#it is pretty funny when a dude thinks he is clever and I am just like nah /S you're a scholar and a gentleman

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

Me: how is your penny form inspector gadget?

you: I got Dr Claw's' book here.

Me: yes, you do.

That would explain the technology.

When keeping it simple just got real.

(also ringworm is a pain in the ass if you're a wrestler)

[thattimdrakeguy]

I HAVE BEEN READING ZDARSKY BATMAN, AND I HAVE DECLARED: I FREAKING LOVE IT!!

I'm reading the Batman Zdarsky run in reverse. That way if I see any bull I can back out at anytime: and to be honest--besides a few things. I really enjoy it

LIKE YO, THAT IS JUST STRAIGHT UP TIM DRAKE RIGHT THERE. It knows who he is as a character. his motives, it's great.

Screw the people complaining "oh why is tim still robin :((", THIS IS WHY HE IS STILL ROBIN. Because this is when he's at his BEST. When he gets to hit his character purpose, WHEN HE GETS TO BE HIM AT HIS MOST HIM. It's FANTASTIC.

Reading in reverse because I know I hated the first story, it was so contrived and ridiculous.

But this--this is some good shit.

Tim being an underdog fighter, having to use his wits to win the fight? MY DAWG, MY DUDE, MY GUYS, MY GALS, MY THEMS, MY THEYS, THIS IS SO TIMMY DRAKE. This is so damn Tim Drake, guys. Oh, my gosh, I am loving this so far.

Dick has his temper back? And trust me, he isn't normally like this. But he's hitting a limit AND IT'S SOMETHING NEW, NOT JUST A REFERENCE. HE'S ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING HE'D DO, 'CAUSE HE'S AT HIS LIMIT. That's wonderful, man. That is so wonderful.

Plus Tim is the heart of the Bat-Family again? This feels like someone actually went back to read these characters before writing it. I'm not saying everything is perfect of course, but these high marks are exceeding all my expectations. And I STOPPED reading comics because of how the beginning of this run destroyed any hope I had.

You guys have no idea how much I'm enjoying the few issues I've read. Besides the cussing (I remember after a bit they decided Tim was someone who used funny words instead of proper cusses), this feels like the Tim I know and love during the era I especially loved him.

Tim comparing himself to his predecessors? Tim not being a natural? A WRITER REMEMBERING THAT?? It's been so long since I've seen that! Most writers treat him like he was another prodigy when he wasn't. AND THIS GUY REMEMBERED THAT!

I shouldn't be so happy at just seeing Tim do Tim things, and serving his character purpose. BUT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE A WRITER KNEW WHAT TIM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE.

Only complaints I have is that Jason feels like a typical Bat-Family member, and not the sketchy outsider that he is. Making him so close makes his character more bland in my opinion. And Steph is--also generic af unless she's wacky quirky...which is a characterization I hate for her, because she started off so damn interesting, but they made her a freaking trope instead, which is such a disservice to her, but she barely does anything so far, so whatever I guess. Doesn't mean much.

--

This is the first honest thing I've seen that I hated.

No

Not this

This isn't the Bat-Family

This is a sitcom world the fandom wants to be the Bat-Family and some comply with

They're not a sitcom. The conflicts, and uniqueness of the characters is what makes things feel alive and well.

This stuff is cheap fanservice for the fanon demographic that doesn't buy comics to begin with.

Fanon doesn't belong in canon.

--

I mean sure Tim could be drawn smaller, the gag of him looking 12 when he's nearly 18 doesn't work when he's bigger than Damian who is 15 (and contrary to some bullshit comics isn't meant to be small. that was a random thing added for writers who aren't clever to write better humor. it actually contradicts things that were already established).

Don't see the big deal though for most of this.

Can't wait to find it, though. Oh boy.

This whole obsession with Zur Batman, is way over done though. So--I wouldn't be shocked if that was the problem, because my golly does that plot point not seem to be stopping--and it was there from the start and part of the reason why I didn't read it 'til now.

Good Tim tho, at least. So heehee, yey for that--I think--I guess.

Oh, well.

It let me peak at a pseudo-version of an AU I made up years ago. So that's pretty freaking cool.

Always a plus.

And redoing Red Robin story beats but better? Normally I'd hate references to Red Robin, 'cause that changed the perception of so many characters for the worst, but ayy, a bit of redemption isn't bad.

Man, just seeing simple stuff like Tim and Bruce being good ol' classic Batman and Robin warms my heart. It's been so long since Batman and Robin has acted like a proper classic Batman and Robin. It's dynamic that's been sorely missed by many.

OH, MY GOSH, WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO STINK SO BAD. THIS STUFF IS GREAT.

Like, DUDE, this is such a Tim thing for him to do!!

And he's showing emotion?? He's crying like how he does?? Because he's not a typical Bat-Family member who just angsts his way through?? THEY'RE MAKING HIM STAND-OUT AGAIN BY MAKING HIM, HIM??

WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO SUCK SO BAD?? THIS IS GOOD SHIT.

Like this part is why I originally stopped reading, not because Bruce should think Tim is his soldier, and not his son, THE FREAKING OPPOSITE.

But because the original story has Bruce acting weird when unneeded, just to say this was so unneeded, and adding in all these stupid corny Bat-Family moments was so groan worthy.

This run started off with a story that was a total turn off for me.

To end up being a run that could've kept me enjoying DC, rather than running away from it from as far as I have.

Chip Zdarsky started off awful, but really, he ended up great.

And I've seen people complain about his run, and TRUST ME, there's stuff to complain about. But I have only ever seen the stuff worth complaining about, or stuff I WOULD complain about.

WHEN MOST OF THE RUN IS GOOD

At least when Tim is around.

Go figure.

Maybe I should've paid sole attention to how he wrote Tim and nothing else at the very least for that first story.

'Cause even in the first story, Tim was well-written--it's how cheap the rest of the story telling was in that first story that turned me off--and the weird knew about the movie plans that I am still fully judging harshly. (Love the new Superman film suit, though)

[frango-maconheiro]

wow, wow, interaction.

also, there's a stupid meaningless ramble i made out of this incredible petpeeve of mine with EW x reader stuff and it's just down the cut sggkjdfjkk (it's fr just me being extremely salty)

Anyway, hello!

Haha, my curious and lonely ass really thought it was a clever idea to read 'eddsworld x reader' content because it spawned in my timeline.... thinking that maaaybe they actually got good at it and made not too ooc stuff (this is heeeeaavily on matt content)

Now, i am profoundly remorseful of that choice because when i wrote this hours ago woth no wifi, i was arguing with the air.

Like, i won't lie on this. EW x reader.. They have evolved, a loooot since those 2017 fanfics (why were the x yn fics from eddsworld all copy-paste back then???) actually, it really surprised me because i definitely don't have the most cool memories of such fanfics,, Buuuuut, they still have that STUPID FAVORITISM. IT'S SO DAMN APPARENT. YOU THINK WE CAN'T SEE IT???

i get madder from down this line, especially since i was veery hungry when writing this. That's why you should always stay fed, keeps you slightly happier.

nhamnhamnhamm, writes aaall cool stuff for edd, tom 'n tord... maybe with an ooc here and there, but enough to ignore,, but matt? Matt gets so ooc, he can be mistaken for an oc if no name is given.

like,,, did.. did we watch the same dude on screen? i know he was pretty neglected in content, but cmon, what is that?? He's practically a romance repellent with his stupidity (said affectionately)

it's the same 'pipipipopopo just a sweet mama's boy' and 'ooo, he's sooo romantic, look at how much of gentleman he is compared to otheeeers' and 'whaao he so silly ::3 *treats him as if he weren't an adult character' and so much more, all in this weird stereotype

I guess i'm just disappointed,,, all because he just, idk, still feels downright boring compared to how the other 3 are written in these kind of fanfics even thought it's 2024 already and not still 2017-2020 (don't even get me started on the weird fixation on making yn extremely specific which fr also makes me crawl away like a wet cat from EW reader interactive content, they don't even put tags of the gender, aaaaaargh).

y'all definitely have more content of him to write than just the saturation of him painting your nails, or going shopping, or acting like he's the center of the world 24/7, or making him the pure lil' angel, or having his memory issues being downplayed as him acting 'so silly lil' silly', i assure you.

When i tell you i got so invested in this useless anger i mean that i got compelled into writing down a bunch of matt x reader to try and give that man a cooler image,,, and i don't even see him that way (nor any of the characters.) , but GOD ARGHHHV I NEED JUSTICE FOR HIM.

i might be just a lil' hot headed while writing this whole stuff, but this bro got stripped out of BOTH his classic and his modern funky personality in 99% of these fanfics and nobody bats an eye, like, ever, unless they're another fan of the character. Free my ginger rat, pleeeeaaaaseee.

I need any weirdo, edgy, funky, unusual, vampire, zombie(heavily on you zombie matt my beloved), slasher, funny, whack matt written content that is not only interactive BUT friendly to all readers...

i don't even care what Matt is written, modern, or classic. Both types have their own weirdo charm, and i am willing to analyze them for a nice oneshot or spitball post.... where you don't get to a restaurant/picnic and receives flowers and it ends like that, without any more depth of such cute cliche fluff it is, and leaving you like you just licked off the scraps of a dessert from a plate given to you, so damn hungry 'n wishing you had eaten an actual dessert instead of whatever that was.

[chainoftalent]

1/2 I am the anon who wrote in the other day - thank you for responding so quickly! Would you be willing to do prompts from the NSFW Headcanon Game for both Yandere Kokichi and Yandere Shuichi if you feel comfortable with it and/or have the time? If so, could you do B, C, F, G, I, M, N, P, Q, R, S, T, U, W, X, and Y for both of them? I am sorry, I know that's a lot to ask for! I was tempted to ask for the entire prompt but I feel terrible because it's a lot for just one character, let alone two!

*spits out my drink* well, you certainly know what you want! Do I need to get you some water for that THIRST

NSFT Yandere Alphabet B, C, F, G, I, M, N, P, Q, R, S, T, U, W, X, and Y for Kokichi and Shuichi

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kokichi really likes his hands, he likes how clever his hands are and how quick they are, especially on use to his partner. While Kokichi really likes his partner's legs. He is definitely a bit of a leg guy, he likes them lean and strong.

If Shuichi had to pick, then maybe his eyes? They look kinda nice with the eyeliner and all that? He's not very body positive towards himself. His favorite part of his partner is their figure, especially if they're more on the curvy or heavy side, he likes being able to hold you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Kokichi honestly finds all the fluids of sex kinda gross, ew, so if you swallow for him you'll make him quite happy.

Shuichi thinks yours tastes absolutely divine!

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Kokichi likes when you ride his thigh, getting to pleasure you and you being on his lap, AND it can be done on his throne? Yes please.

Shuichi likes a cowgirl, getting straddled and getting to look you in the eyes? Win!

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Kokichi is inherently impossible to stay serious for longer then a minute he's going to be like "hey babe let me take my scarf off" and then he takes it off for like five whole minutes because he tied a bunch of other scarves to it and they just keep being pulled out from under his clothing my dude my guy you are not getting laid at this rate-

Shuichi tries to take it seriously, but hes a nervous wreck and easy to fluster, no intimidation at all, so it becomes rather funny even if he whines if you laugh at him.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Kokichi tries to keep it as light as possible, but if hes in a mood or doing aftercare, you'll find his touch...lingering, his holds more deep, some yearning to hold you so very close and keep you so very safe.

Shuichi wants to be so romantic but he's ~terrible at it~ he tries to be smooth and sweet but then you kiss his cheek and now he can't speak for another five minutes, you'll get their one day Shuichi.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Not much actually turns Kokichi on, but submission and giving his partner pleasure is definitely at least mild turn ons, he's just not very sex minded unless his partner is.

Meanwhile Shuichi is the guy who'll get stiff if he so much as has a breeze hit him while he's thinking about you. Very easy to rile up, it's funny.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Kokichi will never bottom, it's not even a control thing he just thinks that sounds Gross. All the fluids? The mess? Nooo thank you.

Shuichi hates painplay, he'll maybe give one or two spanks if you really want it but nothing more, he doesn't want to hurt anyone!!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Kokichi goes at your pace, do you want fast? Do you want slow, you'll get it, he's not here for his own pleasure after all.

Shuichi tries to be gentle and slow and all that, but once he's riled up he'll pick up in intensity pretty fast unless you snap him back to slowing down.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Kokichi doesn't mind a quickie, he'll stick a toy in you and we'll get this done in five minutes! No problem!

Shuichi much prefers something much much longer, but if you really just want something quick, he'll oblige, though he might try and draw it out into something more proper if you let him.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As long as there's not too much mess Kokichi will try basically anything once on you if you want!

Shuichi likes to experiment but he also will be like "okay you can back out if you really want you dont have to do this for me-" the entire time and that can be a bit annoying.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Kokichi has little stamina, but he's more of a stone top so thats fine, he can keep you teased out without wearing himself out with chasing his own finish for hooours because he won't touch himself but if you like suck him off? It won't take long.

Shuichi actually has a decent amount of stamina! He can keep going for awhile and would love to push you to multiple orgasm, but if you get overwhelmed you can tap out pretty easily.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Since Kokichi doesn't really like to use himself, he owns so many toys that can do the job done on whoever needs it in DICE. True found family shares and helps out whenever help is needed after all, wink.

Shuichi starts out with a really basic collection, but the longer he knows you and is well, fucking you, he'll collect more if he sees anything he wants to see you with.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kokichi is such a tease if you tell him you want something slow, so much dirty talk, so much touching but not touching the Right places, he can go all day like this.

Shuichi doesn't like to tease for long, he might tease for a few minutes but then he can't help but escalate, he just wants you so so so badly!

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Kokichi likes human furniture while Shuichi has a thing for femdom.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Shuichi is on the average size for his height, uncut, while Kokichi is a bit big for his height but honestly he's a little smaller then Shuichi still because he is a small lad.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Kokichi actually has a rather low sex drive, he's the kind of guy who watches porn completely clothed with his hands on his lap as he just stares at it and makes bad jokes, he's really only all that interested in the control it gives him, he likes making people feel good.

Shuichi has a decent sex drive but he's a Gentleman and a Good Partner so he's going to try not to bring it up unless you seem interested, he can handle himself if you dont want it sweetie!

And if I missed any send less next time (teasing), but do resend any I missed

[queenpiranhadon]

It's-a me with a new book series to hyper fixate on

So ehem I just finished the first book of the Inheritance Games (not adding it to my fandoms list until after I finish the series tho) and uh...

(spoilers below the cut)

BAHAHA XANDER WITH HIS SCONES I CAN'T- HE'S GONNA BECOME A POLITICIAN AND CREATE ENEMIES AND ALLIES SOLELY BY GIVING THEM BLUEBERRY OR LEMON SCONES HELP-

And the ending though?? Like I WANT Xander to go to Avery and work together because they both have crucial information but I also want him to get the recognition he deserves I will die on that hill.

Jameson seriously gives me Sirius Black + James Potter vibes (idk is that just me 😭). But like 👏🏾 do 👏🏾 not 👏🏾 treat 👏🏾 Avery like a piece in this big game, get over your dead ex and tell her you love her pls and thank you.

But like you know those videos about the best book boyfriends and their nicknames (idk maybe it's just me lmao) but like "Heiress" and "Mystery Girl" and "Cinderella" I'm squealing.

Grayson- okay there's a lot to him. I am in love with Avery's chemistry with Jameson but Grayson's chemistry with her is adorable too (in the first book at least). Like they start nerding out about statistics and probability like I want a man who will not only just judge me but join me as I overanalyze the implications of outfit, song, and set choices in movies or question the bounds of the universe and talk about the possibilities of the fourth dimension thank you very much.

But like, he has suffered a lot, even if nothing is really his fault, he takes it upon himself to blame himself because believes as the all-knowing Hawthorne he is responsible for everything. That being said, he could've been maybe less of an asshole in the beginning like man wdym by "you're injured and you will tell me why." like yes, that amount of dominance is attractive at certain moments but dude just leave the poor girl alone 😭

Nash I relate to on a spiritual level like oldest sibling, knows pretty much everything that his sibling are still trying to figure out, couldn't care less, doesn't care less, etc etc like join the club lmao. Obviously though, being in the Hawthorne family and having three extremely clever younger brothers all competitive in their own way, he's definitely felt undermined before and probably just stopped trying to be better. And I get that, even if I still try to be better than my own younger brother but he's just living his life, razzing up girls as one does lmao.

And his relationship with Libby...don't get me wrong, they're adorable together, like he's persistent in making sure she's secure and stable and his overprotectiveness is well...ehem he wants this things as they are lmaoo. But even so, I'm still a little wary about him because of his dating history but who knows maybe he'll prove me wrong.

Avery's so funny like first thing she thinks about when meeting any of the Hawthorne's (the grandsons I mean) is damn he's hot. And I mean after everything, I just love her, her reactions are on point, she's just trying to figure stuff out lmao.

I'm leaving my rant here uhm sorry for the essay heh

[pynkchampagne]

🖤🧡 Lestober Day 13: Share your favorite lyrics from your top five songs from Les projects of your choice. Why do you like them? Or be brave and share your favorite lyrics from five shuffled songs!

Five Shuffled Songs: Rumble of the Diesel // Tyranny of the Hunt // Iowan Gal // Harold of the Rocks // Moron TV

Expanded under the cut. ⬇️🎃

Rumble of the Diesel : Les Claypool

I like to keep it simple; it helps to keep me sane

I like floating in the ocean it nullifies the pain

Hmm, this one is harder- all the story ones are harder. Les’ songs are not often like Lana’s where I can just pick out a line like “oh this is so pretty” or “oh I relate”. Maybe I could have with my favorite songs. I picked this pair of lines because I like the imagery. This is a nice song, goes with his blue collar roots, talking about fishing albacore, which he loves to do. I like to think he’s speaking for himself here and how he finds peace on the water. Makes me want to go out on a boat. 

Tyranny of the Hunt : Colonel Claypool’s Bucket of Bernie Brains

A Petaluma man

Showed his gal a trick

He took a needle full of cocaine

And he shot it in his prick

They say he got the gangrene

The pain it wouldn't stop

And when he took a hot bath that night

His pecker floated to the top

I mean I had to include this whole section, because Les just has such a way with words, with storytelling. Lol, I think he’s funny. This is a good example of one of his humorous lyrics. Loves singing about fucked up dudes. This is the best part of the song tbh. I love when he says sex words, hehe. I wonder if he heard a story about this, scribbled it down, like ‘oh this has got to go in a song, cocaine in his dick!?’

Iowan Gal : Les Claypool

She's got a round bottom I like to spank it

She quilt me up a cashmere blanket

Pretty as a picture, happy as a clam

Pinch me and tell me how lucky I am

You may try to win her but you never will pal

My purebred, cornfed Iowan gal

Jesus this whole song makes me, like, blush. It’s about his wife, holy shit. Ughhh, of course shuffle would land on this. I mean, I have to pick the part where he talks about spanking her ass, right?? I’ve talked about it on this blog before. Talking about how much he loves her. How lucky he is and how possessive he is over her. How happy he is with her. I’m gonna cry. This whole song is so sweet…and…y’know. Damn. (Chaney signed off on one of her posts one time with something like ‘from this Iowan Girl’ and I’m sick.)

Harold of the Rocks : Primus

It was a weekend's eve

I had sex on my breath

I was looking for something to see

What are the odds of getting two songs I’ve mentioned on here before? Again, I’m picking the sex lyrics because I’m shallow. This is another story song about a guy he knew. Fucked up dudes on drugs, his favorite subject matter. This lyric is my evidence that he loves eating pussy. Okay. Thank you. Next.

Moron TV : Primus

Just when I thought I'd seen it all

They pull a cretin from the shelves

And flash that filth under their nails

To make us feel better about ourselves

First, wow, just fucking realized he’s saying “more on TV” than “Moron TV”, because I’m an idiot. He’s so clever, what nice word play. I like this lyric because of the visceral imagery. He’s got a very nice vocabulary. I like the commentary of how shitty reality TV is and how networks take advantage of vulnerable/stupid people to sell ads and shit. I like when he expresses his opinions in his work. I tend to agree with him on most things. 

[gojonanami]

Ok so I've been lurking on your page a lot for the past few months, and everytime you post, I get super excited and drop everything I'm doing at the moment to read it :) Thank you for your beautiful, engaging writing! I absolutely love "Three's a Crowd" and I re-read it several times a week, and when I read it for the first time, I just couldn't get Prof Geto and Prof Gojo out of my head. They are both so intelligent and captivating 😊 When you released your Prof Geto series, I was pretty much combusting on the inside hahahahah. I was not a Geto girlie before, but you've converted me. I am super super excited for your Prof Gojo fic in the future! Physics made me cry and scream and tear out my hair several times in high school and undergrad, but if it was Prof Gojo teaching it to me, it would actually be my favourite class just so I can stare at his stupid pretty face 😊I love love love love him so so much 😊😊😊He would be so kind during office hours, even if you ask stupid questions. He'd be patient and do his best to use clever analogies and examples in real life to try to break down the complicated material to make it easier for you to learn. It would be so funny if you were visiting his office hours, and he's demonstrating air resistance by throwing a paper ball vs eraser across the room, and then Prof Suguru pokes his head thru the office door to ask Prof Gojo a quick question, and then gets hit in the forehead with the eraser XD

omg hi bb and thank you for reading and lurking on my page haha. i cannot believe you reread my fic multiple times ksfjndkf it literally always blows my mind when someone tells me that and this message is no exception. yessss glad to convert someone - i am also a geto convert (i think its so funny because i have so much geto content now on this page and i used to hate him)

oh same dude, i hated physics. absolutely with a burning passion in high school and i'm so glad i never had to take it in college (although if prof gojo was teaching it, i'd be signing up in a heartbeat). he definitely would - he would also make the class entertaining and fun!! and help you see how physics applies in the real world as well!!

omg i love that hahah - idk if geto is going to make an appearance in the prof gojo fic, but if i do extra credit fics for him (little bonus fics), i'll definitely do that hahaha (i'll see if i can work it into the main story <3)

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2022 MOVIE OF THE WEEK #35

die hard. can you believe i had never seen this movie until this year’s holiday season? cuz i can’t really believe it. i went through such a bruce willis phase when i was younger, i used to own the dvd set of moonlighting and i watched him on friends and in movies with matthew perry and the fifth element was a classic in my house...somehow this one just escaped me, i think because my mom’s Action Men tastes were very specifically adrian paul and chuck norris. whereas mine can probably be best described as ‘aw shucks schlubby charm,’ dudes who just seem more normal until they are required to be badasses. bruce willis, david harbour...i can’t remember what other actor i realized he reminds me of while watching this, but i know i told leander and was pleased by the realization, so i’m sure there are more examples.

anyway, this was so not on my radar; i didn’t even know what it was about other than through cultural osmosis. when a movie is mentioned as often as this one, you Know It even when you don’t. though there is a specific kind of joy that comes from finally seeing the line ‘yippee ki-yay, motherfucker’ delivered in its original context. that was fun. 

until pretty recently, i didn’t know alan rickman was the antagonist--that was a large part of why i watched. and boy does he make a meal out of this role. a significant chunk of this movie was just me thinking about what a great actor he is in this. his line deliveries are so delicious that i made a mental note just to mention ‘ho...ho...ho.’ as something nobody else could have had as much fun with. i was truly sad when his character finally died, because of course that ending was always going to come, but i didn’t want it to. the mark of a good villain is actually wanting more of them when you’re not supposed to like them in the first place, and he was an excellent villain--clever and funny with his own moral code, perfect to face off against bruce willis’s unexpected hero.

besides alan rickman, the other reason i decided to watch this (with @actuallylukedanes​ and their fiance who had both seen it before) was that it was featured in an episode of you are good, a movie podcast i like, which meant i’d already heard about the plot and figured that might help me enjoy it more. (normally if they discuss movies i intend to watch, i skip those episodes to avoid spoilers, but i never planned to see this one. lol.) anyway, they watched it as one of their christmas picks, and i knew there was a big debate about whether or not it counts as a christmas movie.

now that i’ve seen it, i feel like the debate is settled and it is OBVIOUSLY a christmas movie, no question. it is in my opinion a movie about a bunch of people (including john mcclain) having the worst christmas of their lives, and there was something i found oddly comforting about that. with my shiny new holiday depression this year, i wasn’t in the mood for any holiday movies--but i would rewatch this one every christmas, because like any good christmas movie there is a party and people remember that family is the most important thing. but UNLIKE other christmas movies, it has alan rickman taking his craft super seriously while bruce willis is in his softest and prettiest young phase, which i adore. and things explode.

(i also need us all to move on from this ‘is it a christmas movie?’ debate so people can be converted to the cult of my much more underappreciated christmas fave, batman returns. tim burton said gotham christmas but make it creepy! and michelle pfieffer learned better whip skills than harrison ford just to manifest it. the true spirit of christmas is being reanimated by cats, and using your new nine lives to flirt with a wealthy orphan while seeking vengeance on anyone who wronged you.)

i’m sure i could go on, but you can tell how old this movie is from the poster up there--i was barely ALIVE when this came out, lol. so i am very late to the party and i doubt a ton of people need me going on and on about it. besides alan rickman and bruce willis, i didn’t know most of the cast, but they all did a good job, there was at least one plot thread that didn’t go the way i expected, and i was pleasantly surprised by that. this movie’s racial politics make me reeeeally uncomfortable, but it’s not at all unusual for its time. the one honorable mention i’d give in casting is to the actor i grew up watching on family matters who plays a central role in helping john survive. he’s portrayed as a black hero, but he can’t just be one because he’s john’s emotional support system throughout the movie--no, he has to become a ‘real’ cop again by shooting a guy. at the same time, you have two major comic relief characters, and both are young black men; one driving john’s limo and the other handling technology for the villain. there’s a same sort of ‘balance’ with the movie’s two asian characters, the seemingly kind company owner who’s murdered early on versus a team member of the villain whose role is also tiny.

the movie is also trying to say stuff (or is just accidentally saying stuff based on the era) around post-soviet american perspectives, but i feel like the racial element sticks out way more because it goes uncommented on. like since it’s clearly not something the plot thinks about, these choices are even more noticeable and important because they reflect the buried stuff.

idk, i just have a lot of feelings about the fact that john’s friend over the radio couldn’t be really redeemed unless he used his gun. or about the fact that he and john are both cops in the first place, so even this sort of ‘everyman’ action movie is promoting the idea that while the fbi and other bureaucracy is useless or will even make things worse, good cops are the only hope we have. 

and his marital reconciliation--i basically just threw up my hands with that one, because i don’t think a near-death experience on christmas will automatically save your marriage. but at the same time, if your wife’s problem with you is that you wouldn’t follow her to her new job, and you finally show up there and save a whole building full of people while she’s in it...then yeah, okay, whatever. maybe that’s all it takes. i mean, if i were her, i’d probably be willing to consider applying for jobs back in new york after that anyway. they’ve definitely earned some kind of happy ending.

in conclusion, i loved this movie. it is an action movie classic in the truest sense of how that felt in the 80s and 90s, and it features bruce willis at his finest and alan rickman briefly doing an american accent and a whole very huge lot of broken glass. broken glass is basically a character in this movie. die hard was an excellent christmas choice for me this year and i’m glad i was welcome to join in the watching. :)

[thesaurus]

// NOT cr*sh related

// but I think I broke up with a friend last week

// years ago (he did want to sleep with me at the time) he told me I absolutely never had to pay for my own drinks when we went out

// so I assumed that was either still the case or he would have SAID SOMETHING about it

// he makes 2x I make in a year and I absolutely usually get the tab for friends who make 1/2 what I make in a year so I didn’t think it was weird

// when I come over I usually bring like 2 bottles of wine and I was like… you usually pay for both of my light beers so the wine is actually more $?

// and he said what it’s like 15$/bottle?

// and I had to be like… try 40$ (I’m bougie and like natural wine)

// and he basically threw like a little bitch fit after he had like 5 cocktails about it

// like actually you’ve had 4 years to bring this up, I don’t think it’s weird I haven’t been paying for my (quarterly ish) drinks, you should have said something!

// and then he also got so mad when I said I think I’m more attractive even though I’m obviously like just some gal (I think avg women are typically hotter than an avg dude and he couldn’t get behind it)

// and he was like you’re a 7! A 7.2! And I kept being like… but I don’t care if you think I’m hot? I’ve decided I’m hot? And in most cases, you know, the question is would you kiss them or not, not where they rank on a goddamn scale

// and he told me I have “probably too much” self esteem

// I’m a woman in society isn’t it great to be able to reach this point! I don’t care if he thinks that!

// and he was so fucking weird about other things that I had to be like… you think you’re like a really good guy but I think this actually means you’re an asshole

// so alter he texted me being like “the hill was 180$ and you think you should contribute nothing? Just wondering”

// and I was like !! I have no problem paying for “my lifestyle” (he called it that first)

// but it’s pretty awful that you never brought up that you only said that you’d always pay for shit because you wanted to sleep with me

// and he was like I don’t want to sleep with you lmao

// I know you don’t anymore! But you did!

// and then he said his guy friend always pays him back (they’re friends from high school and make basically the same $ working at the same place) and how was this any different?

// so I just venmoed him 180$ when I woke up the next day

// and never plan to talk to him again

// like hey maybe I could have insisted on covering things more often

// but like also maybe communicate

.

// he was also clearly so mad that I was excitedly texting a boy through drinks

// and even madder when I said that I knew I was great and this was just some guy (I like him but again, women typically hotter etc etc)

// but that I do really well (basically) when men can stand up to me and challenge me (it is healthy for me to be put in my place once in a while) and that tension (sexual but also just in general with boys) was something I liked

// and he was like, do you just mean banter?

// and I was like ! I am cleverer than you what the fuck man

// and he was like, oh I wouldn’t have expected that (that I do well basically being treated as an intellectual equal and… like when someone can keep up with me and again… put me in my place)

// and it’s like… god forbid women are hot (and act like it!), smart and funny (and act like it), know what they like, and don’t want to settle for boring mediocre “nice” dudes

.

.

// ANYWAY at least my cr*sh actually votes in elections and cares about things and obviously can be infuriating about shit, but tension is important and this shouldn’t be a bar but it… has been

[thatoneerin]

FINALLY GOT SOMETHING DONE FOR MY ALERUDY HC (I refuse to call it an au because ITS REAL TO ME >:’( )

Anyway, enjoy my little characterization/head-canon thing I did for the Vargas-Parra fam 😌

Maria - 7

soft spoken - shy around new people - brutally honest - creative - funny - intelligent - clever - jealous 

super into motorcycles, much to her papa’s pleasure (he’s got like, 3)

closer to Rodolfo than she is with Alejandro. they’re still close, y’know, but if she needs comfort, she’s going to Rudy

will often blurt out whatever she’s thinking about a situation. It’s usually not anything too bad, but there have been couple of times where Ale n Rudy have had to pull her aside and be like “dude, you can’t just say that shit”

her favorite superhero is Wonder Woman and will, at the drop of a pen, go on a tangent on how cool she is if anyone even mentions superheroes

doesn’t cling onto her dads as often as Sophie does, but if she notices they’ve been paying more attention to Sophie (or literally any other kid) that day, she’ll grab their hand then stare daggers at the offending “attention hogger”

Sophie - 5

outgoing - loud - mischievous - confident - creative - athletic - curious - stubborn - forgetful 

obsessed with mangoes? for some reason?? has eaten some every day for the past like, year, and it's healthy so Alejandro and Rudy are just like “lol, okay I guess??” (she’s neurodivergent, it’s a comfort food)

glitter.. everywhere.. Ale and Rudy don’t even know where it comes from cause they’re smart enough to have never bought any, but she’ll just have glitter all over her hands or where ever else on her body (this doesn’t really change as she gets older, but instead of glitter, it’s paint and marker)

is equally close with both of her dads, honestly just clings onto the one closest to her at. all. times. if she’s not distracted with her sister or something else. which, honestly, is pretty often because she’s pretty easily distracted (lol same kid)

LOVES big animals, especially since she’s being raised around cows and horses. Loves doing chores out on the ranch with Alejandro.

Rodolfo aka Papa

nurturing - witty - ambitious - funny - thoughtful - passionate - fearless - protective - overthinker 

Is just Snow White. He can and will pick up any animal/bug with his bare hands and never ends up getting hurt from it. Constantly freaks out the girls (and to an extent, Alejandro) when he shows up to them with a big ass spider in his hands

FANTASTIC singing voice. Will sing the girls to sleep when they’re having especially rough nights

Can cook, he just prefers to bake 

Has tattoos of Maria and Sophie’s newborn baby handprints wrapping around his thumbs

Had to learn early on that he couldn’t hover over the babies all the time, that they would get hurt sometimes and that’s okay

Went to his mama and sister A LOT for help (his sister had already had three kids by the time Rudy had his first) ((not actually HAD, they had a surrogate))

VERY dry and sarcastic humor, and is quick to think of something funny to say. Maria slowly picks up on it, sometimes saying stuff out of the blue that makes Ale and Rudy do a double take, leading Alejandro to say “I see where she gets her humor from” with a shit eating grin on his face.

Becomes a part time pet Veterinarian after getting honorably discharged from the military. He’d always been interested in being a Vet (haha), but, y’know. He kinda followed Alejandro into the military and stayed there for a good 15 years, so-

Alejandro aka Papi/Dad

bold - impulsive - funny - short temper - adventurous - encouraging - loud - stubborn 

Is mainly the one who plays with the girls since he’s the one that’s home with them most of the time (he works from home. what does he do? great question, i haven't figured that out yet)

Has literally had to stop himself from really arguing with his daughters (mainly Sophie) multiple times because he’ll just stop and be like “I’m arguing with a 5 year old, what the hell am I doing??”

Has a terrible temper, but has NEVER raised his voice at his girls. He learned how to control it to the point where he’ll be able to calm himself down enough to not yell, but will still have Rudy be the one that scolds the girls most times, just in case. He never, ever wants his girls to be scared of him. He still makes sure to redirect his girls when needed, he just doesn’t do it when he’s mad

VERY early bird, Like, 6am early. Goes for runs in the morning then gets back in time to cook breakfast before anyone else is even up. There have been a few times where he’s caught Mariana up super early as well, playing in the living room by herself. He then usually sits with her for a while before making breakfast

Kind of a workaholic. It’s gotten better since he got out of the military, but if he’s got something to do that pertains to work, you best believe he’s sitting his ass down and not doing anything else until that thing is done

Gets WAY into sports (football/soccer, *COUGH*), he’s one of those dads. Only times the girls will hear both of their dads yell is at sports games (Sophie joins in on it when she gets older and gets more into sports, Maria thinks they’re all crazy)

Picks up woodcarving after leaving the military, actually made a few of the girl’s toys that they end up keeping as they get older

Is the one that cooks the most (also ties in with the fact that he’s the one at home the most)

CLUMSY AS SHIT. Will trip over his own feet constantly, always making the girls (and to extension, Rudy) laugh their asses off at it

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Shin Dark [Prologue]

ー The scene starts in the Special Classroom

Yui: ( If I had to pick between them, I’d say Shin-kun still seems the most reasonable... )

Well...Shin-kun, let’s go then.

Shin: ...Heeh. You’re going to choose me over Nii-san?

ーー Which begs the question, Nii-san. Can I keep her?

Yui: ( ‘Keep her’...? I thought I was just going to show him around campus? )

Carla: ...I see no problem. Suit yourself.

ー Carla leaves

Yui: ( Ah...There he goes. )

( ...What now? I have a bad feeling about this...Like they’re scheming something outside of my grasp. )

Shin: ...Huh? Why do you suddenly seem so anxious?

Yui: ...Ah, you see...

( However...It’d be rude to suspect them out of the blue, right? )

It’s nothing.

Shin: ...No point trying to cover it up. You’re being wary of us, aren’t you? 

Yui: ...Ugh.

Shin: Well, rest assured. I won’t treat you badly.

ーー As long as you behave, that is.

Yui: ...

Shin: Anyway, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Why don’t we shake hands, huh? 

Yui: ...Ah, sure. ...The pleasure is all mine...

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Woah! That’s one powerful handshake... )

Shin: Hm? Aah...Sorry, my bad~ I forgot to hold back. Did I hurt your hand? Are you alright?

Yui: I-I’m fine.

( ...Oh no. I can’t quite put it into words, but Shin-kun is kind of scary too after all... )

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Shin: Hm...So this is the school, huh?

I only caught a glimpse so far, but this place really seems dull. 

Yui: Ahaha, is that so...?

( Anyway...Once I’m done showing him around, I should avoid approaching him carelessly. )

ーー Shin-kun, this is the infirmary.

*Rattle*

ー The scene shifts to the infirmary

Yui: Please come here if you ever feel unwell. 

Shin: Gotcha. I doubt that’ll ever happen though. 

Yui: ...

( A-Anyway, I’m pretty much done showing him around now. )

Shin-kun, this is the end of the tour. 

I’m sure it’s hard to remember everything at once, so don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Shin: ...

Yui: ( I’m kind of scared...I better leave as soon as I can.. )

...W-Well then...Why don’t we call it a day and head home?

I’ll go grab my bag, okay?

Shin: ーー No need.

Yui: ...!

What do you mean? ...Why not? I can’t go home and leave my bag behind at school. 

Shin: What I mean is that you don’t need to head back there. 

Now you belong to us...No, belong to me. 

Yui: ...Uu. W-What do you mean? I don’t understand. 

Shin: What I mean? You don’t need to know.

Yui: ...Y-You can’t just decide that for me...

Shin: ...Good grief...I guess I was wrong when I thought you were a clever girl. What a shame. 

Anyway, you are mine now. So shut up and accept that.

Yui: That’s easy for you to say...I can’t just accept it.

Shin: ...Che...You’re quite the handful...

Funny coming from the girl who looks like she’s a natural at this sorta stuff.

Yui: ...A natural? At what exactly...?

Shin: You know, you seem like the kinda girl who has no issue accepting her own fate, no matter how unreasonable it may be. 

Yui: !!

Shin: You’ve been through this plenty of times before, haven’t you? Hey, I’m not wrong, am I?

Yui: What do you...?

Shin: Hmー Let me think, right...A bunch of dudes ganging up on you, for example.

Yui: ...W-Well...

Shin: Bull’s eye? Then why not simply accept it this time as well? That’d suit you the best.

No matter what fate lies ahead of you, it’s all out of your own control...

There was nothing you could do. You were completely helpless. Hey? Now it’s no longer an issue, right?

Yui: ...Ugh.

I’m going home!

Shin: Haah? ーー I repeat, you can’t. Were you even listening to me? Or are you just that stupid? 

Yui: ( He’s pulling my hair...! )

I-It hurts!

Shin: Exactly. It hurts.

ーー And?

You think I’m going to let you go if you show me those teary eyes?

Just give up. That sorta stuff doesn’t work on me. It only makes you seem like a weakling. 

Yui: ...!

Shin: But, well...I guess I don’t dislike seeing the fear reflected in your eyes. 

Yui: ( ...! )

Shin: Aah, that being said...Can’t you do anything about this awful Vampire stench coming from your blood?

Yui: ( Vampire...The scent of my blood...? )

( A human wouldn’t be able to pick up on such things. Could it be...? )

...I figured it out, Shin-kun...You’re a Vampire as well, aren’t you...!? 

Shin: ...Haah?

What did you say just now?

Yui: Eh...?

Shin: ...Che...I try to be kind to you for two seconds and this is what I get in return? 

‘A Vampire’? ...Don’t you dare group me together with that filth!

*Thud*

Yui: ...Kyah!!

( H-He pushed me down...He suddenly seems like an entirely different person...Oh no, at this rate! )

Shin: No point in trying to escape. Serves you right, oi. 

Yui: ...W-Why do you do this!?

Shin: Good question. I wonder why? Honestly, I suggest you don’t try to find the answer to all questions the in this world. It’d be in your own best interest. 

Exactly...Why don’t you suffer in ignorance, simply wrapped around my little finger?

*THUD*

Yui: ...!

Shin: Hey, listen up...Others have been after your blood this whole time, correct?

Going on about how delicious and special that stinky blood of yours is...

But to me, in its current state, your blood holds very little value.

If anything, it’s much more tainted than the blood of any other human out there...

So you better don’t believe yourself to be special. Time to get off your high horse.

Yui: ...Ugh. D-Doing all of this...Just what exactly are you!?

Shin: Haah? You’re really curious, aren’t you?

Whatever, let me tell you then.

ーー We are First Bloods. 

I guess even an idiot like yourself will understand the term ‘Founders’?

Yui: ...Founders...?

Shin: Exactly. Thereforeーー

*WOOSH*

Shin: Nobody can oppose us.

Yui: ( H-He transformed into a wolf!? )

Shin: Haah...The stench of Vampires only gets stronger when in this form...I’m sick of it.

ーー Let’s get going. 

Yui: G-Go where...?

Shin: I’m tired of talking to a piece of trash.

You just shut up and let meーー

*CHOMP*

Yui: Kyaaah!

Shin: ーー carry you in my mouth like this. (1)

I don’t want to hear any ugly cries from you, understand? 

Yui: ( Aah, I can’t...I... )

...

Shin: ...Jeez, she fainted, huh? 

Is she really the ‘Queen’ of the chess board? 

A girl like this? ...God...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the guest room in the Tsukinami manor

Yui: ...

( I feel dizzy...Where am I...? )

??? 1: ーー So, Nii-san.

You really don’t mind leaving her in my care?

??? 2: I do not.

Yui: ( ...Ah...! Right, Shin-kun was the one who... )

Shin: Gotcha. Ahー ...But how are we going to cleanse her?

Carla: I shall leave that up to you.

Yui: ( ...O-Our eyes met... )

Carla: She regained consciousness, huh...?

ー Carla walks to the door

Shin: Nii-san, where are you going...?

ーー Hm? Ah, I see...Sleeping Beauty has awoken from her slumber, hasn’t she?

Yui: ...Where am I?

Shin: Where would you like to be? The manor of those Vampires? 

Yui: ...

Shin: Well, it doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s just some trivial detail.

More importantly...

Nii-san left you in my care. I guess he isn’t really interested in the early stages of your cleansing...

Yui: Cleansing...? Early stages...?

Shin: Exactly. Your blood has been dirtied after all. It doesn’t hold any value to us unless it’s purified. 

Hm? You want to know how we’ll do that? Aah, you ask so many questions. 

ー Shin approaches her

Shin: Listen carefully...I’m going to suck out the poison. 

*Rustle*

Shin: Like thisーー Nn.

ー He bites her

Yui: ...!!

Shin: ...Nn...Phew...

God. Your blood really is disgusting...Nn...

Yui: S-Sto...

Shin: Shut up...Nn...

Yui: Aah...!

Shin: Hehe...Do you always make those kinds of sounds? Hey, tell me...?

...Nn...Haah...

...Nn...Nnh!

Yui: Uu...!

Shin: They’re not half bad...

Oh well, I don’t think I’d be able to down this foul blood if it weren’t for that small amount of enjoyment I get out of it.

Haah...Nn...Nnh.

Yui: ( I-I...I have to get away from here...Ah... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) I’m not sure how Shin can still talk while he’s carrying Yui like this, but literally he says ‘let yourself be carried while my fangs are sinking into (you)’. Wolves do carry their pups in their mouth to transport them from one place to another, so that’s the visual I had inside my head for this. xD

[highly-flammable]

Headcanon about how Marc and Layla’s story went

(Why am I incapable of writing things concisely)

(Also episode 5 might prove me entirely wrong IDK)

Knoshu’s first tasks were keeping Marc in Egypt, and he went to find Layla because he was feeling guilty about her father’s death (he might have heard something about how El Faouly had a daughter who he needed to go back to before El Faouly died)

At first he would just watch from afar. Layla’s grief really hurt him and he kept thinking about how powerless he was to take it away, and how different her relationship must have been from Marc’s complicated relationship with his own parents

One day, he just orchestrated a run-in with Layla to talk to her because staying away was killing him, and Layla was slightly charmed by this person who seemed interested in her and wanted to understand her

Layla was struggling with rage on top of her grief because she could guess that foreigners had killed her father to get their hands on Egyptian artefacts, and she started her quest to steal such items back from the black market

One day while trying to check on Layla, Marc saw her going out and decided to follow because she seemed to mean business

Lo and behold, he found her trying to steal back artefacts and highkey getting into trouble

Marc made his presence known to help Layla fight her way out, and Layla was like, yo dude, WTH are you doing here, are you following me 😡 Marc pretended that he also wanted the artefacts and proposed that they shared some of the spoils after they got out of there

The situation escalated and Marc had to whip out his Moon Knight suit

After they got out, both of them were pretty impressed with each other but also started bantering about how the other person did things, because neither of them could wear their heart on their sleeve

Marc didn’t want to tell Layla about how he got the suit, especially because the story was directly related to her father’s death, and he wanted to push her away when she started asking questions

But he saw how she kept going on these missions and he would not just worry about her but also want to be near her. He felt more guilt for that, but he rationalized that he was an asset to her if she wanted to continue retrieving artefacts and therefore it was okay for him to be around her, so he told her he wanted to regularly join her

What really kept drawing Marc to Layla was the fact that in spite of her grief, she never lost her sense of humour. She was still capable of looking at the beauty of the world and having a little fun whenever she could. Marc struggled to get out of the darkness that he was shrouded in, and he felt like Layla’s resilience inspired him. You can add Layla being very capable and clever to that lol

While Layla appreciated his help every now and then, she also had trouble trusting him because he wouldn’t tell her how he could summon the suit. Since he couldn’t stay away from her, at one point he ended up telling her about Khonshu, carefully omitting everything about what happened at the dig site

Layla disturbed enough hornet’s nests that staying in Egypt became dangerous for her, so Marc urged her to leave with him

They went to a few other countries, tracking down antiques and also doing things for Khonshu (which included continuously searching for Ammit’s scarab), and basically became a well-oiled machine of a team

Layla started to fall for Marc when she saw that in spite of the stoic image that he put up, he had a lot of emotional depth and he was a really caring person. He would act all casual around her but pretty much would lose it every time she was in danger, and he would keep doing little things for her to make her more comfortable or just cheer her up.

They would have to develop all kinds of covers on their missions. Both of them would pretend they found it funny when they would have to act like a couple, but they both secretly liked it

One day, Marc got hurt badly enough that even though he had the healing suit, Layla was seriously worried and realized she didn’t want to lose him (this is also where her overprotective wife mentality stemmed from). Marc saw her emotional reaction and realized she loved him back, Layla told him that he was basically her family now, and Marc decided to propose to her in a rare “to hell with guilt, I just wanna be with this girl” moment. Layla accepted, obviously.

I think they probably had a civil wedding because you know, interfaith marriage (Marc’s Jewish and I headcanon Layla as Muslim since May is too and Layla’s name is pretty Muslim-sounding). I guess the reception had elements of both of their cultures, hence the zaghrouta (it was maybe performed by Layla’s associate who made her fake passport)

Marc and Layla continued their globe-trotting, and at one point stayed in London in a flat 20 mins away from Steven’s eventual apartment

Something traumatic enough happened that Marc, who was already struggling to commit violence in Khonshu’s name, wanted out. But Khonshu blackmailed him to continue being the Moon Knight by saying that if he quit, the next avatar would be Layla. Marc started acting distant from Layla to protect her. They started having arguments and Marc basically told her that after he had experienced said traumatic event, he couldn’t be in a relationship and needed to move on. He left and sent Layla the divorce papers that he never could bring himself to sign. Steven started developing from his trauma and pain. He set up a life for Steven, put his own things in storage and threw himself into his work for Khonshu.

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Defenders of Berk✨

Not Astrid being pissed bc Fishlegs called her mean lmaooo

OMGGG "I would never call my father ridiculous. I'm calling my chief ridiculous" THE POWER OF THIS SCENE

The way Toothless just sat to look at the sunset.. Me too bby me too 🥺

Toothless and Thornado's shots combined was amazing!

"The first rule about the dragon flight club is that there is no dragon flight club"

Istg Meatlug and Fishlegs are made for each other

Baby whispering deaths!

OMG THEY JUST CAME UP WITH GRONCKLE IRON

I love seeing the origin of things ☺️

Wowww I just realized that Gobber has a unibrow

Sandstone makes glass

That shiny black rock makes another shiny black Rock, it also has Meatlug boiling

WOW a combination of multiple rock makes Meatlug a magnet

The way Hookfang pays more attention to Fishlegs than Snotlout is funny

Fishlegs on Toothless!!!!

"TOO MUCH FURY, TOO MUCH FURY!" JAHDHDHAH

Awwww love how Fishlegs feels happy abt being needed

DAGUR'S BACK AHH

I never understood why Dagur called Hiccup his brother but it's kinda funny

Young hiccup actually fighting is pretty badass and that shield 🥴

The way they were all trying to get Gobber to shower lmaooo

Gobber saved Gustav's life and Fishleg saved Astrid's

Am I the only one that finds the whispering deaths kinda funny, like yes they're scary but these mfs have tiny wings, a big ass head, are covered in spines and can't see like-

Newly hatched whispering deaths can be more deadly that adults bc they can't control their jaws or spines

WOW WOW WOWWWW A WHITE WHISPERING DEATH - Titanwing whispering death with red eyes OMG NO NO THIS IS THE SCREAMING DEATH I KNEW IT ‼️‼️

Wow but the pain in Snotlout's eyes 🥺

Monstrous nightmares are stoker-class dragons

Fireworms get brighter the closer they get to each other

Ohhhhh now I get the history behind Hookfang and the fireworms queen's connection

"You're not just another sword, Hookfang"

Awww the fireworm queen saved Hookfang, I ship them now JSHDHSHS

BABY ASTRID!! 🥺🥺🥺 AWWW

Flightmare - follows the glowing algae caused by Aurvandil's fire, sprays a paralyzing mist to those who it considers a threat to its survival

Aurvandil's fire = Aurora Borealis

YES ASTRID BEAT SNOTLOUT UP

Hiccup: Well, you know, Astrid, uh, training dragons isn't the only thing I think about.

Astrid: Are you actually saying that to me with a straight face?

JAHSHAHAJAJ I SWEAR I LOVE THESE TWO the way both of them said these lines I can't ✋🏼😂

The way she said the exact same thing as her uncle and even took on the name I-

I have this headcanon that bc I'm pretty sure Astrid's parents were barely mentioned in the shows or movies that her uncle was the person that was there for her the most which is another reason why it upset her to see people making fun of him

Why does whenever Astrid gets shot by a dragon she always tries to hit it off like her axe is a baseball bat? 😂

Hiccup saving Astrid in the flightmare ep🥺🥺🥺🥺

GLOWY TOOTHLESS AND GLOWY STORMFLY AND GLOWY MEATLUG ARE ADORABLE

Awww I love how Hiccup makes sure to mention the fact that "Fearless Fin Hofferson was indeed fearless, just like all the Hoffersons" 🥺🥺🥺 STOP AND THEN SHE SMILES AND HE PROCEEDS TO PUT HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I-🥴🥴🥴

I love how they're always interrupted whenever they're about to say a bad word

Lil terrible terrors are adorable 🥺

The fact that what they were trained for was actually useful it's crazy

Astrid: "no one is kissing me on the lips ever!!" HHSHAHAH ASTRID WHY U LYING

I feel like we don't appreciate how smart Hiccup actually is, and I don't mean that dragon-wise or building stuff-wise I mean in general. I'm in ep9 and they're finding old dragon traps to get rid of them and there was a lil breeze and he was like "there's a dry hot wind coming in from the north. It hasn't rained in 2 months. This is definitely fire weather." like how- am I the only one that would've been like okok a nice warm breeze 😩

Dude the typhoomerangs are so scary and huge wtf

I KNEW HE WAS TORCH

Torch actually built a lil relationship with Tuff just for that but of time I love it

WE'RE FINALLY GONNA SEE THE SKRILL!! I love it it's one of my favorite dragons :D

I never understood why fishlegs says his name when he's excited

Skrills - The skrill was first found frozen, it's the symbol of the Berserkers, it can stay safely frozen for decades because of their internal body temperature, can't redirect any lightning if it's in the water 😳

Y'all the skrill and the nightfury have gotta be related somehow, they're probably like cousins or sum. I mean the night fury is the "unholy offspring of lighting and death" and the skrill can control lightning AND TECHNICALLY TOOTHLESS CAN TOO REMEMBER HTTYD 3 + they also have similar physical characteristics at least Imo.

Dude this dragon is so badass 😌🤩🥰😩🥴❣️🤍🤝 I'm literally so obsessed

Wow one of the first times I see the twins actually doing sum useful

The way the shots combine🥴

Dagur has misophonia - condition where people experience intense negative emotions for sounds such as eating, chewing, loud breathing or even repeated pen-clicking [ep11]

Oh wow so they originally trapped the skrill in this show i didn't know

Wait but baby Gustav is actually adorable wtf and the fact that he and Snotlout have matching Viking hats

OMG SEE NOW I'M SEEING GUSTAV'S ORIGIN WITH HIS DRAGON AND HIS DESIRE TO BECOME A RIDER

Fanghook🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ruff puts fish oil on her hair to get "a greasy unwashed look"

Really hate when Snotlout doesn't accept no for an answer

THE HAND THING AHHHH I LOVE IT this time is Ruff and a scauldron

Ok guys so I did this with mi friend's puppy who I accidentally scared enough to make him piss himself and I'm pretty sure I traumatized him and now when I'm around the poor dog tries to get as far away from me as possible but one day we were kinda bonding although he still wouldn't let me pet it AND I DID THE HAND THING BECAUSE WHY NOT AND THIS LIL MF ACTUALLY PUTS HIS FACE IN MY HAND- I screamed and he left again🥺😂 BUT IT DID WORK

Scauldy🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰😌☺️🤩🤍

Ok but ruffnut with short hair 🤩

Speedstingers

Also the way Astrid ran up to Hiccup in the ep14

Wait but the scene whenever they're fighting the Speedstingers and Fishlegs says they're too fast but Hiccup's like "not for a nightfury" and then they show Toothless dodging the Speedstinger's attack AND THEN THEY SHOW HICCUP PROTECTING HIMSELF WITH HIS SHIELD WHICH GETS THROWN AWAY BUT RIGHT THERE TOOTHLESS CATCHES IT AND THROWS IT BACK TO HICCUP who's like "Thanks bud" 🤩🤩🤩 literally so badass go watch it!! It's ep14 frozen min 17:40

I really liked the relationship Snotlout and Astrid created with each other's dragon 🥺

HOOKFANG'S WINGBLAST AND STORMFLY'S SINGLE-SPINESHOT ARE HELLA BADASS... I love how they worked together this time 🥺

DUDE JAHDHSJAJJJSA ppl really underestimate Ruff's cleverness, this bish really gets Tuff to do the dumbest things just to enjoy looking at him hurting himself JAHDHSJAH😂

TOOTHLESS REALLY JUST BIT AN EEL'S HEAD OFF TO SAVE HICCUP🥺

Baby toothless is high🥺

"Uh, okay. That one was a little close to the one good leg" JAHDHAHSHA ISTG I LOVE THIS DUDE

Johan hates Snotlout for breaking his stuff

Tuff got Macey the Mace from Trader Johan

Astrid looks hot without her shoulder pads

Ok but Dagur looks so weird without his viking hat in this show

The baby thunderdrums are adorable - BING BAM AND BOOM

NOOO STOICK JUST LEFT THORNADO 🥺

OHHH SO ALVIN WAS ACTUALLY FROM BERK and he was Stoick's best friend

Snotlout and Hiccup are parallels of Alvin and Stoick

Ok but that trick Snotlout did was amazing, he really had Hookfang do a lil typhoomerangs move and then the wingblast🤩

I FINISHED IT OMG NOW ONTO RTTE!!

[aellynera]

Moon Knight Episode 1 - The Goldfish Problem

Okay, so after staying up until 2am my local time to watch the series premiere last night, I’m going in again because YES PLEASE. In a way, I wish DIsney would drop the whole series at once, but I’m kind of a masochist and I revel in the idea of dragging it out and making myself crazy for five more weeks. So hre I am blogging thoughts/reactions as I rewatch this episode. Feel free to ignore me, feel free to inbox me with your thoughts/comments, please scream along with me because this series is gonna be a ride.

*** PLEASE BE ADVISED THERE ARE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT ***

Okay, so I actually knew what the first scene was going to be because of reading an interview Ethan had done, but dude… glass in your shoes is a little extreme no matter who your chosen god is. Also, if you wore glass-filled shoes and no socks all the time, your feet would look way more gnarly than that.

And this soundtrack? Is KILLING IT. The song choices are fucking fantastic and whoever was in charge of the music should get extra cookies.

I want a Gus. 

Is Steven actually leaving a voicemail for his mom, or does he just think he’s talking to his mom? Is he really calling his real (Marc’s) mom, who undoubtedly knows about the DID? 

God I would take any tour Steven wanted to give me I LOVE HIM OKAY???

I know people are like “omg that British accent” and yes, it’s supposed to be kind of fake but it still works, which is the point. And the way they’ve written Steven’s dialogue so far is maybe my favorite thing in the show. I’m the type of person who is far too self-deprecating on a daily basis and he’s like the perfect mix of smart, funny, and just a bit too self-aware and it makes me so happy and I would honestly watch an entire show JUST about Steven Grant and his everyday life. He feels like such a real person to me, I don’t know how else to explain it.

 “If I’m gonna have a girlfriend at some point, at some point, obviously can’t have ankle restraints on my bed, can i?” Y’ALL ThE WAY I LAUGHED. Holy shit. Have I read too much smutty fanfic? Probably BUT COME ON OSCAR you can’t just SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT and- honestly what exactly is the problem here sir? Sorry, getting distracted.

Any time this man puts a pair of glasses on is a good day. A GOOD DAY. Tell me I’m wrong.

I adore Khonshu’s snarky ass and I kinda want my very own to narrate my existence and mock me on the daily. And I adore that it’s F. Murray Abraham and that in a backwards kind of way, Llewyn Davis is finally being mentored by Bud Grossman like he always wanted.

If Ethan Hawke was going for the David Koresh cult leader vibe? Nailed it. He’s charismatic and interesting and creepy and I can’t wait to see how he develops too.

The first time Steven had a blackout I thought my tv and my app were fritzing and I was ready to throw things.

This is officially the greatest use of “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” in the history of ever.

THE CUPCAKE VAN AND THE CHICKEN TRUCK. Charming.

Okay and then the fact somewhere in the time that Marc/Steven was in the Alps, Gus died? And Marc replaced Steven’s fish? Like??? My. Heart.

Steven looking at himself in the mirror in a jacket and tie and calling himself a knob is going to give me LIFE for an entire week.

And the way my heart broke when he found out it was two days later and he missed his date?? Poor sweet baby angel. I’ll eat a sympathy steak with you.

“No, not personally.” Made me bark laugh each time. The clever little bits of wordplay in the script are delightful. And also charming.

I love how they used mirrors. Actually the episode was really beautiful in general, the cinematography is wonderful. It’s such a pretty show. The whole sequence at the ended with the museum and the evil-Egyptian-death-dog chase was wonderful. 

One of the things I was most excited to see from the series was the way Marc and Steven interact. I wasn’t expecting it to hit like this, this early. And I know there’s so much more coming, and I can’t wait to meet Mr. Knight, and and and. And who was the Duchamp in the middle of all the missed Layla calls? Has to mean something, otherwise why stop there for a second and let us see it? I also really want to meet Layla.

UGH CAN IT BE NEXT WEEK SO WE CAN HAVE EPISODE TWO??

p.s. I know it’s not the context at all but the way Marc says “Look at me” to Steven in the bathroom? Um. Hngh. Yes. Yes sir.

[retrievablememories]

matched | ten (m)

title: matched pairing: alien!ten x black!reader genre: sci-fi, angst, fluff, romance, smut summary: the quest for love leads you to a new dating app with a slight twist—and straight into the inbox of someone who’s light-years out of your usual dating pool. word count: 9.7k warnings: familial conflict, strained parental relationship, mentions of cheating, prejudice/discrimination based on species, body modifications/alien biology, unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), dom!ten, photography during sex, cumshot, squirting, some spanking a/n: as always, i lose all impulse control whenever i get a ten request so i have finished this sooner than i expected

i decided to lean more into the romance plotline than stress too much over the realism of the science-fiction elements with this fic, so there are some inaccuracies/impossibilities...but that’s fiction for you 🙃

AM 2074 (After Migration)

You are lonely.

Your last breakup did not end well, to say the least, and you haven’t dated for a while since then. It seemed like a smart move—a safe one—to shun all romantic relationships until you felt ready again. At the beginning, you were glad to be alone for a while, to regroup and rediscover yourself worrying about another person’s opinions on everything you did. To not have to deal with someone else’s drama.

The toll of not having companionship is gradually getting to you, though. Even if your last relationship was a mess more often than it wasn’t, you still long for those good moments, like going on night dates on the weekends and sharing pillowtalk into long hours of the early morning. You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed those things until all the emotions of it crashed down on you at once.

Your friend Malika claims to have a solution for your loneliness. Now, sitting at this outdoor cafe, you’re simultaneously eager and hesitant to hear what she has to propose, knowing her track record for silly plots.

With twinkling eyes, she looks at you and says, “You should try a dating app.” She clasps her hands together and puts them on the table like she’s made a grand announcement. You absorb her words for a few moments, looking out at the street across from you and watching cars—some hovering above the asphalt, some driven autonomously, and many still with human drivers—pass by.

You eventually sigh, your shoulders slumping. “That’s the big solution you called me out here for? People have been using dating apps for decades, that’s nothing new.”

“Exactly! The fact that they’re still popular even in 2074 is proof that they work, Y/N. You can put yourself out there and talk to dozens of guys without even meeting them in person. If one connection doesn’t work out, you don’t have anything to lose, and you don’t have to see the guy ever again.”

“Maybe I’ll lose my sweet time and patience during the process, though.”

Malika shakes her head and types something into her hologram pad, then holds it up for you to see. The hologram displays a dating app called matched—it reminds you of what Tinder was supposedly like before it became eclipsed by more advanced platforms, though that happened years before you were even born. “This one is kinda new, but it’s gotten popular fast and has good success rates. I’ve tried it before and met some nice guys. Give it at least one chance before you hate on it.”

“Ugh, I don’t know...there are always so many weirdos hanging out on those apps. What if I meet someone who keeps a collection of severed alien tentacles in an icebox in their house? Like that one guy who showed up on the news?”

“...Really?” Malika rolls her eyes. “You’re so dramatic. Stop getting in your own way and just take a risk for once.”

You shake your head at her optimism. “I’ll do it because I know you won’t leave me alone about it, but don’t expect me to find some great love story on this app.”

--

Once you download the app and start making an account, it becomes pretty obvious that this isn’t just a regular dating platform.

Choosing your gender and age preferences is normal enough, and you pass through those screens quickly until you get to one that gives you two new options.

➤ Species Preference ❐ Human ❐ Extraterrestrial

Whoa. Aliens? An alien-friendly dating app?

You weren’t overly familiar with the mechanics of dating apps, and you certainly didn’t consider that ones allowing aliens might’ve existed until now. It had been 15 years since the first contact with aliens was established, and a little less than a decade had passed since aliens began migrating to Earth and taking up permanent residence—and vice versa.

Humans had little problem with accepting aliens’ technological adaptations and claiming them as their own, though they were far less welcoming of the aliens themselves. That resulted in strained interactions between the two species, with aliens trying their best to assimilate and humans questioning their every motive. As far as personal relationships went, interspecies mingling between humans and extraterrestrials was still fairly uncommon—something that only people who were considered to be on the fringes of society participated in. There were “normal citizens of society” who built relationships with aliens, but many of them also kept it solely as a kink or fetish to be done only in the dark.

You decide to check both options. It feels a little scary, like diving headfirst into the unknown, but you are open to it either way. You’ve interacted with aliens before, both as kind acquaintances and near strangers, and they’ve always been relatively normal in the grand scheme of things—beings trying to survive and make a life for themselves like anyone else. Certainly not plotting how to take over Earth as many people have speculated. If they really wanted to, they possess the technology to have done that ten times over already.

You take a while trying to come up with a clever bio and spend an even longer time mulling over which pictures of yourself to choose, but you eventually complete your profile.

The first few matches you make are not very successful.

Whether it’s human guys feeding you terrible pickup lines or alien guys who can’t make it past the language barrier—or who ask you to move back with them to their home planet after two days of talking—you don’t see any potential love interests during your first two weeks of using the app. 

You’re not sure what kind of skills Malika used to make multiple good matches, but maybe you need to interrogate her so you can sharpen your own. So you decide to do exactly that.

“Don’t give up on it just yet. Just be yourself—which also means not being afraid to cuss someone out if they come at you crazy. Some of these dudes lowkey like the mean girl shit, though, which is kinda weird.” Malika speaks from the shimmering translucent mirage of your hologram pad as you walk through the park one afternoon. She couldn’t make it out to meet you today, but you managed to snatch a moment to talk to her even if it couldn’t be face-to-face. “You probably shouldn’t expect to find a boyfriend in the first few days—”

“Girl, I don't think anyone was expecting that. Duh.”

“I’m saying, just give it time!”

“Okay, but listen. You didn’t tell me it’s also for aliens. Have you dated one before? You never told me!” You lower your voice then, not wanting anyone nearby to eavesdrop on your conversation and hear that part. You feel kinda bad for even thinking that way, but it’s hard to shake the stigma associated with interacting with aliens.

“Yes, and it was the best sex I ever had, but maybe I’ll tell you about that later.”

“Sis. Don’t withhold tea from me!”

“Someday when you’re not literally standing in the middle of the park, okay?” Malika shakes her head, smiling.

“Don’t forget about it, either.”

“I won’t. And you know what to do if you find a guy. I want to be the first to know!”

“Sure, sure. I wouldn’t hold my breath on it, though.”

You decide to spend some more time on the app after that conversation instead of just deleting it like you’d planned to initially. And one day, you get another new match that catches your eye out of the many others.

“Ten? Like the number…?” Besides the interesting name, you immediately see that he’s an extraterrestrial. From the Sommu race, as it says in his bio.

You click on his profile.

You’re a little surprised by how pretty he is, which isn’t to say the other aliens you matched with were all hideous. But he doesn’t have tentacles coming out of his face or two sets of eyes, either. The most noticeable thing about his alienness is his blue skin.

“Likes...dancing, art, music, okay so we have an artist type here...dislikes...fruit. Huh. That’s...interesting.”

The pictures of him on his profile are all deliberately artistic, as in they aren’t just some half-baked selfies he took with a hologram pad. You grow increasingly curious. It’s safe to say he’s either super into himself or just appreciates the art of good photography, and you figure there’s only one way to find out. You decide to take the first step and message him.

➤ Nice pictures :) 

You don’t know when or if you’ll get a message back, since he’s not online when you send it, so you try not to get your hopes up too much. Maybe you should’ve tried to come up with something more cool and funny—nice pictures?—but you try to remember Malika’s advice and roll your eyes to yourself. There’s no point in getting stressed over a dude you don’t even know yet.

You eventually get a reply back from Ten.

➤ thank you 🙏 are you into photography too? you have talent for taking beautiful photos 

You giggle quietly to yourself; another line, but it’s definitely one of the tamer ones you’ve received. Why not see where this one goes?

The first conversation you have consists mostly of the regular getting-to-know-you talk, such as your personal interests and favorite things. You get him to talk more about his photography hobby, which he’s eager to tell you all about—as well as his penchant for art.

To your optimism, you and Ten quickly get comfortable with each other. You soon forget about all the other potential matches you have, but those don't matter much to you anymore. So far, you’ve connected the most successfully with Ten, which means you’re more than glad to stop spending your time reading boring messages from guys who’ve only pretended to have things in common with you.

Things go so well, in fact, that he asks you to meet in person not long after you begin talking to each other.

For your first meetup, you decide to meet at a park nearby—the same one you’d been walking through the day you were talking to Malika about that very dating app. You and Ten have talked through the hologram pad on multiple occasions, so you’re more reassured that you’re not starting from scratch with some faceless being. Still, the thrill of seeing each other in person for the first time is undeniable.

“Y/N?” You turn your head at the sound of your name, and you see Ten walking towards you.

“Ten!” You give him a smile, waving at him. You feel a little more nervous than you usually would on a date, though you can’t tell if it’s the good kind of nervousness. You mostly chalk it up to not having been out with anyone in a while.

Ten’s just as pretty up close as he was in the photos and on camera, if not even more attractive; he’s breathtaking in the light of the sun. His hair is styled nicely, meticulously-place strands curling over his forehead, and his clothes perfectly outline his slim body. He looks pleased to see you, his lips curving into a coy smile.

“You could’ve given me a warning,” he says as he outstretches his arms to you. You hug him, but not without a questioning glance on your face. He is warm and smells good, like juniper, which almost makes you forget about your question.

“Warned you about what?”

“How you’re even more beautiful in person.” He says this at your ear before pulling away, and it makes the back of your neck bloom with heat.

“Oh, you’re laying it on thick.” You giggle nervously, shifting on your feet.

“Are you ready to go?” he asks.

“Yes, let’s go!”

You leave the park to go to an aquarium nearby, which is the biggest one in the city. You find out quickly that Ten is easily fascinated by the wide range of creatures there. Despite living on Earth for a few years now, he hasn’t seen a lot of them until now.

You walk through the blue-lit hallways together, surrounded by water everywhere you turn. You observe the different animals up close and from far away, reading information about them from the signs beside their tanks.

“What the hell is that?” Ten says through laughter, looking at the squished-up mouth of a stingray as it floats in front of the glass, baring its pale underside to you both.

“It’s a stingray!”

He scrunches his nose up. “It’s ugly. But kinda cute, too…”

You both end up staying at the aquarium longer than you expected, with Ten wanting to see practically every animal they had on display; plus, you got to see some you weren’t familiar with before either.

After visiting the aquarium, you go downtown—which is otherwise known as food truck central, where you can get pretty much anything you’re craving. This area is always quite busy this time of evening, especially on the weekends. Food in hand, you and Ten end up walking through a few of the quieter back streets where there’s not as many people—streets where the closely-packed buildings give way to the grassy yards and paved roads of nearby neighborhoods.

“Should we talk about our families now, or is it too soon?” you say jokingly. “You know, that seems to be the only thing we haven’t mentioned after talking about everything else under the sun.” You’re not entirely sure why you bring this up while knowing your own relationship with your parents isn’t great, but you are curious to hear about Ten’s family.

“I don’t really know mine,” he replies.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You feel a little bad about it, thinking there was definitely a reason why he never mentioned the topic.

Ten looks confused for a moment before shaking his head. “No, it’s not like that. Sommu never form close bonds with their parents or siblings.”

You give him a curious look. “Why not?”

“Well, we aren’t born or raised the human way,” he explains. “Our parents have a bunch of us at once, raise us for the first couple of years, and then go off to reproduce again and continue the population.”

You’re startled at that. “Just for a few years? How do you survive?”

“We age faster...both physically and mentally. We become independent around 4 or 5 years old, and we can live without our parents.”

“That’s...definitely very different.” You try to wrap your mind around that information, though it’s difficult. Even with your not-so-healthy relationship with your parents, you couldn’t imagine having no family whatsoever at such a young age. You also can’t even begin to comprehend what it’d look like to be taking care of yourself at only 5 years old, fast aging or not. “But, you said a bunch at once...how is that possible?”

“We are formed inside things like eggs. It’s not like your form of childbirth. See?” And you become flustered when he lifts his shirt up to show his lack of a belly button, right there in the middle of the street.

“Uh, wow.”

“The human concepts of ‘family’ and ‘relationships’ are...very new to me.” He seems a little embarrassed to admit this. “That’s why I, um, joined a dating app, for more experience...I was told I need to learn to be more…” He searches for the word. “Im...pertinent?”

“...Empathetic?”

“Yeah, that.”

“So, did that come from a previous partner, or…?”

“Yeah, I’ve had two relationships since I’ve been here.” He seems wistful now, maybe a little sad. “They didn’t work out well. Maybe we were too different.” Before the mood can shift too far into negativity, Ten turns to you with a soft smile. “But maybe that’s not the kind of thing you want to hear while we’re on a date.”

You shake your head and smile. “I don’t mind, it’s interesting to know about.” More than interesting. You want to ask him a hundred more things about what his life was like when he first got to Earth. “Anyway, you can never have too many new starts in life. Let’s enjoy this one.”

--

At the end of your date, Ten walks with you back to your place. It’s almost midnight at this point, with you both walking all the way back from downtown. You’d drawn more than a few skeptical stares over the course of the day, but you both did your best to ignore those and just focus on each other.

“I’m really glad we got to go out today, it was fun,” you say, hugging your arms to yourself to shield against the cool spring breeze.

“I think I haven’t had that much fun in a while,” he agrees. Ten smiles wide then, the tip of his tongue sticking out from between his teeth, and you have to do a double take. 

“What—”

“Oh, that. Sometimes I forget everyone doesn’t have this...” And when he sticks his tongue out, you see clearly now that it’s split halfway down the middle. Sort of like how a snake’s would be. “D’you like it?” His expression is wicked when he asks this, and a strange heat sweeps through your body.

“Wow.” You cringe at your lackluster answer, but that’s the only thing you can muster up at the moment, too busy internally questioning yourself. You’ve seen body modders with split tongues in documentaries and on the internet, but it’s never appealed to you like this before, and you don’t know what to do with that new realization.

“It’s okay, it takes some getting used to.” He gives you a smile that might be called innocent by anyone else, but to your eyes it’s quite obvious he’s proud about making you flustered.

“Getting used to...yeah, I’m sure.” There are about 15 different questions you want to ask him about that, too, but you aren’t going there on the first date.

“So...can I expect to see you again?”

“Of course.” You smile again at the hopeful note in his tone. “Just let me know whenever you want to go out again.”

Before Ten leaves, he places a hand on your shoulder and kisses you on the cheek. It’s a simple and short kiss, but it still makes you blush beneath your brown skin.

You wave goodbye to him from your doorstep as he goes, feeling like you’ve finally done something right for the first time in a long time.

You’d taken a chance with dating an extraterrestrial, someone so different from yourself and your species, and you figured it would be a new experience. Obviously. What you did not bet on, however, was the idea that you’d fall for Ten so fast.

After three months of dating exclusively, you feel like you could say you love him, which is frighteningly quick for you; though you don’t tell him this yet.

You’ve decided to bring him to meet your family. The idea frightens you, because your parents have never been very receptive to the aliens’ migration. But you are still holding out some hope that maybe they’ll realize all their assumptions were wrong, and that you’ve found a nice man who you love and who you’re sure loves you just as much. Whether he’s human or not shouldn’t matter.

You manage to set a date when all your schedules match up so you can bring Ten over to your parent’s house. Ten is nervous—more nervous than he was when you went on your first date—which you find a little surprising. You’ve gotten used to him being the one who you can lean on, who always seems to know the right answer.

“Do you think it will go well?” he asks, his tone implying he’s not confident of the answer.

“I hope so.” You give him a smile that you hope is reassuring and squeeze his hand.

When your parents open the door, there’s visible surprise on their faces. You’d already told them your boyfriend was not human, which drew doubtful responses when you first said it, but they’re acting as if they never knew that information—as if this is the first time they’re seeing an alien, period.

“Um…hi, mom, dad.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Ten says, though his own tone is overly formal, like he doesn’t know how he should speak. “I’m Ten.”

Your parents pause for a few moments longer. Finally, the awkward quiet is broken. “We thought you were just messing,” your dad says, though he steps out of the way to let you both come in, if a bit reluctantly.

“I—no.” You’re uncertain how to respond to that, though you don’t feel optimistic about what it entails. Your mother doesn’t say anything at all, just stares at you and Ten like you’re both strangers who’ve just waltzed in uninvited. She goes back in the kitchen to finish dinner once the door is closed, not saying anything to either one of you, and you already feel a cold pit settling in the bottom of your stomach.

Your dad sits in the living room with you and Ten, and another awkward silence ensues as your dad gives a stiff smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He clasps his fingers together and pulls them apart repeatedly, like they’ll give him the answers for what’s going on.

“This is just a fling, right? Of course you won’t be staying with this ma—” Your dad almost says man but then stutters, thinking maybe the term isn’t appropriate since Ten isn’t human. He makes a vague gesture to fill in the space of the missing word.

“It’s not a fling,” you say, feeling like you’ve had cold water poured down your back. You’re sitting straight and still on the couch, and it’s not comfortable, but you’re too tense to move. Ten is almost equally stiff beside you.

“Y/N, we just want you to make good decisions for yourself.” That’s what your dad says out loud, though the look in his eyes finishes the rest of that sentence: And I don’t think this is a good decision.

“I am,” you insist. “I don’t need to be told that over and over again.”

“Me and Y/N are happy together,” Ten explains, and your dad seems a little shocked that he’s decided to speak.

“Do you truly think you’re what she needs?” your dad asks. You’re not sure what makes you more angry; the question itself, or the fact that he keeps his tone non-accusatory and light, as if he’s only asking something like where do you work? Like the answer doesn’t matter because he’s already made up his mind.

“As long as Y/N wants to keep seeing me, there’s no reason to stop our relationship.”

A sound of displeasure comes from your mother in the kitchen, and your skin prickles. Your dad nods to Ten’s answer, but he does so in a way that conveys he just wants this conversation to be over rather than consider anything that was said.

You deeply regret not leaving straight after that failed discussion, but you soon find out just how bad it can get once you all make it to the dinner table. Your mother is chillingly silent for the first half of the dinner, acting like neither you nor Ten exist, while your dad attempts to make awkward small talk about how things are going.

There comes a point where you can no longer handle the cold sweat and the nerves, and you put your utensils down. Not that you had much of an appetite anyway.

“Why won’t you even talk to me?”

Your mother glares. “You can’t guess? What kind of question is that to ask?”

You falter. You don’t know why she always does this to you. Ask ridiculous rhetorical questions that you both already know the answer to. Now you must sit here and explain why you asked like it isn’t already obvious.

“I’m visiting after I haven’t been here in a while. With my boyfriend. I thought...I don’t know. The least you could do—” Your mother shakes her head at the word “boyfriend,” and you already know everything else you said went in one ear and out the other.

“I still don’t know why you didn’t just stay with Christian?” she interrupts. “He had a decent job, came to see us often, and was NOT an alien.”

“But he cheated on me,” you say, a sickness rising in you.

“That’s what men do sometimes, Y/N. You deal with it and move on. You’re supposed to be strong—fix whatever is making him do it.”

You and Ten exchange a tense look, and there is clear confusion whirling in his eyes, but you don’t say anything to each other. “That relationship is over. I’m trying to do something for myself for once, not whatever you think I should do.” Even saying those words makes you internally recoil, unsure of what the reaction will be, but you don’t take them back.

“You may be an adult but we’re still your parents. Frankly, you need to be with a man of your own race and species—not this blue Martian here. How would you even have kids?”

Ten gives a humorless laugh, like he wants to respond but doesn’t want to make the situation worse or offend you. “You know what, I should just leave,” he says abruptly, rising from his seat.

You get up quickly after he does, but your mom slams her hand on the table. “Y/N, you better not walk out of here.”

You feel defeated and exhausted, like you always do when dealing with your parents and their objections to every single thing you do, but you decide not to give in this time. “Stop treating me like I’m still a child, ma.”

“What does being an adult matter when you still act childish? Don’t come back here crying when this doesn’t work out. I’ve already warned you more than enough.”

“That isn’t going to happen.” 

“So now you think you know better than me, when you couldn’t even keep a man the first time around.”

“This is hopeless,” you sigh, feeling wounded and angry at all these cheap shots.

“Y/N, please just listen to your mother for once…” your dad interjects, but you try your best to ignore their protests as you grab your things and follow Ten to the door. You can still hear your mother’s angry complaints as you close the front door behind you, though you’re surprised—but grateful—that neither of them attempt to follow you outside.

The ride back home is uncomfortable and mostly quiet.

“I’m sorry, Ten,” you say, feeling like you’ve been frozen from the inside out despite it being nearly summer. You’re near tears when you speak. Ten shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.

“It’s not your fault…” he replies weakly, though his words aren’t very persuasive to either of you.

He still walks you up to your door when you arrive back at your place, trailing slightly behind you. The night air is distractingly humid, wrapping around the both of you like a physical thing. Neither of you know what to say to each other.

When you get to your front door, you turn to look at him. “I shouldn’t have made you come. I should’ve known...” 

“I wanted to come,” he points out. “You didn’t make me do anything.” Ten’s tone isn’t outright harsh, but the words are noticeably sharp. Maybe he realizes it, because his face softens as if he’s said something wrong.

You nod. It’s as if there’s a mountainous gap between you two that you just can’t cross right now. “I get it.” You say this almost mindlessly, because you’re not sure what you’re getting, exactly. Your hand rests on the doorknob. You don’t want to end the night on this awkward and painful note, but neither of you are making any progress with this lack of a real conversation. Maybe now isn’t the right time to try to talk about it.

“I think...I’ll just go home tonight.” You expected he’d say that, but the words still make your heart hurt, even if you don’t want them to. He looks like he might say something else, but he just gives you a small nod before starting off.

“Ten…” You don’t know what you want to ask of him or tell him, if anything, but his name slips from your lips like it’s something you can’t keep inside.

Ten stops for a moment and turns back to you. He steps closer again, leaning forward to give you a soft kiss on the lips. When he pulls back, his eyes hold you in place.

He mumbles, “I’m not mad at you,” before leaving.

More than anything, you want to know how Ten is doing, but you’re too ashamed to contact him for the first couple days after that mess of a night. Maybe he thinks you’re just like your parents and doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. His reassurance at the door wasn’t enough to soothe your worries, and you end up tearing yourself up internally over it—repeatedly recalling the warmth of his lips and wondering if that’s maybe the last time you’ll ever feel it.

Similarly, nothing but radio silence comes from his end. He doesn’t respond even after you finally muster up the nerve to send him a text—a short text, but still a message all the same—and you fear he must really be done with you.

On Ten’s part, he does have one justification for it; he’s preoccupied with dealing with the avalanche of unpleasant memories and emotions that incident resurfaced. Everything about what your parents said and how they looked at him reminds him of his past and ongoing struggles with trying to assimilate on Earth.

Even though he’s often very sure of himself and what he wants, he begins wondering if he’s “enough” for you. Maybe you’ve just been humoring him this whole time, or you’ve decided your parents are right and you’d be better off with another human. 

Those thoughts keep him up into the early morning hours, and he soon realizes he doesn’t want to let you go. In fact, he’s not sure what he’d do with himself if you decided to walk out of his life right now, and the idea of it makes him ill. Which makes him feel even more foolish for tuning you out.

Ten’s anxiety over losing you culminates in him standing on your doorstep again after almost a week of emptiness and not knowing how you were thinking or feeling—which has been killing him in its own way.

You’re not quite sure how to feel when you open the door and see him on the other side, but relief shoulders its way to the forefront.

“Y/N, I’m sorry—”

“Can you please—”

You both speak at the same time, your words breaking afterwards. 

“You can talk first,” Ten says.

“Come in.” You let him in the door, and the words start spilling before you know how to stop them. “Ten, I-I’m...really sorry. I should’ve known better than to put you in that situation, but I thought…” Your words trail off. You don’t want to let him know just how desperate you still are for your parents’ approval sometimes. Even though it’s a fruitless case. “I just wanted it to go well. I want things to work now, for us. I really, really want things to work for us.”

Ten surprises himself with how quickly he moves to take you in his arms before the last words have even finished settling in his mind. He hugs you tightly. “I thought maybe you wouldn’t want me anymore,” he whispers, like he’s telling you something forbidden.

“That couldn’t happen.” You’re saddened he’d come to that conclusion. “But...it’s not fair for you to leave me in the dark, either. I want to help you...so would you please let me?”

Ten squeezes you a bit tighter, as if you might disappear from his arms. “I’m sorry I ghosted you...it brought back bad memories of how things were when I first got here. When people were more open about treating me like some kind of enemy. I didn’t know how to deal with it.” You tuck your chin into his shoulder and listen to his breathing, his heartbeat, the sound of his words. “Y/N, I’m not sure if I’m very good at love, or if I even know enough about it. Maybe the others were right and I’m kidding myself with something I’ll never properly learn. But, I…” His voice cracks. “I-I think I love you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Entirely overwhelmed, you answer his admission with a long kiss, cupping his face in your hands. His response to your kiss is automatic, the knots of tension unraveling in your embrace.

“I love you, Ten,” you whisper against his lips after you separate. Here and now, it doesn’t feel too soon at all; there couldn’t be a better time to say it. His expression is a lot of things at once. Relief, happiness, contentment...he’s blushing, but it shows up as a darker blue on his already blue skin. When he smiles, it turns his whole face into a picture of joy.

--

“I want to go away.” Quietly, you tell him this as you rest your head in his lap.

You’re both lying on your couch, the room dim and the sound of rain occupying the silence. A downpour started coming down soon after Ten got to your place. You’ve sat there just like that and listened to the rain on the windows for the past couple hours, not wanting to do anything else or separate from each other. You knew he wouldn’t want to go home, and you didn’t even have to ask him to stay.

Ten’s been petting your hair the whole time. The motion of his fingers in your kinky strands makes you sleepy, but now the movements pause at your words.

“Go where?” he asks.

“Away from all this. My parents hate me, and they won’t let me have any peace as long as I’m with you. I just want to go away for a while.” Despite you overflowing with love after finally getting your feelings out in the open, the thought of your parents’ disapproval has lingered steadily in the recesses of your mind. You close your eyes against the tears that begin to well up. Ten’s quiet for a few more moments, and then begins stroking your head again.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

A few tears fall despite you trying to keep them in, and your eyelids flutter when you feel Ten’s fingers on your face, wiping them away. “Then we’ll go away.”

Ten’s homeland is a planet where the sun—or rather, a star called Proxima Centauri that’s much like the sun—is always out, no matter what time of day it is. There are days where it rains or gets cloudy, but night never falls and the star never dips any lower in the sky, always staying pinned in that same spot like a tack on a corkboard. That everlasting light throws your body clock off, and combined with this weird new form of jet lag associated with space travel, you are a mess for the first week or so after your arrival.

Ten makes a few jokes about fragile human bodies, but for the most part he tends to you as best as he knows how and tells you stories about how he grew up to get your mind off the discomfort. He feeds you these neon green drinks that don’t look like anything on Earth you’ve had before, and although they do make you feel better, you begin to think maybe you should’ve had a wellness plan before running off-planet.

You aren’t the only human who’s ever visited or even lived there, though, which gives you reassurance about adjusting to everything. By now, there’s a small population of human beings living here due to the interplanetary exchange initiated by Earth.

Before you left, Ten told you he had a small home in his homeland. You didn’t quite expect to hear this, since he’d been on Earth for a while now and had no family to return to. Though he’d migrated, he still expected to come back to his planet every so often, if only to visit. Now was as good a time as any.

Although many differences exist, the scenery is much like Earth’s; there are ecosystems with plants and animals and other living beings—like the Sommu themselves. Ten’s homeland is not filled with wall-to-wall technology like you’d expect an alien city to be, based on the small examples you’ve seen on Earth. You might compare it to the tropics back on Earth, with the Sommu yielding to nature’s rightful place in their ecosystem instead of clearing out whole forests or continually mining for resources. Ten is amused by your struggle to comprehend the newness and unfamiliarity of it all.

When you feel good enough to explore, he starts taking you to the beach often. It looks mostly like any other beach, but there are large coral forms that grow out of the ocean, reaching up towards the impossibly blue and constantly illuminated sky. Because there is no moon to guide the tides, the water is eerily still, the surface mirror-like—like a huge lake or pond that extends in almost every direction for miles. You’d almost believe it was a mirror if you hadn’t seen a bird-like creature skimming across the surface as it flew by, creating fleeting ripples.

You swim around a little in the still waters after Ten convinces you that you aren’t going to turn into a fish or something equally scary. He has to hold both your hands the entire time to get you to step in, and he doesn’t let go until you’re confident enough to explore the water on your own.

“Just focus on me, okay?” His smile is bright and shining against his blue skin, and he looks you directly in the eyes as he backs into the water, breaking the surreal stillness of it with his movements. “It’s just like the water on Earth.”

“Okay, okay,” you say uncertainly, gripping his hands and stepping in tentatively. The water does feel like any other water you’ve touched throughout your life, which helps you calm down slightly. His hands stay tight around yours as you get waist-deep into the water.

When you’re finally able to let go of him, he claps his hands more enthusiastically than the situation probably calls for. “Yay, you’re a big girl now!”

You roll your eyes at him. “You’re not funny, Ten.”

--

On a bright afternoon, Ten lets you into a room of his house you haven’t entered before. You’ve passed by this shining white door several times, but it’s always remained firmly shut until now.

“What’s in here?” you ask as you hold his hand.

“That’s what I’m going to show you.” He laughs and pushes the door open.

You think it’s a darkroom at first, seeing nothing but dim light and the shiny surfaces of what looks like photographs as your eyes adjust. But when he touches his hand to a panel on the wall and the lights come on, you realize it’s not a darkroom. More like a small gallery for all his pictures.

The “pictures” are physical, but they aren’t like the old Polaroids or film photos that have begun fading out of existence on Earth. They’re small crystalline squares that play eternally-moving videos on their glossy surfaces—a bit different from the translucent holograms Earth adopted. You step further into the room to look at them. It’d probably take days to explore them all, there are so many. Different scenes play out as soundless movies, and when you look for long enough, you realize they’re split into different categories. Numerous events within a life.

Many are of the beach, other scenic places around his homeland, oddly-shaped buildings, and plants in colors that there are no names on Earth for. You step closer to one of the walls to look at the collection of images more closely. You actually do “recognize” a select few, linking them together with old memories Ten had shared with you only weeks ago. There’s so much happening in these small snippets of time, so many stories you haven’t yet heard, that you feel like you could look at them forever and not get enough.

“This is...something else.” Your words seem inadequate, but you don’t quite know how to express your sheer wonder.

“I could take some of you,” Ten suggests, from somewhere behind you. “I want to.”

You glance back at him. “Hm, yeah.”

“I’m serious.” Ten comes up behind you to clasp his arms around your waist. He tucks his chin into your shoulder. His lips are close at your neck, and you let them linger there. One of your hands goes to his own hand that’s over your waist, and you run your fingertips over his knuckles as you gaze at the photo wall before you. “I think you’d be the perfect muse.”

“You could do that.” You’re still entranced with it all, and you already know you’ve made up your mind to let him take as many photos of you as he wants.

--

The next time you go to the beach, Ten takes some photos of you standing near the huge coral forms—or at least as close as you are willing to get—and he laughs at your lingering hesitation.

Still, the crystalline photos he takes of you are the embodiment of perfection. When you look over them later, watching yourself twirl around and strike silly poses in the water, you can almost hear the sound of your laughter twining together and feel the warmth of a star that’s not the sun on your skin.

“What if we stayed here?”

You ask Ten this while you’re lying in his bed, watching a kaleidoscope of shapes on the ceiling. The bedroom window is open to allow the breeze to come in. The ceiling of the bedroom—and every other room in the house—is more like an ever-changing reflection of shapes and colors than an actual ceiling. You might compare it to a mirror, like the surface of the ocean, but you think it’s much more complex than that. Sometimes you can see the distorted outline of yourself in it, like a funhouse mirror. Other times, you see the sky above.

Ten lies beside you with one hand behind his head and the other resting on his stomach, and he turns his head to look at you.

“Stayed?”

“If we just decided not to...go back to Earth.”

He pauses for a few moments. “Is that a good idea? You have a whole life there...and your friends…” Ten doesn’t mention your family, which you are grateful for.

You sigh. Nothing like a quick injection of reality after letting your imagination get ahead of you. “We’d have to go back. I’d have to tell them goodbye. And sort some other things out. Maybe it wouldn’t happen right now. But, after I do everything I need to do on Earth...maybe I could migrate here.”

“That’s a big decision to make...and it should be yours to decide.” Ten pauses again, like he’s weighing his words. “You know I don’t have many connections on Earth…” In other words, leaving Earth and returning home for good might not be as big of a deal for him as it would be for you.

You sit up and look out the window, seeing how the warm wind stirs the trees outside. “I want to.” You say it almost inaudibly, your words nearly carried off by the breeze. You turn back to him only to find him already there, sitting across from you and looking at you closely. Your faces are only inches from each other’s as he searches your eyes. “What do you want to do?”

“I’ll do anything you want to.” Ten’s voice is earnest, like he’d follow you to Hell and back if you asked, and you believe him.

Resting your hand on his cheek, you kiss him.

This kiss is a little different from the ones you’ve shared before—more yearning. More desperate. You kiss like there won’t be enough time to do all the things you want to do with each other—to each other. His split tongue bumps against yours, caresses it, and it causes a shiver to go down your spine, like it always does.

You end up lying back on the bed again with Ten’s body crowding yours in, legs tangling together and hips pressing against one another’s. Neither of you have made a move to take the other’s clothes off yet, but then he separates from your lips for a long moment and studies your features, from your eyebrows down to your mouth.

“Touch yourself for me.”

Your mouth drops open slightly.

“I want to see it.” He takes one of your hands and guides it up under your skirt and between your legs, pressing your fingers against your sex through your underwear, and you look at him with wide eyes, taking a deep breath. He lets go of your hand, and you keep yours right where it is. You’re slightly nervous about his black gaze trained on you, unrelenting and prying, but you begin to move your hand anyway. 

Over your underwear, you press your finger between your lower lips, sliding between them and over your clit, and a little tremor goes through your body. You find yourself getting wet more quickly than you normally would with Ten watching you as you tease your entrance. You breathe a little heavier but make no sound yet. One of Ten’s hands reaches out for your ankle, though he doesn’t do anything other than keep his fingers there, a light touch that keeps passing back and forth over your ankle bone.

You circle your fingers across your clit more insistently, your legs tensing as the pleasure mounts higher. Ten’s lips part as he watches you, a heavy breath escaping from his chest. The hand on your ankle slides higher up your leg, just below your thigh, like he wants to slide his fingers into the mix and take over, but he doesn’t make a move to do so just yet.

Finally, Ten reaches under your skirt to pull your sticky panties off, sliding them slowly down your legs and leaving them somewhere on the floor. You want him to touch you again, the brush of his hands against your hips not enough, but he doesn’t grant your desire. “Keep going,” he says, leaning back on his hands, and you can see he’s growing hard.

You bring your hand back to its original place between your thighs, sliding through the wetness more easily and shuddering when your fingertips graze over your clit. You slide a finger into yourself then. A small moan slips out, and you close your eyes, but Ten’s fingers pinch your chin—not enough to hurt, but the sudden touch makes you look at him. “Keep your eyes open.” His thumb presses into your lower lip, and he stares at your mouth for a moment like he’s imagining sliding something hard and hot between your lips.

Ten kisses you on the lips again, and this time he trails the kisses down your body until he’s gripping your thighs on either side of his face. You pause in your movements when he reaches the junction of your thighs, and you watch as he grabs your hand and slips your finger out of yourself. He sucks the slick digit into his mouth, and you cannot tear your eyes away from him.

He lets your hand go and pulls you a few inches closer to his face, dragging you across the bed, and you can barely get your bearings back to sit up again when he slips his tongue through your lower lips. You moan, and he responds to that by repeating it again, catching your clit between the split in his tongue, and wiggling both sides.

“Oh Jesus...oh fuck.” Your hands go to Ten’s hair, pulling on it as you push your hips closer to his mouth, your back curving up. He is alluring tucked between your thighs like this, teasing and sucking your clit with his split tongue and prodding his fingers at your hole until he chooses to slide two of them inside.

His free hand keeps you close against his face as he eats you out, that wondrous tongue sliding against the most sensitive part of your body and making you gasp with boundless pleasure. Little droplets of moisture bead at the corners of your eyes from how good it feels, your stomach tensing and releasing as you try your best to keep still.

He has to keep his grip on your body tight when you come, as you try to squirm away from his tongue because of how stimulated you are. He only lets you go after he’s satisfied himself with licking up all the wet that’s spilled from you.

Then he strips your skirt off for you, because he knows you’re not quite in a state to do it for yourself right now. He peels the rest of your clothes off similarly, which doesn’t take much time or effort to do; you’ve dressed lightly for the weather.

Ten looks at you lying beneath him on the bed, his gaze stuck somewhere between awe and lust. 

He slips out of his own clothes with a certain practiced ease. Yes, he’s really blue everywhere. He looks mostly human-like everywhere, too, except for the lack of a belly button. 

Ten kisses you deeply as he slips into you, and you clutch at his sides. He tries to keep his pace slow at first, maybe for your sake or to just savor how it feels, but he gives into the feeling of you squeezing around him and starts thrusting into you faster. There is already sweat sliding down to his jaw, though you think it might be because of the heat, too.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” comes out of you in a voice you hardly recognize as your own.

His pelvis sliding against your clit from the proximity of your bodies makes you curl your fingers into the strands of his hair, wanting to touch every part of him you can. His lips go to the sweat-slicked skin of your shoulder, leaving little wet kisses behind as he wraps an arm around your waist and simply fucks into you, his shaft dragging against your walls.

He eventually separates himself from your neck, though it comes with some effort, to gaze at your face again. However, he finds that your eyes have drifted shut.

“Do you wanna come?” Ten asks, softly, gently, like you might break apart if he speaks too loud.

You’re a little winded from how he’s thrusting into you and can’t yet see the motive behind this question—because of course you do—but you answer with a shaky “I-I want to.”

“Then don’t look away from me.” His voice becomes harsher on these words.

“I…” Your lips move without any real words behind them as he thrusts into you harder, sinking all the way into you before pulling out to the tip. You want do what he’s just told you, but you find it difficult with the way he’s intent on burying himself into you, his eyes piercing into your own. “Mmm, I-I…”

You don’t know if you can, but the way he’s kindling your rising heat with each thrust makes you want to try very, very hard. Ten keep his hands on the sides of your face so you cannot look anywhere but at him.

The pleasure bears down on you more with each second, and you try to keep your breathing steady as another climax approaches.

“You’re almost there, come on baby,” he coaxes you, sloppily kissing the corner of your mouth before slipping his tongue in again. The way you gasp against his lips and tighten around him signals him to your orgasm, and he sits back to watch it play across your face, smirking at how you moan his name desperately.

Ten’s continued thrusts make you shiver from the flood of sensations overcoming your body, and you whimper at his movements until he pulls out and comes on your abdomen.

Ten gives you time to recover after you come down from your second orgasm, though he makes sure to lay a few more enamored kisses on your weakened body. He gets off the bed and exits the room after that. You don’t bother to ask where he’s going, because you know he’ll be back anyway.

When Ten comes back, he has his camera with him. The teasing tilt of his lips never leaves his face as he points it towards you. He takes a photo of you lying on his bed nude, with the breeze coming in and rustling the tree leaves and your hair, your skin shining bronze under the light of the eternal star. Then he comes closer, making the bed sink under his weight, and nudges your legs apart. He takes more photos of your lower stomach glistening with sweat and his cum—and photos of him sliding his slender fingers between your thighs and bringing you careening into another bout of euphoria.

The camera is soon forgotten after you come again. Ten climbs fully back onto the bed now and pulls you into his lap. His dick is hard again, and the length of it nudges against your lower lips, making you whimper from how sensitive you still are. He shushes you with a kiss and lifts your hips so he can slide into you, his shaft nudging that soft spot inside you and making you grip onto his arms.

You’re too mushy and dazed to do anything but let him push his hips up into you while you cling to him, your head lolling back. Ten’s mouth goes to the open expanse of your neck, and he wets your skin with his tongue.

The kaleidoscope of shapes above you on the ceiling morphs into one glistening reflection, throwing the blurred shapes of your bodies back to you. It’s like looking through a dense fog. You’re a little caught off guard by it, and you stare up at your nude forms. Ten looks up as well to see the cloudy figure of you cradled in his lap, and he only grins and thrusts up into you harder and smacks your ass in reply.

He grinds into you while he has you sitting full on his dick, and you think he must have set off your internal “reset” button somewhere between landing slaps on your ass and repeatedly hitting your g-spot. Your mind is blissfully, amazingly blank. The only clear thing you can distinguish is how he feels in and around you.

When you come this time, it comes with a gush of wetness that makes Ten whisper several smug praises into your ear for being such a good girl and making a mess on him.

As you quickly find out, Ten’s refractory period seems to be nonexistent, while his stamina is overflowing.

Ten knows how to mix the pain with pleasure in a way that enhances both feelings, and you don’t know if you’ve ever experienced anything more perfect. One moment, he’ll say something romantic and fairytale-like to you before shoving your head into the pillow and taking you from behind in the next moment, pulling one of your arms behind you for leverage as he thrusts into you hard. You want him to do whatever he desires to you, and so you let him hammer into you until you think your hips and ass will be bruised by the next morning.

You’ve never knew that sex could be so carnal and so loving at the same time, but this is all of those things, and it makes you feel so full that you could split at the seams. You scream, cry, and moan more times than you can count, so enveloped by pleasure that it seems like the atoms of your body will simply dissolve from the intensity.

When you both finally become too exhausted to continue, it’s still daytime. Of course. But Ten draws the blackout shade forward and seals all the light out, and so you know it must be time to sleep. Time blends together here. Even if it’s not yet the midnight hour, it will be as long as you deem it so.

“Come here,” he says, and rolls you over on the bed so you don’t have to sleep in the wet spot. You grin in sleepy amusement against his neck as he hugs you to his body. “Let’s stay right here.”

You know he’s talking about sleeping for the next few hours, but you can also imagine he’s referring to your new life—one you’ll create together.

[dresupi]

Darcy/Loki - Speedrun - Truth Pollen

for @whyndancer

Rated: T

Truth Pollen - Accidental Declaration of feelings

~~~~~~~~~~

“I find your eyes quite lovely, like deep blue pools of still water…” Loki said, eyes widening infinitesimally. If the average person was witnessing this declaration, it likely would have gone unnoticed, and said recipient of the Trickster’s proclamation would have swooned immediately.

But Dr. Darcy Lewis wasn’t easily swayed by pretty words.  She’d been around too many Asgardians by now, it had lost its novelty.

Especially since Loki had treated her with mostly indifference up until now. She scarcely said two words to him, and in return, he’d left her alone. Unless she had something he wanted, and then… well, this.

Rolling her “deep blue” (snort) eyes, she shook her head. “Not gonna work this time, Loki. Whatever it is you want, I can’t provide.”

“I only wish for a moment of your time,” he said, placing both hands on the surface of her desk, giving her a bit of alarm, but not much. He wasn’t being aggressive, but the look on his face was interesting. Sort of confused, sort of intrigued.

“A moment? Is that anything like a minute? Because that’s all I can spare,” she said, reaching for a potato chip from the nearly empty bag on the desk beside her. “I’m analyzing your timeline breech and it’s sort of important.”

“No, I understand what you do is very vital,” he said, immediately grimacing and looking like he’d tasted something bitter. “I don’t understand what’s happening, I don’t want to say that, I want to say I wish you’d kiss me with your pillowy lips until I lose my breath.” He looked even more alarmed now.

Darcy wasn’t sure what kind of game this was, but she was sort of invested. Didn’t everyone want someone to talk to them like this? Well, maybe not everyone. And maybe it was just because it was Loki. Dude was very convincing when he needed to be.

But pillowy?

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Say what now? What’s pillowy?” She bit both of her lips, wondering what was pillowy about them. Yeah, they were plump and luscious, she was well aware of that. She wouldn’t exactly call them pillowy.

“I don’t… your lips look to be the softest things in the multiverse.”

She snorted. “Keep it in your pants, Laufeyson. Don’t make me go get HR.”

“No, I don’t want… Dr. Lewis, you really must allow me to explain. I have been secretly in love with you since I laid eyes upon you.” He sighed in exasperation. “I didn’t want to say that, I apologize, but you’ve captivated me, heart and soul, ever since you asked me to prepare your coffee that first day we met.”

She hadn’t really known who he was at the time, she was sort of eyes deep in all this fucking work. If she’d have known who it was that she was ordering around… well, she’d probably have been a bit meaner about it, to be honest.

But this? This was too difficult to believe. Her frown deepened. “Seriously, dude. It’s not funny. Whatever it is you want, you can have it after I’m finished with this graph.”

“No, I…” He clamped his mouth closed and reached for a pad of paper, scribbling something on it in elegant longhand, but scratching it out furiously when it didn’t yield the effect he wanted. “I… there’s something wrong.”

“No kidding, I didn’t want to say anything, but I think you might have inhaled too much of that weird flower Monica brought back from that alternate branch. It makes you loopy, or so I’ve heard. I stayed away from it. I know I’m a lightweight, I don’t need a weirdo flower to make that readily apparent to everyone in the immediate vicinity. Go sleep it off, you’ll be fine.”

“No, I… you don’t understand…” Loki looked so frustrated. It was almost funny, usually, he drove other people to this, not himself. Karma was a bitch indeed.

“What don’t I understand, dude? I’ve seen Thor drunk before he says a lot of words. Not all of them he remembers.”

“I am not inebriated right now!”

“No, technically, you’re high.”

“No, technically, I’m not susceptible to that alien flora in the same way as Midgardians are. It affects me differently…” he glanced down at his hands and back up at her. “It makes me say things.”

“What kind of things?” Her eyes widened in alarm. “Fuck, is that a sex pollen flower? Like on Star Trek? Or any number of fanfiction stories I might or might not have read in college?”

He frowned. “Sex pollen?”

“Aphrodisiac. Of the airborne variety.”

He scoffed, laughing a little. “Thankfully, no. It appears to affect me differently…” he pressed his lips together. “I think your clever mind will suss it out soon enough without any help from me.”

“My clever mind? It makes you bald-faced lie?” she teased.

He sighed. “No. I lie all the time. It appears that right now, I can’t.”

Her eyes widened once more. “You can’t? So I could ask you anything right now, and you’d have to tell me the truth?”

“It appears that way, yes.”

She chuckled. “That must bother you, dude. Lying’s kind of your thing, isn’t it?”

“Lying is not my thing,” he scoffed.

“Still, it’s a big part of your whole deal,” she said, gesturing vaguely in his direction before turning back to the screen.

“That’s it?” he asked after a few silent beats.

“What’s it?” she asked.

“You could ask me anything. Anything, and I’d have to be truthful with you. Most beings would give their right leg to be in your position.”

She sniffed. “I’m not most beings, Loki.”

“So I’m beginning to see,” he said quietly, materializing a chair to sit in and watch her. “You’ve got a kind heart, Dr. Lewis?”

“Don’t know about that, but I’m not a dick,” she replied bluntly.

“No, no you’re not.” She thought she sensed the smallest smile in his words, but she didn’t look up from the screen again.