#it is all he can give especially bc he views his own alice as only being good to hurt others
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everythingsinred Ā· 1 year ago
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@tardytothepardy i want to say something intelligent here but i cant think of much.... this gives off HEAVY natsumikan vibes, you're very right...
he's not of healthy mind and the life he's lived is so incredibly violent where he's been doing horrible and violent missions in an effort to protect the people he loves to an extent where, undoubtedly, violence and love have become indistinguishable. it's how he shows he cares. (various examples of natsume "dirtying his hands" as a show of devotion to mikan, from the very beginning to the very end, under the cut)
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I've got your back and though it's stacked against us I've got your hand, it's us against consensus And I will burn the people who hurt you the most and I will not learn 'Cause I am too young and too dumb to consider the terms I'm breaking the law and I'll curse the day that they return With a smile on my face as their heads hit the floor And it's done, now it's curtains, the blood lost, it's the cost, it fucking hurts But it's working and even if you ask me to stop it's too late Because I've already decided that faith is not a distaste, it's pure hate And it pulsates and it works its way around my brain And anyway, what I'm tryna say is I'll protect you till the day I'll meet my maker So don't fight me now 'cause you might need me later -Raleigh Ritchie/Jacob Anderson, "Bloodsport"
actually the best ship dynamic is i would kill for you. i would kill anyone who layed a hand on you. please let me kill for you. please let me show my devotion by dirtying my hands, it's the only way i know how. let me destroy anything that hurts you. i've hurt you too. i'm destroying myself.
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ashironie Ā· 10 months ago
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OMG I JUST LISTENED TO THE NEWEST EPISODE ANDā€”
Gerry sound soā€¦ happy
At first I didnā€™t recognize his voice and assumed Jonny just named another character Gerry, but then Gertrude was there andā€¦
That all makes me so happy.
AND THEN AN ALICE AND GWEN INTERACTION!!! DYHARD FOR THE WIN!!! SURE THEY WERE AT EACHOTHERS THROATS MOST THE TIME BUT IF YOU SQUINT IT SOUNDS LIKE MILDLY UNHAPPY ROOMMATES!!! THATS BETTER THAN VERY UNHAPPY ROOMMATES!!!!
Ugh, they are so in love. They sound like a toxic st8 couple thatā€™s been married for 50 years and makes ā€˜ball and chainā€™ jokes.
GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE!!!!!!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!
Also the statement seemed likeā€¦ ok hereā€™s a list of everything I could get from it
ā€œand feelings of the uncannyā€ (about liminality) (1)
Two things for this quote ā€œit creates an effect of absence despite presence, an ā€˜architectural hungerā€™ of a sort.ā€ (4)
ā€œThe top of the towerā€¦ featured unmatched panoramic views of the surrounding rural countryside on all sides.ā€ (3)
ā€œa soulless fairground,ā€ (regarding the previous area) (2) (4)
ā€œthere were less and less people every night.ā€ (2) (4)
ā€œThere was a nebulous haze across the entire car parkā€¦muted colors punctuated with more vivid reds, whites and yellowsā€¦ I realized it primarily hovered above the asphalt.ā€ (1) (2) (4)
ā€œthe phenomena was accompanied by a disquieting sense of absence. Of hunger.ā€ (4)
ā€œkaleidoscopeā€ (1) (4)
The description of the ā€œYou Are Here!ļæ½ļæ½ Woman (1)
ā€œa particularly high tide of color swept down the corridor toward me.ā€ (1) (4)
The repeating patrons of the Restaurant (1)
The Void (3) (4)
ā€œTheir grip on me tightened, a dozen hands pushing and pulling me as one.ā€ (1) (2)
ā€œopened his mouth, and bit into me.ā€ And the ensuing cannibalism (? Is it really cannibalism if you arenā€™t human?) (2) (4)
ā€œleaping out one of those windows into pure oblivionā€ (3) (4)
Okokokokok SO! Iā€™ve put numbers to everything so I can talk about everything easier. (1) The Uncanny (both from The Stranger and The Spiral, they have similar enough vibes to me) (2) The Lonely (3) The Vast (4) The Hunger/The Nothing.
The uncanniness of this statement is undeniable, reminds me of the previous episode actually. Itā€™s also worth a mention that the author constantly denies the validity of anything he says and just thinks he was going through an episode, which could be Spiral coded or just statement stuff. Since everything is copy and pasted that seems closer to that idea but still.
The author keeps talking about the lack of people at the beginning and a particular fixation on how they act (seems very Martin domain core to me). Also fog. And the people stuff reminds me of Mag 48 Lost in a Crowd, the otherness you feel, the loneliness because of it. Maybe this is a cannibalism and animal nature as a metaphor for the āœØhorrors of other peopleāœØ. That kinda feels like a stretch but it makes sense in my head.
Ahhhh, the call of the void, the fear of uselessness to things that donā€™t even know you exist. The void is obvious Vast coded, especially with the oblivion comment (imo). I donā€™t have much to say that Iā€™m not gonna say next but this needed its own section bc the void.
My favorite theory about wtf is happening in this episode that I made the fuck up right here right now. At multiple points in this statement does ā€˜Hungryā€™ and ā€˜Hungerā€™ come up, specifically when talking about your reaction to a deficit in something. This could also be cannibalism coded, being so desperate for someone, anyone, that they eat the only ones around. Which brings me to the second half, the nothingness. This is mixed with basically all the Lonely and Vast feelings of this statement, a lack of something, be it people, color, etc. This could maybe be something that is trying to be more like sensory deprivation, the more deprived you are the more your brain tries to make things to be less deprived, and the more empty you feel because of it. This episode kinda gives me overwhelming feels too? Like when everything is too much and too little at the same time? Overstimulation and understimulation mixing to make the worst thing in the world. Idk
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sukibenders Ā· 2 years ago
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I know that HOTD is supposed end in tragedy and things like, but it's so nice to imagine how things could have been if peace was an option:
1.) Rhae and Alicent rekindling their friendship a year or so after Alicent is forced to marry Viserys. Like Rhae may have been giving her the cold shoulder for that time, but would always be the first person to look at Alicent with concern during the time of her pregnancy in fear of something going wrong. In turn, after supplying more support, Alicent feels safe enough to tell Rhae about what her father has been saying. This ends with Otto getting booted (instead of killed, bc I think Rhae would know that that's the last thing Alicent would want).
2.) Gwayne coming in and being in Alicent's corner, supporting and loving her in more ways than Otto ever did.
3.) Seeing more time spent between Harwin and Rhae. Like, in my mind, they are a little more lacks about their relationship within the family because no one, Otto specifically, is gunning out for them and Alicent is more assured of her children's safety. Maybe even Corlys and Rhaenys know of it, because Laenor is going to be honest with them about it, but would still be unsettled. I think, to make it easier, they would pass off the claim to Driftmark to Laena's daughters, Baela and Rhaena.
4.) Rhae and Alicent raising their kids alongside each other, so there's no bad blood and just a happy family. Like seeing Rhae interact with her siblings and not viewing them as a threat would be so wholesome. And Laena coming to visit with her twin girls and making the family even bigger. Idk about Daemon's place in all this, really, so for this instance he's just there but kept in a corner as to not cause trouble.
5.) Rhae getting to chew Viserys out, because it's what she deserves. Like knowing what he put her mother through, his hand in her death, and what he may be subjecting Alicent too (e.g. knowing he's neglecting his children with her) I feel she would let out some rage.
6.) Laena doesn't die, and gets to spend her days with her family because I said so. I'd you want Aegon III and Viserys II to exist, I guess they work out some way with Daemon and Rhae so have what you will. But back to Laena, we would even get to see more of her and Laenor bonding, and maybe even give their parents a piece of their minds.
7.) Aegon being put in check.
8.) Alicent, especially surrounded by healthy examples of parenting and feeling safe enough to do so, would probably reflect on not only her own relationship with her children, but also how her relationship with her father and Viserys shaped how she became. This would lead to many revelations but she learns to heal and be better towards her kids.
9.) More of the dragons, because this show is called House of the Dragon, with dragon literally in the name, but we hardly see them except for maybe two or three.
10.) Jace and Baela would still be together, because I love them and nothing can take them away from me. For Rhaena, because I want her with someone other than Luke, she could still possibly be with Garmund but ngl, I've seen some pairings of her and Daeron and I kind of see it.
11.) I am a Rhaenicent shipper, so that can exist in some regards as well because I say so. But also, Rhae and Laena will most definitely be a thing, like I see it.
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auroracalisto Ā· 4 years ago
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for the first time
summary: the reader finally sees her life in a new point of view, thanks to carlisle, who has helped her with her abusive husband, her baby girl luna, and her life in general.Ā Ā 
pairing: carlisle x female! married/widowed! abused! reader
word count: 1.6k words
warnings: female reader, married and eventually widowed reader, reader is abused by her husband, reader has the surname Wolf in this bc comedic reasons, reader has a child named Luna by said husband, mentions of murder, no depictions but carlisle definitely did the stabby stab (at least if thatā€™s what you wanna assume he did), uhhh reader got them widow benefits by the end but thatā€™s a story for another time, ALSO for some reason i put this in the year 2005 and it goes on to 2006/2007?Ā  so this would technically be the same timeline as bella and edward meeting.Ā  so first movie.Ā  yes.Ā  i love the technicalities of everything.Ā  honestly didnā€™t mean for it to happen but it did soĀ 
a/n: i have no words
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Carlisle first had the honor of meeting you at your then-husbandā€™s Christmas party.Ā  It was December 20th, 2005.Ā  Your child was most definitely due by the end of January.Ā  You were quite literally glowing, and Carlisle believed you were the most beautiful thing he had seen in some time.Ā  However, most of the beauty was because of your skill with makeup.Ā  Without it, bruises galore would be revealed to the outside world, and your husband would not be too happy to find out that you showed off the newest shiner he gave to you.Ā 
Even while pregnant, he did not care for your wellbeing.Ā  Hell, he made it quite obvious that he would never care for the little girl growing in your midsection.Ā  But even if he was a terrible prick, you decided to have this child.Ā  Of course, maybe it would have been better for you to end the pregnancy early on.Ā  However, a part of you didnā€™t want that.Ā  A part of you wanted to have the baby and leave your husband.Ā  Whichever order it came in would be fine.Ā  But knowing now that it would be the latter made you nervous.Ā Ā 
The second time Carlisle saw you was in the middle of a grocery store, calming down your newborn baby.Ā  Your husband had sent you out in the middle of February, just a month after giving birth.Ā  You were alone, and everything was upsetting.Ā  Your babyā€™s little cries caused your own tears to well up in your eyes.Ā Ā 
When the two of you made eye contact, you finally broke.Ā  You didnā€™t want anyone to see you like that, and yet, here you were with your husbandā€™s co-worker, crying in the middle of the bread aisle.Ā Ā 
ā€œMrs. Wolf, please.Ā  Let me help you,ā€ Carlisle softly said, leaving his buggy on the other side of you.Ā  He came over, looking at your baby.Ā  ā€œIā€™ll get her to calm down.ā€
You took his word for it, allowing Carlisle to comfort your crying child.Ā  ā€œPlease.Ā  Donā€™t call me that.Ā  [Your name] is fine.ā€
He watched you with soft eyes and nodded.Ā  ā€œAnd who is this?ā€ he softly asked, looking down at the fussing infant.Ā  Her eyes were shut and she never once had actual tearsā€”one thing that never sat right with him was how babies couldnā€™t form tears until they were about two months old (sometimes even longer).Ā Ā 
ā€œLuna,ā€ you softly spoke, watching as your little girl started to calm down in his arms.Ā  You sniffled softly, wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeve.Ā  You should have been more careful, but you didnā€™t care at this point.Ā  It was getting harder and harder to do this; if someone saw a bruise, someone saw a bruise.Ā Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s a beautiful name,ā€ Carlisle spoke, looking back at you.Ā  ā€œShe is very lucky to have you as a mother.ā€
By the third time Carlisle had properly talked to you, your husband had died.Ā  Under mysterious circumstances, but he was gone.Ā  And you couldnā€™t have been happier.Ā  You had an idea of what had happened.Ā  Especially when you once opened your eyes in the middle of the night to see a flash of blond hair.Ā  But you drifted off back to sleep, not thinking anymore of it until the morning after when your husband was missing.Ā  However, you never once said anything.Ā Ā 
Weeks after he had passed, you had hired a babysitter for the evening.Ā  Carlisleā€™s two girls.Ā Ā 
And for once, you did not have to worry about the makeup covering your bruises.Ā  In fact, you wore your makeup how you liked it instead of having to wear it to protect your dead husband.Ā  You found yourself sitting in your car, in front of the hospital.Ā  Alice had informed you that her adoptive father was currently at workā€”that he was constantly working, and he never once took a break.Ā Ā 
Maybe you should have just turned around.Ā  Maybe you should have just left Washington, altogether.Ā  But your legs started moving before you could stop them.Ā  And once you saw Carlisle, you knew that you had to speak with him.Ā Ā 
You didnā€™t even have to say hello to him for the man to walk in your direction.Ā  He smiled kindly at you, and you wanted to say something.Ā  You desperately wanted to thank him for saving you, even if he never admitted it.Ā Ā 
But the words never found your tongue.Ā  Your arms wrapped around the doctor, your face buried deep in his blue dress shirt and his white lab coat.Ā  Carlisle had never been more grateful for not carrying his clipboard around.Ā  He wrapped his arms around your body, holding you close.Ā Ā 
Although the two of you never said anything, one thing was clear; you were both grateful for each otherā€™s existence.Ā  Even if you lived vicariously through passing glances and thoughtful actions.Ā Ā 
Luna was nearly one by the time you decided enough was enough.Ā  You were a widow, now.Ā  You did not have to worry about what your husband would say.Ā  And one thing was certain; the blond-haired doctor had your heart in more ways than one.Ā Ā 
He was so kind to you, always offering help and joyful smiles.Ā  His conversations carried you through your long days and kept you awake at night as you thought of how you could tell him how you truly felt.Ā Ā 
But now, you knew enough was enoughā€”you knew that you were not getting any younger, and neither was Carlisle (of course, because he was humanā€”of course, you wouldnā€™t learn that until later).Ā  You needed to talk to him.Ā  You needed to take a course of action.Ā Ā 
You grabbed your keys, walking to your door.Ā  Luna was babbling in her car seat.Ā  You sat it down to get the door open, nearly jumping out of your skin when you saw Carlisle standing there, prepared to knock.Ā Ā 
He had a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a rather awkward smile.Ā Ā 
ā€œMy apologies... are you going somewhere?ā€
Your cheeks began to burn.Ā  You sat your keys on the table beside your door, shaking your head.Ā  ā€œI was going to see you, actually.ā€
Luna giggled up at the man when he came into her line of vision.Ā  She adored Carlisle.Ā Ā 
ā€œOh, that makes this easier then,ā€ he let out a soft laugh, hesitantly holding out the flowers to you.Ā  ā€œThese are for you.Ā  I... I had asked Alice what your favorites were.Ā  I hope you donā€™t mind.ā€
You smiled.Ā  ā€œNo...Ā  No, I donā€™t,ā€ you said, clearing your throat.Ā  You moved out of the doorway so that he could come into your house.Ā  ā€œI was hoping that.. well, I am hoping this now.Ā  Iā€™ve needed to talk to you.Ā  For a while now.Ā  I really, really need to just get this off my chest, you know?Ā  I justā€”ā€
ā€œā€”could I be of any assistance?ā€ he chuckled softly.Ā  ā€œPerhaps I can find the words that you are searching for.ā€
You rolled your eyes, unable to keep your smile from forming.Ā  ā€œCarlisle, Iā€™ve... loved you since before my husband died.Ā  I know that for a fact, now.Ā  And I... hope that you feel the same way.Ā  About myself.Ā  And Luna.Ā  Weā€™re a package deal, you know.ā€
He chuckled softly and nodded.Ā  ā€œI know that you are a package deal.Ā  I... am very glad you feel that way, too.ā€
ā€œToo?ā€
ā€œYes,ā€ Carlisle smiled at you.Ā  ā€œI have loved you since the first time I have set eyes on you.ā€
You snorted out a laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.Ā  ā€œThat long, huh?ā€
He just smiled, watching you with kind, golden eyes.Ā  ā€œThere are many things I need to tell you, [Your name],ā€ he said, finally shutting the front door behind of him.Ā  He looked down at Luna and got her out of the carrier, especially when she happily reached for the man.Ā  ā€œPerhaps we can take this evening to talk?ā€
You smiled, nodding.Ā  ā€œI donā€™t know what the hell youā€™re talking about, but yeah.Ā  Iā€™d like that.ā€
All of you made Carlisleā€™s beatless heart skip.Ā  He could only hope that it was the opposite for you (he could definitely hear how fast your heart began to beat the closer he got to you).Ā  Luna entertained herself with the buttons on Carlisleā€™s shirt while the two of you talked until she fell asleep against him.Ā Ā 
Perhaps it was that moment that you truly knew that you were in love with Carlisle.Ā  Noā€”that action only fortified your love for the man.Ā  You knew you had loved him just as long as he had claimed to love you.Ā  And for once, you were not afraid of what love could do.Ā 
Because you believed you loved your deceased husband, you married him.Ā  You slowly watched him become a horrible person.Ā  And then you had Luna with him.Ā  Of course, that was the one good thing that came out of him.Ā  Perhaps the chance of meeting Carlisle as well.Ā Ā 
But you knew that now, the love you felt for Carlisle was as real as the infant in Carlisleā€™s arms.Ā  And it would never burn like your last loveless love.Ā Ā 
For the first time, it felt like you were seeing yourself in a new light.Ā  You were seeing everything from a different perspective.Ā  And Carlisle allowed that.Ā  Carlisle helped you find that.Ā Ā 
Even if he hadnā€™t have been there, you would have still found it.Ā  However, you knew that he made it so much easier than it would have been.Ā Ā 
For the first time, you knew real love.Ā  With Luna, and now with Carlisle.Ā Ā 
Despite everything that had happened to you, it seemed as though the universe was finally connecting the dots.Ā  And you couldnā€™t wait to see what she was going to give you, next.Ā Ā 
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austenwharton Ā· 4 years ago
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midnight sun thoughts!!
I have finished conquering Midnight Sun. here are my final and initial thoughts (more will come after all 600whatever pages have time to marinate)
-Edwin sux. Charlie has the right idea
-seriously, seeing bella hurt in the hospital and only focusing on wanting to leave her?? wtf man. read the room.
-I hate Edward a lot. i also love him. i also think Bella deserves better. I also think (especially Bella in Eclipse... the bella who dumps jacob after he gets injured in a battle about her, parallelism!!) deserves Edward exactly how he is.
-it is really strange seeing Bella through his eyes. it's very.... infantilizing. he sees her as such a child. it is greatly at odds with her view of herself.
-Rosalie deserves better. I refuse to believe that she would not have helped Bella with the James situation. I refuse to believe that someone who survived an assault would not help another woman.... and that the only reason she would help was bc emmett might face trouble as a result. I refuse to believe that smeyer. learn how to write woman.Ā 
-we deserve SO MUCH MORE esme characterization. Esme is so bland like... please give us something i want more esme!!Ā 
-renee sucks, too. i wish we'd gotten, either in this book or any of the original saga, some view of esme filling the role of bella's mother, since smeyer wants esme to only be a mom and have no other discernible personality traits.
-still so full of misogyny and racism. HOW have editors allowed this to happen?? this book can't be shielded by the thin excuse of "well, 2005 wasn't a socially conscious time." okay, it is never acceptable for the white man being painted as the hero to fantasize about destroying a very real tribe, not in 2005, not in 2020. wtf smeyer.
-I tend to think that Twilight and New Moon are the most compelling books in the saga because of the element of fantasy. They're more interactive for the reader. Edward's absence in both of the novels allows for the reader to mold him better to their image... i could go on and on about this, but i want to keep it short. I find it so funny that Edward shares this point of view. the amount of times he fantasizes about Bella's life without him, but yet he is still somewhere in the shadows, watching. idk about y'all, but i imagined this exact scene in middle school when i read New Moon for the first time, hoping that maybe bella & jacob could get together, and edward would be watching from the shadows, remorseful.Ā 
-idk if i can reread this one in the way that I can reread the others (well, apart from breaking dawn). the first 300 pages or soĀ (and the scene in the ballet studio) were straight up difficult for me to read, especially when edward was fighting between "the monster" and himself. i have an anxiety disorder, and it reminded me a lot of my own brain on a bad day... fighting against intrusive thoughts, and it would get kind of triggering for me. it makes me wonder about smeyer...Ā 
-i tried to read the meadow scene outside, under the southern sun, to feel something, but i ended up getting chased inside by a big hornet. i feel like that represents bella and edward's relationship.Ā 
but yeah, all in all, i can't tell if i really hate this book or if i think it's just fine. it's so weird. the fact that there's a car chase scene... wow, just... wow. i do not think i could handle the rest of this series from eddie's eyes, and i'm very glad smeyer has said that she can't do it. as i think about it, the only thing i would like is to hear alice get mad at edward about leaving bella in new moon, but i am sure someone has written a fanfic that does better than smeyer could!!
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subjectsix Ā· 5 years ago
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Hitman 2 and 3 theories
OKAY so Iā€™ve been reading about Hitman 2/3 theories and thinking on the ending of the Haven level a lot and decided to make a post about it because analyzing stuff is fun dkfjghdjkfhg
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Spoilers for the end of Hitman 2/the Haven level below the cut! (yā€™all its so much Iā€™m sorry KJLDFHGKJFHG its Hitman Lore And Meta Time)
FIRST lemme just say. Yā€™all Iā€™m very aware Iā€™m a big Lucas Grey fan dkjgfhkdjhg BUT I did my best to make sure that wasnā€™t getting into my analyzation too much, I like being as objective/unbiased as possible bc the Hitman storyline is wonderful (and if Lucas is the villain oooo Dramaā„¢)
anyway this is gonna be a long ramble so hereā€™s the TL;DR
Big point: I donā€™t think we can accurately piece together any sort of an answer currently, and IO wants us to doubt everyone and everything for the ā€œhookā€ into the next game, and they did a lovely job at it! Thank you IO <3
My three running theories with the info we have:
None of the main four are working with the constant, and he is manipulating them all to try and turn them on each other, making them doubt each other to cause dissension among them (see: him telling Diana about the hit on her parents, the concept that heā€™s making Lucas out to be a traitor) which could result in Lucasā€™ death (or not)
Lucas is being ā€œheld hostageā€ in a way by the constant-- Edwards has him by some threat or pressure point credible enough to make Lucas work for him
The least likely in my opinion due to evidence and Lucasā€™ character, but still possible maybe: Lucas made a deal with the constant somehow (when he wouldā€™ve found the time, I donā€™t know) because heā€™s got it in his head that he and 47 should be the providence leaders-- somewhere along the way he got so obsessed/focused on this all he got his view skewed and genuinely thinks heā€™s doing a good and helpful thing
So what prompted me was this specific comment on a hitman subreddit theory thread:
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So to me, the idea that Lucas has been a traitor from the start doesnā€™t seem to add up. If you look at everything we've seen from IO about him, it shows that Lucas is on a path of vengeance-- suddenly allowing The Constant off the hook seems like a massive shift in character, especially considering the comic and what we've seen of Lucas and 47 as kids (more on this in a bit)
So the only leap you can make after that to blame Lucas is the second comment on that reddit response, but that seems like such a big cheesy sci-fi stretch to me. If you look at Lucas and 47 knowing theyā€™re clones, you can clearly see the resemblance. They arenā€™t just brothers, theyā€™re like. Theyā€™re near exactly the same in appearance (save for the fact that 47ā€™s in much better shape and like. Bald DFHFDJHG). You could argue that Lucas had his face changed to appear to be a clone, but you have to consider that they both have the hand scars from the pact they made as children, the comic confirms Lucas/6ā€™s existence, Lucas has a lot of Ort-Meyer knowledge others donā€™t have, and 47 is remembering Lucas
Any leap past that gets wackier, like...
- Maybe 47 has DOUBLE fake memories from his time in the institute and this has been planned from the beginning? Doesnā€™t seem satisfying nor IOā€™s style, plus it seems rather out of character for 47.
- Ether antidote somehow gave him fake memories? Also nah, seems just too out there/odd/improbableĀ 
So from here, the only thing that I can personally add up and understand in the vein of Lucas being a traitor is the concept of Lucas maybe having a bent concept of like... morality? I can see him maybe getting a bit too over the edge, too bent and obsessed on Providence and taking them down, and somehow talking himself into thinking he and 47 need to be in control of Providence because theyā€™re the only ones that can make things ā€œrightā€. From what Iā€™ve seen, he hasnā€™t exhibited behavior that tells me that in full, but that makes much more sense than him being A Complete Snakeā„¢ because if he was a traitor it would defo be in the ā€œhe fully thinks heā€™s doing the right and good thing for 47ā€
ANYWAY consider this evidence in game:
- Lucas being shown repeatedly to go to great lengths to avoid collateral damage/citizens getting hurt or killed (you can overhear this being talked about on Hawkeā€™s Bay, Columbia (and from Lucas himself in Ricoā€™s office), and I think Colorado, but Iā€™m not sure. Iā€™m sure thereā€™s other locations as well).
- Lucas' genuine concern for Olivia to the point that he gives her her whole own security detail (seen on Colorado, thank u @olliemander for showing me that!!!), as well as the fact that he met her when she was 7 (can somebody say father figure), and she's the only person in the whole militia to have both seen him and know his real name, not even Sean Rose knows his name and those that have seen him have all been killed (Viktor, the Providence member in the cutscene after Sapienza)Ā 
- His seemingly genuine reaction to realizing he killed Diana's parents (seen in the cutscene before SgƔil)
- His seemingly genuine concern over 47's wellbeing after the ether antidote (seen in the cutscene after Whittleton)
- His seemingly genuine reaction to/at the institute (the man is genuinely emotional over it all)
- The Constant's complete bafflement at Lucas' actions-- you can overhear this on SgƔil-- and I suppose you could argue that this is just fake so Edwards and Lucas can play the long con, but that seems unlikely to me
- also this is less of a piece of evidence but still interesting, Lucasā€™ man on the island that gets him the info on the poison chip and the Washington Sisters comes from a genuine NPC you can listen to, who calls Lucas to give him more info and tell him their debt from their old CICADA days is repaid and to just leave him alone now AKJDLFHGKJDFHG
I mean, yeah, it could all be things to mislead us, but I donā€™t think so-- his behavior lines up throughout the years of his life that weā€™ve been shown, and 47 isnā€™t one to blindly trust people.
This leaves the idea that Lucas has been working with Edwards from the start, but that too seems like a long stretch to me-- Lucas seems to hate what he and 47 had to go through (as seen in the comics and just his behavior weā€™ve seen), and he carries that weight (like he mentions in the cutscene before SgĆ”il, and in the Homecoming cutscene). He seems to really struggle with survivorā€™s guilt over his escape from the institute. Plus Lucas doing a double side switch seems a bit Muchā„¢ (but I totally could be wrong akdljfhgkjdgh)
Ultimately tho, here's the thing: I donā€™t think we can solve this puzzle yet, because IO wants us to wait for Hitman 3. What good is it if we bust it before the game comes out?
They did this with the end of the SgƔil mission-- it was a big ominous cliffhanger but then we just sorta scooted along (so they could keep building the story, it was well done IMO)
My most likely theory at the moment is the idea that Edwards is trying to turn 47, Lucas, Diana, and Olivia on each other because he realizes theyā€™re a threat. Bc If Iā€™m real, I currently don't think any of the core group are working with The Constant, which is terrifying, because it means the constant is way more powerful than we thought and way less helpless than we thought he was in his current position. (So that means the text/phone call/whatever Lucas got in the end cutscene was from Edwards posing as someone else like Olivia). Plus, if Diana gets into contact with 47, sheā€™s going to tell him Edwards is gone. If for some reason 47 canā€™t contact her, heā€™s going to be suspicious and on high alert.
Edwards is a scheming, smart dude and I donā€™t doubt him being able to do that at all. He knows Diana and 47 are close and trust each other (ā€œin his own special way, he cares about youā€) and felt the need to mention to her that 47 and Lucas were behind her parentsā€™ deaths-- thatā€™s not just bonus information, he did it for a reason. This also puts his line of ā€œDo you really want to do this to me?ā€ to the Partners in reference to being under scrutiny and needing the poison chip under a SUPER terrifying and ominous light. What sort of power does this man wield?
I would personally love to see Lucas survive these games AKJHSFJGH but I can see the story leading to 47 have to make a call to shoot Lucas (thinking heā€™s a traitor), playing hard against the emotions of it all, especially with the reveal that this was all a set up by The Constant, making 47 go after him with a vengeance. (also not to be angstyā„¢ but can you imagine Lucas and 47 talking after 47ā€™s shot him? Oof ouchy my heart)Ā 
Another possibility I can see is like my friend Synth suggested-- Lucas wanting to go in violently and take it all out on The Constant, while 47 holds him back for tactics sakeĀ 
In terms of Lucas and Edwards working together, sans them planning it from the start, there really wouldā€™ve been no time for Lucas to talk to The Constant between his capture and the departure for the bank. I also canā€™t currently make sense of many reasons why Lucas would side with him and not tell 47 or Olivia
My final idea that plays into the idea of Lucas as a traitor is the idea that, somehow, The Constant is holding Lucas hostage in a way? That if by chance they got to speak to each other, The Constant lorded some threat over Lucas that was serious enough to him to agree to help him (like a threat against 47 or Olivia, etc). Iā€™m not sure though, but the idea is interesting to me :Oc
aNYWAY big olā€™ rant over! Hereā€™s some pics of Lucasā€™ voice actor in Alice and Wonderland enjoy fdjgkhdfkjghkjfh
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spirit-science-blog Ā· 4 years ago
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All hail one of Disneyā€™s only ā€œniceā€ forgotten queens...Kida of Atlantis! For real, sheā€™s one of the only Disney princesses who becomes a queen eventually and retains her goodness and breaks that trope of ā€œevil queens/stepmomsā€ thatā€™s become so infamous...so you know.. suitable on the Atlanteans for embodying love! I mean, hey, even Elsa kind of went into her shadow self for a bit thereā€¦. Anyways, Atlantis is not your typical Disney movie...Thereā€™s no musicals or happy-go-lucky princesses who get helped by forest animals or swoon at princesā€¦ Instead, we get an hour and a half of a nerd exploring ancient temples, translating dusty books, and a badass warrior princess fighting for her people. And of courseā€¦ It's freakin Atlantis, so obviously, weā€™re going to talk about it! Whatā€™s more, under the surface, especially in the design elements, thereā€™s a massive wealth of ancient spirituality that taught an entire generation of kids about lost cities and consciousness for the first timeā€¦
So, spoiler alertā€¦ Atlantis is about a young researcher named Milo who, through the funding of an old family friend - whoā€™s pretty into Yoga, can gather a crew to search for the lost civilization and its mysterious power source. They discover that not only does Atlantis really exist, but that itā€™s still inhabited by people hundreds or thousands of years old who have super-advanced technology and wisdom but have forgotten how to use it since the Cataclysm. But by far, one of the most immediate things that stick with you after watching, though, is that animation and art styleā€¦ along with the design of Atlantis itselfā€¦ It is entirely on par with Plato!
In this movie, the crew finds a civilization bathed in New Age imagery, colors, and idealism, reminiscent of Madame Blavatskyā€™s depictions of the ancient empire. Ancient symbols, especially the ever-present spiral and triangle, are carved into ceremonial stones and painted on masks that resemble the ritual attire of Native Americans -something that Sweet notices early on. And nor was this an accident, for when researching and designing Atlantis, the creators went through every kind of theory imaginable and eventually found the work and readings of Edgar Cayce, the Sleeping Prophet.
According to Cayce, Atlantis was a highly advanced civilization in touch with the higher aspects of themselves and reality and had found a way to integrate consciousness with technology and powered their machines through crystals. To Cayce, Atlantis was a living, breathing spiritual force that existed. Supposedly, they could focus their mental energy on crystals to produce usable energy, which could, in some cases, be used as a weapon. Naturally, when Disney was coming up with concept art, they thought the same thing as all of usā€¦..ā€ well, thatā€™ll look awesome!ā€ and they made it! The giant floaty consciousness crystal was born, and Atlantis was designed around it.
In the movie, Atlantis is presented as the archetypal Mother Civilisation, from which all modern cultures ultimately came. As a result, all of their temples and buildings reflect common styles from everywhere youā€™ve come to expect in the modern worldā€¦ Even their language is based on Proto Indo European, with a dash of Sumerian grammar thrown in! The point is, the creators took the Occult idea of Atlantis and ran with itā€¦ Even the journey there goes through a kind of Hollow Earth - whoopsie, maybe we canā€™t say that without getting demonetizedā€¦ But anyway, all the while being guided by a sacred journal that is pretty reminiscent of Lovecraftā€™s Necronomicon.
The Great Crystal itself holds a massive amount of spiritual wisdom too. Itā€™s a life-giving power-source that energizes all life, lights, and flying vehicles in Atlantis. Each person is connected to this force through a personal crystal amulet worn as a pendantā€¦ which has been ripped off so many timesā€¦ But as the king explains, though, the crystal is way more than just a power source or mechanistic machineā€¦ Itā€™s created by and takes fuel from its people's consciousness and collective emotions, connecting them in one big, living, breathing ā€œheart.ā€
Itā€™s even said that the crystal - and by extent, all the smaller crystals, have a consciousness of their own, making it kind of like a deity. Weirdly though, near the beginning, when Kida speaks to Milo, she refers to ā€œthe gods wiping out Atlantis,ā€ indicating some polytheistic belief system. While this could be a throw-away line, thereā€™s a sense that the Atlantean world view encompassed multiple gods, as well as this understanding of a universal consciousness that connects and guides all people and things.. seemingly blending ancient polytheism with Americanized Buddhism and New Age concepts like the Akashic Records, which contains all of humanity's past collective knowledge. While we have this polytheistic belief system, it is still unified in their source-consciousness-crystal-ma jigger, so itā€™s kind of like a mix or polytheistic-monotheism.
Interestingly, according to background fandom sites, in the lore around 100,000 BC, a giant comet passed over the Earth, and a large fragment broke off and landed in the kingdom. Upon examination, the Atlanteans found that it contained a massive crystal and uncovered the excellent properties it possessed. In time, they built their entire culture, civilization, and empire upon it, connecting with it until it became the Heart Crystal that we see in the movie. Thereā€™s even a theory that it came from the Mystic Isles, which is like another dimension in the Disney Verse where crazy powerful entities live and are the source of all magic, but thatā€™s another video on its own!
One of the more underlying messages of this movie is its commentary on how nature needs to be protected and not put to waste. In the film, the Flood events were caused by the hubris of the king. In his arrogance, he wanted to use the crystal and consciousness as a weapon...which caused significant instability and that big flash we see at the beginning that eventually caused the fall. The manipulation of consciousness into a firearm is pretty similar to Atlantis's story that weā€™ve explored in both the Human History Movie and The Anunnaki Movieā€¦
The King pushed aside the need for the crystal as a life force and used it for a selfish purpose, which only led to ruin. After the flood happened, the King hid the crystal under Atlantis since he didnā€™t want anyone to try and use its power for destructive purposes, and he feared that what happened to his wife would happen to his daughter. By hiding the crystal from sight, the King ignored the past, which ironicallyā€¦.is what the crystal thrives on.
Perhaps there is a message here about the misuse of our consciousness for egotistical gain. In our current, disharmonious state, many of us may act like the King and seek to use our gifts to expand our kingdom rather than genuinely connecting with our hearts and living in balanceā€¦ If the events of the movie are anything to go by, this can only go one way. The crystal, then, can be seen as both a natural source of energy and something sacred. As long as the people respect it, the crystal protects them, gives them power, and provides them with a long lifeā€¦.but as soon as they are disconnected from consciousness, they begin to die. Ahh, I get it! The crystals a metaphor for natureā€¦ or our souls! Or Godā€¦ Or all 3!
Beautifully though, when the king finally faced his shadow, Kida restored the crystal to its proper place in the community, and Atlantis began to thrive again. The message here is pretty clearā€¦.the crystal is the collective consciousness and heart of the Atlantians and reflects our consciousness too. We should use this power within us with respect and not use it to harm others. In this way, we can thrive as a species, but if we hide our spirit under the surface and ignore it, or even worseā€¦ Try to mechanize it in our arrogance, and it could lead to our ruin. Ā 
This dual nature is shown pretty well at the beginning and end, coming full circle. When Milo first meets Kida, he has a cut on his chest that she heals by touching him with her crystal, ultimately coming from a place of love...but at the end, when Milo is fighting Rourke, he cuts him with a piece of the main crystal and turns him into Crystal-stein...maybe the crystal was tapping into the intention behind its users?
In the work of the Theosophist Alice Bailey, who the team also drew on for inspiration for the artwork, she tells us that ā€œduring the time of Atlantis there was a tremendous battle on the astral between the Forces of Light, who wanted to lift human evolution out of materialism and separateness, and the involuntary Forces of Darkness, who wanted to enslave human will and more deeply immerse humanity in the matter,ā€ which is what she argued was the cause of the fall. Itā€™s quite keen than that Milo's final battle is against the heartless materialism of two bad teammates who had stolen the Crystal to sell on the black market..itā€™s an excellent little work that the team did...not only are some egotistical humans trying to lock the crystal-force away and sell it..but theyā€™re ultimately defeated, only to have the crystal soar into the sky and be free in all its glory.
Now, of course...we canā€™t do a video on Atlantis without mentioning Kida.. you know, one of the best Disney princess ever who has been criminally underrated. By the end, she becomes a semi-ascended master, bonding her consciousness to the crystal and going all glowy and holy and becoming a being of pure energy. In a time of great need, the crystal can choose a host to channel its power and protect the kingdom, which sounds an awful lot like Thothā€™s ship underneath the Sphinx, but hey, I digress.
Kida embodies the divine feminine in her romantic nature, going to her father to broach new ideas about how to save their culture and has a perfect balance of the sacred masculine and isn't afraid to put her thoughts into action. With Milo, she forms a pretty good creator team that brings consciousness back to the peopleā€¦ In the end, the glowing, energy princess floats down from the skies in a beam of light and melts into Milo's arms where she regains consciousness and her human formā€¦ just in time to see a civilization reborn and thriving againā€¦ the result of honoring our divine selves.
Isnā€™t it funny how, after all of it, Kida gives away that whole mountain of treasure to Miloā€™s crew and helps them back to the surfaceā€¦ not like the Atlantean economy would need any gold, right?... But, interestingly, the real treasure Kida and Milo value is knowledge, so much so that Milo even stays behind to help the Atlanteans re-learn their cultureā€¦ which is fantastic cause one of the opening scenes of Atlantis II - not as good btw, but still fun... shows a school teaching the language..so we know he succeeds. Most of the temples seem to be a blend of East Asian and Mayan architecture too, which not only links the story to the Maya themselves, the supposed Atlantean priesthood but also helps get that picture of Greek columns and temples out of your head, which was one of the original intentions behind the design.
Bringing this to a close, if you ever wanted to see a faithful reproduction of the New Age idea of Atlantis, then this is like the perfect movie to go and watch...and while it didnā€™t do great at the box office, it has kind of become a cult classicā€¦. and Tom Holland might star as Milo in a live-action remake. Heā€™s also playing Nathan Drake in the Uncharted movie. What?! This story's message of exploration, adventure, inclusion, and the importance of living in harmony with our consciousness are all lessons that kids learned early on by watching this, and that you can too. While some Bible moms have tried to point out hidden Illuminati or Freemason symbols in it, like the All-Seeing Eye and Quartered Circle, the ultimate lessons of this movie are ones of love, compassion, and caution of hubris and putting our ego above a community.
The whole nature of this movie is even funnier when you read Norma Milanovich and Shirley McCuneā€™s works that argued that Walt Disney himself was a newly Ascended Master whose mission on Earth was to create an awareness of the elementals, the animals, and to integrate the existence of such kingdoms into human consciousnessā€¦ While we donā€™t know about that..itā€™s pretty fun to think about. Maybe Disneyā€™s Atlantis was more in line with Waltā€™s vision than everyone realized! So until next time, Pah geh sheh nelekh, Gah Moak!
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bern33chaser Ā· 6 years ago
Text
What is an Anagram?
To create an anagram, you rearrange the letters of a word or phrase to form a different word or phrase. For example, the word section is an anagram for notices and vice versa. A ā€œperfectā€ anagram uses all the letters, no more, no less. But sometimes letters are repeated or omitted. Before the modern alphabet was formalized, let alone modern spelling, anagrams could be less formal too, since I and J or U and V were still interchangeable.
The anagram has a long and honorable literary history. The ancient Greeks called anagrams themuru (changing) and searched for mystic insights into people and their futures by rearranging the letters of their names. As a micro literary genre, the anagram challenges a writer to describe a person, place or thing using only the letters in its name. Several writers, including Voltaire, created pseudonyms or pen names by making anagrams of their real names.
Playing with anagrams
Anagrams make good puzzles and games, such as in Scrabble, Upwords, or Words With Friends. You can use letter tiles from those games to play a game called Anagrams, which has been popular since the Victorian age, using a variety of rules. Jumble, That Scrambled Word Game is syndicated in more than 600 U.S. newspapers each day, where unscrambling a set of five- and six-letter anagrams leads to the solution, usually a pun. Scrabble players often start each turn by trying to forming anagrams from the seven letters they hold.
For one common anagram game, the point is to see how many anagrams you can make from a single word. For example, from the seven letters in rescued, you can make recused, reduces, seducer, and secured, using each letter exactly once. If you leave out letters, you can also form six-letter words such as deuces, screed and crudes, five-letter words such as curds, suede, and reeds, or four-letter words such as deer, seed, and user. If you use letters more than once, you can also make decrees, recused and erred.
Especially because they were viewed mystically, anagrams had political significance. The day before the end of a long siege of the city of Tyre in 332 BC, Alexander the Great told his favorite seer Aristander that he had dreamed about a satyr, a nature spirit often depicted as half horse, half man. Aristander replied that the dream about a satyros must mean ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½sa Tyrosā€ ā€“ ā€œTyre is yours.ā€ In 1617, French anagrammatist Thomas Billon published a book titled The omens of the happiness of the king, and of France. The king, who was Louis XIII (the 13th), must have liked the book, because he appointed Billon as Royal Anagrammatist in 1624, tasked with creating more of the same ā€“ prophetic anagrams, anagrams of famous names, and humorous anagrams.
Mystic anagrams
Anagrams have been important in Jewish and Christian literature, even used in the Bible, such as in Isaiah 61:3. Beginning about the 2nd century, some Talmudic and Midrashic scholars made anagrams the key to a method of interpreting the Bible, called ā€œinversions.ā€ At first, these scholars rearranged letters, then later rearranged complete words to find deeper meanings in the Scriptures. A thousand years after that, Jewish Cabalists were writing anagrams on amulets, and like the Greeks, sought secret meanings in the anagrams of proper names. Medieval Christian anagrammatists turned the biblical question ā€œQuid est veritas?ā€ into an answer: ā€œEst qui vir adest.ā€
During the 17th century, scientists would use anagrams to announce new discoveries. That is, they would publish an anagram when they made a tentative discovery, then announce the solution to the anagram once they could confirm their discovery. In 1610, after viewing Saturn through a fuzzy telescope he had made, the Italian astronomer Galileo Galilei mailed his colleagues an anagram.
smaismrmilmepoetaleumibunenugttauiras
That means nothing to you and me, but if another astronomer later claimed that Saturn has a bump on either side, Galileo could say, ā€œIsnā€™t that what I told you in 1610? Didnā€™t I specifically say ā€œAltissimum planetam tergeminum observaviā€ (ā€œI have observed the most distant planet to have a triple formā€)?
In 1655, Christiaan Huygens built a much better telescope than Galileo, and saw that what looked like two bumps was really a disc or ring around Saturn. So he published his own anagram.
aaaaaaacccccdeeeeeghiiiiiiillllmmnnnnnnnnnooooppqrrstttttuuuuu
Huygensā€™s anagram didnā€™t win any points for wit or wisdom, but alphabetizing it made it harder to decrypt his cryptic encryption: ā€œAnnuto cingitur, tenui, plano, nusquam coherente, ad eclipticam inclinatoā€ (ā€œIt is surrounded by a thin, flat ring, nowhere touching, inclined to the ecliptic.ā€)
In 1678, no doubt during a anagram fad, poet John Dryden described anagrams as the ā€œtorturing of one poor word ten thousand ways.ā€ The anagram had a Victorian literary revival in the 19th century, exemplified by clever anagrams that commented on their source. Under the pen of Lewis Carroll, the mathematician who wrote Alice in Wonderland,, pioneering nurse Florence Nightingale became ā€œFlit on, cheering angel.ā€ British Prime Minister William Ewart Gladstone became ā€œA wild man will go at trees.ā€
Anagrams in the 21st century
Today a computer can make anagrams using what is sometimes called a ā€œjumble algorithmā€ to find all possible combinations of letters and then compare them to a dictionary. You can find several anagram solvers online, such as the WordFinder. Provide it with a sequence of letters (up to fourteen) and click ā€œScramble!ā€ to see the words that can be made from those letters ā€“ sometimes more than a thousand. More than 460 words can be created from the letters ā€œdailywritingā€ (including dignitary, daringly, and tailwind) and almost 175 from the letters ā€œwritingtipsā€ (including spiriting, wingtips, wising, and stint). Of course, a human writer is better than a computer program at picking puns, parodies, praises, and other clever combinations, so nobody has created a virtual Lewis Carroll yet.
The Manythings website for English language learners includes lists of everyday vocabulary words that are also anagrams. What is another word you can make from the letters in kitchen? Or from vases? Click the ā€œAnswerā€ button to check your solution. As usual, the Wikipedia article on anagrams gives more background on the subject.
Creating and solving anagrams helps improve your vocabulary and keeps your mind sharp. Like any writing restriction, anagrams can spur creativity by giving you only a certain number of letters to write with. If one of them is Q, that definitely limits the places your mind needs to go to find the right word.
You are subscribed to the free version, which is delivered only twice per week, contains ads and doesn't include exercises. Pro subscribers receive our tips daily, with no ads and with interactive exercises. Click here to activate your Pro subscription today! Check our latest YouTube video and subscribe to our channel: 10 Rules for Writing Numbers and Numerals
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Original post: What is an Anagram? from Daily Writing Tips https://www.dailywritingtips.com/what-is-an-anagram/
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fragiilexa Ā· 8 years ago
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identity askā€¦ā€¦ā€¦oh shitĀ  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā ACCEPTING
1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?
Hm, well I guess this is three questions omg but Iā€™ll just go down the line. If they wanted to really understand me theyā€™d have to read the Bible, which I know is saying a lot in one thing. But the reason I am the way I am is because of the things Iā€™ve learned from that book and I would not be who I am without it. Of course I actually havenā€™t been able to read the whole thing yet but I take a lot of who I am from it & itā€™s just something thatā€™s shaped me as a person? Oh but also I really donā€™t read books much anymore, but if I had to give another one it would be The Last Song? Maybe? ( The book is better than the movie, even tho I like the movie, the books better ) It just talks a lot about forgiveness & stuff and it was a lesson I really needed to learn at the time I read it & also am still learning. OH and also Crazy Love by Francis Chan, which is like a christian book, but itā€™s also had a huge impact on me, okay but onto watchinā€™.
Okay this is hard because there isnā€™t one full thing you could watch where the wholeĀ thing has impacted me. But there are a lot of movies Iā€™ve learned from, ( and also since this doesnā€™t say specifically movies ) there are also a few speeches that Iā€™ve really learned from ( and people would probably be able to understand me better if they watched them. But I canā€™t name those right now? But, Iā€™d have to say, like, not as a whole, but Dr. Who, at least some specific episodes. Uh, Captain America?? The Help? There are more but I have a hard time naming movies/shows.
Okay and then music, fricken music, okay I could put so so so so many songs down, songs are like the soul of my life & help make me, me BUT Iā€™m just going to give you ONE because if I didnā€™t this would go on forever and TWO itā€™s kind of my theme song but I Was Here, by the queen Beyonce. Is like, hands down my favorite *what makes me, me* song. I could name a lotĀ more. I could make a 24 hour long playlist. But I wonā€™t bc that would take forever.Ā 
2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?
Yes, There have been a few and most of them are not on anymore but, Kae I think I can solidly say we think very similarly on just, like, how to develop muses, how to work out characters and how REAL theyā€™re supposed to be, you know? Characters can, and should have flaws and no one has tons of perfect relationships. Real life is messy & writing should reflect that & I think we are just hella synced with that message & feeling and sheā€™s just lovely so yeah @spookylip is bae & we think alike ( obviously bc we took those selfies that matched wITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ) we are #one
3.Ā list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.
Girl Meets World: Riley Matthews.Glee: Tina Cohen - Chang.Marvel: Captain America, Steve Rogers.Hamilton: Eliza or Peggy SchyulerDisney: HeiHei ( no just kidding ) Moana,Ā Princess Anna, Rapunzel,Harry Potter: Newt ScamanderStar Wars: FinnMy Little Pony: ( donā€™t u dare judge ) FlutterShyTwilight: Alice Cullen
4.Ā do you like your name? Ā is there another name you think would fit you better?
Okay so I used to not like my name so muchĀ ļæ½ļæ½cause it was really bland & there were a lot of other girls named rebecca when I was in school, then people started calling me rachel so it was likeĀ ā€˜my name is totally forgettableā€™ ( or i was i dunno ) but over the past few years Iā€™ve started to love it, though someone ruINED the meaning of it for me *side eyes that kinky anon* but I donā€™t really care & I love my name now, just, never ever call me becky or I will murder u in ur sleep. :))))
5.Ā do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?
I was slightly confused reading this but I re-read it & now I get it. I think at the moment, or for the longest time Iā€™ve been a human being, like, there are just no opportunities right now for me to be doing what others my age are, or even younger than me. Not only that but I have to work on a lot of anxieties of mine, but that being said I donā€™t think Iā€™m doing nothing. What Iā€™m doing is small, yeah, but I try to do the best I can with what I have & I have a lot of faith that things happen for a reason & right now Iā€™m keeping things going in my family & trying to better myself, no matter how many downsides that has, sort of. & I do Identify myself by the things I do, mostly because in doingĀ something you have the opportunity to help someone. I try to do the right things, sometimes I do, sometimes I donā€™t but itā€™s a daily thing, yā€™know?
6.Ā are you religious/spiritual?
Yah. You can see that with some of my answers but I am, though I know right now a lot of people assume that if youā€™re religious ( especially christian, on this site at least ) that it automatically means youā€™re this, this & thisĀ *insert any form of ism or phobic term* but thatā€™s really not how it works. Weā€™re all sinners & no matter what that still doesnā€™t change the way God feels about us ( no matter what, we, as humans think is sin, or sinful ) I could go on a lot about this topic, honestly itā€™s a big part of who I am. But personally, I love God, I have a personal relationship with him that I try to work on daily & grow with him daily, my God is all loving and I just wished more people my age, or at least people on here knew that?? I dunno, thereā€™s just so much rhetoric surrounding Christianity & most of it is wrong & I just??? Mmmm Iā€™m getting off topic but yes! I am! Itā€™s like a huge part of what keeps me going, I love Jesus.
7.Ā do you care about your ethnicity?
YES. Oh my Gosh yeah, okay well Iā€™m white, lmao, but where I come from is still like, really important to me. It used to not be. I actually used to be kind ofā€¦ not ashamedĀ but embarrassed when my Mom did really dutch things. Like, ok backing up, My grandpa moved here from the Netherlands when he was in his early teens around the time that the holocaust happened, though I couldnā€™t give you the exact date because Iā€™m hella forgetful but he came with his parents and he met my Grandma and u know the deal it goes down the line. But anyways I used to like, not like the things that came with being dutch, like, I just thought it was all stupid & silly, like clogs & doilies & stupid little things like my great grandma & grandpa always used to use forks & knives with everythingĀ because it was a custom where they came from & like, itā€™s all small things but over the years Iā€™ve just learned to be really proud of where my family came from? My Grandpa went through a lot to come here, he saw a lot of things he never talked about and I didnā€™t know him well because I was young when he died but I just really love embracing my heritage there & stuff.Ā 
Like Iā€™m white yes, and Iā€™m basically aĀ ā€˜mystery whiteā€™Ā ā€˜cause my dad is a mutt Ā & my mom isnā€™t fully dutch either. Iā€™m one of those 10% Irish 25% Hungarian 50% Dutch & 15% otherĀ type of whites, but??? Iā€™m still proud of all of it?? Like I love learning about where I came from & who I am & I think everyone should be proud of all parts of their ethnicity. As Matthew Montgomery said:Ā ā€œ Love all your percentages.Ā ā€œ Ā 
8.Ā what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?
shiT fam, this is getting so long & itā€™s gonna get longer, okay let me just do likeā€¦ two, tha two topsā€¦
Demi Lovato: Obviously, I meanā€¦ obviouslyĀ She is one of the people I look up to most and I donā€™t know where I would be if I never had her & her music in my life. Sheā€™s taught me so much about strength and confidence and overcoming something when it looks like it will be impossible. Sheā€™s helpped me grow into someone who cares & wants to learn & help others and I just admire her so much for what sheā€™s done, for herself, for others and for never giving up when she could have. Not to mention the ballads that have helped me through really hard times, or the speeches sheā€™s given that remind me Iā€™m strong & capableĀ 
Taylor Swift: *que everyone groaning whoā€™s reading* anYWAYS I canā€™t even honestly write down or explain how many times that Taylor and her music has helped me when I felt like I wanted to give up, or how many times I have cried listening to songs that should not have resonated with me but did. Sheā€™s helped me to realize not only that I am important but that no matter what, despite what people may do to me, or make me feel that Iā€™m still important and worth working on. Sheā€™s also shown me what goofing off can do to make you feel better, how not giving a shit has helped me move on from past relationships and how beingĀ unapologeticallyĀ ME is okay
In fact, I feel like Demiā€™s taught me those things too. But theyā€™ve both done it in different ways, which I think shows how beautifulĀ loving yourself can be. Because you donā€™t have to love yourself how another person loves themselves. You have to figure out your own, unique way to view yourself & believe in yourself & love yourself & I think thatā€™s just really beautiful. Now, they both hate each other ( or at least severely dislike one another ) butĀ I just feel like theyā€™ve both done so much for me and I donā€™t think I could thank either of them enough for showing me strength, beauty, confidence and love in the way they have. Itā€™s insane how much of an impact people can have but they have. I could go on but I woont I promise.
9.Ā are you an artist?
YES I am, though my skill can be debated I loveĀ drawing when Iā€™m in the mood & painting & jst everythingĀ that has to do with art.Ā 
10.Ā do you have a creed?
I donā€™t know if this means religious, orā€¦ otherwiseā€¦ but I mean, technically Iā€™m a baptist christian ( i think? not sure anymore ) but like, I am Christian, I feel like, sadly, the beliefs I hold are a bit left leaning & less erm, strict? When it comes to how I interpret the bible, where as a my family is different, I think? I donā€™t know, but I just try to follow the teachings of Jesus & his disciples. ā€œĀ Love others as I have loved you - John 15:12 ā€œ I do go by other teachings but I think thatā€™s the top of my list. Jesus loves us unconditionally, he died for us, lived for us, and rose again so we didnā€™t have to burn up in hell for eternity. The least I can do is show everyone the same kind of unconditional love heā€™s showed me throughout my life & make sure people know that though we do sin & are inherently badĀ at heart, he still loves us despite our downfalls and doubt. I donā€™t know if that really answers this question butĀ I had to look up creed & this is the best answer I came up with SO, thank u for sending this in and I love u
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