sadhatter

[sadhatter]

x (Y/N) as TikToks I have saved

Hi hi, this will be a new series of mine. I hope to add 5-10 Tiktoks each week, but they can be very time-consuming.

Every single one of these TikToks aren't mine. Links to original videos and creators will be linked with each video.

The only thing I add to these videos is captioning, If any of the creators come across these posts and would like me to pull them down, please message me privately asap so I can get that fixed for you.

I hope everyone enjoys.

JJK | Jujutsu Kaisen

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11]

more to come...

[sadhatter]

You Right - Kuroo Tetsurō x Reader

A/N: Im rewatching Haikyuu and Kuroo is just everything I want in a man period. Doja has been in my ears for a while now and I really wanted to do a fic based on one of her songs, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I like writing it.

Also, You're the captain of the girls volleyball team at Karasuno. Yui Michimiya is your ace.

Reader is small and curvy

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurō (Haikyuu) x Reader

Order: Pastry with Blueberry Jam and a hint of Raspberry Jam

Warnings: !!CHEATING!! (if you dont like the idea of cheating on another mc then id suggest moving away from this fic) teasing, implied smut, daichi slander (i love daichi but for the sake of the story daichi a dick)

Blurb: You and Kuroo have had a thing on the side for a while. But when your boyfriend Daichi has finally tipped you over the edge you go to the one man who was there for you through it all.

Word Count: 3684

(Y/N) POV

I was pushing through the crowd, hearing different people yell out to me to watch where I was going. But none of that mattered. I needed to get to the gym before the coach hanged me from the rafters for being late. I begged the coach only a week ago to let the Karasuno girls' volleyball team attend the training camp with the boys, and now I'm pushing through the different groups, dawned in different school jackets, trying to make it to the game on time.

We were set to play against Nekoma High. Their girls' team is pretty strong, but the Karasuno Girls have been the regional reigning champs for the past three years. As I finally saw the gym come into focus, I could see a figure waving her arms and screaming at me.

"(Y/N)! Hurry up! Coach is pissed!" Yui yelled out, causing me to go from a light sprint to full speed. I definitely compromised my ability to play, but what was I meant to do? Even though I was the captain, I was already on the coach's shit list for pleading to come here.

It took a lot of convincing and ass-kissing to come here today. While the team I had at the moment was the best I've played with, I want them to go further than I could ever take them. I could only ever take them to state, but I know they can make it to nationals and much more. So, this training camp is a way to help these girls grow their skills without me. I finally made it to the doors of the large gym and pushed them open, Yui following close behind me. Running through the halls, I threw my bag off my shoulder and passed it to Yui.

"How pissed are we talking?" I asked, pulling the jumper I had on over my head.

"Pissed, like you will be cleaning the gym for the next month pissed," Yui replied, both of us out of breath at the sheer speed we were both moving.

"Fuc-oof." Just as I was cursing to myself, I ran into something resembling a wall. Due to the fabric over my head, I couldn't see what I ran into, but the voice that rang out soon caused blood to rush directly to my face.

"If you're Yui, that must mean," The voice started as I continued to pull the rest of my jumper over my head.

"Kuroo."

"Dove, ahh, your shirt," he said, covering his face with his hand. Confused by his proclamation, I saw that my top had gone with my jumper, leaving only my sports bra and cleavage on display.

My head went even more red than before as I pulled the shirt from the jumper and back over my head. Kuroo Tetsuro did things to my body, unspeakable things, but I was determined to keep my composure.

After all…

"(Y/N)? What are you doing? Coach is going to kill you."

I have a boyfriend. Daichi Sawamura.

After pulling me through the doors of the court I was playing on, I felt a slight praise and a light kiss on my forehead. Finally, I realized the heat from my face hadn't left from my encounter with Kuroo. "This is why you are not late." Daichi almost spat out.

After he moved away from me, I looked toward my coach or my mother, whose face was as red as Nekoma's uniform. Like mother and daughter, but we were red for two different reasons.

"(Y/N) (M/N) (L/N)! You get on that court now before I revoke your title and drag every one of your teammates back to Karasuno!" She yelled at me, instilling absolute fear in my veins, afraid of the punishment I would be receiving later.

Kuroo's POV

Of course, I saw him—I was just playing against him and his team. But where was she? I heard him gloating about her being here earlier, so did she leave? I was really hoping she could see me destroy her boyfriend and his team.

"Kuroo?" I heard Kenma's quiet voice call out as he slowly approached me. "You seemed distracted?"

"I was hoping someone would be here, that's all," I replied, moving toward the middle of the court to shake hands with the opposing team.

"She has a boyfriend, Kuroo. You should back off. So no drama is caused." Kenma replied, lining up next to me.

"I'll back off when she tells me to," I told him with a slight smirk as I finally made it to the man of the hour. "Good game, captain," I told him, holding my hand towards his and grabbing it firmly.

"You too," he replied, letting a secret fire light behind my eyes. I knew that I wasn't only better at Volleyball but also at making his girl pleased. I knew things about her no one would ever know—not even her little boyfriend, Daichi Sawamura. Grabbing my gym bag and water bottle, I started to push my way through the small crowd on the court to move towards the door.

"KUROO!" An annoying, loud ringing sang through my ears. Almost making me believe I was hearing a fire alarm. But when I moved my eyes towards the sound, I saw the Nekoma Girls captain running towards me at full speed.

"Hi, Yuki." The tone that rang through my cords was utterly dissatisfied. "Playing next?" I asked her nonchalantly. I'm not trying to make a conversation, but I obviously wasn't getting out of this, so it's better to talk than stand in silence.

"Yeah against Karasuno," One word, and my interest is peaked. "We will definitely beat them this time. I can feel it."

My attention started to fade towards the end, but all I knew was that they definitely wouldn't beat Karasuno—not with her on the team. Speaking of her, I'm seeing the rest of her team but not her. Now that I'm noticing it, they all seem to have a worried look on their faces. It's like they knew she was their savior, and they wouldn't be able to win without her.

My eyes landed on her best friend, Yui Michimiya, who kept looking at her phone and then at the door. My attention started to move towards the group of girls crowding around me before I heard a slight ding. I looked back at Yui, who was looking at her phone, before quickly bolting out the doors.

"So Kuroo, the girls, and I considered having a party to celebrate when we win. Will we see you there?" All I heard was decibels, words I didn't comprehend as I laid one of my hands on one of their heads, quickly affirming whatever they said, and moved towards the doors. Walking through the propped-open doors, I turned the corner and immediately came in contact with something small and light. Looking down, I saw black fabric covering the top of a small frame.

I immediately knew who it was by examining the small frame and seeing the curves that adorned the small body. After all, my hands have roamed those curves multiple times, enough to learn every scratch and bump that coats her beautiful skin. Looking at her larger thighs, my eyes locked onto the way the tight booty short squeezed the fat around her ass. Perfectly framing her lower extremities. I looked behind her to see Yui smiling slightly but out of breath. Yui knew about my relationship with her best friend; she disapproved of how we were going about it.

"If you're Yui, that must mean," I started as the more petite frame pulled the rest of the jumper over her head. Showing beautiful (H/C) hair that was slightly messy from the jumper. Georgus (E/C) eyes peering through her lashes and sweet plump lips pushing shallow breaths out as she caught her breath again.

My beautiful (Y/N). My dove.

"Kuroo." The way her voice rang my name sounded like an intoxicating symphony. While I still adored the way she sang my name, when she cried my name, it sent me into a feral state. My eyes trailed down her body again, thinking about what I would be doing to her later. When my eyes landed on her exposed cleavage, I finally realized her shirt came off with her jumper.

"Dove, ahh, your shirt," I told her as I threw my hand to my face to try and cover the growing heat that was forming on it. Between split fingers, I saw her face go even redder before quickly putting her shirt back on.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing? Coach is going to kill you." Daichi finally made his way out the doors. Took him long enough to notice his girlfriend was missing. I watched her move past me towards Daichi and into the gym.

My eyes met Yui's as she moved towards me. She sighed before stopping—only for a moment, though, placing a hand on my bicep. She told me that she thought I suited her best friend and felt terrible for me. "You're better for her; you challenge her. And that's what she needs, but Daichi has been by her side since they were toddlers. He's the same; you're the change she's scared of," she told me before making her way into the gym to join her team.

That made me think—a lot within the span of 5 seconds. (Y/N) and I have known each other since our first year of High School at our first training camp. She was already with Sawamura, but quickly, I noticed the way she always found herself around me.

It wasn't until later in the year at our second training camp that I realized Sawamura barely paid attention to her. So, once again, I found her being around me more. She slowly opened herself up to me, and it went from a small attraction to actual feelings.

The second year is when we actually start to act on our emotions. For example, in our second year, (Y/N) decided to stay in the prefecture for a couple of nights, and I ended up in her bed on more than one occasion. Ever since, there have been secret nights, stolen glances, and kisses in the dark.

I was enough until the start of this year. Sawamura started using her as a tension blow-off. She wasn't his girlfriend anymore; she was his toy. While she didn't want to see it, the more she told me what would happen during the day, the more it became apparent. After multiple outings with our mutual friends and long chats with her best friend, I learned she's petrified of change. I don't push her, though; I will let her go at her own pace for as long as she needs.

"Wanna grab a feed?" I heard Sawamura speak out as I saw him walk past me. Where was he going? (Y/N) was about to start her game. "You know your girlfriend is about to play, right?" I called out, watching him and Sugawara stop in their tracks. They both turned around, but Sugawara had a sadder look than Sawamura.

"I've seen her play so many times; this time will be no different," he said with a slight shrug, but his demeanor told me he had no clue what was wrong with what he had just said. He turned back around, leaving Sugawara looking at me sadly.

(Y/N) would tell me how much Sugawara has been there for her when no one else was, and I will forever be grateful for it. Though he doesn't outwardly know about the two of us, I believe he knows my feelings for the Karasuno Girls captain.

Screw it; if he won't be there for her, even for something as small as a training camp game, I'll be there for her. She deserves the whole world, but at the very least she deserves a cheerleader.

(Y/N)'s POV

Half way through the game coach called a time out so everyone could collect themselves again. It wasn't until my focus wasn't on the game or my girls that I noticed that most of the boys from the Karasuno team were still around, watching the game, but Daichi was nowhere. I scanned the side of the court, nothing. Near the door, no one. The bleachers though, my eyes landed on another pair. Not Daichi's though.

"Kuroo." I whispered to myself as emotions I couldn't even name washed through my body. But we were playing against Nekoma, so he's probably here to support them.

"Okay girls! Get out there and show them what you got!" Coach called out as the rest of the girls made their way back onto the court. "(Y/N)." I heard my coach call out, but not as coach, as my mother.

I turned to look at her and the glance in her eyes told me she knew my feelings but that I needed to focus right now. So many words with one look. I understood and shook my head and made my way back to the court.

After every point I scored. Every block. Every save. I looked at him. He would already be looking at me. Every. Single. Time. Every glance rose the question. Why wasn't I with him. Why was I with someone who couldn't even take the time of day to watch my games.

The game ended rather quickly after those thoughts. I was running on auto pilot. I didn't even realize I had won us the game until I felt multiple bodies tackle me to the ground.

Just like Yui predicted, I was cleaning the gym after our game as it was the last of the day. And let me tell you, cleaning a stadium with 3 courts isn't easy to do by yourself. I'm just lucky coach asked me to clean this stadium instead of the Karasuno court. The boys don't know the meaning of cleanliness apparently.

"Need help?" I heard a sweet, coarse voice echo through the stadium. I turned to face the doors to see a tall, muscular man. Dawning beautiful black hair and piercing honey eyes.

"Where did you get to? I was looking for you after the team meeting but you went missing?" I paused in my tracks, leaning on the broom I was using to sweep the floor.

I watched as he stalked towards me, stopping only a couple inches in front of me. His cologne stung my nostrils in an intoxicating way. The way his body towered over mine made me feel hunted yet protected at the same time. The feelings I get with Kuroo are addictive, while what I feel for Diachi is comfortable.

"I went to get us these." He cooed quietly as he pulled both of his hands from behind his back, showing my favorite drink in the entire world.

"Ugh, I knew there was a reason why I liked you." I told him as I dropped the broom, letting it fall to the ground and echo around us as I grabbed the drink from Kuroo's large, firm hand.

"You played really well today."

"So you were there for me?" I said with a slight smirk as we made our way to the bleachers. Teasing Kuroo was one of my favorite pass times.

"Of course, no one on Nekoma's team has an ass like yours." He said nuding me to the side slightly. My mouth dropped in a joking shock.

"So I'm just a body to you am I?" I said as I moved in front of him and threw my leg at him, slightly kicking him as we both laughed.

We chatted, nothing sexual. Just talked. Thinking about it, I don't remember the last time I was just chatting with Daichi like this. These days he only ever talks to me if he needs something. We talked for nearly an hour before we heard the doors slam open.

"(Y/N)! What the fuck!"

"Daichi"

Kuroo's POV

"(Y/N)! What the fuck!"

"Daichi," (Y/N) said calmly. Almost like he's addressed her like this before.

"What are you doing in here alone with him!"

"Why can't I be?"

"Because you're mine! What sort of person are you parading around with other men?" The utter disgust that was being spat from Sawamura's mouth was like poison to hear.

How dare he speak to her like that, but when I turned to comfort (Y/N), her expression was stern—unwavering, in fact. He's definitely spoken to her like this before, and that fact irked me to my core. I'm about to stand up and give him a piece of my mind when I feel a small hand graze my bicep. I go to look at the girl the hand belongs to, but she's already on her feet and standing in front of Sawamura.

"So because I was your girlfriend, I belonged to you?" she started quietly but loud enough for both of us to hear.

"Was? Was my girlfriend. (Y/N) you are my girlfriend." Daichi exclaimed, almost like he was forcing a role onto her.

"No, Daichi, I was right the first time." She told him, with an undertone of authority. I was your girlfriend, meaning I'm not anymore. You do understand what it means, right?"

The struggle to suppress my laughter was profound. (Y/N) She sounded so done, done with him, done with the way she was treated, and just done with everything that had to do with Daichi Sawamura.

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid."

"Well, you must be. I have been your pet, toy, and slave. I have always been there for you, especially when you couldn't be there for yourself. I WAS THERE! And where have you been in the past three years? Not with me, that I know for certain."

"(Y/N).."

"No, Daichi." She cut him off, moving closer to Sawamura and causing him to step back. We're done."

Two words and my ears are feeling bliss. I watched (Y/N) turn on her heel and look me directly in the eyes. She grabbed my hand and smiled slightly before turning back around and walking away—away from the stadium, away from the gym, but most importantly, away from someone who made her feel less than and towards a brighter future for herself.

Luckily, she's kept her hand firmly gripped to mine, bringing me with her.

(Y/N)'s POV

I was on the warpath, pushing through the thick air that was pulling me back to the gym to apologize for what I said. But why apologize for something I meant? I was sick of being pushed around by him.

"(Y/N), can you do this for me"

"(Y/N), I don't have time."

"I need to practice another time."

That's all I've heard from him for the past three years. Ever since we started Karasuno, it's like he changed. He wasn't the Daichi I fell in love with at such a young age. He wasn't the Daichi I made plans for the future with. He wasn't my Daichi, though.

"(Y/N)..."

It's like an echo called out my name through the endless thoughts and memories that ran through my mind.

"(Y/N)..." The echo got louder.

"DOVE!" It finally hit me. Kuroo. I dragged him through all this. Why did he even let me drag him? He could easily overpower me. He's done it plenty of times before. "Please stop, just for a second."

"I am-" I started, pausing and letting go of his hand as I slowly turned to face him.

"Dove?"

"I am terribly sorry!" I yelled slightly, throwing myself into a bow to apologize for putting him through that scene.

"What for?" I felt his hand touch my chin and push my face to look into his eyes. Those eyes—how I wished I had been looking into them for the past three years, actually looking into his eyes and not through hooded, lustful lids.

"You shouldn't have had to see that. But I'm more sorry about the shit I put you through all these years. Being second to Daichi." I told him, my eyes moving from his, looking everywhere but his eyes.

"(Y/N), you mustn't be the brightest if you think you put me through anything." He started in a quiet and gentle tone. A tone I hadn't heard in a while. But when it's from him, it's different. I feel protected. I feel safe. "I knew you and loved admiring you from the side and having you to myself in the quietest moments."

His words, their meaning, held great depth—deeper than the deepest parts of the ocean—and I was truly feeling everything he wanted me to.

"This relationship hasn't had the most trustful start. But I'm willing to try if it means I get to call you mine—to everyone and not just myself." He grabbed my cheek, pressing his forehead against mine, forcing eye contact. I couldn't help it. The feelings and emotions I was feeling were heaven. Kuroo made me feel a way no one has, not even Daichi. Kuroo was chaos, and sometimes, you need that in your life.

My body moved by itself. My lips smashed against Kuroo's. My arms are wrapped around his neck, his hands straight to his hair, and he pulls it the right way. The way I know sends him feral. I felt him sink into the heated make-out session quickly. Moving in sync with me, made for only each other.

"I'd try anything with you," I breathed out as I pulled apart from his lips. Our breaths were even in sync. How insane was I to think I was made for anyone but the man in front of me?

"Watch your words, Dove. We're still in public." He smirked lightly, giving me another quick peck on the lips before staring intensely into my eyes. Looking through his honey eyes, I could see the way he felt about me. I was peering directly into his soul, and he was in mine. The tension between us was thick to the point where oxygen even struggled to make it through.

Again, my body moved by itself. I grabbed Kuroo's hand and dragged him behind me again. I was on an even worse warpath. But instead of going away from something, it was towards something better.

Finally, the hotel, the room, and the bed were in sight. I pulled Kuroo into my room and pushed him onto the bed. "Would you look at that? We were not in public anymore."

[sadhatter]

My wife (ao3) has gone to war (is down) and I don't know if she'll ever return home again (the wonderful people at ao3 are working diligently to bring it back up ASAP). I don't know if I'll ever recover (I'll be fine) but I'm being very brave about it (I am NOT being brave).

[sadhatter]

All of us gathering as ao3 goes down for the second day in a row.

[sadhatter]

Obi (Akagami no Shirayukihime) x Reader

A/N: So this is my first fic back after 4 years hiatus. Please bear with me as I get into the rhythm again. xx

Also why are there no Obi fics on this site. I shall be the bringer of Obi Fics for all the Obi stans!!

Anime: Akagami no Shirayukihime | Snow White with the Red Hair

Pairing: Obi (Akagami no Shirayukihime) x Reader

Order: Pastry with Strawberry Jam

Warnings: Body Insecurity, smutty fluff

Blurb: Your a court herbalist, working alongside Shirayuki. Ever since Prince Zen appointed Obi to be Shirayuki's guard, you have been blessed with the opportunities of seeing this man on nearly a daily basis. Over time, you feel as there is something between the two of you but with your insecurities, you don't know if anything will ever become.

Word Count: 2460

(Y/N) POV

It was a tranquil week at the castle. Daily routines went smoothly. There were no unexpected visitors or last-minute contests—just peace.

"Hello, Pigeon." Well, that's what I thought anyway.

"Obi." No trace of amusement in my tone. While I did like having him around, he usually chose the worst times to be with me. "You could sound a little more pleased with my presence."

"And you could choose better times to grace me with your presence." I witted back to him as he climbed through the window to walk around the infirmary, looking and touching things like a kid. "Look, Obi, I have a lot I need to do today before Garak returns, so if you want to hang out later, I can, just not now."

I turned towards the desk, placing the pile of notebooks I had in my hands down. However, due to the sheer number, the top of the pile toppled forward, scattering the notebooks across the table and onto the floor on the other side, causing a slight sign to leave my throat.

"It looks like you could use some help," Obi said as he moved around the table and bent down to pick up what fell onto the ground while I cleaned up the scattered books.

"Obi, really—thank you—really, I'm okay." I interrupted my explanation as Obi stood back up and handed me the books that had fallen onto the ground. "Shouldn't you be with Shirayuki anyway?"

Shirayuki is the most recent addition to the Court Herbalists. She is very smart, very beautiful, and blessed with her beautiful bright red hair. She is also the reason Obi has been around the infirmary more often. Since Prince Zen appointed Obi to be Shirayuki's bodyguard in light of the rumors that were started, Obi and I have gotten to know each other better. But the looks he gives her are different from how he looks at me. I'm still trying to figure out how, but I know why. A common herbalist like me with no "assets" could never be with a "princess" bodyguard.

"She's with my master today. He thought after the past couple of weeks they had, they deserved a day away." That's right. It wasn't too long after they officially got together that more drama popped up, causing them to put a hold on their newfound romance.

"Hmm, okay then," I replied because I had started reading and filling out the different pharmaceutical documents. After the first document, I quickly fell into a rhythm of reading and filing. After reading and signing, I finally decided to look up from the desk, only for my eyes to meet with the man, who - apparently - still hadn't left. Our eyes connected (E/C) to gold, which almost seemed like time stopped. The slight swirls of green entwined with the gold made his eyes look like a beautiful flurry of gold flakes across a barren field. His eyes made mine feel like a swamp. I felt my cheeks rise with heat and my throat close with anxiety.

"How long have you been there?" I choked out through the slight opening and closing of my throat.

"I never left Pidge." Screw just my cheeks being red. Indeed, my whole face was red by now. I can guarantee there would be no difference if my face were buried in Shirayuki's hair.

"OKAY!" I said quickly and loudly while standing up, startling Obi and myself with my quick actions. "To the greenhouse," I Declared, kind of hoping Obi would see that I wanted to be alone.

"To the greenhouse," Obi said with a smile as he rose from his seat across the desk and started to follow me out the door.

"What?" I say with shock as I stop in my tracks suddenly, causing him to bump into my back.

"What?" He said with more confusion than anything. "Why are you going to the greenhouse?"

"Because you're going there?" he replied nonchalantly, staring confusedly at my shocked expression.

"You are allowed to be in here by yourself," I say, looking away from him while picking at the skin near my nails.

"I'm aware. Let's go." Fabric hit my face as my jacket fell into my arms. I looked up at the door to see Obi with a bright smile and his arm outstretched towards the sliding door. "It's chilly this time of year, so wear your jacket."

Maybe I wasn't delusional with my feelings. All this time, I thought he had feelings for Shirayuki. And while that may be true, a friend doesn't stay with someone for nearly an hour doing nothing while the other does paperwork. Right? Then again, Mitsuhide and Kiki are always just there when Prince Zen is doing paperwork. But Obi isn't my bodyguard. UGH. Far too many thoughts were running through my head because, before I knew it, we were at the entrance to the greenhouse.

I slide the greenhouse door open, waiting for Obi to enter before closing it behind him. "So, pidge, what are we doing here?"

"I just need to harvest a few different herbs before they aren't viable," I told him, moving towards the different types of herbs and picking out what I needed. "Obi, you don't have to be here. This is a pretty tedious task for someone who-"

"Sounds like you don't want me here, pidge."

"Please stop calling me that."

"Why Pidge? Does it annoy you, pidge?" The more he said it, the more it got on my nerves. With the countless questions that run through my head about this man, this is probably the question that hits my gut in a way I didn't think it would. Why does he call me Pigeon? As far as I was concerned, they were beautiful, majestic birds that symbolized love and luck. And I am not attractive or majestic.

"Just please stop," I said quietly. I was changing the topic while moving through the large greenhouse.

"Why, though, you're my pigeon."

"ENOUGH, OBI," I snapped, causing both of us to be shocked.

"(Y/N).."

"Do you think I'm beautiful and majestic? Cause I'm not! In a world full of pigeons, I'm a seagull. So is this fun for you? Watching me squirm under your presence?" I screamed, even throwing myself into silence as shock and terror ran through my veins.

Why did I snap? Pigeon isn't even that bad of a name. But with these feelings and thoughts racing through my mind, what else was I expected to do? He's always there. Always with me. So why was I so angry?

"(Y/N), I'm s-"

"I'll do this later," I said before sprinting away from Obi, away from an argument, away from hurt, away from my problems.

"Am I stupid!" I half yelled half groaned as I held a glass of liquor in my hand and my feet up on the couch.

"Yeah, probably. Why would you yell at poor Obi for a name like that?" Garak told me, also in the same position as me but on the lounge across from myself.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I groaned into the pillow I threw onto my face. "I really like him, boss."

"I know."

"He makes me really happy, and he makes me laugh. I'm always amazed by the way he can jump through the trees. He truly is charming." I slurred slightly, feeling a little intoxicated. While I was really good at holding my liquor, the liquor that's in the boss's secret stash is a whole new breed of drink.

"Oh my lord (Y/N). Just tell him? What harm can it do?" Garak told him when she heard the bell ring, asking for someone's attendance.

"It can literally do all the harm in the world. I'm not pretty enough to be admired the way people admire pigeons," I groaned again as she scoffed at me and walked towards the door.

"(Y/N), you have someone here to see you," Garak told me as she walked back into the room properly and sat back on the couch, taking another large swig of her drink.

"You're in better shape than me."

"But this isn't a patient that requires my specialties." Confused by her proclamation, I got up and went to the door. Her specialties? She was the head herbalist; what wouldn't require her "Specialties?"

"Hey, pidge." Just answered my own question. "Can we please talk?" My face nearly exploded from the heat that rushed to my cheeks and ears. My mind running a thousand miles an hour, trying to find a way out of this information.

"Sorry, Obi, I have a lot of stuff here. I need to catch u-"

"NO, SHE DOESN'T, TAKE HER OBI!" I heard my boss yell. When I turned to give her a death glare, she was already staring at me in amusement. I turned back to Obi and saw the small, sad smile he dawned on his lips. Guilt immediately ran through my veins.

"Shall we go for a walk? It's a nice night?" He asked gently and quietly. I examined his posture, which seemed nervous compared to his usual carefree posture.

"Sure."

"Pidge, I-"

"Obi, why do you call me pigeon?" I asked nonchalantly. On the way outside, I concluded that if this conversation were to happen, it would be better to get it over and done with.

"(Y/N), why don't you think you're beautiful?"

The question caught me off guard. Very off guard. I completely forgot I told him I wasn't beautiful when I snapped. The question blared through my ears like a ringing alarm that wouldn't stop. My whole life has been about helping people and making them feel better. Many of these people are women and young girls, all with flawless skin, light freckles, and beautiful bodies. After every day of serving these women, I would go back to my room and cry. I can be wise and kind, but nothing will ever make me as beautiful as those women.

"Like I said, I'm a seagull in a world full of pigeons." I stared out across the castle gardens with no hint of joy coming from my lips or eyes. "When I look around and see women like Kiki and Shirayuki, I find it very hard to see the natural beauty in myself. Their vibrancies are blinding, and the shine makes it hard to see my reflection."

The words spilled from my lips like they had been there for years, waiting to be released. It felt relieving to tell someone these grievances, but then I was reminded that I was spilling this thought to the man I love. The ball is in his court, and I hate that his next move dictates my own. I am utterly in his hands, and he's fully aware of it.

"(Y/N), I'm not meant to tell anyone this, but when I first came here, it was to keep Shirayuki and my master apart. I've done terrible things to people, unforgivable things." He grabbed my hand and stopped me in my tracks; as the words flowed from his lips, the clarity slowly washed over me. "I'm saying that not all of us are perfect b-"

"You are perfect to me, Obi." I quickly interrupted him, and then the point of his words hit me.

"You perfect to me, pidge. Your eyes, your hair, your skin, your body. It's all perfect to me." His hand slowly reached my cheek, his thumb grazing the skin slightly. "So who cares if the other girls have more vibrant hair or clearer skin. Because to me, you're my pigeon, beautiful and majestic."

That's all it took. The words aren't complex, but they carry profound meaning. Obi's words and meaning were as beautiful as his golden eyes. I grabbed his cheeks, pulling him towards me and smashing my lips onto his. Desperate and needing, but lustful and clarifying. His hands grabbed onto either side of my hips and slowly pushed me against a pillar that was nearby. His hands moved up my body to my neck as mine wrapped into his hair, slowly pulling on his short, brown strands.

One of his hands grazed over the front of my throat and gripped it slightly, not enough to cut off air, but enough to show me that I belonged to him. The motion made me gasp slightly, causing him to pull away.

"Is that okay?" He asked, concern laced in his voice.

"Shut up." I quickly pulled him back towards me, pushing my body further into him than I thought humanly possible. Our lips connected like they were made for each other.

I felt his tongue push slightly on my lips. Mine parting to allow access, our tongues and lips moving together like an in-sync dance. Arms and hands sliding over each other's bodies as if this were the last time we would feel each other. The desperation was clear as day. We had both been waiting far too long for this.

"Ahem." I heard a cough, quickly forcing Obi and me apart quicker than when I moved us together. We quickly turn our bodies to see Prince Zen and Shirayuki, hand in hand, returning from their day out.

"MASTER! Did you have a good trip?" Obi asked like nothing had happened, slowly strolling up to the Prince and throwing his arm around his shoulders. "I hope you guys used protection."

"I think I should be asking you guys that." The Prince responded while shoving Obi off his body. From what Obi told me, it must've been hard for the Prince to trust him with Shirayuki again. Solidifying my feelings for the man, he proved his loyalty to the Prince and earned his title as an aide to the crown.

The Prince pulled on Shirayuki's hand, leading them both past Obi and me. Shirayuki and I laid eyes on each other, and I caught a smile from the redhead. I'll be getting a bit of an interrogation tomorrow. My eyes moved back towards Obi. I saw him slowly returning to me while keeping his eyes on his master and the one he was in charge of protecting as they moved into the castle.

"For future reference,"

Obi and I both jumped, turning around and seeing Kiki and Mitsuhide at the other end of the outdoor corridor. Mitsuhide tried to hide his laughter, and Kiki stood blank-faced with arms crossed.

"Maybe find a room next time." Kiki finished as she dragged a laughing Mitsuhide passed up into the castle behind The Prince and Shirayuki.

"I think I might make do with that advice," Obi said. Before I could ask what he meant, I felt myself thrown over his shoulder.

"OBI!"

"C'mon pigeon, we have some catching up to do."

[sadhatter]

IM BACK

4 years is a very long hiatus but I am back. Even though I'm still in school, my passion for writing has reignited and fanfics are a good way for me to warm up to the actual thing.

While I don't have much on my page to show my work, I hope requests will come in soon.

Thanks for the support!!

-Hatter

[sadhatter]

Romance Anime Starter List

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick and tired of seeing “Top ___ Best Anime of All Time” lists that are nothing but shounen. So, with "My Happy Marriage" getting a little attention from the anime community, I wanted to put together a list of some romance anime that I consider good “starters” for the genre. Because if I were just now becoming an anime fan, I’d think all there was to offer was shounen action series.

And by “starters” I mean basic stuff that’s not too…out there, and actually involves the characters getting together instead of just harems or using romance as a side plot (sorry Ouran High School Host Club and My Next Life as a Villainess). 

So if you’re new to anime and want stuff that’s not just guys beating the shit out of each other (which is also fun, don’t get me wrong), here are some basics.

Taisho Maiden Fairy Tale- When the pessimistic Tamahiko Shima loses all function in his right arm, his family sends him away to live in the mountains with the cheerful, hard working Yuzuki Tachibana…who was purchased by the Shima family to pay off her family’s debts and basically act as a caretaker/future bride for Tamahiko so they’d never have to deal with him again. It’s a more cheerful version of My Happy Marriage (without the supernatural stuff), except in this one, the guy is the one who has massive self-esteem issues and an abusive family. There are still very serious themes, but ultimately it’s not meant to make you cry every episode. I swear it’s so good, but nobody watched it!

Horimiya- A slice of life in which pretty and popular high school queen bee Hori, finds out her quiet, unassuming classmate Miyamura is hiding piercings and tattoos that could get him expelled. The two gradually find out more about each other and get together in the most realistic way I’ve seen depicted in an anime. It’s also fucking hysterical and genuinely emotional.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie- Another slice of life that focuses on two adults who meet in an MMO game without realizing they also know each other in real life. I don’t want to say much more than that. It’s adorable, and the main character is so relatable it hurts.

Love with Yamada-kun at Level 999- Speaking of MMOs, this is a newer series about Akane Kinoshita, a college first year who’s reeling from a bad break up. In an attempt to get back at her ex, she winds up meeting Akito Yamada, a popular gamer who happens to be in her guild in the MMO they both play at an IRL meetup. The two go from acquaintances to something more as they keep running into each other. Even more relatable main characters and just wholesome relationships all around.

Snow White With The Red Hair- A fantasy in which an apothecary named Shirayuki (meaning, you guessed it, “snow white”) runs away from her home in order to escape becoming the concubine of her town’s prince. While fleeing, she is rescued by Zen, the prince of a neighboring country, and she ends up becoming an herbalist to repay him. It's super cute with some genuinely swoon worthy moments and a couple that just works so well together. I have a habit of comparing this to Akatsuki no Yona, even though the two aren’t really that alike. This is more romance driven while Akatsuki no Yona is more of a serious historical fantasy with romance elements (Yona manga is amazing, but the anime barely scratches the surface, so that’s why I didn’t include it).

Sasaki to Miyano- When the shy, easily flustered Miyano meets Sasaki, a cool “delinquent” upperclassmen, the two end up bonding over manga…specifically BL manga. That’s right, Miyano is a fudanshi, but due to his small stature and somewhat feminine appearance, he’s constantly trying to convince others that he’s not interested in having his own love story where he’d be reduced to a stereotypical doe-eyed uke. But as Sasaki and Miyano spend more time together, they realize that what they have is more than friendship, and they have to come to terms with their own perception of gay relationships. This is my favorite romance of all time. It’s a slow burn, but boy is it worth it. Their relationship is so natural and realistic, just like Horimiya. Just two people hanging out and bonding over things the way people do in real life!

Given: The story of some boys in a band with trauma. Enough said. It's great. Go watch it.

Bloom Into You- Yuu Koito is a high school girl who’s been waiting her whole life for her own perfect romance to start…but when she receives a confession, she realizes she doesn’t know how to respond when she’s just not into the guy. And then she gets another confession…this time from the cool student council president Touko Nanami, who basically jumpstarts her lesbian awakening. Very cute story about how we perceive the concept of love vs actually feeling it. Also has a canonically aro/ace side character, so that’s a win for me. Another show like this is Adachi to Shimamura (but I honestly don’t remember much about it. It just didn’t stick with me as much).

Ore Monogatari- Takeo Gouda is a tall, bulky high school first year with a sensitive heart of gold. He wants nothing more than to find his own true love, but most girls are intimidated by his enormous stature, and they end up falling for his conventionally attractive friend instead. That is, until he meets the tiny, adorable Rinko Yamato. He falls in love instantly, but he’s sure she’s interested in his best friend like everyone else, so he vows to help get them together, even though his heart is breaking. Peak himbo behavior. Pure of heart, dumb of ass.

Yuri on Ice- Yes it’s the gay figure skating anime everyone knows. And yes it’s a fucking romance, okay? I will die on this hill. The romance between Viktor and Yuri is just as important as the plot!

Kaguya-sama Love Is War- Two insanely smart high school students both have a crush on the other, but since they’re…you know…high schoolers, neither of them wants to admit it first. So they come up with increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess first. This will go down as one of the best of all time. It’s a hilarious yet poignant modern classic.

Fruits Basket- I’ve talked about it before and I’ll talk about it again. A romance “comedy” that slowly morphs into a drama about a girl named Tohru who finds herself living with the mysterious Sohma family after her mother dies. Little does she know, the Sohmas are the victims of a  (somewhat silly, but ultimately tragic) curse that she must fight to break. Even though I’m more into it for the family drama, the romance is still top tier and plays an important role in the story. This is my second favorite anime of all time, and it’s a classic for a reason. If anyone hasn’t watched it yet, GO WATCH IT! IT WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS!

And now for some honorable mentions that didn't quite fit into the regular list:

Ride Your Wave- A movie about a surfer who falls in love with a firefighter……and I’m not going to say any more than that. Go into it blind. If you like stuff like Your Name, this is a good one to watch.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun- A comedy about a high school girl who finds out the upperclassman she has a crush on is actually a shoujo manga artist, and no matter how she tries to confess to him, he just never gets it.

The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague- A slow burn slice of life that focuses on a guy with ice powers who has a crush on his coworker. That’s it. That’s the show. When I say slow, I mean SLOW. It’s perfectly cute and fluffy, but my god does it take forever to get anywhere with these two.

Skip to Loafer- A high strung, small town girl decides to go to high school in Tokyo, where she meets a variety of classmates, including the laid back Sousuke Shima. The unlikely pair become friends, and soon enough, she starts to feel something more than friendship. The only reason I didn’t include it in the main list is because they don’t get together by the end of the first season, but it’s still really cute (also canonically trans character for the win!?)

So that’s my starter list. And no, I didn’t include Toradora, even though it’s a classic. I know it’s blasphemous, but I like it more as a comedy than a romance. It kinda lost me with the ending. But anyway, maybe someone will find something they like. Or maybe you'll just want to roast me and my picks 😅

[sadhatter]

Immaculate Desire

SEVEN

DISCLAIMER

TW: Mental Illness', Terminal Illness', Drug Usage, Sexual, Mental and Physical abuse as well as Unhealthy and Toxic Households and Relationships

Chapter Releases: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Tags: @dekushandcanchokeme

English | Japanese

6:32 pm

Friday 17th August

Iris’s POV

 My mother got out of surgery about half an hour ago and were currently waiting for her to wake up so I could go and see her. My fingers hovered over a certain name on my phone as I debated with myself whether to call him or not. I knew I could, it was just the mental block that I’ve always had. I couldn’t bring myself to call or message other, in fear of disturbing, annoying or interrupting something.

“Call him.” My face shot to my right to see Bunni with a gentle smile on her lips. I sighed and looked back down at my phone.

“He’s probably busy, I don’t want to interrupt anything.” I said sighing and smiling lightly.

“Bitch, shut the fuck up, he’s basically the father you should’ve had, now call him before I do it for you.” Bunni said leaning back on the chair basically going limp.

“You couldn’t get my phone even if you tried.” I said with a blunt look as I turned my head to look at her slumped body.

“Who couldn’t get your phone?” I looked up and saw Nejire skipping over with a bright smile on her face.

“This fat bitch.” I said gesturing my head towards the girl that sat next to me.

“Woah! At least I have tits okay.” Bunni said as he sat back up in her seat.

“Oh yeah! You wanna go there? Shall we take this outside?” I said standing up and putting my fists up in a playful way.

“Yeah, let’s go!” Bunni joined in as she stood up as well and started to bounce around with her fists up.

Bunni and I continued to play fight as Mirio and Tamaki walked back in the room with coffees for everyone. I heard Mirio’s light chuckle, making me turn my head and smile slightly. Giving Bunni enough time to grab me in a head lock and drop to the ground.

“Never take your eyes off your opponent.” She said as her grip got tighter around my throat, knowing it wouldn’t do anything to me.

“You’re lucky I promised to never use my quirk on you again.” I croaked out through her choke hold.

“Please do not use quirks in here ladies.” We heard another voice and all of our heads snapped towards the new voice, seeing my mother’s oncologist.  Bunni’s grip quickly loosened around my neck and we both shot up and sped walked towards the doctor.

“Is she awake?” I asked him, desperate for an answer.

“Yes, she woke up about 10 minutes ago and has asked to see you.” The doctor told me and I nodded.

“Um, can Bunni come with me?” I asked as I grabbed the girls arm and cowered behind her slightly.

“I’m afraid she can’t, at this time only one person is allowed in the room with her, and we have to ask you to wear a mask and sanitize your hands. She is too weak to fight off any disease at this point.” The doctor informed me as he handed me a mask. I lifted my shaking hand and grabbed the mask looking at it, trying not to let the growing tears fall. When you are ready, please follow me.” He finished before moving towards the door and waiting patiently. I turned to Bunni and let one tear drop, letting only her see it before she pulled me into a tight hug and held me there for about 30 seconds before letting me go and nodding while wiping the tear from my cheek.

“You can do this. You’re fucking Iris Shimura-Bancroft, whether you like your father’s name or not, that’s who you are, and that who you will always be. You’re the strongest mother fucker I know and always will be. Now go and see your mother.” Bunni told me before pushing me towards the doctor, encouraging me to push through. Which I listened to, I walked towards the doctor as he started to move through the doors to the rooms.

“We will move her to a more permanent room, since she will need to be monitored 24/7 now.” The doctor informed me and I sighed.

“So, there’s no chance I will be able to take her home?” I said and I crossed my arms, trying to give myself a sense of security.

“Not in her current condition, no.” He said as we turned down another hall and stopped in front of a door with ‘4-25’ written on a metal plate. “This is your mother’s room. By tomorrow she will be able to have up to three visitors in her room during visiting hours and you may come at any time you would like, just sign in at the reception first please.” The doctor said before gently patting my shoulder and leaving.

I turned towards the door and let all the thought run through my mind, knowing I wouldn’t be able to stop it anyway. I was scared about what I would see behind this door. I was worried about the woman behind this door. At this point the thing I am most scared of, is this door. It was this door that kept me from seeing my mother. This door was keeping me from facing my fears. I finally pushed passed the mental block and grabbed the door handle shaking slightly as I pulled the sliding door to the side.

“Hey Iris.” Mum’s voice was drier and croakier than it has ever been. When I looked at her face her cheeks were starting to sink in and the bags under her eyes were more noticeable than ever.

“Mum.” I quivered out and ran to the side of her bed and sunk down next to it, grabbing her hand as I held it like it was the last time, I’d see her.

“Iris, look at me.” Mum said, trying to sound a bitch stricter. My eyes raised to her, letting all my tears drop and fall on her hand. “Us Sato’s are strong. We will both get through this.” She told me. Certainty gracing her voice as I scoffed and smiled at her statement.

“Yeah, we will.” I was laughing slightly and I bought her hand to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

“Please go home and get some rest.” She told me with sympathetic eyes, causing me to roll mine. This bitch was in a hospital bed and still made sure that I was well looked after.

“Worry about yourself, please don’t worry about me.” I told her as I looked deep into her eyes and tried to convince her to do so.

“You don’t want to go home do you?” She called me out and I scoffed before standing up.

“Even on your death bed you still manage to call me out?” I said hearing a slight chuckle from my mother as she raised her arm a bit and gestured her hand toward herself. Telling me to come closer.

“Call Aizawa.” She said quietly making me jump back again and groan.

“First Bunni, now you?” I said as I started to pace around the room.

“Well Bunni’s a smart girl isn’t she, unlike someone else I know.” She told me and I turned my head to her with a tired and pissed looked in my eyes. “Iris, this is your mother telling you to call him. So do it please. Stay with him until you get yourself on your feet.” She told me and I moved towards her, grabbing the seat and sitting on it.

“Snipe wanted to come and see you tomorrow, about moving into dorms on campus.” I said as I looked at her intently.

“Do it! Don’t let me hold you back.” She moved her arm towards me again, but this time holding her hand, indicating she wanted to hold me hand, which I gladly took. “You will be a great hero one day; I know this for a fact. If you want to move into the dorms, go for your life. Don’t let me or anyone stop you.” She said, causing me to start to tear up again. I stayed silent for a minute, processing what she said to me.

“Okay.” I said quietly. I felt her hand squeeze mine slightly, making me bring my eyes to hers again.

“I’m so proud of you.” She told me. Finally causing the growing tears to drop down my cheeks.

“Thank you.” I cried out as I held her hand close to me.

“Now go call him, I’ll see you tomorrow, I’m really tired, but I wanted to see you first.” She said and I nodded, following her instructions. Kissing her head before making my way out of the room and towards the waiting room again. Looking at Aizawa’s name in my phone again. I groaned and pressed his name, watching the phone start to ring. I bought the phone to my ear and walked into the waiting room seeing everyone still there waiting for my arrival. I noticed how they were about to come towards me but stopped themselves once they saw the pone that I pressed against my ear, though Bunni continued to move towards me.

“How is she?” Bunni asked as she link her arm with mine.

“Iris? What’s Wrong?” I heard a low, tired and rough voice come through the phone.

“One sec Court, Hey Aizawa?” I started as I moved away from Bunni, past the other three into the hallway where I was alone. “Am I able to stay with you for a couple nights, at least until we move into the dorms?” I asked, my voice quivering slightly as I crossed my free arm across my chest.

“What’s going on?” He asked, worry peering through his tiredness.

“Ah, mum’s gotten worse. She will probably be in here for a while and I don’t want to be at home.” I said as I leaned against the wall, now chewing on my nails as the anxiety started to crawl up my back again.

“Oh okay, well, I’ll get Hizashi to come get you, you’re still at the hospital yeah?” He asked, finally breaking the tough guy act.

“Yeah, thank you, really.” I said before I hung up and moved back towards the waiting room, expecting a message from Mic in about 10 minutes. Finally arriving in the waiting room, the first person I was met with was, of course, Bunni.

“Are you okay? Is he coming to get you? How’s Izumi? Is she okay?” Bunni bombarded me with questions that I couldn’t keep up with.

“Bunni. One question at a time please.” I said as I put my hands on her shoulders to try and bring her back down to earth a bit.

“Okay, sorry,” she started as she took a deep breath in and exhaled even harder. “How’s Izumi?” She said and the look in her eyes was probably the same as what I had before. Desperation for answers.

“Not good, but we will be good, she will come through.” I said, trying to give myself hope, yet not doing a very good job of it.

“Yeah, of course she will get through it. For fuck’s sake, she was number 13, she can get through anything. Same as you. So, did you call him?” She asked me and I sighed and nodded my head. “And he’s coming?”

“Well, his partner is.” I said with a light smile, to see Bunni roll her eyes slightly.

“Aizawa really sent Mic at a time like this?” Bunni told me as she started to slouch and I laughed a bit.

“He’ll bring our spirits up, I guess.” I said through a giggle as I watched Bunni basically break down at having to put up with Mic at a time like this. I moved away from the girl who had suddenly went to harass Nejire about the same thing she was to me, and made my way over to Mirio. He was standing behind everyone waiting patiently, but I could tell from the lingering eyes that he wanted to talk to me.

 “What’s up with you?” I poked his side as I got close enough to him and he smiled slightly as he looked down at me.

“How’s your mum?” He asked me and I sighed a bit before smiling and looking back towards Bunni and Nejire who have now both moved to harass Tamaki.

“She will be okay. We’re a strong family.” I said with a smile as I moved closer to Mirio and leaned my head on his arm. I felt him jerk back a bit but not enough that we lost contact. Soon enough he relaxed and put his arm around my shoulders before pulling me to the back of the waiting room where my belongings were.

“Where are you staying tonight?” He asked as he watched me retreat from his grasp and over to my bags to get my stuff together.

“Aizawa’s.” I said simply, completely forgetting I hadn’t told Mirio about Aizawa’s relationship to my family.

“What? Shouldn’t you be staying with a friend? Not a teacher.” He said, sounding scared and worried causing me to chuckle a bit. “What?”

“Mirio, Aizawa and my mum are best friends, they grew up together.” I told him and when I raised my head, I could see he was trying to figure out the math. “Mirio, calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that.” I said as I continued to pack my bag though keeping the cigarettes out of the bag so I could carry them.

“I’m sorry but it just doesn’t check out, did she have you when she was 13?” He asked slowly getting more and more confused, causing me to chuckle again. “Stop laughing and help me!” He yelled slightly and I stopped what I was doing and turned to Mirio once again.

“Bancroft is my biological family name, and it’s on all my certificates because it is way too much drama to change. Izumi is my mum’s younger sister. Not that my mother deserved a sister like Izumi. My mum and Izumi had a pretty normal homelife. Mum and Izumi moved to Australia, for whatever the reason. Both Izumi and my mum met people over there. My father and Nick, Izumi’s ex-boyfriend. They both made a life for themselves, Izumi becoming one of the top hero’s in Australia and mum becoming a school teacher at the Australian version of U.A basically. After mum and dad got married and fell pregnant with me, Izumi and her found out that their entire family had died and they weren’t there to help them. Their entire family, gone like they didn’t exsist in the first place. Izumi resorted to drugs with her boyfriend while my mother fell into a deep depression. 

It stayed like this for most of my life, my father was nver around due to work and my mother was never mentally present, so I was left alone. Forgetting I was in the house, mum set a fire, to kill herself. Dad also died trying to save me. So I was left in the hands of two 22-year-old drug addicts, though when Izumi started looking after me, she started looking after herself. After the three of us moved to Japan, Izumi left Nick and would go to meetings about her addictions. She got back on the ropes, becoming a pro hero once again and helping me control the quirk I couldn’t quite control. But all-in-all, she is my mother, she was more of a mother and a father to me then my actual parents were, that’s why I dont like using my last name, because im not a Bancroft, not really anyway.” I finished my rant about my horrible family life before continuing on packing my bag finally finishing and zipping the thing up.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of this.” He said to me and I shrugged my shoulders and stood up, throwing the bag over my shoulder and slipping the cigarette packet in the pockets of my pants.

“Like with everything else in life, it’s about coming to terms and living with it. You should try it Mirio.” I said getting a little annoyed at all his sympathy. Yes, I enjoyed it when he was around, it made me feel safe. But I didn’t want his pity if it doesn’t mean anything in the end.

“What if I don’t want to come to terms with it?” He asked and I stopped in my tracks and looked into his eyes and saw that he was 100% serious about this question.

“Then you won’t learn to grow.” I told him as I pulled the packet out of my pocket and got the single joint I rolled earlier out, placing it between my lips and looking back into his eyes.

“But why come to terms with it if I could fix it.” He looked up and down my body as he said he could fix it. Knowing exactly what he’s talking about I stepped back a bit and scoffed.

“And what happens when it’s not broken in the first place, it just looks broken?” He was taken aback by my statement, knowing that I caught onto his drift and he looked down at the ground, a bit speechless by my response. “I’m not broken Mirio, I don’t need you to fix me, all I needed you to do was help me work.” I said before walking away and over to Bunni who had a confused look on her face as her eyes darted between mine and Mirio’s who now sat on a chair at the back of the waiting room.

“What happened?” She scanned my face as I took the joint out of my mouth and bit my lip, regretting talking to Mirio like that already, but not regretting my statement.

“He was hit with the truth.” I said as I turned, allowing my eyes to rest on his confused and stunned face.

“Which is.”

“I’m not broken.”

“Where is she!” Oh god here we go. “Iris!” I could hear Hizashi’s voice screaming, probably from the parking lot, he was that loud that you could probably hear if from the school. A couple seconds later his head popped through the door, eyes scanning the room before they made contact with mine. “Iris!” He yelled before running into waiting room and wrapping his arms around my slim body, lifting me off the ground. His hair was out and he only had his reading glasses on with some trackpants and a loose shirt, telling me he was probably comfortable at home before he had to come get me. “Are you okay?”

“You’re choking me.” I managed to choke out as he coughed and put me back on the floor.

“Right, sorry, are you okay?” He asked me and I smiled and nodded slightly.

“I will be.” My response made Hizashi chuckle a bit. “I’m sorry about making you come get me, you look comfortable.”

“Shut up, you didn’t make me do anything. Now do you need to go back to the apartment to get some stuff?” He asked as he rubbed my shoulder in a protective way.

“Yeah, just a couple changes of clothes.” I said as I got myself together, just about ready to leave.

“Bunni, would you like a lift back?” Hizashi asked and Bunni gladly nodded, thankful of the free lift. “Will you three be able to find a way back? I only bought the two-door.” Hizashi said as he looked back at the three who stood behind us.

“You only bought the hatchback? You’re kidding me, right?” I said and he laughed a bit before patting the top of my head and moving his gaze back to the three other students in the room.

“We will be okay, thanks Mic.” Nejire spoke up as she moved towards me and wrapped me in a massive hug. “Be safe, message me tomorrow, I want to meet your mum.” She whispered into my ear, I giggled a bit and pulled away nodding my head.

“I will.” Tamaki was the next one to move over to me. I looked at him and could tell he wanted to say something to me but he couldn’t find the words. “Tamaki,” I said quietly and he raised his head slightly, enough that he was looking at my face. “You don’t have to say it, you can message me later.” I told him, but in a blink of an eye his arms were wrapped around my body, hearing a slight whine come from Bunni, I chuckled and wrapped my arms around Tamaki’s body as well. “Thank you.”

Last person was slowly making his way towards the rest of us. I watched his approaching figure and rolled my eyes before moving towards him and wrapping my arms around his torso, pushing us both back a bit before we regained our balance. I stayed in this position for a bit, breathing in his scent and cherishing the safety he bought me.

“Thank you Mirio, for everything.” I told him and he finally relaxed, wrapping his arms around my head, somehow bringing me closer to his body.

“I’m sorry about before.”

“Me too, I’ll message you tomorrow, you can meet my mum.” I said as I got out of his grasp and looked at him for a bit longer before getting closer and on my tip toes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, again.” I said before scurrying away from everyone and through the hospital to get outside and away from the situation as quick as I could.

 I finally made it outside and lit the joint that sat between my lips. I breathed in a harsh breath of smoke and swiftly blew it back out, looking into the growing darkness. I kept telling myself she would be okay, but now that I’m alone, it was hard for me to convince myself that. She will still be there tomorrow when I come and see her. She’s not alone, and she won’t be, ever. I’ll make sure of that.

“What’s up kid?” I turned my head to see Mic making his way towards me his hair briefly blowing in the light breeze. He finally made it to my side and noticed the smoke in my hand. “Joint or cigarette?” He asked and I chuckled.

“Joint.” I said as I out stretched my arm, handing the joint to him, watching him gently take it and take a drag from it himself. He inhaled a deep breath blowing out barely any smoke then passed the joint back to me.

“How are you?” The one question that left me speechless. I was always asked if I was okay or if I needed anything, and the answer to those was always, I will be, or I’ll be okay. In my mind, ‘How are you?’ was something completely different, and Hizashi knew that.

“Shit.” A sudden tear came out of nowhere, dropping and sliding down my cheek with ease and grace. I took another draw of the joint passing it back to the taller man the stood beside me. Hizashi took the smoke then wrapped his arm around my shoulders, bringing me to his side.

“You’re a strong girl. We were shocked by you at first, but knew you would be special.” He said, sometimes it’s the simple statements that go miles. I leaned my head against his chest and felt my left hand being grabbed.

“He’s right, you know.” I looked to my left to see Bunni standing there with a small gentle smile.

“Thank you.” I whispered, letting another tear fall down my cheek.

“Anytime. Mic, pass me that will ya.” She said, causing me to giggle at her statement.

“Manners please.” Mic said as he took another drag and waved in front of Bunni’s face.

“Please Mic. It’s been a long day.” She said and I laughed grabbing the joint out of Mics hands just as Bunni was about to grab it.

“Try and get it stop me now!” I called out as I started running around the road getting away from Bunni. “Mic where’s the car!” I yelled out as I was still dodging Bunni, while taking drags from the joint.

“Keep going that way! You will find it eventually!” He yelled out and I laughed in response as I kept running away from Bunni.

[sadhatter]

Immaculate Desire

SIX

DISCLAIMER

TW: Mental Illness', Terminal Illness', Drug Usage, Sexual, Mental and Physical abuse as well as Unhealthy and Toxic Households and Relationships

Chapter Releases: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Tags: @dekushandcanchokeme

English | Japanese

5:17 pm

Friday 17th August

Iris’s POV

 The afternoon breeze tickled my nose as the cigarette smoke pushed through my lips, my eyes following as the wind carried the smoke away. Looking into the sky, sighing and bringing the cigarette back to my lips to take another drag. My red and purple hair blowing into my face, blocking my eyesight of the birds that flew over my hair and disappearing behind the large building that I stood in front of. We were still waiting for my mum to get out of surgery, the doctors telling us it will be at least another hour. I saw broad shoulders come into my peripherals, my eyes moving towards the new figure, landing on Mirio who had a soft and kind smile gracing his lips. His beautiful, bright blue eyes now tainted with sadness and worry.

“Hey.” That’s all he said. Mirio talks a lot, and sometimes you can’t stop him when he talks, but somehow, he always knew when to keep it simple and short. Call it the good person in him, but I’d like to think it’s a second quirk, it’s to spot on and perfect for it to just be a skill.

“Hey.” I replied quietly, taking another drag of the cigarette in my hand.

“We don’t have to talk about it, I just want to know if you’re okay.” He told me as he watched the sky carefully, like he was in deep thought. I looked at him, and tried to speak, but nothing came out. “Iris, I don’t want to know, I need to know.” He said as he looked down, into my eyes. That’s when I saw it, the desperation and need in his eyes for closure.

“No.” I breathed out, feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I sighed in relief. “No Mirio, I’m not okay.” I told him as I looked into the sky, seeing out of the corner of my eye that he followed my gaze back towards the sky. “But I will be, I always am.” I said, making sure my confidence was noticeable. I heard him chuckle as a reply, making my head snap towards him. “What are you chuckling about aye?”

“I feel like I’ve heard that before.”

“Because it’s true.” I told him again, throwing my cigarette on the ground and stepping it out with my foot. “I want coffee.”

“Let’s get you some coffee then.” He told me before turning on his heel and making his way back into the hospital. We made our way to the cafeteria and towards the coffee machine. Mirio got two cups and moved towards the instant coffee. “One shot, two sugars and milk? Correct?” He said without looking up from the little table he stood at.

“Ah, yeah?” I replied, my voice laced with confusion.

“Didn’t think I’d know your order, did you?” He said, and I could just feel his shit-eating grin that dawned his lips.

“Most people don’t.” I mustered up the ability to reply through my confusion.

“Well, I’m not like most people.” He said, turning his head to look over his shoulder back at me with a smirk.

“Obviously.” I said as I turned my head away, trying to hide the heat that was rising my up neck, but by the way he was chuckling told me that I failed miserably. He finished the coffee’s and turned back to me, handing me a cup with a sweet smile on his face.

“Shall we head back?” He said putting his arm up, gesturing towards the exit.

“We shall.” The walk back was peaceful and quiet, it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. The silence actually bought me ease. We finally made it back to the waiting room to see that we were the only ones in the OR Waiting Room now. Just Bunni, Nejire, Tamaki, Mirio and I.

Without saying another word, I moved to the bag that Bunni bought back for me and moved towards the back of the waiting room, sitting down in front of the large windows that showed me a view of the different buildings that surrounded us and the passing cars the drove by. I pulled a blanket out from my bag and leaned back against the wall. The blanket was flung over my legs and my coffee sat in my hands that were squished between my legs and chest. I could feel the eyes of my friends laying on me, making me feel a bit safer.

Taking a sip of my coffee, I leaned my head against the window and breathed out quietly. At this moment, for the first time since I got that call from Aiya, I’m not feeling or thinking about anything. Yes, that scared me, but at this point, feeling nothing was better than feeling all the negative emotions that would usually be overwhelming me. I continued to look out the window, letting myself zone out as I enjoyed the nothingness and my coffee.

“Iris?” I shook my head and turned to the seat in front of me to see Mirio again.

“Mirio.”

“Can I sit here with you?” He asked and I looked at him with confusion, why was he the only one to come over here and ask, if anything I thought it would be Bunni who came over and tried to cheer me up. But when I scanned the room, I didn’t see Bunni anywhere.

“Did Bunni go home?” I asked him as my eyes slowly drifted back to his face.

“Ah no, she went to the cafeteria a little bit ago, Tamaki’s gone to find her now.” Mirio told me and it wasn’t till then that I noticed that he was still standing.

“Mirio.”

“Yeah?”

“Sit the fuck down.”

“Yes ma’am.” He quickly replied and sat down in the seat next to me. Well, in front of me really.

“You know you don’t have to ask right?” I said as I sat up a bit, finishing the last bit of my coffee and putting the cup on the ground next to me.

“You looked like you wanted to be alone, that’s all.” He said, looking down at his hands and letting his fingers play with each other.

“Mirio, your welcome to sit with me anytime you like, even if I do want to be alone.” I told him with a tired smile. Finally looking into his eyes, I saw fear. Fearful of what? I couldn’t tell ya, but I knew it was fear, I’ve seen that face before. I wanted to question it, but I couldn’t find the words. Even though I’ve seen that look before, I’ve never seen it on him, and it mesmerized me.

“Fuck you’re beautiful,” I heard him say quietly as he leaned his head on the back of the chair. “Even with nothing behind those eyes.”

“What?” Suddenly breathless, I was able to squeak out one word.

“I’m sorry, shit,” He started as he quickly raised to his feet and gathering his composure. “I’ll go.”

“Wait!” I yelled out as I turned my body in the chair and looked at his body with desperation, knowing it made all the heads in this room turn to me. Mirio stopped in his tracks, not daring to look at me. “Please stay.” I whispered as I looked down at my feet that were covered in socks. “I don’t want to be alone.” I clasped my hands together, rubbing them harshly, one of the things in did when my anxiety was getting the better of me.

My mind started to run a thousand miles an hour, and it hurt. A headache slowly started to form, but I didn’t pay any attention to it. I just needed someone here, I needed him here. He bought me a sense of safety I have never felt with anyone else, including Bunni. The only thing I could feel was my fingers digging into my hands, knowing there will be bruises later. The grip my hands had on each other grew tighter and tighter as seconds went by. Tighter and tighter until I felt large, rough hands clasping around mine. My head raised and my eyes met Mirio’s. Tears now threatening to fall from my eyes.

“Iris, I’ll never leave you alone.” He told me, certainty coating his voice like a thick coat of black paint on a white canvas. Relief washed over me as I looked into his eyes, knowing he was telling the truth. I moved my forehead to his and let it rest there for a second or two before speaking up.

“Thank you.” My voice was still shaky and quiet as I took in the moment, not knowing when I’ll get to be like this with him again, even if it was under shitty circumstances. We moved away from each other and I watched him move back to the seat, pulling the arm rest up with a gentle smile on his face. I smiled back at him, this time it wasn’t forced or fake, it was genuine, even if it was only small and trembling slightly. I moved closer to him, leaning my head on his shoulder and throwing the blanket over the both of us, soon falling into a deep sleep.

I woke up to loud steps. Not just normal footsteps in a quiet room. They were like giant’s footsteps. I slowly rose from my reclined position and realized I was no longer in the hospital; I was nowhere actually. All I could see was darkness. I quickly turned on my feet, hoping to see Mirio there, but there only sat a desk, specifically a school desk. My feet moved towards the desk before my brain could tell them to go the other way. My fingers grazed over the wooden desk over a few scratch marks, stopping on a pair of names. ‘Bunni and Iris 4EVA’ was scratched into the desk and I realized this was my middle school desk.

“Iris.” A low, rough and scaley voice rung through my ears. I turned my body and suddenly I was in my middle school classroom. The footsteps getting louder and louder, until the door to the classroom flew open, footsteps stopping and there I saw my middle school teacher. Mr. Okazaki. I could feel my legs going weak as I leaned back on the table and looked down trying to avoid his gaze when I saw the outfit I was in, making me jump back up again and inspect further. Middle School Uniform. Why was I hear.

“You’ve been a bad girl, haven’t you?” His voice spoke again, getting closer and closer every word he spoke. I snapped my head towards him and he stopped in his tracks as he looks carefully into my eyes. “But you’re my bad girl, aren’t you?”

“Leave me alone.” I started off quietly, thunder rumbling quietly around the room.

“Oh Iris, don’t be like that, you were never this difficult when you were younger.” As he started to take more steps towards me the thunder in the room got louder and louder as my anxiety got worse.

“I’m not the same young and naive girl that you coaxed into the closet.” I said finally standing my ground and fixing my posture. “You can’t hurt me anymore.”

“Is that so?” His face was now right in mine, and seeing him this close again, I couldn’t hold the strong composure I was faking. He had full control over me and he knew it. My legs go weak and I fall back onto the desk, only hearing a low, evil chuckle coming from the man in front of me. “That’s what I thought, now be a good girl and be quiet.” He said as he grabbed a hold of one of my arms, his other hand grabbing a firm grip on my thigh. I started to cry and plead for him to stop, only to be met with tighter grips and harder shoves.

“Iris.” A faint voice, not from the one in front of me. One I knew but couldn’t tell who it was.

“Iris.” The voice got slightly louder, until my name was suddenly screamed, jerking myself up, and finding myself back in the hospital. I rose to my feet, looking around frantically.

“Iris? You, okay?” I turned around and saw Bunni standing there with confused look on her face. “What’re you looking for?”

“Bunni.” I breathed out before running towards her and throwing my arms around her neck.

“Iris? What’s going on?”

“It was so real.” Was all I could manage to reply, it hurt to even think that it came back to haunt me, now of all times. I just stood there and held Bunni for about a minute before I jumped back from her and whipped around again to see Mirio. Relief and safety washing over me. He was now standing looking at me with concern. I quickly moved towards him and wrapped my arms around his torso and laying my head on his chest. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Of course, I’m, okay? Iris,” He started as he pulled away from me, grabbed my biceps and bent down a bit to look into my eyes. “Please tell me.” The hurt in his eyes bought me more hurt than anyone could ever bring to me. Not Bunni, not Mr. Okazaki, no one. It was in this moment I knew I could never keep a secret from this man, not anymore. I really needed him and I knew he needed me, even if it wasn’t in the same way.

“Let’s go somewhere else? Okay.” I said to him as I walked over to my bag and dug through it for a bit.

“Like where?” He asked and I turned around and showed him the cigarette that I was looking for.

“Outside, if I’m going to tell you this shit, I need a smoke.” I said with a smirk on my lips, actually feeling at ease and not scared to tell this man everything. It’s our last year of school, who knows if we will see each other after, so it’s best to tell him now while I still have the chance, right?

The quiet walk to the front of the building was comforting, like it was before. When I think about it more, I have never felt uncomfortable or unsafe while Mirio was around. Something in me made me wash over in relief every time I laid my eyes on him. Even now when everything around me is crumbling, I look at him and I see hope for myself and everyone around me. We finally made it outside and a bit away from the building before I lit my smoke, shoving the lighter back into my pocket.

“In middle school, I was molested by my teacher.” I started bluntly and out of nowhere. Now it wasn’t the comfortable silence. I could feel the tension seeping into my back.

“Iris, we don’t have to talk about this.” He from behind me, when I turned to face him, he was sitting on the bench looking at me with intent and curiosity.

“You want to know; I want you to know. I’m telling you.” I said as I moved towards him and sat on the bench next to him. “He told me he needed to talk to me after school, something about my grade.” I started, continuously taking drags from the cigarette. “But that obviously wasn’t true. He told me he needed help in the store room, and me being young and naïve, I followed him.” I continued the story, sparing the gory details I’m sure he doesn’t want to hear. “The only reason why it didn’t go any further was because I told him I was on my period so he couldn’t take my pants off. He let me go after that. Sending me on my merry way with a large red hand print on my thigh and definite bruises the next day. After that I went solid months being scared of being alone. Every time I left the apartment, mum or Bunni had to be there with me, otherwise I would have a mental breakdown in the middle of the street. Even being home alone I was scared; he was my teacher and he knew where I lived. I was petrified to be in my own home. Every time mum went to work, I was at Bunni’s, shitting myself because I didn’t know what to do.” I ended up ranting about what happened after the incident, never really getting to open up this much about all the shit I have been through.

“Iris, why do you want to tell me this?” He asked me, turning his head to look into my eyes. I met his gaze and smiled.

“Because I got through it. I’m still here today, I’m able to walk outside of my house, by myself without worrying who’s out there. I’m telling you this because after all this shit with mum, I’ll be okay.” I said genuinely, throwing the cigarette away and grabbing his hands, wrapping mine around them. It wasn’t until now that I really noticed the size difference between us.

“How were you able to get over something like that?” He asked and I scoffed at his question. “What?”

“It’s not about getting over it. It’s about coming to terms with it and moving on.” I said, grabbing his hands tighter. “I’ll never get over it Mirio, it’s a part of me now. But I won’t let that define me either.” I told him and he smiled slightly before taking one of his hands from mine and rubbing the top of my head. Making me blush wildly, not being able to hold it back.

“I’m proud of you for being so strong, and I’m sorry you had to go through this alone.” He said as he rubbed my head gently.

“That’s the thing, I wasn’t alone, and I won’t be alone with this either. Ill have you, and Tamaki, and Nejire.” I said with probably the most genuine smile I’ve had all day.

“And Bunni, don’t forget her.” He said with a chuckle at the end, causing me to giggle slightly.

“I’ll always have that bitch, she can’t leave me, she knows too much.” I said with a slight laugh at the end. I felt his eyes staring into the side of my face. I slowly turned my head to see I look of adoration in his eyes. “What?”

“So beautiful.” He whispered, causing me to blush again. He chuckled before pulling me into a hug. “C’mon, let’s go back in.” He whispered into my ear and I just sunk into his chest more.

“In a minute, I just want to stay like this for a bit longer.”

[sadhatter]

Immaculate Desire

FIVE

DISCLAIMER

TW: Mental Illness', Terminal Illness', Drug Usage, Sexual, Mental and Physical abuse as well as Unhealthy and Toxic Households and Relationships

Chapter Releases: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Tags: @dekushandcanchokeme

English | Japanese

4:24 pm

Friday 17th August

Bunni’s POV

 For some, it was a blur, for others, like me, it went in slow motion. Everything slowed down almost to a halt and I watched everything play out like I was watching a movie. The way her face went from laughing and smiling, to fear, then to terror in a matter of seconds told me everything I needed to know. I immediately knew it had to do with Izumi, she never froze like that in any other situation other than when it came to her mom. Then her phone dropped from her hand, that’s when it all slowed down for me.

The phone sunk to the ground, shattering on impact, rendering it barely readable, then she took off running. Getting faster and faster as she disappeared around a corner.

“What just happened?” Nejire spoke up with utter shock as I walked over to her shattered phone and made out the name on the other end. I bought the phone up to my ear to see if it was still working, and surprisingly after the drop and the large surge of electricity it still worked.

“Hello?” I spoke, hoping to find an answer on the phone.

“Bunni? Oh, thank god, is Iris still the-” before Aiya could finish her sentence, I quickly cut her off, knowing that any minute Iris would show up and probably cause a stir.

“Aiya! Where are you?” I asked her, desperation clearly showing through my failing tough voice.

“The hospital, Iris’s mum relapsed.” She told me and I knew the extent that Iris would go if it all went bad.

“I’ll be there soon, but I might be too late.” I told her before trying to hang up the phone, but because of the shattered screen it didn’t work. I threw the phone to the side, knowing Iris wouldn’t be able to use it anyway and turned back to Nejire, Tamaki and Mirio, who had the most worried expression out of all of them. “We have to go to the hospital, like now.”

“What? Why?” Mirio pushed in front of Tamaki and Nejire to get closer to me.

“Listen, Iris’s mom has lung cancer, and it’s come back, worse this time. She is already at the hospital so we have to get there before she kills someone.” I said as I walked up to everyone grabbing their bags and quickly running back into the convenience store.

“Bunni?” I heard Mrs. Ito say, sounded confused and concerned.

“Can you hold onto our bags for us for a little bit? We need to go get Iris.” I said and Mr. Ito nodded as she took the bags off the counter that I placed them on.

“Where has she run off too this time?” Mrs. Ito sounded genuinely really concerned.

“It’s her mother, I’m sure she will inform you the next time she sees you. I have to go but thank you, so much.” I said as I ran out the door, not sticking around any longer to have a chat. “Ready?” I yelled out as I ran back to the group and they all nodded before following me away from the convenience store. I watched them firmly nod before Nejire and Tamaki flew into the air while Mirio and I ran not far behind them.

“How long has Iris’s mum had cancer?” Mirio yelled out as we ran at full speed.

“Two years last month, she’s never fully recovered from the effects of chemo but it came back, and the person suffering the most, more than her mother is Iris herself.” I yelled back. He became revoltingly quiet, and his face that had determination and anger written on it made me feel uneasy inside. We continued to run for a good 15 minutes before we finally made it to the hospital. We walked in and saw nothing going on in the reception area, but a security guard came running up to us not long after we arrived.

“You guys are from U.A, right? You have the same uniform as the girl going crazy upstairs.” The security guard spoke and I rolled my eyes and groaned at the way he described my best friend.

“white, fluffy hair? Around my height, really fucking skinny?” I asked him and he nodded before walking away, indicating for us to follow him. We followed him to the elevator and he pressed the sixth-floor button, recognizing that floor as the Oncology ward. “What happened?”

“Everything was fine, but suddenly the front doors were kicked open by this random girl. We thought it may have been a villain attack but when we saw the uniform, we didn’t call authorities, if you guys didn’t show up sooner, we would’ve put her in the psych ward.” He started before the elevator alarm dings, and the doors opened, already hearing the muffled screams from my friend. “She walked straight past reception, into oncology then started demanding to see her mother, but she’s in surgery right now so she can’t see her.”

“Surgery?” I questioned quietly as we rounded a corner. There, standing a little bit away from the front desk and about 3 security guards surrounding her was Iris. Tears running down her cheeks, claw marks at her neck, indicating that she has been scratching again, and her uniform now more unruly than before.

 “What don’t you understand! I’m her legal guardian! I’m 18 and she’s clearly unfit to make any decision for herself. You have to let me in there! She’s alone!”

“I understand Miss Bancroft, but this was a life-or-death situation, she could’ve died if we didn’t get her in surgery immediately.” A man in a white coat stood a little away from Iris, holding a clip board and a file.

“But why? That’s what you haven’t told me! You told me you got rid of all the tumors in her lungs!” Iris screamed back at the doctor, trying to find some answers, but only getting more questions.

“Miss Bancroft-”

“DON’T, call me that.” Iris spoke loudly at first before lowering her voice a little bit.

“Iris, it looks like the cancer has spread, can we please talk about this in the quiet room.” The doctor spoke, I couldn’t let her do this alone.

“No! Tell me now!” She yelled back before I could interrupt, I looked on in anticipation, seeing if he would speak up at all.

“It’s spread to her brain, and it looks like she will be in the hospital for a while.” I could tell the doctor was trying to be sympathetic towards the girl, but he obviously didn’t have much experience with the way that Iris lashes out.

“Iris!” I finally found my voice and yelled out to her, causing her to whip her head towards us. She smiled slightly before completely breaking, her knees gave out on her and she dropped to the ground. Another thing in slow motion was when all of us ran towards the breaking girl. Yes, I saw this side of her a lot, but even hugging her I can feel the weight she bares on her shoulders. I couldn’t imagine what the other three are going through. They have never seen Iris like this, never seen such a confident and strong girl fall from grace so hard. After a couple minutes, Iris finally calmed down a little and we moved her to the seats.

“Miss Banc- ah, Iris, may I ask you a question?” The doctor came up to us and looked at Iris with a proper sympathetic look that I’ve never seen come from another doctor. Iris’s head slowly raised from my shoulder and she nodded her head slightly. “Your mother has a sort of regenerative quirk, yes?” He asked and her eyes grew confused as she sat up a bit straighter.

“Ah no, she had super speed, so I guess she has accelerated healing. I’ve watched her break a couple bones and just walk it off.” Iris spoke, smiling slightly at the memory she recalled. I remember some of those times as well. Izumi Shimura, aka, Blur, was a pro-hero in Australia after starting her career here in Japan. She was number 7 in Australia, being dropped to 13 in Japan, but that never stopped her. When I moved over here with my family, she was the first hero I saw. She was bright and her smile would light up even the darkest corners of the world. Finding out we moved right next door to her was a shock, and becoming a friend of her daughters was an even bigger surprise.

One time she broke her leg when Iris and I were only 10, by hanging decorations on the apartment complex with some of the other adults. She was on a ladder and then slipped and fell, breaking her leg instantly, the crack and crunch of the bones stung everyone’s ears, Iris was petrified, thinking her mother was going to die. Though after about thirty seconds her mother rose from the ground, wiping the grass and dirt that was on her back, then climbed back up the ladder and continued with her job. Izumi was truly my hero, when the news broke that she got cancer, all I could think about was “What is Iris going through.” And that’s all I could think about.

“Okay, well I have good and bad news regarding that.” The doctor said, snapping me out of thought. Iris hummed in response, not looking to really talk. “Her healing factor is what’s keeping the tumor at bay, the thing is, her quirk is quickly declining and sooner or later the tumor will catch up with her.” He informed her, instead of letting Iris speak, knowing that what he said would trigger some things in her.

“What do you mean sooner or later?” I asked, with a bit of poison spitting off my tongue, making sure I knew I wasn’t happy with his wording.

“We don’t know how long she has left, right now, the only thing keeping her alive is her quirk.” The doctor looked down, not wanting to confront us. “We will, ah, we will come and get you when you can go and see her.” He said before swiftly leaving with nothing more said. Iris sighed and leaned back into the chair, throwing her head back.

“You guys don’t have to stay.” Iris spoke, the tiredness in her voice peeking through as she raised her head again and shared her looks with the four of us.

“Well, that’s a flat out lie.” Mirio spoke up as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Huh?”

“Iris, you know damn well we are going to stay for as long as we want.” I told her as I rose from my seat. “But I am going to go get you and me a change of clothes, I can go get you guys some clothes as well?” I said as I looked over at Mirio, Tamaki and Nejire, waiting for their reply. They all looked back at me weirdly and I sighed. “Not from my closet you dummies, just message one of your parents and I’ll go get the bag they pack.”

“Are you sure? It’s not out of the way, is it?” Mirio asked while looking up from his phone.

“Nah, you guys are on the way back here so I’ll grab them on the way back. I’ll get mom to drive, whether she likes it or not.” I informed them and They thanked me before I grabbed my things and started to leave the waiting room. “Oh, and I’ll get your bags from Ito’s don’t worry.”

[sadhatter]

Immaculate Desire

FOUR

DISCLAIMER

TW: Mental Illness', Terminal Illness', Drug Usage, Sexual, Mental and Physical abuse as well as Unhealthy and Toxic Households and Relationships

Chapter Releases: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Tags: @dekushandcanchokeme

English | Japanese

4:07 pm

Friday 17th August

Iris’s POV

 The doors to the convenience store slid open and I made my way in before everyone else. Moving towards the snack section, my eyes laid on a Coffee Cream Treat, and on instinct my hand moved towards the delicious food. Once I picked the treat up, I moved towards the cold drink section and found my usual drink, a Strawberries and Cream Fanta. But luck was on my side today and the very specific drink I wanted was on the top shelf, where my short arms couldn’t reach.

“Can’t reach aye?” I turned my head to see Bunni looking at me, trying to hold in a laugh.

“I would like to see you try.” I told her with a stern look in my eyes, causing her to shut her mouth immediately and walk away. “Exactly!” I yelled out to her as I watched her frame disappear behind an isle of food. I turned my head to look back at the drink but noticed it was gone. I turned to my left to see Mirio standing there with a bright smile and the drink I was looking for being held out to me. The sudden discovery made me jump back with a quiet shriek. “JESUS CHRIST MIRIO!”

“You wanted this?” He asked innocently, like he didn’t do that on purpose to scare the shit out of me. I looked at the drink with suspicion before slowly moving my hand forwards. Just as I was about to take the drink from him, he pulled it away from my grip, then it repeated, just faster and faster each time.

“Mirio! Give me the god damned drink!” My voice raised and all he did was chuckle as he put the drink above his head, watching me jump up and down like a lunatic trying to get this one stupid drink.

“Manners.” He sung out and I groaned as I stopped my jumping.

“Mirio, thank you for getting the drink for me, can I please have it now?” I asked while looking into his eyes, showing him my genuine need for this drink.

“That was okay I guess.” He said handing the drink over to me, only leaving me with a shocked face.

“Okay? I looked into your eyes; you know I have a thing with eye contact!” I yelled out, following him to the counter to pay for everything, not even noticing the drink he picked out for himself. Before I could make it to the counter Bunni grabbed my arm and dragged me away to another section of the store then pulled me to the floor.

“What are you do-”

“Shh.” She said as she put her hand over my mouth. My head moved towards the door to the convenience store, causing a ding to ring through the store. My eyes rolled at who I saw and I quickly shrugged Bunni off of me. Through I stayed in my position and watched as the guy made his way over to the drink fridge and back to the cashier, paying for his drink and leaving. Once the man disappeared, we rose from the floor and moved back to the counter.

“What happened to you pair?” Mirio asked as he looked back at us as we came from the isle.

“Yeah, it was just some guy from our school.” Nejire pointed out, making me groan slightly.

“That guy is my ex.” I spoke up and moved to the counter, ignoring the shocked looks from Mirio and Nejire and seeing Mrs. Ito make her way out of the back room.

“Ahh, hello my twins.” He said with a bright smile as she dismissed the other guy that was running the store at the time.

“Hi Mrs. Ito.” Both Bunni and I said in unison.

“Nejire.”

“Hi Mrs. Ito,” Nejire spoke up, much more enthusiastic then both Cortney and I combined, seeming snapping out of her shocked state pretty quickly. “How was your day?”

“It was great, thanks for asking lovely. Who are these fine men with you?” She asked, looking past the girl to find Mirio and Tamaki.

“Hello, I’m Togata Mirio!” Mirio spoke up as he bowed. “And this is Amajiki Tamaki.” Mirio introduced Tamaki for him, him bowing not long after the introductions. I watched Mrs. Ito scan my two items then look up to me and leaned over the counter a bit, I followed her actions to hear what she had to say.

“You and the blond one seem close.” She told me with a shit eating grin on her, I pulled away from her, immediately knowing what she was implying.

“It’s nothing like that.” I tried to clear up but when I saw Nejire lean over out of the corner of my eye I knew she was about to say something out of line.

“That doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future.”

“Okay! Time to go! Thanks Ito!” I said as I put a bill on the counter and started to push Nejire out of the store.

“Oh Iris! One more thing!” Mrs. Ito called out to me, and even though I was reluctant, I turned my head to look at the older lady. “Your father is downstairs, just wanted you to know.” She said with concerned eyes, and usually it was a bad thing when he was there, but today, it was probably the best day for it.

“Great he’s in town. Thanks Ito.” I said with a genuinely thankful look in my eyes, hoping she saw it.

I finally got Nejire outside and pushed her a little away from me. I opened the Coffee Cream Treat and ate it pretty quickly. I was finishing it as I saw Mirio and Tamaki walk out of the store, Bunni behind them waving back at Mrs. Ito. I moved a bit away from the group and pulled out a cigarette, placing the stick between my lips and digging through my pockets for my lighter. I quickly found it and lit the cigarette swiftly.

“Who was that guy though?” I heard Mirio say as he made his way closer to me.

“My ex, he’s from General.” I told him, taking another drag of the cigarette that I held. “Messy break-up, so we’ll leave it at that.” I informed the larger man with a dead and tired look in my eyes.

As it got later in the day, I found it really hard to hold up a façade. I always did. That’s why I would only train for an hour or so after school and quickly get home, but after three years, it’s about time they knew what was actually going on.

“Well, if anything bad happens, I want you to remember that I’m here for you.” My head shot up to scan the face where those words just came from and only saw a gentle smile, yet when I looked to his eyes, I saw fear and concern.

“Mirio, I-”

“Iris! I need to talk to you!” Bunni yelled as she made her way over to us, taking the smoke out of my hand and linking her arm with mine. “Sorry Mirio, you will get her back soon.”

“Bunni, what are you doing now?” I asked her as she dragged me away from everyone again and sat me down on a bench. She took a drag of the cigarette then passed it back to me.

“I sort of just forced it on you to let them come and meet your mom, I just want to make sure you’re okay with it? I know you haven’t told them anything about your home life so I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you o-”

“Bunni!” I yelled out to stop her rambling, which to my surprise it actually worked. She looked into my eyes expectantly and I sighed and smiled at her. “I’ve been sheltering them for no reason, they are going to be heroes, and so are we. This, what they are about to see and know, is nothing okay? This isn’t about protecting them anymore, because they don’t need to be protected, it’s about moving on with our lives.” I told her and her eyes slowly started to relax, yet I could still see the concern in her eyes. I took one last drag of the smoke before flicking it away and jumping up. “Can’t you see. This is my chance to escape my dark mind and become the person I want to be. Same with you. This is just the start of our story Court, and I can promise you there will be all sorts of plot twists and happy endings coming our way.” I watched as she quickly raised to her feet with a bright smile and grabbed my hands.

“Yeah okay!” She spoke up, sounding more and more confident by the second. I went to go and hug her but my ringtone –Mii Channel Theme –stung my ears slightly and I felt vibrations in my skirt pocket. “Sorry, hold on.” I said to Bunni before pulling out my phone.

“Is that the Mii Channel? From that really fucking old console?” Bunni asked me and I looked up at her with an innocent look in my eyes.

“No.”

“You’re a fucking joke.” She said as she walked away laughing. I chuckled at her actions before looking at my phone that was still ringing, showing Aiya’s name. fear and concern instantly overwhelming me as a answered the phone and slowly bought it to my ear to prepare myself for what’s coming.

“Aiya? What’s going on?” You could hear the fear in my voice as he quivered and my body shaking. I slowly turned around to look at my friends and could see that they immediately noticed my concern.

“It’s your mum, you need to come to the hospital right now.” Her voice was shaking slightly, and I couldn’t help the emotions that overwhelmed me. Fear, concern, worry, hurt, anger, sadness, all of the emotion that weren’t good flooded me.

[sadhatter]

Immaculate Desire

THREE

DISCLAIMER

TW: Mental Illness', Terminal Illness', Drug Usage, Sexual, Mental and Physical abuse as well as Unhealthy and Toxic Households and Relationships

Chapter Releases: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Tags: @dekushandcanchokeme

English | Japanese

3:38 pm

Friday 17th August

Bunni’s POV

 “Your iron levels are perfect, as always. Must’ve had a good lunch.” Recovery Girl told me as she came back into the room with a piece of paper in her hands, lightly chuckling at the end of her statement.

“Why don’t you see for yourself.” I told her and she turned around confused just as I pulled the bento box out of my bag.

“Oh! More food from you, I couldn’t possibly accept.” She said being the nice professor she is and pushing the box back towards me.

“Too bad, I’m leaving it here, I’ll come by tomorrow to collect it.” I told her as I got the paper from the desk and had a look at the results myself. “Enjoy it Shuzenji, it’s not every day I hand out my food for free.” I wrapped my bag around my shoulder and left the room calling out to recovery girl and bowing slightly before almost bumping into Mirio.

 “Whatcha got there?” He said as he looked down at the single piece of paper in my hand.

“Blood levels.” I told him simply looking over them with a slight crook in my eyebrows.

“What do they say. Can you still train today?” He asked with slight worry in his tone.

“Oh no that’s fine, it my blood sugar, its down a bit.” I told him and he looked down at me with a confused look in his eyes.

“Eat more candy?”

“When I eat candy, it brings my iron down so I struggle to find a compromise between the two, not going really well.” I told him before folding the paper and slipping it into my bag.

“Surely FatGum can help you?” He asked as we continued down the hall towards the teachers’ lounge.

“Yeah, he has been, but he’s struggling as well.” I informed him just as we made it to the door to the teachers’ lounge.

“I’ll have a look as well, surely it can’t be that hard to find something sweet and high in iron.” He told me as he knocked on the door, sounding very hopeful, causing me to roll my eyes slightly.

“Good luck, Iris has been looking for longer than any of us.” I told him while looking up and I watched his eyes grow slightly sad. “Hey no I didn’t mean to upset you or anything, I’m sure we will find something eventually.”

“No, not that. Do you think Iris is okay, she kinda rushed out back there?” He said looking down at me as the door swung open showing Present Mic.

“Mirio and Bunni? Not weird to see you together but alone together is weird, what’s up?” He said kinda loud but not at the same time, he was more concerned.

“Oh nothing, were here to get the key for Gym C.” Mirio told him, putting a smile on his face and Mic visibly look relieved.

“Oh, thank god, I thought one of you got hurt.” He told us and I chuckled at his statement. he gave us his keys and told us to bring them back to him when were done, informing us he will be there for a while.

“Thanks Mic, you’re the best.” I told him trying to inflate his ego more but he wasn’t falling for it.

“You want a higher grade? Maybe next time sweetheart.” He said closing the door leaving Mirio and I there chuckling to ourselves before moving towards the gym once again.

“Oh Mirio.”

“Yeah?”

“About Iris, some shit is happening at home okay, I’m only telling you this cause’ I know you care about her. She’s not okay now but she will be, she always is. She’s stronger than she looks, okay?” I told him while looking down at the ground, worrying about her myself but trying to stay strong.

“Okay.” He replied quietly, thankful he didn’t press any further. He may have been slightly shallow but he was still able to read emotions and know when and when to not push. “Can you promise me something though?”

“That depends on what it is.” I told him, slight fear swallowing my heart.

“If stuff gets out of hand, can you tell me? I care about her a lot.” He said, suddenly starting to fiddle with his hands. Something I usually noticed he would do when he was lost.

“Promise.”

 We finally made it to the gym and Mirio unlocked the door, pushing it open and standing to the side to let me inside first. I curtsied while he bowed, slightly laughing at each other.

“Right, quickly get changed and we will start.” I told him and he nodded making his way to the men’s changeroom while I moved towards the women’s. Thankfully it was after school so we didn’t have to wear the school uniform so I just got into some tight waist high shorts that pushed my extra skin in a bit and a sports bra, pulling my hair into a ponytail and putting on some cheap joggers I found from a local store.

 I walked out of the change room to see Mirio standing there with only track pants on and a flimsy singlet. Sometimes I would wonder why he even wear clothes when training with us. Nejire, Iris and I have been seeing Mirio randomly loose his clothes since our first year, Tamaki has definitely seen it more.

“Ready princess?” I yelled out to him and he quickly turned around and started jumping around on the spot and shaking his arms.

“Yeah, c’mon short stack.” He said as his clothes suddenly came off and him fall through the floor. I watched him come back up into the sky and about to fall onto me.

“I didn’t tell you my iron levels, did I?” I yelled out to him and I watched his face coat with confusion as his closed fist slammed onto the top of my head. I turned my head to see Mirio stepping back a bit looking at his fist in confusion.

“Do I wanna know your levels?” He said with a slight chuckle at the end before bringing his eyes back to mine.

“Probably not.” I said before throwing my own fist at his face, which he immediately dodged by phasing through me. Which felt so weird must I say. “Please don’t do that again.”

“And why not?” He replied with a smirk and I scoffed at his reply before lunging back towards him, throwing punch after punch his way, which he easily dodged, not even using his quirk now.

“Because it feels weird okay!” I yelled while still throwing punches. His fist suddenly came flying towards my face, I quickly ducked and threw one of my legs around to knock him down. Quickly getting up I put my foot onto his back, activating my quirk and started to put my weight into his back. I could hear the slight groans coming from his lips before he activated his own quirk and disappeared trough the floor.

This little action threw me off by miles. Mirio’s quirk works through trajectory force, but he just sunk. So, was he going to come back up in the same spot, or somewhere else? I looked around, keeping my quirk activated while anticipating his re-appearance. Suddenly I felt an arm wrap around my neck and pull me to the ground, having me in a choke hold, though it didn’t do anything, considering my quirk was still activated.

“You do realize nothing is happening, right?” I asked him with a bored tone and I heard him chuckle before my head was suddenly bought to the ground I laid on. A faint ringing, rung through my ears, feeling my iron levels slowly dropping. “Oh, I see what you’re doing.”

“I’m proud of you for catching on, I mean, if you think about it, slowly depleting your iron is the only way for me to defeat you.” He said as he slowly raised from the ground again. “Neither of our attacks will land on each other, that’s why I wanted to train with you. To test my limits, maybe help you find yours too.” He said with a bright smile on his face. It wasn’t a cocky smirk and a stern stare, but his usual, bright, welcoming smile that he graced us all with.

“Should I feel privileged?” I said with a sarcastic tone, trying to diffuse the sappiness and continue our training.

“Probably? I usually train with Iris.” He said with a scoff, causing me to roll my eyes, but as I was about to run at him the doors to the gym open, to see Nejire and Tamaki walking in together, Iris following not too far behind.

“Iris!” I yelled out running towards her. She looked up from the ground and raced herself for the incoming contact that was about to be made. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” I asked her with concern coloring my eyes.

“It’s fine, Snipe said that he still wants to see my mum and talk to her himself.” She informed me and I knew there was a something she wasn’t telling me.

“What else??” I asked her quietly and she looked into my eyes with determination yet fear at the same time.

“I’m scared Court, I don’t want to leave her.” She sobbed out through quiet chokes and sniffles me and I quickly bought her into a hug.

“I think we should tell them?” I told her as I buried my face into her hair. She pulled away with a confused look in her eyes, while her cheeks were tear-stained. “They will understand, and they can be there for you.” I told her with confidence as I looked into deep ocean blue eyes. I could tell she was thinking about it, every time she was thinking hard about something, her nose would scrunch up a bit.

“Okay.”

[sadhatter]

Immaculate Desire

TWO

DISCLAIMER

TW: Mental Illness', Terminal Illness', Drug Usage, Sexual, Mental and Physical abuse as well as Unhealthy and Toxic Households and Relationships

Chapter Releases: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Tags: @dekushandcanchokeme

English | Japanese

8:16 am

Friday 17th August

Bunni’s POV

 We made it to the school and made our way towards the third floor where the third-year classes are. On the way we passed a bunch of first and second years, all turning their heads looking in awe. To say I was confused about the looks at first was an understatement, though after the year passed it became a natural thing to me. Iris and I used to talk about the stares and came to the conclusion they were looking at Nejire since she’s apart of ‘The Big Three’.

 But the more it happens the more I notice the lingering eyes on me and Iris as well. Though her oblivious ass never noticed it, always walking through the halls with no care in the world. Though considering the shit she has been through, her not caring is understandable. I can no longer count the number of times she has come to my door with tear-stained cheeks and running make-up. Time over time she was betrayed and used, she finally came to the conclusion of not caring or giving a fuck about anyone or anything unless she was absolutely certain they cared for her.

 We made it up the last flight of stairs, Nejire still continued to walk to our class but when she didn’t hear the second and third pair of footsteps that usually resides beside her, she turned around to see me and Iris basically on the floor dying.

“Dude we have to quit smoking.” I spoke up from my position on the floor, looking over towards Iris who was leaning against the wall, her legs limp.

“And live in a depressive state? No thanks, I’ll pass.” She said through large breaths of air, trying to regain her composure. I gave her a slight chuckle while looking at her frame, though I still couldn’t help but let my mind wander to the slim girl that stood in front of me.

She is a very easily manipulated girl, like me, but the difference between me and her is that when I get hurt from someone and realize their manipulating or using me, I completely cut all contact off with them. Iris always gave second chances, believing people could change, but after years and years of this she finally opened her eyes and stopped giving a shit about anything. At first, I was worried, because she started to do shit she never would’ve done before, going out and smoking at the park by herself, not caring if she got caught for being underage, even trying harder drugs and sending herself into a state of unconsciousness, just so she could feel something. I thought that I might’ve lost my best friend because of the awful people that have hurt her. After her life was nearly taken from her, she stopped the harder drugs yet couldn’t seem to quit cigarettes or pot, considering it was around her all the time. She finally told me everything that happened and my heart broke.

She was a beautiful, kind and warm girl who didn’t deserve any of the hardships that’s she has gotten in her life. All she does is give and give and never asks for anything in return. She grew to have a mentality that anyone can do whatever they want, but until they hurt her or any of her friends, she would go to the ends of the world to find this person and put them in their place. That is the real difference. I still worry about what people think of me, hence why I put so much thought into my appearance, and sometimes even be a completely different person to please everyone. Iris on the other hand doesn’t have the need to be accepted by anyone now. Though the one thing that would break her now, is any of us leaving her, her biggest fear – other than circus clowns – is being left alone and isolated in the dark. She comes off as someone who is confident and unbreakable, but I’m the only one who knows the truth, I’m the only one who knows that she cries herself to sleep almost every night, I’m the only one who knows that she’s scared of her own home. Only I know the truth, because after everything, I have been there, and I will always be there for her, cause’ even when she was going through the worst time in her life, she still managed to put a smile on her face and be there for me.

 “Mirio! Put me down!” Iris’s loud screech snapped me out of the deep thought I was in, only to see Mirio smiling down at me with an Iris slung over his shoulder.

“Do you want a lift to?” He asked with a bright smile and I only laughed at his proposal.

“You can try, highly doubt it though!” At the end of the sentence, I was suddenly flung over Mirio’s shoulder only to see Iris with an unimpressed look on her face. “Fancy seeing you here.” I laughed slightly at my words.

“Shut the fuck up.” She told me in a bored and pissed of tone, which I only laughed at.

“Ah it’s not that bad up here.” I said as I looked next to Mirio and my eyes landed on Tamaki, my face going beet red. “MIRIO PUT ME DOWN!” I started to freak out, throwing my whole body around and slamming against my fists against his back.

“Who doesn’t want to be up here now?” Iris said with a shit eating grin and a slight chuckle on her face. It wasn’t any secret that I had the biggest crush on Tamaki, even Iris in her oblivious state knew I had a mad crush on him, the only people who seemed to not know was the man himself and the man who held me on his shoulder. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mirio, he’s one of my best friends, coming in a close second to Iris, but fuck he is so oblivious.

“Mirio, I swear if you don’t put me down, I will drown you in your own sweat.” I told him with a stern voice. There was no way I could be more threatening than Iris, but I could easily overpower Mirio if I tried hard enough.

“And I’ll just permeate through the sweat.”

“Then you will die of lack of oxygen, either way, I get the outcome I want, which is being PUT DOWN!” I yelled the last part, hitting his back with my fist. As my punches kept getting stronger and stronger, he could tell I was slowly activating my quirk and he quickly dropped me. “Thank you.” I said with a calm voice as I straightened out my uniform, though when my eyes landed on Tamaki, who also had a bright red blush spread across his face as he looked over my body, I ran and I could hear Iris’s chuckles in the background.

 I finally made it to the classroom and dropped into my seat. Why do I keep running from him? We have been friends for three years now, I’ve been in his class since I started this school and I still can’t look him in the eye. It wasn’t long after I planted myself in my seat did, I see Mirio walk in, Iris still slung over his shoulder, though she gave up on trying to escape his grasp, because she knew that without her quirk, he easily over-powered her. He placed her in her seat next to mine with ease, sort of looked like a father putting his 2-year-old daughter into her booster seat at the dinner table.

“There ya go.” He said with a bright smile and a slight pat on her head, which she dropped her head too, and I saw the light blush creep over her face but as quickly as it appeared it was gone. I tried to convince myself it was just a figment of my imagination but it was really hard for me to do that, considering it was so out of character that I couldn’t miss it.

“Was that a bit of red I saw.” I whispered as I leaned over to her and she just pushed me back and brushed it off with a wave of her hand. It wasn’t long after that, that our homeroom teacher, Snipe, walked in, telling us to settle down and reminding us of our schedule for the day.

“Oh also! Tomorrow I will be coming to talk to your parents about moving into an on-campus dorm system. Please make sure both your parents or the guardians you live with are there, if there are any problems please come and see me after class, I will be in the staff commons. Bunni! You should be good with just your mother.” Snipe finished before leaving the room, almost everyone knew that my parents split up, it became a big deal since in Japan the divorce rate is much, much lower than the U.S. Present Mic walked in with his loud and energetic vibe, ready to teach us English. Probably the only subject I’m good at, considering I come from an English-speaking country. Though hearing the last part about both parents, made me sad for the girl who sat next to me.

I turned towards her and saw her finger lingering over her mother’s contact in her phone, obviously contemplating if she should disturb her or not. My heart grew sympathetic at the situation she found herself in. Iris refused to talk about her home life, because she had her good days with her mum. Even though she is worried the entire time, they have their good days, days where her mum can walk and go outside with her.

 3:20 pm

Friday 17th August

Bunni’s POV

 The school day finished about 5 minutes ago and Mirio got up and made his way over to Iris and I who were still packing up. He waited for us to finish our conversation and just stood there in silence. Scaring the shit out of Iris when she went to turn to leave the room.

“WHAT THE FUCK TOGATA!” Iris screamed as she jumped back into me, and I chuckled at her.

“Hey Iris, did you want to come train with Bunni and I?” He asked and I watched her face fall to look at her feet.

“Better not, I have to make a few calls, maybe even see teach.” She said quietly, hurriedly pushing past him and making her way out the door, already having her phone out, looking at the contact her eyes were on this morning.

“Is she okay? She’s been out of it since homeroom this morning.” Nejire asked as she joined Mirio and I at my desk.

“Ah, yeah. Just some stuff on her mind I guess.” I tried to make up an excuse to cover for her, knowing it’s not my place to tell them what’s going on. She’s obviously not ready to taint her innocent friends with the second life she practically lived. I pulled my phone out and quickly messaged her.

 Hey babe, I know what ur doing and thinking, so just do it, theres no harm in calling her and asking what she thinks about it

I know, it’s just the mental block

Do you want me to be there with u

I should be good, u go train

 I sighed at her last text, knowing damn well that she won’t be ‘good’, but if I don’t listen to her and don’t go train, she will be more mad than sad, and we don’t want that. So reluctantly I put my phone in my pocket and turned to Mirio and Nejire, who now had Tamaki standing next to them with his head down and facing away from me. I face grew red again at the sudden appearance but I tried to brush it off.

“C’mon Mirio! We’re going to see Recovery Girl!” I said louder than I wanted to while pushing the wall that was Mirio Togata out the room.

 3:34 pm

Friday 17th August

Iris’s POV

 I stood in the hallway, looking at my phone which had mine and my mother’s massages opened. I contemplated messaging her about Snipe coming on Saturday, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. If I was being honest, I didn’t want to leave home and move into dorms. I wanted to be there for mum whenever she needed, and now more than ever is when she needs me.

I sunk to the ground against the wall with a tired look in my eyes. The hallway was empty so no one could see the single tear that fell down my face, well, I thought it was empty. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone come and sit against the wall to my right. I turned my head slightly to see Tamaki sitting next to me in silence. He was fiddling with his fingers that sat in his lap while keeping a stern stare on them. I decided to stay silent, knowing he was thinking intently on trying to say something, and if I interrupted, I knew it would freak him out and he would run.

Over the years, Tamaki and I got closer, at first, he couldn’t be anywhere near me, now he’s sitting right next to me. We have had conversations, but because of his mad social anxiety he keeps stuttering and tripping over his words, which I never minded. I have social anxiety myself, not the extent of Tamaki though, I went through a solid phase in my life where I had to have Bunni next to me at all times, going from the apartment complex straight to school and straight back, now I can go out to places by myself, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t freak out. Because believe me, I do.

“Ar-Are you okay?” The sudden voice made me jump slightly as I turned to look at Tamaki, who was actually looking at me. The little action made my heart flutter.

“I will be.”

“D-Do you want to t-talk about it?” He stuttered out. “I-I know I probably won’t be much help but, I-I can listen?” He finished and those few words made more tears fall down my face. “Oh no! I didn’t mean to make you cry! Oh shit! Ah! Please don’t cry!” When Tamaki got like this, he never stuttered, and the sudden change would always make me giggle. “Oh, you’re laughing at me now! I’m sorry!” He continued rambling before I placed my head on his shoulder which immediately shut him up and I could feel his entire body go stiff.

“My mum is very sick, so I’m not sure I even want to move into dorms. I guess I just don’t want to leave her alone.” I told Tamaki the shortened story and chose to keep my mouth shut after that. The thing I loved about Tamaki the most was that he knew when to press further and when to not, which he didn’t, and I appreciated it greatly.

“D-do you want me to come with you to the s-staff room?” He asked gently, finally relaxing a bit.

“No, I’ll be good, but maybe you could wait out here for me? I shouldn’t be that long.” I told him as I rose to my feet.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He said quietly, making me jumpy.

“Thank you so much, I won’t be that long!” I yelled out to him as I turned and made my way to the staff room, ready to tell Snipe the situation.

[sadhatter]

Immaculate Desire

ONE

DISCLAIMER

TW: Mental Illness', Terminal Illness', Drug Usage, Sexual, Mental and Physical abuse as well as Unhealthy and Toxic Households and Relationships

Chapter Releases: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Tags: @dekushandcanchokeme

English | Japanese

7:28 am

Friday 17th August

Iris’s POV

 A loud, ring of my alarm rung through my ears as I groaned and slowly lifted myself up, now sitting. I slammed my hand on my phone turning the alarm off and picking it up to check the messages I had. Of course, there was none, but just as I was about to put my phone down it rung out with my text tone. I looked to see a message from my best friend and next-door neighbor Bunni.

 MORNING SHAWTY <3

Morning Sunshine <3 Sorry about my father

It’s fine, im just surprised you didn’t hear my mum going at it

Im a deep sleeper, remember?

Tru, well come out for a smoke?

You read my mind

 I put my phone down on the bed and got up, slipping some pants on and grabbing my phone, putting it in my back pocket. I grabbed the packet of cigarettes that sat on my desk and the lighter that laid next to them after grabbing my glasses and started to make my way out of my dark room. As I was walking down the hallway, I pulled a smoke out of the packet and lit it. Walking past the door I heard my name being called out by a croaky and muffled tone, that sounded worse than it normally does.

“Morning Mum, how are you feeling today?” I asked her as I slowly walked over to the women who sat on the single couch with a blanket wrapped around her legs and a navel cannula wrapped gently around her face.

“The same, how was your sleep?” She asked me in her tired, worn down voice.

“The same, is your pain okay today?” I asked her as I walked towards the kitchen and turned the jug on to boil the water.

“A bit worse than yesterday, if I’m being honest with you.” She replied as I turned around to see her fiddling with the T.V remote. “Iris, can yo-”

“Yeah.” I sung out before she could finish the sentence. I walked over to the T.V and hit the back of it, suddenly hearing the news being sounded through my ears, just as the jug finished boiling the water. I walked over to the cabinet and pulled a mug out and a tea bag. “Do you want me to roll you a number before I go? Or I can stop at Tye’s and see if he has any edibles in stock?” I called out to mum as I started to put all the ingredients together before giving it a slight stir. I had finished making her tea and walked over to where my mother sat again and passed her the tea, which she slightly bowed to while taking it.

“Thank you, but yeah, if you could roll me one that would be great, but I don’t know if I’ll have it or not.” She croaked out to me before taking a sip of her tea that I just handed her.

“That’s fine, more for me when I get home.” I said with a slight chuckle before pulling cigarettes out of my back pocket and lighting it up as I walked out of the room.

“You know those things are what got me here now!” She tried to call out, it failed a bit but I still heard it.

“I know, can’t help it though, I was raised by the best chain-smoker after all!” I called back as I finally made it to the front door and opened it to see Bunni half way through a smoke already.

 “How is she today?” She asked me with her American accent and I sighed at her question.

“Not much better than yesterday, she says she’s in a little bit of pain, so I’m gonna roll her one, just so it’s there if she wants it.” I said as I walked to the edge of the balcony and leaned y front half over the railing.

“Well, if she doesn’t have it, can we?” She asked with a slight smile on her face, causing me to crack a smile and roll my eyes.

“You say that like I don’t have a whole stash just for us.” I said with a giggle at the end. We laughed about our terrible lives for a couple minutes, honestly if we didn’t laugh, we would probably break down in tears, then who knows what else would happen. My family moved from Australia to Japan when I was 9, my mother being a Japanese woman and wanting to be closer to home and away from the horrors, they decided to pick up everything and leave. Mum taught me how to speak Japanese, but Nick-- my “father” -- is a drug addict. He came from an abusive family himself, and they didn’t care about the many physical health issues he had, leading him to drugs as a coping mechanism.

They found this apartment complex that was 15 minutes away from high-end schools and work opportunities for both of them. Though the one thing I have never been able to adapt to is Nick abruptly leaving when mum got sick. He shows up back in our lives every now and then, mainly for money, but why did he leave? When she got sick of all times.

Bunni moved here from America with her family before our last year of elementary. The reason why isn’t really clear but they couldn’t really speak Japanese and though they weren’t in this apartment complex we went to the same middle school. That’s how we met, though we didn’t get really close until her parents split up a year later and her mother moved to the apartment next to us with their family growing bigger and bigger by the years, ending up with 7 kids all up, Bunni being the oldest. My mother and her mother got close and she started to teach Bunni’s mum Japanese while I would teach Bunni bits and pieces, just enough so she could get by.

 “We need to get out of this place.” Bunni’s voice snapped me out of my trance and I scoffed.

“No shit, but we have like 6-7 months left of U.A, and I have my mother to look after, but once she’s better, then I can promise you, we will be out of here.” I replied to her. Placing my head on her shoulder as I finished my smoke and pulled my phone out to check the time. “Right, let’s get ready and meet Nejire.”

“Okay, I’ll knock on your window when I’m ready.” Bunni replied while throwing her cigarette over the balcony before placing a light kiss on my cheek and emerging into her apartment. I took a deep breathe before moving back into my apartment. As I was walking back to my room, when I passed the lounge room, I heard my mother call out, I walk in and couldn’t help the sympathetic look that covered my eyes instantly.

“It stopped working again.” She told me and she gestured towards the old, run down T.V that was in definite need of an upgrade. I chuckled to try and hide the sadness in my eyes, and walked over to the T.V, hitting the back of it again, watching it flicker back on into normal quality. “Thank you de-” she started before starting to cough uncontrollably.

I quickly rushed to her and helped her sit up a bit and passed her the bottle of water that sat on the coffee table next to her. After a couple minutes she came good and a huge sigh of relief washed over me.

“I’m going to get ready now, Aiya should be here soon.” I told mum before I watched her smile slowly form and a gentle arm raise to my shoulder.

“I love you Iris, please remember that.” She told me and I could see her loosing hope, behind those strong, caring eyes, I could tell she wanted to give up, and who could blame her. She would sit around the house all day, not doing anything, watching her daughter do all the work for her, while a nurse has to help her go to the toilet.

“I’ll always remember that mum, because you’re my mum and I love you, almost as much as you love me.” I said, trying to make a joke at the end, which was well received. I looked into my mother’s smiling eyes and felt it all hit me at once. I quickly rose to my feet and walked out of the room, as quickly but not so much that it was obvious, I wanted to get out of there.

I closed my door quietly then sunk down on it, into the floor. Bringing my legs to my chest I buried my face into my knees, in hope of finding some comfort in what was happening in this god forsaken time. I needed to be strong for both me and my mum, cause if I wasn’t strong, I could promise you we would both break down into tears. I would rather me, crying by myself in an isolated room where no one could see me then to break down in front of my mother and let her see all the pain I’m feeling, because she has enough pain as it is.

I wiped the tears away from my eyes and got off the floor and looked through my closet to find my uniform, it was going to be a hot today so I didn’t wear the blazer or the vest. I rolled my sleeves up so they sat around my elbows and undid a few buttons with my tie loose around my neck. I then slid my skirt on and did it up, coming about 2 inches below the promised land. I slid on my knee-high; black socks then looked over at the keyboard that sat in the corner of my room. As I thought about pulling it out and playing it, I heard a light tap on my window, which I tapped back, letting Bunni know I’ll be out soon. I grabbed my stuff in my bag and walked out the door making sure I had smokes, my phone, and the necessary text books.

“Okay Mum! I’m heading out!” I called out as I walked into the lounge room again and making my way towards her. I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and went to walk back out of the room before she called out to me again.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” He called out to me as I thought back to what happened this morning.

“No?” It sounded more like a question than an answer as I turned back around to face the frail woman. She tapped her cheek lightly and I chuckled at her response. “Oh right.” I walked back to my mother and leaned down so my cheek was in front of her lips, and she placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.

“I love you sweet pea. Also, where is Aiya?” She asked and I looked around in confusion, because it was a really good question. Where was Aiya?

“I’m here! I’m sorry! Traffic this morning was a nightmare!” I heard a sweet, younger woman’s voice ring through the apartment from the front entrance. As I made my way to the front door, I saw a woman who was a couple years older than me, maybe in her mid-20’s and a casual nursing outfit on. “Bunni’s out there waiting as well.”

“Yeah, I know, also, mum had a bit of a coughing fit this morning so just watch out please.” I said as I was slipping on my red high-tops and tying the laces around my ankles. “Oh, and with the T.V, when it stuffs up, just hit the back of it, should fix itself for a little bit.” I said as I jumped back up from my sitting position on the floor and bowed my head before leaving the apartment.

I open my front door to see Bunni standing there with her gleaming smile, which immediately lifted my spirits. I scanned her uniform and saw that she had the vest on, yet not buttons up, her skirt of course – which was just as short as mine – and no matter how hot or cold she will always wear her black stockings with her plain black high tops. As I scanned her body, it made me think about just how different we actually are. She was a bigger girl with a bit of chub on her, but not a lot, she looks beautiful and has the right amount to extenuate her curves, also standing at 5”4, a reasonable height in my opinion. I was a small, petite girl, who only weighed 44kg or 97lbs and standing at 5”2. Our personalities are polar opposites, her being night and me being day.

Despite these differences, her and I gravitated towards each other. People think were only friends because were neighbors, but believe me when I say if I didn’t want to be her friend, I wouldn’t. But I wouldn’t trade her for the world, she’s the most precious thing that has happened to me and I won’t be losing her anytime soon.

 “Earth to Iris!” Her finger snapped me out of the trance that I got stuck in once again before I apologized. “Girl, you gotta go see someone, I swear you have ADHD or a processing disorder, or something like that.” She said and I knew she meant no harm by it, so I smiled and wrapped my arms around her waist, which she was taken back by but eventually wrapped her arms around me as well. “Is everything okay?”

“Thank you, for everything.” I whispered into her larger frame and I felt her body jerk slightly at the snort that escaped her nose.

“Dude what? Where is this coming from?”

“Don’t worry, let’s go meet Nejire.” I told her and she squinted her eyes at me for a bit before reluctantly going along with my words, knowing that I pull shit like this sometimes. We continued to walk along the path for school, finally coming across the convenience shop that we stopped at to get a drink and meet Nejire before school. We walked in a saw Nejire be her usual cheerful self, talking to anyone she comes in contact with. She turned her head and yelled out to us with a large smile graving her pretty and fair face.

“Ah look who it is, The Twins.” The store manager – Ito Sora -- who was an older Japanese lady came out of the back room after she heard Nejire yelling about us. You might be wondering where the nickname “The Twins” comes from, well, mainly because were always together, I mean always. It’s very rare you will see one of us without the other, and even though we’re opposites were in sync and have about the same strength when it came to quirks.

“Hi Mrs. Ito, how’s your morning so far?” I asked her after I bowed at her entrance and she smiled and replied with a simple, yes, it’s been good.

“Just the usual?” The older woman asked as she looked between the both of us, receiving an excited nod from the both of us. She smiled and turned to go make the iced coffee that Bunni gets and the strawberry milk tea boba for me.

“So, how are my favorite girls doing today?” She asked and me and Bunni looked at each other with knowing looks.

“Could be better,” I started as I turned to have a look around the store.

“Could be worse.” Bunni finished as she followed my gaze, both of our eyes landing on the manga section of the store. We turned to each other with scowls on our faces before sprinting to the section to see if the specific manga volume that we have been trying to get our hands on was there. Our eyes landed on the book at the same time and both of our hands landed on it at the same time.

“Iris! Don’t try me!”

“Let the book go and you will be unharmed.” I said in a much calmer tone then Bunni and she seemed to be taken aback by my sudden change in tone but she still didn’t let it go.

“No! You know I’ve been looking for this volume for ages!” She tried to spit back at me but my deadpanned stare turned into one of disbelief.

“Who recommended this series to you, then let you read all their volumes before going and buying her own.”

“I like the series more.” Her voice started to grow whiney. That tone always irritated me to the core, and she knew that.

“Don’t you dare start that shit.” Soon after those words left my mouth, she put on her stupid puppy dog eyes. “For fuck’s sake, fine!” I yelled finally letting go of the book which cause the bigger girl to have a wide, excited smile on her face, but as my eyes roamed over the other volumes that sat in the stand my eyes landed on a volume, I know Bunni has been looking for, for ages. It’s not even a series I like but I picked it up anyway just to spite her. Her eyesight followed my hand as it went to the book and picked it up, a gasp almost leaving her throat as she saw what I had picked up. I turned to look at her and saw a restrained look on her face that told me everything I needed to know.

“Oh, you want this book as well?” I asked with my sweet voice, knowing it would deceive her. Listen. She is so smart, not academically, cause we both struggle in that department, but she’s street-smart and has a lot of common sense, though she is still the most gullible person I have ever met.

“Yes please.” She said as her hand reached out to grab the book from my hand, but just as the tips of her fingers grazed the cover. I snatched it back without hesitation or remorse.

“Too bad.” I said with a shit eating grin on my face and she whined again.

“C’mon Iris! You don’t even like that series!” She called out, it was the start to her many excuses and attempts at getting the book from me.

“I have a proposal.” I told her and her eyes lit up with excitement and bewilderment as her words suddenly came to a halt.

“Anything.”

“Swap.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” I finished with a completely serious look on my face and in my tone.

“But,”

“No buts, take it or leave it.” I watched her eyes float down to the book that she held in her hands and watched the contemplation glaze her eyes as she was in deep thought. She finally looked up to me and slowly handed me the book and I gladly gave her the book that was in my hand. A feeling of relief washed over my body as the dreaded book left my hands.

“Girls! Your drinks are done!” Mrs. Ito called out to us and we walked over putting the book on the counter and paying for the things that we bought. “Will you guys be back after school?” She asked looking at all three of us and we smiled at her.

“I won’t, Mirio asked me to train with him.” Bunni spoke up and my head quickly jerked towards her from the name that left her lips.

“What? You’re training with Mirio?” I asked, slight sadness and jealously peeking through.

“Oh, is someone jealous?” I heard Nejire spoke as she wrapped her arms around the both of us, being taller than either Bunni or I, standing at 5”5.

“N-No, it’s just we usually train together so it’s just a bit of a shock.” I straight up lied through my teeth, probably breaking them in the process.

“I can ask him if you can come?” Bunni spoke up and I quickly shook my head.

“No, you go ahead, it will be good for you.” I said as I slipped the book into my bag and picked up the drink. “I’ll probably be back Mrs. Ito, but no promises.” I turned to the older woman swiftly bowing and heading out the door, Nejire and Bunni not too far behind me.

“Oh Iris!” I heard Mrs. Ito call out and I turned with a smile on my lips. “How’s your mum?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, but I’ll let you know if there is any update.” I said as I waved at her and walked out the store. I pulled my phone out and saw we had a good twenty minutes before class started and from here it was only a five-minute walk. “Court!”

“Yup!”

“Smoke?”

“Sure.”

[sadhatter]

Immaculate Desire Disclaimer

This is a fic I have been writing in my spare time about two polar opposite girls trying to figure out there way in life and how to react to the different things that are going on around them. This story contains dark imagry with entire storylines based of drug use, mental illness and abuse of different sorts including Sexual and Mental. If you are not comfortable reading this stuff that is okay, please just dont hate or blacklist different tags because you didn’t like what you read.

This book is meant to help people who haven’t gone through these different trauma’s to understand the pains and weights that come with them.

This is based on Season 4 of My hero Academia, starting at the end of Season 3. This is a Mirio x OC and a Tamaki x OC. With this you could easily change the OC names to yours if you wish, what you do with this story is up to you.

all rights reserved to @sadhatter ! please do not repost, steal, copy and paste, or translate my work. do not recommend my work on tiktok. do not read nsfw or dark content unless you are eighteen years or older.

[sadhatter]

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ﾟ。hatter. 21. she/her. pansexual

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all rights reserved to @sadhatter ! please do not repost, steal, copy and paste, or translate my work. do not recommend my work on tiktok. do not read nsfw or dark content unless you are eighteen years or older.

[sadhatter]

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fate: winx saga. miraculous ladybug. how to train your dragon. avatar the last airbender. my hero academia. haikyuu. bungo stray dogs. jujutsu kaisen. death parade. survamp. assassination classroom. tokyo revengers. attack on titan. snow white with the red hair. fairy tail. fruits basket. horimiya. demon slayer. that time i got reincarnated as a slime. miss kobayashi's dragon maid. yona of the dawn and many more!