#it is 2:38am but that’s fine
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its so funny how half my dash rn is either “starting tsc now!” or “just finished tsc!”
anyway. i’m starting tsc now 🫡
#i won’t lb but when i finish i will inevitably have thoughts and desires to rb posts#so filter tsc spoilers to avoid !!#it is 2:38am but that’s fine
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I wouldn't mind reader more about Saint Peter and Redeemed!Reader adventures in heaven.
Maybe you could write about their first date? First kiss?
Maybe Redeemed!Reader has a nightmare about their 2nd death and Saint Peter comforts them?
Maybe some jealous Saint Peter? Someone tries to flirt with Redeemed!Reader and Saint Peter get a little possessive over them? Like wraps one of his wings around them, protecting them?
Not sure you'd be up for making smut for this pairing, but that would be nice as well. :)
hihi ! I decided to go for the nightmare one since I love torturing reader 🤭🤭
I told myself this one was gonna be rlly short because my brain was just lacking juices but here we are again over 1k words and yet ?? I still rushed half of it between my overwatch deaths and games 😭
cw: reader death mention, nightmares and by extension ptsd, tooth rotting fluff lowkey
word count: 1.2k
part 1 part 2 part 4
Delicate (Saint Peter x Redeemed!Reader)
Chills ran up your spine as the scene replayed itself before you.
All you could feel was the stab of the trident magnified by a million. It was torturous, and yet the scene had replayed every night since your arrival in Heaven. You couldn't escape it, causing you to spend many sleepless nights, drinking coffees, going on walks. Anything to resist falling asleep, afraid of your death haunting you.
Said sleepless nights were taking a toll on you, everywhere you went, you'd see the executioner in the corner of your eye, causing your heart to drop.
You would doze off in the middle of dates with Peter, meetings with Emily, at your job. Everywhere you went were reminders of that dreadful day.
Sure, you could talk to Sir Pentious about it, but the guilt of making him remember his own death ate you alive, but the passing glances the two of you would share could say a million words, the bags under his eyes just as visible as yours.
It didn't take long for Peter to notice something was up with you, especially with how you froze up when Lute passed by the two of you in the Plaza, scowl evident on her face.
At first, he just suspected it to be you just being afraid of her due to the battle, but witnessing your paranoia get the better of you just made him feel stupid.
Offering you a small "Are you okay?" he frowned, he always had faith in you and believed in you, to see his love this dishevelled, it freaked him out. You were always a stronger person than he would ever be, in all means of the word.
"I'm fine..." Is all you could utter, it was only a phase, something you would get over, right? You could overcome it on your own, that's what you believed.
Peter could only nod and say "If you do need me, at any time, you know where to find me."
Tonight was one of those nights again, in your exhaustion, the fluffy pillows, the oversized duvet, the memory foam mattress, it enticed you into its warm and loving arms, enveloping you as you drifted off to sleep for the first time in days.
The nightmare, your past reality played in your mind once again. The sharp stab of the strident, the smug smirk upon the executioner's face.
Everything was perfectly recalled.
With a sob, you awoke yourself, sweating and shaking as all you could do was hold yourself, sitting up and pulling your knees up to your chest.
Glancing towards your digital clock upon your side desk, your first step of grounding yourself was checking the time which resulted in an unsurprising 2:38am.
Sniffling, you picked up your phone, quickly dialling Peter's phone number.
It took a few rings for him to pick up, and when he uttered out a groggy "Hello?" It wasn't hard to tell that you had just woken him from blissful slumber. The thought only made your guilt bubble up inside you, internally debating whether or not to hang up then and there to let him be. This was a pathetic reason to call someone, anyways.
But you couldn't bring yourself to, sniffling down the microphone as you fought against your will to speak. It was as if your words were lodged in your throat, as if speaking would kill you once again.
“...Peter” You weakly whispered.
Well that certainly woke him up, his tone of voice switching from gruelling grogginess to concern.
“Hey? Hey! Are you alright?? Are you crying? Oh my goodness, do you want me to come over, is that alright?” Quite the rambler he was, but at least his intentions were always pure at heart.
“Please?”
“I'll be right there, unlock the door for me, alright?”
And with that he hung up, hurriedly making his way over to your house.
Deciding your room was far too dangerous to stay in right now, you opted to listen to Peter, heading down to the door and unlocking it before situating yourself on the sofa, blanket wrapped around you.
Too lost in your own thoughts, you hadn’t noticed your friend? boyfriend? — You didn't know the two of you hadn't made it official yet — enter the house, crouching down in front of you. It was only when he placed one of his hands upon yours did you notice him.
You were a mess, it was hard to miss, hair stuck to your forehead, tangled and knotted, dried tear tracks down your cheek, and yet Peter looked at you with all the fondness in the world, as if you were the most gorgeous person to grace the three realms.
“You're okay now,” His voice instantly soothed you to your core, being around Peter always seemed to do that. “I'll make some tea,” He stood, but before he could turn on his heel,
"Don't leave.." You whispered, catching his hand with your own as you glanced up at him with glossy eyes.
With his gaze, ever so gentle, he smiled down at you, taking your other hand, pulling you up into a hug.
It was warm, full of emotions. Peter's adoration for you, and you for him, but the sadness of your nightmare, of your trauma lingered, evident by your shaking from as tears started to slip once more.
Peter rubbed your back in an attempt to soothe you. He didn't dare let you go, only allowing you to break the hug first, Lord knows that you needed it, who knows how long it had been since you got a hug in the first place.
You didn't know how long the hug lasted, and didn't care to know either, the hug felt like home, like you were always meant to be there in Peter's arms. Eventually, you did pull away, “Thank you.”
“At a time like this, there's no reason to thank me whatsoever, c'mon you want some tea?” You shook your head in response, Peter's presence was enough, and besides you felt the sweet embrace of sleep calling your name.
With a yawn, you spoke at ease for the first time that night, “Come to bed with me?” Causing Peter to smile, “Of course.”
You could feel yourself longing for his touch still, deciding to link your pinkie finger with his, craving any sort of touch, any proof that Peter was in fact here with you.
You led him up to your bedroom, a little nervous, you'd yet to fully decorate your room to your desires, so the walls were looking a little bare and there were some clothes scattered across the floor, but Peter didn't mind at all, it only humanised you in his eyes.
“Do you want me to stay?”
“Of course I do, you've helped me so much and just… you bring me a lot of comfort Peter.. Besides, you can scare away the nightmares if they return.” A small childlike jest, but knowing Peter, he would kick that nightmare’s ass if he could.
“Oh,” you continued, not before taking a big yawn “I'll tell you about it all in the morning, just hold me for tonight please.” You sat yourself on your bed, pulling Peter besides you with what sleepy strength you could muster.
It didn't take long to grow comfortable, laying yourself between Peter's arms. Sleep quickly took over your senses, but not before you could hear the angel utter out a quiet
“I love you.”
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#saint peter x reader#hazbin hotel saint peter#hazbin hotel saint peter x you#hazbin hotel saint peter x reader#saint peter x you#saint peter x yn#blitzor0de0
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How about Webgott + love letters, for Valentine's day :)
greetings!! i stared at this prompt for Forever, and was trying to write it in an Organic and Normal way. and it turns out that the Organic and Normal way for me to write this was modern exes webgott. so although i’m sure it wasn’t exactly what you were thinking, i hope you enjoy <3
~
Sun, Feb 4, 9:38AM
From: [email protected]
Subject: Books
Web -
You forgot your collection at my house. It’s all Dostoevsky, which I knew you did on purpose, idiot. You know I can’t stand that fucker, and you took all of the Vonnegut with you.
Come back and get your books before I burn them all.
- Joe
//
Sun, Feb 4, 2:19PM
From: [email protected]
Re: Books
Joe -
You have my phone number. Just text me. What if I don’t have time to check my email?
I’ll pick up my books at 6.
- David
//
Sun, Feb 4, 6:01PM
From: [email protected]
Re: Books
Web -
You always check your email. At least five times a day. Don’t lie to me. And I don’t want to have to compete with your goddamn spam texts, I know you forget to delete them.
P.S. You’re late.
- Joe
——————
Fri, Feb 9, 3:06AM
From: [email protected]
Subject: Journal
I can’t find my journal. The one from August to November? Can you see it at your place? I need it.
//
Fri, Feb 9, 3:41AM
From: [email protected]
Re: Journal
It was in your nightstand. You didn’t think to clear that out?
Go to sleep. It’s ass in the morning.
//
Fri, Feb 9, 4:13AM
From: [email protected]
Re: Journal
Can I come by and pick it up before Public Speaking? And you’re the one that responded.
//
Fri, Feb 9, 4:39AM
From: [email protected]
Re: Journal
Public Speaking starts at 10, I’m at work by 6. You know where the key is.
You’re the one that emailed in the first place. I can’t believe you didn’t just text.
//
Fri, Feb 9, 5:01AM
From: [email protected]
Re: Journal
You’re so old I thought a text would confuse you.
——————
Mon, Feb 12, 9:03AM
From: [email protected]
Subject: Journalist
Why did I just get called by a guy about a sports journal? The fuck are you up to?
//
Mon, Feb 12, 12:41PM
From: [email protected]
Re: Journalist
Don’t worry about it.
//
Mon, Feb 12, 12:52PM
From: [email protected]
Re: Journalist
Web, he has my contact info. If you get crazy-insane murdered so do I. Did you do something?
//
Mon, Feb 12, 1:13PM
From: [email protected]
Re: Journalist
Don’t be a doomsday planner. He’s not a murderer. I just went out with him one time. It didn’t end great.
//
CALL FROM: JOE (DON’T)
February 12, 1:27PM
“Yeah?”
“What the hell did you do?”
“What — Jesus, Joe, is this about the guy? It’s fine—”
“Yeah, see, that doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence that you didn’t do something stupid—”
“I already told you, I just went out with him. To dinner.”
“When?”
“I… I don’t have to tell you that.”
“Yes, the fuck you do, because if—”
“Oh, what, you expect me to say I went on a fucking date with him when we were still together? Get over yourself, Joe, it was five days ago—”
“I didn’t say that! I did not say that—”
“And why the hell do you care, anyways? We broke up in December, okay—”
“Jesus, that was only two months ago—”
“It was three, and that’s plenty of time—”
“I’m just saying, you won’t catch me going out with—”
“Because no one can stand your crotchety ass—”
“Oh, but they can stand yours?”
“I — Jesus fuck. I’m hanging up. He only called you because he saw your name and thought it was a different Joe. I’ve gotta get to class. I’ll see you—”
“Wait, wait, Web—”
“I’m not even going out with him again, I just was thinking about the fourteenth. I’ll see you around, okay?”
“David — fuck.”
//
Mon, Feb 12, 6:34PM
From: [email protected]
Re: Journalist
I shouldn’t have pushed that far. That’s my bad.
——————
Wed, Feb 14, 5:28PM
From: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
Can you come pick me up?
//
Wed, Feb 14, 5:37PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Are you okay? Are you hurt?
Where are you?
//
Wed, Feb 14, 5:31PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Outside of Delancey’s bar.
//
Wed, Feb 14, 5:32PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Please don’t call me.
//
(DRAFTED EMAIL - UNSENT)
Wed, Feb 14, 5:33PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
I couldn’t stand to hear your voice right now.
//
Wed, Feb 14, 5:42PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
I’m on my way. Stay where you are.
——————
Sat, Mar 23, 1:18AM
From: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
I miss you, I think.
//
Sat, Mar 23, 1:23AM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Finally giving in to just emailing, huh?
Go to sleep, kid.
//
Sat, Mar 23, 1:29AM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
I understand it, now.
It’s less personal.
You have to think more about what you say.
And you’re not asleep, either.
Thank you for picking me up last month.
//
Sat, Mar 23, 1:53AM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
I thought you wanted a clean break, after that. That’s what you said at the bar.
//
Sat, Mar 23, 2:02AM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
I think that once your ex picks your shitfaced ass up from a bar because he got an email, there’s no such thing as a clean break.
I think I’m just delusional.
//
Sat, Mar 23, 2:10AM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Well, I never said you weren’t.
But it seemed like we might have made it, in this go around. It’s been almost a month since we last talked.
//
Sat, Mar 23, 2:18AM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Well, in the words of one of the best movies of all time: I just can’t quit you.
//
Sat, Mar 23, 2:32AM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Eugh.
——————
CALL FROM: WEB
April 6, 8:52PM
“You know, he almost broke his nose here.”
“Yeah, I do know, Web, ‘cause everyone knows that. There’s not an American alive that doesn’t know that.”
“Mm. I like this scene.”
“What, the making out? Or did the TV’s go outta sync again?”
“No, the making out. Both do a good job at the… the emotion. The desperation, I guess.”
“Mm.”
“Are you eating something? I hear chewing.”
“What are you, a cop? Can a man not eat a toblerone while watching a movie?”
“No, you can, it’s just — you’re chewing right into the receiver, Joe, it’s gross—”
“Alright, alright, I’ll put it down. See? No more chewing. Enjoy your gay cowboy movie.”
“If I recall correctly, you’re also watching the gay cowboy movie.”
“Only because it was on! And I would’ve turned it off if you didn’t call me.”
“If I didn’t — you called me!”
“Yeah, yeah, believe what you wanna believe.”
——————
Thur, April 18, 11:27PM
From: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
I think we’re better as friends.
//
Thur, April 18, 12:09PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
What makes you say that?
//
Thur, April 18, 12:31PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
It’s just.
I can’t be the only one that thinks that we get along about a thousand times better now then we did for the entire time we dated. I mean, you would have NEVER watched a Wes Anderson film with me if we were still together.
And we talk way more too, I think. Because of the emails, maybe.
//
Thur, April 18, 12:54PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Well, first off, the reason we talk way more is because of the emails. Because you don’t delete those spam texts and have no filter and are therefore near impossible to reach.
Second off, we still get along terribly, fuck you.
But I can understand parts of that. We’re still seeing each other just as much as when we were together, I’d say. Now you’re just half an hour away, though. Much shorter distance.
//
Thur, April 18, 1:08PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
Do you think we’d still be together? If we hadn’t been long distance for so long?
And I’m just saying. You never would have agreed with me on any of this if we’d still been doing the whole dog and pony show. You just don’t have the bone in your head that says to be nice to people.
//
Thur, April 18, 1:19PM
From: [email protected]
Re: (no subject)
I disagree with you on everything just on principle.
——————
Fri, May 3, 7:12PM
From: [email protected]
Subject: The New Deal
I want to propose something.
//
Fri, May 3, 7:39PM
From: [email protected]
Re: The New Deal
You get five sentences.
//
Fri, May 3, 7:57PM
From: [email protected]
Re: The New Deal
If neither of us is married by forty, we marry each other.
//
Fri, May 3, 9:02PM
From: [email protected]
Re: The New Deal
That is the most stereotypical bullshit I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
And I’ll be forty in five years, you’ve got a while. How in the hell does that even work?
//
Fri, May 3, 9:23PM
From: [email protected]
Re: The New Deal
It works in normal marriage ways, idiot.
And that’s why I was thinking about it, anyways. You’re 40 in 5 years, I’m 40 in 12 years, we just split the difference and get married in 7 years. Avoid a lot of hassle.
//
Fri, May 3, 9:44PM
From: [email protected]
Re: The New Deal
When you say you were thinking about it, it makes you sound like this is a pity marriage thing. Which is weird, by the way. I don’t think that’s how it works, anyways. That’s more of a heterosexual friends who are scared they’ll die alone sort of deal. Real platonic like.
//
Fri, May 3, 10:01PM
From: [email protected]
Re: The New Deal
This isn’t a pity marriage thing! I just think that it’s something to consider. Unless one of us gets hitched in the next 7 years, it doesn’t seem like a half bad plan.
//
Fri, May 3, 10:19PM
From: [email protected]
Re: The New Deal
Oh, I have plenty of issues with this plan.
But fine. We’ll get pity-married in 7 years. You’ll be a child bride.
//
Fri, May 3, 10:34PM
From: [email protected]
Re: The New Deal
I’ll be 33, dickhead.
——————
CALL FROM: JOE
May 19, 9:54AM
“The German dog tags are a nice touch.”
“Mm. ‘s an interesting movie. I like this part, though. It’s incredibly violent.”
“Yeah, I figured. I dragged this fucking DVD across the country and rented a DVD player from the hotel to sync this movie with you, and get such wonderful comments as I like that it’s violent.”
“Well, I do! Nothing much to add there, really. D’you have anything smart to say, jackass?”
“You’re chewing into the receiver again. And not at this particular scene, though. I just like Eli Roth in this movie.”
“Hm. Figures. Want me to start bashing people's heads in with a bat? I could be the Bear Jew.”
“No one could be the Bear Jew. I’m sorry to tell you this. You don’t have the flair. Or the height.”
“Oh, go straight for the jugular, why don’t you—”
“It’s true! You’re chewing, again.”
“How’s everything going?”
“Ugh. Fine. I hate these fucking tours.”
“I know. That’s why I delight in them so much.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Do you still want me to pick you up from the airport?”
“...yeah. I can’t get anyone else to do it.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll spare you the humiliation of having to be picked up by your ex. I’ll wear a hat and sunglasses. Send me the information.”
“Oh, yack it up, asshole. And I’ll email you.”
“Fine. Remember to make sure it has a fucking subject, I hate it when you do that.”
“Shut up. I’m trying to watch this.”
“Mm. But you’ll still email me?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll still email you, Lieb.”
#rie writes#making up email handles took years off my life btw. legit nearly killed me#also i know this is Off and i'm sorry!! hope ya... like?#for some reason with this i was like hmmmmmm. i have Never written words in my life#anyways. this is queued which doesn't really matter but seems important to mention#band of brothers#webgott#david webster#joe liebgott#hbo war
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SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12TH, 2020- 5:24PM // SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13TH, 2020 - 2:38AM // next | tw: alcohol, horny bird pt. 2
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13TH, 2020 - 2:38AM
“Cheater!” Kei exclaims, scattering several UNO cards across the floor, “You’re -hic- cheating.”
He pouts dramatically, throwing himself against the living room carpet. This childish display has you cackling. Perhaps he’s a bit too drunk, but it doesn’t matter because so are you.
“Can we play a different game, please?” he pleads, slurring.
“It’s not my fault that I’m a god, Kei!”
“If I wasn’t drunk, you’d be a goner.”
“You said five minutes ago that you aren’t even drunk!”
“I’m not!”
“Liar!”
“Different game!” he bellows, still throwing a tantrum.
You reach over and flick the back of his head. Even though you’re hammered, you still manage to land it squarely in the center. His head flies off the floor to face you, honey eyes narrowed.
“You’re dead, (Y/L/N).”
One of his feathers darts toward you, aiming directly for your exposed ribs. You know this game far too well, and while you could easily avoid his attack, you secretly enjoy this kind of attention. In a way, it’s like he’s touching you. That’s what you tell yourself, anyway.
You leap to your feet and begin sprinting in the direction of your bedroom, but the feather is simply too fast. Before you can even make it through the door, it’s teasing the sensitive area, causing you to convulse with defeat. You, unfortunately, are being tickled within an inch of your life.
“K-Kei!” you shout, breathless and laughing, “Stop it!”
“No, you flicked me!”
You crash into the wall and slide to the floor, feather never leaving your side.
“I’m gonna pee!”
“You shoulda thought of that before you flicked me, then!”
“I -- fuck -- I’m sorry!”
“What? Can’t hear you. Speak up!”
“I’M SORRY!”
“That’s what I thought,” he says, a fake threatening tone to his voice.
With that, the feather zips back into the fold of his wings, bumping into a lamp on the way. You stay slumped against the wall, attempting to catch your breath. Meanwhile, Kei has raised himself to a relaxed sitting position on the living room floor.
“Now, a different game, please,” he smiles.
“Fine, crybaby.”
“Watch it, or I’ll tickle you again!”
“Nooo!” you whine, returning to your spot on the living room carpet with a graceless thump.
“I have an idea!” Kei gasps.
“Shoot.”
“How about, um, Truth or Dare, but, like, with alcohol! Like you take a shot if you don’t wanna do your truth… or your dare… or whatever.”
“I didn’t realize we were sixteen years old.”
He calls a feather to hover dangerously close to your ribcage once again.
“Jesus, alright! Just put that shit away.”
He smirks with satisfaction as the torture device returns to its crimson plume.
“I’ll go first!”
“Hold on, let me get the vodka,” you grumble, hoisting yourself up.
As you hobble to the kitchen, Kei begins the game anyway.
“Truth or dare?”
“Let’s do truth,” you decide after a moment, returning with the bottle of vodka.
“You’re no fun,” he pouts, considering his options, “Hmm…. oh! Okay, so, you’ve got good aim.”
“Yeah. Truth or dare?”
“I WASN’T DONE YET!”
“I’m teasing, Kei! Someone’s touchy.”
“Leave me alone,” he growls, “I wanted to know what your quirk really is. Because I don’t think that’s all.”
“Yeah, that’s not all. All of my senses -- you know, sight, hearing, whatever -- are better than a normal person’s. Not all of them are the same amount of better though! My sight is the best, and then touch, then -hic- hearing, smell, and taste. It kinda sucked at first, but I worked really hard to make it worth something, ya know? I even got an ultimate move out of it!”
Kei’s mouth is hanging open in real, but overexaggerated shock.
“Really? Show me!”
“It’s not really something I can show you…”
“Oh. Well, can you, like, tell me about it then?”
At this, Kei scooches closer towards you, eyes widening even further.
“I just, um, focus more, and it makes my senses almost perfect. Like they’re great on their own, but with more focus it gets to the point where, like, I can tell what people are gonna do before they’re finished doing it. It’s like -- ‘oh, I can hear their pinky toe moving in their shoe, they’re probably gonna take a step’. It gives me a migraine when I’m done though.”
Kei nods and begins the long, arduous process of standing up.
“Okay, so I’m gonna get up and then I’m gonna do something totally unexpected. You gotta say what I’m gonna do.”
“I just told you it makes my head hurt, birdbrain!”
“But I wanna seeeeee!”
“You can see it later! I don’t think I can do it right now, anyway. I’m drunk.”
He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest.
You learned from your last time drinking together that when Kei drinks, he often wants to play some sort of game. And when he’s drunk and playing a game, one of two things can happen. One, he gets extremely competitive. This is what happened last time, when he flipped your game of LIFE off of your coffee table. Or, two, he becomes a big, mopey baby, which is what’s happening right now. You know it’s all in jest, and while it’s slightly annoying, it’s mostly endearing. You can’t wait to remind him about this tomorrow. If you’re even able to remember, that is.
“Truth or dare?”
“I’m gonna pick dare, because I’m not a loser,” he mocks.
“Oh, now I’m gonna pick something terrible.”
You scan the room, drunkenly scrambling to find something hellish for him to do as revenge. You just did a deep clean of the whole apartment, so there’s nothing really gross around here that you can think of. You’re fresh out of mushrooms, otherwise you’d make him eat one. You know he would have hated that. You could make him wear one of your bras on his head, but that would require him to see it. Too embarrassing for you. Suddenly, a lightbulb pops in your head.
“Let me touch your wings.”
There are two reasons for this diabolical idea. Kei talks all the time about how he loathes when fans touch his feathers without his consent. But also, selfishly, you just really want to know what they feel like. You’ve felt individual feathers before, and they’re incredibly soft. Feeling multiple all at once sounds heavenly.
“No. Absolutely not!”
“Now you’re no fun!”
“They’re sensitive!”
“I’ll be gentle.”
“No, that’s wooorse!”
“How the fuck is that worse?”
In addition to the flush of Kei’s intoxicated cheeks, a new pinkess spreads across them.
“Either let me touch your wings for a few seconds or take a shot,” you urge him.
He locks hazy eyes with you, and you can see the gears turning in his head. Simultaneously, the gears are turning in your own. You can’t really gather how it would be worse for you to be gentle with them. Holding back on the pressure couldn’t possibly hurt him. In fact, that seems like it would be more pleasurable for him.
Your brain stops in its tracks.
Pleasurable.
Before you can stop yourself, you share your revelation.
“You don’t want me to touch them because you’ll like it too much!”
“No, I--”
“Don’t lie, Kei!”
“I don’t--”
“No, you do know!”
“FINE, TOUCH THEM!” he concedes, throwing his arms in the air.
You grin widely, feeling victorious, as he turns to the side. You use this opportunity to scooch closer to him, preparing to caress the plumes.
You could go about this one of two ways, you figure. You could make this as easy as possible for him. A quick stroke across a small section. Or, you could make this extremely difficult for him, running your fingers between the expanse of the whole wing. Something about the intimacy of the interaction, the inhibiting effect of the alcohol, and your burning desire to touch his wings, to touch him, make you pick the latter.
You wiggle beside his extended leg, facing the wing directly. Before you touch him, something possesses you to lean towards him and whisper in his ear.
“Remember, this game was your idea.”
All in the same motion, you draw your head back and carefully dive your fingers into his wings. As you run them along the surface, you suck in a breath. You expected them to be soft, but you’re taken aback. It has exceeded your expectations by a lot. Your fingertips tingle at the way each feather teases them. The fine barbs feel smooth underneath your touch. A strange sensation zips its way up your arm like it’s a live wire. You move at a sloth’s pace, wanting to savor this feeling for as long as possible, mesmerized. You’re only halfway across when Kei’s hand closes around your wrist, forcefully yanking it away.
His previously hazy eyes are now dark, met firmly with the wall directly across from him. His breathing is labored, shoulders heaving with each inhale and exhale. The previously pink flush in his cheeks is now beet red. Warmth spreads in your midsection, intoxicated by both the restraint he has you in and the downright primal look on his face.
“That’s enough,” he asserts, sternly.
You flounder, looking deep within you for some sort of snarky reply. There’s nothing left in your head; it seems that this interaction has wiped them all away. You feel redness creep up your neck and into your face. Your heart is beating out of your chest. You’re sure that Kei can hear it loud and clear. You swallow hard, and attempt to find your voice.
“Come on, that was nothing,” you offer, weakly.
Your gaze flickers from his eyes to his lips. They’re parted slightly to allow for his panting breaths. The image of him closing the distance between you, crashing them against yours, flashes across your brain. Working against them in expert fashion. Just like you’ve wanted for so long. You can practically feel the pressure of them, sucking on your bottom lip and lightly nipping. To satiate the need you suddenly feel, you take your bottom lip between your teeth, returning your gaze to the predator before you.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Keigo’s palm burns around your wrist. It’s taking everything in him to refrain from pinning you down on the floor and reenacting the images flashing in his head. Your heartbeat is drumlike, rapid, and even more inebriating than the copious amounts of liquor he’s had tonight. Your erratic breaths cause your chest to brush lightly against his forearm, the additional contact driving him further into insanity. After years of training, he knows that this is the ultimate test of his will. He’s losing.
A part of him consistently suggests that loving you isn’t a venture that’s destined to fail. The rest of him usually overshadows that, spouting endless excuses for his actions. Well, rather, inaction. Right now, he’s forgotten every reason he’d previously given himself. No matter how badly he wants to, how desperately he needs to, he can’t bring himself to look at you. If your expression is anywhere near what he’s imagining it to be, he won’t be able to stop himself. In his soul, he knows that if he acts right now, he will be completely unable to show anything resembling mercy. The already looming threat of going completely feral will swallow him whole, and he will fuck you into oblivion.
It’s appealing, the thought of releasing hold on his inhibitions. The only thing stopping him now is the thing that stops him from doing a lot of things these days.
He must, above anything and everything else, keep people safe. And you just happen to be at the very top of the list of people in the world.
This is as instinctual as breathing for him. A knee jerk reaction to outside stimuli. His outside might be extremely stimulated right now, but the core of his very existence will not allow this to continue. Not like this. If he’s ever presented with the opportunity to sleep with you, it has to be centered around you. It has to be considerate. It has to be gentle. The current state of things doesn’t equate to that at all. Of course he cares about you, about your safety. He also cares about being a decent human being, a decent pro-hero, even in the face of quickly reducing into an animal.
Finally, in the raging battle of Keigo versus avian instinct, Keigo emerges victorious.
In one swift motion, he releases his grip on your wrist and raises himself off the ground. Semi-rational thought slowly starts to flow back into his head. He knows that whatever the hell all that was effectively ruined the banter for the night. The way he reacted to your touch scared himself, and he can’t even begin to imagine how terrified you must feel. Moments like these reacquainted him with the fact that his quirk, combined with all of the meddling the Commission did to him, essentially made him a monster. He goes to great lengths to hide that from the rest of the world, but now he’s revealed the most ugly part of himself to the only person in the entire place that matters. You, his entire life, now know that even the most human of hawks are predators, too.
He stumbles to your balcony. In his altered mind, he believes that leaving would be the ultimate courtesy to you right now. It doesn’t matter that he’s plastered. It doesn’t matter that you’re already following him, begging him to stay. No one, especially you, deserves to spend another moment with such an unholy creature as Keigo Takami.
Without so much as a backward glance, he surges off of the balcony and into the night sky. His aim is to fly across the city, across the country, across the world. But, his double vision doesn’t grant him much aid in the darkness. Before he can make it even fifty feet from your apartment building, he clips the one across from you with his massive wing. In any normal circumstance, he would be able to recover from this without much issue. But he’s shitfaced. So, instead, he careens into the street below at remarkable speeds. With a yelp, he lands on the gravel and slides, scraping his entire left side. For a moment, his deafening, panic induced thoughts are quiet. It happens to be just long enough to hear you from your apartment four stories above.
“KEI!”
A pro-hero such as him should be able to take an injury like this like it’s nothing. In fact, he’s done it countless times before. Something about the drunkenness and the complete descent into self-loathing keeps him glued to the pavement. He knows you’re coming. He knows he’s going to have to face you. He knows that you’re probably worried out of your goddamn mind. He knows it’s all his fault.
For the first time in recent memory, Keigo feels entirely lost. Though he’s tried so hard, he knows now that you’ve found him out. In his perfect world, he hoped that you took his lack of affection and general emotional standoffishness as a sort of defense mechanism. In essence, that’s what it was, but he never wanted you to find out any of the myriad of things he was defending himself from -- defending you from. Now, there’s no way in hell you could view it as anything else. He wants you. Badly. And now, you know.
He hoists himself up into a sitting position with difficulty, both hands finding their way to his hair. The panic is starting to give way to crushing defeat. He’s already running through ideas on how to cope with the loss of your presence in his life. After the imminent rejection he’s about to face, he’ll have to cut off contact with you for his own sanity, at least for a little while. Maybe he can contact Kana and see if there’s any way she can assign another pro-hero to your case. Just as he’s running through candidates to recommend, he hears your sandals crunching against the gravel.
“Hey!” you call out.
Keigo inhales deeply and raises his head.
“Oh, thank fuck,” you breathe as you approach him.
You stumble slightly as you finally reach him, hands reaching out. You crouch beside him and begin to inspect his form, picking pieces of the ground off of it.
“(Y/N)...” Keigo sighs.
You shift your focus from cleaning him up to his face. As soon as you see the look of despair on it, your own face drops.
“What? Kei, what’s wrong?”
Is it possible that you aren’t as thrown off by this interaction as he is? Did this even phase you at all?
“Um.. you were there five minutes ago too, right? You witnessed the shit that I just pulled?” he asks, softly.
“Yeah, you jumped out of a fucking window! Of course I witnessed that, you idiot!”
Of course you didn’t care about the fact that he almost acted on his innermost desires in the most animalistic way possible. As always, you just wanted him to be okay. He should have suspected as much.
But, after tonight, he’s not sure if he’s physically able to keep the act up much longer.
“I meant before that.”
Redness creeps across your cheeks as you nod in recognition.
“Yeah, uh, I did witness that,” you whisper.
“And,” Keigo gulps, “did that… uh… scare you? At all?”
You laugh nervously. A flighty and musical sound. Keigo’s heart drums faster.
“No. I wasn’t scared. I was…” you trail off.
You suddenly groan and throw your hands over your face.
“God, Kei, don’t make me say this,” you cry.
His mind races. What could possibly be worse than making you scared by that? He can’t immediately think of anything, but whatever it is must be awful. He definitely won’t be seeing you ever again after this, but he needs to know. He has to prevent this from happening ever again. Not that it ever will, because he doubts that he’ll ever let his guard down like this from now on.
“You’re gonna have to. I’m not following,” he mutters.
You whine, and retract your hands. Your eyes are glued to his chest, as if that’s as close as you can get them to his eyes at the moment.
“I -- it kind of… turned me on.”
Keigo feels as if someone dumped a gallon of cold water over his head. In fact, if someone managed to do that right now, he would probably be less shocked. He can feel his mouth drying out from the amount of time he’s spent with it hanging open.
“See! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” you groan, shifting to raise yourself up.
Without thinking, he wraps his hand around your wrist again, pulling you towards him. You fall to your knees, face inches away from his own. He searches you one final time for any sign of regret, but all he finds is a desperate, pleading expression. He somehow finds it in him to speak.
“Can I?”
You nod softly and he does what he’s been wanting to do for months.
The first thing he notices when his lips finally meet yours is the taste of strawberry vodka. The second thing, hitting him immediately after, is an explosion in his chest. It’s a million sensations at once -- flowers blooming, fireworks popping, the sun rising. Keigo has done a lot of things in his short life, but not one of them has even come close to the pleasure of kissing you.
What was a tentative, slow pace quickly evolves into something needy, something frantic. His hands shift from the soft grip around your wrist to tangle themselves in your hair, pushing you closer to him. Even though you’re practically on top of him now, you’re not close enough, and he doesn’t think you ever will be. His tongue swipes against your lips, begging for entrance. You happily oblige, and he delves deep into you. As your teeth crash together, Keigo begins struggling for breath. He doesn’t want it, maybe he doesn’t even need it. Now, he feels as though you’re the only thing he needs to survive. Just as he accepts that as fact, you break away to rest your forehead on his. You’re panting, giggling softly between breaths. As he collects his thoughts, his mouth moves before any of the rest of him can.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he whispers.
“You should have done it sooner,” you retort, still out of breath.
He’s beginning to regain control of his body now, so he pulls away from you just far enough to plant a soft kiss against your nose. Even though he would love to continue to feel the most unique and gratifying thing he’s ever felt, he recognizes that now is not the time nor the place. But, if he has anything to say about it, there will be plenty more opportunities, scattered across the rest of time. He pauses as that thought, at how a simple kiss has fixed the position he’d been saving for you since the moment he laid eyes on you. You, his first friend, his last love. He finds your hand and squeezes it.
“It’s getting pretty late. You should probably get to bed,” he suggests.
“You could stay with me, if you wanted. I wouldn’t want you to get arrested for drunk flying,” you chuckle.
The smile that sprouts on Keigo’s face is strong enough to break his cheekbones. It’s a miracle that they stay intact.
“You’re absolutely right. Always looking out for me, aren’t you?”
He lifts himself up and pulls you with him. As the two of you walk back to your apartment, your pinky fingers are linked together. It’s a small, almost lazy connection, but neither of you seem to be able to entertain the thought of letting go.
(a/n): fuckin finally amirite
#simphellscape#mha fanfic#mha fanfiction#mha fic#hawks x fem!reader#hawks x reader#hawks mha#mha hawks#bnha keigo takami#hawks bnha#bnha hawks#bnha fic#bnha fanfic#bnha fanfiction#bnha#my hero academia hawks#my hero academia fic#my hero academia fanfic#my hero academia fanfiction#my hero academia#boku no hero academia hawks#boku no hero academia fic#boku no hero academia fanfiction#boku no hero academia fanfic#boku no hero academia#lessons in living
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Average Weekly Screentime - Chap 2: Motorbikes and Movie Nights
pairing: Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago
word count: 1908
warnings/tags: college au, texting, drunk texting, text fic (mostly, there's prose a few chaps in), bets, bisexual!jake peralta, jake peralta has adhd, parties, drinking and alcohol, sexual references, implied sexual content (nothing explicit, just suggested its going to happen/has happened), friends to lovers, swearing, mentions of cannibalism, lighthearted threats of violence (typical rosa stuff yk), fluff
read on ao3
Average Weekly Screentime masterlist
Story Summary: texting fic college AU with the squad! It's the beginning of the school year and while everyone else thinks it'll be the same as the previous year, Gina has a feeling things are going to be different and wagers a bet with Rosa and Charles. Told through all the various group chats everyone is in.
Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6 | Chap 7 | Chap 8 | Chap 9 | Chap 10
authors note: i was gonna wait until i had more written to post another chapter but i felt bad making you wait so here is another chapter! i wanted to title this chapter differently but the one i first came up with rhymes so we've GOTTA stick with that.
Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy!! <3
Jimmy Jabbers
[11:23am, Thursday]
Queen G: okay we NEED to go to a party this weekend or im gonna start pulling my hair out Queen G: im being semi-serious btw
RoRo: name a time and place RoRo: I just show up if I feel like it
Pineapples: gina ur a genius Pineapples: party this weekend is a m u s t
Mr Grapes: I’m in but does anyone even know someone having a party
Four Eyes: I’m with Rosa, name the time and place and I’ll see if I can make it
Queen G: firstly – ur not getting out of this one amy, nice try tho Queen G: secondly – charles I know MANY people and at least one of them will be having a party Queen G: give me 10 and I’ll sort everyones weekend plans
Pineapples: love u gina
Queen G: thank u
-
Sexy Bitches
[11:28am, Thursday]
Sexy: what are ur weekend plans ter?
Ter Bear: James is throwing a party at ours on Saturday. Claims its his birthday but his birthday is in summer
Sexy: and im assuming ur gonna invite ur bestie gina?
Ter Bear: Sure, but you can’t DJ
Sexy: seriously??? Sexy: what if i sent u my playlist Sexy: u can make an informed decision
Ter Bear: Fine, but I’m not making any promises
-
Jimmy Jabbers
[11:33am, Thursday]
Queen G: great news! Queen G: ter bear having a party at his
Pineapples: count me in!
Mr Grapes: me too!
RoRo: yeah sure
Four Eyes: I don’t know..
Pineapples: still recovering from the last party??
Four Eyes: Very much so Four Eyes: I’ll come but no drinking
Queen G: boooooooo
Four Eyes: I’ll be designated driver?
Queen G: amy ur the beessttt
-
Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool
[11:38am, Thursday]
Ferris: u dont have to come
Cameron: I know, I’ll probably regret if I don’t though. My mother keeps bothering me to make sure I’m making the most out college
Ferris: what if making the most out of it is being a regular in the library and handing assignments in a week early Ferris: has ur mom ever considered that
Cameron: Haha I don’t think she has but I’ll bring it up next time she calls me
Ferris: tell her i said that Ferris: i want credit
Cameron: Will do
-
Jimmy Jabbers
[9:06pm, Saturday]
Four Eyes: Leaving my dorm now, you all better be ready. Meet you in the parking lot.
Queen G: rosa and i on our way
Pineapples: charles and i also on our way
Four Eyes: Can’t believe I wasn’t invited to any of the getting ready sessions?!
Queen G: we were pregaming Queen G: next time u will be invited
Four Eyes: Fine. Now get your asses down here.
-
[10:04pm, Saturday]
Four Eyes: Can’t believe I’ve already lost Rosa, does anyone know where she is?
Queen G: with me Queen G: we’re dancing and drinking
Four Eyes: Fantastic
-
[11:24pm, Saturday]
Pineapples: anyone seen amy?? Pineapples: cant find her
RoRo: shut up or come to the kitchen and drink peralta
Queen G: charles hitting on a girl Queen G: trainwreck
-
Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool
[11:26pm, Saturday]
Ferris: where r u?
Cameron: Outside, it was too loud inside
Ferris: u okay?
Cameron: I’m fine, will be in soon
-
Jimmy Jabbers
[12:28pm, Sunday]
Pineapples: my whole body has dry mouth
Four Eyes: I’m not surprised considering you almost threw up in my car
Pineapples: worth it
-
Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool
[12:43pm, Sunday]
Ferris: u alright?
Cameron: I’m fine, I just really don’t think I was in the mood for that party last night
Ferris: fair enough Ferris: when i feel like that i pretend to be a different person
Cameron: I’m not surprised you do that, maybe next time I’ll try it. For now I’m gonna focus on studying
Ferris: as if u need to do more
Cameron: There’s always new material to be worked on, you know
Ferris: news to me lol
-
Jimmy Jabbers
[06:54pm, Tuesday]
Pineapples: calling it now Pineapples: anakin is darth vader
Four Eyes: Wait what???
Mr Grapes: jake, have you ever seen star wars??
Pineapples: this is my first time! Pineapples: i get why people like these
Four Eyes: Oh my God..
Pineapples: i gotta ask tho Pineapples: why the purple lightsaber
Mr Grapes: don’t worry about it, it really doesn’t matter
Pineapples: sure thing!
-
[07:45pm, Tuesday]
Pineapples: im literally so smart guys
Four Eyes: Jake in the nicest way possible, everyone knew about Anakin
Pineapples: seriously??
Queen G: even i knew that and i dont watch movies like that
Pineapples: aw man…
RoRo: Jake ‘I worked out that Anakin was Darth Vader all on my own’ Peralta
Pineapples: idc i still liked the movie
-
Bi Besties
[04:02pm, Wednesday]
Dagger: if you message me one more time about this I’ll burn your die hard poster
El Baboso: i know about motorbikes I swear!
Dagger: gina knows more about motorbikes than you do
El Baboso: wanna take that bet?
Dagger: NO JAKE
-
Jimmy Jabbers
[04:04pm, Wednesday]
Pineapples: @Queen G can u name some motorbikes?
Queen G: sure thing babe Queen G: bike 1, bike 2, bike 3, bike 4, bike 5, bike 6, harry Harley, harriet Harley, henry Harley, hobie Harley, hotel Harley, and bike 7
RoRo: I have nothing to say
Pineapples: check. mate.
-
Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool
[08:03pm, Friday]
Ferris: amy can i be super honest with u rn?
Cameron: Of course, is everything okay?
Ferris: this is hard for me to admit tbh Ferris: but ive gotta do whats best
Cameron: Jake, you’re making me worried
Ferris: i need help
Cameron: Are you alright? What’s going on?
Ferris: im behind on assignments and idk what im doing Ferris: can u help me???
Cameron: That’s it?! You scared the hell out of me! Cameron: Yes, I can help you with the assignments as long as you don’t do that again
Ferris: pinky promise! Ferris: library tomorrow??
Cameron: Sounds good
-
Dance Squad
[01:32pm, Saturday]
G-Hive: ive just gotten some incredibly interesting news
Charlese: dish sis!
G-Hive: ignoring that G-Hive: jake and amy are studying together at the library
Scary: and?
G-Hive: and?! G-Hive: they’re getting cozy
Charlese: they didn’t invite anyone else? that’s weird
G-Hive: i never thought id say this but thank you charles! G-Hive: you get it!!
Scary: so what, you think there’s something happening?
G-Hive: nothing serious because its just studying but voluntarily spending time alone together G-Hive: bit suspish if u ask me
Charlese: its all coming together and im on track to win this bet Charlese: get ready to pay up guys
Scary: absolutely not happening, just because they’re studying alone together doesn’t mean they’re gonna get together in the next three weeks
G-Hive: but its a step in the right direction
Charlese: i still have confidence
Scary: and its still misplaced
-
Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool
[10:06am, Wednesday]
Cameron: Holt has just sent out an email cancelling this afternoon’s class, do you want to go to the library and work on your assignments for a bit?
Ferris: thats great news i should really check my email more Ferris: library sounds good as long as we get food Ferris: im hungry
Cameron: Did you not have breakfast this morning?
Ferris: ran out of fruit loops Ferris: heartbreaking tbh
Cameron: Your nutrition (or lack thereof) scares me
Ferris: thank u!
-
Jimmy Jabbers
[09:35pm, Thursday]
Queen G: manifesting that one day ill have a famous bf
RoRo: are you doing anything to actually achieve that goal?
Queen G: chris evans is bad in bed and if he wants me to stop saying it he’ll have to come prove me wrong
Pineapples: i second that!!
-
[11:32am, Saturday]
Four Eyes: Does anyone want to come get lunch at Sal’s?
Queen G: cant, getting my nails done
RoRo: also can’t, gina dragged me to her nail appointment
Pineapples: yeah im down for lunch
Mr Grapes: I’m ordering in Ethiopian so I’ll pass Mr Grapes: next time though!
-
Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool
[11:34am, Saturday]
Cameron: Meet outside the building?
Ferris: see u in a few!
-
Dance Squad
[11:34am, Saturday]
G-Hive: its all happening babes
Scary: sure it is
-
Jimmy Jabbers
[01:08am, Friday]
Pineapples: i wanna start by saying that i will NOT be held accountable for my own actions Pineapples: now, free of judgement Pineapples: how do i get red wine out of carpet
-
[01:13am, Friday]
Pineapples: you guys suck
-
Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool
[01:16am, Friday]
*Ferris made an audio call to Cameron*
“Jake, what’s wrong?”
“I spilled a drink on the carpet of my dorm and I don’t know what to do, they’ll charge me to replace the carpet or something and I can’t afford that-“
“Okay okay, calm down it’s gonna be fine. What did you spill, and be honest with me”
“Red wine..”
“What?”
“I wanted to try it because I’ve never had it before and I went to put the glass down on the table and miscalculated and knocked my hand and it spilled”
“Is your hand okay?”
“Yeah its fine”
“Okay great, the next time you drink red wine in your dorm I’m going to kill you. Now, you’re gonna need two cups of warm water, tablespoon of dish soap, tablespoon of vinegar and mix together. Pour on the stain in little bits and blot until its disappeared”
“You’re a lifesaver Ames, I owe you big time”
“Yes you do. Now I’m going back to sleep, goodnight”
“Goodnight”
-
[01:29am, Friday]
Cameron: 1 image attached Cameron: good as new!
-
[08:02am, Friday]
Ferris: I’m glad. Never drink red wine in your dorm ever again.
-
[10:12am, Friday]
Cameron: i promise!
-
The Night Boys
[10:15am, Friday]
Sidewinder: sorry I didn’t see your message in the chat Sidewinder: how did u go with the stain?
Deathblade: i called amy and she told me how to clean it up Deathblade: looks good as new now! Deathblade: 1 image attached
Sidewinder: THAT’S SO GREAT
Deathblade: thanks
-
Dance Squad
[10:17am, Friday]
Charlese: 1 image attached Charlese: well well well
G-Hive: boyle if u win this bet im going to delete my insta
Charlese: tempting offer but I’ll do you the kindness of just taking your $50
G-Hive: god i hate u
-
Jimmy Jabbers
[11:49am, Saturday]
Pineapples: anyone up for a movie night tonight?
Queen G: only if its a fun movie
RoRo: why not
Mr Grapes: absolutely!! looking through my DVDs as we speak
Four Eyes: Yeah sure, I could use a break
Pineapples: wonderful!! Pineapples: pls gather at mine at like 8 and bring ur best movie suggestion Pineapples: everyone give me money for Chinese food
Queen G: god ur cheap
Pineapples: im not made of money gina
Four Eyes: How much do you want?
Pineapples: lets call it an even $12 each
Mr Grapes: worth it for a movie night with my buds
RoRo: boyle ruined it
-
Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool
[08:23pm, Saturday]
Ferris: btw i liked ur movie suggestion Ferris: even if gina didnt
Cameron: Thanks :)
-
Dance Squad
[09:03pm, Saturday]
Charlese: they’re sitting next to each other
G-Hive: and im sitting next to rosa G-Hive: doesnt mean we’re in love with each other
Charlese: its gotta mean SOMETHING
Scary: it doesn’t mean shit except that there’s hardly any seating in this dorm
Charlese: you guys have no sense of romance
Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6 | Chap 7 | Chap 8 | Chap 9 | Chap 10
authors note: Fun fact: that star wars thing is literally me, i didn't know anakin was darth vader and then guessed it when i watched the movies for the first time and everyone was like "you didn't know???!!!". The motorbike one is also a direct quote from my bestie <3
I tried to be less party heavy this chapter, they do have a life outside of going to house parties but i will warn the next chapter involves a party (i am gonna tease that there's non-texting writing in it tho). Also this chapter now with added terry for one of the lovely commenters on the first chap, it isnt much but i hope u liked it!
Thanks again, i love you!! <3 next chap will be out as soon as its done!
#alice writes#jake peralta x amy santiago#jake peralta#amy santiago#gina linetti#rosa diaz#charles boyle#fluff#college!au#bisexual!jake peralta#brooklyn nine nine#b99#multi chap#average weekly screentime
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I feel that there will be news about his acting activities soon. It's time to make new movies.😌
Me too! lol at people who kept saying he’s a flop and won’t get hired again 😒
They’re just mad. He’s fine. Just wait and see. Alright guys, it’s 2:38am, it is time for me to log off 🫡 hold down the fort and don’t let the ship sink!
If you’re American, Happy Thanksgiving
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07.07.2023 - Milestone
2:38am. My head's hurting a bit and I feel really warm (temperature-wise). I can't really put a finger on how I'm feeling, to be honest. It's not the greatest feeling, leaning more onto the negative side, but there's this air of complexity and depth to it.
Today is my and Cat's anniversary. I sent her a message along with a cute cat video, then later in the day asked if she wanted to talk a bit in the evening.
She replied to me, saying that today is indeed a special day, and that she really liked my message and the cat video. She wishes me well. She told me that, right now, she's not doing so great and she's drowning herself in work and such. She doesn't think that she can talk right now and that she hasn't been feeling like she has the capacity at all these days. She hopes that I understand. She told me also to not forget that I am special.
I'm happy that she likes my message and cat video, it's meant to bring a bit of a smile and happiness to her ;) I'm happy that she wishes me well, too. I always kind of saw it as a formality thing, and it sometimes can be, but when someone genuinely means it, it's a really nice and heartwarming gesture. I feel sad and sorry that she's not doing so great, and that she's feeling swamped and overwhelmed. I wish somehow that wasn't the case. I wish that I could do something to help her. There are difficulties and challenges in life, and we all got to face them. You can't make all her troubles go away, and even if you could, that might not even be a good thing! But, I think that she knows you're there for her, you know. Through all your messages and actions, I think she knows that you're on her side and that she has your support and care, and it means a lot to her (you know this :>). I think so, yeah. She knows that I'm with her, and I know that she's with me also! I believe in Cat, and that she can do well. I like how she believes in me and us; it's really romantic and precious. I'm happy that my support and care mean a lot to her, it makes me feel really valued and appreciated. I understand and I know her well. I really do. It's ok;) I'm with her no matter what. I won't forget that I am special to her. She's reassuring me that even during difficult times, I am still special to her.
2x "I'm happy", 1x "I'm sad and feel sorry for Cat", 1x "I understand and know her well", 1x "I won't forget that I am special to her".
I haven't been doing great recently either. I was in a bit of a rut before, and then COVID took me out of commission for like a week, so that messed with my mental well-being even further. With a lot of time on my hands, I overthought a lot of things and made myself upset cause of it. Piled on top of that are my other challenges and things I want to do, and all of that just ended up leaving me feeling overwhelmed. I want to approach this in a different way!
I have difficulties and challenges that I'm facing right now, and in some moments I wish I could just escape it all and make it all go away. But I know that that's not really possible, and I don't think that's what I would want for myself in the long run either. I think that I'll do fine, it's just a bit bumpy right now. Some of the things I think about Cat, I should remind myself that she feels and thinks about me like that too. She believes in me, that I can do well. I'm grateful for her support and that she's on my side. There are just challenges that I am dealing with right now, but I will handle them ok.
Me focusing on my own things and doing well with them is the best thing I could do for myself, and also for Cat and our relationship right now. I want to be a positive impact on those I care about, and I want stability in my future.
I do care about her, I really do. I want to be kind, caring, and understanding, but sometimes my own personal struggles and challenges get in the way. The best thing I can do right now, and the way I can show my feelings for her, is to work on those challenges and myself! The time right now that I am dedicating to personal growth is precious and important, and I know it'll help us build a great foundation later. I love her, and I'm special to her. I won't forget that! She does care about me. She really does. She wants to be kind, caring, and understanding, but sometimes her own personal struggles and challenges get in the way. The best thing she can do right now, and the way she can show her feelings for me, is to work on those challenges and herself! The time right now that she is dedicating to personal growth is precious and important, and she knows it'll help us build a great foundation later. She loves me, and she's special to me. She won't forget that!
Get some sleep man. You deserve it.
Thank you. Goodnight!
Goodnight!
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Dec. 22 2024 - 2:38am
Trigger Warning: Talk of mental health. Talk of bullying.
Warning: All people places and things resembling any real people places or things are merely coincidence and are not to be taken as such.
I am so frustrated. I was right! She was trying to ruin something I like. But she couldn't do it with Hazbin Hotel! Instead she tried with other interests of mine. First the Hunger Games series which I made light conversation with her then quickly changed the subject every time and then with others. She tried so hard but I was able to shift away from those as well.
Unfortunately Steven Universe wasn't as lucky. Fortunately she didn't actually ruin it but she could have if I wasn't able to keep myself put together. How frustrating.
I brought it up to get away from another topic she was trying to talk about. That topic and most of the topics she brought up were rather inflammatory to be honest. She is very good at that. And some of the topics were inflammatory to her as well.
Anyway, let me set the scene. Earlier in the day I was frustrated and I came out of my room frustrated as I made my way to the bathroom and she preemptively apologized for no reason. And I, not so graciously, told her that I wasn't frustrated with her and it's fine. I had a bit of an attitude that was not warranted and I understood that immediately but I was still too upset when I got out of the bathroom to do anything about it.
So later on after I had calmed down and was calm for a while I finally decided to apologize for my behavior toward her. Believe it or not I don't want to treat her poorly no matter how I feel about her.
Anyway I go to her room where she is hanging out on her computer and her kid is hanging out playing video games on her bed. They were chillin'. She was obviously confused because I don't normally go out of my way to talk to her especially in her room voluntarily.
I told her I was sorry about my attitude and that she didn't deserve it and that I would be continuing to make an effort to not let my frustration at other things or people dictate how I treat the people around me. I explained what happened to lead me to the point of my frustrations and that like I'd said while I was upset she had nothing to do with my feelings in that moment.
She understood and It was done.
I should have left at this point. But I do want to be able to get along with her. And at least be civil. So I tried to "reconnect" with her. Have some fun and talk a little. Because to be honest I don't like that it's so strained between us. I don't like that I let our past come between us. I don't like that I allow her present behavior to push me away. It's hard having a sibling I don't get along with. And it's not fair for the rest of the family to have to deal with our drama.
I don't leave after that. We talked and had some good conversations that I navigated through and around quite well. I made sure to avoid any area I thought might become a problem. And we shared some good laughs. My nephew and I sorted his pokémon cards while he, my sister and myself socialized. And I admit I had fun. That was my goal.
Even then after sorting the Pokémon cards would have been a good time to go. Especially since I'd pulled out my phone. But I stayed.
We talked some more and at some point my sister brought up a topic I wanted nothing to do with so I interrupted changing the subject to Peridot from Steven Universe. Saying that I didn't like my birthstone until I got to know her.
The three of us like Steven Universe so the topic changed to that. And I thought it might be a safe topic since I was for once the one who went on about it forever and no one else cared as much. I suppose I was wrong.
Anyway my nephew decided to put on the show while my sister and I discussed our favorite Townie from the show. She got half their names wrong and I corrected her every time. She is super good at remembering names so this felt like a slight every time. But I stayed even tempered while correcting her.
Then half way through episode one of season one my nephew decided he wanted to watch the movie instead and this is where things turn. By this time too I am getting tired and I think it would have been a great time to leave but I was also too tired to get to my feet because by this time I was sitting down on my sister's bed. So I stayed missing another good point to leave.
Then she says it. She says she "got it! Spinel is 'split'" and I tell her she is wrong. And being her good old self she not wanting to hear that she is wrong she decided to "assume" I didn't understand what she was talking about. She was talking about DID or Dissociative Identity Disorder. I understood perfectly and she was wrong. And I again told her I knew what she was saying and I again stated that she was wrong.
There is zero evidence that Spinel had DID and the creators of Steven Universe stated that she is the embodiment of PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. But of course I didn't tell her that. What was the point she didn't want to listen.
After I told her the second time that she was wrong she complained under her breath that she should know what she is talking about because her friend has DID. But she forgets that she is the one who assigned that to her friend and she is more than likely wrong in that case too. I ignored her grumblings and stayed quiet.
Eventually she did try once more to talk to me about it after a few minutes of just Steven Universe the movie playing in the background but I shut her down quickly by showing her a meme on my phone which I still had out from earlier in the evening. She didn't react to the meme but she did stop talking and glared at me then decided to watch the movie and ignore me. So I got up and stated I needed to go to bed and left feeling very frustrated.
She didn't ruin Steven Universe for me or Spinel but she did ruin her chance to get back into my good graces. That fact bums me out a bit though.
I think though that this was a great opportunity for her to learn more things about me. And another opportunity for her to use that stuff she learned to either push me up and support me or more likely push me down and abuse me some more. I can't wait to see which way she goes. She also learned some valuable lessons on how I communicate now. And maybe what I will and will not tolerate communicating about.
I would like to feel optimistic it all but I don't. If anything I feel tired. Such a bummer.
Anyway. She is not ruining Hazbin Hotel for me. Which she did bring up for a split second but I pretended not to hear her as I organized pokémon cards with my nephew. I don't know if she fell for it and to be honest I don't care because it changed the subject meaning it worked.
I wish I understood why she hated me so much. I don't feel like she is justified in it at all. I want so badly for her to stop bullying me. I suppose it would be a cold day in hell before that could happen though.
Regards
TNL Barth
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Secret Santa Set-Up
Secret Santa Set-Up https://ift.tt/FvGRNhM by Mydestielbabies_67 Dean groaned as Charlie handed out folded pieces of paper. “And for those who celebrate the holidays, we, and by we I mean me, decided to do a Secret Santa. Limit is twenty dollars, it’s not optional, and yes, you have to participate,” Charlie added with a pointed glance in Dean’s direction. Dean muttered under his breath, crumpling the piece of paper in his hand before smoothing it out to read the name scrawled across it. Great. Just great, he thought. Dean wasn’t exactly the holiday spirit type, and now he had to figure out a gift for someone on a budget that could barely buy lunch. “C’mon, Dean, it’ll be fun,” Charlie teased, nudging him with her elbow. “Think of it as a chance to spread some cheer. Or at least pretend you’re capable of it for one day.” Dean rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the faintest smirk. “Fine. But if I get something lame, I’m holding you personally responsible.” “Noted,” Charlie replied, grinning. Words: 1886, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 2 of Christmas Prompts 2024 Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Castiel (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc. (Supernatural), Secret Santa, Dean is very Grinchy, Presents, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Charlie plays matchmaker, Not Beta Read, Christmas prompt list via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/qFct0N7 December 03, 2024 at 03:38AM
#IFTTT#AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester'#Destiel#ao3feed#ao3feed Destiel#Destiel fanfic#Dean Winchester/Castiel#Castiel/Dean Winchester#Dean x Castiel#Castiel x Dean
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Friday, January 26th, 2024!
12:38am busted a nut and it felt great, awesome way to start the day lol. Also so glad I deleted the emails, I don't even remember what they said and soon they will be totally forgotten :) I already feel more at peace.
10:26am still feeling better, haven't heard from him day #2 (new record!) I want to get away from him he's toxic and doesn't know it/ believe me/ won't do anything about it. Just worry about me lol.
10:47am there's nothing wrong with doing things with your own company btw. Just be safe and you're literally fine ❤️
10:58am FUCK I jinxed myself what the hell 😂 retarded ass I told him I miss him (as a friend) and he said thanks that makes me feel better.... 😑 Glad you feel better bro (no shit I never did anything to you too make your feel bad RIP) literally what? I can't.
4:02pm had some lunch earlier and took a 3? Hr nap very needed, sleep is important!! And I only had like 4-5hrs last night so this makes sense!! I am a girl who needs lots of sleep especially when I am wanting to achieve my best mental health!! Do not feel guilty that you slept in the middle of the day you needed rest!! I love you ❤️
5:18pm laundry in the wash, trash taken out and I'm going to pick up BC RX. I love summer and warm weather but I have to be ok with sweating lol!
Pros >>> cons :) of going outside
11:15pm oops got drunk and watched too many relationship videos = bad. My heart hurts. I want him to feel pain. I fucking hate him and I want him to know (mmmmm maybe this is what I'm manifesting/ loa??) Fuck him fuck him fuck him I hope he gets fucking cheated on ong stupid prick narcissist. Fuck you you're no longer in my life fuck you and your small dick frfr.
I am a beautiful person, with a heart and soul that would NEVER do that shit to someone and that's why I know I'm fucking better. Someone with empathy, with half a brain, would not do that to another human being especially one they've known for years. I know I'm better, kinder, more loving, more respectful, more empathetic, more genuine and real AF, smarter with more emotional intelligence, more confident in myself not to need some half-ass bitch in my life, I'm going to get farther in life than he can even dream of, I get bitches on days I don't even shower bro, I have bitches hitting me up fucking constantly since you left and literally all their dicks have literally been bigger and fatter than yours and they've all been nicer more straight forward at least tbh 😂 bitch you are the bottom of the barrel and I'm the cream of the crop you could not pull me now with your little bitch ass bro wtf so fucking unconfident and with so much mental baggage and mommy and daddy issues the only flex you have is your physical body that's literally so sad and I will fucking stand on this shit, if you only pride yourself on physical appearance and ability but have nothing psychological or emotional or financial or support to provide,,, you're literally a walking dildo I'm sorry but literally please fix your fucking mental before you come at me!!!! I said what I said and I have felt this way for a while, kinda like a woman just being a fleshlight with no emotional or intellectual contribution to the relationship JFC I CAN'T it does go both ways for men and women.
Y'all are so immature and I am above you both I said what I said my confidence scares both of you coward bitches and I will get so much farther in life than the both of you combined x2 I stg because I know my mf worth and I know what and who will not take up my mf time and space. Y'all are so peabrained and act like fucking high schoolers, there's really no point in talking to y'all either bc of the stereo effect with y'all just tell each other what the other wants to hear, enabling the never ending shitty ass behavior with your insane mentally and morally wrong ways of justifying your actions. Nonsensical which is WHY it's so confusing to people who follow LOGICAL thinking..... That cognitive dissonance is the star of the shit show.
Fuck you and good riddance, can't wait for my birthday to know true fucking peace of mind. ❤️
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02:38am 19th November 2023
I cannot be upset with you, you had every right. I gave you oppurtunity. I willingly gave you myself, even if that was not my intention in the beginning, even if your words and your actions brought me to this moment, i decided to put my walls down, i decided to trust, i decided to risk. I gave you the right. You had a choice. Even though you gave me recognition to believe your choice would be me, in the end it was her. Why did you come to me? Why did you choose me at my most scarred and vulnerable period in my life. How could you ?. Im not mad at you, im mad at myself. Im dissapointed because i truly believed you wouldnt do this to me. I truly believed you and i believed you wouldnt hurt me. But you did. When i was at my worst, you hurt me. YOU. I wouldve given 2 lives to say it wouldnt be YOU, but in the end it was you.
Thats what burns me. Burns me every morning when i wake up and every night before i go to sleep. I am so grateful for my self respect that i would never allow you to do this to me again, even though every inch of me would run back to you in a second, and even when i see you my whole body shakes and my mind goes fuzzy and all i can think about is you, i wont let you get to me again, i just need to get over you first. I need to not feel you anymore. And when i dont i will be fine but for now, sto dalje od mene.
- MP
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September 03 - 2023 Sunday
8:31 am
I am such a huge failure. I didn't go to town today because I'm a weak loser. I feel like I can't show my face around anyone today. I should have just canceled the groceries instead of enabling my own poor behavior. I didn't have a good reason to not go today. Other than feeling extremely depressed, I am fine. Now I plan to not leave my bed unless I know I want to do something for a good reason.
9:38am
I can't remember the last time I hated myself so much. I literally can't do anything right now. I never get like this. I can't pursue anything I "enjoy" because it would be a waste of time and I don't deserve the joy. I can't do something productive for others because it would be wrong of me to pretend like I have the energy for that right now. I am stuck rotting.
I'm proving to myself that my life means nothing and I'm going nowhere. That I don't have the energy to change or hold onto the things I have, like I even deserve them. That there really is nowhere to go but down so what's the point in even trying. If it was possible I'd just will my heart to stop beating.
I feel like apologizing to everyone I've let down and led on. Wasting their time making them think I'm someone worth having around. I'm so selfish
10:25am
Everyone has better things going on in their lives that don't involve me, thats always the case. But look at me being selfish enough to want anyone's attention. I should just die already
12:59pm
I feel like I can't do anything without causing damage in some way.
1:33pm
Everyone I talk to seems to have had a good weekend. While I'm rotting away hoping I can finally die
3:03pm
I'm having the thought that I just can't have certain things. I see anyone doing literally anything happy and fulfilling and I think "that could never be me." "Im just some loser stuck in this cabin doomed to be sad and alone until I die." I hold the core belief that it's impossible for me to find peace, or love, or satisfaction anywhere. I can't be a valued member of a group. I can't be someone who accepts the affection of someone else. I can't be someone who feels like he contributes to the world. I can't be with the same reverence I view others with. I can't even be someone who finds peace with himself, enjoying my alone time.
4:11pm
I hate having to be the one to message first so often. Why am I not fought for. I fight so much. Or maybe I just don't see it because I don't want to.
I definitely hate asking for emotional support because I want to make sure I'm not a drain on other people or that Im misusing them. But sometimes I just rot waiting for anyone to notice/care which doesn't happen. And all I need to do is reach out.
4:46pm
1.What are the major changes you’d like to make in your life?
I want to change how I act and perceive things so that I can stop being someone who assumes the worst of himself. I also want to learn how to drive and become more independent so maybe I can fit in more with my peers. Changing living situation would be a big next step, being truly on my own.
2. How would you act differently if painful thoughts and feelings were no longer an obstacle?
I would be able to act on my decisions rather than sulking so much. I'd be able to operate without distraction.
3. What projects or activities would you start or continue if your time and energy were not consumed by troublesome emotions?
I have so many creative ideas I'd like to do that feel like they are locked behind learning to overcome my thoughts. Not only that but I'd want to make a better effort to get integrated into a friend group or two. I want to play VRchat like I used to where every weekend night felt like a party no matter who I was with, even strangers. I want to be better overall about being active online instead of doing things alone so much.
4. What would you do if fear were no longer an issue?
I would go to town to get my own groceries without it being such a big issue. I'd meet up with someone IRL like my gradeschool friend who reached out but I didn't do anything with. I'd try to get to a con to meet my online friends. I'd join group activities more without worrying about my mood, knowing it's something that would benefit me.
If unhelpful thoughts and unpleasant feelings did not deter you: 5. What sort of relationships would you build and with whom?
First and foremost I'd stabilize things with my bestie as much as possible. Thats the most important relationship to me right now and I want it to be a very healthy one. I want to make more friends in general that I actually care about and want to put my time into. I want relationships that I don't worry about so I can actually maintain multiple. It could be nice to have an art buddy of sorts to draw with on a frequent basis.
6. What improvements would you make in your health and fitness?
I'd stick to my workout schedule better but overall I don't think I'm that unhealthy of a person. There's always room for improvement but I just want to make sure I have something going that is okay and stable which I almost do.
7. What changes would you make in your work?
I'd stick to my schedule extremely well before trying to expand it more. I'd be less afraid and more willing to work on things that might grow my name/business at the cost of being things I might not be super into. But usually it's about the art process more than the content for me. I'd stop skimping out on work just because I am "able" and push myself more.
What feelings, urges and sensations might possibly act as obstacles?
Feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. Feelings that make me believe I am not worth the things I want. Urges to quit or cope self destruct. Sensations that remind me of my fears like an upset stomach or that empty feeling in my chest when I feel like none of it is worth it.
What thoughts and images might possibly act as obstacles?
The thoughts that I can't sustain friends or find out what I really want in life. Images of myself alone, unhappy, or dead. Images of myself in a place remembering how I fucked it all up and can never move on to something better. Knowing it was actually all my fault.
7:25pm
I feel so selfish expecting literally anyone to prioritize me or help when I need it. I really don't deserve it but I expect it anyways. How can I be such a bad person
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3:45am-I wake up for work. At work, I am assigned to train a new temp. The new guy spends his shift telling me how the deli chickens were talking to him when he puts them in the oven. He is apparently unable to follow simple directions that do NOT come from a chicken carcass, because he is useless in my area.
9:40am- 5 minutes before the end of my shift, my sister calls me in a panic. She is at a vet 40 minutes away, her cat had an abscess rupture on a preexisting tumor last night. They're working her in, but she's about to be late for work. The friend who was supposed to help her has not answered his door being beaten on for 20 minutes. I get there in 30 minutes, and receive her cat Biscuit, who I've met maybe twice. Biscuit makes his displeasure with my presence known for the next half hour from inside his carrier.
10:38am- When we are finally called into the vet, I am questioned multiple times about this being an outdoor cat(he's not). Biscuit has had a hard life- when my sister found him several years ago, he came with a shredded ear, facial scarring around his mouth, and FIV. He looks like she pulled him out of a dumpster, and that honestly would not surprise me, but his owners are the people promoting indoor cat life on Facebook as a hobby. The vet finally reads his history file and believes me. I cannot stress enough that this is not my cat, not my vet, not my rodeo.
I stand next to the giant sign that says 'Let our staff handle your pet during the exam for their safety, DON'T do it yourself', and I successfully hold my face in as the vet directs me to physically hold and manipulate this cat that isn't mine and knows it, instead of either of the professionals in the room doing it. I successfully avoid being bitten, using the carrier towel as a magic carpet to remove and replace the extremely offended kitty while he is distracted with treats. I am surviving despite the judgement of the vet, who thinks the tumor should be removed despite the strong opinion of the last vet who examined the tumor, AT THIS PRACTICE. I promise to pass on her opinion, as I am, for the fifth time, not the owner of this cat.
11:16 am- Visit successfully completed, I drive another 40 minutes to return Biscuit to his home. He is thrilled to never see me again. Emergency handled. Now I can go back to my actual plans. Back across town.
12:14pm- I pick up my brother and take him to the convenient care. Several people in my family have recently been diagnosed with Pneumonia, and my brother has a persistent cough. As the 2nd oldest of 7 siblings, I have a habit of feeding the others, so we get burgers. Surely now I can relax.
12:32pm- my child's school calls. Child was out all but one day last week with Pneumonia, and today is the first day back. It is the counselor telling me they're sending home completely unrelated paperwork.
12:42pm- my child's school calls AGAIN. this time it's the nurse. I forgot to send a doctor's note, and child is insisting they can't do gym. I approve skipping gym, and finally drop off my brother.
While he's waiting at the urgent care, I run to the plasma center, my ACTUAL plan for the day. I foolishly tempt fate, joking with the staff that nobody else is allowed to need me today. I will regret this.
2:28pm- as I am walking out of the plasma center, FINALLY able to get a cup of coffee without it risking the $50 payout from donating plasma(no high BP) my grandma calls me. She has been sick in her car and needs help getting in her house. She was half-carried out of the local Cracker Barrel and to her car by the staff. I work part-time because I am frequently her caregiver. My brother is still in the convenient care. My child gets off the bus in 1 hour.
2:46pm-my youngest brother, a recently hired hospital orderly, has agreed to help grandma. He gets her from car to house in a wheelchair, with a blanket to cover her. There is no remaining mess in the car. Grandma is now feeling fine, is able to clean herself up, and does not need me to come. I go to Dunkin Donuts.
3:15pm- my brother exits the convenient care. He does not have Pneumonia! He's coughing because he's not taking an allergy pill. I didn't know there was anyone in my family NOT taking an allergy pill. Both of us are frustrated, because he has just wasted his money because I didn't think to ask a very basic question when he was asking me for advice. I drive him home.
3:31pm- my child calls, unhappy because I want home to receive them. Dad was home. With a chainsaw and headphones. I arrive home in time to start filling out school paperwork that involves knowing child's weight at birth, and other such information I have long forgotten.
4:30pm- homework time.
Approx. 5:20pm- I finally sit down and take off my shoes for the first time in about 13 hours. It has been something like 3 days since 3:45am.
this isn't critters related (or is it) but in my dream last night you asked me to take a small orange kitten to the vet and I had to go on a grand journey through a half-abandoned mall with this kitten tucked under my arm but I just wanted to let you know we made it and he was fine
I have so many thoughts - I'm in your dreams!! - WE SAVED HIMMMM - dream cat distribution system - I wanna play this game on switch
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Imperfect Moments - Chapter Four
a/n: This one is so short, it’s more of a half chapter 🫣 I’m sorry!! Accept me giving it to you earlier than planned as an apology. The next one will come soooo soon.
Series Masterlist
pairing: Jakexfemale!reader
word count: just over 1k this chapter I’m so sorry
series summary: You’re in love with your best friend. His twin brother hates you. Or does he?
warnings: 18+ minors stay away, language, mention of sex
The sun woke you the next morning, the harsh glare of it landing across your face and forcing you to roll away from it. The motion made it abundantly clear that a headache would be in your near future. Pushing up from the mattress with a groan, you toss your blanket away and get up to head to the kitchen. You don’t check your phone until coffee is brewing and you’ve swallowed a few ibuprofen and chugged a glass of water. Turning Do Not Disturb off, you find a handful of texts and three missed calls from Josh. One from very late last night and two this morning. His first texts are apologetic, until they turn accusatory.
Josh ☀️: What exactly were you doing with Jake before I found you??
Josh ☀️: My BROTHER
Josh ☀️: Unbelievable honestly
When you hadn’t responded, he’d left you last night with a final apology, but only for the way he’d spoken about you. Nothing about how he’d treated you earlier in the day, nothing about how he’d acted during the party. This morning he’d sent only one.
Josh ☀️: Just call me back
You had no plans to do so. After pouring your first cup of coffee, you settle onto your couch and open a string of texts from an unsaved number, unable to stop the smile that forms.
UNKNOWN (1:38am): Hey it’s Jake
UNKNOWN (1:38am): Hope you got home ok
You’d been deep into that bottle of wine by then.
UNKNOWN (2:06am): Call me tomorrow if you wanna talk
UNKNOWN (2:06am): About anything
UNKNOWN (2:09am): It doesn’t have to be about us or whatever
UNKNOWN (2:09am): I’ll be here if you need me
UNKNOWN (11:11am): Good morning 🙂
In quiet contemplation, you set your phone onto the cushion next to you and sip your coffee. After a shower and a second cup, you pick it up and hit Call on the still unsaved number. It rings for a long time but just as you’re about to hang up, a slightly out of breath voice comes over the line.
“Hey, Y/N, hi.” You can hear him trying to calm his breathing, in through his nose and out past his lips.
“Hello Jacob, is this a bad time?” Though you’ve technically known him for over a year and a half, you don’t know anything about his habits, his personal life. You’re not sure what you could’ve been interrupting and you think briefly that you should’ve texted him first.
“No, no, sorry. I was downstairs with Jo- I was downstairs.” He’d been sitting in the kitchen, across the island from his brother. The air was already thick with tension as they mumbled stubborn and unspecific apologies to each other for the night before and when Jake’s phone, lying face up on the marble, started ringing they'd both looked at it. Your name scrolling across the top of the screen had Josh cursing under his breath. Jake had grabbed the phone and jogged across the room and up the stairs, waiting to answer it until he was behind the closed door of his bedroom. “How are you, did you sleep okay?”
“Well I did have some trouble falling asleep, someone was blowing up my phone,” you jest.
“Oh, oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“
“I’m joking,” you giggle at the mild panic in his voice, “I slept fine.”
You hear him let out a breath he’d been holding. “Good, that’s good…” He lets silence take over for a moment before asking, “So… why are you calling?” He’s not sure he’s prepared for whatever the answer is. He’d meant it when he said you could talk to him, about Josh if need be, but he’d also been very specific in the hallway.
If you wake up tomorrow and you still want me to show you exactly how you should be treated, exactly what you deserve…
“I’ve thought about what you said. Probably not enough, but… I haven’t changed my mind.” You’ve lowered your voice as if someone could overhear. His reply is equally low, the soft timbre of his voice causes goosebumps to raise across your skin.
“Is that right, sweetheart? You want me to fuck you?”
Oh. No one had ever spoken to you the way Jake has over the last few days, especially not over the phone. You feel your face get hot and the flush creeps down your neck.
“I- yes. Yeah.”
“You sure? If we do this, there’s no going back…” It’s true, but it’s laced with wishful thinking. It would irreversibly change things; your friendship with his brother, mainly but if he has his way, you’ll keep coming back to him. Maybe permanently.
“I’m sure.” It comes out stronger this time, but it’s met with silence. You can’t see the grin that’s taking over his face or the way he shifts at the edge of the bed where he’s sitting, adjusting himself in his sweatpants.
“Okay. Okay. Um, do you, I mean would you wanna come over later?”
“Don’t you think that’s a bad idea? Because… Josh, you know.”
“Right right… um-“ His typically smooth persona is cracking and he’s embarrassed that he’s suddenly overthinking things.
“Jake, why don’t you just come to my place?” Your decision has been made and you’re feeling more sure of yourself than you have in days. “You have no idea where I live,” you chuckle at how absurd it is. His twin has spent countless hours in your apartment and Jake has never even asked him where he’s been.
“Text it to me. Tell me when to be there, I’ll be there.”
“Will do. I’ll let you go then, I guess…” You really don’t want to hang up, odd since you’ve barely spoken a handful of sentences to him at a time before last night. Now that you've stammered through this phone call, you don’t feel ready to let it end.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you later Y/N.”
“See you later Jake.”
Neither of you move to hang up.
“Bye Jake,” you whisper.
He laughs softly before responding, “Bye sweetheart.” He ends the call, head already swimming with thoughts of later.
A door slams somewhere downstairs.
Taglist:
@lightmylove-gvf @spicedandicedtea @weneedsomehealing123 @milkgemini @why-ami-on-here @gretavanbitches @twistedmelodies @wildflowerxx-x @dannythedog @blissfulbellss @averagemisfit03 @dharmasdivine @thetroublegetssoloud71 @lucimoo @toxbexannouncedx @dig0930
Please let me know if you’d like to be added ❤️
#greta van fleet#gvf#greta van fleet fic#greta van fleet fan fiction#greta van fleet smut#gvf fic#gvf fan fiction#gvf smut#jake kiszka#jake gvf#jake kiszka smut#jake kiszka fanfic
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20 hours
First fic for One Chicago Appreciation Week 2022 and Burzek Appreciation Week 2022! AO3 link
Prompts - Chills and ‘Why won’t you let me in? What are you afraid of?’
Summary - Those 20 hours in solitary had affected Adam more than he cared to let on and he was hiding it from everyone. But he works in an elite unit so people are bound to notice.
Notes - I played around with the timelines a bit but it’s set after the Season 2 episode ‘Prison Ball’ but includes elements of Season 5 as Hailey is present
Adam woke with a start. Breathing heavily, he ran his hands over his face in an attempt to wipe the sweat away, cool the chills and calm himself down. It had been 5 days since those 20 hours and he hadn’t slept through the night once. He looked to his right and breathed a sigh of relief to see Kim still sleeping soundly, curled on her side. At least he hadn’t woken her up he thought as he looked over at the clock. 3:38am. The earliest he could get into the bullpen without arising suspicion was 6, any earlier and people would start asking questions and this was not something he wanted to talk about.
Getting out of bed quietly so as not to wake his sleeping girlfriend, he walked into the kitchen. Coffee, that would ensure he stayed awake for the rest of the day and no one would know any different. Whilst waiting for the coffee machine to finish, he looked around. His once manly bachelor pad now bore signs of someone in a happy relationship. There were pictures on the fridge, cushions on the sofa, that Adam had no idea how they got there, and two glasses with the dregs of last night’s wine on the coffee table. Adam smiled to himself, even with everything going on in his head right now he still had her. She was the love of his life, for that he was sure and he knew he had to get over this, for her sake if not for his own.
-------
Dragging himself into the precinct at 6am was not what he had planned today yet here he was. He went straight into the break room to make another cup of coffee, it was going to be a long day. His phone chimed shortly after he returned to his desk – it was a picture of the note he had left Kim on her mug and a message saying I love you too. A small grin crept across his face.
‘What’s got you smiling like a fool’ came Kevin’s voice. Adam had been so preoccupied that he hadn’t even noticed him coming up the stairs.
‘Nothing’ Adam said.
‘Yeah nothing to rhyme with Burgess’ Kevin smirked.
If there was one person who understood the relationship he had with Kim, it was Kevin. The two hadn’t necessarily gotten off to the best start in relation to her but now Adam understood that he was only looking out for her, and he appreciated someone else having her back.
-------
By the time lunch came around, Adam was on his fourth cup of coffee and people were starting to notice his irritable behaviour. He had snapped at Jay when Jay asked what was wrong. Had barked orders at Hailey even though she outranked him. Al had called him out for zoning out during their meeting and Voight, well Voight could tell something was up.
‘Ruzek’, the gruff voice of their Sergeant said, ‘my office, now’. Adam groaned internally, getting called to the Boss’s office was never good news and he knew after the way he was behaving today, it definitely wasn’t.
‘Sarge’ he said when he entered the room and closed the door behind him.
‘You going to tell me what’s going on or do I have to drag Burgess up here and hear it from her’. Oh, great Adam thought, he thinks it’s my relationship that’s getting in the way of the job, whereas the relationship was the only thing keeping him afloat right now.
‘It’s nothing Sarge, and it’s got nothing to do with Kim, she’s great, I mean we’re fine. I just…’, he took a breath, ‘haven’t been sleeping great, think I just need a new pillow is all’ he said with a chuckle. Voight didn’t look convinced.
‘If that’s all, close the door on your way out’.
‘That’s all Sarge, I’m good’. And with that, he left Voight’s office and headed straight to the locker room. He sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands, I’ve got to get over this he thought. If not I’m out of intelligence and that can’t happen. Just as he was trying to pull himself together, he heard a voice.
‘Adam, hey, what’s up?’ He looked up to see Kim walk in, she looked concerned. ‘You didn’t text back this morning, I just wanted to check you’re alright. You’ve been gone every morning this week before I wake up’.
Adam rubbed his face, ‘I’m all good darlin’’ he said with his signature grin, ‘just had paperwork to catch up on’. And with that, he got up, quickly pecked her on the cheek and headed back to the bullpen, leaving a very confused and worried Kim in his wake.
-------
Adam was the last to leave the bullpen that evening and once he thought he was alone he headed back into the locker room. He knew Kim had gone home earlier; she had text him to say she was going to cook if he was home before 7. It was now 9 and he had shot her a message back to say the team had to stay late. In reality, Voight had a meeting in the Ivory tower at 5 and the rest of the team apart from him and Jay had left before 6. Jay had headed out a little while ago and he had just been staring at the screen until he thought he was alone. He knew Kim would probably be in bed by the time he got home which meant he could hopefully avoid the conversation he knew was coming.
When he got to the locker room however he saw that he wasn’t alone. Jay was sat on the bench waiting for him.
‘Ruze, talk to me man’.
‘It’s nothing Jay really, I’ve just not been sleeping, need a new pillow, you know the story’. He tried to play it off but he could see Jay wasn’t believing him.
‘That’s not it though is it’, Jay said in a slow calm voice. ‘You’ve been like this ever since that UC case. The one in the prison’.
Adam bristled, he wanted to say something, anything to deflect what Jay was saying but he couldn’t get the words out.
‘Going into the hole must have been hell man, I’ve heard the stories. It’s normal that it would have affected you. Hell, you’d be crazy if you didn’t get torn up over what you saw.’
Adam sat down facing his locker, not wanting to see Jay’s face.
‘I’ve seen the look in your eyes before’, Jay took a deep breath, ‘I’ve had that look in my eyes too. When every time you close them your back somewhere that broke you. It’s normal but you’ve got to get some help man. Have you told anyone the real reason you’re not sleeping?’ Adam shook his head. ‘Not even Burgess?’.
Adam scoffed. ‘What do I tell her? Hey Kim, you know your big strong cop boyfriend who’s not afraid of bullets. Well he got locked in a room for 20 hours and went almost crazy and now he can’t sleep because he keeps having nightmares.’
Jay looked at him slowly, ‘yes’ he said simply. ‘Tell her and she’ll be there for you. Hell that girl is crazy about you and heaven knows why’. He chuckled quietly. ‘You’ve got PTSD Adam, at least on some level’ he said as Adam looked at him and tried to interrupt. ‘20 hours locked in a room with no windows, hearing sounds of other prisoners going crazy, not knowing when you were going to get out. That’s a lot for anyone to take. Even a big strong cop’. He said with a smile. ‘I’ve known men bigger and stronger than you, crack under a lot less’.
‘But that’s different’ Adam said.
‘Why, because it was war. Men are men Adam, in prison, on the streets or on the battlefield. It doesn’t mean what we see or hear doesn’t affect us. You should talk to someone. When I had all that stuff with Morgan, therapy got me through it. Well therapy and Upton.’
Adam looked up at him with a curious expression.
‘Yeah, she basically told me if I didn’t go to therapy and start dealing with it, she was going to ask for another partner’.
‘Damn, for someone so small, she’s feisty’. Smirked Adam, Jay nodded and laughed.
‘She is, but it took that for me to realise that me not dealing with it wasn’t just effecting me. It was having an impact on those around me, those I care about.’
‘But therapy’ Adam said, ‘talking to someone about my feelings and crap, not sure that’s for me.’
‘I didn’t think it was for me either, thought I’d be weak if I went to see someone but it helped. It really did. But start with talking to Kim, she knows somethings up. We all do. And she might surprise you.’
With that Jay patted him on the shoulder and headed out leaving Adam with a lot to think about.
-------
Adam took a breath before opening the door to his apartment. She loved him, he thought to himself, she loved him.
As he walked in, Kim turned her head to see him from where she was sat on the couch. ‘You’re home late’, she said. It wasn’t said in an accusatory tone, it was laced with something else, worry, perhaps.
Adam took of his jacket and draped it over a chair before making his way to sit next to her.
‘Talk to me Adam’, Kim said softly as she took his hands in hers. ‘Why can’t you let me in? What are you so afraid of?’.
This was it thought Adam, this is the moment I might lose her. And with that he started talking. Once he had opened the flood gates, it didn’t seem like he’d ever stop.
He told her how he hadn’t been sleeping because every night it felt like he was lying on that hard slab and all he could hear was the shouts coming from the neighbouring cells. He told her how he felt like he’d been in that room for days and when it turned out it was only 20 hours he was ashamed of how he felt. He told her when Kevin seemed fine straight afterwards that he must be weak for acting the way he was. He told her that he didn’t want her to think less of him because he was having nightmares so he made sure she fell asleep before he even dared to close his eyes. He told her how Jay had cornered him this evening and told him to talk to her and that maybe he should get some therapy. He told her how he had scoffed at the idea because good cops don’t need therapy. He told her how the reason he hadn’t told her any of this was because he was scared. He was scared she would look at him with pity, scared that she would think he was weak, scared that she’d leave him.
All through this, Kim watched him whilst he talked, holding his hands but never interrupting. She knew he had to get it all out and when it seemed like he had finished, she gently squeezed his hand and he looked at her.
But it wasn’t a look of pity that Adam saw, it was a look of love, a look of pride.
‘It took a lot to tell me all that Adam’, Kim smiled, ‘I always thought you were the strongest man I’d ever met’. Adam heard the past tense and looked away. Kim squeezed his hand again and he looked back. ‘But now I realise that you’re stronger than I ever thought and I love you more because of it.’
Adam had tears in his eyes and let out a weak laugh.
‘And we will get through this together, and if you want to go to talk to someone then…’. Adam interrupted her, ‘I do’ he said. ‘I think it’ll help’. She smiled, ‘then I will drive you to the appointments and wait until you’re finished. Then we can come home together, and talk about it, or not if that’s what you want, but we will do it together.’
Adam’s smile became even larger as he wrapped her into a hug and gently squeezed. How did I get to be so lucky he thought as he held the woman of his dreams and realised that tonight, he might actually get to sleep through the night, for the first time since that hideous day.
#one Chicago appreciation week#ocaw22#Burzek appreciation week#burzekaw22#Burzek#Chicago pd#one Chicago#one Chicago week#onechicagoweek#dailyburzek
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Distressed Fyodor
(woohoo! 9th post. Fyodor Dostoevsky x reader. This will be the first part of the request and the second part will be the last part of this request. I swear Tumblr is messing with me rn ://)
You've been dating Fyodor Dostoevsky for awhile now and..he seems to be acting off recently. Ever since New years had happen, he seemed so gloomy — as gloomy as the person he was before he had started dating you. He was acting just fine before New years, he had some few gifts and letters. But what you didn't know is that one of the letters was the reason for his sudden change of mood. A rather upsetting letter. Yet you never questioned him why. Respecting his privacy. But that didn't last long, he's recently being back to overworking himself until he passes out to sleep on working, being distant but no he's not ignoring you or avoiding you. It's more of like he's trying to distract himself from his gloominess. But why? What was the reason for his sadness? You couldn't understand this man at all. Although little did you know you're not the reason of his sadness. Never, you're his beloved after all. It's even worse that you really don't know anything about what's upsetting him. And so again, you caught him working on his desktop. You swore you tried dragging him to the bed with you at 11pm, You gazed at the digital clock beside you and it showed the time. 2:38am. You hear his typings and the light escaping the opened door beside your bedroom, his office. This man..you thought he had went to sleep with you. You shook your head before rubbing your eyes and sprung off the bed as you brushed your clothing to fix your appearance slightly before exiting the bedroom and then entering his office, “Fyodor?” You called out to him, peaking through his door as if a gesture of asking permission to enter. He didn't answer, it seems like he was extremely focused at what he was doing. Your words of caution seemed to fall upon deaf ears. You can't seem to recall him paying any attention to you recently.. Perhaps it would be for the best if you didn't bother him right now?
But that's probably a bad idea, don't you think? Your boyfriend is obviously distressed, he's been like this ever since New years. And it's affecting him physically and mentally. You had to have a chat with him. “Fyodor, I'm coming in.” You exclaimed as you entered the room and closed the door behind you before appearing at his back. Having a worried expression evidently written on your face, even if he's not looking at you — You're sure the tension and perhaps your body language speaks louder. “..Can we talk, love?” He finally turned around, a faint smile rested upon his lips. He looked exhausted, like most of the time with his constant overworking. This time, his fatigue looked more genuine. Almost as though he hasn't been sleeping well recently.
His eyes made direct contact with you, a calm feeling filled you. "Yes, yes...Of course we can, darling." He replied softly, he even stood up and started looking through a few papers he had previously been working on moments before you spoke. “Look..I..noticed you're not doing well recently and I know I'm respecting your privacy by not asking the reason..” You started, averting your gaze away from him for a moment. Although you feel like you should really point this out. You placed your hand to your chest before you continued speaking. “But you're making me worried, you're overworking yourself, you're not eating properly and you're even avoiding sleeping.” He didn't immediately interrupt you or cut you off. He was still in the middle of listening to your worry and concern about his wellbeing. "Darling, I'm perfectly okay. Please do not worry about me." He replied gently, he made a light motion with his hand as if requesting you to shush yourself. “Liar.” You muffled, although it was audible enough for him to hear as you called him out with such name. How could he lie with a straight face when his actions contradicted his words? No..no..his whole state is contradicting his words. If you weren't already concerned enough, now you could clearly see the sadness wash over his face once you called him a liar. He had stopped what he was previously doing and now you both were just making a rather intense eye contact. This eye contact wasn't filled with rage, rather it was one filled with sorrow and regret. You could hear his voice crack when he tried to speak again. "Please...I beg of you. I am quite alright, this is just a small matter really." “I—” You blinked, but you don't want..to..just let him bottle all that up. “Please, Fyodor. I'll not ask you what is bothering you but can you atleast try and take care of yourself?” You replied to him before having the same upset expression as him, mayhaps even getting the wrong idea... “Am I the problem?”
The way that your mouth trembled upon your last sentence really broke his heart. He quickly shook off any thought that you may have interpreted the fact that you may of been the problem. "No..of course not, darling..It's not you, you shouldn't worry about yourself. It's me," Fyodor was trying to assure you that you weren't the issue and that he was just going through something. He knew you would assume things, but he couldn't let that happen. Not after all the trust you have built up with each other. “Then..then..” You gazed down before you stepped forward and wrapped him into an embrace. As if pulling him into a tight hug, not wanting to let go at him at all. “Then..then please..just take care of yourself? Sleep, even for an hour? Eat properly?” After all this trust you've built up, he has been indeed vulnerable to you and you do the same, but you can't bear seeing him bottle up such emotion. He immediately embraced you back, his body finally receiving some warmth and relief when you both embraced one another. After all this time, he finally let some of his emotions show. Fyodor's voice quivered slightly when you requested him to take care of himself. He gave a few silent nods before he finally spoke. "I will... I promise I'll eat some food... And I'll sleep early next time. My overworking has made me develop these bad habits." You had a certain hold over him to be able to convince him to take care of himself even a little more. Perhaps you even had a greater hold over him than you realised.. “Can..you stop working for tonight and sleep with me now then?” You mumbled as you tilted your head to catch a glimpse of him, maintaining eye contact and the embrace you're exchanging. A hopeful sparkle appearing in your eyes. At last, you get to see him treating himself right after he started being gloomy.
Fyodor's face lit up upon your request, perhaps because it's exactly what he wanted. He finally gave in to his exhaustion, he nodded at you and sighed. "For you, my dear, yes... I'll stop working for today and sleep with you right now." He replied cheerfully, his voice carrying a soothing and comforting tone. He didn't mind at all taking a break, after all, he was in desperate need of it. You could notice a small smile beginning to form on his lips. Once the both of you had reached the bedroom once again, finding yourselves laying near each other on top of the bed. Snuggling in a silent and comforting manner. At any time, you might be ready to fall asleep at any moment. Is it that comfortable to fall asleep next to him? Yes. Yes it is. It's..safe to be in his arms.. Fyodor's eyes already had closed after you've both came back to your room, he looked so peaceful and so relaxed now. This was exactly what he needed. This is exactly what you needed. Both of you are comfortable and safe to fall asleep now, that was all that mattered now — the fact that each of you are comfortable was enough. Your boyfriend finally was treating himself better now because of you. You both lay together peacefully as you both drift to sleep with no worries whatsoever.
Hello this is a request for a more depressed Fyodor of him showing his more vulnerable side to s/o especially since reading his new years letters which was really sad!!! And I really want to see a sort of fluffy warm story with y/n comforting our favourite rat king who seems really lonely. Telling him he’s no longer alone to himself. Just something wholesome and sweet for a rare occasion, maybe having some vodka together lolololol. Keep up your writing skills I love it!!! 🔥🔥❤️✨😀
AAAAAA omg my first request and TYSM for the praise. I'd love to do it!!!! I'm going to think of a certain scenario for a moment and then I'll reblog this post and in the reblog, I'll put your request! :DD
#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou sd#bungou stray dogs#bsd#fyodor x reader#bsd fyodor#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#bungou stray dogs fyodor#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd dostoevsky
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