#it fucking sucks bc i rarely let people in and then when i do; shit always happens

[chicagodilfpunk]

this past month has been insane. my love life has gone to shit, my relationship with my mother has gone to shit, everything is a mess and nothing is making me happy

[jellinuy]

(saw your announcement so imma get this in real fast) post jjk! ( everyone lives bc gege is a menace) gojo, reader, and suguru living together :3

( roommates! )

౨ৎ incl. satoru and suguru.

౨ৎ a/n. first time i've actually written something that's NOT a drabble in like forever. can't decide on a format!! also i thought of reader being like their shoko, so this is completely platonic! urrghhh sorry this took me forever

living with the strongest duo would include...

Big house, first of all, because Satoru bought it. I’m talking, like, the three of you live in a penthouse, big.

Two VERY different sides of the house. Satoru's messy room consisting of strewn socks on the floor and food containers littered across his desk and an unmade bed and not a single cell in his brain to fix any of it until you or Suguru get on his ass: he says he has other things to worry about.

On the other hand, Suguru is something of a nagging mother when it comes to his sector of the house. Clean sheets every week, clothes in the hamper immediately after taking them off, shoes in his closet in a neat row, etc. You and Satoru like to joke about him having OCD.

Late night snack runs!! It usually starts with one of you complaining about being hungry at an ungodly hour, way too late for snacks but craving snacks anyway. It’s usually Satoru who gets you two up by video calling you from his room, making noise until you can’t take it anymore and decide to get up.

Suguru does most of the cooking. Satoru isn’t bad at it, per se, but he’s too lazy to try and so are you, let alone make big enough batches for three people.

Suguru is also lazy at times, but less than Satoru, so you two designated him as your personal chef.

Of course, there are always days when none of you feel like cooking — those are Satoru’s favorite days. You’ll order takeout (with his money), heaped in a tangle of legs and arms across the couch as you eat and binge watch whatever you three happen to find.

Suguru usually makes you guys lunch for work or school if you ask. Or even if you don’t.

Pillow fights! Or any kind of play-fight that involves throwing things at each other. They're usually initiated by Satoru when the mood strikes, and he'll literally beat you and Suguru over the head with pillows until the stuffing is everywhere or until you physically can't breathe.

A group chat! Satoru’s a frequent texter, Suguru not so much, whether it’s to show you two a picture of a stray cat he found, to ask what’s for dinner, or to beg for something.

Strangely though, when you or Suguru question him on why the trash isn’t taken out, he goes quiet.

Those two are the kind of boys who come into your room to knock something over and just leave without closing your door.

Movie nights are a must on weekends, unless one of you is extremely busy. That’s how the three of you unwind without really saying you need to unwind. You cuddle up on the couch in pajamas in one big messy heap and turn on a movie (based on who wins rock-paper-scissors) with a mountain of sugary and salty and spicy snacks at your disposal.

The three of you trust each other completely, so deep conversations are occasional, but comfortable. Neither of them would judge you for crying or being anxious or anything, and vice versa. When you need a hug, they��re there for that, too.

It’s not rare for the three of you to share a bed, or even cuddle. Granted, it took some getting used to at first, but now none of you find it weird, and it’s comforting to have a 6 foot heated body pillow, especially during the winter.

You three have an insane amount of inside jokes, and you bicker like siblings. Anyone who doesn’t get it would probably be concerned how much you insult each other.

“Shut the fuck up Suguru, didn’t you used to swallow balls?”

“Oh, shit.”

“Satoru, aren’t you still a virgin??”

“Fuck you! Y/N, what the hell are you laughing at, didn’t your date flake on you the other day??”

“Suck my dick!”

And then you’ll go back to whatever you were doing before like it didn’t even happen.

Whenever you or Suguru need to go shopping, you usually ask Satoru to Cashapp you before you go. He pretends to put up a fight, but to a guy who sees $2,000 as pocket change, he really doesn’t care. Hell, take one of his cards, go nuts.

[wcnderlnds]

stupid for you | peter maximoff

SUMMARY: you and peter fall out and he makes it up to you in his own peter way WORD COUNT: 928 WARNINGS: some swearing. A/N: idk what this is but writing peter is my fave so he gets all my dumb ideas ❤️ p.s. if the format sucks it’s bc im mobile.

It wasn’t like Peter had meant to upset you. Sometimes his mouth didn’t have a filter and he said things before even thinking about it so when he called you ‘annoying and needy’, he really didn’t mean it. He wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t the type of person to ever want to upset you or anyone for that matter. So when he’d seen you walk away hurt and upset, that had sent him right into action. He just had to make it up to you — make you see how important you really were to him. It gnawed at him inside that he’d been the one to make you feel that way. Never before had he ever felt so bad. So guilty.

He’d spent the whole day trying to think of what he could do to apologise then suddenly the idea hit him. Maybe it was a little stupid, maybe you’d completely hate it but he thought it’d be cool. Different. It’d be something him.

Meanwhile, you’d spent the day moping around the X-Mansion. The training session you’d had earlier had helped distract your mind but as soon as it was over, your thoughts drifted back to Peter. The fight the two of you had had been so stupid. All you’d done is made some comment about Peter needing to slow down for a minute and listen to you and it had spiralled from there. It wasn’t often the two of you argued. In fact, you never really had. In the whole six months you’d been dating things had been going smoothly. Things had been so easy going, so fun — it wasn’t really a surprise that something was bound to happen to ruin that. When things were going good there was always something that had to come along and mess it all up.

With a sigh, you started to head upstairs to your room when suddenly a blur of silver and blue rushed past you. Before you could even blink Peter was stood right in front of you, his hands hidden behind his back. Your arms wrapped around yourself as you looked at him. “Hi.”

Your nerves were mirrored in his face as he spoke. “Hey. Uh…”

The silence fell between you. It was awkward — something that didnt happen often when it came to you and Peter. Just as you were about to open your mouth to say something he began talking.

“Okay, just let me talk for a minute before I chicken out. I’m not good at this shit. I’m not the best at filtering the stuff that comes out of my mouth. That’s why I’m always getting myself in trouble. You know that but the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. You gotta believe me on that one. If I could, I’d punch myself in the face. I mean, I could but… I can’t break the goods, y’know?” He laughed lightly, trying to ease the tension.

“It’s my fau-“

“Gonna have to stop you there, babe,” he said as he pulled one of his hands from behind his back and held it up to signal you to stop. “Can’t have you taking the fall on this one. It’s all me. A Maximoff fuck up special. That little switch people have in their brain where they tell themselves to shut up before they say something dumb? Yeah, turns out mine is broken. Probably wasn’t born with one actually. I’m not letting you feel bad for this. It’s all on me, okay? I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

A small smile tugged at your lips. “It’s okay. You really don’t have to apo-“

“I do, I really do, though. Felt bad the second I said what I said. You’re not annoying and I love when you’re clingy. I love you wanting to be around me as much as I want to be around you. You caught me on one of those rare days where I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe Scott even pissed in my cereal or something, who knows. Point is that I messed up.”

“Are you gonna stop cutting me off?” You asked, an amused look on your face as you listened to your boyfriends rambling.

“Oh shit, sorry. My bad. The floor is yours.”

“What I was trying to say was that you don’t need to apologise because I forgive you anyway. We’re gonna mess up sometimes and I know you didn’t mean it. It was just hearing it come from you that upset me, I guess. Anyone else I could take it but you? Your opinions and thoughts about me matter the most. Can we just forget about it and move on?”

“Sure, yeah… but first…” he finally pulled his hand from behind his back to produce a Lego bouquet of flowers. “These are for you and lemme tell you, it was hell trying to put this together.”

“…you got me Lego flowers?”

“Duh. This way they last forever and you won’t have to worry about watering them and you can always remember the time your boyfriend was a dumbass.”

You laughed, taking them from him. “How long did it take you to put it together?”

“Might have cheated and used the ol’ mutation but I kept messing up. Some of the pieces wouldn’t fit where I wanted them to and I almost got mad and thr-“

“There’s instructions, you know.”

“Are you gonna stop cutting me off?” He grinned, hands on his hips as he echoed your words from earlier.

”Smartass.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

[l13]

what kinda kinks do you think hobie would have? :33

first of all i wanna apologize for this lazy ass writing i'm just UNHINGED i've seen so many hobie edits my mind cannot take this madness i'm seriously in love with him it's not a joke anymore, like i need him bro, I N E E D HIM

NSFW 18+, MDNI

❥ i haven't heard a lot of people say this about hobie but i think he'd REALLY like power exchange, like let my MAN BE A SWITCH PLEASEEEEEE guys please trust me okay hear me out, picture this: hobie laying naked on the bed, chest rising and falling rapidly as you continue to jerk his cock in an torturously slow pace, he's already cum once, so his hips jump every time your fist closes around his tip, and he's groaning, the sound trailing off to a breathy chuckle as he glances up at you, grinning lazily "Y're killin' me, y'know that?" throw in a little nipple play and man's GONEEEE

❥ definitely and i mean DEFINITELY likes dry humping ohhhhh?>>my god??? literally starts as a joke on the rare occasion he sees you bent over, or braced against a counter or smth, he HAS to come and hump you, and it's fine cause you literally do the same thing to him (you're the one that started it). the first time you did it he had laughed the sound giving you goosebumps as he glanced at you over his shoulder with a tiny smirk "You're mental,". but then proceeds to do the same thing to you every chance he gets. One day, you just rolled your hips back against him and the whole vibe changed. You shivered when you heard him inhale sharply from behind you, and his hands circle around your frame to pull you closer. and then he's thrusting against you hard, his clothed cock rubbing against the swell of your ass making you both moan as he drops his head on your shoulder to pant, "About fuckin' time,"

❥ random horny thought and not really a kink: he loves fucking you doggy style in front of a mirror, hand holding you by the throat, his fingers skimming your jaw as he tugs you back to him every time he thrusts forward, his other hand holding onto your ass securely as he snaps his hips against you. And then he's pulling at your throat and suddenly your back is flush against his chest, and the hand that was holding your ass travels around to your pussy to circle at your clit. You're both moaning when you tighten up so much around his cock "Look at you," he's groaning, snapping his hips up instead of forward and your mouth drops open in a silent scream as his cock touches that spongy spot inside you, and he's moaning "Yeah? Right there? You're so fuckin’ pretty, baby, should be fuckin’ illegal," and you're mewling, “You’re so good to me Hobie.. Can feel you so fucking deep inside me oh my God-” “Shit- don’t say that or I’ll cum-” DAAAAAMN okay i got sidetracked again

❥ lil bit of a voyeur maybe, he'd take you even at a secluded space at HQ (would first make sure if you're 100% in tho) he'd fuck you against the wall, with his hand over your mouth as he mutters against your shoulder, "Wanna hear you so fuckin' bad.. but we can't, right? Can't let them know how much of a good girl you are f'me.. Ah, fuuck-S only for my eyes."

❥ CONSENTTTTT consent turns him on so much- and let me explain okay imagine you're just getting ready to suck him off, unbuttoning his jeans, still giggling at his face when you'd said "no, the belts stay on," and then your fingers are finally under the waistband of his boxers and you're looking up at him- "Can I take these off?" and he's so confused bc he's never actually had anyone else ask him that question before "Wh- yes?" and when his cock is finally out in all its glory, and you're licking your lips, you ask again, "Can I touch it?" he can't hold back his smile this time, letting out a giddy laugh, "Baby, 'f course you can, you don't have to ask," idk he just thinks it's the hottest thing ever

❥ extra crack hc cause it just came to me: imagine him being like "You wanna try slapping me in bed?" and you're just looking at him like he's grown two heads but nod slowly nonetheless "....sure?" and then you actually slAP him like 10 minutes later and he's like :C "That felt personal love, m'feelings are kinda hurt." and you're just apologizing over and over and he's laughing at you- "m just playing wit' you. but yeah absolutely not doing that shit again,"

[moonshynecybin]

the way Marc’s diplopia issues in MotoGP could translate so well into concussions episodes in a hockey AU (just like Sid…)

the head injury of it allllll.... its crazy because motogp injury is USUALLY (not always) caused by incidental contact or a personal fuck up. "racing is a contact sport rubbing is racing" okayyyyy but not like hockey lol. in motogp you USUALLY arent making contact on purpose (no one crashes for fun) and when you DO make contact it is almost ALWAYS on the limit. while often hockey injury (ESPECIALLY HEAD INJURY) is caused by a hit. could be a dirty hit could be a clean one, but usually its cuz a guy decided to hit you very hard with his body personally. theres a lot more.... agency in the injury? which feels bad bc not everyone is running around concussing people but i think its fair to say theres more interpersonal violence with INTENT to be violent even if its like. a fairly innocent shove on the forecheck. touching people on purpose. cause and effect. you are injured because of someone. thats comparatively rare in motogp

all this to say. known injury weirdo vale (and i hesitate to mention this but part of the reason he is that way is BECUASE he was involved in a tragic accident that injured another person). in a contact sport. vs marc. famously most injured man alive including in his head. in another sport that LOVES to ignore concussions. add famous rivalry. add playoff hockey hit lenience. and i can see marc (head already fragile/diplopia'd up when he was in juniors) falling weird when vale is trying to muscle him in the corners and getting his noggin absolutely scrambled. and now we have to deal with vale as CAUSER of marc injury. where he's out for months. in a dark room. doing his eye exercises and cuddling shira and MAYBE it was during the playoffs so alex had to convince marc not to try and get on the fucking ice and vale is in the same city all the time feeling like his heart is getting pulled out through his SPINE because its one guy to convince yourself a rival is evil it is ANOTHERRRR for injury weirdo to actually and for real hurt someone he loves. like if you look at them in motogp thats not vale's bag at all during the marc years. even with him being a criminal against sete in 2006 he never pulls that shit out post sepang 2011. and i think if he managed to actually INJURE marc. well i think he might feel so bad he shows the fuck up at this door

so its. hushed tense voices in the hall (alex and vale). vale climbing into bed with him in the dark. holding ice over his forehead. playing cards to keep him occupied and off his phone. reminding him to do his eye exercises. taking him to appointments contacting the diplopia specialist... and marc is brain foggy and confused and needs comfort and just WANTS IT so badly that he doesnt question it too much... lets himself take a little... and vale is there... like truly vale LOVES to take care of people, acts of service is his love language, and he is. FANTASTICALLY guilty. so hes trying to fix it anyway he can. but then the playoff series passes. and marc gets a little bit better. and there isnt a REASON for him to be there. and marc might be edging on asking him wtf hes doing there in the first place. and one day marc rolls over and vale is GONE.... because hes like okay. well marc is better now so i should go WALLOW in my GUILT. which of course to vale looks like pretending it never effected him at all while being secretly very kind about the whole thing. because he SUCKS !

[averagetmntfan]

a special thank you to my moots.

(TW: suicidal thoughts, ig?)

ahem- so as I have mentioned, today is my 1 year old this platform! I honestly cant believe it’s been this..long? A lot has happened, too. And honestly for the longest time, it wasn’t going well. Like- at all.

(rant continues under the cut:)

I’m don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Im doing much better than before, so it’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just giving some brief context for my 2023- early 2024 school year.

so, I made this blog a couple days before the whole situation went down. Which I think I briefly mentioned on here.

so for a bit, I had felt very uh- isolated in my friend group. I had kinda always been the odd one out. We had different interests. Their sort of fun was hangin’ out, gossiping and what not. And I was into cartoons, and art. I never really told them, though. There were sorta judgy, and I was very insecure. Because they make fun of people. And I didn’t wanna end up by myself.

But anyways- usually, they’d all leave. And tell me to watch their stuff. And since I’m sort of a pushover irl, I didn’t really argue about it. But when I say all of them leave-? I meant all of them. All 4 of em. And it often did upset me.

also they’d talk to people I didn’t even know- which, okay yeah- but I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t wanna get dirty looks. I’m not a very outgoing person. I like to think I keep to myself often.

So, Halloween comes around. And this stuff doesn’t end. And for a bit more context, one of my friends was getting super annoying by me. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me, like- at all. She easily got annoyed at me. And only me.

so she went to the Halloween dance- last block of the day

blah blah skip to after school and I text the group- “where are u guys?” None of them respond. So I search a lil bit, then head outside. Where- guess what? All of them were.

I asked “Why didn’t you answer the text?”

and my friends that gets annoyed at my easily said a snarky “my phone was off.” And was generally just being fucking bitch. And I use to be a big crybaby and stuff- and eventually grew out of it. But this- this sentence really upset me. I stormed off, avoiding all of them.

eventually I got on my bus and- well. Uh. Let my feelings out, if you will. I remember it very cleary, too. It was one of the most tears I had shed in a long time.

I get home, and the girl texts the gc, clamming I stormed off for “no reason” and I had enough. Saying smth “I obviously didnt storm off for no fucking reason”

a bit more of arguing keeps going, and a lot more sobs. It was one of the worst days I had ever had.

a few more days go by, and the situation gets worse. I avoid all of them, and hung out w/ a diff friend. I ranted/vent to her, telling her my friend was a Hippocrate for complaining about our other friends leaving, even tho she did the EXACT same fucking thing.

Which, was talking shit. So that wasn’t great and rlly bad of me. And I guess karma hit hard bc she texted me after school, saying I was talking shit abt her. Bc my friend was friends with her friends. So..awkward..

and really- the next day, it was over. I was free. But at what cost, really? I lost all my friends. Became an outcast, really. It was pathetic, now that I think about it.

for the rest of the year, I rarely spoke to them. And never talked to the other girl.

I spent most my time in the library, reading. And skipping out on eating. I was so unhappy. I don’t wanna say depressed but- very close.

it really made me hate who I was. It made me feel like a terrible person.

And that’s when I really did start using Tumblr more. It was sort of an escape, of mine. And god, I’m so glad I set up and account. I Met do many amazing and unique people one here.

This is sort of corny but, I really think this has helped me through a lot. Since a few months early I lost my privileges to tik tok, and discord. Which, yeah. Sucked.

but so many things had happened-! Joined a rp group, met a new online friend (which we are now very very close<3), found out about a LOT of facts, found other people who shared my interests!

so here we are, one year later.

it was really something. I’ve met so many wonderful people on here, man. Especially my moots. You guys know who you are. I’m not gonna tag you guys, but I’ll do a quick smth smth ig

FIRST OF- my first closest moots-!! Ghosty, cookie, Sleepy, Ally, And my Pooks, Ari. So many awesome things happened with these guys. A lot of funny moments, too. Lmao.

AND ALL MY RAMSHACKLE PEEPS- dew, anomaly, Schnozz, reboot, Bailey, lilac,- you guys are literally AWESOME UGH- I seriously enjoy every interaction I have with you guys. It genuinely makes me so happy

sorry this is super corny and stuff, I really wanted to make something meaningful for this. Thank you guys for being so amazing.<3

— jj

[r41nc4ndy]

Compiling my german Zip headcanons!

Made These during school, so there‘ll probably be some mistakes as I‘m not supposed to even bring my phone 😝 (update: hi yes I ended up continuing and finishing this at home)

one of my moots lowkey motivated me to do this

Hope you enjoy this!

CW: Mentions of alcohol/beer, occasional swearing!

DISCLAIMER: These Are Just normal HCS, no x Reader or x Character.

Do not cry "you‘re racist!" As I was both born and raised in Germany.

Some of these are based off of things I as a german have experienced or heard.

———————————————————

☆ I already mentioned this in another post, but she had her first drink of alcohol free beer at the whopping age of 12.

☆ Curses the ever living shit out people in German whenever she‘s really annoyed.

☆ Sneaks beer into school and only shares it with Oliver, Edward and SOMETIMES Miss Circle (Favorite Student privileges)

☆ I feel like Engel at least speaks German, so when Zip, Oliver and Edward are bullying Claire and Engel (as well, I‘m assuming), she‘d throw in something WILD in German and Engel is kinda like: oh that‘s not.. 😀

☆ LOVES Bernd das Brot

☆ She would totally know "Komm, lass uns tanzen." by HEART (alongside Chip).

☆ Although it‘s rare, she sometimes lets out her German accent. For example, she‘s currently rambling and ends up pronounce the German R

☆ Says digga even if she‘s speaking english. It‘s permanently part of her vocabulary.

☆ Dresses with more drip than your average German classmate 💀💀 and she definitely judges them too

☆ When she was very, very young (like around Chip‘s age which I‘m assuming is like 5), she was a HUGE Bibi Blocksberg and Bibi & Tina fan. Had a lot of merchandise of them that she would NEVER EVER share.

☆ Would purposefully draw the ugliest outfits on the characters from the Top Model Books and put the little sticker clothes that came alongside on to the most brutal and metal characters ever.

☆ Always had Satch pencil cases. Thought they wer boring and drew on them. Free canvas lol.

☆ Loves saying German jokes in English to Edward and/or Oliver bc they make no sense in English.

"Hey, hey, guys. Can I tell you a joke?"

"If it‘s funny, go for it."

Zip, who‘s trying to control her laughing "Okay look, Two Hunters met each other."

"And?"

"They both died." Zip bursts out laughing.

"That makes no fucking sense."

"IT DOES"

☆ I feel like she has a little notebook where she writes a bunch of dumb stuff down, including many, MANY German memes only Germans would get. Meine Mama, meine Tante, der kleiner-

☆ Always has that German candy on stock (only for Chip, the coolest little brother!)

☆ Can open a beer bottle with literally ANYTHING you give her (except if it‘s a weak material, then obviously she can’t.)

☆ Praises German lunch knowing damn well it sucks ass. She only likes it because they got a mini burger and chocolate Santa once in kindergarten.

☆ Finds the raw existence of Frankfurt, Berlin, Mecklenburg-Vorpommern and Bayern so hilarious for no reason

☆ Whenever Engel tries to say something positive in German (idk in what scenario he‘d do this, but imagine he would), she‘d counter react by saying something diabolical in Germany (technically you could count this in another hc I wrote down.. oh well <‚3)

☆ Knows a lot of kid shows, German or not, but always prefers (and often times only knows) the German version of them like; Sofia die Erste, Jake und die Nimmerland Piraten, etc.

☆ makes fun of American food (it‘s so processed okay 😭)

"Haha! Seriously? That Fanta is basically just chemicals! Your stomach will LOVE that chemical burn!"

"Please let me drink in fucking peace"

—————

That‘s all for now! Should I write a German Zip FF? It won‘t be romantic and honestly only contain Zip being a menace but in GERMAN

[propertyofwhitney67]

About ur masturbation thing- OH MY GOD IM SOO GLAD IM NOT ALONE. Like, sure the build up can be fun (but sometimes it isnt because it takes so long) and then the actual thing lasts for like less than a second and its like, well, thats over then! I just do not understand when people say they masturbate often or talk about how great it is😭

It fucking sucks. Popular media makes it out to be this big amazing thing but it's kind of a let down. Yeah that was a nice few seconds of release but now it's over and I kinda feel like shit.

I rarely masturbate, I only do it if I really need to.

more personal under the cut

I have a weird past with masturbating since I started doing it very young despite not know what the fuck it actually was, there is probably something there I don't want to look too hard into. In like middle and high school I didn't really give a shit about masturbating or sex, probably bc of how depressed I was and the meds I was and still am on. It wasn't till I graduated did I get more interested in it but it fucking sucked. I didn't think what I was feeling was normal bc it wasn't like what media makes you think. I felt ashamed after every session and when I saw a post about ppl shitting on someone for saying something like that and decided to keep this shit close to the vest.

Idk it just doesn't really do much for me besides those few seconds that aren't really worth it bc of how I feel after.

Another thing is I can only get off using a vibrator, dildos or anything penetrative doesn't do a fucking thing for me. I also probably have vaginismus so it fucking hurts too.

[echobx]

Yeah the ending I can’t think of another death rn that was like his and shouldn’t have happened jj was mostly everyone’s fav and he was part like the core 4 of the pogues im seeing so many people saying they won’t watch the last season and I didn’t even watch part 2 of this season I saw what happened and was no point for me it’s going to be weird not having him at the premiere of the last season and bts I know something happened with Elaine and that pates they all unfollowed each other and one of the pates unfollowed Rudy so idk what happened but killing him off was so not necessary they could’ve done anything else he had dreams they never even let him have a good ending they let him have the ending he always thought he would have I can’t even look at pics of jj at all knowing what happens or read fics which sucks cause the was my comfort but it all feels ruined

I'm so certain that she's not at fault this time, at least not how a lot of people think.

we know Rudy didn't want the s3 storyline, he knew what they were doing wasn't in line with the JJ we got to know in the first two seasons. on top of that comes whatever happened bts with Madison and their falling out. so, if the execs hadn't forced jiara to be written after fans "demanded" it we would not be here. Rudy gave them an ultimatum in s3, either fix it or he's out after s4, and that's what we got.

the reason why s1 and s2 were so good was bc they had capable writers on the team, writers that cared. but, in Netflix manner (before strike) they probably fired those writers to save money and now we have this shit, two seasons that do not feel like the actual characters the way the first two feel. that's why we have a shit plot with female characters that suddenly have less depth than in the beginning of the show and stupid reveals that make no sense. like, I remember being at the edge of my seat when I watched Ward reveal himself the first time, but nothing in s3 or s4 does even come close to that in the slightest.

I understand why Rudy didn't wanna do it anymore and I hope he's happy in the future and I hope that people will realize that all parties involved in this drama are at fault. I know I rarely talk about Madison and Mariah, but those two aren't innocent and Madi isn't as nice and sweet as she makes herself out to be. I honestly just want him to find peace and be happy with what he's doing and not have to be forced to do another season of this shit show, bc that's all it's turned into.

I feel the same about the pictures and I think we all should just take some time and actually grief for this character as much as we need before we can go back to this space of redeeming him maybe and writing those fix it fics in which they are all happy and no one gets pregnant at 19 or has to go to the military or die. but first we need to let ourselves feel all those shitty emotions and not push them down bc that's not healthy, trust me.

I genuinely hope no one watches s5 because they don't deserve it. They don't deserve to see even an ounce of support from us after what they did to him. He was the most loved character on that show and they gave him the worst ending. It's not even a good death and then they even go so far as to show us that they burried him in Morocco and didn't even take him home to find his last peace. I'm so angry and sad.

Fuck the Pates, I'm never gonna watch anything they touch ever again. They destroyed everything.

[queenhawke]

ok here’s all my Thoughts about mq s3 and why it’s probably the weakest season so far.

tl;dr It just feels like they wrote themselves into a corner with how s2 ended and then didn’t know how to continue on from there. And it’s disappointing! It’s back to how it was in s1 where the only real strong character arc is Ian and Poppy’s, and the rest of the characters are just kinda… there to do funny stuff. And it’s not the worst thing in the world and they kiiiinda pull it together a little in the finale, but it’s disappointing because we know they can do good character arcs for all the characters simultaneously, because they did that in s2! Also fuck NFTs

Rest is under a read more bc I told y’all I’d write a novel

let’s compliment sandwich this so good things first:

The GrimPop storyline was good! Easily the strongest aspect of the season, tho I feel like Ian Winger-speeching himself out of the conflict was maybe a bit too easy? It was a good speech, I liked it, it fits their weird toxic codependent relationship well, but I would have liked to see him doing more for Poppy. Ah well, still good.

The bad is uhhh a lot. I don’t even know where to begin.

Actually let’s start with the metaverse/NFT shit, because it was shit and really soured me on the first half of the season. I get why these topics were included, it was a hot issue when they were writing the season, but it sucks how they were implemented. First off, it’s aged like milk, what with the multiple crypto crashes and NFTs kinda disappearing out of the collective consiousness (thank christ). Second, the fact that there’s no talk of the negative aspects of NFTs. Atrocious, especially concerning Rachel, who, being ostensibly the leftist of the group, should really at the very least have brought up the negative impact on the environment that NFTs/crypto has. Unfortunately, it does make sense why this happened. Ubisoft was one of the first game companies to use NFTs in their games, and Rob Mcelhenney owns one of those ugly fucking apes (I hope for his sake he’s sold it already), so he’s clearly invested in this shit. Obviously neither was gonna shittalk NFTs when they have such a big monetary stake in them. Hugely disappointing, but not surprising.

Now the characters... let’s start with Dana, because her “character development” was easily the most baffling to me. Like. Who is this? Where did this mini-Ian come from? This isn’t who Dana was. She had confidence, sure, but not Ian levels of delusional confidence. And like, what was the point of making her so much like Ian? How did that serve her character? Most she did was act like a kind of mediator between Ian and Poppy, but what did it do for her? The last ep kinda wrangles this into her being fed up with them and starting her own thing, but like, she was happy to hang out with Ian for most of the season. I dunno, I can kinda see what they were going for, but it doesn’t feel like there was a proper build-up to that final episode.

Let’s go to everyone’s favourite tumblr sexyman, Brad. Again, the last episode blatantly states his “arc” (working his way up to being in power again), but like. All the stuff inbetween doesn’t feel like it really adds up to anything. I mean, what did him being the janitor really... do. He acts like he’s up to something, but then he isn’t, and by ep 3 he’s already just doing HOMIE stuff again. I think it could have been so much more fun if he’d actually used his position as a janitor to weasel his way back into monetization. Like, digging up dirt on people and stuff. And again the build-up to the finale wasn’t really there. Oh, he wants a challenge now? He never talked about that. Where did that come from? Why not seed that more? Also, would have liked for his eating disorder to be addressed more. It’s so rare to see men with eating disorders on tv, it could’ve been something special. Maybe next season.

Rachel... I’m highly skeptical of her suddenly being “dumb”. Like sure, she was always shown to be a little airheaded, but it feels like they really turned it up to 11 and like... for what? It reminds me too much of how Britta was treated in later seasons of Community, and that was shitty then and is shitty now. It’s just wild to me that they’d have this whole arc in s2 about her finding her passion, and then they just throw it away. She could’ve been the new writer instead of the new HOMIE! Also, if she’s so dumb, how can she be made the new HOMIE at all. That’s a high fucking position, and you expect me to believe they just gave that to some rando ex-tester? I know MQ isn’t realistic, but I have my limits. And then they kinda lampshade that by having Brad be like “oh I engineered this” but that just feels lazy. Like my brother in christ you put her in this storyline, don’t act like it all meant nothing now. Also I know capitalism is a hell of a drug and I love me a corruption arc but could we for once have a leftist character on tv who like. Sticks to their guns and isn’t a massive hypocrite. Please.

THE LACK OF REAL STORYLINE BETWEEN BRAD AND JO. Hello he went to jail for her??? Hello?? Can we address this? Even a little? Maybe in the ep called TO CATCH A MOUSE?? It wasn’t even a mouse but you named it To Catch A Mouse and then you don’t have some sort of conversation between the mouse and the shark hello? Do I have to do everything myself around here??

Also, C.W. @kaitcake1289​ already wrote a good post on this but I’d just like to reiterate what a disappointment it is that his death seemingly has zero impact on anyone. And it could have been such a good way to tie all the characters together, which I think was sorely needed with how divided they were between MQ and GrimPop. The grief they would all feel from losing the studio’s weirdo grandpa could have been such a nice overarching theme. And it could all impact them in different ways and drive their arcs this season! Just a missed opportunity, and frankly a weird way to treat the death of one of the major characters. Even Pierce’s death in Community was more impactful, and he left because there was major beef between the actor and the showrunner.

I’m a bit hmm about the idea of Dana/Jo/Brad in their own studio, bc I just don’t think splitting the characters up like this worked out this season, but we’ll see. I hope they have an actual plan this time lmao.

Okay other end of the compliment sandwich uhhhhh. I think David’s arc was decent. It was nice to see him get along with Jo and to see him stand up for himself. Um. The Christmas ep was very good. Sarian was another banger backstory ep. In general there were loads of jokes I liked! I’m just disappointed with how the characters that weren’t Ian or Poppy were treated.

[ndntighnari]

Its weird being trans on the internet bc people will say shit and speculate abt the genders of strangers. And like. Ok. The whole "egg discourse" is kind of stupid to me bc like. If you are friends w someone, and you get trans vibes from them bc they're doing or saying a lot of the stuff you did before things clicked, yeah, it's more than chill to bring it up to said friend. Bc you know each other and are close to each other.

But like. You don't know blogs you follow, in most cases. You're not friends with every blog you follow, and I can almost guarantee you're not friends with the semi-popular blogger of the month/year/whatever, you probably have never even interacted off anon. They don't know you, you don't know them, not in any meaningful way.

So seeing the egg discourse going around abt if it's good or bad or whatever to speculate on people's gender is like. I moved to a small town from a city when I was 18. Openly trans, initially wanted to be stealth but that didn't work. People publicly speculated on my gender when I wasn't around. How do I know this? My mother overheard a lot of it. She stepped in most of the time to basically tell people to shut the fuck up bc it's none of their business. But the point here is I was a public spectacle, despite rarely leaving the house.

It sucked. Dozens of people around town were constantly arguing abt if I was a boy or a girl, but most generally just didn't care and only gave a shit that I wasn't cis. I overheard some of it. I was directly asked a few times. I didn't know ANY of these people that apparently fucking knew me, and every time any of them tried to gender me one way or the other bc of my clothes or attitude, I was insanely uncomfortable.

And all I can think is just. People who do that online abt strangers, even if their intentions are... Good? Are just as fucking stressful and anxiety inducing as the conservative people in that town who insisted I had to be my agab bc of my clothes or whatever. Insisting someone is one binary gender or another bc of the limited things you see of them is terrifying to the people being speculated about, even if you're trying to be supportive.

Just. Let people come out on their own if they even want to if you're not close with them, alright? The people who encouraged my actual gender publicly when I was younger were just as much of a threat to me as the people who insisted otherwise, because I wasn't being allowed to choose who I was out to. It was all or nothing because if one person knew, everyone would know, because that's how public discussions on real people work a lot of the time.

I don't live there anymore. I'm openly trans, still outside of the binary, and I'm lucky enough that I've largely been forgotten in that town as the first tranny most of them knew. I don't like walking around still, because I remember the looks and whispers.

Don't be someone who pressures people like that. Just respect people's boundaries.

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. last night we watched voy's "scorpion part i" and "the gift." I HAVE FINALLY MET SEVEN OF NINE

scorpion part ii:

ABSOLUTELY loved this one. idk why i was so surprised when seven turned out to be their borg liaison like i had no idea how they encountered her...i guess i was picturing them picking her up like a lost puppy because of hugh in tng

seven hot it must be said. we haven't gotten into the meat of it yet but i do like her. i was a little worried that after all this i wouldn't!

janeway dealing with the borg was sooo fun. literally her no-nonsense take-no-shit mode

i loved also that chakotay was the one to essentially borg meld with seven since he'd had the prior experience...mwah. give him a little borg trauma as a treat

i also really enjoyed janeway and chakotay realizing that seven was right - their fighting and going against each other is why they were losing. what if our future third reminded us that we needed to renew our wedding vows and we were both lost in space?

ESPECIALLY BECAUSE. like on what could have been her deathbed while she was slurring her words she made chakotay promise to do the thing. and immediately he decided to do the opposite even though it broke his heart. like SO TRUE they needed the reminder mom and dad were literally fighting

i have mixed feelings about janeway sort of forcing the detransition from borg onto seven. like yeah no human person wants to be borg especially not the little girl she was when she was assimilated but it's very hard to hear and ignore her wishes NOW when she's stating them so clearly, and when she's so obviously suffering. like i don't think she could have done any different or that i would have done any different but whew! rough

i also think chakotay was SICK with jealousy that tuvok got to go into the cube with janeway and he had to stay out on voyager. i bet tuvcok was so smug about it. idk why but it brings me so much joy to imagine them hating each other and as an extent maybe also fighting over janeway's affection, be it platonic or not

also, i can't remember if this was in this episode or the next one but the bit where seven was in her cell fucking SCREAMING na janeway was behind her grabbing her...sincerely hoping the dyke energy only gets better from here cuz that was gay as hell

the gift:

rip kes...i'll miss you

ik kes left bc they were having difficulties with the actress, but it still sucks that her exit was so dumb. like oh no her powers are going out of control and even though we fixed it every other time this time we can't! anyway bye!

i do appreciate the actresses crying for what felt like...you know, for real, during the goodbye. i almost welled up with them. and ten years closer to home!!! that's 13 years down, 57 to go...

kes is such a rare person in the voyager cast because she has so many connections. she's good friends with tom, she's gort tuvok and the emh as her mentors, janeway as like her fake mom, neelix as her romantic interest...she's connected to so many people. if you name anybody from the rest of the cast you'd get 2-3 connections at most. so it's sad to see her go

and like i hated neelix when he was with kes but their goodbye conversation was so lame. i still can't believe that's all we ever got about their breakup. fucking crazy

on the other hand, seven in this episode was so good, especially with like, b'elanna - her disdain and her sarcasm are useless against b'elanna who can dish it back out just as well and does not give one shit about seven's deal so long as she gets the ship working again. also? lots of women on screen during that scene. let's lez out.

and seven at the end remembering her favorite color :( i was surprised she relented in her willingness to be aboard so quickly - but it just shows that janeway genuinely did get through to her somehow. WOMEN!!!

TONIGHT: ds9's "a time to stand" and "rocks and shoals"

[felgueirosa]

i want to go on a month long research trip to asturias (and northern león!) where i can go to all the different archive offices (provincial, municipal, etc) and also maybe go to a few brañas and while i'm there commission a custom traxe vaqueira, particularly a dengue and saya

when i lived in spain i went up to asturias every weekend for my research paper (which got canned bc of covid) and went to some brañas but completely missed out on the archives bc it was the weekends and they were closed and sometimes it takes them a day to go in the deeper archive reserves to get a docuement you want which i didnt really have since i was there for a few days at a time

i would love to hit up some brañas that are really important for my current paper, though i couldnt do a ton, my body can't take the hiking as much anymore :(

but the archives were such an unexplored trove of knowledge about vaqueiros. there are completely unique documents with so much information in local archives. if you walk in theyll let you look at pretty much anything, but the online search sucks so bad its pretty much not functional. ive tried to email different archives so many times and they give me such shitty responses.

i realized last night i honestly dont have a ton of things stopping me from just going to asturias for a month. i live with my parents, i dont have to pay for housing or food, so ive saved all my money for years. ive worked my shit job for so long. its the only thing stopping me. but we have no paid time off and they need me so badly that i could just leave for a month since i pretty much have unlimited unpaid vacation and then come back and they wouldnt fire me and if they did i wouldnt give a shit. explaining to my parents would be harder, i rarely talk to them about the research and vaqueiro stuff i do and never talk to my dad about it. they wouldnt understand it at all. but also i'm a fucking adult and i can do what i want. so i can just go to asturias for a month.

i want information so i can understand my people. there is such a wealth of information on vaqueiros in those archives that no one has really looked at or seen the value of and its just sitting there. and i want to continue working on my undergrad thesis to make it something publishable and something with brand new research instead of reinterpretations of news articles, books, and other peoples research

[troglobite]

kljfaksd

question for my irl friends is this

did you grow up w ppl pretending to be your friend as a joke, or fake asking you out (or alternatively, being The Only One to NOT be asked out, making it a spectacle w an audience), or ppl taking advantage of you for their own gain, often by means of making you think they liked you?

were the majority of your friends randos from other actual friend groups who thought you were funny or useful or entertaining, and so, bc you had no other recognizable Group to hang out with, they basically took pity on you?

did you stop getting invited to parties after the age at which inviting everyone in class became obsolete?

were you called, a million times by a million different ppl in a million different circumstances, annoying? not in subtext, not through guesswork or anxiety brain. literally, to your face, called annoying by so many people, including friends. at all stages of your life. regardless of what personality and behavioral changes were made to try and STOP being annoying.

bc basically if not that really explains why everyone ignores basically everything i say, and no one wants to talk to me unless i 1. can be a charity case 2. am providing something for them that they like.

yes, this includes even when i ask them how they're doing or what's up, or specifically bring up something that they enjoy and expressed interest in discussing.

the charity case thing comes out HARD when i mention being the only one in the discord. or being alone. and wanting to hang out w my friends. or being disabled and sad. or when i express any emotion for which the correct and desired response is comfort.

there's just a lot of incongruity between 'you're the best dm! and a great friend! you're great and we love you!' and fucking radio silence and being ignored for weeks on end.

like i am. going Through It. and no one has offered to check in. and i stopped complaining/seeking comfort bc no one wanted to provide it.

and i haven't checked in on anyone directly because i have told them i don't do that because i know they're busy. and also bc trying to do so in the past yielded basically no results and made me apparently even more annoying. i have communicated this more than once, that i deliberately don't check in directly on purpose bc i know they're busy. and the discord is THERE FOR THEM TO USE, TOO. even when i'm using it regularly, i'm not in it CONSTANTLY. and when they DO use it, i respond!!!

so i check in in other ways, by bringing up interesting or important or funny things, or things that i think specific ppl will find funny or interesting.

still. nothing.

and every time i mention this during the rare fucking moments that we actually hang out on zoom, it's just a chorus shouting me down of how it's not intentional or personal.

okay. sure. thanks.

now can we get to the part where we collaboratively figure out how to make sure i DON'T feel like RANCID SHIT bc you guys are modeling the EXACT behaviors of my 'friends' and bullies throughout my entire fucking life?

or how abt when we're hanging out for the sake of my mental health--which they encouraged, which i asked for, and they obliged--i basically end up third wheeling it. nobody talking to me. nobody playing games w me. they're just playing bg3 with each other, not including me, and talking not consistently loud enough for the mic to pick up, and abt shit and ppl i've never heard of and trying to catch me up is just annoying. like a hang out that was supposed to make me feel better just makes me feel infinitely worse.

or how in any hang out ppl basically just never want to let me experience a breadth of emotions, or share abt my life, or any of that shit. i ask abt theirs and express genuine interest bc i do genuinely care. and i listen to conversations go on around me, sometimes with me. but somehow when talking i just fuck up and am annoying and my life isn't interesting and if i talk abt it i'm just sad and annoying and sucking up all the air in the room.

idfk man. everybody has their own issues and trauma but every time we talk abt childhood stuff in school i'm the only one who's met w like. Sad Silence. i'm the only one w nothing to share bc i can't/don't relate bc my childhood was just being bullied. constantly.

and somehow the ones who experienced some negativity had groups of cool or fun friends and they got through it that way.

i couldn't bc my friends were also the bullies. idk man it's 4 am i'm sad and tired and my hand still isn't fully healed and i should stop typing.

idr why i started thinking abt this. but something just. reminded me. anyway.

i guess i'm just tired of it being 'that's just an anxious thought that's irrational :)'

when it's like. no. my literal FRIENDS throughout my ENTIRE LIFE have told me TO MY FACE repeatedly that I AM ANNOYING. i have been ostracized or punished or ignored or mocked or gaslit. i was bullied basically my entire childhood and past that, it was pity and self-defense that kept me with any semblance of friends.

even to ppl who hsould've been or said they were my closest friends, i am. just not that important ultimately.

i'm tired of not being a priority in anybody's life. i matter so little. and i'm so tired and so jaded and so TIRED. SO FUCKING TIRED. that i don't WANT to start over. i don't WANT to try and make new friends i'm TIRED.

making friends is literally a SOURCE OF FUCKING TRAUMA. straight up i remember my first day in fucking preschool vividly bc i'm so inherently bad at making friends. and it just set the tone for the rest of my life.

so i don't want to. i've tried many different ways to be friends. i've spent a lot of energy. and right now i feel insane and evil and selfish and cruel for being like.

i just want to prioritize myself.

bc it feels like maybe that's all i've done my entire fucking life. and i;m just a narcissistic (dsm not involved, just a descriptor/adj) piece of shit whos self-pitying and unselfaware and refuses to change.

but it FEELS like ive tried changing a lot over the course of my life.

idk. im just at a stage in my life where i want friends and relationships. but the daily upkeep is a lot. i want casual conversations and check ins. not huge obligations. i want to work up to that. bc the thought of someone depending on me feels awful and like too much. like id run away from it.

but i want friends.

and i guess. i guess i DO sort of try to maintain friendships in my own way and it just. doesnt matter. bc they dont try to maintain them with ME. they just. assume/know/take for granted that i'll be there. bc of course i will. im lonely and desperate.

and the last time i tried setting boundaries and asking for support in specific ways, it blew up in my face and i ended up losing all my friends.

and now im just stuck. taking care of health stuff. being sad and miserable. doing work. playing catch up. i dont have the time energy or physical ability to gameplan. or have a complete dialogue w the player who blew things up for me at the dnd table.

im exhausted. im literally freshly traumatized (recently discovered when i had a literal autonomic nervous system trauma reaction). im tired. and id just like support.

but asking for it directly got me nothing. asking indirectly got me nothing. so im just. not even trying anymore.

and it feels awful to say that its a test for them to see if they even notice or care that im not present in the discord or talking to any of them anymore. but like. it is part of it. its secondary to the main part which is that:

it feels awful, like gut-wrenchingly fucking awful to be sharing bits abt your life, sharing things you love and WANT to share, sharing things to entice others into convo, sending things bc they made you think of them, and to receive fucking silence in return.

or the occasional pity reply.

and when even those pity replies taper off and stop? like fuck, man.

'they're busy and have things going on!'

i know. that's the problem. everything else, for every single one of those ppl, ranks higher in priority than me. including other relationships. i dont get to be on par with any of that.

meanwhile in terms of friendships, they are my TOP priority.

but its not reciprocated.

so at some point its like. why would i keep following the annoying as fuck advice abt like 'dont stop reaching out, theyll be glad you did!'

bc its clearly just not true for me and any of my irl friends. and never has been and never will be.

its not even bc of covid, ive just. never been anyones serious priority. or a treasured friendship. and when i have, like ONCE, it fizzled out bc of other ppl who ended up being more important.

and i dont mean this in a 'i have to be the only person in your life' way

you can have MULTIPLE priorities, all of differing levels and grouped in different ways

but being grouped in the same way but not receiving the same priority or care. like. thats what sucks.

and then like. specifically this one friendship im thinking abt, i was there for her through SO MUCH SHIT. i worked my ass off to make sure i was threading the needle on being supportive and not pushing her. and i wanted her safe and happy.

and ultimately it was for nought bc abusive relationships are like that

bc to be told 'i want you to share more with me and be vulnerable with me' and then

i do it. i literally did it.

and like. on the one hand, maybe she needed practice. but on the other hand.

if you do this with your other friends, why are you SO UNCOMFORTABLE with me being vulnerable? why are you SO INCAPABLE of LISTENING to me and understanding what im saying and where im coming from? and offering ANY support?

and like fuck that, man, ive literally MODELED for you like 'waht do you need/what would you like from me?' type shit so just ASK ME

and then to now be trying to set up a zoom hangout session and for her to keep putting it off and saying shes busy and she cant and blah blah blah

im tired. im tired of being taken for granted. of not being a priority. of not mattering.

of also--not being privy to anyones lives! to do so, i have to PULL TEETH to get answers/replies from them, or i have to find out abt it second or third hand in a group hangout session.

im tired of being the one to reach out. to check in. to try and have convos. to ask for support. to set up hang out times and games. of being the only one doing like WORK for this dnd campaign. of having to manage all this shit.

im tired of not mattering. of being so low on the list of priorities.

im tired of trying a million things to try and fix myself and my behavior--both in unhealthy and supposedly really healthy ways.

and still running up against the same shit. idk what to do anymore. and im tired. im tired of trying. of putting myself out there. i dont want to. im tired and im scared and i have every fucking right to be.

and i dont want ppl to tell me but i HAVE to if i dont want to be lonely anymore.

ive tried all your fucking suggestions and nothing seems to work longterm.

the only times i ever hate myself? it's not when im alone w myself. i can be alone w myself. i can admit my good and my bad. i can recognize my insecurities.

but when i hate myself? its when im a direct inconvenience and annoyance to ppl who say they care abt me. its when i feel or observe that i am making the lives of these ppl i care abt, harder and worse.

i dont need to work on self love or self compassion. ive done that. thats not the problem.

i am traumatized and people WONT STOP FUCKING RE-TRAUMATIZING ME.

at what point do i just get to throw my hands up and say THIS IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM, NOW. IVE DONE MY WORK. I'LL KEEP DOING MY WORK. BUT FUCKING CHRIST ALIVE WHY CANT YOU ACT LIKE YOU EVEN LIKE ME AT ALL???

i just think it would be impossible for anyone to be me and not come out thinking 'jfc there is something fundamentally wrong w me that everybody can pick up on and HATES, and idk how to find it and fix it despite trying for 30 years'

i make mistakes. i know theyre mistakes. im working on mending mistakes without shame. like im not a perfect and enlgihtened individual, im just working on things.

but i cant work on my own shit and magically live in a world where ppl dont fucking hate me. or use me. or ignore me. or find me deeply annoying.

idk i guess its late and im spiraling and im just tired. im fucking tired. ive been inside and alone and these past like 9, 10 days without being able to properly use my hand, so i couldnt work or do chores or game plan or talk to ppl at lenght like. idk. i guess it made everything worse.

im not even currently sobbing or melting down. im just tired.

and i guarantee my stupid fucking hand is gonna be SO fucked up tomorrow. not even using my pinky to type. but it hurts.

whatever.

[blkkizzat]

Haiiii babes!!!! Hope u been well 😙

(Literally just came from rereading plug choso once again to keep it fresh in my brain hehe) istg i love him so bad but….nicki was right, trauma is the way. Him sharing that blunt with gouda bitch has me steaming every time smh. I would fuck cho infront of her but she dont deserve to see the dickk!

Venus in gemini and mars in aries HELP HSJKSKSK NO OKAY U and toji would be so good for each other 😭 yall can play games and he drag u back in so u dont get too bored hehe. My mars is in leo and my good friend studies astrology and she deadass do be saying thats the corruption kink placement hehe, plus i got some virgo in there too so my shit is obsesseddddd with corrupting purity whoops (and obsessive + possessive AF like i wanna be someone's first and their everything) which is so true cause i be fucking with ppl to make em obsessed with me and ion even want them jdksks. I js cant do virgin reader bc i have a SA trauma which sucks bc there are so many virgin reader fics and i gotta sit em out which is why i flock to shit like otaku!gojo where the man is a virgin like that heals me so much u have no idea lmao (even tho this pussy can squirt by itself, i would show virgin gojo all the tricks hehe) Yes ma'am i do fuck w astrology, and recently tarot a lil bit 👀 got me a lil reading and erthing hehe

Tbf i dont feel like u have a truly irredeemable character because they all have some sort of bg story (okay lets ignore reader from gf!choso literally killing a man bc DAMN when i say the dialogue you gave him had me stressing tf out, like i almost had an angry cry when he was airing out shit at the party. The bat scene from there was so iconic tho) like even plug choso, reader is a brat but i rlly feel like its bc shes an overachiever which i vibe w soooo hard. She's the definition of "honey u need to get some dick and RELAX" bc she trying to do it all and none of it is for herself. Im similar so i see her bratiness as a defense mechanism iykwim. Ngl the ending of pt 2 had me scared bc like i can dish it out, but i cant take it LMAOOOOOO like choso shared a blunt w some other bitch and i was already in tears istg he gon have to make that up to me smh. YESSSSSSS i love with the characters are still downbad for the reader even when she's a bitch like, thats the kinda ride or die i wantttt.

I feel u bc i cant do angst that effects the reader lol.

Guestprofessor yooooo i love that dynamic!!! I rarely read gojo (or geto too) bc i rarely find a version of him that doesnt turn his charisma into fuckboyness like it just aint for me, but w.e the girlies enjoy :p

Ohhh i do need to check out those websites even tho i have nowhere to go rip. I love me a gown but they almost never reach past my shins 💀 got that damn amazoness genetic smh

LMFAOOO ur so real for that. Tbh cho could be a virgin and id still talk to him like a two dollar hoe 😭

Sending u all the good vibes frrrrr its always fun chatting w u too kali babes 😚

🍒 anon

Awe you are so sweet reading it again. I hope I can get the next part out tonight for u, I’m getting 2 people to read so once they are done I will make changes and post. 

LMFAO im crying cause you are like the 3rd person who told me that part had them heated. But hehe funny you should mention fucking him in front of her…. *shhhh*

Yeah no I would need the games to keep me interested lmfao. Oooh corruption kink!  you know until Choso I never had one of those but I just want to ruin him dskhfkjhdkHSa. But relatable, sometimes you just flirt because you can LOL

Oh no, im so sorry to hear about your SA trauma. I completely understand. While I don’t necessarily have drama, I think another reason I lean towards bimbo!reader is I don’t like how society places a woman’s value on virginity. It’s a totally different thing that wanting to be someone’s first or even corrupting, cause im into those kinks too. I don’t like when it seems like the whole value of them is their virginity if it makes sense. 

I actually own a tarot deck too! But I haven’t studied it enough to do it on my own. I’ve had mine done by friends before though!

Lmfao yeah gf!choso reader is also a bit crazy, when I eventually do the p3 to that, it will go into more of how she doesn’t have bloodlust like choso, and actually wants him to slow down a bit so he doesn’t get caught (gf!choso finds himself not needing to kill as much bc he has reader as a stress release). But she doesn’t have qualms with blood or the fact he’s a serial killer lolol. She kinda slow lowkey lolol. Her mind: “killing is bad. But I love Choso and he loves me so Choso is good too.” I mean she joined his major cause she watched Dexter so she aint the brightest bulb. jhdfkhdskjfhsd. <3 Unlike plug!choso sorority bimbo tho, she is never ashamed of Choso and wants him to come to frat parties as her date (which he reluctantly goes to because he’s whipped and jealous as all hell). Ahhh I rambled about this too much lol

Oooh how tall are you if you don’t mind me asking? Im 5’7 and some of the gowns I got from there drag a bit so maybe you’d have more luck with them!

Mwahhmwahhh babes <3333

[beta-adjacent]

AGGHHH YIPPEE :strained smile emoji: I GUESS YALL ARE GETTKNG MORE FEELS TODAY: autism edition (not me having autism, I don’t think, unless this is related to that somehow. Idk my Brian is genuinely so scatterbrained rn I don’t know what to do with myself. Like all my organs are unraveling bc I kept them too compact last week. Sorry, worse stuff under the cut :’)))))))) sorry again)

Bro, my empathy is so fucking bad because I feel too much of people’s emotions and then I just. Assume something I read is something everyone experiences.

Like, number one, got called ~The Spectrum Whisperer~ during the holidays this year ayyyyyyyyyyy let’s go (they all marvel at me, like understanding autism is somehow to be marveled?????????? Skill issue, that’s what they all have.)

Number two, I sometimes feel like a really really bad whisperer (I shouldn’t actually call myself a “whisperer” because again, this shit isn’t hard, people are just assholes or just aren’t taking the time to learn. Fucking skill issues y’all!!!) because I Know I can’t assume or generalize things, but I still do.

Like, ohohoho my god, my anxiety around the thought of autistic people getting their schedule thrown off because of me?????!?!? I want to break down crying and eject my organs out of my body bro. Because I know that feeling!!!! Losing control because you don’t know what’ll happen in your day is fucking angering and confusing and makes you feel terrible!!!!!!! And that’s coming from someone who (probably) doesn’t even have autism.

So good golly, it makes me sick to my stomach to think I’ve ruined someone’s schedule. But I am a human and schedules often go wrong and I feel so guilty everytime it does. I can’t ever tell if it’s better to just suffer through and let the schedule run its course (save their schedule) or if I should just say I can’t do it (and save my schedule).

What’s worse is that I think the majority of the autistics I’m surrounded by rn don’t actually mind schedule changes that much!! It’s a fucking me emotion and assumption I’m imposing onto them, like a total asshole!!!!!!!! It makes me want to break out in hives or pull my bones out of my body, like that level of anguish y’know???!?!?!?

So then of course now I’m the self-fulfilling asshole prophecy who’s ruining my own schedule and torturing everyone else by trying to make everyone fit in my schedule. Which of course I’m aware of and that contributes to just another feeling of self-loathing and doubt.

And what sucks about that is the autistic people in my life rn really prioritize honesty. It’s been so hard to remember to be honest. I kind of forgot why I lie in conversation or about anything at all. No one likes dishonesty. Except those rare times when they do. But I can’t always tell that so I just play it safe by lying about random things all the time. Am I lying to you all right now by explaining this story? I might not be, but now I’ve planted the idea in your head!

anyway uhhh. Right, there’s a rarely seen desire in the people I care about in my life to be truthful about everything. “Ew gross,” I think to them, “even lies of omission?” They reply in my head “especially that!!” I groan, and turn away from them, but then I get scared they disappeared, as if I’m some child and they’re playing peekaboo just to fuck with me. So I whip my head back and they’re still fucking there. Tormenting me, I tell you!! But of course they aren’t actually, it’s just my fear again. Silly fear.

….wow I totally lost track of everything I was talking about. But I’d love to talk to my Good Honest Friends about this stuff, but after all of this, do you really think I’d allow myself to tell them? My Good/Bad Dishonest Friends definitely wouldn’t get it. My Bad Honest Friends actually might…. But they might hurt my feelings if I tell them. Lord forbid they do as I fear and actually say I have a skill issue!

No I’m kidding. None of this is real. I made it all up. I’m perfect and have no such feelings or flaws or worrries. And if I did I’d certainly feel like I could tell absolutely anyone about them other than my therapist who I’ve even started to suspect hates me for my withdrawn nature.

Ok I read through everything I wrote. This is a good skill I learned a long time ago. If I don’t know what I’m saying, I pause and then I think back and then I try to reformulate my thoughts before the anxiety of taking too long to think eats me. So I’m trying to say that my empathy levels of really kind but really really stupid, because I’m imposing my own issue onto others, and instead of just owning up to my issue and working with people on a mutually agreed upon midpoint, I try to cut corners by meeting them exactly where they’re at, which isn’t often where I’m at, and praying I didn’t stretch myself too thin, except they can always tell when I have because I’m so fucking easy to read that it’s embarrassing.

I don’t know what I’d do with myself if they hate me for what I do or think or say. Probably unsavory things. I wish I didn’t care so much. Maybe this isn’t empathy. It’s just some ugly curse I’ve been born with. But I love them so much. But I hate myself so much. I’m so tired.

TLDR uhhh. Purposefully bulldoze over people’s schedules, especially mine.