#it is ungodly long AND i did tense changes to make you hate me even more

[lunar-years]

royjamiekeeley nation... here is part 2 (the last & final part) of my seasons 1 & 2 canon divergent longfic, Waterfalls.

Fun preview:

Please give it a read for more bangers like the above xox

[angelicmark]

salt and ice (m)

pairing: haechan x reader

genre: angst, smut, fluff, f2l (kinda)

warning: unprotected sex, sixty-nining, dirty talk, oral, fingering, semi-public fingering, orgasm denial, overstimulation

wc: 14.6k

summary: lee donghyuck was your best friend, but you hated him. well, at least you think you do. you hate everything that he is, and everything he had become. despite this, you find your friendship actually quite simple with him, never crossing the line of being too complicated. as time starts to grow, and as donghyuck starts to realize he wants to become closer to you, things start to change. and soon enough, you’re stuck on the ‘complicated’ line with him. your dynamic soon becomes like salt and ice.

your blood was running. you could feel your head turning hot and your hands becoming restless. you huff out a breath of air, your eyes scanning across the door in front of you. what the hell were you doing here? this was the last place you should have been at this hour. but you were here anyway, your body moving against you and knocking against the door with haste.

you hear a loud curse from the other side of door before it swings open to a very displeased donghyuck. his hair was sticking in different directions, his eyes narrowing in your direction, shirt barely over his head and pants hanging lowly on his hips. when he realizes it’s you who disturbed him at such an ungodly hour, his eyebrow raises and he has a smirk tracing his pretty features.

“y/n? nice seeing you here,” he leans against the frame, arms crossed. and you snort at the action, your eyes rolling.

quite frankly, you hated him. you hated donghyuck and everything that he was. but he was your friend, believe it or not. lee donghyuck was your childhood friend, and everyone knew that. no one made sense of it, and to be honest, neither did you. you weren’t a ‘good girl’, but you did care about your future just a bit. donghyuck, however, could care less. deciding that fucking around and causing trouble was his way to go. and you hated him. you hated your friend since childhood. but you were still his friend.

“never mind,” your voice was monotone, and he looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, “i see you’re busy.”

he rolls his own eyes at that, “not even. i was sleeping, idiot. you think i have a girl over at this fucking hour? fuck that.”

you nod your head, a smile creeping up on you. that’s right. donghyuck hated having girls over at night, he knew that was when you normally decided it was time to go see him. sometimes it hurt you for how thoughtful he could be.

“i see,” you shift on your feet, almost feeling awkward. you didn’t really know why you were there, in all honesty. and he seemed to know that, because next thing you know, you’re being dragged into his apartment. you let out a little noise of surprise, and he chuckles.

he shuts his door, “what’s wrong?” he questions, hand still in yours as he takes you with him to his room. you didn’t exactly realize just how tired you were until you made it into the confines of his surprisingly clean room. he was tidy, beyond most belief.

you sigh, letting your hand fall loose from his as you climb into his king size bed, “tired.”

he’s quick to join you, raising an eyebrow at you, “i know that’s not all, y/n.” and you hated how much he knew you. you hated how close he clung to you, knowing you like how he felt when he held you.

your body falls limp into his grip, and he tugs you closer, “i got broken up with again.”

at this, he tenses and his mind starts flooding, his stare turning intense the longer he looks at you. he could hear his heart in his head, blood starting to rush there. he almost felt light headed. he swallows, nerves starting to surface. in some ways, donghyuck loved you. he loved how driven you were, how you were respectful of others, and secretly loving. but he knew times a million that he wasn’t your type. you always went after the high scholar boys, even as kids. so, for the rest of his life, he will lay awake and imagine that you are his. he wanted you happy, and if it wasn’t with him? he had no choice but to accept his fate.

he eases as he holds you, “men suck.”

you chuckle at his statement, somehow finding his presence comforting. “they do.” but, maybe, he doesn’t. maybe donghyuck isn’t the person everyone else sees. you know he isn’t. he places a façade up, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you. you wished he would just let his guard down. maybe then you would stop holding such a grudge against him.

“can we sleep?” hyuck yawns as he snuggles into you, breathing in your scent that makes you somehow at ease. “it’s late.”

you look over at him, and notice how his eyes were barely open at this point. he sluggishly smiles at you, making you want to smile back. “yeah, of course.” you did wake him up pretty late, and you felt quite sorry for him. he hums a soft ‘goodnight’ and easily falls asleep. but his hold on you burns your skin, and you feel like you’re going against your morals by simply laying in bed with him. but he was your friend. so, why did your heart pick up when you looked at the way his eyelashes rested beautiful upon his cheeks? donghyuck was in no way your type. he wasn’t someone you could see yourself with in the long run. you were even surprised you were still friends with him after all this time, especially since you had such a bitter feeling towards him. but maybe that’s why you felt so bitter towards him. he became apart of your life so easily, for so long. and it scared you. lee donghyuck was all that you truly knew.

you stare at him one last time, before placing a soft kiss on his forehead, “goodnight, donghyuck.”

maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you thought.

“hey there, pretty girl,” you hear a voice behind you. your eyes come in contact with honey brown ones, making warmth spread through your body. you weren’t sure if it was in annoyance or fondness. but there was no denying the way hyuck’s small smile made you stare at him for just a second longer.

“hey,” you’re short in your response, turning to pay attention to the book you hold. you can practically feel his pout burning holes into the back of your head. donghyuck constantly demanded attention, needing some type of affection or else he’d probably combust.

he plops in the seat next to you, “what’s up?” he rests his head in his hand, sipping the drink he had in the other. your eyes travel down to his lips, watching as he sips the drink. you unknowingly lick your own, but it doesn’t seem to go unnoticed by him because next thing you know, he’s smiling at you like he won the lottery. “wanna kiss?”

you scoff, rolling your eyes as you turn back to the book once again, “in your dreams.”

“always in my dreams,” he sighs dramatically, making you side eye him. he was still smiling, the small moment obviously boosting his already large ego. donghyuck can’t help himself from admiring you for a few seconds. you had your lips slightly pursed, indicating you were in deep thought. or you were annoyed, but either way he found it endearing. your eyes were scanning over the pages like you belonged there right in that moment. he admires you like you’re his, like he’s allowed to and this is a normal occurrence. and maybe you can feel his gaze, and maybe you ignore it. because maybe you liked his eyes on you.

“is there something you needed?” you ask him, bringing him out of the trance he was once in.

he eyes you for a minute before finally responding, “no, not really. i just wanted to be around you, i guess.” he shrugs his shoulders as he takes another sip of his drink, the condensation starting to drip onto the table.

you nod, “okay.”

hyuck never understood you. he could never predict what you were thinking and it frustrated him, in a way. you were quite cold towards him, never once opening your heart to him. you barely even opened your mind to him. you were a mystery. maybe that’s why he stayed for so long. and hyuck never asked questions, and maybe that’s why you stayed for so long too. your friendship with hyuck was simple, you assumed. but there was a fine line between being simple and complicated, and you were sure you were right on the edge of it. donghyuck knew you practically dreaded being around him, and he always wondered why you never rejected him or shoved him out of your life.

“how are you?” the words seemed to come out of his mouth before he could think. it wasn’t like hyuck to ask random questions without a reason. this makes you raise an eyebrow in his direction, eyes finally off the book completely.

“fine, you?” it felt almost awkward to talk to him like this. you definitely weren’t used to it. most of the time, conversations with him were short and came naturally. but it seemed as if he was forcing it this time.

“fine..” he pauses, clearing his throat as he looks around the room. you were in the college café, the sun shining in on the both of you. he can see the way it lights up your hair and brightens your eyes. he swallows, seeing the few people who came in and out.

“donghyuck,” the way you say his name makes his spine shiver, “are you okay?” you look curious, an eyebrow raised in accusation.

in all honesty, he wasn’t sure. because from the way he started to notice your small habits all over again, he wasn’t sure at all. he could see you starting to pick at the corners of the pages, your eyes switching from one of his eyes to the other, your face relaxing as you waited for a response out of him.

he nods his head, regardless of being unsure, “yeah, i’m fine. i think i’m just tired. i mean, come on, nine in the morning?” he makes a disgusted face, twisting in displeasure as he glances up at the clock for a brief second.

you scoff, eyes going back to the book, “don’t tell me then.”

at this, donghyuck can’t help the surprise from etching itself onto his face. his eyebrows shot up, eyes widening and mouth twitching. he watches as you look boringly at the thick pages in front of you. you were undoubtedly genuinely reading it, judging from the way your eyes were scanning just like before he interrupted. hyuck can’t help from his brain starting to wander. were you upset? he had no clue, because if you were then you were being quite passive aggressive about it. which he guessed would be about right with you. but it didn’t change the fact that he felt... guilty?

you break the silence first before he can catch up to his thoughts, “you’re distracting, i’m trying to read.”

“am i that attractive?” hyuck puts up his front again.

you stare for a second too long, which makes him nervous. you end up not saying anything as you close your book, and he finally notices the cup of coffee on the table. you take a big gulp, scrunching up your nose at the slightly bitter taste. he takes a sip of his own drink, the cold liquid running down his throat.

“i’ll see you later, donghyuck,” you state, and he’s quick to react.

“where are you going?” he furrows his eyebrows.

you slightly raise your own eyebrow, “class?” you say it like it’s obvious.

hyuck shifts in his seat, “oh, right, sorry.” he clears his throat, “see you later, y/n.”

you stare at him curiously, before finally starting to walk away after a soft nod of your head. he sighs, letting out a deep breath. it was truly getting harder and harder being around you. it was never like that with you. he found your friendship quite simple as well, so what would happen if he starts to complicate it by changing things? he didn’t mean to draw closer to the ‘complicated’ line of your friendship, he truly didn’t. but as he watched you walk away, he couldn’t help himself from wondering if you would have let him walk you there. why did he want to be closer to you?

he’ll never be closer than this. he’ll forever be stuck in this loop of uncertainty, and it almost pained him.

the thought of you pained him, just a bit.

hyuck’s sleepy eyes were barely adjusting to the bright contrast on his phone as it loudly rings. he let’s out a groan, his slumber being interrupted. when he looked at the caller, his eyes go wide and suddenly he feels wide awake. it was you. you were calling him. he checks the time on his digital clock, furrowing his eyebrows as he sees it’s one in the morning. it wasn’t super late, but it was for you. hyuck adjusts himself in his bed, sitting upright.

pressing accept, he sighs, “y/n?” there’s silence on the other line, and he assumes maybe you miscalled him and he’s about to say something more, but you speak up.

“hyuck?” his heart skips a beat as he hears you call him by his nickname. you’ve never addressed him by that, always being formal in the way you speak. so when he hears you start to break down that piece of you, his body becomes on full alert. just for you.

“yeah? i’m here.” hyuck’s voice is soft and almost giving out on him as he sits out of breath just from hearing you call him ‘hyuck’. maybe he was being a bit dramatic, but he swears you were an angel reincarnated.

“sorry, did i wake you?” your voice on the other end is so, so soft. it’s not as firm as normal and it feels like you’re genuinely giving him a part of you that you haven’t to others.

“kinda,” he clears his throat, and you hear shuffling coming from his end of the line, “but don’t worry about it. did you need something?”

your eyes scan the room of your bedroom. why did you call him? you were completely unsure. but maybe you needed to stop trying to be so ‘sure’ of everything. exhaustion was starting to get to you and for some reason, hyuck was the cure to a long day each and every time. before calling him, you were unable to sleep. tossing and turning most of the night, and your hands and mind subconciously ended up calling hyuck, leading to now.

“no, not really.” you were being honest. you didn’t need anything. “i couldn’t sleep.”

hyuck hums, and he nods his head as if you can see, “that sucks. is something stressing you out or..?”

you shake your head, thinking he can see you this time. you’re quick to answer, though, “no, not in particular. i just wanted to call you, i guess.” you shift uncomfortably in your spot, eyes nervously shifting around the room again. you were starting to grip the phone a little tighter and your lips were beginning to become swollen from biting them.

hyuck smiles, and he’s grateful you can’t see it because then you might have closed yourself off again. he couldn’t have that. “you can always call me.” it’s so genuine that it makes your head spin a bit. you weren’t quite used to this side of him, and you were sure he wasn’t used to this side of you either.

“thanks,” you pause for a bit, debating on your next words, “you, too. you can call me, too.”

hyuck chuckles a bit, making the air just a bit lighter, “thanks, baby.”

your eyes go wide at the nickname. it wasn’t uncommon for hyuck to just outright say those things, but it still shocked you when he did. your heart started to pick up speed a bit as silence was once again created on the call. hyuck almost started to panic, but he decided to be patient because at least you haven’t hung up on him. hyuck’s flirty attitude normally annoyed you. but, this time, it did the opposite. you quite liked it.

“yeah..” you sigh, pouting as your response comes out shaky and he starts to bubble up a laugh again.

“yeah?” hyuck mocks you, raising an eyebrow as he stares at his bedsheets, imaging just how you look right now. he was sure you were just gorgeous.

“shut up,” you grumble, tone slightly playful.

hyuck grins from ear to ear at this, enjoying this side of you very much, “i would love to see you make me.”

you scoff, but you can’t help the heat you start to feel creeping up the back of your neck, “i hate you.”

“you wish you did,” you can hear the smile on his face as he speaks.

you stay quiet for a few seconds, thoughtfully wondering if you were starting to ease up on him more and more. you were. but you were unsure if you liked it or not. maybe you wanted that certain closeness with him. the thought of being closer to hyuck made your stomach turn, making you shuffle around on the bed again.

“you okay?” hyuck asks after too long of a silence.

you nod, before realizing once again he can’t see you, “yeah, sorry. i just lost train of thought.”

he hums, “i do that a lot.”

“i’m aware.”

hyuck scoffs this time, rolling his eyes playfully even if you couldn’t see, “do you think i don’t think?”

“i know you don’t,” you smile, enjoying the conversations he sparks up. “hyuck, you never think before speaking.”

there was the nickname again. he tried to compose himself, “i never what before i what, now?”

you laugh, and it’s such a heavenly sound that he wants to lock up in his head forever. he wants this memory for the rest of his life. he can only really imagine the way your teeth show and your cheeks raise in a gleeful smile as your mouth produces such a happy and bright sound. his body starts to tingle just at the thought.

your eyes glance at your clock, noticing it was edging right near two in the morning, “we should sleep, it’s late.”

hyuck checks his own clock, before agreeing with you, “we should. pretty girls like you need their beauty sleep.”

you want to scoff and roll your eyes, come up with a comeback, but all you can seem to manage is a small smile on your face. “you’re so cheesy.”

“and you like it,” hyuck had a bright grin on his face.

you nod, knowing he can’t see this time. maybe you did like it. “goodnight, hyuck.”

his heart thumps in his chest as he licks his lips out of nervousness, “goodnight, baby.”

when you hang up, your body feels hot and tingly. you weren’t used to focusing so much of your time onto him, or anyone really. it was starting to make your head feel light. there was no describing the feelings hyuck gave you. and you were so unsure of where the line stood between you and him, but you were starting to not mind being unsure. because at least you had him, and you were too scared to lose that.

hyuck was growing onto you more and more.

this was ridiculous. absolutely fucking ridiculous. you let out a large breath of air, determined to start banging on the door of your ‘best friend’. just as your knuckles almost reach the door, it swings open. and you narrow your eyes at the sight of the pretty lady in front of you. you weren’t sure if the sting in your chest was because of jealousy, or if it was simply because he bailed on you for her. but to say you weren’t surprised is true. this was how it normally was with donghyuck, and that’s what created such a high tension between the two of you. you hated it. you were starting to remember why exactly you hated him in the first place. no matter how generous and thoughtful he could be, he would always be the same person he was a month ago.

“oh, hello!” she chirps with a light smile, unsure where to go with the conversation. you catch the sight of her slightly smudged lipstick and messy hair, failing to keep her composure the longer she stood there.

“hi,” you spoke firmly, like usual. you were starting to fall back into old habits between yourself and others, including donghyuck.

“are you alright-” you hear the voice of the male who bailed on you once again for a piece of ass. his face drains of color as he sees you at the door, suddenly realizing his huge mistake. but it doesn’t even phase you anymore, too used to the feeling of being disappointed by him.

“i’ll be going,” the lady speaks softly, aware of the tension in the room. you don’t watch as she leaves, stuck on glaring at donghyuck in front of you.

“this is a classic,” you scoff, your voice spilling with a vile tone.

he winces, “look, i’m sorry.”

you laugh bitterly, not once breaking eye contact, “that’s a bigger fucking classic. what kind of ‘friend’ bails each and every fucking time on them for a fuck from a girl? was it worth it? was she good?” you step closer as you reach inside his apartment, “i’ve been patient with you, donghyuck. so fucking patient. you don’t text, you don’t even call. not a single fucking notice from you, and i have to come here personally each time just to see you’re fucking yet another girl. i could give two shits who you’re fucking, but it matters when you cancel on me each time for someone else.”

donghyuck freezes in his spot. you’ve never spoken that much before, normally opting to a ‘i see’ and then leaving. the guilt sitting in the pit of his stomach is large this time. he wants to speak and tell you he’s sorry, but he realizes now that it won’t make much of a difference this time. maybe it never has made a difference, maybe you always felt this way. he was sure you did.

you huff, finally looking away from him as you turn your back to him and walk out the door that still remained open. you didn’t have much else to say to him. you hated him, and this made it final. you kept him around each and every time because he stayed by your side too. but this time was different, so different. you wondered how you could go from opening up to him to hating him again so quickly.

“y/n,” his voice sounded almost fragile. “i’m sorry, and i realize it might not make a difference this time. or any other time. but i just don’t think i’m sure of where my heart lies when it comes to you.”

you stand still, and it feels like the world did too. you weren’t sure how to react. what did that even mean? you huff, the air suddenly feeling suffocating. friendships were in no way supposed to be like this, feel like this. it was hell on both parts. why were you so afraid of letting him go? when you turn again and look at him, you see he’s avoiding eye contact with you. it was tense, neither of you choosing to speak first after his statement. you desperately wanted to leave, turn around and walk out. your heart was hammering in your chest and the blood was rushing to your head. you could even hear your heart at this point.

“i think i have feelings for you,” he gulps, eyes wandering around the room.

you scoff, “you have a sick way of showing it.” it seems that you completely skip over the meaning behind his words. you only really realize what he’s said after you spit out your comeback.

“yeah.” he’s quiet, and you’re not used to that side of him.

you believed communication was a crucial part of a friendship, but you were at a loss of words this time. where did your friendship go completely wrong? when did it suddenly become so complicated? was it secretly always this way? your mind was flooding with questions, but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask anything.

your face turns into a deep frown, eyebrows furrowing as you try to complete the thoughts in your head. nothing felt right, not a single thing. maybe that’s why you leave that night with a simple nod of your head. you were unsure, once again. and you didn’t find comfort in it. you leave that night, a million questions unanswered and so many words unsaid. and donghyuck doesn’t stop you, and you don’t turn around. you can feel yourself just itching to turn around, but you don’t. you listen to your head over your heart, once again.

you end up going days without speaking to him, avoiding him perfectly. donghyuck makes no effort into communicating with you either, making it a lot easier to avoid him. as days pass, and as those days turn into well over a week, you can feel a hole starting to create itself in your heart. you were slowly starting to tear yourself apart each and everyday. was donghyuck truly that important to you? you tried filling the empty spots with studying and lots of sleep but no matter what you do, nothing ever felt right. nothing could fill that certain type of void that you knew, in a way, belonged to donghyuck. he was the comfort after a long day, no matter how many times he had disappointed you. you hated how much a part of you knew you needed him in your life. you hated that donghyuck had that kind of power over you.

you sigh, tears starting to prickle in your eyes. you scan across your desk in front of you, seeing the endless papers and pens and pencils laying there. you were slowly starting to understand what donghyuck meant when he said he didn’t exactly know where his heart laid when it came to you. because you were starting to become unsure of where your own heart was when it came to him. you desperately wanted to hate him. you shoved that certain idea in your head for so long just to avoid these kinds of feelings. maybe a part of you knew you couldn’t keep that up forever.

you jump when you hear your phone starting to ring, the annoying sound filling the once silent room. you search under the piles of papers, finally coming in sight with the device. when you see the caller, your stomach drops and your heart picks up. of course it was donghyuck. you stare at the screen for what seems like hours, before watching as the call automatically declines. you wanted to answer, but your fingers wouldn’t let you hit accept. your body froze, and your muscles seemed to stop working just for that small moment.

you let out a strong breath of air, wiping away the excess tears. you were starting to run out of energy. you quickly became exhausted, eyes drooping as you lightly place your phone back down. simply thinking about donghyuck was becoming draining, and you just wished you could turn that part of you off. the part that secretly cared so deeply for him. the part that wanted to keep trying for him. the part that kept bringing him back in, each and every time. but maybe you knew there was no turning that off.

there was no turning back from caring for donghyuck.

two whole weeks of not talking to donghyuck, and you were starting to fall into this sickly slow routine. it felt like days were dreadfully passing one by one. as you were studying, you hear a knock on your door. and you already assumed who it was, your brain starting to come back to its senses. and you don’t seem to hesitate this time as you make way to the door, swinging it open just to come in contact with honey brown eyes. you hated how significantly beautiful he looked, even with bags under his eyes and messy hair.

“i hate you,” you breathe out, your chest tightening the longer you look at him.

“i know,” he says, and you almost want to cry from hearing his voice after so long. “i know you do.”

“you’re such a fucking jerk, donghyuck.” and you fall into him. your body slugs its way into his arms, and he accepts you like you belong there and nowhere else. and maybe you did, but you weren’t admitting that anytime soon. your arms wrap around his torso, holding him so tightly you were almost worried for his lungs and ribs. but he didn’t seem to care. he just held you, his own arms wrapping around your shoulders and tugging you closer.

you can make out the scent that’s so distinctively him, your hands starting to fist into his shirt and causing it to wrinkle. you hold onto him and this moment so tightly. you were almost afraid he would disappear. why did you need him so bad?

when you start to pull away, he lets out a sigh. you can see just how exhausted and tired he was. “i’m sorry.” his voice is hoarse, and his eyes are barely awake.

“fuck you.”

you press your lips to his. and there’s no describing the feeling you get when he kisses you like you are all he needs in that very moment. his hands are on your body quicker than you can imagine, and your own are in his hair, tugging and pulling to bring him closer. he lets out a noise of approval, his hands traveling up your shirt to feel your bare skin. you shiver, the action not going unnoticed by the boy you’re kissing. you don’t feel sparks, but you do feel butterflies starting to form in the pit of your stomach. donghyuck was not the person you needed, but he was desperately what you wanted.

he makes his way into your small complex finally, shutting the door behind him as he kisses you for all he’s worth. and you feel that hole in your heart beginning to be filled the longer you kiss him. his tongue swipes along your lower lip, asking for access to which you grant him. the world seems to be falling into place for that small moment.

“bed,” you huff, pulling apart from him. he nods his head, eagerly leading you towards your bedroom.

he’s quick to push you down, and you’re quick to place your lips back on his, your fingers already pulling at the strands of his hair. you noticed it grew just a bit longer than usual, but you weren’t complaining in the slightest. donghyuck hums against your lips, exploring your mouth with his tongue and making you let out a sweet sound that goes straight to his ears. he can’t help himself from pressing into you, his hips rolling against yours. he needed to hear more of you, he was already addicted to the noises you made.

this prompted him in pulling away, earning the cutest whine from you. he chuckled at you expense, “i’m not going anywhere.” he licks his lips, “can i remove these?” he tugs at the hem of your sweatpants, looking at you for approval. when you quickly nod, he smiles angelically and makes quick work of removing them. he takes notice of the shirt you’re wearing, realizing that it belongs to him. “miss me that much?” his hands feel along your thighs, the skin soft under his fingertips.

“yes,” your response surprises him, his eyebrows shooting up. “it smelled like you.” he takes in the sight of your innocent eyes scanning him, the teary look making his heart beat wildly in his chest.

“fuck,” he lets out. he licks his lips again, “i want to eat you out.”

you laugh softly, “do you?” he nods. “i want to suck you off, though.” you pout, your hands starting to trail down to his own pair of sweatpants. he looks at you for a moment, before something clicks in his head. you’re about to ask what he’s thinking of, before he abruptly flips the two of you over. you let out a soft yelp, “donghyuck-”

“sixty-nine,” he says simply, taking sight of you straddling him. “ride my face and suck my cock.” you wiggle on top of him, feeling his hard on. he groans a bit, “please? i really want to taste you.”

you take a moment to think it over, before finally nodding your head, “okay.” he smiles at you as he makes quick work of his own shirt, making you follow right after. when his eyes come back to you, you’re shirtless and your breasts are right in front of him. he lowly curses under his breath, admiring just how beautiful you really are.

“holy shit,” he mentally devours you, his hands making way along your sides and going to cup you. you sigh into his hold, his fingers starting to pinch and pull at your nipples. the sweet mewl you let out makes his cock twitch in his pants. you grind against him, eyes starting to close out of bliss. “fuck, baby. so pretty.”

you whine, “please, donghyuck.” you open your eyes again to look at him, “let me suck you off.”

he groans, “fuck, yeah, okay.” he lets go of your breasts, trailing his hands to your panties. “take these off.” you nod your head, making quick word in slipping them off, leaving you completely bare for him. he takes in the sight of you once again, you were truly too beautiful for this world. so perfect in his eyes.

your hands tug at his sweatpants, “take these off now.” you smile sweetly at him, something he’s not quite used to. he’s not sure he ever would be. he follows your command, and you watch as his cock springs free from his underwear and sweatpants. you can’t help from licking your lips at the sight, wanting nothing more than to have him in your mouth. he was so pretty.

“turn around and sit on my face.” his words were so vulgar, but he says them like they’re the most casual thing in the world. you can feel your body starting to heat up, following what he said. when you start to inch closer to his face, you become more aware of how close he is to your pussy. “don’t be nervous. fuck, please don’t be nervous. you’re so damn pretty like this, so wet.”

you feel his hands make way to your thighs, his fingers digging into the skin there, “donghyuck..” you want to say more, but he’s already working on your core before you can get anything else out. you gasp, a sound of surprise leaving you and turning into a soft whine. he revels in it, wanting more and more out of you.

“so sweet, too,” he hums against you. the vibrations make you curl forward, suddenly aware of his cock that sat there painfully hard in front of you. two could play, you thought. when your hand shakily wraps around him, slowly going up and down, he groans against you and pulls away for a second. “fuck, okay.”

he quickly dives right back into your pussy when he feels you spit on his cock before licking up the base. he sighs, his tongue running along your folds before pressing into your clit. you moan as you suck on his tip, one of your hands gripping tightly onto his thigh while the other is wrapped around his dick. he’s heavy and hot on your tongue, but it’s so hard to focus when hyuck begins to moan against you and dip his tongue inside of you, curling it to reach a certain spot.

“hyuck,” you call out his name, and his ears perk up at the sweet sound. he works his tongue against you faster and your hips buck against him, wanting more.

“such a sweet, pretty cunt.” his words make you take him back into your mouth as far as you can go, slightly gagging around him. he lets out a choked groan, the sound going straight through you as his tongue continuously curls inside of you. it feels so fucking good, your mind turning hazy as you try your best to bob your head and stay focused on him. when you pull back from his cock, a string of saliva attaches there between your lips and you let out a loud moan of his name when you feel him press his fingers against your clit. you lazily jerk him off, your head resting against his thigh.

“fuck, fuck. hyuck, you’re so good, feels so good.” he hums, speeding up again and making you start to grind down against his tongue and fingers. you swirl your tongue around the head of his cock and moan, the vibrations making him buck his own hips into your mouth.

“shit,” he curses, “just like that, baby.” he feels as you start to speed up your own ministrations, bobbing your head quicker and wrapping your hand around what you can’t reach. “my pretty girl, fuck.” his voice was trailing away from him, making him go right back to tongue fucking you. you were so, so close. you could almost taste it.

“hyuck i..” you pull away from his cock, but your hand doesn’t stop its fast pace on him, “i’m gonna cum, shit, you’re gonna make me cum.” the hand that wasn’t rapidly jerking him off was still clutching desperately onto his thigh, and you were sure you left some kind of bruise there and some scratches. but he didn’t seem to mind as he hummed against you, encouraging you to cum.

“cum for me,” he licks you and his fingers pick up pace on your clit, making you wail out a cry, “cum on my tongue, let me taste my sweet girl.”

your hand tightens around his cock, making him hiss as you let out a string of moans and cries, your orgasm washing over you. he can’t help himself from cumming with you, the sounds you make being enough to set him off. you feel as some of his cum spurts onto your hand and even a little on your shoulder. and he licks you clean while groaning against you, helping you ride it out as you wildly buck your hips against his face. he thinks it’s the prettiest sight he has ever had the pleasure of seeing. he continues to lick you clean, and you have to swat his head away for him to stop after slowing your hand down on his dick. you roll off of him, your legs giving out on you as you lay next to him.

“you’re so pretty fucked out,” he comments, looking at you like you carry heaven in your eyes.

you laugh breathlessly, “thanks.” you lick your lips, tasting the small sheen of sweat, “you too.”

a light dust of pink spread on his cheeks, “you’re covered in my cum.”

“you’re covered in mine.” you spit back, and he laughs.

“we should clean up.” his voice is soft, and so are his eyes. his hooded lids trail across your body, admiring you once again. even when you look like a mess, he still thinks you’re the most beautiful girl to exist.

“yeah,” you agree, “shower?”

“please?” he whines, making you chuckle and nod your head.

the shower is mostly quiet, no words exchanged as the both of you clean one another off. there’s no hidden meaning this time, and it’s not rushed. you want this moment to last forever. there was no fighting, no heavy tension, and the moment wasn’t complicating like the rest. it was silent, but it wasn’t suffocating. and you could only wish for more moments like these.

the two of you wrap up in one another’s arms for the night, letting tomorrow worry for itself for the night.

you felt like you were on fire, your body burning as you catch sight of donghyuck. he was on campus on time for the first time in awhile, and it made you swim with curiosity as you start to approach him. he didn’t seem to notice you yet, eyes trained on his phone with a bored expression. when you reach him, he looks up with wide eyes, like he wasn’t expecting you. you hadn’t seen him in almost a whole entire week. you weren’t avoiding him, you just simply didn’t have the time to talk to him.

“what are you doing here? we don’t have classes together,” you pointedly ask him, eyes almost narrowing in his direction.

“come with me,” he cheekily smiles at you, like you’re really about to follow after him.

“no.” your answer is so simple, and he pouts at you.

“why? i promise it’s good.” he tries to persuade you, looking at you with a certain look in his eyes. and you hate that look, because you normally always fall for it. he was going to tear you down one day.

you feel irritation looking at him, “i have to study.” your tone was quite cold, and he seemed to catch on.

his eyes scatter around the building, “just this once.”

you roll your eyes, “no. if you want to head to the library with me, you can. but i’m not going anywhere with you.”

donghyuck stands for a minute, considering your words before finally shrugging his shoulders, “alright then. let’s go.” he smiles as you look at him blankly before finally starting to walk towards the library. you weren’t sure what he had up his sleeve, but he seemed too content for your comfort. he noticed your slightly tense shoulders, but said nothing. he just softly hums to himself, hands in his pockets as the both of you walk.

when you enter the library, you send him a look of warning to keep quiet. he just smiles like usual, making you even more uneasy. donghyuck was in no way innocent, and you knew this. maybe you shouldn’t have invited him knowing this, but a small shameful part of you was curious what he had in store for you. donghyuck would never go to the library voluntarily without having something else planned.

you walk to the back, somewhere quiet without many people. you preferred this spot over anywhere else, and suddenly you’re aware of how intimiate this all seems. you place yourself in the seat, and he makes sure to sit as close to you as possible. you huff, bringing out your books quietly and trying to ignore his presence. you had no plans of giving him the satisfaction of your attention. your mind plays several past events with donghyuck, unable to pay attention to your studies as you’re well aware of his cologne scenting up the air. you want to hate him for how much he has consumed your brain, but you can’t seem to focus on that as he lightly places a hand on your knee.

now you know what he wants.

your eyes shoot him a glare, silently telling him to knock it off. he doesn’t seem to listen as he smirks to himself, looking at your lips. you can’t seem to deny the intriguing feeling you get as he runs his hand up higher to your thigh. you can feel his thumb rubbing in circles, practically burning holes in your clothes. you break eye contact, hands hastily clutching onto the book in front of you. but you never once tell him directly to stop, and he takes it as a sign to continue. it fills his pride, and you know it does. you curse to yourself in your head. you shouldn’t be giving him what he wants so quickly. but you can’t help yourself from slightly spreading your legs when his hand inches higher and higher before finally hovering over the button on your jeans. he watches your face, licking his lips as he imagines kissing them to distract you. his hand is hot against you, making you slightly squirm.

he lowers his face to your ear, “can you be quiet?” his tone is teasing, and you immediately want to slap him. but you also desperately want him to finger you.

you’re suddenly aware of where you are, looking around with panic, “here?” you ask back in a hushed whisper before looking at him. he was really close to you, you could practically taste the mint of the gum in his mouth.

his lips quick up, “i asked you to go somewhere else earlier, but you refused.” he lightly kisses your cheek, his fingers starting to move again and make work on your button and zipper, “so i’ll just have to finger fuck you here, hm?”

you look at him with soft eyes, and he admires you for a minute. you weren’t normally obedient towards him, always having to argue against him. but you couldn’t seem to stop the soft nod of your head as you spread your legs wider for him. he’s almost just as surprised as you, but neither of you say anything. his hand makes its way inside your jeans, cupping your heat over your panties. he watches as your tense shoulders start to sag and you ease into his touch, it fuels his ego. he hears the soft sigh you let out when he presses his fingers against your clit, rubbing in agonizingly slow circles. you direct your gaze back to the book in front of you, trying not to look too obvious. your hands are tightly clutching onto the ends, your fingers turning cold from the lack of blood. hyuck softly chuckles, watching you closely.

“you’re so cute,” he presses his fingers harder and starts moving quicker, “and you’re getting so wet, soaking your panties.”

your walls flutter against your own judgement, and you don’t say anything as he whispers soft dirty words in your ear. you gasp when he finally moves his hand inside your panties, fingers making direct contact with your wet pussy. he swirls his fingers around your hole, spreading the wetness along his fingers. he watches as your breathing becomes heavier, but he really wants to watch you try to keep your composure. he slowly inserts one of his fingers inside of you, and he watches as your eyes start to flutter shut.

“dripping cunt,” he leans closer to you, nipping at your ear softly, “so snug around my fingers. i wonder how tight you’ll be around my cock.”

you bite at your lower lip to prevent any noise coming from you as he inserts another finger inside you, pumping too slowly for your liking. donghyuck licks his lips again, enjoying the sight of you and feeling your body starting to heat up. his cock was becoming hard just watching you.

“faster,” you huff out, sounded quite breathless. you didn’t want to sound so effected by him, but it was getting harder and harder. “please..” you plead him so quietly, he was almost unsure if he heard you right. but when you look at him with hooded eyes, he knows he heard right.

he can’t seem to deny you, moving his fingers at a faster pace. the slight constriction of your jeans makes his palm rut against your clit, causing extra stimulation and making you shudder. he watches as your body reacts so perfectly to him. how could someone look so pretty? he was truly lucky that no one was around, because they’d definitely know what was happening from the way hyuck was staring at you right now. when hyuck curls his fingers upward with each harsh thrust, you let out a soft sound and immediately cover your mouth with your hand.

“feel good, baby?” he asks, looking at you with sickeningly sweet eyes. “you like my fingers inside you? inside your pretty pussy? i can feel just how wet and tight you are.”

you sigh, closing your eyes as your mind turns hazy from pleasure, “hyuck.” his name sounds so pretty and beautiful coming from you, even in a soft whisper. he finds himself completely whipped for you in that moment. he wants nothing than to please you.

“yes, angel? what does my baby need?” his voice is low and raspy in your ear, making you clench around his fingers.

“wanna cum,” you open your eyes and look at him while removing the hand from your mouth, your lips almost touching his. he swallows at the sight of you so fucked out from just his fingers. “let me cum, make me cum. please.”

he nods his head quickly, “anything for my pretty girl, anything.” he kisses your temple as you face the direction of your book again, nowhere near focused on it. he hears the soft whimper you make when he picks up his pace more, curling his fingers and making sure to rut his palm against your throbbing clit. it feels so good, he knows exactly what to do. and you find yourself becoming achingly close to your release, one of your hands reaching down to grab onto his thigh. your nails dig into his skin, and he watches with awe, admiring you like you’re the most beautiful creature to exist on earth. and he thinks you are. he imagines your nails digging into his arms and back as he makes you cum on his cock, but that’ll be for another time.

“i’m so.. close,” you whisper, your eyes squinting shut as your hips twitch.

“cum for me,” he urges you, “cum around my fingers, princess. right in this library where anyone can see.”

you shudder, your body seeming to comply to his words. your nails press into his skin so harshly, he’s almost afraid you’ll draw blood from his thigh. but he doesn’t care as he hears you utter out a soft whimper of his name, cumming right around his fingers and completely falling apart. he sees as you struggle to keep quiet, opting to rest your head on his shoulder while you nuzzle your face into his neck. he can hear your little whines so clearly and feel your breath there. it makes him swell with pride that you’re in this state all because of him. he works you through your pleasant high until your tugging at his hand and pulling it out of your pants.

“fuck,” you sigh, buttoning and zipping up your pants as quick as you can. “i hate that you just did that.” your tone is so harsh but it doesn’t effect him in the slightly. he just pops his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweetness.

he hums as he releases his fingers, “you taste so good.”

you hush him, hitting him lightly on the shoulder and looking away from him. you look at your abandoned book that you dropped on the table while in the middle of getting absolutely finger fucked by your ‘best friend’. you huff, still unsure if you even considered him as a friend after everything. you hated him, but you didn’t. it made you almost uneasy, but you try your best to hide it as you look back at the boy next to you. he runs a hand through his hair, looking at you curiously.

“i have classes,” you state simply, gathering your books and placing everything in your bag. he watches you with a raised eyebrow.

“that’s it?” he asks.

you furrow your eyebrows, “i have classes. i’m not skipping them.”

“i’m so hard right now, though.” he whines a little too loudly.

your eyes go wide, placing a hand over his mouth, “god, shut up!” you hurriedly whisper, “take care of it yourself, i didn’t ask you to finger me.”

“you loved it, though.” he smiles cheekily again as you remove your hand from his face.

you roll your eyes, “bye, donghyuck.”

he watches as you walk out, his cock hard and his heart suddenly feeling empty. a part of him wanted more than that. not just sex-wise, but he wanted you completely and wholly. he sits back in his seat, sighing to himself. he really wasn’t sure how else to exert his feelings towards you other than this.

he really fucked himself this time.

your eyelids were heavy, and your head was pounding. you were inevitably tired, completely exhausted. walking out of your last class of the day, you’re greeted with a bright smile and gleaming eyes from the man himself, lee donghyuck. over the course of the month, the two of you starting hanging around each other more and more. but it was never casual, always leading to something ‘more’. you assumed this was what others called friends with benefits, but you were still on the fence of calling him your friend. you really shouldn’t feel that way, but you couldn’t help it. you guessed for now, donghyuck was just someone you were fucking around with. you haven’t had actual sex yet, but you assumed it would come sooner or later. the thought crossed your mind several times, but it never came up with him. you weren’t complaining too much, though. he could eat pussy like a god and finger you well enough, and you didn’t mind sucking him off and giving him handjobs.

donghyuck, on other hand, was internally struggling and you had no idea. he was slowly dying on the inside. donghyuck wanted more out of you, but he had no way of asking properly. he had no way of addressing anything to you. he always had a hard time putting his feelings on the line, especially when it came to you. the both of you were never really like that. it was always a simple exchange, never being too intense or filled with too much emotion. he saw you as distant, or simply in another world in your own head. he wanted to be apart of your world. he wanted to be your world. but he had no idea how to be. and you’ll probably never know that.

“how was class?” donghyuck nods at you, greeting you easily like he wasn’t freaking out inside. you don’t notice any different.

“fine.” you sigh out, eyes tiredly gazing at him. he seems the way you barely keep them open, pouting at you.

“you didn’t get enough sleep, did you?” he sounds concerned, but you brush it off.

“no,” you pause for a second, adjusting the strap of your bag so it’s over your shoulder with more ease, “i was up studying most the night. time got away from me so easily.” you sounded so exhausted, he was almost worried. oh hell, he was worried. he knew he was worried for you.

“wanna cuddle and sleep?” he raises an eyebrow at you, the question sound too inviting to you.

you look at him curiously, before slowly nodding your head, “i’m so tired.”

hyuck grins from ear to ear at you agreeing, “my place or yours?”

“yours,” you answer quickly, “my neighbors suck, i barely sleep there.” you grumbled with a sour expression, and he chuckles at your cute tone.

“that sucks,” he says, walking along your side as you both make it to his car. he opens the door for you, just like he did this morning. donghyuck was now giving you rides to and from college, being way too doting but you don’t complain or make objections. he was grateful for it, and so were you.

as he situates himself in the car after helping you in, he drives away with ease. you watch as he becomes focused on the road, his occasional furrowed eyebrows as he silently becomes angered by the drivers around him. it was actually quite endearing, and you liked watching him so closely. you assumed he didn’t notice or mind, but in reality he was way too aware of your eyes. they were burning into his skin and a part of him loved it way too much, and the other part wished you would look away from him. he could feel his neck and ears starting to get hot, but he tries to brush off the feeling of your eyes on him. he sighs when he finally reaches his apartment complex, looking over at you as he parks the car.

“let’s get you rested,” hyuck smiles brightly at you, and you notice a soft dust of pink across his cheeks but you don’t say anything.

“can’t wait,” you yawn, stretching out your arms as donghyuck makes his way out the car and to your door. he holds his hand out for you to take, and you look at him gratefully. his palm feels so warm in your own as you take it in your own, feeling just how soft it really was. his slender fingers wrap around your hand, and you feel almost flustered. when he lets go of your hand, you almost want him to keep holding onto you. you shake off the feeling immediately.

walking to his apartment was quiet, but for once it was comfortable. it wasn’t a suffocating silence like most times between the two of you nowadays. it felt nice being able to be around him like this for the first time in awhile. when you make it to his door, he opens it for you and waits for you to walk in first, holding his arms out in gesture for you to walk in. he has a bright smile on his face, like usual. you start to find it more and more charming as the days go by, and that develops a fear inside you. you wouldn’t be able to handle loving him. the thought alone made you more cautious and more anxious.

“do you want some of my clothes?” donghyuck closes his front door, taking off his shoes with you as the two of you make it to his bedroom. you place your bag next to the bedroom door, another yawn escaping you.

you nod your head, “please?” you ask cutely, and he lowly chuckles.

“anything for you,” he smiles, handing you some of his clothes. you take them with a warm smile of your own, and he feels his heart start to flutter. when you start to strip in front of him, he raises an eyebrow as he watches you with a close eye. “right here?”

you roll your eyes, “it’s not something new for you to see, donghyuck.”

hyuck simply smirks to himself, watching you as you change. when you slip his shirt over your head, he finds it quite endearing. you look pretty in his clothes, and he decides he’ll offer you his clothes more often just to see you wear them. you don’t wear pants, simply slipping your own off and leaving you in panties and his shirt. he admires you like you’re a work of art, and he believes that you are. he moves closer to you, wrapping his arms around your body. you jump slightly, feeling his chest pressing into your back. when he starts to press soft kisses along your neck and up your jaw, you ease into his hold. he feels you slump into his chest, and watches as your eyes flutter close.

“too tired,” you groggily answer, and he laughs against your skin, making a shiver run down your spine.

“i’m not expecting anything,” he mutters, the vibrations traveling through your body, “i just wanted to kiss you.”

you hum, resting your head against his shoulder as you look over at him. he was incredibly close, you could feel his breath fanning your face. he looks at your lips, making you unconciously lick them. his own quirk into a small smile, before leaning over to press a soft kiss to your lips. this kiss feels so different, and it sends your mind swirling. there wasn’t a hidden intention, and his hands were soothingly rubbing your sides. his lips were so soft against your own, slowly kissing one another. it feels unfamiliar coming from him, but you were too tired to really do anything or think too much about it. it feels... good. you discover that you like kissing him like this. your mind feels floaty by the time the two of you part, looking into one another’s eyes as he rests his forehead against your own. he looks so pretty up close like that, and he can say the exact same for you.

“let’s get some rest,” he whispers, slowly pulling apart from you. you subconciously follow after him, your body suddenly drawn to him like a magnet and needing to be near him. when he lays down, he opens the covers for you to slot yourself next to him. you ease into him so easily, and it feels more comfortable than normal. it feels less out of the ordinary, and more like...home. resting in his arms, felt like a certain different type of home. the kind you never wanted to leave. but you don’t struggle against him, and you don’t try to escape that feeling for the time being.

donghyuck may have always been home to you.

“i don’t get it,” you huff, eyebrows furrowing in the direction of the boy in front of you. he looks at you with nervous eyes, scanning your face and trying to read the room. he had no idea what you were thinking right now, and that terrified him. “i really just don’t get you. at all, donghyuck.”

hyuck lets out a breath of air, and he’s starting to feel the same way that you do. he didn’t exactly understand himself either. he was never sure where his feelings sparked up, or how they developed. the two of you sat together on his couch, in the middle of kissing before donghyuck abruptly pulled apart from you with wavering eyes. you tried to ask him what was wrong, but he just shook his head. you wanted to know what was wrong, but you knew he most likely wouldn’t say. you never opened up, so you didn’t expect him to either. the two of you were stuck in that cycle.

“sorry,” he mumbles, slowly shuffling away from you.

there’s a strong silence being created in the air as the minutes go by. you weren’t sure how to go from there. your mind was starting to flood with possibilities of the way your current relationship with donghyuck would go. you stare at his features, watching as his jaw starts to tighten under your gaze. his eyes fall onto his hands that are fiddling with the ends of his shorts, and he only lightly licks his lips. he can taste the excess of your chapstick, making him frown. it truly pained him, because he wished your kisses were out of love, and not out of lust.

“don’t be,” you say quietly, still inspecting him from your seat. he looks at you briefly with a small smile before looking away again. his eyes were almost empty, and it made you start to worry. “tell me what’s wrong.”

“nothing,” he tries to assure you with a smile again, looking you in the eyes again, but maintaining eye contact this time. you frown at him this time, knowing that’s not true. you didn’t want to force him into talking, but it bothered you that he was struggling and not saying anything to you.

you were completely unaware it was about you.

you didn’t know what to do. you felt like you were stuck, frozen in place. you ease into your spot on his couch, sitting criss cross next to him. donghyuck returns to his gaze on his lap, his fingers now intertwined with one another. he screwed up, he really screwed this up. if only he wasn’t so hesitant about everything that involved you, maybe he could ease up again. but he realized that would never be the case. for as long as you were around, he wasn’t going to be able to escape this feeling. everything about you seemed to drive him crazy. the way you would laugh, the way your chapstick stained his lips after kissing, the way you smelled like his own version of home. no matter what, he was convinced you would have always been a big part of his life. a huge part of him was grateful to have met you. he would never feel like he deserved you after everything, and a strong part of him felt sorry. he will never understand why you stayed for so long, but he truly wouldn’t be able to thank you enough.

donghyuck looks at you again, seeing how you sit patiently next to him. he then realizes that’s how it had always been. you waiting patiently for him while he figures his shit out. every single time, it had been you. his eyes well up suddenly while you sit, unaware of his current debate in his head. your eyes were scanning over your phone, scrolling through whatever app you were on. he admire the way the screen lights of your face, created a gleam in your eyes under the dim lighting of the room. you were beautiful like that, and he noticed the way you would scrunch your nose when you saw something you didn’t quite enjoy. he noticed the small twitch in your thumb as you pause to read something. he was noticing small details that you were probably unaware of. he found them endearing, all because they were you.

suddenly, hyuck slowly takes the phone out of your hand. you look at him with curious eyes as he turns it off, placing it on the coffee table and looking you deeply in the eyes. you feel your heart starting to pick up speed again. his stare was turning intense, making you want to scoot away from him almost, but you don’t. you stay put as he tries to figure out just what he wants to do. and donghyuck feels his own heart thumping against his chest. you would always be patient with him, he realizes.

“you mean the world to me.” it’s so abrupt, and you open your mouth slightly in shock as your eyes go wide. “i’ve discovered so much these past few months. and it’s not just because we created some kind of friends with benefits thing here, but i realized this was coming for a long time now.” his eyes never leave yours. “you’re always there. you’re always in the back of my mind no matter what. you’re the only person who has stuck by me through everything. you’re the only one who makes me feel this way, the only one who makes me question everything. you’ve made such a huge impact on my life, believe it or not. and i believe you will always be a huge part of me.” hyuck lightly grasps your hands in his, and you feel your body freeze in place, “i will never be able to get you out of my mind, because you are my home, i’ve discovered. you will always be home.”

time stands still. everything stands still. not much else mattered in that moment other than hyuck. he was staring you down, and you realize he was probably waiting on a reply. but you had no idea what to say after that. what were you supposed to say? you look him in the eyes, seeing the world in his honey brown eyes. donghyuck was in no way always good to you, you know this. your dynamic was actually quite toxic at some point. neither of you knew how to outwardly put your emotions on the line. but as you look at him in that very moment, you realize maybe hyuck was all you needed. you realized you would always end up caring for him, no matter what phases he goes through. and he knows this. he knows you will always be there, and he promises in his head that he will do the same for you now. you deserved that, at the very least.

you don’t say anything as you slowly lean forward to press a sweet kiss to his lips. he accepts you completely, the taste of your chapstick putting him under a spell. your hands leave his to trail along the nape of his neck, fingers lightly massaging his scalp in reassurance. he knows there probably wasn’t much you could have said in that moment, so he just kisses you back. he kisses you like he truly means it, and you can feel his emotions pouring out of him. his own hands grasp onto your hips, urging you to come forward onto his lap. the kiss remains slow and sweet, sending you into a frenzy. you weren’t used to kissing him like this, but you definitely weren’t complaining. it felt right. you knew this was right where you were supposed to be.

hyuck’s thumbs trace soothing circles into your hips as his hands lightly travel up under your shirt, but they don’t go anywhere. his hands are glued to the skin of your hips, sending a shiver down your spine when he lightly nips at your bottom lip. he smiles, before letting his tongue slip in your mouth. you let out a soft noise of approval, and he can’t seem to adore you any more than right now. he wishes he could stay like this forever.

when he pulls back, he sees the way your lips shine and your eyes glitter for him. he rests his forehead against yours after placing a soft kiss to your cheek, “i only need you.”

you softly smile, and he feels his stomach flip at the sight, “me too.”

he would not trade this, or you, for anything or anyone else.

you gasp for air, your back arching up as donghyuck works his fingers inside of you at a fast pace, his kisses marking along your neck, “feel good, baby? you’re so wet.” he hums in your ear.

you let out a strangled sound, “fuck, feels good. so good.”

he adores seeing you fall apart for him like this. you’re displayed so deliciously for him on his bed, and he wants to devour you. he curls his fingers up as your hands start to claw up his arms, indicating you were becoming close. you weren’t entirely sure how you ended up like this with him, but you felt too good to really care. your relationship with donghyuck was still undefined, but the two of you still haven’t stopped whatever the hell this was. you didn’t exactly mind, the air was less tense between the two of you at least.

hyuck bites your neck softly, teasing you, “gonna cum, princess? all over my fingers?” the moan you let out sounds like heaven to his ears, but for some reason, he wants to watch you suffer. maybe he was a bit cruel, because next thing you know, he’s withdrawing his fingers from your sopping core. you squirm below him and try closing your thighs together, only to be stopped by his body hovering over you. you whine, eyes shimmering under the light.

“what the fuck?” you ask, out of breath and clearly annoyed, “let me cum, hyuck, please.” he adored your begging, almost as much as he adored the way you said his name.

“you want to cum?” he tilts his head as he licks his fingers clean, your arousal covering them. you huff, throwing a small fit in front of him. he chuckles lowly in his throat, enjoying this side of you. “how about cumming on my dick then, hm?”

you lick your lips before nodding your head, “please?”

the way you beg for him makes his ego sky-rocket, his head feeling like it’s floating. the two of you haven’t fucked before, but the idea of his cock inside of you made you eager. you wanted all of him, and you could tell by the way hyuck quickly takes off his underwear that he wanted you too. you smile to yourself as he reaches for a condom, but you catch his hand before he can start looking. he looks at you with curious eyes.

“i’m on the pill, and you’re clean, right?” you ask, and he licks his lips before nodding at you.

“yeah, of course.”

“then you can cum inside me,” you bite your lower lip, staring at him with bright eyes.

he curses under his breath, “fuck.” he returns back to completely hovering over you, “are you sure?” he softly kisses you, trailing his sweet kisses down your cheek and jaw to your neck.

you smile in thought, “always.” your arms circle around his neck, softly tugging at his slightly long hair. he looks at you with adoration, before reaching down and slowly pushing his cock inside you. he stretches you out, making you gasp as you feel every single inch of him. “oh, fuck.” you sound strained, making him stop with worried eyes. you laugh a bit, “keep going, hyuck. please.” you sounded so out of breath.

he kisses your neck again, hissing at just how wet and hot and tight you were around his cock, “shit.” one of his hands grip onto your hip tightly, the other beside your head and clutching onto the sheets. your own hands were in his hair, tugging at his strands. “so tight, baby. you’re so fucking tight and warm, so snug around my cock. you were made for me.” he huffs, licking along your jaw before sucking there.

you let out a pleased sound, wiggling your hips as he bottoms out, “move, please. wanna feel you, want you to fuck me.” one of your hands travel down to his back, lightly pressing your nails into his skin as he immediately follows your request. you can feel the drag of his cock inside you, and you can’t deny just how good he feels. “oh god, hyuck.” your nails press just a bit harder, not enough to cause alarm.

“so good, baby.” he praises you, his own breath is being swept right out of his lungs as he feels you clench around him, “you’re doing so good, feels so fucking good.” he lets out a groan, his hips moving at such a steady rhythm. and while you love it, you want more. you need more.

“more, faster.” you kiss his shoulder as he nuzzles his nose against your cheek, “please, go faster, hyuck.”

and he can’t seem to deny you, speeding up the thrust of his hips. you can feel his cock hitting right against your sweet spot, making you arch your back up and press your chest to his. you let out a whine of his name, telling him to keep right there. he quickens his pace again, this time with his cock pushing right against where you need him most. and it feels so fucking good, making you throw your head back against the pillow with your eyes shut. he admires you, seeing just how pretty you look losing yourself on his cock.

“such a good girl,” he hushes, hearing the small mewl you let out at the praise. he chuckles, sweat starting to form on his body as he keeps up the fast pace of his hips. you were so tight around him, he was going to start losing his mind soon. you were clenching around his dick so much, and he knows you don’t mean to but, fuck, it was driving him insane. “baby..”

your nails press into him harder as a response, “wh- what?”

hyuck licks his lips, “look at me.” he kisses you on the lips, “please?” when you slowly start to open your eyes, you immediately want to roll them back in your head out of pleasure. “there’s my pretty girl. always my good girl.”

you let out a strangled moan, “please, wanna cum.”

“already?” he starts to thrust harder into you, your heat tightening around his cock again. “fuck, so fucking greedy for my cock. you wanna cum all over me, hm? all over my cock? make a mess?”

you whine out, “please! oh god, please, hyuck. wanna cum on your cock.”

his dick twitches, but he’s not quite there yet, “can you wait? just a bit longer?”

you shake your head, “no, please..”

hyuck licks his lips as you squint your eyes shut again, tears starting to brim there. he takes sight of you, admiring what he sees. “just a bit.. longer, baby.”

you try as hard as you can to hold it, but you gasp out as hyuck presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing fast circles against the bud, “hyuck! fuck, i’m cumming, i’m gonna cum, oh fuck fuck fuck.” you thrash underneath him, feeling as your high takes over your body and you clench sporadically around him, making him slow his thrusts down just a bit.

you don’t seem to register he’s still thrusting into you before you his from being overstimulated, “you just couldn’t hold it, could you, baby?”

you shake your head, one of your hands clawing up his back as the other tugs desperately onto his hair. he loves seeing you like this, watching as your eyes open back up again with small tears in them. he licks his lips, leaning down to kiss you quickly before thrusting into you at his previous pace again as his thumb continues to rub your clit. you cry out, nails digging into him.

“o- oh fuck! hyuck please, please..” you weren’t sure what you were begging for, but you’ve never felt so damn good before.

“can you cum again then, princess? can my baby cum on my cock for the second time?” his words feel so dirty, but sound so good coming from him. “hm?” he waits for a response while he fucks you like he won’t get to for a long time.

“yes, fuck, yes. i can.” your mouth releases the prettiest sounds, going straight to his cock as it twitches inside of you. you can tell he’s close from the way his hips stutter against you, and his thumb presses harder into your clit. his thrusts were becoming desperate, making you whine. “wanna cum on your cock again, hyuck. wanna feel you cum inside me, fill me up.” you’re so sensitive, but you want nothing more than to make him cum.

“fuck,” he lets out a loud groan, “cum for me, then, pretty girl. let me fill this pretty pussy up with my cum. make you mine.”

one last thrust, and you’re coming undone around him for the second time. the way you claw at his back and practically shout his name out sets him off, feeling your tight walls grasp onto his cock. and it feels so good, so fucking good. his cum shoots inside of you, warm and full. you gasp out as hyuck bites down onto your shoulder with a groan, riding out both of your highs.

“my baby,” he kisses the spot he bit, soothing it with his tongue after. you smile at the gesture, kissing the spot behind his ear.

hyuck only pulls back after a few minutes of staying like that, watching as some of his cum falls out of you. he grins at you, making you playfully roll your eyes. he hurriedly gets a rag, making sure to clean you up well before tossing you one of his shirts while he places his underwear back on. he offers you a pair of panties with a raise of his eyebrows, and you gracefully accept it. you always kept some of your clothes here just in case, and you’re suddenly aware of how close that makes you and him.

he climbs in with you, placing a blanket over the two of you, “i really can’t get enough of you, i hope you know that.”

you smile at him, “i can’t get enough of you either.”

and you knew the both of you were telling the truth.

the air was crisp, you could feel it in your lungs. your eyes travel towards the male beside you and see the small smile on his face as he feels your gaze. your hands stay intertwined together, like you were a sweet couple who couldn’t take being apart. the two of you walk hand in hand, and there’s nothing to fear in that moment. because you had him, and he had you. you lick your lips after some time, and hyuck turns his head to look at you.

“good?” he asks with a soft tilt to his head.

you nod back, “yeah, i’m good. you?”

he smiles at you, “with you? always.”

he turns his head to the path in front of him, still continuing to walk with your hand tightly in his. the two of you were walking back to his place from a local coffee shop. it feels surreal being around him like this, and not feeling a pang of hurt lingering there or a tinge of annoyance. it feels good, though. and you really could get used to this side of your relationship. you assumed he thought the same way from the small smile that wouldn’t leave his face ever since he first saw you this morning. you smile to yourself at the thought, and you feel hyuck start to swing your hands in the air. you giggle a bit, and he’s quick to place a kiss on the back of your hand with an endearing smile.

when you finally make it to his apartment building, the both of you walk in and head towards the elevator. you could feel the both of your palms starting to slightly sweat, but neither of you make a move to let go. as the two of you hear the ping to his floor, you make way to his door. he reluctantly pulls his hand away with a shy look, scuffling around to find his keys in his pockets. he unlocks the door, before pressing his back against it and making way for you to enter. you smile at him and place a kiss on his cheek as you walk in, the familiar scent and feeling of his apartment enveloping you in a warm hug. you welcome it, looking around.

“it always smells nice in here,” you state as he closes the door and locks it. he nods as he takes his shoes off, and you follow right after him to take your own off. “it smells like you.”

hyuck walks towards you with a pretty grin, “yeah?” his arms wrap around your waist, tugging you against him. your body fits perfectly against him, you decide.

“yeah,” you breathe, looking into his honey brown eyes. he was dreams and honey. you smile in thought, and he raises an eyebrow.

“what’re you think about?” he can’t help himself from kissing your own cheek, returning your earlier gesture when you walked in.

you accept him with open arms, your hands tangling in his long hair, “we really grew.” you pause as he waits for you to continue. you frown slightly, “i used to actually hate you.”

he nods, “i know.”

you figured he knew. you stand silently as you look into his eyes. you feel as if you can see the entire universe in them, and you decide then that maybe you didn’t hate him back then.

“no,” you start, and he looks at you with a curious look, “i think i just wanted to believe i hated you. it was easier than admitting that you hurt me back then.” you lean into him further, and you can feel his thumbs rubbing your back in soothing circles. “we both had a lot of faults.”

“i had the most,” he snorts.

you shake your head, “quit that. it doesn’t matter right now, does it?”

he stares at you and shakes his head back, “definitely not.”

“if i’m honest,” you talk in almost a hushed whisper, “i believe you’re all i want, all i need. always have been.”

he rests his forehead against yours and glances slowly across your features, capturing you in his mind forever, “i only need you and only want you, too.”

you smile to yourself, before leaning in and finally kissing him on the lips. you can still taste the soft tinge of coffee on his lips, and you find comfort in it as he kisses you softly, slowly. there’s no rush in the way he kisses you. his hands burn into your skin as they travel beneath your shirt, needing to feel your skin on his. you realize then that you would do anything for the man in front of you. you would travel the ends of the earth, if it meant having him like this for the rest of your life. he was your solace at the end of it all, and you knew that now. there was no more denying him, no more denying how you felt or where the both of you stood. there were no more lines in your relationship, there were no more barriers. i was just...this. it was just you, and him. and you were more than okay with that.

when he pulls away from the kiss with biting your lip, you huff out a breath of air. donghyuck decides that you are the most beautiful human to grace the earth. he felt like he was floating in heaven right now, his head swimming and his heart soaring. he watches as your eyes flutter open, and he can feel the heat in your skin as he trails his hands along your back in a comforting manner. it was his way of showing he cared, and you knew this. you could feel the soft drag of his nails in your back, making you smile a bit from the ticklish feeling. he smiles back, adoring the way you look right now.

there were so many ways you could have left him. so many opportunities. but as you stare him in the eyes, you know you made the right choice this time. there was no more being unsure, this was right. you knew this was right. you don’t regret this one bit.

donghyuck looks at you for a bit longer, before uttering out his nexts words, “i love you.” you can see the stars in his eyes, and if you’re honest, it felt like love. it was you and him, against the world.

“i love you, too.”

he grins before pulling you back in for another long kiss. the words were music to his ears, and he wished to repeat them to you for as long as he could live. the world went quiet for the time being, not a single thing distracting either of you from one another. it was like everything was falling into place, the beats starting to make sense again. you sigh into the kiss, feeling at ease in the arms of the honey eyed boy in front of you.

he pulls back slowly, “don’t worry,” his eyes sparkle a bit, “i’m right here.”

and you were convinced that was all you needed for now.

so may you find in each other what you came here for. and trust that this is love because it is (love is trust). and tangled lives you may lead but into each other, never apart, till you can’t distinguish between being and being together.

a/n: please give this a lot of love! i worked really hard on this one, and it’s my longest fic i’ve written so far. i hope you all enjoy it! thank you so much for reading :)

[midday0nightmares]

31 - a week later.

Previous chapter a rat.

m.list.

warnings: this series contains themes of yandere\mafia, blood, violence, mental health, drugs, non-con.

author note: this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

3 days after.

“Jeno .. can I ask you something?” 

“Sure” he replied,

 jeno too has changed, he has become more caring towards you like he was stepping to fill jaemins place, while jaemin was occupied.

Jeno was more controlled, he didn’t show much, if you didn’t know what had happen you would have believed everything was fine.

“What’s gonna happen to me if..? You know” ,

you leave the questions unfinished, but jeno understands what you wanted to ask.

His mouth opens to speak but closes shut again, he takes a minute to think before he answers “I don’t know”.

His honesty although appreciated didn’t help at all.

 “but, I will do my best to make sure you’er taking care of” he reach to hold your hand over the table, gently squeezing it to reassure you.

.

.

.

5 days after.

You saw less and less of jaemin.

The stress of it all was getting to you too, you were agitated.. you blamed it all on jeno.

“Why don’t you just confess?”, 

your question was loaded with hostility.

He looked at you, a desperate look on his face, he told you over and over but still he tells you again,

”it’s complicated sera”.

You scoff, his answer seemed more like an excuse than a genuine answer. “what’s complicated? You did it, you are the one who should be facing life in prison not him” you pointed at jaemin’s closed door.

He exhales, his eyes close “you don’t know what you’er talking about”.

“You killed him!” You contain to argue but he gets up and leave, ending the conversation.

Tears of anger pooled in your eyes, this is another level of injustice. 

.

.

.

6 days after.

You were quietly munching on your cereal, jeno sat across form you sipping on his bitter coffee.

The mood was tense, unstable.

The neglected tv flashed a breaking news strip that caught your attention, it was about the murder in a diplomatic’s son house, “turn the volume up” you ushered jeno.

“.. it has been determined that the leased apartment falls under diplomatic amenity and no further investigations could be carried” 

You looked at jeno, “dose it mean that they’er closing the case?” You asked, carful not to get your hopes up, he remind quiet for a minute before he nods “ yup, I guess they are”.

You jumped out of your seat, squealing with happiness “yes! Yess thank god” you grabbed his arm to share the joy but he didn’t move.

He wasn’t happy, nor relieved.. he didn’t seems to feel any thing.

You top your small celebration, “what?” You asked.

“Nothing” he stood up ready to leave, “clean up when you’er done”.

he leaves you to your wild thoughts to run the worst case scenarios. 

.

.

.

Today

The week slowly rolled over with much tension and uncertainty, jaemin has been called to the police station couple more times, you swear each time he comes back, he has aged years.

You wanted to be by his side but he didn’t even look at you when you tried to call him this morning, if he’s not out then he’s locking himself in his room. you tried knocking on his door, to get him to at least eat a proper meal but he didn’t answer. Each attempt has been met with either complete silence or a sharp temper, he would lash at you then quickly apologize.

This is not how you wanted your first semester to begin, you attended the first week of your online classes but you couldn’t really focus on what has been said, not with a disaster hanging above your head ready to drop at any minute.

And as much as you wanted to blame it all on jeno, you couldn’t anymore. The case is closed, but why is jaemin still being investigated? Could it be because of you? Did the police knew you were taken? Was it your fault?.. you tossed and turned in your bed, it felt cold and empty without him, you missed him so much. After a long string of pillow thoughts, slumber finally took mercy over you.

“y\n..” 

An unfamiliar voice calls your name.

“y\n” 

the whisper gets louder, your body tip over and fall off of an edge to an endless darkness.. you jerk out of the nightmare, drenched in sweat and gasping for air.

You clam yourself and push the heavy covers off of you, dragging your feet to the kitchen for some water, you don’t bother turning the lights on, you open the fridge door and take a bottle. The icy water clears the clouds in your mind only for the grim reality to take its place, jaemin might be taken away.. you dwell on the scary thought. 

You turn your head to see the lights of jaemins room were on, your heart clinches, he’s still awake at this ungodly hour.

Opting not bother him, you head back to your lonely bed, but the dark figure in the balcony almost gave you a heart attack.

You recognize the man, it’s jaemin.. his tall figure was standing in the dark, the phone was pressed to his ear, his demeanor was agitated, shifting his weight form one foot to the other, you couldn’t hear anything but you can tell he wasn’t happy.

You turn to see if jeno was in his room, his lights were off and his shoes were by the door. you always had the impression that they were close, partners in crime. they did all their nasty work together, but why is it only jaemin who is in this mess right now?.

“You can’t be serious !” 

Jaemin’s loud voice comes clear through the thick glass, his hand running through his hair seemingly wanting to rip it from the roots out of frustration. You can tell he was angry, desperate.. he keeps shouting but you can’t make out what he was saying. you step closer, as close as you can without being seen by him, you try to decipher his muffled voice,

 “I am your son! Your only son” 

you’er not sure if that’s what he said.. 

He speaks in a lower voice before he removes the phone from his ear, ending the call. He punches the wall next to him, he was beyond pissed.

You move to hide behind the curtain to avid angering him more, he opens the door and steps inside slamming the glass door behind him.

“I can see you” he deadpan says in the dark, since there’s no one other than you, he must be talking to you and you make the quick decision of coming out before he losses his temper. 

“Im sorry, I had a nightmare and I got up to drink wa..” You try to explain yourself but he waves his hand with not much care “Yeah yeah” and you stop talking.. he walks to his room, the dull city lights illuminating his backside, his shoulders were slumped, his back hunched with heavy burden, the sight of him broken made your heart twist inside your ribcage.

“Jaemin” you call him without a plane, he stops and looks at you, “Are you okay?”, stupid question.. 

Although it’s dark, you can feel his eyes burning holes into your face.

“Do I look okay?” He retorts,

You answered him with a small “no”

he turns to walk to his room but you speak again, “I can help you if you tell me what wrong”, bold statement.

He stops again and heavy sighs, your heart thumbs in your chest as you wait for him to speak, but all you get was a scoff, “why don’t you just know your place huh?” he asks with much condecindence, although you know he didn’t mean it, his words still hurts. 

“Just stay out of my way, you have done enough already” he adds more sharp words, twisting the planted knife in your heart.

“I just wanted to help you and be here for you” your voice breaks and you hate yourself for it, but you chock and the tears starts to gather in your eyes, he huffs and looks up to the ceiling, impatiently waiting for you to recompose yourself. But his cold nonchalant demeanor triggers more eruptions inside of you.

 the words escapes your mouth before you have thought of them.. “all I wanted was to help you, but you keep me away form you! you don’t tell me anything, no one is telling me anything! I don’t know what is happing or if I will see you when wake up the next day” you rant through the sobs, your voice getting louder and louder, and when he was fed up with you he shuts you down with a loud scream “shut up”.

 Jeno comes out of his room, bewildered and alert.. he stands in the background watching the fight evolves.

“You are not my girlfriend” he walks towards you, making you feel small and insignificant, “I don’t own you anything” his tall stature looms over your short one, that cuts deep. 

you look at him, you stare into his eyes, challenging him to take what he said back but he doesn’t.

“Yeah?” Your voice barely comes out, “fine then I guess I have no reason to stay here anymore”. you turn and stomp to where your bed is to collect your few belongings, he follows behind, his steps shaking the ground beneath you.

“where the fuck do you think you’er doing?” He asks but you ignore him, more so you couldn’t speak due to the choking knot in your throat, but your lack or response angers him even more, he grabs your arm and turns you around with much force, that it almost dislocates your shoulder, you whimper at the pain but he doesn’t care, his grip tightening even more, his eyes glazed with a dark, sinister layer.

“Jaemin!” Jeno warns, but it does nothing as another screaming match breaks between you, with him asking you the same question, not really waiting for an answer, and you shouting whatever comes to your mind first, curses, accusation, anything to hurt him. you don’t know who started it first but hands were being thrown, jeno was trying to break you apart, but  eventually, jaemin overpowered you and threw you over his shoulder like a rag doll, your kicking and screaming did nothing against him.

 “Jaemin” jeno shouted at his friend who was in a trance, muttering the filthiest insults under his breath.

“Where are you going? Jaemin!” jeno tries to reason with him. at this point jaemin was like a robot, marching to his room, he kicks the door to his bedroom open, he slams you to his bed, knocking the wind out of you. 

“Jaemin! Calm down” jeno was trying to stop whatever jaemin was doing, he kneels and opens his safe, jeno’s voice getting louder, you were paralyzed with fear everything is happing so fast for your brain to form a response.

Jeno was trying to pry jaemin’s hands out of the safe, “come on! don’t do something you’ll regret”, jeno was almost begging him to stop.

jaemin finally broke out of his trance and turned to jeno “get out!”,

but jeno stood in his place like a pillar, his presence seems to clam jaemin, he takes a deep breath and pushes his hair back “I know what im doing” he speaks calmly this time before he turns back to you, you swallow the thick knot “jaemin please..” pleadings to spare your life were timid but loud enough to be heard, your body crawls as far away from him before the wall stops you.

He kneels down and reaches again inside the safe, for a second the time has stoped, everything moved in slow motion. 

He takes out a metal handcuffs out of the safe, the blood that was frozen in your vines moved again, you let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding.. jeno does the same “fuck..” he must have thought the same, he too believed jaemin was about to kill you.

Your limbs fell weak and cold due to the withdrawal of the adrenaline that filled your bloodstream, you feel sick, dizzy.

The bed dips under jaemin’s weight next to you, your head falls back into his soft pillows, aimless tears rolls down your temples, you give him your hands to cuff. you are worn out, you surrender.

He takes both of your arms and cuffs them to the headboard of his bed, your eyes meet, you don’t look away and neither does he. He looks down at you.. his eyes pours inside of your soul.

Dark circles beneath his eyes, dry lips, heavy eyelids but still, still handsome as ever. he leans down to kiss your watery eyes, “for my sanity sake” he whispers between the kisses.

He throws his covers over you, and turns the lights off before he leaves and close the door behind him. 

[katsukikitten]

WARNINGS: 18+ DUB CON/ NON CON? WEREWOLF BAKUGOU, THIS IS PURE FILTH JUST PURE SMUT 

You were never the best at running, especially not through the woods. So it is no surprise your heel snaps off causing you to trip over a small log. Your pelvis bone connects with the thick trunk, brushing your hip as your dress threatens to expose your underwear. 

A howl is heard in the distance paired with something moving through the brush at an ungodly speed, gaining on you much faster than you thought. 

"Fuck." You hiss to yourself, panting as branches seem to reach out. Their sharp, splintered claws grabbing at you and only catching your body con dress. Tearing it piece by piece, you are unsure if your faux bunny ears are still atop your head.It was unfathomable how wrong tonight had gone and how quickly. 

But then again it was Halloween and a full moon at that. They say the full moon has the power to make people act crazy and especially so on a blue moon.  Which made your panicked mind wander to the rumors about this town and what happens every blue moon. There were whispers of the older families having dark secrets. Fairy tales of beasts and mating but a second full moon in a month was so rare those murmurs and scoffs were supposed to be just that, rumors, stories. 

Not actual werewolves who couldn't control their urges during this magical event. The blue moon either filling them with unchecked rage or undeniable lust should they not take the necessary precautions. Although no one would say what exactly those precautions are. 

Your first hint about the rumors being true should have been the local news station. You thought it a Halloween prank when they advised women ages of 20 to 30 to remain indoors for tonight, to lock their windows and doors. To adorn their throats in silver to protect them from unwanted bonding. You had rolled your eyes as you got ready for your daily college classes, jumping into your black skinny jeans and blood red sweater.  

Your second hint should have been the absence of your good friend Kirishima. He always walked you to your English class since his history course was in the same building but this morning he was a no show. He didn't even respond to your texts last night asking if he wanted to go to a Halloween party with you. 

Your final hint should have been when the normally aloof, irritable and "untouchable of the big three" lab partner you had for biology growled in your direction. This would be the first thing he had said all semester.

"Don't go out tonight, got it extra?" His voice is clipped and he is acting strange, his left hand gripping onto his right forearm so harshly a bruise was beginning to bloom. You chalk it up to nerves for the upcoming exams. 

"Oh is someone gonna bite me like the news anchor said?" You giggle, turning your focus back on your work only for the professor to cancel class early. You pack your things as Bakugou sits rigid, still. He fixes you a harsh glare before he stands, pulling the strap of your purse causing you to become a little off balance.  His eyes dance over your frame, over your exposed neck but you do not notice, barely see his canines elongate as he snarls. 

"You'll wish that's all that they did." 

Looking back you wish you had noticed it before, then maybe you wouldn't be in the situation you were in now.

You burst through the trees and find yourself in a clearing. Here you would a sitting duck to whatever the hell was chasing you. Still not believing your eyes and you crossed paths with a giant wolf. Fur golden in the moon light and eyes a haunting, gut wrenching familiar red. It wasn't too long after that did it give chase. 

The howl behind you is too close for comfort as you barely have time to jump into a patch of briars and thick prickly bushes that sit on the edge of a creek. By some odd instinct you grab onto the ice cold mud and smear your arms and part of your neck with it, clenching your jaw so your teeth do not chatter. 

Suddenly a large beast bursts into the clearing, wet nose sniffing at the air and ground before it shifts in the clearing under the moonlight. It is a haunting sight. Bones snap and grind as features twist into grotesque angels until it finally forms into that handsome familiar face. The ash blonde fur retreats until it is only on the top of his head, faded beneath while the top looks finger brushed and wild. He is shirtless and his pants are torn from the calf down, the only beastly feature he keeps is the glow of his blood red eyes. You swallow, biting your lip to stop from shaking; this is not the Bakugou you knew. Not that you knew him that well in the first place but there was some power in having a crush. You had learned his mannerisms in the first year here at University, somehow always in a class with him, with one of the three legendary "heartthrobs" of the school. He was as hot headed as the rumors said and he was just as handsome if not more so. Itching for a fight and yet oddly quiet when in close proximity to you. An action you took to mean he either hated you or didn't even know you existed. 

So it's safe to say you're unfamiliar with this manic, wolfish grin. 

Feral incarnate. 

He sniffs the air. 

"Where are you little ooooonnne?" He calls cruelly, "I can smell you." 

His body goes through the motions of tensing and relaxing, another howl breaks through the eerie silence but this time much farther away. Bakugou's ears perk, his grin twisting in such a way it screams malice, unbridled rage and yet excitement. 

"You must be in your mortal heat. Guess I'm not the only one who can smell it. Didn't I tell you not to go out tonight?" His voice is dark, haunting as the wind catches down from you, carrying your scent away from him. 

"I knew your dumb ass would ignore me, I took a precaution to that and yet you didn't even bring your fucking purse?!" 

Your purse? 

Is that how that red cloth and weird silver dollar got into the bottom of your purse? 

Bakugou shifts his weight, giving his back to you as he prepares for something coming that you cannot hear. In the meantime you allow your eyes to study his physic, following his scarred back, broad shoulders all the way down to his deadly hands. One of his palms is burned in the shape of a perfect circle, you swallow thickly. The sound causes his ears to twitch and look over his shoulder, making eye contact with you through the brush. 

But he does not have time to react as a black furred beast with glowing ruby eyes jumps into the clearing. Sniffing the air wildly before baring his teeth towards Bakugou. The beast huffs and growls before finally shifting into his human form, a cold sweat settles in your bones. 

"Where the fuck is she?" You have never heard your friend use a tone so dark as Eijiro continues to pace, keeping his eyes glued to Bakugou. 

"Fuck off Kirishima, shes mine." 

"I don't see a bonding mark on her yet." Its more a feral growl than anything, "You said you didn't waste your time on mortals." 

"I fucking changed my mind. And you know why, her smell is…" He inhales deeply, testing to see how much of you can be sensed. The most he can tell is that you're close by but he cannot pinpoint you, he fights to keep his eyes from falling over his shoulders to see you. 

He's dying to know how you masked your scent without with an Alpha's pheromones or a silver piece. But that would have to wait, at least if he wanted to ensure it was his seed that stuffed you. He bites his lip, the thought sends a shiver down his spine. First he had to deal with Kirishima then he could take his time making you his. 

"Well you know how it is don't ya? Didn't know you were such a pervert, Eiji. Is that why you walked her to class? Hoping she'd make you her boyfriend or some sappy shit?" Bakugou taunts, head tilting in mock question, "Guess you can't hold back anymore can you? Dreaming about giving her your knot?" 

Kirishima bares his teeth, fighting the urge to buck at another Alpha, especially one he knows he will have to fight with full force. He opens his sharp toothed mouth to retort but yet another beast finds it's way into the clearing coming from the opposite of Kirishima but to the right of Bakugou. 

The beast looks wild, heterochromatic eyes glisten beneath the full moon as white and red fur clash all the way down his spine. A collar around his throat catches the light as a broken chain drags across the ground, there are shackles around his wrists and ankles as well. Bakugou smirks, adrenaline fueling his excitement over what is about to be a damn good fight. 

"You watchin little slut? Look at what your scent can do." He changes his stance into that of a fight, "You've got two normally non aggressive Aplahs ready to get their asses handed to them and for fucking what?"

The three of them shift their eyes and bodies this way and that before Bakugou licks his teeth.  

"God I can't wait to bury my face in that soaked pussy." He lunges, transforming mid leap into a hauntingly powerful wolf. His teeth are exposed, lip curled up in a snarl as his targets Kirishima first.  Kirishima barely shape shifts in time, pearly white teeth sink deep into his shoulder before gnashing at his throat. Deafening growls and yowling surround the clearing. Kirishima attempts to kick Bakugou off of him as they tumble closer to who you assume is Todoroki who bares his teeth. He launches himself at the other Alphas. His teeth find purchase in Bakugou's shoulder, blood staining white and blonde fur a like. There is no yelp or howl, just a stomach churning growl before Bakugou turns his attention towards the two toned wolf. Snapping his jaw as he attempts to get a grip on the chained wolf who dodges. Bakugou's teeth gleam with dripping crimson, a snarl of warning before he propels himself towards Todoroki. Sharp teeth bite at two toned fur as Shoto bares his teeth, growling, snapping his jaw at his opponent. Kirishima begins to get to his feet, limping as he avoid putting weight onto one of his front legs, crimson drips down onto the chilled dirt. He keeps his ruby red eyes on the two dancing wolves.

Bakugou strikes faster than Todoroki can dodge, and angry teeth clamp down at Todoroki's throat. The collar snaps from the force before Bakugou sinks his fangs deep into Todoroki's throat. 

An ear ringing yelp is heard as blood pools into Bakugou's stained muzzle, white fur marred in crimson as Todoroki begins to sway. As the hot head's jaw is locked onto tender flesh, Kirishima attacks. Biting at the nape of Bakugou's neck and yanking him from Todoroki with force, tossing him with ease. The light colored wolf flies into trees snapping the thick oaks as if they were twigs. Buying some time for the two injured wolves, any other alpha would have seen this as a win, knowing the two from rival families would retreat to lick their wounds. 

But Bakugou was no normal alpha. This gut clenching fight taught you as much. Todoroki struggles to keep consciousness, his throat dripping an insane amount of blood. He falls to his side huffing almost wheezing before he shifts back into human form, shackles shrinking to readjust to his wrists. Kirishima whines nudging at the unconscious, possibly dead man. All the while crimson red eyes peer through the unsettled dust before soaring through the air, landing on top of the black wolf. Pinning his back onto the ground as dark paws claw at bared teeth. Trying desperately to keep him at bay but with one fucked front paw it is a futile attempt. Quickly Bakugou overpowers him, sinking his teeth too deep into his friend's throat and keeping his muzzle there until the whining and yelping stops. Until he too shifts back to his human form. 

You fight to keep your own whimpering in, still hidden in the brush while you hoped, prayed that he somehow got disoriented. That he forgot where you were. 

His head snaps towards you, mouth dripping saliva and thick red blood. His eyes glow as his stalks closer. He stops just before the underbrush shifting back into that devilishly handsome face. He is soaked in blood, scratches line his face and chest. He wipes at his mouth but not once does his fist wipe away the cocky smile he holds. 

He scares you but what scares you most is how your body is reacting to such a gruesome sight. A muscular man dripping in sticky red, droplets tracing the outline of his abs and a smile of triumph as two people lie wounded, possibly dead behind him. It made your pussy throb, the strength, the raw need and want to win and for what? For you, for your essence and the promise of a futile womb. 

He can smell your fear as he yanks you from the bushes and thorns. 

"Don't worry, it's not my blood." He grins, pulling you closer to him as you try to push away. Just like you're trying to push away these odd feelings that swirl in your chest, in your stomach; of a weird pride and arousal. It was of no use, like pushing dead weight up a forty five degree hill, this too was a losing battle.  

"K..kirishima." Your eyes are glued to his unmoving body, causing a deep rage to form in Bakugou's chest. He grips your chin forcing you to look at him his other hand goes straight for your sex, cupping the underwear allowing his fingers to swipe over the damp fabric. 

"Don't you ever say his fucking name while you're wet for me. Got it?" His fingers are causing divots in your cheeks as you whimper from his contrasting touch. Harsh grip, soft strokes. As if reading your mind he takes a deep breath, not meaning to inhale so much of you.  

"They ain't dead, you're worth the trouble. But not that much trouble. Now focus on me." He let's go of you, drinking you in smirking when he sees your costume. Or what's left of it anyway. 

Thick irony that you would choose to be a bunny of all nights. He fingers the fake ears with earnest. 

"Fitting." He purrs before taking both of his hands to the front collar of your dress, ripping the fabric from your torso. He growls audibly mumbling to himself "Much better." As you stand with your tits exposed, your lacy underwear catching his attention beneath fishnet tights. He bites his bottom lip, pulling you to him as he buries his face into your tits. Nipping sucking and biting as he eases your buckling legs towards the ground. 

"Fuuuuck." He groans, pressing his cheek harshly against yours, trying to scent you as best he can without claiming you fully.  It's hard, fuck is it hard. It always has been, since his first class with you.  

You weren't a beta nor an omega. Hell you were of no wolf relation and yet you reeked, oozed of pheromones that drove him and apparently the others mad. He had tried to protect you, he really had, scenting a piece of an old t-shirt and even burning himself on silver. 

He wanted you, he needed you, his cock ached for you. Weeping now at your arousal making his canines ache with an even greater pain. 

But you were fucking mortal and he was betrothed. Technically all three of the aplahs in that clearing were betrothed to omegas.  It was evident your smell seduced them as well. 

He brings himself to your shoulder, biting hard enough to draw blood, claws, stuck halfway between human and wolf, rake down your back and ass making ribbons of the flesh. Still you moan and he occasionally swallows those whole as he kisses you. Letting you taste copper as his tongue placates yours, he subconsciously secretes soothing and lustful hormones and they are strong enough to make even you high. His hand finds your nipple and when you arch into him he loses his shit. Breaking the kiss to sniff you, nosing and biting until he finds that sweet spot. He opens his mouth, salivating at the thought as his teeth and cock beg for relief. He freezes, squeezing you to him for a moment. The action causes your ribs to creak in protest and yet you feel warm, safe. 

His mouth hovers over your pulse point, the salty sweet taste of you, breaths away from the exact spot he would need to sink his aching teeth into to make you his.  

In a quick motion and a test of will he shoves you onto your back, ripping at the fabric between your thighs after he forces your legs open. You do nothing to stop him, not that could. 

Not that you would.  

He slips his tongue between your folds and licks up, swirling the wet muscle when you buck against him. He hooks his arms around your legs gaining control over your hips and eats. 

See Bakugou is a glutton and he will not stop until he is satisfied. It would be a gift and a curse for you.  

He works his mouth against you thoroughly as the coil in your stomach snaps over and over again. Your hand fisting his hair as you cry out in hoarse gasps, legs shaking around his head, thighs squeezing his skull as he coaxes another high from you. 

Your entire body is shaking, worn out already from however long he sucked, nipped and lapped at your core. Finally he seemed to come up for air but only to watch your sex convulse. He looks up to you causing your heart to skip a beat. His hair is that much more wild, his intense gaze glowing red in the low light and his face glistens with your slick.

"Fuck!" You cry out, letting your head fall back into the ground. 

"What's wrong bunny? Can't handle a little head?" He shoves two fingers deeply into you making a come here motion. You ride another body quaking high as he tries to stretch you to accommodate him. His breathing becomes frantic, as he chases a smell you're emitting. Thrusting harshly into you as his other hand abusesyour clit until that deliciously addicting smell he's chasing crescendos. Your scream echoes in the woods as clear liquid shoots over Bakugou's forearms, all the while you held fluttering eye contact, practically melting in his hands. His fangs grow and he cannot hold himself back any longer. He shoves his pants all the way down, even off of his ankles as he sinks his lengthy girth into you in a snap of his hips. A mixture of pain and pleasure shoot through you like a live wire as you begin to mewl, needing him to move. 

"More, more." You whine, tears prick your eyes as he smiles a deadly smirk. 

"You're such a talkative cock sleeve. You want my knot that bad? Then take it." He thrusts into you setting a deep harsh pace. Alternating between quick succession and slow deep throats. Biting at the skin of your chest and shoulders, torturing you in such a way.  

Punishing you for being mortal. 

"Why?" It's a guttural growl as your mind is lost on another plane, "Why do you have to be mortal?" 

He emphasizes each word with a thrust of his hips earning him a lovely raspy moan from you.

"I want to...to fucking mark you.  Make you mine. The thought of any other alpha or even fucking human touching you…." His thoughts have him chasing two very dangerous highs, snapping his hips so he comes closer to your throat.  

"Please...please Bakugou." You whimpering encourages him. 

He breathes you in, tasting you without even a flicker of his tongue. Your arousal, your damp hair sticking to the column of your throat, the faint scent of your shampoo. 

Somehow he reigns himself in again. Teeth elongated enough they almost scrape your skin.  His breath comes out hot and heavy as you squirm beneath him for friction, wanting nothing more than to be filled. If he does this, if he makes you his mate, it would surely complicate everything. 

"You have to tell me you want it." He's panting, vulnerable as he looks at you, your heart shatters from the look. Deafening reason and logic as it screams how badly you want to be his and he yours. 

"Not just because it feels fucking good right now." His voice is husky, rasped as he fights the weight of his instincts, "Not because I'm fucking hot or a novelty to you mortals. If I mark you, you'll always feel something for me and vice versa. We'll be tethered and attracted to one another even if we fucking hate each other." 

Slowly you nod, again he grabs onto your chin, sliding it down to your throat as he squeezes. 

"This isn't some good acid trip, this isnt some fucking dream. You'll have to meet the elders. You'll have to deal with my ruts." Again he's panting, shaking from holding himself back, having half a mind to just kill you. Still you do not move away from his touch. 

"My jealousy. My rage. My need for territory control. I'll come home dripping in blood. I'll kill other Alpahs." He breathes your name in such a way you clench around him. He growls from the sensation. You struggle to speak beneath his grip, head floating but some how in the right spot. 

"I...I can handle it. Mark me Bakugou Katsuki. Fucking make me yours, fill me use me. Just…" He stares into your eyes until he can no longer take it. Pounding into you in a harsh pace, finally giving in  

"You'll take my knot like a good slut won't you?" His eyes watch you nod before they fall to your breasts. Watching them bounce from the force of his thrusts. His hips turn sloppy as your high builds again. You claw at his back and his smells your high as he tries to time it right. He sinks his teeth into your throat, keeping it just a hair above a marking. 

You feel a growing pressure as his tip stretches you even more until he finally sinks his teeth into you with a grown. His thrusts stuttering as hot ropes paint your walls. Your cunt flutters around it as all you can do is become limp in his grip. His arms are fully around you, his mouth still to your throat as he slowly eases up. His body giving off a bonding hormone so strong that even your moral senses can pick up on. It you drown in a high scented in spice caramel and heat.  He pants heavily, his arms shaking as he kisses you fiercely, teeth bumping into yours before he pulls back.

Weakly you claw at him to hold him as he whispers praises. He lifts you, pulling you towards his chest to keep you safe as you begin to drift. His mouth is pressed to your ear and you can hear the cocky smile in his voice. 

"Get some rest while you still can mate." His hand snakes around to your stomach, his fingers lightly caressing the skin.

"We aren't done until you're carrying my pups."

Tags

@katsukisprincess @avellanagamer100 @bakugotrashpanda my number one fan

[mrsgiovanna]

Crimson (Dhampir! Don Giorno x Wife! Reader)

Those of you who have been here for a while would have suffered through my intermittent constant ramblings about scenarios in which Giorno's vampiric tendencies start to awaken. To the nonnies who requested this, here you go my loves.

TW: Blood mentions

Word Count: 2.4k

The sunshine felt glorious on your skin as you lounged next to the pool while Giorno completed a few more laps in the water before he was set to join you. Something felt amiss as you watched him aggressively swim in the huge body of water like a caged shark, but you attributed it to him needing to work off some of the stress of leading Passione. Finally satisfied with his efforts, he emerged from the pool, water clinging to his body and dripping from his hair, he would have looked like Neptune incarnate if it wasn’t for the angry red sunburn marring his otherwise flawless form.

“Gio, your skin looks so inflamed, let me help you,” he walked right past you, prompting you to follow him into the house. “My love, are you alright? Let me at least put something on you to…”

“Stop faffing, I’ll be fine, I think I just need some rest, you can go back to what you were doing,” snapped Giorno, in a harsher tone than he intended, in fact, he didn’t mean to be as short with you at all, and grimaced at his words, but he needed to get away from there as soon as he possibly could to not alarm you as this isn’t the first time he has experienced this, although, it is the first time it has happened in front of you.

You tried to hide your dejection at his behavior, you pulled on an oversized shirt, went inside and decided to work on some of your reports in the sunroom instead. Upstairs, in the bathroom of the master bedroom, stood Giorno in front of the golden-framed mirror. Before his ruby-tainted eyes, his burns had healed without him consciously summoning his stand… was it done subconsciously? His question remained unanswered, looking himself in the eyes, he realized that they still bore a crimson tinge to them. Dismissing it to simple chemical irritation, he took a cool shower and mulled over his exchange with you, growing ever more remorseful of how he dismissed your concern. Getting rid of the last bit remnants of water from his hair, he set out to find you to and apologize for his behavior.

Finding you bundled in the corner of the sunroom, musing over a few documents, Giorno just stood at the entrance admiring your beauty. You looked so cute wearing his shirt, the concentration furrowing your delicate brows and placing a pout on your lips.

“Tesoro? May I speak to you?” his voice was gentle, a far cry from the way he sounded before. You looked up from the documents you were working on and offered him a strained smile.

“Gio, I thought you wanted to rest for a bit…”

“I did bella, but that’s not important right now… I’m sorry… for the way I acted before, you were just showing your concern and I behaved like an idiot. Please forgive me…” walking towards you, he seated himself next to you.

“Well, you were very mean to me, but I’ll forgive you just this once… only because you asked so nicely, next time it won’t be so easy for you Don Giovanna,” you said with a smirk, breaking into a small giggle when he grimaced at the epithet.

“Come here bella- nice shirt by the way, it looks very familiar…”

“Oh, it’s just something I found lying around… you know what they say, finders’ keepers,” with a gentle smile at your remark, he peppered your face with soft kisses and made sure you got comfortable on his lap, so he could hold you while you worked, his mind though, was preoccupied with the events that occurred of late.

In the next few days both you and Giorno were busy with your respective tasks, and as much as you wanted to dismiss his distant demeanor on how busy you both were, you knew that he was uncharacteristically withdrawn from you. Giving him the space he needed, you met his aloofness with your usual calm kindness. Needing to discuss a few work-related issues with Giorno, you decided to go see him rather than wait for him to come home.

“(y/n)- bella, this is a nice surprise. To what do I owe this pleasure?” he still had that charming velvety quality to his voice that made you feel, for a split second, like things were back to normal, but the strained way in which he kissed your cheek told you otherwise. He considered you for a moment, staring at you with his slightly reddened eyes.

“Are you wearing a new perfume?” inhaling the air around you sharply, he posed his question to you.

“No my love, it’s the same scent you like, the one I wear most often”

“Oh? You just smell so sweet, it’s wonderful,” Giorno’s words are muffled as he buries his nose into your neck and places a small kiss there, rigidly pulling away almost instantly, the red sheen becoming more pronounced in his eyes. Guarded, he stepped away from you and with a tense smile he completed what you needed from him.

“I’ll see you at home then,”

“Of course tesoro…” distracted, Giorno kissed your forehead and you left, determined to get to the bottom of what was plaguing him. You knew that his origins were obscure. He didn’t have much of a relationship with his mother and you both learned the truth about his father after meeting with Dr. Kujo to resolve a few matters which required Giorno’s assistance. Recalling the conversation, you remembered the sordid business with Dio and the stone mask. Your blood ran cold when you considered the idea that Giorno could be going through a transition of sorts… it wasn’t a pleasant thought to entertain, however, you couldn’t think of another reason for his odd behavior and changes in his features.

You knew it was a risky idea… you knew that if he overheard your conversations he’d be furious… but you had to seek help from the one man who had encountered the type of being that Giorno shared his DNA with. Hating having to hide this from the man you had previously shared every mundane detail of your day with, you pressed on, and within the week that had passed you had learned all there was to know about his condition without actually having an expert examine him. You had unfortunately hit a wall, all the while, despite your best efforts, the rift between you and Giorno had continued to widen.

You sat up in bed engaging in a long distance call with a tired-sounding Jotaro, at that ungodly hour-alone- confident that you would be falling asleep beside a cold pillow, just as you had for the past 3 nights. “Is there anything that can be done from where I am? Dr. Kujo, please… I know you may be apprehensive given the history, I can assure you that, if by some stroke of misfortune, anything were to go awry I have enough faith in my abilities to contain him, I…”

“It’s not that, I trust that he isn’t a threat, despite what he’s experiencing. The thing is, we have already shared every bit of information we have in our possession with you. Anything else will require you to come here, the foundation has experts and the technology available to at least assess Giorno to determine a way forward from there,”

“I’ll try to get…”

“Who are you talking to?” the temperature in the room suddenly dropped when you heard the cold manner in which your husband addressed you.

“Oh! Giorno… I can explain… Dr. Kujo, please forgive my rudeness, but may we continue this later, at a suitable time for you?”

“Of course,”

“Thank you, I’ll be in touch…” moving from one impossibly difficult conversation to another, you turned your attention to Giorno who was seething at the doorway across from you.

“Care to explain?” the expression on your husband’s face was so cold it forced you to silently avert your gaze to gather your composure.

“(y/n), I’m waiting…” his footsteps resounded with a sharp clatter as he walked into the room.

“Gio… I’m worried about you. You think I haven’t noticed but I can see that you’ve changed. I see you agonizing over this… transition… you’re going through. Please don’t shut me out,” weeks of unexpressed feelings pooled in the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill out.

“(y/n) … this is something I have to do on my own, I… I don’t want to hurt you,” it was clear that Giorno did not want to have this conversation with you from his shaky disposition and the manner in which he spoke.

“What you’re doing right now is more hurtful than anything else! Watching you struggle like this, being so close to you, yet so far removed from each other,” emotions swirling uncontrolled, you choked out the words despite wanting to protect Giorno’s feelings.

“You don’t understand cara”

“Then make me understand, damn it Giorno!”

“Ahh! you think I don’t know what’s happening to me? I’ve been doing my own research as well. I know what my father was… I knowwhat I’m turning into! We both know… and you… the scent of you drives me insane. Rather than hurting you, I chose to stay away from you!” For a moment after his outburst, all you heard was silence save for the sound of Giorno’s breathing and your own heart pounding in your ears.

“You’re not him Gio, you never will be like him. and if your bloodlust is doing this to you, then please just let me help you… I’m your wife, if I can’t do this for you, who will?!”

“No! I won’t allow it. Will I even be human if I did? No… I can’t, and if I hurt you I’ll never forgive myself,”

“Gio, caro, I trust you entirely, I know you wouldn’t go too far, and if by some stroke of bad luck, you do, you can always use your stand ability to replace what was lost. I can’t stand seeing you like this… I love you so much… so please, if you need to… then do it, I’ll be okay,”

You saw the doubt flicker in his glossy eyes as he considered your argument. Inching closer towards him, you extend your hand to cup his cheek, cherishing the feeling of his faintly stubbled skin against your soft hand. He puts his hand over yours, leaning into your touch, he places a soft kiss into your palm. After craving your touch for so long, this felt heavenly to him, and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to let you go again after this. You picked up on his yearning, as it matched your own, and gently coaxed his face towards yours, kissing him gently at first, and then surrendering to your urges as Giorno hungrily deepened the kiss, burying his fingers into your hair. When he broke away, his gaze was intense, but marred by doubt. He flicked your hair over your shoulder and gingerly traced the vein on your neck, his thumb gently caressing your silken skin.

Sensing his trepidation, you try to allay his fears, “It’s alright my love, I’m ready… I’ll be okay.” Your hands wrap around his back while his lips find your neck, small kisses were placed in the prime spot, turning into little licks and laps, until finally you felt the sharp sting of Giorno’s teeth sinking into the supple flesh with a low hum from him. After the initial pain, the sensation was unlike anything you have ever experienced before, a newfound intimacy that came from knowing you were helping him through something so intense.

After a few moments, his hunger was satiated- at last, the feral intensity disappearing from his eyes, his teeth retracting to the same level as the others, Giorno cradled you in his arms.

“Tesoro, are you alright?” his voice was tender, and it seemed that he had finally returned to his old self.

“I’m alright my love,” you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Giorno was overcome by a new wave of affection for you, watching you carefully, he lifted you up, despite your protests and carried you to bed.

“This will only hurt for second amore, but you will feel much better afterwards,” he explained as a familiar golden glow enveloped both you and him, slightly smarting the area that it healed until all evidence of the encounter had vanished. Clear eyes peered curiously into your own and were met with a relieved gaze- finally the crimson haze had cleared.

“How are you feeling my love? You look… different… calmer?” pushing yourself up on one arm, you sat up to face Giorno.

“I do feel calm, I feel like a spell has been lifted and I’m finally myself again…” anguish contorted the young don’s features as he thought back on the events that built up to that moment. “I’m so sorry, tesoro… I’ve treated you horribly over the past few weeks, there are no excuses, regardless of what was happening, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you… please forgive me,” unable to hold your gaze he just looked away dejectedly.

“Giorno… look at me…” you extended your arms towards him, gripping the sides of his face, gently turning him towards you. “We’re a team, we’ve fought against unimaginable things together, built an entire empire together, even changed the course of fate together… my point is that regardless of what you’re going through, it will never best us if handle it together,” offering you a tired smile, he grasped your hands in his and kissed them gently.

“You always know what to say… You’re pretty amazing, you know that?”

“Well, of course I’m amazing! Doesn’t hurt to hear it every once in a while though…” your laughter lightened the mood and tugged at the corners of Giorno’s full lips. Wordlessly, he climbed onto his side of the bed and motioned for you to take your place in his arms. It was the embrace that you both craved after the painful period of time you were estranged from each other. Hair still adorned with his triad of curls and still in his suit, Giorno fell asleep almost instantly after wrapping his arms around you and tucking your head under his chin.

Feeling as safe as you did, your exhaustion also weighed down your eyelids. You knew that the road would be a long one, but for now, the only thing that mattered was the fact that he was safe and happy, and you were in his embrace where you belonged. Relishing the warmth he radiated, you allowed yourself to drift into a peaceful slumber.

[satendou]

⟼  full circle

previous: roundabout | 2/2

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ pairing: osamu/reader

⇢ au: aged up!au

⇢ summary: learning to trust again is a hard thing to do, if it’s even worth it    

⇥ masterlist

⇢ warnings: angst, insecurity, smut, unprotected sex

⇢ word count: 8652

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ a/n: is this an unrealistic representation of making up? probably. is it how every man should act? yes. anyway i love osamu i hope you guys like this.

The next day, you wake up with a minor headache and surrounded by a confusingly familiar smell. It all slams back into place in a rush and your eyes pop open to find Osamu beside you, his arms wound so tight around you that you have no hope of escaping without waking him up, so you still. You spend an untold number of minutes just staring at him, his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks, eyelids twitching as he dreams. There are dark circles under his eyes and his lips are turned down in a frown. The longer you stare the more anxious you become, specific memories and revelations swirling around you confused mind.

Osamu showing up, admitting that Kana was cheating, admitting that he still loved you-- the last one hurt the most and was the most dangerous. You had told yourself everyday since he left that he hadn’t loved you, because it had been easier than the alternative. Believing that he loved you but had loved her more was somehow worse, and suddenly you couldn’t stand laying there.

Pushing at his chest, you watched his eyelids flutter open, soft brown hazy with sleep. He blinked a few times, brows furrowing before he looked at you and panic overtook everything. It mixed with hurt, fear, and more confusion, and he let you pull away to sit up.

The two of you sat there in a tense silence for a few minutes, neither of you wanting or knowing how to broach the subject of how you ended up in this situation. You stared down at your lap, chewing on your lip as you picked at your nails while Osamu gazed up at the ceiling, his arm resting across his forehead.

The moment stretched to a breaking point, a taut line of things that needed to be said, and you took a deep breath.

“What’re you gonna do?” you asked, and felt him tense beside you.

He sighed, scrubbing his face with his hand as he said, “I guess I’m gonna go get my stuff from Kana’s. I need ta talk to ‘Tsumu about stayin’ with him fer a while.”

At the mention of going to her place, you froze, a myriad of thoughts bouncing around inside your head. “Alone?”

He knew what you were asking, could hear the unspoken question in your words. What if you see her and change your mind?

“I’ll get ‘Tsumu and Bokuto ta help me. Can’t move all my stuff alone anyway,” he said, reaching out to you. His fingertips came to rest on yours, a gesture of comfort and a promise.

I’m coming back.

Well, it didn’t matter what he said. He would either keep his word or he wouldn’t, and there was nothing you could do about it.

You pulled away.

His face flashed with hurt and he rolled over, picking up his phone.

“You said Kana was cheating on you,” you said, and watched his eyes widen when the screen lit up. Against your better judgement, you leaned over to see. 

He didn’t even try to hide it, and your heart skipped a beat at the number of missed calls, voice mails, and text messages from Kana. The texts didn’t seem to surprise him, starting off with apologies and pleas for him to come back, slowly devolving over time into threats and curses. One in particular caught your attention and you looked away, your pulse thrumming in your ears as you mulled it over.

‘i know you’re with her. i knew you would run back to that bitch just as soon as things got tough. i saw you were texting her too, don’t think i’m stupid samu. but that’s okay, you’ll come back to me just like you did last time.’

That was the last message she sent at around 4am, a few hours after Osamu showed up at your door. 

Your fists curled into the blanket and you stared blankly at the door, a whole new flood of insecurity sweeping through you. She was probably right, you were just a backup, just like before. He would never love you the way--

“Hey, _____, don’t,” he whispered, his hands cupping your face and tilting your head up to look at him. “I told ya I’d prove it, and I will. Just give me a chance.”

What choice did you have, really? It had always been Osamu, and it always would be. He said jump and you asked how high.

He left soon after that, promising to call-- if you wanted-- once he was done getting his things. You nodded, watching him walk out the door with an impending sense of unease and a pounding heart, wondering if you could learn to trust him again. Following the soft click of the door closing, you whipped out your phone and dialed Hana, who sounded none too pleased to be woken up at such an ungodly hour on the weekend.

At least until you told her why you were calling.

--

When Osamu called later, you could hear Atsumu and Bokuto whooping in the background and he sighed around his laughter at them. There was a shuffling noise over the line and what sounded like a door closing, then his soft voice was back, crackling as he said, “I know we got a lot ta talk about, so do ya wanna meet up for lunch? ‘Tsumu wanted to go over to Kana’s to rub it in ‘er face that I’m leavin’ ‘er so I’m--”

“Hungry, I know,” you said, laughing softly. “Aren’t you always?”

There was a beat of silence, then he laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, guess I am. So, food?”

That was how you found yourself sitting across from him in a hole-in-the-wall diner ten minutes from your apartment. The air was still thick between you and you kept stealing glances at him over the menu. He was still staring at the menu even though you knew he already knew what he wanted.

The waitress came over to take your orders, and then there was nothing left to use as an excuse. But still, neither of you said anything, staring out into the rest of the diner or down at your fingers or up at the posters above your head-- anywhere but at each other.

“I blocked Kana,” Osamu said, startling you from reading the back of the “house brand hot sauce” bottle in the basket. He would have laughed if his heart wasn’t in his throat.

The way you looked at him made him nervous because he couldn’t tell what you were thinking. Contrary to what you probably believed, he did know you and, if he did say so himself, rather well at that.

Thanking the waitress when she set another glass of soda down beside you, you turned back to him. “How did it go, getting your stuff?”

He shrugged, swirling his straw around in his drink. The ice clinked against the glass, knocking beads of water loose to roll down the side, and you watched it pool at the base. “She wasn’t happy, I promise ya that. Screamin’ ‘n hollerin’. The neighbors were probably ready ta call the cops by the time we got outta there,” he said, lips curling in amusement. It was an empty gesture, devoid of mirth, and you responded with a frown.

“How-- I mean, you said you knew Kana was cheating on you at-- at Bo’s party, right? How did you know?” you asked, stumbling over the reminder of his garbled, drunk texts from that night. If the flush on his cheeks was anything to go by, he hadn’t forgotten that either.

“Ah, yah, sorry ‘bout that. Dunno why I-- anyway, she was probably foolin’ around with him still even when we got back together.” Quieter, he whispered, “I was so stupid.”

It was hard for him to be so candid about the whole thing with you. It had to be hurting you and he would much rather spare you the sordid details, but he knew that open honesty was the only thing that was going to win you back-- if it didn’t push you away first. So he would answer your questions and watch your face twist in disgust and pain, just hoping it wouldn’t be the final straw each time.

“How long? How long were you seeing her before--” You hesitated, pretending to examine an imperfection in the laminate table top. “Well, you know.”

His stomach twisted into knots as he hid his face in his hands. It hadn’t been long, but what did that matter when it happened in the first place?

“Not-- Not long. Uh, about a month,” he said, muffled by his hands.

A month. It was like a sock to the gut. Only a month and--

“A year. We’d been together for a year, had moved in together not two months prior and you-- and you-- a month. Wow,” you whispered, raking your fingers through your hair. You didn’t even wince as you snatched the tangles out of it. The room was spinning as fast as your thoughts and tears burned at the corners of your eyes as you stood up suddenly, knocking the table closer to Osamu, who looked up at you in confusion. “I need air. I can’t do this.”

With those words you were gone, and the waitress approached the table a moment later, confusion etched on her face as she asked if he needed a box for your food.

He nodded, resting his head in his hands to stare down at the dull tabletop. He deserved that, he knew he did, and he didn’t have a right to be hurt by your reaction. It was warranted, it was valid, and he hated himself for it.

--

He texted you an apology later on, which you were kind enough to at least respond to, and he left it at that. He knew pushing you too far would do no good, would only push you further from him. He still checked his phone every few minutes anyway, so much so that Atsumu snatched it from his hand and sat on it.

“Stop yer mopin’, ‘Samu. She ain’t got nothin’ ta say to ya, so get over it,” he said, giving his twin a pointed look. He had told Osamu more than once what an idiot he was over this whole thing, and he would continue to say so until he died. You were a hundred times better than Kana had ever been, had even tried to flirt with you at one point, but he had been erased from the equation as soon as Osamu had entered the picture.

He was a bit of a blindspot where you were concerned and Atsumu knew that you would forgive Osamu eventually-- provided he kept his head out of his ass for more than ten minutes. He wasn’t about to tell his brother that though. He needed to suffer a little for hurting you.

Softening at the forlorn look on his face, Atsumu sighed. Quieter, he said, “Look, just give ‘er some space. Can’t believe I have to give you relationship advice, but that’s what happens when ya do stupid shit. Remind me why ya ever thought Kana would be better’n _____ again?”

A pillow thumped him upside the head, knocking him over and the phone he was sitting on was snatched back. When he sat back up, Osamu was typing at light speed on his phone, the swoopy noise of a text sending out playing through the speakers, and then the phone was shoved in his face.

“Don’t ya know what dark mode is, ya pleb?” he grumbled, squinting at the brightness. Then he smiled and nodded, clapping Osamu on the shoulder. 

‘i’ll give ya space, if that’s what ya need. i’m here when you’re ready to talk.’

A few minutes after they had returned to playing Madden, Osamu’s phone lit up again, his lips quirking up in a sad smile at what he read.

Atsumu leaned over to read the text and mirrored him, sympathetic brown eyes meeting with twin ones filled with pain, nodding. “It’s the best ya could hope for.”

‘Thank you, samu. I’ll talk to you later.’

--

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Miyu asked, leaning against the kitchen counter. You were standing across from her, swirling a wine glass in your hand, staring at the rich red liquid. Your eyes were puffy from a bout of crying, which had started shortly after you left the diner. All but running, you had headed towards her apartment without hesitation and pounded on her door until she opened it, looking more than a little alarmed.

When you had spilled about everything that had happened over the last two days, she sat down on her couch and called him too many names for you to remember before leveling a glare at you.

“You’re gonna forgive him, aren’t you?” she asked, sighing when you looked away.

Falling to the couch beside her, you wiped your eyes clear of the residual tears as you stared up at the ceiling. “I really don’t know. I want to, but I’m scared. A part of me knows I shouldn’t but--”

“Yeah, yeah, but you love him. Typical romance movie garbage, I get it.” She sighed and mimicked your position. “What if he does it again?”

You bit the inside of your cheek to stifle the prickle of tears again and shrugged. “That’s like, the whole problem, isn’t it? Is it possible to trust someone again after they cheat?”

“Dunno. Never been cheated on before. Or...if I have they hid it better. Yikes.”

You laughed at that and closed your eyes, a smile remaining on your face as you thought-- about Osamu, about Kana, about the two of them, about the two of you. It was hard to imagine the two of you together again, the way you were before. There was a fracture in the very foundation of your relationship and you had to decide if it was worth trying to repair.

“He blocked her. He didn’t do that last time,” you said after a moment, and Miyu huffed beside you.

“Who are you trying to convince?” she asked, and you laughed again. More softly, she said, “Look, I know you love him, so I won’t be surprised if you go back to him. But I don’t wanna see you get hurt again like that. That was awful and I wanted to kill him. Just...I don’t know. Do you think you can learn to trust him again?”

That was the million dollar question. The next one was could you learn to live with the distrust that would be there even if you did forgive him? And for that matter, did you want to?

The little voice in the back of your head whispered yes, yes, and yes-- and it was a traitor.

All of that had led to where you were currently, leaning against her counter, sipping more cheap wine a week later while you stared down at his name in your phone.

Parting your lips, you thought better of answering, instead hitting the send button on your message, and she sighed.

“I really, really hope this doesn’t end badly.”

--

Osamu’s heart was in his throat as he walked into the restaurant you had suggested, giving your name for the reservation, and he was led to an empty booth. Before the waiter even came back with his drink, you showed up, dressed cute but casual, sliding into the seat across from him.

“Hi,” you said, and Osamu was pleasantly surprised by the shy smile you gave him. It reminded him of his first date with you all over again, when you hadn’t been able to look him directly in the eye. That was also the night the restaurant he had intended to take you to had shut down due to health code violations and, when he mentioned going somewhere else, you had pointed out a popular food truck across the street. Dressed in nice clothes, you had ordered your food and found a bench, laughing at the mess you made as you ate and Osamu knew he was in deep right at that moment.

He smiled at that memory, eyes softening as he stared at you, and you tucked your hair behind your ear as you asked what he was thinking about.

“Our first date. We never did go back ta try that restaurant,” he answered, resting his head in his hand.

You laughed at that, open and light and it made his heart stutter in his chest.

Picking up the menu, you said, “Yeah because I didn’t feel like picking cockroaches out of my food, thank you very much.”

“They cleared it like, a month later. I’m sure it’s fine now,” he said, chuckling at the feigned grimace you gave him.

“No thanks, but I wouldn’t mind finding that food truck again,” you said, scanning the list of pastas.

The waiter returned a moment later and took your order, silence falling between you again when he left. Before, it wouldn’t have been awkward, and Osamu would have reached out to take your hand in his as you stared at each other. 

But that was no longer something he could do. So instead he said, “Thank ya for givin’ me a chance. I know I don’t--”

You cut him off, expression suddenly serious as you said, “I don’t know yet if you deserve it or not. That’s for me to decide. Osamu, if I so much as think you’re talking to her again, I’m done. Completely and totally done. I can’t go through that again.”

There was something unsaid in your words, a ‘but’ lingering in the air, and he tilted his head as you bit your lip. “That’s totally fair, ya know? I said it before and I’ll keep sayin’ it ‘til I prove it, but I won’t hurt ya like that again, I swear it.”

Instead of responding to his words, you said, “I don’t want you to get your hopes up, ‘Samu. I’m not...sure if I can trust you again. I just want you to know that before things get too serious again.”

He nodded, but had to wait for the waiter to set your food down before he said anything more. Your words made him nervous, but at least you were trying. He couldn’t ask for anything more, could he?

“If-- If that’s what ya decide is best for ya, I’ll understand. But I mean it, thank ya for tryin’ anyway,” he said when you were alone again. He gave you a half-hearted smile and you gave him your own shy one in return. 

He allowed himself, for that moment, to hope.

--

Over the course of the next few months, Osamu made it his mission to keep his word, so much so that even the others noticed.

Flowers and dates abounded, and he made an extra effort to see you whenever he could between classes. He kept seeing Kana around in the halls, and you would tense when you caught sight of her before glancing at him. Whenever she happened to pass, he made sure to keep his expression neutral or to smile at you, whichever he felt would be better.

She made an attempt to talk to him the first time she saw him after that, asking if she could speak to him in private. He could see the burning jealousy in her eyes as she stared at you, red painted lips quirking up just the slightest bit at the corners and he could see you were ready to panic.

When you tried to pull away from him, his grip on your hand tightened, drawing you behind him, placing himself in front of you as a shield as he snapped that she had nothing to say to either one of you. Your fingers curled in his shirt, hiding your face as people in the cafeteria stared.

Good, he thought as people started to whisper. A spectacle was exactly what he wanted, a public display to show you he was seriously done with Kana and her shit. The way you looked at him when he pulled you into his arms just after that, tilting your head up to stare into your eyes as she stormed off, was an exasperated mixture of amusement and embarrassment, but you couldn’t force a smile.

She kept her distance after that and, though Osamu wanted to put on a show every time her eyes would alight on the two of you, he refrained. This wasn’t about her, it was about you. So instead, he would squeeze your hand a little tighter and look at you, willing you to believe he only had eyes for you.

His attempts seemed to work.

Ever so slowly-- so slowly he didn’t realize until it smacked him in the face one day-- you stopped looking so alarmed whenever she came into view, squeezing his hand in a deathgrip before you would look to him. He rejoined his group of friends for lunch and Friday nights out-- or in, if that was what you all decided. Things felt right again, the warmth of your palm against his, fingers intertwined where they rested on your knee as you laughed along with something the others were talking about.

They seemed to have forgiven him too, at least after Miyu had chewed his ear off after cornering him one day. 

He was reminded, from time to time though, that things weren’t as perfect with you as they were before, and each time those reminders felt like a slap to the face. A well deserved slap, but it stung nonetheless. 

“Who...is that?” you asked, looking at the girl he had just parted from. He had been talking to her as he walked out of the classroom, smiling and laughing with her. For just a moment, paranoia and suspicion flooded your system. Your hands curled into fists, your heart pounding in your chest, causing Osamu to quirk a brow at your question.

He was confused by the wary look on your face and the glimmer in your eyes as you watched her walk down the hall-- then it clicked. His usual go to would have been to tease you for being jealous, laughing it off but--

“Jus’ someone in a group for class. We have ta make this huge presentation and she was askin’ for some help with an icin’ recipe. Said she jus’ can’t get it right an’ I offered-- but I can pass it off ta someone else, if it--” he was rambling, his hands already cupping your face and guiding you to look back at him. He was already thinking of Hikaru when you shook your head.

“No, I-- It’s alright, I guess. I don’t want to get in the way of your group project or anything,” you said, but even you could hear the insecurity in the words. You hated that something as innocent as this was enough to make you paranoid, but it was a reaction you couldn’t help.

Osamu shook his head, pushing your hair back off your face and leaning down to kiss your forehead. “No, it’ll make ya feel better. Hikaru has the same notes I do, so he can help ‘er. Why don’t we go get something to eat?”

You trailed along behind him, staring down at your intertwined hands and wondered, not for the first time, if you would ever feel secure in your relationship again. Every time you saw him with another woman it was like this, the paranoia and insecurity welling up and clouding what you believed. And every time, you would ask the same questions-- who is she, how do you know her, what were you doing with her?

It was taxing and you thought each time that Osamu was going to finally throw it in. It had been months now and you still couldn’t trust him to do something as innocent as talk. 

Which was why it was a relief when guilt would flash in his eyes as he reassured you, pulling you into his strong arms, answering you without ire-- it was the only reason you could bring yourself to believe him. You never knew that learning to trust someone again would be so hard and you wondered how long it would take-- if ever-- for you not to flinch whenever you caught him with someone else.

“Hey, _____? Ya don’t have ta say it back, and I know ya won’t believe me just yet,” he said, breaking through your melancholic thoughts. He had pulled you to the side, a little ways down a mostly empty hallway. Crowding you against the wall, he was staring down at you with what might have been pain. “But I love ya, and I’m not gonna hurt ya again like that. I promise.”

His words were like a balm on the pain in your heart, soothing the ache that your insecurities brought on, and you nodded. Your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, but you let him hold you for a moment as students moved around you, some giving you strange looks as they passed by.

When you pulled away, it was you who took his hand and rejoined the flow of students leaving the building, dragging him towards your favorite restaurant. 

Maybe, you decided, it wouldn’t be so hard to trust him, so long as he kept his promises this time.

--

The biggest milestone to Osamu was when you asked him one Friday evening if he wanted to come over instead of going out, and his room seemed to tilt 180 degrees. He was typing an agreement before he even realized it and launched himself off his bed. 

“Goin’ ta _____’s, don’ wait up,” he practically slurred as he passed through the living room.

Atsumu shared a glance with his flavor of the week after the door had shut, snickering at his expense.

When he knocked at the door twenty minutes later, you opened it and laughed.

“Did you run over here, ‘Samu?” you asked, staring at him bent over with his hands on his knees.

“M-Maybe,” he snapped back, grinning as he panted. When he had caught his breath, he stood up straight again and shot you a lopsided grin. “Why wouldn’t I race over here ta spend the night with my pretty girlfriend?”

Your eyes widened a fraction, your smile falling a little, and he winced at his slipup. You had never labeled what the two of you were in the aftermath of everything, preferring to let it exist as it was.

Then you gave him a half-smile and gestured him in.

“I, uh, thought maybe we could bake something or, y’know, something,” you said, leading him into the kitchen. 

There were ingredients all over the counter, interspersed with bowls and measuring cups, and Osamu instantly recognized what you were after.

“Cinnamon rolls?” he asked, smiling at you. You flushed a bright red, letting him pull you in close so you could hide your face in his chest. “Yer too cute, _____.”

“Well, I missed cooking with you, ‘Samu,” you whispered, linking your fingers together behind his back. 

You sounded sad as you said it, and he rubbed your back to soothe you. “I missed it too, princess.”

The name slipped out so easily he didn’t even realize he had done it at first, but you nuzzled closer instead of pulling away like he expected. His throat closed up as he stared down at you and believed, for the first time since he had showed up at your apartment months ago, that things were really going to be okay.

“So, _____ wants som’a my cinnamon rolls,” he said, letting you go. You turned to face the counter and he studiously ignored the way you wiped at your eyes, instead examining the ingredients in front of him. “I think that can be arranged.”

“Do you remember when Atsumu and Bokuto tried the Cinnamon Challenge?” you wheezed a little while later as Osamu choked on some of the fine powder. He had been eyeing it in the measuring cup and sneezed, causing it to puff up into his face. He glared at you as he coughed, eyes watering while he pounded on his chest. You were supposed to be getting him a glass of water, but your hands were shaking so bad you couldn’t do it.

“Yeah, and I understand now why it’s so unpleasant,” he croaked, nudging you out of the way so he could get his own glass. “I can’t believe those idjits tried it twice.”

“Oh can’t you?” you asked, taking deep breaths to recover. The image of them spitting out clouds of red cinnamon all over the kitchen would stick with you forever, and you snickered again. “Those two have one brain cell between them and Sakusa owns it.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as moisture returned to his mouth bracing himself up on his hands beside you, staring up at you with a mixture of amusement and feigned aggravation. “Remind me ta never trust ya to save my life again. I almost died and ya just stood there laughin’.”

“Well, it was pretty funny,” you said, tapping your lip as you thought about it. It was Atsumu all over again, and you giggled. “I’ll try harder next time, I swear.”

“There won’ be a next time, ya brat,” he grumbled, moving around you to stand in front of the mixing bowl again. “Now, are ya gonna help me or not? If ya don’t pull yer weight, I’ll eat all these by maself.”

Faking a shocked gasp, you crowded in beside him, picking up the measuring spoon he had dropped. “Pig.”

A little while later, the apartment was filled with the rich, warm aroma of baking sweets and you were curled up on the couch beside Osamu. Your legs were in his lap, his warm hand skimming up and down your calf while you watched Big Hero 6, much to his amusement.

But you seemed to be distracted, tensing up under his touch from time to time, your eyes unfocused when he would look over at you. At long last, you sighed and sat up, pulling your legs from his lap. Sitting cross-legged, you looked up at him and his mouth went dry.

“Uh, what’s up?” he asked, giving you his full attention. Whatever it was, you were serious about it and he was nervous.

Your heart was thrumming in your chest, even though what you were going to say was supposed to be good. But your insecurities cropped back up again, causing the words you thought you were ready to say to stick in your throat. Sure, neither you nor any of your friends had seen him so much as look at Kana since he broke up with her and, yes, he had made a valiant effort to keep his promise, but was it enough?

You had thought it was, until it came down to saying it. So you were just sitting on the couch, staring up at him with slightly parted lips, and understanding dawned on his face.

His eyes softened as he reached out, grazing your cheek with his fingertips. “It’s okay. If ya aren’t ready-- I’m here anyway.”

His words were like magic, warmth stilling the tidal wave of negative thoughts crashing inside you, and you leaned into his touch. His hand smoothed out, cupping your face, smiling when you did.

“It’s...okay, if you wanna call me your girlfriend again,” you said, staring into his eyes.

His smile turned into a smirk at that, and he pushed your face away. “What else should I call ya? My little brat sounds more fitting for ya, don’t ya think?”

You scoffed and lunged at him, getting caught by the wrists before you could do anything. “I’ll show you who’s a brat, you jackass. Here I am trying to be cute and--”

“Well, ya’ve succeeded. Want yer prize?” he asked, wrestling you down into his lap. He was far stronger than you could ever hope to be holding you close with one arm.

You squirmed anyway, pushing at his face as you laughed. “I don’t remember you being this smooth before. You’ve been hanging out with ‘Tsumu too much.”

He snickered at that, finally letting you up only to be knocked down to the couch. He grunted in surprise as you straddled his hips, smirking down at him in triumph. Resting his hands on your thighs, he said, “I’ve always been this smooth, princess. Maybe I just dazzled ya so much ya missed it.”

“You are the worst,” you groaned, rolling your eyes. Osamu sat up underneath you and you looped your arms around his neck, the air growing thicker as his breaths mingled with yours.

Mischievous brown eyes dipped down to your lips and back up, a brow quirked in question. When you only cocked your head with a grin, he sighed and asked, “Mind if I kiss ya now?”

Instead of answering, you closed the distance between you, relaxing into his arms when your lips met. He groaned low in his throat, fingers tightening on your hips as your tongue delved into his mouth, tangling with his.

You were breathing heavy when you pulled apart, forehead coming to rest on his, and he gave you a lopsided smile. “Damn, I missed that.”

It was never like that with Kana, who was all about getting hot and heavy. Osamu realized that as he kissed you, lips soft against his, wearing one of his t-shirts that you had stolen again at some point and leggings, sitting on the secondhand couch the two of you had got from your parents.

You returned his grin, fingers carding through his hair, tilting his head to the side to kiss him again. 

The sound of the timer interrupted you, and you giggled when he pushed you backwards off his lap, shouting, “Rude!” at his retreating back.

The smell increased tenfold when he opened the oven, and you spent a good twenty minutes decorating the rolls with homemade icing, half of which ended up on your faces as you fought.

“I can think of better places ta lick this off,” he said as his tongue dragged over the smear of icing on your cheek, leaving a trail of drool behind.

You squealed, pushing his head away while swiping at the sticky wet path with the back of your hand. “Don’t push your luck, romeo. Keep it up and I’ll make you go home.” Osamu’s eyes lit up at that while yours narrowed. “What?”

“So ya were already plannin’ ta let me stay, huh?” he asked, advancing on you until you were crowded against the counter. There was still a dab of icing on his nose, and he smirked when it touched yours.

“Wha-- I-- I didn’t say that,” you said, but you sounded oddly unsure as your fingers curled in the collar of the hoodie he wore. “Maybe I would have let you sleep on the-- on the couch…”

His lips had latched onto the side of your neck, nipping and sucking his way down to the curve of your shoulder, and he grinned in triumph when your breath hitched. 

His lips were hot against your skin, warmth erupting between your legs as he zeroed in on one of your pleasure spots, your back arching into him.

“Doesn’t sound like I’ll be sleepin’ on the couch tonight, princess,” he said, smirking as he trailed back up to your ear. Flicking the shell, his voice dropped, gravelly in you ear as he said, “I’ll bet ya the bed I can make ya cum in five minutes.”

“You’re on,” you said, your voice shaky. He was on his knees before you even stopped speaking, your leggings were all but ripped off by the time you were done.

He didn’t waste any time, flinging one leg over his shoulder and latching onto your clit, groaning around it as he suckled. His lithe fingers slid through your folds, gathering up the slick there and he pulled back for a moment to growl, “Already so wet for me, princess. Yer makin’ this too easy.”

“Shut up and-- fuck,” you moaned, one of his fingers slipping into your needy cunt. It pumped in and out of you, seeking out your g-spot with laser precision before you were filled with a second one. Your fingers tightened in his hair, tugging roughly as he fingerfucked you with abandon, building the pleasure pooling in your gut.

He was moaning around your clit, lapping and sucking as he praised your taste and how good you felt while you whined at him, rocking your hips in time with his thrusts.

“‘Samu, please,” you begged, back arching as your head thumped against the cabinet.

He groaned, focusing on the swollen spot inside you, and said, “Cum for me, princess.”

You wailed, drenching his face as you came, thighs clamping down on his head and he just kept going even when you pushed at his head.

“‘Samu, ‘Samu, please,” you whined, hips squirming in his hold. 

He grinned up at you from between your legs, chin covered in your slick and a smug look in his lazy eyes as he said, “Guess I get ta sleep in the bed after all, huh?”

“Ha, I guess so. I’ll just sleep on the couch then,” you panted, pulling your pants back up. 

Osamu stood up as well, licking his lips in a satisfied manner before wiping his face clean with a paper towel. “Fine by me, princess. Better than sleepin’ beside ‘Tsumu’s room.”

“You are such an asshole, Miya,” you said, pushing him back down onto the couch. He landed with a grunt and was quick to yank you down with him so that you were straddling his hips like earlier. “What, you think it’s your turn?”

He laughed at that, fingers tangling in your hair and guiding your lips to his. “Maybe I do, or maybe I just wanted ta kiss ya. It has been six months since I got ta. Gotta make up fer lost time ‘n all that.”

You moaned into the kiss, tongues fighting playfully in your mouth as your hands slid up into his hair and pulled. He let you dominate without complaint, letting his hands wander up your sides to cup your breasts and back down to your thighs again. 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” you murmured, even though you were doing nothing to stop his sneaky hands. “I never said you could--”

He pulled back, hands suddenly finding your face. He was serious all of a sudden, and you were confused. It cleared up with a rush of warmth when he asked, “Ya are okay with it, right? We don’t have ta do anything if ya aren’t ready, you know that right?”

It was like your first time all over again, when your boyfriend was constantly worried about if you were comfortable, causing you to giggle. “Yeah, ‘Samu. I’m okay with it. I’ve missed you so much, I just want--”

You squealed when you were picked up, legs locking around his hips while he held you up in his arms. He was littering your neck and jaw with soft kisses, broken by a whisper of, “I’ve missed ya too, _____. So fuckin’ much.”

You landed on the bed with a thump, bouncing once before you were pinned under his weight. He wasted no time in stripping the both of you, letting your clothes hit the floor without care, and then he was sitting up on his knees to admire you. Rough hands slid over your knees and down your thighs as he stared down at you with a warmth in his brown eyes that made you squirm.

Then he snickered and leaned over to kiss you, tongue slipping into your mouth again as his fingers finally found your clit. He swallowed the soft noise you made as he slipped inside you, walls still soaked from your previous orgasm and easing the way for his fingers.

“‘S-’Samu,” you moaned, pulling away from the kiss. Your hips rocked up to meet his thrusts, touch far too gentle to bring you anywhere near your orgasm, but you didn’t ask for more. “Feels so good. I missed you.”

He hummed against your cheek, hiding his smile against your skin as his heel rubbed against your clit. You clenched around him, fingers tugging at his hair when his lips found your nipple, rolling and sucking the taut bud between his teeth. Between moving to the other one, he breathed, “I missed ya too. Missed these too. So fuckin’ pretty.”

He pulled off your tit with a wet pop and withdrew his fingers. You whined at the loss, just basking in the attention he was lavishing you with even if it wasn’t enough to make you cum. You just wanted to be close to him, and your arms locked around his neck as he pulled your legs around his hips.

His lips were on yours again as he guided himself inside you, your pussy parting easily around him. Your back arched as he stretched you, moaning out his name as your fingers tangled in his hair. His warmth surrounded you, caged in his arms, chest brushing yours as he hilted inside you.

“Yer so damn tight, princess. So wet, feels so good,” he groaned, snapping his hips out and back in, feeling you squeeze around him. “Missed this so much.”

Your nails bit into his scalp as you held yourself to him, lips parted in pleasure as moans spilled from you. “‘Samu, ‘Samu, feels so good,” you babbled back at him.

He swallowed your sounds with a kiss before whispering, “Shh, princess, I got ya. Gonna take good care a ya from now on. I won’ let ya go again, I promise.”

He couldn’t tell if the tears were from how good you felt with his hips grinding into yours or from his words, but you hid your face in his neck and whined, “Don’t let me go, ‘Samu, please.”

At those words, he sat back on his heels and pulled you up with him, laughing when you clung to him as he slid back inside you. Pressing your forehead to his, you rolled your hips into his, bouncing on his cock.

“‘Samu, I love you,” you whispered, eyes fluttering closed at the feeling. “Please, please, don’t leave me again, I--”

He cut you off with a kiss, teeth colliding with yours in an effort to convey that he was there, he wasn’t leaving, wouldn’t leave you again. Tears were rolling down your cheeks now and he wiped them away with his thumbs, holding you as close as he could.

Pulling back, he whispered, “Never leavin’ ya again, baby. I swear it. Never want anyone but you again.” You whined at that, capturing his lips again before he fell back to the mattress, letting his hands guide the way you moved against him.

Every roll of your hips was dragging your clit across the curls at the base of his cock and he could feel you squeezing tight around him, moaning his name with every pass. He was lifting you up, helping you bounce as your fingers dug into the blanket on either side of his head. You were so beautiful to him with your cheeks flushed and lips parted, the feel of your tight cunt around him driving him towards his climax.

Braced on your hands, you hovered over him, eyes half-lidded as you focused on the way he felt inside you, brushing over the sweet spot as he pounded into you. “Gonna cum, ‘Samu,” you moaned, collapsing to your elbows. Your legs were shaking with the effort of moving and you found yourself flipped onto your back.

“Me too, pretty girl,” he whispered. He was on his elbows, hips pistoning into yours, cock twitching as you spasmed around him. “Come on, cum for me.”

Angling his hips up just right, he grazed your clit and you fell apart, back arching up off the bed as your nails dug into his arms. You wailed his name, legs locked around his hips to keep him in place and he choked as he came inside you. He rocked into you until you lay limp beneath him and even then, he didn’t pull out. Not that he could, with your arms around his neck pulling him down further, until he was fully resting on you.

Your pants mingled together and he nuzzled your nose until you gave in and kissed him. There were still tear tracks on your cheeks which he kissed away too, basking in the warmth between you, the feel of your body against his. 

Until that moment, he hadn’t realized just how worried he was that he would never get the opportunity to be this close to you again. Letting out a shuddery breath, he kissed you again, and again, and again, until you were breathless all over again.

“I meant it, I’m never lettin’ you go again,” he whispered between each one. You made a small noise of contentment in the back of your throat, trying to pull him even closer, though there was no space left between you. “I love ya, _____.”

Fresh tears were in your eyes and he kissed them away as they fell, his heart banging against his ribs as he tried to decide if that was good or bad. Probably a mix of both, that he had even made it necessary to reassure you of his affection in the first place. He would fight everyday to prove his words were true, no matter how many times you doubted him.

“I love you too, ‘Samu,” you whispered hoarsely.

You stayed like that for awhile, until your breathing started to even out, at which point he lifted himself off of you. 

Whining at the loss, you reached out for him again only to be pulled into his arms, your head tucked into his neck while he rubbed your back. He chuckled when you squirmed closer and said, “I forgot how needy ya got after sex. It’s still adorable.”

“‘Samu, shut up. ‘M tired,” you mumbled, tangling your legs with his. His hand came up to cover yours and you listened to his laughter rumble in his chest. “You’re so annoying.”

“Tha’s not what ya were sayin’ earlier, princess,” he said, earning himself a smack.

“I’m going to smother you if you don’t shut up right now,” you said, pulling on the pillow behind you. 

He caught your wrist before it connected with his face and said, “Careful, princess. Yer gonna get me goin’ again.”

As if to prove his point, you could feel him against your thigh, half-hard, and groaned. “Why are you like this?”

“Gotta make up for lost time, don’ I?” he said, rolling over and pinning you to the bed again. “Better get ready, princess. We got all night.”

--

“Wait, you’re what now?” you asked, pausing mid-sip to stare at Osamu across the table. “Paris?”

He nodded, watching your reaction carefully. Your eyebrows furrowed, your lips turning down as you set the glass back down on the table. “Ta study culinary arts. I’ve found someone willin’ ta teach me there, and it’d be a good opportunity.”

There was a brief flicker of something across your face, maybe insecurity, maybe fear, but it was gone in a flash, leaving Osamu to wonder whether he imagined it or not. You nodded, stirring your straw and staring into the swirling drink thoughtfully. “You’re right. It’s an amazing opportunity, ‘Samu. You’re gonna take it, right?”

He watched you still more closely and finally picked up on what he’d been afraid of, that little glimmer of doubt that you were trying so hard to hide. You were putting on a brave face for him, but even after almost a year, he still caught the signs of insecurity in you. It had eased up, for which he was thankful, but it still twisted him up inside to see it at all.

“I want to,” he said, evading giving you a straight answer. He didn’t want to see the fear that he knew would come with his revelation, though he knew he would have to face it soon enough. “I haven’ decided--”

“You should take it,” you said, cutting him off. His eyes widened at the blunt tone, but he didn’t find the doubt he expected, and you didn’t stumble over your words. “You’ll come back, right? You shouldn’t pass up an opportunity like this because of me or anyone else. It’s always been your dream, so you should go.”

His mouth dropped open but no words came out, his thoughts tangling up in his head as he tried to process what you were saying. Of course, he had expected you to tell him he should go, but not with such assuredness. “Are ya-- Are ya sure? Yer not upset or--?”

Then you smiled and he could see the sadness blighting your security, but you shook your head. “It’s been hard, ‘Samu, you know it has. Trusting you again has been really tough, but I can’t, and don’t want, to hold you back for selfish reasons. Promise me you’ll come back, and we can deal with the rest as it comes, ‘kay?”

He just stared at you, blinking rapidly, and then--

“Come with me.”

The words poured out before he could think them through, and it was your turn to blink. 

“Pardon?”

“To France. To Paris. You’ll have graduated by the time I leave, so why not?” he said, quickly catching up to what his brain had decided. You were still staring at him with confusion, then you hummed.

Resting your head in your hand, you said, “Paris, huh? You plannin’ something while we’re there, Miya? It is the city of romance, after all.”

Osamu chuckled at that, settling against the back of the booth. “We got enougha that already, doll. But if a Paris proposal is what ya want, all ya had ta do was ask.”

Your laughter filled his ears, and he could finally see that you were really thinking about his offer. It was a serious thing, moving across the world for someone who had hurt you once already, and he would be hurt but not exactly surprised if you didn’t want to risk that. He waited with baited breath as you hummed again, staring up at one of the posters hanging above your head.

“Paris would be pretty nice, I guess. I wonder if I’ll be able to find a job there,” you murmured, and jumped when Osamu gasped.

“Wait, ya mean--?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not? A fresh start for us might not hurt,” you said, laughing when he jumped around the table to sit beside you. 

Peppering your face with kisses, he said, “Yer the best, babe. Ya won’t regret it, I promise.”

The waitress came by at that moment with your food, smiling lightly at the way Osamu was acting, and you flushed red.

“I already do. Get off me before we get kicked out for indecency,” you said, poking him in the side.

He smirked at that, thanking the waitress before whispering in your ear, “Oh, we’ll be indecent soon enough, but I can wait ‘til we’re home, at least.”

Groaning, you hid your face in your hands while he laughed, feeling at last like things were falling into place the way he’d always wanted. As he looked at you, your shoulders shaking with laughter into your hands, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

“I love ya, _____. Always will, if you’ll have me.”

⇥ masterlist 

⇥ taglist: @sluttony​, @visaintes​, @yunhosblackgf​, @super-noya​, @byebyes-world​, @newfriendjen​, @atsunakaashi​

[anonymous0writer]

Pretending

Author: @anonymous0writer

Summary: When a tourist won’t leave you alone at a party in the Boneyard, you go to John B. for help. But something’s changed. 

Warnings: Swearing, kissing? Alcohol use.

A/N: Thought this would be cute. :) Also, sorry this is kinda long. I got carried away, but I couldn’t stop. I’m in love with this.

God. This boy wouldn’t stop. He followed like a puppy begging for food. You rolled your eyes, turning back to the boy. 

“Stop. Please.” You’re voice came out weaker than you wanted. You were exhausted after surfing all day, and after three drinks, you became woozy. After four, you became wild, but this boy’s attention was keeping you from jumping off the cliff of your drunkenness.

The boy was cute, you’d give him that. But you weren’t looking for a hook up, or a quick fuck. You just wanted to get wasted with your friends, wake up the next day at an ungodly hour, and go surfing. Just to do it all over again. After all, that was your plan for the summer. To have a good time, all the time. 

Actually, the tourist was really cute. He had honey eyes the caught in the fading sunlight with tan skin one could only get through dedication and staying in the Outer Banks for a good amount of time. His tan skin was peppered with freckles. The boy had short, dark hair with lighter streaks from begin out in the sun all day. His plump lips curved into a drunk smile, and it reminded you of you best friend. John B. They were equally cute, but you’d vote for John B. Not this dude who couldn’t take a hint. 

“Oh come on,” The boy smiled. You felt a little bad. Normally, you wouldn’t pass this opportunity up to make out with a cute boy you’d never see again, but you weren’t in the mood. It wasn’t his fault you just wanted to get drunk with your friends instead of him. You sighed. “We don’t have to do anything. I just wanna talk.” He winked. 

You rubbed your face, aching for another mix of beer and some horribly strong alcohol that got you going. And maybe because you matched how cute the two boys were, you went to go find John B. 

You weaved through the crowd of kids from the Cut, Kooks and Tourons. The Kooks rolled their eyes and took a step away. They knew you were a Pogue. A dirty pogue, through and through. You’re dad left early on, and your mom could barely keep a job because she got wasted all the time, and your brother left to go to college and get a better life than the one offered to him here. You liked begin a pogue. It was better than a Kook. The Kooks knew you because you were somewhat famous. You were best friends with John B. and the rest of the crew. And John B.’s missing father was known throughout the island. And, because it seemed like you couldn’t stay out of a fight. You had beaten up some Kooks and Pogues alike in your day, but beating your own kind was when you were extremely drunk, or they threaten your friends. But you’d beat on a Kook because they were always beating on you and your friends. 

The Tourons smiled at you, but kept drinking. They didn’t know you and stuck to themselves like a pack of outsiders. The kids from the Cut were a different story. They called out your name, high fiving you and grinning. 

However, one Touron didn’t stop following you. He was at your heels the whole night. Annoyance started to rise, but you spotted John B. and Pope talking. You relaxed. John B. would help you.

“John B.!” You called out, waving. The boy was still at your heels, but slowed a little. 

Your best friend since the age of four looked up and grinned. “Hey, (Y/N). What’s up?” He ruffled your hair. 

You smiled at the affectionate gesture. You loved when he did that. He slung an arm around you and studied the tourist in front of you. 

“Who’s this?”

You shrugged. “Couldn’t tell ya.” You didn’t know his name. Truthfully. You were known to throw a couple punches, but Y/N Y/L/N was no liar. 

The boy narrowed his eyes at John. “I’m Julian. Who are you?”

Knowing this was the question you needed, you spoke up, slipping your hand into John’s limp one on your shoulder. “My boyfriend.”

Beside you, John tensed, confused, for a second before he relaxed and nodded at Julian. “That’s right.”

“Your boyfriend? You never mentioned him while we were talking.”

You rolled your eyes. “I didn’t feel the need to, but you kept talking and following me, so I guessed that telling you wouldn’t work. So I decided to show you.” You grinned triumphantly, knowing your words were a little harsh, but it was for good measure. Plus, you’d been giving hints to the boy to get lost hours ago.

Julian wasn’t convinced. “I don’t believe you.”

John B. laughed, dropping his arm to curl around your waist. You loved the feeling. And it felt right. Almost like his arm belonged there. Like it was made to hold you close. You smiled for a whole different reason, not realizing the blush coming to your cheeks. 

Pope eyed you, and you brushed it off. John B. was your best friend. Not anything more. And you certainly didn’t have a crush on him. 

“Oh really?” John B. teased, and took your chin in his hands and pulls you so close, you can feel his breath hot on your face. You don’t mind it. He smirked at you, eyes sparkling. Before you can process what’s happening, his lips are on yours, sweet, yet you notice the hint of need behind it. 

You kiss him back, eyes closed, needing more. You never needed a kiss like that. So sweet. You break apart, and you smile brightly up at him. John grins, looking back at Julian. “I can keep going, if you don’t believe me.”

Julian swallows, jaw clenched. Apparently annoyed he just wasted his night chasing after a girl with a ‘boyfriend’. He muttered something and walked away. You laughed out loud. 

“Thanks John B.” You stepped out of his hold, instantly wanting the warm of his arm back. You were confused by the kiss, but you convinced yourself it was just the alcohol running through your veins. 

“Course. You good?” he asked. 

You nodded, joining Pope on the log rooted into the sand. John B. sat next to you. “I’m fine. He wouldn’t leave me alone! I couldn’t even get another drink!” You pouted, earning a laugh from both of the boys. 

John B. stood. “I need another, you want one?” 

“Sure. Thanks.” You smiled, digging your feet into the sand. You flip flops were discarded next to you. The sand was still somewhat warm from the fading sunlight. 

“Pope?” The tall boy asked, pointing to him. 

Pope shook his head. “I’m good. Gotta keep the signal clear, yeah?”

You laughed and your friend walked away, off to get you a drink. Pope nudged your ribs. You frowned, “What?”

“What the hell was that?” Pope questioned, eyes wide.

“What do you mean? The kiss? Oh-” You shrugged. “John was saving me. Don’t worry. We’re not macking. I know the rule, it’s-” 

Pope cut you off. “No, it was more than just a kiss, (Y/N).”

You sputtered, frowning at your brilliant friend. “What are you talking about?”

Pope rolled his eyes. “You’re supposed to be the second smartest, (Y/N).” He shook his head. “You blushed when he put his arm around you, and you definitely kissed him back, longer than you needed. Plus,” The boy smirked at you and your wide eyes. “You were smiling like a fool after you kissed.”

“Pope!” You said, surprised. You decided to ignore his jive about your smarts. You were the smartest, besides Pope. “Are you suggesting I have a crush on John B.? My best friend?” You hissed. 

The boy shrugged, stretching out his legs. “Seems like it.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m just drunk.” You tried to come up with an excuse that’d be believable. It would explain why you were feeling these crazy, new feelings. For your best friend. 

Pope laughed, staring at the sea pulling it’s waves back and pushing them forward over the sand. “No your not.” He glanced at you, and look that said, ‘you’re crazy’. He smiled, pointing a finger at you. “I know you. You only get flirty drunk like that on your sixth drink. You haven’t even had four.”

You gaped. God, nothing got past this boy. “Ugh.” You shoved his shoulder. “I hate you.”

“Why do you hate him?” John B. asked, handing you a red cup. You thanked him, sniffing it, and deciding it was strong enough to make you forget the kiss and your strange feelings, took a big sip. 

“He was attacking my intelligence.” You pouted, covering quickly. 

Your best friend laughed. “Don’t worry, he’s just jealous you’re smarter.”

You grinned at the compliment, not fully getting that it was a compliment until you turned to Pope triumphantly. Your triumph faded quickly into awkwardness as heat crawled up your cheeks. Pope’s eyebrows were raised and he was giving you a pointed look. John B. just complimented you and you blushed. Blushed like you had a crush. But John did that a lot. He was a nice person who complimented people. This was no different. Right?

You cleared your throat, licking your lips. The air suddenly turned tense, something that never happened when you were with the crew. Not even when JJ blatantly hit on you and Kie. Honestly, you loved watching JJ hit on you when he knew the rule and knew that that door was closed. You loved JJ like a brother. Plus, you always secretly shipped him and Kie. 

“Uh, I think I’m going to find Kie.” You said, standing and sliding your sandy feet into your white flip flops. 

You hurried away, quick to spot your curly haired BFF. You honestly thought Kie was your sister and you’d just been separated at birth. She knew everything about you. You were soulmates. You knew each other inside out. And understood each other. You’re bond was unbreakable. 

“(Y/N)!” Kie giggled, grinning wildly at you. 

You joined her around a fire JJ was currently nursing into a roaring flame. You laughed as he jumped back from a flame that decided to leap out at him. Kie kissed your cheek and poached you drink, taking a huge sip before blinking and sputtering a bit. She handed it back. 

“Shit, that is strong!” 

You laughed. “Yeah, sorry- there wasn’t a warning label.”

She grins, and then frowns. “What’s wrong.”

See, the girl knew you. You sighed, taking your own massive swig of the drink. JJ eyed you, brows raised. 

“Something she obviously wants to forget.” He muttered, letting the fire do it owns thing.

“Yep!” You chirped, halfway to the point of drunk haze where you kissed a random boy, and danced wildly. 

“Slow down there, cowboy.” JJ commented, taking the cup from your hands. 

“What is it, (Y/N)?” Kie asked, brows furrowed. 

You shook your head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Honestly, I don’t think I could explain it!” You moved your hips to the beat. 

You spun, taking your drink back from JJ’s hands and danced the beat of the music that was faraway. You spotted John B. and Pope talking on the log you fled. You swallowed hard and admired your best friend as his head tipped back in one of his big laughs. He was grinning from ear to ear, the look of pure happiness lighting up his face. He looked so good when he smiled. 

Maybe you did have a crush on John B.

[angelictaehyun]

PAIRING: guardian angel!taehyun x fem!reader

GENRE: guardian angel au, soulmate au, fluff, angst

WC. 8,400+

WARNINGS: major character(s) illness, minor alcohol usage, mild language

SYNOPSIS: Kang Taehyun, a sassy, young guardian angel, didn’t think anyone could be more of an absolute mess… boy, was he mistaken.

PART ONE || PART TWO || INTERLUDE || PART THREE

.

taehyun was right, something you didn’t care much to admit. 

you absolutely adored kai. 

if you searched “lovable younger brother” in a dictionary, no doubt kai’s picture would appear beside the definition. he was childish, a bit odd, sweet as honey, and outstandingly attentive. the dynamic was quite different with him. he was just as protective and loving as taehyun, but there was a complete lack of emotional attachment. 

you found it refreshing. 

with taehyun, it was almost like you were drawn to each other both physically and mentally as if a string were pulling you together. the longer you remained apart, the more you hurt, but you hid it as best as possible— kai was bright and bubbly, you didn’t like the idea of him seeing anything less than that. 

you fiddled with the fabric of your blanket, mind full of incoherent thoughts, while kai engrossed himself with the movie on the television screen. lately, you often found yourself like this— detached and numb. however, if there was one person to reel you back from the empty feeling, it was kai. you watched him with a fond smile. you were thankful for the young boy, just being in his high-spirited presence, seeing his smile, hearing his obnoxiously loud laugh... it made things hurt just a little less.

“hey, kai?”

he turned his head slightly but kept his eyes glued to the screen, “yeah, what’s up?”

“i think i’m going to turn in, i’m getting sleepy,” you mumbled quietly.

your cracked, dull voice didn’t slip past him. he was concerned of course, but you were hesitant to let him in, to let down your barriers. he sighed to himself before giving you his full attention along with a soft smile, “okay. goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.”

“sweet dreams,” you repeated.

“actually wait, y/n. uh, i just wanted to tell you that i know i’m not him... but i’m always here to talk if you want,” he stated shyly. you felt guilty. you wanted to let him in, really, but everything hurt all the time and you just didn’t have the energy. he didn’t know how much you wanted to talk to him, to cry on his shoulder, to eat copious amounts of ice cream with him, but you were hesitant. hesitant and very much in pain, both mentally and physically.

you simply nodded your head in acknowledgment and gave a soft smile before making your way to your bedroom. you climbed into your bed and wrapped a plush quilt around your feverishly warm body which contrasted the cold, empty bed. you clutched onto a plushie and tried to drive away the negative thoughts, but to no avail, they plagued your mind once again.

just forget about him, he’s never coming back.

you laid there, fiddling with the sheets beneath you, hesitant to fall asleep. lately, you absolutely despised sleeping. your unconscious mind enjoyed playing cruel tricks on you, constantly making you dream of taehyun. the dreams mocked you, reminded you that he would never come home. you hated the moments right after waking up. for a few minutes, you were able to lay in bed, believing everything was alright, that there was no heartbreak or loss. you missed being held by him, having his warmth beside you as he played with your hair and hummed a sweet melody. it never failed to lull you to sleep— his touch was always soothing.

you both came such a long way.

going against every bone in your body, you squeezed your eyes shut and let yourself indulge in the memory of the first time he ever held you close.

taehyun sat on your bedroom floor, irritated and resentful, as you turned on high school musical for the fourth time in the span of thirty-six hours. he narrowed his eyes and flashed you an exhausted, disgusted gaze but you failed to notice, your head easily hidden in the mountain of plushies, tear-stained tissues, and blankets on your bed. you had an annoying habit of mumbling along to the movie and singing— more like yelling— along to the musical numbers. you had the vocal abilities of a brick and he promised himself that if he had to listen to your off-key, horrid singing one more time, he would tear his beloved wings out. he settled himself on the edge of your bed, picking away at the stuffed animals and blankets surrounding you.

“y/n... talk to me. please,” he begged. he was hoping to distract you from the movie and forcing you to speak was the only way he truly knew how. 

you paused the movie and snapped, “leave me alone.”

“see, here’s the thing. i can’t exactly ‘leave you alone’ since it’s quite literally my job to constantly be by your side,” he reminded you smugly. you peaked your head out from under the blankets and threw him a lethal glare. he threw his hands up and surrendered, “fine. have it your way. can you at least move over so i can watch too?”

you sighed before unwrapping yourself from your makeshift blanket burrito and scooting to the side. you sat shoulder to shoulder as an awkward silence fell over the room. he inhaled sharply and glanced at your expectantly but not before mentally preparing himself for your random musical outbursts.

“well, what are you waiting for? ...press play.”

if there was anything worse than your singing, it was your crying and boy, were you doing a lot of crying... you were always a sucker for romantic movies. you clutched your hands to your chest, happy tears spilling over as the ending credits rolled. though, you were quickly brought out of your post-movie haze as you felt light taps on your head. you slowly turned to the side to see taehyun awkwardly patting you, his amusing but unhelpful way of comforting you.

yeah... this doesn’t seem right, he thought to himself.

he retracted his hand only to hesitantly circle his arm around your shoulder and pull you into him. you immediately tensed yet you didn’t pull away, the reasoning beyond you. you adored how he smelled like sweet cinnamon and gingerbread; you did your best to ignore the way his scent made your heart flutter. he cringed to himself before squeezing you tighter— he wasn’t much for physical affection. god, the things he did for this job.

you opened your eyes and shook your head fondly at the memory, a humorless laugh escaping your lips— it was amusing how awkward and hesitant you both were. you tried conjuring more memories but your tired eyes fluttered shut and your mind went blank. in that moment, a dull ache manifested in your chest but you paid no mind, sleep washing over you quickly.

· ──────────────────── ·

the following morning, you woke not to the soft sunlight streaming through the window, but to the sharp pain in your lungs which encroached on your ability to breathe. you gripped your pillow harshly and let out a muffled sob, attempting to relieve some of the pain. unfortunately, this had become a common development, so you tried your best to ignore the pain and hide it, especially in front of kai. you didn’t want to worry his pretty head, especially when telling him wouldn’t relieve any of the pain, it would just make the both of you miserable. you slowly rolled out of bed, trudging into your bathroom to wash your face. you wanted to maintain some semblance of normalcy, it kept you grounded and your mind off of taehyun. you found the pain usually subsided the longer the day went on, so you did your best to cope.

you tried ignoring kai’s heinously loud snores as you trudged out the front door. his body was curled up on the wooden flooring of your living room, hidden underneath his iridescent wings as if it were a substitute blanket. you glanced at his bedroom, which was less than six feet away, and sighed. his ability to sleep anywhere was amusing, though a bit concerning.

lately, kai had taken a liking, though you would argue obsession, to cold brew. it was partially your fault though, your caffeine dependency had exponentially increased, consequently rubbing off on him. being the good older sister you were, plus the fact that once again, you woke up at an ungodly hour, you decided to run a few errands and pick up coffee for you both before he woke up.

you dragged your exhausted body into the nearby café, the scent of java and freshly baked goods waking you up instantly. beomgyu stood behind the counter, a sunny smile already plastered on his face as if he were waiting for you.

“ah, you’re late! i was starting to worry i wouldn’t get to see my favorite customer today,” he mused, a cheeky grin appearing on his stunning features. that handsome face and lively personality reeled in a lot of tips, you just knew it. though, he reserved his extra friendly smile for you, or at least that’s what he told you. seeing you, an old friend from high school, was always a highlight of his shift. you were one of the few reasons he enjoyed working the morning rush.

before you could comprehend his statement, he continued, “same order, right?”

you gave him a half-hearted smile and nodded, hesitant to speak as you feared your hoarse, sleep-filled voice would betray you. he flashed you a small wink and turned around. he danced behind the counter, humming to himself quietly as he made your iced coffee. he was always so full of energy, even in grade school— age didn’t change that fact. you watched as he gracefully poured sweet cream into your cup, the coffee turning light brown— just the way you liked it.

“y/n.”

you admired the way the milk cascaded down the plastic cup and blended with the coffee. it distracted you from the ache in your chest.

“y/n,” beomgyu repeated, snapping his nimble fingers in front of your face, breaking you out of your haze. you were so embarrassed.

“oh god, i’m sorry, i wasn’t paying much attention.”

“hm, i could tell,” he chuckled softly, a silvery sound you always loved hearing. he handed you the coffee and scanned the cafe before discretely sliding a sugary pastry across the counter. you tried protesting but he didn’t budge, shutting you down instantly.

“hush. lately, you’ve been out of it... ever since that boy left. trust me, i get it,” he sympathized, flashing you an understanding smile.

“thank you,” you muttered sheepishly, accepting the warm cookie.

“mhm, don’t mention it, it’s my job as a friend to make sure you’re well-fed and you’re looking a bit under the weather. i’ll see you later this week, yeah?”

you nodded softly, “of course.”

when you stepped outside, you stared at the bright sky and let the sun warm your skin, happily relishing the moment. you didn’t know much about angels, save for the fact that they exist, but you liked to think taehyun sat perched on a cloud and watched over you.

when you arrived home, the scent of burnt food was the first thing you were greeted with. dirty dishes were splayed out across your kitchen island and bits of pancake batter stuck to the walls. a nervous kai stood in front of the stove, attempting to not burn another pancake and easily failing. you set the coffee on the countertop and sighed, “kai, what are you doing?”

“hey! y/n! wow, you’re back so soon! how was the café?” he asked, hoping he could steer clear of the upcoming scolding but much like the pancakes, failing miserably. you didn’t answer his question, rather you studied the messy room, eyes instantly landing on an unused fire extinguisher. your eyebrows lifted curiously.

“... just in case,” he explained. he shrunk in on himself and shifted uncomfortably. he didn’t want to upset you, especially not when you were heartbroken. you nodded your head understandingly, chuckling to yourself as you began preparing a bowl of pancake batter.

he seemed stunned, “you... don’t seem mad at me...”

“ah, you were just trying to make us a nice breakfast! why do you think i’d be mad?”

“oh... i don’t know, i just thought you’d be upset,” he mumbled softly. in response, you smiled mischievously before dipping a finger into the batter and swiping a bit on his nose. he grinned in return, taking his own handful and splattering it on your cheek.

“oh, you’re definitely gonna pay for that,” you challenge.

he stood on his tip-toes and stuck his tongue out childishly, “you’re going to have to reach me first.”

you both giggled and played until there was more pancake on your clothes than on the stove. he might have been a couple centuries old but he had such a young and active spirit. his smile was outstandingly bright and it brought you so much joy. because of him, for the first time in a long while, your smile was genuine and you couldn’t feel any pain.

· ──────────────────── ·

you were quite wrong. 

taehyun wasn’t sat atop a cloud. instead, he was curled up on soobin’s old couch with a scorching fever. he shook violently, the pain overwhelming him, but all he could focus on was the thought of you. he thought about your crinkly eyes when you laughed at one of his stupid jokes, the small bites you took from your food and the way you insisted it helped you savor the food when really you were just picky. he thought about the way you always clutched onto his shirt when he kissed you, the way you couldn’t help but sob at a sad commercial, and the way you would try to hide your blush when he flirted with you. though, the thought that occupied his mind the most was your vibrant smile. god, your smile. it was art. it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and he’d seen the world; he’d been alive during the renaissance but he thought your smile outdid any piece. he would’ve done anything to see it again. the thought of you broke his heart, shattered him into little pieces, but he couldn’t stop.

he groaned in agony, grasping at the seams of the nearest pillow. soobin watched the younger from the opposite side of the room, a worried expression painted across his face, “jesus tae, what the hell is wrong with you?”

taehyun ignored the question, the dull ache in his head muffled the older’s voice anyways.

“you’ve been like this for months, this is not a normal breakup,” soobin continued. it was true, ever since he left you, his health had been deteriorating to the point where soobin knew this wasn’t just heartbreak, it was something beyond that. taehyun wondered how you were faring, he hoped you were doing better than him. he was clueless, the only thing soobin told him was that you were a little under the weather— understatement of the decade.

“bub, something is seriously wrong. angels shouldn’t get this sick. you need help. i’m sure someone will know what to do,” soobin assured hopefully. the older shook his head helplessly, his mind trying to run through all the potential reasonings for the sickness. he hated seeing taehyun this way.

taehyun might not have known much, but he knew what would at least quell the pain. though selfish, something an angel should never be, he knew he had to see you.

· ──────────────────── ·

your condition went to shit almost overnight.

kai had tried everything: tea, warm baths, herbs, all sorts of therapeutic techniques, and every single medication on the planet. none of it helped in the slightest. the pain which had started in your chest had spread downward, running from your ribs to your lower extremities. your sickness was working it’s way out, slowly overtaking your body, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. even the doctors couldn’t find a solution. while kai spent most of his time frantically scrounging for new healing techniques and medication, he was often found right beside you, attached at the hip— something you hadn’t experienced since taehyun. kai always held your hair back when you puked, wrapped you in blankets when you shivered, and prepared soup for you when your throat was sore— albeit the food was near inedible. he was the perfect guardian angel. he loved you so much, he didn’t know what he’d do if he lost you.

kai was out, once again, fetching a random medication that he didn’t even think would work, but he told himself it was better than nothing. it pained him to leave you alone, but he knew he had to try. you, on the other hand, made a beeline for the wine bottle you kept hidden in the back of your pantry, the second kai shut the front door. you liked to think you were handling your heartbreak well, or at least masked it flawlessly. looking back on your breakup with yeonjun, you scolded yourself for handling it so childishly. with taehyun, though not necessarily a normal breakup per se, it was far more unbearable yet you handled it... maturely. or at least that’s what you told yourself. you plastered on a false facade of normalcy, keeping everything bottled up, ignoring the little voice in your head that told you this was an unhealthy way to cope. but looking at the bright side, at least you were functioning and there wasn’t a disgusting pile of used tissues growing beside your bed.

this particular night was the only time, for just a few freeing minutes, you didn’t hurt. the pain subsided and was pushed to the back of your mind— all thanks to the light buzz of the alcohol. you stood on your small balcony, wine glass in hand, staring out into the cold darkness of the night. your mind was a bit fuzzy and despite the frigidness of the air, you felt warm.

“taehyunie... i miss you so much,” you giggled to yourself. not often you called him by that nickname but you knew he secretly loved it. you leaned carelessly against the edge of your balcony and looked to the heavens, mumbling taehyun’s name until you were shouting. a part of you hoped that repeatedly calling his name into the darkness of the night would bring him back to you— much like the bloody mary tactic.

you closed your eyes and tried again, “taehyun!”

your mind was too fuzzy to acknowledge the glow burning beside you. before you could comprehend the situation, a hand was roughly tugging you away from the balcony. you were instantly pressed against the glass door behind you, the wine bottle getting ripped from your hands easily. your vision was blurry but the second his figure came back into view, your vision became clear as day. taehyun stood in front of you, as beautiful as always, but noticeably paler and thinner— even his wings lost their captivating glow.

“jesus y/n, are you trying to wake the entire apartment complex, what are you doing?”

his presence was immediately sobering.

you were at a complete loss of words, too stunned by his presence to speak. he hovered over you protectively which eased your mind and heart. he stood so close to you, practically sharing the same air. it was unbelievable. you slowly brought your hand up to his face, too scared to move any faster in fear that he might vanish into thin air. maybe this was a lovely fever dream, but the way he let out a shaky breath and wrapped his hand around your small wrist told you otherwise. he was finally with you, his home, after so many weeks apart.

you threw your arms around his neck and gasped, “i can’t believe it worked.” 

he immediately wrapped his strong arms around your frame and breathed you in. he missed your warm hugs, the way you always smelled like lavender and fabric softener, and he especially missed the way you fit perfectly in his arms like he was meant to hold you. holding you was like holding a piece of his heart. he rested his chin on the crown of your head, closing his eyes momentarily before opening them once more and shaking his head, “wait, wait, what worked?”

“oh! i called your name until you appeared.”

he tucked a couple of loose strands of hair behind your ear and cooed, “silly girl, that’s not how it works.”

a light blush painted your cheeks, a bit embarrassed for thinking that was the reason he came. he chuckled softly and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before continuing, “i was already on my way here, i just needed to make sure you were okay. but i don’t have long, soobin will notice i’m gone.”

you nodded slowly, the weight of his words sinking in and stinging. he brushed one hand against your cheeks, tracing over your cheekbone lightly while his other hand gripped your waist, “let me kiss you.”

his bluntness shocked you but you didn’t shy away. his eyes flitted around your face, wanting to capture every detail before he kissed you. when he finally leaned in and pressed his plush lips on yours, it felt like oxygen returning to your lungs after holding your breath for so long. the sounds of the cars driving below, people chatting amongst themselves, airplanes flying above— it was all silenced, the only thing that mattered was him. all he could feel, see, touch, breathe... it was all you. the unspoken finality settled in the space around you, telling you it would be your last kiss. you didn’t notice the tears slowly streaming down your face until you tasted salt on your lips, but that didn’t stop him, if anything it drove him to kiss you deeper.

he wanted to kiss all the tears and pain away. 

he pulled away to wipe his thumbs under your eyes, catching the loose tears as they fell uncontrollably. he didn’t fare much better as his vision became blurry but he tried to hold it in as best as possible. you clutched onto his shirt and let reality sink in, both acknowledging that this would be the last time in each other’s touch. your cheeks were puffy and flushed red. he couldn’t help but smile— your raw beauty was enchanting.

“i love you. i’ll always love you,” you whispered, voice hoarse from the crying. he wiped the tears from your cheeks. you leaned into his touch wanting to savor every second.

“you are the love of my life. i might not be by your side anymore, but one day, i will be. i know it. i’ll come back to you and we’ll be together again. i promise you i’ll never lose hope,” he declared, pressing a long kiss to your forehead.

“please don’t go. please. just stay with me,” you begged, desperately grabbing his hands in a final plea.

“babygirl, i have to go, i shouldn’t be here,” he whispered softly. he hated hurting you. he absolutely hated himself for it, for having to leave you. your body racked with sobs as he pressed a final kiss to your lips, “goodbye, my love.”

and in a flash of light, he was gone.

your hands grabbed at nothing but air. you stared ahead at the lively city beneath you, a stark contrast to the dead, lonely emptiness you felt. his sweet cinnamon scent still lingered in the air around you and you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to relish in the last bit of him you’d ever get. unfortunately, the moment didn’t last long as a searing pain shot through your body causing you to double over in pain, the white behind your eyes quickly turning black.

· ──────────────────── ·

the harsh fluorescent lighting cast down upon you in the most unpleasant manner as you groggily woke from your deep slumber. your eyes trained on the ceiling above you which was littered with old water stains and peeled paint. your mind ran wild with frantic thoughts but was quickly silenced by a pain shooting down your left arm. the cardiac monitor beside you mirrored the panic you felt, the tempo of your heartbeat increasing with each rushed thought and you suddenly became increasingly aware of the needle stuck in your arm and the rough sheets scratching your bare legs.

“hey, y/n, shh everything is alright. you’re in the hospital,” a familiar voice explained.

you craned your neck towards the sound, wincing from the dull ache in your neck. your vision was a bit hazy but you could still see the outline of a thin boy sitting on the hospital bed beside you.

“don’t move too much, you’re pretty bruised up,” he continued.

you quickly distinguished the soothing, deep voice, “... beomgyu?”

“hi princess. shh, don’t strain your voice, you’ve been out for a couple days now. you need some water,” he stated softly and you could hear the concern laced in his voice. your vision sharped, landing on his bright yellow sweater. he stood out like a sore thumb, especially considering the drabness of the hospital.

“beom, what are you doing here?”

“ah, i’m your guardian angel of course! i have to watch over you,” he joked cheekily.

your eyes practically bulged out of your head and you were left at a loss of words, no, this can’t be real.

“... jeez y/n, i’m kidding. obviously, angels don’t exist,” he clarified, scrunching his nose concerningly. you flashed him a small smile and mustered up a nervous laugh in response. if he noticed any hesitancy from you, he didn’t mention it.

“right... anyways, i’m here because you haven’t shown up at the café in a few days and also i’m your emergency contact. remember?”

your mind flashed back to a very blurry night, where both of you made silly promises and spilled drunken confessions. you were fighting with yeonjun, yet again, and you ran to beomgyu’s apartment crying. he comforted you with alcohol, ice cream, and poorly plotted movies. you both felt alone, having only each other to rely on, so you both made a pact to always be there for each other. step one was making each other your emergency contacts, though, you didn’t quite get to step two, considering you both passed out on his living room floor.

“... huh, that was so long ago,” you mumbled.

“yeah, you’re telling me, thank god yeonjun’s ass is out of your life, i still can’t believe he cheated on you,” he grumbled angrily. you simply hummed in agreeance.

silence filled the room as both of you reminisced on old times. a part of you wished you could go back, and though you fought with yeonjun quite a bit, it was far less painful than what you experienced now. you tried to ignore the sadness, letting your eyes study the environment. the room was cramped but homey, the warm sunshine that streamed through the windows reflected off the white walls comfortingly. the hospital floor you were on was quite high up, the sky seemed closer to you than usual. you let a soft sigh escape your lips as you watched a puffy cloud float by. your thoughts ran loose again but the one thought that stood out the most was about him— the boy you had lost. muffled sounds traveled through your ears but you didn’t process them until beomgyu called your name.

“... and y/n, you’re pretty lucky, i think that boy of yours came back! you’re totally right, he’s really cute. he’s been attached to your side but i think he’s out talking to the doctor right now,” beomgyu rambled on.

his statement captured your full attention. your heart fluttered at the thought of taehyun being back by your side. you eagerly shifted your gaze towards the door, awaiting his return, completely ignoring the throbbing ache at the nape of your neck. your vision was still blurred but you were able to distinguish the tall, lanky frame of a boy trudging through the door.

“oh! perfect timing, here he is!”

“y/n!” the boy excitedly shouted. kai’s voice was unmistakable and you despised the way your heart dropped, just slightly. he’d been your rock for the past couple months. you were unfair, even now, when all kai did was diligently watch over you and love you. he hovered over your injured body, grabbing your hand to hold against his chest. you could see the obvious glint of worry in his eyes, he truly did care for you.

“you’re okay...” kai whispered softly. he sat on the edge of your bed and circled his thumbs over your hands soothingly. he turned to face beomgyu, “hey, thanks for watching over her while i was out, i appreciate it.”

beomgyu wasn’t blind. he knew this wasn’t the boy who broke your heart, the boy that would never come back. he watched your body deflate when kai stepped into the room, hope leaving your body. he flashed kai a cheery yet guilty smile, “yeah of course! y/n and i go way back, i’ll always look out for her.”

kai directed his attention back to you, noting the slight confusion and panic you held despite being around people you loved and cared for. he nodded his head understandingly, “two nights ago, i came home to find you unconscious on your balcony. your body was so cold but for some reason, your forehead was really hot. i brought your here for testing but the doctor can’t find anything wrong with you. they said your brain activity and vitals are normal, not to mention the fact that you have shown no physical symptoms. i tried to convince them to keep you here so they can monitor you but they’re sending you home.”

your body relaxed as you processed the information. your illness, whatever it was, didn’t concern you as much as it should have. it’s not that you didn’t care but the gravity of your situation hadn’t fully settled in. your physical appearance, though sickly and pale, fared much better in comparison to your internal health. your lungs were caving in on itself and your heart was becoming significantly weaker. you never got better, only worse, and kai blamed himself. he knew something was off yet he kept his distance, not wanting to upset you. he didn’t know that his efforts were a waste and nothing he did would help.

kai shuffled around the small room and let you sleep once more but you couldn’t. instead, you kept your eyes shut and listened to the easy, casual banter between the two boys, both forming an instant connection. it warmed your dying heart. you so badly wished you could be that person for kai— a reliable friend, a confidant. even though he was the guardian angel, you did your best to look out for him as he did you, you just preferred doing it from a safe distance. he treated you like family, like an older sister, but your relationship arguably should’ve been a lot closer for the time you spent together. you pushed him away and built unnecessary walls, and what was the point? your heart was heavy but it wasn’t from your illness nor was it from the heartbreak you felt— it was from the guilt of shutting out the one person that loved you unconditionally.

after a few hours of faux sleep and trying to contain your smile from the sound of the boy’s muffled laughter, you were discharged and brought home. kai insisted on carrying you from the car, up the stairs, and into your warm bed, refusing to leave your side for even a split second. if you moved, he would follow you around the apartment like a lost puppy. it was heartwarming, the amount of compassion a single soul could carry. yes, kai was an angel, but his ability to love and empathize was beyond any supernatural explanation— it was just the way he was built.

he sat beside you and wrapped you tightly in a blanket, “are you feeling any better? do you want anything? i can go make us some snacks if you want.”

you softly smiled and shook your head, “no, it’s alright. i think i just want to rest. maybe i’ll get some homework out of the way or i’ll just go back to sleep.”

the thought was quickly retracted when something lodged in your throat, coughing only worsening the feeling. kai rushed to grab a towel and watched helplessly as you hacked into the soft fabric, rubbing your back in an attempt to comfort you. when you pulled away, both pairs of eyes directed to the blood splattered across the towel, though before either one of you could react, a white-hot pain overwhelmed your body. your heaved breathes struggled to escape your lips but your agonized scream didn’t. you clutched onto his t-shirt before collapsing into his lap, knocking out cold.

· ──────────────────── ·

after six panic-filled calls with kai, soobin frantically paced around his house— a nice perk of being an elder angel with a lack of guardianship duties. honestly, his job description was pretty vague. he spent most of his time wandering the earth and enjoying the beauty it had to offer. he didn’t have to watch over a human, rather, he watched over younger angels, making sure they performed their jobs correctly, and on the rare occasion, having to strip wings if an angel went buck wild and succumbed to sin.  

taehyun’s symptoms were less severe due to his supernatural status— the effects of illness would manifest slower. sure, there were a few times he did nothing but writhe in agony... but it wasn’t as often as you. he was more or less deteriorating from the outside, the illness working its way in. he was concerningly pale and what once was smooth, hydrated skin was now dry. the rosy, soft lips he used to kiss you with were now severely chapped but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. it was rare that taehyun slept, even with you. he preferred to watch over you, stroking your hair and pressing kisses along your shoulders while you dreamt, but lately, he’d been so drained of energy and all he could do was sleep.

soobin watched the younger curl up and shiver despite being under three wool blankets. something about this specific situation seemed oddly familiar to soobin— the way both you and taehyun were deteriorating at an alarming rate. the sickness worked oppositely amongst the two of you, his illness painfully manifesting exteriorly and working its way in versus your illness which began internally. similarly, your pain stemmed from the torso and worked its way to your extremities while his began in his limbs and worked its way up to his chest. it was the same disease but it worked inversely, and soobin, for the love of god, could not pinpoint why he felt like he’d seen this before.

soobin hesitantly made his way onto his back patio, wanting the younger to sleep in peace. the chill air was refreshing especially with taehyun’s rising body temperature warming the living room, making it insufferable. he plopped onto his old, rickety rocking chair and closed his eyes, drowning out everything but the bird’s chirping. the wind lightly brushed against his skin comfortingly and he welcomed the gentle touch. it was calming, the way the leaves rustled amongst the golden sky— he wished the world was always this peaceful and serene. a small brush against his ankles revived him from his near-sleep state. when he peered down, there was nothing but the wooden boards under his feet but he swore he felt a distinct touch. a lightbulb flickered in his mind.

“oh shit.”

as if the world was falling apart, he scrambled back into his house, realizing the familiarity of the situation.

“taehyun, taehyun, you need to wake up,” he shook aggressively. taehyun didn’t budge, instead, he let out a small, annoyed grunt of acknowledgment. soobin continued, “taehyun, you need to get up. i know why you’re sick.”

the declaration seemed to wake the younger but he didn’t display much enthusiasm due to his unabated exhaustion. he cautiously opened one eye and grumbled as if that sufficed as a good response.

soobin scratched the back of his neck and continued nervously, “um, well, you see... you’re... soulmates.”

taehyun slowly sat up and leaned against his elbows, narrowing his eyes in disbelief. he shook his head, he’s kidding, right?

“no, i’m being completely serious,” soobin deadpanned as if he could read the younger’s thoughts.

“fine, humor me.”

“god, it was such a long time ago, but when i was young, i went to a beach. wait. no, it was the woods. yeah, the woods because there was a willow tree. anyways, it was windy and—”

taehyun quickly cut him off, “bin, you’re rambling and not making any sense.”

soobin inhaled deeply, regaining his thoughts before starting again, “okay, when i was younger, i came across an old, prophetic-like scripture. it told a story of soulmates that were separated from each other and because they weren’t together, their physical and mental state deteriorated. uh, there was also something off about the ending... it was pretty wack. it kind of warned me about another set of soulmates... i don’t really know how to explain it, but i think you and her are the next set.”

taehyun audibly scoffed. a bewildered expression covered his face as he eyed the older as if he weren’t in his right mind.

“hyung... soulmates... hate to break it to you, but they... don’t exist,” taehyun tried explaining slowly, hoping his pace would make soobin understand.

“aiya, stop talking to me like i’m a child. i didn’t believe it either but it makes sense. you both have this weird, mysterious illness that’s only getting worse but the only time you felt a bit better was when you saw her a few weeks ago. and yeah, before you say anything, i know about that. you’re the worst at lying.”

taehyun deflated into the couch but not before a harsh coughing fit. his lungs felt so restricted and the air felt thinner.

“hyung, i think i’m dying,” he stated weakly.

“no shit.”

the entirety of this situation crushed soobin. one of his oldest friends, the young boy that loved him like a brother, was dying. it was so painful to watch but he didn’t feel helpless anymore, he knew exactly what to do.

“get up. let’s go see y/n.”

taehyun perked up, just slightly, his energy too drained he could barely move. the older dragged him off the couch and wrapped a wing around the sick boy, trying to keep his shivering, weak body warm.

· ──────────────────── ·

much like soobin, kai was frantically pacing back and forth when the oldest dragged taehyun’s limp body through your front door. sunshine streamed through your windows, brightening the room yet everything felt dull as if all the life and energy in the room were slowly seeping out of the apartment.

“um, she’s in her room,” kai mumbled worriedly.

just from that small interaction, taehyun could see how scared the youngest was, how much he loved and cared for you. he felt grateful and indebted to kai; he was so glad that you had someone like kai watching over you, especially if he was unable to. with little energy, taehyun trudged to your room, the other two boys following closely behind. he opened the door slowly, heart absolutely shattering when his eyes landed on your pale and gaunt frame. he could’ve sworn he could see droplets of dried blood at the corners of your mouth. though as ill as you seemed, he couldn’t help the swell of love and energy that surged through his chest now that he was breathing the same air as you. he practically ran to your bed and enveloped your smaller frame in his. he wrapped his arms around your waist and breathed in the lovely lavender scent he’d grown so fond of.

the other boys coughed lightly, feeling a bit like they had stumbled in on a personal moment. taehyun paid no mind to them though, especially not when you looked so beautiful sleeping. he lightly nudged your arm to wake you but when you didn’t move, he peered down at you concerningly.

“hyung, she hasn’t woken up in the past five hours and i’ve tried everything. the only thing i know is that she’s breathing,” kai clarified.

he was right. you were still breathing but it was so faint and shallow, he shed a tear. you were so lifeless and his heart skipped a beat when you took a bit longer than usual to inhale.

“she’s dying,” taehyun whispered to no one in particular. he pulled you against his chest tightly in a weak attempt to warm your frigid body. he stroked your hair and weakly hummed a sweet song, something he always did when you slept.

“bin, why isn’t she waking up? i’m right next to her, i’m holding her in my arms like i always do... she should be awake,” he sobbed. he felt like he was on the brink of insanity, having you so close yet so far. once again, soobin stood helplessly and picked at his fingers nervously. he really had no idea what to do. he thought that being with you would fix everything but it didn’t.

kai spoked up first after a few moments of painful silence, “hyung, i think you need to lose your wings.”

soobin and taehyun glanced at each other before throwing kai a confused look, both intelligently questioning, “... huh?”

“think about it, it makes sense. you might physically be next to her but you can’t truly be with her while you have your wings. with them, you’ll always have something standing between the two of you,” kai explained diligently. soobin stood dumbfounded, the cogs in his mind turning exceptionally slow.

“i think... he’s right. aw, when did you get so smart, huh?” soobin cheekily asked, ruffling the youngest boy’s hair. kai brushed his hand away playfully, blushing softly at the newfound attention.

taehyun felt your body temperature drop and he wrapped you firmly in a quilt. “take them. i don’t want them anyways, not if it means a life without her,” he whispered.

“tae, it’s not that easy, your wings can’t just be taken away in a snap, there’s a process for this. it’s all very... bureaucratic. an elder angel has to approve,” soobin explained softly, not wanting to upset the younger.

“well, it’s a good thing you’re practically ancient, heck, you were alive to have a crush on cleopatra,” kai joked, trying his best to lighten up the somber mood.

“wait, kai has a point. you’re like, a thousand years old, and you’ve been an elder angel for a couple of centuries now. this isn’t some random case of an angel gone wild, the both of us will actually die. please soobin,” taehyun begged shamelessly. the desperate plea broke soobin’s heart.

“you’ll be mortal again, an average human... you’ll die one day,” soobin reminded while slowly inching towards the bed. taehyun glanced down at your sleeping figure, tracing his large hand over your arm. he understood the cost but he didn’t care. he’d been ready to give up his wings long before he met you, but now he had a reason. he brushed the wisps of your hair away from your forehead before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss.

he looked at the two boys. taehyun thought they looked scared, maybe hurt, or maybe both. he flashed them an apologetic smile but truth be told, he didn’t feel sorry, especially not when it came to being with you. he took a deep breath and sighed, preparing himself for what was about to come.

“do it.”

to be frank, it hurt a lot more than it should’ve, but that was to be expected from an inexperienced elder angel. taehyun felt every single agonizing second of his wings disintegrating to nothing but dust, the only thing grounding him was the thought of you. he clutched onto your body as if you would ease his pain, but in some ways, you did. he entwined his hands with yours and buried his face in the crook of your neck as the pain grew increasingly worse. though still unconscious, your breaths grew rapid, matching his, like you were experiencing the same aching pain as him. when his wings were fully gone, soobin and kai shared the same pained expression— they had lost their brother, but the idea of taehyun’s happiness did much to quell their hurt. taehyun smiled to himself, feeling free after so long, and entangled his legs with yours. he pressed his lips to the back of your head softly before a familiar darkness washed over him, gently lulling him to sleep.

“he’ll be okay... right,” kai asked, his worried expression growing more concerned with each fleeting second.

“yeah bub, he’ll be fine. both of them will be. they have each other,” soobin gently confirmed. he circled an arm around kai’s shoulder and ruffled his hair affectionately.

“you did good, kai.”

· ──────────────────── ·

you woke up first with a dull ache between your shoulder blades and a warm body pressed against your back. you remained oblivious to his presence, your mind trying to reel in the events that occurred before you fell unconscious. the pain in your chest was practically gone and you felt lighter as if a weight had been lifted off of you.

it wasn’t until he slightly stirred behind you that you realized his presence, the familiar scent of cinnamon and nutmeg suddenly overwhelming your senses. you were scared to turn around, you almost believed it was another realistic fever dream but your instincts told you otherwise. when you looked at him, he was still asleep, his beautiful features softened by the sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains. you nearly shed a tear as you delicately traced a finger down his sharp jawline, fearing he would dissipate into thin air at even the slightest bit of pressure. he seemed livelier. his skin was clear and glowing, the apples of his cheeks were painted pink, and his overall appearance seemed healthier.

his eyes fluttered open, your gentle touches peacefully waking him up. immediately, a deep sigh of relief escaped from his lips. you weren’t just some beautiful dream; he was finally next to you, his home. you didn’t say a word but judging from your trembling lips, you couldn’t even if you wanted. your mind ran rampant but all you could think about was how you were back in his arms. you didn’t notice the tears falling until you felt the pillow beneath you dampen. he pulled you into his chest and threaded his hands through your hair, pressing gentle kisses along your forehead. your walls broke and you sobbed into his chest, overwhelmed with the grief of losing him but also with the joy of being back in his arms.

“it’s been so hard, tae. it’s been so hard without you.”

he closed his eyes and sighed, “oh baby, i know. but i’m here now and i’m never going to leave you again. i promise.”

you ran your hand along his back, stopping when you hit the area where the base of his wings usually started. even when he hid his wings, there were still two visible slits that sat between his shoulder blades, but you could neither see nor feel them anymore. you tensed and swallowed harshly, “um, where are they... where are your wings?”

you already knew the answer but his answer still shocked you.

“they’re gone... i’m not an angel anymore, but please don’t worry, i promise you i’ve wanted to be human for so long. it’s just, because of you, i finally had a good reason to give them up.” he meant every word he said. for the first time in his life, he felt free and unhindered. as an angel, he was able to see the world, meet new people and he loved it but he’d been alive for so long and as much as he truly loved caring for others, he felt lost, almost hopeless. at least until he met you.

you were confused and left with a lot of questions but you didn’t quite know what to say. he wanted to answer all of your questions but he’d gone so long without your lips on his so he leaned down to press a gentle kiss. you let a soft sigh escape, the feeling of his touch after so long was both relieving and comforting. he soothingly ran his hand along your waist, the other threading through your hair. there were so many things left unspoken but the kiss was able to say it all. when he pulled away, you were left breathless and dazed. he kept his face hovered over yours and his eyes shut, wanting to savor the moment.

“i love you,” you whispered.

he missed hearing you say those sweet words. his hand gripped your waist and he shyly smiled, “i love you too.”

honestly, you’d miss his wings, though the more you thought about it, they symbolized his immortality and his inability to truly be yours.

“so... i guess this makes you a fallen angel,” you hummed.

“i guess so since i’ve fallen for you,” he mused cheekily. you lightly pushed his shoulder, his corniness making you cringe, but you couldn’t help the obvious blush that dusted your cheeks. he chuckled softly, entwining your hands once more and pressing a light kiss to your temple. you smiled at him, realizing you were granted a second chance— a bright, wonderful future where you could grow old with him.

“i’m home,” he whispered against your skin. you let out a content sigh as you curled into his chest and closed your eyes, listening to his steady, human heartbeat.

what a beautiful way to begin the rest of your lives together.

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: The Mother Chapter 14 - Betrayal

Warnings: Some language 

Word count: 2.2k

Where it all began. 

Summary: In the penultimate chapter Mandy works with the Whitetail Militia and The Resistance to bring the Cult down, but her luck is about to run out. 

Guest OCs: Marie Campbell (FC: Fairuza Balk)

Guest Characters: Eli Palmer, Tammy Barnes, Wheaty, Mary May Fairgrave, Nick Rye, Pastor Jerome. Supernatural character that is hated.

Note: 1 more chapter until the finale. This takes place in 2012.

______________

A week has passed, and Mandy has been working with the Whitetail Militia and the Resistance to bring down the Cult. 

“What more information do you need?” Eli asks Mandy.

She sighs, “I don’t know, I have plenty of information in them. Enough to lock them all up”.

Mandy has files, and a bunch of other paperwork that is labeled as “Confidential” that is enough to bring down the Project at Eden’s Gate. 

“What more does your boss want?” Tammy asks. 

“I don’t know. I left her a few messages, telling her to contact me ASAP” she tells them, scratching the back of her neck. 

“What charges do you have on Joseph?” Eli asks, taking a seat at the table. 

She opens the paper folders, and scatters them across the table. 

“Kidnapping. Illegal Weapons and Explosions. Murder. Attempted Murder. Fraud. Attempting to do harm, and several other charges” she tells them, “This is just the tip of the iceberg”. 

“Jesus, there’s more?!?” Tammy mutters. 

She sighs, “Yup, Joseph alone has 20 charges against him. The Cult all together has 75-100 charges”. 

They all stare at all the paperwork, and files that can easily be given to her “boss” and they can have the National Guard in Hope County within a few hours. Freeing everyone from the Cult and saving Hope County. 

All her lies keep piling and piling up. One after another, one lie after another. They just keep building and building, and they never stop. 

She gathers all the paperwork together, and locks it in the glove compartment of her truck. Keeping it safe, for now. She goes to Holland Valley, to her main spot that she used to go to. 

Spread Eagle bar, she parks next to the bar and goes inside. Everyone looks over at her, the people she met when she first went to Hope County. Mary May, Nick Rye, and Pastor Jerome. 

“Well, well, well” Mary says, “Look who finally came around”. 

She sighs, “Hey guys”. 

“So, The Mother, how are you gonna try and steal my family business?!” she asks. 

“I’m not” she tells them, “I’m getting out of the Cult”. 

The 3 of them look at her in confusion. 

“No one ever leaves the Cult” Jerome tells her, “They’re too loyal to Joseph”. 

“Them peggie fuckers, don’t even try to see past Joseph and his bullshit” Nick mutters. 

She takes a seat at the bar, “Well I’ll be the first to get out, and be their ultimate traitor”. 

Mary narrows her eyes at her, “What do you mean ultimate traitor?”. 

“I wasn’t really honest with all of you, but I’m an undercover agent for the FBI” she pulls out her FBI budget setting it down on the counter. 

“I’ve been working as a double agent. Getting information on Joseph and everyone that is associated with the Project”. 

They all exchange looks. Looks of confusion, looks of miracles and expressions of hope. 

“So for the past several months, you’ve been working undercover fed to get dirt on the Project?” Mary asks, hinting at some relief in her voice. 

She nods, “That’s right, that’s why I was away with the Project for so long”. 

She further explains to them, her “job” and all the information and charges she has on everyone associated with the Cult. 

She knows what she’s doing, she knows it’s only a matter of time before the Cult finds out her “secret” and they somehow end up killing her, but she also knows with Raphael by her side and Dawana, she’ll be safe. 

An Archangel and a Voodoo Priestess as her only chance of survival against a bunch of crazy eyed hillbilly fuckers.  

Chuck can’t see what she's doing. He sees another her, alongside with the Cult, kinda like an illusion or a clone of her that only he can see. 

It’s only a temporary thing until she can get herself out of Hope County, or somehow save the small town. 

*****

An hour later, behind the Lamb of God church, near the river Mandy prays to her Archangel. 

“Hey Raph, where are you?” she starts, “I’m helping out the others and you said you’d heck in on me within a couple days, and it’s been a week”. 

She waits for his response. Might’ve been a delay because after 5 minutes he finally shows up. 

“I heard your prayer” he tells her, “The connection between Heaven radio and Earth is lagging behind”. 

“It’s fine” she replies, shrugging, “So how is everything looking down here from up in Heaven?”. 

He sighs, “Everything is looking fine. For now”. She narrows her eyes at him, concern on her face. 

“What do you mean ‘for now??’.” she questions him. 

He gives her a serious look, “Your spell worked, but God will grow suspicious”. 

Slightly shaking her head, “What do you mean?! I thought you said he can see another me working with the Project while I, the real me, works against the Project?!”. 

“He can, but God knows when something is off. He may not see it now, but eventually he will” he tells her, “ and it won’t be good at all. So I suggest you do as much work as you can before something bad happens”. 

Mandy can feel the stress of this whole situation, before she couldn’t, but now the stress is really on. 

“What else can I do?!” she mutters, feeling herself tense up. 

“Work against them” he tells her, “I’ll figure something out”. 

She looks at the ground, stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets. She looks up at the Archangel and asks “What did you really hear that day?”. 

He tilts his head in confusion, “What day?” he asks her. 

“That day at the church. I know you told me that if you tried to get me out of it, or if I tried to betray the Project, you’ll be cast out of Heaven, losing your wings and grace. But I think there was something else, Chuck had said”. 

He looks down, sighing “Yes, Father did say that, but Joseph wasn’t able to hear him say that because he knew I was in his head, listening to his thoughts. He did say something else, and it was that if you tried to betray, or somehow screw this up”. 

“He’ll kill me” she says, throwing her head back.

“No” he says, “He’ll get your daughters involved. Giving them their own story, as he puts it”. 

Her eyes widened, “What?!” she exclaims, “And you’re just telling me this now?!”. 

“I didn’t know how to tell you” he defends himself, “I was more concerned about my loyalty to my Father”. 

She scoffs, shaking her head, “Well he’s gonna give my kids their own story because of my betrayal”. Her voice breaking, her hands on her hips, pacing out of nervousness. 

He takes a few steps towards her, “He doesn’t know about the spell. You are off his radar, he can only see the version of you that is at Joseph’s compound, right now, at this very moment”. 

He places his hand on her shoulder, and teleports them to Joseph’s church. They’re completely invisible to everyone. She sees the other version of her that God can see from Heaven. 

“Is that her, or me. The other me, the clone?!?” she asks him. 

“Yes, she can’t see us. Neither can the others” he informs her. 

They watch Joseph giving yet another sermon to his followers. Clone Mandy standing next to him, along with Jacob, John and Faith. 

Raphael listens closely to his sermon, and immediately he doesn’t recognize his father’s work. 

“My father has never said that!” he says loudly but the peggies and the Seed family can’t hear him because him and Mandy are invisible to them. 

Mandy looks over at him with a surprised look on her face, looking back and forth at the 3rd Archangel and Joseph Seed. 

After a few minutes, he has had enough of the nonsense Joseph is saying, and he takes himself and Mandy back to the Lamb of God church. 

“He speaks nonsense!” he tells her, pacing in frustration “My father has never said such words. He is manipulating and twisting my fathers words. Making them into ungodly statements. I would know I was there!. Michael was there, Lucifer was there, Gabriel was there!”. 

She can see the frustration in the eyes of the Archangel, “Now you understand why everyone doesn’t want to join him” she tells him.  

He looks off into the distance, “I understand now. I don’t know if Chuck wants Joseph to say those words, or Joseph is manipulating and changing the works of my father”. 

He takes a deep breath before continuing, “I’ve tried to stay loyal to my Father. To Heaven, to my family but I know he’s gonna try and pull an inevitable stunt”.

“That’s why we need to work against him” Mandy tells him, bringing some sense into him. 

“I’ll be back” he tells her, and he disappears, going back up to Heaven.

3 weeks later

Mandy continues to work with the Whitetail Militia, giving them all the information about what she has on Joseph Seed and all of his followers. 

On the phone with her “boss” aka her younger sister Marie. On speaker phone, so Tammy, Eli and Wheaty can hear everything she’s saying. 

“I can send you everything I have on Joseph Seed, and everyone that is associated with the Cult” she tells her “boss”. 

“Okay good, you can either fax everything to me, or you can send very clear photos of them to me and I’ll give them to my boss” Marie tells her, staying in character as the Head FBI Director of Phoenix, Arizona. 

“Okay good. I have them on file on my phone, I’ll send them to you” she replies back. 

“Great, send them as soon as you can, and we can send in the National Guard as soon as we can” she tells her, “I’ll contact you when I receive them”. 

“Okay I will do that” she replies and hangs up her phone. Setting it down on the table. 

“Alright, so I’m gonna send these files to her and get this nightmare over with” she tells them. She goes to send the paperwork to her sister. But in reality she isn’t, her sister is not an FBI Director, she goes to another room “sending the paperwork”. 

After 10 minutes of pretending to send out the “paperwork”, she goes back to the others. 

“Okay I sent them” she tells them, “And we wait for the call”. 

They all settle down, and wait for the call that’s most likely not gonna come because she never sent the paperwork, and even if she did no one would come anyway. 

A few hours later, and no response back. 

“Did your boss get the paperwork?” Eli asks Mandy. 

“She should've” she responds, pulling out her phone. She calls her sister, it rings a few times. 

Finally she picks up, “Hey Director Irwin did you get the paperwork? I sent it a few hours ago and I never received any feedback”. 

“No I didn’t, can you send it again?” Marie replies. 

She takes a deep breath, “Okay I’ll send it again”, and she hangs up. 

“What happened?” Tammy asks her. 

“She never got the information, so I’m gonna send it again” she tells them. 

She goes onto her laptop, and for reals she sends the paper to her sister. It loads and she immediately gets an error on her computer. 

“What the fuck?!” she mutters in confusion. Trying to fix the connection on her laptop. 

“What’s wrong?” Eli asks. Trying to restart the connection, “It’s not sending the files” she tells them, “It’s saying a connection error, and that it's unable to send”. 

Realizing that all of Hope County has zero connection, no one can get a signal in or out. Everything is completely down. No WiFi, no internet connection. Absolutely nothing. 

“Fuck!” she mutters under her breath. 

She hides out at the Lamb of God church, she would stay at the Wolf’s Den but she needs to be in a private location where she is able to communicate with Raphael, and not have it be interrupted by peggie fuckers. The Lamb of God church’s basement is the best, it was recommended by one of the Whitetail’s soldiers. 

As soon as Mandy settles in for the evening, Raphael makes himself known and he’s in a panic.

“This isn’t good. None of this is good” he scatters, panicking. His hands trembled, looking human almost. 

“What’s happening?!” she asks, worried. 

He’s about to tell her what’s happening, and the next thing she knows, he lights up and disappears. Getting banished from the church basement. 

“Raphael?!” she shouts, her voice echoing off the walls. 

“Yeah sorry about that” she hears a male voice say from behind her. She turns around and sees the Scribe of God. Metatron. 

“Metatron?” she whispers, going into shock. Seeing the asshole Angel that has caused chaos in her family. 

“Did you really think I wouldn’t find out Mandeline?” he asks with that stupid smug smile on his face. 

[d0llpie]

Tendou x reader

 Part 1    Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

Warnings: angst, mentions of insecurity, self harm (not explicit), sexual assault, ooc ushijima and smut, please let me know if i missed anything

Word count: 2.7k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up and took a shower, as you were getting ready you decided to text Asahi to let him know what you were up to

y/n: Hey Asahi, i'm going out for brunch with a friend, hope you had a good practice and tell the team i said hello :)

Asahi: Who's the friend? Do you have enough money? I can pick you up later if you need

y/n: it's Tendou, the red head we saw on moving day, he's on the boys Volleyball team, it's okay :)

Asahi: Text me after and keep your location on

y/n: i will, love you <3

Asahi: i love you too <3

You put on a black tennis skirt, white collared tee and an oversized navy blue sweater on top. You put on some simple jewellery and make up before tying your (h/l) (h/c) in a half up half down style. After checking yourself in the mirror you wondered if you were too dressed up. You heard a knock on your door which brought you out of your thoughts and you opened to see Tendou. He was wearing black dress pants, a striped long tee with a thin collared jacket and some rings on his hands. His hands. You noticed his defined hands and how attractive they looked decorated with rings.

"N/n-chan.." he pulled you out of your thoughts while he looked you up and down blushing

"Ten-chan, you look great! I thought i might've been dressed up but it seems we have similar style" you smiled sweetly at him, feeling your heart beating faster than usual.

"You look great too, shall we head out?" he smirked grabbing the door handle behind you and closing your dorm door.

The walk to the cafe earned you both many stares as people in the streets gawked at you both who seemed caught up in your own world.

Tendous POV

This was going to be harder than expected, he felt so carefree around you and he wanted to push his doubts away and trust you just wanted to be with him, friend or more, just him. But deep down he doubted you and he hated that he did. You were holding his arm walking, talking mindlessly about different topics, he watched as you rambled on and he felt comfortable being the less energetic friend for once. You matched his energy and for now he was satisfied seeing you be the ball of energy.

"Would you get any piercings ten-chan?" he snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at you who was still clinging to his arm.

"Oh i have my ears pierced i just haven't worn them in a while, see?" he showed the 3 holes in his earlobe and y/n looked up at him surprised with a smile.

"Woah, you should've worn them today" she looked up at him and he searched her eyes for any tell that she was joking, any sign that would give him an excuse to push her away, he found none. They arrived at the cafe and sat in a small booth by the window, the sun catching y/n's hair and making it seem to glow. Tendou looked in adoration as she read the menu, why did you have to be so cute, he was still prepared, prepared to hear you say it, to say that you weren't interested in him and wondered if Ushijima was single. He'd heard it all before and was no longer shocked at the lengths girls had gone to in order to try get with the captain.

"I'll have the french toast and fruit salad please" he looked up at you and realised he hadn't even read the menu yet.

"Uh me too, thank you" he said to the waitress before handing over the menu. He heard y/n chuckle from across the table and shot her a teasing glare.

You watched as Tendou seemed to zone out while staring at you, you wanted to know what he was thinking, after all, being the only two in your dorm building would be difficult if you weren't friends.

"Tendou, are you alright?" you asked sweetly

"I'm great n/n-chan, are you?" he looked relaxed but his eyes gave away that he was avoiding something, he wouldn't even look directly at you

"Sorry if i'm wrong, but i've noticed you tense up a lot and zone out, are you sure you want to hang out with me?" He looked into her eyes and once again saw nothing but sincerity, he was so worried about her using him he had barely spoken to her all day, he hadn't even been trying to consciously push her away but it had become habit. He felt awful

"What? You're amazing i'm just, i guess i was wondering why you wanted to be friends with me" he started twirling the rings on his fingers

"Oh c'mon don't doubt yourself, you're so nice and always take me to practice, plus you're the first friend i've made at this school and your style matches mine, it was just made to be" you said dramatically, looking at the ceiling. He laughed and felt his worry release.

Back at the dorms you asked Tendou what he liked to do and he started talking to you about Shounen Jump, he seemed so excited and you wanted to share that with him

"Could i maybe borrow yours and read it?" you asked

"Yes i'll go get it right now!" his face lit up and he ran off to his dorm room, after a few minutes he ran back and handed it to you, you laughed at his excitement.

"You're beautiful you know that?" he said staring down at you, you blushed and looked up at him not knowing how to respond, before you could he went back to his dorm with a smirk on his face.

y/n: Asahi i'm back at the dorms

Asahi: are you okay? how was brunch?

y/n: it started off a little rocky but it was really fun :)

Asahi: that's great, do you want me to come visit you tomorrow?

y/n: if you're free that'd be cool, i have a question tho

Asahi: what's up?

y/n: back at the dorms Tendou called me beautiful and then just walked away..

Asahi: you cannot get a boyfriend after a week of school y/n

y/n: i never said anything like that

Asahi: introduce me to him tomorrow okay?

y/n: ugh okay, bye <3

Asahi: goodbye <3

You changed into some shorts and top before lying in bed and reading shounen jump. You heard knocking on your door but you snuggled deeper into your bed. You don't remember falling asleep but you remember you were almost finished shounen jump at some ungodly hour in the morning. Asahi was knocking on your door and calling out to you

"y/n open the door" he groaned as he'd been waiting for 10 minutes now

Tendou had woken up to the banging down the hallway and looked out to see Asahi outside your door. He made eye contact with the male and started to worry as he walked towards him, he assumed this was your brother but he seemed frustrated.

"Hi..um Tendou? is it?" he rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke to the redhead

"Yep, you're y/n's brother right? the ace?" Asahi looked up at him and smiled,

"Haha yeah i guess, is y/n in her dorm?" he asked

"Yeah she should be" Tendou said before walking towards your dorm with Asahi following. He knocked on the door and heard some shuffling before y/n opened the door.

"Asahi can you relax i'm coming-" you looked up and saw Tendou and blushed before you saw Asahi behind him

"Oh sorry, um, come in" you moved out of the way and they both walked in, Asahi watched tendou before he wrapped you in a bear hug, suffocating you.

"Asahi- let go" you squirmed and laughed as he put you down. Tendou was sitting by your desk holding his shounenjump manga and watching you, he saw how cute you looked in your pyjamas and he smirked, admiring you.

"N/n-chan, did you start reading it yet?" he said snapping you and Asahi out of your greetings.

"I actually finished it last night, that's why i was still asleep this morning" you smiled at him blushing, Asahi noticed.

"n/n-chan?" Asahi looked between you and Tendou.

You both just laughed and Tendou was smiling like crazy, ushiwaka had never read shounen jump and he never had anyone to discuss it with.

Tendou left and you and Asahi started talking

"so y/n, that's Tendou" he started the conversation

"yep, do you like him?" you asked nervously

"well do you?" he suggestively asked, you slapped his arm and rolled your eyes

"We're just friends Asahi, don't worry" you rolled your eyes at him

"But about what i said, he called me beautiful...what do you think he meant?" you looked up at Asahi

"I think he likes you, please get to know him more though, i barely even know him" Asahi sounded protective but you knew he was a big softie that would support you no matter what.

"Thanks Asahi" you smiled

After Asahi left you caught up on some homework, watching more anime than working and took a shower.

Over the next few weeks Tendou let you borrow his Jump magazines and you discussed them when going to and from practice. One of his practice matches was coming up and he invited you to come watch him play, you accepted of course.

At training he would always put his arm around you when talking to his teammates and Semi, the setter, seemed to find it amusing how smug he acted around them. You didn't mind, you enjoyed talking to the boys team and you noticed when tendou would tense up at the interactions you and Ushijima shared. You brushed it off and tried to avoid making Tendou uncomfortable.

At the practice match against some college team you sat with the girls volleyball club, next to Miki the captain and Yachi the setter. You stopped chatting when you noticed the boys team walk in, Tendou looked so laid back especially in comparison to Ushijima who looked more serious than usual, something you thought was impossible. Tendou looked up at you and dramatically waved while smiling, you laughed at him and waved back being just as dramatic. Yachi elbowed you lightly and raised her eyebrow suggestively, you rolled your eyes in return.

You watched as Tendous face changed when he made eye contact with the players in front of him, he was filled with so much intensity and he really did suit the name guess monster. Every spike he went to block he ended up killing it, he was insane. You smiled at him in amazement and he glanced up to see you looking at him from the stands, his heart fluttered and he stared back more demonic looking than ever.

They won both sets easily and as the game ended you ran down to the gym entrance ready to congratulate the team, particularly Tendou. You looked around for the tall redhead as Shirabu and Goshiki walked past, you smiled at them and gave them small congratulations as well as the rest of the team.

Finally Tendou began to approach you with Ushijima and you ran up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck giving him a hug and mumbling congratulations into his chest.

You stepped back after realising how long you'd been hugging him in front of the doorway and you looked up to see him blushing.

'cute' you thought.

"Thanks n/n-chan" he said and you smiled at Ushijima congratulating him too, he smiled back at you earning a shocked look from both you and Tendou.

You waited outside for Tendou to get changed and finish up with team, after he did you walked back towards the dorms. He noticed you started to shiver and he grabbed your hand, enveloping your smaller one in his much larger one. You looked up at him and grabbed his arm, cuddling into his side with your head resting on his shoulder as you walked. Both of you lightly blushing and enjoying each other's company.

"Y/n, do you wanna go out with me this weekend?" Tendou asked squeezing your hand lightly

"Yeah sure where do you wanna go?" you replied obviously not realising what he meant. You both hung out together often and went to the cafe down the road several times a week, but Tendou wanted to take you on a date.

"I was thinking dinner in Tokyo, there's a nice restaurant near my mums work, i've been there before and the prices aren't too bad" he hand subconsciously brought his hands into his jacket pockets, bringing yours with his, you blushed at the gesture.

"Wow Tokyo, that's fancy, are you gonna propose?" you beamed at him dramatically while giggling. He smirked at you and you answered 'yes of course' and you arrived at the dorms a few minutes later.

"Well goodnight n/n-chan thank you for coming to the game" he took his hands out his pockets and noticed he was still holding yours.

"Of course, you really were incredible out there" you said and hugged him again. You felt him tense up against you and you pulled back not wanting to make him uncomfortable but his hands snaked around your waist and pulled you back in as he held your head. You wrapped your arms around him and smiled into his chest.

"Goodnight ten-chan" you looked up at him before walking back to your dorm room feeling excited for your date in the city. A date. You hadn't confirmed if it was a date or not, you didn't want to assume so you decided to text him after your shower.

y/n: Hey Tendou

Tendou: Already miss me?

y/n: shut up

Tendou: hahaha whats up?

y/n: so this weekend..is it a date?

Tendou: Do you want it to be?

y/n: Do you have you answer everything with a question :(

Tendou: Alright, lets call it a date :)

y/n: okay :)), also i finished your other shounen jump can i borrow the next one pleaaseee <3

Tendou: Of course n/n-chan, i can bring it over now if you're too impatient to wait ;)

y/n: >:(

Tendou: i'm kidding i'll bring it to you now :)

Not long after their conversation y/n heard a knock on her door and she opened it excitedly and invited Tendou inside. He stood awkwardly by her desk while she grabbed his last copy

"Tendou.." you looked at him with a scared expression and he began to worry

"please tell me he isn't dead" you looked up at him dramatically while gripping his weekly jump copy. He relaxed and began to laugh at you, he'd never had anyone to discuss his interests with besides volleyball, and with you he could discuss both freely.

"You'll have to find out-" he was cut off by your snatching the next copy out of his hands and running to your bed, he giggled and began to leave when you looked up at him

"Don't you wanna see if he dies?" you knew he knew the outcome but you wanted to talk to him about it and he knew this too, he turned around and hesitantly sat on ur bed and watched you read.

After a while Tendou was sitting against your headboard and you were in between his legs with your back to his chest reading the manga. He was following along the storyline occasionally and playing with your hair absentmindedly. It was around 3am when he noticed you slump further down, you had fallen asleep.

He watched for a while as you slept in his arms, your chest rising a falling peacefully, he knew he should head back to his room so you wouldn't be startled when you woke up so he lay you down under the covers and grabbed the manga from your hand placing it next to your bed. He pressed a small kiss to the top of your head before returning to his room and falling asleep.

[hyucksong]

afraid.| lee jeno

summary: Jeno asks you if you’re afraid to die. You lie twice, and tell the truth once. 

genre: angst and fluff

word count: 2.0k

warnings: sad and there’s definitely imperfections in the representation of hospital stays. also possible misunderstanding of metastatic brain tumors, please tell me if it’s so bad that i need to edit it. 

a/n: wrote this in one go, as an apology for not updating in like a month! i’ve been in the haikyuu hole :) 

-

Jeno asked you if you were afraid to die the first night he met you. It was on a dirty park bench at three am. As a newly admitted patient, the sterile white walls and the digital beep of the alarm clock every hour drove him crazy. He knew hospitals were supposed to help him, but he hated the confined feeling. The nurses and doctors would ask if he wanted anything, but when he said he wanted to leave, they'd glance at each other and wince, asking if he'd like anything else.

After they'd make an awkward exit, you'd always laugh in your bed. He'd glare at you and shift in his bed, muttering about how you would never understand.

"What're you here for, anyway? Got a bad headache?" Was the first thing he spitefully said, and he'd meant it with his whole heart. He didn't wish illness on anyone, but God, sometimes he wished that they could just understand. His terrible guess made you laugh even harder, he was close. "Hmm, close. I've got a brain tumor." And then he fell silent. A few minutes later he meekly whispered, "Sorry."

He made up for it by waking you up to go outside with him, "Just for some fresh air." He'd said. It was cold, and he shivered in his jacket the whole walk to the park. But you never shivered once despite goosebumps trailing up your arms. Your eyes were distant, and your mouth had a small, sad smile resting upon it.

"How long have you been admitted?" He asked, sitting on the opposite side of the bench from you. "About three months. I usually stay in my own room, but there was something wrong with the lights so I'm elsewhere until they fix it." Jeno nodded, uncomfortable. "...Can it be removed?" You sensed his hesitance and laughed, shaking your head. "I wish. It's too dangerous. I mean -- they could, technically. But there wouldn't really be a point." His confusion was written on his face, and it almost made you giggle. "It's cancerous. It's a secondary brain tumor. I've actually got a few up in there," You gently knocked your fist against your head, unbothered.

Jeno was confused -- weren't you scared to die? Would you die? How long did you have left to live? Why were you so happy?

"Are you...afraid of dying?" The question stilled you. The words tore at you, they pricked at your skin and your heart. You wished he hadn't said them. Shrugging, you turned your head and focused on an empty swing set that blew around from the wind. "I'm not afraid, I guess. I mean, it's inevitable for me. It's not 'are you of dying' for me, it's 'are you afraid to die.' It's not ''will you die' it's 'when will you die." You glanced at Jeno one last time, noticing his glimmering eyes that were so full of hope and want. They were full of determination to get better. You were sure yours were just tired. You just wanted to sleep the days away. 

"I've got a few months left. At least, that's what the doctors say." The boy nodded, fists clenched in his pockets. He didn’t know you, but he knew you didn’t deserve only a few more months.

-

Jeno asked if you were afraid to die after you had a seizure his second month there. You didn't tell him you’d been getting worse, but he'd overheard a few nurses talking about your worsening state. One of them said that you might as well just die; it'd make no difference. Jeno almost hit her.

"No, I'm not afraid." Your voice came out scratchy. The soup in front of you was barely touched, the steam coming off of it having stopped a while ago. "Why would I be? I've got the most awesome roommate." He'd been slightly flattered when you'd said that, but the next week you were moved back into your own room. Jeno thought about how much of a bummer that was, but he also remembered that he could just visit you.

He walked into your room one sunny afternoon after one of his treatments. Jeno's heart almost exploded when the nurse told him how much better he looked. Honestly, he'd almost cried. Going home seemed tangible, like a light at the end of the tunnel that he was running closer to.

The second he stepped past the door frame, he noticed something was off. You were facing the window with a pencil gripped in your hands, paper scattered around you. Jeno kept quiet as he slowly made his way to you, shaky lines and unfinished drawings plaguing the pages beneath him.

"W-What's wrong? Y/n?" Heavy breathing was all he got in response before you turned towards him, tears in your eyes. "My arms are really weak. It's hard to even lift them up, Jeno." He said nothing; just sat beside you and rubbed your back carefully. "I know, I know. It'll be okay." But it wasn't going to be. Jeno hated that he lied, and he hated that you knew he lied, but said nothing. He hated that he was getting better, but you weren't. He hated that he could left weights to stay strong but it was hard for you to even lift a bowl. He hated it all. He wanted to get better, but he wanted to get better with you. But you weren't getting any better. You were getting worse.

"Did you know that a symptom of the metastases can be changes in my behavior and personality, Jeno?" He shook his head, biting his lip.

"Would you love me if I changed, Jeno? If I wasn't who you know now?" He nodded, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. And he meant it. "I'd love you no matter what."

-

The third and final time he's asked if you were afraid to die was three months after that. He'd checked in to take you out for a while, "For some fresh air," he said to you through the phone. He'd been released a month and a half ago. He'd gotten better, and quickly, too. It made you happy that he left the overly-sterile walls of the grim hospital. You felt mixed about him visiting you: you wanted him to visit you in your apartment, in your home. Not here.

It was late, and the nurses almost denied his request to take you out. But you were already dressed, hands in pockets and all. They’d shared looks with each other before letting you go. 

The park was empty again, the stars were bright, and your head was cold, mostly because of the lack of hair, but also because the air was biting at you. "You've got a thing for late night walks, don't you?" You teased, sitting on the slightly damp grass next to him. He laughed and nodded, "Only if those walks are with you." There was no denying the flush that rose to your cheeks. His hand gently slid into yours, fingers intertwining.

"Well, you'll have to get used to coming on these walks alone." You'd meant it lightheartedly, but Jeno's grip tightened. "...You're not getting any better?" He lowly asked. A humorless laugh left your lips, "Of course not, Jeno. I haven't been getting better for the past five months. Why would I start now?"

"You can get better at any time--"

"Well I'm not. That's not going to change, Jeno -- we've talked about this already. I'm going to die in that hospital." Jeno couldn't help but raise his voice, "Don't say that!"

"It's the truth! Stop lying to yourself!"

The silence was heavy and tense. It felt like the weight of the world rested on your shoulders. You hated it. But it was the truth. Jeno knew better than to argue any more. Instead, he kissed your shoulder softly before laying his head on it. He wished you were okay. He wished you'd go on another walk with him in three years from now, in fifty years from now, and when you both are readmitted into the same hospital on your deathbed.

But he couldn't stay blind to the truth. You needed to hold onto his arm the whole way here because your legs were wobbly. You grip was so weak compared to what it used to be. Your breaths were shallow. You were on the brink. And he couldn't pull you back from it.

"Are you afraid to die?" The familiar question rang in your ears sharply. There was no malevolence towards it. No hatred. Nothing. Just...acceptance. There was no denying your death. But there was a strange okayness with what was happening. You were happy with your life. You'd met Jeno, the love for the remainder of your life, You'd kissed him, held hands with him, and cherished him. He snuggled his head in the crook of your neck, kissed your chapped lips gently, and introduced you to the rest of his close friends.

You were okay with dying now. Things would be okay. He'd be okay.

"You know, Jeno," You sighed and leaned back on your elbows, "you ask me that question a lot. And I must admit, I've lied to you the first two times. I was scared. I didn't want to die. I wanted to live and soar and graduate college and have kids and a dog with an ungodly green lawn that would make my neighbors mad. But now," You nodded, squeezing his hand. "I'm okay with it. I don't want to die -- but I'm okay with it. I've lived a dream. I've kissed you and petted dogs, gotten bitten by cats, snuck out, and thrown tantrums. I'm okay now. And I know you'll be okay with out me."

A sob left him, and he took a deep breath in. You accepting death was a bittersweet medicine to him. He wanted you to say with vigor that you'd live with him, that you'd be okay, that he'd see you on the opposite of a wedding aisle from him. But the calmness of your voice, the gentle understanding, the happiness -- it all made him realize that you were okay, It'd be okay. He'd be okay.

But he still wished for a miracle. He'd pray to any god for it to happen.

-

There was no miracle. You died a month later in the same bed you'd met Jeno in. The light in your room went out again, and you'd been moved to a different one temporarily, and died there.

The funeral was simple, too simple for Jeno's tastes, but perfect for yours. You wanted your death to be quick, your funeral to be quick, and your burial to be quick. You just wanted people to move on after your death. You wanted them to go back to smiling and laughing and dancing and kissing and living. But Jeno could never move on that quickly from the enigma that was you.

He wished there were more to say. But that was it. That was the end of you. It had all happened so quickly, everyone seemed to move on so quickly. Your life had been so long in comparison to your death. You death had been so gray in comparison to your colorful self. Jeno was left with his memories. Left with his sorrow. Left with sitting at the bench he'd first asked you if you were afraid to die at.

Jeno was left behind. He was alone.

But every time he sat down on the dirty wooden slabs, he felt a sense of peace. It was as if someone was holding his hand and gazing up at the sky with him. It was as if everything was okay. As if nothing was wrong.

Jeno remembers the way your lips felt on his, the way your weak grip made his heart race, he remembers the way you'd lived. He remembers your casual relationship with the hospital staff, he remembers your favorite soup, your favorite band, he remembers it all. His memories of you were tangible -- he could almost touch them. He could relive those moments with you anytime he wanted. He memories were infinite, his memories always felt more vivid on that bench.

Jeno knows you weren’t afraid to die when you did. Jeno remembers you. Jeno misses you. Jeno loves you. And he always will. 

[gypsydanger01]

THE STORM - Part three

Fandom: The Boys (Amazon prime tv series)

Pairing: Black Noir x Reader

Comments, reviews, constructive criticism, and other requests are always more than welcome!

                  Posting new chapters every Wednesday and Friday!

            Come together

She was so late. Sarah knew she needed the rest, her body and mind both fatigued under the stress of simply being who she is. Of having to constantly be alert for threats to her identity and her life. And so, she’d taken what was meant to be a short nap, an energy boost so she could power through the rest of the evening.

She slept through the alarm. What ultimately woke her up was that prickling sensation one feels when subconsciously realizing they’re resting for too long. Feeling this pinprick at the back of her brain, she slowly opened one eye and then the other. Rolling onto her back, she exhaled loudly before swinging herself up and out of the bed. It’s then that she noticed the time. Immediately, she shot into her closet tossing random sets of outfits onto her bed. She took a quick shower and applied little to no makeup, reminding herself that a natural look is always best. Finally, she returned to her bedroom and made an impulsive decision on what to wear. She’d usually take an ungodly long time to choose an outfit, but she had about ten minutes to walk out the door.

As she spun in the mirror, she suddenly stopped and looked at herself intently. While being satisfied with her unruly curls and soft makeup, she could see the tension in her shoulders, the dread in her eyes. And although she loved musicals and shows, she couldn’t help but want to curl up in her bed instead. And it wasn’t because she was tired.

No, it was fear that sat heavy in her stomach, rooting her to her spot. The ticket to the show had been left for her by the mysterious B.N.

At first, her worry and confusion had been softened by Martha’s idea of a secret admirer, a timid co-worker who was working up the courage to ask her out. But as the weeks went by, Sarah was less convinced. Somebody was watching her, knew her routine, her likes and dislikes. Someone knew where she lived. At work, she was increasingly jumpy and afraid of every corner. Did Vought figure it out? Were they baiting her, waiting for the opportunity to eliminate her and the threat she posed?

It would be the perfect cover-up: a young woman is followed by a stalker, a fact that many other people already knew from the flowers delivered to her office each week. When he finally confronts her, she rejects him, angering him to the point where she’s murdered. This could explain her body being found in some alleyway, or even her disappearance.

Was this ticket going to deliver her to her maker? Would it take her straight to her death? The theater was such a public place, utterly packed with people both inside and outside. But so much could happen on the way there and back.

Realizing she’d begun to shake, she stilled herself and thought of Mallory. She’d been taught better than this. The older woman would probably scoff at her for walking into such an obvious trap, but she couldn’t run from it either. If it was Vought, they’d been toying with her long enough. She’d be careful, alert. Finally, she gathered her coat and purse and walked out.

“Hey, honey,” a voice spoke up from the sidewalk. She froze in the middle of locking the door. Maintaining her grip on its handle, she was unsure on how the next few minutes would unfold, how she would handle the unpredictability of the man standing behind her. But she felt the imperceptible change in her stance as her mind sharpened. She was taught many things, but taking shit isn’t one of them.

“What do you want?” she bit out, turning to face the man she’d never wanted to see again.

“Come on, babe,” he trailed off with a laugh, “it’s been almost a year-- I wanted to see you, maybe y’know, talk. God knows it’s time”

“I want you to leave,” she stared him down. “Now,” she added.

He moved fast up her porch steps, and she was quick to slip the key back in to open the door. She’d stuck one foot into the house when he stopped her, grabbing onto her wrist. He squeezed tight, the frazzled woman containing a wince.

“You need to stop before I hurt you. We’re over, Jason. Over.”

“Come on, you needed a break, and I gave you one.” He inched closer and whispered, an intense look in his eyes, “It may take time, but it always boils down to me and you together.”

She kicked him hard, "It's you and I, you illiterate ass."

He lazily let go, allowing her to back into the house. Before she could slam the door, he’d stuck his foot in. The woman pressed onto the hardwood with all her weight, but there was no stopping his breach. He stood menacing in the entrance, but she didn’t inch back.

Something clicked in her, like a mounting fury. The vase of pretty lilies sitting idly by the entrance. The floral pin in her hair. The ticket. The earrings. She grabbed the vase and threw the water in his face, letting the flowers fall off to the side.

“You,” with a snarl she pointed at him. “How dare you try to weasel your way back into my life! Have you been following me because I swear.”

She snatched the pin out of her hair, letting curls fly in front of her face. The pin quickly followed the water in a general trajectory towards him. Although her aim left much to be desired, she hoped it stabbed him in the eye. She tensed, ready for a fight. Her fingers twitched, and she wished she had a gun to curl them around.

Jason made a move to say something when a sudden force pulled him through the entrance, sending him flying back.

One moment he was there, and the next he'd vanished.

She stopped moving, stopped breathing. But not a moment later, curiosity had her moving towards the porch with tentative steps. A dark shadow stood tall over Jason’s crumpled body on the sidewalk. Dressed in a black armored suit, the figure was heaving deeply. Its strict posture seemed to be shaken by erratic breathing, like an animal's. A long knife’s sharp edge glinted under the moonlight, and she realized what was about to happen.

She threw herself forward, “No, no, don’t.”

Jason’s features were bloody, but his eyes were open, and he was breathing. His arm was folded at an awkward angle under him. The tall, masked figure tensed, and turned around completely, stiffly, until he was fully facing her.

The blood drained from her face. “Black Noir.”

It wasn’t clear whether her words were meant as a statement or a question, but he replied with a slow nod.

His breathing had gone quiet and steady. His eyes were hidden behind the heavy black goggles he wore, but she could’ve sworn he gave her a calculating look. As if he were measuring the weight of her words. He looked down at the crumpled figure, and then slowly back at her. She realized it was a silent question. Was he asking for permission? She hated Jason. He was a terrible person, and it’d taken her time to shake his influence from her life. He was ungrateful and a coward and a mistake.

Now, on the ground he was choking on tears. While he mouthed ‘please’ in her general direction, clasping his hands together, she almost wished she hadn’t intervened. That Black Noir had hurt him. Though his gaze was concealed, she could read anger in his stance. She thought he looked like a modern fury in the night, and she was sure this must be the scariest moment in Jason’s life. As Black Noir waited for her word, she realized that in one silent look, one silent gesture, he’d made her judge, and he her executioner. Looking down at her ex boyfriend’s form, she steeled herself against her heart’s instinct. After those years of suffering, it only wanted to hurt the man on the ground. The tall man standing over him watched her, trying to read the conflict in her eyes. But she was no judge. And she would not make him her executioner, no matter how willing.

Steadying her voice, she spoke softly. “Let him go, it’s not worth it.”

They stood there for a few minutes, as Black Noir processed her words. The urge to finish the filth laid out on the sidewalk was strong, and he had to steel himself against it. He didn’t want to get carried away in front of her, have her witness the monster inside. And if he disobeyed her request, would he alienate her forever? Would she hate him, be disgusted by him?

Finally, he shot down and grabbed onto the other man’s shirt, tugging him upwards. He brought his face up to his mask, reveling in the way the smaller man trembled with fear. He let him go and moved away, taking a protective stance in front of the young woman he’d sworn to protect.

Jason scrambled to his feet and caught a glimpse of his ex behind the shadow who’d come to stand in front of her. Black Noir shifted to hide her from view, but she still saw the disbelief printed onto his features, the wild look of fear in his eyes. He moved backwards, crossing over to the other side of the street. Looking over his shoulder, he sped away, holding onto his side.

Black Noir watched him go, inhaling and exhaling deeply. He centered himself and decided to file the man as unfinished business.

Peering around him, she watched her ex disappear at the corner down the street.

Looking up at the dark shadow standing with his back to her, she stood in slight disbelief herself. She couldn’t help the shock still coursing through her veins. Seeing Jason after a year. Learning that he’d been stalking her for some time. Black Noir appearing. Asking him to spare the life of a man she loathes.

And now that she was alone with what she knew to be Vought’s personal hit-man, was this it?

He moved towards her slowly, and she took equally large steps back. Should she run, slam the door? It’d be useless, she didn’t stand a chance. Years ago, she might have been able to make a stand. Not now, not anymore.

They were in the house and he raised his hands. It confused Sarah. She expected him to finish her off quickly. The potential cover-up would hold: her abusive ex-boyfriend shows up, and as she rejects him things get out of hand. He gets violent and she ends up with her head bashed into a wall or a vase crashed into her skull. She knew what Black Noir was capable of. He’d have to control his strength to make it look like a human had murdered her.

She stood frozen and couldn’t seem to bring her heartbeat to an acceptable rate. She knew he could hear it, and she wondered if he was getting off on her fear. What he did next took her completely by surprise. Black Noir leaned down and began to gather the scattered lilies at her entrance. He picked the fallen flowers up by their long stems, placing them back into their vase.

He could feel her heart beating wildly, like that of a scared rabbit. He focused on the flowers he’d chosen for her, thinking of a way to calm her down. Was she still panicking after the attack, or was she simply afraid of him? She’d seemed fine with him when he’d crossed her in the lost-and-found.

When his thoughts returned to the other man’s appearance, his blood rushed in an unpleasant way. It was the surge of wild energy that coursed through him before a hunt.

He moved towards her, with long, smooth steps. He raised both hands, one steadying her head, the other holding a shimmering piece of metal. Immediately, she flinched, and her breath grew faster. This was it. The fight in her immediately reared its head, and she gathered all her strength to push against him, her hands curled into fists. He tensed and took a step back, exhaling loudly. It disturbed him that she could think he would hurt her. If only she knew to what extents he'd go to protect her. He showed her the piece in his hand: it was the beautiful pin of flowers. They glinted under the light in different shades of blue.

She stammered, “I thought--” He could still kill her with the pin, she reminded herself. All he had to do was jab it hard into her neck, and she was a goner. She breathed in deeply, “Why? Why are you here?”

When Black Noir just looked on, she grew uneasy and began to squirm.

She steadied her voice and squared her shoulders. “You need to leave.”

He looked on and slowly nodded. He wanted to claw at his face, at the terrible being he’d become. She feared him, entirely closed off and ready to run away. He gently lifted the pin to hand it to her.

She shook her head, “You can take it. I don’t want anything of his.”

The big man let his hands drop to his sides and took a step back. He tilted his head to the side. If she could’ve guessed, she would’ve thought he was dejected, disappointed even. He held out a firm hand. She shook her head. He insisted. With hesitation she took it, and he held her fingers delicately, like they were made of thin glass. The gloves were rough against her skin. Her mind wandered to how many men he’d killed or beat senseless. Jason had gotten lucky that night.

Black Noir led her in front of the mirror. She slipped a small dagger out of the hidden pocket she’d sewn into her dress. From behind, he ran his fingers over her hair, slipping the pin into place. She stood tense, not understanding the meaning of his actions. He knew she’d pulled a knife out, keeping it flat against the palm of her hand and out of view. The gesture intrigued him. He tilted his head slightly and wondered how much he still had to learn about Sarah Burns. He stepped away towards the door.

She was utterly confused by his gesture. It felt meaningful, but she couldn’t decipher it. Was he truly just going to leave? He had helped her with Jason, would have killed him even. He’d picked her flowers up off the floor. He’d gently thread the pin back into her unruly locks of hair. “What is going on?”

She whirled around, just as her voice compelled him to face her. She was already confused, and the night had raised her sense of fight or flight. She gripped the small knife tighter.

He didn’t want to add onto the tension he could read in her eyes. He was a shadow who would watch over her from afar, a shadow that should not taint her light. He felt something towards himself he’d never felt before: disgust. Disgust for the being he’d let himself become, or better yet disgust towards the way he’d succumbed to other’s visions of him. He’d been built into something further down the line from evil. Something deeper, something more focused and dangerous. And the issue was he liked it, he let it consume him and run free because he'd come to enjoy it. He felt empowered by it.

In her entrance, standing both inside and outside, he stood conflicted.

“Why?”

Disgust for himself and his inability to answer her simple question surged through him. And yet, he felt rooted to his spot, incapable of leaving. He slowly reached into a side pocket on his chest and extracted a petite, black box. Hanging on its side, was a familiar clean, white tag. The gift was small in his gloved hand, and he handled it with care as he placed it on the cabinet.

She looked at him, the flowers and the box.

She moved her fingers through her hair, careful around the pin she didn’t want to dislodge. Black Noir watched her in silence. In her dress and light makeup, her mascara slightly smudged under the eyes, he just wanted to take her in his arms and disappear. Her eyes were fixed on him as if she were looking into his soul. He looked away. He was a being both brutal and dark: his soul was too dark of a place for her.

“Black Noir. You’re B.N.”

Once he gazed back into her eyes, he found himself unable to look away. Suddenly flushed, and watching him with bated breath, she waited for a reaction.

The man in question thought he should just disappear into the night. It could all end there. He’d find a way to be content with watching over her from afar. Occasional gifts would remind her of him, should she continue to accept them. He’d never be able to stay away, but he could erase himself from her life. One of his greatest abilities was staying invisible, sticking to the shadows.

And yet, he wanted to be worthy of her attention, and he wanted her to want him close.

He nodded and stood straighter if that was even possible.

He could feel the woman’s heart rate speed up again, as she processed the new information. After a moment of speechlessness, she walked towards him. Coming to a stop only a few steps away, they simply looked at each other.

“Are you here to hurt me?”

Even with his military grade eye-ware she could sense the intensity of his gaze on her, reading her every move and gesture. He shook his head no.

He could be lying. He was a spy, sleek and dangerous. He never spoke, and she was sure that he was a professional observer. She was certain he knew how to read people, because that's what he does every day of his life. He never interacts; he observes and takes orders. Was he simply trying to get her attention? Was his following her unrelated to Vought? It shouldn’t, but this somewhat filled her with relief. She might just have a normal stalker, not a hit-man sent to kill her by the organization she was planning to tear to the ground.

Or was he here for information? Maybe they weren’t so sure about her involvement and had sent him to assess the situation.

But this could go both ways. She’d feed him false information, and maybe she would be able to extract information from him. She severely doubted this but giving him the information she wanted to give would allow her to control Vought’s research on her.

Still somewhat confused and flustered, she kept eye contact with him. This would be a dangerous game of cat and mouse, where the cat is a man who could snap her neck in a split second.

She offered him something they probably both needed. “Let me get us a glass of wine and we can talk.”

PART 4  PART 5

Giulia

[fluffysvt]

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 ✞ 𝟎𝟐

✘ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : joshua hong x reader

✘ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : bad boy au, corruption, religious themes

✘ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : angst, light smut?, graphic depictions of abuse (i’m sorry in advance this chapter is a bit dark)

✘ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.2k

the kiss lingers in your mind long after you’ve returned home. laying under pink sheets, you helplessly replay it over and over again, blushing in the dark. he took his time with you, leading with care, a tang of vanilla cream left on his tongue.

the truth is, you find joshua intriguing. you want to dive deep into every nook and cranny of him, to hear his thoughts, fears, desires. he’s like eating dessert before dinner -- delectable and sweet, yet against the rules.

but you want it anyway.

this is crazy, though, and you would be ridiculous to idealize him so quickly. for all you know, this could be some huge joke to him. why would someone like him want to date someone like me? you wonder, and your heart grows heavy in your chest. you two are extremes of one another: your whole life has always revolved around religion, whereas joshua denounces it almost entirely. so why, then?

maybe he just wants sex. after all he did mention sexual freedom, and you can only assume that means sex before marriage. your skin prickles at the thought of it, shame overcoming you.

your mind helplessly wanders back to the night you slept over at neji’s, when she confessed to giving her boyfriend her virginity. it struck you that she didn’t even sound sorry while soliciting every tiny, unwanted detail. neji has always been bold, yes, but it’s been hard trying to register this information. she said she really, truly loves him. that it felt... right.

it’s always been easy for you to maintain abstinence, considering you’ve never dated anyone seriously, but can one person honestly change that? and could it be someone like joshua?

it feels as though the fluffy, cotton candy cloud 9 you fell asleep on last night is a distant memory when you wake with a start. it’s still dark outside and your arms are quickly collecting goosebumps, bedsheets crumpled up in a heap on the floor.

“get up,” your mother demands through gritted teeth. it’s then that you notice her silhouette standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed and eyes ablaze with a fury you’ve only seen a handful of times. you can feel your body tense.

“what?”

“on your knees. now.” a rosary is tightly knotted around her hand, bible clutched tightly to her chest as she makes her way to your side of the bed. hurriedly, you scramble onto the floor, palms pressed together as you resist eye contact.

she stops when she’s directly behind you. “you know how the people talk in this town.” the clicking of her belt buckle rings through the room as she loosens it. “did you think you could sneak around with that... that boy, without me knowing?”

your entire chest seizes in fear; how could she know, and so quickly?

as soon as you question it, the answer seems so obvious you could strangle yourself with it. mr. walker, the ice cream shop owner - he’s known your mother for years. stupid, stupid girl. 

“i-i’m sorry-”

your head snaps back as she tugs you by a fistful of hair. “you evil, ungodly child. boys like him are wicked. immoral. he wants to taint your purity.” her grip tightens and you scream, reaching backwards to grab onto her hands.

“no, mama,” you’re sobbing now. “h-he isn’t like that-”

“how dare you disrespect the lord this way!” she shouts, “now pray.”

your lips tremble; you know you have crossed the line, that the belt is coming. so softly, almost under your breath, you begin.

“forgive me, father, for i have sinned.”

crack.

“i-if we confess our sins,” your voice shakes, tears dripping from your cheeks. “he is faithful, and j-just, and will forgive us our sins, a-and-”

crack.

your eyes fall closed. “and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

days turn into weeks that turn into months, and all your time spent with joshua quickly blurs together. your mother’s threats haven’t stopped you from seeing him; they simply taught you to lie. sneaking out to see him at night gives you a rush you've never experienced before, and you're addicted. thoughts of him undeniably dominate your mind throughout the day, though you hate to admit it. surely it's sinful to think of him as much as you do, the way that you do.

but how can you not when he squeezes into the diner booth beside you at 1am, an arm slung around your shoulders and a hand resting on your thigh? in the afternoon when he meets you in the empty church, legs straddling his waist as he kisses you breathless between the pews? the thought of him is simply maddening, and despite your brain telling you no, you want him. constantly.

with summer over, neji had to go back to living with her mother a few states over. not that it matters much - you’re always calling to update her on joshua anyway (as well as to conjure up new, creative ways of sneaking out of the house). “you do realize you’re basically living that avril lavigne song, right? like, ‘he was a punk, she did ballet’ or whatever,” she points out one night.

“okay, but... i don’t do ballet.”

“oh please, you know what i mean.” her eye roll is almost palpable, even from miles away. you smile to yourself regardless, absently fiddling with the new necklace around your neck. it was a gift from joshua - a delicate gold chain with a small J in the center. “do you think your mom suspects anything still?”

you hum for a moment before responding, “no, i don’t think so. i told her i started seeing this new boy at church. adam.”

neji laughs loudly over the line. “wow, she must be happy about that one.”

“oh, she’s overjoyed. trust me.”

later that night, you pass your mother on the stairs going up to bed. she lulls, peering at the new choker around your neck. “what does the J stand for, sweetie?”

you smile.

“jesus.”

“so,” joshua picks up your hand, threading his fingers through yours. “are you saving yourself for marriage and all that bullshit?”

no matter how well you’ve come to know joshua over the past few months, his bluntness is a trait that is continually difficult for you to summit. you’re laying in the backseat of his car with your head in his lap, innocent eyes twinkling up at him in the peachy glow of the sunset. you can’t help thinking he’s absolutely divine with what looks like a wispy orange halo around his head.

“you mean... sex?” your cheeks immediately flush against your will. it’s alright, though, joshua has become familiar with this phenomenon. and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t go out of his way to make you flustered at times...

the fingers on his tattooed hand play with the hair around your face, occasionally brushing over your cheekbones and lips. “i mean whatever you want it to mean.”

you hesitate, unsure if you should confide this information in joshua. does he genuinely care to know, or is he just asking for... unholy reasons?

clearing your throat, you decide you may as well be transparent with him. “when i was eleven, my mother made me vow that i would abstain. but, to be honest, i didn’t even know what that meant. i hadn’t even gotten my period yet, let alone thought of boys... sinfully.” his full attention is on you, lapping up every single word with dark, unreadable eyes. you blush and turn your head away, only for him to cup your cheek and bring your gaze back to him.

your heart just about stops dead in your ribcage when he opens his mouth to speak, his voice unusually low. “and what, exactly, are you abstaining from?”

“i don’t even know,” you whisper. if he wasn’t enticing before, he’s certainly beginning to crawl right underneath your skin now. “i don’t know what’s allowed, and what’s not.”

“it’s your body, angel. you get to decide what’s allowed,” he bites down on his lip. “and what’s not.”

his thumb pauses over your mouth and you kiss it without thinking, wrapping your plump lips around it.

“do you want to have sex with me, joshua?”

you thought the question was innocent enough, but joshua visibly stiffens at your behavior; maybe he hadn’t anticipated his little angel to be capable of misbehaving like this.

he says your name as a warning. "this isn't about me."

you feel yourself frown; so he doesn't want sex? confusion overwhelms you and suddenly you feel silly, eyes welling in embarrassment as you sit up. “i-i’m sorry, that was too forward and clearly you don’t want me like that.”

now it’s his turn to frown, eyebrows drawing together as he grabs your wrist and gingerly pulls you to sit on his lap. “no, baby, it’s not that. i just- fuck. i don’t know how to say this.” you wince a little at his language, though you keep your head bowed in shame.

with two fingers he lifts your chin, his intense stare meeting your own. “i don’t care that we believe in drastically different things. i will respect any and every promise you’ve made to yourself. yourself - not your mother, or some religious construct you’ve been manipulated into thinking is right.”

all you can do is blink, and it feels like an eternity passes before you can gather your thoughts. “joshua,” you start, and you instantly hate how frightened you sound. “please. tell me what’s right.”

“this is the problem,” his voice raises ever so slightly in volume, exasperated. although when a tear escapes your eyelids he’s quick to wipe it away, calming himself down. “you’ve only ever had people telling you what’s right and wrong. you need to think for yourself, angel. really, what do you think is right?”

“i-i think,” you pause to readjust, settling a knee on either side of his lap. at this rate you might pass out from how fast your mind is spinning. “if something feels good... it must be right.” you swear there’s the tiniest of glints in his eyes, appearing for a mere second before it’s gone.

“do you know what good feels like, angel?” you suck in a breath, placing your shaking hands on his shoulders for some semblance of stability. his fingers brush some of your hair off your collarbone, revealing your neck to him.

it’s as if you’ve suddenly left your own body when you reach for his hands, bringing them to rest on your exposed thighs. a silent dare screaming touch me; for the first time, joshua is the one with a blush on his cheeks.

“i want you to show me.”

all the air disappears from your lungs when he kisses you, the action jarring and unlike any kiss you’ve shared before. his hands tightly grab the backs of your thighs, jerking you forward so your crotch grinds down directly onto his. an unfamiliar, white-hot fire explodes inside you at the contact, its flames impatiently lapping at your insides.

whining, you pull back for air and he wastes no time in attaching his mouth to your throat. “josh,” you grip his hair, pulling a groan from his chest. when he finally looks up at you his eyes are as good as black.

“none of those church boys get to touch you like this, do they?” he murmurs breathlessly, lifting you at the waist with ease before laying you flat on your back, splayed out against his black leather seats. “is this all for me?” he hikes your dress up around your hips.

“yes,” you whimper, lost in the way he can handle you so delicately and dominantly at the same time.

his tattooed arm snakes underneath you, bringing your chest flush to his as he kisses you messily again. “i need to hear you say it, angel. tell me you want it,” he rasps, ducking down to kiss the necklace resting at the base of your throat. “tell me you’re mine, and i’m yours.”

never in a million years would you have expected to be here - warm and needy beneath a satanist, complete with an upside-down cross tattooed on his chest. all the times you imagined this scenario in your head, you expected to feel shy and embarrassed in front of joshua’s hungry eyes. yet, strangely enough, you feel... invigorated. empowered. free.

“i am yours,” you look joshua dead in the eyes, leading his hand to the waistband of your panties, “and you are mine.”

forgive me, father, for i am sinning.

[mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6]

Long Day

Paring reader and Brian/Young K.

So, listen. He’s been on the brain for a while and I need to get this off my chest before I explode.

Word count: ~1.8k

Warnings: SMUT. Dirty talk, oral, de-stress sex, low-key mating press, DADDY, praise, some fluff

Don’t forget to like, reblog, follow, turn on notifications if you want, check out my masterlist, request/ask. Thank you 💕

He slams the door shut, shuffling in his steps. I'm sitting on the couch, cowering from the sudden noise. He must've had a rough day, I haven't seen him since this morning and now it's practically midnight. Without a word, he plops on the cushion next to me, leaning forward, his face in his hands.

"Am I a failure?", he muffles. He definitely had a rough day. We've been working on self confidence for a long time and lately he's been referring back to his previous behaviors. I scoot closer to him and kiss his shoulder.

"It's impossible for you to be a failure. You work hard and love what you do. That alone doesn't make you a failure", I comfort. He takes the bait and takes a deep breath. Dropping his hands, I could see how puffy his eyes are. He must've been crying on the way home.

"Am I a failure as a boyfriend?", he continues.

"Baby, no", I kiss his cheek, squeezing his arm.

"I love you so much. You need to relax", I worry. I move to kneel in front of him, my hands on his knees. His eyes are closed.

"Look at me", I change my tone from nurturing to serious. He looks at me with his glossy eyes.

"I'm going to do something for you but when I'm done, you're going to take me to our room and fuck your day away", I propose. He perks as if he's a kid going to the toy store.

"What are you going to do?", he bites his lip, unbuttoning his jeans. I push him back to recline. I unzip his pants and tug both his jeans and boxer briefs down to the middle of his thighs, springing his cock out. I inch forward to drool on his length. I rub it in to get him harder. He knocks his head back, hissing between his teeth.

"Poor baby didn't get touched today, did he?", I tease, rubbing circles on the head with my thumb. His lips do a sexy little snarl. He "hates" it when I call it baby. He may pack a monster in his pants, but it can be very submissive to me. Running my tongue on the underside of his cock, I take only a couple of inches of him at a time. He's itching for more. He balls my hair in a fist, clutching at the handful. I bob my head, still only a couple inches in, just to tease him. The view of him being so desperate for more gets me hotter. He's always been the dominant one, he's dominant by nature, but changing things up for once is getting fun. It could change.

"Baby, I know you can do more", he whimpers. I bob deeper, bottoming out. My bottom lip grazing his balls, makes him tense. He hits my gag reflex but I toughen it out. He mutters sweet nothings under his breath. I bob my head from his tip to the base, sucking every inch. The pace is slow but sensual. We don't like being distracted by speed when we could feel every cell of each other.

"Daddy had a long day", he breaths. There he is. That's the man I know and love. My nails dig into his thighs hearing the word "Daddy".

"Shit, baby. Your mouth is-fuck", he stumbles on his words. Talk it out, baby.

"I could have your mouth on my cock forever, but damn do I want your pussy", he growls, bucking his hips, thrusting into my mouth. One of my hands slip down to feel my wet panties, feeling my pulsating clit and sensitive entrance, while the other hand fondles his balls the way he likes. If I'm not careful, he'll cum soon. He grabs my arm, taking my hand away from touching myself.

"Your pussy is mine", he asserts, licking my fingers clean from my juices. My suction grows more powerful, my bobbing turning into slams. His moans are angelic in the sound but demonic in the intention.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum, stop", he taps my shoulder. I release with a pop, wiping the access drool from my chin. I tend to get sloppy when I go down on him, no exception from him either.

"If I'm going to cum, I want to cum in your pussy", he pants. He was so close, I could see it in his face. He undresses the rest of the way and picks me up, bridal style.

"Fuck my day away, huh? Get ready, baby", he warns me, carrying me to our bedroom.

He tosses me on the bed, admires the sight of me waiting for him. I begin to take off my shirt, but he stops me.

"Is Daddy going to undress me?", I wonder. Nothing gets him hotter than me calling him Daddy. He loves calling himself Daddy, but it doesn't come close to when I say it.

"Daddy is going to take care of his princess", he licks across my bottom lip before leaving a soft kiss on my lips. He undresses me with such force, I'm surprised he didn't rip anything. The pulsing in my pussy turns almost unbearable from anticipating a rough pounding. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me into his lap.

"Don't worry, princess, you're going to ride Daddy for a little bit then I'll take you in your favorite positions", he promises. He positions himself to meet my entrance.

"Which positions?", I act cute, pouting my lip, batting my eyelashes.

"Doggy then one leg over my shoulder so I can see you cum", he lists. Without hesitation, I sink onto him, taking every inch of him smoothly.

"If you were this wet, you could've told me, baby", he hisses, wiping strands of hair out of my face.

"I wanted to make Daddy happy first", I bite my lip, lifting myself up to his tip.

"You always make Daddy happy, no matter what", he praises. I sit back down, leaving him speechless. This is exactly what he needed to forget about his day. I bounce on him in a casual pace. I sink my teeth into his neck to muffle my moans.

"Don't hide, princess, let it out", he grabs me by my waist to slam me onto him. I unleash a moan so deep, I almost didn't recognize it.

"That's it", he barks, throwing me on the bed. His hands on my hips he brings my ass up and slams into me. The angle is what gets me, he always hits the spot. His hands holding my hips, rubbing my ass that slaps against him, a sound joining the mix along with moans and wet pussy. My hands tangle into the blanket under me, trying to match the pressure growing in me.

"Fuck", I scream in ecstasy. A hard smack sting a cheek.

"That's right, let me hear you", he thrusts just as deep as the first. With the contestant jabbing at my g spot, I'm close to cumming, but I know he won't stop there. My moans turn to fragile whimpers.

"You like how I get you just right?", he grunts for validation.

"Yes", I pant, hiding my face. He balls my hair in a fist and pulls to lift my head up.

"Don't hide", his voice deepens. I just have trouble believing that a man this beautiful could want me. He deserves a model, an angel, an ungodly sex goddess, but he got is me. He always tells me how pretty I am and how lucky he is to have such a perfect girl, but I don't know if I could ever see what he sees. I cross my arms behind me, grabbing my own wrists. He uses the hand that was holding my hips to grab my arms for stability in order to go even harder.

"Fuck, I love how your ass shakes when I fuck you like this", he moans. Harder and harder, my legs get weak. I'm about to cum, but I don't have the strength to tell him. Fuck. What he does to me. My pussy clenches around him while I cum, making me gasp from the sensation. His hand goes from my hair to my throat in a second.

"I thought you would be a good girl and tell me you were going to cum", his stern demeanor makes me hotter.

"I'm sorry", I apologise in a moan. He pulls out and flips me over.

"Will you be a good girl and tell me you're going to cum?", he raises an eyebrow. I nod.

"Yes what?", he glides his fingers along my chest.

"Yes, Daddy", I pant.

"Good girl", he smiles, throwing my leg over his shoulder, wrapping the other leg around his waist and carrying on in the same deep, hard pace. Fuck, this angle! My toes curl, my nails scratch his shoulders and chest, my eyes weld shut. I'm coming undone before his very eyes.

"Yes, baby", he praises. One of his hands holds my face, caressing my cheek, while the other rubs circles on my clit.

"Cum for me, princess", he yells. I somehow cum on command. This is new. He will definitely use this to his advantage.

"Yes, just for me", he confidently laughs, knocking his head back, he takes in the feeling of my clenched pussy around his cock.

"My turn to cum", he changes from confident to cocky. He leans towards, one arm holding my head up to watch his cock pump into me while the other arm rests to hold up his body. I don't know how a man could have the stamina that he has, especially after a long day that he had. The overstimulation is killing me, but I could also have him do this forever.

"I'm going to cum inside you, I don't care" he huffs. We usually go for the pull out method but tonight he wants to cum in me? Fuck, what happened today?

"Cum inside me", I seductively whisper in his ear, driving him over the edge. His cum face has to be one of my favorite faces on him. Biting his lip, furrowed brows, dark eyes that could hypnotize me. His heavy breathing alone could send me over the edge, so deep and raspy from the moaning. He stays inside me to ensure every drop of him is inside me. His arms wobble from fatigue. I grab his sweaty face to look at me.

"I love you", my heart flutters. His face of exhaustion cracks a smile.

"I love you so much", he breaths before kissing my lips, pressing our sweaty foreheads together.

"I don't know where I would be without you", he continues.

[infinite-hearts-333]

Broken pack, Broken wolf

Sander sides, Analogical (Eventually), Logan Angst, Werewolf AU

WARNING: really bad writing, angsty, lack of sleep and starvation, swearing I'll add to this

Before 

Part 5- Welp, the cat- um, dog’s out of the bag?

Virgil woke cold, alone and very, very scared. He blinked once, twice, confused at where the soft warm thing he was cuddling before had gone to. He slightly pouted at the lost, and shifted, curling up more in hope of gaining more warmth. A few minutes past and Virgil was still awake, and huffed, swinging his legs out of bed and sitting up. He wouldn't be sleeping any time soon, or well... not here. He picked up his phone, turning it on. He hissed as its bright light scorched his eyeballs, and he fumbled with it for a few minutes, desperate to turn down the brightness.

One thirty. Virgil huffed, rubbing his head. The nightmare- that's what he believed had woken him up, was a shattered memory, only noises and colours were the only thing that came to mind when he tried to recall it. Virgil shuffled, and then stood. Maybe someone was awake? It was unlikely.... But... Virgil didn't wanna be alone. He missed bathing in the soft warmth from the movie marathon, and Virgil assaulted his brain in trying to remember what it was. White and blue, glasses, and a firm but undeniable soft grip. Logan? Virgil felt his cheeks flush. It made sense, the only person near him was Logan at the time.

Maybe he wouldn't mind? Virgil shifted, his brain arguing about whether to go find Logan so late at night. Virgil stubbornly got up, paced around before storming (Quietly mind you-) out of his room. He twisted down the halls, before turning and going the longer way to Logan's room out of pure spite. Finally he found himself in front of Logan's door. This was dumb he shouldn't be here, all he was going to do is annoy him, and then he'll hate him oh god he should just go back to his room shouldn't he-? Virgil was cut out of his thoughts by the muffled sound of a laptop closing, a sigh and a sniffle.

Virgil froze. Logan was awake at this ungodly hour? And.... was he.. crying? Virgil inhaled, gathering all his strength and knocked on the door before slightly opening it and peeking his head around the corner. Logan was very much awake, and by the looks of it, very much shocked and.... scared? Virgil's eyes widened, and his mouth was left ajar as he stared. Logan had a tail. And wolf ears. A fucking tail and wolf ears. Logan's eyes were just as wide, and it was only then that Virgil noticed his shoulders were shaking as he took a scared step back, ears folding down and tail tucking itself in between his legs. "I-i-it isn't w-wwhat you t-t-think Virgil." Logan got out, and Virgil barely picked up on the soft whine that came from the other.

"You're a werewolf." Virgil breathed, shock turning into awe. Logan had backed up into a wall, and whined again, much louder than before. Virgil walked into the room completely, shutting the door behind him as he walked over to Logan. Logan whimpered, and began to look around frantically, pushing up against the wall. Without thinking Virgil reached to touch one of Logan's ears to see if it was real, but Logan flinched hard, throwing his hands up over his head. "P-p-please d-dont h-hurt m-me!!" Logan choked out, trembling. Virgil blinked, and lowered his hand, now confused and slightly horrified. "I'm not going to hurt you Lo." he said softly. "I would never hurt you. You being a werewolf changes nothing." Logan peeked through his fingers, also confused. "W-what?"

Virgil did his best to mimic the reassuring smile Logan always gave him when he was nervous. "I'm not going to hurt you Lo, and I won't let the others hurt you either, if they go to do so." This whole scenario had sent a pang of pain into Virgil's heart. It hurt that Logan believed that his species would mean the others would hurt him. Logan slowly moved his hands from his head, one ear folding forward while the other remained flat. Logan blinked, and shuffled slightly, but didn't speak. Virgil smiled again, and went to reach out again, much slower than before.

Logan watched Virgil, curling in on himself even more as the hand neared his face and then moved to lightly stroke Logan's perked ear. The ear was soft, like silk, and incredibly fluffy. Logan froze, blinking, and then all the tenseness in his shoulders released, and he leaned a little into the hand with a content smile. Virgil fought back a 'awww' and smiled, gently taking one of Logan's hands and started to lead him away from the wall. Now that Virgil's attention was away from the fact that Logan was a werewolf- well sort of- Virgil looked around. The room seemed normal, aside from the weird looking pillow fort, primarily made of a massive mattress and firm walls with a blanket thrown over the top, making it like a tent.

There was a desk, a dresser, and unsurprisingly a massive bookshelf. The roof was painted with a picture of the night sky and the floor was covered in thick grey carpet. Virgil came to the conclusion the weird mattress thing was a bed, and led Logan over to it. "Why are you up so late?" Virgil asked, ensuring to continue the steady rubbing of Logan's ear, which seemed to lull the other into a calmer state. "I could say the same about you." Mumbled logan, voice thick with bliss. "Touche. But I wasn't awake before, I was sleeping and woke up." Virgil said with a shrug. Logan hummed, his eyes fluttering shut. "I was working. I guess i..i .." Logan cut himself off with a large yawn, revealing massive long fangs. "I didn't notice the time... why are you here?"

Virgil blushed a bit. "I couldn't sleep... I wanted to see you." Logan hummed softly, and nearly walked into Virgil once he stopped moving. Virgil blushed more, letting Logan's hand go to softly stroke both of Logan's ears. Logan's content sleepy smile grew, and he leaned closer, nearly falling forward. Virgil chuckled. "Let's get you to bed, you need sleep." Virgil let go to Logan's ears, taking his hands again. Logan pouted slightly, but quickly stopped, and followed Virgil down into a squatting position to crawl into the pillow fort. Virgil didn't mention the adorableness of Logan's pouting, nor the weirdness of having a pillow fort instead of a bed. Virgil guessed the pillow fort was a werewolf thing, which he made a mental note to harass all the info Logan had about werewolves out of him in the morning.

Once Logan was curled up in a bundle of pillows with a couple stuffed wolves, Virgil turned to leave. He came here for a reason, but he didn't wanna bother Logan any longer, given he would probably want to have some space. However, Virgil was stopped by a warm hand firmly, but softly grabbing a hold of his wrist, followed by a soft whine.

Virgil looked back to see Logan pouting slightly, ears folded down. "S-stay? Please? I don't wanna be alone again....." he stuttered quietly. Virgil felt his heart melt, and smiled slightly feeling his cheeks heat up. "Of course." He said softly, turning back around and crawling over to Logan. Logan smiled in a way that Virgil had never seen before, and his heart melted more. He would die happily to get to see Logan smile like that again. Virgil laid down right next to Logan, trying to ignore his blush that had rapidly grown. Logan shamelessly snuggled up to Virgil, tucking his head under Virgil's chin and tangling their legs together. Virgil blush went a vibrant red that reached his ears, and Logan let out a small happy dog-like growl. Logan's ears were perked forward, brushing against Virgil cheeks and neck and Logan's bushy silky black tail was draped over virgil.

"Thank you...." Mumbled Logan, relaxing as Virgil hesitantly wrapped his arms around Logan's waist. Virgil scoffed, pretending it wasn't a big deal that he was cuddling the hottest side in the mind palace, and that he definitely didn't have a crush on him. "No problem teach...." mumbled Virgil, resting his head on top of Logan's directly in between the two fluffy wolf ears, which continued to brush Virgil's cheeks. Virgil stayed awake for a bit, shifting one hand to reach up and began to stroke Logan's silky soft ears again. Logan was barely awake, nuzzling and nestling closer, his eyes slowly sliding shut. Virgil smiled as he watched the logical one fall asleep, before he too, closed his eyes, feeling much safer now that he was with someone. And the two uneasy sleepers were out like lights.

Virgil kinda wished he could stay asleep forever. His bed seemed softer, comfier, like he was sinking into it. There was warmth everywhere, wrapped around him and weighing him down a bit- which was probably a weighted blanket of some sort. (Maybe Patton had given it to him-?) But the biggest heat source was pressed neatly against Virgil's chest, fitting there perfectly as if they were two puzzle pieces that fitted together. Virgil clung to it, holding it close, and by the way it snuggled closer with a small content purr-like-growl, Virgil guessed that it didn't wanna move either.

Wait. Growl? Virgil forced his eyes open in panic, only to relax once more as the sight of Logan came into view. Ah, that's right. The resident nerd was a wolfy boi. Virgil softly huffed, and blinked groggily, sluggishly lifting his hand from being curled around Logan's lower back to lightly thread through Logan's hair. Logan's soft growling got louder, and he nestled even closer, nuzzling away at Virgils chest.Virgil softly smiled, recalling everything he could about werewolves. In Virgil's past life, he had a UTube channel on Cryptids and spirits and all the spoopy stuff. Werewolves were pack creatures right?

Virgil looked down at the small stuffed wolves that sat around him, and picked one up. Could these be Logan's past pack mates? He probably missed them a lot. Virgil softly frowned, and looked down at the Logical side that was desperately clinging to Virgil. Wolves.... Wolves were social creatures, normally bonded very close to their pack mates. Virgil looked down pitifully at Logan, softly rubbing circles to one of Logan's ears. Without the touch of his pack... Virgil wouldn't be surprised if Logan had some form of touch starvation.

Logan let out another soft happy rumble, and Virgil could feel Logan's tail slightly wagging form under the blanket. Virgil shifted lightly, and peeked under the covers to look at the tail. It was sleek and black, draped possessively across Virgil's form. It was then that the small, near unnoticeable facts about Logan arose to Virgil. His shirt seemed far too big for him. Virgil blinked, and frowned some more. He then blushed, hesitant to check, but for the sake of his anxieties, carefully lifted up a bit of Logan's shirt. Virgil froze with shock, staring wide eyed at Logan's stomach. He could count Logan's ribs; he was that skinny. "Oh logan...." Whispered Virgil. He looked at Logan with a worried look, and lowered Logan's shirt now focusing on Logan's face.

There was something flaking under Logan's eyes. Virgil, very carefully, wiped his finger under Logan's eye, revealing a dark purple colour. Virgil held in a gasp, and wiped more of what appeared to be founation away, until Logan's bags were visible. Not even Virgil had bags that bad. Virgil bit his lip to hold in a sob. Had anyone else noticed? Or cared? Tears welled up in his eyes, and he held Logan closer, hiding his face in Logan's hair. Logan let out a soothing happy rumble, wrapping his arms more around Virgil's chest and back, nuzzling against Virgil's neck.

Virgil shamelessly nuzzled Logan's hair and ears, however he fought back the want to plant kisses all along Logan's ears. Virgil was rewarded with a happy almost trill like noise from Logan. "I'm gonna help you now Logan." Virgil whispered the logan, tucking a loose strand of hair out of Logan's face. Logan shifted his head to nuzzle Virgil's hand, a content happy smile on his lips. "I promise."

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Next

[aworldoffandoms]

Oooo I just read through the prompts, "#59 - Love was not the problem" has so much potential, I love a good angst-fuelled story between Ethan and MC!

Authors Note: I’m back again! This time with some angst which I’m sure you’ll either love or hate lol. 

Thank you to @choices-love-affair​ for this ask/prompt! Hope you enjoy it! I hope I did the prompt justice 💖

Prompt is: love was not the problem

Prompt is in bold.

***

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC [Nicolette Valentine]

Word Count: 1, 250 +/-

Rating: PG (for swearing)

Warnings: No warnings. Just angst. Maybe Ethan being a major asshole but nothing vulgar. 

Summary: Nicolette never thought her life would turn out this way. What does she have left?

I’m tagging my OH tag list but please let me know if you’d like to stay on it or would like to be removed.

Open Heart Tag: @senseofduties @polishchoicesfan @princess-geek @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @binny1985 @fanficnewbie @x-kyne-x​ @thefluffyphotographer @lilyofchoices @thecordoniandiaries @rainbowsinthestorm @cxld-play @jens-diamondchoices @malakbesharah @hopelessly-shipper @my-heart-beats-for-ya @landofenchantedwonder @sabrinahoffersonsworld @flyawayboo @stanathanxoox @oofchoices @thequeenofcronuts @heauxplesslydevoted @bi-cookie @kingliamsbish @trappedinfandoms @supercoolperson0808 @perriewinklenerdie @riverrune

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Pixelberry and all characters belong to them.

***

CHANGING TIDES

Nicolette breathes a sigh as she stares at the photo of what was, back then, the happiest day of her life and the stepping stone to what was to be a beautiful future. After all the hurdles, the holding back, the pining, it had all built up until neither could resist the temptation of each other.

Her eyes sting at the memory, the years of love, of comfort, of support, of successes, ebbing away into something neither of them expected. 

Her attention is taken when the person beside her nudges her side, Nicolette straightens up and turns her gaze to her lawyer, her gaze sympathetic. She had seen many couples come through these halls and she admits this was one of the most heartbreaking.

Nicolette gives a wane smile to her lawyer beside her before she fixes her gaze on the two men in front of her. Her heart almost beats out of her chest again. After so many years, he still looks as handsome as he did the moment she met him. 

“Are we agreed?” 

Nicolette’s ears perk up at that statement and she fixes her green eyes on her husband. “Agreed to what? We haven’t agreed to anything about this situation. I don’t want to get rid of it.” 

Her husband groans from his spot on the other side of the conference table as he runs a hand down his face in frustration.

“What are you trying to do to me, Nicolette?” 

Nicolette’s voice rises in outrage, the implication of his words not lost on her. Was he really trying to make it seem like she was inconveniencing him? “I’m not trying to do anything Ethan! I’m just letting you know that I don’t agree with the statement outlined in the document. I, at least, deserve more of the share considering I worked my ass off to get it where it is today.” 

Ethan gives her a smile, none of the warmth it used to bring to her. His next words don’t hold any of the endearing qualities. It was cold, emotionless, annoyed. 

“Must you make everything so difficult? This is the only problem I’ve had ever with you since this started.” 

She leans back against the leather seat and folds her arms across her chest. She purses her lips and resolutely decides not to meet his blue gaze because she knows she’ll cave if she does. The hurt and the sadness still was constant in her heart and made her feel nauseous. She didn’t want this to be happening and yet, here they are.

She swallows against the lump in her throat and clears it to gather strength in her voice in which her psyche had none, the sound almost deafening in the expansive conference room. “Ethan… I’m not trying to be difficult. I won’t be taken to the cleaners. For the past seven years, we’ve been a team, building our practice from the ground up and now you decide that you want most of the shares?” 

Ethan scoffs. “I think I have given enough of my time and effort to get the majority. You’ve done well, I’ll give you that but without me, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.” 

Nicolette’s gut twists in rage at that statement and she doesn’t hold back from her ire. Gone was the slicing pain of this situation and in its place was a woman on fire, burning with the need to put her soon-to-be ex-husband in his place. She refrains for slamming her hand against the table with her next words.

“Deserve it? You think you deserve it?! You have got an ungodly amount of money already, Ethan! How dare you imply that I shouldn’t have a majority share! How could you possibly think that taking this practice away from me will be a good thing?  This is my life. It’s all I have left…and now you want to rip it from me because you’re a petty asshole? No! I’m going to fight for this. This shouldn’t be too much of a problem to handle. If you loved me at all you’d understand that. You’d understand how much I need this.” 

Ethan stares at her, his blue eyes piercing, his jaw twitches against his clenched teeth. He’s seething. Nicolette can tell when he’s livid because his shoulders tense up. Any other day, years ago, she’d be afraid of that but not anymore. 

The next words out of Ethan’s mouth cut her to her core, the pain lancing through her like a thousand knives as it takes her breath away. 

“Love was not the problem. Hell, love has got nothing to do with this. It’s simply business, Nicolette.”

Nicolette barks out a humourless laugh, her red painted nails digging into her jacket to hold herself together.

“You want to treat this as a business deal? Was the last ten years of marriage a business deal to you too, Ethan? Do I mean so little to you now?” 

Ethan stares at her, not one emotion showing on his face. Nicolette’s heart breaks further at the sight. Ethan used to be so expressive with her, years and years together had made them more in sync than they even realised. They were a team. A partnership. And yet…even teams become frail, and partnerships break down. 

Ethan stares at Nicolette for a few silent moments, his eyes thoughtful as his brain clicks over. It isn’t long before he turns to his lawyer, whispering in his ear. After a few quiet murmurs, Ethan clears his throat as he shifts in his seat, entwining his hands on the table, his shoulders straight and his face closed off.

“Fine, Nicolette. I’ll accept your stipulations. We’ll have an equal share of the practice but I won’t be actively practising. I’ll leave all administration duties to you. Any correspondence between us will be on a need to know basis. Deal?” 

Nicolette manages a small nod, her mouth twitching to fight a relieved smile. If she couldn’t have Ethan, then she’ll have the one piece of him she could. She isn’t going to pretend that each word out of his mouth was like he was slicing her insides like glass, however, she moves through it.

Ethan sighs, pushing back against the table. “Are we done here? I have an appointment with Naveen.”

“Yes, Mr Ramsey. Just sign here and here and you’re free to go.” 

The scratch of a pen is all Nicolette hears before Ethan stands up, giving one last look to her before he sighs, running a hand through his hair. He hesitates for a moment as if he wants to say something but he doesn’t, closing his mouth, acknowledging Nicolette with a nod of farewell before striding out of the door without looking back.

So, that’s it then…

“Mrs Rasmey? You’ll have to sign this as well.” 

I’m not Mrs Ramsey anymore.

She almost doesn’t want to. She wants to fight. She wants to fight for them, however, she comes to realise, there hasn’t been a ‘them’ in a while now. So with a heavy heart and tears blurring her vision, she signs her name against the dotted line, the document a prime example of where their lives have ended up.

The words against the document seem to mock her and she takes a shuddering breath and stands up, pulling her jacket closer to herself. Nicolette walks out of the conference room and into the next phase of her life. She’ll get better. She knows she will.  

It’s the cold sting of life, of circumstances, changing, of people’s paths in life going in two different directions and her break-up with her husband was one of those casualties. Despite the cleansing breath she takes as she heads to her car, she knows the events of these proceedings will be a part of her forever, a constant dulling pain that will haunt her for the rest of her life. 

She might have lost the love of her life but she knew there was more to hope for. Changing tides come and go and this was the tide in which Nicolette could leave and re-emerge as a strong, independent woman. 

Yeah, she was going to look forward to that.