#it has been a while that I have posted my writings

[lovesickhughes]

hole in one | luke hughes

SUMMARY: when luke stumbles into your work, playing a round of golf with his friends, asking you out isn’t the only par he’s hitting

pairings: luke hughes x fem!reader | warnings: noneeee | wordcount: 2.6k

author's note: she has risen! sorry for the long note, but oh my gosh, you guys i am so sorry for falling off the face of the earth and not posting for what was almost TWO MONTHS (trust me it ate me alive). life got so busy for me, with work and social plans that i didn’t have the energy nor time to sit down and write, and for a while i really struggled with inspiration. my two fav girls hallie @lilhughesy & isa @isaadore are such amazing ppl that inspire me everyday and are so supportive of me and my writing, i don’t think i would have been able to write something without them. i am fortunate enough to have gathered enough of my creativity to put together this fic, and i find it so cutesy and adorable, i hope you guys love it, pls validate me, ok love you bye

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You were busy— or so you would like to think— when you heard the mdoor open, feeling the rush of warm, humid summer heat pass through, and when you looked up to greet the next round of golfers, one immediately caught your attention.

He was tall, had messy curly hair that was restrained by the hat on his head and he wore a white polo shirt, along with khaki shorts and a white pair of golf shoes.

His clubs were slung over his shoulder, his arm securing the weight with a hold on the strap, while he tilted his head to see under the brim of his hat as he walked up to your desk.

You were used to welcoming in a fair share of your stereotypical golfers, prominent tan lines, rich laughs– the whole ordeal that came alongside working at a private golf course, but something about the tall brunette that had walked in intrigued you.

A member of his group approached you, reading out their tee time and name along with the number of golfers in the group, and you gave the group a run down of the rules and instructions. And while doing so, you couldn't help but feel the certain someone's gaze lingering as you spoke.

"And as usual, there's a number on the golf cart to call us up front if you need any help hitting anything under par," You joked, effortlessly hitting your go-to one-liner that caused a chain reaction of boisterous laughs from older groups of men.

The group laughed and thanked you, accepting the rental keys to the carts before escorting each other to the depot to begin their round.

While you reached for your water to quench your drying throat, you noticed one member hadn't followed his group out, that just so happened to be the tall brunette that caught your attention– and immediately your brows furrow in concern.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" You asked politely, smiling brightly and letting your customer service persona guide you through the conversation.

He shook his head, "Oh no, sorry, I was just wondering if you had any extra tees I could snag off you, I left mine at home." He questioned, shifting weight nervously between his feet.

You nodded eagerly, "Of course! Yeah! Here," You say, reaching for the extra bags of tees, put together for easy accessibility to the golfers and handing him the bag– your attention being sent to the brush of your fingers against his own.

"Great, thanks..." The brunette paused, his eyes now searching yours.

Your smile grew wider, flustered by his unexpected gesture.

"Y/n."

"Thanks, Y/n. Maybe I'll see you around." He thanked, walking backward before exiting through the doors to catch up with the others in his group.

You awkwardly nod and wave goodbye, confused by his antics, but nonetheless continue to work away, every so often watching the time pass by— knowing soon enough that the same brunette would be back in no time.

To your luck, the rest of your shift passed quickly and smoothly, with no crazy obstacles appearing along the way, and an efficient closing up for the night.

But as the clock further spun, you began to realize you hadn't come across the unknown brunette from before, a sinking feeling growing in your stomach in disappointment.

You knew you had gotten in your own head and created this idea that he would magically reappear, but as you watched the clock soon approach the hour that the country club would close, the realization had sunk in that the encounter you had hours ago, was a mere glimpse of what could have been.

As you turn to head to the staff room to collect your belongings, you hear the door rattle as it usually does when someone pulls on the handle to open it. Turning your head, ready to relay the same information to the last round of golfers that tried to come in for dinner after their eighteen holes, but to your surprise, it was only one golfer– the one and only golfer you had wished to see. 

"Hey, Y/n, right?" He called out, chest heaving as if he had just come running to the building. The air had gotten caught in your throat when your eyes met the familiar brown ones of the unknown golfer from hours ago.

You turned your body fully to face him, hands resting on your hips. "Yeah, how can I help?" You asked skeptically, eyes squinting in confusion.

The brunette stood taller in his stance, rolling his shoulders back as if he were preparing himself, "Oh, I just wanted to catch you before we both left, I uh– wanted to know if I could get your number, and maybe take you out sometime." He smiled awkwardly, his cheeks flushing with pink as he chewed on his bottom lip and fumbled with his own fingers.

A smile grew on your face and the spin that your stomach did at the question didn't go unnoticed.

You walk towards him, pulling out your phone and handing it to him with the contacts app open, "Sure, yeah. Here you go." You offer and you watch him nervously type in his number and name before handing it back to you, the once nervous smile now fading into a confident grin.

"I gotta get going, the boys are gonna wonder where I went. I'll text you, 'kay?" He said as he slowly walked backwards towards the entrance, and you couldn't help the grin on your face from spreading farther as his eyes never left yours.

"Sounds good," You paused, glancing down at your phone that's screen displayed his name for you to call, "Luke. I'll see you around." You smiled, letting out a breath of relief after successfully opening an opportunity for you to get to know the once mysterious man.

You proceed to grab your things from the staff room and head out for the night, making sure to text the new number in your phone with your name and a smiley face beside it.

。·:*:･ﾟ✧,。·:*:･ﾟ✧

It didn't take long for your phone to chime with a notification from Luke. It was the next day when he had texted you asking when you were free next, mentioning how he would be in town for a couple more weeks before flying back out to New Jersey where he currently lived.

You couldn't help but feel your cheeks ache from smiling so hard at the messages being exchanged, and soon enough, it was agreed upon by each of you that he would pick you up Friday evening and take you to the local driving range.

You took in your appearance one last time in the mirror before checking your phone to see the text that he had arrived, your feet carrying you eagerly down the stairs to your front door. 

The knock on the door echoed through your quiet living room, and you waited a few moments before unlocking the door and slowly swinging it open to reveal the man you couldn't wait to see.

"Hey, how's it going?" He said politely, hands in his pocket as he swayed on his feet.

"I'm good– I'm excited. I haven't been to the range all summer because of work." You smiled, stepping outside and closing the door behind you.

"Well hopefully you don't have your work cut out for you," He chuckled his hand coming up behind you to the small of your back as he guided you towards his jeep that was parked on the side of the road.

"Is that a challenge?" You quipped, raising an eyebrow at his comment, only to see Luke shrug in response as he walked around to the driver's side of his vehicle.

He unlocked his car, swiftly opened the trunk where his clubs were laid, and followed you to the side of your house, insisting to carry your clubs with ease, much to your protest.

Soon enough the two of you were on your way to the driving range with the windows rolled down and music playing through the speakers at a comfortable volume.

When you got to the driving range, it was another playful argument over who would carry your clubs for you, and yet again, you were left following behind him, empty-handed with your arms crossed over your chest in dismay.

He gracefully asked for two buckets of golf balls, letting you carry those for your own peace of mind, and guided you to the last two open slots of the range.

Setting up, you both got ready to swing, adjusting your stances and leveraging your golf balls far out into the field.

That went on for a few minutes, before you each paused to grab some water– the warm summer heat adding to the exercise.

"So, when did you decide you were gonna ask for my number?" You asked as you sat next to him on the bench, taking a sip from your water bottle.

Luke chuckled, glancing down to his lap before meeting your eyes. "As soon as we walked in that day." He answered shyly.

Your eyebrows raised in surprise, "Really? And it took you a whole five hours and eighteen holes of golf to actually do it?" You asked through a laugh, nudging his side playfully.

His eyes squinted, "Hey, I can't help it, we had a tee time to get to, and plus, I didn't know how you would respond, so I needed time to think it through." He reasoned.

“Well I’m glad you thought it through,” You said as you nodded your head, understanding, before standing up and taking your driver to the slot of fake grass, placing the tee into the mat and adjusting your stance to prepare to swing.

Luke cleared his throat, quickly standing up after you and walking towards you, "Woah, here let me help you with your form." He offered, hands reaching out to you. You stood up straight from your leaned over position, brows furrowing teasingly.

"What, are you saying that I have bad form? I work at a golf course for crying out loud." You joked, letting out a laugh.

Luke's eyes widened, quickly shaking his head, "No, no, no. You have great form– perfect actually." He stuttered. "Let me just help a tiny bit."

You nodded, going back to your previous position. Luke walked up behind you, his tall figure hovering over you, making you feel small against him. Heat grew to your cheeks when you felt his arms slide over your own, lightly gripping at your wrists to adjust your grip, the feeling of his back against your own not going unnoticed.

Your breath was caught in your throat as he softly mumbled corrections into your ear, telling you to slightly shift your weight, followed by a "there you go."

"'Kay, now try that." He prompted, stepping back to allow you to swing, and when the club came in contact with the tiny white golfball, the sound that echoed through the driving range was enough to have heads turned, watching the ball soar far into the field.

You couldn't believe it, it had to have been your best shot ever in the time you had been golfing. In disbelief, your head shot back to where Luke stood, a wide grin on his face at the outcome.

"Did you just see that? That was the farthest I've ever hit!" You exclaimed, jumping up in excitement, rushing over to Luke and engulfing him in a hug.

His hands came to wrap around your waist, hugging you tight for your accomplishment, before delicately pulling you away from him to meet your eyes.

"See? I didn't think you had bad form, just needed the Luke touch to make it ten times better." He smirked teasingly, making your eyes roll. You couldn't help but feel the sensation light through you at the feeling of his hands resting on your waist, and being so close to him, it was as if you were pulled into this trance of pure bliss.

Blinking, you were pulled back to reality, smiling widely at your own achievement before reaching a hand over your head to high five him.

The night went on for a while longer, getting a few more practice swings in before your buckets were empty and you both were ready to call it a day.

When you got into the jeep, the sun was just setting, leaving the sky a glowing orange and yellow colour, catching your attention.

"Look at the sky, ugh– it's so beautiful." You compliment, staring out the window of Luke's jeep.

You turn back to Luke, who's already watching you, a soft smile written on his face. "If you want, I could take us down to the dock by my cottage and we could just hang out there for a bit," He offered. A smile grew on your face, and without a doubt, you nodded your head.

When you pulled up to the dock, the sky had transformed into an even more beautiful sight than before. Luke and you both hopped out of his jeep, Luke's long legs carrying him around the front to your side, holding out his hand for you to intertwine with as you walked down to the end of the dock.

Sitting on the wood planks, you sit shoulder to shoulder in silence as you both took in the view.

Luke turned his head to look at you, unbeknownst to you who admired the colours of the sky, while he took in your beauty.

Feeling his gaze on you, you turned to him and chuckled nervously, "What are you looking at?" You asked softly, the sounds of the water and nature echoing across the expanse of the lake.

He shrugged, "Just how perfect you look right now," Earning a roll of your eyes, feeling the heat fill your cheeks. "I'm glad you said yes to going out with me."

"I'm glad too," You replied, giggling at how intimate the moment had become.

"Yeah?" Luke teased, reaching a hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You hummed, your eyes never leaving his, letting him tuck the hair behind your ear, your chest heavily rising in anticipation. "You gonna seal the deal with a kiss?" You asked through a breath, your faces now only inches apart from one another.

Luke tilted his head, "That depends, you gonna kiss me back?" He teased, his hand now sliding to cup the side of your face, pulling you closer to his lips.

When you nodded your head, it was in an instance that his lips were on yours. At first it was a sweet, soft kiss, but when your hand reached to the nape of his neck where his curls laid, he deepened the kiss, letting out a sigh of pleasure, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

Time moved slowly as you both shared the kiss, feeling as if the world slipped away between you both.And when you pulled away, you both couldn't help the flustered laughs that fell off your tongues.

Luke leaned back onto his arms, running a quick hand through his hair, his cheeks now a dark pink and lips swollen. He let out a breath through his mouth, "Man, I didn't even go golfing today and I scored a hole in one." He said sheepishly through a chuckle, earning your head to fall back in laughter and smacking his chest.

"You're so cheesy, oh my." You laughed.

"You like it," He protested, giving you a look and your lips formed into a fine line, contemplating your response.

You sigh, rolling your eyes again, "I hate that you're right-- I love it."

Luke let out a loud laugh, pulling you into a tight hug and leaving a kiss on your forehead.

Needless to say, you were glad he scored that hole in one.  

[ccalhoun]

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

freddy yeti x gn!reader

plot synopsis: reader has an eating disorder, freddy notices and decides enough is enough waiting for you to eat

warnings: angst + fluff, gn reader, written with male reader in mind but everyone deserves some freddy comfort, detailed talk of eating disorders, lowercase intended, written within one sitting and no beta reader... enjoy..!

note: trying to get back into writing because i feel guilty not posting... sorry my poor fanfic malnourished children i'm trying + rather short because i'm out of practice

sensitive subject matter beneath the cut

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

you took a deep breath as you stood up, knowing you couldn't avoid eating forever. it had only been a day or two.. maybe three? since you last ate, you had some... veggies? fruit? chips? you hardly remembered eating, mentally checking out every time you had to.

your body was heavy, you were winded at every corner, you needed a real full meal. you grabbed your dateviators and dorian kindly opened your door for you, knowing all too well of your eating habits. you grabbed onto the stairs railing while you walked, your legs unsteady.

the walk to the kitchen felt eternal. you were nearly out of breath. you swiftly took a seat at the table, your heart beating out of your chest from using energy you don't have. you smiled at freddy as he greeted you, staying seated and refraining from speaking.

"hey, cool kid!" freddy greeted happily, instantly noticing the state of your health. he tried to not bring it up, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or upset with him. every time you walked past him, avoiding his gaze, he called you over to 'talk', bringing up some food that was about to expire, so you better eat it now before it goes bad. he doesn't say anything when he sees cam eating the same thing he gave you. freddy just notes it and remembers so next time he can give you more to eat.

"you look like you need some protein, why don't you order some chicken breast and ill make some chicken alfredo? sounds good, huh?" freddy's tone friendly as ever, not talking down or talking to you like you're a clueless child, just sounding like a friend with a good dinner idea. as much as you wanted to say no and insist it was fine, you were nodding before you could realize it.

freddy smiled, walking over and rubbing your back. freddy hadn't made it known to you, and he's glad he hadn't, yeti's had stronger senses than most other mammals. big man, big organs. he could hear your heartbeat when you were at the bottom of the stairs, he could smell how exhausted and overexerted your body was. you couldn't really hide anything from him. freddy cleaned some dishes while you put together a quickcart order, he insisted you stayed sitting down and who were you to argue?

you waited on the couch with koa and freddy, letting telly pick something to put on, and before you knew it there was a knock at your door and a notification from your phone. you got up and grabbed the two bags, dorian closing behind you and freddy taking the bags from your hands.

"why don't you go chillax with koa, cool kid? i've got the cooking!" freddy gently insisted, knowing if you were in the kitchen you'd be worrying about how much oil he's putting in, or how much butter he uses, or the calories in the pasta sauce... he loved you, but it was worrying and hard to deal with without being blunt about how in your own head you are.

he walked you back to koa, giving koa a look that could only mean 'i'll maul you if they leave this couch cushion again' before going in the kitchen. his shoulders dropped once he was out of your sight. he got to cooking, with help from river and stefan, trying to avoid thinking about how dire this really is. because, it's okay now. freddy wasn't going to give up and let this happen anymore. if he has to cook you five hundred meals he will, as long as you're eating them.

before he knew it, he was finished, a delicious hot meal ready to be eaten, he plated some up and brought it out to you, "here you go, buddy, eat up!"

it smelt delicious. your stomach had been growling from the small hints of smells that would float into the living room, you took it and thanked freddy, though he just sat down on the couch next to you, not exactly watching you, but definitely there to make sure you actually eat it.

freddy wouldn't admit this but he was almost surprised when you actually started eating, taking small bites with pauses between them, but it was progress, and he was so proud. koa was proud. and though there were no words spoken while you ate, you could feel the tenseness in the room melt away as everyone eased up on their worries about you.

"taste good, cool kid?" he asked after a while, finally looking at you and noticing you ate half of your plate. half. half! his heart was leaping with joy. he could help you. maybe this will show you it's okay to need help, and if not now then maybe after the 10th meal he makes. maybe the 30th. maybe the 100th. he decided in that moment he was seriously going to commit to helping you, no matter what it took.

"yeah, thank you freddy," you spoke quietly, but he could hear more energy behind your voice, some life behind it for once. you were gonna be okay, and he would do anything to help you get there.

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

[azriona]

Trustfall, Prologue

Winter Soldier!Bucky x fem!Reader, 9 chapters plus prologue & epilogue. Explicit for sexual contact, which considering it’s the Winter Soldier should be considered vaguely dub!con within an established relationship. Updates will be Tuesdays & Thursdays until complete.

Summary:

Hydra attacks the Tower, fully intending to regain control of their Asset. But Bucky Barnes has a plan. Bucky Barnes has you.

A/N: Inspired by this Tumblr post by @calzone-d, but then it took a life of its own. The working title for this was “Hostage to the Winter Soldier!” (complete with exclamation point, because it’s funnier that way, and if you don’t imagine that title in one of those 1950s B-movie fonts, you’re doing it wrong), but by the time I finished writing, I had Pink’s song stuck in my head, and it’s probably a better fit.

Full notes on AO3, but please note the Trigger Warning for Dub!con above.

Prologue ~ Chapters 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ Epilogue

MCU Masterlist

“Oh come on, they’ll never hire me,” you protest, laughing. You have to shout it to be heard over the noise of the bar. “And anyway, I’m happy in the ER.”

“But it’s Avengers Tower,” groans your best friend Steph, her slightly tipsy head dropping onto the bar. “You have to—ow. Who made bars so hard? That hurt.”

You pat her shoulder. “I like the ER. It’s fast-paced, it’s exciting, I’m doing exactly what I always wanted.”

“Two words. Super. Heroes.”

“That’s one word, Steph. And come on, superheroes aren’t that interesting. They probably do their own stitches and skip their regular check-ups.”

“Is she still bothering you about the Avengers job?” asks the bartender, Chet, as he hands Steph a towel full of ice from behind the bar.

“Yes,” you groan as Steph mumbles a thank you and plops the iced towel on her head, still lying on the bar. “And it’s not an Avengers job. It’s just a job at the Tower. I probably wouldn’t even see them. I bet I’d be giving SI employees their immunizations and checking for fevers in the on-site daycare.”

“Or working with Bruce Banner?”

“There’s no guarantee of that!”

“Oh yeah? Is there a security clearance involved?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Working with Bruce Banner,” says Chet sagely. “And you know, wiping snotty noses in the daycare and chasing down superheroes for their yearly check-ups.”

“I like the ER,” you insist.

“We know you do,” says Chet. “But we like seeing you, and this is the first time you’ve been out since you got the job two years ago.”

“I miss you,” moans Steph to the bar. Well, in the direction of the bar, but presumably to you. “You’re my best friend and the only way I see you is by breaking my ankle.”

“Oh my God, Steph, tell me you didn’t do that on purpose.”

“Just apply,” says Chet. “If nothing else, it’ll give you bargaining power when your contract comes up again.”

“It does have better hours. And dental.”

“Dental,” sighs Steph longingly.

*

“I got the job!”

“What?” Steph yells back. Clearly, hunting down Steph while she’s on the dance floor was a bad idea.

“I. GOT. THE. JOB!!!”

“Oh my God!” shrieks Steph, encasing you in a huge hug. “My best friend’s gonna be an Avenger!”

You burst into laughter, glad no one else can hear you over the music. “Not an Avenger, Steph. Just a nurse working in the medical bay in the Tower. I probably won’t even see them.”

Steph holds your shoulders firmly. “You are not allowed to replace me with Black Widow.”

“As if!”

Chet gives you a free drink, as do a few others nearby who overheard the part about “new job.” Only one of them actually asks where the job is.

“Stark Industries,” you say, because it’s basically true. “Probably not as exciting as the ER was, but the hours are way better and so’s the pay and benefits.”

“I hope you enjoy it,” says the man, lifting his glass in a toast. He’s got a really pleasant accent, wire-rimmed glasses, the scar on the side of his face barely noticeable in the dim light. You’d like to keep talking to him, but Steph distracts you for a moment, and when you turn back around, he’s gone.

*

Okay, so you hadn’t really lied to Steph. You don’t see the Avengers very often, but that’s only because you don’t work nights and they only ever show up in the med bay when it’s dark outside. Or seem to, anyway.

But you’ve met just about all of them for one reason or another, and so far, every encounter has shown them to be pleasant and friendly as can be.

Until one afternoon, about six months after you started working, when you overhear two very loud, very shouty voices, in the hall outside the nurse’s station.

“I DO NOT NEED STITCHES.”

“You’re worse than Clint! Get in there!”

“Come on, Stevie, they’re gonna heal up on their own in ten minutes.”

“Not if you don’t get the broken glass out first.”

Broken glass? You immediately reach for the kit with the tweezers and a pair of nitrile gloves.

“So you do it.”

“I can’t do it, I have to go brief Hill.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Yeah. For the nurse.”

“Stevie,” groans the guy. “Is this what it all comes to? Saving me from the clutches of Hydra only to make me relive my worst nightmares? You’ve seen the nurses here, Stevie, they all look like my Uncle Maurice.”

“Not true, Buck.”

“They’re cold, heartless bitches, Stevie, the lot of them.”

“Hello,” you say cheerfully, entering the room where Captain America straddles a second man, face-down on the floor and long past fighting. “I’m the attending cold heartless bitch who looks like your Uncle Maurice, I hear you’ve got some glass embedded somewhere?”

“A plate glass window attacked him,” Captain America tells you. “It was brutal.”

“You should’ve seen the window,” grumbles the man to the floor.

“I’ll be sure to send a sympathy card,” you say, setting up your tools on the tray table. “I can do this on the floor, but it’d probably be more sanitary up here.”

“Right,” says Captain America, and he gets off the floor.

The man immediately makes a break for it.

“Nope,” you say, and grab one of the conveniently-placed straps on his leather coat. He spins and stares at you in shock.

He’s cute, you think, or would be if it weren’t for the gaping wound in his forehead. It sparkles, though that’s probably the glass catching in the light.

“So that’s what the straps are for,” says Captain America, impressed, right before he grabs the guy by the ear and hauls him up on the examining table.

“OW.” The man glares at Captain America, who doesn’t seem the least bit concerned. Even though that glare’s probably the scariest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Hold still,” you tell the glare, and start removing the glass from his forehead.

It’s a nasty wound, too. You work as fast as you can, fully aware of how the man you’re treating is—despite all outward appearances—scared to death.

Not that he’d admit it, or even realize you know it. But you worked in an ER for a while. You’ve seen everything, from spaced-out junkies to suicidal octogenarians to homeless vets.

You know which this guy is most like. The way he’s not shaking or trembling, the way he’s so tense and unable to breathe. Not just not breathing, but actually, physically, unable to take a breath because he’s working so hard to keep from screaming.

“The only way out is through,” you murmur as you pull another shard of glass from his forehead.

“Hmm?” asks Captain America, but the guy watches you: wary, assessing every move, even as you telegraph them as plainly as you can.

Calm, almost, despite the now-shallow breaths.

“Nothing,” you say. “One more piece.”

You pull it out, cleaning the area again. “Now, unless I miss my guess, you’re both thinking he’s going to self-heal fairly quickly?”

“By suppertime, probably.”

You nod. “I’d still recommend a steri-stitch or two. Just to keep it clean until the healing’s done. You don’t have to return to remove them, either.”

“Perfect,” says Captain America gratefully, and after a few more minutes, they’re both gone.

But the next morning, when you come in, there’s a bouquet of flowers sitting on the counter with your name on it, and a note written in perfect copperplate handwriting.

I’m sorry I said you looked like Uncle Maurice. You’re much prettier. –JBB

The smile on your face is so big, it stays the rest of the day.

to be continued...

[sidequestsinlife]

every video is bwagfeo and dnp are genius idiots

i basically wrote this in the tags of someone else's post about dan being jealous of phil's hangers but i want to elaborate a little more:

i think we can stop waiting for a more explicit hard launch. they don't need one. they don't need to say "we are in a romantic and sexual relationship," "we are boyfriends," or "basically we are gay for each other" (lmao). they've been saying it, more and more, without using those exact words, in every video for a long time. forever, basically, but more clearly and more intensely in every phase.

"it was more than just romantic" was pretty damn clear (i always thought that was the hard launch, but i guess it wasn't clear enough for everyone to believe that). and it progressed from there. more immediately post-hiatus (phil's very intense reaction to sister daniel in the halloween baking video was literally two weeks after they came back). even more during tit, progressively every week (newlywed game video, anyone??? dan basically in phil's lap during the phan twitter video they posted from australia and then commenting he's got "places to be"????). even more post-tit (back to the fucking hangers lmfao). without saying it, every single fucking video they post these days IS bwagfeo. every instragram story IS bwagfeo. everything they do in public IS bwagfeo. they did a WHOLE ASS STAGE SHOW that is/was bwagfeo.

they don't need a rebrand to make danandphilgames an explicit couples channel; anyone who watches it and thinks otherwise is...probably not great at picking up on cues in human behavior generally, no offense. (or an elderly clueless person who doesn't ever even consider the possibility, i guess, like my parents' neighbor a few doors down, a very old man farmer who has lived next door to a very open lesbian couple for nearly twenty years and still thinks they're "a very nice pair of sisters." they have a pride flag on their porch. i think he is genuinely clueless.)

which brings me to the point that despite the fact that they are frequently idiots, dnp are geniuses for getting us here: they're together. we know that. they know we know that. they're not trying to hide it anymore. but they also never gave any invasive non-phannie journalists the satisfaction of a scoop, of being able to write some dumbass headline like "LONG-SPECULATED ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOUTUBE DUO CONFIRMED!!!" or whatever. (side note, i still like "going steady," thank you clueless australian straight boomer radio man.) other than dan telling the one nosy interviewer to basically fuck off, they've almost entirely managed to avoid even answering questions about their relationship status post-hiatus, while at the same time confirming it more and more every day until it is just a phact. when people try to make the case they're "just besties!!!" these days, it either sounds clueless or homophobic, honestly.

(i do still like a good tongue-in-cheek "whether they're romantic or platonic..." moment, though. whether they're romantic or platonic, they sure have confirmed seeing each other naked frequently and publicly shared a lot of detailed information about each other's sexual preferences!)

tldr: phil's too pretty to need to know what electricity is and dan can't even keep straight in his head which rumors he started himself, but they are somehow pr geniuses. is my point i guess. thank you for coming to my ted talk?

[organic-bloodbath]

Seizure

Nam-gyu x Reader

Summary: You get a seizure during one of the games and get help from someone completely unexpected.

A/N: Never imagined to write about this junkie but this gif made me kinda feel things. OOC but idc. Also didn't know if i'd even post this cos it's basically just for myself as someone who has epilepsy and deadass would actually die there bc of it if i didn't get my meds 🧍🏻‍♀️

i'll probably delete this

♧♧

When you were about to start the first game, you noticed someone familiar in the distance. At least someone who reminded you a lot about a specific person from your past. No, it couldn't be him… could it?

When you locked eyes with him, you got your answer – it indeed was him.

Nam-gyu.

The boy you had gone to the same middle school with all those years ago. The boy who hung out with your brother after school at your house. The boy who sat next to you during math classes and kept stealing your erasers. The boy who told your first crush that you liked him, just to tease and make fun of you, and you ended up running back home crying. The boy who stared at you a little too long when he saw you in bikinis for the first time when you were 15 years old — though you didn’t seem to be aware of that. The boy who was a pain in the ass for eight years of your life.

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" Nam-gyu said when you had returned to the dorm after the first game, standing in front of you with his hands in his pockets. He had a blue ‘O’ patch attached to his green jacket while you had chosen the red ‘X’, dividing you into separate groups, just like back in school.

You hadn't seen him at all in the past 10 years. He had changed a little but not enough to be unrecognizable to you.

"Nam-gyu," you said, crossing your arms. "Long time no see."

As the games progressed, you ended up into separate groups. Nam-gyu was with Thanos, Min-su and Se-mi, while you were with Gi-hun, Dae-ho and Jun-hee. You barely looked at his way, almost forgetting he even was there.

Only once in a while did you spare a glance or two towards his way. However, Nam-gyu was looking in your way a lot more than you did to his; he hadn't seen you at all in a decade and god, how much you had changed. The last time he had seen you, you had been a girl but now you were a grown ass woman.

And pretty as hell too, though that's something he'd keep to himself.

When the hide and seek game was about to start, you examined the triangle key that was hanging on your neck.

"Hope you're still a fast runner like in middle school," Nam-gyu snickered behind you, holding the knife assigned to him and gently tapped your shoulder with the flat side of the blade. "Because i'm gonna hunt you down."

"Yeah?" you said, crossing your arms and tried to look all confident, lifting your chin up high. "I'm gonna wear you off quite quickly."

Nam-gyu left you alone and teamed up with Myung-gi who had changed vests with Jun-hee, now both men in the red team.

During the game, you ended up losing Dae-ho who you had teamed up with, having no idea where he was right now. However, you kept searching for the exit on your own, opening as many doors as you could with your key, but always running into dead ends.

Just after you had entered the next room, Nam-gyu right behind you, you suddenly stopped on your tracks. All you did was stare ahead of you, mind completely blank.

"There you are," Nam-gyu smirked, finally catching up with you, but the arrogance quickly turned into confusion for how you were acting at the moment, not answering to him with some sarcastic remark.

You had suffered from epilepsy since you were 12 years old. Nam-gyu knew that, he had been there when you got a seizure after school. Your brother knew what to do, but all Nam-gyu had been able to do was to watch you from the side since he had never been in that sort of a situation, not knowing what the hell was happening.

You hadn’t gotten a single seizure in the past three years, thanks to your medication, so you hadn’t thought about it here that much before. The medicine had to be taken twice in a day but now you didn’t have it here, having been several days in a row without a single pill.

Oh fuck. No, no, not right now, Nam-gyu thought.

Then, your legs betrayed you but Nam-gyu managed to catch you before you hit the ground, gently laying your body down.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

“She has to stay on her side,” your brother said, turning your body on the side. “Go grab a pillow or something soft to place under her head.”

Nam-gyu didn’t have a pillow here or anything soft. He was on his knees next to you, starting to fully panic what to do. Soft, soft, soft, something to protect your head. Nam-gyu ended up just placing your head on his lap, not restricting your head from moving but making sure you weren’t hitting it on the floor while convulsing.

He wasn't sure how long it took, probably only a minute or two, but it felt much longer than that. Eventually, your body stopped moving and for a second Nam-gyu was afraid you had actually died, having your body completely limp and eyes closed. He put his finger under your nose, feeling air hit his skin. Okay, you were still breathing, you weren't dead.

Nam-gyu was running out of time, and he still needed to find someone to kill. Someone wearing a blue vest. He had killed one player but it was together with Myung-gi, so he had to find another.

Someone like you.

You would have been an easy target, lying on the floor unconscious, still breathing – not able to fight back. But he couldn't get himself to stab the knife through you.

If he simply left you here to lay down all by yourself, someone from the red team might find you and kill you instead. Nam-gyu groaned and rubbed his face, thinking what the hell he should do.

Nam-gyu eventually stood up and walked to a corpse nearby, gathering blood into his hands from the pool of blood the man was lying on. Then, he rubbed the dead man's blood on you: your shirt (both on your stomach and back), face, hands – anywhere to make it look like you were injured and dead.

"This is really fucking nasty but you don't leave me much of a choice," Nam-gyu mumbled. God damn it, he wasn't made to taking care of someone else – he could barely take care of himself.

There was 15 minutes of the game left. As long as you wouldn't move an inch or breathe too loudly, you'd be safe, he was sure of it. Why did he even care? He didn't. If you died… whatever. He didn't give a damn about you. Of course not.

Alright, maybe he did just a little. Maybe he did have a crush on you in middle school but obviously that had already passed. Of course it had.

Nam-gyu shook his head and left the room without looking back.

“Where have you been?” Myung-gi asked, but Nam-gyu just brushed his question off and walked past him, making Myung-gi follow.

When Nam-gyu had killed a blue vested player, along with Myung-gi, he returned to you, still laying on your side. Not dead, just asleep. Untouched.

Nam-gyu shook your shoulder to get you awake. He'd rather get you out of there by himself than have the guards to drag you away.

"Hm?" you mumbled, still half asleep but slowly stirring awake.

"Wakey wakey, princess," Nam-gyu said, looking you into your eyes now that you were awake.

"Don't call me a princess," you managed to mumble, even in your hazy state, brain like scrambled eggs right now.

Nam-gyu helped you to sit up and lean against the wall. You winced and held your head, getting a strong and pounding headache.

"Where are we? What’s going on?" you asked, confused about the entire situation, struggling to remember what had happened.

"Still in the middle of the game," Nam-gyu explained. "You got a seizure."

You just stared at Nam-gyu with narrowed eyes, tired and sensitive to lights which were surprisingly bright at the moment. You tried to make a sense of this situation but your brain was total mush.

"I think i'm gonna throw up," you muttered, feeling something build up in your throat but nothing came out. "How much time is there left?"

"Around five minutes," Nam-gyu replied.

Your head was killing you right now and you were feeling too exhausted to even sit up, so you lowered yourself back on your side, letting your head rest on Nam-gyu's lap.

It startled him a little but he let you stay there, rest on him for those five minutes.

♧♧

When it was time for the light’s out, you were afraid of falling asleep. What if you got a seizure in your sleep? You liked to sleep on your back the most but if you did get a seizure at night, you’d probably choke on your own spit. Sleeping on your side didn’t feel so natural to you and you’d almost always eventually roll on your back.

You had an idea in your mind but you hated yourself for it. You couldn’t just go and ask him about it. If it would be okay with him. If he could help you out just for this night. It felt stupid to even consider it an option, surely he’d just laugh at you how ridiculous you were being and make you go back to your own bed.

You had mostly recovered from the seizure earlier and the realization of the entire situation hit hard on your face. You hated others watching you have a seizure, it was so embarrassing. Humiliating. In front of your family it wasn’t as bad but with strangers or people like Nam-gyu — people who already kept teasing and making fun of you? Hell no.

Nam-gyu was awake in his bed when you approached him.

“Already miss me?” he teased.

“Can I…” you started, the words stuck in your throat. Oh god this felt so wrong. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Nam-gyu instantly sat up, now curious what you were exactly suggesting.

“Wanna sleep with me, huh?” he smirked, eyeing you from head to toe. “Here? While all these other people sleep? Damn, didn’t know you were such a —“

“I didn’t mean like that,” you spat, interrupting him before he’d go into any further details. “I mean just sleeping. Only sleeping. Nothing else.”

Nam-gyu narrowed his eyes, an amused smile spreading on his lips right after. “Thought you couldn’t stand the thought of me sleeping even in the same room with me.”

“What?” you asked, confused what he meant.

“You know, when I’d stay with your brother and —“

“I was 13 years old for fuck’s sake,” you groaned. “Just, can I or do I leave you alone?”

“If you promise not to snore though,” he pointed out.

“I do not snore,” you scoffed.

“Well, you kinda do. I heard it all the way from— Ow!” Nam-gyu started but winced when you hit him on his shoulder.

“Just forget it,” you mumbled and turned around to leave, but Nam-gyu just grabbed your hand and pulled you back.

“You can stay if you want to.”

“What?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows. “Seriously?”

“I don’t mind." He shrugged, trying to act all nonchalant, but on the inside he was going crazy at the moment. Having you sleep in the same bed with him? You being the one to suggest it? This had to be some sort of a dream which he would wake up from any moment now.

You hesitantly laid yourself down on the bed, Nam-gyu backing off towards the edge to make room for you. You swallowed while laying your head on the pillow, Nam-gyu breathing on the back of your head. He moved closer to you so that his chest was now against your back, making sure that you wouldn’t roll on your back during your sleep.

Nam-gyu kept his hand on your stomach. “And no funny business with your hands, alright?” you ordered, being able to imagine how his hands would start roaming around your body at night.

“I’ll try to behave,” Nam-gyu smirked.

You already knew this was a bad idea but you couldn’t figure out any other solution to be able to sleep at ease.

When you woke up in the morning, having slept all night without waking up even once, you felt a hand cupping your left breast.

You hit Nam-gyu on his ribs with your elbow, startling him awake.

“Jesus christ, what the hell was that for?” Nam-gyu groaned, pulling his hand away.

“I said no touching with your hands,” you repeated with a firm tone.

“Hey, I’m a guy with a pretty girl in my bed, it’s simply an instinct I can’t control,” Nam-gyu tried to reason with a serious expression on his face. His arm was numb from your weight, feeling pins and needles all around the limb.

You tried the ignore the fact how he called you ‘pretty’, turning your face away just in case you’d blush.

“Whatever,” you mumbled and got up from the bed.

Nam-gyu looked after you when you walked away from him. He had liked you sleeping next to him surprisingly lot, a little too much maybe. Nam-gyu watched for a moment when you talked with player 456 about something.

He had known you for years when you were kids. Back then you were like the annoying little sister to him but now? All grown up and independent? You definitely weren’t like an annoying little sister anymore. Annoying, probably, but otherwise he wasn’t really able to explain what he was feeling.

All Nam-gyu knew was that he wanted you close to him again.

♧♧

Before the jump rope game, you were getting anxious. What if you got another seizure while you were standing on the bridge? Well, at least people wouldn’t stare at you too long since you’d instantly drop down anyway — looking at the good sides.

Nam-gyu stared at you, biting your fingernail that you always did when you were stressed. A thought of him carrying you over the bridge to ensure that you would reach the other side safely crossed his mind but he knew he wouldn’t manage to do that. He didn’t trust that you wouldn’t suddenly zone out in the middle, even if it would be just a few seconds, and get swept off by your feet. Nam-gyu was sure that you were afraid of the same thing just by the sight of you at the moment.

His own nerves were going crazy too, the crave — the need — for drugs not being helpful at all, making it all even worse. But the crave, the need, for you was even stronger right now.

Nam-gyu took a deep breath and then walked to you. He grabbed you by your arm, turning your body to face him.

“Wha—“ you started but was interrupted by him crashing his lips on yours, taking you into a deep kiss. He had his hand on the back of your head, making sure you wouldn’t escape his hold before he was done.

You were too shocked to even be able to move. Just when you were starting to actually realize what he was doing and you were able to react to the kiss, he already pulled away.

“Just in case one of us dies,” he whispered and winked, the left corner of his lips rising a little. Then, he let go of you and walked to the bridge without another word.

You just stood there for several seconds, looking after him with red cheeks and lips apart from the shock. Lips that Nam-gyu had just kissed. What the fucking hell got into him, you thought. How were you supposed to concentrate on the game now that you had the memory of him kissing you in your mind?

You shook your head, trying to erase Nam-gyu out of your mind, but he was stuck there for good.

Just focus on jumping at the correct moment. Don't think about it, just concentrate on the rope which will kill you if you don't jump on time. Don't think about how nice his lips had felt, just concentrate on the rope which will swipe you to your death if you don't jump on time.

Jump, step, step, step, jump, step, kiss- stop it, step, jump, his lips- shut the fuck up, jump, gap, fuck there's a gap, jump... You were sweating by now, heart hammering inside your chest. Over half way, you could do it. Don't look at the corpses all the way down there, don't look at them. But the kiss, damn, SHUT UP.

When you jumped to the platform among the other players who had passed the game, you could have fallen on your knees and kissed the ground under your feet.

Your gaze found Nam-gyu standing on the side, looking at the time which was running down second by second. Couple of minutes to go.

You walked up to him and when you were standing right in front of him, you slapped him on the cheek before he managed to say a single word. Not too hard to hurt but hard enough to sting a little.

“Why did you do that?” you spat.

“You were the one to hit me,” he stated, holding his cheek with wide eyes.

“Why the hell would you kiss me like that?” you asked. “That was the worst moment to do that.”

“Yeah? So there’s a right moment for that, huh?” Nam-gyu smirked, and you wanted to slap that smile off his face but managed to keep your cool. You just rolled your eyes. “Call it for good luck.”

“I’m your good luck charm or something?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Something like that,” he smiled. “Come on, don’t act like you didn’t like that.”

“Don’t be so arrogant,” you sighed.

“Well, you didn’t get a seizure so it must have had an effect here,” he said and tapped your head with his finger three times. You brushed his hand away.

“You think you kissing me has the same effect like my medicine?” you scoffed and shook your head. “Delusional as always.”

“I saw the way you blushed after the kiss though,” he smirked, tilting his head to the left.

“I did not,” you denied, though it was useless to lie about it to him at this point.

"Mhm," he hummed, amused at your reactions. He took a step closer and tilted your chin up with his finger, looking directly into your eyes. "Do let me know if you want to sleep together again though."

With a wink, he walked past you, leaving you by yourself with confused thought and feelings and heart beating rapidly.

♧♧

[aechlys]

Dear "I'm a lover not a fighter", you are welcome to tag me. Let's dance.

There is no "social double standard" or "intentional engineered koolaid" - there is just laws that protect fanfiction writers from being sued by the original copyright holder as long as we follow those laws and don't try to make money off of someone else's copyrighted material.

There is a double-standard when writers are expected to just do everything for free, meanwhile artists and bootleg fandom merch makers who sell on tumblr, etsy, and elsewhere have continuously made money off of their fanworks with no harassment and no internal fear-mongering for decades. This includes Star Wars IP and other heavy hitters- I'm sure many will remember the latest blazed campaign of that one person selling their literal mountain of bootleg fan merch unmolested- hell, their ad was even approved by tumblr. Some will say "Well fan art is transformative!" So is fan fiction though? There is no special shield protecting artists and bootleg merch sellers other than social acceptance of selling art and bootleg fan merch that has never been extended to writers.

(I don't even have time to get into the psychology of how capitalism makes us feel like we have to monetize every single inch of our lives, which is evil and wrong - including hobbies we do for free, and fanfiction is an amazing relief from that because you cannot monetize it, and I have never been more stressed in my life since people have been trying to monetize my own peaceful free hobby.)

No one's said once that you suddenly HAVE to monetize your work. My point is that no one should be witch-hunted for wanting to do so, and as you said in our conversation "I am not the fan art police", so how are you the fan fic police either? Let people live- no it doesn't actually affect you at all nor will it ever!

So if you think fanfiction should ever involve money - stop writing it.Stop posting it. Get the fuck out of fandom.

DO NOT TRY TO SELL OR MONETIZE SOMEONE ELSE'S COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL. IT'S ILLEGAL.

Again, take this same energy, same gusto, same rhetoric, to the fan art and bootleg merch makers happily selling all over tumblr, etsy, etc., and who people who follow your page also happily and actively purchase from, and I'll support you. It's the dictionary definition of a double-standard to tell one group of people to not do a thing while another identical group does the exact same thing with your blessing and/or blind eye. If you ACTUALLY care about fandom this seriously and the legal implications of it, GO ALL IN. Otherwise this is just hypocrisy. Like you said, you aren't the fandom police, so maybe you should take your own advice, knock it off, and leave people alone.

EDIT: I'll add also, in case this escapes containment- I'm not demanding everyone should agree with me, I think we should simply make room for the people who do happen to have a desire to make a buck off their writing the same as anyone else in fandom without giving them a hard time or going to the puritanical pulpit over it. Everyone should be able to control their work how they want- free, sale, donations, whatever. The world won't end and you won't be banned forever from writing or posting fanfic just because a handful decide they might like to sell- that's a crazy idea to propagate. Our beloved fan artists and merch makers carry along just fine, and so will any writer who wants to do the same.

I just saw someone say "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism" as an argument for boycotting AO3

Babe AO3 is a nonprofit. They do not exist under the ethics of capitalism. Fanfiction is legal because no money is ever exchanged around it. (All the money given to AO3 is used to maintain their servers and pay their lawyers to help keep fanfiction legal.)

Fanfiction is one of the few things in this world - probably the one singular form of entertainment that does not exist within the confines of capitalism. So by your own logic, even if you hate some of the content on AO3, it's inherently the only ethical thing to consume in the whole world.

[lucydixon]

Eddie, finding out you write fanfiction blurb

Eddie Munson Masterlist 𐴱 Main Masterlist 𐴱 Taglist 𐴱 Reading List 𐴱 Pinned Post 𐴱 Moodboard side-Blog

Thinking about how Fanfiction has been a thing for far longer than the internet has, and how if you were in Hawkins in the 80s, Eddie would think it's so fucking cool that you write about his favourite nerd movies and shows. Maybe he regularly reads your stuff in fanzines and doesn't even know it's you. He waits by the mailbox for the next issue to come in, hoping that his now favourite writer has submitted a piece to be featured every week. Maybe he even shows you his favourites and gushes over them, oblivious to the way your eyes widen and your cheeks burn every time.

I can picture him grabbing for a notebook from a stack in your room while the two of you are studying, and you not realizing at first that it wasn't one of your school notebooks. He'd be suspiciously quiet for long enough that you stop what you're doing to look at him, and you'd be horrified to see that he was reading your fanfiction drafts with a look of disbelief on his face.

Then the questions would come. A rapid-fire ramble of thoughts falling from his lips while you sit there, still frozen in shock.

"This whole time, it's been you?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "You let me fangirl over them right in front of you, Jesus Christ." "Oh, my god. This is so cool! I'm friends with a famous person!"

"Can I tell hellfire? We have to tell them. They're gonna lose their minds."

You'd finally get a handle on yourself and beg him not to tell anyone, and explain that you only had the balls to submit anything because of the anonymity. He wouldn't be mad, it would be more curiosity and awe than anything, but he'd never let you live it down. He'd continue gushing over your stories, reading them out loud to the boys at lunch while discreetly sending a wink your way, knowing full well that he got to read them before they ever made it into the mail from then on.

Dividers and Banners by me on my side-blog @dividers-are-us

Taglist:@justalotoffanfiction @s1mp-4-ga11y @farrowroyale @awkward00noodle @shokihomin @jjmaybankswifes-blog @mdurdenpitt @buckyswife108 @walleloveseve @zroberts13 @gxpsywitch19

[gin-juice-tonic]

Sometimes I think about Stan Pines writing a self help book. It would be titled "Get Rich Quick. Quicker. Quickest: The Completely Tried and True Stan Pines Approved Money Making Method."

Ultimately I always decide it has the potential to be actually real-life unethical to create something like this in full. Releasing a snippet of what it would look like however, is something I've decided is okay.

Manifesting Money:

When you wake up in the morning every day, you need to start the day off right. And I'm not talking about breakfast or stretching or saying "I love you" to your family either. I'm talking about the hard work. The real work. What you gotta do is you gotta get up, get on your feet, and shout "I want money, and I want it now!" as loud as your lungs can manage. Maybe open a window and yell it out to the streets if you feel so inclined.

You may ask yourself: What does this even do? Well I'll tell you what it does; what it does is it gets your body's "money juices" and "money energies" and "money energy juices" flowing, of course! Normal people can maybe muster up some money juice. Maybe even some money energy when the moon is a waxing gibbous. But if you've picked up this book, you're not normal. You've got what it takes to make it. You can instinctively feel why this is so important, and why you have to yell it so loud.

Stuck up "natural" or "chemical" scientist types don't want you to know this, but back in the 1970s some real research entrepreneurs (or, "Rentrepreneurs" in the money science world) discovered an important secret about the universe: The Law of Money Magnetism. This tells us that you have to spend money to make money. It's a universal certainty, thoroughly studied in over 18 studies in 200 study based countries. A lesser author might insert some graphs or citations here, but as you and I know Time is Money, and I won't waste your time or your hard earned money on that. I'll skip right to the good stuff, how this law relates to you.

While you've got all the various money juice and money juice related energies flowing, you're going to get an envelope, 3 dollars cash, and a post office approved stamp and mail out those 3 dollars to me, Stan Pines, 618 Gopher Road, Gravity Falls, Oregon. It's very important to know and truly believe in the symbology behind this ritual, or else it may not work. Pay close attention to this:

-The 3 of dollars is representative of the three types of energy juices. -The envelope represents the container that holds the energy juices. -The stamp is the container's seal and magic charm. It keeps all that good energy juice from leaking out of its container, and grants it safe passage on its journey to my humble money sanctuary. -Your address and name and My address and name being on this same container connects our energies. We are Money Bonded in this moment.

Got all that? Especially the bit about the address? Stan Pines, 618 Gopher Road, Gravity Falls, Oregon? Good, because altogether, this is your "Money Magnetism Deposit", and it guarantees that you've done your part in the spending for the making. The first half of the law has been fulfilled. Now you can focus the rest of your day on the making for the spending!

Stan's Quick Cash Tip #37: The envelope has to be sent to me so that I can direct my money making energy beams back towards you. Don't think you can go and send those three dollars to your favorite charity or local animal hospital or that sick kid down the street from you. Those kinda joints don't make money, they lose it. And they'll send all their loser money losing energy beams back towards you. You want Successful Businessman Stan Pines energy, not sick horse college fund energy.

[chanbig]

tumblr wont let me tag you on a new post but I will always elaborate on chanbig shibari 😏

my friend told me about her idea of big going back to his and chan's room on his birthday and chan is there, tied up like a present just for him, having learned how to do some shibari knots on himself. and it made me think if chan wasnt already tied up but wanted big to do it for him.

and I was like big would love it as a treat, especially if normally when they tie each other up, its much more functional as a restraint (one of the perks of being a bodyguard is being very quick and efficient with ropes 😏) but maybe he had seen pictures of shibari somewhere and maybe chan even did it for him a couple of times, but he hadn't gotten the opportunity to see chan restrained with it. and i thought of this photo

and I think big would find it very hot if chan gave him the rope and he got to be the one to tie chan up, chan sitting very still for him as he wraps the rope around his chest, pulling his hands behind his back, chan just looking up at him as he ties the rope around chans wrists. And he knows chan has been captured and restrained before by their enemies, but he's very calm now with big, closing his eyes as big brushes his hands through his hair and down his shoulders, tracing the edge of the ropes very lightly, and he can see chan is already getting hard, just from this. and he feels very powerful, almost drunk with it, his heart beating hard in his chest, because he wants this, and chan wants this too, wants to hand over control to him for a while, which from chan means so much. and there's the thought that he could do anything to chan, which makes him dizzy, but what he wants is to give chan the same experience chan gives him, when hes the one tied up - the feeling that his trust is in the right hands with big, that he can let go, and big will take control and give him everything he wants

AND NOW I NEED TO DRAW IT or write it or somethinggg aahhhhhh

you are morally ethicallyand spiritually obligated. to think about gay sex on the clock

[ceristelle]

IF your request are open (heavily exaggerating the ‘if’) could you PLEASE write TBHK with a mute fem reader who chooses not to speak but one day she says something super mundane and simple and it’s big to the TBHK characters but it doesn’t really matter to her and didn’t take a lot of courage for her to do, just something that she chooses to say because she trusts and cares for them.

thank yew 💕💕 (you don’t have to do it, but I’ve gotta get this thought out because it’s been in my head for weeks with Akane (male) and Teru + kou)

ᝰ.ᐟ AND THEN YOU SPOKE. → tbhk

you’ve always chosen silence. not because you were afraid, just because you never needed to speak. one day, you do. and for them, it means everything. ft. akane aoi, teru minamoto & kou minamoto

notes: i didn’t forget you, dw <3 all my posts are scheduled so when i got your req, i had to let it sit in my drafts until the queue cleared up 💌

warnings: female reader. other than that, none

akane thinks he’s hallucinating at first.

you’re both sitting on the rooftop, watching clouds shift in lazy patterns overhead. he’s mid-rant—something about upcoming exams or how exhausting it is to be around someone who’s more interested in a screen than an actual person for five minutes straight—to which you suspect he’s referring to lemon, by the way—as you nod along, calm as always, sipping juice through a straw like none of the chaos bothers you.

and then he hears it. quiet. offhanded. simple.

“i like listening to you talk.”

dead silence. akane whips his head around so fast you wonder for a second if he snapped his neck. his face flushes immediately, ears turning a very specific shade of ‘i-was-not-prepared-for-this’.

“wh—wha—hold on.” he blinks rapidly, eyes blown wide. “you—you talked!? to me!? did i just hallucinate that!?”

you blink. “no.”

he’s not breathing properly, but leans forward like he’s trying to stare deep into your soul. “are you okay? are you okay!? did i just unlock a secret route or something??”

you shrug in response, deciding to speak a little more to see his reaction even further. “you looked like you needed to hear it.”

akane goes silent once again. you didn’t say it dramatically or even whisper it shyly like he might have imagined before. it just...was. like breathing.

he drags a hand down his face, visibly struggling to reboot. “...you can’t just say stuff like that. i’m fragile.”

when you clamp a hand over your mouth to muffle the quiet giggle that escaped from your lips, he knows he’s doomed.

fully, and helplessly so.

teru doesn’t press you. never has.

he carries himself with poise, the practiced charm of someone used to being listened to—but he never makes you feel like your silence is a void that needs filling.

when people ask why you don’t speak, he answers for you calmly without batting an eye. “she doesn’t need to. i understand her just fine.” and he genuinely means it.

so it catches him off-guard. not because he’s surprised by you, but because he knows you don’t do anything without reason. when you murmur something, clear and soft while he’s bandaging a scrape on your hand after a brief run-in with a low-ranked supernatural.

“...you’re really gentle.”

teru’s fingers still.

for a moment, he doesn’t even look at you. just watches the way your hand rests calmly in his, like this moment isn’t anything strange or new.

he exhales silently, soft and a tad shaky. “...you spoke.”

he glances up, and there’s no fear or shyness in your eyes. no hesitation. just pure trust.

his lips twitch at the corners, his voice quieter than usual when he speaks next.

“thank you.” he finishes wrapping your hand with more care than before. “i’ll try to live up to that compliment every time.”

and he means that, too.

kou never minded your silence. in fact, he liked it.

you didn’t need words to make yourself heard—he could always tell what you were thinking, somehow. that look you gave him when you were amused? adorable. the not so subtle eye-roll when he said something stupid? fair. the small smile you saved just for him? deadly.

he got used to the quiet between you two. comfortable, even.

which is why when he hears it—your voice, so soft it barely cuts through the air—he almost drops the box he was carrying.

“thanks, kou.”

it was just after he helped you move something heavy. nothing heroic or wild. but the way you said it—calm, casual, like it wasn’t a big deal, had his brain glitching.

“you—” he blinks in disbelief. “wait. you just—did you just say something?”

you nod once, unbothered. almost like you didn’t just launch him into emotional orbit.

“holy crap.” he’s so flabbergasted he even sets the box down. “you talked. you actually talked. to me.”

his voice cracks mid-sentence. his ears flush red as he clears his throat fast and rubs the back of his neck, a smile tugging at his lips that he tries so hard to suppress but fails.

“i mean—it’s not like you have to or anything, i just—wow.” kou looks at you again, this time like he’s seeing something new with how obviously awestruck his eyes are, glimmering in the light. “that was...really cool.”

you smile at him warmly.

he falls a little harder.

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

Fucked it up !

Yet another fic hehe:3 doing anything but posting part 4 of Moth Drawn To Flame...Forgive me y'all! I'm having writer's block, so I don't like anything I'm writing rn. I don't like this either but, oh well...I still wanna keep updating. Anyway, dividers by @cafekitsune tagging: @shintaru @ravenwritten @bfwooin @sylith @wthphe1n @zyart-jpg @bunnygirlgonewild @kuchisabishiiiii @i-nssomniia @mscatheart @erisawrites

Wooin has always been the type to catch up on trends, know what's trending rn and what's not. To be entirely honest, he's the one that introduced you to many trends in the first place, which later you got obsessed with. And truthfully? He didn't mind. Those stupid pranks you pulled? Entertaining, at least for him—even though you'd get frustrated for almost never being able to prank him. But whenever you succeed, you'd always celebrate it and gosh, that cute little celebration? He found it so adorable that he couldn't even get mad at you.

He was almost always informed on what was going on social media and never has he made a mistake during pranks or even during your stupid lil questions that girlfriends often asked their boyfriends.

But everything can happen at least once, huh?

You were spread out on the bed, watching Wooin play one of his online game that you already forgot the name of—but he surely loved it. However, your mind was drifting to another places, specifically to the memory of something you came across on tiktok and for whatever reason, curiosity ate you up whole, wanting to know how Wooin would react.

So, with a playful smirk, you leaned over his shoulder and rested your chin on him, mumbling excitedly. "Damnn, my current boyfriend is very good at playing games."

His fingers paused, his head tilting a little to get a look at your expression. He wasn't offended, no. He was trying to figure you out. What intentions did you have now, huh? Make him jealous? How cute. Shouldn't you know better?

You spoke up again. "I want to play it with you, current boyfriend."

He almost snickered. "Current?"

You hummed, nodding your head. "Yup, current."

Oh. He gets it. That's what you want, huh. Well, two can play at that game.

"Aww, really.." He turned to his screen once again, continuing his game. "I'm your current boyfriend?"

"Yup!" You answered without hesitation.

"Then you're my current girlfriend. Still thinking if I should keep you or upgrade to someone who can cook."

He said it.

Gosh, he really said it.

With no hesitation.

Your smile faltered before completely disappearing, your eyebrows knitted together as you frowned upon him. "What..?"

He turned to look at you, completely unfazed by what he just said. "What?"

"Why would you say that?" You tried to laugh but your voice almost cracked.

He sighed like this was giving him headache, turning his phone off. "Because you started it?"

"I called you my current boyfriend because I want you to be my husband one day..." You explained, your voice trailing quieter, watching the way his mouth parted open in surprise. "But..You think I'm repleacable instead?"

His phone almost dropped from his hands, his expression more than just surprised, but also capturing the moment of realization on him. He could swear to god, he started cursing himself in his head.

"No. No, I don't—fuck, baby, I was joking." He gets up from the floor, sitting on the bed beside you, his fingers immediately linking with you.

You fought the urge to swat his hand away, but you didn't. In the end, you knew he just misunderstood what you were trying to say but, damn, that hurt so bad. And that familiar yet very unpleasant feeling of your heart feeling heavy, eyes burning from unshed tears, settled in your chest. "You...You said it like it could happen, you know."

"I'm sorry.." He groaned, laying you back down on your back, his head resting on your chest while his arms wrapped themselves around your waist. "I thought you were pranking me and I thought I'd match your energy, but I misunderstood what you truly meant. And you know how I am—Joking about shits I shouldn't."

You sighed to yourself, your gaze glued to ceiling. "You're stupid."

He clossed his eyes in acceptance. "Yeah, yeah, I'm stupid." Though, there was no seriousness in his voice while saying that.

"And idiotic if you thought I'd ever joke about replacing you." You huffed, shifting beneath him to have space for yourself but he has glued himself on you like a parasite, unwilling to let you go, like his life depended on you.

"I'm sorry, I fucked it up." He muttered, cursing under his breath. How could he not understand your intentions in the first place? You were like an open book, easy to read, easy to understand. But only because he thought he could get stupid for a second— gosh, the more he thinks about it, the more he hates himself for it. "It was just a dumb joke. I didn't mean it."

You didn't answer. Instead, you were much more interested in the ceiling, avoiding eye contact with him. He groaned again—not in annoyance, no—but because he felt so stupid in moments like this, awkward and stupid. "You're not gonna be replaced, you know that, right?"

You finally looked at him, your lips curled in disdain and unamusement. "I better not. Or I'll cut your balls off."

"See?" He smirked, lifting his head from your chest. "Who needs forgiveness when I can have my beautiful girlfriend threatening me with Castration?"

Your lips twitched in smile slightly and he didn't miss that moment. His heart calmed down now that he successfully made you smile, even if slight.

"But seriously..." He rubbed his neck, glancing down at you. "Let me make it up to you, yeah?"

"And how?" You raised your eyebrow at him.

"I'll buy us matching rings from Chrome Hearts, deal? The ones you've been eyeing for." He noticed. He always noticed how much you loved Chrome Hearts rings. So, for a while, he's been planning to make them customize for you and perfect moment for that finally came.

His attentiveness made you forget about what you were upset about in the first place. You sit up on the bed, still not done with him. "And ice cream."

"And ice cream, of course."

You bit your lip. Gosh, he was so annoying sometimes but great heavens, you were so lucky to have him.

"And kisses." He added, his smirk stretching wider.

"What—Oh—" You were caught off guard by him suddenly pressing his lips to yours in a firm kiss, as if he was pouring all his apologies and promises in it.

And maybe he was. Hence, he kissed you breathless, cupping your cheek in his hand, slowly cradling you as if you were most delicate thing he has ever touched.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath—cheeks flushed, he asked. "Am I forgiven?"

You nodded your head, still distracted by the kiss and closeness of his presence. "Mhm. But don't joke like that again."

"I won't." He left peck on your lips. "Never again."

[forgottenwriter]

An In-Deph Look At the R/Trans Drama

All right, I said before that I'd break this one down. Now, I'm not a big blog. I have less than 50 followers. I don't really think that whether I make this or not will make a ton of difference overall. But I've seen people asking about what's going on, and I've seen misinformation getting spread around, and more than that, whether my platform is big or not, I feel called to make use of it for something as important as this. I'm trans too, and though I'm not a trans guy, I know what it feels like to desperately look to your allies when you're hurting inside only to get deafening silence in return.

So I'm gonna speak. I'll start with a basic summary over what happened, followed by an in-depth look and examination. This will be a long post, probably several days in the writing. Either that, or I'll break it into a series of posts and reblogs.

The Summary: What the hell Happened on R/Trans?

R/Trans is a subreddit which boasts 611K members, making it a truly massive trans community. It was established in May 9th, 2011, meaning that it is also a fairly old trans community. It's linked to R/lgbt via shared moderators (We'll cover that in a bit.)

r/Trans styles itself as a community for the support of trans people. All trans people, and states such in its own rules: ''Rule 4: This Space is for Transgender People

While we appreciate that many cisgender people want to support transgender people, r/trans is a space for transgender people to discuss their lives and issues that surround them, and submissions from outside of the community are not welcome in this subreddit.

If you are a cis person with a question about the trans community, or the partner of a cis person, please ask your question in r/AskTransgender.

If you are the parent of a trans child, you can ask your questions in r/cisparenttranskid.'' Furthermore, it solidifies this claim again later in the same rules:

''Rule 6: No Gatekeeping Ideologies

Our subreddit is one specifically aimed at allowing people to explore their identity and creating a safe space for those identities to be explored. Truscum, transmedicalist, and other gatekeeping ideologies do not serve our subreddit's goals and comments or posts promoting such are prohibited. This specifically includes suggesting that gender affirming medical care should only be available to adults.''

Okay, so far, it looks pretty good right? Big community. Old community. Open to everyone. Cares for us all. it's basically perfect. Exactly what we need! The only way this could be ruined is if the mod team were actually highly biased against a specific group of trans people and trying to hide behind feigned inclusiveness, but that would never happen, right?

Oh. Oh dear.

Slightly more than a week ago, a user on r/trans made a long, detailed post on the treatment of transmen in the community. This post was largely well received by all members therein. I want to drive that in very strongly. This was not a community issue. Most people who read that post agreed with it, and supported the user in their points and venting.

The post was made to two places, r/trans and r/lgbt. It can furthermore be found here. If you would like to check it yourself, I encourage you to do so. I am trying to be largely unbiased, but as you can certainly tell by my tone, my scorn at this whole situation is leaking through. I don't want you to take my word for this. I'm a guide. I'll be dropping links. Check this shit out yourself, okay?

Anyway, back to the story. So, the user made those posts, and for about a week, nothing happened. It was business as usual. Then, 3 days ago, that post vanished. It was removed by the mods with no warning or indication as to why.

The user made another post asking for clarification here. As you can see, that post has also been removed.

Yeah.

Not a great sign, huh?

But that's not where it ends. Buckle in, because we're only at the start of the wild ride.

During the thread asking for clarification, the orginal poster was told the following: ''Your previous post was removed for talking about how trans men "are talked about and cared about so little that many people don't actually know the shit we go through."

This is divisive to the community.

You even called out the reason the post is divisive when you said "Please do not respond to this post with "Well I think trans men are talked about less because society sees them as confused women" or anything like that."

You knew the post would bring in arguments. Posts that encourage fighting about who or why is oppressed are not allowed.''

So, we're running into issues right away. To be clear, this sort of post is very expected in this community... when it's talking about trans women. The post the original poster made was accepted by the majority and no one considered it an issue for a week. As a reminder, you are free to check it yourself to see if it is the kind of post that would be against the rules. I encourage you to do so if you haven't already.

Furthermore, the Op told us that they received modmail from the sub too:

''The rude comments from mods I got were the following:

In my messages when I asked why my post was taken down, I was told it was because "sexual assault is not unique to trans men" in response to my post pointing out trans men's disproportionate rates of being sexually assaulted. I was also told that the dismissal of trans men "doesn't happen" and then I had two comments about my post being "oppression olympics" even though I clearly stated multiple times in my post that was not the point, and was very deliberate with my language to ensure I was not putting anybody down while trying to pull trans men up.''

Some of these messages have been screenshot and can be read here.

So, following this, the second post asking for clarification was removed for ''bitching'', and one of the mods may or may not have used ''bitch'' as a slur specifically to refer to the original poster who is FtM, but I've been unable to chase up any screenshots of that. I believe it happened, but Imma be transparent with that one. Believe or not at your own discretion.

Anyway, the community fucking exploded. Turns out that a lot of people actually weren't okay with this, and felt it was a little bit bullshit for a trans guy to get thwacked for a post that would have been absolutely acceptable from a trans girl.

In response, the mods banned the original poster for three days, and made an announcement I will quite below:

''Stop With The Trans Man Post Removal Commentary

We have now removed a dozen posts of people complaining about the one where a mod removed a post espousing how trans men are treated differently in trans circles and by the world. We have replied to the OP, explaining exactly how their post was divisive to the community. The post was also removed by a trans masc mod, so please stop saying it's oppression by the trans fem mods.

We are actively monitoring the sub and removing any posts that are talking about this. These posts are not going to change our stance on the original post. We are not currently banning people for it if they only post once, though usually they would be for causing disturbances. However, those who continue to harass the sub and the mods with this will receive temporary bans. We are also not sending out removal notices for them, because every person posting it knows why it's being removed.''

The announcement has been been removed, but you can find the deleted notification here.

I also wanna address another thing straight up. This is the first instance of what I believe to be a direct lie on the part of the mod team. They claim that their singular trans masc mod was the one who removed the post. As far as I can find, that is straight untrue. The trans masc mod has since left, and commented that they left pretty much as soon as they realised what had gone down and that they were being dragged out as a shield. They didn't comment specifically on whether it was them that removed the post... but given they say they left as soon as they were aware, have not defended the action, have actively opposed the action, and the mod team have continually tried to reach out to ftm people to act as shields, I am pretty confident in saying that hey did not, in fact, remove that post.

Also, yes, they did eventually start to ban people who refused to be quiet about this.

Now, at some point, the original post also got pulled from r/lgbt, and it turns out, the two subs have a mod overlap. Given the original post is breaking no rules on either sub, this is starting to look a lot like ass covering as the fires really start to light up.

But oh boy, it gets worse. By now, things were starting to boil over. Not only was it leaking to r/lgbt but also r/ftm, which I must say, was handling it significantly better, but we will get onto that later. We still have a lot to go, and I'm trying not to jump ahead.

So, around this point, the mods are starting to realise they fucked up. The original poster is unbanned, and the same mod who made the earlier announcement had this to say:

''From the exhausted mod who is really trying to figure out what to do:

When I made my original post, I was unaware of the mod who actually did insult the OP in the comments. I thought they were talking about modmail, which I have personally been trying to manage for the last three hours, and I did not insult the OP in them. OP and I are discussing the situation now, and I would like to apologize to everyone for the inappropriate way one of our mods talked to the community.

I really am not trying to silence anyone's voice. I'm sorry that's how things came across. But if we keep getting flooded with hate for the mods, the people who want to talk about their own stuff outside this issue are going to get drowned out, and that's not fair to the other members of the sub. And even if we reapprove the post, we're still going to get flooded by people who are angry it went down in the first place. I've been trying to figure out how to handle this for the last like three hours, and I don't know what I can actually possibly do to stop this.

So, I guess if you want to rant at me here in the comments about how horrible I am for trying to figure out how to deescalate a situation that has gotten way out of hand, and that I shouldnt feel like crying in a corner right now because I don't know how to handle this, because I'm just a normal person who has had their Saturday afternoon turn into a shit show.... then go for it. If comments are removed on this post, it's because they've been sent to the queue for review, not because I am actively removing them.''

So, the first thing I wanna do is point out how manipulative this comment is. It's taking what should be a rather direct post about the community - what happened, what's being done about it, how they hope to go on - and making it about the mod themselves. ''I'm tired, I'm the victim, go on and hate me.''

This is a pretty classic trick that is sometimes used to misdirect, and guilt trip people. While directing hate is always, always, always bad, by making the conversation about hatred directed at the mod staff, it's totally side-stepping the original issue. It's far easier to defend your actions when you cast yourself as being pelted with hatred than it is when you have to own up to the fact that you and your staff are pulling posts by transmen and transmascs for no reason.

No one should be hated, no one should be sent hatemail, but we have to be able to discern when someone is being sent hate and when someone is using hate as a shield so they don't have to deal with the consequences of their actions. And this right here? This is a classic example of that. It takes the whole point and spins it from where it should be - ''We fucked up'' in order to take it to a weird, victim place where anyone who tries to press the issue is the bad guy because the mods are stressed and overworked and need to be babied.

If this was an isolated thing, I would be far more willing to give it a pass. Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes, and everyone overreacts. Sometimes, we do feel like the put upon victim, and I am not saying that mods deserve hatred, or that they're free targets, or that anyone who spews bile at another person is good.

But remember how it was the trans masc mod who removed the post right up until it wasn't? This is the point where I wanna get back r/ftm. You see, the mods from /rtrans reached out to the staff, supposedly because they wanted the r/ftm mods to check them and make sure that they weren't being biased. But the impression the ftm staff got was very different.

Here is a quote from a conversation between the mod staff of r/trans and r/ftm

''Trans Mod: No, actually. The modmail sent to your team about the situation was legitimately asking if the mods of other trans subs thought we were acting out of line, because nobody here was questioning the removal, but the sub was up in arms about it. The mod was legitimately asking for feedback to see if they misinterpreted the post from people who weren't raging at us. You could have replied to the modmail and said, "hey, this is spilling over here, and we think you misunderstood the post and your reasoning behind the removals for these reasons." Instead, you ignored us and made your own post, sharing private moderator information about the contents of the modmail, and essentially blamed our sub for being transphobic. [downvoted]

Ftm Mod: The modmail you sent did not read like that at all. It honestly did read like you just wanted us on your side and to have us further take action against users posting on our sub. The contents of the modmail that was shared were honestly something we felt were not acceptable things to say, and we were shocked and disgusted with the blatant disregard for trans men/transmascs. We felt that because things were being deleted and hidden left and right, it was important information to provide.''

Link to this conversation is here. I have only covered a bit of it, there are more details if you want.

So, we have a situation where the staff is claiming the post was removed by their single transmasc member, who tried to rope the ftm mods into backing them in a way that made that staff feel uncomfortable, and who then tried to play the victim card when their community was on fire.

This is the point where their sole transmasc mod left. He had this to say:

''By staying on the mod team I would've been just as culpable

Disclaimer: I voluntarily resigned and I wasn't banned''

Source

He furthermore had this to say about the staff of r/trans:

''Former Mod: For starters, in June of 2024, there used to be a mod who had her own unrelated Discord server I was in for about 8 months (a different mod from the one that made that comment); who begged for money for the members of her Discord server and never paid them back. I managed to bring all the to the attention of the mod team using screengrabs of Discord DMs from the people that mod conned out of their money as evidence, and she was removed. Edit for important information: I was never under any confidentiality or agreements like that.

Former Mod: To be honest I think that whole situation in June '24 was what started my suspicions of issues going on with how the server was being run. When I was on their dedicated moderator Discord earlier today, they essentially pretended that the mod who made that comment never did anything...

Former Mod: I couldn't be complicit in such exclusivity, so I pretty much was like "screw y'all" and left. Idc care if I'm called a traitor or shit like that; I felt that stepping down from my mod position and unsubbing was the moral thing to do.

Former Mod: The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back was they didn't remove the mod who made that comment (y'all know the one)''

Source

At this point, the head mod mod stepped in, removed the mod who had made the bitching comment, and tried to calm things down. Everyone who was banned was restored, and the sub was unrestricted again. Sounds like the end, right?

Well, no. Sadly, it seems that transmasc and transman support posts are still mysteriously vanishing, as are posts that talk about the drama. We still have one last twist in our tale, my friends.

You see, remember how I mentioned there was mod overlap between r/trans and /lgbt? Well, it turned out, that same mod also mods a bunch of LGBTQ subs....and a conservative sub.

Yeah.

Now, here is an example of the kind of posts that are flying in their sub. This is suspected to be the same mod who pulled the original post from r/lgbt, and is potentially the one who pulled it from r/trans.

So that's where we stand right now. My short summary turned out to be nothing of the sort, I suppose. I'll post this separately, it seems long enough now to stand on its own. At some point soon, I'll follow it up with my own personal take on the situation, but this should stand alone as a document to help anyone wondering just what happened.

I would like to rep R/SubredditDrama for being the place I pulled most of these quotes and links from. Find it here.

if you wanna pursue your own research, this is a good place to start.

[hellothisisangle]

hi! stupid question, but is your v a full body conversion, or just heavily modded? ive been writing about my own fbc cyberpunk character (not v, cyberpunk red, so 2045) so you've been showing up on my dash a lot recently.

oh also, what are your v's pronouns? i get the vibe of any/all from your posts.

No stupid questions! Thanks for asking! ❤️ The conversion amount depends on the timeline (cannon 2077 game events or just Vignette living in night city regardless, because I also envision them in alt universes)

Before immigrating to NC from the badlands, they have the default deck and some eye/frontal lobe augmentation.

After living in NC for a few years, they scrounge up enough eddies to get some significant modifications: synthetic skin, some organ replacements, full arm and calve conversions, plating along the skin, the “hair” slot, and further eye/face/brain augmentations. (And notably fem/masc interchangeable parts) At this point, they’re still cyborg, not fully chrome, although looking like it from the outside.

This is where the events of the game don’t fit well, because Vignette would be dirt poor- diet of cigarettes and jaeger, crashing on friends’ couches and alley corners, foregoing basic and necessary needs over outfitting themselves after every paycheck.

Eventually, if this addiction isn’t confronted, they would move on to full body conversion. I’ve been working on a design I’m not quite done with 👇

And the pronouns thing is something I explored while RPing. Upfront- I really don’t care at all what anyone uses for Vignette (he/she/they/it), you’ll see me use “they” a lot for many of my characters because being non-gender specific just comes more naturally. In-game prologue, I specifically began with (m) V body+voice+pronouns. With mods, I then progressed with (f) V body+pronouns and (m) V voice. Which fit the outlook of people generally assuming (f), but internally feeling (m). Being forced to mature fast and experience a lot of gender repression from their tribe has left them in a conflicting state. From Vignette’s perspective, it is not something they are confident about proclaiming one way or the other, and they won’t correct anyone even while having preferences. Most often, with everything else going on in their life, the psychological aspect of identity gets put on the sidelines, or straight up is something they want to distract themselves from

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

...Would you guys like a dog?

Hello,

Very random post from an inactive author I know. (Well, inactive in posting ask's I mean; I have been working on the story a lot in recent days. and we are projected to reach 100k by next update. Yeah. Wasn't kidding, grief does wonders for my productivity as you will soon see why.)

But um, to put it simply—I am distraught.

In recent weeks my beloved childhood dog, Kiba, has had numerous visits to the vet due to a constant bleeding and a growth forming in his mouth. We were told it is cancer and that it has reached his jaw bone, this was all very sudden and we had no clue until it was way too late to save him.

I just said goodbye to him right now, I don't have the heart to see him fully go; so thankfully my parents were willing to take him for me to the animal hospital one last time to put him to sleep.

He was my first dog and has been with me from elementary all the way to college, I am happy I got this much time with him but it just hurts really bad to say goodbye.

-

But trauma dumping aside, I don't know if everyone knows this but this story was made because of the passing of my Uncle Chris; he was my dad's best friend that I considered family and was extremely close to. When he died my little sister Brianna passed a week later, the grief I felt led me to writing this story and finding catharsis in the hellish cycle of creative writing.

I love this story and writing it brings me a lot of healing, I always find ways to reference and honor my loved ones it it's world building and it is extremely likely I will find a way to channel my grief for Kiba into this story too.

So before I go off and make big changes, I wanted to include you all. Would you like MC to have a dog themselves or have traveler own the dog? Because I am immortalizing Kiba one way or another tbh (sorry if that comes off rude, I am just hurting a lot right now).

I was originally going to have MC pick up the dog as a stray and nurse it back to health under June's guidance (don't you love parallels?). But I kind of see a potential plot hole if your MC choses to see Sombra as competition for June's affection (although I could explain that it's different because Sombra is June's animal and this dog would be MC's); I also don't want to force too much of a self insert on you guys. So I want to give you guys the choice before I just went ahead with my plan B.

The other idea I was going to go with is just have Traveler own the dog, MC camps and travels with her often enough in the story that I could write for the dog to be present along side you both as you travel while keep the interactions controlled and limited. I am partial to this idea but I wanted your guy's opinion.

And yeah this is a one day poll because I need to write ASAP, for my own sake. Thank you all for your input and understanding, I am sorry for the depressing post.

I hope everyone else is doing better than I currently am right now, literally crying as I type this lol. I just want to leave this collage of my good boy on this post as well, just to mark this date of his passing on this blog and honor him.

Good God, I am going to miss him.

[togglesbloggle]

Man and Superman

So my Tumblr notes are currently dominated by this thing, which is, you know, very cute and everyone's being very nice and the usual amount of weird about it. Everyone keeps wanting to steal it for their fanfics (yes, you can, feel free and do not be ashamed), a truly alarming number of people have cried at the club (none of you people are at the club, you're all liars), eighteen separate people have warned me to get him a mouthguard (working on it).

It's a small thing, but- a little while ago, I noticed offhandedly that I hadn't mentioned my gender in it. Ritter's gender is explicit, but I speak only in the first person. "Toggle" isn't a traditionally gendered sort of name either, unless you count the freudian implications. The icon's technically a male portrait, but only if you're real good at squinting and even then those aren't terribly diagnostic. So anyway, the post hit escape velocity without my gender being particularly along for the ride, and people had to interpret it accordingly.

As of this writing, the husbandposting has gotten a bit north of 25K notes. I know with confidence that its path has taken it through trad tumblr, catholic tumblr, it's at least skirted the edge of radfem trumblr, and any number of other places. And not once has anybody made any particular assumptions about what my gender is. They don't wonder out loud, either. Nobody has assumed that I must be a woman because I am in bed next to a man, or that I am a man for that matter; nobody treats my gender as a puzzle that they have to solve before they know how to feel about the post, at least not where I can see in the notes.

People (the younger ones, anyway) have this superpower nowadays: the power to appreciate a romantic situation without filtering it through sexed lenses in any particular way. They don't know it's a superpower, because it's so obvious to them, but it very much is- back in the 90s and early 00s, almost none of us had it. I know I didn't, though I've since discovered the capacity. If this kind of thing was printed in the newspaper back then, I guarantee you that the median reader would absolutely, 100%, be assuming I was a woman, and feel wrong-footed and disoriented if they found out otherwise.

There's something instructive in that. We don't get to choose our children's ideology; even the thousand-year reign of the Morally Correct Imperium must eventually confront year one thousand and one. Those descendants may well despise us, may have values we find abhorrent or pathetic, and may well see us the same way. If that's true, then, whence progress? It's tempting to think of social progress as the march of a particular ideology, but no mere moral imperative will ever march into the future unaltered.

But sometimes, something real does change. Sometimes, people get superpowers. Which is to say, tools, useful and unilaterally better ways of seeing the world. 25,000 people correctly navigated the ambiguity of my husbandposting without making strong assumptions about its author; they were better at reading than their parents would have been, a strict improvement regardless of the moral values involved.

At its best and most real, social progress rhymes with technological progress- breaking free of the aimless cyclicity of history not by imposing a particular way of thinking, but by expanding the space of what can be conceived. Sure, there are predictable consequences to the existence of a superpower- once it's easy to appreciate romantic joy without anchoring it in a baseless assumption of heterosexuality, there are certain moral values and ethical policies that follow- but this is merely a knock-on effect.

The core of it, the thing that makes it persist through time without effort by some authority, is simply that it is more deeply entangled with reality than the alternative. It catches a little bit more of the Dao's subtlety, makes each of us a little bit more free- more capable of understanding our own corner of the world and expressing our own values, whatever those may be.

[plaidos]

god if i did have anything to “apologise for” i certainly wouldn’t do it after being serially stalked & harassed over multiple months, with my stalker making literally dozens dozens of new sockpuppet accounts just to lie about me, misgender me, call me me a “republican trumpie”, claim that trans women aren’t oppressed for being trans women, fabricate lies about my relationship, & share edited out-of-context screenshots posted by actual terfs who falsely accused me of being a pedophile.

if there was a nuggest of honest criticism at the centre of this blatantly transmisogynistic, openly anti-immigration harassment campaign of lies, then i’m sorry, you have totally forsaken the right to be upset about it when you dedicated multiple months of your life to stalking a woman who has repeatedly asked you to leave her alone. you are a creepy, manipulative liar who can’t write a compelling sentence to save their life.

give up while you’re ahead, because if this keeps going on, i actually have a couple leads on who’s been doing this thanks to an anonymous tip or two. happy woman stalking :)