#it hurts worse today
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It runs in the family
#an art#super danganronpa 2#sdr2#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#peko pekoyama#Fuyupeko#Kuzupeko#Thinking about them and their terrible childhood today. Kind of terrible lives in general huh#Neither of them could help each other when things got dicey in the household#Peko because the Kuzuryūs are NOT afraid to 'discipline' her. Fuyuhiko because it literally only makes things worse.#Both of them because if they show off how close they are the agents might rethink keeping Peko around. So they grit their teeth and bear it#I somewhat hc that the parents also aren't above involving the other in a punishment. Like.#Fuyuhiko can take a beating but he hates seeing Peko be hurt. Same for her. So if they REALLY wanna beat a lesson into one of them.... ykno#BUT THATS SAD. SO I ADDED THE NICE PICTURE AFTERWARDS#Child abuse cw#Cw child abuse
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ok so, i have been in france mountain biking for quite a while so haven't had access to any aerial equipment so i couldnt practice and, having had a wonderful time at the circus/stunt class, i vaguely forgot that, 'hey, that shit hurts' so i subsequently woke up yesterday and damn my ribs ache from flinging myself down the stairs a few too many times
omg y'all the stunt class was awesome
first session was spanish web, second was acro/parkour, third was the star of the show: stuntwork
we did your classic slapping, punching, kicking, which was really fun and i went all out on the reactions which was honestly exhausting, and then my teacher (who is a stuntwoman) brought some of her training katanas and a training pistol (training = not real or sharp, model with weight to it) and we swept each others legs out from under each other with katanas and shot each other in the head
best bit was that we made a staircase out of crashmats which we shot each other off or slapped each other down eastenders-style. it was so weird to hear yells of, 'please shoot me off the staircase!'
#it hurts worse today#it shouldn't work like that#although tbf i doubt the tom grennan concert was exactly beneficial#its not the most relaxing thing i could have done...
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post that reads like a mood swing
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i'm actually a depressed lab rat experiment and witch hat kitchen is the drug they feed me to measure the responses#this is volume 4 of kitchen themed. “i always make time for the kids!” “oh olly!” sounds like a black and white old sitcom#where there'd be an 'awwwwww' audience sound reaction. Like uhhhh. None of this is NORMAL!!!!!!#at first today i was thinking how olly has the kind of childhood trauma that gradually gets better with age though it leaves scars#but qifrey has the kind of trauma that gets worse as time goes by. It hurts! Let's get drunk tho on our fruity vintages in the cellar#and chat all night long about how cool our kids are? And- oh youve fallen asleep. *puts a blanket over you* I wanted to talk more#but there'll always be more. at least - that is my wish.#i'm trying to savour kitchen and just read a bit every day so i dont OVERDOSE and DIE.#i literally dont even drink or care for alcohol. like love it is a concept to me
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Chronic pain husk,, save me chronic pain husk,,,,
Days where he leans on the bar more than usual. Flying up/down the stairs being preferred over the pain in his knees, even though it feels as though even his feathers hurt after doing so. Sitting down hurts as much as standing so may as well just do his job to distract himself,,,
#drag rambles#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#my leg hurts like a Bitch today can you tell#to be clear I am not diagnosed w shit#however I do know my right leg has been fucked for years#motherfucker hurts at all times I stg#and left is starting to get worse#so#I'm giving the cat my problems ✨
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Worst thing about making tattoo artist characters is you have to make so many tattoos for them.
#i definitely described their crow tattoo as old school and this definitely isn’t but nobody's read that bit so#anyway#ink#colourpwncil#posca#sketchbook#my art#feelings about them again. at like. 37k words of their story. why is it so much easier and faster to write fic than original stuff?#anyway no good art today because my head and hands and arms hurt because of the fucking sun that evil piece of celestial shit#(i am allergic. meds make it worse. fuck the sun.)
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Oops, I might've overestimated how well I can deal w my sickness while working...
#yesterday wasn't that bad and I was feeling pretty good. Only got a lil worse at around 7 pm. But still managed to finish my shift#Today tho....#I'm feeling fine but my throat hurts and it is hard for me to talk. And ofc I only found out how my voice sounded when I was already at wor#So yeah erm...#I do have a person to cover for me for today tho so! That is cool#But she might only wake up at around 1 pm. And it's 9 am rn....#But I'll prolly just call her. Sorry bestie for waking you up like this 💔
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I was thinking about this while falling asleep last night so I want to try and untangle the web Bad has been spinning to better understand what he’s doing cuz in some aspects it seems completely random and disconnected
Bad’s plan rn is to disseminate a bunch of different - at times contradictory- information across the island and watch how it spreads. The goal of this is two fold; to discover who is trustworthy and to find the (probably unknowing) federation spy.
His plan began way back with the magma cube prank. At the time he said he wanted to pin the prank on the fed to turn everyone against them but… the way he went about it didn’t make sense? Giving a cube to everyone at once pretty much confirmed it was a prank - fit recognized that immediately - as well as writing the books in French and Portuguese. Not to mention Tina would clock him immediately since he pulled this prank on her before. So what was the point?
So Bad could watch/listen to the islanders as they tried to figure out who it was. Many of them immediately clocked bbh for a number of different reasons and he confessed to several different people (mainly the French) that it was indeed him. He could watch the web of information spread to discover who talked to who and who could keep secrets.
Over the last few weeks Bad’s been much more subtle with this. He’s told conflicting information about various things to a bunch of people - telling some people he is the one responsible for the mines at spawn and others that he isn’t - and the web has just gotten more and more complex.
Then on top of all of this, he’s testing people with very specific and unique obstacles.
Bagi’s test was the first one I noticed several days ago and is what got me paying closure attention. Bad pretty much explained it yesterday but I’ll recap. He knew Bagi was worried about him so he told her he was seeing a ghost (which was true) and asked her to keep it a secret. She did not - as Bad predicted - and you can tell in the conversation that Bad knew she didn’t and was giving her the opportunity to come clean - which she did. He praised her and thanked her out of no where for keeping this secret (I thought this was weird at the time, the way he was talking, and this is why) and she told him that she didn’t. This proved to Bad that Bagi was more interested in being honest then trusted which meant that she passed the test.
The next obvious one is Baghera. Bad is testing Baghera’s resolve and trust. He showed her Ron knowing full well that Baghera could have turned on him and tried to interfere but he trusted that her sense of justice and care for him would balance out and that she’d find a solution where they both would be happy. He knows he is hurting her but it’s necessary in his eyes.
Then is Forever. This one is a bit more tricky. I don’t think Bad has really started testing Forever before the gun theft. This felt like an improvised test to see how far Bad could gaslight and push Forever before Forever gave up on their relationship. The gun was returned before we reached that point but there was another immediate point of contention that - again - was out of Bad’s control. Tubbo. Forever correctly believing Tubbo that bbh kidnapped the worker was the pay off for Bad’s previous abuse. Forever doesn’t believe a thing that comes out of Bad’s mouth anymore. The nail in the coffin for this test is Forever thinking that Bad is ill and needs to be saved, which means Bad is probably never going to bring Forever into his plans like he did Baghera. Forever wants to save him but Bad doesn’t want to be saved. He walked into this hell with eyes wide open and it’s far too late to turn back.
Aypierre’s test began yesterday. Not only did Bad “confess” to having a fed worker in his custody, he also tasked Aypierre with spying on Tubbo. Bad trusts the French as a whole more than anyone on the island (I’ll come back to foolish in a minute) and he knows that Aypierre, Antoine, and Etoiles would either be ambivalent or positive about the man in Bad’s basement. Bad would never straight up confess to this crime “I would never touch the federation” but he’s willing to confirm their suspicions. He also told Aypierre to be wary because someone is protecting Forever and… I’m pretty sure this is a lie. A lie to test what Aypierre does. Who does he tell. If the feds find out and start snooping. I think Aypierre’s test is to prove without a doubt if he can be trusted/who he trusts and that he isn’t a fed plant/hasn’t been bugged.
Lastly, and most interestingly, we have Foolish. Foolish is the only one Bad has told everything to. Sure, it’s through three layers of obscurity and metaphor but these two only know how to communicate through mind games. Bad knows how intelligent Foolish is and he knows what Foolish wants. Yes Foolish is a snitch but he has no loyalties to the fed, only to his family and himself. Foolish would be the obvious spy but Bad knows Foolish is just chasing the rush of excitement and entertainment and that watching Bad stop holding back is prime time entertainment. He knows Foolish will eventually turn him over to the feds but that’s what Bad wants. Foolish will be up front about it and will want a front row seat so if Bad gets arrested without the fan fair, then it proves that someone else is the puppet (if bad gets arrested at all)
Lastly lastly, I think Bad has caught onto the fact that the federation doesn’t want to touch him. First giving him a slap on the wrist for griefing the presidential office then warning workers to stay away from him instead of removing him as a threat. Bad wants to push them. Ever since Tubbo spilled the beans about the worker going missing, Bad has been acting so much more suspicious and threatening than before. He’s intentionally making himself look more guilty without out right stating that he is guilty. The federation has to know it’s him right? They have all the pieces they had to have been able to put it together so why? Why haven’t they acted?
Well, Foolish promised Bad he’d be getting arrested soon and Bad keeps making himself look more sus to Tubbo who has a friend in the fed - who resembles the exact person Bad wants to nab - so Bad is also probably keeping an eye on Tubbo if he snitches (which he did lol). If the federation continues to do nothing that’ll give Bad massive leverage over them while also giving him another mystery to solve.
Bad said his plan is almost complete, he just needs a few more pieces to fall into place before he can find the puppet and follow its strings back to its master. I have no idea what’s going to happen or what pieces need to fall into place but i am so curious to see what he does next. Is capturing Fred still part of his plans? Is he still banking on getting put in jail? How is he going to narrow down who is the puppet when he hasn’t tested more than half of the server? Hopefully we’ll get some answers today.
#qsmp#crimson speaks#badboyhalo#I am eppy#because I was think about this all night#XD#there’s probably things I missed#but that’s fine#I’m excited for today#this web he’s spinning is so fascinating#he’s a spider trying to catch a specific fly#but he doesn’t know which fly is the correct one#and he isn’t afraid of trapping/hurting innocent flies in the process#he’s so messed up#and I want him to keep getting worse#lmao
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an hour and a half longer and then I get to go home... please....
#why does it feel so much worse today 😭😭😭#(it's because it's the last day of my work week)#and I'm having stupid stomach cramps and my feet hurt and I wanna go home and jerk off in peace#PLEASE#bitts posts
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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity#and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently#just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle#my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really#can barely even hold my phone to type rn#i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult#and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling#and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles#but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful#this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife#when the pain is so bad im dissociating#which i was#switched to sanding instead then#idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm#there is no norm just rapid decline#i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next#oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway#what else can you fucking do#spindle making#whittling#supported spindle#vent in tags
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every time i have a bad pain night i make nova's powers a little scarier & then subject devin to them extensively in my brain. we here at crimeronan.gov stan spousal abuse 🙏🙏🙏
#if anyone even thinks about inboxing me taking that last bit seriously i'll kill you. i Hurt Too Much. Not Today.#anyway. i was thinking about the logistics of illusion magic specifically#are you actually making light?? or are you tricking people into thinking they see light??#i think for most magicians it's the former. but being a god grants you access to horror powers#if you can hack someone's eyes then you can hack the rest of their senses too.#kill their pain (yay!) or make or make it worse (no!)#create a doppelgänger whose touch feels real and have a threesome. if you want.#never mind that your spouse is repulsed by said doppelgänger and Will freak the fuck out if it touches them.#i will probably not write this into the canon. but i will think about it!#there's a knife in my right eye. i deserve to kick the shit out of the OCs#nova#original fiction#devin and nova#abuse
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hi fam !!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#mikey welsh#ahhh omg :( i just fumbled so bad socially#and i just need to like. never speak again i feel.#and i’m trying to comfort myself because like. my friend started talking badly about me#and said i only use her to vent which makes me sad because i didn’t think that was true and i try to do sm for her#i made physics study guides for her ; compliment her when she posts ; and post her on my story a lot and always wave to her and talk to her#and i dunno. it makes me sad to think that but i can’t help it; you know? i just need to be alone sometimes and not speak to anyone#and it isn’t like i don’t wanna be her friend ; of course i do but like. it just hurts my heart she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore#and it hurts my heart so bad and i dunno what im meant to do. and yesterday i had a party#and i said a bad joke in front of the wrong people and i just. accidentally embarrassed one of my good friends and i feel so bad#and everyone js went quiet and it’s just. i feel awful and need to be like. beheaded.#and i try to comfort myself like oh it’s okay. today is a new day. but today i feel even worse about it and there’s nothing i can do#to fix this; like on one hand THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX MY BLUNDER!!! but on the other hand; there’s nothing i can do and i have left#my imprint in their minds and it’s so bad. i wish i was like. dead or something; yk? like not even weezer can make me feel better and it#sucks so badly . i wish i could just not think anymore and ignore everything in my life. i just hate myself so badly right now ; and i can’t#even be sure that i’m gonna be better cuz i just lack so much social awareness. i wish#i was more socially aware . i just hate when i get too comfortable. i wish i awkwardly sat in the corner and#didn’t speak to anybody the entire night to spare myself from any awkwardness. i hate parties!! i shouldn’t have gone :(#SORRY FOR THR BENT POST I JS NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE AND LIKE. GET KT OHT YK?#it’s just so. ahhh i hate everything sm rn :( but liek me and the friend joke like that all the time and idk. im just. :( i feel terrible#and i’ve apologized and he said it was okay but embarrassing cuz some ppl looked at him for his reaction#and i dunno. i just feel awful and need to just. focus solely on academics until my brain is fried and i can’t function or something !
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'you were raised with an angry man in your house. there will always be an angry man in your house. you will find him even when he is not there.'
#oh shepard siblings#thinking about curly angela n tim today#the comparisons to the curtis family write themselves#tragedy n poverty n violence n loss n the only difference is those who were raised with love n those who werent#oh curtis family who could have gotten out#oh shepard family who never could#which hurts worse?#curly shepard#angela shepard#tim shepard#the outsiders#the curtis brothers#the outsiders aesthetic#bro puts it together
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Feel free to ignore this, yapping into the void makes me feel better
Bros... The day I had went from good, to eh, to wtf
Even my own body tried to kill me today what /hj
#Vent warning#Because complaining makes me feel better :P#My luck strikes again....#I knew I had too many good things happening too many times in a row without back falls UAGHHHHH#RELEASE MEEEE I DON'T WANT THE BAD LUCK DAYS PLEASEEEEEE#Also legit feared for my life for a good 20 minutes but I'm okay#Stupid ah went into shock seeing blood where there shouldn't have been#Feinted in the shower but didn't get a concussion when I hit my head yippie#I literally felt like the whole world was upside down when I fell#I am so smart I turned off the water before blacking out hehe#also immediately went to unlock the door when I woke up#Shout out to the bestie/roommate for talking about anything else to help me recuperate and not freaking out about my state#accidentally flashed her oops#Almost feinted again at seeing the blood still appearing but I pulled through like a G#Also what I mean by everything trying to get me today#Choked on water like 3 times throughout the day#The room divider almost completely fell on me#The PMS PAINS#And TMI body issues that caused the blood yay#Said issues causing discomfort all day and last night uaghhh only 3 hours of sleeeeeep#Class wise and productivity wise twas a good day it was smooth and I had fun drawing#My overall safety 💥💥💥💥💥 uogh#Honestly i'm surprised I don't hurt anywhere from falling#Praise be that I dropped myself on my head repeatedly as a child#I'm not gonna die we chilling#It's not that serious of issues I've been through way worse#Going back to being happi and drawing now it's all in the void#cw blood#tw blood#Vent
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Called off work 👍
#the nice thing is that normally I'd get in trouble for calling off so much but since im transferring departments in a week nobody cares 👍#but also i really just need it off lol#my mouth hurts even worse today lol
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#another one of those days#i don't know how to do this#depression#is really really bad today#i did have three kinda good days soo i guess it's time to feel shitty again huh#i'm not going to hurt myself#it won't change anything or help at all it only would make things worse#but how the fuck am i supposed to live like this?#i don't know what to do#i miss therapy but i have no finds to go back#the meds i'm on don't seem to do shit#nothing i try helps#and it feels like a personal failure#i have gotten help and lots of it#so why do i keep falling into this pit over and over again?#i should have learned how to help myself by now
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@aluminum-angels i made an entire doodle page just to prove a point
Their relationships do not fail, they get along just fine and they love each other very much
Peace and love among my rw ocs
#auugh you people will not belive the shit i've been through today#ok so basically i was grabbing some food out and i sprinkle the cheese and im like huh this cheese kinda stale#so i give it a sniff and it STINKS and im like aw fuck well its already on my food so uhhh in the microwave this all goes maybe it will be#ok after its heated but SPOILERS it does not and actually now it smells worse so im over here trying to figure out if its worth to eat this#thing and if it will taste as bad as it smells luckly it tatsed just fine but auughh couldnt breathe while eating that but it doesnt end#there because after gulping all that stuff down suddenly everytime i breathed i could smell that stuff augh it was horrible#worst decision of my life so i needed a cure for this rancid ass stench so my lord and and saviour garlic comes in to save me#and you can just chew on that stuff no one will stop you (altho maybe someone should because eating garlic raw kinda hurts)#anyways posion neutralised but i am rather weary of cheese now#rain world#iterator#rain world oc#iterator oc#oc four blue flames#oc vision of a past#drawins
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