#it is everything i could ever want from an id song

[terraether]

i was just listening to covers of imagine dragons songs and it gives context to just HOW powerful Dan Reynold’s vocals are, how dynamic, how strong, and unique. I mean, we all know this, i’ve posted about how every concert i’ve been to, his POWER blows me away. Every. Time. because it’s that polarizing!!

But listening to covers of Enemy and Natural just highlight it all the more. And I don’t want to discredit the artist, it takes a lot of courage and talent to cover imagine dragons’ vocally intense songs, and Natural and Enemy are both very intense. The artist does a good job, but it is nothing in comparison to Dan, especially as a decades-long fan of imagine dragons (can’t believe i can say that holy SHIT)

[1980ssunflower]

I'm so fucking in love w them I swear to god it makes me lightheaded gdhfsjk

[plomegranate]

i love palestinian and arab culture so much.

my grandma wearing thobes around the house and making us tamriyeh. my cousins wedding when we all wore thobes and keffiyehs and took photos downtown and we danced with someone playing the guitar on the street and this lady stopping us to tell us we all looked so beautiful. walking the graduation stage in a thobe. the girl who liked to guess arab peoples ethnicities telling me "you're wearing tatreez... do you want me to write 'palestinian' on your forehead?" the keffiyeh my brother keeps on the drivers seat of his car.

my dad sending me off to my last semester of college with 2 pomegranates and a jar of palestinian olive oil. my cousins wife coming up with new ways to make zaatar and cheese pastries. me and my grandma sitting on the floor and making waraq 3neb- my job was to separate the leaves so she could roll them easier. my mom sending me and my brother to school with eid cookies for my teachers and tasking us with delivering some to the neighbors. my aunt glaring at me and piling more food on my plate and then asking if i was still hungry (i wasnt). my mom always telling me to invite my friends and cousins over for dinner and asking me what they like to eat. my family getting my dad knafeh instead of cake for his birthday. the man who told me i made the "best fetteh in the western hemisphere".

the man in the shawarma shop who gave me my fries for free and baklava i didnt order because we spoke about being palestinian while he took my order. the person on tumblr who i bonded with because we are from the same palestinian city. the girl i met on campus who exclaimed "youre palestinian? me too!" because i was wearing my keffiyeh. the girl in my class that showed me the artwork about palestine her dad made and donated for fundraising. the couple in the grocery store who noticed my palestinian shirt and talked with me for 20 minutes and ended up being a family friend. the silly palestinian kids i tutored sighing in disappointment when i told them i was born in america because they were hoping that id have been born "somewhere cooler". my friends family who bought me dinner despite me being there by chance and having met me for the first time the day before.

the boys starting uncoordinated dabke lines in my high school's hallways. the songs about the longing and love for our land. the festivals and parties and gatherings where everything smells like shisha and oud. memories of waiting in the car for an hour as my parents talked at the doorway of their friends homes. my cousins and i showing up at each others homes with cake or fruit or games as if it was the first time we ever visited even though we always say "you dont have to".

kids stubbornly helping to clean and make tea after a meal while being told to go sit down because they are guests. the necklaces in the shape of our home countries. people hugging and laughing and acting as if theyve known each other for years because they come from the same city or know people with the same last name. the day i finally got to bully my friends into letting me pay the bill because i had a job and they were still students. my moms friend who calls us every time she's at the grocery store to see if we need something

palestinian people are so resilient and hardworking and charitable. they love their culture and their community and are so quick to share and welcome anyone in. everyday i am so thankful and proud to be part of such a warm and lovely culture

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

I Miss You, I’m Sorry || Tom Blyth x Singer!Reader

Summary: In which after your break up with Tom, you write a song about him and fans start to speculate that it is about the two of you.

Warning: swearing, kinda toxic Tom?

Wc: 1,123

A/n: someone asked if I would do a Sabrina Carpenter x Tom fic but I thought I’d do it with Gracie Abrams instead bc I absolutely love her <3 (I don’t mention Gracie, it’s still an x reader)

Tom Blyth x singer!reader au masterlist

Divider by @pommecita

Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you?

You squeal in excitement. You had just dropped your first ever album. “I’m so proud of you, my darling,” Tom hugs you tightly as he kisses your hair. “Thank you,” You says against his ear.

That night, the two of you stayed home, ordered pizza and drank wine in each other’s arms. Tom was so incredibly proud of you, he knew the hardships you faced that year when composing the songs and everything else that was going on in life.

You felt so blessed to have had Tom by your side during the particularly rough year. “I love you,” You whisper, your breathe fanning Tom’s neck as he pulls you closer to him. “I love you more,” He whispered back as you smiled.

Then all of a sudden, you're sick to your stomach, Is that still true?

Tom felt sick in the stomach knowing what he had done. It was a simple drunken mistake that he could never forgive himself. He cheated on you. He could never forget how he absolutely shattered your pure heart, all because of his drunken actions.

You said, "Forever, " in the end I fought it, Please be honest, are we better for it?

“I will forever love you, y/n.” He says against your lips before kissing you. You melt into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck as you bring him closer to you.

“You said you’d love me forever Tom- I-I don’t understand why’d you would do this-“ You furrow your eyebrows as tears had blurred up your vision. “I’m so sorry y/n, please-“ He tries to say as his hand touches your arm but you pull away from him, too hurt, too broken.

Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called and said, "I miss you", I caught it

You pick at your fingernails as your leg bounces up and down. You were sat at your desk, alone in the house. It had been a month since you broke up with Tom. And you couldn’t help but think about him every single day.

He was your everything. You couldn’t just get him out of your head that quickly. You flinch at the sound of your phone going off, buzzing on the table as you turn your phone over revealing his name on the caller id.

You stare at it for a few seconds, contemplating. “Hello?” Your voice was quiet as you hear a silence on the other end. “Tom? Are you there-“ “I miss you,” You hear him say, his voice just as shaky as yours; you bite your trembling lip, trying so hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to come out.

Good to each other, give it the summer, I knew you too

Little did you know that that summer was going to be your last one spent with Tom. He hadn’t told you that he had cheated on you yet, but you felt a shift.

You felt a change that you tried to ignore the best you could until you couldn’t handle it anymore.

But I only saw you once in December. I'm still confused.

You saw him once in December. That was all. You didn’t know why he was ignoring you and being so distant.

You said, "Forever, " and I almost bought it. I miss fightin' in your old apartment

“Forever.” What a fucking lie. “Why are you being so fucking distant towards me!” You yell, walking into his apartment as he slams the door behind him. “I’m not! I’ve been busy with my own fucking life y/n” He screams back as you both stare at each other.

“You could still try and make an effort Tom! I’m your girlfriend!” You storm up to him, finger pointing at him as he shoves your hand away from him, walking away without saying a word. “Don’t walk away from me-“ You shout as you follow him upstairs, “I don’t want to talk right now,” He seethes, slamming his bedroom door on your face.

You stand there as you scoff. You lift your hand up to knock but figured it would be no use, so, you walked back downstairs, grabbed your things and left.

Breakin' dishes when you're disappointed, I still love you, I promise

“Why-Why couldn’t you just tell me y/n,” He pulls at his hairs as you sat on the couch, knees to your chin as you look down on the ground. “I didn’t know how to,” You say quietly, not sure if he heard you.

“Y/n,” He sternly says as you look meet his angry eyes, “I said, I didn’t know how to tell you-“ smash. You flinch, gasping at the noise of mug smashing into little bits. Tears started flowing down your cheeks as you bury your head in your arms, sobbing.

Tom breathes heavily as he realises what he’s done. “Fuck,” He walks to you on the couch, his hand softly touching your hair as he listens to you sob. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry y/n,” He whispers he sits beside you, placing a gentle kiss on your arm.

“Please forgive me, darling,” He cooed. His anger got the better of him. You look at him, teary eyed. He wore an apologetic look on his face as you cry even harder, sitting on his lap as he hugs you tight, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

Nothin' happened in the way I wanted. Every corner of this house is haunted

You stand in the living room of your house. Eyes puffy from crying, and a bag in hand with your things that you collected from Tom’s place. Looking around the place gave you flashbacks of you and Tom.

You got this house soon after you started dating Tom nearly 4 years ago now. There were so many memories made here and you couldn’t stop thinking about them.

And I know you said that we're not talkin', But I miss you, I'm sorry

You felt somewhat guilty for missing him. After all, he was the one who cheated on you. Tom told you it would be better to go our seperate ways and limit interactions with each other as much as possible.

It still hurt. Waking up and knowing your relationship with Tom ended. The one person you could confide to was no longer there for you. The one person who knew how to cheer you up after a rough day wasn’t by your side anymore.

The one person who would travel with you around the world for concerts, and if he couldn’t, he would make sure to face time you every day no matter how early or late it was for him.

[disgustingtwitches]

**MDNI**

"The closest to heaven we'll ever get"

Saw a lot of stuff about Simon helping out a s*x worker. Anyways, it reminded me of a personal experience I had so... Here I am 😃

5.5k words

*This is kind of Simon needing company and being a weirdo who needs constant validation.

Not gonna lie, it gets blasphemous at the end!

~

I always played around with the idea of being an escort. I was offered to do things while working in the strip club, but I always turned it down. I was spending every dollar I made because I could always make more, right? But when I broke up with my ex and realized I didn't have the credit or rental history to get my own place, I started panicking. The only option was to put down at least three months rent cash upfront, to even be considered. Suddenly, money was drying up at the club for me, my regulars were being whisked away by girls who would do more for less. I couldn't really get mad, it's just a part of the game really. So I knew what needed to be done.

I hit up one of my girlfriends and told her that I needed the extra cash and what I was willing to do for it. She helped me set up a website, took professional photos of me, made me business cards. The whole nine yards. Now all I had to do was wait. About a week in, I finally get my first client. It was awkward and surprisingly, both of our first times in this situation. I was sent back home in a black car and a few hundred bucks richer for just 30 minutes of my time. I felt a rush I never felt before.

As the months rolled by, the money came. Luxury was the new standard for me. Designer everything, nice dinners, even nicer dates. To my surprise a majority of my clientele were, at most, 10 years older than me, and even more surprisingly, good looking. Finance bros, guys with daddy's money, or just men who had the money to spare. They always talked about how it was more fun and less work to hire me than get a girlfriend. To get a pretty girl in their arm to parade around that wouldn't bicker and give them a hard time at the end of the night. No feelings attached, just company and good sex.

So here I am Saturday night. Instead of going out to the club like a normal woman my age in Manhattan should be doing. I am in my hotel. Waiting for a call or text from someone. Anybody. My hair in rollers, makeup half done. Just waiting. My phone lights up, a text coming in:

Hi, Gia. Was interested in spending an hour with you tonight, 11pm.

I smiled to myself. Finally, someone who reads my ad properly. Follows the instructions on what to text to me. Straight to the point.

Wonderful, just need a picture of your ID or passport.

I reply. Always a rule my girlfriend drilled into my head. Safety first. If they don't do it, then what could they be planning? Anything goes bad and all you have is a name that couldn't even be real. Any client worth your time understands your safety is a priority. So this was my way of feeling safer. A moment passes before my phone dings again.

A picture of a passport, full name and age. Along with a picture. He's cute. A little older than what I usually get but I'm not complaining. I quickly look him up, nothing out of the ordinary. Good.

Great. Thank you, Simon. I'll send an address for you to send a car at 10:20. Reach out to you then❤️

Before I start to get ready he texts,

Wear something casual.

Not an odd request. Actually most clients prefer it. Want more of a girlfriend vibe rather than an escort. I finished getting ready, helping myself to a glass of wine. Playing my usual bad bitch songs, it helped me turn into the woman I needed to be- from me to Gia.

10:25 rolls around. I get a screenshot of the Uber from him. 5 minutes out. I grab my purse and strut out of my hotel, to a nearby park. Never give your real address. Always make sure you're not being followed.

A black SUV pulls up, I slide in. Exchange pleasantries with the driver and I'm off. Headed to midtown. I share my location with a friend and how long I should be gone. My phone goes off.

Walk into the building and head to the elevators on the left. 36th floor. Apt. 4A.

I nod to myself before shooting a text of confirmation.

Got it. See you soon ;)

I pull up to the building, it's huge. Nicer than most places I've been. He must have some serious cash. I walk into the building and follow the directions he gave me. A little adrenaline rushes through me as I walk up to the door, always did when meeting someone new. I knock. He almost immediately opens the door, as if he was standing in front of it. Waiting.

Simon!

I say with a wide smile. He steps aside as I walk in, looking around. Nice place. Really nice place. Ceiling to floor windows, minimalist decor, the lovely smell of something masculine and expensive. He looks me up and down as I turn to him.

You look just like your pictures.

His voice is deep, alluring, unreadable. Sends a chill up my thighs that shoots straight to my core.

You do too.

I reply playfully. A small twitch plays at the corner of his mouth before disappearing. His face inscrutable. I shimmy off my coat before he takes it, hanging it up in a closet near the entrance. I wait for him to move. He stands, hands in his pockets, studying me. An awkward minute passes before he walks to the living room. I follow.

Really nice place you got here.

I try to make the moment more comfortable.

Hm.

He responds. He wasn't like the other men I've seen before. They are sociable, or at least try to be. I take a seat on the couch next to him, our knees barely touching.

Money's there.

He gestures to an envelope on the table. I nod, grabbing it.

Do you mind if I...?

I ask, opening it up. He nods and stands to pour himself a drink. My eyes widen. This is more than my usual rate. Much more. I'm quiet, trying not to show my shock.

Was hoping to do an overnight, if that's alright.

It was less of a question and more of a statement from him. It was more than enough for a night. I nodded.

Of course, I do wish you would've told me; I would've packed a bag.

I smiled, putting the envelope down on the table. I grab my phone and update my friend on how long I'd be gone for. I put away the phone quickly and look up at him. God, was he hot. And the way he carried himself made him even hotter, so nonchalant. He shrugged, sipping his drink before sitting next to me again, some space between us.

How long you been doing this?

He stares at me, gaze so intense I squirm a little.

Just a few months.

We're quiet again. Usually I try to carry a conversation if the other party can't hold one, but he makes me nervous. I talk again, asking mundane questions. It's like pulling teeth trying to have small talk with him. Maybe he's just not much of a talker.

I scoot closer to him, our knees barely touching. He puts his drink down, and rests his arms on the back of the couch. I lean in closer to him, resting my hand on his thigh before kissing his lips. He kisses back softly. We exchange light, almost timid kisses for awhile. He finally moves. A hand reaching up to grab at my hair, gently pulling. I moan faintly and that seems to set him off. He grabs me by the throat, not hard, just enough to stand me up and guide me to his bedroom; our kisses getting more intense. We strip each other of our clothes. I unbuckle his pants and pull them down, it feels like I'm opening a gift on Christmas. He's big. I smile up at him. He just looks down vacantly. I pull down his boxers and his erection springs up, tip drooling. He opens a drawer next to the bed, pulling out a condom and rolling it on himself.

Lay back.

He commands. I obey, opening my legs. I've done this so many times before, but this time it's different. As unceremoniously as he's treating this, I can't be more excited. His body is amazing, tattoos and scars just adding to the mysterious aura. His natural scent drives me wild. I look up to him as he crawls over me, lining himself up with me. He gives a couple lazy slaps on my slick. I take a sharp breath. He watches as he slides himself in, I tense up. Most guys are well... average. And he's well... much more than that.

Relax.

He huffs. Sliding himself in more, not giving me any time to adjust. I grip the bedsheets, clenching my jaw. I stare up at him, he doesn't even look at me. His face emotionless as he watches himself slide in and out. I try to unclench, opening myself up more to him.

Mhm...

He grunts. My nipples harden at his voice. I moan as he slams into my cervix repeatedly. It makes him shoot his eyes up at me, glaring into mine. His eyes dark pools, intense. He roughly hooks his arms under my knees, pushing them up to my chest. He digs even deeper into me as I whimper. He takes quick, shallow breaths.

You're so deep.

I say panting, the breath getting knocked out of me. I reach out to touch his muscular arms. He grunts and pounds harder into me. I throw my head back, whining. Trying to not wince in pain. He slows for a moment, pulling back, keeping my legs on his shoulders as he slides in and out. My breasts bounce up and down with each thrust.

You're hot.

A hint of emotion in his voice, he reaches down to knead my chest. My face gets hot. I tighten around him.

Fuck...

He makes a sound that almost resembles a moan. I smile up at him, almost proud of making him show any emotion. He looks down at me, a flicker in his eyes, a small smirk on his face that leaves as quickly as it came. He parts my legs and rubs at my clit in rough circles. I squirm under him.

Say my name.

He orders. His strokes picking up as I get used to him.

Simon~

As soon as his name leaves my lips, a deep rumble from his chest fills my ears. He leans over me, arms on either side of my head. I reach up to run my hands up and down the back of his neck.

Say you love me.

His request takes me aback. I pull him closer, my lips just under his ear.

I love you~

He immediately tenses up and takes a heavy breath. I could feel him twitch inside me as he finishes. He pulls away quickly, going to the bathroom to throw out the condom and clean up. He brings back a wet towel, wiping me down.

What's your name?

His tone as flat as ever.

Gia.

I responded. I know what he's actually asking me. Never, ever tell a trick your real name. Hell, he shouldn't even know your real age.

You know what I mean.

He glares at me. I shift awkwardly. Don't do it. He doesn't say a word, just stares in a way that makes me uncomfortable. Why should he know your real name anyways? I tell him my name. Stupid. Fucking dumbass. I kick myself. He nods and slides into some sweats, throwing me his shirt.

Let's watch something.

I throw on his shirt. Now this is what I'm used to. Being a temporary girlfriend. Pretending to be affectionate. Giving much needed companionship. He splays out on the couch as I lay on top of him. He turns on the TV, resting a hand on my ass and squeezing it. Maybe this is why he hires girls. Because of how distant he is. The man can't even hold a conversation. He flicks on some show he was in the middle of, a business dramedy that I couldn't care less about. I rest my head on his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair. We're like this for a while, quiet.

Tell me you love me.

He says dryly, looking down at me. I look up and kiss him.

I love you, Simon.

He gets hard immediately, rubbing himself on me. He gets up, lifting me up effortlessly, and throws me on the bed. He lays on top of me, pinning me down onto the bed. Kissing me much more passionately this time, like he was trying to taste every inch of my mouth.

Keep saying it.

His voice gruff. He moves his kisses down to my neck, pawing at my bust.

I love you, Simon.

I moan. I wanted him so badly. I don't care how I got him, I just wanted to take him. Something about him made me go crazy, deep inside. He yanks up the shirt I was wearing, moving his kisses more and more south.

You fuck other people raw?

I shake my head. I might've been a whore, but I wasn't reckless.

Never.

He nods.

Can I eat you out?

I look down at him. Something about seeing him between my legs makes me wanna say yes. The way his eyes looks almost as if he's pleading, desperate. No way. Never do that.

Yes.

I allow him to keep going. What the fuck am I doing? Why am I allowing this? Before I can think more, he plunges his tongue between my lips. Lapping up desperately, burying his face into me. I roll my eyes back, running my fingers through his hair.

I love you, Simon.

I gasp. It's the only thing he wanted me to say. I saw something in him, the way he reacted when I said that, it made me want to stay in his place forever. To never leave. Make him happy. It's just the good head talking, you'll snap back to your senses afterwards. He moans so quietly I can barely hear it. Barely. My legs on his shoulders, his arms wrapped around my thighs. Digging fingers into the soft flesh. He sucks on my nub repeatedly. It's a tortuously delicious feeling. I grip his hair a little.

I love you, Simon.

I look down at him, watching him devour me. He looks up at me, his eyes showing an emotion I can't decipher. He moves one hand down to slide two fingers into me.

I love you, Simon.

I moan, throwing my head back and smiling.

Hmm...

He mumbled into my heat. Pumping in and out before bending his fingers in a way that presses against my sweet spot. I hiss, pleasure flashing through me like a strobe light. I'm dripping wet. He pulls his fingers out and plunges his tongue into my entrance, trying to suck out every drop of my juices.

You taste good.

Voice as flat as ever, as if he isn't lost in between my folds. He drags his tongue up between my lips, from my entrance to my nub again. He slips his fingers in again, pressing up against my sweet spot repeatedly. I get lost in the feeling. God I could stay like this forever. He looks up at me, like he's looking for validation.

I love you, Simon~

I slip out between heavy breaths. He picks up the pace of his fingers and tongue. My face gets hot as I get closer, grip his hair a little harder. He goes even faster, harder, almost feverant. I roll my eyes back, panting. I whimper before crying out, tightening around his fingers in a vice grip.

I love you, Simon~

I force the words from my throat as I spasm under him. He continues, seemingly determined to draw another climax out of me. I mewled, trying to push his head away. He was unmoving for an unbearable moment. The only sounds were my pants and his slurping.

I love you, Simon.

I wailed, almost hoping it'll make him stop. He does thankfully. He pulls away, tearing off his sweats, beating off himself. Staring at me, his gaze is intense as ever. He grabs me by the thighs and drags me into his lap. He continues to stroke himself, staring into my wet core as if he was hypnotized by it.

Can I...

He starts, almost knowing he shouldn't ask the question.

Can I fuck you raw?

His voice is uncharacteristically soft and unsure. I blink at him, mind racing. ABORT! ABORT! THIS IS LIKE RULE #1 IN HOE-ING!!! He looked so delicious from this angle, his eyes still glued on my wetness. ARE YOU INSANE?? NO!! His throbbing, beautiful dick is twitching.

...yes.

I nod. You're the dumbest person on the planet. I insult myself a million different ways in my head. A brief moment of regret is replaced with pleasure as he slides his tip teasingly in and out of me. His jaw clenches, chest rising and falling faster. His voice cracks as a moan escapes him, his eyebrows furrow.

I love you, Simon.

I stare at him, eyes half lidded. The smallest smile spreads across his face, still looking at himself entering me. He inches his way in. Pulling in and out, going deeper each time. I squeeze him, make him bite his lip.

That's good.

He stated, voice quavering. He clears his throat before grabbing one leg and lifting it to my chest, digging deep into me. I take a sharp breath in. He hovers over me, arms on either side of my head again. He slides in and out, slowly at first then picking up to a punishing pace. I whimper and wiggle under him. He grabs my face, forcing me to look into his eyes that bore into mine.

I love you, Simon.

I stare right back at him, passion shooting right out of my eyes. His eyes flutter for a moment before blinking back into his cold, unnerving self. He continues to dig himself into me, slamming and grinding himself into the deepest parts of me. It's a painfully addicting feeling. I take his hand and press it up against my lower stomach so he can feel how much he fills me. He clenches his jaw so hard, it looks like his head could pop.

I love you, Simon.

I whisper. He drops down on top of me, snaking his arms around and behind my back to grab my ass. His mouth right next to my ear, I can hear his fast and shallow breaths. Little groans that slip out every now and then. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tighter.

I love you, Simon.

I hear him groan under me as I said it again. He goes faster than before, pretty much jackhammering me into the mattress. My mouth is agape and head thrown back. Only grunts escape my throat as I get fucked senseless.

Mhm...like that?

His words bounce around in my empty head. I replay it in my head over and over until I clench around him, he doesn't stop though. It only seems to spur him on even more. His warm breath tickling my ear as it gets more ragged.

Keep saying it.

He demands through gritted teeth.

Fuck... I love you, Simon.

I squeak out the words. He huffs and continues to rampage my body.

Can I come inside you?

He asks- No, begs. No use in turning back now. Just the thought made me close again.

Yes.

I nod and he breathes harder and harder until he pleads in a strained voice,

Say it.

I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside me.

I love you, Simon~

He spills inside me. His stammered breaths and moans driving me crazy. The feeling of him pumping into me driving me over the edge. I pull him closer, practically squeezing him.

I love you, Simon.

I tenderly kiss the top of his head as he nuzzles into my neck.

How often do you do this?

My head clears, a wave of regret coming over me.

Never. I never even hired anyone before you.

He says in a way so sincere I honestly believe him. How do you know when a trick is lying? Their mouth is open. Rules. Rules to live by, to be able to survive doing what I do. Rules. They all meant nothing as soon as I laid eyes on him. Somehow saw this coming a mile away in the back of my head. He pulled away from my grasp, disappointment flooded me. He leaned back, opening my legs: watching both of our cum dripping out of me.

Say it.

His eyes so focused, as if he were trying to take a picture with his mind; so he would never forget this moment.

I love you, Simon.

I say with a tender smile. His dick jumps. Good lord is this man insatiable. He stands up and does the same routine as before, cleaning himself up and then me. He hands me his shirt:

Here.

I throw it on and he leads me to the bathroom, grabbing me by the shoulders and making me face the mirror. He gently pushes my back, I lean my elbows on the countertop. I stand on the balls of my feet, trying to get my hips to meet his. As I look in the mirror, his face looks almost tender watching me sway my hips.

I love you, Simon~

I sing softly. He bites his lip, entering me again. God, I never get used to the feeling. He grabs my hips and pulls me onto him, he bottoms me out. Groaning louder this time, he pulls my hair back so I'm looking directly at the mirror, locking eyes with him.

S'it, pretty girl...

A corner of his mouth upturned just enough to know he's enjoying himself. His words make me flutter around him. He groans and starts to pound into me. The bathroom is filled with the duet of our breaths and groans. He pulls my hair so my back is pressed against his chest. He rests a hand on my throat, squeezing just enough. Moves his lips to my neck, still sliding in and out of me.

You love me? Huh?

He grunts, warm breath on the pulse of my neck.

I love you. So much.

I moaned. I repeated the phrase so many times, it started coming out of my mouth naturally. He moved his hand from my hair to my lower stomach, pressing against it so he could feel himself hitting my walls.

You love this dick, yeah? Say it.

His voice getting more demanding and urgent. I nod and look at him through the mirror, smiling.

I love it, I love this dick so much, Simon~

He nips at my neck as he continues to fuck me. His nips turn into bites. Bites that definitely leave marks. I didn't care, that didn't matter right now.

You're never fucking leaving, you know that?

A threat that sounded like heaven to me. He could keep me chained to the bed and I wouldn't care, just as long as he kept fucking me like this. I giggled with excitement.

You like that, hm?

He smiles against my skin before continuing to lick and bite my neck.

I love it~

I truly did. It felt heavenly. Better than anyone I've ever had. Ever. Something felt so familiar about his touch. As if I belonged there.

I love you, Simon~

At this point I feel like I'm reciting a prayer, the words flowing out of me like a stream. I was melting in his arms.

Turn around, wanna see that pretty face.

I did so eagerly as he lifted me up on the counter and slid inside me. I smirked up at him. He, as always, was watching himself impale me.

Looks so pretty...

He seemingly mumbled to himself. He leaned down and pressed our foreheads together, a firm hand on the back of my head. Hitting a spot so deep inside me I never knew I had. We were like this for a long minute, sloppy sounds of our sex bouncing off the walls.

I love you, Simon.

I stared into his eyes. They seem to soften for a moment before he tightened the grip on the back of my neck. A huff, and then he came undone. He stayed inside me until he was soft. He pulls out and pushes his fingers into my cunt, stuffing his seed back into me.

Hm.

He grunts in a way that sounds like approval before helping me off the counter. He leads me to bed and slips under the covers.

In my arms.

Commanding as he usually does. I press my head against his chest, his heart beating hard and fast. He wraps an arm around me, his touch much gentler than before. I fall asleep. Not too sure if he does too.

Morning comes and I'm woken up by the sun shining in my face. Sitting up, I'm in his bed, still wearing his shirt. Alone. I walk out to the living room and see him setting up breakfast on the coffee table.

You made this?

I question, surprised.

Ordered it. Good morning.

He turns to me, shoving his hands in his pockets. He looks at me expectantly. I blink at him.

Good morning.

I say. He looks at me as if he was anticipating something else. I think for a moment before suddenly remembering.

I love you, Simon.

He steps to the side, inviting me to sit on the couch. I help myself to a seat and look at the plate in front of me. It's simple, French toast and eggs. I help myself.

Are you gonna eat anything?

I look at him quizzically. He shakes his head, staring like always. We're silent as I finish my plate. I grab my phone and check the time. Almost time for me to leave.

Can I book you for longer?

His voice is gruff. An underlying tone, pleading?

It'll be expensive.

I didn't want to say that. Wanted to say I'll stay as long as he likes. But I already made too many mistakes. Gotta get back on track.

I don't care.

Of course he didn't. He could probably buy me out for the rest of my life if he wanted to. He pulled out his phone, asking for my personal number so he could send the money straight to my bank account. Hesitantly I gave it to him. He probably could find out that stuff if he wanted to anyways. My phone dings, I check my bank app. My eyes pop out of my head. I look up at him bewildered.

How long would that get me?

He asks, as if he didn't send me an ungodly amount of money.

It's enough for a whole week...

Shock still overwhelming me.

You wanna stay that long?

He doesn't really ask. He knows I'll say yes. Doesn't even wait for my answer.

I'll let you get your things.

He throws some of his clothes my way and sends me back in a car to the hotel. I grab my bags and checkout. Is this really happening? A call from my girlfriend. I tell her about his extension. She says something about making sure he's not a serial killer. We laugh, tells me to have fun, don't fall in love. I scoff as if that was the stupidest idea I've heard. As soon as I know it I'm back at his place, he's grabbing bags from me, setting them to the side. Turning to me and running a hand up the side of my waist.

I love you, Simon.

We spend the whole week tangled up in each other. Taking a break before I say those four words and he has me pinned against a wall or over a dresser or kitchen counter. Any flat surface, really.

It's Saturday night and we're showering, cleaning off sweat and other bodily fluids from each other. His touch is so gentle, handling me like I was a piece of china. He liked me. It was obvious. Seemed like the only way he knew how to show it was by fucking me, though. I liked him too. Maybe not to the extent he did.

Seemed like he found something he needed for a long time. He was hungry. Famished. He couldn't just let go of me. He's not satiated yet. Don't know if he'll ever be. It was a looming feeling. Dark and heavy. A little scary. But it made me feel more desired than I've ever been before. And not just a carnal desire. It made me feel coveted.

We're laid up on his couch. Watching the show I didn't care for before, a little more invested. My phone lights up, buzzing. The name of a regular of mine across the screen in big bold letters. This is usually the time of the month he calls to set up a date. A reminder that this is all temporary. I let it go to voicemail. He tenses up. Jealousy and disappointment radiating off him.

How much for the whole month?

He doesn't even let me think of an answer before speaking again.

How much to make you quit for good?

I'm a little shook, sure I've heard it a dozen times before. Always said in jest. But he's serious. The few words he said, he always seemed to mean. No need to waste his breath beating around the bush. My heart races. I can feel his pound against mine. A number doesn't come to my head.

Let's just see how this goes.

He doesn't like that answer. He wants something solid. A promise that I'll never leave. More than a promise. But that's as good as he can get right now. There's a tense silence between us.

I love you, Simon.

The only thing I can think of saying right now. He takes hold of me, climbing into the bed and sits me in his lap. His back against the headboard.

C'mon love.

He says frigid. An underlying tone of disappointment and hurt. I slide myself down on him, a little more adjusted to his size now. He wraps strong arms around my waist, pulling me so close it seems like he wants to coalesce into my very being.

Give me a number.

A demand that seems more like a plea. We hold each other. Unmoving as he is still buried deep inside me.

Maybe it is a little toxic to spiral into the addiction to fast money. Maybe I'm a little sick of pretending to be the perfect woman. Maybe it is a little exhausting to be a fantasy and nothing more. Maybe it is a little lonely when it's just me lying in bed, when I have to comfort others. Where's my comfort in all of this? Where's my happiness in all of this? No more fake smiles. No more fake orgasms. No more fake feelings. I don't care if he's lying. I want to indulge in delusion. Even for a moment.

Ok.

I give in. He leans over, placing me on my back before adjusting himself on top of me. Touches my face, his showing an emotion that is genuine and staggering. Devotion? It feels like it.

I could almost cry, the way he takes me like I'm his. The way he talks to me like I'm not someone he hired. That didn't matter anymore. I wasn't an escort to him. I was his girl. The sex was different. Transcendant. Divine. Did I know I wanted to be saved? Of course I didn't know; for the life of sin and suffering is simply a thing to toil in until you are shown salvation. Every time he came, he baptized me. I was born again in his eyes, I was perfect and clean. Absolved of my sins.

He looked at me with so much adoration. I looked up at him, much in the same way Magdalene did to her Redeemer. He had turned a prostitute into a Saint. The unshakeable feeling of deliverance washed over as he touched me, no longer a leper. I was saved by him. His body. His sweat. His seed. Akin to taking Communion. The closest to heaven we'll ever get.

[fandomnerd9602]

Love Me Tender

Bambi!Wanda x Reader

WARNING ⚠️ ANGST AHEAD ⚠️

She shouldn’t have let you go. You were trying to do your part. It was your time to lead the tactical team on the rescue op. You had Natasha and Yelena as your backup. Wanda, your loving doe mate, had a feeling that you shouldn’t go. But she knew there were other hybrids that needed the spec ops team so she put her fears aside.

How she wished she listened. It was lonely and near silent in your apartment. Wanda could only wait for you to come back thru that apartment door.

That door, that whole apartment. She wanted to build a life here with you. One where she would eventually find her boys and raise them with you. To grow old with you.

And then came the phone call. The caller ID sent chills down her spine - New York Presbyterian Hospital.

“Hello?” She shakily answered.

“Wanda?” Natasha’s own shaky voice spoke up. “There’s been an incident.”

“Any hybrids?”

“Safe and secure. But…” Natasha hesitated. “(Y/N)’s been hurt. They’re taking your detka in for emergency surgery and treatment.”

Wanda’s ears began to ring. The world around her was blurring.

“Wanda? Wanda?”

“I-I’m here.” Wanda tried to be composed.

“I’ll keep you updated but it’s touch and go right now” Natasha tries to comfort her pal but her own sense of dread and sorrow was overwhelming.

She drove to the hospital as fast as she could. Her mind was racing, just hoping and praying that you’d be awake by the time she got there.

Wanda burst into the waiting room to find Natasha and Yelena pacing, their wolf tails hung low.

“Bambi,” Yelena said a little glum.

“Where’s my detka?” She looked around, “what happened?”

Natasha guided her to sit down. “We were on an op involving the Red Room. (Y/N) took three bullets while protecting some hybrids”

Wanda thought she had used up all her tears, but fresh ones were already welling up in her eyes.

“(Y/N) is in surgery right now,” Yelena explains. “Chances are looking good but I-I…I don’t know”

Wanda looked around and saw a couple hybrids being checked for wounds.

“Are these them?” Wanda asked. Natasha simply nodded. Wanda found all of her strength just leave her and she sat down.

Wanda took a deep breath. These hybrids were malnourished, some had wounds and cuts and bruises. In that moment, Wanda -ever growing in her own bravery - knew that she could either shrink or walk forward and be exactly what you had been for her all along.

Wanda got up and began helping to the counsel the new hybrids, letting them just tell her anything and everything. She wasn’t sure if it really helped but Wanda just let them talk. Her mere act of service was already a soothing balm, just the simple act of a friendly ear was healing to people whose voices were practically taken from them.

The doctors came out a couple hours later and informed Wanda that you were in post op recovery. Wanda was relieved. And then they let her know that she could see you.

Wanda practically ran as soon as she knew the room number. She hesitated outside your room. Wanda was terrified, what if what she saw just caused her to break? She already saw what death had done to her parents at a young age. Would you look anything like that?

She opened the door and quietly entered. You laid there, your right arm, rib, and shoulder were bandaged. You had shrapnel burns on the right side of your face.

“Detka” Wanda began crying a little as she knelt by your bedside. “My detka”

Wanda tried to talk to you, even if you couldn’t hear her. “You would’ve been proud. I did my best for the hybrids. I just let them talk. I did what you did for me - you gave me my voice back”

She takes your hand in hers, “all I want is to hear yours again, detka”

Her mind wandered to a favorite song of yours and hers. She laid her head against your arm.

Love me tender

Love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made my life complete

And I love you so

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

And I always will

Love me tender

Love me long

Take me to your heart

For it's there that I belong

And we'll never part

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

And I always will

Love me tender

Love me dear

Tell me you are mine

I'll be yours through all the years

Till the end of time

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

And I always will

And I always will

And I always will

Wanda found herself beginning to weep. She’d wait for you to wake up, however long that would take.

And then she felt a set of fingers, gently running their digits thru her hair, caressing her scalp. Wanda shot up to see you weakly smiling at her.

“Are you sure your hybrid animal isn’t a songbird?” You ask weakly, your voice hoarse from being dry.

“Detka!!!” Wanda cried as she jumped forward and hugged you tight. You winced a little from the pain. Wanda gasped, “I’m so sorry!”

You took her face delicately in your hands, “I don’t care”

And with that, you pulled her into a kiss. She moaned happily against your lips, her deer tail wiggled happily.

It was your turn to be the one in recovery and it would take time but Wanda was by your side every step of the way. Tony covered the medical bills and even paid for a hotel room not far from the hospital for Wanda.

Your mate loved you so much and you loved her back. Your love really was a dream come true.

Tags @lifespectator @julieromanoff @idkwhatever580 @olsenmyolsen @supercorpdanbeau @scarletquake-n7 @pinklawyerwinnerzonk @revanshand @russianredassassin @multi-fandom-enjoyer

[absolutelyhugh3s]

michigan maize | ee73

ethan edwards x reader!

more loosely based song fics!! this one is tennessee orange by megan moroney

thank you guys so so much for all the love and support on forever and ever!!! y’all seriously don’t understand how much it means to me!! i love every single one of you <33

word count: 1.13k (not my gif!)

“hi munchkin! how are you doing?” my mothers honey-like voice filled my ears as she answered my call.

oh god, i'm really doing this.

“hi mama” i smiled even though she couldn’t see me “im good”

“i've got some news” i said nervously, clenching the comforter of my bed in my fist.

“oh honey is everything alright?” her slight chicago accent peaking through.

“dont worry im doing okay, just please dont tell dad?” i pleaded with my mother.

“y/n did something happen?” she asked worriedly.

“yes mama. he’ll blow a fuse if he found out” my father wasn’t big on me going to the umich. being the coach of msu hockey, he wanted me to go there.

but when i received an amazing scholarship to play lacrosse, i had to take it.

the first thing he told me when i left for school was “don't run off with any of those hockey boys y/n, they are very bad news.”

well, he’s clearly never met ethan.

“i know you raised me to know right from wrong, but god he makes it so hard” i chuckle “he?” my mother questions.

“i met somebody mama, hes brunette, and he's got these big brown eyes, and he opens the door for me everywhere i go!” 

ethan and y/n go on small date’s every wednesday night. its an awkward time for some, but for them, its the only time in their busy schedules that they can be together.

today, their date night was dressing up super fancy (as barbie and ken of course) seeing the barbie movie, and eating at a small diner a few blocks from the movie theater.

ethan had planned out the entire thing and the couple had a blast. once ethan had driven her back to her on campus apartment, she thanked the older boy, kissed him goodbye and began to exit the car.

“WAIT” ethan yelled. he jumped up out of the drivers seat, exiting the car and running around to open his girlfriend’s car door. “ok now you can go” he smiled

the small action made the girl melt like a snowman in summer. the defenseman than sprinted to the main door of her apartment complex, opening that for her as well.

“m’lady” he held out a hand as y/n walked through the door a blushing mess. he than took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers, leading her up to her apartment.

though the action was so little, it made her fall in love with him more and more every day.

“he just makes me so happy! hes like perfectly perfect! god! i've never felt this way mama!” i ramble.

“hun” my mother chuckles. “whats his name?” i then realize i left out the most important part “ethan! ethan edwards! mama you would love him” i smiled.

“but back home id be sinning” the smile fades slightly from my face. “why is that dear?” it seems as though she could hear what was going though my mind.

“mama, hes got me wearing maize and blue for him” i sarcastically laughed. 

“you should come to my game tomorrow” ethan said, running his hands through the ends of the y/h/c girls hair.

“the boys would love to see you, plus i get to have my own little good luck charm in the stands” the boy smiled like a small child at the girl laying on his chest.

“really?” she looked up at the brown haired boy with big doe eyes. “yes really” he grinned.

“here” he moved the smaller girl off of his chest to stand up from his bed.

he rummages through his closet, looking for a specific item of clothing.

suddenly a large yellow piece of fabric is thrown at her “you can even wear my jersey” he smiles.

the girl holds it up a large ‘edwards 73’ stares at her. “you know what e? i think i will”

“oh hes an athlete?” my mom says, surprised.

“yeah hekindasortamaybeplayshockey” i rush out, nervous of what my mother would say.

“im gonna need you to slow down y/n/n” she chuckles

“he plays hockey mama. he had me wearing his jersey at a msu game! of course i want the spartans to win but still! his smile! oh his smile! it makes me forget i look better in green!” i gush about my boyfriend.

“so thats why you didnt want your father to know” my mom teases, clearly finding enjoyment in this entire situation.

“oh please forgive me mama, i like him a lot” i beg “oh i think its a lot more than like sweetheart” my mom says. “what?”

“oh honey you are head over heels for ethan” she laughs “i've known for ten minutes and i can tell” 

“oh god im in love with a wolverine!” i exclaim.

“babygirl its ok! the worlds not gonna end! growing up in chicago i said i would never date a red wings fan, guess what? i married one!” she laughs.

“so you’re not mad?” i asked hesitantly.

“of course not y/n! its my job as your mother to always be supportive of you” i could tell she was smiling though the phone.

i talked with my mother for a while longer about random stuff for about another half hour. “mama i have to go, ethan should be here in a few minutes” i say.

“alright sweetie, invite him home would ya?” my mother asks. “of course mama, i love you” “i love you too sweet girl, bye bye”

i clean things up for about ten minutes when i hear a knock at my apartment door.

“you can come in e!” i shout. “ok!” he shouts back before walking in.

i put the last few dishes in the cabinet when i feel two muscular arms snake around my waist and a face bury into the crook of my neck.

“hi baby” he mumbles, tightening his hold on my waist.

“hi e” i giggled. “guess what i did today” i added.

“hmm climbed mount everest?” “nope” “slayed a dragon?” “nope” “killed someone?” “god no!”

“i told my mom about us” i smiled. ethans parents have known for a few weeks now about us, but he didnt wanna push me to tell mine. he wanted me to be comfortable with doing it myself.

ethan spins me around, his hands steading my hips. “you did?” he smiles.

“i did” i mirror his smile. the much larger boy then pulls me into the tightest hug possible.

“im so proud of you baby” he says, kissing the crown of my head.

“i have a question though” i place my chin on his sternum so im looking up at ethan. “whats up love?”

“what are you doing for spring break?”

[mikashisus]

HSR MEN WITH AS IT IS SONGS !

PAIRINGS: dan heng, aventurine, sunday, jing yuan, blade x gn!reader

CWS: angst

NOTES: all of u can blame gwen and jun for the dan heng section. anyw ive been so hyperfixated on as it is lately bc they just announced they’re coming back from hiatus and RAHHHH IM SO EXCITED, ive been waiting so longgg i missed the pookies sm <//3 ermm this is not proofread sorry for any errors !!

WC: 1.1k

THE FIRE, THE DARK — DAN HENG

“she’s all i want, now that i’m on my own, now that she’s really gone” …

on the days where his mind wasn’t occupied with the data bank or memories of his past life, his thoughts always drifted to you.

you, who always kept him warm with your body heat. you, who always filled the express with constant laughter and chatter. you, who never failed to distract him from his work. your smile that could light up an entire room and your joyful presence that beckoned others to you.

but he let you slip through his fingers. and now, his bed was cold and so was he. his room was quiet, almost devoid of life except for his soft breathing. the parlor car was empty, except for welt and himeko’s occasional whispers. breakfasts weren’t any fun anymore, not when you weren’t there to rile up march and shout “food fight!”

his life was dull without you, the fire that kept him going. now there was a different fire, but it didn’t burn as bright as you. it never would. now that you were gone, traveling elsewhere in the cosmos, you were all he ever wanted.

DIAL TONES — AVENTURINE

“i’ll mend your heart and break it in the same breath, all we ever share are dial tones” …

another night of the same shit. you had been waiting for the inevitable ringtone that always sounded when he called you.

same time every night without fail. sometimes, he wouldn’t call at all. he’d blow off your dates and then gift you things you didn’t need to try and make up for it. but all you really wanted was to spend time with him.

you waited, cuddling a plushie he gifted you to your chest. the clock struck midnight and still no call. you were just about to give up and call it a night, when your phone screen lit up and the caller id displayed his name. you eagerly sat up, reaching for your phone, when you suddenly paused.

he was going to recite the same words. you could feel it. you let your hand drop back onto your bed and sighed as you turned your back to your phone. you wouldn’t answer. not tonight.

when you woke up the next morning, his side of the bed was still empty, but a small note rested on his pillow. you picked it up, only to see the same lame half-assed apology he always gave. you crumpled up the piece of paper and grabbed your phone, dialing his number.

THE HANDWRITTEN LETTER — SUNDAY

“i need you when i’m bruised, i need you when i’m broken” …

he fell from grace. he was no longer the esteemed head of the oak family. he was now… a fallen angel. a fugitive of penacony.

and yet, he came crawling to you for help again. even now, when he knew that involving you meant you would be a fugitive too. but he needed you— needed your smile, your laugh, your presence, your embrace. everything about you.

you always healed him when he felt broken and bruised. you always welcomed him into your home without question, tending to his broken state of mind and allowing him a moment of solace from the outside world.

he knocked thrice, waiting for the door to the shop to swing open like it always did. but there was no answer from the other side, no sign of life. he knocked again, only to realize the sign in the window. the shop was closed, and sold.

you were gone. you didn’t tell him you were leaving. why didn’t you tell him? why didn’t you stay when he so clearly needed you?

he fished out his beaten up phone and sent you a text, only for it to not go through.

THE TRUTH I’LL NEVER TELL — JING YUAN

“how long's it been, it must be months, i swear this time I meant to keep in touch, like always” …

how long has it been? months? years?

he swore he’d keep in touch with you even after you moved to the yaoqing, yet he never took that one step to sending you a text or dialing your number.

it was slowly getting harder for him. his mental health was getting worse. all of his past friends were showing up again, all of them completely different from the people they used to be. they were familiar faces, yet he didn’t recognize any of them.

you were the only one thing that stayed constant in his life before you also left. you moved, and you slowly changed, just like everyone else.

he wondered if you moved on, found a new partner, had kids…

he could easily text you, or call, and ask to catch up sometime. but he was scared. you’d ask about his wellbeing, and he wouldn’t be able to tell you because he didn’t want you to feel disappointed. he didn’t want you to feel guilty for leaving him by himself.

you sent him texts. he read each one. he’d reread them when he missed you terribly. yet, he couldn’t find the courage to reply. you sent him letters once in a while, yet none of them told of how your own life was going. you always asked about him. how he’s been, how yanqing was doing, how fu xuan was faring.

you asked about dan feng once, and that was the only time he responded, telling of his reincarnation. that was the last and only time he replied.

PATCHWORK LOVE — BLADE

“i won’t forget you, i won’t regret through the pain, the years i gave to you” …

he knows you used to love him, but you don’t anymore. you loved who he used to be.

yingxing was the man you fell in love with once upon a time. it’s been years since then. did he even remember that time? you did. you oh so clearly did.

whenever you reconnected, you’d bring it up. you’d talk about all the things you two used to do, where you’d go, the holidays you spent together. it seemed as if your head was filled entirely of memories from the past. as if your heart still beat for the man he used to be, when all he used to do was smile. when all he said to you were words of love and encouragement.

but it’s been years since then. and he was not the same man you knew. he was mara-struck, his mental health unstable and teetering on the edge of insanity at every moment.

yet, you seemed to be the same. somehow. you’d text him now and then, and he knew you felt guilty for what happened, even though it wasn’t your fault in the slightest. he never blamed you for anything.

you’d ask to meetup, and when you did, he saw how you were almost the exact same as you used to be. just, now, your eyes were duller, no longer filled with that wonder he always loved the most about you.

you talked of how your life was going. you were faring well— way better than he was. you had kids. they were all grown up with families of their own. your heart no longer beat for him. it seemed as if you finally moved on.

he wouldn’t ever forget you. he swore he wouldn’t. not when thoughts of you kept him sane. although the past you shared was no more, he still felt himself again when he was with you. as if nothing changed.

© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[pollymorgan]

Ex-Husband Negan Part 3

Warnings: Defloration, but in a good way.

Tense, Negan looked back and forth between me and the hallway, towards Gracie's room. Then he ran his hand uneasily over his face.

"Fuck, sweetheart, correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you the one who always said I shouldn't use sex as a power tool?" he asked, with a slight grin on his face.

Innocently, I shrugged, "I would rather call it an offer."

I could clearly see the struggle in his eyes. "Okay, here's a counterproposal. You go ahead and make yourself comfortable, maybe even take off all those unnecessary clothes you're wearing, and in the meantime, I'll take care of the thing in Gracie's room... Believe me, I'll be with you in no time."

Angry, I crossed my arms in front of my chest, "Forget it, Negan... Either now, or never!"

"Never?" he asked sarcastically, "Darling, we both know that's not true. You need me, just as I need you."

He took a step towards me, and I would have instinctively stepped back, but the stairs were behind me, so I inevitably stood still. Negan's right hand came closer to me, and he began lightly stroking my collarbone with his fingertips, following the movement with his gaze. Of course, he noticed how I almost forgot to breathe under his touch.

"How often do you close your eyes when Steve fucks you and pretend it's me, huh? Tell me, I won't tell anyone..." he whispered.

I shook my head almost imperceptibly and looked at him in disbelief, then he leaned in and whispered with a gentle, gruff voice directly into my ear, "... but it annoys you every time that it doesn't work, that he can't make you feel things, that he can't touch you like I do, right? My darling, I know you better than anyone ever could. I was the first man in you... I'm the only one who has impregnated you twice... And only I can make you come so many times, over and over again."

His words hit me hard, because they held up a mirror to me that I didn't want to see, but at the same time, they sent warm electric shocks through my whole body.

A light slap on my butt brought me back to the present. "Well, off to the damn bedroom," he said firmly.

I grabbed his hand and led him down the dark hallway. After opening the door and turning on the light, I turned expectantly towards him.

"There it is... The same beautiful, slightly nervous smile as our first time." he noted.

29 years ago

While the other girls in my class cut out snippets from fashion magazines and glued them to their walls, my room was wallpapered with posters of various rock bands, and as our classmates tried to get into clubs with fake IDs, my two best friends and I were already thinking of another excuse for our parents to go to the next concert.

For almost two months, I had my first steady boyfriend, and since then, every day was even more adventurous. Not only the fact itself was super exciting, but he was simply the most exciting boy I had ever met. When we first saw each other at a small club concert, I was immediately head over heels in love with this guy that everyone there seemed to know. I was even more surprised when he came straight to me to talk, among all the pretty, older girls. That same evening, we kissed while the band played my favorite song. It wasn't my first kiss, but it was so different from anything I had felt before.

Although he was an absolute chaos and troublemaker who constantly got into fights and arguments, he treated me like a princess from the first moment. There was not a moment in that time when he didn't carry me on his hands and do everything to prove how important I was to him. I knew he had had quite a few, more or less, 'girlfriends' before me and often felt the eyes of the other girls on us when we stood hand in hand at a concert. And that always made me extremely insecure, but he assured me that it was different with me, that I was special.

Since our first meeting, we spent all our free time together.

During the week, we were usually at his house. His family was never there, and we had our peace, while my friends covered for us in front of my parents. So we had enough time to make out, listen to music, and philosophize about everything possible. I had never met a person before who was interested in the chaos in my head. Yes, who even understood it and thought similarly. With each similarity, I fell even more in love with this guy, even though I thought every time that there couldn't possibly be more.

So we were lying together on his bed again. My head was nestled in his armpit, and I watched him smoke while he stared at the ceiling. The fact that he just lit up a cigarette in his room impressed my 16-year-old self immensely.

Suddenly, he looked at me and grinned unmistakably, "You're looking at me as if I were some damn alien or something."

I felt caught, "Not at all... well, maybe a little, you are my boyfriend after all."

I gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. He then withdrew his arm from under my head to position himself sideways and prop himself up on his hand.

"Now you're looking..." I said defiantly, feeling my heart beating even faster.

"You are my girlfriend after all," he said amused and blew the last puff of his cigarette before rolling halfway over me to reach for the ashtray. His body was heavy on me, but I loved feeling him so close. In this position, he looked down at me and whispered softly, "And the most fascinating girl I know."

His gentle words and his strong body on mine evoked feelings in me that I had never experienced before. I wanted more of him.

His hand gently traced my waist, delicately stroking my breasts over my t-shirt. I loved it when he did that. My body trembled with excitement. Then he kissed me, a kiss that quickly intensified.

Suddenly, he rolled off me and pulled me with a swing. Now I was lying on top of him. We smiled at each other. Of course, I could feel how aroused he was by the situation, but I was too. After another kiss, I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Can I ask you something?" he broke the silence after a while.

"Mhh..." I dreamily replied.

"Have you ever pleasured yourself?" he asked bluntly, and I was glad I could bury my face in his shirt so he couldn't see how my cheeks flushed.

"Yes... I mean, yes..." I stammered awkwardly.

"Hey, is it embarrassing for you to admit that in front of me?" he asked, poking me in the ribs with his index finger, making me jump.

I looked up and met his beautiful dark eyes, which meant everything to me. He gently held my chin, so I couldn't lower my gaze.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing in this damn world should be embarrassing for you in front of me, especially not that, understood?" he said so emphatically that I could only whisper an 'okay.'

Reflectively, I bit my lower lip and then said softly, "I... I imagine it's you touching me when I do it..."

His hands trailed down my back and then settled on my buttocks.

"Wow, that's so damn hot," he exclaimed excitedly.

My body trembled slightly as I sat up and decisively took off my top. Now I was just sitting on him in my bra. "I don't want to just imagine it anymore, Negan. I want to sleep with you."

I had imagined so many times what it would be like and every day I thought that something more would finally happen between us than just kissing and a little fooling around. But he never took another step, and I was always too shy. Sometimes I even started to doubt myself because I heard stories from all sides about who Negan had supposedly slept with before me. But the Negan I knew was totally different from all those stories circulating about him.

"Do you really want that?" he asked cautiously, but I nodded decisively and opened my bra.

Negan's eyes wandered between my naked breasts and my face. "Fuck, you're incredibly beautiful... I just don't know what I did to deserve you..."

I leaned in towards him, and as soon as our lips met, a wild, passionate kiss ensued.

Negan rolled over again, so I was lying beneath him, then he took off his t-shirt and continued kissing me. Slowly, he pulled away from me and looked deeply into my eyes, while our noses almost touched.

"Please tell me if you don't like something, promise me... I'll stop immediately if anything makes you uncomfortable," he said decisively, his lips wandering over my jaw, slowly moving to my neck.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling on my bare skin. I loved it and at the same time, I felt a little scared because I was about to have my first time. What if it changed everything between Negan and me? I wanted it more than anything, but at the same time, I had doubts about whether it might ruin everything.

His kisses moved tentatively to my right breast. For the first time, I felt his lips on my delicate skin, and it immediately gave me goosebumps. My nipples hardened, even though I was feeling incredibly warm. My lower body tens ed up, sending tingles throughout my entire body. Restrained, I moaned as his tongue touched my nipple. He circled it slowly, making it so hard that it almost hurt. Then he gently sucked on it. He repeated the same with my left breast, and my upper body arched towards him. He looked up at me happily, "Baby, hearing those sweet sounds from you catapults me straight to paradise; no one on this planet is even close to being as sexy as you."

At his words, I couldn't help but smile and relax a bit more. His fingers lightly trailed down my ribs, tickling me in some places, making me twitch. Eventually, he reached the waistband of my pants and pulled them down slightly. He looked at me questioningly, and I nodded decisively, lifting my hips so he could pull down my jeans and panties unhindered. Now it was time; I lay completely naked before him, my thighs pressed together nervously.

"My princess, to make it feel good for you, you need to relax," he said, gently guiding his fingers down my inner thigh and slightly pushing my legs apart, just enough for his hand to fit between them. My heart raced, and I felt the blood pumping through my veins.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you, I promise! Just like I'll always take care of you," he said emphatically, looking into my eyes as his fingers gently touched my most intimate part. He ran his fingertips over it and then very lightly between my labia. Everything in me tingled like crazy, like the feeling of being in love, intensified a thousand times.

I closed my eyes, pushed my hips towards him, and at the same time, slightly spread my legs further apart.

Negan placed his large, warm hand on my lower abdomen while his right hand thoroughly explored my vulva. When he briefly touched my clitoris, I saw stars before my eyes; the feeling was incredible and incomparable. I felt one of his fingers circling around my entrance.

"Every inch of your body is perfect," he whispered, then slowly pushed his finger into me, kissing my knee, which was slightly trembling and bent next to him. When he added a second finger, I felt myself tightening around him.

"Does that feel good?" he asked confidently.

And my "Yes" came out louder than I had planned. I opened my eyes and saw him proudly grinning.

Unexpectedly, he leaned between my legs and placed a warm, wet kiss directly on my mound. Surprised, I reflexively closed my legs, holding his head. Only when the kiss ended did I relax again, and my boyfriend crawled over me to give me another kiss directly on my lips.

"You can tell me to stop at any time!" he said, looking deeply into my eyes as if searching for an answer.

"I trust you, Negan!" I replied, smiling at him somewhat unsure.

He immediately kissed my nose and then leaned over to the nightstand to get a condom. I didn't care that he had probably been with a hundred other girls in this bed; at that moment, I felt I was special to him. That everything was special. That we were special.

Negan took off his pants and boxers and positioned himself between my legs. I was so excited that I could barely look at his penis. Of course, I had seen male genitalia before; I knew what guys looked like down there. But in this situation, it was something completely different.

"You can touch it," Negan said amused, taking my hand to place it on his hard penis. My fingers gently stroked his hardness, and I watched as Negan followed each of my movements with his eyes.

After a short time, he took my hand and brought it to his mouth to place soft kisses on it. Then he placed it on his hip bone. "If anything is uncomfortable or goes too fast, just push me back... understood?"

I nodded nervously as he put on the condom. However, my hand on his hip wasn't even necessary. When he entered me, he was so gentle and patient that it just felt amazing. He leaned over me, placing soft kisses on my neck as he slid deeper into me. Then he whispered in my ear, telling me how beautiful I was and how good I felt.

When he was fully inside me, he paused in position, whispering so softly that I could barely hear, "I love you."

[yawarakaizai]

pmzai with an equally miserable s/o fem reader

ⵌ IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

SENDER Reader (Fem) RECIPITENT PM Dazai Osamu (BSD) CONTENTS You sit and stare and wait for him to return to you. You've been bad and you've been good. There's nothing and no one that gives you purpose like he. NOTE reader+dazai are 17/18, implications of s/h, slight misogyny, death of parent, it's kind of angsty.. , soft couple, miserable couple, sui/cide mention+ideation COMPANY I'm Not Human At All

A/N ʚ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ɞ th is wa s har d to make b ecause i h ad sOOO OO m any ide as an d my playli st wa s feelin g good an d kept pla y ing song s th at g ave me diff fic ide as ;; th is is sad ,,, i do nt like sa d fics bu t ,,, this is kin d of a ven t? hehe FEE L FREE TO REQ UEST MOR E!

Your tender heart would care for an injured bunny rescued from a bear trap.

You'd nurse the animal as best you could yet it would always die.

Your father was a hunter. He earned your living costs by selling animal hide and what meat he'd have spare after covering what you'll need. Your mother died when you were a little girl.

You were as sweet as your mother.

Your father would tell stories of how She would gaze out on the winter sky and say to Herself, "My daughter will be as snow. Gentle and graceful, yet freezing to those who demand more of what perfect she is already."

When your Mother died, they put Her in a box full of pink carnations and orchids. Surely to counteract the smell of Her decaying corpse, to display Her flesh as something beautiful before her descent under soil to where Her bones will return and fertilise what surrounds.

Rural life in Japan was not for the weak. Which you were.

You picked up what your Mother left behind.

Tending to the chickens in their coops and shearing the sheep, you'd milk the cows and free the rabbits when Father wasn't looking.

Your hands plush with baby fat would clench around your rosary every night and pray like a good girl.

By the time you reached puberty, your features resembled your Mother more than ever before. Your figure changed and as did your father.

He'd sneer at the dress that fit you perfectly just two years ago. You'd become defiant and bold, a rebellious child.

" Father, but why? "

Your protests and argumentative nature would anger him. And now, you weren't a good girl.

Shouting battles always left you sobbing into thick pillows until your throat hurt.

It was at the age of fifteen did you find out what lies beneath your thin flesh and blue pulse.

You are made of bright crimson and spite.

At sixteen, you ran away.

It was impulsive. You forgot how and what happened. You don't want to remember.

Your calves ached and your feet blistered with pain from trudging up and down hills and farms.

You are a mixture of love and loss.

Everything is a blur, and sometimes you question whether running away was the wisest thing to do.

You had collapsed the moment you stepped foot into the city.

A sad, lost soul who ran away from her father.

You had been a..

" Very bad girl. "

The voice startled you enough for you to spill the batter all over your clean white apron.

" Osamu! " You cried out in disbelief, the boy laughing hysterically. " That isn't funny, knock it off. "

In a way, Dazai reminded you of those bunnies you'd rescue in your youth. He was caught and wounded by the claws of Life. And although you may cup his cheeks into your hands and tell him 'You're alive', he had already died before you were able to cradle him to your chest.

" I told you not to wake up early, Y/N! I should have known to not mention my fondness of crêpes to you. "

You felt untamed, wild hair brush against the bare of your neck before soft lips made contact with your jawline. A soft kiss pressing into what was cold. He was grateful to have you in his sad miserable life.

And even if you two were not perfect for each other, you'd both die to watch the world burn.

" I did it on my own accord. " You lied. " You did not. " He calls your bluff like air. You huff in surrender.

Setting down the metal bowl of paste, you turn to face him. You think of the horrors that his empty, black eye must have seen. His other eye, obscured by bandages, was a mystery to you. You respected him enough to not budge him about it.

" I wished to make you something special. "

You confess, certain he already knew your intention. Your boyfriend was simply smarter than many.

" I don't need anything. Coming home to you is enough, bella. '' His hand stretches to you like death.

Your eyes were not as bright as they were when you were little. They reflected the bad girl that you've become. The one that left her sickly impoverished father in treacherous conditions alone because her feelings were hurt.

" Belladonna. "

He'd pull you back into reality when he'd notice you slipping.

" 'samu. You've barely been coming home anymore, okay? Let me do this, just this once for you. " You snaked your arms around his waist and he mirrored your action, twirling you both out of the kitchen.

Dazai was inexplicable to you. He was a man your father wouldn't like. A man your Mother would hate. A man your younger self would despise.

You willingly moved into a shared apartment with the mafia executive after a few months of living in Yokohama. It was him to have picked you up from the streets. Sensing you were worth more than the muddied appearance you showed at that time.

Your one-time use turned into a second-time use, and your second-time use blossomed like a flower in Spring. You interested him.

You both intoxicated each other. Dazai was able to make you feel light. You felt weightless and as fragile as a butterfly. Weak, small and at his mercy.

" Then don't hide yourself away from the kitchen when I'm right here, love. "

By the time your spinning head focused on what was around you again, he had toppled you both onto the living room couch. He loomed over you, fully dressed in his mafia uniform, his stupid tie obscuring your vision until he tucked it between the buttons of his revere blouse.

" What would you do if I were to die? "

" Osamu. Stop that. "

You muttered.

You feel his life. The warmth of his body, the tender flow of blood heating his body as his finger traced patterns into your cheek. Your heart keeps beating.

" Answer me, Y/N. "

You didn't enjoy thinking of your partners demise. You wouldn't mind if you were to die.

The problem was, you didn't want to be alive for your boyfriends funeral, yet you didn't wish for your boyfriend to be alive for yours.

You loved each other to the point it became hate. Hate for how the other made living seem worth it.

Dazai had an eventful life. You did not.

You had no education whatsoever. According to the government, you did not exist. You had no birth certificate. You were no one. You lived hidden in this cramped apartment.

When Dazai was away, it was only you and your thoughts. Your thoughts were a dangerous thing.

" I think I would kill myself too. "

Your voice caught up on an unexpected crack. You were puzzled until your vision became glassy.

" Pretty baby. I'm sorry. " His apology was belated as you'd already begun to sniffle, he lowered his weight on you, turning to lay on his side as he pulled you in close, coaxing you into silence.

" Don't die, 'samu. Not here, not now. " Your sad little beg mused him.

Dazai was all you had left. You were most certain that if you were to part, you would die.

With Dazai, you were still inadequate. Without Dazai, you truly were nothing but a walking corpse.

He thinks that you are something weak and soft, with a fire raging in you that cried to be extinguished before it could spread.

You hush yourself to enjoy the feeling surrounding you. You feel Dazai's ribcage rise with each steady breath he takes. The beating of a heart is somewhere far deep in, and yours is jumping in your throat.

" Not now. " He repeated after you, and part of you wished to believe it.

There was something mystical about Osamu.

Something that warned you to not feed coal to the flame.

And that if you reached your hand in, you'd burn yourself on what was forbidden.

©yawarakaizai 2023 ﹒﹒ reblogs appreciated! requests open :3

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Curious what you'd say about Soap for the character ask game. You haven't really spoken about him as much as the others so I'm curious :O (id love to hear about every single character tho i wont lie to you but i have a feeling you'll get asked about those lol)

@nekrosmos asked for Soap too.

Honestly? There is unfortunately a reason. I lingered around fandom for a good few months before I got involved at all. I saw some behaviour from his fanbase that I didn't like and so I made the conscious choice that he's not a character I'd probably be creating much for. I love the art, happy to support creators, etc. Besides, there are so many delicious, delicious rarepairs to love and create for and plenty of gallant, productive, devoted Ghoapers.

He's quite compelling though, and I've got quite a few thoughts and headcanons, and I'm happy to write prompts with him. A few friends on Discord really love him and I like to create for them too, cause happy friends give me the fuzzies. So, you know, a story idea might grip me by the balls and I'll wack out a long form thing.

favorite thing about them

His journals.

Reading those finally gave me a connection with his character that I hadn't developed previously. But they really show how driven he is, how much he wants to be the best he can be, so he's not a burden, so he doesn't let anyone down. He's constantly striving to earn his place to the point that it kills him in the end.

I think he genuinely struggles with wanting to be liked (as part of 'earning his place'), and I think he is often too much for people. Ghost giving back as good as he gets is a comfortable relationship because the line for Ghost is way, way in the distance; Johnny doesn't have to worry like he does with 'normal' people. Neither of them is fuckin' normal.

Price giving him a chance would have been the first step towards the hero-style worship he has for him. "What? Me? Ye want... me? Aye, aye I will be the best fuckin' dog ye ever had, I will bite my own leg off for ye." Everything Soap does is to prove that Price didn't make a mistake. That he was a good investment. And Price, the sly fucker, knows it. He sees himself there.

least favorite thing about them

I wish they had given him a stronger accent and leaned more into that in the games. In fact, I wish that for all of them.

I also think that Soap has capacity to cause great harm without even realising it. Like, we get glimpses of it; he's nearly court-martialled for punching out a copper. In his single-minded pursuit of something, I reckon there could be a lot of collateral damage.

He lacks confidence but will cover it up by being an arsehole and doing arsehole things (such as smuggling a girl on base to impress The Guys). I say I like "least favourite"; I think this makes him compelling as a character. He's not all sunshine and rainbows. He's just as gritty, professional and flawed as the rest of 'em.

favorite line

"You sick bastard..."

"My kingdom for a suppressor..."

"Price?... This belongs to you, sir."

brOTP

Gaz & Soap

OTP

Uh... none really. Ghost/Soap?

nOTP

Don't have any strong feelings on any.

random headcanon

He's really bad at team sport. He showed no interest in any when he was growing up. Gym? Running? Swimming? Anything where the only competition is himself and his own limits? That's where Soap's head is.

unpopular opinion

Honestly? I don't know which of my opinions would be unpopular. Probably the 'not sunshine and rainbows' one, maybe?

song i associate with them

favorite picture of them

[yonpote]

more tit spoilers yap

i feel like if each tour was a movie in a movie series, then tatinof and ii are parts 1 and 2, wad is a spinoff, and tit is part 3. i think tit is a direct sequel to ii because of the meta nature of the show being amped up as well as the themes of "giving the ppl what they want" vs "taking back what was taken from us" obv being a parallel. and obv wad and tatinof are also Extremely Meta, but the specific ways in which ii and tit are meta in terms of being ABOUT the audience-creator relationship is more overarching, whereas tatinof's meta nature is in it being an explosion of self-referential bits that they know the audience already loves. and wad... honestly idk if i would even call wad meta? it's mostly just self-indulgent, WHICH IS A GOOD THING because it is directly about dan's particular struggles with coping through a world that seems to be getting worse and worse and figuring that you HAVE to keep going and see thru to the other side. which i guess is meta in that its about himself but thats like calling an autobiography meta lmao.

i could be misremembering bc it was such a whirlwind experience for me, but i dont think they ever clarify if they DO believe themselves to be bad influences or not. now i feel like this should be obvious, but just in case it isn't: dan and phil did not make you gay. they maybe influenced you to come out, or influenced your gay fashion choices, or maybe seeing them be openly queer or reading fics about them and seeing shippy art of them stirred something within you to realize that you've been gay the whole time (which is also a joke that they do a couple times where theyre like "no we were STRAIGHT and we BECAME GAY in 2019!")

id love to hear about what was confessed to sister daniel and father philip at other shows i'll be honest i cant remember the confessed sins because i was too busy staring at those thighs im sorry i am just a man i am no better than a man

i have so many thoughts on phil talking by himself. i have so many thoughts about how much love is in that mans heart, both for dan and for us, even if he doesnt wear it on his sleeve all the time.

the rave part of the song was good lmao. it was catchy and fun and the like EVERYBODY STAND UP part was goofy but i had a good time with it. im an internet is here supremacist i think in terms of like, actually liking the song LMAO, if i were to rank all the tour songs it would go:

the internet is here

everything's fine

terrible influence

phil diss track / interactive introverts (IM A HATER SORRY)

[hswriting]

Hard to Love - Part 5 🚦

[Image Alt ID: a three picture collage with a tan background. The first picture is of a shadow. The shadow is on two people kissing. The second picture is another shadow. This shadow is of someone pouring wine into a wine glass. The final picture is of Harry Styles. His arms are crossed and his face is resting on them. He is wearing sunglasses. End Alt ID]

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Masterlist Series Part 4 Part 6

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5.1k words

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April is released from the hospital and is moving in with Harry. Harry tells April how he feels.

CW: SMUT (fingering, praise, p in v sex), mentions of alcohol, wounds, police (Also just a note: I am not really sure how recovery for a gunshot wound works so I am doing my best to find out, but some information may be wrong, especially about recovery time.)

“Are you sure you don’t need anything else? I can go and grab something for you.” Harry offers.

“You’re not allowed at his house. The police kindly collected my things. They have already been delivered at your house and are waiting for us to get there.” I tell him as I sign my discharge papers. I feel like I’ve been here forever. My full time there was about three and a half weeks. I get to leave but have weekly check ins and physical therapy. I’m not allowed to work still for another three weeks.

“I know but if they didn’t grab something that you need-“

“I just need my clothes and shower stuff. I didn’t have anything sentimental.” I tell him. He doesn’t respond. I grab my few word find books and Harry and I walk out of the door.

The police have lessened their presence as the search for Robbie continues. Harry walks me out to his car and we both climb in.

“Anything you want to listen to?” He asks me.

“Can you remember my favorite band from our conversation?”

“That conversation was a whole week and a half ago! How am I supposed to remember?” He asks.

“Oh come on. I remember yours!” I tell him as he types on his phone. My favorite band starts to play through the speakers. “You liar.” I chuckle as he turns it up.

“How could I forget?” He smiles at me. “It’s a bit edgy for my taste but I think that’s how I actually remembered it.” He tells me. It’s not a long drive, but a decent amount of time of us in the car. It gives me time to sing along to the songs, and think about everything that has happened.

Harry has gotten really close the past few weeks. Even when I wasn’t panic ridden or trying to fall asleep, sometimes he would just play with my hair. He made sure I never ran out of puzzles in my books. He also continued to support me through my physical therapy. I needed less and less help as time went on. Eventually Harry was able to let go and I walked on my own. His smile was bigger than mine. I still have a bit of a limp, but they are hoping to help correct it with continued therapy.

Harry has even offered to drive me to my appointments every week. I told him he didn’t have to do that because I could still drive. My bad leg is my left. I drive with my right. My gunshot wound was damaging but could have been worse. It didn’t hit my bone. It just hit tissue. My ribs are still sore but not as bad as they were before. Harry came back with how I really shouldn’t be alone. Just because the police aren’t around as much doesn’t mean Robbie’s threat is gone. It’s very sweet that Harry cares like that.

Two and a half weeks ago I wondered what it would be like for Harry to be a boyfriend. I know I’m still probably not ready to date but Harry has been very kind and sweet. Harry does have a big heart like his sister used to tell him. He’s very scared of being hurt, and that’s why he is so rough around the edges. He wants someone to love him like he loves, and I understand that. Harry is one of the most supportive people I have ever met. It’s hard to believe we were not ever best friends. We have a lot in common in terms of tv shows, foods, and even music despite his comments a few minutes ago.

Harry would be perfect, but just like Harry, I’m afraid of getting hurt too. Harry would never put his hands on me like Robbie did. He wouldn’t even think it. I don’t know that I could trust somebody again after I failed to see the signs with Robbie. He was perfect at first. How did I miss the signs? Would I miss them again? I still like him anyways, despite knowing I shouldn’t.

We pull into a parking spot with a number twelve painted on it. I look over to see the housing unit with a sign that says 10-20. It’s a nice place to live, but a lot of neighbors. There are 60 units in this complex.

“Is there a lot of stairs?” I ask Harry.

“There is. I’m sorry. The elevator is getting fixed at the end of the week.”

“It’s okay. I’ll make it.” I tell him.

“I’ll help you.” He says. We step out of the car and step inside of the small lobby. There is a police officer with my bags of stuff. Harry grabs them and the officer leaves. He says he is going to run them upstairs and then be back to help me. He stresses that I am not to try to go up the stairs alone.

I wait down here and look at the buzzers. There are 10 last names written on the stickers, but only one of them stands out. Styles #12.

I continue to study the names as Harry appears back at the bottom of the stairs.

“Ready?” He asks, slightly sweaty and breathless. He must have ran up all of these stairs. I nod. I grab the handrail and take the first step. “Do you want me to take your arm?”

“Not yet. I’ll let you know okay?” I tell him and he nods. I make it up the first flight of stairs before my leg begins to ache. I stand and rest on the landing for a minute before continuing. Halfway up the second set of stairs I ask for Harry’s help. He gently puts his hands on my arm and gives me extra support. I rest again on the second landing. Harry helps me up the last set of stairs. We reach his apartment door and he opens it for me.

I walk into a small but cozy living room. It’s has a brown couch, a wooden coffee table, a bookcase, and an entertainment stand with a tv, and a game console. Harry shows me back the hallway to the bathroom. He helps me put my stuff where it needs to go. He then shows me to his spare bedroom. The bed in there is made up nicely with white sheets and a red comforter. There is a small dresser at the end of the bed. Beside the bed has an end table with a lamp.

“It’s not much, but for as long as you want it, it’s yours. You can decorate it if you’d like.”

“You want me to decorate?” I ask him.

“Of course. It’s your room. You live here. Do what you want to with it.” He says to me. I feel myself become a little emotional. I haven’t had my own room since I lived with my parents. That was before Robbie. Once I was with him, I wasn’t allowed to decorate or do anything to the house he didn’t like. He would always throw it in my face that he owned it. The possibilities are endless with what I can do to this.

“You alright?” He asks me. I nod.

“It’s been a long time since I was allowed to decorate. I don’t even know what to put up in here.” I say. He gives me an apologetic look when I say this.

“We can go get you some things from the store if you’d like?” He offers.

“I don’t have any money at the moment. Not until I get back to work.”

“I didn’t ask if you had money. I know it’s tight right now.”

“You’re not buying me more stuff. You already got me stuff at the hospital. I’ll get decorations when I can afford it. Speaking of, when I get my next paycheck, how much do you need for rent?”

“I don’t need anything. I’ve got it covered.”

“Harry I can’t live here for free.”

“You can. I make enough to cover the rent and stuff. You just worry about the stuff you need. If you want something special for dinner you gotta let me know so I can get it when I go grocery shopping.”

“Harry.”

“Loopy. I’m not going to argue. Take your first paycheck and buy stuff for your room. I really want to see how you decorate it. Please.” He says sweetly. He gives me those big puppy dog eyes.

“Fine.” I give in. “Don’t buy me anything. I’ll use my next check.” I tell him.

“Good girl.” He jokes. I turn around and begin to unpack my clothes to hide the heat rising to my face. Stupid stupid stupid. “What no funny comeback?” He asks. I tell him no.

I sort my clothes into the dresser and flop myself onto the bed. Harry laughs and comes to sit on the edge.

“Back to the dinner conversation.” He begins. “What do you want for dinner tonight?”

“What are my options?” I ask.

“You can choose whatever you want. If you want takeout that’s fine. If you want me to make something that’s fine too.” He tells me and I take a moment to think.

“Take out tonight and cook another? I’m exhausted.”

“That works for me. Any place in particular?”

“No. You decide.” I tell him. He takes a few minutes to look through the takeout menus he had attached to the fridge with a magnet clip. He finally decides on Chinese. I choose my dinner from the menu and Harry calls it in.

It is soon delivered and we sit down on the couch. Harry turns on the tv and we find a movie to watch.

“I didn’t take you as the romance type.” I tell him and he looks at me with a small smile.

“I can respect a good romance movie. It can’t be just any romance movie.” He replies, his mouth half full with noodles. Gross, but adorable.

The movie continues in the most predicable but amazing way. It makes me long for something like they have.

“What’s that look for?” Harry asks me as I watch the end of the movie.

“Nothing.” I say, lying. It is something. I want something that I know better than to want. He gives me another apologetic look. He doesn’t say anything.

Harry turns off the tv and cleans up our takeout boxes. I brush my hair and teeth. I walk back to my room and lay down in my bed. Harry follows soon after I do. He sits on the edge of my bed.

“Did you have a good day?” He asks.

“Yeah. I’m glad to be out of the hospital.” I tell him, relieved to be in such a soft bed.

“I’m glad you are too. You’ll be back to work in no time.” He says to me. I give him a small smile.

“I’m kind of nervous to go back. Everyone is going to know.”

“It’s okay.”

“People are going to look at me different.”

“April. I’ll be there. No one’s going to do anything okay?”

“You’ll be there?” I ask him.

“Of course. If you still want to work the same shifts as me. If not I can ask for them to be changed.”

“No that’s okay. It will be nice to have you around.” I smile. He smiles back before looking away.

“Good night, Loopy.” He says as he stands up.

“Can you actually stay? I’m just a bit anxious now thinking about work.

“Of course. I didn’t mean to make you anxious.” He tells me, crawling onto the bed beside where I’m laying. He sits with his legs crossed. He places his hand on my hair and begins to play with it. I feel myself begin to relax as his fingers slide through my brushed out curls. My eyes close as I try to fall asleep. We stay like this for a while. I drift off to sleep.

The next morning I wake up to the smell of coffee. I follow the scent to the kitchen to see Harry making breakfast. I see the coffee pot is full.

“Oh, bless you Har.” I say as I grab a mug and pour myself a cup. I add my milk and sugar and sit down at his small table.

“Well good morning to you too.” He tells me. “Dippy eggs?”

“If you don’t mind.” I say. I drink a few sips of my coffee and go find something to wear. I look through my closet and see a short sleeve shirt that I haven’t wore in such a long time. I look up and down my arms. My bruises have completely healed and there is no trace of Robbie left on me.

Butterflies fill my stomach. I haven’t wore short sleeves in a while. I had to my first day in the hospital until they gave me a long sleeve to go under my gown, but I tried to stay under the covers. Now I don’t have to. I can wear a short sleeved shirt. I slip it on, put some leggings on, and head to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror.

I throw my hair up into a ponytail and take a look. The short sleeves are definitely different, but it’s a change I think I like. I I give myself a small smile. This is a small win for me today.

I walk out into the dining room to see a plate made for me and waiting on the table. There are pancakes and eggs on the plate. My coffee has been topped off and the sugar canister is on the table next to my cup. Harry turns around with his plate and takes a look at me. A smile beams across his face.

He is speechless for a moment, but is able to form a sentence after he sits down with his plate.

“I’ve never seen you in a short sleeve before. You look good.” He says, making me smile in return.

“Thank you.” I say to him. “It feels nice to wear one.” My heart leaps at the compliment. We both start to eat.

“How did you sleep?” He asks me.

“It was good.” I say, trying to sound normal. “You?”

“Pretty good. He responds. “I do have to work today, but I get off at six so we can watch another movie or something if you want?” He asks me.

“Yeah. We can do another movie.” I tell him. We finish breakfast talking about what movie we are going to watch later. Harry then goes back to his bedroom and gets ready for work. I find a book from Harry’s bookcase and sit on the couch. I turn on soft music on the tv and begin to read. Harry comes out in his white dress shirt and black pants.

“Now, I don’t have a home phone or anything, but until we can get you a phone, I’m going to leave mine here. If you need me, call the restaurant and I’ll be here okay?” He says, placing his phone beside me on the couch.

“I’ll be okay Harry. You can take your phone.”

“No, loopy. I’m leaving it here. I will survive without it. Just if anyone calls, can you pick it up for me and tell them I’m at work?”

“Are you expecting a call?”

“No, but my mom surprises me sometimes. You’re welcome to talk to her if you want.”

“I don’t know about all of that.” I say nervously. “What do you want me to make for dinner?” I ask him, changing the subject.

“You don’t have to cook.” He says.

“I want to. It will give me something to do.” I tell him. He takes a quick look through the cabinets and fridge.

“I’ve got stuff for chicken alfredo if you are good with that?”

“Simple enough. I’ll do my best.” I tell him. He gives me a hug before he leaves and makes sure to mess up what he can of my hair. I fix it as he walks out of the door.

The day passes by too slowly and I find myself missing Harry. I read for most of the day in between doing my home exercises.

I start dinner a bit before Harry gets home. It finishes just as he is walking in the door. Harry comes in with stress written all over his body. His face looks tired. His shoulders are slumped. He has a bag in his hands.

I look at him with a smile and he gives me the best one he can, even if it is just a small one. He sits his bag on the counter but doesn’t unpack it.

“Dinner just finished. You can make your plate first if you’d like?” I tell him.

“Thank you, Loopy.” He says. He goes and changes into his comfortable clothes. He comes out and makes his plate. I make mine and sit at the table. Harry goes and opens the bag he brought home and reveals a bottle of wine. I am instantly on edge. I feel a shiver go through me.

I cannot stand alcohol. Robbie was always drunk. I don't like what it does to people, but I cannot stop other people of drinking.

Harry brought home a bottle of wine. It's making me pretty nervous even seeing it. I have to keep reminding myself he isn't Robbie.

Harry takes out a wine glass and pours himself a glass.

"Would you like one?" He asks, oblivious to my anxiety. “I had a hard day. I just got it to relax a little. Had some awful customers.”

"No, thanks though." I tell him. We eat dinner in near silence today.

Harry finishes his first glass and pours a second. We finish dinner as he finishes his second glass. We go in and sit on the couch. Harry puts on the movie we agreed upon earlier during breakfast. As the beginning music begins to play, a third glass is poured.

I sit on one end of the couch and Harry sits on the other. He doesn’t seem like he is going to be violent, but with Robbie, you never knew until it happened. He is quite relaxed as his head rests on his hand as he leans on the arm of the couch. Despite this, I am scared. I am nervous. I've never seen him drink.

What is he like when he gets past this next glass, or when he is drunk? I ball my hands to lessen my shaking. Harry wouldn’t hurt me. Harry isn’t violent. Right?

I stand up and go out to the kitchen just to breathe. He isn't even doing anything. He has only had two glasses of wine. Why am I so scared? Why can't | breathe? Harry follows soon behind me as I grab a glass of water.

"You alright?" He asks. He is tipsy, but not drunk. I take a drink of water.

"Yeah. Why do you ask?" I question in return as I set my glass down on the counter.

"You seem off. You're so rigid right now." He says and I suddenly become aware of just how stiff I am standing. My arms are across my chest. I feel how taught and stressed my muscles are. I try to relax my stance. "What's wrong?" He asks. I don't respond. I don't even glance in his direction. I just take another drink of water. I feel his eyes on me.

He takes a moment and just observes me.

"You are acting closed off again, just like you used to do at the restaurant. I don't want you to do that. Talk to me, please?" He begs. I feel guilty for making him feel like I hate him again.

"I'm sorry. It's so irrational." I begin shakily. I look at him after dumping the rest of my glass. "I'm just anxious."

"Anxious?" He asks. He takes a moment. I can tell he is trying to think back about what has happened tonight. I see it click. "Is it the wine, love?" He asks me. I feel my heart jump at the new nickname, but it is quickly washed over with anxiety again. He has never called me that before.

I nod.

Harry quickly disappears and returns with the bottle and his glass of wine. He stands beside me and pours them down the sink.

"You didn't have to do that. It's just something I need to work through and-"

"Don't worry about it. I wouldn't have brought it home and began to drink if I knew." He interrupts.

He steps closer to me. His hands go to rest on my shoulders, but he decides against it and puts them at his sides. "You mean a lot to me, April. I wouldn't do anything intentionally to make you upset."

"I know Harry. I'm sorry." I tell him and I see his face change. He looks sad, like he has so much he wants to say, but doesn't. "Can I hug you, or would you rather not since I probably smell of wine?" He asks. I am unsure of what to say.

"It's- it's not really the smell. It's just how it makes people. They lose control of themselves. It's just scary." | stutter out nervously. "Robbie would always drink. I know you're not him. I feel so horrible because I know you wouldn’t hurt me. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I wasn't using my brain. I won't drink anymore. You have my word." He tells me. He doesn’t try to convince me that he isn’t like that, but I know he wants to. I know he isn’t like that. It’s just my nerves. He is being sweet and kind. He is doing his best to make me comfortable here.

"No. Harry that's not.." I trail off. It isn't what I meant to happen but it's what I wanted. I didn't want to worry about it again. "I didn't mean to make you have to stop drinking, but I appreciate it." I tell him.

"Don't you know l'd do anything for you?" He says with a small smile. I chuckle awkwardly, figuring that it was some sort of joke. I look in his green eyes and he is dead serious. "You deserve to know April." He says softly. My heart melts. He’d do anything? What did I do to deserve that?

"Deserve to know what?" I ask. He gives me a small cute smile and then looks at the floor, finding words he wants to say.

"Do you not see it?" He asks.

"See what, Harry?" I ask him.

"I'm so fucking in love with you that it hurts." He blurts out. "I tried not to like you, but the more time I spend with you I can't help but just fall for you. I loved picking on you before but I realized I love to see you smile more."

Shock passes through me. I thought Harry was just being nice all of this time as my friend, but he likes me? Loves me? I know I was thinking about him but I didn't think I ever would hear the words come from his mouth. I expected it to be one sided. My heart swells. I can’t do anything but smile. The anxiety from before is gone.

"Harry-"

"I know you're just out of a horrible relationship with Robbie. There's no obligation to respond back to me if you don't want to. I just couldn't keep these feelings to myself anymore. I just got to thinking about Gemma. She would want me to date someone who makes me happy. Someone who was able to break down the walls I built for myself. She would adore you. Just like I do." He says. I don’t think I can contain how I feel any longer.

My body moves before my mind can even process what he has said and my lips are on his, taste of alcohol be damned. It's everything l've wanted to hear, but too afraid to chase after. His hands find my hips and pull me closer. The kiss deepens and my hands are in his hair. He lifts me up and sits me on the counter gently. He separates the kiss only for a moment and I can feel a smile on his lips as he catches his breath.

"You're fucking amazing. Don't you know that?" He whispers between us. "Kiss me again." He says and I do. Our hands roam each other's bodies. My hands slip under Harry's shirt and I feel how warm his skin is. We separate again and Harry takes his shirt off.

He has a whole chest full of tattoos that I have never seen before now. My fingers run over the inked skin. Harry just watches me as our chests heave up and down.

Harry brings his hand up to my hair, which has started to fall out of its ponytail. He tucks a piece behind my ear.

“Should we take this to another room?” He asks softly. I don’t think it over. I don’t even try to. I don’t want to overthink this. I don’t want to ruin this. I nod. “Say it, love. I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes.” I breathe. He gently peels my shirt off of me and picks me up. He carries me back to his bedroom and lays me on the bed, careful not to hurt my ribs that have just recently begun to feel better. He hovers over me as he kisses me again. His hands roam my stomach. He finds his bravery and palms my breasts through my bra.

His hands roam my body when he stops at the waistband of my leggings.

“Do you… Do you want to?” He asks me. I look into his eyes a moment before telling him yes. He stands and peels my leggings off of me, revealing my healing wound. He’s careful not to touch it.

“It’s okay Harry.” I tell him as he takes a moment to observe it. “I’ll be okay.” His eyes meet mine, and then look me over.

In this moment, I am glad I match my bra and underwear. This was an unexpected turn of events, but it’s so nice to be wanted. For someone to love you. His eyes run over the scars I have gained on my skin. His lips kiss every single one of them.

“Are you sure you want to do this? We don’t have to if you’re-“

“I want to, Harry. Do you?”

“Of course I do. I just know it was kind of spontaneous and everything. I just want to make sure. I don’t want to lose my friend.”

“I’m right here. It’s okay. You can touch me.” I reassure him. I remember not long ago yelling at him not to touch me. Now I am here practically begging for him to. My underwear is taken off of me, followed by my bra. Harry strips down to his boxers.

His hands run over my body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He plays with my nipples briefly and then his hand slides down. His gentle fingers begin to play with my clit, making me gasp and moan at the touch. Harry kisses me as he continues. He slides down a bit farther and puts a finger in. This takes me by surprise and my back arches off of the bed in pure pleasure.

He slowly pumps in and out of me, making me moan. I try my best not to be too loud in fear of upsetting his neighbors. Harry somehow knows this.

“You can be louder. It’s okay.”

“Your… neighbors” I stutter as he continues, adding another finger as I try to speak. “Fuck.” I moan.

“Don’t worry about that. It’s okay.” He says. I let myself be a little louder, but not much. “You sound so pretty. I want to hear you.” He tells me. He continues, adding a third finger into me and I become a moaning mess.

“Harry please.” I plead.

“Please what?” He asks, his fingers continuing. I feel embarrassed to say it. “Want me to fuck you?” He asks me.

“Yes. Harry please.” I beg. In one swift motion, his fingers are pulled out of me. I’m left feeling empty and I whimper from the loss. Harry looks at me as I lie on the bed. He takes each of his fingers and puts them in his mouth. He cleans each of them off.

“You taste so good.” He compliments.

Harry then climbs off of the bed and opens his bedside stand. He pulls out a condom and opens it. He sheds his boxers and quickly slides it on. he climbs back onto the bed. He kisses me again on the lips and I can taste myself on him. I feel him line himself up with me as we kiss. He slowly inserts himself, a little bit at a time.

“Oh fuck.” I I mumble onto his lips. He slowly goes in some more and my fingers grasp at the sheets on the bed. He eventually is completely inside of me. He isn’t even moving yet and it feels so good. It has been a while since the last time I have done this, and it feels like I could rip open from how big he is. It feels good though. He feels good.

He slowly begins to thrust in and out of me, making my eyes roll to the back of my head. His hand reaches down and rubs circles on my clit.

I feel a knot building in my stomach as Harry picks up the pace.

“Fuck, Harry-“

“Come on me baby. You’re almost there.” He says, and it tips me over the edge. I come undone, but Harry doesn’t slow his thrusts or his hand. He lets me ride out this high. Something I haven’t felt in such a long time.

Harry removes his hand but keeps thrusting.

“I’m so close baby.” He says in my ear. He keeps going and he starts moaning. “Fuck, April. You feel so good. Fuck.” He says. He starts to slow. He pulls out and takes the condom off.

We both lay beside each other. No words are spoken. Just us, skin to skin, holding each other. We lay like that for a while. I don’t even know how long we lay there, but eventually Harry leans up to look at me.

“Do you want to shower with me?” He asks. I nod. We go into the shower and we help wash the mess we made off of each other. After the shower, Harry changes his sheets and we lay down. I lay with my head on his chest and his arms are wrapped around me. I close my eyes.

Who would have thought that Harry and I would ever like each other? Never in a million years would I have pictured it.

I fall asleep in his arms.

- - -

Masterlist Series Part 4 Part 6

[knightyoomyoui]

NewJeans Hanni x Reader - "What's Your ETA?"

It's really not that obvious who's my bias in NewJeans and what's my recent favorite song of them, right? Righttt? ;)

Your attention was diverted by a ringtone from your phone while you were busy drafting the lyrics for a song you were ready to play for your subscribers as a thank-you present for their support in helping you reach the 500K subscriber milestone on YouTube.

When you took it up off the table, the screen on the ID displayed your friend Haerin's name.

As you read over the lines you've already typed, you swiped the phone to the green button to answer and activated speaker mode.

"Hey Hyerin, what's up?"

"YN! Are you busy?" Hyerin asked with a frantic tone.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you sensed some trouble within Haerin's way of talking at you. "Uhh just writing a song here in my house, not that busy though. Why?"

"Good. C-can you talk to Hanni right now?" Hyerin stuttered because of her uneasiness.

"Why? Is there something happened between the two of you?" You asked curiously. "Sounds like you're nervous, did you two fought?"

"No, I-I mean... we didn't but... I think I pissed her off."

"What did you do then... and wait, what's with the loud noise in the background?" You spotted the only noise barrier that's been keeping you two quite hard to understand each other's words at each other's side of the line.

"Well... I'm at the party with Danielle, Minji, and Hyein. We were invited to perform here." Hyerin explained.

"And why's Hanni not with you four?"

"She said she's not feeling well so we did let her rest." She answered. "And now I'm getting worried for her because that girl's probably breaking down right now of what I've told her."

"And that is?"

Haerin sighed and clicked her tongue, massaging her head. "I reported to her that we saw her b-boyfriend here in the party... and he's flirting with another girl here."

Your blood starts to boil after hearing that information. The emotions intensify as it left distaste on you to learn that the bastard who won Hanni's heart against you still had the audacity to cheat on the most precious girl you've ever met in your whole life.

"How long he's been doing that?"

"More than an hour, I suppose."

"Keep your eyes at them. I'm going to Hanni's house and... say my hi also to the girls."

You heard Haerin passed the message to the other three who were just sitting at the same table together. They exclaimed their greeting at you, making you nod and smile at their adorable voices.

"Got it, oppa."

Haerin took the initiation to end the phone call. You closed your eyes and seethed off the anger rising inside of you as the memories brought you back on remembering those times when he always gets to snatch the opportunity and advantage away from you on winning Hanni's attention to recognize your genuine feelings for your bestfriend. You were a man of sportsmanship. Although it is painful that Hanni didn't end up with you, you tried so hard to accept the fact. You swore to self that you will maintain your attention focused at Hanni every day because who knows there will be a time that despite Hanni has already a man with her, there could be an instance that he's gone and that would put Hanni into a sense of loneliness in the midst of darkness... and you want to be the first person who would come and provide her companionship anytime it may be.

And you were right. It did happen, and it was a perfect time for 'I told you so'. You aren't happy that Hanni had to experience this moment, but at the samd you are relieved and glad that because of what that guy did to her already... you have no other choice but to do your role as her bestfriend and a secret admirer to her: pull her apart from him and do your best to prove her better instead.

Hanni deserves everything that is wonderful in this world, and you are willing to give it all for her as much as you can. This is why you have to do it.

Replacing your house attire with a much presentable casual outfit, you went out of your house and drove your car all the way to the destination which is Hanni's residence.

You parked and hurriedly went to the front door as you knocked slightly aggressive. "Hanni! It's me, YN!"

There was no response. You knocked again, a bit louder in fact, and continued to call her name.

"Hanni! Open the door, please!"

You were having growing suspicions and feeling strange that nobody's responding to your calls so you tried to peek on the windows but it was all covered in curtains, preventing you from the interior.

Picking up your phone, you dialed Hanni's number and waited for it as it rang.

"Cmon... pick it up, pick it up." You said as you tapped your shoes on the ground.

A few seconds after, the profile switches to a timer, informing that the respondent reaches the call. You pressed your phone on your ear and began speaking.

"Hanni! Why are you not in the house?"

"What?"

"I'm here in front of your house. Hyerin said that you're sick. Where did you go?"

"S-so she told you about it too?..." Hanni weakly said. You recognized it immediately what she's referring at.

"Yes, and I came here to check up on you but you weren't here. Where are you now?"

"I just left 3 minutes ago from there." Hanni replied. "I'm on my way to the party."

"Party? Wait, what?" You blurted. "Hanni, you don't need to go there. You have to rest!"

"And what! Just let my boyfriend there flirting along with a girl behind my back?!" Hanni frustratedly complained. "No, YN. I have t-to catch him. I'm going to make him regret what he did to me."

"Hanni, wait. Please, are you serious right now? You're going there all by yourself, and you're even sick right now while you're driving!"

"I'm recovering now! But nothing's gonna stop me from getting back at him." Hanni started to sniff, signalling that she's definitely beginning to cry and it pangs your heart listening to her pain. "I-It hurts... why did he do this to me, YN? I tried to be a great g-girlfriend to him but wasn't... wasn't I enough?"

"Hanni, I understand what you're going through right now okay? Even me dislikes what he did but... again, you're still not in a good condition so far and you're going there alone." You emphatized. "I know you have the girls there monitoring him but I just... let me be on your side like I always do for you, Hanni. I want to join and assist you on this because you mean a lot for me."

Hanni's heart swelled at your sweet and kind words. She smiled a little aside from the cruel situation she's in as of now. "T-thank you, YN."

"No problem, Hanni. Now tell me, do you know the location of the party?"

"i know, it was my former classmate's residence which is a close friend of Hyerin." Hanni said. "I-I'll give you the address."

"Alright, I'll try to catch up on you. Just... when you are already there, don't go there all by yourself. W-wait for me, please. Okay?"

"O-okay."

She ended the call and sent the message directly to you. You sighed heavily and lowered your head as the echoes of her pitiful somber repeats inside your head. It motivated you to help her in this current tough time she's dealing at.

You were about to enter the car when a kid suddenly appeared beside you, tugging your pants.

"M-mister, wait!"

"Oh uhm..." You were taken aback at this kid's presence. "Hey, little one. What is it?"

"C-can you get my kite f-from there, mister/miss?" The kid pointed at the kite stuck in the tree placed in front of a house. "Please... I don't want my mom to be mad at me. She made it for me."

You sighed and tightlipped. You are in a hurry, yes... but still your good-hearted soul couldn't resist a poor kid who is afraid of his parents just because he unintentionally lost a kite that is already meant a lot to his entertainment.

"Don't cry now kid, I'll get it for you." You nodded and patted his head. The kid led you to the tree where his kite is twirled and just swaying there along to the breeze of the thin air.

You noticed that the string were just wrapped around the branch and it's that high for you to reach. You thanked that it was not that hard and too much of a time consuming task for you to do.

Climbing the three, you stretched you body to untangle the string carefully on the branch until you finally got a grasp on it with it's straight form, now back at its fixed condition.

You jumped from the tree and stood in front of the kid. "Here's your kite. You can still play with it." you said as you handed it to him.

"Yehey!!! Thank you so much mister/miss!!!" He cheered loudly and you smiled at his bright mood. You patted again his head and return back to your car. 

As you opened the door, you observed that there's a black cat sitting in the roof of your car. You had a staredown with it when it turned its head at you.

You were about to help it go down but it neverminded your kind deed, jumping out of your car by itself.

You just shrugged and entered the car to start driving away.

In the middle of the drive, you removed your focus on the road for a while to switch your music on the radio. It was then you had a glimpse of your gas meter that the fuel of your car is now at a low percentage.

"Oh you got to be kidding me." You groaned.

Fortunately, there was a gas station beside the highway. You went there and refilled you fuel first because obviously you wouldn't like not only yourself taking too much time to reach the party and meet Hanni but also to leave your car there, cause a problem to the other drivers, and have it towed away.

As it got refilled, you thanked the worker and entered your car as you proceeded driving. Remembering Hanni, you contacted her again to get updated. "Where are you now?"

"I'm close. Just a turn at the end and I'll be there now." She answered with a cough after she spoke, confirming to you that she is indeed still not fully recovered yet from her sickness. You felt sorry again for her that she had to go through this and leave her be at peace where she would be rather stay at home and continue resting.

"Okay. I'm on my way now." You stated. Right as you turned off the call, you stopped your car when the other one in front of you did the same, and that's until you realized that you are now in the middle of a traffic.

"BAD TIMING!" You pounded your fist on the steering wheel, causing a honking sound when you hit the horn. Looking back at the time, there's only 9 minutes left before it turns to five in the afternoon. Then, you already knew that you may be a few minutes late since Hanni might have already arrived. You just hope for the best that she won't make a create much of a scene out of catching her cheating boyfriend and that Haerin and the girls would be there to back up her.

You patiently awaited the cars to keep going since you knew that such an annoying circumstance had to develop at the worst possible time when you are in a rush.

There's only 5 minutes remaining in your watch, your desperation urges you to just hop out of the car and run it all the way or just grab a cab through the location instead.

Thankfully, the traffic loosened and the car started to move again, much to your relief but still disappointed that it wasted much of your time remaining.

You successfully made it. The party is still ongoing inside, and you entered the house because luckily there was no guards for you to be questioned if you got any invitation or not.

You went to the backyard and spotted Haerin, Danielle, Hyein, and Minji doing a Super Shy challenge with some strangers, might be their friends you just don't recognize.

As they finished, you called for their names and you drew their attention at you. "YN!"

"Girls!" You exclaimed. "Did you guys saw Hanni?"

"What?" Haerin was puzzled. "Why are you looking for her here? I told you she didn't come with us today, right?"

You facepalmed as you just recalled that she did said that but you never updated her back that Hanni was planning to come in the party.

"Ah shit, I forgot!" You sweared. "So none of you have seen her?"

"YN what is going on?!" Hyein asked, all of them are getting confused now.

"Hanni said she's going here to confront her boyfriend!" Your voice increased, the mix of unknown and nervousness is making you uncomfortable in your stance.

"Huh?!" Minji reacted the loudest. "But we never saw any signs of her around here."

"Then where did she went if that so..." You roamed your eyes around the crowded area as the thoughts only occupied of Hanni attacking your mind in a sense of fear and danger.

"Wait... his boyfriend..." You returned your glances at them. "Where is he?"

"Oh wait!" Danielle exclaimed. "I-I saw him went out of the house with the girl he's flirting with while I was grabbing a food at the kitchen!"

"Then they must be out already, and we lost them..." You slapped your thigh irritatedly as you hissed at your words.

"Wait, unless..." Your eyes sprung up when a possibility just occurred in your head. "Oh no."

"What is it, YN?"

They began calling your name as you quickly ran out of the house while you dialed Hanni's number.

She answered the call. "Hanni. HANNI, WHERE ARE YOU? I'M HERE AT THE PARTY ALREADY. I ASKED THE GIRLS IF-" You paused at your speaking when you heard Hanni crying on the phone.

"Hanni?"

"They were right..." Hanni said between her sobs. "I should've been more aware, now I know why they weren't so okay in their first impression of him..."

She keeps on muttering all her regrets while watching her boyfriend and the girls she's being cheated at kissing beside the house. Hanni is inside the car, sitting on the driver's seat, hands gripping tightly at the steering wheel matched with the intensity of the despair, anger, and dismay she's containing for the sinful act of his boyfriend that she's witnessing.

"Where are you, Hanni? Please, just tell me."

"How could he do this to me... I gave it all, my love... my choice... my trust. I don't know if I could still forgive him, YN."

Her hand starts to hold the stick shift and her feet positioned on the pedal as her lips crunched and eyes dimmed in rage.

You heard an engine revved near at your spot and looked at it.

"YN! THAT'S HANNI'S CAR!" Haerin shouted from the gate, your friends followed you after you began searching for Hanni.

"Yet what I just received in return from him is to break my heart and throw it all in the waste... I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE HE'LL SUFFER WORSE THAN ME!"

She was about to step on the pedal as she screamed in anger when just in time you grabbed her arm, surprising her. You saw that her window is down as you sprinted towards her car.

"Let me go! LET ME GO!"

You opened the car and hugged her instantly. She still tried to force you away from her but the longer you embraced her, the more she starts to calm down and let herself pour all her devastation at you.

"Please, don't. Don't do it, Hanni. You may not deserve what you get, but you don't have to do this. Don't be worse than what he did to you. Let him face the consequences on his own fate."

You helped Hanni get out from the car to allow her breathe some fresh air as you two were joined by Haerin, Minji, Danielle, and Hyein. They gave their friend a group hug to console the heartbroken lover.

Your stare sharpened when you caught the boyfriend and the girl watching the scenario. The girls looked at the direction you are looking at, with Hanni stepping away from the group to finally confront her cheating boyfriend.

"L-look, Hanni... I can exp-"

*SLAP*

The guy touched his aching cheek where Hanni slapped him. "You're done. I'm breaking up with you, and I don't want to see you ever again, do you understand me?", she intimidatingly said with angst.

"H-Hanni... p-please, listen to-"

"She said what she said. Starting today, you stay the hell away from her, you bastard." You grunted as you pulled Hanni back at you again.

Hanni rolled her eyes disgustingly at the girl she's being cheated at before her ex and the girl left. As their figures vanished, she returned on hugging you again as she starts crying out on your body. You stayed there, patting her back to provide comfort at her while your group softly and admiringly watches you two.

"Thank you, YN. I'm sorry if I was stupid to end up with him."

You chuckled and shook your head. "Don't blame yourself. Didn't we all become stupid when we fell in love with somebody. We don't think of the consequences, but rather we look forward at our feelings at first."

"I get it, we just want to try make ourselves oblivious to disregard and escape all the pain we could receive, even though in the end there will always be someone that will enable you to finally wake up in reality to spare you from it... because simply that person just doesn't want to see you suffering any longer." You smiled at Hanni. "You can take it being each of us as your friends including me who also... never gave up loving you." you muttered solemnly at the near end.

Hanni lifted her head and looked at you astoundingly. Her mouth agape, learning that the special boy she's embracing is not only the one who's been very extremely meaningful to her life as her closest friend... but also as the man/woman who was treating her more valuable for so long than what she does, remained loyal and faithful for his/her love to her, even though she didn't picked him/her in the first place and instead chose a bad decision by being with a traitor and didn't cherished all her efforts in return. And that's what she always desired. It's just that she never thought that all of what she's been looking for is already an amalgamation of a perfect lover type... which is you being on her side through most of the times where she needs you.

The girls put up a broadly smile, knowing that you finally got to confess your love for Hanni. Hyerin would never call you right away when they needed a help for Hanni if it wasn't also for that reason.

"Y-you're serious, YN? You meant it?"

You nodded. "I've been loving you for 5 years, 6 months and counting, Pham Hanni. And I never had and will have an intention in my mind that there will be a deadline for me to stop loving you. I just leave it on to my heart that still prefers you as long as I'm living."

Hanni blushed and was touched at your statement. You hugged her again, and she is now feeling your affection in a whole different direction now after your confession to her.

"I know it's sudden and not actually the perfect time for me to do it, but ofcourse I'll give you some time to think about it while you heal your heart." You whispered to her as you caressed her back. "My heart always hurts when you can't let him go because I had this doubt in me that you always deserve better than what he give. I always wanted it to be me, Hanni... but I don't have the control in your life. I'll just be as happy as what you are."

And again, you were the only one who could make Hanni smile in this dreadful day of hers. Her emotions doesn't feel like it weighs her down anymore, because with your presence; everything just helps for her.

It makes her feel amused, complete, and lastly... to be loved uncomparably.

In order to take Hanni home early so she could recover from her increasing health and wait for her sickness to totally subside, you excused yourself from the girls. The girls appreciated their compassion, said you farewell, and advised you to drive safely.

1 WEEK LATER

You were playing the tone of your newly written song in your guitar at the music room of your campus until you officially stopped doing it as you submitted yourself to your bored mood.

Placing down your guitar beside you on the couch, you slumped down and lazily looked around the house thinking of other ways to spend your free time.

An option popped into your mind and you were just hoping that she's also available for today.

You picked up your phone. Your fingertip was about to press down the power button but then your screen lit up, showing the call profile of Hanni, much to your surprise.

Coincidence? You think not.

Smirking at how amazing it was, you answer the call with a large grin in your face.

"Hmmm hey, Hanni how are you?"

"Doing fine but I'm bored right now." She said weakly. It was evident to her voice, but you chuckled again as how the mindset of you both were unknowingly similar. "Really? Because I am too, honestly." You replied. "I was just playing my guitar here and it doesn't please me still."

"Well I'm here building a puzzle and it doesn't help. So I just picked up my phone-"

"Yeah, I did too after-

"I think about you."

Both of you were stunned that you two said the same thing together. You blushed at smiled, with Hanni also reacting as you.

"You know, I find it pretty impressive that both of us were like sharing the same mindset these days."

Hanni laughed at your comment. "Yeah you're right. Well everything has a reason, right? We just have to give it some sense, so maybe... I guess we're just really that specially related."

You nodded, beaming a smile as you agreed at her opinion. "I guess we are."

Both became silent as you let the moment sink in to yourselves, having to hear the voices that belongs to the one that is being held dearly by each other's hearts again which was easily effective to uplift your spirits and lighten up together's moods.

"You're free today?"

"I am. Why?"

"Perfect. What do you say? We can go wherever you like." You smirked at your suggestion. "Just say the words and I'm down, Hanni. "

Hanni didn't think twice about it, it was already a great idea to be with you and she wouldn't hesitate to just let it across. "Well, all I need is you on my side so we can go whenever you like too, YN."

You were glad at her answer. "Just tell me now where are you and what's your ETA so that I could prepare while I wait for you, YN."

It was like every time when you were about to spend your time with her, she tests you how fast you are on preparing yourself to meet up with her...

... and this day might be your fastest so far.

---------------------------

You and Hanni were waiting for your orders to be served inside a fine restaurant you two have decided to try around the mall.

While you are watching the movie that is being showed in the TV screen, Hanni distracted you not only by her question but also with her actions.

She rolled up the sleeve in your arm to see your bandaged wrist. "This took me since earlier when we rode your car, what happened to this?"

"N-nothing." You shook your head and gently pulled it away, hiding it back on your sleeve. "Just got into a little accident, wounded in result."

Hanni nodded and patted your hand. "Try to be careful next time, okay? It's good that you applied it first aid already."

You flinched with a teasing smirk. "Ofcourse, I am. I'm a grown up now, mom."

Hanni bonked your head and pouted sulkily. "OUCH! Okay, I'm sorry!"

"No, that won't do." She swayed her head, rejecting your apology.

"Then what should I need to do, huh?"

"Buy me an ice cream." she requested with puppy eyes as she said it with anticipation.

"Pft. Basic." You scoffed, taking out your wallet from the pocket. "Deal accepted."

"No, I'm not done yet."

You slumped your shoulders as you stared at her ridiculously. "What do you want too, missy?"

She tapped her cheek repeatedly as she presented it to you. You were flustered, trying to deny if she's actually requesting the same thing you're thinking.

"I'm waiting, YN... or we're gonna go home very quickly after we eat~"

You can describe any synonym of "terrified" after she said that, prompting you to land your first kiss in her cheek, as there's going to be no way you two would ruin this day just because you chose stubborn and dense at her hint.

"That was as good as I expected." Hanni winked at you before she returned her focus back at her phone, leaving you sheepishly grinning and blushing intensely on your seat.

As your ordered dishes finally arrived in your table, she lead the prayer before both of you started to feat on each other's foods.

You were gonna pick up the fork until you had a glance on your wounded wrist again, and you recalled the question Hanni gave to you according with that... in which you didn't gave her a proper answer.

She must not know. It's for the better, you thought. You had to lure her away from the darkest secret you just made for the rest of your life.

From what you actually did behind the wound that was left within you as a cost of your unforgivable action.

You'll try to keep it with you as long as it requires to be, but if there's a time she learned about it; you already are willing to take all the responsibility to face her with it.

You ate with Hanni and gave her the same delighted yet forced reaction to the delicious taste of each other's food...

...while the guilt of killing her ex-boyfriend three days after Hanni broke up with her by running the car straight towards at him when he was alone walking in the street. You were stalking him for days, searching for a perfect opportunity to do the favor instead for Hanni on what she almost attempted.

You brought his body in your car's trunk and threw secretly on the cliff to dispose him off. That's where you also noticed the wound in your wrist left by him possibly from the struggle he tried to do to fight you back as you were about to leave from the place. All of it lingers in your head while Hanni is just enjoying her meal in front of you, no clue that her current love interest has just sacrificed him/herself to seek for blood in revenge for the guy who broke her heart and made her miserable.

[aceofstars0]

Two doodles I did in excitement of techno's new video

🩸🐷👑 The blood hashira ~

Rant under the cut about how much he meant to me vv

I never thought id ever say "technoblade's new video again". I said goodbye to new technoblade content 2 years ago. None of this has ever felt real, I still remember listening to him say he had cancer, waiting for him to say "nah, I'm just messin' with ya". I'm still waiting for that video. The few days after I watched that, I was thinking about it nonstop and I remember listening to dream's new (at the time) song "change my clothes" while helping my brother move into his dorm, just trying to process it all and tell myself it would be alright. I know, it's a dream song, but it was comforting nonetheless.

When the video announcing his death came out, I didn't even watch it. No matter how hard I wanted to deny it, I knew what had happened without even watching the video. My sisters asked if I had heard a few hours later while I was still in denial. My closer sister isn't at all into mcyt, and she said she watched it and cried. I texted my brother, he said he cried. We all cried. I knew if I watched it then I wouldn't be able to think of anything positive for weeks, and I had just gotten out of a rough patch and didn't want that. So I spent the whole day and day after existing and processing.

During COVID, he and the dream smp (as well as Akira) were my saving graces. It was such a boring summer since no one could do anything and I remember watching the dream smp for hours on end, giggling in the couch, drawing shitty doodles in my sketchbook to help me sleep. It kept me sane. And my favorite - technoblade. He was so funny, so witty, so funny, I loved his "technoblade never dies" bits, all the selling out, all the begging for money, I loved everything he did.

During my doodle sesh I got curious to know what the video was about. I knew it would make me cry. Hard. And boy I did. When he talked about techno's last note to us and dying 3 hours later...... I cried. I cried harder than any show has made me cry (not more than school, but that's pretty hard to top).

I still go back from time to time to rewatch his old videos. I still get a kick, and since I don't think I'll ever fully process that he's gone, I can watch simply for fun and not... Cry.

We miss you, king.

[sadhatter]

You Right - Kuroo Tetsurō x Reader

A/N: Im rewatching Haikyuu and Kuroo is just everything I want in a man period. Doja has been in my ears for a while now and I really wanted to do a fic based on one of her songs, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I like writing it.

Also, You're the captain of the girls volleyball team at Karasuno. Yui Michimiya is your ace.

Reader is small and curvy

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurō (Haikyuu) x Reader

Order: Pastry with Blueberry Jam and a hint of Raspberry Jam

Warnings: !!CHEATING!! (if you dont like the idea of cheating on another mc then id suggest moving away from this fic) teasing, implied smut, daichi slander (i love daichi but for the sake of the story daichi a dick)

Blurb: You and Kuroo have had a thing on the side for a while. But when your boyfriend Daichi has finally tipped you over the edge you go to the one man who was there for you through it all.

Word Count: 3684

(Y/N) POV

I was pushing through the crowd, hearing different people yell out to me to watch where I was going. But none of that mattered. I needed to get to the gym before the coach hanged me from the rafters for being late. I begged the coach only a week ago to let the Karasuno girls' volleyball team attend the training camp with the boys, and now I'm pushing through the different groups, dawned in different school jackets, trying to make it to the game on time.

We were set to play against Nekoma High. Their girls' team is pretty strong, but the Karasuno Girls have been the regional reigning champs for the past three years. As I finally saw the gym come into focus, I could see a figure waving her arms and screaming at me.

"(Y/N)! Hurry up! Coach is pissed!" Yui yelled out, causing me to go from a light sprint to full speed. I definitely compromised my ability to play, but what was I meant to do? Even though I was the captain, I was already on the coach's shit list for pleading to come here.

It took a lot of convincing and ass-kissing to come here today. While the team I had at the moment was the best I've played with, I want them to go further than I could ever take them. I could only ever take them to state, but I know they can make it to nationals and much more. So, this training camp is a way to help these girls grow their skills without me. I finally made it to the doors of the large gym and pushed them open, Yui following close behind me. Running through the halls, I threw my bag off my shoulder and passed it to Yui.

"How pissed are we talking?" I asked, pulling the jumper I had on over my head.

"Pissed, like you will be cleaning the gym for the next month pissed," Yui replied, both of us out of breath at the sheer speed we were both moving.

"Fuc-oof." Just as I was cursing to myself, I ran into something resembling a wall. Due to the fabric over my head, I couldn't see what I ran into, but the voice that rang out soon caused blood to rush directly to my face.

"If you're Yui, that must mean," The voice started as I continued to pull the rest of my jumper over my head.

"Kuroo."

"Dove, ahh, your shirt," he said, covering his face with his hand. Confused by his proclamation, I saw that my top had gone with my jumper, leaving only my sports bra and cleavage on display.

My head went even more red than before as I pulled the shirt from the jumper and back over my head. Kuroo Tetsuro did things to my body, unspeakable things, but I was determined to keep my composure.

After all…

"(Y/N)? What are you doing? Coach is going to kill you."

I have a boyfriend. Daichi Sawamura.

After pulling me through the doors of the court I was playing on, I felt a slight praise and a light kiss on my forehead. Finally, I realized the heat from my face hadn't left from my encounter with Kuroo. "This is why you are not late." Daichi almost spat out.

After he moved away from me, I looked toward my coach or my mother, whose face was as red as Nekoma's uniform. Like mother and daughter, but we were red for two different reasons.

"(Y/N) (M/N) (L/N)! You get on that court now before I revoke your title and drag every one of your teammates back to Karasuno!" She yelled at me, instilling absolute fear in my veins, afraid of the punishment I would be receiving later.

Kuroo's POV

Of course, I saw him—I was just playing against him and his team. But where was she? I heard him gloating about her being here earlier, so did she leave? I was really hoping she could see me destroy her boyfriend and his team.

"Kuroo?" I heard Kenma's quiet voice call out as he slowly approached me. "You seemed distracted?"

"I was hoping someone would be here, that's all," I replied, moving toward the middle of the court to shake hands with the opposing team.

"She has a boyfriend, Kuroo. You should back off. So no drama is caused." Kenma replied, lining up next to me.

"I'll back off when she tells me to," I told him with a slight smirk as I finally made it to the man of the hour. "Good game, captain," I told him, holding my hand towards his and grabbing it firmly.

"You too," he replied, letting a secret fire light behind my eyes. I knew that I wasn't only better at Volleyball but also at making his girl pleased. I knew things about her no one would ever know—not even her little boyfriend, Daichi Sawamura. Grabbing my gym bag and water bottle, I started to push my way through the small crowd on the court to move towards the door.

"KUROO!" An annoying, loud ringing sang through my ears. Almost making me believe I was hearing a fire alarm. But when I moved my eyes towards the sound, I saw the Nekoma Girls captain running towards me at full speed.

"Hi, Yuki." The tone that rang through my cords was utterly dissatisfied. "Playing next?" I asked her nonchalantly. I'm not trying to make a conversation, but I obviously wasn't getting out of this, so it's better to talk than stand in silence.

"Yeah against Karasuno," One word, and my interest is peaked. "We will definitely beat them this time. I can feel it."

My attention started to fade towards the end, but all I knew was that they definitely wouldn't beat Karasuno—not with her on the team. Speaking of her, I'm seeing the rest of her team but not her. Now that I'm noticing it, they all seem to have a worried look on their faces. It's like they knew she was their savior, and they wouldn't be able to win without her.

My eyes landed on her best friend, Yui Michimiya, who kept looking at her phone and then at the door. My attention started to move towards the group of girls crowding around me before I heard a slight ding. I looked back at Yui, who was looking at her phone, before quickly bolting out the doors.

"So Kuroo, the girls, and I considered having a party to celebrate when we win. Will we see you there?" All I heard was decibels, words I didn't comprehend as I laid one of my hands on one of their heads, quickly affirming whatever they said, and moved towards the doors. Walking through the propped-open doors, I turned the corner and immediately came in contact with something small and light. Looking down, I saw black fabric covering the top of a small frame.

I immediately knew who it was by examining the small frame and seeing the curves that adorned the small body. After all, my hands have roamed those curves multiple times, enough to learn every scratch and bump that coats her beautiful skin. Looking at her larger thighs, my eyes locked onto the way the tight booty short squeezed the fat around her ass. Perfectly framing her lower extremities. I looked behind her to see Yui smiling slightly but out of breath. Yui knew about my relationship with her best friend; she disapproved of how we were going about it.

"If you're Yui, that must mean," I started as the more petite frame pulled the rest of the jumper over her head. Showing beautiful (H/C) hair that was slightly messy from the jumper. Georgus (E/C) eyes peering through her lashes and sweet plump lips pushing shallow breaths out as she caught her breath again.

My beautiful (Y/N). My dove.

"Kuroo." The way her voice rang my name sounded like an intoxicating symphony. While I still adored the way she sang my name, when she cried my name, it sent me into a feral state. My eyes trailed down her body again, thinking about what I would be doing to her later. When my eyes landed on her exposed cleavage, I finally realized her shirt came off with her jumper.

"Dove, ahh, your shirt," I told her as I threw my hand to my face to try and cover the growing heat that was forming on it. Between split fingers, I saw her face go even redder before quickly putting her shirt back on.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing? Coach is going to kill you." Daichi finally made his way out the doors. Took him long enough to notice his girlfriend was missing. I watched her move past me towards Daichi and into the gym.

My eyes met Yui's as she moved towards me. She sighed before stopping—only for a moment, though, placing a hand on my bicep. She told me that she thought I suited her best friend and felt terrible for me. "You're better for her; you challenge her. And that's what she needs, but Daichi has been by her side since they were toddlers. He's the same; you're the change she's scared of," she told me before making her way into the gym to join her team.

That made me think—a lot within the span of 5 seconds. (Y/N) and I have known each other since our first year of High School at our first training camp. She was already with Sawamura, but quickly, I noticed the way she always found herself around me.

It wasn't until later in the year at our second training camp that I realized Sawamura barely paid attention to her. So, once again, I found her being around me more. She slowly opened herself up to me, and it went from a small attraction to actual feelings.

The second year is when we actually start to act on our emotions. For example, in our second year, (Y/N) decided to stay in the prefecture for a couple of nights, and I ended up in her bed on more than one occasion. Ever since, there have been secret nights, stolen glances, and kisses in the dark.

I was enough until the start of this year. Sawamura started using her as a tension blow-off. She wasn't his girlfriend anymore; she was his toy. While she didn't want to see it, the more she told me what would happen during the day, the more it became apparent. After multiple outings with our mutual friends and long chats with her best friend, I learned she's petrified of change. I don't push her, though; I will let her go at her own pace for as long as she needs.

"Wanna grab a feed?" I heard Sawamura speak out as I saw him walk past me. Where was he going? (Y/N) was about to start her game. "You know your girlfriend is about to play, right?" I called out, watching him and Sugawara stop in their tracks. They both turned around, but Sugawara had a sadder look than Sawamura.

"I've seen her play so many times; this time will be no different," he said with a slight shrug, but his demeanor told me he had no clue what was wrong with what he had just said. He turned back around, leaving Sugawara looking at me sadly.

(Y/N) would tell me how much Sugawara has been there for her when no one else was, and I will forever be grateful for it. Though he doesn't outwardly know about the two of us, I believe he knows my feelings for the Karasuno Girls captain.

Screw it; if he won't be there for her, even for something as small as a training camp game, I'll be there for her. She deserves the whole world, but at the very least she deserves a cheerleader.

(Y/N)'s POV

Half way through the game coach called a time out so everyone could collect themselves again. It wasn't until my focus wasn't on the game or my girls that I noticed that most of the boys from the Karasuno team were still around, watching the game, but Daichi was nowhere. I scanned the side of the court, nothing. Near the door, no one. The bleachers though, my eyes landed on another pair. Not Daichi's though.

"Kuroo." I whispered to myself as emotions I couldn't even name washed through my body. But we were playing against Nekoma, so he's probably here to support them.

"Okay girls! Get out there and show them what you got!" Coach called out as the rest of the girls made their way back onto the court. "(Y/N)." I heard my coach call out, but not as coach, as my mother.

I turned to look at her and the glance in her eyes told me she knew my feelings but that I needed to focus right now. So many words with one look. I understood and shook my head and made my way back to the court.

After every point I scored. Every block. Every save. I looked at him. He would already be looking at me. Every. Single. Time. Every glance rose the question. Why wasn't I with him. Why was I with someone who couldn't even take the time of day to watch my games.

The game ended rather quickly after those thoughts. I was running on auto pilot. I didn't even realize I had won us the game until I felt multiple bodies tackle me to the ground.

Just like Yui predicted, I was cleaning the gym after our game as it was the last of the day. And let me tell you, cleaning a stadium with 3 courts isn't easy to do by yourself. I'm just lucky coach asked me to clean this stadium instead of the Karasuno court. The boys don't know the meaning of cleanliness apparently.

"Need help?" I heard a sweet, coarse voice echo through the stadium. I turned to face the doors to see a tall, muscular man. Dawning beautiful black hair and piercing honey eyes.

"Where did you get to? I was looking for you after the team meeting but you went missing?" I paused in my tracks, leaning on the broom I was using to sweep the floor.

I watched as he stalked towards me, stopping only a couple inches in front of me. His cologne stung my nostrils in an intoxicating way. The way his body towered over mine made me feel hunted yet protected at the same time. The feelings I get with Kuroo are addictive, while what I feel for Diachi is comfortable.

"I went to get us these." He cooed quietly as he pulled both of his hands from behind his back, showing my favorite drink in the entire world.

"Ugh, I knew there was a reason why I liked you." I told him as I dropped the broom, letting it fall to the ground and echo around us as I grabbed the drink from Kuroo's large, firm hand.

"You played really well today."

"So you were there for me?" I said with a slight smirk as we made our way to the bleachers. Teasing Kuroo was one of my favorite pass times.

"Of course, no one on Nekoma's team has an ass like yours." He said nuding me to the side slightly. My mouth dropped in a joking shock.

"So I'm just a body to you am I?" I said as I moved in front of him and threw my leg at him, slightly kicking him as we both laughed.

We chatted, nothing sexual. Just talked. Thinking about it, I don't remember the last time I was just chatting with Daichi like this. These days he only ever talks to me if he needs something. We talked for nearly an hour before we heard the doors slam open.

"(Y/N)! What the fuck!"

"Daichi"

Kuroo's POV

"(Y/N)! What the fuck!"

"Daichi," (Y/N) said calmly. Almost like he's addressed her like this before.

"What are you doing in here alone with him!"

"Why can't I be?"

"Because you're mine! What sort of person are you parading around with other men?" The utter disgust that was being spat from Sawamura's mouth was like poison to hear.

How dare he speak to her like that, but when I turned to comfort (Y/N), her expression was stern—unwavering, in fact. He's definitely spoken to her like this before, and that fact irked me to my core. I'm about to stand up and give him a piece of my mind when I feel a small hand graze my bicep. I go to look at the girl the hand belongs to, but she's already on her feet and standing in front of Sawamura.

"So because I was your girlfriend, I belonged to you?" she started quietly but loud enough for both of us to hear.

"Was? Was my girlfriend. (Y/N) you are my girlfriend." Daichi exclaimed, almost like he was forcing a role onto her.

"No, Daichi, I was right the first time." She told him, with an undertone of authority. I was your girlfriend, meaning I'm not anymore. You do understand what it means, right?"

The struggle to suppress my laughter was profound. (Y/N) She sounded so done, done with him, done with the way she was treated, and just done with everything that had to do with Daichi Sawamura.

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid."

"Well, you must be. I have been your pet, toy, and slave. I have always been there for you, especially when you couldn't be there for yourself. I WAS THERE! And where have you been in the past three years? Not with me, that I know for certain."

"(Y/N).."

"No, Daichi." She cut him off, moving closer to Sawamura and causing him to step back. We're done."

Two words and my ears are feeling bliss. I watched (Y/N) turn on her heel and look me directly in the eyes. She grabbed my hand and smiled slightly before turning back around and walking away—away from the stadium, away from the gym, but most importantly, away from someone who made her feel less than and towards a brighter future for herself.

Luckily, she's kept her hand firmly gripped to mine, bringing me with her.

(Y/N)'s POV

I was on the warpath, pushing through the thick air that was pulling me back to the gym to apologize for what I said. But why apologize for something I meant? I was sick of being pushed around by him.

"(Y/N), can you do this for me"

"(Y/N), I don't have time."

"I need to practice another time."

That's all I've heard from him for the past three years. Ever since we started Karasuno, it's like he changed. He wasn't the Daichi I fell in love with at such a young age. He wasn't the Daichi I made plans for the future with. He wasn't my Daichi, though.

"(Y/N)..."

It's like an echo called out my name through the endless thoughts and memories that ran through my mind.

"(Y/N)..." The echo got louder.

"DOVE!" It finally hit me. Kuroo. I dragged him through all this. Why did he even let me drag him? He could easily overpower me. He's done it plenty of times before. "Please stop, just for a second."

"I am-" I started, pausing and letting go of his hand as I slowly turned to face him.

"Dove?"

"I am terribly sorry!" I yelled slightly, throwing myself into a bow to apologize for putting him through that scene.

"What for?" I felt his hand touch my chin and push my face to look into his eyes. Those eyes—how I wished I had been looking into them for the past three years, actually looking into his eyes and not through hooded, lustful lids.

"You shouldn't have had to see that. But I'm more sorry about the shit I put you through all these years. Being second to Daichi." I told him, my eyes moving from his, looking everywhere but his eyes.

"(Y/N), you mustn't be the brightest if you think you put me through anything." He started in a quiet and gentle tone. A tone I hadn't heard in a while. But when it's from him, it's different. I feel protected. I feel safe. "I knew you and loved admiring you from the side and having you to myself in the quietest moments."

His words, their meaning, held great depth—deeper than the deepest parts of the ocean—and I was truly feeling everything he wanted me to.

"This relationship hasn't had the most trustful start. But I'm willing to try if it means I get to call you mine—to everyone and not just myself." He grabbed my cheek, pressing his forehead against mine, forcing eye contact. I couldn't help it. The feelings and emotions I was feeling were heaven. Kuroo made me feel a way no one has, not even Daichi. Kuroo was chaos, and sometimes, you need that in your life.

My body moved by itself. My lips smashed against Kuroo's. My arms are wrapped around his neck, his hands straight to his hair, and he pulls it the right way. The way I know sends him feral. I felt him sink into the heated make-out session quickly. Moving in sync with me, made for only each other.

"I'd try anything with you," I breathed out as I pulled apart from his lips. Our breaths were even in sync. How insane was I to think I was made for anyone but the man in front of me?

"Watch your words, Dove. We're still in public." He smirked lightly, giving me another quick peck on the lips before staring intensely into my eyes. Looking through his honey eyes, I could see the way he felt about me. I was peering directly into his soul, and he was in mine. The tension between us was thick to the point where oxygen even struggled to make it through.

Again, my body moved by itself. I grabbed Kuroo's hand and dragged him behind me again. I was on an even worse warpath. But instead of going away from something, it was towards something better.

Finally, the hotel, the room, and the bed were in sight. I pulled Kuroo into my room and pushed him onto the bed. "Would you look at that? We were not in public anymore."