#it is like Lord of the Flies but the kids had a reason to go absolutely batshit

[xxgalacticambitionsxx]

so. uh. any Scar Island enjoyers out there

[reidrum]

hit me baby one more time | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader

a/n: i have no explanation for this i just really want spencer to fuck me in a mini skirt. this was also fueled by me listening to baby one more time on repeat for the last week so enjoy my horny thoughts hehe

cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, p in v sex, munch!spencer, blowjobs, soft!dom!spence the loml, praise kink, spanking, suggestive dancing, kissing, afab reader, reader wears the outfit from the baby one more time mv (skirt and bra), i picture s11 spence so don’t mind the inconsistencies, idk if kirk actually wears a tie i am a star wars girlie not star trek, lowkey perv spence at the end but i would do the same tbh

summary: halloween brings spencer joy in many ways, this year he finds a new, and super fucking hot, reason to love the holiday more

wc: 3.3k

___________

spencer loved halloween. this was a known fact by many, he loved the lore behind the holiday, loved dressing up as his favorite characters, and loved playing tricks on morgan and jj around the office.

spencer also loved halloween because he gets to see you. not that he didn’t see you on a daily basis in the office or on the field catching killers, but in a state where you were carefree and didn’t have to worry about the behavior patterns of a psychopath.

in past years spencer has dressed up as different versions of the doctor (still claiming his tenth doctor costume was the best, because it was your favorite), the hobbit from lord of the rings, and nosferatu (to the dismay of morgan’s very scared reaction). you would go a more pop culture route, dressing up as characters from recent movies and shows including barbie, the scarlet witch, and wednesday adams.

he loved being able to tell you the lore of the different characters he was and he loved listening to you explaining the cultural significance and impact that barbie had on society. he could listen to you talk about literal garbage, actually, and still be hanging onto your every word.

what he loved the most, however, was your choice of costume tonight at the karaoke bar the team was out at.

for halloween this year you decided to go with a more nostalgic costume. clad in a black mini skirt, tied up white button up showing your tummy and just the right amount of cleavage to have your hot pink bra pop out, gray cardigan, knee high socks and mary janes, you were the spitting image of britney spears in the baby one more time music video. complete with the ribbon entwined pigtails.

the moment you walked in the bar, spencer knew he was utterly and absolutely fucked.

morgan knew about spencer’s infatuation with you, because, he’s morgan and spencer’s not subtle. so when he watched spencer’s mouth hang open like a beckoning for flies to land in, all he could do was pat him firmly on the back and say, “good luck, kid.”

he watched you walk over to the table the team had claimed, making your rounds at saying hi and hugging everyone. he was last, and when you reached up on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck he had no choice (lie) but to rest his hands at your hips while his thumbs brushed the bare skin of your stomach. he also had no choice (still, a lie) but to be deathly intoxicated by the smell of your shampoo and perfume as you placed your head in the crook of his neck.

“hi spence! your costume looks so cool, i love how it turned out. were you able to find what you needed at that store i told you about?” you bubbled happily.

it took spencer about ten whole seconds of staring at you (and definitely not at your chest) to realize that you were asking him something and tried to quickly (embarrassingly) recover, “um, yeah no i was! she knew so much about star trek and was super helpful, she told me how much she loves seeing you in the store.” 

you giggle, “i’m glad admiral kirk, she’s a sweet old thing.”

he should be ashamed at how you calling him that went straight to his crotch.

“y- you also look great, who are you supposed to be?”

“i’m britney spears! in the baby one more time music video?”, you’re met with a blank stare, “spence, we have to educate you better on the true icons of our time.” you playfully grab his forearm.

he laughs nervously at your joke and the contact and proceeds to down half his beer in one gulp. thank god garcia comes out of nowhere to gush over your outfit, “oh my god girl, you look so hot. you have to get up there and sing it, it’s only right!”

“let me get a few shots in first and then i’ll see, penny” you chuckle back.

after about two shots you were already feeling loose, whatever anxiety you had about tonight dissipated as the alcohol overtook your bloodstream. truth be told, you had a super secret mission up your sleeve. 

you would be a terrible profiler if you didn’t notice the way spencer changed whenever he was in your company, and it never made you feel uncomfortable. you only craved his attention even more, and it made your crush on him run even deeper. he was kind and smart and caring. and undeniably sexy. you knew for a fact he wanted you too, and you were determined to make him do something about it tonight.

knowing spencer hasn’t seen the music video therefore not knowing why the schoolgirl outfit, it turned you on even more knowing he was going to lose his goddamn mind after you were done. the plan was already rolling in your brain as you sauntered up to the karaoke stage and got ready to put on a show.

the beginning beats of the song play and you get a couple of cheers and “let’s go, baby!” from the crowd and your team— sans spencer, who was hanging on your every move as you started swaying your hips.

“my loneliness, is killing me. and i-i-i. i must confess, i still believe, still believe.” you sing and dance the choreography to the song you know so well.

“when i’m not with you, i lose my mind.” you make direct eye contact with spencer, and are more than excited to see him locked in on you too.

you decide to kick your plan up a notch, and walk off the stage mic in hand towards the bau’s table, earning many cheers and phones capturing the moment. you play up the theatrics a little by getting emily and jj to sing along with you, morgan and rossi leaning into you as you wrapped your arms around their shoulders.

“give me a si-i-i-ign,” you’ve reached spencer, and the last step in your plan.

your finger leaves featherlight touches around his shoulders and across his collarbone as you stand behind his chair. a flat hand trails down his chest closer to the bulge in his pants, spencer’s eyes widening at the gesture. your hand reaches the final destination at the base of tie, and you pull it so he’s looking up at you directly.

“hit me baby one more time.” you finish with the biggest smirk, never breaking eye contact with spencer. the cheers and claps became louder but all you could focus on were the deep breaths he was taking to compose himself. you give him a wink as you hand the mic back to the stage guy and walk back to him to sit on his lap.

“you don’t mind, do you? all the seats are taken,” you smirk as you feel his hard on through your lace panties, “plus i really want to hear what you thought about my performance.” you finish whispering in his ear. he shudders in your hold, but the feeling of your ass weighing on the place he needs you the most, his primal instincts take over and suddenly he has a boost of confidence.

he lifts your head so his mouth is right on the crest of your ear, “how about i show you what your performance did to me?” he shifts a little and lightly thrusts up into your clothed core and you let out a small gasp. luckily the team had all but dispersed throughout the bar, getting drinks or dancing, so no one has to be privy to your conversation.

the glint in your eyes was all the confirmation he needed. you stood up slowly with his tie still wrapped around your fingers, and you pull it over your shoulder so he would trail behind you as you walked. spencer followed you like a dog getting tugged by a leash, literally, and stumbles at first when you pull him but he quickly regains his composure as you navigate through the crowds, placing his hands on your waist protectively.

you end up in front of the women’s bathroom and spencer doesn’t hesitate to push the doors open and lead you inside. it was one of those single person bathroom with no other stalls, but it was definitely one of the more nicer bathrooms you’d been in. the maroon pattern of the wall adding to the sultry vibe you’re setting, not to mention a spacious countertop for the sink and amenities.

the possibilities of what was going to happen run wild in your brain, only being pulled out of it by the sharp lock of the door and the feeling of strong hands snaking around your waist again.

you look up to meet his eyes in the mirror and watch spencer fiddle with the edge of your button up, “i don’t think i told you how much i really like your costume.”

“yeah?” you lean back in his touch, “what do you like about it?”

he moves his hands to the middle of your chest, “well, i like how soft the blouse is,” he deftly undoes the knot, “and i really like the color you got on underneath.” he lets the ends of the shirt fall to your side and slides his hands up to cup your breasts through your lace bra, massaging them gently.

you let out a half gasp-moan, “what else?”

“this skirt is really cute, fits you well.” he hums while he smooths over the front close to your core, leaning down to press love bites into your neck.

you turn around in his embrace to face him, lay your hands flat on his chest, and look up at him with the biggest doe eyes you could muster, “want to see what’s underneath it?”

the ghost of a smirk lies on his face and he leans down to capture your lips in a heated kiss. his hand cups your cheek closer to him while his other one grips your ass and lower back.

his tongue slots between yours as he deepens the kiss, and he reaches down to the backs of your thighs to lift you up onto the counter. your legs open up instinctively and he steps in between them letting his hand run up the plush of your thigh to the band of your panties. he toys with the lace pattern of it before he detaches his lips and pulls the skirt all the way up.

he slowly sinks to his knees, never breaking eye contact with you as he whispers, “this is definitely my favorite costume on you.” he’s face to face with your pink panty covered pussy and he lets out a groan when he notices the wet spot in the center. he tentatively traces a finger up and down your slit, gauging your reactions.

soft whimpers fall from your mouth as you let out a whiny, “spencer…”

“don’t worry baby, i’m gonna take care of you.” he coos, “lift your hips.” you oblige as he gently pulls your panties down and stuffs them in his back pocket. his large hands push your legs apart, giving him better access as he tugs you closer to the edge and leans in to draw a long stripe up your core with his tongue.

you let out a high pitched moan at the contact, bracing yourself on the counter with your palms flat down. his tongue draws shapes on you and you feel his finger prodding around your hole before plunging in, driving you straight to delirium.

the sensations begin to overwhelm you and you feel the peak rising in your gut. you tangle your hands in his curls, “pl- please don’t stop.” you whimper.

he groans into your pussy and you feel the vibration sent throughout your entire body, enough to push you over the edge and let the white hot overtake you. he doesn’t stop pumping his fingers or his tongue as he drags out your orgasm for as long as you’ll take it, before you’re yanking him by his hair off of your core and up to your face to kiss him dumb.

the salty taste of you lingers on his lips as you grab his face with both hands and keep him close to you. he lets out a whimper when you tug his hair again, and you smirk as you break the kiss to slide off the counter and drop to your knees. you quickly undo the clasp of his belt, the sound of his zipper going down making spencer’s heartbeat go faster.

the size of his bulge through his boxers was intimidating but it only spurred your desire to please him more. you look up at him and offer an innocent smile as you lean forward to pull back the fabric of his boxers with your teeth and let it fall back into place with a snap.

the impact caused spencer to moan out loud, and he watched with bated breath while you slowly tugged his boxers down to let his cock spring free. you let out a tiny gasp, “spencer…i never knew you were so pretty.” 

his preening turns into a sharp moan as you take in the head of his length into your mouth. swirling your tongue around like a lollipop. you lay your tongue flat on the underside of his cock and slowly let it enter your throat until your nose is flush with his tummy and you’re gagging to keep him inside.

“ho-o-ly shit, fuck.” spencer groans when he looks down to see his whole length down your throat and your eyes bulging with tears at the fullness in your mouth. he wishes he had a photographic memory so he could engrave the vision of you on your knees for him in his brain forever.

you retract back and start bobbing your head on his cock, using your hand to pump whatever you couldn’t easily fit in your mouth. expletives and moans fall from him every millisecond, the feeling being so irrepressible that after a minute spencer had to pry you off him so he didn’t finish in your mouth.

“what, too much?” you grin mischievously, dragging your thumb across your bottom lip to wipe the spit.

his heavy breathing is the only answer you got as he turns your body around to face the mirror, and bends you down at the waist to lean your upper body on the counter. he flips your skirt up so your ass is on display for him and draws his hand back to give your right ass cheek a big smack.

you moan out languishly and he lets out a small chuckle, “kinky, are we?”

“you’re the one who spanked me.”

he bends down to whisper in your ear, “yeah, but you liked it. i can feel you getting wetter.” his fingers return to your core to spread the new wetness onto his cock before aligning it at your entrance. he slowly pushes in, stretching you out bewitchingly. he breaks his gaze from where you connect to look back into the mirror, and god, is he so fucking glad he did.

your face is beautifully fucked out, eyes glistening with tears about to fall over, cheeks flushed, eyebrows furrowed, your arms pressed so perfectly against the sides of your chest your breasts are threatening to spill out of your bra.

“god, you look like a dream,” spencer whispers from behind as he begins thrusting into you. you moan back in response and push back on his cock to meet his thrusts. the noise of your hips meeting and him sliding in and out of you filled the bathroom. 

“i’m so close, fuck, oh my god.” you whine pathetically. spencer can’t help but smugly grin in response, “already? it can’t be over that fast, hold it.”

you gasp out, “i can’t, please, i need to come.”

he wraps one arm around the front of stomach to hoist you up and uses the other hand to tug on your pigtails to lean your head back towards him, “you’ll come when i say you can. you’re my good girl, right? gonna show me how good you can be for me?” he whispers hotly in your ear.

a loud moan escapes your throat as you try to keep your composure and hold your orgasm at bay. his precise and timed thrusts doing nothing to help you, you feel yourself starting to float away, becoming so cockdrunk off of spencer you can barely keep yourself conscious.

“almost there, pretty girl. you’re doing so well, ‘m so proud of you.”

you make the mistake of looking back up at the mirror, becoming grossly entrapped by the image of spencer pounding into you from behind and his equally fucked out face tucked into your neck, “spence…baby, please.”

he whines at the pet name and finally gives in, “okay princess, you can come now.” your second orgasm of the night ravages through you, leaving nothing behind but thoughts of spencer. he continues fucking you through your peak, chasing his own release to come shortly after.

“fuck, i’m close. where d- do you want me to..?” he stutters.

“in my mouth.” you breath out.

he groans out loud, “on your knees.”

he pulls out of you and you immediately drop to your knees, not hesitating to take his length into your mouth and using both hands to pump the remaining. spencer puts a hand on the back of your head and guides you to thrust onto his cock until he lets out another stuttered groan, spurts of his release coating the inside of your mouth.

you make sure to get every last drop of him down your throat, seductively sliding your mouth off his cock with a resounding pop. you’re breathing heavily and you remain on your knees as you try to remember what fucking world you’re even in. spencer grabs you by the forearms to pull you back up to him, and gently perches you back on the counter noting you probably wouldn’t be able to stand on your own anyway.

spencer breathes hotly into your face, his hand coming up to caress your cheek and brush a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. his other hand remains on your waist, drawing soothing circles. you grin widely, and spencer notices and matches your smile without hesitation.

“what?” he laughs lightly.

“nothing, it’s just it looks like my plan worked.” you replied.

“and what was this plan of yours?” he grins.

“well, i just wanted you hot and bothered. i did not expect you to fuck me in a bar bathroom,” he blushes at your admission, “plus, you don’t even shake people’s hands. i definitely thought having sex in a public place, let alone the bathroom of a bar, would be so not your style.”

“i think if you keep wearing outfits like this around me,�� he gestures to your disarrayed button up and bra, “you’ll be surprised at what i’d be willing to do.”

“so, is this a good time to tell you that britney has other music video outfits that are just as iconic as this one?” you gleam up at him.

his eyebrows raise in curiosity, “it certainly would be. on a totally unrelated note, i’m parked right out front.” he half jokes as he pulls you off the counter towards the door. you giggle and follow blindly behind him, when your eyes draw to the back pocket of his trousers and you notice a flash of hot pink.

“spencer! my panties, oh my god. give them back.”

he looks over his shoulder at you, “i have no idea what you’re talking about.” he feigns. you roll your eyes and let him have it, totally ignoring the way he shoves the panties further down his pocket out of sight.

[fortunelowtier]

I still 100% unironically wholeheartedly believe that this scuffed ass reality tv show from 2007 where CBS stranded 40 children in the middle of the NM desert a la Lord of the Flies is one of the most genuinely fascinating pieces of TV I've ever watched just because of how ABSURD it is on every level

-Their society is a bizarre Communism/Democracy hybrid whose entire economy is based on the barter system

-There is a set class system everyone is sorted into against their will who each get paid more or less money depending on how high or low they are on the ladder, and at the end of each episode they must compete in competitions to decide who gets to be at the top, with the "strongest" being able to get the esteemed title of "upper class"

-Every time they would complete a challenge, at the very end they were given a choice of 2 things that could be added to the town, to which the leaders of the teams would vote on which to get (For example, in one episode they had to choose between fresh produce or 50 pizzas). One of these things was letters from the children's parents, implying that the adults on site were receiving the mail from these kid's parents and deliberately withholding it from them

-In one episode the district leaders of each of the 4 teams (the classes) go out and find a chest full of buffalo nickels (the town's currency), they bring the chest to the town and naturally, this creates unprecedented inflation near instantly, as there's now a mass amount of currency that suddenly appeared in the economy

-Their entire society existed in relative stability until the moment religion was introduced in the form of various religious texts (Bibles, the Quran, etc), after which the town immediately started to go to shit. The Jewish kids and Christian kids were at each other's throats about which religion was """better""" (because they're children who had religion forced upon them at a young age before they were able to think for themselves but that's an entire can of worms I won't open), while the 1 (one) Hindu kid was trying to keep the peace

-At one point the kids start to crave meat, as their food up to that point was mostly canned goods and various produce, so one of the """eldest""" members of the group, (I say """eldest""" because he was still only like 14 or 15) who had worked as a butchers apprentice, took one of their chickens and lead the kids into the desert to where he then taught them how to decapitate, pluck, drain, and cook a chicken.

-One of the kids later did a Reddit AMA about his experience on the show, where he then disclosed various things that happened outside of the camera such as, but not limited to: Oil burns, a kid drinking bleach, scorpions, venomous snakes, an outbreak of herpes, the lack of showers, the lack of multiple toilets (up until I believe a few weeks in they only had one outhouse), etc etc etc

-The parents of these kids allegedly had to sign a 22 page waiver that was basically CBS going "If ur kids get hurt you can't sue us", specifically noting "acts of god" in the contract of things that they weren't to be held accountable for

-At the end of every week, the 4 leaders got together to choose which person would receive that week's "gold star", a star made out of 20,000 USD of solid gold (around 30k after adjusting for inflation), an unfathomable amount of money to give to kids who likely had no concept as to how much money 20 grand was

-The town used for Bonanza City is actually a ghost town/film set located just 20 miles from Santa Fe used as a filming location for movies like A Million Ways to Die In the West (2014) and The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981). The reason I bring this up is because it's the same film set in which 14 years later, Alec Baldwin would accidentally discharge a firearm on the set of Rust, resulting in the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins

To anyone asking where to watch this, I genuinely don't know. All of the 13 episodes used to be available on YouTube by someone who re-uploaded them in 2010, but the channel was terminated last year. I've heard that there are a few Google Drive folders floating around that have the raw MP4 files and you could watch them that way but you'd probably have to go digging for it

[symbioticsimplicity]

Based on an idea @thediktatortot and I workshopped in the tags of this post. Enjoy Tommy, Steve, Eddie and Billy being trapped in a room together!

Part 2! Part 3! Part 4! AO3 link!

                                                               *

The world was hell bent on making Steve Harrington suffer. He was sure of it, dead-set, knew it in his soul.

Why else would he have gotten trapped in the high school teacher’s lounge with Eddie Munson, Tommy Hagan, and Billy Hargrove of all people?

“--you didn’t skip gym every fuckin’ year then maybe you could have kept up, freak.” Tommy hissed at Eddie, his teeth gritted as he leaned against the door a demodog was currently trying to knock down.

“Oh yeah cause tackle fucking football really prepares you for the goddamn apocalypse!” Eddie snarled back, marring the effect a little by tripping over his feet as he brought over a chair to prop against the door.

“Shut the fuck up!” Billy growled at them both, “‘M tryin’ to fuckin’ focus!”

He had his back pressed against the door, and was probably the real reason that it hadn’t been caved in yet. Ever since he’d survived his face off with the mindflayer last summer, Billy had been different. Not just in such that he didn’t try to take a bite out of anyone who got too close to him half as often, but in that he could bench his fucking car. Steve knew, because he’d seen him do it one of the days he’d picked Max up for whatever dumb thing the kids were up to. 

“Oh sorry Lou, don’t let us get in the way of your ‘roid rage.” Tommy snitted back, unable to keep his mouth shut for love of life or limb.

“Tommy, for fucks sake shut your mouth for ten goddamn minutes and help me move this vending machine.” Steve cut Billy off before he could escalate what was quickly devolving into a miniaturized Lord of the Flies reenactment.

Tommy aimed an ugly look his way while Eddie snickered.

“King’s callin’ Hagan, be a good little pawn and attend him.” 

“Munson, get your ass over here, you’re helping too.” Steve turned his disapproving glare on Eddie too.

Tommy bowed dramatically, “Ladies first.”

“Age before beauty.” Eddie bowed back.

“Hurry. The. Fuck. UP!” Billy was losing ground by inches. 

Tommy and Eddie took their places on either side of Steve and the three of them started to push the vending machine, inch by screeching inch, across the floor and in front of the door. It filled almost the entire door frame. While it wouldn’t keep a pack of demodogs out for long, it would give them long enough to get their shit together again.

“Okay, so plan?” Steve looked between the three men he now found himself stuck with, “Anybody got a plan?”

“Munson’s the ‘Dungeon Master’, isn’t coming up with plans to beat monsters kind of your thing?” Tommy poked again, securing his place on the mental list Steve knew Eddie kept of people he would eat first in a crisis.

“What the fuck is your problem, douchebag?” Eddie turned his full attention on him, “We’re in the middle of some supernatural life or death bullshit, and your go-to is still ‘Shit on the Freak’? My fuckin’ plan is to trip you while we’re running so they slow down to eat your stupid jock ass.” 

Steve pressed his fists into his eyes, trying to force himself to breathe through the headache he could feel forming at the base of his skull. Of all the combinations of people…

“I was trying to be nice!” Tommy shouted back, and even with his eyes closed, Steve could see the way his hands were gesturing, “That stupid game you play with your weirdo friends has a lot to do with making shit up as you go along! That’s a skill!”

“....did you just admit to knowing what DND is about?” Eddie sounded more confused than angry, like all the fire just burnt right out of him.

“I-! No- I just…”

“Table that,” Billy cut in, “I’m not getting torn apart by another one of those fucking things because you two can’t focus for shit.”

“Who died and made you boss, Hargrove?” Tommy snapped reflexively.

“Your fucking Dad, Hagan. It’s why I’m fucking your mom now too.”

“ENOUGH!” Steve shouted in a voice that sounded so much like Richard Harrington he hated himself a little bit for it, “None of us like each other, we all know that, it’s whatever, old news! But I’m pretty sure none of us want to die, either. You two know better than anyone that this shit is not a game.” 

Steve pointed a finger at Billy and Eddie each in turn before turning his attention on Tommy. 

He was scared, of course he was. Tommy had always used his sharp tongue to cover up his weaknesses, and right now he had to have been feeling about two feet tall and made of tissue paper. Steve had stopped flinching about bodies years ago, but Tommy hadn’t been by his side for that change either. 

So he tried to make himself sound calm, familiar, like they were just talking like they used to when they were dumb little boys sharing secrets during the secret hours of the night where nothing had to mean more than it meant. 

“I know it’s scary as hell, but we’re not going to let you die, Tommy. No one here is dying, not tonight. We’re all on the same team here, and that means we’re going to look out for each other. Okay?”

He held Tommy’s eyes for a moment more, before letting his attention move to Billy, then Eddie in turn.

Eddie was the first to respond, because of course he was.

“Alright, fine. For one night only, coming to an amphitheater near you, the freakiest Friday you’ve ever fucking seen, Off Brand Motley Crue!” Eddie imitated the distant cheering of a crowd and to Steve’s surprise Billy fucking snorted.

He shoved Eddie’s shoulder almost affectionately, muttering “You’re a fuckin’ idiot, Munson.” 

Tommy was still staring at Steve when he looked back at him. There was so much going on in the valley between his eyebrows, Steve could practically hear him thinking.

“Spit it out, Tommy.” Steve sighed while Eddie and Billy wandered off to see if they could scavenge anything of use.

“Is this why you stopped talking to me?” He asked with no preamble.

Fifteen different responses flashed through Steve’s head, all in varying degrees of bitchiness. His patience was more like a roulette wheel than a chord close to snapping at this point. There was every chance he’d say something stupid by sheer chance.

“Kind of?” He shrugged, relieved he’d started off neutral at least, “Some of it, I guess.”

“But not the big part.” Tommy laughs humorlessly, filling in the gaps between what Steve means and what he says as effortlessly as he ever did, “Well shit. Here I was telling myself my best friend ditched me to save me from some crazy horrible death or some shit.”

He laughed again, but the sound was as cruel as it was watery.

“That’s not-- you know that’s not fucking fair Tommy!” Steve could feel his expression folding in on itself.

“Not fair? So you’re saying you didn’t completely bail on me instead of being like ‘Huh we’re kinda assholes and I don’t really like that maybe we should work on that’ like a normal fucking friend would?” Tommy snapped. 

“If you’d said you just wanted to yell at him yourself, I would have ceded the floor to you without a fight, Harrington.” Eddie weighed in from across the room.

“Shut up!” Steve and Tommy chorused together, causing Eddie to raise his hands in surrender with a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

He turned back to Billy, the blonde rolling his eyes as he tore through a drawer full of seasoning packets.

“I’m not fucking stupid, Steve.” Tommy said firmly, his expression looking far more present and alert than Steve was used to, like he’d come out of whatever place he sent himself when there were other people around, “I know you hated what we were like. You’re a nice guy, you always have been. Even though you’re also a total bitch sometimes.”

Steve almost laughed, but the noise caught in his throat instead.

“Yeah well maybe I didn’t think about it. Maybe I was too caught up in needing to change that I told myself I had to get rid of everything to do it.” Steve clenched his jaw, remembering how hard everything had been back then, how alone he’d felt in the canyon between who he was and who he wanted to be.

“I would have changed with you.” Tommy said to his shoes instead of to Steve, “You know. It’s never been about-- about popularity. It’s always been about making you happy.”

The admission caught him like a blow to the stomach. He felt his eyes tearing up and pressed his thumb and forefinger into the bridge of his nose.

“I think near-death experiences with monsters from other dimensions are pretty good catalysts for second chances.” Steve said, when he felt like he could without his voice breaking on him.

“Catalysts?” Tommy raised an eyebrow, “You spend a couple years around a group of nerds and suddenly you start using the big words?”

It’s an insult but it’s good natured, it’s barbed, but like one of those foam prop spiked bats they sell for Halloween. It’s familiar, and it’s easy, and God has Steve missed bantering with someone who knows how to tease him without actually hurting his feelings.

“Pretty face isn’t gonna get me by my whole life.” Steve replied, a smile sneaking onto his lips as a matching smile spans Tommy’s.

Tommy claps him on the shoulder, “Damn straight, once you hit forty that hair is gonna move onto your back and then you’re screwed.”

Steve laughed, feeling relieved by the resolution of something he hadn’t been aware was still bothering him.

“Yeah, yeah, you can’t say that like your skin isn’t gonna melt like your uncle Fred’s did when you hit thirty.”

“Don’t you dare bring Uncle Fred into this!”

                                                             *

To Steve surprise, the demodogs didn’t come crashing through the vending machine door. After about an hour, they stopped trying to get through entirely. 

They thought for a moment that they’d left, but when Billy started pushing the vending machine aside to check, the growling started back up and he quickly moved it back.

“They’re keeping us pinned down.” Eddie muttered around his thumb where he was nervously biting at the skin, “Out of the way.”

“Yeah.” Steve agreed, trying not to let himself think through all the reasons that could be, “Split the party, classic.”

“So you do listen when I talk to you about DND.” Eddie beamed, “Knew it. Closet nerd.”

Billy muttered something that vaguely sounded like ‘closet something’ but he was standing on Steve’s bad side and he couldn’t really be sure. 

Steve rolled his eyes, “You try having six kids and a really hyper metalhead talking your ear off about the same thing all the time. See how much you remember.”

“Jock to nerd pipeline not withstanding, you know why splitting the party is a problem, right?” Eddie continued stubbornly on.

“We’re most of their muscle.” Billy answered instead, “Take us out or pin us down, the rest of them are easier to take out.”

“Ten XP to California.” Eddie clapped.

“So you think they’re trying to keep us out of something?” Tommy asked, surprisingly mindful of his tone.

Eddie nodded, gnawing at his nail again, “We need another way out.”

“Not a lot of options.” Steve glanced around quickly, his leg starting to bounce.

“Pretty much just the front door.” Billy agreed.

“So we need a battle plan.” Tommy summarized, “Okay, right. Munson, what are you good at?”

Eddie frowned and Tommy threw his hands into the air.

“I’m not trying to start shit, I’m asking so we can figure out where the fuck to put you. Hargrove is a one man demolition team, Steve has that bat and he’s really good at taking a punch, I’m good at defence and I can lift a lot more than those things, so what’s your deal?”

Eddie thought for a second, and Steve honestly couldn’t tell if he was considering his answer or if he was pausing for dramatic effect.

“Well,” He started eventually, “I’m good with a shield, and I’m pretty strong too. Don’t look like it, but I can manhandle Stevie here pretty easily.”

Tommy shot him a look that he pointedly ignored. There was no way he was explaining any of that right now, or ever if he had the choice. 

“Steve is easy to manhandle. Barely even fights it.” Billy replied, “That’s not a good gauge of strength.”

“You could rip an airplane in half, you’re not a good gauge of strength.” Eddie gesticulated in Billy’s general direction.

“I fought him way before that.”

“He’s right though.” Tommy shrugged, “Steve never fights being manhandled.”

Eddie scoffed and Steve was pretty sure he was going to choke to death on embarrassment long before the demodogs ever got him.

“Anyway, back on track, guys. You thinking Billy as the spearhead, you and Eddie flanking and me taking up the rear?” Steve tried to guide the conversation back to safer ground before they did something stupid like bond over having all manhandled him at some point.

“Yeah.” Tommy nodded, “Exactly.”

“That’s what I would have said.” Billy shrugged.

“Jock mindmeld.” Eddie shuddered, “Normally, a sign that conformity is alive and well, but right now? Might just save a life. I hate to say it boys, but sportsball might just save the day this time.”

“I’m telling everyone you said that.” Tommy grinned.

“That tripping you plan can still be enacted.” 

[ask-the-koopa-kingdom]

can we get a bit of info about each kid?

[YAPPING TIME, LETS GO!!! - OP]

In addition to the info presented here:

Larry has the least amount of abilities in comparison to his siblings. With only fire breathing and magic blasts, Larry has to get creative in battle. He'd actively practice to get better at magic... if he had the level of commitment required. As mentioned in the first post, he started the ask blog to avoid problems with press - but it's also because he adores any attention he can get. Makes him feel special (T▽T)

Lemmy and Larry are birds of a feather.

Larry could be considered the weakest of the seven, but Lemmy is undoubtedly the smallest. The two hang out more than anything, and can always rely on each other when they need company.

In addition to fire breathing and magic blasts, Lemmy is capable of casting illusions and summoning those silly circus balls he can run over opponents with. A feat achievable with an enhanced balance and acrobatic support in comparison to the others.

Morton is more complicated than he seems. What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in compassion and perception. Streets smarts rather than book smarts. He can tell when something is wrong much faster than the others and is quick to act on it. He's even quicker to put himself in between those he loves and any trouble.

At the moment, he's struggling with anxiety surrounding that specifically. A hunch that there's a danger lurking, ready to attack if he doesn't keep an eye out. (It's not exactly an unfounded one, it's come up after the events of Bowser Jr's Journey where he and his siblings were forced under mind control... that'd make anybody a little worried.)

Only time will tell if he's actually right on this hunch.

(There was this sighting, but... not really reliable)

Similar to Roy, he's one of the strongest Koopalings (he knows this), as such, barely needs to use magic in battle instead of his brute force. So, he thinks learning to use it is a waste of time.

Iggy is EXTREMELY hyperactive, and loud. If there's one thing he doesn't have, it's any lack of intelligence. He's the fastest Koopaling, and prides himself on being a genius (though mad genius is a better way to put it).

His impulsivity can bar him from making the BEST decisions, but his own unpredictability gives him a leg up when required.

Owns a pet Chain Chomp named Chompi, who he treats like a pitbull named Princess. (Most accurate description of that thing as he is GLAD to sic on either unsuspecting plumber).

Wendy is sweet, but extremely cunning. She uses that sweetness to get whatever she wants out of someone, almost imperceptively, whether that be a chat, sweets, or information. (She understands the saying "You'll catch more flies with honey rather than vinegar" and by god does she USE IT.)

She does use magic, moreso for convenience rather than a true desire to learn. She's content with what she knows already. (Sometimes she wishes she could use hypnosis though...)

Good Lord, Roy. On the outside, a tough guy. On the inside, reasons upon reasons to be that way. Dude has layers.

He's a believer in tough love, as such, isn't as outwardly affectionate towards any of his siblings - however, he will still defend them just as fiercely in the event of an emergency.

One of his most important dislikes is the dislike of press

(This one's actually shown up from as far back as the intro post!)

He considers news reporters to be vultures waiting to use something against him and his family. (This is due to a past experience out of canon that's kind of tainted his view on all sorts of press entirely. And makes his relationship with this ask blog pretty complicated too...)

Ludwig has similar beliefs to Roy (Tough love and all that) but he can't help but be a BIT affectionate here and there. However, he's barely had the time due to what he's been doing on his day to day. He keeps a very tight schedule, training at every opportunity he gets, whether it be magic, or hand-to-hand combat, and as mentioned previously, barely sleeps. Not for the best reasons, either. He doesn't have the same anxiety Morton does that something bad's coming their way. He just wants to prove to someone (and himself) that he's the best at what he does.

[If you guys need more specific info, pls ask, these are practically the basics - OP]

[blooming-violets]

Giving preschool teacher Peter Parker a massage, I know those kiddos use his long limbs as a human jungle gym

[from this prompt list] [feel free to request a prompt from the list]

[tasm!peter parker x reader]

Gray Hairs and Massages

"And then, for some unknown reason, Marcus stood up and started singing Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs while Allie attempted to do the worm around him. She hit her face off the floor and got a bloody nose. Meanwhile, Jessica and Kit have climbed to the top of the bookcase and are attempting to jump off, Kevin has Chubs the hamster in his pocket even after I told him not to touch the class pet, Max is spinning in circles so fast that he starts puking, Rowen is crying in the corner because he misses his mom, and the rest of the kids are sitting on the circle time rug looking at me like they've lost all hope in my abilities to run a classroom!"

Peter let out a loud, exaggerated sigh and flopped face first onto the bed after detailing his chaotic work day to you.

"I thought fighting crime was hard," he mumbled into the bunched up blankets under his face. "Preschool is worse than any bad guy I've ever come across."

You repressed a laugh for his own sanity and took a seat on the bed beside him, "At least it'll be good practice for when we have kids. If you can handle 22 children, I think you should be able to handle four with ease."

He peaked his eyes up from his blanket prison to give you a questioning look, "Four? You want four kids now? What happened to only two?"

You shot him a smile and gave an innocent shrug, "Hearing you talk about the chaos made me excited. I want to see you in action. Super dad, Peter Parker. It has a nice ring to it."

He groaned and hid his face back into the blankets, "I don't think I could even handle one. These children are crazed. They're taking over. They know I'm weak. They can smell my blood in the water and they're circling into attack mode. They're going to eat me alive. One day someone will check in on me and my half devoured body will be staring lifeless up at the ceiling while the children have gone completely feral as they feast on my flesh for snacktime. It's Lord of the Flies in there. My head has been pounding all evening."

You chucked at his over exaggeration of the situation and patted his back, "Such a drama queen. My day was lovely, thank you for asking. I got to sit in a quiet library and sort books."

He rolled over and flopped his head into your lap, staring up at you, "That sounds wonderful. Wanna trade?"

"You wish." You brushed your fingers through his thick hair. "Want me to give you a massage? I'll go grab some ibuprofen for your headache and massage away your troubles."

He responded with a pathetically sad whine, "Please. I'm dying."

You scooted out from under him to go grab a bottle of pain meds from the cabinet, along with a glass of water, and your cooling eye mask from the fridge. When you returned, Peter was laying in his boxers and had half unbuttoned his shirt before giving up. His arms were flopped onto the mattress and spread out to either side of him while he stared in a daze up at the ceiling.

"Help me," he croaked, his voice clearly strained from trying to speak over boisterous four year old's all day. "'m so tired. Can't even finish taking my shirt off. Just wanna be comfy..."

"Oh, honey, you poor thing," you chuckled under your breath. "Come here."

You placed his things on the bedside table and quickly made work of unbuttoning his shirt. He shrugged it off his shoulders, grabbing the pain relief next to him and chugging the entire glass of water with it. You helped fix the eye mask around his face and he rolled back onto his stomach.

You climbed up on top of him, straddling your legs on either side of his hips, and started to rub your hands over his bare shoulders. Peter let out a low groan of approval.

"Your hands are so cold," he mumbled.

"Aren't they always like that?" You replied, working your fingers into his large muscles with circular motions.

"Yeah but they feel nice now. You should quit your library job and work as a masseuse. Libraries are a dying breed."

You gasped in feigned outrage, "How dare you speak of my beloved library like that?"

He shrugged his tense shoulders, a tiny smile gracing his half hidden face, "Truth hurts, baby."

"Yeah, well, at least I know I'll never become a preschool teacher."

"Hey, don't mess with us teachers. We're hardcore."

You laughed, "Says the man who couldn't even take off his shirt tonight."

He gave a sly smile, "Maybe I wanted you to be the one to undress me? Maybe I knew exactly what I was doing?"

"Or maybe you were exhausted and lazy?" You patted his shoulder and rolled off him, sitting upright on the mattress. "Turn around and roll over. Put your head in my lap. I'll massage your head."

He did as he was told and settled nicely into your lap, a lingering smile on his lips. You gently took the eye mask off his face to have better access to him. You started with a gentle pressure, circling around his temples and working your way up his hairline to his forehead.

"Imma fall 'sleep," he mumbled.

"Go for it. You deserve the rest."

You continued to work on massaging his scalp, listening to his breathing get steadier and softer, when you looked down and quietly gasped at what you saw. As you ran your fingers through his thick hair, you noticed a patch of gray glinting under the dim light. The more you brushed through it, the more single strands of gray you saw. It wasn't immediately obvious unless you were up close and grooming him like you were doing but, there was no denying it, Peter was graying.

"Well, shit," you whispered under your breath.

Peter peaked a sleepy eye open and mumbled, "What? Don't tell me a kid gave me lice again."

"Not lice. Did you know that you're graying?" You couldn't hide the tinge of amusement in your voice.

His eyes snapped open, the sleep vanishing from his face, and he shot up right.

"What? I'm not going gray! Don't say that!" He gasped, putting a protective hand to his precious hair.

You laughed at his over the top reaction, "Sorry, Pete, but go look in the mirror."

He rolled off the bed and ran to the bathroom. You laid down to curl up in the warm spot his body heat had left on the bed and smiled when you heard his yelp of horror from the other room.

"No!" He yelled. "Those damn kids! This is their fault!" He shuffled back into the bedroom with a pout. "Am I old?"

You rolled your eyes, "You're 35, Peter."

"Is that old?" He sank to knees beside the bed in front of your face and looked up at you with pleading, but playful, eyes.

You nodded, taking on a serious tone, "Very. Oldest man alive."

"Oy vey," he stifled a laugh with his hand. "Might as well get me a cane and call me grandpa. Now that I think about it, my father grayed really early and so did Uncle Ben. At least they both still had a full head of hair. I'd rather be gray than bald. If I start to bald, I need you to put me out of my misery."

You scooted over to give him space to climb into bed with you, "Come on, old man. I promise if you go bald that I will make you a wig out of my own hair."

He rolled into bed beside you and snuggled his face next to yours so your noses were brushing against each other, "I have gray hair."

"I know," you whispered back. "That's so fucking hot."

"Really?"

You nodded, "Oh yeah. You're giving off serious daddy vibes right now." You gave him a sneaky smirk. "Is this old man too tired to please his wife tonight?"

His smile matched yours as you watched his eyes spark to life, "Wow, look at that, I suddenly feel fully rested. You're the perfect cure to a crazy day."

[anynerd]

William T. Spears with an Angel! Reader

Headcanon

[ Not my artwork! Credits to the artist ]

You were a youthful angel. The words to describe you were pure, elegant, yet classy.

Angel! Reader was known to be kind, good with kids, and as curious as a cat, Angel! Reader would always watch from above on the human realm or maybe even disguise herself (aka hide her wings) to interact with the human beings.

William first saw you when he was called down to the human realm to "assist" Grell, and Ronald with their mission. (During Grell the ripper era)

There he saw you, with your wings protectivally covering Ciel, and covering the young Lord's eyes for Angel! Reader thinked that it was too crucial for an "INNOCENT" child to see.

After that night, the grim reaper found out how you were the angel who everyone was talking about.

- the angel that sometimes tried helping some grim reapers locate a soul when they had trouble finding,

The angel that helped the Earl of Phantomhive from a reaper and it's master who were trying to harm Ciel and his demon butler.

William and you officially met one another when he was on a mission in England, where he was above a building's roof and suddenly you bumping into him.

Angel! Reader's POV:

As I was flying in the sky I suddenly got distracted with the birds flying with me to even notice that I was about to fly onto someone.

*OOF* I yelped.

As I dusted off my white dress, I was met with a man wearing a suit and glasses, whom I suspected was a reaper.

"I am terribly sorry for bumping into you mister" I apologized,

William's POV:

A woman with wings flied directly at me, causing me my glasses to fly off of my face,

My vision was blurry as a heard the woman apologizing.

She had a very suiting voice, that had a hint of a British accent into it.

"I am terribly sorry for bumping into you mister" she said,

"It's quite alright, though can you perhaps hand me my glasses miss.. "

I paused "-Miss L/N, oh and here you go"

She, herself placed the glasses onto my nose bridge and bumped it up.

Giggling slightly

William and Angel! Reader later introduced themselves to one another, with Angel! Reader being as "ladylike" as possible and William being as a gentleman as he could.

Who knew after that William, the known work-oholic, the strict boss, the "pusher", the nonchalant man, would start to fall for the Angel? 🤷🏻‍♀️

After that interaction, William found Angel! Reader to be quite fascinating, from her wings, her aura, her reputation as a "goody two shoes" everything

Angel! Reader was the reason why the William T. Spears started taking more missions in the human world with Grell, Ronald and other reapers.

Eventually you got used to him appearing on earth that you and him made a calling sign. (๑ˇεˇ๑)•*¨*•.¸¸♪ whistling

One low note whistle from William, and you were summoned like a genie in a bottle-

One "singingly" note from you and William was there with his death scythe, ready to help you in danger with other dreadful creatures that you couldn't complete on yourself on your Guardian Angel Duties.

Grell found out about how close you were with her man, and wrote your name on her to-die list, with the Nun and Beast from her bassy (ifykyk 😭🙏🏻) above your name

It takes a while for him to accept that he had taken a liking to another creature, but he was thankful it wasn't a demon- (MAN HAS BEEF WITH SEBASTIAN ISTG 😭LMAO)

He, at first denied his feelings but he soon found himself taking you out on a date (a secret one ofc)

The dates he takes you on are mostly private ones, and the ones you take him to are consistently visits to heaven (You're a high ranker in heaven, as a Guardian Angel, like how William is in the Shinigami world)

Visits to the gates of Heaven, walks in the clouds in heaven, or even William seating on your back as you fly above in the sky with your wings.

When your and his relationship is finally public, you make visits at him at his building to his office to drop off homemade and home-packed Lunchboxes for him (as you understand how focused he is during work hours and understand how late he can get home)

Now you're a known power couple with your guys High ranked statuses, in both Heaven and the underground.

[thelindenpapers]

I actually wound up liking "The Woman King" as a movie way, WAY better than 300.

It is beautiful cinematically, it touches on some things and addresses some things that are good…

But please don't get it twisted, because that was NOT a historical movie. ^^;;; We know that.

The sunrises were beautiful, but I do not perceive it as a society that I wish to return to.

Because it does envision a world in which most of the hierarchies that plague us now, are still in place.

If you pay attention to the beginning, they're pretty adamant about showing this.

A lot of what is depicted seems like an attempt to say, "Look! This society in Africa was just as good as white people's, because, see: we had money, and patriarchy, and rich people, and kings, and war, too! That's what makes a civilization!"

For me, that whole attempt misses the plot on what it means to be a human.

There's a fundamental thing that I think that we miss when folks say, "Well, but look: white people are right, because they have all the money and all the power. They're "winning"!"

…Sure, that's winning….

If you enjoy being hated by your kids and having to down twelve Zoloft and two bottles of wine and step on the necks of fifty different people before breakfast, just to be able to stand being yourself for five fucking minutes… :/

Let's not pretend that these "winning" rich people and monarchs and oligarchs have healthy relationships with themselves, much less their families, much less anyone else.

The image of happiness that they project is often just that: a very carefully (and desperately) maintained IMAGE.

Even more basic than that: It's winning if you're a virus.

If you are an unselfaware gorilla, who lives in a troupe rather than a society, and your only idea of a "good" life is about domination and control. About who can you manipulate, who can you threaten, who can you hit over the head with a stick and gain power, for the sole purpose of just having power.

That is an ape troupe's idea of winning.

The kind of "winning" where scientists start to study you to try and figure out what's wrong with you.

We are apes, and descended from apes -- but we're not in an ape troupe...or really, we're not supposed to be.

We are HUMANS.

Humans are a KIND of ape, but we became different for a reason.

The fossil record shows a point, hundreds of thousands of years back in history, where the strongest apes -- the ones who were using violence and strength and threats to control and lord it over the other members of their community -- started dropping like flies.

Because one of the weaker apes had invented the blow gun.

And one of the other weaker apes knew how to make poison.

And all the other weaker apes agreed, "yeah, you know what, this guy is a fucking asshole, he needs to go!"

This happened multiple times across the populations of our ape ancestors, at roughly the same time frame in human evolution.

…And afterwards?

After our ancestors ended these strongest apes?

That's when our ape ancestors began to evolve at an EXPONENTIAL rate.

That's when we started to live by collaboration, consent, community, and trying to continually make conditions better for each other; instead of constantly trying to hoard and compete and get over on one another…that's when we started to have each other's backs on the regular.

After our ape ancestors sent their tyrants into the dirt; THAT'S when you start to see extremely complex language and tool-making and art and architecture EXPLODE across human culture: opening up all kinds of different options for life and for living.

All the things that make us FULLY human -- not just apes -- all these things resulted from us looking at nature's 'Might Makes Right', 'Red in Tooth and Claw', types of "winning", and saying to each other, "I'M SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!"

Nature is beautiful, yes. It birthed us. We need to cohabit with it sustainably and respectfully in order to live.

Yet, becoming human was an ancestral act of REVOLUTION.

It is relatively only very, very recently in the span of human existence when folk whose only loyalty is to capitalism and the made-up concept of whiteness, have swept across the world and RE-reframed the concept of "winning" according to fucking ape-brained bullshit that humanity had gotten rid of LONG ago.

They're doing it in ways that hurt not just everyone else, but themselves, too.

They are literally murdering the global ecosystem to do it.

And it disturbs me how many people have accepted that return to an absolute trash concept of "winning", instead of seeing it for what it is: NOT "the way humans just are"; but a regression, back into semi-conscious and ultimately suicidal ape-troupe mentality.

[lampmanliveblogs]

Luz: ”Do… you not understand what death means to mortals?” Collector: ”Noooo… no, I don’t think so. I think one of my cousin’s friends decided to check out what being dead was like… haven’t heard from them for a long time. I wonder what they found there?”

(okay, last at4w reference, I swear)

Going back to the idea of The Collector as a kid: Their ignorance of death doesn’t stem only from the fact that they’re an immortal god, but also the fact that they’re a child. And all children start out as ignorant.

But it might not be just that.

The implications in the last episode were that the little space cherub that we call The Collector was part of a group of Collectors that came to this world long ago. They waged war against the mighty Titans, the only beings that could contend with them and created the Titan Trappers for that purpose. And they might even be the reason why this planet looks the way it does.

The little Lord of the Fireflies, perhaps being the annoying young kid of the group, or maybe the cosmic equivalent of a runt was tossed aside and made friends with some Titans… until he was sealed away by King’s dad.

The point is that The Collector’s already got some baggage. And that baggage might be holding him back from processing why certain things are wrong.

Collectors: ”We have rid the world of the only beings that stood in the way of us creating a perfect collection of all the universe’s specimen.” Me: ”You ruined a perfectly good child is what you did. Look at it. It’s got trauma.”

Collector: ”So let me show you some of my favorite games…” Luz: ”Oh no! Not Knife Monopoly!” Collector: ”I was actually going to hunt you for sport, but now I’m really interested in what Knife Monopoly is.”

Pictured: you’re a really supportive person, but your neutral expression is perpetually annoyed.

More importantly, Raine’s fighting back against Belos! And they’re… doing alright. For some reason, the little crescent moon sticker peeled off and Raine turned back into a flesh and blood witch instead of a puppet, which seemed to help a little. Not sure if the sticker falling off was due to the distance from The Collector, or Raine fighting back, or if the possession by Philip caused it to decay and that’s why it fell off?

I’m kinda worried about Raine, because, well… Hunter had Philip cling to him for a few minutes and look what happened to him. Philip’s been leeching off Raine for who knows how long. Maybe Raine being a puppet helped a little, like maybe they were sturdier because of that? Still, that can’t be good for their health.

After RayRay flies off on one of Kirby’s warp stars that’s been painted blue to make it legally distinct, we get to see the inside the archive part of the Archive House, where The Collector keeps all their puppets. We see here Amity, Hunter, Willow and Gus, unceremoniously dumped on the floor.

A close-up of Amity’s hand reveals it’s beginning to twitch.

Hmm… Hooty was very briefly able to communicate last episode despite being turned into a puppet, but Lord Hooty is built different AND was using the Power of Friendship. Amity could be using the Power of Love here to break free of The Collector’s spell; maybe being briefly aware of what was going on inside the nightmare lessened the effects of the puppet spell.

It could also that my theory above about how putting some distance between The Collector and a puppet will cause the spell to lose power. The Collector’s off to some pocket dimension or something. Though I’m gonna say it’s because of the Power of Love and Friendship. After all, as we’ve established before, The Owl House is an anime and thus the power of Love and the Power of Friendship are real forces within this world.

AH YES THIS IS SURE TO MAKE THEM WANT TO BE YOUR FRIENDS COLLECTOR

So The Collector’s favorite game is Pac Man???

[fixing-bad-posts]

Rings of power Thoughts?

thank you for asking!!! hello, i’m back with part two: rings of power as poor writing (here’s part one: rings of power as a bad adaptation). yes, i will be taking cheap shots at the writers.

rings of power exists on a basis of faulty scaffolding, structured using the ‘mystery box’ story device on unsuitable material. the characters are flat, making interpersonal conflicts inconsequential. on top of all of this, the show is tonally confused, and struggles to recreate high-fantasy dialogue to a believable calibre.

so first, the pettiest complaint: dialogue. i’m just getting this out of the way so that you know this is how characters speak throughout the entire series—when they aren’t stealing quotes from the lord of the rings movies, they’re inventing nonsense idioms and phrases (“a dog can bark at the moon but he cannot bring it down,” “the ground had swallowed up the people like flies.”) these are writers who try to emulate tolkien’s style of dialogue without being familiar with any of the sources tolkien was inspired by (arthuriana, shakespeare, etc.). anyway. that’s just something you have to live with as you watch the show.

now for larger problems: season one of rings of power is (for some godforsaken reason) structured around a series of unanswered questions that the viewer is asked to ponder throughout the series: for example, ‘who is sauron?’ or ‘what is the deal with the naked man who fell from the sky?’ unlike lord of the rings, rop is not structured like a fantasy epic, but like a genre-mystery set in middle earth.

the problem arises with the fact that they seem incapable of following through on the structure they’ve chosen. in order to engage the viewers in their posited questions, they need to present compelling clues along the way with which to speculate on the answers. instead, in the case of the naked man who fell from the sky (called “the stranger”), nothing he does from episode to episode impacts his plotline, nor does it connect to anything else. his incidents of magic are isolated, enigmatic, and frightening, and never go beyond that. his identity (as gandalf) is meant to be a reveal, but the one clue we’re given about him before the show has him quote movie-gandalf’s greatest hits (to really hammer-home that he’s gandalf) is: he has powerful magic. that’s it. and their treatment of the sauron question is worse—they provide the same misdirection on sauron over and over again: this guy is sauron, just kidding, he’s not. they introduce the commander of an orc army and have characters declare that he is sauron, only to deny it a couple episodes later. they introduce an ominous, enigmatic sorcerer character who watches characters from afar only to have him declare he only serves sauron. the try and tell us in the finale that gandalf is actually sauron by having a character call him “sauron”—once again, this is trite deception. it’s as if the writers do not trust themselves to seed evidence without tipping their hand to the audience.

meanwhile, the real sauron’s deception relies on the audience playing along with the writer’s inability to adhere to competent character/world building. we meet sauron (secretly going by halbrand) adrift on a raft, among survivors of an undetailed orc raid, and are told very little about his backstory. what we do learn about him is sparse compared to other characters like elrond and galadriel, but is about on-par with original characters like arondir and bronwyn, who themselves are objectively underwritten (more on this later). eventually we find out that he is the king of the southlands—apparently. shrewd viewers will realize near-immediately that his backstory makes very little sense, and his character wants/needs are—as they’re presented—nonsensical. but this is also true of bronwyn and arondir, who are not supposed to be objects of suspicion. savvy viewers are left to conclude that halbrand’s inconsistent backstory is clumsy writing rather than suspicious behaviour—after all, if halbrand is suspicious for having no backstory, then so is arondir. if halbrand is suspicious for claiming to be the nonexistent‘king of the southlands,’ then so is gil-galad for espousing a nonexistent fourth silmaril. if halbrand is suspicious because he’s an unremarkable person who very quickly adopts a great deal of political and social influence on nothing but (dubious) charisma, then so is bronwyn. we cannot suspect halbrand without also suspecting almost every other original character in the show, because the inconsistencies they write on purpose in the case of sauron are done on accident with every other original character. and galadriel—the character whom we are told is 1) very intelligent and 2) the foremost expert in sauron-hunting—has zero suspicions about halbrand and interrogates nothing of him before the finale. we get no validation for picking up on his inconsistencies.

viewers familiar with the book canon will also know that there is no ‘king of the southlands.’ however, as i mentioned in part one: rings of power as a bad adaptation, they also invented an entire fourth silmaril which never existed in book-canon. we are left to conclude that his fictitious title is meant to be taken as fact in the context of the series. later, as the reveal happens, galadriel finally begins to question his backstory, and after some research, comes to the revelation that there is no king of the southlands—but any deception regarding sauron’s identity relies on the audience already expecting the writers to be too incompetent to seed a plot twist. the writing does not respect the intelligence of the characters who are in-universe alleged to be highly intelligent, nor does it respect the intelligence of the audience by refusing to give us the chance to follow along and solve the mysteries they themselves set up. possibly this is because the writers themselves aren’t very smart. 

admittedly this is speculation, but it seems that the reason they’ve structured the season around a series of mysteries to be solved is that they’re incapable of pitting characters against each other based on opposing goals, and/or conflicting wants/needs. there are several characters who have personal/emotional stake in the actions of other characters, yet threats are largely external and rarely interpersonal. arguments don’t change the course of the plot and thus feel unnecessary. bronwyn’s son wants to risk his life to gather food for the village—she argues with him not to, and he does it anyway. galadriel doesn’t want to get on a boat—she and elrond argue, she gets on the boat, but then jumps off anyway. isildur wants to pursue a path his father disagrees with—they argue about it, and he sabotages his career anyway. halbrand, set to sail to the mainland, claims he doesn’t want to sail—he and galadriel argue, and then they sail to the mainland anyway. the writers only know how to write one kind of argument: character a wants to do something; character b says, “don’t do it!” character a does it anyway. characters have no ability to impact other characters via words or actions. as a writing tool, argument scenes/confrontation scenes should always change the course of the plot and/or progress a character’s arc. instead, the writers of rop treat confrontation scenes as spectacle to include whenever an episode’s overall volume level is too quiet.

the main reason that interpersonal conflict is so difficult for the writers of rop is that, without the crux of pre-written material, rop cannot/does not present complex characters. galadriel is the first protagonist we’re introduced to, and they assign her the action girl character trope, played straight and never subverted or deconstructed. galadriel is one of the oldest characters in the show, yet she’s played as the youngest and least mature. it’s difficult to root for her or believe that she’s respected in any sense when she possesses no decorum, restraint, and lacks the ability to negotiate without insulting those around her. her skills as a politician are learned from halbrand (sauron), a random man whom she meets by chance, who gives her advice like, ‘you should ally yourself with people in power positions instead of threatening them if you want their resources.’ what we are told about her (she is very old, experienced, and highly respected) is constantly refuted by the way she is actually written (brash, short-tempered/sighted, and inconsiderate).

meanwhile, we have the original characters. bronwyn and arondir are a human woman and an elven man allegedly in taboo-love, but it’s difficult to become invested in them without creating elaborate headcanons because (as i alluded to above, in the sauron section) they are underdeveloped. we know next to nothing about who either of them are as people. what do they want in life? what do they—conversely—need out of life? what about arondir meets a need in bronwyn’s life? what about bronwyn meets a need in arondir’s life? none of these questions are answered in-text. presumably they find each other attractive. nothing about them is contradictory, but then nothing is said at all. arondir is good with bronwyn’s son (she’s a single mother)—sure, but what does this mean for her specifically? what does this mean to her son? the stock setup they’ve crafted isn’t inherently faulty, but in rop, this basis is not the foundation of a story, it’s the entire story.

they try to develop bronwyn as her own character in the second half of the series by making her the leader of her village when a band of orcs threaten their safety. this would be an excellent arc, if only it was written like one, and given challenges to overcome. instead, she faces no opposition to taking a leadership role despite the fact that the first half of the series implied that she was not seen favourably among her neighbours due to her rumoured connection with arondir. this piece of setup is dropped as soon as they need to change her role in the story. once she is a leader, she never makes any mistakes or is given a chance to learn from them (in this way, underfunded series 4 of bbc merlin does a better job developing leadership than overfunded rings of power). it’s frustrating because she’s set up with the potential to be a complex, contemporary-minded leader; however, she never reads as a realistic woman, but rather as an inauthentic facsimile of a woman-character written into a position of power by writers who love the idea of strong female leads, but cannot feasibly imagine what kinds of challenges a semi-pariah’ed single mother would go through to be respected. bronwyn is done a disservice by a narrative which doesn’t allow her to prove herself.

as for the harfoots, their plotline always feels like a genre jump into a show for a much younger audience—nori’s desire to see the world/have adventures despite the dominant world-wary harfoot culture is at best a blatant attempt to rewrite the hobbit, and an immature cliché at worst (her character archetype is most recognizable from disney movies). this isn’t to say that tv series can’t genre-hop from plotline to plotline (i think sense8 does this quite well in season 1), but in the case of rop, the simplicity of nori’s construction only reinforces the quality gulf between canon characters and original characters.

tl;dr—it’s clear that if this show was not affixed to tolkien’s name, it would be an overfunded passion project by writers crafting their very first fantasy. the structure they’ve chosen is wrong for the material, and they struggle to follow through on the seeding it demands. their plot twists thrive not on skill but on the audience taking pity. their characters are underwritten, and their female characters are especially token. besides all of this, to watch the show at all, you have to sit through dialogue that sounds like it was written by the dragon from merlin.

(stay tuned for part three: parting thoughts & the funniest details from rings of power)

[locution-youngster-enjoyer]

Ever since i read Lord of The Flies for school i've been thinking "What if the Wordgirl villains were stuck on an island?"

Of course, it wouldn't immediately turn into LoTF for two reasons: 1. Most of them are adults, 2. Most of them have read the book, and if not, they're given the rundown.

Also, there won't be much of a problem dealing with food, since they've got the Butcher.

Despite all of this, it would still be pretty hectic. Most of them are used to city life and would have a hard time adjusting to the various discomforts of living in the wilderness, so they somehow all collectively agree to vote Leslie as the 'leader' since she has the most experience.

That in itself causes drama because while Leslie is fine with helping and 'being in charge,' Big doesn't appreciate having his assistant be in charge and not him.

Back on the topic of most of them being city folks, they probably suck at foraging and identifying plants, and someone manages to touch or eat something they shouldn't have and are stuck suffering while everyone else has to figure out how to help them. For some reason, I feel like Granny May would wind up being the one to care for anyone sick or injured.

Then there is the deal with shelter. Some people try to find a cave or two, but logically there is no way that they can fit everyone into a cave unless it's a large cave. People start trying to build shelters out of sticks, but the process is slow because of the more chaotic and hyperactive people (Ex: Whammer, Eileen, Invisibill) keep screwing things up and causing the shelters to collapse.

So now there's the problem of the group starting to split up because of their pride, and since Leslie was unceremoniously decided to be leader, she's also stuck picking up the messes of everyone and trying to keep the whole group together.

Everyone's unhappy from the combination of being stuck together and the intense heat of the island. Basically everyone is half dressed with any extra layer just thrown into a pile or torn up to use as bandages.

Some people are thinking "The city has got to notice that the villains are missing by now? Surely Wordgirl is coming to save us?"

Others wonder "Do they even want us back?"

That's when Tobey remembers that he had brought a gadget that could save them all; a tiny robot that can grow into a huge one. It could be used to carry them all, or go out to find help. Thinking this is a chance to show off and gain the admiration of the group, he shows it off.

Instead of the expected reaction, the group of sweaty, sick, and aggravated villains all turn to this 10 year old, with only Leslie, the one person who is perhaps the most worn out of them all, manages to say what they're all thinking;

"Are you. Fucking. Kidding me."

[debbeh]

Recap of every Yonderland episode but only until my legs fall asleep and there is no context.

Season 1

Debbie is your run-of-the-mill mother who likes to eat crisps and watch TV. For some reason an Elf appears in her Cupboard and she’s all like wtf, why is there an elf in my cupboard. And Elf is like, wtf I have a name? And the stick he’s holding is like, oi, my names nick. Anyways, Debbie and Elf consult the wise Elders about why she’s here and they’re like, idk ask the oracle and the oracles like, yeah you’re the chosen one or whatever. You gotta like save the place from evil or whatever- oh also your gonna meet some guys named Jon or Robert or something. Debbie’s still like wtf but then she stops a fight between some goofy little guys and everyone’s goin crazy cuz woah! Not klling people? Crazy. And Debbies like bro its just commons sense. I just had to tell these guys to apologize- what are they’re names again? JOHN AND ROBERT!!! (air horn + vine boom) OH SHIT. and then, what’s this? After credit! ITS FUCKING NEGATUS

She wants to figure more about why it is foretold that she has to save Yonderland or whatever so they go to this temple to find a scroll (insert literal lesbian love story that they never talk abt again) and they get a wizard to help. Yada yada yada… they get in the temple but they lose the scroll, oh well. Anyways, hm this Negatus guy sounds pretty nasty huh?

Yoooo Negatus totally burned down a temple and now all the monks are homeless. Negatus sends his demons to hunt down Debbie and the monks. Whats this? The monks can lie now??? Wahoo, Negatus gets yelled at. So sad. 

OMG ITS THE OLYMPICS BUT WITH KISSSSING?????

Debbie misses her kids but the elders are like, oooh we make song for you and make your hair pretty and she’s like ok I guess I’ll stay. 

King what’s his face says he knows where another prophetic scroll is- sike he just wants to bang her- oh no negatus is here! But don’t worry! He has no pants! Negatus gets stabbed in the foot and Debbie learns the value of sharing

Speaking of idiots, Debbie gets kidnapped by a whole town of them! They’re called Ninnies and they wear potato sacks (so sad). This episode is basically The Giver. She teaches them that reading: good and that they shouldn’t be giving Negatus precious diamonds for free. Meanwhile, Negatus, in an attempt to woo his boss, a mysterious shadowey figure, hires a guy named Kenall (the twinkiest twink you’ve ever seen) to cut the diamonds he stole so he can buy an army. Sike, kendall is an idiot. The end

Negatus dresses up as the embodiment of Bo Burnhams's Shit and tricks Debbie into going to his lair. Little does Negatus know, Debbie has friends and ALLLLMMMMOOOOSSTTTT gets Negatus to see the power of friendship but last minutes hes like byeeeee bitches!!! And kidnaps her (this is a common theme). Luckily her friends save her last minute but as she is teleporting out using Nick the stick who is also the portal to her cupboard (I forgot to mention), she sees Negatus’s boss and is like huhhh, you look awful familiar……..

End of season one!!!

Season 2

Negatus buys mech suit to kill debbie, Elders go on lockdown and do a lord of the flies. I love this episode but I DO NOT remember what was important abt this one besides Evil boss lady get mad at Negatus >:(

Debbie goes to a fair and solves a murder mystery, Negatus gets audited.

Knight flirts with Debbie and Debbie teaches him the value of realizing you are geh. 

Ninnies are back but they’re all finance bros but they don’t pay their workers. Debbie helps them fix that so Elders can get pillows.

Debbie finds out that mysterious boss lady is her twin sister!!! Saves Mathew Baynton (AKA gross kangaroo nany) from a gas leak. 

Debbie joins the french revolution

Debbie saves an endangered species with phalic-ass noses.

TRANS HOTAN TRANS HOTAN <3. Big showdwon with evil twin

The end!

Season 3 (last season)

One of the old elders is back and Negatus does not turn into a gross idiot for 10 minutes

Oh no! Old elder is evil and Elders go into hiding, Debbie is framed and they break into their throne room thingy

Nobody trusts debbie but she helps knockoff batman find his true passion in becoming Mr. Cav (Accounting teacher for the 5 of you that are reading this that I don't know in person)

Drag bake off becomes war zone and Negatus gets his feet massaged.

Negatus arrested for writing Dick smellz on a wall. Debbie helps him break out- SO CLOSE TO A CHARACTER REDEMPTION ARC ITS NOT EVEN FUNNy

NEGATUS DO SOME SPYING VERY SILLLY Y GOOFY

Beauty contest but if you’re not pretty you fucking die

Time travel take da pain away. 

Christmas Special!!!

Sike, its called Thanktival here (and there’s 143 days instead of 12). Chompus eat da presents. Negatus redemption arc FINALLY???????? He become santa, insert balls joke x 5. Elders’s kiddos compete in a singing competition and wow everyone with this thing called carols????? Elder Vex wears sweater. Balls joke. Negatus go sleepy in PJs. the end :3

:3

[skullndaisy]

Pokemon Nuzlocke Roguelike Concept

Ok, so I've kinda had this concept stuck in my head ever since I finished Pokemon Scarlet because I think the newer games have just gotten too easy (unless they always were and kid brain is tricking me) and I believe that Gamefreak should make games for the demographic that grew up with them too~

<Long Post Ahead>

(and art lol)

ALRIGHT SO, I've already rambled about this shit to two different people (love u @donuts4evry1) because I think it would be so fun.

It would have to be the first adult-oriented pokemon game, thus the adult trainers, since I doubt kids would have a good time seeing Pikachu die (we are going to ignore the movies rq).

The Roguelike aspect is kind of like a battle tower in concept- with its nonstop battles, getting more difficult as it continues. The setting as I imagined it would be a hostile island with aggressive pokemon and even more aggressive stranded trainers after a plane crash.

I haven't named the two protagonists yet! Since this roguelike is also story-based regardless of each reset (kinda like Hades) I feel like they should have their own identities and be less constructed by the player (which feels blasphemous but I like having protags with personality, even if they are silent the whole time.)

They were on a plane headed to the Kanto region until their plane crashed on an isolated island in the middle of nowhere. All the people inside survived, but it quickly turned to chaos when they realized help would not be coming as fast as they hoped. V Lord of the Flies. The protagonists weren't initially pokemon trainers, for their own tragic reasons I guess lol, but they realized the only way they could survive was to become one. Their goal and sole purpose are to find any means of escape. I have yet to decide by what means they can escape.

As for gameplay concepts....

Each room the player enters has one of three:

Encounter room which is filled with wild pokemon, loot, and areas without tall grass so you can heal up/bond with your pokemon (which I will get into later).

The battle rooms where you have to clear out a certain amount of trainers without losing your pokemon (Also double battles, where the other protagonists joins your battles for a temporary amount of rooms.).

And then ofc boss rooms with high-level strong asf pokemon that you could battle for EXP or catch- or just a particularly difficult trainer battle, kinda like a gym leader. Once you encounter these, you are headed to the next part of the map. The end goal is to find

When it comes to getting attached to pokemon, you have to name each one you catch, typical Nuzlocke rules. You also have to find medical equipment in each room since Nurse Joy ain't on the island- which leads to a heal-up minigame!! You can also feed them and pet them!! Because fuck you Gamefreak!! The more you care for the pokemon you catch the more EXP it could potentially gain with each battle, also all the friendship perks regular pokemon games have.

Encounter rooms are tailored to have similarly leveled pokemon to your team, and a very limited amount spawn, and it's completely randomized. You have the choice to either grind up your current team or catch more. You also have to release pokemon you no longer want since you don't have a box system, which ofc will be emotional and 100% should have a sad pokemon staring at you as you release it. (like Nintendogs when ur puppy stares at you dejectedly as you delete its existence, shit was traumatic.)

As for the elephant in the room; yeah pokemon will die to mirror the Nuzlocke concept. Oh, also each dead pokemon has a cutscene for more insult to injury, gotta make it hurt. Once you lose your last pokemon you have to start at the very beginning. Each run starts with giving you 5-10 pokeballs, randomized effectiveness. Loot can be found in every room and ranges from pokeballs, to healing items, to exp candy, and so on.

SO yeah! This is what I've come up with so far! I have no intention of actually making this game, I don't know the first thing when it comes to being a game dev (haha hi again Donut) but I thought this would be neat to share with y'all. Maybe someone else can give this concept a try? Just let me know if you do!!

Also if you wanna add to the lore or whatever feel free to~

[decadent-hag]

“There are a lot of things you can say about why the Beatles attract the teenage crowd. “The music is loud, primitive, insistent, strongly rhythmic, and releases in a disguised way (can it be called sublimation?) the all too tenuously controlled, newly acquired physical impulses of the teenager. “Mix this up with the phenomena of mass hypnosis, contagious hysteria, and the blissful feeling of being mixed up in an all-embracing, orgiastic experience, and every kid can become ‘Lord of the Flies' or the Beatles. “Why do the kids scream, faint, gyrate and in general look like a primeval, protoplasmic upheaval and go into ecstatic convulsions when certain identifiable and expected trade-marks come forth, such as ‘O yeah!’ a twist of the hips or the thrusting out of an electric guitar? “Regardless of the causes or reasons for the behavior of these youngsters, it had the impact of an unholy bedlam, the like of which I have never seen. It caused me to feel that such should not be allowed again, if only for the good of the youngsters. "It was an orgy for teenagers."

[alotshouldbeoneword-thegrey]

That Lil Demon Baby

The first words the child said were "I am to destroy the world". Their parents, two respectable and completely normal humans by the names of Pam and Lionel tried to ignore it. They strained to ignore all the instances of snake carcasses, the red markings on the walls, and all of those pesky cockroaches that scuttled behind the baby as they crawled. But, two months after their birth when the baby looked like the healthiest eight year-old to play with sticks, Pam and Lionel started to worry.

At three months they decided their name was Maggot due to their love of rotten meat. Pam yelled and Lionel wept. Maggot ran loose through the countryside leading their parade of beetles and rodents. Cats hissed and dogs growled when they strolled past. Maggot recruited local teens to burn abandoned barns and steal from Walmart; it did not take long for them to become the boogeyman of every reasonable adult in the small town of Halter.

As Maggot gained more juvenile followers and prepared for the big day, the townspeople gathered the torches and pitchforks. Swarms of flies and hornets gathered around the five-month-old teenager and rain gave way to burning pieces of toenails when it hit them. Maggot taught the children of Halter many things like speaking to pests and creating plagues. The kids turned against their parents with arguments and accusatory looks, but the parents weren't going to surrender their children to this demonic influence without a fight.

Lionel and Pam made the decision that they could no longer support their child's deviance, so they kicked Maggot out. All this was going perfectly to Maggot's plan, and they moved into the woods where they had been preparing The Weapon. When they learned where Maggot was staying, the adults formed a mob and marched on the forest, prepared to burn the child alive.

The Weapon was ready and Maggot was so excited the snakes that sat on their neck and waist tightened until Maggot's eyes popped out and they had to shove them back into their sockets. When the murderous crowed arrived, they were met with a horrendous sight. The mob hurled itself at the child, but out of the trees came the children of Halter to defend Maggot from their parent's wrath. Uncaring and blinded by love the mob trampled, and strangled, and stabbed until not one child is left standing. All this they did in the pursuit of protecting the children, but when they finally reached that devious infant lord of hell, all that was left was a giant pattern of dead cockroaches that read "I love you Mom and Dad <3".

[theabstruseone]

I loathe Lord of the Flies. And I probably wouldn't (or at least not as much) if I had competent teachers.

Due to a scheduling issue (I had to change teachers because one marked me a zero on a major project when I was out of school for a week attending an out-of-state funeral and refused to offer a make-up since "I should've done it while I was away" despite it being assigned and marked as due during the time I was away so I had no way of knowing there was a project due), I ended up having to cover this goddamn book TWICE.

In neither classroom...ONCE...was it explained...that the ENTIRE POINT of the book...was that these were RICH PRIVATE SCHOOL KIDS and the reason why they're sociopathic assholes is because they've literally never faced a consequence before so kept acting like there were no consequences when they had no safety net of their parents' money and a society tilted in their favor to protect them.

Oh, we lot lots of lectures on the fact that man is nothing but animals and we return to our baser instincts without the protections of civilization and the symbolism of killing Piggy and Simon representing the death of intellectualism and faith and yadda yadda yadda...

...but it's a pretty big part of the fucking point of the book that the kids were smug Eton brats. Golding wrote the book as a satire of the entire genre of novels released at the time that depicted rich private school (I'm going to keep saying private school even though I know it's called a public school in the UK, but I'm American and likely most of the people following me are so it makes more sense) kids getting marooned on an island and, because of their innate pure British superiority, were able to recreate a complete functional society with modern technology equivalents (and sometimes even bring civilization to the "savages" who lived on the deserted island and have fun unpacking that sentence because it's above my pay grade). Golding's point was that these little shits would NEVER get themselves together and would descend into chaos and violence BECAUSE they're rich privileged little shits.

And because of that, I still to this day fucking HATE Lord of the Flies. Even though I wouldn't if either of the two Grade 11 English teachers I had knew what the fuck they were talking about.

PS. It's not just that "I was taught this wrong", it's that I so vehemently disagreed with the message presented by my teachers that I hated the book. I was taught that Romeo & Juliet was a sappy tragic love story when it's about a 20-year-old guy who just got dumped getting into a rebound relationship with a 13-year-old girl that results in the deaths of six people including both of them.

got thoughtful about opinions on bad books so here’s an inverse: what’s a book you had to read for school that you actually enjoyed/have grown to like? mine is Lord of the Flies