#it gets to me sometimes. parasocial relationships fucking suck.

[tillman]

i mean also the fact every fandom ive ever been in eventually starts treating me the exact same and i dont fucking know why and it pisses me off so bad.

[ariaste]

listen ok so i made some good jokes yesterday about Lestat having an onlyfans but i am back today with a new essay and this one is entitled

Why The Invention Of Social Media Is Going to Permanently Save Loustat's Fucking Marriage

come on this journey with me.

ok so on one hand we have Louis, who does not like to leave the house except when he absolutely fucking has to and even then he resents it. my man wants to be at home with a book 100% of the time and he's so fucking valid for that. When he leaves the house, bad things happen to him. He has learned this and honestly i can't fault his evidence. it sucks out there. it truly incredibly sucks out there.

the problem is that sometimes he is married to lestat, who starts clawing at the walls if people aren't paying attention to him for 12 consecutive seconds, and being Out Of The House is the best place for him to go foraging for People To Pay Attention To Him. my man once had a rock star career the way that some people get addicted to meth brewed in a trashcan in someone's garage. Louis, through no fault of his own, is simply not capable of filling this psychological need no matter how hard he tries, except he should not even HAVE to try like that, because no one can do it, because Lestat is fucked up and like wasn't hugged enough as a child or something

this imbalance in their relationship is the core source of all their marital problems since day 1: THIS man's idea of a good time is chilling on the sofa in silence and maybe staring contemplatively at the wall for a while, and THIS man starts self-destructing at a truly astonishing rate if no one is making eye contact with him. If you make Louis go outside and socialize with people, he's miserable and sulking and whining about "are we done can we go home". If you make Lestat sit in silence in a chair for five minutes he starts crying and claiming that No One Has Ever Loved Him, Ever, Ever, And No One Understands Him, And He Hates Everyone In This House and He Is Being Actively Neglected And Cruelly Mistreated Right Now And No One Even Bothers To Feel Sorry For Him, This Is BASICALLY Domestic Violence Against Him Personally, If Only Anyone Knew About The Quiet Hidden Tragedies Of An Unhappy Marriage, and then he breaks some furniture and a window and isn't seen again for six weeks and comes back like "you will not believe what just happened, i [checks notes] met Merlin and also a dragon who gave me three wishes, brb i'm going to write another book about it :))))"

all you fucking have to do to fix their problems is to hand Lestat a cellphone and say the words "do you know about social media? you can say whatever shit you want and there's always someone awake in some time zone to talk to you." Suddenly Lestat is now very interested in sitting quietly on the couch, Lounging Alluringly and posting thirst traps on instagram and finally getting emotional fulfillment from all the likes and comments of "omg???? omg this is the hottest man alive". he does not have to leave the house anymore to get his attention meth. His yawning abyss of neediness is being fulfilled by having parasocial relationships with millions of strangers online who all think he's sexy and don't have to experience how fucking awful he is up close. he can flirt pointlessly with 200 people at once which is FINALLY ENOUGH FLIRTATIONS FOR HIM TO SATISFACTORILY JUGGLE

Meanwhile Louis is 3 feet away, vaguely reflecting to himself that HE is feeling all emotionally fulfilled because they're spending this great Quality Time together in perfect silence while he reads his book and Lestat plays on his cellular telephone and only OCCASIONALLY giggles to himself or says "louis which of these photos do you think is sexier, the one with four buttons undone or the one with five buttons undone" Louis is feeling like his Opinion is being Valued, Louis feels like he is being Consulted on Matters that are Important To Lestat. He has opinions about the photographs. It is not that much trouble to be interrupted from staring philosophically at the wall to spend five seconds looking at a photograph and then saying "that one". Finally he is experiencing Cozy Domesticity. he is so horny about it. lestat is surprised and bewildered about the sudden sharp increase in the amount of sex he is now getting but before he can make any vaguely mean comments about it (bc he's confused and vaguely defensive and worried that it's going to stop out of nowhere and he doesn't know any other interpersonal skills for expressing a thought) his phone pings about how he's just broken 5 million followers on instagram and he totally forgets to even mention the sex thing, which means that he continues getting the sex instead of inciting an argument about the sex and going through his 800th divorce from Louis

all their friends are extremely confused when a whole month, and then six months, and then a year goes by without another Loud Divorce happening and no one crashing through their front door like "I HAVE TO SLEEP IN YOUR GUEST COFFIN FOR THE NEXT MONTH, HE IS INTOLERABLE". They are worried. they are concerned. what is going on over there. are they both dead. no, they can't both be dead, Lestat just posted another tiktok of him sucking on his own fingers, which he would not be doing if Louis were dead. there is an ecosystem collapse happening in the groupchat and it's because the main Drama Vectors have been neutralized

[vaspider]

Look. A little advice.

Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.

You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.

But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'

You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)

The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'

That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:

Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.

Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.

If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.

Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.

Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.

You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.

[bboricha]

we did... what in your mind?!

➳ wc: ~600 ➳ pairings: pervert streamer!kaedehara kazuha x mind reader afab!reader ➳ cw: shibari, one (1) hickey, pet name (my love), praise kink if u squint ➳ kabukicho bad trip: 5wirl edition masterlist

synopsis: you're in lit class with one of the most famous people at your university, kaedehara kazuha, a streamer. you happen to be bored and ran out of things to do, letting your eyes wander around the room and you end up meeting kazuha's, getting a glimpse into his mind.

you're sitting in class, zoning out to the droning voice of your professor, going on about Chaucer or Conrad or something—you're not sure, you don't really care. heart...darkness...canterbury... it's whatever, it's not important.

you've already run out of things to do on your laptop too. solitaire? you're tired of it. tetris? you might rage even if it isn't a rage kind of game. amazon? you're too broke. you huff out a frustrated breath, opting to look around the class instead, to maybe daydream, or maybe listen to what others have to say. in their minds, you mean.

yes, you'd rather not listen to other people's thoughts because you know how creepy it would be if they knew, because you know, you just want to respect their privacy. but sometimes you genuinely can't help it if you happen to make eye contact with them—that’s what triggers it after all. it’s kind of hard though to keep your eyes cast down all the time because you also try to make an effort to seem like a normal, sociable person. it just gets awkward sometimes when you're speaking and they start thinking of a lunch menu instead.

your eyes wander over to kaedehara kazuha—a popular streamer known for his parasocial relationships with his fans that happen because he's apparently genuinely nice. not that it matters, but his existence in your class has been a bit of a nuisance to say the least. at the start of the semester, people used to flock around your class at the beginning and the end in hopes of snapping a photo of him. you understand why, he's very attractive pretty and famous, who wouldn't want a picture of an internet celebrity? a lot of people actually, but it doesn't too much anymore because apparently he asked on stream for people to stop it and to your surprise, they actually listened (lol). 

it was then his eyes met yours and you flinch, a barrage of obscene images flooding your head.

”you actually like being tied up, don’t you?” kazuha asks, the breath of his voice hits your ear as he tugs on the binds around your body, pulling you towards him. the red rope digs into your skin, the sting complementing the way his fat cock drags inside your walls. he sucks a mark onto the crook of your neck, promptly pushing you back into his pillows as he takes hold of your hips, spreading you apart as he pulls out, leaving just the tip in.

“you’re sucking me in so… much,” he groans, slowly thrusting back inch by inch, making you whine against his sheets begging for him to go faster. “patience is a virtue, my love.”

he bottoms out, grinding on you when he tugs at the rope again, tears falling from your eyes as a result. he takes notice of this, caging you with his frame as he leans in, the angle of his cock seemingly hitting you even deeper than before (if it was even possible), and he wipes the tears from your eyes.

“just a bit more, alright? you’re doing so well,”

you gasp, averting your eyes and immediately slapping a hand over your mouth to prevent any more unprompted noises. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?? you think, entirely unsure how to process this sudden surge of information. you cautiously look back up towards kazuha’s direction against your better judgment, almost flinching for a second time when you notice his stare. he mouths a “are you ok,” his thoughts reading as genuinely concerned so you vehemently nod your head and he smiles in return. you can feel your cheeks heating up as you place your arm on the desk, resting your chin on your hand and returning your attention to your computer that was left open on a new tab.

➳ an: foaming at the mouth i love ooc kazuha where there's more than meets the eye with him oh god

[kanri-domo]

I have a few ideas to spew then, if you're ok with them — but they're all dottore related

imagine being infatuated with akademiya Zandik, watching him in class; staring at him as you fantasize about taking what should be yours, zoning out to the idea of pounding his hole untill he ends up liking it ❤️

either that, or, sth I think about a lot — cannibalizing omega build Dottore, for some reason.

Just.. auuh

Lmao I'm so sorry it took this long for me to answer >3> This somehow ended up more as a yandere piece more anything haha... I hope you like it

Characters: Il Dottore/Zandik, NB! Reader, can be read as either/or

Warnings: Yandere! Reader, Parasocial Relationship

He’s too pretty for his own good.

It’s an ugly thought, but it’s one you have quite often. With his smooth pale skin, soft blue hair, and cold red eyes, it’s pretty much agreed throughout the students of the Akademiya that despite his personality, Zandik was extremely attractive. You think it’s cute though, the way he obsesses over ruin guards like you obsess over him.

You don’t see him often, being in a different Darshan and all, but you fantasize about him enough that it doesn’t take long before you actively seek him out. You watch him in the library, hiding yourself between the bookshelves and pretending to be browsing; you watch him the hallways between the dorms, acting as if it were coincidence for you to leave the dorms at the same time; you watch him during the few times you two share classes, letting the professor’s words drown into nothingness as your brain only had thoughts for him; you watch, and you watch, and you watch. You’re lucky that Zandik seemed more interested in his research than he is in the people around him.

Your imagination is just as obsessive as you are – your dreams are filled with of bending him over, fucking him senseless in the library, muffling Zandik’s moans and whimpers with whatever you have on hand, lest you two get caught. You daydream of stuffing him full of toys and locking him with a chastity belt, ass full and horny, but unable to relieve himself as he goes about his day. Your thoughts fill with pounding him over the desks in the classroom, fucking him until he cums over and over again until he’s shaking from the oversensitivity, letting the fluids spill everywhere, as if animals marking their territory.

He probably wouldn’t be willing at first, you sometimes muse, but he was made for you, you delude yourself. If only Zandik wasn’t so into his research, you think, he’d realize that you’d would be perfect together, that you could satisfy whatever urges that he’d have and more. Not those pests that flocked towards him, all blood-sucking fleas that were only attracted to his looks, all thinking they could change him for the better.

Every time one of his fans flirted with him, you imagined punishing him for cheating on you. You imagined tying him up to a chair, stark naked. You’d pinch him nipples until they turned red and hard, and his cock was stiff and dripping with need. He’d be blindfolded and gagged, but you’d hear his whimpers and moans all the same, muffled noises of begging reluctantly being dragged out of him and tears soaking into the blindfold. You’d play with him for as long as you can, licking his balls and dragging your tongue to the tip of his cock, teasing and slow. You’d taste the tip of his cock, precum dripping out as if it were crying as well, before ignoring it entirely, abandoning it in favor of his hole. You dream of roughly fingering him for his imagined cheating, making sure to hit his prostate with each thrust, but stopping right before he cums. You’d wait a bit, letting Zandik’s muffled begging wash you over, before you start again, and repeating the process over and over again until Zandik was mush against the chair, too fucked out and needy to form coherent thoughts.

Zandik was yours, even if he didn’t know it yet. You’d make sure of it. It didn’t matter that you’d only exchanged words with him a couple of times. It didn’t matter that he probably didn’t know your name. It didn’t even matter that Zandik very likely didn’t even know you existed. You loved him for who he was, and you were the only one who could ever love him so much. Even if Zandik rejected you at first, it was because he was shy. You were the only one for him, and even if you had to work hard to make sure he knew it, Zandik would eventually love you back.

[harocat]

I find lots of people who are into Cdramas have what I can only describe as “celebrity brain”. They only really watch shows that have their fav actor, always want the character played by their fav to be the endgame romantic choice (even if it goes against character and theme), and seem to hinge their mental health on whether a show with their fav does Big Numbers. Fans of male actors tend to have misogyny problems too, but I think most people who run an account dedicated to a Chinese celeb could afford to take a step back and remember that they don’t actually know these people

Yes it's very stan culture centered. This is one of the reasons I like Cdrama tumblr better. It feels like it's more about actually enjoying the shows (and yes, sometimes the actors), then endless forced promotion, discussion of heat indexes, fan wars, etc.

People have their faves here, and they share news about them, pics of them, etc. They go out of their way to watch their dramas (or at least attempt to if they end up bad lol), and they're happy when they're successful or popular. They share info about accolades and awards.

But most don't make that their whole viewing experience. They aren't becoming keyboard warriors for some dude they don't know and will never know. They're here because they love dramas, not because they have an intense parasocial relationship with an actor or actress.

The way the Wang Yibo blackface discourse morphed from people rightfully calling him out, to the WYB super fans taking over the conversation and making it more about how antis are using it to hate on him is such a good example. Now discussion of it is rebuked with 'oh no don't give the 🐜 more fuel to hate him', and that sucks. I don't give a fuck about antis. I care that WYB did blackface in his movie, and that pisses me off!! They're over there like 'I know in my heart of hearts WYB could not be racist' as if they've ever been within the same wide vicinity of him in their entire life.

With the Dylan thing it's so wild to me because:

he is the male lead

he is the endgame romantic choice

They're pitting him against the female lead for what reason?? They're not rivals. It's giving misogyny, and the fact that they can't handle a woman standing on an equal level with him (she was first billing because she was more famous at the time, yes, but she's also just as much the lead. LBFAD is pretty balanced in that respect). She must be below; both the character and actress. She must be the less popular and important character!! We are going to restructure the narrative of Love Between Fairy and Devil in our minds so it's entirely DFQC's show.

This same person was complaining about the Xiao Lanhua being a goddess storyline because it makes her too important and makes DFQC 'pitiful' (totally out there to me; every other Cdrama fan I know eats it up when a man is pitiful). Like, people would not care about Dylan in LBFAD, and he certainly wouldn't be getting acting accolades, if he were cool all the time in it. It's the pitiful moments, the emotional moments, that make people love him.

It's not even just LBFAD though. I saw major Dylan fan accounts undermining Bai Lu and cropping her out of pics when promoting Only for Love.

I think Esther and XLH just get it worse, because let's be real, LBFAD is good, their chemistry was undeniable, the show was huge, and regardless of how close they are now (we have no idea), it's obvious they were really good friends when on set.

[ugh-yoongi]

inspired by your post about your husband lol, what random things do each member of bts do that make them a new level hotter to you

this is such a cute question!! well, maybe not cute depending on the response, but. u know. 🤷🏻‍♀️

seokjin — i think people are expecting me to say his brat taming thing, bc it is objectively hot, but if this is a safe space and we’re oversharing together on a stormy friday night, i think it’s kinda hotter if he… doesn’t? like, knows you’re being a brat but goes along w it and “lets” you act up. so that’s not my answer, obviously.

so, to me, it’s his perseverance. i think it’s very hot to straight up say, “hey, i’m not all that great at this, but i’m gonna do it and try my best anyway.” i am a person who gives up the second i’m not good at something right away or as soon as it gets hard, so. yeah. very attractive and hot quality.

yoongi — cop out answer, but anytime he does anything with his hands. it almost put me in the ground when he made all those cutting boards. add on him playing guitar and i was donezo. he has really nice hands and he knows he has really nice hands and it’s sick. he’s sick.

hobi — idk how to explain it but hobi emanates this absolute freak aura and it’s, like. very hot. like you can just tell he’s comfortable and confident in himself and would be down to do anything and get a lil weird with it, and that kind of energy is powerful.

namjoon — this is where parasocial relationships come in handy bc this is something i find so hot hypothetically but would make me wanna strangle him irl, but: his petty streak. my god this man is SO petty and i find it SO hot, but if it was directed at me i’d cry so bad. like, hickeygate??? closer pt. 2?? kill me.

jimin — his absolute disregard for gender roles. really fucking hot. talking abt how much toxic masculinity sucks? hot. drawing the bigender symbol on himself? hot. being described as having “gender neutral charm”? hot.

this is not me trying to assign him a label. it’s me as a person who does not necessarily feel all that connected to their gender (hard to describe what i mean by this but: i’m cis and know i’m cis but i still don’t know what being a woman means to me personally, and therefore i feel disconnected from it sometimes) seeing someone look at what society expects them to look and be like because they’re a man, and say, “yeah, nah.”

taehyung — how messy he is. another trait that might drive me bonkers irl, but from a very far distance? love it. it’s similar to what i said about jimin in the sense that, as an idol, there are expectations for him. and he just waves them away. like, there are not very many idols who are gonna go on weverse and threaten to shoot someone in the neck for violating their privacy, but taehyung will, and that’s very hot of him. those pictures from that club in paris? also very hot of him. he just sort of does what he wants and in an industry that’s so rigid and boxed-in, i can’t help but love a rebel.

jungkook — idk man. fucking everything. i had an embarrassing and public meltdown over him last year in his calvin klein era and now i can’t look him in the eye. if you put a gun to my head and made me pick one, though? it’s the way he’s got this overwhelming sort of fuckboy energy but you also know you could make him cry. we love a man with duality.

[growling]

Top 10 favourite narcissist moments

parasocial hatred. we never talked and I'm not sure you know I exist but I fucking hate you and hope the worst happens to you

getting so pissed over actual talented people that get like 50+ notes minimum for every art and endless praise from their 100+ followers every damn day whining about how much their art sucks and nobody appreciates them or whatever. like shut the fuck up do you just not know how good you have it or are you just fishing for attention. nevermind i have already decided which one and i decided i want you boiled in a pot

not being able to have a normal one without a constant string of supply aka attention and praise from everyone. every time someone talks to me or compliments my epic art skillz or acknowledges me in any way I get such a high I feel like a literal god and feeling giddy nonstop for the whole day, then it fades i start to feel a bit too ignored these past 2 days and a half and i just feel so empty and terrible and my world is destroyed and i need to hurt something now- oh someone said im cool again nevermind i have been fixed the universe is beautiful my future is bright mentally healthy people want me carnally

having a really fucked relationship with the concept of "unconditional love" everything is conditional what are you talking about. and "love" in general, when i say i'm loveless, whether romantically or platonically, i mean it. that doesn't mean i cannot get attached to people or care about them in some other way, no i am not going to explain it in detail right now

there is zero point in talking to anyone else or getting into any relationships because none of these people could ever be on my level. their thinking is so shallow and stupid and they all behave so predictably and enjoy the most nonsensical of things and it's like everyone just gets something that i don't and they're inferior in every way but it feels like they are out for me specifically because I'm not like them and as soon as they find me out I will never be safe there. It's lonely and terrifying but yeah sure I'm the asshole apparently because I secretly feel superior or whatever. contrary to popular opinion being extremely self-centered is not a positive thing for the guy that has it

not caring about anything that doesn't concern me specifically in any way. it's all "support people with low empathy" until they can't ""make up"" for it with high sympathy or just trying harder or something. Everything bad that ever happens is here just for my entertainment or an annoyance. vents and crying and whatnot make me incredibly uncomfortable or annoyed and i mean i will try to listen (because i am a wonderful kind person) but i will have zero idea on how to respond because thorought the entirety of it i didn't really pay attention and just kinda thought "oh my god stfu i don't careeee when can i leave" while envisioning rain code amvs in my mind. unless you unlock my easter egg that is

only doing nice things for praise and making people love me or just to feel good for being such a great person, and getting incredibly dissapointed and sometimes really pissed whenever they're not grateful enough

wow society is a shitshow i don't respect literally any of you people. i should run away and live away from everybody forever but i need to acquire my riches and fame first which will not be hard whatsoever. the struggle never ends

just. lying all the time. and not being able to tell whether you actually like somebody or their attention.

not seeing other people as people (i know they are, it doesn't change that i still feel they aren't), having to slowly spend enough time talking with them and find out enough information on them in order to start seeing them as an actual person. if i don't know who you are then you just aren't that important in the great scheme of things. and if i do know you and get attached (and maybe you also happen to have traits that make you special and better than others almost like me which makes me like you even more) then I decide you're my person now. not in a weird or entitled way, it's just how many of us show protectiveness and whatnot thanks radiostaticsmile for putting that into words. I do feel a bit of an ownership over people I like, kinda like a cat or dog with their people. i'm really not escaping the kittycat allegations am i. god damn it.

[frenchkisstheabyss]

Hellouw 🥹 I don’t really know who else I could talk to about something that has been on my mind lately and I’m kinda questioning how “normal” it is so I wanted to ask you and hear your opinion about it. You’re always so nice and I feel like you wouldn’t judge others.. 

So..I know a lot of K-pop Stan’s joke about having a crush on their biases or when they say “giggling, blushing, kicking my feet to XYZs picture” or whatever but I’ve also seen so many fans judging others for that. 

I was feeling really down for a while and when I discovered my ult group and especially my bias I finally felt some sense of enjoyment and happiness again. I began to notice how my mood and happiness depended on them and also how much I actually liked my bias. Obviously most idols are super attractive and with all the fan service it’s easy to develop celebrity crushes on them but I began to wonder whether I should feel bad about it or even try to stop it by maybe taking a break from my ult group. It’s not that I’m delusional and think I could actually pull my bias or would get mad if he dated someone and cancel them for that. 

It’s more like daydreaming about him and admiring him, finding him obviously super attractive but with no ill intent. 

But then I see videos or tweets of other fans who talk about “breaking the first rule of K-pop”and they’re really harsh and mean and talk super negatively about people who have crushes on idols and then I feel bad about myself and wonder if I’m actually weird for that or if it’s okay as long as I’m not delusional about it.. 

Have you ever felt like you like an idol too much? Or where you were close to actually falling in love with one? 

I don’t even know if what I said makes a lot of sense but I’d really like to hear some more opinions on that topic without being judged 🙃

Let me be the realest of realest of real with you. Anyone who’s judging you can suck a dick and not in the fun way. In the most disrespectful way possible.

It’s completely okay if your biases and the groups you love are the thing that makes you happy. Kick your feet, giggle, smile, feel good. Have a nice time. Be joyful. You’re not hurting anyone by doing that.

Would it be ideal if we could source all of those feelings from within ourselves? Totally but that’s just not the case . Life is fucking hard and it can be a struggle to make it through the day.

It doesn’t matter what the people judging you wanna say, they’re into KPop because it does the same thing for them. They can pretend that the entire industry isn’t one big parasocial relationship factory but they’d be lying to themselves.

We love our biases and our groups and the music and the concerts because they make us happy. They bring light to our lives. And yeah sometimes you’re super duper into one of them but so what?

I gave up KPop after first getting into it cause friends shamed me for loving it so much but I got back into it and I love it more than ever now liiiiike Hyungwon from Monsta X is my man period. I’ll go to war over my lil 6ft tall chronically sleepy turtle boy lol

All of that is fine and if anyone ever gives you shit TAG ME. GIVE ME THEIR INFO. I got your back 💜

[khaleesiofalicante]

Firstly, thank u for sharing stuff about yourself. I did wonder a lot what u studied and I'm glad that mystery got solved. Were you a little disappointed in realising that there was math in your field as well?

( Also a little out of topic , I know u dont like math, but can i make a case for it by saying that the reason math gets a bad rep is that it feels like u either get it or you dont. But once u kinda realise that math is like this one thing that is consistent. Like there are some absolute truths in here that wont change whether youre in space or earth , or youre an ant or a human. Those truths can lead to relations , now. I know its disappointinhg , frustating and agitating when u cant find the relationship you need for some particular question. But u can still try and find a relation, what u may end up with maybe not the relation u need but its still correct. You did find another truth , it maybe just wasnt one you needed at the moment. Math is beautiful like that , its like a prism that u can look at from all angles, sure the rainbow might come out under specific circumstances but its still a bloody cool shape and form. I hope this atleast makes you and maybe anyone else think of math in a little different way. )

Also you're the youngest that breaks a lot of my younger siblings stereotypes as well. It's so cute you're all earthy , would be so in character if your horoscope was a earth sign too. I love ur weird obsession with the number 21 .

I will take a chance to tell you sth about me as well for no reason other than u said it's okay to.

- I'm the oldest in my family, extended family as well.

- My name means a little brook or lake in my native language .

- I was the head girl of my school and my first and only high-school boyfriend was the head boy.( who i initially hated)

- i used to be really scared of darkness and ghosts and now i have learnt to live with them both .

- my favorite fruit ever is cherries.

- my life mantra is live and let live but sometimes people misconstrue it as i don't care , which isn't true and i hope people i love know that.

- im very very close to my family and will fight anyone who disrespects them.

- You're my first parasocial relationship that i am a little too into. I'm usually very private about my fanfiction interest so the first time i told my then boyfriend about how much i loved u , he was a little scared of my groupie behavior and told me to not be stan from the eminem song which made me a little scared of how i might be coming off. But u truly inspire me and my mom sends u wishes as well. ( the mom bit was a recent one)

- I'm also a nerd fighter ( we are very pro nerds and fight world suck) which is just the community that John and hank green have online.

- if u ever visit where i lived ( rn it's london, ) i would die and faint .

- when u write ur book I'm gonna buy 20 of them . 4 for me , 10 to give away to my loved ones and 6 to give out to stranger on the street because people need u to in their lives.

First things first. I'm not bad at math, I just don't like it 😂 I'm a humanities girlie through and through so not having to write an essay answer irks me. What do you mean I have to fuck around with numbers and you'll grade me on that??? No thanks!

Also you're cute for defending math so much (Other Max much???)

I was indeed SHOOKETH to find out about math (or stats rather) when I did my degree. And it was for a whole semester too. Fuck them, seriously. Should've warned me. But I like research so it was okay I guess :(

I'm a fire sign, bebe!!!

Thank you for telling me about yourself!! (You didn't say your name though or what you'd like to called here!)

It's cute that your name is called little brook. Max's name means great stream 🥹🥹

HEAD GIRL AND HEAD BOY???? WHAT FANFIC-

I am proud to be your first parasocial fanfic author person. And thank you for the wishes from your mom! I love wishes from mothers hehe.

I've always wanted to visit London (just not high on the priority list right now). But my sister moved to England last year so I will def visit sometime soon at least to see her 🥺

Thank you for all the love! I am trying to find more time to think about my book. It's difficult when there are so many work tasks and fics to write about. I need another vacation for it hehe. But here is a tidbit, there is a character called Radio and he is the best boy!!

Sending love 💖💖💖

[brothersonahotelbed]

was tagged by @transgenderfreak thank you so so much!!! & sorry im late </3

are you named after anyone?

i named myself after nico di angelo from the percy jackson series :3 he's my favorite character

when was the last time you cried?

may 15th! too much wine

do you have kids?

naur

do you use sarcasm a lot?

only around people whom im comfortable! im really fucking polite to new people but once i get to know you and i like you, i can be veeery sarcastic. like a cat exposing its belly

what sports do you play/have you played?

i don't play any sports currently, but i used to be a FREAK at soccer!!! i mean it. im severely out of practice but sometimes i pick up the ball for shits and giggles, and ive found that i can still juggle which is pretty cool :] ive got medals and a few trophies but they're from when i was younger, like in middle & elementary school

what's the first thing you notice about other people?

their face, im excellent with faces but not names.

eye color?

idk if they're blue-green or green-blue but they're a mixture of those two plus some flecks of like. brown or gold. idk

scary movies or happy endings?

scary movies BUT. i raise you this...happy movies with scary endings

any special talents?

i have will graham levels of empathy and this allows me to read people Very well. to the point where i can finish their sentences or say what they're thinking/trying to say better than they can.

where were you born?

manhasset, ny

what are your hobbies?

reading, writing, and playing guitar. i also notice patterns in the universe for fun :3

do you have any pets?

yez i have 4 cats <3 from left to right: bubbas, twix, ash/mr fluffy, and willow/wee wee

how tall are you?

5'6

fave subject in school?

im going off of my highschool classes bc college sucks. so, english or music. or latin, but i think that was mostly because my latin teacher was the greatest man on the planet i think i had a parasocial relationship with him before i even knew what that was

dream job?

i dont dream of work but if i could make money either writing novels or playing in a band...

you don't have to do this but if you want to: @vnapologeticapathy @gothdrpepper @autism69 @faggottranssexual @sooth-sayings @joanofarccoded @shobe-sandwitch @halfbloodsnowflake @probablymoons

[kmclaude]

How much do you want your own unique personality to come through in the art that you make? How much do you want people to separate your art from the artist?

Can anyone separate the art from the artist? And if so, when?

Take J. K. Rowling -- fucking cunt. Absolute shithead. Singlehandedly lit on fire all goodwill and went right to goose-stepping. Regardless of how intrinsically linked Harry Potter was to my childhood and adolescence (and to me creating online! Literally!) like...her as a human being actively championing destruction of trans rights not just sours the media for me, it makes it radioactive to me. It cannot be separated. She is shit and as such her art reeks of it.

...but then again she has literally stated that support of her art is support of her views (she's already made her money anyway) so is it her attitude? Would it be different if she was a shit human being who didn't actively link artistic support to moral support? Is attitude all that makes it separable? Would it be different if she didn't profit (and at this point again she's made her money -- it's about the same as if she were dead and not making money, you know? Drop in a bucket.) Would it be separable then? Would I be just as hard pressed to separate her the artist from her art if she were Joanne, just Joanne, self publishing and writing blog posts and making a wee side hustle?

(Would I be just as hard pressed to separate art and artist if her views and shitfuckery didn't directly impact me, a filthy little transsexual?)

Not to get all philosophical. I just tend to sometimes ask myself this. Hell, listening to Marilyn Manson's been kinda hard to do post the latest accusations -- yet I can listen to some of the earlier stuff that really just SLAPS -- and is it because besides Pale Emperor, most of the albums past Holywood bar some songs just don't do it for me? Is it because it's hard to reconcile the artist whose art meant a lot to a weirdo like me and who became the face of a witch hunt because of his art (which means a lot to an artist like me) WITH the person who allegedly was basically telling on himself with his art? Is it a sense of personal betrayal (its own bit of parasocial relationship) that causes the separation?

And of course this is all with the assumption of separating art from artist purely as a "this guy sucks ass but I like what they make, how do I cope" POV but obviously there is the general idea of Death of the Author which your question seems more geared on: how much of my corpse should influence, if at all, a reader's reading of my corpus?

So back to your question -- some of my art (think diary comics for example as they're autobiographical) you really could not separate from me the artist. You couldn't. It's impossible given the nature of autobiographical works. Who I am, who I was, what my intent is -- very much intertwined there. At the same time, there is the room and space to separate out the autobiographical art as a pinpoint in time for the artist from the artist as a living being, ever changing in spacetime.

Most of my work...you could, I think, separate art from the artist. I'd encourage it in the sense that like...it'd be foolish to read into many of my comics or illustrations and think they are 1:1 expressions of me, my feelings, my experiences, etc. I think of it like the speaker of a poem vs the poet -- this is like basic English Lit class concepts, right? The speaker is not the poet. The artist is not the character. It'd be actually dangerous (and stupid) to scour my works, my illustrations, my writing, and try to make assumptions on me; I also think it'd be rather punishing for all involved to desperately need a listing of my pedigree, my biography, the minutiae of my intent to be able to interpret my works. They can stand pretty OK on their own; their neck muscles are firm enough to hold their head upright.

But...at the same time... my person informs my work. My intent informs my work (whether I succeed or fail at what I intend is another matter.) The works did not form fully grown from the ether onto your computer screen. They came from a person, me, about whom you (general you -- you specifically Idal know a bit more about me by virtue of our friendship) know some tidbits of information I've given here and there. These things inform it all. Those bits of information may be relevant in your interpretation; they may not be.

That's all intent however. In terms of my personality coming through: I think all artists' personalities come through in a work. Something of it. Maybe it's the character they play -- but even that is telling. There are people who write my characters better than I, and with their writing they leave a part of their personality in the words; likewise, there are people who draw my characters better than I and leave part of themselves in the linework. Those works imbue a part of their creators in them, even if my work (with part of me in it) provided the dolls to play house.

[house-of-slayterr]

Long rant about “trauma dumping” lol

I just watched a video that was the perfect example of the Internet watering down useful terms. The example was “trauma dumping” which any person with a brain will agree isn’t a great thing to do. But even when someone is actually trauma dumping, their internet is not usually malicious. You can correct them, and move on. Mistakes happen. Awkward situations happen.

The example in this video was a streamer acknowledging a specific chatter he’d noticed had been absent. He called attention to her and specifically asked “where the fuck have you been?” Which is already a pushy way to ask that type of question. He instigated the parasocial relationship here. And she answered honestly saying a simple “my mom died” and he fucking blew up on her, calling her a “bummer” saying she was “not using etiquette”, swearing, and basically insinuating she was a horrible person for answering a question he asked. And for 20 mins + a further response video he dragged her through the mud and repeatedly accused her of “trauma dumping”

Saying “my mom died” or “my husband left” or “my house burnt down” ISNT FUCKING TRAUMA DUMPING!! Those are just statements, facts.

Yes, sometimes these statements can be used to fish for attention, sympathy, pity, etc… but that wasn’t the case here. She never asked for sympathy, she simply answered his question and tried to move on. If he didn’t want an answer that wasn’t bubbly and upbeat, he shouldn’t have asked. Anyone who’s been on the Internet for a while knows that usually if someone disappears suddenly for a long time without explanation, it’s typically not a sign that things are going good in their life.

Like it’s rare someone’s just gonna hop of the internet for two months and be like “lol I was on vacation” because if it was good news, you probably would have heard about it.

There’s a huge difference between saying “my mom died” and trying to move on, Vs saying it repeatedly, or going into graphic detail, or continuing after someone asked you to stop. Those ARE trauma dumping. And there’s a time and a place for that.

But someone saying something that’s outside of your happy go lucky view of the world isn’t trauma dumping. Especially not if YOU asked them for said information. Don’t get mad at someone for answering your question in a way you don’t like. That’s not their problem, it’s yours. A simple “that sucks” or “I’m sorry” or even if he wanted people not to say that news “I’m sorry, I wish you the best, but please don’t discuss stuff like that here” would suffice.

Now on to the Neurodivergent part of this rant…

Can we please for the love of god stop just throwing around phrases like “how are you?” “What’s been up with you?” “Where have you been?” Like they mean fucking nothing?

Neurotypicals always say how were inappropriate, or rude/blunt, or confusing or don’t understand social cue. Of course we don’t fucking understand when you social cues are literally fucking bullshit built on a lie.

If you don’t want me to answer the question honestly, why the fuck are you asking? They say they do it because it’s “polite” but what polite about prying into a strangers life?

For example, I get this question A LOT working as a barista. And people have even complained to my boss about it, despite me wearing a very obvious “Autistic” pin right under my name badge. And I know they can see it, cause they read my fucking name to complain about me.

I only ask “how are you?” To my regulars, because I care and I want to know. And they care and want to know back.

But do you know how many times (it’s usually people 40+) customers will walk up to me, and I’ll greet them with a friendly “hi, what can I get started for you today?” Because that’s my comfortable scripted line I’ve prepared to efficiently move them along. And they respond by rolling their eyes, giving me attitude or saying shit like “IM GOOD HOW ARE YOU?” In the condescending baby voice? It’s infuriating and infantilising and I hate it.

And because I don’t want them to have the satisfaction I just repeat my question. We could have had a pleasant interaction if you just did what you came here to do, which was order coffee, not ask about my day when you clearly don’t want an answer. You created your own bad experience.

Most of the time, after I have gotten their cup in line so it can be made quickly and not get them upset, I’ll ask questions after. Business first, casual conversations second. 90% of the time I’ll compliment something about them, or be like “good drink choice, it’s my favourite” but they won’t even let me get there naturally in the flow of conversation. Why is your way right in my way wrong?

I hate giving fake answers like “good” or “I’m doing well” cause it’s such a waste of time. In that time, you could already have your drink starting to be made. I work in FAST food, I don’t have time for your “pleasantries”.

I always end with “have a great day” cause we actually required to say it. And most of the time I fucking mean it, because I want people to have a nice day and enjoy their coffee we just made them. But to go behind my back and complain is asinine, childish and out of order. What are we, fucking primary school children? Don’t go run off to the principal cause I don’t play the way you wanted me to. I didn’t ask for that.

This quickly combines with the “customer is always right” bullshit. Because they expect you to be nice to them, despite them being rude and disrespectful to you first. Like you started this, and you’re gonna stand there and finish it, or you’re gonna leave. Don’t drag this out and make everyone miserable because you’re deluded enough to think you get special treatment.

People also complain that everything I say sounds sarcastic because I’m “too cheerful” you’re just being ableist. That’s just want my voice sounds like when I’m doing my job. Would you rather me dead pan and be like “that the fuck do you want?” Because those are your only options. Either you get nice me who’s genuinely trying to help you cause that’s what I’m being paid to do, or you go somewhere else where people will treat you the way you expect to be treated.

Like that’s not something that’s just programmed into everyone and it’s foolish to think it is. You set this standard for yourself. You can’t instantly get mad when you haven’t communicated the issue first in a polite manner. How the fuck am I suspend to know you want me to ask about your day, when the guy behind you would rather shoot himself then have me ask him for anything but his order? I’m not a fucking mind reader, and me trying to do my job isn’t “rude.”

This has been bothering me for a while cause I deal with this every fucking shift for the past 2 years. My boss just had to yell at an old coworker in the big store (I work in a kiosk within a store so they aren’t my direct coworkers, but we do function in the same building) who came to visit and was apparently talking shit about me and another coworker. Because we didn’t meet her impossible high, un-communicated standards. My boss was just like “they’re fucking autistic and you’d know that if you payed attention” and basiclly told her to never come to our shop again. And as for the coworker she was complaining about (while I don’t necessarily like this person for many reason I won’t go into) wear a giant fucking “I have social anxiety, please be patient with me” pin. I know they can see it.

We’re trying out best and making fuck all! And you know non of these people have ever tipped us. Or even been nice to our faces. Then they wonder why we frown when they come over and aren’t excited to see them. You fostered this reaction with your constant and blatant distaste, we’re just reacting cause we’re human beings. Don’t expect us to smile at you when you’re being mean. I hate people sometime I swear!

@oceansrose2002 @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @myers-meadow this happened at least 5 times today. I wasn’t even there a full shift.

[mythvoiced]

-. About Eren's connections and whom I personally believed Eren had felt the closest to and whom he might have grown closest to in the healthiest way given the opportunity to do so aka none of the fking story happening lmao. PART 1 because there are loadsa characters and I love doing this, I LOVE LOVE LOVE--

This is NOT SHIPPING RELATED, I don't have anything against shipping (within legal and moral frames), but this post just isn't about that.

Reiner - That Eren idolised Reiner to some small extent is basically confirmed via his reaction to the Reveal, Reiner was a cool not-older-but-older-seeming kid whom Eren looked up to; his brotherly, protective demeanour and the absolute Himbo-ness of his attitude captivated Eren in a way, made him feel (and sometimes even act) like that fricking Spider-man meme. Large puppy dog eyes, 'this guy is so cool!', getting his heart broken by that Reveal absolutely annihilated my heart. That was his guy, his bro, the target of his starry-eyed gaze, dammit Reiner. (I said not shipping related, but I do sometimes like to believe Eren had a crush on this silly-ass goon)

Jean - Do not even look at me, if you've heard me go off about AoT before, chances are you know Jean is my favourite character and ALSO I believe him to be the... best character, as well, morally speaking. He's definitely the most genuine and humane, let me tell you that. But that's besides the point, one thing I am convinced of is that had Eren been given the opportunity to befriend Jean beyond the friendship we see on screen, if we'd gotten to have these two close enough that Eren would confide in Jean, none of the bullshit later down the line would have happened. Jean has the personality type that would get Eren to Stop™. He's honest, he's genuine, he's kind, he's highly intelligent, he cares So Much (I LOVE JEAN), and he's not going to treat you softly when you need some cold hard facts thrown your way. Jean & Eren could have been a fucking Tag Team, dammit. None would have done it like them. If you're seeing this in the tags, @g1gant is a phenomenal fucking Jean I violently recommend Nassy's portrayal, I'm kissing it.

Armin - Armin is Eren's canonical best friend, but part of me believes this friendship was initially born out of a subconscious desire to protect the other. In a way, I do believe these two are that Onion Headline of 'Best Friends Secretly Think Of The Other as Sidekick'. Eren & Armin both seem to believe the other needs them to get through life, which only implies a very firm perception they have of each other that doesn't allow for a lot of deviating from it. They're close, and Armin has a pretty solid understanding of some aspects of Eren's psyche, but I wouldn't say they know each other very deeply. I'd even go as far as saying Armin has a rational understanding of Eren, but his impression of him rules over any new realisations he might have been able to make. He assesses Eren the way he assesses most things.

Mikasa - I might get hate if I write anything here lmao (but I will if prompted, I love starting Mikasa-related shit)

Levi - Levi Ackerman's role in Eren's life is a fucking rabbit hole of fandom nonsense I will not allow myself to perish in, so I'll be quick: Levi is one of the many adults who judge Eren according to his purpose, his usefulness, and/or his threat level to the cause, and he's an ass to him, but he's one of the few adults who, once he's done assessing him, actually remembers he's talking to a kid, and for that he gets bonus points. Eren idolised him and meeting his idol and getting a reality check that deeply fucks with his parasocial relationship to him was good for his mental health, and I do believe adult Eren and Levi would have been good work partners, but... you know. Yeah, I think he's the best adult in Eren's life. But looking at the facts, it's like calling him the tallest dwarf, you know what I mean? Yeah. The adults in AoT suck ass oh god.

And that's all I got for now, I stopped everything I was doing because I couldn't stop thinking about this. Now I gotta go back to... doing things.

[lesbianslovebts]

Seeing how HYBE sabotaged FACE, JITB and INDIGO and went all out for SEVEN is so fucking disappointing. But what’s even worse is how Jungkook was bought by both HYBE and Scooter to sell a whole persona and image that was never his authentic self.

i always knew jk wasnt perfect and had an extremely immature side to him. but i always thought one thing : he would never sell out. his whole thing was “rather be dead than cool” he even got it tattooed. either all of that was just bullcrap or he’s genuinely changed completely right in front of our eyes. how can he just sell out completely and ruin bts’s group principles. principles most of them still abide by and pride themselves in. and dont even get me started on the fandom reaction everything is bad until a bts member does it lol

Okay, let me arrange my thoughts.

First, I know very little about how the music industry works, let alone the intricacies of how HYBE does business. I won't deny that the chapter two solo promotions have been vastly different. However, I can't make any assumptions about why the differences exist. I just honestly don't know the level of involvement or decision-making power the members had in their solo stuff. I know Jimin mentioned wanting more than the two music videos he got. I'm sure Hobi wanted physical albums, too. So I know they don't always get what they want, and it doesn't sit well with me that they didn't have consistent promotions. HYBE is a massive corporation and they're gonna prioritize what they think will make more money over what the members may want, and that sucks ass. But I'm not sure if "sabotage" is the right word because HYBE wants their artists to succeed (i.e., generate profit). I don't know, like...that's just Capitalism, baby.

Second, I don't know much about Scooter Braun, either. He's a filthy rich man, so I'm sure he's Awful lol.

Third, I'm genuinely not sure what you mean by "Jungkook sold out." Are you upset that he was given the song instead of composing it himself? That's usually how popstars work lol. Or are you mad that he didn't write the English lyrics? The fact it's in English in the first place? I personally would have preferred a song in Korean, but he can sing in whatever language he chooses. Or do you hate the people who did write/compose the song? Is it Latto? I don't know all these people. 😩 Or is it the content of the lyrics? Considering how you're going on about "principles," I have a feeling you're offended that the lyrics are about Big Bad Sex. I'm sorry, but he's a 25-year-old man who probably fucks on the regular. I would recommend coming to terms with that.

Fourth, how do you know which highly curated public persona of Jungkook is the "authentic" 전정국? It sounds like you might be struggling with a parasocial relationship. As a fan for 8 years, I feel like I "know" the guy to some extent, but I'm aware that I will never know what Jungkook is truly like in real, everyday life.

And lastly, so no one misunderstands my personal opinion of the song, this is what I think: It's alright. Kinda bland. Generic pop isn't really my thing. I would've preferred Korean lyrics and no featured artist. (Nothing against Latto, though - I liked her part.) The lyrics are corny, especially the part where he's literally just singing the days of the week lmao. But I like the horny direction we're heading in fhdhahfj. I'll probably listen to it sometimes. 🤷‍♂️

[itsallreallythere]

I work at a corporation where my job is helping cancer researchers analyze their data using cloud computing. And I know this sounds bizarre to say with that lead in, but sometimes it feels like my work doesn't fucking matter, and like I'm some kind of parasite because I'm not even doing the research, I'm just literally helping people use a website right? I have a PhD in biology which is why I can do the work I do, the subject matter expertise is actually required, but day to day, it feels like I'm just helping people use a website.

Okay, so cue Sam Reigel, coming in and killing all of us completely dead forever by being so direct and vulnerable. (Having cancer and getting it treated just sucks. Talking about it to help other people is brave.)

I know that I've had a direct impact on researchers working on this specific kind of cancer, looking at how the HPV virus integrates into the genome and breaks other genes, stuff that helps doctors be able to figure out what treatments they can use when things DON'T go as well as they did for Sam, and you don't catch it before it spreads and can't be surgically excised.

I guess all I came here to say is that we live in a society. It's hard to see why the things we do matter sometimes because it's a very big society. I don't ever have direct patient contact, and neither do the people I work with. And I also don't go around looking for content of people saying stuff about having cancer, because what kind of sociopath would do that. So, I feel really incredibly grateful that Sam Reigel, who is not my friend despite my mammal brain forming parasocial relationships, did me this personal service of baring his badly bruised and recovering soul so that I could remember that my work probably does have value.

It's Been A While