjusted the seats. Once she was satisfied, she leaned back, expecting Azzi to climb onto her lap like she always did.
But instead, Azzi leaned forward, connecting her phone to the car’s Bluetooth. Paige watched her, eyebrow raising slightly as Azzi scrolled through her playlists, carefully ensuring the engine wasn’t actually on before the speakers filled the car.
Paige exhaled through her nose, smirking as she rested her hands on her thighs. “You settin’ the mood or something?”
Azzi didn’t answer. She took her time, adjusting the volume, tilting her head as if she was testing how the music sounded in the space. Then, finally, she settled in the back seat, straddling Paige hips, her hands finding their place on Paige’s shoulders.
Paige’s smile grew as her hands settled on Azzi’s waist. “That a yes?” she teased.
Azzi smiled, leaning in so her lips just barely brushed Paige’s. “Stop talking.”
Paige nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. “Yes, ma’am.”
Azzi didn’t give her a chance to add anything else before she closed the distance, her lips molding against Paige’s in a kiss that she led with confidence. Her tongue slipped past Paige’s lips, exploring her mouth like she owned it, and Paige let her—let her take, let her have, let her do whatever she wanted.
Paige’s hands found Azzi’s butt, pulling her in until there was nothing between them, her fingers flexing underneath Azzi’s skirt.
It was always a miracle how long they could stay like this—kissing and learning each other over and over again—until their lips were almost raw and they were both burning from the inside out.
Paige was completely under Azzi’s control, gripping her like she was afraid to let go, as Azzi’s hand wrapped securely around her neck. Every time Paige tried to shift, to gain a little more, Azzi only tightened her grip, keeping her where she wanted.
When Paige finally broke away from the kiss, her breathing was uneven and her lips were tingling. “Baby, please.”
Azzi looked down at her. “Please what?”
Paige groaned, her hands sliding up Azzi’s back in frustration. “I need something.”
Azzi hummed, tilting her head as if she was considering it . “Mm.” She leaned in, brushing her lips over Paige’s jawline before trailing down to her neck.
Azzi smiled, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of Paige’s neck, tugging just enough to make Paige suck in a breath. She moved up, her lips barely grazing the shell of Paige’s ear as she whispered, “I haven’t even done anything yet.”
Paige let out a shaky exhale, her fingers flexing against Azzi’s thighs before she murmured, “That’s the problem, baby.”
She tried to slide her hands up, reaching for the hem of Azzi’s skirt, but before she could make contact, Azzi caught her wrists, intertwining their fingers as she pinned them down. “I didn’t say you could do that.”
Paige sighed, tightening her jaw as she let her head fall back against the seat in surrender. She was burning with impatience, but she knew better than to fight Azzi on this—not when she was playing her little game.
Azzi took full advantage of the position, tilting her head to press slow, open-mouthed kisses down the side of Paige’s throat, occasionally nipping at her skin just to feel the way Paige shuddered beneath her. Paige sighed heavily, groaning here and there, murmuring pleas in between sharp intakes of breath. But every time she tried to coax Azzi into more, Azzi only chuckled against her skin, whispering smug remarks in return.
“You getting desperate, baby?”
Paige groaned. “Azzi—”
Azzi licked a long trail up her neck. “Mmm. You’re cute when you beg P.”
Paige scoffed. “I’m not begging.”
Azzi pulled back slightly, tilting her head. Then she smirked. “You don’t want me?”
Paige swallowed hard, her hands twitching where Azzi still had them pinned. “Course I do.”
Azzi hummed in satisfaction before whispering, “Then beg for it.” She bit down a little harsher this time, drawing a sharp inhale from Paige before soothing the spot with her tongue.
Paige held firm, refusing to give in so easily. She just let Azzi work her way along her neck knowing exactly how to unravel her. But Azzi knew this little front of Paige’s all too well. Knew the stubbornness. Knew exactly how to break it.
So she shifted, pressing her hips down just a little more, her breath fanning against Paige’s ear as she let out the softest moan.
Just like that, Paige cracked. “Fuck—Az, please, baby.”
Azzi smiled. “Please what, Paige?”
Paige groaned, her voice rough. “Lemme get you right.”
Azzi chuckled at that, pulling back just enough to meet Paige’s gaze. “Oh? Is that what’s gonna happen?”
Paige only hummed in response, her hands finally breaking free to palm at Azzi’s butt, pulling her in closer.
Azzi just smiled down at Paige as her fingers worked at the buckle of Paige’s belt, taking her time, teasing her without any words. Paige just watched her, eyes hooded, a small grin tugging at her lips.
Azzi caught the expression and arched her eyebrow. “What are you smiling at?”
Paige exhaled a soft chuckle, tilting her head back slightly against the seat. “You look good.”
Azzi hummed at that, feigning nonchalance, but the way her lips curled told a different story. “Yeah?”
Paige’s eyes flicked between Azzi’s hands and her face, her grin widening just a little. “Yeah. Real good.”
Azzi shook her head, amused, but didn’t argue.
Once Paige’s belt was undone, Azzi slipped off her lap simply saying, “Take off your clothes,” as she began to unzip her own skirt.
Paige immediately obliges, tugging at her clothes, ripping them off as if they were on fire. Once they were off, she reaches for the harness silently praying Azzi doesn’t remember what else she grabbed.
Azzi chuckles at this, reaching over Paige to grab the small vibrator she had sitting there. She looks at Paige expectantly, not saying anything as she pushes it toward her.
Paige sighs as she takes it from Azzi’s hand and slides the vibrator into the slits of the harness, turning it on before she pulls the harness against herself, taking a sharp breath immediately at the feeling.
Once Paige was situated Azzi climbed back onto her lap, settling on her thighs first as she gathered her long braids, moving them to one side. Paige watched her, eyes hazy, the desire in her eyes unmistakable.
“Nah,” Paige murmured, voice rough. “You need to get on it now.”
Azzi chuckled softly, dragging the moment out just a little longer before she lifts her hips up and eases herself on top of Paige slowly, letting out a quiet sigh as she did.
Paige’s reaction was instant. Her head fell back against the seat, a deep groan escaping her lips. “Fuck baby,” she breathed, arms lifting to rest on the back of the headrests, fingers flexing as she tried to keep herself from reaching for Azzi knowing she wouldn’t last long if she did.
Azzi kept her eyes locked on Paige as she rolled her hips moving like she was putting on a performance just for her. A teasing smile on her lips as she watched Paige try not to unravel beneath her.
Paige’s head was still thrown back against the seat, arms stretched over the headrest like she was watching a show—but the longer Azzi moved, the harder it became for her to keep up the act. Her jaw tightened, eyes fluttering closed as she swallowed hard.
Azzi smirked at that. She leaned forward, grabbing Paige’s arms from the headrest and guiding them around her waist, forcing Paige to hold her. As soon as Paige’s hands found their place on Azzi’s hips, Azzi tangled her fingers into Paige’s hair, tugging gently as she whispered near her ear, “You’re supposed to be watching, baby.”
A low moan escaped Paige’s lips. “I can’t, baby.”
Azzi hummed in amusement, her movements never faltering as her own breath got a little uneven. “Why not?”
Paige sucked in a breath, struggling for words. “Because…”
Azzi chuckled, her breath warm against Paige’s ear. “That’s not a full sentence,” she teased, letting a soft gasp slip as she pressed herself closer.
Paige groaned, tightening her grip on Azzi’s waist as she felt the deliberate push against her. Azzi pulled back slightly, her fingers grazing the hem of Paige’s jersey she had on, lifting it just enough to make Paige’s breath hitch. The slow, torturous pace was getting to her.
Paige was never one to let Azzi have all the control. Wanting to turn the tide in her favor a little, she lifted her hips into her, just enough to catch Azzi off guard. Azzi let out a sharp moan, her eyes fluttering closed as the movement sent a jolt through her.
Mmm, what happened, baby?” Paige purred, her voice dripping with amusement as she tilted her head, watching Azzi’s every move. Her hands slid down to Azzi’s ass, fingers tightening as she pulled her even closer, grinding against her slowly. “Getting a little lost, huh?”
Azzi’s breath hitched, her hands gripping Paige’s arms for leverage. “Probably you more than me.”
Paige’s grin widened as she felt Azzi’s breath stutter, the slight hesitation before she recovered. “Mmm, I don’t think so baby,” Paige whispered as she lifted Azzi’s hips completely before pushing them back down.
Azzi’s jaw tightened, refusing to let Paige see just how much she was getting to her. Instead, she retaliated, rolling her hips, pressing down against Paige in a way that forced a sharp inhale from her lips.
The smirks on both of their faces never fell as they pushed and pulled, challenging each other for dominance. Paige’s fingers dug into Azzi’s hips as she tried to hold her still, but Azzi countered by shifting forward, her hands sliding up Paige’s arms before pressing into her shoulders for leverage.
Neither wanted to give in, their bodies moving in sync as they played their little game—one teasing, the other taunting, both determined to win. Little sounds slipped from their lips, unintentional reactions to the tension between them, to the way their control over the situation teetered with every movement.
Azzi leaned in, her lips hovering over Paige’s, their heavy breaths mingling. “You sure you’re winning this one, baby?” she taunted, her voice just barely above a whisper.
Paige swallowed, as she smirked. “You’re not.”
Azzi, not liking that, rolled her hips down again, watching as Paige’s head fell back against the seat, her fingers tightening around Azzi’s waist. Paige sucked in a breath through gritted teeth, trying to hold on to her composure, but Azzi caught the way her body twitched under her.
Paige recovered quickly, exhaling sharply as she dragged her hands up Azzi’s back.
She flipped their positions pressing Azzi back against the seat, her hands pinning Azzi’s wrists on either side of her head. Azzi’s eyes widened in surprise before she let out a soft chuckle, biting her lip as she looked up at Paige before pulling her in for a kiss.
Paige groaned against Azzi’s lips, her fingers gripping at the jersey, bunching the fabric in her fists as she deepened the kiss. Azzi hummed into her mouth, pulling Paige closer, her hands sliding up Paige’s back before tangling in her hair. The kiss was messy, all tongue neither of them holding back as they pushed and pulled at each other, fighting for control even now.
Paige nipped at Azzi’s bottom lip, pulling away just enough to murmur, “You look so fucking good in this, baby.” Her voice was thick, her eyes heavy as she tugged at the jersey again.
Azzi smirked against her lips, tilting her head slightly. “Yeah? You like it?” she teased, running her hands down Paige’s back before gripping her waist, and flipping their positions back. Paige barely had time to react before she found herself against the seat again, Azzi now on top, straddling her once smirk again.
Paige's grip tightened instantly, her fingers digging into Azzi’s skin as her head fell back against the seat. “Fuck, I can’t, baby,” she groaned, her voice strained, eyes squeezed shut as she tried to hold on. “I’m close.”
Azzi, still in full control, shook her head. “No,” she murmured. “Not yet.”
Paige let out a desperate sound, her hands gripping harder as her breath came out in uneven pants. “I—I can’t control it, mama,” she admitted, her voice breaking slightly as she fought against the overwhelming feeling.
Azzi hummed in response, bringing Paige’s hands up to place them firmly on her chest under the jersey. “Yes, you can,” she whispered, pressing her forehead against Paige’s, their breaths mingling. Paige whimpered, eyes fluttering open just enough to meet Azzi’s gaze.
Azzi smirked, tilting her head as she kept her rhythm steady, teasing, pushing, and pulling Paige right to the edge but never letting her tip over. “I want you to hold it for me,” she mumbled against Paige’s lips, her fingers sliding into Paige’s hair.
Paige's jaw clenched as she let out a shaky breath, her entire body tense beneath Azzi. Her hands trembled slightly as she squeezed Azzi’s hips, desperately trying to focus, to obey, even though every fiber of her being wanted to let go. “Fuck I can’t,” she groaned, voice hoarse. “You’re killing me, baby.”
Azzi chuckled, pressing a kiss to Paige’s jaw. “No, I’m making you feel good.”
Paige’s grip faltered as she instinctively moved her hands away from Azzi’s waist, gripping the leather seats beside her in a desperate attempt to ground herself. But Azzi wasn’t having it. She grabbed Paige’s hands, guiding them right back to her hips.
Paige let out a shaky breath, her body tensing beneath Azzi’s as she struggled to maintain even a sliver of control. But Azzi knew exactly what she was doing—exactly how to unravel her.
Pressing soft, lingering kisses along Paige’s neck, Azzi hummed against her skin. “Why do you keep moving your hands, baby?” she whispered, her voice low, teasing.
Paige swallowed hard, her fingers twitching against Azzi’s waist. “I—I don’t know,” she mumbled, her voice barely audible.
Azzi smirked, kissing just below Paige’s ear. “Mmm. You don’t know?” she murmured, trailing her lips lower as her fingers traced slow circles against Paige’s wrist. “You always get like this when I take my time.”
Paige let out a frustrated groan, her fingers gripping Azzi’s hips even tighter. “Az..Fuck—Az please,” she breathed, her head falling back.
Azzi chuckled, running her fingers through Paige’s hair before gently tugging. “Did you like my outfit today?” she asked.
Paige let out a shuddering breath, her fingers flexing against Azzi’s waist. “What?”
Azzi kissed along her jaw, her teeth biting against the sensitive skin. “I saw you looking all night,” she continued, her tone light. “You think I wore it just because?”
Paige squeezed her eyes shut, her body reacting before she could even think of a response. Azzi was relentless—and completely in control.
“Tell me,” Azzi whispered, biting lightly at Paige’s ear. “Did you like it baby?”
Paige’s breath hitched, her hands gripping Azzi’s waist harder as she struggled beneath her, the tension in her stomach pulling with every word. “You know I did,” she admitted, her voice nearly breaking.
Azzi hummed in satisfaction, kissing down Paige’s neck again. “Good.”
Paige’s entire body was taut beneath Azzi, every muscle locked as she tried—desperately—to hold on. But Azzi kept dragging out every second.
“I’m close baby,” Azzi whispered, her voice strained, her hips still moving in perfect rhythm.
Paige groaned, her grip on Azzi’s waist bruising as she fought to keep herself together, her breathing ragged. “Baby, please,” she gasped, eyes fluttering shut, her resolve hanging by a thread.
Azzi leaned in, capturing Paige’s lips in a kiss that stole the last of her restraint. It was deep and possessive, sending a sharp, overwhelming heat rushing through Paige’s body.
That was all it took. Paige tensed beneath her, a strangled moan leaving her lips as she completely unraveled, her hands gripping Azzi like she was the only thing keeping her tethered to reality as her body started to shake.
But Azzi didn’t stop.
Even as Paige trembled beneath her, trying to catch her breath, trying to get Azzi to slow down, she kept moving—dragging her lips along Paige’s jaw, whimpering softly in her ear as she chased her own release.
Paige whined, her hands sliding from Azzi’s waist to her thighs in an attempt to stop her movements . Saying desperately, “Az, baby it’s too much. I can’t—”
Paige barely had time to finish her sentence before Azzi’s lips were on hers again, swallowing every whimper and shaky breath. Azzi kissed her deep, desperate, as if she was chasing something only Paige could give her.
Within seconds, Azzi’s body tensed on top of Paige, her grip tightening in Paige’s hair as she gasped into the kiss. Paige felt it—the way Azzi’s body shuddered, the way her fingers curled into her scalp, the way she bit down on Paige’s bottom lip to stifle the sound that threatened to escape.
Paige groaned into the kiss, overwhelmed by how good Azzi felt against her, by the way Azzi clung to her like she never wanted to let go. She held her close, letting her ride it out despite the tension rapidly growing in her stomach again as she pressed soothing kisses against her jaw as Azzi's breathing came in soft, uneven pants.
“Damn, baby,” Paige murmured, her voice rough, her hands still gripping Azzi’s waist like she needed something to ground herself.
Azzi let out a breathy chuckle, her forehead resting against Paige’s as she tried to collect herself. “Told you I wasn’t desperate,” she whispered, a smirk pulling at her lips despite how dazed she looked.
Not being able to take anymore Paige pushed Azzi off of her as she struggled to pull the vibrator off of her. Azzi chuckled as she watched Paige struggle, her chest still rising and falling unevenly. She leaned back against the seat, completely unbothered, while Paige ran a hand down her face, trying to collect herself.
But Paige wasn’t having it. With a huffed breath, she reached for the door handle, muttering, “We’re going upstairs.”
Azzi smirked, tilting her head as she reached for her skirt thrown on the seat. “Yeah?” she teased, raising an eyebrow.
Paige shot her a look, jaw tight, eyes still clouded. “Yeah,” she confirmed. “Now.”
Azzi hummed, pushing the car door open as she stepped out, stretching her arms lazily as if she wasn’t still feeling everything that just happened. As Paige moved to follow, Azzi turned back, biting her lip before murmuring, “I’ll be by the mirror baby.”
Paige turned off the car, taking a deep breath to steady herself before stepping out.
Azzi was already heading inside, her skirt discarded on the floor, leaving her still in nothing but that damn jersey that barely covered anything as she made her way upstairs. She didn’t even look back—just walked with an effortless sway that had Paige gripping the door frame for a second longer than necessary.
Paige smirked, licking her lips as she shut the door behind her. “I’m about to fuck her up,” she muttered to herself, rolling her shoulders back in confidence.
She followed Azzi up the stairs, her cocky smirk only growing as she shut the bedroom door.
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1moreff-creator ¡ 11 hours ago
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Fool's Table MV - Analysis
I absolutely adore this MV so it's getting an immediate analysis post. I cannot fucking believe what was in it. After playing coy with Mai for so long, we get an entire MV about her and Teruko?!?! The Terumai stocks are through the roof and my adoration is immeasurable. Let's go!!!
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I hope I'm able to pick up on at least most of the most important details, I am doing this a bit off the cuff lol. As always, an important disclaimer is that the following is just my interpretation, I could be wrong about some things, and others may have multiple valid interpretations, I’m not claiming that my way of seeing the MV is the only “right” one, yadda yadda, you know this by now.
First, the description:
Together, alone, until the curtains close, I want to dance on the stage with you.
Pretty straightforward. The entire MV is framed on a stage, there's curtains, Mai and Teruko even dance. Just reinforcing the togetherness of Mai and Teruko (and don’t worry, we’ll get to that).
But, wait. Not everyone knows who Mai is, or what we already knew of her relationship with Teruko. That’s understandable, she’s had literally 9 seconds of screen time in the main series, and while it’s widely speculated she’s Unnamed Classmate, that’s not immediately obvious.
If you don’t know anything about her, I'll recommend you read up on the relevant sections of my secrets masterpost, since all you really need is her profile, Mai quotes and maybe her LGI numeral to understand this post. Or, if you're down for a longer read, my only somewhat outdated Mai post.
Next, we have to ask, what is Fool's Table actually about? I find it helps to talk about the song's overall meaning before diving into any specific lines, so we can better understand them in context.
Fool's Table is a song primarily about societal rules and expectations, and what it means to live within them. You'll see plenty of references to manners, people wearing masks, etc. The song also dwells on the concept that suffering is an inherent part of being human, and how to deal with this fact. The titular Fool's Table refers to life itself; it's framed both as a table, where society would claim manners and cleanliness are important, and described as a stage in various occasions, somewhere to dance and dirty and act on. You'll see what I mean when we get to line by line analysis, which this should be enough to get us started on, I think!
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We open on a shot of a table, filled with plenty of different foods. Given this is the "table of life", you can easily interpret this as a representation of the large amount of experiences which life can offer. Before Teruko and Mai appear, the following lyrics play:
I'll deliver the final blow Already, that kid has a pitiful look on their face Everything everywhere is in flames Savages acting "sensitive"
"Everything everywhere is in flames" is pretty straightforward, I think. A very Teruko-like sentiment. This sentiment is possibly why the table that represents life is shown upside down; being "upside down" is a way of showing that everything's wrong with it, and by extension the world. The "final blow" mentioned, in my opinion, is showing this "truth" to the "kid with a pitiful face." Basically, this kid, possibly a stand-in for all children, was already sad, and now you're telling them everything is in shambles because of "savages" who pretend to be more compassionate, "sensitive", than they truly are.
On its surface, this seems like exactly the kind of fatalism that Teruko has held throughout most of her life. However, the next lines actually recontextualize these statements in quite an important way.
Let's let the flowers bloom until the end From the cradle to the grave, there's not enough love! Impatient guests, in a hurry Everyone is wearing the same face
This reveals that the singer actually wants things to get better, "flowers to bloom until the end." Although discontent with the current state of the world, with all these people who have lost their identity ("wearing the same face") due to "being in a hurry" (which you can interpret in a few different ways but it's not all that important for us), they seem to believe there are ways to improve it. And this idea that the singer wishes to go against society and make a better world for themselves is immediately tied to Teruko in the next line.
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"You have no manners"
(The color's not actually in the MV just to be clear lol)
So first, sick animation. DRDTDev is awesome.
Anyways, there's the connection. For all that Teruko in current canon doesn't particularly believe her life can get better, she's certainly someone who goes against what is expected of her, here represented by dropping her cutlery and eating with her mouth. That's because Teruko doesn't think acting the way others act is going to help her, so she does her own thing. For example, pushing everyone away after the first trial, when others would want her to be more approachable. And with this idea, we reach Teruko's side of the table.
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Now, gather around the pure white table
"The pure white table" is an ironic statement. Remember, the table represents life, so pretending it's "pure white" would imply it's simple and orderly, which the singer obviously doesn't believe. To amplify the irony, the statement is contrasted by the image of Teruko spilling blood all over the "pure white table." The statement is pretty clear: Teruko is a challenge to the orderly nature of society. Not only because she's a disruptive person herself, but because her life of misfortune is in itself a challenge to the idea that everything's perfect and okay, the mask that the other people mentioned before in the song wear.
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Dance on spinning dishes, oh no
I actually quite like this line. The imagery of dishes is obviously connected to the table, which represents life, but spinning dishes in particular is a circus trick. Literally calling the world a circus, lmao. And asking you to dance on the dishes once again invites images of disorder and going against expectations.
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We've forgotten the right way to breathe
AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!!
Indeed, our favorite mystery girl (and birthday girl!), Mai Akasaki, makes an appearance. Unlike Teruko, Mai's eating with her cutlery, the way society would want her to. And this isn't exactly the first time we've seen Mai be contrasted with Teruko in this kind of vibe, remember?
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In the LGI MV, Teruko is described as "someone dearly unloved", while Mai is "someone dearly loved." If you know anything about Mai, you know the idea that she's perfect by all standards, including societal ones, isn't exactly new.
However, it's worth noting that this is only a first impression. We'll see Mai dancing on the table later, and based on that and the whole "document" situation with Xander and Unnamed Classmate in Visiting Graves, we know Mai's perfectly fine with going against the grain and doing what she believes is right, despite what society may think. That said, unlike Teruko, her existence isn't actually a threat to the status quo, as she's:
[Mai Quote - Min]: An average girl with nothing special at all about her.
It's worth noting, though, she seems to be eating flowers instead of food. This can be an early indication of her more rebellious leanings (you eat food, not flowers), but I think it could be meant to serve as further contrast with Teruko. Remember how the foods could represent life experiences? Well, "eating flowers" in that sense could mean that Mai actually had a pretty pleasant life, which is entirely possible as, again, ordinary girl. We know from Charles' Mai quote that she loves her family, from Whit's that she has many friends, and from Visiting Graves that she doesn't have money issues. She could certainly have other issues, mind you, but right now we don't have much indication of it.
Oh also the lyric. "We've forgotten the right way to breathe" is just another way the singer has of expressing dissatisfaction with how others act. It seems like it's explicitly ambiguous whether Mai is one of the people who've forgotten the right way to breathe, or one of the people who hold the singer's opinion, playing into the dichotomy of how Mai is first presented here (eating properly) and how she dances on the table later. By the way, the word "we" actually appears and disappears before Mai shows up on screen, while the camera is still in the middle, so take that as you will.
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It's all over once we drown What a luxurious dining table!
To quickly cover the lyrics, "drowning" I imagine is an allegory for death. Remember how the singer was upset others "lived in a hurry"? Yeah that. And the "luxurious" dining table thing is once again sarcastic.
You might have been wondering if I was ever going to talk about the things on the table, and don't worry, I am about to, I was just waiting for this wide shot. In general, I think most of what's on it is decorative, as I struggle to find any metaphors hidden in most of the food. The 12 colored biscuits next to Mai may be representative of the 12 members of the cast who are still alive in the killing game, maybe, but I don't think some of the colors match all that well (where does yellow go? why do we have so little blue?). Could also be the altDRDT cast + mascot, as pointed out by accirax. I don't think it's too important to know what this is, so I'll leave it open-ended.
The candles are a point of interest to me, though. The one on Mai's side is taller, but further from her, while the one on Teruko's side is smaller, but closer to her. There are like a billion ways you can interpret that, but I'm gonna choose to think of them as the two girls' "warmth", if that makes sense. Teruko is keeping it closer to herself, not as willing to open up, and the candle's shorter, so she has less warmth to give. Conversely, Mai is more willing to give Teruko her "warmth", as she's a really nice person from what we know, and that warmth is very intense judging from the length of the candle. Works well enough for me.
Finally, the most important part of the table, the cake. Obviously the centerpiece, it has both flowers and a red liquid, which I assume we're meant to see as blood. Notably, the side facing Teruko has the blood on top and the flowers below, possibly representing the way Teruko, at least in CH2, shows off her harsher side to the world while hiding more delicate and complicated feelings. Meanwhile, Mai's side has the blood being covered by the flowers, as if implying that Mai's kindness and love hide a fiercer soul underneath. Given the whole "she was probably staging some kind of revolution against Hope's Peak with Xander based on Visiting Graves" thing, I'd say that's a pretty accurate description of her character. Not to say she's intentionally hiding an evil side or anything, just that her real feelings are more complicated than what her seemingly perfect exterior suggest.
I haven't talked about the flowers because they're drawn the same as the flowers on Mai's tattoo, the Bonus Episode text boxes, and the "flowers of an unknown species" of the LGI MV. If you know the common interpretations, you'll know the two popular options for what they are is white camellias or white mai flowers. White camellias represent purity and honor like other white flowers, though they also specifically represent adoration and respect and are popular funeral flowers in Japan; while Mai flowers represent "prosperity, happiness in the new year, as well as resilience against storms and challenges", and the yellow variation of the flowers is connected to a legend about a girl who died protecting her father and village from a snake monster. Oh yeah Mai's probably dead by the time the killing game starts. 'Cuz, you know.
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See that arrow pointing to Mai's portrait when her numeral XI shows up alongside the word God?
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Yeah it's not very subtle. Mai's God, Mai's dead. There are other interpretations for this, mind you, but there's also other reasons to believe she's dead, so.
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Trash is trash, trash will act like trash Fools are fools, fools will act like fools That's the ironclad rule of society And there's no room to complain
You get the lyrics by now, right? I don't have to point out that this is once again talking about rigid societal rules and expectations? Good!
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Everyone everywhere is a nuisance The noisy crowd from earlier
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For now, let's dance in the palm of their hands
Yay more pretty animation! :D
Here, the singer once again insults society at large, but also says that "for now, let's dance in the palm of their hands." As in, they're not fully ready to complete go against society yet, and will engage with its expectations for a while longer.
However, we're actually left with a pretty important question: what the fuck is the apple? Apples are usually representative of the “forbidden fruit”, a temptation or desire which goes against what is accepted. So, perhaps Mai is doing as the lyric on screen says; by discarding the apple, she’s discarding that which is forbidden by society and “dancing in the palm of their hand.”
That’s certainly an understandable interpretation, but I don’t find it fully convincing, because it just… doesn’t fit Mai.
[Mai Quote - Xander]: She couldn’t stand to do nothing.
Not only because of the whole “rebelling against Hope’s Peak” thing, but because later in this very MV, she’s seen dancing on the table with Teruko, going against societal expectations.
Additionally, it doesn’t explain what giving the apple to the dog would represent. Dogs can’t go against human societal norms, as far as I know. So, that’s another point that would need to be explained in that interpretation.
But maybe the doggy can help us? Maybe we can get to another interpretation through it, because I feel like I’ve seen it somewhere before-
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Oh for the love of- Can this stop being the most plot relevant execution of all time???????? I don't want to think about it anymore!!!!!! /silly
Yes, the presence of a black dog/wolf is an explicit callback to Min’s execution. This would draw a connection between the apple and Min. On the surface, there are a few other ways we can connect them, as apples have a lot of associations with a bunch of things. In pop culture, apples are a common gift students give their teachers, and Min is a Student who wished to be a teacher. Allow me to ignore that this could also connect to the About Page Text and altDRDT Teacher real quick, since this connection is very minor and very cherry picked and only works because of the dog that doesn’t have ties to those two things.
However, it does bring even more issues with the interpretation I previously mentioned. Because, to put it bluntly, Min is the exact opposite of going against societal norms. Her recap foil is the Rebel, she’s under the orders of XF-Ture Tech, you know the drill.
Is it possible, then, that the meaning of the apple is the opposite as well? That eating the apple represents accepting society’s rules? It may seem weird with the associations to forbidden-ness I mentioned earlier, but if you go back and look at the Lone Apple scenes again, this idea gets a bit stronger.
The apple is full when the singer talks about the ironclad rules of society, as if implying that the apple is the ironclad rule. Then, right before we hear the singer talk about dancing in the palm of the hand of the “noisy crowd”, the apple is seen eaten, as if eating it is directly connected to dancing in their palm and following the rules. This would be consistent with the apple’s connection to Min, as Min herself is representative of following societal expectations as discussed earlier.
But then, why would it be “forbidden”? Well, I propose that we’ve been thinking about it wrong. The apple isn’t forbidden from society’s perspective, but from Teruko’s perspective.
Theory: An “Unfortunate” Point of View
The idea is that the MV doesn’t show things from a neutral perspective, but rather, from Teruko’s perspective, specifically. I’ll discuss why I believe this in more detail in a bit, but for now, I’ll ask you to bear with me.
This is the final piece of the puzzle for my take on the apple. Since the world has been unkind to Teruko, playing along with the rules of the world would make you an enemy in her eyes. She has been opposed to them from the very start of this MV, after all. Thus, the act of accepting the “ironclad rules”, eating the apple and “dancing in the noisy crowd’s palm”, would be seen by Teruko as eating a forbidden fruit. Therefore, the MV presents it as such, since I believe it’s shown from her perspective.
However, Mai discards the apple, which in this case is consistent with her dancing on the table later. She’s forgoing society’s rules and “throwing them to the wolves.”
Am I cooking? Am I burning down the kitchen? I have no idea! But that’s what makes it fun! This whole thing is obviously very up to interpretation, and there’s not really such a thing as a right or wrong one, really. I’m very open to hearing other interpretations on this thing.
Btw while we’re here, the wolf thing could also be connected to Elliot’s death, since he likely got killed by dogs as well (long story). In that case, the apple could represent knowledge, as in, the “forbidden” knowledge of Elliot’s existence and death. But… that’s kinda really disconnected from the rest of the MV and I don’t know how to relate it to the other lines the apple is seen alongside. So, throwing it out there, but I don’t think there’s a connection there.
Finally, I don’t think Mai’s the mastermind. Yes, I know that her throwing something to a wolf could be an allegory to her executing Min. But as stated earlier, it’s likely she’s already dead, and it’s kinda hard to mastermind a killing game from beyond the grave. You could connect it, in a more roundabout way, to theories that Mai’s death caused the killing game, but I don’t think it can really go further than that.
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Gather around the pure white table Dance on spinning dishes, oh no We've forgotten the right way to breathe Let’s continue until we drown
Same lyrics as before, except for the change of “let’s continue until we drown.” It fits with Teruko lying on the table, not really doing anything. See, I believe this moment represents one where Teruko has given up on actively fighting, and is just deciding to go along with the flawed society she lives in. If I compared her eating with her hands earlier with her attitude at the start of CH2, this could be compared to her attitude when MonoTV told her she’d get executed but before Levi jumped in. That is, resigned and just letting things happen. This bouncing between harsh and “socially condemned” methods of self-preservation and resignation to her fate is a common thing for Teruko, I find.
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Go ahead, enjoy the sour and sweet as you please Forever uncertain, I’ve held onto this poison Let it make my cells dance With those sharp-edged words! Our pain, we couldn’t choose any of it Look, it’s spinning round and round On the dining table of “life”
Yeah remember that thing about Teruko resigning herself to her fate and bad luck? “Our pain, we couldn’t choose any of it” is pretty in line with that. Teruko’s just accepted that bad things will happen, the world’s terrible and her existence is suffering. Hence, “enjoy the sour and sweet as you please” while she’s lying on the table; she’s a meal ready to be consumed by those who hurt her at their whims.
And who do I mean by “those who hurt her”? Well, if you didn’t catch it, the type of knife and its placement is a clear echo of Xander stabbing Teruko. Now, judging by several of her statements through the series, Xander isn’t the only person who’s ever hurt her, but he does work as a stand-in. Someone Teruko trusted has stabbed her in the… I’d say back but it was really the stomach, and she thinks this is what will always happen if she opens herself to hoping things will be better. She wants to, to some extent (“forever uncertain”), but she knows it will still hurt her eventually (the poison “making her cells dance”).
Well, except.
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Here Mai is, pointing a knife away from Teruko. Defending her, possibly. This is the same knife she held at the start, the one which seemed to suggest Mai was playing by the rules of society. Except, she’s now taken those things, and is now using it to point at whoever may want to “eat” Teruko. That could represent a couple of things, but the most straightforward idea for me is that several of the things that make Mai a standup member of society are also just good traits for a friendship, such as her kindness and compassion.
Now, the next section has a lot of repeated images, so I’m just going to describe what shows up with each lyric.
[Mai pointing knife from uninjured Teruko] Now, gather around the pure white table Dance on spinning dishes, oh no [Teruko stabbed, alone] We’ve forgotten the right way to breathe [Mai holding knife, Teruko hidden] It’s all over once we drown (What luxurious dining table!)
(Btw you can know if Teruko is injured or not by facial expression, if you were wondering how I could tell)
Chorus, we know the lyrics. However, I’d like to point out that the line “we’ve forgotten the right way to breathe” is shown with Teruko injured and no Mai, possibly implying that being alone is “the wrong way to breathe” as it gets Teruko injured. That’s my favorite interpretation for that, anyways. Also ominous showing Mai front and center when talking about drowning as an allegory for death, but frankly? This is the first “dead” allegation she’s caught this entire video, and seeing how she managed to catch, like, three in the two seconds her numeral shows up in LGI alone, I’m actually quite proud of her! She may not be beating the allegations, but at least she's not getting one per scene!
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Now, play a pure black elegy Let’s dance on the palm of your hand, oh no How does it feel to be devoured by the prey you once mocked?
Let’s start by focusing on what’s happening with Teruko in in the background, because it’s quite sweet. Not only does she start smiling and crying in joy, her stomach is covered in Mai’s signature flowers. This is pretty clear; Mai’s kindness has “fixed” the injuries other people had caused Teruko, her flowers covering up the Xander related injury that serves as a stand-in for all the betrayals Teruko’s endured over the years.
Admittedly, such heartwarming visuals are a bit of a contrast to the line “play a pure black elegy”, which if you don’t know is a “poem of serious reflection, usually a lament for the dead”, and the whole “devoured by the prey you once mocked” thing. However, that’s presumably because Mai is still very much holding a knife up to someone, so we can get away with some darker stuff.
I choose to interpret these lines as these two effectively talking to the status quo of Teruko’s life, if that makes sense. With Mai’s help, Teruko’s finally regained the courage to fight against her fate and stand up again, looking to “devour” the vague enemy of her luck whom she was always the prey to. The elegy, then, is aimed at this vague enemy, who they seek to defeat and “kill.” Does that make sense?
And this is the final link I need to explain my aforementioned “this MV is from Teruko’s perspective” theory. Because, you see, I believe this entire MV shows a story, and there’s an arc about Mai and Teruko’s friendship which can be followed. I believe this MV represents the process of Teruko befriending Mai, from Teruko’s perspective.
Think about it. It starts with Teruko and Mai literally opposed to one another, and Mai effectively being shown as one of the people who “wears the same face” as the others, given she’s following proper table manners. She’s nothing special, just someone else who will betray Teruko eventually, hence Teruko’s almost angry expression on that table. Someone who will bite that “forbidden fruit” that is the ironclad rule of the world. Trash will be trash, fools will be fools, and Teruko will be unlucky and get betrayed.
But then, Mai rejects the apple. And when she grabs the knife again, she points it away from Teruko, even when Teruko was lying on the table and ready to get hurt again. This is also, by the way, the first time Mai opens her eyes in the MV; the first time Teruko and her see eye to eye (per se). Because Mai always trusted Teruko, always wanted to be her friend, and only now is that good faith being returned. Well, I assume she never had any bad intentions, anyways.
Look, from how Mai is usually presented, she may as well be perfect in my books. If I catch her burning an orphanage, I’d probably assume the orphans deserved it. This is hyperbole, of course, but only barely.
And so, Mai has officially broken through Teruko’s bad luck and allowed her to “devour” that horrid fate which had always been pushing her down, allowing them to finally dance together in the end, smiling all the while.
Now, obviously, this makes 15000 assumptions as to how Mai and Teruko actually met, what their relationship was like, etc. There are a million things I may have just gotten horribly wrong. But as always, we know too little about Mai to make any good theories without a lot of assumptions. And with the little we do know, this interpretation makes sense in my mind, so it’s the one I’m currently going with!
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Go ahead, enjoy the sour and sweet as you please Forever certain, we’ve been waiting for love Let these cells dance With that completely decayed mind! Nothing will be taken from us Our pain and everything is spinning On the dining table of “life” What a luxurious fool’s table!
Look, by this point, you’ve heard what this scene is all about. Mai and Teruko finally both throw away the rules of society and dance upon the table together, not caring what they destroy or messy up in the process. They’re more certain now, because they’ve found the love they were looking for, and feel like nothing will go wrong because “nothing will be taken from us.” The pain’s still there, but they’ll face it together! What a wonderfully hopeful ending! Ignore that Mai's probably dead please.
And since this part’s pretty easy, it gives me time to appreciate the yuri!
You see, this may be something I’ve only ever brought up once, but Teru-Min-Mai is my favorite DRDT ship, and it has been for a while. And while I can’t find any excuse to talk about Min for longer than I already have (a tragedy, I know), I can spare some time to spread the Terumai side of the Agenda, at least! I’ve seen a few people start thinking about shipping it too because of this MV, so let me make a sales pitch. Ehem.
-Opposing themes: You’ve heard of the “dearly unloved” and “dearly loved” thing from the portraits, but did you know red and green are complimentary colors?
-Looking for each other: I mean, just look at what can show up on Mai’s page.
[Mai Quote - Teruko]: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named 'Teruko Tawaki.'
Come on. Why’re you so interested in looking for her if not to kiss her on the lips?
-Matching phone charms: We see that Teruko’s monopad has a phone charm in 2-1, which she shares with Unnamed Classmate. Btw, Mai’s profile states she likes phone charms :)
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-Matching tattoos?: Mai’s iconic flower tattoo is on her left arm, and Teruko’s left arm has always been conspicuously hidden from us. But from the jacket off reference, it seems there is something important there. And from the only time we’ve ever had even a glimpse of it, it seems like she may be hiding the same tattoo as Mai.
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-Dream sequences: Teruko literally dreams of Mai in her 1-6 dream sequence. And her dialogue there couldn’t hold more fondness if it tried.
It's strange I would remember her now, of all times. What was her name again? It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't remember. Xander always reminded me of that girl. Perhaps that's why I'm thinking about her now. They looked similar, with that same red hair and smile. And... they both wanted to help, didn't they?
-Teruko’s favorite color is red “by association”: Considering Xander stabbed her, I think the association comes from someone else. Imagine loving someone so much they change your favorite color wow.
-Apocalyptic levels of doomed: We’re DRDT fans, we enjoy our yuri when it’s doomed. And the second anniversary art makes the doomed-ness pretty clear.
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(I have to remake this collage there's like three pixels on it total lol)
The code translates to “It’s all your fault.” Combined with Mai likely being dead, you can put two and two together that Teruko might blame herself for Mai's demise, or at least she would if she had all her memories. This is doomed as can be.
-This entire MV: Like come on.
Anyways, ship Terumai. Or don’t, I really don’t care about shipping much and you can do what you want forever. This is just so newer fans aren’t hopelessly confused on why these two are together in this MV and seem to be about two seconds from proposing to each other; the basis for them being really good friends, if nothing else, has always been there.
Anyways, the video ends with a curtain closing, because we’ve been interpreting life as a stage to dance upon, so it’s a natural way to close things out. If you wanted a sadder reading, you could take the idea that Teruko ends up seeing her relationship with Mai as a play, an act that would always end eventually, because it was too good to last when taking her luck into account. The yuri is even more doomed than we expected, I fear.
-
And that should be it! What a wonderful MV this was! It’s nice to really get insight into what Teruko and Mai’s relationship looked like, sort of, and I know I’ll personally savor some of these frames forever. Loved it. Happy 5th anniversary everyone, and happy birthday Mai! Thanks for reading! See ya’!
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cillians-sweetheart ¡ 2 days ago
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/cillians-sweetheart/772157725448847360/whos-got-fic-ideas-i-got-writers
Maybe Cills with a younger reader (25-35 ish?) and they actually decided not to have more children but she gets accidentally pregnant? But of angst but ends with fluff? Sorry very basic 😭
Not basic! Love it!! 😋 And I hope you love it too!
A Miracle Arrival - Cillian Murphy
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Cillian Murphy(36) x Wife!Reader(25)
Plot: After a date night, Y/N and Cillian put the kids to bed and have some well needed alone time that ends in an unexpected surprise.
Content: kissing, slight sexual content, speak of menstruation, marriage, kids, pregnancy, emotional melt down (f), fluff
During our four years of marriage, people would expect that after a few months, our desires towards each other would just disappear and we wouldn't crave to touch each other day to day. But that wasn’t the case. In a marriage between two heavily passionate lovers meant that our love from our wedding day to today, never changed. Not even fading in the slightest.
Already at age 25, I’ve had 2 beautiful children. The perfect duo of an older daughter (Georgia), and younger son (Christian), ages three and one. Our daughter, now being able to speak full sentences, has begun to develop Cillians accent. But it wasn't surprising as she always took after him, and loved him more than me. And my son is the opposite, a mini me with his looks and attitude.
We decided after having Christian that we were done for children. Having two toddlers was difficult but also I couldn't picture myself going through labour ever again. Two was enough.
On a Friday evening, Cillians mother came by the house to watch the children for a few hours and put them to bed while he and I went out. We learned that monthly dates help keep the spark in our relationship. It wasn’t that we didn’t feel anything towards each other anymore, we just feared that someday that spark would be gone.
“So… I was thinking that after dinner, we would send mom home and just lay low in the bedroom for the night. Yeah?” Cillian offered, holding his glass of wine in his hand. .
“Yes,” I answered, reading through the menu. “I don’t really have the energy for anything fancy. Laying in bed sounds perfect.”
And that’s what we did. At first.
When we got home his mother sat in the living room reading a book, but left shortly after as we were now home. The house was silent and the kids were asleep. We didn’t waste a single moment to finally be lazy after both of our long days.
We changed into comfortable clothes, and cuddled closely beneath the warm duvet. The tv played a show we hadn’t paid attention to and the tension between us grew hotter with each passing moment. And once our single kiss became sloppy and never-ending, the tv came off. As with our clothes.
It all happened so quickly. In just seconds he was above me kissing roughly at my neck, and my legs tightly wrapped around his hips. We didn’t think about anything in the moment, nothing but wanting more from each other's bodies. The pleasure filling both of us made it almost impossible to stay quiet. I had to bite back moans, hiding in his muscular shoulder.
After the hour which felt of 20 minutes, we both fell weak side by side. I didn’t think of anything but just being ready to go to sleep in the arms of the man I loved.
A month went by and life carried on -as usual- I was ‘delightfully’ greeted by an absence of my period. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I’m a week overdue. My heart sank at the possible reason why I was like this. Why I was late, nauseated, and really hungry.
While Cillian was off at work I stopped by the drug store and to the aisle I really didn’t want to be in. With rows and rows of pregnancy tests. I looked over my shoulders and quickly scanned over the several options of tests. I picked the cheapest one to not cause suspicion on Cillian and I’s shared credit card. If it had to come to it, I’d say I bought the kids some candy.
I waited anxiously for the remainder of the day. I was terrified to take that test, but also itching to get an answer. If I were pregnant, I’d need to plan what was going to happen, and if I wasn’t I could’ve been rattled for nothing. So I took the test.
I hid myself in Cillian and I’s bathroom while he made supper for the kids. The test shook from my shaky hands as my eyes squeezed shut waiting for it to be done. And after two minutes, I flipped the little plastic stick towards me. two bright red lines.
My mind went blank. I was in shock, and felt nothing. Until a minute after the fear kicked in and I cried and puked the way I did when pregnant with Christian. All those memories of my fat, stretched skin, and agonzing contractions, came back to me like a bullet to the skull. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t afford another child, nor could my body. How would I ever tell Cillian…
It wasn’t until 5 minutes later I was able to clear my tears. Quickly, I coated my face in concealer to hide the redness to not cause worry to Cillian or our children. I put on an awkward grin and entered the kitchen to where Cillian had been spoon feeding our youngest, and Georgia putting her food everywheres it wasn't supposed to.
“Hey,” He turned his head towards me, standing straight from kneeling on the floor. “You alright?” He asked with a tilt of his head.
“Yeah I just needed to use the bathroom.” I walked past him with a napkin and wiped our daughter's messy face.
Cillian didn’t take any suspicion, and continued to feed Christian and clean the kitchen. He was always so good with them. Like he could hundreds and do perfectly fine. But there was no way I was having a third child. Because it was me that would actually birth them, not him.
After supper with the kids tucked into bed, Cillian and I sat closely on the couch in the living room watching the Tv. My legs laid over his lap and my head rested against his shoulder. His gentle hand lightly stroked my thigh. I began to remember all those feelings from earlier. The fear, the angst, the pain. Tightness grew in my chest and my face turned cold. I was frozen in my spot. Tears welding in my eyes.
My breath being held and my slight shaking caught Cillian’s attention from the Tv. Taking the remote in his hand, he turned the Tv off and turned his face down to mine.”Y/N? Baby.” He took my cheek in his hand and turned me to look at him. “What’s going on?” His voice held concern but tenderness. His thumb lightly rubbing my cheek.
“I um…” I froze up, looking down with a single tear falling from my right eye. I debated in my head with other answers besides the truth to tell him. I dreaded telling him such a thing.
“What love?” His face leaned down closer to mine with sympathy in his eyes.
“I- I’m pregnant.” My eyes fell down to my lap with shame. It became silent for a moment. An unbreakable tension grew heavy between us.
“Are you- Really?” I nodded with another tear rolling down my cheek. “Oh sweetheart.” Cillian pulled me into his chest, holding me while I broke down into the same emotional state I was when pregnant with Georgia and Christian.
Cillian lightly rubbed my belly while his other hand stroked my back.
“I don't know what to do.” I sniffled and choked on my tears. “I can’t do this… I’m already a crap mom, I- I can't have another one!” I said with irritation mostly towards myself.
“No you’re not love.” Cillian cooed, kissing the top of my head.
“But,” I mumbled. “You do so much for them… while I hide in the bathroom.”
He took my face in my hands looking seriously into my eyes. “A real mother is one who is not afraid to have her own space.”
I looked back at Cillian with adoration and nodded at his words. “I just… my body can’t go through this again.”
“Is it your body, or your mind?”
“I don’t even know anymore…”
“Well, I want you to do whatever it is that feels right. Okay?”
“Mhm,” I nodded. “But if I did somehow want to have another… would you mind?” My watery eyes glared up to his.
“Not at all love, I love our children and would love just as many more.” He grinned the same grin that made me fall in love with him for the first time. I felt the warmth and tenderness in his voice. “Do you want another?”
“Well I don’t want to get rid of this one…” I lightly rubbed my lower belly. Cillian’s hand held over top of mine.
“We don’t have to then. I’d be more than happy for another baby.” He kissed my forehead. “If there was anyway they’d turn out like our already beautiful children, then how could I say no.”
I looked up with a warm smile at him. “Oh I love you…” I said lovingly touching his cheek with my hand.
“I love you too my love.”
And nine months later with Cillian at my side, I was handed the most precious baby girl who held my every feature. My twin. She cooed lightly and her eyes twinkled open for the first time in the light. And when those little eyes fully opened, they melted with love seeing my face.
She was so perfect, an angel little girl. And everyday since the day she was born, I thanked Cillian for being the loving husband he is and teaching me to listen to my heart. Because if I hadn’t that day I wouldn’t have had this sweet girl who I later named Mila. My miracle sent from heaven.
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daughters-of-liberty ¡ 3 days ago
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I grew up very spoiled. Had everything I needed and wanted. Every toy, treat, article of clothing or makeup, video game. I had a tv in my bedroom growing up. I had TONS of books and dolls. I had everything a middle class girl could want...except for emotional assurance, stability, and safety. My parents weren't bad people, but they had their own issues that they didn't sort through yet, they were young, immature, emotionally disregulated, and needed more emotional assurance from me than they could give in return. My dad was a tough love kind of guy, my mom was emotionally dependent on me (like Lorelai Gilmore, but even more harebrained and SUUUPER overprotective), my maternal grandmother is a classic case of narcissism who shamed me for being skinny and found some way to ruin every birthday, and my paternal grandparents always fawned over my older half sister more than me. Said sister was 6 years older than me and as soon as she stopped being a kid and started being a teenager, I was an annoying kid sister that she had to force herself to play dolls with when she would've rather been watching anime or reading. We moved around a lot and I wasn't able to form lasting friendships. I was so, so lonely growing up. And everytime I tried to make people understand my hurt, which I didn't have words for, I was called selfish and told to be more empathetic to other people's points of view; "not everything revolves around you".
I was only spanked once as a kid, which just made me laugh cause it tickled (its possible my dad wasn't really going for it), and my mom only slapped me across the face once when I was a teenager and called her a bitch to her face when I wasn't allowed to swear yet (tbh, I kinda deserved that). I was barely grounded, and the few times I was, mom cut it short because she got lonely or felt guilty or something. I rarely got toys or games taken away after about age 7. After I started homeschooling, I was allowed to stay up and sleep in as late as I wanted. I didn't really have a diet. My parents didn't even make me bathe as often as I should have. I now recognize I had depression throughout my latter teenage years. Nobody listened to my interests. Nobody got me the gifts I really asked for, deciding for me what I would want for birthday or Christmas presents. In my teenage years, I was parentified made to help raise my cousin, sans money or even gratitude from my aunt and uncle. After he was born, all my birthdays suddenly revolved around him. Again, when I brought this up to anyone, it was "he's a baby, this is important to him, stop being selfish".
I could continue, but I've gone on long enough. So, was I abused? No. I wouldn't say so. Neglected? Emotionally, yes, I do believe I was. My parents "tried their best". But, hey, at least I had toys and video games, right?
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this post hasn't left my mind since i've first saw it
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corviiids ¡ 2 days ago
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hello! how do you find consistent friends in fandom? as in, how do you find people who stick with you through different fandoms and listen and read your work. also, how long have you been writing for and how long did it take you to get so good at writing and character analysis.... your work is such an inspiration to me, genuinely one of my top 3 authors across ao3. i hope the writing goes well!
hey! this is really sweet, thank you very much for your lovely kind words. 💖
re: friendship: i don't mean to be a downer about this so i hope it doesn't come across this way, but i do think the concept of friends where you follow each other through all your fandoms and continue to read each other's work etc kind of... either doesn't exist or is just a rare phenomenon and not a 'type' of friend per se more than it is something that just happens out of luck. i am lucky enough to have friendships which have persisted through all of us changing fandoms, but the reason those friendships last is actually because we found connections that went beyond common interests. i think sharing a fandom/interest is great as an initial point of connection and a way to meet, but for a relationship to last, you need to have a deeper bond than both being into the same thing--so contrary to what you've asked about (oops sorry) those friendships im speaking of only last because we didn't follow each other into different fandoms, really. we didn't have to. along the same vein, i'd respectfully argue that it wouldn't be productive or fair of me to group 'reading my work' in as an element of friendship, so to speak--i definitely don't expect my friends to read my fic and vice versa, we all understand that we can support each other in our creative pursuits and lives in general / in the abstract without needing to be a fan of the same things or even necessarily being fans of each other's work (although of course it's always nice). i know this doesn't really answer your specific question but i hope it doesn't come across as pessimistic as it might sound. i truly and genuinely believe it's a positive thing that the idealised friendgroup traipsing through fandoms together doesn't really exist (or if it does exist, it's luck and not something to shoot for in itself), because this just tells me to look out for these great opportunities to form bonds that last beyond superficial interests.
in terms of how to make those friendships to begin with, im honestly even less help. my friendships kind of just happened to me. im actually quite terrible at reaching out to people and i am notoriously difficult to reach myself hahaha so honestly all the credit for my friendships goes to my friends for being patient and sticking with me despite that. i am honestly just very lucky in that i've been able to talk out loud into the void and have had wonderful people reach out to me because of it, but that's hardly a reliable strategy... i guess i'd encourage you to be more like my friends, who are the anime protagonists wielding the power of friendship to my prickly antagonist, or whatever. oh another thing to remember i guess is that some friendships just don't last this way and will stay within fandoms and may peter out, and that's ok. i don't consider those relationships less real or valuable for being less lasting.
re: writing: i want to caveat that i don't think i'm fairly able to say (or comfortable saying) that i'm particularly good at writing or character analysis, certainly not to an extent that i'd be willing to hold myself up as an example of it, but i really appreciate that you feel that way about my work and am incredibly honoured to be considered an inspiration in any capacity!!
with that disclaimer made, i'll do my best to answer for whatever it's worth. i've liked writing ever since i was a very little kid, but i will credit any actual progress i've made in developing the skill to writing fanfic because i think that being able to focus on building character and logical flow in plot progression over other things like creating characters, worldbuilding, inventing plots wholesale, etc--which has allowed me to sort of expedite those skills in particular and which i think are helpful in writing more broadly. (this also answers the 'character analysis' part specifically--when you don't have to/get to invent a character, you have to spend more time taking them apart.) anyway, i started writing fic about twelve or thirteen years ago, and there have been periods within that where i've progressed faster or slower depending what's going on in my life haha. i do think time played a massive role in any skill developments i've made, but i also know people take less time or more time to make similar progress (caveat again: progression is subjective, this is very approximate), so i think the other key ingredient besides time is engagement. if it's helpful, i went into that a little bit more here, but as stated i have a lot more to learn and would never present myself as an expert lol
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vampiriito ¡ 3 days ago
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Summer was my first love (JJ Maybank x shy! kook! reader) part 1
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A/N: Hi loves! this is my first fic and i just wanna let you know that I'm open to any criticism, but i want you to be able to nice at the same time. This is inspired by my favorite author on here the lovely @featherandferns, her fic daylight was so good and i read all the parts in less than 2 hours. With that being said the plot is completely different but i recommend checking out her works too because she's very talented! this might be a bit long, i wanted to write a slow-burn. Let me know if i managed to do that (┬┬﹏┬┬)
Summary: After getting locked into a closet with a kook girl, JJ Maybank comes to the realization that his animosity towards the spoilt people living on Figure Eight doesn't have to apply to every single one of them.
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"Fuck! Seriously?" JJ Maybank's blue eyes meet yours through the frame of your glasses as he sneers at the door which was now shut. Leaving you both stuck together in this small cramped closet. If you weren't panicked cause of the claustrophobic tendencies of your stupid brain, you definitely were now.
You were alone with your 3rd grade crush, and he had no idea, you were a kook, (which he hated,) and one hell of a wallflower person. You've been watching him from a far since you were 9, and it got a little weirder once you could walk around freely and just... take pictures with your camera as your hobby flourished. You were now, glancing shyly between the door and his face, 'he's probably feeling weird being stuck in here with a complete stranger.' you thought to your self, making sure to stick to your corner of the closet.
"What’s your name?" He demanded, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned against the wall, his eyes flicking over you, studying you. Of course, he would ask that right away, JJ could be direct and kind of an ass most days. And he felt like if he wasn't gonna ask, you weren't gonna speak up first.
Of course he didn't know your name, he wasn't bordering on creepy stalker most days like you were in your free time. Across these years you managed to gather a lot on JJ surprisingly, being quiet and so reserved got you very far, going almost invisible when you went out. It didn't help you were a shutterbug, always taking pictures and people watching, "Y/n.." you responded softly and weakly, adjusting your glasses.
He raised an eyebrow, studying your face for a moment. That name sounded familiar, he could swear he'd heard it before somewhere, the only question was where.
"You're a kook, huh? I should have known." He grumbles, running a hand through his messy dirty blonde hair. You looked so.... soft, and it somehow made him scoff. He hated your kind more often than not, and here he was, stuck in a closet with one.
You nodded, frowning gently. You were aware of his hate and animosity towards the people living on figure 8, but you weren't exactly the picture perfect image of a snarky preppy kook girl. Or so you liked to think anyway.. He looked even more beautiful up close, more defined than what you usually saw through your camera lenses when photographing him. 'Suddenly i feel like a creep being here..' you thought, playing with the hem of your baggy sweater.
His eyes flicked down to your hands as you fidgeted with your sweater, his lips curling up into a subtle smirk. 'How can someone be so shy?' he thought to himself, wondering why you were so nervous.
"You look like you've never talked to a human before." He comments, letting out a soft scoff, and you flinch gently, your eyes snapping up to meet his. He noticed this and his smirk grew a little wider, enjoying that he was able to fluster you.
That's the most JJ thing he could say to someone like you. "i.. well, i don't talk usually." you face palmed internally at the way your words came out. You had the chance to come off as something you weren't given he didn't know you, and you weren't doing a very good job at it. You could've faked being confident and charm him, yet here you were talking like you never had anything to eat in your life.
He lets out a soft scoff as he watches you stumble over your words. There was something he found so weird about you, you were so… different from everyone he encountered on a daily basis. You were shy, quiet, and awkward, not like the sarcastic and arrogant persona that most kooks had. But, he tried to shake the thoughts away, he didn't need to be thinking about you this way, of all people.
"I can tell.." he responds, his accent ringing through slightly as his smirk turned into a slight frown.
There was an awkward silence that fell over the two of you in the cramped closet, the music that played throughout the party muffled by the thick walls. JJ glanced around for a moment, almost bored before his gaze settled back on you. His blue eyes studying you intently, trying to figure you out. The frown on his face remained, 'Why are you so shy?' he thought to himself, biting his tongue before he continued.
"What are you even doing here anyway? You don't seem like the type to be at a party.."
'Got dragged against my will by my very loud and obnoxious best friend here...' you thought to your self, the thought amusing you but of course not letting that mirror on your expression, "I'm sorry?" 'what? dumbass..' you scolded your self mentally. The question was loud and clear.
He raised an eyebrow as he looked you up and down for a moment, wondering if you always spoke in a quiet and awkward way, or if it was just because you were in a small, dark, and very cramped closet with a stranger.
"You heard me. I doubt you'd normally come to a party like this." He repeated, his frown returning to a small smirk as he pushed off the wall to take a hesitant step towards you.
Again, such a JJ thing to say. Your stomach jumped as he took a small step towards you, suppressing the urge to shift awkwardly. All you needed now was to look more awkward than you already were, you acted and sounded like a pathetic dumbass, in front of your childhood crush nonetheless. "i just ended up here.."
He took a few more steps until he stood a few feet away from you. He was towering over you, his 6’1 height compared to your, what he could only guess, 5.2 or 5.3 height. He had to admit, in some weird way, it was amusing being able to fluster you so easily. That was until he noticed there was nowhere really for you to go. The walls of the small closet caged you in, he was blocking your way out of the closet, unless you tried to push him out of the way.
He was quiet for a moment, just studying you as a small smirk returned to his face.
"There's nowhere for you to go.." he teased, taking another step closer, closing the gap between the two of you even more. He noticed you shiver gently and took note of it.
"Are you usually this weird with strangers?" you found yourself asking, surprising even yourself after the words left your mouth. 'caging me in like this wouldn't create a good first impression... he's just lucky I've been in love with him since i was 9.' you thought.
This time it was his turn to be surprised. He was definitely not expecting you to say something so blunt, you were full of surprises. He chuckled softly, taking another small step forward, effectively caging you against the wall. His smirk grew into a wide smile, his eyes studying you intently as he spoke.
"Only when I get stuck in a small crowded closet with them." He was now only a few inches away from you, his eyes studying your face. He was so close, you could take in some of his scent, which somehow matched perfectly with his personality. A mix of weed and the smell of the ocean and sunscreen. You could also now see little details in his face, like his freckled cheeks, and his jawline that looked hard enough to cut glass.
Being able to smell him was a pleasant feeling as weird as that sounded, his scent matching with the way he was completely. The small freckles scattered over his soft skin made you want to be able to take mental photographs. He looked breathtaking up close, even in the dim light of the closet. Like he was some kind of modern day demigod or some bullshit. You hummed gently, turning your body towards the door to try the door weakly, your hand wrapping around the door handle and shaking it with little to no force to actually get it open.
He chuckled at the sad attempt you made of trying to open the door, "It ain't going to open, believe me, I've already tried that." He said, his voice almost a murmur as he leaned against one of the walls of the closet, watching you struggle with the door. His eyes slowly traveled down from your face, down to your hips and to your beat up vans. Strange, he thought. He'd expect someone of your social status to have more expensive looking threads and shoes. Not like a librarian on vacation.
You side glanced up at him, adjusting your glasses. You felt absolutely wrecked, nerves and claustrophobia tugging at your sensitive stomach, it didn't help this closet was dimly lit and smelled like mold. 'What a great setting to interact in for the first time..' you thought bitterly, leaning your back against the wall opposite him.
He kept his eyes on your hips, letting his gaze rake over your body. He felt a weird and small pang of sympathy for you. You looked so small against the wall, and you looked like you were ready to jump out of your skin any moment now. It was different than when he usually had the unfortunate chance of speaking with a kook kid.
"Are you scared of small spaces or somethin' ?" He asked, his voice softer than usual as he spoke.
You nodded mutely in response, your expression probably resembling that of a deer in front of a truck. Sometimes you forgot JJ's voice carried a southern drawl to it, given he never spoke to you. You would hear him when he'd pass you in the school halls while talking to his friends animatedly or when he'd say something snarky in class to the teacher, his voice never directed towards you.
When you nodded, he mentally groaned. That was his luck. He ended up being stuck in here with a kook that was also terrified of small spaces. He let out a sigh, he would have to try and find a way to calm you down, since he was now stuck in this closet with you until whenever someone decided to let them out.
"How in the hell did you even manage to get yourself into a situation like this..?" He questioned, running a hand through his messy blonde hair.
You were asking yourself that question too, but i guess being so easy to push around wasn't really helping your case here. Truth was you were just a collateral victim of a prank which was meant for JJ, getting pushed into the small closet by mistake or just to make it worse for him by locking him up with a complete stranger.
You shook your head shrugging, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. You knew you had to say something, actual words at one point but your mind came up blank. Or your mouth wasn't able to say them out loud.
He let out another soft scoff, knowing deep down this was no accident. Some of his pogue buddies probably set this up just to screw around with him. Although, you didn't seem to know that. You looked genuinely clueless.
"My friends probably did this on purpose..."
He muttered, leaning against the opposite wall to you. He wasn't happy about this situation, especially not being locked in here with a girl for what could be hours. Which he would usually be elated about. But seeing you barely talked or moved, seemingly scared of loud sounds and sudden movements like a small animal, he was aware you weren't gonna makeout any time soon.
He looked you over again, his eyes roaming over your small and fidgety figure. In some weird way, he kind of felt bad for you. You looked so nervous and uncomfortable being stuffed in this dumb closet, and you looked like you didn't belong at this party in the first place.
"What were you even doing here anyway?... this ain't exactly a place a shy girl like you would go on your own free will..." he echoed the question once again, the curiosity and desire to fill the silence stronger than the fact that you were strangers.
"That's because it wasn't my own free will.." you spoke up in minutes of being almost completely silent, your voice small and weak.
He was both surprised and not surprised at your answer. He was surprised that you answered so quickly, but he could have guessed this wasn't your idea.
"Let me guess... one of your loud and obnoxious friends dragged you out here to try and get you to 'have fun'?"
Bingo! You nodded silently again, your eyes darting around his face taking in every detail, hopefully being able to recall every single one of them to draw or paint later.
He grumbled something under his breath. He knew it. From his experience, kooks were always so loud and overbearing. It was what he hated most about them, and yet, you didn't seem like that kind of girl at all... you were quiet and soft spoken, something he hadn't seen in a kook girl since... well, never really. "Figures.. can you not say no to them or somethin’ ?"
You stared at him silently, blinking as you raked your brain for what to say, your eyes narrowed just a hint. You were aware he usually spoke a lot but not this much. Or you were too quiet. You were also way too nervous to speak or think properly, having your lifetime crush speaking to you, like actually.
He was watching you intently, taking note of the expressions that flashed on your face as you tried to come up with an answer. You were obviously nervous, he didn't need to be a mind reader to know that. And there was something else about you... something he couldn't place his finger on. It was weird.
"You look like you're gonna pass out or something..." He commented, watching you closely.
You shook your head 'no', reaching to try the door again. You suddenly didn't feel so lucky you got this rare chance to speak and admire JJ shamelessly given you were stuck in a closet together. You were anxious and feeling like he could see right through you, see all the weird tendencies you had and judge you for being so pathetically in love with him for so long.
He chuckled softly as you tried to open the door, again and again. It honestly reminded him of a small animal trapped in a cage, frantically looking for a way out. Something about the way you were acting amused him. "There ain't no point trying to open it again, trust me, it's stuck good..."
JJ could tell you were anxious, and it was easy to guess why. It was probably terrifying being stuck in a small, dark, cramped closet with him of all people. And judging by how quiet and shy you were, this was probably one of the hardest social interactions you ever had.
"Jesus... can you even speak a full sentence?" He piped up after another few seconds of silence, his smirk returning to his face as he watched you struggle against the door.
You looked to the side, a small frown making its way on your face at his question. 'Not when you're so close to me that i can smell the sea salt water in your hair.' you groaned internally, still silent. You kept your eyes locked with his in the almost dark closet, scolding yourself for not being able to handle social interactions like normal people.
JJ's smirk widened at your expression, you looked like a kicked puppy, it was almost cute. He stood up straight, lazily pushing himself off the wall and slowly making his way towards you. When he was a few steps away from you, he stopped, looking you up and down with a hint of mockery.
"You're a real quiet thing, ain't ya?"
With a few more confident steps, he was now standing just in front of you, leaning his shoulder against the wall. He looked down at you again, his smirk still present on his face. You could almost feel the heat radiating off his body, him being so close. His ocean like scent mixed with the weed smell, filling the closet and making it even harder to breathe than it already was in here.
"You afraid of me or somethin'? "
"No.." your voice rung out without missing a beat this time, a soft and gentle sound as you frowned to your self. You were probably one of the few people who wasn't afraid of JJ. Years of following him from a distance and watching him closely took away the fear factor. If anything he'd probably be afraid of you.
JJ let out a quiet scoff at your answer, an odd response. He had expected you to be as afraid of him given the way you were acting. You were clearly nervous being in a small, dark, and cramped space with a man, yet you weren't afraid of him or his presence.
"You're an odd one then.." He said, his eyes roaming over you again, taking in your small, timid figure.
He was a few inches away from you, towering over your small frame. Being this close to you, he could see more details in your face. How your eyes were framed with small dark eyelashes behind your glasses, how your skin was unnaturally smooth and soft looking, and how your lips looked almost velvety, almost as if they were made of silk. In addition to that, your scent filled his nose now, mixing with his own and the smell of the closet. You actually smelled very good... which definitely wasn't something weird to be thinking. JJ found himself lost in thought the more he looked at you. You looked so... tender and yet the way you were acting, so nervous and small, you looked like a spooked stray dog. It didn't add up in his head, you were probably the first kook girl he had ever met that acted this way, it was making him curious. Just as he opened his mouth to ask something, a loud banging noise echoed from the other side of the door, making you jump slightly, surprised by the sudden sound.
The whole silent staring contest you both had going on was interrupted by a loud sound from the other side of the closet door, almost startling you to death given you were so focused on how beautiful JJ's eyes looked while he studied you intently. You sighed, squeezing your eyes shut for a second, adjusting your glasses and grimacing to yourself.
The sudden sound made JJ roll his eyes, whoever was on the other side of the door was clearly trying to be annoying.
"Oh come on..."
he grumbled, annoyed already by the person who was trying to interrupt. Before he could say anything else, the banging continued once again, this time twice as loud as before, making him grumble another curse underneath his breath. He was beyond annoyed now, a small scowl forming on his face at the constant knocking. He turned around, staring at the small closet door, his hands on his hips as he waited for the knocking again. He was about to say something, but just then, the door was suddenly swung open, making him nearly jump out of his skin.
He let out a surprised noise as he stumbled forward, nearly collapsing to the ground, but he managed to catch himself just at the last moment by grabbing the nearest thing which happened to be the closet wall, next to your head. His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest, he was breathing heavily, the unexpected event nearly giving him a heart attack. After a few moments he slowly looked up, turning his head to see who had opened the door.
To say he looked surprised would be an understatement. Standing in front of him was none other than one of his pogue buddies, John B, who was smiling and laughing like this was the most fun he had in forever as he looked down at JJ. JJ quickly managed to regain his composure, standing up straight before speaking up:
"Are you tryin' to give me a damn heart attack, John B?"
You were just as startled as JJ was, for a second time in less than 2 minutes nonetheless. Your gaze shifted from looking up at JJ's side profile to the boy standing in the door way of the closet. John B, JJ's best friend since forever, someone you also saw on a daily basis while doing your... usual checking up on JJ. John B also probably didn't know who you were, and you wouldn't be surprised even in the slightest.
John B looked between you and JJ, a smirk slowly forming on his face as his eyes landed on the proximity between the two of them. John B leaned against the door frame, his arms folded over his chest as he spoke up, a hint of mockery in his tone. "Seems like you got yourself into a situation, huh JJ?"
JJ's eyes narrowed at his best friends tone, he immediately knew what he was implying. He shot him a small glare before speaking up, a hint of annoyance in his voice
"Can it, John B... it ain't what it looks like."
John B chuckled at his response, he clearly didn't believe JJ given the awkward and somewhat embarrassing situation the two of you were in. "It sure looks like it though. Locked up in a closet together, all alone. You two got up to anything in here?"
Your eyes darted between the 2 best friends, adjusting your glasses as your gaze landed on John B, his teasing words making your face heat up. The implication of getting up to anything with JJ was enough to probably give 9 year old you a aneurysm, "Excuse me?" you spoke up, trying to sound irritated at his words although you sounded so weak and shy you regretted speaking instantly.
John B chuckled again at your response, clearly enjoying making you both uncomfortable. The way you spoke was so quiet and awkward, it was almost laughable. JJ continued to glare at him, trying to non-verbally tell his friend to shut his damn mouth, but it obviously wasn't working.
"Oh... I see, there's a voice under there, huh? You sound like a damn mouse, girl.. can you speak louder than a whisper?"
He continued to smirk at you, now mocking the softness of your voice. JJ grimaced at what John B had just told you, a pang of guilt suddenly shooting through his chest. He didn't like the way John B was talking to you, in fact, he was getting a little mad that he was being so rude.
"She ain't gotta speak louder. Leave her alone." JJ spoke up, glaring at his friend once again, finding himself defending this stranger.
You looked down, scowling to yourself at his question, now definitely not speaking another word for the rest of the conversation, knowing you'd just slip away once they were distracted. Your finger pushed the frame of your glasses up and down, your eyes fixed on your beat up sneakers. This was certainly one hell of a first impression.
John B held his hands up in mock surrender, clearly enjoying the fact that he was getting both you and JJ annoyed. "Relax man, I was just messing with the poor mouse."
He joked, his eyes still on you, now watching your fiddling. JJ just scowled at him again, silently debating punching his friend square in the nose. The fact that he was making fun of you was bothering him more than it should. He was used to his friend making stupid jokes and being a dick, but he couldn't stand the thought of him mocking you, especially since you were acting nothing but polite and shy.
Mouse? you could see the resemblance i guess, with the small one word answers which sounded like small squeaks from the anxiety. Still, John B was being kind of a dick at the moment which caused your frown to deepen as you debated just making a run for it and disappearing.
John B chuckled quietly, not taking his eyes off you as you fiddled with your glasses. He knew he was being a dick, but he was just enjoying it too much. He suddenly had an idea in his mind, a way to further piss off JJ. With a sly smirk on his face, he spoke again, this time, directed solely at you, ignoring JJ completely. "So, mouse, what's your name?"
'Seriously? neither of them know my name?' you groaned internally, looking up to lock eyes with John B nervously. In moments like these you wished you had at least a bit of semblance of a back bone, and not just clam up like a dumbass, "Y/n.." you answered simply, your expression twitching slightly from having to repeat your name once again. You wanted to roll your eyes in annoyance so badly.
There was something about the way you said your name that made JJ's heart stutter in a way it never had before. It sounded almost magical coming out of your small lips, it was so... mellow, and yet so beautiful. John B's smile widened at your answer, obviously not expecting to get an actual answer and a name at that.
"Huh... nice name. Suits you." He said, his eyes roaming over you again, studying your face to figure out if he knew you or not. He came up blank, probably due to being tipsy.
JJ continued to stay silent, watching the interaction between his best friend and you. He was feeling a weird mix of anger and curiosity as he watched. You looked so much more fragile and unthreatening than he had thought. You were like a small cat, a cute but easily spooked cat. Or maybe a mouse, he wasn't sure which.
You felt awkward suddenly, the 3 of you going silent save from the music coming from downstairs after John B's comment about your name. You looked between them momentarily before stepping forward shyly to signal John B to move out the way so you could escape this weird and sufficiently awkward situation at once.
John B chuckled again as you stepped forward, his eyes following your every move. But just as you were about to slip out of the closet, he suddenly reached a hand out, blocking your way.
"Where do you think you're going, mouse?"
JJ furrowed his eyebrows at his friend's behaviour, he knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to annoy both of you, as well as prevent you from getting away. JJ had had just about enough
"Okay, that's enough John B. Don't you think you've teased the poor girl enough?"
John B sighed dramatically, pouting at JJ's annoyed response. He took a small step back, opening up the doorway once again "You're no fun. I was just having a little fun. Don't take it so seriously, JJ."
As much you enjoyed being in JJ's presence you hated social interactions and you wanted to just find your best friend to tell her that this was a bad idea and you should just skate home. So you took a final glance at JJ, before stepping out of the small cramped closet when John B removed his arm which was blocking your way hesitantly. But stepping out wasn't any better cause you were met with the party, still in full throttle, the music making your head feel weird, weirder than being stuck in a moldy closet with your childhood crush. There were less people on the floor you were on, but it was still crowded enough by drunken couples and some rowdy friend groups to make you feel anxious. This was most definitely a bad idea.
JJ watched you step out of the closet, a small pang of guilt shooting through his chest from knowing you were uncomfortable but now having no way to help the situation. He shot a glare at John B for the 10th time in the last 5 minutes through the doorway, silently warning his friend once again.
"You're a damn dick man. Why did you feel the need to be so rude to her?"
John B just shrugged, looking back at JJ with a sly smile as he replied "Because I thought it would be funny. Besides, I didn't think she'd answer me. I thought she was mute or something."
JJ grimaced, of course John B would find making fun of the shyest person he had ever met, fun. He pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning quietly. He took a deep breath before speaking up again:
"You really can be an annoying bastard, you know that? Sometimes i wonder how you even manage to speak with girls.."
You weaved through the mass of people at the house party, bumping into couples getting busy and grimacing in apology, trying not to stumble over your feet in the cramped space on the staircase. You quickly descended down the stairs, looking for your friend Maisy, to scold her for bringing you here in the first place. Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks. A hand that you recognized, and yet dreaded at the same time. JJ had followed you, and was now stood next to you at the bottom of the stairs.
He gently grabbed your hand, stopping you from walking away. His hand was calloused and rough from years of surfing, yet warm. He spoke up, trying to get your attention over the loud R&B music blaring from the speakers. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
You tensed up from the sudden contact and because well, you thought someone else was grabbing you to pull yet another dumb prank on you, not expecting JJ to follow you and try to talk to you. You shook your head 'no' because as much as you wanted to spend time with him, you knew you'd just clam up and make it weird because this was JJ and you were you.
He noticed how tense you suddenly became once his hand touched you, he couldn't help but silently worry in his head. He wanted to sigh at your immediate response of shaking your head no, but he decided to persist a little more despite not having any reason to:
"Please? I promise I won't make fun of you or anything. I just wanna talk."
"Well, i need to find my friend." you find yourself speaking, although you weren't sure if he heard you over the music or the myriad of sounds and things going on in this house. Really, it was surprising how the neighbors hadn't called the police yet.
JJ leaned closer to you, trying to hear your soft spoken words. He could just barely make out what you had said, but he heard it enough. He looked around for a moment, searching for your friend but not seeing them anywhere in the crowd. But it was a given, since he didn't even know who he was looking for. "Where is your friend? I'll help you look for them."
You shrugged, because you had the same question. Where the hell was Maisy anyway? she disappeared and expected you to what? have fun and party? as if you could do that. Your eyes were fixed on JJ's face, the one you knew and loved through the years, anxiously shifting on your feet at the feel of his big hand still wrapped around your wrist, stopping you from scurrying away.
JJ could sense your anxiousness, he could practically feel the anxious energy coming off your small frame. He subconsciously let his thumb slowly and gently caress your wrist, an attempt to somehow soothe you, even if only slightly. He didn’t like seeing you so anxious.
He suddenly realized that he was still holding your arm, gently keeping you by his side and preventing you from slipping away in the chaos of the house party. He had forgotten in the moment. He looked down at his hand on your arm, "Maybe they went outside.."
You could call her! yeah, you could do that... but what if big mouth Maisy actually showed up and saw JJ Maybank, the dude you had been crushing on since you were a 3rd grader, holding your wrist and actually speaking to you? She'll make this awkward and run her mouth, possibly getting you rejected at the same time. So, you thought it was best to just let him speak to you and then leave you to look for her alone. "What do you wanna talk about with me?" you asked, still quietly, hoping and praying he'd hear you and that you didn't come off as rude.
JJ was a little surprised at the fact that you still stayed by his side after he suggested looking for your friend. He honestly thought you would run off. He mentally shrugged, taking the opportunity to talk to you even more. He turned slightly to look down at you as you spoke, leaning forward to hear you better.
His heart skipped a beat as he heard your quiet voice. That same feeling of both guilt and curiosity ran through him again. How could one voice be so soft and quiet, yet so beautiful at the same time? The thought confused and intrigued him.
He took a moment to register that you had asked him a question, the shock of you actually talking to him making his brain fry for a second or two. He quickly brought himself back to reality, realising that he had to reply.
"I just wanted to apologize. About John B i mean, he's a massive dick, no doubt about that. I told him off.."
"It's okay.." you mumbled smiling slightly, adjusting your glasses with the hand that wasn't in JJ's grip. You actually managed to hold the conversation normally, albeit you were still squeaking out your words.
JJ's eyebrows raised at your smile, his eyes widening slightly. He wasn't expecting you to smile as an answer to his apology, it was the last reaction he had expected. And yet, it was a welcome one. It made him feel better, deep down he felt guilty for his friend's behavior.
He stared at you for another moment, the hand he was using to hold your wrist moving once again, his thumb still slowly caressing your skin. He hadn't even noticed he was doing it this time.
JJ quickly snapped out of the little trance and cleared his throat, speaking up again. He didn’t want to make things weird and freak you out. He could feel John B’s eyes on him, he knew the bastard was watching him from the top of the stairs and silently giggling about the whole thing. He pushed down his annoyance, his eyes moving away from your face and around the room, looking at the other people gathered around them. "You said this party was your friend’s idea, right?"
You nodded silently, glancing around the room for your stupid best friend. You were gonna kill Maisy for disappearing on you like this, especially at a party of this calibre. You tried to ignore how JJ was still holding onto your wrist, now rubbing his thumb over your skin to probably soothe you. It made you feel more nervous and anxious, the urge to bolt even more strong now. You didn't wanna mess it up and make it awkward or worse come off as a creep by staring at him or saying something stupid, although the last part was impossible given you barely spoke.
JJ bit the inside of his cheek as you silently nodded back to his question. He was starting to realize how hard you were to talk to, how shy you were. It made him feel bad. He found himself wishing that he could just hear your voice just a little louder. It was so gentle. It made him want to hear more of it, but he had no idea how to get you to speak more without making you uncomfortable.
He quickly stopped himself from thinking any further, realizing that he was starting to sound like a creep in his own head.
They stood there silently for a couple more seconds, as JJ desperately tried to think of something to say to break the silence without making things weird. He could still feel John B’s eyes on him, silently watching the whole situation and probably having the time of his life.
"So...how come I've never seen you around at school before? "
He tried, even though he knew the answer. He just needed to get you talking.
Ouch. You saw him at school all the time, even took routes around the school just to get to pass by him in the halls and hear him talk so loudly to his friends and laugh. So the question stung a little. You looked up at him, shrugging your shoulders, narrowing your eyes and blinking a couple of times, your brain desperately trying to just block out the sound of the music which was making your lungs feel like they were being shaken up.
JJ mentally cringed as he saw the slightly hurt look in your eyes, he regretted his choice of question immediately. Stupid. Of course you were at school, he saw you at school, he just never seen you with anyone.
He winced as he heard that music change to something even louder. The constant music was starting to grate his nerves.
"Can we go outside for a second? I can't even freaking hear myself think in here."
Your brows furrowed, considering his suggestion. It was a good idea, you could call Maisy, maybe have a cigarette too and let your ears get a break from this loud music blaring in them. So you nodded hesitantly, glancing around one last time in case you magically spotted your best friend.
JJ let out a breath of relief when you nodded your head in agreement. He was glad he didn’t have to try and shout over the music anymore. He turned, pulling gently on your wrist to lead you toward the front door. He weaved through people, avoiding getting into conversations. He was determined to get you alone outside so he could talk to you.
Finally, they made it outside. JJ released your wrist as they reached the front door. He took a deep breath, enjoying the sudden lack of music and the relative quiet (well, aside from the still loud music coming from inside). JJ took a step away from you as he turned to face you.
"Thank god, I thought my ears were gonna bleed with that damn music in there."
'Yeah..' you agreed mentally once again, nodding with a small smile and adjusting your glasses as you stood on the porch, finally able to breathe fresh air, a stark contrast from the muted and sweaty smelling air inside. You needed to start saying words out loud, instead of just answering in your mind.
JJ leaned against the porch railing, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The air was much cooler outside, compared to the stuffy heat that was present inside.
He took a few seconds to study you as you stood across from him. The light from the porch made you look even more softer, if that was even possible. You looked so small in that moment, it made him wonder how you had managed to make it to high school.
He shook himself out of his thoughts, clearing his throat before speaking up again. He couldn’t believe that he was actually talking to you, and the fact that he hadn’t messed it up yet was a surprise to him. He didn’t want to think about how bad he would screw it up in the future.
"So uh...wanna explain why you were hiding in a closet? "
There. A question to get the conversation going. He mentally cursed himself in his head, realizing how stupid the question sounded.
"I got pushed in at the same time as you." You found the courage to speak yay! and not so shaky and quiet either. Maybe it was the fact that he thought you were just hiding in the moldy closet, like an actual mouse, which made you wanna defend yourself. That's what was missing from this situation, for him to think you were an actual dumbass who was hiding in a closet because she was afraid of party sounds.
JJ found himself chuckling, raising an eyebrow at your answer. He didn’t expect that particular answer, he was expecting you to say that you just decided to hide in the closest instead of socializing. But pushed in? He could actually believe that. "Damn. Got pushed into a closet with me? That’s gotta be some pretty shitty luck."
'I'd like to think it was kinda lucky of me to get pushed in with you, of all people...' you laughed internally. You glanced at him, tearing your eyes from the street in front of the house, narrowing your eyes at his words, but deciding to just stay silent. It was better than saying something to counter it or even worse.. to try and be funny and fail.
JJ’s eyebrows nearly raised at the sound of your small, quiet laugh. He hadn’t expected you to laugh at his joke, he was actually surprised that you had responded at all. That laugh was definitely enough to make him keep going to get that sweet, soft sound to come back.
“You know, you have a really pretty laugh..“ The sentence was out of his mouth before he could even realize it. He internally winced, hoping he hadn’t just made things weird by complimenting you. Not that he didn't compliment girls usually. If anything, that's how he managed to score in the first place. But in your case he wasn't trying to flatter you to get in your pants. He simply found you interesting.
You could feel yourself blush at his compliment, not realizing you actually laughed out-loud instead of just thinking about it in your head. You scolded yourself internally for reacting to such a casual sentence, he was just being nice after all, not asking you to marry him. "Thanks." you managed to mutter out quietly, hoping it sounded at least a tad bit grateful, and not rude and clipped.
JJ’s heart skipped a beat when he saw that adorable blush on your face. He had never seen you so expressive yet quiet at the same time since he'd met you less than an hour ago. He silently smirked to himself, now he knew how to make you blush. He mentally noted that fact down for later. The fact that you had mumbled out a simple “thanks” in response, just made everything even better for him. He would take anything you responded with, just so he could get you to keep talking and hear that angelic voice.
He shifted against the railing, his hand moving to his back pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. He quickly took one out, putting it between his lips. He glanced down at you as he pulled out a lighter to light the cigarette.
He held the pack out to you, silently offering you a cigarette as well. Which as he did, he realized that it wasn't really the epitome of smooth or romantic. But he already had his hand out stretched. JJ was becoming annoyed at himself for overthinking his every move, feeling like he was losing his footing on a ground he'd navigated countless times.
A small amused grimace made its way on your face despite trying to stop it, silently debating if you should take a cigarette. You pulled out your own lighter, stepping a little closer, not too much to look weird, lighting his cigarette before taking one for yourself. 'Wow.. so confident, lighting his cigarette for him.' you quipped sardonically in your head as you lit the cigarette for your self and took a long drag from it.
JJ’s eyes widened a little in surprise when you stepped closer to him, so close that you could reach out and touch him, if you wanted to. He watched you flick your lighter on, a small wave of excitement rushing through him as you held the light to his cigarette. He leaned his head forward slightly, putting the other end of the cigarette to his mouth and taking a drag. He exhaled the smoke as he watched you light your own cigarette.
He almost laughed when he saw the small grimace that came across your face.
He took another drag of the cigarette, his eyes studying the features of your face. You looked so beautiful like this, in the soft light of the porch with a cigarette between your lips. It was enough for him to realize that he wanted to see you like this more - not just tonight but anytime he could.
He turned away slightly as he exhaled the smoke, trying to calm his thoughts once again. He didn’t know you and yet here he was, already getting addicted to being close to you and hearing you talk.
The cigarette was a welcome relief given the fact that you were on edge since you came to the stupid party, leaning on the railing and taking long drags to fill your lungs with the smoke, the nicotine swirling around in your brain. Here you were, smoking a cigarette casually with the guy you were pinning after for years. 3rd grade you would probably faint and break her glasses in 2 if she knew.
JJ silently watched how you exhaled the smoke that was going into your lungs. It was hypnotizing watching you do this, something about it just made him want to keep watching. It was just so oddly satisfying to watch you smoke. He knew it probably wasn’t, but he didn’t care in that moment. It was oddly pleasing in a way he couldn’t explain.
He took another drag, letting the cigarette sit between his lips as he spoke. "You smoke often?"
"Yeah.. helps with the whole social anxiety thing.." you nodded your words followed by a small dry chuckle as you side glanced at him, exhaling the smoke to the side to avoid blowing it directly in his face.
JJ couldn’t help but notice the little side glance at him. That action, for some reason, made his stomach flip and flutter like it had a mind of its own, the way your eyes fixed on him momentarily making him nervous for some reason. A small smirk formed on his face as he blew out his own puff of smoke.
"Social anxiety, huh?"
He took another drag of the cigarette, his eyes looking straight at you as he did. He chuckled slightly, he never thought you would be the type to suffer from social anxiety, mostly because of his prejudice towards your social status. You had always seemed so quiet and reserved, but he never assumed it was because of that. But, as he looked at you now, taking a puff of your cigarette and shyly glancing at him every so often, he was starting to realize that maybe social anxiety made sense. The thought made him realize that he really didn’t know you at all, and that he desperately wanted to change that.
He leaned against the railing once again, taking another drag from the cigarette as he decided on what to say next.
Before he had the chance to do so, none other than your best friend Maisy, burst through the front door, her eyes fixed on you and probably not noticing JJ at first, "Y/n/n! where have you been, girl? You just missed the whole ordeal with Maybank getting locked in a closet with some random girl. It was so crazy.. I looked for you so i could tell you all about it!" she gasped excitedly as she clasped her hands on your shoulders, her loud voice and sudden appearance startling you and JJ. She could not, for the life of her read the room. Ever.
JJ’s eyes immediately went from you to Maisy, he was going to attempt to make more conversation until your best friend burst through the door.
He stiffened at hearing his last name, instantly tensing at what Maisy had said, now staring at the strawberry blonde mess of hair when she stepped in front of him to grab your shoulders.
You cleared your throat awkwardly, glancing over Maisy's shoulder to signal JJ's presence, glaring at her subtly. You didn't want her to say something stupid and reveal your feelings by mistake and embarrass you in front of him. Maisy’s eyes suddenly widened as she realized that she had walked out in the middle of a conversation you having with someone. She followed your gaze and looked over her shoulder, noticing JJ for the first time.
She gasped as her eyes widened even more, her look of surprise quickly turning into a smirk as she glanced back and forth from JJ to you.
You shook your head as if to say, 'don't, i'll kill you.
Maisy, the best friend she was, completely forgot about the look you had given her and the silent threat you were trying to convey in seconds upon receiving it. She had suddenly realized that you were standing beside JJ by yourself, and she was about to take full advantage of the situation. She smirked at you and wiggled her eyebrows dramatically, silently teasing you in her own way.
"Maisy. Please." you widened your eyes, silently scolding her and desperately suppressing the urge to groan out loud. Maisy was well aware of your MASSIVE years long crush on JJ, and you knew she was happy about this, in her own way, of course.
Maisy’s smirk grew as she saw how you widened your eyes and silently begged her not to say anything. She knew how big of a crush you had on JJ and how long you had wanted a moment like this. She was going to make the most of this.
She feigned innocence, silently raising an eyebrow at you as if to say "what".
JJ glanced back and forth between the two of you, picking up on the tension that he couldn’t fully understand. He glanced at you, noticing the look in your eyes as you looked at your friend. He could almost feel the pleading in your eyes, silently begging her not to say anything.
He looked at your friend, catching the smirk that was on her face. He silently tried to figure out what was going on. What was going through the mind of your bratty friend in that moment?
Mimsy glanced at JJ, noticing the curious look he had on his face. She couldn’t help but tease her friend, this was a once lifetime chance and she wasn’t going to pass up on the opportunity to tease her just a little.
She continued her innocent look as she turned back to you. She smirked as she leaned her head in your direction, acting as if she was going to whisper something into your ear. But instead, she spoke loudly, making sure JJ could hear her too. She loved tormenting you just a bit too much.
"You're alone with JJ Maybank of all people. How does it feel?"
Maisy said, a sly grin on her face as she watched your reaction. She was enjoying messing with you and making a fool of you in front of the guy that you liked a little too much for her liking. She didn't care, she loved embarrassing you. It was a friend’s right to tease their other friend in front of a potential love interest, right?
"Embarrassing, given you're here now." you glared at her, probably the most expressive JJ had seen you since you started speaking in the closet. A small sigh escaped your lips and you barely contained the urge to face-palm dramatically.
Maisy let out a loud gasp, acting as if she was offended by your words. She put her hand over her heart, a dramatic look crossing her face as she spoke. She was really enjoying this just so she could get a reaction out of you, which in turn would get a reaction out of JJ.
“Oh, wow. You’re being a bit rude, aren’t you? I can’t believe you’d say that in front of JJ. So insulting.”
JJ let out a stifled laugh as your friend dramatically pretended to be offended. He couldn’t help but find her antics amusing as he watched the whole scene unfold in front of his eyes. But he really couldn’t help but notice the glare you gave to your friend. It was the most expressive facial expression he had seen you wear so far, and he had to admit that he rather liked it. There was something about you standing up for yourself that he found attractive, even if it was just in a small way.
"And also I'm gonna kill you for ditching me like that.. " you added quietly, slapping Maisy's shoulder teasingly even though you were still glaring at her.
Misy let out another gasp as you slapped her shoulder. She feigned a look of pain on her face as she dramatically winced and rubbed the spot where you had slapped her in a playful way. She let out a loud melodramatic "ow". Clearly she was just messing with you at this point.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ditch you. I just had to do something REALLLLYYY important." she countered, her words dripping with suggestive undertones rather than genuine apology.
"Like?" you raised one brow, feigning annoyance.
Maisy shrugged her shoulders slightly, trying her best to look innocent. It was all an act, and she was enjoying it so much. She loved getting a rise out of you just so she could see the way you reacted and how you acted in front of JJ. In another world, she would’ve been a professional drama actor with the way she was able to act so well.
"Just something..., you know. The usual. Important, fun, necessary stuff."
"You need to drive me home. I hate this stupid party." you put out your cigarette, sighing and groaning out loud this time as you adjusted your glasses, leaning away from the railing.
Your best friend laughed at your irritation. She knew that you hated parties and that you dreaded them, that’s why she’d convinced you to come to this one in the first place. It was just her way of being a good friend.
"Alright, alright. Stop being such a prude. I’ll take you home, you baby. Just let me say 'bye' to a few people first. You’re such a buzzkill, you know that?"
"Ugh Maisy.. you're just gonna take forever." you groaned once again at the thought of having to follow her around while she bid her never-ending goodbyes.
"I'll just skate home. Where's your car? i left my board in there." at that point, given how quiet JJ was you forgot momentarily that he was there, speaking freely and more expressively.
Misy raised her eyebrows dramatically as you mentioned skating home. If there was one thing she hated more than parties, it was your habit of skating everywhere. It was like you were allergic to cars. She let out a fake gasp and dramatically put her hand on her chest like she had been wounded.
“Skate home this late!? Alone!? You’re joking right?”
"Unlock the car. I can see it from here." you deadpanned, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, nodding towards her car parked a bit messily on the lawn of the house.
Maisy scoffed and turned towards where her car was parked. She pulled out her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the car.
“Ugh. Fine. But if you get kidnapped or murdered, I’m not taking the blame. You’re such a pain, you know that right?”
"Bye... I'll see you tomorrow when you're hung over." you waved a hand in her face dramatically, the gesture sarcastic.
Maisy rolled her eyes at your sarcastic wave. She couldn’t help but smirk at how much of a pain you were being. She put a hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow at you in a sarcastic way.
“Ugh, thanks for that. I look forward to your sarcastic and overly annoying comments in the morning. See you, baby.”
With that she turned on her heel and walked back into the house, heading back into the party with a smirk still on her face. She was beyond satisfied with herself. She had pushed your buttons enough for you to be a bit more expressive in front of JJ and get a reaction from both you and him. It was one of her favorite pastimes to see you flustered and a bit irritated just at her presence.
The moment she disappeared inside, the only person left outside on the porch was you and JJ.
After Maisy had gone back inside, the porch suddenly felt much quieter than before. The only sounds heard were the crickets in the background and the muffled noise from the party inside. JJ glanced over at you, his eyes studying your face once again. He couldn’t help but notice the change in your demeanor the moment your annoying friend left.
As soon as your best friend left you were aware that you were alone with JJ again. You glanced at him adjusting your glasses nervously, "sorry about that.."
JJ couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as you nervously adjusted your glasses the moment you realised you were alone with him. He raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the railing of the porch once again, his gaze fixed on you.
"No need to apologize. Your friend is… something else.”
Back to clamming up like a dumbass you go. You nodded silently, a small apologetic smile tugging at your lips. You were going to skate home, but you weren't sure how to.. end the conversation with JJ? should you just leave? wave at him? no... that's too casual, he doesn't even know you. Saying bye felt pathetic.
JJ chuckled again as you fell back into your shy, nervous demeanor. He could tell that you were overthinking the entire situation in the moment, trying to find the right way to leave. He thought that you looked so awkward and nervous. It was almost cute how unsure of yourself you were.
He pushed himself off the railing and took a step towards you.
"You’re still gonna skate home?"
You hummed faintly and nodded, looking out to Maisy's car. You didn't hate the idea of skating home, given you had your earphones with you and you could just take a shortcut to your house from here.
He couldn't help but smirk slightly as you hummed weakly and nodded. He took a couple more steps towards you, closing the gap between the two of you completely. He stood right in front of you, looking down at you with a raised eyebrow. "Not afraid of being kidnapped or murdered like your friend said?"
"I skate at night pretty often." you stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, your voice back to its quiet and soft tone again.
JJ smirked even more as you stated your regular night time skating routine as if it was natural. He let out an amused chuckle, his eyebrows raising at the idea of you skating home alone in the dark so often.
"You skate at night often? You must have a death wish, doll."
You furrowed your brows at his nickname, whipping your head to look up at him with an expression resembling confusion. It was mostly to hide how flustered it made you, a small frown forming on your face, which wasn't supposed to be rude in any way, you were just... thrown off.
He smirked as you whipped your head up to look at him, your face showing a look of confusion mixed with… dare he say it, was that a hint of blush on your cheeks? He let out a small chuckle as he noticed your small, almost pouty frown. "What's with that look for, doll? You got a problem with the new nickname?"
You pursed your lips, as if mulling over the nickname in your head and dissecting it. He had no reason to call you that, but you knew JJ even though he didn't know you. You knew he was carefree and casual with everyone, so it wasn't hard for him to say certain things or make jokes. A part of you had always been envious of that, ever since you started liking him. Maybe that's why you liked him. He was the opposite of you, and in some ways you wished you could be like him, or like the girls you knew he usually went for.
He observed your facial expressions closely as you seemed to be deep in thought. He could practically hear the gears turning in your head as you thought about the nickname he had given you. He didn’t know why he called you "doll", it just came out naturally in the moment. He had a habit of nicknaming people, especially pretty ones, without even thinking about it. But for some reason, he was more interested in your reaction to it this time. It was the first nickname he had given you, and he wondered how you would react to it.
He chuckled softly to himself as he watched you purse your lips slightly, your facial expression almost looking like you were analyzing and dissecting the nickname he had given you. He couldn’t help but feel amused at the way you were acting. You were so quiet and soft-spoken, so different from anything he was used to. It was almost endearing in a way. He found your shyness refreshing and cute.
You decided you had enough of just standing there awkwardly and you looked up at him, nodding in greeting and walking towards the steps off the porch, your feet moving slowly, as if you were hesitating, afraid not to create a hole through the wood or something. You didn't wanna leave obviously, but you were awkward and weird and flustered easily and he was... well, JJ. You decided that you liked pining after him from afar from your camera lenses and behind corners rather than embarrassing yourself by talking to him face to face.
JJ watched as you nodded in greeting and began to walk down the steps of the porch. He let out a small chuckle as he noticed the slow and hesitant way you moved, as if you were afraid to break something on the way. He found your nervous mannerisms to be endearing, and he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in your head at that moment.
As you started walking away, he couldn’t help but step forward and speak up before you got too far.
"Hey, wait."
He took a few steps towards you, closing the distance between the two of you again as he spoke up, his voice low and gentle. "You��re just gonna leave like that, doll?"
"Well.. yeah?" you grimaced hesitantly, curious as to why he seemed so adamant on speaking with you even though you were silent most of the time.
He raised an eyebrow at your hesitancy and grimace. He couldn’t help but feel a mix of annoyance and interest at the fact that you were just going to leave without a second thought. He had wanted to talk to you more, and he wasn’t about to give up just yet.
"You can’t just leave after you’ve barely said anything at this party. You’re too quiet, it’s a little weird."
Ouch again. He probably didn't mean to make another stingy comment, but you still felt the sting a little. You didn't let it show though, raising your brows and adjusting your glasses, looking at him as if expecting him to continue, despite the obvious figurative period at the end of his sentence.
He noticed the subtle flash of hurt in your eyes at his comment, but he didn’t apologize for it. He had a reputation to maintain after all. He raised an eyebrow in return at your raised brows and expression, expecting you to say something. When you didn’t, his eyes narrowed slightly as if he was annoyed that you weren’t responding. "Is that all you’re gonna do, just stare at me?"
You looked to the side as if considering his question, nodding slowly and silently. You knew he probably didn't like it, you weren't the kind of person that would hang around JJ Maybank after all. But you couldn't help it, your brain just didn't wanna speak sometimes, it was like it was selectively mute, which was very asshole-ish of it.
He let out a low sigh at your nod and silent response. He found it both annoying and endearing at the same time how reticent you were. He wasn’t used to someone being this quiet and reserved around him. Usually girls would cling to him or talk endlessly, never shutting up.
He took a small step closer to you, his eyes narrowed slightly as he looked down at you. He leaned forward slightly, his voice low and gruff as he spoke. "You can at least say something, doll."
"Something." you spoke without realizing, the word soft and quiet even though it was more sarcastic than anything.
A surprised laugh escaped his lips at your unexpected sarcastic response. He didn’t expect you to actually say something, let alone something sarcastic.
"Clever."
He said dryly as a smirk formed on his face, his eyebrows raising slightly. He was enjoying this more than he cared to admit, he wasn’t used to people being sarcastic back to him, not someone as quiet as you anyway.
He leaned in slightly closer, his smirk slowly morphing into a small, amused smile. He liked how blunt and sarcastic you could be, and the fact that you were being sarcastic with him was almost funny. "You sure know how to make conversation, doll."
You raised your brows and nodded looking to the side once again as if to say 'i know right?', a small scoff leaving your lips.
He chuckled softly at your raised brows and subtle scoff. It was like you were trying to match his confidence and snarky attitude but by being quiet at the same time, and he couldn’t help but find it amusing. He took another small step forward, getting even closer to you. "You sure are a sassy one, doll. Most people would be a stuttering mess in front of me right now."
'I am stuttering... mentally.' you thought, fixing him with your gaze. You were sure you were plenty nervous in front him anyway, stuttering would just make you explode probably. You were sure that would actually happen if it came down to it.
He could see the hint of nervousness in your eyes as you fixed him with a steady gaze. He knew that you were probably feeling very nervous and intimidated by his presence, but you were doing a good job at not letting it show. It was refreshing to him that you weren’t falling all over yourself in front of him like most girls did.
"You’re awfully quiet though. How come you’re not all over me like most girls are?" He asked, his voice laced with sarcasm and subtle curiosity.
'Oh, how i would love to-..' you stopped that thought before it actually finished in your mind, shaking it out of your brain quickly. Your version of being all over him was stalking him around and taking pretty artsy and stalkerish pictures of him from afar. Of course that was embarrassing to think about, especially when he was standing right in front of you, talking and giving you casual nicknames like 'doll and mouse.'
He noticed the brief second when you seemed to zone out for a moment before snapping yourself out of it. He couldn’t help but be intrigued by the look that had crossed your face, if only for a split second. He raised an eyebrow at your sudden change in demeanor and wondered what had just gone through your head.
"You sure love zoning out, doll. You alright in that head of yours?"
You nodded swiftly, looking back up at him. Still, you couldn't seem to get a word out, which was becoming annoying for you. You can talk to him, he's not gonna bite.
He could sense your frustration at your inability to speak, even though he could also tell that you were trying to remain calm and collected in front of him. He found your struggle both endearing and irritating at the same time.
He chuckled softly before speaking again, his voice soft and casual. "You know you can talk to me, right? Like, actually say something out loud."
"I'm a girl of few words." you spoke up, pursing your lips gently as you looked up at him, nodding in a self-assured way.
He chuckled again at your response, his eyes fixed on your pursed lips. There was something strangely intriguing about the way you looked at him, even with your glasses in the way. "I can tell, doll. You’re practically mute." like an actual doll, that was even more funnier to think about in JJ's mind.
He found himself moving closer to you again, a smirk playing on his lips. He was enjoying the fact that you were struggling to speak, and secretly found it cute how shy and awkward you were around him.
"You’re a little mouse, aren’t ya? Too shy to talk?"
You hated that word when it was used to describe your quietness by others, but when it came out of his mouth and it rolled off his lips you found it almost... sweet. The way he seemed to weigh his words and keep his rowdy and loud behavior in check made you feel.. special? but also pitied, like he was scared of scaring you away. You raised your brows, adjusting your glasses and smiling slightly at him, nodding again after a few seconds.
He could see the hint of annoyance in your eyes when he called you a mouse, but it was gone as soon as he saw you smile slightly.
"Awww, look at that, she finally smiled. I didn’t think it was possible with you being so quiet."
He mocked your silence once more, just to tease you a bit more. He found your reactions and facial expressions entertaining, even if you were silent most of the time.
Somehow you found the courage to reach up and smack his shoulder playfully, glaring at him half heartedly. The action surprised even yourself, retracting your hand fast in fear that you might've made him uncomfortable.
His eyes widened slightly in surprise when you reached up and smacked his shoulder, the action catching him off guard. It was the first time you had physically touched him, and he couldn’t help but feel a small spark of electricity at the contact. He also noticed the way you retracted your hand quickly, as if you were afraid of what he might do.
He laughed softly at the look on your face, his smirk widening.
"Did you just SMACK me, mouse?"
"Sorry.." you stuttered out, stepping back a little nervously. It was supposed to be a casual teasing smack but as per usual, you made things awkward and weird. Just like you always did.
He chuckled again at your stuttered apology, the sound low and gruff. He found your nervous mannerisms and stuttering quite endearing. It was an odd thing, being intrigued by someone who hardly talked and was very awkward. He took a step closer to you, closing the distance between you again. "Don’t apologize, doll. I’m not mad." He said lowly, his smirk fading into a soft smile.
You nodded quickly, turning away suddenly and walking towards Maisy's car to retrieve your board and skate home. God, you had spoken to him more than you ever did in these 8 years of pining after him. And it was so nerve wrecking, having someone have some much control over you without even knowing.
As you walked away, JJ couldn't help but feel a bit of disappointment that you were leaving already. He watched you walk towards Maisy's car, and a part of him wanted to call out to you to stay, but he didn't.
He couldn't quite understand why, but there was something about you that he found strangely captivating. Despite the fact that you were very shy and awkward around him, he felt strangely drawn to you. He didn’t want the conversation to end just yet.
He thought about calling out to you to wait, but something stopped him. He wasn't sure what it was, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up. Instead, he just watched as you walked away, his eyes fixed on your retreating form.
Maybe it was the way you had looked at him with those shy, behind-the-glasses eyes, or the soft, almost sarcastic responses you had given him despite your quiet nature. Something just made him want to keep talking to you, even if all you did was just nod and stay silent most of the time. Maybe that's what JJ needed, someone quiet enough to help him ground his loudness. But that thought was shaken away when he realized you were a stranger and the 2 of you might not even interact ever again.
JJ was still standing there at base of the porch steps, watching as you opened the back seat of Maisy's car. He raised an eyebrow at the state of the car, thinking to himself about how messy it was. As you retrieved your board from under the pile of clothes and Gatorade bottles, he watched your every movement intently.
When you suddenly turned around and waved at him, JJ couldn’t help but feel a fluttering in his chest. He couldn’t quite understand why, but he found the gesture strangely adorable.
He raised his hand in response, waving back at you.
"Night, mouse. Don't get lost on the way home."
He called out, his smirk returning to his face. He couldn't help but tease you a little before you left, it was too hard not to poke at your shy demeanor.
You couldn't help but smile at his use of the nickname again, placing your board on the sidewalk and glancing at him one last time before finally forcing yourself to skate away down the sidewalk, the sound of the party becoming distant as you skated down the street.
JJ watched as you placed your board on the sidewalk and started skating away. He couldn’t help but notice the small smile that had appeared on your face when he had called you 'mouse' again. He felt a small twinge of satisfaction being the cause of the smile, even if it was a small one.
—♡‧
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A/n: Okay so... what do we think about the first interaction? I decided mid-way that I'm making this multiple parts..☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆ if this does well I'll post part 2.. JJ is such a yapper, and the reader is.. not. I'll take this down if people don't read it but i have an entire story about these 2 :( I'm just curious if this was too long
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busket ¡ 1 day ago
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putting this post underwater not because I disagree with it but because I wanted to talk about my own comic and it felt self centered to go off in a reblog, and I couldn't fit it all into the tags lol
my comic Unicorn Hunted is about haelan being hunted and persecuted for being transgender. that's what it's about. BUT it's under the allegory of him being under a unicorn curse. he exists between two worlds, half man half unicorn, but he insists he is still human, he's still a man. some characters hate him because he's a man who killed a unicorn, (sorry but Gwendolyn is meant to represent a radfem) and some characters just fully see him as a unicorn and want to use him (misgendering and/or fetishizing). some characters are so intensely jealous of him that they lash out in violence. these are things I've experienced as a trans man. but I didn't want to make a fantasy story about a man experiencing run of the mill transphobia because I love magic and fantasy
I feel like for people to understand the hurt and the absurdity of transphobia, you might need to reframe it sometimes. readers might read about Gwen being enamored and worshipping of women to the point of violence against haelan and think "hell yeah girl power" but if i reframe it as her worshipping unicorns to the point of violence against haelan, readers instead correctly thought "oh my god, she's fucking crazy!"
I can more accurately portray how dysphoria feels to cis people when haelan is not dysphoric about his chest, his hips, but instead he has to worry about hiding a horn, a tail, long animal ears. these things make him stand out, they go against his very identity as a human, and he never knows who's able to see them and recognize what they mean.
and also I don't think fantasy stories need to have the same real world bigotries, because they're so arbitrary. there's no reason why a society needs to be transphobic, because it's all made up. I think transphobia does exist in unicorn hunted but to a lesser extent. haelan and sybil do hide the fact that they're both trans but its more because they just want to be recognized for who they are, not because they fear backlash. and transphobia is so easy to mark a villain. you make any character say "ugh, you're really a woman?!" and you instantly know that character is a jackass
ok thanks for listening to me yap about my comic hehe
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luv-lock ¡ 2 days ago
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Your context is exactly what I'm saying. It's not true by any means. It's all misinformations. Ubisoft is trying to rewrite history and that's why they're silencing Japanese people who are talking against this game on internet. They even changed the name "Samurai" in Japanese version because they knew it's not true.
Look at some comments from Japanese people:
— Because of you, some people overseas now believe that Yasuke, a black man, was a samurai who significantly impacted Japanese history. This has led to a harmful trend of black supremacists claiming that samurai originated from black people and that Japanese culture is essentially black.
AI-generated images of black samurai are now being spread as if they were historical facts. This is a very serious offense.
— We cannot accept the blurring of lines between fiction and reality.
While Japanese people are very tolerant of creative works, we cannot simply ignore the fact that our country's history is being distorted or grossly misunderstood by so-called historians who are careless about the truth. It is clear that Yasuke was not a samurai but rather a retainer of Nobunaga Oda.
Please understand.
— Oh my god! That shitty white woman in the UBi game was so condescending when she said, "They used to behead people all the time in Japan back then! (So barbaric!)" I rewatched it so many times. If they're going to portray Japan like that, they should at least release the original version in Japan, too!
— They told us that beheading was a daily occurrence in Japan, and now they’re telling us we can't do it in the Japanese version? I distinctly remember players were able to slice through enemies in Tsushima. So, changing "legendary samurai" to "fearless warrior" is the extent of your "modifications"? That’s just double-speak.
— Not content with just one fabricated theory, now they say that beheading is worse than gore? There are no records of a black "samurai" outside of that one fabricated paper. It's annoying how other countries take Assassin's Creed seriously, even though it's supposed to be historically accurate, especially with this Z rating and all the changes. It's different from the previous game. I don't have a problem with the concept, but the changes are in the wrong places.
— You're just trying to add fuel to the fire.
— Okay, I get it. So Ubisoft is trying to divide Japan and the rest of the world, huh? You want us Japanese to just sit back and let Westerners rewrite our history? Ubisoft is a terrible company.
— Of course, the overseas version is probably going to romanticize Yasuke as a 'legendary samurai,' aren't they?
— The product description on Amazon is severely lacking. I have already reported this issue, but please ensure that you address it properly. If you fail to do so, I will report this matter to the Consumer Affairs Agency, the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry, and other relevant authorities.
— I've been a long-time fan of the Assassin's Creed series and have purchased all previous titles. However, I've decided to wait and see before purchasing Shadows. While I was excited for a Japanese setting, the recent controversies have made it difficult for me to fully enjoy the game. It's disappointing.
— We wanted the Japanese version to be equal in terms of diversity.
Here's a Japanese man who talked many times about this game and everytime they took his video down because he was telling the truth about his own history. Click here to watch the video. He was also called racist by Americans/westerns just because he was telling his own history. As if you guys know our own history better than ourselves. Like I hate it when western trying to tell me my own history which I grow up reading about. I'm not Japanese but I'm Persian and western tried many time to tell me my own history and rewrite it.
Also @nightmaregiver is an Asian and they agree with me.
Also there's a rumors that they're going to delete Yasuke from the game because of the backlash and the fact that it's not historical accurate.
Ubisoft is a horrible company and they did the same with the prince of Persia. Another game that faces backlash and flop. And I'm so happy that they're closing.
STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATIONS. YOU JUST MAKE YOURSELF LOOK STUPID. Because the only place that a black samurai or black Cleopatra hold an argument is in the west (and not even there most of the time if people are actually educated). And it's because of White Saviors and Afrocentrics. Who lie because of their feelings. And I'm sorry if I sound harsh but it's true.
West need to fucking stop doing this shit!
This is not a samurai. This is not a Persian.
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And this is clearly not Cleopatra.
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How about y'all actually make something about actual black people? How about y'all make something about Muhammad Ali? Or someone else. We have enough black legends. You don't have to take other people's culture and history. Stop doing this shit. You made Persians mad, you made Egyptians mad and now you're pissing off Japanese.
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frownyalfred ¡ 2 days ago
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I love love how detailed the Arkham Prince AU has gotten. If one squints, there's already the skeleton of a plot (a long one!). If I did not see it begin, I too would be under the impression that there's an actual fic people are discussing, lmao.
Truly it is so crushing to get all these “where’s the link??” “I need to read the story now” messages/replies because…..yeah. I want to be able to give it to you babe, but sadly it doesn’t exist. Yet.
I’m really holding out that someone else will write it but I’m starting to get the sinking feeling that it’ll be added to my long list of fic ideas. But yes, I agree there is a very interesting plot already half-written out, and a good writer could really make it magnificent. 
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somewillwin ¡ 2 days ago
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Hey, how are you doing? I’m wondering what do you have in mind for Vi during the period of the divorce era and their attempt at only friendship afterwards, can you share with us a bit more about that? I wonder what might be going on with her and if Cait can feel anything about Vi that gives her pause or confuses her about all this besides the tattoos. And will the tattoos be the same since she got all of them in stillwater in the main universe? I’m really curious about it bc rn it feels like she is "forced" (for lack of a better word) to feel uncomfortable sensations that make her miserable/heartbroken/sad/angry 80% of her time lmao I was just reading another ask you received and I think it’s fair for Cait to feel disheartened that Vi can't see her true intentions and beliefs when it comes to her decision to become an enforcer, esp since this is on 2x07 au universe and to her Vi has contact with ppl like Grayson in the AU and we know what Grayson, an enforcer and sheriff, means to Cait as a mentor but it’s also completely fair for Vi to feel strongly averse to this given the way she had to deal with loss and violence from a very young age because of enforcers and how this affected and traumatized her and also her family, especially her sister, and we know how Vi works when it comes to that Imo it’s pretty justifiable that Vi would have a hard time understanding why her soulmate would want to be part of this group when she know what happened to her and how much that still affects her even if Vander/Cassandra/Grayson are making progress regarding that and in the au things are not nearly as dire as it is in the main canon at this point (also hextech and shimmer doesn't exist and that changes a lot of things too) I feel it’s much more complicated them just x made more sacrifices than y so they deserve more or they deserve less because of it. Plus these two are teenagers or young adults in love who still don't really know how to navigate their emotions properly in a divided world. And it's a world where Vi has more to lose in a broader aspect. I think Cait motivations to become an enforcer are, among others, exactly to bridge this gap in an everlasting manner. Imo she sees it as a way to change things permanently. "What (who) are you shooting for, young Kiramman?". If we agree or not, or if we'd do the same or not, it's up to us individually but from what I understand what we're talking about here is not that but what Cait and Vi think given their circumstances at this point of the story Also I'm really curious to see the parents but most of all the siblings (of both sides) reaction to the mess these two are creating with their miscommunication even tho they are soulmates lol but I bet their bond will be even stronger by the end when they are more mature and have a better understand of themselves and of each other. Apologies for the really long text!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️
Well vi is gonna be mostly fighting with herself here, and lashing out and getting her tattoos. I don’t plan for her to start drinking cause she’s baby still and I want her to be happy. She’s just conflicted and needs to figure out what does she wants.
Maybe I’ll get her to date Gert during the friendship era after the divorce… she just wants to know how it feels with other people, if maybe she can be happy or love someone else like that. (Both of them have Grayson and Cassandra as example that you can be soulmates and not being together, but also remain on each others lives, not like Vander and Silco)
It obvs doesn’t work cause they are in love so they can’t force themselves to love someone else, specially when they are still meetin regularly during their friendship era….
Oh also… shimmer does exists in this AU. The barons and shimmer are still a big point of conflict in this AU. The barons like to give Vander problems and try to mess up this “peace” that Vander and Cassandra have been able to build fighting the council, and anything could tip the council into a direction that would put everything at risk like it was before.
(Vander is not on the council btw, he is just considered as the leader of Zaun by them)
The thing about cait as a character and that I didn’t want to change in this AU. Is her sense of justice… how important it is to her. She wants to protect people and she feels like the enforcers are the best answer for that, BUT she has seen vi and her family and also has felt some of the abuse they are capable of, she is not ignorant to it. She know that joining them climbing in rank AND also because she is a kiramman…. She can change the enforcers, she does have the power to change them and what they stand for. To actually protect people from both Zaun and piltover, not just to protect the interests of the council.
She believes she can do that and she’s gonna work til she does it. She wanted vi to understand that’s why she was joining them and not because she thinks like them… but ofc vi trauma about the enforcers it’s A LOT… so she’s not able to understand that at this moment.
About the parents??? Lmaooo they are going through it.
Yes, both Vander and Cassandra advised them to take things slow after they met at the hospital. Warned them about the soulmate thing not always working out. THEY DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO TAKE IT AT A GLACIAL PACE THO.
Cassandra didn’t like AT ALL that cait joined the enforcers, she was even more pissed when cait came home with Maddie and introduced her as her girlfriend. Cassandra loves vi, she has seen how happy she makes caitlyn and like EVERYONE ELSE can see how much they love eachother. She can see how miserable cait is without vi and how she is forcing smiles and just… forcing feeling for Maddie.
Vander can see how miserable vi is and she can see going into an auto destructive state and that she is also hurting her soulmate with it. So she’s constantly giving her talks about the consequences of hurting your soulmate and yourself and that she could end up just breaking them beyond repair if she continues down that path. Vander has worked with Grayson for yeaaars so he has seen the good and the bad of the enforcers and keeps helping vi with this but is letting her keep her own path and trusting her to pick with her heart instead of her head. She has a good heart after all.
Th kids are just talking about their divorce and just… they are so done with both these idiots.
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stupidlittlespirit ¡ 1 day ago
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random thought.. but do you think Ford would be open to having a partner who isn't very book smart.. I think about this a lot because I'm not nearly as intelligent as he is,, (i'm sure most of us aren't but..)
..like I'm smart in some things but I never was an academic god yannow. I was in special classes all through out school because I learn slower than most people LOL, do NOT ask me to do long division. I STILL COUNT ON MY FINGERS AND TOES FOR SIMPLE EQUATIONS LMFAOOO
anyway
I think there should be more x reader fics about Ford and a not so smart reader (not saying you should be the one to write it obviously, i'm just throwing my opinion out to the world anonymously)
I feel like I see so many fics about the reader being his lab assistant with like 4 freaking PHDS or whatever, and I just feel so disconnected to the story when I read those because like, that's not me AT ALL.
(no shade to freaks of a feather btw, I LOVE THAT ONE ACTUALLY.)
idk. sorry. i'm just rambling to you now, I just mainly wanted to hear what you thought about my first question since ur like a ford pines pro or whateva. :-)
This is actually why I made the MTB AU.
I do appreciate the fics with Reader being attached to Ford in an academic setting but I am not that kind of person and I cannot see myself being smart in that way, personally. I like to learn etc but I'm not very academically inclined and I could NOT put up with the shit that man would run me through in that scenario. One smart word and I'm beating his ass.
So, I made MTB because I wanted Reader to be a bit more down to Earth (idk if that's the right phrasing?) and for them to be able to exist without competing with Ford. I felt like a lot of fics wanted the Reader to keep up with/out pace Ford intellectually and I'll die before I'm caught competing with a man, I'll tell you that much for free sfkjhsa
Absolutely NO shade to the fics in which this is the case, though, because there are still plenty of those ones that I enjoy!!!! It's just that when it comes to my own stuff, I'm more inclined to want to read as accurate to myself as possible and I don't have those kinds of talents. I'm not that kind of guy. Again, doesn't mean it's bad, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying I do not have the facilities for that LMAO
I love science and studies and all of that, but it can be fun to balance out Ford's intelligence with emotional stuff and make use of his personality beyond his academic capabilities. You don't need to compete with a partner, you make up their other half. So whatever he's bad at, you make up for and vice versa.
I don't think Ford would require a partner to be super 'intelligent'/book smart/theory smart. He'd be happy if you were, but he'd be equally as happy if you were just willing to listen to him yap about his smart stuff and cheer him on with it all. When he's older, he tells us himself that he's grown to value love and compassion and common sense equally with theory/book intelligence, and that he's a fool for ever thinking differently.
Sure, if you were unkind and rude and purposefully obtuse with no intention of learning and growing, he probably wouldn't like that very much, but he's not going to think less of someone he loves just because they're not hitting triple digits on the IQ chart. He loves his brother and Stan isn't up there in that regard, yknow?
Intelligence doesn't revolve around a singular type of definition. Intelligence exists in many forms. Just because you aren't 'book smart', it doesn't mean you're 'dumb' or anything, it just means your talent lies in something else. You could be very emotionally intelligent, or creative, or funny or kind or sweet or whatever example you want.
I think that's what matters to him in the end.
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myfairkatiecat ¡ 3 days ago
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The Katielife Soap Opera™️
Here's the drama that's going on, all in the past 24 hours! I kid you not. 24. I almost said 48 but then did the math and realized it really was 24. This day will never end
Part 1: The Roommate Saga
Making this one short bc I've told you all about it, but long story short: my roommate in the first semester was seeing this ugly ass guy and she was on and off with him in this awful situationship. He ended up giving her mono (which he knew he had) and she still went back to him. Eventually she ended them for good--until she was drunk at a party last weekend! Okay but seriously they're done for good now.
Don't believe her? Yeah, neither did I. You can read all about it in my past roommate saga posts, which have been made. But now there's ANOTHER guy! I found out bc last night he slid a note under our door telling her to send him a cute pic! She spilled the tea and it turns out he's a player but he's cute so she's going for it anyway! Technically he's Christian, so she's like, "he doesn't break The Rule!" But... he's... he's a fuckboy... I am floored by her poor decision making.
Part 2: The Mr. Friendtoallwomen Saga
Mr. Friendtoallwomen has been making friends with a lot of women at this college. He's a genuinely nice guy and even made friends with me and my best friend. But here's the thing... he always has a crush on a new one of those women. He's always asking girls out. He hangs out with all these girls one on one. He's just desperate.
Desperate, but genuinely nice, so my friend doesn't want to STOP being friends with him.
Then it became increasingly obvious that he liked her.
And she began to catch feelings for him, but we all warned her it was a bad idea and she agreed. She eventually, after an agonizing week, managed to lose feelings for him.
He was being super touchy feely with her the other night, but then abruptly switched on the same night to being touchy with another of our friends. Afterwards, he told my best friend that he liked the other friend. (The other friend already had been asked out by him and rejected him.) My best friend cried about it before remembering that she didn't like him or want to date him.
Mr. Friendtoallwomen got stood up by the other girl, and is now back to liking my best friend. But my best friend has bigger problems now...
Part 3: The Urgent Care Saga
For you see, then my best friend got very very sick. Incredibly sick. Her roomate and I were incredibly worried about her (even her roomate, who is an overall terrible person and always mean to her, which is how you KNOW something is wrong). (Oh I should do a tea spill session on why we hate her roommate on another date.) So I went to get my car to take her to urgent care but found out my key was broken. Awesomesauce.
I have an old car with a manual key insert though, so it was ok and I was able to get my car working.
I take her to urgent care. We sit in the waiting room for 40 minutes while she's about to puke, trash talking the people working there in Spanish because they weren't doing their jobs? Like they just sat there gossipping while they had her id and insurance card.
She eventually gets in, sees a male doctor, the male doctor figures out she's on her period and dismisses her entire illness as symptoms of Being A Woman. When she pointed out that she had a fever, he considered that it could be an STD. She said no, it's not that, I'm not sexually active. He considers pregnancy. She again is like did you not just hear me. By the way, if you're wondering what her symptoms were and why he was assuming THAT had to be the cause? WHO KNOWS?! major nausea, involuntary shaking, fever, hot cold flashes, inability to move, fuzzy vision, wheezing, coughing up green chunks, and being unable to think definitely seem like your average womanhood symptoms.
He gave her some nausea meds, referred her to a gyn (????????) and sent her home. (???????????????????)
Part 4: The First Breakup Saga
Today, I get a text from a friend from home who said he broke up with his boyfriend. This was major news. The two of them have been dating for two years. Even worse, all of their friends are the same people.
Now, I knew their relationship wasn't going to work out. The guy I was friends with first just has some quirks about him that meant he and this other guy, who I also liked a lot and is a great person, were never going to be able to work out long term. It's complicated and I don't want to get into it, but I just knew.
I still felt awful for him, though. So when he needed someone to talk to, I was there for him and let him explain the story. Apparently the guy did it in a few text messages out of nowhere after a week of silence. A+ communication, folks. My friend said he's not even angry, he's just sad and still loves him. I jokingly told him to put on SOUR.
Basically, my friend was broken up with (for the exact reason I figured would happen) and I texted my family (who was close with these friends and who also were worried their relationship wouldn't work out) and told them it happened. I needed somewhere I could say "I'm glad they broke up sooner rather than later" without seeming insensitive, and that couldn't be my friend group. But I really did feel for my friends.
While I'm on this call, I get a text from my brother saying he wants advice on how to break up with his girlfriend.
Part 5: The Second Breakup Saga
I leave the call with my friend to talk to my brother. He's fifteen, he's in a great, healthy relationship with a girl he was close friends with, and I'm like, HELLO??? They were a fantastic relationship. They were good friends, grew closer and closer until they were obviously going to date, and then they started dating and everything was great.
And then my brother texts and basically says the same thing my friend's boyfriend said about their relationship. I was like, this cannot be happening.
I grilled my brother for reasons, making him articulate his feelings (he's a 15 year old boy. he's scared of emotions. I get it.) He basically says the vibes feel weird and he wants the friendship back. My heart is breaking for his girlfriend because they're so cute and sweet and she loves him so much, but I agree he shouldn't string her along, no matter how sad it is. So I tell him to not do it over text, and he agrees.
He wants to do it in person, but it isn't going to be an option, so we resolved he would do it over facetime and I coached him slightly on how to talk to her about it gently. I mention the breakup between my friend and his boyfriend.
My brother goes oh yeah, about that....
Part 6: The Accidentally Starting a Rumor Saga
Turns out, remember how I texted my family? Here I'll copy and paste that part: I texted my family (who was close with these friends and who also were worried their relationship wouldn't work out) and told them it happened. I needed somewhere I could say "I'm glad they broke up sooner rather than later" without seeming insensitive, and that couldn't be my friend group. Yeah so remember how that happened?
Turned out, my brother opened that message sequence while a mutual friend of us and the boyfriends who broke up was looking over his shoulder. That friend took the phone and read over the whole dang exchange, seeing me say that I was secretly glad it happened. It looked really really really bad.
He went into basically shock, because no one thought this couple was gonna break up (EXCEPT ME!!! BECAUSE I KNEW MY FRIEND REALLY REALLY WELL!!!!!) and he was really attatched to them both. He found out simultaneously that the two of them were officially over AND that I never believed in them in the first place! And now he's probably going to spread that around! Which is great!
I texted my friend to let him know that this happened and told him I was so sorry. Well... I told him about the "this guy found out by looking at my brother's texts" thing. I didn't tell him the whole "I never thought this relationship was going to work" thing, and I am PRAYING that doesn't get spread around. But this guy is in high school, and high schools are breeding grounds for atrocious rumors.
THIS WAS ALL IN 24 HOURS
THIS DAY WILL NEVER END
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chdarling ¡ 1 day ago
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Hi CH Darling!
I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how much your books have meant to me. Over the years since you started publishing TLE1 and TLE2, I’ve gone through some really difficult times, losing both my parents after a long illness. It might sound silly, but reading about James’s grief over his father’s illness and Lily’s loss after the accident resonated with me deeply. I felt seen in a way I didn’t expect, and your books made the grieving process so much more bearable.
I want you to know that I’m doing really well now, but I have to admit—I cried and cried when you dropped that TLE3 spoiler about James and Lily talking about death. That one hit hard!
I absolutely adore you, and I’m beyond excited for the third book. I just know it’s going to be spectacular. I also wanted you to know that I don’t think you realize just how much happiness you’ve brought to so many people—including me.
Sending you all my love ❤️
I had to sit with this ask for a little while before responding because it elicited such a strong emotional response in me (in a nice way!). The first time I read it, I sat down on my couch and just sobbed (again, in a nice way!). I am still in a mental place these days where I feel like I struggle to effectively wrangle my words around the thoughts I want to convey, but please bear with me as I try.
First of all, I am so, so sorry about your parents. That is such a heavy loss to bear. It doesn’t sound silly to me at all to turn to stories in times of suffering (this is why TLE exists in the first place, to be honest), and I am so profoundly honored to have been able in a small way to sit with you through this grief.
I have been feeling very useless and alone lately in the face of everything happening in my country and the world. I won’t go deeply into that, but I’ve spent a lot of time unhealthily and somewhat brutally interrogating myself over what can I even do to combat all of this, when the only thing I know HOW to do is write my stupid little stories? And what good does that do anyone, really? In the face of a fascist takeover, a burning planet, a lingering (and looming) pandemic, an intolerable onslaught of grief and loss, what is the point or value of my fuckin’ Harry Potter fanfiction? Of art at all? Of me?
This message — and all the messages people have been sending me lately — really helped to remind me what the point is. It’s connection. It’s communion.
Grief is an uneven road — it bends and forks and often loops back upon itself — but it is a road that all of us will one day walk. The point of art, I think — be it poetry or novels or a fuckin’ HP fanfiction — is to make sure that we do not have to walk it alone. Thank you for letting me walk with you, and thank you for telling me about it. It made me feel less useless and alone.
I cannot thank you enough for that. ❤️
Annnnnd I’m crying again. (In a nice way!!!!!!)
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ranwan-love ¡ 8 hours ago
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Channeled Messages from Ma Saraswati
Hi everyone!! On occasion of Vasant Panchami i decided to do this reading. Usually this auspicious day dedicated to Goddess Saraswati,marking the arrival of spring and honoring the Goddess of wisdom, knowledge, music, and arts.✨🌻🍀
Even if you don't worship her i truly wish you all would be able to connect with concious of creativity, knowledge,art, music, and passion. I also set an intention by end of this reading all of stuck energy from you people goes away and is replaced by spring and blessings. 💚🍀🌱✨
If you are going to buy me coffee so thank you in advance! (Opps! It's potatoes)
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Close your eyes, take a deep breath and pick the pile you feel most attracted too.
Pile one
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Cards: Chariot, Hanged man, Page of wands, Two of swords/cups
Okay so this pile might be of my creators especially musician because I keep hearing "there are people who wait for your music". This thought/affirmation can be used for just starting or being yourself to manifest even greater audience. But first you need to start,like take action and then let it be. Don't think like it didn't go instantly viral or something rather just let it be there. Your music will find it's Lover at right time. It's like the feeling of actually just being in love with process of making your art instead of being in anxious state waiting for some outcome. Your music is important for someone so just do it. Like on Chariot card I see the figure looking satisfied with a sense of calmness and yet proud of himself. So make music for your satisfaction instead of standards you have been subjecting yourself too. Go for something new too. Maybe you don't have to try finding completely new topic or something. Rather see the existing thing from a new perspective. I know so many artists worry over the fact that ow it's already done by someone else but maybe it's not done by you, from your perspective? Maybe the audience love that specific genre so they need more perspective in that genre only. Like if I have to summarise I would say try something which is already popular but add new perspective to it. If you have any idea in mind try working on it because it might feel like small anxious beginning but there is definitely involvement of some higher source, could be your ancestor or your own past life efforts. This idea will take you on long journey in future.
Okay, so it was supposed to be two of swords but I end up reading it as two of cups. It can be a cautionary remark. It's like if you get compliment with a sense of critic. Take it with good heart because at end how you view those comments will definately affect you. You can take it as mutual exchange where they are helping you to improve or other way around. So double check yourself how you will be looking at things or these interactions.
Pile Two
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Cards: Eight of swords (j with 6 of wands),Two of cups, The Lovers, Seven of swords
Lol somehow this pile always get an extra card it's like they have so much to hear but than i go into deep silence. I want to ask do you watch too many readings, it's as if there's something going on in your head like always but you need to drop it because you have beautiful potential to connect yourself with pure silence and bliss. There could be some evident phone addiction. It's like stop feeding yourself anything you see. Take a break, create space for new wisdom to flow. There are very high chances you might be feeling stuck, overwhelmed and no where to go. So come back to yourself sit with yourself sit with your peace. There's so much potential of union. Union! You might ask what union? Union of you and your higher self who will guide you throughout this road less taken. There's so much success and collaboration on this road aka journey. You might meet people alike you. Just know that, like always remember your soul tribe and your true work will only bring peace to you. The Chances of deceit could be early eliminated by just trusting your inner knowing. If you think according to what your intuition says then all those finger critics will eventually manifest into sweet fruit for you! Because your guides and your higher self are looking after you.
This pile have really strong psychic abilities or atleast intuition themselves so trust it!!
Pile Three
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Cards: Knight of Pentacles, Nine of wands, Magician, Fool
Hi my dear pile of powerful people full of potential but serial procastinators. How have you been doing while pretending that you are awfully stuck while knowing exactly what to do ? See i get your fear of slow results but maybe, maybe you should consider that things which take time are more stable, like castles are not built in a day RIGHT???? Like on serious note stop acting confused there are no shortcuts just start it. Get used to process because the potential, rewards, fame, money it hold is insane. Like stop staying in your comfort zone because your goal seems way too big. Like trust me no one is going to save you there not even your guides because you are being stuck by your own will. Start a new journey with belief that yes it's huge it's overwhelming but you are guided along your way. I don't know it reminds me of footprints in sand. Check it out.
Like my pile three you people are walking magicians. You have everything you need to bring this vision dream into fruition. Stop tricking yourself because you know it, i know it, we all know it that you got what's needed so simply start okay. Like i won't lie but there's so much resistance here while moving forward. But at same time my bro it's not external but you, it's fucking internal. You need to trust yourself and take steps ahead! Best of luck for that if not?? You are free to complaint for longer period in same position . Just keep in mind blame will be only yours not God.
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If you feel like giving suggestions for collective future readings, dm me. I would love to do it.
For paid personal readings:
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covenofagatha ¡ 2 days ago
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everyone here is so sweet lol, I'm glad people enjoy my tiny ideas even a little bit! i noticed the brainworm tag which made me giggle a little. thank you very much miss covenofagatha (i hope you don't mind me calling you that, it is ridiculously hard to show appropriate manners on the internet), and you've got that exam in the BAG!
anyhow, just wanted to pop in and say how much i liked the psych prof! agatha ideas! i don't know much (okay, barely anything, I'm more of a linguistics person myself) but it is so accurate to her and to be honest i feel like besides history agatha would most definitely be a psych prof, just because she's so good at unraveling people. I'll also take it as you studying because you're revising the topics for your psych module, mhm..
have a wonderful day miss, and anyone else who's reading this, remember to give your poor hand a break in between your fic-reading on this account 😆
-lots of love, worm anon
Haha the tag seemed fitting and I'm glad you liked
MY EXAM GOT POSTPONED TO MONDAY so Agatha's second attempt at cockwarming should be up sooner than it was going to be hehe 🤭
Here's a little sneak peek of reader once again teasing Agatha:
The movie starts and the only thing you notice is that Agatha is antsy. Her leg is bouncing on the floor fast and her fingers are drumming on the cupholder and it’s distracting. You know she’s a little worked up and you fucking love it — but you want to be able to pay attention to the screen. 
So you lay your hand flat on her thigh over her pants and she freezes. No more bouncing, no more drumming, just a sharp intake of breath. You don’t move your hand and you’re able to enjoy the movie for a few moments before you feel the fabric of her pants becoming tighter. 
Without even having to look down, you know she’s getting harder than she already was and you can’t help but tease — your fingers curl and you drag your nails up and down her thigh ever so slightly, always stopping before they reach the tip of  her cock. You don’t have a rhythm, sometimes pausing low for too long before her body jerks and you remember what you’re doing. 
Agatha slightly slouches further into the seat in an attempt to get your hand to go higher, but you hover your fingers off as a warning, and she shifts back to sitting normally. 
“Honey,” she whispers throatily and you have to bite back a smile. It’s unclear if she wants you to stop or keep going. 
So you slide your hand up so that two fingers are resting against the tip of her cock and she chokes. 
“Stop,” she says urgently, but it’s not an order, it’s a plea. 
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