#it is related to my current bigger writing project the post s5 viravos fic

[luniviravosshipper]

Aaravos simply stood there for a couple minutes, waiting for the sounds of Terrestrius’s pattering feet to deafen. He shuffled his own feet slightly before gently squatting down and sitting. It was awkward to find the right position at first with this frail form, but he managed. He set the bag to the side of him while continuing to grip it tightly. 

He would have to wait here for a bit, or so he assumed. He can’t predict the exact trajectory of events following this moment, but he can gauge at a time frame for what could occur.

He tried to allow his mind to wander as a means to pass the time. He’s usually very good at passing time just by thinking. Well, he usually doesn’t even feel the passage of time at all. This time, however, his thoughts weren’t coming in. His mind was blank. The silence surrounding him was growing a little too noisy.

He glanced at the bag. He sighed at the reminder.

He didn’t take pleasure in Terrestrius’s pain, truly. It was necessary, he told himself. If he took comfort in anything, it was in the simple necessity of it. Though, he did find his loyalty to himself and who he is admirable. Even as a fault of his that had to be ridden of sooner or later, Aaravos couldn’t help but to feel just a tad envious. If only he could have latched on for that long…

He recalled when he too was Pure of Heart. When Leola was his guiding light in the world, his one truth. Her light outshined any darkness that creeped in the corners of his life and mind. That was, at that time. 

So, no. He didn’t take comfort in his pain.

But… what of this bird?

He placed the bag on top of his lap, considering for a moment if he should peek inside. 

It wasn’t like when he was trapped. When he was trapped in the pearl, there was the looking glass others could peer through to gaze upon him. He felt a small shiver down his back and the subtle rush of heat to his cheeks picturing the times Avizandum could have been invading his privacy while he was forced to remain oblivious. He couldn’t see from the outside what the bird looked like. He only knew it was there. Probably its body lame and limp. And very, very dead.

At least Aaravos was never fully deprived of his freedom. He was given all the time in the world to plan his escape and what would follow after. He always knew he’d get out. He was too determined to not get out. But the bird wouldn’t be freed. She wouldn’t be able to escape the In-Between. Unlike him.

He finally opened the bag and stared down at the bird. She wasn’t resting. He knew where her whereabouts were—he put her there. She’s stuck. In distress. Unable to get back to her children. 

He didn’t feel a tinge of pity or empathy towards her. Seeing her like this only made him grow grateful at the prospect that he wouldn’t turn out like her. And luckily, he’s already slipped past the previous opportunity he could have. So many new possibilities have been presented before him to set things right. He may never grow satisfied, but at least he’s able to work towards his goal. He is not completely incapacitated. There is so much to do and so much he has already done.

Jittering with excitement anticipating what could be, he began to cinch the bag back up. He prepared himself to get up again.

And, now… I have Claudia. 

He paused for a moment in his movements, tensing his shoulders. The thought startled him at first. As if he thought it by accident.

He heard a sudden squawk.

He almost jumped. He quickly motioned to look back inside the bag which was then immediately followed by an agitated groan at his own stupidity. He hated to think he was actually thankful that Terrestrius wasn’t here to witness his embarrassment. He looked around to see where this other sound was coming from. Maybe it’s the father? 

Suddenly, he turned his head to capture the sight of a green and black moving object in the corner of his eye. Another bird!

His eyes widened. This one wasn’t even of the same species. But he recognized it. It was a Xadian Songbird. A rather common bird across Xadia. 

He looked it over. Something about this particular bird felt… familiar to him. As if he’s seen it once before. 

It is odd to see it in Katolis’s bounds…

Ah, that’s it. It must have been during the first fight he armed Viren in against the guards. He remembers that it flew out the window. 

He wondered if that was Viren’s pet. But Viren never seemed to give it much mind after it flew away, and neither did anyone else. So possibly not.

He slowly got up. He tried to keep quiet as he neared the bird. It was perched on a tree branch. Age was apparent in the bird’s eyes, his warned feathers. He looked dirty and almost exhausted. It didn’t seem to be in a very chirpy mood. 

He looked back behind him at the bag. He began questioning whether this bird was a parent too. He must be considering its age.

He imagined further. Maybe he had babies. But they’re all grown up now. Maybe they were taken away from him. He was in captivity. But maybe that means he never had any to begin with. Maybe he was born into captivity.

He started to daydream about the life of this random bird. Surely, that must pass the time if he has no other useful way of spending it.

He laid the side of his head against the tree, looking up at the bird. It looked back down at him. 

It’d be nice to be a bird. Free. But, not like the other bird. Like this bird! It must be nice for this bird to be free after being in captivity for who knows how long. Or maybe it’s unnatural for him. Maybe he’s so used to captivity, of being fed and pet, that he doesn’t know how to fend for himself in the wild. Maybe he’s less free now then when he was then. 

Aaravos remembered the two worms the mother bird was carrying earlier. Not wanting to disturb it, he slowly walked away. He started searching for them on the ground.

Was he loney? He pondered the likelihood of him being raised with any other animal companions in the castle. It certainly wasn’t all that likely he’d come across a bird like himself outside of Xadia.

“Aha!” He carefully knelt down and grabbed the two worms. One was a little squished but the other was still squirming. He returned back to the Songbird, skipping towards it dopily. He lifted his hand up, eagerly offering the worms to him.

It didn’t nudge. It didn’t even give a minor indication of being hungry. Aaravos’s expression soured. He tossed the worms back onto the ground when he eventually came to terms with the fact it wasn’t going to accept them.

It must have been lonely, he thought to himself. Because why else would no soul care for the bird when it left? And it was a castle pet. No wonder it seems so hard of heart now.

He glared down at the one wriggling worm. He stepped on it and lazily smeared it across the ground with his bare foot.

Was Viren using it for a spell? Maybe that was it. 

Aaravos threw his head back. Alas, he started to accept defeat. He wasn’t going to get to the bottom of it and, quite honestly, it was never the mystery of the bird he was trying to get to the bottom of. He decided he would stop speculating now. It was just a bird, anyway. Nothing that important about it.

He moved over back to the bag and sat down. He’s grown tired of thinking about so many birds in a row. What was he thinking about earlier? Oh, yes. It was… Claudia.

Admittedly, he’d rather think about something else. But it was too late to change his mind. His mind was already swarming with thoughts about her and Leola again. 

He gripped the bag tighter. He looked from the bag to the Songbird perched on the tree branch. He should be getting ready to go, in case Terrestrius chooses to come back looking for the baby birds soon.

The Songbird came to him shortly after he killed this bird. Maybe it’s angry at me.

Claudia wasn’t like Leola. But she’s still his daughter too. She was his new guiding light. His one light in the world now.

Their mission to the Moon Nexus won’t bring Leola back, but… 

He got up. He denied this mother bird her one deep truth, her children. And she’ll never be able to combat that loss. But he can. He might not be a bird, but he is free. He has potential for new beginnings with Claudia. His other one deep truth. 

He saw the Songbird soar away. He knows he shouldn’t speculate anymore, it doesn’t serve him any real good. But, maybe that songbird is like him and like this mother bird, too. Maybe his one deep truth is his children, if he has any.

Not that the backstory of this random creature holds any personal significance to him. Aaravos just felt drawn to the bird, for whatever reason. But, what are the chances that he could have felt a deeper connection to it beneath the surface, one that he did not initially grasp onto?

After all, we are, all of us, made of stardust. Held together by love… For an instant.

Pip + Aaravos

The Star Within You