#it is 1am by the time i post this i need sleep ffs

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

Dream SMP Essay: c!Quackity's Conflicting Backstories

Notes: 

Some of you may already know some of this, because I have already posted part of my findings on c!Q's DSMP wiki page. And to members of the Flycord, you might have already found me ranting about this in his loveposting channel a couple of days ago or so.

Everything in the context of either characters (c!) and content creators (cc!) are labelled as such. The unlabelled names would refer to instances where the situation is ambiguous and apply to both.

Citations and links to VODs will be provided as required as evidence.

Content warnings: Death, dehumanization mention, injury, mental health, trauma, violence, etc. If further tagging is needed, please message me by asks or DMs.

Currently, c!Quackity has 2 potentially-contradicting known canon backstories, the first one being juvenile prison and the second one being MCM. I will elaborate more below the cut.

Backstory A: Juvenile prison

c!Q was allegedly in juvie for either 10 or 41 years before joining the SMP. It is unknown how he ended up there in the first place, e.g. what he did to be sent there, and there is very little context to what exactly happened there, other than it being an unhappy and possibly traumatic experience for him.

From what we know, he apparently broke his legs somehow during his second night there, and possibly even every night there. He might also be claustrophobic as a result of this. Since this backstory was mostly dropped after Q's first couple of livestream appearances, and it was mostly played for laughs than for drama, it is unknown how canonical this backstory is.

There are 4 main mysteries related to this potential backstory:

As mentioned above, what did he do to get sent to juvie in the first place?

How did the leg-breaking thing even happen? There is literally zero context to how that could have happened. And every night? Who is doing this? What kind of juvie is this? Can someone please shut it down?

If this backstory were to be played dead-seriously in the current lore and plotlines, how could this have impacted him? Especially because of, you know, the Pandora's Vault arc that we have going on at present?

How was he able to contact the Triple Ts to do their "drug cartel" thing before he even joined the server? Since he was apparently, you know, in jail at the time.

Backstory B: Minecr@ft Mondays

(See video version here.)

As far as I am aware, MCM was first mentioned in the Manburg Festival stream (a year ago to this day, i.e. the day I am posting this), when c!Q explained briefly how his fear of c!Techno to the point of having a breakdown came to be. Later the same day, i.e. the same stream, c!Schlatt mentioned how he and c!Techno "go way back", citing MCM Week 6 as part of their shared pre-SMP backstory.

Later in November (real-life time), c!Q clarified how he and c!Techno first met through MCM Week 1, explaining how he hadn't heeded JunkyJanker's warning about c!Techno's rightful reputation in PVP and then getting slaughtered to the point of allegedly having PTSD. Some of you may know that stream as the one where c!Techno had his infamous 'hunters and prey' speech, by the way.

In December (real-life time), c!Q cited MCM-trauma as one of his more personal reasons for hunting c!Techno down as part of the Butcher Army. The content creators then joked about them making MCM canon to the DSMP, and while the content creators were lighthearted about it, MCM therefore became a dead-serious, fully-fledged part of the DSMP lore.

I'm not 100% sure if other Weeks of MCM are considered canonical (they might be), but there's solid confirmation to how Weeks 1 and 6 are specified to be canon. cc!Q participated in Weeks 1, 2, 6, 8, and 12 of MCM, but since I cannot find the kill records of Weeks 8 and 12, let's hypothetically take those off the list for Q-and-Techno encounters (for now, I might return if/when I get more data). In MCM Week 2, the two did not actively interact (i.e. kill each other) at any point, which leaves us with Weeks 1 and 6, and wouldn't you know it — those are the two Weeks where Quackity got murked "so many times".

Week 1: Q's deaths in Rounds 6 and 8 are both attributed to Techno, but the one in Round 8 was actually death-by-border, which doesn't really count. Round 6, however, Techno just hunted Q down to the point he had no way out, border or enchanted diamond sword to the torso. (Techno POV + Quackity POV)

Week 6: Unlike the earliest MCM Weeks, this one only had Hunger Games in Rounds 1 and 9 (beginning and end), and not every single round. Q also happened to get knocked out of the game by Techno in both rounds. (Round 1: (Quackity POV + Techno POV) (Round 9: Quackity POV + Techno POV)

I was a little skeptical at first that one encounter would lead to enough trauma to have a PTSD diagnosis, but after remembering and looking up Week 6, then taking that into consideration as well, I am not quite as skeptical of the PTSD claim anymore.

And here are an additional 6 mysteries, or details that make the MCM encounters angstier (excluding anything related to inter-worldly canon life-counts):

Schlatt was teamed with Techno during Week 6, meaning c!Q also knew him at least in passing before all three of them joined the DSMP at different times (excluding the possibility of SMP Live being canon, which opens up a different can of worms that I am not equipped to deal with). Now recall c!Q and c!Schlatt interacting again on the DSMP… no, I am not happy about this. Especially bearing in mind Schlatt during Round 9 of Week 6 (see link).

During Week 6 Round 1, after spotting Q + JunkyJanker, Techno decided to go after them and avoid Yammy and her teammate because the latter two were "sentient players". In other words… ouch.

On a funnier note, right after killing Q (in Week 6 Round 1), Techno got border-killed. TAKE THAT! Karma went and collected his debt, I suppose. /lh

Q getting bonked in Week 6 Round 9 took place in the water. If we are going with the Duck Hybrid theory that canon has provided crumbs of possible supporting evidence… ouch. Again.

On a side note, could MCM and related tournaments have caused trauma in other characters in the DSMP-verse?

Also, multiple other content creators who are now part of the DSMP also participated in MCM, e.g. Philza, Connor, BBH, Skeppy, even Dream at one point. Would MCM be counted as part of their backstories as well? How can we explain their participation in the event while still adhering to their respective canon backstories?

Compare and Contrast

It is unlikely for both of these backstories to work at the same time, due to their overlapping time frames. There is one exception to this, however, it's that c!Q was either let out of jail early, or was let out temporarily to participate in MCM for whatever reason.

The only thing that these two backstories have in common is that c!Q allegedly had PTSD from both (A and B), though we don't know if that was an official diagnosis or a self-diagnosis (for better or worse). So either way, cc!Quackity decided that he was gonna give his character canonical trauma the moment he stepped on the SMP, and then just rolled with it until the boulder was hurling unstoppably down the mountain slope.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2599

yall so close to 2600 i cannot belIEVE

today what did i do. i got up on time, i went in for class and then work, i missed a few students who didn't show, i worked with three i think, i talked to my therapist, and then i went home in a great deal of pain. i stopped at starbucks to get a cocoa to help ease the cramping, but it only helped for like five minutes. got home and told my group i was in pain and i just wasn't gonna be able to participate today. so i laid in bed in pain that radiated all the way up my back into my shoulders while i willed it to go away. eventually it went down a little bit, but not until after my mom brought up the packages that came in today, which were my see's chocolate and my torrid order, which i totally forgot about. i also forgot about my boxlunch order until just now, and i should get that on Friday. i have a lot of things to pick up. i need to make a list.

anyway, i eventually got out of bed and went downstairs and my mom scratched my head and rubbed my back for a bit and it was really nice because i was just. in so much pain. i eventually grabbed the bucket of m&ms and we snacked on some of those, and idk what's in them if it's like, Something Illegal™ or something, but it made me feel way better. which was nice. i could actually sit up. that was good.

made myself some mac n cheese and watched tv and eventually also finished rewriting my notes from astrophysics so i could post them, and then i went to look at and fill out the reflection but it was just the answers for the last problem set under the post that said reflection, so that was annoying.

i know there's quite a lot of energy more that i need to put into this one class, but right now, i don't wanna do that. and it's okay, i can always pick up the effort the week after next. so yeah,

i talked to joel a little bit and he kinda checked in on my to see if i was okay, which was nice. he's a good egg. he cares a lot about me, and while he has his own way of showing it, he still does.

before coming to bed i grabbed a bagel and toasted it and that was really good. now i'm in bed and rose is planning more of her trip out here and i'm super excited for saturday and i still need to pack and stuff.

but also i got to talk to FF today, this morning. they said the tiny sand bottle was adorable. and i just jdjfjsjfhwifhjsnf. i just adore them. we talked for a little bit in the morning and then some more this afternoon when i was dying of pain. i like getting to talk to them. doesn't matter what time for me, but i want to make sure they get good enough sleep and that they sleep early enough, because 2am is late. 1am is late. so i'm exhausted. so it's sleepy time, and i'm gonna be happy to talk to them again tomorrow.

☺️🥱😴

[combeauferre]

9, 15 or 44 for the writing prompts (or all combined👀)

9 - there’s only one bed and we sleep as far away as possible from each other but wake up cuddling 

15 - drunkenly confessing feelings

44 - i’m your new neighbour and i got locked out, help!

The first time Dan meets Phil, he’s not impressed. It’s 11pm, he’s tired, and he’s settling down in bed to browse the internet for a few hours. He’s comfortable, and he doesn’t have any reason to move. Until he hears the doorbell go. 

He groans as loud as he can, loud enough that he hopes the person at the door can hear him, and trudges out in his pyjamas. When he opens the door, he doesn’t recognise the person stood outside. 

“Hi,” the person says sheepishly. “I’m new here. Phil. I uh. Locked myself out.” 

Dan tries his best not to huff. He really does. But he is so tired, and the last thing he wanted was to have to ring his landlord for someone else’s fucking problem. The sigh leaves his mouth before he can stop it, and he immediately feels guilty. Phil’s face drops and he begins to mumble apologies after apologies. He didn’t mean to lock himself out, Dan supposes. He grumbles something about it being okay, and begrudgingly sits down next to Phil on the floor outside his door to wait for the landlord. 

-

He wishes it wasn’t true, but Dan really is growing fond of Phil. He’d brought Dan some chocolates and fancy coffee to make up for the locked out incident, and since then they see each other a lot. If one of them is going to the shop, they ask the other if they need anything. They get each other’s post if they’re going to the lobby. They say good morning when they pass each other. And Dan can’t pretend that Phil isn’t cute as fuck. Maybe he has a bit of a crush. But just a tiny one. 

Phil: Dan I’m so sorry you won’t believe what’s happened

Dan rolls his eyes. It’s 1am, and he’s not sure he’s ready for the story. 

Dan: what did u do 

Phil: Locked myself out again :( 

Dan: ffs 

“I’m not ringing John again,” Dan says as he opens the door to find Phil stood there. 

“What am I gonna do?” Phil asks, from where he’s slumped by his door. Dan rolls his eyes. 

“Come in, idiot.” 

Dan only has chairs in his apartment, and no sofa, so he tells Phil he can join Dan in his bed. There’s no real problem with it, he decides, as long as they stay as far away from each other as possible. Which they do, within the confines of Dan’s duvet. 

When Dan wakes up in the morning, he’s sweaty. Sweaty and warm, and there’s another body pressed up against him. His legs are tangled into Phil’s, he can feel his hair twitch with Phil’s breath, and his own forehead is tucked into the crook of Phil’s neck. He’s comfortable, more comfortable than he’d like to admit. And he doesn’t want to move. 

When Phil stirs, his arms tighten around Dan’s body and he murmurs a “gmorning”, a hand finding its way into Dan’s hair and scratching there. Dan sighs and mutters a good morning as well, and they begrudgingly shuffle apart as they wake up. 

- 

Dan: wanna get drunk 

Phil: What’s the occasion? 

Dan: i got fired 

Phil buys some cheap vodka and coke from the shop before he heads to Dan’s apartment. Dan looks tired but indifferent as he opens the door, and welcomes Phil in gladly. 

“What happened?” Phil asks as he follows Dan through to the kitchen. 

“I failed another mystery shopper,” Dan says with a shrug. “The guy looked about thirty, I don’t know how the fuck he was seventeen.” He sighs. “They said I won’t get fined since I lost the job, at least.” 

He gets them each a glass and they sit down on the floor in Dan’s lounge, drinking way too strong vodka cokes. Somewhere through the night, Dan starts to cry. 

“What if I can’t find another job?” he sniffs. “I gotta pay my fucking rent.” 

“Dan, you will,” Phil says with a slur. “Come here.” He pats his lap and Dan moves without any more encouragement, bracketing Phil’s legs with his own as he flops down on to Phil. 

“You’re pretty,” he says sadly as he looks down at his hands. Phil laughs. 

“You’re pretty,” he counters. Dan rolls his eyes. 

“No, Phil. You are pretty.” He pokes at Phil’s chest. “And you’re funny. I wanted to fucking hate you when we met. You and your fucking keys.” 

Phil laughs. 

“I still feel bad,” he says, pushing Dan’s chest back. 

“Don’t,” Dan says with a shrug. “Liked meeting you. Like you, Phil.” 

“Like you too, Dan.” 

“No,” Dan says, shaking his head. “Like you, Phil. Wanna kiss you ‘n shit.” 

Phil laughs. 

“Wanna kiss you too.” 

Dan looks up at him a little dazed, and leans forward without a second thought. It’s a sloppy kiss, and it turns into sloppy making out. But that’s okay. There’s time for good kissing once they’re sober. 

[alyssaisawkward]

me talking about how i feel bad for my brothers gf

*15 minutes ago* im listening to someone posting britney spears' "hit me baby one more time" and my brother comes in and was like 'hey i need ur help this aint the time to joke around' so im like.. tryna pause the song.. turns out his gf's mom was like 'idc if its 1am u comin home' mind his gf (her names kyla) was super tired and ian (my brother) is lowkey worried and he said 'she fell asleep in the car' so shes clearly exhausted but her mom doesnt care shes like nah u comin home but kylas phone is super dumb and always shuts off, etc. so she couldnt really use/rely on it for directions to get home (like a 2-3 hr drive bc she lives a state away) so she wouldnt get home till probably 330-430 am (a solo, tired female) as you can see this is not cool. so anyway i helped him and got some directions printed and idk whats happening i hope her mom can realize its just not safe. my brother said 'its about respect' but tbh id rather be disrespected but my kid safe than being respected and them go get lost or get in an accident. shes really upset rn and trying to convince her mom but its not like theyre some crazy teens (well theyre teens still but like they aint crazy) and she just needs to sleep here. it doesnt have to be in the same bed as my brother like fr. she can sleep on the couch or in the cabin (like an outdoor kitchen) or something. ffs she could sleep in my bed idfc but i feel so terrible because i can tell shes really upset and tired and doesnt wanna drive a 2-3hr drive home alone. maybe ian can drive her but that puts him getting back at like 7am so... idk..so anyway hows yall thanksgiving break going? :c

[pulseofabeatingheart]

Hello Tumblr

It's been a while. Mostly because my last rant got deleted before I could post it. Now I'm here because well I'm struggling I guess.

Med school: I've attended 20% of things this semester. My exam is in 8 days and I'm basically unprepared and can't cram 16 weeks of content into a week. So I'm screwed. Ps get medical degrees right? Well let's hope so because it'll be a miracle if I actually pass. I remember years ago I was so driven towards this. I was so excited when I got in. And now I don't even want to go. Ever. But that's just how I feel about life at the moment. I'd rather just stay in bed. Even going to the gym is hard which for me is not a good sign. Women's rotation has been shit. I hate the whole needing to sign things off as you go and the accountability. I think I went really severely down hill with this rotation, it's a miracle ive gotten anything signed off. But then again there is a pile of medical certificates too.

Relationship: our wedding is in 19 days. That's less than 3 weeks. And as much as I can't wait I'm also so fricking pissed because it doesn't feel like it's happening. We've been engaged for like 6 months and I haven't been invited over once with my family. Despite everything we've done for his. This intercultural relationship meant I've had to jump through flames to get to this point and yet I seriously feel there's so much he's not willing to do for me. I can ask things of him and not have them fought for and I still don't know how I feel about it. I just don't understand. I see all these girls get married and getting treated like a princess by their in laws but with me it's like my family and I don't exist to the them and I'm so angry about it. And every time I bring it up with him he makes me feel bad, like he can't handle being in the middle and just dealing with some shit for once. Ffs. Still stuck in this shitty position and still don't know what to do

Family: My mum has been better finally, mostly. Besides her snide comments here and there. Despite learning how to take the shit I think it still hurts, chips away at this fragile armour I wrap myself with. Caught between wanting to make her happy always no matter what and also getting emotionally berated all the time. She's amazing though. My dad is a bit weird. He's gotten more grumpy the closer the wedding gets, maybe he's just gonna miss me. Sometimes he's fine with everything other times he's throwing insults around. He's been forgetting a bit more recently, not everything just sometimes I feel like he doesn't know whats going on or he's slower than usual. It breaks my heart but I don't know what to do. He's always waiting to die. Says it every day. I know my brother is pissed about that. Like how do you say that to your kids. Do we really not bring you any sort of joy or atleast reinforce your will to live? I don't know. I miss my sister. And her son. They fill up this house with life. And she is the sweetest person alive. I want to be there for her like I used to. Have fun with her and be silly together. Have baby cuddles. Dont think too much about what you can't have

Depression: not sure if worse or I'm just sick and that's making it worse. I'm so emotional fragile all the time. I hate it. I just want to not wake up. I've been sleeping in till late afternoon recently. I've been so exhausted. I've done a bunch of tests in the hopes that it's a medical thing. I need an answer. Otherwise I'm just lazy and well depressed. Again. Feel like I'm drowning a little. I have so many reasons to be happy but Im not. Not sure what to do about that either

Any advice welcome ♥️

1am. Really need to sleep x