#it is so depressing to me that sometimes ppl will just make content that's like

[theajaheira]

some of the reviews i get on north star that make me a little :/ about this fandom in general (never towards the reviewers tho!) are "wow, this is such a wonderful fic! it's been a while since i've seen a fic that actually tries to treat every character with love, humanity, and understanding" and i'm like I MEAN THANKS BUT I WOULD PREFER NOT TO BE THE ONLY FIC WRITER CURRENTLY DOING THIS?

[juuheizou]

“[character] eats people” not in a condemning hannibal or whatever as immoral art kind of way but “they eat people” in a trying to get people to appreciate the lack of easy answers to tokyo ghoul morals way

[year2000electronics]

wow. four years old huh. i'll keep this part short but sappy rant under the readmore! happy four years!!

it feels like just yesterday when i watched this series on a whim because my friend kept making jokes about my ocs with hlvrai quotes and then it was so funny and engaging that it pulled me out of a months-long depressive slump... feels like just yesterday that my work was finally being seen by people, yesterday that the summer of 2020 was one of the most interesting summers ive ever had, yesterday when the 2020-2021 school year ended up being one of the most difficult times of my life and hlvrai really helped me get through it. without exaggeration this series has changed my life

yeah we all may have had ups and downs, like a LOT of downs, but ill always consider hlvrai to be very special to me, not just because i love it but because it represents so many good things to me: friends joking around having fun, friends carrying their past experiences with them (gmod rping, an affinity for extensively-planned bits, jokes that could ONLY be made by rtvs with each other, you get it), and how the best things often come from happy accidents, from people who DARE to CARE, because hlvrai is good because theyre not afraid to be silly! theyre not afraid to be stupid and sincere and ridiculous!!

and the most inspiring part to me has always been that hlvrai wasnt made to chase any trends. it didnt come in the wake of anything, it was made, and then after it was made, rtvs pretty obviously made it clear that they wouldnt let their lightning-in-a-bottle series box them in. like everyone on the team is very strongly against ppl being parasocial to them, they dont let people beg them for the funny half life info and references, all that. as a creator its cool to see people doing what they love and not succumbing to any pressure algorithmically or otherwise, especially during the lockdowns, when a lot of other streamer-based fandoms cropped up that had a VERY big 'encouraging being parasocial' problem. its always been nice to have a web series thats just one of many awesome things rtvs has done

hlvrai was everything i could have ever asked for and more, and me myself i was perfectly content with just having the standalone series forever, because sometimes a standalone thing is all you need. but with hlage, bbvrai, and hl2vrai being announced, im still so happy to be here and so happy that i get to keep enjoying one of my favourite pieces of media <3

[sid-sn]

My Darling Irene

my Irene headcanons below cuz someone asked <3

all interpretations of characters are my own and it’s not historical or canonical accurate, will change based on the future canon updates

contains certain explicit content so please see the tags, outlast itself is a warning tbh

According to the voicelines she’s drugged and hypnotized by her husband and most of the time is just a very obedient trad wife. But they also mentioned she would argue with Easterman and wants to leave him after discovering he’s been drugging her. So in my headcanon her mental state is very unstable, she’s drifting in and out of the drugs effects, she’s not entirely lost and is constantly fighting against the manipulation of her husband.

But as the time settings is in the 1960s so the general environment is pretty misogynistic. She’s confused about the social role of a woman that she often questions wether this abusive marriage is expected to be normal or she’s going insane. (That’s when Avellanos comes in and change her entire worldview with lesbians sex)

As for the self harm wounds that’s solely because Easterman loves to have power over ppl so he makes her harm herself under drugs or hypnosis. (according to his conversation with Wernicke I assume he’s repulsed at hetero sex, probably because of his own gender dysphoria. So yes that misogynistic freak gets off to her pain is hardly a surprise) Irene usually doesn’t remember the process, so she mistaken those are because of her own alcoholism and depression. She hates herself and those wounds, would use bandages to hide them.

I headcanon she comes from a decent wealthy family, provided her with enough sense of self and knowledge but not enough to let her see beyond the social gender discipline. She met Easterman and his brother Stanley in high school, their relationship is kind of like the langermanns and Jessica situation in O2. Stanley secretly had a crush on her but unfortunately Irene only views him as a friend back then, too blinded by the feigned maturity of Hendrick and her family probably favors Hendrick over Stanley’s soft and pessimistic personality anyway. Both of the brothers are not mentally stable as they both grow up in an abusive household, unlike Hendrick who is good at hiding his fucked up mentality Stanley is very aware of his inability to provide her with a healthy relationship, but still he cares for Irene deeply. She later developed some feelings for Stanley after she’s stuck in the terrible marriage.

But then again we know too little about the brothers, the whole Easterman family is a giant mess. To elaborate on my headcanons on Easterman’s family will take another wall of text so I will skip that here, but I’m also very interested in that topic.

Anyway we know what happened to Stanley next(actually we don’t) Irene is absolutely devastated, would often see him in her dreams and drugs induced hallucinations. Sometimes Stanley appears to her in an unspeakable way(my explanation for the uniform kink, that police line is irrelevant to me idc), she’s terrified of her own infidelity but it’s a comfort to her nonetheless. She’d see him appearing as a corpse sometimes but he’d never been scary to her. Everything about Stanley is a comfort compared to her reality.

Her feelings regarding her husband is mixed. Deep down she hates his guts but the environment around her is making it impossible for her to leave, so her mind would probably develop a self protect mechanism that’s build around the fond memories with him before marriage, which leads to her thinking she still loves her husband. Also the drugs and hypnosis aren’t helping.

In conclusion she’s not a blank trad wife character to me, and I don’t think that’s what red barrels wanted her to be either.

[thesuperiorgenshinaddict]

Angel Dust N$FW Alphabet

AN: i was trying to see what other ppl write abt angel dust for motivation or something but there's like almost nothing. am i crazy??? i found a singular ns//fw alphabet about him. someone please write about him thanks xoxo also for these i'm assuming that you're in a relationship w/ him or at least really friendly fuckbuddies Pairing: Angel Dust x GN! Reader Warnings: Sexual content, Switch! Angel Dust, Valentino mentioned, Self-Hatred, idk it's mainly just sweet nasty fluffy bullshit. actually disgustingly sweet blergh

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) His job revolves around sex. He's done this tons of times, makes sure you're feeling okay and gets you drinks and snacks and whatever you need. Takes a bath with you afterwards and if you're feeling too tired to get up, he'll just carry you over and clean you up and tucks you into bed afterwards. Forehead kisses, woo!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Despite him constantly flexing about how attractive he is, I feel like he probably feels disgusted at himself sometimes. Thinks that he's just an object of sexual attraction after a long day at work. Make sure you tell him about how lovely he is. I'm highkey trying to think of a single horny thing to put in here to make him seem less depressed but I can't think of anything. Uhhh, fuck.

He loves every part of you, so I can't really think of anything in particular. Likes holding the area between your hips and waist for support or holding you under him, whatever your preference is. He's versatile.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) The dude's done so many things with cum. Would swallow it and loves seeing it all over your or his body. This was more of a brain rot thought, but I randomly thought about how he's a spider. Hear me out. His cum's like the fucking spider web material but in a more watery form. It's a bit hard to wash out and gets abso-fucking-lutely everywhere. Tastes relatively basic, but the texture makes it a bit strange. Great, just wait until future jobs pull this up and ask me if I'm attracted to spiders. I'm cooked.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) For a second I was just going to type STD with a shit ton of exclamation marks, but we can go hope that Valentino's stars are tested. I really don't think Angel Dust has a lot of 'dirty secrets' considering how his job makes him do a lot of different things.

This is like the second time I've pulled this exact thing where I turn this into a completely non-dirty secret but he loves soft sex. Is this because every character I write presents as a blatantly horny fuckwad? Gee, I might have to switch it up soon with a less horny person. Or demon. Whatever.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) We already knew what was going to be written here. He's seen and done everything. Even though his job requires him to exaggerate moaning and whatever, he knows what feels good and what's not sexy. He would catch on to where you're the most sensitive and target that.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) He doesn't have a favorite one, but he enjoys the ones where he can see your face so he can lean close and give you a little peck on the lips. Angel's main priority is to make sure you're feeling good, so if you're wanting it to be a bit more rough, he's down for doggy style or whatever kinky shit ya throw at him. I'm resisting the urge to just say 'ya' instead of you for the rest of this thing. Fuck, his talking style is worming it's way into my daily conversations too. It's infectious (like the herpes he probably has. I'm sorry the opportunity was just too perfect LMFAO)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Leaning more on the joking side. He'll say like twenty sex jokes per round, minimum. I don't even think I'm exaggerating there considering how majority of his script in the show was literally just innuendos. If you're feeling upset, he'd make sure to tone the jokes down and be a bit more romantic and everything. None of the jokes are degrading though, they're always on the lighter side since he knows how vulnerable sex is. There's this drabble I really want to put in but it's way more AMAB! leaning, maybe I'll write a little thing about him later on a separate post. (most subtle self-promotion /s)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) I'm thinking rather completely clean or trimmed. Since his job needs him to look good, he always makes sure he's in good condition. It's pretty much the same shade as his hair with maybe a slight pink tinge to it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Hope ya read the AN part because I'm assuming you're close to him. In that case, he's pretty romantic about it. Tells you how good you're doing and peppers your face with kisses. Overloads you with compliments.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Honestly, he's exhausted from work so he never really has a reason to masturbate (unless Valentino has it in one of his scripts). Usually just flops down into his bed and cuddles with Fat Nuggets. Although, he'd find some mutual masturbation attractive. If he accidentally walks in on you masturbating to him, he'd totally tease you about it. Maybe. I don't even know at this point. I think my brain's dissecting itself

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Bondage (Giving or receiving), Body Worship (Giving or receiving), damn this shit is mild asf I'm trying to think of literally anything else and I can't uhhhhhh... Idk oral probably

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) He'd probably prefer somewhere more private. I don't think he'd completely be against public/semi-public sex, but it's more of the fact that he's famous and would rather get paid for giving people a show. Horniness aside though, I think he would rather just be in a cozy place to fuck.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) This one's kinda random but I feel like he'd be super into it if you showed off one of your talents. It doesn't even have to be physical, but like if you did some shit like idk math or something (please not math) he'd call you some flirty ass nickname mildly related to the subject at hand and do some dirty talking.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) He'd definitely get fucking flaccid if you're anything like Valentino. That being if you force him into a situation where he has no control whatsoever or if you're too harsh with him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Due to his occupation, he does giving way more often since he's pushed into a power bottom role. He rarely gets blowjobs, so he'd definitely enjoy it a ton, especially if it's more of a soft, romantic mood. His skill for giving is a 9.5-10/10 since he's been doing this shit for decades.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Oh my god. If I have to write 'oh yeah his job makes him do yadadada buuuuutttt' ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I'm actually going to start bawling my eyes out. I feel like if you've read this far and intended on reading with one hand, you're probably bored out of your mind already. I'm so sorry Buuutttt youuu guessseddd it. Enjoys both, likes slow a lot too cuz he doesn't get intimate stuff often yap yap yap uhghghghghghh im so sorry dude this must be so boring to read i'm sorry reader

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Quickies are pretty convenient for him, since Valentino makes him work often so he doesn't mind a quick sesh before heading off to work. If for whatever reason he has a break (or he magically quits his job), I think he'd probably prefer taking his time, but if he's in a rush or there's something he needs to do, he'll find a random secluded area for a quickie. I read that as quiche.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) If you can find something he never did before, then yeah, totes. Can't believe I said totes in 2024. Fuck. Anyway, there's no way it's that different from what he's done before because it really just boils down to 'idk just gotta get jizz', which is his talent.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He's used to taking long ass night shifts so he can go for a ton. I think he'd just go for 3~ when he has time, I don't think he's that desperate to fuck outside of work because he's probably pretty drained already. Thinking of that in the literal sense is lowkey nasty

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Owns a good bunch because he probably gets gifts from fans which end up just being dildos and vibrators and ass plugs or something. Like I said in the masturbation one, I don't think he really needs to use them that often, but he might use a dildo every now and then. He'd probably bring them out occasionally when having sex.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) I feel like he's teasing throughout the day since all he's apparently fluent in horndog language and only communicates in sex jokes. Slander aside, during the actual sex sesh whenever that is, I think he wouldn't do edging for that long and just skip the foreplay.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) When recording, he heavily exaggerates his moaning and it probably became a habit. Good luck with trying to be subtle because his voice alone could probably blow some poor kid's ears up.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Dogshit at playing Uno. Wow I'm so creative. Who could've thought of Uno when they read wild card! Haha. Haha. Hah. Ha. Fuck, I'm so shit at writing. Who let me have a computer again?

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Y'know, when you look at him, I don't think your first though is 'big dick energy'. When he was alive, I think it'd probably have been 5-5.5 inches. Definitely very slim with a rosy pink at the tip. I know he's 8 ft, but I still don't get big dick energy so I'm just gonna go with 6-7 and call it a day.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Probably still very high despite getting fucked constantly, but if you're not feeling sexual, I don't think he'd try to push it too far. Unless you're looking for angst or toxic headcanons, then push that shit to max. Delicious, painful angst. Yum! That's mainly prior to episode 4 though, since they speedran his entire fucking arc and ended it in like 2 episodes. Thanks pacing, I really appreciate it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He doesn't fall asleep easily for a variety of reasons, so he'd scroll on his phone for a bit or something before sleeping with you if he trusts you enough. AN: well that was dogshit thanks i hated it /jk but maybe I just have beef with 'wholesome' things. imo this is probably the type of bullshit they say when 'anthony' and 'angel dust' are different because this was definitely anthony or whatever then. man i gotta make this shit more horny next time, think i'll do val or blitzo or verosika or idk someone who's horny. like and follow for more banger content guys boom (seriously though i feel like this was super lame i'm sorry)

[p1xiemeat]

Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

[celestiallyslimy]

dear systems(?) of tumblr; (a genuine ask/vent)

i've been showing signs of dissociative identity disorder, and would like to know what people who do have the disorder see my experience as. disclaimer; i have not done much research on dissociative identity disorder, and i am tagging this with tags related to the content of the vent to reach an audience with actual knowledge on dissociative identity disorder, not because i think i have it. i hope that the way i tag doesnt offend people.

buffer for s/a(?), gaslighting, and ed mention also in case you dont wanna hear my sob story and want to know my actual ask, the actual ask is highlighted. the tldr is in red

so, when i was not even ten, my younger sisters would lick my boobs and try humping me and holding me down to slap my bare buttcheeks. my parents didn't help me at all, they said that they're too young to know it was sexual and i should set my own boundaries. i've had dreams about it but im unsure whether i should actually label it as s/a since my sisters are younger than me and less mature. i've also been told small things like "this song is called (example)" only to be told "i've never heard of that song, no it's called (example 2)" since i was 5. this has led to me questioning my identity, and not in the "im not cishet" way, and more of the "how old am i? am i even fourteen? was i even born as (deadname)?" way where i dont know my surroundings. until i was 6-7, i would assume everything i believed was a dream and end every sentence with "but yeah it was probably just a dream and not real". and then, there's my sisters body shaming me AT EIGHT until i started showing signs of bulimia and anorexia (although, my experiences have only aligned with certain systems and i have never seen a therapist, im NOT saying im diagnosed). they would make fun of my for my boobs, stomach, arms, etc.

i've been having multiple "personalities"? not really identities. i mean, the ones i make a distinction with (such as my blogs; i have three blogs right now) use different names and pronouns. but there are other ones with different habits and typing quirks. they never really manifest irl (other than my names, but all the ppl irl know (not my family) is that i go by salem, millie, and eris). sometimes, i dont want to speak at all, sometimes i talk way too much, other times, "i talk liek thizz :333 X333". my main blog, starrinymph, (even tho i dont use it much) goes by ambrose; but i go by ambrose a lot online. this blog (celestiallyslimy) goes by orion, daughterofnoridoorman, for fictionkin content, goes by sage, uzi, and v. it feels weird to put my names/pronouns that i use on one blog on another but i've been doing it anyways because i want to be consistent. but, even when im using a different personality than my basic one, i dont have gaps in my memory. i can switch between these identities voluntarily, but once it happens subconsiously (i dont know a better word), it doesnt really go away. and if i purposefully try and suppress it, then, i start getting anxious, and get the need to pick at my skin and hair. its also sometimes like i can hear different "people" in my head. if it helps, i've also shown signs of other disorders from many quizzes (i would get a professional diagnosis if i could), such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, borderline personality disorder, adhd, and more.

tldr; i've had experiences at the age where i was supposed to develop that many would consider to be "traumatic". i am wondering if me having multiple personalities (which i can choose to act as, but can not actively switch out of if it happens on its own, and usually only has changes in typing/ minor changes in personality) may be a sign of dissociative identity disorder.

[hypergamiss]

hello queen, I have a pathetic question about dating: how to not feel jealous at those who seem like they’ve found “the one” already? Ik all that stuff about everyone being on their own journey and stuff, but it does hurt sometimes. I’ve never even dated so seeing everyone find their one is heartbreaking sometimes. Ik there’s the bad parts of dating such as my friend saying her guy is the one and love of her life (they recently bought a house together) but also that he plays video games often and she feels bored and lonely at times. Sometimes tho I just want that relationship for the dumb sake of saying I have a boyfriend, or that attention. How the hell do you get over it and be content with yourself? It genuinely feels like no one is single around me /: maybe I’d feel differently if I had some single friends to relate to? Idk I just feel jealous all the time, and it isn’t good for me or my future. I should be focusing on creating the best version of myself but this insecurity is holding me back. It feels like a what do these girls have that I don’t? My friend told me a lot of ppl just settle and that’s why they’re in relationships but it didn’t make me feel better. I just want to find my “one” perfect ambition, hard working guy already. Sorry for venting, I love your account and advice.

Listen, social media is a dating reality show edited to make you feel like a loser. All you get are the bouquets and champagne dates, never the screaming match about dirty dishes. But lemme tell you, relationships are WORK. Even those picture-perfect couples have their "Why did I do this?" moments and silent car rides filled with unspoken resentment. That's just reality, even if it doesn't fit on an Instagram caption.

Being single can be tough, but let's not pretend relationships are a magic fix. It's about trading one set of problems for another, usually spicier ones. Don't get me wrong, the right person is worth it, but life isn't a fairytale. Notice how those couples with the constant PDA often go silent when things get messy?

Here's where self-discovery comes in. Sometimes those relationship cravings are masking something else – a need for excitement, validation, whatever. Figuring that out is way more productive than doom-scrolling relationship goals.

You think having a partner is this automatic happiness upgrade, but I've been on the other side, in a relationship feeling lonelier than ever. Trust me, it's a mind-blowing kind of awful, followed by a new level of depression. That's the thing nobody talks about.

So, I rock my single status because guess what? I've got standards. Settling for mediocrity just to avoid being alone? Nope. I'd rather invest my energy elsewhere. Because contrary to all that rom-com nonsense, you can't outsource your happiness to another person. You gotta build that for yourself.

A healthy relationship is two happy people adding to each other's lives, not draining each other dry with emotional baggage. That's why I'm perfectly content rolling solo until the right one comes along. Do you want dependence and drama? There are plenty of trashy reality shows for that.

Yeah, it's different from the usual "find your soulmate" BS, but it's REAL. You want fulfillment? Build that life for yourself first. The rest either falls into place, or you realize you're happier without another person's dirty socks in the mix.

[rachelcommitscrimes]

im gonna rant abt how much i hate the ghost eyes fandom (as a former fan) bc im just kinda mad rn

so uhh yeah major TW for s3lf h4rm, romanticizing mental illness, su1c1de, sadomasochism, infantilization, and rlly just anything related to that

(also sorry if this looks weird idk how to separate stuff on tumblr)

also DO NOT harass the creator or anyone mentioned here, you’re no better than them if you do that

——————————————————————————

ok so i read ghost eyes like 2 years ago but i stopped reading about the point where they were on that field trip. i still think it’s a nice comic and i’m sure the author is a cool person, also the art style is awesome. but the fandom is so fucking gross that i’m surprised more people haven’t talked about it. 

for some backstory on this, i used have REALLY bad depression and was cutting myself regularly (i’m much better now, i have medication, therapy, and i’m almost a year clean) i also stopped reading due to the comic severely damaging my mental health and i’m very glad i did. i was younger and immature and thought i could handle such content. this led to me becoming extremely obsessed with the comic to an unhealthy level, and getting severely attached to one of the characters (rudy) because i could relate to him at that time. i seriously thought that i WAS him sometimes.

i understand now that i should NOT have ignored the label and what i did was definitely wrong and if the creator is reading this i deeply apologize. i’m in a much better place now and i’m just glad that i was able to get the help i needed.

ok now to the angry part

if you don’t know what ghost eyes is, it’s a webcomic about a severely traumatized boy attending school for the first time and meeting a bunch of other severely traumatized kids. this comic has a crap ton of triggering/sensitive/disturbing topics (which is not a bad thing as long as you do it right) and like i said before, the creator has kindly put a warning before the comic starts stating that you SHOULD NOT romanticize/idolize/sexualize/kin any of the characters, do not read unless you can handle such topics, and so forth. now i know i should have definitely put the comic down before and not gotten obsessed over it, but i knew damn well enough that it was messed up to romanticize/sexualize any of the characters/things that happened in the book.

there are several scenes in which a character is self harming or harming someone else, and the comments will say shit like “nooo my poor bean” “awww baby don’t do that” or my personal favorite “protect the smol bean.” first of all, the characters are like 16-17, second of all, i cannot even tell you how fucked up it is that people see someone ruining their lives and putting themselves in danger and think it’s “cute” or “anxiety smol bean uwu” THERES LITERALLY A SCENE WHERE SOMEONE IS GETTING STABBED AND PPL ARE DRAWING THIS MF IN A MAID DRESS.

another reason i despise these fans is that they see an abusive relationship and start making ships/kinning them. as someone who has gone through pretty much everything rudy has gone through, i cant tell you how irritating it is to see people shipping him with his abuser or calling him a “cutie patootie masochist boi uwu” cause lemme tell you what-it doesnt feel good to have to put your health in danger and ruin your relationships with others just so you can get off somehow. ITS NOT FUN. the whole point of rudy’s character is to not romanticize someones fucked up mental health.

i could spend hours talking about this group of immature brats, but i’m tired and it’s a school night and i have a test tomorrow. i might add on if i feel like i need to but overall i really hope those immature fans grow up and realize their mistakes like i did, or get the help they need.

[boydepartment]

ive noticed you tend to apologise a lot when youre tired and taking a break 😅 you shouldnt do that. youre a human, of course you'd feel tired sometimes. hope youre taking enough rest and recovering soon, no pressure to take and accept requests.

im sorry your interview went weird, but its good you pulled back the moment you found it sketchy. hopefully youd get a chance to accomplish your dream sometime soon in the future! take care jayjay

-🎄

hi it’s okay 🎄 anon :) i’m gonna use your ask to talk abt something if that’s okay, this isn’t @ you, i pinky promise.

i’m gonna be honest after valentine’s day i might just leave this account ? i don’t think ill delete anything but i just can’t be on tumblr or read any of the content i used to. i talked about it a bit a couple days ago i just want to elaborate more.

it makes me really just idk :/ i don’t like the community at all anymore and it’s been declining my mental for a bit. i love enha and all my people in the different groups i like, but i really really hate how some ppl write them and it just freaks me out REALLY bad. ESPECIALLY RIKI. like fuck some of you guys are so weird bruh…. and shameless. like you have no respect and don’t even on the “it’s not that serious.” you’re fucking weird. period. there’s no reason to make some of the shit you guys say public at all.

it’s been talked abt more recently how dubcon and dark fics are more common now and i can’t keep scrolling past it and seeing it. it freaks me out that people will write about actual people like that especially someone who lived at the receiving end of abuse like that. why would you want someone you love to be put in the situation of the abuser? like it doesn’t click to me and sometimes even scrolling past and seeing the tags and send me into a bad episode so i just can’t anymore. i don’t know how people think that’s okay to push their coping mechanism that’s darker and extremely damaging on an actual HUMAN BEING. coping mechanism or not that’s fucking weird. they may be idols but they are human beings too.

i’ve also had a few asks in my anon that are just straight up rude, demanding, or calling me weird for liking riki at all? like you are attacking the wrong girl i have nothing but respect for him. those anons are just stressing me out aswell and it’s just too much. i’m exhausted constantly being disrespected. tumblr is supposed to be a platform where i can get away and get lost in lighthearted stories and it’s not that for me anymore.

i might come back after i leave on valentine’s day but i need time to actually enjoy kpop like i used to. the fans are ruining it for me and it’s just been making me really depressed. i can’t even go on tiktok sometimes because of the fan bases. i’ve always been very open with you guys and like, i need to pull back from these fan bases and take care of myself. i barely eat, sleep, or enjoy anything anymore(that’s due to offline stuff but being on tumblr doesn’t help any of that at all). i miss having fun and the communities are ruining it.

[honeycreammilkshake]

hi hi!

oooh I'm having a carrusel of feelings these days with the end of the manga, I joined just a month ago to jjk universe (thanks to my sister) ang got inmendiately attached to SukuIta (these two are precious).

After the last chap I can say I'm satisfied cause I'm big supporter of meta cooking for fans and fanfic to full all the holes in the cannon plot. Maybe showing some stories from the terrible Heian era but I guess the autor has plans to make some prequel...

About the mess of the fandom in general:

I guess big part of the problem with some ppl is that they actually get too attached to a secondary character, no matter how op is the character it still secondary (and probably dye terriblely in cannon).

They need to move on, I feel like these fans are the new wave of Itachi/Jiraiya guys.

Btw, I think that the way some socmed are full of reactions and new ppl in fandoms don't help to mantain certain old etiquette and sane distance from the author so I understand a bit why the things looks so messy with the fandom in the last months.

The good thing is that the big majorie will leave after the ending and the decrescend of the hype gonna bring a better space for the artist and the fans who likes meta analysis.

(sorry for the typos eng isn't my first language)

hi, anon. don't worry about the typos at all, i totally understand you and english is overrated.

so glad you joined the cult of sukuita so quickly. sadly though, it doesn't seem very active anymore on here compared to other ships in jjk, and i'm deeply wishing we get a lot more content on this site sometime soon (maybe the new anime seasons will bring more people to our cause?). i'm starting to get a bit embarrassed that i keep making sukuita posts like 3 times every day and i worry i'm yapping away too much on here, but as they say... if you're not finding what you want to find, make it yourself.

to reply to your observations on the fandom, i have to agree. so many new antis, toxic fans, and people intolerant of others' opinions have completely taken it over. it used to be fun to watch people argue about how much they like the characters or tease each other about their ships back when fandoms were much more accepting, but now it's just way too many moral debates with unstable ground to stand on. and yeah... the overwhelming amount of hate sukuna fans and sukuita shippers sometimes get is depressing.

i'm hoping that if you continue to like jjk and sukuita, you'll stay around until times get better here. it's lovely to hear from all the people who like these two cursed freaks, and i'm glad you shared your thoughts with me. hope you've been doing well <3

[crystalwitch222]

~Life Update~

First of all I want to say thank you to everyone that follows my ADHD Soul blog and thank you to everyone that follows my gaming content content I appreciate all the support ❤️

Here’s an update on life..animal job didn’t work out it didn’t help the depressive slump I’ve been in. The way they trained wasn’t great and it’s the fact that there was no actual manager just a bunch of young ppl working there. For learning some things my type of brain half ass training doesn’t work for me I need hands on learning or might need a little extra to learn something but once I learn whatever sometimes I exceed expectations and try to be perfectionist. So losing job was a real let down for me. I sometimes wonder if I should’ve mentioned the ADHD thing but would it really hurt or help me and sometimes I wonder if I should get a letter or something from my doctor that could protect me from being let go or certain treatment at work. So that job ended in March/February. It wasn’t till December I decided to give another job a chance I actually was hired on the spot it was another shoe store I was so excited but everything wasn’t as it seemed I was supposed to be hired as full time and then apparently it turned it I wasn’t. They are weird about taking breaks sometimes like most places I’ve worked you are required to take a 30 min lunch and a 10/ 15 min small break if you work 5 or more hours even working just 4 gets you 10/15 mins. If it’s really busy some managers prefer you to eat while working. Like no sorry sometimes ppl need to sit down like we ac right now either. This company the way things are ran is more competitive and just different from the last shoe store I worked at We got a new store manager just seems colder more old school. It just makes me miss my old shoe store even more…

My old shoe store job had closed during covid. We all never officially everyone never said goodbye to each other and It was at a new location I had been at for about 6 months and didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to/ dealing with mean girl type of drama & as still processing the fact that I lost my original store I started out at I originally didn’t want to relocate and stop being the assistant manager. We lost another store manager ( losing the first one was real hard for me too ) so they thought it was best to move me to a more heavy volume store to be a sales lead manager. I felt like my time was cut short as an ASM and I felt like I wasn’t always taken seriously and their communication sucked at the end and tbh when I look back on it I was younger I could’ve used a little more training with some things but still their communication could’ve been better talking goes both ways. I’ll talk more about it another time.

After the shoe store company closed my little fun nameless part time job became my main job.. I fought through bs to became a supervisor at a new high volume location I knew store manager for a long time worked with him at multiple locations I even once called him my friend. Working there turned into a nightmare toxic work environment bc the assistant manager has it out for me but tbh she ends up having a problem with everyone there was always something wrong.. Then there was other stuff but more of that later.. yes I told my store manager after holidays that I wanted to be done but I was upset I thought he was my friend is that no reason to ever call or text an employee when they took a leave of absence when they get sick with covid ? No one ever reached out to me to see how I was doing so I thought they didn’t want me to come back so I never went back and a few months later my store manager who I thought was my friend blocked me on Snapchat. I’m still trying to live with my decision that I never reached out and still debating if I ever will… I wonder if I was put as fired and not rehire able.. i was great at my job I really loved the job itself just not the location in the end.. then sometimes I do miss my friend… who was my store manager..this was the first ever place to really inspire to be a manager run a place have a business this was the first place I wanted to be a manager at. For months I thought about texting him but I couldn’t do it I don’t know why or how I became this way but it got to a point at work where I stopped texting my manager every time there was a problem it just got tiring.

So it’s been a rocky road with work places every job has its negatives and not every job will have bad management. So all that is kinda what lead to my slump along with at the beginning of it all I had a condition that acting up again but I deal with it the best I can with diet and supplements. It’s called IC/PBS ( interstitial Cystitis / painful bladder syndrome ) on top that I think have OAB 😭

So here am I figuring out what to do next no health insurance might be diabetic

Right after leaving nameless job I got back into gaming started giving streaming a try and start making gaming content I’m still doing it but it can only distract me so much now and bring me so happiness but I’ll keep doing it bc I know there are ppl that enjoy my content and if it brings somebody some sort of joy that that makes me happy too. Who knows maybe one of my videos will blow up someday one of them once got 50k views. At one point I was streaming everyday I’ll possibly get back to that we”ll see. Also trying to get back into writing and blogging more check out my ADHD Soul blogs on Tumblr and Reddit . Also enjoy photography and started wire wrapping crystals thinking about possibly selling some. Check out my Instagram to see @crystalwitch_22 We”ll see. Thanks for reading.

Follow me if you want on

Twitch/Kick/TikTok/Pinterest: CrystalWitch_22

YouTube: CrystalWitch_22 TV

[kaleidosouls]

hi. (pulls out uke)

IM JOKING but i havent posted here in forever huh, are ppl still around? i guess ill comment on like, whats been going in in the time i havent posted

so a long time ago now i wanted to like, cut off from twitter, so i deleted the kaleidosouls twitter, and wanted to keep my art stuff just on insta mostly, trying to move since twitter is a sinking ship right. then my instagram got deleted for no reason (and so did my pinterest that was ful of refs and honestly that was more upseting than insta getting deletedand losing all my art following)

ive been mildly caught up in IRL/college stuff in the meantime,having da depression, and the exec dysfunction same as awlays like. not much has actually been happening but ive been going acutally all over the place trying to figure out what im gonna do with my internet social media stuff. im looking into internships (other field) and im like, i havent given up being an artist professionally exactly but i think im like fuck it. fuck this like, building my Internet career or whatever. like, im gona wokr on my art portfolio and try to find art job stuf thats not really about how popular my art is on twitter or smth. none of that shit rly matters anymoer. same w here, i probably wouldve delted this tumblr if it wasnt the main like, blog so all my other blogs dpened on this one right.

im not like, done posting art online but ive been changing how im going about it and i still havent found my like, place yet. i did remake instagram, a main one and one for creature/pokemon stuff. idk im figuring out my life but i guess the main point is that its all a mess, and its not a disaster like things are going bad or anythin just that ive been in this inertia of disorder for a long time. im getting old. really tired lately, barely draw that much

i still rly love and am holding onto my personal ideas/projects that i want to execute oveer time altho they cant be a priority rn becuase of stuff in life. i got a really bad attention span so ill probably like, work on smth a lot for a few ays and then pick it up again in a year or more. the SU stuff is one of those. i actually ammaking this post bc i got really fucking dickhead comments and i was thinking of going off but my social media paranoia PR brain is like weighting on how i cant do that bc itll make my brand look bad and immature, and its like exhausting to live like that yk. altho it Is wise to restrain myself from being mean dsgkj but i also think itd be funny to cuss ppl off so :( life is very hard as an adult!

anyway point is. thigns are a mess rn and they will continue to be for the time being. my accoutns got obliterated so if you wanna keep up with me maybe follow my instagram if you want, i keep forgetting tumblr exists so tahst why i post so little on here. i do like postingt here though, nad i like making little blogs. i like ppls tags on ym art and replies. even the pricky ones like, i get to engage my brain a litlte bit adn its like ppl are out there yk? seieng my stuff, rather than just like, a bunch of numbers of how many likes or reblogs smth has.

most of the stuff left on this blog is for SU reclaimed and i still rly like the idea and its good coping for me and i want to pick it up sometimes but idk what to do with it wrt how i wanna present the content. ive considerd many times making a separate tumblr for it and i am considering that Again but maybe i should just quit it and post it here and forget about that. and find a different way to present the totality of the contents of the AU and use this tumblr as a way to just post it like, a 'devblog' (i am not developing SHIT this is just conceptual design writing stuff)

if theres anyone still following thats like engaged/interested in SU reclaimed feel free to comment with your thoughts or suggestions,i guess i could make an instagram for it? but ehh... idt thats how i wanna like, execute it. welp. i guess if i do make smth ill post about it here,i guess the point is that maybe i can try to post on here moreoften, idk, like i want my instagrams to be more tidy and like, impersonal. i deleted twitter bc i dont want to engage that personalyl at ALL anymore as an artist w viewers. not to mention it sinking. but i guess tumblr Is the perfect place to keep that unprofessional, slightly casual blogging artist experience. maybe if i get to cuss ppl out :D but then i dont wanna get harassed later over it. hm.. sucks to exist online tbh

thank u if youve read this far. if youre a mutual (somehow) or a long time follower and wanna know how to better keep up w me since i know im disappearing a lot feel free to dm

[glittertrail]

sandra!!! hi, how are ya? i hope you’re having a great day today <3<3 ready for some questions? if you remember, when did you join drag race tumblr? why did you join, how did you discover the drag race fic community? do you use a sideblog, or is this your main blog? do you use tumblr for anything else?

Aha this is when i put myself in evidence as a Tumblr dinosaur lmao i joined around 2016/17 little after AS2. I joined bc i was monstrously depressed if I'm honest, a lot of very important stressful stuff was happening and my support group was falling to pieces because we were all going through the same important adulty decisions, so i watched all 8 seasons plus AS in like. A week. (Again: monstrously depressed)

I discovered the fic community as a bit of a curiosity basically bc it was just @artificialqueens (way before v was in command i believe) lol there was not much else, and i wasn't very impressed by it, i don't like real life ppl fic as a general rule but i did like ppl in the fandom that did like it even if I didn't care for most of it, and I'm still very picky with what I read, my logic is that it's fic on the stage personas of the contestants on the show and not the contestants themselves, that is what makes it less 😬 for me, ofc there's a slippery slope in certain cases but well that's another issue)

I use a sideblog and there's a third blog for fics lmao although it's very much on hiatus bc real life takes precedent right now (also you might get a url if you ask for it it's not a secret secret but I'm very content about it being kind of a private thing, even inactive as it is)

I use tumblr mostly as a stress relief and to do something with my fingers when I'm fidgety tbh, and sometimes to read/write, mostly i just rb funny or pretty stuff and talk with friends. Lately it's mostly just keeping up with friends.

[pupptdrop]

Intro/welcome to my blog thingy

I change fixations LOTS!

Current fixation→ Sonic, and TSBS

Content Warnings:

†Body Horror/horror

†Gore

†eye straining

†sensitive subjects?

†crazy things idk

«⟨Rivers into⟩»

†Name: River

★ Demi-boy, aroace, Cupiosexusl, trans masc

★ Age 15

★ birthday April the 24th

★ Pronouns: they/him/it

★ ADHD/ADD, autism emotional numbness, Dyslexic

★ Puppy therian

★in many fandoms Sun and moon show, Mlp, SCP, creepypasta that's only some

★I like reading Greek mythology looking into fictional and non-fictional diseases being both mental and physical

★ Be respectful and keep in mind that I might take things too seriously so please use tone tags with me sometimes you don't but if it's not necessary then you don't have to add them.

Some fun facts

★ I have a favorite plushie name Cookie dough

★ I have a puppy his name is Loki

★ I love heavy metal but I'm mostly listen to sad songs

★ I don't really care if you call me female like pronouns like Queen, girlfriend ect but please restrain form using she/her

★I might not talk/post a lot I'm currently going through a lot, mostly depression but I hope I get to make some new friends and everything

★Also I am autistic so if i ever respond dull or not respond at all its not to be rude i promise, i just shut down sometimes, or just completely act emotionless- and get mad at the little things I realized that I've been doing it, and I don't want you to think like it's your fault or anything!!!

★Respect my boundaries: like no sexual stuff ect./joke about it if you want to vent tell me before you start like trigger warning ECT. About happens first, and no threatening the k¡ll ourselves if I don't text you back and just be careful and respectful, don't make fun people ik and that's it

★i attend to call ppl dear, love and etc tell me if that makes you uncomfortable I'll stop

[trickedmask]

| ᶤᶰᵈᵉᵖᵉᶰᵈᵉᶰᵗ ʳᵖ ᵇˡᵒᵍ ᵒᶠ ᵃᵏᶤʳᵃ/ʲᵒᵏᵉʳ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵖ₅ ˢᵉʳᶤᵉˢ |

'Please don't take off my mask... revealing dark.' -- This is an independent, and semi selective blog for Joker. I take a lot of inspiration from the game but have crafted my own backstory to Joker that heavily ties into the reasoning of his character traits.

Navigation: | about. | verses. | other blogs. |

↓ Guidelines ↓ 

My portrayal of Joker is based on my headcanons with insp from their original content.

My activity mostly depends on my health conditions(GERD & IBS) and the fact I am dealing with job hunting. This will be the main reasons if I am every slow/ever go a bit MIA. But if I ever go on break I will make a post about it.

I am a semi-selective blog and mutuals only! I am OC friendly.

I do have a discord! You may ask for it if we are mutuals and if you want to plot and what not and of course just chat ooc.

TRIGGERS, PLEASE TAG - TW: GORE, TW: SPIDERS, TW: BUTTERFLY, TW: ZOMBIES !!

About mun: Jupiter. Pronouns: she/her. Timezone: EST!

↓ Rest of rules in full detail BELOW ↓ 

✶ FIRST AND FOREMOSTS ✶

I. This is a mutuals blog only, please respect that.

II. I  deal with something called GERD, which is Gastroesophageal reflux disease, and IBS, which is Irritable bowel syndrome. It is a big reason, along with anxiety/depression that sometimes makes it hard for me to focus a lot and if I suddenly have low activity that is a big reason why. I'll do my best to not complain about it a lot ooc cause I do not wish to bother ppl with it, but it's just a heads up.

III. Please note that the mun is going through the job hunt process so sometimes I may be active for a while but then I may disappear for a bit, causing me to take some time with replies. Please understand♥

✶ IMPORTANT NOTES ✶

IV. Please, no godmodding my characters! Thank you ♥

V. I have a discord! If we are mutuals feel free to ask for it to plot and whatnot!

VI. SEMI-SELECTIVE BLOG. If I do not rp/follow with you, please do not take offence. Sometimes I may not because I don't see a way for our muses interacting/I may not know character too well sorry :x 

VII. I am open to AU’s and rping with OC’s! If you are an OC though, it would be nice if you would have an about page. Just so I can get the feeling of your character. Or, just make sure to tell me about your character if you wish to RP with me c:

VIII. When it comes to rping with characters from the same fandom, I roleplay the way I believe they would act with this person based on my idea of their relationship. This does not mean I am forcing you to automatically like/act the same way toward them. It’s just the way I believe they would act towards him/her.

✶ TAGGING & WRITING ✶

IX. I am open to any type of threads except extreme gore. Action is fine, and talk of blood is as well but if it goes into great detail I can not handle it. I am very sensitive about it, sorry.

X. If you ever reply to one of my asks, I prefer it if you put it in a separate post c:

XI. Please!!! tag these things if you post them because I am very sensitive: TW: GORE, TW: SPIDERS, TW: BUTTERFLY,  TW: ZOMBIES

XII. While rping Joker, I have my own headcannons about him.. You do not have to agree with them but please respect them. I also wanna give a shoutout to my one friend who has helped me develop so many of my headcanons. She a real one♥

✶ SHIPPING ✶

XIII. I am open to having relationships built with my muse but please do not force it on me. I’m not trying to be mean, and it does not mean I do not like you. I just believe that our characters need to get to know each-other and develop their relationship. Again, don’t take offence if my muse does not get along with yours.

✶ OTHER ✶

XIV. If you are curious and may think you know me hah, here are my other blogs I used to rp my muses on: Noctis, Yuri, Alm, Aladdin, Cloud, and others but.. So long ago lol.

XV. I will not interact with muses from the following fandoms: fruit basket, anything fully associated with FULL ON horror.. If you are a multi muse and happen to have characters from these fandoms that’s fine, as long as you have others I can interact with.

✶ NSFW ✶

XVI. Mun is of age. But Joker is not, though there may be some implications of nsfw due to Joker’s nature, no nsfw threads will occur. Perhaps in some timeskip verse? But I am unsure. I will not do nsfw with minors. PLEASE do not lie about your age.

XVII. There will be dark themes on this blog due to Joker’s  story and past.

XVIII. I always tag topics like, suicide, abuse, self hate, depression, blood. The way I tag triggers is tw: word. Or word // If you want me to add any/if I forget to tag something, LET ME KNOW♥

XIX. What will NOT be present on this blog ever is, rape, incest, pedophillia, racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism. (I’m running blank but these seem like the obvious, will add to it if I think of any.)