#it is not simply just one fucken thing

[z00r0p4]

"heavy phone usage is not causing teen depression-- lack of third spaces is" ITS BOTH. ITS BOTH. ITS. BOTH.

[unhingedgirlythings]

FUCK IT

SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.

Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life

A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.

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You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!

You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.

Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.

Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.

His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.

Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”

you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.

wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.

“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”

“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses

The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.

The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.

[michaela-o]

Random things i think Cybertronians would find adorable about humans~♡ Pt. 2

1. Us getting scared by small things

Humans jumping or screaming at a bug, sudden noise, or a scare prank would probably seem hilarious to the bots, who would be 100% amused by how easily humans can be startled. I bet MANY bots would take advantage of this when there would be a lil human on the lost light. Bots like Whirl, Trailbreaker sometimes Swerve that would like to scare the human despite them telling him not to.

Ya all know the vine video? With guy that goes: "Aaah stoop im gonna drop my criossant."

Yes that XDD

2. Us getting lost even with maps or GPS

I personally have terrible sense of direction and orientation (*p_q*) And some bots catching humans struggle with directions, even with GPS, would be both puzzling and funny to them. They always wonder how humans get lost so easily. But come on give the lialison a break the lost light is fucken HUGE.

3. Getting “hangry”

I mostly get tired when i'm hungry but when im also irritated i become hangry. I think bots would find humans getting irritable when they’re hungry both funny and perplexing to them who might see it as an amusing “malfunction” due to our a basic need.

4. Human body “glitches”

Hiccups, sneezes or random muscle twitches and similar reflexes would be entertaining to the bots, who’d find these involuntary responses both weird and amusingly unpredictable especially when we tell them that we can't control them. Get ready to be friendly bullied for this by some of the bots.

Human sitting over on Swerve's bar counter: *sneezes*

Whirl: What the frag was that sound? A sparkling's war cry?

Human: ( ｡ớ︿ờ)

5. Collecting random souvenirs

Humans collecting small souvenirs, like seashells, keychains, or mugs from places they visit, would be amusing to Cybertronians, who might see it as an odd way of marking memories. Since from what i was reading in comics i didn't see any bots do this and i think they would find this pretty adorable. Almost like we materialize memories.

We are all like crows :3

6. Huddling for warmth

When humans instinctively huddle together or bundle up in thick layers when we're cold. Bots would simply find it cute amd definitively have to fight the yrge to just- squish-

Our need to find warmth and the cozy solutions we come up with would seem quaint and endearing (*´˘`*)

7. Gathering in groups for safety

The way we instinctively form groups, especially in unfamiliar or intimidating and scary situations would be both cute and a bit amusing to bots who might see it as humans’ way of finding strength in numbers despite their physical smallness. But we find great comfort in it ( *^艸^*)

8. Soothing or hugging each other in stress

When we instinctively comfort each other with hugs or reassuring words would be adorably puzzling to the bots, who’d find it endearing that humans can find peace in such small, gentle gestures. I bet a bot that is visibly sad would be pretty surprised when the human lialison comes up to them and just hug their servo and ask if they want to talk about it. It personally makes me happy when i can comfort and help someone in need ( ｡ớ ᴗờ)

9. Making eye contact to connect

Humans instinctively make eye contact to establish trust or share feelings, which many bots would find very intimate, sincere and honest because it shows how deep the personal nature of human connection can go ( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ )

(bots getting lost in human's eyes is one of my guilty pleasures)

10. Fighting for what’s important

We humans naturally stand up for our values, friends, and families, often driven by an instinct to protect or defend what we love. I think bots would find this fierce loyalty and bravery adorably noble for such a small species such as us. I even think that many would take us for an example in this (｡>ㅅ<｡)

11. Helping others instinctively

Cybertronians would likely find this endearing that humans instinctively help each other out—whether holding open a door, picking up dropped items, or offering support without being asked. This is the very nature that makes us human (*´▽`*)

12. Blushing when embarrassed or flustered

The way our cheeks turn pink or red when we're shy, embarrassed, or flustered would be extremely cute to the bots, who’d see it as a “giveaway” that adds to our vulnerability and the fact that we just can't hide our emotions makes us very emotionaly transparent is just straight up adorable.

13. The way the human brain is so simple

I personaly am very simple human being and i find many stupid and simple things funny and laugh at them. I think because of this many bots would find us very innocent and adorable

(｡>▽<｡)

AAAAARRRGH there's so many other things i wanna write but i decided to make part two of this bc i enjoy writing this stuff. Dis a good soup :33

(i might add a small masterlist to my pinned post :3)

[briefalpacashark]

~Cowboys and Men~ Part One ~

Synopsis : The 141 have to play cowboys.

================================================

You sat along with the other boys of the 141 as you stared at Laswell. She had just delivered the news of your next mission.

“Well shit,” you grin widely. Why? The mission was right up your alley. You had personal experience practically having grown up in the thick of it. The boys, however. You were almost certain that none of them had even come close to anything like it.

The mission. Going undercover in an American rodeo. 

“So you want us to play cowboy?” Price asked.

“That’s right. Long enough till you find this guy and bring him in,” she stated tapping her knuckle on a photo of the target. An older man with a grim surrounded by gray hair and a killer mustache.

“Y/N you'll be the one participating in the rodeo. The boys will be your team,” Laswell explained simply. 

“Her team?” Jonny asked, jabbing his thumb at you. “Why can't I be the horse rider huh?” he asked.

“Can you ride a horse?” Laswell asked.

“Well no, canne be hard, can it?” his question had you chuckling.

“Its an invite only event, we've got a contact. You'll head out tomorrow to show him what you got. He'll slot you in where he can,” Laswell focused on you as she spoke.

“Sure thing boss,” you nodded.

“Honestly Laswell, I think I could do a pretty good job,” Jonny stated.

“The fact that you think a rodeo only involves horses proves how unqualified you are for it,” You stated.

“And you are?” Jonny asked.

“I grew up in the saddle of a horse, mate. You're looking at a genuine drover,” you gestured to your body with a smirk.

“The fuck is a drover?” Jonny asked the rest of the team. Gaz simply shrugged.

“Alright dismissed,” Laswell said. 

You were quickly dispatched to the good old US of A. You were dropped off in a random field via helicopter. Your team walked up to two men on horseback. The one on the left was tall and buff with golden hair to die for. The other was slightly shorter and stubbier. But they both had one thing in common. They looked like genuine cowboys. Hats and everything.

“Howdy!” Jonny called with a terrible American accent.

“Fucken hell,” you chuckled, shaking your head.

“Forgive him. He's hit his head a few too many times,” Price stated.

“That stunt his growth too?” The blond asked. Your laugh broke through your lips as Jonny’s smile fell.

“The one you just shut up is Soap, that's Gaz, Ghost. I’m Bravo and that’s Doc.” he pointed you all out the cowboys, tipping their hat’s to you.

“Ma’am, I heard you're the only one with experience in the saddle,” the smile the blond gave you was slightly flirtatious.

“Since I was two. Grew up on a cattle station over in Australia,” You stated walking up to him to give them both a firm handshake.

“How could you choose the military life over one in the saddle?” he asked.

“Plan to get back to it one day,” you said your attention being grabbed by his horse that tried to nibble your jacket.

“He's gorgeous. Mustang?” You asked, reaching up to brush his nose.

“Yes Ma’am,” he nodded. “Care for a ride?” he asked with a wink. You chuckled at his obvious flirting attempt.

“Sorry mate. Not planning in hoping in any saddle that aint my own,” you said, giving the horse a pat.  

“Alright, well, this is Sam, my name's Aurthur,” he stated.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Price stated spoke up drawing the attention off you. 

“Pleasures all ours, Come on by the looks of you, it seems like we've got some work to do,” he stated.

“Work of what?” Gaz asked.

“To make you a lot cowboys,” he said with a grin.

First order of business, if you were to pass for cowboys, you had to look the part. Aurthur generously offered to take you all shopping. Your choice was quick, picked out for practicality. A simple light blue button up. A pair of denim jeans, a comfortable pair of boots and your old hat. You pulled the beat up looking thing out of your bag. It was your simple cattleman hat shape, in a dusty brown colour. It was scuffed and dirty, but it was yours. Setting it atop your head, you smiled at the familiar feeling. Slipping on the dark leather jacket, you fixed the collar before stepping out of the changing room.

“Look out,” Jonny stated from their allocated seats, all gathered in front of the changing rooms.

“So how do I look?” You asked, giving them a little pose.

“Like one hell of a rider,” Aurthur spoke up.

“So so,” Gaz tilted his hand back and forth.

“Oh yeah, let's see you do better,” you said tauntingly.

“Watch a master at work,” Gaz stated. You all waited for his outfit choice. When he stepped out you almost died of laughter. Tassels, tassels and fringe everywhere. On his head sat a bright red Tom Mix hat.

“What you don't think it's good?” he asked jokingly. 

“You look like you'll fly away in a light breeze,” Jonny joked.

“Eat shit soap,” Gaz flipped him off.

“Nah, I'll show you how it's done,” Jonny spoke up. Yells of shock sounded from you all as he walked out in a pair of assless chaps. Only they weren't assless. In fact you saw a lot of ass due to the fact that Jonny only wore the chaps. Nothing else. He held a small bowler's hat in front of his privates as he pretended to act confused. He turned around, giving you a clear view of his rosy red cheeks.

“Fucken hell,” you chuckled, tipping your hat down to cover your gaze.

“You know, I don't think I put these on in the right order,” he stated. Even the Price cracked a chuckle or two.

“Might get a rash ridding a saddle like that,” Ghost stated.

“I like it,” you said. Jonny gave you a wink.

“Come on Captain,” Jonny encouraged Price when his ass was contained again. 

Price walked out in a good pairing. A deep red button up, a pair of jeans, some lovely light brown boots, a light brown fleece jacket and a white brick shaped hat. 

“Captain my captain,” You whistled.

“Where did you find that fashion sense cap?” Ghost asked.

“Quiet you,” Price warned playfully.

“You know those videos where a baby sees their dad with their beard shaved for the first time and they just break out crying,” You asked. Jonny hummed in acknowledgment.

“I feel like that with that hat he's wearing,” you whispered. Jonny chuckled.

“Alright Ghost your turn,” Jonny said slapping Ghost shoulder. Ghost slowly moved his eyes from the captain to Jonny daring him to hit him again.

“Alright, be that way grumpy,” Jonny muttered. “Guess it's my turn again,” he stated. With your help, Jonny walked out in a tight black long sleeve shirt, a denim jacket and jeans. Black boots and a brown rolled brim with a puncher crown. He looked alright apart from the obviously large belt buckle he wore. A picture of a bulls head engraved on it.

“Compensating?” you asked, nodding to the buckle, getting a bird flipped to you.

“At least his ass is covered this time,” Ghost grumbled. Gaz tried again, deciding on a cowboy version of a lumberjack. Plated shirt with a vest jacket, a dark blue pair of jenes and a black version of his original hat. 

“Careful Gaz, that shirt looks a little tight,” Jonny called.

“That's the point,” Gaz stated with a smirk flexing his biceps.

“They can try all they want. The look of a cowboy is something that comes naturally. A look, ma’am that if you'll let me say looks extremely good on you,” Arthur leaned down to whisper to you. You smirked, shrugging.

“I don't know, I think they're pulling it off,” you stated. You chuckled as Gaz tried to perform his best cowboy walk. Hand on his belt and slaughtering forward before making a gun motion with his hand. And Jonny, who pretended to slow motion, to doge said bullets.

“Yeah sure,” Arthur muttered, making you chuckle harder. As you continued to watch Gaz and Jonny make a fool of themselves, you failed to notice a certain pair of eyes set on you. 

“Careful Lieutenant, you glare any harder and he might just get the message,” Price smirked as he saw the slightly pissed expression hidden behind the skull mask.

“Don't know what you mean, sir,” Ghost grumbled before walking away. 

Noticing Ghost's missing presence, you went to look for him, finding him in front of the many hats on display.

“Having trouble choosing?” You asked, walking up to him.

“Any pointers?” he asked.

“Can't help you there. This was my uncle's hat. He lost it when I won a bet,” you said.

“But,” you trailed off, your eyes searching through the hats. You smiled, reaching out to grab one.

“Yeah, this one,” you said, placing it on his head. It was low and pinched a grayish black.

“Yeah, that suits you,” you stated simply with a satisfied nod before walking away. 

When you all returned to the ranch, Simon changed into his outfit. Black jeans, dark brown boots, a black leather jacket and dark grey button up. On his head sat the hat you chose, and he still wore his skull balaclava.

“Well hello handsome,” Jonny called as he walked out to you.

“Zip it Mc’tavish,” he grumbled. Jonny chuckled as he walked up to you. In the pen Arthur walked out a horse already saddled up. Spotting other ranchers gathering round to watch with eager grins, you quickly assessed what was happening. It was a bucking horse, or at least one they were trying to break.

“Alright, lesson one of being a cowboy. Staying on a horse that doesn't want you to stay on,” Arthur stated with a wide grin.

“Any volunteers?” he asked. You chuckled, shaking your head as Jonny raised his hand eagerly.

“Love the spirit scots, man. This here is Bessy,” Arthur said, gesturing him forward. You whipped your mouth as Jonny confidently made his way into the pen.

“Ello Bessy,” he smirked. 

“I'd say goodbye to your balls now Soap, while you have the chance,” you called out to him.

“Ah, away with ye. I'll be fine,” Jonny waved you off.

“He's gonna eat shit isn't he?” Ghost asked folding his arms over his chest.

“All five courses of it,” you chuckled, pulling yourself up to sit on the railings. 

“He has medical cover right?” you asked Price that only shock his head at his soldier stupidity.

“Alright Soap. hold on tight,” After Arthur gave him a basic run down and when Jonny was sat comfortable in the saddle did he stepped back.

“You're gonna set a timer, wanna make sure there is proof when I stay on longer than those bastards,” Jonny nodded back to you all, giving you a wide confident grin as the horse started to pad at the ground.

“Sure thing, champ,” Arthur grinned. “Go on, give her a kick,” he suggested casually, taking a few cautious steps back. 

“What like this?” Jonny asked, kicking his heels gently into her sides. 

You knew pigs couldn't fly, but Jonny sure could. One buck had the poor man was out of the saddle onto the horses ass, then the second buck had the man cartwheeling through the air before landing flat on his ass his legs split in front of him. You and Gaz was practically dying of laughter as Jonny rolled around in pain holding his manly jewels. After Jonny’s poor first display, the ranchers started to pass around bets. 

“Who's next?” Arthur asked, turning to you lot.

Gaz sat on the back of Bessy looking like he was about to shit himself.

“Ok what do I do?” he asked shakily.

“Hold on,” Arthur stated simply.

“I know that, but I don't know the first thing about horses. Do do I pat it?” he asked.

“Sure, it probably won't do you any good though,” Arthur shrugged walking back.

“Come on Gaz,” you called encouragingly.

“I changed my mind, I want to get down,” Gaz stated. As he shifted his weight in the saddle, Bessy fell into a fit. Bucking and kicking like crazy. Gaz lasted about four seconds before he was bucked off. 

“This is bullshit,” Gaz grumbled, limping back to you trying to remove the dirt from his mouth. 

“Are the betting on us?” Jonny asked nodding to the growing group.

“There ranchers, this is probably the best entertainment they've had all week,” you stated.

“Yeah well they should stop,” Gaz grumbled.

“Why? They're actually betting in your favor,” you lied.

“Really?” he asked with a small grin of hope.

“No,” you chuckled, shaking your head, Gaz's smile instantly falling.

“Your acting way too high and mighty or this,” Gaz stated.

“I think I'm acting the right amount of high and mighty for my skills,” You shrugged.

“Skills we haven't seen yet,” Gaz grumbled.

“I don't need to prove anything,” you shrugged.

“Well, if ye so confident in yourself lass. How bout a wee little bet?” Jonny asked.

“Depends on what it is,” you smirked. With the smirk Jonny already knew you accepted the bet. 

“If anyone of us can last longer than you, you owe us all a week of sick leave,” Jonny put the offer forward. In the military you need a doctor's note or your medic's permission to have a sick day. Which was practically impossible to get. You don't abuse your power but you didn't put up with their bullshit either. So they only ever got sick leave when they were actually sick. And not a man cold either, they had to actually be sick.

“And what do I get?” you asked.

“Bragging rights?” Jonny suggested.

“I'll settle for a picture of you in the outfit you rocked back at the shop,” you stated, pointing to him. Jonny grinned widely.

“Deal,” he said as you too shook on it. 

“You ready, boss?” Jonny asked, turning to Price.

“A week of sick leave, you said?” he asked, debating if he wanted to be a part of your shenanigans.

“Yes sir,” you nodded. 

“Right,” he muttered, pushing his hat further down on his head before slipping in the coral and shaking his jacket off his shoulders.

You had to give it to Price, he was pretty good. And he looked like he stepped right out of a cow boy movie. The mustache and the fit was just perfect. You sucked in a breath as he was thrown from the horse. Impressed cheers came from the others. He lasted almost ten seconds.

“Ghost?” Jonny suggested.

“I prefer to keep my balls unpopped,” Ghost grumbled.

“Guess that's me then,” You spoke up. Walking up to Bessy you smiled brushing her nose before walking round her to where Arthur stood.

“Need a hand?” he offered.

“Nah mate,” you said effortlessly, swinging yourself up onto the saddle and taking the reins in hand. The familiar creak of the leather saddle and the ruff feel of the reins was welcoming. You settled into the back of the saddle, leaning back slightly. You pressed your hat down far enough down your forehead that the only thing you saw was your hands and the horse's shoulder blades.

“Alright, lets fucking do this,” you whispered before gently kicking her. You leaned back as far as you could and pulled the reins tight as she bucked wildly. Your body was jerked about left and right back and forth, yet you held on. The boys had to admit they were impressed. The ranchers cheered as the seconds drew on. As you hit the thirty second mark you swore as the horse slammed up against the side of the railings. To avoid you leg getting crushed you lumped off, the force sending you flying over the fence, right into Arthur who just happened to be sitting stop it. The two of you hit the ground in a cloud of dust. A relatively soft fall for you due to you landing on the cowboy.

“Fuck you alright?” You asked as you quickly hopped off the poor man.

“Look at that, falling for you already,” he groaned, painfully accepting your hand to help him up.

“That line usually work?” you asked with a small smile. You had to admit he was kinda cute.

“Well I don't usually have pretty women tackling me off the fence but here we are,” he said. You chuckled, shaking your head picking up your hat.

“How long was that Jonny!?” You yelled across the coral.

“Too fucking long!” he yelled back. You grinned smugly making your way back over to the boys.

Gaz and Jonny were adamant on getting those sick days. Price opted in for a few more tries, coming only four seconds from your record before he called it quits.

“Not gonna have a go Ghost?” you asked nudging his side.

“Risk getting hurt before the mission, not likely,” he stated as you watched Jonny narrowly avoid a broken bone. 

“Fair enough,” you muttered. The boys could not beat your best. With bruised bodies and prides you all retired to your a few spar rooms in the bunkhouse.

The next morning, you all gathered before dawn. Arthur said you were gonna learn how to ride. The boys walking a bit slower than they usually would. You were all assigned horses. Ghost and Price and Gaz were going well after some instruction. And Jonny. Well let's just say he wasn't built to ride horses. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. Loud laughs sounded as the horse started to trot slightly, sending your little scotsman's bouncing rapidly in his saddle.

“Fu-Uck En H-EL-LL,” he said through bounces as his head bobbled around. You rode up to him gently pulling on the rains to get the horse to slow down.

“Come on Mate. your ancestors road these guys into battle,” You said.

“Nah, these are American horses. If it was a scottish horse I would be grand,” he stated definitely. Amused by his logic, you just shook your head. To your surprise, Simon pulled up on the other side of Jonny. “Having a bit of trouble there?” Ghost asked smuggle. “Fuck Ye LT,” Jonny grunted, trying to glare only for him to slid sideways in the saddle. You reached out holding his jacket to keep him steady as he readjusted. Ghost smirked before trotting forward. You rode up to his side looking over his posture, one hand resting on his thigh, the other holding both the reins. 

“You’ve done this before,” you stated.

“When I was a kid,” he muttered.

“It shows, You're a natural,” you said.

“Not as good as you,” he said.

“Oh stop it, you'll make me blush,” you grinned. He glanced over at your smile, grunting in response.

“So this is your dream, huh?” he asked. Your grin turned into a fond smile.

“Yeah. I want a nice plot of land in the tablelands,” you stated.

“Table lands?” Ghost asked.

“I'll admit you guys have some nice green pastures in England. But the tablelands. Man, it's something different altogether. Rolling green hills right out of a picture book. It's high up, lots of rain, and rainforests. Fog will roll over the hills in the cold mornings and arvos. I'll have five horses, shit ton of chickens and cows. Maybe a goat or two,” your shrugged. “Two dogs. One working kelpie and and little staffy,” you continued.

“A big old cottage that I built myself. Oh, it's gotta have a basement. Definitely a secret passage. Maybe a fake skeleton chucked in there.” your words had Simon smiling as his eyes settled on you. Settled on the sparkle of your eyes as you described it all.

“Oh and there will be this big ol tree. If I have a family I'll string it up with fairy lights and lanterns. I'll invite you boys round for week long adventures. Big ol fire place next to it,” you reminisce of a life that you possibly might never get to live. After all, your job wasn't necessarily safe.

“Oh so I’m a part of this future huh?” he asked. The instant your gaze turned to him he realized what he said. His face flushed as your smile became impossibly brighter.

“Of course,” you stated simply. Only when you did think of all those things you left out one key part. Whenever you thought about your future, the annoying prick in front of you would pop into the frame. Helping you build the cottage. Putting one of his masks on the fake skeletons. Him in the tree hanging up the lights. Him sitting next to you around the roaring fire. Clearing his throat his face flushed deeply as he looked back to the path in front of you. You didn't see the flush though. You simply saw him avoiding your gaze. For a moment, he wondered if he was having a heart attack. He thought it was the only explanation for his rapid heartbeat.

“Were going for a run care to join?” Arthur called back to you.

“Sure,” you called back. 

“So you ready to show me just how good you are?” You leaned over to Ghost with a taunting

“Perhaps,” he grunted.

“First one to the tree up on that ridge,” you suggested.

“Are we betting anything?” he asked.

“Bragging rights?” you shrugged. “On three?” you suggested.

“Alright, three,” he stated kicking his horse into a gallop. An excited grin stretched across your face as you did the same. The cantering group let out exclamations of surprise as you two zoomed past them in a full gallop. Even with his headstart you quickly caught up to him. Riding would forever feel different to everything in your life. It felt like flying, but so much more magical. As you were neck and neck you looked over to Ghost who looked to you. With a wink, you dropped the reins, opening your arms out as the horse pulled forward. You won by just an inch. 

The next day it was game time. You were strapped up and dressed up for your rodeo. You left a little earlier than the boys. You were hanging around beer in hand playing the part as Arthur introduced you to a few people. Chucking your watch you glanced at the time.

“They should be here by now,” you muttered.

“Speak of the devils,” Arthur muttered nodding behind you. A low whistle left your lips as you took them in.

As everyone took them in. Women, buckle bunnies and men had their eyes set on the group. They looked like a master piece of hot manliness. And you had to admit they looked good enough to have anyone's panties dropped with just a word. There boots kicking up dust as they strutted through the crowd. You swore the music was perfect of their entrance, looking like a scene out of a movie.

“Boys,” you nodded to them as they approached.

“Anna,” Price nodded to you. Your cover name for the mission.

“Come on, I've got to introduce you to someone,” Arthur stated beckoning you all over. You sucked in a small breath as he took you all to the target. 

“Tommy,” Arthur greeted the man like old friends.

“Arthur, how are you, my boy?” he asked. He was an older man, a true cowboy.

“Good Good,” Arthur nodded as they embraced.

“So you're the one Arthurs has been speaking about. You should know outsiders aren't usually welcome here,” the target stated as he turned to you.

“What scared of the challenge?” you asked with a teasing smile. The man paused a beat before breaking out into laughter.

“She's a spunk fire all right. Name’s Tom, everyone calls me Tommy,” he greeted holding his hand out to you.

“Anna,” you introduced yourself.

“Anna, you dont look like an Anna,” he said.

“Oh yeah, what do I look like?” you asked.

“Some real classy name. Like Evangeline or somethin,” he stated.

“Well, you certainly look like a Tommy,” you said.

“Why thank you ma’am,” he tipped his hat to you.

“And who are these fellas?” he asked turning to the boys.

“I'm her manager, Cole,” Price introduced himself. “These boys are on the team,” he stated, pointing to the rest who gave nods.

“I see, well fellas I'll see you out there,” he stated giving you another nod before walking off.

“So we grabbing him?” Jonny asked.

“To many people here,” Price mumbled.

“After the main event you'll have your chance, that's when he goes home,” Arthur said. You nodded, glancing around you. Fancy profession buckers were walking all round you. 

“Nervous Darling?” Arthur asked. The boys gaze snapped to him, some pissed of some surprised. The way American men say darling is just something different.

“I'm about to strap myself to a state of the art bucking horse. Of corse im fucking nervous,” you muttered.

“Don't worry. Come on, there are some other events before. Let's get you warmed up,” he stated. You needed to keep your mind occupied, so you agreed. Steer wrestling and roping was your go to. You didn't place first in anything but you didn't do too bad. The boys looked at you in a different light as you rode beside a young bull, jumping off your horse to wrestle it to the ground, flipping it over and tying its legs up. 

“God damn,” Jonny whispered as you stood to your feet holding your hands in the air.

“She's good, really good,” Arthur stated as he stood by the boys.

“That's our girl,” Price stated simply.

“So, what are you lot to her?” he asked.

“What?” Gaz asked squinting at the man.

“You lot seem real close. I know you're a team but I don't want to step on anyone's toes, I'm a gentle man like that,” he shrugged.

“What do you mean step on anyone's toes?” Price asked, his arms folding over his chest taking on the protective dad stance.

“Look if she's spoken for I'll back off. But I don't see no ring, and she calls you all by name. No pet names,” Arthur trailed off before turning to Ghost.

“So I guess im asking what are you to her,” the question was pointed at Ghost the boys quickly catching on. Ghost turned fully to him tucking his hand under his arm pits where his guns sat, hidden by his jacket. Although he made a point to let the smooth metal peek out.

“I'm the guy that fucks you up seven ways to Sunday if you hurt her,” his voice was deathly low, shaking Arthur up a bit. Yet it was Simon's glare that had the man really scared. 

But he also got the answer he wanted.

“So she's available?” Arthur pointed out with a grin.

================================================

=Cowboys and Men = Part Two here=

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~COD Master List Here~

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[cavegirlpoems]

Mortality in Black Death Rising

So. This game I'm making, Black Death Rising, uses a pretty OSR framework. That means PCs are fragile, right?

Yes and no.

PCs will hit 0 hp pretty quickly. A normal starting PC will have two dice of HP, one from their Nature (ie human, mimic, vampire, etc) and one from their class (ie cleric, knight, witch, etc). A d6 is typical for both, so you can expect a starting PC will have maybe 7 hp. A typical low-level enemy does maybe d8 damage on an attack. So, you can maybe tank one hit, but two will probably drop you.

What happens when you drop? It's not instant death. Rather, you look up the amount of damage you just took on a handy dandy table and this tells you what Horrible Thing has just happened to you. There are basically four possibilities:

You suffer an injury to a location, giving you a Disadvantage to rolls using it. At low damage, this will be temporary and heal quickly. At higher damage, the injury is harder to heal or even permanent.

You start bleeding out. This puts you on a timer of a few rounds: if you don't get medical attention in time, you die.

You're fucken dead. Maybe instantly, maybe with a delay, but either way death's certain.

Some combination of the above.

While you're on 0, this'll happen every time you're hit. So you'll get torn up pretty fast, and the chances are you'll die eventually.

So, death. When you die you have two choices:

Pass on. Proceed to Heaven/Purgatory/Hell/The Abyss as appropriate. You roll up a new PC, with a slight bonus for each of your previous PCs who's died.

Return from the dead. Take a point of Damnation, and return to life. Whatever your Nature was before, you replace it with an appropriate Undead one instead.

Being undead has some perks (such as immunity to Plague), but some significant downsides too. Necromancy and Turning Undead affects you, but more seriously you can't cure injuries to locations. Your body isn't alive and growing, the more harm it takes, the more permanent damage it suffers.

This means that mortality is a choice. When you get killed, you can choose to stay dead and go to your final reward, which is very noble. Your next character is a fresh start with a blank slate.

If you don't take that fresh start, though, its a process of slow degredation. Those injuries to locations will tick up over time, and you'll get more and more damned the more you cheat death, which also weakens you. There will come a point where - no matter how high level your dead PC - the accumulated damage to your body and soul means that as a player its better to call it quits, cash in your chips, and roll up a new PC.

But! The key thing here is that staying dead is a choice. The game's brutally lethal, with a lot of enemies who can simply one-shot a low level PC or grind them down in fights they have no hope of winning.

This also means that some enemies become extremely scary if they have ways to kill you that prevent returning.

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Princess

Mike Schmidt x Female! Reader

Summary: You detest having a roommate. You enjoy cheap rent. One of these things is going to have to change at some point, and with the week you're having? There's only so long before people reach a breaking point.

Tags: Smut. Filthy smut. (This is the first smut I've published too, so enjoy that.) Enemies to lovers, mocking, Mike is so OoC at some parts you could really shove anyone into this role, I'm going to be so extremely for real. (I'm honestly just feral for the actor. Sorry.) Hate fucking, dirty talk, cursing, cucking(??), listening in, masturbating, dumbification, slight dacrophillia(??), Abby's out of the equation for this scenario. Imagine like, early 20s Mike, he's not caretaker yet. Praising, pet names (good girl, princess, whore, pretty girl), no use of Y/N. Dom! Mike, teasing Reader, Brat (??) Reader, phone sex, walking in on masturbation, walking in on sex, possessive! Mike, hickies/bite marks, finger sucking, hair pulling, slut shaming, probably missing some things imma be honest. Just assume this is depraved.

Notes: I'd like to apologize to God and Josh Hutcherson. This is filth and I recognize my eternal soul is indeed damned. Anyways, bone apple teet.

▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎

I didn't mind Mike when I met him, you know.

He's quiet. Shy. Keeps to himself. Those traits should make for a good roommate. If he'd kept his mess confined to his room, maybe the music that he blares just a little too loudly wouldn't be so headache inducing.

My fingers rap on the thin door, demanding his attention which is never given to me unless I make a production out of it. We both know that.

"Michael," I say.

Silence.

"Mike."

Nothing.

I open the door and there he is, peacefully asleep on his bed as the bass shakes the water in his glass. I sigh and click off the stereo, then turn to leave. It's incredible how quickly I hear him shift on the bed, scrambling to stand.

"The fuck?" He croaks, wiping sleep from his eyes.

"Your music was blaring. I already heard it from Mrs. Jones upstairs about you waking her kid up, I'm not dealing with that again," I say raising my hands up in the air defensively.

"I don't sleep well," he says.

"Neither does the baby," I say.

Mike rolls his eyes, turning the music back on and turning his back to me.

"Michael-"

"Don't call me that," he interrupts.

It's my turn to roll my eyes. "Schmidt, can you at least turn it down? I'm asking nicely," I say. He stands there for a moment and though I can't see his face, I know he's thinking.

Finally, with a sigh he says "Fine, princess."

"Don't call me that," I say. I hear a small huff of laughter from him and he turns to look at me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I hit a nerve?" He asks with false sympathy.

"It's a simple request," I say. My eyes narrow at him in irritation.

"Which one?"

"Both."

We stand there for a moment, both of us sizing the other up, taking each other in.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

With the agreement having been made, I turn to leave, shutting the door behind me.

Year long lease. Joy.

-Tuesday-

"Hurry up!" Yells Mike, pounding on the bathroom door.

"I'm fucken hurrying!" I yell back, my hands working as fast as they can to wash off my body. Late alarm, fever dreams causing me to wake in a pool of stinking sweat, and one bathroom make for a horrendous cocktail of repeated 'fuck you's through the cheap door.

"I'm gonna be late!" Mike yells.

"So am I, I'm sorry!"

There's a moment of long silence and I think maybe Mike has finally found a spot of pity, realizing that maybe we aren't enemies but simply humans who unfortunately have to coexist in this world together. Then the water turns freezing, and I realize I hate him.

"Michael!" I practically scream. Traces of soap still reside on my body, but the cold and my alarm both force me out. Angered and not thinking clearly, I wrap the towel around my dripping waist and swing the door open.

"Are you fucking happy?" I sneer, face inches from his.

His expression is initially satisfied, but as his eyes flicker downwards he and I both realize my mistake. His eyes widen, lingering for a moment on my bare chest as he processed what he was seeing, then returning to meet my glare.

"What?" I ask sharply. "You've never seen a pair before?"

He stammers. "I-I have."

"Don't act like it," I say. "Take a fucken photo, be the only pair you'll probably ever see in your life, dicksmack."

As though he remembers himself, his eyes narrow. "Move, princess."

I slam past him, walking quickly towards my room and slamming the door behind me.

"Don't wake the baby!" Mike mocks down the hall.

Oh, motherfucker. It is on.

-Wednesday-

It's hard to break a lease. It's harder when nothing as cheap exists in the area. This is a problem for both Mike and I. I know it's true for him because apparently even his bills are too troublesome to keep on the floor of his room. But despite his mess, it's him that comes barreling down the hall, bursting into my room with no warning.

"Jesus, Michael!" I start, spinning around in my chair. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Have you ever heard of washing a dish?" He sneers. "It's not hard. My baby sister could do it."

"Oh, is she available? I'd love to see how she'd handle your laundry situation," I retort.

"Why is it impossible for you to actually wash something? You'll put water in it, let it soak. I respect that, but then you never come back to it. Do you enjoy flies? I think you enjoy flies," he says with hate dripping off of his words. I roll my eyes, but he's not entirely wrong either.

"Fine," I mutter. "I'll do the dishes. Sorry."

"See? Look at how hard that was, princess." He begins to turn away.

"Will you quit fucking calling me that?" I snap.

"I'm following our bargin. You're the one who slips first, princess," he says while laughing, raising his hands in defense.

A long moment passes, neither of us willing to back down.

"Do the dishes yourself," I say finally, turning back to the computer.

"Not my mess," he says.

"Too bad. I'm too delicate," I say with a faux breathiness to my voice. The door slams behind him, which has me instantly rising from my chair to race after him.

"Don't slam my door!" I say.

"You did it the other day!" He says, spinning around to face me and almost slipping on one of his shirts littering the hall. I can't help but smile at that.

"Problems?" I ask.

"Yeah, they exist in whatever demon spawned you," he hisses. His eyes catch on something though, narrowing as he leans slightly closer. "The fuck is on your neck?" He asks.

"The fuck you mean 'the fuck is on my neck?'" I ask.

"I mean you've got something on your neck," he says.

"No I don't," I say. "Move." I shove past him to enter the bathroom beside us, flicking on the light and feeling my irritation rise as he reaches to do the same thing simultaneously.

"See?" He says, pointing at a small, dark mark on my neck.

Fuck.

"I don't fucken know what that is," I lie, covering it with my hand.

"You liar, that's a hickey!" He says still pointing at it.

"Is not!"

"Is too. What, are you fucking some high-schooler?" He scoffs.

"Adults leave hickies too, Mike. It can be enjoyable. You'd know this if someone ever wanted to fuck you," I spit back.

"Who on earth would enjoy having sex with you?" He asks. "The only loads you leave attract flies I don't want to have to deal with come summer."

My jaw drops in shock.

"And the only loads you leave smell like menthols and depression!" I retort.

Staring. Always staring with this guy. Jaws clentched, eyes narrowed.

"Just don't bring this guy around here," he finally says. His voice is quieter but the edge is still there.

I blink. "What?"

"You heard me," he says. "I don't need to hear your shrill voice like that."

Am I imagining things or is he blushing? No, I'm definitely imagining things. It's the florescents.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I taunt. The fuck kind of response was that?

His eyes widen slightly. "No," he says a little too quickly.

"What, you get one look at my tits and now you're thinking about that degenerate shit?" I press, stepping closer.

"I don't- this-" He's blundering. I've got him now, I've found his weak spot.

Without a word, I slip out of the bathroom and return to my room, shutting the door and beginning a plan that will guarantee I won't have to worry about being the roommate that breaks lease and looks for a new apartment.

-Thursday-

"Are you close, baby?" The sweet voice on the phone asks me. The battery on my toy is flashing, showing one of us needs to finish soon. And while I like Nick, there was just something lacking in him that kept me on this irritating edge, hiding my release from me.

"I'm close," I confirm, switching hands to try and hit a new angle. The video on the computer is doing nothing to help with this at all, and I'm so bored I'm tempted to just fake it and seal the deal.

The plan was simple. Establish dominance over my roommate via fucking a guy I'd met at some party the week before. Nick was an easy target, too busy thinking with his dick to question why I was suddenly insistent on him coming over. And to guarantee his presence at the apartment, I would have to put in work. Not that I wasn't fully uninterested. He was alright, I was single. Beneficial for everyone involved.

The vibrator finally found that sweet spot, the one that made me cry out softly into the receiver as my wrist pumped with newfound vigor.

"Close," I told Nick. "Isn't as good as you though."

Nick chuckles softly. "You're sweet," he says. Then he's prattling sweet praises, whimpering into the phone breathily along with me as I finally begin to tip over the edge, moaning loudly and clearly. It's my luck that Mike should be at work at this moment.

Should be.

Wasn't.

The door opens as Mike walks in, his mind obviously focused on something else but immediately taken aback at the sight of me sprawled upon the bed, legs open, toy in hand, Nick on phone, porn on computer. Shit.

"Jesus!" Mike shouts. "It's the middle of the day!"

"Get the fuck out!" I shout back, my voice less vicious than I'd like given that I was mid-ruined orgasm. Mike covers his eyes, trying to stumble out of the door without looking, muttering a dozen apologies a second before finally reaching and slamming the door shut behind him.

Nick and I are both silent for a long while, neither of us sure what to say.

"So... I'll see you tomorrow?" I ask finally.

"...yeah." He says. And with the click of my phone, the plan is solidified.

-

I don't see Mike that evening until about three hours later when he finally emerges from his room with pink cheeks and clothed in a large hoodie he seems to wish would swallow him whole.

"Hey," I say to him. I chew on my cheap food slowly, flipping through my novel at the cluttered table.

"Hi," he says quietly, not really making eye contact with me. He crosses to the cabinets, taking out a glass and filling it with water. We listen to the tap for a moment before I finally say "I didn't mean for you to see that."

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion. "I got that."

More silence. The tap shuts off and he leans against the sink, taking a long sip.

"So... hickey guy?" He finally asks. And I can't help the snort that escapes me.

"Nick," I say.

"And he's...?" Mike is testing the waters, that much is obvious.

"Canadian," I say.

Mike nods. Sip. Silence.

"Nick, from Canada," he says slowly.

"Yep," I say, popping the 'p.'

Mike looks at his drink in thought.

"So you're into Canadians," he finally says. I think for a moment.

"No," I say. I mark my book and close it. "Just bored."

"Just bored?" Mike asks.

"Just bored," I confirm.

Sip. Silence. Thinking.

"You... do that regularly?" He asks.

"I mean... I like sex," I say.

His cheeks redden at that, and he takes another sip as though to hide that.

"He's coming over tomorrow," I say casually. Mike's eyes dart to mine, dark and wide.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Another sip. He finishes his glass.

"Should I find plans for tomorrow?" He asks finally.

"No," I say a bit too quickly. Both of our cheeks redden at that. "I mean, we won't... shouldn't...." I don't know what I mean.

Mike stares at me thoughtfully for a moment then looks back to the glass in his hand.

"You're pretty loud, princess," he finally says quietly.

There's a new tension in the air. One that isn't brought on by hate or dirty dishes. One that I don't mind strangely.

"You could join us, if you'd like," I offer. Mike's grip on the glass tightens so suddenly I'm almost surprised it doesn't burst.

"I- I'm pretty sure I'd get in the way," he stammers. Then his eyes darken, a strange look in them. "Besides, I don't like being a whore."

This comment stings. Deeply.

"I'm not a whore," I say defensively.

"Oh?" Mike asks.

"He's the only guy I've fucked in months, so yeah," I say.

"Oh, is that why I hear you moaning late at night all the fucking time?" Mike says. "Seriously, you're fucking loud."

"And you're a fucking virgin," I snap.

"Says who?" He asks.

"Forget it," I say. I gather my things and rise from my chair. "Don't fucking talk to me."

"Fine," he scoffs. "I'll wash this dish too, princess," he calls after me.

I spin around. "You would be so much more fuckable if you were easy to swallow," I snapped, stomping my foot like a child.

Both of us stare at each other in a bit of shock at what I just said.

"Most girls swallow just fine, thank you," he retorts.

"Who's the whore now?" I say. I don't wait for him to respond, slamming the door shut behind me.

Fine. Let him hate me. That's the whole point of this anyways. Then it'll be me and someone else in this terrible fucking apartment. Maybe it'll be Nick. Anyone would be better, I tell myself.

...

...how easy is Mike to swallow?

-Friday-

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't struggling to remember the correct name right now.

Nick is underneath me, pumping his cock in and out like no tomorrow as I grind against him. My jaw is slack, my hands buried in the blankets fabric underneath of us. I'm staring at the thin door though, the thin door that I know leaks every little noise whether there's a towel under the enormous crack or not. And the shadows of footsteps that I see make it all the easier for Nick to continue his shallow rhythm, edging me closer and closer.

"Mi-Nick," I moan loudly. It sounds endearing, thankfully. But my heart races at how close I've come to fucking things up in a few different ways. "Fuck, you're thick," I moan. It's not particularly true, but his size is fine, so what's an ego boost to help him along the way?

Nick is sweet underneath of me, moaning that I'm his, that we're each others. That's great and all, but God. There is this missing edge. And it isn't until I hear pounding on the bedroom door that I finally feel real excitement begin to flow through me.

"We need to talk," Mike's voice says firmly.

Nick looks guilty, his eyes wide and asking for silent guidance. I don't respond, simply continuing to slide up and down Nick's cock and moaning while doing so.

"Hey, princess," Mike says firmer, pounding on the door again. "Think you can stop Oh-ing Canada and come talk to me like a fucking adult?"

I don't stop, grinding harder against Nick's base. My hands find my clit, rubbing it as I respond.

"I told you you were welcome to join us," I moan. Nick looks at me like I've gone utterly insane, and maybe I have. Maybe I'm completely delusional about all of this, but I couldn't care less as I feel my dripping cunt tighten to the point even Nick doesn't care what happens so long as he comes inside of me.

"Mi-Nick," I moan. "Mi-ne, mi-ne." Come on, Schmidt. Catch the fucking hint.

All night I had been plauged with dreams about Michael fucking Schmidt. I'd noticed when we met he was attractive to me. I liked his hands, his stubble. God, his shoulders made me think things that will probably send me straight to Hell. But hate usually kept these thoughts at bay. Last night however, the dreams wouldn't stop coming. Over and over, a new fantasy of him emerged in my head. Him underneath of me as a writing mess, him begging for more, my tits in his mouth as he finished inside me. It was depraved. I wanted it.

The door bursts open just as Nick is finishing inside of me. It's the look in Mike's eyes that causes me to finish, all while keeping eye contact with him as well.

Nick is quick to flip me on my back, covering my body haphazardly with a blanket prattling excuse after excuse. Apparently we're sorry. Apparently we had gotten too wrapped up in the moment because apparently, you know how it is, right man?

But it doesn't matter. Mike isn't looking at Nick, who's pulling on his shirt above me. Mike's looking at me, watching my fingers that trail gently along my areolas, flicking lightly at my hardened nipples and clearly longing for more.

"Mike wouldn't know the first thing about pleasing a woman," I say with little thought.

"Oh?" Both of them ask me.

"I think you should leave, Nick. Mike and I are going to have a little talk, and I don't want you to see how ugly this may get," I say without breaking eye contact with Mike.

The sudden shift in the air is not subtle, so maybe that's why Nick doesn't really hesitate to listen to me.

"I'll call you later," he says as he stumbles past Mike.

"Don't bother," Mike calls after him. Mike slams the bedroom door shut, locking it before turning to me and raising an eyebrow.

"Is there something you'd like to say to me?" Mike asks, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms as his stands tall.

My hand dips to between my thighs where Nick and I's cum pools out, coating me in the thick stuff.

"Sorry," I say in a spoiled tone, smiling.

Mike's eyes scan my entire body. From the hickies coating my neck, to my breasts and even my thighs, I can see a new wave of anger washes over him. At least, it looks like anger. There's something else mixed with it too, something I desperately want to play with.

"You're not sorry for shit," he says. He's correct.

"I told you last night, I like fucking people," I say as my fingers circle my clit.

Mike's jaw tightens. "You like fucking people," he repeats.

I can see him grind his teeth. He's silent for another moment. "And do you like... him?"

I giggle. "You tell me," I say with a soft and low voice.

His eyebrows twitch. "You're still... going?" He asks with an unsure edge to his voice.

"Yes, Michael. This is what a woman looks like when she's turned on," I say in a mocking tone, batting my lashes as my fingers dip into my entrance. "Would you like to try?"

He steps closer, bending down ever so slightly to stand over me.

"Don't call me that," he says in a low growl.

"Make me," I taunt.

He blinks.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

A startled yelp escapes me as Mike grabs my hips, dragging me roughly to the edge of the bed. He spreads my legs, stepping between them and slips his rough thumb inside of me with no hesitation.

"Fuck. You do like him," he groans, his other hand fiddling with his belt. I can see how hard he is underneath his jeans, his fingers clumsy but working quickly at the items covering him.

"He's oka-ay," I say quickly, my voice trailing off into a soft moan. His thumb explores the inside of my cunt, probing the wet muscle and massaging inside of me spots a man had never taken time to look for before. "Your finger's thick," I moan.

Mike chuckles, freeing himself and pumping into his hand slowly as he presses his thumb deeper inside of me.

"You told Nick he was thick too," he says. "That just your line with guys?"

It is, but this time I actually mean it. So I shake my head. "No," I say quietly.

"I don't believe you," Mike says. He slips his thumb out of me, making me clench around nothing. I open my mouth to protest only for Mike to quickly shove his thumb into my mouth, touching the back of my throat while he sinks his cock into me.

"Go on, pretty girl," he moans. "Take it like the proud whore you are."

I gag around his thumb, both from the sudden intrusion and from the taste. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't like this, if I said that his actions didn't make me even more wet and that I didn't suck his thumb greedily, wrapping my tongue around it and sucking it clean until I can only taste his rough flesh. I swear it makes his dick twitch.

His cock slides in and out of me with ease, taking his time to feel how I wrap around him.

"Fuck," he drawls. "It's been awhile."

I moan around his thumb, running my tongue along the underside and trying to rock my hips against him to tell him to speed up. Instead, he presses a hand down on my lower stomach, pinning me down as he sinks in fully. At first glance his size is average, but inside of me it's overstimulating how he fills me just a little too much.

His thumb presses further into my throat, making me gag as he tilts his head back in pleasure.

"You are just demanding. Do you know that?" He asks. I try to respond, but he simply presses his thumb against a spot that makes me gag once more.

"Nothing's good enough for you. Not even Nick. You didn't even cum until I came in here," he laughed cruelly, looking down at where we connect. His other thumb trails down to rub my clit slowly, making me writhe underneath him and clench around his still cock.

"Never shutting up. Till now. I like it when you're quiet, princess. Makes you easier to swallow." He presses deeper inside of me, making me whine in overstimulation.

"You're mine now," he says, slowly pulling out. "You can call Nick all you want. Call him, fuck him. But we both know he's not gonna make you cum like I will." Just his tip remains in me, barely staying in before he slams back into me so hard I scream.

"So what's the point?" Mike asks, slowly slipping out once more. "Do you like pitting men against each other like that?" He slams back into me. My eyes water, but I don't protest.

This time when he pulls back, he stays there. I wait for him, trying to he patient. But then he removes his thumb and wraps his hand around his length instead.

"What?" I ask, my voice raw.

"Say it," Mike says as he jerks himself off slowly.

"Say what?" I ask.

"I'm not gonna fuck you like you want unless you say you're mine," he says casually. His tip is bright red and leaking precum, his length coated in Nick and I's milky cum.

"Fuck you," I say. Mike just laughs.

"You're the one laying here crying over some dick," he taunts. "I just want to make sure we're on the same page here, princess."

I try to hold strong, I really do. It'd be more fun if I did. But fuck. The way he stands over me, his shoulders broad. I could never deny I liked the sight of his hands either, and seeing them tug as his pulsing cock while he stared down at me with that stupid fucking smile?

It's not fair.

"I'm yours," I say quietly.

"Hmm?" Mike asks, pumping his dick quicker now. I can see how hard his veins are, and the sounds of him fucking his own hand make me want him more.

"Yours," I repeat slightly louder.

"Use proper English," he says. His face has this stupid blissful look on it, his mouth slightly open as he pants, fucking himself and watching me as he does.

"I am yours," I hiss through gritted teeth. It doesn't even take a full second before he's buried in me once more, his hands pinning my knees to my shoulders and fucking me with enough speed I'm genuinely scared he'll hurt me. And I love it.

"I'm going to make you mine," he grins, his voice suddenly turning feral.

"I'm going to make you mine so much that you won't even be able to remember what Nick's name is, let alone what he looks like. Or what he feels like."

"Uh huh," I whine. My voice is so unusually high and ragged, my mouth slack and eyes rolling back in pleasure. I rock against his hips, trying to find my second edge. I'm babbling, whether I'm asking for mercy or more is anyone's guess.

He laughs at me, and it's a harsh and cruel laugh - not at all like the usual sarcasm and mockery he displays. Instead, his laugh comes from a place that is raw and angry and vicious, the kind of laugh a wolf makes when he's about to go for the kill.

"What's the matter?" he asks, his voice dripping with sarcasm and mocking. "Not quite the big, bad man that he's made you think he was, is he? How disappointing," he continues, his hips thrusting into me repeatedly.

I cry loudly with each new thrust. His movements are cruel, borderline abusive. Christ, I love it.

"Bigger," I whine. "Bigger."

He teeth nip at my throat, sinking in hard enough I'll be wearing sweaters and scarves for weeks. Makeup won't touch the color.

"Bigger?" He asks in a mocking voice. "What's bigger?"

"You're bigger," I moan. My voice is broken, and there's no way the neighbors don't hear the degeneracy occurring around them. Sorry, Mrs. Jones.

"What are you going for?" he snaps, his eyes narrowing and his voice growing more and more vicious. "Big bad Mike?" he giggles, his grip tightening on my ankles as he continues plunging into me.

A loud scream escapes me as Mike finds my g spot. He doesn't relent, focusing on the spot and abusing it while I sob and try to wiggle away, completely overstimulated from pleasure and unable to handle it.

His hands pin me against him, trapping me where I am and forcing me to take him however he wants me to.

"You want more?" he asks, taking one hand away from my ankles, grabbing and pulling my hair harshly, forcing me to stare into his eyes. His pupils are so blown out I can't even see his pretty hazel irises. They're dark and predatory, his breath hot and heavy with rage.

"Is that what you want?" he asks, pulling back and plunging into my aching cunt again.

"Yes!" It's a violent scream that escapes me, feeling myself begin to tip over the edge. His eyes sparkle, his lips in a smile that shows he knows he's won.

"And what would Nick say if he could see you like this? All mine, all mine..." he taunts.

"Huh?" I'm completely stupid, my body coming undone so suddenly around his dick with cries, screams, whimpers and everything inbetween. Nick was foreplay and I've no mental energy to remember any detail that isn't Mike's.

"Don't even know his name?" Mike laughs. "You can't even remember his name, can you?" he grins, his eyes narrow again as he tugs my hair and shoves himself in further.

"Uh uh," I pant in a high voice. My body shakes terribly, his pounding length already edging me once more as he continues abusing my spot. How on earth am I supposed to walk after this?

"Then let me help you remember his name," he says. "Say his name."

"Mike," I moan pathetically. I'm right back on that edge, crying and feeling as though I'll burst from overstimulation.

"Louder," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm and mocking. "Say it louder. Say his name loud enough for him to hear you."

"Mike!" I scream it religiously as I come undone a second time, gripping him to the point I can feel how close he is too. I hear him laugh above me, his other hand now wrapping around my throat and choking me slightly.

"That's my name," he says with mocking gentleness. "Say his name or I won't finish."

"I don't remember," I sob. Jesus Christ, do I have problems? "Just want you!"

His face glows, his lips split into a wide grin of satisfaction.

"So you want me, do you, princess?"

I nod pathetically. He's throbbing, slamming into me hard enough it may draw a third climax in a row.

His laugh is cruel above me, his lips landing on top of mine in a wet, possessive kiss. His tongue fills my mouth, forcing me to take him as the sounds of him fucking me like a depraved animal makes me whine in desperation.

He pulls away, a long string of spit between us connecting our lips.

"Then I'll give you what you want, princess," he says. "But there's a price."

"Uh huh," I agree. My eyes roll back as my body twitches, barely able to focus as he thrusts into me.

"Look at me," he says patiently, tugging my hair once more. When I manage to remember how, he let's out a long 'aw,' smiling down at me with false sweetness as I stare dumbly into his eyes. I suppose I'm staring into his eyes. God, I'm stupid.

His thumb grazes my jaw, tutting as he examines my face closely.

"Your eyes are pretty...*" he says, his voice sweet and tender, almost like I've made him soft and vulnerable, but his cock pounding into me causes the beginning of a headache that won't let me forget how much we hate each other. "Your eyes are pretty, your mouth is pretty..."

I lick my lips and nod lightly.

"You are just such a pretty girl, aren't you?" He asks. I nod, my body twitching uselessly as my third climax washes over me.

"Good girl," he praises. "All fucked out over me. That's good."

Suddenly and without warning, he pulls out quickly and shoves my face down close to his cock, coming all over my face. It's thick and everywhere. In my hair, my mouth. I can't even open my eyes.

"Stay like that," Mike commands as he lays me on my back. His softening cock reenters me and pumps lazily, his purpose to make sure he's fully emptied.

"Any new thoughts?" He asks me in a strange tone, light and amused. I simply moan, relishing the moment. He chuckles and spreads my legs so he can better see what is happening between us. It isn't until I hear the chime of his camera confirming a recording that I realize what he's done.

"Mike?" I ask, barely able to think straight.

A low laugh escapes him, cruel but warm.

"I want to show your new boyfriend the real you," he says. "Make sure we're all on the same page here, right?

...Fuck me, I have problems.

¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

Thanks for reading, pookies. See y'all in hell.

Masterlist

[1dk-whoshifter]

🇺🇸 ᴍɪꜱꜱ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴᴀ ᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ!

(∩｀-´)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆ .⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

What would the emerald squad do if American pure blood reader was added to the mix?

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆.⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆.⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆.⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆.⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆.⋆꙳•❅*

You were an 3rd year transfer from some small private school, and your introduction had been just as unknown as the school you went to before.

Honestly none of the Slytherin could even figure out what day you showed up, they just knew that there was an American transfer somewhere slumming around the castle.

I think out of all the emerald squad, The boys would be the one to run into you first.. err or you run into them.

You literally crash into the boys while trying to find your way around ( that fucking insane) castle, which is immediately followed by their annoyed responses.

"watch it-"

"Watchwherethefu-"

"Hey!"

"Yo watch it."

"Excuse you!?"

But all the was drowned out by the absolutely gorgeous woman in front of them of course 👏🏿 (yeah like literally stop complaining 🙄💁🏿)

Which doesn't last long because you simply roll your eyes and Collect your stuff before proceeding to boop on past them like they're nobodies.

Now I'd like to think that it was just Draco who was pressed about your disrespect, but no you'd taken up space in almost all of the emerald boys mind for different reasons.

Enzo; Enzo's first impression of you had completely been forgotten about when he realized you were in fact a smoken hot girl and not some first year not watching where they were going.

Theo & Matty; were on the fence about the whole thing. Mattheo thought you were just some blonde hair , blue eyed American who needs to realize that the world doesn't fucken revolve around you (yeah he can only deal with on blonde with superiority issues)

Theo on the other hand thought it was weird that nobody seemed to have told you who they were yet, But other than that he ultimately just lets it go. 🤷🏿

Blaise; couldn't help but feel as though he should've know you, despite the fact that your name didn't given away In signs of purebloodedness??

Well we all know that the boys don't do exoticness to well so..

They do what most boys do when they're interested in a girl at the young ripe age of thirteen.. they pick on you.

Which last all of.. an hour so .. yeah

Mattheo's obviously the one that ended up facing your wrath (because he's usually the one to take things to far🙄.)

They had been following you around and making funny of you for the last two classes periods before you whipped around on them and told them to stop fucking following you.

All the boys laughed (except for Blaise and Enzo, who were where just watching the storm brew) and Draco said something about not taking orders from mudbloods or girls (which of obvious Matty added on🫣)

And that's all it took for you to serve the boys a nice hot dish of Justice (🦇).. well by justice I mean a punch and by boys I meant Mattheo.

Matty who'd been condescendingly standing in front of you, went from upright to on his ass in the two point-two seconds it took for your fist to connect with his nose.

And the boys just stand there... Speechless. 🧍🏻‍♂️

Well everyone except Matty, who is on the ground cussing and sporting a broken nose.

Now you assumed that they'd leave you alone after that, but your sorely mistaken as it only seemed to make them follow you around more.

Now the way they follow your around is definitely different.. their kinder in their own weird way.

Draco doesn't allow anyone to make fun of you expect the only boys of course and Blaise offerers you directions if you're lost (Which is weird in itself since you never knew he was there so...)

Theo helps you if you need anything academic wise despite never helping anyone even the boys, finally Mattheo..well just stays out of the way.

But the boys new attitude does the opposite affect of what their hoping for, instead it makes you mad and suspicious.

Which only last about a week or two before your confronting them in the Court yard.

Their all sitting on the grass smoking (*hack hack Matty*) or doing homework, when you stomp over demand an explanation for their *odd* behavior.

Now of course they don't out right tell you 'I'm sorry' instead they make some jokes about not wanting to be punched anymore so they decided to leave you the fuck alone.

But considering the fact that Mattheo fights daily you don't believe it, you tell them exactly that Which makes Mattheo confesses to kinda thinking your cool and hot since you stood up to him and how you should join the 'hot guy squad.'

Which you mention the fact that I you don't trust the and two your not a guy, they send Daphne, Pansy, and Astoria to convince you that they don't complete suck.

Which somehow works and next thing you know your being followed around by four grown men like little ducklings, so congratulations I guess 🤷🏿😂

[scribbling-dragon]

as promised,, here's the few headcanons I've currently got bouncing around in my docs/notes!

- BigB was slightly changed by his time in the mesa. not changed in the same way other people have been by the Games, but just enough to be noticeable. his feet don't make a sound, even when other's do. when he walks over sand, or snow, or freshly turned dirt, he leaves no footprints behind, as though he was never there in the first place. When you turn your head away from him, enough that you can barely see him from the corner of your eye, he changes. his limbs are out of proportion and nothing seems Quite Right. when you look back, everything is normal. there is no hole in the mesa.

- martyns a fucken cat. half of the time he looks as though he's just walked through the worst rainstorm in the world, even if it's currently sunny.

- do not approach the secret keeper just before dawn. It does things then that are only barely veiled beneath the darkness. if you look closely, you may see Its assistant (though perhaps that "assisstant" is the true mastermind).

- no-one's wounds are healing. they may eventually stop bleeding, so the players do not die of blood loss (a slow, creeping death may bring with it lots of dread, but it leaves a sour aftertaste for whoever consumes it), but the wounds remain gaping open.

- leading on from the previous one: martyn may have died, but some are secretly jealous that he is no longer walking around with open wounds. others are simply glad that they do not have to try and find an unmarred piece of skin to look at while they talk to him anymore.

- their secret tasks are each given to them in a small book, one that they must keep on their person at all times. with these books came personalised little holders for each player, so they can have it resting at their hip for easy access. these "book holsters" are just large enough for the book and nothing else. these holsters cannot be burned or damaged or destroyed in any way. whoever made them must have known the players well, with all the small hints to their personality within the design.

- skizz was the first to discover that you could additionally customise the book holsters, as he was doodling "Love Island" onto it to see if the alliance name would stick. it did, and others began writing their own alliance names on it, sitting and customising their holsters together so they could all match.

- jimmys "book holster" has a rather unique design compared to everyone else's. his holster is visibly falling apart, deteriorating throughout the day. only once he manages to complete his task does his holster get restored to its original condition, though with gold stitching highlighting where it has been pieced back together. he does not know what will happen if his holster falls apart completely (he's not sure he wants to know).

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror House Reacts... to Zoo Animals!

.I've been watching Robert Irwin and Dave Salmoni take wild animals onto the Jimmy Shows and scare the Jimmy's and various other guest stars sOooooo... I had to make this XD

Plot: We are gonna hand each horror Villains a dangerous animal and see how they handle it. Warnings: Swearing. No actual mention of meerkats despite the gif.

Audrey II: A European Brown Hare.

Audrey II, staring at this hare stood up on its hind legs giving them the Eye: ... that is one ugly bunny rabbit. Y/N: AUDREY TWO!!- Audrey II: wh- AM I WRONG?-

Audrey II has no fear, they're a plant from outer space. He also doesn't particularly care for animals though, since its pretty globally accepted that animals are allowed to eat plants when they're peckish... and understandably, they are not having that. Not in this green house XD Nu uh, no siree, nope nope nope, the hare is gonna get eaten first if he even looks at Audrey II wrong.

Billy Loomis: An Emperor Scorpion.

Y/N: Close your eyes and put out your hands. Billy: ... *sigh* *does as he's told as to not be called a coward* Y/N: *Places the scorpion in Billy's cupped hands* Open them! ^^ This is Phil, he's very chill. Please don't drop him. Billy: ... heheh, can I keep this?? Y/N: ?? What??? No, you cant keep Phil- Billy: I wanna leave him in Stu's bed. Y/N: DEFINITELY not-

Billy, is... *sigh*, a teenage boy.

Bubba Sawyer: A Red Kangaroo.

Bubba: *Very cautious, looking at this jacked foreign creature. He's never seen anything like this, he lives in buttfuck nowhere Texas with no tv.* Y/N: Here, Bubba. *hands Bubba a bouquet of gum leaves* Offer her these. Bubba: *Unsure, but approaches the weird pocketed creature and offers out the branches... Quickly calms down when the kangaroo starts simply munching on the leaves* Y/N: See? ^^ Bubba: *Already petting the kangaroo. Wants to take her home and keep her safe and pet her and give her leaves forever.*

Bubba does not love casually 😅😅😅 Once he's warmed up to someone, that person is his family and he wants to keep them safe. My suggestion?? Sneak the kangaroo back to the zoo in the dead of night while Bubba's asleep. (or call Drayton. He certainly don't want no goddamn kangaroo in his house)

Carrie White: A Boa Constrictor.

Carrie: Um, is this safe?? *Eyeing the snake's head closely as you place her gently over her shoulders* ... Y/N: Oh yeah, don't worry, this one's a sweetheart ^^ Carrie: Okay... *snake raises her head and looks around very peacefully, just surveying the room* Oh, she's sweet!... Y/N: She seems very comfortable with you! Carrie: ! Really??

Carrie was apprehensive at first, but when she realises that the boa is not feeling threatened (or hungry), she relaxes and spends quite a while with the snake in her arms! ^^ She's disappointed when she has to say goodbye ):

Chucky Lee Ray: An Eastern Canadian Moose.

Chucky: *staring up at this giant fucking creature, clearly ready to run at any second if the thing makes an unpleasant move* ... You have gotta be fucken kidding me. Y/N: Nope. This is Jessica-Mae! She's from Canada, and she's really nice. I think she'll let you sit on her back, if you wan- Chucky: No I don't wanna sit on Jessica-Mae's back actually Y/N, Jessica-Mae is a fucken monster- Y/N: c h u c k y

Chucky has a... healthy cautiousness when it comes to wild animals XD He does like tarantulas, though.

Freddy Krueger: A West African Lion.

Y/N: Okay so for this one, um, I'm uh... yeah I'm gonna step out. Freddy: ... wait. Wait wait wait. Why are you- *You close the door one side of the room and as soon as the lock clicks into place, the lion prowls in on the other side* Freddy: Oh. Freddy, hands out like 'i mean no harm': ... nice kitty Freddy: ... um. I saw the lion king. It was... a great piece of cinema; your people should be proud. Freddy: ... please don't eat me, you giant son of a bitch.

Freddy was SO EXCITED to meet an animal, but now he's got some concerns about those teeth and his privates.

Jason Voorhees: A Ussuri Grizzly Bear.

Bear: ... *Staring down Jason* Jason: ... *Staring down Bear* Bear and Jason: *Staring each other down* Y/N: ... *Wondering if you should do something* Jason: *Suddenly walks over and gives the bear neck scritches*

... this is a giant toothy puppy to Jason XD Jason loves wildlife, they were his friends growing up in the woods! ^^ And he knows how to keep them calm, so he's very good with them. He hangs out with the bear until its time to go outside, then Jason follows him outside and hangs with him out there ^^

Jennifer Check: A White Rhinoceros.

Jennifer, as soon as Grizelda the rhino steps in: -oh jesus fucking christ. Jennifer: You're fat. Y/N: Oy! Jennifer: What??? She's meant to be, right?? 🙄 G o d... look who's animal-cist. Jennifer: ... can I feed the fat bitch?

The fact that this is an animal does not change a thing about the way Jennifer talks to her XD She is so fascinated, though, and wants to feed Grizelda, pet Grizelda, ask many many questions about Grizelda... she loves her.

Jerry Dandridge: A Perentie Monitor Lizard (Goanna).

Y/N, helping goanna onto Jerry's lap: Now, be careful with Sandy, he can be kinda easily startled and then his claws will cut into your skin, and- Jerry: *Getting along great with the Sandy, Sandy is in the best mood you have ever seen him in; purring.* Y/N: ... Y/N: ... wtf, how?! Sandy's usually so grumpy!- Jerry: Oh I guess we just have a connection~

Jerry and reptiles get along great, they're cold blooded and he... is always cold. He has no blood. He's a vampire XD Try giving him a puppy, though, and watch that puppy leap away from him and growl like a possessed thing (Jerry gets so frowny about it XD).

Michael Myers: A Bengal Tiger.

Michael: *Stock still, actually considering running for the first time in 50 decades* Tiger: ... *yawns* *prowls over to Michael and lays on top of his feet, promptly falling asleep* Y/N: ... um. Well, I think she likes you?? Michael: *Does not move an inch for 3 hours while the tiger naps, staring at it*

Michael, just like cats... is a bitch. They basically adopt him into their family as their big dumb weirdo child (Yes, even the big terrifying ones) and there is not a thing grumpy old Myers can do about it XD

Pamela Voorhees: A Silver Fox.

Pam: *Loves the fox. Sitting in her chair and leaning down to give it treats. Cooing at her.* Y/N: You're so good with her! ^^ Pam: ~Stay away from my son, dear, and I wont have to sick her on you~ Y/N: ... D: What?

Pamela and a sharp toothed creature is a dangerous combination. Stay away from her son.

Patrick Bateman: An African Savanna Elephant.

Patrick: *A too-big smile glued to his face as he strokes the dirty wrinkly elephant* This is... this is fun... Y/N: I knew you'd like her! ^^ Anna is so sweet, and gentle, and quiet, so- Patrick: -You cant tell when I'm fucken lying through my t e e t h!?

Patrick doesn't like any animals, they're wild and filthy and break irreplaceable things he spent hard-earned money on to be unique, but he will force a pleasant face because that is what he does

Pennywise: A Mountain Zebra.

*i was tempted to do a turtle but... seemed too obvious XD Still unsure i made the right call*

Penny: Heheheheh, whats black, white and- Y/N: Don't do it. I swear. Dont do it. Penny: Okay okay okay, I'll be serious. Hey, why do zebras have stripes? Y/N: Oh, well they developed stripes because- Penny: Because they didn't want to be Spotted!

Penny c a n n o t s t o p m a k i n g z e b r a j o k e s. Otherwise, he's pretty good with the zebra. No problems ^^

Stu Macher: A Somali Ostrich.

Stu: Heheh... Y/N, these things don't bite, do they?? Y/N: Oh they totally do. *Hands Stu the leash* Anything with a mouth bites. Stu, levelling his gaze with the giant flightless bird: ... I will bite you back.

Stu is a little chicken, but he's also really curious!! XDD So sure, he'll hang onto the leash and feed the monster bird!! But he will absolutely crouch down and cover his head if the ostrich starts fluttering his wings. And don't you dare leave him XD

Tiffany Valentine: Baby Nile Crocodiles.

Tiff: Chucky!! We have new children now!! Chucky: THE FUCK WE DO- Y/N: N- no... you cant keep them actually... Tiff, ignoring you and Chucky: The kids are gonna love these ^^ Come on, sweethearts, into the sack, single file now- hey, Trudy, no biting your brother-

Tiffany is in love XD And you know how one-track-minded she can be when she's in love XD

[catchingdaydreams]

Sleep paralysis demon Miguel - Part 2

Part 1

(not proof read)

It was little over a week until any forms of sleep paralysis was forced upon you. During then you had time to think of the whole ordeal. That 'grumpy shadow', you unofficially named him for now , didn't appear the following nights either. This led to your conclusion that he only showed up with one of your episodes. You weren't looking forward to them even more now. After the last encounter you have no clue how he would react to you. You did upset him for not acknowledging his menacing gaze. But it's not your fault that just continuously staring is awkward. Its human nature.

Besides the point you needed to come up with a plan. You have no clue what that shadow man is or what caused yourself to be haunted by him. If this was becoming a frequent thing then there needs to be a way you can communicate to him. Maybe you can fix whatever bad blood between us. Maybe you could tell him to leave?

You just hope you won't provoke him....

...But that wouldn't be half enjoyable.

As the nighttime was looming over, you hopped into bed. It took you a while for your body to feel at ease but eventually you were falling to what appeared to be your slumber. But coldness of the room etched within the sheets sending in goes bumps. You tried to bury yourself further within the covers but your body was completely frozen. You signed irritatedly about your discomfort with the temperature. While tossing and turning before, much of your left leg and chest was exposed to the cold air. Every passing minute seemed to feel colder and colder. This wasn't normal, the coldness increased to the point that you could see your breath. Something supernatural was a play and you had a good guess who.

But he didn't show himself, not right away though. Miguel had bigger plans this time. It wasn't just hunger anymore. He was determined to make you fear him.

The coldness that etched into your room spewed an icy mist that made you sight hazy and dulled the rest of your senses. You tried not to panic. You really did. However, subconsciously fear had stricken you as the room grew darker and darker. The only sense that remained was your hearing. But that wasnt reliable as all you could hear was your heartbeat thumped louder and louder in your head. The only warmth that lingered was your body sweating bullets as a million thoughts were running through your mind.

Why was this time so different? Is it even the same entity doing this? Oh god, what if whatever this thing is trying to hurt you?

The last thought terrified you. Especially how exposed you felt when half your body wasn't under the sheets. Your paranoia sparked nasty ideas of something grabbing your feet and dragging you down. You thought that this terror might break your stillness, trying to move your body once more, though proved fruitfulness. You huffed at this mental strain over a flight response. Your sense we're being tested. Played like a fiddle while you were so helpless.

During your internal dilemma, you didn't notice the tapping above you. Walls groaning and creaking until it grew into a banging, vibrating the walls so violently that it shook the picture frames above.

Your mind was cleared from thought when the banging boomed above your head. You rolled your eyes up to witness who was doing it but from the angle you couldn't see anything.

What you did see was a flicker in the corner of your eye. On for a second flashed red. You blinked, focusing your vision in front of you.

There he was. Hunched over you on the bed. Almost as if he was pinning you down. What you didn't notice was that you didn't feel any weight of his body pressed onto you. You didn't know he was simply a shadow. But it's not like you knew nor cared at the moment. You were too preoccupied with how this fucken man was above you, given you looks that would kill.

You didn't know how you could be even more frozen in fear. His face was just an arms length of yours. His red glowing gaze still obscured his shadowed face, yet with being in closer proximity you could make out a scow. He took notice of moving away from his gaze to the rest of his face. He smirks, flashing his bright white fangs at you.

Miguel has been having dinner and a show with you. This time he made sure your fear persisted during his feeding. His little tricks seemed to do the work. And he certainly got a kick out of you not being a little arrogant bitch this time around when you saw him again.

Even now as he grins wildly your fear keeps growing. He thinks that you're scared of his teeth, which came up with an idea.

He leans closer to you, his mouth opens wide as he growls deeply. He aims at your throat. While he couldn't actually touch you, you didn't know that he wasn't gonna rip your voice box out. He could see your pupils dilate as a small scream emits from your closed lips. Its was almost too comical to Miguel, he grins, trying to keep in character and not laugh at you.

He might as well be drunk on your fear right now from how much you were emitting. His breath glazed over your clammy skin as he could hear how fast your heart was bumping.

Moving closer, he paused

He Noticed something above you. Miguel found your little letter that was taped on the wall above you. Glancing over it, he saw it was a message to him.

Hey shadow man, can you please stop being a creep leave me alone. I'm not into being watched by a prevy rando.

Okey thanks

It pissed him off.

Arrogant little bitch, he thought Who the hell thing they are? You were going to-

*Slap*

"Creep!!!" You cried

"Ow-fuck!!!" Miguel curses with a snarl, fangs blaring in offence. He rubs his face to ease the sting.

'She...slapped me?' He couldn't believe it.

'I slapped him' You couldn't believe it.

You both stared at each other, completely dumbfounded. It took you a few seconds to release that 'oh hey you can move now' and 'get the fuck out of here instincts' kicked in.

And get the fuck out of here you did.

With one swift motion you kicked him in the gut, causing him to fall back in surprise. Finally with him off you, this was your chance. You rummaged the sheets off and ran straight out of the room.

All the while Miguel was left on the bed to collect himself.

What the hell was going on?

[sherashalala]

“Fuck, fuck.” Soap grits his teeth, but he tries not to grind it too hard against his jaw otherwise he might have more problems than simply getting stuck under rubble. 

He heaves coughs when the dust settles to his face. Soap has one hand on his 

“Soap!?” Ghost’s voice is frantic but staticy on the other end of their communications. Soap is almost flattered, the butterflies in his stomach would be fluttering and going insane if it wasn’t already taking a good bit of his attention to make sure that it doesn’t get crushed under the weight of the rubble on top of him. 

Soap is glad he’s using his throat mic now, activated by the vibration of his throat rather than him having to press it every time to access comms. “Still alive Lt.,” he thinks, “Fortunately.” Soap adds, the weight of the debris crushing him– but it’s bearable. He just can’t get out of this on his own.

“Where were you when the building fucken gave in?” Ghost demands. 

“In it.” Soap responds, to which Ghost’s comms pick up a sound of frustrated growling. He hears the sound of gunfire from the other end of the line. Soap’s gut sinks, knowing the implications of this. “”m caved in, and trapped under some fucken’ heavy walls. Which, speakin’ of, we’re gonna have to make a decision ‘bout.”

“What decision.”

“The attention on you is hot.” Soap says. “Exfil won’t be for hours from now and backup won’t be for even longer.”

Soap hears a frustrated sound at the other end of the line. “You listen to me, Sergeant.” Ghost says into the comms, and Soap could hear a heaving sort of breath, suggesting that Ghost has gone a good distance in a few . “Whatever the fuck you’re implying, what you’re thinking. Shut it down.” 

“Ghost–”

“I am not going to leave you, Johny.” Ghost says. “That is final. Do not question me.” Ghost tells him.

And Johnny really is trying to tamper down the hope in his chest– something more than a little bit of hope, even. Something more, something that’s been in there for a long time now. He knows not to hope. It’s against code, to fraternize. While Soap could take a chance at risking his job, risking his position for the chance to mean something to Ghost, he would never risk the latter’s. 

Ghost is making it damned hard to keep this shit down. 

Soap waves those thoughts away. “Better pick up the pace then, Lt., otherwise the only thing you’re gonna get to is a scottish pancake.”

“Stay put. Stay alive.” Ghost says.

“Not looking forward to the paperwork after this.” Soap laughs. “Debrief especially. Never gonna live this down, am I?”

“Worry about one thing at a time, Johnny.”  Ghost says, finally with a lighthearted tone. 

Soap would chuckle if only it meant that he could keep his breath after it. He’s struggling, trying to keep his abdomen solid while he waits. 

“‘Mgonna be waiting for ya.”

“Just sit pretty there.”

“Always am.”

[tequiilasunriise]

Annabel Lee & Fears: A Short Essay Based On Ep70

Here it is, folks, the truest crux of Annabel’s character, her deepest fears is not going mad or even people discovering she’s not as put together as she tries to appear, but rather:

Was that gambit of constant scheming and using others worth it, Annabel? Was always trying to think ten steps ahead and always keep yourself in a position of power and control truly worth it, because how can you ever be trusted when all you do is play 5D chess with everyone?

There is is, folks!!! Just like her greatest strength- her cunning willpower- is centered around a certain bright moon, Annabel’s greatest fear is rooted in Lenore. The deepest, darkest trenches of her soul, the one thing that would shatter her heart and send her lungs choking fer breath? The killing blow that would end her and make all these charades worthless? It’s Lenore seeing her constant conniving and asking Annabel, “Why would I be any different? You already have no problem using everyone else as a pawn, how could I ever possibly trust you, Annabel Lee?”

The way Annabel is SUCH a great morally grey character, y’all tell me you love hot villains yet many a time I’ve seen people calling Annabel too heartless. She’s the opposite! She cares!! SO MUCH!!! She would burn the world down if it meant kissing Lenore one last time, to the point where her deepest fear is losing Lenore in the process of trying to protect her. All Annabel knows is using manipulation to gain the upper hand because simply being born a woman in the Victorian era she was so throughly disadvantaged by such a horribly misogynistic society that girlypop had to scrape together any form of control she could. Annabel wants so badly to protect Lenore but all she knows are her own methods of protecting herself, which involves plausibility deniability and facades and sometimes sheer cruelty, and that’s where the conflict arises. From the start Annabel assumed Lenore and her had the same understanding of this ‘fake enemies’ ploy going on but surprise surprise babygirl, not everyone is overthinking four parallel universes ahead like you do. This boils over into her lover having doubts on what’s real and what’s not, which then culminates into Lenore asking if Annabel is using her affections as empty currency to get what she wants, and Annabel’s first move to tell Lenore to fucken kill her????

“To you alone, I have left myself completely defenseless.”

The drama of it all!! The shattered facade leading to exploding vulnerability of it all!! The dim sun sparking out into a heat death just to prove her sincerity of it all!!! The exposed innermost organs ripping out my heart with my bare hands and begging you, “Do you see it now? Do you see the way it beats for you and only you? Tell me you see it, tell me you see me…” of it all!!

Oh baby the way Annabel still retains this deep fear of Lenore not truly believing in the “only thing that’s real” to her, the way her lover’s ghost still lingers and haunts her and is then ripped up from her innermost psyche like a desecrated grave and given form by Ada’s power. The way, after all this time- and I mean all this time from Lenore’s constructed resurrection, to their relationship blossoming into a wedding, all the fucking way up to that bell tower scene, the fucken way Annabel still never truly let go of her fear that Lenore doesn’t see her, doesn’t see how she alone bashed through all of Annabel’s walls and made a home where her heart laid. I’m sure during their living relationship all the way until the wedding Annabel’s fears were greatly settled, but it’s the fucken way these panels implied that this wretched heartache never completely left Annabel’s guilt-wracked soul.

I just know, okay I just KNOW, that even up until she was putting her wedding dress on Annabel still questioned if she even deserved this happy ending because she still feel phantoms of guilt fer this betrayal. This comic only furthers this implication of unabsolved guilt when it’s made clear as day that Annabel’s biggest fear is Lenore not believing in her love. And before anyone argues how Annabel can currently feel guilt fer betraying Lenore when she hasn’t recovered the memory yet, I’ll argue back that from the very beginning of the comic these two were inexplicably drawn to each other even when they had NO memories. Therefore, even if she doesn’t have the explicit memory, I highly doubt Annabel’s subconscious would ever let go of something as huge as deeply hurting the one person she truly cared about in such a wretched way.

Fuck, dude, I mean Annabel’s greatest fear wasn’t even Lenore dying- which was already a huge thing if y’all remember her tearstreaked, panicked, “What is left? If she’s not here, what’s the point?”- no her greatest is Lenore!!! Not!!! Believing!! Her!!! Like yeah losing Lenore physically definitely would’ve cut so deep even her bones would bear the scars, but losing Lenore in the form of the other woman walking the same ground as her but choosing to stay away?? Call her fucking selfish because some people would rather have their other half still be alive even if they’re not by their side, but Annabel ain’t one of them that’s fer sure. Babygirl has spent a lifetime perfecting the craft of deceiving others fer her own gain, but the ONE TIME she’s genuine her heart is to be called nothing more but empty??? Oh babbyyy that’s gotta fucken hurt.

The thing is, I don’t think Annabel really loves herself all that much. I really don’t. A huge focus on self-preservation doesn’t necessarily mean one really loves themselves, and when we add the aforementioned guilt she carries? Plus, the fact that Annabel being forced to swallow down her anxiety attacks from a young age could easily lead to her having a rather sour view of her 'not normal' self? Yeah no yeah, I truly don’t think Annabel loves herself that much, if at all. So really, this line is adding immense insult to already grievous injury. Not only does Annabel deeply fear Lenore not believing her affections to be true, she also fears the New Yorker misconstruing her as nothing more but a shallow as hell, prissy, little pampered damsel, a role pretty much everyone else regulates her into whether she wants it or not (right from the beginning, before she even set her schemes in full effect, Annabel was already explaining, “Ada wanted a queen, so I gave her one”). Lenore, the only one Annabel had believed to ever really see her fer her, is now discrediting Annabel’s vulnerable affections AND seeing her as that unloving ice queen like everyone else?? Horrible terrible horrible!!! She may have a ribbon threatening to strangle her right now, but it’s clear that ghost!Lenore’s words are what truly cut her down to size. Y’all seeing that fucken pain in Annabel’s eyes? Her worst fear is just so… personal.

Which actually leads me to my next point, which is how just before Annabel’s worst fear is revealed in stark, horrifying detail, we see Prospero’s. Lemme just preface this by saying what Prospero went through is n o t any less terrible and is a super fucken mega valid fear/trauma, but let me cook y’all just hear me out. Prospero’s fear seems to be about medical malpractice and/or being conscious during a painful operation that likely went south (aka ‘oh shiiitttt he fucken DEAD-‘), and that’s fucking tragic as all hell. Yet, okay let me cook here, it’s more… I don’t want to say general, because that does NOT mean his fear is any less significant but it’s like. Way back when, death via medical bullshit was more or less fairly common, especially during wartimes (which is the era I headcanon Prospero to be from); meanwhile, Annabel’s fear is so uniquely hers, it’s borne of a culmination of specific experiences tied together by her relationship with Lenore.

By contrast of a more common fear vs something so deeply personal and specific to this one person- because it’s not just unrequited love, it’s being so vehemently denied and misunderstood by the ONE (1!) person who you wholeheartedly trusted in your entire life who also oops mega died on you- this distinction gives way to an almost more raw, more visceral feeling to Annabel’s fear sequence. Again!!! I am not undermining Prospero’s own trauma, I promise!!! But you have to admit that there’s something, from a narrative standpoint, that hits so much harder with how deeply personal Annabel’s fear is. The contrast is even more great when you look at how Prospero’s involved a buncha bloodied hands not really tied to any faces or even any indication of personhood like accessories, scars, etc etc. It could’ve been a group of anyone holding him down hurting him; on the flipside, Annabel is being restrained by one very specific person we see in full view. The faceless crowd who could’ve been anyone at anytime vs the lone perpetrator whose history you know like a second name. It’s just!!! So personal!!!

In conclusion, on the surface level, one would think a character so deeply ingrained in using deceptions and manipulation would have her greatest fear tie into having her true nature revealed to everyone she’d fooled, but then it turns out it’s the complete fucking opposite. What homegirl fears the most is her truest, innermost self not being believed and accepted by just one (1!) person. The way it’s framed is just so heartstabbingly personal, especially when you parallel it to a previous fear sequence just a few panels preceding it. This is it, your honor, this is Annabel’s deepest driving force broken down to its bare essentials. To hell with whatever reputation she’s carefully crafted! Who cares what anyone else thinks of her if she doesn’t believe her, if she doesn’t SEE her. Really, truly see her. Lenore is the defining point that Annabel has revolves around so wholeheartedly, and there’s no point to anything anymore if Annabel loses her. This crux of her character, OHHH BBAAABBYY it’s just so well done because we, as the audience, have been given clear evidence to build up this narrative of Annabel’s characterization fer so long now and to finally see it come together in a fiery explosion of lesbian angst with this latest chapter??? Gods, the writing of Nevermore will never not drive me absolutely insane in the membrane.

[cloveroctobers]

OCTOBER PROMPTS 🎃 — 2. Willie Jack

A/N: okay y’all lured me in to write anotha one about our girl! Can’t believe the show is over, idk why I expected at least 4-6 seasons smh. Show will be missed and I’m open to seeing where the cast further take their careers fr. I’m not speaking on that supposed relationship between two certain characters because it wasn’t really executed to me while watching? We all know if there was going to be a relationship between the teens who it really should have focused on. So whatever they hinted at this time doesn’t actually exist and it’s not canon to me! Anyways, would definitely recommend a rewatch for myself lol.

WARNINGS: language + awkwardness when it comes to crushes?

PROMPTS are from here + I’m using: blackberry picking, “do you want some hot chocolate?” and “I don’t like scary movies.” “I’ll keep you safe.”

🕸️𖤐༘⋆/ᐠ - ˕ -マ༘⋆𖤐🕸️ 🕸️𖤐༘⋆/ᐠ - ˕ -マ༘⋆𖤐🕸️ 🕸️𖤐༘⋆/

Willie Jack is still in disbelief that she’s back.

Well…not really back she thought. Mika was simply visiting temporarily from Nebraska—of all fucken places!!! which she moved to with her house full of family a few years back. She didn’t get the chance to visit much (at least Elora did being a whole college student and shit) but it seemed like she kept up with mostly everybody else, except for Willie Jack who was still being closed off with Mika’s departure.

“What’s up with you? Why aren’t you over there chopping it up with Mika? You know she’s outta here on Sunday right?” Bear says from beside Willie Jack, who quickly turns her attention back to her friend on the field.

Willie Jack shrugs, “don’t be in my business bro.”

“Yeah Cheese is right, you’re vibe is giving preternaturalness.”

Immediately Willie Jack jerks her head back with a frown, “fuck did you just call me?”

“I don’t know but i know it fits.” Bear grins at Willie Jack, slapping his hands down on her shoulders before leaving her at the plants to join the rest.

Yes it was unusual for Willie Jack to ever distance herself from her friends. She was a social butterfly amongst her friends majority of the time but having Mika back after all this time made her feel off and that’s something she hardly allows herself to feel.

“Sup,” another familiar voice catches Willie Jack off guard from behind the shrubs, her fists going up ready to defend herself but she realizes it’s just Elora staring at her strangely.

Elora lifts her chin, “what’s up with you?”

“I really wish everyone would stop saying that shit to me. I’m cool, having a grand time with my buddy, bart the blackberry tree.” Willie Jack is waving her hands at the dark fruit.

Elora stares hard at her friend before flicking her eyes off to the group where Mika has her head thrown back in laughter at something Jackie says.

Which also doesn’t sit right with Willie Jack.

“Jackie ain’t funny, so fuck is she laughing at?” Willie Jack mutters making Elora slowly nod her head and cross her arms as she gets closer to the girl.

Elora states, “Mika’s still that giggly person we’ve always known and love. That hasn’t changed.”

“Yo, You’re supposed to be on my side here.”

“Why does there need to be sides when it comes to Mika, she’s our homie no?”

Willie Jack rolls her eyes and says nothing more at that. She did consider Mika a friend once upon a time and it’s not like she didn’t consider her as such but things did change the night that she left. And Willie Jack never told anyone about it and still wasn’t sure how she felt.

“I guess but like…it’s different now.”

“But why?” Elora pressed, “to me it seems like you’re the one making it an issue when it didn’t seem like she had a problem since she hugged you when we met up earlier.”

Willie Jack messes with her beaded earrings now, briefly thinking about that encounter hours ago. Mika was all deep dimple smiles and although Willie Jack was the last person she hugged, Mika still acknowledged her like they haven’t stopped talking.

“If I tell you, you got to promise me you won’t make it a big deal.”

Elora nods, “okay…go on.”

Willie jack looks around to make sure everyone is still out of ear shot, she scratches at the back of her neck in nervousness. She’s been holding onto this for so long now and she knows there’ll be some relief telling somebody about what went down.

“Alright so I’m just gonna come right out with it,” Willie Jack exhales, “the night Mika left to shitty Nebraska…she came over to the crib and we were out in my backyard having a bit of a heart to heart you know? And she kissed me, bro.”

“What?!” Elora yells gaining the attention of everyone and Willie Jack goes to slam her hands on top of her cap covered hair in embarrassment.

Willie Jack glares at Elora who covers her mouth trying to hide her laughs, leaving Willie Jack to turn to Jackie, Bear, cheese, and of course Mika. She gives them a commercialized thumbs up before turning back to Elora, yanking on her shoulders to shove her further away between the shrubs.

“Fuck did I just say,” Willie Jack hisses at Elora who’s grinning at the younger girl now after stumbling a bit, “you’re the one making it worse now.”

Elora rolls her eyes, “please, they have no clue what we’re even talking about.”

“Maybe not or maybe! with you sounding like a fucken surround sound.”

Elora chuckles, “my bad, bro. But this explains so much!”

“Does it?”

“Yeah! she’s been asking me about you whenever we catch up with me at school and her all the way in Nebraska.” Elora informs Willie Jack who lifts her brows at bit at the news until Elora then sighs, “I was the only one that figured out that something went on without her really saying anything about it.”

“Wait…Mika’s asked about me?” Willie Jack is rocking on her toes now and Elora sends her a knowing smile.

“Uh yeah bro, it’s not like she ever forgot about you. You’re the one who stopped sending letters and picking up the phone.”

Willie Jack lifts her chin inquiring, “How you know that?”

“Mika told me, shit ass!” Elora lightly shoves Willie Jack’s shoulders.

“So…I’ve been a shit ass all this time when Mika’s been worried about me?”

Willie Jack’s never been the type of friend to just leave you hanging. If there was a issue, she would be quick to tell you to, “not be like that!” Wanting to figure it out, even if it was only keeping each other company until you were ready to speak on it. However with Mika, things change and she wasn’t sure if it was for the better.

“Well…I wouldn’t say worried but she cares and I don’t think she ever stopped being your friend, you’re the one who stopped.”

“I didn’t mean to.” Willie Jack feels the weight of that statement and she didn’t enjoy the sinking feeling in her tummy right now.

“Then fix it.” Elora orders, “Stop hovering in the corner by yourself like a fucken weirdo and just talk to her! So maybe you guys can be something if that’s what y’all want.”

Willie Jack scowls, “who said all that? I still don’t even know how I feel about it all. It happened forever ago anyways. Maybe she forgot? Plus she could be seeing somebody and we live hours away now so I doubt that will ever work.”

“Stop doubting yourself and you won’t know unless you try.”

Plus they could always look at Elora as a prime example. Although she wasn’t that far away from Okern, Elora still put in the effort to still be around now that their lives were slowly but surely changing.

“…Mvto, Elora.”

“Don’t mention it,” Elora pushes Willie Jack’s shoulder, “can’t believe you’re growing up on me, making out and shit.”

“Ah, yeah, shut up.”

“Let’s go!”

“Alright man, don’t rush me! Let me get my thoughts together first.”

“If you think too much, you’re gonna fuck it up…more than you already have.”

“Wow, it’s like that?

“Yeah, kinda.” Elora snickers.

Elora ends up leaving Willie Jack for a few moments to gather herself, gradually directing the rest away from Mika as she sees Willie Jack making her way over.

She’s swinging her hands behind her back awkwardly as the crisp air blows. Mika’s dressed in a jet black off the shoulder baggy sweater paired with a patterned pleated skirt, ripped up stockings, and gummy bear earrings.

She’s gorgeous and it’s not fair.

“How much blackberries you think you got?” Willie Jack starts from behind Mika, who’s on her tippy toes.

She sets back down, tossing some into a picnic basket she brought along, which Bear and Jackie teased her about but she shrugged it off with a smile and middle finger.

“You know…I was trash at probability in school right?” Mika’s sunset eyes glance at Willie Jack over her shoulder, “I never guessed right or got the prizes and it definitely pissed me off to no end.”

Willie Jack leans forward, peeking at her basket but Mika playfully steps in front of it, “I’m not sharing.”

“What?” Willie Jack blows a raspberry, “I’m sure I got more than you back in my own stash. These hands are the quickest ones here.”

Mika stares off at the spot Willie Jack was once at and dips her head, almost pointing, “are you faster than a Prairie dog?”

Willie Jack whips around, locating the chunky animal running off with her sack of blackberries. “Hey you oversized chicken nugget, that shit ain’t yours!”

The animal stops in the middle on its run, dropping the bag to bare its teeth at Willie Jack who jumps back with her hands raised in the air, leaving the dog to pick the sack up with its teeth and carry on its way.

“Even the fucken animals tryin’ to tear a hard working woman down, that ain’t right! Imma tell the ancestors about your bullshit too!” Willie Jack yells as the prairie dog continues fleeing.

Mika’s laughing before softly placing her hands on Willie Jack’s shoulders, “I think that was his way of telling me to share, although you’re the one who ghosted me.”

“Don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” Willie Jack is poking her lips out.

Mika gives the long haired girl a look before turning to put her basket on her wrist, leading the way through the rows of blackberry shrubs.

Letting out a long sigh Mika replies, “the dogs never told me you ended up with amnesia.”

“I don’t think I have that,” Willie Jack said walking beside her, “…I just don’t want to make it awkward for you.”

Mika glances at the braided girl, “For me or for you? I don’t have any regrets if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“…are we talking about the same thing? The thing that happened a couple years ago in my backyard?”

“Oh you mean: me kissing you and you kissing me back?”

“Is that how it went?” Willie Jack’s eyes were in slits now.

Mika laughs, “hell yeah, shit ass and I didn’t forget! I couldn’t, which is why I wrote to you.”

“But you never brought it up?”

“I couldn’t get the best read on you when it happened. I knew you were caught off guard but…did you like it?”

Willie Jack stares at the floor, twisting her lips around in thought. How it felt to have Mika’s always covered bracelet arms locked softly around her shoulders, and her natural scent of patchouli, apples, and brown sugar was already intoxicating before she even put her lips on Willie Jack’s. Of course she was caught off guard with Mika taking the lead, Mika’s focus only on Willie Jack’s lips as she stopped thinking about it and just did it. There was only one chance and she waited a long time to take it so why not go forth with the risk?

“I mean…I didn’t not like it.” Willie Jack peeks at Mika who nods with a small smile, “it’s just shitty that you pulled that that same night you were leaving though. Didn’t really have a chance to talk about it or process it really.”

Mika understands that, “sorry about that, the not talking about it but not the actual kissing part. guess I kinda had to process myself…since I been wanted to kiss you but I did panic when you didn’t say much after.”

“It was something…but a good something.” Willie jack bumps her shoulder with the girl who smirks at her.

Soon they’re walking in silence, fingertips brushing against each others as the make their way back to Elora’s car where everyone else is standing near it talking themselves.

“Hey guys!” Cheese waves, “we’re gonna have enough berries to last us to new years!”

Willie Jack announces, “I got the most though!”

“Where?” Jackie asks.

Willie Jack kisses her teeth, “fucken prairie—it doesn’t matter, I just do and you’ll have to take my word for it.”

“I’d rather not.”

Willie jack rolls her eyes.

Elora laughs as she gazes at Mika and Willie Jack, “you two ready to go? It’s getting dark and we got a hour drive back home.”

Her eyes meet Willie Jack’s silently hinting that she hoped they got somewhere with their talk but Wille Jack just shrugs her shoulders.

“I’ll help if you get tired, Elora.” Mika speaks up.

Willie Jack raises her brows, “you got a license?”

Mika was a year older than Willie Jack.

“Yup not long before my family and I traveled back here. Think that’s why my ma really wanted me to do it in the first place since they took my granny’s license away. She’s losing her sight and thinks my hair is on fire instead of pink.”

“Orange would look sick on you though,” Jackie comments, making Willie Jack flick her eyes over to the once bleached girl.

Willie jack adds, “you want Meeks to look like fucken child’s play? She’s wearing the pink well, better than I’ve ever seen. True queen shit, which you wouldn’t know a thing about.”

Jackie sends a look to Elora and Bear, unsure what was going on here.

Mika bumps her hip with Willie Jack’s, “we’re cool again, I think.”

“Must be with how hard Willie Jack just went for you,” Bear grins before glancing at the girl on his right, “got Jackie here speechless.”

“Fuck off,” Jackie shoves Bear while looking at the hat wearing girl, “…glad whatever you two went through is over but…do we got a problem Willie?”

Willie Jack is nonchalant, “we don’t got no beef…just chill out.”

Which definitely sounded like a warning in Jackie’s eyes.

“It was a compliment or suggestion. Don’t see Mika getting tight about it.”

“Okay! Let’s get going.” Elora steers the conversation away, “Jackie, ride up front with me.”

“Sure,” Jackie eyes Willie Jack who huffs at her, circling around to the passenger side.

Cheese gets in the middle of the backseat while Bear runs around to the other side of the car to sit behind Jackie. Willie jack is awkwardly looking at the space in the car.

“I’ll hold your basket for you, Mika.” Cheese offers, while she thanks the young boy.

Bear sees The dilemma and also offers, “You can squeeze in Mika or sit on my lap if you want?”

“Oh god,” Elora mutters, pressing her forehead against the steering wheel, making Jackie frown at her.

Willie jack shakes her head, quickly moving to sit right beside cheese, strapping herself into the car before holding out her hand, “C’mon on then, you heard Elora. We got a long way to go.”

“Ohhh are you—

Willie Jack dips her head silently making Mika smile to herself, while the rest await the scene that plays out in front of them. Mika doesn’t further question it, entering the car and sitting right on Willie Jack’s lap before closing the door behind her.

“Aw but Mika doesn’t have a seat belt.”

Willie jack carefully slips her hands around Mika’s waist, “I got her.”

“That works for now!” Cheese beams, not reading into it too much like the rest in the car are.

Bear is smirking now after it dawns on him what is happening as Mika leans back into Willie Jack’s embrace so Elora can better see out the back window but also because it was a nice place to be.

“Is this okay?” Willie Jack whispers to Mika who’s made herself comfortable, head resting back in the space between Willie Jack’s neck and shoulder.

Mika says, “yup! Long as you got me.”

“I do.” Willie Jack meets Mika’s eyes, squeezing her a bit tighter.

“Good, then we have nothing to worry about. Let’s enjoy the ride.”

“Word.” Willie jack concludes, almost snapping her eyes shut at how annoying she probably sounded but Mika just presses her forehead into the side of Willie Jack’s head.

Elora drops Willie Jack off first with Mika having to exit the car. She asks Mika if she’ll walk her to her door and she agrees with a yawn along with a stretch of her arms up into the autumn air.

“So…” Willie Jack is back to swinging her hands in front of her as she stands face to face with Mika on her stoop.

Mika laughs, “yes Mena?”

“Do you want some hot chocolate?”

“I’d love some!” She bounces on her toes, “I’ll just tell the guys that I’m staying here.”

“Yeah, okay. Nice!”

Willie Jack silently curses to herself again while she just knows her friends are in the car talking shit. She watches Mika lean against the door of the window, talking to their friends in the car, waving at them before she steps back. Skirt spinning with her as she walks back to Willie Jack and fuck she’s so pretty!

Which almost distracts her from Bear smashing his lips on the car window as Elora pulls off from the curb with a honk of her horn.

“After you my lady,” Willie Jack holds her hands out after pushing the front door open.

Mika curtesy’s before entering the home, peeking around as she steps into the first space, which happens to be the living room. “Everything still looks the same.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh.” Mika plops down on the couch while Willie Jack enters the kitchen, turning the stove on before opening the fridge to get the leftover homemade hot chocolate she made at midnight.

It’s quiet but it’s not awkward as Mika makes herself comfortable, folding her legs underneath her on the couch. It’s not long before Willie Jack enters the living room with steaming mugs.

“Thanks,” Mika takes the mug with a smile while Willie Jack places her’s on the coffee table.

She takes off her hat, tossing it on the arm of the couch before digging her fingers into her braid to let her hair run free. Mika watches Willie Jack as she sips on the just right hot beverage, admiring just how beautiful her “friend” is.

“Your hair’s gotten longer,” Mika observes, “it’s still stunning.”

Willie jack fans her hand about, “thanks girl, I grew it myself.”

“Hell yeah! Love it just the way it is.”

And the way Mika is looking at Willie Jack makes her heart thud in her chest. The damn girl’s only been here for a day and she’s already got her feeling a way.

“We should watch a scary movie!” Willie jack jumps to her feet, heading over to the collection of dvd’s.

Mika rests one hand in the crease of her other arm, “I don’t like scary movies.”

Willie jack looks back at Mika from her squatting position, picking up on her unease. She was aware that Willie Jack’s parents weren’t home as the house was too hushed and she didn’t see her dad’s truck in the driveway. Night time has definitely fallen and they were alone, dancing around what they could be and now this girl was trying to put on a horror movie?!

“Really?” Willie jack asks, “any particular reason or…?”

“I don’t think it’s never really been my thing,” Mika murmurs while she looks at the front door, “every time you or bear would suggest sneaking into the outdoor movie night by lake crow I wanted to stick my head in the dirt and never come out.”

“Shit…guess I gotta pay more attention.”

“Nah, who wants to be the odd one out when everyone else was down? I just dealt with it…plus you two were always so excited although I lost sleep for a few nights because of all those movies but…you get over it you know?”

“If we do this…you think you’re gonna have any nightmares?”

“Hard to say honestly.”

“Then…I’ll keep you safe.” Willie Jack strongly said, “but that’s only if you want to. I’ll even pick the least scary one out of the batch.”

Mika sips at the hot chocolate, thinking about it, “I’m gonna hold you to it.”

Willie Jack makes a offering motion with a imaginary hot chip before taking the time to go through the collection. She finds one that she thinks will be alright before shoving it into the dvd player. Once she’s seated back next to Mika, she tosses one arm along the top of the couch allowing Mika to fill in that space.

She does, shuffling closer as a long suspenseful intro starts after Willie jack fumbled with the remote. Willie jack tries her hardest to keep her eyes on the screen but it’s the heat radiating off from Mika that makes it hard.

“Hey…you’re not drinking your chocolate?” Mika points out, pulling her head back to look at Willie Jack who fails to hide her staring.

She scratches at her ear, “oh right, it’s still piping hot. Imma let it rest for a bit you know?”

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those iced hot chocolate people?”

Willie jack scrunches up her lips, “I’m not. Don’t even think I ever tried that before.”

“Hmm.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Your face did though.”

“What’s wrong with my face?” Mika leans back to give Willie Jack the side eye.

Now they’re looking at each other and Willie Jack is silently counting the beauty marks that’s on Mika’s diamond shaped face while Mika’s peering at Willie’s side profile.

“Nothing,” Willie Jack fully turns now gripping Mika’s chin and she almost forgets to breathe correctly, “nothing at all,” before she leans forward to press her lips right against Mika’s.

Willie Jack hears her squeal a bit but Mika knows she has to hold on tighter to the mug now while Willie Jack holds her in place. Mika tastes just like chocolate and cherries while her lips feel like fresh petals. Look at that, Willie Jack could be poetic or corny when it comes to romance too! Mika’s unfortunately not Willie Jack’s first kiss but this kiss definitely makes her forget all about what’s their face. The only thing that’s on her mind is how her heart basically skips a beat with her lips right on Mika’s.

And a kiss like this has never made Mika’s toes curl before.

When she pulls back, Mika is curling Willie Jack’s hair back behind her ear. She bits down on her lips to hide her dimpled smile (which doesn’t work in her favor really, Willie Jack was so tempted to poke them) as Willie Jack slowly opens her eyes to meet Mika’s sunset.

Willie Jack remembers to breathe, “What?”

“You kissed me, you really like me.” Mika sings into Willie Jack’s face, while the girl claps her hands against her face hoping her skin isn’t warming up but knows it probably is.

Mika reaches for Willie Jack’s wrist while laying her head back on the couch, “don’t be shy now, that was glorious!”

“Glorious? Oh my god.”

“That a great thing! Marvelous! Splendid even!”

“You sound like one of those teachers who thinks the sun shines out of their ass, bro.”

Mika pauses,“I don’t think you can call me bro anymore.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause we kissed, twice?” Mika holds up the deuces, laughing as Willie Jack shakes her head, trying to wrap her head around the fact that she initiated this kiss.

Willie Jack nods her head at her own thinking, “You’ll always be my bro…just a different type. More meaningful, a higher level.”

“Oooh so I get perks?”

“Yeah…as soon as we figure out what to do about us?”

Mika goes quiet then, knowing their time was limited. She was only here for a week, mainly to visit and go to the state fair but that thought made her depressed since she was also building a life after graduating high school…all the way in Nebraska…and that’s not something she wanted to dwell on right now.

She peers at Willie Jack from underneath her lengthy eyelashes, “We could always just make out some more until we do?”

Willie jack scoffs, “I see, you only want me for my lips.”

“And your heart,” Mika leans into Willie Jack who licks her lips, feeling those butterflies in her stomach.

Willie jack throws her head back, “the rizz is killing me!”

“You love it.”

“I think I do.” Willie Jack nods.

“Yeaaah! So kiss me.”

“I’ll do more of that after we finish the movie, I know you’ll need it.”

“So you’re the one plotting on me then.”

“Noooo.” Wille jack fails to hide her smile although this wasn’t originally her plan…it doesn’t sound half bad now.

Mika pokes the long haired girl, “Now I don’t believe you!”

“Well I hope you have it in your heart not to hold nothing else against me. I made you hot chocolate, I gave you my love—

Mika laughs a bit, “that you did, that you did.”

They briefly place their foreheads against each other until Mika moves to rest her head on Willie Jack’s shoulder. It’s not long that they turn their attention back to the screen, both confused on this grainy yet clearly dated horror film.

“I think we need edibles to enjoy this.”

That would make the most logical sense and why Willie Jack’s dad even owned this film: House (1977).

“Damn,” Willie Jack snaps her finger, “and it would be even better if we at least had the blackberries. All that work we put in, we should at least be able to enjoy them.”

Mika gasps, “I can’t believe I left them in elora’s car.”

“That blows…hopefully cheese holds them down for you or else we’ll have to kick somebody’s ass. And by somebody, I mean bear and probably Jackie’s Wednesday Addams lookin’ ass.”

Mika snorts, missing this friend dynamic, “Meeks and Mena, doing what we do best.”

“Fuck yeah, thriving and Survivin’.”

“Real shit,” Mika grins as Willie Jack slips her hand to intertwine with Mika’s.

And she enjoys how Mika’s hand fits just right in her own, although a little shaky, which reminded Wille Jack of Mika’s old fear of bodies of water when they were much younger, Willie Jack gives Mika’s a quick squeeze to ease any form of anxiety her body maybe experiencing.

Whether it be the wonders of the world or the wonders of their relationship.

They didn’t have to always search for the answers, at least not right away. So for the present they could settle into the excitement of what’s happening in the now…

To just live with the guidance of one another.

With Meeks and Mena holding on no longer tiptoeing…then perhaps that could be more than enough.

🕸️𖤐༘⋆/ᐠ - ˕ -マ༘⋆𖤐🕸️ 🕸️𖤐༘⋆/ᐠ - ˕ -マ༘⋆𖤐🕸️ 🕸️𖤐༘⋆/

Continue with my October anthology prompts here.

[bonebabbles]

God the new ultimate guide sucks

It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.

But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.

SUMMARY THOUGHTS

Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.

They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.

I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.

Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.

Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.

Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.

Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."

It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?

Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.

SHORT STORY THOUGHTS

And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.

Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe

First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"

It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?

Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool

The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.

Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.

I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.

Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.

It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.

I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?

shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?

Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch

A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.

Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.

Story 4: Clear Sky

Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.

Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.

Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."

to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"

Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."

who wrote this? Gray Wing??

[notmakos]

back in june/july 2021 i stumbled upon a very funny playlist titled "game chimps"

i thought the videos inside said playlist were hilarious and aweosm and so i decided to save some of the videos in game chimps to my personal funny video playlist .

its december 2023 and i remember the playlist and now want to revisit that playlist to see the new videos that have been added since i last checked it, but oh noes!! i lost the damn link to it, no problem right? jus find the original creator of it right????????

so i go on to the original channel that created the playlist, wayneradiotv, only to find that it is no longer there

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh well no big deal the internet archive prolly got my back , right?

so i go on to archive.org to see if theres any archive of waynes channel during the time the playlist was public and i am met with this:

uh oh

uh oh 2

one archive, one hope at finding an archive of this holy playlist

and so i click , hoping for the best .......

damn it

the singular archive of his channel during this time is just too late somehow ????

so i think "hey i wonder if i can see when i added those videos from that playlist into mine, maybe i could find something if i narrow things down"

so i end up going onto youtube's playlist API to try and see if i could get the answers i needed

success

alright now lets see if theres anything that could point me in the right direction

nothing

not a singular result that could even allude to this playlist even existing

so i desperately go onto waynes twitter if theres maybe any mention of any sort of playlist at all

this is it, the very small amount of evidence aside from the videos that i had personally saved that hints this playlist at one point existed and i dont even know if this its mentioning the same playlist in question

there is basically nothing else for me to do at this point

theres no way for me to privately reach out to wayne regarding the playlist as his asks and pms are closed, and i dont want to go out harassing his friends that do have open asks/pms about some fucken playlist

i had considered asking in his chat about it during his next stream, but considering that people are currently anticipating hlvrai2, that would be near impossible as the chat would very likely be going too fast for anything to be readable

i am geninely distraught that this fuckign funny video playlist is now lost forever

if you have any sort of archive of this playlist, could be an html file or maybe a txt file of links to the videos that were included in the playlist , please reach out , those videos are simply too godly for me to lose forever

@wayneradiotv if you are reading this please save me , please give a desperate man a link to your funny video playlist

please

[mako-neexu]

read too much jp novels h a h a h a dantes monte cristo loves guda so much so that its frustrating to look at. i wanna KILL HIM. he discarded his role as accomplice and tightly held on to being a leading figure in that one would call it a "father". he fucken thought it was a good thing bc by becoming so much like abbe faria, the first light and fate who had saved him from the tower of despair, he would successfully be able to save guda. and he did. he laid out plans and back up plans for the pseudo tokyo accounting for all variables. the only variable that is constantly unpredictable is ritsuka themself. but still, he was able to save them despite the stupidity he did...

BUT ITS AT THE COST OF HIS HEART SOUL MIND AND BODY.

[nonsense ramble after reading so much father-daughter fics + another thousandth reread for id chapter for edguda]

he clings so tightly to his role as "father" and embraces that one where he would be able to love and be like one but the very excruciating part was that he KNOWS HE KNOWS DEEP DOWN THAT TRY AS HE MIGHT TO SEE RITSUKA AS A "CHILD" HE WANTS TO PROTECT AND LEAD, THE LOVE HE HAS FOR THEM SIMPLY AND WHOLLY GOES BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF A FATHER.

he has taken upon many roles in his life to achieve his revenge. the now with ritsuka differs from that. his goal now is to push them forward and he is the kind of man who cant stop wont stop until he or the adversary is killed. such is the nature of flame.

if ritsuka, his daughter/son were to ask him:

"Papa, if I marry someone else, will you support me with the one I love?"

Naturally, he would be strict. He would see if the person they chose is worthy of them.

"Of course." He replies, like a father would. Happy at the thought of Ritsuka spreading their wings to leave their home, finding their own happiness, as they walked forward towards their own paths.

But because of how he is, his existence almost yet far different from the Count of Monte Cristo that lived during his time, he's a heroic spirit. Originally a mass of curses, a vessel for a scheme with an identity stuck to him that isnt his... yet now that he has that identity, it is *him* nonetheless. He is a flame that would stop at nothing in his path, determination personified once he decides on a goal.

So...the limits of a father would be constricting. To him. Especially when the love he has for guda far exceeds even the qualities of an ocean. Not just deep, not just massive, not just overwhelming in its entirety...

"Of course." He would say with a smile, but not without a tremble to his clenched fist. Not without biting his tongue until he drew blood at the thought of Ritsuka leaving his side, no longer able to guide them and lead them like always. Where... they stand by another person's side. Looking at that other person with the affection of a lover, happiness twinkling so bright in Ritsuka's eyes.

And his chest would throb. In undulating, searing pain at those thoughts.

Where he isn't the one guarding their back, he isn't the one by their side.

Because right now, he is a "father". He is a father caring for his child but what kind of father is he to be so hurt over his child leaving their home, so hurt at the sight of Ritsuka trusting someone else more than him, loving someone else other than him-

He's originally an "accomplice". A role, a title that feels right for both of him and Ritsuka. But for the sake of that star's light, he picked up a new one where it would allow him to push their backs towards tomorrow. and in the end, he's sacrificed and hurt himself so much.

i really think being a father was something he thought would really help ritsuka while unknowingly setting his heart at ease (perhaps yearning once more for that moment to be like abbe faria once more. his form of salvation) if he were to be "so close" to them like this. what happened instead is that he has very very intense and deep feelings that his actions dont really match up with his role of father. hence, id chapter.