#it is not so good now and i don't feel like i'm alive most of the time but ! for at least 22 minutes every saturday i feel more normal 👍

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

a few words. l Joel Miller

Summary: words he didn't want you to hear

Warnings:  angst, unpleasant conversation, they move away from each other

A/N: nothing special. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

Tommy looked at his brother as if he was seeing him for the first time in his life. He hadn't expected this and was slowly regretting that he had shown up at the stables with a few bottles of beer that evening.

"You can't be fucking serious." he finally said.

The man who was sitting on a haystack by the wall seemed exhausted. His brown eyes were fixed on the horse in the opposite stall, the bottle in his big hands still full of beer.

"You slept with her?" Joel looked at him surprised. "What? Simple question. Did you sleep with her or not?"

Joel shook his head. "No."

"But you wish you did."

He looked down, but he couldn't lie to someone who knew him so well. Of course he thought about it. Most often when he was alone in the dark bedroom. Memories of every kiss, tender touch, moments when he held you in his arms - all of these haunted him like ghosts.

He was furious because he wanted more. He wanted to be alive again, to feel again. But should he?

"Joel, you've known each other for years, you live together. Why are you messing with her head if you don't want anything to do with her?"

"It's not like that, Tommy..." his voice was tired, barely audible. "Everything's different with her."

"So why don't you want to give it a chance?" Tommy took a sip of beer. "I don't get it. If you want to be with her, then be. Tell her how you feel and..."

"I'm too old for this!" Joel snapped. "She deserves better, and I can't give it to her."

"Bullshit!" Tommy muttered.

There was silence for a moment. The distant noises of the city settling in for the night drifted through the open stable door. Tommy sat down next to his brother, resting his arms on his knees.

"She's a really nice girl," he said. "I see how she looks at you, cares about you and Ellie. Do you really want to break her heart like that?"

"She's tough."

"Yes, she is."

"Are you going out?"

You were just putting a thermos with a hot drink and a couple of sandwiches into your backpack, you didn't even look up when Joel went down to the kitchen in the morning.

"Yeah. I'm going on patrol." you answered.

Joel frowned. "Our turn is tomorrow."

"I swapped with Paul. He'll go with you. You two get along."

An unpleasant shiver ran down his spine, his heart sped up. The backpack was almost ready, and you didn't seem in the mood for long conversations.

"I'd rather go with you." he grumbled, coming closer and clenching his hands on the back of the chair.

"A change will do you good. It'll do us good too."

"Have you talked to Tommy about this?"

You slung your backpack over your shoulder and looked him in the eye for the first time. He saw something strange in that look. A mixture of sadness, anger, and some kind of severity. You hadn't looked at him like that before.

"You'll probably talk to him yourself, right?" you said "I think..." your voice broke for a moment, but you quickly got back on track. "I think when I get back I'll ask Maria to find me another place to live."

"W-What? Why?"

"We both know why."

You adjusted your backpack and left the house. The world you had built had just collapsed.

"What the fuck was I supposed to do?"

"You could have not let her go!"

"She's an adult, Joel! She came last night, said she had already talked to Paul. I couldn't say no to her." Tommy put the crate in the storage room and looked at Joel.

He could see that his brother was furious and distraught. You usually went on patrols together, Joel didn't like you going out alone. Although he knew you would manage, he didn't fully trust others. Now he had completely lost control over anything.

Tommy looked at him with pity. "I think she must have heard us yesterday. Maria saw her in town, she was upset. Then she showed up at our place. I didn't ask, it's none of my business."

"You could have stopped her." Joel repeated quietly.

"And you could have kept her with you. But you chose not to."

He could.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt. 9)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: Rafe and Y/n share the exciting news. But trouble is always right around the corner...

Warnings: Language, smut, pregnancy

Word Count: 4.7k+

You couldn't believe you waited this long to get help. You felt so happy. You were taking it easy, spending your time with Rafe and only Rafe. You knew you needed to talk to Topper and Kelce. Thank them and apologize. But for now, you just wanted to be with your love.

Rafe made you breakfast every morning. He made sure you took your meds and he re-bandaged your wrist every day. Every time he saw the stitches holding your skin together he frowned, but he'd swallow his feelings and remind himself that you're still here with him. Alive and happy.

"What color did you pick?" You giggle as he brushes eyeshadow onto your lids. He wanted to do your make up and you let him. Laying in his lap on the bathroom floor as he picked through three drawers of make up, not knowing what a single product is. You explained each item to him and he was fully invested in doing his best work.

"Purple," He replies. "I love purple on you."

You smile, keeping your eyes closed as he works. You relax at the feeling of the brushes moving across your skin.

You peak up at him as he works on gluing green rhinestones to your face. He was fully concentrated on what he was doing and it was the cutest thing you'd ever seen.

"Done!" He finally says. You jump up in excitement and look in the mirror.

"Holy shit, Rafe," You say, examining your face. "This looks amazing!" The emerald green rhinestones complimented the dark purple shimmer perfectly. Your cheeks were the perfect shade of pink, and a dark brown gloss on your lips tied it all together. He even contoured your face perfectly.

Rafe blushes. "You look beautiful," He says, pulling you to him and kissing your temple.

You turn to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and staring up at him. "I've had such a nice time the last few days. Thank you."

He brushes his thumb over your cheek, savoring the cute smile that sat on your face. "I love being with you. I'm so happy you're home with me."

Rafe's phone rings, ruining the moment. He sighs.

You laugh, "Answer it, babe. I gotta put on setting spray so we don't lose this masterpiece." You wave around your face.

He smiles and reaches for his phone.

"Hello?"

You listen to Rafe talk as you spray your face, locking his artwork in place.

"I dunno, dude...I'll ask her." Rafe turns to look at you. "Do you want to go get lunch at the club? It's okay if not."

"Who's asking?

"Court, Kelce, and Top."

You smile. You've been holed up in your house since you got out of the hospital. "Yeah, that sounds good."

Rafe smiles at you. Happy you're ready to go out. "Yeah, we'll be there soon." He says into his phone before hanging up.

"You sure you're ready to go out, baby?" Rafe asks, wrapping his hands around your stomach.

Your breath hitches slightly. You still haven't told him. But the feeling of his hands over the life growing inside you makes you melt.

"Yeah, I need to see them." You say. "I need to apologize."

"No you don't, baby."

"I do, Rafe. I've put you guys through hell and it's not okay. I'm so so grateful to have you guys in my life but you guys don't deserve to witness what I've put you through."

You could see the water in Rafe's eyes as he looked away. He choked back his tears and pressed his lips to yours.

Rafe leads you outside, helping you into his truck. You smile as he drives towards the club. It was a beautiful day and you were with the person you loved most. The feeling of being sober was like a whole new high.

You started to get a little nervous when you saw Courtney, Topper, and Kelce standing outside the club.

Rafe reached for your hand after parking. "You sure you're okay?"

You nod and he brings your hand to his lips, kissing your skin so softly you can barely feel him.

Rafe comes around and helps you out of his truck. He clung to your hand tightly as you approached your friends.

"Y/N!" Courtney squeals, running over to you and wrapping her arms around you.

"Hey, bitch!" You chuckle.

"Have you told him?" She whispers in your ear.

"Not yet," You respond. "Tonight."

Courtney pulls back from you and smiles as she takes you in. You're starting to look like your old self again.

"How are you feeling?" Topper asks as he approaches you, holding his arms out.

"I'm doing good, Top!" You say as you hug him tightly.

Kelce comes to you next, wrapping you in a hug. "You look amazing." He says.

"That's cuz of Rafe. He did my glam today," You chuckle as you motion to your make up.

"Shit, Rafe! You have skills!" Courtney says.

Rafe blushes and pulls you to his side.

You all head inside and make your way out to the deck. Rafe pulls your chair out for you and you sit right between him and Courtney.

JJ comes up to take your order but you couldn't be bothered, you were feeling too happy being with your friends again.

Kelce and Topper order Mai Tai's. You Rafe and Courtney order water.

"Completely clean now?" Kelce asks you.

"Taking a break from the alcohol and drugs. Focusing on what's important." You say, glancing at Rafe. He smiled back at you, fiddling with his ear.

Courtney tries to hide a smirk, her being the only one that knows your little secret.

JJ brings your drinks back and you all order food. Topper and Kelce giving him attitude as usual.

When he walks off you take your opportunity. "So listen," You begin. "I just wanted to first of all thank you guys for being there for me during a really hard time. You guys have saved my life on multiple occasions and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that."

"We're always here for you." Topper says. You can feel Rafe's fingers trail over your skin as he listens to you.

"I also want to say sorry. I'm so sorry I've put you guys through this trauma."

"Y/N-" Kelce begins.

You raise a hand to him and cut him off. "You guys shouldn't have had to see all that. I'm so grateful for all of you and I'm so sorry. I'm going to do better." You promise.

Rafe tightens his grip on you. Courtney looks semi-sad but grateful for your apology. Topper and Kelce smile at you.

"We're here for you no matter what," Topper says. "We're just really glad you're okay."

You smile at them, thankful to have them in your life.

JJ brings your food out and the rest of lunch consists of you all eating and joking around. You were laughing harder than you have in months. You fully enjoyed experiencing you friendships sober.

You hold Rafe and Courtney's hands as you walk out of the club.

"You guys wanna go to a party tonight?" Kelce asks when you're all outside.

You cling tightly to Rafe, hoping he knows how to respond.

"No, I think we're gonna stay in tonight," He says, rubbing your back.

"You guys have stayed in all week," Topper groans.

"Next time, Top." You promise. "Rafe and I have business to attend to."

Kelce makes gagging sounds, earning a laugh from Courtney. Topper just rolls his eyes.

You turn to Courtney and hug her tightly. "Let me know how it goes," She whispers to you.

You nod with a smile before giving Topper and Kelce their hugs. You wave goodbye as you and Rafe walk back to his truck.

Once you're both inside, Rafe looks over at you with a goofy grin.

"What?" You giggle.

"I just love you so much."

"I love you right back!" You smile, giving him a kiss. "Take me home. I wasn't joking about that business." You wiggle your eyebrows at him.

Rafe bites his lip and smiles. Fully ready to spend the rest of the day inside of you.

"Wanna take a bath?" You ask as you both climb out of the truck.

"Absolutely I do," He says with a shit-eating grin. You can't help but smile back at him.

Rafe follows you up the stairs, unable to keep his hands off you. You head to the bathroom and turn on the water in your giant tub. You add lavender bubbles and some bath salts. God knows you can't take a bath without them.

"Can you make some tea, baby?" You ask Rafe.

"Of course, my love." He replies, giving you a quick kiss and running downstairs.

You walk over to your bathroom speakers, hooking your phone up to bluetooth. You throw on Lund before stripping out of your clothes.

You step into the bathtub and let the water run over your skin as you lay back. You took a few deep breaths, knowing you had to tell Rafe about the baby. You were terrified.

"Here you go, my love." Rafe says as he sets a mug of tea down beside you.

"Thanks, baby,"

Rafe rids himself of his clothes and steps into the bath with you, sitting across from you. You grab his hand under the water and smile at him.

"So pretty," He gushes over you.

"You're pretty," You say, causing him to blush. Your favorite sight.

He pulls you too him and you swim over happily, straddling his lap. His hands move to your ass, rubbing over your skin hungrily. "How can I make you feel good, pretty girl?" He asks, placing kisses on your collar bone.

"You can do whatever you want to me in a minute, baby. First I have to talk to you about something."

Rafe leans back. Worry taking over his features. "What do you want to talk about, angel?"

You sigh and bite your lip. "Rafe...do you...do you ever want like-like a family?" You ask him.

"Only with you." He says without hesitation.

You take his hand and guide it to your stomach. Pressing it against your skin as you hold your hand over his.

He looks up at you with a puzzled expression.

"I'm pregnant, baby." You tell him softly unsure of how he'll react. "They told me in the hospital. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was just so scared."

Rafe gripped your belly tighter. "You're pregnant?"

"Mhmm," You nod, biting your lip nervously.

"Like...like you're pregnant? Like...we are having a baby?" He asks.

"Uhm, yeah...if you want to." You tell him.

He snakes his hand around the back of your neck and pulls your lips to his, kissing you with more passion than he ever has before.

When you finally pull away to take a breath tears were falling from his eyes.

"We're having a baby!" He says excitedly, rubbing his hand over your stomach. "I can't believe it!"

You smiled, relaxing at the fact that he was so excited about it.

"My angel, you get more perfect every day. And now you're giving me a baby. I love you so fucking much." He says, beaming up at you.

You couldn't help but cry at his reaction. You had no words. You were ecstatic that he was excited about your baby.

You could feel him hard underneath you and you quickly bucked your hips up, grabbing his cock and lining it up at your entrance before sinking down onto him.

"Fuuuuck," He moans as he clings to your hips, resting his head against your chest as he helps you move up and down on his cock.

"You're going to be such a good dad," You tell him as he slides in and out of you.

"Say that again," He groans.

You lean down and whisper in his ear. "Such a good daddy, Rafe Cameron."

"I'll do anything for you and our baby, mama." He says, thrusting into you deeper.

"Fuck me from behind," You demand.

Rafe pulls you off of him and stands up, bringing you with him. He bends you over the side of the bathtub and thrusts into you again, holding you tightly to make sure you don't fall.

"Oh, fuck!" You cry out, loving the new angle of his cock thrusting in to you. He brings his hand around and rubs circles on your clit and you can feel yourself growing close.

"Pretty girl, anything you want, I'll give it to you. So amazing. Carrying our baby." He praises as he thrusts into you roughly. "You're everything I've ever dreamed of."

You reach your high, vibrating around his cock. "Fuck, Rafe!" You whine. He thrusts a few more times, exploding inside you.

"You're so fucking addicting," he pants as as he rests on your back.

"You make me feel so fucking good, Rafe." You mutter as you try to catch your breath.

"Come here, sweet angel." He says as he steps out of the tub and helps you out. "You need to rest."

Rafe helps you dry off and carries you to your bed. He lays beside you, running one hand through your hair while the other cups your stomach. You didn't have a baby bump yet but you both felt the little life growing inside you.

"I can't wait to meet our baby," Rafe whispers, nuzzling into your skin.

"I keep dreaming about him. He's gonna be a boy."

Rafe smiles up at you. "Any name ideas?"

You ponder for a moment and smile. "Do you know the meaning of your name, Rafe?"

"I do not," He admits.

"It means Wise Wolf. Or Counsel of the Wolf."

Rafe contemplates for a moment. "That's actually pretty cool."

You turn to face him. "So if it is a boy, like I think it is, let's name him Wolf."

Rafe smiles at you. "After me?"

"Of course. He'll be so strong and amazing just like his father." You praise.

Rafe blushes and bites his lip. "I like Wolf."

You smile at him as he runs his fingers through your hair. "We're gonna be parents,"

"Thank you," Rafe starts. "Thank you so much for choosing me."

"What do you mean?" You ask.

"You chose me. To be your boyfriend. To take your virginity. And now you're choosing to have a family with me. I won't let you down. I won't let Wolf down."

You smile. "You're the best decision I've ever made."

-

You fiddle with dress, unhappy with the way it sat on your body. You had just gotten back from your doctors appointment. Two and a half months pregnant. How the hell had you been pregnant this long and not noticed?

The doctor told you everything was fine. That you were healthy and so was your child. But you couldn't help but cry at the fact that you put so many toxins into your body while your baby was growing inside you. You didn't know, but you would never forgive yourself for it.

"You look absolutely amazing." Rafe said as he entered your bathroom, snaking his arms around your torso and brushing his thumb over your belly. "Mama," He adds, placing a kiss on your cheek.

"I'm nervous, Rafe." You admit.

"I am too. But we have to tell them. We can't hide it forever."

Only Rafe and Courtney knew you were pregnant. Rafe didn't love the fact that Courtney found out before him, however, he understood. But today, today was the day you'd be telling his family.

You wore a white sun dress, white strappy wedges to match. Despite your heels, Rafe still towered over you.

"You ready, angel? We gotta get there before guests start arriving."

The Cameron's were having a barbecue. All the Kooks on the island were invited of course. You and Rafe decided this would be the best time to tell them because if they ended up being pissed, the guests arriving would have them distracted enough for the two of you to sneak off.

Your stomach was doing flips as you pulled into Tannyhill. You had no idea how Ward and Rose would react to this news. You glanced over at Rafe, noticing he was equally nervous.

"We're really doing this," You state, taking a deep breath.

"Yep," Rafe responds. "I think I'm gonna puke."

"Me too," You say.

Just then, Wheezie walks out front and spots you guys sitting in the truck. She throws her arms up as if to ask you guys why you're just sitting there. She motions for you to come inside.

"Guess that's our cue." You say with a shaky breath.

Rafe swallows before hopping out of the truck and coming over to help you out. He wraps his hand around your waist as you walk slowly towards the entrance.

"Why are you guys being so weird?" Wheezie asks.

"We're not, Wheeze." Rafe says, clinging to you tightly.

You all enter the house. You swear you were going to vomit in the foyer. When you enter the kitchen, Rose and Ward greet you excitedly. Sarah and John B sit at the island and scoff.

You ignore them. Clinging to Rafe as your nerves rise.

Ward and Rose both notice the RC that sat healed on your chest as well as the bandage that remained on your wrist. They swallowed their thoughts and forced a smile. They knew everything that had recently happened, Rafe coming home crying about it. It took hours for Rose and Ward to calm him down. But that was not to be discussed today.

"Are you two ready for tonight? We always love doing an end of summer barbecue." Rose says.

"We are. We actually wanted to talk to you guys first." Rafe says, swallowing his fear.

Wheezie looks up, focusing on you and Rafe now as she tucks her phone in her back pocket. Sarah and John B turn their attention to you as well.

"About what, son?" Ward asks, slight concern coating his features.

You were praying the earth would open and swallow you up. Anxiety taking over your body as you let Rafe take control of the situation.

"Uhm, Y/N and I..." Rafe begins. "We, uhm..."

All eyes were on you and you just wanted it out in the open.

"I'm pregnant," You blurt out before you could stop yourself.

"Uhm, yeah. That..." Rafe says, awkwardly placing his hand on your stomach.

Everyone's eyes were wide, completely surprised by this information.

Ward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was angry. The fact that his son impregnated Elliot Y/L/N's daughter. He could kiss that business deal goodbye.

John B and Sarah just stared at the two of you, wondering how the fuck you two psychos were going to be parents.

"Congratulations!" Wheezie broke out, running to give you a hug.

"Thanks, Wheeze!" You tell her. "We're really, really excited."

Your words seem to pull Ward from his disapproving demeanor. "Does your father know?" He asks you.

"Not yet. I'm going to write him."

Ward sighs again. "Rafe you-"

"Are going to be an amazing father." You cut Ward off, holding on tightly to Rafe and staring daggers at his father.

Ward cowered under your gaze. He had no idea what to think. He knew he needed to protect you and keep you safe while Elliot was away. But he was scared shitless of how Elliot would react to the news of his son getting you pregnant. He would find any reason to be disappointed in Rafe and you were going to put an end to that.

You stood up proudly, placing your hand over Rafe's on your stomach. From the second you found out you were pregnant, you were happy. Rafe is the only person you could picture having a life with and you felt honored to be carrying his child inside your body.

"Congratulations," Rose finally said, rounding the island pulling you both into a hug. "I can't wait to meet the little one." She gushes.

Ward shakes off any negative thoughts. He pulls you in for a hug and you accept hesitantly. "Congratulations, son." He says, pulling Rafe into a hug.

You smile, seeing how happy Rafe is at his dad's gesture.

"You guys seriously support this?" Sarah scoffs. "These two...psychopaths having a kid?"

"Shut your fucking mouth, Sarah." Rafe hisses.

"I'm sorry I just think it's a little weird that two people who cut each other up and drink each others blood should be allowed to have kids."

You step forward but Rafe quickly pulls you back. "You're lucky I'm pregnant." You spit. You were going to have to get used to this. Not fighting.

"Sarah, stop!" Ward scolds her. "Either be happy for your brother or don't say anything at all."

Sarah scoffs. "Congratulations, fucking vampires." She says before pulling John B out of the room.

You swallow your anger and lean into Rafe. He holds you tightly, bringing a hand up to play with your hair.

"I apologize for her." Ward says. His face was still riddled with concern. But he was going to keep his mouth shut since you seemed to be so happy. It wasn't like you and Rafe couldn't afford a child. But Sarah was also right, you were crazy. But crazy in love and loyal to your pack. You'd protect Rafe and your baby at all costs.

People begin to knock on the door and Rose is quick to answer, inviting people inside and leading them out back.

Rafe sits you down at the kitchen table. "Let me get you some water, mama." He says.

You smile as he hands you a glass of water. "Should we tell Kelce and Top tonight?" You ask.

"If you're ready, baby girl." He responds, brushing your hair behind your ear.

You smile and nod. "I am. I'm so happy."

Rafe smiles, your words making him melt. All he wants to do is make you happy. He's never felt good enough, especially in his fathers eyes. He swore to himself he'd never make his child feel that way.

"Let's go get you something to eat, pretty girl." He says, helping you up and guiding you to the back yard.

He fixes you a plate of food before guiding you to one of the tables by the pool. "Here, baby, eat," He says, offering you some cheese and crackers.

"I'm not that hungry, babe." You tell him.

"Gotta eat, baby." He insists. "For you and Wolfy."

You smile at the nickname, accepting the food he's holding for you.

"You guys seriously make me gag," Topper says as him, Kelce, and Courtney approach where you're sitting, making themselves comfortable in the rest of the chairs at the table.

"Good to see you too," You chuckle.

"You okay?" Kelce asks, noticing your hand on your stomach.

"Yeah! I'm great! We actually uh...we have some news." You say with a smile.

Topper and Kelce look confused, glancing back and forth between you and Rafe. Courtney tried to hide her knowing smile.

You look at Rafe, urging him to be the one to tell them since you so lovingly did so for his parents.

"We're having a baby," Rafe says, smile wide on his face.

Topper chokes on his drink. You giggle as he attempts to catch his breath.

"You? You two are having a baby?" Kelce asks, jaw dropped as Courtney attempts to help Topper regain his breath.

"Mhmm," You nod. "I'm two and a half months. I had no idea..." You say, a tinge of sadness in your voice.

Rafe places a comforting hand on your leg. "We saw the doctor today and everything is going great!" He smiles down at you, reminding you that your baby is perfectly healthy.

"Holy shit, that's amazing!" Kelce says, lunging towards you and wrapping you in a hug before he does the same with Rafe.

"Congratulations!" Topper finally coughed out.

Courtney came around and hugged you from behind. "I'm so happy for you, Sunflower!" She squealed, kissing your cheek. "And you too, Rafey!" She says, wrapping her arms around his chest and kissing his cheek as well.

You and Rafe were nothing but smiles. Happy that everyone was being so supportive. Atleast, almost everyone.

You could feel Sarah and John B's eyes on you. They were whispering to eachother on the other side of the yard.

Rafe noticed you frown and looked over to see what you were staring at. His jaw tightened, absolutely sick of Sarah's shit. "Wait here," He said, placing a quick kiss on your head.

He stood up and made his way over to Sarah and John B. "What's your problem, Sarah?" He hissed.

John B stepped in front of her protectively.

"Why don't you ever just mind your own business?" Rafe continued.

"It's not my fault you and your psycho girlfriend got pregnant. You're 19, Rafe!"

"Yeah, and you're 16 running around with Pogues and robbing drug dealers!"

Sarah scrunched up her face at him.

"Just stay out of my business and keep your mouth shut around Y/N. Or I'll tell dad all about your little adventures."

"Like he'd believe you? You're the one that was buying coke from Barry!"

Rafe sucked on his bottom lip. Irritation present in his expression. "I'm clean now. Mind your business, Sarah." He said before walking off back towards you and his friends.

-

You brushed your hair, pinning at back slightly as you stared at the mirror in Rafe's bathroom. You could hear him and Wheezie talking in the hall. Rafe sounded upset.

"I know like a thousand times more about the business than she does!"

"I don't know, Rafe! Rose just wanted me to tell you."

"Hm," You hear Rafe grumble before he walks back into his room.

"Everything okay, baby?" You ask him. He was sitting on his bed, head in his hands, obviously pissed off. "Hey, look at me." You say, bringing his chin up to meet your gaze.

Rafe leans into you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You cradle his head and play with his hair as you hug him silently.

"I gotta take care of some stuff," He mumbles.

"Do you want me to come?"

He shakes his head. "No. You stay here. Rest. I just gotta talk to my dad."

"Isn't he going to the Bahamas with Sarah? What's going on, Rafe?"

"Baby, please. Please just stay here. Watch a movie or something." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He grabs his credit card and hands it you. "Order some food. I'll be back soon, I promise."

You look at him hesitantly but you nod in agreement. Ward was always a touchy subject with Rafe and you didn't want to push it.

He presses a kiss to your lips and then one to your stomach before hurrying out of his room.

You tried to rest, nap, watch tv, nothing was helping you relax. You were so confused by Rafe's behavior earlier. You hadn't heard from him in a couple hours and you were starting to worry.

When will you be home? I miss you. Please be safe.

You pressed send and sighed. You walk downstairs and head towards the front door, ready to get some fresh air.

"Hey Rose," You greet.

"Hey! How are you feeling?" She asks as she sprays the hose over her flowers she works so hard on.

"I'm okay. I haven't had like morning sickness or anything. I hope the baby is this easy when he gets here."

Rose laughs. Rafe was a wild child so I imagine you two will have your hands full.

You smile halfheartedly. "He was acting so weird earlier."

"I haven't seen him today. Maybe he's just a little overwhelmed? I imagine you both are."

"Yeah I guess so. It still doesn't really feel real."

"It will. Once you start showing." She says with a smile.

Before you could say anything else, Rafe's truck was pulling into the driveway.

He got out, panic evident in his eyes.

"Rafe?" You ask as you stand up.

You see Sarah climb out of the passenger side and make her way around. She looked like absolute hell and you noticed blood on her shirt and hands.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you on the plane?" Rose asked her.

"Ask Rafe." She scoffs before storming off into the house.

Rafe looks like he's on the verge of tears. "I-I need to talk to you." He says, his voice cracking.

"What is it?"

"Not here." Rafe grabs you wrist and drags you into the house. Not angrily but forceful enough to concern you.

"Rafe what's going on?!" You ask as you finally enter his room, shutting the door behind him.

He begins pacing back and forth, hyperventilating as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Fuck, fuck..." He muttered to himself.

"Baby, calm down!" You yell, wrapping your arms around him.

Rafe falls to the floor, pulling you down with him as he sobs into your neck. You'd seen him have panic attacks before but never like this. He grips you so tightly, as if he let go you'd simply evaporate.

"Sweet boy," You begin, feeling yourself begin to cry as you run your hand over his back.

"I-I did something really b-bad." He lets out between sobs.

"What did you do, baby? Whatever it is we can fix it. I'm sure."

Rafe shook his head. "I-I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me baby, I'm right here. I'd never leave you!" You try to reassure him. "Just tell me what happened so we can figure it out, together. Always together."

Rafe sat up and looked at you, chest heaving, tears running down his face as he tried to control his breathing.

"I shot Peterkin."

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged! :)

@outerbankspov @torturedtypewritersdept

[liquidorcard]

Tw: Heavy topic discussion ahead.

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So I have suffered with suicidal ideation for the majority of my life. As long as I can remember-- even when I was a child to some extent.

Despite current awareness of mental health issues, honestly, I don't think we have as a society really resolved yet how to earnestly address the issue. I don't blame people for not knowing what to say to suicidal people or just defaulting to the whole "oh I'm sorry, you're not alone, blah blah blah" song and dance. I get they don't know what to say, but.

The issue with being always suicidal is that it's kinda a bitch to figure out how to just live with? You don't want to worry people, or emotionally burden them, you dont want them walking on eggshells around you forever because they think at any moment they could accidentally push you over the edge. Because the conversation around suicidal ideation is so focused on NOT being suicidal anymore, it functionally silences people in a well-meaning, but still harmful way.

Like, let ol' uncle Eldritch affirm for anyone reading this right now: it's OKAY to be suicidal. Not okay as in, indulge the urge. But suicidal ideation is a mental health concern like any other. It's not your fault, and stressing yourself out that you feel this way will do you no good. Accepting a feeling is not the same as acting on it.

For most people the feeling is temporary, but the reality is for some of us it's not. The feeling might be more intense sometimes than others, but it's okay if they're always there. Strange thing to say, I know, but you don't owe anyone happiness. You don't owe anyone self-contentment. Yes, we all want those things, but getting upset with yourself that you haven't achieved that beyond healthy degrees is a vicious cycle that will only make you more miserable.

There's a difference between treating negative emotions as an undesirable outcome, and treating them as if they're a mistake. As if they're not often enough a logical outcome to many of life's challenges, especially these days.

Counterintuitive, I know, but accepting that someday I might lose the battle with my own suicidal ideation probably saved my life at several low points. Something I've had to reaffirm within myself several times over my life. And something it's been very hard to get other people to understand.

The problem may be bad, but it's almost always the stigma that makes it dire.

I'm not going to pretend there isn't some degree of a grain of truth to the idea that some people use suicidal intent to get attention, but that's a gross and misleading oversimplification of the issue. Some people have no suicidal intent, but use it as a means of manipulating others. I'd say those types of people are rarer than you might imagine, but yes, they exist. I'd say the majority of people, especially the ones who express the thought over and over again, just don't know what to do with their feelings. They're looking for an outlet, an explanation, validation, solidarity-- something. They're looking to not feel so isolated anymore, having feelings they know they "shouldn't be having." As stated above, our society still doesn't accept the feelings as acceptable even if we've moved the dial on the topic, and they're feeling shame and frustration that they just can't quite move past that.

I don't want to speak for everyone but I do believe I'm very much not alone on this when I say the phrase "I want to die"/"I'm suicidal" with the same type of intent I say, "I want to sleep," or "I'm hungry." I'd rather be awake and full, but, I'm currently feeling compelled to satisfy the urge to go to bed or eat. I'd rather be alive, however, dying feels like a very tempting offer. Inconveniently, of course, that craving happens to have permanent results. Can't go back to living if/when I have enough spoons to keep going, boo.

That's a very confusing sensation to grapple with-- understanding your life is a finite resource you aren't going to be able to get back, but also, being fucking sick of it. It's hard to know what to do about that-- especially because, again, you aren't ALLOWED to feel that way apparently.

If that feeling can be fixed it should, but some of us don't have that luxury. Some of us are broken in a way you can patch up, but we can never be fully restored to a mint-like condition. We still have value, we still are useful and can be fully realized people, if there was only room for us to be taken as we are and not how people want us.

Outrageously irresponsible and fucked Lily had the balls to give advice on this, if that even has to be said. Rest assured, she's on my "To Haunt" list if I do end up offing myself (in Minecraft.)

[kazumahashimoto]

YOU'RE ALIVE, IT'S SO GOOD NOW

[mad-hunts]

i sincerely believe that barton literally just... drops his stuff down once he gets home and lays on the floor sometimes to feel the coolness of the ground after he's had a long day at work + the mathis kids literally have just gotten used to talking to him while he's just. lying there and honestly, it's little thing's like that remind me that... oh yeah, barton is basically my OC, because i deadass have done that in my room before ☠️ LMAO

[daz4i]

i am so angry about being alive it's not even funny anymore

[ayakashibackstreet]

You know what, joining that Discord show club was a great idea, like half of my favourite PKC folks are there. And is there anything more wholesome than someone going '1!! hey, I remember that dog!! she's adorable, I'm glad she's doing well!' about a little pixel friend they made for you years ago?

[linagram]

[ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜' 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 ]

here they are!! finally!!

okay, so at first i thought that i should add something like "part 1", since this post will include only the guilty trio's side characters, but i thought about it and.. i don't really think i should make profiles for other side characters too? most side characters are just the family members (like asahi's adoptive father or eiko's mother) or they're those prisoners' friends (riku's friends/bandmates, reina's friends, etc) and i don't want to make profiles for all those friend groups.

but we'll see! maybe i'll just drop some family/friends lore when i feel like it.

Side character 001: Saito Arata

Name: Saito Arata (斎藤新) (his last name means "purification, worship" and his first name means "fresh, new")

Age: 17 y/o

Gender: Male

Birth date: March 23rd (Aries)

Height: 176 cm

Blood type: AB

Occupation: High school student (first year)

Personality: Arata is an interesting and unpredictable person. It's hard to tell what's going on inside his head, but he always looks like he's up to no good. He does whatever he wants and whenever he wants and he doesn't care what others say. He's very chill and relaxed most of the time and there's only a few things that can make him angry. He's very talkative and outgoing, but he still has no friends.. Or maybe he has one, if you can call that boy his friend. It's hard to impress someone like Arata, so if you manage to do that, don't be surprised if he suddenly becomes obsessed with you and starts basically worshipping you. But also.. don't be surprised when he just as suddenly decides that he doesn't find you interesting anymore and leaves you. His interests change all the time, he can't control it. And also, even if you are like a god to him, it doesn't mean that he will forget about everything else. He's not as loyal as he likes to make people believe. Also, what's the point of being so obsessed with someone if he actually has more power than anyone else here?

Trivia:

Arata's grades aren't that good and one of the reasons why he started to like Akio is the younger boy agreeing to let him copy his homework.

Arata doesn't look exactly like Riku, but they share some other traits, like age, zodiac sign, blood type, being taller than Akio and having dark hair. Also, Riku not looking like an exact copy of Arata and Akio still liking him because of how much he reminds him of his follower can be explained as Akio missing Arata too much.

Arata is a year older than most of his classmates, but there's not any particular reason for that.

Arata really likes animals that are considered to be weird, dangerous or scary by most people and he was obsessed with insects and dinosaurs when he was a child (he still is). He also has a huge shark plushie in his room, but it's not cute at all and it's actually kinda creepy. When Akio found out about that interest of his, he tried to find as much information as possible, so that he could impress Arata with his knowledge later.

Arata actually didn't care about Akio that much when he first met him, he only had to spend time with him for reasons I can't talk about yet, but as he kept learning more about him and what kind of person he is, he started to admire him and be truly supportive of him.

Arata knew Akio's victim well not only because of them all being classmates, but also because Akio's victim really wanted to be friends with Akio and that annoyed Arata even back when he wasn't interested in Akio (or at least he thought so). When he fully turned into Akio's follower, he did everything to make his victim's life worse: from stealing his medications to "accidentally" pushing him down the stairs. Akio actually didn't need to try and "manipulate" Arata to kill the poor boy for him, Arata would do it anyway sooner or later.

If you remember, the silhouettes' eyes in Akio's MV were green (meaning envy and jealousy) and only one of them had pink eyes (meaning love and genuine support). Yes, those other figures are Akio's classmates and the pink-eyed figure is supposed to be Arata.. but only in this particular MV (symbolism, am I right), because in real life, as you have probably already noticed, Arata has heterochromia and one of his eyes is pink, meanwhile his other eye is green. And yes, I've made his eyes like that on purpose.

Remember how Akio mentioned in his interrogation that he's okay with anything his mother cooks, but something was crossed out? He actually wanted to write "anything Arata cooks", but quickly changed it to his mother, because he found it too embarrassing and he didn't want the guards to ask about Arata. The funniest thing about this is that Arata actually can't cook at all and he just bought random food and then he was like "Yeah, I've made it for you, do you like it? <3". It worked though and Arata had to hold his laugh every single time because Akio genuinely believed him.

Side character 005: Mikazuki Ruka

Name: Mikazuki Ruka (朏 瑠日) (his last name means "crescent moon" and his first name means "lapis lazuli" and "sun")

Age: 21 y/o

Gender: Male

Birth date: May 19th (Taurus)

Height: 164 cm

Blood type: A

Occupation: Unemployed

Personality: Ruka wishes people would just.. ignore him or pretend he's not here. He doesn't like talking to people and finds it exhausting. Even simply being around people is too much for him. No, actually, everything is too much for him. Getting up in the morning or even simply eating or breathing is too much work for him. It would be nice if he had someone who could just.. do all of that for him. He'd be okay with doing anything in return for that.. well, if it's not too exhausting. Ah, and if this doesn't sound too weird yet, Ruka has this interesting habit of saying that he's actually dead if anyone asks him to do something he's too lazy to do or simply asks him a question about his past or how he's feeling right now. He often says something like "'Cause I'm dead" in the end of his sentences. He never explains why he does that and it seems much more serious than just him trying to come up with an excuse not to talk about something or not to do something. Maybe it's because he genuinely feels like he's actually a corpse and that's why he's always so tired?.. Ah, but don't think that he's always so cold and emotionless. He's actually very expressive, but only around one specific person.

Trivia:

Ruka's voice is very androgynous and most of the time people have to ask him about his gender. It doesn't help that he has a unisex name as well. And when someone asks him or thinks he's a girl, he simply shrugs and goes "I'm dead anyway, so it doesn't matter". He often wears skirts and dresses too.

Speaking of that habit of his, at first Kei thought that Ruka suffers from "Cotard's syndrome", a condition in which the person thinks that they're actually dead or don't have any blood or organs, but he has soon found out that Ruka knows perfectly well that he's alive, he just likes to think that he's dead, a walking corpse or even a zombie.

Ruka stopped growing when he was 14 years old and he still looks very young and people often mistake him for a teenager. When Kei first met him in a night club, he actually got worried and wondered how this kid was allowed in here. Ruka kinda likes the fact that he looks so young, since "it proves that he really has died and stopped aging".

Ruka is much more talkative around Kei in general. And just so you understand, he wasn't a "poor innocent guy who Kei has kidnapped and tortured in his basement", he was free to go anywhere he wanted to (without leaving the house, of course) and do anything that he wanted. He even made fun of Kei and made jokes like "Ah, do you like me for my childlike appearance or something? You're even more of a creep than I've thought" (Kei punched him right after that and made him take his words back because even he got uncomfortable after hearing that) and "Just beat me up and take as many photos as you want already, I wanna go to sleep as soon as we're done". He even teased him and said things like "What, is this everything you've got?" while Kei tortured him. Kei absolutely did horrible things to him, but Ruka still had more freedom than it was shown in Kei's MV and even though he's still a victim of kidnapping, he actually kind of enjoyed the process because he thought he was finally about to die for real.

The outfit that he's shown wearing has sun and moon motifs which is a reference to his name meaning. I wanted his name to be related to both sun and moon to show that he's Kei's "sun and moon", that meaning that he's Kei's everything.

According to Ruka, he doesn't have any parents or siblings and he also hates when people ask him about them. He still had a friend group (he didn't care about them at all) and he actually was basically forced to come with them to that night club from Kei's MV. They have still spent a lot of time explaining that he really is an adult This is how Kei and Ruka met and Kei went "Oh.. He's just like me fr.."

It's hard to explain what kind of relationship Kei and Ruka had, since it's hard to call them friends and they weren't really a couple. Their relationship had platonic, romantic and sexual elements, but they still had no idea who they are to each other and they mostly just treated each other like an artist and a muse at first before they started to become closer.

Side character 008: Kanasawa Takame

Name: Kanasawa Takame (金沢喬女) (her last name means "gold" and "swamp, stream" and her first name means "high, noble" and "woman")

Age: 31 y/o

Gender: Female

Birth date: November 16th (Scorpio)

Height: 170 cm

Blood type: O

Occupation: Maid cafe manager

Personality: Takame is a polite and gentle woman who is always very kind to everyone, especially her employees. She has a very good reputation and everyone knows her as a caring and understanding person who never lets her employees overwork themselves and if she sees someone making them uncomfortable, she will make sure to take care of that and protect them. She's quite passionate about anime, manga and games and that's.. uh.. one of the reasons why she decided to open a maid cafe. What about the other reasons? Haha, you don't have to know that. Maybe this woman really does have a dark side, but only one of her workers knows about it. And that worker still loves her no matter what.

Trivia:

Takame secretly has a thing for cute girls in maid outfits and that's a second reason why she opened a maid cafe.

Takame really does have a secret second job and her being a cafe manager is just something she does to hide her secrets and make herself look like a normal person who doesn't do anything illegal.

Unlike other two side characters who actually liked their prisoners, she didn't have any feelings for Yurika and just manipulated her because she knew that Yurika is the only worker who would agree to help with something like Takame's second job and she knew that Yurika really needs someone to rely on, so she promised she will take care of everything that Yurika has problems with. She thought that Yurika is cute, but that's all.

Takame really does like anime, manga and games and that's not something she made up. She believes that no matter how old you are, you should still do what you like, even if other people judge you for it.

She knew everything about Yurika's past and her problems and she knew about Yurika's relationship with her victims. She used that information to make Yurika trust her, but no matter how manipulative she was, she actually did protect Yurika from her stalkers and people who harassed her. Of course, that made Yurika like her even more, but when Takame did that, she genuinely wanted to protect Yurika because she didn't want her to go through anything like that.

[juniperjelly]

yknow ultimately the way i feel about the mob votes is just that there's prolly better ways to drive engagement with the community at this point. like as much vitriol as it breeds between players n towards mojang, you'd think they'd try something different this year, but either they or someone in charge of them doesn't really care, n it kinda sucks to see that.

[sceletaflores]

slippin' and slidin' all over you!

pair: logan howlett x fem!reader

wc: 4k

contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, sweating, mutual masturbation, sweat licking (i don't know???), not-so-dry humping, p in v, JUST THE TIP RAHHH, creampie, fingering (fem!recieving), oral sex (fem!receiving), come swapping, come eating, literally over four thousand words of pure nasty smut, this is gross lowkey, idk i'm h*rny, porn w/o plot, no use of y/n.

nat’s note: very much not the winner or even an option of the poll i posted last week but...shhh don't hate me. it’s october and over 80 every single day, what the fuck is that? only good thing that came from this heat is thoughts of nasty sweaty sex with logan. once again shoutout to my wonderful husband @ebodebo for reading this over for me (i successfully changed her vendetta against sucking up some man sweat...which was the real point of this fic tbh) go give her fics some love if you're a slut for ghost! kisses!

logan forgot to fix the ac...

It's too hot out to be alive. 36°C and sunny.

One of the hottest days in recent memory for Alberta, and you're really feeling it.

"Remind me," you say slowly, the first words spoken in almost ten minutes. "How many times did I ask you to fix the air conditioner?"

"Don't start," Logan says from his spot across the room. His head is tipped back to rest on the couch cushion, eyes slipped shut.

You ignore him, lazily rolling your head to the side to look at him through squinted eyes, your brows furrowed in thought. "Was it ten? Or maybe thirteen?"

Logan huffs a breath, slow and heavy, but he doesn't move--doesn't even open his eyes. “I said don’t start,” he mutters again, though there’s the faintest edge of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Don't worry baby," you say, voice pitched lower in a terrible impersonation of Logan. "I'll get to it, promise. Won’t get too hot for another couple months."

Logan finally cracks an eye open, just enough to give you a sideways glance, his mouth twitching with amusement. "You done?"

You hum noncommittally, the sound lingering in the air like the lazy summer breeze doing nothing to cool the temperature outside. Your gaze slips down the side of his face to trace the jut of his jaw, then lower to the sweaty column of his neck. 

Both you and Logan lost most of your clothes earlier in the day, too hot to bother wearing anything but underwear. You trudged around the house like zombies until you finally gave up on trying to be productive, you both ended up in the living room. 

All the windows are cracked open, trying in vain to let in any cool air. You claimed the armchair closest to the fan, refusing to be anywhere near Logan and the massive heat wave he constantly gives off.

Logan’s on the couch, stripped down to the thinnest pair of sleep shorts you’ve ever seen. His chest is bare, glistening with a thin sheen of sweat that mats the dark hair dusted along his pecs to his skin. 

You can’t help the way your eyes follow the drops of moisture that slide slowly down the contours of his abs. A low heat starting to swirl through your gut when it disappears into his happy trail.

It's funny. When you basically peeled yourself off your mattress this morning, sex was the absolute last thing on your mind.

Now, as your eyes glide over the strong expanse of Logan's body on full display, you're having second thoughts.

Maybe it just comes with the heat. That sort of slow, syrupy feeling that slides along your overheated skin to pulse pleasantly between your thighs.

A bead of sweat slides down the length of your spine slowly, falling until it soaks into the damp waistband of your panties. You try to not notice how Logan is halfway across the room, not touching you.

You fail.

“It’s just a shame, though,” you start, fingers idly toying with the hem of your tank top. “If it was cooler, I could come over there.”

You slide a leg up, letting it rest against the wooden rest, newly exposed skin gleaming under the sunlight filtering in. 

The move isn't lost on Logan. You see his jaw clench slightly, the tiniest shift in his posture.

"Something you wanted?" Logan asks, his voice going low and teasing. "Looks like you've been gettin' yourself all worked up over there."

“Just thinking,” you reply, shifting slightly on the sticky leather of the chair.

Logan’s fingers twitch at his sides, his chest rising and falling with slow, measured breaths. His eyes slide the rest of the way open, his gaze heavy and lingering as it ventures down to where your thin shirt sticks to your skin, outlining every curve.

“Oh yeah?” he prompts, his voice a little rougher now. “Thinkin’ about what, baby?”

“You,” you say easily, fingers slipping down to your thigh. You bring your other leg up, perching it against the opposite armrest. Your thighs spread wide enough that you know Logan has a full view of the wet spot growing along the gusset of your panties.

The hitch in Logan’s breath has you stifling a smug smile, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch the way his chest starts rising faster.

"That's real sweet, sugar," he drawls, an unimpressed look on his face as he drags his eyes back up to your own. "But if you're tryin' to get me over there, you're gonna have to do better than that." His voice slides through the air heavy and warm like molasses.

You bite back a grin, enjoying the slow game that's unfolding between the two of you. 

"Maybe I don’t want you to come over here," you let your fingers trail a little lower, just to the edge of your panties, teasing. “Maybe I like you right where you are.”

Logan’s brow raises, his thighs tensing before he spreads them just a touch wider. The fabric of his boxers goes taut over the strong muscle, riding up to expose even more hairy skin to your greedy eyes.

"You're playin' with fire, kid," he warns.

The tent in his shorts is obvious now, the hard length of his cock pressing against the fabric where it lays across his thigh. Your other hand twitches by your side at just the sight, your pussy throbbing with the sudden need to be filled.

"Am I?" you murmur, your fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your panties, just enough to make sure he knows exactly where this is headed. ”It’s not like you’re going to do anything about it, you’re too busy pouting."

With a deliberate slowness, you slide your fingers lower, brushing against your clit with just enough pressure to let out a soft gasp at the contact. You arch your back slightly, relishing in the way the air feels against your skin, hot and sticky.

You want him to see how badly you need him—how his heat is the only thing that could truly satisfy the insatiable ache building between your legs.

Logan's nostrils flare, jaw tightening and eyes darkening at the sight of you teasing yourself. His restraint is slipping, and you can practically feel the tension building in the room, thick and stifling like the oppressive summer heat. 

But he still doesn’t move, doesn’t rush over like you expect him to. Instead, he shifts his hips slightly, spreading his legs wider and letting his hand fall on his thigh. 

You can’t help the way your breath quickens at the sight, the way his fingers drift dangerously close to his own growing bulge, teasing you just as much as you’re teasing him. 

You tilt your head to the side, gazing at him through your lashes. “You're really just gonna leave me hanging?” you goad, fingers circling lazily around your sensitive clit. “Come on stud, whip it out.”

Logan chuckles low, a sound that sends shivers through you. "Is that what you want, baby?" he asks, voice thick and taunting, a smirk curling on his lips. “You want me to whip it out for you?”

“Yeah,” you murmur breathlessly, biting your lip as you maintain eye contact, your breath starting to come in short bursts. “I need to see you, Logan. Need to see how hard you are for me.”

“Need to, huh,” he muses slowly, fingers finally grazing over the hard length of his cock. “What’s in it for me?”

“How about this?” You slip your hand out from your ruined panties, fingers glistening with your own wetness as you hook your thumbs on either side and drag them down your legs.

You let the soaked cotton fall to the floor, leaving you completely exposed to him.

Logan’s pupils dilate, an inky black completely swallowing the warm hazel. He licks his lips slowly, the tip of his tongue running along his teeth like he wants to sink them into you. His cock twitches visibly beneath his shorts, the growing tension in the air between you thick enough to choke on.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, his voice low and gravelly, more of a growl than a word.

You smile, shifting in the chair to give him an even better view, your legs spreading wider. "Yeah?" you purr, running your fingers over your slick inner thigh, feeling the heat radiating from your own skin. “You like what you see?”

Logan swallows hard, his hand finally slipping beneath the waistband of his shorts, palming his cock as he watches you. “You know I do,” he says, voice rougher than before. 

You let your hand trail back down to your clit, rubbing it in slow, teasing circles as you hold his gaze. “Then show me, Logan,” you whisper, your voice almost a plea now. "I wanna see you."

Logan lets out a low, rumbling groan, his fingers making quick work of shoving his shorts down enough to free his cock. It springs free to slap lewdly against his stomach and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips at the sight.

He strokes himself slowly to start, his eyes locked on you, watching your every reaction, feeding off the way your chest rises and falls in quick, shallow breaths.

"Like this?" he asks, his tone taunting as he strokes himself from base to tip, his thumb swiping over the head with a low hiss. “That what you wanted?”

Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him, straining and in his hand. The sight of his thumb brushing over the tip of his cock sends a hot, electric pulse through your body, your hand between your legs moving in time with his slow strokes.

"Yeah," you whisper, voice trembling with need. "Just like that."

You slip your hand lower, sliding two fingers inside yourself with a low moan. Logan groans like he’s the one being touched, his hand speeds up, eyes glued to where your fingers disappear in your slick heat.

His cock leaks pre-come over his knuckles each time his fist passes over the dripping head, the wet sound of it mixing with the low hum of the fan and your own breathy sighs.

"You look so fuckin' good like this honey," Logan groans, his voice rough, strained. "All spread out, playing with that pretty pussy for me."

You whimper at his words, your body aching for more than just your own touch. You need him, need the feel of his rough hands on your skin, his mouth, his cock—anything.

Your fingers move faster, slipping deeper inside with each pump, but it’s still not enough. The stretch is nothing compared to taking Logan, to the feeling of him carving a place for his thick cock inside your pussy, hitting that spot inside you that your fingers can’t quite reach.

Your hips buck up towards your hand, your back arching off the chair as your free hand clutches the armrest tightly.

Logan’s pace quickens, his fist pumping his cock with a new urgency, heavy balls bouncing with every rough tug.

“God, look at you, such a needy fuckin’ thing” he growls, chest heaving as his gaze flicks between your flushed face and the glistening mess you’re making of yourself like he can’t decide where to look. “You want it bad, don’t you?”

"Please," you whine, desperation creeping into your voice. Too keyed up to draw this out any longer. “I need you inside me, Logan. I can’t take it anymore.”

Logan groans, a sound that rumbles deep in his chest. His hand falters slightly on his cock, squeezing hard around the base as your words push him dangerously close to the edge. His jaw clenches, eyes raking over you, and with a growl, he stands. 

The last threads of his restraint snapping.

 He crosses the room in two long strides, towering over you where you sit. His cock swollen and hard, sways between his legs with every step, glistening with pre-come that drips to the floor. His eyes, hooded and burning, drink you in as he reaches down, yanking your hand away from your slick heat.

“Thought you said it was too hot to move,” you tease breathlessly, unable to quit egging him on even when your legs start to tremble with need, spreading wider to welcome him.

Logan ignores you, tugging your hand to his lips. Your breath catches in your chest, a weak moan escaping you as he takes your soaked fingers in his mouth. His tongue swirling along your skin to taste you, his eyes never leaving yours as he does.

“Changed my mind,” he growls, strong hands rough and possessive as they drop your wrist and haul you out of the chair so he can spin around, collapsing into it with you in his lap. The wood gives a warning creak beneath you but neither of you care.

Not when his mouth is on yours, hot and demanding as he slides his tongue past the seam of your lips. The heat radiating off his body is suffocating, but you welcome it—craving the weight of him on you.

You melt against him, feeling the hard planes of his body against yours, every inch of him alive and pulsating with need. Logan’s hands find their way to your hips, fingers digging in just enough to send a rush coursing through you.

It’s intoxicating, the way he devours you, his hands exploring every inch of your back, grasping and pulling you impossibly closer. 

The hard jut of his cock presses against your thigh, a thick plane of heat that makes your pussy throb with need. You shift your hips, grinding down on him in messy circles.

“You feel that?” he growls, lips brushing against your ear. “That’s all for you, darlin’.”

“Need you,” you whimper, grinding down against him faster, desperate for the friction that sends pleasure rippling through you. “Please, Logan, I need you inside me now.”

“Hold on, baby,” he murmurs, his voice low and husky, sending sparks all up your spine.

He dips his head, capturing your lips again, while his hands roam hungrily down your sides, fingers curling around your thighs to urge your legs open wider. “You wanna tease me, you’re gonna have to get off just like this.”

Logan angles his hips so that his cock slips between your drenched folds the next time you roll your own down.

The hot, slick glide sends electric shocks of pleasure racing through you, your body responding instinctively to his touch. You gasp against his lips, fingers tangling in his hair as you push down, desperate for more.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ wet,” he growls, his voice dripping with lust as he watches your movements with hungry eyes. “Just for me, huh? She’s droolin’ just for me.”

You nod breathlessly, chasing the friction, craving the feel of him so close. You lift your hips and rock back down again, the blunt head of his cock brushing against your swollen clit, and you feel your body pulse in response. 

“More,” you plead, leaning in to nibble at his lower lip. “I need it.”

Logan pulls away, shaking his head with a wicked grin. “Come on, tough shot,” he says, giving your ass a quick smack and kneading the tender flesh in his hand roughly. “You’re gonna come like this, you can do it baby.”

You whine, dropping your chin to your chest. Your hands find his shoulders, nails digging crescent moons into the strong muscle. Your chest slips slickly against his, the front of your tank almost entirely soaked with sweat.

Yours or his, it doesn't matter. The white cotton turned transparent enough that your breasts are on full display, nipples hard and visible.

You watch a single bead of sweat make its way down the length of his throat. It trickles down and down and down until it dips between the pronounced muscles of his chest.

You duck your head, dragging your tongue up the valley of his pecs. A deep moan bursts from your lips, pussy drooling more slick over Logan’s cock at the coarse feel of his thick hair on your tongue, at the heady taste of his sweat filling your senses.

Logan groans, hands tightening their hold on your waist. The dull ache his strength leaves behind is enough to let you know that two hand shaped bruises will be blooming over your skin by tomorrow morning. 

“Come on, girly,” he encourages, nipping at the sweaty column of your throat, the sharp points of his teeth scraping along the sensitive skin deliciously. “Fuck me, give it to me good.”

Your hips speed up, his hard cock sliding through the slick folds of your cunt faster. The tip bumps against your clit deliciously with every move, smearing pre-come along the way to add even more to the mess between your legs.

“Gonna fuckin’ fill you up,” he groans, breath puffing warm and hot agasint the slick skin of your lips. “Pump you so full of my come you’ll be leakin’ for a goddamn week.”

He shifts underneath you, the tip of his cock catching on your entrance just enough for it to push inside on the next grind of your hips.

The barely there fullness has you coming with a sharp cry, nails roughly dragging down Logan’s back hard enough to leave red welts that heal as you go.

The pain mixing with the pleasure of finally getting to feel the warm, wet suction of your pussy has Logan coming with a rough shout of your name. He throws his head back, hands tightening their grip on your hips enough to have your bones grinding together as he pumps you full of his come. 

“Logan…” you mewl, your pussy fluttering over the tip of his cock, greedy little clenches like you're trying to suck him the rest of the way in. Drunk on the way his release paints your insides, how you can feel each thick spray coating your walls to claim you in the rawest way.

Logan pulls back just far enough to meet your gaze, his eyes dark and smoldering as he watches you squirm in his lap.

"You’re not tapping out on me already, are you?" he teases, his voice rough and gravelly. "I thought you were tougher than that."

A weak, breathy laugh escapes you, but it’s cut short when he applies just a little more pressure, making your thighs quiver. "Not tapping out," you manage between shallow breaths, your head falling back against the chair. "But you’re—fuck—you’re insatiable."

Logan smirks, leaning in to nip at the sensitive skin of your throat, his teeth scraping just enough to send shivers coursing through you.

"When it comes to you, baby?" he murmurs against your skin, the heat of his breath fanning over your pulse point. "Fuckin’ always."

A lazily smile takes over your lips as you tighten your core and push, the rest of Logan’s come leaking out over his fingers. Logan groans, pressing his forehead to your shoulder to try and ground himself.

His cock throbs where it sways heavily between his thighs, still hard and ready to go even after he just came. His hand slips down your body, thick fingers running through the creamy mess of come and slick to messily push it back inside you.

“Fuckin’ shit, honey,” he groans lowly, pressing his thumb to your clit. “You’re gonna kill me.” 

Before you can respond, he stands again, gently placing your trembling form back into the chair and dropping to his knees in front of you.

Your breath hitches, legs widening despite the way your pussy shakes with overstimulation, like you can’t help but spread your legs for Logan anytime he wants.

Logan smirks up at you from between your legs, his lips already ghosting over the inside of your thigh. "Look at you," he growls, voice low and filled with lust. "Still so needy."

The slick heat of his tongue runs along your folds, lapping at the mess he just made of you. You let out a sharp gasp, thighs trembling as your fingers weave into his hair, tugging him closer.

The sensation is overwhelming—the rough, demanding pace of his tongue as it swirls around your clit, teasing you, while his hands grip your thighs with bruising force. Keeping you exactly where he wants you, keeping you spread open for his tongue.

Your body arches off the chair with a loud cry, every nerve alight with raw pleasure as he feasts on you, his growls vibrating against your sensitive skin.

"Fuck! Logan," you moan breathlessly, head falling back as you try to keep up with the sensations he's pulling from you.

The heat that was pooling low in your belly reignites, stoked by the way his tongue flicks faster against your clit, each stroke sending you higher.

Logan doesn’t let up, his tongue delving deeper, drinking in every moan, every shaky gasp as he drives you closer to the edge. He moans into your pussy, his own arousal clear in the way his hips buck into the air, seeking any kind of friction.

You tug on his hair harder, desperate for more, for release. "Logan, please," you whimper, your voice barely above a whisper, thick with need.

"Atta’ girl," he rasps, his voice thick with desire as he watches your face contort with pleasure. "So fuckin’ pretty like this. You gonna give me another one, baby? Gonna come for me again?"

Every lick, every rough squeeze to your thighs, every teasing stroke sends you spiraling closer to that edge you’re dying to reach again. You can feel the heat radiating off him, his breath hot against your soaked skin and driving you wild.

“Logan, I—” You gasp, fingers tightening in his hair, urging him closer, closer, closer. “I’m so close—”

His eyes flick up to meet yours, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, nose and jaw glistening in your juices.

"Give it to me," he growls, the rough rasp of his voice sending a shiver through your overheated body. "I wanna feel you come on my tongue."

It’s all the encouragement you need. With a strangled cry, your body tenses, thighs quaking as the orgasm crashes over you.

Logan keeps his mouth on you, tongue working you through every pulse, drawing it out until you’re trembling and gasping, your body boneless in the chair.

When you finally come down, panting and spent, Logan pulls away. With one last kiss pressed over your clit, he makes his way up your body, not dropping eye contact as he settles over you.

His hand comes up to your face, thumbs meanly hooking into either side of your cheeks to gently force your mouth open. You part your lips willingly, the heat still radiating between you, a mix of lingering pleasure.

Logan leans in, and the intoxicating scent of sweat and sex surrounds you as he spits what he collected from between your legs back into your own mouth. 

Your cheeks burn with shame, a broken moan ringing through the space between you. Your glassy eyes stare into Logan’s, his own gaze so intense and all consuming you fight the urge to squirm.

"Swallow," he commands, unwavering. 

You hesitate for just a moment, caught off guard by the pure audacity, but the way his eyes darken with hunger makes your resolve crumble. With a breathless whimper, you obey, tasting the remnants of your own pleasure mingling with his, the act both humiliating and intensely arousing.

Logan watches you closely, his gaze never straying as you swallow, a dirty smirk creeping onto his lips. “That's my girl,” he praises, his tone thick with satisfaction.

As the taste lingers on your tongue, you can feel the weight of Logan’s stare like a physical touch.

“Think you can handle another round?” he teases, his voice low and sultry. “I don’t plan on letting you off that easy, kid. Not with all that mouthing off earlier.”

You catch your breath, shaking your head in exasperation. “You’re relentless,” you whisper, a hint of laughter in your voice, though your body betrays you, already craving more.

“Only for you, baby” he replies, brushing the strands of hair plastered to your sweaty forehead behind your ear. “Only for you.”

tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!

mini nat's note: i started my period today chickens...that explains it...

[neverendingford]

.

[hazbinbabbling4ever]

It's almost as if ace people also want to look cute and don't have a moral obligation to dress like a mormon elementary school teacher (unless that's the vibe they want) just because they're ace?? It's almost as if ace people might want to dress cute by highlighting the parts they like about themselves and it doesn't have to be sexual at all... Like, I like to highlight my waist and people have said I'm dressing too "sexily" and "attention seeking" for someone who's not interested in flirting around. Like??? Can't a woman just dress in peace now? It's almost as if women/femme presenting/androgynous/any identity even remotely feminine-looking, all of us are burdened by preset rules and preconceptions, like "if you show this and cover that you're sEnDiNg A mEsSaGe". No Karen, I just want to exist and look cute in my clothes at the same time, there's no hidden agenda in my heels or in my synced waist, stop reading into everything.

The outfit

So if someone is asexual they have dress like a nun or something???

[lesbianpikachu]

.

[pomefioredove]

need overblot boys with epel, and floyd with a reader that randomly lore drops as if they're an old dad like "yeah lol my old school had a shooting once....anyways *SNOREE*" and when asked they just agree and walk away and never elaborate whatsoever💀 if you feel uncomfortable feel free to delete or ignore‼️love ya pookie💥

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ a reader with a backstory

I got u 🫡🫡

summary: wacky reader lore type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

you find new ways to raise Riddle's blood pressure every day

little guy is worried enough as it is

you've already got your school work, taking care of Ramshackle, taking care of Grim, taking care of all the other freshmen, taking care of-

well... you get it

the last thing he needs is to hear another one of your stories

"oh, yeah, that's like the time I got stabbed"

"????? WHAT??"

what's entertaining to you and ADeuce is mortifying to Riddle

if you're not careful you'll end up sleeping on the floor in his room

where he can keep a close eye on you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

you're like Leona's little court jester

and he takes you with him everywhere

it's not easy to get a genuine laugh out of him, after all

besides, what's so bad about a little dark humor? it's not like you died or anything

he knows you're a resilient little thing

and you seem to love telling him about "that time you crawled into a drainage pipe", anyway

you make him laugh; he likes you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul indulges you

his white noise machine stopped working last month and you make for excellent background ambience

so, he lets you talk yourself in circles about your school work, your friends, Grim, Grim again

and then you drop the most HEINOUS bombshells in the middle

"blah blah blah Grim, blah blah Crowley, blah blah, that one time I got lost in the woods for a day, blah blah-"

he loses his train of thought every time

now, Floyd is the complete opposite

he will hyperfocus on the most mundane details

and ignore the bombshells

will give you an, "oh, that's cool" to your ghost story but will find you the pair of socks you mentioned liking three months ago

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jamil is just fascinated by you

you as a person, of course

but also the fact that you're still alive

one night, he's explaining the reason he makes all of Kalim's food and you're like

"oh, yeah, I get it. I got mold poisoning once and hallucinated for a week"

?????

then you go right back to asking him about the recipe

sitting on the counter, as happy as could be

"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!!!"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil is used to this

he knows that look on your face

he will shush you with a finger to your lips before you even start

"don't tell me, I'm stressed enough as it is"

he's going to break out if you keep at it

he finds you quite... macabre

which is entertaining until he sees you going down a flight of stairs without holding onto the railing and remembers all those stories you'd told him

he's just... concerned for you, that's all

and he does NOT appreciate Epel for encouraging it

"tell us more about the time you fell down that hill into that pile of rocks, Prefect!"

:D

like a kid in a candy store

learning new Lore is like the highlight of his week

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"talk about having a high luck stat..."

Idia is more entertained than anything

he thought these kinds of things only happened in anime, but...

...there you are

it sounds like you experience more in a single month than he has in his whole life

and you know what?

GOOD

you can keep your freaky real-world experiences!

he'll just live vicariously through you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

poor Malleus

he's been putting so much effort into learning and blending with human culture, and now here you are with your terrifying stories

you tell him in such earnest, too

you seem so... unbothered by it

perhaps humans are less fragile than he thought?

of course, he shouldn't have underestimated you in the first place :)!

then you come over for dinner one night

"hahah, yeah, last time I was at someone's house their grandma threw a lamp at my head and I got a concussion"

Silver and Sebek both go >_>

Lilia goes <_<

and then Malleus is there like, "ah, another fascinating tale :)"

[moongirl0305]

Don't hide this in the tags, omg!!

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.