#it fulfills me because i know i won't have to fear anything. it is in His hands

[smile-files]

this might be a hot take... but if you care about disavowing media made by bad people out of fear of looking like a bad person yourself more than you care about actually doing good things... you might have your priorities (and your morals) screwed up a bit :/

(see my tags for more of my thoughts on this topic! please try to avoid making make bad-faith assumptions about what i mean!)

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I do want to make it clear that I don't judge people, in many ways, for assuming that made in g-d's image is literal because in many ways, I take that literally. I think g-d weeps with me, and He sings with me, and He feels things. I think g-d has so many human qualities, but what makes people unique is that we were made in His image with the qualities of being human. We eat, and sleep, and grow old and die whereas g-d doesn't. I don't think that humans and g-d are the same, but when I conceptualize g-d (despite knowing it's impossible), I'd like to think that g-d sits across from me while I eat, gossiping about the video games I'm playing, laughing about some dumb joke, or crying with me when it's all too much, when life is too much.

So, I've been thinking about the nature of conversion and transition, and I think a lot of trans ger and trans converts will relate with the idea of not being born as something but becoming it.

In many ways, I think people almost... don't understand what "created in g-d's image" means. I hesitate to say "don't understand," but I don't know how to explain myself better. What I mean is that I think people take it too literally, in a weird sense. I don't think g-d makes you fully-formed, g-d lets you grow. What I think "made in g-d's image" means is that He gave us the attributes to understand ourselves, to learn, and to explore. I don't think g-d necessarily made me any gender, He gave me the intelligence to understand I can become a man, that I want to Be one. And g-d didn't make me a non-jew for any particular reason, perhaps, but He gave me the ability to discern that I want to Be a jew.

In many ways, I think the ideas about "made in His image" is about how we were given the ability to understand the world. It isn't about, necessarily, being Literally Unable to change, to be something else. I don't think I'm, like, ultimately correct, but I've been thinking about the similarities between transitioning gender and almost transitioning to being a jew.

[badscienceman]

I saw someone ask what "I hope this hurts" means beyond the obvious, and I started to respond only for it to turn into an essay... Because I don't feel like dumping something so long in some unsuspecting person's notifs, I'm just going to post it here instead.

I started writing this after playing the game, but ended up watching a playthrough because I couldn't remember exactly where "I hope this hurts" was repeated. I think I caught the only few times it was mentioned, but I wouldn't be surprised if I missed something, so feel free to correct me on that or anything else I might have gotten wrong.

Spoilers for the full game and CWs for everything you would expect from discussing Mouthwashing apply.

Edited 10/16/2024 for clarity and some minor issues with formatting. I added sections in hopes of making it more readable, as well as a few more screenshots that I hope will support my points better. *Indicates where I made potentially significant additions to my original analysis.

Part One: Jimmy

Jimmy is someone who has a delicate ego. This means that he's very concerned with how he's perceived by those around him. We see this in how he responds to Curly and the news of the company's closure, which he takes it as a personal attack in spite of it very clearly having nothing to do with him on a personal level.

For people like Jimmy, a threat to one's image (whether it's a matter of their perception of themselves or, maybe worse, the perception others have of them) brings intense emotional pain. Even though it's clear that Curly meant no personal offense, and likely saw more good in Jimmy than was actually there, Jimmy sees this as a great threat to his own image, and thus identity.

To be clear, it's not just that Jimmy thinks Curly is looking down on him. It's also that Jimmy needs his role in the company to maintain his image, and he needs to eventually become captain. This is his ultimate goal because the respect and control that someone like Curly has, in Jimmy's mind, is tied to the title he possesses. And Jimmy wants that. He wants respect, he wants to be listened to, he wants power over others. (This is also why Swansea's final speech is so important, in relation to the belief that if one just reaches this next goal, they might feel a little more human, a little more in control, a little more fulfilled, but as Swansea shows us, that's just not the case. And it's true for Jimmy, too. Jimmy isn't magically fulfilled by obtaining the title of captain.)

But in the beginning, Jimmy has yet to realize that just getting the role of captain won't magically make him a man who is respected, or even a man who is truly in control. He sees no opportunities for himself on earth. The only option is to stay in this company and become a little lord of his own ship... and suddenly that's ripped out from under him. He will never reach the goal he's been chasing for all of this time.

Anya telling him about her pregnancy is the final push he needs to go over the edge.

Part Two: Captain

Returning to the initial reveal that the company is shutting down for a second, I think it's important to keep in mind a few things:

1. The importance of the title of captain in Jimmy's mind.

2. How this extends to his perception of Curly, him being the current captain.

3. Jimmy's self-centeredness preventing him from understanding the feelings and perceptions of those around him.

When Curly says what he does, Jimmy immediately jumps to the conclusion that Curly sees himself as above everyone else (and most importantly, as above Jimmy), to the point of considering them "dirt." I don't think Jimmy is just projecting his greatest fear (being seen as lesser) onto Curly. I think he's projecting his own perceptions.

He's placed all of this importance on the title of captain, and thus Curly. The captain is above Jimmy. Jimmy is beneath him, is lesser. And we know how Jimmy treats those he sees as lesser (first Anya, and then the rest of the crew once he's captain, *manipulating Daisuke into putting his life at risk because Daisuke, who is just an intern after all, just isn't important to Jimmy being an example).

I think this is a fair reading because Jimmy does something similar with Swansea when he insists that Swansea is keeping the last cryostasis pod for himself. I understand some might say that this is just Jimmy's attempt to manipulate Daisuke and Jimmy doesn't actually believe it, which is a fair interpretation, but I sincerely think he believes what he's saying in this instance. And I think that because Jimmy sees selfishness as common sense. It's what he would do were he in Swansea's position, and what makes him giving the pod to Curly significant.

Part Three: Anya

So, Jimmy is already hurt and panicking. He sees his chance at power and thus fulfillment slipping away. And then Anya tells him that she's pregnant.

Anya, who he has shown time and time again that he thinks little of.

Anya, who he clearly sees as beneath him.

Any mention of the pregnancy, no matter how gently it was worded, would immediately feel like a threat to him on multiple levels. And not only that, but a threat from someone lesser than him. His image, his status, his control, his power—it's already slipping from his fingertips. *It's happening right then, in that moment. It's not just a potential future where he's held accountable in a real way (maybe if Anya involved authorities, or if Jimmy was legally responsible for supporting a child once they returned to earth). It's happening now, because his image is crumbling.

For this reason, I believe I hope this hurts to be directed at anyone and everyone that he sees as "threatening" him.

Anya and Curly have made him hurt. He wants to make them hurt.

He doesn't care about Daisuke and Swansea. If anything, he's so caught up in himself and this contorted vision of reality, I wouldn't be shocked if he convinced himself in the moment that they, too, were looking down on him for some reason. (See again, "I know what everyone is thinking. The way they look at me." Obviously this is said in the midst of his spiral, after the crash, but I wouldn't doubt the paranoia was there before that moment.)

He wants to make them hurt as they've hurt him. He may also want to make himself hurt in order to vent out his emotional pain. If not, death may simply be the easiest way to escape pain and the threat the future holds in his mind.

*Part Four: Without the Guilt

In addition to all of this, I think crashing the ship (making them hurt) is his vision of what Curly has done or is doing to him. This is how he "leave(s) the dirt behind."

To understand this, I'm going to include the birthday conversation and the conversation between Jimmy and Curly about crashing the ship.

Jimmy: ... So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt. Curly: Jim... If I had known... Jimmy: I can go back to my, how'd you put it? "Struggle of a life?" Jimmy: Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real. Jimmy: And how many employment years Swansea got left in him? Jimmy: Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least. Jimmy: But you. Headed for bigger and better, right? Curly: I'm just... I'm just working on my life being a place I don't have to fucking escape! That's what I was trying to tell you, nothing mor- Jimmy: We're the ones you're trying to escape! Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean! Curly: That's not what I meant. Jimmy: It is what you meant. Jimmy: You just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that kept you as the hero. Jimmy: Abandon the crew but remain the model captain.

To me, this is one of the most important and revealing sections of the game. Jimmy is not only projecting onto Curly, he's telling us exactly what he's going to go on to do (or attempt to do) when he becomes captain.

In addition to this, we see his manipulation on full display as he twists Curly's words and won't allow him even a moment to truly speak beyond a few lines he manages to get in between Jimmy's ranting.

That's not to mention we see the beginning of yet another pattern in Jimmy's behavior: getting a person to admit their weakness, then using it against them and/or using it to hurt them (he does this with Daisuke, for example, when he hears Daisuke's fears/desire for approval and proceeds to use it to get Daisuke in the vent). Here, Curly speaks about feeling trapped. Jimmy will soon trap him in a crashed ship just as much as he traps him in his own body, which Jimmy will proceed to drug. But I'll return to that.

Curly: Jim. I can fix this. Jimmy: What do you think will happen when we get back? Hm? Curly: We can figure all of this out. You and me. Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy: All I ever hear is how great of a leader you are. God, it's so annoying. Jimmy: But, now... What do you think will happen now when we get back? Curly: We'll fix this together. Jimmy: Everything you and I worked for in our lives. Accomplishments, changes. Jimmy: None of it will matter. Curly: You've gotten through difficult situations before. This time won't be any different. Work through it, one day at a time. Jimmy: It's not just me, is it? Jimmy: You were supposed to be the one who had everything under control. You said so yourself. Jimmy: The ship, this crew, everything that happened here... Jimmy: This was your responsibility, Captain. Jimmy: That is what you'll be hearing the rest of your life. Take responsibility. Jimmy: Or this can all be remembered as a tragedy. Jimmy: Despite what must have been the best efforts of its acclaimed captain. Jimmy: The Tulpar crew was never found. Jimmy: No one survived to tell the tale. Take responsibility. Jimmy: You're standing at the top. Jimmy: Feet in cement. Jimmy: I get it now. Right? Curly: ... Curly: ... Right.

This is an important moment, because aside from the scene in which Jimmy is approaching Curly while he's on fire, it's the only other time that I can recall the game separating from their perspectives to allow us to see them both, standing together.

We see a flash of Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy begins to pull away. Another flash. He continues to draw back. Another. He turns towards the cockpit.

Jimmy sees through Curly. He sees Curly's worst where Curly sees only Jimmy's best, and he's more that willing to use that against Curly.

He sees a man who is not going to do what's hard. He sees a man who is going to try to "fix it" only in the most superficial sense. A man who confuses the appearance of cohesion and peace with the reality of it. Someone who sees the rocking of the boat as a manifestation of taking action against a wrong rather than the wrong itself.

In the end, it seems they're both ruled by appearances. And Jimmy will soon rip appearances in every sense from Curly's fingertips. He will make him hurt. He will get his revenge. He'll turn Curly into the villain, taking away his title, his respect, and his very face.

For daring to look down on him, Jimmy will turn Curly into dust.

But I think these words—I hope it hurts—come back to haunt him.

Part Five: The Eye as a Mirror

Like I said, I went back to try to find each time the phrase is used. There's the beginning, of course, but then there's the pregnancy sequence, for lack of a better name.

When the Polle monstrosity emerges from the giant uterus (?), we see these words:

In this sequence, we see a lot of different images and concepts connected: Anya's pregnancy and thus her sexual assault by Jimmy are tied to Polle and the company. The emergence of the Polle monster from the giant uterus (and the idea of the removal of the pregnancy) is tied to the mouthwash, as it's an act of "cleansing." This is all then tied to the phrase I hope this hurts.

Unless I missed something, these are the only two moments when the phrase is used: When Jimmy crashes the ship, and when he's experiencing this hallucination.

All clean! Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth, huh? Through wreckage! Through silence! Wash it away! All day fire fresh!

"Clean" is important immediately. "Leave the dirt behind you now that your boots are clean," Jimmy says. Because in this accusation is Jimmy's actual intentions himself. He wants to rise above others and clean himself from their filth. Now, he wants to clean himself of his sins.

I think "Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth" is mocking him. A direct challenge to the thought that he could ever truly be "cleaned," at least in the ways he's so desperately trying to go about it. *Not to mention how this connects to the mouthwash, as it might get that 99%, but there's always going to be 1% left.

"Through wreckage" obviously refers to the wrecking of the ship, but also of their lives. All by Jimmy. Though I wouldn't doubt in his mind it connects to the wreckage of consequences (ie. Anya's pregnancy resulting from Jimmy's actions).

"Through silence" I feel connects back to Jimmy's attempts to keep everything quiet, both literally and figuratively.

"Wash it away" also has a mocking edge, as if stressing the foolishness of Jimmy's attempts to treat these very serious events as if it's all just "dirt" he can wipe off.

Finally, we see "All day fire fresh!" This line stresses the connection to the mouthwash, of course. It also calls to mind the concept of cleansing by fire. Important considering Curly.

And after each, I hope it hurts. Jimmy's statement of pure, childish rage. His desperate desire to make others hurt as he hurts. To lash out, to get revenge. To have control until the very end.

This is also why Polle haunts him. Because he, as a man desperate for control, will always be under the thumb of the company even with that title of captain. That hurts him. And maybe the closest thing to ever recognizing the evil he's done to Anya is envisioning it as similar to the company's control, but even that feels like a mockery because he's so horrifically incapable of seeing her as a human being that she's been reduced to her womb. That's what he's really afraid of, in the end, and the fear feels like something else is in control. It makes the organ feel giant, larger than him, capable of hurting him.

When I was watching the playthrough, I thought that there was going to be four or five "I hope it hurts." I thought it would represent each person Jimmy hurts, or all of them, because he hurts himself too. When the sixth came, I thought so much for that theory. But then, I thought about it and there's the fetus. That makes six.

So, I hope this hurts means "I want to hurt you the way I've been hurt. The way you've hurt me." It's Jimmy saying that if his life has been wrecked, he'll wreck yours. It's Jimmy saying he'll shut you up. It's Jimmy saying he'll burn everything down if it means he can maintain control, or even just the illusion of it.

Part Six: Pain

But I think there's another side to this. Like some of the other lines I said feel are mocking him, I think I hope this hurts turns against Jimmy, especially here. And more than that, pain (and by extension, pain medication) plays a massive role in the game, after all. So I hope this hurts feels as if it haunts every moment where it's involved.

Jimmy says this the first time he gives Curly his pills. Pain is how we know we're still living.

The pills are clearly connected to death from the start. If "pain is how we know we're still living" then pain is connected to life and freedom from it is connected to death. That's saying nothing of Anya's use of the pills to kill herself. I think this connects back to the crash, as well. If life is pain, death is an escape from it.

I think it's also significant that the act of swallowing the pain pills is in and of itself painful.

The pills that are meant to take the pain away become a method of torturing Curly. It's a way to make him hurt, and to exert control over him. Even something that should take away his suffering is just an extension of it.

At one point, Jimmy says "Once these are out, we'll have nothing to keep him quiet." In this sense, the pain pills are meant to suppress, not to heal (Through silence!). They're supposed to shut Curly up and keep him from expressing his anguish in the only way he has left (the noises that disturb Jimmy's sleep).

Others have compared this, or Curly's state, to how Anya has been forced to bottle up her own suffering. Jimmy is keeping them both quiet, or at least attempting to. The ultimate form of keeping them quiet would be to, of course, kill them all.

The pills can also be seen as an attempt to hide or conceal the hurt that has been caused rather than to actually heal. In this way, they're like the mouthwash: something that's not really helping, just covering up an issue (and thus making it worse). And the mouthwash represents Jimmy's attempts to "fix" things. He doesn't actually want to make things right, because that would mean taking accountability. He wants to protect his own ego by "fixing" things in a mimicry of Curly "fixing" things in which he wants to create a sense of "rightness" without actually adressing what (or who) has been wronged. Jimmy can't stand to look at himself, because he would see that he really is constructed of his worst moments, or at least, that's what I suspect he would see.

Conclusion

Considering all of this, I hope this hurts can then become a mantra about living in spite of everything. I hope this hurts means "I hope I'm alive in the end. I hope we're all alive in the end." It could mean "I hope I'm allowed to hurt, because I am hurt, and the harm that's been done to me must be seen rather than suppressed and hidden." It could mean "You can't keep me quiet. You can't ignore or hide what you've done to me."

Maybe most of all, I think it means I hope you reap what you sow. When it's turned back on Jimmy, when it's almost mocking or haunting him, it becomes in part about his emotional weakness. About his inability to look at himself and his reality without experiencing the pain of humiliation. I don't think he ever experiences half of the pain he's inflicted on those around him. Still, he has to deal with the fact that his attempt to hurt others instead of facing himself has caused him more pain rather than taken it away as he'd hoped.

And I think that's why he suddenly decides to make Curly a "hero" instead of a "villain." There's a tipping point where he's pushed into a corner. The pain is too much. He hasn't confronted his own actions in any real way, but he's done enough that he can't stand to save himself anymore. It hurts too badly to live with what he's done. It sends him into another stage of fantasy/delusion. The only thing left to do is what he intended to from the start: kill himself to escape and damn Curly to a slow death. Because to go on living in spite of the pain would be the right thing to do, in a sense. To live in the hell of his own creation. To face what he's done. But instead, he'll entrust those heroics to Curly.

This feels barely coherent in the end, so I might come back in a few days and say wow what the fuck was I talking about? But hopefully there's something here that captures some truth. Again, please feel free to correct me if I'm misremembering anything or if I missed something.

[insolentgod]

reminder extremely tough and maybe a little harsh.

a lot of folks gotta work themselves to death just to have a halfway comfortable life, some don't even have the basics. many will have to do crazy stuff for money and others dream of giving their loved ones a good life but can't. some will only be able to see luxurious lifestyles on phone screens or in other people's TikTok accounts. and others don't even have the money to pay for internet to see that.

lots of people will spend years hating themselves, hating their appearance, personality, social life, social status, skills, everything about themselves. many live with insecurities, feeling like a supporting character in their own story, some have things that bother them but it's "impossible" to change them so they'll just have to live with it. others spend a fortune on surgeries or treatments to change something about themselves, and many die because of it.

many people will have to live trying to recover from traumas and bad things that hit them, without knowing how to simply erase them from their lives, and unfortunately, some prefer to end their own lives so they don't have to live with those burdens.

many people will have to face horrible diseases, some they simply can't get rid of and others that are incurable. suffering, waiting for a miracle to free them from this torture.

some folks may never achieve their personal goals and dreams, out of fear, lack of opportunity, lack of means, or because they think it's impossible for them. so consequently they will have to surrender to a mediocre life that they hate.

many people will have to spend years in shitty relationships without knowing how to get out, others will see the love of their life being happy with someone else, others will think that love only serves to deeply hurt them, and others will accept horrible things from their partners because they think they don't deserve anything better.

a lot of folks unfortunately live out there lonely, without love, without a good social circle, without friends, with an abusive family, with people who don't want the best for them, with people who only hurt them and make them think that's what they deserve.

you might think I'm a jerk for talking about such harsh examples and I'm sorry if I hurt anyone, but damn..

all these examples I mentioned are really sad and they leave us with a heavy heart thinking that a lot of people go through this. I think everyone deserves a dignified and happy life, you deserve a dignified and happy life. you don't deserve to be like those people in the examples I mentioned, and you're not. because you have a key in your hands. it's like life is a damn game and you have all the hacks and cheats to simply WIN and do whatever you want, while other people don't even dream of that or are too skeptical to try.

but you know what's funniest about this? it's that this shit ain't just any game, it's your life. it's literally your damn life and you're there playing with the law? saying "oh I can't" "oh persisting is too hard" "I think I'll never have my desires".

girl, I'll kill you if you keep thinking like that.

there are folks who just don't take the loa seriously, and that's why they never fulfill their desires!!!!!!!!!!!! and they won't have anyone to blame for their failure but themselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the LOA community is very small, discovering about it was extremely lucky. so tell me a good reason why you know about it and simply can't manifest? exactly. there isn't one! you can and you should.

I'm not here to judge your difficulties in manifesting (even if I judge everything and everyone), because having difficulties and keep trying is one thing and simply giving up and saying "I can't manifest" is another.

it was a blessing from the universe, God, higher power, whatever you believe in. you discovering LOA was the damn greatest blessing of your life, don't you see that? don't you really see how blessed you are? maybe in the past you've been through hell, but now, my love, the sun is shining for you, you just have to want to shine. unfortunately a lot of people will never have that luck, there are people who would kill to be blessed like this. so please, I beg you... use this tool and have the damn happiest life you can, enjoy it and stop playing with the law.

tell me what do you really want? a true and light love? have a look that would never make you feel insecure again? being the pride of mommy and daddy and having their love? having that beautiful house and a happy family? finally healing from depression or other mental disorders and finally being able to live to the fullest? friends who really care about you? want to meet that idol you've been a fan of for a long time and that everyone thinks your passion for him is silly? want to live in that country far away from everyone? want to stop feeling that guilt or any other bad feeling that has been tormenting you for a long time? want to be truly happy for the first time in your life? want to be rich, a millionaire, billionaire, trillionaire? or just have enough money to lead a comfortable life and never have to work again? go ahead, tell me what you want. you can have it.

stop suffering, you don't deserve to suffer. enough torture. take what's yours and move on. you're strong enough for that. the game ain't over for you, you can't just give up like that. the game is yours, it obeys you, and it ends when you decide. take freaking control.

i suffered a lot in life, i hope one day i have the courage to tell you about my success here. and I simply don't know what I would do without finding out about LOA, just thinking about it fills my heart with gratitude. I feel like a winner. you deserve to feel this peace of having won too.

God bless you. take care of yourselves and put your head to work.

i ain't that selfish. if you need some backup, im here for you, babe. I wanna see you win. 🌟

[astrow0rldx]

PAC: Messages to your mental health 🌑

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

yoooo everything came out creepily clear. take what resonates tho & use your intuition to pick a photo.

Pile One:

｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ

(OVERALL: Queen of Pentacles & The Empress. also: 2 of cups, Ace of Swords, three of pentacles, & the star.)

Self worth, Self Value. A lot of you are trying to find & embrace your femininity. Be grateful, live in gratitude. Be grounded, be responsible. "Don't be a Lady, Be a Legend." Focus on building the life you want because you deserve it. Your beautiful, Your safe and secure, Your everything you need.

I could see that your probably focusing on a connection, could be platonic or friendship, but any type of bond in your life. You might have something you want to know about them, and need some clarity. You might want to build with this person, a connection, a goal, anything. Have Faith be Optimistic.

It's not saying this is a bad part so if this has not happened YET, if theirs a person in mind you might need to talk about, and build with them on some type of plan you guys have going on. Let them know information.

Bonus; I picked an artist that came in my mind & shuffled:

Of all the ones Of course I'd want the one who doesn't want me Of all the thoughts Of course I'd think that you'd know how to love me

But damn, I wish you did Oh, what I would give Just to be in your possession But I won't influence Or try to convince You, that I'm the right decision

(Heavy Taurus & Libra energy)

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Pile Two:

｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ

(Overall: 8 of swords, Judgement. & King of Pentacles, Five of pentacles, Wheel of fortune, The Chariot, Strength.)

Overall you stressed out & you need a blunt. lmao.

By the picture you picked & the cards, you need your bag. and your probably feeling a lot of lack in your life. you feel like material will make you fulfilled & secure. your trying to have hope but what you need to do is use that Chariot & Strength energy. Chariot don't fall to obstacles, neither as Strength. You can get it if you want to.

I see that overall is the 8 of swords & Judgement. So you may be, what should I call it. Delusional & Heavy Anxiety. Stuck in your overthinking, floating in your anxiety and judging yourself & everything around.

Instead build on your insecurities so you can chase the security to make you feel fulfilled. Not trying to scare you, but their may be entities around, or just energy like people in your life that don't want you to enlighten & grow. mentally, emotionally, financially. They want you to be stuck in fear & judgement. An emotional frequency that's scientifically stronger than Love is Authenticity. So if theirs a certain college path, or some type of path or thing you personally want to uniquely do, do it!

..... my username is literally astrow0rldx. So I'm going to refer you to your astrological chart. Look at the house of your Uranus for what you should be different in & revolution. If your feeling stuck & need some more strength and responsibility, look at the house of your Saturn for where, but how to express it in your daily routine is the planets or signs in the 6th house. And if you want to know what you should become in this life, look at the house of your North Node for your life purpose, your Sun for where to find your identity, your chart ruler or rising sign for the big bingo on the outlook you should have on it. and your Midheaven/Planets on the 10th house that everyone talks about, which is how people are going to see you, as a place in this world. your reputation in society.

I shuffled:

Can't stand it, backhanded They wanna see us fallin' apart You know that I love you So let me into your heart

Let me into your heart Do you really love me? I'm gon' get you, girl, ahh

Girl, you really got a hold on me So this isn't just puppy love

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Pile Three:

｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ

(Overall: Five of Swords & Hanged man. & Wheel of fortune, Nine of wands, Ten of cups, Death, & Ace of swords.)

So my stomach dropped before I pulled your cards. Are you guys emo's, or am I talking to fellow witches. Are you down rn, cold, resentful, vengeful? Casting spells, ready to kill or something.

Your feeling competitive ready to fight & go to war. Has there been an ending, some news you got. HMMM.. very dark pile. for some people, could be the complete other way around where your the victim in the situation. and your feeling defeated, defenseless & that fate is just beating you down.

I shuffled:

OMGGGGGGG! The music video looks just like the photo you picked- ummmmmm. Motels could be literally significant. Very dark music video, prostitution, casual sex. Money, drugs, Sex trafficking, Kidnapping.

What do you mean? Oh, oh When you nod your head yes, but you wanna say no What do you mean? Hey, yeah Better make up your mind, what do you mean?

You're so indecisive of what I'm sayin' Tryna catch the beat, make up your heart Don't know if you're happy or complainin' Don't want for us to end, where do I start?

First you wanna go to the left, then you wanna turn right (Right) Wanna argue all day, makin' love all night (All night) First you're up, then you’re down, and then between ('Tween) Oh, I really wanna know

You're overprotective when I'm leavin' Tryna compromise, but I can’t win You wanna make a point, but you keep preachin' You had me from the start, won't let this end

[karenandhenwilson]

People break. Sometimes just a small part of them. Sometimes it happens very unexpectedly about something that wasn't much of a problem until just a moment ago.

I think that's what we saw with Karen in this episode. And I hate that people just dismiss it as a weak storyline, or an unnecessary storyline, or coming out of the blue and therefore being unbelievable.

Actually, it coming out of the blue is exactly why this is so believable. 

Mara is back home, but that's not been long. And at first, it didn't look as if it would ever happen until Bobby managed to manipulate Gerrard to help them. Those emotions are still raw. And after they got told in court they weren't allowed any contact with Mara going forward, it probably looked as if there wasn't a chance at all to spend Halloween together for a while. How much time went by between the court hearing and the city council meeting? How long weren't they sure they'd see Mara at all for any of the upcoming holidays?

Now everything might be good on that front. Mara is back home. But the doubt and fear is still lingering in Karen. It's also a change for her in her role as a mother again. She wasn't able to fulfill that role for months, no matter how often they spent time with the Hans. It's a situation they all need to settle in again and that takes time.

You can't tell me Karen isn't thinking about the missed memories of these months of separation. And thinking about how near they had been to miss this Halloween. Which I can very well see would lead to thoughts about holidays Hen missed in the past, how Karen had to deal with Denny and his disappointment on her own then. You all remember Christmas of season 3 where that was such a huge deal, too?

They have this huge party with all of them in full costumes days before Halloween. And they have fun and are creating memories (Jee-Yun growling at her Dad!), but it's not the real holiday. And it is not just Mara's first Halloween with them, it's her first holiday with them, period. And they hadn't planned anything for Halloween because everything was still so uncertain not that long ago.

But now it's all different again. Their family is whole again. And they could have a chance to spend it together. If just Hen didn't have a shift. And so Karen voices her concern and her wishes. And Hen sees that and promises to try. Because of course she wants to spend these days with her family in the end.

But then Hen is swayed by not wanting to slight her best friend, by thinking about Chimney's comfort more than her family's comfort. (Remember season 5 when she offered to chase after Maddie with Chimney without a thought of her own family?) So instead of either Chimney or Hen being able to spend the holiday with the family, they both decided to work and leave Karen alone with all of it. Instead of arguing that the Wilsons have gone through hell while Chimney wasn't separated from his daughter for months; instead of suggesting to just toss a coin so at least one of them has a chance to be there with their children they just decide for everyone to lose.

And that's when Karen breaks. When everything suddenly feels too overwhelming, especially the thought of being responsible for three children while they're out Trik-or-Treating. They're all three good kids. But they'll be excited, the streets will be super busy, their excitement won't just vanish when they're back home and she needs to wrangle them to bed. And there was a chance for Karen not to be alone with all of it, but Hen and Chimney prioritized their friendship over their families.

And Karen just feels left alone and disappointed and airs that frustration.

(And on another note: What a bullshit, Hen, to then turn around and put the burden on your teenage son to look after the two girls in support of Karen! You know, you could have also called Bobby again and asked if that offer was still on the table because you hadn't considered that Karen might need help with the children.)

[fairyminnie444]

when i persist i always get thoughts like "what if my desires stay in imagination ans never externalize?", "if i do this in a certain way then i won't get my desire", etc, thoughts like those and they always seem so important and like if i don't give it real thought then my desires won't manifest. and there's always more thoughts like those that come to mind. any advice?

I have the same thoughts, sometimes even more, like "I need to do something to manifest and I can't stay still because if I don't I won't receive it or I don't deserve it”

This is the logical part of the brain wanting to shape us, so first we remember it’s normal, its part of process so we shift focus to what we already know and what is actually true. How?

1.Understand the Nature of These Thoughts

• These doubts are not the truth—they’re simply old mental patterns trying to protect you from disappointment.

• They’re a sign that your subconscious is working through resistance. This is a good thing because it means you’re challenging limiting beliefs.

2. Don’t Fight the Thoughts

• When you resist or argue with these thoughts, you give them more energy.

• Instead, acknowledge them and let them pass. For example, say to yourself:

• “This is just a thought. It has no power unless I give it power.”

• “I see you, but I choose to focus on what I want.”

imagine the sky and these thoughts are like clouds passing by, they don’t mean nothing cause u don’t agree with that and u don’t believe in that.

3. Redirect Your Focus

• When a doubtful thought arises, gently shift your focus back to your desired state:

• “Even if this thought exists, I know my desire is already mine.”

• “I trust the process, regardless of what my mind tries to tell me.”

4. Reframe the Fears

Let’s address the specific fears you mentioned:

• “What if my desires stay in imagination and never externalize?”

• Reframe: “Imagination is the foundation of reality. If I can imagine it, it’s already on its way to me.”

• Neville Goddard teaches that imagination creates reality—the 3D always catches up to your inner state.

• “If I do this in a certain way, I won’t get my desire.”

• Reframe: “There’s no wrong way to align with my desire. My persistence guarantees my success.”

• Remember: it’s not about perfection; it’s about your dominant state of being.

5. Use Affirmations to Neutralize Doubts

Affirmations help override negative patterns. Use ones like:

• “Doubt is powerless; my imagination is the true reality.”

• “My desires are inevitable, no matter what my thoughts say.”

• “I trust the process of creation completely.”

6. Practice SATS or Relaxation Techniques

When doubts feel overwhelming, use Neville’s State Akin to Sleep (SATS) or relaxation to anchor yourself in your desired state:

1. Lie down in a relaxed state, close your eyes, and visualize your desire as if it’s already done.

2. Feel the emotions of already having it.

3. Let this state soothe any doubts.

The more you practice SATS or similar techniques, the less attention your mind will give to intrusive thoughts. It's a process and the more you do it and the more natural it is for you, the less you will have these thoughts.

7. Remind Yourself of This Truth

Your dominant feeling and belief determine your manifestation—not every passing thought. Intrusive doubts don’t have the power to stop your desire unless you dwell on them and make them dominant.

Summary:

• Acknowledge the doubtful thoughts without fighting them.

• Redirect your focus to your desired state.

• Reframe fears into empowering truths.

• Use affirmations and SATS to anchor your belief.

You don’t need to figure everything out or get it perfect. As long as you persist in the feeling of your wish fulfilled, the 3D will catch up. Trust yourself—you’re on the right path.

Ps *mostly important*: Don't overwhelm yourself, don't do anything that seems forced or false, if it's a moment of very intrusive thinking remember: NEUTRAL STATE before affirming. Take your time, there’s no rush it will come for you.

There is nothing that can stop you from receiving what you want if you believe you already have it.

[bunnyinfoxclothing]

Do you have anymore chaggie rants? Would love to hear em

You're in luck. It's 2 am again and I have awoken to more head cannons and ideas.

If I do more of these most will probably be about Vaggie, because I love my girl.

that being said:

Vaggie is a self fulfilling prophecy that Charlie simply won't let happen.

So for anyone who doesn't know. Self fulfilling prophecies, in psychology, refer to someone who has an expectation or belief that can influence their behaviors, thus causing the belief to come true.

Vaggie is someone with abandonment issues (Chaggie mental illness twins)

Charlie is someone who wants to never be alone, so holds tight onto whomever she can, and is extra forgiving in wanting them to stay. (I will expand on this if anyone wants)

Vaggie on the other hand, expects abandonment to be excruciatingly painful. It's not a logical thought nor is it even a conscious one. She just has a feeling that the moment she messes something up she will be left hurting.

That also means that anytime there is even the slightest fuck up, Vaggie will run away. She preemptively leaves to avoid that hurt.

But Bun that's not a self fulfilling prophecy

Gimme a sec i'm getting there.

Now Vaggie also doesn't have it in her to fully abandon Charlie. She has heard Charlie's fears of being alone, and can never do that to her.

That being said, this is where she starts treating Charlie like Charlie is going to abandon her.

Isolation

Reduced Physical Contact

One-sided Emotional Disconnect

Manipulation

Vaggie does anything to distance herself emotionally from the situation while still being there for Charlie.

If this is prior to being in a relationship it is spending more time in her own room. If it is post relationship it is just more time spent doing different things. Where they used to do chores together Vaggie will outright just start on something without telling Charlie, or work on something else entirely.

Vaggie isn't as touchy with Charlie, maybe not cuddling up to Charlie, but letting Charlie cuddle up to her. Only participating in physical closeness if Charlie initiates.

Being there for Charlie emotionally, but dealing with all of her emotional turmoil on her own.

Purposefully painting herself in the worst light possible at any given situation in an attempt to 'be honest' to Charlie about who she is. Hiding the good things because Charlie knows the good things, but pointing out every bad miss step she herself has taken since.

All of this is in an attempt to emotionally disconnect herself to what is coming and push Charlie towards the abandoning her, so she has control over when it happens.

And Charlie just doesn't let her.

Charlie isn't always 100% aware of when Vaggie goes into this self destructive behavior.

So sometimes it's just a moment of: Charlie feeling overly affectionate that it forces Vaggie to be unable to do one or a few of her isolation tactics.

And Charlie is just so proud of her for being honest, and their in hell so what more could she expect...

And so Vaggie just fails at distancing herself, so eventually when the guilt goes away Vaggie is just left still in Charlies arms like... huh?

And other times, Charlie is fully aware of the self destructing train wreak that is coming.

So she talks Vaggie through it. She provides ample times for Vaggie to comfort her. Gives Vaggie every once of praise every time Vaggie does something for her, just so in Vaggie's tally, the positive things she has done far outweigh any bad Vaggie can come up with.

Charlie turns up the charm, to wear down Vaggie's walls and force her to ask for cuddles. Then cuddles Vaggie until she's squirming out of Charlie's arms.

Charlie casually gentle parenting Vaggie's manipulation tactics like:

Well, yeah sure you could say that you placing your spear by the door was a tripping hazard, but if you think about it, it was very kind of you to leave your spear by the door so we can have a more comfortable cuddle time. And while it wasn't nice for me to trip on it, and it could have been very dangerous for any of our guests to trip on it, we have seen in the past that a lot of dangerous people come to the hotel, so thank you for looking out for us. How about next time we find a safer place to put your spear, so that it is still near the door, but out of the way. Does that sound good? Perfect.

And Vaggie is forced to be like. Oh, yeah, my actions are easily fixable. Why was I so stressed before?

[pistatsia]

Isagi Yoichi: problems with anger expression

Clickbait, right? One would think that what kind of anger expression problems could there be with a guy swearing on the field with war-crime level insults and joyfully bringing a child a few years younger to tears?

The kind where one derives from the the other.

Now, let's figure it out.

To do so, we'll have to go back to Isagi's novel (hoshi801_ translation is used for all of the quotes). From it, we know that Isagi grew up as a quiet and shy child. "He never gets into fights with his friends and never disobeys his teachers."

Nevertheless, it ended quite simply then - thanks to Noa, he learnt how to express his anger and negative feelings. Problem? Only on the football field. The novel says he "was fearless in running into his opponents, as if he had never been a crybaby." 

He was winning, and what he liked best about football - his football, Noa's football - was the beauty of Noa’s playstyle brutality. Because that's what made it an acceptable outlet for him - fighting with friends is bad, arguing with teachers is not allowed - but on the football pitch you are free. You can be angry. Football became his safe space.

Except that then Isagi entered the root of all his troubles - Ichinan.

Even before it, the novel mentioned and emphasised Isagi's inability to express himself. For a while, despite this, his plans worked: the coaches let him play the way he wanted, and he didn't have to come into direct conflict with them.

But that trick didn't work in Ichinan - the dream school suddenly turned out to be somehow strange, and Isagi felt that he wasn't allowed to fulfil his potential here.

But no one on the team was unsatisfied by the current system.

Even before the conversation with the coach where he was ridiculed Isagi had tried to test the waters. Specifically to test - he doesn't say anything outright in fear of being rejected. "Uhm, Tada-kun… don’t you think there’s something wrong with this?" he asks his club mate very cautiously, while in thoughts having more direct “Huh? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?”. It's written out separately in the novel that "he watches the expression on Tada's face to see how he'll react" - Isagi already has problems. He's already learnt that he can be rejected if his opinion doesn't coincide with the majority - especially since the conversation wasn't taking place in 'football territory', where he was more or less able to talk straight. 

Having an opinion for Isagi means isolation.

But he still tries one last time - one that finally cracks him up, convincing him that the others know better and he just needs to be patient.

In the novel his friends are "Surprized, seeing the quiet and obedient Isagi talk to the coach" - again, he is used to keeping quiet and not risking. Still, he dares to - and is immediately ridiculed for allegedly trying to "show off". 

And this is what finally kills in him the will to resist. Because losing his friends and football is more terrifying for him than losing himself.

What does the novel says about Isagi after this episode? "He is afraid of being disliked for being assertive", "always timid", "compliant". "When his friends get excited, Isagi would say something like this: “Uh, yeah… me too”."

"He just goes with the flow."

Isagi agrees with Tada's taste in girls, agrees to eat what he doesn't want to, pleases in every way possible just so he won't be abandoned. He obeys the coach's strategy, and even on the field - the only thing that gave him joy and was a safe place for him - he ends up obeying the rules his surroundings have imposed on him.

He doesn't try to argue, he doesn't try to prove anything - he just chooses the safest path, the one where he doesn't do anything and doesn't fight, but he stays safe. Not abandoned.

What's the conclusion?

Isagi doesn't know how to express anger at all. He just hasn't learnt it because he hasn't tried it. And most importantly, doesn't know how to express it correctly.

Why is it necessary (and important) to know how to anger correctly in the first place? The point is that for the mentality anger is a kind of marker that lets us know when our interests are violated and our needs are not satisfied. Which by its presence helps us to build boundaries and achieve what we need. Anger is the power and energy to change an unpleasant world to suit us and achieve our goals.

But Isagi was shamed for showing negative emotions and for any attempt to express himself. He was shown non-verbally that any expression of self and attempt to argue, even just a different opinion would be received grudgingly, that you had to agree on everything, that if you tried to argue you would be rejected and not only that, you would lose the football.

And Isagi tamps down the anger inside himself - he no longer stands up for himself, and holds back the anger to the last, storing it up inside for years.

He develops a ban on anger.

And in general, not just anger - any negative emotion. He is unable to express even the despair of losing to Kira correctly; he tries to suppress it, to muffle it, the novel explicitly states that he attempts to lock it up inside, but in the end, having overflowed, this despair against his will burst out in a scream. Isagi suppresses all negative feelings in general. Aside from the crying part, this repressed anger is evident even in the first chapter, when he imagines the goalkeeper in tears from defeat, and dreams of crushing Kira. Without saying it out loud, though.

And in that 'against his will' lies the main problem of why exactly anger needs to be lived out properly. 

Because otherwise it'll spill out just like that scream - desperate, seething, expansive, and the worst part?

Uncontrollable.

What is the danger of not controlling the expression of anger? Why can't we just hide it inside and keep smiling, without causing anyone problems and without wasting the resources of our body on it, just adjusting? Yes, in doing so you lose your freedom of expression - so what? 

Because anger doesn't disappear over time. It is put inside layer by layer, day by day. 

And sooner or later you can't hold it back.

In life this rarely ends well: if a person holds themselves to a completely unhealthy level of control they may at some point experience an episode of derealisation - when repressed feelings become so abundant that the brain rolls out one of the strongest self-defence mechanisms - detachment. If it doesn't? One goes off the rails: he overreacts to the smallest of things, he is thrown from one-time hook-ups to drugs and alcohol. The accumulated anger begins to destroy from the insides.

But Isagi, as an adaptation specialist (unconsciously, most likely) has come up with a great answer to this, learnt from childhood and from the show with Noel Noa. Which one? Express anger where it would be considered normal.

Blue Lock with on-field swearing works for Isagi for many reasons at once. He got Bachira, who showed him that there's nothing wrong with expressing his angry-self - he'll be accepted, he would even be welcomed, it's okay to be angry! He got Chigiri and Kunigami, Nanase and Hiori, dozens of people accepting him no matter what (but in personal conflicts outside the field he usually still doesn't know how to behave - he prefers to withdraw and wait for things to resolve themselves - but that's for another time). Here, also, the issue of survival came into play, as expressions of anger and rage were cultivated by the Ego itself, sometimes specifically manipulating the players to do so.

There's also the application of the familiar pattern of his pre-Ichinan childhood ('I play football as rough as Noa - I'm doing well, I'm not alone, and I achieve my goals because it happens on the field, so it doesn't mean anything'), the general tense atmosphere, and a fair number of trigger characters who would drive even a saint to their grave (heh, Kaiser, heh). Isagi in general has more to do with football than almost all of Blue Lock's characters. Manifestations of anger and determination as a child (on the football field!)? Noa. Manifestations of them now? Blue Lock. He continues to use mechanisms familiar from childhood to protect himself, adapting them to new realities.

(basically, even the fact that Noa is around - who, again, once gave little Isagi the opportunity to express himself openly on the field - can have an impact on the escalation of Isagi's behaviour around Kaiser and Bastards. Whose presence and support is associated with a safe expression of himself)

like father like son

And uncontrollable anger bursts out, but for now like water from a cracked jug - in jolts, strong and those impossible to shut down, but from just one place. The swearing at the match and the opportunity to openly express himself and his objectives (remember how he shouted at Noa that his system doesn't allow him to score goals hahaha) allowed him to relax, to partially release the anger accumulated over the years - all without any realisation on his part. He doesn't even have to do anything - it all resolved itself. He's not being rejected, he's playing the way he wants to play and yet he's angry! That's great!

And everything seems to be fine, right?

The problem is that Blue Lock's setting just isn't going to work in the long run. Ego will be there for the rest of the project - another 2-3 months - and for training for the World Championship, for the Championship itself, and... that's it. The project ends, Isagi flies off to play in another country, but who can guarantee that the environment for such an expression of anger will be replicated there as well?

At one point, access to the field and, in principle, to the competitive and encouraging environment for such expressions of character in Blue Lock is bound to be cut off. There are gaps between seasons, injuries, end of career, and the simple fact that such expression depends on how much the coach allows to players - at some point Isagi may well be silenced.

And then all the accumulated, bubbling anger inside, which is now used to being expressed regularly, will spill out - and not on the safe field, where much can be blamed on adrenaline, but on his loved ones, his career and himself.

[gotham-daydreams]

Lmao posting pure nightmare fuel without even a “hi, how are you?” after an entire month is one way to announce your return on Tumblr

How would reader be treated after they’re kidnapped?

LMAO YEAH- I fear that'll become somewhat common... I apologize! Though really, I hope y'all have been okay and I'm sorry for dying off the face of the planet as per usual... :']

Though, as for your question... it's a little complicated! Especially with how things end up going.

Some members of the family will definitely try to be more 'light' and understanding - as in most will let you get away with saying and doing some things here and there as long as you don't flat out leave or anything.

Sure, their feelings will get hurt if you insult them or get pissed at them in general (and rightfully so), but they'll take it as long as you stay. They are very, very desperate.

I can't say things will be good for... many reasons outside of the obvious, and that will become more clear once Chapter 4 is posted, and I mean very, very clear (you won't be able to miss it, trust me)- but they'll still try.. mostly because they're pathetic and very desperate like that LMAO

'Try' as in some will act like nothing happened, and try to pull the 'happy family' act which will work as well as you think. They'll be softer, more 'accepting' of any and all venomous words you'll throw at them (as in they'll just tolerate it), but they'll try to not do anything to make you more pissed off, and truly try to be a good family- which might piss you off more depending on who ya are, and their attempts are still more self indulgent more than anything as they are yanderes. Nothing they do is truly for your own good, comfort, or pleasure. It's all about them and trying to lessen the guilt they feel, along with fulfill that sense of obligation and so on-

Basically, don't trust it, it is very self indulgent no matter what, even if you also technically get something good out of it. Though at least you get something... better than nothing, right?

Just don't let them know that, they'll definitely try to do that more. The more you think of the good, the more (they're hoping) you'll associate it with them (even subconsciously), and... well...

It's all down hill from here, folks!

Nevertheless, expect some sparks of life here and there, I'm sorta back but sort of not- though I am trying to get back into the swing of things, especially with some personal projects i have in mind that (in my opinion) are much bigger than the Not [ ] Series, and much more thought out. Believe me, that thing is only a taste of what's to come :]

[almondest]

"Even if everyone is against you."

⨾ summary: discriminated by everyone else for your sudden appearance beside the well-known general, he reassures you with the love he will always have for you despite everything else.

⨾ pairings: Jing Yuan x F!reader

"Why the long face my love?" A voice rang through the room, catching your attention.

You were playing with Mimi, feeling its soft fur as it lay on your lap but quickly gets off to approach its master.

"You're back" You say, disregarding his question as you smile at him.

He makes his way towards you, kneeling down and gently taking your hand, caressing it. "What's up?"

"It's nothing at all...." You respond, "Really."

Silence engulfed your shared room, feeling the awkward tension between the two of you before quickly switching the subject. "Ah, that reminds me! I heard that there'll be an upcoming competition soon, will you be joining?"

"I'm not sure... Do you want me to?" He ponders while he plays with your fingers.

You quickly shake your head, "No... But, maybe?"

He chuckled, before taking your hand near his lips, kissing it. "I'll join in and win. And I'll dedicate the price to you."

He squeezes your hand, his eyes looking up to yours with a dangerous glow. "-that way, no one will ever say nonsense about you anymore."

You stared at him with your eyes glistening with brightness as thoughts swirled around. 'He'd participate... Only for that?'

His eyes were looking down, as if it was stuck in a train of thought.

'Suddenly, I seem to understand his actions towards my communication through our peers. From his affectionate touches from time to time in public, his hands connecting to mines as we walk through the vast garden of greenery and flowers, His deathly glares towards those who looked at me with disgust and wariness. He's always concerned, because he's afraid that I might get hurt.'

"About what happened today..." I speak, his eyes who were adrift to the moonlight gazed at mines.

'But even at this moment...'

"Actually... " His eyes widened in range as I tell the events that occured and I look at him with such longing.

'...I hate that I want some certainty about his love for me.'

"They said I was too arrogant and so, filled with so much anger... I accidentally spilled tea on one of the attendants..."

"...I apologize for making such a big mess, I took their words to heart and I doubted your love for me- " I try to send my apologies, but he cut me off.

"Wait, wait." He paused, sighing.

"(Name)." He stood up, taking both my hands to help me stand up.

"To me, You're the most important."

"So whatever happened today and what you heard, just tell me. Don't keep things from me my love..."

Tears slowly stained my cheeks one by one and found my arms slowly wrapped around him. 'I was scared that he'll get mad that I felt, and acted this way just because of that.'

"Yuan. If I truly mean the most to you...Can you fulfill my wish?" I ask, feeling his heart beat.

"I don't have any reason not to."

"Then, Please don't get sick of me." He sighs, resting his head on my shoulder as I feel his warm breath.

"What kind of wish is that darling..."

"Everyone tells me... That your affection for me won't last, and you'll get bored of me."

He scoffed, "Who said such nonsense to you? You know that I'm not that kind of man."

"-Is it because of what they said that made you ask for that kind of wish?" He let go of your embrace, his eyes looking at you with such affection, gentleness, and care.

"Those people aren't just strangers, they've been around you for a while, That's why I..."

His hands made their way to your shoulders, his white locks covering his golden eyes.

"Will you feel better... If I gave you the lives of those people who sent such thoughts in your pretty little head?"

You held a look contorted with fear. "You mustn't do such a thing!"

"Shouldn't a husband fight for his wife's honor? I'll be willing to do anything, just to make you feel all better and free from such thoughts."

"Jing Yuan..."

"So please tell me. What must I do to stop you from hiding and crying anymore..."

He kissed you passionately on the lips, on the cheeks, and on the forehead before bringing you to his embrace.

"Even if everyone is against you. I'll be here, I'll protect you, I'll love you. And I'll never get sick of you."

NOTE! — did you get it? I hope you get it🫥 let me retell. So basically some of Jing Yuans close attendants or whatever you call them (jus workers who worked for him for a long time that he basically considers them as friends) told you things like blah blah blah since you were an unknown existence to them not until be announced his marriage to you and he entered the room seeing you all sad and gloomy and all and then boom🫨

[galedekarios]

I always come to your blog for the devnote deets so I'm curious if you know what causes the ORI_Gale_State_WillingToDie flag to be True or False for Gale? It comes up in so many dialog files but I'm totally unsure how it actually triggers

from what i could gather it depends on which options you pick during gale's last night alive scene / act ii romance scene.

there are several options the player can take that have a flag called 'ORI_Gale_Event_PushTowardsDeath'.

these are all options that encourage to make the ultimate sacrifice on mystra's instructions / don't actively discourage him:

Player: You're right. At least this way, you might take the Absolute down with you. [Gale gets pushed one step towards death] Gale: I can only hope that there are few innocents within the Absolute's reach, when the time comes... and that you will seek safety, far away from me. Gale: Stay with me a while, will you? Day will come all too soon, even in this place. Player: I'm not going anywhere, Gale. I'll be by your side, whatever dawn brings.

Player: You speak as if this affects you alone. How many will die if you unleash what's inside you? [Gale gets pushed one step towards death] Gale: Fewer than if the Absolute goes unchecked. I don't want to kill, and I don't want to die... but inaction will lead to bloodshed all the same.

there's an opposing flag set to this, which is ORI_Gale_Event_PushAwayFromDeath and it's tied to the following option:

Gale: There is no point in running from the inevitable. Better to meet it, on my own terms.devnote Player: Nothing is inevitable. Not when we face it together. You don't have to die. [Gale gets pushed one step away from death]

the flag that gets set here (ORI_Gale_Event_PushTowardsDeath) is what will later trigger the ORI_Gale_State_WillingToDie and ORI_Gale_State_EagerToDie to be set and it's already apparent in the follow-up conversation after the act ii romance scene / last night alive scene:

Gale: I was hoping to speak to you, as a matter of fact. About the night you were kind enough to keep this melancholy wizard company... Player: Go on. Gale: I suppose one might say I'm rather adrift, to be honest. Since our conversation, I'd resigned myself to my fate. Each day bore the possibility of being my last, and I accepted it. Gale: I'm only standing here now because I failed, to put it in rather blunt terms. Mystra is unlikely to let me try again. Yet, even in spite of that - I'm glad to have more time with you. Since you still have me, was there anything else on your mind?

there are quite a few options that reflect that mental state in gale as well. i've added a few here, but there are more:

Gale: The Absolute should be a thing of the past, and I with it...

Gale: I always imagined what it would be like when you finally got to meet her. This wasn't quite what I pictured. Gale: I thought we'd be in Waterdeep. You, curled up before a roaring hearth while I prepared us a ridiculously extravageant meal, served with a batch of my homemade hundur sauce. Gale: I fear mine is a dream for another life. But a fine one nonetheless. Gale: As for this one, I think we've still got a world to save. Unless there's anything else? - Player: It's a date. Gale: I can hardly wait. devnote: Gale still intends to blow himself up. He knows he'll never make the date.

Player: How are you feeling? Gale: Trying not to think about what lies ahead, if I'm being honest. I'd have hoped to spend our final moments together somewhere more romantic, but it seems we won't have much of a say in the matter.

Gale: I regret many things in my life. Choosing to be here, intact and unexploded, is not one of them. Devnote/NoteContext: Trying to convince himself a bit here, he knows he 'should' have killed himself

Gale: When the time comes for the orb to fulfil its purpose, I will think of only one thing: Your face. Nothing else will matter.

[tarotwithavi]

What first impression will your future lover have of you?

Let's find out what first impression would you leave on your future lover / future spouse / long term partner .

⚠ these pictures do not belong to me. This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest that doesn't.

If you want to support me please leave a note.

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Thank you for your precious time! I hope you have a great day! ily ♡

PILE 1

Hello pile1, I'm really excited to interpret the cards you got! So first things first I'm getting that they will see you as someone who is not afraid to stand out of the crowd and do your own thing. Like you're not afraid to try new things . You are not afraid to dance without music, sing out loud, smile at strangers, do your little silly dance while eating something very delicious. I'm also getting that they'll see you as someone who can smile and laugh in stressful situations. You're someone who stands out of the crowd. You bring happiness wherever you go like sunshine or some of you might even be called by that nickname. They will see you as someone who has seen and experienced a lot of things in life. I'm also getting that you can meet them in an educational Institute or at someone's birthday party/ wedding/ etc. Of course these are not the only situations you can meet them but the one's I'm getting specifically. Also they'll see you as someone who has been through the same things as them , you both could mirror each other. They'll see you as someone who is emotionally mature and available. Someone who's not afraid of commitment. I'm getting that they'll see a mother/father figure in you because I see that they might have mommy or daddy issues or both idk. They'll see that you are not what you show the world. You could literally be crying on the inside but still have a smile on your face or vice versa. It's like they'll see right through you. They will see you as someone whom they'll like to settle down with or start a family with.

I'm also getting that if you're a closeted gay/lesbian/bi/trans they'll also see that because they have been in the same situations as you. They'll see that you're stuck somewhere and they'll help you out. This person can even be your gay awakening if you know what I'm saying. Leo / Aquarius / Taurus signs are really coming out here . Numbers 2,5,10 could be important for you. You'll see rainbows when you meet them or this could be important.

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PILE 2

Hello pile2, I feel like some of you might be attracted to pile 1 so make sure to check that out too. Okay so let's start with your reading. Your future lover will see you as someone who works for themselves. Someone who is not a slave of others and knows their worth. They'll see you as someone who won't settle down for anything less than what they desire. They'll see you as someone who is not affected by the words of others and always has their heads high. Someone who is very strong both physical and mentally. I'm getting that some of you can have curly hair/wavy hair or your hair will stand out the most to them. Someone who can offer a fulfilling relationship but they'll also see that you'll not be looking for a relationship at that time or it may seem like that to them. They'll see that you have abandonment issues and you don't want to be Left behind in the crowd. You fear that people will replace you with someone and that you're not anyone's first choice/priority, but that doesn't stop you or have any control over you. You shine for yourself. You're free like a bird and always put yourself first. They'll see you as someone who shines the brightest even when they are just sitting down reading a book or sitting in the corner with their headphones on. You'll be very noticeable to them. They'll see you as someone who is firm on their words and thoughts, if you decide to do something you'll do it nothing can change your mind. Another thing is that they'll notice your eyes first. You might have cried a moment before or they'll see a lot of sadness in them.

You might be rude to people or don't really interact with people because you fear that you'll unintentionally hurt them. But for some of you I'm getting that you guys will not just give your time and energy to people easily. If someone wants your time they'll have to work for it. Your future lover will find you very adorable and cute no matter if you will be younger or older than them. July month could be important for you. They could have K, V, U, A in their name.

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PILE 3

Hello pile 3 , how are you guys doing? I hope that you're doing great! Some of you might have been attracted to pile 2 too. For you I'm seeing that your future lover will see you as someone who is hungry for success or wants to achieve good things in life. Someone who is working hard for their passion. They will see you as someone who might struggle with choosing what's good for you or just not very in tune with your thoughts and actions. You might meet them on your way to achieving something , on your way to success or when you will be getting recognition for your work. They'll see you as someone who's very artistic . You might be listening to music, getting praised for your drawings/sketches etc. When they will notice you. They'll see you as someone who's very spontaneous and doesn't stop easily . For example if you have completed a task or work given to you , you'll find another one soon. You always try to keep yourself busy as if you're scared of your own mind. They'll see you as someone who's very popular or well known. Very attractive and charming too. They'll love the way you deal with people like not being rude but still proving your point? Something like that. They'll love your voice too. You might have a low pitched soothing voice. They'll think that you are their destiny. The person they have been waiting for. They'll see you as someone who is goal oriented. It might be a love at first sight for them.  You could even teach them a different language or your mother tongue. You might have a different cultural background. They'll see you as someone who has a lot of money, is very abundant and someone who comes from a rich and wealthy background. But also someone who needs to find balance in their life. Sometimes you might take up two works at a time or be involved in two different tasks, so that can be overwhelming for you. Also someone who goes from transformation or you will be going through a transformation when you meet them. Someone of power. White rabbits could be important here or they could give off the vibe of a bunny. Also white animals are very important here

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[peripaltepsy]

You said you had tips for dealing with hypochondria, right? - Entity

yeah, sorry for the late reply !

So, first of all, check on your necessities as soon as any panic starts. Are you thirsty, hungry, need to use the bathroom, tired? Fulfilling your needs will help a lot

I had 4 stages of recovery.

First stage: actually believing that I had x condition; I wondered if it was just anxiety but the fear was winning.

-> I would google not the symptoms I were "feeling", but the actual condition I thought I had. Notice how most conditions, when acquired, will take some time, like 3 days before onset. I'd think to myself, there's no need to stress right now; if I do feel these symptoms in 3 days I'll worry only then. (And then the symptoms never occurred lol)

-> Identifying triggers: literally anything can be an anxiety trigger, even things you'd never think of. I got anxious at a specific time of the day: 4 pm to 6 pm. Foods with white flour can trigger anxiety too. Chocolate also triggered it for me. It's up to you whether to avoid or deal with stuff (I for example, chose not to avoid chocolate since I already rarely ate it.) If you choose to avoid, keep in mind it's only temporary and you'll be able to expose yourself to these triggers someday

-> THE FAKE SYMPTOMS YOU'RE FEELING ARE EITHER THE ANXIETY OR NORMAL BODILY STUFF THAT YOUR HYPERAWARENESS IS PATHOLOGIZING.

Example: heart racing? Anxiety. Shivering? Anxiety.

I once got super worried because some parts of my face were warmer and others were cooler. But this is literally NORMAL.

I also worried because I felt the moisture inside my mouth and throat. It's NORMAL AND NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL

-> If you're able to, go to a low-stimulating place. When I was in school I'd go to the bathroom and play music. It was just a 3 minutes break but I needed that. At home, I'd also lock myself in the bathroom but I'd watch latino shitpost compilations :)

-> I think one of the best forms of distraction is comedy. Have some youtube channels and tumblr pages etc bookmarked.

-> Remember, how many times did you really have the condition your hypochondria was telling you? Zero. ZERO!!!! IT WILL ALWAYS BE ZERO!!! THAT BITCH IS A LIAR!!! XD

-> You can ask friends to help ground you and remind you that the anxiety is wrong

-> sometimes anxiety is developed out of nowhere, but if you can find a "why" you developed it, that's good

Second stage: Knowing it's just anxiety, but the fear of having x condition/dying was still in my mind.

-> thats because your subconscious doesn't believe that your anxiety is caused by a concrete perceived thing; it still assumes its caused by a nebulous grand illness or something. Keep talking to it and asserting its not an illness but actually just X trigger. It'll take time but YOU'LL SUCCEED

-> There's not much to do. Just distract yourself and keep fighting the anxiety saying it's wrong.

Alternatively, if you're confident enough and grounded, you can be the bigger bitch. "Yeah so what if I got x?" "I don't fuckin care" "wow I'm so scared /s"

-> Activities that require active focus like doing the dishes are good distractions as well

-> Panic attacks = anxiety of anxiety. You can't force them, so if you confront something potentially triggering heads on and are aware of your anxiety coming up you'll be able to prevent feeling Real Bad.

Example: you're going to read an article about an illness and know it's gonna trigger you. So you click on it, you're not afraid of feeling anxiety, you're just aware of what you're gonna feel. You start noticing your breathing becoming shallower and think "the anxiety has begun". After reading it you go relax a little with the yt channel you bookmarked, for example. You're aware that your anxiety could use that new knowledge against you (aka it can be a new trigger) but you don't care because YOU'RE the one in control, YOU'RE the bigger bitch and won't let it dictate what you should do or not.

-> KEEP THE GIGACHAD MINDSET : Despite being neck deep in the hypochondria ocean in high school, I wanted to study stuff relating to healthcare in college. I didn't care that I could potentially get triggered everyday, I'd find a way to deal with it. And then I managed to beat hypochondria before entering college!!!

-> Ultimately, (and this may not suit you) what led me out of the second stage was a buddhist meditation called Maranasati. I used to do other types of meditation as well; maranasati is "death awareness meditation". Basically you just confront death and illness heads on and learn to be at peace with them.

Third stage: Knowing it's just anxiety

-> On this stage, the "health anxiety" part of your anxiety is gone or almost gone.

Just ride the bad vibes until the anxiety symptoms subside. And use the coping mechanisms and distractions as well.

Fourth stage: I got so evolved I can cut panic attacks as soon as they start

-> on this stage, I can immediately identify when something is making me anxious and think "oh, X thing is making me anxious"; and the panic symptoms immediately quiet down and stop; since the knowledge that yes, that concrete and perceived thing is the cause of our anxiety is anchored in my subconscious.

I hope anything I wrote can help you, good luck, beat that bitch into a pulp :)

[barbs111claims]

I'm sorry to bother you, but I've seen some of your posts and I would love some helpful insights on the matter that I'm dealing with rn :) I feel/know that my thoughts are mostly about my current 3D, not because I want to persay, and not bcz it's bad, but just bcz I have my online career that I'm afraid if I go live in my 4D with my thoughts, I'll stop working on my online biz the way I want to. Don't get me wrong, I want to permashift. But it's just in the back of my mind, that fear of if I let go and let my mind be consumed by my dr, I won't get anything done (from experience) And uk that fear of what if this isn't even real, so basically I end up in this circle of.. wtf should I do? Also when I decide that I am in my dr, I go by my day literally not even thinking abt my DR most of the time, and once I remember it, I get this guilt of "omg you're not doing what you should be doing to shift or manifest or bla bla" It would really help if I had some kind of insight in this matter since I've been at it for so long, and tbh I just feel that if someone tells me what to do, I'll feel a sense of comfort in a way.

I totally get you but I want you to really understand that, You are more powerful than any circumstances and You are definitely not your 3D.

You the god of your reality. You create reality. So would a god be thinking this?

Trust me, I shifted. I'm not saying this to 'afirm' or to live in the end in imagination yada yada. I actually shifted and saw my altered reality thru my eyes. Shifting is definitely real.

I understand that you feeling only fulfilled on 4D makes you feel like you are dropping your 3D but trust me its not. You can do whatever you want in your 3D and still know that you are in your desired reality because you said so.

If you feel 'living as if' is hard. Just do other methods. I prefer LD. I just live my 3D and go on my day but I would through out the day be excited for the arrival of night so I could LD and shift to my DR.

Or any other methods or even just an intention before sleep.

You are perfect already. You don't have to do this certain techniques to shift. You decide how you want to do and what you want to do.

There is no frustration cause you are the actual creator of life.

[blackveildreams]

Kinktober,Day 1:Shigaraki x Fem Reader whim

Hi! Yes, I'm sorry for not starting this on time, but I ended up in the hospital because I broke my left arm, and let's just say that it wasn't easy to write with one hand, luckily I'm right-handed, so that's not going to stop me from making lemon smut stories for this month, I'll try to upload the stories I'm missing, I need rest but I'll try to update, I promise, but I feel exhausted, don't worry, I'm fine, I'm writing this from the hospital and nothing more serious happened than the broken arm

--------------------"Whim"------------------

Shigaraki's eyes are like black holes, cold, dark, capable of devouring you without saying a word. His gaze is deep, penetrating, it stabs into you like a dagger made of ice. Every time he looks at you, he does so with a relentless, calculating seriousness, almost as if he were evaluating each of your movements, each breath you dare to take in his presence.

It's a look you can't avoid, like a poison that slowly consumes you, enveloping you in a mix of fear and attraction. The silence between you is overwhelming, charged with tension, and his brow, barely furrowed, tells you more than any words could. He doesn't need to speak to let you know what he thinks; the disdain in his eyes is like a bolt of lightning that cuts through the darkness.

You can almost feel his latent anger, contained in that dangerous stillness. He doesn't explode, he doesn't shout, he simply watches you, cold as an impending storm. Every time your eyes meet, you feel as if the world is crumbling around you, as if the only reality is the sharp edge of your gaze, which sees everything, knows everything, and is ready to disintegrate everything that does not meet its expectations.

"You know I won't," you reply firmly.

Shigaraki moves like a dark bolt of lightning, his speed almost imperceptible, leaving only a trace of tension in the air. In the blink of an eye, his hand is placed behind you, close to your back, so close that you can feel his presence like an invisible weight, but with an almost disturbing care not to touch you. It's a gesture full of control, of power, as if he could destroy you at any moment but decided not to, not yet.

Your eyes meet his, but yours are full of annoyance, a mix of tiredness and defiance. It's as if you're fed up with that threatening closeness, with that game that always seems to have the cards in his favor. Despite his speed, the intensity of his movements, your gaze remains firm, fixed on him, as if you were telling him without words that he doesn't intimidate you, that you won't submit so easily to his will.

Shigaraki doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to. His silence is a statement in itself, one that seems to float between you both, heavy as a storm cloud. The coldness in his eyes, that calculating calm that always surrounds him, envelops you. But you, with your gaze full of disdain, remain there, impassive, knowing that no matter how fast he moves, he won't be able to touch what you don't allow him to.

Shigaraki, his voice low and full of power, speaks

“Fulfill my command” he orders you to fulfill his wish. The words fall between you like a hammer on an anvil, echoing in the atmosphere thick with tension. At his command, a sigh escapes your lips, a sound that mixes frustration and resignation. His gaze, piercing and cold, holds you, and you feel the weight of his expectation on your shoulders.

You look at him wearily, as if each word he speaks is another burden on your already exhausted soul. There is an internal struggle, a battle between your will and the imposing force of his presence. The room seems to shrink around him, as if the air is becoming heavier, harder to breathe. Yet as his eyes remain fixed on yours, you understand that there is no escape.

Finally, acceptance flows through you like an inevitable river. “It’s okay,” you murmur, the surrender in your voice like a fading echo. His smile unfolds before you, wide and dangerous, like a snake slithering through grass. There’s a dark glint in his gaze, a hint of satisfaction that makes your skin crawl.

With an almost nonchalant movement, he drops down onto the couch, his body settling into place with an eerie grace. Shigaraki’s hands fall to his sides, resting with calculated ease, but his energy is palpable, vibrant. He watches you with the expectation of a hunter who knows he’s won, and you, caught up in his game, brace yourself for what’s to come.

You kneel before him, the world around you fading to a distant echo. Between his legs, you feel trapped in a labyrinth of conflicting emotions; the position gives you a strange mix of power and vulnerability. Your hands, despite the tension in the air, move with determination, undoing one by one the buttons of his pants, the sound of each click resonating like a blow in the silence that surrounds them.

The action is almost ritualistic, each movement a step towards an uncertain destination, and as the zipper slowly lowers, your heart pounds in your chest. Time seems to stretch, each second feeling like an eternity. The fabric parts, and with it, the revelation of his bulge becomes a frozen instant in your memory.

Looking up and finding his face is a challenge. Shigaraki's gaze, cold and penetrating, is fixed on you, and despite what you have decided to do, a hint of annoyance settles on your features. Why are you always forced to do his bidding? That sense of frustration is intertwined with confusion, and you feel like the role you play is one you haven’t chosen. The spark of rebellion burns within you, but right now, you feel helpless, trapped in the web he has so carefully woven.

His smile, wide and defiant, sends a chill down your spine. It’s a reminder that, despite everything, he is always in control, and you are just a piece in his game. As his gaze bores into you, you feel the weight of his expectation, a reminder that surrender is nothing more than a trap disguised as release.

"You're a fucking bastard, and you know it."

"Tell me what you want, but you'll like it sooner or later, it's just a matter of getting used to it," he said.

Your lips part slowly, receiving the tip of Shigaraki's prize with a mix of tension and defiance. You feel it, cold and heavy, brushing your tongue as your eyes lift up to him, shining with impenetrable seriousness. You look at him, not with submission, but with a spark of annoyance that cuts through the air between you. In that instant, your gaze is a silent battlefield, where power and resistance clash, without words, but with the intensity of the unsaid.

Your movements are deliberate, almost calculated, as you hold him in your mouth. There is no seduction in your eyes, only that shadow of impatience, of weariness that communicates more to him than any gesture. You know he senses it, that he senses the tension in every muscle of your face, in the way your lips wrap around his prize with a precision that seems to hold the weight of everything you don’t say.

In that moment, you’re not the one giving in; you’re the one controlling the pace. The annoyance you radiate is like a wall he can’t break through, and there’s more power in your silence than any words could ever carry. Every glance you throw his way reminds him that this isn’t an act of pleasure, but of control, of marking the ground in this battle of wills where you, without saying a word, have taken the reins of the game.

Your lips, trembling from the coldness of the act, envelop Shigaraki's bulge, but instead of passion, you do so with a latent, almost palpable annoyance. Every movement of your mouth, every kiss you place, is nothing more than a heavy burden, a gesture you carry out by the sheer force of your will, but far from any true desire. Your lips close around him, but in your mind all you feel is that shadow of annoyance, like a dense cloud that envelops everything.

Every time you suck him, you do it with precision, but with a coldness that feels like a barrier between you. The air is charged, not with lust, but with an uncomfortable silence that surrounds everything. Your eyes, although fixed on his body, are distant, as if what you do is just an empty act, a choreography that you repeat out of obligation, not by choice. The caresses of your lips are superficial, more in search of finishing than prolonging the moment.

Annoyance is reflected in every kiss you place on his prize, as if every brush of your mouth is a reminder of your disdain, of the distance between you. Even as his body reacts, you feel your discomfort growing, an echo that resonates with your every movement. There is no tenderness, only the friction of the inevitable, of an act you endure more than you enjoy, and in that contrast, the power of your resistance shines brighter than any other emotion in that silent room.

Your body reacts before you can control it, a deep spasm runs through you, and in the midst of your cough, you feel the drops of white liquid escape from your lips, staining the air with its presence. You sit up, your eyes fixed on Shigaraki, and the seriousness that invades you is as palpable as the discomfort in your throat. The words form quickly, a curse that leaves your mouth like a whip, sharp and full of anger.

But he only looks at you, with that twisted smile he always wears, as if he had enjoyed the power he wielded at that moment. His eyes shine with a quiet malice as he watches you, and before you can find more words to curse him, his voice, slow and calculated, breaks the silence.

"You did a good job," he says with that disturbing calm, as if what just happened was a trivial act. "You can rest in peace now."

The air feels heavy, laden with something indescribable as you listen to him. There’s a pause, a moment where time itself seems to stop, and then Shigaraki smiles again, a cruel curve to his lips.

“Though… who knows,” he adds in a carefree tone, “maybe he’ll ask for a second round. Or maybe something more.”

His voice echoes in your ears, and that smirk of his, mocking and dangerous, leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, a mix of disgust and frustration. You know he’s enjoying every second, every word he throws out like subtle blows, and even though your skin stings with the desire to scream at him again, you’re caught up in the echo of his words, in the veiled promise that this isn’t over yet.