#it hurts to not be understood

[icaninternetfangirl]

not being listened to does something so strange to the mind.

it got to the point where i think it’s is better to stop myself from saying anything because i know i wont be understood. it builds this weird mix of resentment, anger, shame, hurt and desperation. i wanted to be heard and accepted so bad that i literally started to scream. i think subconsciously i was trying to force my way into something i felt shut out of. Then i was shown that i was banging on a wall. I was (am????) in an environment where i can’t be right. So i shouted, and then i tried to whisper. But i wasn’t really whispering, my throat was hoarse and i am weary. I am looking for my voice.

i am lost in translation. i am trying very hard to not be lost.

[iphigeniacomplex]

it’s very easy to tell the good satires and pastiches from the bad ones because the bad ones are too afraid to live within the form. like if you are doing work with fairy tales and you are refusing to look closer at the underlying logic and unspoken rules of what can seem at first to be a senseless form, you are not going to create meaningful work. to borrow a turn of phrase originally used by maria tatar, if you refuse to enter “the house of fairy tale” as anything more than a gawking tourist, you will miss the particular order to the way the table is set, the rooms that are locked vs the rooms that are simply difficult to enter, the set of the floorboards and the position of the furniture. whatever you build will then be a gilded imitation of how you believe the house of fairy tale ought to look, the table set according to your educated specifications and every door open. there can be no interrogation of themes from a writer who views the form as beneath them!

[dovewingkinnie]

au where evan finds out what william did to cassidy

[ghurab-alzilal]

The Limit of Love

Raven: Would you help me if I was hurt?

Damian: Definitely.

Raven: Would you help me if I was dying?

Damian: I'd give up all of me for you.

Raven: Would you avenge me if you couldn't save me?

Damian: In a flicker.

Raven: So...

Raven: Can I borrow your Redbird for a while?

Damian, roundly : Never.

[ssruis]

I think tsukasa should lose his voice for like a week & he has to do increasingly complicated charades trying to get his points about the next show across. Nene is briefly like this is an improvement until she realizes that it’s actually more embarrassing to be seen with him in public because he’s doing the most bizarre hand and body movements to convey his ideas & he looks like a lunatic. Emu is wildly off base with all of her interpretations to the point where she’s very clearly just throwing out her own ideas of what she wants to do for the show and pretending that’s what tsukasa means. Rui understands tsukasa perfectly but pretends he doesn’t to irritate him - “oh? You want to do the idea where you have to escape from a box filled with water?” (Tsukasa frantically shaking his head) “And you’re giving me free reign for all the stunts? How generous!” - & suggests replacing his vocal chords with a mechanical substitute. Nene finally puts him out of his misery by telling him to just text them in the group chat & giving him the citrus tea she made in curtain call.

[t1sunfortunate]

I truly do think one of the largest pitfalls among the "media consumption is my passion" crowd is the tendency to treat characters as human beings with agency rather than narrative tools manipulated by the author

[kirby-the-gorb]

[introspectivememories]

tim and bernard who break up and it's nothing big, no one cheated or anything. it's just their lifestyles didn't work out well together. tim cannot give up vigilantism currently and bear cannot handle the level of danger tim puts himself in. and on the other hand, tim cannot handle the fact that bear chooses to run into danger as an emt bc he already worries about everything but now he has to worry if he'll find his boyfriend convulsing from fear gas in a random alley but also bear who felt the life drain out of darla cannot stand the thought of not helping people and runs headfirst into dangerous situation after dangerous situation hoping that every person he saves can somehow make up for the fact that he could not save darla.

(he very pointedly does not think about the fact that there was nothing he could do because if he thinks about that, he'll spiral until they have to lock him in arkham too)

and so they break up but they were tim & bernard in high school and when they started dating they balanced out the worst of each other and they became tim&bernard. and everyone who knows them, knows that they're better together but they cant be together, they refuse actually because they cannot lose another person to the violence of gotham and by the time they figure out that they cant work together as long as the other is an emt or vigilante, it's too late for both them. they've already left too many pieces of themselves in each other.

tim still knows what bear means when he says "tim" in that exasperated voice. tim still goes boneless when he hears bear say "baby" in that firm tone. bear can still read tim like a book. he still knows the right way to massage tim's neck so that tim can go to sleep. everyone at the first responders gala knows not to bother ceo drake-wayne and senior emt dowd when they're talking.

(and if they're standing a little too close to each other than what is normal, who are they to judge? everyone knows that dowd and drake-wayne have history)

and if everyone on the night shift has caught red robin with his head tucked into the crook of emt dowd's neck as emt dowd runs a soothing hand up and down the vigilante's back, well then, they just quietly back away.

(after all, dowd's one of like, five, emts that can get the bats to receive medical treatment so if turning a blind eye to whatever the fuck they have going on is what allows them to give back to their heroes, then the night shift will do it every time)

and of course, tim and bear are practical people. they loved (love) each other sure, but when your lives are fundamentally incompatible, well, you cant get too stuck on the what-ifs, that's for sure. and so they do find love with other people and yeah, maybe it's not what they expected love to be when they first fell in love with each other. it's not the bubbly, stomach-swoopy, cant stop grinning, feeling that permeated tim&bernard's early days or the i Know you/you Know me that was their middle or the quiet despair that was their end but it is contentment. and in a life with as many losses as theirs, contentment is something they hold dearly

and they're happy! truly! but sometimes, at galas when they're making each other snort champagne out their noses or in darkened alleyways when their clothes are both stained with blood or at rallies for stricter gun regulations in gotham where they both sit too close to each other, fingers enclosed around each other in a death grip, when the presenters inevitably bring up grieves

(worst school shooting in gotham in decades, there's blood on their hands and blood in their mouths and darla is dead in between both of them and there is a chasm so wide that they are screaming to get their voices across and she will always be dead and maybe this had always been the problem that she is dead and there is no coming back from that and that there is blood on their hands and blood in their mouth and blood on their han-)

but sometimes, most especially on opposite sides of the street, as life pulls them in different directions, just sometimes, they see each other and just for a second, nothing too long, the flap of a hummingbird's wings, the time it takes to blink, an electron's orbital, they look at each other and for the briefest moment, blue on brown, a barely noticeable stutter in their steps, the space between heartbeats, because this is all they will give themselves because they do not dwell on what-ifs or what-could-have-beens, or what-should-have-beens, or delusions of a softer world, their eyes meet and they think to themselves, god, in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with him.

[werewolf-w1tch]

finally finished the dtiys that @ask-the-cat-cafe is hosting! honestly wasn't sure i'd make the deadline with finals crunch lmao

[risariba]

Dreams

[beaulesbian]

Shanks always said that if the path to what you want seems too easy, then you're on the wrong path.

[metalandmagi]

This is one of my favorite panels in Akatsuki no Yona (from chap 189), but the recent chapters are MAKING ME FEEL THINGS ABOUT THIS IMAGE! All this time, Zeno has been the one "looking the other way" so to speak while the other dragons have always been more in sync with each other. He's always been the odd one out, more detached from the others. The foreshadowing I tell you.

[ruegarding]

some of percy's thoughts abt the gods in tlt

and one bonus som

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i guess it’s less that they Completely Understood each other and more that . just. they met each other at the perfect time . they had a bond that could never be replaced . they could be their true selves around each other, even if it only lasted for a year or two . but it still meant so much to the both of them !!! those two years alone meant so much more than the ten years they spent apart and that completely fucking Destroys me . they had something that neither one of them would ever find again and if it’s not Total Understanding then i truly believe it was unconditional love . soulmatism. the feeling of finding your other half . they had each other for two little years and it was the single most vibrant blue spring of their lives

[echothelover]

I don't know if this is how other people experienced it, but my experience with utenanthy was thinking it was cute but pretty surface-level as far as relationships go on my first watch (at least until the final arc), to on rewatch considering it the most devastating and well-written romance of all time

[bbqhooligan]

i am glad drake is being called out and i’m glad kendrick is doing exactly that but i can’t help but notice that men are only quick to label other men they hate as predators and not their very own friends.

its a valid way to feel but when trying to analyze peoples actions possible political results i find its better off to try to lock away ones own feelings about the entire system. its unfair.

like ive seen many people upset along the lines of "so kendricks just coming out with these serious allegations just cuz theyre beefing. men only care about womens violence to dunk on other men" and while thats a valid way to feel about the culture, about the general, the majority, about men, cuz we literally see this happen around us, etc etc we literally cant apply it to individuals baselessly.

i have 0 idea what the circumstances were and what kendrick was thinking through this whole thing, WHAT I DO KNOW is that its literally historic someone with this kind of platform is so ruthlessly coming after someone else from the industry with very clearly stated accusations. its so ugly but in Hollywood, you have actors and directors revealed as sex offenders or in lawsuits of sexual violence OR EVEN COMPLETELY OFF THE GRID unacceptable behavior and no one breathes out a word on it. its tradition directors take advantage of women to give them roles. tradtion to write naked scenes for women they want naked. but everyones tail is caught in everyones mouth, so people whose brands are wholesome or "progressive" stay silent to stay employed. its all very hushed.

ive never seen a man this popular and widely respected openly call another man a misogynist. like i said before, its not that Kendrick Lamar is some Feminist Scholar King, its that the action, the angle is surprisingly pro-woman. in times feminist sentiment gets so much backlash and is so unpopular with general audiences i was pleasantly surprised by the way he spoke of women. thats it.