#i want to be home w them in the 80s away from modern day and the internet and just be making music and living a free lifestyle

[1980ssunflower]

I'm so fucking in love w them I swear to god it makes me lightheaded gdhfsjk

[dumplingsfordays]

modern au - roommate hcs !

ft. Kazuha, Scara, Xiao, Zhongli, Diluc, Albedo

I'm backk~

I haven't wrote in a little bit so I'm sorry 😭

Anyways this is a random idea I had, idk how well my thoughts are gonna translate into words but we'll see ig

Also idk if you need a warning for this but Diluc's has a mention of man titties so... do what you want with that ig

Reader's gender not specified, and this is not proofread!! Apologies for any mistakes, feel free to message me and I'll fix them :)

Image credit!

But as always, thank you for reading <3

++++

kazuha

- omg this man 😭😭 he is (imo) the best roommate you could ever have.

- he'd probably be super nice when you two first meet and stay that way!!

- he wakes up at a fairly good time too, and if he knows that you're sleeping, he'll try to be as quiet as possible.

- he does his share (and often a little more, if he has time) of the chores consistently.

- kazuha even follows a schedule on when to do certain stuff - he writes it down in a calendar in the kitchen

- he does like to cook when he has some free time, and they don't always turn out amazing but the smell will have your mouth watering.

- his room is super neat!! It's very aesthetic and a little minimalistic, but not overwhelmingly so.

- and it's always clean!!!!!

- he mostly hangs around either in his room or the living room on a couch. Sometimes he'll come into your room, but he always knocks!

- he respects your privacy too 😍 this man is a treasure, treat him well

- he doesn't mind hanging out with you!! If you're into makeup, he actually likes to go makeup shopping with you and just chill while you pick out some stuff :)

- everyone thinks you're partners when you guys hang out, but kazuha doesn't seem to mind 🤭

scara (sorry it's a bit short, never rlly written anything abt him before 😭😭)

- he's a little turd but you still like him, and he gets confused because why haven't you moved out yet????

- he probably spends like 80% of his time away from the house (apartment? wherever you guys live basically), but he still manages to do his chores on time

- HIS EYELINER SKILLS. IK THIS IS A LITTLE IRRELEVANT BUT THEYRE SO GOOD OMFG

- anyways, he really likes watching movies super late at night, so when you join him 20 minutes in with popcorn, it's sort of a bonding time for you two

- he doesn't cook, so he orders takeout a lot... and what really surprised you is that after a week or so of living together, he started to order for both of you because "you were whiny that I didn't get you anything"

- (he actually does it bc he's trying to say thanks for putting up with him :))

- he goes to bed super late and wakes up super late. You have to deal with this by not making ANY noise when you do stuff in the morning or he will be very grumpy for like 2 days (you learned this the hard way 😭)

- on days when he's friendlier, he'll bring you stuff like plushies when he gets back. He'll say that Yae or Yoimiya asked him to give these to you, but you doubt that those two gave you twelve stuffed animals in the span of a month.

xiao (another short one 😭 just like his height)

- I mean... He's okay?? He just sits in his room a lot and I headcanon that he's kinda sorta a gamer so

- he doesn't mind doing chores for you if you can't, but he'll do them a little late because he's like that

- this man SIMPS for Chinese food, like I'm not joking. He doesn't know how to make it, but before moving in w you he searched up Chinese restaurants and that's one of the reasons he moved in lmao

- you guys don't really see much of each other a lot... but you always, always go on grocery trips together. Why? Because he seems to consistently forget the shopping list that you wrote down for him at home, on the kitchen counter, and if you go shopping for him, he complains that you didnt get the things he asked for (but he doesn't write you lists 👀)

- he does have his sweet moments too. If you play videogames, he'll play with you if it's multiplayer. If it's not - no worries, you'll both play it, sitting side-by-side.

- if you're not into videogames though, he does like learning stuff, especially from you. He thinks that you're a good teacher, and even if it's you teaching him how to make coffee (because he doesn't know and wants to learn), he'll keep persevering through it just for you.

- oh boy. Room time.

- his room isn't that bad, if you can look past the giant pile of Monster cans in a trashcan below his desk. It's often dark, with the blinds down, and if you're walking down the hallway, there's a 90% chance that you'll see green led lights shining through the gap beneath his door.

- speaking of his door, it's covered in those signs that say stuff like 'warning! no stupid people beyond this point' or 'dont touch me until I've had my morning Monster'. If you couldn't tell yet, he's obsessed with Monster.

- he streams on twitch, and he's pretty popular, so you'll hear screams of disappointment coming from his room quite often.

- but one sight that you'll never forget is when you went to bring him apple slices (did I mention that he likes apples??), you opened the door to him standing in front of his monitor in a maid dress 😭. According to him, this was a dare that his viewers had him do, and that you better not mention this to anyone!!

- he was so red when he was explaining it though 🤭🤭 you, being the kind soul that you are, swore on your heart to keep it a secret :)

zhongli

- omfg you KNOW this man likes having meals with you. That's such a random thought but hear me out.

- when you eat, he eats with you at the table. Even if you made something only for yourself, he'll whip something up for him and eat with you.

- ANYways he likes to save money so much that his room only consists of a mattress on the floor, a coffee table for a desk, a beanbag in the corner, and a bookshelf that is practically overflowing with books. You take pity on him, of course, and buy him another bookshelf, which he now treasures :)

- probably has a lot of plants around the house/apartment, and he takes care of them as if they were his children. There isn't a day when there isn't a bouquet of flowers sitting on the dinner table.

- if you're allergic to pollen, though, he'll make sure to buy plants, not flowers, like China Dolls or aloe vera or cactuses, whichever you like best 🤭

- he LOVES reading!! Whenever you come downstairs, you'll see him reading, and if you're interested, he'll recommend it or books like it. He does wear reading glasses and he looks really hot in them but don't tell him I said that

- he probably takes forty-minute showers, and the shower is chock-full of hair products. 2-in-1 shampoo?? Zhongli's never heard of it. He may be (nearly) broke, but he takes care of his hair.

- tbh I think he likes to bake bread. Idk if COVID is a thing in the modern au, but if it is, then he was probably one of the people that searched up 'how to make banana/sourdough bread' and fell in love with making it...

- I like to think that he has a nice and neat schedule for each day, and his sleep schedule specifically is so freakin amazing. He goes to sleep at around 9-10, and wakes up at 6am sharp 😭

diluc

- he also likes tea before bed (and any other time of day really). He loves the different scents of the tea and it calms him a lot, so be prepared for a ton of afternoon tea parties with him :D

- ok so we know that Diluc is super rich and stuff but let's just pretend that he roomed w you to save money-

- he works out. A lot. Usually in the morning and around 8pm, and he always goes to this super fancy private gym or whatever.

- and he KNOWS that you go 'ooga booga man titties' mode whenever you see his chest so that bastard is almost always shirtless

- "Diluc why are u shirtless??" "It's hot in here" "...it's like 65 degrees. How tf are you hot"

- no but he's nice though, don't get me wrong. He'll help you do stuff around the house that you can't and he always seems to be there to help. Can't reach something? Diluc's there. Can't open something because it's too heavy? Diluc's got you.

- he'll do chores, just not very well. Can't do the dishes manually at ALL, and if you do have a dishwasher (which he buys on the third day if you don't), he will fall to his knees and thank the gods.

- he has a 10-step skincare routine. His skin is flawless and you are a little jealous, but if you really want to use some of his products, he won't mind :)

- he can cook (but not desserts/pastries lmao). He's super good with the grill, if you want grilled meat or fish or veggies or anything, really. But if you don't want it grilled, he's just as happy to make it using another method!!

- super good at board games, he's especially amazing at monopoly. Nobody can beat him, and he's proud of it >:)

- you've never been in his room for some reason, but you expect that it's very modern and monochrome, with hints of red (obvi).

- he usually has kinda red eyes in the morning, though, and when you asked about it he said that he likes going for night drives, but you were a little suspicious

- you stayed awake one night and you could hear him exit, but no car noises 🤔 you still wonder on what's he's doing so late almost every single night...

- also speaking about cars, the neighbors are always shocked that there's a lamborghini parked outside of your residence (house, apt building, what have you) lmao

- they're always like "do you have a rich bf?? Who is he??" and you're like "nah he's just my roommate :D"

albedo

- this man!!! He's so big brain!!!

- he'll definitely help you with studying for literally anything. Computer science? He got you covered. Bio? Sign him up. Hell, even art? He's super good at it so he won't mind teaching you!

- but when I tell you that he consumes a lot of coffee, it's a LOT. Like 4-5 cups a day. You wonder how, and even if, he sleeps.

- he makes really good coffee too! He bought one of those super cool ones and the coffee he makes is legendary. No wonder he drinks it so often!!

- he barely eats simply because he has so much work, and you essentially have to force him to come downstairs. You make him eat lunch and dinner, and occasionally breakfast if he can. He's super grateful for it, because he sometimes doesn't realize his hunger until he sits down at the table and his stomach growls like a bear-

- he loves classical music, especially Debussy, and it's always playing in his room. You started warming up to it, actually, and now whenever you hear Debussy, you think of Albedo.

- speaking of his room, it's... kinda messy, actually. Think paper and pencils and eraser shavings everywhere. He does clean it up like two times a month, but the papers always reappear within a couple days.

- he really likes art, and he'll hang some of his faves around the house/apartment :) it honestly makes the whole space feel cozier

- does his chores VERY last-minute, but he feels bad about it. You always tell him that it's nothing to worry about, that he still does them, but he insists on trying his best to do them earlier, which you appreciate :D

- he actually uses you as an art reference sometimes, only if you're free for an hour though. He doesn't like paying for models to come in and pose so he saves money by asking you... or at least that's what he says 👀

- your main bonding time is when you go in his room (or vice-versa) and just chill. He likes your company more than he'd like to admit, and you sometimes catch him staring at you from across the room when you're laying on his barely-used bed.

++++

note : sorry if some characters are a little ooc 😭😭 I'm not too good at writing Diluc n Scara so... OH ALSO I would've included Ayato too but I feel like hes not really the type of person to room w someone (well bc he would def flaunt his wealth by buying a private mansion or smth)

[carniferous]

GHOST SHMOST TELL ME EVERYTHING (please please please 🤲 looking up at u w my hands outstretched and desperation in my eyes)

ghost shmost is my haunted house fic... inspired by laurie @/itsjaywalkers fic making ghosts (the haunted house fic of all time). it's a "muggle" au in the sense that like the harry potter brand of wizards aren't a thing but Ghosts and Magic are still a thing so. not very muggle lmao. it's not a modern au though it's set in the 80s and james and sirius are in their mid-20s. the plot goes like this:

james can see ghosts! he has always been able to see ghosts for as long as he can remember! at 19 he dropped out of oxford to research ghosts and spirits and such and he makes money as a spirit medium/exorcist-type thing. this is kind of a different james than i usually write.... he's an arrogant public school boy who went to eton and oxford but he also talks to the dead. he's a little odd on account of that. and he's a little lonely! he's like the golden boys of ghosts... the dead adore him and he adores them and he's always having to remind himself to not get Too emotionally attached to ghosts (for one, because they're dead but also because his Job is to help ghosts "pass on" or just stop haunting whatever house he's been hired to exorcise).

SO the story starts (as it always does) with sirius (lmao). sirius ran away from home at the usual age, the circumstances of that are basically the same minus the whole Dark Mark situation AND at the start of the story sirius's mother just recently died. and unexpectedly she left grimmauld place to sirius. sirius wants to sell the house but when he goes to take a look at it Oh My God There's A Ghost!! first of all, sirius doesn't really believe in ghosts but he does believe that james would never lie to him about anything + he's known james since their eton days... long enough to know that james 1) isn't crazy and 2) isn't lying about being able to see ghosts. so it's kind of like he doesn't believe in ghosts for his own personal sanity but he also kind of knows they're Out There.

so sirius goes to james and he's like bro pleaseeee get the ghost out of my house so i can sell it and james is like Of Course Bro Anything For You. and so james goes to grimmauld place and starts investigating the ghost and lo and behold the ghost is None Other than Regulus Black himself!! crazy. who could've expected this. james never really knew regulus that well beyond him being sirius's brother... but he DID go to regulus's funeral. which was years ago. and sirius is just beginning to recover from the grief of losing his brother that he didn't have an amazing relationship with. the circumstances of whose death were weirdly mysterious.... hm. much to think about

on top of that regulus has NO memories of when he was "alive" (ghosts never do so james isn't that surprised by this). so james decides he's not going to tell sirius who the ghost is and he'll just deal with it himself <- unfortunately his idea of dealing with it himself is to fall in love with the ghost. oopsies.

anyway this fic was originally going to have an INSANELY tragic ending but i was like hmmm.. why don't we switch things up here at carniferous inc. why don't we do something a little different than devastating tragedy. that could be fun. so now i can confirm to you that this fic WILL have a happy ending. probably one of the happiest endings i've ever written tbh. i'm not saying how though so do with that what you will

[jwowwsboobs]

what kind of tattoos do they have? what are their dream cars? what were their childhoods like? what were their favorite novels? would u say that jack is doomed by the narrative?

what kind of tattoos do they have? 

gale has a black flag tat on her left shoulder n a bunch of random stick n pokes on her left forearm in the early 80s. after abt '87 she stopped maintaining them n in late '88, early '89 got a desert sleeve on her right and left forearms,  something similar to this. the right arm was day and the left was night. she also has a venom welcome to hell tat she got a few years (87 iirc?) after jack passed away on her right shoulder blade and the artery tattoo i mentioned yesterday (anatomical heart pierced by 5 swords in a pentagram shape w an A carved into it) on her left also in 87

ronnie got flowers on her right thigh in 83/84 and the artery tat at the same time as gale! they went together n had a good cry abt it

jack & max never got any but jack did joke about getting a venom welcome to hell tattoo

what are their dream cars? 

they were all kind of basic LOL gale just wanted a baby blue mustang, but she was more into bikes (lovedddd modding her harley esp in the late 80s n into the modern day).

ronnie bought the bands van ('81 ford ecoline), wanted a '68 pink mustang convertible, pink corvette convertible, (probably a 74 or 72) n a bmw. i think she got the z1 even though it was never released in the us (rich bitch moment.)

jack wanted a pontiac firebird so fucking bad it was embarrassing, ideally it would be black probably a 77?

max was not into really into cars but she liked how firebirds looked the best so i guess that would have been hers. 

what were their childhoods like? 

ronnie and gale's were pretty happy! they got along w their parents n were pretty well off. jack n max were not as fortuante tho<\3 everyone but jack grew up in socal

ronnie grew up rich. like mega rich. her "modest childhood home" it was a huge house w a waitstaff ("it was only jim (butler), tom (valet) n cathy (cook) n the cleaning ladies on tuesdays!" thats still a waitstaff fuck off ronnie) n in southern california. like girl🙄. but anyway yeah. rich girl kind of spoiled (definitely spoiled) youngest of 2, had an older brother who lived in the uk in the late 70s early 80s for school or something. maybe it had to do w the family business which idk what it was LMFAO. he would send ronnie metal albums cuz they were both into nwobhm. mother was a socialite, loved to throw lavish parties. ronnies dad adored her, shes a total daddy's girl. she started playing drums when she was 14 when she found her dad's kit (he was a big beatles fan n loved ringo) in the garage attic. ronnie went to public school but wasnt really the best student tho she tried really hard. she had like 3-7 dogs growing up cuz her parents loved dogs and giving strays a good home for however long they stayed.

gales dad was a single parent, worked as a college professor teaching literature. his specialty was american lit, esp black american lit. he collected classical music and jazz records and read books constantly. he often had his professor friends n students over for dinner, to discuss books or political happenings etc etc. he really encouraged gale to pay attention to politics and read everything and listen to everything and ask questions about everything. she took piano lessons from like 6-16, started playing bass around 13/14. she was a huge bookworm as a kid which her dad like. very much encouraged n fostered. gale went to public school. 

max was the 4th child of 6. her dad was an alcoholic n her mom worked as a waitress. she doesnt talk abt her childhood. when she met ronnie she basically moved in w her n ronnies parents adored her cuz she had that california beach blonde, girl next door look coupled w a total kicked puppy sad eyes n they just loved taking in strays. she started playing guitar around 14/15 after being lent a black sabbath tape by an older sibling. not sure which one

jack was born in chula vista n her parents divorced when she was 4. she lived w her mother in the bay area but never stayed in one place for very long. her mom bought her a guitar when she was nine as a birthday present n jack taught herself from listening to songs on the radio. she was often described as a "troubled child" struggling with aggression, focusing in school, reading, and writing. began seriously playing guitar after hearing motorheads debut. was kicked out of her moms home after dropping out of school, moved in with friends. played in a bunch of various punk n heavy metal bands, eventually relocating to LA with the band she was in at the time, before joining artery in the summer of 81. 

what were their favorite novels? 

gale read too many to have a like. real favorite she would just start listing the ones she thought were good or that u would like. she really loved kurt vonneguts and bell hooks work. maybe sister outsider by audre lorde? i know why the caged bird sings? dhalgren? dune? catcher in the rye? i think dhalgren honestly but idk

ronnie's is definitely lord of the rings. like without question its lotr. fucking nerd. she'll say its vogue magazine tho

max...lolita, ariel or maldoror

jack was like. between being functionally illiterate and having (MAYBE?????????) severe dyslexia. she has a lot of trouble reading (recognizes albums by the cover, bands by the vocalist/guitarist) n struggles with writing (near/illegible handwriting, misspelling, difficulty with grammar/syntax) so. she doesnt have a favorite novel. shed call u a nerd for asking that

would u say that jack is doomed by the narrative?

definitely. there is no possible outcome of artery's story where she could have lived. she n max r both doomed by the narrative but jack was the only one who really actually literally died. max … since she didnt like. physical die its not truely being doomed by the narrative but like. she, as both the frontman of artery and as the person she was in artery around tht community… she died. completely. n hasnt been seen since 1986. so maybe she did actually die! ull never know

[dystopia-fantasy]

Always read the job description -Part 1

Max was a fit, well built man. He had been body building since he was 14 and now In his early 40s he has the body of a god, but is slowly getting to the age when he needs to find another way to make money. He knows he can't take part in his competitions anymore, and needs to take it easy. He got great grades in school and college, proving people wrong that you can't be a nerd in a jock body.

Max had some money saved and was able to keep up on bills for a few months but needed a job to keep his large house, in the rich area of the city. He got a call from a business he applied to a couple of days ago, telling him to go in for an interview tomorrow, and if it goes well he will be sent straight on a trip for the company. He gets his new blue suit ready to be worn the next day.

The morning arrives, it's 5am, and Max wakes. He does his normal morning routine, making breakfast, working out, taking a shower, then gets his suit on ready for his early morning interview. Driving to the office building in the middle of New York, it's at least 50 stories high, and is made of mostly glass, and is one of the newest modern builds in the city.

On arrival a large man in his late 60s wearing a suit greets him, "hello sir, you must be max, Sir Mammon is on his way down to collect you, may I say what an amazing suit you have on today".

Max looks the man up and down, seeing the man's huge belly flowing out from under his dress shirt, showing a massive W shape, "thanks mate, you might want a bigger shirt" then points to his belly.

"sorry if I offended you sir, but all clothing has been chosen by Sir Mammon himself" Mammon is the big boss of the business "if you would like to make a complaint I can print you a form".

Max laughs, "No thanks, I'm gonna sit over there, tell Mammon im there".

"will do sir, have a great day" the man says while max walks away paying no more attention to him.

About 15 minutes later a young handsome slender man walks over. "Max is it?" He says behind Max.

"yes.." max says confused.

"I'm Mammon, nice to meet you" he smiles holding his hand out for a shake.

"oh hello Mammon, is wasn't expecting someone so young, no offence of course" max shaking his hand.

Mammon let's out a little laugh, with a little grin "it's ok max, people don't expect someone like me to own such a remarkable company like this one would you like to follow me, we can go up to my office, this is Mark by the way, he's my Butler". Mark is another large man aged around 50, he has a massive belly stuffed into his suit, hes huffing and puffing, like he ran a marithon, "don't mind him, most of my staff are..."

Max cuts him off "fat?"

They both laugh, "you could say that Max" the elevator arrives and they all walk in, "now max, you did read the whole advertisement correct?".

Max didn't, it's was 48 pages long, who would read it all? He just looked at the wage he would get, it started at $100,000 per month. "Yes, I did".

"that's good, most guys are more keen to keep their body's but I guess if your struggling you'll do anything."

Max now confused just nod's and watches though the glass elevator as they fly up to the top floor.

"where here sir" Mark the butler says peacefully in his British accent.

They walk into the room, and Mammon sits at his desk pouring himself a glass of wisky, and Max one too. Max looks around in aww, the room was covered in art work, with the walls painted in golds and whites and had its own bar. "How do you have all this money?" Max asked.

"a mix of many things, this company, and a few investments paid for this whole building, I have many other ways but we're not here for that." Mammon points at the seat," take a seat max" Max sits the chair is made from leather and is very comfy. "So, max, I've gone through your file, I think you're perfect for the job."

"so, does that mean I have the job?" Max replies confused, expecting to be asked a question.

"well yes, if you agree to the terms"

"terms?" Max still confused.

"well yes, you expect to be paid 10times the amount the normal person for this job without any terms or conditions?"

"well I didn't know.." Max gets cut off.

"Max let me simplify them for you. You sacrifice your body to the company, and in trade you get, $100k X the amount you weigh paid into your account per month, So if you weigh 450lbs, you get $450k a month."

"what the fuck? That's sick, I'm not doing that, I'm leaving" and with that Max got up from the chair and stood face to face with Mammon, with the desk all that is separating them. "Your sick, you fa**ot".

With that Mammon's eyes glow a bright red. "I'm a what?" Max got through back against the chair by an invisible force. "Max you could have just left with your freedom, but now look what you've gotten yourself into".

"Let me go, What the fuck?" Max says while traped against that chair, it chreeking with the force of his muscle.

"I'm a fucking demon max, I'm never going to 'let you go'" he took a second break to mock max, "now, what did you say? Fa**ot, was it?".

"fuck, I didn't mean it" the force pins him down harder, trapping his arms against the leather chair arms, and pushing his legs against the underboard. "Please let me go home, I won't do it again."

"shut up max, the process is already starting".

Max looks down to see his body deflating, his pecs turning from mountain peaks to a flat surface, his giant powerful arms turning weak and light. And then looking up he sees a whole new man infront of him.

"Not as big as I thought I would get, but boy I'm big" he took a break to admire his new giant arms and pecs.

"what the?" Max looks in confusion, "how did you do that? Give me them back".

"what are you gonna do max? I'm an infinitely powerful being and you, your an old man, or at least your going to be."

"I'm only 42, what do you mean, going to be?"

"you see I don't have my infinite life span on earth, so to stay alive and in this fit body, I absorb anything a guy has and I want. In your case, these massive muscles, but then I need to absorb their life force as well, in order to make sure I don't age."

"what do you mean life force?"

"well, you have roughly 50 years, worth of life left, I'll drain about 20 years leaving you in your future crippled body at around age 60, force you to work for the company for another 20 years, then when your 80 drain the rest of your life, which after you get fat won't be much, then you got to hell."

"man your sick, let me go, LET ME GO!".

A bright red light shoots from Peters hand enveloping Max's whole body, and he starts to age, his face wrinkling, skin dropping, eye sight worsening, hearing getting muffled, and mind changing a little. "Max, you ok old man?".

"yes sir" max was confused in his mind, why did he say sir?

"max, you ready for your Cruise? You can have tones of food for the next 6 months."

"Yes sir, I'm ready" max lifts his head, opening his eyes to see a new blurry room from his new old eyes.

"you're gonna need these from now on" Peters eyes glow and a new pair of glasses appear on Max's face he can now see clear.

"thank you... Sir", max blinks seeing Peter infront of him, "what have you, done to me".

"Max, I've turned you into the perfect office worker, old, brainiac, who is soon going to get fat and live the rest of his life, in an office chair for me, don't worry for accomodation you live here now, we have apartments on floor 30 to 40, all workers live here, it's policy, we have also sent a team to your house to, well, blow it up, that way nobody is going to be looking for you, becuase we can plant a body"

"give me... My.... Body back, give me... My.. life back."

"Max we both know that will never happen, now enjoy a life of gluttony, and prepare yourself for hell, that's gonna be worse then anything I can do to you." Peter snaped his fingers and a red glow enveloped max.

Recovering from the glow max sees two men infront of him with a trolly of sorts between them. "Is he awake" one says,

"I don't know" said the other.

"im- awake" max said in a much older raspy voice.

"good we can now start the feeding" the man on the left said, his body as muscled as a god, ripped from head to toe, and we can see everything.

Max rubs his eyes under his glasses and opens them again, "Fucking hell, put some clothes on both of you".

Both men where nude, one a ripped god, another muscled up but with a big gut. "Clothes are banned here mate" the beefy man said in a type of Australia accent, "you cant say much fella, look at that tiny pecker".

The men laughed pointing at Max's shriveled up old cock and low hanging balls, "what the fuck"max tries to move his arm to cover him but his arm doesn't move, he looks down to see him stuck in a chair, with a cut out hole under his ass, and straps tying him down, trapping him. "What... Are you gonna do to me?" Max asked sceared.

The men laughed at him again, "no need to act to sceared, we're here to feed you for the next 6 months".

"but... Sir said..." Max get cut off.

"he said you'd be going on a cruise? Fucking hell are you dumb? He's a demon, you shouldn't trust a demon" The muscled guy says.

"bro let's start the feeding we have 50 other guys to see and I wanna watch football Tonight." The beefy guys says, and in unison both their eyes glowed a bright red, showing they where demons too.

The trolly between them had several items on top, one long tube, which floated in the air for a few moments before shoving itself down maxes nostril and deep into his stomach, his head flipped back trying to wriggle it out, but it was stuck. Another item moved into his frame, a IV bag holder, holding a giant barrel type object made of glass, and two large bags floated of the table again and started to drain into the barrel, and the tube connected itself to it, starting a flow of the liquid into maxes stomach.

"done" the beffy guy said. "Now we'll be back tomorrow to refill your barrel, and clean you up if you make a mess, but youll basically be unconscious for the next 6 months, due to the drugs were feeding you."

"so enjoy your sleep mate, you'll litterally wake up a different man." The two men laughed and walked out, max tried fighting the restraints but in his crippled form could do nothing. The door slammed and locked, and the room fell dark, max screamed begging into the darkness to be let free, and to have his life back, which he had only an hour before, but nothing happened, nobody came. He felt the drugs taking effect, but tried to fight back, but it was useless, his body slumped and loosened. His mind fell blank as he drifted of into his 6 month hibernation.

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Nobody asked for this but I'm gonna do it anyways...

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Fluff Alphabet: Takeru/Aguni Edition

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

Takeru: only reason he let Aguni wear regular clothes and not swimwear is because he saw ARM in that tank top and was like "oh damn okay 😳." So, y'know, that. (And he'll never admit it but he kinda likes how Aguni is a little bit taller than he is....) Also likes that Aguni has a really dry, deadpan sense of humor—he ways finds a way to make Takeru laugh, even when he's not really trying.

Aguni: I think the physical aspect of things wasn't really a make-or-break for him at first—like, yeah, Takeru's a good-looking guy, but that's secondary. He liked how Takeru is such a live-wire, very loud and colorful and seemingly fearless, no matter what kind of trouble they got into. (But also...he likes the hair. That's a thing for him.)

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Takeru: If they end up with one somehow, then, sure. But, like. He's not going out of his was to make it a thing. (But also, he has his cat, Ziggy, who he calls his baby, so...)

Aguni: Would secretly love to be a dad but is too worried he might mess the kid up or something. Is more than happy to be 'unofficial parent' to the neighborhood kids, though. Handing out ice pops to the kids that show up at the shop, keeping an eye out and telling them to get home before dark, maybe even showing one or two of them how to throw a better curveball...you know. Real Hallmark channel shit. (And yes, for those who were wondering: Ziggy the cat loves him and often curls up on his lap while he watches TV)

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

They don't really "cuddle" outside of bed. Just kinda sit next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, no big deal. But in bed, Aguni lies on his back with his arm sorta outstretched while Takeru...well, my man is worm on a string but OFF the string, he just flops all sorts of ways and a lot of them don't look comfortable but he falls asleep in minutes so whatever.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

I don't think they do "dates"—they've got a long-term thing going on, so they often end up on the couch eating takeout and watching movies. I think they'd go to the movie theater sometimes (and talk shit for the entire film lol) and every once in a while grab dinner somewhere nice...but, usually because they have some cool limited-time-only dessert item that Takeru insists they try. (And Aguni pretends to be upset about having to get dressed up and go out, but is actually rather pleased to have a little romance...and get something to satisfy his sweet tooth.)

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

Aguni: Emergency Medical Contact

Takeru: Co-Signer On The Apartment Lease

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

Takeru: About a week after Aguni (drunkenly) confessed his crush. Literally spent a whole week like, "Wow, it's a shame I don't love him back. He's so kind and handsome and smart and funny...too bad, I guess..." until one night he sat up straight in bed and said "Hold up." He then immediately called Aguni and began demanding why Aguni didn't tell him he was in love with him this whole time.

Aguni: They had been friends since they were kids, so it's hard to say when his feelings went from "you're my best friend" to something different. But, once he figured it out, he swore never to mention it because that could complicate their friendship.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

Takeru: Yes and no. He's got a bad case of "grabby hands" and often yanks Aguni to and fro to look at something or whatever. Just zero respect for the man's personal space. But otherwise...I imagine he's not particularly rough or gentle, just kind of normal. EXCEPT when it comes to the emotional stuff—like, the real heavy things. I think he's very gentle with that, not asking too many questions and just sort of taking care of him where he can.

Aguni: Generally gentle—physically, emotionally, whatever. But I do think that he's confrontational, like when there's an issue, he comes straight out and asks Takeru what's going on. Even corners him, sometimes. He seems like a "no bullshit" guy, and since Takeru is "Mr. 99% Bullshit" he's gotta deal with it as best he can.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold hands?

The only time they "hold hands" is when Takeru is grabbing Aguni's wrist to drag him somewhere (or run away lol) and when Aguni is pulling Takeru's hand back to stop him from touching something...

I = Impression first impression/s

I headcanon that they met very young, like grade school age. After school, in the park, where Takeru was chilling in a tree and Aguni walked by and he was like "Hey, there's a spider up here, wanna see?" and Aguni is like "Not really, I don't like bugs..." Now, Takeru, being "weird bug kid extraordinaire" can't believe his strange little ears and hops down from the tree and starts explaining why bugs are so cool and that Aguni is wrong...and Aguni listens as this funky, tiny firecracker just talks his damn ear off. Aguni liked how excited Takeru got about things, and Takeru liked how Aguni actually listened to him. And they were fast friends after that!

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Takeru fucks around all the time...and doesn't often find out, because Aguni tolerates all his antics. (To a certain point, but still.) Every once in a while, Aguni will tell some harmless little lie just to watch Takeru freak out—he told him once that Lady Gaga was leaving the music scene forever, and Takeru screamed so loud the neighbors filed a noise complaint.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

I think they most often do quick pecks—at the breakfast table, when they get home from work. You know. Domestic stuff. But when it's not like that...I think 9/10 times it's Takeru initiating, and Aguni reciprocates by wrapping his arms around him in a big hug (because he likes it but also to keep that skinny little weirdo from wiggling so damn much, he's always moving, he can't just be still—)

L = Love who says I love you first?

Neither! I don't think they really say it at all! Why say something that doesn't need to be said? (At least, that's how they see it...)

M = Memory their favorite moment together

Aguni: It's not really a memory, but...just how they have breakfast together some mornings. Sipping coffee, discussing whatever's going on in the world, the general "togetherness" that comes with it is one of his favorite feelings.

Takeru: The time they spent a full 24 hours in a karaoke booth singing 80's hits and knocking back tequila shots and ordering way too much food.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Takeru: Absolutely buys stuff for Aguni all the time. Mostly random snacks, or little knick-knacks that catch his eye. And also clothes, but...Aguni doesn't always approve.

Aguni: Doesn't buy Takeru stuff BUT leaves vases of flowers he grew on the table for Takeru to find.

O = Orange what color reminds them of their other half

Anything bright and obnoxious reminds Aguni of Takeru—red in particular, which also happens to be Takeru's favorite. And Takeru thinks Aguni has calm and soothing blue-green vibes. Like the ocean, beautiful and serene, but also dark and capable of incredible destruction.

P = Petnames what pet names do they use?

Takeru: All of them. Darling, babe, sweetheart (but he calls everyone those lol). Aguni-specific ones are always over-the-top and ridiculous like "brightest star in all of the heavens..." and he always gets an eye-roll for his efforts.

Aguni: Absolutely does not use pet names. Just says "hey you" or something. Once called Takeru "babe" and Takeru had to stop washing dishes and sit down because he was laughing so hard.

Q = Quaint what is their favorite non-modern thing?

Takeru: I feel like he would collect a ton of vintage stuff—clothes, records, just random little bits and bobs he comes across. But his favorite is definitely his record player—it belonged to his dad, and he keeps it in a place of honor in the hat shop.

Aguni: A set of very old and well-cared-for gardening tools. Takeru got them for him for his birthday, and he legit treasures them.

R = Rainy Day what do they like to do on a rainy day?

Lay on the couch and do literally nothing. Takeru gets the left end, Aguni takes the right, and they binge trash TV shows all day. (And also they make box-mix brownies and eat them straight out of the pan. It's "their thing.")

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Takeru: Aside from all his self-destrictive behaviors (binge-drinking, dangerous situations, etc.) he just really needs a good laugh. And Aguni somehow always manages to make him laugh with an unexpected, deadpan comment. Also, he makes Takeru actually talk through his problems instead of ignoring them...

Aguni: if he's in a bad mood, you just need to let him work through it on his own. He hates being "talked down to" and feels that most attempts at cheering up are cheap, so most people don't attempt. Buf...Takeru is not "most people" and breaks out his most ridiculous jokes to try to get Aguni to crack a smile.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

Other people! You know Takeru is the "XOXO Gossip Girl" of the neighborhood, but Aguni...he's like a little old church lady and ADORES hearing all the latest drama.

U = Unencumbered What helps them relax?

Both of them have the same method of relaxation and it's...bubble baths! Aguni does a basic, skin soothing soak and just hangs out in the warm water with a book or maybe just his thoughts to keep him company. But Takeru? He's got some fancy bath soaps, and he takes in a glass of wine and lights a few candles and does a face mask and it's a whole EVENT.

V - Very thoughts about each other

Takeru: Thinks Aguni needs to loosen up and take more risks...but also just loves the guy to pieces.

Aguni: Kinda wishes Takeru would calm tf down sometimes...but also knows that it's just how the guy is and wouldn't dare change him.

W = Wedding when, how, where do they propose?

They're not really the marrying type! They just have a mutual understanding of commitment and that's that.

(But if they did have a wedding... I think it would be a relatively small affair with all their closest friends and family. Like a dinner party, but somewhere extra nice and with lots of good food and alcohol. Intimate and meaningful, with just enough "extra" to satisfy Takeru.)

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" because they hid out in a karaoke booth (different from the 24-hour event that Takeru cherishes so much) to es ape the Yakuza and Takeru sang it over and over to pass the time.

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

"Breaking" to my "Entering." The "Assault" to my "Battery." (They both hate this sort of thing and try to come up with the worst answers possible lol)

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

They already have the cat, Ziggy, who is their perfect little angel.

[theladyofdeath]

Alone in the Ashes {20}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click >  Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 3.0k

A/N: More fluff? “But, Tara, that’s so out of character for you.” “But, Tara, what ever happened with Tamlin?” “TARA WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING SO WELL” solid questions......

You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth. - Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“Show me!” Feyre called, yelling behind the velvet curtain. Mor was trying on bridesmaid dress after bridesmaid dress, giving Feyre her own personal runway show.

Which she deserved. She was the bride-to-be, after all.

“Alright, okay,” Mor muttered from inside of the dressing room. “This one has a low back and a high neckline. And, I must say, my ass looks fantastic.”

Feyre laughed but that laughter faded once Mor came out, because she was right - she looked stunning. It hugged her body without being too risque and the deep, lavender color suited her perfectly.

“I love that,” Feyre said, eyes wide. “It’s perfect. Even the color. That’s our color. That’s your dress. You’re getting that.”

“Am I?” Mor asked.

“Yes, and if you don’t, I’m kicking you out of the bridal party.”

Mor snorted. “Fine. I accept. Now, I’m making you try on dresses.”

“My sisters should be here,” Feyre said, just as she had every other time Mor had suggested otherwise.

“You don’t have to get one today,” Mor said. “Please? Just try on a few then we can go get lunch.”

“Fine,” Feyre groaned, hopping up from the couch she was sitting on. 

The owner of the boutique came over and helped Feyre into a room before Mor, now changed into her shorts and tank top, went crazy, bringing her a handful of dresses.

“Take your time,” Mor called, closing the curtain behind her. “I’ll be sitting right out here, let me know if you need help.”

Feyre sighed, taking in the line up of dresses before her. At first, she slipped on a ballgown, but the moment she stepped out of the dressing room and looked into the mirror, she wanted to yank it off her body and burn it. Too puffy, too frilly. She felt like she was going to prom - been there, done that. She went through two more that even Mor had cringed at before setting her eyes on a slim fit, beaded gown with an open back and a low, sweetheart neckline. It had thin straps and a long, beautiful lace train. 

Feyre slipped it on.

She stepped out of her dressing room and looked into the mirror.

Mor gasped, eyes lined with tears.

“Feyre,” she breathed.

“I know,” Feyre said, shaking her head. “Damn you, Mor! I was supposed to wait for my sisters!”

They both broke into a fit of laughter as Feyre admired the dress in the mirror. It was perfect. It was flawless. There was nothing about it that Feyre didn’t like.

Rhysand wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of her.

She was barely able to keep her hands off of herself.

It was just over her budget; but, she didn’t really care. She wouldn’t be telling Rhysand, who she scolded just the night before about ordering too many flowers - but, she didn’t really care. She would only ever have one wedding dress.

“How long will it take for this dress to come in if I ordered it today?” Feyre asked. 

The owner went to a little computer where she typed away for a minute before saying, “Six months.”

All the breath left Feyre’s body.

But Mor wasn’t taking that shit.

“There isn’t any way it can get in sooner?” Mor asked. “Can she buy the one she has on and have it fitted? She’s getting married in October and that dress needs to be on her body when the day comes.”

The owner looked back and forth between Mor and Feyre. 

Her lips thinned. “I will see what I can do.”

She went back to work on her computer as Mor snapped an endless string of pictures on her phone of Feyre in her dress, which she promised to send to Elain.

Five minutes later, Elain had sent a reply: G E T  I T  N O W

Amren’s replying text was similar: If she doesn’t get that dress I will break in after hours and steal it for her.

If Elain approved, it was a must.

If Amren was talking about breaking the law, it wasn’t unusual, but it was still a must. 

The owner was still trying to figure out a way to get it in sooner, now speaking to someone on the phone in hushed tones. 

Feyre looked in the mirror, again. It was beautiful. Stunning. She could imagine it, paired with a simple pair of heels and a long, simple veil. She could picture Rhysand’s face as she walked toward him in the dress. He would watch her with wide, teary eyes, and a small smile, full of utter adoration. 

It was the dress.

Half an hour had passed before the owner rejoined them. The elderly woman sighed, as if all of her energy had been sucked away. “I can get it here in two months-”

Feyre heard nothing else because Mor had jumped up, off the couch, and was running to Feyre with her arms wide open. Laughing, Feyre let Mor embrace her, all while picturing her wedding day. 

What a perfect day it would be.

~~~~~

Cassian had gone for a jog along the Sidra, listening to his hype playlist through his earbuds. It was a perfect Sunday afternoon. The sun was bright, high in the sky, not a cloud to be seen. The flowing waters of the Sidra were sparkling beside him. 

Even Bryaxis had a little pep in his step, when usually he was trailing behind Cassian and whining after a mile.

They stopped near a little park where Cassian plopped down in the grass, Bryaxis beside him. After taking a drink from his water bottle, he squirted some into Bryaxis’ mouth, too, when his phone went off.

Nesta’s name popped up on his screen.

All of these movies you’re making me watch from the 80s are weird as fuck.

Cassian smiled at his screen before typing back, Which one are you watching now?

It was no secret that Cassian loved movies, so when Nesta asked for recommendations, he had given her a longass list and a giant stack from his personal collection. She had been living with Elain for about two weeks now, and was loving her sister’s company. Cassian hadn’t seen her much, though. He helped her move in, as he promised he would, but he was aware she needed space for now, and he was okay giving her that.

Didn’t keep them from having little text conversations nearly every day, though. 

The Lost Boys, she sent back, with a little vampire emoji.

What?? Cassian texted. It’s a classic!

Oh, please, she replied. It’s obvious why you’re such a fan.

Bryaxis had climbed onto his owner’s lap and Cassian was scratching his head, between his ears, when he sent, And why is that?

It took her a minute to reply in which Cassian used to stretch out his long, sweaty legs. 

Then the reply came: Bc you’re basically Michael

Cassian cocked his head to the side, even though she wasn’t around to see it. Untrue.

He could imagine her rolling her eyes. Especially when he got her text back. Long hair, motorcycle, thinks he’s hot as shit? Yeah, you’re Michael.

Cassian looked down at Bryaxis. “Nesta’s being mean, Ax.”

Bryaxis’s tail went wild at the mention of her name.

Cassian’s only reply was, I am hot as shit.

Nesta replied with the eye-rolling emoji.

Then, she sent, I’m almost done with the stack you gave me, and as weird as they may be, I wouldn’t mind if you brought me some more?

Before Cassian could reply, Nesta followed the text with, Maybe tomorrow? If you’re not busy after work.

Cassian looked back down to Bryaxis as he grinned. He didn’t know why he was grinning, felt ridiculous at grinning to himself and his dog in the middle of a crowded park, but he couldn’t stop that stupid little grin.

Sure. I’ll be over around 6?

Six gave him enough time to run home, shower, and grab another stack of DVDs she would surely be calling weird as fuck in no time. 

Cassian finished stretching, did thirty sit-ups, and was back on his feet, Bryaxis’s leash in hand when Nesta replied: Perfect.

~~~~~

Elain looked at her phone, where she had set a timer.

It had only been fifteen seconds.

The bathroom was small, but she paced back and forth relentlessly. She had chugged half a gallon of water, Nesta watching her curiously as she did so, before excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

They had been watching some vampire movie from the 80s. Not exactly Elain’s thing. She was glad for any excuse that politely removed her from the room.

Even if said excuse was anxiety ridden. 

Another glance at her phone.

Thirty seconds.

Her pacing continued, her fingers drumming wildly against her thighs.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing, right? I mean...Azriel would be great, of course, but it certainly wasn’t ideal. They had only been dating a few months, only began sleeping with each other the month before.

If it was true, it must have happened that first night, or one of the nights soon after.

It was too soon.

Elain’s anxiety shot through the roof.

She looked at her phone.

Forty-five seconds.

Two minutes felt like a lifetime when everything was on the line.

She was only a week late, but even when she was barely eating, her period had always remained normal - perfectly spaced out, returning like clockwork the third week of every month.

Her eyes met her phone.

One minute down.

One minute to go.

“It’s okay,” she breathed, shaking out her hands, as if that would somehow make the situation better. “It’s alright. Breathe.”

By the Cauldron, what if it was positive?

Would it really be okay?

Azriel would freak out, without a doubt.

He already had Mila. She couldn’t add more onto his plate.

She looked at her phone. 

One minute, twenty seconds.

But he was so good with Mila. He would be an amazing father. So gentle and kind, so loving and passionate. 

But would he want to have kids with Elain?

She imagined he hadn’t even thought about such a thing yet. Elain hadn’t even thought about it, not until she went eight days over her start day without her period.

For the Mother’s sake, they hadn’t even used the word love with one another yet. 

Phone.

One minute, forty-seconds.

Elain couldn’t breathe. She slumped down to the floor, on top of the gray, fluffy rug, and closed her eyes.

In, out.

In, out.

Don’t panic.

Panic doesn’t help.

But she couldn’t help it. Her eyes began to water, the tears trickling down her pale cheeks.

She suddenly had a feeling that everything was about to change. She was a woman. She knew her body. Either it had gone into shock with all the lifestyle changes she had made in the recent weeks, or this was all real. 

Her timer went off, and her eyes shot open. 

She took her phone off the counter and silenced the timer.

Then, with a shaky hand, she pulled the test off the counter. 

Pregnant.

She read it twice, ten times, twenty times, that single word the only word she could think of.

She was pregnant.

Pregnant.

With child.

With Azriel’s child.

A fist pounded on the door, scaring Elain shitless. She swore, quietly, scrambling up from the floor. 

“Hey, it’s Az. Nesta said you came upstairs. I assume you’re in there, since….well, you’re not anywhere else up here. Hope you don’t mind me coming by early. I dropped Mila off with Mor and Feyre to look for a flower girl dress. I was told I’m not allowed to see it before the wedding day, so...”

Elain took a deep breath, hoping her voice remained steady when she said, “Hey! Oh, I’m just...fixing my contacts.”

A pause. “Okay. I’ll go downstairs and wait with Nesta. I’ll catch the end of The Lost Boys.”

“Great,” Elain said, and her voice broke.

Azriel didn’t move from the other side of the door. She could see the shadows from his feet. “You okay? You sound upset.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” she promised him, although she obviously wasn’t. “Just a little emotional today.”

“Alright,” Azriel said, uncertainly. “Can I open the door?”

“I’m naked,” she blurted.

“While putting in contacts?” Azriel said, huffing a laugh. “Not that it’s anything I haven’t seen before.”

The doorknob turned, and Elain cursed herself for not locking the door.

She quickly hid the test stick behind her back as he came in.

He took one look at her red cheeks, her blurry eyes, and frowned. “Hey…”

She was frozen in place as he stepped toward her, as he took her face into his hands and wiped away her tears. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, and Azriel pulled her into his arms.

His body stilled.

He was taller than her by quite a bit, no doubt looking down as she planted her face into his chest.

Down at Elain’s hands, behind her back, gripping the test so hard that her knuckles were white.

Azriel reached around her and took it from her hands. He stepped back, looking down at it.

Pregnant.

He took a step back, studied it as if he wasn’t seeing it correctly. 

His face was unreadable. 

Elain’s hands flew over her mouth as she broke into a sob. 

Azriel’s gaze jerked up, his eyes widened as she cried. “Hey, hey, no..”

He set the test down on the counter and pulled Elain into his arms. He held her tightly against him as she wept. 

“I’m sorry,” she choked out, voice muffled against his shirt. 

“About what?” he whispered. “You don’t have to apologize, El. Okay? Don’t apologize.”

She nodded, and when she looked up at him, his hazel eyes shone. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

He hesitated, his hands still rubbing her back. “I’m not….I’m in shock, I guess. But, I’m not….mad, Elain, I think you think I’m mad.”

She took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. “I’m in shock, too.”

“Okay,” he breathed. “Well, that’s good.”

Elain laughed, softly. “How is that good?”

“Pretty sure shock is normal in these situations,” he said, quietly.

All the tension left Elain’s shoulders. “I’m scared.”

“About what?” he asked, voice low.

“All of it,” she said. “Carrying a child, birthing a child, and everything that comes after that. And you...Azriel…” Her words trailed off, but Azriel didn’t say anything. He watched her and waited, patiently. “You would be an amazing dad, Az, but I don’t want to trap you.”

His brows furrowed as he brushed her newly fallen tears away. “Is that what you think? That I would stay with you because you’re pregnant? Or, that I would even want to leave you in the first place?”

Elain looked down. She shrugged. She wasn’t sure what she thought, wasn’t sure how to sort her thoughts. 

Azriel lifted her chin back up with his fingers. “Do you want to have this baby?”

It was the same question that Elain had stayed up the night before asking herself, over and over again. If it’s positive, do you want to keep it? Elain laid her palms flat against his chest, feeling the hard muscle beneath. Although afraid, she felt completely confident when she answered, “Yes.”

Azriel smiled, tentatively, and nodded. “Then I’m going to be here, okay? You’re not trapping me, Elain. You couldn’t trap me if you tried. I know we’ve been together for a few months, and we’re still in that honeymoon stage, and I won’t pretend that I know what the future holds....But I do know that I love you.” He kissed her forehead. “And I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to do this, and it’s going to be okay, okay?” 

Elain laid her palm against his cheek, brushing away the tear he had that fell. “You love me?”

She knew Azriel, knew he didn’t say things unless they were true. And, after talking with Mor, she knew Azriel had never said that word to another woman. 

Azriel’s eyes softened. “I do. But, you don’t have to-”

“I love you, too,” she breathed, interrupting his modesty. 

And it was true.

Yes, she had loved Graysen, but it was a false love. She loved the idea of Graysen, loved the life they had built, but it wasn’t true, Graysen had proven that in the end.

But with Azriel…

Azriel was truth, kindness, gentleness, passion, genuity, love. He was everything she needed for herself, all wrapped up into one, perfectly imperfect man. 

And she loved that about him.

She loved him.

He smiled down at her, and it was one of those smiles that she had only seen a handful of times from him. His teeth showed, his eyes went bright, his plump lips curved upward. That smile...it was an image that Elain kept in her memory for her darkest of days. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty  @starkovsnesta​   @redisriding​  @photofeesh

@mariamuses​   @tswaney17    @amaranthas-whore​   @awesomelena555

@danika-defendyr​  @rachaels14 @faequeenaelin​  @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn​

@hashtolanashoba  @poisonous00​  @chemicha @samotita​

@mynewdreamwasyou​ @humming-asong​  

@candid-confetti @awkward-avocado-s​  @sensitiveillyrian​

@my-fan-side @queen-of-glass​  @stars-falling​

@ifangirlninja  @sleeping-and-books  @burritowithfeels

@morebooks-pls @kindofawalkingpoem​

@sannelovesreading @empressnesrynfaliq​

@halstudies @sleeping-and-books​ @alwayss-reading​

@amren-courtofdreams  @b00kworm​

@wifeofchrishemsworth​  @booksstorm​

@goldr0ses @blackjacks-donuts​

@humanexile  @over300books​

@booksbooksbooksworld  @starrynightsbooks​

@girl-who-reads-the-books

@mis-lil-red

@shhhimreading03​

@emilyrose111294​

@negativenesta​

@argentumstella​

@itsme-malin

@flora-and-fae​

@feyrethedarklady​

@starryandbooks​

@gingerglides​  @candid-confetti​

@gloriouspaintercreatorbandit​ @iliketoasterstrudels​

@6255igntm​  @moondancer-204​

@littlehoneyybee​  @acourtofbookworms​

@the-regal-warrior​

@awkward-avocado-s​  @nightcourtcinnamonroll​

@aelin-rowan-whitehorn​ @bamchickawowow​

@julemmaes​  @itsme-malin

@regular-nessian-trash​  @made-of-stardust-and-wanderlust

@ugh-avila​  @awkward-avocado-s​

@superspiritfestival  @the-dark-swan​  @girlgotattitude448​  @eversincebeirut​

@midnightrose-reader​  @lord-douglas-the-third​  @thestarguidingyouhome​

@empress-ofbloodshed​  @starkovsnesta​ @nickjgoodsell​

Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 1

Hullo and welcome to the kdrama life @camsthisky​! The following list is not in any particular order, other than the fact that I start with a more rom/com vibe and head toward more romantic/action or action. All the following kdramas are set in the modern day, and part 2 of my recs for you will be either darker kdramas set in present day or historical dramas.

Let the list begin!

1. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 

Do Bong Soon is a v smol woman who has super strength and who wants 1. To create her own video game 2. Get her police officer crush to return her affections. Which like, police officer is kinda cute but he ain’t that special. Bong Soon winds up becoming a bodyguard to Ahn Min Hyuk, the extremely rich, kinda spoiled, ridiculously extra CEO of a gaming company who does not like the police for secret reasons, and sadly does not have a good relationship with his family. (He a lonely boy underneath everything.) Min Hyuk finds out about Bong Soon’s powers, is in TOTAL awe of her, offers to train her in fighting, and literally falls head over heels for her.

The caveat with this show is there is a subplot or two that annoy me, BUT I just use the 10 second skip button and it is totally worth it because the romance is super cute—SUPER CUTE (also I have a list of favorite actors and Park Hyung Sik is def on it—one minute he is an adorkable, blushing bby the next he can be intense and sad)

He cute

2. Her Private Life: 

Hello fake-dating!! Ryan Gold (an adoptee who didn’t live in Korea for a while) is a former artist who stopped painting because he couldn’t deal with his Stendhol (?) syndrome (among other traumas). Deok Mi is the classy art curator of a famous museum who definitely does not have any secrets she wants to keep from the world—well, other than the fact that she is the number one fangirl of kpop idol, Cha Shi-an (who also appreciates art) and has a major crush on him. Ryan becomes director of the art museum and there is a whole thing with getting Shi-an involved in an art show.

Following this and a series of unfortunate events a false rumor starts that Deok Mi and and Shi-an ARE dating. It’s a little complicated to summarize, but basically what you need to know is that Ryan and Deok Mi become a fake couple so there won’t be a scandal for Shi-an or violence done to Deok Mi by rabid fangirls. I enjoy the fake-dating trope a lot, and how it becomes real for both of them! The leads are played by Kim Jae Wook and Park Min Young, who both have incredible range. Lots of soft moments in this one! Good kisses, a scene where the faves bake together, and also Ryan wears a lot of deep v-neck shirts and jackets which is an attack on me personally.

The show also contains a bit of angst, which I LOVE. Hand-holding becomes an important theme 😊

RYAN NO

3. Crash Landing on You: Rich South Korean heiress/fashion designer Se-ri accidentally winds up in a North Korean village, and really REALLY wants to go home. Mostly because there are no scented candles or spa-like bathtubs in the vicinity, but also because she could easily disappear into a NK jail and never return. A North Korean captain named Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and decides not to turn her because, one, he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to turn an innocent person over to what might be her death, and two, turning her over might get his four underlings in trouble for reasons. Said underlings are his family, basically, and they are a deLIGHT. One is an argumentative proud sort who likes to drink and to feel important and who tries to provoke (and gets provoked by) Se-ri at every opportunity, one is a lover of banned South Korean dramas, one is a 17 year old bby who misses his mom, and one is the silent but most loyal follower of the captain. 

Besides all these people, there are two other characters (including a surprisingly wise conman) who become faves and major players in the plot.

There is a great mix of humor, romance, found family, and angst, and I love it very much. A few things don’t go the way I want them to near the end, but a bit of imagination and fanfic can fix anything 

ALSO I FORGOT THE CAPTAIN GETS SUPER SULKY FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT IS HILARIOUS

Show of hands, who thinks they will meet again

4. Are You Human Too: A FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL! TIME!

What do you do when your husband dies and your evil mega-rich father-in-law takes your son away from you and keeps you from seeing him ever? Well, if you are scientist with more genius than positive coping methods, you build yourself a robot son who looks exactly like your real son. Great solution, am I right?

Nam Shin III is the name of my favorite robot son, played by the inestimable Seo Kang Joon. He is the purest bby you will ever meet, being designed so that he never lies and so that he will immediately go to hug anyone who cries. He seems quite a contrast to the bitter human Nam Shin, who hates his gilded prison life, hates his Grandpa, and tries to sneak away from his right hand man, Secretary Ji Young Hoon, his only friend in the world. The girl in the show is Kang So Bong, an ex-UFC fighter who was so badly injured she had to quit. She is at first a bit jaded and mercenary because of her past, but she has a golden heart that just needs to be reminded of its existence.

Not going into details to avoid spoilers, but everything upends when the robot Nam Shin has to take the place of the human Nam Shin. The show is a soft, funny, angsty exploration of what it means to be human, with some good found family throughout. The character development is phenomenal, and the connection between So Bong and Nam Shin III is *chef’s kiss*. I just want to give a shout out to Seo Kang Joon who plays a duel role like you wouldn’t believe, to SKJ’s smile, to the soundtrack, and to the character of Young Hoon, a loyal, steady, and self-sacrificing secretary that we do not deserve  (gosh tho he looks good in blue!)

Look at my robot son getting a long-looked for affirmation! (his lil smile!!!

5. W: Two Worlds: 

This show unique because it  meta as HELL! Oh Yeon Joo is a junior doctor and the daughter of a webtoon artist whose big hit, W, is coming to a close. Much to her surprise, she gets pulled into the world of the comic where she encounters and saves the main character, Kang Chul, a former Olympic shooting champion who was blamed for the murder of his entire family, and whose sole desire is to find the real killer. It’s a good romance between them, and I also love Kang Chul’s relationship with his hyung, which, tho it is not always a main focus, is present and wonderful. Kang Chul himself is both intelligent and adorably bratty, charismatic and angsty, soft and fierce, and he is one of my favorite kdrama characters for sure.

As for the meta, the show does a fantastic job exploring the rules of the comic world, of how one can enter and leave, the importance and power of main characters and supporting characters, and the purpose of an author. There is always another twist coming, and it is just so much fun!

UM SIR PLS POINT THAT ELSEWHERE

6. Healer: 

I watched half this show and never realized that the female lead is played by Park Min Young, same actress as in Her Private Life. Someone had to tell me lol! She’s just so good at playing different people. In this show, she is Chae Young Shin, a reporter for a celebrity tabloid who has big dreams of becoming a famous reporter who investigates stories that actually mean something. She is a bit quirky, very cute, very brave, and probably one of my favorite female leads. She lives with her dad above his coffee/teashop bakery and is friends with all the ex-cons he has defended while doing his other job of lawyering.

Anyway this show is more of a romantic/action drama. To get an idea of the titular Healer, picture what you would get if you took some of Batman and Nightwing’s aesthetics (wearing black, hanging out on rooftops, punching people, flipping around, etc) and put them into a night courier who likes to watch National Geographic and dream about one day going off to an island where he can live all by himself for the rest of his days because oh yeah he is a loner whose only friend is an older woman who sets up his jobs and whom he has never actually met.

There is also an older reporter that Young Shin looks up to, the fun tabloid office where she works, a heck lot of mystery surrounding some tragedy involving a group of reporter best friends/found family back in the 80’s/90’s, and of course both members of the OTP have childhood trauma that has made them who they are today. One of my favorite things that happens in the show is that Healer has to go undercover for a while, Clark Kenting it up in Young Shin’s tabloid office, which overnight becomes a real news agency for reasons.

The action is LOTS of fun, and the romance is really soft and cute, and better still, when there is a misunderstanding or something that gets in their way, they almost immediately talk about it and resolve issues. They TRUST each other and give the benefit of the doubt where many tv couples would break up or get in big fights. I find it (plus the character development) very refreshing.

I couldn’t find a gif of my favorite fight sadly. This will have to do

7. Lawless Lawyer: This has Lee Joon Gi. Watch it.

Just kidding, there are many other reasons to watch the show, but it is true that Lee Joon Gi is one of my favorite actors. The man has phoenix eyes, a jawline that could cut silk, diamonds, you name it, and such a deep well of emotional acting that it literally kills me when his characters rage/weep/love/etc.

Anyway, in this legal thriller/romance/action drama, LJG’s character Bong Sang Pil is a beautiful, very extra ex-gangster/now lawyer who opens his own office, ready to fight villainy and avenge his mom with the law or with his fists, whichever is more useful at the time. He has a right hand man named Manager Tae and recruits a bunch of thugs as his minions, and they all become a weird sort of family as the show goes on.

Ha Jae Yi is a quiet badass lawyer who has no time for sexist idiots and gets her license suspended for smacking one of said fools. She gets recruited to assist Sang Pil, and they find their goals align as both their mothers were destroyed by the villains.

Speaking of the villains? EXCELLENT acting by them all, like they need to go down obviously, but you can’t help but be in awe of a few of them or even get attached to one or two in a weird way. Props to the show for having one of the best female villains I have ever seen

What an icon

Here you get two gifs of him

Sorry I needed to make it a magical three lol

~~

Tune in next time for historical dramas and modern dramas that are a bit darker!

[identybeautynet]

Shygirl Talks ‘BDE’ With Slowthai, Skincare, and Opulent Meals

Shygirl Talks ‘BDE’ With Slowthai, Skincare, and Opulent Meals Courtesy Burberry “Read my lips, I need a big dick boy. Ain’t nobody slanging it right,” the musician Shygirl raps on the opening lines of her new song “BDE,” featuring Slowthai. It’s a bold claim, and one that speaks to the East London native’s life mantra: freedom is everything. “If someone said to you, you can do whatever you want in this room, you’d do something that you wouldn’t usually do,” Shygirl says over Zoom, where she’s speaking from her home in South London. “It’s about being able to run away with some aspects of yourself, less about being something different, but in each of these spaces, you’re allowed a bit more room to breathe.” The artist, who makes bass-heavy, club-ready tracks that straddle electro, pop, and hip-hop, is known for fashion and beauty looks that match her out-there, over-the-top music. Her deepest fantasies and whimsies make both the aesthetic and the music—and fashion brands like Burberry have taken note. (The brand’s creative director Riccardo Tisci cast Shygirl in his latest Burberry Beauty campaign after stumbling across one of her music videos on Instagram.) We caught up with Shygirl a few days before the release of “BDE” to discuss her proclivity toward skincare, her grandmother’s beauty tips, and why eating an opulent meal is the ultimate form of luxury. How did you come to make your latest single “BDE” with Slowthai? I wrote this single ages ago with Karma Kid. We were in the studio and I’d actually been up the night before at some warehouse party. I was definitely really hungover—I think I was probably still drunk when I got to the studio, so I was still kind of in that party mood. The words came really quickly as I was recording, which isn’t always the case. Sometimes I think of a hook and then we flesh it out later, or there’s a funny turn of phrase I’m playing with, and I start like that. But this one was based on a frustrating encounter I’d had with someone. And I was like, I’m just going to get this out in a song. I really wanted to work with a male vocalist and I’ve loved Slowthai’s energy for ages. I’m objectifying men so much in that song, I thought it would be nice to hand the mic over and and be like, Okay, I’ve said this—what do you have to say for yourself? Ty’s the person for that platform, because he doesn’t talk about sex that much on his tracks. So it was nice to have that Shygirl effect. We met up in the studio, hung out, and I was like, okay, the theme is sex—spin it, and be as crass and vulgar as possible because that’s the way I've set the stage. Shygirl wears Burberry Beauty in her video for “BDE.” I love the fantasy of the Tasty video. What was on your mood board for it, specifically when it came to the beauty looks? Growing up, my mom was really into ‘80s music. And I loved that ‘80s look: heavy blush on the face, and how expressive that is, especially when looking at the queer community being represented in music. There’s something about that that which speaks to freedom and playfulness, and there’s a massive synergy with where I’m coming from, which is take me serious in this space, but also not that serious. There’s also something exciting about not being within the confines of my facial features, and pushing those boundaries. That’s why I bleached my eyebrows and change the space that we’re able to use with all the makeup we do. I sent a lot of references over, but I’m really drawn to color palettes; I have phases of different colors that make me feel comfortable and happy. I’ve been lucky to work with some really great makeup artists who take my garbled references and moods that I tell them and make it look sexy. Because there’s something sexy about not staying within the lines. Onto the Beauty Notes questions. When you wake up in the morning, what’s the first thing you do, beauty wise? First thing I do is wash my face, ‘cause I’m probably still wearing mascara from the night before. I use the Garnier Micellar water as a cleanser, and I bought because it’s pink. Then, I put on the Aliver 24K Gold Collagen Eye Mask eye patches. I bought a pack of, like, 100. They make me feel like a modern-day American Psycho. Then I use the Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion, because there’s something watery about their products, they just feel light on your skin. And my skin’s really sensitive, so I don't usually wear much. I have a rose quartz roller that I use after I’ve moisturized, which I find so relaxing. I’ve also got to mention that, when I wash my face, I wash it with warm and then cold water. Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion $30 See On Sephora What does that do? Something about opening up your pores with the warm water and then tightening them with cold water. My grandma told me that when I was younger—my dad’s mum gave me this obsession with clear skin from a young age. We’ve kind of got it naturally and she takes really good care of it, as does my dad. Usually, people pick up beauty tips from their mum, but my mum was a bit more tomboy-ish. What’s a piece of skincare advice that you received from your grandmother that changed your perspective on beauty? My grandmother comes up with a lot of un-PC phrases. One of the un-PC things she used to say was, never trust a man with bad skin. I remember when I’d tell her about boys I fancied and she’d be like, oh no, his skin’s terrible. Also, she uses oils on her body, but not on her face. She’s big on oils. I have naturally curly hair, so I went through such a period of using loads of different greasy hair products, and she told me that all affects your skin. Whenever I FaceTime my nan and my dad, that’s the first thing they ask: are you eating right? I can see on your skin, you’re not getting enough of this or that. What’s the one product that you can’t live without? The Charlotte Tilbury Magic Night Cream. It’s literally the best money I’ve ever spent on a beauty product. It just does what it says, and I don’t feel like I need to use it that religiously, but I need to know that I have it, especially when I’m traveling a lot. And even in lockdown, I’ve had a lot of travel for work. The air dries out my skin, and sometimes I need it before I wake up, just to start the day fresh. Charlotte Tilbury Magic Night Cream $145 See On Sephora What’s your favorite product at this very moment? I only really wear mascara for eye makeup every day, and at the moment I’ve been wearing this really good mascara that Burberry makes. I like a spiky, wider mascara, ‘cause if that’s the only thing I’m wearing, I’m going to make sure it’s visible. I’m not too neat with it—I like a slightly messy mascara look because there are hints there, where you’re telling people who you are. I want to be expressive. Ultimate Lift Mascara $30 Burberry See On Burberry What’s the best makeup or skincare tip you’ve picked up on set? Exfoliating my lips. That’s something I didn’t do enough of; sometimes when I’m on set, we use wipes with a somewhat rougher texture before we put anything on my lips.   What’s your ideal spa day and where? I found this place recently called Beaverbrook in Surrey, just outside of London. In December, I just needed to get out of my house, I needed a spa break, I needed a massage, I needed to be in a hotel, I just needed something. It’s kind of a big deal spa, which I didn’t know, but I got a room after someone else’s cancellation. It was really nice—it’s in the countryside and it was raining the whole weekend, so I felt like I was in Wuthering Heights. I looked out onto the fields watching the rain, and just felt so British. Is going to the spa your favorite form of self-care? I take more care of my mind than my body—what’s sometimes good for the soul isn’t always good for your body. I’m self-indulgent, and the biggest thing that feeds me is doing something spontaneously. The idea that I can just pick up and do something that I want to do is what gratifies me the most. That could be taking the day, canceling a bunch of meetings to remind myself that I’m in control of my life. More times, it’s going out to a restaurant and eating something obscene. You know in Parks and Recreation when they’re like, “Treat yourself”? That’s my life. I really love a beautiful meal, and there’s something so opulent about being waited on in some form and having someone else make your food. We only include products that have been independently selected by W's editorial team. However, we may receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article. beauty tips: Shygirl Talks ‘BDE’ With Slowthai, Skincare, and Opulent Meals, Shygirl Talks ‘BDE’ With Slowthai, Skincare, and Opulent Meals, Shygirl Talks ‘BDE’ With Slowthai, Skincare, and Opulent Meals,  Read the full article

[abigailpoe]

Date Night Alphabet  Micheal x MC

Summary: Okay, so I saw a few NSFW alphabet things floating around, and I wanted to make one with cute date nights that the LI and MC would go on.

Notes: I don’t own any of these characters. This is my first orginal post in about a year, and I had it in my drafts. If you’re tagged or not, it’s the tags that have been there for a long time... Anyways! Please enjoy!

Rating: PG

Tags: @boneandfur  @drivenbyfantasy@laniquelove@tmarie82@angstymarshmallow @ashtonmore@blazerina@beaumonttrash@choicesmyway @dangerous-capri15@syltti78@thechrispowell

A: Anniversary: Congratulations! You and Micheal have been dating for a whole year. In honor of this, Micheal decided to take you out on the town. You got all dressed up, but he took you to the park, making you confused. He made your favorite foods, played your favorite music, and printed your favorite pictures together as polaroids.

B: Birthday Breakfast: Sick day! Micheal knew you had been sick for about a week, and you had also been quarantine with no visitors allowed. On your birthday, your dad lets Micheal bring you some pancakes and hash browns. A few weeks later, Micheal got sick, but he said it was worth it.

C: Cat: Micheal hates cats, but he knew that you loved them. You couldn’t have one at your old house, but now, you were allowed to. Micheal went everywhere looking for what he thought was the perfect cat. On Christmas, he came over and supposed you with one. It has a little pink collar, and there were toys in the box. He said he found the cat when riding his bike one day. He didn’t want to leave it there, so he took care of it for a while before giving it to you. You named it Snow.

D: Dance Class: Your aunt is getting married this weekend! You even get to take Micheal as a date. Your whole family was going to be there, and he was super nervous about it. You asked if he wanted to take a dance class before, and Micheal said yes. The two of you learned some basic steps, but only after Micheal stepped on your feet a few times. At the wedding, Micheal got it off with your family. Micheal kept complimenting you on your bridesmaid dress. But, it wouldn’t be a party without a prank, so Michael and you hacked in the stereo system and played some more modern music.

E: Escape Room: You And Micheal decided to try out the new escape room in town. The room was Romeo and Juliet themed, and in order to escape, you had to reunite the families and save the duo. You and Micheal didn’t finish, but you both decided to get ice cream afterward.

F: Flying: Beating Micheal for flying lessons seemed like fun when you started, but it quickly turned south when both of you realized you had fears of heights right before you were supposed to jump out of a plane and go sky diving. Was it scary? Hell yes. But did you get a goo Go Pro video of Micheal screaming to make it worth it? Also, hell yes. 

G: Girl’s Night / Guy’s Night: Okay, let’s be honest, even though Micheal is your boyfriend and you love him, sometimes the two of you just need some time with your friends. That’s when the groups schedule a girl’s night out with the guys going out on the same night. You started out at the mall, but you all because hungry after the first few stores. The girls decided to head to the 

H: Hacking: Max and others from that group kept messing with you and Micheal while at the diner. They took your food and dumped a milkshake onto Micheal’s head. You decided to get them back at their graduation. Micheal taught you a few basic tricks. In the PowerPoint they played at the end, you added a few bad pictures of Max that Micheal provided you. Zoe caught you, so you ran out of the school and hopped onto Micheal’s bike and drove away.

I: Indoor Camping: You had always lived in a city and never got to go camping, so Micheal was going to take you one weekend. It ended up getting canceled due to rain. You both already had your bags packed. Your dad said you could go camping inside your living room. The two of you started a fire in the fireplace, and you made s’mores.

J: July Forth: On July 4th, you and Micheal went to the park to watch the fireworks. You took your car this Micheal, and you had a picnic before the show. He later out a blanket, and about halfway through the show, you got cold. Micheal gave you his jacket, causing you to fall asleep on his shoulder. Later, you woke up on your couch with Micheal on an air mattress on the floor. You slid down and cuddled up to him the rest of the night.

K: Karaoke: After a long basketball game, Micheal took you to your favorite karaoke spot. The two of you got a corner booth and ordered a lot of food. After you got your food, other people in your group also came to get food. Micheal said he’d only sing if you went, so you did. You got up there and sang a song to Micheal, and he sang a song to you as well.

L: Late Night: It’s the night after getting home from the road trip, and Micheal and you are playing board games, video games, and ate three pizzas all on your own. You watched a few movies and played some poker with each other. Though neither of you really knew how to play, at least Micheal said he didn’t know how to play. The two of you ended up falling asleep in the middle of Endgame with donuts and other various foods all over both of you.

M: Midnight Memories: It’s the afterparty prom night, and that means partying until the sun come up with all of your friends. That means hitting up the casino because you all finally turned 18! After the late night with Micheal, you learned the right way to play poker. You didn’t win much, but hey! $20 is better than nothing.

N: Netflix: Stranger Things is back and better than ever! However, you and Micheal agreed not to watch the new episodes until the weekend when you could hang out with each other. However, you both keep finding each other loading each other’s Netflix accounts at school. And at lunch. Every single day of the week for five days. But when the weekend finally comes, you both put on your 80′s attire and get some New Coke, which you quickly threw away.

O: Open When Letters: Micheal was going to visit family for the whole summer in Montana. There wouldn’t be any internet so the two of you wouldn’t be able to talk. On the day he was leaving, he gave you a box full of open when letters and one of his hoodies. The two of you had to go old school and wrote to each other during the summer. Your favorite open when letter was “Open When You Forget I Love You.” It was addressed to be open on the next to last week of summer, so you saved it. In the letter, he talked about when he fell in love with you. He also filled the envelope with pictures he took of you when you weren’t paying attention. Right after you got done reading it, the doorbell rang, and it was Micheal outside.

P: Prom: Prom is finally here! you both get dressed up and arive in style on Micheal’s motorcycle. Sure, holding your dress up on that thing was hard to do on a motorcycle, but Micheal only drove it about four blocks from your house. The night was amazing with memories to go around, incluing the Midnight Memories made at the after party. 

Q: Quixotic Adventure: After graduation, and within 24 hours, you, Micheal, and the rest of the group are heading on a weeks long vacation to Texas! Who knows what kind of trouble you’re going to get into there? For one, loosing Maria’s binder in the airport, which resulted in a melt down, the rest of the trip went well. Micheal and Caleb even rode a mechanical bull. 

R: Road trip: You woken up with a shake at 4 am. You scream as you find Micheal standing above you, and out of impulse, you slap him. Lucky for you, your dad got it on video. Micheal reveals that he came home early from camp, and he’s taking you to the city about 2 hours away. On the way, you stop and eat greasy diner food while watching a sunrise. You stay in the city for the whole day with Micheal, and you get home around midnight.

S: Ski Trip: Senior year has come, and you finally get to take the school skiing trip that you’ve been waiting for! But on the way there, the group stops, and you get food poising, meaning that when you get to the lodge that you stay in your room for most of the first day. That night, Emma and Maria come back with a surprise! They snuck Micheal into your hotel room with chicken noodle soup and crackers to help you feel better!

T: Theme Park: When driving in the middle of no where with Micheal to find a nice place to picnic, you and Micheal stumble upon an abandoned theme park, so the two of you decide to sneak in. You never realized it, but Micheal was secretly a fantastic photographer. The two of you ate and did several shoots before finding some rats and leaving. 

U: Unique: Surpise! Micheal decided to get peices of paper and write an numbers on them. The first role is for outfits, second is for food, and thrird is the activity. However, he didn’t erally think out how you’re suppoed to wear a winter coat and sweater in a Japanse steakhouse while then going swimming. Even though he didn’t think eveything through 

V: Video: Congratulations! It’s been a year of you and Micheal dating. For your one year, you gave him a box filled with different things from dates you went on. There was a menu from your first date; a dried up rose from the second; some things from prom; and more. Micheal, however, pulled out a CD and put it into the movie player. Confused, you sat down on the couch as he pressed play. The video started with a few days after you met with you skateboarding in the parking lot. Then, the first football game. Football homecoming. Basketball homecoming. When you took down Isa. Prom. It was clips of your life as a homemade movie. Him saving you from getting hurt. His winning throw to you as football. Everything.

W: Winter Wonderland: Sledding. Ice skating. All your favorite things wrapped all up into one day with your amazing boyfriend. However, things go wrong when you loose your bracelet in the middle of the day. Micheal said he would look for it, but you said it was too cold to try. you even suggested that the two of you wait until the snow melted. The next day, you open your house door to find Micheal, blue and shivering, holding your bracelet. When you bring him inside and cover him with blankets and cuddle to warm him, he tells you that he didn’t want you to loose it, so he searched all night for it.

X: XBox: It’s Black Friday! The sales and people are crazy, as they usually are. You decided to go without Micheal to try to see what you could get him for Christmas, and that’s when you see it: a Xbox. You push and shove people out of the way. This day will go down in history as the day you accidentally knocked over a child (don’t worry, you helped them up). That’s when you reach it. And when you go to grab it, someone else grabs the item too. When you look up, there stands Micheal. Welp... you ended up getting him jacket instead.

Y: Yoga: Let’s be real: Micheal has always hated yoga. However, after a back injury from trying to run from Hearst, Micheal agreed to do it since your doctor recommended it. It was... rough to say the least. But, you were happy that he at least tried to help you the best he could, even if he, himself, ended up in the ER after you.

Z: Zoo: You’ve always wanted to volunteer at a zoo that helps injured animals and then releases them back into the wild, unless their injuries are too extensive. Micheal and your dad worked together to allow the three of you to go to the zoo together and help. You had a lot of fun, even though it was sad, helping some bear cubs that lost their mom to a poacher.

[nanigma]

Leon Fanbook Translation: Questionnaire Results

Link to the Takumi Fanbook

Introduction

Profile

Famous Lines

Relationships

Leon&Kamui + Words of Love

Daily Routine + Cooking Showdown

Fashion Check

Dream Change

Interview

Sorry for the wait, but there was just so MUCH text involved in this update. I think I spent about 10 hours total translating this over the past weeks. It had even more text than the Takumi version, since they added some additional comments and reader answers. Just one more update to go after this one and I’ll have finished it. Gonna take a break from translating for a while after I get back to the promised translations I couldn’t do in the meantime.

Part time job is still going and paying decently well. Still, more always helps, so if you’d like to support my work, consider buying me ko-fi or two.  

- All the photos on this post were taken by the lovely @zaziki7

My comments in italics

Questionaire Results

Pages 40-41

Page 40

The part were you and me talk about Prince Leon!

When we commemorated the release of our Prince Leon magazine, we also send out a questionare through the official Nintendo Dream twitter account. For 10 days, from July 13th 2018 to the 23rd, we accepted 560* filled out questionnaires and will now publish the results. We will convey the intense and simply overwhelming love that Leon's fans have for him, their explanations for it, and the heartfelt well-wishes towards him.

*Interesting to note that Takumi had 627 questionnaries filled out.

Questionary Demographic

Gender = Backed overwhelmingly by women!

Graph

Women: 89,5%

Men: 7.3%

Unspecified: 3.2%

Age = Over 80% in their teens and twenties!

Graph:

Twenties: 50.4%

Teens: 28%

Thirties: 16.5%

Unspecified: 2.8

Fourties and older: 2.1%

These are the results. The percentage of Leon's female fans almost reaching 90% is a deviation that surpasses all imagination. Surely the percentage of women is as high as it is, because we were asking for a magazine. Conversely, isn't it sort of unfair that male fans of „Fire Emblem“ do not have a character fanbook appealing to them? At least that's what we think... Gentlemen among fans, raise your voice!

They already get 90% of the figurines. I think they are more than compensated.

Q1. (Of course Leon's most attractive feature is that pretty face of his!)

“What about Leon do you like? Please choose three options.“  

Graph (no actual numbers given, so I'll just approximate)

His face: ~325

His voice: ~200

His heart: ~225

His outfit: ~75

His behaviour: >75

His strength: ~125

His retainers: ~25

Everything: ~250

Q1. Picking out the other answers:

“The way he uses magic!!“

Zola: “I-is this my cue?“

Odin: “Not you. Sit down.“

Other answers: How he feels inferior to his older brothers. It's quite human./ His slight clumsiness/ When he acts like an older brother/ How he is sweet to his brother or sister, even when facing them as enemies/ How he is kind to both his family and subordinates/ His lower eyelashes/ (English comment passing through) Smart, condescending, well written character, and a great unit to boot. His design with the black and purple designs reflect light beautifully/ How he always does his best to use his wits to approach others with nonchalant friendliness and to dodge the scrutiny of his opponents./How he is the kind of man, who, while not always used to flirting and occasionally showing surprise, will take the lead when it comes down to it and spoil his partner./ First answer repeats here for some reason/ How his character, face, magic and entire existence make him the very image of a stud. But I also like his less icy character traits a lot.

Q1. Picking out the other answers:

“His lower eyelashes!!”

Aqua: “Yes... Leon's eyes are quite sharp.”

Zero: ”That’s not what you should be paying attention to...”

Page 41

Q2. (Cute? Cool? In either case, he makes you want to protect him!)

“How would you describe your feelings for Leon? Please choose 3 options.“

Graph

Cool: <400

Cute: <450

Strong: >150

Healing: ~250

Want to snuggle up to him: <150

Hope to interact with him: >50

Beautiful (and other answers): <5

Other answers: Even though he is an excellent take on the old-school, collected hot guy, I always love it when his collar is inside out./ I want to spoil him/ I want to worship him/ I want to pat his head/ I want to support his feelings for Camilla/ I want to see his sleeping face/ I want to watch him from afar/ I think it's very human how he appears to be able to do anything, yet there are many things he cannot do/ etc.

Leon ol’ pal, there is actual support for your darkest secret out there...

Q2. Picking out the other answers:

“I envy your popularity!!“

Marx: “Who? Who could have left this answer....”

Macbeth: “W-Why are you looking at me?”

Q2. Picking out the other answers:

“I want to marry him!“

Elise: “Eh, then I want to marry him too!”

Camilla: “My... stealing isn't nice, alright?”

Am I really supposed to believe Elise is in her teens? Also, what is this family?

Pages 42-43

Page 42

Q3 (Those fleeting moments, where he breaks from his cold-hearted and unfeeling persona show Leon's true self!)

“Tell us which one of Leon's scenes and lines is the best of them all.“

1st Place (at 34.8%): Birthright Chapter 18 – Prince Leon of Nohr: His scene with Kamui after the map is cleared.

“... I lied, sister. I lied about hating you.“

2nd Place (at 20.5%): When doing a critical attack.

“Turn to dust already!“

3rd Place (at 18.2%): Prologue Chapter 1 – Nohrian Brethren: Scene with Kamui

“Eh!? My collar is inside out!? T- Then say so already...“

Other answers: Birthright Chapter 18: “The true blackness will paint over everything... your life, your future, it will all come to nothing...“/ Birthright Chapter 18: “That's quite the thing to say. If you keep looking, it should become obvious soon enough. Come on, I am already... this close after all.“/ A-Support with Odin: “It doesn't matter which world you go to, you'll always continue to be my retainer.“/ A-Support with Elise: “Yeah. Even if we only share half of our blood, even if all we are doing comes to naught.... so long as we accept each other, our bond will not be torn.“

Q4. (With the way it makes his pale skin shine, the Dark Knight outfit is far and away the most popular!)

“Tell us which one of Leon's possible classes (outfits) is your favourite!“

Graph:

Dark Knight: 79.7%

Sorceror: 0.6%

Butler: 0.4%

No percentages from here

Strategist

Dark Flier

Grandmaster

Others

Below graph box

Overwhelming approval for the Dark Knight! Straddling his horse adorned with golden ornaments, the armour carrying the elegance of the night sky, and the garments lightly dancing around his figure proudly represent the official outfit of Prince Leon! It's befitting of a king!

Translating this made me come close to crying from frustration.

Page 43

Q5 (The bond between master and servants are strong! Zero and Odin come at number one and two!)

“Tell us which character is your favourite besides Leon.“

1st Place: Zero (at 111 votes)

2nd Place: Odin (at 61 votes)

3rd Place: Elise (at 57 votes)

4th Place: Marx (at 45 votes)

5th Place: Camilla (at 38 votes)

6th Place: Takumi (at 36 votes)

7th Place: F!Kamui (at 32 votes)

8th Place: M!Kamui (at 30 votes)

9th Place: Foleo (at 21 votes)

While within the story, the bonds between the Nohrian siblings run deep, the popularity of Leon's group in general is superior even to that. But Zero has the most overwhelming support of them all. When adding in his personal history, one can't help but grin at seeing the viscously distant Zero having close banter with Leon. Surprisingly (?) big brother Marx beats out Kamui and gets into 4th place.

Pages 44-45

Page 44

Q6. (Most think he seems the type to join a social sciences type of activity like the student council! On the other hand, many also believe he wouldn't join any club at all.)

“If Leon went to a modern day school, what kind of club do you think he'd join?“

Graph

Student Council: ~70

None: >50

Literature/Literary Club: <45

Chess Club: ~35

Equestrian/Horse-Riding Club: >25

Science Club: >25

Gardening Club: <25

Wind Instrument Club: >20

Book/Reading Club: <20

Astronomy Club: >15

Tennis Club: ~15

Shogi Club: ~15

Chemistry Club: >10

Supernatural/Occult Club: ~10

Fencing Club: ~10

Art Club: 10

Other: History Club/ Basketball Club/ Board Game Club/ Mathematical Research Club/ Soccer Club/ Light Music Club/ Magic Club/ Theater Club/ Debate Club/ Broadcasting Club/ Science&Engineering Club/ Newspaper Club/ System Appliances Club/ Go Club/ Conversational English Club/ Table Tennis Club/ Tomato Appreciation Club/ Handicrafts Club/ Swimming Club/ Biology Club

Most answers we received weren't about any club activities, but the school council!! No matter the circumstances, he still gives off a regal image. On the opposite extreme, many were opting for him to not join a club at all, probably reflecting his attitude of wanting to make his own path without being tied down by other people. The other answers referred to his demonstrated rationality and reasoning with clubs such as the literature and literary clubs, or his desire to raise tomatoes with the gardening club. Within the 'Other' answers, there was certainly a theme centering around the „Debate Club“ (likely because Leon is skilled at fighting with words alone).  

Q7. (So Leon really is the the indoor type? Books were his key item* all along.)

“You are going on a date with Leon! Where do you think you'll go?“

*dating sim reference

Graph

The library: ~70

An art gallery/museum: <50

Some kind of tomato plantation: ~45

A spot from which to gaze at the night sky: ~35

A high-class restaurant: >30

The cinema: ~30

A stylish café: ~25

An aquarium: <25

A planetarium: >20

A theme park: <20

Some Nohrian place: >15

His place: ~15

Others: ~140

Other answers: Watching a play at the theater/ The park/ The cinema (this was already in the graph?)/ A forest/ His home/ My Room (as in the Fates one)/ A flower field/ An antique shop/ Exploring the castle/ A place from which to watch the night sky filled with stars/ We'd have walks from the Sakurahommachi station in Nagoya, where I would drag Leon, who hates getting his feet wet, to the beach. We'd visit the Landmarktower in Yokohama and see the whole city sprawled out below from the viewing platform. Then finally, while riding a ferry's wheel, I'd want to watch as Leon would blush and become embarassed at failing to work up the courage to congratulate me on my birthday by the time we reached the top./ To an orchestra performance/ A botanical garden/ A horse ride/ A curiosity shop for tomes/ A haunted house

Some have clearly put more thought into this than others...

Leon love for tomatoes is carried by a deep knowledge of them! Speaking of, the library, art galleries and museums, are places that do the most to challenge his intellectual mind. Next is something normal people would never have thought of: A tomato plantation. Probably to go gather tomatoes. Enjoying your favourite person's favourite together must be a very fun activity. It makes us imagine Leon with a carefree smile on his face.

Page 45

Q8. (While his image is all over the place, the common feature happens to be the intellectual elite!?)

“If Leon were to enter the modern workforce, what kind of job do you think he would have?“

Graph

Something IT-related (including management): ~60

Scholar/Researcher: ~30

Lawyer: ~25

Company President/ Member of a Company President's family: <25

Company Employee: >20

On a Tomato Plantation: <20

Secretary: ~15

Teacher: <15

Company Manager: ~10

Marx's Confidant: <10

Government Employee: <10

Company director: <10

Librarian: <10

Doctor: <10

Bureaucrat: >5

Others: ~190

Other answers: Accountant/Whatever it is, he'd be wearing a suit/ Strategist/ Flower Shop Owner/ Human Resources/ System Engineer/ Diplomat/ Public Prosecutor/ Model/ Greengrocer/ Actor/ Employee at a pharmaceutical company/ Policeman/ Administrative Scrivener*/ Day Trader/ Playing in an Orchestra/ Bank Employee/ Designer/ Investor/ Translator/ Real Estate Agent/ Publisher/ Bartender/ He'd come from a good family, graduate from a famous university, find employment at a leading company and be a very promising newcomer there./ Idol/ Astronaut/ Free-lance Designer

*From Wikipedia: Administrative Scrivener(行政書士 Gyōsei shoshi)is a legal profession in Japan which files government licenses and permits, drafts documents, and provides legal advice around such interactions.

What overshadows the minority opinions are results strongly influenced by Leon's reputation as a schemer. He, who even during the plot stuck to his own methods and views, would surely acquire expertize the business world of our time and establish himself with his own abilities in the blink of an eye. Futhermore, most people see Leon at the top of some kind of organization, rather than below someone like Marx, when our previous impressions of him saw him as someone's number 2.

Q9. (The impression of him having a preferance for scientific subjects is strong! It's surprising to see English were it is... we assumed it would be German.)  

So it's semi-officially confirmed that Nohrians are meant to speak German?

“If Leon was a teacher at a school, what kind of subject do you think he'd teach?“

Graph

Math: >100

Natural Sciences: >75

Chemistry: ~55

English: >45

Physics: ~45

Science: >25

Japanese ('Native Language'): ~25

History: <25

Biology: ~20

Social Studies: <20

History/World History: >15

Others: <30

Other answers: Economics/ Ethics/ Philosophy/ Civics/ Music/ Art/ Geography/ Magic

The impression that Leon is the science type was certainly shared by many, so as a result Math and the Sciences all stand at the top. His Strategist class (That is a tactician. Many have pointed out that in our age it would propably translate to being an expert speculator) also left quite the impact on these results. Although it's possible to say his love for books within the story has certainly been noticed, even when considering at answers for subjects like socials sciences, Japanese and English, the overwhelming majority still leans towards scientific subjects. While strict his methods would also be precise, so there can be no doubt he'd make an excellent teacher.

Pages 46-47

Page 46

Q10. (This is a bit biased, but it's the cool Leon we are talking about, so we want to hear his whispers full of sarcasm.)

“Tell us the one line you would want to hear from Leon.“

1st Place: “You really have the worst luck.“

2nd Place: “Turn to dust already!“

3rd Place: “I love you“*

*It shows both „Aishiteru“ and „Daisuki“ here, both of which are commonly translated as „I love you“. However, Aishiteru is a lot stronger in meaning than Daisuki. You wouldn't say that in everyday life even to your spouse of 10 years. It's inappropriate for all but the most dramatic situations. Like 'someone is dying' dramatic. This has been a language PSA.

Other answers: “How foolish“/ “My collar isn't inside out, right?“/ “My collar is inside out“/ “... Good grief, you really can't be trusted without me around.“/ “Jeez... looks like I have no choice. I'll protect you.“/ !You are pretty lucky.“/ “Eh... Sister you are sca-... Too close! You are too close!“/ “Do you want to eat tomatoes with me? Sister?“/ “I love you“/ “Are you stupid“/ “Despicable fool.“/ “Death shall be your redemption.“/“Look only at me, think only about me.“/ “I love you.“/ “Can I hug you?“/ Upon telling him his collar is inside out: “Ugh, say so earlier!“/ “I'll destroy you with black arts.“/ “Jeez, I'm no match for big brother.“/ “Pull yourself together, sister.“/ “Feel free to become Foleo's wife“/ “It's a lie that I hate you.“/ “That was well done.“/ “Welcome home.“/ “I want to eat your miso soup.“ *chokes*/ “Thank you for cleaning everyday“ (Maid setting)/ “How clumsy.“/ “You are always hard at work. I expect much from your services.“/ “Aren't these clothes inside out? Eh? That's how they are designed? Uhh...“/ “My collar is inside out!? … Tell me that sooner!“/ “Huh...?“/ “Traitors are a disgrace to the Kingdom of Nohr. Death shall be your redemption.“/ (In English) “I love you so much, please love yourself.“/ “You really can't do anything without me.“/ “Do you also want a tomato?“ (as in eating one)/ “Let's eat tomatoes together.“/ “I love it when you turn redder than a tomato.“/ “Don't say I have a woman's face.... I'd rather have you say that I'm cool instead of cute.“/ “Isn't your coat inside out as well? … Hehe, I'm kidding.“

Everyone's love is bursting from these answers. We can fully understand both the group that wants to be disparaged and the group that wants to be treated gently. Seeing just how many fans aren't satisfied with just a tsundere, but desire a cheeky little brother who verbally abuses them, we get the feeling we have found Leon's true appeal.

Kinkshame 100% appropriate.

Page 47

Takumi VS. Leon!!

Just like in this book, we also made a questionary to celebrate the release of the „Prince Takumi of Hoshido“ fanbook. Both of the questionaries included 5 questions pitting Leon and Takumi against each other. Although it appeared mostly like a popularity contest, we also gathered many responses and explanations that were overflowing with love. Although we have obviously published these answers in the Takumi fanbook as well, we will be publishing the comments that came with choosing Leon only in this magazine.

Q11. (Their popularity is almost exactly the same! Those who answered with something else mostly commented about how they „wanted to watch team X from afar.“)

“If you had to choose a side between them, which one would you pick?“

Graph

Leon: 45.1%

Takumi: 43.9%

Others: 11.0%

Q12. (Although they share many of the same habits and outlooks, it seems Takumi came out on top on this one.)

“Who do you think makes for the better father?“

Leon: 48.8%

Takumi: 51.2%

Reasons for choosing Leon: He praises Foleo from the dephts of his heart. He is able to truly accept him./ He hasn't known love from either of his parents, so he seems to put great effort into raising his child/ He seems very good at giving out praise!/ As a strategist he seems like he's be great at planning out child-rearing and lifeplans./ Because he seems to have an understanding of his child as a human being/ After apologizing to his son for rejecting him without even listening to his side, he is able to come to a mutual understanding with him/ Because he seems great at applying the carrot-and-stick method/ Because he is someone who holds his family dear. Together with his child he is able to learn from both success and failure and grow as a person./ Since he knows what he wanted for his own childhood/ He seems great at calming people down/ He seems the type to help his kids with their studies

Q13. (Just like with Question 12, Leon comes up short in the results. Could it be that he is a bit of a complex father figure?)

Could it??

“Whose son/daughter would you want to be?“

*I orginally translated this question wrong in the Takumi fanbook. The additional ansers here gave it context. I’ll correct it there as soon as I get around to it.

Leon: 43.6%

Takumi: 56.4%

Reasons for choosing Leon: While he is strict, he seems like he'd take care when teaching magic arts./ Although I also want to be Foleo's sibling, mostly I just want to be praised by Leon./ If I conveyed my love for him all sweet, I am sure he'd be grateful./ I'd have a beautiful daddy/ Because I could support Foleo no matter what his dreams were/ He seems very cold, but I think his love runs deep/ Because he seems the type to passionately devote himself to helping me study/ Human nature/ I want him to praise me by saying „That's my child!“/ He seems like he'd be a good hugger when he is in the mood to spoil/ He'd probably be a doting father/ Although he seems like he'd be a very careful father, I want to be there to see him be careless at times/ I want to see how his usually calm presentation as a father gets disrupted by his subordinates/ Because Team Leon has Zero in it/ Although he'd deny it at first, someday he'd become a father who understands his love for his child./ Because I want to have a knowledgable father/ Although cruel, he is nice to his friends and family/ It'd be fun being around Zero and Odin from a young age.

Q.14 (Their popularity is the same here, leading them to share perfectly identical results! There were several heated comments explaning the decision!

“If you could have one of them as your own child, which one would you choose?”

Graph:

Leon: 50%

Takumi: 50%

Reasons for choosing Leon: Although he'd be a bit careless, I can see him becoming a son worth boasting about./ I want to coddle him/ He'd be an obedient child growing up. Also, since he's grow up to be very beautiful I would want to dress him up a lot./ He would probably need to be helped out a lot, which is just too cute!/ Because I want to spoil Leon!!/ Because I want a well-mannered child/ I want to watch over him with a smile whenever he is clumsily rushing through life/ Because being both smart and friendly is very cute!/ Because I want to defeat Leon's unbelievable loneliness with praise!/ I want Leon to have more confidence in himself/ Until I die, I want to continue seeing Leon as an irreplacable presence in my life, more valuable than anyone else./ I hope to decrease Leon's inferiority-complex even a little/ Since he is starved for motherly-love, I want to be the one to show it to him/ Because I want to feed him lots of delicious tomato dishes/ So we can read lots of books together/ He seems to be the obedient, quiet type/ Since Leon's relationship with his mother can't be called good, I want to raise him lovingly this time around./ He|d be a smart, hard-working son to boast about/ Because I want to have him enter a boy's choir group/ He is just so cute!

Anyone else get the feeling some of these people would be better served with a doll than a child?

Q.15 (An indoor type like Leon can't hope to compete in this with an outdoor type like Takumi...)

“If you were stranded together on a deserted island, who do you think you could rely on most?“

Graph

Leon: 39.1%

Takumi: 60.9%

Reasons for choosing Leon: I bet he could do something with Brunhilde (such as harvesting fruit)/ I think Leon would be better at staying calm and make the right decisions during such circumstances.  Then he'd use magic to light a fire, dig a waterway, cut down trees and gather materials to then use them to build a house/ I think he'd be able to stay calm about it/ Utilizing his vast knowledge, he'd likely be able to provide safe water and food./ Because he can grow apples/ Either of his retainers would give it their all/ Unlikely to panic, he'd be a calm guide/ He can make fire with magic/ As he is called 'Gravitymaster', he can manipulate the earth as much as he likes and provide a lifestyle that way./ Having magic that can manipulate gravity seems useful/ No matter what happens, I am sure he'd be able to use his knowledge to get by somehow. Plus, I am sure big siblings Camilla and Marx would rush in to the rescue.

So what do you think of the results of these 15 questions? We truly thank everyone who gave their answers within such a limited time. Although we think that there were a lot of unexpected questions relating to our modern way of life, but do you not agree that in this way we were able to more clearly solidify our image of Leon? If all of you continue supporting and showing your love for Leon... we can only call that the correct result.

-------------

Next update will finally be the last. It may take a bit to get out, but it should happens faster than this. I just realized I’ve spent over half a year on this project...I want to sleep 100 years..  

[chiseler]

Larry Cohen Isn’t Alive

Writer, producer and director Larry Cohen, who died on March 24th at age 77, rightfully earned his spot among the Pantheon of low-budget independent American filmmakers.

Like so many great satirists before him, Cohen had a knack for using a good story, off-beat characters, misdirection, humor, and monsters to disguise some pointed commentary about the most sacred of our sacred cows: childbirth, religion, cops, race, the military, AIDS, health care, and consumerism. And he always did it in a hugely entertaining way, squeezing the very most out of tiny budgets, small, fleet-footed crews, and simple guerilla tactics.

The artist responsible for Q: The Winged Serpent, God Told Me To, and the It’s Alive! films was a maverick, an independent’s independent, who wasn’t afraid to put a wild story on the screen and populate it with oddball characters (that Michael Moriarty would become his standard lead in four films in the ‘80s says something). If Cohen owed a lot to Sam Fuller and Roger Corman, then most indie directors who’ve come along since owe a lot to him, and the evidence is right there in their films.

Even when he was making low-budget monster pictures, Cohen’s films were always character-driven, so when it came to casting even the smallest part he was looking for people with interesting voices, faces, and personalities. He populated his films, in short, with the modern equivalent of Forties character actors. It’s no surprise that he would so often choose to work with like-minded maverick young actors like Moriarty, David Carradine, Karen Black, Sandy Dennis, Candy Clark, even Andy Kaufman. At the same time, though, Cohen also went back to those old films, hiring great character actors like Sam Levine, Broderick Crawford, and Sylvia Sidney.  With casts like that together on the screen (many of them there simply because they wanted to work with Cohen) it’s sometimes easy to forget you’re watching a horror movie.

It seems Cohen was born with a little too much energy. Years before getting his degree in film from the City College of New York, he was already selling scripts to television. In the short years following his graduation in ‘63, he was creating shows that would go on to become classics, like Branded and The invaders. Hearing it now, he almost sounds like the kind of guy you’d like to punch.

After ten prolific years as a television writer, Cohen finally made the expected jump into film directing. But Cohen didn’t go to Hollywood to do this, and lord knows he didn’t aim for the mainstream. Although considered a blaxploitation picture today for some reason, Cohen’s directorial debut, 1972’s Bone, begins like a standard home invasion film a la The Desperate Hours or Five Minutes to Live, as would-be burglar Yaphet Kotto  takes a wealthy white man and his wife hostage in their palatial home. When he sends the husband out to get money, though, the crime film becomes a social satire about both race relations and the generation gap. The wife begins to fall for her kidnapper, and the husband starts falling for a young hippie chick he meets on the way to the bank. In later films, Cohen would mix and match genres in a way that hadn’t been seen since the W. Lee Wilder wierdies of the Fifties.

His next two films were both fairly straightforward blaxploitation numbers, and both Black Caesar and Hell Up in Harlem would become  genre standbys.

It was in 1974 that what is considered Cohen’s golden era would begin. Between ‘74 and the early ‘90s, Cohen was writing and directing the films he wanted to make. They were films that were completely his own, more than a little odd at times, and utterly memorable. For a career that lasted over half a century, having a Golden Era that ran nearly twenty years ain’t too shabby.

Switching from blaxploitation to horror, Cohen made It’s Alive! starring the great John P. Ryan. On the surface it’s a horror film about a killer baby. It’s also a conspiracy film about some nefarious shenanigans at a large pharmaceutical company, and a social commentary about the power of the press to destroy innocent lives. At it’s heart, though, it takes The Bad Seed a step further in exploring our deep fear of children and the screaming bloody horror of that most beautiful of miracles, childbirth.

Using the power of suggestion and some fantastic performances (many of the actors here would become members of Cohen’s stock troupe), coupled with some solid direction, clever cinematography, Rick Baker’s special effects, a Bernard Herrmann score and one of the most effective trailers of the Seventies, this low budget killer baby film caught a lot of people off guard. It was smarter and slicker than anyone would’ve expected given the budget, and was a big hit for Cohen.

After that success he came back two years later with a film that was even stranger, more complex, and much harder to categorize. Trying not to give too much away here for those who haven’t seen it yet, God Told Me To stars Tony Lo Bianco as a New York cop who’s never been sick, feels he has some strange powers, and whose early biography remains a little up in the air. As the film opens, he’s  investigating a series of seemingly inexplicable and unrelated rampage killings. A soft spoken gay man climbs atop a building with a high powered rifle and begins shooting. A cop (Andy Kaufman in his big screen debut) shoots up the st. Patrick’s Day parade. A man slaughters his family for no apparent reason. The only explanation any of them can give is that, yes, god told them to. Well, his investigation leads down some strange channels, including stories of  an alien abduction, a secret cabal of wealthy  executives, and reports of a glowing figure who had contact with all the killers and who may or may not be god incarnate. In short it’s a film that asks the eternal question, “What if Jesus was a Venusian?” It may also be the best film Cohen ever made.

Although the film looks great (and brings together a remarkable cast), it represents a perfect example of the guerilla filmmaking Cohen would come to be known for. All the location shots, from the parade to the subway to the shooting of half a dozen people outside Bloomingdale’s were stolen. Cohen saw where he wanted to shoot, set up his crew, and shot. If he were to try doing that today there would likely be casualties, but because he did it then he captured a portrait of a city long gone.

On the downside, in his excitement  to grab shots of actual events as they were happening, one sequence finds Lo Bianco racing from the st. Patrick’s day parade in March and ending up some 70 blocks to the south  at the San Gennaro festival on the Lower East Side in September. It was a hell of a run.

The film was picked up by Corman’s distribution company, New World. Before releasing it, they decided that title of his was too long and too complicated, so needed to be changed. They decided to call it The Demon, and changed the font on the poster to match the font used recently on the posters for the incredibly popular The Omen. It didn’t seem to help. Whether it was the title or audiences were merely baffled by the film itself it’s hard to say, but it was a definite step down from the success of It’s Alive. Still, in subsequent years it has become one of the most popular of Cohen’s films, and in terms of influence, well, all you need to do is watch the last few seasons of the X Files to see for yourself if anyone was paying attention.

Following God Told Me To, Cohen took a radical turn in more ways than one. After making three blaxploitation films and two sci-fi horror movies, he took the next logical step down the genre trail by making, yes, a J. Edgar Hoover biopic.

A clear though uncredited influence on the 2011 Leonardo DiCaprio Hoover picture, 1977’s The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover makes for an intriguing double bill with another AIP film from around roughly the same time, John Milius’ Dillinger. It stars screen legend Broderick Crawford in a brilliant turn as the enigmatic and all-powerful head of the FBI, and co-stars a slew of famed character actors, from Lloyd Nolan and June Havoc to Howard DaSilva and Rip Torn.

Couching the story of Hoover’s life within the frantic scramble across Washington to gain access to his titular secret files after his death, Cohen does something I don’t think anyone was expecting. In spite of Hoover’s reputation as a neurotic, paranoid, cross-dressing monster, Cohen treats him fairly, even sympathetically at times. There’s no real secret about his sexuality here, but it’s never made cartoonish. It’s a portrait of a deeply flawed man and a publicity whore, yes, but one who was trying to do right. Oddly enough the historical figures who get slapped around more than anyone here are the Kennedy brothers, who come off like a couple of smug rich, asshole college boys. Martin Luther King doesn’t get off too easy, either.

It’s an odd man out in Cohen’s filmography, but what the Hoover film proved without a doubt is that he was a director who knew pacing, who knew editing, and who could, even without monsters, turn material like this into a gripping story.

Good as it was, The Private Files wasn’t a big hit either, so Cohen returned to killer babies  in ‘78 with It Lives Again. Not interested in simply rehashing the same material, Cohen expanded the original story, broadening the idea of a conspiracy (conspiracies would play a larger and larger role in Cohen’s films), and multiplying the number of killer babies afoot.

As more and more mutant babies are born throughout America, a renegade group of scientists and parents (including John P. Ryan and expecting father Frederic Forrest) criss-crosses the country trying to save the mutants before the government can terminate them with extreme prejudice. The hope is to be able to raise the mutants in a reasonably loving environment, rehabilitating them and making them contributing members of society. Let’s just say their success is limited.

The later ‘70s and early ‘80s were kind of rough for Cohen. His teen horror comedy Full Moon High bombed, and a made-for-TV mystery was ignored. He planned to resurrect Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer character in a film version of I, The Jury starring Armand Assante, but after a major studio picked up the project, they promptly fired Cohen.

Knowing he had to get right back on his feet, Cohen had a new independent film in production within a week. He started grabbing some location shots around New York before he had a cast, and started filming before he had any backing. Still, he was able to wrangle together another great (in B film terms) cast, and he had a fantastic story to tell, even if it owed a bit to 1948’s The Flying Serpent. He had some more wonderful characters, he had a monster, and once again all of New York was his playground. Samuel Z. Arkoff, who’d just sold AIP, fronted him a little cash and they were off.

Cohen’s mixing and matching of genres was never more evident than it was in ‘82’s Q The Winged Serpent. It’s a bungled jewel heist/cult murder/police procedural/giant monster picture with Michael Moriarty as an ex-con and failed jazz pianist who’s forced to participate in a heist that goes very, very wrong. He’s a neurotic to begin with, and this doesn’t help. David Carradine, meanwhile (who filmed his first scene before he’d had a chance to read the script or find out who his character was), is a detective investigating a series of murders in which the victims have all been skinned alive. And then there’s that pesky Aztec god who keeps flying around New York plucking people off rooftops and construction sites.

They all eventually do come together inside the cone atop the Chrysler Building (it was actually filmed up there too, even though Cohen and his crew didn’t exactly have permission). Before all these storylines and genres come together, Cohen has us so wrapped up in these individual character’s )and the countless little stories and side characters we encounter along the way) that the monster barely matters, save for providing some of the best aerial shots ever taken of NYC.

It’s a film packed with great small bits, set pieces, and locations. And Moriarty, crazy and pathetic and fucked up as he is, is a gem. In one of the best (and mostly ad libbed) scenes in the film, he attempts to negotiate a deal with city officials and the cops. He knows where the creature’s nest can be found, and wants money and amnesty in exchange for the information. It’s a real tour-de-force of sniveling bravado and desperation.

Cohen had more stories to tell about the making of Q than any of his other films (and he was a man with a lot of stories). The final joke of it all being that Q opened the same day as I, the Jury and made four times as much money.

It occurs to me that any young would-be indie filmmaker would be better served by watching the film and listening to his commentary than anything they’d learn after 3 years of NYU film school. He knew how to work fast and work cheap, yet still come away with a film whose production values matched anything being produced in Hollywood.

Cohen was back on a roll after Q, and even when he wasn’t working on a film himself he was selling  scripts that had that unmistakable Larry Cohen feel to them. The William Lustig-directed Maniac Cop and Uncle Sam come to mind as prime examples, though Abel Ferrara dropped the ball, and dropped it hard, on Cohen’s reboot of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It’s a film I keep trying to like, but just can’t. Cohen’s understanding of character is something Ferrara’s never been able to grasp. It had so much going for it, it should’ve been so good, but Christ it’s just a tedious fucking mess. Okay, I’m starting to ramble.

After making a few straightforward thrillers, Cohen returned to horror and social satire in 1985’s The Stuff. There had been elements of social satire and commentary in his previous films, but usually so well disguised it was easy to miss. Michael Moriarty’s gift for the ad lib and his ability to play crazy and manic so brilliantly allowed Cohen, in their second film together, to slap the satire right there on the surface, plain as day.

When a thick white goo coms bubbling out of the ground at a mining operation in Georgia, one of the miners unwittingly discovers it’s not only delicious—it’s downright irresistible. Before you know it, “The Stuff,” as it’s marketed, has become the most popular dessert item in the country, helped along by a celebrity-laden ad campaign (though many of the celebrities may no longer be recognizable to most audiences) and the small fact that it’s five times as addictive as crack. Yes, it’s mighty good right up to the point when it makes you explode. But no one talks about that.

Moriarty plays an ex-FBI man turned industrial spy who’s been hired by a now-struggling ice cream company to find out what’s in The Stuff. What Begins as a simple bit of industrial espionage quickly becomes much more than that when people start dying, small towns start vanishing, an ex-FDA employee (Danny Aiello in a smart and funny cameo) is killed by his stuff-addicted Doberman, and Moriarty uncovers a sinister, far-reaching conspiracy.

Along the way he’s assisted by Garrett Morris as a Famous Amos clone who’s cookie company was stolen from him, a young boy who realizes there’s something evil going on with The stuff, and  Paul Sorvino as an insane and paranoid militia leader/radio show host who’s more than willing to spread the word and lead a commando raid on the stuff factory.

There are nods throughout the film to everything from Dr. Strangelove to White Heat, but the one film that kept coming to mind was Halloween III: Season of the Witch from three years earlier. Both, after all, are horror conspiracy films concerning the potentially diabolical threat posed by marketing and consumerism. The ironic thing there is that when Halloween III came out in ‘82, I assumed given the way the story was structured that it had to be a Cohen film, or at least based on a Cohen script. I was wrong, of course; the film had been written by the equally great Nigel Kneale. So it only made sense that here we got Cohen’s version of a similar storyline. While Halloween III was very sharp and dark, The Stuff reaches for some broad, heavy handed laughs and often falls short. Maybe Cohen figured if you wanted to reach an audience in the Reagan era with a dire warning about rampant consumerism, subtlety would get you nowhere.  The film does have a number of moments, though, and I love the fact that the “monster” here is a smooth, white, featureless dessert. I also love the fact that a paranoid Right Wing nutjob saves the day in the end.

Two years after The Stuff, Warner Brothers offered Coen a deal to direct two straight-to-video pictures: a second  sequel to It’s Alive, and a sequel to Tobe Hooper’s TV version of Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot. Cohen, anxious to work with Moriarty again and push the story of the mutant babies a little further, signed the contract.

Working fast and cheap as ever (he said all of his films were shot in 18 days), Cohen returned to form with It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive, with one difference. While the previous two films had been stark and ultimately quite grim, with Moriarty aboard Cohen was able to bring out a lot more humor.  Mixed more evenly with the violence, the blood, a half-hidden AIDS parable,  and Cohen’s trademark strangeness, here it works more effectively than it had in The Stuff or his straight comedies.

This time around, Moriarty is a struggling actor who finally gains fame after he and his wife (Karen Black) become the proud parents of another monster baby. That’s pretty much it for the marriage, but instead of destroying the baby, a judge orders that all the mutant babies be sent to, yes, an island where they can roam free and pose no threat to anyone.

Moriarty’s life, meanwhile, collapses under the constant questions and accusations until he finds himself working in a children’s shoe store. In a delightful set piece, he finally cracks and gives the what-for to all the rotten little brats and their obnoxious parents. There’s just something both terrifying and hilarious about Moriarty when he loses it.

Anyway, he joins a government-sponsored expedition to the island to study the mutants and run a few tests. Along the way, we learn the government has stopped trying to destroy the mutants after deciding instead they represent a new stage of human evolution, quite possibly a form of human who could survive a nuclear war. Moriarty, who loves his child and wants to protect it, tries to warn the babies to stay away from the researchers, which does not endear him to the researchers. No matter, it isn’t long before all the members of the expedition are dead save for Moriarty, who finds himself alone on a boat with four mutant babies. And that’s when things start taking any number of strange turns.

Island of the Alive is also marked by a fantastic opening sequence, in which a woman gives birth in the back of an NYC cab as the cab driver panics about the mess. Or maybe that scene’s just memorable to me because it was shot in an alley behind the building where I used to work.

After the film was wrapped, Cohen packed up his crew and several members of the cast and flew to a small town in Vermont to start shooting the Salem’s Lot sequel, a sequel in name and font alone. Compared with Island of the Alive, A Return to Salems Lot seemed almost an afterthought. Maybe people were just tired after the previous shoot, but the cinematography has all the flat earmarks of a TV film, and the music, usually so rich in a Cohen picture, has been reduced to a cheap, cliched electronic score. Even the actors, apart from Cohen’s usual suspects (like Andrew Duggan), are abrasive at best.

Story’s still good, though. In their fourth and final collaboration, Moriarty is a famed anthropologist whose ex-wife saddles him with his troubled and foul-mouthed teenage son. Not knowing what else to do with the kid, he takes him to Salem’s Lot. Moriarty had visited an aunt there once when he was young, and when she died she left him her (now decrepit) house. It doesn’t take long to figure out the town is home to a colony of vampires.

Cohen’s script plays around quite a bit with the mythology, with the anthropologist being conscripted to write the vampires’ history to set the record straight, but the film is memorable for one reason. Sam Fuller appears for the second half of the film playing, well, Sam Fuller. He’s given a different name of course, and he’s playing a Van Helsing-type vampire hunter, but it’s Sam Fuller all right, as short, gruff, and straightforward as ever, and always chomping on that ever-present cigar. Cohen’s homage to the king of independent filmmakers is the only thing here that lifts the picture above second-tier Cohen fare (which is nevertheless still more interesting than most vampire films made in the last 20 years).

Cohen went on to make another straight thriller and a comedy about witches that turned out to be Bette Davis’ last film before returning to the horror, conspiracies, and New York that always brought out the best in him. It would be the last of the classic Larry Cohen films.

In 1990’s The Ambulance, Eric Roberts plays an enthusiastic young comic book artist working for Marvel (Stan Lee has a few cameos as himself) who sees a young woman on the street and falls immediately and stupidly in love with her. When she collapses to the pavement while they’re talking and an antique ambulance appears out of nowhere to whisk her away, he sets out to find her without even knowing her name.

It sounds like fairly standard romantic comedy material and there’s no denying that’s at play here, but as usual there are a few other genres at work, too, as we learn the drivers of that creepy antique ambulance are making their own victims all over the city.  It’s best to leave the story there and not mention the organ harvesting ring, but the film does include James Earl Jones, Eric Braedon, and a grainy, dirty, street level Manhattan that, even circa 1990, still seems so ancient and alive.

Moving into the later ‘90s and 2000s, as films like his were no longer really viable in a marketplace so fixated on formula and empty pointless characters, Cohen concentrated more on his screenplays, but even if the stories had that old Cohen spark and warp, the films that were made from them tended to be sadly conventional. He was behind Phone Booth, Cellular, Messages Deleted, Captivity, and rewrote his own script for the reboot of It’s Alive.  

He once made the excellent point that B films tended to have a longer lifespan than A films, because it’s the genre pictures that find a new audience every generation. Kids have no idea who Robert Taylor or Greer Garson are anymore, but they will always know Karloff and Lugosi, because people will always be going back to horror films while the big dramas, so important at the time, will fade away.

Cohen made films that weren’t like anything else (except maybe Halloween III). They weren’t aimed at teenagers and they weren’t slasher pictures. They were intelligent, textured, character-based, and they dealt with adult themes. Plus they had monsters in them.

Cohen’s career, as noted above, spanned some fifty years, and fifty years from now, I can almost guarantee no one will remember Titanic or whatever the hell nonsense won a Best Picture Oscar over the past two decades, but they’ll still be watching God Told Me To.

At the time of his death, Cohen left behind dozens of unproduced screenplays. If anyone had seen fit to toss him the funding to make the films he wanted to make, who knows what else he might have left us?

by Jim Knipfel

[bonnissance]

pippa owns a small secluded cottage in the forest/countryside and invites hecate over for the weekend

so fun story, I sat down and wrote two whole other sections of this theme before I decided to focus on she/they high femme nonbinary Pippa Pentangle and their home away from the castle (which they’ve secretly always wanted Hecate to be a part of), and idk if the parts mesh together into one fic, so y’all get this one on it’s own for the moment

Pippa Pentangle(/Hecate Hardbroom), 1.5k+, teen. CW: references to nonbinary exclusion, few references to transphobic rhetoric (hmu if i’ve messed anything, this is an area of writing i’m unfamiliar w), gay pining (when isn’t it?)

Pippa has a cottage, a few hours away from Pentangle’s, more hours away from Cackle’s, the furtherest away from Hecate, in the middle of both then off to the side, on the farthest edge of Darkwood and a few miles more: a strange sort of diamond that spans across the coast to encompass the woodland of the country side.

It’s in the middle of clearing in the heart of the forest, hidden far away from prying eyes and further away from the responsibilities they spend their days fulfilling, upholding, taking up themselves to push herself and the students to become the best magic casters they can be.

Pippa loves Pentangle’s dearly, but sometimes they just need to get away.

And she’s had it for years, decades—a home to come back to, while they worked their way up and down the country moving from teaching position to different school, never quite finding her feet on solid ground in any of them.

It was hard, in the earlier years of their career: the more traditionalist academies hated Pippa’s disregard for rigidity and blind obedience towards authority, while the schools that claimed modernity, that Pippa had hoped were more their style, still clung to assumptions Pippa had long since realised simply weren’t necessary.

Like keeping witches and wizards segregated to limit the possibilities of what magical children could grow up to be.

That’s what get her fired from her last position, before they took over Pentangle’s when their Aunt had passed away a year later and entailed the family school to Pippa.

‘Absurd,’ the headmistress had said. ’Of course you can’t teach wizards witchcraft, what utter nonsense.’

She’d practically laughed Pippa out of her office, in the wake of Pippa’s request to take on a new applicate from a nearby town: a young boy whose magic didn’t seem to sit right in the school where an old friend was the school nurse. An old friend who’d thought of Pippa when the wizard kept coming into the ward with depleted energy and almost not casting to show for their spent magic, and there was nothing she could do to help them.

Pippa had been desperate to help, positive they knew the root of the young caster’s problem, but no one was willing to listen, no matter how much they begged. The headmistress had demanded Pippa’s resignation not long after, citing a pile of complaints made during Pippa’s time at the school, from parents with problems with their teaching methods, the results, the way they introduced themselves during parent’s evening.

It was the last one that truly stung.

Pippa almost spat in the witch’s face before packing her bags and leaving the grounds: the staff had known what they were getting when they hire Pippa, they’d never hidden who they were, never shied away from curious, harmless questions about their dissertation—still making waves more than a decade on—and the witch who wrote it. And what drove Pippa’s research in the first place.  

But no matter how much the rest of the teachers listened, very few of them every really understood. And even fewer really cared.

So, Pippa left and never once looked back at a society that kept magic casters divided to make sure there was nowhere welcoming for the type of witch they’d become.

They made a quick detour to visit her friend on the way, to offer their services to the wizard in her care, before coming home to the cottage their great-grandmother entailed them a decade ago.

It had been a bit drab, when they’d first inherited it. Dusty like it hadn’t been used in half a century (67 years, to be more precise, since Great Aunt Petunia, the famous family hermit, had passed away and left it to Pippa’s grandmother), decorated like it was the 80’s—1880’s, that is—and Pippa always was more of a twentieth century sort of person.

The first thing they’d done was redecorate the whole house, inside and out: painted the exterior champagne and pale with blue trim on the window panes, the inside peach sweet and light and adorned with long velvet curtains in warmest purple (they’d considered a crushed pink, when they were deciding on decor, but there was something about the purple that caught her eye. They thought it blended well with the red of the armchairs by the fireplace, at first; it took almost a full year to realised it was the colour of Hecate’s sash when they were at school).

They’d installed bookshelves along every wall, bare and empty at first, but swiftly filled to the brim with tomes and textbooks and grimoires: ancient texts that ground their research, studies that reach all around the globe with broaden it, newer text to further it. A balance between the ideas that delight her, and as many that contradict: to be as thorough as possible, of course, by putting the skills she’d developed when she was young and determined to find a suitable, useful gift to give Hecate every year, so she could see her best friend smile.

Pippa knows why they’re drawn to the most archaic of texts and does her best to forget (they don’t need to anymore: the biggest gift of all).

Nonetheless, their collection grew. More so with her first pupil: in Pippa’s care for a year, where they watched the young caster bloom with promise, until her Aunt had died.

He’d been Pentangle’s first new enrolment, coming with Pippa as they took over as Head Teacher; their first graduate, too, and Pippa couldn’t be prouder of the caster they grew up to be, the youngest member of the magic council.

But as proud as Pippa of all the students in their school, that doesn’t mean they never needed time away. And when she does, Pippa comes here, to her home away from the castle, with only Artemis to keep her company, usually perched high on the extra armchair Pippa really doesn’t need, no matter how fond her familiar is of it, especially given he has a handcrafted tree of his own, (and if the trunk of Pippa’s creation also happens to be a scratching post, it’s simply to keep her birds claws in check, nothing at all to do with the needs of any other familiar. Certainly not).

She used to have chickens, once, in a coop along the far side of the house. But when Pippa took over Pentangle’s they soon realised the longer hours required she be on-site, that taking paperwork with them wherever they went really wasn’t an option, and it simply wasn’t feasible to keep the brood caged away with no one to care for them.

So Pippa brought them back to the school during the first summer holiday. Set up an area on the east side of the castle, the expanse of overgrown grass that no one ever seemed to be able to tame or replace, where Pippa added few trees for shade and a dash of magic to help things along and made them all the beginnings of an orchard.

The teachers hadn’t known what to make of it, yet one more new thing to accept now that Pippa ran the school, but the students had loved it, even more when new chicks hatched, and their collection of fowls had almost tripled in the space of one spring.

The goat had been their Deputy’s idea, and by the end of Pippa’s second year at Pentangle’s the school had the makings of an entire farm, a vegetable patch even bigger than the one Pippa has at home.  

They hadn’t realised why they needed such a huge patch, why she’d plotted but never planted. Why they just let it grow whatever it wanted. Not till that tried to tame it, stripping it back in time for the spring break and Hecate impending visit: the reason Pippa had made it in the first place.  

Because it’s always been Hecate, even when Pippa thought she hated her: the colour of her curtains and the extra chair by the fire, a quite wilderness just outside a kitchen stocked like a baker lives in the same cottage Pippa has spent half their life perfecting.

And it is, perfect: almost, that is. Almost perfect with it’s always burning fire and enough books to keep even the most particular of occupied on rainy days, and a calendar on the wall that that marks nothing besides the passing of the moon and their loves next visit.

A calendar with a pink circle marking this very day: a day practically perfect in every way.

Pippa looks out the window, see a silhouette on the horizon coming closer and closer: the missing piece, only just out of reach.

But not anymore, because Hecate lands other side of the hip-height picket fence, cloak flapping in the breeze while she strips off her gloves, before making her way to Pippa’s front door.

Pippa meets her there, welcomes her in before she can knock: holds her closes, kisses her cheek, draws her inside. Goes off make tea while Morgana begins to sniff around the house; brings the tray back to see Hecate making herself at home, here, in front of the fire, sitting in a red velvet armchair with a book already in her lap.

Comes back to find Hecate has made herself comfortable here, in Pippa’s home, just the way it should be.

[italicwatches]

I Couldn’t Become a Hero, so I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job - Episode 01

I regret nothing. …Well, I say that now. I’m not entirely sure if this show will be any good, but it’s one whose title has had me curious for a while. Will it be silly and fun, or will it, I don’t know, turn super rapey or something? You never really know when you go down this road. So join me, won’t you? it’s I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job, episode 01! Here we GO!

-We begin with fire and brimstone. A volcano erupting! And then, to a temple ruins! It’s a scene right out of an incredibly anime version of Jason and the Argonauts, as our armored hero fights against a batch of skeleton w…knights, only for a harpy to come swinging in! He’s saved by a woman…in…

-Okay it’s one of these.

-Because that wouldn’t even qualify as Sexy Samurai in a decade-old shitpost video. So our hero, Raul Chaser, is willing to rely onYUP THERE GOES HER ARMOR. So she’s like Darkness but without the joke that she’s into this kind of treatment. A small army of skeletal archers pour on the arrows…When lightning comes down from the skies, brought by their other companions! Fight, war, and reach the giant leading this army! Strike him down, and they pass the exam! The woman races in, sprints up the giant’s arm, rams her fucking sword into his EYE…

-And Raul backs her up with his RAUL SLASH, carving deep through…

-Hard cut to the light of day. The hero school has been shut down. Demon Lord got defeated(probably by some fucker from another world), sooooo they don’t need to keep training brave heroes. They’re all fucked. They’re fuuuuuucked.

-Episode 01: I Couldn’t Be a Hero, so I’m Working the Register

-Hard cut to the Leon Magic Shop, where Raul has to sell suburban couples on enchanted washing machines. Magically guaranteed to remove even the most stubborn stains! But they’re not interested.

-TITTIES.

-Meet a perky bubbly young lady, Nova, who does not realize how sexualized she is. I’m sorry. Anyways, Raul is in a bit of a bind, too, since he hasn’t gotten a raise and his credit card bill is coming up this week…When a nerd comes in looking for some vintage cassette tapes. You’re in luck, they have some…! And suddenly the store is mobbed by vintage audio enthusiasts here to buy out the entire stock. Then they’re gone as fast as they came…

-And you know what, I don’t think those tapes are super vintage. I just spotted totally-not-Kodak film behind the counter. I think this is just set in the 80s-90s equivalent of this world. Plus, after a hoodie-clad blonde comes in, the CRT television in the corner plays Conveniently Timed News about how the cassette maker I-ONE has gone out of business! They just couldn’t hold their own against cheaper, ‘good enough’ cassettes and equipment from the competition while still making a profit. It’s a legitimate tragedy whenever that happens.

-And the blonde is getting mad and wants them to get the manager right now…Which is when Nova runs off to handle inventory. Escape, Nova, escape while you can! So Raul is forced to do it…Which is when the blonde slams a resume down. And is here for an interview. When the blonde forgets the resume…And so Raul’s able to read it, and holy shit.

-Raul bursts into the interview room with the resume, because you cannot seriously be thinking of hiring the demon lord’s child, right boss? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! You literally wrote it on your resume. W, Well, you’re supposed to tell the truth on those, aren’t you?! Anyways, busty lady boss has decided that Fino here will be joining the shop. It’ll be a good experience! Fino, Raul. Raul, Fino. Please get along.

-So soon Fino’s in the store, looking at all the stuff, and there’s some really cool things that humans have made. Like magicvision, and magic cassettes, and magic…You know what I’m just going to spoil it for you now. It’s 80s-90s level tech, made with magic. I’m not going to bother to specify anymore. It’s a fuckin’ TV, it’s cool that it works because of fairy dust or whatever but I’m calling it a TV. Anyways Fino never had a personal TV growing up in the Demon Castle, and is all oooooh and aaaah.

-Well, you know what else you didn’t have growing up in the Demon Castle? A broom. Get sweeping, rookie. …Yes sir! And then Convenient News comes back on to talk about the anniversary event for the demon lord’s defeat two years ago. Quick flashback, to how that day totally fucked Raul’s life. A young man, two steps away from a degree in a job that literally no longer existed overnight. His entire party was shattered. They’re stuck in dead-end jobs and with crushing college debt, and nothing to show for it except broken dreams and a bitter envy of those who actually benefitted from the changing order…

-…Damn. That’s…Damn.

-Eventually it’s later in the day, and Raul is continuing to struggle with getting Fino to, you know, work like a proper employee…Also shocking twist Fino has long lovely hair. And that’s when a rough, tough…Dirty old man comes in off his slick dragon-pulled hotrod. And he’s here to peek up Nova’s skirt and grope that ass. Fino immediately decides this shit has to be stopped…When the old man reveals he’s gonna be buying a lightbulb. One lightbulb. Every time. The perfect excuse. And now Fino is…Shall we say, confused. Are humans like dogs? Is butt stuff just part of the communication?

-Does Fino need to bend over? Fino stop bending over. FINO NO. FINO PUT YOUR BUTT AWAY. NOVA DON’T ENCOURAGE THIS.

-Lunch break, at last. Raul is able to sit down and have some food from the convenience store…A place with some old friends who worry about the dork, and look after each other.

-Back in the store, the boss is talking to her assistant manager, Viser, and trying to explain her disinterest in bringing in another company into the shop…When they spot Raul working with Fino at the register, over the security cameras. And cut down to the actual register, where Raul’s decided that the actual core of Fino’s problems is a lack of respect. Rethink everything. Back to zero. This job means they are lesser than the customer. Yeah it sucks. Deal with it.

-…Fino doesn’t know how to do that. Well try on Raul. Okay! …Fino you’re being demonic again. This isn’t a battle, you stupid dork. Are you a chuuni or just stupid?

-Fino is just trying to copy how Dad used to talk! Your dad was, literally, a demon king. THE demon king. There is, quite literally, no worse example you could mimic for this lesson! …You know what, start with the manual. But first, come on, to the repair room. They also do repair work.

-Oooh, what’s that? It’s a toaster oven. And that?! A humidifier. And…And Fino touches the humidifier, and causes a surge of water, electricity and magical energy that knocks the poor idiot into the far wall! Raul’s stuck carrying Fino into the break room to figure out a plan that doesn’t involve calling a doctor and getting into trouble, and oh, great, a note from literally everyone else who works today listing their reasons they’re not here right now. Awesome. Just awesome.

-Right, first step, get these ruined clothes off of Fino. …Fino was not wearing anything under that hoodie. And that’s how a pair of big, bountiful, ladylike breasts come wobbling out.

-And that’s when Fino wakes up.

-So.

-This isn’t great for either party. And both of them are having a freakout, until the actual events that happened get all laid out. …Please put some fresh clothes on, Fino.

-And eventually, it’s the tail end of Fino’s first day, and she gets to have a uniform! Now sweep the walkway. By hand. With this broom. Welcome to working life, kid. When a sweet old lady passes by praising her hard work, and Fino thanks her, and the kid might just do okay in this world. Maybe.

-Night comes, and Raul stops at the convenience store for dinner, having a brief chat…But as he walks by the shop on his way home, the lights are on?

-Because Fino is in the back, washing down by hand in the sink?! What are you DOING?! She’s got no house, so this is her house now. …That’s not…That isn’t…You can’t just…Do you have any idea how terrible dish soap is for hair and skin? I’d question focusing on that angle over all the other things Fino’s done wrong here, but at the same time, I mean, there comes a point where you just have to find the smallest bite of the elephant.

-And as Raul helps her dry and generally make herself presentable, they end up talking about their own pasts. Raul, who came from a tiny village only to see all the great marvels of modernity in the city, and Fino who lived an even less modern life in the castle…Despite everything, there is a connection of friendship there, and Fino’s starting to learn human society. She might just do okay here yet.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Fino touches the turbo button on the hair dryer and…Uh…It makes a biiiiig boom. She has a scary amount of magic in a world that runs on the stuff.

Hmmmm. Well, it’s not so bad that I’m gonna drop it, but man, the fan service in this one is dense…And a lot of it is pure camera-work, too, not actions actually willingly undertaken by characters. It’s honestly a shame. There’s a lot of interesting conceptual meat in this. It really didn’t need big bouncing tits and panty shots everywhere to be a good show.

Oh well. Sometimes I watch super amazing stuff and my job is just to show that amazingness to you. Sometimes, I watch not-so-great stuff and my job is to separate off the good stuff and bring it together into a better piece. If this one’s more the latter, that’s fine. We’ll just have to get a better vibe on it next time, in episode TWO of I Couldn’t … Job! Wait for it!

[losvcr]

mike hanlon as a poc

a/n: okay so, as a black female, i really wanted to add on some headcanons for mike as the only black male and poc in the losers club. i know he’s a human guy just like anyone else, but african americans have culture too so hope this doesn’t offend anyone! i think most of the headcanons can overlap but if i’m talking specifically abt book/movie mike or a modern day mike i’ll clarify. i haven’t read the book yet so if smth is wrong sorry!

sunday dinners were always a thing for the hanlons. i haven’t read the book but it seemed like mike was close to his parents from what i’m getting

one time mike invited all the losers over for sunday dinner and they got to taste soul food for the first time

mike’s mom made a huge feast for the losers and even made them plates to go home so their parents could try it, etc.

richie is the loser who tends to come over a lot for sunday dinners after that bc u kno.. his fam sucks. and the hanlons welcome him w/ open arms

personally i imagine mike to have the most diverse music taste

he liked rock n roll just like the other losers (and punk rock n the 80s)

when he’s with his fam there’s a lot of smooth jazz going on but also a lot of r&b

the jackson 5 and michael jackson was a household staple

there was a lot of motown too

and i think who he talked abt that the most with was ben because ben also has a very diverse music taste. whenever a motown record came out ben would just rush over to mike’s and is like ‘let’s play this smokey robinson song 12 times’

in modern day he would listen to a lot of soft rock but also a lot of r&b/hip-hop too. lauryn hill is his hero and he argues that her album is the best hip hop album to date

as much as his parents love the other losers and the fact that they took him in as a friend, they tell him to be careful

bc he’s the only poc and they can get away with stuff that he wouldn’t be able to get away with

but in all honesty mike wouldn’t be super worried bc he knows that his friends got his back. shit, they saved him from bowers when they didn’t have to

i think mike relates with bev the most tbh.

when they’re out together i think mike and bev gets the most shit from other people bc of their race and gender, and they just kinda hold hands and collectively tell said ppl to fuck off (hahaha and then eddie comes in with some choice words and mike just finds it amazing bc eddie rlly won’t tolerate that kinda hate)

when mike develops feelings for bill and stan, and vice versa, he’s incredibly scared to tell his parents that they’re his new boyfriends

bc in a lot of black families homophobia is rampant and he already knows that his race + his sexuality is a bad combination

but stan and bill are so patient with him and give him cuddles and kisses and tells him to only say something when he’s ready and that they’ll be there with him if he wants them to

when he does tell his parents it’s not looking good at first. his mom cries and his dad has some denial over the whole thing

and it makes mike so sad that he cries when he’s alone with the losers (and they comfort him ofc bc they all fucking love mike with their whole hearts (esp his boyfriends))

but eventually his parents come around because they love him and want him to be happy!!

they just, ofc, tell him to be careful

i felt like i had a thousand more but i’ll add when they come back. FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS THIS IS IMPORTANT.

[aion-rsa]

American Gods: Inside Shadow and Technical Boy’s Excellent Adventure

https://ift.tt/3r2NS26

This article contains spoilers for American Gods season 3.

It seems that throughout the history of technology, there has been no greater driver of technological change than the most simple of human desires: sex.  From nickelodeon reels of women dancing in skimpy costumes to the home video format war of the ‘80s to the modern dating apps of today, sex sells, and sex has always been at the forefront of human invention. Someone makes a product, and someone else figures out how to use it to gratify humanity’s baser urges. To that end, it makes sense that the ancient Queen of Sheba and love goddess Bilquis and Technical Boy keep running into one another, despite their apparent differences. 

Two American Gods, one old, one new. The goddess of the most intimate act that can occur between two or more people and the soulless personification of every Internet pop-up ad turning that connection into a commodity. A being as old as time and a being that did not exist until the 20th Century. The cradle of civilization and the demise of Western civilization.

To Technical Boy actor Bruce Langley, the pairing could not be more antithetical.

“Tech Boy and Bilquis should never be in the same room together. It’s chalk and cheese. But whenever they are, there’s this wonderful chemistry of just these opposites grinding and smashing into each other and just so much weird tension.” 

Since the first season of American Gods, Bilquis and Technical Boy have been in continual orbit around one another. Bilquis has been Mr. World’s pet project, and he has been using Technical Boy to keep tabs on her for his own mysterious ends. World wants to win her, to woo her over to their side, and yet he keeps sending the least appropriate God in his arsenal to keep her in line. It’s Technical Boy’s personal mission to deal with Bilquis, and she does not make it easy.  When Shadow shows up in Bilquis’s beautiful appointment to find blood, discarded weapons, and a glitching Technical Boy, it’s easy for Shadow to assume the worst, but in fact, Technical Boy is something of a guiding hand for Bilquis albeit a rough one.

“He’s the one who offered her this soured apple lifeline with the app that enabled her to survive in the modern day, get a wonderful apartment, get a load of money, and get consistent worship,” Langley says. “He’s been not so subtly pointing to the sword of Damocles that he had attached over her head since he gave her the app. But this time, he more or less just comes in, detaches the sword, holds it up and says, ‘Hey, I can swing this thing pretty hard, get on side.’ Which of course, Bilquis is not going to respond to.”

Bilquis actress Yetide Badaki expounds upon the unusual relationship: “The Gods have such a hard time pinning BIlquis down, because they’re used to being able to lure individuals with power and money, but these are all things that don’t matter. She’s more interested in the journey for the whole, the journey for more than just the individual. That’s one reason why she shies away from this continued discourse by both sides about war. It really benefits individuals. It definitely does not benefit those that worship the Gods.”

That tension between the two of them is certainly the first thing Shadow jumps to when he walks in and finds Technical Boy glitching out on the couch. He is a New God, Bilquis is a free agent, and there are signs of a struggle. Shadow, despite being called a nice person by Ricky Whittle in our season 3 behind-the-scenes chat, is also a very action-oriented guy, and not an especially deep thinker. Hence, he thrashes Technical Boy a bit before he can talk a little sense into Shadow. However, Technical Boy is more than just trying to stop the beating at the hands of Shadow; he has an altogether more dangerous person who wants to make sure he is keeping an eye on Bilquis.  

“Technical Boy has definitely used up eight of his nine lives, as far as World is concerned. So he’s got to get a W on the board real, real quick. He’s got to redirect Bilquis completely onto their side of the board. He can’t fuck that one up,” admits Langley. 

Read more

TV

American Gods Season 3: What Awaits Shadow in Lakeside

By Ron Hogan

A God cannot be brought over to your side of the table if that God is removed from the table, so the disappearance of Bilquis under suspicious circumstances is nothing if not concerning for her friend Shadow, and her recruiter Technical Boy. Hence, the two must make an alliance and undertake a hunt for a missing love goddess, with Technical Boy providing the technical details, and Shadow providing some much needed muscle for Technical Boy.

“He’s put in a position where he loses access to some of his toys, and he’s put in a position of vulnerability that he’s not used to. He’s in a spot without his back up,” Langley says. “Tech Boy’s more concerned with himself. He’s been always out for number one, but in season three, we see him put in a position where he needs to look out for himself or suffer the consequences. He makes some very interesting alliances.”

Strange alliances, yes, but it all ties back into the greater point of American Gods. All of these disparate elements come together, bounce off one another in interesting ways, and become something greater than the sum of their parts.  Yetide Badaki describes it best; it’s not so much chalk and cheese but chocolate and peanut butter.

“What’s fascinating to see over this season is the places where they share common ground, places where they may mirror their experiences,” says Badaki.  “We see Shadow Moon, not only having his moment of self-discovery, but we’re also seeing him find this whole new agency within him. The more all of these people learn about themselves, the more they see how interconnected they are.”

Shadow Moon and Technical Boy, the most unlikely detective pairing since Tango and Cash, brought together by their shared relationships with Bilquis. One is altruistic, the other entirely selfish, but for the moment, the tangled threads weaved by Clotho and dispensed by Lachesis have brought them together to prevent Atropos (or the mysterious suited goons who have her trapped) from making the snip that breaks their shared bonds with Bilquis. The whole over the self? Not exactly, but on the right track.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

For Shadow and Technical Boy, working together is not fun, but necessary.  For Shadow, it is the right thing to do.  For Technical Boy, it’s the only way to save his cybernetic skin and fix whatever glitch Bilquis introduced into his systems. 

The post American Gods: Inside Shadow and Technical Boy’s Excellent Adventure appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3cutdA2