#it has been 2 long 2 believe any different yk !!

[yeahspider]

whoa (mind in awe)🕸️

Ve’s note - hyunjin x f.vampire au . sfw but there are mentions of blood and biting because yk vampire . honestly this fluff with a supernatural twist. sorry for being inactive for so long school is draining but I'm back and taking requests for hard and soft thoughts/ headcanons/ prompts all that good stuff. not proofread ofc. might do a part 2 but only if it’s requested :) enjoy my bees ! <3

"I'm still not understanding why you have to feed from other people when I'm right here." hyunjin stated with his signature pout as you came home a little late from a feed. You and Hyunjin had been dating for a while, and you never hid who you were from him. You were soulmates, after all, bound to be together. After 450 years on this earth by yourself, you were ecstatic to find your mate in the form of the handsome painter who was in love with you at first sight.

He walked up to you and draped his arms around your body. as you took off your coat. Seeking comfort in the warmth of his mate. Hyunjin never flinched at the sight of you after a feed. In fact, he took it in stride. His only issue was that you fed on other people instead of him. Deep down, he was jealous; what was so different about him that his partner had to outsource to keep herself fed. You always assured him he wasn't the issue, but he couldn't stop his inner securities from taking over sometimes.

"I've already told you thousands of times why hyune. It's not safe. I could hurt you." You said as you took a deep sigh and breathed in his scent. Oranges and spring water. You welcomed his scent after being around other people and their smells all day.

Your statement caused a frown on his face, and you immediately wanted to wipe it off. You hated being the reason why he experienced any negative emotions. He grabbed your hand and led you to the bed, motioning you to sit down. Hyunjin didn't say anything for a while as he removed your heels from your feet. Once he had successfully removed your shoes, he rubbed your legs, easing any tension you had in your body from the day. You looked down from where he knelt at your feet, his beautiful eyes simultaneously speaking so many words.

'You could never hurt me, my love. Never in a million years." Maybe it was his hands on your body, the warmth radiating from his veins, warming your insides, or the sincerity that bled from his words. He indeed believed what he said. Hyunjin believed in you. In a way that no one ever has.

"Okay." you said simply as you connected your hands with his. The smile on his face was enough to make your dead heart start pumping again. If he believed in you, then you could believe in you.

[lovemyromance]

Why are there so many Elucien theories like

"oh, when Elain & Lucien touch for the first time everything will change"

Or "when Elain and Lucien finally talk... everything will change"

"Or when Elain & Lucien finally kiss for the first time... everything will change"

Are you forgetting that Elain & Lucien have interacted already? This is what SJM described their encounters as:

If that's not enough, and you think "oh well that's what Feyre thinks and she's an unreliable narrator in this situation 🙄" don't you worry. Here's what Elain thinks:

Strange. Uncomfortable.

SJM has not written a single positive Elucien interaction. It's all been Elain avoiding Lucien, Lucien avoiding Elain, Elain feeling uncomfortable, Lucien staying far, far, away.

I find it hard to believe anything about their interactions has changed, especially if they have barely interacted in ACOSF, even off page .

In fact, I literally just went through ACOSF and arguably Lucien has more mentions with Vassa & Jurian than he does Elain.

Here are all the times in ACOSF when he is mentioned and Elain is somewhat related (bonus: debunking Elain's black dress + Azriel & N&C hint + showing how Elriel interactions are different - positive - in comparison)

And you can argue "well that's just how Elain feels about the mating bond - not Lucien."

But the mating bond is ALL THEY HAVE. So if uncomfortable, strange, avoidant is how Elain treats the bond -why in the hell would she feel any different toward Lucien? They are synonymous at this point because they don't have any relationship outside the mating bond.

And all their interactions in ACOSF don't give me any hopes that SJM will continue down the Elucien path. She had to go out of her way to write this mating bond as an uncomfortable thing.

When she has described the mating bond in other pairings, it has always been positive (yk, once they get over the initial shock and accept the bond, which doesn't take very long. I think Feyre accepted it within like a week and Nesta theoretically accepted it when she came back from the BR). Elain has known about the bond for over like 1.5-2 years now? She has not changed her opinion, as we can see.

ACOSF didn't do any favors for Elucien. It set up Elriel, and I will die on this hill! I'm not even going to go into how most of Azriel's moments in ACOSF are in some way related to Elain either.

All we need to see is in ACOSF, Elain still does not want Lucien. She clearly wants Azriel and Azriel clearly wants her.

But I thought it was obvious 🤷🏻‍♀️

[murkystarlight]

Maybe the wither sickness from the WitherStorm, isn't just affected by the WitherStorm.

(Yes. I am aware that sentence made... no sense at all)

If you look at the people who get affected during the game, it's either Petra or Gabriel. They are both more experienced than any of the other characters during the game.

And they both talk about wither sickness in that episode when you find Soren's place(I think at the end of episode 2?). And we can know from there that 'normal' wither sickness(from wither skeletons or... yeah. Yk), is a thing. And it's different from the one they got from the WitherStorm. And if they can explain it to us... and can tell the difference between 'normal' wither sickness and the one they are having right now... they must've gotten wither sickness quite a few times. And we can know that because... as Lukas said "I just can't believe Petra comes down here all the time" (I don't remember the exact line- sorry) . She comes down there. A lot. Probably met a lot of wither skeletons. Even if he doesn't say that, she got Ivor a wither skull. She got Lukas a nether star. And she probably had a lot of other different deals. And Gabriel? The (old) order may be frauds, but they do have actual skill. And they probably have been to the nether a lot. The nether isn't that bad... right? And the rest of the order... well, Gabriel's the warrior. So it makes sense if he got most of the wither sickness during old missions. Plus, Ellie, Magnus and Ivor can all attack from a distance if they wanted to. And Soren... he seems more like the strategist. So I think Gabriel would have gotten most of the wither sickness.

So both Petra and Gabriel, probably had a good amount of wither sickness in their life

So... what if, the WitherStorm only affects the people who was already affected by wither sickness before. And that's why Petra and Gabriel got a different reaction from everyone else when they were captured. Even if you get caught in the beam. Or hit by the WitherStorm, you don't get the wither sickness. Maybe... the WitherStorm sensed something familiar and.. put more effect on them? Or the wither sickness has already affected them a few times in the past, and the WitherStorm isn't like a normal creature and it caused modifications(?)

If you choose to save.. let's say Petra, the WitherStorm is only able to affect her so much. So it ended up with giving her that... weird purple mold? (I like to think of it as rotting)

And with that, it means you failed to save Gabriel. Which means he got 'eaten' by the WitherStorm. And in episode 4, we see the inside of the WitherStorm. And we can see that the people who are 'eaten', are stoned. They appear to be like... statues. So being stuck in the WitherStorm for so long, and like... temporarily being stoned(and not having a functioning brain and body?) Got him amnesia.

And ofcourse. The other way around with Petra getting amnesia and Gabriel getting wither sickness

Thank you for reading

[transmascanakin]

For the varmitech bro au

1. Does Martin remember Chris? Does he know how he could've/should've looked like?

2. How brainwashed is Chris? How much does he actually believe?

3. Do the Kratt parents take any role in the au?

4. Can we get more Tortuga crew??? How does Martin deal with missions alone, how do the others react to him?

Ty for the ask anon ! Honestly some of these questions are things i originally wanted to include in the explanation post but ended up deleting because i didnt want to make it too lengthy so Im glad to talk about them now!

1. Martin doesnt remember Chris clearly, he has some blurry memories and flashes but its mostly the feelings he remembers if that makes sense. Like how he was close with Chris and loved him a lot, the feeling of fear everyone felt when Chris went missing and the despair when no one could give them closure, how lonely he felt after.

He doesnt really know what Chris could look like, maybe he likes to imagine, but you cant really get accurate answers like that. Also with cases like his you often see detectives constructing images of what the missing kids could look like now years later and I thought about Chris getting one of these done but he probably would only do that if he sorted through everything else because while Martin thinks his brother is alive, Chris firmly believes that he died a long time ago. He doesnt really think the image would be useful

2. Hes half brainwashed and half doesnt remember a lot of things naturally because of a traumatic reaction. What he has been told was that they have been through a traumatic accident (like a car crash) of some kind that damaged his brain temporarily and thats why he barely remembers anything from his early childhood and has some memories that never actually happened (the memories of the Kratt family) and he believes thats true because frankly, he has no reason not to. Maybe he questioned it when he was younger, but as an adult your childhood memories get really blurry (especially if youve been through something traumatic) so he kind of just accepted the car crash excuse to be true. He suspects there's something hes not being told but he doesn't even think of him being kidnapped as a possibility

3. A little, yes ! The reason Martin wanted his brothers case to be investigated again was actually because of how bad it affected his parents even after 20 years, which is just the sad reality of missing child cases. This part is unfortunately not that well developped yet, but maybe the Kratt brothers father fell really ill and Martin was worried hed have to pass away without knowing what happened to Chris, or maybe they got divorced after not being able to move on from the incident evem after all that time, ill have to think about it but whatever happened motivated Marin to contact detective Chris.

Either way I do have 2 scenes in my head that include atleast one of them ! The first one is where Chris and Martin go back to Martins childhood home to search the area again, and they briefly talk to mama Kratt who still lives here, and she takes one look at Chris with a mothers eye and thinks "wow he looks exactly like Chris" and although she doesnt believe its actually him she does think its some sign from the universe or idk something sentimental !! I just rhink itd be sweet of her. I also think itd be interesting from the pov of Chris because this is a maternal figure who treats him really nice and he just cant help but notice how different his mom is from Martins yk sad feelings...

Also Chris gets to reunite with his parents after everything goes down :)

4. Hell Yeah!!

Martins missions here are a bit more professional as he doesnt really have anyone to goof around with but he still has fun because he gets to gush about animals to the team.!! (He definitely wishes he had someone with him out in the field) Also i guess the villains are also interesting here because dealing with them alone causes confrontations to drag out, and they also become harder and more serious, especially with Zach as he got a big advantage with 'the crawler'. Aviva does jump in to help a lot but shes a bit limited because at this point she hasnt finished making her own cps yet (this might become relevant later i havent decided yet.)

In the last part I assume you were asking about how they feel about Chris, and they do meet a lot while Martin and Chris are working on the investigation, and Koki actually helps them a lot with her computer skills. The crew also grows pretty close to Chris, i mean he kinda just clicks with them, and he latches onto them a lot as he hasnt really had proper friends before. Like ever. Basically theyre just found family i love them. !!!

Sorry for making this so long haha I just love talking about this au... I hope these answers satisfied!

[changbinsboobs]

I only had like 3 dreams of idols so its cool if someone else gets to have further dreams of them and often I wonder if it reflect the idols day to day emotions / situations or if they just trying to reach out to someone?

do u think we have to do tarot on idols to gain that connection to them in order to dream of them more frequently? not that id care or not just would be cool or different at the very least. my dream was specially abt chan and felix it was like in another world / realm and they had some type of super power or like they saw themselves as being heros. i dont know if that reflected in how they view themselves wanting to protect their fans but i dont overwatch them and i dont even think abt the members that much? skz are more like a casual interest i have once in awhile

can u then do a reading on what skz dream about themselves? i dont think anyones asked that to a tarot reader before but they too must have some crazy dreams

Finally i got to answer this one, it took a while im sry😅

So i don't think ones dreams about idols affect them in any way except if you habe a significant connection to them, which i doubt. Like i think if for examples han's mom were to often have vivid dreams about him, it would really be connected to him in some way, but even then, not in the way where he feels it, but rather his moms dreams for example tell her how her son is doing etc. yk

And i also don't think doing tarot has a significant role in how often you dream of people/ idols and who you dream about. I do readings on idols every day for idk like a month already - and i haven't had a single dream with anyone during that time. In fact i haven't had dreams with them for a very long while.

And so here is the long awaited reading for their dreams:) i used the 3rd Eye Tarot (tbh i think i should stop announcing it in every reading, ya'll already know i use it for all my readings, except spicy ones.

*Please take the reading with a grain of salt, its for entertainment purposes only!

Enjoy💗

What do Skz dream about? (when they sleep)

Chan - Ace of Wands, 2 of Wands

For him im seeing he just dreams about his goals and him getting there. I think his subconscious is so preoccupied with proving himself constantly that his subconscious mind projects it into his dreams. Or he gets pulled into parallel realities and experiences another chan's waking life in just working, planing and running towards his goals.

Lee Know - The World, 3 of Cups, Knight of Swords

Not surprised with his reading I've already mentioned that i've been seeing him the most in dreams in the past and that he seemed very aware and like ugh idk like real? Lucid? Idk how to describe it just in a few words but thats the same if been getting from the cards. He seems very active in his dreams. Very aware while dreaming. I believe he travels different universes and worlds, different domains. I think he likes to explore the astral realm and would say has really a gift for that! I think he also has great control over that dimension and can at will take or remove himself to/from different dreams and spaces. And i think he has met lots of people, entities, energies etc along the way and would say has made quite some friends.

Changbin - The Sun, Death, Queen of Cups, 2 of Pentacles

Why do i even bother to lay cards for him at this point?🥲 its almost the same each reading.🫠 So in his dreams he is unaware i would say - like he doesnt really remember what he dreamt about when he wakes up, or he can just remember a vague theme or feeling, or some incoherent scenes and all of that doesn't make sense to him, but it also does, yk that feeling. I think he has that. And i think the reason for that is cuz his higher self takes over and works hard in his dreams to pick his subconscious minds, to heal him, to implement seeds and truths, sometimes through dreams (when he has ones he remembers and or understands). I also think that if he has a dream he remembers theres always a message in there for him. He receives guidance through his dreams. And what all that hustling is about? U guessed it😂 - to find his wife👰🏻‍♀️🤰🏻 i think his higher self might be "searching" for her and working behind the scenes to bring them two together.

Hyunjin - The Empress, King of Cups

His dreams are very creative usually. And are more a fruit of his own subconscious mind, rather than astral travel etc. Just like Chan. I think he has lots of overflowing creativity he just can't pour all out in one day, so it gets used up in his dreams at the end of the day to like - bring balance in his being. I think he has wild and crazy and very rich and interesting dreams. I would love to take a peak.🥰 And i think he actually can remember lots of them with lots of detail as well. If you were to ask him about it he would wipe out a journal and start reading them to you like a short-story. Oh yeah and i think he might journal his dreams from time to time. Maybe not everything, but what he deems as important whenever he remembers. He thinks there could be lots of wisdom in them and if he ever gets in a rut or gets bored he wipes that journal out again and reads it to get some inspiration and ideas back. Thats what im getting for him.

Han - 9 of Cups, The Magician

I can't quite pick up if his dreams are more astral or subconscious but i definitely pick up on peace and release and fun and excitement. I would say it could be a mix of both. Like some dreams he has are subconscious and he releases lots of build up stress, emotions etc from them. Others are astral and he goes out (nit too far out tho) and just enjoys the funs an astral body and a world not bound by the laws of physics offers. I think he does fun stuff like learning how to fly. Going on a quest to find interesting animals (that don't exist on earth), visiting a neighbor galaxy/planet/universe whatever, talking with the local entities/spirits and whatever😂 and just overall having fun. Yk whats very fitting for him - i actually see him as a ghibli character having a whimsical adventure whenever he goes to sleep☺️love that for him. Just overall very lighthearted fun and pleasant energy. I think he loves sleeping😂 even if he can't remember when he wakes up, his brain does and his body does as well. Oh also i think he might be developing some skills in his dreams that he is using in the real world. Or like finding knowledge within his dreams that he can use in the real world to further improve his skills.

Felix - The Star, Knight of Cups

Also very nice energy! I think he dreams quite a lot about his crushes when he's having subconscious dreams. On the other side when his dreams are aware its not him but rather his higher self thats operating in that realm. I can't quite pick out what he does for sure but i think it has to do with some sort of socializing. For example going to other galaxies etc to visit friends from past lives or beyond life on earth or whatever. I think he also enjoys meeting new "people". Overall very cute, well balanced energy.

Seungmin - The Fool

He just rests😂 thats it. Thats the reading! If he dreams, its "meaningless" processing of the day and like anything thats not needed gets cleaned out and he's just getting a restart and rest for the new day.

I.N - Knight of Wands

I think his dreams are quite action packed. I think he's constantly on an adventure and is dreaming very much! Like dreaming every night, and every night being jam packed, yk those dreams where you sleep for 8h, but you've spent 2 months in your dream. I think he has those kind of dreams. Very realistic, very heartrace-inducing(?). I think he also remembers them pretty well, at least while he's freshly awakened. Idk about remembering them later on. Maybe not if he didn't care about the dream, but also maybe yes if he thought that dream was special or interesting or something grabbed his attention.

[kawaii-butt-crust-core]

Random HB headcanons / thoughts I guess

(tw for some sexual mentions and cursing )

Mammon fucking HATES jingle bell rock

Asmodeus sending fizz "send this to someone you love!" Type of videos and fizz sends shit like this

Just the thought that asmodeus ( the embodiment of lust ) believes love is not love without consent is honestly a great detail

Also thinking about how fizzarolli has eyebags

Millie can use a bow and arrowwwww

I think the human versions of blitzø and his family are indigenous, idk the nose and the skin tone, it might be a long shot but I like the idea yk

Also love seeing indigenous characters

Stolas loving outer space that's canon right

Imagine him as a kid just reading a shit ton of books about space and in any occurrence it's brought up now you know how the universe is going to end

Blitzø: I just need space-

Stolas: SPACE???????

I think after Octavia gets out of her super angsty teenager phase ( do not come after me I know it's more than an angsty "mom leave me alone I wanna be famous" thing, I'm kidding ) she would really like indie music

Like indie rock if that makes any sense

" with ♥️ from Ozzie " ON EVERYTHING OZ GIVES FIZZ URGAJF

I'm sorry but there neeeeeddsss to be more Millie appreciation

I kinda wish there was an episode that centers around her yk ?

Do you think imps nipples are white too like scars and freckles or am I weird

Ozzie posting on everything " YES THE RUMORS ARE TRUE THIS IS MY FUCKING SOULMATE" because for some reason there was a lot of controversy and debate if it was real or not

Then next to it it's a picture of him and fizz

People were PISSED

I thought mamom was played by bluey's dad bandit if I'm being completely honest I'm so sorry

Millie is spider man moxxie is hello kitty

Stella likes soup. What is she eating now? Oh some fucking soup. What's wrong with her icecub- SHE FROZE THE SOUP TO MAKE ICE CUBES-

Loona has a very bad picking at her skin habit, not really with her face but with her legs and arms ( human form obviously )

I LOVE HOW MUCH BLITZØ LOVES LOONA IM SORRYYYY

Fizz posting " FUCK ALL OF YOU" on all of his socials , deleting everything ( especially the sexually explicit things )

I think being a part of the circus is equivalent to trailer trash in hell

I mean look at em

I love it

Human form Ozzie would have THE MOST luscious hair ever

This image just says so much about them as a pair it kills me

The way the animators just go above and beyond is just amazing to me

How did fizzarolli get the 2 minutes notice thing planned so quickly...........

" IM A KLOWN BITCH🤪 IM A KLOWN BITCH🤪🤞🏼"

Fizz over sharing as a teenager ( not projecting )

THAT ONE SCENW QITH STOLAS MOVING STELLAS HAND LITERALLY MADE MY FUCKING JAW DROP HOLY SHIT

HES LITERALLY TAKING BACK HIS LIFE

fizz really thought in "oops!" That he wasn't gonna make it out of the fire again

Like bro just put his knees to his chest and CRIED

IDK RHATS SK SAD TO MEEEE

Speaking of fizz how did that mark in the next episode get there? What was that? Idk if it was maybe a bruise from.. something.. I don't wanna say it was from mamon because that would defeat the purpose of his character being EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE and that emotional abuse is still abuse, but idk some people said it might be because of him?

Can you tell I'm obsessed with fizzarolli

The sexual harassment rep.... People who have experienced sh usually think "it's not as bad as *other s3xual trauma* so I'm just being dramatic" ( I say this from experience ) but it ABSOLUTELY IS AND SHOULD BE RECOGNIZED. It's still something you're not comfortable with. Fizz brushing it off as "oh well they're just fans who express their love differently!" Should not have been taught to him.

I'm not slightly projecting again. Nuh uh

Ozzie can play saxophone. He just gives me the vibe.

MILLIE CANNOTTTT KEEP A PLANT ALIVE FOR SHIT BRO

MOXXIE?? UH MAYBE A MONTH. 2 MAX. MILLIE? ITS DEAD WITHIN A DAY.

Loona: I AM NOT PUTTING THAT ON

blitzø: JUST ONE FUCKING FAMILY PICTURE LOONA-

Beezlebubs design just screams if kesha. Even if they didn't mean to.

Millie getting stuck in trees as a kid and being too scared to get down

Was Barbies real name barbie or is that a nickname? Or was it for the sake of the circus ( like blitzøs name being .. well blitzø )

Millie name is short for Amelia maybe? People used to call her Lia but she hated it so much she started writing her nickname Millie on everything.

People saying they hated / thought the stolas human design could've been better can go FUCK themselves HONESTLY

Blitzø and fizzs as teenagers going to their town center and being like "?????? Why is everything so FANCY it's AMAZING"

Octavia can't handle spicy things for SHIT

Look at their British asses

They cough at smelling PEPPER

Stolas just randomly texting Octavia "you're so beautiful darling! Have a nice day <3 -your dad" or "don't forget to eat! -your dad" ( he texts like that IDC )

FUCK STELLA ME AND MY HOES HATE THAT BITCH

Octavia writes poetry! It's actually really good

Okay so I have this headcanon that in the HELLUVA BOSS universe that songs like contoursionist, toxic ( by ashnikko ), tunnel vision and agorah hills, NYMPHOLOGY, and he has this "one last show" thing where he preforms these songs and HE IS SCREAMING SOME OF HIS OWN SONGS

But that would also defeat his character development so I'll just imagine him singing this songs in the car or smth

Mamon having to do some toxic gossip train shit

I WANMA SAY OZZIE HAS TWO OLDER SISTERS BUT IDK IF THAT WOULD WORKKKKK

Millie kills the spider.

I think that may be all okay byeeee

[mcl38]

still in utter bafflement that people thought as piasco was unfolding that oscar’s decision to go mclaren, a team that was on the upward trajectory ever since 2018, over renault works team, a known disaster class since pre-historic times, was a dumb move. wym?? people at that time did not have all the info about how alpine absolutely fumbled 2 contracts, on top of otmar controlling the narrative, throwing around words like “loyalty”, it would have still been a better decision, because it gave oscar the opportunity to prove himself against a highly rated driver like lando, instead of pierre whose record is not perfect. hell, had everything that alpine lied about around oscar was correct, meaning that say he was ghosting them after promising to drive, it still was the correct decision 😭

hmm. im not actually sure if i agree w you, because i don't think the difference between renault and mclaren was actually that cut and dry. when daniel moved from renault to mclaren in 2020 ppl called it a sideways move, and for good reason. since id say 2019 at least, mclaren and renault had been in the upper midfield and in direct competition with each other. 2022, the year of the piasco, alpine beat mclaren in the wcc (mostly bc of daniel shitting the absolute bed, but still). the length of time since theyve been successful was kind of equivalent (renault's last wdc is 2006, mclaren's is 2008), and arguably renault hadnt recently had a period of such despairing backmarker incompetence as mclaren had circa 2017 (they're having it now tho, lol. oops). so to anyone looking alpine seemed like a reliable midfielder which had been floating around 5th place in the wcc since like 2017, while mclaren had had the epic highs and lows (of high school football) and was now looking as if it had clearly gotten the new regs all wrong.

THAT SAID. alpine is run by french people. so, you know, that's an important factor to consider

at the time, before learning abt the absolute legal / bureocratic incompetence that drove oscar away, i still objectively thought oscar had made a good choice – but thats bc im a big ol mclarenhead and also biased against alpine. i didn't trust the management of otmar szafnauer or the rest of alpine's higher-ups (rightfully so lol), and i knew enough about the things mclaren were saying to believe that we'd have a change in fortune long-term after the wind tunnel was finished. still like, when 2023 came along and mclaren were clearly backmarkers if not the slowest car on the grid, in retrospect i understand the ppl who made fun of oscar for turning down alpine's offer (and in such a dramatic fashion too, lol). im obviously laughing in all of their faces currently, but yk, i get it ig

also re: proving himself against lando, i think ur accidentally forgetting which frenchie was actually in the other alpine seat LMAO he wouldve gone against ocon, not gasly (i shudder to think of the gasly-to-mclaren alternate universe dear god). i rate ocon i think he's an alright driver but ig my question is more like, why would it be in the interest of a rookie to go against what couldve been a teammate-killer*? like look at alex - his reputation was hugely damaged when he went against max, then his stock HUGELY boosted when he was paired up with latifi and sargeant. north american loserboy pay drivers are necessary to the economy of the f1 paddock bc they make everyone going against them look sooooo good lmao. if anything oscar's reputation wouldve probably benefited more from going up against a race winner like ocon (or gasly if ur suggesting mclaren wouldve tried to get ocon instead, which wouldve been difficult but marginally more rewarding for them) (and less of a nightmare for me) who he couldve possibly actually convincingly beat.

all that considered like. fundamentally oscar DID make the right choice. and not just bc mclaren is a frontrunner big 3 now and alpine has barely gotten any points this year, bc f1 is a game of chance and u never know where any team will actually end up in next year's order. so even ignoring that, oscar made the right choice bc of what he himself has said time and time again - he enjoys and appreciates being wanted. alpine kept him in the attic like that dusty broken air mattress u only bring out when u've got one too many guests for the sleepover. meanwhile, mclaren broke daniel's contract and paid like 20mil partly just so they could secure oscar's seat before anyone else snatched him up. oscar had literally already signed the mcl contract before fernando announced his shock departure. he did not believe his alpine seat was secured or even available at all - there were talks of loaning him to williams or whatever and like out of everyone THATS a team that cant escape its reputation for perpetual floppage lmao. so fundamentally mclaren was in the right to try to secure his contract and oscar was in the right for trying to get out of being the understudy of an old man who doesnt ever seem to want to stop driving.

*i dont actually think lando is a teammate killer, even if he's obviously performing substantially better than oscar up until this point. i think hes unfortunately just a ricciardo-killer lol

[aaaaaaaaaaaa-hey-its-jude-or-bee]

EYYYYY what's up I'm back with some ideaszzswkrnfkehfn classes are OVER!!!

again not a request :-)

okok but harvey picnic date

HARVEY PICNIC DATE!!!!!2!_+#?_!!!

raging rn because hARVEY MAKING SOME CUTE LITTLE OCTO SHAPED SAUSAGES yk the ones right????, LWIKEHTKEEUEUUERRTHH *explodes*

mmmmmmm magic,,,, what if magical!farmer x rasmodius mmmmmm? Them trading recipes for potions like invisibility or trading magic spectres/staffs? Totally can see magical!farmer choosing hilltop side farm/wilderness farm for the loot ngl

djtkrhenr I'm on the angelic dragon hybrid again-

ok but farmer hiding his hybrid traits until a (dilf) bachelor and/or elliot accidentally walks in on him masking his horns and farmer's just like : 😦

AND THEN FARMER KICKS THEM OUT

broski has no idea what to do and just shoos them away like

“uhh, can you leave?” AKSNBFDBFNS

ooOOOOO ok I've said this before but farmer who crochets stuffed animals x morris

Can definitely see farmer teaching morris how to and being extra nice when his bee (hah) doesn't turn out quite right LMAO

farmer then tells him that crochet can't be machine done, explains why, and then morris suddenly falling in love with the hobby (and the verY attractive farmer too)

omg siren!farmer (who's rich) x pierre.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- 🫚anon

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

All of them are SO GOOD OMH!!!

Harvey making cute lil foods omg wjsjsjsjs he will never make cute pancakes ☹️ he hates pancakes .... I'm still super upset about it when I bring it up m... Grrrr.mmgng

What the fuck Morris and his bee... BEE... Morris and crochet bees and stuff.. omgg,,, I have like the entire rainbow colors for each bee that's been crocheted, each color is a bee. He would love it.

I imagine them to the angelic dragon just

*waiting for them to shut the door, staring at each other. Intensely. And they're not leaving or shutting the door out of shock*

"...GET THE FUCK OUT—"

"*SCREAMS AND SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT*"

I imagine the siren male!farmer and Pierre just yayayaya!! but the siren m!farmer is like possessive about Pierre because he's a siren!! Of course he would be!! He treasures the things he loves dearly!! Meaning he treasures Pierre because he's his of course!! I think siren male!farmer would just be all over Pierre when they're at home and then stands close and by Pierre whenever he would get the chance when he's not busy, even biting him to put marks on what's his and just keeping his hands all over Pierre while he works when it's the siren male!farmers day off,,,,,

But the Magic trading is just sonaiahwisj

but like imagine fallen angel male!farmer... Hiding his background and lying, he never has any hints of lies within his words or tone, even if someone uses magic to see if he's lying it never shows, him saying he used to work at Joja but he really didn't work there and never has, he sees people working there and uses what he knows to make it fully believable that he worked there, he was working for the heavens above and then something happened to make him lose his own job from the gates of the heaven above, and he becomes a fallen angel, he is just purely angelic even if he is a fallen angel as he knows more than he seems because he's been here for over who knows how long, how many years, we will never know but he's been working up there for so long, so he's a handsome lad, never seems to be getting older as he seems more younger, rasmodius senses like there is something about you but he can never really tell even if he uses everything he knows to try and figure out what's up with you and he never gets a single thing or information about you at all but you know who he is, you know him and all of the other magical people he has came in contact with and knows, you know a lot of people, the information dug deep into your mind as sandy and lance show up once in a while to pelican town, Krobus acts much differently from Gil and Marlon to you, he senses you're more powerful and magical than you seem, you aren't just some wee lad Marlon and the wizard say you are, he knows you're older than people think you are, unlike the wizard, Sandy and Lance and even emily, who try to use their magic to see who you are or try and get information about you, he knows what you are, he feels it, he senses it, he knows you. And you know him. Yet, you two seem to have an unspoken agreement that none of you will ever say a word about who you are, even when you trade magic and knowledge to the wizard he knows there's something about you the more you give him information about some magic he wants to learn, you're young aren't you?? Like one of those young adults in pelican town, but. It's clear you aren't just a young adult, you can't be. You can act like one sometimes but he watches from afar and sees how you act, no young new wizard ever does or knows what you do, when you first visit Mr.Qi, he knew who you were, of course, he's been watching you, and you know what kind of magic and powers he possesses, you two talk often and you visit him from time to time, talking about what it was like, and what's been going on, still the others, cannot seem to figure you out. You remain a mystery to everyone, except from Mr.Qi and Krobus.

[bunicate]

Hihi! I hope you are doing well!!

These days I have been seeing people going on a witch hunt on creators like you, honestly I really hate it because it really makes the creators of dark content shy away from sharing their work. Im pretty sure dark content creators don’t mix real life with fiction 🥲

But anyways I really love your works and I hope people would start reading the TW, scroll pass/block rather than reading the fan FICTION that has stated the contents in it, then start getting grossed out as if they didnt know what they were getting into 💀 (people like them can stay away from GOT or any series aim for adults)

I know people’s views and kinks can be different but the kink shaming on this platform has been unbearable these days.

Hopefully you don’t get bothered from things like this! I really don’t wish to see dark content creators to vanish from this platform. Please keep doing what you do!

Sorry for the messy anon ramblings hehe but stay cute! (I literally wrote this before sleeping so im sorry if its weird LOL)

awhhh thank u for the encouraging words ! ! I dnt plan on letting anything like that bother or dissuade me from doing wht I want 2 do, so no worries my love. before i had dis blog i thought soooo long abt if I should write dc or not nd i jus decided I rlly didn’t care :<

I do realize tht there seems to be an influx of like ppl calling out dc creators , nd honestly if it’s not bad to say . . considering tht a lot of them these days lack media literacy nd nuance, i can see where they r coming from. they believe dat media/art is a sign of endorsement. . nd it worsens bcuz smut is gratifying . I genuinely do understand the critiques, nd I think they mean well but that’s part of the reason why I’ll like . . zzz nvr rlly care abt what they have to say ? Ik all these things already so idc for some stranger 2 tell me it’s wrong yk ??? BCUZ IK. thts why its abt a fictional man 🌷

[kiawren]

2, 4, 16 and 19 for your ask game ^____^ curious for your beloved!!!!

HI GUYSS THX FOR ASKING... HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY OR NIGHT...

Ask game thing :3

2) what's their usual shower temperature. how long do they take to shower

I'm kinda undecided between warm or cold (but not the middle.) kia/we likes heat and (even though he already runs hot) would love to feel warmer I think it makes him feel nice, even on a hot day I think he'd still like it. Yk long time ago I saw someone say a warm shower feels like a hug I think he'd think of it somewhat that way too, that it's quite comforting. On the contrary he does not get cold easily so he'd use cold water to freshen up and feel energised... Maybe after training he'd use cold and showering after regular activities he'd use warm... but one things for sure he'd prefer those rather than just the normal temp in the middle becuz he's unconventional like that lol

As for me I mostly bathe towards the warm side, sometimes at the last 20 sec I change to cold

4) what's their fav ice cream flavour. cone or cup

His fav ice cream would be the one his family's farm makes :333 it's like a milky classic flavour. But I think he'd like flavours like raspberry too. And cone :D

For me: mango, tea flavours (I like to try the store specialties, they'll have stuff like chrysanthemum tea oolong tea idk), cone

7) how easy is it for them to get sick

For both of us, not easy! Kia/we is very strong and eats plentifully and healthily and works out and has healthy routines. For me I'm just built different even though my sleep is so fucked or it's the vitamin gummies my mom gets for us 💀

9) how good are they at origami

both not very good, but I'm sliightly better. I think kia/we does better with crafts that aren't too intricate, he likes to do things boldly (like his dances). I think he's a very intuitive person too and might not follow instructions well. But he knows the more simple kinds, and I think he'd remember what he learns for a long time, even if it takes him a while to first get the hang of it. He doesn't think of doing origami for me at first but I did it for him (learnt those flowers and butterflies from online tutorials lolll), he was so touched when he received them and tried to make his own, it takes him a while.... Mimo (his little sister) might end up making for him😭

16) how would they spend their airplane flights

Gahahahagga I don't believe any of you guys took notice but in one of my tags some time back on a post like "what's a uncommon fact abt your f/o" I wrote that kia/we canonically feels uncomfy from airplane flights. even though he's been flying on chari/zard since like 5 years old with his grandpa and now he does it every day. I think it's becuz he does not trust that technology that much😭 like I totally get it becuz if you didn't research the physics you'd also question how planes fly😭 soph can explain to him and he'd feel a bit at ease but still rather uneasy.

If I'm beside him it'll definitely distract him. But also it's not like peeing his pants shaking his boots it's just. Slight discomfort. So he's still relatively ok but i don't think he can relax until he falls asleep or forgets he's on a plane. I think he'd try to look at the view outside and imagine he's on chari/zard so he feels safer.

Yeah he'd probbaly spend the flight reading the emergency procedures more than once over. If I'm next to him we listen to music together... If he's with his sister they can play together or he watches shows with her I think sitting next to a friend/family would help him tons 😭😭

As for me I don't feel nervous, I listen to downloaded music or shows or sleep or look out window (I love window seat!)

19) how good are they at taking care of plants

Kia/we is decent at it but doesn't prefer to, i kinda. Just straight up suck 😭. I think kia/we works better with animals since he takes care of his farm's poke/mon a lot and is very in touch with their needs. Of course he'd try to take systematic approaches for the plant like air food water humidity but it won't be the most excellent taking care of, the values might be off.

In one episode where they had to swap their poke/mon with a friend, he got la/na's po/pplio wow censoring is so annoying LOL anyway. And it was a water type so he was like Uhhrrrmmm... . He didn't know what to let it do while he did the chores. Hes very in touch with fire poke/mon becuz they share the same energeticness so other types he'd need some getting used to that's why I think with plants he also wouldn't really. Get in touch with it but he always tries his best to take care of others and is attentive to their needs but taking care of a plant is hard.

Me I killed a succulent don't even ask 💀 that was years ago so I could try again but I rather... Not💀

[ohnococo]

Hii!! I'm back with my Sukuna scenarioss🐡💗

Okay so like, yk how Sukuna is always being portrayed as this womaniser with like a the biggest harem ever on fanfics? (Tf btw) I personally believe that while yes he finds amusement in lively women, it's mainly because they'll be more entertaining to defeat or break in the perspective of a heartless mass murderer like him.

Therefore, I present to you the idea of Virgin!Tf! Sukuna (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)💗 Hear me out- in a more canon stand point, he's def too busy wrecking havoc everywhere to sleep around, much less build a harem of all things. Although that trope def has a special place in my heart, I've literally never seen a Virgin!Tf!Sukuna🥺 Also also, just look at his reaction when a beautiful woman like Yoruzu hugged him, he was so unbothered like???😭😭😭 And ngl, I don't think he'd be interested in partaking in any sexual activities during his reign way back in the Heian era either cuz he most def killing those who even dares to touch him (cough- Yoruzu-). Although experienced Suku is def still hot😳

Also, this pic that I've seen circulating around my feed def fed into this little scenario of mine😭https://www.tumlook.com/ystrike1/post/738893419527684096

LIKE DEAR GOODNESS I'LL GIVE ANYTHING TO WITNESS TF!SUKUNA LIKE THAT🥺💗

P.S. I would like to add that your bee profile pic is an absolute masterpiece💗

P.S. #2 I'M SO SORRY FOR THIS LONG AHH MESSAGE, I GOT TOO CARRIED AWAY😭

- puffypuff🐡

OKAY NOW LISTENNNN LIL PUFFNSTUFF I feel ya on the breaking lively women like man was not moved by some tiddies swingin (and tbh like I do hc heian era tf sukuna as straight forcing himself on someone for the malice of it) BUT VIRGIN SUKU????

Never seen it never considered but oooooh boy 🥵

Like he’s just not bothered about sex, it’s a waste of time, it’s something he’s beyond because how could it compare to the thrill of everything else he’s doing? Women begging to be spared, offering their bodies in exchange for their lives, why should that move him? Because that’s all it’s even been presented as to him.

But when he finally DOES partake?? Out of his mind, incoherent, feral. Whoever takes that dick (or those dicks depending on how you hc tf sukuna) better be built different because he’s fuckin for HOURSSSS til he’s lying there, eyes rolling, hips barely moving, rutting into you for one more, just one more, make it happen for him.

Pussy drunk previously-a-virgin sukuna making my brain go brrrrr

(And thank you bb the bee was a lil dapper fella I had to have him)

[onceler-archives]

Hi, i feel like ranting about my hyperfixation on this side blog. You'll see why, maybe, but yk. It will be below the read more in case people dont want to see anything fnaf related on their dash

Ok, so you know how a lot of people will go. "This will be like the onceler fandom again, oh no," to like any character that gets even a smidge popular.

Well I believe what makes the onceler fandom the onceler fandom is these principles:

-creating content of the same character over and over and possibly making different versions of them in aus

- being kind to others and having a strong sense of community (bonus points if many know each other)

- and ofc a strong love of the lorax movie, but that can be replaced with any fandom.

Now, what makes this rant hyperfixation/fnaf related is that I believe a character from fnaf has reached onceler fandom status. The Daycare Attendant. (Aka Sun and Moon)

This character has been drawing over and over in different aus, and different ways over the past 2 years and a half. Over this time I've noticed many of the people following the same trends that the Onceler fandom took. There are askblogs, aus so cit off from the source material that rhey "deFnafized" or whatever their version of deoncelerization would be.

These creators are so kind to each other and inclusive to everyone. They even have fandom wide events too.

Anyway, that's all i really wanted to ramble about bc i just realized how long the Daycare Attendent Fandom has been up and running so strongly as well as more people getting frustrated when some use the whole "they are becoming the onceler fandom" phrase without said character getting like that.

[woodsteingirl]

I AM ASKING ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT SHAKESPEARES JULIUS CEASER.

HIIII omg. where do i even start… i’ll try and go character by character/theme by theme. ill also try and start small and build to bigger ideas if that makes sense. ALSO credit to george wilson knight who has been dead for many many years for putting most of these ideas into my head.

FIRSTLY in one of thee first few scenes (act 1 scene 2 iirc) where brutus and cassius are discussing their feelings about caesar (and also. perhaps their feelings for one another. “nor construe any further my neglect that poor brutus with himself at war forgets the shows of love to other men et cetera et cetera...) cassius says “the fault, dear brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” (YES the john green novel comes from That.) and what makes that so interesting and so insane crazy is that caesar himself is compared to a star like. its a reoccurring motif! the fault is not in caesar its in them... and it sort of is! sometimes it is! like the fault of yk. ruining the republic is obviously in caesar, but the actual like final fall of it is kind of in their hands and they do fuck it up a little bit!!

um now i want to talk about mimesis which is a huge concept throughout the whole thing but for the purposes of this i just want to talk about cassius + how people say he was jealous of caesar (and his position of power) and how stupid that take is. like the reason is because cassius does fundamentally believe caesar is a tyrant and he does want the republic back, his weird weird thing with caesar as a rival is like a secondary thing. or it becomes one i dont know. but the thing is they want the same thing (for rome to be  under just rule) they just obviously have different ways of thinking about that. then the second you put brutus in the mix, either as cassius’s mimetic rival or as like. some sort of object between cassius and caesar it gets even weirder god bless. i could elaborate on this specific point a lot i think but this is long already... hmu if you do want to here abt it though...

oh now its time to talk about the role of The Lover... throughout the whole play there are like two categories you can be in. you can be A Lover, cassius + antony, who are ruled by emotion and are quick tempered and hold personal ideals over anything, OR you can be a stoic (term here used loosely by the way, more in the modern sense than the philosophical.) which it is harder to find a specific example of and you will see in a minute why, but they hold moral value over emotion, are critical of things like omens and portents, etc. they dont have that emotional volatility like The Lovers do. Caesar falls into both of these, like he has a sort of spirit vs body thing happening. he is the political body and also his own spirit (quite literally when it comes to him appearing as a ghost in the latter half of the play). ANYWAYS so yk who else has duality. brutus. he wants to be a stoic so bad but he literally cant he Loves Too Much. you see this in his quarrel with cassius and in his reaction to portia’s death. like he is feeling soo much but he plays it off as worry about money or just doesnt talk about it at all. he is literally torn between love and logic, head and heart...his position as clinging onto stoic ideals DIRECTLY contrasts cassius and how he is soooo ruled by love. that is his guiding principle its his motivation he wants to be loved so fucking badly. and he wants it from brutus which was perhaps a bit of philosophical oversight on his part, as we know brutus is. repressed in some sense of the word. whatever anyways.

brutus’s position as between a good lover like antony is to caesar, or a good conspirator like cassius, literally puts him in that dualistic position again. you see his general humanity win out when he tells them not to kill antony, and that love ruling guess what. it fucking ruins the whole thing. without brutus the conspiracy had a fighting chance, but he is too emotional to be logical and too logical to be emotional... NOT to pin the blame on him entirely either, like if cassius wasnt so desperate to be loved that it made him look stupid, he would not have let brutus make that final decision. he KNOWS brutus has significantly less military experience but he still lets him be in charge of stuff because he loves him soo much ohh my god. they are still fighting by like act 4 scene 2 which is thee lovers spat. like that also gives light to the fact that cassius is so stupid in love with brutus (brutus hath rived my heart, you love me not, I cannot drink too much of Brutus' love, et cetera) and also brutus’s weird in between existance... its soooo much.....

i dont know what even to say about the end of it by the way i try desperately not to think about it because it makes me so sad, but they are so in love with each other even in their dyings and it is. eek. ANYWAYS thats my bit. i will expand on this if you send me a dm/another ask by the way. i could talk about it for hours genuinely.

[retrocitizen]

Hey loves! Since its half way through suicide awareness/ prevention month, I thought I would go over and share my experiences. Both past and present.

____________

To start it off, Hello! My name is Ava but you can call me retro! My pronouns are Any and I am a bisexual teen. I recently got diagnosed with:

• Extreme Depression

• Autism

• Extreme Anxiety

• Insomnia

• ADHD

These where all diagnosed within the last 1 to 4 years. My journey throughout discovering these things was had and super stressful. So, let's start at where it all began.

ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION (!TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND ABUSE AND AN ED!):

I had been suffering with Anxiety and depression ever since I could talk (probably an overstatement, but I think you get it).

Back when I was eight (8), my parents broke up, then my dad tried to commit suicide by overdosing. He survived and lucky for me, he is doing much better today. This when I believe my Anxiety and depression really came out. Got worse, so much worse. I would start my self harm at this age.

When I was 9 soon to be 10, I tried to commit suicide myself as I felt that i couldn't take it anymore, that I was an issue, someone just in the way, and I also had way to much pressure on my back.

At that age, my mother was starting to be verbally abusive and started drugs and started dating non-stop until she settled for an abusive boyfriend. The two couldn't look after us kids so I had to. I was feeding them, washing them, looking after them. My little brother use to call me mum because he didn't know any better. I was 9, looking after myself and 3 other siblings (2 of which were very very young). I had to mature very quickly just so I could look after my siblings.

As I was about to commit, my brother bust through the door and froze. He just stared at me and I stared at him. He ran out crying calling my mum for help. This lady who was living woth us at the time was the one who came in and help, but she made it all about herself making me feel worse. My mother and the lady didn't do anything about it so I was just there, with a light cut from what I was trying to do to commit.

Mums abusive boyfriend eventually scared my youngest brother si bad that he no longer used the toilet without freaking out (he is now 8 and still freaks out because of the truma the boyfriend caused). He also eventually started abusing mum and my other brother. They broke up and then mum found out she was pregnant so yeah. She kept it now the baby is 4 and is actually really nice other then the anger issues.

Since then, I have tried committing 7 different other times, and have written about 38 suicide notes. I have also stared an ED (eating disorder). I have tried to get better, but I relapse so much that sometimes I feel like it's better to just give up. I am a current out patient for the hospital and I go there every weekend and sometimes on school days. I see 2 therapists (one from the hospital, the other one just a random one for queer teens like me) and a few other people. I take meds now too so yeah.

Because of my Anxiety, I cannot sleepover anywhere, be away from home for long, or drive even tho I legally can. I have extreme panic and anxiety attacks everyday because of it aswell.

I would like to point out that my dad is the one who got me help and not my mum.

AUTISM AND ADHD:

Yes, I have both. Its a bit hard but I manage. I dont really wanna go into detail on how these make me act. But I will say how they effect my life.

So, in my friend group, I get treated like a baby because of it. At home, my mum doesn't care for it and my dad is good with it (as he has it too). I can only drink out of mugs or small plastic water bottles (yk those ones you can get in like a pack of 24? Those.) This makes it hard, especially if im on holiday or somewhere and there is none of that option, because then I can't drink or else I start swimming badly to the point where it hurts. I also need to have a spot on the couch or else I can't sit. Like at both mum and dads, I have a certain spot on their couches where no one else can sit. My dad has made that a rule at his house, and my mum doesn't respect it. I find it hard to learn certain things, and I get no help from the school.

INSOMNIA:

Um, yeah. I have insomnia. This makes it really hard for me to operate and do a lot of stuff. (I think that's really where I need to leave it?)

______________

I take meds for all these things (that require meds) and i think I am getting better. Slowly. Some things that help me deal with these are: my dad, music, (some of) my friends, my cousin, long night drives, rain, reading, night walks, and finally my service cat Sooty (she is a legal service animal).

I think I should also add that:

I currently do 50/50 with my mum and dad after begging my mum to make it that. It use to me 70/30 with my mum having me most of the time. Also my mum has slightly improved but she is still a lot.

___________

Thank you for reading, or skimming, or just, skipping to the end. Feel free to talk about your stories either in the comments, in a repost of this post or just in a whole new separate post. Also feel free to ask me questions on anything (such as "what are your coping strategies" or "tell us more on your insomnia" or something like that).

Don't forget to contact a help line if you are struggling, or reach out to someone your feel comfortable talking to. You matter!

Bye!

-Love, retro!

[affableboar-zero]

Okay I NEED to get this off my chest cause I went on a walk and thought about this and I just realized how insane this is.

Potential Parallel U spoilers, if you care, but yk

There is something so insane to me about Valerie and Naomi being Character and Narrative Foils

I mean like....they are quite literally two sides of the same coin. They could have been the same person. Both of them grew up in war-torn worlds, but child soldiers--Valerie the adoptive daughter of the head of command, and Naomi the adoptive daughter of the head Doctor at a camp. Both grew up around that horror and experienced it first hand, even if in different ways.

So why do Valerie and Naomi end up making different choices?

Valerie had something to go back to.

Valerie, since EPISODE 1 OF SEASON 1 has always asserted her reasoning behind going to Parallel U in the first place was to try and find something to help out her crew. I mean, there's a reason she still wears the necklace Hilda had on her when she died.

But then she gets there. And finds out that there is something here for her. That she can have a better life here and a safer one. She gains an earring to show it--one made in particular by Naomi.

And then Season 2 happens, and slowly one by one the once happy family she had was beginning to crack under the pressures. They were beginning to not tell each other things--because it didn't matter it wasn't that bad. And then Oliver ran away with Lucifer, and now they weren't a family any more. Sure, they tried, and Valerie got close to accepting that, but then Castor was put on trial and convicted.

And when Michael pulled her aside and told her now was the time to make that decision--to choose the Council that split her family apart for good, or to go back to them and let someone else face the same choice--she ran away. She couldn't face it, because she didn't want EITHER.

But she had somewhere to go. She had a crew to go back to who needed her, who she believed needed her. The necklace clasped around her neck was evidence of that.

So what of Naomi?

She never made many friends on her world. Many of those she was close with ended up dying from their wounds. She was constantly working under her dad who paid her little attention, and no one knew how to deal with a kid so young on a battlefield. They had their own problems.

She became resentful at the world. She wanted nothing to do with the people who attacked them, and knew nothing about the people she was helping. They never stayed long, always moving with the bigger groups when they went to attack to help out after. After something like that, the idea of being safe and stationary is foreign.

And yet, at Parallel U, that's what she got.

Once she was there, she was safe, and people talked to her--actually talked to her--and she got familiar with her surroundings, curious about the world. She was finally allowed to live.

So when the leader of this place talked to her specifically and asked her to do one simple thing--spy on and take notes about the group for them, and she would become a Sangha--how could she refuse?

She didn't have a place to go back to anyways. Nothing kept her there, and everything practically screamed at her to stay at Parallel U. Why go back to hell when you've already tasted Paradise?

The only problem is, Naomi didn't realize that The Council was just another type of hell. Valerie saw it when Castor was wrongfully imprisoned, but she didn't fully realize that until she saw Naomi turn up at her door in Val's world, demanding that she return to there.

[charlotteiscrying]

i started tapering off my methadone at the start of march ! my addiction dr told me i should go down 1mg, wait a month, go down 1mg, wait a month, etc. i said lol no, that’d take 40 months, im going down 5mg, waiting a month, etc. i couldn’t even tell i took less. absolutely zero withdraw :,)

i will be completely sober around september how the math works out. i am so beyond proud of myself. i cannot wait to be totally off this. and hey, at least i don’t still gotta quick alcohol ! ooooo, you haven’t changed at all, you are right back where you started before you met me. drinking every day, drinking copious amounts of hard liquor everyday, n repeating the next. drinking so that you can not feel.

you made me feel so much, in such a short amount of time, and such not good feelings. you COULD have just had that conversation you didn’t want to have. if you never loved me, a 5 min convo on facetime would have saved me all this hurt. you actually chose the polar opposite, you chose to get my hopes up as high as possible. you told me you’re moving back home, that you can’t wait to be able to drive to me whenever. we had the sweetest, nicest, best facetime we had had in months, you said i’m sleepy i wanna go to bed, i said alright get some sleep ily, you said “I dOnT lOvE yOu” n hung up. i would not call that breaking up w me. i would simply call that confusing as hell. bc yk damn well you had said that same sentence to me a million times. how was i supposed to read your mind that that time was any different ?

regardless, you know what you did, you know why you did it, you know what came of it. you hurt me more than any other human ever has, in my entire life. you didn’t have to hurt me. you chose to. that’s what hurt the most. you couldn’t just have a 2 min convo on the phone, say “yea i truly don’t know what i want, but i do know i don’t love you, and i don’t want to be with you anymore. i never loved you. i’ve been lying this whole time. i was never serious about that ring. i lied to you abt that on your birthday. thank you for all the good times, but this is goodbye.” i would have been sad, but i would have been happy that you at least were man enough to say it to my face. how hard would that of been, huh ? or do you genuinely believe i don’t deserve that. i don’t deserve to know.

i don’t even want you to hurt now. i can’t even bring myself to wish harm on you. i truly just hope you’re happy. i hope karma comes around to you, and i know it will, but i don’t want you to hurt. i wish you hadn’t hurt me this bad, but i don’t want your life ruined. i don’t want you to be in prison for the rest of your life. do i think you deserve that ? more probable. but do i want that for you ? no, not at all. that is why i will take your secrets to my grave with me. you don’t deserve me to keep them to myself, but i always will. you trusted me enough to keep them secret, even though you hurt me worse than i’ve ever hurt before, i will always keep them secret. i don’t know if that makes me even more insane. it probably does. i wish i could wish harm onto you. i wish i wanted to see you hurt. i just don’t. you put me through more pain than detoxing off that fentanyl did. than my entire 7 year addiction did. i so desperately wish you hadn’t treated me how you did, but i want you to live a long happy fulfilling life. away from alcohol and percs and all the bad stuff. i hope you and that motorcycle get to live together happily ever after, amen.

i’m moving out so soon :) i’ve actually SAVED a LOT of money, i have enough right now to cover first and last month’s rent, the deposit, and i’ll still have several bands left over. next is buying a car, again.

i’m slowly rebuilding my life. you truly left me with nothing. this is the second time i’m having to start over from nothing. this is the 4th time i’ve had to save up from nothing to buy a car for myself. in 2 months my phone plan will be paid off, im taking my phone off my moms plan and putting it on my own line. i’m staying on my moms insurance till im 25, then i’ll get medicade. i think i know where i want to rent. i’m so excited.

i’ve gained 30lbs since the day i went to detox. i’m 107 lbs today. i was 87 lbs that day i showed up at the hospital. i love how i look more than ever. i am so happy with myself, my brain, my body, my heart. my boobs have tripled in size, my ass is HUGE, i’ve been working out everyday for months now.

my skin is CLEAR. i have ZERO acne on my face right now. i do my skincare every night, even if im falling asleep exhausted, i still get up n do it. i’m showering at least every 3 days.

i’ve been posting on onlyfans more, only solo stuff, my entire onlyfans is just me :) i had the best month i’ve ever had on there. without your dick being in a single video. i just hit the top 10% of all onlyfans creators, after less than a month of being active again. i’m un-device-banned, i have snap on this phone again !!! i’m gonna buy a microwave just to nuke that red phone in.

i got asked to walk in baltimore fashion week, i said no lol, but a modeling scout actually scouted me, is trying to get me in that industry as well. i got the opportunity to be in a vans commercial, not a ad, a mf commercial that’d play across the entire country. a fashion nova commercial too. i’m not sure if im gonna say yes. i’m still thinking on it.

i am just so happy. so many doors are opening for me, this is just the beginning. i’m taking myself all the way to the top. my black x is burnt he fucked pre-porn me. you are burnt you fucked drug addict, unhealthy, underweight, titless me.

i’m gonna keep making progress. i’m gonna keep taking small baby steps. i’m gonna continue saving, continue tapering off my methadone. pretty soon i’ll be totally sober, n you’ll be worse than ever.

n that’s another thing i realized. you didn’t even get through detox on your own. you pussied out on day 3, tweaked on 5 drs, beat them up till they shot you up with fentanyl !!! then you mf died, so the drs detoxed you, while you took a nap. you couldn’t even get through fentanyl withdraw on your own. i did :) you went psychotic for a week n you couldn’t deal with it. you’re permanently fucked up now bc of it. your brain will always be altered because of it. i live in psychosis. i’m psychotic everyday. you got to experience what i do, for a tiny fraction of the time, and you went so insane you died !!! imagine your brain bein like that 24/7. that’s why i remember every second of detox, i didn’t go insane, ive always been equally this insane. but i got through detox. i pushed through the pain. i felt all the emotions, all the anxiety, all the hurt, and i learned to push past it. not to push it down, to feel it, and to move on. to use all that pain as fuel to fire me.

i am invincible. i don’t need anyone. i don’t want anyone. i’m good alone. i have so much to prove, and im gonna do it. thank you for reminding me who i am. you fucked up doin that :)