#it is infuriating. i am going to be seeing someone in jan about it but until then i suffer | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ikeromantic · 4 years ago

Text

A Very Strange New Year’s Eve

An Ikemen Vampire fanfic. Approx 6K words. This was supposed to go up for Jan 1, but I didn’t finish in time. I considered just not posting, but went ahead and finished it. So . . . 3 months past the holiday, but hey!

The mansion was bustling with activity on New Year’s Eve. It was tradition in this time for men to go from estate to estate, drinking and dancing, singing and carousing. Few ever made it out as far as le Comte’s country home, but Sebastian wasn’t about to let that excuse him from preparations. And you got recruited to help.

First there was the front courtyard, now a wonderland of ice sculptures and colored lanterns. Red ribbons graced the bare branches of trees, and winter flowering plants dotted the path to the door. The entry way was a ballroom, cleared of furniture and hung with garlands of ivy and mistletoe. Then there were the refreshment tables with carefully crafted centerpieces . . .

“Sebas. Comte says no one comes out this far. Can’t we just call this good enough,” you whine. “I’d really like to just enjoy the rest of the holiday.”

Sebastian moves faster than you’d expect, given he’s like you - just human. But there’s no way you could dodge the thump he lands in the center of your forehead.

“Ouch! Wh-what was that for?”

“You should start the new year as you plan to continue. Do you really want to spend it lazing around instead of getting things done?” Sebastian’s mild frown is almost worse than the sting on your forehead.

You sigh. “Fine. Yes. So what else do I need to do?”

Sebastian gestures with his chin toward the stairs. “Comte needs someone to bring him the case from the study. Why don’t you do that and see what else he needs, since you’ve no head for decorating.”

“Alright.” You hurry up the stairs.

Comte is already in the study, case in hand. He notices you come in and his lips curl up in a wistful smile. “Did Sebas chase you away from his masterpiece?”

“Yeah. I’m not . . . enthusiastic enough. Anyway, he said you needed some help up here?”

Comte nods, gesturing to some books. “You can carry those for me. Come along.”

The books are obviously old, the bindings a thick leather. Symbols are burned into them that you don’t recognize. “What are these for?”

“The turn of the new year provides a brief window for certain experiments. Those are notes and guides from other studies,” Comte explains.

“Like magic?” You eye the books suspiciously. “Is it something like the door?”

Comte chuckles. “Yes, I suppose you could say it’s something like the door. Manipulating time is a narrowly explored side of alchemy. Science, more than magic, ma cherie.” He stops at a door you hadn’t noticed before and unlocks it.

Inside there are a variety of strange looking devices. Twisted metal constructs, oddly shaped glass containers, shelves of bizarre looking ingredients and other things your eye can’t quite focus on. You step inside but Comte holds out a hand to stop you.

“That’s far enough. This room is not . . . safe . . . I’d appreciate it if you’d set the books down at the door.”

Your skin breaks out in little goosebumps as you step back out of the doorway. “Alright. Well, was there anything else you wanted me to do?”

Comte turns. “There is. Would you make sure everyone is out of the mansion before 9 this evening? Help them hurry along. I need peace and quiet if I’m to make progress. And I’d hate for any of you to be caught up in unexpected side effects of my experiments.”

“Side effects?” You stand a little straighter, suddenly nervous.

“I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about, but yes. Sometimes these tests produce unintended effects that spread beyond my laboratory.” He smiles as if this is unimportant. “So, can you make sure everyone is out by sunset?”

You nod. “Sure. Vincent is going out with Will to see some musical at the Moulin Rouge. Arthur, Dazai, and Theo are going to the Parade of Fools . . . I think Isaac and Napoleon are visiting an orphanage? And Jean is going to Notre Dame to pray. But I don’t think Leo or Sebas planned to go out anywhere.” And neither did I, you mentally add.

“Well, you must convince them. I am sure you’ll think of something.” He takes the books from you and closes the door. As soon as it shuts, you almost don’t notice it’s there again. Weird. But there’s no time to stand around and stare at a locked door. You’ve got a mission.

First you stop in to check on Arthur. Dazai and Theo are in the room with him, dressed in ridiculous colors and patterns. “Looks like a little bird stopped in to see what we’re up to,” Arthur grins at you from where he sits at the edge of his bed.

“Just making sure you’re on time. Can’t be late for the uh, the parade.” You realize you aren’t entirely sure what that is but parades usually start at a certain time so - it makes sense, right?

Dazai grabs your elbow, guiding you inside. “Yes, thank you Toshiko-san. Are you hoping to come with us?”

Theo scoffs, “No puppies allowed.”

Arthur stands and you realize his shirt is unbuttoned. His chest is more muscled than any writer ought to be. Your eyes can’t help but run from his sternum down to the buckle of his belt. “I don’t know, Theo. Could be fun to bring our skirt along.” He runs a finger along your jaw line, earning a frown from Dazai.

Theo shakes his head. “No. Look at her. Just touching her cheek turns the girl into a tomato. Can you imagine her face at the feast of fools? No.”

Dazai nudges Arthur back with his shoulder as he turns you to face the door. “Well, that is that Toshiko-san. It seems this is a boys only trip.”

“But - but I didn’t ask to go. I just, I need to make sure you leave before it gets dark.” You protest.

“Yeah, yeah. We got it hondje.” The door closes on Theo’s dismissal. You hear Arthur’s laughter as you head down the hall. Well.You delivered your message at least.

Next you decide to check on Vincent. He is painting with a look of intent focus. The canvas shows a field of flowers, their edges blending together in ways that make your head swim. You feel like you could drown in that picture but not tonight. Tonight, you have a job. “Vincent!”

He turns, his blue eyes wide with surprise. When he sees you, he smiles. “Oh! Did Will send you to get me? Is it already time to go?”

“No, er, yes,” you stumble over your answer. It’s hard to think straight with those big baby blues trained on you. “I mean, yes, you should get ready to go and no - I haven’t seen Will.”

Vincent looks a little confused, but turns to put down his paint and brush. “I guess you’re right. It will take me a bit to put the paints away and clean my brushes. I should start now. Would it be ok if I asked you to help?”

You are just about to say yes. After all, spending time around Vincent is always pleasant and it’s still basically what Comte asked you to do - but before your mouth opens, a pair of cool, smooth hands come around your waist and pull you tight against a narrow, wiry chest.

“And hast thy tongue given voice to words untrue? Or did thine eyes pass me over me as I stood on the stair awaiting your pleasant greetings?”

“Will!” You try to politely pull away from him, but he holds fast.

“Shall I take my revenge on you for such rude welcome? Or perchance, I only need keep you close to sooth the ache your averted gaze has given my heart.” Will set his head on your shoulder so that his lips brush your cheek.

“Will! Since you’re here, you can help me with the brushes,” Vincent exclaims. He takes hold of one of Shakespear’s hands, tugging the bard away from you.

Reluctantly, Will releases you. “Ah, friend Vincent. I could not deny you this. Besides, if I refuse, we would be late!”

Vincent chuckles. “Sorry. I got carried away with this painting. I appreciate the help. I’m sure we’ll be finished in plenty of time.”

You nod, backing toward the door. “Well, you two better hurry. Comte needs the mansion to himself tonight, so you need to get going.”

This seems to get Will’s interest, but he doesn’t get a chance to pry as Vincent hauls him off to clean brushes.

You escape the room to go check on your toughest target. Leonardo. The narcoleptic genius. The tobacco scented DILF. The most infuriating member of the mansion . . . da Vinci. You knock on his door, certain he’s there thanks to the present smell of fresh tobacco smoke and the warm light coming from under the door.

No response.

You knock again and call out. “Leo? Comte sent me!”

Nothing.

“I know you’re in there!” You try the knob and find the door unlocked. The room beyond is a disaster area. Bits of wire, gears, pretty rocks, books, and only Lumiere knows what else cover every surface except the bed.

Leonardo is lounging against a mound of pillows, his cat perched above his head, a book open on his chest. His bare chest. His wide, muscled, gorgeous . . .

You clear your throat.

He finally opens his eyes. “Ah, cara! Why are you in my room? Did you need something?” He doesn’t sit up or shift position. Or cover his distractingly visible self.

You clear your throat again and will the heat in your face away. “Uhm, ah, Comte wanted me to tell you - ah - he needs you to go someplace tonight.” You manage to get the message out by fixing your eyes on the mess and not the man.

“I didn’t plan to go anywhere,” Leo shrugs. He turns the page in his book. Lumiere cracks one golden eye open to watch you.

“Yeah, well. Comte needs you to go out. He’s doing an experiment.”

At this, Leonardo sits up a bit, disturbing the cat. Lumiere hops down in a huff and begins to pick his way through the unholy pile of crap on the floor. “An experiment? Well. Then I should go along, I suppose.” He grins at you and it’s one of those dangerous smiles of his. “Could you put this book up for me while I find my shirt?”

“Sure?” You carefully walk over and around the mess, wobbling with each uneasy step.

When you’re in arms’ reach, he grabs you by the waist and tugs you onto the bed. Onto his chest. His bare skin against the backs of your thighs. “Wh-what the hell, Leonardo?!” You sort of struggle to stand, instinct fighting pride.

“Oh, sorry cara mia. You looked like you might fall.” His dangerous grin was still firmly in place, his golden eyes laughing.

“If I was going to fall, it’s your fault. You need to clean this place up!”

“I would. I’m just so busy.” He tries to help you up, his hands touching you on your legs, your hip, your everywhere - completely unnecessarily - until you get back on your feet. “Maybe you can come help me, hm?”

You try to frown at him but your heart is racing and your cheeks are pink. The look has no impact except to make him smile wider. “Maybe. You can ask me tomorrow, but right now, can you find someplace else to be?”

“I think I’ll go watch the fireworks,” he sighs. “It would be even more beautiful with company . . .”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone to watch it with,” you snap back. Then you hurry out before he can reply. But you’re not fast enough. You never are.

“I already found you, cara . . .” His voice, like warm honey, follows you down the hall. It takes you a moment to shake it off. This is not the time to go all doe-eyed. Not when you’ve got Jean to deal with.

He isn’t in his room. Or the library. You find him in the studio, doing, of all things, aerobics. Of course, Jean d’Arc invented aerobics for soldiers so it shouldn’t surprise you but it does. Or maybe it’s just seeing him covered in sweat, his linen undershirt stuck to his skin. Thin silk leggings clinging indecently to . . .

“Mademoiselle?” His empty one-eyed gaze brings you back to the moment and your purpose here.

“Sorry to interrupt Jean. I was coming to check on you because -” you pause. Jean and Comte don’t get along well. If you tell him le Comte needs him gone, it might have the opposite effect. So instead, you say, “I was thinking of visiting Notre Dame with you. I wasn’t sure when you were leaving.”

He looks disturbed. “Right now. You won’t be able to accompany me.” He moves toward the door, all leonine grace.

“Don’t you need to clean up first?” He pauses, looks down at himself and frowns. “Yes . . .”

“Then we have plenty of time. I’ll meet you up front.”

“Mademoiselle -”

Unlike the golden-eyed flirt upstairs, it’s easy to escape Jean before he’s had his say. You feel bad for doing it, but you haven’t been to see the cathedral yet and this is as good an excuse as any.

The hour is growing late, and you know you don’t have much time. You head to Isaac’s room where thankfully, he and Napoleon are gathering the last of their supplies for this little mission. Food and warm coats for the children, nothing fancy but special enough to give the orphans a happy new year.

“Hello you two!” You stand in the doorway, grinning at the way Isaac hops up at your voice. And Napoleon’s warm, slow smile.

“If it isn’t my nunuche. Come to help us pack?”

Isaac shook his head. “We’re pretty much done. No help needed. You can go.”

“Oh? Well . . . I wasn’t really here to help out anyway. Sorry ‘Leon. I just wanted to see how soon you’d be leaving.”

“Do we need to rush?” Napoleon set a hand on one of the packages as if he might pick it up and go now.

“No, I don’t think so. But soon? Comte is doing some sort of experiment tonight. Wants the mansion to himself.”

“An experiment?” Isaac’s eyes light up with interest.

You can’t help but smile at how adorable he looks. “I don’t think it’s the kind of experiment you’d want to be involved in. Less physics, more hocus-pocus.”

“Hocus what?” Napoleon looks confused.

“Nevermind,” you shush him. “Are you about done?”

“Just a few more items to pack,” Isaac reassures you. “We’ll be out within the hour.”

“Perfect.” You smile at them. Isaac looks away, fiddling with his shirt. Napoleon grins back at you.

That smile reminds you of all the surprise kisses you’ve got, waking him up for breakfast. Incorrigible man. You turn to go, with one last target in mind. The hardest target, in fact.

“Oh Sebas?”

Sebastian turns from the table he’s decorating. You see a measuring tape in his hand which he quickly tucks into his pocket.

“Were you . . . checking the distance between that candle stick and the crystal dessert tray?” You can’t help the way your eyebrows go up or the rise in pitch.

Sebas coughs. “Of course not. I was . . . merely . . .” He stops. His eyes narrow. “Aren’t you supposed to be upstairs assisting le Comte?”

“I am! I was, I mean. He sent me down to tell you we need to get out of the mansion for the evening. He’s doing an experiment.” You aren’t going to let Sebastian intimidate you with his perfect butleriness. Not tonight!

“An experiment you say? Did he mention what?” He lowers his voice as if to add just to himself, “I haven’t seen him perform an experiment first hand yet. What a fascinating entry that would be . . .”

You clear your throat. “You know I can hear you, right? Besides. I don’t think le Comte wants any observers.”

Sebastian turns to look at the beautifully decorated parlor and entryway. It is breathtaking. The colors, the placement, the food . . . it’s a shame to waste it. “Surely we can stay long enough to see if some guests arrive,” he ventures.

“You could ask.”

“Or you could run along and ask for me. I have a few more things to finish here.” Sebas gestures to the absolutely perfect decor.

You frown. “It looks done to me. And it doesn’t matter anyway.”

The two of you argue good-naturedly back and forth until Arthur, Dazai, and Theo come traipsing down the stairs.

“Would you quit yapping, hondje? I can hear you all the way in my room. With the door shut!”

Arthur elbows him. “Come on chap, that’s an exaggeration. It was only with the door open.”

Dazai gives you a wink. “I think you are both teasing Toshiko-san. Her voice is too beautiful to complain of hearing. Like birdsong in the morning.”

“I’m not a fan of that myself,” Napoleon chimes in on his way down the stairs. He has a box almost as big as he is in his arms. Isaac is right behind him, carrying another man-sized container.

You aren’t sure if you should be insulted or flattered at this point, and in the end, it doesn’t matter. Because just as you’re about to speak up, Leonardo comes up behind Isaac a little too quickly, startling the physicist.

Isaac drops his box, which tumbles down to take out Napoleon. Napoleon’s box goes flying and in seconds, the whole entryway is covered in children’s clothes and shoes, and little baggies of candy.

Sebastian looks as if he might cry.

Napoleon starts to laugh, one of his hard, belly-shaking, can’t-stop fits.

Which of course, is when Jean arrives. He looks down from the top of the stair like a visitor in a madhouse, watching the patients with a look of chagrin.

“I suppose we need to help pick all this up before we go,” Theo grumbles.

Arthur gives a reluctant nod as Dazai bends to lift a tiny little dress that looks as if it was made to fit a toddler. “This is almost Toshiko’s size, isn’t it?”

You punch him lightly in the arm. “It might fit my foot . . . thanks.”

Vincent and Will are the next on scene, and while angelic Vincent immediately rushes to help, Shakespeare just looks sad that he missed the mayhem.

“Would that we were just a moment quicker. I could have caught the look of surprise on Isaac’s face and watched this riotous madness unfold.”

“Will,” you frown. “Can you just help pick stuff up? This is taking forever and le Comte said-”

The hall clock rings the hour. Nine. Precisely the time you were all supposed to be out of the mansion.

Surely, you think, surely le Comte would make certain he was alone before doing anything dangerous. Right?

A wave of heat rushes through the house as if something burst in its stone center. The air ripples and the walls bend and flex as if they were made of soft pudding. Colors flow and blend in bizarre combinations that end in black. Darkness and silence.

You realize you’re lying on the tile floor of the entryway. Your eyelids feel heavy and your head is pounding. You open them carefully, hoping the world is ok and you are ok, and all the residents of the mansion are fine too. Above you, the ribbons and lights Sebas strung up are still hanging. You turn your head. There’s the table, and the remains of the mess.

And sitting in the middle of a pile of clothes is a . . . a little boy. With blonde hair and big blue eyes. He looks at you and smiles like an angel.

“Umm, hi,” you say and give him a wave.

“Hi.” He imitates your gesture.

Where did the kid come from? And where are the vampires? You sit up and look around. And there’s another kid! This one looks a little older. Dark black hair, eyes like big round jade beads. He’s naked, sleeping with his little butt in the air, legs curled under him, head on another pile of clothes.

You scramble to your feet, beginning to panic. There are other children in the room. A little boy with strawberry brown hair and cherry-blossom eyes is constructing a tower from silverware, assisted by another boy with dark grey hair and amber eyes.

A little boy on the steps is trying desperately to tie Jean’s eye patch to his head and hold a bit of shirt to his chest, only he can’t because two hands isn’t enough.

You slap yourself to wake up.

A tiny little hand tugs at your skirt. “No. No owies.”

You look down to see another blue-eyed tot, this one with chestnut hair. He is staring up at you in disapproval and the expression looks damn familiar. “Theo?”

He grunts, which is probably a yes. “Pancakes. Want pancakes.” He tugs your skirt in the direction of the kitchen.

Definitely Theodorus. You crouch to look him in the eye. “Huh. Pancakes? Alright. If I’m stuck in a dream about kiddie vampires, I might as well make them pancakes.”

Your words draw the attention of most of the boys. They crowd around you, herding you toward the kitchen. All except Mozart who is on the table, tapping champagne glasses with a spoon. He glances at you in annoyance before resuming his table-symphony.

“Wait, wait, wait,” you tell them. “I’ll make pancakes, but first you’ve got to get dressed.” You point at the clothes on the floor. You notice one messy-haired boy picking his nose. “And wash your hands.”

“Are they . . . are they all children,” asks a confused voice from behind you. Sebastian stands up from where he fell, his eyes as wide as saucers.

“No. I’m just having a very weird dream,” you inform him.

Sebastian pinches you. It hurts. “No. If this was a dream, that should have ended it,” he says after a moment.

“You could have pinched yourself,” you mutter.

“Not if it’s your dream.” He glances around, counting the little boys that are scrambling into their clothes. “Seems all of them are accounted for except le Comte. Have you seen him since you got up?”

“I just woke up a few minutes ago. I’ve only seen these,” you gesture to the group, then reach out to snag Dazai before he empties a pitcher of champagne over the sleeping Napoleon.

The little dark haired trickster wriggles out of your grip and runs off laughing. You’re pretty sure you need to keep a close eye on that one.

“Then I will go upstairs and check on him. You take this lot to the dining room. I think some food will settle them down.” He watches as Jean, dressed now in an adorable red and white frock, chases after Will with a fork. “It seems they have no memory of themselves.”

“I don’t know about that. Theo has his usual frown. And he asked for pancakes.”

Sebastian nods. “Probably elements of his personality that existed when he was a child. Just a guess. Hopefully le Comte will know more.”

“Hopefully he can reverse this,” you reply. The idea of spending your life with immortal children is terrifying. At least, you think, they are out of diapers.

As Sebas bounds up the stairs, you herd the (now dressed) munchkins into the dining room. They tumble forward, all little knees, elbows and fists, knocking over vases and coat hangers and a chair on the way.

Little Arthur stumbles onto the carpet and his eyes begin to tear up. Vincent kneels down beside him to check the ouchie while Theo pats him gently on the head as you would to calm a dog.

You bend down to see if the tyke is ok. His leg is a little red where he bumped it, but probably fine. “Do you want some ice?”

Arthur shakes his head. “No. No. Pick me up. Pwease?” His eyes get big as he pleads with you.

Unable to say no, you lift him into your arms. He’s a little heavy, but not more than a sack of flour anyway. “Is that better?”

“Mhmm.” Arthur gives you an endearing smile. He lays his head on your chest and sighs happily.

“Ok, but I’m going to have to put you down to make pancakes. Alright?”

Arthur doesn’t respond, but he also doesn’t complain when you settle him in a chair. You realize then that this is not going to work. These seats are for grown adults, not little kids.

Before you can think of how to solve it, little Leonardo does it for you. “I have a big books,” he announces. And grabs Jean and Napoleon by the hand. “Get a books.”

The three of them tromp merrily away, with you not sure if you ought to go with them or keep track of the rest of the kids.

“Hondje,” Theo giggled from behind you. “Hooooondje! Pancakes!”

You glare down at the little tyke. “I am not a puppy!”

Your fierce tone puts tears in his eyes and in a heartbeat, Vincent is there, hugging his brother. They are so adorable that you forget to be annoyed. “Alright, sorry for yelling at you, cutie,” you tell Theo. You ruffle his hair. “Let’s go make some pancakes.”

You snag Dazai off the windowsill before he can pull it open. “You too, you little prankster.” He giggles adorably and seems perfectly happy to watch the world from your hip.

Mozart follows along behind you, still looking annoyed that he had to leave his ‘instrument’ behind.

Isaac and Arthur stay at the table, where you can just see the tops of their little heads. You’d worry about leaving normal kids alone, even for the time it takes to cook some pancakes, but these are vampires-turned-kids. They’ll probably be fine. The dining room might not be, but that’s le Comte’s problem.

But . . . where was Will? You realize you haven’t seen him since you picked Arthur up. And if any one of these little devils is a danger on his own . . .

You carefully set Dazai down and pull the pancake batter ingredients out. You put them in one big bowl and hand Dazai, Mozart, Theo, and Vincent their own spoons. “Alright my big-littles, if we’re going to eat pancakes tonight, you have to stir.”

Vincent’s happy little face takes on a serious look as he plunges his spoon into the mix and begins to stir. Theo watches him for a moment before trying out his own batter-making skills.

Mozart looks at the spoon and then at the batter. “No. Dirty.” He throws the spoon across the kitchen and crosses his arms.

“Wolfie, come on. It’s not dirty. You don’t need to touch it with your hands.”

He turns his head and refuses to look at you.

“Oh come on,” you sigh. “Fine. You can . . . supervise.” Which is a fantastic idea right up until Dazai tosses a handful of flour at Mozart.

Mozart flings himself at Dazai and they begin to chase each other around the kitchen, Dazai laughing and Mozart snarling like an angry cat.

“Good enough. You guys keep up the good work. I’ll be right back.” And off you go in search of Shakespeare. He isn’t in the dining room. Or in the entryway. But you notice a slight hazy smoke coming from the parlor.

You poke your head into the room and damned if that’s not exactly where he is, trying to catch one of the heavy curtains on fire with a candle. “WILL!” You dash across the room and pull him, and the candle, away from the smoking curtain.

“William Shakespeare, what do you think you’re doing?!” Your tone is scarily reminiscent of your own mother and it makes you wince a little. But that doesn’t seem to have any effect on the tiny bard.

He grins up at you, his eyes sparkling. “Twagedy.”

You can’t help but notice he’s missing both his front teeth. Kinda like a reverse bunny. “Tragedy, huh? If I catch you trying to burn down the mansion again, I’ll show you a real tragedy mister.”

Rather than looking threatened, he seems excited by this. He nods his head. “Ok. Ok!”

“Ah. No. I mean, I’ll show you a real tragedy only if you’re a good boy and you don’t try to burn down the mansion. Alright?”

Will scrunches his face up, as if thinking hard about this. Then he nods again. “Weal twagedy! Ok!”

You sigh and carry him to the dining room. Where Isaac is pulling apart a house plant and making little noises to himself. Arthur is nowhere to be seen, but judging by the sounds coming from the kitchen, you’re pretty sure where he went.

You set Will down and throw open the door. Just in time to see Dazai and Arthur toss a canister of flour over Mozart. At least Theo and Vincent are being good, you think.

Mozart, dusted white from head to toe, looks about two seconds from going full cage-fighter on the other two boys. You scoop him up and set him in the big sink. “Nope, no fighting Wolfie. We’ll just clean you up.”

You turn to look at Dazai and Arthur. “That was really mean, you two. Now he’s got to change clothes. You go get him something to wear. Now. Something clean!” You aren’t completely sure they understand, but they both walk in the direction you point. Hopefully they grab Mozart some clean clothes from the pile. Or at least, don’t find more trouble while you give him a mini-bath.

Just as you turn on the water, you hear Theo behind you. “Pancakes.” You turn and he’s staring at you, arms crossed.

Vincent looks at you with huge, blue eyes. You swear they get bigger as they fix on you. “Pancakes?” He looks like he might cry.

“Yes, yes. I know. Pancakes.” You sigh. Mozart has stripped off his clothes and is trying to wash himself under the faucet. You put the plug in and add some soap for bubbles. Then step over to the stove to heat a griddle. Talk about multitasking!

Will is watching all of this with keen interest. Hopefully it’s enough ‘twagedy’ to keep him occupied.

Mozart manages not to drown himself in the sink while you cook, and wonder of wonders, Arthur and Dazai bring back clean clothes. The bright, chaotic colors and the tulle tutu are nothing Wolfie would normally wear, but hell, at least it’s clothing.

You set a dripping Mozart on the floor with a towel and finish cooking. With the last pancake on the griddle, you decide to check the dining room - there’s a lot of noise coming from in there. When you poke your head out, you see Leonardo directing Jean and Napoleon in book placement.

“A books!” He tells you proudly.

Mozart in his plaid yellow jacket and pink tutu comes toddling out to see what’s going on.

Leonardo covers his mouth at the sight and Jean just stares blankly. But Napoleon collapses in a fit of giggles.

Mozart huffs and crosses his arms.

You pat his fluffy white hair. You mean to comfort him, but it’s so soft you can’t help petting him more. Wolfie glares up at you but he doesn’t try to get away, so you figure he probably doesn’t hate it.

“Thank you Leo. And ‘Leon. You too Jean. You are very good boys.”

Leonardo gives you a wide, lazy smile that you swear is just like the one he wears when you catch him napping in weird places.

Napoleon gets ahold of himself enough to give you a little bow. On his pudgy toddler self, it looks ridiculous but also endearing.

You get the boys into their chairs, where thanks to the books, they can reach the table. Then you serve up the pancakes. This is about the point Sebas comes back, carrying a little blonde kid. One with astoundingly perceptive golden eyes.

“I see you found le Comte,” you sigh. If he’s a child too, what are the odds he can reverse this side effect of his little experiment?

Sebastian looks over the table of seated munching munchkins. “Good work with the boys. And yes, he was wandering the hall outside his laboratory.”

Le Comte turns to look up at him. “I was not wandering. I was walking to my study to fetch another set of research notes.” His voice is high and sweet, even though the words are quite adult.

“Does he remember everything then? He doesn’t sound like the others,” you ask Sebas.

“He seems to,” Sebastian confirms.

“He is right here,” le Comte interrupts. “And perfectly capable of answering questions himself. Myself. So yes - I remember everything. I know who and where I am, and what happened.”

It is so weird to hear those words from that cherubic little face. You reach over to pinch his little cheek.

“Ma cherie . . . please . . .”

“Sorry. You’re just so cute like this.” You grin at him. How often do you get to see le Comte out of sorts after all?

Sebastian clears his throat to get your attention. “He says there isn’t a way to reverse this, but that it should wear off.”

“When?”

“Based on my calculations, the effect is bound within the rule of threes. So if I extrapolate from the formula what the far edge of the continuum disturbance might be, I’m left with three options. It could evaporate within 9 hours, 9 days, or 9 months.”

While you aren’t sure what most of that means, you get the time frames. “So, wait. This could be over by morning or I could be stuck babysitting for NINE MONTHS?”

Sebastian grins at you and you swear he is enjoying this. But then, he’s not the one that spent the last two hours wrangling the little monsters. He looks over the table where the tiny-tot-vamps are fist to facing pancakes, well except for Mozart who is using his fork. “I don’t know why you’re complaining. You seem to have a talent for this.”

“Fine,” you grin. “I fed ‘em dinner, you get them ready for bed.” See how he likes chasing down the terror-tots for bath time, teeth-brushing, and pajamas!

Sebastian nods. You can tell by the glint in his eyes that he knows exactly what you’re trying to do. But he’s the world’s best butler and if he can handle this herd as adults, he’s sure he can handle them as children.

He claps his hands together to get their attention. Eleven little faces turn to look at him in unison. “It’s time to get ready for bed.” A chorus of whining little voices insist that in fact, they don’t need to sleep anytime soon, but Sebas is having none of it.

With another clap, he rounds the little vamps up and herds them out of the dining room, trailed by le Comte who looks like he wouldn’t mind going to bed right now at all.

You spend the next hour cleaning the kitchen and dining area. How such little people can make such big messes is beyond you, but this job is still easier than rounding them up for bathtime. You tiredly make your way out into the hall, only to see Sebas dragging himself out of the baths.

His hair is mussed. His clothes are soaked. He has bubbles coming out of his ears.

You try to hide a grin but can’t.

“Help me,” he mouths silently as a mob of partially dressed boys appears behind him.

Though it’s tempting to just walk on up to your room, you can’t leave a soul in need like that. Besides, Sebastian would definitely get revenge later. So you stop and smile at him sweetly, reaching out to snag Will as he tries to dart past you.

“If you boys will put on your pajamas properly, I’ll read you a bedtime story,” you offer.

“Twagedy?” Asks Will, tugging his arm out of your grip.

“Sure, hon. I’ll make it the saddest story ever read for toddlers.”

He beams up at you with genuine pleasure in his mismatched eyes.

Sebastian nearly cries with relief. He helps the boys finish tugging on their nightshirts and helps you gather them in the study.

The little vampires pile onto the couch like puppies, except for Leonardo. He slumps onto the floor and begins to nod off while the others are still getting comfy.

You look over the book selection. There’s not much here for kids. Sure, a treatise on combustion engines would probably put them to sleep - well, maybe not Isaac - but everyone else, yes. But it’s not very . . . kid friendly. Or, uh, tragic. Then your eyes light on an illustrated copy of The Ugly Duckling. Perfect.

You sit down on the couch in the midst of the boys. Theo snuggles to your left, and Arthur snuggles to your right. Dazai and Vincent sit on your lap, and you’ve got Mozart lounging on the back of the couch, peering over one shoulder, while Will does the same on your other side. Le Comte curls up on a pillow at the far end, next to Jean. Isaac claims his own spot on the opposite end. Napoleon sits across from you on Sebastian’s lap.

With all the boys accounted for, you begin to read them the tale of the ugly duckling. It doesn’t seem like the kind of story to put a crowd of little boys to sleep, but before you reach the last page, every single one of them is out like a light. Soft, even breathing and little snores fill the room.

You look across to see if you can get Sebastian to help you carry the tykes to their room, but he’s fallen asleep too. As you look down at their sweet, sleeping faces, you think, it’d be a shame to wake them. So you get as comfortable as you can on the couch and in no time, you’re dozing off.

Dreams of baby vampires run through your mind. In one, you try to explain to your mother that none of these babies are actually yours, but she won’t believe you. In another, you push a giant stroller through Paris and lecture the tots on the architecture. It’s almost a relief when a surprised shout stirs you awake.

An adult Napoleon is mid-kiss with poor Sebas, who certainly didn’t mean to wake him. Leonardo laughs from his spot on the floor. A grown up, full bellied laugh. That’s about the point you realize Arthur and Theo are also back to their adult selves, their heads still pillowed on your lap. Dazai and Vincent are snuggled to your chest, looking quite pleased. You jump to your feet, nearly knocking them to the floor.

Mozart loses his balance and falls off the back of the couch, and Jean leaps away from le Comte as if burned. Dazai is chuckling and muttering something about one hell of a good joke, while Isaac looks deeply disturbed.

“What happened,” Will asks, sounding dazed.

“It’s better not to ask,” you reply and head to your room to sleep off this weirdest of new year’s eves.

#Ikemen Vampire #IkeVamp #new years 2021 #better late than never #fanfic #fanfiction #otome #otome boys #fluff #silliness

52 notes · View notes

allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 4 years ago

Text

Wonder Woman 1984

The first 3/4 of 2017’s Wonder Woman was my favorite film of that year. The last 1/4 was my least favorite film of that year. What can I say, I have a complicated relationship with the DCEU, and the part I keep getting disappointed by is the big smash-em-up, explosions everywhere, muddy mess of orange/blue filter in the “climactic showdown” between hero and villain. I just don’t have the patience for it anymore, and I was so hoping that the Jazzercise vibes of Wonder Woman 1984 would do something different.

As it turns out, this movie was trying to warn me like so many stories that have come before - be careful what you wish for. Just how badly did my wish go bad? Well...

I’d already heard some questionable things about the movie before I tuned in, so my expectations were tempered but I guess it was on me. I should have known better than to wish for a story with reasonable pacing, some kind of consistent tone, villains with discernable motivation, or a Wonder Woman movie that was actually about fucking Wonder Woman. I’m not even mad as much as I am puzzled. That and tormented by Pedro Pascal’s manic televangelist energy in my dreams.

Some thoughts:

I have never wanted to go anywhere as much as I want to in 2020, and the place I want to go more than any other is Themyscira. Love this first sequence. Why is the whole movie not about Themyscira??

If the Olympics were like this whole long Amazonian warrior triathlon, I would be WAY more into track and field.

Also I legit don’t understand the problem with her taking the short path? Like, it’s there for a reason? She just caught up to her horse? Someone explain this to me.

So this mall...basically the hub of American commerce in the 80s that was practically printing money, it made it so fast...is secretly a front for antiquities trading on the black market? And these unorganized-ass dipshit criminals who seemingly just walked in off the street and decided to engage in some light robbery today are after antiquities? Sure, Jan.

Ohh I miss Waldenbooks so much!

This thwarting of crime sequence in the mall feels so...cheesy. Schlocky, almost. Like a 50s comic book come to life. I dunno, it just doesn’t feel like the tone I was expecting. In the context of the whole film, we really blew our action load in these first 2 sequences, and also this is the last point in the movie in which Diana actually resembles her character from the first film.

I would also be stammery and blushy when talking to Diana Prince for the first (and second) time, but I’m kinda getting a gay vibe from Barbara. This meet-cute + date is definitely playing up romantic vibes. Kristen Wiig is so good at characters like these - in less than 2 scenes, I have such a clear picture of who Barbara is, what she wants, what she fears, and that’s all down to Wiig’s choices. [ETA: This makes it all the more infuriating when Barbara suddenly is like “I want to be an apex predator” when nothing about her character’s reaction to getting positive attention indicates she would want to start shitting all over everyone else.]

Pedro Pascal is skeeving me out as our villain Max Lord, which really just shows his range, because normally I love him and find him wildly charming in everything. But he’s playing this oil baron creep to the max, as they would say in the parlance of the 80s, and it makes my skin crawl.

The mechanics of how Steve Trevor returns are wildly confusing. Why is this other guy involved at all? Are we supposed to be ok with the idea of Diana fucking *some other dude’s body* without his consent just because Steve’s spirit/consciousness/whatever is inside the guy? Also that guy DEFINITELY got fired from his job after going AWOL for a whole week, right?

I am thrilled with Steve’s clothes montage. One of my favorite things in any 80s film, and his enthusiasm really sells it.

I do really like Diana and Steve playing detective, following clues, crafting theories. In spite of the absolute dumbassery of how Steve came back, Chris Pine and Gal Gadot have incredible chemistry and I do find their scenes together delightful.

I think that’s why it’s so frustrating to me the way their entire relationship was handled. If the whole point of the wish going bad is that it has a cost, wouldn’t it have been better, instead of making Diana weak, to have Steve slowly start to be more and more of an asshole - aka not the Steve Diana remembered and loved? Make her realize that the Steve she knew and loved is really gone and she has to stop letting his memory hold her hostage. Maybe his last moment of self-awareness would be realizing that this wasn’t who he really was, and she was better off just remembering who he was and moving on rather than trying to hold on to this thing that isn’t good for her?

The sequence with the fireworks made me emotional. The only time I’ve ever been on a plane on the 4th of July was when I was coming back from a visit with my uncle in Dallas. He had flown me, my mom, and my grandma down for a whirlwind trip, and we flew back the night of the 4th. I got to see fireworks from above for the first time, and it felt so magical. My uncle passed away 2 months ago, and feeling that magic again (via Diana and Steve) made me miss him and all the adventure he brought into my life something fierce.

Am I supposed to be like...anti- the idea of Barbara absolutely kicking the shit out of this drunk catcaller who attempted to assault her earlier in the movie? It feels like the film wants us to be like “oh no that’s bad” but my empathy goes on vacation for attempted rapists.

Like...did anyone do ANY kind of fact-checking on this script? The Maya haven’t been “wiped from the face of the earth” there are still 6 million of them living in Central and South America. Escalators were invented in the 1890s for fucks’ sake. PLANES IN THE 80S DONT WORK LIKE PLANES IN 1918. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ALL THOSE SWITCHES DO STEVE. Also...just because the plane is invisible doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist anymore. Isn’t the whole point of radar to detect things that you can’t, y’know, SEE? Seriously, how many people fiddled with this script until it turned into an incomprehensible mess?

Did I Cry? OK yeah, I did when Diana and Steve had their conversation after they escaped the White House. But I feel like I should have cried more then, as well as earlier when Diana tells Steve that she only wants this one thing. I love Gal Gadot in this role, but I do wish her acting expressed a little more emotional depth and honesty for the moments like this that should really tug on the heartstrings.

I know Wonder Woman is bulletproof, but are we saying she’s also...immune to electricity?

If there’s one thing that living through a global pandemic has taught me, it’s that we can’t rely on the inherent responsibility of every individual person to do the right thing in order to save their community (or the world). So the climax of this film really feels like a big ol’ fictional FUCK YOU to every person who has been quarantining since March as the US government twiddles their thumbs and relies on personal choice to lower infection rates. I know they made this film during 2019 and had no idea what would be coming, but this entire sequence was the most horrifying, short-sighted, offensive way to have good overcome evil I could imagine for a 2020 movie. “Just count on people to do the right thing and everything will be fine!” We’re WELL FUCKING PAST THAT, Diana.

And maybe this is my debbie downer pessimistic ass, but the message “the world is a beautiful place the way it was” feels like some real bullshit. Do you mean the world is a flawed, complicated place where beautiful things exist DESPITE all the violence, inequality, and poverty? Ok, that I’ll buy, for sure. But “Everything was fine the way it was!” is uhh not what I would have gone with. That’s a first draft edit if ever I heard one. Seriously, how did this make it through MULTIPLE studio drafts and no one thought to point this out?

I literally had to go back after the credits were over and rewind to figure out what happened to Pedro Pascal at the end. If I not only don’t care, but also can’t remember what happened to the villain at the end of the movie, that’s a big motherfucking problem.

I was giddily delighted by that first post-credits scene though! Probably the biggest moment of joy I felt during the film.

For being a Wonder Woman movie, it feels like there’s so little actual Wonder Woman IN the movie. The first film is rooted firmly in Diana finding her place in the world, understanding and coming into her power. This feels like she’s a bystander in her own life, and her most significant moments are always in the context of someone else’s narrative arc. And there’s nothing that comes even close to the breathless wonder of that No-Man’s-Land scene, aka one of the best superhero movie moments of all time.

This doesn’t have the knowing wink of Aquaman or the nuanced character arcs of Birds of Prey. It doesn’t have the childish glee of Shazam! or any of the nonsensical grimdark bullshit of Zack Snyder’s entire ouvre. It feels like Wonder Woman 1984 suffers the same fate as its protagonist - a profound lack of presence or drive. Sure there are some fun sequences, and the actors are doing the best they can with a weak script, but it’s just not enough to save it. In a year where I saw so few contemporary films (focusing more on catching up on past films I’d missed), I can’t think of one that disappointed me more.

#121in2021 #wonder woman 1984 #ww84 #gal gadot #chris pine #pedro pascal #kristen wiig #patty jenkins #wonder woman #diana prince #steve trevor

27 notes · View notes

bbq-hawks-wings · 4 years ago

Note

Who are your fave characters in bnha (aside from hawks) and your least liked. In a "i dont like this one as a character or/and as a person" kind of way or even they're just meh to you.

This is a good and surprisingly complicated question! I'll try to give at least three from each category with my reasoning as I like most of the characters for one reason or other but marking down favorites and least favorites is not as straightforward as I first thought.

I love that most of Horikoshi's characters are either loveable, likeable, enjoyable to hate, or leave a benevolently indifferent impression. There's not really many characters that get on my nerves for just existing.

Except Mineta. He can die in a ditch. But that's too easy for our purposes he doesn't count. This time...

Mina is a character I just really am drawn to every time she shows up. She's described as a people person, and as a cautious introvert who often feels the need to put on appearances to make friends in a "you do not have a high enough friendship level to unlock my tragic backstory" kind of way, I feel like if she were a person I could just relax and enjoy myself around her. She isn't dismissive of people's real fears or insecurities and prefers to let herself be the best she is right now in all of her dumbass glory. I really, really love her even if I don't give her a lot of love often.

Iida is another character I gravitate towards despite not showcasing him often. I'm just always happy to see him and his dorky, admirable self. It's like you could look up "square" in the dictionary and his picture would apply to basically all possible definitions, but it's a good thing. He's conscious and proactive even if he seems overbearing, and it's just his way of protecting his family and friends' security and happiness. It makes me feel like I would be safe and cared for in his presence, you know? Bonus points for his wholesome adoration of his big brother (who is also a majorly underappreciated background character, imo), and I can't help but headcanon him as autistic. I literally can't not see it every time he shows up at this point.

Gotta give the last spot to Fatgum. Another detail about Horikoshi's character writing I adore is that the "obvious" thing about a character usually does not end up taking up the bulk of their characterization or is usually never focused on for too long. They have lives and identities outside of one or two traits. Being huge and fat like Fatgum in a Japanese society that usually runs smaller and thinner than the rest of the world (and that is never canonically shied away from) would usually be focus of his entire character in most other series. Here, it's just a blip on his entire sheet - an important one to be sure, but it's just been embraced as a part of who he is from so far back it's beyond old news for him. Confidence, focus, determination, and enabling others' personal growth is where it's at as far as he's concerned, and I am here for it! He's just so set and comfortable in his skin that he's got more than enough to give others a boost if he can offer it.

Horikoshi has a lot of empathetic characters that feel more like people than tropes (especially in the world of anime overrun with cookie cutter personalities to fill flashy but otherwise empty character designs), so there aren't many characters I just genuinely don't like or care for. That said, there has been a pattern I've been noticing, and wouldn't you know it happens to correlate with traits I don't like in real people, either.

I cannot stand people who can never admit they can be wrong. I mean those people that might say how everyone in their family or all their last group of friends hate them/left them or how their ex was crazy and when you ask if maybe they had any idea why they go, "OMG, I don't know! 😭😭😭 I just can't seem to find anyone who will love me for who I am, warts and all. 😇😇😇"

Sure, Jan.

So about the villains! To be fair, not even close to all the villains fit this bill. Most of them I either unironically love (like Rappa and Gentle Criminal) or love to hate (Dabi and Shigaraki). It just so happens that no "hero" character happens to grate or push my buttons in a way that leaves me either negatively ambivalent towards them or outright hating them. (Save one...)

Toga. Get your pitchforks, folks! BBQ is on the menu! I actually don't hate her or even dislike her. She's just not a character I can have sympathy for for very long. In a situation I couldn't just walk away from and hope to never see her again, she'd get some stern words a la Ochako a long time ago. Especially at her age I get where she's coming from and how she feels, but while asking people to just conform without question under threat of punishment is not inherently good, it's not unreasonable in her case and it's troubling she seemed to one day snap and decide she was being unduly repressed and killed someone when she looked like she otherwise had a normal life. I completely give her some grace for clearly having an "pretend it isn't there and it'll go away" kind of help, but she's capable (at least now) of realizing why people are repulsed by her behavior and that it's not unfounded. She needs much better help than what she got and certainly more than what the League offers.

I have similar problems with Spinner. He has a reasonable-enough justification for wanting to lash out at broader society, but he largely refused to help himself before the League of Villains and he'll always be working with a handicap in my book thanks to that. If he was living with parents and couldn't escape to a larger city with more inclusive attitudes towards heteromorphs I could understand, but it looked like he lived alone and either managed to finance his lifestyle or supplemented with government aid anyway, so points lost there as well. He relies on others to give him meaning, first Stain and then Shigaraki; and even then only acts on it because they give him permission to act out his aggressions in an environment that doesn't hold him accountable for it or ask him to do something constructive to change it. That came out harsher than I intended, but I really am not able to give him much room either way in this case.

Monoma. Ah, yes. The Exception™. Sorry, buddy. It's not like I don't get it. You've got a lot more in common with Bakugo than you probably like, but your brand of inferiority complex is just... Unhinged? Grossly inappropriate and misplaced? My dude, you gotta stop trying to knock others down to make yourself feel better by comparison, you can and will destroy your life doing that. I get that having a quirk that requires you to play second-fiddle is infuriating, but that's where you really need to leverage your individuality and be certain what defines your character in a vacuum. At that point you can find a way to leverage other's quirks in ways even they can't because of the sole fact that they aren't you. I know easier said than done, but I am rooting for you, buddy!

That was fun! Thanks for the ask! It's interesting to break down my gut feelings about the characters like this. I enjoyed it a lot!

#she speaks

11 notes · View notes

trialround · 5 years ago

Text

[Here’s the beginning]

Philipp Aschenwald/Gregor Schlierenzauer

Zakopane 2020

Everything is fine.

Fine.

I hate that word.

We had the conversation two days ago when we arrived, and maybe it should have been awkward and weird, but it kind of felt like any other conversation we have.

“So.”

“So?”

“So we’re just not going to talk about the kissing?”

“That’s right.”

“Seriously?”

“Shut up.”

And that was it. Short and simple, with Gregor being snappy towards me like he usually is. Gregor went to take the shower after, and I stared at the door for five minutes before I stood up and left the room. I spent the evening with Daniel and Jan and it was fine.

Everything was fine. Yes, the kissing had been great the other week, and yes, maybe I had had dreams of us continuing the kissing in the future, but I knew those were only dreams and the reality was, it probably had been just a game for Gregor. It was fine. Maybe even good that it had turned out that way, because I knew myself, and I knew that kissing, however great, wouldn’t be enough for me. Still it had felt nice to have someone so close to you, if even for a little while. To share that moment of intimacy with someone else. With Gregor.

But I was fine with how things had turned out. Everything was fine.

Everything is fine.

Fine.

I hate that word.

Everything is not fine. Everything is fine with Gregor ignoring me. I was expecting that. I wished it wouldn’t go that way, but it was Gregor and I expected nothing from the older man.

But this. This was not fine. I was innocent. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I had passed by the stupid can on the counter. I had maybe brushed it, the tiniest bit, and of course the can had taken the opportunity and jumped to the floor.

I almost had a heart attack for those two seconds when I watched the can fall, because it would’ve been just my luck to see the can of energy drink explode over all of Gregor’s clothes. But it hadn’t. It had stayed intact, and I did a little victory dance before picking the can up.

That’s when everything went to hell.

The fucking can of Red Bull exploded in my hand, soaked my t-shirt and the floor.

I panic.

Then stop panicking. Because it’s fine. Fine, like everything else in my life.

I curse out loud, take my soggy t-shirt off and use it to wipe the floor. The floor is sticky and it smells – I smell – but otherwise I am able to clean of the mess. I’m still crawling on the floor, making sure I have cleaned off every drop, and that is of course when Gregor walks in.

It’s fine.

Just a man of my dreams staring at me while I crawl shirtless on the floor looking like a mess. Do I always have to be crawling in his presence? Can’t I act like a normal person for once?

Fine.

I probably shouldn’t open my mouth. Opening my mouth usually makes everything worse. But I need to defende myself. So –

“It wasn’t me! I didn’t do anything! It just exploded.”

Gregor looks at me up and down, and I know he doesn’t believe me. I get up from the floor, remind myself of all the dignity I have, and meet Gregor’s eyes. Gregor cocks his head to the side.

“Right.”

“I cleaned it up already. Nothing got near your stuff, don’t worry.”

Gregor sniffs the air. The room reeks of energy drink. Or maybe it’s mostly me. Gregor grimaces, while I try to sneak a peek around the room to make sure Gregor’s camera is far away from the war zone. He’d never speak with me again if I ruined his precious Leica. Thankfully, it lies on his side of the bed, safe from any potential splashes of energy drink.

“Take a shower. You stink.”

“Right. Yes. I’m on it.” I escape to the bathroom with my ruined t-shirt.

Gregor is sitting on the bed, when I come back from the shower with a towel around my waist. He is fiddling with his phone and doesn’t look at me when I dig clean boxers out of my suitcase. That means he’s not mad. Which is great.

Although maybe it would be better if he was mad, because at least then he would look at me, and I’d know for sure that I exist in his world.

Gosh, I’m pathetic.

I crawl to my side of the bed, careful not to cross the line between our sides. I take my own phone and start to scroll the Instagram feed, hoping that the pretty pictures would be enough to get my mind off of everything that happened.

The silence around us is nothing new. We usually go the whole evening without saying anything to each other. That’s how Gregor likes it. This time though, this time the silence lasts only a couple of minutes.

Gregor sniffs twice, turns to me and sniffs again.

“You still stink.”

“I just took a shower,” I huff.

“Did you wash your hair?”

“It got to my hair?” I turn to him, and try to lift my hand to feel if my hair is sticky from the energy drink, but he beats me to it. He lifts his hand, fingers brushing my hair as he leans closer. He’s looking at me, maybe searching my face for something, some sign that his touch wouldn’t be welcome. He finds no such sign.

I blink as he leans over the invisible line between our sides of the bed. I blink as his hand drops from my hair to my neck. I blink as he pulls me closer.

And then we are kissing and I don’t blink anymore, because I have closed my eyes and I’m breathing him in as he is kissing my bottom lip, then licking his way into my mouth, and yes, he was right.

I do still stink. I can smell a faint whiff of Red Bull in the air, and the smell keeps me from forgetting the world around us, and I pull back, and Gregor makes a noise, which almost sounds like a whine.

“We are kissing.” Well, good job, genius. Very attentive.

“We are”, he smiles at me, and I’m blinking again. “You have a problem with that?”

“No.” No, not when he looks at me like that, with that soft smile on his face, the smile I’ve seen only once before, the last time we kissed a week ago.

“Good,” he smiles as he leans closer, and for another moment I’m lost on his lips. It’s definitely not a game for him this time, I think randomly, as he smiles against my lips.

Except.

Except maybe it is. Maybe he’s bored and figured kissing me would be a great way to spend an evening. Which it is, but I don’t want to be just a pastime for him – not for anyone.

“Yes,” I breathe against his lips, and for a second he thinks I’m encouraging him on, because he moves closer, pushes me against my pillow as he pulls our bodies flush together, and it’s like a dream come true, except it isn’t, because I dream of so much more than just a meaningless kiss. It would be so easy to let go and just go with him wherever he wants to take me, but – “Yes, I have a problem with that.”

The effect of my words is instant. He pulls back, back to his side of the bed, the smile fading from his face, and I realize the difference my words made. It’s a mask he keeps on his face, a mask he only ever drops when we are kissing: the mask of indifference.

“Okay.” It’s the only thing he says, grabbing his phone and starting to scroll again. It’s like the past two minutes never happened.

“It’s just that,” I feel like I need to explain myself although I’m not sure if he wants to hear my words. “It’s just that last time you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s right. Still don’t.”

“Right, yes. And see, I kind of do want to talk about it,” I continue.

“Clearly,” Gregor says, and although his voice is neutral, there’s a tiny smile tugging on the corner of his lip, a crack in his mask.

“I mean, just kissing is great, but I’m kind of past the stage where I just want to kiss guys without it meaning anything. Like, don’t get me wrong, you’re a great kisser. Which obviously you know that.” I’m rambling. Someone shut me up before I have time to embarrass myself any further. Of course no one does stop me, because Gregor is the only other person in the room with me and my rambling seems to amuse him. So I continue. “But it just bothers me to kiss you and then not talk about it for a week and I think it’s fair for both of us to be on the same page with that. I don’t know how you have done things in the past. Not that I’m implying that you’ve been sleeping around. Which. I doesn’t matter if you have. Or haven’t. Really, it’s none of my business what you’ve been doing in the past. But it is my business what you do with me. And. Yeah. The kissing and not talking after. That doesn’t work for me.” I stop to take a breath, and I’m fully prepared to babble even more, because that’s what I’m good at, but apparently Gregor takes pity on me, because he interrupts before I can continue.

“So you want me to take you out on a date or what?”

“No,” I laugh. He looks at me, lifting his brow. It’s infuriating. “Yes?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” I repeat. He turns back to his phone. “Wait? Okay as in okay you’ll take me out or okay this conversation is over?”

“Okay,” he says again and refuses to look at me. I blink at him, trying to understand. There’s a smile on his lips, one he’s definitely trying to hide, but he’s not as successful as he probably likes to think he is. Maybe it is still a game for him. Maybe everything is. Who knows.

“You are the most annoying person ever, did you know that?”

“I know.”

#schlierenwald #ski jumping #sj fic #fanfiction #this is way past the drabble length again and it's starting to be a problem #schlierenwald saga

24 notes · View notes

stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 5 years ago

Text

[that explosion was beautiful]

Day 30: Endings #twdgdrabblechallenge

Note: I’m finally finished with this damn challenge! Three months late! I don’t even care, I finished it, and I’m proud and now I can move all of my focus into my one shot that I’m hoping to have published on Jan 31. Fingers crossed.

Next time I do one of these challenges [because yeah, spoiler alert, I’m doing one next month] it’s going to be much shorter hahaha. Anyway, we’re ending this with a quick look at the aftermath of the delta’s ship exploding since I’ve gotten asks in the past about Mitch’s role at that point.

AO3

---

The word “beautiful” isn’t one that Mitch throws around a lot. Hell, he can’t remember the last time he of the word or even spoke it aloud.

But that explosion was beautiful.

The earth shook and it rained bits of wood and metal. The river sent waves of water crashing against the pier and the shore, and the world had a sunset glow to it made only uncanny knowing the sun actually set hours ago.

The whole sight was one Mitch would’ve enjoyed if not for the walkers roaming around, riled up from the commotion, drawn to the flaming, sinking ship enough to swim through the river. That topped with the fact that he lost Clementine and AJ after the broiler finally went off ruined the moment the explosion blew the boat into nonexistence. He managed to find Tenn, sending him in the direction of Aasim and Omar.

Mitch tried not to be rough with the kid, even if he was still annoyed at him for breaking his cover to try and sneak onto the boat, getting them both caught when Mitch went after him.

His cheek throbs painfully, bruised by the hand that was Lilly’s.

“You’re tough, I’ll give you that. You’d make a nice addition to our community, a strong soldier... But you’re stupid. We’ll have to work on that.”

Mitch scoffs.

Joke’s on her- he’s not the one with a bullet in the face right now. Bitch.

He stabs another walker through the head, shoving the limp body aside as he frantically searches the area, senses overwhelmed and on high alert. He takes out two more walkers before he sees someone through the thick fog of smoke.

Clementine’s lying face-first on the ground, AJ right beside her. They’re not unconscious from what he can tell, both shifting but obviously disoriented.

Walkers take notice of them, especially when Clementine sits up to grasp her thigh, grunting and wincing in pain. Mitch is running without a second thought.

“Shit!” he hears her curse, realizing that one of the walkers is stumbling towards them.

He makes it in time, kicking the back of the walker’s knee before directing his knife through its skull. It falls forward, limp against the dirt.

“Mitch!” AJ cries, jumping to his feet. “You made it!”

“Yeah,” Mitch huffs, wiping at his brow with a grin and offering Clementine a hand. “’Course I did.”

Clementine’s arms are around him in seconds, hugging his waist and saying, “You have no idea how happy I am to see you!”

While Mitch isn’t a huggy person in the slightest, he tosses that aside to hug her back. They nearly died on that fucking thing, he can make an exception this time.

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles, awkwardly patting her back. “Don’t get your snot all over my shirt.”

That makes her laugh.

“Sorry.”

“Shit,” Mitch watches blood soak through Clementine the pants of her thigh where a wound cuts deep, “you okay? Can you walk?”

“Yeah, it’s not bad-”

The relief of their reunion is short-lived when a cry echoes out from the shore.

It’s Louis with his arms around Violet’s waist, a walker clutching onto her boot, groaning and gurgling water. Louis kicks at it, but slips, causing both of them to fall into the mud, slipping further into the water.

Violet doesn’t move.

“Louis! Vi!” Clementine calls for them but steps back when she attracts the attention of nearby walkers.

“They’re hurt!” AJ gasps.

“Get the fuck off-!” Louis shouts at the fucker, giving a final, hard kick to its skull, caving it in and sending the walker back into the water.

Clementine, injuries forgotten, snatches her bow from the ground and plants herself firmly. She shoots the walker with ease, as well as a few more taking an interest in Louis as he struggles to get Violet out of the water.

She lunges forward, ready to dart towards them but stumbles, grasping at her bleeding thigh with a sharp intake.

“Clem!” AJ’s by her side in an instant, grabbing her arm and staring wide-eyed at the gaping wound.

Fuck, more walkers are approaching.

“Clem, can you get to them?” he asks.

“Yeah, yeah, can you-”

“Go!” Mitch readies his knife with a firm nod. “I got it! Go get them!”

Clementine returns his nod before dashing towards the river where Louis drags Violet fully out of the water.

The fuckers are everywhere, but they’re not hard to take out thanks to the little knee trick that Clementine taught him. How the hell did he not think of that before? Now it just seems so obvious. He’d have to remind himself to thank her if they all made it back to the school in one piece.

Gunshots ring through the woods, a chorus of walker cries and infuriated shouts follow suit. The remaining delta fuckers group together, shooting walkers and arguing with each other.

Mitch watches one of them get grabbed, a walker sinking its teeth into her throat and tearing the flesh apart.

It’s a strange feeling to watch someone get bit and feel zero remorse.

Fuck ‘em, they’re getting what they had coming.

“Mitch! Get over here! They’re hurt!”

"Fuck,” Mitch hisses, knuckles white around the handle of his blade. He dashes towards them to find Louis pressing on Violet’s chest, counting to himself before pausing to breathe into her mouth. AJ’s by Violet’s head, mouth pouting sadly.

Panic settles in his stomach as Mitch turns to stare wide-eyed at Clementine, asking, “Fuck, is she...?”

“No!” Louis exclaims, blood smeared along his jaw and dripping down his quivering chin, looking as though he may cry. “She’s fine, I just- we- fuck, c’mon Vi!”

“What happened?” AJ asks.

Louis doesn’t seem to hear the boy’s question, leaning over to breathe more air into Violet’s lungs until her body convulses, water spewing from Violet’s mouth as she begins to choke.

“Oh, thank God!” Clementine falls beside Louis, helping him roll Violet onto her side so she can cough up the remaining water.

“Violet!” Louis is crying now, tears falling down his face as he pulls her to him, cradling her in his arms. “Fuck, I thought- I’m so sorry, Vi. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” His voice falls quiet as he murmurs his apologies over and over again.

“We have to move her,” Clementine says. “It’s not safe here.”

“Aasim and Omar are waiting for us,” Mitch agrees. “They’re over there.”

“I can carry her,” Louis sniffles. When he tries to curl her up into a position which he could lift her, Violet struggles, though it’s pointless. She’s far too enervated from the explosion, her injuries, and nearly drowning. All she can do is pound pathetically at Louis’ chest.

“You-” Violet manages, “-you bastard-”

“C’mon, Vi,” Louis says, “we gotta get up. I got you.”

She barely fights him, letting him pull her up on trembling legs. She leans into him for support, cheek pressed into his chest.

“God, what the fuck happened to you guys?” Mitch asks.

“Minnie-” Violet whispers, nearly collapsing until Louis leans down to place his arm behind her knees, lifting her up and turning to gaze back at the nearly sunken boat.

The flames hide the despair behind his dark eyes, as for what that despair was about, Mitch didn’t know. He didn’t know what happened in that boat, only on top of it.

Together, they make it over to Aasim and Omar with no trouble, crouching down beside them- well, Louis collapses, huffing with his back against the rocks, still cradling Violet who looks ready to pass out.

“Oh, thank god,” Aasim exclaims. “You guys okay?”

“Violet?” Omar asks, still clutching his wounded leg.

Louis shakes his head at him, saying, “She’s okay... we’re okay.”

“Willy and Ruby brought a cart around to get us the hell outta here,” Mitch nods over the rocks. “We just gotta get everyone over there.”

“We can do that,” Clementine nods, raising her bow. “You guys go ahead. I’ll stay back and cover you.”

“You sure?” Mitch asks. “You’re leg’s still fucked up.”

“Yeah, I-”

“Wait,” AJ grabs onto Clementine’s sleeve, eyes narrowed as he stares off into the distance. “Tenn..? Tenn! And- and James! Look!”

Fuck.

Fuck, he’s right!

Tenn stands close behind James across the beach. From what Mitch can tell, James has two knives that he’s using to take down every walker coming near them, bodies beginning to pile up.

Holy shit...

It’s Tenn who spots them first, waving over at them with a pleading expression.

Mitch sighs, frustrated. He told Tenn to meet up with Aasim and Omar! He pointed him in the right direction, so what the hell is he doing over there? And with James?

Well, shit, he shouldn’t be mad about that. The guy is protecting Tenn from being completely devoured so Mitch can set aside any annoyance for the moment.

“We have to help them," says Louis, helplessly looking around and down at Violet, who’s fully unconscious now and deadweight in his arms.

“I got it,” Mitch says, turning back to Clementine before she can speak. “Get everyone across to the cart. I’ll grab Tenn.”

“You can’t go alone,” Aasim objects. “There are way too many walkers! It’s too dangerous!”

“Don’t worry, I won’t be alone,” Mitch jerks his thumb back towards Tenn and James. “Our little walker friend will be there to keep me company.”

Aasim narrows his eyes, clearly confused. “What? What walker friend?”

“James,” AJ answers. “He wears walker skin.”

“Wait, the one Clem said she’d marry? He’s here?”

"Yes, Aasim, that James,” Clementine scowls. “He helped us break into the boat. He’s a friend. We can trust him.”

Aasim looks ready to ask another million questions but shuts up when another gunshot goes off, followed by a scream and ripping flesh.

“Oh my god...” Omar’s eyes widen as he watches the rest of the raiders go down.

More and more walkers are approaching the beach, finishing off the rest of the raiders and if they don’t hurry their asses up, they’ll be next.

“No time to argue,” Mitch insists, gripping his knife tight. “I’ll grab Tenn and meet you guys back at the school. Get everyone into the cart and ride like hell!”

Before anyone else can protest, Mitch is running from cover and across the beach, dodging and kicking and stabbing his way to Tenn and James.

22 notes · View notes

vrenaewrites · 5 years ago

Text

HUSH HUSH by Becca Fitzpatrick thoughts: Ch 12 - end

Full video here.

CHAPTER 12

Nora’s mom is on her way home

Nora goes to visit V

“I love drugs” LMAO

She goes into a diatribe about her doctor only eating easter candy i’m crying

It was a guy!!! He had dark eyes and he was wearing a ski mask!!!!!

After thought: was jules just manipping them SO HARD they couldn’t keep a grip on what the ski masked person looked like? If so...why keep wearing a ski mask as your calling card??

V had told elliott they were going shopping

Nora tells V about hitting the guy in the ski mask

Ooh nora told patch about shopping too!!!!

Too short and too skinny to be elliott though

V is like “the more i think about it, i really think it was patch”

Nora doesn’t get a chance to tell V about elliott before the drugs kick in hard

“I brought your homework, where do you want it?” she pointed to the trash can LMAO V IS THE BEST

She goes home and hugs her mom

CHAPTER 13

She and V go to borderline where patch works to get info from his coworkers

Nora is sweaty lmao

Nora literally wrote interrogations on one side of a piece of paper and flirting prompts on the other side this girl is ridiculous

V brought slutty heels to make Nora more seductive I’m dead

V invited Jules and Elliott...she’s been seeing Jules

Nora goes to tell V about Elliott but he shows up before she can

Jules doesn’t show up

Nora is like so Elliot if the prep school is so great why did you transfer basically challenging this potential murderer

Elliott is like “heard the girls were hotter at your school”

I am beyond confused as to why V invited these guys who know who Nora is, but also expects Nora to put on a whole ass disguise in the bathroom and go talk to the bartender… Why would you invite these guys along? This just makes it way more difficult…

Nora goes to the bartender and tries to make conversation; is terrible at it, basically asks him is it possible to get hired here with a felony, can I see patch’s job application, does patch have a girlfriend?

Patch is covering a shift so he is NOT off as originally expected

Patch confronts her in the girl’s bathroom and he’s like “are you following me?” POT KETTLE BITCH

She goes to take the high heels off and drops the list of interrogation questions and patch picks it up and I am nervous

Patch had a girlfriend but she’s dead

Gonna call it: she’s the girl who was hanged at kinghorn that Elliott was questioned about

Chapter 14

Her mom “Blinked owlishly” excuse me??

Nora’s mom wants to sell their house because it’s too much $

So Nora decides not to tell mom about the ski mask guy

She asks her mom about knowing if she loved dad and if she was ever afraid of dad

When the pats lost her dad would chop down trees with a chainsaw lmaoooooo what

Nora‘s mom says “ooh a boy is he on chess team? Student council? Tennis team?”

And Nora says… He likes pool… and her mom says “ooh a swimmer” LMAO

Someone ripped her room APART

It’s the ski mask guy!!!!! He jumped out the window

One of the cops looks like patch…

Nothing is messed up when the cops look at the room…

Is Nora going insane or is it angel shit

Unfortunately I think this book would be so much more interesting if I didn’t already know that patch was a fallen angel and I don’t know if that’s my bad for trying to fine just like a quick summary of what the book was about on the Internet, or if like the back of the book let you know that this is about an angel… I mean the cover let you know it’s about an angel but I would’ve thought these dudes are like…serial killers or something and that Nora had some kind of mental issue or they had messed with her iron supplements to make her go nuts…Which might’ve been more interesting than whatever is going on here

Chapter 15

Nora finally tells V about the article and v doesn’t believe her

Nora thinks that she has a great point because Elliot transferred schools after he was questioned… I’m sure it was really hard to keep going to school with people who knew you were a murder suspect...so…

Nora wants to go to kinghorn and question the students about elliott

The fact that this all somehow ties back to fallen angels is really pissing me off because we are halfway through it, and we have not even really from Nora’s point of you introduced the idea of Angels

Nora is suddenly like why the fuck is Jules always sick

Also how is he always around if kinghorn is such a difficult school

Nora realizes the article that she printed about Elliot was missing from her room after the ski mask guy broke in so now she is convinced Skimask guy is Elliot

I will say that I have absolutely no idea where this is going so it is keeping my attention because again I don’t understand how this is going to tie back to angels and why the girl died and etc.

Coach makes V and Patch switch places

“I didn’t do homework” “who did you do?” Bro come on

“The subjects pulse increased on contact”

She goes to her appointment with Miss Green and somehow Miss Green knows that patch took her home from the pier and that patch went into her house what the fuck is going on

I really really really hope that all of this weird shit comes together in the last like five chapters and I end up like screaming OH DUH putting all this together… But because this was recommended as part of my cringe series, I have a very strong feeling that is not going to happen and all of this means nothing

“something about Miss Green bothered me, it was almost like she had an agenda“ yeah bitch she knew a guy took you to your house and came inside, she is stalking you

Chapter 16

Nora runs into Marcy at the library and basically Marcy says V got attacked because someone mistake her for a bear or a moose because she’s fat, and then they have a name calling back-and-forth of skank, slut, anorexic pig like real vile shit

Nora goes to the underground tunnel to get to the parking lot even though...she didn’t drive…

Patch is in the tunnel

“His smile looked like he didn’t play by the rules”

She immediately is like “if he’s gonna rape me he cornered me in the perfect place” JESUS

I mean all women think like that in a dark space but she likes this guy and they go to school together and...damn that was a jump!

Nora gets a car between them and they have like a run around while she’s asking him questions

“Was it a coincidence that the last normal day in my life had been right before that fateful day?” Editor fight me

She lets him take her home again

I am starting to feel like we are back to after, where the same things keep happening over and over for no reason… She was so determined to get answers and then she let it go because he turned the conversation on her...she should’ve just held her ground and then like I am not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is going on, but she didn’t, so does she care or not

He asks her out…

Chapter 17

She is so infuriating, she’s getting ready for this date but thinking about kissing him rather than thinking about getting answers on if this dude is stalking her / reading her mind...it’s so frustrating

The detectives show up

Asking about Marcy…?

Marcy got beat up!!!! By patch??

She lies that patch isn’t on his way

They go to the arcade

He’s behind her showing her how to play pool fuck yeah

He’s like “if I hit this, take off your jacket”

A guy named Rickson shows up, him and patch start roughhousing and we see patch’s giant back scars

They call him patch because he used to get his ass beat in bar fights and had to get patched up a lot lmao

Chapter 18

He leaves her in the Jeep while he gets dinner and she goes sleuthing

So in chapter 18 she is saying she would settle for finding his cell phone number but...she called him at Boze arcade in like the third chapter so what number was that, did you not write it down once you washed it off your hand, or was that the arcades phone... why do you not have his phone number anymore

He has a metal flashlight with blood on it in his glove compartment, making Nora think he had beat up Marcy after all

I swear to God, if he gets back in the car and she starts getting horny for him after finding this flashlight I am not gonna finish this book I am going to quit

He pulled out a gun?!?!?!?!!?!?!???!?!?

Paintball gun. He says it’s paint on the flashlight?? Sure Jan

He gives her a snow globe of the pier, cute!

Mom catches them lmaooo

Chapter 19

So Nora is on the phone with V and she’s like how did the date go with patch and Nora said something about him giving her pool pointers and he says I bet he could give you pointers in other areas… And then the next sentence is V trying to convince Nora once again that patch is the one who broke her arm… So… Why the fuck do you want your best friend to fuck the guy who broke your arm????????

Nora realizes that the angels that were painted on the roller coaster have the same scar that patch has

“My voice was strewn with cobwebs” huh?????

She goes on their home computer to google “angel wings scars” LMAO why did every girl in a YA novel in the early 2000s google what their monster boyfriend was

Info dump re angels: they talk to humans in their minds, can possess them during the unholy Hebrew month

“I filed everything away that I had just read in my mind, and stamped ‘scary’ on the outside“ lmao

“V, do you believe in superheroes? Do you think the Bible is real?”

Chapter 20

Elliott is at her house...drunk

He punches the side of her house

He invites her to go camping with him Jules and V...after he acknowledges she doesn’t like him

He rips her out of the house and throws her against it when she says she doesn’t wanna go

Thank god her mom wakes up

V tries to talk Nora into going, and Nora tells her what happened at the house, and V is like “well he was drunk”

Insert pic of unamused Kristen Stewart face

PLEASE tell me she’s being controlled by the angel powers because wtf

“Maybe you’re trying so hard to pin the ski mask on Elliott because you know it’s patch deep down” she’s not wrong tho patch is also a terrible dude who is stalking(?) her

Nora goes to Portland to investigate Elliott, and kierstens death

She throws away her questions this time, smart

She interrogates the waitress at kierstens old job, who is NOT amused but agrees to tell her some tea if she gets food and tips her big

Kiersten and Elliott were hooking up

Elliott bought kierstens apartment so he def coulda planted the note

Elliott and Jules were in the restaurant talking about a test that Jules has failed...I get the feeling it wasn’t academic

Chapter 21

Someone’s watching herrrr

V is in Portland with Elliott…? But she’s alone...she wants Nora to come get her

Red flag

She gets hustled by a homeless woman for her coat

She left her phone in the coat

She witnesses a shooting...of the bag lady...who was wearing her coat and hat!!!!!!!!!!

She calls patch and he comes to get her

V went home with the boys

“The water was smooth black poison” wut

The Jeep dies on the highway and a storm rolls in

Chapter 22

They get a room to wait out the storm because the lights and phones are down

She still is like wary of him but she doesn’t really have a choice at this point, fair.

Also, favorite trope: there’s only one bed

Her clothes are wet so she makes him blow out the candles so he can’t see her in her underwear….

She touches his scar and gets sucked into blackness?!?!

Chapter 23

There are 8 chapters left and I have a BAD feeling that we’re in sequel bait territory

She’s in like a flashback from 8 months ago

Miss green meets patch at bo’s, he calls her Daubria

“Your kind and my kind don’t mix” she’s an angel and he’s a fallen one, I just know it “it’s not easy getting down here”

“If you save a human life, you can get your wings back”

“Now tell me why you’re really here”

Something about the book of Enoch and him wanting to recreate it

He wants a name from her list since she’s a death angel

Daubria says Nora’s name and patch asks who wants to kill her and Daubria says, “you”

So…..if he stops himself….he can get his wings?

She comes back and patch pins her to the bed, pissed

So she has just found out that he wants to kill her, he has her pinned to the bed, and she asks “is Daubria your girlfriend???” Why do you literally care and why do you not have any self-preservation skills

He kisses her?!?!

She bites the shit out of his lip

He did try to kill her on the archangel but couldn’t do it, he was gonna stab her in her house, couldn’t do it

She’s passing out because she needs her iron pills

He calms her down

He lets her touch his scars again so she’ll trust him

Chapter 24

She wakes up next to a skeleton in a graveyard

The Irish guy is talking to patch there

Patch wants to become human, as he heard in the book of Enoch

She comes back

Patch feels through a “sheet of glass” unless he possess a body

Patch is the angel from the prologue I think

“If you can’t feel, why did you kiss me?” “Because I can feel it in my heart”

He fell because he lusted after a human girl

He didn’t know Daubria was still on earth…

She now thinks Daubria is the ski mask person

Chapter 25

Patch goes to get the car and leaves Nora there

They get her home and patch checks the house for her

V doesn’t answer her phone

Daubria is there!!

She says she isn’t the one who has been spying

She planted the idea in V’s mind that patch attacked her

Her birthmark means she’s Chauncey’s descendant, and the book says if patch killed his vassal’s descendant he can be human (according to Daubria)

She goes to kill Nora so she’ll be out of the way

Daubria is v hurt by him falling and “falling” for the human girl

Daubria goes full angel, using tk, glowing, trying to stop Nora

Daubria sets the house on fire

Patch comes back and tells her to drive his Jeep to Delphic

She starts to search for V in the meantime

Chapter 26

She goes to the movies and gets a ticket for the sacrifice, remarking on the irony of the title

V isn’t at the movies

But patch is?!?!

“Shut up or I’ll get security” “yeah, get security, this guy wants to kill me” “I want to kill you”

“I’ll tell you what I’ve done: I’m not good, but I was worse”

He’s now saying she’s worth falling for basically

“I don’t kill people who are important to me, and you top the list”

Patch ripped daubria’s wings off

“Let’s be honest, you got it bad for me, and I’ve got it bad for you.”

“You don’t need me to help you fight her.” “What do I need you for?” “We have unfinished business”

They making OUT in this theater bathroom

Her phone rings, V and the guys broke into school, and Elliott says “Nora come play or there’s a tree in the courtyard with V’s name on it”

Listen. To. Me. If these two plots have nothing to do with each other, I am going to rip my hair out. These could have been 2 different books.

Chapter 27

She tells patch about the article

Patch says he doesn’t remember Jules being at the arcade…

Jules is an angel I bet

The jeeps tires are slashed so they pay an employee to take his car

He tells Nora to stay in the car

Chapter 28

Elliott calls Nora and says he’s watching her

Nora GETS OUT OF THE CAAAAAAR

AND GOES INTO THE SCHOOL NORA HE TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING GET OUT

Nora tripped over Jules’ dead body…

Elliott is in the library, basically dead…

The lights keep going on and off…

The ski mask person is here!!!!!!!

IT IS JULES?!?!

He’s an angel!!!! Called it, He’s been fucking with her mind

He throws her in the bio room, and she sees a scalpel on the ground and grabs it

Jules was Elliott’s benefactor and made him choose between love and money…

Jules really wanted patch, but patch can’t be hurt...so he’s using Nora to get to him

Jules is patch’s vassal!!!!! So he’s fucking PISSED

HE IS CHAUNCEY!!!!!!

The guardian presence she felt wasn’t her dad, it was Jules

She stabs him, but bumps a table as she tries to escape…

He passes out

Chapter 29

She finds V in the e-zine lab

All the doors are chained…

She ends up trapped in the gym

Jules has a gun!!!!

He beat up Marcy because he didn’t want anyone messing with “his girl”

Patch finds them, Jules holds her at gun point, patch possesses Nora to beat the SHIT out of Jules

He couldn’t stay long enough to kill Jules, and the effort made him pass out

She climbs up the air shaft despite being afraid of heights and Jules is fucking with her, making her think she’s falling

Patch helps her anchor to reality

They’re both on the rafters

She realizes if she sacrifices herself, patch can be human

She throws herself off the rafter

Chapter 30

She hears a clock and wings, but then she slides backwards instead

She wakes up in her bedroom, with patch

Patch turned down her sacrifice so she could live

“What good is a body if I can’t have you?”

He’s a guardian angel because he saved her

V and Elliott are fine

The police think Jules killed himself

V says “shoe-shopping therapy” instead of retail therapy why

The book ends with patch coming back to give her a kiss...boring

There’s an exchange that’s the last sentence of the book where he pulls away and she’s like “more” “more?” “more”

#reading #book review #cringe books #booktube #hush hush #becca fitzpatrick #patch cipriano #nora grey #negative review

5 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Grace & Janis

Grace: OMG you and the new boy! 💘🙌 Grace: love that for you babes Janis: lol thanks Grace: 😂😂 k yeah you're busy Grace: I will need that goss tho Janis: dumb and dumber will make up their own to fill in the blanks, I know Grace: LOL Grace: obvs but like Janis: you want the actual truth to spread, yeah Janis: you're alright, soz you won't get that cred Grace: UM rude I want the truth to know Grace: You're MY sister, hello Janis: 👌👌 Janis: hey Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: ugh just say he's boring whatever Grace: I know the feeling Janis: leave the games to your mates, and the jumping to the wrong conclusions, yeah, we ain't playing that shit Janis: why would I bother if he was, like every other cunt here Grace: Duh I'm only here cos of Leon Grace: so unbothered too Janis: 'course you are Grace: I unbae-d him hun, obvs am Janis: yeah, so you're here just for the fun Janis: cool Grace: I'm here to show him what he's missing so yeah Janis: 'cos you 'unbae-d' him Janis: defs the actions of someone very unbothered and not a girl who got dumped and is seeing how fast he gets a new bitch, and who Janis: count me as not it, yeah 👍 Grace: not even! I know he's seeing Kaya and like I said, idc Janis: well then, not showing him nothing then, he don't miss you Grace: OMG this is so yesterday Grace: here for your 😍 not my 🙄 Janis: are we? Janis: I'm here to pass PE Grace: not what the new boy's here for tho Janis: yeah, not in my class Grace: I know Grace: he takes art Janis: lol why do you know that Janis: you don't Grace: why DON'T you know that? Grace: 🔎👀 Janis: not out here doing a survey Grace: I hope not Grace: keep it sexy honey Janis: sexy Janis: you sound like a nan Janis: a weird one, at that Grace: 🤞 you don't look like one Grace: what ARE you even wearing rn OMG Janis: yeah, 'cos I'm the one that thinks a cardigan is stylish Janis: my pjs? Grace: 😱😱😱😱 Grace: YOU'RE JOKING Janis: it's not particularly funny but Janis: knee slap away Grace: I literally can't help you Grace: 🙏 bitch Janis: everyone's ready for bed, what are you chatting Janis: I wasn't getting dressed again Grace: not everyone's ready to bed a hot boy tho Grace: I can't even with you Janis: if we were gonna fuck he'd see even less so Janis: don't think he's any more bothered than I am Grace: That's SO not the point Janis: are you gonna tell me Janis: cba to guess, like Grace: we do not have time for a masterclass! Grace: 🙏 you're right babes Janis: considering I'm here, I clearly am Grace: unless he's literally inside you rn in which case EW don't chat to me Grace: you don't know that for sure Janis: why would you even say that Janis: you're twisted Grace: Oh please Grace: I'm a nan, UM okay Janis: yeah, and I'm not interested in the incest you're peddling, thanks Grace: why would YOU even say that Grace: so gross Janis: you brought it up Janis: you think you'd be better at gaslighting by now Janis: tell your boyfriends to up their game Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: tell your boyfriend you don't always do 0 effort, he might be new enough to fall for it Janis: you get one that stays longer than the 3 minutes it takes him to pump and dump, I'll listen to your 'advice' Grace: you get one EVER & maybe I'll take it Janis: yeah, egg on my face for not letting every lad that wants to inside Janis: lmao 🥴🥴🥴 queen of romance as if you've ever had that either Grace: I've turned down so many lads THANK YOU Janis: 😂😂😂 Grace: 👌👌👌 👋 Janis: k yeah you're busy Janis: turning away all those elligible bacherlors will take all of two minutes of you staring at yourself delusional in the mirror, like Janis: nighttime routine! Grace: You're such a bitch Janis: Yeah, you too Grace: Literally where?? Janis: we do not have time to go through all those receipts! Janis: honey Grace: You don't Janis: 💔 Grace: sure Janis: Go talk to Holly and Jessica, they'll make you feel better Grace: I'm doing my night time routine, babes Grace: duh Janis: besties who cry together, no Janis: that's your whole schtick, they'll be inconsolable by now Grace: I'm not crying off a £35 mask Grace: you'll all have to get over it Janis: how effective it is on you, you may as well use it on them instead Janis: revenge acne, very cute Grace: I'm so sorry that my skin needs like a £100 one, okay? OMG Janis: yeah well, I appreciate you realise how tough it is on me Janis: tah babes Grace: leave me alone Janis: I have Janis: 💔 remember Grace: fine, go away Janis: find a spare room and make that feasible Grace: don't even bring him here Grace: I s2g Janis: it's alright, he don't fancy you Janis: the mask won't shatter the illusion, like Grace: Exactly, so just don't, okay? Janis: I'm not going to, Christ Grace: 👌 Janis: Really, Grace, what the fuck Grace: ???!! Janis: like I'm gonna fuck anyone when you're in the room Grace: like that's what I said or meant Janis: yeah, so as per, you can have your friends in whenever Janis: gotcha Grace: that's different Grace: my friends aren't boys Janis: wouldn't make a difference to you Grace: OMG I'm literally saying it does Janis: and it's bullshit Grace: sure Janis: you know it is Grace: no I don't Janis: you want an example of how much of a bitch you are, case in point Janis: my friends were never good enough, male or female Janis: yet we all have to put up with yours every weekend Grace: You don't have friends for me to judge Grace: if I was even bothered which I'm obvs not Janis: Convincing as it was first time 'round Grace: UGH Grace: I'm happy for you but I don't need to extend that to a welcome party in our room like Janis: Whatever Janis: later then Grace: Bye Grace: Are you back in for good? Janis: Probably Grace: I'll get the light then Janis: 👍 Janis: I would've found my way alright, like Grace: sure but I'm not breaking my neck thanks Janis: from the bottom bunk? Janis: impressive Grace: the amount I overpacked is Grace: cannot move Janis: note the 'over' there is negative, not positive Grace: oh great 💘😘 hasn't put you in a better mood Janis: you're the one here copping an attitude 'cos I won't enable your problem, but go off Grace: if you wanna invent problems for me to have, you go off hun Janis: the 'you've got enough' comes too easy Janis: make me work for it Grace: & you're never too busy, yeah? Grace: poor boy 💔 Janis: you see him here Janis: specifically not, on your orders 'cos you out here looking like shrek Grace: he just left you, give him at least one sec of thought like Grace: so rude Janis: capable of having more than one at a time, sweetheart Janis: god bless Grace: LOL Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: no use, won't be able to spot your brain like that Grace: Thanks for the advice Grace: I was gonna say it for actually doing what I asked but you're right back to being a bitch again so 🤷 Janis: 'cos the definition is famously 'do everything I say or you're a cunt' Janis: you'll never be Mia, babes Janis: not got that kinda clout over them, let alone me Grace: OMG stop Janis: 'cos you know it's true Janis: no bigger bitch than your bestie Grace: You can take the title if you want it babes Janis: your bestie? Janis: no tah Grace: the biggest bitch Janis: same difference Janis: keep up Grace: You don't even know her Janis: we ALL know her 🙄 Grace: She can be a lot, UM HELLO, so can I Janis: 😱 NO Janis: fucking hell Janis: what a revelation, call the press Grace: The rumor mill is focused elsewhere rn Grace: 💔 obvs Janis: I know Janis: get a nude 'leaked' like your fat friend Janis: worked for all of ten seconds Grace: if you want me to kms sure Janis: 🤷 Grace: won't call the press on that revelation hun Janis: I wouldn't Janis: bit embarrassing Janis: not all publicity is good publicity Grace: you'd know I guess Janis: 😂 you're actually jealous Janis: that's funny Grace: of what? Grace: you losing your virginity finally Janis: there's nothing sadder than sounding like a rode hard put away wet slag full of regret at 15, for starters Janis: we get it, you've never had an orgasm or a 'man' that weren't a piece of shit, get a vibrator and put down the cigs, Shirley Janis: and secondly, not got time for the list when you know perfectly well what Grace: & there's nothing more tragically desperate than getting with that boy cos he doesn't know anything about you Grace: he'll find out Janis: and everyone knows everything about you Janis: rather, they could, if they were interested to ever look Janis: it's gotta be hard being 10th most interesting, even Junior had some closeted appeal Janis: 💔 Grace: okay Jan, you're so mysterious Grace: good luck working that angle for another 15 years babes Janis: good luck being a bleeding heart for that long Janis: interest in the sob story ran dry long before your eyes have ever Janis: how infuriating, I don't want it, actively try to get rid of it, and I still get more than you Janis: gutted for you, truly Grace: sure Janis: I know, sympathy ain't what you want Janis: but it's all that's on offer for you so chow down, babe Grace: 😂😂 you think you know me like that Janis: everyone does, remember Janis: you think you get it both ways Janis: take that whilst you can 'cos it's coming up for 5 years and truly, the dead sister bit is dead Janis: Kiera O' Malley's dad died so it's #overparty sweetie Grace: You're twisted Janis: no shit Janis: get them to get you a therapist, all the 👂👀 you can buy Grace: Why would I go when I can send you in with all the issues you've invented for me Grace: hmu with the highlights hun Janis: Christ, don't pretend you don't know Janis: you want that angle Janis: to be this pathetic AND unaware of it Janis: self-awareness is your only shot at some dignity at this point Grace: I know all my angles thanks Janis: it's super funny when you pretend to be a full-time bimbo Janis: not tired at all Grace: IKR 🙌 Janis: kinda sad Janis: do you ACTUALLY think they'd rather be friend with the OTT 'happy' bitch, genuinely? Like you HAVE to know all your 'friends' are waiting for is the inevitable meltdown when you fall apart so they can see what earrings they can scavenge from your carcass Janis: livetweeting how #problematic you are and finally saying how little they fucked with you, anyways, but all the best in life, nothing but love, girl 😘 Grace: Oh honey, I'm 100% not that bitch EVER Grace: can't you spy the dynamic from your moral high ground? awks Janis: oh honey, just 'cos they're keeping the runt around to fatten up, does not mean you're not next on the spit Janis: sadder than I thought Janis: you'll actually be sad when it happens, fuck me Grace: flattered to be called out as that thin tbh Janis: ha, eating disorder gang got jokes Janis: burns calories Janis: not AS much as crying though so crack on Grace: Mhm so does hooking up, so you'll have a way into the squad now hooray Janis: not the way y'all do it, pillow princess Grace: you've never seen the way I do it Grace: my tapes are yet to be leaked Janis: as if they're filming Janis: darling if you were any good, you'd get callbacks, not pied off before a camping trip Janis: but god bless with that #metoo spirit Grace: everyone's ALWAYS filming, check your socials Grace: & I dumped him so 👏 for bringing that fake news back Janis: nah, you didn't Janis: you should get dumpee tatted right under your doormat forehead tat Janis: let 'em know just how much they can get away with Janis: so hot Grace: were you there lurking or are you finally over that now? Janis: lol i'm the one with the obsessive personality Janis: now you're just being silly Janis: check your socials Janis: you've not copped that totally 'anon' post with all the tea only a REAL bestie SHOULD know? 🤔 Grace: I came here so obvs I am ridiculous yeah Janis: no shit Janis: you should be home, smacking her in the face Janis: but you've chased after a lad who was 3 fingers deep in another silly bitch at brekkie Janis: that's fun for you, yeah? Grace: 🥊 is more of a look you like to wear Grace: but sure Janis: sort it out Janis: it's not bad enough you let anyone with a dick in this town make a mug of you, you have to let her as well Grace: I didn't come here for Leon Grace: he wishes Janis: This is why I can't do this with you Janis: he doesn't and you did Janis: crying otherwise helps your case none Janis: actually do something about it if you don't like the narrative Grace: That is literally what I'm doing Grace: if I stayed home it would look like I was crying over him Janis: well right now you just look like you're stalking him Janis: maybe if you tried with the activities, like Grace: ugh that's easy for you to say Grace: it'd look really good when I tried & still can't do it Grace: Get a clue OMG Janis: I ain't saying become Bear Grylls Janis: just have a laugh, with the other girls on this trip that ain't too scared to look anything less than their knock-off idea of 'perfect' Grace: as if Grace: the other girls on this trip don't wanna be my besties Grace: 🔪 are out Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah and that helps the lads fuck all of you over Janis: just build a fucking raft together, don't need to braid each other's pubes and make friendship bracelets on the last day Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: no bitch fucks with me, I ain't getting pushed into the lake Grace: I'm not you Grace: 💔 obvs Janis: yeah, use some of that scathing attitude on the people who need to hear it Janis: why can you be a total bitch to me but you'll 😢 and hold back on every other cunt who actually wants to see you fail Grace: you're my sister Janis: don't remind us, yeah Grace: never Grace: it's bad enough we're sharing a room rn what am I 9? Janis: not my fault your bestie can't fart without breaking a bone Janis: if I could share with anyone else, obvs 💔 Grace: it's not my fault either Grace: anything she does Janis: wasn't about to say you were the instigator of the starvation army Grace: Duh Grace: not looking like this I'm not Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: her dedication to ending up in the ground with all her #thinspiration goals is not aspirational Grace: & neither is this Janis: soz, you wanna truffle shuffle louder, I didn't catch the scope of your GINORMOUS wobbling jelly rolls from here Janis: shut up Grace: you've literally said worse to me Janis: and? Grace: don't tell me to shut up Grace: so rude Janis: you know I ain't here to listen to you chat utter shite Grace: I just said, it isn't & so have you before Janis: That's your problem Janis: getting your esteem from people who hate you Janis: yourself included, naturally Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: if that were true Leon wouldn't be my ex Grace: go tell him to shut up if you're so concerned Janis: if it weren't true, you wouldn't have fucked with him in the first place Janis: or include him on the list, he's a prime twat Grace: We get new boys literally never & you 💍 him when we did Janis: don't be dramatic Janis: you go for the wrong ones to begin with Janis: correction, they go for you and you don't tell 'em to fuck off Grace: Oh okay yeah I'll date the 🤓 Janis: Probably better than getting piped n pied by the fuckboys Janis: seriously, how many have you lot got in common, it's grim Grace: not if I don't understand half the words they say Grace: I've got you to make me feel stupid Grace: & the others, 10th most interesting, right? 🏆 Janis: you want to be stupid Janis: or at least be seen as, pretend you are like that makes all this shit okay somehow Janis: who am I to deny you that, bimbo? Grace: 😂😂 you don't know what I want Janis: neither do you, chuckles Janis: it's a shit show Grace: Exactly Grace: but I know what I don't want & it's 🤓 thanks Janis: like there's two choices Janis: you don't live in an american teen drama, much as you make-believe it Grace: like I'm spoilt for any Janis: stop being so judgemental Janis: not gonna do you any favours Janis: if I need to tell you that, when I go out of my way to do it, you've got a problem Grace: neither is running some kind of virgin training school Grace: but sure Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 alright Grace Janis: continue to cry about how shit your friends are, how shit the boys who fuck you are, whilst only letting the worst people into your life Grace: OMG I'm just saying everyone already thinks I'm gonna take my clothes off every time I upload Grace: I don't need predatory status against 🤓 Janis: because I'm saying fuck every nerd in school without prejudice Janis: I'm saying there's plenty of alright lads who would like you that you won't give the time of day right now Grace: bitch where?? Grace: an alright lad likes YOU not me Janis: so all boys are shit Janis: like all friends bitch behind each other's backs Janis: YOU'RE settling because you don't reckon you could do any better, that no one decent would fuck with you, admit that 'cos blaming the world ain't gonna change the world you're surrounding yourself with Grace: SO DRAMATIC Grace: I know I can't, I've been sat down here saying it literally the length of this convo Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I've said it, you have, Leon has, the boy before him has Janis: Nah, you won't try Janis: you're scared everyone's right Janis: get some fucking ambition and get out of this town or you're gonna end up like the rest of them Janis: knocked up by some prick from 'round here and that's all you've got Grace: cos this town is the problem Grace: as if Janis: death tolls high for a reason, baby Janis: Carly, Eds, they were trying to escape too fucking late and they only way they could Janis: at least they got out, everyone sensible has Janis: Ma, Rio, they're fucking stuck for life Grace: they were trying to escape people, things, whatever Grace: she was no happier anywhere else we lived Janis: we were babies, you don't remember that Janis: that's the bullshit they've fed you 'cos it's all that keeps them from doing themselves in with the guilt Grace: okay Janis: anyway, semantics, if you want it that way, girl Janis: it's this family we all want out of Grace: but we can't Janis: yeah, we can Janis: where's Billie, where's Junior, Nancy Janis: like I said, anyone with sense jumped ship there and then Grace: that's away not out, nobody gets to be out Janis: they're not coming back Janis: they're as out as she is Grace: no they're not Janis: get a clue and check out 'til we can actually go too Grace: check their socials then check hers Grace: she's the only one who died Janis: worse than dead Janis: least you can all pretend she didn't wanna go, yeah Janis: she was coming back Janis: they're actively choosing to stay the fuck away, every day, and they're right Grace: She was, Janis Grace: cope with that Janis: she's dead anyway, cope with that Janis: all the family love in the world ain't saved none of us, her included Grace: It's not me hiding behind her Janis: it's not hiding when you don't want to be found Janis: and you can babble on about what an open book you are but you're the biggest fake of them all Janis: at least da flaked all those times he couldn't hack it, at least ma's a cheat who's fucked over everyone she 'loves', at least Rio is a whore who's fucking her own family to boot Janis: they talk a big game on the happy family, but their actions say otherwise Janis: you're just, here Janis: hoping we all get it back, like it was ever good Grace: #fakeittilyoumakeit babes Grace: I'm 15 where do you want me to go? In Billie's footsteps cos LOL that modelling career is a no Janis: you miss the part where I said check out 'til it's over Janis: let it go, Grace, let everyone go, because they're gone Grace: I'm still waiting for you to tell me how Janis: It ain't hard Janis: they might not be as forthcoming giving you reasons to hate them as I am Janis: but it's not taxing to find 'em Janis: bubbling under the surface, barely Grace: I hate you but we're still having this chat Janis: it's all perfunctory Grace: like I know what that means Janis: Truer words Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 okay Janis: Night Grace: 👋 Janis: [Assault death drop] Janis: 💀 yet? Grace: about to kms Janis: 🙌 Janis: you really took our little talk to heart Grace: literally nothing to do with you but 👌 Janis: sure it is Janis: you think you're getting solo interest rn? Janis: I'll tell 'em it's gone from a sickbed to a deathbed, see if they go for it Grace: UM I don't want it thanks Grace: I can die of shame away from the 👀🍿 Janis: Bollocks 😂 Janis: it's the most fun you've had all trip Grace: You said do activities! This is so your fault Janis: See, you took multiple chats to heart, awh Janis: you're not even hurt, just your ego Grace: OMG I am not in the mood Grace: go away Janis: damn, lanky and large not fluff your pillow just right Janis: can't get the staff, babe Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: you know what's wrong you were LITERALLY there Janis: yeah, you eat shit, the boy laughed Janis: an amusing scene but not one you need to hide in the sickbay for Grace: STOP Janis: you're so self-involved, take a look around, baby, plenty people making mugs of themselves, it's half the point Janis: Kerri-Ann gave herself the biggest wedgie on the aerial course Janis: probably picking that out still today Grace: okay that was funny Grace: but just Janis: I get it, it's not funny when it's you, yeah Janis: better to laugh it off though than be a primadonna or that'll be your camp moniker by the end of this and your ladies in waiting will have to kms too Grace: I can't now Janis: well, I'll tell you when it's safe to come out Janis: when the fat lad takes a tumble or whatever else is the laugh of the minute Grace: I picked him to be my partner so this wouldn't happen! 😠😠😠 Grace: boys are so unreliable like Janis: they're not famed for their use of words, give you that Janis: it was an accident, like Janis: no wink wink nudge nudge let's let the bitch fall was happening Janis: the teachers aren't that useless, quite Grace: thank god Grace: I'd have to kill him before myself & my wrist hurts so like no Janis: you started slicing already Janis: hit up the samaritans this ain't my scene Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: come on, that was funny too Grace: no Janis: spoilsport Grace: You still won, get over it Janis: Obviously Janis: who else would Grace: not Leon that's for sure Grace: that girl makes me look athletic Janis: 😂 Grace: she's not even the one he's telling people he dumped me for Grace: but I'm a slag, okay Janis: ladies, ladies Janis: you're BOTH slags Grace: LOL Grace: I'm gonna get dad to pick me up Grace: give it my best 💜 por favor, venha me resgatar, pai 💜 Janis: don't be dumb Janis: you'll look like more of a baby than you already do Grace: &? Janis: you're supposed dying of shame in there Janis: it's counterproductive Janis: get up and get over it, minimal damage Grace: like you care Janis: Obviously not Janis: but you apparently do, so much Janis: so think on Grace: to what? I shouldn't even be here anyway Janis: you want the lasting impression to be the girl that showed up, threw a paddy and then ran away Grace: focus on the fact you'll have your own room babes Janis: exactly Janis: why you tryna do me any favours Grace: not about you hun Grace: embrace the concept Grace: & new boy's 😍😍💘😘 Janis: yet I win again Janis: alright Grace: it's not me v you Grace: it was me v Leon & there was a glimmer of hope in one quite fit lad but 💔 obvs Grace: not gonna get with him if he can't handle a blindfold, am I Janis: that was your master plan Janis: jesus Grace: Duh Janis: Ooh Leon, lemme prove what a slag I ain't and a total catch and fling myself at a random boy Janis: showed him Janis: lucky it didn't work if that was your idea of a point to you Grace: No, let me show you how much I don't care that you think I'm a slag & neither does anyone else Grace: that boy included Janis: he definitely cares Janis: banking on it Janis: honestly, get a clue Grace: whatever it's not about to happen Janis: good Janis: 'cos that's the stupidest thing you've said all holiday and that's saying something Grace: such a bitch Janis: such a stupid slag Janis: we've all got our cross to bear Grace: Yeah Janis: 🙄 fucking hell Janis: anyway, they've stopped talking about you and da has a job so don't be a dick Grace: like that'd stop him or you're concerned about anything he does Janis: like you are Janis: least I don't pretend to care so he'll drive me places Grace: 🙄 let it go, he's not answering Janis: probably on the phone to his actual favourite Janis: 💔 bummer Grace: Mhmm Janis: wouldn't say you're 10th on that one but definitely not 🥇 Grace: you're 10th, I'm 9th Janis: Nah, idiot Janis: the white kid was 10th, it's pretty obvious Janis: Junior's 9th 'cos he literally hated him so much from birth he had to bounce Janis: Billie is 2nd 'cos came back for her, Pablo's 3rd, Iggy's 4th, rest you lot can duke it out for 5,6,7 and I'll take 8th Grace: not now she's dead, she isn't 🙏✞💕 Grace: & Junior has to be higher up now so he can repent honey Janis: kid yourself he weren't relieved Janis: ain't no one but black grandma believe in that shit Janis: and that's just as a handy-dandy rule book for him #sparetherodspoilthechild #obviously Grace: he's kidding himself, doesn't matter what I think Janis: nah Janis: he's happy being cucked, clearly Janis: plus competition got lower once Carly pegged it Grace: 🤷 Janis: n'awh Grace: worry about yourself and getting Ollie out of the way now I'm stuck here Janis: why would I Grace: cos you're 😍💍💘 Janis: so? Janis: you can do one, idc where you are Grace: UM NO Grace: you can Janis: nah Janis: you've got no use for a bed rn Janis: piss off to your friend's room Grace: being a bitch isn't gonna help you here babes Janis: then stay Janis: see how much that helps you Grace: so twisted Janis: you're the one refusing to leave, apparently Janis: been warned Janis: 🤷 Grace: EW Janis: don't worry, maybe your fwightened lil virgin theory will finally pay off for you and you can feel better about your own sexual history at my expense Janis: 🤞 for you babes Grace: OMG stop being gross Grace: I don't wanna see what's all over my feed thank you Grace: I definitely don't need IRL access Janis: 😂 Janis: OK nan 👌👌 Janis: you've always been the definition of can dish it out but not take it Janis: poor boy(s) 💔 Grace: I've never fucked a boy in front of you Janis: there's a lot you ain't done but I've heard plenty about Janis: difference between us is I ain't all talk Janis: you'll have to fuck off then, won't you Grace: cos everything you've heard is the truth Grace: oh please Janis: I mean from YOUR mouth Janis: it's empowerment and ownership when you do it, and Rio can get it all out for everyone at the right price Janis: but nah, not me Janis: you wish I was half the virgin you reckon, then you'd have ONE thing over me, yeah? get a grip Grace: I repeat, I'm not doing it in front of your face, bitch Janis: I repeat, you try to tell EVERYONE how good you are in the sack 'cos you know there are 3 hotter sisters to choose from Grace: No I don't! Janis: it's pathetic, stop it Grace: You're being extra & if you need ME to tell you, stop it Janis: What's your edge then? Janis: go on Grace: why is everything a competition with you OMG Janis: because it is, always has been Janis: come on, this is your thing, what's your target demo, babe, who are YOU catering to? Janis: you wanna be a 2nd rate Ri forever, yeah, cool Grace: SHUT UP Janis: Exactly Grace: You want me to hate you, I do Grace: Let it go Janis: not how hate works Janis: you really got to thinking Edie might care 'cos she let up, gave it some time and space Janis: no chance Janis: you ain't gonna forget Grace: I'm not doing this with you rn Janis: nah, you ain't Janis: put your face on Grace: it's always on hun Janis: You look a state Janis: and he's coming over Janis: get over it Grace: He's not coming to see me Janis: Who is Janis: Never stopped you before Grace: freak out about him all you want Grace: directing it at me tho Grace: really Janis: why would I Janis: I know who I am, who I'm catering to Janis: I'm the effortless one Grace: sure Jan Janis: maybe you'll think of a better selling point one day Grace: maybe you'll stop being so closed off one day Janis: don't count on it, babe Janis: especially not tonight, yeah Grace: 🤞 he isn't Grace: easy to fake being a person for a few days, yeah? Janis: said as if you'd know Janis: doormat's easier to maintain, right Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: Yep Janis: thought so Grace: You think about me too much babes Grace: it's getting lowkey weird Janis: these convos might set your world alight but remember that big word I taught you Janis: yeah, that Grace: 👌 Janis: 👋 Grace: 🙌 Janis: forgetting you got no place to be? Grace: you've got somewhere, go Janis: I've told you, I'm not leaving Janis: very injured, like Grace: 💔 Grace: tragic tbh Janis: his thoughts exactly Grace: awks if they are Janis: only for you Grace: you too that he's figured you out that quick sweetie Janis: and you're sat there wasting your whole life? Janis: we knew you weren't the brightest but bless Grace: you're really seizing the day babes, how could I compete Janis: you couldn't Janis: maybe you'll win the genetic lottery in your next life Janis: be the best dungbeetle ever Grace: how #motivational Grace: love that Janis: it's too late to be optimistic about this life Janis: but I got faith in you there Grace: ILYSM obvs Janis: ew don't even pretend Janis: put me off, obvs Grace: obvs not Janis: 😂 you're precious Janis: if I knew all it'd take to get you to shut up was telling you about my exploits, I'd have started ages ago Grace: If you had any ages ago, sure Janis: oh babe Janis: really still going with that bit Janis: can't let it go, can you Grace: can't tell the truth, can you Janis: what would you know about that Janis: #fakeittilyoumakeit right babes? Grace: I mean, obvs don't tell him unless he's into that #duh Grace: some boys get lowkey weirder than you're being about it so Janis: again, what would you know Janis: no one's buying that for you Janis: can't have it both ways 💔 Janis: or either, if you're you 💔💔 Grace: I was once thank you Grace: that's how it works Janis: NO! 😱😱 Janis: you mean you didn't come out the womb so sexually empowered, colour me #shook Janis: it's so natural, you wear it so well Grace: IKR Janis: Oh God 😂 Grace: Ew don't give me a preview of your sex chat Janis: yeah, you would imitate bad porn Janis: you know boys mute that shit, yeah? Janis: as per, too fucking loud, Gracie Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: no one fucks with that fake shit Grace: thanks so much for your expert advice Janis: welcome, welcome Grace: obvs not Janis: all very obvs with you, obvs Grace: LOL Grace: fun chat babes Janis: as always Grace: g2g relearn all my bedroom techniques so like Janis: bit gross to do that with your pals Janis: can't say I'm surprised Janis: another porn-like trope Grace: literally so gross Janis: I said it first, darling Grace: 👏👏 Janis: have fun, ladies Grace: duh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: soz, they ain't my type, like Janis: shouldn't come as a surprise Grace: It doesn't Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌

2 notes · View notes

thesffcorner · 5 years ago

Text

Book Couples of 2019: Ranked

I stole this idea from Sam at ThoughtsOnTomes, and I’ve done it two years in a row. So why not keep the tradition going in the next decade too and rank all the couples from books I read in 2019.

Before we start, some ground rules:

SPOILERS AHEAD;

All of the couples are from books I read in 2019;

All the couples must be canon; they are only on the list if they are written as explicitly romantic;

Worst to Best, i.e. couples I liked the least to couples I liked the best.

Let’s go!

TERRIBLE TIER:

50. Erika and Michael from Corrupt by Penelope Douglass

Is anyone surprised that these two are the worst couple of the year? If you are, you must be new here.

This pairing has all the tropes I hate in literature: an abusive, possessive alpha male hero who treats the girl like shit, but it’s ok because he loves her. He’s also willing to destroy her life over his friends, who as far as he knows raped her, so that’s fun too. Oh, and also it takes for her to almost die for him to tell her he loves her. We stan an emotionally stunted idiot.

As for Erika, she’s entitled, dumb, naive and completely virginal, in spite of being in a committed long term relationship. She has no personality other than her unrequited 14 year old crush, but somehow she’s supposed to be smart and independent? Sure, Jan.

49. Joe and Beck from You, by Caroline Kepness:

I don’t think I need to explain to anyone why I hated these two. They are both pretentious, horrible people and I’d say they deserve each other, except no one deserves Joe, not even Beck.

48. Marcus, Maria and Saya from Deadly Class by Rick Remendeer:

2019 was a bad year for love triangles, which is a trope I’m not a huge fan of anyway, but man did this year make me hate it even more. As the first example we have Marcus, Maria and Saya, who are by far 3 of the most obnoxious characters I have ever had the displeasure of reading from.

First we have Maria, who is just ‘crazy’, because women be crazy y’all! She’s promiscuous, even though she has a boyfriend, who she then cheats on with Marcus, back-stabs her best friend over him, and then gets dropped like a potato when Marcus realizes he can sleep with Saya too.

There are some attempts in the latter volumes to give her some depth and explain why she was dating Dio to start with, but you know, I’d rather you had opened with that.

Marcus, outside of being the absolute worst person in existence, treats Maria poorly, talks shit about her behind her back, cheats on her, let’s her take the fall for stuff he and Saya did and in general doesn’t want to be with her, but stays because sex.

His relationship with Saya is even worse; they like the same shitty music, and are both horny. Also Saya is a horrible tsundere cliche, which is already annoying in anime and manga, even well written ones, let alone when an American writer tries to emulate it. Badly.

BAD TIER:

47. Mariko, Akira and Taro from Empress of All Seasons by Emiko Jean

The second love triangle on the list, and this one wins by being the dumbest, most underdeveloped one of the year.

Mariko was the character I liked the most, but her connection to both Akira and Taro was tenuous at best, and more than a little frustrating.

Akira gets put in the friend-zone, except not really because he actually is proactive and tries to show Mariko that he values her, but then the book forgets about him so we can develop Taro, who is somehow even worse. At least Akira had a connection to Mariko before he fell for her; Taro sees her and decides she’s the one because she talks back at him thinking he’s just an ordinary samurai, not the prince, a trope that needs to fuckin DIE. Not to mention his faster than Kylo Ren turn to the darkside.

46. Odessa, Evander and Mereday from Reign of the Fallen by Sarah Glenn Marsh:

The next triangle on this list, and this one hurts more because it actually had potential.

There is something really compelling about two women coming together to grieve the loss of a loved one, with the idea that Mereday has nursed a crush on Odessa since childhood, but because of social norms and her brother, she’s stayed away.

What we get instead is an uneven mess, where neither character feels like they are progressing at all, and a ton of contrivances as to why they won’t talk to each other, instead of building on the existing conflict of ‘Odessa’s boyfriend and Mereday’s brother is the same person, and he is dead’.

45. Poe, Auden and St Sebastian from A Lesson in Thorns, by Sierra Simone:

Speaking of potential, these 3.

This is one of those triangles where all 3 legs should be, and are written to be equal, but unfortunately, the author clearly liked the one I liked the least, the most.

I liked Auden and St Sebastian, wanted to find out what happened to make Auden treat St Sebastian the way he did, and why St Sebastian let him do it. I even liked the pull they felt for each other and the jealousy Poe brought up in them.

I also really liked Poe and St. Sebastian, their angst over being separated, their bonding over feeling like outsiders in Auden’s world, and the loss of their respective mothers.

The couple I liked least were Auden and Poe, which is the one Simone spent the most time on. I hated Auden’s entitlement, the blindness to his privilege, the unnecessary engagement to Delphine, and I likewise hated how horny Poe was 24/7 even when she’s supposed to be finding out what happened to her missing mother, which uh… is not good.

44. Arthur and Ben from What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertali:

I wasn’t a fan of this relationship from the start, because I just couldn’t stand Arthur as a character. Even though he improved, the relationship didn’t.

The two didn’t have any chemistry, they weren’t compatible, and Ben had rather serious issues he should have been solving, instead of jumping straight into a new relationship. Arthur also fixated on stupid shit like a box of stuff, which is appropriately immature, but didn’t make me root for them to succeed as a couple.

Also I hated the ending.

43. Penelope and Sam from Emergency Contact, by Mary H K Choi

In theory, these two would be in the meh tier, but what pissed me off about this relationship is how underdeveloped it was. Sam was a character who needed serious counselling and therapy, not a girlfriend, and Penelope was just an immature teenager. I didn’t root for them to get together, I rooted for them to get help.

42. Malachiasz and Nadezda from Wicked Saints, by Emily Duncan:

These two absolutely have to go to the bad tier, even though they had potential and worked with tropes I like.

I love the idea of a villain-hero romance; it can be done right, and the push and pull between power and control, light and dark, etc can be invigorating. This, was not that.

Firstly we don’t know that Malachiasz is a villain for most of this; at most we think he’s some kind of assassin, but considering the whole mission the characters are on is to destroy Kalyzin and kill the King, that’s not exactly damning. Second, what should be these characters’ conflict, their religious views isn’t at all explored and Nadezda falls for Malachiasz way too quickly for someone who has been indoctrinated from birth to kill people who do blood magic.

Also there’s a set up for a love triangle in book 2, and when will my suffering end.

41. Celine, Bastien and Grimaldi from The Beautiful, by Renee Ahdieh:

Speaking of love triangles, we have possibly the worst one I read this year, in that it wasn’t even properly established!

I had the same issues with Bastien as I did with Auden; he had no personality, other than being rich and handsome. He also does the whole ‘this woman talks back to me, so she must be the one’, which is strike 1 against him.

Celine was fine as a character, but her connection and love for Bastien felt unwarranted, considering both his behavior and everything she knows about him, not to mention it somehow felt rushed in a 500 page book.

Grimaldi I just plain hated. Him stepping in to pretend that he was Celine’s lover when she’s lost her memories and clearly doesn’t love him, but ESPECIALLY him deciding out of the blue that he loves her after he detains and humiliates her for his own amusement made me rage quit this series.

40. Daisy, Camila and Billy from Daisy Jones and the Six, by Taylor Jenkins Reid:

Yeah, I know it’s weird to put the couple(s) from a favorite book of the year in the bad tier, but I really, really didn’t like these pairings.

Billy and Camila were infuriating. I get that people like that exist but Camila was far too forgiving considering everything Billy put her through. Billy was trash.

I also hated the way Billy treated Daisy, and I was furious that she had to live with knowing what was happening between them for decades while he got to go home to his wife and pretend nothing happened. Yeah, this book hit a personal spot, read the review if you want more coherent thoughts.

39. Noam and Dara from the Fever King, by Victoria Lee:

I am genuinely shocked they are this close to the meh tier, because boy was I not a fan of them.

I wrote a really detailed review of this book, and all my issues with Noam and Dara, from their age gap, to the weird sexual politics, to substance abuse, and especially to Dara reading Noam’s mind for months without telling him anything. Their relationship made me uncomfortable, and that was without adding the third leg of this Godforsaken triangle which is Lehrer, a man who is like 100 years old.

But hey, I still want to know what goes down in book 2, so they get to close out the bad tier.

MEH TIER:

38. Runa and Indigo from The Boneless Mercies, by April Genevive Tucholke:

Runa was a great character, but this romance is barely worth mentioning. It’s introduced at the very end, and it’s underdeveloped.

37. Jack and the Village Girl from Down Among the Sticks and Bones, by Seanan McGuire:

I tried to look up the girl’s name, I really did, but I couldn’t find it and I don’t remember it. I also don’t have the book so I can’t check.

I don’t know what I expected from a book about Jack and Jill, but Jill killing Jack’s girlfriend because she was jealous of Jack is… well not it.

36. Lowen and Jeremy from Verity, by Colleen Hover:

I struggled with whether to put these two in the bad or the meh tier. On the one hand, I cared not one bit about their relationship, even after we discover that it’s founded on lies and an attempted murder. On the other, there was nothing inherently wrong with their interactions and they did care for one another, even if was painfully boring.

In the end, I decided that boredom is a meh trait so, meh tier it is.

35. Annaleigh and Cassius from House of Salt and Sorrows, by Erin A Craig:

Instalove, the couple.

There was some potential, with the whole not knowing when it’s the real Cassius and when it’s Kosamaris or the Trickster pretending to be him, but it’s barely taken advantage of. In the end it’s just another ‘we’ve known each other for a week, but let’s die for each other’ plot.

34. Mei and Kai from The Bride Test, by Hellen Hoang:

I really struggled where to put these two, because as individual characters, they were fine, great even. As a couple? Yikes.

I loved Mei and wanted her to be happy, but the secret she kept from Kai was genuinely horrible, and I still can’t believe that the book resolved it by just not addressing it until the very end.

Kai was fine, not nearly as developed or likable as Mei, but the way he treated Mei in parts of this book were horrific, even if he struggles with expressing feelings and boundaries.

I ended up placing them in the meh tier, because at least they were never malicious to each other, which is more than can be said for the couples in the bad and terrible tier.

33. Rachel and Delphine from A Lesson in Thorns, by Sierra Simone:

These two get to be in the meh, not the bad purely because I actually understood their dynamic. I really liked the idea of Delphine discovering her sexuality, both in women and in BDSM, and overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own body and desires.

I also liked seeing Rachel realize that she had actual feelings for Delphine and having to deal with them. Too bad I’ll never get to find out how their relationship will pan out, cause fuck this series.

32. Stevie and David from Truly Devious, by Maureen Johnson:

These two were perfectly fine, even interesting at points, until the ending, which made me so angry that they get to squat in the meh tier.

Also Stevie going through David’s stuff? Not cool.

31. Yen and Vu Con from In the Vanisher’s Palace, by Aliette DeBodard:

The dynamic between these two was more than a little uneven, with the constant threat of murder and the knowledge that Yu would never be able to go home and see her mother, which is enough for me to resent any character no matter how cool of a dragon she is.

But… that human-dragon sex scene. Wildest thing I’ve read all year.

30. Henry and Diego from We Are the Ants, by Shaun David Hutchinson:

While I liked the book a lot, Henry and Diego were… not great. Diego was a character that at points came off more unreal than the aliens, from his wildly dramatic life story, to him not going to jail at the end, and his limitless patience when it came to Henry. Truly a manic pixie dream boy.

29. Olive and Ethan from the Un-honeymooners, by Christina Lauren:

This couple would have been in the great tier, had it not been for the last third of the book. Ethan not believing Olive, telling her that she’s jealous and dramatic for wanting to warn her sister that his brother is a cheater, and then making up for it with a stupid, grandiose gesture instead of, actually talking to her and learning his lesson? Nah, we don’t stan that kind of manipulative behavior in this house. The only reason they are in the meh tier is because they really were cute the rest of the book.

28. Isobel and Julio from An Alchemy of Masques and Mirrors, by Curtis Craddock:

Not much to say about them, mostly because they met in the last third of the book. I would take a bullet for Isobel, and judging by the blurb for book 2, Julio might have beat me to it, so he gets to be in the meh.

27. Emily and Haskel from Passing Strange, by Ellen Klages:

Like Mei and Kai, I liked these two as separate characters more than as a couple. It’s not that there weren't any chemistry between them, it’s that they weren’t developed enough for me to care. If this were a longer work instead of a novella, they’d probably be higher.

26. Jonas and Florian from The Monster of Elendhaven, by Jennifer Giesbrecht:

I liked the idea of this relationship more than the execution. Jonas being horny 24/7 for Florian’s dainty wrists was understandable, but Florian being sad that Jonas isn’t his dead twin sister… less so.

However this does get points for having the strangest sex scene in any book I’ve read this year; yeah even stranger than the one in Gideon the Ninth.

OK TIER:

25. Ruby and Dov from The Wise and the Wicked, by Rebecca Podos:

While I didn’t love the book, Ruby and Dov were fine. I appreciated the trans rep, I liked the way their relationship developed and the oddball humor the characters shared, and I thought they were cute together.

24. Lila and Cassel from the Curse Workers Series, by Holly Black:

Lila and Cassel grew on me substantially between White Cat and the rest of the series. I liked the angst in Red Glove because of Lila being worked and I liked the rod trip they get to go on at the end of Black Heart.

23. Aurora and Kal from Aurora Rising, by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman:

There is nothing wrong with Aurora or Kal, even their bonding/imprinting thing reminded me too much of Twilight/Avatar.

They do have cute scenes together, but I’m just not a fan of the alpha male, macho boy ‘protecting’ the girl and deciding for her what he will do with their relationship. There’s room for improvement, is what I’m trying to say.

22. All the couples from the Witchlands Series, by Susan Dennard:

I was originally going to split these up in different tiers, but seeing as it’s been exactly a year since I read these books, and I don’t remember much about these couples, they all get to go in the OK tier.

First we have Ryber and Kullen from Sightwitch. I liked Kullen’s humor, which contrasted well with Ryber’s seriousness and diligence, but there’s very little of them as an actual couple. I hope we get to see them again in Bloodwitch.

Aeduin and Iseult were also fine. I know they feature more prominently in Bloodwitch, but what little we get from them in Truthwitch and Windwitch was some solid set up for a good Ben/Rey, Zuko/Katara type relationship.

Safi and Merik are my favorite, but that’s only because I love Safi. Merik is the weaker part of this duo, though I do enjoy their banter, and the scene in Truthwitch where they dance and start levitating was amazing.

21. Sam Cade and Gina from Stillhouse Lake, by Rachel Caine:

I was really surprised by how much I still like these two as a couple. The only reason they aren’t higher, is because they don’t stay a couple by the end of the book.

I genuinely loved how tender and slow their relationship developed, and how much character development Cade got to get to it. Him bonding with Gina’s kids, was super sweet and the scene where he asks Gina if he can kiss her warmed my shriveled heart.

GOOD TIER:

20. Frey and King Roth from The Boneless Mercies, by April Genevive Tucholke:

I think the theme for the good category is my surprise at how much certain couple stuck with me. When I read the book, I wasn’t thrilled with Frey and Roth, because a different romance for Frey had been built up.

But now, a year later, I still remember their scenes, especially the one where Roth tells Frey he is writing an epic about her, and asks her to come back to him. Good sh*t.

19. Kate and Shepherd from This Is Our Story, by Ashley Elston:

I was surprised at how much I liked these two as a couple. They were supportive and cute, while also dealing with some serious issues and angst. The ending was a bit dramatic, but the scene where Kate likes a 4 year old picture of Shep on instagram by accident SPOKE TO MY SOUL.

18. Grier and Shafeen from STAGS by M A Bennett:

This is another pairing that surprised me with how much I liked them. The book claimed that Henry was charming, but Shafeen was the real charmer, and I could actually believe that he is a gentleman who went to private school.

Grier was a bit dim, and more than a little naive, but I liked how she got through the huntin’ shootin’ an’ fishin.

17. Levi and Enne from Ace of Shades, by Amanda Foody:

I loved these two and they had great chemistry and banter, but they aren’t yet an official couple so I can’t really justify putting them any higher than good.

The scene where Enne plays for Levi’s life? Amazing.

16. Harrow and Gideon from Gideon the Ninth, by Tamsyn Mur:

I wanted them to be in the great tier, but they just weren’t.

I loved Gideon; she was funny, a true himbo. But Harrow? I hated her for about the first 300 pages of the book. And when I finally stopped hating her, they had that weird bath sex scene and then Gideon DIED.

So I can’t put them any higher knowing that I liked only 20% of their actual relationship.

15. Cat and Tyler from Aurora Rising, by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman:

Cat and Tyler? Now that’s some good sh*t.

I am a sucker for the captain and his/her pilot pairing, especially if one of them is a smooth talking pretty boy and the other a daredevil always ready to fight. These two were excellent, not just in their chemistry and banter, but also in the angst because what kept them apart actually made sense.

I love that Cat broke a chair off of Tyler’s head when they met, Anne of Green Gables style, but I also love the scene where they first got together at the bar. Chef’s kiss.

14. Sebastian and Emir from Running with Lions, by Julian Winters:

Seb and Emir were really close to making the great tier, but there were just too many contrived reasons to keep them apart.

I liked the slow build from enemies to friends to lovers, but I just wish we had gotten more time on the lovers section without unnecessary drama keeping them apart.

13. Poppy and Cerenic from Sleepless, by Sarah Vaughn:

I freaking love Poppy and Cerenic, and they would have been in the great tier, had it not been for the rushed ending.

They were still excellent together; supportive, trusting and caring, and that scene where Cerenic kisses Poppy so she can’t put him to sleep? God tier.

GREAT TIER:

12. Mia and Grace from On a Sunbeam, by Tillie Walden:

I loved how cute and realistic, Mia and Grace’s relationship was, which a wild thing to say for a series set in space. I loved their friendship, how it slowly became a romance, the heartbreaking way they split apart and then found each other again.

The only reason they aren’t higher on the list is because they don’t end the comic as a couple, which works perfect for the story, but less so for my, uh, list of couples.

11. Millie and Flora from Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins:

I am a sucker for the stuck up snob falls for the earthy dumbass, and Flora and Millie were exactly that. They were a really cute couple; I liked the discussion of homophobia in the royal family, letting someone else define your life and the overall way the two of them got together. I also appreciated Millie being the one to fuck up and doing everything she could to fix her mistakes.

10. Daisy and Miles from Prince Charming by Rachel Hartman:

Daisy and Miles beat Millie and Flora just because reading their banter put tears in my eyes. I don’t think I’ve laughed out loud at any other book like I did this one.

There were so many great moments in this book, starting from Big Bird Hat to Sebastian getting punched by Alex, but the scene I love the most was the scene between Miles and Daisy in the cabin.

9. Severin and Laila from The Gilded Wolves, by Roshani Chokshi:

The amount of angst and sexual tension Laila and Severin have makes me wonder if this book perhaps should have been an adult.

I like both characters on their own, though I’m always a sucker for the trope of two competent and smart people making the other an absolute fool just by being in the same room as them.

I would have put them higher, but I just hate the way this book ended. Though since I’m mentioning scenes that were great… the dance. If you know you know.

8. Jack Zimmerman and Bitty from Check, Please! By Ngozi Ukazu:

Jack and Bitty are too cute for words. I love the way their relationship developed, I love their dynamic, how positive their relationship is while also dealing with real world issues, like families and gossip magazines.

Also this comic is amazing and free, go read it.

7. Hypnos, Zofia and Enrique from The Gilded Wolves, by Roshani Chokshi:

I didn’t know that my perfect pairing is where every character is Jonathan from the Mummy, but I guess that’s my jam.

Enrique and Zophia using their skills in math, languages and history to solve riddles together was great and hilarious, especially Enrique antagonizing Zofia just to see her reaction.

Hypnos is my favorite character and the banter between him and Enrique was excellent; I’m always a sucker for smooth-talking rich, misunderstood anti-heroes with tragic backstories (ahem, Lando, ahem). If this is to be a love triangle with one pairing at the end, I really don’t know who I’m rooting for.

6. Zara, Beatriz and Nadim from the Honors Series, by Rachel Caine and Ann Aguire:

Finally, some good fuckin food.

This love triangle fed me. It was the only one that was properly developed and established, I loved all 3 characters in it, and they all complimented each other amazingly.

Zara is a great lead, I really loved her journey; I would die for Nadim, though I’d probably have to fight Zara for that because her commitment to him was so wonderful. I also really love how slowly and carefully Beatriz was introduced as a love interest, and how well balanced the three of them are. Can’t wait to see what happens in Honor Lost.

5. Bri and Curtis from On the Come Up, by Angie Thomas:

Listen, their banter alone was enough to make me root for them. Also Curtis saved Bri from a freaking SWAT team so like… what more do I need to say.

They were just super cute and entertaining ok?

GOD TIER:

4. Nax and Ryan from The Disasters, by M K Englnd:

The only couple that came close to making me laugh as much as Miles and Daisy, except I related to Nax way more as the bisexual disaster he is.

I loved the way Nax’s always on the edge of a panic attack, and yet somehow still so charming personality was complemented by Ryan’s cool calm and collected demeanor, and their banter was hilarious.

I especially enjoyed Nax’ inner monologues, and the scene where they have to hide in a herd of goats had me in stitches.

3. Neil and Andrew from All for the Game Trilogy, by Nora Sakavic:

People should learn how to write an angsty slowburn from this series.

Andrew is an absolute piece of shit and Neal definitely deserved better, but I am not about to sit here and tell you that the scene where Andrew let Neal put his hand on his chest and Neal didn’t move it, didn’t send me into a weeklong crisis.

2. Rachel and Sana from Tell Me How You Really Feel, by Aminah Mae Safi:

Sana and Rachel were like two halves of my own personality and yet somehow infinitely cooler than I’ll ever be. Their romance was an excellent homage to every great teen rom-com, and I loved every page of it.

Sana was amazing; I loved her personality, the way she stood up for herself and dealt with problems. I also loved that for once the more feminine of the duo was the one who took charge of the relationship.

The only gripe I have with Rachel was that she finished the film before the screening, like hello, ex-film student here: I call bs.

1. Alex and Henry from Red White & Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston:

Was there any doubt here? Henry and Alex were hands down the best written couple of 2019. Not only were both individual characters fleshed out and so well developed, their relationship, going from enemies, to beruging friends, crushes, and finally lovers willing to upheave international politics was amazing to read about.

Alex Claremont Diaz is my favorite character of the year and maybe even top 5 of all time, and if you haven’t read this book, read it. It will make you a happier person.

And there you have it, 50 couples ranked. Happy reading in 2020!

#book couples 2019 #book couples #reading #moni talks

1 note · View note

sailingsoo · 6 years ago

Text

November Overview

Monthly Drama Review: November 2018 Jan - Feb - Mar - Apr - May - Jun - Jul - Aug - Sep - Oct

warning spoilers!

Completed:

The Third Charm: If you’ve seen my recent posts, you know how upset I am with this show. What started as a cute romantic comedy turned into a heavy angst drama. I understand that the title is “the third charm,” but the way they treated their female characters mostly Young Jae was terrible. Someone also said this, but if they just focused on Young Jae’s perspective as much as they did with Joon Young maybe more people would be able to empathize with her like what people did with Joon Young. Young Jae lost her parents, her only family AKA her older brother became disabled, her boyfriend neglected her despite reassuring him multiple times, she lost her child, got divorced, her best friend got diagnosed with cancer, and people are upset that she called Joon Young in the middle of the night. She had no one to rely on. If this happened to any of my past friends, I would not mind at all. All in all, love triangles suck and Young Jae, Joo Ran, and Se Eun deserved better than what this show put them through.

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes: The relief I got when they were revealed not to be siblings. I almost thought too with the way things were going! I feel like if I wasn’t so focused on that part, I would have enjoyed a bit more. Every time Jin Kang and Moo Young were together I would think they were cute then remember the Japanese version ugh. Nonetheless, I’m satisfied.

Room No. 9: This was an entirely well thought out show and I really recommend everyone to watch it. What I wanted the most though were Jang Hwa Sa and Eulji Hae Yi working together moments, but the last few episodes definitely made up for it. The transition, although not quick, Eulji Hae Yi makes from being a selfish lawyer to kind human being is beautiful. I didn’t expect much of a romance in this drama, but I was not disappointed, Ki Yoo Jin is a great character and a great influence on Eulji Hae Yi. I cannot stress enough how amazing an actor One is, his character was one of the most interesting and I hope to see him with a bigger role the next drama he does. Also props to the actors that played the younger versions of Jang Hwa Sa and Chu Young Bae, they were beautiful. Definitely one of my 2018 favorites.

Kahogo no Kahoko (Overprotected Kahoko): I need everyone to watch this drama. Kahoko, a 21 year old university student is overprotected by her parents. Her mother does everything for her (to even deciding her outfits), while her dad just lets it happen though he knows its wrong. A guy who is the total opposite of her, tells her how she can’t be reliant on her family and that’s when she starts learning about herself and what she really wants. Her mother doesn’t really change in the end, but you can see that Kahoko has matured and can actually speak for herself. It teaches you about family and how it’s important to be independent. Definitely one of my favorites, wish I watched it earlier. Get tissues though, I cried for about five episodes straight and in the movie too!

Ongoing:

My Only One: These family dramas have to be the most infuriating things ever. Once you think something is going right, they go back to square one. I have a feeling that Dae Ryook’s family might try to find Do Ran’s birth parents and when they do they’ll go back to square one ughhh. Also for some reason, I’m becoming more interested in Mi Ran’s love story with the dentist.

Dae Jang-Geum is Watching: I’m gonna be honest, most of this drama is cringe but Yuri and the food are worth it. The younger sister and the trainee are cute and can’t wait to see their story form.

Fluttering Warning: I don’t know how I missed this drama despite it staring ultimate girl crush Yoon Eun Hye, but I love it so much. This is exactly what I needed after being disappointed by The Third Charm. The male lead isn’t obsessive like the male lead in the Third Charm. So far its really good, and I would recommend this to kpop fans since it deals with South Korean standards on entertainment (mostly when it comes to dating).

The Last Empress: For some reason I thought the emperor was the male lead and was kind of shocked when I thought Jang Na Ra’s character would be with him, but I reread the plot and I’m glad that’s not the case. The villains in this story are such great actors. Shin Sung Rook is a natural while Lee Elijah is stunning with her character glad I get to see her again.

Clean With a Passion For Now: It feels refreshing seeing a new female lead. She’s amazing too, she kind of reminds me of a younger Lee Sung Kyung! The first two episodes were funny, so I’ll try to keep going with this drama.

SKY Castle: Oof I was originally going to drop this, but then I checked what other people were saying about it and was met with lots of good reviews. The people weren’t wrong, I binged the first four episodes and I need more. Definitely for students and parents (mostly students who are pressured by their parents when it comes to education). It says comedy, but there are a lot deeper meanings that make the whole thing enticing.

Encounter: I still haven’t watched the first episode, but I will! This month got a little busy with exams and everything.

Dropped

Children of Nobody/Red Moon Blue Sun: I was going to watch this, but I didn’t want to watch anything super intense.

Top Star Yoo Baek: Watched the first episode, didn’t like it that much.

Feels Good to Die: Not a fan of office dramas.

Mama Fairy and the Woodcutter: The plot is a little weird to me sorry.

Priest

Bad Detective

Upcoming:

My Strange Hero: I looveee Yoo Seung Ho despite not liking the robot drama he did. I also took a liking to Jo Bo Ah when I watched Goodbye to Goodbye. The plot sounds interesting as well. Definitely watching!

Just Dance: Not something I would normally watch, but it looks like it’ll be about friendship and teamwork.

Fate and Fury: I want to check this one out!

Memories of Alhambra: It’s funny cause I used to live in a city called Alhambra lol. Anyways, another drama taking place overseas. Looking at the teasers, they seem interesting. I want to try watching this.

Less Than Evil: I’m kind of tired of detective drams right now, so I probably won’t watch.

#it's almost been a year i can't believe i actually kept up with this #i mean i was a bit late here and there but thats okay #the third charm #the smile has left your eyes #room no. 9 #tvn room no. 9 #tvn room nine #my only one #my only ally #dae jang geum is watching #fluttering warning #love alert #the last empress #clean with a passion for now #sky castle #encounter #dramaland thoughts

0 notes

rueur · 8 years ago

Text

Morning Pages #18 (24.01.2017)

Tuesday 24th Jan - 8:37 a.m.

I think I’ll need to go and pick up some more of Bruno’s dry food because it’s completely finished now, and he still seems hungry even after some treats and a larger helping of his wet food. The issue is, that Emily left me $600 and for some weird reason, I only have about $200 left. Wait, let me check to make absolutely sure. I have $280 left, and when I buy the cat food that’ll probably go down to $250, and I’m not entirely sure I remember what I even spent that much money on! Where in the world did $400 go in a little over a month? I mean, I remember buying groceries maybe at least three times, so that’s like $60, some books and things for Christmas so...$20. That’s only $80 though. I didn’t even spend that much money on the nights I went out. Maybe all up I spent like $40 out. That’s $120. I spent exactly $21 at the op-shop and I only went to one op-shop. I have no idea where all that money actually went and it’s kind of really really frustrating. My myki fares?? My mobile. That’s $170, but we’re not even halfway to what I’ve actually spent. This is actually infuriating. Oh, $15 on a movie, $5 on the Panettone for Ikaros and I. $190. Plus, myki fares, probably like $240 or quite easily more than that. Mykis are so expensive and in hindsight, I feel I should’ve gotten a pass while I was staying here. $25 for my dinner with Evan, so $265. There’s still about $50-$70 unaccounted for. Oh damn, I’m not even paying rent and bills here and I’ve blown through nearly $400 in a month. I should’ve been keeping a book or something full of my spendings. See, I thought I was quite a thrifty person, but evidently I’ve indulged myself whilst being on holiday. And I still really feel like I haven’t indulged myself at all! I’ve been keeping myself super busy since I’ve moved here. $5 for lunches with Dan and Lucas, $275. This is honestly doing my head in, I have to stop.

I think I’ll definitely need to study and work again. I’ve only got under $800 left to live off of this year, and that’s going to go in no time. I won’t be able to buy clothes, I think. I’ll need to invest very responsibly in which months I’ll get a myki pass. Oh, $16 for bottles of wine. $291. We can round that up to $300. We’re getting closer now to figuring it all out. $20 left, but I can probably write that off to my myki as well. Public transport is draining me, honestly. $4 a day just to get anywhere, I mean I might as well have just stayed in Northcote this entire time. It was even my main expense for most of these last two years, commuting back and forth between the city and South Morang. I spent more money on my myki than I did on my school books, on my food, on myself in general.

I just found the photo that Evan and I posed for the night we were at Laundry. Oh lord, my face. I have so much cheek skin, it’s ridiculous. And my smile is lopsided, and my teeth look menacingly sharp. I’m pretty sure I saw the photographer grimace when he saw the photo pop up on his camera too. My face has been looking more and more menacing as of late, I think. It used to be soft and inviting, but since I’ve lost weight I feel like it’s gotten sharper and more pointed, direct. Except for my nose! My nose is so fat, I have a fucking island nose. And I am allowed to say that because it’s true, my nose is from an island. Also, my skin looks white through the mesh of the hoodie. Evan looks good though. His head’s tilted upwards, he’s got a hand on my shoulder. I feel like he knows how to pose for these quick shots, I feel like he’s had a lot more experience clubbing than I have. I’d say he definitely does. His parents seem to be a lot more rational and a lot less strict than mine.

I went home yesterday for about an hour and the whole time, my parents were on their computer watching videos. My mum disappeared upstairs at one point and I found her sleeping in bed. I tried to talk to her about myself but she just kept saying what she wanted to say, didn’t listen to me at all. In my frustration with her, I ended up just telling her straight out that I went clubbing. She lost her shit. She started yelling and it was impossible to get a word in, all I did was just get up and walk away. I don’t know if I’ll go back home until I absolutely have to now. Thankfully, my dad was downstairs and he had about twenty minutes to talk to me. We spoke about how I went clubbing, what it was like, and my potentially going again. He said he was relatively fine with it, even though he didn’t agree with it. My parents need to understand that at this point, I’m going to blame them more for not letting me have experiences rather than blame them for not stopping me from having bad experiences, because under their guidance I have done very well to have only lived a very very tiny amount. I told my dad that, and he seemed sympathetic to that. I think he’s also closer to understanding that we’re growing up in different times than my mum is. My mum basically called me a slut again twice during my three minute conversation with her. She basically told me not to move as fast with Evan as I did with Ikaros, and then also called me disgusting for going clubbing. I tried to tell her that I didn’t even move that fast with Ikaros at all. It was only two months into knowing him that I kissed him, and we only started having sex five months into knowing each other too. In terms of relationships, Ikaros and I really started off at a glacial pace. Evan and I have been moving faster if anything. I kissed him the night I met him. If only I had that kind of courage the night I met Ikaros. Funnily enough though, both guys were drunk on the same night and I was painfully sober.

Another thing is the assertion of both my parents and Ikaros that I drink too much, just because I like to drink alone on occasion. If anything, I think it’s safer to drink alone at home than it is to drink outside with a whole bunch of people you either don’t know, or can’t really rely on because they’re drinking too. I’ve also never gotten blind drunk, I’ve never blacked out, I’ve only puked once and that was straight away because of the taste and not because of the quantity. Both Ikaros and my dad have gotten alcohol poisoning and I never have, and they can say that I drink too much? It’s a double standard, honestly. Just because I’m a young lady, I honestly think it’s just because I’m a small, young lady and they just think it’s abnormal to see me with alcohol. I don’t want to invite that kind of perception of me. I mean, I know my parents undoubtedly will at any or every given opportunity (because they’re my parents and it’s their job to belittle me), but my boyfriend has no excuse.

Oh, another thing. Vanessa and Ryan broke up, or so I’ve heard, which is insane. They’ve been together for over four years at this point, I’m fairly certain. They were together when I was in Year 12 with Vanessa. They have always been the ultimate power couple to me. Ikaros and I always felt kind of paltry in comparison whenever we hung out with them. And now it turns out that they’re going through exactly the same stuff that we’ve been going through lately! I always felt bad that Ikaros and I would ruin the ‘Power couples’ chat we had going on Facebook, but it turns out it was being simultaneously ruined by all four of us. It’s so weird. It’s like nothing is constant anymore; I feel like my parents have called it quits right now. Though that would never happen, because my parents have a really good marriage and I know this because a psychic told them so.

I told my dad that the main reasons I don’t think it’ll work with Ikaros are first of all, that he can’t give me any real response to my art which is a massive dealbreaker. Being a writer and working in this creative field is a tough position to willingly put oneself in. My professional future is going to be riddled with rejection and there will be demoralisation at every turn. I need a partner who will support me creatively even when the world cannot. I just need that, and it’s painful just knowing that Ikaros can’t give that to me, but I have a feeling it would be infinitely more painful down the line when it actually happens. If I see something that devastating becoming a more than potential reality, I should nip it in the bud, right? Evan’s a reader, too. And talking to him, and to Lucas, it just makes sense that I should be with someone who likes reading. A writer with someone who likes to read, I mean if that ain’t a match made in heaven. The night I met Evan I told him that there are more writers now than there are readers. Even Ikaros had a go at writing, working on that comic with Cameron. Some people will set out to create content without supporting anybody else. The industry is oversaturated with creators, and fewer consumers. To keep up the illusion that I’m not working in vain until the day comes that I’m legitimately successful and actually NOT working in vain, I should have the close support of a ‘consumer’/reader. Evan actually once referred to himself as an ‘aspiring consumer’, during our date.

Secondly, Ikaros is a devout believer in divorce. The marriages in his family have not been good. The women in his family have been borderline insane, and so the men always end up leaving them. Hearing all of his stories of family woe, I’ve always been semi-terrified that he’ll just decide that I’m insane in the future and end up leaving me too. I don’t want that to be my future, but you can’t ignore patterns when they’re right there in front of you. I’m not too fond of the idea of marriage itself, but I think that if you let yourself enter a marriage, you should be committed to it for life. You should respect that commitment FOR LIFE. Because that is the definition of marriage. Divorces were only invented by arrogant royalty, kings who wanted multiple wives. It’s ridiculous that divorce is actually a thing. When I get married, it’s going to be forever.

#morning pages #18 #24.01.2017

0 notes