#it had an adverse effect in the end though

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

i've talked about it with the homie @hash-slinging-slasher-trash about the hilarity in that satoru is probably the type who doesn't do sleeping in separate spaces after an argument. you could be the one staying on the couch for all he cares, he'll still weasel his way into sleeping next to you whether that's on the floor next to where you're sleeping or just plopping himself wherever you're sleeping but without going under the blankets

he's not technically sleeping with you. he's by you or otherwise just outside of the space you've claimed for yourself

it's all based in clinginess and his own issues surrounding getting left behind by someone he cares about. it's already happened once, he doesn't want it happening again. so he'd rather annoyingly charm his way back into your space rather than wait for you to stop being irritated. most of the times it works so good for him

there's little an argument satoru thinks is bad enough that you can't go to bed together. you can be mad at each other, just in the same space

but if there is something that'd set him into panic mode in an argument is if you tell him "you know what, i'm staying at ー's tonight"

it doesn't matter who you said you'll spend the night with. it could be shoko's, your parents', a cousin's. that part doesn't matter in the slightest. he probably doesn't even really register who you said you'd be staying with

he only registers that you said you'd leave him and that stings 10x more than the argument does, it feels like you're stabbing him in the chest

just stay, he doesn't ask for much. it'd bother him a lot even after the arguments over and you've made up and you eventually promise that you won't leave the house even after you've fought

[kifu]

Actually starting to feel real sick from the neighbor burning a pile of wet leaves the size of an elephant on our eastern property line ... when we've had a 15+mph west wind the past couple days. The smoke had infiltrated our cars, our house, and our lungs and I'm feeling bleary-eyed, scratchy, and out of breath.

[kooki914]

Nobody asked and yet you're getting it anyway, my Dess interpretation! Tbf I love a lot of other people's Dess designs maybe more than my own based on complexity/symbology alone, but this is what my original take for her was so I'm sticking to it. Extremely long list of factoids for her under the cut!

Dess hasn't seen a hairbrush in 8 years.

Opening her first fountain was an accident, and so was entering the dark world, but it was something she desperately needed at that point. She was knighted by Spade King, before being dubbed the Roaring Knight by the general public after she opened the second fountain and people started (correctly) assuming she was trying to cause the apocalypse.

Dess is mtf trans! She was out since she was 9, and took puberty blockers for a while, but stopped after she disappeared because she, y'know, didn't have access to them anymore. Strangely, even though she's been off of them for so long, there's very few side effects. You can just see her Adam's apple sometimes and muscle mass started building for her easily, but that's it. She's silently grateful that her dad didn't pass down any beard-making genes.

The reason why it's been so mild is due in part because of the effect of being in the "void" for too long, aka the space so dark and isolated you can't even feel your own limbs. She was stuck in the code of the game, basically, and it's had adverse effects on her mentally and physically, the only positive effect being less testosterone production in her body.

The physical effects are odd. Though she's grown and her body's age is what it would've been if she never disappeared, she's still in the same clothes she was when she ran away, but they sized up with her. The black nail polish she had on is still there too, not even chipped. As previously mentioned, her hormones are out of whack but, somehow, she's still clearly a grown adult, as if she just went through a very, very mild puberty.

The mental effects of being stranded in the literal nothingness are as expected as they are odd. The standard effects of not having contact with another person for so long have, somehow, never taken hold. It's like the social part of her brain was just put on pause. However, part of the madness she DID get was her very much considering her memories might just be made up. As if she was always here and managed to, somehow, delude herself into thinking she had a life outside of this place, when she never did. Essentially, she stopped existing, but retained some level of consciousness.

The whole "not existing for a while" thing as well as the fact that she's pre-hrt trans means she absolutely hates mirrors. Give her a mirror and she'll give back about a hundred shards of it. When she was younger she usually just had dysphoria over looking too boyish (hence why she never cut her hair) but nowadays she has weird feelings about something as simple as Having Knees (the existential horror of having a body after being formless in the nothingness during your formative years).

Her journey as the Knight was mostly about rediscovering herself, trying to find purpose and trying to help the people around her. She spent her whole life feeling helpless, and wanted to destroy that feeling, for everyone. Her violent behavior was rewarded by the equally maladjusted Spade King, and they teamed up under the pretense of helping all of darkner kind.

Dess set out to cause the Roaring, per his instruction, without knowing what it even was. All she knew is that, apparently, she was the only one who could, and that gave her a sense of purpose. Once she learned it'd bring about the end of the world, she was so detached from the world that she carried on anyway, not concerned with the life that could be lost because, god, she spent so long outside it, how COULD she know what life was worth now?

Dess went by neutral pronouns (they/it) as the Knight because it was another mask she used to distance what she Knew of herself and what she Had to be (kind of like Asriel calling himself "Flowey" in Undertale, actually). Being called "her" was too familiarising and humanising, being called "he" made her break out into hives and start killing, so she stuck with the alternatives for utilitarian reasons. Somewhere along the way she got sick of it and started missing her feminine pronouns, but decided to just stick to the bit anyway. The world was gonna end soon anyhow, who cares?

Once she's out of the role of Knight and back in the light world, you bet your ass she's switching back to exclusively she/her. Fuck neutrality, this girl needs gender affirmative language.

Rediscovering music, and specifically playing and making music, was one of the things that helped Dess get back in touch with being a person again after the whole Knight debacle. She plays piano and harmonica of her own volition, and the violin because of her mom's insistence, but her true favourite will always be the guitar. She was a little small as a kid so playing it used to be difficult, but now that she's an adult having it in her lap is easy, and honestly it just makes her feel alive. One of those dreams she had as a kid that she forgot about along the way, y'know?

Her and Asriel were just family friends at first, but when they ended up going to the same class together too, they quickly became best friends. They were there for each other through everything, Dess got Asriel into games, he was there when she came out, and they were practically inseparable. Asriel was a hard worker and Dess was a super active sports kid, they balanced each other out well and were known as the highest achievers in their class, the golden kids.

Kris and Noelle got dragged into their adventures basically on accident, Noelle because Dess was the one babysitting her all the time, and Kris because they wanted to spend time with their brother. They often spent time outside together because Dess loved being anywhere but at home. She didn't mind Azzy's house, though. Kris was a lot to deal with sometimes and Dess scolded them in a lot of the same ways adults scolded her (minus the hitting them over the head with stuff, what was all her). She has no idea the impact she's had on their behavior.

She was always kind of violent, but when she was younger it wasn't really an issue, more like an excuse to get her into sports. She learned to act out because causing problems was the only context in which she'd get attention from her very busy parents. With Noelle specifically, Dess took on a semi-parental role and quickly developed a habit of taking on way more burdens than she could handle. Even with Asriel as a best friend and the Dreemurrs as a surrogate family, the control her mother Clarice commanded over her life was just too limiting. It all boiled over.

Dess started lashing out at other kids around when puberty hit, starting fights and genuinely hurting people. She never got expelled because her mother was the mayor, but Dess started getting grounded more and more often, which meant less and less time with her only real friend, and more with her very dysfunctional family. She loved Noelle, but her little sister became another responsibility, another liability that could get Dess in trouble, it was way too much for her to handle maturely when she was only 13.

Dess "disappeared" because she ran away from home. She hated living there, but neither of her parents could admit that, hence her disappearance being so "mysterious" to the other townsfolk, they genuinely thought she vanished from inside the house. It was only after Kris admitted they saw her in the woods near the bunker that night that the case got more complicated, and the legend only grew more terrifying.

Her original plan was to just catch a bus to out of town and hope for the best, but when she ran into the woods in pitch blackness, she couldn't find her way around. She was too reliant on light, and couldn't manage in darkness. She found the bunker in her aimless wandering and, hoping to sleep off the night and make up excuses in the morning, she went inside. She couldn't have known that nothing was in there.

The effects of her sudden disappearance rippled throughout the whole town. Most obviously, Asgore got fired for not being able to find her and Rudy quit his job to be a stay at home dad for Noelle's sake. Less tangibly, Asriel and Clarice both started burying themselves in work to avoid grief. Kris and Noelle socially shut down for a few years, it's why neither of them have any real friends other than the strained relationship they have with each other. Asriel took on Dess' habit of "be anywhere but home" when his parents started having marital problems, and Kris latched onto him even harder to avoid losing any more people in their life. Through all this, Dess was nowhere, silently wondering if anyone even noticed she's gone, if her life was even real to begin with.

One of the strange things that happened to her while stranded in nothingness was almost being able to hear someone mumbling to themselves. When she called out, the voice vanished, only to re-emerge an uncertain amount of time later and excuse himself for getting startled. He just doesn't get guests often, you see. And guests get him even more rarely. It was refreshing to hear a consciousness separate from her own, but his mind was even more broken than hers, unable to answer her questions about what was real and what was imagined as he seemed to think he himself was a product of unreality. Plus, he never really stayed for too long and he never wanted to talk about himself either, as if mentioning his own name could shatter him to pieces.

The reason Dess didn't lose her mind from to his influence like Jevil and Spamton did was because she's just fundamentally pragmatic. You can throw philosophy and existential questions at her all you want but as long as she talks and thinks, she exists, which means reality is Something, even if it's completely eluding her grasp. It might also have something to do with her being a (homestuck warning) Void player, meaning the idea of the innate meaninglessness of life and unanswerable questions about reality itself don't really sound earth-shattering to her.

She used her knife to open fountains at first, the one she brought with her from the light world, but along the way she picked up a rapier and decided it was way cooler than a knife so it's her go-to now. She's not actually that good with swords, though. She uses them like baseball bats. Despite this, Spade King still praises her as if she's the best warrior they've seen in generations. It might've gone to her head.

Her relationship with King is fundamentally a mentor and a student. He gave her flawed information, but taught her a lot about herself, the world she found herself in, and the role she could choose. And, that's the most important part, he let her CHOOSE, because he was genuinely under the impression that she was just a really powerful darkner and not a lightner. His strictness and high standards reminded her of her parents, mostly her mom, but his willingness to give HER control over her own destiny is what made her favour him over every other adult in her life. Discipline that treated her like a valued person rather than an asset was basically unheard of for her until then. Plus, reminding her of her parents gave Spade the bonus of every time he encouraged her on anything it'd activate the "parental approval" neurons in her brain that were terribly starved up to that point.

From Spade's point of view, the Knight (as a darkner) is everything he wants to be, but can't be. At first he mentored her mostly as an excuse to live vicariously through her, but in getting to know her better he discovered they have a lot more in common than he first thought. Unregulated emotions, unresolved pasts, the constant feeling that you need to do More and Louder in order to make any kind of impact... he started to genuinely care about her. If/when he's redeemed, finding out the Knight has been a lightner this whole time might not even be that much of a betrayal. Seeing her face and learning her name as she apologies for lying is like reconnecting with his own wounded, younger self. Letting it be water under the bridge means he doesn't lose connection to himself again, doesn't lose connection with his best student. Plus, December IS a nice name.

She met Lancer, but didn't pay him much mind. She was busy with overthrowing the other Kings and was too tired to be a babysitter again. Due to her rancid vibes as the Knight (and the fact that she quickly became the favoured child even though it wasn't her intention) Lancer doesn't like her that much. She left Card Kingdom pretty quickly, anyway (Spade's advice to seek another worthy kingdom to grant a fountain to), so she never got much of a chance to get to know him, even if she wanted to.

Her relationship with Queen is even more fraught. Due to Queen's tendency to mimic the "mother" personality for every lightner she meets individually, as well as her more Explicitly Controlling tendencies, Dess quickly became rebellious and then antagonistic towards her. Queen tried to choose FOR her, to get her to open fountains on HER terms, and Dess wasn't having it. Yes, following Queen's instructions would've caused the Roaring much, MUCH sooner, but, like. Not at ALL in a satisfying way.

She has no idea who Gaster is. When asked, she'll assume he's a Darkner. If asked about the man in the nothingness, she'll shrug it off. Now that she's out, she doesn't know if he's actually real or something she just made up in her head, though she laughs that off as well. "I sound a lot like him when saying that, huh?"

Learning Asriel goes to college is complete whiplash for her. Her sense of time is WRECKED. Like, yeah, she can wrap her head around Noelle and Kris being teens now, but ASRIEL??? What do you MEAN he's not still stressing over chemistry exams and cramming for spanish class, and is, like, actually studying something he's interested in???? Unheard of.

She makes fun of him SO much for his little beard stubble, dude. It's all in good fun, but like, you can only be called "mini Asgore" so many times by your childhood best friend before it starts to cut deeper. On the flipside he has literally nothing bad to say to her. She nearly caused the apocalypse, but like, he gets it. He would've done the same in her shoes (hooves??). He thinks her Dark World armour is so kickass and he could never pull it off like she can.

Unsurprisingly Asriel has a crush on Dess. He always kinda had one, even when they were kids, but reconnecting as adults just Fully bashed him over the head with the fact that he's had repressed feelings for her and he has NO idea what to do about it. He's anxiety incarnate and thinks Dess already KNOWS he has a crush on her and just isn't saying anything because she's playing it cool, or doesn't wanna hurt his feelings, or thinks he's too lame to date or something. He thinks she's the coolest person who ever lived and has no idea how to cope.

Meanwhile in reality, Dess is a clueless aro/ace. She doesn't really know what having a crush even means. She thinks being a couple is, like, flirting and fighting behind closed doors (you can tell the only couples she knew personally were her parents and Asriel's parents), so she thinks it's just exhausting and doesn't know why anyone bothers. When Noelle tells her she has a crush on Susie Dess is like "Hell yeah, love is love........ wait do you mean you like her or you want her to crush you with a boulder" and Noelle sweats for a while before replying with "b-both?"

Dess has never been to Castletown. Most likely will never go.

Her and Kris reconnecting is a bit awkward at first, mostly on account of the fact that Kris and their posse are the ones that had her bash her over the head as the Knight to get her to behave in the first place, but Dess doesn't really focus on that. Kris thinks they hurt her, she just thinks of them as a little hero. Susie kinda helps facilitate them talking like people again, at least at first, because she has no baggage with Dess other than hitting her with an ax over dark fountains and getting stabbed in return, but like... Out of all the people they fought Dess is the only one who actually said sorry for being a jackass, so it's all good in Susie's book. Kris is just happy to have Dess back, man, that bunker and their memory of it has been haunting them for entirely too long, now.

Like Kris and Asriel, Dess learned how to play piano in church. Unlike them, and unlike Noelle, Dess has actually become fully agnostic after her time in the void. If there IS an angel looking out for her, it certainly isn't one that could've helped her, so what's the point of worship? Plus, Asriel and Noelle are two angels looking out for her as is! Why add divinity to that? (I am extremely subtle, I know.)

To this day, she's still apologising to Asgore for getting him fired. He is still apologising for not being able to find her. It's a pity party.

No-one tell her parents but she smokes weed. Once she reformed from being the Knight, she had a lot on her mind, man, weed is the most harmless thing she could've taken to cope. Seam is a good dealer, they have the good stuff.

She's absolutely called King "dad" by accident before. He doesn't really mind. No-one tell Rudy though, he's gonna be pissed.

On that note, I feel the need to add that she was never as close to him as Noelle was, because he only really started being an active parent after Dess went missing. It's kinda tragic, and he feels REALLY guilty about it, but if he ever verbalises that guilt he's gonna actually crumble into dust. His confidence is all a mask as is, actually admitting that he was kind of garbage at being a dad with his first kid is just gonna make it so much worse. But, until Dess hears an apology, she's not really gonna be able to actually mend their relationship, so they're at an impasse.

Inversely, her time away from the light world kinda made Dess forget the way her mother acts. She sorta got a bit of "once away from the abuser you forget the abuse", especially knowing she herself was a kid when it all happened so she kinda started justifying her mother's actions to herself when away from her. After like 2 weeks of living with her again Dess fully remembers why she ran away and packs her bags to live literally anywhere else. Preferably with King if that's an option, though that might just make Lancer move out as well.

She doesn't know what minecraft is.

[samwhump]

a (very inexhaustive, wincest-heavy) sam whump reclist

@transfemmesam asked me for Sam whump recs a few days ago, and I've had other requests in the same vein before (I can't imagine why.../s) so I thought I would throw this together, since these authors deserve all of the love and support for their contributions to our li'l fandom corner.

like I mentioned in the title, this is not at all a comprehensive list; I have at least ~200 more fics in my to-read queue that could thematically fit here, but alas, I have stupid shit like a job and a body and a dog to take care of, so. I'm always happy to get recs along these lines, so if you notice anything important missing, hit me UP. (and don't take any omissions as any specific commentary by me -- it's likely I just haven't had the chance to read it yet, haha.)

disclaimers:

some (most, honestly) of these contain potentially triggering and dark content, including but not limited to rape/noncon, torture, and suicidal attempts & ideation. I have tried to note content warnings where applicable, and most of the works are hosted on ao3, so the tags should have most of the information you need to make an informed decision. that being said, tread with caution. all of the summaries provided are from the original author, with warnings added after by me.

the list is in alphabetical order and separated into wincest and gen categories. a lot of the gen is also focused on the sam & dean relationship, because...I am what I am. and what I am a sucker for these two dipshits. there is also a brief section at the end with a few fics that don't fit into either category.

gen

All That Goes Unspoken by amnesiawife:

A case forces Sam to confront something long kept buried. (Set nebulously in season 12.)

CW: discussions of past rape/noncon, victim blaming

Beneath the Trees 'verse by Lise (5 works total, starting with Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees):

Sam doesn't go to Stanford. Everything goes downhill from there.

CW: suicidal ideation

a boy is a cage by ad_castra:

After expelling Gadreel from Sam's body, Dean thinks they're in the clear. If only they were that lucky. // S9 fic wherein Gadreel's grace causes some adverse side-effects in Sam's mind.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon, body horror

body of proof by Askance (doomcountry):

There are things Sam hasn't told his brother. They're all in the envelope laid on Dean's pillow.

CW: heavy discussion of past rape/noncon

break these bones 'til they're better by redskyatmorning:

After Sam’s torture at the hands of the British Men of Letters, the latest in a long string of violations, he is rescued by Dean and Mary – and forced to ponder his broken relationship with his own body. Months later, when Sam is resurrected and tormented by Lucifer yet again, Dean confronts Mary and Sam gets his revenge against the devil.

catching my death (staring out an open window) by ad_castra:

Sam gazes at the window, catches the faint pink hue tinting the sky. It’s so realistic - he could breathe in the fresh air if he were really here. ----- They got Sam out. Sometimes, just knowing that isn't enough.

CW: implied past rape/noncon

Death of Convenience by WilsonTheMoose:

It should have been easy. Wendigos are no joke but daylight slows them. The weather's been unpredictable though and perfect, idyllic hunts don't exactly stay that way where they're concerned. Or Sam has one card to play and never stops to think that Dean would care if he killed himself.

CW: suicidal ideation, references to suicide

Echoes of Hell by The_Nightbreaker:

It wasn't real. He wasn't in Hell anymore. That's what he tried to tell himself over and over. But two centuries of torture don't disappear in a day. Sam struggles with visions of Hell, fighting to maintain his grip on reality. Dean hates that he can't protect his brother from what isn't real—but curse him if he doesn't try. When the boys stumble on a case with ties to the Devil himself, will they be able to pull themselves together in time to stop the sacrifices? Or will the echoes of Hell finally overtake them? Aka, season 7, but the plot is Hell trauma, not leviathans.

CW: suicidal ideation

Evening Shadows by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating the monster who tortured him for nearly two centuries, Dean feels like he's failing his brother, and a diner waitress bears witness.

CW: past rape/noncon

Everything Dies Given Time by Lise:

AU from 5.03. Sam discovers something wrong with himself, and learns to live with it. Only a lot less functional.

CW: suicide/temporary character death

The Freedom to Be Loud by jribbing:

It hadn’t occurred to Dean that maybe Sam remembered so much about that little nowhere town because something memorable had happened there.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

golgotha by redskyatmorning:

There’s a vacancy on the throne of hell, and Sam is desperate enough to save Dean from Michael’s possession to give into the abyssal depths of his own darkness.

Head Space by ameliacareful:

A witch curses Sam leaving him blind, deaf, and bedridden. Left with only the inside of his own head and the occasional touch, Sam begins to unravel.

CW: suicidal ideation

Hiraeth by inkandpaperqwerty:

(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past "Dean... I made a really big mistake." For a second, Dean actually thought things were going okay. He was out of Hell, Sam agreed to stop drinking demon blood, they had just wrapped up a successful hunt... for once, everything was okay. And then it wasn't. "I overdosed." Not at all.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

if i could leave (i would've already left) by serendipity0930:

“I have a mission from God for you,” the Angel whispers to the man. “It is time for you to do what you were born to.” The man’s face twists into a smile, delighted over being chosen by Him, a purpose from God digging into his heart, carving out a place to fester. “Hunt.” ... 05x03 AU where Zachariah is even more determined to keep the brothers apart and hunters are all too willing to take Lucifer's True Vessel off the board for good

CW: referenced suicide

It's A River (But Not In Egypt) by Lise:

He's still a liar. Maybe always has been.

CW: toxic Sam/Lucifer dynamics

Kindred Instruments by PinBitch:

They’re in a tug of war and Sam is the rope. He doesn’t need to be alive for that. OR Sam dies in detox, being flung against the walls of a metal box will do that to you. Dean and Ruby pick up the pieces.

CW: temporary main character death, permanent supporting character death

lazarus trick by katsidhe:

Sam's alive, so everything is gonna be okay. 13.22 coda.

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence by Lise:

Sam's back. He's in one piece. That's the problem.

CW: self-harm

love is like ghosts by redskyatmorning:

I’m poison, Dean had said instead of I’m sorry. Well, Sam wants to say, what does that make me? What the hell does that make me? (A look into Sam's mind in the aftermath of the Gadreel possession.)

The Other Brother by RadioFriday:

Sam and Adam are pulled from the cage at the same time. Sam is not right, and Adam, stuck as his caretaker, is not pleased.

Oxygen by inkandpaperqwerty:

“Cas! Cas, please! Please, answer me! Cas!” Castiel ignores Dean for several minutes, but then Dean gives him an opening that might help him complete his mission. So, he goes to investigate, and what he finds is a very bloody, nearly dead Sam. Dean tells him where the injuries came from, and Castiel quickly becomes confused. It doesn't make sense, but Dean tries to explain it to him, and slowly... Castiel begins to understand.

CW: suicide attempt

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc by AmberSock:

Sam waits, kneeling, for his execution. What if Dean hadn't missed?

CW: temporary character death

Safety In Distance by GalaxyThreads and SpiritClusters:

The Mark of Cain is a brand of violence. Sam was an idiot to think that he'd be exempt from it, just because he and Dean are siblings.

sometimes a kind of singing by adi_rotynd:

Sam gets cursed. They're dealing with it. Jack can see souls. That one they're not dealing with quite as well.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon

Soul Windows by GalaxyThreads and Spirit Clusters:

A few months after his birth, Jack learns how to see souls. Then he comes to a realization about the Winchester brothers, Sam in particular, and it's not a pleasant one. (gen)

Starry Night by keepcalmsmile:

Sam attempts suicide-by-monster. Dean tries to help. It sort of works...until it doesn't.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

such fragile, broken things by The_Bookkeeper:

Sam wishes that Dean would just get it over with already.

The Tale of Sir Galahad by keepcalmsmile:

Sam once said he could never be clean like Sir Galahad. Dean assumed he was just talking about the demon blood. Turns out, Sam was talking about something else too. WARNING: Extended discussions of the aftermath of rape and childhood sexual abuse (but NO description of the actual events). Happy(ish) ending, but potentially very triggering.

CW: past rape/noncon, mentioned CSA

They Hammered in His Teeth by jribbing:

Sam has a secret.

CW: suicidal ideation

today's troubles (are history tomorrow) by a_good_soldier:

"It's not really something I know how to share," Sam had said. In which Dean figures he ought to help Sam out a bit.

Touch and Go by themegalosaurus:

Tag to 9.19 (Alex Annie Alexis Ann) in which Dean realises why, exactly, Sam is so angry about what happened with Gadreel.

trust fall by ad_castra:

“I’m nothing like you,” Sam hisses. Nevermind relating to the anguish of going it alone. Nevermind that he knows what it is to be strapped down and forcibly cleansed against his will. Sam wonders if these trials are purifying Crowley as well. 

Words Like Glass by broken_cinders:

Dean never figured the cage wouldn't leave a mark. He was prepared for memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. He wasn't expecting the words Sam brought back with him or the way they made him seem just a breath beyond Dean's reach.

Wound and Unwound by fascra:

Sam stops eating spring of his freshman year.

CW: eating disorder

wincest (dean/sam)

Brittle by thecapn:

Sam Winchester has an eating disorder.

CW: eating disorder

Don't You Cry No More by sixtysevenlmpala (schittyfic):

The first time Sam gets badly hurt on a hunt, he doesn’t cry. Dean does.

Fall On Your Knees by dollylux:

Sam doesn't quite make it home on the last day of school before winter break.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez:

Set between 7.04 and the aftermath of 7.07. Dean is not as okay as he'd like you to think. Neither is Sam.

CW: self-harm

Feels so good to feel again by Trojie:

The pain keeps Lucifer at bay, at least to start with.

Follow In Your Form by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating Lucifer in the wake of Cas bringing his Hell Wall crashing down. To make matters worse, it seems like this has his dormant powers flaring back to life.

Last Temptation by merle_p:

Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state. Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

leeches by Anonymous:

Sam discovers a spell to make everybody forget him. He’s convinced it’s for the best. Pre-Stanford.

CW: attempted kidnapping/torture

Make Thick My Blood by themegalosaurus:

“You’re going to kill me, Dean,” Sam says, eventually. And all Dean can say is, “I think I am.” A season 10 AU, set after 10x14 ('The Executioner's Song'). Cas finds a solution that might cure the Mark of Cain; but if they're going to go through with it, Sam has a terrible price to pay.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Prophecy of an Abomination by ashitanoyuki:

Sam is kidnapped by fanatically religious hunters and crucified. Coming back from this won't be easy. Canon-divergent from midway through season 2.

Recall by De_Nugis:

Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.

The Room Upstairs by brokenlittleboy:

Sam comes back from hell, but he’s inside-out and all wrong, and Dean can’t fix him.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Ruin You (and its companion fic Worth) by Mumble_Bee:

Cole fucks Sam with Demon!Dean watching from a devil's trap, snarling that anyone would dare touch what was his. “I told you I don’t care what you do to his face or his blood or his fucking nose,” Dean growled, “but you put your dick anywhere near him and I will end you.” “Better hurry up then, Dean, because I don’t think I can wait much longer.”

CW: explicit rape/noncon

Snowed In by HelloStarlingFics:

When working a case, Sam and Dean get stuck out in a shack in the woods when the snow comes in hard and fast. Trouble is, Sam’s hated the cold ever since the Cage. Time for Dean to step up and look after him.

Wake by minchout:

Gadreel has had Sam for four years, and Dean, lost in guilt and obsessed with finding a way to get his brother back, has isolated himself in a cabin in the Missouri Ozarks with nothing but the woods, a stray dog, some chickens, and all the books the Men of Letters had to offer to keep him company. Then Sam shows up one day without his passenger, and Dean learns quickly that it doesn't matter that Sam is with him again - there is still a lot of work to be done before they can find their way back to each other.

Wanting to Forget by morganaDW (morgana07):

1-shot. S1 fic. After getting Sam freed from the Benders Dean thinks all he has to cope with is some bruises and cuts. He learns quickly just how wrong he is when Sam wakes up with a nightmare, reliving his brief but bad captivity in every detail. Sam just wants to forget & Dean has to try to get him to let him help. Will one night of cruelty and pain ruin what’s been formed between them?

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

when I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place by quake_quiver:

Sam doesn’t remember the last time he cried for Dean like he did that night. And now it’s been…two weeks. Maybe more. Sam is tired, and in pain, and starting to doubt that Dean’s going to show up. He’s weak and shaking from a combination of constant pain and hunger. Sam longs for Dean. Dean would make it better. Dean would fix it.

CW: rape/noncon, body horror

Wire Inside Me by merle_p:

There are a lot of things Sam hates about his current condition, to the point where he sometimes feels for the gun under his pillow at night, blindly toys with the safety, imagines pressing the muzzle into the underside of his chin and pulling the trigger just to make it stop. But there’s nothing he hates as much as the shadows he sees in Dean’s eyes whenever his brother is looking at him these days. It’s not an expression he remembers ever seeing before, but Sam thinks it’s probably something like revulsion. Horror. Disgust. What else could it be.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon, body horror, forced pregnancy

Worth (and its companion fic Ruin You) by Mumble_Bee:

Episode 10x01 "Black" where Dean is a human, and very, very, pissed off to hear someone has hands on his brother. “It’s nothing personal,” Cole whispered into Sam's ear, too quietly for Dean to hear, “but I need to kill your brother, and I need him off his game when he gets here. I don’t wanna hurt you, kid, but I’m going to, anyway. I’m going to hurt you a lot."

CW: explicit rape/noncon

you'll never see us again by according2thelore:

Then finally, his eyes trail over to Dean. His pupils are pin-point thin, and his hair is straggling in his face so Dean can’t see most of what expression lies there. Sam usually wakes up from nightmares in one of three attitudes: confusion, fear, or calm. A scary, sense-prickling calm that Dean hates more than anything else. Resignation, almost. Or: Sam suffers from nightmares and touch starvation post-Cage. They do their best to deal.

other Sam/Lucifer noncon

Cage Fight (No Way To Do This Right) by Dyed_Red:

Sam’s visit to the cage is already going awry, but Dean’s one-man rescue ends up skidding it sideways into territory neither him or Sam are ready for. (Gratuitous episode scene re-write. If Cas hadn’t come till after, if he hadn’t been there yet when Dean ran down to the 'parole' cage after hearing Sam scream - how bad could it have got for the brothers before he made it?)

CW: graphic rape/noncon

Into Being by withthekeyisking:

When Sam wakes up in the cave on Apocalypse World after having been killed by vamps, it's not just to find Lucifer there with him. It's to find him in him.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, necrophilia, forced pregnancy

Reggie/Tim/Sam noncon

a pointless resistance for you by withthekeyisking:

Sam doesn't know how long he's been with Tim and Reggie by the time Dean shows up and tries to take him out of there. Long enough that's he's already lost one baby and is pregnant with the next. Long enough that this life is starting to feel like all he knows.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, forced pregnancy & miscarriage, victim blaming

screaming birds sound an awful lot like singing by withthekeyisking:

Sam has done his best to move past what Tim and Reggie did to him, pretending it never happened at all. But running into them again makes that very difficult—especially when Dean gets involved.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

Waste 'Em All by withthekeyisking:

When Tim and Reggie try to force the demon blood down Sam's throat, he spits it back out. He has no interest in being turned into their own personal attack dog. They don't...take it well.

CW: explicit rape/noncon

[adventuringblind]

Teach Me Part Two

Max Verstappen x Reader Part One

Genre: Hurt/Comfort with a speck of spice (technically speaking)

Summary: Max teacher his girl about subdrops and helps her through one of her own

Warnings: Softdom Max, mentions to a past toxic relationship, mentions of choking, subdrop, minor insecurity, Implied smut but nothing graphic, Lando is mentioned for like a paragraph because I can

Notes: For @nurse-sainz who has fueled my brainrot to an unhealthy amount

Side Note: My inbox is open and I crave attention... :)

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Max had come to the conclusion early on that she would inevitably hit a subdrop at some point. As much as he would like to make it so she never has one, he knows it's going to happen eventually. It's - unfortunately - hard to predict and often random. 

Crashing out of a subspace too fast, A used safeword, maybe even just too much stimulation. He's had partners be in that lovely place in their heads and fine only to fall from it without grace and send them into a panic. 

“A subdrop? I don’t think I read about those-”

“It’s one of those things that they don’t talk about as much. Hitting a subspace is hard because you have to let go, right? A subdrop is when your mind is stuck between the two. It’s trying to take back control but can’t.” Max pauses the movie they hadn’t been paying attention to. This conversation takes precedence as far as he’s concerned. 

She hums and rubs the side of her face against his arm like she’s a cat. “They sound scary. I’m not sure I want to have one of those.” 

“Just remember that if you ever do, I’ll be right there with you, yes?”

“Yes.”

He smirks at her. The idea had already been planted in his head. “Yes, who?”

She grumbles. A furious shade of red making its way across her cheeks. The honorifics is a relatively recent thing. The effect it has on her has Max cooing; debating if he should ever let her out of his arms again. 

“...Yes sir.” 

“Good girl.” 

~~~♡~~~

Choking had come up a few times in the past. They’d talked about it but not done anything with it. Not since she wasn’t sure. She’d even brought up how her ex (the bastard) had tried to choke her out before she managed to flip them over and bolt to Max’s own room. 

He wasn’t going to push for that. Never something that could be triggering. They’d decided that his hand gently putting pressure on the back of her neck was enough. She liked that and Max liked that she was communicating. 

But sometimes - even that can be enough to bring back memories. He’d been lucky so far to not have triggered anything. Max knows from experience that even movements that are too quick can have an adverse reaction. 

It’s not late, the sun is barely setting over the Monaco sky. Though - he’s not paying attention to the time so it could also be rising. He’d never know the difference. He’s only focused on the mess of a female he has underneath him. 

She’s not formed a coherent string of words since orgasm number three. Only able to squeak out his name alongside little whimpers. It’s safe to say Max is pussy drunk and can’t get enough of her. He’s not satisfied yet, and wants to see how far he can push.

Max isn’t sure which touch triggers it. He’s pressed up against her in most spots leaving it hard to decipher where he ends and she begins. 

He only notices she’s slipped into that awful middle headspace when he pulls back for just a second, intent on picking his pace back up. The confused fear that settles over her expression makes him freeze, patiently assessing the situation. 

Her teeth clatter together, the pain of something evident. The breathing pattern he’d been waiting to even out only gets worse. “Schat, can you take a big breath for me?” He settles the palm of his hand against her rapidly beating heart. His concern only grows when she doesn’t show any signs of hearing him. 

She makes a defensive movement to cover her throat with her own hands, silently pleading with her eyes not to touch her in such a vulnerable location. It dawns on him, that in his own flurry of movements, it’s possible he brushed her neck and set off her emotions.

“I’m going to step away from you for a second so I’m not touching, okay?” Her eyes go wide with panic and he knows she’s probably struggling to comprehend. The sadness of her expression kills him as he detaches. 

Tears prick her eyes the second contact breaks completely. She snatches hold of Max’s own wrist and in a last ditch effort to make him stay, tries to press his fingers around her airway. “Nonono, schat, I know you don’t want that.” When he’s able to hold her gently once more after having resituated, the sobs she’d been biting back finally escape. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe, I would never do something you didn’t want.” 

Max doesn’t grimace when her nails press into his bare skin; when she’s clinging to him for stability. He holds her, hums, helps her to try and steady her breath. 

“Mm’ sorry-” 

“Shh, you’ve nothing to be sorry for. Rest now.” 

~~~♡~~~

Max manages to coax her into sleeping. She’s cute like this, curled up against him with her ear pressed against his chest. He presumes the rhythmic sound of his thudding heart is helping calm her mind. He makes a mental note to invest in some kind of white noise for if (he knows it’ll be a when, but he’s choosing to be optimistic). 

“Max?” Her eyes crack open, only to shut tight again when she yawns. 

“Hello beautiful, how are you feeling?” He tosses his phone aside to give her his full attention. 

“Better - I think. I’m not sure I liked that feeling.”

“I would be concerned if you did, schat.” 

She stretches her limbs out and flops further over the top of him. “Thank you… I was scared I messed up and you were going to leave.” He has to take a deep breath and remember that anger at the man who put these crazy thoughts in her head is no longer able to come close. He made sure of that with a few cryptic messages glued together in newspaper words and Lando’s artistic assistance. 

“You’ve bewitched me! Body and soul… or something-”

“Are you trying to quote Pride and Prejudice?” 

“Is it working?” He’s blushing at his own lame attempt. Victoria would have his head for this later. Problems for future Max. 

She giggles. “Not really - but I’ll give you a pass this time.” 

Max gets her out of bed and into a bath. He makes a show of letting her pout to join her inside win out. He lost that battle before it even started, but she doesn’t need to know that. 

“It’s nice… trusting someone like this.” She relaxes against him, the water now lukewarm and the bubbles having dissipated. 

“You still trust me?” Oops - Max hadn’t meant to let his own insecurity about the ordeal leak out. Oh well…

She tilts her head in confusion. “Why would I not?” 

“It happens sometimes after a drop like that. At least - I’ve heard it can. I figured I was lucky enough that it hadn’t.” 

“I think you’re just good at this. Not like you were trying to hurt me.” She shrugs. “I trust you, Max. You have given me nothing but your undying love and support.” 

“...Now look who’s being sappy!” 

“At least mine is original.” 

“Can you at least pretend that I’ve also given you some really good dick?” 

“Fine! Nothing but your undying devotion to me and some really dick. Happy?”

Max sighs happily and drags her body as close to his as he can manage. “With you? Always.”

[growingstories]

Fireman

Once upon a time in, the bustling city of Firewood, there lived a handsome very tall and fireman named Eric. With his chiseled jawline, piercing blue eyes, and muscular frame, he had always been the object of admiration for his fellow firefighters and the ladies of Firewood. Eric prided himself on his physical fitness and found solace in his high-intensity workouts.

However, life took an unexpected turn for Eric when he began dating his girlfriend, Sarah. Sarah had a weakness for big men and enjoyed cooking hearty meals. As their relationship progressed, Sarah's portions gradually grew larger, catering to Eric's desire to put on weight. Initially, Eric embraced this change, believing it would enhance his masculine appeal.

In an effort to balance his newfound appetite, Eric increased his workout routines, desperately trying to build muscle while cutting down on the inevitable fat accumulation. But his body seemed to have a different plan, as the stubborn fat refused to dissipate, even with his rigorous exercises.

To make matters worse, Eric's fire department welcomed some new colleagues, bringing along their culinary skills. Unknown to Eric, these new firefighters were renowned for their indulgent cooking. Each shift brought mouthwatering dishes with hearty portions that Eric found irresistible. He couldn't resist the temptation indul andged in these culinary delights.

As the months passed, Eric's weight began skyrocket to. He could barely fit into his fireman uniform, and his peers started noticing his increasing waistline. Frustration consumed him as he struggled to pass the physical fitness tests required for his job. Eric felt trapped, unable to break free from the cycle of overeating and his sedentary office job.

Determined to regain control of his life, Eric reluctantly accepted a desk job at the fire department headquarters. This decision, though necessary, had adverse effects on Eric's physical well-being. The monotonous office routine left him feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied. Seeking solace, he turned to the comfort of food once again, finding temporary happiness in each bite.

The combination of Sarah's, cooking his colleagues' culinary expertise, and the long office hours led Eric to a point of no return. Every night, Eric and Sarah would curl up on the sofa, with a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, and engage in passionate lovemaking. The food and sex became intertwined in a never-ending loop of pleasure and indulgence.

Months went by, and Eric's expanding waistline matched his growing appetite. His once muscular frame was now concealed beneath layers of fat, making it almost impossible for him to find clothing that fit. The fitness tests were a distant memory, as even the simplest physical tasks became insurmountable challenges.

Despite the limitations his weight imposed on him, Eric continued to indulge in food. The frustration of his growing size seemed to be overshadowed by the pleasure he derived from his new office job, combined with the joy of devouring copious amounts of food. His lunch and dinner consisted of supersized portions, followed by a late-night rendezvous with Ben & Jerry's and his girlfriend.

Eric's transformation did not go unnoticed, and he was eventually promoted to safety adviser at the headquarters. His new role only contributed to his sedentary lifestyle, as he spent most of his time sitting behind a desk, basking in the warmth of his office routine.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Eric's weight showed no sign of stopping its relentless climb. His once athletic body had been replaced by an immense, round form that seemed to fill every space he occupied.

But Eric found solace in his seemingly never-ending cycle of indulgence. He reveled in the pleasures that life offered him, finding pleasure in his big lunches, oversized dinners, irresistible ice cream, and the passionate lovemaking that followed. His love for life overshadowed any concerns about his health or appearance.

And so, Eric lived each day, embracing the path he had chosen. In his mind, there was no stopping the pleasure he derived from his newfound routine. The road to self-restraint seemed distant, as he surrendered himself to the pleasures of food, sex, and sleep.

In the end, Eric had created his own world, a world where he found immense happiness in his gluttonous habits. His journey was a testament to the power of indulgence and the allure of a life driven by pleasure.

[lizordula]

Make Up Your Mind

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Summary: You're a makeup artist working for the documentary crew. On Halloween, you learn that Melissa's specialties include costumes and looking hot, among other things.

Warnings: mention of clowns

Word Count: ~2.1k

A/N: I've been sitting on this for a while, but I figured today would be a good day to post it. Happy Halloween! Lemme know if you'd be interested in a pt. 2 ^^

AO3 Link

"Places, people."

The director clapped his hands, shooing the camera crew around to take their designated places for the recording of the talking heads.

The halls at Abbott Elementary were buzzing with the Halloween spirit. Walls were elaborately decorated with spider webs, pumpkins littered every surface, and students and staff members had dressed up to the nines. Even the documentary crew spontaneously decided to film in costumes, and so it happened that there were quite literally a bunch of clowns operating the camera equipment.

You weren't sure, though, if those costumes had been the best choice for an elementary school. Turns out, a group of clowns lurking around every corner and running after staff members had a rather adverse effect on children. Not even one lesson in, and you had to console at least five crying students.

Well, and Jacob, who held up production by rambling about a janitor ghost for a good while.

On short notice, you weren't able to organize a suitable costume for yourself, so you were the only crew member in regular clothes. Makeup bag slung over your shoulder, you stood awkwardly to the side and waited for a certain second-grade teacher to show up for her touch-up. Your right foot bounced up and down excitedly at the prospect of seeing her again after the weekend.

The first time you met Melissa, she refused to let you anywhere near her face or hair, almost offended by the implication that something about her needed fixing. You respected her boundaries and said that she would know where to find you when - not if - she changed her mind. The following week, she begrudgingly had to give in to your offer.

Apparently, Janine had broken into the breaker to fix the flickering lights but ended up causing a school-wide power outage. You had to stifle your laughter when Melissa had trudged up to you before shooting, fixing you with a fierce glare that told you to spare her your 'I told you so'. She looked as if she had broken into the electrical current herself, the way her hair was all frizzed and tousled up. Her makeup hadn't fared too well either because of the sweat she had worked up during the sprint to her branzini.

The branzini didn't make it, unfortunately. But you were able to tame Melissa's red locks and, apparently, didn't do a too bad job on her makeup either, if her approving nod after she viewed herself in her phone's front camera was any indication.

After that, Melissa started warming up to you, and you sensed her respect for your work growing. But what really won her over were your compliments. You were never stingy with compliments when working on people and didn't have any ulterior motives when you complimented Melissa's hair or her eyes. However, you had to admit that she was very much your type and that you enjoyed flustering her.

To your surprise, Melissa not only returned your compliments in kind but started flirting with you as well. From then on, your comfortable banter before each interview became routine. Sometimes Melissa brought you a coffee, and if you coincidentally had a spare after she had mentioned how much she liked a product, you would gift it to her.

You couldn't deny that you had become infatuated with Melissa Schemmenti, but with the limited time you had with her before the interviews and your colleagues constantly listening in, you always backed out of making a move on her.

You were brought back from your reverie when you spotted Melissa turning the corner. Your eyes widened when your eyes roved over the redhead's costume. She was wearing a form-fitting red bodysuit with pink tights, which beautifully accentuated her hourglass figure, and a flowy red cape and headpiece finished the unmistakable look of the Scarlet Witch.

While you were ogling her, Melissa searched for you amid the bustle of the documentary crew. It wasn't hard to spot you as you stood out like a sore thumb among the camera clown posse. Her lips quirked upward when she noticed how you were already staring at her and not so subtly checking out her costume. Your obvious appreciation for her costume made Melissa stand straighter and puff out her chest as she sauntered over to you, a smile spreading on her face when you locked eyes.

"Hey, hon. No costume?"

"Nope, didn't have one appropriate for an elementary school," you replied with a chuckle, grabbing Melissa by her elbow and leading her to the side of the corridor. You rummaged around in your bag in search of her powder shade and a brush and faced her again.

"What, as in too sexy?" she grinned, crossing her arms. Your gaze flickered briefly to her cleavage being pushed up by the movement.

"No, as in 'the kids would shit their pants in fear'," you snorted, dabbing the powder across Melissa's t-zone in practiced motions. Melissa spluttered when you deliberately brushed over her lips to wipe off her smug grin. You smirked and took out a comb and the hairspray next, signaling Melissa to close her eyes.

"Besides, if sexy is inappropriate, you didn't get the memo," you continued slyly, emboldened by the fact that you didn't have to look Melissa in the eyes while you said it. When you finished, she opened her eyes and looked you up and down curiously, ready to retort, but she was interrupted by a loud groan from the director.

"Oh god, not again. Why isn't this recording?"

Melissa and you turned toward the commotion, observing multiple people scurrying around the camera equipment. Their attempts to fix the problem by pushing different buttons and adjusting cables were completely foreign to you, but this hadn't been the first time the camera malfunctioned, so you knew you had some time to waste.

"That'll probably take a minute. Want me to spruce up your makeup?" you asked, waggling your eyebrows at Melissa.

"Sure, as long as you don't turn me into a killer clown. We have 'nough of those running around," Melissa replied, playfully rolling her eyes.

"Honey, with that face? I could never," you drawled and took Melissa's hand, dragging her to the nearby supply closet where the crew stored their excess equipment. Melissa closed the door behind her and sat against a desk, her eyes glued on your behind as you bent over to retrieve something from another bag.

Her head snapped up when you turned around with some brushes, a lipstick, and an eyeshadow palette and joined Melissa at the desk. Normally, she was a bit taller than you, but thanks to her position, you were a few inches above her for a change. Melissa held eye contact as she slowly spread her legs so you could position yourself comfortably between her thighs, watching your reaction with a raised brow. You gulped at the display and hesitantly drew closer, body heating up at this newfound proximity.

"Close your eyes," you ordered hoarsely, your hand tightly gripping the eyeshadow brush, hovering it in front of Melissa's face. Melissa stared at you a moment longer with a smirk, enjoying seeing you squirm between her legs, but it was her turn to blush when you took her chin between your thumb and pointer finger, angling her head slightly to the left. Your lips quirked upward when you saw Melissa swallow hard.

Two could play this game.

For the next few minutes, your breathing was the only sound in the room while you painted a simple red crease on Melissa's eyelids. It was a comfortable silence. Your mind constantly wandered to the fact that Melissa and you were alone for the first time, secluded in a storage room, away from the documentary crew's prying eyes. A blush spread on your cheeks when you thought about how it might look to the crew if Melissa and you left the supply closet together.

You hoped to God that the blush wouldn't show on your face when you tapped Melissa's thigh lightly, signaling her to open her eyes again. You stopped her with a hand on her forearm before she could get out her phone to view the results.

"Wait, I still need to add the finishing touch," you said and leaned over the redhead to exchange the palette and brush for the lipstick you deposited on the table earlier. Melissa's heart started pounding away when your chests brushed together. Her hands instinctively reached out, resting on your hips to steady you. When you leaned back again, Melissa's hands remained.

You looked from Melissa's hands to her eyes pointedly, lips curling into a smile despite yourself, and Melissa grinned, squeezing your hips briefly to remind you that you had a job to do. Clearing your throat to refocus, you gently grabbed Melissa's jaw to keep her in place. She watched with bated breath as you uncapped the lipstick with your other hand and brought it closer to her lips.

While you were focused on applying the bright red lipstick to plush lips, Melissa's gaze traveled over your face, mesmerized by the way your brows furrowed in concentration or how you bit your lower lip as your hand lightly squeezed her jaw. When you were done, you swiped along the edge of her lower lip with your thumb, wiping away any smudges left behind by the lipstick. You locked gazes with Melissa as you did, suddenly aware of how you were mere inches apart. Your thumb brushed softly over her lower lip, and you thought about how easy it would be to lean in and steal a kiss. But you willed yourself to pull away.

"All done," you announced and let your hands fall to Melissa's thighs. Her hands lifted from your hips as she grabbed her phone to regard herself in the front camera. Your stomach fluttered when her face broke into a smile as she took in the red eyeshadow and lipstick perfectly complimenting her costume.

"I love it. Thank you, hon," Melissa breathed, gazing at you affectionately.

"I'm glad you like it. Oh, and take this. You can reapply it throughout the day," you added, handing her the lipstick you painted her lips with.

"No, I- You already gave me that concealer last week, and I-" Melissa started, but you interrupted her with a squeeze of her thighs.

"Melissa, I gave you those things because I wanted to. Please take it," you insisted. Melissa nodded sheepishly and took the lipstick from you, stuffing it inside her bra.

You glanced at the door, lip caught between your teeth.

By now, the crew had probably fixed the problem. It was time to head back out again, however, you didn't want the moment to end. This had been probably the longest time you had spent with Melissa and the first time you were alone, and you figured that if your flirting would ever amount to something, you had to make up your mind and take a chance now.

However…," you began and took a deep breath, bracing yourself for a long overdue leap of faith. "If you want to repay me, you could be my plus one at this Halloween party at Woody's tonight."

You wrung your hands nervously while Melissa blinked at you a few times, the silence seemingly stretching forever. Long enough to make you wonder whether you misjudged the situation. You took your hands from Melissa's thighs and moved to put some space between Melissa and you, but before you could step back, she grabbed you by your forearm, pulling you back toward her.

"I would like that," she smiled, brushing her thumb over your wrist.

"Uh, great," you exclaimed when Melissa's words sunk in, "it's a date. I'll text you the time and address."

Melissa nodded, and for a moment, you both stood grinning at each other, holding onto each other's hands. When you remembered that you should probably bring Melissa back, you stepped back slowly, holding onto her hand until you had to break apart, and turned around to sort away your makeup equipment. When you faced Melissa again, she was already holding the door for you.

You stopped in the doorframe next to the redhead, giving her costume a very slow, appreciative once over, and cast her a smouldering look.

"And wear this."

━━━

"Oh, I love Halloween. Best holiday by far. Disguises, crime, lookin' hot? These are my specialties," Melissa told the camera, hand propped on her hip. Her eyes flickered to you, then, and her smirk grew. The crew was none the wiser about the silent exchange between the two of you.

You shot her a wink before she left for class. A promise that you would be exploring at least one of those specialties tonight.

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

I love how so many interpersonal conflict in MDZS aren't caused by simple 'miscommunication' – they're caused by people being too quick to judge things based on rumours or one-sided information, without consideration for the actual evidence behind that.

The soup incident? JZX only believed the guest cultivator's side of things without consideration of JYL's words. 3zun's fate? LXC only considered JGY's side of the story, without considering NMJ's may have some truth to it (because in his mind, JGY had a justifiable reason for all his actions). Sunshot-era Wangxian conflict? LWJ believed the unfounded* narrative he was taught around what guidao does, contrary to what the only source of evidence was saying, and it's this that leads to WWX constructing a barrier between them. Their final confrontation at Nightless City? WWX came to the conclusion that LWJ was against him, hated him too, despite the fact that "any sane person would be able to tell that Lan WangJi’s voice was clearly shaking" (EXR, Chapter 78), due to his mental state at the time.

This same mindset is also leveraged by other people, for varying purposes – whether it be JGS blatantly lying about WWX's words in the hopes people would believe him, or NHS spreading false rumours about the man-eating castles at Xinglu Ridge in order to stop people disturbing the sabre spirits (of course he uses this mindset in his plan to utterly destroy JGY as well, both directly and to contribute to the view NHS is useless). And that mindset also creates the main driving antagonistic force – the rumour-driven mob mentality so present in the world.

I just love how present this theme (the harm of coming to conclusions based on incomplete evidence) is in the novel, even when it's not drawn attention to**!

(more discussion under the cut)

Now, there are obviously other factors to the conflicts above – and in most cases, these reactions are understandable (WWX's misreadings due to his mental state at Nightless City, for one thing, but others, too). For example there was evidence that appeared to be there supporting LWJ's views on guidao: WWX did appear paler, there would definitely have been differences in his health vs the health of those with a working Golden Core, and he was quick to anger and did seem more arrogant than before, even though that was moreso a combination of trauma and constructing an image that meant nobody would look into the matter of his Golden Core too closely. So argubaly, he did weigh the evidence he had, and it just led him to the wrong conclusion! But none of that means this aspect wasn't a major factor in those conflicts – just as it doesn't mean that LWJ didn't instantly disregard the other side of the story (WWX's words), and came to the wrong conclusion partially because of it.

That also doesn't mean the characters can't learn from this or change their conclusion – LWJ comes to accept WWX's words towards the end of WWX's first life, LXC does open up to the potential flaws within JGY when Wangxian raise it, and after he's seen NMJ's corpse, due to receiving strong evidence (the wrong melody and cleanly missing pages in the Collection of Turmoil, for instance). If he only started suspecting JGY after he shows his cards at the Guanyin Temple, he wouldn't have done things like block JGY from the Cloud Recesses, for instance.

(And, a final note: the problem isn't that these characters chose the 'wrong side' of the issue to see it from – their process would still have been flawed even if they came to the right conclusion from its other side. The problem here is that none of them consider both and weigh them up to judge.)

––

*Regardless of whether you believe guidao has an adverse effect on mental state, and it isn't just trauma – WWX is the inventor of guidao! So any pre-invention speculation about the effects of guidao was, by the word's definition, unfounded... and these teachings were certainly pre-invention! So though I do have an opinion regarding this, it doesn't affect the point.

**Chapter 30 is a good example of when it is: '[LWJ:] “One should not comment without understanding the whole picture.”' (EXR) – but it appears in many of Wangxian's actions throughout the present day section of the novel (especially in regard to teaching the Juniors).

[bambi-kinos]

I have been thinking about this ask since I got it and as to the question of why John treated people the way he did, especially Paul. My take on this situation is that John Lennon was not allowed to grow up by the environment and people he was surrounded by and so he could not envision the future consequences of his actions the way that the average adult can. This with the addition of his constant drug use (which in all likelihood left him with significant brain damage) meant that he could not function the way an adult should.

John actually did have periods of emotional growth where he looked inward, changed, and tried to do better. These moments took place before he got famous, when he was faced with adversity and he rose to meet it.

IMO Hamburg 1960 was such a time. John partied, he found new pills to take, he experimented with kissing and shagging men, he discovered transgender people (and shagged them), and had a lot of ups and downs with his boyfriend(s) and his group. It is easy to dismiss this as mindless hedonism but as a retired hedonist myself (though I never pushed as hard as John did) I will tell you: hedonism can lead to introspection and self knowledge. John really pushed it to its limits and he almost lost Paul because of it but I think the Great Unknown that happened in Hamburg pushed John to actively change. He cleaned himself up a bit especially once Stuart left to be with Astrid. Once he came back to Liverpool (after enduring the trauma of his bandmates being ripped from him, yet another violent separation that no doubt would have left him in an emotional tailspin) he rested, hooked up with Cynthia, and then went looking for Paul knowing that he needed him to make this band thing work. Like, John spent a few weeks in his bedroom not speaking to anyone once he went home. He didn't want to be seen, he wanted to sleep and eat hot food, and think. He was considering whether he should continue with the band or not, if this was really worth it. Which implies there was a precarious moment where John was thinking of just ending The Beatles. He decided that the plan still had merit, ran into George, and then went to fetch Paul. A few months of light groveling and nagging later, Paul was his again. John committed to The Beatles and therefore committed to Paul. Paris was the culmination of this change and John's reward for putting in the work, and from what we can gather, Paul made every inch worth John's while.

The Beatlemania years leading up to Sgt. Pepper and psychedelia. This was period is more like 1961-1965 Shea Stadium. From here it was an upward climb and subsequently the most intense period of his relationship with Paul. I don't think this was just youthful enthusiasm and the flush of a new relationship, I think John was learning and growing as a person thanks to this adversity. He bonded even closer to Paul which resulted in their intimacy deepening; John's songwriting matured and culminated in "Ticket to Ride" which is a brutal self evaluation of his own faults and how he drives his loved ones away from him. You don't write a song like "Ticket to Ride" because you have no idea what it's like for your lover to get fed up with your moodiness and leave you. John was much more self aware than he's given credit for. This continued onward, them thinking they've reached the summit only to find there's a new height to climb. John said something to the effect of "I saw the top of the mountain" as a result of the first Shea concert. (They would do a second Shea concert in 1966.) That was when he realized that The Beatles were it and that they were not vacating the number one spot any time soon. What else was there to strive for?

And I think after that, a lot of John's emotional development kind of...stopped. Or was held up. Or slowed down to a snail's pace, whichever you prefer. The LSD had a hand in this, tripping constantly takes a lot out of you. Yesterday played its part, John emotionally retreated out of fear of losing Paul (which of course ensured that he lost Paul forever). Success becomes your enemy sometimes; John had so much success that he no longer had to face adversity, no longer had to grow because everything he wanted was on tap. As someone somewhere said, fame ruined the Beatles in this way.

That's the crux of it, I think. He just stopped maturing. It was childish the way he slagged off Paul -- not just Paul but other people as well. Sean said that John spent the rest of his life apologizing to everyone he ran into because of Lennon Remembers, which implies he burned a lot of bridges with that one. John had a habit of doing that and his fame as a Beatle enabled him to do it without consequences. No one was willing to stand up to him so he didn't get to learn a pattern of "don't do this or else this will happen." He was mentally damaged from his drug usage and I also wonder if he had a genuine learning disability of some kind because he simply could not make the connection between cause/effect: "If I do X then Y might happen so I shouldn't do X." His mother was not a drug user like John but she exhibited many of the same behaviors he did. Namely the "inability to visualize consequences" thing.

John did care about Paul, especially when it was starting out. I think the love was pure then because his mental aesthetic of who and what Paul was had not yet been distorted. John knew who Paul was, he knew who John Lennon was, they were in love and everything was possible.

But then John's untreated mental illness begins to take its toll, he's self medicating with drugs which does more harm than good, his mental aesthetic of Paul distorts more and more because Paul will not let him in. The media did this to John too, all of them reporting on how cool Paul was and how amazing Yesterday is and John is shitting himself internally because he can feel the split already forming between them musically. John is unable to stop himself from manipulating Paul in response, which is a bad move because Paul is the ultimate contrarian and bolts in response. Which sends John into deeper panic etc. And oh yes, the entire world is watching them while this happens and nitpicking their every move. We live in the age of social media, we know what this is like.

Over time that love became mixed in with anger and resentment. John could not tell fantasy from reality. He did what he always does and he imagined something, tricked himself into believing it, and then got mad about something that didn't exist. If he did reach out to Paul then Paul responded badly, which understandably devastated John's feelings.

When you show someone your real feelings and they dismiss you or trivialize your vulnerability because they want to Win At Being Right...your relationship crumbles with that person. A common bug in Paul's relationships is that he needs to Win At Being Right even at the expense of people loving him. We don't know this for sure but I'm convinced he did this to John plenty of times. Frankly, a relationship cannot survive that behavior. Lack of mutual respect kills marriages all the time. I absolutely believe that Paul disrespected John and trivialized his feelings (even if by accident) and that this caused John to become bitter over time since Paul took him for granted. Who wouldn't become bitter under those circumstances?

This is how they got into the "fuck you/no, please, fuck you/no no no fuck YOU/I absolutely insist, you must go fuck yourself" cycle. Which John really just expanded on during the 1970s with his bitching about Paul, it was just another level of the "fuck you bitch" cycle that started between them with Yesterday. And John's immaturity and brain damage from drug usage and his inability to understand consequences meant that he didn't fully comprehend what he was doing. He didn't want to think that Paul was vulnerable because Paul had rejected John's vulnerability. He didn't want to imagine he was hurting Paul deeply because Paul had hurt him deeply. He wanted revenge on Paul more than he wanted to keep his relationship with Paul because he thought Paul wouldn't be too damaged by it. I think John had gotten comfortable with the idea that no matter what he threw at Paul, Paul would not only survive it but that he'd rub John's face in it. I don't think John ever considered the idea that he could actually succeed in what he was doing, he never imagined that he would actually win the argument and that he would damage Paul's image and John's relationship with Paul forever. That sense of "I'll lose no matter what" enabled him to act out however he wanted because it wasn't like any of it would matter anyway, right? Paul can survive anything. He's invincible.

Right?

John did love Paul, I believe that. I think he loved Paul deeply and sincerely. I think if he actually understood what Paul was thinking and feeling then John would have changed tactics immediately or even stopped what he was doing. But John's drug usage, years of slights and disrespect from Paul, being unable to visualize consequences, and immaturity caused him to act out in a childish way. He stopped listening to Paul and started listening to his resentments and grudges. Lashing out at Paul was the only outlet he had and John didn't know how to do anything else. He had no incentive to learn otherwise and grow up, deal with Paul on adult terms.

Funnily enough I think it's actually losing George that finally set something into motion inside John. Like, George cut John off, an extremely big deal. In my neck of the woods its called "severing" and its probably the most difficult thing you can possibly do with any sort of relationship. George ignored John; he cut John out of his autobiography; he stopped talking to John; he did not mention him in public. He knew this was the most brutal punishment he could devise for John Lennon and it worked. John wrote "lost" by George's name in the word association game. John went too far bitching about Bob Dylan and not apologizing for hanging George out to dry. George had enough and did the right thing. He severed his relationship with John because John was toxic and dragged George down. Of all the people in John's life, George is the one who willingly served consequences to John when he was surrounded by enablers and errand boys.

That, more than anything, seems to be what set John on the back foot. I sincerely believe that George cutting him off forced John to do some introspection and that is part of what he was doing in the Dakota after Sean was born. Asking himself what he did to make George cut him off; and then John slowly started to grow and mature again. Because you see, George provided what Paul couldn't: he gave John adversity to meet, which forced John to grow as a person. And so we got the song "Woman" which is not just about the women in John's life but is also a letter to all the people he hurt with his thoughtlessness and immaturity, where he finally starts taking responsibility for his actions:

I can hardly express, My mixed emotion at my thoughtlessness, After all I'm forever in your debt,

I will try to express, My inner feelings and thankfulness, For showing me the meaning of success,

hold me close to your heart, However distant don't keep us apart, After all it is written in the stars,

please let me explain, I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain, So let me tell you again and again and again,

It's on par with "Ticket to Ride" and "I Know, I Know" in John showing introspection and discussing his own flaws. Something that he notably was not doing during his peak "fuck you Paul" era.

John loved Paul but also resented him due to their circumstances. He wanted to hurt Paul but didn't think he could actually do so because his mental aesthetic of Paul was so viciously distorted. He dehumanized Paul by putting him on a pedestal, made him an object John could degrade at a moment's notice to make himself feel better. You can do that to objects without consequences; when you do it to people, you get pushback.

Losing George and Paul keeping him at a distance for years is what made John finally realize that he had hurt them and that he could hurt them to the point that he would never see them again. It took years of self examination for John to come to this realization which indicates how disordered and muddy his thinking was.

[tyttamarzh]

Just some late night thoughts.

For some reason January 21 is a special day in many ways for Missa Cubito…

21 de enero de 2023

Missa death in MCExtremo. In that series he had great character development, at first he was just a scared baby who didn't know the world, everyone had to take care of him, because with the slightest carelessness he would die (literally, they were distracted for a second and Missa looked at an ender and died, because he "did not know what it was"). He spent the first few days very scared, locked up at home, until after dying and reviving due to a bug, he decided that it was time to live that life to the fullest and decided to leave his crib and go out to face danger. He learned to fight being trained by none other than Spreen and Shadoune, learned to water bucket clutch with Rubius and became brave when facing mobs (sometimes recklessly). His new way of approaching life scared Q (it even cost him a life to him to this one) but for Missa it was very effective, because after losing practically 3 lives in 2 days being a scared guy, he managed to survive until day 5 with his brave attitude (even if he survived that day, he was able to reach the final) he was so full of confidence when fighting and decided that now that he was no longer the smallest of the team he was going to protect his friends, especially Q, who was the fearful one of the group now… and that's how he took too many risks and ended up dying, being something very shocking not only for his team but for everyone in the series and for the viewers, really, Twitter was flooded with fanarts and people crying about his death (even Missa said that an aunt called him because she thought something had happened in the real life).

That was very important because before that series almost no one knew Missa Cubito, he was just "the guy who died too quickly in Dedsafio" or "The funny guy who hopefully managed to get too far in siqud craft games". But in those 5 days (5 days of consecutive streams, it was heaven for the missaurios), he won over the internet with the story of his growth and death (Even today people say that the best thing about that series was having the "team vacio legal" and Missa was the heart of that team). I think that was the moment when Missa cubito separated from Missa Youtuber and became her own character.

But that was a sad day, because that day Missa Cubito lost the first family he had found.

This was the moment he died, fighting like a warrior:

January 21, 2024

Llegamos al día de hoy.

Missa wakes up in the QSMP prison and reunites with his family, it was the first time that Missa, Philza and Chayanne were together at the same time since April. Not only that, but he now officially adopts Tallulah as his daughter. Despite the adverse circumstances, his family has finally been reunited and grown (although Missa already considered Tallulah his daughter, now it is official and she calls him dad).

Despite being another universe, Missa is still the kind boy who wins everyone's hearts. Missa behaved politely with the guards, being mannerly when referring to them by saying "please and thank you" and greeting everyone very kindly.

He was very nice with the eggs, even with the ones he didn't know, and he refused to hit Dapper even though he was hitting him, Missa just said: "I'm never going to hit you or do anything to hurt you."

Missa was very happy to spend time with Phil, when he spent a long time losing sight of him, he would ask where he was and look for him.

The moment of the kiss (or the kisses) was something WTF I really didn't think that one day they would kiss and definitely I imagined many scenaries, but in no way I believed it would be that way, but that's what makes it special. They are not an ordinary couple, whether platonic or whatever they called it, whatever they have is special and I guess that was a special way for it to happen. Phil probably would never have dared to ask him to kiss him in another context and that's fine, because it seems like that would be the only way for it to happen (even if they both wanted it, I don't think it would have happened in another context).

It is worth mentioning that the moments of Philza being jealous and him reaffirming that he was married and being loyal to him was something I really didn't expect. After so much time apart, they still have that unique dynamic.

The day in prison was filled with so many things, but I can say that for the first time in a long time, Missa felt fully loved, not only by being with his children and his husband, but also by all those friendly interactions he was with others and that he could not have before on the island, because the first days he was extremely shy and did not separate himself from Roier and the friends he knew and after he only connected sporadically, meeting Foolish, BBH and rarely Philza.

Something curious that Missa Himself mentioned was that the previous times he was with Phil it was more of "ohh I miss you" but they didn't amount to anything more and today he was very happy because they were able to hang out together and do more things bonding with his family.

When he and Chay freed the turtle it was adorable, then the 4 of them doing the tasks, that was a unique moment and he was very happy singing for his family (being so nervous that he forgot the words to his own songs).

His bond with Phil strengthened and they didn't have to do much, that simple moment of the two of them talking about tacos and memes was something very cozy that they needed to do a long time ago. Just as the moment when they took the children for a walk with the llamas was something so sweet for this family that they almost forgot that they were in a prison, because it seemed more like a picnic in the park.

It really was a great advance, probably what happened today will help Missa a lot to grow and leave his self-esteem problems behind. He is important, he is loved and he is useful to his family.

Missa was a trend today, as it was last year, but the big difference is that this was a happy day because somehow, today he got his family back, that big family that he hadn't had in a long time and that he wanted so much and deserved.

The parallel of how he left today:

He is happy, laughing with his husband and children :')

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Prompt: "You know what I've never understood?" "Oh, is it philosophy hour with [Name]?" "Not really... I just don't get how Santa could possibly know what children in the entire world are good or bad but would need to be told what kids want. Kids aren't exactly... quiet about their desires."

Pairing: Sebek Zigvolt x Gn!Reader/Prefect/Yuu

Genre: Fluff, Slight crack

TW: NA

It was a cold, silent night. Snow covered the ground like an oversized blanket, glittering under the soft silver light of the moon. Not a single critter made a noise, every soul fast asleep under the watchful and twinkling stars...

"THAT'S TOO MUCH FOOD COLORING, ACE!"

Well, almost every soul.

In the cozy warmth of the Ramshackle kitchen stood the six friends of the Ramshackle Prefect, decorating sugar cookies that they had baked earlier.

"It's fine," Ace dismissed Deuce's wide-eyed horror and Sebek's seething at the amount of food coloring he had dropped into the icing. It was an accident, but Ace was trying to play it off as an intentional action, mixing the red food coloring with a little tune on his lips.

Epel, Jack and Ortho worked together on their share of the cookies, icing them precisely and perfectly to look like little Christmas trees, while you stood at the stove, making hot chocolate for all of you to share.

"Isn't having too much food coloring bad?" Deuce asked, eyeing the way Sebek seemed to turn red with indignation at being ignored by Ace.

"Most food dyes do not cause any adverse effects, Deuce Spade-kun" Ortho answered, "though it is advised by medical professionals not to consume too much of them."

"This isn't too much. Besides, with the white icing, it'll balance out. Relax," Ace rolled his eyes.

Epel smiled as he continued decorating the cookies, while Jack helped him out silently.

The next few minutes were spent in relative peace. Mindful of the late hour, you all tried to keep your volumes down as you worked in the kitchen.

"You know what I've never understood about Christmas?" Deuce started, effectively getting everyone's attention. "Oh, is it philosophy hour with Deuce?" Jack huffed in amusement, used to Deuce's habit of asking questions that could put one in an existential crises due to their being clubmates.

"Not really... I just don't get how Santa could possibly know what children in the entire world are good or bad but would need to be told what kids want," Deuce said as he looked at the cookie he was decorating to look like a candy-cane. "Kids aren't exactly... quiet about their desires."

A silence descended onto the kitchen, as every first year looked at the blue haired boy in varying degrees of amusement, disbelief and curiosity.

"Uh, Deuce... you do know that Santa isn't real, right?" Epel asked kindly, his tone a stark contrast to the mischievous glint in his eyes as he looked at the taller boy. Deuce flushed and sputtered, "O-Of course I know! It's just-!"

Ace, ever the nuisance, jumped at the chance. "Aw, did little Deucey believe in good ol' Saint Nick all this time?" He teased. "How cute."

"That's not true!"

"There's no need to be embarrassed Deuce Spade-kun. Many young children believe in the myth of Santa Claus," Ortho tried to reassure him, but even he couldn't hide the slight amusement in his tone.

"Little Deucey, did you send your letter to the North Pole this year?" Ace laughed, poking Deuce in the side. "I hope you've been good this year. Wouldn't want you to end up on the naughty list, would you? That'd be bad for your goody two shoes record."

"Ace, you little-" Deuce began to chase the other boy around the kitchen, face flushed red with embarassment. The ginger-haired menace laughed as he weaved his way between the appliances and the people in the kitchen, using them as shields and obstacles to slow down the other boy.

He poked his tongue out at Deuce, slipping away through the kitchen door to the hallway. Deuce narrowed his eyes as he ran after him out of the kitchen, cookies and decorating forgotten.

"I'll go make sure they don't end up killing each other," Jack said, shaking his head as he followed after them. Epel skipped behind him, pulling along Ortho to see the entertaining show.

"Sebek, can you get me some cups from that cabinet over there?" You asked the only person remaining in the room. Sebek hummed in acknowledgement, getting out seven cups and placing them in front of you.

Preoccupied with pouring the steaming hot chocolate into seven cups, you missed the conflicted expression on Sebek's face. As you decorated the beverage with marshmallows and whipped cream according to each one's preferences, sounds of the boys rough-housing in the next room had you smiling in fond exasperation.

"Here, this one's yours," you said, handing Sebek his drink. Sebek thanked you, voice low and expression uncharacteristically serious. You poked his forehead with a finger, smiling as he startled and looked at you with a confused look on his face.

"You're going to end up getting wrinkles way early if you scowl that much," you teased him, leaning against the counter as you spoke. "What are you thinking about so intently anyways?"

"It is not a matter of much importance, human."

"You're blushing though."

"I-I am not!" Sebek protested. His cheeks did nothing to help his case, turning even darker instead. You raised your arms in surrender, as you chuckled at his flustered state. "Fine, fine."

You started gathering up the bowls and spoons that had been used, placing them in the dishwasher to be cleaned. Your work was done in peaceful silence, and Sebek helped with what he could, ever the gentleman.

As you wiped your hands on a towel, he spoke.

"About what Deuce said, earlier..."

"Hm?"

"That is something... I have previously wondered as well... Not that I don't know that Santa Claus is a myth made for young children!" Sebek looked everywhere but at you, evidently embarrassed by his admission. "As Malleus-sama's guard, I cannot be misled by such childish and whimsical stories, of course! I-"

"You believed in Santa Claus too?" You asked, watching in amusement as the colour in his cheeks seemed to explode, climbing up his ears as well. "I JUST SAID I DIDN'T HUMAN, WHAT-"

"I think that's cute."

Sebek stopped, eyes wide as he stared at you. You continued, "It shows that you're innocent and pure-hearted. It's really cute." Sebek looked away and took a sip of his hot chocolate, wincing when he burned his tongue by drinking too fast. Before you could tease him any further, Ace called out, "If yall are done being sappy and disgusting, save me! Wait, shit-"

The sounds coming from the other room grew louder, taking your attention off of Sebek, allowing him to regain his composure somewhat. Deuce must have finally gotten hold of Ace, considering the loud and whiny complaints that could be heard. You turned back to Sebek, shaking your head. "Wanna save Ace from the fate that he oh so rightfully deserves?"

"I would rather have him bear the consequences of his actions," Sebek smiled, as Ace wailed in protest.

Back to Masterlist...

[bots-and-cons]

TFP bots of your choice reacting to an earthborn bot. This would have some interesting implications given the fact they would likely, like humanity, be considered an 'offspring' or 'spawn' of Unicron or at least have a connection to him due to being earthborn. They also likely wouldn't have any idea of cybertron or cybertronian history and would be one of the youngest bots, probably younger than even bumble bee. All of this is wildly interesting conceptually to me.

This is an interesting idea, I’ll give you that. Idk if I executed this very well though, and I don’t remember all the details of the episodes I set this in. These ended up pretty damn long for HCs, but I don’t think you guys will mind. I’ll try to do a part 2 to this later, there’s probably gonna be more interactions with the bots in that one

•Unicron made you or you were born of him at least, you’re not really sure yourself

•You’re still young and you don’t know about anything the life outside unicron

•You were born in the earth’s core so you’ve always lived inside unicron 

•The dark energon doesn’t affect you like it does cybertronians, since it’s all you’ve ever had in your body, it’s just normal to you

•If you were to use normal energon though, that might have some adverse effects

•Those flying things that work as unicron’s defense system, are also protective of you, because they consider you to be a part of him

•But when they suddenly start acting strange and all heading in the same direction, you decide to follow them

•You always thought there wasn’t anyone like you, because you’d never seen anyone else and you had no idea a place like Cybertron even existed

•So when you see a group of five robots walking around on one of the bridges, with the flying creatures attacking them

•You keep an eye on them, following the group as they advance towards the core

•You’re very interested in where these fellow robots could’ve come from, there must be another place, a place with others like you

•So you followed them and when they got to the door of the core chamber the yellow one noticed you while he was looking around

•He didn’t shoot at you, but he alerted the others to your presence

•You were too curious about them to try to get away, because you wanted to go with them, you wanted to see what else was out there

•Maybe they would take you with them?

•Bee was obviously pretty spooked to see another cybertronian in a place where it was supposed to be impossible

•You didn’t seem to be affected by the dark energon either, even though you looked younger than him and smaller too

•You slowly came out from behind a pillar and approached the group

•They were all shocked to see you and when they noticed you had purple optics everyone but Megatron was on guard

•He doesn’t think you could possibly be a threat, you look small and weak

•You’re actually much stronger than the average cybertronian due to the dark energon, but you’ve never had a point of comparison so you wouldn’t know that

•Arcee was probably the most on guard, because she figured you were another unicron manifestation or something

•You want to ask them so many things, but the flying guard creatures don’t leave them alone, so you command them to do so, which they do even if hesitantly

•You’re not exactly into the idea that they’re going to hurt your creator, but you’re also very keen on getting to whatever else is out there

•Optimus approaches you first, asking if you’re okay

•You look at him a bit weirdly and tell him “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

•You talk in cybertronian instead of english, since that’s what unicron knew and what you know too

•They can all understand you of course, but you also speak sort of weirdly and in an old-ish way compared to how they would speak cybertronian

•You’re not going to be able to hold back the guards forever, you can already feel them resisting, trying to break free

•So the consensus amongst the autobots is something like “what in the name of primus is this?”

•Megatron doesn’t really care, he just wants to get the job done and get unicron back to stasis

•You don’t even know where to start with your questions, but the situation changes and unicron takes control of the guards and the fighting continues

•You eventually end up following the remaining autobots through a whirling hole in space, after the two bigger mechs disappear through the same kind of portal

•You’re in some other place now, surrounded by the robots that are all now pointing their blasters at you

•And there are some weird looking little creatures on a platform next to you

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Hello there ! I thought about this while watching across the spiderverse : what if Miguel s/o's (also a spider-person) decides to help Miles behind Miguel's back without him knowing ? But he ends up realizing it when he sees his s/o alongside Miles back on earth 1610. The reason his s/o did that is because they believes there has to be a way to save Miles' dad while protecting the balance of the Multiverse.

Is it possible for you to write something with this scenario ?

Thank you in advance and, also, thank you for your beautiful writtings ❤

Ooooh very interesting but I could only write a short bit to keep it in line with the movie. It happens when Miguel traps Miles and I thought if he had to deal with heartbreak there, it would lead to more angst. Hope you like it!

The adverse effect was, I cried 😭

Don't make me choose

Word count: 800

Part 2>>

You stood in the middle. It was almost like this was another one of your canon events. To choose between doing what is right and the one you love.

Chaos swirled around, all the members who had gathered around you in Miguel’s lab were in an uproar, everyone trying their best to convince this teen boy that he had to accept his fate, that he was about to lose his father.

The spiderverse spread out around you, highlighting the common connection, the sacred thread you do not mess with but all you could focus on was the fear in Miles’s eyes. The poor kid was terrified and yet no one was paying any heed to it. You turned to see the one who meant everything to you.

He stood there, in the middle of it all with his hands resting on his hips, his shoulders slumped from exhaustion but you saw through him like no one else could. If everyone missed the panic that Miles was in, they also missed out on the tears glistening in Miguel’s eyes. Because you knew, you knew how deep he felt the pain of losing someone and yet standing in this position of leadership with his hands tied, he was going to deal this situation with a firm hand.

“You know this is the only way.”, he spoke to you, his eyes pinned on your every move as though he could tell that he was losing you in this mess.

But there had to be a way out. You can’t just let someone die because it was stated by an algorithm, if there was any chance to save Miles’s father, then you were going to take it.

You heard your name be called with authority as you took a step away from Miguel. He was ordering you back, to be by his side. But with the second step, there was fear in his voice and then there was only pain as you slipped further away.

“How can we just let someone die? When we all wear the mantle of a hero?”, you asked, the crowd falling silent to your question. You placed your hand on Miles’s shoulder and he gave you a relieved smile.

“But that is how it is.”, Miguel yelled and you turned to face him.

“The whole fate of the multiverse resides on this one event.”, he furrowed his brows, frustrated and stressed at the same time.

“And I stand to lose everything I’ve built.”, anger flashed across his face as he towered over you.

“I could lose everything.”, now his gaze was fixed on you as he said the words, his tone a little softer, a little broken.

“But Miguel,”, you reached out to place your hand on his chest, to calm him down, to get him to listen to you.

“what if there is another way?”, you pleaded with him. Tears threatening to fall.

“There is no other way.”, he broke free from your hold as he shook his head, his eyes fluctuating between his hazel brown to blood red. You waited for him to see sense but it was too late.

“LYLA lock him up.”, was the command you heard when you felt his grasp tighten around your wrist, pulling you to his side and away from Miles, who was now stuck in a red cell.

“Don’t do this to me.”, he spoke fast in hushed tones but that was because he was about to break.

“Don’t make me choose.”, he pulled you close, with the way he was lowering himself, it was almost as if he was on his knees.

“Miguel just listen to me.”, you were trying to contend with him as the situation around you got out of hand.

But instead he held your face in his hands to get your focus to just be on him, almost like he was at his wits end, pleading you to stay out of it

“This once, just this once turn a blind eye.”, his face contorted in anguish, his attention only on you, his eyes hoping to catch your compliance.

“You know I can’t.”, you felt the tear escape your eye and he bit down on his lower lip, his eyes closing for a second in defeat.

“I’m sorry Miguel.”, you leaned forward to kiss his forehead and break away from his hold as you generated an anomaly cell around him, trapping him within it and your heart broke when you saw the shock in his eyes as he registered what had happened.

Miles broke free from his cell with Hobie’s help and your focus turned to him as he waited for you, unsure if you were going to join him.

The second passed by slowly, as you took off running with him and you threw a glance over your shoulder.

You watched in slow motion as Miguel unleashed all his fury against the red cell walls, his claws scratching away at it but it was the way he screamed your name that made your eyes blur with tears, you couldn’t help but witness the utter devastation in his eyes and the wet stains that marked the sides of his face.

[alex-wolfdragon]

So I had a dream recently that was literally an MCU DC crossover. Which is funny to me since I'm a casual fan of MCU and selective fan for DC.

Anyway, the dream kinda makes me wanna do a fanfic even though I have no idea how it'd work. Here's the dream to give you the general idea. I'm gonna replace myself with the OC.

OC is friends with both Peter Parker and Miles Morales, all three being the same age and in college together. She knows they're both Spider-man, and they have no issue interacting with her even while wearing the mask. The three attend a campus, which I presume accepts both supers and "normies" based on context of the dream, but whether you reveal your civilian identity is up to you.

In this case, both Peter and Miles don't want others to know. So when they were in their suits, without their masks, while they were hanging outside by a picnic table, OC exclaims, lightheartedly, "You dumbasses! We're outside, not in the dorms. Put your masks back on!" They panic, adorably, realizing they instinctively took off their masks and were quick to put them back on.

This is when Bruce Wayne approaches us. Although it's not very clear why he's at the college. I presume either to tour the campus, as he sponsors it and wants to see what he wants to add or change, or he's visiting some of the Robins who also attend.

Anyway, he says something to the guys and then goes to leave. OC, with a notebook in hand, rises from her seat on the ground and calls out, "Wait, Bruce! Can I talk to you?" He agrees and has OC walk with him. And no, I don't know why he's chill with her calling him by his first name. Nor do I know if she's aware he's Batman.

As they're walking across campus, she explains that she was going to share her project as her senior thesis in hopes of gaining funding, but since he's here, she thought she'd take the chance of getting it sooner. Interested, he prompts her to tell him.

OC says that she found out that everyone has the X-gene, but some are dominant while others are recessive. "Those with the dominant gene are mutants." As she says that line, she waves at Wolverine and Nightcrawler, who are in costume across the hall, chatting. They wave back. "Those with the recessive gene are "normies."" Bruce hums and says that it makes sense and is a good find, but doesn't require further funding if she already managed to prove it.

She denies, excitedly stating, "That's not my discovery though! I found out how to turn the recessive gene into a dominant one without pain or adverse side effects! I can make everyone a mutant!" Bruce is stunned before smiling and grabbing her shoulders. He tells her that if she's right, and it works, the discord between "normies" and mutants could end.

This is the point where I wake up. I have no idea how accurate any of this could be personality wise (specifically for Bruce). Nor do I know which direction this would go. At most, I think the love interests would be the spidies and maybe some of the robins. Could even lead to poly, who knows. Regardless, I don't know if it'd be a good idea, but I figured it was interesting enough to share.

[gacha99]

I did the Shamane event and I have to say his story is really gut wrenching T_T Even though it was super depressing, I found it be a really cool story nonetheless. I feel like Shamane's story is one about acceptance and moving on, as well as how to relearn your empathy for others after they've hurt you, or after your empathy has led you down the "wrong path".

His family situation is complicated, because he's constantly dealing with this inner turmoil and guilt over what happened because he feels like he was way too flippant about his families warnings against humans, and their need to stay away from humans all together. He feels that he is the one to blame for what happened to his family, even though it was humans that did that awful crime at the behest of Manus Vindictae.

Even when he's in that nightmare, he's looking for someone else to blame or someone else to point the finger at besides himself, which is why his mind keeps conjuring up Kumar even though he knows she wasn't even there that day.

But in actuality the only one to blame is the Manus, not Kumar or Shamane, or even Shamane's empathetic nature towards all things human or arcanist.

During the time we see him with the shaman, Shamane is trying to learn from this wizened old man who has made a place for himself in the wilderness. He respects and knows all of the rules of the place he's in, and he doesn't try to take claim over the land or food. When a sheep of his own gets captured by wolves, he stops Shamane from even helping because in his own words "No life should belong to me".

In a sense, he has learned how to adapt to the environment he's in and he respects the rules of the critters and animals in the forest, just as they respect him. To me, the old shaman that Shamane meets is a representation of the struggle that Mor Panhk faces with its Human and Arcanist community.

Unlike how Shamane learns from the shaman in the woods how to live peacefully among and with the nature around him, humans in this world cannot seem to trust or tolerate arcanists even if they "act civilly" (Hell, i'd even say Toothfairies story event was a prime example of how humans will never really respect or care for Arcanists even if their family is influential or rich) We never really learn the full extent of why those human friends of Shamane essentially betrayed him and decided to burn their tree down, but that lack of empathy towards Arcanists is what the Manus used to their advantage to have the tree burned in the first place.

I also think that the act of what the humans did and what the manus ordered them to do had such an effect on Shamane's family that it didn't allow for them to even love each other in that adversity.

The lack of empathy for others is ultimately the thing that led them to this path, not the other way around. And that's what Shamane learns from the shaman, and why he spends so much time learning how to live with the environment around him. Because he learns that everything around him is impacted by his own choices, and he has to try and walk in the shoes of a critter or a wolf to understand why they do what they do, rather than view them as monsters to be destroyed.

And even when his empathy for other creatures lands him hurt and injured once more, it doesn't matter because he still cares in the end and tries to help even a small little carbuncle. Shamane decides to offer up the empathy his family was never offered by humans, rather than let the actions of them ruin his own image of the world around him.

It's not really a story about forgiveness, but about how to heal and become a better person after you've faced a terrible action done toward you.

Anyways if I don't get him im gonna be so sad </3

[strawberrylollipop26-blog-blog]

Movie/Show Round UP

I haven't done one of these in awhile. As always, my thoughts are short and to the point. I don't go in depth. I'm not a professional reviewer, just my thoughts.

Under the cut there are reviews for Fly Me to the Moon, Inside/Out 2, Despicable Me 4, A Quiet Place: Day One, Dune Part 2, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Bad Boys: Ride or Die, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, The Fall Guy, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, Civil War, Madame Web, Argylle, Abigail and The Bikeriders. TV shows: Legend of Fei and Halloween Baking Championship.

Fly Me to the Moon: I saw this movie during a three show day at the theater. It was the middle movie and the biggest question mark. Turns out, the whole 'did they or didn't they' land on the moon theory was actually interesting. While I have zero interest in a rewatch, definitely worth attempting for first time viewers.

Inside/Out 2: This movie was exactly the same as the first. There's nothing new here except for possibly children experiencing new emotions. As an adult, I was bored.

Despicable Me 4: Cute. This film added nothing.

A Quiet Place: Day One: I thought it was nicely done. Still, didn't knock my socks off like the first one. My spouse wanted to know exactly how people learned to be quiet. I tried to tell him that they showed it in the second movie. He wanted more of a show. He was also annoyed that we know nothing about the aliens and it's the third movie. Slight spoiler, I wish we didn't know something about a certain character because it would've made the ending decision so much more impactful.

Dune: Part 2: Well, he tried to warn them about what would happen. I like the action that happens even though it all folds into a pretty box.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire: I barely remember this movie. It was sort of reminiscent of the previous one. A typical unite to defeat the super evil blah blah blah.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes: Disturbing T!k T0ks regarding the leads aside, this movie was enjoyable. Although, I had no idea a new movie series was starting. There were quite the few holes left so I'd see the second one.

Bad Boys: Ride or Die: I saw this before the previous one so I was quite confused in certain parts. All in all it was enjoyable. There are some funny moments. I've had the urge to watch again.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire: I haven't seen this in awhile. From what I remember there's a side character hero in here that's pretty funny. Pretty textbook, you know what's going to happen before it does.

The Fall Guy: I've heard people talking about this one and disliking it. I thought the whole purpose was to have an outrageous fun movie showing crazy stunts the doubles do. Is it the best movie? No, but if you like action it's worth a watch.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga: I'm an action girl. I highly valued the first Mad Max. This movie is obviously character based therefore slower to catch the stages of development (it's even told in chapters). I was bored. All the story shows in the normal character faced adversity, lived a hard life, finally goes for their revenge. Zero interest in a rewatch. I'll turn on the first one again.

Civil War: A weird movie full of numerous holes. A waste of my time.

Madame Web: I thought it was okay even though this movie was review bombed. There's nothing special about it, but it's not the worst movie that people complained about. Then again, to each their own.

Argylle: Another movie that was review bombed. I also guessed the likely story in this one. I think this movie suffers mostly from trying to be too many things. It goes for serious, yet wild and fun, yet logical. I think if the movie with the effects stayed 'out there' then people would've found it more enjoyable. Maybe.

Sidenote: My husband is always surprised that me (comedy hater) loves Rat Race and Joe Dirt. My response is always the same. Both movies are unapologetically insane. They don't take themselves seriously at all. I think Argylle should've done this as they had moments before deciding to become a serious spy movie.

The Bikeriders: First of all there's a narrator to this movie. Threw me off a bit at first, I normally don't watch those type of movies because i feel it leaves off clues. The movie's okay. Practically a drama in a bikerider setting. There isn't much mystery so another one that's easy to read.

Abigail: I enjoyed this movie until the ending. Not much I can say without spoiling.

Legend of Fei: I finally finished this show. Took me forever as it has good episodes, and others I cared less for (admittedly skipped scenes). Some characters were so annoying. Thankfully, Fei stopped passing out which was killing me. Xie Yun is my absolute fave. I might be biased, but all his scenes were so much fun except for the ones where he's sick :( . I've read reviews where people say they can watch this repeatedly, I'm not one of them. One and done. Sort of reminded me of WoH main storyline.

Sidenote: I love the one scene where he's reminiscing the past in his dreams and he no longer has money. The way this man kept opening up his pouch and dumping it over to make sure there were no coins. So relatable in my younger days.

Halloween Baking Championship: An era has come to an end or at least caught up in the seasons. I really like this cooking show. I hope people have some out of the box creations in the new year coming up.